Episode 1000754887404

2:40 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

2:46 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:50 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:53 Voiceover Loveline.

2:55 Drew Yeah. So, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, facts number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

3:07 Adam We were just comparing pathologies.

3:09 Drew Oh, God.

3:10 Adam Okay. Hold on. Yes, yes.

3:14 Drew I'll tell you, it's important everybody, everybody, you all have your own pathology, meaning, there's something that flips your cookie in life. Maybe you're an exhibitionist, you should be a stripper. Because if you're not an exhibitionist, if your dad didn't F with you, if your uncle didn't F with you, if you didn't get enough attention from this guy or that guy.

3:36 Adam You don't have that.

3:37 Drew And you're a stripper, you're gonna be miserable.

3:40 Adam That's right.

3:40 Drew Miserable, I mean, just think about a woman who comes from a very sound, loving environment where she respects and reveres her parents getting up on stage night after night and taking her clothes off. Painful, right? Yeah, that's my problem.

3:55 Adam That's the situation you're in. He was taking up stripping, I didn't know.

3:59 Drew I'm not F'd up enough to like this business. I'm tired of it, I don't like it. I know everyone says, you're doing it, don't give me a break. I don't, I don't. I don't like being in front of the camera, I don't like talking to people. I want to get away from people, I want to go home, I want to be left alone, leave me alone. I'll do anything to be left alone, I really will.

4:19 Adam But, I mean, you don't want to be out all together, you just need a pace, you need to be paced.

4:23 Drew I could see myself doing the radio.

4:25 Adam Radio's different, yeah.

4:26 Drew Radio's different, because that's just me and you and a bunch of a-holes listening, who I don't really think are paying attention.

4:31 Adam It's not like performing, it's like having a...

4:33 Drew No, I don't, I just want to be left alone. I want to be left alone. I don't want to go any more parties, I don't want to talk any more kids, I don't want any, I want to be left alone. God, I miss being left alone. Oh, I never thought I'd get to that point in my life. I was at Lake Havasu this weekend for the entire weekend. I got on the goddamn bus the second The Man Show stopped taping and I got in two and a half hours ago and it was just nothing but frat guys just wanting to chug a beer and do a shot. I just want to be left alone and you know what? I'm an a-hole too. Listen to me, any of you who run into me on the street and want to come up and say hi, say hi, then leave.

5:21 Adam Just for like a couple of months, don't even say hi.

5:23 Drew Don't even say hi. You're right.

5:25 Adam Watch out.

5:25 Drew Be careful. Listen, there's a few of you and I've run into you, where you come up to me and you go, hey, how's it going, buddy? And I go, yeah, good. And they go, hey, buddy, let me get you in a headlocker. And I go, hey, leave me alone. And they go, oh, hey, I'm a big fan of the show. Oh, hey, I like you. You're not so cool. You know what? That doesn't break my heart at all. I don't care. I'm done. You think I'm an a-hole? Good. Screw you. Don't watch. Don't listen. I don't care. I don't care. Geez, I'm going insane, Drew. I really am. I'm starting to lose it.

5:57 Adam I just wonder if you'd feel better if you had a little break, you know?

5:59 Drew Yeah, a little break, yeah. Like six months or something. I'm just done. I'm done talking to people. I'm done. Justin, you're on line six. What's up?

6:10 My girlfriend, me and my girlfriend were having sex this morning and the condom broke and I was wondering where to get the morning after pill, how much it costs.

6:19 Drew Where are you calling from?

6:20 Stockton.

6:22 Drew That's California there, right, Drew? And can't you just go to, is there Planned Parenthood around there?

6:30 Adam Yeah.

6:30 Drew I think that's the place to go, right?

6:32 Adam That's the only place you can go.

6:33 Okay, they all offer them?

6:35 Drew Yeah, as far as I know. They're in a big fishbowl right at the counter. You just reach in and grab a handful.

6:39 Adam You know, it's interesting, we, drew.com, advertised a bunch on Felicity last week and during that, that was a show about the morning after pill. It opens up with Felicity, I guess, working in like a family planning clinic and a girl comes in and condom broke. Where can I get the morning after pill? The whole episode was about the morning after.

6:55 Drew Well, Felicity never gets nailed herself.

6:57 Adam Of course not.

6:58 Drew Yeah. I don't know what that is in TV. Whenever somebody, whenever they delve into the tough subjects, it's never the person that's the star of the show, which you'd think about if you want a vehicle to delve into the tough subjects, drugs or addiction or abortion or whatever the hell it is, why not just make the goddamn guys the star of the show have it? No, it's a guy you know as a friend of his because he's perfect. All right, Justin, so watch Felicity.

7:27 Adam When did this happen?

7:28 This morning.

7:29 Adam All right, so the sooner you get it, the more effective it's going to be, okay?

7:32 Okay, do you know how much it would cost?

7:34 Adam I think it's about $30 in that range. And again, Planned Parenthood may be able to prorate that for you, but any doctor can get it in the emergency room. If you're in the state of Washington, you can get it without a prescription from a pharmacist. So just take advantage of this. It's something that will hopefully avoid a lot of unwanted pregnancies and abortions.

7:51 Drew Well, how's the without a prescription work when you go into Planned Parenthood and you're not in the state of Washington?

7:57 Adam You see somebody and they give you a prescription.

7:59 Drew All right, so it's the same thing.

8:00 Adam I was just announcing for people, I'd be in Washington.

8:03 Drew Right. But what I mean is, if you are living in the state of Washington, you could just go into a pharmacy and buy it.

8:11 Adam Yep. There's a number 188, not 2, number 2, not too late. And they actually can refer you to a pharmacist that would distribute.

8:20 Drew All right.

8:22 Hey.

8:23 Drew You're 15, what's up?

8:24 Caller Yeah. First off, I'd like to say, Adam, you're a god, man.

8:29 Drew Thanks, but I'm done. I'm tired.

8:31 Adam He's a fallen god. I'm done with all of you. He's a fallen god. He's done.

8:33 Drew I'll tell you, enjoy me. I got a little more time left in this business and that's it.

8:38 Adam Good night.

8:39 Drew That'll be it.

8:40 Caller Yeah, you and Flea. But my question basically...

8:43 Drew Flea was the name of the bus driver I had who just drove me to Laughlin.

8:48 Caller Oh, that's fun.

8:50 Drew Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

8:52 Caller Yeah, yeah. I'm a bass player so he's basically... Did you pull out?... my god. Oh, really?

8:56 Drew Oh, thank you.

8:58 Caller Yeah. My question is I kind of have like a fear of being rejected by females and kind of a fear of commitment too.

9:06 Adam You're 15.

9:07 Caller I know.

9:08 Adam That would be age appropriate.

9:10 Drew Yeah. Everyone's scared at 15.

9:12 Adam Of everything. Yeah.

9:14 Drew You get older, you discover boos, and then you just don't care.

9:17 Caller No, I don't want to get into that.

9:19 Adam No, no, no, no, no. He's not... oh, gosh.

9:21 Caller Yeah.

9:21 Drew No, no, go ahead.

9:23 Adam He's not suggesting you should, but just give it some time. Keep... I want to just say keep whacking away, but now you take off on that. Right. Keep slugging away, putting yourself out there, taking chances, and slowly you'll gain some skill with these things.

9:36 Caller Okay.

9:37 Drew All right, Tyler. Okay, thank you very much. Listen, don't think so much.

9:42 Caller Okay.

9:42 Drew Yeah, everyone is scared assless of women and rejection and dates. Engineer Anderson does a lot of distracting hand gestures, which would be okay for many professions, except for engineer, because I catch him out of the corner of my eye, and he's whipping his hand around like in a lasso motion, or he's going side to side with his hands, and I'm looking at him, and I'm thinking, that must mean he wants me to do something, except for it doesn't mean he wants me to do anything.

10:14 Adam He's got to remember that. He has such bad ADD. Yeah, right. He has to remember he's not just an engineer, he's your engineer. And I just happened to see what he was doing, too. He was rubbing his eyes.

10:22 Drew No, he was not.

10:23 Adam Yes, he was.

10:25 Drew No, he was doing, yeah, that's what he was doing, you jackass.

10:28 Adam What is that?

10:29 Drew It's meant to distract and annoy. That's what that is.

10:33 Adam But you know what's nice, Adam, we actually have a little conspiracy going here. I'll do stuff like this and I'll do this.

10:39 Drew Okay, let me explain with you though, Drew. You, when you do your incessant doodling with your marks a lot on your notepad, you can hear it over the mic.

10:50 Adam No, I know that, but I've been doing this a lot.

10:51 Drew I don't mind that. You thump and bang around. Anything I can't hear, I don't care. You can move around all you want. I have a seizure for all I care over there. Just don't make so much noise about it. Chris?

11:03 Yeah.

11:04 Drew You're 19.

11:05 Caller Yes, I am.

11:05 Drew What's up?

11:07 Caller I would like to say that you guys are doing a great job, and Adam, you're not a god, but you're a deity.

11:11 Drew That's fine.

11:12 Adam That's a big difference there.

11:14 Caller I hope you can live with that.

11:16 Drew I don't really know the difference, but I'll go with it.

11:18 Caller Okay. I have a question. I had sex last night, and I was using a condom, but the condom was rather large, and it lasted only one minute. And after about a minute, I ejaculated inside of her, but the condom had slipped about a third of the way down my penis. Right. And I ejaculated, and then I pulled out, and I didn't see, well, at least I don't think I saw any sperm hanging out, or hanging around at the base of the penis, where...

11:55 Adam Where the slippage had occurred.

11:56 Caller Yeah.

11:57 Adam That's fine.

11:57 Drew Did the condom come off with you, though? Did you pull out?

12:01 Caller Yeah, I pulled out, and it was still on.

12:02 Adam That's the biggest problem with the slippage, is that it slips, it slips, and then when you try to pull out, it comes off.

12:08 Drew Right.

12:09 Adam And then... And then...

12:10 Caller It stayed on.

12:10 Adam And when it comes off is when it spills its contents, so you're all right, probably.

12:14 Drew Yeah. And hey, Drew, what about this? I'll maybe be hard to put on, but I'm sure the way the condoms are designed, they have a little bit of a sort of a snap ring at the end to sort of grab on. The very...

12:27 Adam It's elasticity, yeah.

12:28 Drew Yeah. And I know there's that stuff for... There's that device that helps you achieve erection where you pump up your penis and then you snap that ring on and it keeps the blood in your penis.

12:38 Adam Right.

12:39 Drew What about a condom with a little stronger snap ring at the end that would actually not only help it stay on better, but it would help...

12:49 Adam Keep some tumescence going.

12:50 Drew Yeah, keep the erection going a little better.

12:52 Adam That's an idea.

12:53 Drew I mean, you couldn't put it on until you're good to go.

12:57 Adam Yeah.

12:58 Drew Oh, okay, wait a minute, better. Instead of... Because see, the problem with my idea is it'd be a little hard to get on because you'd have that thicker ring. If everyone knows what I'm talking about...

13:11 Adam You need to cinch it on the bottom.

13:13 Drew No, come on, Drew, stop screwing around. The drawstring?

13:15 Adam No, drawstring.

13:16 Drew No, I'm talking about... What about this? What about a device that is a lot like that one that I was just speaking of that you use with the vacuum device, where you pull the condom all the way over your penis, get a good erection, and then snap a little ring, like a garter at the very end. Keeps the erection longer and keeps the condom from sliding off.

13:38 Adam Interesting idea. Why not a cinching action?

13:42 Drew What are you going to make? What is it going to do, catgut or something? What are you going to do with that cinching?

13:46 Adam I'm not thinking in terms of how you actually pull it off.

13:48 Drew It's not going to work. You end up tying your balls in a knot underneath the thing with a sheep shank.

13:54 Adam Nothing. How about, I was just thinking, like NFL wide receivers use on their hands.

13:58 Drew A little stick them?

13:59 Adam Need something to, yeah.

14:00 Drew Yeah. No. Like a little pine tar on the end of your nuts?

14:04 Adam It was on the end of the condom or something. He rolled it down.

14:06 Drew Yeah, but it's going to end up getting stuck on your penis on the way up. I say you take the condom, you make the end just a little bit looser so it slides right on the penis, no problem, and then pop snap ring.

14:20 Adam Oh, interesting.

14:20 Drew Snap ring right there.

14:21 Adam Yeah, yeah.

14:22 Drew Every condom comes with one of these snap rings. It's literally three cents worth of plastic.

14:28 Adam Listen, this is the perfect sort of beginning of the condom loader.

14:33 Drew Yeah.

14:34 Adam Really, the sick shooter. Snap, that'd be it, on.

14:37 Drew I'm telling you, that little snap ring, keep the erection going.

14:40 Adam It would slide on and then snap.

14:44 Drew I don't know when you're making fun of me.

14:45 Adam No, no, I'm not making fun of you. It's a funny concept, but I think it has some merit.

14:50 Drew Well, I don't know if the condom loader is going to sell, but the little snap ring, and you'll keep an erection longer with that snap ring on there too. John?

15:03 You've got to be kidding me.

15:05 Adam Of course.

15:06 Drew That's excellent.

15:07 Adam We'll just, let's hang on and see if they're...

15:10 Drew Yeah, oh, he hung up. Son of a bitch. I don't know if people look at that as an insult or not. To me, that's just flat out entertainment. I wish every other call was a toilet flashing. Alicia?

15:24 Guest Hey, guys.

15:25 Drew Hey, you're 17. What's up?

15:27 Guest Yeah, I just met my dad. Six months ago. And now he wants me to move in with him. And it just, it kind of freaked me out because when I met him, he had just gotten out of prison.

15:41 Drew What was he in there for?

15:43 Guest For attempted murder. He was in there for 16 months.

15:48 Drew 16 months?

15:49 Guest Well, 16 years, I'm sorry.

15:51 I'm kind of nervous.

15:52 Drew Same difference. I'm sure it's the same to him. 16 years, 16 months. And who was he attempting to murder?

16:01 Guest I have no idea. It was just some guy that he got in a fight with when they were all intoxicated.

16:07 Adam And how was his relationship with your mother?

16:12 Guest Well, after my mom got pregnant, she's a drug addict, too.

16:17 Adam Oh, she left that part out about dad, too.

16:20 Drew Yeah. So your mother was just a year, you were just a year old when your dad went to the Pokey, right?

16:28 Guest Yeah.

16:28 Drew I see. How long has he been out?

16:31 Guest For about six months.

16:33 Drew Okay. So he's been in there. Did you talk to him while he was in the Pokey?

16:37 Guest No.

16:38 Drew No, you never had any contact with him?

16:39 Guest Uh-uh.

16:40 Drew And now he's out and he's contacted you?

16:42 Guest Uh-huh.

16:43 Drew Yeah. What do you think?

16:46 Guest I don't know. It's just-

16:47 Drew Has he been able? Could he have found you if he wanted to?

16:50 Guest Yeah.

16:51 Drew While he was in?

16:52 Guest Yeah. Because I've been living with my grandma and he's known her for like forever.

16:56 Adam So what do you think he's up to here?

16:59 Guest I have no idea. It's just- it's weird because I'm just trying to get to know him and then, like, he's moving too fast.

17:07 Drew Yeah. Oof. Is he- is he sober now?

17:13 Guest He said he's been clean off a heroin for a year in June.

17:17 Drew Is he drinking or doing anything else?

17:19 Guest He drinks.

17:20 Drew Yeah. That's not good.

17:21 Adam He's not in a program. He can't be. He's still using.

17:25 Drew He's been clean off heroin for a year, but he's been in jail for 16 years? Yeah.

17:30 Adam People get heroin in jails.

17:31 Drew Oh, yeah. I know. Yeah, there you go. Hey, Alicia.

17:36 Yeah.

17:37 Drew Stick with your grandma. Take it slow with your dad. I wouldn't move in with him. You don't owe him anything. Don't let him guilt you into that. And all of that, all that, hey, you're my blood. Nonsense. Nonsense.

17:55 Adam You've heard how Adam talks about his blood, his blood relatives.

17:59 Drew Yeah, screw him. Listen, if I went and banged a hooker in Nevada, the condom broke, and then I went back to LA and 16 years later, there was a kid, you know what I mean? What kind of relationship would we have? Oh, what would that kid think of me? I mean, that's blood. And I don't know where everyone gets that. It's not that big a deal. It's way, you got to, way overrated. You got to earn your right to be a parent.

18:30 Adam Oh, yeah.

18:31 Drew You really do.

18:32 Adam Well, that's why you and I have issues about these adopted kids suddenly sort of forsaking their adopted parents who've raised them and loved them for 18 years.

18:39 Drew Yeah. I got to go find a real junky mom.

18:43 Adam Yeah.

18:43 Drew Let me just check the project or the flop house or the crack house. Let's see if I can scrape her off the bad rust-colored shag, tell her I love her.

18:52 Adam Yeah.

18:53 Drew That's something that's within you. That's not about your mom.

18:56 Adam Right.

18:57 Drew And you ain't going to fix it by finding that old hag or that a-hole who's in the can for 16 years, the junky a-hole who's in there for attempted murder.

19:06 Adam It's never the idealized individual that you've conjured up in your mind.

19:10 Drew Right.

19:10 Adam Never that person.

19:11 Drew OK. Charles.

19:14 Adam It's kind of like radio.

19:15 Drew You're 19.

19:15 Adam We're always a disappointment, you know?

19:17 Drew Yeah. Even to each other.

19:19 Adam Nightly.

19:20 Drew Charles. What's up, man? You're 19. What do you want?

19:24 Caller All right. Basically, I've been going out with a girl for about a year, and I had a blind date last night, and we ended up having sex at the end of the night. The girl I had sex with is 17. My girlfriend is 16.

19:37 I'm 19.

19:38 Caller I'm afraid this girl I had sex with was going to go run to mom, because, you know, it was just a one night thing, right?

19:45 Drew Well, wait a minute. Why are you having blind dates when you have a girlfriend?

19:52 Caller I don't know, man. I wanted something new. Kind of spur of the moment thing.

19:56 Drew Well, hold on a second. I understand you cheating on your girlfriend, and maybe you're out at some dance club, and you run into some chick who's drunk.

20:04 Adam This is a meditative chick.

20:05 Drew A blind date means that you guys are set up through a mutual friend? Well, I mean, like I said, it's kind of weird to be set up on a date when you have a girlfriend. Okay.

20:19 Caller This is my brother, actually.

20:21 Drew I see. All right. Hey, Charles.

20:22 Adam Well, that makes it okay, right?

20:25 Drew I don't suspect. Did you rape her? No. No. That's a nice change of pace for Charles.

20:30 Adam I'm doing a thing for MTV on Tuesday, in fact, about underage date, older guys and younger girls, and this movie Gel Bait they're putting out.

20:38 Drew Oh, MTV?

20:39 Adam Yeah. I'm helping them sort of create some content for it, and it's exactly about this situation, where basically the guy who just turned 18 and pregates a girl that's still 15, and he's got problems. If it's more than three years and he's over 18, then it is a serious problem.

20:54 Drew MTV contacted you?

20:56 Adam Yep.

20:57 Drew Really?

20:58 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's because I went and visited them in New York. I think they remembered that we exist. Scoring? I suspect.

21:03 Drew Scoring. Well, I get nauseated by all those Loveline trailers and commercials I see on a nightly basis.

21:11 Adam Overwhelming.

21:12 Drew Overwhelming. All righty.

21:15 Adam But the point is, look, first of all, he's got to leave his present girlfriend. That relationship is pathetic. And that one has some issues about too. He's 19, she's 16. I'm 17. This one's 16, 19. He's dating.

21:27 Drew All right. He's an idiot. There's no doubt about that. Full scale. I don't think he's going to tell her parents. She went out on a date with a guy and had sex with him. What's she going to brag to them about?

21:39 Adam Unless she gets pregnant.

21:40 Drew All right. Don't knock anyone up, Charles. Please.

21:43 Adam Wear a condom. Use birth control.

21:45 Drew That's right.

21:46 Adam Every time.

21:46 Drew Justin.

21:47 Yeah.

21:48 Drew You're 15. What's up?

21:50 Caller Well, today, my girlfriend came over and I performed oral sex on her.

21:55 Drew Wow.

21:56 Caller Yeah.

21:56 Drew On the holiest of days. On my people's Sabbath.

22:00 Caller Yeah. And well, I had a cold sore in my mouth. I noticed it afterwards. I know that she doesn't have anything, but I want to know if I can give anything to her from that.

22:09 Adam Yeah, you could give her herpes. Sure. Oh, s***.

22:13 Drew Try not to use the S word, Justin. You have a cold sore on your mouth?

22:18 Caller Yeah.

22:18 Adam You're not necessarily going to pass it, but you could.

22:21 Caller How much of a chance is there?

22:23 Drew 28, 29 percent.

22:25 Adam There's no number we can give you.

22:27 Drew Right. Just don't do it again.

22:29 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

22:30 Drew You're 15. I never got closer than nine feet from a vagina at 15. I couldn't imagine having my face stuffed in one. You hear that laugh? Yeah. Count Dracula. Poor's Carla.

22:45 Caller Boah.

22:48 Drew All right, Justin. All right. Listen, I don't know where you go. You see, on one hand, I'm envious of you, on the other hand, I feel sorry for you. You're 15. You're going down on chicks. Where do you go from there? Where do you go? Do you know what I mean? Are you getting oral sex from her?

23:05 Caller Uh, yeah.

23:07 Drew Oh, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. All right, Justin. All right. Yeah. Enjoy it.

23:14 Adam Maybe, there could be a flip side of this. Maybe if you were engaged in that behavior when you were 14, 15, 16, when it became the Holy Grail, you wouldn't continue to have such an etched-in preoccupation. You know what I mean? It could have become like, oh, well, now I'm on to something else.

23:29 Drew Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's interesting. I'm with you. I believe it's that way with everyone. I was talking to someone, and we've talked about this a few times, how my mom with her health food, not crap, turned me into a madman with the food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it backfires. Yeah. You deny your kids something and they want it that much more.

23:49 Adam I wonder if this is where all the anal sex stuff is coming from, that they're just up in the ante, up in the ante. They're all used to this at 15. By the time they're 23, it's now what?

23:57 Drew Of course.

23:58 Adam Yeah.

23:59 Drew I mean, listen.

24:01 Adam Oh, that too.

24:01 Drew When you're...

24:02 Adam Maybe that's where that comes from.

24:03 Drew Well, Drew, I've said it a thousand times. I mean, when you're 13 years old, you have full access to the internet. You're watching double penetrations and gang bangs and this kind of thing at 13. Then you're 15. You're getting a hummer from your girlfriend every weekend. You're going down on her. Now, you're 17 and a half, 18. Where do you go? I mean, it's time for cornhole, which is going to be the name of a Saturday morning show I'm working at. It's time for cornhole and everyone get on hold. Yeah. Like a guy with a banjo. I'm going to work the beats out on this during the commercial.

24:46 Adam I want to hear this.

24:47 Drew Chris's.

24:48 Caller No, no, no.

25:10 Drew All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back after this. Thanks for the offering, Anderson. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Yeah, it's Dr. Drew over there. I'm Adam Carolla over here. We're just speaking during the break about missing our native professions.

26:08 Adam Yeah, it's like we're getting so involved in this stuff that we have to be careful to protect what we really are.

26:14 Drew Yes, a carpenter and you're my lady. Oh, I mean physician, that's right. Chris, you're 15.

26:21 Caller Yeah, I am.

26:22 Drew All right. You want to ask a girl out.

26:25 Caller Yep.

26:26 Drew But whenever you get closer, you get an erection.

26:29 Caller Yeah, it's real embarrassing.

26:31 Yeah.

26:33 Drew Let me say this. I've said it a few times on this show, but lads, if you put on some of those 501 Levi's, especially the new hard ones, thick denim ones, and you put a nice pair of underpants on, the erection is not going to be a big problem.

26:52 Adam Unless they have some extraordinary anatomic problem.

26:55 Drew Which Chris doesn't have.

26:56 Adam No.

26:56 Drew What are you wearing? Surgical scrubs and no underpants?

27:01 Caller No, I just use the red boxers.

27:03 Drew Yeah? Boxers don't slow you down much.

27:06 Caller Okay.

27:07 Drew You got to get yourself, you got to get some briefs.

27:11 Caller Some what?

27:12 Drew Briefs.

27:13 Adam And then heavy pants.

27:14 Drew Butt huggers, ball nuggers.

27:16 Caller Okay.

27:17 Drew You know what I'm saying?

27:18 Caller Yeah.

27:19 Drew Yeah. I suggest all guys do. I don't know where you get this boxer thing. Here's the problem with the boxer. Penis comes right out of the fly. I've tried to wear boxers on a...

27:29 Adam And then he roads off on the pants.

27:31 Drew On a couple of occasions. I've attempted to wear boxers a few times. The fly hangs open on boxers, or at least any boxer I've ever put on.

27:40 Adam Yeah, but most guys, the penis hangs down below that. You see?

27:44 Drew Below the... You gotta hike them up a little. If the thing gets down, I know you're trying to weave a subtle insult to this, but let me tell you something. I've said it a hundred times. I have a fine gym... My penis looks good at the gym. When it's hanging, it's fine.

27:58 Adam Is that the new sitcom you're working on?

28:00 Gym...

28:04 Drew You know, really, Bill Kirkenbauer is gym dick.

28:08 Adam Plays by his own rules.

28:10 Drew Plays by his own rules. No, my penis hangs fine, but it will come out, especially if you get any kind of wood down there at all, it will pop right out of that fly. And the next thing about boxers is they're up the ass in a matter of moments, and one leg is coming up higher in the other, and then the backside is hanging out. It's way too high a price to pay for cool. I can't imagine them being more comfortable. My feeling with boxers is why bother with the underpants? Yeah. If you're going to wear, to me wearing boxers is like wearing a pair of shorts under your pants, and why bother? Just don't wear. Just free ball. Don't wear anything underneath there. Now, you want to know what a nice alternative is? Midways. You ever see those midways? No. Midway is, it's a boxer. It's as long as a boxer, but it's tight, like a brief.

29:01 Adam That's what I wear. You gave me grief for that.

29:03 Drew It's almost like a cycling short.

29:04 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:05 Drew I didn't give you grief for that.

29:06 Adam Yeah, you did.

29:07 Drew I gave you kudos.

29:08 Adam No, you said those are expensive.

29:10 Drew Oh, yeah, they're 20 bucks a pop. Yeah, but don't worry.

29:14 Adam No, that's what I wear, absolutely.

29:15 Drew I wear three, four days in a row. I get my money out of them. Scotty?

29:19 Hey, first off, Girls on Trampoline. Love that, Adam.

29:22 Drew Thank you.

29:22 Dr. Drew, love being in your chat rooms.

29:24 Adam Thank you. Is this my Scotty?

29:26 This is your Scotty.

29:26 Adam Oh, my God.

29:28 Drew You're 25, Scotty. What do you mean, you're Scotty?

29:30 Adam Scotty, the University of Oregon, which you missed.

29:34 Drew Right.

29:34 Adam Scotty was somebody from the chat room at drdrew.com who had met me there and helped me survive that event.

29:40 Drew Yay, Scotty.

29:41 How gay are you?

29:42 Drew Now, what do you want, Scotty?

29:43 Caller Well, here's the situation. I've been on Zoloft for depression. Life was pretty good. So I started working out a lot to lose some weight so I could go skydiving. The thing is, the more exercise I did-

29:53 Adam You broke your leg or something, right?

29:55 Caller Yeah, I broke my leg skydiving.

29:56 Adam I was chatting with Scotty the other day.

29:57 Caller Yeah, and I forgot to pull the speed brakes. Whoops. But it's just like the more exercise I do or the better shape I get in, the darker everything gets. And that's what concerned me.

30:10 Adam I wonder if that's a function of what the weight has meant to you, what you've used that for, whether you've sort of kept people away or-

30:18 Caller Oh, I'm good at keeping people away.

30:20 Adam But I mean, maybe it has more of a symbolic meaning for you and now that you're changing and you're actually becoming a different person quite literally physically, it's triggering some feelings you weren't prepared for.

30:30 Caller Oh, it's possible, but it's excellent. I'm sabotaging myself now at every step.

30:34 Adam Right.

30:35 Caller I'm eating, I'm pushing people away.

30:37 Drew Yep. That's my next plan too, Scotty.

30:40 Caller I'm sorry?

30:41 Adam Next plan.

30:43 Drew I mean, I'm going to shift that plan into high gear soon.

30:46 Caller Hey, and Adam, you should have been there at the university in Corvallis because the American basketball female squad was there.

30:53 Drew Oh, great. I miss those lesbians.

30:57 Caller Anyway, thanks.

30:57 Drew I tried to, Scotty. I was on a plane and I had to get off the plane. Wasn't that that trip?

31:03 Adam Yep.

31:04 Drew And let me tell you the beauty of me, everybody.

31:06 Adam That was it.

31:08 Drew Not a lot of tears in the long goodbyes. They got me off that plane. I said, good. I got right back in a car and I drove right home. I couldn't, but everyone thought that I did it on purpose.

31:20 Adam No, no, everyone thought you didn't try hard enough to get up there. They realized exactly that. That as soon as you realized there was a slight barrier, you would go, sorry, I can't make it.

31:29 Drew Well, listen, everybody, it is true that I don't want to do anything. I'll be straight up with you. I mean, if the power went out right now at this radio station, I'd jump up, click my heels again, I'd be in my car in 10 seconds and be driving home laughing like a hyena. I really don't like to do stuff, but I do not like to be accused of being unprofessional or of ducking things. I show up.

31:55 Adam No, no, yeah.

31:56 Drew The plane was delayed, I got off the plane, I went to the thing, I said, are there any more flights going to this area and any possible this time? Nope, nope, and nope. And then...

32:05 Adam That was it.

32:06 Drew I laughed like a hyena, got in a cab and drove home. Yeah, fantastic. Emily.

32:12 Yes.

32:13 Drew You're 22.

32:13 Caller I am.

32:14 Drew What's up?

32:15 Caller Well, I was wondering if it's possible for a guy to have an orgasm without ejaculation.

32:21 Adam Yeah.

32:21 Drew Yeah.

32:22 Adam A few ways. Why? What's happening there?

32:25 Caller Well, my boyfriend occasionally has an orgasm without ejaculation, and in fact, it wasn't until me that he would really have orgasm at all. That's interesting.

32:39 Adam You mean he couldn't have one at all with anybody?

32:42 Caller He had very few in his life with females.

32:46 Adam How about by himself?

32:47 Caller Yeah, by himself, he can orgasm.

32:50 Adam Is that because he'd been with very few females or because-

32:52 Caller Well, that and his dad's pretty abusive, and so he thinks that it probably had a lot to do with control and not being able to relax. Yeah. So we have a really great relationship except that I just really didn't know. I mean, it's kind of hard to-

33:10 Adam I can see multiple possibilities here. One is that he's not really having an orgasm but sort of faking.

33:14 Caller Yeah.

33:16 Adam Two, he might be having retrograde ejaculation, but that would be medications.

33:19 Drew That's where the semen goes into someone else's ass?

33:22 Adam Yeah. You can. Is he on any medication? No. Another would be that he masturbates so much that he sort of depleted.

33:31 Caller I doubt it.

33:32 Drew Well, I don't know. The guy was abused. Maybe he's a little addicted to the masturbation.

33:38 Caller Well, no. I mean, he just really wouldn't have time because he works and goes to school and we live together. Yeah.

33:43 Drew Believe me.

33:43 Adam Guys find time for that strangely.

33:45 Drew I can peel one off between the garage and the mailbox if I'm pressed for time. I really can while I'm walking.

33:51 Caller But I mean, is it like a- Well, I just don't know if it's really a big deal.

33:56 Drew Well, maybe he should go to a urologist or something to get checked out.

34:01 Adam I don't think it's a big deal.

34:02 Caller Okay.

34:03 Drew All right. You're fine.

34:04 Caller Thanks.

34:04 Drew There you go. Bye. Listen, I wish nothing came out of me when I had an orgasm.

34:08 Adam Well, you almost get to that point, don't you?

34:10 Drew Yeah, but it's really only on number 13 or 14. It's still powder. It's a tough push. But yeah, I really, it's like the smokeless ashtray. You know what I mean? It's, hey, no mess. I like that. That'd be great. Fantastic. Brian, I could let someone do my laundry, by the way. Let me tell you, I don't want to get, well, okay, I'll get a little bit candid here. I got a maid comes to my house on Mondays. I, as I was complaining to you off the air, Drew, have been home so little over the last couple of months, especially over the last couple of weeks, I have no more clean clothes, socks, underwear, all gone. And I have piled. I got a lot of underwear and a lot of socks. And I went through all of them. I haven't done laundry in weeks. And I just don't have a couple hours to dedicate the laundry. And people keep volunteering. Yeah, yeah, I'll do the laundry. I'll swing by and help you out. My maid is like, yeah, let me do the laundry. My laundry is such a mess. I mean, it is so embarrassing. It's so humiliating.

35:16 Adam Is it because you've been spraying all over it?

35:19 Drew I use that laundry like a mop slash squeegee. I mean, it's a disaster, that stuff.

35:30 Adam Oh, my God.

35:30 Drew And not only for the semen, just for anything that comes out of me. I'll wipe my ass, I'll blow my nose into that thing. I mean, it is a disaster.

35:38 Adam Your head is disgusting.

35:40 Drew It is, you know, it's like medical waste.

35:42 Adam Does it all stick together? It's like a block, blocko clothes.

35:45 Drew It's hard to get stuff apart. You have to like break stuff off. I have a few pairs of black underpants that just, it just looked like an Easter egg. Just a mess. And there's like hash marks everywhere. I mean, I mean, there could be blood places, you know, if I, if I'm like shaving and I nick myself and I'm bleeding, I'll grab a sock out of the hamper and, you know, blot myself. It is not a pretty...

36:12 Adam It's a public health hazard.

36:14 Drew Oh, it is. Yeah, absolutely. Like, yeah, you wouldn't let kids play around.

36:17 Adam I am really concerned. There could be runoff from it too. The water supply could be damaged.

36:21 Drew Yeah, I could, I could screw up the water table if I bury it out in the yard.

36:25 Adam Oh, but you can't bury it.

36:27 Drew Yeah. Yeah, the hazmat team will bring it bring it into the lab. But my point is, is I will not let anyone do it because I fear for them and I, you know, I fear for my dignity, what little I have left. So I won't let anyone do it yet. I'm never home, so I never do it. So it's a disaster. I'm wearing the same pair underpants for last week and a half.

36:51 Adam Thus, we are back to the what do you call those kinds of underwear?

36:55 Drew Midways?

36:55 Adam Midways.

36:56 Drew Yeah.

36:56 Adam Hey, listen, I am interviewing Mike Tyson tomorrow.

36:58 Drew Are you?

36:59 Adam Yeah. Three o'clock Pacific Time. We're doing a streaming video at drdrew.com. It's about the movie Black and White. He's cruising around with the director.

37:07 Drew Oh, I see. That's going to be interesting. What time is that?

37:10 Adam Three o'clock Pacific Time at drdrew.com on the streaming video, the drdrew.com show.

37:16 Drew Interesting. Yeah. Make a note of that. I think we'll check that out in the office.

37:21 Adam The man show.

37:21 Drew Wow. Yeah. I won't, but...

37:23 Adam Honor.

37:25 Drew Brian.

37:26 Adam Yeah.

37:26 Caller I was wondering about the long-term effects of DXM. It's the active ingredient in...

37:32 Adam Dextromethorphan.

37:33 Caller Hydrobromide, yeah.

37:34 Adam Yeah. Remember when dextromethorphan was a big deal? Like, has dextromethorphan in the cough syrup? Yeah. Now, they don't want anybody to know that because kids abuse it like hell. And it causes hallucinations. I have not seen any long-term effects from it. And, however, have I seen somebody using that primarily as their drug? So, it's hard to tell what's going on. Because it's usually with POT, with LSD, with other things.

37:57 Caller Okay.

37:58 Adam Is that you?

37:59 Caller Well, three times I drank about 700 milligrams.

38:03 Adam I'm more and more about the other things in the cough syrup, causing kidney failure and strokes, heart attacks, that kind of thing.

38:08 Caller I made really sure that that was the only active ingredient. There's a couple that only have DXM.

38:16 Drew How much is 750?

38:19 Caller That'd be like eight ounces of cough syrup.

38:22 Drew Wow. Those things come in what? Four ounce, six ounce?

38:25 Adam Six ounce, I think.

38:26 Caller You can get an eight-ounce bottle for like eight dollars.

38:28 Drew All right. That's a pretty cheap bust.

38:30 Adam What happened to you when you took it?

38:33 Caller Really, really confused. Kind of like when you just wake up. Yeah.

38:37 Adam See, if I understand right, it's more of a delirium you get from that.

38:41 Caller Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it was...

38:44 Adam It's not a good thing. Not a good thing.

38:46 Caller Okay.

38:46 Adam But it doesn't seem to have the same reliably destructive effects that LSD and ecstasy seem to have.

38:53 Caller So it doesn't use up serotonin?

38:56 Adam Again, I worry that it might. I don't know evidence that it does. It seems to be a sort of a... I'd have to study it more for sure, because I understand it's more of a delirium as a side effect, rather than a primary effect to hallucinogenic, which is those that cause the serotonin disruption.

39:10 Drew Well listen, there's no free rides, or free lunches, as my partner would say. If you're getting effed up off it, it's effing you up. I don't know if it's effing you up as bad as other things, but I mean that's really what people are looking for in a drug, isn't it Drew? Yeah. Here's the scale. How badly can I get effed up, as opposed to how badly is this effing me up? And some don't have a good ratio, others might have a better ratio, like mushrooms. I can get really, really effed up on mushrooms, as far as we know, they're not really effing me up.

39:46 Adam As bad as LSD or ecstasy.

39:47 Drew Yeah, that's the key, whereas ecstasy may be a little worse ratio there. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Cindy, who's 17, thinks she's a boy trapped in a girl's body. We never get this one.

40:01 Adam No.

40:03 Drew It's always a guy trapped in a woman, you know what I'm saying.

40:07 Adam I'm going to be at drdrew.com chat room, the college chat room. If you want to give us any questions, I'll pull them out of there.

40:12 Drew All right, I'm going to be peeing after this.

40:19 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

40:49 Drew Yep. It's Loveline. Adam, that's Drew, Drew.

40:53 Adam Yeah. So far, the only question, only comment I've gotten off the website is for you to do Tim the Russian Rapper.

40:59 Drew Oh, really?

40:59 Adam Yeah. It's an explicit call to this.

41:02 Drew So let me make a note of that. I'm going to make myself a little nervous.

41:05 Adam Here's one for me. What's the probability of getting alcoholism if my dad is an alcoholic? It's about 50 percent, about half the kids get the gene, half don't, but the fact that you inherit the gene doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to get the disease.

41:17 Drew Yeah. It could manifest itself in a different way.

41:20 Caller Right.

41:21 Drew You could be gambling, addiction, mountain climbing, thrill seeking.

41:25 Adam Yeah, or you could just have that thrill seeking sort of tendency but not develop into a real pathological direction.

41:30 Caller Right.

41:31 Drew Okay.

41:32 Adam So Tim, you're going to do Tim today? Yeah, you are. Good. You wrote it down.

41:35 Drew I wrote it down. All right. Don't monkey with that thing.

41:37 Adam He's making me close the computer.

41:38 Drew Cindy?

41:40 Caller Yeah?

41:40 Drew You're 17?

41:41 Caller Yeah.

41:42 Drew You think you're a boy trapped inside a woman's body?

41:45 Caller Yes.

41:45 Guest I am so scared.

41:47 Caller My heart beating is so fast right now.

41:49 Adam What makes you think that?

41:50 Caller Right now, my heart is beating fast. All right.

41:53 I judge girls a lot.

41:55 Caller I don't know why.

41:57 Caller I guess I hang out with guys, like a lot of guys only. I don't really have that many girlfriends. And the reason why I think I hang out with a lot of guys is because I have no father figure. I have no idea.

42:10 Guest It's just so weird.

42:12 Drew Would you like to become a man?

42:14 Caller No, I don't want to have a sex change.

42:16 Drew Hold on a second. See?

42:17 Adam Yeah.

42:18 Drew You can't find any women who want to be guys.

42:20 Adam Well, actually, I have met a couple. Lo and Yang ago, we had a couple of female to male, and they look male. Oh, yeah.

42:29 Drew And now, do they still have to die seven years earlier?

42:33 Adam The testosterone seems to be a large part of what makes guys do that.

42:36 Drew I think it's the work.

42:37 Adam And it's the work and the stress and everything.

42:39 Drew Well, look at it this way. I mean, I really look at the human bodies like an automobile. You drive it hard. You just drive it to the ground. You just stress it, burn it. You drive it.

42:51 Adam People don't do it. We had dinner on Saturday night. My wife and I were with another triplet parent couple. And boy, the moms just get their souls sucked right out of them.

42:59 Drew With the triplets?

43:00 Adam Yeah. And kids do that to moms. You see, you don't really take that kind of stress into account. I mean, why doesn't that cause them to die younger? Because it's insane the way kids just drain the life right out of moms.

43:10 Drew Yeah, they kill you, those kids. Yeah, they're devils, devil children. Thank God my parents had already been depleted of their life force before I was born. My parents were smart. They're like, I'll be goddamned if these kids are going to suck the life out of us. I'll tell you what, let's lose our will to live now and then we'll have kids and there'll be nothing. We'll be barren. There'll be no spark, no glimmer, no life in it. Either one of us, there'll be nothing to suck dry. Ingenious. All right, Cindy, I don't know what Cindy's prom is.

43:43 Adam Cindy sounds fine. Cindy is 17. She's helix hand-around guys because she's never had an intimate relationship with a guy.

43:48 Drew Fine.

43:49 Adam So she gets a lot of that. She'll find some romantic relationship too. It's probably a little scarier for her, but she'll get there.

43:55 Drew Jeanette?

43:56 Adam Hello?

43:56 Drew You're 17.

43:57 Caller Yeah.

43:58 Drew What's up?

43:59 Caller My boyfriend and I have sex and we don't use protection. He pulls out and he comes on my stomach and it's really like watery.

44:09 Drew All right.

44:10 Adam That's all right.

44:11 Drew Fine.

44:12 Adam What's your question?

44:13 Caller I mean, does that mean that he might have like a low sperm count?

44:16 Adam No, it doesn't mean anything.

44:18 Caller It doesn't?

44:19 Adam But as long as you guys continue in this behavior, it means you will get pregnant. Okay. He produces sperm. You guys aren't using protection. A lot of that comes out before he ejaculates. You will get pregnant.

44:30 Okay.

44:30 Drew Okay.

44:31 Thank you.

44:31 Drew Have fun with the kids. And listen, don't come to me for a goddamn penny to raise those little mongrels either. You hear me? You're on your own.

44:39 Adam Use a condom, take a pill, do something appropriate.

44:42 Drew Just get knocked up. Who cares? George?

44:44 Hello.

44:45 Drew You're 19. What's up?

44:46 Caller Yes, I am. I've been shooting heroin with my uncle for the past three years.

44:52 Drew Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

44:57 Adam That's what everyone does with their uncle, yeah?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

45:00 Caller I was diagnosed with HIV a week ago.

45:03 Adam Great.

45:06 Caller I'm really not sure how I got it.

45:09 Adam What do you mean?

45:10 Caller I mean, I don't know if it was from my uncle or from someone else or from something else.

45:14 Adam Is he the only one that you share with?

45:16 Caller No.

45:17 Adam Okay.

45:18 Caller No, I don't share needles.

45:20 Caller I don't share needles with my uncle.

45:23 Drew You don't?

45:24 Caller No, I don't.

45:24 Adam Where do you get your needles from?

45:26 Caller Where do I get my needles from?

45:27 Caller From my uncle.

45:30 Caller But I don't share them with him. So how could they be contaminated with HIV?

45:34 Adam Where does he get them from?

45:36 Caller I don't know.

45:36 Caller Havana.

45:37 Caller I have no idea.

45:38 Adam What kind of, do you take them out of wrapper?

45:41 Caller Yeah, I take them out.

45:42 Caller No, he takes them out of wrapper.

45:43 Caller Then he hands them to me.

45:46 Caller He loads it for me.

45:47 Adam So you have no idea where it's coming from?

45:49 Caller I don't know.

45:50 Drew Yeah, but the point is, this is, do you see him pull the syringe out of the wrapper?

45:57 Caller I lay back on the couch.

45:58 Caller We're in his basement.

45:59 Caller I lay back on the couch and I look at the ceiling.

46:01 Caller I don't watch him, what he does, you know?

46:04 Caller I mean, that's his business.

46:06 Caller It's not mine.

46:07 Drew Hold on a second. You think he's full of crap?

46:09 Adam Oh, yes.

46:10 Drew Yeah?

46:11 Adam Oh, yes.

46:12 Drew Why?

46:12 Adam I've dealt with a million heroin addicts. No one's ever given me that nonsense.

46:16 Caller Really?

46:18 Adam Take it back in.

46:19 Drew You don't believe George?

46:20 Adam Not for a second.

46:22 Drew Huh?

46:23 Adam That was all bogus.

46:24 Drew Really?

46:24 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:26 Drew You think so?

46:26 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:27 Drew Let me get him in here again. Come on.

46:30 Adam Well, wait till we reset.

46:32 Drew All right. George? George, get back here.

46:36 Adam He hung up. He was just goofing around.

46:38 Drew Are you sure?

46:39 No, I'm not putting him back on.

46:40 Drew All right.

46:41 Adam Once we reset, once we reset.

46:43 Drew He won't cuss. I want to talk to him. Listen, I want to kick this guy's ass. I really do.

46:48 Caller Yeah, we'll just give it a second.

46:49 Drew All right. Let me get him back on the phone. Get George on.

46:58 Caller Let's go ahead and take another call for a second.

46:59 Adam Well, if we talk less, it resets quicker, doesn't it?

47:03 Drew Does it reset quicker if we talk less? We're talking about the delay. Do you know how that works?

47:10 Adam It resets.

47:10 Caller Yeah.

47:10 Drew Oh, good. Hey, George.

47:13 Caller I'm not lying to you guys.

47:15 Drew All right.

47:15 Caller It makes you so much better. All right. Hold on.

47:20 Drew George, what city are you calling from?

47:22 I'm calling from-

47:25 Adam Say, that's not.

47:28 Drew Yeah. I feel bad.

47:30 Adam Let me tell him to stay on. I'll talk to him off the air. If he can't. He can't maintain even for a few seconds on the air.

47:40 Drew Hey, Dave.

47:41 Caller Word.

47:41 Drew Hey, you're 17. What's up?

47:42 Caller That was awesome.

47:44 Drew Yeah. I really want to kick his ass. I really do. I really do. I don't know why. Why?

47:49 Caller He was cool. What's up, guys?

47:52 Drew Hey, Dave. What do you want? You're 17. Yeah.

47:55 Caller I was wondering. I had anal sex with my girlfriend for the first time tonight.

47:58 Drew All right.

48:00 Caller I was wondering if anything bad might happen to her, like to her anus, to her butt. You know, I've heard stories, so.

48:07 Adam What stories have you heard?

48:08 Caller Like, they can't hold it in, you know?

48:10 Adam Yeah, that could happen.

48:11 Caller Stuff like that, you know.

48:12 Adam That could happen. Really?

48:14 Drew Well, was she in any pain? Did she seem to be traumatized?

48:18 Caller No, she seemed fine.

48:19 Drew All right.

48:19 Adam That's an area that you can cause, that already gets a lot of pathology. Carbuncles and fistulas and hemorrhoids and things. You can sort of stimulate that to occur.

48:28 Caller All right. So I probably shouldn't make a habit of it then.

48:31 Drew No.

48:31 Adam You know.

48:32 Drew Not for you either. Did you work on them?

48:34 Caller No.

48:35 Drew All right. You work on them. Otherwise, you pack your penis with dookie. All right. All right. There you go. I will take a little break. You want to talk to George off the air? Yeah.

48:46 Adam I'm going to try to see.

48:47 Drew He's still cussing.

48:48 Adam Well, if there's something really going on with him, I'll help him.

48:50 Drew Listen, if there's not, tell him I want to kick his ass.

48:52 Adam You bet.

48:53 Drew I'll talk to him. Okay. After this.

48:57 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

49:03 Caller We'll be right back.

49:32 Drew Here's Loveline and Adam Corolla as Dr. Drew. We're going to take a quick 10 second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

49:40 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:55 Drew It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. And let's hop back on the phones. I gotta take this one, Drew. I know you didn't pick this, but look at this. Jason?

50:08 Caller Yeah.

50:09 Drew You're 23. What's up?

50:10 Caller Well, I just got a question for Dr. Drew.

50:13 Adam Yeah?

50:14 Caller I don't exactly believe this because it sounds funny to me.

50:17 Adam And by the way, that guy George turned out to be a total BS-er.

50:20 Drew The guy said he was a junkie.

50:21 Adam Oh, please.

50:22 Drew With his uncle. Well, he could have been high.

50:25 Adam Yeah, he's had that quality about him, but then he was just jacking off. Ridiculous.

50:29 Drew All right.

50:29 Caller Okay. My girlfriend told me that she can't have babies because apparently when she was 14 years of age, she had sex with this guy whose penis was too big for her. And I guess it like damaged her cervix or something like that. And now she can't have babies because of it.

50:48 Caller Is this possible?

50:50 Adam No.

50:50 Caller No.

50:51 Adam There's a ton missing from this story.

50:53 Drew It's a lovely story to share with your partner, though.

50:56 Adam Well, there's a lot more missing. A lot more missing.

50:59 Caller That's what I figured. And she won't give me any more information on this. And I'm just going on what she said.

51:05 Drew How do you know she can't have babies?

51:07 Caller Because she told me that she can. Because we've been going out for a long time. And I would like to settle down and have a family and that. But she's telling me that she can't because of this problem.

51:17 Adam What's the matter with her cervix?

51:19 Caller She won't say. She just said it was damaged because when she was 14 she had sex with a partner who was apparently too big for her.

51:28 Adam Ridiculous.

51:29 Caller That's what I saw.

51:30 Drew Now what about this? What if she was 10 and she was raped or something like that?

51:37 Adam Either it's that she was real young and was raped and has all kinds of issues left over from that or sexual abuse.

51:41 Drew But what about physical damage?

51:44 Adam We hear about little kids all the time getting this and that. But what she could have gotten is an infection. He could have delivered God knows what into her and that can affect fertility for sure but has nothing to do with size of the penis.

51:57 Caller Okay.

51:58 All right.

51:59 Drew Jason? Uh-huh. How long have you been dating her?

52:06 Caller Almost about a year now actually.

52:07 Drew You got to open up some dialogue. That's nonsense. Right. Okay.

52:13 Adam Okay.

52:13 Drew All right.

52:14 Caller Do you think that she might have something? She couldn't have any kind of sexual disease. Otherwise, I would have it and I would know about it.

52:20 Adam Well, no. She may have had something that scarred her tubes. Something like that.

52:25 Drew Oh, man. I remember when my tubes first got scarred.

52:29 Adam Yeah.

52:30 Drew Hey, listen ladies. Don't tell your current boyfriends about your ex-boyfriend's huge penis doing damage to you. That is just that. That's got to be the worst goddamn story. They would really. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Here's the let me let me give you a male's reaction to two stories. When I was 13, I was in camp. I killed six other campers and buried them underneath the the cottage. We all stayed at.

53:03 Adam That's that's that's weird.

53:05 Drew Yeah. My boyfriend had such a huge shlong that he scrambled my in.

53:12 Adam Oh, come on. Oh, no.

53:16 Caller Oh, oh, did you?

53:18 Drew Oh, that tell me that may be a deal breaker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other part I was willing. I mean, that was a good four years ago. I could get over that, but not this.

53:28 Adam I think about it constantly.

53:29 Drew Yeah, I'm obsessed with it now. Melissa?

53:32 Adam Yeah?

53:33 Drew You're 18?

53:34 Adam Yeah.

53:34 Caller What's up?

53:36 Caller My boyfriend and me have been going out for a year. I've known him for four years and everything. When we have sex, sometimes it hurts really, really bad. I can't orgasm at all. Yeah.

53:47 Adam Where is the pain?

53:49 Caller In my stomach and down lower.

53:51 Adam When were you last seen by a doctor?

53:52 Caller I just went to the doctor a week ago and they said nothing was wrong with me.

53:58 Adam Did you tell them about these symptoms?

53:59 Caller Yeah, and they said that nothing seems wrong, but it does, it hurts like a lot.

54:04 Drew During sex? Yeah. And are you lubricated okay?

54:10 Caller Not really, but...

54:12 Adam That's part of the problem.

54:13 Caller Like we'll fix it, and like it still hurts.

54:17 Adam Is he...

54:18 Drew You'll fix it?

54:19 Adam They use lubricants.

54:20 Caller Yeah, we'll lube it up or whatever, but it still hurts a lot.

54:24 Adam Do you, is it with deep penetration you have a problem? What? Is it sort of a deep penetration that you have pain or just all the time?

54:31 Caller Like sometimes, not all the time, but like when we first start, it'll hurt a lot, and then it won't, and then it will, and like I'll have to stop.

54:39 Drew I see. Hey, Melissa? With the deep penetration, is there more pain?

54:46 Caller Yeah.

54:47 Drew Okay. Did they ever get the feeling our callers have their answer predetermined before you ask your question, and that was the answer you were going to get regardless of what your question was?

54:58 Adam Yeah. Okay. And is there no history of a tip uterus, pelvic infections, anything like that?

55:04 Caller No, nothing.

55:05 Drew Yeah. Are you freaked out by sex?

55:08 Caller No.

55:09 Drew Anything bad ever happen to you?

55:12 Caller Not really, no.

55:14 Drew No?

55:14 Adam I don't want to...

55:15 Drew No one ever made you do anything you didn't want to do?

55:18 Caller No.

55:18 Adam Okay.

55:19 Caller I don't get that from her.

55:20 Drew Well, I just wonder if she's tightening up a little bit of her pants or something.

55:23 Adam Usually that's right at penetration and not so much the deep penetration during sex. But listen, a pelvic ultrasound I would think would be appropriate. I'm going to go a little further with this. Yeah.

55:32 Drew Yeah. I may grab one of those tomorrow too. Trisha?

55:36 Caller Yes.

55:37 Drew You're 25.

55:38 Caller Yeah. Basically, my problem is, well, I don't want to get pregnant right now, but the problem is that we do the rhythm method and then we also do withdrawal. We never use condoms since the day that we got together.

55:51 Adam You do rhythm and what else do you do?

55:53 Drew Withdrawal.

55:53 Adam Withdrawal.

55:54 Caller Withdrawal. And I'm married, right? We're married. We've been married for a year and two months and we've been sexually active for like two, two years. And I have not gotten pregnant and that's the weirdest thing.

56:06 Drew Well, how, how exact is your rhythm method?

56:09 Caller I'm very regular.

56:11 Adam Well, you may be one of these people who, for whom the rhythm method works.

56:15 Caller It does. I mean, it's not like I want to get pregnant, but if I do, it would be great.

56:18 Drew Well, do you know when you're ovulating?

56:20 Adam Wait a minute.

56:21 Caller Yeah, I do.

56:22 Drew You do?

56:23 Caller It's like the, the mucus down there, it gets really sticky.

56:26 Adam So, you can really tell. If you want to get pregnant, why don't you have intercourse and not withdraw within a day of ovulation?

56:34 Caller Because right now it's not a, it's not that, you know, not, the time is not good.

56:39 Adam Okay, hold on, Tricia. What is her question?

56:42 Drew I don't know.

56:43 Caller Yeah, if it's, if it's, I mean, is it because my husband is not able to give me?

56:48 Adam Tricia, you're practicing a form of birth, a form of birth control.

56:52 Drew Hold on. Earth to Tartow?

56:53 Adam It's not a good one.

56:54 Drew Earth to Tartow.

56:55 Adam It's not a good one, but it's a way to not get pregnant for a while. And you've managed to succeed.

57:00 Caller Right.

57:01 Adam If you want to get pregnant.

57:02 Drew Yeah, because you know when you're ovulating and you don't have sex during that period, right?

57:06 Caller No, I still do. I do just the withdrawal.

57:09 Drew You do the withdrawal?

57:09 Caller Mm-hmm.

57:10 Drew I see.

57:10 Caller I'm ovulating. I don't do the withdrawal.

57:12 Drew Yes. Okay, but if you want to get pregnant, then when you're ovulating, you don't withdraw.

57:18 Caller But he won't. You see what I'm saying?

57:19 Adam Okay, well...

57:20 Caller No, he won't. He doesn't want to.

57:22 Drew Hey, Trisha.

57:23 Caller Yeah?

57:23 Drew Do you ever get hit in the head with a flathead shovel?

57:27 Caller No.

57:27 Drew Never? You never fell off a motorcycle or a moped and landed on a rock or anything?

57:32 Caller When I was a baby, I fell.

57:34 Drew You did fall?

57:34 Caller Yeah.

57:35 Drew Yeah, I was smelling a little trauma to the head. Are you not right?

57:40 Caller Well, I don't know. People tell me I'm kind of slow.

57:43 Drew Yeah, okay. Well, that's true.

57:45 Caller Yeah.

57:46 Drew Okay, Trisha. You definitely slow because you're calling us, asking us a non-question question.

57:52 Caller Yeah. Yeah, is it that we're not able to have children?

57:55 Drew No, you will have children.

57:56 Adam When ejaculates in you during the time of population.

57:59 Drew That's how that's how God planned it.

58:01 Caller Okay.

58:03 Adam Within a day, within 24 hours, you're in.

58:07 Drew Okay. Hey, Patricia, when you have a child and you put them in the car seat, then you put the car seat up on the roof of the car to clear out some space in the back seat.

58:17 Caller I've done that with my dog.

58:18 Drew Right. Do not drive with the child on the roof of the car. I know you've done that with your dog.

58:23 Caller I have.

58:23 Drew Okay. Kids, I give the kid 13 to 28 months before she, you know, suffocates him, mistakenly somehow. He rolls over on him while she's asleep, drives a quarter mile with him on the roof of the car before he falls off and gets hit by a street sweeper.

58:47 Caller Oh my God.

58:48 Drew I don't give him too much time. I really don't.

58:50 Caller Wow.

58:53 Drew She's going to, like, put the diaper on his head instead of his ass and suffocate the kid. Something's going to happen. Okay. All right. Well, that's just Darwinism right there. John?

59:05 Yeah.

59:06 Drew You're 23. What's up?

59:07 Caller Nah, how you guys doing?

59:09 Drew Good.

59:10 Caller All right. Well, the question I got is that, like, me and my girlfriend, we make out a lot, you know, just kind of give it into it. We never, like, have gone all the way to have sex or anything, but we've been done some heavy make out session and.

59:22 Drew How long have you two been going out?

59:25 Caller About three months.

59:26 Drew Yeah. How old is she?

59:28 Caller She's 23.

59:29 Drew Wow. Are you both virgins?

59:31 Caller Yeah.

59:32 Drew You are? That's nice. Wow.

59:33 Caller Yeah. We're engaged. We're about to get married here in a few weeks.

59:36 Adam Great.

59:37 Caller And so basically, the question was that we make out and she has an orgasm very quickly. Like, I just barely, you know, like after, you know, five, ten minutes of heavy making out, she, she, you know, has orgasms really quick. And I was wondering if that's normal at all, or if that's like, you know, something to look forward to.

59:55 Adam Superhuman.

59:55 Drew Yeah, that's good. It's good for you too, John. Makes you feel like a man. For me, it's like cracking a goddamn safe every time with a woman. It really is. Sweat coming off the brow. Got that music in the background. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. What?

1:00:43 Adam So she doesn't touch her anything?

1:00:45 Drew Let me see. John?

1:00:47 Caller Yeah.

1:00:48 Drew Are your fingers down?

1:00:50 No, no.

1:00:51 Drew She's just making out.

1:00:53 Caller Yeah. Well, just like right on her waist. I don't touch her, just like right on her pubic bone.

1:00:59 Drew He's rubber little down there.

1:01:00 Caller Yeah.

1:01:01 Drew Yeah, that could happen. Sure.

1:01:03 Caller Not where I actually touch her anywhere, but just get close.

1:01:07 Caller That's about it.

1:01:08 Drew Okay. There's a certain percentage of women that really react to a little friction down there, just sort of the right, get a little right rhythm going with the friction. As a matter of fact, I think, what do you think of this, Drew? I think a lot of women, more than let's say pants off, direct, let's say clitoral stimulation, react even better to sort of pants on, sort of rhythmic rub. Like a cat on one of those scratching poles. You know where they can sort of, it's like, it's not overly stimulating, it's not overwhelming, they can kind of create their own pace with it a little bit. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Antonio?

1:01:53 Yeah.

1:01:54 Drew You're 25, what's up?

1:01:56 Caller I am 25, Adam. How do you do?

1:01:59 Caller How are you doing, Dr. Drew?

1:02:00 Caller Good.

1:02:00 Drew We're all great.

1:02:01 Caller Check it out. My grandfather, he drank a lot and he went crazy. He had delirium tremens or something like that. That's from my mom's side of the family. On my dad's side, my aunt became all into God and she became a Jehovah's Witness. She left her, she was pretty well off and everything. She left her family, her husband, everything. Used to go to the hills and talk to people about God or whatever. Now, my problem is this. I was atheist before. I used to not believe in God and whatever. But one day I woke up and I'm just so much into God now. It's not even funny and I am worried because whenever I talk about God, people get like this, this guy's going cuckoo plus I always felt that at some point in my life, I'm going to get incarcerated in a loony place.

1:03:00 Drew Oh, really? Loony place?

1:03:01 Caller Yeah. Like my mom told me a couple of times that I'm, you know, if I'm going nuts or something.

1:03:07 Adam Are you doing speed?

1:03:08 Caller I'm very eccentric.

1:03:09 Adam Are you doing speed?

1:03:10 Caller I'm a musician.

1:03:11 Adam Antonio, are you doing speed?

1:03:13 Caller Yeah. Well, kind of.

1:03:16 Drew Oh, Loveline reenactment there. I found Jesus Christ. People think I'm going to be thrown in a loony bin.

1:03:24 Adam Antonio, are you doing speed?

1:03:26 Drew I play the bass fiddle.

1:03:28 Adam Are you doing speed?

1:03:28 Drew I'm very eccentric.

1:03:30 Adam Are you doing speed?

1:03:31 Drew My mother has accused me of being a male prostitute.

1:03:34 Adam Are you on speed?

1:03:35 Drew Oh, yes. How did Drew magically know Antonio was on speed? Hey, Antonio.

1:03:44 Caller What's up?

1:03:45 Adam This is a typical amphetamine psychosis. You probably also believe that your family and friends are thinking stuff about you.

1:03:51 Caller I get paranoid, but I have to deal with my paranoia.

1:03:54 Adam Antonio, it's all speed addiction, whole thing.

1:03:57 Caller Okay. Another thing.

1:03:59 Adam Except for that, let's go on.

1:04:00 Caller I have insomnia.

1:04:01 Adam Yeah. You're on speed, Antonio. This is all amphetamine addiction.

1:04:04 Caller I don't need this.

1:04:07 Adam You only have to do it three times a week to get addicted at this point. You will not sleep for a long time to come, as a matter of fact.

1:04:14 Caller What about before that? When I was a kid, I couldn't sleep and I was terrified of aliens. I don't know why. I remember like trying many times to my parents, you know, just like trying to get me to sleep and ever since.

1:04:27 Drew The aliens or the aliens or the Chupacabra?

1:04:30 Caller Aliens and Smurfs.

1:04:32 Drew Smurfs?

1:04:33 Caller Smurfs, yeah.

1:04:34 Drew What's your nationality?

1:04:35 Caller I am Mexican. I came from Mexico about 10 years ago.

1:04:39 Drew I see.

1:04:39 Caller Yeah.

1:04:41 Drew Well, wait a minute, you're not Mexican even though you're from Mexico, you're Latino-American.

1:04:45 Caller My family have Spanish and they went to Mexico and that's where they stayed and we came here.

1:04:51 Drew Hey, okay. Listen, stop doing the speed and then call us back, okay?

1:04:55 Adam In three months. That's a lot. It'll take to settle that down. He's got to get treated.

1:04:58 Drew Yeah.

1:04:59 Adam That will not stop.

1:05:00 Drew You know what I just thought about? You know how like I know we've gotten into this before, but like you're from Germany, you're German and you're from Sweden, you're Swedish, Japan, you're Japanese, but if you're Mexico, you're not Mexican. It's considered like insulting to call a guy Mexican.

1:05:16 Adam I don't think it is.

1:05:17 Drew Yeah. You got to be like a Mexican American or you're Latin American or you're Latino.

1:05:23 Adam Is that true?

1:05:24 Drew Oh, yeah. You can't call people Mexicans.

1:05:26 Adam Really?

1:05:27 Drew Yeah. But you know why?

1:05:29 Adam Well, if they're Americans, you don't call them Mexicans. That's the thing. No, but if you're from Mexico, they're Mexican.

1:05:34 Drew No, you still got to call them something else. If they come over here.

1:05:37 Adam I guess you don't say French Americans.

1:05:39 Drew No, you don't say French. You can't say Mexican. Now, here's why you can't say Mexican. Mexico's a dump. That's what they don't tell you. Because you can call a guy from Germany a German. You call a guy from France a French. But you can't call them Mexican Mexican.

1:05:53 Adam You've been down there lately. You stayed at that nice mansion in Puerto Vallarta.

1:05:57 Drew Yeah, that was nice. Yeah. You got enough money to throw around. But listen, I mean, come on, that place is, you know, they're trying to they're trying to enact the daylight savings over there and half the people aren't buying it. They think it's a government plot. I mean, come on, please. Andy?

1:06:15 Caller Yeah.

1:06:15 Drew You're 17.

1:06:16 Caller Yeah.

1:06:17 Drew What's up?

1:06:17 Caller Tonight. Terrible for you guys. They really call us a freaking moron.

1:06:21 Drew Well, let's keep our string alive.

1:06:23 Caller Yeah.

1:06:26 Caller No, about every every Sunday night, like before I go back to school, I can't get to sleep and I have anxiety attacks and everything. I've been diagnosed with mild anxiety and I have panic attacks and everything.

1:06:37 Adam Right.

1:06:39 Caller And I just can't get to sleep and I'm like really anxious. And sometimes whenever I have a panic attack, it usually occurs on a Sunday night. And I want to know if like Valium or anything could help that. I mean, I've been put on depakone effector for bipolar depression and everything.

1:06:56 Adam And are you on effector now? Yes. Could that be causing your panic attacks? I mean, effector can cause panic. Maybe it's just the effector.

1:07:06 Caller No, it happened before I was on it. And it's been about the same. And I thought that like one of the other could decrease them.

1:07:12 Adam Why don't they use something that specifically works on panic like Paxil?

1:07:18 Caller I don't know. He thought that the other drugs would do it for me.

1:07:22 Adam Why don't you go back and work on it? Because if you're on medication anyway for bipolar, they should be able to find a combination that's appropriate that will also control panic. But I'll tell you what, Sunday night is a typical time for people to get depressed.

1:07:34 Drew I used to get depressed every Sunday night.

1:07:36 Adam Yeah, me too.

1:07:37 Drew Every time. I always hated school. I never did my homework. It was always time to pay the fiddler Monday morning when I showed up empty handed. That was A number one. And then that spilled right on into construction, which I hated with an equal passion. And the notion of getting up Monday morning for a good long hot day of no pain, some hole somewhere was equally depressing. I must have had, I don't have it anymore. I haven't had it for like four or five years, the Sunday night depression, because I've been doing what I want to do.

1:08:11 Adam Well, you were here on Sunday nights.

1:08:12 Drew That's right.

1:08:13 Adam I've been doing this for like 20 years. I can't get depressed on Sunday.

1:08:16 Drew But I think I had, I mean, from the age, you know, first grade, six or seven years old, until I was about 30.

1:08:24 Adam Yeah, me too.

1:08:25 Drew Sunday Night Blues. Yeah.

1:08:27 Adam Awful. Awful.

1:08:29 Drew Yeah.

1:08:29 Adam I mean, I like, like, no, you know, it was like dread. Dread.

1:08:32 Drew Yeah.

1:08:32 Adam That was the feeling.

1:08:33 Drew Yeah, it was 20-something years of just sheer pain on a Sunday night. Vanessa? Yeah. Plus, they used to run that god-awful, Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom Sunday night, too, which was painful to watch.

1:08:45 Adam Yeah, and Disney.

1:08:46 Drew Marlon Perkins. Up in some tree somewhere, looking at a giraffe. Vanessa? Yeah. Yeah, Disney and Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. You're 19. What's up?

1:08:59 Caller Well, I noticed that I'm like two months pregnant, and I want to know if I can have an abortion. Is it too late to have an abortion?

1:09:06 Drew It's never too late to have an abortion.

1:09:08 Adam It's not.

1:09:10 Drew Even after the child is born.

1:09:12 Adam But I think you're well within range right now. But if it's something you're intending to do, you've got to talk to somebody about it.

1:09:17 Guest Oh, okay.

1:09:18 Adam Okay.

1:09:19 Drew All right, Vanessa.

1:09:20 Guest All right.

1:09:21 Drew All right. You can get on that tomorrow, right?

1:09:23 Guest Yes, I am.

1:09:24 Drew All right, sweet pea.

1:09:25 Guest Okay.

1:09:26 Drew Take care of yourself.

1:09:27 Guest All right. Thank you.

1:09:28 Drew All right. Don't worry, then. Child wasn't going to be president. Don't you worry about it. You know, what are the odds? You know what I'm saying? Listen, I was out at Lake Havasu this weekend. We could do with a lot less people. We really could. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Elaine, you're 22. What's up?

1:09:51 Guest My boyfriend just relapsed on coke yesterday. He had been sober for two and a half years. We're living together and we've been together for over a year. And I just don't know what to do. I don't know if he's going to keep using. Should I leave him?

1:10:09 Drew All right. We got to take a little break. But don't worry. Is he out of the house? Is he back?

1:10:15 Guest Well, he's at work right now. We're still together, like in the house together.

1:10:18 Drew Okay. As far as you know. Yeah. Hold on a second, Elaine. We'll take a break. We'll tell you what to do with the boyfriend who's relapsed on the coke after this.

1:10:29 Caller Yo, Loveline will be right back, homie.

1:11:12 Drew Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. When we left off, we were speaking to Elaine, his 22, boyfriend was sober for, I think, two and a half years, and now he just went off with the coke. Elaine, how'd you find out he went off?

1:11:28 Guest Well, he came home and he told me.

1:11:30 Drew Oh, that's nice.

1:11:31 Adam Is he gonna try to stop again?

1:11:33 Guest Did I try to stop again?

1:11:34 Adam Is he going to try to stop again?

1:11:35 Guest Well, yeah, that's what he says. And, I don't know, it's hard for me to believe. I'm really insecure about this. I feel really insecure.

1:11:43 Drew Why did he come home and tell you?

1:11:47 Guest Because I think he has, I mean, he was sober for two and a half years. He was clean for two and a half years, and he wanted to. And part of what is so, I don't understand, is that his drug was really speed. He used to.

1:12:03 Adam Well, stimulants are stimulants.

1:12:04 Guest Yeah. Well, he used to inject speed. And so.

1:12:08 Adam How was his recovery going before he relapsed? Was he going to meetings regularly? Did he have contact? Okay. All right. So he was already.

1:12:14 Drew I still want to know why he told you, did he show, was he missing for a day?

1:12:21 Guest He's normally home at this time, actually, which is making me really nervous. I didn't realize how late it was. Yeah, he usually comes home about 1130 or 12.

1:12:28 Drew Okay, hold on. Was he missing for?

1:12:31 Guest No. Well, like I said, he usually comes home at this time, and he didn't even like come home until like four. So was he missing a whole day? No.

1:12:39 Drew No. But the point is, is he came home at four and told you, here's what happened because he came home at four. He didn't come home at the usual time. And volunteer it to you.

1:12:49 Adam Elaine, as usual.

1:12:50 Drew Just making sure I still know human nature.

1:12:52 Adam The drug uses well down the sort of equation on a relapse. The fact that he wasn't going to a meeting is sort of getting back in his old patterns. That was the relapse already. The drug use is just sort of the final straw and all that. You must go to Al-Anon. He must go to program. This ain't going to work otherwise.

1:13:09 Drew All right. You go to Al-Anon.

1:13:11 Adam Yeah. You can't control him. You can't nag and you can't do anything. You can go to Al-Anon. And you can leave. And they clear you're going to leave if he doesn't do something with his end of the bargain.

1:13:20 Drew Listen everybody, consequences. Let me tell you something real fast. Consequences? Huge.

1:13:26 Adam It's everything.

1:13:27 Drew Huge.

1:13:28 Adam Oh, you can talk all day.

1:13:30 Drew Drew?

1:13:31 Adam Yeah.

1:13:32 Drew Remember, we had the world's worst picture of us floating around for many, many years, many years and I begged your publicist and I begged Stone Stanley, the producers of the TV show and I begged our management, Howard Lapita, for years to do something about it. And all those folks were so, well, I don't want to use the word impotent, but obviously they had no interest in doing things they weren't getting a percentage of or getting paid and no one did anything. And I yelled at everyone for years. And I mean, literally, a couple of years. They never would do anything, never anything, until one day when I'd been begging for them to get rid of the picture that we have on Talksoup, which is about five years old, the one that looks like a Drew's a retard and I'm some sort of a Macy's Day float. I finally saw that thing and I almost went nuts. And I said to everybody, here is the deal. Either that goddamn picture goes away or I don't come in to work. And if I see it again, I'm not coming in and that's it and I'm going somewhere and I'm not answering the phone. So if you don't see me, you'll know where I am and you'll know whose fault it is. I'm not going to tape talk soup and I'm not going to go out of my way to look for it. But if I spot it again, if I run across it, I will not show up for work and I'm not phoning anybody. I won't do it. And if you want to fire me, kiss my ass. I could care less. But I will, I swear to Christ, I will not be there. What happened? Magically, the next day or so it was taken care of, magically. And what happened here on Loveline? When we begged Westwood 2, the cheap bastards that they are, to provide a security guard for us. We begged them for years. They did nothing. Pay some idiot $7 an hour to fall asleep on the sofa out front for two hours a night. They couldn't pony that money up. Well, we got a bunch of death threats over at the TV show. And I said, listen, here's the deal. If I pull up to this dung heap you call a radio station, and I don't see a guy fallin asleep out front with a can of mace strapped to his leg, I will not get out of my car. I will continue driving. I will go home, and I will unplug the phone. And that will be that. So if you don't want to get a guard, fine. If you don't want to change the picture at TalkSoup, fine. But I'm going to keep driving. And magically, people do things. Unfortunately, it's unfortunate when you have to threaten people you work with to do their god damn job. But that's the nature of the beast, Drew. And that's how people work. And believe me, that's how it gets done. And it works the same with everything. Your boyfriend thinks you're leaving him, you're going to Allen On, you're not standing for his crap, you're kicking him out. It gets done.

1:16:27 Adam The problem for codependents is they have to mean it, and they have to be willing to follow through on it.

1:16:30 Drew That's right. That's right. The good news about me is I think people know I'm ready to follow through.

1:16:37 Adam Yeah, they know you don't want to be here in the first place.

1:16:39 Drew That's the ultimate trump card.

1:16:41 Adam So they're busy trying to keep you working.

1:16:42 Drew I'm looking for an excuse, yeah. Max, oh, I'm sorry, Shannon.

1:16:47 Caller Yeah?

1:16:47 Drew You're 17. What's up?

1:16:50 Caller See, here's the thing. Me and my boyfriend, well, first of all, for the first time last weekend, I let him perform anal sex, but I was fine with that. That didn't seem so bad. But the second, I'm fine after that word, but when we went back to having, I guess, you would say regular intercourse, we used a condom, which we never do.

1:17:16 Adam God forbid.

1:17:17 Drew Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

1:17:18 Caller No, I wasn't saying, but I'm just emphasizing that we never do it. We did it for the first time last Saturday, I believe. The next morning, I was kind of sore, I guess, and we went back and like five minutes later, after we woke up, we were having sex again. And when he first went in, it was really sore. And after we were doing it, I was pretty all right. I could feel a little pain, but it didn't bother me that much. But then it was bleeding and the rest of the day, I could barely walk. It was just really sore and I was bleeding. It was just terrible. And I wouldn't know if this had any connection to the condom.

1:17:57 Adam Well, where was the bleeding coming from? As though the lips were so chapped that you actually bled? Or was the bleeding from inside?

1:18:07 Caller The bleeding was from inside.

1:18:09 Drew And was there a lot of extra friction with the condom?

1:18:13 Caller No, not that I noticed. I mean, I was sore in the morning, but no, not really. I didn't like it didn't even bother me.

1:18:20 Drew What's this have to do with the anal sacs?

1:18:23 Caller I was just saying, I don't know if that's connected or if it's from the condom or what it's all about.

1:18:29 Adam Why am I so confused?

1:18:32 Drew She had anal sacs and then was it the next day you had the vaginal sacs?

1:18:37 Caller No, we had them both in the same night.

1:18:39 Drew Oh, the same night. And he put the condom on for the vaginal sacs, which he rarely uses.

1:18:45 Adam And then she seemed sore and to the point of maybe bleeding. Having bleeding during and after sex is not an uncommon thing. The uterus can be stimulated to bleed. And if somehow you became dry and there was a certain amount of friction, you can cause chafing to the point of some little bit of bleeding, I suppose.

1:19:00 Drew Well, listen, that whole area has been traumatized. I mean, it's just a war zone over there. You go with the anal, then you go with the vaginal, you're banging around. I mean, you know, all bets are off. There's been a lot of abuse going on down there. All right, let's speak to young Max.

1:19:21 Caller Yeah.

1:19:21 Drew Max, you're 20. What's up?

1:19:23 Caller Well, I got this girl that I like, but she's still in high school, and my friends don't approve of me wanting to date her.

1:19:31 Adam Can you understand why they wouldn't?

1:19:33 Caller Yeah. Well, I understand that, yes.

1:19:34 Caller Okay.

1:19:35 Drew What grade is she in?

1:19:36 Caller She's 11th.

1:19:38 Drew 11th grade?

1:19:39 Caller Yeah.

1:19:39 Drew All right. She's 16 years old?

1:19:42 Caller Yeah.

1:19:43 Drew 16.

1:19:43 Caller Yeah, she's 16 and I'm 20.

1:19:46 Adam It's not a good spread there.

1:19:48 Caller No, it's not.

1:19:48 Drew Is she going to be 17 soon?

1:19:52 Caller I think she's 17 in June.

1:19:54 Drew 17 in June.

1:19:55 Adam Again, this kind of stuff is on my mind because I just watched the movie Jailbait today. Yeah. This stuff happens when people engage in those relationships. It's there to protect the young person, these laws. Yeah. You should pay attention to them. There's a reason for it. There's also a reason your friends don't like this, a reason we don't trust it.

1:20:15 Drew Yeah.

1:20:15 Adam It's not good for the young person.

1:20:18 Drew All right. So, Max?

1:20:20 Caller Yeah.

1:20:20 Drew He really shouldn't dip down to high school.

1:20:24 Caller But I've known her for at least six years and we've been good friends.

1:20:29 Drew Even worse.

1:20:30 Adam She was 10.

1:20:31 Caller Huh?

1:20:31 Adam She was 10.

1:20:33 Caller No, no, no. Well, I know. It's just that we've known each other for a while.

1:20:37 Adam Yeah. He's like a sister now.

1:20:39 Caller No, not like that.

1:20:41 Drew Yeah. Well, listen. I've known my sister for quite some time and Drew, you've known your sister. I'd like to know Drew's sister a little better. The point is, is who cares that you've known her for a long time? I'm with Drew. It makes it worse. Yeah. What the hell? What do you mean you guys are great friends? You're 14. She's 10. What the hell are you talking about?

1:21:03 Caller Well, we knew each other since then.

1:21:05 Drew Okay.

1:21:05 Adam It makes it worse.

1:21:07 Drew Hey, listen, Max.

1:21:08 Caller Yeah.

1:21:09 Drew I know you're desperate, but you have to find someone your own age.

1:21:12 Caller It's not because I'm desperate.

1:21:14 Adam Of course it is.

1:21:14 Drew Yeah, it is. Listen, if you found a hottie who was 19, you'd shut the hell up.

1:21:19 Caller Then tell me where to find them.

1:21:20 Drew Well, there you go. There you go. Yeah. You got to go somewhere other than junior college.

1:21:26 Adam Do not prey upon the sort of vulnerable just because you can't maintain within your own peer bracket.

1:21:34 Drew Nice, peer bracket. Let me explain something. There's a lot of guys out there who have a lot of difficulty with women. A lot of guys. Yeah. There's a lot of women that have a lot of difficulty with men, and when they do find that one guy or that one girl that's interested, hey, that's a big deal. For women, it's like, sure, the guy is a two-time loser and he's in the joint right now, but he loves me. I mean, he's writing me letters. He likes me. Or, sure, he's married and has a couple of kids, but he's showing me affection, he's showing me attention. I mean, when you don't get stuff, you miss it and you want it, and you ain't going to let stuff go just because the person's married, just because they're in jail, just because they're a few years younger than I am and there's a little jail bait situation.

1:22:23 Adam The man's getting away.

1:22:25 Drew No, but no, when you're desperate, I mean, look at it this way.

1:22:28 Adam But you'll dream up excuses like that.

1:22:30 Drew Why is it that the beautiful, intelligent women never date guys who are in prison? You know what I mean? Don't have to. Plenty of guys coming after them. You never look at it that way. People hate to look at love that way, because it's so pathetic. That look of, hey, this is the only person I could get. And maybe you'll learn to love them, but that is the only person you could get. Max is not scoring with every 19 and 20-year-old in his neighborhood. And he's got a 16-year-old who likes him. What's he gonna do? Throw that away? How often does someone like Max? You think he's gonna squander this one? Know what I'm saying? All right. Absolutely. All right, we're gonna take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Lisa. Anti-depressants make her unable to orgasm. No, come on. Who else do we want to talk to? Girlfriend wants to have sex, but he thinks it's a big deal. What? Smoke pot for a year, but stop? Friend got mad at him for sticking up for her when he was harassed at school.

1:23:36 Adam See? See what I picked?

1:23:38 Drew Yeah.

1:23:38 Adam This one I picked has the word orgasm in it.

1:23:40 Drew All right. We'll take the orgasm call after this. Yep, this is the Loveline of Adam, that is Drew. Phone, I forget about the phone number. Hi, where were we here? Line 4, Drew? Lisa?

1:24:35 Caller Yes, hi.

1:24:36 Drew You're 24.

1:24:37 Caller Yeah, and actually, I have to admit, my name is Leslie. I was nervous that somebody would recognize me, but that's really stupid, so my name's Leslie.

1:24:44 Drew All right.

1:24:46 Adam What's going on, Leslie?

1:24:48 Caller Well, I've been on Selexa, an antidepressant, for about nine months. Yep. I went off of it for about two months ago and realized that it really changed my sex drive.

1:25:03 Adam That whole class will big time, particularly for women, it just shuts you down completely.

1:25:07 Caller Yeah, and it's unbelievable. When I wasn't on it, not only was I into sex so much more, but I masturbated more. In general, it's changed me 100 percent.

1:25:19 Adam All right.

1:25:20 Caller I was wondering what my options were.

1:25:21 Adam Well, the option is to add a medication like Welbutrin. Sometimes that will correct some of that decreased libido or grasmic function.

1:25:31 Drew Hornipin.

1:25:33 Adam These are the serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They're the ones that do that. And Selexa is one of the ones that's the least likely to do it. It's sort of a weaker version of the Prozac, Paxos, and whatnot. You can switch to Serizone. You can switch to Remeron. But probably they should think about Serizone or Welbutrin for you as maybe an alternative to what you're taking. All right. You can talk to the doctor about that.

1:25:52 Drew I just looked down at my little note, Tim the Russian Rapper.

1:25:56 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:25:57 Drew I think it's high time I dig that one out. Oh, yeah.

1:26:00 Adam Usually you wrap with that. I mean, you wrap up with that wrap.

1:26:04 Drew Oh, well, why make the kiddies wait? I want to say something, though. As I mentioned, I was in Lake Havasu, hanging out over the weekend doing a little man show bit. Yeah, good times. Ran into a lot of young, drunken folks I share no common interests with. But they came up to me and explained to me our roles. Which is-

1:26:31 Adam You're the funny guy.

1:26:36 Drew There's a couple of parts I do enjoy about this job. One is when I run into the drunk frat guy who explains what we both do on the show. Hey, dude, you know I like you, dude, because you make the jokes and Drew's like the medical dude. Drew's like with the medical and the serious, and he's like vaginismus and you should use protection. Then you, you're like with the comedy. You make the jokes. I'm always like, hold on, let me grab a scratch pad. This is-

1:27:13 Adam Wow, what insight.

1:27:14 Drew We're going to capture lightning in a bottle here. I wonder if this guy ran into like Pat Sajak and say, you like ask the questions in Vanna, she turns the letters, and that's what I like. Because you see, you- Yeah, that's it. That is exactly the way it works. I like that one. I get the, where's Dr. Drew constantly.

1:27:40 Adam Oh yeah.

1:27:41 Drew Constantly. I now just started giving answers like wherever, he's in the bathroom or he's over at the bar. I just, as if we traveled together. I get that one. But I really, I still do enjoy the explaining, the defining of the roles. I call it. All right. So we got a request for Tim the Russian Rapper. I've not done that quite some time, so I'll give a quick explanation. Tim is a very husky Russian kid that I met when I was involved with the Catholic Big Brother Program. He does not pronounce his name Tim. He pronounces it Team.

1:28:17 Adam I still can't believe they let you into that program.

1:28:19 Drew They're desperate.

1:28:20 Adam Yeah.

1:28:21 Drew Well, as I said, when I was interviewing to get in the Catholic Big Brother Program, which was, could have been about eight years ago now. They ask you a whole series of questions. And some of them are kind of probing, like, how many times a day do you think about sex and things like that?

1:28:39 Adam I was include small children.

1:28:41 Drew I was thinking about lying. And then I thought to myself, what the hell am I doing here? I mean, they don't pay any money. It's a pain in the ass. You got to take these kids out on the weekends and you got to buy them lunch and dinner or whatever. If you go to Magic Mountain or something, you're paying. And it's kind of a commitment. I don't even know what the hell I thought I was doing. But my point is, is I just decide not to lie during this thing because I said, screw it. If they don't want me, good. So I think they ask about drug use. And I gave a good answer. I think a very solid answer about pot, which was, I don't go out and buy it, but if I'm at a party and there's a joint going around, count me in. I also told them, I'm not Catholic, I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in that nonsense at all.

1:29:26 Adam But the atheist big brother doesn't quite have the same ring.

1:29:29 Drew Doesn't have the same ring. And number three, as far as thinking about sex, I told them three times a day. Sounded about right.

1:29:38 Adam Three times an hour.

1:29:39 Drew What am I going to tell them, 1,800? I mean, three times sounds about right. And to me, that's code for how much do you whack off, not thinking about sex. Oh, I see.

1:29:48 Adam I see. I see.

1:29:49 Drew You think they're asking that?

1:29:50 Adam Yeah.

1:29:51 Drew I don't know. I don't know. They cannot be asking about masturbation. But anyway, I was probably about three times a day back then, so that's what I was thinking.

1:29:57 Adam But you got Nate. What's Nate doing now?

1:29:58 Drew I don't know what Nate's doing. Nate owes me a phone call. He was my Catholic little brother, and he had a friend named Team.

1:30:08 Adam Who cleans your car now?

1:30:09 Drew His name was Tim. Oh, please. His name was Team, and he was this fat Russian kid. He was about 13, 14 years old at the time. Oh, jeez, he's probably in jail now. Jesus Christ, it was about five, six years ago. He's dead or in jail. Anyway, he loved rap music. That was his thing. He loved Dr. Dre and NWA and all that hard stuff, and he would rap along. When I'd pick the kids up, he'd put a cassette, pop a cassette in my car, and he'd sit in the back seat and rap along. So I'm going to give it to you now.

1:30:38 Adam Is Andy ready for this? Yeah.

1:30:40 Drew Yeah, I'll be careful. Yeah. Yeah, I'll edit myself, I think. Thank you. All right. I'm going to start with, I got the bag hand like John McEnroe. That beach steps up, I'm smacking the hole. That was his first rap.

1:30:55 Adam That's House of Pain, isn't it?

1:30:56 Drew I think so, yeah. His second, even better one was, Beaches ain't ass but hoes and tricks. Soak on these balls and leak on these dee.

1:31:12 Adam Can you say it?

1:31:13 Drew There we go. That's fine. Yeah, that was good. Thank God we took a nice kid from the Russian countryside and filled them with hoes and tricks and bitches. And this kid was great. I mean, we'd be at the beach and he'd be like, we should score some hoes.

1:31:30 Adam What'd he look like?

1:31:31 Drew He was pasty white and 5'4, about 2'35, 2'40. He was about 14 years old. Looked like he had a thyroid condition, you know? And he was like, that is so dope. That beach is dope. It was great. It was great. The greatest moment I had with the team is when I was driving him and Nate to Magic Mountain after a team had just got done spilling a 72-ounce Super Tanker 7-Eleven drink in my car, you know? Like, you know, filled it. We just stopped suddenly. He topped this thing off. I mean, he had to use a hand truck to get it out to the car. Just set it down and just toppled the thing right on the floor mats there. I mean, it was actually flooded. It flooded my car. It was like a Champ Aquatic, you know? But those guys were lamenting about the chicks hating them at school. They were in 9th or 10th grade. Nate was as skinny as a bean pole. He was all like nose and hair, you know? He probably looked like what Dr. Bruce looked like at 14. You know, and Tim was just one big sack of lard, you know? And I was trying to be encouraging to the boys, and I said, listen, you know, next year you'll be sophomores. You'll get all those, that new crop of freshmen will really go in for you. Tim piped up and he goes, who are you kidding? Nate is too skinny and I'm too fat. And I was like, yeah, that is true. Yeah, you're right. You guys have a life of hell and misery to look forward to. As a matter of fact, you better just go gay now. Angel?

1:33:14 Adam Yeah.

1:33:14 Drew You're 20.

1:33:15 Caller Yes.

1:33:16 Drew You're too skinny and I'm too fat.

1:33:19 Adam What's going on, Angel?

1:33:21 Caller Well, my friend and I are both on the phone right now.

1:33:24 Adam Yeah.

1:33:24 Caller We're both bisexual and we're dating, but we also have boyfriends and our boyfriends have a big problem with it. Yeah.

1:33:31 Adam Does that surprise you?

1:33:33 Caller No, they knew we were like that before.

1:33:36 Caller We were together before we were even with them.

1:33:38 Drew Angel, what's your friend's name?

1:33:40 Caller Amber.

1:33:41 Drew Amber. All right. Hold on a second. Reason 122 to name your girl Angel.

1:33:48 Adam Angel and Amber.

1:33:49 Drew Okay.

1:33:49 Adam You wrote down anger, interestingly.

1:33:51 Drew Yeah. Well, I was making a hype right out of the two. All right, ladies. So why are you guys so chaotic?

1:33:58 Caller Well, I mean, you know, we always figured that was like, you know, a guy's ultimate fantasy is to be in the threesome.

1:34:04 Drew Yeah, they claim it is, but they don't like their girlfriends kind of out playing around.

1:34:10 Caller Uh-huh.

1:34:11 Adam And young guys believe threesomes is a great thing. The fantasy is far different than reality. And that's not what you're talking about. You're talking about trying to maintain relationships with two different people.

1:34:19 Caller Well, we had complained to them before how we were.

1:34:21 Adam Before you started, before you started, before you started dating?

1:34:25 Caller Yeah, we explained it to them, and they seemed cool with it and everything.

1:34:28 Drew Well, listen, everyone's cool with everything at the beginning. Are you, so are you two having a sexual affair?

1:34:34 Caller Yeah, of course.

1:34:35 Adam It's like a guy dating a stripper.

1:34:36 Drew Now, and, yes, yeah, it's real cool, but once you get going, you immediately want them to quit. So you guys are having a physical relationship, you and Amber, right, Angel?

1:34:46 Adam Yes.

1:34:47 Drew And how long did that go on? How long has it been going on?

1:34:50 Caller For like six months.

1:34:51 Drew Yeah. And why do you guys need boyfriends if you like each other so much?

1:34:57 Caller Well, we just wanted to date guys, because with acid drugs, we were more attracted to men also.

1:35:03 Adam Dating doesn't mean you have to have a boyfriend.

1:35:06 Drew Well, now what if, so what if you invited one of those, one of the guys in with the two of you, what would he say?

1:35:12 Caller They'd freak out.

1:35:14 Drew They wouldn't want to do it?

1:35:15 Caller We've already tried that.

1:35:16 Adam It's too late.

1:35:16 Drew They say no, huh?

1:35:17 Adam Too late.

1:35:18 Drew Both of them say no, huh? Yeah. Oh, you found two gay guys. Interesting. I know. All right. Listen, these aren't the right guys for your hectic sexual schedule. Yeah.

1:35:30 Adam It's not a good situation.

1:35:30 Drew Your hectic vaginal schedule.

1:35:32 Adam You guys are going to have a lot of trouble ahead. A lot of problems.

1:35:35 Drew All right. Listen, chaos twins, don't get pregnant, have your kicks, and then forget this ever happened. All right. We'll be back.

1:35:43 Caller Let's have some more fun. Okay.

1:35:45 Caller Let's do it.

1:35:47 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:51 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:36:31 Drew I'm gonna take a little extended break. We'll be back tomorrow night to be with all you great folks. So just the love that we find between the two hosts. Until next time, Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. We should score some hoes. Well now.

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Sunday, April 9, 2000