Episode 1000754887336

0:54 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:03 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

1:10 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, the guest is the love that the two hosts find between each other.

1:28 Drew Once again.

1:29 Adam Lit will be in here tomorrow night though.

1:32 Drew That and the love you seem to experience with your listeners.

1:34 Adam That's right. I love each and every one of them. Just as long as they play nice. Lit are not only a good band but a good bunch of guys. So they'll be in here tomorrow night. And then Stone Temple Pilots who I've never met.

1:49 Drew Oh really?

1:49 Adam Nope. Nobody in that band.

1:52 Drew You're such a big star though. I understand that.

1:54 Adam I'm a huge star.

1:55 What do you mean big?

1:57 Adam Colossal.

1:57 Drew Colossal.

1:58 Adam Yeah. I'm a huge sea level star. Whatever. No. I've never met Stone Temple Pilots. So they'll be out here.

2:06 Drew Somebody came to me today and asked, what has Adam got to be miserable about? Why he sees so miserable all the time?

2:11 Adam That's the beauty of me. Let me tell you something. I have not let fame or fortune ruin my misery. I'm, no, you know, here's what I've done in my life. I've realized I'm not miserable. I'm just a little strung out right now because for instance.

2:31 Drew Because you have to work. For instance.

2:34 Adam The Corollas. Well, you know how some families are allergic to certain substances and just runs in the blood?

2:41 Drew Milk or, yeah.

2:42 Adam Yeah. They can be passed along from one generation to the next. For Corollas, it's work.

2:47 Drew Yeah. I'm aware of that. I've seen it.

2:49 Adam I mean, my dad was, it was and is a slacker for the most part. His father was a sort of no count musician who, you know, was barely employed, who let the, let mom do all the work and did some womanizing and was killed in a car crash on the way to a rare gig. You know, when my dad was like 16 or something like that. But I come from a long line of Italian male slackers. I should be sitting out front of some general store somewhere in Italy. Yeah. Like drunk by noon, like making cat calls and maybe playing like a little trumpet or a fiddle or something.

3:31 Drew And then bocce ball at night.

3:32 Adam Bocce ball at night and a good long four hour nap every day. Not because I'm tired from work, but because I'm loaded at 11.15 in the morning.

3:41 Drew But you were going to say you're about to working. You said.

3:44 Adam Oh, well like tomorrow for instance, we're shooting Hanukkah with Goldberg, the famous wrestler.

3:52 Drew Oh yeah.

3:53 Adam And he's going to kick some Santa ass by the way. But we got an eight o'clock call time tomorrow morning. And then tomorrow night is politically incorrect from the Playboy Mansion. That's for me. I think you're doing it another night. I hope you're doing it tomorrow night and I'm not doing it till Wednesday. But I'm pretty sure I'm doing it tomorrow night and you're doing it another night.

4:15 Drew I'm pretty sure it's next week. It better be next week or I was supposed to do it today.

4:24 Adam I'm pretty sure I'm doing it tomorrow.

4:26 Drew Are they doing it two weeks there? Because I got a choice of a Monday or a Tuesday.

4:32 Adam Oh, really?

4:33 Drew Yeah. And I chose a Monday.

4:36 Adam Oh. Oh, if it's not tomorrow, I'm going to be excited.

4:40 Drew One of us is in trouble. One of us is wrong.

4:42 Adam I hope it's me.

4:43 Drew Yeah.

4:44 Adam All right.

4:44 Drew I hope it is too.

4:46 Adam We got to call Howard during the break or something and try to figure that out. But the point is is now you got me excited, you son of a bitch. I could possibly be getting out of something. But the point is is the Playboy, politically incorrect, films at 8.30 tomorrow night. So I was pretty much leave the house at 7.45, go on through. I'll be home at 12.30.

5:08 That's 17 hours. No big deal.

5:11 Adam Feeling good. I'll get myself a nice six hours of miserable tormented sleep tonight. I like to torture myself because I don't sleep as well when I know that things are going off.

5:21 Drew If you really enjoyed your work, it would be like-

5:23 Adam That would be great, wouldn't it? Yeah. Nope. Mary, you're a 19. I do enjoy this show though. I really do.

5:31 Drew Yes, I do. Listen, the fact that we drag our butts in here, both was after long days and we are into it every night. Speaks for itself, I think. We were kind of into it. But you know what I mean?

5:41 Adam Listen, I'm not trying to get any sympathy or sound like some sort of prince, but I do feel compelled to say that I make plenty of money and should have quit this show a year and a half ago.

5:54 Drew But we're into this.

5:55 Adam We are. We certainly are. Mary? That's a damn lie and you know it. We're not into it every night, but two or three nights a week, we're into it. Let's be fair. Mary?

6:05 Yes?

6:06 Adam What's going on?

6:08 I went to the doctor today because yesterday I had, like me and my boyfriend were having sex and our condom broke. I went to go get an morning after pill, but he just gave me a birth control pill and told me to take four of them today for tomorrow.

6:22 Drew That's what the morning after pill is. The morning after pill is just a birth control pill.

6:28 Oh, it's okay then?

6:30 Drew That's what it is. You can get it prepackaged as something called Prevent or Plan B.

6:34 Yeah, that's right.

6:35 Drew But you can also take Ovaral, Low Ovaral, Alas, even the Triphasic pills. You can take all these different pills and you just take them. It's the very point I always make about this pill. Not only does it work like the usual birth control pill, it is the birth control pill.

6:49 Oh, I didn't see, because I was reading Glamour or whatever and it told me to call 1-800 or 1-800-8 not to...

6:56 Drew That's to get the prepackaged stuff. But it's a little less expensive sometimes if they've got the pill on hand just to give you the packages.

7:02 Yeah, you have to be kidding me, but it's kind of like my doctor just gets you in and out, so I didn't know if he wasn't really listening to me.

7:09 Adam Well, no.

7:09 Drew No, which one is it? Which pill do you get?

7:12 It's just the regular birth control pill package.

7:14 Drew What's the name of the package?

7:15 I don't know.

7:16 Drew Why don't you read what's on the package?

7:17 I don't even know. It's not even...

7:19 Adam Mary, but I'm glad you had the presence of mine to go get the morning after combination.

7:24 Drew Yeah. Yeah. God bless you.

7:25 Adam So just take that.

7:26 Drew You're one of our heroines.

7:28 Adam That's right.

7:28 Drew Really.

7:29 Adam All right.

7:30 Okay.

7:31 Drew God bless Glamour for have something of worth in those pages.

7:34 Adam Well, it was just an ad, I think, wasn't it? Mary?

7:37 There's like a little thing in it.

7:39 Adam It was a little blurb?

7:41 Yeah. I'm like, what happens if, I don't know, if you don't want to get pregnant, like what you can do.

7:46 Drew All right.

7:47 Adam Good.

7:47 Drew I'm softening my stance on those magazines.

7:52 Adam Right behind a 14-page article called Blow Your Way to the Top, 25 tips to work your way up the corporate ladder through sexual means. Listen, I saw a Vogue lying around somewhere the other day and I just looked at the front and it was 10 erogenous zones he doesn't know about or for him. I started reading it. I started like thumbing through it. It was like underneath the armpit, along the upper arm, he'll go insane. It's like he'll go insane because he thinks he's going to get a BJ in five minutes. He's not going insane because you're musing with his bicep.

8:32 Drew He's going insane because he's bored.

8:34 Adam He's going insane because he figures, listen, if this chick's licking my armpit, her mouth's going to be in my crotch in a matter of moments. He's not going to go insane. Believe me, I don't know who they test this crap out on by the way.

8:46 Drew Women.

8:48 Adam They must. Let me tell you, the erogenous zone for the man is the penis. That's it. The small circles you do around the inner thigh, how the behind the knee is an erogenous zone and all that. Nonsense. Here's what behind the knee is good for. If the penis has been burnt off somehow, if there's some kind of oil pipe explodes and the guy's genitalia is completely destroyed and beyond repair, then start licking the inside of his knee.

9:20 Drew Got a sympathy.

9:22 Adam Not because you're going to get anything from the guy. Listen, at that point, you're cutting your losses, you're taking what you can get. But here's what I want to say as a guy, and I think I speak for all men. If you're not going to do anything except for lick the back side of the knee, then go ahead and lick the back side of the knee. Fine, I'll take the effort. But if you're working your way up to a BJ or some intercourse, get right to it. Do you know what I mean?

9:49 Drew Yeah. You're right. Pornos aren't filled with images from man.

9:52 Adam Licking the inside of a knee. It's like saying, men love hamburgers, right? Yes. Well, what if we just took it and gave them half a pickle, and then a little crumble of ground beef, and then we spread a little dollop of mayo on their finger? They could consume the entire burger just sort of one little smear at a time. No. We want the whole goddamn thing, and we don't need five things going into it. We want one big fat thing we can put our mouth into. These are ridiculous articles. I'd love the guy who'd inspired this article. I'd love to talk to this guy. Ten erogenous, ten.

10:29 Drew Don't you want to call him down here to kick his ass?

10:31 Adam I really do. That's my new policy now. Anyone would disagree with it.

10:34 Drew But it's such a waste of time and energy.

10:36 Adam Oh, and it gets them going in all these different directions.

10:39 Drew Maybe that's where the glass ceiling is sort of created. Women are held down by this crap.

10:44 Adam Tyler?

10:46 Hey, how you doing?

10:46 Adam You're 15. What's up?

10:48 Yeah, Dr. Drew, I just want to congratulate you on drdrew.com.

10:51 Drew Thanks, Tyler.

10:52 It's helped me out a lot of situations.

10:54 Drew Oh, that's awesome. That is awesome.

10:56 Your free condoms too has helped me out a lot of sticky situations.

10:59 Drew Whatever.

11:00 Whatever you mean by that. I called you guys about a month ago. I'm the stalker guy, if you remember me. The 15-year-old was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend.

11:09 Yeah.

11:10 Adam Sounding vaguely familiar.

11:12 Go ahead.

11:12 Yeah. Well, anyway, and you guys told me that it's nothing really to worry about. All is really done in the last month, it's gotten really, really worse.

11:19 Drew Well, maybe now it's something to worry about. What's happening?

11:23 A couple of nights ago, I was digging through a trash.

11:25 Drew What were we looking for?

11:26 I don't know.

11:27 Adam I was hungry. Yeah, all right.

11:29 I don't know what I was looking for, and it really is...

11:32 Adam Well, wait a minute, how old is she?

11:34 She is 14 now.

11:35 Adam She doesn't have trash at 14. Her parents have trash.

11:39 Yeah, that's kind of like what I discovered last night.

11:41 Drew You're just trying to get a piece of her.

11:44 Yeah.

11:44 Adam I know, but how do you know which lean cuisine she ate? You know what I mean?

11:50 Drew What... How long were you with this woman?

11:52 I never dated her.

11:53 Adam Oh, yeah.

11:54 That's healthy.

11:56 Adam What is your ultimate goal? Would it be like a tampon or maxi pad? When you were going through the garbage, do you think you're going to find a piece of her ass or something in there? I mean, what are you going to find in there? You know what I mean?

12:09 I really couldn't tell you because I didn't know what I was looking for.

12:12 Adam What did you come up with?

12:14 I came up with some old schoolwork of hers.

12:16 Adam Nice. Well, that's a keeper.

12:18 That's about it.

12:19 Adam Okay.

12:21 Anyway, my friends are even starting to be creeped out from me now. And I'm starting to get into that violent capacity. I've had a couple dreams and nightmares and stuff about doing that kind of stuff.

12:32 Adam Now, why is it you're so obsessed with somebody you've never had a relationship with?

12:37 Probably because I never had a relationship with it. That's probably why.

12:40 Adam Yeah, but then what about the rest of the women on the planet you've never had a relationship with?

12:44 Well, I've never, I don't know. If I haven't really wanted them, then...

12:48 Adam I see. All right. And did you ever ask her out?

12:51 Many times.

12:52 Adam Oh, many times. She said no?

12:55 She didn't say no, but she didn't say yes. She was kind of like, well, we'll see.

12:58 Drew Does she know that she's being stalked?

13:00 Yeah, she does now. Because she heard me last time on the show.

13:03 Adam Oh, she did?

13:04 Oh, yeah, she did because she came up to me the next day at school and was pretty pissed.

13:08 Adam Wow.

13:09 And she's probably listening right now.

13:11 Adam All right. Well, you sound... I'd like to say hi to her too, if you don't mind.

13:16 Go ahead.

13:18 Adam Hey, Tyler.

13:18 Yeah, what's up?

13:20 Adam You're starting to give me the creeps a little bit.

13:23 Well, I'm giving everyone the creeps.

13:24 Adam All right. Well, you think you could get yourself a little help before you do something stupid?

13:29 Well, where would I go to get that help?

13:33 Adam That's a good question.

13:35 Where should I turn to?

13:36 Adam Drew, what do you think?

13:37 Drew I'm getting a real feel from this.

13:39 Adam I'm starting to get something weird. I'm starting to get, maybe just last night or something, but I'm starting to get like a non-

13:47 Drew There's no, it's too matter of fact. There's no, no. I don't know. Let's assume it's real, which it may not be.

13:54 Adam No, no, you're right. I wasn't getting a true creepiness off him. I was getting a more creepy like he's making this up was the kind of creepiness I was getting. But on the other hand, he said she heard him on the radio.

14:07 Drew Maybe part of his story. I don't know. Be that as may, let's assume it's true. He needs, this may evolve into psychotic docking him. This is the real thing.

14:16 Adam Well, listen, he's going through garbage.

14:19 Drew If what he's describing is what he's doing, and there is no alternative for him. There's two alternatives, police intervention or medical intervention.

14:30 Adam Well, what do you mean medical intervention?

14:31 Drew That he seek help for his mental health.

14:34 Adam All right. Where does he go for that?

14:35 Drew He could try to start with his doctor. I'm sure the school system has got mental health services there, counseling services.

14:41 Adam Really?

14:41 Drew He probably will need medication. But if he doesn't, he's going to have something with the law next. He has two choices.

14:48 Adam All right. So go to your school and get some counseling. You know what? I think schools are starting to become hip to this kind of stuff.

14:56 Oh, yes.

14:58 Adam When I went to school-

14:59 Drew They were not there talking about this was. They would never heard of this.

15:02 Adam Well, no. Here's what counselors did. They went, Listen, this guy is going to Stanford. You might want to join the military.

15:10 Drew Yeah.

15:11 Adam That's what a counselor was for. He helped you with your schedule. You never really, you didn't talk to him about anything, did you?

15:16 Drew But the kind of stocking that young males were doing really wasn't even known. I mean, adolescence had just been sort of invented a few years before.

15:22 Adam Well, I'm sure there are plenty of screw balls out there.

15:24 Drew Yeah, but they didn't tell anybody.

15:25 Adam Your counselor was more of a warden than he was a counselor. Right. You were trying to avoid the guy, get you into trouble. Andrew?

15:31 Yeah.

15:32 Adam You're 24.

15:33 Caller How you doing?

15:34 Adam And by the way, if my counselor, Mr. Tomey, is listening, kiss my ass. Ceramics major, please.

15:45 Caller For about a year and a half or so, I had a eating disorder. I would, a combination of bulimia, and I would just straight starve myself. I started eating again, and I went to, I'm seeing a psychiatrist. I'm not medicated because I pretty much refused to be. But my body, I gained a whole bunch of weight began what she said to me was because the body had been starved so bad now that it's storing, it's now storing food. My question is, when will it kind of go back to normal? When will my metabolism go back to normal?

16:25 Drew Well, there's two things that happens. We're using laxatives and that sort of thing also.

16:30 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

16:31 Adam What are you up to now?

16:33 Caller I'm up to 265. I was over 300 pounds. I'm 6'2.

16:40 Adam Yeah. All right.

16:41 Drew Well, a lot of what the weight is right now is swelling. You notice your legs are swollen?

16:45 Adam Yeah.

16:46 Drew Yeah. And that's a lot of the weight. So it's not so much that you're metabolically sort of so used to trying to cling to any calories that you serve up to your body. It's also that your fluid, your kidneys been not damaged, but stressed by all this. And now it just hangs on to fluid like crazy. And that takes one to three months to get better. So there's that fluid part. As far as the behavior of eating and the way in which your body deals with food stuff, again, that's about a three to six month deal to settle down. You've got to be followed by a dietician. That's part of treatment for your eating disorder. So you have real structured plants. You don't stay in those fluctuations of intake.

17:23 Caller Yeah.

17:23 Drew Because that will perpetuate all this stuff.

17:25 Caller Uh, yeah, just reading a crazy letter I got from some crazy...

17:30 Drew Is this a stalker for you?

17:32 Caller Yeah.

17:33 Drew Did you meet her at Havasu?

17:34 Adam Yeah, I did.

17:35 Drew Yeah, and?

17:36 Caller Yeah, well, I hung out.

17:38 Drew Oh.

17:42 Caller She's...

17:42 Adam Huh?

17:43 Drew What and?

17:44 She seemed to have had a good time.

17:45 Drew Oh, let me see this.

17:46 Adam Yeah, read it. I didn't do anything with her. So you can read it out loud if you like. I don't care. When I was in Lake Havasu, like, what was I there, like three weeks ago? Yeah. We had a little party and this blonde girl...

18:03 Drew You're someone who I've been wanting to meet for a very long time.

18:06 Caller Yeah.

18:07 Drew Okay.

18:08 Adam There's like a six foot one blonde 22 year old girl was sort of a... She had a little stalker in her, but she was friendly enough. And...

18:22 Drew Sobfest? Oh, I get it. Would you apologize for my sobfest at the end of the evening?

18:27 Adam I was sleeping during that. Apparently, she was crying on the bus.

18:33 Drew Why?

18:34 Adam Well, because I was sleeping. And you know what it's like when I leave at the end of the night for you?

18:41 Drew I know. Oh, my God. I just want to thank you for a night that I'll remember for the rest of my life.

18:46 Adam Yeah.

18:46 What happened?

18:48 Adam All right. So here's a story.

18:50 What the hell?

18:52 Adam Okay. Hold on.

18:52 Drew You're not going to tell me anyway.

18:54 Adam Well, I know. I'll tell you everything you want to know. I think you've tried to get a hold of me. I can be kind of hard to reach sometimes.

19:01 Drew What happened? What happened?

19:02 Adam Come on.

19:02 Drew Come on.

19:03 Adam First off, I'm going to kill all the writers on the man show because I think you've tried to get a hold of me means they've been calling her.

19:10 Drew Oh.

19:12 Adam You know what I'm saying?

19:12 Drew Either that or they wrote this letter.

19:14 Adam No. No. This is her. They just, well, we got to look into that. No. This is her. They've just been calling. I know they got her phone number. All right. Here's what happened. I went to Lake Havasu three weeks ago. We had a party the last night we were there. Basically, as luck would have it, 35 guys, 35 19-year-old guys, they all looked like Jeremy McGrath showed up and four chicks. She was one of the women. She just basically was like a deer in the headlights every time I was talking to her. It was weird. It was like out of a movie.

19:57 Drew She was so freaked out about meeting you?

19:59 Adam Yeah. She was like, oh my God. Yeah. I usually don't get those kinds of fans. I get the one show you do is decent. The other one sucks.

20:09 Drew You're the funny guy.

20:11 Adam Yeah. You're not as ugly as you are on TV.

20:14 Drew You're taller.

20:16 Adam Yeah. I get the lukewarm fans. But she was really a fan. She just sat next to me the entire night just with her eyes wide open just staring at me the whole time. I was just being nice to her and talking to her, but she was like 6'1 and blonde and good looking, but I just didn't want to do anything with her because I thought she'd go nuts or something. I mean, I know that sounds weird, but what I mean is if I had kissed her, then she would have moved out to California. I really think so. So I did nothing. So 4 AM I decided to call the night. So I went into my room to go to bed and then at like 4.15, 4.30, the writers came and woke me up and said, she's crying out in the lobby of the hotel, you got to come talk to her. She's really upset, you know. So I got up and went out and talked to her for a couple of minutes and then I like gave her a hug and said, I'm going back to bed. And then I went back to bed and she went on to our bus. We had this like rock and roll tour bus and with some of the riders she ended up sleeping on the bus on one of the bunks and was up crying all night about me or something and then left in the morning before I got up. What do you see in Adam?

21:38 Drew That's for sure.

21:39 Adam I have no idea.

21:40 Drew That is sort of scary behavior.

21:41 Adam Well she's real cute and seemed nice and everything, you know. Now listen, you know, Drew, I've seen your Stalker, just at 10 miles of bad road, 285 pounds. This is a, this one.

21:54 Drew Stalkers go, yeah, okay.

21:55 Adam Yeah, this is, is Stalkers go? This one's a six foot and all blonde.

21:59 Caller Yeah.

22:00 By the way, your manager's called.

22:03 Drew's in trouble.

22:04 Adam Oh really?

22:05 Caller Oh!

22:07 Drew It was today? I'm just kidding.

22:11 Ha, you're both off the hook actually, it's next week.

22:13 Adam Oh is it? Oh yeah. What is, what have you become?

22:21 Drew You never freak me out like that again. I've never been late or missed anything in my life.

22:25 Adam Oh my God, we're just talking about politically incorrect. I thought I was going to Playboy Mansion and here's, you know it's time to kill yourself when the six one blonde 22 year old Stalker is really a thorn in your side. And yes, you don't have to go to Playboy Mansion tomorrow night. Yeah, go home, I can masturbate, need a TV dinner. Yeah.

22:45 Drew You're gay.

22:46 Adam All right. All right, Drew, what do you say we celebrate by eating some microwave popcorn?

22:51 Drew And a little sword fight.

22:52 Adam Yeah, with pee. All right, we'll take a break. When we come back we'll speak to Rachel. I mean, I can live again.

23:00 Drew Release.

23:01 Adam Release. Rachel, 18, heard that alcohol reduces the effectiveness of birth control. We'll talk to her about that after that. Yeah, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla, the newly rejuvenated, I should say, Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, the off the hook Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, and Lit in here tomorrow night, Stone Temple Pilots in here Wednesday night, and Busy Phillips in here Thursday night. So plenty going on, except for tonight, of course. Rachel.

24:14 Yeah.

24:14 Adam You're 18.

24:15 Caller What's up?

24:16 I was just wondering if alcohol reduces the effect of birth control pills and what does?

24:22 Drew What does?

24:23 Like what reduces the effect of them?

24:25 Drew Antibiotics typically do. Almost any medication can.

24:29 Caller What is alcohol?

24:30 Drew If you used it heavily, it could, but I don't know that it's ever been measured, how much it really affects. You would sure expect that if it significantly lowered its effectiveness, you'd see a lot more problems on college campuses and that sort of thing.

24:43 I also, one of my professors said that St. John's wort does also.

24:47 Drew Does what? Yeah, that makes sense, yep.

24:51 Okay, so is that like an antidepressant or something?

24:53 Drew That is an antidepressant and antidepressants can interfere with the pill.

24:57 It's only if you like take a lot of it though, right?

25:00 Drew The St. John's wort?

25:02 Well, any type of like alcohol or...

25:04 Drew Alcohol probably, but other pharmacological agents, no, you don't have to take a lot.

25:09 Adam Hey Rachel, you're 18 baby.

25:12 Caller Yeah.

25:12 Adam You take the pill, you know, smoke a little weed, have a beer in the park once in a while. All right, baby.

25:18 Caller Okay.

25:19 Adam Take it easy with everything else.

25:20 Caller All right.

25:21 Adam You're 18.

25:22 Caller Yeah.

25:23 Caller Yeah. Okay.

25:24 Drew You're not taking St. John's wort, are you?

25:25 Caller No.

25:26 Drew Yeah.

25:26 Caller Okay. All right.

25:28 Caller All right.

25:29 Adam You got professors at junior college?

25:31 Caller What? No, I don't go to junior college.

25:33 Adam Oh, you're out of school?

25:34 Caller Yeah.

25:35 Caller Oh.

25:37 Adam Well, you're going to regular college?

25:39 Caller Yeah.

25:39 Adam Which one?

25:40 Caller University of Michigan.

25:41 Adam All righty.

25:44 Caller Goat.

25:45 Drew Wolverines? No, Michigan State?

25:47 Adam Wait a minute. Yeah, that is Wolverines.

25:48 Drew Yeah.

25:49 Adam Yeah. All right, baby.

25:50 Drew All right.

25:50 Caller Take care.

25:50 Drew Bye.

25:51 Caller Yeah.

25:52 Drew We drove through there. We had dinner next to that train station.

25:56 Caller Yeah.

25:57 Adam Where were we?

25:59 Drew We were at Eastern Michigan University.

26:00 Adam Yeah. That was a good time. It was a good dinner. I remember it was a nice. Oh, wait, that train station? Now, I'm thinking of something else.

26:09 Caller Yeah.

26:10 Drew The train went by and it was like this far away from the-

26:12 Caller Yeah.

26:12 Adam It was good times anyway. Tanya?

26:15 Caller Yeah.

26:16 Adam Year 28?

26:17 Caller Yeah.

26:17 Adam What's up?

26:20 Caller I don't need any medical advice.

26:22 I just have the situation. Okay?

26:25 Drew All right. Go.

26:26 Kind of a weird situation.

26:27 Caller Okay.

26:28 Well, me and my fiance were going out for about two years and he- long story. I'll make a long story short.

26:38 Caller He-

26:42 Drew way to make that story short, by the way.

26:44 He had an Internet problem, if you know what I mean.

26:48 Drew A porn Internet problem?

26:49 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

26:50 And he had gone home- he had gone home to visit his family and he had happened to go to a bar. And some guy was wanting to know if he wanted to make a video to make some money. So he came home and I had no idea what was going on. And he ended up making a video with my video camera of people in their rooms, things like having sex and things like that. And then going on the internet and having net meetings with other girls and things like that. And he made a video of himself doing things to himself and things like that. And we have a two-year-old daughter.

27:32 Adam Fantastic.

27:34 Caller And we're separated now. God bless you.

27:35 And he's acting like nothing happened. And he's acting like a real jerk. And I was just wondering what you guys thought, how I should handle this situation.

27:46 Adam Well, does your daughter spend time with him?

27:50 Caller Yes. How much time? About 40%, 40%.

27:55 Drew Unsupervised?

27:57 Caller Yeah.

27:59 And he's not the kind of person, okay, he's a very like normal person. He had a problem. You know, he had a problem, you know, he's not like a weirdo or anything like that.

28:09 Drew He had some other problem too?

28:11 No, I don't think so.

28:13 All right.

28:14 Drew What are you referring to?

28:16 Adam You keep calling it a problem.

28:18 Caller He had a...

28:18 And he went to counseling and things like that.

28:20 Drew What was the problem?

28:21 I don't think it's a child pornography problem.

28:25 Drew What was the problem he went to counseling for?

28:28 Caller I don't know.

28:30 Sexual...

28:31 Adult sexual.

28:32 Adam Okay.

28:32 Drew Compulsion and addiction.

28:34 Adam Yeah.

28:34 Drew Is he an addict in any other way?

28:36 No.

28:37 Adam Really?

28:38 He's perfectly normal in any other way. I had no idea.

28:41 Caller All right.

28:42 We were together for about two or three years.

28:44 Drew Here's one of my concerns.

28:45 Caller I had no idea.

28:45 Drew One of my concerns is that people who are sexual compulsive very frequently or not infrequently have been sexually abused in childhood. People who are sexually abused in childhood have about a 60 percent chance of abusing children.

28:59 Caller Yeah.

29:01 Adam I know that sounds, hold on, 60 sounds bad, but it still means there's a 40 percent chance he's not going to rape your daughter.

29:07 Caller Yeah. I don't think that he's like that.

29:09 Adam Okay.

29:10 Caller Then I wouldn't let him take my daughter if I thought he was like that.

29:14 Drew Here's the acid test.

29:15 Adam But hold on, Tana, your antenna ain't so good. Right. Because you had a kid with this guy, he was your fiance, and you just got done saying that for years, you had no idea what he was like.

29:31 Caller Well, it was for a few years, two years.

29:33 Adam Okay. Two years. You started a family with a sex addict.

29:39 Caller Yeah.

29:40 Adam So your gut feeling on guys, whether, hey, listen, if I don't think he was safe enough for my daughter, I wouldn't, you ain't a good yardstick to measure people by, are you?

29:52 Caller Oh, yes, actually I am.

29:53 Adam You are?

29:54 Caller Yeah.

29:54 Drew How'd you miss it so badly on this one?

29:56 Adam How'd two years slip by with the sex addict?

29:58 Caller Yeah.

29:58 Caller Well, yeah, but it doesn't mean if-

30:00 Drew Oh, except for that.

30:01 Caller Okay.

30:01 Drew Except for that. Oh, no, except for that.

30:02 Adam Yeah. Except for having a kid with the cray sex addict.

30:05 Drew Well, here is the acid. Here is the acid test.

30:11 Caller I'm not trying to defend it, but just because he's a sex addict doesn't mean he's going to abuse a child.

30:17 Drew Here is the acid test.

30:18 Adam But listen, what would you rather leave your guy off with, a sex addict or an arsonist? I'd go arsonist. Hey, wait in the car while I burn down this apartment building.

30:28 Caller I have gone through exactly what you guys are thinking and I seriously doubt it.

30:32 Adam All right.

30:32 Drew Go ahead, Drew. Well, the question is, Tana, the question is- Hey, listen, the question is, this is what will determine the probability of this guy being that kind of person is, were you sexually abused as a child?

30:44 Caller No.

30:45 Drew Okay.

30:45 Adam Everything was good with you?

30:47 Caller He wasn't either.

30:48 Caller All right.

30:49 Adam Well, you don't know that for sure.

30:51 Caller No, I don't know that for sure but I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with children.

30:55 Adam Okay.

30:55 Drew Is he manic depressive?

30:58 Caller No.

30:58 Adam All right. Listen, I-

30:59 Caller It came out of nowhere.

31:01 Adam I believe you. All right.

31:02 Caller All right.

31:02 Adam It doesn't really exist.

31:03 Caller Believe me, I'm a good mother and I'm a good sense of people. I know. Believe me, I would not-

31:09 Adam Listen, I don't think you're giving yourself credit when you say good sense. I'd say impeccable. You are engaged to a sex addict and a kid with him.

31:18 Caller No, I'm not anymore.

31:19 Adam Okay. There you go. One more argument for your impeccable taste.

31:22 Caller I just wanted to know what you guys- Okay.

31:24 Adam Well, we just told you.

31:25 Caller Believe me, I've gone through what all you guys are saying. Okay. I just wanted to know what I should do now.

31:30 Adam Well, listen, you trust this guy.

31:33 Caller Yeah.

31:33 Adam 100 percent. So what are you worried about? Give him the kid.

31:39 Caller No, I would never take away the dot, right? That's bad.

31:43 Adam Very good. All right. Just be more careful next time. That's all. He's in counseling. Fine.

31:49 Drew He needs to be supervised. If you have concerns, you got to appeal to the courts.

31:54 Adam Okay. But you don't have those.

31:55 Drew You don't have concerns though, so enjoy.

31:57 Adam All right. Okay. Bye-bye. She called because she seemed like she had concerns until we brought up her concerns, and then she didn't have the concerns anymore.

32:06 Drew Who wouldn't have concerns? This guy doing all this weird crap.

32:09 Adam Well, just because you bring a couple of strangers back to your house and videotape them having sex and-

32:14 Drew Put the set the camera up for yourself and send it out to your friends.

32:17 Adam Hold on. Set the camera up on yourself and your film doing things to yourself. Quote, things to yourself. That suggests that there may be some problem emotionally.

32:34 Drew By the way.

32:35 Adam Maybe some problem. And then the next sentence out of he videotaped himself doing things to himself is, I'm a pretty good judge of character. And listen everybody, here's my thing. It doesn't take 10 things to make you nuts in my book. One will do. You kill somebody, fine. You're nuts or you're dangerous. You know what I mean? It's just one thing. Videotaping yourself doing things to yourself, done. Something's up. The one thing, I don't care if everything else you do under the sun is perfect. And in accordance with the Bible, that one thing, deal breaker. That's enough. You videotape yourself doing things to yourself and put it out on the Internet. Fine. Good enough reason not to be alone with the little girl.

33:24 Drew Yes.

33:25 Adam Diana?

33:26 Caller Hi.

33:26 Adam You're 18.

33:27 Caller Hi.

33:28 Drew Hey.

33:28 Oh my gosh. You know, I don't mean to gush, but I really have to say that you guys are really incredible. And Dr. Drew, you deserve so much thanks for what you do in your website.

33:39 Drew Oh, thanks, Diana.

33:39 Caller It's just both of you guys are amazing.

33:41 And I really appreciate you guys a lot. I've been listening to you for years, so.

33:44 Drew Great.

33:45 Adam What do you see in Adam? What about what about my web website? I'm napping f off.com. Have you checked that one out?

33:55 No, but I've seen the man show.

33:57 Adam Okay, very good.

33:57 Caller Excellent.

33:58 Adam Thank you, baby.

33:59 Drew Excellent.

34:00 Adam You're not from Lake Havasu, are you?

34:01 Caller No, I'm from Seattle.

34:02 Drew I was just thinking that with Laura.

34:03 Adam All right. I'll tell you, it ain't bad. All right. So.

34:08 Drew Having a fan?

34:11 Adam I should protect or freeze her or something for the future. Annie, what's up there, Diana?

34:17 Basically, I've been struggling with anorexia for about four years now, and I don't remember being able to eat normally, and I wonder if people really get over this.

34:32 Drew Some people don't. For some people, it is a chronic condition. In fact, many.

34:38 Adam What does that mean? It just kills them eventually?

34:40 Drew No. It's something they have to deal with to a more or less degree of intensity over time. In other words, there may be periods of time when you don't think about it as you're eating normally, but stressors come on, your mood starts to have problems, and all of a sudden, here comes this thing again. It may go on for long periods of time, and you've got to constantly have ways of dealing with it to keep it in remission.

35:01 Caller Okay.

35:02 Adam Can you do that, Diana?

35:05 Drew Whether it's going to support groups, or meeting with a therapist, and or meeting with a dietician, having a lot of structure around really helps.

35:11 Caller Okay.

35:12 Drew All right. It's like dealing with any other chronic conditions sometimes. You just have blood pressure problem or something else. You'd have to be treated regularly for it.

35:21 Caller Okay.

35:22 Adam All right.

35:23 Drew Don't feel bad about having it. This disease is all about feeling bad about yourself, okay? So don't heap that on top of already feeling bad.

35:33 Okay.

35:34 Adam All right.

35:34 Caller Thanks a lot.

35:35 Adam All right. Don't sound like you're going to cry.

35:38 Caller I'm not going to cry. I'm not. Yeah.

35:40 Adam Then I'll feel bad about myself. No.

35:41 Caller I love you guys.

35:42 Adam There you go.

35:43 Yeah.

35:43 Adam All right, baby.

35:44 Bye.

35:45 Adam All right. Take care of yourself.

35:46 Okay.

35:46 Caller All right. Bye-bye.

35:52 Adam I would say that everybody has some food issue. Yeah. And it's just like one to ten. Yeah. Some people are ten. No one is below one. Most people are probably three and a half or four.

36:05 Drew Yeah.

36:06 Adam There's not a person I know doesn't think, ah, jeez, I shouldn't be eating that or I eat too much of that.

36:11 Drew Yeah. It feels the guilt and remorse and the shame.

36:14 Adam I should have done that. I'm not going to do that again.

36:16 Drew Or binge on chocolates and things.

36:18 Adam Yeah. I have like spaz out, you know.

36:20 Drew Or everybody vomits and takes a bunch of laxatives, right?

36:23 Adam Oh, I know I do.

36:24 Drew Oh, yeah, okay.

36:25 Adam All right. Thank you very much.

36:26 Drew No, but that's right. That people do have... It's like there's a threshold afterwards so it becomes a disorder.

36:33 Adam Right.

36:33 Drew It's like other forms of substance use too. And, you know, they're genetic.

36:38 Adam Yeah, there's other forms of substance abuse. There's people that have never had a drink or never done a line of coke. This is something that everyone does and that I think everybody has some issues about and at one time or another. And it's just a matter of where the threshold is. Jessica?

36:55 Caller Yeah.

36:56 Adam You're 15?

36:56 Caller Yeah.

36:57 Adam Having thoughts of hurting people?

36:58 Caller Yeah.

36:59 Adam All right. Why?

37:01 Caller I don't know. I've been obsessed with knives for like two years now.

37:06 Drew Oh boy.

37:07 Caller And like it's scaring my friends around me and stuff.

37:10 Adam What? Do you carry a knife?

37:12 Caller No, but I've tried to hurt somebody. I almost chased somebody with a knife once.

37:18 Adam You really? All right. Well, hold on a second.

37:21 Caller OK.

37:22 Adam Because we got to take a break. And then we're going to come back. And don't stab anybody. We're only going to be gone for like four minutes. OK? OK. All right. Then we'll tell you what you need to do. Uh-huh. All right. All right. Jessica's on hold over there. We'll take a little break. Drew, do you have to start gearing down, slamming the coffee mug, the headphones are off? You're backing out of here. You're out.

37:44 Drew I got to pee.

37:45 Adam Wow. Again? Yeah. You got a real problem.

37:47 Drew Yeah.

37:48 Adam All right. We'll be back after this.

37:50 Drew We're about to get funky.

37:52 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:56 Drew We'll be right back.

38:31 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Just let a world-class fart go in here about 30 seconds ago. But no smell, just all sound. Right, Drew?

38:42 Drew So far, yeah.

38:43 Adam That's right. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. When we left off, again, lit in here tomorrow night, and then Stone Temple Pilots in here Wednesday. When we left off, we were speaking to Jessica. Jessica's 15. She obsesses over knives a little bit.

39:01 Drew Sounds very aggressive and hurtful.

39:02 Adam Sounds a little dangerous. Jessica?

39:05 Caller Yeah?

39:06 Adam Where's your dad?

39:07 Caller In the living room.

39:08 Adam Okay. Dad? No. Still alive?

39:11 Caller Yes.

39:12 Adam Was anyone violent with you?

39:15 Caller I don't think so.

39:16 Adam No? Where do you think you get your violence?

39:18 Caller I don't know.

39:20 Drew Where did you learn that? Did you ever see people being violent?

39:23 Caller Not really.

39:24 Drew What do you mean, not really?

39:26 Caller Sometimes, my dad would be, kind of.

39:30 Adam Your dad would be violent?

39:31 Caller Yeah.

39:31 Drew That's a weird figure.

39:32 Adam With you or you and your mom?

39:34 Caller With my mom.

39:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Kind of the way it happens. All right. So what happened with the one time when you thought about stabbing somebody?

39:47 Caller There was some girl I didn't like and I don't know. She just caught on my nerves. So I got a knife and I was going to go chase her, but they stopped me.

39:54 Adam Who's they?

39:55 Caller My mom and my friend.

39:57 Caller Oh, that's good.

39:58 Adam All right. Well, you know, you know, it's a little problem, right?

40:02 Caller Yeah.

40:03 Adam It's not going to work out well, you and the knives thing. It's not a not a happy marriage.

40:07 Drew Don't get in the gangs.

40:08 Caller OK.

40:09 Drew That's not a good thing.

40:10 Adam Yeah. Be careful who you're hanging out with. And listen, you got to get a little counseling if this anger thing is going to be too much. Here's the deal. It's just it's not going to be good for you and it's not going to be good for whoever you stab. But ultimately, it's going to screw you up.

40:26 Drew It may feel good in the moment to sort of release all that anger in some way, but understand that you have to numb up a lot of other parts of yourself in order to carry that out. And those are the parts that are hurting so badly and are causing all this rage in the first place.

40:41 Adam You have friends, you have people you can talk to?

40:44 Caller Yeah, my friends, but they're kind of scared of me too.

40:47 Adam Yeah, well, what about, I mean, you know what you're doing, right?

40:51 Caller Yeah.

40:51 Adam What about just knowing what you're doing and not doing it?

40:55 Drew Finding other ways to act that out, maybe sports or something.

40:59 Adam Yeah, like full contact kickboxing or something like that.

41:02 Drew Yeah, sure.

41:04 Adam Listen, I'm telling you, I've been around boxers my whole life. They're amongst the mellower people you're ever going to want to meet.

41:12 Drew And they're killers.

41:13 Adam Yeah, they're killers, but they're so, listen, if you beat the crap out of one of those heavy bags for an hour a day, you're done. I mean, it's all out, whatever it is. You got kind of rung like a sponge, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, seriously, I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, but what about swinging a heavy bag in the garage or something and banging on that half hour a day?

41:36 Caller Sounds okay.

41:37 Adam Or just going for a five-mile run or something. I mean, you got to like blow off steam. It does help you, especially if you're angry.

41:46 Caller Okay.

41:47 Caller All right.

41:48 Adam Why don't you do that?

41:49 Caller Okay.

41:49 Adam Well, listen, if you want to stab the bag, fine.

41:53 Caller All right.

41:54 Caller So I should like to see help for it?

41:57 Drew Yeah.

41:57 Adam I would. Yeah. Why don't you talk to a counselor at school? Just tell her, just say you find yourself thinking angry thoughts sometimes and you don't like that.

42:06 Drew You don't know what to do about it.

42:08 Adam What's that?

42:09 Drew Why don't you go to school? Why not?

42:10 All right.

42:12 Caller I don't know.

42:13 Adam Tried to stab someone?

42:13 Drew You're 15. Why aren't you at school?

42:15 Caller Because I don't know. I didn't go to school a lot, so I don't go anymore.

42:20 Adam Right.

42:20 Drew Well, Jessica, that's pretty.

42:21 Adam Doesn't someone want you to go to school?

42:23 Caller Huh?

42:24 Adam Don't they ask you why you're not going to school?

42:27 Caller No.

42:28 Drew That is pretty heavy, Jessica. How are you going to function in the world without some ability to join society?

42:33 Adam You're not homeschooled, are you? No. What do your parents think about you not going to school?

42:40 Caller They don't say anything.

42:42 Caller Okay.

42:43 Adam Hey, Jessica. You're going to have to take care of yourself a little bit here. You're going to have to see about getting back in school.

42:50 Caller Yeah.

42:52 Adam Your parents may not care, unfortunately. And I know that's the source of some of your anger.

42:57 Drew That's amazing to me. I can't even imagine that.

43:03 Adam My parents are that way. Jessica?

43:05 Caller Yeah?

43:06 Adam You're going to have to take care of yourself. I'm sorry. But don't take care of yourself by stabbing somebody.

43:10 Caller Okay.

43:11 Adam Get yourself some help.

43:12 Caller Okay.

43:13 Adam Go to school and enroll. I will.

43:15 Drew In the days of yore, you'd say, well, join the military.

43:19 Adam Yeah, but she's 15.

43:20 Drew But you know what I mean? That's where that energy would go.

43:22 Adam Right.

43:22 Drew Yeah.

43:23 Adam Yeah. Kill some Germans or Japanese or Koreans or Vietnamese.

43:28 Drew Then come back and beat the crap out of your kids.

43:29 Adam North Vietnamese. Not all, not all Vietnamese. It's important to make that distinction. So the South Vietnamese, those were our allies. All right. Nicole?

43:41 Hi.

43:42 Adam Nicole, you're 19. What's up?

43:43 Caller Yeah. My boyfriend, I just lost my virginity, and he wants to have anal sex, but I heard that it's outlawed in Tucson, and I want to know if that's true.

43:51 Drew Tucson.

43:52 Adam Yeah. Federal Marshal's going to bust right out of your closet the second he enters you.

43:57 Caller I didn't get that whole concept. I was just like, I don't know if that's true or not.

44:01 Drew Arizona has some weird laws. That could be one.

44:03 Adam Well, listen, there's a lot of stuff on the books from a lot of years ago.

44:08 Drew Nobody's bothered just to take away.

44:10 Adam Yeah.

44:10 Drew By the way, would you like to be the state senator that stands up and goes, excuse me, I have a motion?

44:14 Adam Yeah. You'll be known as the guy who made anal rape legal.

44:19 Drew It's like an Alan McBeal series.

44:21 Adam But listen, there's a lot of stuff that says, when you're elected to city government, you get a pig. You know what I mean? It was put there with the best of intentions 140 years ago. It just seems a little dated now.

44:38 Drew But you had just lost your virginity?

44:40 Caller Yes.

44:41 Drew What's with this guy that he's...

44:42 Adam He's moving right ahead.

44:43 Drew You guys at U of A or something?

44:45 Caller Yeah.

44:45 Caller I don't know.

44:46 Caller I don't get why he wants to...

44:47 Caller I don't know.

44:49 Caller I don't want to do that.

44:50 Drew Then stay with that thought.

44:51 Caller Okay.

44:52 Adam All right. How long ago did you lose the virginity?

44:54 Caller Two months ago.

44:55 Adam Two months. And he's tired of the intercourse. You're so ready, huh?

44:59 Caller I guess.

45:00 Caller That's what I don't get. I don't get if I'm bad or what.

45:04 Adam I love when they do that. God bless you.

45:07 Caller Okay.

45:08 Drew When we were down there, did we get a bunch of questions about this? I don't remember.

45:10 Adam I don't remember either. But listen, are you at the University of Arizona?

45:14 Caller Yes.

45:15 Adam Oh, okay. Go Wildcats.

45:17 Caller Okay. Thank you.

45:18 Adam What does he do?

45:19 Caller He goes to the U2.

45:21 Adam Oh, he does?

45:21 Caller Yeah.

45:22 Adam Okay.

45:23 Caller And he's a freshman on the football team.

45:26 Adam All right. Well, that's where he gets his confidence. All right. Listen, slow down.

45:30 Caller Okay.

45:31 Adam All right.

45:32 Drew It's not that you aren't good. There's nothing to do with it.

45:35 Adam Okay.

45:36 Drew Nothing.

45:37 Caller Thank you.

45:37 Adam All right.

45:38 Caller Wait, Drew.

45:39 Drew Yeah.

45:40 Caller I think you're so attractive. I know all the girls' cons say Adam's cute, but I think you're really attractive.

45:48 Adam What nights would that be, Drew?

45:49 Caller Because Adam, you're really cute too.

45:51 Adam Yeah, but Drew's hot.

45:52 Caller Yeah, he really is.

45:53 Adam Yeah, he's hunky. There's no doubt about it. I admit that. Lindsay?

45:58 Caller Uh-huh.

45:59 Adam And he blows the mean funds too, I'll tell you that. Lindsay?

46:03 I'm here.

46:03 Adam Yeah, you're 18. What's up?

46:05 Caller Yeah. I just had a question about one of my friends at work had been discussing the option of her getting breast implants, and she was saying that insurance only covers breast reductions if you have back problems. And that's something that I've been experiencing the last year and a half about. And I did not know if it was true, and if it is possible to go about doing it. I am 18 if it's possible to go about doing it without family finding out until obviously they'd find out after, but the whole process of going through it.

46:38 Adam What size are you?

46:40 Caller About a 34D.

46:41 Adam Nice. Yeah. And what size are the rest of you?

46:44 Caller I'm about a 5'6, 7'8. Not that big, but...

46:49 Adam 5'6, 7'8?

46:50 Drew Size 5'6.

46:52 Adam I see. Where's the 7'8?

46:54 Drew 5'6, where's the 7'8? How about that?

46:56 Caller Yeah.

46:56 Adam Oh, okay.

46:57 Caller Listen.

47:01 Adam I ain't Helen Gurley Brown here, you know? You say 5'6, 7'8. I expect the next word to be Shemeel Shamozal. I don't know what the 5, 6, 7, 8 means. So, what do you want? How much do you weigh?

47:15 Drew We got to talk to her.

47:15 Adam Shashap. How much?

47:17 Caller About 130.

47:18 Adam All right. Hold on a second. All right?

47:20 Caller Okay.

47:21 Adam All right. We'll always get back to the boobs. We got to take a break though, right?

47:23 Caller Okay.

47:24 Caller All right. Hang tight.

47:25 Adam 34D. Now we're talking. We'll be back after this.

47:34 Drew Loveline will be right back.

48:16 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Perle. That is Dr. Drew over there.

48:22 Caller Oh, a little lower.

48:25 Adam Drew.

48:25 Drew That's your gas.

48:26 Adam Oh, is that? No, I swear my back is killing. What is it when you got the lower back pain, but it's quite a bit off the one side.

48:34 Drew Stand up and show me where.

48:35 Adam Not in the middle.

48:36 Drew Well, it's supposed to go on the side.

48:37 Adam Oh, it is? Good. Just like right there.

48:41 Drew That may be sacroiliitis.

48:44 Adam Oh, sack problems?

48:46 Caller Yeah.

48:47 Adam Really? That is where I've been paining myself all day, right there.

48:53 Caller Right here?

48:53 Adam Yeah, right in there.

48:54 Drew It could be sacroiliitis, but it also could be some preferred pain from your back.

48:57 Adam No, I just screwing around the house all day yesterday. All right. Where the hell are we? Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1. I just stood up and drew a potion on my back, by the way. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

49:11 Drew By the way, my neck is still screwed up from hitting a heavy bag with you in October.

49:15 Caller Oh, really?

49:15 Drew Is that pathetic? That is truly lame.

49:20 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

49:21 Adam Everyone gets sore doing that but me. But if I walk down a flight of stairs, I get sore. Lindsay? All right. So 18. Yeah. 34D.

49:32 Caller Nice rack.

49:35 Adam You say you're coming in at 130? You think it might be more around 140?

49:41 Caller No.

49:41 Adam All right. Five, six?

49:43 Caller Yeah. I'm a little bit shorter than that.

49:46 Caller Uh-huh.

49:48 Adam Because a size seven, eight is not petite, is it?

49:54 Caller Huh?

49:54 Adam All right. So you want to get a breast reduction? But you're only 18?

49:59 Caller Yes.

50:01 Adam Because your back is hurting?

50:02 Caller Yeah. And it's, it's just really uncomfortable. And it's, my back has been giving me a lot, a lot of problems lately.

50:11 Adam Right.

50:11 Drew Your low back?

50:12 Caller Um, shoulders more of. My shoulders just really slump, and it hurts more to kind of sit straight up.

50:19 Drew That's the deal with needing breast reduction for that kind of symptom. But why don't you want to tell your family?

50:26 Caller I don't know. I just don't, they know I've had back problems, but they have, they have never really related it to this.

50:32 Drew And what if you went in and had somebody go in with you to see the doctor, discuss with the doctor the probability that it's from your breast, and let the sort of discussion flow from there, let the doctor present the options?

50:44 Caller Yeah, I would probably feel more comfortable just taking a friend with me.

50:47 Drew But your parents, whose insurance are you going to be using?

50:51 Caller I would be under my parents, but I would wait until it's undermined. Through work I get insurance.

50:57 Drew Okay, well, you do as you please.

50:59 Adam That breaks my heart, but all right, Lindsey. All right.

51:03 Caller Just more out of, I think, embarrassment, I guess. There's really nothing there to be embarrassed about.

51:09 Adam Yeah. What's up with your parents?

51:12 Caller Nothing. I mean, we're really close, but I just would, this would be something kind of embarrassing.

51:18 Adam All right. But if you're really close, this is a legitimate procedure. Yeah. It's not like you're getting a glit ring or something. You need them to come in and sign off on it.

51:31 Caller All right, baby.

51:32 Adam Nice laugh.

51:33 Caller I can see why they-

51:34 Adam All right. Hey, Lindsey? You're good.

51:37 Caller Okay.

51:37 Adam Go in and get a consultation, but don't do anything too hasty.

51:40 Caller Okay.

51:41 Adam All right, baby.

51:42 Caller Thank you.

51:42 Adam Bye-bye. Send a picture. All right. Let's keep moving and talk to Cheryl. Cheryl's 14. Cheryl?

51:48 Caller Hi. Hey.

51:49 Caller Dad, could you leave the room?

51:54 Adam I feel like I'm going to get into trouble. Do you get that when someone's dad's in the room? It's like, oh boy, like I'm 15 and calling her from the tree house or something.

52:03 Caller Yeah.

52:05 Adam What's going on in the background there? Local news?

52:08 Caller Yeah.

52:08 Drew Don't have them turn that down.

52:09 Let her.

52:12 Drew The trailer is not that big.

52:13 Caller I got to turn it off. Hold on.

52:14 Adam Yeah. All right. Sorry about that. I understand some confusion there.

52:19 Caller All right. Hi.

52:20 Adam You know what's funny? When you travel a lot and you turn on the local news, I always look at it and go, ah, it's not the real news. It doesn't feel real. It feels like when you're watching a movie and there's a new segment in it, they got a guy that looks just like a newscaster, a chick of sort of unknown yet suspect nationality sitting there. I always wonder, it just always feels like I'm watching a movie. Therefore, I don't believe the news. Then they start talking about, they'll go, there was a shooting today at a Pensalken Mall. I'll go, I don't know where that is. It doesn't exist. All right, Cheryl, where are you calling from?

53:00 Drew I'm in my way of-

53:01 Caller Washington.

53:02 Adam Yeah, see?

53:03 Drew Whereabouts?

53:05 Caller Vancouver.

53:06 Drew Vancouver. Mental note, what's with the obedient dad? Hey dad, leave him. I'm talking on the phone.

53:12 Adam Yeah, did he scurry right out?

53:14 Caller Yeah.

53:15 Caller That's a good dad.

53:16 Adam What's up with you?

53:18 Caller Well, I'm clinical depressed. Dad, please leave.

53:24 Caller Come here and give me a hug.

53:26 Caller I could turn it off for you.

53:29 Drew That's more like it. By the way, if he leaves, he's going to be sitting right outside the door listening.

53:32 Adam Be nice to your dad, would you?

53:34 Caller Are you going to go upstairs?

53:36 Caller Bye. Okay.

53:38 Drew Are you going to go upstairs?

53:41 Adam Yeah.

53:41 Drew Wow, that's a timeout right there.

53:43 Adam You bust your ass all day, you put a roof over his head, you put food in his mouth, and he repays you with this kind of sass? Son of a bitch.

53:52 Caller Oh, goodness.

53:53 Drew Well, he's listening outside the door, so don't worry.

53:55 Adam All right.

53:55 Caller Okay. I'm a clinical depressant, and I take Paxil. I forgot to take it for a couple of days, and I've been getting really dizzy.

54:05 Drew Oh, he has awful Paxil withdrawal. Yeah. Dizziness is the experience people have. You've got to take that medicine.

54:12 Caller Yeah. It's really bothering me, and I can't walk.

54:16 Drew That's one of the reasons I don't like. Paxil is a good medication for certain things, but I've always prescribed with great concern because the withdrawal is very uncomfortable.

54:25 Adam Well, didn't your doctor tell you you couldn't get off the stuff like that?

54:28 Caller Yeah, but the thing is, it doesn't work. I'm not feeling any change. I'm always unhappy.

54:37 Drew Well, you made a different medication, but you've got to come off very slowly. At least go down to 10 milligrams first.

54:41 Caller All right. I'm on 40 right now.

54:44 Drew Then go down to 20. Stopping 40 is a pretty big drop.

54:47 Caller All right. And then my other question is I'm bisexual and there's my girlfriend that I was going out with for about two months. She killed herself. She's a slut and it was really sudden because her and me were really happy and I don't think I'm sexual anymore. I mean, I'm completely turned off to girls. I can't stand to be around them. And I don't even want to be friends with them barely anymore. And I don't know what to do.

55:21 Drew Well, it's understandable after having a huge loss like that, that you'd have a change in your feelings or ability to tolerate being around people to remind you of that girlfriend. But look, all we know here, Cheryl, is that you are very confused.

55:33 Caller Yeah.

55:33 Drew You don't know what you are. And you're 14. Why don't you just be nothing for a little while? Why don't you be a kid?

55:38 Caller But that's the whole thing. For a while I thought I was a lesbian and now I don't like either one.

55:44 Drew That's not a bad place for you right now.

55:46 Adam Yes. Just being that asexuality purgatory, that androgynous eunuch purgatory that Drew resides in for a few years.

55:59 Drew That's not so bad.

56:00 Adam Listen, you're 14, baby. Drew, what the hell were you doing at 14? You know what I mean? Were you making declarations about your sexual proclivity?

56:10 Drew Are you kidding?

56:12 Adam No. I was 14. I sat down, I took a good long look down the road and I thought, I'm not going to, the Puntang path is thousands of miles down this road. I do not run into the Puntang cross section for many, many, many miles. So I'll just going to look at the ground and walk. I mean, here's what I want to say and forgive me for sounding old fashioned, but we talk to people all night long, 13, 14, 15 years old. They want to know about threesomes, they want to know about anal sex, they're bisexual, they're gay. There's a lot of questions that need answering this week about their sexuality. Here's the thing, when you're 14, when you're 13, even 15, you're not supposed to have a sexuality. I mean, yeah, you beat off a little bit. Sure, you got a picture of 98 degrees up in your bedroom to look at and fantasize about at night if you're some young girl or whatever, but that's kind of it. Whether you're lesbian or not, we'll figure, you got years to figure, I mean, you might as well pick out a major for college while you're picking out a sexuality at 14. Just forget it. I know all you women think you're gonna be veterinarians, by the way, because you love horses so much. That's my favorite part about reading any bio on a model or playmate or anything like this. Wanted to be a vet. It's what stupid chicks do to make themselves seem smart. Studied to be a veterinarian. Let me translate, studied to be a veterinarian. Wanted to be a veterinarian in the seventh grade and attended the seventh grade. You know what I mean? Therefore, through sort of process of elimination because you have to complete the seventh grade in order to move on to become a veterinarian, was training to be a veterinarian in the seventh grade. The fact that she dropped out of tenth grade of high school is neither here nor there.

58:10 Drew So that drives me crazy about the ones that are being physicians too.

58:14 Adam Oh yeah.

58:14 Drew Was it Robin Givens? It drives Drew insane because she's a medical student, freshman chemistry, college, is it?

58:22 Adam Junior college freshman chemistry.

58:23 Drew No, no. It was Stanford, but it was chemistry.

58:25 Adam Drives Drew insane because every third supermodel we have on the TV show on her bio says was pre-med. Listen, I was pre-med before I started cleaning carpets.

58:37 Drew I was pre-astronaut.

58:38 Adam Yeah, I was pre-pirate, pre-med, and pre-professional football player. I've been pre-everything in my life. All right. Now I'm just a little premature. Let's talk to Elise. Elise?

58:52 I'm here.

58:53 Adam You're 21. What's up?

58:55 Caller I'm going to try and make this as simple as possible. A couple of years ago, I met my boyfriend, and we had a great relationship. I got HPV.

59:06 Adam And you got the warts?

59:08 Caller I didn't know I had it. At first, I went for an annual, and they said that I had pre-cancer cells.

59:14 Drew How do you know this came from him?

59:17 Caller Well, we don't know where it came from.

59:19 Drew So you might have got it from somebody else first?

59:21 Caller Right.

59:22 Drew So you may have given it to him?

59:24 Caller Probably did.

59:25 Drew OK.

59:25 Caller All right.

59:27 Caller Because I went to Planned Parenthood. I did the whole going and having cryo and all that. And then much later, they found out I had HPV. So they've treated it all. It's all pretty much under wraps. But in the whole process of that, a lot went wrong. We moved in together. Our house burned down to the ground in the middle of the night. We moved out of there. We lost everything. And he started drinking a lot. In the last year, it burned down May 1st of last year. And in the last year, he's probably put on 45 or 50 pounds. And he's working 70 hours a week. So he's extremely stressed out. Our sex life is out of all that stuff. Our sex life is the reason I'm calling. When we got together, we had an incredible sex life. Now, it's maybe once a week and he's...

1:00:23 Drew You're getting close to the national average there, by the way.

1:00:25 Caller Oh, God.

1:00:25 Adam You had three days of it.

1:00:27 Caller You're in there.

1:00:29 Caller But he's very sensitive about it because he's gotten... He's developed a problem with his stamina.

1:00:37 Adam I don't know why that's funny to me.

1:00:39 Caller Well, I put that to the weight problem. I don't know what it is, but I mean sex now lasts about a minute to a minute and a half. And he says he's really tender to the touch afterwards. Like, there's not going to be any, you know, after play or whatever. That's it.

1:00:56 Adam Well, now hold on there. You get a minute and a half a week. What are you complaining about?

1:01:01 Caller You're killing me. This is not funny.

1:01:03 Adam Wow. I wish I could do that minute thing. That'd be great. Yeah.

1:01:09 Drew All right. So it could be that we got, is he on a medication?

1:01:12 Caller No. And I've talked to him about getting counseling because it's been such a stressful past year.

1:01:20 Adam What's he do for a living?

1:01:22 Caller He manages an auto parts store.

1:01:26 Caller What's that mean? That's not bad. No. No.

1:01:29 Caller I mean, it's not stressful in the sense if you look at it, but he just, he stresses out about everything.

1:01:35 Yeah.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah. That's good. But you get 30% off alternators.

1:01:41 Drew So he's depressed and overwhelmed and alcoholic.

1:01:46 Caller I don't know whether to call him an alcoholic or not. We've fought, the only thing that we've ever fought about is his alcohol problem. So I would tend to call him one, but he says he's not, which is typical of an alcoholic.

1:01:55 Drew Alcoholism means a continued progressive relationship with alcohol in spite of consequence. And one of the areas of consequence would be relationship.

1:02:05 All right.

1:02:05 Drew So there you go.

1:02:06 Wow.

1:02:07 Adam Hey, Lise?

1:02:08 Caller Yeah.

1:02:08 Adam Yeah, you're 21. You seem like you've seen a lot in your 21 years.

1:02:12 Caller I feel pretty grown up.

1:02:13 Yeah. All right.

1:02:15 Caller I still feel like a kid and I don't want to be dealing with that.

1:02:17 Adam Well, listen, tell him you guys got to get, or he's got to get into some counseling, otherwise it's over.

1:02:22 Drew Got to go. Why don't you just, I'll tell you what. First of all, let me ask you this. Does his, he's got a mom or dad as an alcoholic?

1:02:28 Caller I don't believe so.

1:02:29 Drew Grandparents?

1:02:30 Caller I've never known them to be alcoholics, but he has relatives. All of his uncles and aunts have drinking.

1:02:34 Drew All right, there you go. Okay. So he's got the family history, he's got all the features of it. That's it, that's the disease. So what you need to do is go to Al-Anon. You go to Al-Anon, you start working the stabs, you get a sponsor, you go regularly. That has the highest probability, believe it or not, of actually getting his attention and causing him to make change. Because what will happen is you'll start growing in the Al-Anon recovery process. And it's actually quite enjoyable. And as a result of that, he will get scared. He'll see you sort of growing away from him and he will realize he has to change because you're already on your way out. Not leaving, but you're just sort of growing away. And believe me, alcoholics frequently, that gets them.

1:03:11 Adam All right. And listen, ladies, unfortunately, you are the foreman, you are the principals, you are the camp counselors of relationships. Because guys will keep packing on the weight, keep down in the booze. You'll go from a minute and a half of sex a week to a minute and a half of sex a month. He'll just keep spiraling down, he'll not want to talk about it, and he'll just keep pushing you out. And that's what guys do in relationships, especially young guys. You're the ones who have to create some consequences and bring them to bear because otherwise we won't do it. Guys inherently do not want to fix relationships or discuss them or go to counseling. It's just a gene that guys have and it's even stronger when you're 22, 23 years old.

1:03:58 Drew It's the same gene that makes them roam and what not. I gotta withdraw, I gotta be by myself, I'm irritable.

1:04:04 Adam Yeah, you start calling the guy out and now he stops talking to you. He starts avoiding you. But listen, girls, you gotta do that. Sorry, it's your job. We're just not that interested.

1:04:16 Drew I don't know.

1:04:16 Adam It's not that we're not interested, we just can't.

1:04:18 Drew We're lame, yeah.

1:04:19 Adam Well, listen, we no sooner can do that than we can breastfeed. There's just certain things you gotta do that you're better at than us and there's some noise in the night, we'll get up and go check it out. Other than that, you do everything. That's it, relationships. Justin?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah.

1:04:37 Adam You're 14.

1:04:38 Caller Yeah.

1:04:39 Adam What's up?

1:04:40 Caller I get really, really bad headaches ever since I was like eight years old. Where the light just makes this kill me and the sound. I see these like, it kind of sounds weird, but I see these like floating things.

1:04:55 Drew Yeah. Are they bright?

1:04:57 Caller Oh yeah. They're kind of clear and see-through.

1:04:59 Drew Right. That's a migraine. That's a true migraine you're talking about.

1:05:01 Caller A long snake and then sometimes I see like flickering spots.

1:05:06 Drew These are true migraines and there is excellent treatment out there for migraines.

1:05:10 Caller Well, I've never been to a doctor and nothing.

1:05:12 Drew Your mom had migraines?

1:05:13 Caller Yeah, my mom did until she moved out when I was eight.

1:05:16 Drew It tends to be family history. But, boy, Justin, I wish you could get some care because the migraine medicines are out there extremely effective.

1:05:25 Caller Yeah, see, I mean I take like four Advil every day before I go to school and then when I get home from school I usually like take two more and I've been doing that for like the last two years.

1:05:35 Drew That is not good for you.

1:05:37 Adam It isn't?

1:05:37 Drew No.

1:05:38 Why not?

1:05:39 Drew It's bad for his stomach, bad for his kidneys.

1:05:41 Adam Hey, where did your mom go when you were eight?

1:05:44 Caller Well, my dad like, well, she was an alcoholic and my dad like, she was an alcoholic for like four years before he, before my dad and her got divorced and then she moved to Lakeside, California and I still lived in Arizona, in Lake Havasu City as a matter of fact.

1:06:01 Adam Hey, I want to give a shout out to all my peeps over there. And are you there now?

1:06:07 Caller No, right now I'm in Lakeside.

1:06:09 Adam Right, you like to live around the water.

1:06:12 Drew You know where Castaway Drive is?

1:06:14 Caller Popper Canyon, jump off the, Yeah. This, ride on the boat every day.

1:06:18 Drew Just, you know where Castaway Drive is?

1:06:21 Caller Is it over by like Jamaica and all that?

1:06:25 Adam I'm guessing, I don't know. I don't know Havasu that well. I was just there once and I was drunk.

1:06:30 Caller Yeah, I lived there for like four years.

1:06:32 Adam All right, so anyway, you got to get some help you got to get some treatment.

1:06:36 Drew You're with your mom now, right?

1:06:38 Caller No, I live with my dad.

1:06:39 Adam All right, can you tell your dad, well I'm sure he knows about these migraines.

1:06:43 Drew Wait, wait, didn't you say your mom moved to Lakeside?

1:06:45 Caller Yeah.

1:06:45 Drew Didn't you say you're in Lakeside now?

1:06:47 Caller Yeah, but I stayed in Arizona and then she like moved to Texas and I moved from Arizona to Hawaii, then I moved from Hawaii to California.

1:06:55 Drew Well, that clarified things. Who are you with right now?

1:06:58 Caller My dad.

1:06:59 Adam Okay, can you tell your dad about this and ask to see a doctor?

1:07:04 Caller I have like mad times and he always, and like my step mom's like a nurse and she always tells me like we always are supposed to go and supposed to go and supposed to go but we never end up going.

1:07:15 Drew Boy, you gotta go.

1:07:17 Adam Tell her Dr. Drew said you gotta go.

1:07:19 Drew The thing about the real true migraines can actually restrict the blood supply of the brain and cause small strokes.

1:07:24 Adam Well.

1:07:25 Drew It needs to be treated.

1:07:26 Adam Small strokes is something I'm going to do when I get home tonight by the way.

1:07:29 Drew Small ones, yeah.

1:07:31 Adam Oh yes. I said small.

1:07:33 Drew Short.

1:07:34 Adam Yeah. You have to deal with this. There's all kinds of medications that are out there.

1:07:41 Drew The things that prevent them from coming on, the things that abort them once they start.

1:07:44 Adam Never been a better time to be alive and have migraines than now.

1:07:49 Drew Hey, some of these things like the Maxalt and the Zomeg, and these are good medicines.

1:07:54 Caller Yeah.

1:07:56 Adam Didn't one of our producers from Stone Stanley inject himself and stuff? He has migraines, right, David?

1:08:04 Drew I think he's using imitrax.

1:08:07 Adam No, he said he rubs coke on his forehead.

1:08:09 Drew Imitrax.

1:08:10 Adam Crystal?

1:08:11 Caller Yeah.

1:08:12 Adam You're 16?

1:08:13 Caller Yeah.

1:08:14 Drew What's up?

1:08:15 Caller Every time my best friend gets a boyfriend, I like him and I don't know if this is like normal or what and I don't want to do it but I can't help it.

1:08:25 Adam All right, well stop. You're not being a good friend. Find your own guy.

1:08:29 Caller Like I don't tell her that, I know, but it's like it makes me mad because I want to.

1:08:33 Adam Well, do you ever get together with these guys?

1:08:35 Caller No.

1:08:35 Adam All right.

1:08:36 Caller I never tell them. I just like, it's weird.

1:08:37 Caller Yeah.

1:08:38 Adam It's a typical thing.

1:08:39 Drew Yeah. Not so abnormal.

1:08:41 Caller So like nothing is wrong?

1:08:42 Drew No. If you act on it, something's wrong. But if you just have those sorts of feelings, it's all right.

1:08:46 Adam You know, it's interesting about life. When you're young, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, I remember even up until like early 20s, frequently being attracted to and being enamored with my friends' girlfriends. My friends were popular, good-looking guys who had a way with the ladies, even if they didn't have much money in their wallet or any, drive a nice car or anything, still managed to get some very beautiful girlfriends who were nice and everything. I always was attracted to them and I think everyone is this way in high school and stuff. Later on in life, you learn to hate your friends' partners. You really do. Now, I hate all my friends' wives. It's so sad and evil, but it's so true. It's not across the board. I'll leave a little hope out there for if any of them are listening. But my point is, no, they hate me too. The point is, is I used to love all my friends' girlfriends. Now I wish all their wives would go away somewhere and we could all live together. Drew, do you know what I'm talking about?

1:09:52 Drew Yeah.

1:09:52 Adam You know what I'm talking about. How does that happen?

1:09:56 Drew When you're 15, the only girls you're close enough to touch are the other guy's girlfriends. You know what I mean? There's always the vicinity with you. The same room with you. Right.

1:10:04 Adam It's the same reason your neighbor's magically your best friend. Right. Is it just an amazing coincidence that everyone's best friend moves in next door or across the street? Or is it that you don't have a car? Think about that. All right. We'll be back.

1:10:20 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:10:22 Okay, let's do it.

1:10:24 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:10:28 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:11:04 Adam Okay, it is Loveline. Adam Carolla is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Huh, lit in here tomorrow night, and Stone Temple Pilots in here on Wednesday night. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Maria.

1:11:23 Caller Maria?

1:11:24 Yeah.

1:11:24 Adam You're 27?

1:11:25 Caller What's up?

1:11:26 Well, I wanted to know what would happen if you missed taking two birth control pills. I missed Friday and Saturday.

1:11:35 Drew Double up for two days after that?

1:11:37 And yeah, that's what I, what is it, I went away so I thought I packed them. So when I came back on Sunday, I took both of them and then I woke up in the morning and I took another one. What would happen if you take two? Nothing, no side effects.

1:11:51 Drew You get nauseated sometimes, but you should take two on Sunday and then two on Monday. Is that what you did?

1:11:55 Yeah.

1:11:56 Drew All right. And then you need to use other means of birth control for the remainder of the month, because if you're not taking the pill away, where it was exactly meant to be taken, it doesn't necessarily work.

1:12:07 Adam Justin?

1:12:08 Caller Hey, how's it going? Good.

1:12:10 Adam You're 18.

1:12:11 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:12:11 Adam What's up?

1:12:13 Caller I've been at work and I work in the mall, and I work at a clothing store. And I started stealing stuff like three weeks ago. Oh boy. What did you steal? Just clothes and stuff because like my boss, I asked my boss for a raise and he wouldn't give me one, you know, you know, I kind of wanted to get back at him, you know, because I was working for a while.

1:12:36 Adam So what do you make in an hour?

1:12:39 Caller Five minimum wage, 575.

1:12:41 Adam Is that 575?

1:12:42 Caller Yeah, it's 575.

1:12:43 Adam All right.

1:12:45 Caller And, you know, like, then I started telling my friends, like, my best friend Fetty and them, and, like, then I tried to start pleasing them. But today I got caught. Like, I threw all the stuff in a trash bag, and then I threw it outside, you know, and my boss went outside, got the bag, brought it back in, and when I walked back in, you know, and all my coworkers and stuff were just standing there, like, you know, looking down at me and stuff, and, you know. And, like, this is, like, this has been, like, a chronic problem, you know, I started doing it every day, and it's like, damn.

1:13:23 Drew So he knows it's been you now?

1:13:26 Caller No, he doesn't know it was me, but he knew, he knows that I just did it today.

1:13:32 Drew But I understand why you, yeah, why did you bring that up?

1:13:36 Caller Because, like, because, like, it kind of was a habit to do it, like, every day that I was doing it.

1:13:43 Drew So you mean you're not going to be able to stop?

1:13:45 Caller No, no, no, no, I can stop.

1:13:46 Drew Why do you bring up, in the context of getting caught, why was your next thought, I've been doing this chronically?

1:13:53 Caller Like, because I have. Because I was, I was doing it.

1:13:56 Drew Oh boy.

1:13:56 Adam Let me talk to the land. Justin?

1:13:58 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:13:59 Adam Is this the first job you've stolen from?

1:14:01 Caller No.

1:14:02 Adam You've done it in other jobs?

1:14:04 Caller Yeah.

1:14:04 Adam Every job?

1:14:05 Caller Not everyone, but.

1:14:06 Adam Well, not when you worked at the douche factory for one summer. But I mean. But most jobs you steal from.

1:14:14 Drew The fertilizer farm.

1:14:15 Adam Yeah. Right. So you didn't have the the plastic sewn into the inside of the pant pockets. You could steal the douche. But you do have a problem stealing. And it's not just this job.

1:14:27 Caller Yeah.

1:14:28 Adam So you'd like to stop.

1:14:29 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:14:30 Adam All right. Do you think you're a klepto?

1:14:33 Caller I don't know.

1:14:34 Adam Do you just steal at work? Do you steal from your friends? No, no, no. You steal from other places.

1:14:38 Caller Not that bad. I mean, just like from work and stuff.

1:14:41 Drew He just hates the man.

1:14:42 Adam Well, stop stealing because it's gonna follow you around. And also furthermore though, get a job you like and that you're proud of and that you feel comfortable about and that you don't want to steal.

1:14:54 Caller Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam You understand?

1:14:56 Caller Yeah, I understand.

1:14:57 Drew There's something maybe more physical, something in a way you can, something, something where it's not.

1:15:02 Caller Yeah.

1:15:02 Adam Listen, it's not man's work to be putting price tags on sweaters. Do you know what I'm saying? You need to be out in the sun with a pickaxe. Know what I mean?

1:15:13 Drew A chain around your ankle?

1:15:13 Adam Maybe like a railroad or something. Yeah, we need to build some railroads.

1:15:18 Drew Yeah, I got an idea.

1:15:19 Adam You know what I'm gonna do when I'm in charge? I'm gonna build a railroad. It's gonna be one big circle. It's not gonna go anywhere.

1:15:27 Drew An interlocked circle swirling in.

1:15:29 Adam Yeah, it's gonna look like one of those things you stare at to be hypnotized. It's gonna look like one of those cinnamon bun rolls. It's gonna start in the middle, it's gonna keep spiraling out, it's gonna go nowhere. I'm never gonna put a train on it, but I'm gonna put every hoodlum, every troublemaker, and every guy that needs a little energy to blow off on it. About 12 hours out in the sun every day. That's what I'm gonna do. Railroad down.

1:15:55 Drew You know, you could just do a big circle and have two crews, one that tears up the track and one that lays it down.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah, following, going the opposite direction?

1:16:03 Drew Yeah, following.

1:16:04 Adam Yeah, following behind. Yeah, that's good. That's good. All right, Anderson, what do you got going there? You're pointing at something?

1:16:11 Caller I was just saying that was good of Drew to think that.

1:16:12 Caller And then when they meet each other, they could kill each other?

1:16:15 Drew No, no, no, following behind.

1:16:16 Adam No, they'll fall behind and tear the tracks up. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You go that way, I go this way, but that's too productive. Yeah, all right, that's what I'm going to do when I'm in charge. Jake?

1:16:28 Caller Hi.

1:16:28 Adam You're 17.

1:16:29 Caller Yeah.

1:16:30 Adam What's up?

1:16:31 Caller Well, I was fingering my girlfriend one night, and the day after she was at work, she said that she had to go to the bathroom every five minutes or so.

1:16:41 Drew You gave her a urinary tract infection.

1:16:43 Caller Oh, yeah? Yeah.

1:16:45 Drew You smash around down there, you push bacteria into the urethra, and that's how they get infections. And she needs to see a doctor get an antibiotic right away.

1:16:53 Caller OK.

1:16:53 Drew You can get up into her kidney. It's going to be a big mess if she doesn't get it treated. But it's a very common thing. It happens all the time.

1:16:59 Caller All right.

1:17:00 Adam All right. Hey, is there any fingering technique that doesn't do that, Drew?

1:17:06 Drew Yeah.

1:17:07 Adam Where is that urethra?

1:17:08 Drew It's kind of inside. So you don't have to smash around in there. It's not doing much for your friend.

1:17:14 Adam Your friend?

1:17:15 Drew Your woman friend.

1:17:16 Adam Mr. Vagina?

1:17:17 Drew Yeah, Mr. Vagina. Let's get the book out.

1:17:19 Adam Where is the book? Ms. Vagina?

1:17:22 Drew Where is the book?

1:17:23 Adam Oh, you know I don't like looking at that book, Drew.

1:17:25 Drew I know. That's why I like bringing it out.

1:17:26 Adam Tell me, Ann, where is your urethra? You got one, right? Yeah. Well, no, what I'm saying is, here's the vagina, then at the top, near the top, isn't the clitoris around the top area?

1:17:40 Drew Yeah, that's the top. That's sort of the point.

1:17:43 Adam Yeah, well, it's not right in that part, but it's down a little bit, isn't it?

1:17:46 Drew No.

1:17:47 Adam Right there? Ann, right all the way up?

1:17:51 Drew I've told you that a thousand times, and you fight it every time. Give me the magazine.

1:17:54 Adam It's not all the way up. God damn you. Where is that thing?

1:17:57 Drew Yeah, it is.

1:17:57 Caller It's right underneath the clitoris.

1:18:00 Adam Oh, yeah. All right. Wait a minute. No, I still don't think that... What the... How much crap can they pile on this? Is this it? Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. 60 pounds worth of junk on this thing. All right. Open that thing up, and don't let me look at it because it ruins the sexual fantasy for me, seeing all the working parts inside a woman. But the urethra is below the clitoris. No. Here it goes again.

1:18:27 Drew Listen, this is the point. There it is.

1:18:29 Adam That's the clitoris?

1:18:30 Drew Yes.

1:18:30 Adam All right. But I would argue that the vagina is still keeps going up there.

1:18:34 Drew You know what? It goes from here to here. That's the whole extent of it.

1:18:36 Adam It's just beneath.

1:18:37 Drew But it goes to the...

1:18:38 Adam Yeah, but this is the business end down at the bottom. Yes.

1:18:41 Drew Yes. Okay. I'll give you that. Okay. There's the rethra right here.

1:18:44 Adam That's how far under the clitoris would you say that is? Half an inch?

1:18:49 Drew Centimeter? A couple of centimeters?

1:18:51 Adam Yeah. I deal in millimeters and inches. Which one? You say it's half an inch?

1:18:55 Drew Yeah.

1:18:57 Adam And would you say...

1:18:58 Drew Half an inch on this picture, right?

1:18:59 Adam Well, no. That's more like a quarter inch there. What scale is this vagina? Would you say that's...

1:19:08 Drew Half scale.

1:19:08 Caller That's quite true to life.

1:19:10 Drew Half scale.

1:19:11 Adam Half scale vagina? Let's see. What do you think, Ann? Yeah. Is that about half scale picture?

1:19:16 Caller Maybe three quarter.

1:19:18 Adam If that was full scale, I'd tell you to put a hole in it. I'd go to the bathroom, test it out. All right. So Ann, how far is your urethra underneath your clitoris?

1:19:27 Caller I'd say about a quarter of an inch.

1:19:29 Adam Quarter inch? But that's a quarter... Thickness of a pencil is a quarter inch. That seems a little light, doesn't it? Maybe a little more?

1:19:36 Drew About two pencils.

1:19:37 Adam Couple pencils? Two fingers plain?

1:19:40 Caller Okay.

1:19:41 Adam All right. So anyway, what should you do? You should either go underneath it into the hole area there, or go above it where the clitoris is, right? Right. There you go. All right. See, I'm learning. I'll find my way around there. James?

1:19:58 Caller Yes.

1:19:58 Adam What's up?

1:20:00 Caller Last week, I found a lump in my left testicle, and I was wondering, the only thing I've ever heard that be is cancer.

1:20:10 Drew No, it can be hernias, cysts, veins, all sorts of stuff.

1:20:14 Caller I'm good going in there.

1:20:15 Drew Is it smooth or rubbery?

1:20:17 Caller No, it just feels kind of just like a lump, you know?

1:20:23 Drew Is it smooth?

1:20:25 Caller No, it feels like it pops up probably about the size of a, or half the size of a pencil eraser.

1:20:34 Drew Is it smooth?

1:20:37 Caller I would guess so, yeah.

1:20:38 Drew How many times did I have to answer that?

1:20:40 Adam To be fair to James, you only asked four times.

1:20:43 Drew A cancer will typically feel like a pebble, like real sharp surfaces of rock, like a rock in there.

1:20:49 Caller Yeah, that's what it's like. Well, the rest of the testicle is smooth and then there's a lump there.

1:20:55 Drew Yeah, but the lump, it can be firm, but if it has a smooth surface to it, it usually is nothing to worry about. But you got to get an ultrasound, you got to have a doctor look at it.

1:21:03 Caller Okay, well, if it is, will they have to do surgery and have it removed?

1:21:08 Drew If it is, that's the usual approach. As you know, Tom Green, I was involved in that whole Tom Green thing, I don't know if you're aware of that.

1:21:14 Adam You were?

1:21:15 Drew Yeah.

1:21:16 Adam Really?

1:21:17 Drew Yeah. And what were you involved with? Getting him to the right urologist.

1:21:22 Adam Was he not at the right guy before?

1:21:24 Drew He was not the best guy.

1:21:25 Adam What was the story with Tom Green? I know he had a testicle removed recently.

1:21:30 Drew Yeah.

1:21:31 Adam What was the situation?

1:21:32 Drew He just found cancer. He was following your advice to do regular self-examinations.

1:21:36 Adam Yeah.

1:21:37 Drew And came upon this thing and pow, that was it.

1:21:40 Adam And what did they do?

1:21:42 Drew Take a testy out and do a dissection of the lymph nodes in there too.

1:21:46 Adam So, they cut him up pretty high up?

1:21:48 Drew Pretty good, yeah.

1:21:49 Adam Yeah. He's okay now?

1:21:50 Drew Yeah.

1:21:51 Adam And what were you doing?

1:21:53 Drew Just telling him where to go.

1:21:54 Adam His manager is our manager. That's where the connection came in. All right. And poor Howard, he saw his cash register heading in the back of an ambulance. He got in that Lexus and started following it. He's not listening.

1:22:11 Drew He's going to kill me. Every time you go out in the boxing ring, he thinks that too.

1:22:14 Adam Oh, please.

1:22:16 Drew That's your cash register, right?

1:22:17 Adam Oh, right here?

1:22:18 Drew Yeah.

1:22:18 Adam That's right. That's my face. That's the cash register. Yeah. All right. We're going to speak to Tiffany before we go to break. Tiffany?

1:22:26 Caller Hi.

1:22:28 Adam You're 19.

1:22:29 Caller Yeah.

1:22:29 Adam What's up?

1:22:30 Caller I'm pregnant.

1:22:31 Adam Fantastic.

1:22:33 Caller No. I'm going to get an abortion.

1:22:35 Caller But my boyfriend's in jail right now, and I don't want to tell him that I'm pregnant.

1:22:41 Caller I don't know whether to tell him at all that I'm going to get the abortion.

1:22:44 Adam Well, what's he in jail for?

1:22:46 Caller Assault.

1:22:49 Adam He stole salt?

1:22:50 Caller No. Assault.

1:22:51 Adam I see. That's not as bad. Who did he assault?

1:22:57 Caller Some guys.

1:22:58 Adam I see. Why did he do that?

1:23:00 Caller I don't know. Just fighting.

1:23:03 Adam I see. And the fact that he's in jail for fighting probably means he's done some fighting before that.

1:23:10 Caller Yeah.

1:23:10 Adam Yeah. Why are you hooked up with a guy like that?

1:23:14 Caller I don't know. I don't know.

1:23:16 Caller I love him.

1:23:17 Adam Well, what's not to love? Boy, it scares me when a woman laughs like Arnold.

1:23:24 Drew Professor Fate.

1:23:25 Adam From Happy Days, you know.

1:23:29 Caller Bye.

1:23:30 Adam All right, baby. You have any other kids?

1:23:33 Caller No.

1:23:33 Adam That's good times. And when's he out of the jug?

1:23:37 Caller Thursday.

1:23:39 Adam All right. You guys will be reunited and you'll be pregnant again in no time. Yeah. What do you do for a living?

1:23:46 Caller I work for an airline.

1:23:48 Adam Uh-oh.

1:23:48 Drew What do you do for them?

1:23:49 Adam I'm a pilot.

1:23:50 Caller Reservation.

1:23:50 Adam Okay. Hey, Tiffany. Get that abortion. And don't tell him about it. And he doesn't care anyway.

1:23:59 Caller Okay.

1:24:00 Adam There's my advice. How old is he? Still getting into trouble, huh? That's not a great sign, by the way.

1:24:09 Caller I know.

1:24:09 Adam Guys, you know, they have a little extra energy sometimes. A little steam to blow off. A lot of testosterone pumping. Twenty-seven, going to the cooler for a week because of more brawling.

1:24:22 Drew It's a lifestyle.

1:24:22 Adam It's a lifestyle.

1:24:23 Drew It's a commitment.

1:24:23 Adam Yeah, you're kind of saying, I'm in this for the long haul.

1:24:27 Drew What airline do you work for?

1:24:29 Caller Which airline?

1:24:30 Caller Continental.

1:24:31 Adam Yeah, I just flew Continental.

1:24:32 Caller Oh, good deal.

1:24:33 Drew I heard good things about it.

1:24:34 Adam Yeah, it was good.

1:24:34 Drew God, I was in Alaska last weekend. Oh, my God.

1:24:37 Adam You flew Alaska?

1:24:38 Drew The plane's over the ticket booth. Oh, my God. That's what I was going to yell at her about.

1:24:41 Adam Oh, okay. Hey, Tiffany? Sorry you don't work for Alaska. Drew can't yell at you. All right, baby. You sure you don't want to go out with a guy who's not a felon?

1:24:50 Caller Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm looking for somebody new.

1:24:52 Drew All right.

1:24:53 Adam Oh, you're looking for someone new?

1:24:55 Drew Get on the pill too while you're at it.

1:24:56 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:24:57 Adam All right, baby.

1:24:58 Drew All right.

1:24:58 Caller Thanks.

1:24:59 Drew Take care.

1:24:59 Adam God bless you. I just, I don't know why this popped in my head, and I just got to say before we go to break, but I never get tired of being insulted and outraged when I hear the stories of guys like Ted Bundy siring children in prison. More than one, if memory serves, Ted Bundy, Ted F. Bundy, Ted Bundy, who would put his arm in a fake cast, hover around spring break in Florida, lure 16, 17-year-old girls away, and basically torture them, rape them, and kill them, and did not focus on 40-year-old prostitutes, work in the red light district. 16, 15, 14-year-old girls, torture them, rape them, kill them, and did this. They don't even know how many of these women he got to, but it was certainly in the 30s, at least in the 30s. And while he was in prison, he was incarcerated for at least 10 years before he finally got fried, which is the good news, got himself married, had himself some conjugal visits, and has himself, I think, has a 19-year-old daughter now. When as a society do we think it's okay? I mean, when can we finally say at a certain point, hey, you're not getting laid. You've raped, tortured, and killed too many teenagers. The line is 25. You did 37. Sorry. You can't bang your way in prison while you're waiting to hit the chair, Ted. Is that okay? Is it all right to have those kind of laws? Do you know what I'm saying? Why does Tex Watkins, one of the Manson family members, have a handful of kids he sired from prison? Do we want guys that are in prison having kids? Serial killers? Mass murders? I mean, how bizarre is that? But here's the real beauty. No guest house above my garage. That cannot be done. That, it's a mathematical impossibility that the government let me at my own expense, great expense, erect a building on top of a piece of property that I own.

1:27:46 Drew To whatever specification they require.

1:27:48 Adam To whatever specification they require. That, we cannot live in that kind of anarchy. But if Ted Bundy wants to get his goddamn rocks off while he's behind bars, that's nobody's business but his own. And imagine being the parents of one of those 16 year old children that was raped and tortured by this animal, knowing that he's bumping pubes behind bars. That we brought a woman in and let him have his few minutes with her in the trailer after he got done destroying your life.

1:28:23 Caller Do you know what I'm saying? What is that?

1:28:25 Adam Why aren't more people outraged by that? How does that work and why can't we say no? And why do we have to have laws that are so sweeping? It's like, well, if the guy who's behind bars for selling a dime bag of weed at a Grateful Dead concert gets to get married, then Ted Bunny. Why is that? Why can't we say no? If you're on death row and you're serial rapist and killer, we'll make an exception. You cannot get married. The guy who sold the acid at the concert, he can get married if he wants. What's wrong with that law? Why is everyone, why does that work? And why would the system fall apart if we made that distinction? Oh, people better pray I get in charge soon around here. We'll be back.

1:29:09 Caller Yo, Loveline will be right back, homie.

1:29:49 Drew Still hearing about building codes and pencil pushers and Jesus Christ. Death row inmates.

1:29:56 Adam Had enough to hear with these idiots. Government pencil pushing pussies. Drive me insane. Had a guy, I was just telling Drew, when I built my house a few years ago, I had some inspector telling me I had to enlarge my bathroom door from 28 inches to 32 inches because it was code. And by the way, maybe I don't like fat people. Maybe I want a skinny door in my bathroom. Maybe that's my own goddamn business. Maybe when they pay for the goddamn house, then they can tell me. But he said 32. And because I was a contractor, I knew what the 32 was. That's for wheelchair access. They enlarge all doors to a minimum size of 32 inches so that the handicapped folk can make it through in their wheelchairs. I guess Larry Flynn could swing by. But what he didn't factor in is there's 86 stairs from the street up to my house.

1:30:49 Drew It would require a crane to put something in your house.

1:30:51 Adam Drew, you've been to my house.

1:30:52 Drew I can't make it on two feet. I won't let my kids climb your stairs.

1:30:56 Adam My grandmother can't come into my house because she's just not strong enough to make it up all of the stairs.

1:31:02 Drew You mean that worked?

1:31:03 Adam Yet I got some pencil dick telling me that I got to knock open my bathroom door for wheelchair access. I told the guy to kiss my ass and he didn't want to admit it either. I said, why is it 32? He said, that's the code. I said, why is that? He wouldn't tell me. I said, because it's wheelchair, isn't it? Sea sucker, driving me nuts, these guys. Jesus Christ. We all need to stand up against these people. Misty?

1:31:33 Caller Yes.

1:31:33 Adam We do.

1:31:35 Caller Good.

1:31:36 Adam Listen, next time you get a ticket for going through a four-way stop sign at four in the morning on some desolate stretch of highway, we need to say, hey, there's no danger. What about the spirit of the law? You know what I mean? Why we all just turn over and invite it for everybody? We should fight these things. Greatest day in my life is when I beat that candy ass J-walking ticket in the crappy city of Burbank. Greatest day in my life. Burbankians can kiss my hairy ass. I like to sue you for wasting my time.

1:32:10 Drew Didn't you get in trouble for talking about the judge on the radio?

1:32:13 Adam I talked about all those pussies on the radio. Listen, if you're going to sit around and bust people for J-walking inside the crosswalk while the signal's green, you deserve to get your ass chewed out. You drive me nuts.

1:32:27 Drew Misty?

1:32:28 Adam What's up?

1:32:29 Drew Better make it quick before he goes off again.

1:32:32 Caller I was just wondering, if my husband thinks I'm weird because I don't want to have sex because I'm eight months pregnant, is it okay to have sex?

1:32:41 Drew Are you having any labor?

1:32:43 Caller Just pre-labor.

1:32:45 Drew The false labor, huh?

1:32:46 Caller Yeah.

1:32:46 Adam That could feel good on him.

1:32:49 Drew There shouldn't be any problem.

1:32:51 Caller All right.

1:32:52 Adam Have fun. There we go. Brent?

1:32:55 Caller Yes.

1:32:57 Adam You got withdrawals from a dexedrine?

1:32:59 Caller Yeah. I have ADD and ADHD. I wanted to know if there would be any withdrawals from Luvox or dexedrine when I want to try to get off.

1:33:12 Drew Luvox there isn't, but dexedrine, it's stimulant speed. So there can be a little bit of a drop off from that, but it's usually not too bad.

1:33:20 Adam All right.

1:33:21 Caller Let's see. That's one more here. Brian?

1:33:25 Caller Yeah.

1:33:25 Adam The 21 you just found out that your wife cheated on you while you were in jail.

1:33:31 Caller Yes.

1:33:32 Adam What were you in jail for?

1:33:34 Caller Contributing to a minor.

1:33:36 Caller I bought a 16-year-old pack of cigarettes.

1:33:39 Adam Yeah. You must have done more than that.

1:33:41 Drew Of course.

1:33:42 Adam What else did you do? While you're robbing the liquor store, you threw them a pack of cigarettes?

1:33:46 Drew No.

1:33:46 Caller I just handed her a pack of cigarettes.

1:33:49 Drew Ryan, what else was going on?

1:33:50 Adam You had some priors though, didn't you buddy? You had some priors, didn't you?

1:33:54 Drew No.

1:33:55 Adam No. You just bought a pack of cigarettes for a kid and you did time.

1:33:58 Drew Yeah.

1:33:58 Caller They gave me 20 days in county.

1:34:00 Adam All right.

1:34:01 Drew It doesn't make sense.

1:34:02 Adam It doesn't make sense. Come on. What else did you do? What did they say you did?

1:34:06 Caller I had sex with her and her parents pressed charges.

1:34:08 Adam Okay. All right. So you bought a pack of cigarettes and you're a corn holder. Fine. All right.

1:34:13 Drew How could you have left that out?

1:34:15 Adam I don't know. Now I'm done with it.

1:34:16 Drew Oh my God.

1:34:18 Adam Well, we're in there for the cigarettes, you idiot. In there for having sex with a minor. Then his wife cheated on him while he was in jail. Don't have kids. Just don't have kids. All right. We're taking a break.

1:34:33 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:35:11 Drew And another memorable evening comes to a close. Tomorrow night, a good group of guys are coming in here lit. The next night, which will be Wednesday here on the West Coast, Stone Temple Pilots. Be sure to tune in to that, and then Busy Phillips on Thursday. So again, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Carolla saying mahalo.

1:35:29 Adam Uh, okay. All right, so you bought a pack of cigarettes and you're a corn holder. Well, now.

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Monday, May 8, 2000