Episode 1000754887332

3:58 Voiceover Adam's occasional humor and Drew's plethora of knowledge unleashed in 40 seconds. The world's dumbest callers can be heard coast to coast in 30 seconds. And life gets just a little bit better in only 20 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

4:40 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

4:49 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

4:51 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

4:53 Voiceover Loveline.

5:00 Drew Drew, there we go. All right, well, just a few seconds. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist. Perfect Circle is our guest tonight. Billy Howerdel is here. Maynard James Keenan, both from the band. Maynard, of course, you know from Tool, and you still know from Tool. Let's talk about Perfect Circle. I have some dates, by the way, where you can find them if you're listening out here at the Arrowhead Pond. That's tomorrow night with the Nine Inch Nails. San Francisco on the next night, then Portland, Spokane, Sacramento, Salt Lake, and Denver, all in the next few nights after that, all with the Nine Inch Nails, correct? And how is that, Billy? You worked with the Nine Inch Nails, right?

5:58 Yep. I was on the Downward Spiral Tour with them six years ago. Quite a while.

6:04 Drew You may have seen that, Universal Amphitheater.

6:08 Yeah. And then at the Forum, I think the Universal shows are first.

6:11 Drew Yeah. Yeah, I was there. Great concerts and great keyboards, all on these pogo sticks. You see what, Drew? It's like a large spring with a keyboard on it. You can pound on it and knock it all over the place. I don't know who thought of that, but it was a stroke of genius. Is it extremely hot in here or is that just me?

6:33 Adam You're just suddenly having a flash.

6:35 Drew What do you know?

6:36 Adam It's the alcohol.

6:37 Drew Is it the booze?

6:37 Adam Yeah.

6:38 Drew It's the withdrawal?

6:39 Adam Finally.

6:39 Drew All right.

6:40 Adam Have you been drinking? I missed it?

6:42 Drew Not tonight.

6:43 Adam No.

6:43 Drew But I got to drink soon, otherwise my skin's going to start crawling. Perfect Circles got a CD out, which I hear it debuted at number four on the rock chart, which is the highest debut for a CD ever, apparently a rock CD. What do you guys attribute that to?

7:03 Somebody doing some clever marketing and press releases.

7:07 Drew Yeah. Somebody did their job, but don't you think it's part of them knowing your prior work and ongoing work?

7:16 That would be my opinion.

7:17 Drew Yeah.

7:21 But you know, more power to them.

7:22 Drew Yeah. The CD is called, oh man, where did I write it down? Oh, yes. Drew, you say the CD because you're French. You're a French major.

7:33 No, I do it in English. That way you say a dirty word.

7:35 Drew Mer de Noms.

7:38 Adam Nice touch.

7:39 Drew Did I screw that up? Sea of Names. Drew, say it in a proper French accent.

7:44 Adam Mer de Noms.

7:45 Drew Thank you very much. And it is out. We're going to hear something off it. Actually, a couple of cuts off it before the night is through. But first, we'll get to the phones. Joe?

7:54 Hey.

7:55 Drew Hey, you're 19. What's up?

7:57 Caller Not a whole lot. First, I just want to say, hey, Maynard, your voice is beautiful, man. Thank you.

8:01 Thank you.

8:01 Caller It's awesome.

8:02 What are you wearing?

8:04 Caller Huh?

8:04 What am I wearing?

8:06 Drew Maynard, don't attempt subtle humor with our callers. It'll never work.

8:10 Caller Okay.

8:10 Adam Subtle anything.

8:11 Drew Yes. What's up there, caller Joe?

8:16 Caller Well, my girlfriend is 20 years old, and we've been together for about four or five months now. Right at the beginning of our relationship, we're both recovering addicts. That's when we both decided to kick it and start trying to get stuff together. She's never had an orgasm, and like to this day, so it's like...

8:39 Adam Never with you, never ever.

8:40 Caller Never ever, but...

8:42 Drew And she's 20?

8:43 Caller She's 20.

8:44 Drew Yeah.

8:45 Caller And she gets really close. She just...

8:47 Drew Right.

8:48 Caller After a while, it's like she either can't take it anymore, or just nothing happens.

8:51 Drew Yeah. Women do that. Guys never do that.

8:54 Adam Yeah, that's...

8:55 Drew Guys never go like, Oh, I'm... No, no, no, I'm not coming. Forget it. No, it's done. Women can do that. I don't know what that is. But once they shut down, that's it. Does she do that?

9:08 Caller Um, kind of. Well, I don't know.

9:11 Adam Is she on any medication?

9:12 Caller Uh, yeah. She's on trazodone.

9:15 Adam Yeah.

9:16 Caller She's on, um, she's on Paxil.

9:18 Adam Yeah. That's going to make it pretty tough for her.

9:21 Caller She's got, um, she's on a bunch of different medications for her thyroid.

9:24 Adam Yeah, that won't matter.

9:26 Caller That won't matter at all.

9:26 Adam The Paxil particular, the trazodone possibly can make it very difficult to climax for some people.

9:31 Drew Alright, so at least you have a chemical excuse.

9:34 Adam Right.

9:34 Drew I wish I had that myself.

9:36 Adam I suspect that's what it is, Joe.

9:38 Drew Alrighty. Yeah, but what about Never? She hasn't always been on these drugs, has she?

9:41 Adam Yeah, but now she's, how long have you guys been together? About five months. Now that she has a boyfriend, she's almost getting there, you know.

9:47 Drew Okay.

9:47 Adam We're in some medicine. You can talk to the doctor about maybe switching to Serizone or to Welbutrin. Okay?

9:53 Drew Did she ever, did she ever masturbate?

9:55 Adam Yeah.

9:56 Drew And nothing there either, huh?

9:58 Caller Just slightly. It's like there's an orgasm once in a while, but it's minor.

10:03 Drew So she does, she, she has had an orgasm then.

10:08 Caller You just, not during intercourse, and when she does, it's not like the way, when we're having sex, it's not like what she would expect. It's nothing like powerful or explosive.

10:16 Adam You know what? She has had it during masturbation. She's not telling me.

10:19 Drew I'm asking about masturbation, though.

10:21 Caller No. She has when she's masturbated, but it's not, it's not the same, I guess. I don't know. I guess I'd have to.

10:27 Adam You need to talk to her a little bit about this. It's not the same now because she's on meds. I bet she had done it before she was on meds, and it was fine, and that's what she's looking for now, and wondering why it's not happening. Well, Butrin, Sarah's on, okay?

10:37 Caller All righty.

10:38 Drew All right, Joe. Good luck in your sobriety. Tina? Tina?

10:44 A Perfect Circle Hello?

10:44 Drew Oh, Jesus. Is your radio up, Tina?

10:47 A Perfect Circle I'm sorry. That was my CD.

10:49 Drew Okay. What's up? You're 15.

10:51 A Perfect Circle Yeah. First, I just want to answer a question to you. A chode is a penis that is too thick for its length.

11:01 Adam A chode.

11:02 Drew Oh, a chode. No. No. I think it's just slang for a penis.

11:07 A Perfect Circle No.

11:08 Adam Okay.

11:09 Drew Okay.

11:09 Adam Here we go.

11:10 Drew Go ahead.

11:13 A Perfect Circle Anyway, yeah, well, Adam, you're like awesome.

11:18 You're a cool guy.

11:19 Adam Hey, Gene, do you have a question for us tonight?

11:20 Drew I have the question.

11:21 Adam Yeah.

11:22 Okay.

11:24 A Perfect Circle Well, I like have given a whole lot of blowjobs before and I think I'm addicted to it and I want to know if that's possible and if it makes me a nympho.

11:36 Adam And you're 15.

11:37 Drew Yeah. How many have you given?

11:41 A Perfect Circle I don't know. Like, I don't know how many, but probably like 30 guys.

11:45 Drew 30 guys at 15?

11:47 Adam Have you had sex before?

11:48 A Perfect Circle Once.

11:49 Adam Do you have any fantasies about being a stripper or anything like that?

11:52 A Perfect Circle No.

11:53 Adam Really?

11:54 Addicted.

11:54 A Perfect Circle No pun intended.

11:55 Drew And you are 30, huh? Where were you when I was in high school? That's going to be the name of my next book.

12:03 Is there a categorization for that? Is there a gaggle of geese and a...

12:07 A Perfect Circle If I was in high school with you, I would...

12:09 Drew Yeah, I think it's a brood of blowjobs or something. A coven. Hey, Tina?

12:17 Adam Lamboyance.

12:18 Drew What's up? Where's your daddy?

12:21 A Perfect Circle Well, I don't know who he is.

12:24 Drew I see. Yeah, sometimes I don't know who my dad is either, man. Like the other night when we were... No, you never met him? All right. And stepdaddy? Nope. So your dad just kind of abandoned the family?

12:39 A Perfect Circle Well, my mom kicked him out.

12:41 Adam And you were how old when that happened?

12:42 A Perfect Circle What?

12:42 Adam Before you were born, okay.

12:44 Drew He got kicked out because what? He was a bad guy?

12:47 A Perfect Circle Um, he molested my brother.

12:50 Adam Did your brother do anything to you?

12:51 A Perfect Circle Uh-uh.

12:52 Adam Did anybody do anything to you?

12:54 A Perfect Circle No.

12:55 Drew Sort of sounds like something happened. Well, listen, let's just assume it hasn't. Do you want to stop or do you? What's your question?

13:02 A Perfect Circle I just want to know if that's even possible or if it makes me a nympho.

13:08 Adam The term nympho doesn't really have any meaning anymore. There are people that are sexually addicted and there are sexual compulsives and it certainly would put you in the compulsive range.

13:17 A Perfect Circle I could have been molested because my sister was molested and so was my brother. And I don't remember parts of my childhood.

13:26 Drew I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you were. I mean, I don't want to label you, but I can hear your voice and you're telling me what your actions are and it sounds like you got some issues.

13:37 Adam The road to compulsivity is easily sort of entered with sexual abuse, okay? And then you asked if you were addicted. Is there addiction in your family? Yeah. Okay, so you may also be a true addict. Addicts use sex sometimes as a way of regulating feelings, as a way of getting away from unpleasantness to try to feel better. So you have the compulsion created from the sexual abuse with the addictive tendency and the progressivity of addiction and the fact that these sorts of mechanisms make you feel good. So you overuse them and they can hurt you.

14:08 Drew Alright, so what should she do?

14:11 Adam That's you, Drew. Does she want to do something?

14:16 Drew You want to stop, Dana?

14:17 A Perfect Circle Well, I mean, I don't want to stop completely, but I just...

14:21 Drew Cut down to like three blowjobs a week or something like that? Get the patch? What do you want to do? Get the semen patch? What's that?

14:29 A Perfect Circle I don't even like the people.

14:30 Drew Oh, where were you? Nobody liked me in high school. Imagine how much oral sex I would have gotten. Alright, Tina, listen. Honey, you're acting out. You know you're acting out. That's why you're calling the show. There's a part of you that knows it's wrong. You can't stop yourself, but you're gonna have to stop yourself.

14:48 Adam You have multiple options. You can go to a 12-step program. SA would be an appropriate one, although I don't know at 15.

14:55 A Perfect Circle Do you have like a number for that?

14:59 Drew Do you have a pen and pencil?

15:01 A Perfect Circle Yep.

15:01 Drew Where are you calling from?

15:02 Illinois.

15:03 Drew Illinois? Just, I'll tell you what. Can't you just call AA and they can refer her?

15:10 Adam Absolutely. They'll refer you to your area. But I think, Tina, if you can get an individual kind of a counselor or therapist, it would do you a lot of good.

15:17 A Perfect Circle I already go to a therapist.

15:19 Adam There you go. We'll talk to him or her about some 12-step program, okay?

15:22 Drew Do you tell her or him about this activity?

15:25 A Perfect Circle Yeah, he says that I probably did get in the last time.

15:29 Adam That's what it sounds like, yeah.

15:30 A Perfect Circle And that they're going to put me into hypnosis.

15:35 Drew Why?

15:36 Adam Yeah, exactly.

15:37 Drew Why?

15:38 Adam But Adam, you'll notice that some people do talk to their therapist about their sexual behavior. Do you understand?

15:42 Drew Drew, first off, I'm going to the Shrink tomorrow, so on the Eve, somehow, instinctively, you bring this up.

15:48 Adam Every week.

15:49 Drew Every week. Drew wants me to go to my therapist and walk in and start masturbating.

15:53 Adam No, talking about the fact that you walk in and start masturbating.

15:55 Drew I told you if I talk about it, I'll start doing it. So ask me to talk about it. I just like asking me to do it.

16:01 Adam That will have meaning to the therapist.

16:02 Drew How dare you, by the way, how dare you bring that up in front of our guests and all these callers.

16:07 I'll buy the film.

16:08 Drew Danielle? Yes. You're 18, what's up?

16:12 Caller Yeah, 3 weeks ago I had an abortion. I was 5 weeks pregnant and we finally got to the point where we could have sex again, where it was safe for us to have sex again. And now I'm unable to do it, like emotionally I'm unable to do it. It doesn't hurt or anything and we can mess around and stuff but it comes to the point of actual penetration and like I remember like the abortion and like what I went through and I like really get scared.

16:37 Drew Who's this with? Your boyfriend?

16:39 Caller I'm with my boyfriend.

16:40 Drew How old is he?

16:41 Caller He's 18 too.

16:42 Drew All right. 5 weeks. I mean you went through a pretty traumatic experience.

16:47 Caller Well I mean I just want to know what I can do to stop like the like, I mean I can mess around with him and we can do stuff. It's just like when it comes to like penetration I remember like it really makes me scared because I can remember exactly what I went through and what it felt like and everything.

16:59 Drew Well is it that you're going, are you going, is it the act that got you pregnant that got you the abortion that freaks you out or is it just sort of having your legs red?

17:07 Caller I think it's just like that yeah. It's just the thought of what I had to go through and what like went in me and like the noises like I can hear the noises and like feel like like I was there again you know.

17:18 Adam Have you been rendered powerless at some other time in your life? Was powerlessness an issue for you?

17:23 Caller Not no not really.

17:25 Drew What kind of noises?

17:26 Adam Vacuum.

17:27 Drew Gurgling?

17:27 Caller Yeah the vacuum and like because I was on the nitrous, I did nitrous and like I can like smell it because you know how the thing smells. I can smell it and I can hear the noises and I can hear like the nurse talking to me. It's like I totally replay it.

17:40 Adam Yeah but why?

17:41 Drew The brain is a wonderful instrument isn't it? I mean meanwhile someone probably gave you a compliment last week that you can't remember but this you'll never forget.

17:50 Adam But the post-traumatic stress reaction you're having seems somewhat more intense than usual. And listen I would never take away from a woman the amount, the intensity of this experience. The people do not prepare for even just the biological changes let alone the psychological issues. But even so this seems like a little more than that.

18:11 You're insane.

18:13 Adam Drew whispered that.

18:13 Drew Did you say that?

18:15 Adam But the fact that you sort of maybe went in predisposed in some way. That's why I asked about powerlessness.

18:20 Drew All right. Drew, I'm going to kill myself. I have to talk to another woman.

18:23 Adam It's been a while. You got to slow it. You will get over this with time. But providing you don't start having panic or anxiety, it starts to generalize. It should slowly get better. Just hopefully your boyfriend will be sensitive and you could take it slow.

18:34 Caller Yeah, he's been really good through the whole thing.

18:35 Adam It's a post-traumatic stress reaction. It should get better.

18:37 Just have him be supportive.

18:38 Adam Be good.

18:39 Drew All right.

18:40 Caller All right.

18:40 Drew Well, don't get pregnant again.

18:42 Caller That's good.

18:43 Drew I mean, in a way, it's a good thing because it'll probably prevent you from getting pregnant again.

18:46 Adam No, no.

18:47 Drew At least we don't want to.

18:48 Adam Not for a couple of weeks.

18:50 Drew You don't think so?

18:52 Adam For a few weeks.

18:52 Drew Let me say something. Yeah. You're still not using the pullout method, are you?

18:58 Caller No.

18:58 Adam What are you using?

18:59 Caller I'm on birth control pills and we're using condoms. Well, if we ever do have sex again.

19:04 Adam What happened the first time you got pregnant?

19:07 Caller I had gone off birth control because I was going to start the shot at the depot, and I went off for like three months, and then just it happened, and it was just a mistake.

19:17 Drew Okay. All right. Take care of yourself.

19:20 Adam She went out to go on the depot because she couldn't remember to take the pill.

19:22 Drew Neil? Listen, don't kick her while she's down, Drew, for Christ's sake. Neil?

19:27 Caller Yeah.

19:28 Drew You're 17. What's up?

19:29 Caller Yeah. Anyways, I have a question for Dr. Drew. Adam, I don't want to hear any smart remarks when you tell him off the phone.

19:37 All right.

19:38 Adam Almost hung up on you as such as it was.

19:40 Drew Yeah. Lucky I'm tired. I have the energy to push the button.

19:45 Caller The last couple of weeks, I've been having dreams about my guy friends and messing around with them and stuff. Right when I wake up from the dreams, I'd be having orgasm. I have a girlfriend and everything and I know I'm not gay. I'm just wondering why I'm having dreams about this kind of stuff.

20:03 Adam You're gay.

20:04 Drew Drew, please. He said he wasn't gay. How do you know you're not gay?

20:09 Caller Because I'm just not. I mean, I don't have any thoughts like when I'm, you know, in my normal, when I'm not sleeping, you know. It's like, just the last couple weeks, I've just been having dreams about guys and that.

20:20 Adam Never before.

20:21 Caller But never before. I've never had even thoughts, you know, just regular thoughts about it.

20:24 Drew What are you doing with these guys?

20:27 Caller Like, they're giving me a hand job and I'm giving them a hand job.

20:31 Adam Really?

20:31 Drew You can't do better than that in a dream? That's low self-esteem if you dream about hand jobs.

20:36 It's a dream, go for it.

20:37 Drew Yeah, you should be getting into a corn holeing and BJs. Go, you know, live a little.

20:43 It's not like anyone's going to hear it like the rest of the country.

20:45 Drew Right, for tonight. Alright, so, and these are specific friends of yours?

20:51 Caller Yeah, like, best friends of mine. Well, you're good guy friends.

20:55 Drew But if you're not gay, then what are you worried about?

20:57 Caller Well, I'm just wondering why I would be having...

20:59 Adam Well, they're normal. It's normal. Everyone gets those sorts of feelings of some type. And you may just have more of your share of this than average. And as long as it's not something that's troubling you in terms of your identity or your choices, it's just one of those feelings you get. Yeah. People have aggressive feelings. People have sexual feelings. They sort of wash over them and then they're feelings. They're okay. They're part of you.

21:21 Drew Look at it this way. How much ass do you kick in your dreams? You know what I mean? How many people have you stabbed? How many people have you shot? How many people have you bludgeoned? None. This is just my immediate family. I'm not even into the rest of society.

21:37 Adam You kill people in your dreams?

21:38 Drew All the time.

21:38 Adam What?

21:39 Drew All the time. I beat the crap out of people constantly.

21:43 Adam You're gay. You are sick.

21:44 Drew You don't do that? You are sick. Really?

21:47 Adam You scare me now.

21:49 Drew Listen, you're next. Tonight, you're on my list, buddy.

21:52 Adam I don't even know you, man.

21:53 Drew You don't do that? Don't you get in those dreams where you're fighting, you're punching, you're shooting, you're strangling people, you're cutting their heart out and holding it above your head so that the rest of the world can see you don't have that?

22:05 Adam No, I don't have that. But there's another point is there are aggressive feelings.

22:09 Drew Right. Then I get up and I go out in the world and that kicks the crap out of me. I don't do anything to anybody. All right, Neil?

22:15 Caller Yeah.

22:16 Drew You're fine. All right.

22:17 Adam Don't worry about it.

22:18 Drew All right.

22:18 Caller Okay. See you guys later.

22:19 Drew Wear a condom. All right.

22:20 Caller Bye.

22:21 Drew Yeah. Even in your sleep. Amy?

22:24 Yeah.

22:24 Drew You're 17.

22:25 Caller Yes.

22:26 Drew You're on with A Perfect Circle, by the way. We're going to hear something off their CD real soon. Go ahead.

22:31 Caller Don't mind us. Well, I called probably about two to three weeks ago. I was the one who could not get off our master rating. I have an update. I did. I did. I did.

22:44 Drew Great. We'll send you out a T-shirt. And a box of Kleenex.

22:49 Caller Now I have a problem. See, I did it in water. And apparently, it worked really well. And I tried it without water. It didn't work. And now I'm kind of worried, like, if I have, like, sex with a female again, like, if I won't be able to do anything because of the water, would not be there.

23:10 Drew If you had sex with a female again? Yeah. You're a lesbian?

23:14 Caller Yeah.

23:15 Drew Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't pull your file fast enough. Jesus Christ.

23:19 Caller It's okay.

23:19 Drew You know I don't care about our callers. I can't remember.

23:22 Become a lifeguard.

23:23 Drew Yeah. Why don't you get a job at a water park or something?

23:26 Caller Well, the thing is, it's kind of hard to hold your breath that long.

23:30 Drew Well, how long have you been a lesbian?

23:34 Details here. You're leaving out.

23:36 Caller About five years.

23:37 Drew About five years.

23:38 Adam Since we're 12.

23:39 Drew And do you have a partner now, a lesbian partner?

23:43 Caller Yes, I do.

23:45 Drew And she performs oral sex on you?

23:47 Caller Well, no, not yet. We haven't had sex yet.

23:49 Drew Well, send her down there with a water pick. You haven't had oral sex yet?

23:53 Caller Well, I have before, but not with this certain person.

23:56 Keyword snorkel.

23:58 Drew What use is there being a lesbian if you haven't had oral sex yet?

24:01 Caller I have, just not with this certain person.

24:03 Drew Well, how long have you been with her?

24:05 Caller Well, probably a few weeks.

24:09 Caller That's it.

24:10 Drew Is she a lesbian?

24:11 Caller Yeah.

24:12 Drew How come you guys haven't? Have you made out?

24:15 Caller Yeah.

24:16 Drew Are the bases the same for lesbians? I mean, do you get the second base? You grab a boob? Is that the same thing?

24:21 Caller Yeah, practically, yeah.

24:23 With today's technology.

24:24 Caller Yeah.

24:25 Drew I think there's like 11 bases now, is the way you go two and a half times around the time.

24:29 Yeah, with the shareware now.

24:30 It's a whole different thing.

24:31 Drew So, you guys, though, here's my point. I bet you would have an orgasm when the time comes that she performs oral sex on you. Why don't you just assume you will?

24:42 Caller Especially if she's a water sign.

24:45 Drew And then you can call it that. Is that a Pisces? Is that a water sign?

24:49 Caller Makes sense.

24:50 Adam Aquarius?

24:51 Drew I don't know. Why don't you call back if you don't have the orgasm after she goes down on you?

24:55 Caller Okay, I will.

24:57 Drew What did you do? Get in the bathtub and do that?

24:59 Caller Actually, I was talking to her and she told me that it works so well if you're doing it in the bathtub. So, I tried it and now every time I'm in the bathtub, I get happy.

25:09 Adam Yeah, but I don't think people were talking about just we use your hand in the bathtub?

25:13 Caller Yeah.

25:14 Adam No, they're talking about using like the spigot or the water, the water, the actual falling water.

25:20 Caller No.

25:21 Drew You're just floating in the bathtub?

25:22 Caller Yeah, I'm just taking a bath.

25:24 Adam That's not what people were talking about.

25:25 Drew Wow. But hey, if it works, fine. There you go.

25:28 You're one of the lucky ones.

25:29 Adam Yeah.

25:30 All right.

25:30 Adam You have more reason to do that.

25:32 Drew You'll be fine.

25:33 Caller Okay.

25:34 Drew All right.

25:34 Caller Thank you.

25:35 Drew Good times. All right. Heather?

25:38 Yes.

25:38 Drew Boy, she's just floating in the tub. You're 23. What's up?

25:42 Caller Well, I had a question for Maynard.

25:43 Oh.

25:44 Caller Yeah. I decoded the album and it says on there, La Cascade de Prenom.

25:51 Caller Nice touch.

25:52 Caller I want to know what that means.

25:54 Caller La Cascade de Prenom. I don't know. I don't speak French.

25:58 Drew Drew, what does that mean?

25:59 Adam Like, it's like a waterfall. Yeah. Waterfall of whatever pronoun.

26:03 First name.

26:04 Caller Waterfall of first names. You win a prize.

26:07 You win a prize. You're the first one, including journalists.

26:09 Drew Really?

26:10 Adam How did you decode it? Heather?

26:12 Caller Excuse me?

26:13 Adam How did you decode it?

26:14 Caller Oh, well, it took a long time because my friend said, this is Chinese. I said, no, that's not, you know. So it took me all night. I worked on it. And then the next day I woke up and I thought, you know what? These words on top have to be the names of the song. So I counted them and there was 13 or whatever and I don't know. I just worked with it. I think there was, there's one song with three letters in the name of it. And so I used that one.

26:40 Drew I see.

26:41 Caller Just made a little.

26:42 Drew Yeah, I'm looking for that, but I don't see it. There's a song with the word, with the number three in it. And there's a four letter.

26:48 Caller Yes, yes. Three Libras. That's how I figured it out.

26:52 Drew Well, good. Yeah. And what are these characters on the front of the album? Drew, what is that?

26:59 Adam I have no idea.

26:59 Drew Maynard, Billy?

27:01 Caller They're just a font that we created.

27:03 Drew Really? Well, it looks pretty official.

27:06 Caller So she actually decoded a lot of time on her hands.

27:09 Drew Wow. All right, Heather.

27:11 OK. All right.

27:12 Drew You call us back.

27:13 Caller We're proud of you, Heather.

27:14 Drew Call us when they get the cable fixed. OK.

27:17 Caller Take some courses in accounting with the Night of the Future.

27:19 Adam Where's the Rosetta Stone that allowed you to do that?

27:22 Drew All right. Hold on a second there, Heather. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Perfect Circle is our guest tonight. They got themselves a beautiful new CD out, and we're going to hear something off it when we come back.

27:33 You're about to get funky, yo.

27:39 Oh, we'll be right back.

28:14 Drew Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Billy and Maynard are both here from A Perfect Circle. Maria de Normes. Good enough. That's the name of the new CD. It is out. You can see them tomorrow night at the pond with Nine Inch Nails and then San Francisco, Portland, Spokane, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, and Denver all coming up in the next couple of weeks all with Nine Inch Nails. So if you're in any of those cities and you want to see that concert, I suggest you go out and get a ticket soon. We're going to hear something off the new CD. I think we'll take one call and then we'll hear the song, Judith. Steven?

28:57 Yeah.

28:58 Drew You're 15?

28:59 Caller What's up, Mayonnaise?

29:00 Drew What's up? Oh, yeah. It's my ramp name. I forgot. That's my May May Mayonnaise.

29:04 Yeah.

29:04 Drew It's Snoop Dogg calling me by my ramp name, Mayonnaise. That's got man A's, you know, when I'm white.

29:11 Yeah, because the man showing, because you're the man.

29:14 Drew Yeah, yeah. I think that's good if I finally could ramp now, but I'm working on that.

29:17 Adam Oh, yeah. That'll happen. Steven, what's going on?

29:20 Nothing much. First of all, you guys are my heroes. You're part of the reason why the situation I'm in. There's a guy kind of crazy in my geometry class. About a month and a half ago, I don't know when it was that he sang North to Alaska.

29:36 Drew Who, me? Yeah.

29:38 He was sleeping, and I crept up on him in geometry, and I sang it real loud. I said, North to Alaska, like you did. Yeah.

29:46 Drew North to Alaska, come on, the rush is on. That was me singing it.

29:52 Adam Yeah, that's enough to piss off anyone.

29:53 That's beautiful. But he woke up, and he jumped up, knocked chairs down. I started using the F-word and everything, and he got really crazy. He's just been really weird since then. On Thursday, the cops came and took him in the fifth period, because they heard from someone that he had a hit list to kill people. The on-campus cop came to me today, and he let me know that I was on it.

30:18 Drew Wow.

30:19 Yeah.

30:20 Drew So it's a good thing you sung North to Alaska while he was sleeping.

30:23 Well, it pissed me off, and I feel like sending the lyrics to Juvenile Hall.

30:29 Adam Is that where he is now?

30:30 Yeah, he's in custody right now. He's not going to come back to the school. So I hope they keep him for a long time.

30:34 Adam Is he a criminal from way back?

30:36 No, he's just a really strange guy. He was talking about natural born killers, and he had the director's cut, and all sorts of weird stuff.

30:44 Drew And he had a hit list of people at the school?

30:46 Yeah, man, one of my good friends were on it, and a couple of guys on the football team, along with me, were on it.

30:51 Drew Geez.

30:53 Power of music.

30:55 Drew I remember in high school people were scared of the jocks. Now it's like the jocks are scared they're going to get shot by a guy in a trench coat.

31:02 Yeah, I'm scared assless. I mean, I'm thinking I'm going to be out there on the football field this summer, and he could come back and just...

31:08 Drew Yeah.

31:09 Adam Have you talked to your parents about it?

31:10 Yeah, my mom, she said, don't worry about it if they got him in custody. My question was, I don't know, in the first... I'm one of those guys, kind of like you, Adam, I think everything's a big joke. I heard a rumor about it on Friday, last Friday, and I thought it was funny. I was kind of joking with my friend about it, because we thought we were both going to be on it, but we didn't know, because he was just absent the next day.

31:36 Drew Well, why did they release this hit list? How did you find out about it?

31:39 You have to. They didn't release it, but some people saw him get taken during...

31:44 Adam Wait a minute, if the police or a psychiatrist becomes aware that he has intention to kill somebody, something called a Tarasov law, where you've got to notify the people in danger.

31:51 Yeah, that's what they did. The cop came today, and he said he had to go around and tell everybody who was on it, that was on it.

31:56 Drew Wow, all right, well, you're out of harm's way, thanks to me. Once again, I've saved a young student.

32:02 Adam It's a good situation, all right, because the guy is in custody, he's under supervision, he'll be on medication, no doubt, when he gets out, and you know to stay the hell away from him. If you see him, just everybody get down, just stay away.

32:13 Drew Just drop and roll.

32:14 The police officer said that he was gonna come on the last day of school, which is my final for that class, and he was gonna, that was supposedly what he was gonna do, so should I, is it okay to go to school that day?

32:24 Adam Yeah, you should ask that the school provides some supervision.

32:27 Drew I wouldn't go, but then again, you know, I used to miss, I miss like, you know, they have Senior Ditch Day, like at sort of the end of June or the middle of June, when all the seniors just hit the beach after finals or whatever. I participated in that four years running, like 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade. Actually, every day was Senior Ditch Day when I was a senior, but yeah, I wasn't much of a student.

32:53 Adam How about a song?

32:54 Drew Drew, you want to hear a song?

32:55 Adam Yeah.

32:55 Drew All right. This is from Perfect Circle and this is called Judith.

36:48 Is that fine?

36:50 Drew Oh, yes. That's from the Perfect Circle Live at Budokan. Mer de Noms is the name of the CD. That was Judith, just one of the good songs on the CD, and we'll hear another good song in the next hour. Let's hop back onto the phones. Drew, we've had horrible calls tonight. Do you notice that? Yeah. Chris?

37:12 Adam Weird energy.

37:12 Drew Yeah, Chris, you're 15.

37:14 Caller Yeah.

37:14 Drew You got a rash on your penis for two weeks? Yeah. Have you been with a woman?

37:19 Caller Yeah, about three weeks ago, I went to this party and I had sex with this girl. Well, everybody says I had sex with this girl.

37:26 Drew I see.

37:27 Caller And I don't remember if I used a condom or not, and I just wanted to know if it could be an STD.

37:32 Adam Yeah, you had sex with unprotected, possibly with a new partner, sure.

37:35 Drew All right. So go get checked out.

37:36 Adam Got to be checked.

37:37 Drew I'm going to start burning through some of these. Austin?

37:40 Yeah.

37:40 Drew You're 17. You're on with the Perfect Circle, by the way.

37:43 Caller Oh, that's right. Well, you see, I got my girlfriend pregnant and she wants to have an abortion. And I don't want her to. And do I have any rights, you know, Maynard, about that?

37:57 Drew You'd rather her have the child and then you leave her?

37:59 Caller No, no, I don't want to leave her at all. She can leave the child.

38:02 Caller I want the child. I don't want the child to get killed.

38:05 Adam How about the child up for adoption for some...

38:07 Caller Fine with me.

38:08 Adam All right.

38:09 Drew Is that all right?

38:10 Caller Yeah, one other thing.

38:11 Drew Yeah, maybe she can do that.

38:12 Adam One other thing?

38:13 Drew Yeah.

38:14 Caller Can I ask Maynard something?

38:15 Caller Sure. Hey Maynard, ask me if I'm a tree.

38:21 Drew Turn his mic on, Maynard. Thanks.

38:25 Caller Yeah.

38:26 Drew He wants to know if you're a tree. I'm repeating it for Maynard.

38:29 He's tired.

38:31 Caller Are you a tree?

38:33 Caller No.

38:35 Drew Okay, awesome. Thanks for that. All right, buddy?

38:38 Caller Yeah, that's great.

38:38 Drew Thanks. All right. Drew, here's what we've got. Here's what we burned on with this show. The hub, hub, hub. One more.

38:44 Caller Yeah, yeah.

38:44 Drew One more thing. It's always the one that gets you.

38:48 Caller Yeah.

38:48 Drew It's never a good one. Paul?

38:52 Caller How about one less?

38:53 Drew Paul?

38:54 Caller Yes.

38:54 Drew You're 23.

38:56 Caller Yeah.

38:57 Drew All right. Now, this is going to be good. Yes. You caught your wife in bed with a 15-year-old?

39:02 Caller Yep.

39:02 Drew All right. Dad is good.

39:04 Caller 15-year-old what?

39:05 Caller Okay.

39:06 Caller Well, boy.

39:08 Drew 15-year-old boy? Okay.

39:09 Caller Yeah.

39:10 Drew All right.

39:10 Caller What happened was it was a typical come home early from work, you know. All right.

39:14 Drew Hold on, Paul. We're going to take a little break.

39:16 Caller Okay.

39:16 Drew All right. Listen, one thing I've learned from this show, once you establish a schedule and you're married, stay on it. Don't ever break and come home early because there's going to be a clown raping your wife in the living room.

39:28 Adam Rodeo clown?

39:30 Drew Rodeo clown, circus clown. There's many different kinds of clowns, but rest assured one of them is going to be on your wife in the living room. You can't even come home from work 10 minutes early without finding your wife in some sort of compromising position, so just don't do it. If you get cut off work early, go to the batting cage, see a movie or just drive in a circle around your block, but do not enter that house.

39:50 Adam A Perfect Circle.

39:51 Drew Oh, very nice, Drew. Because of that segue, we'll be back with A Perfect Circle, and Paul will find the 15-year-old and his wife after this.

40:04 Adam Loveline. We'll be right back.

40:35 Drew Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew, A Perfect Circle. So, I guess tonight we got Billy and Maynard, both in here from the band. They will beat the Anaheim Pond tomorrow night with nine-inch nails, and then down the coast, and then back toward Sacramento, Salt Lake City, and Denver. And Amy Mann is going to be in here tomorrow night, who's someone who's real good, who I've always appreciated and never met, so we'll talk to her tomorrow night. Do you really know Amy Mann?

41:06 Caller No.

41:06 Caller Okay, good times. Paul? Yeah?

41:09 Caller Nice touch.

41:10 Drew You're 23. Isn't she married to Michael Penn? Is that?

41:14 Caller Sure.

41:14 Drew Yes. Okay. Paul?

41:17 Caller Okay.

41:17 Drew Oh, yeah, that's right. You're 23. You came home from work early.

41:21 Caller Yeah, I came home from work early, went in the house as normal.

41:25 Drew Yeah.

41:26 Caller Started heading for the bedroom, because she wasn't out in the living room, and peeked around the hallway there, and she's given this 15-year-old to BJ.

41:36 Drew Well?

41:37 Caller I mean, yeah, it's like, of course, you know, you walk up and, you know, well, what the hell's going on?

41:43 Drew Yeah.

41:44 Caller Yeah. So it's like, you know, we had a big old fight ensued and...

41:47 Drew What did he do? He got back on his bike and rode away?

41:52 Caller He ran away.

41:52 Drew Big wheel? What was he on? On foot or on big wheel?

41:55 Caller On foot.

41:56 Drew He wasn't on a pogo stick or a hop-a-roo or anything? And who was this kid?

42:05 Caller My brother.

42:06 Drew No.

42:07 Caller Yeah.

42:08 Drew Really?

42:09 Caller Yeah.

42:10 Drew Hold on a second. I have to discuss this with my mate. Do we believe this guy?

42:15 Adam Why did he include that in the story in the first place?

42:17 Drew The brother part? Why didn't he say that at the top?

42:19 Adam Why didn't he just say that it was my brother? The 15-year-old part is the part he...

42:22 Caller Because that was the kicker.

42:23 Adam The 15-year-old was the kicker.

42:24 Drew Yeah. On the other hand, why would he have improvised the brother? Do you know what I mean? It seemed like it was a pretty outlandish call.

42:33 Caller I think he's a porno writer and just wears test audience. He's trying to check it out.

42:37 Drew What the hell line was he on, Drew?

42:38 Adam Three.

42:39 Drew All right. Hold on. Let's try this again. Paul?

42:41 Caller Okay.

42:42 Drew Why didn't you come forward with the brother information at the top of the story?

42:45 Caller Because it is so embarrassing you guys can't even begin to imagine.

42:49 Drew Okay.

42:50 Adam So you... Okay.

42:51 Drew All right. I'll buy that. And what's up with your wife? Because this is really going to help us believe this.

42:55 Caller How old is your wife?

42:57 Caller She will be 29 here in a few days.

42:59 Adam But what's up with her? What?

43:01 Drew Yeah. She an alcoholic?

43:03 Caller 60 milligrams of Prozac a day.

43:06 Adam What's her history? What made her this way?

43:09 Caller She maintains its work.

43:12 Caller She's...

43:14 Drew Does she work at a daycare center? What do you mean work?

43:17 Caller She don't work no longer.

43:19 Drew I see.

43:20 Caller I'd rather not say what she did.

43:21 Adam What kind of work did she do?

43:23 Caller Entertainment?

43:25 Caller No, huh?

43:28 Drew Well, either she was a... Oh, okay.

43:31 Caller But...

43:33 Adam Nervous Adam.

43:33 No, her history is...

43:35 Caller You know, it's like her dad died when she was six. You know, she went through teenage years as an addict.

43:41 Adam Okay, all right. She's out now again too, I bet you.

43:45 Caller You know, I don't know.

43:48 Drew No, boy. And what's up with your kid brother?

43:52 Caller Well, needless to say, we don't talk about it.

43:53 Drew Yeah. And, you know, if he thought he got a good ass-kicking for running over a skateboard, this is really going to do it. What's that?

44:04 Caller I cut him a lot of slack because he was drunk.

44:06 Adam He was drunk?

44:07 Caller Yeah, she got him drunk.

44:09 Adam He's 15.

44:10 Drew Oh, boy.

44:11 Adam Well, she should be in jail.

44:12 Drew No kidding. Listen, you don't have any kids, do you?

44:17 Caller Yeah, we do.

44:18 Drew How many? One. All right. Listen, take him out to the desert and just drop him off. He'll have a better chance.

44:25 Adam Who's prescribing the pros, the heck?

44:27 Drew Huh?

44:28 Adam Who's prescribing?

44:28 Drew Just drop him off in the desert. Just go halfway to Vegas and throw him out of the car, and he'll have a better chance of having a good childhood.

44:37 Caller Unacceptable.

44:39 Drew Raised by a dingo and a turtle.

44:42 Caller But my main question is, she keeps saying, well, we can work this out.

44:46 Caller We can work this out.

44:47 Caller And it's like, I don't know how to get across.

44:49 Caller No, we can't.

44:51 Drew Yeah. Well, listen, Paul, you married a piece of work.

44:55 Caller No kidding.

44:56 Drew Yeah. And you're going to have to look into that. I mean, why you married such a piece of work. You know what I'm saying?

45:06 Caller Right.

45:06 Drew And maybe not for this, but in the future, don't turn the whole thing on her. All of you people that get hooked up with maniacs and people that act out, and people are abusing substance and stuff, figure you married them. So you got to take some responsibility for it, and look into it so you don't marry another one. In the meantime, I wouldn't blame you for breaking things off. I do worry about your kid.

45:32 Caller Yeah.

45:33 Drew I bet you in light of what's happened, the court might award you custody.

45:39 Caller Right.

45:39 Drew And maybe you may just have to cut your losses, get a divorce, and raise your kid as best you can.

45:48 Adam And she needs a lot of help. Who's prescribing the Prozac?

45:51 Caller Her psychiatrist.

45:52 Adam OK. Well, have you tried calling the psychiatrist and discussing what's happened?

45:57 Caller Well, I haven't. I'm going to see a psychiatrist myself.

46:01 Adam Good.

46:02 Caller And I mean, it's just I'm going insane with this.

46:05 Adam I bet. Get releases from each other so each other's psychiatrist can talk to one another so they can help you try to figure out how to deal with this.

46:11 Drew And what do you do for a living?

46:16 Caller I'm in transport.

46:17 Drew I see. That narrows it down.

46:19 Adam Hospital transport. She's a nurse.

46:21 Drew I see. Ambulance? Not really. Well, anyway, hey, Paul?

46:25 Caller Yeah.

46:26 Drew Listen, I'd go ahead and get that divorce. I'd look out for my child, number one, and you're going to have to try to do something with your kid brother, because he's on a collision course himself. You know what I'm saying?

46:40 Caller So what, like get him in therapy?

46:43 Drew You know, you may just have to sit down and talk to him and just sort of offer up the peace pipe with him or something.

46:50 Adam Possibly also bring him into this therapeutic environment you're going to be creating. He's going to be seeing somebody.

46:54 Caller Okay.

46:55 Drew Yeah.

46:56 Adam You're going to have caretakers. You got to reflect with them on all these issues.

47:00 Drew I'm sorry, Paul, but you know what? You marry a crazy woman and this is the kind of ass that happens.

47:05 Caller She wasn't crazy, you know, to begin with.

47:06 Adam I think she's out. I think she's using.

47:08 Caller You think she's out using again?

47:10 Adam Yeah. I do. This is that behavior. If she's not, she wasn't then she is now.

47:14 Drew I really hope she's using, Paul, because if she's not using, I want to know what she's doing when she goes out. Yeah.

47:19 Caller Yeah, no kidding.

47:20 Drew Yeah. All right, Paul, listen. Just get a divorce.

47:23 Caller That sounds about right.

47:25 Drew And take care of your kid, please.

47:27 Caller All right. Thanks a lot. All right.

47:28 Drew Take care of yourself. Poor Paul. But listen, don't have kids with crazy people. All of you. Please, you're ruining the world. All of you people that are reproducing with F'ed up people, that's what's ruining the world. Drew and his triplets, not worried about. His wife, the jury's still out on, but the triplets are being raised by the au pair and they're doing fine. Right, Drew?

47:48 Adam My wife's raising the triplets.

47:49 Drew Oh, she is?

47:50 Adam Yeah. And they're fine.

47:52 Drew Who's raising the au pair? The point is, all you sane together people who want to have kids, hey, have as many as you like, have a goddamn country. I don't care, but you effed up people? I mean, what chance does this kid have being raised by this kind of mama? Of course the kid's going to be effed up. And if you don't think that kid's going to be effed up, let's check into what this chick's mom was like. What do you think her mom and daddy were like? You know what I'm saying?

48:17 Adam Nightmares.

48:18 Drew I'm sure of it. All right. Brad?

48:22 Caller Yes?

48:22 Drew You're 16.

48:24 Caller Yes. For one, I'd just like to say that you guys are the greatest. I love both of you. You're my role models and I'd just like to say that.

48:34 Drew You're talking about me and Drew or Billy and Maynard?

48:36 Caller Oh, Hugh and Drew. I'm sorry.

48:39 Drew That's fine with me.

48:40 Caller I've been trying to call you guys forever. I thought starting to think that maybe your callers were fake. And I just want to say one thing before I get to my question. You know how you're always bringing up things from old TV shows that they never do anymore? That thing how they keep screwing up some guy's name and then at the end of the show, that guy, he says his own name wrong.

49:02 Drew No. No. I do know what you mean when they start screwing up a name and they get going and the guy screws it up too.

49:11 Caller Yeah.

49:11 Drew It's not necessarily at the end. Yeah, that's good, but not great. It's not even good.

49:16 Adam What's wrong, Brad? What's the question?

49:17 Caller I'm sorry. I was just wondering if methamphetidate is the same thing as Ritalin?

49:23 Adam Yes. Methylphenidate, yeah.

49:25 Caller And is that bad to mix with pot?

49:28 Drew No.

49:29 Adam It's not good.

49:29 Drew It's recommended.

49:30 Adam It's not recommended.

49:32 Drew I just heard C. Everett Koop talking about it last week on KC.

49:37 Caller Do you have ADD? I used to.

49:40 Adam And is there addiction in your family?

49:42 Caller Yeah.

49:43 Adam Do you smoke a lot of pot?

49:44 Drew No, not really. Well, you got to smoke a certain amount to come up with those sort of lame TV show analogies.

49:52 Adam You got a little bit of a laugh going, too.

49:54 Caller Oh, sorry.

49:54 Adam No, no, I mean the pot.

49:56 Drew I know.

49:56 Caller I was talking to Adam.

49:57 Drew All right. All right.

49:59 Adam You smoke a fair amount, huh? Yeah.

50:02 Drew Yeah.

50:02 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

50:02 Drew Okay. Don't mix them. Hey, Brad, you're 16, right? You worship me. You look at me as a god, right?

50:08 Caller And I go to junior college, too.

50:10 Adam Already?

50:11 Yeah.

50:11 Adam Oh, that's...

50:12 Drew It's 16?

50:13 Yeah.

50:14 Adam That's okay, isn't it?

50:15 Drew Yeah. What happened?

50:16 Caller I don't know. I'm one of those little nerdy kids, I guess.

50:18 Drew Wow. All right. Listen, don't screw yourself up with all the drugs and stuff. Wait till your brain dries, all right?

50:23 Adam That ADD...

50:24 Drew It'll be dry at 18.

50:25 Adam There's probably the addictive gene there. The ADD and addiction go together very tightly, and so be careful. Really? Yeah. Be very careful.

50:30 Drew Here's the deal, everybody. Before 18, leave your brain alone. After 18, smoke pot and hit yourself on the head with a bowling pin and drop acid. It's fine with me. Just let your brain dry. There's no hurry. Yeah. Just wait. Plenty of time. Listen, I didn't start effing myself up until recently.

50:49 Adam Enjoy.

50:50 Drew Yeah. I didn't become a boozer or a drug addict or anything until just recently.

50:55 Caller Most of my friends in high school that were drinking in high school have a problem with it now.

51:00 Drew Right. Save yourself. I'm not going to have a problem until I'm in my 40s, right, Drew?

51:03 Adam Good time.

51:04 Drew All right. We'll be back.

51:08 Adam The Bantamcrawler and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

51:51 Drew Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Perfect Circles are our guests tonight. Billy Howerdel is here in Maynard from Tulle and Perfect Circle. We're gonna hear something else off the new CD in just a little bit. And until then, we'll hop back on the phone. Melissa?

52:11 Yes?

52:12 Drew You're 20?

52:13 Caller Yes, gonna be 21.

52:15 Drew You're gonna be 21? Let me write that down.

52:18 Adam 20, then 21?

52:19 Drew Yeah. See, that's interesting, because I went from 20 to 22 and then went back to 21 and then I went to 23. And since then, I've been on.

52:27 Adam I see.

52:27 Caller That's pretty average.

52:28 Drew Yeah. I screwed myself, though, because I couldn't buy beer for an extra year. I didn't think that went out.

52:32 Adam That was your mom's idea.

52:35 Drew Melissa, what's up?

52:36 Caller Okay, well, I've been with my boyfriend for over three and a half years. And we're, like, very sexually active. But I haven't had an orgasm yet.

52:47 Drew I see. Well, maybe when you're 21.

52:49 Caller No.

52:51 Caller And, like, okay, this is the thing, though. Like, it's, like, really weird, because I've been...

52:56 Drew Hold on. I got to say something. This is what I love about women. No orgasm for three and a half years. Still very sexually active. Guys would... That'd be it. That'd be it real, real early.

53:08 Adam Yeah, back to Sega.

53:09 Drew Couple days, right. Right back to the Nintendo. Uh, does he perform oral sex on you?

53:16 Caller Uh, a lot. Uh-huh.

53:17 Drew A lot?

53:18 Caller Yeah.

53:19 Drew Why? Crops. Yeah. Boy. And each time he rolls that oral sex dice, it's snake eyes, huh?

53:27 Caller Yeah, but...

53:28 Drew God bless him, though. He keeps going back to the well. What a pun. And, uh, do you get clothes?

53:37 Caller Yeah. No, I don't.

53:39 Caller No.

53:40 Drew You ever fake one for him?

53:42 Caller No, I've told him that I haven't had one.

53:44 Drew Okay.

53:45 Caller I told him, well, I don't think I have, because I'm not sure. Like, I don't know how it's supposed to feel, but...

53:50 Caller Desire for sex yet disconnected.

53:52 Caller Hello?

53:53 Drew Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, with Maynard there.

53:57 Caller I think, like, I don't know, like, the other... Like, I had a full-body massage, and I really do think that I had one while I was getting a massage.

54:07 Caller Sure.

54:08 Caller I mean, I don't know how it's supposed to feel like... It was this weird...

54:10 Caller Massage with a happy ending...

54:12 Caller .down to my feet.

54:14 Drew Did... Was it a guy doing the massage?

54:16 Caller It was a girl.

54:18 Drew And what did she do?

54:19 Caller She was just doing the normal full-body massage, and, like, I felt, like, screaming and, like, kicking. But, like, I just, like, I just took my foot off the pillow where I was lying, you know?

54:29 Drew Yeah.

54:30 Caller And I didn't know what to do. I was, like, I was going to freak out. I felt, like, screaming.

54:34 Drew Really? And she didn't touch any of your private parts or anything? No, no, no.

54:37 Caller It's not like... No.

54:39 Drew I see.

54:39 Caller But I think that's the way it's supposed to feel.

54:41 Adam Yeah, no, that's it. This is another wonder of the woman, right?

54:44 Drew Right.

54:44 Adam She can't just... Sex regularly can't orgasm, but the massage...

54:47 Drew There's a sweaty guy and they're banging away fruitlessly for three and a half years and then she goes down to the corner and some chick gets her off by rubbing her neck and burning a little incense. Yep.

55:00 Caller Well, today I went back to get another massage and it was a man and I had the same feeling.

55:05 Drew Really?

55:05 Caller Yeah.

55:06 Drew All right.

55:06 Adam Why don't you have your boyfriend do what these guys do?

55:09 Caller No, it's not that. It's just like, I don't know what's wrong with him. I mean, or with me or what.

55:15 Caller Oh, that hurt. I felt that.

55:17 Drew Yeah. Three and a half years. Maybe you're not in love.

55:21 Caller I bet I am.

55:23 Drew Really?

55:24 Caller I think I am. Yeah. I mean, we're still together. That qualifies as love.

55:30 Drew You're too lazy to break up. That's why.

55:32 Caller So people that are sharing a jail cell are in love?

55:35 Drew Yes. That's very true.

55:37 Caller In ways.

55:38 Drew Yeah.

55:40 Caller What do you suggest? Do you think like?

55:42 Drew I think you're done with this guy.

55:44 Caller You really think so?

55:45 Drew Yeah. I think you think you're done with him too on some level, but you just sort of you're nice and you got into this routine.

55:51 Caller Sometimes I feel like it's because I'm used to him, and I'm used to the relationship.

55:56 Adam You've been his girlfriend since you were 17.

55:58 Caller Since I was 17. Yeah.

55:59 Adam You don't know anything else, and it's really normal for people to go on from there and have other relationships.

56:05 Caller Yeah.

56:05 Adam Your body is telling you something, and you're telling us something even though you don't realize you are, that this may be time for this, and that's okay. It's healthy. It's normal.

56:13 Drew All right.

56:14 Caller Okay. Well, thank you.

56:16 Drew All right. Bye. Have fun there. Wow. Women are great. Women can have orgasms driving a manual shift or a piece of workout apparatus at the gym or getting a full body massage.

56:31 Adam But I don't know if you've heard that vivid description of that difference, where they're having lots of sex, lots of oral sex, nothing happens. She has a neck massage, pow.

56:41 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've had an orgasm during a massage.

56:45 Caller That's not like some kind of indication of some kind of something physical, early age, kind of disconnected.

56:51 Adam No. It means she's not in love. Adam is right. When would they get to that sort of place emotionally, it all just happens. Okay. So she's more apt to get there in a quiet moment, you know, with the new age music going, having a massage, than with her boyfriend who makes her frustrated and contain, you know, keeps her sort of stuck in this developmental stage that she wants to break out of.

57:11 Drew Guys are the exact opposite. They could have a woman they were madly in love with give them a rub down and have nothing, or they could get a hummer from the guy who killed their family and squeeze one off. You know what I'm saying? Easily done.

57:25 Adam Yeah. Think about that.

57:27 Drew It's great being a guy. It's so easy. It's all so mechanical.

57:30 Caller Simple beasts.

57:31 Drew Yeah.

57:32 Adam Different when women are, no, they're the same, excuse me, they're the same.

57:35 Drew Yeah. Well, if you read Cosmo, you'll think they're the same, but they're absolutely not. Courtney?

57:40 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

57:40 Drew We're, you're 16. What's up?

57:42 A Perfect Circle Yeah. Hi. First I want to say hi to Maynard and Billy. You guys are like awesome. I loved your new album, and I saw you guys in San Diego this Saturday, and it was amazing. Thank you. Anyway, my question is, I want to know if ecstasy would show up on a drug test, and if so, how long before it disappears from your body?

57:56 Adam It's out pretty quick, certainly within about 8 to 12 hours. Oh, really? And I would think most routine urine screens would not specifically have MDMA on it.

58:06 A Perfect Circle Oh, okay.

58:07 Adam Some do, but I don't think most routine ones would.

58:10 Drew Where are you working, Walmart?

58:11 A Perfect Circle No, I'm thinking about getting a job soon, though.

58:14 Adam By the way, one of the reasons people don't usually put ecstasy on the screens for regular screening is that people, it's very difficult to use ecstasy that regularly.

58:23 Drew People are getting into it now.

58:25 Adam That's my point, though. Are you using it every day, a couple times a week?

58:28 A Perfect Circle No, I haven't done it before, but I have it right now.

58:32 Drew You have the ecstasy?

58:33 Adam Yeah.

58:34 Drew You've never done it before?

58:35 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

58:36 Drew You're just thinking about doing it?

58:37 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

58:38 Drew And thinking about getting a job? Yeah. Why don't you fill that application out and take that urine test and then trip on the ecstasy?

58:45 A Perfect Circle Good point.

58:45 Drew Yeah, possibly on the way home from the interview. All right? Nice planning. Yeah. All right, Courtney.

58:51 Caller I love you guys.

58:51 Caller Thanks.

58:52 Drew Thanks.

58:52 Caller Bye.

58:53 Drew Do they do drug tests on every job now or most jobs or?

58:57 Caller I had to do one to get in here.

58:58 Caller I don't know. I gave it to the whole van.

59:00 Drew Yeah, we after it was the band we had that experience with, Drew, with the drug testing. Well, after the Black Raven incident many years ago. I think we installed the metal detector. Actually, that was, Drew, that's your favorite band.

59:21 Adam Pennywise.

59:22 Drew Yeah, after Pennywise, we had a metal detector put in.

59:25 Adam Josh's favorite.

59:25 Drew Jonathan?

59:26 Yes.

59:27 Drew You're 22. What's up?

59:29 Caller Hi. My question is for Maynard. I saw your show over the weekend in San Diego, and I noticed during the song Thinking of You, you were getting a little physical in your pen. I was wondering what you were thinking about while you were masturbating in front of thousands of people.

59:47 Caller Oddly enough, you.

59:49 Caller Really?

59:49 Drew We were just talking about it during the break.

59:52 Caller Well, I am honored.

59:53 Caller Yeah.

59:55 Drew All right. Now you can masturbate to Maynard masturbating to you.

59:58 Caller I will do that tonight.

59:59 Drew All right.

1:00:00 Caller Cool.

1:00:00 Drew Good times. Fantastic. Well, a lot of people saw you guys in San Diego. Kevin?

1:00:07 Caller Yeah.

1:00:07 Drew You're 21.

1:00:08 Caller What's up?

1:00:09 Caller Not much.

1:00:10 Caller First, Maynard, Billy, saw you guys in Chicago.

1:00:11 Caller You were great.

1:00:12 Caller Love the CD.

1:00:13 Adam Thanks.

1:00:13 Caller Thank you. My girlfriend of two years told me she thinks she's bisexual.

1:00:20 Adam What led her to that conclusion?

1:00:22 Caller She's been thinking about it for like, she set up to four years.

1:00:27 Caller Lately, it's becoming more and more she's finding women attractive.

1:00:31 Drew To me, it sounds like she's done with the relationship.

1:00:34 Caller You think?

1:00:35 Drew Yes. Usually, when there's declarations made such as, I'd like to see other people or I want to find myself or I need some me time or I'm bisexual or I... Take up pottery.

1:00:46 Adam I'm gay.

1:00:47 Drew Yeah, they take up...

1:00:47 Caller She doesn't want to act on it.

1:00:49 Drew Well, she's going to do this incrementally.

1:00:53 Adam This is the first step, right?

1:00:54 Caller I mean, does she think you're going to be hurt by it?

1:00:57 Caller No.

1:00:57 Caller She just, we're very open and very honest with each other, so...

1:01:00 Adam Yeah, why did she tell you this?

1:01:02 Caller I could tell she had something on her mind and I kind of drug it out of her.

1:01:06 Caller Oh, no.

1:01:06 Adam If it's been on her mind for four years, why suddenly is it preoccupying her?

1:01:10 Caller I don't know.

1:01:11 Drew Yeah. Hey, Kevin?

1:01:13 Caller Yeah?

1:01:13 Drew This is good news and bad news. The good news is you get one threesome. The bad news is you guys are going to break up pretty soon.

1:01:21 Caller Okay.

1:01:21 Drew All right.

1:01:22 Caller So, film it.

1:01:23 Drew All right. Good times.

1:01:24 Caller All right.

1:01:24 Drew You know, they will have a, you know, the good news for guys is women who are lesbian but don't want to admit it will have a threesome. Just to get to the chick. We get that all the time. They want to be with a woman but they don't want to sort of admit that they want to be just with a woman so they do it under the auspices of a threesome. Meanwhile, they're with the chick the whole time, but who cares if you're the guy? But then that's it. When your girlfriend tells you she thinks she's bisexual, she's saying, we're going to break up pretty soon. Aaron?

1:01:57 Caller Yes.

1:01:58 Drew You're 21. What's up?

1:01:59 Caller Here's my situation. First of all, I'd like to say, Maynard, you're a gigantic inspiration. I love all your music since day one. Been a huge fan. Thank you. Also, on the Perfect Circle album, great work. Congratulations on all the success for that. Maynard, also, congratulations on the final closing of the court case, not the whole label crap. Anyway, here's my problem. Over the past two years or so, just like half men in the world, I've begun to have a habit of masquerading, probably before I go to bed. Here's my problem being...

1:02:32 Drew I do the same things if I take three naps a day, so it starts to add up.

1:02:37 Caller One betweener. Basically, when it comes to me having sex with my girlfriend or whatever, I basically go on autopilot. After I reach that area, I think my body is getting used to achieving orgasm and then going to sleep, which is causing a bit of a problem.

1:02:55 Drew I wonder if that's normal. Can you have sex... You know, here's the thing. Have sex late at night.

1:03:03 Caller Yeah, that would be great.

1:03:04 Drew And she'll want to go to bed too.

1:03:06 Adam Another one of God's treats is what pertains to the man and the woman. Women get sort of awakened and stimulated after sex. Males go to sleep.

1:03:15 Drew Right. Well, our work is done.

1:03:17 Caller So set the alarm for early in the morning. She gets up to make breakfast, and you go to sleep in a little.

1:03:22 Caller Yeah.

1:03:23 Drew What were you talking about with pornography up here? There's something on the screen that says one and a half years.

1:03:29 Caller Oh, she got kind of mixed up.

1:03:31 Caller Oh, I see.

1:03:31 Caller I was just saying that basically being kind of almost addicted to that.

1:03:35 Drew Pornography.

1:03:36 Caller Yeah.

1:03:37 Adam Yeah. See, I think there's a problem with your intimacy. You're detached from the relationship, you're sort of more into porno and sort of getting off and going to sleep than you are connecting.

1:03:47 Caller Yeah, I think that's happened due to the fact of all, you know, doing this for like four years straight.

1:03:52 Adam No. The behaviors certainly sort of add to it or give the momentum away from real connection. But this is a reason that you have trouble with intimacy.

1:04:02 Caller Actually, yeah.

1:04:02 Caller Well, it's probably true.

1:04:03 Drew All right.

1:04:04 Caller I haven't had a problem though, I mean, not to promote drug use of anything, but being on certain drugs have absolutely helped. I've lasted longer, I've been able to go longer. I may like marijuana type thing or maybe even some type of alcohol or...

1:04:17 Adam Yeah, but she's not worried about you going longer. She's worried about you being available in a real way, which you are not.

1:04:23 Caller She liked it.

1:04:24 Caller She liked what she gets, I mean. All right.

1:04:26 Adam Well, then what's the problem?

1:04:28 Caller Not much. I just like to last longer, you know. That's basically my problem. I mean, I can draw it out, but after that first shot, it's done, you know.

1:04:35 Drew Yeah. Well, join the club, jackass. I know. How dare you? All these 21-year-olds going, I'm only good for three orgasm.

1:04:42 Caller If we could figure that out, we would have.

1:04:44 Drew Yeah. That's fine. You do one, you go to bed. Greatest hits. All right.

1:04:48 Adam She's not going to be happy with that. Not with one of those donor errands.

1:04:52 Drew You know, my penis is that of a 36-year-old, but I still have a 17-year-old brain and my brain says halfway into the sex, I'm going for two.

1:05:04 Caller Oh yeah.

1:05:05 Drew Tonight, I go for two. One is not enough. Definitely two. I know I always say two, but tonight I mean two. And then it's like, I gotta sit down. I think I pulled something.

1:05:19 Adam All right. Make a sandwich.

1:05:21 Drew Yeah, I gotta make a sandwich. I gotta think this whole two thing out.

1:05:23 Caller You're 36?

1:05:24 Drew I turned 36 a couple of days back and the days of the hant trick and the twin jobs are long gone.

1:05:34 Caller I just turned 36 in April.

1:05:36 Drew Yeah, you look good. I don't look as good.

1:05:38 Caller You look just fine.

1:05:40 Adam You turned in April, too, right?

1:05:41 Drew No, I turned end of May.

1:05:42 Adam End of May, that's right.

1:05:43 Drew Hey, weren't you gonna get me a hot lather?

1:05:45 Adam I swear to God, I'm gonna be like, don't wait.

1:05:47 Drew When, for Christmas?

1:05:48 Adam Yeah, my Christmas. I'm gonna get it.

1:05:49 Drew Jesus Christ, I told you I wanted one of those hot lather dispensers.

1:05:52 Adam Invest and?

1:05:54 Drew Investigating? Yeah. For a month and a half to get a $29 item from the Save Ons?

1:06:01 Adam How do you know they have a Save On?

1:06:02 Drew How dare you? Can't find a Save On.

1:06:03 Adam That's where I'm going.

1:06:04 Drew Send one of your lackeys from drdrew.com down to the Save On and get me one of my hot shaver dispenser things, would you please?

1:06:11 Adam It's a great idea.

1:06:13 Drew It's humiliating for me to bug you for my gift each and every night. Claire?

1:06:17 A Perfect Circle Hi, Adam.

1:06:18 Drew You're 20, what's up?

1:06:19 A Perfect Circle Yeah. Oh, I love the Manchil, by the way.

1:06:22 Drew Well, thank you.

1:06:23 A Perfect Circle You're welcome. Well, okay. I think I may have had a miscarriage. My Manchil cycle is very, very regular, and it has been ever since I was 14. And not to get too graphic, I guess, it ended on about the 27th, and on the 1st, it started again, but very, very heavy, kind of clumpy, sounds gross, but. And I just, I was talking to one of my friends, and she said, oh, you had a miscarriage. And it really scared me, and I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend or.

1:06:56 Adam Have you been having unprotected sex?

1:06:57 A Perfect Circle No, no, we've been using condoms. And to my knowledge, it didn't break or anything. But I'm yet to find birth control that doesn't make me sick to my stomach. And so.

1:07:09 Drew You think that was a miscarriage, Drew?

1:07:12 Adam Three days after your period?

1:07:14 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

1:07:14 Adam No.

1:07:15 A Perfect Circle No?

1:07:16 Adam I don't see how.

1:07:16 Drew When did you have sex last before then?

1:07:19 A Perfect Circle Oh, constantly.

1:07:21 Drew Oh, I see.

1:07:22 A Perfect Circle We moved in together.

1:07:23 Drew I see. So that's it. Game on. Yeah.

1:07:26 Adam It doesn't make sense unless it was a miscarriage beginning.

1:07:28 Drew Because why would you have your period then if you were pregnant?

1:07:31 A Perfect Circle Well, that's what I thought. And then she also told me that you can still have your first one. She's had a baby already.

1:07:38 Drew I see.

1:07:39 Adam Yeah, but it's not really having your period, though.

1:07:42 A Perfect Circle Well, then what is it?

1:07:43 Adam Yeah. I don't think it was a miscarriage. You could have a varian cyst. You could have endometriosis. Could be a lot of different things. Could be nothing.

1:07:49 Drew The good news is you didn't have a miscarriage. The bad news is you're dying.

1:07:54 Adam Okay.

1:07:55 Drew Thanks for calling.

1:07:56 Adam It doesn't just... I mean, it's possible, but it just doesn't fit.

1:07:59 Drew Well, what should she do? Should she go to the gynecologist?

1:08:01 Adam I would do nothing at this point.

1:08:02 Drew Nothing? All right. Do nothing.

1:08:04 A Perfect Circle Is it too late for me to go to a doctor? Could they still tell me what's gone on?

1:08:07 Adam They might be able to. If they find something, then they will be able to equate it with that.

1:08:12 Drew Hey, Claire?

1:08:13 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

1:08:13 Drew But why are you consumed with this? I mean, you want to know whether to tell your boyfriend, you know...

1:08:20 A Perfect Circle Is this something that's going to freak out guys if I say, hey, guess what hon?

1:08:23 Caller I had a miscarriage.

1:08:25 Caller Well, how do you say that?

1:08:27 Drew I know. I'm not saying how do you say it. I'm asking why do you say it?

1:08:30 Adam Why get into it?

1:08:31 Drew Yeah. Why get into it?

1:08:32 A Perfect Circle Is it something he needs to know?

1:08:34 Adam Why?

1:08:35 Drew What? Does he want to name the clot?

1:08:37 A Perfect Circle Oh.

1:08:38 Caller Oh.

1:08:39 Drew You know what I mean? I mean, what possible reason would he need to know? Unless you're looking for something.

1:08:44 A Perfect Circle Well, I'm having a hard time with the thought of it, if that's what it is.

1:08:48 Adam Most pregnancies end in miscarriage.

1:08:51 Drew Yes. My...

1:08:52 Adam You. You ended in miscarriage.

1:08:53 Caller I ended in miscarriage, actually.

1:08:55 Drew That's what happened.

1:08:56 Adam That's going to be something that may well happen to you. The probability is you'll have something like that.

1:09:00 Drew I mean, here's my...

1:09:00 A Perfect Circle Well, the thing is, it's just emotional. It's a hard thing to think that that's happened.

1:09:05 Drew I know, but it looks like you're looking for that. You're manufacturing that. It's like you're a veteran of a war that never took place. Well, write that down, Drew. That was pretty heavy.

1:09:16 A Perfect Circle So you're saying I'm looking for attention?

1:09:18 Adam No, no. We don't know what you're doing for it. But the point is, it probably didn't happen. Why make a big case out of it?

1:09:24 A Perfect Circle Okay.

1:09:25 Drew Right. Why freak yourself out and freak your boyfriend out and everything? Just stuff goes on down there.

1:09:32 Adam I've had an irregular period. That's one of the reasons we get that. I mean, it could be thyroid condition, it could be a lot of different things. It's worthwhile getting that evaluated since it's such a change for you. But way down the list, I would think it would be miscarriage.

1:09:42 A Perfect Circle Okay, good.

1:09:43 Drew All right. So no miscarriage. Don't tell your boyfriend.

1:09:45 A Perfect Circle Thank you.

1:09:46 Drew All right. Keep using those condoms. Steve?

1:09:50 Caller Hey, what's up, you guys? First off, I'd like to say Billy and May had your show last night. It was just incredible. Your music has really enriched my life. Just like to say thanks.

1:09:58 Caller Thank you.

1:09:59 Caller All right.

1:10:01 Caller Well, my question is, I've been dating this girl for about a year now, and at first everything was cool, but as soon as we started becoming sexually active, I noticed that I start off really subtly, but she sort of likes to simulate like a date rape type thing. She'll say, stop, no stop, and if I do, then she'll get all pissed off. It was really bothering me for a while, and I told her that, and she stopped, but now she seems really bored during sex, and she sort of complains about it and stuff. I was just wondering what you thought about that, if that was normal.

1:10:36 Adam No, it's not normal. Does she articulate what it is she's needing from you?

1:10:40 Caller Well, I guess not directly, not verbally, but sort of implicit messages I'm getting from her. She's implying that she wants what we were doing before.

1:10:51 Adam Explain to us again what that is.

1:10:52 Drew Well, she wants a little simulated rape.

1:10:55 Caller She'll try and push me off of her and stuff, and if I stop, she'll just completely be like, you aren't getting it.

1:11:01 Drew Listen, Steve, every chick I'm with does that. They don't mean it. You give them another wine cooler, they're fine. Seriously, if I had listened every time, you know what I mean? If I had a dime for every time, someone said, get off me, you smell, I don't want to be here.

1:11:15 Caller Unacceptable.

1:11:17 Caller What's that?

1:11:17 Drew Yes. Steve, you know what? This isn't normal, but yet it's something that happens a lot. We hear about it all the time.

1:11:26 Caller Okay.

1:11:27 Adam It means something.

1:11:28 Drew It does mean something.

1:11:29 Adam We'd have to go to her to know what it means.

1:11:30 Drew Usually, what it means is something happened at some point.

1:11:35 Caller Is it out of her first that she ever had sex?

1:11:36 Adam No, not in the sexual abuse.

1:11:38 Drew Outside of the family?

1:11:40 Adam No, more like physical abuse. Okay.

1:11:42 Caller I understand.

1:11:42 Caller So should I encourage that type of behavior?

1:11:46 Drew Was her dad a rough guy?

1:11:48 Caller I don't like him.

1:11:49 Adam Did he whack her a few times?

1:11:51 Drew I'm asking if you're going to date him.

1:11:53 Caller Yeah, I think that he probably very lightly might have physically abused her.

1:11:56 Adam Well, that's where that comes from, typically.

1:11:58 Drew Daddy was-

1:11:59 Adam That's the pattern we see all the time.

1:12:00 Drew Right. Daddy was a little bit abusive and now you're daddy.

1:12:04 Caller I see. I don't like being daddy, though.

1:12:07 Drew I know. It's kind of weird, but on the other hand, I don't know, aren't all bets off once you hit the bedroom?

1:12:13 Caller I suppose.

1:12:15 Adam It's consensual.

1:12:16 Drew It's consensual.

1:12:17 Adam She's telling you she wants- it's a fetish slightly. In other words, it's taking away from the intimacy somewhat. On the other hand, everybody has their kind of preferences, essentially, and this isn't one that's way outside the box in terms of taking the intimacy completely away, although he is feeling somewhat objectified and detached from the experience, which is what a fetish is supposed to do.

1:12:37 Drew Yeah, but listen, I sort of think- let me ask Billy and Maynard this. As a guy, aren't you just supposed to sort of dive in and do what they dig because you're getting laid anyway, you slice it?

1:12:47 Caller Well, you know, if it's a conscious effort on both people and they're conscious of where each other are at and exploring that, it can be somewhat intimate, I think, but if you're conscious of the act that you're embarking on, if you need it to get off.

1:13:06 Drew Well, I think he's kind of- he's getting the creeps because it's feeling a little weird to him, but I think he ought to just sort of dive in and go with it.

1:13:16 Caller I mean, did someone you know have this happen to him? Did someone you know get raped? I mean, it could be a very sensitive issue for you that you don't even want to get close to.

1:13:23 Drew Steve, do you have any experience with this?

1:13:26 Caller Not directly, not from myself.

1:13:28 Drew I see. You were never raped?

1:13:29 Caller I was never raped, no.

1:13:30 Drew I see. You don't have a sister or aunt or something like that?

1:13:33 Caller I suppose everyone knows someone who's been raped. I guess I have some direct experience with it.

1:13:38 Caller I mean, certainly just a movie itself could trigger emotions that would make that such a taboo thing that you don't even want to go there.

1:13:45 Drew Even Rape the Musical could trigger that. Did you guys see that?

1:13:50 Caller I saw it live. I didn't see the movie.

1:13:51 Drew Oh, you saw it down Broadway? Ben Farine?

1:13:55 Caller I was the first one.

1:13:57 Drew Drew, did you rape the musical in high school?

1:14:00 Adam No, I think it was Rant we did.

1:14:01 Drew Oh, you did Rant? Interesting. A little twist on the Rape the Musical. Alright, we're going to take ourselves a little break. A Perfect Circle is here. We will hear something off the CD when we come back. Yep, it is, that's Pennywise, right? Yes. There you go.

1:15:02 Caller Nice.

1:15:04 Drew Perfect Circle is the band that's here tonight. Billy and Maynard are both here. We're going to hear something off the new CD. We'll take one call. Talk to Prada, who's 26.

1:15:16 Caller Oh, boy. Yeah, sure.

1:15:17 Caller 26.

1:15:18 Drew Prada.

1:15:19 Caller Hi.

1:15:21 Caller I wanted to talk to you guys about my boyfriend and I, Ed. Anyway, we've been together for the last three years, and he's really into, about four months ago, we decided to try and strap on in our relationship to spice it up. Now, he won't have sex with me any other way. He only likes it up the butt, and he said he's not gay, and I love him so much, and I don't know what to do, and he's in the car with me, and we need to figure out how to work through this.

1:15:50 Caller Ana, did you pick up your sandals in Phoenix or not?

1:15:54 Caller I have a suggestion.

1:15:56 Drew You guys obviously know Prana.

1:16:00 Caller Can we talk to Gucci? Is Gucci on the line?

1:16:01 Drew Is she a stripper you met on the road?

1:16:04 Caller No, she's only the mother of my son.

1:16:07 Drew Oh, my God, I'm going to hell.

1:16:09 Caller Nice touch.

1:16:11 Drew Really? I'm guessing the mother of your son would be your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? Yeah. You guys get along okay?

1:16:19 Caller Yeah, obviously.

1:16:20 Caller Well, listen to that bitter... Give me a hard time on the road.

1:16:23 Drew Yeah, but that's... I mean, what's the situation? You have joint custody and all that stuff?

1:16:29 Caller Yeah.

1:16:29 Drew And you see them weekends or whatever?

1:16:34 Caller Whenever I can.

1:16:36 Drew I'll tell you, I grew up... Well, actually, I'm not a good example of that, but my parents divorced when I was like seven, and I was like Monday, Wednesday, Friday with mom and the rest of the days with dad and...

1:16:47 Caller It becomes confusing?

1:16:48 Drew No, I didn't like either one of them, actually, but... It was... But, you know, it wasn't... I didn't... You know, as hard as it is for Drew to believe, it didn't eff me up that much.

1:17:03 Adam You're so detached from your feeling. How the hell would you know?

1:17:05 Drew That's right, Drew. How dare you? How dare you say that?

1:17:09 Adam Just open up your therapist a little bit.

1:17:11 Drew I'm...

1:17:11 Adam First off... For god's sake, you're talking about on the radio and you won't talk about your goddamn therapist.

1:17:16 Drew All right, here's what I'm gonna talk about after we get over...

1:17:18 Adam How you killed me.

1:17:19 Drew Well, first, we got the big Lakers victory. That's what I start off with tomorrow morning at the therapist's office. I mean, game seven. Well, Drew, if I'm thinking about it, should I be able to talk about it? Drew wants me to go in there and cry and masturbate the entire 50 minutes. I know. Now, you know what? I was saying to somebody, and I think this is a good thing. The older I get, the further away I get from caring about what other guys do on another team. I mean, I would have been crazy for the Lakers 10 years ago, and now it's like, hey, if they win, great. If they don't, great. Don't care. I can only care so much about millionaires who are out. I know I'm starting to sound like my mom now, but they get millions of dollars for putting a ball through a hoop. Remember, there's a point in your life when you would argue and go, oh, you don't understand the game, and now I'm going, maybe she had a point. I'm not getting into it. All right. Let's hear something from Perfect Circle. Drew, pronounce the name of this song so I don't screw it up.

1:18:18 Adam Magdalena?

1:18:19 Drew Magdalena.

1:18:21 Caller Oddly enough, you were speaking about strippers earlier.

1:18:23 Drew That's one of them?

1:18:24 Caller Well, it's about them.

1:22:28 Drew Oh, wow, that was a hard out. Thanks Anderson. You did a good job with that. Anderson had the 10 and the 9, and then the pinky point right at the end. That's a perfect circle off of Mer de Noms. Did I do that right? I get that one right? All right. The- I see. Mer de Noms. Mer de Noms. Mer de Noms.

1:22:54 Adam And the way you spelled Mer is interesting. It's Mother, the way you got it spelled. It's supposed to see.

1:22:58 Drew Mer de Noms. Right?

1:23:01 Caller If you say it Mer de Noms, it means poopy names.

1:23:04 Drew Oh, really? Oh, am I saying the S word? We don't have any French listeners. All right. Ready to move on here, Drew?

1:23:12 Adam Yep. Little frog gamer there.

1:23:15 Drew Catherine?

1:23:16 A Perfect Circle Yes.

1:23:17 Drew You're 20.

1:23:17 A Perfect Circle Yes.

1:23:18 Drew What's up?

1:23:18 A Perfect Circle Well, I went to my yearly gyno appointment and I found out that I have two uteruses and two cervixes.

1:23:28 Adam And you never do that before?

1:23:29 A Perfect Circle No.

1:23:30 Adam Wow.

1:23:30 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

1:23:30 Adam What were they doing before? Just missing it?

1:23:32 A Perfect Circle You know, yeah, they did. They said it was really hard to find, I guess. But I would think, you know, that they would kind of find it the first time, but I guess not.

1:23:43 Adam Interesting. Did you have an ultrasound?

1:23:45 A Perfect Circle Yeah, I did. And I had a MRI. And it was kind of interesting when I got to see them.

1:23:51 Adam Is one of them sort of underdeveloped?

1:23:52 A Perfect Circle You know, no. They said that they are both pretty much fully developed. Wow.

1:23:58 Drew Do they charge you more?

1:24:00 A Perfect Circle No.

1:24:00 Drew No. That's nice. They're passing along, yeah.

1:24:03 A Perfect Circle Yeah, but, you know, and they also said that I might have two vaginal canals, but they can't tell.

1:24:08 Drew Yeah.

1:24:09 A Perfect Circle It's kind of different.

1:24:10 Drew They don't have a flashlight?

1:24:11 A Perfect Circle I don't know.

1:24:12 Drew How can they not figure that one out? I could figure that one out.

1:24:15 A Perfect Circle I don't know.

1:24:16 Drew Hold on. Couldn't they figure that one out?

1:24:20 Adam I think what they're telling is that you might have two...

1:24:22 Caller You need tickets to the show.

1:24:23 Drew Yeah.

1:24:24 Adam That you might have two sort of passageways in there and they couldn't really delineate one from the other.

1:24:29 A Perfect Circle Yeah, probably.

1:24:30 Adam That they sort of collapse together. I could see where that could be hard to see.

1:24:33 A Perfect Circle Yeah. Well, my question is... Yeah.

1:24:36 Adam Not that it would be too... There would be a septum going all the way to the perineum. You know what I'm saying, Adam? That maybe inside there, this too, it forks out.

1:24:43 A Perfect Circle Septum perineum. Yeah.

1:24:44 Drew I thought the girls have a septum and a perineum?

1:24:48 A Perfect Circle Really?

1:24:48 Adam No, you mean...

1:24:49 Drew You're talking about...

1:24:51 Caller Bust out the clay.

1:24:52 Drew Yeah. They were drawing something. Go ahead.

1:24:55 Adam In other words, it's the uterus over here. There's one over here.

1:25:00 Drew Yeah.

1:25:00 Adam And the cervix is here and here.

1:25:02 Drew Yeah.

1:25:02 Adam Maybe there's a fork in the road here somewhere. See? And it doesn't go all the way to here.

1:25:07 Drew Yeah.

1:25:07 Adam That's not there.

1:25:08 Caller You should see this drawing. It's great.

1:25:10 Adam It's here.

1:25:10 Drew Where's the coups?

1:25:11 Caller Hey, it looks like a Rorschach.

1:25:13 Drew Right in the beginning there? Okay. All right.

1:25:16 Caller Plenty of natural light.

1:25:17 Drew Yeah.

1:25:20 A Perfect Circle Yes.

1:25:21 Drew So how does that make you feel?

1:25:23 A Perfect Circle Well, I was actually kind of shocked. You know, it was kind of unexpected.

1:25:28 Caller I thought it was pretty normal.

1:25:30 Adam Anything they want to do about this?

1:25:31 A Perfect Circle You know, well, I had a couple of questions. I kind of was in shock when I found out, so I didn't get to ask all the questions I needed to. Okay. And so I wanted to know. They said that they were thinking when I wanted to get pregnant, they'd put an IUD in one side. And I wanted to know if, you know, if they did that, would I still be able to minister on that side?

1:25:59 Drew That's right.

1:26:00 Adam Interesting question. Yeah, you might even believe heavier.

1:26:02 Drew So they want to put an IUD on one side so that the egg and the sperm don't connect on that one side. And then let the sperm go the other route?

1:26:12 Adam Because you don't want to try to have dual uterus as pregnant. That would not be good.

1:26:18 Drew Right, although what's the big difference between that and twins? To me, it's like they both got their own pad, you know?

1:26:26 Caller I think you should rent this space out.

1:26:28 Drew Yeah, why don't you do that?

1:26:30 A Perfect Circle Oh yeah, make a little money, huh?

1:26:33 Adam Okay, so that's a great idea. All right, what else?

1:26:35 Drew Well, yeah, not for another infant, but like, you know, guys keep their snow tires and stuff there during the summer.

1:26:42 Adam It will add some slight risk to getting tubal and uterine infections on that side.

1:26:47 A Perfect Circle Right.

1:26:47 Adam But, okay, what else?

1:26:48 A Perfect Circle Okay, and then I wanted to know if it was possible to get pregnant on both sides.

1:26:53 Adam Simultaneously?

1:26:54 A Perfect Circle Okay, and also-

1:26:55 Adam Yeah, I would say yes.

1:26:56 A Perfect Circle Okay.

1:26:57 Adam But judging just by the recommendations they're giving you, putting the IUD in.

1:27:01 Drew Right. It only could be done by a black blues singer, though. No mortal man could do that. I have to be a guy who had like 25 kids.

1:27:10 A Perfect Circle Okay.

1:27:11 Drew Yeah, I couldn't pull that off.

1:27:12 A Perfect Circle Oh, good.

1:27:13 Drew I could get half of you pregnant. I couldn't do both sides.

1:27:16 Caller What you need to do is you need to find a partner that has two penises.

1:27:20 Drew Could you do that?

1:27:21 Adam A forked penis.

1:27:22 Drew Or a really good body.

1:27:23 Caller Fork penis.

1:27:24 A Perfect Circle A forked penis.

1:27:25 Adam So what's two-headed? So what's the other?

1:27:28 Caller There's a website for that.

1:27:29 Adam I have the choice.

1:27:30 A Perfect Circle Also, I wanted to know if I could get pregnant, you know, if I could have twins, would it be?

1:27:38 Caller Well, probably wouldn't be twins.

1:27:39 A Perfect Circle You don't think it would?

1:27:40 Adam Well, it would be twins if both sides got pregnant, but they wouldn't be from the same egg and sperm.

1:27:45 A Perfect Circle So they'd be paternal.

1:27:47 Adam But it sounds like they have concerns about structurally supporting that.

1:27:51 A Perfect Circle Exactly.

1:27:51 Drew Hey, Catherine?

1:27:52 A Perfect Circle Yes?

1:27:52 Drew Here's my advice. Do not get high. Your head will explode.

1:27:56 A Perfect Circle I'm past that.

1:27:58 Adam Not just I don't do mushrooms.

1:27:59 Drew Yeah. You get high on mushrooms and think about your two uteruses and you will go insane. Do you know what I'm saying? This is, by the way, why I can't do mushrooms anymore.

1:28:10 Adam Because you'll start thinking about Catherine's uteri?

1:28:11 Drew No. I'll think about my own uteri. No. You know why? Seriously, this sounds weird, but when I was like 23 and I was working construction, I could do mushrooms, because I didn't have that much to think about. If I got really high on mushrooms now and started thinking about having two TV shows and a radio show, I would go insane. I would just start running around like I would freak out. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, I do.

1:28:41 Caller Having two bands?

1:28:42 Drew Yeah. You got two bands and you're high on mushrooms.

1:28:46 Caller Right now.

1:28:47 Drew Going out with nine-inch nails in front of 18,000 people. You know what I'm saying? Drew, you didn't do enough mushrooms when you were younger, but you would freak out.

1:28:55 Adam No, I guess I just didn't do enough.

1:28:57 Drew Yeah. Well, there's still time. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. A Perfect Circle is our guest tonight. We'll be back after this. We'll be right back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Slick Merkin, that's my partner over there, Dr. Drew. Billy and Maynard are both here from A Perfect Circle. And we are gonna hop back on the phones and speak to Lauren. Lauren, you're 16.

1:29:59 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:30:01 Caller My mom has been sober for about a year and two months. I've been noticing that she's acting kind of a little groggy lately, and I found out she's on this medication called Xanatal. I'm not sure that's the correct pronunciation.

1:30:15 Adam That's to lose weight. That's not gonna make her groggy.

1:30:19 Caller Are you sure?

1:30:19 Drew That's gonna hype her up.

1:30:21 Adam No, no, no, no. It's not even absorbed. It just prevents fat from being absorbed into your system.

1:30:25 Caller So, I mean, she said they kind of make her feel weird.

1:30:28 Adam They might make her feel a little weird, but they don't make her feel groggy.

1:30:30 Caller Okay, so there is a chance you might be drinking again? I mean, because it...

1:30:33 Adam Or something.

1:30:34 Caller Okay.

1:30:35 Drew Well, you would know, wouldn't you? I mean, you lived with her all those years.

1:30:38 Caller That's why I'm asking. Her doctor said none of this would do anything, you know, it wouldn't make her groggy or anything like that, because I had asked her.

1:30:43 Adam I agree with the doctor. Is there anything else she's taking?

1:30:46 Caller No, she's usually pretty strict about stuff like that. She usually doesn't take anything.

1:30:50 Adam Is that a Cal only?

1:30:52 Caller That's it?

1:30:53 Caller Yeah.

1:30:54 Drew All right. Why don't you ask her? Is she...

1:30:57 Caller I did. That's what I'm saying. The doctor had said...

1:30:59 Drew No, why don't you ask the mom? Ask her if she's drinking.

1:31:02 Caller I did.

1:31:03 Caller She got really offensive.

1:31:04 Caller She has always been like that.

1:31:06 Adam You're going to Allateen?

1:31:07 Caller Even when she was sober, huh?

1:31:08 Adam You're going to Allateen?

1:31:10 Caller What?

1:31:10 Adam Are you going to Allateen?

1:31:12 A Perfect Circle What's that?

1:31:12 Adam Allateen?

1:31:13 Drew Well, just answer the question, then we'll tell you what it is.

1:31:16 Adam It's a codependent to recovery program for people your age, other kids.

1:31:20 A Perfect Circle Oh, no.

1:31:20 Caller I mean, she... Hey, Lauren, it's for you.

1:31:23 Adam Allateen? No.

1:31:25 Caller Uh-uh.

1:31:25 Adam Okay, you need to go.

1:31:26 Caller Why?

1:31:27 Adam You're growing up with an addicted mom. It's important that you deal with yourself. It will have impact on you if you don't take some steps.

1:31:33 Caller I think you're kind of judging me from your previous callers.

1:31:36 Adam No, Lauren.

1:31:37 Caller It's not like...

1:31:37 Adam Lauren, I work in addiction recovery. We always make sure that the teen children of alcoholic parents get into Allateen. It's a crucial part of your health. Okay?

1:31:47 Caller All right.

1:31:48 Adam Okay, then they will help you deal with her relapse if indeed that's what she's into right now.

1:31:54 Caller Okay.

1:31:54 Caller Just arming yourself is important. Allateen is important.

1:31:57 Adam All you... the most important thing you can do in a situation like this is take care of yourself.

1:32:01 Drew Well, Lauren went from I think my mom's back on the juice to huh? What are you talking about? How dare you? What do you mean? No, you don't understand. Yeah. Did you notice that shift? She started off with my mom's been an alcoholic. She just got off a year and a half ago. She's been an alcoholic my whole life. I think she's back on the booze. She went from that to what are you talking about?

1:32:21 Adam Well, she felt like she went to it's not about me. Yeah, exactly. It's about my addict mom. You see, that's what Codes do.

1:32:28 Drew It is an amazing too how she was 16. She sound like she was 25.

1:32:32 Caller I was going to say something about that.

1:32:34 Drew Which is, there are 16-year-olds who grew up normal family and they're 16, and then their 16-year-olds have grown up around an alcoholic mom for 15 years, and they sound like they got some miles on them. Like Lauren had to start being an adult at nine.

1:32:52 Caller She had to pick up the slack early.

1:32:54 Drew Yeah, you kind of get the feeling she was making her own lunches and sign in the report card at 11 and 12 years old. I mean, it's like she became, it's like, you know, some other culture where, you know, at 14 they're married and they have a couple of kids, they've become, you know, it's like she became an adult woman by 12. Natalie?

1:33:15 Caller Yeah.

1:33:15 Drew You're 20. What's up?

1:33:17 Caller Actually, I'm just wondering about the morning after pill.

1:33:21 Adam Uh-huh.

1:33:21 Caller How effective it is?

1:33:23 Adam Very. Well, it depends when you take it. It's about 77.5% if it's in the first three days.

1:33:28 Caller Okay.

1:33:29 Adam What, how long after the intercourse?

1:33:31 Caller Well, I had an intercourse last night and what happened was like the condom came off.

1:33:35 Adam It's about 90% effective if you take, well, 85% effective if you take in the first 24 hours.

1:33:40 Caller Yeah. I actually just take it at like seven today.

1:33:43 Adam Perfect. Perfect.

1:33:44 Caller Oh, okay. I take one again tomorrow. I take four again tomorrow and it's effective.

1:33:49 Adam Yep. Very effective.

1:33:50 Caller So will I have like bleeding or?

1:33:52 Adam Not necessarily.

1:33:54 Caller Really?

1:33:54 Drew The condom came off in you?

1:33:56 Caller Yeah.

1:33:56 Drew How'd you get it out?

1:33:58 Caller Pulled it out.

1:33:59 Drew I just dove in there? All right. Where was the guy? Was he standing around offering encouragement?

1:34:05 Caller Yeah.

1:34:06 Drew He was? Cheering. Yeah. That's a little weird. I've never been there for that. You couldn't just go out or something? Same different hole?

1:34:15 Caller It's that easy.

1:34:16 Drew You got to go up there and get it? They don't make a tool for that?

1:34:19 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:34:20 Drew Oh, they do?

1:34:21 Adam You don't have it in your home.

1:34:22 Drew Oh, you don't? I'm going to pick one of those up. Who makes it? Snap-on or Rigid? Who makes it?

1:34:27 Adam Makita.

1:34:28 Drew Makita? Solid. Good. They make a battery-operated one, actually.

1:34:32 Adam Yeah, Natalie.

1:34:32 Caller So, okay, I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails tomorrow.

1:34:38 Adam Yeah?

1:34:39 Caller And can I drink or do drugs or, I mean, will that affect it in any way?

1:34:44 Adam Shouldn't. You're going to feel kind of nauseated, though, so just beware. Oh, really?

1:34:49 Drew Just stick with the weed and the acid. Easy on the booze, all right?

1:34:53 Caller What about E?

1:34:54 Caller Unacceptable.

1:34:54 Adam Oh, please. Natalie, please.

1:34:56 Drew You're going to see a perfect circle tomorrow night, too, you know.

1:34:59 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:35:00 Caller Get there earlier. You'll miss it.

1:35:01 Caller That's actually who I'm going to see.

1:35:02 Caller Don't blink.

1:35:03 Drew All right. Well, why do you say you're going to go see Nine Inch Nails tomorrow night when we have a perfect circle sitting right here?

1:35:08 Caller Maynard, I love you.

1:35:11 Drew You can prove your love by not vomiting tomorrow.

1:35:13 Adam I'm not doing E, please.

1:35:15 Caller Please don't do E.

1:35:16 Drew Okay. All right. Okay.

1:35:18 Caller Show up early.

1:35:18 A Perfect Circle Thanks.

1:35:19 Drew Bye. All right. Sonia.

1:35:23 A Perfect Circle Yes.

1:35:23 Drew You're 16. What's up?

1:35:25 A Perfect Circle Yeah. I have sex with the guy last night and earlier today. He was like really big and now after the end of course, I've been having pain.

1:35:36 Drew Yeah. How old is he?

1:35:38 A Perfect Circle He's 19.

1:35:40 Drew 16. Is he your boyfriend?

1:35:45 A Perfect Circle No.

1:35:46 Drew No. What's up?

1:35:47 A Perfect Circle No. We're just messing around talking right now.

1:35:49 Drew I see. Just having sex and talking?

1:35:51 A Perfect Circle Yeah.

1:35:52 Drew All right. I don't trust him that much. He's a little bit old for you.

1:35:56 Adam Did you use a condom? No. So it could be infection, could be a lot of things.

1:36:01 Drew What are you looking to do? Did he pull out?

1:36:04 Adam No.

1:36:05 Drew No. Hey, Sonya, what's your plan, honey? You want to get pregnant?

1:36:10 A Perfect Circle No. Not really.

1:36:12 Drew Well, what are you thinking?

1:36:13 A Perfect Circle I don't know.

1:36:14 Drew Well?

1:36:14 A Perfect Circle Because I've had sex with other guys before.

1:36:17 Drew Oh, okay.

1:36:18 A Perfect Circle I've never been in pain like this.

1:36:21 Drew I know. But I'm worried about you getting pregnant. You understand, Sonya? Hey, Sonya?

1:36:26 A Perfect Circle Yeah?

1:36:26 Drew Listen to me. I literally have about 20 seconds with you. You're going to get pregnant. You're going to get pregnant young. You have a 25 percent higher chance of getting pregnant just because your name is Sonya. I'm telling you. And you will get pregnant if you're just having sex with guys-

1:36:41 Adam Absolutely.

1:36:42 Drew Unprotected and not thinking a thing of it. You're 16 now. By the time you're 17 and a half-

1:36:48 Adam Be pregnant.

1:36:48 Drew You will definitely be pregnant. Regardless of the size. Please don't do that.

1:36:52 Adam And she's having pain she needs to be examined so you gotta get proper care too.

1:36:56 Drew That is right. We'll take a break.

1:37:02 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline. I don't get that, though.

1:37:35 Drew All right, that is it. I want to thank Billy and Maynard for coming in here from A Perfect Circle and tell you guys to go out and catch them tomorrow night at the pond. Even in fact, there's still tickets available. I don't even know. But if not, you got to go up to Frisco, Portland, Spokane, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, or Denver. And Maynard says you probably can't get some tickets, but you're going to have to start real early tomorrow for the pond.

1:37:58 Caller We're going dead on an eight.

1:38:00 Drew And get there early for a Perfect Circle. All right. Thank you very much, guys.

1:38:04 Caller Thank you for having us.

1:38:05 Drew Good luck to you. Amy Manning here tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Crowell for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I just got done whacking off to my mom. Well, now.

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Monday, June 5, 2000