Episode 1000754887225

2:31 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

2:34 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

2:38 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

2:39 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:42 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:44 Voiceover Loveline.

2:46 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. It's nice. Someone took my mic cord and tied it in a goddamn knot. All right, hey, that was you, Anderson? Why do you do that, Anderson? Okay. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, Nick Hexum is here from 311. There you go. Nick and his mates, the rest of 311, have themselves, let's see, who's the summer tour with? Incubus and, oh, Jesus, Japan. Wow. We don't have any listeners who are currently in Japan, do we, Drew?

3:32 Drew Not right at this moment.

3:33 Adam So I'm not going to plug that too much, but I will give you some dates where Nick 311 and Incubus are going to be later on. And I guess, I was telling Drew, I haven't seen you guys in four years last night, but then he said six months, and I went, all right, yeah, it sounds about, it was right after the Acoustic Christmas, right?

3:55 311 Yeah, I believe it was right around the end.

3:57 Adam All right, do you remember what we talked about?

4:00 311 Yeah. You want a rundown?

4:04 Adam Well, we're probably talking about the upcoming tour that you just finished, right?

4:12 311 I don't know, I think we got our dates a little mixed up. Really, I mean, why would I have done it after the tour and after the...

4:18 Adam No, it was the spring tour. You had the day off there? Yeah. Yeah, you were...

4:23 Drew You were talking about what was going to happen, but it has just been concluded.

4:26 Adam Yeah. Right, right. All right, we're off to kind of a rocky start here, Drew, but I think we're going to bounce back.

4:32 Drew I blame you.

4:33 Adam Oh, I blame you too. Yeah. SoundSystem is the name of the CD that's currently out, by the way, and we'll hear something off of that. We'll take some phone calls and play the rest by ear. What do you say?

4:46 311 Sounds good to me.

4:48 Adam John?

4:49 Hello?

4:50 Adam You're 13?

4:51 Caller Yeah.

4:51 Adam Yeah.

4:52 Caller I just want to say that, like, you are awesome.

4:55 Adam Me?

4:56 Caller Yeah, you.

4:56 Adam All right.

4:57 Caller You're like the funniest man alive.

4:59 Adam Well, that's true, yeah.

5:01 Caller When I masturbate, or, I guess, jack off, I use shampoo as lubricant.

5:07 Drew You know the difference between masturbating and jacking off?

5:10 I don't know.

5:11 Caller I always thought masturbating meant, like, to play with it, and jacking off was like, you know, go up and down.

5:16 Adam No. No. You know what the difference between masturbation and jacking off is?

5:20 Drew You never use the term jacking off after the age of about 15.

5:22 Adam It is the, I do, but it's the same difference as the difference between a sofa and a couch. Yeah. Right. Which is nothing.

5:31 Drew There was no difference, John.

5:32 Adam There you go. All right, John, you use a shampoo. Yeah. And how many times have you heard me on the air warn kids about using shampoo for lubricant?

5:41 Drew Who is a PSA in this?

5:43 Adam There really is. Yeah. I hope you didn't use Prowl. I made that mistake once as a youth.

5:49 Caller And I don't even know what kind I use. I just kind of use it.

5:52 Adam All right. So.

5:53 Caller So like after I do this, about a few days after I use it. Well, first of all, it starts to sting. And then like the skin just starts peeling off.

6:01 Adam Yeah. Well, you got to use more. You're not using enough, obviously. Do you. But. But even though your penis is peeling, do you find that your pubic hair is healthy, bouncy and manageable?

6:12 Caller It like starts to itch.

6:14 Adam Oh, I see. Starts to itch.

6:16 Drew Yeah.

6:16 Adam OK.

6:17 311 Try cream rinse. Try the conditioner and see how it's much.

6:20 Drew Much smoother. You're just causing a dermatitis.

6:22 Adam It has balsam and emollients. All right.

6:26 Drew Yeah. It's not a big deal, but you could cause sort of a burn basically.

6:30 Adam Hey, Nick, just because we're not going to be there to watch over you in the future, you put the shampoo on your penis, you had some chafing, some burning and some itching. Then you went right back to the well. That doesn't sound like a great plan. You know what I'm saying?

6:49 Drew He's not following.

6:51 Adam John?

6:52 Drew Hello?

6:52 Adam John, if you put...

6:53 311 Oh, you said Nick.

6:54 Adam Oh, I'm sorry, John. Sorry, Nick.

6:56 311 I'm cool on that. Thanks anyway.

6:57 Adam You worked that out many years ago. John?

7:00 Caller Yeah?

7:01 Adam If you put something on your penis that burns, don't put it on anymore. Okay?

7:06 Caller All right.

7:06 Adam All right.

7:07 Drew Rest your life. Now on.

7:09 Adam You know those skateboarding helmets, John?

7:11 Caller Yeah.

7:12 Adam I like to see you wearing one all the time. Do you know what I'm saying?

7:15 Caller Yeah.

7:15 Adam Yeah, you never play it too safe. You know, you go under the sink to get something, your mom calls you, you get up real quick and you whack your head on a pipe or something. It can be very dangerous. All right. Charlotte.

7:30 Hi.

7:30 Adam Hey, you're 16. What's up?

7:32 Caller Hi. I want to say hi to Nick.

7:34 311 Hi.

7:35 Caller Hi. I'm like so in love with you. I've been in love with you since like sixth grade. I was going through like serious depression and my friend sold me your Blue Sea and I love it. It inspired me. It like teared me up and I now play guitar and I started my own business.

7:51 311 Awesome.

7:52 Caller You guys are like big influence in life.

7:54 311 Thanks. I'm really glad to hear that. Are you feeling better these days?

7:58 Caller Yes, I am. I'm very happy. Wow.

8:00 Drew Good.

8:00 Caller Not recently, I've had two boyfriends dump me because I wouldn't tell them I loved them because I loved you.

8:05 Drew Oh.

8:07 311 You don't actually love me like that. Like you could love a boyfriend because we haven't met.

8:12 Caller I know. But still, it's just, I don't know. It's a stupid infatuation.

8:18 311 It's really sweet though.

8:19 Drew It's not a stupid infatuation. It's okay to have infatuations, but to the extent that they sort of derail you from a real life, you can get in the way a little bit.

8:27 Adam Yeah.

8:28 311 Now, you sound really young, right? How old are you? 16. 16.

8:31 Adam Hey, listen, Charlotte, I was talking about this last night. Just go ahead and say I love you. It's easy. I mean, you know, it's weird. It's really weird though. Like when you're younger, you think like you have one, maybe two, you can use up in a lifetime. Remember, it's like you're 19, you're with some chick, it's been six months, you're getting it on, you just finished, you're mopping off, and she's like, I love you, and you're like, and it's like, hey, you're monogamous, you're with her, you guys are thinking about moving in, but what do you do? You don't say it, you screw yourself over. Someone should just say, hey, hey, Hole, you could say it twice in your life, you could say it 250 times. It doesn't matter. It's gonna make it easier on you.

9:12 Drew There's so much idealization of fantasy and people stick into those relationships. The perfect one's gonna come and that's what I'm saving it for.

9:19 Adam And maybe you're right, but just say you love them anyway. Save yourself some hassle.

9:23 311 No, but Charlotte, on the other hand, that's pretty commendable that you were honest with them and didn't kind of bow down to the pressures.

9:29 Drew And that's an interesting point. Sometimes these fantasy relationships with sort of media objects keep you out of relationships you're really not ready for.

9:37 Adam Right. Oh, like Nick. That's right. Nick, the media object. Nick? Not that Nick. Call her Nick.

9:45 Yes, that's caller Nick.

9:47 Adam I'm going to call you Nicholas.

9:48 All right.

9:49 Adam All right, Nicholas, you're 20 years old. What's up?

9:51 Caller Well, my girlfriend's got vaginal secretions that are coming out that smell. And I mean, we've been together for five years.

9:59 Adam But it makes her easy to find, right?

10:02 Caller Oh, yeah.

10:02 Adam When you're at the mall and stuff. Well, yeah, but I think she's in the B Dalton. Yeah. And then the guy at the counter is going, Oh, yeah.

10:11 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

10:12 Adam She's back there. Yeah.

10:13 Caller It's beginning to be a problem, though. I mean, I'm afraid to like talk to her because I don't, you know, I don't want to embarrass her because like sometimes we'll wake up in the morning and like the bed will be kind of wet. And it's not she didn't wet the bed. It's just that it's the secretions. And I just don't, you know, I don't know if I should, you know, confront her because I don't want to feel embarrassed about it.

10:31 Drew That, you know, I've why confront? Why not just say, hey, I noticed this. Why not have a doctor check it out? It can be a sign of a vaginal infection.

10:38 Caller Well, that's the thing is, I'm worried. And I mean, if I'm because I mean, I I have sex with her and, you know, and I don't want to.

10:44 Drew Why don't you take that caring perspective that you want to get this looked into? And maybe it's just her. Some women just do that.

10:49 Caller Oh, yeah. And see, I mean, I proposed to her like a week ago. And so, you know, this is a nice follow up discussion. What's that?

10:56 Drew Nice follow up discussion. Honey, what should we have for the flowers of photography?

11:00 Adam And, by the way, you're leaking. Your soul's coming out your vagina.

11:05 Caller Yeah, and it smells. And I mean, the only time it's been rough.

11:08 Adam Did you get down on one knee when you proposed?

11:11 Caller Yeah.

11:11 Adam Yeah. Could have knocked you out.

11:14 Caller In Fort Collins, in a restaurant, I proposed to her, you know, and no big deal. But I mean, I just I don't know if I should do something, you know, if I should just confer to her like, hey, go to a doctor, you know, it's not going to be easy.

11:26 Drew It's not going to be easy, but don't confront. Let her know that you are concerned.

11:30 Adam Why not have an intervention?

11:31 Drew Yeah.

11:32 Adam Your crotch smells intervention.

11:33 Drew Make sure you get her employer in.

11:34 Adam Faculty. Yeah. Like our old gym coach, English professor, people like that. People she knows, people she'd be embarrassed in front of.

11:42 Caller Well, see, the thing is, I mean, I've gone down on her before and it doesn't, it doesn't smell then, you know, it doesn't.

11:47 Adam Because you're in the eye of the hurricane. There's a certain calm. You know what I mean? It's like, I get the feeling, I think, tell me if I'm wrong here, Drew, but you know, you walk in when someone's crapped up the bathroom, you open the door, that's the worst place you're going to be. But if you actually stuff your head into the toilet, I don't believe it's as bad as when you just open the door. Now, I'm not suggesting you stuff your head into the toilet, but you know what I mean? Sometimes you can actually push past it and get to the other side of it.

12:14 Drew Just prove positive of the second law of thermodynamics.

12:17 Adam There you go. Michelle?

12:20 Oh, hi.

12:21 Adam Hey, you're 21.

12:22 Caller Oh my god, I can't believe Kate and Nick. I love you. Oh, well, I don't.

12:26 I mean, I love, oh, I idol you.

12:28 Caller I envy you.

12:30 311 Thank you. That's really sweet.

12:31 Caller You are the sexiest man alive.

12:33 Adam He is hot.

12:35 Caller He is so.

12:36 I just saw you play.

12:38 Caller I just saw you play at Saltair, and that was a way good show.

12:41 311 Salt Lake City.

12:42 Yeah, oh my god.

12:43 311 I had fun that night. Great crowds there all the time.

12:46 Oh my gosh.

12:47 Caller Okay, I am, I cannot believe I'm talking to you.

12:50 Oh, hi.

12:52 Caller This is incredible.

12:52 311 We're really not talking. What do we want to talk about?

12:54 Caller Okay, well, it just made me mad, because I heard all this stuff about, you know, all those rumors about your name being KKK, and just all that stuff. I just thought you should get a chance to stay out there. That's not true, because.

13:11 311 That's a good idea.

13:13 Adam Hold on, pull the hood off.

13:14 311 You can't.

13:15 Adam It's getting away the mic.

13:16 311 No, it's a good point that we really are kind of, you know, looking for opportunities to say how we feel about, you know, that whole issue. And it's ironic that a band that has always been outspoken about, you know, unity from, you know, different walks of life and being tolerant and being accepting would happen to be the band that gets, you know, this racist rumor put on us. People think that our name stands for KKK. You know about this? No.

13:48 Adam I've heard about this. Yeah. And somebody did the math, some kind of math. But how's the math work?

13:55 311 No, it's just that the 11th letter is K.

13:57 Adam There, that's the math.

13:58 311 311, 3K. So it was just an unfortunate coincidence. But, you know, we take out a, to kind of let people know how we really feel about these things, we take out a representative from the Museum of Tolerance here in LA.

14:13 Adam Oh, I hate that place. Why? It's a little joke. It's the Museum of Tolerance, Drew.

14:19 311 I can't stand it.

14:21 Adam Oh, no.

14:22 311 No, it's a really great organization. And he, you know, passes out literature and sells shirts and stuff just to raise awareness about, you know, being more accepting and what constitutes a bigot. And, you know, we try and do things in our career that make it so we're not just a business, we're doing things that, you know, make us feel like we're making a little bit of a difference.

14:43 Drew What does 311 stand for?

14:45 311 It was the police code for indecent exposure in Omaha, where we grew up, and one of our friends got arrested for it and was brought home to his mom in handcuffs, naked. And it was just a funny little story because the police code on the ticket, the number for the crime, was 311.

15:02 Adam And it also means Satan's minion. Yeah, the Museum of Tolerance is the exit we get off.

15:10 Drew Yes.

15:10 Adam That's how I know when I'm, when I pass it, that's our exit. Every night I get off the 10 freeway right at the Museum of Tolerance. I keep meaning to go by there, but I can't figure out what's in it for me. I mean, I'm sure I'd learn something, but it just doesn't sound fun. I want to go by that automotive. Is there an automotive Museum of Tolerance? If you could combine something that was exciting with something that was educational, I'd be there. That's the problem with museums. It's all education and no excitement. All right. Plus I think it's like eight bucks to get in that place. It's not cheap for tolerance. All right. Shelly.

15:49 Yeah.

15:49 Adam You're 18?

15:50 Caller Yes, I am.

15:51 Adam What's up?

15:52 Caller First, I want to say hi to Nick.

15:54 311 Hi there, Shelly.

15:55 Caller You guys are great.

15:56 311 Thank you.

15:57 Caller One thing I just want to let you know, what you probably do already know, is that you have brought a lot of people together from like all over the United States. I have friends in Ohio named Angela and I have a friend in Mark in LA. You guys have done great.

16:11 311 That's awesome. That's really cool.

16:12 And even if you break up, you guys will live on forever.

16:16 311 Well, we're not breaking up, so. But thank you. Yeah, that's really nice to hear.

16:21 Adam Shelly, what's up? Speaking of breaking up, what's up with your line? Is that you?

16:25 Caller My line?

16:26 Drew Your phone line.

16:27 Adam Yeah, it sounds a little crackly.

16:28 Caller It could be. I'm on a cell phone.

16:29 Adam All right. Well, hold on a second. Let's see if we can, I can read her question and then put her on holds. We don't have to hear that. Best friend's boyfriend flirts with her and touches her breasts. She wants to know how to tell the friend. Should she really tell the friend or should she just sort of tell the guy?

16:45 Drew It would never be along with the guy. Tell the guy in no uncertain terms that she won't tolerate this and that she would tell the friend. But I think the friend needs to be sort of put on notice by somebody. What kind of guy she's dating.

16:56 Adam All right. Let me just see if the phone line's cleared up.

16:59 Caller Yeah.

17:00 Adam Yeah. What do you mean he touches your breasts?

17:02 Caller Okay. Well, I mean, it's a long story, but to make a long story short, my friend was going out with him for about a year and a half, and one night, we were all partying in my brother's room, and he was floating in the air. And then at the end of the night, it came down, and she was gone, and somehow, it ended up that I was on the bed with him, and all of a sudden, his hand ended up in my shirt, and I froze. I mean, I know you've heard this before. I froze. I didn't know how to get out of it. So thank God, he had to go to the bathroom, and he was living in my house. He was my roommate.

17:30 311 What?

17:31 Caller Yeah, he was my roommate.

17:32 311 Somehow, his hand just wound up there.

17:34 Adam I mean, you guys wound up on the bed together, and he had to take a leak, which is a weird...

17:41 Drew Code for something.

17:42 Adam Yeah.

17:42 Caller And what's worse is that my brother and him were sharing the same room, and my brother was on the other bed, but the music was loud, so my brother couldn't hear.

17:50 Adam Hear him put his hand up your top or hear him take a leak?

17:53 Caller No. He put his hand up my shirt, and then two minutes after that, he's like, I'll go back out of the bathroom, like, thank God. So he went to the bathroom.

18:01 311 Was he just sitting there for two minutes?

18:03 Caller No. He went in, did his stuff, and came right back out, and I met him at the door going back inside the house, and I said, I'm going to bed. I'm kind of tired. And he's like, okay. And he tried to kiss me, and I turned my cheek, and he kissed me on my cheek instead.

18:17 Adam Did he go to the bathroom outside the house?

18:19 Caller Oh, good question. I don't know. I don't think so.

18:21 Adam He said you met him at the door coming back in the house. All right. Hey, Shelley, let me tell you something. Too many of you screw balls under one roof. It's a recipe for disaster. It really is. This happens all the time. You got the brother, you got the roommate, you got the sister. What is that? Yeah. Well, listen, everybody. Let me take just a second and talk to people who are poor, because I was poor my entire life. And I'm not talking about 19 or 20. I was piss-poor to 30, 31. Now, I'm a millionaire. Literally. Literally a millionaire. But the point is, is I was poor for a long time. And here's the thing about poor people. It's not that you don't have any money. It's you have a little bit of money. And you have to pick and choose where you spend that money. And let me give you a couple of tips. First and foremost, your phone. I always had a bunch of roommates, but I always had my own phone. And I was always piss-poor. But for 12 bucks a month, you get that Lifeline thing, it is the best thing you're ever gonna do. It really is. I was always signed up for that loser discount. Hey, this guy hasn't quite finished high school discount they had. But really, you gotta pay your own phone bill anyway. Drew, it's so rude of you to check your watch when I'm in the middle of a rant.

19:43 311 You see how this comes into play about the boob grabbing, right?

19:46 Adam Yes, I'm gonna get around to that. It is the same with your accommodations. Get a roommate, get a girl you can trust, move into a one bedroom apartment. One of you sleeps on the fold out sofa in the living room, the other one gets the bedroom, you switch off, whatever, 500 bucks a month, you each pay 250. You can afford it, believe me. Don't live like animals with five serial rapists and some guy who calls himself your uncle in the same place while someone's cooking up meth in the garage because you save 27 bucks a month. Meanwhile, the place is being raided by the SWAT team every other week. You know what I mean? You got enough money, you can get your own ass together. All right. Thank you very much.

20:31 311 But in the short term, you gotta just tell, if the guy's still hitting on you, then you just gotta tell him what's up.

20:35 Adam Yeah. And definitely don't roll around on the bed with him. And, furthermore, if I was a girl living in this situation, I'd put one of those barrel bolts on my door.

20:45 Drew Barrel bolts? And then draw that line down the middle of the room, too.

20:48 Adam Yeah, like the sitcoms from the 70s. No, seriously, I'd put a lock on my bedroom door, because this guy could come home loaded one night and stumble right on in. And if you're gonna freeze when he touches you, God knows what he's gonna do to you before you unfreeze. I wish more women would freeze when I touch them. They have no problem. They don't freeze at all. They're like, hey, get away. Yeah, they kick. Chris?

21:11 Yeah.

21:11 Adam You're 15.

21:12 Caller Yep.

21:12 Adam What's up?

21:14 Caller First I wanna say I can fart on command.

21:16 Adam Really?

21:17 Caller Yeah.

21:17 Adam Who's command?

21:19 Caller Anyone.

21:19 Adam Oh, I see.

21:20 311 So fart.

21:21 Caller Okay, hold on.

21:22 Adam All right. Apparently, I heard something in the distance. He's one of those. Yeah. You get that? Oh, yes. Did we hear it? The neighbors heard it.

21:40 Drew The nation heard it. What are you talking about?

21:42 Adam God heard it. Your dead grandmother heard that one.

21:44 311 Fart heard around the world.

21:46 Adam That's right. Hey, Chris, that's pretty good.

21:49 Caller Yeah.

21:50 Adam I didn't know how many people had this gift until I got onto the show.

21:53 311 Your parents must be proud.

21:55 Caller I can do the same thing with my burps.

21:57 Adam Well, that's a layup, but the gas is what I'm most interested in.

22:01 Caller Okay.

22:02 Adam That's very nice. All right. Do you have something else for us?

22:06 Caller Yeah, I got a question.

22:07 Adam All right.

22:08 Caller Does masturbating make my penis get bigger?

22:10 Adam Ask it in the form of a fart, please.

22:12 Drew No. No, it doesn't.

22:15 Adam No, it does not. I wouldn't have been able to make it into this studio if that was true. I'm 35. I have 20 years under my belt, pardon the pun, and I can tell you, as a matter of fact, I think I've eroded my penis. I think it's smaller than it would have been.

22:30 Drew Sharpened it.

22:31 Adam I'm convinced. Yeah. Well, I mean, like anything in nature, glaciers, streams, cutting canyons. I mean, eventually, that kind of constant friction will wear something down. I mean, even granite gets worn down.

22:48 Drew It gets smoother and rounded. Were you pointy in the-

22:52 Adam I was jagged.

22:52 Drew I was jagged to start with.

22:53 Adam Yeah. I had to wear a gardening glove for my first couple of years because my penis was so sharp. It had a lot of shards and barbs on it and whatnot. All right. Sean.

23:07 Drew When we get back.

23:08 Adam Oh, Sean, when we get back? Yeah. All right. His penis popped during sex.

23:13 Drew Popped?

23:14 Adam Felt like he was cracking a knuckle.

23:15 Drew Oh, I see.

23:15 Adam I know that. I've done that. I used to be able to do that. All right. Nick Hexum is here from 311. We're going to hear something from 311. We'll also speak to Sean with his amazing popping penis after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We don't need the facts. Nick Hexum is here from 311. Soundsystem's the name of the CD. We're going to hear something off of that CD. I think we'll hear something called the Flowing, but I think what we're gonna do is we're gonna speak to Sean first, and then we'll hear some 311. Sean, you're 21? Your penis popped, huh?

24:35 Caller Yeah, it was weird.

24:36 Caller It was really weird.

24:37 Drew Whenever somebody says that, I'm always hoping they don't mean exploded.

24:40 Caller No, it's like cracking my knuckles almost.

24:43 Drew Well, that's a normal thing. There's a ligament there that can pop, that can crack just like a knuckle.

24:49 Caller Really?

24:51 311 Was it when you like...

24:52 Caller It's the only time it's ever happened and it's never happened again.

24:56 311 Was it when you kind of missed and you kind of jammed it or like...

24:59 Drew No, it's more of a pushing down thing.

25:01 Adam Yeah, well, I can miss. I mean, the same thing. But here's the deal. Well, let's say my feet are... You got to go down like that and it'll pop eventually. You got to have a good erection. You got to have a good one. You know what I mean?

25:13 Drew I was supposed to... The naughty ones.

25:15 Adam Well, no. Here's... No, here's... Well, the balls know who's been naughty and who's been nice, as the song goes. Here's how it works. I used to be able to do this. I can't do it anymore. I think it has sort of combined with me losing the will to live, but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with it or not. But if you fall asleep all night with an erection, and you're young and you have that erection going all night, and you wake up the next morning, that is prime poppin hour. You push it down, and it'll pop. Lift it up, go right to left, nothing. But down, and it'll get to the point where it's starting to hurt a little, and then you push it just another quarter inch, crack.

25:53 311 Oh, it sounds terrible.

25:57 Adam Really, it's not bad. You ought to try it.

26:00 Drew Let's talk to Noelle before we go to the song. She has a question about the song.

26:04 Adam Okay. Noelle?

26:05 Caller Hi.

26:05 Adam What's up?

26:06 Caller I want to say quickly, Adam, Drew, I love you guys, long time listener.

26:10 Adam Thanks.

26:10 Caller And Nick, long time listener as well.

26:12 Caller Cool.

26:13 Caller Thank you. Anyways, I just wanted to say, first of all, my first question, I have two questions, if that's okay, please.

26:20 Adam All right, hurry.

26:21 Caller Okay. First question is, Flowing, what's that about? And the other question is, well, it's not really a question, just a comment. We want to see you in the Palladium on Monday. You guys are great. And I just wanted to let you know, like, when you were leaving and people were mobbing you, we thought that was wrong. We were the people screaming, leave them alone. So just thought I would let you know that too. So again, I'll go back to my first question, Flowing, I wanted to know what that video was about, or about that song, actually. I don't really care about the video, but the song.

26:47 311 The video and the topic of the lyrics don't really connect. Exactly. It was more the video is the, is Marco Siega, the video director's interpretation. And the song, cause the video is about, like, what's that, when you fall asleep all over the place, just for no reason. Yes, thank you. I just had a blank there. But anyway, the song is about insomnia, which, you know, is something that I was going through at the time of writing that, where I would, I would get to sleep at, like, fairly early. I'm more of, like, a morning person. I would get to sleep at, like, 11 at night, and then I would wake up at 3, and that was it. And so it was just kind of about the feeling of, of, you know, trying to get back to sleep and feeling pretty alone when you're, when you're going through that. And so I would just kind of get up and go to the studio at 3 in the morning and make music. And it's, you know, there was other things going on in my life at that time that were kind of probably contributing to my, what I call my mind spins, when I just cannot, you know, relax. And so it hasn't been a problem lately, but that's what it's about.

27:58 Oh, cool. Thank you.

27:59 311 And thanks for, you know, trying to get them to leave me alone. I was back in that parking lot at the Palladium. It was, it was hell. It was like, it was, it was like, people were screaming at me from every direction.

28:08 Adam We were driving in your own car, and they spotted you.

28:11 311 Yeah.

28:12 Adam And, uh, yeah.

28:13 311 There was just like 100 people around me trying to take pictures and...

28:16 Adam You don't want to run them over. But that's in the first, that's in the first five minutes. After that, you get over it pretty quick. I told you we were in Santa Barbara doing something a few months ago. Well, we did our lecture in Santa Barbara. And after that, me and Jimmy went to some like frat party in a van and we got mobbed in some street. And it was just a bunch of drunk frat guys and people. And it's just sort of mob mentality, which is half the people didn't even know who we were, didn't care. But since everyone else did, they just piled on and they were like rocking the van and banging on the window. And for the first like five minutes, I was telling the driver, oh, easy, easy, because it's a sort of a watch for toes. There's a lot of human beings in front of the van. But about five minutes in, I was like, hey, punch it. Take out some of these pukes. Hey, we got to teach them a lesson. This is Darwinism, by the way. If you're going to stand in front of a 4,000-pound van and bang on the windshield and try to antagonize the guy who's high and has his foot on the accelerator and you get taken out, that's all right with me. You don't need to see what your kids are going to turn out to be. All right, so this is 311, and this is the song we're talking about, Flowing.

32:36 Drew Yeah, that goes next.

32:40 311 The studio audience.

32:40 Adam That is 311, that is off of SoundSystem. Nick Hexum is our guest tonight. Had an interesting conversation today, Drew. You know how I hate publicists? Oh, yeah. Daniel and Jimmy decided we needed a publicist for The Man Show, and I hate the publicists, but I understand they do things, and the reason I understand they do things is it's year number four that I have not been asked to do the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach, even though every year we have their drivers in here, and every year I tell the Grand Prix people I want to drive one of those goddamn Toyotas, and every year they never call me.

33:16 Drew So this is the threshold question for whom you're going to choose as a publicist.

33:20 Adam Well.

33:20 Drew Can you get Adam on the Toyota Grand Prix?

33:22 311 Forget about doing a race car.

33:23 Adam Forget about doing a Killborn show or something. I want to get in some kind of celebrity softball game. I want to destroy a Celica. So we're talking to the guy back and forth. I don't want to mention his name. He's a decent guy.

33:36 Drew That's not a guy you've bad mouthed repeatedly.

33:39 Adam I may have. I don't know. I've bad mouthed all publicists. So there's two things. So I said, well, how much is it? He said, I'll do the both of you. One person is like 2,500 a month and both people, it's like three grand a month. And I said, I said, OK, but you do realize that for three grand a month, we could both be driving fully insured Lamborghini Countach's every day and gas and insurance, the whole thing. I mean, the choice is do the Killborn show once every three months or drive a fully loaded Countach paid for. You know what I mean? And probably have a few bucks left over at the end of the three grand. So I told him that and he laughed and said it was still $3,000. And here's what I said to him, though. And this is the logic. And I'd like I'd like all publicist to listen to me on this one. Here's I have two TV shows and a radio show and Jimmy's doing fine and all that kind of stuff. We don't need a publicist. What we need you to do is stop representing other people. Because if the playing field is leveled, we're in. I'm doing that goddamn Toyota Grand Prix every year over Anthony Michael Hall. If neither one of us has a publicist. You see what I'm saying? So here's what I'd like publicist to do. Stop representing everyone. That's the thing. I now have to have a publicist because a-holes have publicist. And I have to get one just to break even.

35:14 Drew Right. That's right.

35:16 Adam I mean, seriously, I don't want to reach down and blow myself here, but I got a couple of TV shows and a radio show. No, I got-

35:24 311 Freaking funny over here.

35:26 Adam I have a lot more going on career-wise right now than a lot of the people who would be at the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach. Maybe even most of them. Not all of them. But if you took the 20 of them, I might be ahead of 10 of them. Maybe more.

35:41 311 You got Anthony Michael Hall beat.

35:42 Adam I ain't doing it. And the reason I ain't doing it is because I don't have a publicist. And now I have to get one because everyone else has one so I can break even. Yes. What a scam, by the way.

35:52 Drew It's levels of playing field.

35:53 Adam Yeah. I mean, think about it. Think about the TV shows, the interviews, the whole thing. If everything was just equal, everything was level. You ever wonder why you start- you see certain people over and over and over again, people you don't care about that much. Yasmeen Bleefe is everywhere, and she's on the world's crampiest dog of a show. You ever see that show she's on with Cheech and Don Johnson? My God, that thing's like- it's really just a crap-filled zeppelin. That show going into a mountainside. Really is. Nash Bridges. You know what I mean? You see that show? It's ridiculous. All right. All right. All right. I'm done.

36:33 Drew Didn't we have Cheech on the TV show?

36:35 Adam I'm sure. They're all very talented. This show is a ridiculous show. He's an undercover cop. He drives a Canary Yellow 71 Barracuda around town, burning rubber everywhere, and he wears like a loud plaid Doc Severinsen-type sport coat. It's a ridiculous show. The point is, why do I have to spend three grand a month on a publicist now? Because everyone else has one. If you pussies would all drop your publicist and be man about this, let the shows who want you take you. Let the magazines that want to speak to you talk to you. Let the events like the Toyota Grand Prix or celebrity baseball games, let them contact you if they want you, pussies.

37:13 Drew It's like let the market prevail.

37:15 Adam Let the market prevail. Publicist. What a racket.

37:21 311 You got that kids, Joe?

37:22 Drew Got that kids. What a racket. Jesus Christ. I'm very interested in this stuff, Adam. Joe. What's going on?

37:31 Yeah, I just I want to know how you guys feel about going on tour with Incubus again?

37:37 311 Incubus is a really exciting group right now, and it's just like blow me away with their record and their live shows. I mean, really, I just think that they're really original and innovative, and Brandon's a really great singer, and we're really excited about it. They're good guys. I was hanging out with them last night, and I'm looking forward to that, no question.

38:02 Adam And they have a publicist.

38:04 Drew No doubt.

38:04 Adam That's how they got this.

38:05 Drew No, no, no. We're going to break.

38:06 Adam Oh, we are? Yeah. Let me say hi to June. What are you worried about, Drew? Don't worry. I'll do the driving here. June, you're 22.

38:13 Caller Yes, I am. I just wanted to say, first of all, you guys are a riot. You crack me up, and both of you are sexy.

38:23 Adam Me and Drew or Nick and Drew?

38:24 Caller Both you and Drew.

38:25 Adam Yeah.

38:26 Caller Yes.

38:26 Adam That's right. All right. All right. So what do you want?

38:31 Caller I was actually wondering, ever since I was a little girl, I had this fear of being molested. It's not so much anymore, but when I was a little girl, I had this fear.

38:42 Drew How did you find out about what that even was?

38:44 Caller That's a good question. I don't know.

38:46 Adam All right. Well, hold on. That's a good place to take a break.

38:48 Drew Yeah.

38:48 Caller Okay.

38:49 Adam All right. Drew, let's make some popcorn. Yeah. Yeah. It's always good radio. Nick is here at 3 of 11. I'm going. We'll be back after this.

39:03 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

39:33 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Nick Hexum is here from 311 and I. Drew, seriously, can we go online somehow?

39:42 Drew You want me to? I'll look up something. Yeah.

39:44 Adam Yeah. Go find out who's running that Toyota Grand Prix.

39:48 Drew I get my computer set up right here.

39:49 Adam Really?

39:50 Drew Yeah.

39:50 Adam And plug it into something?

39:51 Drew I've got wireless access. Don't have to plug it in.

39:53 Adam You do?

39:54 Drew What is that? Oh yeah.

39:56 Adam You have wire? That's the devil's computer.

39:58 311 I got that too. It's awesome, but it's kind of slow still.

40:01 Drew Not too bad. I got it pretty fast. How do you do?

40:04 Adam I don't understand how you access something.

40:07 Drew It's on a cellular. It's like a cellular system.

40:09 Adam Wow.

40:11 Caller True. Yeah.

40:14 Adam During the commercial, go get that. That is sweet, buddy. June?

40:19 Yes.

40:19 Adam You're 22.

40:20 Caller I am.

40:20 Adam That won't work on an airplane, will it?

40:23 Drew Huh? I tried it a couple of times and it didn't, but it might when you crash the plane. I always afraid of him if he does something weird to it.

40:30 Adam Yeah. You know what I love about the plane? Your cell phone will crash the plane. Their cell phone, which costs 19 bucks a minute, is perfectly fine. No problems there. I'd be curious to do the math on that one. All right, June, what's up, sweetie?

40:45 Caller Well, you guys asked me where I got the term listing.

40:49 Caller Yeah.

40:50 Adam At such a young age.

40:51 Caller At such a young age? I don't know. Maybe from TV or maybe from school.

40:58 Drew See, I suspect one of your parents was obsessed about this or anxious about it, and you picked it up.

41:03 Adam You don't think you were molested, though?

41:05 Caller I don't know.

41:06 Adam Yeah, well, if you don't know, who cares?

41:09 Drew I would bet mom had some brushes, some near-misses, and then freaked out about it. Is that true?

41:16 Caller I don't know.

41:16 Drew And then that sort of transmitted to you her anxiety.

41:19 311 When fears like that are often passed down, wouldn't you say?

41:22 Adam Oh, yeah.

41:23 311 Whether it's fear of heights or whatever, it's passed on.

41:26 Adam Don't worry about it.

41:27 Caller Okay.

41:28 Drew You doing okay now?

41:29 Caller Yeah.

41:29 311 That's the verdict. Don't worry about it.

41:32 Adam Listen, I don't know if I have been reincarnated. I don't know if my uncle put his thumb up my ass when I was six months old. I don't know any of that stuff. And you know what? Because I don't know it, don't care. It's not making a difference.

41:47 Drew At this point.

41:47 Adam Yeah. Now, if I saw my uncle and started crying uncontrollably, then I might think, all right.

41:52 Drew Your relationships have all been such a success.

41:55 Caller Oh, true.

41:57 311 Ouch.

41:58 Adam Yeah. Isn't that part of your Hippocratic Oath not to make fun of people?

42:02 311 The biggest vulnerability.

42:06 Adam T? No, he's jealous. You're 21.

42:09 Caller Yes.

42:11 Adam That pitiful fool calls this show. Okay. What's up there, T?

42:17 Caller I don't know. I would like your opinion on something.

42:21 Adam All right. Well, hurry up, Quaalude girl.

42:25 Caller Well, I got myself in a predicament that's way over my head now. I got into, I'm sleeping with a friend of mine. When we began this, I told him that I didn't want to get emotionally involved and there was no strings attached because I was dating my ideal guy.

42:49 Adam You were dating your ideal guy at the time?

42:52 Drew You started sleeping with somebody else?

42:54 Caller Yeah. Well, it didn't begin that way. What my friend was for was to help me explore my sexuality because I had a fear of intimacy.

43:06 Adam I see. Well, that was good of him to do.

43:09 Drew This is totally nuts.

43:11 Adam I'm going to start, we'll start the exploration process by you blowing me. You don't mind if I crack a beard, helps me think.

43:20 311 It's a favor to you to help you get over a year.

43:22 Adam It's only been 20 minutes. I don't think you've quite discovered your sexuality yet. Get back down there. That's nice. I love guys. Who says chivalry is dead, by the way? You hear fine examples like this, young man willing to take time out of his busy day to help you explore your sexuality.

43:40 Caller Yeah.

43:41 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. We got two things of popcorn coming in. Okay. Nobody touches until the commercial. Come on.

43:48 Caller All right.

43:49 Adam T?

43:50 Caller Yes.

43:51 Adam What happened to you? Did something happen to you when you were growing up?

43:55 Caller What do you mean?

43:55 Adam Did anyone help you explore your sexuality when you didn't want them to?

44:00 Caller No. I have a fear of intimacy.

44:04 Adam Why? Where did that come from? Where did that come from?

44:11 Caller Well, I don't know.

44:12 Adam Okay. Well, let's move on. I just feel like it's going to be a real long night with T. I really do. I feel bad. One more time. T?

44:24 Caller Yes.

44:25 Adam Where's your dad? Real fast.

44:27 Caller My dad's here.

44:28 Adam He never did anything bad to you?

44:31 Caller My dad's great. Mom?

44:32 Adam What did your mom do?

44:33 Caller My mom is great.

44:34 Adam Okay. They're both great.

44:36 Caller Yeah.

44:36 Adam And nobody's hit you or cursed at you or molested you or raped you or did anything like that to you?

44:45 Caller Well, when I was growing up, yes, I was molested.

44:50 Drew Didn't we just ask that explicitly five minutes ago?

44:52 Adam Yes. Who molested you?

44:57 Caller Somebody in my family.

44:58 Adam Who? No, no, no. I'm done. I'm done. Sorry, Tee. Tee, don't call the goddamn show if you don't want to talk. I'm not going to squeeze you like an effing bar rag to try to get information out of you. I'm sorry for what's happened to you. I'm sorry what's happened to all of you. But the show is about me. No, the show is about me trying to get a publicist. No, you have to call the show. And if we ask you if you're molested and you don't come forth with it, and then you tell us a whole bunch of ass that makes us think you were molested. So we ask you again and then you begrudgingly admit it. And then you say somebody molested you and I say who and you say someone in the family. So I have to then guess again, I'm not going to play along with that passive aggressive BS. Go ahead.

45:40 311 You're fired.

45:41 Adam You're having difficulty in your intimacy? Good. Rotten intimacy hell. Don't bother me anymore.

45:46 311 It's hard for poor T.

45:47 Adam Jesus Christ.

45:48 Drew She's 21.

45:49 Adam She's 21 years old. Get some therapy. Mike, you're 15.

45:56 Caller Yeah, hello.

45:57 Adam Hey buddy, what's going on?

46:01 Drew Mike, what's up?

46:02 Caller A couple of days ago.

46:03 Adam Oh, Drew with the popcorn. I knew he couldn't do it. All right, Mike, what's up there?

46:10 Caller A couple of days ago, I did some crank, and I don't know, I was having sex with a girl, and I thought my penis grew bigger. I don't know. It might have been just in my head.

46:21 Drew It was in your head.

46:24 Caller Oh, okay. Thank you.

46:25 Adam All right. Well, what do you want Drew to say?

46:30 Caller I don't know. I was hoping it was true.

46:33 Adam Oh, boy. Hey, Mike.

46:35 Caller Yes.

46:36 Adam Don't make me give my speech about stupid people shouldn't do drugs because they're already dumb, and it makes them even dumber. That's an embarrassing speech. Don't do any more drugs, you idiot.

46:49 Drew I thought you were going to give him the, why do you call the show?

46:51 Adam No, I'm done with that. That's the next caller. Hey, Mike? Mike, listen to me. If you stop doing drugs right now, started doing push-ups and eating nothing but the stream water, bananas, and herbs, you'd still have a hard time getting a job when you're 18. Do you understand? As it is, it's going to be impossible. You're going from difficult to impossible.

47:15 Drew Asshole.

47:16 Adam You might as well just cut your arms off. Now stop effing with your brain, you numbskull. You understand me? You're going from dumb to retard. Oh man. Listen, I've said it a million times, I'll say it again. If you're a genius and you want to smoke some weed and do some X or whatever the hell you want to do, go ahead and do it. I don't care if your IQ goes from 165 down to 125. You're still smarter than most people that call this show. But if your IQ is starting out at 86, and you think you're going to knock it down to 55, you're going from barely able to get a job to flat out Meals on Wheels candidate. And that's what our listeners do, and they don't know it. It's like, I hate to say it, but it's like, hey buddy, you're stupid anyway. Now you're going to Tardland. No one will say that. Nobody else will say that. But it's the goddamn truth. It really is. If you're a smart guy and you want to smoke a little weed or do a little acid, God bless you. I don't care if you go from super genius down to genius. Mad scientist, they are the super genius.

48:26 311 Is this the view of the AMA? Is this the view of the medical associations of the world?

48:30 Adam They'll never talk about, it's always, no one do drugs, no one do drugs, no one do drugs. Hey, if you're a genius and you want to smoke a little pot, fine. Hey, if you're average intelligence, you want to smoke a little pot and do a little acts, whatever, fine. But if you're below average, I mean, if you're one of the guys from Deliverance and you want to get stoned all the time, you're not going to be able to get a job.

48:52 Drew Probably it's not all about cognition, it's also about affect, mood, and emotional lives.

48:57 Adam All right. We got to eat some popcorn.

48:59 Drew Yes.

48:59 Adam Drew, you got to go get your computer.

49:01 Drew I know.

49:01 Adam I'm fired up tonight.

49:02 Caller All right.

49:02 Adam We'll take a little break. Nick Hexum is here from 311. We'll be back after this.

49:10 Caller We'll be right back with more. Loveline.

49:41 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Nick Hexum's our guest tonight from 311. Sound Systems, the name of the CD. I'm all fired up tonight, I don't know what the hell's going on. It was 8.30 tonight, I was sitting at the man show, I was gonna vomit and then go to bed, that was my plan. I just wanted to go to bed, I was, I had my headache, I was tired, I was whipped from the week. I got home, I beat the crap out of that heavy bag and I came in here all fired up.

50:14 311 You really do that?

50:16 Adam Yeah, I got a good heavy bag, whoop, whoop, whoop.

50:18 311 Working the heavy bag.

50:19 Adam Oh yeah, yell at it. Come on!

50:21 Can we do the 10 second thing?

50:22 Adam Oh yeah, we gotta do that thing. See, I'm so fired up, I missed that thing. Alright, we're gonna take a quick 10 second timeout, we'll be back with more of the Fabulous program in just 10 seconds.

50:32 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

50:47 Adam All right. Now we're back. I'm still fired up. You guys are lucky. I got a mouthful of popcorn. I can't yell. Drew, you can find me on that Toyota Grand Prix. Would you? We just got the computer out. Sharon?

50:59 Caller Yeah.

50:59 Adam You're 22.

51:00 Caller What's up?

51:02 Caller About two months ago, my boyfriend mentioned that he wanted anal sex. And I sort of noticed that that's what he'd wanted by how he was acting in bed. And as soon as he mentioned it, I told him no. And I can't get it out of my mind.

51:23 Adam What can't you get out of your mind?

51:26 Caller The idea of him doing that. And while we're involved, I... That's all I can think of, really.

51:33 Adam Tri-anal right.

51:34 Caller He wants to do that, you know?

51:36 Adam Yeah, I know he wants to. But you said no.

51:39 Caller Yeah.

51:39 Adam And you don't think he's gonna listen to that?

51:42 Caller No, I don't think he's... I was waiting for him to bring it up again, and he did, and I knew that he would, and he hasn't brought it up since that point.

51:52 Adam All right. What is your question?

51:54 Drew Something you want to do?

51:55 Caller It's not that I feel really... I feel bad.

51:59 Adam Why?

52:01 Caller Because it's something that he wants to explore, and it's just something that I don't want to do.

52:05 Adam Well, listen.

52:06 Drew What's wrong with that?

52:07 Adam Him exploring Judaism or Christianity is one thing, but him exploring your anus is a different situation because it's attached to you. It's right next to your ass.

52:19 Caller But I plan to be with him for a long time, and he's going to be wanting to explore it, you know?

52:24 Drew Oh, don't be ridiculous. Come on.

52:26 Adam Come on. Where are these women? Where's your sister? I want to date her. Or your mom.

52:32 Caller It's not something that he's going to get over, I imagine. He's always going to want to explore it.

52:37 Drew He's already dropped it. He's already dropped it.

52:40 Caller You don't know that.

52:41 Drew Didn't you just tell us that?

52:42 Adam He just said he brought it up one other time and that was it.

52:46 Caller I made it clear that I didn't want for him, so he dropped it, but that doesn't mean that it's off of his mind.

52:52 Adam Well, I'm guessing he sodomizes the neighbor's kid because he's got to check it off the list. I mean, once a penis gets a taste of anus, that's it.

53:01 Caller Okay. You know, if that's what I'm going to believe, then maybe he should be gone. Is that what you're telling me?

53:05 Adam Yep. You better break up.

53:07 Caller He's thinking of sodomizing some neighbor kid.

53:10 Adam Well, maybe not the kid, but possibly the dog or the grandmother. Yes, certainly.

53:14 Caller So you're saying to break up with him because of this?

53:17 Adam No, I'm saying just leave. Don't even talk to him.

53:21 Caller You're just being a jerk.

53:25 Adam You could leave me a dear went to the John note.

53:29 Caller You think he's all right then?

53:30 Adam All right, Sharon. Come on. What happened to you? You're 22. Why are you so naïve or screwed up or obsessed or whatever it is? You love the guy? Yes. All right, well, then relax. He brought it up. You said no. He had enough respect not to leave you alone.

53:45 Drew What if you brought some other thing up you don't want to do? That's perfectly within your reasonable rights not to do things you don't want to do and then not to feel guilty about it afterwards.

53:54 Adam Here's a concept, too. Oftentimes people do not want to do things to their partners that their partners don't want to do, but they don't know that. None of our listeners are callers. But what I'm saying is, is if I said to a girl, hey, I'd really like to do this to you, and she said, oh boy, that would be really uncomfortable. I really wouldn't want to do that. Then I would stop wanting to do it to her. Because sexually I don't want to do something to someone that's going to bring them down or make them uncomfortable. And the fact that they didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. I mean, just think about oral sex for a second. If I thought for a second a girl didn't like it, I wouldn't get near that thing. You kidding me?

54:38 311 She might bite.

54:39 Adam Yeah, I mean, are you kidding? But if you find out they like it, you're down for the long haul. At least at the beginning of the relationship. You know what I'm saying? Of course, it's all based on where they like it. So maybe this guy asked her and she said no. And he thought, well, she doesn't like it. So he moved on. Wow, that is weird. All right, Drew, Drew, what happened to your wondrous antenna?

55:03 Drew It's not working in here.

55:04 Adam What a surprise. Jamie?

55:06 Caller Yeah.

55:06 Adam You're 16. Yeah.

55:08 Caller What's up? Well, ever since the last time I've had sex, since then I can start kissing with a boy, but I can't get past that point. Like I feel uncomfortable once I get, when it starts to go past that.

55:23 Drew Because you don't want to have sex again?

55:26 Caller I'm not sure if it's like, I just feel that that's what's automatically going to happen or.

55:31 Drew Why did it happen in the first place if you weren't into that? Why did it happen in the first place if you weren't into that?

55:37 Caller Well, the first time it was just like, it was totally spontaneous. It was an Australian pro tennis player. It was kind of like, hey.

55:47 311 By the name of.

55:51 Adam I lost it to an Australian pro tennis player first time around too. Wow. That sounds pretty good. Was he wearing his sweatband on his head when he did you? No. But he must have been an attractive guy.

56:05 Caller Yeah.

56:05 Adam Yeah. What happened? Then he left town?

56:08 Caller Yeah. It was totally just like, that's all it was.

56:11 Adam You guys staying in the same hotel or something?

56:13 Caller No. My mom was doing the housing for the tournament.

56:18 Adam Nice. You see what that life is? What a life. You tagged along with those little socks with the little puffy balls on the back of it.

56:29 Drew How old was he?

56:31 Caller He was 17.

56:33 Adam Not bad.

56:34 Caller Yeah.

56:35 Adam Hey, Jamie, you've been to a lot of those tennis tournaments?

56:38 Caller Yeah. My mom's a big tennis player. Yeah.

56:40 Adam You know what's sort of lame about those things? You notice all the guys and women sort of dressed like tennis players at the tennis match?

56:49 Caller Yeah.

56:50 Adam They're wearing those like fela shorts, they had tennis balls stuffed in them, they're wearing K-Swiss shoes, they're wearing $100 tennis shirts. I mean, they act like someone's going to point at them and call them down to play. You're in. I twisted an ankle. Get in here. It's really weird. I mean, it's sort of lame because it's not that sort of that hoodlum Oakland Raiders crowd is up there wearing the Blitnikov jerseys. These are like rich white guys who would look really stupid in $300 sweaters, but they wear tennis outfits to the tennis game.

57:25 But it's not just that. They wear it like wherever they go. They wear those clothes.

57:28 Adam Oh, I know.

57:29 Go shopping.

57:31 Adam That whole part of life where you go, hey, I'm into this and everybody's going to know it now because I'm going to dress like I'm on the circuit. It's a weird thing to me.

57:40 Caller Oh, and Nick? Yeah. I'm going to see you at the Greek Theater May 28th.

57:45 Adam You wouldn't get the-

57:46 311 What is that?

57:47 Drew San Fran?

57:48 Caller Yeah.

57:49 311 Berkeley.

57:50 Caller Berkeley.

57:50 Drew Cool.

57:50 Adam You wouldn't get the creeps if he kissed you, would you, Jamie?

57:53 Caller What?

57:53 Adam You wouldn't get the creeps if Nick kissed you, would you?

57:56 Caller God, no.

57:56 Adam All right. All right, well, listen, you're fine, I think.

58:01 311 Sound pretty well adjusted.

58:02 Caller Do you think this is going to be like a stage, like a phase I'm going to get out of it or is it something that I need to get over?

58:06 Drew Well, look, it was not a great experience you had with this guy and it's something that you're trying to avoid now and do more thoughtfully and it's appropriate.

58:13 311 But you'll find a guy that gets you all hot and bothered and you want to do it with eventually.

58:16 Adam Yeah, maybe a pro golfer. Rachel?

58:19 Caller Yes.

58:19 Adam You're 20.

58:20 Caller Yes.

58:20 Adam What's up?

58:22 Caller I went to the gynecologist recently and he told me that my uterus tips to the back and Dr. Drew, I just wanted to know, is there going to be any health risks for me during pregnancy or?

58:37 Drew No, no, no. It's a very common thing.

58:39 Caller Oh, really?

58:40 Drew Nothing. It's no big deal.

58:41 Adam Is it possible she gives birth to an Asian child?

58:44 Drew No.

58:44 Adam No.

58:44 Drew Not even that.

58:45 311 Did the gynecologist refer you to Dr. Drew, not answer this question for you? You've got this condition, but I'm not telling you what it's going to do.

58:53 Adam I may be a certified gynecologist who's currently looking up your vagina, but I suggest you call a nameless, faceless radio show late night and see if you can get some answers over someone who's eating popcorn and has his head buried in his mini computer and is not really listening to your question. Okay, that'll be $182.

59:10 Caller Thanks.

59:11 Adam All right, Rachel.

59:12 Caller All right.

59:12 Adam You talk to your gyno.

59:13 Caller Yeah, I will.

59:14 Adam All right. Is it a man or a woman?

59:16 Caller It's a man. I really wasn't comfortable with him. It was the first time I had a visit with him. He was really awkward and short and quick with me. I just-

59:25 Drew All right. You may need somebody else.

59:26 Adam Well, that's just breeding if you really think about it. I mean, short gynecologist. You know what I mean?

59:32 Oh, okay.

59:32 Adam You wouldn't want some guy who's 6'8. He'd throw his back out trying to get down to the vagina.

59:37 Yeah, I would think so.

59:38 Adam Yeah. I mean, think about that.

59:40 311 They eat grapefruits all the time.

59:41 Adam Yeah, they have certain dogs or bred for certain things, you know? Drew?

59:48 Drew Whatever you say. I'm working hard on your thing here. It's not working.

59:51 Adam No kidding.

59:51 Drew All kinds of things about 98 and 99.

59:55 Adam Let me say something about this crappy computer world we're living in. I don't know how to use one. I never use one. I can't stand these things. I complain about them constantly. Everyone tells me this is the greatest invention ever. It's going to change your life. Once a year, I ask somebody to open a computer and find something, and then there's trouble. It blows up. They can't find what they're looking for. It seemed like the world's easiest task. Just find the lineup for the 2000 Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach Celebrity Race. But that's too tall an order for Drew.

1:00:24 Drew That's what I'm using. That's what I'm using.

1:00:26 Adam What are you using?

1:00:27 Drew Ask Jeeve.

1:00:28 Adam Candice?

1:00:29 Caller Yep.

1:00:29 Adam You're 21. What's up?

1:00:31 Caller Hey, whenever I'm having sex and I'm on the version of the big O.

1:00:37 Caller Yeah.

1:00:39 I start to throw up.

1:00:42 Drew Every time?

1:00:43 Caller Yeah.

1:00:43 Drew Whether you're with somebody or by yourself?

1:00:46 Adam With someone or by yourself?

1:00:48 Caller Well, with someone.

1:00:50 Drew How about by yourself?

1:00:52 Caller No.

1:00:53 Adam Okay.

1:00:54 Drew Okay.

1:00:54 Adam Hold on a second. I'm putting you on hold because of your inability to answer a very straight question. With yourself? With someone or by yourself?

1:01:05 Caller Yeah.

1:01:06 Adam With someone or by yourself?

1:01:09 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:10 Adam Well, not when I'm by myself.

1:01:14 Caller God.

1:01:15 Adam I know I say it every week. I challenge any radio show, local or national. I'll put the stupidity of my callers up against yours any day and I'll win hands down. Hands down. That's one thing I'm confident in them about. We'll crush any competitor when it comes to stupidity. We should have the stupidity challenge. Alan?

1:01:36 Drew Yeah.

1:01:36 311 He loves his fans.

1:01:37 Drew You're 15.

1:01:37 311 You can tell he loves his fans.

1:01:39 Adam No, I'm tired of all of you. Stop calling the show.

1:01:42 Caller 15.

1:01:43 Adam What's up there, Alan?

1:01:44 Caller Yeah, I'm 15. I just want to say hi to Nick. You're my idol.

1:01:47 Caller I have all your music.

1:01:48 Caller I listen to your music every day.

1:01:49 311 Right on, man. Thanks.

1:01:50 Caller All right. Adam, I just want to say the Man Show, we started up our own club at school and they shut it down after about three meetings.

1:01:58 Drew Hallelujah.

1:01:59 Adam You have a Man Show club?

1:02:00 Caller Yeah. We couldn't call it the Man Club, so we called it the Gentleman's Club.

1:02:04 Adam That is excellent.

1:02:06 Caller All right.

1:02:06 Adam Oh, do we got good stuff playing for you in this new season, Alan.

1:02:09 Caller All right.

1:02:10 Adam You are going to be proud.

1:02:11 Caller All right.

1:02:12 Adam Proud to wear your testicles.

1:02:14 Caller Yeah.

1:02:14 Adam What's up?

1:02:16 Caller My question, Dr. Drew, is my sister is right across, her room is right next to mine, and she makes like moans during the night. I mean, I don't know. I'm not sure what it is. My parents' room is downstairs, so they never hear it, but I'm not sure what to do about it because it wakes me up during the night.

1:02:32 Adam How old is your sister? No. Is she alone?

1:02:40 Caller I'm not sure. I don't think she has a boyfriend.

1:02:42 Adam Well, what I mean is, is there somebody on top of her or is she just sleeping and groaning?

1:02:48 Caller She's alone during the night, I'm pretty sure.

1:02:49 Drew Well, why do you have to do anything about it?

1:02:51 Caller Well, because it's waking me up during the night.

1:02:53 Drew Like bang on the door, bang on the wall when she, you know, put her on notice that you hear it, that's all.

1:02:58 Adam You got to train people. I just flick a cigarette butt at her.

1:03:02 Caller Okay. Does that mean go during the night and knock on her door?

1:03:05 Drew No, just bang on the wall. Wherever you hear it, just bang.

1:03:07 Adam Well, is it across the hall or is it on the next room next to yours?

1:03:10 Caller Oh, it's right next to mine.

1:03:11 Adam Right next to yours. All right, bang on the wall.

1:03:14 Caller Bang on the wall.

1:03:15 Adam Yeah.

1:03:15 Drew Just let her know that you hear it and that's that. She'll stop. If she's aware of it or awake or can stop it.

1:03:21 Adam Yeah, it'll train her. People can be trained. They hate it. Like when they snore and you wake them up every time they start snoring, they'll stop eventually. Or they'll stop like immediately like when you push them. It's good to throw stuff at people. You know what I miss most about being a kid or a teenager? It's like really torturing people that are asleep, you know, like where you go take a magic marker, draw a mustache and a penis on their forehead. I know.

1:03:48 311 Once you hit 30, that doesn't happen no more.

1:03:50 Adam Yeah, I know. What's up? I'm hoping it's something I get back into in a few years.

1:03:56 311 I've heard it. There's a resurgence at 40. That's when you start.

1:03:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:03:59 311 Yeah.

1:03:59 Adam You can like catch your second win. I miss effing around with my friends. Well, see, here's what it was. First, it was them asleep. You know, this is like 9, 10, 11, you know, teenage years. And then later on, it became them passed out, which is a little bit different. It was like they drank too much and hit their head on something. And that's when the duct taping and the real serious abuse came in. That was great fun. And now there's nothing to do. If someone falls asleep, you just leave them there. I don't like that. I got to work. You said like dump water on their crotch and torture them. It was great.

1:04:37 Drew There's a Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach Facts and Trivia page.

1:04:40 Adam Now, see if you can give me the 99 line up. Maybe that'll work.

1:04:44 Drew That'll be the Facts and Trivia page.

1:04:45 Adam All right. Well, look that up. Well, let's hear something from 311. This is, you queued up there Anderson? This one's called Large in the Margin. Yep.

1:08:24 311 Yeah.

1:08:27 Adam Never heard a bad 311 song.

1:08:30 311 Thank you.

1:08:31 Adam Yeah. Not had a good one either, but... Oh! No, I'm just kidding. No, I really haven't. I haven't heard every 311 song. There may be a stinker out there, but they all sound good to me. There's a certain sort of general component that they all have that makes them all good. And you don't have to hear them over and over again to like them either. Some bands and some artists, it's the 150th time I hear the song that I realize I liked it. It's usually if I hear it the first five times, I don't hate it, then it means I'm going to love it. At some point, I don't know if that's the same for everybody or if that's different or does everyone have that? Like you hear a song and you just don't like it as much as the 10th time you've heard it. I don't mean sitting down and hearing it 10 times a row, but if it's on the radio and you hear it over the course of a couple of months or something like that.

1:09:26 Caller Oh boy.

1:09:27 Adam Taboo II theme song. This one I knew I was in love with the first time I heard it, except for Mike Johnson was out and I was having at myself. So it wasn't quite fair.

1:09:38 311 Having at.

1:09:40 Adam Yeah, that's a hot song. You guys think you might want to cover the Taboo II theme song?

1:09:47 311 It's the first I'd heard of it, but I'm a fan now too, so yeah.

1:09:50 Caller Okay, good.

1:09:52 Adam As long as you'll commit to it, that would be great. Kristen?

1:09:55 Yeah.

1:09:56 Adam You're 26.

1:09:57 Caller Hey, Adam.

1:09:58 Adam Hey.

1:10:00 Caller You're wonderful.

1:10:01 Adam Wow, thanks.

1:10:02 Caller You're my current obsession right now.

1:10:04 Drew Wow.

1:10:05 Caller I think you're great.

1:10:06 311 How long has this obsession lasted for?

1:10:09 Caller It's been going on for a few months now.

1:10:11 Adam A few months?

1:10:12 Drew Yeah.

1:10:14 Caller It was a few years ago and then I lost track of your show for a while, but now I'm back.

1:10:19 Adam Oh, great. When you say obsession, what does that mean exactly?

1:10:25 Caller I just have to listen every night. I have to watch The Man Show. I watch it twice a week.

1:10:31 Adam Yeah.

1:10:32 Caller I get all my hippie, moon-loving, pagan witch friends to watch it.

1:10:41 Adam Listen, I say horrible things about those Wiccan chicks all the time.

1:10:46 Caller They're ridiculous.

1:10:48 Adam But you have a lot of them are friends of yours, right?

1:10:51 Caller Yeah. Just at this point, I've come to know a bunch of them.

1:10:55 Adam I see.

1:10:56 Caller From working and stuff.

1:10:58 Adam They're all fat, aren't they?

1:11:01 Caller Most of them.

1:11:02 Adam Yeah. Chicks don't find the Wicca religion unless they're husky.

1:11:07 Caller Right.

1:11:07 Adam I don't know what that is. Good-looking chicks don't get bothered with that nonsense. They just wear those skirts. Maybe it's the long-flowing stuff. Yeah. It's more flattering. Yeah. If the religion relied more on cycling shorts and spandex, I don't think there would be as many husky chicks attracted to it.

1:11:22 Caller Right.

1:11:23 Adam Very good point. Anyway, Chris, and what's your question?

1:11:26 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. I was on Klonopin, and they took me off of it because of its addictive properties.

1:11:37 Drew Right.

1:11:38 Caller And put me on Ambien.

1:11:39 Drew Are you an addict?

1:11:41 Yeah.

1:11:42 Adam That explains the obsession or a trance.

1:11:45 311 Meaning what? A former addict of something else?

1:11:46 Caller I'm two years clean.

1:11:47 Drew You either have that biology or you don't. If you don't have the biology or whatever.

1:11:51 Caller That's why I said yes, but I'm two years clean at this point.

1:11:54 311 Okay.

1:11:55 Drew Ambien is, you can't, I've yet to see somebody maintain sobriety on Ambien or Klonopin. Eventually.

1:12:01 Caller Well, they took me off the Ambien and put me on Valium, which is all addictive.

1:12:07 Adam Hey, though, Kristin, I've taken that Ambien, right, Drew?

1:12:11 Drew Yeah.

1:12:11 Adam Any more of that?

1:12:13 311 You just took some.

1:12:14 Caller Yeah.

1:12:14 Adam I mean, I'm out. I just finished my last five. What about the Valium?

1:12:19 311 What about it?

1:12:19 Adam Is that good?

1:12:20 Drew It's addictive.

1:12:21 Adam Well, how's it compared to the Ambien, Kristin?

1:12:24 Caller The Ambien is the only thing that's worked.

1:12:26 Adam Oh, really? But what gets you a better buzz?

1:12:30 Caller It's for the Ambien does.

1:12:32 Adam Oh, does? Okay, I'll stick with that. Go ahead, Kristin. You need help sleeping?

1:12:39 Caller Yeah, because I'm bipolar, and when I have my manic episodes, sometimes I need help sleeping.

1:12:46 Drew Well, again, sometimes it's worth taking risk with these medications if it's important another illness be treated. And indeed, if your mania is out of control, that has to be treated, and they may need for a short period of time to use some benzodiazepine. But it's treacherous.

1:13:00 Adam Look at this for a second. Hold on. Daniel? Yeah. Who's this?

1:13:06 Caller Daniel.

1:13:07 Adam Oh, Daniel. Daniel Kallesen? Yeah. Hey, Daniel.

1:13:10 Caller Hey, buddy.

1:13:10 Adam Hey, buddy.

1:13:11 Drew What do you got?

1:13:12 Adam This is the executive producer for The Man Show, by the way. Hey, you in the office?

1:13:17 Caller Yeah.

1:13:17 Adam Oh, you never stop working.

1:13:19 Caller How about that?

1:13:20 Adam It's that alcoholic gene. Hey, have you seen Daniel's package lately, Drew? His package? Oh, he is huge. He wears these really tight genes every day to work, and the chicks go nuts.

1:13:36 Caller Oh, please.

1:13:37 Adam Daniel, that's why she married you.

1:13:42 Drew Daniel, help. I'm looking for this page for Adam so he could bug him out.

1:13:45 Caller I got it. Do you want to know who's erasing?

1:13:46 Adam Are you off the speaker phone, Daniel?

1:13:48 Caller Yeah.

1:13:48 Adam Thank you.

1:13:49 Drew How the hell did you find this thing?

1:13:50 Adam Oh, he's a genius. He's not like you.

1:13:52 Drew How did you find it?

1:13:56 Caller He actually had to search a little bit, but it was under the pro-celebrity section of this Long Beach website.

1:14:03 Drew Of Long Beach, the city of Long Beach.

1:14:04 Caller And then you go to the news release page, and then the news release, they had the list of the celebrities who were competing.

1:14:09 Adam Genius, that dude.

1:14:11 Caller So you want me to start with the lower rung or the higher rung?

1:14:15 Adam Start high and let's work our way down.

1:14:17 Caller Well, George Lucas.

1:14:19 Adam All right, I've heard of him.

1:14:20 Caller Ashley Judd.

1:14:21 Adam All right, celebrity.

1:14:22 Caller Christian Slater.

1:14:24 Adam All right, he's out. Will they like parole him to do the race?

1:14:27 Caller Apparently.

1:14:28 311 He's got the genes.

1:14:29 Adam He's going to have his car being followed by a patrolman. All right, these are all big stars.

1:14:35 Caller John Elway.

1:14:36 Adam All right, another big star.

1:14:38 Caller Here's where we start getting a little dubious. Allison Hannigan.

1:14:43 Drew No, she's from...

1:14:46 Adam First off, yeah, it's true.

1:14:47 Drew Well, she was in the American Pie.

1:14:48 Adam She's not that big a star because she did this show.

1:14:50 Drew Yeah.

1:14:51 Adam I didn't know who she was. No offense, Nick. Not you, Nick. Not you, buddy. You're golden. You shouldn't be here. Leave. Leave now. Run.

1:15:00 311 Run my side. I'm slumming.

1:15:02 Adam No, no, no. We get a lot of big bands. It's the actors and actresses where we go bottom shelf with.

1:15:07 Caller Antonio Sabato Jr., who is listed as Calvin Klein model and author of No Excuses.

1:15:13 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:15:14 Caller He's a writer.

1:15:15 Adam Yeah. He's a well-known writer. I think they're going to make that book into a movie.

1:15:20 Caller Rachel Hunter and Josh Brolin.

1:15:23 Adam Josh Brolin would be James Brolin's son.

1:15:26 Caller I think that's right.

1:15:28 Adam He, of course, we know from Sandy Beach and Aaron Spelling production that was canceled 10 years ago or something like that.

1:15:36 Caller Yeah.

1:15:36 Adam All right. Josh Brolin.

1:15:38 Caller But I seem to think that his dad also raced maybe in, in a...

1:15:42 Adam In like, in my dad wasn't in the race?

1:15:45 Caller Maybe not. Maybe, maybe that he had to be a legacy.

1:15:49 Adam Hold on. One more reason I hate my dad. Let me write that down. Reason, reason 2522. Did not get me into the Time Show, the Grand Prix of Long Beach.

1:15:58 Caller Yeah.

1:15:59 Adam All right.

1:15:59 Caller And Sean Palmer.

1:16:02 Adam Oh, the snowboard. Yeah. He's been on this show too. He's not a big celebrity. Well, hold on, Daniel. Do you have any more?

1:16:07 Caller That's it, buddy.

1:16:08 Adam We got to take a break. Hold on a sec. Hey, I'll see you tomorrow morning.

1:16:11 Caller All right.

1:16:12 Adam Thanks for calling in, Jim. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break.

1:16:15 Drew I'm going to go to the chat rooms of drdrew.com and stay, since I'm on the web here.

1:16:18 Adam All right, wise ass. We'll be back after this.

1:16:21 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:16:24 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-F-E-1-9-1.

1:17:04 Drew I'm not getting on anywhere.

1:17:05 Adam Good. Shut that computer. That confounded you.

1:17:07 Drew Now that I'm not interested in searching for you?

1:17:10 Adam You did nothing for me. I had to have my second backup male lover, Daniel Kellison from The Man Shall Call In and bail us out of that one. Nick Hexum is here from 311. Sound Systems, the name of the CD, and we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Valerie. Valerie?

1:17:28 Caller Yes?

1:17:29 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:17:31 Caller Yes.

1:17:32 Caller Well, my boyfriend, he does weights, and I want to know if it would affect him anyway in his penis.

1:17:37 Adam If he drops one on it, yeah. Is that what you're talking about?

1:17:40 Drew Is he taking steroids?

1:17:42 Adam No.

1:17:43 Drew You sure?

1:17:44 Caller Yeah, I'm sure.

1:17:44 Drew A lot of these guys do it without telling anybody.

1:17:47 Caller Huh?

1:17:48 Adam A lot of people who lift weights, as Drew says.

1:17:52 Drew We'll do that stuff without telling anybody. They keep it very quiet.

1:17:55 311 Is he getting really big, really fast?

1:17:58 Caller Um, no.

1:17:59 Adam No? Okay. I'm sure he'll be glad to hear that. All right, Valerie, don't worry. His penis is not going to shrink because he's exercising. He's full.

1:18:08 Caller Adam Montoya, I love you 311. I love you guys too. You guys are the bomb. Thanks.

1:18:12 Adam Thanks. All right.

1:18:14 Caller Adam, you're like my god.

1:18:15 Caller I swear, I listen to you.

1:18:16 Caller This show every day.

1:18:18 Adam Oh, really?

1:18:18 Caller Except Fridays and Sundays.

1:18:20 Adam Well, listen. Almost half the show. Although we're not on on Fridays, are we?

1:18:27 No.

1:18:27 Adam Thank God.

1:18:28 All right.

1:18:28 Adam Hey, Valerie, as your god, I command you not to get pregnant.

1:18:33 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:35 Caller When you take the shot, what is that thing called?

1:18:37 Adam Depravera?

1:18:38 Caller Yeah, something like that.

1:18:40 Caller Do you gain weight with that?

1:18:41 Drew Do you gain weight? Not typically.

1:18:43 Caller No.

1:18:44 Drew But some people, you could, but not typically.

1:18:46 Adam You won't. Not you won't. You're going to gain the ounce of liquid that is shot into you, and that's it.

1:18:50 Drew You will gain weight with pregnancy, though.

1:18:52 Adam Yes. You'll gain a ton of weight. You understand? Yeah. That depo will make your penis shrink, though. I do want to warn you about that. All right, there. She's an easy audience. Josh. Yeah. You're 18. What's going on?

1:19:07 Caller All right. Me and my girlfriend have had sex numerous amount of times.

1:19:10 Adam All right.

1:19:11 Caller And everything seems to be fine for me. Like, we were each other's first, but it seems to be fine with me.

1:19:17 Drew How old is she?

1:19:18 Caller She's 18 also. She...

1:19:22 Drew Let me guess. She doesn't have orgasms.

1:19:23 Caller Yes.

1:19:24 Drew Oh, shocking.

1:19:25 Caller Yeah.

1:19:26 Drew All right. That's never happened before to an 18-year-old woman.

1:19:28 Caller Yeah. She is really, really nervous. I just told her that it's got to be technique or something.

1:19:34 Drew No.

1:19:35 Caller Because I don't know, but she's really, really nervous about it.

1:19:37 Adam About what?

1:19:39 Caller About not being an orgasm. She thinks that something's wrong with her. I mean, I don't know what to do or tell her about that.

1:19:45 Adam Well, has she ever had an orgasm on her own?

1:19:49 Caller No, I don't think she has.

1:19:51 Adam Have you ever asked her that?

1:19:52 Caller I've asked her, but she tells me no.

1:19:53 Adam Okay.

1:19:54 Caller I mean, we've done, she says she starts to feel like pleasure. Yeah. Just like little hits of it here and there. Sure. But never enough to orgasm.

1:20:05 Adam No. Hey, Josh.

1:20:07 Caller Yeah.

1:20:08 Adam I've been doing some serious thinking about this topic, this orgasm woman topic.

1:20:12 Drew Yeah.

1:20:14 Adam I've never, it seems easy. You know what it seems like? Only through oral sex can these women have orgasm.

1:20:24 Drew Most of them, yeah.

1:20:24 Adam I swear to Christ, I don't think I've ever given a woman an orgasm through intercourse. I've nailed it.

1:20:30 311 It's nice when you find one that does though.

1:20:31 Adam At least four women in my 35 years.

1:20:32 311 But you know what's nice when you find one that does?

1:20:35 Drew That's what's interesting. The ones that do have orgasm during sex, don't really like oral sex so much and are bewildered by women that need oral sex.

1:20:44 Adam I got to get one of them. Boy, do I got to get that one. I've only met women who have them via oral sex. Now, they enjoy the intercourse and they get close. You can tell they like it. But to finish them off, you got to go down the basement and stoke the furnace.

1:21:04 Caller Stoke the furnace.

1:21:06 Adam Loading coal, brother. It's a bitch for me because of my deviated septum. I can't breathe down there. Getting all that cotton mouth and whatnot. But I just get down there and start licking away. I wouldn't assume they're gonna have it. It seems like they can. I wish someone would have told me this when I was younger, but they can't. It's like, you know, when you're a kid and you go to a vending machine, you see the Snickers bars and all the potato chips and everything and they're just out of your reach and you think, I'll just slide my arm up this big slot in the bottom, I'll reach up and I'll grab one of these things. And it seems so easy and there it is. And you see your hand going up, you can see your hand, you can wave it yourself through the glass, but you just can't quite get to that Snickers bar. That's what it is. I'm saying forget about trying to get it. Just go get some change from the Oriental guy who's got the liquor store across the street.

1:21:57 311 They like to be called that, don't they?

1:21:59 Adam They have all the liquor stores.

1:22:00 311 You need to go to the Museum of Tolerance.

1:22:02 Adam You want to call them gook? Are you kidding me? Please. How dare you to?

1:22:07 311 It's right down the street.

1:22:08 Adam Teresa?

1:22:10 Oh, hi Nick.

1:22:11 Adam You're 18.

1:22:12 Caller I just wanted to wish you a happy early birthday.

1:22:15 311 Thanks.

1:22:15 Caller Today's my 18th birthday.

1:22:17 311 Happy birthday to you.

1:22:18 Adam Nick, when is your birthday?

1:22:19 311 The 12th.

1:22:21 Adam How old are you going to be?

1:22:22 311 30.

1:22:23 Adam That's the perfect age to rock.

1:22:24 311 30, 30.

1:22:26 Adam What is that? That's a good answer, huh? I didn't know what rock was until I was 30. Drew, how about you?

1:22:34 Drew I still don't know.

1:22:35 Adam What's up there, Teresa?

1:22:37 Caller I've known this guy for three years now, and we've been really good friends. We've gotten really close and stuff. And I've been going out with him for almost three weeks now. And I was talking to his mom earlier today, and I found out he has a kid in Florida that he never told me about.

1:22:50 Drew How old is he?

1:22:52 Caller He's 22. I haven't approached him yet. I haven't talked to him since. And I don't know if I should confront him or...

1:23:00 Adam You said he's 32?

1:23:01 Caller He's 22.

1:23:02 Adam Oh, sorry. Yeah, and are you getting serious about this?

1:23:08 Caller Well, we have been... I thought we have been really good friends, and I have told him, like, everything, and we just talk a lot.

1:23:16 Adam What city are you calling from?

1:23:18 Caller Colorado.

1:23:18 Drew How long have you been with him? Seeing him, kind of?

1:23:22 Adam Drew, what the hell is that a question?

1:23:24 Drew I'm choking on something. How long have you been talking to him?

1:23:27 Caller We've known each other for three years.

1:23:29 Drew How long have you been becoming sort of serious?

1:23:31 Adam People give answers like, it's like they have Oliver Norr's goddamn attorney next to them. Who molested you? A family member. Which family member?

1:23:42 311 I cannot answer on the ground.

1:23:43 Adam Was not my father or my mother. You know, it's like, just, we've been talking for three, have you ever given that answer? I mean, if someone said to you, like, how long have you been with your girlfriend?

1:23:54 Drew I've known her for 12 years.

1:23:56 Adam We established a dialogue in 1994.

1:23:59 311 Our acquaintance has grown.

1:24:00 Drew Yeah, it's like, we met in kindergarten.

1:24:03 Adam Like, it serves to confuse people. It's like, oh, did you guys work together for five years before you got it on, or what's going on here? When did you get an answer? Oh, I hate, I hate everyone, except for you guys. Theresa? Theresa?

1:24:19 Caller Yeah.

1:24:19 Adam You guys have been talking for three years.

1:24:21 Caller Well, it was three years ago that I met him, and we worked together, and then, like, probably six months after that, we started hanging out.

1:24:29 Adam Okay, so hold on. Let me write this down.

1:24:31 Drew Get the whole chronology down.

1:24:31 Adam Three years ago is when you met, and six months after that, that's started hanging out. So now we're back, we're down to about two and a half years. You want to keep going? Keep going, goofball.

1:24:45 311 Take your time.

1:24:47 Adam Yeah, how long have you been dating?

1:24:50 Caller It'll be three weeks tomorrow.

1:24:51 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ.

1:24:55 311 Oh my God.

1:24:56 Adam Yeah, I would get that. I don't know why, and I want to apologize. I really do, Teresa, because when someone says we've been talking for three years, I should know that that translates into we've been dating for three weeks. Jesus Christ, I swear to Christ, if anyone wants to challenge my listeners, bring them on. Bring on your stupidest. Teresa, I'll put you clean up. You'll be batting number four in the retard line up.

1:25:22 Drew We have to establish whether or not Teresa has a trustworthy sort of antenna.

1:25:26 Adam Oh, I don't care.

1:25:27 Drew Come on, Teresa, is your dad around? Yeah.

1:25:32 Adam Hold on, that could mean a lot of things.

1:25:34 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:25:35 Adam Yeah. He's around, he lives with your mother?

1:25:38 Caller Yeah.

1:25:39 Adam And you live with them?

1:25:41 Caller Yeah.

1:25:42 Adam Okay. And he's a good guy?

1:25:46 Caller Yeah.

1:25:47 Adam Okay. And this guy you chose, well, it's only been three weeks.

1:25:52 Caller Yeah.

1:25:53 Adam Yeah. So I wouldn't worry about it.

1:25:55 Caller Should I confront him about it, should I ask him?

1:25:57 Adam Why don't you give him a little more time?

1:25:58 Drew Why don't you ask him about it? I, this whole, have I ever used the word confront? I mean, our listeners also want to confront everybody about everything.

1:26:06 311 You could just kind of hedge the topic by saying, how do you feel about kids? You know, and then if he doesn't mention it, he's already got one, then it's going to be pretty obvious. He's a bad character.

1:26:16 Adam Well, I think we're living in a day and age of like Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones, where everything has to be a goddamn bum rush. You know, it's like you have to confront everyone head on about everything. Yeah, just go ahead and start weaving, weave something into a conversation. Use some tact. Be subtle. See what he says. But, I don't know, if I started dating a girl and I liked her and we were only three weeks into it, I'm not sure I would say anything just yet. And especially if I liked her, I'd be worried I might scare her off. On the other hand, they've been talking for three years. I wonder why he's never brought up the fact that he has a child if they've been friends.

1:26:58 Drew She's been into him from the beginning. He probably knew it.

1:27:01 Adam Okay. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Nick Hexum's here from 311. And when we come back, we'll speak to Melissa. Who gets extremely wet during sex, which is just like my partner Drew, after this.

1:27:16 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

1:27:50 Adam And yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, Nick Hexum's our guest tonight. From 311, Sound System is the name of the CD, it's out. You should go get it if you haven't already, but I'll assume by the callers that most of our listeners have it. And I gotta tell you, I know it sounds like I'm just kissing more band ass here, but we have a lot of bands on the show, and we usually get too many calls for them. I usually feel bad for them. We'll have bands on the show that are decent size bands, sold a few records, and we'll sit here for two hours to get one call. Now part of it is, I'm sure the screener tells them to get lost because it's mostly about relationships and venereal disease and whatnot. But there have been quite a few calls.

1:28:38 311 It's really cool. A lot of fans have called for you, and so far tonight no one has called for Dr. Drew, so I have to tell this story. I was having dinner with a friend tonight, and she was like, I love Dr. Drew. I have some questions I'd like to ask him, and I was like, what, will you marry me? She was like, exactly.

1:28:55 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:28:55 311 So you got a fan.

1:28:56 Drew Oh, that's nice. I got one.

1:28:58 Adam They love Dr. Drew, the ladies do. Not his wife, but the ladies. They love him. I mean, I think your wife did love you at some point.

1:29:07 Drew Yeah, I think at some point.

1:29:08 Adam Melissa?

1:29:09 Caller Yes?

1:29:10 Adam You're 25, and you get extremely wet during sex.

1:29:13 311 And your phone number is?

1:29:15 Adam And you want to know if that's a bad thing?

1:29:17 Caller Well, not necessarily.

1:29:18 Caller I mean, I've never had any complaints.

1:29:20 Caller But sometimes I get too wet where I really can't feel anything. I'm just curious if there's anything that can be done. I mean, yeah, if I can do anything about it.

1:29:30 Adam Well, it's a little rough on the guy, too, because you do need a certain degree of friction.

1:29:36 Caller Right.

1:29:37 Adam I mean, if it's like, really, if it's like screwing a mayonnaise jug.

1:29:41 Drew Well, I mean, it's not like that bad.

1:29:43 Caller But I mean, it's like, you touch me and I'm wet.

1:29:46 Adam Nice.

1:29:46 Caller And it's not from like, if I come, I mean, I get wet as well.

1:29:50 Adam I could dry up.

1:29:50 Caller Just like, oh.

1:29:53 Adam All right. Now, what do you say, Drew, what if the guy put a condom on? Do you think that would add a little more friction?

1:30:01 Drew She's producing like that.

1:30:03 Adam What if she got on some of that acne medication or something?

1:30:08 Drew Oh, yeah, that would do it. That's true. That would probably do it.

1:30:10 Adam See, I could be a doctor.

1:30:11 Drew Yeah, interesting. But I don't think anybody would do that. But interesting idea.

1:30:14 Adam Squeeze a tube of that Oxy-10 up here and it'll dry you right up.

1:30:17 Drew No, I think it's just something you need to work with. It's you.

1:30:20 Caller Right.

1:30:21 Drew That's all.

1:30:22 Caller Just get used to it and work with it.

1:30:24 Drew Yep.

1:30:24 Adam Well, it's been-

1:30:25 311 There's a lot of worse problems than that.

1:30:26 Drew Yes.

1:30:27 Caller It's been working OK for it.

1:30:29 Caller I mean, most guys are like, oh, no, I love it. It's great.

1:30:31 Caller But me, I'm like, you know, I don't really like it.

1:30:36 Caller Yeah.

1:30:37 Adam I'm going to give you a tip because I did have this problem once with a girlfriend about seven or eight years ago. I used to spread kitty litter on a vagina. I really like it. It really worked. It really worked. Like when a transmission leaks and big puddle in the driveway, throw some kitty litter on there, sweep it up, it really absorbs the whole thing. I'm not talking about a whole sack of kitty litter, but just take a funnel and work a little in there.

1:31:04 311 There's a product idea in there somewhere. Vaginal dry up kitty litter.

1:31:10 Adam Yeah. Now be careful if you fall asleep, because cats are a condition of that smell. And yeah, it's very embarrassing. Very embarrassing. Maria? Yes. You're 20. Right. What's up? Jesus, you've been on home for 95 minutes?

1:31:27 Caller Yeah.

1:31:28 311 You're a trooper.

1:31:29 Caller Thank you. First of all, I wanted to say happy early birthday to Nick.

1:31:33 311 Thank you.

1:31:34 Caller And I love you guys.

1:31:35 311 Thank you.

1:31:36 Caller And you're welcome. And what's been going on is I was on Depo for about a year. And then I went off and about six months later or something, I finally started getting my period back. And after that, I started getting really red and dry and itchy on my lips, you know, the labia. And I went to the gynecologist and she said that everything was fine. She checked me out, told me to use vinegar for a while, and then come back again if it was bothering me. And I did. And she said it still looked okay. There was no problem when I came back in for a pap smear to, you know, tell them about it. And I'm going in in a month, but it's still coming. And I'm wondering if there's something more that I need to tell them about to have them look into.

1:32:26 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:32:28 Caller I'm on Ritalin and...

1:32:30 Drew It's your medication.

1:32:31 Caller Selexa.

1:32:32 Drew It's your medication.

1:32:33 Adam So what should she do with that?

1:32:34 Caller Wait, for what? She just told me to take vinegar.

1:32:37 Drew It's your medication that's doing this to you?

1:32:39 Caller It is.

1:32:40 Drew Absolutely.

1:32:40 Caller Okay.

1:32:41 Drew Okay? She's talked to her about the medication, the other medications.

1:32:44 Adam Ritalin and Selexa.

1:32:45 Drew Didn't we talk to her?

1:32:46 Adam Candace throws up right before orgasm. Yeah, we did talk to her. Oh, but I think I yelled at her.

1:32:52 Drew Oh, you put on a hole for her. Oh, boy.

1:32:54 Adam And now she's been on a hole for 70 minutes. You see, you screwballs, you F around with me and this is what you get. Don't make me be evil again, Candace.

1:33:05 Caller I'm glad you value my stupidity.

1:33:07 Adam I really do. And let me explain something else to you screwballs. You think I feel bad about this? I go home and sleep like a baby. I laugh all the way home. I light a cigar with a $20 bill, have a shot of cognac and then laugh like a madman before I get in bed. I never think about any of you.

1:33:24 Drew He's just a dick. Yes, he is. Yes, he is.

1:33:27 Adam All right, Candace.

1:33:27 Drew The girl's calling, I love you, Adam.

1:33:29 Adam That's right. The ones that are ex junkies.

1:33:32 Drew They're worshiping guys in the prison.

1:33:34 Adam All right. All right, Candace, what's up?

1:33:36 Caller Well, when I'm on the verge of an orgasm during sex with a partner, I start to throw up.

1:33:44 Drew All right. His same partner?

1:33:46 Caller Yeah.

1:33:46 Adam Well, like different people. Any partner.

1:33:49 Drew How many times has this happened?

1:33:51 Caller About like 10.

1:33:53 Drew 10 times 10 different people.

1:33:55 Caller Yeah, about.

1:33:56 Drew Have you ever had a relationship with someone that worked?

1:33:59 Caller Well, yeah, but like it was like my first couple of times.

1:34:02 311 And you're sober when, you know, you're doing this. Right?

1:34:07 Caller Yeah.

1:34:07 Drew Okay.

1:34:08 Adam I'm hearing it in your voice, Candace. Somebody did something to you.

1:34:12 Caller No, not really.

1:34:13 Adam A little bit. Come on.

1:34:15 Caller Well, I'm just a little tired.

1:34:16 Caller I've been on hold for so long, you know, because you yelled at me.

1:34:21 311 Yeah. You're the one that messed her up.

1:34:22 Adam I'm really getting a vibe off of Candace. Yeah. Candace.

1:34:27 Caller Uh-huh.

1:34:29 Adam Now listen, I don't want to get in a big argument with you, but just be truthful with me or be truthful with yourself. Do you not like guys that much? I mean, you like them, but you know what I mean? There's a part of you that feels a little hostile toward them?

1:34:45 Caller No, not at all.

1:34:46 Adam Not at all.

1:34:47 Caller Not at all.

1:34:47 Adam And you like your dad?

1:34:49 Caller Love him.

1:34:50 Adam You love your dad?

1:34:51 Caller Yeah.

1:34:51 Adam And nobody's ever, is he, do you talk to him?

1:34:55 Caller Uh-huh.

1:34:55 Adam Okay, what's he do for a living?

1:34:58 Caller He is a firefighter.

1:34:59 Adam Uh-oh. And does, you've never been mistreated by a man?

1:35:05 Caller No.

1:35:06 Adam Never been molested or raped or anything like that?

1:35:09 Caller Nope.

1:35:09 Adam I'm trying to figure out why you throw up when you have sex. It's not, I don't think it's, you're allergic to penis, I think it's a reaction that you're having, an emotional reaction. Yeah. Could there be, you have any explanation for that?

1:35:24 Caller Well, the first couple of times I tried it, I was like really young.

1:35:27 Drew How old?

1:35:29 Caller Like, my first time I was 15. And then since I was like, like 18 or 19.

1:35:37 Drew Have you had a relationship with any of these guys?

1:35:40 Caller A few of them.

1:35:41 Adam How old was the guy when you were 15?

1:35:44 Caller 16.

1:35:45 Adam And nothing, where's your mom? You get along with her?

1:35:48 Caller Yeah, she's great.

1:35:50 Adam Nothing weird happened?

1:35:51 Caller No, not at all.

1:35:52 Adam What's the weirdest, scariest thing that ever happened to you?

1:35:56 Caller I masturbate with toothpaste.

1:36:00 311 With the purpose of what?

1:36:02 Adam You, with the container?

1:36:04 Caller No.

1:36:05 Adam With the actual toothpaste?

1:36:06 Caller Yeah, as a lubricant.

1:36:09 Adam As a lubricant?

1:36:10 Caller Yeah.

1:36:12 Adam All right. Your vaginal will never get gingivitis. Hold on a second.

1:36:16 Drew I don't know.

1:36:17 Adam I don't know what's up with her either. But man, it feels like something. Feels like something. All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be back. All right, for the guy who faxed me, it was Giant Robot was the name of that robot, or Gigantor, depending on which one you're talking about.

1:37:15 Drew Thanks for the fax from LZ, who told me why I can't get into my own chat rooms.

1:37:19 Adam All right, Nick, thank you very much for coming in.

1:37:23 311 My pleasure, thanks for having me, it was fun.

1:37:24 Adam 311, everyone, the world's greatest band. Go out and buy every CD they made, and even some that they haven't. Soundsystem's the name of the latest, and again, if you already haven't, get a second one. I want to thank producer Anne for doing a great job all week, and I want to welcome her back to the Loveline family. It's good to see her smiling face. I also want to thank Danielle for doing a great job, and of course Anderson for doing a great job on the boards.

1:37:49 Drew And Daniel for operating the web more effectively.

1:37:52 Adam That's right, that's right. The package, Daniel Kalleson. So, until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:59 Drew He's just a dick.

1:38:01 Adam Well, now.

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Thursday, April 6, 2000