0:53
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Losing her discretion, advised. Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.
1:06
Voiceover
What are you insane?
1:17
Drew
Okay, I'm not asking you, I thought in the fifth and sixth grade that you could tell us in the alternative school. What's going on there, Nicole?
1:25
I just, like, I got in a lot of trouble with other kids and stuff.
1:28
Drew
In the sixth grade?
1:30
Yeah.
1:30
Drew
And you're now in the alternative school?
1:33
Yeah.
1:33
Drew
All right, can you work your way out of that alternative school?
1:37
Well, you can, but you have to, like, earn enough credits and stuff.
1:41
Drew
Okay, well, work hard at that, would you? Because you'll get soft in that alternative school.
1:45
Yeah, I'm doing pretty good.
1:47
Drew
Okay, good. Stay with that. We had an alternative school over at North Hollywood High. It was called Amelia Earhart. They basically carved out, like, a 40-foot square of the girls' softball diamond in the corner and fenced it off and just put all the troublemakers there. And forget about learning anymore. It's just, like, contained. Just sit there, smoke. You know, they're like smoking cigarettes and calling the teacher by their first name. You know, parking the motorcycles in the classroom.
2:13
Wow.
2:14
Drew
But it's like, what they've done is, it's almost like a, it's like a little prison within this, the school system, which is, forget about these kids. We're writing them off. We're not going to teach them anything, but we don't want them to get in the way of the others they're trying to learn, so we'll just put them in the corner here and they can just smoke cigarettes and play Dungeons and Dragons and they'll cruise for about five years, and then we'll unleash them on a, a knowing society. Yeah.
2:39
But I wonder what kind of trouble you're getting into in the fifth grade. I can't even remember that far back, but.
2:44
It's not a good sign.
2:46
What are you doing in the fifth grade?
2:47
Drew
I don't, I don't know, but like I said.
2:49
Adam
Maybe they're doing the crime and drugs and sex and all kinds of things.
2:52
Drew
Oh yeah, our listeners can't.
2:53
Adam
Yeah, they started early.
2:55
All right, so.
2:56
Adam
But wouldn't you want that population educated about sexual functioning?
3:00
Drew
Yes.
3:00
Adam
Just the very one you want them to have?
3:02
Drew
I'd put Norplant in every one of them that came from the North.
3:04
Adam
And she's asking us if you can get pregnant by a small entailment.
3:07
Drew
Guys too. And by the way, you saying no just gave her the green light for the BJ.
3:11
Adam
I know. I hope you know that. No, no, no. This is a retrospective question. I guarantee it.
3:18
Drew
Oh, she's already done it.
3:19
Adam
She's worried that she's pregnant.
3:20
Drew
Okay. Oh boy. Christina?
3:22
Hi.
3:23
Drew
You're 18. What's up?
3:26
Caller
Well, I've been in a Westin relationship for three years.
3:29
Drew
Three years?
3:30
Caller
Hello?
3:31
Drew
Yeah. Three years?
3:32
Yeah.
3:32
Drew
And you only started at 15?
3:34
Yeah.
3:35
Adam
How old is she?
3:35
I think 22.
3:37
Drew
She got an alternative school?
3:38
Caller
No, I don't go to school.
3:39
Adam
So you got to have a new... when you were 15, she was 19.
3:42
Caller
Right. That's... Well, in that time frame, I know I was young and stuff, I discovered that I'm straight. And we've broken up a few times over it and gotten back together and stuff.
3:54
Adam
Why do you get together if you're straight?
3:57
Caller
Well, I didn't know it when we were getting back together. I wasn't... I was confused about my sexuality.
4:02
Adam
Were you sexually abused or something?
4:04
Caller
I wasn't sexually abused, but I was abused.
4:06
Adam
Physically abused? Emotionally abused?
4:07
Caller
Physically, emotionally, emotionally. Everything you can think of except sexually.
4:13
Adam
Well, but how old were you when you started having sex?
4:15
Caller
When I started having sex?
4:16
Adam
How old were you?
4:17
Twelve.
4:18
Adam
And that was... How old a person?
4:20
Caller
He was sixteen.
4:22
That's kind of abusive.
4:23
Adam
That's getting close.
4:24
Drew
Did you have any... Well, there's a big difference between a sixteen-year-old guy and a twelve-year-old girl. I mean, that's a huge difference.
4:31
Adam
Did you have any fun with your peers when you were younger?
4:33
Did I have what?
4:34
Caller
Troubles?
4:34
Adam
Did you fool around with your peers when you were younger?
4:38
Caller
No, I started fooling around when I was like eleven. And then when I was twelve, I started having sex.
4:44
I've had a lot of sexual partners.
4:46
Caller
Oh, boy.
4:47
Drew
All right. So you're not lesbian.
4:50
Adam
And you just you were confused.
4:52
Caller
Right. Exactly.
4:53
Adam
Right.
4:53
Caller
So anyway, like I've never met anybody like this girl before in my life. And I completely love her. And I want to be friends with her. And we're going to try and like actually break up for real this time and meet in three months and see how we're doing. And then three months after that.
5:09
Drew
Three months is five years, by the way, when you're eighteen. Three days. Yeah, really. And I don't understand what the point is. You're not lesbian. I don't trust this woman by virtue of the fact that you were fifteen and she was nineteen when she spooked you up. And the kind of condition you're in at fifteen, you probably... I don't trust your judgment.
5:33
Adam
You were a victim.
5:33
Caller
I don't trust my judgment.
5:35
Adam
You were a victim and she was a victimizer. What is so marvelous about this person?
5:40
Caller
Well, I don't know. We're both co-dependent, so I think that might be part of the problem.
5:45
Adam
You were both abused.
5:47
Caller
Well, she wasn't abused. She grew up in a family where people, they didn't really talk to each other. They didn't communicate.
5:52
Adam
Okay. I want you to check out her history a little bit. I bet you're going to find something more than just that there.
5:57
Drew
What did she do for a living, Christina?
5:59
Caller
She goes to school all right now.
6:01
Drew
All right. Junior college?
6:02
Caller
No, just regular college.
6:04
Drew
Regular college?
6:05
Caller
Yeah. Her parents are, you know, they're paying for her college and everything.
6:08
Drew
Okay.
6:08
Caller
You know, I come from a background where we were poor and didn't have enough food and stuff, and she comes from a completely opposite background.
6:15
Adam
All right.
6:16
Caller
Well, like, I want to be friends with her, but I don't know how to do it.
6:19
Adam
I think your plan is fine.
6:20
Drew
You're planning on time off.
6:22
Adam
You're going to be in here at least six months alone, but the three-month checkup is fine. Yeah. Just don't get back together in three months.
6:28
Drew
She won't.
6:29
Adam
They won't. And then in the three months.
6:30
Caller
That's another problem is that every time like we see each other, we break up. We just end up getting back together.
6:35
Adam
Yeah, but that's, that's, you have to have boundaries. She's going to come after you. When you establish a boundary, she's going to try to blow right past them.
6:42
Drew
Yeah. And she's a manipulator and Christine is a victim.
6:47
Adam
That's right.
6:47
Drew
So she's going to give in to her every time. And she's older and looks at her as sort of a mother figure. Oh, boy. All right. Are we ready to kill ourselves yet or should we take another call? Let's take another call. All right. I don't know. I think we should cut our losses.
7:01
We'll stop right here.
7:02
Drew
Yeah. Well, as I always say. Let's take another one. It'll be the longest interview you've ever done.
7:07
A eternity.
7:09
Drew
Michael.
7:09
Yeah.
7:10
Drew
You're 27. What's up?
7:12
Caller
Yeah. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about two years. And we just recently started having sex about four months ago. And it was real intense for her. And now she's barely feeling it. And there's times where she doesn't feel it at all. And I still feel it. That's fine.
7:31
Adam
Is she on medications?
7:33
Caller
Just for her glaucoma, but she's been on that all her life.
7:36
Adam
Glaucoma drops?
7:37
Caller
Yeah.
7:38
Adam
Okay.
7:38
Is she...
7:40
Adam
Any history of sexual abuse?
7:42
Caller
No.
7:43
Adam
You sure?
7:43
Caller
Yeah.
7:44
Drew
Okay. Well, wait a minute. You guys were together for a year and, you know, eight months. There's something before you had sex?
7:50
Caller
Yeah.
7:50
Drew
And you're twenty-seven?
7:51
Caller
Yeah.
7:52
Drew
How old is she?
7:52
Caller
Twenty-five.
7:53
Drew
Why were you together for so long before you had sex?
7:56
Caller
Oh, because she's Catholic and Hispanic and, you know, it's not right for her family to... She feels it's not right to...
8:05
Drew
I don't aim.
8:06
Well, listen to that.
8:08
Caller
Her parents are real strict about it.
8:09
Drew
Really?
8:09
Was she a virgin?
8:11
Caller
What's that?
8:11
Was she a virgin?
8:13
Caller
No. But I was the only other second partner.
8:15
Uh-huh.
8:16
Drew
Okay. You know, here's what I know from doing this show, Michael. It's sad but true. Most of the women who remain virgins for long periods of time will chalk it up to religion, family and values, but it's really just something going on. And I think you're now running into whatever was going on. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. No, it's a great notion and I wish people could do it, but people don't go till 25, 26.
8:45
Caller
Oh yeah, that's a little long.
8:46
Caller
Her first partner was when she was younger.
8:49
Drew
All right, but I mean, okay, people who aren't virgins don't get in relationships for a year and a half without having sex.
8:55
Caller
Yeah, that's why I was like, is she the first? Are you her the first or not?
8:59
Adam
How old was she when she had it?
9:00
Caller
I mean, why are we...
9:01
Caller
She was still in high school.
9:02
Adam
She was still in high school.
9:04
Caller
Then what happened in between? That's what I want to know because once you've had the sex, like, what are you waiting for? You're already...
9:08
Drew
You're already going to hell.
9:10
Caller
Those days are gone.
9:11
Adam
Let's get your kicks in.
9:13
Caller
Well, she never really was allowed to leave the house because she can't see very well.
9:18
Drew
Interesting. Wow. Okay, well, she can't see well. Maybe she doesn't know you're in it.
9:23
Caller
She's got her parents with her and she wasn't allowed to, you know, be out there.
9:27
Drew
I've had girls do that. I have to go turn the light on and let them know I was in them. I sometimes... I've refined it because the light's a little distracted. A little flashlight, like a pen light. Like, no, no, like the ones the ushers used to use at the old movie theaters. You know, the sort of red, long extension at the end. It's sort of, you know... And plus it can be used for other things.
9:47
Caller
Dr. Drew.
9:50
Drew
I'm in love with Melissa, by the way. I love that laugh.
9:53
Caller
A little bit of depression. A little bit of depression. Cause that?
9:57
Adam
Absolutely.
9:58
Drew
Yeah, some emotional going on, Michael. That's what I'm telling you. Yeah, and it's something you have to check into a little. It's not like, well, she just doesn't like sex anymore. She can't feel it.
10:09
Adam
She's cut off in more ways than just mechanically.
10:13
Drew
Okay. All right, so talk to her about it, and just see if you can open up some dialogue. Maybe she'll reveal something that will make more sense, some episode or something that's bothering her, and maybe she just needs to talk about it. If a woman says she can't feel anything down there, that's not a great sign.
10:32
Adam
Well, usually it's sexual abuse that causes that kind of disconnect. But usually it's constant. It doesn't come and go.
10:41
Drew
Yeah, but it is...
10:42
Caller
And they literally can't feel it.
10:43
Adam
They can't feel it.
10:44
Caller
Nothing, nothing.
10:45
Adam
They think it's like a numbness. They feel it.
10:47
Caller
That's not funny.
10:48
Drew
All right. John?
10:50
Caller
Yeah.
10:51
Drew
You're 26.
10:52
Caller
Yeah.
10:52
Melissa De Sousa
My question is for Dr. Drew. And Adam's not going to like this question.
10:57
Adam
Maybe he's going to answer it, too.
10:58
Melissa De Sousa
No, no, I can't. I want to know. I'm serious. I want to know what happens if I stop masturbation.
11:04
Drew
You explode.
11:05
Adam
So Adam has been experimenting with this within three days.
11:10
Drew
I, uh... I have?
11:14
Adam
When you're in your contest. Oh, well.
11:17
Drew
This is a long time ago, and I didn't really participate in this, but it was long before the Seinfeld episode that certified touched on it. But my friends decided to see who would go the longest without masturbating, and they had a t-shirt made up, and there was sort of a crown, you know, like the America's Cup, you know? One country wins it one year, and they hang on to it until somebody takes it from them. The holder of the shirt right now is the Wheeze, by the way, and he made it to like 22 days, but... He's held it for 24 years? He's held?
11:47
Well, let's see, we're probably about 22.
11:48
Drew
Yeah, it was a good 10, 10, 12, 13 years, something like that. I never participated in a competition myself.
11:56
Adam
Too dangerous.
11:57
Drew
Yeah. I know that after day like 18, I'd probably take out a family. You know what I mean? Like, I'd get up on some water tower or something, start shooting innocent people. I know my limitations. I didn't want to do that. John?
12:12
Melissa De Sousa
Yeah.
12:13
Drew
Why do you, why are you interested in quitting?
12:16
Melissa De Sousa
Actually, it's for religious purposes. And I want to be solid until I'm married. All right.
12:22
Caller
But, that's all.
12:24
Drew
You're getting married this weekend?
12:26
Melissa De Sousa
No.
12:26
Drew
That's a horrible idea.
12:28
Melissa De Sousa
No, no, no. I've gone before. I've gone three, six and nine months.
12:32
Drew
Three, six and nine months?
12:34
Caller
Yeah.
12:34
Adam
Do you have nocturnal emissions?
12:37
Melissa De Sousa
Not, I mean, not like, you know, when I was younger, but... But that's rare.
12:42
Drew
You go nine months and you don't have a wet dream?
12:45
Caller
Yeah.
12:46
Drew
And what happens? Is it like a bear hibernating? Is it just shut down?
12:52
Caller
I don't know.
12:53
Adam
Yeah, you just shut down.
12:54
Caller
Do you have any prospects for getting married? Any woman?
12:56
Melissa De Sousa
Um, well, that's part of my fate.
12:59
Adam
What is?
13:00
Melissa De Sousa
I think not getting married. Well, there's things that I need to do. And when I get through that to the point where I need to do it, I think God's going to bring the woman to me.
13:08
Drew
All right.
13:09
Adam
Were you an addict one time?
13:10
Drew
Let me, hold on a second, let me just translate God bringing the woman in. Fast forward five years, he hasn't jacked off in four and a half years and he's feverishly thumbing through the LA Weekly, looking in the personal edge, just a single, yeah, okay, here's one, lesbian chick who likes long nails and long walks.
13:35
Adam
What went before this?
13:36
Drew
All right, what happened, what did you do? Would you just get out of prison or something?
13:39
Melissa De Sousa
No, no, no, I'm serious.
13:40
Drew
Seriously, were you an alcoholic or a heroine?
13:43
Melissa De Sousa
No.
13:44
Drew
Really?
13:45
Melissa De Sousa
No.
13:45
Drew
Who gets into religion at this stage of their life without killing somebody? You know what I'm saying?
13:51
Melissa De Sousa
I'm concerned if you stop, does it...
13:54
Drew
No, I want to know about your religion for a second. Were you always this religious?
13:58
Melissa De Sousa
No.
13:59
Drew
What happened that got you this religious?
14:02
Melissa De Sousa
Just a bunch of experiences.
14:04
Drew
Like what?
14:05
Melissa De Sousa
Like what? Just like going down the wrong...
14:10
Drew
John, come on.
14:11
Adam
Do not... Really? What happened?
14:14
Melissa De Sousa
What happened? Yeah. I just got into a bad relationship.
14:20
Adam
John?
14:21
Melissa De Sousa
Got into drugs.
14:22
Drew
Okay. Now we're getting warm.
14:25
Adam
Didn't I? Was it when we were saying drugs? I mean, that's what we figured here.
14:27
Melissa De Sousa
Yeah, but before I did drugs, I still had those beliefs earlier on.
14:31
Adam
That's fine, John.
14:32
Drew
Yeah, everyone has those. They just have sense enough to ignore them. Now usually either get into drugs or you go to prison. These are the ways you find Jesus. I'm convinced that Jesus is in prison. That's why everyone who gets incarcerated finds Jesus Christ. He's in the... That's why we never see the guy. He's in the lockdown.
14:51
Melissa De Sousa
Well, seriously, I know that as a man, your libido tapers off. If you stop when you get older, does that have an effect on your performance later on?
15:04
Adam
No, it doesn't matter.
15:06
Drew
Well, but what about in terms of just getting out of practice?
15:11
Adam
You know, you'll get right back in.
15:12
You will?
15:13
Just like riding a bike.
15:14
Drew
Just like riding a bike.
15:15
All right.
15:16
Drew
This is the most foolhardy plan I've ever heard in my life. I love it when people... You know, here's my favorite part of life. It really is. People have a sort of... In this country especially, and probably in lots of parts of the world, a sort of retarded, half-baked, convenient approach to religion, you know? And then it's always sort of around. They do that thing where they go, well, sure, I'm nailing these chicks, and I got a couple kids out of wedlock, but yeah, I'm Jesus Christ as my savior. You know, but I'm not really that into him, but I'm still kind of into doing coke and getting laid, too. But yeah, I believe in Jesus Christ. That's like the one sort of retarded aspect of it. The other one is people wait until they F up royally, usually kill somebody, maybe vehicular manslaughter, something like that, or they do some time in prison, or they just freak out on crack or crank or whatever the hell they freak out on. Then they sober up, then they get bored, then they find religion, then they start trying to sort of figure out a direction via the religion. I'm going to stop jacking off, and I'm going to wait for God to deliver abroad so I can get laid without the jacking off. And it's just another big fat retarded distraction. This is not religion, this is not what God has in mind, and please don't get mired in these retarded details. And your own sort of half-baked interpretation is not the one that's correct.
16:39
Adam
But these things can work for people.
16:41
Drew
Good! If it keeps a guy away from heroin for another week, fine.
16:45
Adam
Yes.
16:46
Drew
But don't kid yourself.
16:47
Caller
I'm guilty of that too. I mean, I start praying at the, you know, I have a bad day, you know, I need something, you know. You know, we do it.
16:55
Drew
It's convenient. I have written it off completely, but that's just me. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this. Right now. We just found out during the break that Drew was on Wheel of Fortune in 1944 or 45. What was that, Drew? 1980?
17:14
Adam
1984. 1984, really?
17:16
Drew
Wheel of Fortune?
17:17
Adam
Yeah.
17:18
Drew
Drew got creamed by a woman with a GED from Kansas, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not fair, though, on those game shows because really the key to those game shows is sitting home watching them day in and day out. You know, we are seeing Husky Housewives from Missouri have a step up on guys who are actually living their life. You know what I mean? It's like some card game that you haven't played too much of as opposed to when you're sitting next to someone who's been doing it for a few years.
17:50
Adam
So much can go against you other than the skill of the game.
17:53
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. It's really luck with the wheel.
17:56
Drew
It's not your fault.
17:56
Caller
No, no, no.
17:57
Adam
I'm sorry about it.
17:58
Drew
Hey, look where you are today. I'm sure she's either dead or in jail, this bitch who took your car. And what would they give it away, like a Chrysler K car?
18:07
Adam
I can't remember. No. Make it like Firebird.
18:10
Drew
Something you would have looked cool in.
18:13
All right.
18:13
Drew
So you won nothing.
18:15
Adam
Sunny Delight, Floor Wax.
18:17
Drew
Did you really win Sunny Delight?
18:18
Oh, yes.
18:19
Adam
And they demand you take delivery.
18:22
Drew
I got to tell you, I would have sent the Sunny Delight to... I'm trying to think. Some ex-girlfriend I hated or something.
18:30
Adam
I can't remember how I got rid of it.
18:31
Drew
Your supply of Sunny Delight is worse than nothing.
18:35
Adam
And you had to pay taxes on it.
18:37
Melissa De Sousa
Oh, yes.
18:38
Drew
They tell you what it's worth and you must pay taxes. Sunny Delight is just some of the worst things that I've created. And floor wax? What the hell does a bachelor do with floor wax? Well, you could masturbate with it. Seriously, I don't even know what you do with floor wax. You didn't even have a floor, did you? You had walls and a ceiling, right?
19:00
Melissa De Sousa
No floor?
19:02
Drew
You open the front door, you fall right down in the basement. Oh, man. I tried out. You just keep going. You hit the hell out of there. I tried out for the dating game when I was... You know how the dating game works is people sign, and maybe this is true with other game shows too, but this is the dating game. Now mind you, we're talking about 13 years ago or maybe 12 years ago, but other people sign you up. When you go down there to do it, they hand you a sheet and it says, give us the names of some other young people you think would be good for this. And lo and behold, you just get a phone call and they say, come on down. I wasn't doing anything. I thought I could make a few bucks. I went down there and you played a little mock dating game in the producer's office and it's you and like 10 other guys. And there's like two checks and we did the little mock dating game. And then when it was done, I'll never forget this, the producer said, all right, gentlemen, all of you are fantastic. I have all your paperwork in front of me and I'll be notifying you all in just the next couple of days and we'll be giving you dates to come down here and film. So thank you very much. We'll be talking to all of you soon. There's a, there's just a couple of questions I have for a few people here. Let's see, Gerald McNeely, I don't have your address filled out here correctly on your application, Adam Carolla, you didn't, you got your phone number, just hang back, there's one other guy. And everyone got up and left except for the guys who screwed up on their applications. But as the other guys got up and left, I said, hey, that's just the ploy, you guys didn't make it. I was kidding. Then the door shut and the producer started yelling at me, oh, hey, hey. The guy got pissed, he was like, hey, a-hole, I kicked those guys out of there because you guys made it. Yeah, it was total BS with the application, I was just mouthing off. And this guy was seriously pissed at me.
20:56
Adam
Did you go on the show then?
20:57
Drew
Well, I went home and I told my girlfriend at the time, hey, guess what? And she said, hey, guess what? And I said, aww. And she said, aww. I said, come on, with the chaperone. No f-ing way. So I never went back. That was it. But look, I wouldn't want anything anyway. And look at Drew, he had to drink 400 gallons of Sunny Delight. And wouldn't chase it down with some floor wax. What a horrible, horrible prize. I couldn't think of anything even worse.
21:28
Melissa De Sousa
Yeah, I really couldn't.
21:30
Drew
Sarah?
21:31
Yeah?
21:32
Drew
You're 18. What's up?
21:34
Caller
Nothing. About a week ago, me and my boyfriend were at a party. Okay, I would call it a party. I was like, get together, because it was like 10 of us. Well, it was like later on that night, I was going to the bathroom. And he like knocked on the door and he said, Sarah, can I come in? And I said, well, hold on. I'm going to the bathroom. And after I'm done, I open the door and he kind of pushes me back into the bathroom. And I'm like, well, what do you want? I need to ask you a question. And he's like, don't get mad, OK? And I was like, OK. And I'll be asking you anything. And he's like, well, I just promise me you won't get mad. And I was like, OK.
22:07
Adam
I think two sort of landmarks have been passed, milestones were passed. One of them pushes you back in the bathroom. I understand. Step one, that's when you call the police.
22:17
Drew
No, it's your boyfriend.
22:18
Adam
Come on. It's not a boyfriend.
22:20
Drew
I thought it was a boyfriend.
22:21
Caller
Yeah, yeah.
22:22
Adam
I was getting excited.
22:23
Drew
I know. Yeah, me too. Don't ever jump in when Melissa's getting excited.
22:28
Caller
No, it's my boyfriend. And well, he asked me, what do you think we could use to make our specs more spicy? And I was like, well, it's not good enough. And he's like, well, yeah, good. But I just wanted to know. He asked me if he could have somebody watch us while we had sex. Yeah.
22:49
Drew
Who's that?
22:49
Caller
My friend. He asked me, first of all, he asked me how...
22:53
Drew
Your female?
22:54
Your female friend?
22:55
Caller
Yeah. He asked how good of friends we were. He's like, you're really good friends, right? And I was like, yeah.
22:59
Adam
Oh, you know what he's building up to here. This is a new tack. I've heard this one before.
23:03
Drew
Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Then he starts slowly incorporating her. It's like, what's your friend's name? Courtney. Here's how it works. Hey, Courtney, can you hand me the towel? Would you be a sweetheart? Thank you. Thank you. Just block the forehead. Thank you. Thank you.
23:18
Caller
Really, really working up the sweat. Come here.
23:21
Drew
Just, oh, oh, my shoulder. I think I kind of, well, you know, you're getting this push-up position for too long. I pinch a nerve. There you go. There you go. Rub it, right? That's good.
23:32
Caller
Yeah.
23:32
Caller
Yeah. Yeah.
23:33
Drew
That's the plan. Right?
23:35
Caller
Oh, yeah.
23:36
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Sarah? Yeah. Who is that? Who is that? Is that Anderson?
23:43
Adam
Anderson.
23:44
Drew
Anderson, those drops are so nonsensical sometimes, or undecipherable.
23:49
Caller
I thought it was a boy, but I was like, oh, God.
23:50
Drew
That's what I thought it was, too. Who is that saying, oh, yeah? Just a guy? All right, you can't do that. It's got to be either, you know, it's got to either be one of the Simpsons or nobody, because I had no idea who that was. Sarah?
24:04
Caller
Yeah.
24:04
Drew
Okay, so what happened?
24:07
Caller
Well, he asked me, and my wife said no, and he said, well, kind of just think about it, okay? And I was like, I was just wondering why he would ask that. It just seems kind of weird to me.
24:15
Drew
Does he like Courtney?
24:17
Caller
Well, no, I don't think so.
24:21
Caller
Is she cute?
24:22
Caller
Huh?
24:22
Caller
Is she cute?
24:23
Caller
Well, no. Well, I'm not going to say she's cute or not, because I'm not that way, but no.
24:29
Caller
No, you don't have to be that way. I mean, you're a girl. I'd say my girlfriend was cute or not. No.
24:36
Adam
You're just learning about males and their sexuality, particularly young males.
24:41
Caller
I was just wondering why.
24:42
Adam
I mean, because it's there. That's why.
24:46
Caller
But she's totally opposite for me.
24:50
Drew
Listen, he's trying to wiggle his way into some sort of threesome.
24:56
Adam
How do you help this young lady understand how to put together?
25:00
Drew
Here's the deal. If you try to judge his behavior based on your sensibilities, it won't make any sense.
25:07
Adam
It won't make sense, right.
25:08
Drew
There you go.
25:09
Adam
He's not operating with the same set of neurons and principles that you are.
25:13
Drew
Well, it's like certain cultures that are very different than you. It's like we worship the cow and we eat the dog. Try to make sense of it. It doesn't make sense. Just don't move there.
25:24
Adam
You can make more sense of that than this.
25:26
Drew
Yeah, you can, but I'm just saying you're not going to go over there and correct everybody. Just don't vacation there and you'll be fine.
25:33
Adam
Right?
25:34
Drew
All right. That was a fine analogy. Ashley.
25:38
Adam
Hello.
25:38
Drew
You're 18. What's up?
25:39
Caller
Yeah. I have a question. I've been with my boyfriend for a lot of year and a half now. He likes to have anal sex and I have no problem with that. I've been doing it, but two days ago I went to a club and I met this guy. I went out with all my friends and I had anal sex with him. Ever since I did now and I'm bleeding.
26:02
I don't know if I'm structure or something.
26:05
Caller
It's really painful and I'm scared to go to the doctor.
26:08
I hate the doctor.
26:09
Drew
Melissa's ass hurts now because of this story.
26:11
Adam
You have to go to the doctor.
26:16
Caller
I'm scared to go to the doctor.
26:17
Adam
You must go.
26:19
Caller
What do you think could be wrong with me?
26:20
Adam
A lot of things could be wrong, but the bleeding can become uncontrolled and can be very dangerous.
26:25
Drew
You went out. You met a guy at the club.
26:28
Caller
Yeah, well, he's my boyfriend. That's why I don't...
26:33
Drew
Well, this isn't exactly cheating. This is a little playful anal sex with a stranger you met at the club.
26:40
Adam
Did he wear condom?
26:42
Caller
Yeah.
26:43
Adam
He wore condom, sure.
26:44
Caller
Yeah, I'm positive.
26:45
Adam
Then it didn't break.
26:46
Caller
No, no, no.
26:48
Drew
Who brought up the anal sex when you met this guy at the club? By the way, hold on a second. I've gone to clubs with some expectations before, but never this high. I've never announced this on my body. I'm going to do some cornhole in the night, boys. I mean, if I got a phone number with five of the right digits, it was a big night, a huge night. Maybe a little making out in the parking lot or something leaned up against the car. Maybe, but anal sex was like, I wasn't even done on me to think about that. What the hell kind of club is this? Ashley? Ashley?
27:27
Caller
Yeah. All right.
27:28
Drew
So whatever you say. I want to know what happened. You met a guy at the club.
27:32
Caller
I met a guy at the club.
27:33
Drew
You thought he was cute.
27:34
Caller
Well, the whole night, he was the first guy that I met and I was dancing with him the whole night.
27:38
Drew
Really working up a sweat down there.
27:41
Caller
Well, he asked me to go back to his place. So I went back there and we had normal sex. And then we just after that had the other kind of sex.
27:49
Drew
Who brought that up? I mean, he must have known something.
27:52
Caller
No, he didn't know anything. He just tried to and I didn't stop him. But I don't know if it was because he was larger than my boyfriend is. I'm just going to go to the doctor because I want my boyfriend to be like, why are you going to the doctor?
28:02
Caller
What's wrong?
28:03
Adam
Whatever happens at the doctor's is completely confidential and not in any way accessible to your boyfriend.
28:10
Drew
Does your boyfriend have to know you're going to the doctor?
28:12
Caller
No, but still...
28:14
Drew
Stop right there, idiot. No, but still. You're scared your boyfriend is going to want to know why you went to the doctor.
28:21
Caller
Well, that and I'm afraid he gets off work all the while and I haven't had sex with him. I'm afraid he has sex with me.
28:26
Caller
Well, when was the last time you had sex with him? Your boyfriend? Three or four years ago.
28:29
Caller
I don't see him.
28:30
Caller
Oh, well, did you have anal sex?
28:32
Caller
Yeah.
28:32
Caller
Look, I'm having this go live. I mean, well, then you can go to the doctor and just say that if you feel like he's going to find out if he does find out, just say, you know, you're checking up because the last time you did it, you've been in pain and you're bleeding.
28:43
Caller
It's that, and then it's because he's going to get off work tonight and he's supposed to come over tonight and I'm afraid that he's going to want to have sex now. What am I supposed to say?
28:50
Drew
No.
28:50
Caller
Hello.
28:51
Drew
Tell him you've got diarrhea. I was going to say you're on your period, and then I thought, well, that's not going to do.
29:00
Caller
Oh my God.
29:01
Drew
I was thinking of the sort of rectal equivalent to being on your period. Hey Ashley, listen screwball. First off, you deserve everything you get. I don't know why we're trying to help you, but don't be stupid. Call your boyfriend right now at work and tell him, listen, I ate something bad, I'm vomiting, I have like 102 temperature, I'm going to sleep right now. The next day, wake up, tell him you feel like hell, and you're going to go in and see the doctor. Okay?
29:30
Caller
Done.
29:31
Adam
What's the doctor going to do?
29:32
Drew
Just shut up and go to the doctor.
29:34
Adam
They're going to go in there and see what's bleeding, and they may have to repair something. We'll see.
29:38
Drew
Okay. Do you understand the sick story?
29:41
Caller
Yeah.
29:41
Drew
Okay. And don't be stupid. Maybe there's a party that wants him to find out.
29:46
Caller
I don't know.
29:48
Drew
There's a party that wants your boyfriend to find out.
29:50
Adam
Ashley, this is one of our tour of duties from Vietnam at 18.
29:54
Drew
Hey, Ashley, honey, what are you doing to yourself? Do you want your boyfriend to find out?
29:59
Caller
No, of course not.
30:00
Drew
Okay. Well, then don't be stupid. Just do the sick thing and go to the doctor, would you?
30:04
Adam
She's already done the sick thing. All right.
30:06
Drew
I don't care.
30:08
Caller
All right.
30:09
Drew
All right. And listen, would you take care of yourself?
30:11
Yeah.
30:12
Drew
What's up with you?
30:13
I don't know.
30:14
Drew
But stop acting out, would you?
30:16
Can't help it.
30:17
Caller
No, you can't.
30:17
Drew
Stop it.
30:18
Caller
Yes, you can.
30:18
Caller
Stop it.
30:19
Drew
And for Christ's sake, don't get pregnant. As a matter of fact, nothing but anal sex from now on, you understand?
30:25
Caller
Uh-huh.
30:25
Caller
You already have kids?
30:27
Caller
Yeah.
30:27
Caller
Yes.
30:28
Drew
You have kids? You don't have two, do you?
30:31
Caller
No.
30:32
Drew
One?
30:32
Caller
Yeah.
30:33
Drew
Okay, come on, honey, that's enough. Take care of them.
30:36
Adam
Start behaving like the mother.
30:38
Caller
Would you, Mommy?
30:40
Caller
Okay.
30:40
Caller
Okay, Mom?
30:41
Drew
I'm going to make you guilt you into Mommy. Mommy, stop it, all right?
30:45
Caller
All right.
30:45
Drew
Take care of your kids. I know someone did something bad to you.
30:49
Adam
For a long time.
30:49
Drew
That doesn't mean you need to do something bad to your kid.
30:52
Adam
You understand me? No, half the bad things continue to be done to you.
30:54
Drew
Jesus Christ. Why can't people put that together? It's going to be the undoing of this country. That's going to be great with the boyfriend, too. Oh, God. Hey, listen. Wait a minute. Okay, I had anal sex with this stranger at the club, but here's the problem. Just hear me out. He was huge, much bigger than you, and I think he may have torn something. Oh, my God. All right. With kids, everybody, you want to know why I'm moving to Canada? That is why. Me and Melissa, right?
31:21
Caller
Yeah. Wow. That hurts. That hurts.
31:24
Drew
All right. We'll take a little break. I'm going to shower, vomit, and kill myself. And we'll be back after this.
31:31
Caller
You have five seconds.
31:32
Drew
Loveline, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew, back in a minute.
31:47
Adam
Hey, this is Dr. Drew.
31:48
Drew
And I'm Adam Corolla. Welcome back to Loveline on America's Rock Station of the Year, 98 KUTD. It is Loveline. I guess tonight is Melissa De Sousa from The Best Man. I think Melissa is slowly falling in love with me.
32:15
Caller
I am.
32:17
Caller
Both of you guys are so cute.
32:18
Melissa De Sousa
Melissa. Wow.
32:20
Adam
He just says it because he's laughing at his jokes.
32:21
Caller
No.
32:22
Caller
You're both cute. You know, your intelligence and your funny.
32:25
Melissa De Sousa
Wow.
32:26
Drew
You hear that?
32:27
Caller
So cute.
32:27
Drew
Which one of us do you like more?
32:29
Caller
Here he goes.
32:29
Caller
Oh, I...
32:30
Caller
Come on.
32:30
Adam
Just say it. Just say it.
32:32
Caller
No, both of you are the same.
32:34
Caller
Same?
32:36
Drew
Now I don't trust that.
32:38
Adam
You trust that, Drew?
32:40
Melissa De Sousa
Really?
32:40
Drew
The same? Don't be diplomatic.
32:41
Melissa De Sousa
Come on.
32:43
Drew
You're gonna make me a little more. I understand. Okay. I'll just... That's fine. The Best Man is in wide release, number one in the theaters a couple weeks ago and number two last week and... Right back up to number one this week. Now, where the hell were we here, Drew? Also, by the way, next week, Donny Osmond will be in here, Dave Navarro will be in here, Our Lady Peace will be in here, and a guy I just saw on TV about an hour and a half ago, Bruno Campos will be here from Jesse.
33:12
Adam
And can you say something disparaging?
33:13
Drew
This good-looking guy was up there.
33:14
Adam
Some of our other crazy friends, so they could show up tonight even?
33:18
Drew
Yeah, that was a weird story. For those of you who missed last night's show, I was talking about David Arquette, and I had not planned on talking about Dave Arquette, although we don't plan on talking about anything when we come in here. It's just things happen to come out. I was saying what a crazy guy David Arquette is, I mean how he's sort of insane. I think I said he was nice. I think I said he was talented.
33:43
Adam
I was defending him, and we agreed that we really like him. He's a great guy.
33:46
Drew
But I said he was nuts.
33:48
Adam
He was nuts. You were talking about him in relation to John Malkovich. What you were asking is John Malkovich may agree that he was nuts too.
33:53
Drew
Right. I was curious how nutty people, you know, most guys can't hold down jobs, much less show up at the set, memorize the lines, hit the mark, play different parts, small town sheriff, you know, that kind of thing.
34:06
Adam
And it went so far as saying, I can say whatever. They sort of, they said, ooh, Adam, calm down. I can say whatever I want.
34:11
Drew
He's so crazy.
34:12
Melissa De Sousa
Couldn't even find his way here.
34:13
Drew
To the studio. Well, and we were sitting here, just like we're sitting here. He walked in the door about five minutes later, right in the studio.
34:21
Melissa De Sousa
Are you kidding me?
34:22
Drew
He just kicked open the door and is standing right there.
34:25
Melissa De Sousa
Yeah.
34:25
Caller
He wasn't supposed to come?
34:26
Melissa De Sousa
No.
34:27
Drew
No way. He drove up the freeway. Just a random person I was talking about.
34:33
Melissa De Sousa
Can you believe that?
34:34
Drew
No, I can't.
34:34
Adam
But yelling at you, standing in the doorway with a screen on.
34:36
Caller
He was yelling at a Jerusalemite.
34:37
Drew
He just opened the door and walked right in. It's like he was hiding in the closet.
34:41
Adam
It was weird. It was bizarre. I'm not sure it was five minutes. It was like, fast forward three minutes. He barely got off the conversation.
34:49
Drew
Yeah, when I say four or five minutes, I mean four or five minutes. I don't have to say 20 minutes. He started talking about him toward the top of the show. And long before we had to go to our first commercial, he came barging in here. So it was a little five minute window there. And it was surreal. I mean, I was dumbfounded. I really was. I'm frightened. Thank God. He's a really, really nice guy. And he's a really gentle guy. And he, thank God, he's got a good set of humor. Well, I didn't say anything too bad about him. Come on, he says he's an artist. I mean, an artiste. Thomas?
35:27
Melissa De Sousa
Yeah.
35:27
Drew
You're 19.
35:29
Caller
Yeah. I really love The Man Show.
35:33
Melissa De Sousa
Good.
35:36
Caller
I got a question for you. I went out with her in school for about six months, and then she woke up with me, and now about five months later, I want to figure out how to go about asking her about her best friend.
35:50
Melissa De Sousa
Oh, who?
35:52
Drew
It's been five months since she broke up with you.
35:54
Caller
Yeah.
35:54
Adam
Do you think it's fair game?
35:55
Drew
Yeah.
35:56
Caller
Five months, sure.
35:57
Drew
And she broke up.
35:58
Caller
Well, in high school, these guys would go out with my best friend the next day.
36:02
Drew
Yeah.
36:02
Adam
That's not good.
36:03
Caller
So you're doing pretty good.
36:04
Adam
But let's be serious, though.
36:06
Drew
Why did you wait five months? Is it one question I have?
36:09
Caller
Well, because I graduated and finally I came back to the...
36:14
Adam
He was in a coma.
36:17
Drew
He was in prison.
36:18
Caller
I graduated and I went back to visit some of the people in my old class. And her friend was there and she was pretty much just like hanging around me, just talking to me like the whole time in class. Okay. All right.
36:30
Drew
So you think she likes you.
36:32
Caller
Yeah.
36:32
Adam
Is she still in high school?
36:34
Caller
No.
36:34
Drew
And you think she likes you and her friend dumped you wasn't as if you broke her friend's heart?
36:42
Caller
No.
36:42
Drew
All right.
36:43
Adam
Fine.
36:43
Drew
Fine.
36:44
Caller
Oh yeah, she broke up with you?
36:45
Caller
Yeah.
36:45
Caller
Oh yeah, you're pretty much in the clear.
36:47
Caller
Yeah.
36:47
Adam
Yeah.
36:48
Drew
Yeah, that's fine.
36:49
Caller
Okay. Go ahead. I just don't want them to get like pissed off at each other.
36:53
Adam
That's their business then.
36:54
Drew
That really is, that is kind of between them. And like I said, it's a big difference between you dumping her and breaking her heart.
37:00
Caller
Exactly.
37:00
Drew
And she breaking over you.
37:02
Caller
That's what happened to me.
37:03
Drew
What happened to you?
37:04
Caller
Well, this guy in high school that was totally in love with, he broke up with me and the next day he was back with this other guy. Adam, Adam, again. Next day at the bus stop.
37:12
Drew
Friend of yours, really?
37:13
Caller
No, it wasn't a friend of mine, but it's just all the same hurt.
37:15
Adam
Where did you grow up?
37:17
Caller
In Queens, New York.
37:18
Drew
What was his name?
37:20
I won't say his name.
37:21
Drew
Come on, he's probably better in jail by now.
37:23
Caller
His name was Lou.
37:25
Drew
Lou.
37:25
Caller
Luis.
37:26
Drew
Not so sweet Lou.
37:27
Caller
No.
37:28
Drew
Yeah. Well, you're big time now.
37:32
Caller
Who's crying his eyes out?
37:33
Caller
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
37:34
Drew
Well, let me see. How old are you?
37:36
Caller
I can't tell you.
37:37
Drew
Well, you're young. You can say it.
37:39
Caller
Yeah, I'm young.
37:39
Caller
Twenty-something.
37:40
Drew
Twenty-something?
37:41
Caller
Yeah.
37:41
Drew
You look early twenties.
37:43
Caller
Oh, thanks.
37:43
Drew
So Lou's probably what? Slinging hash in some diner in Queens somewhere?
37:49
Caller
I don't know. I think it was in Miami, I heard.
37:51
Drew
Miami. Yeah.
37:53
Adam
Except for your drug dealer.
37:55
Caller
Absolutely. Absolutely.
37:57
Drew
The only drug dealer in Miami is not getting laid.
37:59
Adam
That's Lou.
38:00
Drew
Yeah, he's probably fat.
38:00
Caller
And look at you. Look at you now.
38:02
Drew
Linda?
38:03
Caller
Hi.
38:04
Caller
You're twenty.
38:04
Caller
Yeah.
38:05
Adam
What's up?
38:06
Caller
I've been in relationships about five years with the same guy.
38:09
Caller
And he's the one person I've ever slept with. And I had about two weeks ago, I had a pap smear, my heavy pap smear. And on Monday I got a letter saying they have chlamydia.
38:18
Adam
Interesting.
38:19
Caller
And I obviously got it from him.
38:21
Caller
And on Tuesday I went and got treatment for it. And I want to know, you know, I could have had this for two months, I could have had this for almost a year. And I want to know like what kind of effects I'm going to have, and how long is it going to take for the treatment to work.
38:33
Adam
Well, did they give you, what did they give you, tetracycline or azithromax?
38:38
Caller
I don't know, they gave me something to drink. Yeah. I just drank it.
38:40
Adam
Yeah, it's one gram of azithromax. And that's fairly effective at eradicating this.
38:45
Drew
It's petracycline in a pill form.
38:47
Adam
Petracycline can take a couple of weeks. Azithromax just takes one dose and that's it. It's a liquid, it's almost a power, like a coolant.
38:52
Caller
Yeah, it's a power that you can drink with water.
38:54
Drew
Yeah, it's the stuff they took at Johnstown, right?
38:55
Adam
That's right.
38:56
Drew
So why would they give everyone this?
38:59
Adam
They do.
39:00
Drew
They would have choices.
39:00
Adam
I mean, you can do it in the middle of the...
39:01
Drew
I know, but why take the petracycline for three weeks?
39:04
Adam
Oh, if you're worried about other STDs in addition to chlamydia and sometimes people, I've seen doctors do this when they're concerned that there's been a more indolent, low-grade infection that will get people along. Of course, that's an old-fashioned way of doing it, frankly. But the fact is, the main issue here is it can damage the tubes and affect your fertility. And it's something you could have for a long time.
39:22
Drew
All right, so...
39:23
Adam
He needs to be tested, he needs to be treated also.
39:25
Drew
Okay, but she took the stuff.
39:27
Adam
Yeah.
39:27
Drew
All right, we're gonna go to break. I just want to say one thing to one guy. John?
39:32
Melissa De Sousa
Yes.
39:32
Drew
John, you're 20, you're dating a 15-year-old girl?
39:34
Melissa De Sousa
Yes.
39:35
Drew
All right, hang on. Pray you don't get hit by lightning during the commercial break. All right?
39:40
Melissa De Sousa
Well, hold on.
39:41
Drew
We're gonna take a little break, and when we come back, we'll speak to this pig named John who's dating a 15-year-old at the age of 20 after this.
39:50
Caller
Loveline, Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
39:52
Melissa De Sousa
The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.
40:06
This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And are probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.