Episode 1000754887229

1:26 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:29 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:32 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:37 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:39 Voiceover Loveline.

1:40 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. He is back, everybody.

1:46 Drew Glad to be back.

1:47 Voiceover Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is still a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist and still making a lot of noise with the Marks a Lot board.

2:00 Drew My board here.

2:01 Adam Tonight, our guests from the Parkers on UPN 830 Monday Night, Monique and Dorien Wilson.

2:07 Drew Hey, now.

2:08 Guest What's up?

2:10 Adam I think, well, didn't I see Monique was on the TV show, right? When the hell was that?

2:15 Drew Like in the fall sometime. Didn't you do that?

2:18 Yeah, you.

2:18 Drew She doesn't remember.

2:19 Guest Yeah, on the love line.

2:20 Yeah.

2:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

2:21 Guest I had a wonderful time.

2:22 Drew And then she did my webcast.

2:24 Adam Oh, really?

2:24 Guest Oh, had a marvelous time.

2:26 Adam I heard you the difference.

2:27 Drew She had an okay time on the TV show. A marvelous time on the webcast.

2:31 Guest Marvelous.

2:31 Guest Let's see.

2:32 Adam What was missing from the webcast? Could it have been me, perhaps? Was that the only factor?

2:38 That and the censors.

2:38 Adam Or was it that she was able to swear like a drunken sailor?

2:41 Guest I was allowed to be free.

2:43 I was free.

2:45 Adam Well, it's nice to cuss, especially when you come from that stand-up background.

2:48 Absolutely.

2:48 Guest It was wonderful. And I comboed some words. I made up some words for that one. Yes.

2:57 Adam I have my language. The Parkers are a spinoff from Moesha. And basically, well, why don't you set it up for us?

3:07 Guest Well, the Parkers was a spinoff of Moesha. And Kim, who was Moesha's best friend, she always talked about her mother, but you never saw her. So the spinoff was Kim and her mother, Nikki. And Nikki has Kim when she's very young. And Kim grows up to be this wonderful young lady, goes off to college. Nikki busts in, and she goes to college with her, and just basically crowds her baby space.

3:29 Adam Right.

3:30 Guest And then we meet this wonderful professor.

3:32 Adam Dorien.

3:33 Guest Yes, Dorien Wilson. Hey, Professor Uncle V!

3:36 Guest You had to say that. But we might add that Kim is played by Countess Vaughn, who was on Moesha for five seasons.

3:45 Adam Yes. Yeah. And she was on the Loveline TV show as well. Right.

3:49 Drew She was on the radio show before the TV appearance. And I think, remember, the radio freaked her out.

3:54 Adam It did?

3:54 Drew Remember, she sat there, kind of kept looking through the glass back here.

3:57 Adam She stopped the clock. She thought it stole her soul, I think is what happened, like an Indian with a-

4:02 Guest No stole sale today.

4:03 Adam With a camera. All right. So that's Monday night, 8.30 on UPN, and we'll talk a little more about it before the night's true, but we'll go to the phones first. Kirsten?

4:15 Yeah?

4:16 Adam You're 16?

4:17 Caller Yes.

4:17 Guest What's up?

4:19 Caller I was just wondering, while I'm pregnant, is it safe to have sex?

4:25 Drew Yeah, it is. Provided you're not having any complications. Have you talked to your obstetrician about it?

4:31 Caller No.

4:31 Adam You know what obstetrician is?

4:34 Caller No.

4:34 Drew Oh, boy.

4:35 Adam It's bad when you're pregnant. You don't know what that is, right?

4:37 Guest It's bad.

4:38 Drew Aren't you getting any prenatal care?

4:40 Caller No.

4:40 Drew How come?

4:41 Caller I can't afford it.

4:43 Guest Clinic.

4:44 Drew County.

4:45 Guest Free.

4:45 Drew Free.

4:47 Caller Well, I don't have a right to get there.

4:49 Adam Oh, okay. Well, if you can't get a ride, you can't get a ride. I mean, what are you going to do? This is the bus, baby.

4:54 Guest But most clinics provide transportation.

4:56 Adam They do?

4:56 Guest Yes. They do provide a van that comes around.

5:00 Drew Yeah, we will get that. There's access. There's always access.

5:02 Adam It's called the Party Girl Van, by the way. It's a bunch of 16, 17-year-olds have been knocked up. Kirsten?

5:09 Drew Kirsten, listen, do you understand you're putting your baby in danger by not getting prenatal care?

5:13 Adam What does she care?

5:14 Caller I mean, I'm not having any complications.

5:16 Drew How do you know?

5:18 Adam Well, how, what are you, three months along?

5:20 Caller Yeah.

5:21 Drew You've got to get prenatal care. Get on proper nutrition, take the prenatal vitamins. You need extra iron.

5:26 Adam You don't need those vitamins.

5:27 Drew Oh, yes.

5:28 Adam What did everyone else do?

5:30 Guest Does the father have a car, Christian?

5:31 Drew They died in childbirth.

5:33 Adam He's got a moped.

5:34 Guest Christian? Does the father have a car?

5:37 Caller No.

5:37 Guest Or are there fathers?

5:41 Adam Where's dad? Is he around?

5:42 Caller No.

5:43 Guest Christian?

5:44 Caller Well, he's at his own house.

5:45 Drew Kirsten.

5:46 Guest Kirsten. Kirsten, how many dads are involved here?

5:49 Caller One.

5:50 Guest Okay. Does his mom or dad have a car?

5:53 Caller Yeah.

5:54 Guest And where are your parents?

5:55 Caller Here.

5:56 Guest And do they obviously know that you're pregnant, right? All right. That might be the first step there. Then let them in on it. And I'm sure they'll be able to help you out a little bit.

6:09 Drew They're going to find out soon enough, right?

6:10 Guest Yeah.

6:11 Drew Why not?

6:11 Guest That's one secret you can't keep secret.

6:13 Guest Maggie Close is not going to last too long.

6:16 Drew Let them help out while there's still an opportunity to make sure this goes well, all right?

6:20 Adam Hey, Kirsten? So you got to prioritize now because now you're a woman. You're no longer just a 16-year-old. You're pregnant. You have to take care of your young fetus. You have to take care of them all the way until they turn like 18 or like my friends well into their 30s and still living at home, all right? And don't worry about where you're getting sex. You're doing fine in that department. You worry about prenatal care, right, goofball?

6:42 Caller I'm not a goofball.

6:43 Adam All right. Well, would you give the kid up for adoption and save us all some money, please?

6:47 Caller No, I can't even let my parents know.

6:50 Drew How do you plan to keep this from them?

6:52 Caller I don't know.

6:53 Adam Well, what are you going to do?

6:54 Caller I don't know, run away maybe.

6:56 Guest No, that's not a good idea at all, sweetie. What you need to do is right now, when you hang up this phone, go to your parents and tell them that you are pregnant. You are three months pregnant because if you went any long, it's going to be too late.

7:09 Adam And listen, they deserve it. I'm sure they did something wrong along the way. This is what you get as a parent.

7:16 Drew If you have access to a computer, it's one of the things the web is good for, those getting support and this kind of thing. You can use my site, drew.com. We have referrals to other sorts of resources, national resources, helpline things. Let me give you one right now. Perhaps you can talk to, here's a family planning one, 1-800-942-1054. 1-800-942-1054.

7:36 Adam All right, give the kid up for adoption, please.

7:38 Drew And I'm up for that, too.

7:40 Adam She's in zero shape. I wouldn't have her raise a chipmunk. I really wouldn't. Addison?

7:47 Hi.

7:47 Adam You're 14, what's up?

7:49 Caller Yeah, my best friend, she-

7:51 Adam A chipmunk would need therapy.

7:54 Drew Meds.

7:54 Adam Yeah. Be on Prozac and seeing a full-time staff of therapists over to local college.

8:00 Drew Addison?

8:01 Adam Addison, you're 14, what's up?

8:02 Caller Yeah, hi. My best friend, she, I don't know if she's my best friend anymore, but she always flirts with my boyfriend and she doesn't just like light flirting, she just-

8:15 Guest Punch her right in the mouth.

8:16 Guest Right. Don't let her breathe.

8:18 Right.

8:19 Guest It's time to whip up on her.

8:20 Drew Does your friend know it's your boyfriend?

8:22 Caller Yeah.

8:22 Guest You talk to her about this already?

8:24 Caller Yeah. She just says, oh, don't worry about it. I'm not, but I keep telling her it is, and we're like in a big fight about it now, and I just, I don't know what to do.

8:32 Drew What does your boyfriend say?

8:36 Caller He doesn't think that she flirts with him either, but it's so obvious that she does.

8:41 Adam Well, what does she do? What's the heavy flirting?

8:43 Caller She'll be like, oh, you're so cute, and she'll be like, oh, you want to go out on a date, and she'll be like, oh, just kidding, Addison.

8:52 Adam Okay. Well, stop hanging around with her.

8:54 Guest Exactly. Yeah.

8:56 Adam Fine. No problem.

8:57 Guest One-on-one with your boyfriend, and if you want to kick it with her, then you see her another time.

9:01 Drew And I think, too, the boyfriend has responsibility to understand that whatever it is she's doing, his girlfriend perceives it as something that makes her uncomfortable, and he should make it stop.

9:11 Guest But they're 14.

9:12 Adam Yeah.

9:12 Guest So it's kind of cute right now, because he's probably loving that attention.

9:15 Drew Yeah.

9:15 Guest He's 14 and loving those women digging on him.

9:18 Adam There's really no excuse as a guy for hanging out with your girlfriend's friends, though. I mean, no matter what they're doing to you. They're 14, and he's a little young. That's why I'm going to cut him some slack, but he should learn. You should try to stay away from your girlfriend's friends. Only bad can come of that. At least bad. It's either bad or boring. I mean, either you're going to get into trouble, or you're just going to have a crappy time. They're both bad scenarios.

9:43 Drew You're wearing a Rams hat tonight.

9:45 Adam That's right.

9:45 Drew Shocked.

9:46 Adam I've been waiting for them to win since I was in high school, and they were in the Super Bowl in 1980.

9:52 Drew Is that 80 or 79?

9:53 Adam Well, it's the 79th season, but 80 Super Bowl.

9:57 Drew That was my dream Super Bowl.

9:58 Adam I was always into the Rams, and I'm just glad they won. I realize now, though, that no one cares what I think.

10:04 Drew What do you think about that Kurt Warner story?

10:06 Adam I think it's good.

10:08 Drew No, seriously, because I was looking at them, and I thought, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

10:11 Adam Why?

10:12 Drew Well, a guy drops a kid in a bathtub, and he has intracranial hemorrhage. You know his story?

10:16 Adam Oh, I didn't know his story. I thought you meant playing arena football, and starting in the Super Bowl. Well, that's the story I'm talking about. Who dropped what?

10:24 Drew I read this in the paper, that he, they have a child that's impaired, that, that, because he dropped it in the bathtub, and he bled in his brain, and the mother, you know, nursed it, seizing throughout the night.

10:34 Guest But it was an accident, right?

10:35 Drew But it's not his kid, and.

10:37 Adam All right, but on, on, on his behalf, he's a quarterback, not a receiver. So it's not like he has the world's greatest hands.

10:44 Drew But they use a language, the two of them, that sounds a little like recovery to me.

10:48 Adam Well, here's the deal.

10:49 Drew Oh, was he high?

10:50 Adam No, no, listen. That would be awesome.

10:52 Guest They have a baby in the tub.

10:53 Adam They both praise Jesus way too much. And whenever you praise Jesus too much, it's usually a little compensation for maybe a life you weren't so proud of. Most people, most people don't go along their life, never make a mistake, never have any problem with substance abuse, never drop a kid in a tub, and then go nuts with Jesus. Usually got to run over somebody or get strung out on heroin or something.

11:16 Drew They're really in the higher power realm.

11:19 Adam Now, they're talking about Jesus. Listen, he does a little too much praising of Jesus.

11:23 Guest You can never praise Jesus too much. No, you can praise Jesus 24-7.

11:27 Adam I know.

11:27 Guest I have ever dropped a kid in a tub.

11:29 Adam On your own time, you can.

11:30 Guest But praise God, I praise Jesus every chance I get. Hallelujah.

11:33 Adam On national TV, it gets a little tiring though. All right, here's the point.

11:38 Drew Drew, be quiet.

11:38 Adam I don't know what the hell he's up to.

11:40 Drew Just think about that, you're picking up vibes. Do you get any vibe from?

11:44 Adam I get a vibe from people who praise Jesus too much. That's the only bad vibe I get. I wonder what they did that they're so ashamed of that they've got to praise them so much for now. Leslie?

11:55 Hello?

11:55 Adam You're 16.

11:57 Caller Yeah, I don't know if you remember me.

11:58 I called in December before Christmas. I'm the one where I haven't seen my parents in a little while now.

12:05 Drew You saw murder?

12:06 Yeah.

12:07 Adam Yeah. Your parents left you alone. They went to Europe. You were taking care of yourself.

12:12 Yeah.

12:12 Adam You saw murder and you were a big pain in the ass to talk to, I remember at the time.

12:18 Drew We talked to her again. She told her mom and her mom said, wait till she gets back.

12:21 Adam Is that what happened?

12:22 Drew Yeah.

12:23 Adam All right. So what's up now?

12:25 I just have a real quick question. Problems got a little worse, but lately I've been getting up in the middle line just like when I'm just get up and start screaming and I don't remember a dream. I don't remember anything.

12:35 Drew Night terrors are part of seizure, can be part of drug use, can be part of severe anxiety problems, can be history of trauma.

12:43 Can we make it stop? I have exams coming up and I haven't slept for two weeks.

12:47 Guest You know what's good? Take three excedrin PM. It will knock out any nightmare you get possibly.

12:53 Guest Or a shot. Now have you tried talking to anybody about this?

12:57 When my mom gets here, she said she'd deal with it.

13:00 Drew Leslie, we told you how serious this situation is, right?

13:08 No, I know. I know. But I told my mom. She said she'd deal with it when she gets here.

13:12 Drew She's not dealing with it.

13:13 Caller She'll be here next month.

13:15 Well, two months from now.

13:16 Caller But she will.

13:18 Hold on a second.

13:20 Adam I can't figure out this chick. She called in once. She basically witnessed a murder, something to do with her friends. Then she said her parents were in Europe for a couple of months, and they would just leave her alone for extended periods of time.

13:33 Drew Since she was 11 or something. Since she was 11, they've been doing this. They're both doctors. We said, this is not parenting. This is not okay.

13:39 Guest Has she called the police?

13:40 Drew That's what we said.

13:41 Adam Now, then she called back last couple of months ago.

13:44 Drew We said she's got to tell her parents at least, so she did that.

13:47 Adam I don't even remember that part. She just called back and here's what she does basically, and here's what I have no time for on this show. They keep calling us repeatedly, wanting to know what we think they should do. Then we tell them what to do. Then they say, I can't do that. And then I get mad at them and hang up. So, listen, I don't care. That's the beauty of me. I'm an atheist. I have no soul. I'm going to hell. I don't care. People say to me, what about the 14-year-olds? Don't care. What about those poor kids you said, don't care?

14:16 Caller You go to hell and you die.

14:18 Guest That's right.

14:18 Guest We don't want to turn them on.

14:20 Adam I'm doing my job. My job is to tell you what to do. I'm like a mechanic. You pull your car in, I'm going to tell you what's wrong. If you don't believe me, you want to pull out and drive down the highway, good riddance. That's what I'm saying to Leslie.

14:33 Drew I care very much, but Leslie has not been willing to do anything, and it puts us in a very awkward position.

14:38 Adam So why do you keep calling us, Leslie?

14:39 Guest If you're looking for help, take it, please.

14:42 Drew By the way, maybe it's time for a fantasy answer. Because Leslie wants to know what pills to take to get rid of her night terrors. Night terrors.

14:50 Adam All right. We haven't done this in many a month, probably because it was funny, and we try to eliminate all elements of the show that could be mistaken for entertaining. But let's play Drew's fantasy answers.

15:02 Drew So you play Leslie.

15:03 Adam All right. Hey, Dr. Drew?

15:05 Drew Yeah.

15:05 Adam Yeah. Remember I called the other month? Yeah.

15:07 Drew Murder, yada, yada, yada.

15:08 Adam Yeah. Yada, yada, yada, the dead person? Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, now I'm having night terrors. I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm screaming, covered with sweat. It could be a seizure.

15:15 Drew It could be severe anxiety.

15:15 Adam Is there something I could take?

15:17 Drew Pills?

15:18 Adam Yeah.

15:19 Drew Oh. Very large doses of Valium. I could like Restriol. Heroin sometimes is useful. Heroin? Yeah, heroin can cut anxiety. And if you can't get your hands on heroin, certainly Vicodin is available. Just go into a doctor and lie about having severe pain and they'll prescribe Plan B.

15:33 Adam And as far as washing the Vicodin down, just tap water or? No.

15:37 Drew A shot.

15:39 Adam More liquor perhaps? A little brandy. Oh, okay.

15:41 Drew Johnny Walker Black.

15:42 Adam Thank you very much. Thank you very much. All right, Leslie, there was the fantasy answer. Now the real answer is you have to talk to your mom again. You have to look into getting a little therapy.

15:54 Drew You gotta get some help.

15:54 Adam You gotta talk to the police about this murder situation.

15:58 Drew And you gotta not be thinking about taking substances of any kind, okay?

16:03 Adam All right, yes. Okay. All right, there you go.

16:07 Guest She was reluctant on that.

16:08 Drew She's gonna call back in two months and tell us she was around addicts and she's probably gonna need treatment for her addictive process, too.

16:14 Adam Drew, you got a number. It's a four. Oh, okay. It looked like a backwards seven to me. Mary or Marie?

16:21 Caller Marie.

16:21 Adam Yes.

16:22 Caller Yes, hi.

16:23 Adam You're 27. What's up?

16:24 Caller How are you?

16:26 Drew Great.

16:27 Caller My one question was, does what you eat, your diet, affect your genital secretions? And is there any way you can change your diet to change your secretion taste?

16:39 Yes.

16:40 Drew Yes?

16:40 Guest Yes.

16:41 Caller So what is recommended?

16:45 Adam Well, when I'm with a woman, I just put on a pure honey diet. Nothing but honey, like a bear.

16:51 Guest Marie.

16:52 Adam They put on weight, but they taste good.

16:54 Guest If you're dieting, just drink lots of water. Yeah. Because then it'll give it a real, just it'll give a real mellow.

17:02 Caller Well, see, that's the problem. It's already mellow, but like, you know, just trying to sweeten it up or whatever. The honey.

17:09 Guest No, because you know what's actually good, if you know that your mate or your husband or whomever is going to do that.

17:16 Drew Oh, wait, wait. Who is supposed to be getting this?

17:18 Adam We're talking about oral sex?

17:20 Yes, exactly.

17:21 Guest I'm right there with you.

17:23 Drew Thank you. Is this to help the woman or the man?

17:26 Guest It's to help.

17:26 Drew Or either?

17:27 Guest Both.

17:28 Drew To make it more pleasurable.

17:29 Guest Right.

17:30 Drew Douche. No, who's going to taste differently?

17:33 Guest She's going to taste differently to him.

17:35 Drew Okay, fine.

17:35 Guest Right.

17:35 Drew How does she do that?

17:36 Guest Like Dorien said.

17:37 Drew Water.

17:38 Guest Douche.

17:38 Guest Right.

17:39 Caller Douche. No, no, no, time out.

17:41 Guest She's talking about the food that you, the intake of the food that she's.

17:45 Guest If you drink lots of water, it won't make a difference.

17:47 Caller Yes, or whatever you eat, does your daily diet affect how you taste?

17:51 Guest No.

17:52 Adam No. And listen, it doesn't have to taste sweet. Guys smoke cigars, eat liver and onions, they have shots of cognac. None of that tastes sweet. Caviar, whatever. It doesn't taste sweet.

18:03 Guest It tastes very bitter.

18:04 Adam Caviar tastes like caviar.

18:06 Guest But when it comes out, it's very bitter.

18:08 Adam No. Here's my point.

18:11 Drew Guys don't care.

18:13 Adam We don't care. You don't see guys sitting at bars all night, eating fondue, eating lemon meringue potty.

18:21 Guest Well, no, because my husband's very aware of that. He's very aware of that.

18:25 Adam I'm saying.

18:26 Guest When he wants that, he knows. I like a nice little base.

18:29 Drew He's worried about the taste.

18:30 Guest A little gravy.

18:33 Drew Her husband is worried about the taste.

18:35 Adam Gravy?

18:36 Caller All right.

18:37 Adam It's a black thing. It's not like he's pulling up to the counter at Denny's or anything. He's just there to perform oral sex. You know what I mean? Listen, it shouldn't taste bad, but it doesn't have to taste good. No guy is going to fault you for not tasting good. I wouldn't want it to taste good. He might take a bite out of you. Guy's had a couple of beers. I disagree.

19:00 Guest I would want it to taste good. Absolutely.

19:02 Guest Thank you, Dorien. Yeah.

19:03 Guest A little flavor up in there never hurt.

19:05 Adam All right. Well, that's way. Lemon, rind, and honey.

19:08 Guest Strawberries.

19:09 Adam I treat my woman like a garbage disposal. You know, I throw a few lemon.

19:12 Caller Yeah.

19:12 Adam Lemon peel in there, fresh in it.

19:14 Caller You know what, Adam?

19:15 Caller Stop it.

19:15 Adam It's true. Here's the other thing, and I think I brought this up once because we've had this question a thousand times on the show and we can never quite convince people that there's really not a whole lot you can do to change that taste. I said to Drew, what if I just ate myself an entire peach pie with a big tub of French vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream on top? You think when I took a dump four hours later it wouldn't smell like as much crap as I've ever taken in my life? You know what I mean? I mean, how are you going to clean that up? I could eat nothing but cotton candy.

19:52 Guest But we're not talking about taking dumps, we're talking about something else.

19:55 Guest It would be very peachy. I guess it depends what orifice you put it in too, you know.

19:57 Adam We're talking about the process. You take stuff in, it doesn't necessarily affect what's coming out. That's what I'm saying.

20:04 Guest Right, right.

20:04 Guest It depends on how much you take in.

20:06 Drew What water, I agree, is a good idea.

20:08 Guest Right.

20:08 Drew There you go.

20:09 Adam Randy?

20:09 Drew I'll give you that.

20:10 Guest Now, Adam.

20:11 Adam How's your husband? Pretty enthusiastic about that? He is?

20:15 All right.

20:16 Adam He's a keeper. He is a keeper. Boy, what's he do? Does he work?

20:21 Guest Of course.

20:22 Adam Yeah, but he doesn't make your kind of money, does he?

20:24 Guest Of course.

20:25 Adam He does?

20:25 Guest He's the executive producer.

20:26 Adam Oh, he shouldn't be down there. I thought he was a page or something.

20:30 Guest He hires somebody.

20:31 Guest Don't do it, Adam. You're making me jump over.

20:34 Adam If he's making good money, he shouldn't be down there.

20:36 Guest Randy?

20:39 Guest Wait a minute. Put them on hold.

20:41 Adam All right, all right.

20:42 Guest Yes, he should be down there. He's doing his manly husband thing.

20:45 Adam But not for an extended period of time that way.

20:47 Guest Yes.

20:48 Adam What is he down there for? Would you say about 10 minutes a week, 20 minutes a week?

20:51 Guest Please, about 45 minutes a week.

20:53 Adam You all lie. 45 minutes a night?

20:55 Guest Yes, that's why I'm always happy.

20:57 Adam How many nights a week?

20:57 Guest And glowing six.

20:59 Adam Six nights a week.

21:01 Guest Yes.

21:02 Adam I know you take Saturday off because you're Jewish. I know that.

21:05 Guest I thought it was the Sunday thing.

21:07 Adam Oh, Sunday. Okay. I thought their Sabbath was on Saturday. You know what?

21:11 Guest I think you would start believing in a lot more things if you did it quite often.

21:17 Adam All right. If I got down there?

21:18 Guest Yes.

21:19 Adam All right. I'm going to get down there.

21:20 Guest Now I need y'all to leave the room so Adam and I can get down there.

21:22 Drew She's saying you start believing in God.

21:24 Adam To me, it just seems like a waste of money. So you fork down 100 bucks and you're going to go down there? I mean, what kind of self-esteem is that? Randy, you're 19.

21:36 Caller How you doing, Adam?

21:37 Adam Good.

21:37 Caller Man, I think you're God.

21:39 Adam That's beautiful.

21:40 Drew Where you coming from, Randy?

21:41 Adam Very ironic. He thinks the atheist is God.

21:44 Caller I'm real insecure because I'm real skinny and everything.

21:46 Guest Well, I'm real fat. Don't worry about it.

21:48 Caller All right.

21:49 Caller So for like four years, I've been wearing like, like I won't go outside without wearing a sweatshirt and all that all the time. You know what I mean? I'm scared that people might see me in my skinny body. You know what I mean?

22:01 Adam Yeah.

22:01 Drew Do you try to gain weight?

22:02 Caller Yeah.

22:03 Drew How do you try?

22:04 Caller Well, I smoke and everything, but.

22:07 Adam That's a good start.

22:08 Guest Eating might be a little better.

22:10 Caller I mean, like I don't do any drugs or nothing. You know what I mean? Because I know that wouldn't help, you know?

22:15 Drew How do you try to gain weight?

22:16 Adam Let's do a little Loveline reenactment there. I'm 124 pounds at 5'11. I'm so skinny, I'm scared the wind's going to blow me over when I go outside.

22:23 Drew How do you try to gain weight?

22:24 Adam Oh, I try to gain weight all right.

22:26 Drew How do you try to gain weight?

22:27 Adam Well, I smoke.

22:28 Drew And how does it make you gain weight?

22:31 Adam Well, I guess I gain some momentarily before I exhale. And while I'm holding a cigarette, that's got to be a couple ounces. Lots of time I'll keep the pack on me and I got a Zippo lighter, it's got to be another 10 ounces, 12 when it's full. All right, so Randy smokes.

22:47 Drew Randy.

22:47 Adam And other than the smoking, Randy, how else do you try to put the pounds on?

22:52 Caller Well, I eat breakfast, I take a daily vitamin and all that.

22:55 Guest All right, hold on a second.

22:58 Drew Right.

22:58 Adam Let me get this down. He eats, what do we call that first one?

23:02 Drew Breakfast.

23:03 Adam Breakfast, when is that?

23:05 Drew He hasn't told us.

23:06 Adam All right, so he eats breakfast and he takes a multivitamin. A daily. I'm surprised he's not four or five, I'm surprised he's not morbidly obese with this kind of pace, breakfast and a multivitamin.

23:16 Guest Randy, what do you eat for breakfast?

23:19 Caller Bacon and eggs.

23:20 Adam Bacon and eggs, all right.

23:21 Milk, oat milk sometimes.

23:24 Adam All right, then what? You eat a nice lunch?

23:27 Caller Yeah, sometimes I skip lunch.

23:28 Oh, no.

23:29 Guest See, you can't be skipping, man, if you do that then.

23:31 Drew As you do, go get yourself some Insure Plus.

23:34 Caller Some Insure Plus?

23:35 Drew Yeah, and make a milkshake out of it.

23:37 Caller Okay.

23:37 Drew Put some protein powder in that too, and do that three times a day between meals.

23:42 Adam Or you get it.

23:43 Drew Don't miss any meals, ever.

23:44 Adam Get a job in production.

23:46 Caller Should I quit smoking too? I mean, would that help or?

23:48 Drew It'll help. It's important for your health overall. Nothing is more important than that.

23:53 Guest And get a girlfriend who can cook.

23:54 Caller Well, also, Dr. Drew is going to ask you if you have anything that's on that on your website.

23:59 Drew On weight gaining?

24:00 Caller Yeah.

24:01 Drew We have a dietitian that is on there Thursday evenings. You can meet with her. It's Elizabeth, a registered dietitian.

24:07 Adam Women, there's plenty of spindly guys who do fine with the ladies.

24:12 Drew Don't they have to be in rock bands, though?

24:13 Adam Yeah, you got to be able to play an instrument, yeah. You got to do that, but...

24:18 Guest Most big women like really skinny men.

24:20 Adam Yeah, they do.

24:21 Guest Yeah. I mean, Randy, most big women are attracted to very small men.

24:26 Adam Yeah, it's funny. It's like a compensation thing. It's like we've taken the couple's combined weight and made an average weight. It's like, I'm 225, he's 125. That average is out to be about 160. It's like, all right, fine. They're a perfect couple. To me, when you're a big woman and you're with a really skinny guy, it makes you look bigger. You should want to be with someone bigger.

24:49 Guest Well, actually, no, because it's too much work. Two big people together is just too much. You're both breathing really hard. Just can't do it. No. A big woman and a small man, it's just much easier.

25:00 Adam Yeah, I know. But like I said, it would make you look bigger.

25:04 Guest That's all right.

25:05 Adam That's all right?

25:06 Guest As long as you're cool with being big, yeah.

25:08 Adam You're cool, right?

25:09 Guest I'm very cool.

25:10 Adam Well, with all the oral sex you're getting and all the money you're making, of course. She's happy.

25:14 Guest Yes.

25:16 Adam Why don't you put some weight on us? You jolly me up a little bit. All right. We're going to-

25:22 Guest It'll make you believe.

25:24 Adam Yeah, make me believe too. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Dorien Wilson and Mo'Nique are all here from the Parkers. Monday nights, 8.30 on UPN. Dr. Drew is back for his whirlwind tour of Who Cares? And we'll be back after this.

25:45 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

26:15 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Our guests tonight from The Parkers, Monday night, 8.30 on UPN. Monique and Dorien Wilson are both here. And these are good guests. Thank you. We appreciate it. It'll be an easy show for me. Yeah. Thank you, honey.

26:37 Drew You can sit back, they talk.

26:39 Adam You know, people think because I host a show or I'm a comedian or something like that, that I'm competitive. Absolutely not. If someone wants to come in here one night and toe the line, God bless them. I mean, I'll be back tomorrow night. So you guys, just perform your asses off. I'm just going to lay back.

26:59 Guest We're taking over this.

27:01 Adam Fine.

27:01 Guest This is the Mo'Nique and Dorien Wilson show.

27:04 Adam Come on. Come tomorrow night, too.

27:05 Guest You're on black lines.

27:08 Guest Right.

27:09 Adam Jay?

27:10 Yeah. How's it going?

27:10 Adam Hey, Jay. What's up, Jay?

27:11 Hey, Mo'Nique. Hey, Dorien.

27:13 Caller Hey.

27:14 Adam What's up there, Jay? You're 21 years old.

27:16 Caller Hey, Adam?

27:17 Adam Yeah.

27:18 Caller There's nothing wrong with praising Jesus, man.

27:21 Adam Amen.

27:22 Guest Say it again. Say it again, Jay.

27:23 Caller Hey, nothing wrong with praising Jesus. All right. Hey, but let me in.

27:28 Adam Right.

27:29 Guest Till we get a witness.

27:31 Caller Yeah.

27:31 Guest I got the spirit.

27:33 Caller Go ahead, Jay. Longtime listener, third time caller.

27:36 Drew Whoa.

27:37 Caller Drew, I love drdrew.com.

27:39 Drew Oh, Jay, God bless you.

27:41 Caller One thing I wanted to say, little butt kissing time, I guess. But one thing I wanted to say is I recently quit smoking cigarettes and marijuana. And in the chat rooms, there are a couple of guys who are going through the same thing, and they know what I'm going through with the depression, and it's just great to be able to talk to someone that knows what I'm going through also.

28:02 Drew Yeah, I, you know, I tell you something, Adam. In fact, I brought you your car cover back. Do you see that sitting out there? That's your car cover.

28:09 Adam Oh, it is?

28:09 Drew And I brought you an adam.com computer case. I know you carry a computer everywhere with you all the time.

28:15 Adam Yeah, I never leave the house.

28:17 Drew One thing I learned being in cyberspace is how those communities really function, how intimate, and how involved it can be to be there supporting each other, how much little communities develop. It's just amazing.

28:28 Adam What does it have to do with my car cover?

28:30 Drew Oh, it just reminded me that I brought you that adam.com computer carrying case.

28:35 Adam I see.

28:35 Drew You got to follow my brain here.

28:37 Adam All right.

28:37 Drew And that I thought maybe you'd be interested in perhaps using your computer someday and actually finding out how these communities work.

28:43 Adam I will. I'm going to look into that next year.

28:46 Drew Sorry for not including me in my own little thought process.

28:48 Guest Adam, just say thank you. Shut us all out. Jay's like, what's happening?

28:53 Adam You had a call about car care, didn't you, Jay?

28:57 Drew Sorry, Jay. Well, thank you.

28:57 Guest Jay, how long has it been since you stopped?

29:00 Caller It's been, in a couple of hours, I'll make five weeks exactly.

29:04 Drew That's cool.

29:05 Caller Right, Jay.

29:05 Drew But listen, you're sort of getting a feel for what recovery is about, too. That's part of the process of recovery, is getting that connection with other people who have been through or are going through what you're going through. The next step is to actually work the 12 steps in an intimate fashion with one person, your sponsor.

29:20 Caller Yeah, well, okay, I know you hate to hear this. I'm not in recovery, but I'm getting a lot of support from my church, though.

29:26 Drew All right. No, I don't hate to hear that. Hey, listen, whatever works, but know that every church that I've been involved with that has understands how to deal with this problem will eventually refer you to some kind of 12-step process.

29:38 Guest But does marijuana really take that?

29:39 Drew Oh, yeah.

29:40 Guest A 12-step?

29:41 Drew One of the most common addictions I deal with right now.

29:43 Guest For you to go into treatment?

29:45 Drew It is profound.

29:47 Adam Drew, you should have been here where the Snoop Dogg was in here last week. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face.

29:52 Drew I'm so much smoking here. Bruce was freaked out.

29:54 Adam He's got a nice contact guy. It's a good thing I was high before the show started, or it would have really freaked me out.

30:00 Drew Anything else?

30:01 Adam That's my Maymay mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is my white rap name, by the way. Mayonnaise. You know with a Z at the end? Mayonnaise. Big in the white. Kick it. My name is Maynays.

30:14 Caller All right.

30:15 Next caller, please.

30:16 Caller Hey, Drew? Okay. The thing was I actually met someone on drew.com.

30:22 Drew Yeah.

30:23 Caller And her and I have been talking for, actually chatting for a little bit. And we held a conversation and we're supposed to meet when she comes to LA in a couple of weeks. Great. She sounds really interesting and, you know, we everything's pretty cool.

30:36 Drew You're both adults?

30:37 Caller You're right. Right. She's 18. I'm 21. She's about to be 19.

30:40 Guest Just be careful, Jay.

30:42 Caller The only problem is I don't know if this is going to be an issue, but I know she's white and I'm black. And I don't think she knows or that she's picked it up in my voice or something. And I know.

30:54 Guest Because I thought you were white.

30:55 Adam We didn't pick it up.

30:58 Drew Well, I think people should tell as much about who they in fact are before they meet. So there aren't any discomforts at that point. And so people are clear about what they're getting into. Now, it seems to me that your color should not enter into whether or not you guys can be have a relationship of some type. I think they'll be way down the list of problems. But on the other hand, if you don't tell her, you're sort of making an issue out of it.

31:23 Caller But I mean, what should I say? Hey, by the way, I'm black.

31:26 Drew I mean, I don't know how to bring it to you.

31:27 Guest You should just say, I'm black. I'm African-American.

31:30 Drew That or just email pictures of each other.

31:32 Guest Well, when you guys meet each other, are you going to tell her what you have on? Who are you going to be?

31:39 Caller I'm definitely going to tell her before we meet.

31:41 Drew All right, that's all.

31:42 Caller Definitely.

31:42 Guest Just tell her, you know what, if it'll make it easier, say to her, hey, when you come meet me at the restaurant, I'll be the black guy sitting in the chair with the red shirt, right? That way you'll just get her response right then and there.

31:56 Adam Hey, Jay?

31:57 Yeah.

31:58 Adam Don't you want to know what she looks like too? I mean, I know she's white, but-

32:02 Caller No, no, I kind of do. I know it's never for sure on the Internet or something like that. But you kind of do because she described herself already, but it was in a roundabout sort of way she described herself.

32:17 Adam Wasn't there that part, though, where you both described what you look like to each other?

32:21 Caller We were talking about so many other things.

32:23 Guest Why don't you left that part out?

32:25 Caller Right.

32:27 Adam She doesn't want to know.

32:28 Caller I mean, I think we're both attracted to people.

32:30 Drew Yeah. Exchange pictures. We know from radio that people's descriptions of themselves can be point to distorted.

32:36 Guest I used to work for a sex line. And I was a size 36, 24.

32:42 Adam Did you really work for it?

32:44 Guest Yes.

32:44 Adam You did?

32:44 Guest Yes. Yes.

32:46 Adam And would you have phone sex with guys?

32:48 Guest Actually, I had to train the girls how to do it.

32:52 Adam Oh, really?

32:52 Guest I worked inside the office. Yeah.

32:53 Caller Welcome to the hotline that connects large women with men who are warm.

33:00 Guest Don't do it.

33:01 Adam And you must have done it yourself, though, in order to train these women, right?

33:05 Guest Yeah.

33:05 Adam Yeah. How would that work?

33:06 Guest Let's hear your sexy voice.

33:08 Guest Well, actually, it's not so much the voice that gets them, but it's just like...

33:11 Guest Obviously.

33:12 Adam What is it?

33:13 Guest Hi, I'm Sasha.

33:14 Adam Hi, Sasha.

33:15 Guest And I'm blonde with blue eyes. How you doing, daddy?

33:19 Adam Doing good now. Yes.

33:22 Guest Let's do it, Adam.

33:23 Adam Where are you from, Sasha?

33:24 Guest I'm from Los Angeles.

33:26 Adam Wow. Are you some kind of model or something?

33:28 Guest Yes. I've been in Vogue and Elle. And yeah, I've been some...

33:33 Adam You've got to get a new agent... .playboy. Yeah. You've done all that work, and you're doing this for $750 an hour? You know what?

33:38 Guest I just love it for the kicks.

33:40 Adam Oh, it turns you on. Yes.

33:41 Drew It has all the answers.

33:42 Adam Yeah.

33:43 Guest Are you hot, daddy?

33:44 Adam I'm hot. Yes. I'm sweating. I'm about the brow, and ain't it? These are my two sweat spots. I like a blonde, though. I like a blue-eyed blonde. Are you blue-eyed?

33:55 Guest That's me, daddy.

33:56 Adam What's your figure like? You know, I like a woman who's kind of thin at the bottom, but big up top.

34:01 Guest Oh, I'm a 42, triple D.

34:03 Adam Natural?

34:04 Guest Yes.

34:05 Adam Oh, my God. And downstairs?

34:09 Guest Downstairs, I'm a 36.

34:11 Adam 36 around the hips?

34:12 Guest Yes.

34:12 Adam That's nice. How tall are you?

34:14 Guest I'm 5'8 and a half.

34:16 Adam And what do you weigh?

34:18 Guest 122.

34:19 Adam 122?

34:20 Guest Yes, daddy. Wow.

34:22 Adam That's nice. And long flowing, blonde hair and piercing blue eyes?

34:25 Guest Yes.

34:25 Adam All right. Let's start.

34:27 Guest Let's do it. Are you laying back, daddy?

34:31 Adam I'm actually in a phone booth with my pants around my ankles, right in front of the school yard. And it's over.

34:37 Guest That's all right, daddy. Just close your eyes. Okay. And think that you're laying with me. Are you doing that, daddy? Yeah, okay. Yes. Are you getting hot?

34:46 Adam I'm hot.

34:50 Guest Unacceptable.

34:50 Guest Oh, stop.

34:51 Adam Would you really train women to do this?

34:53 Guest Yes.

34:55 Adam And what are the five keys?

34:59 Guest The biggest key is-

35:00 Adam Don't talk about your goddamn kids.

35:03 Guest Well, no, because some girls will have their kids in the background. Yes, daddy. Shut that down. Oh, daddy. Oh, daddy, you are- Yes, but the biggest thing was to get them off the phone. Make them come and get them off the phone and get the next call.

35:17 Guest Now, see, I thought you were supposed to keep them on as long as possible.

35:20 Guest Here's the thing. It was $40 for 15 minutes, $50 for a half an hour, and $60 for two girls. So in the business that I did, I'll draw- You get the credit card number up front. So once we charge your card, our job is to get you off of that phone. We already have your money. So it's like we want to make you come and go as fast as we can.

35:43 Adam So you really want to get them inside of the 15. I mean, you want to get them early, and then get the next 40 pop.

35:49 Guest Oh yeah, and most calls last about four to five minutes, because once they call, they're already ready. They've been looking through the magazine, they're hot, they're ready, and a couple of those, yeah, daddy, ooh, daddy, they're like, oh, yeah, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes they had to be a mistress, yeah, it was, you know, kind of fun.

36:04 Adam I'm gonna love you all, oh, I gotta go.

36:08 Guest Next caller.

36:09 Adam Oh my god.

36:10 Guest You had some girls that were so asleep.

36:11 Adam I've never called one of those before.

36:13 Guest Don't do it, Adam, yes you have. I know your voice well.

36:17 Adam But most guys are drunk, aren't they?

36:19 Guest No.

36:19 Adam They're not drunk?

36:20 Guest We had this one guy, he was a mayor of a very small town, he would call every Friday. He never wanted to talk sex, though, he just wanted to talk.

36:28 Adam Just politics?

36:29 Guest No, just to talk. He said he just could not talk to people because he was the mayor, and he just wanted to talk. We knew about his daughter, we knew about his dogs, we knew about everything about his life. He just wanted to have a conversation.

36:39 Adam What the?

36:40 Caller Right.

36:42 Adam Yeah. Felicia, my 13-year-old, she lost a retainer, $146.

36:47 Guest Then we had a yes man. Yeah, the yes man will give his credit card number 4128. He will say 4128, yes ma'am, 5368, yes ma'am, and by the time you got the glass, God, he didn't care.

36:57 Adam What's the weirdest one? Is there anyone who wanted you to say somewhere?

37:00 Guest This man wanted this girl to be a dog, so he wanted her to bark. So she said, woof, woof. He said, be a little dog. I said, sir, we don't have animals working here. We can't take this call.

37:13 Adam To me, you get the Scooby-Doo voice when you ask me, are you horny? What are you wearing? I mean, that would be how, as an artist, I would perceive phone sex as a dog. I'd give them the Scooby voice.

37:30 Drew Astro or Astro.

37:32 Adam Yeah, Astro, Scooby, or maybe Deputy Hound, depending on how creative I was feeling. Scooby's horny. I'll do the thinning around here, Bubba Louie.

37:42 Drew Ruh-ruh.

37:45 Adam I'll do El Cabong and you do Astro. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. I told you this is going to be a good show. Why don't we come back and speak to Ashley, who's 15, who heard that baby oil is a good lubricant, and she wants to know if this can cause condom failure. We'll tell her after this.

38:14 Drew We'll be right back.

38:41 Adam Yep, it is the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Tonight, our guests from The Parkers, 8.30 Monday night on UPN, Monique and Dorien Wilson are both here.

38:54 Drew Hey, before we get into the whole sex line discussion, I didn't get to finish my thoughts about the chat rooms.

38:59 Adam Yes.

39:00 Drew If I could really quickly say, I think people when they meet for the first time after they've been in chat rooms, ought to each bring a friend with them. Because you really never know.

39:06 Adam Like an orgy or something?

39:07 Drew No, no, no. It ought to be a public place, and each ought to have a friend. Because you never know what kind of person is, what kind of out you're going to need. You really don't know until you meet face to face. I agree. I think meeting face to face should happen early in the relationship, like within a couple of weeks of chatting. It's time to get out of the fantasy and see if there's a real relationship here. The other thing he was worried about, the communities we've created at drdrew.com, I really don't think color would be an issue. We've had some great, great little communities developed, and I think that would be the farthest thing from a significant issue.

39:36 Adam The bring in the friend thing, there's no bigger bummer to a guy than when the girl says, I want to bring my...

39:40 Drew He brings a friend thing, you just do it as a policy, and then if everybody gets along, then you have another day. Do another day, yeah.

39:45 Guest I totally agree.

39:47 Adam All right.

39:47 Drew It's all part of the sort of getting out of the chat room policy, that's all. Right. Getting into reality.

39:52 Adam Let me explain what the bring the friend thing is gonna translate for the guys. You go pull the car around, I'll put the roofies into the drinks, and it'll be fine. You got the duct tape? Beautiful.

40:02 Drew Could be.

40:02 Adam Ashley? You're 15.

40:04 Caller Yeah.

40:05 Adam And you heard that baby oil.

40:08 Caller Actually, I read it.

40:10 Drew Any?

40:11 Adam You heard that baby oil can make condoms fail.

40:14 Caller Well, baby oil, vegetable oil, and in vaginal lubricants, and anti-fungal and anti-itch cream.

40:21 Adam And anti-itch cream?

40:23 Caller Yeah.

40:23 Adam Well, that's one powerful combination product there.

40:26 Caller Well, like different stuff.

40:29 Drew Yeah. Those are all, I believe, have some non-water-based lubricants in them.

40:33 Adam Well, baby oil is petroleum-based, but vegetable oil isn't petroleum-based. But that wouldn't damage a condom, would it?

40:43 Drew You know what? All I know is that non-water-based lubricants should be avoided. Right. So it really has to be water-based to be okay. And that's what you're talking about there, Ashley. They will dissolve the condom, cause them to fail.

40:54 Caller And where do I find if they're water-based? How do I know what's water-based?

40:58 Drew Just KY and what?

41:02 Adam Astraglide. Hey Ashley?

41:03 Caller Yes.

41:04 Guest Ashley, why are you having sex right now? You're 15, honey.

41:08 Adam What?

41:08 Drew I'm not.

41:09 Adam You're not. You're just preparing.

41:10 Caller Yes. I'm looking for a dumb life.

41:12 Adam Well, you-

41:13 Guest Prepare for five years from now.

41:15 Caller I'm waiting until there's big fat rock on my pretty little finger.

41:18 Guest All right, girl. I'll wait till you're 25. Because I still don't have a big fat rock on my finger. I have a wonderful rock on my finger, thank you, man.

41:27 Guest You better clean that up.

41:29 Adam All right, Ashley.

41:30 Guest Hey, Mark.

41:32 Drew Keep reading. It's good for you.

41:33 Adam Sarah?

41:34 Caller What was that?

41:35 Adam You're 14. That was from the radio show.

41:38 Drew It's us.

41:39 Caller Hello?

41:40 Adam Hello, Sarah.

41:41 Caller Hi. Well, actually, I went to the mall one day to meet some guys with my friend, and we were going to go screw them and stuff.

41:53 Drew You're 14?

41:54 Caller Yeah.

41:56 Caller But I decided like his mom was home, so we like couldn't, and I'm not into him anymore. I'm like into this other guy. I was just like, I have some questions like about birth control and stuff. Like I was rendering, because I'm 14, I was rendering if I could go to the doctor and get for myself.

42:17 Adam What year were you born?

42:18 Caller In 85.

42:21 Guest Well, you know what, yes, you can go to a clinic and you can get free birth control pills. But what concerns me is that no, actually now you can go, if you're sexually active, they will give you pills. They will do it. But my biggest concern with you, my biggest problem for you is you're 14 years old, and you said we were going to go to the mall to meet these guys to screw them. You don't even know what you're doing. So you get ready to take a pill and not knowing what you're doing, you're going to get damaged and you're going to be very confused. So what you need to do is go to the mall and buy some books and read them.

42:55 Caller People are telling me that stuff, but I completely don't agree with that and like my friends don't either.

42:59 Guest Girl, well, you know what? You're damaging your little 14-year-old body. Doesn't make a difference if you agree or not. You're 14.

43:05 Guest But you know what, Ashley, if you are going to have sex, the pill is not going to do anything to prevent diseases and stuff like that.

43:13 Caller I know. I use a condom, too.

43:16 Guest Condoms don't prevent herpes.

43:18 Caller I'm aware of that.

43:19 Guest Are you really?

43:20 Caller Yes.

43:20 Guest How many guys have you slept with?

43:22 Caller I haven't slept with any guys yet.

43:23 Guest So you're still a virgin.

43:24 Guest Why are you going to start?

43:26 Caller Because it sounds fun.

43:29 Guest Trust me, honey.

43:30 Guest It's not fun. Don't do it.

43:31 Guest Well, it is now because I'm married. But before I got married, it was not fun.

43:35 Adam This is this is advice from someone who ran a phone sex for 14 years before she broke into show business.

43:42 Guest Don't do it, Adam. This is the mother fantasy over the phone.

43:46 Adam Right.

43:47 Guest Trust me, sweetie. You know what? It's not the hype, especially when you're not in love and it's not that special. Someone, if you were in love and it was that special someone. And I would say, you know, protect yourself and all that. But right now, it's not time, Mike.

44:00 Drew You know, young people do and this is what she's up to and she's looking for fun, is when they have- Go bowling. Well, when they have really sort of abandoning or powerless experiences early in childhood, they don't develop the internal strategies to be able to deal with feelings. And so all there are then are things outside of yourself to help yourself feel better. And our culture says, well, you feel better. You drive fast cars, you have sex, you have drugs. These are the way you feel good, have fun, be better. And in fact, those do work in the moment. That's why people do them. It's their only strategy for helping themselves feel okay. But it leaves you feeling ultimately worse, ashamed, and more empty.

44:37 Guest The same night.

44:38 Drew And more confused.

44:39 Adam Mike?

44:40 Caller Yeah, hi guys.

44:41 Adam You're 23, what's up?

44:42 Guest Hey Mike.

44:43 Caller Yeah, well, first of all, I wanted to say, Adam and Drew, I'm kind of getting excited because I'm going to see you guys when you're up here at Oregon State University in a couple days.

44:50 Drew It's Saturday, right? You know, I've got to go. I'm going to Chicago for two appearances, the two days before that, Adam. I'm going to miss Thursday. Thursday, by the way.

44:58 Adam Good riddance.

44:59 Drew Oh, no, wait. I'm going to broadcast from there.

45:01 Adam Oh, boy.

45:02 Guest Adam is spit out.

45:04 Adam Mike?

45:05 Drew Yes.

45:05 Adam Yeah, so what's up? So we'll see you in Oregon on Saturday, right?

45:09 Caller We'll see you on Saturday in Oregon.

45:10 Adam All right.

45:11 Caller Okay. What my problem is here, I got a roommate, and he, for most of the time, I've known him. He's, you know, he's smoked weed, and I got a lot of friends who do, too. You know, fortunately for my sake, I really have never gotten into that. But, and I don't really have a problem with it, but what happened was, is just recently, he got into, he thought it was a good idea to start selling, selling it out of our house. And, you know, this scares me because, mainly because I'm, I'm kind of, I'm training to be an airline pilot, and so I basically can't have anything on my record. Well, you know, I've been told by people that I can get in trouble if I know about that.

45:52 Drew You're housing a felon, yeah, you're, it's commission, you're, yeah, you've got it, you've got, now, especially as a record that you know.

46:00 Adam How many roommates do you have?

46:02 Caller Just this one.

46:02 Drew Whose house is it? Whose house? I mean, is it your lease?

46:06 Caller Well, actually, both our names are on the lease, but, you know, we basically both pay all the, you know, half the bills, we split the bills and stuff.

46:14 Adam All right, so tell them to get an ice cream truck and pedal down the street or something.

46:18 Drew Right, can you tell them these concerns and why?

46:22 Caller Well, you know, yeah, I've kind of brought it up. I mean, he knows that I don't like it, really, but he's seen, I mean, he's been, you know, he's been doing all right with it, so he doesn't seem to want to stop. And I'm wondering, you know, is this something where I need to just really confront him?

46:37 Drew Yes, yes, absolutely. You're housing a felon and you know it.

46:40 Guest Because this is going to affect you. It's long down the line. He's not going to be the one that's ultimately responsible for it, and it's going to come down on you. So if you're trying to do something with your life and he's, you know, jeopardizing that, you need to tell, not kind of tell him, but emphatically tell him that this isn't going to happen here.

46:59 Adam But also, don't be scared to dump a roommate. Right. I wish someone would have told me this. I've had a thousand horrible drug addict, slacker roommates in my, no count roommates in my life, and I wish someone would have just tapped me on the shoulder and said, cut your losses. Put him out. Just put him out or you leave. All right. And you know, you got that excuse. It's like, well, I got a security deposit. Let's forget it. Nothing's worth your health.

47:26 Guest Because the one thing about drug dealers, greed sets in, and especially if he's doing OK with it, he's not going to stop.

47:32 Drew But it also sustains the disease.

47:33 Guest So put the drug dealer out.

47:35 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. Drew, when we come back, we'll speak to Micah, who gets no pleasure from oral sex. I'm going to explain to him how he can kill himself.

47:48 Drew It's a woman. It's a woman. Somebody can explain the same thing.

47:50 Guest Yeah, I'm with you on that one.

47:50 Adam Oh, it is a woman? Is Micah a woman's name?

47:53 Drew I don't know what it sounds like.

47:54 Guest Micah?

47:54 Adam Micah? Yeah. All right. All right. Drew, thanks for that. Mr. Instinct over there. You ought to work for the Psychic Friends. We'll be back after this.

48:05 Caller Love Line, LeBanah Pearl and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

48:41 Adam Oh, it's Loveline. All right, we're going to take our traditional 10-second timeout that we take at the top of the hour, and we'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

48:51 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:06 Adam It is Loveline. Dorien Wilson is here, and so is Mo'Nique from The Parkers. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. The Parkers can be found on UPN Monday nights at 8.30, and...

49:18 Drew I'm surprised we're not talking more about the Super Bowl tonight.

49:21 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, I'm glad the Rams won. And it was a good game.

49:25 Drew It was a great game.

49:26 Guest It was a wonderful game.

49:27 Drew Super Bowl is usually a crappy game.

49:28 Adam I was sitting in the room with two compulsive gamblers.

49:31 Drew Oh, geez. Yeah, Jimmy and Daniel.

49:34 Adam Daniel and Cousin Sal. And they both had more money than they were comfortable talking about on the game.

49:41 Drew On which team?

49:42 Adam They had it on the Rams. And the Rams were up 16-0. And they were giving away seven points. And they were feeling pretty good about themselves. And then they tied the game, I think, 16-all. And there's about two and a half minutes left or so. And these guys were seeing however much. Daniel said, basically, I took all the losing I'd done. All year. And was going to make up for it.

50:05 Drew Oh, no. That's a compulsive gambler.

50:07 Adam And these guys, these guys sit around and play card games where it gets up to $1,100 bucks a hand and stuff. I mean, it's crazy. So I knew they were talking about thousands of dollars. And when the Rams scored that touchdown to go up by seven, they went nuts because they were just happy to push.

50:25 Drew Those that didn't beat the spread, they just pushed.

50:27 Adam They just pushed. It's amazing. You know, those guys with that spread, you know, the spread on that game, seven points. Rams win by seven. I mean, they, it's amazing what those bastards are doing.

50:38 Caller I won.

50:39 Adam They were swimming.

50:40 Guest I think I won like $60 or something.

50:43 Adam Oh, really?

50:43 Caller Yeah.

50:44 Adam Were you in some kind of pool or something?

50:45 Guest Yeah, I played in a pool. Yeah.

50:47 Guest You know nothing about that.

50:49 Guest No, I don't know how to do it, but I know what the score had to be for me to win my little $60.

50:55 Adam That pisses off the guys who have been handicamping all year. Yeah, there's nothing worse. You got these guys here and I go, Warner's used to playing on the carpet. Marshall Faulk, now he came from San Diego. Now, they were on natural surface there, but he's a carpet player too.

51:10 Drew San Jose.

51:11 Adam I think now, and they start to, Eddie George is nursing a hamstring, and I don't think he's 100 percent, and then at the end, some chick from the secretarial pool takes all the money. Meanwhile, the guy is subscribing to 15 magazines, has been online the whole, nope, it still boils down to basically a coin toss.

51:29 Guest Exactly.

51:30 Adam Because once they put that spread in there, that takes all the guesswork out of it, and then it's just, they get that spread so good that it's a coin toss. I mean, it's 50-50.

51:41 Drew Well, it's probably a little bit in their favor.

51:43 Adam Well, they get the VIG, as they say. Micah?

51:46 Yeah.

51:47 Adam You're 23?

51:49 Caller Yes, that's right.

51:49 Adam And you get no pleasure from receiving oral sex?

51:53 Caller Yeah, it's like real frustrating because I'm trying to save myself till marriage, but...

51:58 Drew You're gay.

51:59 Caller Huh?

52:00 Drew I didn't say nothing.

52:01 Adam You're trying to save yourself so you don't want to have intercourse, right?

52:07 Caller Yeah, yeah, pretty, yeah, exactly.

52:09 Adam So you just have the oral sex?

52:12 Caller Well, I want to, but yeah, so I try to get my kicks through oral sex and I just started doing that, but it's like I can't reach orgasm and it's like this real frustrating.

52:23 Guest You know what's happening, Micah? Because you do want to save yourself for that special, for your wife, for marriage. Mentally, you can't enjoy that.

52:31 Drew No, men don't work like that.

52:33 Guest Well, actually, they do.

52:34 Drew No.

52:35 Guest Well, you know what? If mentally, if mentally, your mind is a very, very funny thing and it's a thin line.

52:41 Drew For women.

52:42 Guest Mentally. But if he's saying to you, you know what? I cannot enjoy this unless she's biting, unless she has these really big teeth.

52:49 Guest She may not be doing it right, though.

52:51 Guest No.

52:52 Guest Micah, find somebody else.

52:53 Guest Even if she's biting, I mean, if you're saying that that's men can get it, it doesn't make a difference.

52:58 Adam Now, I agree with Mo'Nique on this one. If he's guilt-ridden and very pious and feels badly about it, he may not be able to enjoy it.

53:05 Drew Is that what you mean by that sort of muscle?

53:07 Guest Right. Mentally.

53:08 Drew But you mean guilty and uncomfortable?

53:09 Adam Right.

53:10 Guest He's blocking that out because he knows, I want this for my wife and no other woman should be doing this.

53:16 Adam Who's doing it? Do you have a girlfriend?

53:19 Caller No, just some, well, kind of at the time, I guess.

53:22 Drew Adam, let me paint a scenario. There's an earthquake, a plane's about to crash over your house, and your grandma's walking into the room.

53:31 Adam I put her down for oral sex. Is that what you're saying?

53:33 Drew Would you have difficulty coming?

53:36 Adam Uh, with grandma?

53:37 Drew Yeah. Well, no, it's not for her.

53:38 Adam She took her teeth out, I think.

53:40 Drew Not for her. She's walking in, and somebody else is doing it. Would it take a couple extra seconds?

53:45 Adam Hey, Drew, you know I masturbate when I get home. Why are you adding time for that, with talking about my grandma and a plane crashing into my house? I have to go down in the basement and masturbate now. You understand? Take the phone off the hook.

53:56 Guest Give you a visual, though.

53:58 Drew You understand my point?

53:58 Adam Yes. Most guys, but if a guy's very religious and very guilty, this could be getting in the way.

54:04 Drew Anxiety makes it all not work.

54:06 Adam You find your future wife and you will enjoy the oral sex that she affords you before you have the intercourse in the marriage, all right?

54:15 Caller Well, you think there's any way I could have... I mean, I really would love to be able to have good oral sex and stuff before marriage.

54:22 Drew Are you on medication?

54:24 Caller No, not at all.

54:24 Adam Micah, you think God doesn't know you're getting a BJ from some chick you don't even like?

54:29 Caller I see it as a compromise, I suppose.

54:32 Adam All right.

54:33 Drew It's his version. All right.

54:34 Adam Hey, listen, you retard. This is the thing that drives me nuts about religion. If you're going to be religious, go ahead and do it. Do not try to win out on a technicality. You got blow jobs from a thousand different Asian hookers, but you didn't have intercourse and you saved it for marriage. Therefore, you're bound for heaven. Come on, Micah, don't be an idiot. You turn religion into something even more foolish than it already sounds when you start getting into these technicalities, you idiot. Just go have sex and forget about the technicality or don't do anything, but don't just focus on oral sex so you can remain a virgin until your marriage. By the way, what if you married a woman who said, no, I'm a virgin too, but I blew an entire rugby team on one weekend? Would you be happy about that?

55:25 Caller I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care if my girlfriend is not a virgin or my future wife is not a virgin. I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's just me personally and my relationship with God, I feel.

55:34 Guest And you keep that relationship, sweetie, and you do what's going to work for you.

55:38 Adam That's right.

55:38 Caller Could I ask you one more question?

55:40 Guest Yes.

55:40 Caller Is there any advice you give me on maybe relaxing or something that I might be able to get to work out?

55:47 Adam I find that if I read the Bible during oral sex, it helps soothe me, aloud.

55:53 Drew Know that anxiety makes things not work.

55:56 Guest And watch a good movie, Micah.

55:59 Adam During oral sex?

56:01 Guest Yeah.

56:02 Adam Listen, no woman is going to put up with that. Oh, please. He's watching the Guns of Navarone or A Bridge Over the River Kwai while he's getting oral sex and she's not pissed off.

56:13 Guest Micah, there's a wonderful movie you could watch, a wonderful adult movie, Jake Snead.

56:18 Adam Jake Snead?

56:19 Guest Yes.

56:19 Adam Who's that?

56:20 Guest It's a wonderful adult movie. Adam.

56:22 Adam I don't know Jake Snead. I don't know. I don't find all of them. What? I've never heard of Jake Snead.

56:28 Guest What? I will send you some.

56:29 Adam What's up with Jake Snead?

56:31 Caller What's the scenario?

56:32 Guest There is none. What the?

56:34 Guest They have story lines. Did you put it in?

56:36 Guest Did it, did it, did it, did it, did it.

56:39 Guest Done.

56:39 Adam Go Jake. Go Jake.

56:40 Drew Adam, wait a minute. I'm just absolutely flabbergasted. An adult film you've only not seen, not heard of?

56:48 Adam Listen, even the best of us can be stumped once in a while. Wow. You know what I mean? Even like the grand champion at Jeopardy doesn't know every trivia question.

56:57 Guest Adam, I will send you.

56:58 Adam Would you?

56:59 Guest A couple, yes. A couple copies.

57:01 Adam All right.

57:01 Guest I have a library.

57:02 Drew Brian.

57:03 Adam Brian.

57:05 Yeah.

57:06 Adam You're 20. What's up?

57:10 Caller Well, the thing is I had a girlfriend like almost two years ago and she lost her virginity to me and everything. And like after we broke up, she started sleeping around. And ever since then, like I've been trying to find a nice girl, you know, that will stick with me. And I've just been attracted to like, like slut, you know, they just kind of cheat on me. And all right.

57:38 Adam So what's wrong with you?

57:40 Caller Well, I think like, like I'll go out with the girl and I hear a reputation and I'll think that they're, you know, like good girls and everything. And people tell me about them and tell me that, you know, they're no good and I'll just stick with them and, you know, just so you idealize them. Yeah.

57:59 Drew You don't want to deal with reality. Why is that?

58:03 Caller I have no clue. It's just like basically basically the reason why I think it is is because like I'm getting these girls and stop.

58:13 Drew Did your mom drink a little bit? Did your mom drink a little bit?

58:16 Caller Drink?

58:16 Drew Drink.

58:17 Caller No.

58:18 Drew Dad?

58:19 Caller Um, yeah, well, I'm I'm an alcoholic.

58:24 Drew Yeah, but who's the alcoholic in your parents?

58:26 Caller Um, my dad and my grandpa. Okay.

58:29 Adam You drunk now?

58:30 Caller Yes.

58:31 Adam All right. Well, at least he's honest.

58:33 Drew Yeah. And and mom, what's up with her?

58:36 Caller Um, she just got married.

58:39 Drew So dad left. Dad's an alcoholic left.

58:42 Caller Well, he left when I was about, um, a year old. And he does. I never found out he drank a lot until, like, probably a month ago or something.

58:54 Drew Okay.

58:55 Guest So you don't know. Do you know your father?

58:57 Caller Yeah, I know him.

58:58 Guest Okay.

58:58 Drew And mom, what's up with her?

59:01 Caller Um, she married some guy, like, two years ago.

59:04 Drew But what's up with her? What's how she sort of let you down?

59:09 Caller Excuse me?

59:10 Drew Has she let you down in some way?

59:12 Caller No, no, not at all.

59:13 Drew All right.

59:14 Adam Well, then stop dating in the sluts. And listen, Brian, maybe you should work on your own alcoholism. I think that'd be the first step. And then you'll clear your mind up and you'll find yourself a little more suitable for you.

59:27 Caller Well, the thing is, I dated this girl for, like, six months.

59:30 Guest Brian, why did you break up with your girlfriend in the first place?

59:33 Caller Well, like, the thing is, I broke up with her probably five times until she finally ended and I treat her really bad because I knew I could, you know?

59:44 Drew There's much more going on here.

59:47 Adam Hey, Brian?

59:48 Caller Yeah.

59:48 Adam Listen, you don't deserve a good woman. You're not a great guy and you have a substance problem.

59:54 Caller No, no. But the thing is, I wasn't drinking when I was with her. Like, I wasn't drinking at all because she got me.

1:00:00 Adam Listen, you treated her poorly. Brian, you got a lot of issues with women and you're going to find the bad ones because that feeds into your drama and your issues. You understand, you can't act out unless they've acted out sometime. It's a horrible scene. You got to sober up and listen, I'm done talking to you.

1:00:19 Drew You got to get in. There's no buts. You've got to get into a program. You have to go to 12 step. You got to deal with the alcoholism first. In the process of that, you're going to find that you have some significant co-dependency issues, which is what causes you to idealize these women and to feel entitled to more.

1:00:35 Adam Chyanna?

1:00:36 Yeah, hi.

1:00:36 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:00:37 Caller Yeah. My boyfriend has the human papillomavirus.

1:00:42 Drew Warts.

1:00:42 Caller Yeah. And what I want to know is, like I was doing some research online and it was saying that even like any contact at all, even with a condom can spread it.

1:00:52 Drew Potentially, but not, you know, yeah, potentially.

1:00:55 Caller Does that mean that like no sex at all, like no oral sex or no regular sex, or is there like some way to protect myself?

1:01:02 Drew Well, the condom will protect you. It just is not 100 percent, right?

1:01:05 Guest And definitely do not do oral sex.

1:01:07 Adam Oh, wait a minute now.

1:01:08 Guest No, not with warts.

1:01:09 Adam Let's not get hasty.

1:01:11 Guest Not with warts.

1:01:12 I don't really want that in my mouth.

1:01:13 Drew Hang on a second.

1:01:13 Adam What if you get the warts in your mouth? We never talked to anyone who got any warts in their mouth.

1:01:17 Guest No.

1:01:19 Drew What do you say?

1:01:19 Guest What do you know on the con? With contact, it can come around the lips.

1:01:25 Drew Warts?

1:01:26 Guest Yes.

1:01:26 Caller I read that they've appeared in throats before.

1:01:29 Drew Yeah, I've heard of that too, but I've never seen it.

1:01:32 Adam When have you seen that, Mo'Nique?

1:01:34 Guest I have a doctorate, Adam.

1:01:36 Adam In what? Phone sex?

1:01:38 Please.

1:01:40 Guest My thing is this, I'd rather be safe than sorry. If there is 1 percent, one slight chance that it could be, then don't do it.

1:01:49 Drew All right.

1:01:50 Adam Hold on a second.

1:01:51 Drew Here's the problem.

1:01:52 Adam Wait, will you shut up, Drew? I'll tell you what the problem is.

1:01:54 Drew Well, the problem is, wart viruses are basically one out of two people out there have them. They're extremely common.

1:02:00 Adam But the breakouts, that means two of us have it.

1:02:03 Drew Yeah, probably two of us.

1:02:04 Caller Adam and Dory.

1:02:06 Adam And Dory. All right.

1:02:08 Drew I wasn't going to say anything. What we're saying is nobody can ever have sex. If there's any possibility of transmission, everybody should see us having a sex period.

1:02:16 Adam I'm saying, Mo'Nique, it's easy for you to sit here and say, don't ever have oral sex with a guy. But these people are trying to have a relationship. You can't just say, don't have sex or don't have oral sex.

1:02:27 Guest No, no, no. And what I will say to Jenna is Jenna, have all the sex you want and have a great sex life. My thing to you is be careful. If you know that your boyfriend or your maid is having an outbreak, then you know that's not the time.

1:02:40 Drew Well, no, no, no, no. You're confusing herpes and warts. Warts, you're contagious all the time no matter what.

1:02:45 Guest Well, then don't do it ever.

1:02:47 Drew You're more contagious if there's warts present.

1:02:49 Adam Who do you know who's ever had warts transferred from a penis to their mouth? I've never seen anyone with warts on their lips.

1:02:55 Guest They have so much research. They have pictures of that.

1:02:57 Adam You're thinking of herpes. You've never seen warts. Go find me a picture of warts on the mouth.

1:03:01 Guest Let's ask the doctor.

1:03:02 Drew It can happen. I've never seen it. Let him talk.

1:03:04 Adam It's never happened. It has happened. He's never seen it.

1:03:07 Guest You have it.

1:03:09 Drew He's got herpes.

1:03:11 Guest That's herpes. That's the difference.

1:03:12 Adam I got crabs. I got AIDS and I got herpes.

1:03:16 Guest No warts.

1:03:16 Adam I don't have warts. And that's a speech I give the ladies.

1:03:19 Guest Don't do it.

1:03:20 Adam Before we head into the boudoir.

1:03:21 Guest And that's a plus. That's a selling point.

1:03:23 Adam Yeah. Because I always finish it with, here's the good news.

1:03:27 Caller Don't do it.

1:03:29 Adam I have syphilis, gonorrhea, the hiv, all the crabs, genital and oral herpes. But I do not have warts yet. I tell them.

1:03:40 Guest She will say to you, but I do. So now we eat.

1:03:43 Adam Let's go for broke.

1:03:44 Guest Amy?

1:03:45 Drew It's a complex issue. Let me just finish, Amy, if you don't mind. Women, obviously, it increases the risk of cervical cancer. It's particular subtypes that do. It's the persistent infections that tend to be associated with cervical cancer. There are many subtypes of wart virus that are not a big deal. And there's no way to delineate which is which. Condoms are the best way to protect yourself, but they're not 100 percent. You want to control the warts if you have them. They're more contagious if you have actual visible or warts present. And they do tend to spread and they can get into the anus and increase your risk of anal cancer.

1:04:16 Adam No, that's rough. Yeah. Hey, Amy?

1:04:19 Drew Yeah.

1:04:20 Adam Yeah, see, I would never get them in the anus because I would never have the applicator stick that's necessary to put them there near my anus.

1:04:28 Drew They can actually propagate themselves all the way under the ground.

1:04:32 Adam I don't care if I got to walk on my hands. I'm not going to get in a position where I can be anally propagated.

1:04:37 Guest Don't do it.

1:04:38 Drew Yikes. You've got that sort of forest feature that kind of keeps everything out.

1:04:44 Adam Thank God. That's right. It's too thick down there. The warts can't see what's going on.

1:04:49 They can't get through. Okay.

1:04:49 Guest Y'all share it too much.

1:04:51 Guest Stop it. Hey, Amy.

1:04:53 Yeah. Hi.

1:04:53 Adam You're 21. What's up?

1:04:55 Caller I get cold sores on my lips. And I've been told that if you have oral sex, when you have those, that they can spread and turn into herpes and stuff like that.

1:05:02 Drew True.

1:05:03 Caller True. So I just want to know how long they're contagious for.

1:05:05 Drew Till the lesion is completely dried up and gone, essentially. So the scabs fall off.

1:05:11 Caller Dry it up or completely gone?

1:05:13 Drew Well, you know, you get a little rough spot there, left behind. That's OK. But the scabs got to be off.

1:05:18 Caller And it stays like red for a little while, even when the scabs are gone. That's OK. But just.

1:05:21 Drew It should be OK. It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell on those things.

1:05:25 Adam You play it safe.

1:05:26 Caller Yeah, I play it. I mean, I haven't had oral sex or anything. I like kiss my boyfriend, but I was just curious, like, how long I should wait.

1:05:32 Drew It's kind of like chicken pox.

1:05:33 Caller It's still like a little red spot.

1:05:34 Drew It's a lot like chicken pox. You know, when kids have chicken pox, I always say wait till the scabs are off. The crusts are off. It's the same idea. Herpes is the same kind of virus as chicken pox.

1:05:43 Guest What do you have that's susceptible to them all the time?

1:05:47 Drew Herpes?

1:05:48 Guest The coleslaw.

1:05:50 Drew Yeah, that's herpes. It's just recurrent.

1:05:52 Adam Michelle?

1:05:53 Caller Oh, hi.

1:05:54 Guest Hey, Michelle.

1:05:55 Caller This question is actually more for Adam, but I am a student. I live in a dormitory, and my roommate just got her boyfriend, and they're having sex in the room while I'm there, while I'm sleeping. And I normally sleep through it, and I never knew about it. But then, like, I woke up one night, you know, to go to the restroom or whatever, and I heard them, and they're giggling. And then I was like, okay, that's really creepy. And so I asked them not to do it again, and they said, oh, no, no, they'll never do it again. But then they keep on doing it. And then I've heard through the rumor mill that they kind of like doing it while I'm there, like, so they wouldn't get caught and stuff. Okay, so this really bugs me, right?

1:06:32 Adam So they wouldn't get caught?

1:06:33 Drew Where are you in school?

1:06:34 Caller Oh, I go to UC Davis, but right now I'm home because they've driven me out of my room.

1:06:38 Drew Oh my god.

1:06:39 Adam What do you mean so that you, they wouldn't get caught?

1:06:42 Drew Like the voyeuristic quality. Oh.

1:06:43 Adam Yeah, but so they wouldn't get caught? Did she misspeak?

1:06:45 Caller So they would get caught, or I don't know what the hell they're doing. I don't know.

1:06:48 Drew She doesn't know why they'd be into it, so she doesn't get that.

1:06:51 Caller It's just creepy, and I asked my RA, which is my resident advisor. Good.

1:06:54 Drew Okay.

1:06:55 Caller And then she said, she said that I should just grow up because this is the way dorm life happens.

1:07:01 Drew Wow.

1:07:01 Adam Wow, I like that bitter lesbian RA. That's great.

1:07:06 Drew That's shocking. That is shocking.

1:07:08 Adam I like that.

1:07:08 Caller So I went up to my resident director.

1:07:11 Drew Good.

1:07:11 Caller Above him and above her, and he said, the only thing I can do is bring a sexual harassment suit against her, but the university won't give me my money back to leave the dormitory, so. Wow.

1:07:21 Caller What do you want to do?

1:07:23 Drew All right.

1:07:23 Adam Kick her butt.

1:07:24 Caller I need some revenge plot.

1:07:25 Drew This is when you sick your parents on them. Seriously, sick your parents on the school. They're the one paying the cost.

1:07:29 Adam No, here's what you do. You tell the RA she has a hot plate in her room, and they come up with a SWAT team. And take her out of there.

1:07:37 Drew A pod plant.

1:07:37 Guest Plant some drugs. There you go.

1:07:39 Adam Hey, Michelle. Yeah? It seems like you've exhausted a few resources. What if you said to her, listen, I find this, I find it distracting and it's really, it's a lack of respect on your part toward me. Absolutely. We're living in close quarters. We'd like to get along well. I'd like to respect you. I hope you respect me. And I'm going to be at parties. I'll be at the library. You'll have time to get it on. We'll work out a little schedule. What do you think she'd say to that?

1:08:08 Caller No, I've asked her so many times, please don't. I'm like, I'm never in the room anyway.

1:08:13 Drew You've said there's times when I'm away.

1:08:15 Caller Yeah. But I don't know. I asked if they could go to his room or something like that.

1:08:21 Drew So she thinks that they like to have her doing this.

1:08:25 Adam All right.

1:08:26 Guest She needs to get up and turn on all the lights and just sit there and read.

1:08:32 Drew No, but they're into that.

1:08:33 Adam Now, you got to get a squirt gun. Like when a cat jumps up on the sofa and you squirt it with a squirt gun, squirter.

1:08:40 Caller These are super soaker.

1:08:41 Guest Yeah.

1:08:43 Adam There you go.

1:08:43 Drew Those are real cool water. Those are squirt guns like machine guns. But I don't know. Seriously, we should try to give her something constructive. No, I know you don't care. I do. But let's just go with something constructive.

1:08:53 Adam You need to go put a fire under the person who's under the RA or over the RA and tell them that they got to take care of business because you're about to talk to your folks and this is going to turn into a big deal. It's going to come down to them. They're going to get into trouble. I think she's got to go back to those people and tell them to do their job.

1:09:10 Drew Well, it's literally threatening a suit against your roommate. That's bizarre.

1:09:14 Guest I think it should just be a little more aggressive in getting her point across.

1:09:18 Guest Instead of asking, telling.

1:09:20 Guest Right.

1:09:20 Adam Katie?

1:09:21 Caller Yes.

1:09:21 Adam You're 16.

1:09:22 Caller What's up?

1:09:23 Drew Yes.

1:09:24 Caller I've been getting the Depo-Provera shot. I've gotten it for the second time now, and I've been lactating.

1:09:33 Caller I've noticed that.

1:09:35 Drew Have your periods stopped too?

1:09:37 Caller Yes, they have.

1:09:39 Drew Hey, make sure you're not pregnant.

1:09:42 Caller I did a pregnancy test, and I went down to Planned Parenthood and took one two weeks ago.

1:09:47 Drew Very enlightened college.

1:09:49 Adam She's probably on Depo because she already has four kids or something, right?

1:09:52 Caller No.

1:09:53 Adam Why are you on the depo?

1:09:56 Caller Just birth control.

1:09:57 Guest But you know, that has so many side effects. That has so many side effects.

1:10:01 Drew Well, Adam, you be Katie.

1:10:03 Adam Okay.

1:10:03 Drew Why are you on the depo, Katie?

1:10:05 Adam Birth control.

1:10:06 Drew Okay.

1:10:07 Caller Okay.

1:10:08 Adam Not just because the shot feels good.

1:10:10 Caller No, it's a lot easier than remembering to take the pill.

1:10:14 Drew They suster out to be somebody that wouldn't do that.

1:10:16 Adam Did somebody suggest that to you?

1:10:18 Caller Taking the depo?

1:10:19 Adam Yeah.

1:10:20 Caller No, there's many options.

1:10:24 Adam Have you been pregnant before?

1:10:26 Caller No, I haven't.

1:10:27 Adam Wow.

1:10:27 Drew Any other side effects other than lactation? No.

1:10:30 Caller I haven't gained weight.

1:10:31 Guest Are you getting headaches?

1:10:33 Caller No.

1:10:33 Guest Flashes?

1:10:34 Drew No. Mood's okay?

1:10:36 Caller Uh-huh.

1:10:36 Drew Good. That's supposed to work. All right.

1:10:38 Adam So what should she do? She's not pregnant?

1:10:40 Drew She should talk to the- Medication is, other than pregnancy, is the second most common reason for this problem. But she also had to get a thyroid check and a prolactin level just to be complete. But it probably is the Depth of Proval.

1:10:50 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Lynn, who's 20. She was raped at 12. And now it's affecting her relationships. So we'll see if we can help her get to the bottom of that after this.

1:11:03 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:11:04 Adam Okay.

1:11:05 Caller Let's do it.

1:11:07 Caller Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:11 Loveline will be right back.

1:11:13 Adam Well, here's how it's family. Yep. Oh, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dorien Wilson and Monique are both here from the Parkers. Monday nights, 8.30 UPN. Now, when we left off, we were talking about, talking to Lynn, whose 20 was raped at 12. And who raped you at 12?

1:12:16 Caller He was a really close friend of the family.

1:12:19 Drew How old was he?

1:12:21 Caller I'm sorry?

1:12:21 Drew How old was he?

1:12:23 Caller He was probably late, early 30s.

1:12:27 Adam And what did your folks do about this?

1:12:30 Caller They didn't find out until just recently, actually.

1:12:34 Drew What did they do when they found out?

1:12:38 Caller Nothing, actually.

1:12:39 Drew Why do we know that? I was sensing that too.

1:12:42 Adam Magically, everyone who calls this show and was raped, I always think, bad family, something's up, and then it turns out to be some friend of the family.

1:12:52 Caller I don't have the best family.

1:12:54 Adam No, we know that. Because listen, they wouldn't have friends who could rape their daughter. I mean, people always want to extract that from the equation. You should not be good friends with someone who is capable of raping your 12-year-old.

1:13:13 Drew And even if that should slip through.

1:13:15 Adam It means you're a bad person, too.

1:13:16 Drew But even if that should slip through for whatever reason, when you find out, you're gonna go kill again.

1:13:20 Guest Right, right. Then you do something about it.

1:13:22 Caller Well, see, I think, I don't know, I pretty much told them, and they were just pretty much in a state of shock. They didn't know what to say or what to do. And I mean, the conversation on it probably lasted about 20 minutes.

1:13:36 Drew Didn't they call the police next?

1:13:37 Caller I'm sorry?

1:13:38 Drew Call the police? Make a report?

1:13:41 Caller I don't want it to be brought out into such a big issue. I mean, I know it is.

1:13:45 Guest You hid this until just recently, right?

1:13:48 Caller Right, actually, I didn't tell them until...

1:13:50 Drew Were your parents kind of rough with you physically when you were growing up?

1:13:54 Caller No, not really, but they were just never there. I mean, I pretty much grew up on my own, taking care of my younger siblings.

1:14:00 Guest All right.

1:14:01 Adam And so now you're having trouble in relationships?

1:14:04 Caller Right.

1:14:04 Drew Sure.

1:14:05 Adam And the rape didn't help, but I would say it would be more the family that brought the rapists into the family that did more damage.

1:14:12 Drew Yeah, the abandoning parents. Of course, it's hard to open up around other people if your only expectation of a close relationship is unmet needs, abandoning, painful, loss.

1:14:24 Guest What type of problems are you having in your relationships now?

1:14:27 Caller Well, I've been seeing this guy for a little under a year, and I care about him a lot. And the only things that we are having problems with is with me. It's, I don't communicate to him at all. I mean, like, I don't express my feelings towards him, or I don't tell him how I'm thinking or anything.

1:14:44 Drew And you can't get close. You can't be there.

1:14:47 Guest Because that goes back to family. The foundation was never set. So you're having a hard time starting that foundation now.

1:14:54 Adam All right. So Lynn, you're going to need to get a little therapy, I think, in order to be able to carry on more effectively in your relationships. Can you do that?

1:15:04 Caller No, actually, I can't.

1:15:05 Adam How come?

1:15:06 Drew How come?

1:15:07 Adam That's life. There you go.

1:15:09 Drew How come?

1:15:09 Caller I'm sorry?

1:15:10 Drew How come? Why can't you?

1:15:12 Caller Well, just because I don't have the money to go about doing it, and I'm in a job right now where it's not physically...

1:15:22 Drew You don't have an hour a week?

1:15:24 Caller I'm sorry?

1:15:24 Drew You don't have an hour a week somewhere?

1:15:26 Adam You can't put aside an hour a week? Actually, 50 minutes, but they charge you for the hour. Don't worry.

1:15:31 Drew Hour a week?

1:15:31 Adam Hey, Lynn?

1:15:32 Caller Yes?

1:15:33 Adam Listen, you can do anything you want when you want to do it. You have to want to get therapy. If you don't want to do it, fine, but you'll just sort of be haunted by your past, and you'll make the same mistakes over and over again, and you'll be sort of damned.

1:15:47 Caller But see, I don't want that to happen.

1:15:49 Adam Well, okay, then get therapy. That's it. That's it. That's your only option.

1:15:55 Drew There are many, many very inexpensive sources out there.

1:15:58 Guest Absolutely, and they'll work with you, too.

1:16:00 Drew Yeah, right, there are pro-rated organizations out there. There's 12 step processes, and there's survivor groups, too. That's a growing area right now.

1:16:06 Guest Yeah, but if she doesn't get that out, it's gonna always fester.

1:16:08 Drew Of course.

1:16:09 Guest But actually, there was never any closure to that situation.

1:16:12 Drew She never had that dealt with, either, right? Right. She could start with a women's group, with a rape group, that kind of thing.

1:16:16 Adam Ingrid.

1:16:17 Caller Hi.

1:16:18 Adam You're 26.

1:16:19 Caller Yeah.

1:16:20 Caller My question is for Dr. Drew. I heard that you shouldn't be pregnant and taking lithium at the same time.

1:16:27 Drew That is true.

1:16:29 Caller I was wondering, so, what do... I'm on lithium. I'm bipolar.

1:16:33 Drew You gotta switch. You gotta switch to something else.

1:16:35 Caller Oh, but there's other things...

1:16:37 Drew There are various options. Yeah, there are options that are good for you out there, depending on what kind of bipolar illness and how unstable it's been. But there are options. Okay.

1:16:44 Caller Because I've kind of been under the impression that lithium was it.

1:16:47 Drew Well, lithium may have worked best for you, but you certainly aren't going to want to be on it during pregnancy. Okay. Okay. Thanks.

1:16:54 Adam All right. Why? What's so bad about that?

1:16:55 Drew It causes birth defects and things. I'm not sure exactly. I know it's very tough on the kidneys, if I remember. That's where a lot of the injury occurs.

1:17:03 Adam Tough on the kid kidneys?

1:17:05 Drew Tough on the adult kidneys.

1:17:06 Adam The kiddies? Tough on the...

1:17:08 Drew I don't recall exactly. I know that there's a lot of concern about... In fact, I just had a patient a week ago where there was this concern about lithium in pregnancy.

1:17:15 Guest What's bipolar?

1:17:17 Drew Matic depressions.

1:17:18 Caller Oh, okay.

1:17:19 Adam David?

1:17:19 Guest New words?

1:17:20 Drew They didn't talk about that in the sex phones? Get in the bipolar...

1:17:23 Guest They didn't use that terminology.

1:17:25 Adam The poll was something else in the by. The by was something else as well.

1:17:29 Guest You know, Adam, you're always right there with me. So I love you.

1:17:32 Drew There's the poll now.

1:17:33 Adam David? David?

1:17:37 Drew Oh.

1:17:39 Adam Yeah, David's a cockatiel. Hey, David?

1:17:43 Drew He's sleeping?

1:17:44 Adam He's a minor bird. OK, David has fallen asleep and his bird is still awake.

1:17:50 Drew Oh.

1:17:51 Adam Hey, caller goes by the name David. 15 year old David, who broke up with girlfriend, and now she's threatening to kill his parents.

1:18:01 Drew Oh, Lord.

1:18:01 Guest Thank you for your time.

1:18:03 Adam All right, hang on there. Maybe she was successful. I don't know. Maybe she spared the bird. And listen, a bird is not a pet, everybody. Do not get birds. Oh, birds.

1:18:13 Caller What are they?

1:18:14 Adam They're, they're, they're flying rats that do nothing, but, you know, you take care of them for 10 years, you reach your hand in the cage, they try to bite at you.

1:18:24 Guest They're chicken.

1:18:25 Adam Yeah. I love, the birds are for eating.

1:18:27 Guest Yeah, right.

1:18:28 Adam That is it.

1:18:29 Guest Put a little batter on them.

1:18:30 Caller Yeah.

1:18:31 Adam No excuse for having a bird as a pet. Tyler?

1:18:34 Caller Yes.

1:18:35 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:18:37 I'm Dr. Drew.

1:18:38 Drew Yeah.

1:18:38 Caller A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with herpes.

1:18:41 Drew Right.

1:18:42 Caller And at the time, I mean, since it was so early, I didn't really notice, I mean, the outbreaks weren't that consistent. I mean, I would, I told the doctor then like once a month. And she at the time didn't recommend Valtrex or any other, I mean, if there is any other medication. But since then, I mean, it's just, I mean, it's every other week. I mean, I'd say two to three times a month.

1:19:10 Drew And this is on the genitalia?

1:19:11 Caller Yeah.

1:19:12 Drew Are you sure it's herpes?

1:19:13 Caller Yeah, it was diagnosed.

1:19:15 Drew Okay. Well, as you mentioned, Valtrex is one of the options. Famvir is another one.

1:19:20 Caller And I mean, it's just like, I mean, I've heard you guys talk about and I've seen the commercials, the kickbox. I mean, they're just very vague on what-

1:19:27 Adam Ladies kickboxing.

1:19:28 Caller Yeah.

1:19:29 Drew Well, you definitely have what we consider frequent recurrences.

1:19:31 Caller Yeah. I mean, because I've seen like in the magazines, it says they term frequent is like 6 to 12. And I mean, it's just mine is unbelievable.

1:19:40 Drew That's right. It's frequent.

1:19:41 Adam All right. So you should get on the suppressive therapy.

1:19:44 Drew Right. Suppressive therapy.

1:19:45 Caller And I'm just wondering how, I mean, how suppressive it is.

1:19:49 Drew It's very effective. The famvir is a pretty low dose. I think they only give 125 milligrams a day. And it's once a day and just take it like a vitamin. It does tend to work awfully well. People do, I don't, I have a problem with people being on it sort of day in and day out for years on end, because I've seen some sort of peculiar side effects from some of these antiviral medications.

1:20:08 Caller Yeah.

1:20:09 Drew As it affects mood and that kind of thing. And when people stop, they get sort of a rebound outbreak sometimes. But it's something that-

1:20:18 Caller I mean, they have to list all these side effects.

1:20:20 Drew Yeah, they're mild. They're not bad.

1:20:23 Adam Well, listen, how bad could they be? A woman is throwing a spinning heel kick into a bag, then she's swimming a mile in the pool, and then she's back in the ring working with the focus gloves and her trainer. I mean, that woman kicks ass in that genital herpes commercial.

1:20:37 Caller And I'm just wondering other- I mean, how do I- I'm living with my parents right now, and I'm just wondering how would I even go about getting on a prescription and getting it paid for? I mean, what the cost is?

1:20:48 Adam Well, we'll all chip in.

1:20:49 Drew What's your address? You'd probably be seen by a doctor in a few months. It's something you want to work on with a doctor to make sure that they're following you regularly. And the family are pretty expensive. And if you're not going to be using your prescription, you'd be paying a fair amount of cash for it. I imagine it'd be-

1:21:04 Adam You mean- you don't mean prescription. You mean insurance.

1:21:07 Drew I'm sorry, not using your insurance for prescriptions.

1:21:09 Adam Well, doesn't he have to- shouldn't he use his insurance or he doesn't want his folks to find out?

1:21:12 Drew He doesn't want his parents to get the EOB, which is a notification that was paid out to the insurance.

1:21:17 Adam Yeah.

1:21:18 Drew I see. And it's a concern. I don't, you know, in my office-

1:21:22 Adam Yeah, it's just like-

1:21:22 Drew Here's what I do. I get the samples. Hold on.

1:21:24 Adam You're 22. You're living at home. You think your parents don't know you're a loser? Tell them you got the herpes too and really add to it. You know, it's like really bring the tears. Now dad's crying too.

1:21:34 Guest Don't do it.

1:21:35 Adam Now just be straight up with them. And maybe you got it. I don't know. Did you get it from a hooker or anything?

1:21:42 Caller I mean, I got it from the only girl that I've been with.

1:21:45 Adam All right.

1:21:46 Guest So I mean, that's just, yeah, that's a tough luck. And you know, I'm sure your parents will be understanding. They want to get you help.

1:21:52 Drew You're an adult.

1:21:52 Adam Yeah, it's not like you want on some sex tour of Asia or something and pick something up. You tell them. They got to get on the insurance. Absolutely. All right?

1:22:01 Drew Yeah. Talk to your doctor about getting some samples. I'm able to get my hands on samples, maybe keep it going for at least half the time.

1:22:07 Adam All right. Sarah?

1:22:09 Caller Oh, yeah. Hi.

1:22:10 Drew Hi.

1:22:11 Caller Hi. I was wondering, I'm 15 now. And I started having sex when I was 14. And I've had sex with 11 guys. But I've decided to wait because I figured it was, what I was doing was absolutely bad for me.

1:22:25 Drew All right, Sarah.

1:22:25 Caller But now I've decided to wait. But even nothing affects me anymore. Nothing turns me on. I'm completely numb. And I was wondering if that's normal.

1:22:35 Adam All right.

1:22:36 Caller Because of how many I have.

1:22:36 Drew We're going to wait.

1:22:37 Adam Hold on there, Sarah. Yeah, we're going to take a break.

1:22:39 Drew Right.

1:22:39 Adam All right, Drew. You know what I like about Drew? Actually, what I don't like about Drew?

1:22:45 Drew You like to make fun of about me.

1:22:46 Adam Right. Drew is rarely right. We have people who are sort of in charge of keeping the show on track. Although, we need people who are in charge of them too. They wave around and they're like, we got to go to commercial or we got to take a break. On the TV show, Drew has a little earpiece and they say something like go to commercial. And Drew is such a robot that I could be saying to the caller, all right, listen, I'll tell you what, we're going to wrap it up. We'll take ourselves a break and they'll say, Drew's here, go to commercial. Drew will go, go to commercial. And I'll go, you know what, we would have been there in seven seconds, but now you just reset the clock with your outburst. You did it when we did the TV show.

1:23:29 Drew In fact, Adam's going to reset it and actually tack on another 50 seconds.

1:23:33 Adam Now you got to pay. That's right, Anderson's flamping his arms over there like some kind of retard trying to hail a bus and Drew's got to react right to it. All right, so what are we going to do, Drew? We'll be right back. That's right.

1:23:50 Caller Loveline.

1:23:53 Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:24:20 Adam All right, it is Loveline. Mo'Nique and Dorien Wilson are both here tonight. The Parkers is the name of the show. Monday night, 8.30 on UPN. Brought to you by Popeyes and Kentucky Fried Chicken. That's right.

1:24:36 Guest Can't say what they say.

1:24:40 Adam Yeah, I got to be honest with you, white people don't go for the Popeyes. We go for the Kentucky Fried Chicken, but I don't think white people eat the Popeyes.

1:24:49 Caller Why not?

1:24:49 Adam Really? I don't know white people that eat the Popeyes.

1:24:53 Guest I see a lot of white people in the line of Popeyes.

1:24:55 Caller Really?

1:24:56 Guest Yes.

1:24:57 Guest Keeping it a secret then, more for us.

1:24:59 Adam Yeah, white people go for the Kentucky Fried Chicken, but I don't see them out in the Popeyes.

1:25:07 Guest Yeah, they're in the Popeyes because of the spice.

1:25:09 Adam I don't know what it is. Popeye was white. He was a white male muscle man. You think they'd endorse the white guy.

1:25:21 Guest Right.

1:25:22 Adam I see them more around the Kentucky Fried Chicken and less around the Popeyes.

1:25:26 Guest Well, no, I think you should get out more.

1:25:28 Adam All right, I got to start going to those places. I got to start hanging out at Popeyes.

1:25:31 Guest That's because he doesn't go to Popeyes.

1:25:33 Adam Well, because they have those whole buckets of popcorn, shrimp and stuff. I think I'm going to die. That turned you off? Yeah, it's too greasy. You like that stuff?

1:25:43 Guest KFC is the greased bucket of America.

1:25:46 Adam I know, but it's got its own kind of grease going. It's got its own. It's the Colonel's grease.

1:25:50 Guest Right.

1:25:51 Guest Okay, now I'm telling you, Adam, it's the Colonel's grease.

1:25:54 Adam That's right.

1:25:55 Guest With the little white soup.

1:25:56 Guest Right.

1:25:57 Drew To the Southern General.

1:25:58 Guest That's right.

1:26:00 Guest All right.

1:26:01 Adam I probably flying a Confederate flag over each branch.

1:26:06 Guest All right, let's go.

1:26:07 Drew Wait, you guys ever been to Atlanta, by the way?

1:26:08 Guest I used to live in Atlanta, in Newark-Cross Doge.

1:26:11 Drew I just had a moving experience just going to that Martin Luther King Memorial.

1:26:15 Guest It's deep. It is something that you cannot explain until you go in there.

1:26:19 Drew No, yes.

1:26:20 Guest Absolutely. Yeah. When I first went in, it's just you become overwhelmed. It's like, okay.

1:26:25 Drew Yes. I've had that experience. You went over there?

1:26:28 Guest I had to take my kid.

1:26:29 Drew I had a couple hours of spare and I asked this guy, he would show me around, he goes, well, I'll take you into where Martin Luther King was born, and I thought, that would be great. I had to get out of the car, you feel like you're drawn in, and I stood there and I had an experience. I mean, it is an amazing experience.

1:26:42 Guest Absolutely.

1:26:42 Guest It's a wonderful thing to know that you're in the presence of one of the greatest men.

1:26:47 Drew But really, it's in a moving-

1:26:49 Adam They didn't have a Popeyes franchise there, did they?

1:26:51 Drew No, it was around the corner.

1:26:53 Adam I never been there. I didn't even know they had a Martin Luther King memorial. Adam.

1:26:58 Drew He's there.

1:26:59 Adam I got to get out.

1:27:00 Drew Yes.

1:27:00 Adam I got to get to the Popeyes.

1:27:01 Caller The burning torch.

1:27:02 Drew You know what I thought? First of all, I thought this is exactly what he would have wanted from that neighborhood. I mean nothing would have made him happier than that.

1:27:09 Guest Oh yeah. I mean it's just wonderful.

1:27:10 Adam Is it a museum or something? You go in or is it just like the Vietnam Memorial?

1:27:14 Drew It's an outdoor largely.

1:27:16 Guest They have a museum there as well.

1:27:17 Drew They moved the museum across the street and all that stuff.

1:27:19 Caller But did you go into his home?

1:27:21 Drew I stood outside of it. I didn't actually go in. I swear to God it looked like it's about his mom to be there. Yeah.

1:27:26 Guest It's wonderful.

1:27:29 Adam All right. Drew, you should have such a monument erected on your behalf one day. Sarah, after I take you out, you're 15. What's up? Oh, you slept with 11 guys. And when you're 14, well, I wish I had one of those years between 14 and 15.

1:27:47 Drew But you always catch the ones subsequent. Yeah.

1:27:50 Adam I usually catch the ladies when they're hitting Sarah's phase right now, which is Sarah and her closing up shop, right?

1:27:56 Drew And both are the same.

1:27:58 Adam Going down for a nap.

1:27:59 Drew Different sides of the same coin. Whatever made you hypersexual is also shutting you down. And we would predict some sort of sexual or physical abuse would typically cause that kind of thing.

1:28:09 Caller No.

1:28:10 Adam What happened?

1:28:10 Caller No, it's just I was in, I moved to an area, I think, after my mom and dad got divorced.

1:28:16 Drew All right. Well, that's one thing. Why did they get divorced?

1:28:19 Caller Oh, just because they didn't get along anymore. And my dad was abusing her emotionally. And she just wanted to get away and get us away.

1:28:27 Drew Was she, is he physically abusing her too?

1:28:29 Caller No, no.

1:28:30 Adam The fact that she wanted to get you away from him suggests that he was probably, you know, maybe a dangerous guy.

1:28:40 Caller No, no.

1:28:40 Adam Do you see him?

1:28:41 Caller He's not dangerous.

1:28:42 Adam Do you see him?

1:28:43 Caller Yeah, I see him all the time.

1:28:44 Adam Okay. All the time?

1:28:46 Caller Yeah, all the time.

1:28:46 Adam All right. So why do you think you went on this sort of sex spree?

1:28:50 Caller I don't know.

1:28:52 Adam Because it's really abnormal for 14-year-olds to sleep with 11 people in a year unless they were molested or beaten or have some serious issues.

1:29:02 Caller Yeah, I don't know why I did. I've never been sexually abused or anything. It's just I really don't know why I did it.

1:29:09 Drew Could this have been a reaction to the divorce?

1:29:11 Caller I don't know.

1:29:13 Guest Did somebody tell you that it was like really cool to do it?

1:29:15 Caller No, no. It was on my own decision that I wanted to.

1:29:18 Guest But was 11?

1:29:21 Drew And a lot older guys?

1:29:22 Caller Oh, there were about 17.

1:29:25 Guest All right. Well, we're glad you came to your senses and there's a lot more productive things that you can be doing right now.

1:29:31 Adam So what are you doing now? So now you're just laying low, right?

1:29:34 Caller Yeah.

1:29:35 Adam You're 15.

1:29:35 Drew You don't have an EAM disorder?

1:29:37 Caller No.

1:29:38 Adam All right. If you don't have sex again until you're 24, you'll be right on track.

1:29:42 Caller Okay.

1:29:43 Adam You just use your shop. That's all. Doesn't matter what order you use them in. You just use them all up. That's right. You got a little nine-year layoff. No big deal. All right. Hey, Sarah, I'm glad you got out of your system. We kind of worry and we in a way don't believe you. Not like you're lying, but just that there has to be more here for a 14-year-old to sleep with 11 people inside a year that there's something that maybe you don't even know about that happened to you. There's got to be something behind that, but we don't have time to extract that and we'll take your word for it, so study, go to college, and keep your legs crossed for a few years, all right? All right, thank you. All right, well, that sounds pretty easy.

1:30:25 Caller Yeah.

1:30:31 Caller Hi there, how you doing?

1:30:32 Adam Good. Hey, you're 27, what's up there, Tim?

1:30:35 Caller I got a question for Dr. Drew. It has to do with sex versus masturbation. After masturbation, I get an enormous appetite. I just like really, really hungry, and then really lazy. But then after normal sex, normal, right? No, actually just heterosexual sex. Right. But I don't get that same appetite. Actually, I have a lot more energy. But then after masturbation, I lose a lot of energy. My energy level goes way down.

1:31:13 Adam First off, if you're like me, you don't burn as many calories during sex as you would during masturbation.

1:31:18 Drew I see. I'm not working quite as hard.

1:31:19 Adam Sometimes masturbation take me three, four minutes. I got to turn pages. I fast forward with the VCR. Sometimes the role of bounty that I have spread out on my belly falls aside. I have to straighten that back out again. A lot of energy burning as opposed to sex where it's just leaning out a couple of times and then pow.

1:31:41 Guest Is that what it is?

1:31:42 Adam Yeah. Sorry. That's it. So for me, I'm burning a lot of calories and that's why I'm going to the fridge during masturbation. But it may be different for you, Tim. And you have no energy.

1:31:54 Drew He's eating so much. Right.

1:31:56 Adam Maybe the part about you eating.

1:31:59 Drew Yeah. Something's driving his insulin levels up, blood sugar down. And I don't know why. He's smoking pot before he masturbates? I don't know.

1:32:05 Guest Well, maybe the masturbation, he's more into a fantasy world than actually the real sex part of it.

1:32:10 Guest What does that have to do with him?

1:32:12 Adam Well, he probably eats a box of nilla wafers and then he wants to take a nap.

1:32:17 Guest Well, in that fantasy world, he may be having it with like 10 different women.

1:32:20 Guest So he's just exhausted.

1:32:21 Guest And he's really just working himself up in that fantasy.

1:32:24 Adam No.

1:32:24 Drew I think you've spoken pot before.

1:32:26 Adam Yeah. David?

1:32:28 Yes.

1:32:28 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:32:29 Caller Hey. I'll add to your screener. And your show is great, by the way. Thanks. But the real question is, I have this friend, and he looks at me for like two hours about how porno is bad. And then this is after betraying me.

1:32:44 Drew What way did he betray you?

1:32:47 Caller We do this extracurricular activity after school debate, and we were partners, and he like left me for this other guy.

1:32:53 Adam That's your worst nightmare, guys, camped in the debate team telling you why porno is bad.

1:32:57 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:32:58 Adam Come on, buddy, lighten up. I know you make some good points, but I got to whack off later.

1:33:02 Drew So you're looking for some points of discussion from Adam?

1:33:06 Caller Dad, but also I was going to write in this letter, like saying like what an a-hole he is, but I'm not sure if I should do that. Like my dad said, that's kind of gay.

1:33:17 Drew A-hole.

1:33:18 Adam Hey, David, you got to get yourself a girlfriend.

1:33:20 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:33:21 Adam Yeah, you got a lot of energy. A lot of energy with the speech and the bait. Porn. I'll go pro. You go con? Pro. Fine. Let's go. Ready? Go. I'm just going to write him a letter. He's dancing. It was gay. Son, you don't write other boys' letters. You understand? And you don't put little hearts over your eyes either, son.

1:33:46 Drew You're gay.

1:33:47 Adam All right. The whole world is coming undone. We're going to take a break. We're going to regroup. And then we'll be back after this.

1:33:55 Guest We're about to get funky, yo.

1:33:58 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

1:34:35 Adam All right, well, that's it. I want to thank Dorien and Mo'Nique for coming in here tonight. Thank you.

1:34:41 Guest Thank you for having us.

1:34:42 Adam Oh, you guys were great. Really, you made my job easy. The Parkers. Monday nights, 8.30 UPN. That is tomorrow night, everybody. 8.30 on UPN. Please support the show, because they're friends of the show. And we always support our friends. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:35:06 Guest Are you hot, daddy?

1:35:07 Adam Uh, well now.

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Sunday, January 30, 2000