Episode 1000754887337

1:20 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:27 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:31 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:33 Voiceover Loveline.

1:35 Voiceover Yep, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician. All righty here, Drusky.

1:49 Drew There we go.

1:50 Adam Yep, yep, right on the phones here. Andy Dick's gonna be in here tomorrow night. God willing, he'll bring his band, the Bitches of the Century.

1:57 Drew He does not travel without them, does he?

1:59 Adam Have a good old fashioned hoedown. No, I don't believe he does. Well, he certainly doesn't travel onto a place where there might be a microphone nearby without them.

2:09 Drew When you talk about it, I just think of that, mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

2:14 Adam You may hear it tomorrow night. Elizabeth.

2:17 Yeah?

2:18 Adam You're 15?

2:19 Caller Yeah.

2:19 Adam What's up?

2:20 Caller I wanted to know if the condom came off inside of me, if I was gonna be able to get pregnant.

2:28 Drew Of course, that's a condom failure. That's how you get pregnant. Were you able to get it out?

2:33 Yeah.

2:34 Caller I found it the next day.

2:36 Adam Well, the next day, in less than 24 hours.

2:40 Drew When did this happen?

2:41 Caller A few weeks ago.

2:43 Drew We got to get back up on our soapbox at the morning after pill.

2:46 Adam Yes, we do.

2:46 Drew We have not been grandstanding enough about this.

2:50 Adam I'm fixing to go on a rant pretty soon, Dr. Drew, so you just remind me. Hey, Elizabeth, why the condom out the next day? Didn't you want to get it out that night?

3:00 Drew Well, she didn't know. She found it.

3:02 Caller I didn't know that it came off.

3:03 Adam You didn't know?

3:04 Caller He didn't tell me.

3:05 Drew How?

3:06 Adam He didn't say anything, huh?

3:07 Caller No.

3:08 Adam What a guy.

3:09 Drew Smooth.

3:09 Adam Is this your boyfriend?

3:11 Caller No.

3:11 Adam Who is this guy?

3:12 Caller He's supposed to be a friend.

3:14 Adam Uh-huh. Friends don't leave condoms in friends' vaginas. Write that down, Drew.

3:22 Drew That's a PSA.

3:23 Adam Yeah. Hey, Elizabeth, so did he leave that night, then?

3:28 Caller I went to his house in the night, came home that night.

3:32 Adam You know, it's weird, Drew, but you sort of forget about it. For the first, well, not me, because I didn't start humping until later in life, but for the first three, four, five years of humping, there's no sleeping over.

3:44 Drew Well, I guess that's true.

3:44 Adam I mean, all that like spooning and cuddling and those kinds of jokes, they don't really exist, especially with our audience. I mean, they start 13, 14, 15 years old.

3:56 Drew And they stay home till they're 30 and they live in a trailer.

3:59 Adam Right. So you're right. So let me do the math there. 17, 18 years of non-sleeping over.

4:06 Drew Yeah.

4:07 Adam It's kind of weird. You know, I mean, you hump in the basement and then the folks come home and the guy climbs out the window.

4:13 Drew Yeah.

4:14 Adam I think guys get used to that. That's where the problem is, Drew. You know, women are always complaining that guys don't cuddle and they don't want to sleep with them and all. They don't want to hang out and everything. First five years of humping, you're used to just, I got to go.

4:27 Drew They just spoil because of that.

4:28 Adam Oh, maybe that's it. All right, so she doesn't know if she's pregnant or not. Elizabeth?

4:33 Caller Yeah?

4:34 Adam Do you think you're pregnant?

4:36 Caller I don't know.

4:37 Adam You certainly sound depressed. Why are you so depressed?

4:41 Caller I don't know.

4:42 Drew She was depressed before this all happened.

4:43 Adam Oh, yeah. Elizabeth?

4:46 Caller Yeah?

4:47 Adam Is everything going okay beside the condom?

4:50 Caller I don't know.

4:51 Adam Okay. All right.

4:53 Drew That helps us a lot, Elizabeth.

4:56 Adam What's wrong with your life?

4:59 Caller Nothing, really.

5:00 Adam All right. Here we go. Lying to. Cece.

5:05 Yes.

5:05 Adam You're 20.

5:06 Caller Yes.

5:08 Adam I'm not Dr. Leakey anymore. I'm not going on any archaeological digs. Someone tells me there's nothing wrong with them, pow, right to the next caller. That's my new motto. Drew, see my finger? It is hovering over the drop button.

5:22 Drew CeCe's in, though, don't worry.

5:24 Adam All right, but what's Elizabeth supposed to do with this lack of condom?

5:27 Drew It's too late. She has to get a pregnancy test.

5:30 Adam There you go. All right, CeCe, what's up?

5:33 Caller Okay, I just want to say you guys are totally awesome. That's the first important thing that I wanted to say today.

5:38 Thank you.

5:40 Caller Okay, and second of all, if my parents know I'm on the phone past 10, they're going to kill me, but that's all right. Anyways.

5:46 Adam Past 10?

5:47 Caller Yeah, they're really strict, and I'm 20, yep.

5:49 That's how it goes.

5:50 Adam All right, eating disorder?

5:52 Caller No, no, not at all.

5:54 Adam 20 years old, your folks don't let you on the horn after 10?

5:58 Caller Yeah, pretty sad, huh?

6:00 Drew But do you live away from the home most of the time?

6:02 Caller I live at home.

6:03 Drew You live at home.

6:03 Adam Of course she lives at home.

6:05 Drew No, but I mean, I thought maybe the rest of the year, like she came over for the summer or something, but by the rules.

6:08 Adam Maybe her parents do call her at 10, 15 at her apartment. Ah-ha! When she picks up the phone.

6:12 Drew But I mean, she lives in the summer, she comes home and lives by their rules, and the rest of the year she's out doing nothing.

6:15 Adam No, she doesn't go.

6:16 Caller I'm here all the time.

6:18 Adam Yeah, she's just not going off to college.

6:19 Drew Yeah, but I don't get the eating disorder.

6:21 Caller But I'm at UCM, it's a junior college. And I know you hate junior colleges, but us alone still learn.

6:29 Adam The word college shouldn't even be in it.

6:30 Caller I'm sorry.

6:31 Adam Although the word college is in beauty college, so I guess it's okay. All right, CC, what's your question?

6:36 Drew Barber college.

6:37 Caller That's true. I've liked this guy since I was like a sophomore in high school. And we were at a party on Saturday. And I wasn't drunk, but I was buzzed. And I totally told him how much I liked him for all this time. And we'd been talking off and on throughout these four years that I never kissed him or anything like that. And we're just friends and things. And I mean, I know he's known I like him, but this is the first time I actually said it. He's being another girl. I mean, they're like, they be with each other whenever I guess they feel like they want to be with somebody. And she's with other guys, and he's with other girls.

7:15 Adam Right. Yeah, sounds like a winner. Yeah.

7:18 Caller Huh?

7:18 Adam Yeah, so what's your question?

7:20 Caller My question is, I really like him. I want to go for him, but I'm afraid of her because she's really like scared. Like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. That comes like near any guy that she's with.

7:34 Adam Cece. Hold on a second. Let me talk to my partner. Cece is like a 20-year-old who's like 14.

7:41 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:42 Adam Her folks can't hear her talking on the phone after 10. She likes this guy, but this girl, this guy's with is really tough. You know what I mean? 20.

7:52 Drew Yeah.

7:52 Adam When's the last time a chick worried about another chick being tough at 20 years old? What'd she do? Chew gum? Yeah, she's gonna give her a good beating in the halls. She's gonna wait for her by a locker. You know what I mean?

8:05 Drew Westside story.

8:06 Adam Yeah. Hey, Cece. Is he a jet or a, what the hell, the other one's called? Crip? Or the other west side? What's the two west side? The Jets and the Fugal Horns?

8:20 I can't remember. What the heck?

8:21 Adam Come on, Drew, you're one of those musical gay guys.

8:24 Drew No, I can't remember.

8:25 Adam You're a jet and a, when you're a jet and a pow. Anderson, come on, buddy. The Socean Greaser, Anderson said, cut my losses. Jets and the Falcons? No. CeCe. Sharks. I knew it was some kind of animal. All right, CeCe, so listen, you like this guy, I don't trust this guy. You sound so naïve, so protective.

8:51 Drew Yeah, we don't think this is going to go anywhere. He is clearly not somebody who's into a relationship. You're looking for one. He's not going to deliver.

8:58 Adam You told him you laid it out on the table for him, didn't you?

9:03 Caller Yeah.

9:03 Adam Yeah, so now the ball's in his court, right? So if he likes you, he's going to do something.

9:09 Caller I mean, let's say he does do something. What do I like? I mean, I know, I mean, I heard, like, I know you think like I'm totally like immature and stuff, but what do I do? I mean, this girl is like way older than both of us.

9:21 Drew How old is she?

9:23 Caller She's 24.

9:24 Drew Huge.

9:25 Adam That's the other thing that leaves when you're older, when you're young too, which is older means tough.

9:32 Drew And the difference between older and way older, the difference between older and way older is like 20 and 70. That's way older.

9:39 Adam She's 24. She's 24. That's a big four years there. But no, remember when you were a kid, you'd go, well, when you're in the third grade, you go, this guy's tough. He's in the fifth grade. He could kick your ass by virtue of being two grades above yours. Even if he was the world's biggest puss, the fact is he was two, three years older, he was going to kick your ass. But that kind of stuff stops after about 17 because once you're 20, it's not like a guy in his 60s is going to kick your ass, or a guy who's 25 for that matter.

10:15 Caller Right.

10:15 Adam She's sorry. One more with real Cece. Cece, I'm intrigued by you.

10:21 Caller What do you mean?

10:21 Adam You're just so naive. She's way older. She's 24.

10:25 Caller Okay, so I exaggerate. But it's not that she's older and she's bigger. It's not that. It's just that she's kicked other girls. I mean, she has a reputation of doing this a lot. I mean, I wouldn't say that just because I...

10:35 Adam Why is this guy with her?

10:37 Caller Because she's beautiful.

10:39 Adam Really?

10:40 Caller Really pretty.

10:40 Adam I'm intrigued by this woman. 24, beautiful, stomps a lot of local ass.

10:47 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, she has a reputation of beating people's ass.

10:50 Drew All right, CC., first and foremost, you need to go away to school.

10:54 Adam You need to go away somewhere.

10:55 Drew Yeah, go ahead and do anything. Just get out of the house, get out of that area. Listen. You need a little reality check. You know what, what's happened is the parents have kept her properly sort of...

11:06 Adam Reigned.

11:06 Drew Protected from all this.

11:07 Adam Yeah.

11:08 Drew And so she gets out into, that's her real world, is that the sort of West Side Story world she lives in. It's like Greece. Really, it's like...

11:16 Adam It's like a rumble fish.

11:17 Drew She needs to get out in the world a little bit.

11:19 Adam Becca?

11:20 Drew I don't think I've ever given that advice. Get out in the world? That's the advice I've never given. There it is.

11:25 Adam Hi. Hey listen, there should be a junior college exchange program because the biggest reason for going to college is to go to college, to go away to college, to get out of your house, to get out from under your parents thumb, to experience new places and new environments. Junior college, you can't do that, but a lot of people I know in junior college, or I did know in junior college, or 1920, 21, 22, still living at home, their parents are tired of looking at them. They have disdain for their parents.

11:55 Drew Parents have the same for them.

11:56 Adam Parents have the same for them, but what if we started Junior College Exchange Program? Where somebody is going to junior college in Minneapolis could just come out to Los Angeles and go to junior college, and someone from out here could go to Minneapolis. In that way, they wouldn't feel like losers, because one of the biggest problems with junior colleges you live at home and you drive your moped in to the campus. You know what I mean? People could have the dignity of going away to college even if they didn't have the grades. Becca?

12:21 Caller Yeah.

12:21 Adam What's up?

12:23 Caller Well, I've been getting migraines since I was 15, and they've kind of taken a weird turn now. Now I'm kind of getting, I'll get like a, well, not really numb feeling, but kind of a tingly feeling in my whole body, and I kind of feel weak, and it's also, it's in my arms, but it's everywhere basically.

12:45 Drew Any vision problems?

12:47 Caller Whenever I throw up. Yeah, I get aura in my vision.

12:50 Drew What do they consist of? Huh? What are your auras like?

12:55 Caller It's like a really sharp light.

12:58 Drew So there's a called scotoma. Okay. Okay. Does your vision go dark at all?

13:06 Caller No, it's usually just a really bad flashes of light.

13:09 Drew Okay.

13:10 Adam What's an aura?

13:11 Drew Aura is what comes before a seizure or a migraine, a sense that something's coming on. Migraine auras typically are flashes of light.

13:20 Adam What's the difference between aura and aura? You know what I mean? The aura? Yeah. Cosmic aura?

13:26 Drew It's different. Aura means just an awareness of something about to happen. You have an aura about you.

13:31 Adam Oh, okay. So it is same word. Same thing.

13:34 Drew Same word, yeah.

13:34 Adam Yeah. All right, Becca.

13:35 Caller Like a warning about half an hour before I get a migraine.

13:38 Drew Some people get, as part of the aura, they'll get focal neurologic changes. One part of their body will go numb or limp. And they'll get vision, the core of their visual will go out.

13:45 Adam I'd kill myself.

13:46 Caller Well, um, huh?

13:47 Adam I'd kill myself.

13:49 Caller Well, basically, whenever I throw up is when I start to get, I get numb.

13:54 Drew All right. What's the question? Why aren't you getting migraine treatment? Why aren't you getting treatment? There's so many good treatments for migraine these days.

14:01 Caller I tried Imatrix and that didn't work.

14:03 Drew Tried Zomig, Maxalt.

14:05 Caller Well, I don't get them often enough anymore. I used to get them a lot, but I don't get them often enough. I just wondered if that was anything to be worried about.

14:14 Drew Well, if you have real true migraines, they are actually associated with restriction of blood supply to certain parts of the brain. It is important to make sure that they're properly treated or prevented.

14:23 Adam There's been a lot of progress made in this department over the last few years.

14:26 Drew But if you're on birth control pills, I would get off them. I think that's one of the things that exacerbates them. That's one of the conditions that I think birth control pills are not to be used in. Again, the imitrex, the maxol, the sumatriptans, all these are good medications that you can certainly use regularly. And or they're medications that prevent it from coming on, like beta blockers or calcium channel blockers.

14:43 Adam Hold on, I see Tyler's on the line here and he says he's ready to fart.

14:46 Caller Hey, how's it going, Adam?

14:47 Adam Hey, Tyler. Anderson loves the gas.

14:50 Caller All right, here we go.

14:52 Adam You got it? Okay. I'm trying.

14:53 Caller I'm trying.

15:09 Adam Always funny.

15:10 Caller How's it going?

15:11 Adam Always funny.

15:12 Caller Hey, sorry, it's been a while.

15:13 Adam Yeah. Where you been? Just been real busy. I see. Too busy to fart on your friends?

15:20 Oh, well.

15:21 Adam Come on, buddy.

15:22 Never too busy for that.

15:23 Adam Yeah.

15:23 Caller I'm sorry.

15:24 Drew Maybe you should make a visit to the Man Show and really sort of share his talent.

15:28 Adam I thought we had a relationship here, buddy.

15:30 Caller Yeah, well, I don't know, man.

15:32 It's just like, it's been hectic.

15:35 Adam Yeah.

15:36 Caller I'll start calling more often.

15:37 Yeah.

15:38 Adam You've been busy at 10 at night every week night.

15:40 Caller I usually get to sleep pretty early.

15:42 Adam No. Listen, let me explain something, Tyler.

15:46 What's that?

15:46 Adam It'd be nice if you could live a life like everyone else. But you have a gift. You understand? I mean, Jesus could have went to bed at nine, but he had disciples and apostles and-

16:00 Drew Dinners to give.

16:01 Adam Dinners to throw, sandals to be worn. He had to turn water into wine and turn fish into loaves and all that good stuff. See what I'm saying? You were handed a gift. You were touched by God. That means you can't rest.

16:17 Yeah.

16:18 Adam Yeah.

16:19 I understand.

16:20 Adam All right. I hope you do. I mean, it's a burden. Yeah. Like any great artist, you may burn out. Yeah. But it's important that you share your gift.

16:32 Caller Yeah.

16:32 Adam You see what I'm saying?

16:33 Caller What if I wake up one day and it's not there anymore?

16:35 I'll wish that I did it more often, you know?

16:37 Adam That's right. Here's what I'm saying. Yeah. What if Rembrandt went, I painted a painting this year, I'm going to take next year off. What if Mozart said, my arm's tired from this heavy wand, I've been waving around, composing music and whatnot. I'm just going to do a sonata or so, and then I'm just going to take a couple of years off. You know what I'm saying? We've all had gifts, and as an artist, as someone who's been touched that way, you have to share with the rest of us, and it's a burden. I know it. Look at me, Drew.

17:09 Drew You seem to think everything's a burden, so that's you.

17:11 Adam That's right. That is me. So one more for the road. What do you say, Tyler?

17:15 All right.

17:23 Adam Yeah, all right, buddy. Hold on.

17:33 I'm still working on it.

17:34 Adam How about to suck in, Tyler? Oh, I'm working, man.

17:37 OK.

17:37 Caller I just ain't a lot.

17:38 Adam Oh, yeah, that's rough.

17:39 Caller Yeah.

17:41 Adam You want us to get back to you?

17:54 Caller Thank you.

17:54 Adam Oh yeah. That was like a four or five stager. All right, Tyler, get some rest.

17:59 Caller Good night.

18:00 Adam Nice work. He calls back. Don't be a stranger. Brian?

18:06 Caller Yeah.

18:06 Adam You're 24? What's up?

18:12 Caller I had a girlfriend for the last three years or so. And about a month ago she died in a car accident.

18:21 Caller Oh, boy.

18:22 Caller And I'm just having a real hard time dealing with that. I mean, I really don't know who to talk to.

18:28 Drew Who have you talked to?

18:30 Caller Well, I tried talking to my parents and stuff, but they're just like, oh, she was, you know, a girlfriend.

18:37 Drew What happened?

18:38 Caller She got in a car accident.

18:40 Adam Oh, I see. Hold on a second. You got a pen here? She got in a car accident? Yeah. What happened? What do you mean? Car accident? All right, hold on. I feel bad for Brian, but got in a car accident.

18:55 Drew It makes me wonder if it's real.

18:57 Adam Really?

18:58 Drew Because usually people want to tell you what's going on.

19:03 Adam What happened with the car accident? She got in a car accident?

19:05 No.

19:06 Caller She and a couple of her friends were driving home from a party.

19:09 Adam There we go.

19:11 Caller And one of the, I guess, supposedly from the police report, a friend that was driving was kind of like under the influence of something. And she was in the front seat.

19:22 She was a passenger in the front seat.

19:24 Caller And they kind of like went off the road and flipped or whatever.

19:32 Drew And she was your girlfriend?

19:35 Caller Yes.

19:35 Drew And your parents have no sort of empathy for what you must be going through?

19:38 Caller Well, I can't hear Drew.

19:40 Adam For three years, you guys were steady boyfriend and girlfriend. And your parents aren't empathetic?

19:46 Caller Well, I mean, I don't live in home anymore.

19:49 Adam I see. You have any guy friends?

19:53 One of the guys at school, yeah.

19:55 Drew Are you at school now?

19:56 Yeah.

19:57 Drew In college?

19:58 Caller Yeah, UCSF in San Francisco.

20:01 Adam And so do you have any guy friends, any buddies? Yeah.

20:05 Caller Yeah.

20:05 Adam How are they?

20:06 Caller I mean, they're real cool about it and everything. They're trying to cheer me up, trying to take me out, trying to get my mind off of it and stuff.

20:13 Drew How long ago did it happen again?

20:14 Adam A month.

20:14 Caller About a month ago.

20:15 Adam Yeah, that's rough.

20:16 Drew It's going to take months to get sort of even through this.

20:19 Caller Yeah, I mean, is there any type of professional help that-

20:23 Drew Oh, absolutely. Yeah, there are people-

20:25 Caller Is that warranted or-

20:28 Drew Yeah, I would. You know what's interesting? Paul Rudd's girlfriend, believe it or not. Paul Rudd is?

20:33 Caller No.

20:34 Adam No.

20:34 Drew He's a famous actor. He's in the Exciter House Rules.

20:37 Adam Oh, yeah.

20:38 Drew She does counseling and sort of sets up web groups, sets up communities of people to get together and share about morning. Her fiance, a contractor when they were like 28, like two weeks before the wedding, got killed in like a building accident. Oh, yeah.

20:58 Adam Hey, Brian, you hip to the Internet? Yeah. I bet there's stuff you can find through the Internet. You really do need to, you need to grieve, you need to be with other people that are going through this. A little counseling would be great. I mean, but, you know, actually, you sound remarkably well for someone. You know, it's only been a month.

21:17 Drew Yeah.

21:18 Adam But this is going to take some months.

21:20 Drew Oh, yeah. And look, you're just a university. Universities have terrifically developed health and mental health systems. Go take advantage of what's there. Go to the mental health services of your school. They will, I promise you, have people that can help you with this.

21:33 Adam Oh, yeah.

21:33 Drew That is one of the biggest problems out there right now. A lot of these universities have these tremendously developed, sort of state of the art systems, highly motivated, you know, really high quality professionals. Kids don't come in.

21:46 Caller Hmm, hmm.

21:47 Adam Drew, when I'm taking a sip of coffee and just keep talking, would you buddy, I know you don't like to say more than three words at a time. I got to dance for my goddamn money.

21:56 Drew I misread things when you go, like it's something I'm going to say something.

22:00 Adam But listen here, Wise Hole. It's a good name for you. Wise Hole.

22:05 Drew Jack Hole, Wise Hole.

22:07 Adam Seriously. Let me make this observation.

22:10 Drew Yeah.

22:10 Adam It seems to me that there's a lot of public service announcements and things on the college level where they try to explain to everybody that they can get health care and they should get checked for this, they should get checked for that. But emotional stuff, all I hear about is people putting on tests, wanting you to take drugs and sign up for this test on depression, or they're doing a clinical survey or whatever. But you don't hear too much of, hey, you're depressed? Call this number. I mean, it's not, I mean, you do hear some commercials, and maybe I'm not articulating myself that well, but this is a big part of the human experience on this planet that is not really touched on too much. I'm not just talking about depression, because that's the problem. You hear a lot about those commercials and they'll go, if you're clinically depressed residing in the LA area in between the age of 18 and 24, you can make $50 for it. But that's not, what it needs to be is more like, hey, you got problems? Talk about it with somebody.

23:16 Drew Yeah. Kids, young people, young people, particularly, recoil away from that stuff. In fact, I was at the University of Oregon a couple weeks ago, and they were saying how they were trying to test what kind of advertisement would draw kids into sort of support groups and stuff. And of course, when they went on study, the one they picked was the big breast with the guy looking down the shirt, some come and get it kind of thing. Right. They want to come and do that. But you have to sort of give them what they want in order to give them what they need, or they do not come.

23:42 Adam All right. We will take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Marie. Marie is 19, suddenly lost interest in sex and boyfriend is upset. Wants to know what's wrong? We'll tell her what's wrong after this. Hey, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Andy Dickin here tomorrow night, probably with his band, The Bitches of the Century.

24:45 Adam And you know, a party will ensue. Marie?

24:50 Guest Yeah?

24:51 Adam You're 19?

24:52 Guest Yes.

24:53 Adam You suddenly lost interest in sex?

24:55 Guest Yes.

24:56 Adam Why?

24:57 Guest I have no clue.

24:59 Caller Yeah?

24:59 Drew Starting medication?

25:01 Guest Um, no.

25:02 Adam Uh-huh. How long ago did you lose interest in sex?

25:05 Caller Probably, um, about two months ago or so.

25:08 Drew Anything happening in the relationship then?

25:11 Guest Um, no. Actually, I've been dating the same boyfriend for about, almost eight months.

25:15 Drew That wasn't what I asked. What was that? Anything happened in the relationship two months ago?

25:20 Adam Dating the same guy for eight months.

25:22 Guest No, I don't, I don't know of anything that would, you know, stick out that...

25:26 Drew Like your feelings changed about this guy?

25:28 Guest No, no. I love him more, you know, than ever, so...

25:33 Adam That's quite a convincing testimonial. You love more than ever.

25:38 Guest More than ever.

25:40 Adam And, you see, you're more in love with him now than you were two weeks after you met him.

25:47 Guest Yeah, definitely.

25:48 Adam Yeah.

25:48 Drew Is he is in love with you?

25:50 Guest Yeah.

25:51 Drew Is he available?

25:52 Guest What'd you say?

25:53 Drew Is he available in the way you need him?

25:55 Guest Yeah.

25:57 Adam Okay.

25:57 Drew You're on no medications, you're physically well, everything going okay.

26:01 Adam You never get raped?

26:03 Guest Nope.

26:03 Drew Sleeping normally?

26:05 Guest Everything's normal.

26:06 Drew You're sleeping normally, eating normally, you haven't lost much weight?

26:09 Guest No.

26:10 Drew Exercising normally?

26:13 Caller Just starting a new job last week.

26:15 Drew Your mood is okay?

26:17 Adam You're not depressed?

26:18 Guest No.

26:19 Adam He's good?

26:20 Caller Huh?

26:21 Adam He's good to you?

26:22 Guest Yeah.

26:23 Drew Exactly the way you'd want it.

26:25 Guest Oh, yes.

26:27 Adam Is it true your new job is a tram guide at Universal Studios? Let me get my invitation of Maria driving the tram at the Universal Studios. Over here on the right. House from Sackle. I had to switch your mics. Watch out for the shock from Drush. All right. What the hell did Anderson just say in my ear?

27:04 Drew I don't know.

27:04 Adam I have no idea what it meant. Oh, because there's a little reverb problem there. That's right. Hey, Marie. What are you doing for your new job?

27:15 Caller I'm a mechanic.

27:17 Adam You're a mechanic?

27:18 Guest Yeah.

27:19 Adam What do you work on?

27:22 Guest Conveyors, belts, whatever needs work.

27:25 Adam Wow. That's butch. You sure you're not a lesbian?

27:28 Guest Oh, I'm sure.

27:30 Adam All right. Well, listen, Marie, you're not depressed, you love your man more than ever. He's great to you.

27:37 Guest Yeah.

27:37 Adam Nothing's wrong with him. What's he do for a living?

27:40 Guest He works at the airport.

27:43 Adam Uh-oh. What's he do? Not security, I hope.

27:46 Guest No. He does something for Delta Airlines.

27:50 Drew Something.

27:50 Adam I see.

27:51 Drew Something? You have no idea what? You've been with him eight months?

27:55 Guest Yeah.

27:55 Drew You've been with him eight months and you don't know what he does for?

27:57 Guest Well, he loads and unloads planes.

28:00 Adam I see. Well, that's something. All right. Hey, Marie. I'm so done talking to you. My God. What do you two talk about? Really? What do you guys talk about? What is your first language? Is it English? Yes, it would be. Really? Oh my God. I think I do more talking in an evening than you do in six years.

28:26 Drew Well, that's true for most of us.

28:28 Adam That is true.

28:29 Guest I'm looking to do for the answer.

28:31 Adam All right. Well, listen, I know. But let me tell you something. Honey, when you're having a conversation, you say, what's he do for the airlines? You go, I don't know. That's not a great conversation. You understand, right?

28:41 Guest Well, I figured you guys like people that went and got to the story quick and.

28:45 Adam Okay. All right. So you love your dad?

28:49 Guest I love my dad.

28:50 Adam Any trauma? No one's in prison. Nobody beat you. Nobody raped you. No one's an alcoholic.

28:55 Guest No, I've had a pretty good life.

28:57 Adam Okay. You have any tattoos? Yeah, that's right. Of a big conveyor belt?

29:04 Guest No.

29:05 Adam Okay. Well, listen, Marie.

29:06 Drew You're not doing drugs. No medicines, no drugs. No new birth control pills. Nothing like that. No.

29:10 Adam Okay.

29:11 Drew Nothing. No provera, depo, provera shots, depo.

29:15 Adam Okay. Then start putting out. That's it. That's the end. Listen.

29:21 Drew Maybe something else is going on.

29:22 Adam Oh, who cares? Oh, who cares? Just spread your legs.

29:25 Drew Oh, jeez.

29:26 Adam Oh, come on. You love the guy. You love him more than ever. He's a great guy. I feel great. Everything's great. I love my dad. Then open your legs and quiet down. Actually, don't quiet down. Start talking more. What do you think her friends call her affectionately? Anything they have a nickname, like?

29:48 Drew Bubbles.

29:50 Adam Bubbles or a mispersonality? Jesus Christ. I swear I've had better conversations with your kids, Drew. I really have.

29:58 Drew You bet you have.

30:02 Adam Yeah. Airline. Works.

30:04 Plane.

30:06 Adam What's he do at the airline? Does something. Helen?

30:09 Hi.

30:10 Adam You're 15? Oh my God. You can talk. This is great. What's up?

30:14 Caller Okay. I'm bulimic and I know that for sure. I just want to know how I can let go about getting treatment without my parents knowing.

30:22 Drew Why is that important?

30:23 Caller Because I'm black and it's like-

30:26 Drew You're what?

30:27 Caller I'm black and it's like a white disease or you know- Yeah.

30:30 Adam You could be screwed. I remember when I came down with sickle cell, I was roundly ridiculed by my white friends. They told me it was a black disease.

30:39 Drew Helen, that's ridiculous.

30:40 Adam You're going to get screwed.

30:41 Drew But you see it that way.

30:42 Adam Well, it is a white disease. You don't have that many black chicks. Have you seen the asses on most of those black women, Drew? You think that's an eating disorder? Please. Helen, am I right?

30:53 Caller Yes.

30:53 Adam Thank you.

30:55 Drew No, you don't need to be any more ashamed, I mean, than you already are. You understand that you're obviously uncomfortable with this diagnosis no matter what color you are. And it's important to have family members involved in the treatment.

31:07 Caller Well, I mean, okay, my mom...

31:09 Drew They're the problem. And it's important to get them involved.

31:12 Adam Yeah, but it's a catch-22, Drew, because the reason you have an eating disorder is because of your intrusive parents who you can't communicate with. Right.

31:22 Drew Exactly.

31:22 Adam So how are you going to communicate with the people who gave you the eating disorder in the first place?

31:26 Drew You ain't, but you get a team of professionals in there to...

31:29 Adam What do your parents do?

31:31 Caller Okay, my mom's a doctor, my dad's a car salesman.

31:34 Adam Uh-huh. Oh, that's a tough combo. Yeah, I don't trust those car salesmen or those doctors. And they're over intrusive, they put you in dance class when you're too young and all that stuff?

31:47 Caller Well, I got beaten when I was older. I still do.

31:50 Adam You still get beaten?

31:51 Caller Yeah.

31:52 Adam Your dad does the beating?

31:53 Caller No, mom.

31:54 Adam Your mom? Your dad doesn't hit you with that big wide clip-on tie he wears to work?

32:01 Drew What kind of doctor is your mom?

32:03 Caller I think she's just a family practitioner.

32:05 Drew Well, she understands what you've got and you need to...

32:08 Caller Well, I doubt that. Is there a way to get them as least involved as possible?

32:13 Drew Yes. That's between you and your treating team.

32:16 Caller Okay. What do I order my options?

32:19 Drew Geez, you sound smart, Helen. Come on. Doesn't she strike you as a super smart person?

32:24 Adam Yeah.

32:24 Drew And she's 15 and she's already like, she's executing. She's like an executive. And look, you don't want to lose your life.

32:32 Adam Yeah, you're going to be a real ball buster one day.

32:34 Drew That's fine. That'll be good for her. Yeah. Don't...

32:37 Adam Be bad for me.

32:39 Drew The guys like Adam are too insecure to be with you, somebody like you, Helen. Just remember that. But look, this is a fatal illness potentially, and you don't want to screw your life up. This is a crossroads. You can get better. You can be put into remission. You can get on with your life and do what you want to do. But this is the opportunity. It's now.

32:54 Caller Okay.

32:54 Drew All right.

32:55 Caller Also, I started purging using laxatives, and my legs seem to be getting bigger. Is that because of water retention?

33:04 Drew Yeah, it's fluid retention. It's when you stop using the laxatives that starts to happen.

33:07 Caller Okay.

33:08 Drew You ever notice that?

33:09 Caller Yeah.

33:09 Drew Yeah, it's between the uses, and you've got to go through that for a few months. It takes a while for your kidneys to equilibrate to what you've done to them.

33:15 Adam One day we'll get a big chart in here on what different ethnicities get what diseases and what they participate in, right?

33:22 Drew What they participate in?

33:23 Adam Well, like eating disorders. Not a black woman's disease. Not necessarily a Latino woman's disease, right? More of a white woman's disease. Latinos?

33:35 Drew I've seen it across the board. I must admit, I'm not taking care of many African Americans with it.

33:40 Adam Right.

33:40 Drew But I'm doing plenty of-

33:42 Adam Mexican chicks?

33:43 Drew Latino, yeah.

33:44 Adam Latino, from Mexico though. What about Asian women? Eating disorders? Yeah, they're pretty whacked out. What about, let's see, let me try to figure out. You have some Latino chicks who have the eating disorder. You have some of the Orientals, right?

34:03 Drew Can you offend anybody else? You left anybody out?

34:05 Adam Who cares? Listen all you screwball ethnicities out there. I'm not changing your name every five minutes. You pick one, you stick with it. I'm going with it. That's all. Now, what the hell else are we?

34:15 Drew You're just scrolling through as many. Oh yeah.

34:18 Adam Now what about Jewish women? Eating disorder?

34:21 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:22 Adam Really?

34:22 Drew Yeah.

34:23 Adam They don't look like it. Really?

34:25 Drew I've seen it.

34:26 Adam Yeah, but not that much. Mostly-

34:28 Drew Intrusive parents?

34:29 Adam Ooh.

34:30 Drew Okay.

34:30 Adam Yeah, but the Jews have a sort of natural defense is built up against intrusive parents.

34:37 Drew After thousands of years.

34:38 Adam Thousands of years. Yeah, they've evolved biologically to stave off intrusive mothers. I mean, it would send a- Drew, don't clump that thing down every time. It would send a non-Jewish woman to her grave years ago. All right. So some Jews have the eating disorder. Oh, yeah. Some Latinos.

35:01 Drew I've seen male Jews with it.

35:02 Adam Really? They're kind of like chicks. Some male Latino, female Latinos, a handful of black women, right? But mostly just your waspy broads, right? And we'll get into drugs in the next hour. Certain ethnicities are into certain drugs, right?

35:20 Drew Yeah, that's true. That is true.

35:22 Adam Michael?

35:23 Caller Yeah.

35:24 Adam You're 17.

35:25 Caller Yeah.

35:25 Adam What's up?

35:26 Caller Hold on.

35:27 Caller I got something for you. Hold on a second.

35:29 Adam Oh, you got a fart? Let's see if it's real. Still there? Yeah.

35:34 Caller Here you go.

35:39 Adam I think you flushed your toilet there, huh? That's genius. What do you call that? A toilet?

35:43 Caller Huh?

35:44 Adam Yeah, go get me one of them. Huh? That's wonderful.

35:47 Drew I haven't heard you talking about your seat lately.

35:49 Caller You're welcome.

35:49 Adam Hold on a second there, Michael. Yeah, I got this toilet seat from Sweden. It's-

35:54 Drew From Sweden?

35:55 Adam Well, it's called like-

35:57 Drew That's from Japan.

35:58 Adam Oh, no, no. It's called like FON or something. It's like F-O-E-N and it has like oom-lots over the O. Yeah. And you know the lid has a hole right in the middle of it, like a finger grab. It's not a bad plan. You know what I mean? Most toilet lids are smooth, right? And if you want to lift the toilet lid, you got to get your fingers up underneath it a little, up around the sort of part, you piss up. This has just one hole right in the middle of it. You just sort of drop your finger in it.

36:31 Drew Right, right.

36:32 Adam You sit on this thing, Drew, it starts vibrating. It's hot. It starts getting hot. And then there's that remote. And the remote has a picture of a seal on it. It's a little LED readout, seal. And then you push this big orange button and you hear this, and all of a sudden, right in the anus, right in the ass. It is golden. I love that thing.

36:59 Drew You use it every time?

37:00 Adam You know what you have saved on toilet paper in the last four months since I've had that thing installed?

37:04 Drew Oh, the commodities guy. What are we talking about?

37:06 Adam $18,000 by my, and that's a conservative estimate, Drew.

37:09 Drew Speaking of conservation.

37:10 Adam Oh.

37:12 Drew Your mother must be proud.

37:13 Adam Well, the rivers are running dry, but the trees are still up. That's basically how it works. Oh, man, I'll tell you, you guys have not lived until you've had water squirted into your ass. Lukewarm water after a nice dump ski. And let me tell you, Drew, there's nothing worse. There's nothing that equals the heartache of taking a nice shower and then getting out of the shower and dropping a load.

37:36 Drew Especially with that carpet you've got going on.

37:38 Adam Like trying to get peanut butter out of shag. It is rough down there. And you get on that thing, you are living. I gotta tell you though, it has not been, and I think it's because people are jealous, but it has not been that warmly received.

37:54 Drew By your peers?

37:55 Adam Yes, the folks have seen it. First comment is-

37:57 Drew Have they tried it?

37:58 Adam Here's the first comment. Well, the thing looks very medicinal, you know?

38:02 Drew Clinical.

38:03 Adam Well, I mean, it looks like, yeah, maybe I'm using it the wrong way, but it looks like it belongs in a hospital.

38:09 Drew Right, sterile.

38:10 Adam And it looks like it's there for something. Right. I mean, it serves some medical purpose.

38:16 Drew It's an assistive device, like you've got some problem.

38:19 Adam Some people come in, no, they come in, they look at my bathroom and they go, is your grandma staying with you? Right. I go, no, what are you talking about?

38:26 Drew They call those toilets.

38:27 Adam Did she stay here? Is she coming to visit? It's like, no.

38:30 Drew Toilet risers, they call them.

38:31 Adam Yeah, they're like, what is that? No, yeah, I know. But when you get older, the toilet seat starts going funky.

38:36 Drew Yeah.

38:37 Adam You're used to seeing any deviation in the normal configuration of the toilet seat, you think old person staying here. So you see my toilet, see, this thing's got a picture of a seal on, it's got a hole in the top of it, it's got a wire coming from it, and you know.

38:52 Drew Tubing.

38:53 Adam You know, hydraulic tubing and hoses and stuff going off it. People look at that and they go, they must think some aging relative is staying at the place. And then I tell them it's for me, and they're like, oh, what's wrong with your anus? Yeah. I don't care though, Drew, I'm proud of it.

39:08 Drew Has Jimmy driven it, Daniel?

39:10 Adam No, those guys have not tested it out.

39:12 Drew Those pussies.

39:14 Adam I'm going to bring them by. It is good times. All right, we're going to take a little break, and we'll talk to, you want to talk to Michael? We tried to talk to him.

39:23 Drew He flushed the toilet.

39:25 Adam Oh, that was Michael. That's right. Troy.

39:28 Drew Here we go.

39:28 Adam Over here, yes. Danielle, she's 14, just had sex with boyfriend, and condom fell off. Didn't we start with this one?

39:35 Drew Yes, this is a good one. This one we can take care of though, right?

39:38 Adam All right, we're going to tell her what to do.

39:44 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

40:16 Adam Yeah, it is the Loveline of Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there, and we'll get back to the phones. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Danielle?

40:25 Guest Yeah.

40:25 Adam 14?

40:26 Guest Yeah.

40:27 Adam Condom came off?

40:28 Guest Uh-huh.

40:29 Well, no, it broke.

40:30 Adam Good boy. When did it break?

40:33 Guest Um, about an hour ago.

40:36 Adam Uh-huh. 14?

40:39 Caller Yeah, 14.

40:40 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

40:41 Guest 13.

40:42 Adam Oh, son of a bitch. I just can't. Where do you go from there? Where do you go?

40:48 Guest Jail.

40:48 Adam Hey, three years until you drive. Where are you going? You know what I mean? Holy Christ. All right. So, this, it broke and he had an orgasm, right?

41:02 Yeah.

41:02 Adam I see. So, how was a 13-year-old guy in the sack, by the way?

41:08 Guest How is a 13-year-old guy in the sack?

41:10 Um, I'm not sure.

41:13 Guest I'm kind of wondering that myself right now.

41:15 Do you want to talk to him?

41:16 Adam Yeah, sure. Put him on.

41:18 Guest Hello.

41:19 Adam Hey, you son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. And how's your sexual technique at 13? I don't know. Okay. Have you watched any porn movies?

41:31 Guest Yeah.

41:32 Adam Yeah. You picked up a few pointers?

41:33 Guest Yeah.

41:34 Adam Yeah. My theory is, here's my theory. Hold on a second. Drew, I think kids definitely respond to watching things like porn. I think they get better. Here's what I mean.

41:48 Drew You mean?

41:49 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying.

41:50 Drew Because we are so sheltered from all that, we know the opportunity to study any technique.

41:55 Adam Well, here's what I wanna say. You ever watch now, once in a while, like ESPN 5 or something, they have the high school basketball playoffs or high school state all-star game or whatever?

42:07 Drew Right.

42:08 Adam These guys are 16, 17 years old. Monster jams.

42:11 Drew Yes.

42:12 Adam Reverse double-pumped slams. Stuff, I mean, when I was in high school and it wasn't that long ago, guys didn't dunk. And if they did, it was just sort of two hands, whatever. Now, where do they get that idea? I mean, where do they figure out, hey, that's possible?

42:28 Drew Yeah.

42:29 Adam Well, they just watch Michael Jordan do it. Then they went, hey, screw it, I'm gonna do it. I kind of think if you watch enough hardcore porn, you probably get an idea for a move or two. You know what I'm saying?

42:42 Drew Okay.

42:42 Adam Same sort of theory there. All right. Is this Daniel's young suitor? Yeah. Okay.

42:48 Drew Let's talk to Daniel again.

42:49 Adam All right. Put your girl back on the phone, would you? All right. So the condom broke.

42:54 Caller Yeah.

42:54 Adam So you got to get that warning after pill.

42:56 Caller Yeah.

42:57 Guest How do you have a number for me?

43:01 Drew 1-888-

43:02 Caller Hold on. 1-888-

43:06 Drew Not-

43:08 Guest What?

43:09 Drew Not, N-O-T, number 2, late, L-A-T-E. Oh boy. I spoke in pot when they do that.

43:20 Caller I don't-

43:22 Guest Okay. Yeah.

43:23 Adam Did you write that down?

43:24 No.

43:25 Guest Say it again.

43:26 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Hey, if people wonder why I hate people, do you know what I mean? She's like, hold on, hold on. Let me get a pencil. Okay. Go ahead. Hold on. One eight eight eight. Not, huh? Not, huh? Not, N-O-T. Okay. Hold on. Let me see. Two to number two, late. Okay. You got that? No.

43:52 Drew That's just nuts.

43:56 Adam What are we raising here, Drew? Hey, Danielle, do you have like a pet cocker spaniel or something you could put on the phone so we could give him the goddamn number?

44:07 Caller I have a Britney spaniel.

44:09 Adam Okay. Put her on the phone.

44:11 Drew No.

44:12 Adam We need to talk to someone intelligent.

44:13 Guest Dude, do I sound really stupid?

44:15 Caller I'm sorry.

44:16 Adam Well, do you have a pen?

44:16 Drew You sound stoned.

44:18 Caller What?

44:19 Adam Are you stoned?

44:20 Guest Kind of, yeah.

44:21 Drew That's what you sound like.

44:23 Adam Okay. Listen.

44:24 Guest I'm more like Prozac and stuff.

44:26 Adam Okay. Listen though, honey. I've been stoned and driven cross country. You can pick up a pen and write a number down, can't you?

44:35 Guest No. I was just confused.

44:37 Drew She's got that pot laugh at 13.

44:39 Adam Oh my God. Do you have the pen now?

44:43 Guest I already wrote it down.

44:44 Adam Okay. What is it?

44:46 It's 1-888-NOT-2-LATE.

44:50 Drew There you go. There's another number. 1-800.

44:53 1-800.

44:53 Adam This could take 45 minutes.

44:55 Drew 2-3-0.

44:56 2-3-0.

44:57 Drew Plan, P-L-A-N.

45:00 Adam Okay.

45:01 Drew Between those numbers, you should be able to come up with a place that can get to that pill. The sooner you get it, the more effective it is. So try.

45:08 Caller How much is it going to cost?

45:09 Drew About 30 bucks.

45:11 Guest 30 bucks?

45:12 Caller Okay.

45:13 Guest Like I have that kind of money? Okay.

45:16 Adam Okay.

45:16 Drew Well, think about raising the kid or getting an abortion. That's going to be a little more money.

45:20 Adam Look at it this way. Raising a kid is going to cost you at least $65. At least. That's a conservative estimate. It could go as high as $100. My parents, even as far back as the 70s, I talked to them lately. They showed me some receipts. I audited my parents. $125. It cost them a raise from me and my sister.

45:36 Drew No.

45:37 Adam Yeah. Now my dad got some of it back because I've leased him a car.

45:40 Drew That was just the morning cereal fees, right? The Chocula expense?

45:46 Adam Cereal?

45:47 Drew No.

45:47 Adam I think I don't remember the number. Cereal was...

45:49 Drew That's all you lived on anyway.

45:50 Adam $34. Clothing was another $17. I was surprised to see it was that high. Like I said, then there was miscellaneous. I'm guessing that was formula, bottles, cleaning solution, cleaning solution, things like that. But it was up to $125. I was quite surprised by that. All right, so listen, Daniel and company, you're 13 and 14. Don't smoke so much weed. You're already on the Prozac. You're possibly pregnant, for Christ's sake. I mean, you're 14. Please, slow down. Let me yell at Daniel one more time. Daniel, honey, I don't want to bum your high, but you're already on Prozac, right? Okay, good. All right, she's back to humping. Boyfriend got another boner. It's been five minutes. All right.

46:39 Drew I'll break.

46:40 Adam All right, when is it? No. Troy?

46:43 Caller Troy? Yeah, yeah, it's me.

46:44 Adam You're 20.

46:45 Caller Yeah, I'm 20. My question is, I just recently lost probably about 100 pounds, and I started working out and stuff like that. I've always been natural, and I thought about maybe getting into some steroids because some of these guys look great, and I know it's not natural, and I was wondering if it would affect my sex drive.

47:05 Adam How much do you say you weigh?

47:06 Caller I used to weigh 320 pounds.

47:09 Adam Wow. You've lost 100?

47:11 Caller Yeah, about 100, 105.

47:13 Adam All right. How did you lose that weight?

47:15 Caller Well, I had a really bad eating habits and lazy. I took stuff like metrics and I started taking supplements and really watched my eating intensely.

47:28 Adam Okay. Hold on a second, Troy. All right. So you're saying, let me get a pen here. He ate less? I got to write that down. It's what you learn doing this show. It's amazing. All right. We're going to take a little break and then we'll tell Troy whether he ought to get on the juice or not.

47:47 This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:51 Drew We'll be right back.

48:36 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew.

48:40 Drew We go back to the phones.

48:42 Adam We doing going back to the phones?

48:43 Drew Yeah.

48:45 Adam Okay, why did you just come to me and say top of the hour, then Anderson?

48:49 Because you were giving me that look, like why did it take so long? Because I had to give extra time for the top of the hour.

48:53 Drew They do it.

48:54 Adam Yeah, I know. I was giving Anderson the look like, are we doing the top of the hour break? And he said, top of the hour.

49:00 No, you're giving me the look like, dude, turn on my mic now, or I'll throw this through the window.

49:04 Adam That's my normal look. Yeah, but that's projection. I was giving the, I thought we weren't going to do this look. All right. So here we are. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. And we'll get back with Troy. Troy's 20. Wants to take the Roids. Troy weighed 320. And now he's down to 220.

49:27 Caller I was 214 actually.

49:28 Adam Oh, hold on a second. 214. Let me write this down. And again, something else I got to write down. He lost a weight through eating less. Eating less.

49:37 Caller Yeah, I was taking like Xenadrine, stuff like that, some supplements, some weight loss supplements.

49:42 Adam I see. And you were working out too.

49:44 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

49:45 Adam So hold on again. So you're saying, oh, diet and exercise?

49:48 Caller Yeah, diet and exercise.

49:49 Drew Startling.

49:51 Adam And you lost weight.

49:54 Caller Yeah. And I've always been really heavy my entire life. I think I know obesity runs in my family. And just, you know, finally where I'm to where I'm finally looking decent, I don't want to, you know, I want to get bigger. I see these guys in the muscle magazine.

50:08 Adam Yeah.

50:08 Caller They look great. But I don't want to screw up my sex life.

50:11 Adam Yeah.

50:11 Drew Well, it's not just your sex life. Although that's one thing you'll hear from me, you'll listen to from me. But you can hurt you badly.

50:16 Adam What kind of condition was the sex life in anyway?

50:20 Caller The what? Sex life?

50:22 Adam That's my point.

50:23 Caller Yeah, there wasn't any. And now that maybe I have the opportunity, you know.

50:28 Adam All right, but listen.

50:29 Drew Do you remember the big guy at Texas A&M that stood up and said he cried because he couldn't get an erection?

50:34 Adam You're going from one extreme to another here. It's like you had a little eating disorder before and now you're going to go the opposite eating disorder.

50:43 Caller Yeah, well I don't think of it. I'm just watching what I'm eating now and I...

50:47 Drew But stay with that. Don't get into excessive sorts of behaviors around this. Adam is right, this is all disorder. Whether you're on the high end or the low end, it's obsessive.

50:57 Adam How tall are you?

50:58 Caller I'm 5'9.

51:00 Adam 5'9, you're 220. What do you... You should be trying to lose another 40 pounds.

51:04 Caller Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to build my muscle bigger though. I'm trying to lose the fat and stuff.

51:10 Adam All right, but...

51:10 Drew That's fine, keep working.

51:11 Adam All right, but let me...

51:12 Drew Increase your cardio.

51:14 Adam Let me tell you about your sex life.

51:16 Drew Okay.

51:16 Adam All right, Troy. Here's your job. You try to improve your sex life by trying to get chicks to have sex with you. That's how you do it. Yeah. Not guys to have sex with you, but chicks. Yeah. Let me explain what chicks like. Chicks like lanky. All the research I've done has indicated they like thin guys. They don't like Ichabod Crane, but you know what? They'll take him. Women do not need those muscular, oversized, bulky bodies, and there's nothing that a woman hates more than a guy who's 5'9, and looks like a jukebox. A guy who is 5'9, and weighs 135 pounds, will get more tail than a guy who's 5'9, in 2'35. Even if the guy at 2'35, is not fat.

52:08 Drew But most importantly, they like a guy with a life, who is available.

52:13 Adam No, I'm just talking, I have, listen, I was a big guy, like when I played football and stuff, I was always like a husky guy. And it drove me nuts that all the wusses got the poontang. But it's the God's honest, and that whole sort of thing about he-man and broad-shouldered and big chess and Charles Atlas and getting all the ladies and all that stuff, that went out in the 50s. It does not exist anymore. It really doesn't. Close your eyes. Think about the guys who get the most tail. Think about the celebrity guys. Think about, I don't know, the Johnny Depp's or the Brad Pitt's or the Dustin Hoffman's or whoever it is. Whoever those sort of male guy sex symbol types are or were. Or even, you know, you go back, even, you know, like a Paul Newman or something. Whoever. George Clooney. Whoever. None of those guys are over 180 pounds. I'd say the average is more like 155, 160. Show me the big hunkin guys who are getting tons of tail. There are many more scrawny guys. So guys, go scrawny and you get tail. I swear to God. I have big friends. And my buddy the Wheeze. The Wheeze went 58, 59. Never weighed more than like a buck 27. I mean, this guy, somehow he looked right. He was like, yeah, it was like 59. He was 130 pounds and tons of tail. Chicks loved him.

53:45 Drew 130, wow.

53:47 Adam Yeah, it's weird, but there's some guys who can be 130 pounds and look sort of right. And all these, you know, teen idol guys and all these, they're always David Jones or whoever from the past. They're just, they're wimps. They have a lot of tail. Okay, now the guys like the big guys. The guys like the wrestlers.

54:07 Drew Gay guys, you mean?

54:08 Adam No, the teenage guys and gay guys. Actually, gay guys like what teenage guys like.

54:13 Drew Okay.

54:14 Adam You see what I'm saying?

54:14 Drew Yeah.

54:15 Adam They like the big greased up brawny guys. Chicks, wimpy guys. And it always drives the big guys nuts. They spend their whole life at the gym and then the wheeze comes in. He's been smoking pot and eating Doritos all day and he's banging on their girlfriend. You know what I'm saying?

54:32 Drew Yeah.

54:32 Adam Doesn't seem fair.

54:33 Drew No.

54:33 Adam Okay. Mary?

54:35 Yes.

54:36 Adam You're 24.

54:37 Caller Yes.

54:37 Adam What's up?

54:39 Caller I have problems getting orgasms. And I'm married and it bothers my husband.

54:46 Drew You've never been able to?

54:48 Caller Yes, I have before and I still do sometimes. I've always had a problem though getting them.

54:54 Drew And when you've been able to, what's been different or what have you done?

54:58 Caller I mean, just sometimes I can get them easy, but most of the time, it's really hard for me to get them. A lot of times I don't get them during sex at all.

55:06 Drew During intercourse.

55:07 Caller Right.

55:08 Adam What about oral sex?

55:11 Caller Well, when I get oral sex, I can get them sometimes too. Usually it's, you know.

55:20 Adam Your vagina is like a roulette wheel.

55:22 Drew What is the most reliable way somebody could approach you?

55:25 Caller Well, when he goes down on me and...

55:28 Drew So why doesn't he do more of that?

55:29 Caller Playing with me a little bit too.

55:31 Drew Right, that would be normal. Most women experience that, what you're experiencing. That's not not being able to orgasm. That's not orgasm during intercourse, which is most women.

55:40 Caller Okay.

55:41 Adam Here's the point. If he went down on you and did a good job on you, would you orgasm?

55:47 Caller Yes.

55:47 Adam All right. Weren't we basically getting at that a half hour ago?

55:52 Caller Excuse me?

55:52 Adam Okay. So, you're not that inconsistent. You have orgasms through oral sex consistently, but not through intercourse.

56:03 Caller Right. But like, when I do get them, it takes them a long time.

56:08 Adam Through intercourse.

56:09 Caller Right.

56:10 Adam But not through oral sex. You can have them that way.

56:12 Caller Well, even through oral sex, it takes a long time.

56:15 Adam How long does he have to get down there?

56:17 Caller About 30, 45 minutes.

56:19 Adam Oh, my God. A man could throw his back out in that kind of time.

56:22 Drew Yeah. He's husband. He's got to do his job. And he knows he'll get there.

56:26 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. You broads with your half hour.

56:29 Drew How often are you having sex with him?

56:32 Caller Um, three or four times a week.

56:34 Adam Wow. All right. And so he's logging at two, three hours a week down there. Couple hours a week.

56:42 Drew He isn't. That's the problem.

56:43 Adam He's not logging down there.

56:44 Drew Are you on your medication?

56:45 Caller No.

56:47 Adam So how often is he going down on you?

56:50 Caller He goes down every time.

56:51 Adam Every time. Does he stay down?

56:54 Caller He tries.

56:55 Adam Yeah. His jaw locks. Yeah. He's got TMJ. Can you leave the TV on so at least he has something to hear?

57:04 Caller We don't usually.

57:06 Adam Yeah. Give him something to do down there. Put the, where are you calling from?

57:11 Caller Dallas.

57:12 Adam Dallas.

57:13 Drew I was thinking Texas.

57:14 Adam Jesus Christ. They don't have bass. Put the Astros game on for him, would you? Okay. Let him hear something down there. I'll tell you, I've been down there for, it seems like days sometimes, but I know it's only like 15 minutes. You get down there, you get bored. Put a little talk radio on. That's nice. You're listening to something.

57:38 Drew Consider it.

57:39 Adam Sure. You put one of those cooking shows on. That's nice. A travel show.

57:43 Drew It's romantic.

57:44 Adam A computer show.

57:44 Drew Very romantic. You're all class.

57:47 Adam As women, they can tune that right out. That's nice, though, when you hear a TV going, you know?

57:55 Drew Maybe that interior design show could be on. That would turn you on.

57:58 Adam Which show? Oh, what the hell is this name? Drop that, play that one. Christopher Lowell.

58:04 Look for the areas. Fill that space. I'd like to thank all of my guests today. They did a swell job in showing us how easy it is so that we can really do it. If I can do it, they can do it, you can do it. Bye-bye for now.

58:17 Adam Straight as an arrow, that boy. Straight as an arrow. All right. You're right, Drew. Josh?

58:24 Caller Yeah.

58:24 Adam You're 18.

58:25 Caller Yeah. I was wondering what the long-term effects of codeine syrup are.

58:30 Drew Well, you know the drug heroin?

58:32 Caller Excuse me?

58:33 Drew Do you know the drug heroin?

58:35 Caller Yes.

58:35 Drew Okay. Close relative of codeine. It's profound addiction. It's a very addictive drug. When you try to stop, you will get full-blown opiate withdrawal.

58:44 Adam Is that cough medicine you're drinking?

58:47 Caller Well, the good part of it.

58:49 Drew The codeine part.

58:50 Caller That gets you messed up.

58:52 Adam Yeah, but you're drinking the whole cough medicine, aren't you?

58:56 Caller I'm getting just the codeine.

58:58 Drew How do you do that?

59:01 Caller Through people. That's all I know. It's a stronger.

59:06 Drew You're getting something in it besides the codeine, I guarantee you.

59:09 Caller Well, there's a little bit of some other stuff, but it's basically mostly codeine.

59:16 Adam What color is it?

59:18 Caller It's red, sometimes purple.

59:20 Drew That's, look, one is poly-hysteine.

59:22 Adam Let me work that out. Cherry and grape, you moron.

59:26 Drew One is poly-hysteine with the codeine. The other is probably a Robitussin with codeine. Yeah. Okay. You get lots of the stuff in there with the codeine. Things like pseudo-phedra and this and that.

59:37 Adam I'm done. I'm done with our, I'm done talking everyone into my initial, into my initial answer to them. You know what I mean? It's like, it's about all night. It's like you have orgasm, uh-huh. But it's real inconsistent, uh-huh. Even during oral sex? Yeah, it's very inconsistent. So if he performs oral sex and it's inconsistent, uh-huh. So it's inconsistent during intercourse, but if he gave you oral sex, would you have orgasm?

1:00:04 Caller Uh-huh.

1:00:06 Adam You know, it's like, hey, you're drinking cough medicine, uh-huh, just a codeine. Well, where are you getting just the codeine? I can get it. What color is it? It's grape and cherry is what he's getting, you idiot. Who's getting straight codeine?

1:00:22 Drew Yeah, I don't know where they would get that.

1:00:24 Adam I didn't even know. I mean, you'd have to know somebody over to like a chemical plant or something. So he's drinking codeine.

1:00:31 Drew So cough syrup with codeine.

1:00:32 Adam Right. He's going to get addicted.

1:00:34 Drew If you're not careful, wait, you will get addicted already, Josh.

1:00:37 Caller No, I don't do it regularly. It's just something I've done lately.

1:00:41 Adam All right. You can't just drink booze like every other 18 year old.

1:00:45 Caller It's just something somebody offered.

1:00:50 Drew It was well, when they offer heroin, you can try that too. I said that.

1:00:53 Caller Well, see, I didn't do this. I figured it was if you get drunk off it, it wouldn't be the same thing. It wouldn't be anything like that. But now that I know, I'm not going to.

1:01:03 Adam Good. All right. Don't mess with yourself, Josh. All right. Save your brain.

1:01:09 Caller I'll do my best.

1:01:10 Adam All right, buddy.

1:01:10 Drew Coding withdrawal is pretty miserable, too.

1:01:12 Adam It is?

1:01:13 Drew Awful diarrhea.

1:01:14 Adam Oh, really?

1:01:16 Drew And the usual opioid withdrawal, just awful bone pain, everything else.

1:01:20 Adam Tessa?

1:01:21 Yeah.

1:01:22 Adam You're 17.

1:01:23 Caller Yeah.

1:01:23 Adam What's up?

1:01:25 Caller Well, I got a girlfriend, and she's like head over heels in love with me, but I can't feel nothing.

1:01:32 Drew Have you ever had a girlfriend?

1:01:34 Adam Huh?

1:01:34 Drew Have you ever had a girlfriend?

1:01:35 Caller Yeah, lots of them.

1:01:37 Drew Lots of them. And why don't you feel anything for this one?

1:01:39 Caller I have not a clue. Usually by now, I'm head over heels as well.

1:01:43 Drew Why do you call her girlfriend?

1:01:45 Caller Because she's with me, and we've been going out for about four and a half months now.

1:01:49 Drew But you're not into her.

1:01:51 Caller I'm not into her.

1:01:52 Adam All right. Well, you better break up.

1:01:53 Caller Yeah.

1:01:54 Adam Yeah.

1:01:55 Caller Sex is good, though.

1:01:56 Adam Yeah. Tessa?

1:01:57 Caller Yeah.

1:01:58 Adam What kind of name is that, Tessa?

1:02:01 Caller It's a girl's name.

1:02:02 Caller Oh, my.

1:02:04 Adam Hold on a second.

1:02:04 Caller Okay.

1:02:05 Drew Write that down, too.

1:02:06 Adam Oh, is that Tessa the girl?

1:02:07 Drew Yeah.

1:02:09 Adam Wow. That was lesbian. Hold on a second. Yeah, I'm going to write that down. I'm going to publish a book, and let me tell you something. It's going to be called Idiotic Answers, a Diary of a Madman, written by Adam Corolla or at least dictated by Adam Corolla, and I'm not going to go year to write this book. I can write this book in one week of Loveline with all these idiotic answers. What kind of name is Tessa? It's a girl's name. Are they being combative? Do they know I'm in a horrible mood? Are they screwing with me? Is it, or maybe I'm manufacturing it.

1:02:52 Drew No, not manufacturing it.

1:02:53 Adam I'm not? Maybe I'm getting people to do it.

1:02:55 Drew You're extra irritable tonight.

1:02:56 Adam Is that what it is? Tessa?

1:02:59 Caller Yeah.

1:03:00 Adam What kind of name is Tessa?

1:03:03 Caller Well, let me see. I have not a clue. My mom gave it to me.

1:03:07 Adam And never told you what the origin was?

1:03:09 Caller Nope.

1:03:10 Adam It's not short for something?

1:03:12 Caller Nope.

1:03:13 Adam Hey, it's not. How does it read on your birth certificate or your driver's license?

1:03:17 Guest Tessa D.

1:03:18 Adam Elliot. Tessa. And no grandparent, no other relative. No, it doesn't mean anything in any other language.

1:03:27 Caller No, it's just a normal name, just Tessa.

1:03:29 Adam Okay. There you go. And how did you become a lesbian?

1:03:34 Caller That's the way. It's just I've liked girls since I can remember.

1:03:38 Adam Anyone monkey with you?

1:03:39 Caller Huh?

1:03:40 Adam Anybody monkey with you when you were younger?

1:03:43 Caller No. It was just this is the way I was born, pretty much.

1:03:48 Drew I believe that.

1:03:48 Adam All right. Where's your dad?

1:03:50 Caller My dad's with me. My mom, we have a whole family. Nobody's divorced or nothing.

1:03:55 Adam Everyone's good?

1:03:56 Caller Yeah, everyone's good. I have a really nice family, actually.

1:03:59 Adam They know you're a lesbian?

1:04:00 Caller Yeah, came out the other night, yeah.

1:04:02 Adam Nice.

1:04:02 Drew They're okay with it?

1:04:03 Caller Yeah.

1:04:03 Drew Cool.

1:04:04 Adam They're all right, huh?

1:04:05 Caller Yeah.

1:04:05 Drew This is the real thing.

1:04:06 Adam She's a real lesbian.

1:04:07 Caller Yeah, I'm real, true life lesbian.

1:04:09 Drew Born and bred.

1:04:10 Adam Yeah. And your folks, your mom, your dad, they're all right?

1:04:14 Yeah.

1:04:15 Caller I'm gonna give my mom a heart attack, but it's all right.

1:04:18 Adam Your dad's okay, huh?

1:04:19 Drew Except for that, she's very accepting.

1:04:20 Adam Dad, I can tell you, I can tell you about dads. Mixed feelings. No grandkids, but no BJs. You know what I mean? It's like, there's the scale.

1:04:30 Caller Hmm.

1:04:32 Adam No drunken biker guy peeling out on your lawn. No unwanted pregnancies.

1:04:39 Drew No, you know what a mess men are, and you don't have to deal with that.

1:04:42 Adam Yeah, as a guy. As a guy, you think about all those horrible things you've done to women over the years, and you realize, eh, all right, eh, all right, I got a son, he's gonna have a couple of kids, that'll be fine. All right. Morgan?

1:04:58 Guest Yeah?

1:04:58 Adam You're 18.

1:04:59 Guest Yep.

1:05:00 Adam What's up?

1:05:01 Caller Well, I'm going out with my boyfriend for a year now, and my mom likes him sort of kind, I guess, but the rest of my family just lecture me all the time that he's not good for me.

1:05:11 Drew Why?

1:05:12 Caller Huh?

1:05:13 Drew What's the matter with him?

1:05:14 Caller Nothing.

1:05:15 Drew What do they say he's not good for you for?

1:05:17 Caller That he's using me for sex because my house is separate from theirs. I have like my own little room off away from the house.

1:05:26 Adam Why?

1:05:26 Drew How's that?

1:05:27 Caller Huh?

1:05:27 Adam It was like a guest house.

1:05:29 Caller Kind of, yeah.

1:05:30 Drew You live in a castle or something?

1:05:31 Caller Huh? I'm on 14 acres.

1:05:34 Adam Wow.

1:05:35 Caller Yeah, I'm on a little farm.

1:05:37 Adam Nice.

1:05:37 Drew Is this, are we talking to somebody in Napa again?

1:05:39 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:05:40 Caller Plasterville.

1:05:43 Adam Oh, I got a friend over there.

1:05:44 Drew Where is that? Is that San Francisco?

1:05:45 Adam It's up north. It's by Sacramento.

1:05:48 Caller It's 45 minutes from Lake Tahoe.

1:05:50 Drew Right.

1:05:51 Adam How close to Sacramento is it?

1:05:52 Caller About, I'd say about, it depends on how fast you're driving. If you're going the speed limit, about an hour.

1:05:59 Adam If you're going under the speed limit, be it less?

1:06:01 Drew Over the speed limit, it would be 45 minutes.

1:06:03 Adam Okay. Hey, Morgan?

1:06:05 Drew Yeah.

1:06:05 Adam Here we are again. But anyway, you're living on your own piece of property over there.

1:06:13 Caller Yeah.

1:06:13 Adam And you got your own place. And how old's your boyfriend?

1:06:16 Caller He's 20.

1:06:18 Adam Uh-huh. And he comes over there and gives you good sexual working over, right?

1:06:22 Caller Well, it's not that. It's that my grandma sits there and she wants me to live the life she wants me to live.

1:06:28 Drew Which is what?

1:06:31 Caller Which is, you know, the good little school girl who doesn't have sex until she's married and doesn't think about guys until, you know, she's 40.

1:06:39 Adam Yeah. And why does everyone know what you're up to?

1:06:41 Drew Your case is going to flip.

1:06:42 Adam Yeah.

1:06:43 Drew She's 40.

1:06:43 Caller Because they like spy on me type thing.

1:06:47 Adam Yeah.

1:06:47 Drew Why aren't you going away to school?

1:06:49 Caller Huh?

1:06:49 Drew Why aren't you going away to school?

1:06:51 Caller Well, I'm going to. I'm going to go to UC Davis.

1:06:54 Adam All right.

1:06:54 Caller All right.

1:06:55 Adam You're 18, so it can't be too far off, right?

1:06:59 Caller Well, it's just, you know, it's making our relationship a lot harder. It's really confusing.

1:07:04 Drew All right.

1:07:04 Adam But hold on.

1:07:05 Drew That's normal.

1:07:05 Adam The guy's 20 years old, right?

1:07:07 Caller Yeah.

1:07:07 Adam Does he have a place of his own?

1:07:09 Caller He's getting one right now. He just got a new job down in the snow.

1:07:12 Adam Fantastic. You go to his place.

1:07:14 Caller I'm going to, but it's just, it's making our, even now.

1:07:17 Adam Oh, we don't care.

1:07:18 Drew You're in his relationship?

1:07:21 Caller Yeah. It's putting a lot of tension on our relationship.

1:07:23 Drew That's okay.

1:07:24 Adam Your mom doesn't mind the guy.

1:07:26 Caller Well, she, you know, and her boyfriend will not allow him in the house and I eat up there.

1:07:31 Adam Your mom's boyfriend?

1:07:33 Caller Yeah.

1:07:33 Drew What is it about the guy? What is it about this guy? It is not that he's having sex with you.

1:07:37 Caller Be honest with us. I don't know. Honestly, I'm just asking.

1:07:40 Adam Be honest. What would they say? Come on, screwball. People don't just hate people, especially people that you love.

1:07:46 Drew You're going to professional school and what's he doing?

1:07:50 Caller My boyfriend?

1:07:51 Drew Yeah.

1:07:52 Caller Working.

1:07:56 Adam I'm not talking anymore.

1:07:57 Drew I'll try again. What does he do?

1:07:59 Caller He works for Granite, Flurry Seal.

1:08:03 Drew What does he do?

1:08:05 Caller That's all I pretty much know. He basically, he repairs roads.

1:08:09 Drew He's not an executive that is mapping out?

1:08:12 Adam No, he works on the roads.

1:08:13 Caller Yeah, he just started this job.

1:08:16 Adam As part of a prison chain gang? No. Has he ever had any trouble with the law?

1:08:21 Caller No, he was going to be a CO, but a correctional officer, but he really didn't have...

1:08:26 Adam Failed the drug test?

1:08:28 Drew And what does your future kind of look like?

1:08:29 Caller I'm going to be a vet.

1:08:32 Adam All right, so this guy's a road crew, and you're going off to be a doctor.

1:08:37 Caller Yeah, and you know, the reason why they don't like him...

1:08:40 Drew That's the reason. That's the reason.

1:08:42 Caller No, it's because he doesn't talk to them.

1:08:45 Adam No, it's because he doesn't talk to them.

1:08:49 Caller Yeah, he doesn't like going and talking to my mom's boyfriend.

1:08:52 Adam All right, then. That's of course why they don't like him.

1:08:55 Caller Well, because he doesn't like the way they treat this.

1:08:57 Adam All right, who cares? Oh, who cares? Listen. Listen, everybody. All that, you know, they don't like him for no good reason. They don't like him because he's having sex with me. And now it's getting to the point where she's saying, well, he doesn't talk to them. He doesn't like them.

1:09:17 Drew Well, he sounds like adult. And they want more for her. And that's fine.

1:09:21 Adam Oh, Drew's thinking like a parent. And Morgan, no, no, no. I want to get back.

1:09:28 Drew That's her.

1:09:29 Adam Oh, that's her. Yeah. Sorry. Morgan.

1:09:30 Caller Yeah.

1:09:31 Adam So he's not nice to them either.

1:09:34 Caller Yeah, he is.

1:09:35 Adam He just said he doesn't talk to him.

1:09:37 Caller He buys cigarettes for them at Reno, which is cheaper than here in California.

1:09:42 Adam Oh, my God. You think if a guy gets you...

1:09:44 Drew She's not going to vet school. It's not going to happen.

1:09:46 Adam Hey, Morgan. Seriously. You think you're going to finish college with that kind of deductive reasoning?

1:09:51 Drew Yeah.

1:09:52 Adam I can barely have a conversation with you. Really?

1:09:56 Caller I know I'm going to go...

1:09:58 Adam Let me explain something. Every girl thinks she's going to be a veterinarian. It usually stops around 14.

1:10:05 Caller I've already going through all the classes and everything I have, you know. I mean, I know what I'm doing here.

1:10:10 Adam All right.

1:10:11 Caller I already have farm experience.

1:10:15 Caller All right.

1:10:17 Adam All right. Well, if you've slopped pigs, you're in.

1:10:20 Caller Yeah, I have.

1:10:21 Adam All right. You're in, baby. You're a vet. That's right. Listen, I watched Medical Center. Why can't I be a doctor?

1:10:28 Caller Because you just...

1:10:29 Adam I watched Chips. I should be a cop, shouldn't I? I lived in a house. I should be a contractor.

1:10:35 Caller Oh, you're funny. You're real funny.

1:10:37 Adam All right. Listen, wise butt. This guy doesn't like them. They don't like him. Fine. You're going off to college in a couple of months. He's got his own... He's getting his own pad in a couple of weeks. Forget it. Just move on.

1:10:51 Drew I don't like him.

1:10:52 Adam I don't like him either. I'm not nuts about you either. So just forget it. Stop trying to fix things up. You're going off to college. Great.

1:11:00 Drew Just stay focused on your career.

1:11:01 Adam You start your own life, okay?

1:11:02 Drew Don't cling to this guy just because everybody else doesn't want him.

1:11:05 Caller Well, that's not why I'm clinging to him. They didn't meet him until four months after I went out with him.

1:11:09 Adam All right. Well, you're not nuts about this stepdad and your grandma either, are you?

1:11:14 Caller No, I'm not.

1:11:15 Adam No. All right. So you're painting the ass too and it's payback time with this guy. All right. So you rub it in their face too.

1:11:22 Drew That's what's happening.

1:11:23 Adam Yeah. You're angry at them.

1:11:25 Caller Well, yeah.

1:11:26 Adam I'm just hearing it.

1:11:26 Caller All right.

1:11:27 Adam Good. Move out. Listen everybody, just move out. That's my answer to everyone. Everyone older than 16 and a half, move out. Just move out. You don't like your parents. You don't like you're living your grandma. You got a stepdad who's a pain in the ass or mom's boyfriend's a pain in the ass. Just move out.

1:11:47 Drew Everything becomes a reaction to the parent as opposed to any sort of self-initiated action on one's self-behave.

1:11:55 Adam Yeah. You know? She's PO'd at the parents. They don't like him. He doesn't like them either.

1:12:01 Drew So she doesn't know what she wants, doesn't know who she'd be with. She's not thinking for herself. She's just reacting to something else, a negative.

1:12:08 Adam Listen, I think if they fell in love with him and begged you to marry him, you'd be done with him.

1:12:13 Drew She'd dump him.

1:12:14 Adam All right. We'll take a break. Indeed, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. All right. I just got a fax here. It's about two weeks old. First off, you can still buy Abba's Abbas.

1:13:10 Drew Okay. You checked it out.

1:13:11 Adam Someone just said they bought it at a 7-Eleven. In the 70s Japanese show where a boy could control a robot via his wristwatch, I replied on the air was, no, you said was Gigantor.

1:13:25 Drew You said Giant Robot. I said Gigantor.

1:13:27 Adam I said Giant Robot. Gigantor was an animated version, as I then said to you. But the live-action version was called Johnny Sacco and His Flying Robot. Wow.

1:13:40 Drew There's a picture of the robot. Is that the robot?

1:13:42 Adam Yeah. That is the picture of the robot. It looks like the Sphinx.

1:13:46 Drew Oh my God.

1:13:47 Adam Yeah. And His Flying Robot, one of the great science fiction of all time. Yeah. It was great. He called the robot Giant Robot though, but I think it may have been one of those Japanese translations. Yeah. You ever wonder why some of that stuff sounds whacked out? You know what I mean? Giant Robot. Yeah. That's why. I'm sure it sounded better in Japanese.

1:14:12 Drew I'm just thinking of the takes they would show on frame. It would be like going out like this.

1:14:17 Adam Yeah. I loved all that stuff. It's always funny when something from the Orient makes its way over a stateside here that sometimes the translation doesn't work real well. I saw a video game a couple of weeks back at RK, it was called Violence Fight. I looked at it for a minute and I thought, Violence Fight? Who names a video game Violence Fight? I sat and I thought for a minute and I thought, I said, what kind of idiot would name? Then I thought, Jamps. Then it all made sense. I thought, yep, that's a translation thing right there. Violence Fight.

1:14:51 Drew Hey, one of what we sent over there that gets mistranslated too.

1:14:54 Adam But it makes sense. If you're speaking Japanese and you're sitting in your office somewhere, and you're talking about a video game and violence, that's the act of people doing damage to each other and a fight, that's two guys.

1:15:07 Drew They had a violent fight. If it had been a violent fight, it would have been like, oh, gee.

1:15:12 Adam Even violent fight doesn't sound quite right for a video game, but violence fight is probably better. Rick? Yeah. You're 16. Yeah. I'm telling you, go online and find me this giant robot. Because I don't think it was called Johnny Sacco and his flying robot. No, it was called giant robot. I think Johnny Sacco was the kid's name. See what you can find there.

1:15:37 Caller Whatever.

1:15:37 Adam Can you do that? All right, Rick, what's up?

1:15:40 Caller I was just wondering how I can tell my girlfriend is having an orgasm.

1:15:45 Adam She should start hitting you and clawing on you and bending her toes weird and stuff like that. You would know.

1:15:54 Drew Okay.

1:15:55 Adam I know it sounds cliche, but you would know.

1:15:57 Drew There's muscular contraction of the vagina actually. Yeah. But of course, they can do that willfully, volitionally too.

1:16:03 Caller Like it tenses up or what?

1:16:04 Drew Yeah.

1:16:05 Adam Do you think she's faking or not having one?

1:16:07 Caller I don't know. I can't tell.

1:16:08 Adam All right. Listen. Okay. Yeah. But Rick?

1:16:11 Caller Yeah.

1:16:12 Adam I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but if you don't know, she ain't having one.

1:16:18 Caller All right.

1:16:19 Adam All right. That's all right. Oral sex, right, buddy? Yeah. Okay. 16. Tony?

1:16:25 Yeah.

1:16:26 Adam You're 20.

1:16:27 Caller Yes.

1:16:27 Adam What's up?

1:16:29 Caller I was at a party a little while ago and ended up sleeping with this girl at the party and it was a while ago. And I just heard that there's a possibility that she may have herpes.

1:16:43 Adam Yeah.

1:16:44 Caller So I was wondering if there's any way that you could tell by, you know, sensation or if there's something like...

1:16:51 Drew No...

1:16:51 Caller .something happens, maybe there's...

1:16:53 Adam Yeah. It's like it'll feel like a cat's tongue down there.

1:16:56 Caller Oh, that's great.

1:16:59 Drew There's no way you can tell.

1:16:59 Caller I don't know how that feels, but anyway.

1:17:01 Drew There's no way you can tell.

1:17:03 Adam You never had a cat lick your balls?

1:17:05 Caller Eh, dogs? No cats. Hmm.

1:17:08 Adam Yeah, it's time to step up.

1:17:10 Caller Yeah, I know. Play the big game. Anyway, but there's nothing that'll happen to show if you will have it. You know what I mean? You won't get burps, it won't hurt.

1:17:19 Drew You will, but she won't.

1:17:21 Caller Yeah, I mean, for me, if...

1:17:23 Adam Yeah, something will crop up if you got it.

1:17:25 Drew If you get it, you will get a painful or burning or itching rash.

1:17:28 Caller And will this come up? Like, because I've supposedly, I don't really know this, but if you have herpes, it goes away and comes back, kind of like, right?

1:17:36 Drew That's correct, but you can be...

1:17:37 Caller You never get rid of it.

1:17:38 Drew That's true, but you can be contagious all the time with it.

1:17:41 Adam Yeah, but listen, you'll know because you'll get something on your Johnson.

1:17:44 Drew I don't understand what it is he's asking.

1:17:46 Adam He wants to know if he has herpes.

1:17:48 Drew Oh, he wants to know if he has it?

1:17:49 Adam Yeah.

1:17:50 Drew Is he asking how to prevent from getting it from her?

1:17:53 Adam No, he's saying he wants to know if he has it.

1:17:55 Caller I'm just saying, is it possible? I could have it right now, but I don't have anything on it.

1:17:59 Drew No, you wouldn't know it. It's possible. Actually, it is possible.

1:18:01 Adam Well, you'd be heading for an outbreak at some point.

1:18:05 Caller Okay. So eventually, I would get something because I'm just kind of worried and you know what I mean?

1:18:09 Adam Yeah. Yeah, you're fine.

1:18:11 Caller Thanks guys. You're the best.

1:18:12 Adam All right, better. You'll be fine. There you go. Why keep the guy up at night? Gary?

1:18:19 Drew Robots are magazines.

1:18:19 Adam You're 16. You find anything about giant robots?

1:18:22 Drew It's like a magazine series.

1:18:23 Adam What? Giant robot? Yeah, but find giant robots.

1:18:28 Drew I'm trying. It was just my first shot here.

1:18:30 Adam All right. Hurry up. Gary?

1:18:32 Caller Yeah.

1:18:32 Adam Put that Internet to use for a change. You're 16. What's up?

1:18:36 Caller Yeah. I went to school at the beginning of spring break and it was like 420 and I got suspended for being under the influence.

1:18:46 Adam It was what?

1:18:47 Caller I got suspended for being under the influence.

1:18:49 Adam What did you say before that?

1:18:50 Drew 420? What does that mean?

1:18:52 Caller I went to school high and I got suspended.

1:18:55 Adam What does 420 have to do with it?

1:18:58 Caller No, that's just the reason I was high that day.

1:19:01 Drew It was 420?

1:19:03 It's the international time to smoke pot.

1:19:06 Adam Oh, 420. Yeah, I'm hip now. All right.

1:19:10 Drew Man, are we lame.

1:19:11 Adam Yeah, no, I've heard that before. But what does that mean?

1:19:17 Caller I don't know.

1:19:17 Caller It's just kind of stupid.

1:19:20 Caller My parents found out about it and everything. They're going to start drug testing me. I was just wondering how long it takes to get out of your system.

1:19:28 Adam The pot? Yeah. Yeah. When's the last time you smoked?

1:19:35 Caller It's been like about a week.

1:19:36 Adam All right. You're not going to smoke anymore?

1:19:39 Drew It may be out of your system.

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, you'll be fine.

1:19:42 Drew But you're going to have trouble stopping. You're going to get real depressed and irritable. You should.

1:19:47 Adam You've been smoking a lot?

1:19:49 Drew Of course. Oh, yeah.

1:19:51 Caller Like lately I have.

1:19:54 Adam Well, maybe you should quit smoking.

1:19:57 Caller I think I'm going to quit for a while.

1:19:58 Adam All right then.

1:19:59 Drew For a while and then it's going to go back.

1:20:00 Adam Oh, boy. Listen, you're such an amazing conversationalist. I can't believe the marijuana has affected you in any way at all. What do you think, Drew?

1:20:10 Drew Yeah, impossible.

1:20:11 Adam Listen, you guys who can't speak now, don't smoke pot. You become even dumber. I've said this a thousand times. There's certain people I don't mind smoking pot or doing other drugs. I really don't. If you're smart, you're articulate, you're interesting, your IQ go from 155 down to 130. Fine. Still going to have a conversation, but if you're hovering near triple digits and you think it's a good idea to get baked every morning and you're 16, you're not going to be able to hold down conversations, much less jobs. And you people don't seem to care about that. I mean, this is something I'm profoundly interested in, Drew, and if I ever become president, I'm going to run on this platform, which is only smart people can smoke weed. You Nimrods out there, you guys, the people I talk to every night, I can barely have a conversation with. You guys get baked every day, and now you go from stupid to retard. I mean, you go from working at Arby's to unemployable. I mean, there's a fine line there. I mean, think about it, everybody. I mean, look at it this way, Drew. Forget about Gianni Sacco for a second, and just listen to me.

1:21:27 Drew All right.

1:21:28 Adam Would you please?

1:21:29 Drew I'm almost on it.

1:21:30 Adam All right, but put that screen down and pay attention to me. Thank you. Okay. Here's the way I figure life breaks down. There's plateaus. There's certain people, they're motivated, they're hardworking, they're intelligent, and those people get at the top. Maybe they're CEOs, they're attorneys, they're doctors, they run big companies, they're managers, they invent things, whatever, internet companies, there's that top echelon. Then it starts working its way down a little bit. You got your mid-level management people, you got your people with a master's degree. Then you start working your way down a little to that just manager. The guy's managing a car rental place or a restaurant or something. You start working your way down, working your way down, but eventually, you work your way down to like Taco Bell. Then below that, and all these jobs are obviously you can't be a doctor, you can't be attorney with no training, and you can't manage a restaurant with no training. But the Taco Bell is one of those things, you can pretty much hire anything. Then once you get under Taco Bell, you get into retarded, disabled, unable to perform, mental disabilities, brain injuries. People that have some serious difficulty functioning. That's schizophrenics who are on heavy medications and can't leave the house. That's what you get after let's say Taco Bell. Now here's what I'm saying. If Taco Bell is your destination, and it is for a lot of the folks calling this show, listening to this show, and in this country. I mean, you don't got the horsepower to get up to the top of the ladder. You're at Taco Bell right now. You start smoking weed every day, now you're down with the retards. Except for, they're on disability. I mean, they're not supposed to be working. Right. They've had some brain function problem. They got shaken by their nanny too hard. They're missing a chromosome. There's something going on with them. You, you've put yourself down there. You have like scratching claw to get the Taco Bell job.

1:23:44 Drew Oh, they can't get off the couch sometimes.

1:23:46 Adam That's what I'm talking about. So you folks are down in the Taco Bell level. You can't smoke pot. You got to work your way up. You got to earn it. You get up with me. Then you can get banked. Right, Druski?

1:24:00 Drew That's a great message, Adam.

1:24:01 Adam That's right, brother. Dave, you're 17.

1:24:06 Caller Yeah. What's up, man?

1:24:07 Adam What's happening?

1:24:07 Caller Hey, I have a comment on the last thing about the pot thing.

1:24:11 Adam Yeah.

1:24:11 Caller All right. I've been smoking. Well, like I used to smoke every day since I was 12. And now about a month ago, I quit and I'm a waiter and, you know, and like what I've seen, I have not seen it affect me. I mean, it might have, but like my social life and my intelligence skills, it has not affected me at all. So not all of what you say is true. I'm not trying to own your case.

1:24:35 Guest Are you stupid or something?

1:24:37 Adam Why did you quit then?

1:24:39 Caller Just personal reasons because I was tired of it. I was like, hey, why, you know, my life even more later in the future.

1:24:50 Adam You did say the f-word on the radio.

1:24:52 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

1:24:53 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Let me talk to Drew. Drew, he does sound mildly retarded. Mildly, mildly. Just like a pinch. Like somebody took a, you know what they do with pixie dust? He does like retardo dust. Just a little bit of that. You know, like people with Down syndrome, how they talk? Just a tad. Just a, just a, just, just not a lot, Dave.

1:25:18 Caller Huh?

1:25:19 Drew Learn not to argue with people like that.

1:25:21 Adam But do you know what I'm talking about?

1:25:22 Drew It doesn't feel good.

1:25:23 Caller Yeah, trust me. I know exactly where you're coming from because I hang around people like that. I'm just like, man, I can't wait to see what you are in 10 years. I mean, like they're going to be exactly where you say Taco Bell.

1:25:34 Adam All right. Well, you quit and that's good and that's smart. But I can tell you something, you'd be in a better position now if you weren't stoned for the last five years.

1:25:43 Caller Well, yes, I would. But you know.

1:25:45 Drew Okay.

1:25:46 Adam Hey, Anderson.

1:25:47 Caller Oh, boy.

1:25:48 Adam Could you hear just a tad of retard in his voice, like a little bit of some syndrome going on?

1:25:55 I used to work with mentally challenged adults actually for a living.

1:25:57 Adam Oh, you did?

1:25:58 Yeah. I definitely heard something. As soon as he said the F word, I mean, we all know that he's not thinking straight.

1:26:05 Adam Nothing pisses off Anderson more than you kids using the F word on the air. You used to work with mentally challenged people?

1:26:12 Yeah, group home.

1:26:13 Adam Yeah. I can't explain the way they talk, but there's that, well, you know.

1:26:18 Well, when you asked him that, he said, oh. Right.

1:26:23 Adam That's not right. Anderson, I bet you do a good retard voice. No? Come on, brother. I mean, you worked with these people. You know, that kind of thing. I know. Listen, you won't go to hell. I'm just letting you do this.

1:26:38 Caller I mean, my version is completely out of control, and I need to be standing up, and it's too loud for these levels.

1:26:43 Adam All right. But you need to, like, flail your arms a little bit.

1:26:46 Drew Oh, come on, you guys. Let's go to a break.

1:26:47 Adam All right. We're going to take a break. Have you found Johnny Sacco yet? Johnny Sacco and his flying robot. That's the name of it?

1:26:54 Drew Let's see if it's the right one. Oh, there it is.

1:26:55 Adam Giant robot.

1:26:56 Drew There it is.

1:26:57 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back after this. Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Forget about the phone number. All right, Drew, that's enough of the computer. All right, Mr. Yes, Gigantor was the space age robot animated cartoon, and Johnny Sako, which was the little Japanese kid's name, and his flying robot was the name of that. I stand corrected. I always thought it was called Giant Robot, but his name is Giant Robot. So I was half right. You know what I loved the most about that series was, they would describe everything that was happening to them.

1:28:16 Drew Oh, wait a minute. There's three incarnations of Giant Robot.

1:28:21 Adam Uh-oh. Wait a minute. The Ace man may be right after all.

1:28:26 Drew The Influence of Johnny Sako, this site is called.

1:28:28 Adam Yeah.

1:28:29 Drew Want to read that? Let me read it to you.

1:28:30 Adam Go ahead.

1:28:31 Drew When I've learned Giant Robot exists in three incarnation, it started out by as a manga by Mitsuri Yokoyama. Next in the 60s came the live action show, Johnny Sako and his Flying Robot, which appeared both in Japan and the US, television in the 70s. Then for a long time, there was nothing until Director Imagawa resurrected Giant Robot, and many of Yokoyama's other Magna creations in Giant Robo, the animation. Like Giant Robot.

1:28:59 Adam Giant Robot, that was animated.

1:29:01 Drew Yeah. Where is Gigantor?

1:29:03 Adam I don't know, Drew. All right, shut that damn computer off before we all go insane.

1:29:09 Drew What is that?

1:29:10 Adam I don't know. I think it has to do with your computer, so shut it off. And pick the calls. Where the hell are we going here, Drew? That Internet, it's corrupting you, I'm telling you.

1:29:18 Caller I'm turning it off. I'm kidding.

1:29:21 Adam No, wait a minute, we just talked to Richard Dave.

1:29:25 Caller Anyways, I have a question. I have a problem liking girls get close to me, and I feel that love is a very strong word in a way. And I mean, I've been going out with this girl, supposedly for six months, and yakety-smacky, all that crap. And I can't face the fact that if I love her or not, and I'm just like wondering.

1:29:50 Drew This is one of the risks of having somebody stay on hold for too long.

1:29:53 Adam Yeah. Dave, do you live in a group home?

1:29:58 Caller No.

1:29:58 Adam OK. Hey, Dave, just tell her you love her. Who cares?

1:30:02 Caller Well, I care. That's why the reason I'm calling you.

1:30:04 Drew Remember the emphasis on that at 17?

1:30:06 Adam Yeah, do you like her?

1:30:08 Caller She's all right.

1:30:09 Adam All right. Well, then break up with her.

1:30:11 Caller Oh, that's a good point.

1:30:12 Drew All right. He's going to hold for 90 minutes.

1:30:15 Adam Well, we did talk to him for a few seconds. Break up with her. You're not that into her. You don't love her. You've been with her for...

1:30:22 Drew I thought he was saying that he was in love with her but didn't know how to say it.

1:30:25 Adam No, he's saying he doesn't love her. Dave, you don't love her, right?

1:30:29 Caller No, I'm saying that I can't face the fact of loving anybody.

1:30:33 Drew But he does. He's into it.

1:30:34 Adam No, he can't. He can't. Why? Is your mom mean to you?

1:30:38 Caller No, my mom is like my best friend.

1:30:41 Adam Uh-oh.

1:30:41 Drew Where's your dad?

1:30:43 Caller My dad's a dickhead.

1:30:44 Adam Ah, that could be it. Hi, Dave.

1:30:47 Caller Very much so. He's hypocritical. He thinks he's right and I'm wrong. I mean, I've proved facts that he was wrong and he still says he's right.

1:31:00 Adam Nice.

1:31:01 Caller Stuff like that.

1:31:02 Adam All right. Hey, Dave.

1:31:03 Caller Yeah.

1:31:04 Adam Listen, your dad's an a-hole. You're having a little difficulty with the intimacy, a little therapy.

1:31:10 Drew No, no, no. A little time. Come on, he's 17. All right.

1:31:13 Adam He wants to do something about it.

1:31:14 Drew Well, how about just hanging with this girl and try to express to her, talk to her about how you feel. And don't use the L word, that's all, until you feel comfortable doing so and you'll get there.

1:31:23 Adam Well, listen, you know my motto now in life. Just say it.

1:31:27 Drew Whatever it is.

1:31:29 Adam Really break it down, everybody. I mean, really think about it for a second. I mean, don't do anything you don't want to do. You don't want to get married, don't get married, you don't want to have kids, don't have kids. But if you're with somebody and you're going to be with them, and you got no plans of going anywhere, and you guys have been together for six months, and the person rolls over one night and says, you know what? I love you. Go, I love you too.

1:31:51 Caller Fine.

1:31:53 Adam Listen.

1:31:54 Drew Doesn't mean you're getting married.

1:31:55 Adam No, listen, it doesn't mean anything. You realize that when you get older. I don't know what the average, what do you think the average amount of people you've said I love you to before you got married? Do you know what I mean?

1:32:09 Drew Oh my God.

1:32:10 Adam I mean, Drew, what do you have? Six or eight? 15? 125? You know what I mean?

1:32:16 Drew Four to six.

1:32:17 Adam What do you think the average?

1:32:18 Drew I think four to six.

1:32:19 Adam Well, I mean, you look at it this way. The average person probably has.

1:32:25 Drew That is fascinating, actually, when you really think about it.

1:32:27 Adam The average person probably has three, four, five, fairly serious relationships before their marriage. And that means the average person says they love somebody four or five times before they get married. Know what I mean? And anytime you're serious with somebody, you're going to say it. I mean, Drew, you had a girlfriend in high school. You told her you loved her, right? Sure. You were like crying over the phone.

1:32:59 Caller I love you so much.

1:33:02 Caller It hurts.

1:33:03 Drew You were listening.

1:33:06 Adam My point is, you probably wish you hadn't, actually. But the point is you just throw it out there. It doesn't make a difference now. I mean, you can go home and tell your wife you love her. You can get married. It's not like he used it up. So, my point is, don't hang on to it with both hands. I mean, it's like you're hanging on to something, guys. You're getting your ass kicked around the room. You're hanging on to this. And then, eventually, you open your hands and there's nothing there. There's nothing. You thought you were protecting something. You're not. Just say you love them. Why not? Enjoy.

1:33:38 Drew There's not as much responsibility that goes along with that as you would think.

1:33:42 Adam Yeah.

1:33:42 Drew Although, it's bizarre that even from our perspective, that there wasn't more. You know what I mean?

1:33:48 Adam Listen, I could remember having a girlfriend at 19 or 20, and she was like, I love you. I said, oh, geez. I go home, and she said she loved me, and I don't know. I got to sit on this one for a little while. Meanwhile, I'm not getting any sex. She's pissed off. She's hurt. You know what I mean? I just want to love you too, baby. I'll say it on the first date now. I'll say it over there. I love all of you in advance.

1:34:13 Drew Say it to your male friends now too. It sounds weird.

1:34:15 Adam I love you guys.

1:34:16 Drew I know. You said it to me almost.

1:34:18 Adam I love you, Drew.

1:34:19 Drew Where's that David Allen Grier drop?

1:34:21 Adam I love that David Allen Grier. Drew, I love you, buddy. All right. We'll take a break.

1:34:30 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:34:32 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-N-1. We'll be right back.

1:35:02 Drew That's why I have them. Oh, here we are. Yeah. All right.

1:35:06 Adam We're going to take-

1:35:07 Drew Only people could join in those conversations we have during the break.

1:35:10 Adam Yeah.

1:35:10 Drew They're good.

1:35:11 Caller Yeah, they're solid.

1:35:12 Adam All right. Well, I'll tell you what we're talking about tomorrow night. Andy Dick and the-

1:35:17 Drew We thank.

1:35:17 Adam The big brother and his holding company is going to be in here. That's right. The Bitches of the Century are going to be here. And until next time, I'm Adam Crowe for Dr. Drew's and Mahalo.

1:35:25 Drew Those pussies. Well, now.

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Monday, May 1, 2000