Episode 1000754887478

3:14 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

3:17 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

3:20 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

3:22 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

3:25 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

3:27 Voiceover Loveline.

3:29 Adam Yes, it is a Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number, 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest from the hit on NBC, 8 o'clock Monday nights, Freaks and Geeks, Busy Phillips is here. That's a good name.

3:54 Busy Philipps Thanks.

3:55 Adam Yeah. That's not your real name though, right?

3:57 Busy Philipps Well, it's not like some cheesy stage name either.

3:59 Adam No.

4:00 Busy Philipps It was a nickname for Elizabeth and it just started when I was about six months old. My parents started calling me Busy Beth, and then it turned into Busy, and it's been that way ever since.

4:12 Adam Yeah. Drew, what do your parents call you? Money Bucket or Money Hole or something like that? They call you something like that? No. Busy plays a part of Kim, who's Daniel's girlfriend on Freaks and Geeks. Freaks and Geeks turned out to be quite a success, hasn't it?

4:32 Busy Philipps It's a surprise to all of us because they started us on Saturday nights and for a while, we were getting all the critical acclaim in the world and none of the viewers. They moved us to Monday nights and we're doing actually really well and I hope people just keep watching it. We're really proud of it.

4:48 Drew We think it's a cool show. They got overridden tonight by a plane crash.

4:51 Busy Philipps Yeah.

4:52 Adam Oh, yeah.

4:53 Busy Philipps Well, I think it's only in LA because my mom, my family all lives in Arizona and so my mom called me, she saw the whole show, but since the crash was out here.

5:02 Adam You know, the thing about that strikes me at Alaska Airlines, a plane go down near, you know, I don't know, off.

5:09 Drew Point Magot.

5:11 Adam Yeah.

5:11 Drew That's sort of near Malibu, basically.

5:13 Adam The point is, is, you know, they're always looking for survivors into the night. And I always just wish one of those guys would just pipe up and go, listen.

5:25 Busy Philipps It's not going to happen.

5:26 Adam It ain't going to happen. And we see the debris field, we see the oil slick. We haven't, we've recovered a couple of bodies. What are the chances that someone just jumped on to an aileron and paddled into shore and then collapsed? One guy? You know what I mean? It just...

5:44 Drew You wash up on shore. Does that work?

5:45 Adam It's sad. In the movies, you wash up on shore.

5:49 Busy Philipps But I like to imagine that's possible. If I was in the plane crash, I would be the one guy that survives through the night.

5:55 Adam I'd be the one guy who died. If all 82 people lived and one died, I'd be that guy. Anyway.

6:05 Drew That's my luck.

6:06 Adam There you go. Well, good. Maybe we'll be on the plane together. Drew and we'll then just flip a coin at that point. Busy also has a film which is, and I can't figure out if this is coming out.

6:18 Busy Philipps It's an independent, so none of us can figure out if it's coming out, I guess, is the real thing of the matter. But it's going to be in the New York International Film Festival on February 7th, I believe, which I can't get off work to go to.

6:32 Adam No, but I'm going.

6:33 Busy Philipps Yeah, but you're there.

6:34 Adam I'm going to see Smokers and then I'm getting right back on a plane.

6:37 Busy Philipps I think it might be in the Santa Barbara Film Festival too, which is coming up.

6:41 Adam Well, that's even closer. I'm going there. Yeah. I don't like to brag, but I was in the number one film a couple of weeks ago, or maybe it was last week.

6:49 Drew Number one what?

6:49 Busy Philipps What was that?

6:51 Adam That Freddie Prinze Jr. film.

6:53 Busy Philipps Down to You?

6:54 Adam Yes, Down to You.

6:55 Drew That was the number one film last week?

6:56 Busy Philipps Yeah.

6:56 Adam Like two weeks ago, or maybe it was last week. I don't know.

6:59 Drew Whatever.

7:00 Adam Yeah. I was in the number one film. All right. Shall we go to the phones? Drew, what place did your film come in? Were you even in a film at all last week?

7:09 Drew I was in a film with you.

7:10 Adam Oh, you were? The Brooke Shields film? Yeah. But that doesn't come out. That's not going to be the number one film.

7:17 Drew You didn't know that till tonight, did you?

7:19 Adam No. You want to know what's even better about me? I found that out a week and a half ago and forgot. I swear to God, people think I'm a pompous ass on this show, and they may be right, but I defy you to find me another DJ. Find me another on-air radio personality who was in the number one film of two weeks ago and did five shows and forgot to say anything. Do you know what I'm saying? I may be an a-hole, but I can't be that full of myself.

7:48 Drew It's an interesting kind of narcissism, isn't it?

7:50 Adam Thank you. I'm so uninterested in everyone else, it even includes myself. Everyone, listen to me. Jessica?

7:57 Yes.

7:58 Adam You're 18? What's up there?

8:02 Caller Well, I moved back to New York recently, and my father's side of the family is here, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure from them to visit my father, who happens to be in prison, and-

8:17 Adam What's he in for?

8:18 Caller For molesting me and my sisters.

8:22 Adam Oh, all right. And your family's giving you a lot of pressure to go visit him?

8:27 Caller Yeah. Well, when I moved back here this summer, that's where all of his family lives, because I used to live here. And so now, ever since I turned 18, and oh, sorry, and ever since I've been back here, they've been talking to me more about it.

8:44 Adam All right, hold on a second. Let's see if that phone clears up. How does that speech go when you're trying to talk the kid into going and visiting the father that molested them in jail? Just do what's right?

8:57 Drew Yeah, he's your dad. He loves you very much.

8:58 Adam He's your dad, come on, blood's thicker than water.

9:01 Drew Oh, my God.

9:03 Adam I don't understand why they're pressuring her. That's probably as bad as being molested.

9:08 Drew I want to know if they're aware that he's in there for what he's in there for.

9:11 Busy Philipps Well, can't they? They have to know. They have to know. Will there be some sort of process?

9:15 Adam No, they're in denial.

9:18 Busy Philipps Like he didn't do it or something.

9:20 Adam Yeah. See, I'm one of these people. I not only think everyone in prison is guilty, I think they're guilty of more stuff than they even got put in there for. I assume they've committed other crimes. The guy's in there for raping two or three chicks. I assume he's raped the entire city block. It's even worse for me. I want them in there longer. I'm not into any of that. Wait, are we on three here? Jessica?

9:41 Caller Yes.

9:41 Adam All right. That's better. Now, this is his family that wants you to go?

9:46 Caller Yes.

9:46 Drew Are they aware of what he's in for?

9:48 Caller Yes.

9:49 Drew Why did you move back to be around these people?

9:52 Caller Well, I wanted to go to college around here.

9:54 Drew Well, why don't you go live in the dorm? Let's stay the hell away from these folks.

9:59 Caller Well, it would still be very close.

10:01 Drew Yeah. You don't have to. Just because they're family doesn't mean you have to be around them. No, no.

10:05 Caller I know. But I mean...

10:08 Adam Don't visit your dad. Go to college.

10:12 Drew Stay away from these people.

10:13 Adam Stay away from his father, his mother.

10:18 Drew That's who they are?

10:20 Caller His uncle, his father.

10:22 Busy Philipps Where's your mom?

10:23 Caller She's in Pennsylvania.

10:25 Drew Isn't she freaked out that this is happening to you?

10:27 Caller She doesn't know. I can't tell her. She's already got post-traumatic stress disorder from this.

10:32 Adam Doesn't? Well, she knows he's in the pokey for doing this, right?

10:36 Caller Yeah. We had a trial, everything.

10:38 Drew What? A trial? I just said a child.

10:40 Caller No, no.

10:41 Sorry.

10:42 Caller But I can't tell her because she'll totally flip out. But right now, I live with his father.

10:49 Busy Philipps Oh, that's not good.

10:51 Caller Yeah. But he's not really doing that much. Right now, it's his uncle which is going to visit him tomorrow. And he called me. He never called me. He called me just to say about that and to keep in mind how next time I could go with him to visit.

11:05 Adam When does he get out?

11:07 Caller I don't know. He's been up for parole and never got it.

11:12 Adam Well, wait a minute. He molested you and your sister? He didn't do anything else?

11:18 Caller No.

11:19 Adam No previous- He's got to have some priors or something, right?

11:23 Caller Like was my mother a salt?

11:27 Adam I mean- Listen, I'm no legal scholar, but I know you molest your own kids. Yeah, you're out in like six months. I mean, come on.

11:37 Drew Well, let's ask her what else there is.

11:39 Adam She doesn't know.

11:40 Drew All right.

11:40 Adam Listen, I don't know why she moved right back into the hornet's nest over there. Drew, please stop whacking that thing like some retarded bandleader with a baton. The point is, I don't know what it is that's within her that drew her back to that. There's something, it's not coincidence that she just happens to be living with dad.

12:02 Drew Grandpa.

12:03 Adam Yeah, meaning his dad. But whatever it is, she's got to get out of there.

12:07 Drew Yeah, just go live in the dorm.

12:08 Adam Alfonso?

12:09 Yeah. Hey, what's up?

12:10 Adam You're 16.

12:11 Caller What's up, I'm Drew. You guys rule. What's up, Busy?

12:15 Drew Hi.

12:15 Caller I have a question for you.

12:16 I was wondering if you were an actual geek or a freak in high school.

12:18 Busy Philipps Yeah, actually, I think I probably leaned more towards the freak side.

12:25 Adam Why?

12:27 Busy Philipps Well, I went to one of those rich upper middle class public high schools in Scottsdale, Arizona where everyone looks like they just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch ad.

12:40 Adam Oh, that's my life.

12:41 Caller Is that a small town?

12:43 Busy Philipps Scottsdale? Not so small. I guess Phoenix is a pretty big city.

12:48 Adam Scottsdale is like the Beverly Hills of Arizona.

12:52 Busy Philipps Yeah, it's pretty nice.

12:53 Adam Arizona in general, isn't it?

12:54 Busy Philipps Pretty much, yeah. And so I kind of had my septum pierced and, yeah, I don't know.

13:01 Adam Really?

13:01 Busy Philipps Yeah. And my friends all had, were like gothic and had crazy pink hair, like my roommate does now.

13:09 Adam So that makes you a freak.

13:11 Busy Philipps Well, yeah, because, you know, I wasn't wearing the gap.

13:14 Adam And Drew, what were you?

13:16 Drew It was a stretch.

13:17 Adam You were what?

13:18 Drew It was a stretch for me. I was a geek.

13:19 Adam You were a geek?

13:20 Drew It was shocking.

13:21 Adam Yeah, tall order. Alfonso?

13:23 Caller Yeah, that's it.

13:24 Caller What were you?

13:26 Caller I'm kind of a jock, but not really.

13:29 Busy Philipps The jocks didn't really like me so much. They started to rumor I was a lesbian because I wouldn't go out with them.

13:34 Caller Yeah, I played football and stuff.

13:36 Adam All right. Why wouldn't you go out with them?

13:39 Busy Philipps I had a boyfriend who was older.

13:41 Adam Oh, really?

13:42 Busy Philipps College.

13:43 Adam Oh, jeez. I hated you girls.

13:45 Busy Philipps Right.

13:45 Adam There's nothing worse than that cute blonde. I mean, Busy's a very cute blonde who had that mysterious boyfriend who was off at some college somewhere. All you knew is he drove a pretty nice car.

13:56 Busy Philipps A Jeep. Yeah, the worst.

14:01 Adam You know what really just screwed it up? Because when I was in 10th grade, I didn't go out with any girls because there's something wrong with me. But other than that, I said, well, listen, you're in 10th grade. You don't go out with girls in the 10th grade because they're going out with seniors and juniors. But when you get to be a junior, you can go out with some 10th graders or something. Then they were going out with high school people. It just sucked.

14:24 Busy Philipps Yeah.

14:24 Adam I want to kill that guy. I hope he's working at some Circle K somewhere and still driving the same jeep.

14:29 Busy Philipps I think he may be, actually.

14:32 Drew I don't know. He was in college dating somebody in high school.

14:35 Busy Philipps Yeah. See, now that I'm older and I'm 20 now, and I'm at college age, whenever I run into guys who are dating high school girls, I'm like, what is your problem?

14:43 Drew That is loser, yes.

14:45 Busy Philipps Yeah.

14:47 Adam Yeah. What were you in, 10th grade?

14:49 Busy Philipps When I started dating him, I was in the 10th grade and he was a senior in high school, and then he graduated and we dated through my school.

14:57 Drew That's not so bad.

14:58 Adam We'll dismiss that one.

14:59 Drew A lot of technicality. You had your nasal septum pierced?

15:02 Busy Philipps Yeah.

15:02 Drew With what?

15:03 Busy Philipps A ring.

15:04 Drew One of those big.

15:05 Busy Philipps Bone rings.

15:06 Drew Bone through the nose thing?

15:07 Busy Philipps No, it wasn't like a bone, it was a little cute thing. It was cute.

15:10 Adam Your parents must have been pissed off.

15:11 Busy Philipps My mom, the only time I've ever heard my mother swear, who's listening and she's going to be upset that I'm even saying this on national radio because it's so embarrassing to her. But yeah, the only time I've heard her swear was.

15:24 Adam Now, I'm not going to, I'll tell you, if I have kids, I'll get away with none of that nonsense.

15:28 Drew I think my kids are going to have to be pierced up.

15:31 Adam Drew's going to get pierced in a pierced hat.

15:33 Busy Philipps The thing of it was, they told me to take it out and I didn't take it out till I realized that by putting something through my nose, I wasn't proving anything to the rest of the world. That just made me look stupid. Anyways, I don't know.

15:44 Adam Jason?

15:45 Caller Yeah.

15:46 Adam You're 18, what's up?

15:48 Caller I want to know if it's possible to be immune to the herpes.

15:52 Adam Absolutely. I don't know. I never heard of it. Have you, Drew?

15:58 Drew What are you describing?

15:59 Caller Well, because my girlfriend always has cold sores, and I know from listening to your show that...

16:04 Drew What do you mean by cold sores?

16:05 Caller Like, you know, cold sores on her mouth, like the average cold sore that you get, like, I don't know, to allergies or something like that.

16:13 Drew Yeah. What do they look like, Jason?

16:14 Adam Well, they look like cold sores in her mouth.

16:16 Drew No, no, no.

16:17 Caller Yeah, like they scab up and stuff.

16:19 Drew They're around her mouth.

16:20 Caller Like, the corners of her mouth.

16:22 Drew Yeah, that might be chelosis. That's not cold sores. Scabbing in the corners of the mouth is not cold sores. That is chelitis or chelosis.

16:30 Caller She doesn't always get them in the corners, but, like, that's mainly where they're at.

16:35 Adam Has she seen anybody about it?

16:38 Caller She's seen a doctor once because she had a breakout of them. I don't know. A family member of hers also had cold sores, so they said that it might have been from that, from, I don't know, a cup or something.

16:50 Drew Maybe. Well, it's possible it's not herpes.

16:52 Adam And you're probably not immune to it, though, Jason.

16:54 Drew Do not expect to be immune.

16:56 Caller Because I've never gotten a cold sore.

16:59 Drew Yeah, consider yourself lucky so far.

17:00 Adam Hey, Jason?

17:01 Drew Yeah?

17:02 Adam I hadn't had a carbuncle on my ass at 18. Since then, I've had two. All right? That doesn't mean anything. Thank you. I'm just trying to turn busy on. You're 18, saying I haven't had something at 18 doesn't mean anything. Right. You're not supposed to have anything at 18. If you have some sort of, if you have some sort of lesion on you at 18, you're probably amongst a minority. You know that great though? It's like, I've been on this earth for a grand 18 years. I've never gotten anything, so I never will. He's probably checking cancer off the list too. Male pattern baldness, check. Cancer, check. Ulcers, check. Cataracts, check. I'm immune to everything, brother. Woo, I'm fit as a fiddle. Sloan?

17:53 Caller Yeah?

17:54 Adam Sloan, you're 17 years old.

17:56 Caller Yup.

17:57 Adam All right, what's up?

17:59 Caller Okay, I took drugs on New Year's and I accidentally hallucinated.

18:05 Busy Philipps What kind of drugs did you take?

18:06 Caller Huh? I took three pills of ecstasy, a Percocet, and I smoked a lot of pot.

18:11 Busy Philipps Whoa, don't you think that's a lot?

18:12 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

18:15 Caller It was New Year's, come on.

18:17 Busy Philipps Three?

18:18 Drew You took multiple heavy hallucinogens, and then you're surprised that you had hallucinations.

18:23 Caller No, no, because I had taken Ecstasy before that, and I hadn't hallucinated, so I wasn't expecting to be, I didn't expect to be hallucinating, but I did.

18:32 Drew Again, you took multiple heavy doses of very powerful hallucinogens.

18:36 Adam Now listen, I'm not gonna, who cares?

18:38 Caller Okay, but-

18:38 Adam What do you want?

18:39 Caller Okay, okay, so I was convinced that one of my really, really good friends was trying to kill me last night, and now whenever I see him, I still think that he's trying to hurt me, and I was just wondering like if there was anything that I could do about it, because this guy was like a really, really, really good friend of mine.

18:57 Drew This is a sign of a disruption of your brain chemistry. Acute paranoias are induced by the biological changes in the brain that these drugs induce, and the fact that it's persisting now that you're off the drug is a very serious sign.

19:13 Caller Really?

19:13 Drew And you need to see a psychiatrist about this to make sure this doesn't become part of a more significant psychiatric syndrome.

19:19 Adam But Sloan, tell us again what you ate, what you ingested.

19:23 Caller Three pills of ecstasy, a Percocet, and I smoked a lot of pot.

19:27 Adam Okay. So you may have a little substance problem there, Toots.

19:31 Well.

19:31 Adam You ever think about that?

19:32 Oh, I don't know.

19:33 Caller I mean, it was...

19:34 Adam I know.

19:35 Busy Philipps It's... Announced New Year's, but you know what? You need to start thinking about maybe...

19:38 Adam It's debatable. Three ecstasy hits a Percocet. Some weed, I mean.

19:43 Drew Your brain can only tolerate so much, and then it starts dysfunctioning. And I suggest you see somebody about it, because you're in trouble.

19:49 Adam Andy?

19:50 Yes.

19:50 Adam You're 17?

19:51 Caller Yes.

19:52 Adam What is that?

19:53 Caller Well, my problem is, my mother calls me racial names. My mother is biracial, and I'm basically black, with about 25% white, and she calls me like black bitch and nigger, things like that. And she's teaching my sister to be racist. My sister's practically white. And I live with my father, I've tried that before, but he's also racist against white people.

20:17 Drew Wow.

20:18 Caller And he's told me that white people's hair smells like dog, and I have white people's hair. And he's poked me in the neck with pens and thrown things at me when I lived there. When I was a baby, he used to stick me with safety pins.

20:31 Drew Oh my god.

20:32 Caller So.

20:32 Adam Hey, Andy?

20:34 Caller Yes.

20:34 Adam You know what my rap name is?

20:36 Caller What?

20:37 Adam Mayonnaise.

20:38 Caller Really?

20:39 Adam Yeah. That's my Maymay mayonnaise. That's Snoop Dogg's. Yeah. It's like a white rap name. Mayonnaise. That's pretty good, right?

20:48 Caller It's okay.

20:49 Adam Okay. So what was the problem?

20:51 Drew Andy, what are you going to do here? Do you have any other?

20:54 Adam I can't figure out what your mom is. And wait a minute, I'm getting a little echo in my head.

20:57 Drew Yeah. What's that all about?

20:58 Adam You got that? What is, what's, how does your mom break down ethnically?

21:03 Caller She's white, black, and Native American.

21:07 Adam So, she's, what does she look like?

21:10 Caller She looks basically white.

21:12 Busy Philipps And she's racist against black people.

21:15 Caller Yes.

21:15 Busy Philipps Right?

21:15 Adam But she, she married your, your father's black, right?

21:18 Caller She didn't marry him. They had, I don't know, a very brief relationship when he was 15.

21:24 Adam So she's probably not nuts about him.

21:27 Caller Oh no, she doesn't like him at all.

21:28 Adam Yeah. Maybe that's what got her going down that path. Now your dad is racist against white people.

21:34 Caller That's right.

21:35 Adam Which is healthy, by the way. I just want to say as a white person, it's okay to hate white people. That's all right. That's not even racist. That's good. That's healthy. He throws things at you and pokes you and stuff. Why do you have to spend time with him? He sounds dangerous.

21:52 Drew He doesn't. The point is the mom is intolerable. She's tried to make it with dad, but he's even worse. So what the hell is she going to do?

21:58 Busy Philipps Do you have a grandparent, somebody else?

22:02 Caller I live with a family friend who's male and he's like 65. She's pwned me off once in a while basically. I've known him all my life and he's basically taken care of me and raised me. He lost a child, so I guess I'm the makeup for that.

22:17 Busy Philipps He's nice to you and he doesn't do anything to you?

22:20 Caller He's nice to me. I have everything in the world. When I'm sick or whatnot, he comforts me when she says things to me. He comforts me.

22:27 Adam Are you living with him now?

22:29 Caller Yes, I am.

22:29 Drew Is she living with him too?

22:31 Caller No.

22:32 Adam Okay, so you're just living with him?

22:33 Caller Right.

22:34 Adam And he's half Puerto Rican, half Gypsy?

22:36 Caller Right.

22:37 Adam He's white. Okay. All right. Does his hair smell like dog? No. I'll cop to that. I do smell a little bit.

22:45 Busy Philipps Mine doesn't.

22:46 Adam Oh, really?

22:47 Busy Philipps No, it smells beautiful.

22:48 Adam Look at that.

22:48 Busy Philipps Flowers.

22:50 Adam She's like the herbal essence lady.

22:51 Busy Philipps Yes, I am.

22:52 Adam A dove came down and put a beautiful crown of lilacs on her head before the show.

22:58 Busy Philipps Yes.

22:59 Adam All right. So, Andy?

23:00 Caller The problem is I don't like black people.

23:04 Drew Can you go away to school or something, Andy? Can you get out of here? Can you get out of that situation?

23:07 Adam No, but you look black, right?

23:10 Caller I am really light with white features.

23:14 Adam Yeah, but do people think you're black?

23:16 Caller They think I'm biracial or have some sort of Mexican thing going on.

23:20 Busy Philipps This is interesting. This is really interesting. So you don't like black people though?

23:26 Adam No.

23:26 Caller When I've had sex with a couple, I usually start crying afterwards.

23:29 Adam Same here.

23:30 Drew But she's been mistreated by her dad.

23:32 Adam Yeah. Listen, listen, Annie, all bets are off because you grew up in this Cuisinart of crap.

23:39 Drew It's not about anybody's color. It's about these being bad people.

23:42 Adam No, these are just bad people.

23:43 Drew Yeah.

23:44 Adam You understand there's bad black people and good white people and all that nonsense. Good white people and bad white people. You know, I'm giving my racial speech here, but the point is-

23:55 Drew It's good and bad in all races.

23:57 Adam You have a bad white mother and you have a bad black father.

24:04 Adam A good white older guy, Uncle Charlie, taking care of you as long as he's not touching you.

24:10 Drew I think he sounds okay. We don't believe it.

24:12 Adam You don't believe it? I believe it.

24:14 Drew I believe it. What's he doing around these people?

24:16 Adam Who knows? I don't know. There's another little daughter. Listen, when I'm in charge, this woman will be sterilized. Not that Andy, but her mother. She's banging out kids, screwing them all up. Okay.

24:32 Drew All right. By the way, she's 30.

24:34 Adam Who? The mom. Oh, really?

24:36 Busy Philipps The mom's 30.

24:36 Or 33.

24:38 Adam Perfect. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, who are we going to speak to there, Drew?

24:42 Drew Kelly.

24:43 Adam Kelly is 20, has dreams about sexual abuse. Come on. Yeah, get something like big busted call or something.

24:51 Busy Philipps Oh, God.

24:52 Adam Bill is 17. He's having sex with his girlfriend's mom.

24:56 Busy Philipps Oh, man. Don't buy it.

24:58 Adam I don't buy it either. Do you buy it, Drew? That is the number one BS call we get on the show.

25:03 Drew We've had it real once. Remember? Remember that one guy who was watching TV or something?

25:08 Adam Right. All right. I'm willing to believe.

25:10 Drew We'll check it out.

25:11 Adam Busy Phillips is here from Freaks and Geeks. We'll be back and see if we bind to Bill's story after this. It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew, Busy Philipps is here from Freaks and Geeks, Monday Nights, 8 o'clock, NBC. She plays Kim, she is Daniel's girlfriend.

26:03 Busy Philipps I'm more than Daniel's girlfriend. Can I just say that? I stand on my own.

26:07 Adam Yeah, I'm just trying to give people a point of reference.

26:10 Busy Philipps I'm the blonde girl.

26:11 Adam So they can place you.

26:11 Busy Philipps That's mean.

26:12 Adam She's the good looking, mean blonde. She also, well, got this movie called Smokers, it's at the New York Film Festival in Santa Barbara and no place in between. So you're one of those. But we're on in both those places. So if you're there, go check out Smokers. Bill?

26:32 Caller Yeah.

26:33 Adam Hello?

26:34 Drew All right.

26:35 Adam Bill, you're having sex with your girlfriend's mom?

26:37 Drew You guys are right.

26:38 Caller Actually, three different times I did.

26:40 Adam Three times?

26:41 Caller Yeah. But the thing is, I need to know how to tell my girlfriend.

26:46 Adam What's her name?

26:47 Caller My girlfriend or her mom?

26:48 Adam Her mom.

26:49 Caller Her mom's name is Kaitlyn.

26:53 Drew Hello?

26:54 Busy Philipps How old is she?

26:57 Drew The mom is thirty-six?

26:58 Caller Yeah.

26:59 Adam How old is the girlfriend?

27:00 Caller Sixteen.

27:02 Adam Uh-huh. And what room do you have sex in?

27:06 Caller Her bedroom.

27:08 Adam Her bedroom.

27:08 Caller Well, the first time was actually in her daughter's bedroom. Oh.

27:12 Adam And is her daughter your girlfriend?

27:14 Caller Yes.

27:15 Adam And where's the husband? Where's dad?

27:18 Caller He's been out of the picture for a while.

27:20 Mm-hmm.

27:21 Adam And how did this happen that you two got hooked up?

27:24 Caller Well, okay, I went over there one day after school, expecting to see my girlfriend, and she was sitting on her bed in a black teddy, and I don't know really what happened after that.

27:40 Adam Yeah. I don't know. Sounds like BS, Bill. Sorry.

27:43 Drew Yeah.

27:44 Adam We don't believe you.

27:44 Drew Yeah. People know what happened. They can tell you what the hell, each second that passed leading up to something like that.

27:51 Adam Plus, where's the girlfriend then? You know, there's just a lot of these stories where, well, my husband came home from work, and found me getting it on with another guy, and it's like, doesn't he always come home from work at the same time? I mean, yeah, and the front door was open. You know what I mean? All right, I don't buy it. She's in a black teddy. I don't buy it.

28:16 All right.

28:17 Adam Jamie?

28:18 Yeah.

28:18 Adam You're 26?

28:19 Caller Yes, I am.

28:20 Adam Just in case it's true, stop banging your girlfriend's mom.

28:23 Drew And get away from both of them.

28:24 Adam Leave.

28:25 Drew Leave, leave, leave.

28:25 Adam There you go. We're covered now. Jamie, you're 26.

28:27 Drew What's up?

28:29 Caller First of all, I want to say to both of you that I think you guys are wonderful, both individually and together, and I love your show.

28:35 Adam Thanks, although Drew doesn't do anything apart from me. I have other projects, but thank you.

28:40 Caller And I'm very nervous right now, actually. I'm kind of fearful for my, I don't know how to say it without sounding corny, but I am kind of fearful for my life right now. I'm very self-destructive, and I'm an alcoholic and a marijuana addict, and I've been using both since I was 14, 26 now.

29:02 Drew If you had any recovery in all that time?

29:04 Caller Yeah, two years I had.

29:06 Drew When was that?

29:08 Caller That was between 95 and 97.

29:11 Drew Okay. And what motivated that?

29:15 Caller I thought that I was going to die any day. I just was completely at the end of my rope.

29:21 Drew Are you there again?

29:23 Caller Not quite.

29:24 Adam All right. Well, give us some time.

29:27 Caller But I mean, it's kind of more of a slow, methodical thing now. I mean, every day, I don't know quite how to explain it. Like I've been in and out of the program since I relapsed.

29:43 Adam Do you have an eating disorder as well?

29:45 Caller Yeah. That was the other thing I wanted to talk about. That I developed an eating disorder in my late teens, and that went on through my early 20s for a couple of years. When I entered AA the first time, it just kind of went away. I never really addressed the eating disorder necessarily directly.

30:05 Adam All right. So what's causing all this? Something bad happened to you?

30:09 Drew Sexual abuse.

30:11 Adam Sexual abuse?

30:13 Caller I was raped when I was 19, but physical abuse by my dad.

30:19 Adam That's better.

30:20 Caller Yeah. He was pretty abusive, really, like the first 22 years of my life.

30:26 Adam Well, those aren't the important 22. The important 22 are the last 22, usually from like 62 to 84. Aren't those what they call the formative years?

30:34 Drew Yes, indeed.

30:35 Adam Okay. So you're all right.

30:37 Caller Well, in the last month, I started to have more recurrences of my bulimia.

30:43 Adam All right. Well, it's time to do something.

30:45 Drew Jamie, there's multiple sort of issues here. One is addiction. As you know, that's a very life-threatening problem, and you've described it yourself as something which is threatening your life at this time. You've had success in recovery. You know what you need to do to get better. You need to take care of that problem. Secondly, your eating disorder, last time you got meaningfully engaged in recovery, magically those symptoms went away too. So indeed, those symptoms may subside and perhaps can be dealt with less urgently than the addiction problem. But you got to get back in recovery. You got to get detox. You got to want to get well. You've got to find that resource somewhere.

31:21 Adam All right. David.

31:22 Drew Yes.

31:23 Adam You're 28. What's up?

31:25 Caller I have a big problem. I'm trying to solve it and I don't know if I should go to see any medical help for this treatment. I need. I know I need. Well, about four years back, I got drunk, really bad, puked up, became a bulimic, and lost about 100 pounds. I was 28.

31:43 Drew You developed persistent vomiting after discovering vomiting after?

31:47 Caller Well, I got so badly sick that I puked for four days straight. And what happened is I found out after I did puke, it kind of like still retained a feeling of eating or fullness in it. But what happened is I started working out. I was 285 pounds. I lost 100 pounds in less than probably about six months. I became aware of my sexuality. I started, women were looking at me different than what I never had before. And I became very much a sex addict. I mean, to the point where, I mean, I was, I loved sex before, but now it's two times a day. And what happened is I was dating this girl and I messed around with her two times. She found out. She took me back. For some reason, I married her. I thought I loved her. And that was six months ago. And I've been sexually active with several other people. And it's really pretty bad. I'm even, I'm with my ex too.

32:48 Adam How long ago did you lose the weight?

32:50 Caller About four years ago.

32:51 Adam Wow.

32:52 Caller Married? Yeah.

32:53 Adam Hey, listen. Never get married after you lose 100 pounds in a right smack dab in the middle of a sexual tour. Yeah. You get married after you pack on 100 pounds, then you pack another 100 on after the wedding.

33:07 Caller Well, my question is, also I do, since I am, I have my eating disorder.

33:13 Drew You're an addict, David. You're all through and through, right?

33:16 Caller Well, I'm bipolar. I'm bipolar and plus, I have this thing where like I smoke, I could smoke for five months and quit suddenly without thinking. I just change constantly. I'm constantly changing.

33:28 Drew Why aren't you having your bipolarity treated? This may all be part of a manic episode.

33:32 Caller Well, but I had never had it diagnosed. I don't know where I could go.

33:37 Drew Who gave you that diagnosis?

33:39 Caller Myself. After looking at it and I'm hearing you guys.

33:42 Adam Hey, listen, you're a bulimic sex addict. You think you're qualified to pass down those kinds of diagnoses? Please, you goofball. What do you do for a living? Diesel mechanic.

33:53 Caller No, no, I have a professional job.

33:56 Adam Professional diesel mechanic.

33:57 Caller No, I'm not.

33:58 Adam All right. Listen, David, I can hear it in your voice. You're all over the place. Well, you got to get a little help.

34:04 Drew And it might be the bipolarity, but it may be addiction. It may be. I don't know what the primary issue is here.

34:09 Caller That's my problem, too. With my ex-relationships, I've been married once before, had the ex, went for about four years, and then been married now. And it's just, I'm constantly moving. I'm always changing, everything like that. And it's, I mean, I don't know.

34:23 Adam David, you should have a cologne named after you. You know, you're ever evolving.

34:27 Caller Constantly changing.

34:28 Adam You call him Suck.

34:29 Caller I do, I do. I mean, it irritates me because I'm constantly doing something. Yeah. I never stop.

34:36 Adam All right, listen, you need to go talk to a psychiatrist and see what's up. You may need some meds or something. In the meantime, be nice to your wife and try not to have sex with any strangers.

34:47 Caller I'm trying to, but it's very hard.

34:48 Drew Go get treatment, David. Please, please, please.

34:51 Adam I'm always amazed at the women that will hold still for these guys long enough to get on top of them.

34:55 Drew Where were they for you? Just think, they're with those guys.

34:59 Adam They cannot be quality trim. They just can't be. I'm just picturing. I mean, they must be scraping these women up from bathrooms at bus stops or something. I can't imagine.

35:08 Busy Philipps Maybe not.

35:09 Adam These men are so unattractive. Come on.

35:12 Busy Philipps Yeah, but women, I don't know, I just in my experience, it's always that thing about like women kind of certain women flock to men that treat them poorly.

35:22 Adam Well, I treat women poorly.

35:25 Busy Philipps So? You know?

35:26 Drew He's available for poor treatment. Asshole.

35:31 Adam Well, I do it in a more cancerous kind of way. It's not in a big, loud, theatrical, very pernicious. Sort of cat on a hot tin roof kind of way. I'm just, it's a slow grind with me. I don't think it's quite as excited. It doesn't attract those kinds.

35:48 Drew All right. David didn't, well, I guess he is treating his wife badly.

35:52 Busy Philipps Cheating on her?

35:52 Drew Yeah.

35:53 Adam He's doing a lot of cheating.

35:54 Drew I was thinking more in terms of-

35:55 Busy Philipps Abuse?

35:56 Drew Face-to-face abuse, but you're right.

35:58 Adam All right. I think he needs to talk to a psychiatrist and see about some meds or something.

36:03 Busy Philipps If people don't know where-

36:04 Drew He needs a diagnosis.

36:06 Busy Philipps But people like that, he sounded like he doesn't even know where to begin to get a psychiatrist.

36:12 Drew He was able to come to a conclusion of what his diagnosis was and research that. He just has to go to his family doctor or go to any primary care clinic or a university.

36:22 Adam He's a professional.

36:24 Busy Philipps Yeah, he's a professional.

36:26 Adam Ryan?

36:27 Yeah.

36:27 Adam You're 15?

36:28 Caller Yeah.

36:28 Adam What's up?

36:31 Caller My girlfriend wanted me to shave the sides of my pubic hair because there's just really a lot of it. So I did it and now I have a razor burn, red dots and stuff. I don't know how to get rid of it.

36:42 Busy Philipps That'll happen.

36:43 Adam What do you mean the sides?

36:45 Caller Just by my hip area, right below my hip. Yikes. Your hip.

36:51 Adam Like a bikini wax?

36:53 Caller A lot of my pubic hair area. I'm trying to trim it.

36:57 Busy Philipps A lot of it.

36:58 Adam Yeah. You shouldn't get a razor out in that area. Not if you're a lad. The ladies have to do it. What are you going to do with society?

37:07 Busy Philipps I've heard a lot of guys that say that they do this.

37:09 Adam A lot of gay guys get the razor out?

37:12 Busy Philipps No, not necessarily.

37:13 Caller Yeah, I know a lot of people shave all of it, too.

37:15 Adam Listen, there are those guys who shave their chest and their back and they get the razor out.

37:21 Busy Philipps The wax.

37:22 Adam There's nothing wrong with a little pruning every once in a while, but if you're getting the shave cream out, you're either gay or you're gay and you don't know it. There's a lot of gay guys don't know it. I can spot them. They don't know it.

37:33 Drew Is there anybody in the media that you would like to enlighten us about?

37:37 Adam Here's the kind of guys there are. There's the gay guys who are into just blowing guys and stuff, and then there are the guys who are idiot gay. The guys who dress alike, shave themselves, spend a little too much time at the tan salon, wear a little too much jewelry, drive around in jeep.

37:56 Busy Philipps The uniform.

37:57 Adam With big dogs hanging out of it. These are the guys who like you to know that they're doing something. So they put the ski racks or the snowboard rack on top of the jeep. They have mountain. Here's the kind of guys that drive me nuts. They have the truck, and then they have the mountain bike. They got $400 worth of mountain bike rack on top of the truck. I'm thinking to myself, listen Dick Weed, the reason you have a truck is you can throw the bike in the back of the goddamn truck. I don't need to look at your $1,500 mountain bike on the $400 rack, and you're not even going anywhere, brother. You're doing circles around the park and that thing trying to get laid. I don't trust any guys that advertise. Drives me nuts. I think they're all gay, or at least there's something wrong with them. At least, at the very minimum. I'll decide who's gay.

38:48 Drew So people that are gay have something wrong with them?

38:50 Adam Yeah. Oh, yes. Come on.

38:52 Caller Come on.

38:54 Adam It's not bad. I mean, it's fun. I wish more guys were gay, but come on.

38:58 Caller You wish you were gay.

38:59 Drew You know something. Let's be real.

39:01 Adam I really do.

39:02 Drew I know.

39:02 Adam I absolutely do. I wish I was. Listen, I either wish I was gay or like fat chicks. Those are the two things I wish I was. One or the other. The world would be my oyster. Do you know what I would? If I was gay, I'd be living with ten guys, pulling some daisy chain right now. It'd be great. I'd be living with my friends.

39:23 Drew Daytime, you'd be flying airplanes.

39:25 Adam I'd be hanging out at the park. It'd be great recycling and driving a convertible. It'd be great going to these bath houses and all the botchery that goes on there.

39:36 Drew I think it must be less painful your life would be.

39:38 Adam It'd be great. Or if I just like the fat chicks, it'd be easy pickings. I get laid every night. The world would be my oyster. One or the other. Those are the two things. Drew, is there an operation that can either turn me gay or get me into the fat women?

39:53 Drew We can just keep working on you till you grind on down to your real sexual orientation.

39:57 Adam What direction you think would be most promising for me at this point? The fat women or the gay?

40:03 Drew I think gay.

40:04 Adam You think gay?

40:04 Drew Yeah, I really do.

40:05 Adam Because it's time to sort of have to pick a path and go down it.

40:08 Drew You've spoken of it so wistfully for so many years now. Right.

40:12 Adam You know I'm trying. That's why.

40:15 Drew I saw you with a flirty handful of chiffon one time.

40:19 Adam What was that? Listen, I love my male friends. I love guys. And I really I wish I could.

40:24 Drew And you hate women.

40:25 Adam I hate women. I love guys. And I wish I could just live with them and have sex with them. I really do.

40:33 Drew Yeah.

40:33 Adam I blew this guy once and he nailed me in the ass. Drew, you'd be first on my list, by the way.

40:39 Drew For what?

40:42 Adam Oh, you know, the conversation I was having, I think I was my buddy Ray, you know, in my hypothetical gay conversation.

40:51 Drew The ones you have every day?

40:52 Adam Yeah. The ones we have on the air, which is how I think we're talking about this a couple of weeks ago, how women can be attracted to one woman.

41:01 Drew Oh, right.

41:02 Adam And be really into that one woman. And not lesbian and they're not even bi. It's just that Sheila is sexy and beautiful and graceful. And I'll tell you, I'm a glass of red wine away from doing something with her. That's how women have like one woman who they can be attracted to or something. And it's funny because we're talking about how guys, I was talking to Ray about this, how guys, it's not like, listen, I ain't queer and I ain't gay and I don't like guys all, but Stu, I would blow. Stu was hot. He's very graceful. Have you seen Stu move? Like, he floats like a butterfly, that's Stu.

41:39 Drew That's how he makes you feel.

41:40 Adam Yeah, and he makes me feel good about, Stu makes me feel good about myself. I'm not gay, I'd blow Stu. No, there's not a guy in the world that would do it. Once you blow Stu, you blow everyone. That's the way it works. Okay, we're going to take a little break. Busy Phillips is here from Freaks and Geeks and-

41:58 Drew Give a shout out to Busy's mom while you're at it.

42:00 Adam Oh, and Busy's mom, she's listening in a Scottsdale. Yeah. All right, we'll be back after this.

42:06 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:08 Adam Back in a minute. Well, it's worth hearing. It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Busy Phillips is here from Freaks and Geeks, Monday Nights, 8 o'clock, NBC. And during the break, Drew, my other male lovers besides you called?

42:54 Drew Which, Daniel or Jimmy?

42:55 Adam Daniel and Jimmy.

42:56 Drew Are they together?

42:57 Adam They're together. Are you jealous?

42:58 Drew Are you okay?

42:59 Adam No, it's all right. We share. We share.

43:02 Drew What?

43:02 Adam They were outraged that I said you would be my first male partner.

43:05 Drew I imagine that.

43:06 Adam Yeah, they were hurt.

43:07 Drew Yeah, I bet. Of course, you were kidding.

43:10 Adam I tried to explain that to them, but you tried to tell a couple of guys who are just coming home from a hockey game and have a few beers in them that you ain't going to be their first male lover. You know what I'm saying? They're outraged and I just want to, I know I don't get serious on this show that often. I don't want to bring the show down, but I want to apologize to Daniel and Jimmy for suggesting that I would sodomize Drew first before them. And I hope you're listening. And I just want you to know I mean it. Okay. Let's get on with the show. Okay?

43:48 Drew You all right?

43:49 Adam Yeah. Drew, you take this call.

43:51 Drew I'll talk to Jimmy and then to Kelly. They'll talk to them off the air.

43:54 Adam Yeah.

43:55 Okay.

43:56 Drew Kelly.

43:56 Caller All right.

43:56 Hi, Kelly. Hi.

43:58 Drew Yeah.

43:58 Caller Okay.

43:59 Adam You're 20. Let's do the show now.

44:02 Drew Okay.

44:02 Caller What's going on?

44:06 Well, I've been having... Actually, I have a question. I just... I want to know if there was sexual abuse in my past, and I'm really unclear about a lot of things. My memory seems to have gone. I'm having a lot of dreams lately about abuse.

44:24 Drew What age is your memory's sort of failure?

44:27 Oh, it's never been good.

44:28 Drew Before what age can you recall?

44:32 Adam Six.

44:32 Drew Six is the oldest... the youngest memory you have is age six.

44:36 No, no. I can remember back before six really clearly, and then everything past that I can remember a lot of certain things, and then certain other things, they sort of fade in and out.

44:48 Adam All right. Well, let me just make sure I know what you're saying. Before six, you remember things very clearly. Then after six, you remember some things. And then in between six and whatever age you are now, there's some stuff you remember, but in and out.

45:00 Drew Yeah.

45:00 Adam All right. Well, that...

45:02 Drew Are we all clear about that?

45:03 Adam Yeah. That's 100% molestation. That's what that recipe spells for me. Yeah. There could be no other... You could arrive at no other point than molestation at that. Because again, you remembered some things before six, and then a lot of stuff after six, and then some stuff in between. Yes. All right. So, molested. Now, I would say she wouldn't have been molested, except for she called this show, and everyone who calls this show either has been abused or will be molested at some time. Kelly?

45:35 Yes.

45:35 Adam All right. So, here's what we're trying to say. When would you have been molested, and what period of your life don't you remember that you could have been molested in?

45:47 Caller From six till probably about 12.

45:52 Drew So, that six year period your memories are vague?

45:55 Caller Well, you know, they're...

45:56 Drew Ah, ah, ah, ah, wait. Are they vague?

45:59 Caller Yeah, they're...

45:59 Drew Okay, stop, stop. So, there's a sense that something happened during those six years?

46:04 Caller There was a lot of physical abuse. I know that for sure. I can remember vividly physical abuse.

46:09 Drew During that period?

46:11 Caller During my entire period, until I was 17, I moved out.

46:14 Drew Zero to 17.

46:16 Adam All right, Kelly, that's reason enough to seek some help.

46:20 Drew And to have weird dreams too.

46:21 Adam And to have weird dreams and whether you were molested or not is almost moot at this point.

46:26 Drew You've been abused. You've been abused and severely abused. That's enough.

46:30 Adam Right.

46:30 Drew That's enough.

46:30 Adam So, what should she do?

46:32 Drew Treatment.

46:33 Adam Where?

46:34 Drew You know, we need to get a survivor's abuse either hotline or referral source of some type.

46:40 Busy Philipps Does she go to college?

46:42 Adam Let me see. I'm going with no. Kelly?

46:46 Caller Yeah.

46:46 Adam What do you do?

46:48 Caller I'm a professional.

46:50 Adam Professional. What?

46:51 Caller Technology.

46:52 Adam Technology professional.

46:54 Caller Yeah.

46:54 Adam All right. Do you have health insurance?

46:55 Drew Wouldn't that be a garbage collector?

46:57 Adam Yeah. Can you get some therapy?

47:00 Caller Yeah, I can and I have been.

47:02 Adam Okay.

47:03 Caller I've worked through a lot of the physical abuse problems. Yeah. I've been actually, I was in therapy for a little while and I was molested by my therapist.

47:12 Adam Whoa. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

47:16 Caller I have some obvious reservations. When I'm having sex, a lot of feelings come up.

47:25 Drew So we would predict.

47:26 Adam Wait a minute. How old were you when your therapist molested you?

47:30 Caller I was 19.

47:33 Adam Hey, I don't know. Is that molested? When is it? That's not even molested at a certain point.

47:39 Drew It's abuse, inappropriate sexual content.

47:41 Adam How did that work, by the way? I'm going to see my therapist tomorrow morning, by the way. So I'm going to wear two pair of underpants. I'm nervous. How did that work, that you had sex with your therapist?

47:54 Caller No, no, I didn't have sex with him.

47:57 Adam Oh, I see. You were just molested.

47:58 Caller I was sitting in the chair and we were doing some exercises, and he started running his hand over my breast.

48:05 Adam Would that be a physical therapist?

48:07 Caller No, no, no. A counselor.

48:10 Adam A counselor?

48:11 Busy Philipps Like relaxation exercises? Is that what you're talking about he had you doing?

48:16 Caller Something like that.

48:16 Busy Philipps Something like that?

48:17 Caller Yeah.

48:18 Busy Philipps It's sketchy.

48:19 Adam So he started rubbing on you, and then what did you do?

48:22 Caller I told him I thought it was inappropriate, and then I didn't go see him anymore.

48:27 Adam Okay. Well, listen, not all therapists molest, probably less than 60% these days. So the chances of you finding another one is slim to none. You really, Kelly, listen, Kelly, we don't got time to get into all of it. You were physically abused for a long time. There's a lot of issues floating around. You're professional, you make some money, you have some insurance, go get some therapy and work it out. I mean, that's it. There's nothing else you can do. And listen everybody, I know everyone in the world has got an excuse, but we've all had bad everything in our lives. I mean, we've had bad mechanics and bad school teachers and we've run into bad people at the ticket window at the airlines. We've ran into bad people everywhere. But you don't stop taking cabs because one cab driver was an a-hole, you know what I mean? You gotta be smarter than that. You understand there's a million therapists out there. This guy was out of line. But that's not an excuse when you're 20 and you're a professional. You have to be able to get a little distance and go as, you know... Are you guys with me?

49:35 Drew I'm with you.

49:35 Adam Okay. Yeah. We're gonna take a break. We'll be back.

49:40 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. 1-800-LOVE-1-91. We'll be right back.

50:09 Adam It's Loveline. We're going to take our traditional 10-second timeout at the top of the hour, and we'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

50:17 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

50:32 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Busy Phillips is our guest tonight. She is in Freaks and Geeks, and she's much more than Kim Damien's girlfriend. And Freaks and Geeks can be found Monday night, 8 o'clock on NBC. Also, you can find her in Smokers, which is like an independent film. You doing any more movies?

50:58 Busy Philipps I don't know. I'm working on it. Our hiatus is coming up. So if you want to give me a job, please call in.

51:03 Adam Yeah, I'll put you to work.

51:04 Busy Philipps Right. Maybe I can get in the number one movie.

51:07 Adam Well, I was talking about around the house. And then, you know, I mean, we'll see how that works out.

51:12 Busy Philipps Okay.

51:13 Adam You know, see how your attitude is.

51:14 Busy Philipps All right. All right.

51:15 Adam How strong your back is. And then we'll move on from there. Like to establish someone has a good work ethic before I put them in a great work ethic. Well, we'll see, won't we?

51:25 Busy Philipps Yeah.

51:25 Adam Jennifer?

51:26 Yeah.

51:27 Adam You're 21.

51:28 Caller Hi.

51:29 Adam Hey.

51:29 Caller How's it going?

51:30 Adam Good. What's up?

51:31 Caller Okay. I have a question for you. It's right now I'm feeling really nauseous. I've been puking and I have a slight fever. And I always feel kind of nauseous before I have, before I get my period. And I'm wondering if this is kind of a normal premenstrual thing.

51:49 Drew You get a temperature before each period?

51:51 Caller No, no, this is kind of like a first time. But I mean, it's usually, it's kind of slight.

51:56 Drew How high is your temperature?

51:58 Caller It's not, it's like 99.1.

52:00 Adam Well, you better sit in a bucket of ice and call an ambulance. You got to bring that temperature down.

52:06 Caller I know, I know. It's pretty hideous.

52:08 Drew Yeah, I don't really call that a temperature yet.

52:11 Caller Well, my normal temperature is usually about 97.

52:14 Drew You know what?

52:14 Adam Hold on a second. You know what your normal temperature usually is?

52:18 Caller Because I'm always cold.

52:19 Adam You got a problem.

52:21 Drew The problem is that you're taking your temperature all the time.

52:23 Adam Yeah, I know. I'm between 85 and 105. That's all I know.

52:27 Drew By the way, for everybody out there, patients pull this stuff on me all the time. Normally, my temperature is 96, but today it's 98. I have a temperature. It's not defined by how far it is from your baseline. It's defined as an absolute value. It's not over 99.5. You don't have fever.

52:43 Adam Is it 98.7 or something like that?

52:45 Drew It doesn't matter. That's average, average 98.6. But if your normal is 98.2, that's your normal. That's fine. That's fine. But you don't have a temperature at 98.8.

52:54 Adam All right. So why are you a hypochondriac, Jennifer?

52:57 Caller I'm not a hypochondriac. I can't even hold anything down in my stomach.

53:01 Drew Well, if you feel like something different is going on this time, obviously you need that worked up. Could be a urinary tract infection, could be anything.

53:08 Adam Didn't you say you got nauseous before your period?

53:11 Caller Yeah.

53:12 Adam I know. But then Drew said you're nauseous before your period and you said this first time it's happened.

53:16 Drew No temperature.

53:17 Caller No, no, no, the first time I got nauseous.

53:18 Adam But you always feel nauseated.

53:19 Caller Yeah.

53:20 Drew Do you take anything before?

53:21 Caller The first time I actually vomited.

53:22 Drew Do you take any medicines before your period?

53:24 No.

53:24 Busy Philipps Are you on the pill?

53:26 No.

53:26 Adam You're a nervous person? No. But anyone who knows what their temperature is, I don't know.

53:32 Caller No, I'm always, this is Minnesota, you know if you're cold constantly.

53:36 Drew Yeah, being cold constantly doesn't mean you then go run in and take your temperature.

53:39 Caller No, but-

53:41 Busy Philipps Were you just kind of guessing that that was your temperature average? Were you just guessing that?

53:45 Caller I was just kind of guessing. I had-

53:48 Busy Philipps You don't really know.

53:50 Caller It's usually below normal.

53:52 Busy Philipps You think it's below normal, but you don't know.

53:54 Caller I don't. I know for a fact that it is, because any time I-

53:58 Busy Philipps Just because you feel cold a lot.

54:00 Adam All right, well that's it. You probably have a week or so to live.

54:02 Caller Forget it. Forget about it.

54:04 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Forget it. Let's go to bed. Take some mitols at the sack.

54:08 Busy Philipps Maybe she's got the flu.

54:10 Drew Okay. She could have a viral gastroenteritis. She could have a urinary tract infection.

54:13 Busy Philipps Go to the doctor.

54:14 Drew And she could have no fever. And this could be just part of her P-menstrual syndrome, which includes nausea for her. We're guessing.

54:20 Adam I don't even take my temperature, because either I feel sick or I don't. It's sort of moot to me. I mean, I don't need to calibrate it.

54:29 Drew Yeah, sometimes we do.

54:30 Adam Well, yeah, if I think I'm on fire or something, I'd take it, but...

54:33 Busy Philipps I start hallucinating when I get really high fevers.

54:35 Adam Yeah.

54:36 Drew What do you see?

54:38 Busy Philipps Well, I haven't had one for a really long time, but the last time I had it, I was like a freshman in high school, and I thought that it was more like a paranoia than hallucination, but I thought that the whole house was filled with murderers.

54:50 Drew It was delusion, yeah.

54:51 Busy Philipps Yeah. And then another one, this is really weird, but it's like an infamous story.

54:55 Drew It says something about her baseline mental status.

54:57 Busy Philipps Yes. No, it doesn't. Another time, I think it was right after Jurassic Park came out or something, because I thought I was a dinosaur. It's this infamous story in my family. I was running around my house like-

55:10 Drew You thought you were a dinosaur?

55:11 Busy Philipps I thought I was a dinosaur.

55:13 Drew Okay, Adam, let's go. Here we are.

55:16 Busy Philipps It was a high fever. It was really high fever. I had mono.

55:19 Drew Everybody experiences that.

55:20 Busy Philipps I'm perfectly normal.

55:21 Adam I'm older than you, but I had a high, how old were you? You were like 15 or something?

55:26 Busy Philipps Yeah, 14 or 15.

55:27 Adam I was like 14, 15. I had a very high temperature, but pippy lung stocking had just hit the theater. That was not only embarrassing for me, but for the family. It lasted for months. It wasn't with a fever broke in a day, but the pippy lung, the ponytails and the high stockings, those stayed.

55:46 Busy Philipps It didn't last very long.

55:48 Adam Okay. You thought you're a dinosaur. Nicole?

55:52 Yeah.

55:53 Adam You're 16?

55:54 Caller Yeah.

55:55 Adam What's up?

55:55 All right. I recently found out that my dad smokes weed, but he doesn't know that I know, because I can smell it, and I can tell that he's high. The other day, I was in his room, and I saw like a joint, and he drinks like every day other than this, and I want to confront him.

56:11 Drew Why don't you go to Allateen first?

56:14 Go to what?

56:14 Drew Allateen.

56:16 Caller What's that?

56:17 Drew It's a co-dependency program. It's an organization that's designed to help young people who have parents who are addicts. And you work a program just like an addict would work, and you sort of get a little sense of detachment from the relationships. You have some support there with people who have been through what you're going through, and it gives you a sort of a clearer place to confront them from.

56:37 Adam Well, they could help you sort of devise a strategy.

56:39 Drew Well, it has a higher probability of working, frankly, because again, I've seen this over and over, that people, addicts are very unlikely to do anything unless they're hitting some sort of tremendous bottom. And sometimes having a child acknowledge what their drug uses affect, how it is affecting them, is enough, though not usually. However, an important family member, an important relationship, getting involved in co-dependency recovery freaks addicts out oftentimes, and enough to get them sometimes into recovery.

57:05 Adam My mom had a like eight-foot pot plant in the backyard.

57:08 Drew Yeah?

57:09 Adam Yeah.

57:10 Drew Okay.

57:12 Adam Thank you. I didn't go to any of that wussiality.

57:16 Drew Oh, I see.

57:17 Caller I see.

57:18 Drew Freak out.

57:18 Adam Freak out.

57:19 Busy Philipps It might help her.

57:20 Adam Those were different times.

57:20 Busy Philipps You know, to deal with it, wouldn't it?

57:22 Drew Deal with what? Oh, allotin?

57:24 Busy Philipps Yeah.

57:24 Drew Oh, yeah.

57:24 Busy Philipps Absolutely. She's got a car. She's 16. She can go.

57:27 Adam My mom called them herbal cigarettes.

57:29 Oh, boy.

57:29 Adam Phil?

57:31 Yeah.

57:31 Adam You're 20.

57:32 Caller Yep.

57:33 Adam What's up?

57:34 Caller My question is, can attention deficit disorder be acquired through habitual marijuana smoking?

57:41 Drew No, but a lot of different psychiatric syndromes can. And the one that I see most commonly that's sort of a relative of ADD is obsessive compulsiveness.

57:51 Caller I'm not too obsessive-compulsive, but I do have my pet peeves. Yeah.

57:56 Adam Change to bong water obsessively.

57:59 Caller Yeah.

57:59 Drew What do you mean by ADD?

58:02 Caller Well, I went through ADD testing and the doctor asked me if I smoked pot. And I told him I did. He asked me how much. I said at least once a day. He said get clean for at least 30 days and then he could get an accurate test.

58:15 Drew Yeah. You can't assess any psychiatric syndromes until people are off drugs completely. And usually it's more than 30 days, frankly.

58:22 Caller All right.

58:22 Adam Well, you're smoking a lot of weed, Phil. Why don't you ease up on that?

58:27 Drew You may not be able to stop. You're addicted.

58:29 Adam Hey, Phil. Phil? Yeah.

58:32 Caller It is an addiction.

58:33 Adam Okay. Speaking of the ADD. Yeah. Why don't you stop smoking the pot? That's what you should do.

58:41 Caller Well, I'm wondering. All right, Mike.

58:43 Drew Anything but that. Anything but that.

58:45 Caller If it is acquired, if it is acquired, it can't be reversible if I was to stop smoking pot.

58:50 Drew Phil? Oh, Phil.

58:51 Adam Who cares? Oh, just smoke your head off. Who cares? No one listens to us anyway. Stephanie?

58:59 Caller Yes.

58:59 Adam You're 22.

59:00 Caller Yeah.

59:00 Adam And listen to all you screwballs. Don't get caught up in semantics, you know, or titles with these ADD and all this. You smoke a lot of weed, you become sort of listless, and you can't do anything, and you can't get out of your own way, and then it becomes moot whether you have ADD or not. You're just stoned and you can't get out of the way. Who cares?

59:22 Drew Addiction is a more important issue than any underlying psychiatric problem at this point for this guy because he can't stop and he can't have an assessment for anything else until he does stop.

59:32 Adam Okay. Stephanie?

59:33 Caller Yeah.

59:34 Adam What's up?

59:35 Caller Well, just recently, me and my boyfriend were going out, a little bit over a year now, and just recently, while we're having sex, my lips swell up, my vaginal lips swell up after sex.

59:46 Adam Yeah.

59:47 Caller And the first time it happened, it was really uncomfortable where I took off work for three days because I couldn't really walk.

59:55 Adam Three days?

59:56 Caller Yeah.

59:57 Drew How long are you guys together?

59:58 Caller We've been together a little bit over a year now.

1:00:00 Drew That's not what I meant.

1:00:01 Adam How long were you together biblically?

1:00:03 Caller Oh, it was probably about 30 minutes.

1:00:06 Adam 30 minutes?

1:00:07 Caller Yeah.

1:00:08 Adam He's strong at the curve. That's five, six times for me with a break.

1:00:13 Drew So it may be too long for your body to deal with.

1:00:16 Adam Yeah. Why don't you try shaving that down to 10 minutes, see what happens.

1:00:20 Drew For five minutes.

1:00:21 Adam Maybe you could just do a little more oral sex and a little less intercourse.

1:00:26 Caller But there's nothing wrong with me. If that happens.

1:00:29 Drew Well, it's a little. You're inflamed. It could be a yeast infection, could be just burn.

1:00:34 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:00:35 Caller I'm a waitress.

1:00:37 Adam Oh, yeah. You need your vagina for that. That's where you keep your tip money.

1:00:42 Sure.

1:00:43 Caller All right.

1:00:44 Adam Yeah. You can't be walking around with trays full of malts and burgers with that inflamed vagina, especially with those roller skates. All right. Now, that's a tough job. Once I had that carbuncle on my ass, Drew. I had to-

1:01:01 Drew Take care of it, Busy. You start lighting his farts pretty soon.

1:01:03 Adam No, I would not do that. No, I'm trying to impress Busy. I would not do that.

1:01:06 Drew I thought that's how you- That was your sort of mating ritual.

1:01:10 Adam No, that was the old Adam.

1:01:11 Drew Ah. Unacceptable. New improved.

1:01:14 Adam Yeah. And plus, I'm wearing these nylon sweat pants, which are liable to go up at any moment. Busy, I want you to know that I only like farts in denim.

1:01:24 Busy Philipps In denim.

1:01:25 Adam Right.

1:01:25 Busy Philipps Let's only say farts in denim.

1:01:26 Adam And to all the kids that are listening, that's my message.

1:01:29 Drew And any future guests that come in the show, just first check to see what kind of pants Adam is wearing before you come in the studio.

1:01:35 Adam That's right. If it's denim, you could be in for a long night. That's when you may want to just put the foil on your head. What? We don't want these, we don't want them to get hurt. What the hell was I talking about? Who knows? Oh, Carbuncle. Yeah. When I had that Carbuncle on my ass, I used to teach boxing. I had to miss a day and I had to call in. Listen, Bruce, he was a guy who owned bodies and motions. Listen, my ass is on fire over here and I can't teach class. No sympathy, by the way, from him or anybody else in the gym or any of the students, by the way. I had a legitimate, they just laughed their asses off. I had a legitimate medical problem.

1:02:23 Drew How did the conversation go? Seriously.

1:02:26 Adam Well, the conversation probably went something like, I phoned the gym at 8.30 on a Tuesday night to tell him I couldn't teach a 7 a.m. Wednesday morning class. Bruce, you gotta get Tree to cover for me. Why? My asshole's on fire. Yeah? Yeah. I don't know what's going on down there, but I'm in pain right now and I'm lying down. I can't imagine standing up and yelling at people to hit a heavy bag. Really? Your asshole's on fire? Hold on a second. Adam Corolla and I will be teaching tomorrow 7 a.m. cardio boxing class's assholes on fire. Any questions? Well, actually, I'll give you his home number. Yeah, Adam. Yeah, Tree will cover for you. But he's going to tell everyone, okay? All right. So when you come back for Friday's class, you have a lot of people to talk to. Okay. Thanks, Bruce. Yeah, that's basically how it went.

1:03:25 Drew That's good.

1:03:26 Adam Yeah.

1:03:27 Drew That's when you got the mirrors out.

1:03:29 Adam Yeah, I had to get the mirror out. I won't get in any great detail, but you know how they have many theories. You know the tunnels that are inside of the pyramids? The Egyptians, they didn't have flashlights. There's many theories about how they got the light in to the center of the pyramid for them to work on these tunnels. And one of the theories is a series of mirrors that they reflected the light to, so it finally got down to the inner caverns of the pyramid. I used that same system to find the carbuncle on my ass. It was not easy. I had a flashlight and a series of mirrors. I was able to finally locate it. And once I had, I went to work and I was back on my feet in no time. As a matter of fact, I really was back teaching class. I felt good. Yeah, I'm a big fan of working on myself. Lee? Is he getting hot?

1:04:28 Busy Philipps No, no, not the word for it.

1:04:32 I just had a question about if blacking out is really like a medical symptom of being an alcoholic?

1:04:40 Drew Well, in a way, yeah, it's considered not routine physiology. The relationship with alcohol such that it causes blackout is highly suspicious for alcoholism. And if you add that to a family history, then you've probably got the disease.

1:04:55 Okay. Thank you.

1:04:56 Drew You got it? Well, you have the disease.

1:04:59 Okay.

1:05:00 Adam What do you do when you're blacked out? Anyone do anything weird to you?

1:05:03 Caller Um, no. I usually, no.

1:05:05 Nothing too bad.

1:05:06 Adam Nothing too bad?

1:05:07 Yeah.

1:05:07 Drew All right. You may want to get some treatment for this?

1:05:09 Yeah.

1:05:10 Drew What are you going to do?

1:05:11 I'm actually in a recovery program right now. And I'm just sort of still struggling with...

1:05:16 Drew Whether or not you're an alcoholic.

1:05:17 Yeah.

1:05:18 Drew Listen to the stories. You'll sort of hear, I'm sure, it's a very reproducible disease that affects everybody very, very similar ways. And then you'll hear your story out there.

1:05:27 Adam Greg?

1:05:28 Drew Greg?

1:05:29 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:05:31 Caller Oh, yeah. Yes. I was calling because earlier on the news, I saw it was like a preview about a male birth control pill, basically, like an alternative to having a female take the birth control pill.

1:05:48 Adam So the male takes it?

1:05:50 Drew Yeah.

1:05:50 Caller I was wondering if the doctor knew anything about it.

1:05:53 Drew There are many of those being studied out there. What specifically did you see on the news?

1:05:58 Adam This could take 45 minutes.

1:05:59 Drew I'm just going to find out.

1:06:00 Adam Greg, what did you hear on the news specifically?

1:06:04 Caller I was just wondering if there was something like that.

1:06:06 Drew Which one did you hear about on the news?

1:06:07 Adam I told you it was going to take a while. Say, Stoner?

1:06:10 Drew What was the name of what they started talking about? What was the quality?

1:06:12 Adam Are you kidding me? He doesn't know his dog's name.

1:06:15 Busy Philipps You didn't see the program. You just heard about it, right? Yeah, you didn't watch it.

1:06:19 Drew There's an interesting observation that just came through a couple months ago on a drug called nifetapine, which is a drug that commonly used drugs for high blood pressure. And one of the fertility clinics realized that they kept evaluating these couples. And when they asked if there were any medications, that's the drug that kept coming up. And they studied what happened to the sperm under the influence of nifetapine. And they were rendered useless, basically.

1:06:41 Busy Philipps They were retarded, right?

1:06:42 Drew They don't move right. Their movement was retarded. They didn't actually become retarded. And indeed, that may be the next male contraceptive.

1:06:50 Busy Philipps I was just picturing...

1:06:52 Drew Retarded sperm.

1:06:53 Busy Philipps Retarded sperm is when I first heard about that.

1:06:57 Adam People don't know that you can advance something and you can retard something like timing on your car and stuff. But it doesn't mean your distributor camp has been institutionalized. It's just slowing down. But Alicia, we will speak to now, who's 27, just because it's a sex problem. Alicia?

1:07:17 Hello.

1:07:18 Adam Hey, what's up?

1:07:19 Well, I have a bizarre question, okay? I've had different lovers and every time we start having sex, sometimes they'll just flip out. God, that makes it sound like a big cavern, but I swear to God, I'm not. We can try different positions and sometimes it just seems to happen. A couple of months ago, my ex, he had this retarded finger, it was all deformed and I think he cut it with his fingernail and I'm wondering, can that really happen? Can it not? Am I smoking crack? What's the deal?

1:07:55 Adam What? He had a retarded finger, he cut with his fingernail and you want to know if it can really happen.

1:08:03 Yeah.

1:08:03 Busy Philipps He cut, wait, I get it. He cut your vagina with his fingernail and you think it made it bigger. Yeah.

1:08:08 I'm thinking, can that really happen? Because I'm not a big woman and it's not bad, but I mean, damn, I'm just sitting there thinking, is this normal?

1:08:16 Adam Yeah. It's true. Yes.

1:08:17 Drew Yes, it's normal.

1:08:18 Adam No. He used that stiletto finger of his and gave you a pesionomy, essentially, right?

1:08:27 I don't know what the deal is, but you know, like I said-

1:08:29 Adam Ellie, you think your boyfriend with the hangnail enlarged your vagina?

1:08:34 Drew Where did you go to school? Do you have a college degree from somewhere?

1:08:38 Adam No, you're kidding me.

1:08:38 Drew I'm going to send your team out to that school from DGD.

1:08:41 Adam You didn't go to college, did you?

1:08:42 No, I did, but I went. I don't want to go. See, this is like just a stupid concern, but you know, like I said, but now that I have a different partner and the same thing happened, and I was like, you know what? Is there something wrong with me?

1:08:57 Adam Okay, listen.

1:08:58 Busy Philipps Never mind.

1:08:59 Adam No, go ahead. Come on.

1:09:01 Busy Philipps And when she first said same thing, I thought same thing with the fingernail.

1:09:04 Drew Oh, no, no. Slipping out problem.

1:09:05 Busy Philipps Yeah, no, slipping out.

1:09:06 Adam All right. Here's my hypothesis here. Maybe, how's the penis length with these guys?

1:09:13 Caller I'd say they're all pretty average.

1:09:15 I mean, the last guy was pretty big. I was like, oh, you know, I could just fill it in my belly.

1:09:20 Adam You know, it's-

1:09:21 Busy Philipps You can feel it in your belly?

1:09:23 Adam I'd give you $100 if you said that with me. Any woman listening. Listen, here's the problem sometimes. This happens to me. My ass thinks I got nine inches, but I don't got that much. So your ass pulls out like you got nine. Then the four and a half falls out at that point. You know what I mean? Your ass has to know, your ass and your penis have to be able to communicate. They need to know what you got and be realistic. And sometimes, especially in the heat of passion, especially when you're picking up the RPMs, you start to think that maybe the penis is a little longer than I thought. And so the ass goes, all right, we're going for a big dip here. Pulls weight out, pow.

1:10:10 Busy Philipps Never needed.

1:10:10 Adam And women hate that too. Oh, do they hate that?

1:10:13 Drew Going for a big dip, pow.

1:10:17 Adam Because the ass gets cocky.

1:10:19 Drew I beg your pardon?

1:10:21 Adam The ass has to know how much penis it's dealing with. That's all I'm saying. And is it male? You need to know.

1:10:28 Busy Philipps All right, so it's a problem with the guys. It's not a problem with you.

1:10:30 Drew Correct.

1:10:31 Busy Philipps At least.

1:10:32 Adam She could be very moist, and that could help.

1:10:35 Busy Philipps Or they could be using some sort of lubrication, maybe?

1:10:38 Drew Or a little too enthusiastic, not paying attention.

1:10:42 Adam Yeah. That's also why my penis is graduated. Like, you know in the- Plum line? Front of a ship?

1:10:48 Drew Yes, yes.

1:10:49 Adam They'll have it'll be marked off. You know, so I'll actually look down on my penis and I'll have it color-coded. It's like a light blue, then it gets darker. When it gets to real Navy blue, it means I don't have much room left, and it's time to go the other way. Understand? I recommend this to all my listeners. Important to know where you stand.

1:11:09 Drew If you put the metric system down there.

1:11:11 Adam Right. It looks that much bigger.

1:11:13 Drew Yeah.

1:11:14 Adam Oh, yeah. Metrically, I'm like almost 500 millimeters. Whoa. Yes.

1:11:20 Drew Shocking.

1:11:20 Adam Yeah. 500 millimeters plus.

1:11:23 Caller Wow.

1:11:24 Adam I'm going to do the math and figure out how many millimeters my penis is during the break, because Lord knows here comes the metric system, everybody. There's going to be two types of people in this world. There's going to be people who know the metric system, and people who are unemployed. That's a speech I got when I was in fifth grade. I'm going to sue my grade school now for that. All right. Busy Phillips is here from Freaks and Geeks. We're going to take ourselves a little break, and then we'll be back after this. Yep, it is the Loveline of Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew. Busy Phillips is here tonight from Freaks and Geeks, Monday nights, 8 o'clock NBC. Did a little math during the break, figured out I'm about 168 millimeters.

1:12:42 Drew Huge.

1:12:42 Adam Yeah, it sounds solid. It's my new answer now. Unless I go to Europe, then I'm back on standard. You know what I'm saying?

1:12:50 Drew Yeah.

1:12:51 Adam All right, Drew, what do you figure coming in at millimeter-wise?

1:12:55 Drew I have no idea.

1:12:56 Adam You want to do some math?

1:12:58 Drew If you're 168, I must be around 320. Jesus Christ in heaven.

1:13:05 Adam It's true. Drew's penis over at the airport in Cincinnati once.

1:13:10 Drew Traumatized him.

1:13:10 Adam Yeah, it was tough. It's hard to be with him for the rest of the day. And that was just flaccid, too. That was just at the urinal. Ted?

1:13:20 Yep.

1:13:21 Adam You're 23.

1:13:22 Caller Hey, how are you guys doing?

1:13:23 Adam Good.

1:13:23 Caller Good. My problem is kind of like... So I'm kind of nervous, though. I've been dating my girlfriend for about a month now, and the first time she tried to give me oral sex, she had really bright red hair. I know that sounds kind of weird, but when she saw it, she started laughing.

1:13:53 Adam You got that bozo thing going down there?

1:13:55 Caller Yeah.

1:13:56 Adam Yikes. Don't make him feel bad.

1:13:59 Busy Philipps Sorry.

1:14:02 Adam That's it for Ted.

1:14:04 Busy Philipps Sorry, Ted.

1:14:05 Adam Yikes. Come on. You women aren't about aesthetics, you're about what's inside, right?

1:14:10 Caller Yikes.

1:14:12 Busy Philipps No. Not at all.

1:14:14 Adam So, like, now. Sorry. Really? Oh, that's great.

1:14:18 Busy Philipps No, I'm just kidding, Ted.

1:14:19 Adam It's not at all. No, that's fine. Women love a guy who looks like his crotch is on fire.

1:14:24 Busy Philipps So, wait, so she was making fun of you?

1:14:26 Caller Well, yeah, she started laughing.

1:14:27 Adam Looks like Mr. Heat-Mizer's head.

1:14:31 Caller Now, though, whenever she tries to do it again, it's like I can't get into it, you know?

1:14:38 Busy Philipps Well, yeah, I can imagine.

1:14:39 Caller Yeah. Because I always think of like, keep remembering it, though.

1:14:42 Adam Okay, well, here's the deal. She was probably nervous. And people, especially women, when they get nervous, they tend to laugh, you know?

1:14:51 Caller Yeah.

1:14:51 Adam They get giggly. They get a little punchy. Yeah.

1:14:55 Caller Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam Is she experienced?

1:14:58 Caller No, it's kind of like, I mean, it's one of, kind of our both first times.

1:15:01 Adam No, right. This was more about nerves than your carrot-top-esque pubic hair.

1:15:07 Caller Right.

1:15:08 Adam Right.

1:15:08 Busy Philipps She didn't, like, make fun of you after it or anything?

1:15:11 Caller No, I mean, we didn't really do anything else that night, just because I couldn't really, I mean, it really kind of ruined everything.

1:15:18 Adam All right. Yeah, that's a bad protocol for the ladies to bust out laughing hysterically as they're beginning to perform oral sex.

1:15:26 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:15:27 Caller Sorry, I don't know why.

1:15:28 Adam Listen, Ted, you're 23, you're a mess. Relax. You got to start lifting weights and smoking or something.

1:15:36 Caller Would you?

1:15:36 Busy Philipps Buy a leather jacket.

1:15:37 Adam Yeah, get a leather jacket.

1:15:39 Busy Philipps Buy your hair.

1:15:40 Caller I didn't know if this was more of a common type of thing where I'll be able to, like...

1:15:45 Adam Ted, Ted, Ted.

1:15:46 Drew You'll be fine, you'll get over it.

1:15:47 Adam Please, stop thinking so much.

1:15:48 Drew Guarantee it.

1:15:49 Adam You're fine. There's plenty of red, you know, look at Ron Howard. I'm sure he gets a lot of trim. Doesn't he have red hair?

1:15:55 Caller Yeah, but... I don't know.

1:15:56 Adam Think of all the great redheaded... Well, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but...

1:16:01 Drew Carrot Top.

1:16:01 Adam Carrot Top. There you go. Bozo Carrot Top. I mean, the list goes on and on. These are all men with just... sexual prowess is legendary. Wouldn't you say? Bozo Carrot Top and Mr. Heatmizer from the Christmas acclamation series. All people that had red hair, all guys who, like I said, were legendary in this town for their sexual escapades. Ted, you're just a mess. You just stay with this girl. You'll be fine.

1:16:33 Drew Yeah, just relax.

1:16:34 Caller She'll be okay.

1:16:36 Adam See, you know, it always saddens me when guys who are sort of on the cusp and then they have a bad experience and they're ruined. You know what I mean?

1:16:46 Drew Like push them over the edge.

1:16:46 Adam Ted's the kind of guy who's self-esteem and confidence really wasn't what it could have been. And then busy laughter took us off Adam and girlfriends laughing up a storm. And that's 10 years of therapy right there, busy. That's all right. That's all right. You enjoy your big TV show while the little Ted's of the world just drown themselves in their tears.

1:17:06 Busy Philipps Ted's fine, I'm sure.

1:17:08 Adam Laura?

1:17:09 Yeah.

1:17:09 Adam You're 15?

1:17:10 Caller Yeah.

1:17:13 Adam What's up?

1:17:14 Caller I'm still in love with one of my ex-boyfriends and he's now like with one of my friends. And I was just wondering how I can get over it because I've, you know, tried, I jumped into another relationship to try to get over him and it was a really bad relationship. I mean, it tore me up that other relationship, the guy treated me like crap and everything. And, you know, I go out and I party a lot with my friends just to think, you know, that I'll make it a little better. But I just, I don't know what to do.

1:17:42 Adam Well, Laura, you're getting into meaningless relationships. You're taking drugs. You're doing all the right things. I just think it's a matter of time now.

1:17:50 Drew How long ago did you break up? How long ago did you break up with him?

1:17:53 Caller About a year.

1:17:55 Busy Philipps That's a long time.

1:17:56 Adam When you're 15, it is. Also, you tend to hang on a little longer. All right, Laura. All right, do you know I'm almost Christ-like, right?

1:18:07 Drew Yeah.

1:18:08 Adam Yeah.

1:18:08 Drew An oracle.

1:18:09 Adam Yes, and everything I say is true and comes to fruition. So just listen to me. Thank you. Touch the hem of my sweatpants if you like. The only way to get over somebody is to work on yourself. You see, people spend a lot of time working on the other person, and that doesn't do it because they're not so interested in you, and they're with somebody else, and then you start working on them, and they get less interested in you, and it freaks them out, and you spend every ounce of your spare time and energy directed at a ship that ain't never going to sail. You work on yourself, however, and whatever that means wherever you're at in your life. If you're 15, it means your school, it means getting involved with things, it means exercise or religion or whatever the hell it is you're into, whatever your hobbies are, and your friends. Do that, and then magically you feel better, and people magically become more attracted to you when you're doing your own thing, and the pain is not nearly as bad. The pain is horrible when you direct all that energy at the person, you don't do any of it for yourself, your grades suffer, your work suffers, whatever your life is suffers, and you still don't have the person, and now you're broken and empty, and nobody else wants you either. All right. That's why you work on yourself. Or you do what I do, which is just drink and feverishly masturbate.

1:19:32 Drew I would say this is the-

1:19:33 Adam Those are my two answers.

1:19:34 Drew This is Adam's, I wish somebody had told me when I was 29.

1:19:36 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm going to kick my dad in the nuts next time I see him, if I can find him.

1:19:42 Drew His nuts?

1:19:43 Adam Yes. We'll see. All right. Mary, you're 15.

1:19:49 Caller Yeah. My question was, can birth control be used as the morning after pill?

1:19:56 Drew That's basically what the morning after pill is.

1:19:59 Caller Oh, it is?

1:20:00 Drew Which birth control pill are you talking about?

1:20:02 Caller I'm not really sure.

1:20:05 Drew Are you trying to use somebody else's medication or something?

1:20:08 Caller Excuse me?

1:20:09 Drew What is it you're up to?

1:20:10 Adam Are you on birth control? No. Do you have any birth control pills?

1:20:16 Caller No. I was just wondering because I recently had sexual intercourse and there might be a chance that I might be pregnant.

1:20:26 Busy Philipps How long ago did you have sex?

1:20:28 Caller This was yesterday.

1:20:30 Drew All right. So go get the morning after pill. Yeah, go get it like right now.

1:20:35 Caller Okay.

1:20:36 Drew There's a phone number you can call. It's 1-888-NOT-NUMBER-2 LATE. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE.

1:20:42 Caller Okay.

1:20:43 Drew And I understand what you're up to. Why did you ask that question about the birth control pill?

1:20:49 Caller Because I wasn't really sure. I think I heard Adam say it like a while back.

1:20:54 Busy Philipps Do you have somebody that you know that has the pill? Were you going to take it from like one of your friends or your mom or something?

1:20:59 Caller Oh, no.

1:21:00 Drew Don't do that.

1:21:01 Busy Philipps Don't do that.

1:21:02 Drew Don't do that.

1:21:03 Adam We're just trying to figure out what your motivation was. Because let's just say I said, yes, it's the exact same pill. Now, then, what would you do?

1:21:13 Drew I don't know.

1:21:14 Caller I would really ask somebody first to be sure.

1:21:17 Adam Okay. Hey, Mary? Listen, don't have any kids for like ten years.

1:21:21 Caller Oh, I know.

1:21:22 Adam Okay. And then once you do have kids? Don't talk to them. Just watch TV and be fine, okay?

1:21:29 Drew Get them. Get Prevent. Get Plan B. Oh, Jesus Christ. One day after the 90%-

1:21:34 Adam You listeners never know what the goddamn hell we're talking about in this show.

1:21:37 Drew 90% probability of preventing a pregnancy by suppressing ovulation. All right.

1:21:42 Adam I'm fired up tonight, so I'm this close to tearing into that subject.

1:21:46 Drew Let's do it.

1:21:46 Adam But I do it too much.

1:21:47 Drew Let's do it.

1:21:48 Adam You really?

1:21:48 Drew Yeah.

1:21:49 Adam Okay.

1:21:49 Drew We haven't done it in a while.

1:21:50 Adam We're going to give it 60 seconds.

1:21:52 Drew All right.

1:21:52 Adam Okay. Wait till it gets to the six because I can't-

1:21:55 Busy Philipps It's gone.

1:21:56 Adam It's got to come around again. Let's just kill time. I'll sing the dreidel song.

1:22:00 Drew No.

1:22:01 Adam I had a little dreidel.

1:22:02 Drew Why people confuse emergency contraception with the abortion pill, RU486 is more than I can understand.

1:22:12 Adam It is not an abortion pill.

1:22:14 Drew It is not RU486 we're talking about. We're not talking about an abortion pill. We're talking about a pill, the birth control pill, taken a double dose within 72 hours of a unprotected sexual intercounter will suppress ovulation, prevent a conception. If a conception occurs, I'm sorry, you're going to get pregnant.

1:22:33 Adam Okay, now let me dig into these right-wing wussers. Listen, you idiots, the whole idea here is not to get young girls pregnant. That's a big problem in this society, so can't we please do something to prevent this goddamn problem? This is a safe, effective way to do it that does not involve an abortion. And why you got to make these 15-year-olds jump through hoops to get this safe and effective medication is absolutely beyond me, and it only makes me realize that you idiots just want to complain. You just want to complain. You're not interested in saving people. You're not interested in the kids and the fetuses and who's going to turn out to be pregnant. You're interested in complaining, you idiots. Shut the F up! Shut up! You idiots, put this goddamn pill out everywhere and let girls who are pregnant take it. Oh, they're going to use it as birth control.

1:23:28 Caller Good!

1:23:30 Caller Good!

1:23:31 Adam How bad is that? Oh, we're going to send the wrong message. Fine, they're not getting pregnant. Good. Good! Who cares what the goddamn message is? Who cares? Everyone's wearing a condom. Everyone's taking birth control. Everyone's using the morning after pill. Good! Who cares what the goddamn message is? Idiots! Idiots! Oh, Walmart's not going to carry it. You idiot! You backwards!

1:23:58 Busy Philipps Boycott Walmart, anyway.

1:23:59 Adam Corn kicking, corn fed, red neck, podunk pussies.

1:24:05 Drew It turns out...

1:24:06 Adam Just put the stupid pill in there and stop the 14 year olds from getting knocked up, you idiots.

1:24:11 Drew It turns out that the probability...

1:24:13 Adam Meanwhile, they're having an ammunition sale tomorrow, you idiots.

1:24:16 Drew The probability...

1:24:16 Adam I'll see you in hell, you idiots.

1:24:18 Drew The probability...

1:24:19 Adam If you think you're prioritizing, I'll see you in hell. Don't worry, I'll be laughing my ass off. Yeah, I was an atheist. What are you doing here, you idiots? Good, jackasses.

1:24:28 Drew The probability that it impairs implantation, the morning after pill, the emergency contraception, the probability of impairing implantation by that pill is the same as the birth control pill.

1:24:37 Adam No, the idiots want to complain.

1:24:39 Drew So if you want to get away a root of emergency contraception, you have to get rid of the birth control all together. They do the same exact thing.

1:24:48 Busy Philipps I just can't see what any logical argument would be. There is no logical argument.

1:24:52 Drew If you want to get rid of all birth control pills, that is logical. Then you could say there's a finite, a infinitesimally small but a finite, a real possibility that one out of a million conceptions will be interfered with by causing some problem with the implantation. Therefore, we have to get rid of all contraception pills.

1:25:11 Adam And you pussy politicians get off your lily-wide asses and start doing your goddamn jobs too. Start implementing things that make change. Stop worrying about a handful of right-wingers that are going to write letters. Listen, all you idiots that write letters, wipe your ass with that paper. Put it on your head, would you? Some kind of retarded captain's hat. You don't respond to people who write letters. Drew, how many letters have we gotten on this show? Who have we gotten letters from? We've gotten letters from the Church of Scientology, right? What do I tell them to do? Kiss my hairy ass, you druid freaks. And have we ever got another letter from those idiots? No. And what did everyone say? Oh, don't mess with the Church of Scientology. They'll send you a bunch of letters. Don't say anything bad about them. That was two years ago. I haven't heard from you pussy since. Why don't you write me another letter or wipe my ass with it?

1:26:03 Drew Then there's the guy. The guy that criticized you as an antithelm on the man show.

1:26:07 Adam Good. Yeah. That old fairy. Yeah. He's right on. Another 27 episodes, you prick. We're working on it right now. Write letters. Write me a letter, you wussies. I wipe my ass with those letters. And you know what? You don't get any letters when you wipe your ass with it. We get letters from GLAAD. I wipe my ass with that. All those gay and lesbian organizations, write those letters. I wipe my ass with those. That's right. You don't send letters to people who wipe their ass with it. It's not rewarding. No, you got to respond. Oh, we got to run them off a letter. We'll explain to them what happened. Shut up! Here's what I'll explain. You're idiots. I wipe my ass with all of you. Shack offs. Please. And you know what? And we don't get letters. We don't get letters. And that's the way you got to treat these idiots who write their letters. Religious freaks. All right. I got to go to the bathroom.

1:26:58 Drew Okay, good. Wipe your ass with some love.

1:27:01 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:27:02 Caller Okay, let's do it.

1:27:05 Caller Call Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Love Line will be right back.

1:27:40 Drew Adam, I think your rant got busy. I think your rant finally got through to Busy.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah, you're starting to warm up to me, Busy?

1:27:47 Busy Philipps Yes.

1:27:48 Adam All right.

1:27:48 Busy Philipps Yes, I really enjoyed the rant.

1:27:50 Adam Thank you.

1:27:51 Busy Philipps Something I feel passionate about as well.

1:27:53 Adam I knew you'd be back. Yikes. You know, there's a significant age difference. I'm 35 years old, but you know, I feel young, you know? I mean, I'm in fine shape, you know? Emotionally, I'm probably 15, 16, so it like makes up for it, you know, numerically. I think we have a future, I really do. You like flying model airplanes, napping and masturbating?

1:28:21 Busy Philipps No, can't say that I do.

1:28:23 Adam Me neither.

1:28:23 Drew She doesn't like the airplanes.

1:28:24 Busy Philipps I don't like the airplanes. We already discussed this earlier.

1:28:27 Adam Little model ones, you know, it's very exciting.

1:28:28 Busy Philipps Yeah, I'm not even a fan of those. I still see a possibility for crash.

1:28:33 Adam Oh, yes. Yes, there is. Melanie?

1:28:38 Yeah.

1:28:38 Adam You're 26?

1:28:39 Caller Yeah.

1:28:40 Adam What's up?

1:28:42 Caller Well, I kind of have like this problem. It's like the acceptance problem, you know. It's like when I, everywhere I go, it's like I wonder did this person like me or did that person like me or, you know, but I just want to learn how not to give a s***, you know what I'm saying?

1:28:59 Busy Philipps Just don't give.

1:29:00 Caller I try that. I try that and I don't. It's like, I don't, you know, it works for a little while and then it's not.

1:29:07 Adam I just assume they don't like you and then everything else is gravy.

1:29:10 Drew There's a certain, there's a certain personality makeup that really needs constant validation from the world, particular people in the world, in order to sort of be okay, to feel peace together. And when you lose that, when you're not sort of being perfect for everybody or being liked by everybody, it really cuts you adrift. You're really left with a feeling of emptiness and shame and all sorts of negative feelings. It comes from not really being given what you need when you're growing up. We're not talking about abuse, but just not given sort of the necessary nourishment to be independent, to be a self-sufficient, whole, autonomous person. And you didn't get that for whatever reason, and you need to find that. The best way to that is to have more...

1:29:55 Adam Start a band.

1:29:56 Caller Hey, I've thought about that.

1:29:58 Adam Yeah, that'll do it. Or you're going to get into radio and television.

1:30:01 Drew Have more meaningful relationships. With friends and people close to you, and sustain relationships that are meaningful.

1:30:07 Caller I think I have a problem about getting close to people.

1:30:08 Drew Yeah, of course, of course.

1:30:09 Adam Well, why don't you try getting close to some friends, and then you can work on the relationship.

1:30:13 Drew Yeah, don't worry about the romantic relationships now, but just being close to people generally.

1:30:17 Adam That's right. Matt?

1:30:19 Adam?

1:30:20 Adam Yes?

1:30:21 Yeah, this is Matt.

1:30:22 Adam All right, Matt?

1:30:24 Yeah, I'm 15. I got a question for you.

1:30:26 Adam All right.

1:30:27 Well, first of all, I want to congratulate you on The Man Show.

1:30:30 Adam Why, thank you.

1:30:31 Caller I think it's one of the best damn shows on TV right now.

1:30:34 Adam Well, I can tell you, I'm in my office every day working out fabulous new bits for the new season, and it's going to be, it'll be stronger this season. So you have that to look forward to.

1:30:46 Caller Okay, and I got a question about The Fox. I want to know how does he drink the beer that fast? Like is there something wrong with his body or was he like a deformed baby?

1:30:56 Adam The Fox is the Man Show pianist and beer chugger and sort of the Ed McMahon of the show, and he's able to open his throat and throw the beer down.

1:31:08 Drew Well, I understand that he can do it on his head, standing on his head.

1:31:11 Adam Oh yeah, he can chug a beer standing on his head. He can also just open his throat and throw it down. He has a mouth like a bass, so that helps. Matt, don't try that. You'll injure yourself.

1:31:25 Drew I understand why he's still alive.

1:31:26 Caller I tried to root beer once and I threw it up all over the place.

1:31:29 Drew That's nice.

1:31:29 Adam Yeah. Hey, Matt?

1:31:31 Caller Yeah.

1:31:31 Adam Trust me, stick with the beer bong. It's much safer.

1:31:35 Drew Trust me too, don't try anything you see on the Man Show.

1:31:37 Caller My main question is, me and my friends are looking at this Playboy, right? We saw this ad. It's like amazing scent attracts women and we really want to know if that stuff works.

1:31:48 Adam That's right. It smells like money. Yeah.

1:31:51 Caller It's like $120.

1:31:53 Adam It smells like the mint.

1:31:55 Drew No, Matt. No, no, no.

1:31:57 Adam No. No. I mean, okay, Matt.

1:32:01 Busy Philipps Go buy some Polo Sport, Matt.

1:32:03 Drew Yeah.

1:32:03 Busy Philipps Is that?

1:32:04 Adam What do women like?

1:32:04 Busy Philipps I always like that on my boyfriends or what else? I like Polo Sport. Calvin Klein, something. I don't know. Drecoeur Noir or whatever that is. Drecoeur Noir.

1:32:15 Caller Yeah.

1:32:17 Adam You know this stuff.

1:32:18 Busy Philipps Can you say that?

1:32:19 Drew Yeah.

1:32:19 Adam I don't know of it. I know what you're talking about. I'm still a high karate man.

1:32:25 Drew Oh, God.

1:32:25 Adam Thank God I bought a case of that in 75.

1:32:28 Busy Philipps That and Old Spice just smells like dad to me. You just, you know.

1:32:33 Adam That can turn a lot of ladies on.

1:32:34 Busy Philipps No, it's not so good. You don't want those girls.

1:32:37 Caller Are you hot, Daddy?

1:32:38 Adam Yeah. You hear that? Now, here's how the cologne works. First off, I love all this stuff where they try to explain that this cologne captures the spirit of this person. They show guys on the crew team. Then he's out. A lot of guys are hitting the speed bag, hitting the heavy bag, and then he's up on his roof of his New York loft apartment.

1:33:04 Drew With a bonsai tree.

1:33:06 Adam Yeah, the bonsai tree.

1:33:09 Adam Yeah. Hey, are you the kind of guy who parks your motorcycle in your living room and then has a weight set in a bed right next to each other and a brick wall around it? No, that guy doesn't. Everybody, you know what I like about these commercials? Every single guy in America lives in a loft apartment. You know what I mean?

1:33:28 Drew Yeah, none of us have ever known anyone.

1:33:29 Adam Nobody lives in the S hole in Van Nuys with the rust colored shag carpet. No, it's hardwood floors, brick walls, exposed beams, and one big room with the hardwood floors and the motorcycles over here and the weight bench is over there and I got the bed over there and the big ficus is over here and I'm the kind of guy that likes wearing a collar but rolling up his sleeves. Right. So you get the cologne and then you capture the essence of that guy. But here's how the cologne works. If you're into somebody, you'll like the cologne that they wear, unless it's offensive. I mean, it's got to be within a certain range. But you will then associate that smell with the person and because you like that person, you will like that smell.

1:34:13 Busy Philipps Yeah, okay.

1:34:15 Adam So, it's not so-

1:34:16 Busy Philipps But I just know, but I mean, there are guys that I know that I'm friends with that I don't like necessarily. Just people I work with, people I know, and I always think, God, they smell really good.

1:34:27 Adam They're putting cologne on for work?

1:34:29 Busy Philipps I guess.

1:34:29 Drew You gotta look at those guys. Adam, Adam, they shower for work.

1:34:32 Adam What was that word?

1:34:33 Drew Shower.

1:34:34 Adam For what?

1:34:35 Busy Philipps For work.

1:34:36 Drew They shower.

1:34:38 Adam Yeah, I don't know what that means.

1:34:39 Drew Other than bath day.

1:34:40 Adam Yeah, I'd like to come out with some cologne to smell like a mesquite that a guy could get into. You ladies, you smell like daffodils, but you really should smell like barbecue sauce.

1:34:52 Busy Philipps Actually, I smell like a pipe. I'm not wearing it.

1:34:54 Adam That's what I'd like.

1:34:55 Busy Philipps It's in my purse. I'll get it for you.

1:34:56 Adam Go get some of that.

1:34:57 Busy Philipps You can smell it. It's this raspberry and vanilla oil. Every time I wear it, people turn around. Who's smoking a pipe? Who's been smoking a pipe? It's me. It's my cologne or my perfume or whatever.

1:35:07 Adam Jamie?

1:35:08 Caller Yeah.

1:35:08 Adam I'm proud to say I've never bought a bottle of cologne in my entire life.

1:35:12 Drew Or bar soap.

1:35:14 Adam I did get a bar soap from Christmas for my neighbor.

1:35:17 Caller Jamie and I go, yeah.

1:35:21 Adam Hey, a caller goes by the name Jamie?

1:35:23 Yeah.

1:35:25 Adam Okay. Ask your question, please.

1:35:29 I've been on my period for over a month. I know it's not normal, but I don't know like why, because I haven't been on birth control for like a long time.

1:35:41 Drew You want any medication?

1:35:42 No, none at all.

1:35:43 Drew And any chance you're pregnant?

1:35:46 Well, why would I be on my period if I was pregnant?

1:35:49 Drew Well, it may not be your period, it may be a topic. Pregnancy or first trimester bleeding can be a lot of things. You need to see a doctor. Thyroid disease can do this. A lot of ovarian cysts, various things can cause this.

1:36:00 Adam Okay.

1:36:01 Busy Philipps Go to the doctor.

1:36:02 Drew Yeah.

1:36:02 Adam There you go. We'll be back.

1:36:06 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:36:10 Drew We'll be right back.

1:36:42 Adam All right, I want to thank Busy Philipps for coming in here and being a good sport tonight. And let me sniffer.

1:36:51 Busy Philipps No, man, my mom taped this.

1:36:53 Adam You know what I'd like to do? I like to take one big whiff, and I'm gonna hold my breath until I get home. And I'm gonna exhale into a bag. That's gonna be over my head while I'm taking care of business. What do you think, Drew? And then I also get the affixiation rush, too.

1:37:07 Drew Yeah, I understand, it's quite an image.

1:37:08 Adam You may find me that. Freaks and Geeks, everybody. 8 o'clock on NBC, Monday nights, right?

1:37:15 Drew Please watch.

1:37:16 Adam Please do watch. We want to get busy, that condo. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. My asshole's on fire. Well now.

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Monday, January 31, 2000