Episode 1000754887454

6:34 Voiceover Loveline isn't meant for an adult audience.

6:37 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

6:42 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

6:45 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

6:49 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. Facts number 310-8-5-4-4-2-4-5-5. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician. Takes medicine as a specialist. He'll come to your school for nickel, kiddies. If you've got one. If you've got a nickel, he's got the time.

7:06 Drew Even free like this?

7:06 Adam Even free. Well, I don't think it nickel.

7:10 Drew No, this was free.

7:11 Adam You've got to figure, you've got to cover some travel expenses. You just got back from where?

7:16 Drew North Dakota.

7:17 Adam North Dakota. Beautiful this time of year over there. Fascinating. Have you done much traveling over the last two weeks or so?

7:25 Drew It would take 15,000 miles.

7:27 Adam That's right. All right. Well, you must really hate your family.

7:31 Drew No, it was the medical school graduation season. I'm doing SC on Sunday and Irvine after that and North Dakota yesterday.

7:39 Adam What is your fear? What do you think will happen if you just stop? What do you think is going to happen? Do you know what I mean? What do you think will happen to you if you just stop?

7:50 Drew It's not a matter of just stopping. It's a matter of enjoying what I'm doing so much for fear that will just stop. Really? Why would I do graduation speech unless I really enjoyed it?

8:00 Adam Well, fear was a good word in there. I think you have this feeling like you got to make hay while the sun is shining. Yeah. Unfortunately, the sun never sets. So you're just making hay all day, all week, all month, and then that turns into years, and then it does turn into decades.

8:22 Drew But at least I'm enjoying it. I really am.

8:25 Adam You're enjoying not doing it. That's where your real enjoyment comes. It's-

8:33 Drew No, I got to tell you something. I can't believe I get to do the things I get to do.

8:37 Adam I know, but you're doing too much of them. Just settle down, would you?

8:41 Drew Well, part of it is I accept things like a year in advance.

8:44 Adam How do you really know what you want to do and don't want to do if it's all driven by fear anyway?

8:49 Drew It's not right now, it's the point.

8:51 Adam All right, security. Andrea, you're 14.

8:55 Caller Yeah, I actually have talked to you guys before.

8:58 Adam That's right.

8:59 Caller Yeah. You guys remember, right?

9:00 Adam Yeah, sure.

9:01 Caller Yeah. My question is, I have a third nipple and I like it. Not really. How many times can you find a girl with a third nipple?

9:13 Drew Well, a lot of people have those things, but they look just like moles. Does yours actually develop like a full nipple?

9:19 Caller Yeah.

9:19 Adam Where is it?

9:21 Caller It's right under the breast. Yeah.

9:23 Drew It's in the nipple line. That's what that's called.

9:26 Adam You have two lines of nipples.

9:28 Drew Right, like dogs have lines of nipples. Humans have that too when they're getting started.

9:32 Caller Nice.

9:34 Drew Usually if you have something real developed like that, usually there will be even another one below that. Do you have like a fourth? Look down below the second developed one and see if there isn't like a mole.

9:46 I just feel like a little bump.

9:47 Drew There you go.

9:47 Caller I don't think it is.

9:49 Drew No, I bet that's it.

9:50 Adam All right. And when you pee, do you lift your leg or do you sit down on the toilet?

9:55 Drew Squats.

9:56 Adam You squat.

9:57 Caller No, I sit down.

9:58 Adam I see.

9:58 Caller I'm normal.

9:59 Adam OK. And so you enjoy this.

10:03 Caller Yeah, it's fine. I mean, I have nothing, you know, a problem with it. But my boyfriend, he's kind of like not liking the idea that I have any. And I mean, he really loves me.

10:14 Drew How old is your boyfriend?

10:15 Caller He's 15.

10:16 Huh. Wow.

10:18 Adam I had not seen three nipples total at the age of 15. You know what I mean?

10:23 Drew Less than three on the same person.

10:24 Adam Much less on one woman. Yeah. I mean, and how developed is this nipple? If you just saw a picture of it without anything around it, would you know it was a nipple?

10:34 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

10:35 Adam Right. And you enjoy it.

10:38 Caller Well, yeah. I mean, it's worth your attention.

10:40 Adam Do you wear a bra and a half? How does that work?

10:43 Caller No, I just wear a regular bra. I mean, sometimes, like, certain bras get in the way. But I never have a problem, really.

10:50 Adam It's not on the breast, though. It's under it, right? Interesting. And how are your breasts?

10:57 Caller They're fine.

10:58 Adam Yeah, this is just for me for later, you know.

11:00 Caller You know, yeah.

11:00 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, listen, I, I'm one of you know what I, you know, it's bizarre about Andrea. Andrea is 14, 14 year old girls. If they're not wearing the right branded jeans, feel like they want to stay home that day from school or move to a different country. They're so conscious about being different, blending in, standing out, whatever it is. Here's someone with three nipples, which by the way, this is something to be a little uncomfortable about. I mean, I don't, you know, it's not our job to try to make people feel uncomfortable, but if someone told me, hey, I got three nipples, I'm feeling uncomfortable, I'd say, hey, you got a right to feel uncomfortable.

11:44 Drew But she sort of got this feeling about her that, hey, compared to what else is going on in my life, there's no big deal. Get that feeling. And number two is she got a 15 year old boyfriend directing her to have surgery. Think about that temerity.

11:56 Adam Do you think that he is, do you think that she is overcompensating? You know how when people go, they're never in the middle. It's like either I want to kill myself because of my third nipple or I'm going to build a float for it.

12:11 Drew Right, show it to everybody.

12:12 Adam Bring it right down Main Street.

12:13 Right, right.

12:14 Adam Both feel a little unhealthy to me.

12:16 Drew Yeah.

12:16 Adam Let me just ask Andrea one more time. Andrea?

12:20 Caller Yes.

12:20 Adam Yeah. Do you feel like you're overcompensating a little with your love of your third nipple?

12:26 Caller Well, not really. I mean, I don't know. It's kind of hard because I mean, I love my boyfriend to death and I mean, but it's like if I get it taken away, then it's like it's kind of like saying, I really do care about what other people think about me and what you don't.

12:43 Adam Well, you do. You do.

12:46 Drew But she doesn't.

12:47 Caller Yeah. It's both ways.

12:49 Adam Yeah, but you do. Everyone does.

12:51 Caller So what do you think I should do?

12:53 Drew Well, you shouldn't do anything your boyfriend wants you to do just because he wants you to.

12:57 Adam Is that thing hooked up, that nipple?

13:00 Drew I might produce a little something.

13:03 Adam Andrea, is it hooked up or is it just like one of those half kegs, they stick to the wall at the German restaurants?

13:11 Drew How does she know unless she's been pregnant?

13:13 Adam I don't know. When you feel it, do you get a sensation?

13:18 Caller Well, sort of. He's tried to play with it a couple of times. I get the same kick like if you're doing it to any of the other two.

13:31 Adam That's what I'm saying. It is just as sensitive as the other two?

13:35 Caller Well, pretty much, but...

13:39 Adam Listen, you get three nipples. One is a superfluous third one, which is not in the same place at all the other one. Does it feel like the other ones? One more time. Andrea, yes or no? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. All right. I don't know. I got no answer for her. Ryan?

14:00 Yeah.

14:01 Adam You're 25?

14:02 Caller Yep.

14:02 Adam What's up?

14:04 Caller I got a big problem on here, on my hands, that I need you guys to help out here. I've been married the last three years. I'm totally in love with my wife, committed. But I've been seeing some of them the last six months. I know that's now, I know you guys probably like, that's ridiculous.

14:21 Adam I know. Your wife is, she's your life. She's your everything.

14:25 Caller Yeah, right.

14:26 Adam And then there's this other bitch you've been banging.

14:30 Caller Well, it's not a bitch, but anyways.

14:31 Adam Oh no, no, she's a lady.

14:33 Caller I love her too. I mean, to be completely honest, it's another guy. So.

14:37 Caller Oh.

14:38 Caller Yeah. Just found out that he has AIDS.

14:43 Adam HIV or AIDS?

14:45 Caller What's that?

14:45 Adam HIV.

14:46 Caller HIV.

14:47 Adam Yeah.

14:48 Drew And how did you find out?

14:49 Caller I don't know how about, you know, go about telling my wife this or how to bring it up or.

14:53 Drew How did you find out?

14:54 Caller He told me.

14:57 Adam Why did he tell you now? Did he just find out?

14:59 Caller He just found out now, yeah.

15:01 Adam Do you have any kids?

15:02 Caller Two kids.

15:03 Adam Oh, my God. Yeah. And have you always been by?

15:07 Caller Well, I mean, not since I met this guy, basically. I mean, I never thought I was.

15:12 Adam Not since I met this guy.

15:14 Drew He's bisexual. Not prior to me.

15:16 Adam You never had been with another guy before this?

15:18 Caller Never.

15:19 Adam You never thought about other guys?

15:22 Drew Okay.

15:23 Caller Maybe a little bit.

15:23 Adam This guy must be some kind of good-looking.

15:26 Drew Or is it that you were married that somehow it made it then safe, now that you sort of fulfilled the sort of idealized You had a dad and a husband. Yeah. Now you can go ahead and act out your fantasies.

15:37 Caller Yeah, maybe.

15:38 Adam Alright. So have you been tested yet?

15:41 Caller I just barely found out this last weekend.

15:43 Adam Alright. Well, you're given a couple weeks and say, you get around to it. Don't they have some kind of discount on tests toward the end of the summer usually? Is in August a slow testing month? I think they cut you about a 30% discount.

15:55 Caller I mean, but like, I mean, like, you know, I mean-

15:57 Adam Hold on a second. Idiot. I'm very much in love with my wife. I have two beautiful kids. I'm banging around with this gay guy. He's got the hiv. I only found out a week ago. I'm going to get tested, but you know, that can take upwards of 20 minutes these days. And I'm on a pretty busy schedule. Aren't you just- before he gets the V part, people say hi to me and I go running to get tested. I don't know the V. I expect the V.

16:27 Drew To follow.

16:28 Adam To follow. Yeah, I mean, all right. What are you going to- you just going to sit on that one for a while?

16:35 Well, this is-

16:36 Drew you got to remember, he's steeped in denial, this guy.

16:38 Adam Yeah. Ryan?

16:40 Yeah.

16:41 Adam How can you sit on that? Don't you have to run that day?

16:44 Drew Airlift.

16:45 Adam And get tested?

16:47 Caller I mean, yeah, you do.

16:49 Adam Well, how come you haven't been tested then? You don't want to know?

16:53 Caller I mean, I've got just so many issues and stuff going on in my mind as far as my wife, my kids.

16:59 Adam But obviously, you've been intimate with your wife during this period, and you weren't using condoms with this guy?

17:10 Caller No.

17:11 Adam No. And-

17:13 Drew Were you ever a receptive partner in Aniline, of course? Oh, boy, that's a yes. Okay, come on. Yeah.

17:20 Adam Okay.

17:20 Drew And honestly, yes. Adam, we have a receptive partner in Aniline, of course.

17:24 Adam Let's see. What day is it? Aniline, of course? Receptive? Oh. Yeah, I pulled the train. A half hour ago. Ryan?

17:37 Caller Yeah.

17:37 Adam All right, buddy. You've obviously been having sex with your wife, not since you found out, I hope.

17:45 Caller What's that?

17:45 Adam You haven't had sex with her since you found out. I'm trying to figure out how far gone you are. No. All right. So, Ryan, you need to get tested. And he should get the DNA test that gives you the immediate result one, right?

17:59 Drew No, he knows he's positive. What difference does it make? Oh, you mean Ryan should get that one?

18:02 Adam Ryan, yeah. I mean, why not?

18:06 Drew Yeah.

18:07 Caller I mean, what's the earliest that I could find out, possibly? I mean, I heard you have to wait six months.

18:12 Adam Well, that's what I'm saying. They have these DNA tests that they give to the porn stars and certain politicians.

18:20 Caller I mean, okay, here's another question. I mean, do I wait six months and then find out, then tell my wife, or should I immediately tell my wife?

18:26 Adam Wow, wow. That's a tough question. Okay, listen, Ryan, listen to me. Listen, listen. You gotta get that DNA test. That's the first thing you gotta look into, because I think that's immediate result.

18:39 Drew It's immediate results, but it's not a super accurate way to do it. It's a good idea. It's a good idea to do that. Yeah, but really it's...

18:45 Adam How long were you having sex with this guy?

18:49 Caller Well, I met him about six months ago, three and a half months, about three and a half months.

18:53 Adam Oh, did you break things off with him?

18:57 Caller Well, I mean, we're kind of not talking right now after he dropped this big bomb on me.

19:01 Adam Yeah.

19:01 Caller I mean, I haven't called him or he hasn't called me since then.

19:04 Adam Yeah, can you guys stay apart for a little bit?

19:06 Caller Oh, I think it's over with.

19:07 Adam Yeah, okay, that's good. And now, Drew, hold on. How can he sneak his wife into getting tested without her knowing? Ah, he could get some blood from her. Okay, hold on a second. Ryan, could you steal one of her tampons?

19:26 Drew Oh, for Christ's sake.

19:27 Adam Seriously, would that work?

19:29 Drew No.

19:29 Adam That would work. That would work.

19:31 Drew It gives new meaning to the Western blot test.

19:33 Adam No, but hold on a second.

19:34 Drew No, listen.

19:35 Adam Drew, but seriously, okay, I don't want Ryan to do this. Hypothetically, can he get some of her blood?

19:42 Drew No, but plus, I think she needs to know.

19:45 Adam Okay, but I could do it. I mean, if I got myself into this bind, you would do it for me. No, you know, I know you. You know what I'm saying?

19:54 Drew If you put me in as your front man?

19:56 Adam No, if I said to you, if I said to you off the air, hey, Drew, man, I got myself in a serious pickle here, and here's the deal. Here's a little blood sample. Just get it to the lab for me, brother. You know what I mean? You could do it, right? I mean, you could find out. I mean, he doesn't have any connections.

20:15 Drew We're supposed to have consents from the patient, though.

20:17 Adam Yeah, I know, but it's a formality. Hey, we're buddies.

20:21 Drew Hey, Paisan.

20:22 Adam Hey, you want one of those man show mugs? No problem. Nope, I'll get my sister and bring one right over to your office.

20:28 Drew But listen, I think this guy's, really, the way this should be handled, he needs to bring his wife into like a session with somebody, a professional, and just say, hey, I have something to tell you and let somebody help them work this out, because this is a total meltdown disaster.

20:43 Adam Hey, Ryan.

20:47 Drew Right? I mean, what?

20:48 Adam Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Ryan?

20:50 Drew You don't want to just running in the street screaming with your kids.

20:53 Adam You got to get in a therapist's office with your wife and just come clean.

20:57 Drew And decide what you're going to do with all this.

20:59 Caller I mean, just say that I have something to tell you and then make an appointment or just like get in the car and start driving.

21:05 Adam Make the appointment, get in there, and just say, you know what, we got to talk about some issues and I think we should talk about it in this setting.

21:14 Drew That's just too uncontained and uncontrolled. Somebody needs to be helping you guys through this. I mean, he may end up with his boyfriend. That may be where he belongs.

21:24 Adam Yeah, but he doesn't belong with the guy who has the hiv and didn't tell him about it and was having unprotected sex with him.

21:29 Drew Maybe he didn't know about it. And then that guy was being abandoned by somebody that he really cares about at the time when he really needs him.

21:35 Adam I'll tell you, you know what I would do? I'd get hold of a tampon. I'd bring it in somewhere.

21:39 Drew You would just fixate on a tampon. Why don't you develop a new test, a tampon test? You drop a tampon in some solution.

21:45 Adam If it turns blue?

21:47 Drew All kinds of things about it.

21:48 Adam No, I'm just saying you could test for HIV from a tampon. I would smuggle it into some lab somewhere. I'd grease the palm of one of these $7 an hour lab grunts who will do anything for a buck. I'd get it, and if it was negative, I wouldn't tell her.

22:06 Drew Yeah, but she may still be harboring the virus. Yeah. And he may be able to transfer it to her.

22:11 Adam All right. Listen, I didn't say there wasn't holes in my story. I just, you know.

22:15 Drew This needs to be called out.

22:16 Adam All right. It's a mess. Dante?

22:19 Yeah.

22:19 Adam You're 17?

22:21 Caller Yeah. First, I just want to say, like, Adam, Drew, you guys are awesome. Adam, I totally agree with the little rants about the Sanitation Committee and all about them not picking up the trash and everything.

22:34 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much.

22:37 Caller But I kind of like...

22:39 Adam 644 that came Friday, by the way. I don't know if I've mentioned that. I always wake up and look at the clock when I hear those sons of bitches backing up the street.

22:48 Caller Meep, meep, meep.

22:50 Adam 644, what other government service delivers before 7 a.m.? The one that bothers the F out of you. That's it. Nobody else. Nothing else you want shows up that early except for the noisy one. That's the beauty. Mail? Forget about it. All right, Dante, I'm sorry. 642.

23:11 Caller Yeah. But my question was, the first one is, I'm bi, and I want to know how I should tell my mother or if I should tell her at all.

23:21 Adam Don't tell her.

23:23 Drew Why is it important to tell her?

23:25 Caller Well, like last week, my girlfriend's mother caught the two of us having a threesome with another guy, and she saw what I was doing with the other guy, and she kicked her daughter out, and now she's staying with me, and she doesn't like the fact that she's staying with me and she's threatening to call my mother and tell her what happened.

23:46 Drew All right, so this is the first most legitimate reason to tell mom you've come upon in a long time.

23:51 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's solid.

23:54 Drew Well... Where are you living?

23:58 Caller Baltimore, Maryland.

23:59 Drew No, I mean, how are you supporting yourself?

24:01 Caller I'm staying with my mother and my grandmother.

24:04 Drew So isn't she wondering why this woman has suddenly appeared on the scene?

24:07 Caller Well, like, she knows how my girlfriend and her mother don't get along. Like, in the past, they've had fights and she stayed over here before.

24:15 Drew I see.

24:16 Caller But, like...

24:17 Adam Her... Your girlfriend's mother walked in and you were with a guy and the girlfriend was there, too? Yeah. That's why, as a father one day, hypothetically, if I have a daughter or son for the gay stuff, I'm going to, like the German war criminals, I'll keep the cyanide capsule in. I will have it at all times.

24:43 Drew Once you have kids.

24:44 Adam Once I have children. No, after puberty.

24:46 Drew No, no. You can rely on it before then.

24:49 Adam Okay, I'm going to keep the cyanide capsule and I'm going to keep it in my back teeth, you know, between my upper and lowers and the jaw back there. And I'll just keep it floating around there, just like Nazi war criminals did. And I think, I'm trying to think, one of the guys at Nuremberg killed himself before he got to Gallows. The point is, is I'm just going to keep it there. And I'm going to learn to eat with that thing in there, sleep and have casual conversation. No one will know it's there, but the one day, I kick open the bedroom door, and my son is blowing one of his schoolmates, and there's some wind up thing up my daughter. Pow. I chomp right down on that baby, pow, and I just dropped that right in the doorway. They finish having sex, maybe include me. Maybe they include my corpse into the sex. But the point is, is I will keep that in there for that day. And I feel sorry for Mom, not because of what happened, because she didn't have the cyanide capsule in there.

25:47 Drew Poor planning.

25:49 Adam Yeah, it's no forethought. I don't know.

25:52 Drew Well, it may become important to talk to Mom. It's kind of, you know, it sort of doesn't matter at this point.

25:59 Adam It doesn't.

25:59 Drew Yeah, if the other mom's gonna call, she's gonna call, and the S is gonna hit the fan then, or the S is gonna hit the fan when you tell her.

26:05 Adam You might as well just wait till the other mom calls. And you can call her a liar and say that she's being vindictive, and your mom, if she wants to believe you're not by will, believe you.

26:17 Drew And you notice this is not, I need to declare to my mom my sexual identity, I need her to know who I am. This is, I've been doing some stuff that mom doesn't prove of, and she's gonna find out how do I protect myself. It's a reasonable question.

26:29 Adam Paul?

26:30 Yeah.

26:30 Adam You're 24.

26:31 Caller Okay, I just had a question about some medications, if they'd cause impotency or not.

26:35 Drew All right.

26:36 Caller Okay, I've got Lithium, Seroquel, Selexa, and Asifix.

26:40 Drew What was the last one?

26:41 Adam Asifix.

26:42 Caller Asifix.

26:44 Drew Asifix?

26:45 Caller Yeah, it's like an acid reducer.

26:47 Drew Oh, the new one. Yeah, the new pump.

26:50 Adam You taking all that stuff?

26:52 Caller Yeah.

26:53 Adam What's up?

26:53 Drew Well, he's bipolar.

26:55 Caller Yep.

26:56 Drew And the Seroquel and the Selexa can definitely do, both can do that. Selexa probably more than the Seroquel. Okay.

27:03 Caller Yeah. Hey, Adam, you know that song, that Vagina song of yours?

27:06 Adam Yeah.

27:06 Caller I get kind of a kick out of that one, like when I'm in the clinic getting an appointment, being seen for an appointment, I'll sit back in a little room when I get called back and I'll put the PA system on and start singing that thing.

27:15 Adam Oh, really? Into the PA of the clinic?

27:18 Caller Yeah.

27:20 Caller Well, I'll treat the runner. I'm looking around the room. I was on the phone. I'll quick hang up before they get there.

27:24 Adam That's good. Yeah.

27:27 Drew PA on the phone?

27:28 Adam Yeah. Let's see. Do we have any of that, Anderson? Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina.

27:36 Drew Here he is in a clinic setting. Women are ready to have exams.

27:41 Adam Oh, yeah. Are women being prepared to be examined there?

27:46 Caller Yeah.

27:46 Adam Intimately examined?

27:47 Caller I know that for a fact. I've seen him go in the room.

27:51 Adam Fantastic. What do you got going on in the background?

27:54 Drew You're not taking care of a child, are you?

27:55 Caller I'm not taking care of my daughter, but I'm... Hey, you said your friend Ray has a scalpel, right?

27:59 Adam Has a what?

28:00 Caller You said your friend Ray has a scalpel?

28:02 Adam Yeah, he has a scalpel, yeah.

28:03 Caller I'm one step up from that. I got novocaine, and I've got different syringes to inject novocaine in different spots and numb things up and do a little self-surgery, and I also know how to do an IV.

28:14 Adam Fantastic. And you only have one child?

28:17 Caller Yeah.

28:17 Adam Yeah.

28:18 Caller Well, actually, no, not one. I've got two.

28:19 Adam Oh, okay. Good, good. I was worried for a second that you're only influencing one young person.

28:24 Drew Are you calling from Minnesota?

28:26 Caller No, Wisconsin.

28:27 Drew Wisconsin.

28:27 Caller But actually, I've been around hospitals a lot to learn a lot of the medical language on how to use less.

28:31 Drew We understand.

28:32 Adam Hey, Paul?

28:33 Drew Get the fix on this call.

28:34 Adam Paul, no more kids, please.

28:36 Caller I don't plan on having any more.

28:38 Adam Good man. All right. Take care of yourself.

28:40 Drew By the way, I was-

28:41 Adam He's worried about his penis, and he's worried about his numbing agents and his-

28:46 Drew I am too scared to dig into that call. I really am.

28:49 Adam Yeah. All you need to know is he has a couple of young daughters there, so you have to take care of them.

28:54 Drew You know, in North Dakota this morning, where I was spending my day, lots of trailers, trailer parks and stuff. Some of those things are pretty nice.

29:02 Adam Yeah.

29:02 Drew It's amazing.

29:03 Adam Yeah. Well, we can still make fun of them though. Yeah. Yeah. I like those prefab houses. They ship it over in two pieces, not the trailer ones, the prefab ones.

29:17 Drew Aren't they the same?

29:18 Adam No. I know what you're talking about.

29:23 Drew They're trailer prefabs kind of.

29:24 Adam Yeah.

29:25 Drew But they look like houses in the front.

29:26 Adam These don't get wheeled over on their own wheels. They get wheeled over on a flat bed.

29:31 Drew Right. Right.

29:31 Adam A big semi in two pieces.

29:33 Drew Right. Right.

29:33 Adam And they just staple them together. And there's just a, you see the halves. They're right in half. It's like they have a big sheet of visqueen in front of them. It's kind of like those, remember those models, the invisible human body, the invisible rotary engine, you know. Hey, you can see how a house works. We cut this one in half.

29:52 Drew Right. Yeah.

29:54 Adam I don't know. I don't like that theory that I got a, I got a seam running through the middle of my house theory. But anyway.

30:02 Drew If you don't have earthquakes, what the hell?

30:03 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Katie who's 16, hasn't had sex in a month, and hasn't been able to sleep since. We'll get to what's up with her after this. It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, or at least it would be, if his ass was in his chair where it belongs. Oh, here he comes. He was musing around on the computer. What are you doing on the computer there, Drew?

31:03 Drew Trying to get something to print.

31:05 Adam What are you trying to print? drdrew.com stuff?

31:09 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no.

31:11 Adam Something you don't want to talk about?

31:12 Drew No, it's an outline of something I did today.

31:14 Adam Did you?

31:16 Drew I can't figure out how to get my computer to print.

31:18 Adam What were you doing? I was delivering a graduation speech to what university?

31:24 Drew University of North Dakota.

31:26 Adam How long was it?

31:28 Drew Twenty-five minutes.

31:28 Adam Dude, seems like a lot of you.

31:33 Caller Yeah.

31:36 Adam Just love being insulting. Were they honored to have you?

31:40 Drew No, no, no.

31:40 Adam Really?

31:41 Drew Yeah, they seem to be having a good time. They asked me like a year ago.

31:46 Adam Was it their medical school?

31:47 Drew Yes, the medical school.

31:48 Adam And so they're now going off to what?

31:51 Drew Residency.

31:52 Adam Oh, so you told them about what kind of hell they could look forward to.

31:55 Drew A little bit, a little bit. It's so funny, medical school, you think, oh, phew.

32:00 Adam No. Now what do they have, two years of that residency?

32:03 Drew Most about four. Some six, some eight, some 10.

32:07 Adam Unacceptable. Unacceptable. Oh, see, here's the thing about, and do you get paid for that or you get a little scratch?

32:15 Drew 18, 22 years.

32:18 Adam See, here's the problem.

32:20 Drew That's for 120 hour weeks.

32:23 Adam Here's the inherent problem with every guy I grew up with. When you're poor and you're a little bit stupid, certainly from the Valley, the notion of working for free is unacceptable.

32:38 Drew It's all delayed gratification.

32:40 Adam Yeah. Going to college is essentially working for free. As a matter of fact, you pay them so that you can waste 40 hours a week and no paycheck at the end of the week. Right. So that's for suckers. Yeah. Then internships and all that stuff, it's all for suckers. Except for the problem is they're 35 now, and they're still swinging a hammer. Because you can get the immediate money right out of high school. It's just you plateau around 19, 19 and a half, and that's about it. Delayed gratification, man, that is it. But you know what? If you're poor, sometimes you don't have a choice. Katie?

33:16 Drew You know this thing I'm doing on Sundays in the Shrine.

33:18 Caller I haven't, hi.

33:19 Caller For a month.

33:21 Caller I haven't been able to sleep and I was wondering if there was any connection.

33:24 Adam Who were you having sex with before?

33:26 Caller My boyfriend.

33:27 Adam What happened to him?

33:29 Caller We broke up and went our separate ways.

33:32 Adam Yeah.

33:33 Drew How long had you been physical with him?

33:36 Caller A couple months. Okay.

33:38 Drew And maybe the not sleeping is more about the breakup?

33:43 Caller Possibly. I don't really think so.

33:45 Adam He broke up with you?

33:47 Caller I broke up with him. Why?

33:49 Adam Sleeping too much?

33:50 Caller Huh?

33:51 Adam Yeah. Why?

33:54 Caller Well, he had a drinking problem and one night he got drunk and called me and said some things and I just got sick of it and was over.

34:04 Adam Yeah. That's good. How old was he?

34:07 Caller He's 18, I think.

34:09 Adam Well, that's a nice 18-year-old guy at the drinking problem.

34:12 Drew Do you have some sense of why you're staying awake at night?

34:15 Caller No, I just can't sleep, roll around and all that stuff.

34:18 Drew I think it's the chain, the loss. My goodness. You had some you were very involved with and they're gone. I know you asked him to leave because of how he was behaving, but the fact is it's still a significant loss.

34:29 Adam Yeah.

34:29 Drew That is not, you're not being honest with yourself. You think you just step away from that, have no reaction at all.

34:35 Adam Yeah. I'm a little confused though. Anyone drink in your family? No. Did you ever walk? I mean, it's weird. See, here's what I'm confused about. Why do you hook up with this guy in the first place?

34:46 Drew You're allowed to hook up with alcoholics, yeah.

34:48 Adam Okay. Then the other part is, where do you get all the strength? Does it remind you of anything? Nothing like this went on. Your mom never told your dad to go pack or anything like that?

35:01 Caller No.

35:01 Adam So they're still together?

35:03 Caller Yeah.

35:04 Adam Yes?

35:04 Caller They're still perfectly married.

35:05 Adam All right. Now everything's good.

35:07 Caller Yep.

35:07 Adam So you just got hooked up with a bad guy, you saw he was bad, and you did what was healthy.

35:12 Caller Yeah.

35:13 Drew How long ago was the breakup?

35:15 Caller Huh?

35:15 Drew How long ago was the breakup?

35:17 Caller About a month and a half ago.

35:19 Adam Yeah. You're allowed, you shouldn't sleep right. Right.

35:21 Drew You're not supposed to sleep after a breakup.

35:22 Adam You should be happy you're not sleeping right. It wouldn't mean you're a person. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

35:28 Drew Yeah.

35:29 Adam Especially when you're 16, you're female, you're being intimate with somebody. You're supposed to be freaked out a little bit.

35:35 Drew Yeah.

35:35 Adam You're supposed to toss and turn. Oh, if I had a nickel for every sleepless night I've had. Anthony?

35:41 Yeah.

35:41 Adam You're 18?

35:42 Caller Yeah.

35:43 Adam What's up?

35:43 Caller I had a question about vasectomies.

35:47 Adam Yeah.

35:47 Caller I don't want to really have kids or anything like that. And I was wondering how expensive those would be and how foolproof they are.

35:55 Drew Let me just try to figure out what he means, kids and anything like that.

36:01 Adam I'm guessing giving birth to other life forms.

36:03 Drew That's what I was wondering.

36:04 Adam Bats, raccoons, bears, things like that. Anthony, they probably won't do it to an 18-year-old guy like yourself.

36:14 Caller That's what I don't understand. I mean, if I don't want to bring kids into this world, why would they stop me from doing that?

36:19 Drew Not that we don't agree with you, Anthony.

36:21 Adam I am 1000% behind you, brother.

36:24 Caller Yeah.

36:25 Drew It's just that there's a lot of change that goes on. If Adam and I had been allowed to do half the things, we probably would have wanted to do with ourselves at 18.

36:32 Caller How old do you have to be to get that done?

36:35 Adam I think some of it is based on do you have children already. I think there's a lot of it. I mean, if you're 22 and you have four kids, I think they'll give you one. If you're single at 22, I don't think they will.

36:47 Drew Yeah.

36:48 Adam But it's interesting. You know what I love about this fabulous society we're living in? Anthony wants his Johnson lopped off and some silicone implants and some guy to take a nice rasp to his Adam's apple and doll him up like a nice bitch. No problems there. I mean, you got to do a little therapy, be evaluated for a year, and then you just pony up the cash to cut your penis off. That they got doctors for. It doesn't seem to be a liability involved with that one. If he wanted to wait a year from now at 19 and get a vasectomy, he couldn't find anyone to take that kind of liability.

37:29 Caller That risk, yeah.

37:30 Adam What the F is up with that? What kind of retarded logic is that? Isn't there more liability in cutting someone's peter off than there is in rendering it useless? By the way, we tell people all the time, hey, if you want to have kids as a society, we can't get involved with that. As a government, as a society, we can't pull aside some 16-year-old who's had a couple of kids already and say, listen, you're getting the nore plant, honey. You're a danger to yourself and your community or a guy. We can't do that. That's God's work. We can't do that. But we won't get involved with people wanting to make responsible decisions and not do it. It's backwards. It's ass backwards. We should be involved with the 16-year-old who has already had a couple of kids and a couple of abortions. And we should be supporting guys like Anthony, who are saying, I don't want kids.

38:30 Drew Yeah.

38:32 Adam Why is that? Why do we insist? Why is that such a strong urge to people? You know what I mean? I mean, what is that? What's so I know there's a very strong, innate, innate thing that all humans have to procreate. But why is it bother us so much when other people don't want to do it? You know what I mean?

38:53 Drew Why do we have to hold out till they come to their senses kind of thing?

38:56 Adam Why do we take that as such an affront? You know, abortion and all this kind of stuff. Just accept the fact that certain people don't want kids and shouldn't have them. Fine. More room on the freeway for me.

39:08 Drew The reality is the people that make those mature choices, the ones that ought to have them.

39:12 Adam That's right. Absolutely. John?

39:15 Hello.

39:15 Adam You're 16?

39:17 Caller Yeah.

39:18 Adam You tried to stop smoking pop but you can't?

39:22 Caller Yeah.

39:22 Caller I don't know if you guys remember me. I called like two weeks ago, a stone out of my mind, kind of embarrassed myself.

39:28 Adam No, that's all right.

39:29 Drew We've never had a call like that before, by the way.

39:32 Caller But yeah, after I talked to you guys, well, I'm not going to say it was all you, but I kind of started wanting to quit a lot more than I did before.

39:43 Adam All right.

39:43 Caller Yeah.

39:44 Adam You wouldn't want us to feel good about ourselves, would you?

39:47 Caller Well, I'm just saying that I want to get a little bit of it in me.

39:50 Adam I understand. I know what it's like to do. Drew hears he's done some good for the community, starts getting cocky, starts flashing money around town, getting himself one of those nugget watches, divorces his wife, makes off with his secretary. I decided to do a one-man show off of Broadway and the whole thing falls apart. Now, you're right. You got to keep us grounded. Alright, John, so you tried to quit the pot and?

40:19 Caller Well, it's like an everyday thing. I say, okay, tonight I'm not going to smoke because I just smoke it so I can go to sleep.

40:28 Drew John, you're an addict. That's the point. That's why you have to go get treatment for this.

40:32 Adam I'm going to make myself a note to smoke pot.

40:36 Drew What's that?

40:37 Adam Yeah, smoke pot. It helps me go to bed and it's good.

40:39 Drew The difference between people that can stop smoking pot and can't is the disease of addiction. If you can't, you're an addict. If you can, you're not. It's very simple. You can't stop, you're an addict. That's what addiction is, the inability to stop doing something with serious consequences.

40:56 Adam All right, well, he's 16. Can you stop? No.

40:59 Drew All right. MA.

41:00 Adam MA, baby.

41:02 Caller Oh, sorry.

41:03 Drew John, that is the way it works.

41:05 Caller Man, okay.

41:07 Drew Either that or seek treatment.

41:09 Adam Well, listen, you want to quit or not, goofball?

41:12 Caller Well, yeah, I do because...

41:14 Adam All right, good. Then go to MA. I'm making note for myself to smoke pot tonight. Oh, it's true. I got some pot and...

41:23 Drew It's not good, though. It's not a great sign that you have to write a note to remind yourself.

41:27 Adam Well, what do you mean? That's healthy.

41:29 Drew Yeah.

41:30 Adam That means I don't have a problem.

41:31 Drew It may mean that you have a memory problem from what you're doing.

41:34 Adam No, I... Oh, I had a smoke pot last night. That's right. Before last night, I hadn't smoked pot in a long time. All right? Yeah. All right, we're going to take a little break. We'll be back with...

41:48 Drew Unacceptable.

41:49 Adam We'll be back with Leon. He's not gay, but he keeps fantasizing about guys and... guys since...

41:56 Drew Since he made Outlander.

41:57 Adam Oh, since making Outlander. Okay. Well, he may be...

41:59 Drew He's bisexual.

41:59 Adam He may be gay. We'll be back after this.

42:06 Caller We'll be right back with more. Love Line.

42:40 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I was just sitting here when the music started up as Drew has his face buried in the computer. I'm eating chips, thinking about everything but the show. Tired, thinking about a big week coming up, and I just thought, no guests tonight, I just thought to myself, this will be one of those shows we never remember.

43:05 Drew Are there any other ones we do remember?

43:09 Adam You know, there's probably been like five shows over the last five years where you go, yeah, I remember that guy, or that was a good show, or that Fiona Apple, she's good looking. You know, you have a few of those, right?

43:24 Drew So we enjoy spending time with other people.

43:26 Adam But this one definitely going to fall into that big hopper, that big like, I don't even remember doing it hopper. Now, it's not that it's not going to be a damn entertaining show. I'm just not going to even pretend like I'm going to remember this even a day from now. There is salvation on the horizon though. That's going to come in the form of the lightning round. Yes. Thank you, Anderson. A very good idea. That's right. Now I'm rejuvenated. Drew, you're just a juvenated because you're half Jewish, right?

44:02 Drew No, so I'm rejuvenated.

44:03 Adam Okay.

44:05 Guest Hello.

44:05 Adam Leon. Hey, you guys. Turn whatever down back there, would you?

44:10 Guest Oh, sorry about that.

44:11 Caller All right.

44:14 Guest You guys, I had somewhat of a little thing going on with my friend.

44:19 Adam You what? Digging the underwear out of your ass while you're talking to us?

44:22 Guest No, I'm just going into this little corner of my room so no one in the house will hear me.

44:26 Adam I see.

44:28 Guest Six months ago, me and my friend were on sort of like a campy trip, sort of semi-camping.

44:33 Drew Camping. Oh.

44:34 Adam That's it.

44:35 Caller Yeah.

44:37 Guest He got to drinking some tequila and some other Irish whiskey or something.

44:42 Adam Listen, when I'm in charge, I will no longer let Americans refer to it as camping trips. I will call them raping trips. It'll be like we're raping out. It'll be a rape fire. It'll be a rape portable stove, a raping stove. I'll call it a raping. It's just Cub Scouts are going a weekend raping trip.

45:08 Drew Those cars in the back of pickup trucks will be rapers?

45:11 Adam They'll be rapers. That's right. They'll no longer be campers. The term happy campers will be replaced by happy rapers. Every time people pitch a tent somewhere on some dirt, there is sex that is going to happen. I'm telling you, if I went camping with my neighbor's dog and my grandmother, I'd come back and will have had sex with both of them. Absolutely. Absolutely.

45:40 Drew You think raping might be too strong a word because it's not usually forcible.

45:44 Adam No, I know, but it's-

45:46 Drew Just maybe humping?

45:47 Adam It's sex that you wouldn't have had otherwise. Yeah.

45:51 Drew It's got to be a better word for that.

45:52 Adam Even two guys go out, I don't know, camping, Vamping, humping.

45:55 Drew raping.

45:56 Adam That sounds good to me. All right. All right. So, happy rapers in the raping trip. And what other camp can I work in? Rape counselors?

46:06 Drew Rape grounds?

46:06 Adam Oh, wait a minute. They have the raping grounds.

46:12 Adam Well, no, yeah. No, cabin can't be replaced, Anderson. You got to get that. Cabin is where where rapers go.

46:20 Drew Rape grounds.

46:21 Adam Rape grounds. Rape.

46:22 Drew Rape. KOA. Rape Grounds.

46:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I enjoy the Yosemite rape grounds because they have barbecues and community bathrooms.

46:35 Drew Or there's raping outdoors.

46:37 Adam Oh, yeah.

46:39 Drew Raping out under the stars.

46:41 Caller Hello? Yeah.

46:43 Adam Yeah.

46:44 Guest It was totally consensual.

46:45 Adam I know. It's funny.

46:46 Drew That's why I said the raping is not the right word. Yeah.

46:49 Guest Yeah.

46:49 Adam Anytime guys go at it, I look at it as rape. That's just the way I choose to look at it.

46:55 Guest Well, I instigated it, so I'm the raper.

46:58 Adam Doesn't matter. When I'm in charge, even if a gay couple who's been together for 35 years has a sexual encounter, it will be considered by the government as rape.

47:09 Caller Right. Yeah.

47:11 Guest And we were out on the reservoir, and it was in the back of his trailer hitch, and I just, I don't know, he just started touching on me, and I started touching on him, and it happened.

47:22 Adam Yeah, I see.

47:23 Guest But, okay, six months later, to the present, I'm masturbating about guys daily.

47:29 Adam Yeah.

47:30 Guest And after I'm finished, see it, after I'm finished, I feel like I want to kill myself afterwards.

47:36 Caller Why? Why? Why?

47:37 Caller Why?

47:39 Guest I don't know, it's just this wave of guilt goes over my mind.

47:43 Drew And who is it you're being judged by?

47:46 Guest By myself.

47:47 Drew And why you judge that?

47:49 Guest Because I don't know, it's something biological in me that just says, after you're done fantasizing about this thing, then you're gonna hate yourself for it afterwards.

47:59 Adam Are you religious?

48:00 Guest No I'm not.

48:01 Drew So it's an important part?

48:03 Adam Now what do you care then?

48:05 Guest No it's nothing religious, it's just, I don't know, it's my guilty consciousness.

48:10 Adam Are your parents religious?

48:12 Guest No my parents are separated.

48:14 Drew But it's an important part of the experience.

48:16 Guest Yeah.

48:17 Drew My parents aren't religious, they're separate.

48:20 Guest Why, what, because it's a religious experience?

48:23 Drew No, no, do you see how it's an important part of the experience for you to include guilt in the whole deal here?

48:30 Guest Because of society?

48:31 Drew No, it's that you don't allow, I think that's the only way you allow yourself even to have these thoughts, is that, okay, if I feel enough guilt, it'll maybe expunge these thoughts or make me feel okay as a person if I feel bad about myself for what feelings I have.

48:46 Guest Right.

48:46 Drew Do you understand what I'm saying? These are your feelings, these are your true feelings. They're fine. They're nothing to feel guilty about.

48:52 Guest No, but they're not my feelings, though.

48:54 Drew But you need to feel guilty about them. That's the point. In order to have them, you have to be punished in order to have those feelings.

49:01 Adam Leon, listen to me. Maybe you're gay, fine, fine. That's all right. Look at all the guys you want, masturbate to all the guys you want, have all the boyfriends you want. It's okay. There's plenty of gay men out there.

49:13 Guest I have a confession to make, though.

49:15 Adam No.

49:15 Caller To you guys.

49:17 Adam Yeah, I don't want to hear it. Oh, now I got to hear it.

49:19 Drew It's going to be a bogus call.

49:20 Adam That's what it's going to be.

49:21 Guest I have to tell you something. It's really important, or it's going to nag me for this in my life.

49:24 Drew This is a bogus call.

49:25 Adam Don't let him say it. I believe. Go ahead.

49:28 Guest Look, okay, for the past two years, I've been calling you, right?

49:31 Adam Yeah.

49:31 Guest I've called in at least 12 times. Yeah. I have a tape deck up here, and I record each and every one of them. I've gone as Steven Andrew.

49:40 Adam Steven Andrew? What?

49:41 Drew See, that's why he's bogus. Really?

49:43 Adam You don't want to talk to him?

49:44 Drew He's going to tell you all the different bogus calls he's had, or whatever.

49:47 Adam All right. Well, that's there.

49:49 Guest Steven, Andrew, Robert, Leon is one of them.

49:52 Adam Yeah. Well, that's you tonight.

49:54 Guest Yes. But you guys are so gullible. It's like each time I call you.

49:57 Adam That's it?

49:58 Caller Each time I call me, it's like, oh, yeah.

50:02 Guest It's like every call. I swear every call out there across America, it's fake. 90 percent of it's fake.

50:08 Adam You think so?

50:08 Guest Yes.

50:10 Adam 90 percent?

50:11 Guest 90 percent of it is.

50:12 Drew You can tell the fact.

50:12 Guest All the kids wanting to have fun on a Friday, Saturday, all throughout the week, they just want to have fun at night. So they call you guys up. I swear that's it. That's all I've been doing for the past two years.

50:22 Adam Yeah. So we're not on Friday or Saturday.

50:25 Guest Sunday.

50:26 Adam Oh, Sunday. All right. Yeah.

50:27 Guest Tonight. Fake. It's all fake.

50:30 Adam You think 90 percent though?

50:31 Guest 95 percent.

50:33 Adam Really?

50:33 Guest I swear to God, it's all fake. Yes. I'd have five other friends all in the same city. They still call you guys.

50:38 Caller They're like, Hey, I called the guys the other night.

50:39 Guest It was like it was totally great, man. It was all fake. I was leading them on.

50:43 Caller All right.

50:44 Guest That's the whole, that's the schmiel right there.

50:46 Caller All right.

50:47 Adam But here's the difference, Leon. I don't care if they're fake. I make 300 grand a year. How much you make call in the show? Yeah.

50:56 Guest You're making money off a lie though.

50:58 Caller I don't care.

51:00 Adam What do you mean? What's a sitcom? You think Jack Tripper really live with those two chicks in Three's company? What do I care, you retard?

51:08 Guest John Ritter.

51:09 Adam Yes. All right, Leon. Keep calling up.

51:11 Guest No, I won't.

51:12 Adam No, please.

51:13 Guest Not anymore.

51:13 Adam I'm begging you.

51:14 Guest No, Jackass.

51:15 Adam Call the show.

51:16 Guest No, Jackass.

51:17 Adam Hey, Leon.

51:18 Caller What?

51:19 Adam What city you live in?

51:20 Guest No, Jackass.

51:21 Adam What city you live in?

51:22 Caller Jackass, whatever.

51:24 Adam Hey, Leon. Whatever.

51:25 Guest Go back to your three grand.

51:27 Adam Three grand? No, it's not three grand. Three hundred grand.

51:30 Guest Yeah, three grand a freaking year. Try to inflate your salary right.

51:35 Adam Hey, Leon.

51:37 Caller Jackass.

51:37 Adam Hey, Leon.

51:38 Caller Jackass.

51:42 Guest Go hurry along now, fellow.

51:44 Caller All right.

51:45 Guest Hurry along, lad.

51:46 Adam What was I? Hold on a second, Leon. I want to talk to Drew. I'll put you on hold, all right? I hang out?

51:52 Caller Yeah.

51:52 Adam All right. I want to talk to you, all right?

51:54 Caller Okay.

51:55 Adam All right.

51:56 Caller All right. Hold on.

51:57 Adam He didn't hang up, did he?

51:58 Drew No, he's still there.

51:59 Adam Leon? Yeah, Jackass? All right.

52:00 Drew Hang on. He's having too much fun.

52:03 Adam All right. That's fine. All right. Let's talk to Kelly here. Kelly?

52:07 Yes.

52:08 Adam You're 25?

52:09 Caller Yes.

52:09 Adam Yeah, I don't believe you.

52:11 Why?

52:11 Adam Well, 95 percent of these calls are bogus.

52:15 Oh, well, no. Mine's true.

52:16 Adam Oh, that's what they all start out saying.

52:19 Drew What's going on?

52:20 Okay. About four, about three and a half, four years ago, I moved to Florida with my boyfriend of the time. And we moved there for three months. And when I first moved there, I didn't like it. And I, like, was upset all the time. And I started eating a lot. And I just kept eating and eating to, you know, make the time go by. And I gained, like, 20 pounds. And then, like, when I came back, I started this new job. I met some new people. And I wanted to start losing weight, like, really fast. So I started eating, like, real healthy foods. But then, like, I would always still crave junk. So, like, when I craved the junk, I would eat as much of it as I possibly could. And then I would get sick.

53:03 Drew You'd vomit?

53:04 Yeah.

53:05 Adam Yeah, so it's a little eating disorder there, right, there, Drew?

53:07 Drew Yeah, hold on a second.

53:08 Adam Hold on a second there, Kelly. We got to take a quick break.

53:11 Drew That's a good thing she's fake.

53:12 Adam Yeah. Leon. Yeah, whatever. Hang on, all right? OK. All right, we're going to take a little break. What city are you in?

53:18 Guest Yeah. OK, buddy.

53:19 Adam What city are you in?

53:21 Guest What?

53:21 Adam You in LA?

53:22 Guest Yes, I'm in LA.

53:23 Adam Oh, good. Good. All right, because let's see if I can hook up with Leon. I have to give him a good ass kicking. I got no problem with kicking Leon's ass. And Leon, you want to come by the parking lot, I'll give you an ass kicking right here. I'll put a microphone out there and give him an ass kicking. I like that. I got no problem with that. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. Leon, you hang on and Kelly, we'll get to you when you're eating disorder after this. We'll be right back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. That's Drew punching the microphone. Stone Temple pilots are going to be in here later this week. Also Lit and Lightning Round coming up later tonight. All right, when we left off, we were speaking to Kelly. Kelly's 25. She eats and tells she vomits. And it just sounds like she has an eating disorder to me. Kelly?

55:02 Caller Oh, yeah.

55:04 Adam So, Kelly?

55:05 Caller Hello?

55:05 Adam Yeah.

55:06 Drew Did you have an eating disorder at any other time during your life?

55:10 Caller I did for a little while. I was a senior in high school.

55:13 Drew OK, so does it surprise you that it would come back again?

55:16 No, but the thing that bothers me now is that recently, in the past year, I've become really secluded from people.

55:28 I tend to get really irritated very easily around people.

55:31 I don't want anybody to be around me. I have really serious mood swings. When I eat now, my stomach hurts really, really bad to the point where even if I don't want to get sick, my stomach feels so full all the time.

55:48 Drew Well, listen, you need to see somebody about what damage you might have done, whether you've caused a gastritis or God knows what, from what you've been doing to yourself. But more importantly, the eating disorder is a sign that there's something really significant going on with your emotional state, and you're telling us more that you're agoraphobic, you can't be outside, can't be in crowds, you're depressed. I mean, this is all something that needs to be treated.

56:12 Adam All right, so do the eating disorder treatment and get all that treated at the same time?

56:17 Drew Well, just see a professional who could have the whole thing assessed and get under care, whether or not it's taking medication for depression or having a full comprehensive treatment of the eating disorder remains to be seen.

56:26 Adam All right, let's check back in with Leon or a Loveline bogus scholar. Leon?

56:30 Caller Hey, media whore, how's it going?

56:31 Adam All right, hang tight, all right?

56:32 Caller Okay, Jackass.

56:33 Adam All right, what?

56:35 Guest Okay, I'm chilling here, Jackass, media whore.

56:37 Adam Okay, which one's who?

56:40 Guest Actually, you are the media whore, and I am sort of a Jackass for talking to you for such a long time.

56:46 Adam Oh, come on, buddy. Don't be so hard on yourself.

56:48 Guest What? You know what? I'd eat your ass for breakfast. You have your bodyguards out there protecting you.

56:53 Caller And you know, you're a celebrity.

56:54 Guest You can't get your hands dirty.

56:56 Adam Oh, no. Listen.

56:57 Guest I would beat you down.

56:58 Adam Oh, yeah?

56:59 Guest Yes.

57:00 Adam Okay, listen.

57:01 Guest Oh, man.

57:01 Adam I'll tell you what. You bring it on.

57:05 Guest Right, right. Okay. And then you know what? It's going to be all across the tabloids.

57:09 Adam No one cares what I do.

57:10 Guest Talk show, host, loveline, blah, blah, blah, whatever gets beaten up by a long time listener for being a jackass.

57:20 Adam Well, listen, you name the place.

57:23 Guest Okay, but I'm going to chill out here.

57:24 Caller I'm not through.

57:25 Adam Hang on. Hang on.

57:27 Caller Okay.

57:28 Adam All right, listen.

57:28 Caller I'm not through.

57:29 Adam All right, listen. Come on over here if you want.

57:31 Caller Right.

57:32 Adam Come on over.

57:33 Caller Right.

57:33 Guest And then when do I get to see your bodyguards like creating a human shield around you?

57:38 Adam Oh, no, no, listen. I will personally kick your ass if you come over here. I guarantee you that.

57:44 Guest Do you have a black belt in Kung Fu? I think not.

57:47 Adam I will guarantee I will personally kick your ass if you come here and no one else will touch you except for me.

57:54 Guest Can I get that in writing?

57:55 Adam Yes. Yes. Come on down. Right. I'll put you on hold. I'll give you the address. You come on down.

58:00 Caller Okay.

58:00 Adam Certainly.

58:01 Caller All right.

58:02 Adam That will be good times.

58:05 Caller David?

58:06 Drew Just put his picture of who Leon is for a second.

58:09 Adam Still I have no problem beating the crap out of him. I really don't.

58:12 Drew I thought you would just kill the guy.

58:13 Adam I just want one good one. I won't hit him in the face. I just want one to the body. Just want to just double him over.

58:20 Caller You should, Adam.

58:21 Adam Thank you. I will.

58:22 Caller That guy sounds like an a-hole.

58:23 Adam I will do it.

58:24 Caller Seriously.

58:25 Adam David, you're 16. What's up?

58:27 Drew Did you think of all those times, those years boxing? This is a chance to put it all into...

58:30 Adam That's the time to put it all into one good punch.

58:33 Caller If I was closer to the station, I'd come down to help you.

58:35 Adam Oh, I'm not going to need any help.

58:37 Drew He won't need any help.

58:38 Adam No help at all.

58:39 Caller Yeah, I understand. All right, well, check it out. I've been having sex for three years now. I've never had a problem keeping it up. And then just a couple days ago, in the middle of sex, it just completely...

58:53 Drew Were you smoking pot that night?

58:55 Caller I do all the time, like, every day.

58:56 Drew Well, there you go.

58:58 Caller Really? You think that could be it?

58:59 Drew Oh, yeah. It'll start to happen more as time goes along.

59:02 Caller More? Really?

59:03 Drew As the pot raises estrogen levels, presses mood. People that smoke pot...

59:08 Adam Well, he was stoned while he was trying to have sex, right?

59:10 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

59:11 Adam No?

59:11 Caller No.

59:12 Drew Well, when are you not stoned?

59:14 Caller Well, I usually am, like, when I wake up.

59:15 Drew Okay.

59:16 Caller And then before I get bed. And maybe, like, for...

59:19 Drew Wait, can we reenact that, please? Oh, come on. When are you not so well? I usually wake up until I go to bed.

59:26 Adam Yeah, but you don't always get stoned, like, in the middle of the night, like, when you don't set your alarm and get up and get stoned, right?

59:31 Caller No, no.

59:32 Adam No. No, all right, so you don't have a real problem with it.

59:33 Caller I make 420 in the morning.

59:35 Adam Right. Okay. Hey, David? Yeah. You gotta back off on the weed. Really?

59:39 Drew And don't worry about the erection thing. The anxiety about it happening will make it, or make it more likely that it will happen again. But the marijuana is what's going on here. The people who smoke a lot of pot get low sex drive, have difficulty with erection sometimes.

59:52 Adam Yeah.

59:52 Drew It's part of the deal.

59:53 Adam Yes. Margo. Hey. You're 23.

59:56 Caller Yeah.

59:57 Adam What's up?

59:58 Caller First of all, that guy sounds like a real jerk, and he just cut him off.

1:00:01 Adam No, I'm intrigued by him. And listen, I want to kick his ass. I have no problem with that.

1:00:09 Caller Okay. My cousin, I went to a family reunion recently, and I just met a bunch of my cousins. And one of them was sleeping in the room with me, and I passed out. We drank a lot that night, and I woke up, and he was like naked on top of me.

1:00:24 Drew The first cousin?

1:00:25 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:00:27 Caller I know.

1:00:28 Adam It was a reunion. Come on, you really want to get to know your family?

1:00:31 Drew The second cousin.

1:00:32 Caller Yeah.

1:00:33 Adam How old is he?

1:00:34 Caller He's 26. And he was just like, well, we're not that closely related. And since this is the first time we met, it's like we're not really cousins. We're not really related.

1:00:46 Adam And had you met? You never met him before?

1:00:49 Caller Right. Yeah.

1:00:49 Adam All right.

1:00:50 Caller So and now he's called my house like 50 million times. And then I was over at my other cousin's house and he was calling over there.

1:00:59 Adam Yeah.

1:00:59 Caller And he won't stop.

1:01:01 Adam And well, what happened when you woke up and he was on top of you naked?

1:01:05 Caller Well, I came to pretty quick there and he's like, then he started talking. I'm like, what are you doing? You know, you want to get off. And he's like, oh, we're, you know, we're not that closely related.

1:01:16 Adam All right. But did he stop?

1:01:18 Caller Well, it wasn't like violent, but he pretty much, you know, did what he wanted.

1:01:26 Drew You had sex with him?

1:01:27 Caller Talked him out of it, you know.

1:01:29 Drew Yeah.

1:01:29 Adam It's hard to talk guys out of it.

1:01:31 Drew Yeah.

1:01:32 Adam Especially family. I know how that can be. Well, it's very tricky talking to family about sex, you know.

1:01:38 Drew When they're having it with you.

1:01:39 Adam My dad wants a handful of ass. He's had a long day at work. You know what I mean? As long as you're under this roof, you ever got that, you'll blow me. Sure, you got that from your dad.

1:01:51 Drew Everyone does.

1:01:52 Adam Your dad couldn't afford a prostitute. Well, he could, but he was saving some money. Yeah. See, I knew something. Margot was describing it as if nothing had gone on.

1:02:02 Caller Yeah.

1:02:02 Adam But I knew something must have gone on, otherwise the guy wouldn't keep calling.

1:02:07 Caller Right.

1:02:08 Adam You know you're in a bad place dating when you look at a family reunion as a, you know, potential opportunity for dates. I mean, you know, just like, hey, listen, some of these folks I haven't spent too much time with growing up. It ain't going to be weird. Oh, yes. Taboo, too. All right. Hey, Margot, what's happened to you or what's up with you that you would let this go on? What happened to you?

1:02:35 Caller My dad died like five months ago, and this is his side of the family, and I never really knew them.

1:02:41 Adam No. What's up? Were you ever been raped before?

1:02:45 Caller Yeah.

1:02:46 Drew How old were you?

1:02:48 Caller Well, I know, I've had mostly one-night stands and stuff like that.

1:02:53 Drew Were you sexually abused when you were young?

1:02:55 Caller No.

1:02:56 Adam Huh?

1:02:56 Caller No, uh-uh.

1:02:57 Adam What's up?

1:02:58 Drew Were you physically abused?

1:02:59 Caller Well, no. My parents never hit me or anything like that. My dad was just sick a lot, you know.

1:03:06 Adam Yeah. Were you a fat kid?

1:03:08 Caller No.

1:03:09 Adam Well, what's up? What's up with you? A bunch of one-night stands. Your cousin rolls over on top of you when you're passed out drunk. You don't really have the heart to stop him or tell him no. What's up?

1:03:19 Caller He's schizophrenic, too. So I was kind of afraid what he might do because he's been known to wig out, I guess.

1:03:26 Drew Wouldn't that be even more reason to really make a scene?

1:03:30 Caller Yeah, more reason for me to stay away from him.

1:03:32 Adam Well, your impulse to stay away from him is fine, but what about the series of one-night stands, no relationships?

1:03:39 Caller I really don't know because I question that a lot, too. Because I really don't have relationships. I just, you know, and like it's got to where sex isn't even like anything, you know, it's just like something you do and then I don't want anything to do with him afterwards.

1:03:55 Drew Yeah, something's up, Margot. Well, what was your dad sick with?

1:03:59 Caller He had ITP. It was like a blood disease.

1:04:01 Drew You mean thrombocytopenia purpura?

1:04:03 Adam Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1:04:05 Caller He had a spleen removed and died of the flu, actually.

1:04:09 Drew Yeah, but ITP is not something that makes you sick all the time so much.

1:04:13 Caller It was like he couldn't get hit or else he would bleed profusely and then he had spinal meningitis a couple of times. Most people die from that and the doctors were always amazed.

1:04:25 Adam All right, so maybe that's going to factor in here. Margo, you got to get a little therapy and stay away from your cousin.

1:04:32 Caller I know. Well, I'm trying to stay away from him, but it's like I don't want to tell his dad what happened because it will start a big family feud.

1:04:41 Adam No, it shouldn't start a family feud if this guy raped you.

1:04:45 Caller Yeah.

1:04:46 Adam They should be angry at him.

1:04:47 Drew Why would you think people would side with him at all?

1:04:50 Caller I don't know. There's always because I told one of my cousins about it, and it's like, well, he's not all there, and maybe it was because he was drinking, and maybe it's because of this, and maybe it's because of that.

1:05:01 Drew Well, whatever, but it doesn't make it okay.

1:05:05 Adam It's nice though you have that sort of running defense for the guy. All right. We'll talk to Brian. Brian? Brian?

1:05:17 Caller Yes.

1:05:18 Adam 24?

1:05:19 Caller 24.

1:05:19 Adam What's up?

1:05:21 Caller Well, I have one question. First of all, I wanted to know, what's your analysis about that guy that just called in and so upset? You think it's a jealousy thing? What do you think that is?

1:05:30 Drew Leon?

1:05:31 Caller Yeah.

1:05:31 Drew I don't know what you're asking, Brian.

1:05:32 Adam I think he's just bored, really. Well, here's, I'll give you.

1:05:37 Drew They can put them on together, if you want.

1:05:39 Adam I can do it? What do I do? Just press the lower one?

1:05:41 Drew Yeah, just push it.

1:05:42 Adam I tell you one thing, Leon is not getting any tail. Guys who do a lot of prank calling do not get sex. That's one of the things.

1:05:52 Caller Maybe that's why he's so irritated with maybe you or something.

1:05:55 Adam He could be angry about it. I don't know. You ask him yourself. Here he is.

1:05:59 Guest The only reason I'm trying to irritate you is because you're so thin-skinned. The same thing with all the celebrities out there in the media of world.

1:06:05 Caller Do you want to be famous, bud?

1:06:07 Guest What? Do I want to be famous? No, hell no, I don't want to be famous because I lose my identity if I do that.

1:06:12 Caller Then I get it.

1:06:14 Adam What identity? The guy that's not getting laid?

1:06:17 Caller Penny from humanity.

1:06:19 Adam From humanity.

1:06:20 Caller Anyway, that wasn't my question.

1:06:21 Caller My question was about him.

1:06:23 Adam Hold on there, Leon. We'll get back to you.

1:06:24 Caller Yeah, please. We will.

1:06:25 Adam I'm sorry. Go ahead, Brian.

1:06:28 Caller Yeah, we're just getting engaged and so forth. And a lot of the reason why is because she is pregnant now. And we had done ecstasy. I don't know if you guys have heard of the drug or anything.

1:06:38 Drew No, never heard of ecstasy. Never heard of that one.

1:06:40 Adam Drew dealt it in college. Are you kidding?

1:06:42 Caller Heard of it.

1:06:44 Adam Yeah.

1:06:44 Caller But anyway, a big drug going around now and I don't know much about it.

1:06:48 Drew It is a profoundly dangerous drug. It is shocking to me that people could be using this with such casualness. It is the National Institute on Drug and Alcohol Dependency is going to put out a series of PET scans basically that show the brain damage from even moderate exposure to ecstasy. It is a very serious neurotoxic chemical.

1:07:09 Caller Now, has there been any test done with pregnancies and so forth?

1:07:12 Drew Absolutely. All those stimulants are the worst that you can possibly do during pregnancy. I would rather see somebody shooting heroin.

1:07:20 Adam No, really? So you recommend heroin?

1:07:21 Drew Don't recommend it. We're going to make choices. I'll take the opiates any day.

1:07:25 Adam Hey, Brian? Yeah? One thing you kind of slipped in under the radar is you're getting married. She's pregnant. That's a lot of the reason why you're getting married. Do you want to get married?

1:07:36 Caller Yes. Well, we've known each other for like four years.

1:07:38 Caller All right.

1:07:38 Adam Well, we've known each other.

1:07:39 Caller And we have another kid together, and we made the mistake of not getting married then. Although, we've stayed together and worked things out.

1:07:44 Adam I see.

1:07:45 Caller All right.

1:07:46 Caller And we've tried to be the best parents that we can be for him.

1:07:48 Adam Okay. Well, so you're saying she was high on X when she was pregnant?

1:07:53 Caller Yeah. Well, we didn't know she was pregnant then. And she's not the type that would do anything well.

1:07:57 Adam Right, Brian.

1:07:57 Drew I see. It was right at the moment she got pregnant, or?

1:08:00 Caller Well, we just found out. When we found out, let's see, when was it? We found out a month ago.

1:08:07 Drew And how long after conception was she doing drugs?

1:08:10 Caller See, we think a month.

1:08:12 Adam Yeah, that's all right.

1:08:13 Caller So would that be pretty safe? Well, listen.

1:08:17 Adam Hold on a second, Drew. Let me answer this.

1:08:19 Caller Please do.

1:08:19 Adam It's not a great idea. We don't recommend it. But think about all the stuff that people have done before they knew they were pregnant. People turn out all right anyway. All right. So the kid's not going to come up with the cure for cancer. Big deal. Get a nice job driving a forklift. Buy one of those houses that comes in two pieces. Put them together right in the middle. All right. Where are we going here, Drew?

1:08:44 Drew You don't talk to him?

1:08:45 Adam Oh, I don't know. I can't take too much more.

1:08:47 Drew You're tiring him out. He won't come down here. He can bring a couple of friends with him. Yeah. They can all take you on.

1:08:53 Caller Yeah. Listen.

1:08:55 Adam Seriously. No, he's a... I listen. Nicole.

1:08:59 Caller Hello.

1:08:59 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:09:01 Caller Yeah. I had a question. Okay. I have psoriasis, and the first and last breakout was about two years ago on my hand. And they said the dermatologist said or something if I get tattoos or ear piercings, I can't get them because it can affect it or whatever. Yeah. And I can break out in a keloid. So does that mean I can't get tattoos at all? Because I want a tattoo.

1:09:20 Adam Yeah.

1:09:21 Drew Well, the dermatologist said you can't get tattoos.

1:09:24 Adam Can't get them. You'll get one of those great scars.

1:09:28 Drew What do you think he meant?

1:09:29 Caller I don't know. I just thought maybe if I got a second opinion or a third opinion.

1:09:34 Drew Well.

1:09:35 Caller I wanted to know your opinion.

1:09:36 Drew It can stimulate the psoriasis. It can come out in and around those areas of irritation.

1:09:40 Adam What tat do you want anyway?

1:09:42 Caller A star, a death cone star.

1:09:44 Adam Why?

1:09:45 Caller Because I love the death cones.

1:09:47 Adam What is that? Star Trek or something?

1:09:50 Caller Yeah. No. A band.

1:09:51 Adam Oh. Do you say death tones? I thought you said Def Con or something. Oh. Okay. Well, death tones have been on this show.

1:09:58 Caller Yeah. They're awesome.

1:09:58 Adam Yeah. All right. Get one of those. I'm sure when you're in your 40s, you'll still be a huge, huge death tones fan. Yeah. Drew has a Bay City roller set tattoo on his right ass cheek.

1:10:12 Drew I know you forgot. It's Humble Pie.

1:10:13 Adam Oh, Humble Pie. That's right. 30 Days in the Hole.

1:10:18 Caller Hey, Adam.

1:10:19 Adam Wasn't that a Humble Pie song? Yeah.

1:10:21 Caller Kick that dude's ass.

1:10:22 Adam I'm going to.

1:10:23 Caller Yeah.

1:10:24 Adam He won't. No, he's too big a pussy to come over here. But listen, I'm not a liar. He'll come over here. I'll square up with him. No problems. No one else will get involved. Leon?

1:10:35 Guest I'm trying to back out of it. I hear it in your voice.

1:10:37 Adam Leon?

1:10:38 Guest That's why you're keeping me on.

1:10:38 Adam Hey, Leon, seriously.

1:10:42 Drew Hey, Leon.

1:10:43 Adam I know you'll never do it, but I'll give you the address of the place. You can come on over.

1:10:48 Guest I am polishing my brass knuckles as we speak.

1:10:50 Adam Bring them over. Right. Bring them over.

1:10:53 Guest Okay.

1:10:54 Adam Bring them over. You can use them if you want. It won't bother me at all.

1:10:58 Guest Easier said than done, right, Adam?

1:11:00 Adam No, not. Listen.

1:11:01 Guest It sounds good on the radio.

1:11:03 Adam Hey, Leon.

1:11:05 Guest I mean, the audience really like eat if they feed off of it, like hyenas.

1:11:09 Adam You come over and find out.

1:11:11 Guest You see, you see. You gotta back it up with an actual fist. No.

1:11:13 Adam Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Right, right. Oh, yes. I used to do it for a living. I had no problem doing it on you.

1:11:21 Guest Yeah, but if you could do that, you wouldn't be able to because I'm too strong and fast.

1:11:25 Adam Come on down and we'll find out. That's all I'm saying, brother.

1:11:29 Guest I'm going to get kicked off the lot.

1:11:30 Adam No, you will not. I'll let you ride on in. I have no problem with that.

1:11:34 Guest That's a lie. That's another lie.

1:11:36 Adam All right. Hang on, Leon. I'm serious. How far away are you? Because you only have like 40 minutes now.

1:11:42 Drew By the way, you have to finish by midnight because Adam gets in his car and leaves.

1:11:45 Adam You're going to need to get here right at 12 because I want to be in my car at 1202. Okay.

1:11:52 Guest Because you're going to go home to your Tuve and your Ikea furniture.

1:11:55 Adam Tuve? Oh, Tuve? What is that?

1:11:59 Caller The comforter.

1:12:00 Adam Oh, that's a Duve.

1:12:03 Guest That's something I'm going to wrap you up with and I'm kicking your ass.

1:12:05 Adam That's a Duve. It's not a Tuve. Yeah, I don't have one of those, but I got to get one of those. I do have the comforter though. I enjoy that.

1:12:13 Drew Tuve.

1:12:14 Adam Stephanie. Stephanie, it's great that he made a point of mispronouncing that word, get home to your Tuve. Stephanie, you're 17. What's up? Oh, really? Yeah. That's no fun, though, because chicks don't snore.

1:12:33 Drew If she did, though. There she is. Her breathing.

1:12:40 Adam Now, they're no fun when they fall asleep, women. All right. Let's see. Let's talk to Michael. Michael, you're 19. What's up?

1:12:49 Caller Um, I have, like, um, like a brew. I have two questions, actually. One is, I have, like, a bruise-type looking thing on my penis, and, um, I don't know, when I was younger, it wasn't there, but, like, or ever since I found out, like, when you touch your penis a lot, and you could shoot.

1:13:10 Drew Wow, that is the most, sort of, poetic description of masturbation I've heard in a long time.

1:13:14 Adam Wow, yeah.

1:13:15 Drew When you found out that you could touch it, it could shoot.

1:13:18 Adam Are you published, Michael?

1:13:20 Caller No.

1:13:20 Adam No.

1:13:21 Caller I found out it was free, so it was the best.

1:13:23 Adam Yeah.

1:13:24 Caller And, um, like, I guess it started showing up, and I was like, well, am I bruising it or what? And I didn't know what it was. It looks like a birthmark, too, but if it was a birthmark, you know, it wouldn't have been there.

1:13:35 Drew Well, if it was a bruise, it would have gotten better over time, it wouldn't stay fixed.

1:13:38 Caller Yeah, but I'd whack off, like, 10 times a day.

1:13:40 Drew Still would have gotten better. I don't know what he's describing, but somebody should look at it.

1:13:46 Adam Urologist?

1:13:47 Drew Yeah, somebody. Dermatologist. General doctor would be fine.

1:13:50 Adam Really? 10 times a day, though. Man, after my own heart. Paul?

1:13:54 Yeah.

1:13:55 Adam You're 23. What's up?

1:13:57 Caller I'm kind of wondering. I know I don't have schizophrenia. I'm pretty sure anyway. But I have symptoms that are similar, you know, to what usually we consider that. And I just wonder if I can...

1:14:06 Drew What are your symptoms?

1:14:07 Caller All right, thanks. I need... Excuse me.

1:14:09 Drew What are your symptoms?

1:14:10 Caller Kind of nervous. A lot of times, I'll hear things. You know, nothing like nobody talking to me or telling me to do things. Just, I don't know, like maybe being in an airport, kind of sounds off to the side all around you, you know. A lot of times it happens before I'm going to bed or when I'm relaxing. But I've been finding lately, it's been getting, I guess, more persistent. Like at work, I might just be sitting hanging out and you'll hear things, you know.

1:14:32 Drew What are those things? I don't know clear what you hear.

1:14:34 Caller Well, that's the point. It's nothing specific. It's just you might think it was someone 10 feet away talking, mumbling. Sometimes it might, like a minute ago, I heard some beeps, you know.

1:14:44 Drew Anything else you hear or anything else happening?

1:14:48 Caller I don't, I'm fairly paranoid, but I don't know if that's with that or if that's just the personality.

1:14:53 Drew You believe that people are thinking about you're trying to do something to you?

1:14:57 Caller No, just thinking about me, you know.

1:14:58 Drew People think, doing speed?

1:15:00 What?

1:15:01 Caller No.

1:15:02 Adam No?

1:15:03 No.

1:15:03 Caller I'm just real nervous. That's what you're asking.

1:15:05 Drew You're not doing any stimulants?

1:15:07 Caller Every once in a while, we'll smoke a little marijuana.

1:15:10 Not a lot, though.

1:15:11 Adam Well, wait a minute. But these feelings, when did they start up?

1:15:15 Caller Well, like the paranoia feeling, that would just be anytime. That's almost my whole life.

1:15:20 Adam Your whole life?

1:15:21 Caller Yeah.

1:15:21 Adam How much worse do you feel now than you did five years ago?

1:15:28 Caller At some point, I came aware of it. As far as I can remember my whole life, I've always went to bed with the stereo, barely loud, things like that. And then, I don't know, you pick up things over time, and I noticed it. It's not that I feel worse or better. It's just like a thing that's there. Doesn't feel threatening.

1:15:43 Drew All right. It doesn't sound like a psychotic condition at first brush. People that are psychotic don't really know they're not hearing the things they think they're hearing.

1:15:52 Adam Yeah.

1:15:53 Drew They believe it. They actually believe it.

1:15:54 Adam You can't be nuts if you know you're nuts.

1:15:56 Drew Well, basically, that's true. I think that's a rule of thumb. But he may have some sort of chronic process of paranoid problem that he's got going, and they may be very anxious now, and that may be creating funny symptoms. But there are medical conditions that can do this. Thyroid conditions can do this. Brain disorders of various types can do this. So someone needs to start with a medical evaluation and get checked out.

1:16:17 Adam What is Barbara here?

1:16:19 Drew I can't quite figure it out. Just found out kid's dad is married. Should she tell his wife? Kid's dad is married.

1:16:25 Adam What does that mean? Barbara?

1:16:26 Drew Hi.

1:16:27 Adam What's up?

1:16:28 I was dating this married man, and I didn't know he was married. And I ended up being pregnant. And that's when he decided to tell me. But everybody is telling me I should get a hold of his wife and tell her.

1:16:40 Adam Okay. Good enough. Hold on a second.

1:16:42 Okay.

1:16:42 Adam All right. Let's check Leon real fast here. Bogus caller Leon.

1:16:47 Guest Yeah, you're so smart.

1:16:48 Adam Leon, you got to come down here, brother, because I'm going to be getting out of here.

1:16:53 Guest Spell Duvet if you're so smart.

1:16:55 Adam Listen.

1:16:55 Caller Spell Duvet if you're so smart.

1:16:58 Adam Listen, I'm not the one who mispronounced it. Now come on down here.

1:17:01 Guest Because I was frothing at the mouth.

1:17:03 Adam Come on down here.

1:17:04 Caller Right. Okay.

1:17:05 Adam Seriously, what city are you calling from?

1:17:07 Guest I'm calling from West Bank.

1:17:09 Adam All right. You're not coming down here.

1:17:11 Guest Yes, I am.

1:17:11 Adam Come on, pussy. Come on down.

1:17:13 Guest What the hell you call?

1:17:14 Adam Come on down, pussy. I'll give you the address. Listen, I'll go talk to you right up there. Leon?

1:17:19 Guest Yeah.

1:17:19 Adam I'm going to talk to you off the air. I'll give you the address. Okay.

1:17:21 Guest You're off.

1:17:22 Adam All right.

1:17:22 Caller Hang on.

1:17:23 Adam All right. We'll be back. I swear to Christ, I hope this guy comes down here. I'm going to love kicking his ass. All right. We'll be back in a minute.

1:17:35 Drew The Batamcrawl and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:18:10 Adam All right. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I spoke to a caller, Leon, off the air and invited him down. He said he was calling from Palm Springs, and said he was going to be in town next week, so I told him he can come down next week. And then he said he liked the show.

1:18:31 Drew He's bisexual.

1:18:32 Adam So I guess he's back on board. All right. Barbara, you're 20. What's up? Oh, wait a minute. I know what's up with you. You're dating a married guy. You didn't know he was married?

1:18:46 Caller No. What he told me afterwards was that his wife worked in South Carolina for during the week when he was only home on the weekends, and that's when he said he was working.

1:18:56 Adam I see. I don't know, but I just decided to go along with it.

1:19:00 Drew I didn't get that at all.

1:19:02 Adam His wife would go to South Carolina to work all week, and then on weekends she'd be home, and he'd say he'd be working on weekends.

1:19:11 Caller Yeah.

1:19:12 Drew I see.

1:19:12 Adam So it was very convenient.

1:19:13 Drew I see.

1:19:14 Caller Yeah.

1:19:15 Adam Would you go to their house, though?

1:19:16 Caller Yeah. He had two little kids who I took everywhere.

1:19:20 Adam Oh.

1:19:23 Drew Where do you think the mother of the children was?

1:19:25 Caller He told me she ran out on him like a year ago.

1:19:30 Adam What about the house itself?

1:19:33 Drew No sign of her anywhere?

1:19:34 Adam No pictures, no perfume.

1:19:36 Caller No pictures of her, but I guess there was signs that I should have recognized.

1:19:40 Drew Like all her toiletry stuff was out?

1:19:43 Caller No, but I mean just how nice the house was, you know.

1:19:46 Adam Doilies everywhere?

1:19:47 Caller Yeah. I mean, I guess I should have recognized something like that, but I wasn't looking for it.

1:19:51 Adam How old are these kids, by the way?

1:19:54 Caller Three and four.

1:19:57 Adam This guy's got wavos as big as all outdoors. You know what I mean?

1:20:02 Caller Yeah.

1:20:02 Adam I mean, listen, I understand cheating, but bringing her over to the pad, hanging out with the kids.

1:20:08 Caller He doesn't even work, is what I found out now. He lives off of her. Wow.

1:20:13 Adam Fantastic.

1:20:14 Drew He's just a sociopath.

1:20:16 Adam Hey, Barbara.

1:20:17 Drew He doesn't care.

1:20:18 Adam What's wrong with you that you would be attracted to this guy?

1:20:22 Caller I didn't know he was married.

1:20:23 Drew No, no, no.

1:20:24 Adam No.

1:20:25 Caller No, I didn't.

1:20:26 Drew He's a bad guy.

1:20:27 Adam Listen, here's...

1:20:29 Caller I always get the bad guy.

1:20:30 Drew Yes.

1:20:30 Adam There you go.

1:20:31 Drew Why?

1:20:31 Adam Here's the deal, everyone. You don't need to know specifics. You just need to know if someone's bad or not. And it's easy to know bad people. It really is.

1:20:39 Caller But the sex is good.

1:20:41 Adam Of course. Well, sure, with his kids in the room. I mean, with that kind of audience. No, they were always asleep.

1:20:47 Drew Yeah. Sex is good, but it's like fetish sex.

1:20:50 Caller Yeah, it was.

1:20:51 Adam What was he doing? What was he doing to you, baby?

1:20:56 Caller He was going to make me get all flustered up. He liked to.

1:21:05 Drew Oh my God.

1:21:07 Caller Hold on a second.

1:21:09 Drew This is one of those, I'm flustered, I can't talk about these things.

1:21:16 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:21:18 Drew That all got dropped though, people didn't appreciate it. Again, the poetic, right? That all got blanked out.

1:21:23 Adam Let me explain what Barbara said. Barbara did not want to talk about his sexual proclivity.

1:21:33 Drew She doesn't like talking, it makes, she gets embarrassed.

1:21:35 Adam She gets a little flustered.

1:21:36 Drew She's delicate sensibilities.

1:21:37 Adam She's got to be honest with you, with us, she's not proud of what went on in that bedroom because of, yes, her sensibilities and the finishing school and walking around all those years of the book on her head for posture. But anyway, tells a story of him liking a double-headed dildo and like to corn a hole himself with it while it was in her. Other than that, pretty straight sex stuff, I'd say, wouldn't you say, Drew? All right. Barbara?

1:22:10 Caller Yeah.

1:22:10 Adam Let me make sure we're on the same page here. One end of the fake penis was in him, right?

1:22:20 Caller Yes.

1:22:21 Adam Yes? Yes. The other end was in you? Which part of you?

1:22:27 Caller In my.

1:22:30 Adam Hey, Barbara. I don't want to know how you speak when you're not on the radio. I imagine.

1:22:38 Caller You don't want to know.

1:22:40 Drew We're just using our imagination. We can kind of figure it out.

1:22:42 Adam I pretty much. I pretty pretty much think pretty much just mother effort and then like some connecting words like and if occasionally like market, you know, mother food. OK. All right. All right. So anyway, Barbara, what the hell happened to you? Yes. That's the big question. Oh, and now you're pregnant.

1:23:04 Caller No, I have my son.

1:23:05 Adam Oh, you have your son.

1:23:06 Caller And it's his.

1:23:07 Drew And it's his child.

1:23:08 Caller Yes, it is.

1:23:09 Adam Did he forget to pull out the dildo?

1:23:12 Caller No, we had regular.

1:23:13 Adam Condom broke on the dildo?

1:23:16 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:23:18 Adam Oh, you're going to make one hell of a mother.

1:23:20 Caller I am a great mom.

1:23:21 Adam You're a delight.

1:23:22 Caller I do. I work two jobs and I take care of them. I do all the bills and everything.

1:23:26 Drew Yeah. Working two jobs, by the way, does not equate with great mom.

1:23:30 Adam Yeah. I'm a great, great father. I'm working on the Alaskan Pipeline right now.

1:23:35 Drew Seem like it's a Christmas.

1:23:37 Adam How can you be a mom when you got two jobs?

1:23:40 Caller The one job I only work about two times a week.

1:23:45 Adam Yeah.

1:23:46 Caller Two to three times a week, but it brings in extra cash.

1:23:48 Adam All right, baby. All right, listen, we're tired of digging in on you, but this guy's a horrible guy. No, just let him have his own sort of hell that he's in. The soup, the mire that he's in is so poisonous. Just let him fester in it. I know you're screwed up and you want to act out, but find someone new to act out on.

1:24:09 Caller No, I do really good. I'm in a good relationship now.

1:24:13 Drew Good. We would bet that if you were trying to do the guy, there's something up with him. Yeah. Was your dad an alcoholic?

1:24:19 Adam I'm going three-headed dildo. That's what I'm guessing. Is it they make those the Delta dildo?

1:24:27 Caller Mothra.

1:24:33 Adam Yeah. Who's this new guy? I don't trust him.

1:24:36 Caller He's a good guy.

1:24:39 Adam What's he do?

1:24:40 Caller He sells tickets.

1:24:42 Adam Oh, he sells tickets? To the Policeman's Ball?

1:24:45 Caller No, to like games and concerts and stuff.

1:24:47 Drew Already sells them out in front of the stadium?

1:24:50 Caller No, he owns a company that sells them. Right.

1:24:54 Adam Professional scalper. Yeah. I see. I don't trust this guy either, by the way, because that's a sleazy ass job.

1:25:02 Caller No, it's not.

1:25:03 Adam It's sleazy. You know what that is?

1:25:04 Caller He has a humongous house.

1:25:06 Adam Let me tell you what that job is. Here's how I make money. I rip people off for a living. I take $35 concert tickets and I charge $600 for them by taking a bunch of teenagers and drug addicts and putting them in line so they can get a wristband and then give it back to me. It's really a horrible profession run by horrible people. It's almost as low as publicist. Almost.

1:25:33 Drew What was your dad like?

1:25:34 Adam Parking enforcement, publicist, ticket scalpers. That's how it goes.

1:25:39 Drew What was your dad like?

1:25:40 Adam What was he? He sell used RVs or something?

1:25:44 Caller No, my dad. My dad's never abused me in any way.

1:25:48 Adam What did he do for a living?

1:25:51 Caller He sells rags.

1:25:53 Adam Sells rags?

1:25:55 Caller They take their main thing is they take used clothing.

1:25:58 Adam They make them into rags.

1:25:59 Caller The third world countries and the leftovers they make into rags.

1:26:02 Adam Yeah. All right. There's another good gig. All right. Well, Barbara, all right. Stick with this new guy. Don't tell him all the stories about the old guy.

1:26:13 Caller No, I won't.

1:26:14 Adam Good woman. Good woman. And keep an eye on him. I don't trust him. All right.

1:26:21 Caller Thanks.

1:26:22 Adam All right.

1:26:22 Caller OK.

1:26:23 Adam All right. Listen.

1:26:25 Drew Forget about telling that wife, by the way. Don't get involved with that other guy, Good Riddance.

1:26:29 Adam Right. Right.

1:26:30 Drew You get involved with him again, you'll be a web you'll never extract yourself from.

1:26:33 Adam Oh, I don't know why I have such disdain for those sort of pseudo business guys that have some sort of business, but it's not really a business. It's more about it's sort of legally ripping people off. It's sort of like an above the board scam, essentially. There's certain businesses that are that way. And these guys drive me nuts. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I don't like the fact that they're making money off of something that seems so easy. But I hate guys who don't have tangible skills. And those guys end up just selling stuff. And I hate salesmen. I never trust them. TV salesmen are horrible people. Car salesmen are horrible people. I don't mean selling the TV. Where do you get inside a TV and see the guys who sell the shows? It's just a bunch of guys with fake white teeth are playing golf all the time and laughing. Oh, I'm Stu Jenkins. Well, nice to meet you. They're traveling and they're cheating on their wives. And they're just they're horrible. People that sell stuff are horrible people. People that sell stuff just can't do anything else. That's what that is to me. And publicists.

1:27:40 Drew That's sorry people.

1:27:42 Adam Oh, Angel.

1:27:44 Yes.

1:27:44 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:27:48 Caller I've been getting yeast infections for the last like eight months, almost on a regular basis. And I'm a dancer and I wondered if maybe like the baby wipes I'm using at work or maybe even my jacuzzi that I have at home, could that be adding to my problem?

1:28:04 Drew Jacuzzi could. Ballerina?

1:28:07 Adam Modern jazz or a contemporary or interpretive dance. What do you do? I'm going to modern. A ballet? What?

1:28:15 Caller Oh, exotic.

1:28:16 Adam Oh, exotic. Interesting. I never think that one. And you go out, use baby wipes at work though, huh? Yeah. But what? So you don't smudge up the glass, the mirror in the back of the?

1:28:31 Caller No, there's no touching.

1:28:32 Adam Oh, I see. But you don't want to grease the pole up for the next girl. What do you use?

1:28:38 Caller No. I mean, I just use it just, I don't know, to be clean.

1:28:42 Drew You're wrong about this night. I'm going to remember this.

1:28:45 Adam You're going to remember this? All right. It's a good thing I announced it. Use the baby wipes when you're backstage before you come out on stage.

1:28:52 Caller Right. Exactly.

1:28:53 Adam I see.

1:28:54 Drew For makeup removal.

1:28:55 Adam No, no, no. Downstairs.

1:28:57 Caller Yeah.

1:28:58 Adam Yeah. Are you wearing rouge on your crotch? No. You just like, you don't want to go out there.

1:29:05 Caller Pretty common. Seriously. I mean, I just, I don't want to be moist, you know?

1:29:10 Adam Right. I understand. Listen, hold on a second, Drew. If I were going to go out and do some dancing where I was going to spread my ass, you're damn right I'd give it a good wiping down before I hit the stage. And everyone in the front row would appreciate it.

1:29:23 Drew Hey, that's just kind of hosing down.

1:29:25 Adam Hosing, a dipping, and something that was bubbling.

1:29:29 Drew Please, get a bottle brush in me before I hit that stage.

1:29:31 Adam All right, the Jacuzzi can do it, the wipes can do it.

1:29:33 Drew You want antibiotics or medication, anything like that?

1:29:35 Caller No, not, and I never had this. I've been dancing for two years.

1:29:39 Drew Yeah, we'll get it. Have you treated it thoroughly?

1:29:41 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:29:42 Drew How have you treated it?

1:29:44 Caller With like the over-the-counter cream.

1:29:47 Adam You're going totally...

1:29:47 Caller I went to the doctor the first time because I had no idea what it was because I'd never had anything like this before.

1:29:52 Adam Totally nude?

1:29:54 Caller Yeah.

1:29:55 Adam Yeah. All right, baby. What's up with you?

1:29:57 Caller Well, how so?

1:29:58 Adam All right. Hey, you know, listen, topless is one thing. Totally nude. The chicks will start getting a little nuts at that point.

1:30:05 Caller No, no. I'm a good girl.

1:30:07 Adam All right, baby. All right, Angel, I got to do the lightning round, you know?

1:30:12 Caller Okay.

1:30:13 Adam So I got to make some time.

1:30:14 Drew Don't get back to the doctor. There are other things that can predispose to it. There are things like diabetes and thyroid conditions. Any kind of medical problems can predispose to it. And once these things happen, they tend to keep happening. Sometimes you need to take something like Diflucan, which is a pill. You just take one pill. It eradicates the yeast.

1:30:29 Adam You know what I'd do? I'd get them baby wipes. You know how they have the dispensers sort of pop one off at a time? I'd stuff like 10 of them up me and just let the guys pull them out.

1:30:39 Drew You'd be like a tissue dispenser yourself.

1:30:41 Caller Yeah.

1:30:42 Adam Nice. All right, we'll be back to the lightning round after this.

1:30:45 Caller Let's have some more fun. Okay, let's do it. Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:30:53 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:31:34 Adam Yeah, my love, Ace Rockolla is my good partner, my sidekick, my drudgy sidekick. I'm the Lone Raider, that is my tanto. I am Laurel, he is Hardy. I am Bob, he is Hope.

1:31:47 Caller His name, Dr. Drew, everybody.

1:31:50 Adam He's the doctor's with the moccasins. All right, we're gonna hop back on the road today. Smack dab in the middle of the lightning round. Let's just check the time over here. It's 1146 and 30 seconds straight up. That is 13 minutes 30 seconds away from the time of the hour.

1:32:06 Caller Oh, witching hour.

1:32:08 Adam Let's hop back on the road. Drew, excuse me. Yeah, Leah, Leah, 21 years old. What's up with that, mama?

1:32:18 Caller Yeah, I was curious.

1:32:19 Adam Hold on. Let me check the time. 1146 and 50 seconds. That's 13 minutes.

1:32:36 Caller So, I was curious in having sex if...

1:32:39 Caller Sex, huh?

1:32:40 Caller Yeah.

1:32:42 Caller Okay, so if I was to go ahead and have herpes with sex, go ahead and simulate an outbreak.

1:32:47 Drew If you had herpes with sex?

1:32:48 Caller Well, I have herpes. When I go ahead and have sex...

1:32:52 Drew With a new partner?

1:32:53 Caller Yeah, I've had a couple different partners, but they've all known about the situation.

1:32:58 Adam That's how you got to have herpes, baby. But let me tell you, I wouldn't cut you off my list. No, sorry.

1:33:03 Drew It's different in different people. Sometimes it can be stimulated every time you have sex, sometimes never. But new partners do tend to stimulate it more likely.

1:33:10 Caller And why is that?

1:33:11 Drew Nobody knows. It's probably because the virus is passing and the other person is about to get an outbreak and maybe it re-infects you, something like that. I don't know if anybody knows for sure.

1:33:21 Adam I mean, why new blood can crank up the happy stuff? No shame.

1:33:27 Caller Well, let me check the time.

1:33:29 Adam It's 1148 straight up, 12 minutes away from the top of the hour. You're smack dab in the middle of the light around. I'm Ace Rockolla. That is my good friend. I'm going to hop back on the phone and we'll talk to your pick. Bob. He's only two years old. Hey, Bob. Hey, how's it going? Yeah. Let me check the time real quick. Actually, I just checked it for my own personal purposes. I'm not going to share with you guys. What's up there, Bob?

1:34:00 One guy, Leon, he needs to shut his damn mouth.

1:34:02 Adam That's right, Bob.

1:34:03 I live a couple of blocks away from the radio station. I'll go down there and kick his ass myself.

1:34:07 Adam Thank you there, Bob. That's what I need. I need callers doing my bidding for me. What's up there, brother?

1:34:13 Well, what the problem is, me and my girlfriend, we've been together for about four years and we're sleeping together for about two. Now, whenever we do sleep together, she has a lot of pain because she says that I'm too big for her.

1:34:25 Adam Nice.

1:34:26 Caller Are you? That's what she says, I guess. It's really a problem.

1:34:32 Drew Is she the only one you ever slept with?

1:34:34 Caller No, not me, but I'm the only person she's ever been with.

1:34:38 Drew But how about you?

1:34:39 Caller No, I mean, people have told me, yeah, you're big, but that's never been a problem like this.

1:34:43 Caller I'm the big boy.

1:34:44 Adam Hey, Bobby, remember, it's lubrication and everything.

1:34:47 Caller Yeah, trust me, I've tried everything.

1:34:50 Drew She's been checked out to make sure there's not something structurally going on with her, her cyst, her necrosis.

1:34:54 Caller Well, she's in the medical field, so I mean, yes.

1:34:57 Drew Yeah, then she should know she should get checked out, right?

1:34:59 Caller Yeah.

1:35:00 Adam Yeah, let me tell you what she does in the medical field. She's the one who puts the cotton in the top of the vitamin packs.

1:35:11 Drew Wow.

1:35:11 Caller Hey, where the hell at?

1:35:13 Caller Where? You've been all my life, but play that one again.

1:35:17 Adam Put that on loop. I play that in my car on the way. Where did you get that from?

1:35:23 Caller Some caller.

1:35:25 Adam Okay, let me check time real fast. It's 11.49 in 55 seconds. That's 10 minutes and five seconds away from the top of the average.

1:35:36 Drew So for Bob, there may be some true anatomic disproportionate.

1:35:40 Adam That's right.

1:35:40 Drew Maybe lubrication, maybe just her.

1:35:42 Adam Let me tell you something, ladies. You use that penis excuse, penis too wide for me, hurt in the vagina, and there's a 20 in it for you every time you bring it up, each and every time. I don't care if I got to run down the ATM naked. You're getting yourself a nice, crisp deuce every time you bring that up in front of the Ace man. All right, better as hot back on the phones there. We'll talk to John.

1:36:04 Caller John?

1:36:05 Caller Yeah, how's it going, man?

1:36:06 Adam John, you're 15 years old. What's your problem there, bud?

1:36:08 Caller Yeah, well, in the past, I had a lot of psycho kind of girlfriends, you know? Yeah. I'm trying to figure out, you know, maybe it's something that I'm doing wrong, or I'm like, attracting them or something.

1:36:18 Adam Yeah, could be breathing. There's a lot of psychos out there, John.

1:36:21 Caller Yeah.

1:36:22 Adam John, you're 15 years old.

1:36:24 Caller Right.

1:36:25 Adam Yeah, don't worry about it, okay, brother? You'll get along just fine. You've got a long, long life ahead of you, unless you get wiped out in a car accident. It's 1151, straight up. It's nine minutes away from the top of the hour. I'm Ace Rockolla. It's a good partner over there, Dr. Drew. Did I tell you guys that the fabulous rock band Lit will be in here coming up? Also another rock band, the Stone Temple Pilots. STP, for those of you initial fans. They're gonna be in the air a little bit later this week. Right now, we're gonna hop back on the phones. Again, checking the time, 1151 in 25 seconds. 8 minutes and 35 seconds. We're waving the top of the hour straight up, lighting around.

1:37:02 Caller Timmy? Huh?

1:37:04 Adam Timmy, you're 19 years old. What's up, partner?

1:37:06 Caller Yeah.

1:37:08 Guest My question is, I masturbate while I'm sleeping.

1:37:13 Adam Good. It's a time saver. Wish I could figure that out. I can't hold down a job. I'm lagging off too much. But you take care of it while you're sleeping. Nice.

1:37:22 Caller Yeah.

1:37:23 Guest But I have a lot of roommates and my girlfriend's pregnant and they come in to check on her. And it would be kind of embarrassing for them to see me do this while I was sleeping.

1:37:32 Caller And I was wondering if there was any way I could stop it.

1:37:35 Drew This is another bogus.

1:37:36 Caller Yeah.

1:37:36 Adam I don't believe you either. Sorry there, Timmy.

1:37:39 Caller You don't believe me?

1:37:40 Adam No.

1:37:40 Guest I'm straight up telling the whole thing.

1:37:42 Adam All right. Well, here's how you can stop it there, Timbo. Squeeze one off before you hit the hay. That'll take some of the wind out of your sail. You can dream about Vietnam like I do instead of sex. You know what I'm saying?

1:37:56 Drew Yeah. That memorable tour of duty you had. Ace, you rarely talk about that. I'm surprised you brought it up.

1:38:01 Adam Enjoy. Enjoy. Let's check the times. 11.52 in 35 seconds. That's 7 minutes and 25 seconds away from the top of the hour.

1:38:10 Drew I am a drinker.

1:38:11 Adam Midnight, the witching hour.

1:38:12 Drew Ace is showing who he is.

1:38:16 Adam That's right. I'm laying my cards on the table. Let me tell you what I got on the table. Four aces, brother. Let's go.

1:38:23 Caller Ace Rockolla.

1:38:24 Drew Did you do anything you were ashamed of when you were in Vietnam?

1:38:27 Adam What's that?

1:38:27 Drew Did you do anything you were ashamed of when you were in Vietnam?

1:38:29 Adam Yeah. I did take out a few villages. I think in my third tour, I was on a minesweeper in the Mekong Delta. I smoked out of a human skull, but I don't want to talk about it. We got a hot pack on the phones. We'll take one more call. Druski, you want to pick one up there? Yeah. Let's speak to Noah. Noah, you're 17 years old. What's up there, brother?

1:38:51 Drew Noah's gone. No, there is Noah.

1:38:54 Adam Noah fell asleep right in the middle of the lightning round. Hold on a second there. Joseph.

1:39:00 Caller Yeah.

1:39:01 Adam Joseph, you're 22 years old.

1:39:02 Caller That's right.

1:39:03 Adam You constantly lie to people.

1:39:05 Caller All the time.

1:39:05 Adam How do we know you're telling the truth about lying, brother?

1:39:08 Caller I knew you were going to say something like that.

1:39:09 Adam Well, that's the kind of joke Ace Rockolla would make, so it's apropos. Let me check the time real fast here. It's 11.53 in 40 seconds at 6 minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the hour, straight up. Joseph, maybe you're just insecure. Maybe you think that people aren't going to like you the way you are. I don't know.

1:39:24 Caller This isn't going on since I was a kid.

1:39:26 Caller I mean, it's just something like the people actually have it, like compulsive liars. I lie literally for every goddamn thing all the time.

1:39:33 Adam All right. Where should he go? Well, he would make one hell of a salesman. Hold on a second. Joseph, what do you do for a living? Maybe I can turn lemons into lemonade.

1:39:42 Caller No, I'm just a student, that's all.

1:39:44 Adam All right. All right. Drew, what's he do? Real quick now.

1:39:48 Drew You need to seek help. There are behavioral ways to help manage this.

1:39:52 Adam He's a student. Go to the-

1:39:53 Drew Student Health Services, absolutely.

1:39:55 Adam It's the big building shaped like a nut. Go on in. Ask Mr. Squirrel. There should be a guy in a life-size squirrel suit that's out front greeting this- All right. We're going to take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:40:18 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:40:49 Adam Well, maybe the night was more memorable than we had initially anticipated. Thanks for tuning in. I do appreciate it. We'll be back tomorrow night, again, lit in Stone Temple Pilots a little bit later this week, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:41:07 Drew He is a world-class dick.

1:41:10 Adam Well now.

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Sunday, May 7, 2000