Episode 1000754887451

7:02 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

7:05 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

7:09 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

7:11 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

7:13 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

7:15 Voiceover Loveline.

7:17 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, facts number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, we have a very gifted couple, Aimee Mann and Chris Penn. Actually, Michael Penn. I was just talking about Chris Penn. He is on the show. Michael, lean forward, please. You got to get up on that microphone or it's never going to work. Michael was on the show. I'm going to go with.

7:51 Guest Three years ago.

7:52 Adam No, not that long ago. Not three years. Three years? You're just agreeing with Drew because that's the tone.

7:59 No, he got the info from me earlier.

8:01 Adam Really?

8:02 Drew It was really three years?

8:03 Adam Wow.

8:05 Drew It's horrifying.

8:05 Adam It must have been very late 97. Yeah, it was. Aimee Mann has never been on the show as far as I know. No. But I've been a fan of yours over the years. I know I don't look like one.

8:18 Guest Or act like one.

8:19 Adam Or act like one. But in both of your work.

8:23 Drew There's still time.

8:24 Adam Don't worry. There's going to be a lot of kissing up going on in the next couple hours. Aimee is going to be on The Tonight Show tomorrow night, correct? Yes. We're going to hear something off of her CD. Basically, this is Aimee's time in the sun. Although Michael, because he's been on the show, because they're married, decided to come in as well, and they're going to be touring together. I'll give you some of those tour dates. This has been going on for a while, right? How long have you guys been married?

8:55 Drew Two and a half years.

8:57 Adam And you've been touring together for some time?

8:59 Drew When did we start, sort of, in November or December or something?

9:03 Well, we started to do these shows at Largo here in LA. And this is just kind of that on the road.

9:08 Drew We've been doing that for a couple of years.

9:10 Adam And is it good? Does it drive you nuts?

9:12 No, it's great.

9:13 Drew It's good.

9:13 Adam Yeah?

9:14 Drew Yeah, it's very good.

9:15 Adam And do you do a separate set and then come together, or do you just play together the entire time?

9:20 Just switch off songs.

9:21 Drew Yeah, we switch off kind of chunks of songs. And we also have a comedian that comes out with this.

9:27 Adam Oh, really?

9:28 Drew Yeah.

9:29 Adam Oh, man, that's a bad gig.

9:31 Drew It's really good.

9:32 Adam Really?

9:33 Drew Trust me, it doesn't sound that good. When we were playing at Largo, because Largo is very small and it's extremely loose. And Michael and I were talking one night about playing live in general. And although we really like to play live, we always feel sort of uncomfortable talking between songs, we never really know what to say. So we got the idea to have one of our comedian friends do our banter for us. So have a comedian just come out and just be us.

9:57 Adam So instead of coming out doing 15 minutes and warming up the crowd.

10:01 Drew Well, he does that.

10:02 Adam And he's actually out there.

10:04 Drew Yeah. We call him back on through the entire set.

10:08 Adam Couldn't you hand him a tambourine like Tracy from the Partridge family, let him just sort of hang out there during the song? I mean, instead of coming back and forth? And is it between every song or is this between every couple?

10:21 Drew Every two or three. It depends. I mean, there's different things that we do.

10:25 Adam And so you guys will do your songs separately, but play with each other. And then you'll do songs that you've done together or that you've composed or written together.

10:37 We haven't done that. We've never written together.

10:39 Drew We don't have any of those.

10:40 Adam What's up with that?

10:41 Not compatible. We're both too dictatorial.

10:45 Adam It doesn't work?

10:46 Drew Yeah, we have exactly the same strengths and exactly the same weaknesses.

10:50 Adam Right. Same with me and Drew. Right, honey?

10:52 Guest Exactly.

10:53 Adam That's right. And going out, is this the first road trip, though? I mean, I know you've played together at Largo, but together.

11:01 We've been doing the tour in two-week blocks for a while since I don't know when.

11:06 Drew I think it was November, last November, December. So we'll probably do it for the rest of the year and then.

11:12 Adam Well, they're going to be in Berkeley. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're going all over the place.

11:17 Drew Yeah, in Boston on Sunday.

11:20 Adam Right. New York, Atlanta, Virginia. Oh, man. You guys, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and back to California. Oh, McCabe's. That's a great place. Saw John Hite there in a Coupic show many years ago. Drew, you're not cool enough to know about that.

11:37 Guest We're all very interested in your...

11:38 Adam That's right.

11:39 Guest Move on, shall we?

11:40 Adam All right. We'll take some calls and we'll hear something from Aimee's record before too long. Jennifer?

11:47 Yes.

11:48 Adam You're 19. What's up?

11:49 Caller Yes. I called about a week ago by my friend who said he had two penises.

11:55 Adam He has two penises?

11:57 Caller Yeah.

11:58 Adam Could you...

11:58 Caller And I was one...

11:59 Adam Hold on, Jennifer?

12:00 Caller Yes?

12:01 Adam Could you please turn down what's on in the background?

12:04 Caller Oh, sorry.

12:05 Adam Okay.

12:06 Caller Yes. Let's go ahead.

12:07 Adam Wow. What did you do? Just shoot the TV like Elvis? How did you do that?

12:11 Caller The mute.

12:12 Adam Good. All right. So you have a friend who has two penises.

12:15 Caller Yes. I was wondering what is that called?

12:18 Adam It's called Bipenality.

12:20 Guest He showed it to you?

12:21 Caller Yeah, because you told me that it was impossible, and I told him that it was impossible, and he showed me.

12:29 Adam What did it look like?

12:30 Caller One was like they were right above each other.

12:35 Guest He had like two heads.

12:36 Caller Yeah.

12:37 Guest That's not two penises.

12:39 Adam It isn't?

12:39 Guest No, there's probably some version of Phimosis.

12:43 Adam Sure, I was thinking Phimosis.

12:45 Guest The urethra doesn't come all the way to the tip sometimes. It comes out below.

12:49 Adam Which one works?

12:51 Caller He said they both worked because they were two of them.

12:55 Adam I see it because there's two of them.

12:56 Caller Yeah.

12:57 Adam Jennifer's like a hillbilly. And were they long?

13:03 Caller They were the same size.

13:05 Adam Were they both short?

13:08 Caller Average.

13:09 Adam Yeah. They're both average and they're right on top of each other.

13:13 Caller You know, like one above the other.

13:15 Adam Oh, see, I was confused. I thought they were on top of each other. So one right above the next and average length.

13:23 Caller Yeah, just about.

13:25 Guest I think she's actually.

13:26 Adam And could they, do you think he could achieve an erection in both of them?

13:31 Caller Well, I'm sure he can.

13:33 Guest I think she's describing something along like this.

13:35 Adam Well, I have no idea. True just said true.

13:38 Guest You know, if there's something else sort of like that.

13:40 Adam I have no idea what that is that you're drawing there, Drew. I still don't know what it is. I still don't know what it is.

13:46 Drew He's drawing sort of like a two-headed penis.

13:48 Adam Oh, you're drawing a penis with a split down the middle of it?

13:52 Guest Two full penises.

13:53 Adam You sure we're not talking about a two-headed penis as opposed to two separate individual penises, Jennifer?

13:59 Caller It looks like two separate ones.

14:03 Adam I see. All right. Well, now, how does this affect you and your life?

14:07 Caller No, we're just friends and I thought it wasn't possible.

14:10 Adam Okay. All right. Well, you live and you learn.

14:13 Drew Is it possible that it's one of the... Like, I've heard about people splitting their...

14:18 Guest That's the other thing. People split the penis.

14:20 Drew Yeah.

14:20 Guest And you heard of this, Adam?

14:22 Adam Yes.

14:22 Guest Yeah. And that usually looks so deformed, though, that people...

14:25 Drew It doesn't look like two penis.

14:26 Guest Doesn't look so much. Maybe this guy managed to do that.

14:29 Drew Maybe it's some kind of gag. Maybe it's he went to the gag store and...

14:34 Guest This happens.

14:35 Adam Yeah. He got to have swung by the novelty penis shop and picked one up. But no, they do have all sorts of bizarre prosthetics these days. If you're a student of pornography like me, you'll note that they go through the movies once in a while. All right, Jennifer. Well, good luck with that. Isaac?

14:51 Hey.

14:51 Adam Oh, man. You're 14. What's up?

14:55 Caller Me and my girlfriend were talking the other day, and she started bragging about how she could orgasm at 12 years of age, and I want to know if that was possible.

15:04 Guest It's possible. It's unusual, but it's possible.

15:06 Caller Are you sure?

15:07 Guest Yeah, I'm sure.

15:08 Caller Okay. Well, because I figured that was kind of young.

15:10 Guest It is young, and most women don't connect that whole mechanism until quite a bit later, but some can.

15:16 Caller Okay.

15:16 Drew Okay.

15:17 Adam All right.

15:18 Drew Thank you.

15:19 Adam Lots of friends. She was easy. Chris?

15:23 Caller Hello?

15:23 Adam You're 16. What's up?

15:25 Caller Hi.

15:26 Caller On Sunday, me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time, but we used a condom and it was protected and all.

15:32 Adam Right.

15:33 Caller But she's still sort of freaking out that she could get pregnant, and so I was calling to find out what the chances were that she could get pregnant.

15:42 Guest The condom worked. Didn't fail.

15:44 Caller It didn't fail. It wasn't like kept. I didn't keep it in my wallet or anything, so it didn't get hot or anything.

15:51 Guest Chris, if there's any question at all, she can always take the morning after pill, right?

15:54 Caller Yeah.

15:55 Guest Emergency contraception. Simple enough. Doesn't hurt anything. It's very safe. If there's any question at all, I think people ought to be at a very low threshold to go ahead and take in that medication.

16:05 Caller Where would you get that from?

16:07 Guest You can get it from Planned Parenthood. You can get it from any physician, emergency room. If you're in the state of Washington, you can get it without a prescription.

16:12 Caller Oh, well, I'm in California.

16:14 Guest All right.

16:17 Caller But do you know the possibility?

16:21 Adam The condom didn't fail, right?

16:23 Caller Yeah.

16:23 Adam Used it properly?

16:24 Caller Yeah.

16:24 Adam 9.27.

16:26 Guest Very unlikely.

16:27 Caller Oh, okay.

16:28 Adam Thank you.

16:28 Guest All right. Very unlikely.

16:30 Caller Okay.

16:30 Adam Hey, when you go into Planned Parenthood to get that morning after bill, can you walk in and get it that day and walk out?

16:37 Guest I would think each one is run independently, but I would think most of them would be set up that way. Yeah. You have to be. I mean, sometimes they become in at the 72nd hour.

16:45 Adam Right.

16:45 Guest So they got to give it to them.

16:47 Drew Is that one pill or is that a series of birth control pills?

16:50 Guest It's pretty much you take two within 72 hours, you take a second set 12 hours later. It works very, very well. Does not cause an abortion. There's great confusion about how this damn pill works. It works by suppressing ovulation, period.

17:02 Adam Lee, you're 23.

17:04 Caller Yeah. A bunch of my friends have been doing a bunch of X here lately and keep on doing it, it's not going to hit you as hard. Somebody gave him the wise idea that you could stick this in your anus and get a better ride off the pill. Yeah. I told him that, hey, it shouldn't go there. It's not going to be good for him, but you know.

17:31 Adam Well, hold on. First, I think there was a misunderstanding. That's when you're trying to bring it in from Mexico. That's not when you're actually ingesting it. That's keystring ingesting it. You either get it into prison or out of Mexico.

17:41 Drew How desperate to be high.

17:43 Adam Oh, we talk to people who take three and four in a night, probably. Tequila shots rectally.

17:50 Guest Yeah, yeah.

17:50 Drew Jesus.

17:51 Adam Yeah, it's a two man operation, but it's worth it.

17:54 Guest Here's the amazing thing about this kind of behavior, is that although the route of administration is disturbing and bizarre, it's not ever in any way going to hurt this person as much as what the exercise actually does to their brain, period, no matter how you take it.

18:08 Caller Like physically, I mean, it's not going to cause any ulcerations or anything like that.

18:13 Guest Again, even if it caused an erosion in bleeding, it would not be nearly as dangerous as what the drug itself does to that person's brain.

18:19 Caller Now would it, now would the, since obviously it's going to hit the bloodstream a lot better because it's not going through the digestive juices and the stomach and everything. Is that going to cause more damage, though?

18:31 Guest Well, I don't know this for a fact. In fact, I don't even know that it's absorbed more quickly, to tell you the truth. You may have to prepare it in a certain way to make sure it gets absorbed quickly. In general, drugs' effect on the brain are dependent on not just dose, but the speed with which the dose, the concentrations come up in the blood and in the brain. So you're right, it may be more intense.

18:52 Adam All right, but alcohol would hit you harder from the backside, right?

18:55 Guest Yeah.

18:56 Adam It would. Yeah. And would you tend to, would you not vomit? Then would you still vomit?

19:03 Guest Not the same way. You would get still-

19:05 Adam You mean vomit out of your ass?

19:06 Guest Wouldn't be just- What would you do? This is a great discussion.

19:10 Adam Well, I'm interested.

19:11 Guest Do we turn the date-line cameras and- This is the one. Discuss your interest in it. Some of the nausea and vomit is from irritation lining the stomach. You're not going to get that so much, right? Because you're not pouring alcohol directly into the stomach.

19:24 Adam But the part about you spinning when you're going to sleep.

19:26 Guest The central nervous system effects can make your vestibular apparatus not work. You can vomit from that.

19:31 Adam Okay. So rectally, you should take booze, but not the E. What about coke rectally?

19:39 Guest Yeah, take it all rectally. What the hell?

19:41 Adam Coke rectally?

19:42 Guest You can use my name.

19:43 Adam Call it. What's up with the rectum that it's such a beeline to the brain?

19:47 Guest It's an absorptive area.

19:49 Adam I know, but all that duke's passing through there. Is that a good design?

19:54 Guest It absorbs water mostly. And if a chemical is sitting there, it can be, it can be, not necessarily absorbed, that's why I don't know for sure about the ecstasy.

20:01 Adam Yeah, because if it's a hard pill form, why would it be?

20:04 Guest I don't think it necessarily is.

20:06 Adam It would seem to make sense for water, or for liquid-based stuff.

20:09 Guest Alcohol-based stuff. We're gonna go through.

20:11 Adam Okay. Noted. Melissa, for my next camping trip. Noted. You're 22.

20:19 Caller What's up? I think I'm addicted to porn, and I don't know if this is unhealthy or not. It's kind of reached the ridiculous stage. Like any free minute that I get at home, I just throw the porn in.

20:35 Adam What kind of porn is your preference?

20:37 Caller It pretty much doesn't matter. I mean, with the exception of the really sick stuff, I tend to stay away from that, but anything really does it.

20:47 Adam Do you masturbate every time you watch porn?

20:49 Caller Well, of course.

20:50 Adam That's a stupid question. I don't know, but for some reason, I could picture women watching porn and not masturbating.

20:56 Caller Well, what would be the point?

20:58 Adam I don't know, but women are very complicated that way. I've not gotten to the bottom of them yet. Soon.

21:04 Drew Women are complicated only in the way that you don't understand them at all.

21:08 Adam Yeah, that's right. Oh, at all. How dare you? I hope we caught that comment on film. At all.

21:16 Caller I just don't know if that's unhealthy, because my husband and I fight over Playboy when it comes. He takes it to work with him and we fight over it, because I get mad because he's taken it before I've gotten to see it.

21:26 Adam Mia, do you like watching? Well, Sue, you like the women?

21:29 Caller Well, it doesn't matter. It's just porn in general.

21:31 Guest Yeah. Have you been depressed?

21:35 Caller Actually, I'm kind of going through that right now.

21:37 Guest Yeah. And you're a parent and alcoholic? It runs in your family?

21:41 Caller It's creepy. It runs in both sides of my family.

21:43 Guest Oh, yeah. Because this is sort of an addict behavior in response to negative feeling states. This is what addicts do to get away, to manage feelings. You have inherited a very unique brain. It has special powers, special mechanisms. But part of that is responding.

22:01 Adam This is not...

22:02 Guest I'm trying to put a positive spin on it.

22:03 Adam Not Elizabeth Montgomery here. This is an alcoholic porn addict.

22:07 Drew Please.

22:08 Adam Special powers, special powers. Yes, you're put on this earth to do something special. Drink and masturbate. You'll have a gift.

22:16 Guest And I suspect you've been addicted to something at some point, like stimulant speed or cocaine or something.

22:22 Caller No, actually, I came very close to becoming an alcoholic, but I have to catch it all.

22:26 Guest Because usually it's people that have already sort of geared up that reward system in the brain that they have inherited with chemical agents that then allows for this sort of alternative in behavior, like sexual compulsion, to do the same thing. Sexual addiction doesn't usually occur, in my experience, unless something has first charged the system up pharmacologically.

22:47 Caller Well, I smoked. Does that count?

22:49 Guest No, it's the alcohol that did it. And so, yeah, you are kind of...

22:51 Adam Well, what do you smoke?

22:53 Caller Cigarettes.

22:54 Guest But you're not in recovery, right?

22:55 Caller No.

22:56 Guest Yeah, so your addiction is still real active. You might really think about this as a sign that you need to do something about your addictive chemistry.

23:03 Caller Huh.

23:03 Guest Okay.

23:04 Adam All right. And what about your husband?

23:06 Caller What about him?

23:06 Guest He's an alcoholic, too.

23:07 Adam He's an alcoholic?

23:09 Caller He's not. Actually, he doesn't drink.

23:11 Guest Would he be if he drank, you think?

23:12 Caller No. No, he's not a heavy drinker at all.

23:15 Adam No. All right. I know he has a good job because he's allowed to bring pornography to work. Actually, he works in a factory. Works in a factory?

23:24 Caller Yeah.

23:25 Adam What do they manufacture?

23:26 Caller He works around a lot of metal.

23:27 Adam Uh-oh. That's a bad sign. I have theories about men who work around metal. What do they manufacture?

23:34 Caller Car parts.

23:35 Adam Fantastic. All right. Well, thank you. Yeah. Work on that addiction.

23:41 Caller Thanks.

23:41 Adam Then when you cure yourself, send me all the surplus porn.

23:44 Caller Okay.

23:45 Adam All right.

23:45 Good time. Nothing beats a good porn movie.

23:49 Adam Gary?

23:49 Caller Hi.

23:50 Adam Hey, you're 21.

23:51 Caller Yes, I am. I was just calling to say that Aimee Mann and Michael Penn, you guys rock. You're so awesome.

23:56 Drew Thank you.

23:57 Caller I love your music. It's great. I've been listening to Michael Penn since I was like in eighth grade and I'm 21 now. I was just curious about how you guys met.

24:08 Drew We actually met about 10 years ago. I met Michael at a show of his through mutual friend. Then I came out to Los Angeles to work and hooked up with him again. He had just gotten a divorce and we became friends. Then that turned into a relationship after.

24:27 Caller I'm so glad you guys are together.

24:29 Drew Thank you very much.

24:30 Caller Thanks very much.

24:31 Adam Thanks, Gary.

24:32 Caller Okay. Have a good night.

24:33 Adam We're going to hear something off Aimee Mann's CD just because you were so nice. All right.

24:38 Caller Excellent. Thank you so much.

24:39 Adam All right. Do you have it?

24:40 Caller I have the CD. Yeah.

24:42 Adam Okay. Good. All right. Hang on to it. We have that cute up there, Anderson. Yeah. This is off Aimee Mann's new CD. It's called Red Vines. There we go. Aimee Mann, that is Red Vines off of Bachelor No. 2. And it is out, it is in record stores. Michael Penn, her lovely husband, is here with her tonight. So we have a team in here. Dr. Drew is here, and we will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Brian, who's 16, once anal sex, but girlfriend is afraid it will rip her butt. Let's just say hi. Hold on. Brian?

29:05 Yeah.

29:05 Adam Yeah. How old's your girlfriend?

29:07 She's 17.

29:09 Adam I see. You're 16? How long have you guys been together?

29:13 Caller About four months.

29:15 Adam I see. You're ready for the anal sex?

29:17 Caller I am.

29:20 Adam She's not though, right?

29:21 Caller Well, I'm trying to talk her into it, but she's afraid that it might rip, because she said some of her girlfriends tried it, and it hurt them pretty bad, and it ripped down there. I want to know if that's really happened.

29:31 Guest They all want to maintain their virginity, of course.

29:33 Adam I understand.

29:33 Guest That's the reason we're doing this, right?

29:35 Adam All right. Hold on a second there, Brian.

29:37 Guest Okay.

29:37 Adam We'll take a little break and then we'll get back with you, okay?

29:40 Guest Okay.

29:40 Adam All right. After this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Michael Penn and Aimee Mann are both here tonight, both very talented artists and a talented married couple as well. And Duran Duran, I guess, is gonna be in here Sunday night. We haven't seen those guys in quite some time either. Not sure what's up with them, but we'll find out on Sunday night. Brian?

30:43 Caller Yeah.

30:43 Adam All right, so you're 16, girlfriend's 17. You've been going out for four months. And why do you want the anal sex so badly?

30:52 Caller Well, I don't know. I've just seen it in the pornos and it looks really, it just looks fun. Ow!

30:59 Adam I see.

31:00 Caller Yeah.

31:00 Adam Does it look fun or does it look like just something you haven't done and you want to check it off your list?

31:06 Caller Well, it just, you know, it really turns me on, I guess. And I really want to try it.

31:13 Adam Yeah. But your girlfriend doesn't.

31:15 Caller Well, she's just afraid it might rip.

31:18 Adam Yeah. But well, what she's saying is she doesn't want to do it.

31:21 Guest It's going to hurt her.

31:23 Caller It will. Yeah.

31:24 Adam Well, she's scared.

31:25 Guest Probably hurt her.

31:26 Caller Even if we use, you know, a lot of lube.

31:28 Adam Well, here's what I'm trying to-

31:30 Guest Brian's trying to convince us now.

31:31 Adam Brian, let me explain. Sure, if you used a lot of lube on me, that'd be fine, but I'm a grown man and I have insurance. As far as your- I don't know if it covered- Drew, would it cover that? No, you'd sew me back up.

31:44 Guest You made up the usual story. You sat on something.

31:46 Adam Yeah. I sat on that bowling pin. I just take it out and stop asking questions. But Brian, here's what your girlfriend is saying. She's saying, I don't want to do it. Do you understand?

31:56 Caller Yeah.

31:57 Adam You're trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do, and that's not a good idea because it will haunt you.

32:04 Caller Yeah.

32:04 Adam You may be able to get her to do it, but then she'll resent you and she will pay you back. If I know women in a slow and painful manner.

32:11 Guest She's 17 for crying out loud.

32:13 Adam That's right.

32:14 Caller Can I ask one more quick question?

32:16 Adam Yeah.

32:17 Caller I really want to try shrooms, and I want to know, is that really bad for you?

32:22 Adam I don't think it's that bad for you.

32:24 Guest A single exposure, probably no big deal. Multiple exposures. Although I've not seen this, I'm expecting to see some significant recurrent mood disturbances, depression, that sort of thing, which is what typically occurs from hallucinogen exposure.

32:36 Adam People don't do enough shrooms to do that.

32:39 Guest I agree with you, but I expect to see more of that. Well, I look forward to it, too.

32:44 Adam We both look forward to a lot of brain damage in the future.

32:47 Guest Great.

32:47 Adam All right, Brian?

32:48 Guest That's what's going to happen.

32:49 Adam Hey, Brian?

32:50 Guest Yeah.

32:50 Adam But listen, let me explain something. I give this speech weekly now. All right. You got a decent brain in your skull. Not a great one, just a decent one.

33:01 Caller Oh, I'm glad. Thank you.

33:03 Adam Right. You don't want to mess with it too much.

33:06 Caller Okay.

33:06 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

33:07 Caller I see.

33:07 Adam You'll go from average to stupid. Well, yeah. If you're a genius, you could knock yourself down to average, and I'll be okay with that. But you're starting at average, and you're going to go down to moron. Then there's going to be trouble. I mean it.

33:21 Guest I understand. There's growing evidence that 15, 16, 17-year-olds will have brain change and even damage from even modest exposure to hallucinogens, including marijuana.

33:30 Adam I mean think about what people are doing. You're 15, 16, 17. As it is, you have sort of an average IQ, and life's going to be a struggle. I mean you're going to have to work hard. You're going to have to study hard. You're going to have to do whatever just to get a decent job. Now you're dumping a whole bunch of acid and a whole bunch of X on top of that, a whole bunch of weed on top of that, and all of a sudden you go from sort of average to retard. And you've put yourself into that position.

34:00 Guest The problem with all those hallucinogens now is not so much that they affect cognition, that you become more stupid.

34:06 Adam It's more stupid, I think.

34:08 Guest More stupid, though you can affect memory. The more routine kinds of consequence have to do with just long-standing recalcitrant mood problems, severe depressions that go on a lifetime.

34:21 Adam Yeah, yeah. Like I said last night, I'd freak out if I did mushrooms now. I'd freak out. I go nuts. I think I'm positive of it. John?

34:33 Yeah.

34:33 Adam You're 14? What's up?

34:36 Caller I'm just wondering what the average size penis for my age is.

34:42 Adam Twelve and a half inches.

34:44 Guest There's a lot of variability.

34:45 Adam What are you coming in at?

34:46 Guest So people don't really talk in terms of average length.

34:48 Adam If you're between 10 and 12, that's fine for a 14-year-old. What are you at, John?

34:52 Drew What a horrible person you are.

34:54 Caller I'm six and a half inches.

34:57 Adam Oh, wow.

34:59 Drew That wasn't me laughing.

35:00 Adam That's flaccid, right? That's limp?

35:03 Caller No.

35:04 Adam Oh, wow. What do you think, Drew?

35:09 Drew Let's just cut to the chase. That's right in the pocket.

35:11 Guest No, for 14, that's way above average.

35:12 Adam Yeah, that's pretty good.

35:13 Drew For 14, yeah.

35:14 Adam Yeah, that's solid. Six and a half? Yeah. Now, do you measure like I do from the center of the anus to just beyond the tip?

35:22 Guest And let's set Aimee straight here, too. By the six and a half is not average for the grown male.

35:27 Adam Six and a half is actually larger than the average. Well, let me show you six.

35:33 Drew Well, I'm just estimating.

35:34 Adam I wish I could show you six and a half. Using something other than my fingers, but yeah, there you go. That's in between the fingers. But you measured correctly there, John?

35:46 Caller Yeah.

35:46 Adam Yeah, six and a half, that's fine. You're well on your way.

35:50 Caller All right.

35:51 Adam But listen, it doesn't guarantee a rich and fruitful life for you. You still have to work hard.

35:57 Caller Yeah, I know.

35:58 Adam All right. Study hard in school.

36:00 Caller Thanks.

36:00 Adam All right. What do you think the average age a guy measures his penis? Everyone's met. Drew, I know you've measured your penis, although you don't want to talk about it. Michael, I know you've measured your penis, because every man has measured his penis.

36:12 Drew Have you measured your penis?

36:13 Caller Most of it's in the fifth dimension. It's down the Kurt Vonnegut line. I've measured somebody's penis, and most of it's in the fifth dimension.

36:20 Adam You've measured it at one high school or something, right?

36:22 Caller I'm sure I did, yeah.

36:23 Adam Drew was a little more advanced. He did the water displacement test. It wasn't enough that he just got the length. But the point is, you do it somewhere around 15, and then you don't seem to do it again. I don't know if it's because you don't want to know at a certain point, or it's just you're not interested or what it is. But I think every guy does it, and I'm guessing the average age would be about 14 or 15. Tad? If you go metric, though, it's much better. 26 millimeters per inch. Yeah, it can be like 150 millimeters or something like that, 175. It sounds impressive. Tad?

37:04 Yes, oh my god.

37:05 Adam Yes, you're 26. What's up?

37:07 Caller I had to get into an office. I can't hear you with all the rivets shooting.

37:10 Adam What are you working on, a boat?

37:12 Caller Yeah, we're building jets. I'm here in Long Beach.

37:15 Adam You are? What kind of jets you're building?

37:17 Caller There we are. Does that sound better?

37:18 Adam Yeah.

37:19 Caller We build the Gulf Stream 5. It's a beautiful aircraft.

37:22 Adam Oh, it's a luxury corporate toy.

37:24 Caller I tell a lot of people most of the time, I work in a corporate toy factory.

37:27 Adam Personal aviation there. How much does one of those Gulf Streams run?

37:32 Caller Do you really want to know?

37:34 Adam Yeah.

37:34 Caller It ranges. It depends on the customer. We've built aircraft up to $85 million a piece for the Sultan of Brunei. I mean, that was ridiculously high. That's the high end where you had gold inlay in the wood and diamonds. It was ridiculous.

37:47 Adam Great guy.

37:47 Caller The low end is about $35 million. You can get a G5 for it.

37:50 Adam Oh, I don't know. Drew, we should pool and get one of those.

37:54 Caller Oh, my God.

37:55 Adam Yeah.

37:55 Caller Gentlemen, first, I can't tell you. I've taken many seeds of wisdom from both you, Drew, and Adam. I have a great deal of respect for what you do for the public, the service you perform on a weekly and daily basis.

38:07 Adam Wow, thanks.

38:08 Caller I applaud both of your efforts. Thank you very much.

38:10 Adam Well, thank you. And what else?

38:14 Guest What's going on?

38:16 Caller Oh my God. Well, basically, it's very hard for me to share this with you, but I'll do my best. I have a beautiful little daughter, her name is Skye, and I have been legally restrained from her by her mother who wanted to leave the country, and that was the only way she could do it. I have never performed anything in the world of violence. I have done everything I can do legally to be a part of my daughter's life and build a relationship with her. Unfortunately, the mother's demands for her independence overwhelmed her, I think, sense of being a regular family. I did everything I could do. I am honestly telling you this, to be a member of a family. I offered her a ring, I bought her a car, I asked her to marry me, and when she would not accept the fact that I enjoyed living in this country and wanted to stay on the West Coast, she got very bitter and cold and distant over time.

39:15 Adam Where is she from?

39:17 Caller England.

39:18 Adam I see. And?

39:20 Caller The baby wasn't going to have an English accent, she wasn't going to eat tea and crumpets, she wasn't going to have the lingo. I mean, they call things over there very differently. A hood on a car is called a bonnet, a diaper is called a nappy, it's ridiculous.

39:32 Guest That's the reason you wouldn't want to raise your child in England?

39:34 Adam Hold on a second, we got to talk about this, Ted. Yeah, it's interesting.

39:39 Guest Do you believe that?

39:41 Adam Well, you know, they call the hood the boot and then the boot's the bonnet or something. They're very confusing, I understand that. Here's something ironic, the guy builds airplanes for a living, his kid's name is Sky.

39:53 Guest Yeah.

39:54 Adam I don't know if he had another kid, you have to name it like a helicopter or something, or like a propeller. On one hand, I believe him, on the other hand, he sounds sort of detached from the whole experience. Sounds a little frantic.

40:07 Drew He sounds kind of manic.

40:08 Adam Like a rap going or something.

40:10 Drew Or maybe he's told the story many times.

40:12 Adam Yeah, it's like he's reading it off his wrist.

40:15 Guest But he's had to do it in court and whatnot. I mean, he's got a script, well-heeled script here.

40:19 Adam Okay.

40:19 Drew Yeah, those kind of things you talk about a lot.

40:23 Caller So, Ted. By the way, Sky was named after the Isle of Sky off of the coast of England.

40:27 Adam Well, no, I know that. And why was she able to get a restraining order against you?

40:34 Caller Oh, my God. She just goes down to the court and asks for one. She had no allegations of violence. None.

40:41 Adam I see. And why is it you think she doesn't want to marry you?

40:44 Caller Obviously, I didn't fulfill the need she had. She's five years older than I am. Ironically, after I was restrained, I went to deliver a birthday cake. I'm not kidding. She had the police called. They had an order saying, oh, you were under a restraining order. That was a violation. I ended up back in court because I dropped a birthday cake off.

41:04 Adam Right.

41:04 Caller I'm not kidding. But she doesn't want to marry me basically because I don't think she was, and I am, at the same stage that we are in life.

41:11 Adam All right.

41:11 Caller I wanted a child.

41:12 Adam Well, let's not-

41:13 Caller Divorced. That was it.

41:14 Drew Was there a custody agreement of some kind?

41:17 Adam I'm sorry?

41:18 Drew Is there a custody agreement in place?

41:20 Caller I asked for one.

41:21 Caller We've been to mediation. I have implored her. Give me that chance.

41:25 Drew All right. She's not going to mediate. She doesn't want to work it out. Really, the only thing you can do is go to court. You've got to go to court. You've got to try for full custody because that's the only thing that- I mean, I was-

41:41 Caller There are father's rights organizations that you can contact as well that will help you direct you to the course of action you should take.

41:48 Drew If you fight for full custody, there's a chance you might get joint custody or there's a chance you-

41:53 Guest She's already gone, though. She's in England, right?

41:54 Drew Is she gone?

41:55 Caller She's gone. I fought an uphill battle with an attorney. There's probably a very big mistake to use one. At least he thought he was guiding me in the right way, not knowing the system, not understanding what I was-

42:05 Drew You've got to go for full custody, man. That's the only- Because if you don't ask for full custody, they don't award joint custody.

42:12 Adam Oh, really?

42:13 Drew They don't. I was in a custody battle when I was a kid.

42:18 Adam Hold on a second, Tad. Is she in England with Sky now?

42:22 Caller I believe so. All right.

42:24 Adam Hold on a second.

42:24 Drew There's multiple. So they don't have an agreement.

42:26 Adam Explain that, Aimee.

42:27 Drew They were in mediation. They haven't come to an agreement. There is no custody agreement yet. There has to be a custody agreement. She's- Well, I don't know.

42:34 Guest She's a fugitive. She's kidnapped a child.

42:36 Drew But England doesn't like that because that's what happened to me.

42:39 Guest What?

42:40 Drew When I was three years old, my mother took me to England before there was a custody agreement. So from what I know about it, England's not really amused when you do that. So I think the authorities might be able to get involved in that way.

42:54 Guest What happened in your case?

42:58 Drew My father figured out where I was just by accident after about nine months. I think they got in touch with the English authorities and they saw to it that I was brought back. Now I'm not positive.

43:11 Guest Now what do you think would be the best thing for the child? Let's say in this case, the Tad's calling him bad. By the way, this thing that Tad's describing to us, there must be big, big pieces of this puzzle missing.

43:21 Caller Sounds like it, but you never know.

43:23 Drew There always is. There always is two sides to every story, but sometimes the other side is just that the other person's crazy. Yeah, that is sometimes.

43:29 Guest Was that where your mom was at?

43:33 Drew That's a long story. No, I don't think so, but...

43:37 Guest Let's look at it from the standpoint of the child, of how we advise Tad. Is he doing something good on behalf of the child to go after her? Should he let the child have his life and establish a life elsewhere?

43:46 Drew I think, I mean, unless something's really wrong with him, and then we don't know that, or unless something's wrong with her, and that could be, I mean, a restraining or with no reason, that's pretty crazy. That's, you know, that's kind of chaotic. So unless something's wrong with either of them, you know, that they're violent or dangerous in some way, I really think that the child needs to see both parents.

44:09 Guest Both biological parents.

44:10 Drew And maybe it's that six months out of the year, the kid lives in England, and six months she comes back here.

44:15 Guest Did you have something like that go on?

44:16 Drew No, no, I didn't see her. I didn't see my mother. When I was brought back, it was a very complicated situation, but I ended up seeing with my father. I didn't see her until, I saw her once when I was 14, and then I saw her again when I was an adult.

44:27 Guest Wow.

44:28 Adam Is your mother is English?

44:30 Drew No, no, no.

44:31 Adam She fled to England.

44:32 Drew Yeah, she went with somebody. She ran off with somebody.

44:35 Guest Do you remember that being a painful or unpleasant experience, being taken away from her?

44:41 Adam She's nine months old.

44:42 Drew No, no, I was three years old.

44:43 Adam Oh, three.

44:47 Drew It's just, you know, the guy she ran off with was a big problem. So, I remember not wanting to be with, you know...

44:55 Guest Around that.

44:56 Drew Around that. And, you know, I think my father is probably more stable. So, you know, but the whole thing was damaging. I mean, it was terrible to be taken from him for nine months. It was a long time when you were just a little kid. Oh, yeah. So, you know, the whole thing was pretty, pretty awful. I mean, I don't have sort of active memories of the pain of being taken, of not being with her anymore.

45:19 Adam Right.

45:20 Drew Which is probably significant. I mean, I think I've, you know, just, you know.

45:25 Adam You buried it.

45:26 Drew Absolutely.

45:26 Guest Cut yourself off.

45:27 Drew Yeah. I'm totally, you know, detached from it.

45:29 Adam Yeah.

45:30 Drew But I think a kid has to need, you need to see both your parents.

45:33 Guest Yeah.

45:33 Adam All right. We got to take a break. I'll tell you what. We'll gang up on Aimee during the commercial and see if we can pull some of that out of her. What do you say, Drew? Drew's good at that. Let's go. All right. You ready? A little tag team avoidance detachment. Full cracker. Yeah. I'll start on the right flank. You go low.

45:52 Guest I got your wing.

45:53 Adam All right. We'll be back with Michael Penn and Aimee Mann after this.

46:02 Caller We'll be right back with more Love Line.

46:35 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Amy Mann and Michael Penn are our guests tonight. We're here mainly to talk about the Amy CD, and we're gonna hear something off of Bachelor number two, which is Amy's latest CD. She'll also be seen on the Tonight Show tomorrow night on Leno, which is pretty cool. Drew, you've never done Leno, right?

46:58 Guest No, but you've done it many times.

46:59 Adam Oh, shut up. All right, Amy, not that Amy, this Amy. Amy, you're 25.

47:05 Caller Yes, hi.

47:06 Guest What's up?

47:07 Caller The reason I'm calling is because five months ago, I gave birth and ever since then, sex has been so painful that I really can't have it at all.

47:18 Guest At what point is it painful? Immediately on penetration or deep penetration or what?

47:25 Caller Immediately.

47:26 Caller Immediately.

47:27 Guest Was this your first child? Yes. Did you have an episiotomy?

47:31 Caller Yes.

47:32 Guest Does it feel like that's not going together too well?

47:35 Adam I'm sorry. My lip hurts every time I hear that word episiotomy. Drew, describe the episiotomy for younger listeners.

47:44 Guest Basically, it's like putting the floor of the perineum. How can you describe that where that is to people? Just the part between the vagina and the anus, sort of stretches out as the baby's head comes down the birth canal. Dr. Pinsky reaches down there and just cuts along the perineum, the part where you're glued together.

48:03 Adam Drew, you go cuts along and you make this motion that's about a foot and a half long, but there's not that much space between those two areas, is there?

48:11 Guest When the baby's head's coming down, that space gets to be about yay big.

48:14 Adam Oh, it does not. Is that right?

48:15 Guest Oh, yes, it does.

48:16 Adam Nine inches big?

48:18 Drew It thins out, right?

48:19 Guest It thins out and it stretches, and it comes out like this. Oh. Then you just cut it and out comes the kid.

48:24 Adam And what do they do? Rub some coke on it or something before they cut it? They just cut it.

48:28 Guest Well, you can inject lidocaine in there sometimes.

48:30 Adam I do that, yeah.

48:32 Drew Or if you have an epidural, anyway.

48:34 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm going to have.

48:36 Caller I did have an epidural.

48:38 Adam Right. Oh, I see. So they did the episiotomy?

48:41 Caller Right.

48:41 Adam And then they sew it back?

48:43 Caller Yes.

48:43 Adam When do they do that?

48:44 Caller Right after.

48:45 Adam Who's on that detail?

48:47 Guest Same guy.

48:47 Adam Wow. Sounds like a tough detail. It just sounds like a rough detail.

48:53 Guest There's all that afterbirth and everything. The tough detail is if you don't do the episiotomy, it rips through the vagina and the rectum.

48:58 Adam Don't tell me to the anus. I don't believe that.

49:01 Guest Then putting that all back together is tough. Did you have a tear? No.

49:05 Adam Okay. So they did that. They sewed that back together.

49:09 Caller Yes.

49:10 Adam Everything was fine. And now it's painful.

49:13 Caller It's very painful.

49:14 Adam It never was painful before.

49:16 Caller Well, actually, before I got pregnant, I was having some problems where it did hurt a little bit. And I told my OB about it. And he says, Oh, don't worry. After you have a baby, you'll be fine. It'll probably even be better for you. But now it is much worse. It's so painful. It burns very badly, too.

49:36 Guest Is there dryness?

49:38 Caller Yeah.

49:38 Guest Is that the big issue?

49:40 Caller I think that's part of it. Yeah.

49:42 Guest Yeah.

49:42 Adam Well, maybe you're not excited, do you think?

49:46 Well, no.

49:48 Caller I do get excited. But then when the time comes, I think I get very nervous because I know it's going to hurt.

49:54 Guest Then I'll tell you what. The hormone changes associated with having had a child can affect things like lubrication. Mm-hmm. How long ago was the baby delivered?

50:02 Caller About five months.

50:03 Guest Have you thought about going on birth control pills, something like that, to try to sort of reestablish normal?

50:08 Caller Well, I'm a Depro-Provera shot.

50:10 Guest Okay. Well, that may be the problem right there. Really? Absolutely. It may not be the child. It may be the Provera. Because that does change a lot. A lot of side effects. It's a great contraception. It's easy to use and whatnot, but a lot of side effects.

50:25 Adam Does it dry up?

50:26 Guest Yep, absolutely.

50:28 Caller All right.

50:29 Adam Okay. Hey, I got to get some of that. I think I'm exceptionally moist down there. You know, like after a long day.

50:36 Guest That's because of all the hair.

50:37 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it really keeps it in. Oh, that's pleasant. Yeah. Really tramps in.

50:41 Guest Oh, he keeps describing himself as like a.

50:42 Adam It's a little greenhouse down there.

50:44 Guest Like a.

50:44 Adam There's a gecko lizard down there. It's chasing a grasshopper.

50:47 Guest Shag carpet. You're trying to.

50:48 Adam Oh, how dare you.

50:49 Guest Get something out of a shag.

50:50 Adam Embarrass me in front of our guests. How dare you. All right. Caller Aimee.

50:55 Caller Yes.

50:57 Adam See about that depot shot.

50:58 Guest Talk to you about maybe going on a birth control pill with estrogen.

51:02 Adam You're into your husband, right?

51:03 Caller Yes.

51:04 Adam You are? And what about just getting a lot of lubricant going and.

51:08 Caller Well, I've tried that. We've tried like the KY jelly and it still hurts.

51:13 Adam Okay. All right. Do you give him oral sex?

51:16 Caller No. I don't do that.

51:20 Adam Oh, now we're getting somewhere. Yeah. Why not?

51:26 Caller I've tried it like twice, but I just kind of get disgusted by it.

51:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And wow, not many options left for your husband. What? And does he do that on you?

51:40 Caller Sometimes.

51:41 Adam Just to take the stitches out?

51:43 Caller What's that?

51:44 Adam No. He doesn't do it on you that often?

51:47 Caller Sometimes.

51:49 Adam What's going on over there?

51:51 Caller I don't know. I mean, ever since the baby's been born, we just, we have not had sex at all.

51:57 Adam Yeah.

51:58 Caller And every time we try, it hurts so bad, I would tell him to stop.

52:03 Adam Yeah. But can't he give you some oral sex and give you an orgasm?

52:07 Caller Well, he could, but he doesn't.

52:09 Adam Uh-huh. Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah. All right. Why don't you look into that, Aimee? I think there's something else going on here. And why don't you give him some moral sex? Did you have a bad experience?

52:23 Caller No, I didn't have a bad experience. I'm just, I'm afraid to in a way too. It just kind of grosses me out.

52:29 Guest A preference thing.

52:30 Adam Yeah. All right. Are you religious?

52:33 Caller No, not really.

52:34 Caller I'm not like a religious freak, no.

52:36 Adam All right. Well, have yourself a glass of wine and give your husband a BJ. Would you?

52:41 Drew Just for Adam.

52:42 Adam The man's in pain over there. All right. And he should get busy too. There's something going on with this couple. Do you know what I'm saying?

52:50 Guest Yeah.

52:51 Adam You're going to get a little vibe.

52:52 Guest Yeah.

52:54 Adam She's talking. It's all sort of biological. And then you bring up something and she's like, yes. And then she goes back to the biological stuff. And then it's like, but he won't. And then it's back to again, there's definitely some issues there. All right. Well, oh, we got to take a break. Andrew?

53:09 Caller Yeah.

53:09 Adam You're 15? You want to know if it's bad to mix accutane and pot?

53:14 Guest Not a great cliffhanger.

53:15 Caller No, I take accutane and I want to know if marijuana like.

53:19 Guest You're using a lot of pot too, though. So let's talk about it after the break.

53:22 Adam All right, genius. Hold on a second.

53:23 Guest You hear that pot talk?

53:24 Adam Oh, yeah. We'll be back after this.

53:28 Guest Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

53:31 Adam Back in a minute. Well, it's worth hearing. Yep, we're back with more Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there. Michael Penn and Amy Mann are our guests tonight. They're a talented married couple. Bachelor number two is Amy's CD, and MP4 is Michael's CD. And we're going to hear something else off of Amy's CD. Coming up this time, in this hour, sometime soon. Also, you can find her on The Night Show tomorrow night. And Drew, where are we going? Oh, OK, sorry. Andrew?

54:44 Caller Yeah.

54:44 Adam All right, so you smoke pot.

54:47 Caller Yeah, I've probably done it nine times in the past four months.

54:50 Adam And you take Accutane?

54:52 Guest Yeah.

54:53 Adam All right, so Drew?

54:54 Guest Doesn't sound like me.

54:55 Adam Now he sounds different. Yeah. What did you do? Take a cold shower or something?

55:00 Caller No.

55:01 Caller All right.

55:03 Guest All right, I don't know that that specifically has any significant effects, though. Accutane is a tough drug on your system. You don't want to be taking other things with that.

55:11 Caller Okay.

55:12 Adam Yeah. If you get pregnant, you have to stop, right?

55:15 Caller Oh, yeah. That's right.

55:16 Adam Okay.

55:17 Caller Also, I had another question. How long does it stay in your body?

55:21 Guest Accutane?

55:22 Caller No marijuana.

55:24 Guest Well, forever basically.

55:26 Caller Before you can get tested and it won't show up.

55:28 Guest It depends on how long you've been smoking. Yeah. If you've only spoken nine times in the last four months, you've got nothing to worry about.

55:35 Caller Okay.

55:35 Guest But if you're a daily pot smoker.

55:38 Adam Are you a daily pot smoker, Andrew?

55:40 Caller No.

55:41 Adam Okay. Where are you looking to get a job?

55:44 Caller Like at a food place.

55:46 Adam Place with food in it?

55:47 Caller Like a fast food place. I see.

55:51 Guest A food place. Rename those things restaurants?

55:54 Adam I don't know about that. I know something interesting I found out on the show just some months ago from Drew, that the place where they keep books is called? Library. Bookstore.

56:05 Guest Library.

56:06 Adam Library. And the thing I found interesting about the word library is it didn't have book in it. It's just library. It's like you think it would be called like book place or book holdatorium or you know what I'm saying? Book hole. Book building. But library, it's like where's the connection? Where does that even come from, Drew? You know what I'm saying?

56:29 Guest Libra.

56:30 Adam Yeah? Libra? And what do they have to do with it? That's my point. No one knows. Chelsea? Yeah? You're 17. No wonder there's not more people there. They're confused. They can't figure it out. What's up?

56:43 Caller Okay. I have two totally unrelated questions. But.

56:46 Adam Go right ahead.

56:47 Caller Okay. The first one is, do you guys know what the legal age for a boob job is?

56:52 Guest There's no legal. Without parental involvement, you mean?

56:56 Caller Yeah.

56:56 Adam Well, it's probably 18 in Los Angeles. I think it's 11. You have to have a note from a producer.

57:03 Guest And I would think the few cosmetic or plastic surgeons would be willing to do this to somebody that hadn't finished developing.

57:09 Caller Okay.

57:10 Adam What do you want to get done?

57:11 Caller I want to get my boobs bigger.

57:13 Adam I see.

57:13 Guest Why?

57:14 Caller Because I want them bigger.

57:16 Adam I want big boobs.

57:17 Drew Bouncy, bouncy.

57:18 Adam You're 17. Really? How small are you now?

57:22 Caller I'm a C right now. Yeah.

57:25 Adam That's fine.

57:26 Caller No. It's not fine.

57:27 Drew That's big.

57:28 Adam You want to be a D?

57:29 Caller Double D.

57:30 Adam Double D?

57:31 Caller Yeah.

57:31 Drew Wow.

57:32 Caller That's frightening. That's fine. My mom won't find.

57:34 Drew That's scary.

57:34 Adam How big is the rest of you?

57:36 Caller I'm about 5'6, 5'7, like 125, around there.

57:42 Adam Yeah. Maybe 140? No. All right. Wow. Hold on. I turned my earphones down. All right. What's up? Drew, please. You're 17 years old. You have a beautiful body, right? 125, 5'7, nice C cup. Where are you going?

57:59 Caller I want a bigger one.

58:00 Guest Do you ever have an eating disorder?

58:02 Caller No.

58:03 Adam No?

58:03 Caller No.

58:04 Adam What's wrong with you?

58:05 Caller Nothing. Why does everybody say that when I tell them that?

58:08 Adam Well, they talk to you. That's why they say that. Where's your dad?

58:12 Caller My dad?

58:13 Adam Yeah.

58:14 Caller He's in bed sleeping.

58:16 Adam Yeah? Yeah. In prison or in his room? Here. You guys live in prison?

58:22 Caller Huh?

58:22 Adam No.

58:23 Caller No.

58:24 Adam Yeah. Do you love him?

58:25 Caller I love my dad.

58:26 Caller Yeah.

58:26 Adam He ever do anything weird to you? Okay.

58:29 Guest Do you ever have people tell you that your view of your own body is distorted?

58:35 Caller I used to be overweight. I used to be like 160.

58:39 Adam Yeah. I immediately got that vibe. I went with how much you weigh.

58:43 Caller I used to weigh like 160 and then I got mono and I got really skinny. Then I went to the gym and blah, blah, blah. Then so now I'm like.

58:51 Adam Now you're going a little crazy.

58:52 Caller Now I just want bigger boobs. That's all because it's like I got the weight part down. Now I just want bigger boobs.

58:57 Adam Do you go to the gym all the time?

58:59 Yep.

59:00 Adam Like every day?

59:02 Caller It's not every other day.

59:03 Guest You jumped at me when I said you have an eating disorder. Have you ever thought about vomiting or using laxatives?

59:09 Caller No, no, no, no.

59:11 Caller I eat all the time. I have no problem with eating. It's just before I ate way too much.

59:16 Adam Okay. All right. Well, don't get that boob job.

59:18 Guest Just wait a little while, all right?

59:20 Adam All right. Spend that money on a therapist.

59:22 Guest Yeah, please.

59:23 Caller Okay, this one is gross.

59:24 Caller I don't, okay.

59:26 Caller Like I know that girls like have dreams about, you know, like lesbian stuff and I'm not lesbian at all, okay? And like a normal lesbian dream would not gross me out or anything, but I had like a lesbian dream about me and my sister.

59:40 Caller Yikes.

59:41 Caller Yeah, tell me about it.

59:42 Adam Really?

59:44 Caller That like seriously freaked me out. I'm like, ew. So now I don't, it was gross.

59:49 Adam So now you don't want, you don't sleep anymore?

59:51 Caller Oh, no, not with my sister around.

59:53 Guest Do you think?

59:55 Adam Well, are you, what are you scared? You're going to do something to your sister?

59:58 Caller No, no, I'm just saying. No, I just like had a-

1:00:01 Adam Well, hold on a second. We don't talk to many stereotypical high school girls anymore in this show, but I think we found our mascot in Chelsea's. He's like, do you have any? He's like, no. You're not allowed to- No.

1:00:18 Drew I like the use of ewe.

1:00:20 Adam Yeah, ewe.

1:00:21 Drew We should bring that back.

1:00:22 Adam Yeah, it's not around anymore. Hey, Chelsea?

1:00:26 Drew What kind of relationship do you have with your sister?

1:00:28 Caller We're best friends.

1:00:29 Adam I see. How old is she?

1:00:31 Caller She's 14. No, she's just turned 15. Sorry.

1:00:34 Adam I see.

1:00:34 Drew I think sometimes you can have a dream where you're having sex with somebody, but it's just more symbolizes intimacy. It somehow gets sexualized.

1:00:46 Guest Yes, absolutely. Women do that more frequently than men, but that's absolutely the case, especially at this age.

1:00:51 Adam All right. You're fine, Chelsea.

1:00:53 Caller Anything you want on the boob jobs?

1:00:54 Drew Why do you want bigger boobs? Just out of curiosity.

1:00:57 Caller Because I have four friends that are skinnier than me that have double Ds.

1:01:02 Adam Really?

1:01:02 Caller Yeah.

1:01:03 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:01:04 Caller I live in Cypress, but I go to school in Torrance.

1:01:06 Drew Do they have boob jobs?

1:01:08 Caller Yeah.

1:01:09 Drew Are theirs fake?

1:01:10 Caller No.

1:01:10 Drew They're real?

1:01:11 Caller Yeah. Wow.

1:01:12 Caller Where is this place?

1:01:13 Adam I'm moving to Torrance.

1:01:15 Drew It's the double D town.

1:01:16 Caller I hang out with them all day.

1:01:17 Adam You hang out with the double D girls?

1:01:19 Caller Yes, and I'm just a small C and they make me sick.

1:01:22 Adam Listen, you got to start hanging out with some of the frumpy chicks. Makes you feel better about yourself. Don't you understand anything about psychology? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:01:30 Caller Yeah.

1:01:31 Adam It's all relative.

1:01:32 Caller All right.

1:01:33 Drew Well, it's not only all relative. I mean, if it's done because you imagine that that's what guys like, that's what all guys like, that just isn't true.

1:01:42 Adam Let me tell you something.

1:01:43 Drew Adam is not like every man.

1:01:45 Adam That's right. I'm very unique. Thank you. You're finally coming around. There's a backlash against the fake boobs these days. There's magazines coming out, all natural magazines.

1:01:56 Guest I know they offend you, but.

1:01:58 Adam Well, no, I'm fine with that. I have no problems with that.

1:02:02 Guest The fact that it's a reaction to something you find appealing.

1:02:05 Adam I'm not a fake boob fan. Fake boobs better than no boob. It's not as good as a real boob.

1:02:12 Guest I see.

1:02:13 Adam That's the packing order. But here's what I'm saying.

1:02:16 Guest The circle of life.

1:02:17 Adam Most guys I know aren't into the fake boobs. Like I said, as a society, I think we're experiencing a little fake boob backlash. Yeah.

1:02:26 Drew We're moving away from the fake boobs.

1:02:28 Adam On the other hand, I sympathize for any 17-year-old girls listening out there who asked to turn on the TV and see what's going on and has her friends and all this stuff. I mean, I understand the temptation. And I don't know where I'd be if I was 17, if there's some process that I could do that would make women magically more attracted to me, I'd probably pay the money.

1:02:50 Drew This is the way I look at it. What kind of guy would be more attracted to you? A guy like Adam. That's right. Is that really what you want?

1:02:58 Adam Yeah.

1:02:58 Drew I don't think so.

1:02:59 Adam You don't need another me in your life. No. I'm covered with hair. I have horrible habits.

1:03:04 Drew It's weird sponge hair.

1:03:06 Adam Yeah. It's like a pubic hair on top of my head. It's like I'm wearing a mercant on top of my head. Look at this. There's no difference. You see this?

1:03:15 Drew It's true. It's kind of pubic-y. Yeah.

1:03:17 Adam Oh, kind of.

1:03:18 Drew It's very dense and kind of spongy.

1:03:20 Adam Yeah. It acts as a protective shield for my skull, though.

1:03:24 Caller Hey, how you doing?

1:03:27 Adam Donald. Oh, wait a minute.

1:03:31 Guest There we go.

1:03:32 Adam Donald's been on hold for 54 minutes.

1:03:34 Drew There's the commentary.

1:03:36 Adam Yeah. Yeah. No greater, no greater compliment could be paid to a radio host having someone just sawing logs. All right. This is good, though.

1:03:47 Drew Well, at least we didn't disturb him with our conversation. Donald. Donald.

1:03:57 Adam No, don't wake him up. We're going to just tune. We'll tune in and tune out with him. He'll be, he'll be sawing logs all night. It's great. There's nothing better. It keeps getting funnier, too. Aimee, I think that the Cussidy stories would really put him down. I'd probably put him in a ram. He'd probably just dozing off when I was telling some story. But I think the Cussidy story, I think that really put him down for the long count. All right. We're going to check back in with him. Then we'll start gambling on whether he's still snoring or not. It really gets fun. We haven't had one of these in a while, but it's always a good time. James?

1:04:30 Caller Yeah.

1:04:31 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:04:33 Caller After I have sex with my girlfriend, after I ejaculate, it's hard to keep an erection, obviously, for most men, I'm sure. But is there something I can do to maybe go again, or is that pretty much it?

1:04:45 Guest No, you go, but wait a few minutes.

1:04:48 Caller What's that?

1:04:49 Adam You want to use the same erection?

1:04:51 Caller Yeah.

1:04:51 Adam Let me tell you something about erection. They're like syringes. You got to throw them out when you're done using them. You understand?

1:04:58 Caller Yeah.

1:04:58 Adam But it's all right. You have an infinite supply of erections. You'll get another one. It's like a bus that runs every 20 minutes. There's another one that will be coming any moment now.

1:05:08 Guest You have an erection disposal unit?

1:05:10 Adam Yeah, it's my hamper. I keep it in my hamper. Made comes in once a week.

1:05:15 Caller I have one more quick question.

1:05:17 Adam Yeah.

1:05:18 Caller When me and my girlfriend are about to have sex, it's like when I'm entering her, it kills her every time. Every time.

1:05:27 Adam Yeah. Every time. It's painful for her.

1:05:29 Caller What's that?

1:05:29 Adam Yeah. You gotta get a running start. It's not happening quick enough.

1:05:34 Caller Is that normal?

1:05:35 Guest Is there a mismatch in your anatomy with hers?

1:05:38 Caller No.

1:05:39 Adam No? Is she... Do you spend some time on her first?

1:05:43 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:05:44 Adam You know what I mean? Real time, do you really pay your dues down there? Yeah. You do?

1:05:49 Caller Yes, I do.

1:05:50 Adam You got the fingers and tongues and everything going? Really? And then and only then do you attempt to enter her?

1:05:58 Caller Of course.

1:05:59 Adam Do you wear a condom?

1:06:00 Caller Yeah.

1:06:00 Adam Well, maybe that's it. I mean, she could be kind of has that, you know, basketball sneaker on a hardwood floor kind of thing, that squeaky thing sometimes.

1:06:10 Guest And some women just have a certain amount of spasm down there that causes pain with penetration. The fact that it goes away after a while is sort of a good sign.

1:06:18 Adam Could you get some lubricant?

1:06:20 Caller Yeah.

1:06:21 Adam Yeah. Why don't you do that?

1:06:22 Caller Oh, he's got it. He's got it.

1:06:24 Drew Latex really is a very pleasant feeling. It must be sad.

1:06:28 Adam Maybe get one of those sheepskin condoms.

1:06:32 Caller Would that make a big difference?

1:06:33 Adam I don't know. Drew, what do you think?

1:06:34 Drew I'll give the woman's point of view.

1:06:36 Adam Go ahead.

1:06:36 Drew Yeah.

1:06:37 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:06:38 Drew And just take it slow.

1:06:39 Caller Okay.

1:06:40 Adam All right. Try one of those.

1:06:41 Caller Yeah.

1:06:41 Adam All right. Maybe she can get on some birth control or something eventually.

1:06:44 Caller She's already on it.

1:06:45 Adam Oh, she is?

1:06:46 Caller Yeah.

1:06:46 Adam What are you using the condoms for then?

1:06:48 Caller Well, she's going to be in about a couple weeks.

1:06:50 Adam All right. Well, maybe that'll do it.

1:06:53 Caller How effective would that be?

1:06:54 Guest What?

1:06:55 Caller With just the birth control.

1:06:57 Adam Very effective.

1:06:57 Guest 99.99.

1:06:59 Caller Okay. Basically, birth control may be a condom would be about, well, I guess you can't say 100 percent, but-

1:07:07 Guest Approaching it.

1:07:08 Caller Yeah.

1:07:09 Adam All right, James. All right.

1:07:10 Caller Thanks.

1:07:10 Adam Good luck. What happened to our snore guy?

1:07:13 Drew Oh, he's gone.

1:07:15 Adam Daniel, did you hang up on our snore guy? Line number two. You have him? Oh, he woke up? That bastard. Tell him that Aimee's going to retell the custody story. Let's see if we can get him back down for the next break.

1:07:30 Guest Oh, he's there.

1:07:31 Adam Oh, he's here? All right. Should we talk to him? Sure. Donald?

1:07:34 Guest Oh, she's putting him up.

1:07:35 Adam Oh, she's putting him up? Okay. Talk to Linda. You're 20. What's up?

1:07:42 Caller I had a question about masturbation.

1:07:43 Adam You've come to the right place.

1:07:46 Caller I wanted to know how much is too much.

1:07:49 Adam What are you good for?

1:07:51 Caller I'm sorry?

1:07:51 Adam What are you good for a day?

1:07:54 Caller I would say attempts about seven. When I actually come through, probably about four.

1:07:59 Adam I see.

1:08:00 Caller Yeah.

1:08:00 Adam It's not a great banning average.

1:08:02 Caller No, it's not. But then again, I mean, I do it anywhere and everywhere. Yeah.

1:08:07 Adam I don't want to brag, but if I attempt a thousand, I'll get 999 off.

1:08:12 Guest Well, too much is when there are consequences.

1:08:17 Caller Such as?

1:08:18 Adam Pulling a calf muscle, stuff like that.

1:08:20 Guest Having a hurting, harming relationships, physically harming yourself, spending a lot of money doing stuff.

1:08:26 Caller Okay. I'm good so far.

1:08:28 Guest That's what is too much.

1:08:29 Adam Where do you masturbate?

1:08:32 Caller Anywhere that I know it's safe, such as, I mean, a fair deal in my bathtub. I love the bathtub water technique, but I mean, it's gone so far as work. I mean, even in restaurants by myself, in the ladies' room, but wherever I can find a nice house.

1:08:49 Guest The real question is whether or not you were sexually abused when you were younger, because that's sort of what creates a sexual compulsive in most cases.

1:08:57 Caller See, well, I was celibate for about two years. I had sex when I was 17, like two times. And I recently started, like about three weeks ago, having sex. And it seems like I've had it, and it just doesn't do it for me. I'm much happier by myself.

1:09:15 Adam She kind of sidestepped that question. Yeah. Hey, Linda?

1:09:18 Caller Yes.

1:09:18 Adam Were you ever sexually abused?

1:09:19 Caller No. No, actually. And I've gone to counseling before.

1:09:24 Adam Why?

1:09:24 Caller And, you know, I've never had any problems, any of the guidelines, the basic, you know, being turned on by rape fantasies and whatnot.

1:09:33 Guest I mean, just to have manic depression in your family?

1:09:36 Caller No.

1:09:36 Guest Okay.

1:09:37 Caller All right.

1:09:38 Adam Maybe it's living on that freeway that's doing it. Will you shut that goddamn screen door, please?

1:09:45 Caller I'm sorry.

1:09:46 Adam What are you doing? Smoking out on your balcony?

1:09:48 Caller No, I'm just sitting out enjoying the fresh air.

1:09:50 Adam Well, stop it. It's annoying. It's all carbon monoxide anyway.

1:09:54 Caller Oh.

1:09:55 Adam I don't know what's going on over there. All right. So seven times a day?

1:09:59 Caller Basically.

1:09:59 Adam Yeah. And what's up with the guys, though? That's the question.

1:10:04 Caller Well, they're there.

1:10:06 Adam Yeah.

1:10:06 Caller But I just, I don't know. I'm just so much happier about myself.

1:10:10 Adam Where's your dad?

1:10:12 Caller Oh, well, he is probably about 15 miles away from my home.

1:10:15 Adam Yeah. You get along well with him?

1:10:17 Caller We get along just fine. And I have no problem with father figures. And I don't like the sugar daddies.

1:10:22 Adam All right. What's up, though? What's up with you and intimacy?

1:10:27 Caller I don't know. I just that's a good question. I guess that's why I be calling you the expert.

1:10:32 Adam Well, did someone do something to you? I mean, burn you or hurt you, break your heart?

1:10:38 Caller No, not that I can recall. I've had my fair share of dealings and relationships.

1:10:43 Guest All with men? All with men?

1:10:46 Caller Nothing. Nothing too traumatic.

1:10:47 Adam Yeah. That's what I'm. That was my next question. What do you think about when you let off with yourself? Whatever the kids call it these days.

1:10:55 Caller The kids call it these days, huh? Pretty much, I like to watch soft porn.

1:11:02 Adam Soft porn, yeah.

1:11:03 Caller Soft porn, though.

1:11:04 Adam And do you think about women?

1:11:06 Caller Occasionally.

1:11:07 Adam Yeah. Do you think?

1:11:08 Caller Nothing more than the average norm, I'm sure.

1:11:10 Adam Yeah. Not the average lesbian. Are you into women, you think?

1:11:15 Caller I've been.

1:11:16 Adam Oh, you've been. Now we're getting somewhere.

1:11:20 Caller I am.

1:11:21 Adam What's up with the women? Are you a lesbian?

1:11:24 Caller I wouldn't. I wouldn't call myself full-blown, no. No, I wouldn't call myself full-blown, no. I can say I'm here, there, I guess bisexual would be.

1:11:33 Adam Hey, Linda, are you still out on the porch?

1:11:35 Caller I am.

1:11:36 Adam Hey, hey, honey, didn't we have that discussion ten minutes ago?

1:11:41 Caller But it's so cold.

1:11:42 Adam Okay, hold on a second. Jesus Christ. Oh, I hate our callers. God, do I hate them.

1:11:50 Drew Just because you won't go inside for you?

1:11:52 Adam Well, I mean, she's on a national. How much national radio does she do? Obviously, it's distracting. I wouldn't have brought it up. And then as if I'm not going to hear it again. Oh, God, I'm only talking to her again so I can punish her.

1:12:08 Caller Okay, I'm sorry.

1:12:09 Adam Linda, I want you to go in the house and into the closet and shut the door.

1:12:14 Guest Linda, there's a lot more going on here. You got a lot of stuff going on.

1:12:17 Adam Yes, you're in the closet in more ways than one. You may be a lesbian.

1:12:22 Caller Do you think that's what it is?

1:12:23 Adam I think there's something going on that you seem to be avoiding sexually.

1:12:27 Drew But what about the seven times a day masturbation? I mean, that does seem kind of compulsive or sort of mood altering or at the very least.

1:12:35 Guest Her sexual identity is all kind of in confusion and chaos.

1:12:38 Adam And Linda, you have a real good rap and I know you've listened to the show and I know you know all the questions we're going to ask and all that kind of stuff and you're giving us all the answers before we even ask them. I sure as hell hope that truck just drove through your goddamn closet.

1:12:57 Caller You wouldn't believe that it did.

1:13:01 Adam Oh, do I hate that Linda. You guys all getting a vibe off of Linda like it's almost got a little serial killer in her, like a little Ted Bundy, a little rap.

1:13:12 Caller It's a little clangesty for me.

1:13:14 Drew It's like real dissociative thinking, like there's not a real linear progression to the thought.

1:13:20 Adam Yeah. There's almost an anger underneath that smile and that rap that she has. It's like the people you deal with behind the counter at the airport. They're saying one thing, but they're acting angry. I'd like to help you, sir. But you're going, wait a minute, you seem angry even though you're saying, you're calling me sir and you're saying that one of our representatives will be more than happy to escort you or whatever, but you're sounding angry at the same time.

1:13:49 Guest Yeah.

1:13:50 Adam She hung up, by the way. There's something going on. Did she get off that porch?

1:13:56 Guest No.

1:13:56 Drew No, she didn't get off that porch.

1:13:57 Adam No, I think she ran out onto the medium of the highway.

1:14:01 Guest Yeah, she went out onto the highway.

1:14:02 Adam Yeah. No man's going to tell her what to do. Not again. Something's up with her.

1:14:07 Guest Oh yeah.

1:14:08 Adam Something's up with guys and I could get to the bottom of her and her dad. That's where it is.

1:14:12 Drew Or maybe her and her mother. I mean, you never know.

1:14:14 Guest You never know. That's true.

1:14:15 Adam Never know with her. Yes, she's got a lot of stuff going on. All right.

1:14:18 Drew Adam's so full of hatred right now.

1:14:20 Guest And those dads are always picked up by those moms.

1:14:21 Adam But I hate everyone. That's the difference. Elaine?

1:14:24 Caller Yes.

1:14:25 Adam You're 20.

1:14:26 Caller Yes, I am.

1:14:26 Adam What's up?

1:14:27 Caller I was wondering how long the effects of an orgasm last.

1:14:31 Caller The effects?

1:14:32 Caller Yeah, I had sex last night.

1:14:33 Adam You should be able to get back to work in a couple of weeks, if that's what you're talking about.

1:14:36 Caller Well, no, because I had sex last night.

1:14:38 Adam Stay off that vagina for at least a couple of days. And then hot and cold compresses right through a sitzpath. What? What else?

1:14:47 Guest That's enough.

1:14:47 Adam A couple of aspirin.

1:14:48 Guest A couple of Tylenol.

1:14:49 Adam You should be fine.

1:14:50 Guest Are you still having sort of aftershocks? Is that what you mean?

1:14:52 Caller No. I mean, I'm just like, I've been super mellow and relaxed all day today.

1:14:58 Adam Fine.

1:14:59 Caller More so than usual.

1:15:01 Caller I was just wondering.

1:15:02 Guest Is there an emotional experience you went through? I mean, was there more of a connection with this person?

1:15:08 Caller I don't think so.

1:15:09 Caller Could have been.

1:15:11 Adam Well, who is this person?

1:15:13 Caller He's a friend of mine, a friend with benefits.

1:15:17 Adam I see. Have you had many boyfriends?

1:15:21 Caller Yeah.

1:15:22 Adam What's up? You don't want another one?

1:15:25 Caller No, I do.

1:15:25 Adam You do?

1:15:26 Caller But I don't think he wants to be mine, so. Yeah.

1:15:29 Adam But you like him, right?

1:15:31 Caller Yeah.

1:15:31 Adam And you like him more than he likes you that way?

1:15:34 Caller I think so.

1:15:35 Adam Right. So it's kind of a tough situation?

1:15:37 Caller Yeah.

1:15:38 Adam But he gave you a good orgasm, right?

1:15:40 Caller Yeah.

1:15:41 Adam All right. And you've had orgasms before, right?

1:15:44 Caller You know, I don't really think I have.

1:15:46 Guest Oh, well.

1:15:47 Adam Well, there you go.

1:15:47 Guest Okay.

1:15:48 Adam That's it. You'll get used to it eventually. It's like a hot tub. You climb in, it seems real hot at first, and then eventually it's all right. So that's what orgasm is like. Oh, okay. You'll have a whole bunch.

1:15:59 Guest She's 20. This one's been coming for a long time.

1:16:02 Adam Do you give them to yourself ever?

1:16:03 Caller No.

1:16:04 Caller Why not?

1:16:05 Caller Not into that really.

1:16:07 Adam I see. All right. Well, you are now. Game on.

1:16:11 Caller All right.

1:16:12 Adam All right. Have fun. Hey, soak it in. Enjoy it.

1:16:16 Caller All right.

1:16:16 Adam I wish I could be that greatly affected by an orgasm. All right, Elaine.

1:16:20 Caller All right, thanks.

1:16:21 Adam All right. It would be great to sit around sort of walking on air all day, basking in your own vaginal glow. You know, yeah, that'd be great. What would that take? Yeah. True doesn't masturbate or at least he doesn't admit to it. He thinks I'm insane because I'm good for once a day. And so so are all of my friends.

1:16:44 Guest And then you're good for once and you're actually engaging in twice a day.

1:16:49 Adam Well, I mean, come on, Drew, you know, I have a very active lifestyle. We're going to take ourselves a little break here. Michael Penn and Amy Mann are our guests tonight. We're going to promise we're going to hear something off of Amy Mann's new CD when we come back.

1:17:13 Guest We'll be right back.

1:17:39 Adam Yep, yep, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Duran Duran is going to be in here on Sunday night. Michael Penn and Amy Mann are both here tonight. Amy's next song we're going to hear from Amy's from the movie Magnolia which was by the way nominated for Oscar. The song was, I think, the Dan Phil Collins song won. I wanted to blame Canada from the, I don't know what I'm talking about. That was the Matt and Trey song from South Park. Kind of a good song. I didn't know you at the time, Amy, so I wasn't pulling for you.

1:18:16 Drew I would have been happy for blame Canada to win.

1:18:18 Adam Yeah. I know. Why it seems-

1:18:21 Drew Just something a little different, that's all?

1:18:23 Adam Yeah. Another Elton John or Phil Collins. It just feels so forgettable to me. It just feels like, I don't know. That stuff just seems like it gets all cranked out of the same machine. What is that? Phil Collins is one of these guys, by the way. There are certain artists, I believe, that are sort of screwed and cursed, if you will, and others that are blessed. I haven't gotten into this for a long time, but it's high time I did.

1:18:53 Guest I've never heard you say this.

1:18:54 Adam Well, no, I have. I've told you, for instance, like Hall and Oates, that song Maneater, for instance. How much Coke was dropped off at the program director's office before he started spinning that flaming turd? That is one of the worst songs ever created, that, whoa, whoa, here she comes. Watch out boys, she'll. If anyone doesn't think there was a problem with Paola and Coke in the radio industry in the early 80s, all you got to know is that Man Eater made it to number one. That song, to me, Hall and Oates don't exist anymore because of Man Eater, and Hall and Oates I was sort of on the fence about. Hall and Oates is one of these bands that people think are better than they actually are. They're sort of okay, but they're not that good, but I will hold Man Eater against them forever, and I believe that instead of just liking bands for their good songs, you should hold their bad songs against them. I don't care how much good stuff Hall and Oates has cranked out, but they also did Man Eater, and for that they should pay. That's the way I feel about Hall and Oates and that horrible flaming turd of a song known as Man Eater. And it did make it to number one, which goes to show you, like I said, how much coke is spread around and how stupid people are who listen to the radio, because then they requested it later on after it was played at Nausium, but it just becomes like, it's like a, listen, I can't get the Pete Ellis Dodge theme song out of my goddamn head, and that's the way people work, you play enough, whoa, whoa, here she come, and people just start robotically picking up the phone and requesting it, they don't even know what they're doing anymore, it becomes like a bad snack food that you can't get enough of, like you know when you eat a whole box of Nilla Wafers, and you stopped enjoying it at the fourth Nilla Wafers, but your hand keeps moving, that's what goes on with music sometimes, and Phil Collins is one of these guys, Phil Collins has a couple of good songs, a couple of good songs on his own, and a couple of good songs with Genesis, not all of them, there's 35 that they play on the radio, he has four that are good, I don't know where the other 31 came from, Huey Lewis, exact same thing, Huey Lewis and I got three good songs, maybe, but not 19, and I don't know why we have to be exposed to all of that, on the other hand, there are guys like John Hyatt who have millions of good songs and we get to hear one of them, how does that work? Obviously, it has to do with the Coke, in the industry, in the Paola, it has to do with something.

1:21:25 Drew That's it.

1:21:25 Adam It drives me insane and I know the masses are asses, they'll buy in anything and they would listen to something good and I know I'm kissing ass here, but I mean it, they'd listen to Michael Penn, they'd listen to Aimee Mann, they would gobble that up just like they gobbled up a man eater. They would gobble it up. High praise indeed. Thank you. Hey, you know what I'm saying though, if just play it and if you're going to just play something, just play something good.

1:21:52 Guest Something more nourishing.

1:21:54 Adam Yes, yes. It drives me insane. There's so many good artists and so many good bands out there and they don't get played and yet we have to hear another Elton John song. Like, I'm not going to go on with you like that. Ain't going to be no feather in your cab. I mean, Elton John has some great songs and he has some junk and all I want is the people that are pushing it and the people that are playing it to evaluate each and every song in its own merit. It's not Phil Collins came out with it. It's not Elton John came out with it. It's Elton's had some good ones. This one sucks. Let's not play it. That's what I wish. That's the world I wish we lived in. All right. I'm fired up, Drew, and I'm going to play this Aimee Mann song, all right? What do you say? It's called Save Me.

1:24:48 Caller The Suspect.

1:27:18 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. That is a little something from Aimee Mann off the Magnolia soundtrack. It was nominated by the way. Save Me. What's the title of that one? We'll hop back on the phones, take another phone call. Jennifer?

1:27:32 Caller Hello.

1:27:33 Adam You're 22?

1:27:34 Caller Yes.

1:27:34 Adam You can't have an orgasm during oral sex?

1:27:37 Caller No.

1:27:38 Adam Yeah. What about during regular sex?

1:27:41 Caller I have.

1:27:43 Adam You have? Your vagina may be on upside out.

1:27:48 Guest Inside out, please.

1:27:49 Adam It's inside out. That's right. It's been inverted because most our callers can have one during oral sex but not during intercourse.

1:27:56 Caller It's crazy. I can't deal with it. I love it.

1:27:59 Drew I love oral sex, but I just-

1:28:00 Guest All right.

1:28:01 Adam I think this is a better problem to have. Don't you guys?

1:28:06 Drew I don't really know what you mean by better problem.

1:28:08 Adam Well, here's what I mean.

1:28:11 Drew Oh, God. Why did I ask for a definition?

1:28:12 Adam Let me tell you something about this whole note. Here's what I mean. There's women who can't have an orgasm via intercourse, and for those women, especially if they've been around in a few years and they're getting a little bit older, it ain't going to happen at a certain point. I mean, they have it during oral sex, they don't have it during intercourse, and they're going to go to their grave that way.

1:28:37 Drew Well, that's grim, but I'll take your word for it. I'll take your word for it.

1:28:41 Adam Yeah, that's the way. They'll take that to the grave. They really will. But you show me someone who can have the orgasm during intercourse but not during oral sex, and I'll show you someone we could probably fix.

1:28:55 Drew Right. I think you're right. It's a better problem.

1:28:57 Adam The proper work, there's hope for her. This is not terminal.

1:29:01 Drew And also you're having an orgasm with your partner.

1:29:04 Adam Right.

1:29:04 Drew Yeah, you're having more of a shared experience. So that's kind of nice.

1:29:07 Adam You're having probably a more coveted orgasm, I would say out of the two. Yeah. So Jennifer?

1:29:16 Drew Yeah.

1:29:17 Adam All right. So are you with a good partner?

1:29:20 Caller Actually, I'm kind of in between.

1:29:22 Adam Oh, I see.

1:29:23 Caller I don't have a study boyfriend.

1:29:24 Adam All right. Well, listen, you find a good guy and he does the oral sex and hones his technique. No problems.

1:29:30 Drew Well, sometimes it's not technique. It's just you feel self-conscious and you, you know, I think that's partly what it is.

1:29:36 Caller I just can't relax because I stress about it too much. I think I think that I'm not going to be able to.

1:29:43 Caller So I don't.

1:29:43 Drew Right.

1:29:44 Adam Yeah.

1:29:44 Drew And if you're with somebody who is just, you know, if you're with somebody where the relationship is more about intimacy, that those those things kind of follow a little more naturally.

1:29:54 Caller Right.

1:29:54 Adam You'll be fine, Jennifer.

1:29:55 Drew I am putting Dr. Drew to sleep. No, no, no, no, no, no, napping.

1:29:59 Guest No, I was just thinking, that's exactly right. That's exactly right.

1:30:02 Adam There are women. You know what I was thinking? You know, we're talking about this last night, how women, you know, they they say, well, I got really close, but I couldn't have one. And then sometimes women do that thing where they're like, oh, no, no, no, it's not going to work. No, stop. You know, they're like right at the right at the cusp. And you talk to women that say like, oh, man, I was almost there, but it didn't happen. You know what that sort of reminds me of? It's like, be the equivalent of a guy going for number two with a couple of beers in it. Do you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? That feeling of like, I think I could get it. I think I can pull one off here. No, what I'm saying is, is when a guy enters sex, he's not going in going, oh, man, I keep my fingers crossed. I bet I can have an orgasm. Maybe not. I hope the mood's right. Geez, I'm a little stressed out from work. Geez, I don't know now. I did talk to my mother on the phone earlier this week. That may freak me out. I'm not sure. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. Guys don't enter a sexual experience that way. Guys like, I'm going to have an orgasm.

1:31:06 Drew There's more physical stimulation. There's just more of it.

1:31:09 Adam There's more territory. Right.

1:31:11 Drew You don't have to like, try to shift around and find a position that activates anything.

1:31:18 Adam Now, if I'm full, by the way, we've got like a big belly full of food, that'll do it. Yeah, that's a problem. So, what I'm saying is, is women though, they may hit that place. They may not hit that place. And I'm saying, I'm trying to think of something that's sort of analogous for guys. And I would say for guys, it's like when you're going for number two and you got a full belly or you got a couple of beers or, you know what I'm talking about? And there's that kind of feeling like.

1:31:43 Drew Drew's like, yes, because we don't really need it.

1:31:47 Adam Yeah. Well, I'm trying to get some of the men to identify with some of the women. That's all. I'm trying to bring the two sexes closer together.

1:31:55 Caller That's what I'm trying to do.

1:31:56 Adam I really appreciate that. You're a mediator. Yeah. I'm trying to build some bridges here, Drew. I'm not sure what you're trying to do on this show.

1:32:02 Guest Man, I already know you when you talk like that.

1:32:04 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Aimee Mann and Michael Penn are our guests tonight. Bachelor number two is the name of Aimee CD. MP4 is the name of Michael's CD. We recommend them both very highly, and we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Beth. There's 29. Beth?

1:33:10 Caller Hi.

1:33:11 Caller What's up?

1:33:12 Caller Well, I just went to my gynecologist today, and she says I have HVP.

1:33:18 Guest HPV.

1:33:19 Caller Yeah. HVP. Is that right?

1:33:22 Guest HPV.

1:33:23 Caller Okay, yeah.

1:33:23 Adam Human papilloma virus.

1:33:25 Guest Right.

1:33:25 Caller Yes. And I don't quite, I guess I don't quite understand how I got it, and she said it could be cancerous and took a biopsy and everything.

1:33:34 Guest No, no, no. It's warts, right?

1:33:36 Caller That's not what she said.

1:33:37 Guest Well, that's what it is. It's the virus that cause warts.

1:33:40 Caller Okay, because she told me that it might be cancerous and cervical cancer.

1:33:44 Guest And those wart viruses are what cause cervical cancer.

1:33:47 Caller Okay.

1:33:48 Drew So they cause cervical cancer?

1:33:50 Guest Yes, cause. Now, they're pretty well established. We don't know if it's the only cause, and certain subtypes of the wart virus don't cause it, but the wart virus is what causes significant percentages, if not all cervical cancers.

1:34:03 Adam So what's your question, Beth?

1:34:05 Caller That was my question is, what is it? How do you get it?

1:34:08 Guest You get it from sexual intercourse, and it's extraordinarily common. Most people your age have it.

1:34:16 Adam Well, not most.

1:34:17 Guest Most.

1:34:17 Adam Most 29-year-olds have it.

1:34:19 Guest Most.

1:34:20 Caller Not all?

1:34:21 Adam No. So what are the implications that there's going to be? Most means more than 50 percent.

1:34:24 Caller Most have the symptoms or most have the virus? The virus.

1:34:29 Drew But what kind of percentage does it become cancerous?

1:34:34 Guest Progressive?

1:34:35 Drew Yeah.

1:34:35 Guest I don't know that down at the top of my head. It's obviously not most of those. But cervical cancer, the precancerous changes of the cervix are very common also, and they're easily treated and prevented. All they do is they go and freeze off a little piece or whatever, they do some cryotherapy, and that's it. They'll take care of it, but just stay on top of it. Okay. Then in a certain percentage, and I'm not sure, I've not seen a data that predicts exactly what percentage, the virus goes away by itself and the risk tends to go away. It's the persistent infections that really carry the significant risk of cancer.

1:35:07 Drew Are there symptoms in men? The men that whoever you would catch it from?

1:35:11 Adam They get a wart on them.

1:35:13 Guest They typically get a wart, but often don't. Adam claims he doesn't have a wart, so we're gonna take out these instruments that help us detect the pre-wart skin lesions and prove that he has got the wart.

1:35:22 Adam I got a hundred bucks on my penis, and I rarely gamble on my own penis.

1:35:27 Drew To be wart free?

1:35:28 Adam Yes. Drew claims that a huge percentage of our society and certain age groups are living in urban centers, as he says, has this. More than 50%, he says, I tell him my penis is wart and virus free. He calls me a liar, and I say, you put your money where my penis is.

1:35:48 Guest Which I've done.

1:35:49 Adam Which you've done, and you bring in that black light, I'll dump the vinegar on my penis.

1:35:53 Guest We are in pursuit of the equipment.

1:35:55 Adam Bring it on. My penis has nothing to hide.

1:35:58 Drew How many times have you seen Adam's penis?

1:36:02 Adam Never.

1:36:02 Drew In the hundreds?

1:36:03 Adam I saw Drew's penis once at the airport in St. Louis. Yeah, it frightened me. Yeah. Ever since I saw his penis, I decided he can't see mine. That seemed like a bad plan. It's like, yeah, when you see someone toting around the Stanley Cup, you don't want to show them your participation trophy from a camp when you're 11, you know?

1:36:24 Drew I would think you'd have a very ready hand with your penis.

1:36:27 Guest So to speak.

1:36:27 Drew Sort of like Andy Dick, that it would always be on display.

1:36:32 Adam It's not something that I show around as much as Andy Dick, who, by the way-

1:36:37 Drew You've seen Andy Dick's penis, right?

1:36:38 Adam I certainly have, yes.

1:36:39 Drew So you know what I'm talking about. Rest your case.

1:36:42 Adam Yes, he showed me his penis on the TV show.

1:36:44 Caller I think the percentages are easily higher than the percentage of people who have viruses is those who have seen his penis.

1:36:50 Adam Yes, I'd say, well-

1:36:51 Guest If you've seen Andy.

1:36:52 Adam I've seen some data.

1:36:53 Drew If you've met Andy, you've met his penis.

1:36:55 Jesus Christ in heaven.

1:36:58 Adam Fifty-eight percent of people have the HPV virus and a whopping 72 percent of people living in urban and rural areas have seen Andy Dick's penis. All right. Yvonne?

1:37:10 Caller Yeah.

1:37:11 Adam You're 18.

1:37:12 Caller Yeah.

1:37:12 Adam But will they actually ever know Andy's penis like I do? I don't think so. I think they've seen it. A lot of people claim to see it, but they don't know it. What's up, Yvonne? Okay.

1:37:21 Caller Well, in my very first sexual deep relationship, and I've been having sex a lot, and my boyfriend talked to me into learning how to pleasure myself. So I stuck my finger out there, started moving around, you know, trying to find out what's going on up there, and I noticed that I had some space to move my finger around in. And I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to tighten that up.

1:37:56 Guest Well, Kegel exercises, but that's normal to have some space.

1:37:59 Adam Do you think you've loosened yourself up, like your vagina is made of clay or something?

1:38:03 Caller Well, I mean, I didn't have very much sex before.

1:38:07 Adam Is it true that God made women out of 100 pounds of clay, or how does that go?

1:38:10 Guest Yeah.

1:38:11 Adam So it would stand to logic that the vagina was also made out of clay, not 100 pounds, maybe 20 pounds? 20 pounds of clay? Yeah? Do you want to tighten yourself up down there? Yeah. Yeah. It's probably something you're worrying about needlessly.

1:38:27 Guest Yeah.

1:38:27 Adam Really?

1:38:28 Guest Absolutely. Yeah.

1:38:29 Adam Yeah. They do have these exercises, though. I think Suzanne Summers does them. I don't know why.

1:38:34 Guest It's basically the exercise. If you're trying to interrupt the flow of urine, those contracting those muscles.

1:38:39 Adam All right.

1:38:39 Caller If I try to interrupt the flow of urine?

1:38:41 Guest The muscles you would contract to do that.

1:38:43 Adam But do you actually urinate to do it?

1:38:44 Guest No. You don't have to urinate.

1:38:46 Drew You just squeeze up everything down there.

1:38:48 Adam Oh, wait a minute. I think I just did-

1:38:49 Guest Hold it for a 10 count, do that 10 times, and then do 10 quick contractions.

1:38:54 Adam So how does that go again there, Drew? Do you do 10 slow ones?

1:38:59 Guest Yeah.

1:38:59 Adam Like one, two?

1:39:01 Drew You do three sets, 10 reps and three sets.

1:39:04 Adam And then you increase the weight, right?

1:39:05 Guest Yeah.

1:39:06 Adam Okay. So you do one.

1:39:07 Caller All right.

1:39:07 Adam I think I did one.

1:39:08 Guest Hold it for a count of 10.

1:39:09 Caller Yeah.

1:39:11 Adam For a guy, what's it like? Is it like trying to pull your penis in? I think I did that. Do you know what I mean? You know what I'm talking about?

1:39:19 Drew Like a turtle in a turtle shell.

1:39:21 Guest How about lift it up?

1:39:22 Adam We're trying to lift it?

1:39:23 Guest Yes.

1:39:24 Adam Do you do it when the penis is erect?

1:39:26 Guest You can do it anytime. Driving a car, we're talking on the radio.

1:39:28 Drew I don't think you do it at all.

1:39:30 Adam No, I don't do it, but I think I just tried one there.

1:39:33 Guest No, actually, some people claim that there's more orgasm control.

1:39:37 Caller Oh, really? Yeah.

1:39:39 Adam All right. And the women can tighten themselves up a little bit. They work on that down there. It seems like one of those, you know, you hear those stories where Sting talks about banging his wife for nine hours on the beach or something, and you go, oh, stop it. You're just trying to make everyone jealous. Listen, we envy you already. Stop it with the...

1:39:58 Drew Where does he find the time?

1:40:00 Adam I don't know, and I sort of question people that spend too much time on those sort of topics. I know we talk about that all night for a living, but I mean, you know, you have... The whole reason you have sex is you can have the orgasm. Not so you can bang away for nine hours, so everyone's raw down there. Right, Drew?

1:40:20 Guest Right, Adam.

1:40:20 Adam That's right. You boom, have the orgasm, you pay the lady, and you're on your way. That's what I said.

1:40:25 Guest Boom.

1:40:32 Adam Loveline. We'll be right back. Hey, is my mic on? Yeah. We're just talking about during the commercial, that parents who stage moms get their kids into acting at three and stuff. And it's always the same answer. It was his idea. Yeah. He wanted to be an astronaut too. You didn't fly him down to Cape Canaveral, did you? Anyway, it's his idea to do everything. He wanted to eat a 40-pound block of ice cream. He wanted to be a pirate. He wanted to drop out of the second grade. He wanted to drive. Of course, three-year-olds, eight-year-olds, they all have ideas. He wanted to be a performer. That's good, mama. He'll be doing coke and no tea. Amy Mann's CD, Bachelor No. 2, is the one you must go out and purchase. Also, Michael Penn's CD, MP4 is another one to look for. You can look for Amy tomorrow night on the Tonight Show. Thanks for coming in, you guys.

1:41:52 Drew You're welcome.

1:41:53 Adam And don't take such a long layoff next time, because we enjoyed it. All right, until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:42:03 Guest You hit your nuts?

1:42:05 Adam Well, now.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, June 6, 2000