Episode 1000754887479

3:36 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

3:39 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

3:43 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

3:44 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

3:47 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

3:49 Voiceover Loveline.

3:51 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. I took a nap tonight, Drew. Oh, boy. I went down so hard that when my little buzzer, my little egg timer.

4:15 Drew You didn't know what day it was, what time of day it was.

4:17 It went off.

4:18 Adam I went to bed at about 8.40. Preparation is my middle name if you ever listen to this show. I live about 22, 23 minutes away from the studio, so I set my alarm for 9.30. I figured I'd give me plenty of time to get up and make it on into the seat, and I gave myself a couple of minutes to put my shoes and my sweatpants or pajama bottoms on, at least. Make it in the studio. But the point is, I went to bed about 8.40. My little alarm went off at 9.30. That thing was going off. I didn't know where I was. I was just paralyzed. I was just lying there in bed, and I was thinking, well, it's dark, was my first thought. That I drank in pretty good. It's dark. Now, it could be early in the morning, or maybe it's late at night. There's this buzzer going off, and that buzzer seems to indicate I'm supposed to go do something, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. So, I'm going to play it safe and just sit up. Now, it's like 932, the buzzer is still going off, and I'm still sitting there, and my alarm clock, which I don't use, I just use it like a clock. I always use my egg timer. I have a few things I really want to share with you, the listener of Loveline, because it really can help you in your life. I like these electronic egg timers. Ten bucks down at the supermarket, takes one AA battery. Pow! You press in one hour, you can press in 45 minutes, you can press in 18 minutes.

6:01 Drew Pow!

6:02 Adam I've taken naps for 12 minutes.

6:04 Drew Yeah.

6:05 Adam It's better.

6:05 Drew Yeah.

6:06 Adam But you can't set your clock alarm, because there's no way you're going to set your clock alarm when it's 8.46 at night to go off at 9.11. You're not going to do it.

6:17 Drew Well, by the time you've done it, it's 9.02.

6:19 Adam By the time you've done it, it's time to get up. And furthermore, and it's not going to work out, because there's going to be an AM PM prom, because you had it on AM.

6:27 Drew You lie there worrying about it.

6:29 Adam So you have two options. You can lie there and wake up every two to two and a half minutes and glance over at the clock, which doesn't really constitute a nap, because you have one eye awake, because you're constantly aware that you have to get up. Or you could go, F it, I'm going down. In which case, you could wake up at 1145 in the evening and have missed your job, whatever. Whatever it is you're supposed to do. But with these little egg timers, little tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, little digital timer, 999, I'll set that thing for 18 minutes. I'll set that thing at nine o'clock. When I have to leave for work at 925, I'll set that thing for 20 minutes, I'll go down. Pow. If that thing didn't go off, I'd be going all night. But anyway, this time I popped up, I didn't know where the hell I was. Completely out of it.

7:14 Drew How to orient?

7:15 Adam It doesn't matter. I don't even need to orient.

7:17 Drew You know where we are now? Okay.

7:20 Adam Who said that? Who said that? Are you eyeballing me? What did you do with Drew? No, I'm out of it. Yeah, I'm completely out of it. It's impossible. Yeah, this is a dream. I shouldn't get paid for this part of the show because I don't remember this. But the point is, is I just woke up and went, I know the fact that this little box here is making a noise.

7:39 Drew It means you should get up.

7:39 Adam Put your shoes on and start heading for the door. By the time you get to your car or at least down the hill, you'll figure out which way to turn, which office to go to, where to go. I was so goddamn tired in general that I plopped down a 500 bucks for a Lou Gehrig's disease benefit gala. Dinner event tonight didn't go. By the way, everybody, that's a big deal. That's 500, that's a lot of food. That's a lot of chow. I mean, it's a charity, fine. But you know you want to go home when you bought a 500 dollar ticket to go to some event and you want to screw it. I'm going home.

8:18 Drew But it's interesting how much your biology fits how you've been feeling.

8:22 Adam What's that?

8:22 Drew Well, last night you were complaining about how just overwhelmed and tired and you give yourself now a chance to sleep.

8:27 Adam Pow!

8:28 Drew Coma.

8:29 Adam Oh, it's like God hit me in the head with a giant frying pan.

8:32 Drew But it's no wonder then you're so irritable.

8:34 Adam Thank you. You mean now or in general?

8:37 Drew Well, how you've been calm.

8:38 Adam I see. Yeah, my new personality, my new bad personality, I know.

8:42 Drew The new bad Adam. You're thinking a bad Adam.

8:45 Adam The new bad Adam. I know, I was telling my shrink last week, I've only been an A-hole for a couple of years. I used to be a really nice guy, I was really a sweet guy. Now I'm an A-hole, but at least I know I am. All right, how big an A-hole can I be? I freely admit I'm an A-hole.

9:02 Drew But I got to interview James Toback at the drdrew.com show.

9:06 Adam No one's heard of him.

9:08 Drew He wrote Bugsy and he's the writer producer of Black and White and he's a really smart, interesting guy and he would like interviewing him. We should try to get him in if she's listening.

9:17 Adam Mike Tyson, no?

9:18 Drew Mike Tyson, no show.

9:19 Adam I'm shocked.

9:20 Drew I mean just total A-hole. Ready people there, his people there. Toback flies into the interview, oops, interrupts his rhythm.

9:29 Adam Shocked.

9:30 Drew He's not in the right state of mind.

9:32 Adam I'm glad I'm not a gambling man, I would have lost millions on this. Drew, what did I say to you yesterday when you said Tyson was coming in?

9:38 Drew He'll never be there.

9:38 He'll never be there. We'll show up.

9:44 Yeah.

9:44 Adam You're 16.

9:45 Caller Yeah.

9:46 Drew I like better what you said today, people don't disappoint.

9:49 Exactly.

9:49 Drew That's a more important statement.

9:50 Adam That's all you need to know about people, everyone. They don't disappoint. I knew Tyson wouldn't show up for that interview. What's going on there, Jeff?

9:58 Caller I've been having sex with my girlfriend for about maybe six months now. Every time I have sex with her, the condom rips. It's really hard to get on over the head.

10:11 Adam I see.

10:12 Caller I was just wondering if you guys can recommend some condoms I should use.

10:16 Adam Yeah.

10:18 Caller None of the condoms are working.

10:19 Adam All right. We'll go with those Magnum ones. They're a little bit bigger. Okay?

10:23 Caller Okay.

10:23 Adam There you go.

10:24 Drew This guy is faking some weird voice, by the way.

10:26 Caller I don't smoke weed before I go to school in the morning.

10:28 Drew No, no. That was the guy just faking it.

10:30 Adam Yeah. That guy was just BSing.

10:33 Yes?

10:33 Adam You're 13?

10:35 Caller Yeah.

10:37 Adam What are you doing?

10:39 Caller Are you in bed?

10:41 Guest Yeah.

10:41 Adam Hold on. Can I come over there? I want to get in bed too.

10:45 Guest Okay. First of all, I want to say you guys are great. I've listened to you since I was nine years old.

10:49 Adam Oh, no.

10:50 Drew Jesus Christ.

10:51 Adam You could have listened to Drew since before you were born, by the way.

10:55 Guest I just want to say, Adam, I have heard a Loveline commercial on the radio.

10:59 Adam What?

11:00 Guest I have heard of it.

11:01 Drew A local thing.

11:02 Adam A local one?

11:03 Guest Yes.

11:03 Adam Not MTV, though?

11:04 Guest No, but on the radio I have, yeah.

11:06 Adam Yeah, for the Loveline radio show?

11:08 Guest Yeah.

11:08 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah, that could happen. You're not in LA., though, are you?

11:11 Guest No.

11:12 No.

11:14 Adam All right.

11:15 Drew Modesto.

11:16 Guest Yeah.

11:17 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew.

11:18 Okay.

11:19 Guest Well, on Saturday I was making out with my boyfriend and I felt like a little wet down there and later I discovered that I bled a little bit and I wasn't on my period, so I was wondering if there's something wrong with that.

11:37 Drew Not necessarily. Were you coming up on your period?

11:40 Guest No, I wasn't. I didn't get it on Sunday or today.

11:44 Drew Yeah, sometimes sexual stimulation, particularly intercourse, will stimulate some bleeding, so it's not that big a deal.

11:50 Adam But she didn't have intercourse.

11:52 Drew No, but even sexual activity sometimes a little bit.

11:55 Adam I mean, just sort of that area gets a little engorged with blood and a little...

12:02 Yeah.

12:04 Adam That area is a little leaky down there, right? I mean, it's not like your finger. I mean, what I mean is you could take a rubber band, put it on your finger, sort of engorge it with blood. It's not like it would start leaking.

12:14 Drew It doesn't have a little glands around there. There's just a giant gland up top, the uterus, and there's also skiing glands and Bartholomew glands and all sorts of glands around it.

12:22 Adam Yeah, it's sort of like...

12:23 Drew Glands on the vaginal wall.

12:24 Adam You know when people go, like they go spelunking?

12:27 Drew Yeah.

12:27 Adam They go cave exploring and they go under the lake and you look up, there's a little water on the top, a little dripping. I mean, it's not like it's flowing down, but if there's enough of that, whatever it is above it, it'll kind of get around in there, right?

12:44 Drew Leaks through, yeah.

12:45 Adam Yeah. You know, it's the difference between waterproof and water-resistant.

12:51 Drew Yes, this is water-resistant.

12:53 Adam My penis is waterproof. The vagina is water-resistant.

12:57 Drew Yes.

12:57 Adam Thank you. Jennifer?

13:01 Drew Yeah.

13:02 Adam Did we just talk to you?

13:03 Drew Yes, we did.

13:03 Guest All right.

13:04 Adam True, do your job. I'm tired. Jamie?

13:07 Guest Hello?

13:08 Adam I'm not really tired, I'm just disoriented. Jamie, you're 16. What's up? Well, once again, proving I can do the show in my sleep. Actually, I'm better, more effective. Go ahead, Jamie.

13:19 Caller Okay. I have a friend of mine, she's not bi and I am, and we got drunk, and I don't want to go into a long story, but we messed around, and now she thinks she owns me, but she doesn't say anything like that.

13:33 Drew What do you mean? She's not bi?

13:35 Adam True is the same way. He thinks he owns me, he doesn't say anything, but I know he thinks he owns me.

13:39 Drew That's right. It's just my implicit attitude.

13:41 Adam That's right.

13:42 Caller She's really protective, like she tells me, oh, don't go for him or don't do this, don't do that. And I'm just like, I don't know what to say.

13:49 Drew Why don't you say, hey, knock it off?

13:51 Caller Well, that's what I say, but she just seems like she's my girlfriend. She's like, she owns me.

13:56 Adam What did you do with her when you were drunk?

13:58 Caller Well, I went down on her.

14:00 Drew Oh, boy.

14:00 Caller And she's so anti, she's anti, she's anti like fag, gay, anything. She's like, come on.

14:06 Adam She's not. That's healthy.

14:08 Caller But then I don't get it now because she doesn't act like we, she acts like she knows we did stuff and we talked about it one time, but I don't know what to say to her.

14:16 Adam No, wait a minute. She's anti-gay.

14:19 Caller Yeah, she's like anti-gay.

14:20 Adam Even though she's gay, isn't she?

14:22 Drew Gay tendencies.

14:24 Adam Well, she's bi, right?

14:26 Caller No, she's not.

14:28 Adam You're bi. Which one of you is bi? You're bi and she's not.

14:32 Caller Correct.

14:33 Adam But you went down on her.

14:34 Caller Right. Right.

14:35 Adam I see. And now she acts like she owns you.

14:38 Caller Yeah. And I don't...

14:39 Adam That's strange.

14:41 Caller I don't perceive anything.

14:42 Drew Well, maybe it's that she feels very, very close to her, uncomfortably close. And it's just that's the way she expresses when she feels really tight. Does she treat her boyfriend like that too?

14:50 Caller Well, she hasn't had a boyfriend. She's only had one boyfriend. And I've had a lot of, not to sound like I'm all, God's given me anything, but I've had a lot of boyfriends and I don't treat her.

15:01 Adam Yeah.

15:01 Caller I don't treat her as if...

15:02 Adam We're not surprised by that. Yeah.

15:04 Drew Why so much confusion about your sexual identity?

15:07 Caller What do you mean?

15:08 Adam Well, lots of boyfriends going down on your best friend, you know, why are they acting out?

15:14 Drew Why are you so out of control?

15:16 Caller I have no, I don't know.

15:18 Adam Oh, okay.

15:18 Drew I have no idea.

15:18 Caller I just, I feel if I don't go out with somebody or I don't, if I'm not with somebody, I feel like I'm missing out on something good.

15:25 Adam Yeah.

15:26 Caller But then afterwards I'm like, that wasn't so great.

15:28 Drew Is it, is you're missing out on something good or you're feeling incomplete?

15:31 Caller I think both. I think I feel incomplete and feel.

15:35 Drew And what makes you feel so incomplete? Was there a loss or?

15:39 Caller No, I just feel, I like when I'm with somebody in a relationship, I like for them to be more pushy than I am. I just kind of go along with it.

15:48 Adam All right. Where's your dad?

15:50 Drew Yeah.

15:50 Caller Oh, he's in the house somewhere watching TV.

15:53 Drew Is there sort of two ways to this?

15:55 Adam When you say the house, you mean the big house, the jail?

15:59 Drew I think there's probably two ways to get to die chain. One is the eating disorder route.

16:02 Adam Eating disorder?

16:03 Guest Me?

16:04 Adam Yeah.

16:04 Guest No.

16:05 Adam No.

16:05 Drew The other is sexual abuse.

16:06 Adam Any sexual abuse?

16:08 Caller No. Not at all.

16:10 Adam What made you?

16:11 Caller I have a question. Why do y'all always, not always, but why do y'all say that a lot?

16:16 Adam We don't talk to too many bi or lesbian or gay young people that are sort of-

16:23 Drew Confused.

16:24 Adam Confused and doing a lot of acting out that have something go on.

16:28 Drew Yeah.

16:29 Adam At least they call this show.

16:30 Caller Excuse me?

16:31 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

16:33 Caller When I was 14.

16:34 Adam How old was the guy?

16:35 Guest He's 16, 17, maybe.

16:38 Caller 18, maybe.

16:40 Adam Maybe 18.

16:41 Drew When you say you've been with a lot of guys, how many guys have you been talking about?

16:44 Guest Like two.

16:45 Drew You've been with two guys?

16:47 Adam That's not that many guys.

16:48 Drew We stand corrected. We were imagining something a little different here.

16:51 Adam You said you were with a lot of guys.

16:52 Caller Oh, no. I didn't. I've had a lot of boyfriends.

16:55 Adam I understand.

16:56 Drew She's just exploring. People talk about exploration. Oh, they're just exploring. This is what this probably is. She's just a little out of control, probably even a little depressed and doing things that are, one day she'll look back and go, oh, jeez, what was I up to?

17:11 Adam Yeah. Well, we don't get a lot of true explorers, but this is a real ponce de Leon here. She means it.

17:17 Drew But it's how she acts around her friend. Just be honest.

17:20 Adam Maybe her friend has some feelings.

17:22 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

17:24 Adam I mean, she let her go down on her, and now she's sort of protective and controlling. Maybe her friend has some feelings for her.

17:31 Drew Not as though, I don't think that she'd want to be in a committed relationship, but she has feelings that she can't control. She feels she's responding to it, let's put it that way.

17:40 Adam Right.

17:40 Drew You need to call her on that.

17:41 Adam Ashley?

17:42 Caller Yeah?

17:43 Adam You're 19. What's up?

17:45 Caller I breastfed my son for about a year and a half, and I stopped a few months ago, but I'm still lactating.

17:52 Adam My mom did me for a year and a half too. I think the problem was it was between 13 and 15. I was 13 and a half to about my 15th birthday. I never did it when I was younger. I think she felt bad about that, wanted to sort of make it up.

18:06 Drew Sure.

18:07 Adam Make it up.

18:08 Drew Didn't she get you a wet nurse?

18:10 Adam No, it was her.

18:12 Drew Interesting.

18:12 Adam She wasn't working. She had time.

18:13 Drew Okay. That makes sense.

18:14 Adam Wet nurse is not cheap. How does a wet nurse work, by the way? And what kind of gig is that? I mean, these are nurses that actually let the child breastfeed?

18:26 Drew I guess.

18:26 Adam Do they have to be pregnant themselves? Or is there some sort of sympathetic milk produced? I'm around someone who's hungry, I'll produce milk.

18:38 Drew Women are really amazing, aren't they? No, I don't know how they used to do that. Some women can be stimulated to produce milk just with stimulation, but I bet they got them when they were pregnant and they just kept stimulating them so they could produce milk.

18:50 Adam And this sounds like a lucrative gig, I mean, if you could get work. I mean, if you're one of the better wet nurses Better producers? In town. Yeah, I mean, do they still use this?

19:03 Drew No.

19:04 Adam When did this go out of fashion?

19:05 Drew I don't know.

19:06 Adam And it was a legitimate job, though, wasn't it, at a certain period of time?

19:11 Drew Well, it was, yeah, I think only special people got wet nurses.

19:15 Adam Yeah, I mean, you had to take the silver spoon out of your mouth so you could get to the rent-a-boob, but jeez, talk about one more reason to hate your mom. She farmed her boob out, you know? I mean, got a wet nurse. Too busy.

19:31 Drew Hey, Ashley, is there anything stimulating the breast at this point?

19:35 Caller No, I'm not expressing my milk or anything like that.

19:40 Drew And you have a boyfriend?

19:42 Caller No.

19:43 Drew Okay. Well, sometimes they actually have to, usually it will dry out pretty quickly on its own, but sometimes they have to use a medication called Bromocryptine or Parlidel to get things to shut down. Are you on any medication?

19:55 Caller I take Klonopin as needed for panic attacks.

19:59 Drew All right. That shouldn't perpetuate the breast milk.

20:02 Caller I have another question. Yeah. Sometimes you guys say negative things about teenage parents, but I don't.

20:10 Adam We always do. We're waiting all the time, not sometimes. All the time.

20:15 Caller All the time.

20:15 Adam Yeah.

20:16 Caller But if a person works really hard, and I think that I'm a really great mom, I work hard to go to school and take care of my son.

20:24 Drew How's dad?

20:26 Caller Dad's fine. He's there. We're married.

20:29 Drew Wait a minute. You said you didn't have a boyfriend.

20:31 Caller No. He's my husband.

20:32 Drew Okay. Does he stimulate the breast at all?

20:34 Caller No.

20:34 Okay.

20:35 Adam Why not?

20:36 Caller Well, he's the one that wanted me to stop breastfeeding.

20:40 Adam Why?

20:40 Caller He doesn't like the whole milk thing.

20:43 Drew He didn't want to.

20:44 Adam Sounds like a real winner, this guy. What do you mean he doesn't like the whole milk thing?

20:49 Caller He doesn't like it.

20:50 Drew He doesn't want to be receiving that.

20:53 Adam No.

20:54 Drew He likes her, doesn't like anything produced by her.

20:56 Adam Why doesn't he just stay away from that area?

20:58 Drew Adam.

20:59 Adam He does.

20:59 Drew Come on. You have all people.

21:02 Adam I could leave him alone. I just take a look at him, you know, take care of my milk myself while I looked at her. You know what I'm saying?

21:10 Drew I'm afraid I do.

21:11 Adam Thank you. Pictures worth a thousand words, Drew. You ever hear of that?

21:15 Drew Actually, you bring out actually a very interesting point is that they've studied teenage parents and they do better than you predict. However, what we're sort of speaking from is how difficult it is to be a parent these days and how much resource you need. And, holy Christ, I can't do it. I don't know how the hell this...

21:31 Adam Yeah, Drew's screwing his kids up some fears.

21:33 Drew Or if we even put ourselves in the role of a 17-year-old and imagine ourselves at 17 trying to be a parent or 22 or 25.

21:41 Adam Well, she's married, which is a vastly different than the majority of the people or teens who call this show or anyone who calls this show. Michelle?

21:49 Hello?

21:50 Adam You're 23. What's up?

21:52 Caller Well, I became involved with a 22-year-old man when I was 12 years old.

21:57 Adam Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy behavior.

22:01 Caller And I was with him until I was 18 when I left him. And I spent a long time trying to get over it. And I've been in therapy.

22:13 Drew Trying to get over it.

22:14 Caller Well, no. But I've tried to work through it. And I've never really thought about pursuing a legal suit against him, like taking him to court. And I know I could do that now. But I don't know whether I should do that. Because he's supposed... Well, from what I hear, I haven't seen or heard of him. I mean, I moved away from my town and everything.

22:38 Drew I have two sort of thoughts on this. One is he deserves it. I wish he would save him from other people, or at least make a report. On the other hand, acting out one's anger, as opposed to sort of dealing with it in the therapeutic process, isn't always the best thing. Maybe you ought to just sit with your therapy for a while and see where that takes you.

22:59 Adam Well, and also, direct some of that at your own parents. I mean, for Christ's sake, I don't know what kind of parent lets their 12-year-old date a 22-year-old and then keep that relationship going for six years. What's up with mom and dad, or I should say mom?

23:13 Caller Well, my dad is dead.

23:16 Adam There you go. That's why I'm asking about mom.

23:18 Drew How old was dad when you, how old were you when dad died?

23:21 Caller I was 14, so I had already been with him for like two years.

23:26 Adam How did he die? Killed himself?

23:27 Caller No, he was in a car accident.

23:29 Caller Was he drunk?

23:30 Caller No, the person that was driving was drunk.

23:32 Adam I knew I smelled booze. Was your dad a decent guy?

23:36 Caller Yes.

23:36 Adam Why did he let you date a 22-year-old at 12?

23:40 Caller You know, I did not know what they were thinking, and my mom and I go around and around about this, and she just feels really guilty now, and she, What were they thinking? She's just really sorry.

23:52 Drew Well, what were they thinking? What did she say?

23:53 Caller I don't know. She just says that they were just caught up in their own lives. Like, they got divorced when I was 11, and then-

24:00 Drew That's what caused you to act out.

24:04 Adam Dude, you got a 12-year-old daughter staying at a 22-year-old? Just for fun, how old are you when you're 12? Sixth grade? Seventh grade?

24:13 Drew He's in graduate school.

24:14 Caller It just makes me so mad when I think about it.

24:16 Adam Graduated welding school two years earlier.

24:18 Caller When I think about it now, it just pisses me off when I look back on it. I'm taking this training, actually, to be on a crisis hotline.

24:28 Drew Great.

24:29 Caller That's when I realized I'm taking this training. It's a state certification, and we were having this thing about child abuse. That's when it just first struck me, wait a minute, that wasn't a relationship. That was child abuse.

24:39 Adam When did you lose your virginity to him?

24:44 Caller Well, I didn't actually have sex with him until I was 14. So I knew him for a couple of years.

24:53 Adam Even worse. That guy's like, yeah, I'm courting. He's grooming a 12-year-old. Listen, I'm sorry your dad's dead, and I know your mom's confused and apologizes. They still dropped the ball in a major way. Major. I don't even know if my parents could have pulled that one off. Although they...

25:15 Drew They got close.

25:16 Adam They probably could have given your folks a run for the money. I think they would have had some pretty stiff competition in the out-of-it department. They may have taken that home, but still...

25:27 Drew Actually, I mean, Juan, because her dad was actually dead.

25:29 Adam Yeah, that's true, but her dad died two years into the relationship. I mean, those are the cruciers. I mean, listen, you make it from 12 to 14. The rest is downhill.

25:39 Caller The main thing was that they didn't even really know what I was doing.

25:43 Adam Yeah, they're just out of it.

25:44 Drew They're out of it, yeah. Absolutely. That's not good parenting.

25:47 Adam What did he do? Come pick you up?

25:49 Caller I met him at a park that everyone used to go to.

25:51 Drew Oh, my God.

25:52 Caller He was in a heavy metal band.

25:54 Oh!

25:55 Adam Hold on. Is this Keith Richards?

25:57 Caller Yeah, I thought he was so cool. I just remember, you know.

26:01 Adam What was the name of the band? Just because it's going to be funny.

26:04 Caller He was in a lot of different bands. They all had idiotic names.

26:07 Adam Give me some of the names, because this is going to be good. What was the first band he was in when you were 12?

26:13 Caller Speed Demon.

26:14 Adam Speed Demon.

26:15 Caller Yeah.

26:17 Adam What about after that?

26:18 Drew There's no Deep Purple face.

26:21 Caller Yeah, and he liked all those stupid butt rock bands, too.

26:25 Adam Deep Purple is not stupid.

26:28 Drew What does that mean?

26:28 Adam Come on. Don't make fun of Deep Purple.

26:30 Drew Michelle, but you said-

26:31 Adam I want the names. I want a couple more band names.

26:35 Caller He was in this one.

26:37 Adam Oh, come on. Give me the band name.

26:38 Caller Golgotha.

26:39 Adam Golgotha?

26:41 Caller Golgotha.

26:42 Adam That's like Jesus is Dead Backwards or something.

26:47 Drew Gopunka.

26:48 Adam Gopunka. Oh, Golgotha.

26:49 Caller I see.

26:50 Adam All right. Any other good names?

26:53 Caller I'm trying to think of it. Those are like the main two ones here.

26:56 Adam All right. All right. Well, listen, we'll see him in hell. You sound fine. We're done talking to you.

27:02 Drew Well, yeah. Listen, Michelle, the nice thing is that you do sound fine. You are working on yourself. You've gotten some counseling about this and you're being of service, which is also going to be a great help to you through all this. So keep your wits about you and Godspeed.

27:20 Adam Yeah, enjoy. All right. We're going to break. I just want to say hi to Jeff. Jeff?

27:25 What's going on?

27:26 Adam You're 23.

27:27 Caller Yeah, I am.

27:27 Adam You spend $500 a week at a massage parlor?

27:31 Caller Unfortunately, yes.

27:32 Adam Okay. You must be very relaxed.

27:34 Caller Of course.

27:34 Adam Hold on a second. We're going to take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to young Jeff who drops 500 a week at a massage parlor after this.

27:46 This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

28:23 Yeah.

28:25 Adam Hey, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Well, we did the first half hour of the show. I don't even remember doing it.

28:34 Drew Feels good. We're just starting.

28:36 Adam Oh, you serious? Don't laugh with me. Sometimes I nap so hard, I wake up, my innards are still asleep. You ever get those, like, you ever nap, you go down so hard, and then you wake up and you're awake, like your brain's awake and your eyes are awake, like your legs are moving, but your lungs, and your, like, intestines are still sort of asleep, and you're walking around and you're kind of going, it kind of feels like your parts are still asleep in you a little, especially your lungs, I'm feeling the lungs, like they don't hurt or anything, it's just like...

29:13 Drew You're still breathing wrong. You're still breathing like you were asleep. You're asleep, you're still going...

29:18 Adam Yeah. I mean, it's like your parts, like, it's sort of like, it's like I'm a piece of meat that's thawing, and the outside is good, but the core's still frozen. That's the way I feel. The core of my brain and my gut's still frozen, still asleep, outside, working just fine.

29:40 Caller Whatever.

29:41 Adam Jeff?

29:42 Caller How's it going, guys? Good. Before I start, Adam, I think you're a true philosopher warrior.

29:47 Adam Thank you.

29:47 Drew Whoa, wow. I've been listening for a while, Jeff.

29:49 Adam No kidding.

29:49 Caller Yeah, I have since my college days. My question or problem-

29:54 Drew Where are we in college?

29:55 Caller I went to Loyola, Chicago, for a couple years, and then southern Illinois, and I just finished at Northeastern. So I've been in all directions.

30:04 Caller You got thrown out.

30:06 Caller Pretty much, yeah. My problem is that I've developed this habit of going to massage parlors and receiving a hand job from the ladies there.

30:17 Adam Yeah. Full release.

30:19 Drew Is that what that's called?

30:20 Adam Happy release.

30:21 Caller They call it-

30:22 Adam Reach around.

30:24 Caller Hand release.

30:25 Adam Hand release.

30:26 Drew Hand release.

30:27 Caller They like to make it sound as professional as possible. What?

30:32 Adam Well, you could get just a regular massage for I don't know how much money, but if you want the hand release, it's going to bump you up a little.

30:39 Drew Are these regular massage places?

30:41 Adam No. These are registered at nurses and practitioners.

30:45 Drew No, but I mean, what do the institutions even look like? Why do the police?

30:49 Adam Chinese rioting out front.

30:51 Drew Really?

30:52 Adam That kind of thing. Yeah, I've been to one of those places.

30:54 Caller Some of them are Asian, but a lot of them are American too. But half of them, they just offer you clothing options where you can get yourself off, but the other half, they help you out.

31:06 Adam Yeah, 75 bucks, you get to whack yourself off in the serenity of one of our bunk rooms.

31:12 Caller The ironic thing is, the places where you do yourself, some of them cost more, and I don't know how they stay in business because I'd rather go to the ones where they do it. But anyway, we digress.

31:23 Adam Wait a minute. Now listen, I've never been to a massage parlor before. It doesn't sound, there's a few things I've never done, and there's not that nothing's not wrong with me sexually. Oh, there's plenty wrong. But phone sex, never called one in my life, and never been to a massage parlor. I filmed something at a massage parlor once, a comedy bit, and I can tell you what they look like. But the ones where you get yourself off, how does that go? You go in, they give you a rub down, and then you finish yourself off?

31:57 Drew You pay to do that?

31:58 Caller Yeah, you pay the 50 or 60 dollars for the massage, and once you get in there, it's probably like 100 bucks for them to get nude, and they just get on the table and just pose and stuff.

32:10 Adam And you finish yourself off.

32:12 Caller Right.

32:12 Adam Sort of ironic, you go in for a rub down, they get naked, you pull your Johnson out of your trunks. The masseuse is naked.

32:20 Drew Is this prostitution?

32:22 Caller Yeah, well some of them I think got an adult entertainment license.

32:26 Oh my god.

32:27 Caller They could do that.

32:29 Drew That is bizarre.

32:31 Caller But the other places, it's illegal. I mean, they're giving you a hand job for money.

32:36 Caller Oh my god.

32:37 Adam Right. So if you're spending 500 a week, you go in four or five times a week?

32:45 Caller About, yeah. And recently, the past week, it's been every day.

32:49 Drew Are you with the same person?

32:50 Caller No, I go to different ones and pick different girls. And just today, actually, I got myself an escort. So it's sort of escalating, I mean, this pattern.

32:58 Drew What does that mean? What does that mean?

32:59 Adam When you, wait, it takes a woman home, bangs her.

33:02 Caller You know, I went to a hotel and I called myself up an escort.

33:06 Adam When you get the happy release, where does the release go? I mean, is someone mopping up in there? Do they have some of that butcher paper down on the table? How does that work?

33:17 Drew The image sometimes is very strange for me because I think of release, I think about like poles, clay pigeons and things.

33:22 Adam Yeah, it's like the beginning of the Olympics. Release the pigeons!

33:25 Caller No, it's like, the hounds.

33:28 Pull!

33:30 Caller They're both whites. Anyway, it goes all over. I mean, you know.

33:36 Adam I just want to make sure you don't walk into someone else's happy release that they released 20 minutes earlier before you got in there.

33:43 Caller They usually change the towels.

33:44 Adam Yeah. Someone's got to be on mop up detail over there. That's a rough gig.

33:48 Drew Bizarre. Why won't the police just walk in there with great regularity?

33:51 Caller Well, different counties are on Chicago are different. You know, some of them are a little more relaxed about it. Some of them are strict and shut them down.

33:59 Adam Yeah, they know what's going on.

34:00 Drew That's the point.

34:02 Adam Yeah, I know. But there's only in listen. Oh, for Christ's sake, don't get me going on vice. They're too busy trying to bust madams by having women having having officers poses, you know, Asian businessmen and then having 19 guys with surveillance cameras and the next room and all this. And let me just say one more thing real quick to the cops, because I know we got sued for this last time. I just want to say something. Listen, you idiots, you do what we want you to do, not what you want to whack off to. No one gives a rat's heinie about Heidi Fleiss and her girls, you idiots. Drives me nuts. I don't want to get going on this tangent, but I just, the hair on the back of my nuts stands up every time I hear about how much manpower, how much time is devoted. Whenever I hear about like Pee Wee Herman and how they had like four VICE guys stocking, you know, sitting in the adult theater looking for troublemakers, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. This is where our money is being spent. This is where our resources are going. All I ever hear from cops is, we don't have enough manpower. That's all I ever hear. We don't have enough manpower. We wish we could get to these calls an hour earlier, but we can't. We don't have enough manpower. Yeah, but drive down to Burbank and get yourself a goddamn jaywalking ticket. Go to Burbank, everyone. See how much manpower they got. Oh, they got plenty of manpower. As long as you got money, they got a ton of manpower. As long as someone's getting naked, they got a ton of manpower. It's just when the actual crime is going down, they're a little bit light on the manpower. You do what we want you to do, you pussies. Not what you feel like doing. It drives me nuts.

35:53 Drew I suspect our Culver City friends will be here any moment.

35:56 Adam No, I don't care. I don't have a problem with them. I drive 65,000 Venice every night. They don't give me any trouble. I like those guys. All right. So, Jeff, where do you make all this money?

36:08 Caller I don't. I pretty much spend whatever I make on this.

36:10 Adam I know. That's still a pretty good sum. I mean, if you're dropping 500 bills a week on prostitution, you got to be making some cash, don't you?

36:23 Caller I'm making a decent amount.

36:24 Drew There's taxes and eating and housing.

36:26 Adam Yeah. All right. Hey, Jeff, you got to whack yourself off before you leave the house.

36:32 Caller I started with that. That's what this has escalated to. And now it's escalated to actually have had sex with them a couple of times.

36:39 Drew Are you worried about this behavior?

36:40 Caller Yeah, because I mean-

36:42 Drew Because of the financial consequences.

36:44 Caller And the condom broke the other day.

36:45 Drew Oh, boy.

36:48 Caller So, the other question is, I got these small red bumps on my upper thigh, but I don't know if-

36:57 Adam Hey, Jeff, you gotta kill yourself. I rarely say this is a call.

37:00 Drew That could be herpes. Could be molluscum contagiosum. But really, Jeff, if you want to- There's a couple ways to go about this.

37:07 Adam He's gotta go to FNA or whatever that's called.

37:10 Drew Go to SNA or you might check out the website, the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, NCSAC, and they have referrals in your area for people that are used to treating sex addicts. SA or you can get referrals to SA through AA. It's a real serious problem, believe it or not. You can get yourself an individual therapist. That's the other way to get this dealt with.

37:33 Adam I've decided Florida is the biggest abuser of this cop sitting around thing. I was thinking about it. I was watching the news the other night, and somebody else got popped for doing something in Florida and taking their top off or something. I realized that Lenny Bruce, Jim Morrison, and Pee Wee Herman all basically got brought down in Florida.

37:51 Drew Really?

37:52 Adam Yeah, it's all Florida. Yeah, they're the weirdest, most uptight over there. Screwed up. Eddie?

37:59 Eddie?

38:01 Adam Oh boy.

38:02 Drew Caller who goes by Eddie.

38:03 Adam Eddie or 15?

38:05 Caller Oh, hello? Hey, what's going on?

38:07 Caller Oh, I didn't know I was on. Anyway, I was molested when I was 13.

38:16 Drew By whom?

38:17 Caller By a 10th grader.

38:19 Caller Yeah.

38:20 Caller Our school is like 7 to 12, and I'm now in 9th grade and I'm 15. I was wondering if I would be like a rapist or molester when I grow up.

38:33 Drew It's sort of like you were raped more than molested, right?

38:35 Adam Well, what happened?

38:37 Caller Well, I was sort of like in the bathroom taking a dump, and this guy just walked in.

38:44 Drew He used the guy's name. Who was the guy?

38:47 Caller I have no idea.

38:48 Adam Eddie Haskell. And he walked in.

38:52 Drew You said he was a 10th grader?

38:53 Caller Yeah.

38:54 Drew How do you know if he's 10th grader if you have no idea who he is?

38:57 Caller Well, I guess. He looked like he was 10th grade.

39:01 Adam Uh-huh. I see. Yeah, I can tell what it is. I can tell the difference between a 10th grader and 11th grader pretty easily. And so he walked in, what did he do to you?

39:09 Caller Well, he, you know, harassed me and stuff.

39:12 Adam Yeah. While you're on the toilet?

39:15 Caller No, he took me off.

39:16 Adam He took you off the toilet while you're taking a dump?

39:19 Caller Yeah.

39:20 Adam He let you wipe?

39:22 Caller Yeah.

39:23 Adam Yeah.

39:23 Caller He wiped me.

39:24 Adam He wiped for you?

39:26 Caller Yeah.

39:26 Adam Okay. That's nice. And he gave you a happy reach around the full release?

39:33 Caller What?

39:33 Drew Happy release.

39:34 Adam And so he rubbed you and then what?

39:37 Caller You know, he sort of went at me.

39:39 Adam Yeah. What do you mean went at you?

39:40 Caller Like anal.

39:41 Adam Anally?

39:42 Caller Yeah.

39:42 Adam Oh, no wonder he wiped. So he got in you, huh? And how long did that go on?

39:47 Caller Like 10 minutes.

39:48 Adam 10 minutes? Well, let me explain something about anal rape. Two minutes can feel like 20. You know what I mean? You sure it was a full 10 minutes? Because that's been my experience, especially dare or dry anal rape.

40:01 Drew Is this Adam or Ace Rockolla?

40:05 Caller I don't know. It's like about 10 minutes. I'm not sure.

40:07 Adam It's about 10 minutes. And did you scream?

40:10 Caller Well, he said if he screamed, he'd like kill me.

40:12 Adam And with what?

40:13 Caller Or he'd punch me.

40:13 Adam Oh, he'd punch you?

40:14 Caller Yeah. He like beat me up.

40:16 Adam He beat you up?

40:17 Caller Oh, he's like terrified.

40:19 Adam You're terrified. Yeah.

40:20 Caller Yeah.

40:20 Adam And then what happened?

40:22 Caller And he told me if I ever told anybody, he'd come out and he'd seriously hurt me.

40:27 Adam All right. So you never told anyone?

40:28 Caller No.

40:29 Adam And you never saw him again?

40:31 Caller No. I mean, sometimes I saw a glimpse of him at school, but I like ran away.

40:35 Adam Out of the corner of your eye?

40:37 Drew I never saw him and then I saw him.

40:38 Adam Right. All right. Yeah, you'll probably be a rapist, but that's not a bad gig. The benefits are good. Pay is not what it could be, but like I said, a lot of perks, a lot of perks, a lot of travel, a lot of raping, you know, I mean, it's right in the title. All right, Eddie?

40:56 Caller Well, I mean, does this mean I'm also bisexual right now? Could that be like why?

41:03 Adam Well, it could be.

41:04 Drew Will you bust him, please?

41:05 Adam It opens up a lot of doors from a raping standpoint. You rape guys, you rape women. Again, not much pay, but not a bad job, not a bad vocation.

41:14 Caller Well, it could be like a pedophile and stuff.

41:16 Adam Could be a pedophile, pedophile slash rapist.

41:19 Drew Zoophile.

41:21 Adam Again, zoophile with the animals. You like animals, Eddie?

41:25 Caller No, not really.

41:26 Adam Not really? Okay. Well, that's something that can sometimes you get a taste for that a little bit later on in life. Let's not push things.

41:34 Caller Well, should I like seek counseling or something?

41:37 Adam Yes, you should seek counseling. Now, don't go to a guidance counselor. He's just going to tell you to be a rapist. That's what mine told me. As of mine, when I talked to my guidance counselor, he was like, I finished my aptitude test. He was like, let's see. Well, he could be a janitor or a-

41:55 Drew Big brother.

41:56 Adam A Catholic big brother or a rapist. I went with janitor. Actually, it was carpet cleaning or raping, I think were my two choices.

42:07 Drew Why don't we bust him a little bit?

42:08 Adam Really? I don't know. Hey, Eddie? Yeah. All right. We don't believe you.

42:14 Drew Not for a second.

42:15 Adam No. It just seems like you're really lying a lot. You're not doing a good job.

42:20 Drew No.

42:20 Caller What?

42:21 Adam You didn't do a good job with lying on this question. That was the problem.

42:26 Drew Too many loopholes.

42:27 Adam Yeah.

42:28 Caller I was molesting. You guys don't care.

42:30 Adam No. Not really. We never care. We just pretend to care on certain calls, but we're not pretending to care on your call.

42:37 Drew No, I care, but I care when it comes to the real thing.

42:39 Adam Drew pretends to care, but not caring. That's right.

42:41 Drew I'm offended at the fake calls because they actually belittle the people who actually have these fake calls.

42:46 Adam Right now, there's truly a 13-year-old who was actually raped in the bathroom.

42:52 Drew Anyway- Nothing rang true about that story.

42:54 Adam No. Didn't feel like it would have happened to him for a second.

42:58 Drew Well, plus lifting him off the toilet.

43:00 Adam He was taking a dump.

43:02 Drew And then not- A 13-year-old and a 15-year-old we're talking about would just be- I mean, unless Eddie had a long history of profound abuse, which this could have happened to somebody with that history, would have been the crap. But a 15-year-old fought like hell to get away from it if he didn't want to be there.

43:17 Adam It'd be like a badger in a mountain line going at it in there. It'd just be a fur flying everywhere, stuff getting knocked over. I said it last week. You couldn't get a piece of a piano string in my ass that had been frozen. You dumped liquid nitrogen. If you took a piece of piano wire and you dipped it in liquid nitrogen so it was stiff, and then you dipped it in KY, and then you got a running start, you couldn't get it in my asshole if we were fighting, if we were scrapping. It was impossible.

43:47 Drew You were sitting there relaxed.

43:48 Adam Impossible.

43:50 Drew Yeah, but if somebody is obviously immediately report, if this thing ever happens to anybody, immediately report.

43:55 Adam All right. We'll be back.

43:57 Caller Let's have some more fun.

43:59 Okay, let's do it. Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

44:07 Caller Well, here's how it's sampled.

44:42 Adam Yep, it's the Love Line.

44:43 Drew Firstly, my favorite band.

44:45 Adam Yeah.

44:46 Drew Pennywise.

44:46 Adam Pennywise. It's a good sounding song, though. I like that song. All right, we're Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, in the back of the phones. Peter?

44:58 Caller Looking for my shoes.

45:00 Adam Peter? Peter, have you found your shoes?

45:03 Caller My sandal.

45:04 Adam Looking for your sandal.

45:06 Drew You found it?

45:07 Adam Nope, I hung up the phone. Oh, wow. Did you not?

45:10 Caller No, I didn't know it was on.

45:11 Drew Oh, wow, that was bizarre.

45:13 Adam Jeanette?

45:13 Caller Yeah?

45:14 Adam You're 18.

45:15 Caller Yeah.

45:16 Adam What's up?

45:17 Caller I've been kind of with this guy off and on through like my, like off and on through all high school and everything. And we had a kid together and she's about seven weeks old now. And right now he's just treating me like crap. He's being a total jerk. He doesn't even really acknowledge it. I'm around.

45:37 Caller You won't say hi or anything.

45:38 Caller And I just, I need to know if I should talk to him and say, hey, what's your problem or?

45:44 Drew Wait a minute. He, since you've been pregnant or since the child has been born?

45:48 Caller Well, when I was pregnant, he really didn't even come by that much. He came by every once in a while, but he didn't really want to have anything to do with it.

45:55 Drew So is he done with this relationship?

45:57 Caller I don't know.

45:58 Drew Why don't you ask him?

45:59 Adam Sort of seems like it though, doesn't it?

46:01 Caller Yeah, kind of. But we, we've been like this for like the last four years.

46:06 Adam So you've been not talking very much for the last four years?

46:08 Caller No, we've talked and then we've like broken up and then gotten back together.

46:13 Adam Why did you have a kid with this guy?

46:15 Caller It was an accident.

46:17 Adam You couldn't have given the kid up for adoption?

46:19 Caller Well, that was the plan and then he changed his mind.

46:21 Drew He changed his mind? You're in charge here, Jeanette.

46:25 Adam What? He's an idiot. Why are you listening to him for?

46:28 Caller Well, because his family is really close to mine.

46:32 Drew Oh, damn. Now, seven weeks, two months into life, you're not going to give that child up for adoption.

46:39 Adam Sure you will. Give it on up.

46:41 Drew Now you're screwing with the child again.

46:43 Adam Seven weeks?

46:44 Drew You're screwing it away now.

46:45 Adam The kid doesn't know where he is. He still thinks he's in the womb. Give that kid up for adoption.

46:50 Caller Well, I wanted to keep her, too.

46:51 Adam I know you did.

46:53 Drew Don't blame him.

46:53 Adam Of course. So don't blame him. Give that kid up for adoption. Do the right thing.

46:58 Caller Okay.

46:59 Adam Yeah. I mean, really, what are you, living at home?

47:01 Caller Yeah.

47:02 Adam Okay. Jeanette, let me give you the situation. I'm going to tell you the truth. This guy, he may be in, he may be out, he'll be in and out. He's not going to be consistent. He's not a great guy. He's not going to be a good father. He's not going to be a good boyfriend slash husband slash whatever.

47:21 Drew Certainly not his age. How old is he?

47:23 He's 19.

47:24 Adam He's 19. He's an idiot. He cares more about his car than he does about his kid, right?

47:29 Yeah.

47:30 Adam Yeah, he works on his car?

47:31 Yeah.

47:32 Adam Yeah, I know this guy. He's got grease on his cuticles. He's a dirt head. Listen, he's not going anywhere. What's he do for a living?

47:40 Caller He does construction.

47:41 Adam Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. Not doing anything.

47:47 Drew Pick a limb of his life.

47:48 Adam He doesn't even know what he's... No, he's just doing like, he's probably just doing labor. He's probably just like, stacking wood all day or something. Where's he working? Has he got some uncle that has an outfit or something?

48:00 Caller He works with his dad. I think they do ditch lining or something like that.

48:07 Adam He's doing trenching.

48:09 Caller Yeah, that's it.

48:10 Adam Yeah, he's digging trenches, laying in a pipe. All right, listen, Jeanette, I've got this guy all sussed out. He's an idiot. He's a loser. He's probably got one of those mullet haircuts. What kind of haircuts has he got? Shaved. Shaved?

48:26 Drew Completely shaved.

48:26 Adam Yeah.

48:27 Drew That's the new mullet.

48:28 Adam He shaved his mullet off. Yes, it is the new idiot's mullet is the shaved head. All right, give this kid up for adoption. Break up with this guy. Get yourself a job and move out of the house and start new. Okay. That's what you've got to do. Forget it. You're overwhelmed. It's not going to work out. I know you're freaked out. You love your kid and everything. You'll meet a nice guy in a couple of years. You'll have a regular family. That'll be fine. Can you do that?

48:58 Caller Yeah.

48:58 Adam Yeah. Because you're not up to raising this kid, are you?

49:01 Caller No.

49:02 Adam No, you're not. Good. You're a kid yourself. You made a mistake. Fine. Don't make yourself pay for the next 20 years.

49:09 Drew Don't make the kid pay.

49:10 Adam Don't make the kid pay. Don't make me pay, literally.

49:12 Okay.

49:13 Drew Literally.

49:13 Adam All right. Give the kid up.

49:15 Okay.

49:15 Adam Get the kid adopted and break up with this idiot.

49:18 Okay.

49:19 Adam Thank you. There we go. There you go. Enjoy. I think that worked. All right. Hold on. Jessica?

49:26 Guest Yeah.

49:26 Adam You're 14.

49:27 Guest Yeah.

49:27 Adam You have sex with strangers?

49:31 Guest Basically.

49:32 Adam Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. She's 14. Come on.

49:35 Guest Yeah.

49:36 Adam You think you're addicted to sex?

49:37 Guest Well, yeah.

49:39 Adam Okay. All right. Fair enough. Hold on a second.

49:41 Caller All right.

49:43 Adam You there?

49:43 Caller Yeah.

49:44 Adam Yeah. We're going to take a quick break, then we'll come back and talk to you about your sex addiction. Okay?

49:48 Caller Okay.

49:48 Adam How many guys you've been with at 14?

49:51 Caller Four.

49:51 Adam Four. All right. Hold on. I was, I got to four. Thirty-six? Come on. Be fair. We'll be back in a second.

50:03 Drew LeBan and Pearl and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

50:39 Adam All right, we're gonna take a quick 10 second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just 10 seconds.

50:44 This is Love Line on Radio Station.

51:00 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right. Let's get ourselves back on the phone and get back with Jessica's 14 years old. She's had sex with four guys at the tender age of 14. You have sex with strangers, and you're addicted to sex by your own admission.

51:21 Guest Yeah.

51:21 Drew What do you mean, strangers?

51:23 Guest Well, I go, I visit one of my friend's house or something, or I go out with a friend, and I meet a guy that she knows, and I've had sex with them.

51:33 Drew So just somebody you don't know, you've never met before.

51:35 Guest Yeah, I know for like less than an hour.

51:37 Drew Well, what are you up to? Why are you doing this?

51:40 Guest I don't know.

51:41 Drew What does it do for you?

51:43 Guest I don't know. I just-

51:45 Drew Guess. You had to guess what you were doing.

51:48 Guest I don't know.

51:49 Adam Hold on, Drew, can I go out to the car and smoke a cigarette or something while you're going through this arduous ordeal?

51:56 Guest Well, one time I was getting high with a guy and then just things led to another and I didn't really stop it. Then like one time, three times, the other three, they just like keep on asking. I get sick and tired and all of a sudden they just keep on, they just do things and they lead it on and I get turned on and I do it.

52:21 Caller All right. Where's your dad?

52:25 Guest Well, he's kind of in my life. We've had a fight. We've had a couple fights since he came back in my life about three years ago.

52:33 Drew Where was he in the meantime?

52:36 Guest About five years ago, he was getting his act together and everything because he was like on drugs and alcoholic and everything.

52:42 Drew Did he ever physically abuse you?

52:43 Guest No, I've never been hit by my parents.

52:46 Adam Yeah, I'm not getting that. I'm just getting-

52:48 Drew Just out of control.

52:49 Adam I need attention.

52:49 Drew Yeah, I need help.

52:50 Adam I need a male attention. It feels good to have men want you, right? Yeah. Yeah, like your dad never wanted you and now these guys want you, and that feels good.

53:02 Drew And yet, it's always as a victim role, though. It's not just wanting it. It's these abusers, adder, adder, adder.

53:08 Adam You're right.

53:09 Drew How old are these guys?

53:11 Guest They range from my age up to 17 at the oldest.

53:15 Adam I see. All right. Well, you realize you're kind of acting out. Can you stop that, please?

53:20 Guest Well, I haven't done it since the late of January because I've had a boyfriend that I really do like, and he won't do it, but-

53:28 Adam And he won't what?

53:31 Guest He won't go all the way till he's married.

53:35 Drew Interesting change of direction.

53:36 Adam Wow. Change of direction. That's hitting a parked semi.

53:40 Drew But Jessica-

53:40 Adam That's not a change of direction. That's like you running full speed one way and getting swatted the other direction.

53:46 Drew Jessica, understand that that is the right solution to your problem.

53:49 Adam Just stay with him.

53:50 Drew Just closeness with people that care about you.

53:51 Adam Does he know about these guys?

53:53 Guest He's known that I've had sex and stuff. I've just never gone into detail.

53:57 Adam Yes, don't ever go into detail.

54:00 Drew That's not important. You were in pain. You were looking for solutions. You were looking up, barking up the wrong tree.

54:04 Adam Yeah, you didn't enjoy yourself, and everyone had a smaller penis than his.

54:08 Guest And like in December, I had this sex period. I had sex once in October, and then I had it twice in January. And in December, I got this like mark in my inner thigh, and it's still been there. It looks kind of like a ringworm without the ring. And sometimes I get like a few red spots, like little tiny ones, like a little tiny drop size.

54:32 Drew Yeah, probably fungus. So you might try some low-trimming over-the-counter, see if that takes care of it.

54:38 Adam Listen here, all you a-hole pops that are listening to this show. You screw with your daughter, don't worry. She'll get attention. Absolutely. It's not like me. I didn't have a choice. Well, my dad didn't pay me any attention. My mom didn't really pay me any attention. Again, they weren't abusive. No one smacked me or anything. They were just into their own crap. You know, we're kind of on our own. And I would have gladly spiraled into a world of indiscriminate sex with women. Gladly.

55:11 Drew Gladly! You were accelerating down that road.

55:14 Adam Yeah, I had all the makings except for the part about actually having sex. What I mean is, I grew up in a semi-dysfunctional family. People didn't pay much attention to anybody. And my sister ran away from home when she was, you know, 13. She had herself like a 17-year-old boyfriend. And that was it. I mean, she went down that road. That's what she did. I just couldn't. I mean, being a male, I couldn't get my goddamn ass laid, you know? But I don't blame any of these women. I mean, if nobody shows you any affection, nobody shows you any attention, and you go out and find it somewhere. And the thing that's tough about being a woman is, is you can find it anywhere, all the time. Go to the park, go to the internet, go to a party. It's there. Teeming with idiots. Dying to give you attention. It's not gonna cure you, but you'll find it. And you'll get distraction if that's what you're looking for. Oh no, not me. That's the problem.

56:14 Drew It's never what the fantasy they imagine.

56:17 Adam Guys have sports. That's about it. Go out and beat the crap out of someone playing football or something. But you never could. Had I had that ability to go out and get women, had the biology's been 180 degrees different from a societal standpoint, meaning had we lived in a world where I was sort of like a woman and the women were like men.

56:40 Drew You'd be a stripper.

56:41 Adam I'd be doing, I would have done my first snuff film at 14 and that would have been the end of my career. Michelle?

56:49 Caller Yeah.

56:49 Adam As it is, I'm going to do my first one next year. Michelle, what's going on?

56:54 Caller Nothing. I've been sleeping with my boyfriend for eight months and we're each other's first. The only problem is that every time that I have to come, it's always at the same time. So he has to pull out. But today...

57:07 Drew Wait a minute. You're using withdrawal as a birth control?

57:12 Caller No.

57:12 Caller His dick.

57:15 Adam I see.

57:16 Caller Okay. We're having sex, right?

57:19 Drew Michelle, you're using withdrawal as a birth control?

57:21 Adam No. I think she's having orgasm the same time he's having orgasm. You're saying, why is he pulling out? Why can't he stay in?

57:30 Caller That's not my question. No.

57:31 Drew That's my question, though. Why is he pulling out?

57:34 Caller Why? Well, sometimes he's wearing a condom and we're just scared that something might spill out.

57:38 Adam Sometimes.

57:40 Caller Exactly.

57:41 Adam What about the other times?

57:44 Caller They're not on him and I don't have any.

57:47 Drew That's when you're going to get pregnant. Anyway, let's not belabor that point.

57:50 Caller Oh, God.

57:51 Adam Hold on.

57:52 Caller Hold on.

57:54 Adam I got to say, I got to get on the PI system for a second. Attention, tards. I do not know who you think you're speaking to, but we understand what we're asking, so please answer.

58:08 Caller All righty.

58:09 Adam I mean, it's like you're on the prosecution is saying to you, so you ran over that old lady on your way home from work. I don't run over an old person every day on my way home from work, if that's what you're asking. No, we're asking about this particular day. Well, yes, I was driving home from work and you ran over, well, I do not always run over an old woman. No, so you're wrong. I understand. He pulls out because he's not wearing a condom.

58:38 Caller Exactly.

58:39 Adam And you cannot have an orgasm or you cannot continue your orgasm because he's pulling out.

58:44 Caller Correct.

58:45 Adam Which is the first damn question that Drew asked.

58:47 Drew Why don't you go on the pill?

58:50 Caller Okay, well, I was, but I missed it. And I'm not sure if you could double up on the same day. Or how all that works.

58:56 Drew Yes, you can.

58:56 Caller Okay, well, I'm gonna get back on it.

58:58 Adam All right, little tardette, get that back on. No, I am, I am. And then he can happily stay in you and you can finish your orgasm together.

59:06 Caller You know what? That was not my question.

59:08 Drew What's your question?

59:09 Caller Okay, thanks. My question was that, how do you exact, because today, I was at that point and he didn't have to, and I think orgasm, but when do you exactly know? Because on a guy, it all shoots out, but.

59:21 Drew Yeah. You know, Michelle, when you no longer have to ask that question.

59:26 Caller Okay. Because.

59:27 Drew No.

59:27 Caller No.

59:28 Drew No, because.

59:29 Caller No, because.

59:30 Adam Because what?

59:32 Caller No, I don't know, because I just, I don't know.

59:35 Adam Have you had an orgasm before?

59:36 Drew No, she never had an orgasm.

59:37 Caller No, exactly. We're each other's first and I never have.

59:40 Adam All right. Well, then why did you start by saying you have?

59:43 Caller No, I said today. It seems I thought I did, but I wasn't sure how you exactly, exactly.

59:49 Caller All right. Well, you're not having one.

59:50 Drew You'll know. That question will no longer be in your mind.

59:55 Adam It's a very, very good point.

59:56 Drew The fact that you asked the question means it hasn't happened.

59:59 Adam Yes, about the orgasm. But God bless you for asking, but no, you'll know.

1:00:05 Drew Ann, you have Ann's around now. Maybe she can give us some pointers, the masturbation pointers.

1:00:10 Adam I don't know if Ann's still tub gal after the pregnancy. I'm not sure how that works.

1:00:14 Drew Well, we haven't talked to her in a while about this.

1:00:15 Adam Ann, once you belly up to the mic there, and tell us now that you're without children.

1:00:21 Caller I'm so busy. I don't have time for any of that.

1:00:27 Drew By the way, this is the pre and post delivery stuff. Remember, we occasionally talked to couples where there's been a baby, and you don't really realize how much of an impact that has on everybody, especially mom.

1:00:37 Adam Well, producer Ann just gave birth to twins, and well, it's been five, six months now. But first off, were you hornier when you were pregnant? I mean, how did that biology go?

1:00:50 Caller You are, but you're so big and so uncomfortable that it's not worth it.

1:00:56 Drew How about afterwards?

1:00:57 Caller No.

1:00:58 Drew You're going to shut down afterwards?

1:00:59 Caller Yeah.

1:01:00 Drew And busy?

1:01:00 Caller Don't even look at me.

1:01:01 Drew Shut down and busy.

1:01:02 Really?

1:01:03 Drew By the way, I visited a house or bathroom shrine.

1:01:06 Oh, really?

1:01:06 Drew It's a special temple.

1:01:08 Adam Oh, yeah. Certainly. Well, that's her place.

1:01:11 Drew But now it's just Philip Ami equipment.

1:01:14 Adam Oh, my God.

1:01:15 Caller Little duckies and...

1:01:17 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. It went from a brothel to a Hobo Kelly's living room. That's horrible.

1:01:25 Caller Yeah.

1:01:25 Adam It looked like a Turkish whorehouse this time last year. Now it just looks like a romper room. It sucks the sex right out of you then, right?

1:01:35 Drew Sex and soul.

1:01:36 Adam And soul. But listen, Anne, you'll be back. I'm sure you'll be back.

1:01:40 Caller I'm hoping so.

1:01:41 Drew You have to work at it though. You have to work at coming back.

1:01:43 Adam Really?

1:01:44 Caller Drew, how long does it take?

1:01:45 Drew Multiple. She has multiples. I mean, that is a special bond, special experience. We'll talk. It sometimes requires some attention, special kinds of attention.

1:01:56 Adam Really?

1:01:57 Drew Well, you have to literally figure out what's going on because so much goes on with multiple moms from the stress to the depression. After fertility treatment, the biology shutdown is huge.

1:02:09 Adam Right.

1:02:09 Drew They have to be assessed for that too.

1:02:11 Adam Yeah. How's Doug doing? Is he all right?

1:02:15 Caller You want to call him?

1:02:16 Adam Well, I mean-

1:02:17 Caller He's really glad that I'm back at work.

1:02:19 Adam Here's- I'm sure you're driving him crazy.

1:02:22 Drew He's got his video camera.

1:02:23 Caller Exactly.

1:02:24 Adam Yeah. But now, Anne, did you let your husband watch a video, take care of himself? I mean, you weren't going to be there for him?

1:02:32 Drew Who do you think you're talking to? It's Anne.

1:02:35 Adam I know. I know.

1:02:36 Caller I didn't say he couldn't, but I didn't put it in for him.

1:02:39 Adam Nothing beats a good porno movie. Right. All right. So he didn't- he took care of himself.

1:02:45 Caller Oh, yeah. I'm sure he did.

1:02:46 Adam All right. Listen, I think, and I know women aren't wired this way, but if you realize, and be truthful, Ian, can you do this? If you realize, hey, my biology is, I'm shut down. I mean, I had twins. I'm out of service for a few months now. Things may not be right for a couple of fortnights. I can still go ahead and give him a little something to tide him over. I mean, do you work that way or if it ain't good for me, it ain't good for anyone and it's not happening?

1:03:16 Caller No. What's nice is he doesn't ask, therefore, I feel like-

1:03:20 Drew Therefore, it never happens.

1:03:22 Caller Before I go to sleep. No.

1:03:23 Adam I mean, he's not putting a full court press on you, so you feel like you throw him a bone every once in a while. Exactly.

1:03:28 Caller If he was hounding me, I'd tell him to get lost.

1:03:31 Adam Yeah, it's great.

1:03:32 Drew Isn't that nice? See? Because you're thinking about telling women just to roll over and just-

1:03:37 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, I've learned my lesson. You cannot hound women sexually. They start trying out. I mean, it's like that time lapse photography of the rains hit the Serengeti and then it starts drying out, all the puddles start going, and then the fish start dying, and you see a bunch of animal carcasses lying around, and then there's a bunch of cracks in the mud. I mean, that's what happens. It's real fast-paced. It's the time lapse stuff, but that's what happens to a woman's vagina when you start bugging her. Come on, come on, a little something. What do you say? I mean, they can't stand it. Drives them nuts. See, a guy, I think, the way guys are sexually is like if we didn't feel like sex at all, and the woman said, hey, listen, I'm really horny, and it's been like six weeks, and you ain't put now, and I'll tell you what, I know you ain't into it, but I'll turn the TV on. You can hear the TV. I'll turn some talk radio on. You can listen to the car guys or something on Sunday morning, and you listen to those guys and just go down on me for 10 minutes, and just let me blow a little steam off. I think most guys would be like, yeah, all right, whatever. I can have the TV on? Sure, I'll take care of that. I mean, not into it myself, but what the hell? You know what I mean? They could actually sort of turn it into a mechanical process that needed to be sort of dealt with or addressed and take themselves out of the equation. Like, don't you think 90% of guys could do that?

1:05:04 Drew Now that they do that, they would do it instantly. It would be like, now.

1:05:08 Adam Yeah, I know they do it now, but we're thinking because guys are horny.

1:05:12 Drew No, no, no, the point is there would be no need for receptivity and for build up and it's like pow, you want me to do? That's what I'm going to do? All right, let's go.

1:05:20 Adam Yeah. Oh, and you could barter it with a guy. Like you could go, you could say to a guy, you know how we're supposed to go antique shopping? We're going to the Rose Bowl, go to the swap meet this Sunday and kill about nine hours over there. Well, you pulled along a wagon with a bunch of lamps in it. Tell you what, you go down on me, you stay home, sonny, watch ball. I'd be like, your skirt be over his head before he even stopped finishing what he was eating. And I'll be like, yeah, I mean, that'd be it. You could barter it with him. You'd say like, listen, I'm going to make you a nice pot roast tonight and maybe I'll clean the garage out. Just get down there. Get right down. And really, this situation would work if it was reversed. And women are like, I mean, you imagine saying to a woman who's like pregnant or something, kind of shut down, listen, how about a little Humsky? Just kind of, you know, just kind of take the edge off. Come on, baby. Five minutes, I'll be done in five. Come on.

1:06:10 Drew Rolling pin fly at you.

1:06:11 Adam We'll turn the view on. I'll put a mirror on my belly. You can watch it. It'll reflect off the TV set. Yeah, you just get whacked with a mop or something. All right. All right.

1:06:25 Caller If only women could be men.

1:06:26 Adam What a utopia we'd be living in. Blair?

1:06:29 Guest Yeah.

1:06:29 Adam You're 13.

1:06:30 Caller Yeah.

1:06:31 Adam What's up?

1:06:32 Guest First, I want to say that I love you guys.

1:06:35 Caller And I've been listening to you guys for three years.

1:06:38 Adam Wow. Thanks. Since you're 10.

1:06:40 Caller Yeah.

1:06:41 Caller Oh, boy.

1:06:43 Guest Well, here's the problem. Every time I wear a thong, I have like a clear discharge. I think it's from my vagina. And I don't know if it's me getting ready for my period or what.

1:06:55 Drew Yes, probably is. Do you think maybe you just notice it when you're wearing a thong?

1:06:59 Guest Yeah, because the thong's like a red color.

1:07:02 Drew Yeah, I think it's just you notice it then is the deal.

1:07:05 Guest Oh, OK. So.

1:07:06 Drew And it's normal to have some increased discharge at the priority period. And it will be not so clear as you get older, too, I suspect.

1:07:12 Adam Yeah. Where are you getting those thongs at 13?

1:07:15 Guest I got it at the Blink-22 concert.

1:07:18 Drew How weird is it we're just talking about those guys?

1:07:19 Adam We're just talking about Mark and the Blinksters about 10 minutes ago.

1:07:23 Guest Yeah, he's my husband. Just joking.

1:07:27 Adam He's your husband?

1:07:28 Caller No, I wish.

1:07:29 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:29 Drew Makes it even weirder, doesn't it?

1:07:30 Adam Yeah. They sell underpants at the concert?

1:07:34 Guest What?

1:07:35 Adam They sell underpants at the concert?

1:07:37 Guest Yeah, they're Blink-22 thongs.

1:07:39 Adam Oh, really?

1:07:40 Caller Yeah.

1:07:41 Adam And do you have other thongs or just the Blink-182 thongs?

1:07:44 Caller I wear them with every outfit.

1:07:47 Adam I got a fog hat jockstrap that I got in 78, I think it was. Remember they're out here for the Us Festival? Yeah.

1:07:59 Caller All right.

1:08:00 Adam Blair, listen, I don't approve of 13-year-olds wearing thong baths, but if it's a Blink-182 official merchandise, I suspect it's okay.

1:08:09 Caller All right.

1:08:11 Adam I don't know who I was talking to about these thongs, but I'll tell you, you know any wearings I'd get out of one thong?

1:08:17 Drew One.

1:08:17 Adam One. That'd be it. You'd have to cut it.

1:08:19 Drew They would never find it again.

1:08:20 Adam Well, you'd have to cut it off and it'd be ruined. Listen, I ruin underpants that aren't thong. I mean, I get a pair of briefs stuffed up to my ass half the day. I could only imagine what a thong. Guys, no way could guys wear a thong.

1:08:35 Drew You're like Ilium.

1:08:36 Adam Yeah, be destroyed. Yeah, I'd be eating a sandwich. You'd be like, I'm tasting an elastic. What is this? That's my underwear. It's push up my ass. Hold on. I got to fart and get this out. Don't belch. You'll implode. You belch, son, and your innards are going to come out of your mouth. Your only chance is to fart. Oh my God. I think I finally found my food. I had such colossal gas this weekend. It was amazing. It was astounding. Astounding. I drank two milkshakes in the course for about 20 minutes and just never stopped. Milkshake. A lot of dairy.

1:09:16 Drew I think I'll do it.

1:09:17 Adam But this is dairy on dairy. Yeah, yeah.

1:09:19 Drew Milk, ice cream and milk.

1:09:21 Adam Two large milkshakes.

1:09:22 Drew How did that happen?

1:09:24 Adam We were shooting something like Havasu. I was like, mouth tastes like a sewer for the whole day, so I told someone to go get me a milkshake. They got me a milkshake. I sucked that thing down in no time at all. And then somebody else ordered a milkshake, didn't want it, and like handed it to me. I sucked that one down in no time at all. And within about 20 minutes, we were just blasting the roof off of the place. And for the next day and a half on the bus. Oh, the bus.

1:09:46 Drew Oh, you must have been proud.

1:09:47 Adam Dinner in a motel room. Huge, huge. I was tremendous. I'm still riding a natural high on this. All right, Daniel. Daniel, you're 16.

1:10:00 Caller Hi.

1:10:01 Caller I've been going out with my girlfriend for three and a half months.

1:10:05 And our relationship is really strong.

1:10:07 Caller I really love her a lot and she really loves me.

1:10:09 But we haven't had sex yet.

1:10:10 Caller We're both virgins.

1:10:11 Caller And she's brought up the fact that she would like to have sex.

1:10:14 And I would like to have sex too, but I'm kind of hesitant about it.

1:10:18 Caller And I'm just wondering if I should wait a longer just to go through.

1:10:21 Drew You're gay.

1:10:22 Adam Oh, Drew, please. It's true, though.

1:10:25 No. Yeah.

1:10:27 Adam You know, don't plan it out so much.

1:10:30 Drew Wait till you're ready. Wait till you know it's right.

1:10:31 Adam I mean, have a condom nearby in case something happens. Just kind of take it slow and see where it goes. What are you doing at this point?

1:10:40 Caller Pretty much everything else.

1:10:41 Adam You're getting oral sex?

1:10:42 Yeah.

1:10:44 Drew Has she had sex before?

1:10:45 Caller No.

1:10:46 Yeah.

1:10:47 Adam Is that oral sex? Does she finish you off that way?

1:10:50 Caller No.

1:10:50 Yeah. I wish, but...

1:10:53 Adam You can't focus or what's up?

1:10:55 What?

1:10:56 Adam Can you do it?

1:10:57 Yeah.

1:10:58 Adam Why don't you just do that for a little while?

1:11:00 Yeah.

1:11:01 Adam All right. Hey, listen. I don't need that sort of nonchalant laissez-faire come see, come say attitude about the oral sex. I don't appreciate that. You understand? I understand. All right.

1:11:16 Caller Change of that.

1:11:18 Adam A 16-year-old is getting a BJ.

1:11:23 Caller Imagine that.

1:11:24 Adam 16.

1:11:25 Drew Mild.

1:11:27 Adam I'm going to blow job at 16.

1:11:28 Caller Oh my God. Oh my God.

1:11:29 Adam Oh my God. Oh my God. Let me tell you what I just got six weeks ago.

1:11:36 Caller You know what I mean?

1:11:37 Adam Yeah.

1:11:37 Caller He's like, yeah, I think I can pop one off. All right.

1:11:43 Adam We got to go to break, but let's just say hi to Mike before we do that. Mike, you're 17?

1:11:47 Caller What's up?

1:11:48 Adam After you ejaculate, your tessie swell?

1:11:51 Caller No, it's the tube that comes up from my left testicle.

1:11:55 Drew All right. Already I'm intrigued.

1:11:57 Adam OK. Hold on there, Mike.

1:11:59 Drew The tube that comes up.

1:12:01 Caller All right.

1:12:01 Adam We'll find out what that is, all right?

1:12:03 Caller OK. All right.

1:12:04 Adam Right after this.

1:12:06 Caller Yo, Loveline, I'll be right back, homie.

1:12:47 Adam Neil, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. We're going to hop back on the phones here and speak to young Mike. Mike is 17 years old. What's up, Mike? Hi, tube swelling.

1:13:01 Drew The tube swelling.

1:13:02 Adam Yeah, what tube?

1:13:04 Caller The tube that comes up from my left testicle, like it just kind of goes up. I don't know. It swells to be about the size of like my testicle.

1:13:15 Drew Could it be your testicle?

1:13:16 Caller No.

1:13:17 Drew Because what happened sometime during ejaculation, the testicles will pull up into that canal.

1:13:22 Caller No, no, it's not that.

1:13:24 Drew I suspect it is.

1:13:26 Caller Like I've seen the doctor about it and like I've seen first I went to the clinic and they said it might be a hernia. I went to the doctor and he said that it was swollen when I went to the doctor and he said it's not a hernia and that like he wasn't sure what was wrong with it.

1:13:43 Drew Wait a minute. Let's get this clear. The swelling the doctor felt is the same swelling you're talking about?

1:13:49 Caller Yes.

1:13:49 Drew That you see?

1:13:50 Caller Yes.

1:13:53 Drew How do you see the swelling?

1:13:55 Caller It's like I can see like my two testicles and then right above the less testicle like I guess it's like the tube that the semen goes up through or something.

1:14:05 Drew Right now you see that?

1:14:07 Caller No, not right now.

1:14:08 Drew When do you see that?

1:14:10 Caller After like I have sex.

1:14:12 Drew And how was it the doctor saw that? Had you just had sex?

1:14:14 Caller I don't know.

1:14:16 Drew I think you're confusing things. I really do. You can have thickening of the spermatic cord. You can have epithetomitis and you can have the testes to pull up into the inguinal canal after ejaculation. I suspect if you actually feel your scrotum there will not be anything in it. You'll see it's your testes and you may have some thickening of the spermatic cord. That's not even necessarily abnormal.

1:14:34 Adam Andrew.

1:14:35 Yeah.

1:14:36 Adam You're 24. What's up?

1:14:37 Caller Oh, nothing. I'm just started seeing this girl. She's like 20 years old and she has a three-year-old daughter, but she wants me to tell her I only dated her for one time, one night, which was last Sunday, which was yesterday. She's already telling me that she wanted me to take on responsibility as a father figure to her daughter.

1:14:56 Drew No way.

1:14:57 Caller Yeah.

1:14:58 Drew No way. If you're going to stay around for a long time, that's great. Even then, wait till you're six months into this relationship. Do not get into that child's life and then leave. Don't do it.

1:15:08 Adam How did she bring that up on the first date?

1:15:10 Caller Well, I mean, I've known her for a long time. I've dated her like a long, long time ago, almost like two years ago. And then my friend was dating her for like a year and a half, almost two years. And I've and me and her were friends, you know, because I was with my best friend, of course. And she still knew me. But then they broke up along the way. And now we're starting to date and she's already telling me this. So, you know, I've known her for a while.

1:15:36 Adam I see. All right. So it's not as freaky as it sounded initially. Well, do you like her?

1:15:41 Caller Of course I like her.

1:15:42 Adam No, but you know, do you like her?

1:15:44 Caller Well, of course. I wouldn't be seeing her.

1:15:47 Drew You've seen her one day.

1:15:48 Adam You had one day and you're already freaked out.

1:15:50 Caller Are you going to go on another day with her?

1:15:51 Drew Are you going to spend the next 10 years with her?

1:15:53 Caller Shut up, Drew.

1:15:54 Adam Are you going on a second day with her?

1:15:57 Caller Well, most likely, yeah.

1:15:58 Caller All right.

1:15:58 Adam Well, listen, why don't you just be up front with her? Go on the next date with her and say, listen, I like you, but this is our second date and I just want to take it slow and see where it goes.

1:16:10 Caller Right.

1:16:11 Caller You know what I mean?

1:16:12 Adam You don't have to be rude. You don't have to freak her out.

1:16:15 Caller Don't you think she'd think I wasn't serious then?

1:16:17 Caller No. Oh, please.

1:16:18 Drew Come on.

1:16:18 Adam Second date.

1:16:18 Drew Second date. Stay in reality. What's real there?

1:16:22 Adam Here's the deal, though, everybody. Here's the deal. You want to know the most freeing thing in life?

1:16:29 Drew Reality.

1:16:30 Adam It is?

1:16:30 No. All right.

1:16:32 Drew Screw that. Other than that.

1:16:33 Adam Oh, OK. Second most freeing thing in life is have your own sort of moral compass and follow it. And if people don't understand it or give you service or don't get along with it, do not let it slow you down. Meaning, you're on a second date with a woman. She's worried about your relationship with her kid and wants to know why you aren't attending the parent-teacher conference night. You're worried about how she's going to take that when you tell her to slow down. It's the second date. You're 100% right. If somebody freaks out when you're 100% right, it doesn't matter. Screw them. It doesn't matter. I told you this story. Maybe not a great example, but my mom hung up on me once. She hung up on me for no reason. It was a couple of years ago. I don't know what the hell. I don't know. I called her. She like hung up. I called her back. She was pissed off as hell. I said, Mom, what the hell are you hanging up for? She pissed off as hell, hung up again.

1:17:35 Drew What was it?

1:17:36 Adam I had no idea.

1:17:36 Drew What had you done?

1:17:37 Adam Nothing.

1:17:38 Drew Come on.

1:17:38 Adam I swear to god damn god that I don't know what it was. But here's my point. She was pissed off about something I said or something I did or whatever it was. I said to her on the phone, listen, whatever it was, whatever you're upset about, I have no clue what it is, but whatever it is, why don't we talk about it and we can fix it. You know what it is. She hung up. At that point, I said, hey, screw that bitch. I didn't call her. I said, just screw her. I didn't talk to her. That was it. It was done. I mean, done. She hung up. I called her two or three times. I asked her to try to work it out. I asked her to tell me what it was. She wouldn't do it. It was done.

1:18:20 Drew What was it?

1:18:21 Adam I got engaged, and I didn't tell... I got engaged about a year ago, and I told... She found out through my sister, but not through me. But the reason I called her was to tell her, and it was two days later. And my feeling was, hey, screw you. I can't help it that my sister squealed. I called you to tell you this. That's why I'm calling you, and now you're hanging up on me. And I remember, I just remember thinking, this bitch is crazy. That was it. I never... I didn't think about it. I don't want to be like a serial killer, but listen, if somebody does something... There goes my keys, by the way. If somebody does something and you've, you know, you've given your best effort, and they still want to be pissed off or freaked out or whatever, hey, that's their business. You can not go through life worrying about people if you feel like you've taken care of it. On the other hand, you gotta be fair. Timothy? Yeah. Well, not me. I got two TV shows in the national radio show. I don't have to be fair. But you guys, you have to be fair. Timothy, you're 17.

1:19:25 Caller What's up? Um, you wanna hear my problem?

1:19:28 Drew Sure. Why not?

1:19:29 Adam I'm mixed, but go ahead.

1:19:31 Hmm.

1:19:32 Caller Well, okay. My girlfriend, right? She like, she comes over to my house probably every day, right? Okay.

1:19:37 Caller My stepdad is home and she like hits on it. She'll hug him.

1:19:41 Caller She'll like, I'll flirt around like, like 17, 18 year old do.

1:19:44 Drew Like what would she say?

1:19:45 Caller Like, well, she won't really say anything, but her like physical emotions I could tell.

1:19:50 Caller Yeah.

1:19:50 Caller Not emotions, but her physical.

1:19:51 Caller Yeah.

1:19:52 Adam It's not what she says. It's the way she does what she's not saying.

1:19:55 Drew How old is your stepdad?

1:19:56 Caller Um, she's 40.

1:19:57 Adam Yeah, 40.

1:19:59 Caller All right.

1:20:00 Adam Well, why don't you talk to your girlfriend? Why is your stepdad home so much, by the way?

1:20:06 Caller Well, when he gets off work, she comes over because she has high school.

1:20:10 Adam It's about 3 o'clock.

1:20:10 Caller I'm like, hey.

1:20:11 Adam All right, Drew, let's play guess the dog breed. Uh, hold on. Now, hold on. Is it a mutt, that dog of yours?

1:20:18 Caller Mine?

1:20:19 Adam Yeah. Is it? Don't tell me what kind of dog it is. Is it a breed of dog?

1:20:24 Caller It's a Rottweiler.

1:20:26 Adam What the?

1:20:29 Caller What the?

1:20:32 Adam No, is it? You figured it was a bogus call, though, wasn't it?

1:20:37 Drew Uh, whatever. It doesn't matter.

1:20:39 Adam Hey, Tim?

1:20:39 Caller Yeah?

1:20:40 Adam Oh, listen. Listen, you idiot. I hope that- I hope-

1:20:42 Caller You can hear it barking in the background.

1:20:43 Caller I hope it tells you the truth, man.

1:20:46 Adam I hope that dog- Listen, stoner. I hope that dog eats your bong. You check-ass. Oh, listen. Listen, all you potheads. And don't worry. I smoked plenty of pot last weekend. I don't mind pot, but listen, you potheads who think it's the funniest thing in the world. You ain't going to be laughing so hard in a couple of years. You'll be living at home. You'll be 22 years old. You'll be working on some piece of ass Vega out in the parking lot, going down to Pickapart to get yourself a new water pump for it because it blew again. Have fun. Enjoy. Enjoy, stoners. Enjoy it now. Toke up, toke out every day of your life and enjoy yourself because the rest of life ain't going to be that good a time. It really won't. You're not going to have as good a time as you're having now. Nadia? Yeah. You're 16. You know what's ironic? We spend every week we sit here trying to get information out of people that won't volunteer. The one time we say to a guy, hey, do not tell us what kind of dog this is.

1:21:50 Drew We're going to try to get it. It's a wild one!

1:21:52 Adam It started screaming. Nadia?

1:21:56 Guest Yeah.

1:21:57 Adam All right. So what's the matter there, pumpkin?

1:21:59 Guest OK. I know I have depression, you know. I mean, and I've had bulimia like off and on for about two years now. And I mean, my parents don't realize that they're not home a lot, you know.

1:22:13 Drew Where are they?

1:22:14 Guest They're working. They're like, when I get home, they're off to work, right, when I get home. And so, I mean, they don't notice, you know.

1:22:21 Drew Yeah.

1:22:22 Guest And my point is, how do I tell them and like...

1:22:26 Drew Tell them you're depressed?

1:22:27 Guest Yeah. And I mean, I've told my mom, you know, I want to like see a therapist.

1:22:32 Drew All right. So you've already made the first step.

1:22:35 Guest Yeah. But she keeps like saying, like, you know, they only make you like stupider or crazier.

1:22:41 Drew What does your mom do for a li... What does your mom do for a living?

1:22:43 Guest She, um, she, she cleans.

1:22:47 Drew It's interesting that she'd be afraid to send you to help. But women, parents oftentimes, when they're afraid to send their children to help, are fearful of what they're going to have to feel themselves. And they're also fearful of sort of letting down their idealization of you.

1:23:02 Guest I mean, they're like always trying to like say that I'm, you know, an all-A student and stuff. You know, I'm not, you know, and that's what they tell people.

1:23:09 Drew There you go.

1:23:10 Guest I mean, I just like.

1:23:12 Drew They do, really? They idealize, idealize. You've got to tell, you should say something somewhat dramatic to her. Say, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt myself or something that's going to get her attention and go.

1:23:20 Guest I have, like, hurt myself, you know? I mean, like, so where they can see it, you know?

1:23:26 Drew And I, they won't see it. Listen, you told her in clear, no uncertain terms what your needs are. They didn't hear that.

1:23:32 Caller Yeah.

1:23:32 Drew They're not going to see a scar. They're going to, immediately in their head, so I was on the jungle gym.

1:23:36 Adam Right.

1:23:37 Drew It was from a number two pencil during one of her great math quizzes.

1:23:39 Caller Right.

1:23:40 Adam All right.

1:23:42 Caller Go, yeah.

1:23:43 Adam Did your parents over-idealize you too, didn't they, Drew?

1:23:47 Caller Did they?

1:23:49 Caller I don't know.

1:23:50 Yeah.

1:23:51 Caller Yeah.

1:23:52 Adam Did they? You think so?

1:23:53 Drew Yeah.

1:23:54 Adam Like, what would they do?

1:23:56 Drew It was more than never good enough stuff.

1:23:58 Adam Yeah, never good enough with you, but what about with other people? You think they did that?

1:24:03 Drew Yeah.

1:24:04 Adam Really?

1:24:05 Drew I mean, over-idealize them, other people, or me too, other people?

1:24:07 Adam I mean, you too, other people.

1:24:09 Drew I don't know.

1:24:10 Adam You never around?

1:24:10 Drew No.

1:24:11 Adam Never heard any compliments? Yeah, my parents did that too. They did that bragging to their friends about me. They screwed up because they'd always forget my first name. They'd go, yeah, Lauren's doing real good, and then my dad would snap his finger to go, the boy. Then I don't think that people believed them after whatever came out after that. Hey, Zeus?

1:24:37 Caller Yeah.

1:24:37 Adam You're 18?

1:24:38 Caller Yeah.

1:24:39 Adam What is up?

1:24:40 Caller Yeah. I'm religious, right? But I still touch myself. Sure. And, well, during Lent...

1:24:49 Drew That's mostly just men, too.

1:24:50 Caller Right. Yeah. During Lent, I decided to give that up.

1:24:56 Adam Yeah. How long does Lent go on for? Super Tuesday until Ash Wednesday? Or what the... Yeah. When was Ash... What was Ash Day?

1:25:06 Caller Well, that was like three, four weeks ago. This is like the last week. I'm at the end of that. What was that?

1:25:12 Adam Ash Monday?

1:25:13 Caller That's Ash Wednesday.

1:25:14 Adam Ash Wednesday.

1:25:15 Caller Yeah.

1:25:15 Adam Yeah. Ash Wednesday was a few weeks back, right?

1:25:18 Caller Yeah.

1:25:18 Adam Is that when Lent begins?

1:25:20 Caller Yes.

1:25:20 Adam Uh-huh. And then it just goes on for one month?

1:25:23 Caller Yeah. Like a month and a week or so.

1:25:24 Adam Yeah.

1:25:24 Drew Wow.

1:25:25 Adam I gave up... I gave up a Lime Jello this year.

1:25:30 Drew Yeah. One of these years, you ought to give up at least one of your Parno tapes.

1:25:34 Caller Mm. Geez.

1:25:35 Adam That was smart. I don't know if that's the way God would want it.

1:25:38 Caller I really don't.

1:25:39 Adam Yeah. So did you walk around like those idiots with the ash on your forehead?

1:25:43 Caller No, actually, I was late to church, so I didn't get to partake in that, but...

1:25:48 Adam I swear to God, I turned the TV on on Ash Wednesday and saw idiots with the, like, news anchors and stuff with ash on their forehead. And it always messes me up, too, because, see, I think they should stencil a cross on their forehead with, like, ash. You know, some guy, like, used a cigarette on them or something. It always looks like... I'm always sitting there going, geez, this guy got some pen on his forehead. It always seems like, especially when you see a guy who's got an anchor desk, you know, I swear to God, I turned the TV on, it was like, it looked like some guy put his hand down on a, you know... Yeah, he put his hand down on a fax or something, some guy, like, smeared on him and then he wiped his forehead with it, it was like, hey, the makeup's got to get that, and then I realized, oh, he's got ash on his forehead.

1:26:30 Drew And by the way, does it somehow not count if they put makeup over it?

1:26:34 Adam If you put makeup over the ash? Yeah, I think you put the makeup on, then they have to reapply the ash.

1:26:40 Drew Hello?

1:26:40 Adam Yeah, sorry. Sorry, Jesus. By the way, anyone working for me with the ash on the forehead who's on camera is fired. That's my policy, you idiots.

1:26:48 Drew Jesus, what's your question?

1:26:50 Caller Yeah, well, before I used to get like erections really easy, I mean, the wind would blow and you'd get an erection. And now I noticed that it doesn't get up easily.

1:27:01 Adam You're not masturbating. You won't be able to masturbate for another week and a half?

1:27:05 Caller No, this is the last week by.

1:27:07 Drew There's sort of a...

1:27:08 Adam I know, but isn't it a lint for the whole month or something?

1:27:11 Caller Yeah, it's been a month. I mean, I'm down to my last.

1:27:14 Drew But there's sort of a...

1:27:14 Adam Well, hold on. You got how much longer to go?

1:27:16 Caller It's Easter Sunday. I mean, it's over right there.

1:27:19 Adam I know, but that's a few... You still got another week, right?

1:27:22 Caller I thought it was this weekend.

1:27:23 Adam When is Easter?

1:27:25 Drew It's in three weeks.

1:27:26 Adam No, when is Easter? It's like a week or something, right? Whatever it is, it's a lifetime. I don't care if it's three days or three weeks. That's a lifetime of that masturbation. Anderson, do you look at the calendar? What's that? 23rd of April. Hey, you're screwed, brother.

1:27:41 Caller When is it?

1:27:42 Adam 23rd.

1:27:43 Caller Oh, crap.

1:27:45 Adam Yeah, that's right. Say adios to your penis for about another two weeks. Yeah, you're screwed.

1:27:52 Caller Damn it.

1:27:53 Adam Yeah, yeah. I hope it'll explode. That'd be nice.

1:27:57 Drew There's an interesting... There's sort of a...

1:28:00 Adam You shut down.

1:28:01 Drew There's a parabolic curve. If you're not masturbating, your testosterone levels drop, your arousal levels drop. If you do, there'll be a certain amount of rate of increase of that as a plateau, and then this falling off on the other side where you start again sort of depleting yourself and levels drop off.

1:28:15 Caller Yeah.

1:28:16 Adam Yeah, listen, I don't have a religion, but if I did, here's how I'd lay it out. Instead of not doing something, I'd have you do something, like volunteer or something for that month, or exercise more, or spend X amount of time with your kids every day or something. You had to do something. That whole give something up is kind of weird.

1:28:38 Caller I'd link to that.

1:28:39 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:28:40 Adam You walk around, you idiots with the ash on your forehead. What's wrong with me? Would you fire somebody, they're working at your station and came in to sat down to do at the anchor desk to do the news that day, and they had ash mirrored on their forehead? You know what I'm saying?

1:28:56 Drew I wonder what were the makeup people were.

1:28:58 Adam Okay. Listen, listen, Tards, please, who are you kidding? Who are you kidding? How many ex-wives you figure that guy has with the ash on his forehead? How many high balls you figure he puts down that night after the show? You figure he's got a kid or two somewhere he doesn't talk to too much? Yeah, don't worry, he's got the ash on the forehead. That'll make it all up, sure. Get that ash on there. That ash will stop a bullet, by the way. That's good stuff. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this.

1:29:27 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:30:03 Adam Yeah, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. We're just discussing a troubled past. And let's hop back on the phones here. Drew, Heather?

1:30:17 Guest Yeah?

1:30:17 Adam You're 18? What's up?

1:30:19 Guest I have really bad anxiety attacks and panic attacks.

1:30:23 Adam All right.

1:30:24 Caller Yeah.

1:30:25 Guest I take Alprazolam, it's like Xanax or something. I take Metaprolol for like heart flow. And I just want to know like if I can take a different medication to help.

1:30:39 Caller Because it seems like the...

1:30:40 Drew How much Xanax are you taking?

1:30:45 Guest 0.250 milligrams.

1:30:47 Drew Are you taking it regularly or just when you have attacks?

1:30:49 Guest Just when I have the attacks. But I don't like to take it because lately like when I take it, it seems to make things worse and it takes a real long time to like actually work.

1:30:58 Drew You've not seen a psychiatrist, have you?

1:31:00 Guest No.

1:31:00 Drew That's what you need to do.

1:31:03 Guest They would have like they'd help me out somehow.

1:31:05 Drew Yeah. There's multiple other options here. First of all, you need a diagnosis. Are you depressed? Are you do a panic disorder?

1:31:11 Guest I used to be depressed. I used to take like antidepressants.

1:31:15 Drew Who prescribed that?

1:31:16 Guest My psychiatrist because I did see one but it was like two years ago.

1:31:20 Drew Well, it's time to get back to that person. Drugs like Paxil can be very good for anxiety. Sometimes they use MAO inhibitors. You're already on what's called a beta blocker. You're on benzodiazepines which can be a little treacherous. But usually they use a tiny dose of Xanax throughout the day or the longer acting benzodiazepines like clonopin through the day.

1:31:38 Adam It's funny. I may have been drunk and high, but I was in Lake Havasu this weekend. The TV was on somewhere. It was a NASCAR race. And there was a car sponsored by Viagra.

1:31:54 Drew Really?

1:31:55 Adam It was a Viagra car.

1:31:56 Drew Wow.

1:31:56 Adam I mean, it was just blue and white and a big Viagra across the hood. But the thing that was really funny is it said Viagra in big letters. And then in small letters, underneath it, it said, like, Pentathorum 08. You know, that whatever the hell the Latin name, or the scientific.

1:32:15 Drew It's another made up name.

1:32:16 Adam It's another made up name. Yes, okay, because it's not like this S existed prior to 5, 10 years ago or whatever. The point is, is Brozac, I mean, not Brozac, Viagra. It's the Viagra Mobile. We don't need the Latin pronunciation written in small letters underneath it.

1:32:35 Drew Maybe that's the trademark or something that requires both.

1:32:38 Adam Why would you paint that part onto the car? What is the name of it? What is the medical name of it?

1:32:44 Drew Is it?

1:32:46 Adam It was like a 17 letter word written under Viagra, which was in big letters across the hood. It was like two foot letters, Viagra across the hood, and then in three inch letters underneath it, was a Parisian dialing. It was like, who's, why? I mean, is there anyone who knows it by that name, but not sure what Viagra is? Or how does that work? Is it some legality? Or why? Why, you're painting a car. You can't leave that part off? What I mean is, is like, the car that's sponsored by Tide doesn't have the ingredients, the chemical breakdown of the Tide Mobile, like written on the fender, and then washing instructions, you know, soak in cold water for colors, you know, they just write the goddamn Tide across the hoods, you know what you're talking about. I gotta check in to that Viagra Mobile. Isn't that awesome though? Viagra car?

1:33:41 Caller Was it longer than the others?

1:33:42 Adam It, no, it hadn't, please. Where the hell were we talking about? Travis?

1:33:48 Yeah.

1:33:49 Adam You're 14.

1:33:50 Caller Yeah. I can't get erections, and I was wondering if that is because I was molested by my dad when I was eight.

1:33:56 Drew It helps. That'll do it. Yeah.

1:33:58 Caller Okay. And I was also calling in regards to the caller Van, who was, I think, raped by the mailman.

1:34:03 Drew Yeah. He also called back later with a few other things.

1:34:07 Adam He was raped by a UPS guy later.

1:34:08 Caller I was just saying that he was like a real inspiration to get out of that about the story for me.

1:34:14 Adam Yeah. Except for I think he was making it up.

1:34:16 Drew Well, as this guy is.

1:34:17 Adam Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Yeah. I got you now, Travis.

1:34:21 Caller Yeah.

1:34:21 Caller All right.

1:34:23 Caller Okay.

1:34:23 Adam He was a real inspiration for you.

1:34:25 Caller Yeah.

1:34:25 Adam Okay.

1:34:26 Caller He was like, you know, helpful.

1:34:28 Adam I see.

1:34:29 Caller Out of your God.

1:34:30 Adam Thank you. There you go. Thank you. Hey, listen. I have what I call Ass Wednesday. Yeah. That's where you take one of the gym socks of white, myself with, and you rub it on your forehead.

1:34:41 Caller Okay.

1:34:42 Adam All right. Yeah.

1:34:43 Caller I got it.

1:34:43 Adam We'll start it next year.

1:34:44 Caller Okay.

1:34:45 Adam All right. I'd like to see some of the news anchors wearing that on the forehead.

1:34:48 Drew I can tell that Travis opened his mouth. He was BSing.

1:34:50 Adam Well, I know because nobody goes, hey, I can't get an erection when I'm a lesbian. What do you think about that?

1:34:56 Drew You think that did it?

1:34:57 Adam Yeah.

1:34:57 Drew I think that just about sums it up.

1:34:58 Adam Yeah. All right. Yeah. I think what we're learning and what we've learned tonight especially is when people give you the answer to their question. It means there's something up.

1:35:08 Drew It's always what's the question?

1:35:10 Adam Right.

1:35:11 Drew Chris? What are you calling?

1:35:12 Adam Chris?

1:35:13 Caller Hey, Adam.

1:35:13 Adam Yeah. You're 24.

1:35:15 Caller Yeah.

1:35:15 Caller I'm up here in Canada.

1:35:16 Caller Really?

1:35:16 Caller And I'm a baker. And you make the nights go pretty sweet, man.

1:35:21 Adam Well, thank you.

1:35:21 Caller Thank you very much, dude.

1:35:22 Adam You listen at work, do you?

1:35:24 Caller Yeah. For the longest time when I was a kid, I thought I had a problem because me and my buddies used to go into the bathroom and squeeze our penises and see how far we could shoot our urine.

1:35:33 Adam Right.

1:35:34 Caller I'm glad you could put a name on that anyway with the brewing.

1:35:37 Adam Brewing. Absolutely.

1:35:38 Caller That was great. On a more serious note.

1:35:41 Drew By the way, just because Adam did it doesn't mean there wasn't something wrong with you.

1:35:44 Adam Oh, it means you're a genius or at least your penises.

1:35:47 Caller I swear he's like my evil twin brother.

1:35:49 Adam Thank you.

1:35:51 Caller Anyway, when I was 12 years old, I knocked up this chick and she had the baby and I moved out west when I was about 17. She was back east and I haven't seen a kid.

1:36:10 Drew Back east Nova Scotia in Canada.

1:36:11 Adam Right.

1:36:12 Caller Yeah.

1:36:13 Caller Well, not quite that far back. All right. I've had a son since then.

1:36:19 Adam Jesus.

1:36:20 Caller Yeah.

1:36:22 Caller Just a baby factory.

1:36:23 Caller Yeah.

1:36:24 Caller Now what?

1:36:25 Caller And I've realized what he's done for my life and he's four now. And over the last four years, I've realized-

1:36:34 Drew You're feeling guilty. You're feeling guilty now.

1:36:36 Adam You're feeling guilty. You want to get hold of this woman?

1:36:38 Caller Well, I don't know what I should do.

1:36:40 Drew He's a teenager.

1:36:41 Adam First of all, he's 12 or 11 or whatever.

1:36:45 Caller Yeah.

1:36:46 Adam Oh my God. Knocked up a girl at 12.

1:36:49 Caller Yeah.

1:36:50 Drew Jesus Christ. If he shows up in that kid's life, that kid's going to be pissed. And it's not going to undo the abandonment that he's already put the kid through. That means no amount of penance is going to undo that.

1:37:00 Adam All right. But think about, there is a difference between knocking up a girl when you're 12. I mean, when you're a kid, you're screwed up and you're Canada. It's freezing. There's nothing to do over there. And doing it when you're 21. I mean, think about it. You're 12. What are you supposed to do? Stay in the child's life? Raise him at 12, 13 years old? You're raising a child? I mean, it's not your fault. I mean, now you're 24, you're father, you're responsible, you've seen what you've done. I don't know. I think about tracking her down. Give him some free bread. All right.

1:37:30 Drew Well, I've been explaining that to the kid, but then you're giving the kid a license. Maybe it's better just to keep the idealized memory of an image of the father in the child's mind.

1:37:38 Adam Your dad was a world-renowned Canadian baker who died in an oven explosion. All right, we'll take a break.

1:37:46 Drew Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:37:49 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. Yep. All right. There you go. Another fabulous show.

1:38:24 Drew Fabulous.

1:38:25 Adam In the dirt. All right. We'll take ourselves a 22-hour break, and when we come back, we'll come back with more fabulous show and a renewed attitude and renewed commitment to the program. That'll be at least for the first break, and then we'll wear off into our usual jaded selves.

1:38:39 Drew Well now.

1:38:40 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. My boyfriend had such a huge shlong that he scrambled my innards.

1:38:48 Caller Come on.

1:38:49 Drew Oh no.

1:38:51 Caller Well now.

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Monday, April 10, 2000