Episode 1000754887328

0:54 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:03 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

1:09 Adam Welcome to the Best of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is my partner, Dr. Drew. He's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Forget about the phone numbers, forget about the fax numbers. We are not here, but I'll tell you who is here. David Arquette.

1:23 Drew Well, kind of.

1:24 Adam Yes. He came by to talk about Scream 3 and Bust My Chops a little. Last time we saw David, I was calling him nuts on the radio and he came right in the studio about four minutes after I set it on the air. It was really one of the worst.

1:39 Drew Most surreal.

1:39 Adam Most surreal moments of my life. I never expected that in a thousand years.

1:44 Drew David's taking a bow for thanks. Thank you. It's a pleasure to have created that moment for you.

1:49 Adam It was pretty amazing. I mean, I think David was driving home from a Lakers game. He was listening to Loveline as well he should have. And he heard Drew saying some things about him. I tried to calm him down. No, I said, David is nuts.

2:04 But that's not the first time or the last time.

2:07 Adam But I said, always stay talented and nice too. Don't I, Drew?

2:13 Drew Yes.

2:13 I think there's something going on there. I think it's something deeper. I think, I don't know. What is it, Adam? What is it about me that intrigues you so much? What is it? I mean, not to point out the obvious, but you did do certain commercials that sort of emulate commercials that I've done.

2:31 Drew He at least followed in his footsteps.

2:32 Adam Yeah, that's right. Yes, yes. Oh my God.

2:34 Drew Were you hoping to meet him at the set of a commercial or something?

2:37 Adam I was hoping they would pair us up together. I have to do like two or three more of those at the end of this week, which will be six for me. But David, how many of those have you done all total?

2:51 Geez, I've done like 13 actually. Really?

2:54 Adam And how many have aired? Of all 13 of them aired?

2:56 No, there's two that are sitting, that are going to come out soon.

3:00 Adam Oh my God. I'll tell you, what a racket. I'll tell you, off the air, I'm going to figure out how much David is getting paid for those things. And then, Drew, I want you to be ready with a nitroglycerin tablet in the paddles. Okay? And I want you to have my manager on the phone when he gives me that price. So David is here because, well, because he likes to stop by and bust my balls.

3:25 Yeah, I'm here to fight. We're going to like throw down.

3:28 Adam David is also, in between Kick of My Ass, is going to talk a little about Scream 3. And the train just keeps on rolling with that Scream trilogy.

3:40 Yeah. This is the last stop.

3:42 Drew Oh, is it?

3:43 Adam It is.

3:43 Yeah, for us. I mean, they're going to own the name and the franchise. So they might do other things without sort of the original people involved. But I know as far as me and Nev and Courtney and Wes go, I pretty much think that's the end for us, except, you know, down the road when we're like broke and, you know, why don't we just make another one? Yeah, there's always the possibility that like, you know, reunion is, is it?

4:11 Adam Are you contractually obliged to do these three? I mean, why do three? Why did everyone do three? Everyone's got money, everyone's successful, everyone's going ahead with their career. And if you, and if so, then why not four?

4:23 Well, it was sort of hard to, not hard to do. I mean, God, it's a, you know, an honor to be able to be a part of something like that. But, you know, it kind of, there's an element of feeling like you're a sellout and kind of like, you know, you don't really have to do it. You know, there's, I don't know, you know, kind of just.

4:43 Drew Three is enough.

4:44 Yeah, three is enough.

4:45 Adam And what's it like working with your wife? Because.

4:48 That's the best part.

4:49 Adam Is it?

4:50 Yeah, it really is for me. That's what I enjoy the most. I mean, in this business, you don't really get to, you know, a lot of people don't even get to see their siblings. So, or I mean.

5:00 Drew Spouse.

5:00 Spouse.

5:01 Adam Did you, you don't get to see your siblings much either.

5:04 Yeah, I'd like to work with them.

5:05 Drew Did you meet on that set?

5:07 We met on the first one, yeah.

5:09 Adam And, and so you, let's see, so you finished, or let's say, when were you working on Scream 3?

5:15 How long ago? Shoot, summertime, like toward the end of the summertime.

5:20 Adam And you guys got married, how long ago?

5:23 We got married right before it.

5:25 Adam So it's like, you got married, and you got to do a movie together. Which is, which is the best time, by the way, because you don't want to get married, have five years go by, and then do a movie together, because that's trouble.

5:36 Drew Then you're like the grandparents on The Simpsons.

5:38 Adam Yeah, you'll be going at it.

5:40 We actually got to do a movie right before, called The Shrink is In, which, so we were able to work right before and right after. It was pretty great.

5:48 Adam And you want to do more of that?

5:49 Yeah, we were, I enjoy it like more than anything. It's just so great to, to work with her as a peer, and like, you know, see other sides of her, and see her talent, and just, you know, have fun, and act, and you know, it's such an honor to be able to act in general, and to do it for a career, you know, and then to be able to do it with your loved one, it's just great, you know, it's sort of everything I hope.

6:13 Adam Yeah, that's what you should be saying during interviews, when you talk about this show.

6:18 Drew No, I would have pleasure to be dealing with you.

6:20 Adam That's right.

6:21 Drew I do talk about how grateful I am to do the work I do, and you don't hear that that much in this business.

6:27 Adam No, you don't.

6:28 Drew David was one of the first people I heard real gratitude come out of.

6:31 Adam It is true.

6:32 Drew I'm not from you.

6:33 Adam No, I'm bitter. I've been in this business for 10 minutes. I'm already pissed off. But what about your sisters? I mean, have you done a movie with them?

6:43 No, I mean, I'd love to. It's just sort of, I've worked with my brother, Richmond Arquette, a lot. And I've worked with my father, Louis Arquette, a lot.

6:52 Adam And is there any, has anyone ever approached you with scripts where it's like, we'll do the whole Arquette family?

6:59 No, everyone sort of mentions it in interviews and stuff, but we just haven't sort of really done it.

7:03 Drew Every interview, Adam.

7:04 Adam Oh, right, all right.

7:05 No, not every.

7:06 Adam Listen, I ain't never, you know, here's quite frankly the problem with interviewing. And I'm horrible at it, I really am. But you're gonna hear the same questions over and over again, because you do Scream 3, and every interview you do, they're gonna say, are you gonna do Scream 4, or why not Scream 4, or what about working with Roseanne? You know, I know I feel like an idiot, but it's like, it's that question like when a band comes in here with a funky name. You gotta say, where did you guys get the name, but the band is pissed off because they answer it every single night. But on the other hand, you never asked it to them, and you're dropping the ball if you don't ask them.

7:44 No, you're doing great.

7:45 Adam Thank you.

7:46 Just keep it up. Don't abandon us, Loveline seekers.

7:50 Adam All right, well, we're gonna hop on the phones here, and I'll abandon the interview for at least this long. Charles, you're 25. What's up?

8:02 Caller Well, my wife kind of lost her sex drive, and she's had a baby. She's had it in August. And then I got to not only fight with her, just to keep nagging all the time for sex and stuff.

8:15 Drew Has she been depressed?

8:17 Yes.

8:18 Drew So she's also depressed? Is she depressed?

8:21 Yes, she is.

8:22 Caller She says she is depressed, but she says she is content with her life. I mean, she's happy. She loves me.

8:27 Drew Is she being treated for a depression?

8:28 Caller No, she is not.

8:29 Drew Okay, the biological changes that women go through after a baby can sometimes precipitate severe depressions. It's called a postpartum depression.

8:36 Caller Okay.

8:36 Drew And they can be quite serious and dangerous.

8:38 Adam How long ago did she have the kid?

8:40 Drew Eight months. Oh.

8:41 Adam In August, okay.

8:42 Drew And so it is maybe part of the depression. It may be just the sort of normal hormonal changes that go on after a baby. It's very common for women to have diminished sex drive for a couple of years sometimes. Well, certainly the first year after baby.

8:55 Adam And how about, Drew, that's why, oh, your wife had the triplets.

9:00 Drew It was shut down.

9:01 Adam Yeah. Drew just had to go back door for like, well, it's been a couple of years now, right?

9:06 Drew No, actually somebody put her on a triphasic pill which sort of restored her chemistry back to normal and everything was back to normal again.

9:14 Adam Good, because the nanny was getting sore. Charles?

9:18 Caller What about the triphasic pill for?

9:20 Drew For her, that's one thing to start with, is try to talk to the gynecologist, the obstetrician about maybe getting around something that could bring her chemistry around. And the other is to make sure that you talk to this doctor about the possibility of a real depression. And if they treat her for depression, make sure they don't use the serotonin reuptake inhibitors, at least not the usual ones, because they can make the sex drive problems worse.

9:40 Caller Okay.

9:41 Adam All right, Charles. How often are you getting sex?

9:45 Caller Well, it's been like maybe once a month.

9:47 Adam Yeah.

9:48 Caller But every time I ask, she gets aggravated. She's like, she said it puts her out of the mood when I ask for it.

9:52 Drew Yeah. For women, women are really sensitive to the biology. If they are not sort of biologically prone, they are not receptive and it all is just sort of weird and yucky. Just like, oh, you're gross.

10:02 Caller And because I don't see her very much because I work second and she works first. The one time I get to see her is at night.

10:07 Drew And there's the stress of having a child and whatnot that comes to bear.

10:10 Caller Yeah. Try a little romance too. I mean, just for to keep your love alive.

10:15 Adam Yeah. Maybe you guys should shoot a movie together.

10:17 Caller Or something.

10:18 Adam No, I mean, you do.

10:19 Caller Writer of Poem.

10:20 Adam You cannot muscle your way in with a woman.

10:24 Drew No.

10:25 Adam You really can't. You have to sort of play by their rules.

10:29 Drew Do not assume what you would want is what they would want.

10:31 Adam And if they're telling you, hey, it ain't working when you ask nice or whatever, now you got to go to the well. I mean, you got to light the candles. You got to leave the trail of rose petals to the bathtub. You got to buy the candy, the jewelry.

10:45 Drew I'm proud.

10:45 Adam And then it's raping time. Jill?

10:51 Yeah?

10:51 Adam You're 17.

10:52 Caller Yeah. I want to know why my, I can't get guys my age. I go out with 25-year-olds.

11:00 Drew Why do you go out? Why do you allow 25-year-olds to take you out?

11:04 Caller Well, because, I don't know, they're like, I don't know, I like them. They look old.

11:09 Drew So it's not about.

11:11 Adam You like them.

11:12 Drew You seek them.

11:13 Caller Yeah.

11:14 Adam All right.

11:14 Drew Well, you seek them out. That's why you go out with them.

11:16 Adam With who you want to go out with?

11:17 Caller I want to go out with the guys my age because everyone thinks I'm like, you know, weird.

11:21 Drew Well, you should go out with guys your own age. Guys that are that much older can have a, the ones that would go out with you, we have a problem with.

11:28 Adam But the question is, is not why aren't guys your own age attracted to you. It's why are you attracted to guys who are seven, eight years older than you?

11:36 Caller That's just the only guys I can get. No, that's like I can't, I like seven, like 17 year old guys like in my class, they won't go out with me. They just won't.

11:46 Adam What do you mean they won't? You're attractive, right?

11:49 Caller Yeah.

11:50 Adam Yeah, so they'll go out with you.

11:52 No, but they won't.

11:53 Adam How do you know? Have you asked anyone out?

11:55 Caller I've asked people, like my friends and stuff and they were like no, and I don't know.

12:01 Adam Why do you think they're not attracted to you and 25 year olds are?

12:05 Caller Well, I don't know. They're just like 25 year olds, and they talk to me and stuff and I get along with them better.

12:13 Caller All right.

12:13 Adam Well, you get along with them better. Listen, why don't you compromise and go out with like a 19 year old?

12:18 Caller They won't go out with me either.

12:21 Adam Listen, believe me, anybody will go out with you.

12:24 Caller Yeah, I know. You should kind of a little bit get off your high horse and kind of try to like get back down to the seventh grade mentality.

12:32 Drew 25 year old is a little 17 year old. 25 year old is a little better at sussing out a victim probably.

12:37 Adam Yeah.

12:38 Drew So they're probably putting on a better face to get where they need to go.

12:40 Adam Yeah, but don't do so much externalizing. You're not going out with people your own age because you don't want to go out with people your own age. And that's, believe me, you'll get what you want with the dating eventually.

12:53 Drew That's true in life in general really.

12:55 Adam Yes, Rob. I mean, wherever you are.

12:57 Drew Wherever you are.

12:58 Adam It's not that you like being there, but it's where you put yourself and where you're going to be unless you do something about it and there's a reason. And it's all about you, Rob.

13:07 Caller Yes.

13:08 Adam You're 28.

13:09 Caller Yes.

13:09 Adam What's up?

13:11 Caller I guess, well, first of all, you guys have a great show.

13:14 Adam Thanks.

13:15 Caller A lot of good things for a lot of people. I wish I had this show when I was a teenager. I have a problem, the easiest way that I can think of...

13:24 Drew Where do you live, Rob?

13:25 Caller Excuse me?

13:26 Drew Where do you live?

13:27 Caller In Chicago.

13:28 Drew Why? If you live in Los Angeles, you did have this show.

13:31 Adam Oh, you did have the show as a teenager. That's right. Drew, seriously, how long have you been doing the show in Los Angeles?

13:37 Drew 16 years.

13:38 Adam 16 years. All right, so you would have been 12, Rob.

13:42 Caller All right, so I don't have an excuse.

13:44 Adam No, but you lived in Chicago, so. Right. Okay, so what's up?

13:48 Caller The easiest way I can think of how to put this is like, when guys jump into a cold pool, they're nuts, just suck up.

13:55 Adam Right.

13:56 Caller And I have that a lot. And I think, I want to ask, you know, I had a medulla blastoma.

14:05 Drew Wow.

14:06 Caller Yeah. And so I had radiation right to my head. Yeah. I don't have any hair.

14:11 Drew Right.

14:11 Caller I'm wondering, you know, people say that you don't have any hair, the heat escapes out of your head. I'm always pretty much cold.

14:18 Adam Interesting.

14:19 Drew So your testes are trying to keep warm.

14:20 Adam Now, do your testes go up in you or does the skin just thicken up so it looks like a cat's brain?

14:27 Caller Yeah.

14:27 Yeah.

14:28 A coral.

14:29 Adam It looks like a coral.

14:31 A walnut.

14:32 Adam Right.

14:32 Right. Exactly. Exactly.

14:34 Adam But they don't go up in you. They just get that thickened look. Right. What is that? Does it thicken? How does that happen? It's contract.

14:43 Drew It constricts.

14:44 Adam Yeah, I know. But how does the skin on your test...

14:47 Drew It's not the skin. It's a dartose tunic.

14:49 Adam Okay. But listen, on a hot day, my nuts, they'll drag on the ground on a hot day.

14:56 Drew I've seen that.

14:56 Adam You've seen it, right? Right. I mean, they'll hang down past my knee on a good hot day. But then on a good cold day, I mean, that skin will be three inches thick all the way around.

15:08 Drew What's been hanging down below has got to come on up.

15:10 Adam Yeah. But it's as if the skin got thicker.

15:14 Drew Yeah. Well, that's basically how it it's the dartos tunic really. It just pulls in.

15:18 Adam Okay. It's there's no other part of your body. I mean, your cheeks never do that. Your nostrils never do that.

15:23 Drew The dartos tunic does kind of thicken up. It does.

15:26 Adam I'm just saying, no, there's no other part of your body that has any kind of change that way. Maybe a little goose bumps or something, but it doesn't change its thickness.

15:35 Drew Did you get any chemotherapy? Yes. What did you get?

15:40 Caller I forget the name of it, but the first round of it was pretty intense.

15:45 Drew Was it like cyclophosphamide, something like that?

15:47 Caller Vencristein.

15:48 Drew Okay. Yeah, that's one of them.

15:50 Adam What do you have? A brain tumor?

15:52 Caller Yeah.

15:53 Adam Oh, boy. Is your hair ever going to come back?

15:56 Caller I doubt it.

15:57 Adam How long ago was it?

15:59 Caller About five and a half years ago.

16:00 Drew That's great, though. That's great. You're doing so well. But I bet, have you had a sperm count down or anything like that?

16:07 Caller Yeah, I did. And actually, I don't know. They didn't read it right. But I had a pretty large, I guess, sperm count.

16:14 Drew I wonder if something has changed in your testicular sort of makeup, let's say. Maybe they've shrunk or testosterone is down or something as a result of the chemo has changed the actual organ function.

16:25 Adam Why don't you put a beanie on and see if your NAD's drawn?

16:28 Drew I bet you it's more along those lines. Because some of that chemo does affect the gonia.

16:32 Adam Yeah, but it's not heat escaping from your head.

16:35 Drew No.

16:35 Adam That's half the guys walking around out there bald now.

16:38 Drew Think about how kids, when you were a young boy, how sort of up there things were all the time.

16:43 Adam Yeah.

16:43 Drew That's before the testes sort of fully develops.

16:46 Adam Yeah.

16:46 Drew So if you're shrinking it back down with the chemo.

16:49 Adam Right. Does chemo shrink it up?

16:51 Drew It can.

16:52 Adam Oh, man. One more reason not to get cancer, buddy. Michael?

16:56 Yes.

16:57 Adam You're 25.

16:58 Caller That's right.

16:59 Adam What's up?

17:01 Caller Well, I've been having these dreams where I was telling the phone screener, it's like not anybody that I necessarily know, but where I'm like having sex. It's not like a sexual dream where I'm necessarily like wake up and I'm aroused, but it's just like an event that's happening in the dream and I'm observing it. But it's another guy and I'm not gay, at least I don't think I'm gay.

17:29 Adam What's the other guy doing? Is he doing something to you or are you just watching him?

17:32 Caller I'm doing something to him. I'm like the perpetrator.

17:37 Drew These are frequently you have these dreams or just one time you had?

17:40 Caller They've only been like two or three, but they've been in succession and recently.

17:46 Adam What are you doing?

17:48 Caller Well, I'm having sex with him. I'm doing him.

17:53 Drew From behind.

17:54 Adam From behind.

17:56 Caller There you go.

17:57 Adam Wow. See, I'd wake up. I would.

18:01 Drew It's like the dream when you die or something. You wake up just before you die.

18:04 Adam Yeah. You fall off a building and you land. Yeah. When something gets too weird, I wake up. That's my theory, by the way, behind my dreams. I have very pedestrian dreams. I have dreams. I go down to the fridge. I'm out of something. That's like a dream of mine. I realized that if I had grandiose dreams, I would wake up. If I was nailing a supermodel, I would wake up. If I was conquering a country, I would wake up.

18:29 Drew Just absolutely too over-the-top weird.

18:31 Adam If I was scoring the winning touchdown in a Super Bowl, I would wake up because I would know something was wrong.

18:38 Drew It would be disturbing to you.

18:39 Caller Well, I don't know. Wake it up.

18:41 Adam Well, that's bad.

18:42 Drew Michael, I don't know if that means anything. Your relationships are going okay?

18:47 Caller My relationships? I have a girlfriend, but I have in the past, and they were pretty normal and things like that then.

18:56 Drew I just, it's whatever.

18:57 Adam Yeah, don't read too much into it.

18:59 Drew I just, yeah.

19:00 Caller Yeah.

19:01 Drew I guess just having them like, To have, believe it or not, I know guys don't like hearing this, but that it is, pretty much all men have some same-sex attractions. And so really you could look at this as a very healthy thing. It's just some sort of expression of something that's just part of you. It's not your primary orientation. It's just that's something that came and went. That's all there's to it. All right.

19:23 Caller I'll look on the bright.

19:25 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Try to think of it as sort of, maybe it's some sort of metaphor for moving up in the workplace or something. Yeah.

19:33 Drew Usually, at various stages of development, men tend to have these kinds of feelings and maybe it's some throwback to something he had.

19:39 Caller Well, let's just say maybe you want to go to Ecuador or something. I don't know. Let's not go there.

19:45 Adam I've had dreams where women got undressed and had a penis. I've had that one before. Oh, yeah.

19:53 Caller Oh, you didn't wake up then, did you?

19:56 Adam Oh, no. No, I was outraged. I wanted my money back.

19:59 Drew What did they do something with it?

20:01 Adam With the penis?

20:02 Drew The magic phallus, yes.

20:03 Adam They broke it off and hit me over the head with it.

20:05 Drew Surprise.

20:05 Caller Hey, go get a dream book. The guy should go get a dream book and just see what about something. I don't know.

20:11 Drew The next dream is your mom and grandma hitting you over the head with testicles?

20:15 Adam That was not my mother and grandmother just because it was in my grandmother's pool. Just because there were haunchy women, one middle-aged, one slightly older, and I was being beaten with my own testicles, does not mean it was my mother and grandmother. Could have been any two women in my grandmother's backyard that fit the description of my mother and my grandmother. Okay, Drew, wise ass.

20:37 Drew But this prostitute with the penis, very interesting.

20:39 Caller Yeah, maybe that means you're going to win some award or something, some Golden Mike.

20:44 Adam I've had that a couple of times. I really have. Yeah. It's never arousing to me. I don't want to follow it up. I'm disappointed.

20:52 Caller But it's not me, is it Adam? I'm not the girl with the penis, am I?

20:57 Adam No. But I'll tell you, if I went gay, I think you'd get the first call. Britta?

21:05 Caller Hi.

21:06 Adam You're 17.

21:07 Caller Yeah. I have a question about cuddling.

21:10 Just like guys in general, I was wondering what their viewpoint is on it because I know with girls, it's like, oh, he likes me, he cares about me. But I'm wondering if girls, I mean if guys, if they just do it to get some later on.

21:24 Drew Yes.

21:25 Adam Well, wait a minute because usually the cuddling comes after the sex and they already got some. So it's not necessarily an investment.

21:32 Drew She's 17.

21:33 Just like when you're first, when you're first dating and-

21:35 Drew No, I think that at your age guys are into any kind of arousal and touching and it's just, it's a new and interesting and fun thing for them too.

21:42 They're what?

21:43 Drew It's a new and interesting and fun thing for them too.

21:45 Adam The novelty wears off about 19. But no, it depends what point you're at in the relationship. I think if you sleep with somebody, and I mean not only have sex but sleep with them, there's going to be a decent amount of cuddling in the beginning of the relationship. As the relationship wears on, you get those Ricky and Lucy beds. You sleep on that side of the room, I sleep on this side of the room. But I mean, certainly at the beginning, there's a ton of that going on. Guys aren't opposed to it, and especially if it means that they're doing the groundwork for their next sexual encounter with you. Are you having sex, Britta?

22:26 Caller No.

22:26 Adam You're not?

22:27 Caller No. I'm just starting in a relationship.

22:29 Caller All right.

22:31 Caller Take it slow with the cuddling maybe.

22:33 Adam Yeah.

22:33 Caller You know what I mean?

22:33 Adam Is the guy cuddling?

22:36 Caller Yeah.

22:36 But I think he's just doing it because he thinks he needs to get to another base.

22:44 Adam Well, hold on. Let me yell at you women for a second. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't with women a lot of the times. If you don't do what they want you to do, you're screwed obviously. If you do do what you want them to do, they think you're just doing it because you're trying to get something else out of them.

23:00 Drew You gotta do it with feeling. See, that's missing here.

23:03 Adam So you should cuddle with gusto?

23:05 Drew Yeah.

23:06 Adam Oh, I mean, give the guy credit if he's doing it for doing it. But before a guy has sex, there'll be all kinds of stuff going on that will not go on after sex. Such as the massage. Lots of massage is given out before sex. You guys remember all those, it's usually, it's not the first date, because it's a little fast for the first date. Usually somewhere around date three, date four, I bet you go for a little back rub. And then you get tangled up in the bra. You know, it's a half inch of material going across their back, but you can't negotiate it somehow. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, you get a ring caught in it, you get your fingers caught in it, you get your foot caught in it, and then you go, listen, can we just unsnap the bra? I just, I can't negotiate it. When it's really, it's equivalent, it's not much. You could work over it, you could work under it, you could work below it, but you're not going to. Just undo the bra, and you get the bra up, you get the sweater pulled up, you start with the massage, you see how that goes, and then you start with the reach around. But there's all, all that goes down before sex. I would love to see some sort of chart on couples. How many massages went down before the guy started getting into her pants consistently and after?

24:22 Drew Imagine you're an anthropologist examining the human primate. You've never seen the animal before, and you're describing their mating behaviors.

24:29 Adam Tons of massaging before the sex.

24:32 Drew The male comes from behind, a strange ritual ensues with a plastic band across the woman's back. The male begins touching his palms against the woman's back. Somewhere in the vicinity of 15 to 20 minutes, he tires of this.

24:45 Adam You know, when I'm in charge, too, by the way, one thing I will go for, I will institute, is the universal placement of the bra cusp. You know, the hasp there. Some are in the front, some are in the back. You don't know where you're at. I'm going to have them all on the side. We're just going to compromise. Under the left arm. Or, ah, right side. Most guys are right-handed. And with some sort of quick release mechanism.

25:11 Drew Yeah, just a little remote control. Yeah, because... A rip cord. A television remote.

25:14 Adam Yeah, there are as many different way bra attachments as there are bras. There's the hook, there's the triple hook, the double hook, there's that weird S thing. That S thing. That S thing I couldn't undo with a blowtorch and a pair of pliers. I can't figure... You have to like get a little slack and then pop. No, no, not that hook, not the hook S thing. The weird plastic snap S thing where you kind of have to go this way and then turn and there's some kind of pop. I usually just chew through it. That's my technique.

25:47 Caller I like to pull it back and snap it.

25:49 Adam Yeah.

25:50 Caller Like a suspenders.

25:51 Adam Send a little, get a little blood pumping around the ladies. All right, David Arquette is here. We're going to take a little break. This is the Best of Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew. Cisco came by, and Cisco also very friendly. You remember Cisco?

26:44 Drew Was I here?

26:44 Adam Oh, maybe you weren't. Well, that's how you know it was the best of. Drew wasn't here. Cisco, you know, he does that thong back stuff.

26:52 Drew Right.

26:52 Adam He got me hip to some of the lingo that was going on in the hood.

26:57 Caller And the heezy for sheezy, that's another saying you guys might want to slip into your.

27:01 Adam Heezy for sheezy, that means transvestite.

27:04 Caller No, it means you're in the house for sure. In the heezy for sheezy.

27:10 Adam I'm in the heezy for sheezy?

27:12 Caller Yeah, we're all right now we're all in the heezy for sheezy.

27:15 Drew And Adam got the charge.

27:16 Adam You sure that means I'm not banging a transvestite?

27:19 Caller No.

27:20 Adam Heezy for sheezy? That sounds.

27:25 Caller Man, I'm sorry. It's just funny.

27:26 Adam Let me tell you another difference between the blacks and the Jews.

27:29 Caller Yeah, I like to hear this.

27:30 Adam Come on. The Jews, they got slang that's two million years old. The blacks change it every other week.

27:36 Caller Every other week.

27:37 Adam So that the white man can't figure it out. We're just getting, I'm just getting hip to like what it is.

27:45 Caller Wow.

27:47 I never said that.

27:48 Adam I know, but see, I'm getting hip to the stuff that was going down in the 70s.

27:51 Caller See, I'm 22 now.

27:52 Caller Exactly. What it is is like, that's like my dad and he's like 53.

27:56 Adam I just found out what dino might meant just last week. It turns out it's a good thing, Drew.

28:03 Caller That's even brilliant.

28:04 Man.

28:05 Adam And by the time Whitey figures out what's going on, they've changed it five different times. Heasy for sheasy. Just the time I figured out what the crib is, now it's the heasy for sheasy.

28:20 Yeah, the crib.

28:21 Caller Oh, okay, because at first we were in the house.

28:23 Adam In the house.

28:24 Caller And then we were chilling in the crib.

28:26 Adam Chilling in the crib.

28:27 Caller And now we're in the heasy for sheasy.

28:28 Drew I'm just keeping it real.

28:29 Caller I just got to keep, yeah, we just got to keep it real, you know, keep you up on the slang.

28:33 Adam In the house, that makes sense. The crib, that makes sense. But the heasy for sheasy.

28:38 Caller Heasy for sheasy. And that's actually, that's the LA slang. Because it's like different slangs all over the world. So anyway.

28:45 Adam What does that mean? I mean, no, but what's the origin of it? What's heasy? A crib is a place you sleep and a house is a place you live.

28:53 Caller Heasy is like, it's house. Instead of saying you're in a house, you say you're in the, I'm in the heasy.

28:59 Adam Well, there was the, his house, right? Is that his house?

29:08 Caller No, heasy is just.

29:09 Adam His house?

29:11 Caller He's, no, they just, I don't even know where it came from.

29:14 Adam They'd go like, they'd go like, like they're announcing, they'd go like, Cisco in his, in his house. In his house.

29:20 Caller Oh, in the house.

29:21 Adam In the house, it's his house.

29:22 Caller Oh, okay, okay.

29:23 Caller And it's his house? No, it's just in the house, in, in the DA house.

29:28 Adam In the his house.

29:29 Caller In the house. You take the his out and it's just in the house.

29:33 Oh, in the his house.

29:34 Yeah.

29:36 Caller Come on, who's black here?

29:38 Jesus Christ.

29:40 I just said, you know what, that was, that was two years ago, man.

29:45 Caller Like you said, it changes every so.

29:47 Adam I shouldn't have to tell you about his house.

29:49 Yeah, I forgot.

29:50 Caller I'm sorry, because now it's the heezy for sheezy.

29:52 Huh?

29:54 Adam Heidi for shyzy? You're 27.

29:57 Caller Yeah.

29:58 Adam Welcome to his house.

30:02 Caller I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

30:04 Caller Okay, back in.

30:06 All right.

30:07 Adam What's the word up?

30:09 Caller It's all about you, babe.

30:10 Adam That's right. It's about the cheddar.

30:16 Caller That's money.

30:17 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She has a question.

30:18 Caller I'm sorry.

30:19 Adam But I'm telling you, it's all about the cheddar, right, Drew?

30:21 It's all about the cheddar.

30:23 Caller The cheddar's still in.

30:24 Okay.

30:24 Adam Show me the cheddar. That's what I say. All right, Heidi, what's up?

30:28 Well, seven years ago, after I had my son, my belly button started leaking fluid. And it's still doing that.

30:36 Drew Wow, interesting. So it's some sort of what we call fistula. It may, I wonder, do you have any medical problems?

30:42 What do you mean?

30:43 Drew I don't know. Do you have any medical problems?

30:45 Adam Let's do a little reenactment on that one. Hold on, Drew. Yeah, my belly's leaking.

30:51 Drew So do you have any medical problems?

30:53 Adam What do you mean? When a doctor asks you if you have any medical problems, that's your then chance to either volunteer whatever medical problems you may have or say that you don't have any.

31:08 Drew I know, yeah.

31:09 Oh, I'm sorry.

31:11 Caller I didn't mean to laugh.

31:12 Adam Let's try it again. You have any medical problems?

31:16 Drew Well, have your doctors been aware of this leakage?

31:19 Yeah. When he did a tubal ligation, he cut around my belly button and flipped it inside out to see if there was any like a tear or anything like that. He said that he didn't find anything.

31:32 Drew Or sometimes little fluid collections can develop in their little cysts and seromas and things.

31:38 Adam They do the tubal ligation through the belly button?

31:41 Drew Nearby, basically.

31:42 Adam Why do they flip the belly button?

31:44 Drew He flipped it inside out to try to find the hole. Find where the leakage is coming from or see what's going on in there.

31:48 He said he didn't find anything and while it's still leaking, fluid still.

31:53 Adam How much comes out of there?

31:55 I don't know. I didn't measure it.

31:57 Adam All right. Listen here, Sassy, Malassi and his house.

32:00 Drew Is it like Sawyer clothes regularly?

32:02 No. Okay.

32:04 Drew Maybe sometime.

32:04 If it gets really infected, then like my pants or something will get wet around that area.

32:13 Drew You don't have a piercing there or anything like that?

32:15 Caller I was just about there.

32:17 Drew This is very similar to something called a pilonidal cyst, which is basically an infected little closed off area that they need to repair or she needs to take some antibiotics until it stops. Sometimes there's some topical things they can use in cleansing agents and things. She needs to talk to a surgeon about it.

32:31 Adam Until then, she can just spread some kitty litter or something out on it.

32:35 Drew I take a syringe, like squirt peroxide in there and just try to help it clean it out, keep it dry.

32:39 Adam You don't have to squirt it in, just put the bottle on and tilt it back.

32:43 Drew The problem with these things, they're usually deep inside.

32:45 Caller Excuse me, Dr. Drew, has anybody ever asked you a question that you haven't been able to answer? Because I'm sitting there like, you're talking about flipping belly buttons and dripping and things. You knew what was going on.

32:55 Drew In medical training, you see everything.

32:57 Adam Drew is clearly right.

32:59 Drew There's stuff I don't know the answers to, but I know what it is and how to refer it.

33:03 Adam Wow.

33:04 Caller I'm sorry, I'm fascinated.

33:05 Adam He knows our stone listeners are going to call him on it if he gets the wrong answer anyway. Katie?

33:11 Yeah.

33:11 Adam You're 18?

33:12 Caller Yeah.

33:12 Adam What's up?

33:13 I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller.

33:15 Caller Great.

33:16 Adam, I totally love you.

33:17 Adam All right.

33:18 I totally get into the farting humor.

33:21 Drew Katie, you're scaring me.

33:22 The other night when you were those two collars dueling, like my dad came in and told me to be quiet because I was laughing so loud.

33:29 Caller I've been holding my laugh in a few times when people were saying intimate things, so I can relate to what you're going through.

33:35 Adam We had guys calling the other night who could fart on demand by sucking air in and then shooting it back out.

33:41 Caller Oh, my gracious.

33:42 Adam That's right.

33:44 Caller It was unacceptable.

33:45 It was hilarious. It never gets old.

33:48 Adam Party for Farty, they call that in his house.

33:55 Well, my problem is my mom found out that me and my boyfriend were having sex.

33:58 Adam Cisco's drunk. I think he is.

33:59 Oh, I don't drink.

34:01 Adam Oh, man.

34:01 Caller Oh, my goodness.

34:03 Adam What happened to you?

34:05 My mom found out that my boyfriend and I were having sex, and she freaked out.

34:09 Drew How did she find out?

34:10 I took the morning after pill, and I had the rest of the ovarian left.

34:16 Drew Overall?

34:17 Yeah.

34:17 Drew Yeah.

34:18 And I left it in my backpack.

34:20 Drew Oh, boy.

34:21 And she opened my backpack.

34:23 Oh, boy.

34:24 And so she's-

34:25 Drew Mental notes, never-looking-kids materials.

34:27 Yeah.

34:28 Adam That's right.

34:29 Caller Or your girlfriend's materials, for that matter.

34:30 Adam Yeah.

34:32 Caller Or your boyfriend's.

34:33 Yeah.

34:33 Caller You might find out.

34:34 Drew All right. So what did she do?

34:35 She freaked out. She started crying. She's like, I wanted you to wait till you were married.

34:40 Drew Wow. How old was your mom when she started having sex?

34:43 Adam Fourteen.

34:45 She tells me that she waited till my father and her got married, but-

34:48 Drew How old were they when they got married?

34:50 Adam Put it this way. She's 31.

34:51 I think my mom was 23.

34:53 Drew Yeah.

34:54 Sorry.

34:55 Adam Listen, here's the deal. I guarantee your mom didn't wait till she was married. It still doesn't mean she doesn't want that for you.

35:01 Caller Yeah.

35:02 Adam Sometimes you want more for your kids because you didn't have that.

35:05 Drew No mistakes you made. You don't want the kids to make the same mistakes.

35:08 Adam But at least your daughter is being responsible. She's on the pill.

35:11 Caller Yeah.

35:11 Drew Absolutely. She's morning after contraception is great.

35:14 Caller Now I'm on the pill. But there is-

35:15 Drew Good. Outstanding.

35:17 Adam All right. So what do you want to say to your mom?

35:19 Drew Or what do you need from us, more importantly?

35:21 Caller I just want to know how I can make- because she doesn't know him. She's never met him because I met him at school.

35:26 Drew Where do you go to school?

35:27 Caller I go to school like six hours away.

35:29 Drew Where? Wow.

35:30 Caller At Marquette in Milwaukee.

35:32 Drew Did we talk at Marquette?

35:33 Caller So not junior college.

35:34 Adam I don't know. So Katie, listen, you're off at college, you're a big girl now, you're responsible. Your mom's just going to have to get over this.

35:43 Drew I think maybe it's one of those, let her be with it for a while.

35:47 Caller You're over 13.

35:48 Drew You're going to be away at school and ultimately, if you stay with this guy, it'd be nice if she met him. If she can develop a relationship with him, maybe she'd get more comfortable with the whole situation.

35:59 Adam Parents don't like the idea of their babies having sex with anybody, male, female, whatever it is. Eventually, when they understand that that person is going to be in their baby's life and that they're not going to do them wrong, and that they're consistent and decent, 95 percent of the time, the parents just come around.

36:19 Caller Then they accept him.

36:20 Adam They accept him, so if he can hang around long enough without giving you a black eye or something, she will accept him.

36:27 Drew Hey, we're going to play a song.

36:28 Adam No. We're going to take commercial. OK, Drew. Boy, you do good radio, brother. Nothing gets past you. Cisco's here. We'll hear something off his latest CD.

36:39 Caller Oh, this is the thong song.

36:40 Adam This is the thong song.

36:42 Caller Yeah, I know you're going to have a bunch of stuff to say about that.

36:44 Adam I certainly will. When will we come back?

36:48 Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

37:24 Drew All right, Scheherazade, let's go.

37:27 Adam Yeah, what do we... That's Metallica? Oh, I see. I see. The Axelick will kick in in a second.

37:35 Caller Yeah, I'm back in his house.

37:37 Adam That's Cisco.

37:38 Drew No, it's his house.

37:40 Adam His house.

37:40 Yeah, his house.

37:42 Adam Now, it's the Heesha-Seesa. He's a Sheezy. He's a Sheezy. Now you got a new one. Okay, let me ask this. What goes on with this? Do you think they're like some guys sitting around coming up with this stuff? How does it work? Does somebody, a rap star, somebody in the media, does someone have to use it?

38:02 Caller I'm just about to tell you. It happens a lot of times in songs, which you are about to hear in my song, the thong song. I say a term that a lot of people, they kind of have a hard time figuring out what I'm saying because I said, she had dumps like a truck, truck, truck, dies like what? Huh?

38:21 Adam Right.

38:22 Caller And dumps like a truck means she had a nice butt. Oh, really?

38:27 Adam To me, that means ruin the bathroom. She took a dump like a truck.

38:32 Caller She had dumps like a truck and dies like what? Because it's like when you see the dies, it's like, what? You know, what? So it's like it kind of... A lot of times it comes from songs.

38:42 Drew Here we go.

38:43 Adam All right.

38:43 Drew We got to get to it.

38:45 Adam We'll hear something from Unleash the Dragon. This is Cisco and the Thong Song.

40:43 Caller Come on, baby.

42:55 Adam I love the applause. Hey, now, are you singing everything in that?

43:01 Caller Yeah.

43:02 Adam And just layer the tracks?

43:05 Caller Yeah, you just kind of go in there, and you sing one part, and then you record it and sing the next part.

43:11 Adam Do you listen to yourself singing while you're singing?

43:16 Caller I recorded the whole Unleash Your Dragon album in about two and a half weeks.

43:22 Adam And so, put the music down first, and that plays in your headphones, and you go along with it with the vocal?

43:31 Caller Actually, what I did was I kind of freestyled that particular song. Freestyle. That's another one.

43:37 Adam You know what I can't understand about freestyling? What? I think about like Snoop Dogg freestyling, and I think, this guy smokes so much weed. And I could barely freestyle at noon. I just couldn't.

43:53 Caller I couldn't think that fast.

43:54 Adam Well, I mean, I don't want to misconstrue. But if I was stoned, I couldn't do it at all.

43:57 Caller I don't want to misconstrue. I don't want people to think I just sat there and just sang it right off the top of my head. I was singing like three lines, and then I would stop and think, and then I sing like the rest. So it wasn't just, it wasn't like, I'm not that good. Spontaneous. Yeah. Well, actually, one, I did freestyle one song, one song, the second verse to that song. Actually, our first number one single across the board was How Deep. That was on the Rush Hour soundtrack, and I actually did freestyle from the second verse to the end. So that was like an actual reel.

44:27 Adam I could freestyle as long as I knew we could try it 10 or 12 times. But I couldn't do it live. You knew that that was going to be a lie. I'd be like, baby, I'm hotter than a radiator. You get next to me and I'm like another radiator.

44:41 It's like, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you.

44:47 Adam Oh, that's great, yeah. No, listen, I could do a little Tim the Russian rapper.

44:53 Drew That would impress.

44:54 Adam Cisco, you haven't heard any Russian rapping, have you?

44:56 Caller No, I haven't. But actually, I've heard Greek rap. Oh, really? I'm not Greek, I'm sorry. German, German rap.

45:03 Adam Oh, no, no, forget those guys.

45:05 Caller Yeah.

45:05 Adam It's nothing like the Russian rap.

45:06 Caller Shankshul, Rasul, it just sounds kind of different.

45:11 Adam No.

45:12 Caller To say the least.

45:13 Adam The Russian rap goes like this. This is a long story, but I knew a fat 14-year-old white kid who was from Russia who rapped and I picked up a few licks from him. I won't say the entire word. You're going to beat me out?

45:27 Caller I'm sorry, I'm really interested in hearing this.

45:29 Drew Do the John Mackerel.

45:31 Adam I got to do them both. You're going to beat me out?

45:33 Drew Yeah.

45:34 Caller So this is actually a real song?

45:35 Adam Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, this is a real song. House of Pain. I think it's House of Pain.

45:39 Caller Don't cuss.

45:40 Adam Don't cuss? Okay, I won't cuss. All right, okay, ready?

45:43 Caller They're 13-year-olds listening.

45:45 Adam Beaches ain't shh, but hoes and tricks, sock on these balls and leak on these...

45:54 That was a Russian.

45:56 Adam That's Russian rap.

45:57 That was like some misconstrued English.

45:59 Adam No, no, no, no. Listen to this. You weren't listening good enough, because now we're in my sheezy's. Okay?

46:06 Drew Sheezy, fan-cheezy.

46:09 Adam She's not my sheezy, my hazy fantaisey here.

46:12 You hear me?

46:15 Adam Okay. This is not... I got the bakhan like John Mockenro. That beach steps up, I'm smocking the hole. That is Russian rap. That's going to be the next big thing.

46:29 You're going to smock.

46:30 Adam That's right.

46:31 Okay.

46:31 Adam I smock the hole.

46:33 Caller Man, my man is in there just dying, laughing off of you.

46:36 Adam Your man better start learning how to play the Bella Lica because this is the next big trend in rap music.

46:42 Caller Okay, Russian rap.

46:43 I'm going to hold you to that.

46:44 Drew We're done.

46:45 Adam Where are you going, Drew?

46:46 Drew We're out of here.

46:46 Adam No, that's it.

46:47 Caller He just erased his number off the thing.

46:49 Adam Let me just say hi to six real... Oh, no, no, we're out of... Hey, Ben, you're 30. You're going to tell me that narthex means the cross in the cross, where the cross crosses.

47:00 Caller You just ruined his thing.

47:02 Adam No, no, that's still... That's a good heavy metal band.

47:04 Drew Where did you hear about that? You made it up?

47:06 Adam A friend of mine made it up like 15 years ago. I didn't know what he was talking about. Wait a minute.

47:11 Caller That was his time to shine, and you just stole his shine.

47:14 Drew We're going to talk to the commercial.

47:15 Adam We don't have enough time. Listen.

47:16 Caller Okay, I'm sorry.

47:17 Adam Narthex. That band rocks.

47:20 Caller That cross.

47:21 Adam Come on.

47:22 Caller That cross.

47:23 Caller That cross.

47:24 Adam That Narthex cross.

47:26 Caller Come on.

47:27 Adam That would be our big crossover hit. All right. We'll take a break.

47:33 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

47:36 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. More of the best of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He's Dr. Drew. Henry Rollins stops by the studio. We talk to Henry about God knows what. I can't remember. I gotta be honest with you, but it must be good or it wouldn't be on the best of.

48:29 Drew There's never any shortage of talk with Henry around, you know?

48:33 Adam Yeah.

48:33 Drew Right?

48:33 Adam You need to get a new thesaurus. Our guest is urinating right now.

48:38 Drew He's waiting for half an hour to come on the air.

48:41 Adam As tradition would have it here on Loveline, our guest, we have a very, very loose policy. Ah, there he is. Henry Rollins is here. He's gotten out of the bathroom. He's sitting down. We're going to plug his CD tonight and any other thing Henry wants to plug. How are you doing, Henry?

49:02 I'm fine. Why do they always have you guys in these kind of dark and roughed out studios?

49:08 Drew He sets the lighting.

49:09 Adam Sets the mood. What do you mean, I set the lighting?

49:11 Drew I like it.

49:11 Last time he was... Are you plunged in darkness? Are you ashamed of how you look?

49:15 Adam A little bit, yeah.

49:15 Drew Just ashamed in general.

49:16 Adam I feel fat.

49:18 Drew But last time, I had it kind of brightened up. You came in, turned right back down to...

49:22 Adam Well, as you know, Drew, I don't get a lot of sleep and I like to start that process of winding down about 10, 15, 10, 20 to be fair to me.

49:32 What, are you hungover?

49:34 Adam Sometimes. I have a daytime gig and I like to just come here and see if I can start the unwinding process a little bit early. Put your cans on as we call it in the business, Henry, if you can find them.

49:46 Drew Are you still doing the spoken word stuff?

49:49 Not now. Just got the band going from March until September. So I did 99 of those shows last year, but this year is mostly a band year.

49:56 Drew It's one every three days.

49:58 Adam That's crazy.

49:59 It's a lot of talking.

50:00 Adam I know, and we speak to Henry periodically, and these things go on anywhere from, I guess, two hours to three hours sometimes, the spoken word thing.

50:12 Yeah.

50:13 Adam That just seems like a lot of talking. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's what I would be into at Minute 35.

50:21 Drew And Adam, you're a genius.

50:22 Adam I'm a genius, and I can't talk that long. So Henry's a genius with a battery.

50:28 I think it's, you're more of a quality guy. I'm more into the quantity.

50:33 Adam That's right. That's right.

50:35 When you say it, it's like a, it's a pearl of wisdom, and you can give him 20 good minutes and...

50:40 Adam Well what I'll do is I'll take 20 minutes of speaking, but it'll be broken up with 10 minute applause and laughter.

50:47 Drew Dratle song.

50:48 Adam The dratle song. I can really stretch it out. I make rock soup out of my time on stage. So forget about the spoken word for now. You're back with the Rollins band. And is it just... I guess you love both of them, but I guess you can get burnt out on both of them too.

51:05 Yeah. I try and do different stuff, just so I'm not doing anything for too long. The band takes a long time because it's more than just me. So you got to get everyone together for band practice, for the tour. And so it takes a good nine months to realize a whole band tour. Or longer if you want to keep orbiting the globe. And this will be till the fall.

51:26 Adam Right. And are you looking forward to hitting the stage with the musicians now after being out there solo for a while?

51:34 Oh, yeah. Can't wait. We did 40 shows last year, everywhere from America to some festivals in Europe and had a great time.

51:43 Adam Josh?

51:44 Caller Yeah.

51:44 Adam Year 19. What's up?

51:46 Caller Yeah. I'm going to be real specific here real quick.

51:50 Adam All right.

51:52 Caller I've been going on my girlfriend for almost a year and about three months ago, we first had sex and that was the first person I had sex with. I was the first person she had sex with. Well, we did it. I was on top, she was on bottom the first two times. Then the last time after that, she wanted up the butt, so I did it. And we've done it about five times since. And she's always been up the butt.

52:24 Adam Right.

52:24 Caller And I think it's really weird and I want to say something, but she's real touchy-feely and she gets real pissed off. I don't know how to like...

52:33 Adam I know how delicate the sensibilities of someone who enjoys being cornhole on a regular basis can be. They're often pious people and it's difficult to broach these kinds of subjects with them. They just want to talk about cornhole and anything else can upset them. I know. My family is the same way.

52:54 Caller Well, I mean, this is her first time doing it.

52:56 Drew That was rimming, wasn't it?

52:57 Adam Oh, that was rimming. You're right, Drew. Yeah, cornholeing, we can't talk about. Rimming, we can have open discussions on.

53:03 Drew It's a dinner conversation for you guys.

53:04 Adam Yeah.

53:05 Caller But how do I get her to... I don't know.

53:08 Drew I think you just have to tell her you're not comfortable doing this. That's all. Just tell her you don't like it. Nothing to do with her. Don't make it feel...

53:13 Caller I don't like it up the butt.

53:15 Josh, is that your basic problem, you don't enjoy it?

53:19 Caller No, it's just that I do enjoy it because it feels good. But I mean...

53:26 Adam You don't want it to be the hub of the relationship.

53:28 Caller Yeah, I want to do it the regular way.

53:30 Adam Right.

53:31 Caller And it's... I don't know.

53:32 Well, you should tell her what you want and be open.

53:36 Caller But for a scenario, right? Can I give you a scenario?

53:39 Caller Yes. All right.

53:41 Adam It worries me when we get into anal sex scenarios, but go ahead.

53:44 Caller All right. Just like... I'm in this band called App...

53:48 Adam Oh, no, no. I don't believe him already. He's just trying to get his band name in. Yes, that's right.

53:54 Caller That's fine.

53:55 Caller He's done.

53:58 Adam Oh, I should bring in my list. I sat down with a bunch of guys and came up with a list of good band names the other day. Stinkfinger, Foundry. There may be a band called Foundry, I don't know. It sounds like a pretty good rock band, though, right?

54:12 Yeah. Yeah, you go see them in the heartbeat.

54:15 Adam Ashley, you're 17. What's up?

54:17 Caller Well, I had chlamydia about, well, I got, they found it, right, in last March or May?

54:26 Adam May.

54:28 Caller So, well, I had only been, well, I've been with some guys, I started having sex when I was 14, and I had never had thought that I would probably have any diseases, STDs. Why? So I went and got checked. Well, I mean, I had had unprotected sex.

54:43 Drew Well, then you get STDs.

54:45 Caller Yeah. Well, I don't know. I just thought that they were all, that they all had symptoms.

54:49 Drew No, chlamydia does not. Chlamydia has nothing.

54:52 Caller Yeah, I know that.

54:52 Drew Or it says nothing.

54:54 Caller Well, I talked to my parents. I was really scared from watching some sex ed videos. My parents took me to a clinic and I got checked out. It turned out I had chlamydia. Right. So they gave me some medicine for that. I took the antibiotics and then later on, I talked to the guy that I had had sex with recently. This guy didn't have it. He went and got checked and he didn't have it. So that really worried me. That means that before him, I hadn't had sex for about a year and a half.

55:22 Drew Right.

55:23 Caller So it means I would have had the disease for about maybe two years or so.

55:28 Drew That's possible.

55:29 Caller That really worried me because when I was having sex with this guy, we had had sex a lot of times and we didn't use condoms most of the time. Right. Then later on when we talked about it, he said that he'd come to me just about every time.

55:44 Adam It's came to by the way.

55:45 Caller Well, came whatever.

55:47 Adam Came to Edie.

55:48 Drew In her vagina?

55:49 Adam In her vagina.

55:50 Caller Yeah.

55:51 Adam A bunch of times?

55:52 Caller Yeah.

55:53 Adam You didn't know that at the time?

55:55 Caller No. I thought he was faking.

55:57 Adam Oh, I see. And where was your head? Was it still attached to your body or was it the other room? Where were you?

56:03 Drew And by the way, pulling out doesn't mean anything, right? Because the pre-ejaculate has tons of stuff.

56:07 Adam But what does he do? Like, see one of these guys who puts a pillow on your head and holds it down?

56:12 Caller No.

56:12 Adam Well, don't you know where he's going?

56:15 Caller Well, he'd pretend like he was coming into some rag or something, but obviously he wasn't. I never checked the rag.

56:21 Adam Yeah, see, I always check the rag. I like a Rorschach. It looks like a butterfly. It looks like Lincoln's head.

56:27 Drew Ashley, what is the question?

56:28 Caller The question is, I feel...

56:30 Adam What? He would fake it into a rag? Are you kidding me? How high were you?

56:36 Caller I wasn't high.

56:38 Adam Someone had to be high. Either it was you, him, or the rag. Something was high in that room. What do you mean? He's on top of you.

56:45 Caller So what's the question? The question is, I still have some cramps. I read up a lot on the chlamydia and stuff and how it can turn into public inflammatory disease. And I was thinking, hey, I didn't get pregnant any of those times, which kind of freaks me out. Not that I wanted to, but out of all those times. And then I still get some cramps. And I do get chills. And it just like scares the crap out of me that I might have public inflammatory disease. I'm having it so long.

57:18 Drew No, no, no, no, no. You're confusing all these things. PID is a fairly acute syndrome. A lot of pain, often fevers, this sort of thing, discharge. And the indolent infection in the tubes that is really what tends to cause the infertility is probably what you in fact had. So PID, you may still have infection. You may even still have scarring and all sorts of things left over from the chlamydia. And that may be what's causing your symptoms. So it's important. And there could be another problem. So you've got to see a gynecologist. You probably will have to have a laparoscopy and really get completely checked out and followed and managed going forward to make sure that you don't have problems in the future. And again, there may be some fertility issues here that you want to stay on top of.

57:58 Adam This guy over here.

58:01 Drew Ragman?

58:02 Adam The rag mop, it's great. It's like I got to keep a straight face when I'm having the orgasm so she doesn't know. And then five minutes later, I'll pull out, I'll grimace, I'll close your eyes. You know, I don't want to see you get hurt. And then I'll just sort of ball up a sweatshirt and limp over to the hamper. What the, do you think he was actually doing that?

58:25 Drew I think he was just mopping off and she was so out of it that she wasn't really paying attention.

58:30 Adam Sean, you're 21.

58:33 Caller Yeah.

58:33 Adam I'm going to try that when I get home today.

58:36 Caller I was, the other night my girlfriend and I were making out and I went down on her and then she was actually giving me hand jabs for a little while. And anyway, we were both at our pants down and I went back up and started making out with her some more. And after a while I started rubbing my, well, I have an insectivore so I kind of obviously wondered what it feels like, right?

59:04 Adam Yeah. Hey, Sean, you're 21.

59:07 Caller Yeah.

59:07 Adam Yeah. Hey, hold on. We say it all the time on this show. We have 21 year olds who sound like they're 12, 13 years old. And then we have 12, 13 year olds who sound like they're Vietnam veterans who have been driving a truck.

59:19 Drew For 20 years.

59:20 Adam For 20 years. I mean, Henry, it's absolutely amazing. We get guys like Sean at 21, they're like, I'm a virgin and I was getting the hand from a girl and I grabbed a boob and it was cool. And then we get guys who are 13, like I was Free Basin and Cornhole and one of my bitches.

59:41 Caller My pager went off.

59:45 Adam I swear to God, Sean is the kind I like. He's the 21 who sounds like he's 12.

59:50 Caller Well, I didn't want to go into sex with anybody.

59:54 Adam I don't understand.

59:56 Caller Anyway, when I was actually on top of her, I rubbed my against her vagina and with your clothes on. No, we both let her pants off. Anyway, I was worried about the possibility of her getting pregnant from maybe some pre-cum touching.

1:00:17 Drew Very unlikely.

1:00:18 Caller It is.

1:00:18 Drew Very unlikely. But when was this? When did this occur?

1:00:21 Caller It was Saturday night.

1:00:23 Drew Always can check out morning after pill if there's any concern at all.

1:00:26 Adam Yeah, but Sean, you're not that potent.

1:00:29 Caller Well, see, the thing is, I don't even know if the tip actually touched it at all, but I'm just paranoid now.

1:00:35 Adam No, she's not.

1:00:37 Drew And yes, you're paranoid.

1:00:38 Adam Yes, you are paranoid. And what's up with you?

1:00:41 Caller What?

1:00:42 Adam Are you religious?

1:00:43 Caller No, I just-

1:00:44 Adam What's up with you? You're 21 years old.

1:00:46 Caller I won't know. I can't get her pregnant. I just don't want to do that. Yeah.

1:00:53 Adam What are your hobbies? You play Dungeons and Dragons?

1:00:56 Caller No, I'm more into-

1:00:57 Adam Yeah. You're into something. You play in the basement. I know that. What are you into?

1:01:03 Caller School.

1:01:04 Adam School?

1:01:05 Caller Yeah.

1:01:06 Adam College, I hope?

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:07 Adam Yeah. Four year?

1:01:09 Caller Four year, yeah.

1:01:10 Adam All right.

1:01:11 Drew Where are you in school?

1:01:12 Caller I go in Chicago.

1:01:14 Drew What are you studying?

1:01:15 Caller Marketing.

1:01:16 Adam All right. All right, Sean.

1:01:18 Caller All right.

1:01:18 Adam Here we go now.

1:01:20 Caller All right. Actually, I got one more question.

1:01:22 Adam No. No. No. Sorry, Sean.

1:01:25 Caller All right. Thank you.

1:01:26 Adam That's all right. I call back in a year. Ed, you're 19. How's it going, Adam?

1:01:35 Caller Good.

1:01:36 Caller Henry? Well, my question, well, I'm really excited about the new album, of course. Been looking forward to it for some months now. I was curious about the current lineup, because I didn't see Melvin or Chris.

1:01:51 Caller What happened was, at the end of 1997, we finished all the shows for the year, and we all decided that there is really no more music for us to do together after 10 and a half years, and it was time for us to go run and play with other people. So the guitar player went off and worked on Bowie's record, the drummer worked with the Jay Giles band. The bass player went off with DJ Logic and some other New York jazz bands and the sound man went to Europe and started working with a bunch of European pop and rock bands. And I went off and did this New Orleans band record with these, my new guys. And so everyone went their separate ways and immediately got involved with other stuff really fast. So cool. Yeah. And the new thing is very hard rock and real straight ahead, different than the last stuff. I'm digging it. Oh, cool. Yeah. So that's what happened. Everyone else's, the bass player Melvin just had a kid. So he's like, you know, into being a dad. So everyone's cool.

1:02:49 Caller You know, I hadn't heard anything. So, you know, I hadn't heard any horrible breakup stories or anything.

1:02:54 Caller No, there wasn't. It was just we all kind of went, OK, that was great. It's been ten and a half years. Now it's all time for everyone to run and do something else.

1:03:01 Caller I had faith in y'all.

1:03:03 Caller Thanks.

1:03:04 Adam All right, Ed. Thanks. Take care.

1:03:09 Caller Let's see one this and then this.

1:03:13 Adam No, Weldon.

1:03:14 Caller That's the.

1:03:14 Yeah. Hey, what's going on?

1:03:16 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:03:18 Caller A lot, man. Well, I've got a question. Well, I have a situation actually right now. I'm staying with my girlfriend and her mom found out that we've been having sex. Didn't seem that big of a deal to her mom. I mean, I'd known her all my life pretty much, but when we went to Panama City this last summer for a vacation.

1:03:45 Adam Yeah. Drew, we were in Panama City, weren't we?

1:03:48 Drew Yep.

1:03:48 Adam Florida?

1:03:49 Drew Yep.

1:03:49 Adam Yeah. It's a lovely country if you like waffles.

1:03:55 Drew Mayonnaise.

1:03:56 Adam That's my rap name, by the way, Henry. It's Mayonnaise. That's my May May Mayonnaise. That's Snoop. I saw the man show, me and Jimmy over at Snoop's getting stoned today.

1:04:10 Drew Yeah. How did you look high on TV?

1:04:12 Adam High. High as a kite.

1:04:14 Drew That's good. Nice message.

1:04:16 Caller So what's your man show thing about you go hang out and talk about women you never really get to climb on?

1:04:21 Adam That's right. Well, yeah.

1:04:25 Caller Is that basically it?

1:04:26 Adam That's basically it.

1:04:27 Caller I haven't seen it yet, but with you I have a feeling.

1:04:30 Adam Oh, you're going to. I brought a tape for Drew tonight, so we'll take a look during the show.

1:04:34 Caller Bouncy, bouncy.

1:04:35 Drew Let's watch. All right.

1:04:36 Adam So, Weldon, so what the hell happened? You're on vacation.

1:04:39 Caller Yeah. Well, me and my girlfriend's mom are really close. And like I said, we've known each other since I was born pretty much.

1:04:51 Adam Get to the part where you're screwing her.

1:04:53 Caller Well, all right. Me and her mom, we're up in this hotel, in this condo, man. We're drinking and stuff. Next thing I know, we're messing around and I ended up screwing her mom.

1:05:05 Adam Okay. And where's your girlfriend during this time?

1:05:08 Caller She's out on the beach with her friend. So, I mean, we have a lot of privacy and everything.

1:05:14 Adam How old's her mom?

1:05:16 Caller Her mom, she's old enough to be my mom.

1:05:19 Drew How old would that be?

1:05:20 Caller 40.

1:05:20 Drew 40.

1:05:21 Adam So, it's amazing.

1:05:22 Caller Yeah.

1:05:23 Adam Well, you're dating her daughter, so it would make sense.

1:05:26 Caller Yeah.

1:05:26 Adam Yeah.

1:05:27 Caller Well...

1:05:28 Adam Now, what's your question?

1:05:30 Caller Oh, man. Well, this has been going on. I've still been having sex with her mom for like the past nine months.

1:05:36 Caller Does your girlfriend know?

1:05:38 Caller No, she still doesn't know.

1:05:39 Drew You gotta get out of there.

1:05:40 Adam Where's dad?

1:05:42 Caller Dad's living there, man.

1:05:43 Drew Oh, this is ridiculous.

1:05:45 Caller Like, my girlfriend's getting real suspicious about it.

1:05:48 Adam Sure.

1:05:50 Drew She's really tuned in.

1:05:51 Adam Yeah. She's sharp as a tack, that girl.

1:05:54 Caller Do what?

1:05:55 Adam She knows.

1:05:56 Caller Yeah, she gets her awareness from her dad, right?

1:05:59 Adam Yeah.

1:06:00 Caller I hope not. But man, I really don't know what to do.

1:06:04 Adam Now listen, wait a minute. Well, is the dad and mom still married and they're still living under the same roof?

1:06:10 Caller Yeah.

1:06:11 Adam And where are you having all of this sex?

1:06:14 Caller We go out places, man. We go to concerts and stuff. I had sex with her mom's friend at a concert. And her mom don't know about that yet. And like all this stuff is coming around.

1:06:25 Caller You're a real mover, man.

1:06:28 Caller Man, all this crap is like starting to come around and everybody's starting to get real suspicious about any crap.

1:06:32 Caller You should get out of there, man.

1:06:34 Caller Yeah.

1:06:35 Caller And I don't, I don't...

1:06:36 Adam Hey, who's that in the background, you idiot?

1:06:39 Caller That's my friend.

1:06:40 Adam All right. Listen, listen. What is, what is her husband do? Drive a truck or swing a hammer?

1:06:46 Caller Well, he works for Watkins. It's a truck driving place.

1:06:49 Adam All right. There we go. Perfect. He's going to take his truck. He's going to run over you.

1:06:55 Caller No.

1:06:55 Adam Yeah, I'm telling you. I know he's got a gun.

1:06:58 Caller Oh, man.

1:06:59 Adam I'm sure he has a gun. He has to have a gun. He's going to shoot you.

1:07:03 Caller His son likes to hunt a lot.

1:07:04 Adam Yes. Okay. You're next. Consider yourself an endangered species.

1:07:08 Drew Get out of there. Get away from these people. You're harming all of them. Just get away.

1:07:13 Adam No.

1:07:14 Drew Leave them to their own little hell. They've got no doubt.

1:07:17 Adam They've created for themselves.

1:07:18 Drew Yeah. They live in an awful situation. But he is the source of problems now. He needs to extricate himself from all that.

1:07:24 Adam All right. Well, Henry Rollins is our guest tonight. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll come back. We'll hear something off the New Rollins Band CD. Also, yeah, that call is revolting. We won't take that call. We'll take another one after this.

1:07:45 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:08:16 Adam More of the best of Loveline with STP. Scott Weiland and Robert from STP are both here.

1:08:21 Drew They were great, huh?

1:08:22 Adam Yeah, really nice guys. I didn't think that, I never met STP. I thought they were gonna be A-holes for some reason.

1:08:28 Drew Even if they had been, they were nice beyond just sort of normalized, you know what I'm saying? They were really good guys.

1:08:34 Adam That's true.

1:08:35 Drew And you poked at Scott a little bit about the pokey.

1:08:38 Adam That's right, he was in the clink, and I asked the tough questions. Hey, Scott, nice to meet you.

1:08:44 Caller So you'll never guess what happened. So I'm walking over here, and I get stuck in quicksand, and Mary throws a stick at me, and then I sink down, there's nothing but my hat left.

1:08:56 Drew Were you struggling? Because you were struggling. You should have held still.

1:08:59 Caller No, I heard that last night, you're a little quicksand.

1:09:03 Adam You know what was really weird? I walked into my writer's room at The Man Show today and started yelling at them about quicksand and why we don't have more things written about quicksand. And when you were talking about it just now, that's where I was remembering it from. So I thought to myself, how the hell did you hear that? Then I forgot. Yeah, it's the radio. Well, Scott, I'm glad you're here.

1:09:23 Caller The Lakers won, man. The last two seconds of the game, we won. We won.

1:09:27 Drew You were in the car driving back.

1:09:28 Caller Yeah, I was at the game, and gosh, man. I hate when they throw those close ones like that. Yeah, kill me. Little mini strokes, you know?

1:09:37 Adam All right, so Scott, thanks for... We expected you in about an hour because we just saw the game end on the television.

1:09:43 Caller You know what? I made a promise, you know? These days, I try to say what I mean and mean what I say, so...

1:09:50 Adam That's refreshing. How was the pokey?

1:09:55 Caller Oh, jail. Yeah. I thought you were talking about that Hawaiian raw tuna dish.

1:10:02 Adam That's pokey pokey.

1:10:03 Caller Yeah. Anyway, yeah, jail, you know what? It's not a great place to spend time. I was very fortunate that I have a good relationship with the people that run the Impact Drug and Alcohol Program in Pasadena, and they have a rather... Actually, it's a very experimental program within the LA. County jail system that is sort of overseen by Sheriff Baca and the sheriffs, and when you're allowed to go in into that program, do your time in there, it's in really sort of a clinical setting. So you're working with counselors from seven in the morning to seven at night. That's what you... most of your day is spending group doing book study and that, and working on getting into the solution instead of just sitting around commiserating about the problem. So I was really fortunate to be able to... that the judge gave me that opportunity. Now, like Robert Downey could have been given that opportunity to stay there because he was there at one time, but unfortunately, for whatever political reasons existed in that particular courtroom that he wasn't as lucky. But I was.

1:11:13 Adam Yeah, so you're not in with the rapists and the arsonists and the murders.

1:11:18 Caller Well, no, there are people in there who have committed some pretty awful things in their time. But you know what? It's just to say it doesn't mean that one person is any worse than the other because any person who is severely addicted to drugs, I'm just fortunate. I make a lot of money. You know, I didn't have to go to those lengths that a lot of people have to go to to stay well and to not be sick. There are people that are really good people that in their disease are capable of doing just about anything at any given time. And some of those people have stooped to that level. And it doesn't necessarily mean that they're a bad person. It means that they suffer from really bad disease.

1:11:59 Adam Well, what choice do you have? I mean, if you have no money and no means and you're starting to go through withdrawals or you're starting to get the shakes or you're starting to, I mean, you're in a lot of pain physically.

1:12:12 Drew It's more than just the, I don't want to speak for you, but it's more than just the pain. It's a some level of belief that you're going to be destroyed without the drug.

1:12:20 Caller Yeah, definitely.

1:12:20 Drew You're literally, it's a survival instinct.

1:12:23 Adam Well, the point is, you don't have any money, you think you're going to die, you need the drugs, and you start doing things that you never would have dreamt of doing. And I don't know what percentage of crime is based on that, but I would say a lot of it is.

1:12:38 Caller It's like 80 to 90 in a lot of it is.

1:12:40 Adam Well, think about what desperate acts so much of the crime is. I mean, think about something like carjacking. Think about something like just running into a liquor store and jumping behind the counter, or holding someone up at the ATM, or a home invasion, or something like that. I mean, those aren't guys that are cracking a safe or, you know, timing the Brinks truck. I mean, those are just desperate quick things by desperate people. And you don't get desperate that way unless you put the drugs behind it. Exactly. I was driving home last night from the radio station here, Drew, about 12 and change in the evening. And I noticed a spider crawling along my windshield right in front of me, right?

1:13:26 Drew Inside or outside?

1:13:27 Adam I say, outside, because on the inside, I wouldn't be here. I would have turned into the bay, try to drown the spider. I've done that before. But I noticed it, and I thought, well, that's funny, because I'm driving, and my window's rolled up, and it's out there, and I'm doing about 35. And I think it's going to go flying off any second now.

1:13:45 Caller It'll go home.

1:13:47 Adam I don't know where it came off, but I got on the on ramp, and I got on to the tent, and I got it wound up to about 85, and the thing was still on there. And it was just, it was yelling like Mother Efferent Spider the whole time. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but it was on a piece of glass, and it was toward the top, but it was right where I could see it, right in front of me, and I was literally over 80 miles an hour. Did not come off. And I thought, I thought eventually it probably did come off. It was sort of crawling toward the roof. But how does it do that? It was on glass. I mean, it wasn't like, you know, it was a piece of leather or something, or burlap or something, or wood or anything. It was glass, and I was over 80, and it was just hanging. I mean, it was really hanging tough, but it was hanging, and I thought, I wish I could do that.

1:14:37 Caller Didn't Spider-Man climb buildings? Yeah. Kind of the same principle.

1:14:42 Adam Same thing. He got the high dose of gamma radiation, which, as you know, either kills you or...

1:14:48 Caller Turns you into half a spider.

1:14:50 Drew Or you start growing.

1:14:51 Adam That's right, you get huge, too. All right, so let's talk to Amber over here. Were you talking to Amber?

1:14:58 Caller Your senses are tingling.

1:14:59 Drew You know her now.

1:15:00 Adam Amber?

1:15:01 Yeah.

1:15:01 Adam You're 19, what's up?

1:15:04 Caller I've been with this guy for two years. Over two years. And we were sexually active. But lately he wants to have anal sex a lot. And you know, I don't mind if I let him or whatever. But I want it in this one position that makes me have an orgasm really quick.

1:15:22 Drew What's that?

1:15:23 Caller It's like I'm on top of him and I like put my arm around him and like pull him up towards me.

1:15:29 Drew Wait a second.

1:15:30 Adam Yeah, she's on top and then he like sits up, right?

1:15:33 Caller Yeah, kind of. But I'm like holding him up.

1:15:35 Adam That's our position.

1:15:36 Drew Oh, you're not.

1:15:36 Caller Yeah.

1:15:37 Adam I mean, when we travel.

1:15:39 Drew And he's like, did you always turn away from me?

1:15:41 Adam Well, because I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of my love. And the TV's on. All right. So yeah.

1:15:48 Caller He doesn't want to do it. And I'm like, well, he let me do it. Like, I like finally discovered this position. Now I like love it so much. And then I like want to do it. And then all of a sudden he's like, I don't want to do that because it makes me feel like a bitch. I'm like, what are you talking about?

1:16:04 Drew He is a world class dick.

1:16:07 Caller And so we got in this huge fight. I'm like, I'm not having sex with you anymore.

1:16:10 Drew This is very interesting because what he wants then is to put her in this totally demeaning, dependent position. As opposed to sort of mutual position where she has some capacity to be present and in control, he can't tolerate that.

1:16:24 Caller It's past the sex at that point. It's more of a...

1:16:27 Caller Passive domination.

1:16:28 Drew Oh yeah.

1:16:28 Caller I mean, he's... Any guy's like...

1:16:31 Drew It's aggressive, it's aggressive, you know.

1:16:32 Caller If you're in an intimate relationship, it's like... You're in a pretty lucky situation if you ever get to have it that way at once in your life. I mean, for him to sort of suggest that that's how he likes to have sex is definitely pretty strange. And the fact that you... You're aware of a way that stimulates you and you're able to reach orgasm easiest, I would think that he would be happy to please you in that way because what seems to make most guys happy in the sexual way is when they know that they're getting their woman that they love off. I mean, that makes a man...

1:17:15 Caller I don't think it's sex at that point, though. I think it's a matter of... Maybe you should ask him what he really thinks of women, as you as a woman. I think it's not even about the sex at that point. It sounds like he's making you out to be something that's...

1:17:30 Caller Maybe it's something that happened to him when he was younger or something.

1:17:32 Caller Yeah.

1:17:32 Adam Hey, Amber. Yeah. Yeah, we're just based on this information alone. We're deeming this guy in a hole and telling you to possibly break up with him. We don't like him. Listen, my theory, and I've told this to Drew many a time, the guys are obsessed with anal sex. They're not obsessed with the sensation of anal sex. They're obsessed with degrading women and the fact that the women don't want to do it. A lot of guys just try to get women to do stuff they don't want to do. Absolutely. For me, it's everything. I mean, holding hands.

1:18:01 Drew It's interesting. The reason he doesn't want to engage in a situation where there's mutuality is he feels like a woman. Which is what could be worse than that.

1:18:08 Adam What could be worse than that. You have an orgasm in that position, right? Son of a bitch. Anything. You know what? This guy doesn't know how good he has it because we got to do the sex and then it's down in the basement for a half hour. You know what I mean? I mean most women get off orally. They can enjoy the intercourse but eventually you want to finish a job. You got to get down there and get busy. And Jesus, if you're getting off and you're just sitting on it, all the guys got to do is sit up for three minutes. I mean for Christ's sake. What a bitch. Yeah, it's got to be made. All right, Amber, we don't like this guy. What's he do for a living?

1:18:44 He goes to college.

1:18:46 Adam He does what?

1:18:46 Caller He goes to college.

1:18:47 Drew College?

1:18:48 Caller Yeah.

1:18:49 Adam Are you counting welding school as college?

1:18:54 Drew What do you mean college?

1:18:55 Caller He plays basketball. He plays basketball at college.

1:18:59 Adam Junior college?

1:19:00 Caller No.

1:19:01 Adam All right. Amber, we don't like his style. Any guy on the basketball team that's trying to put his Pepe in my a-hole is not a good guy. That guy's got to be hung. He's on the basketball team, right?

1:19:15 Caller New guy. There's someone out there that will treat you better.

1:19:17 Adam He's not a point guard, is he?

1:19:19 Caller No.

1:19:20 Adam What position?

1:19:21 Caller He's center.

1:19:21 Adam Center. Don't. I mean, he's got to be at least 6'8, right?

1:19:26 Caller Yeah.

1:19:27 Adam OK.

1:19:27 Drew Although we've met people that have been with centers.

1:19:29 Adam He's got a big heart. Right? Yeah. Speaking of Shaq. Hey, Amber?

1:19:36 Caller Yeah.

1:19:36 Adam OK. Keep him away.

1:19:38 Caller Thanks.

1:19:38 Adam All right. There. We were talking to, who was that?

1:19:42 Drew Holly Robinson.

1:19:43 Adam Holly Robinson Peat?

1:19:44 Drew Was it her?

1:19:46 Adam Yeah. She married Rodney Peat, I think. Anyway, I was, I don't know what we're talking about. She's a hope Shaq still in the locker room. But he, we're on the TV show. And I don't know what I was talking about. I said, imagine the Shaq with his penis out chasing around the apartment. I mean, what a nightmare that would be for a young lady. And Holly is probably 5'4. She leaned over during the commercial and said, I used to date Shaq. And I went, my condolences to your vagina. She said, no big deal. I was like, oh my god. And then a big high five by me and Drew. I thought, yeah.

1:20:26 Drew There is a god.

1:20:26 Adam There is a god. That's right. 30 million a year. Can't, still can't do anything. All right. Well, we're going to hear a song from Stone Temple Pilots. What do you say? All right. You queued up there, Anderson? Yes. This is Sour Girl.

1:25:01 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

1:25:32 Caller Like, oh, that's a good radio drill.

1:25:36 Adam Phone number.

1:25:37 Caller He's rubbing off on you.

1:25:38 Adam 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Forget about the fax number. That is Dr. Drew. I'm Adam Corolla. Scott and Robert are both here from Stone Temple Pilots. Four is the name of the CD. Sean?

1:25:51 Drew Sean? Call her who goes by Sean.

1:25:54 Adam Who is 25 years of age.

1:25:56 Drew And sleeping.

1:25:57 Adam Oh, really? And it's no fun unless they're snoring, though. All right. We'll put Sean back on hold and speak to Jenna.

1:26:05 Drew Oops.

1:26:06 Adam Oops. How did I do that? Jenna?

1:26:09 Drew Hello?

1:26:09 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:26:11 Caller I've had sex 528 times in the past 19 months.

1:26:17 Caller Oh, my God.

1:26:18 Drew What about the same person?

1:26:19 Caller Yeah. With my boyfriend and fiancee, we're getting married in August.

1:26:23 Drew Do you have some kind of little hat sheet or something? A blouse and a device?

1:26:27 Caller Yeah. It's like on your fighter plane. You mark them off every time you have a kill.

1:26:31 Adam She puts the SWAT stickers on a windshield.

1:26:36 Drew The football's on the helmet.

1:26:37 Adam Yeah. Hold on a second. I got something to say about that. I was talking about quicksand last night. What happened to quicksand? Scott was nice enough to bring up. But what happened to sticking stickers on to things and putting notches in things to signify things? Gunslingers from the Old West would put a notch on their holster and handle their gun.

1:26:57 Drew Prison would be mocking off the days.

1:26:58 Adam Yeah. They'd do that, scratch it into the side of the wall, and then do the X thing for the five days. Fighter pilots would have the Japanese rising sun flag or the swastika, whatever it was. Football players, it was very popular, especially in college and in high school. They'd put the sticker, the skull and crossbones or whatever, all over the side of the helmet. I think Michigan Wolverines used to do that.

1:27:20 Caller Ohio State still does it, but I think they're like the only major team that still does that.

1:27:24 Adam Yeah. Anderson said Willie Stargell, I think, used to do that. I think the Pittsburgh Pirates used to have some. There was this very hot Trent notches in the bed pose for every time you got laid. People don't keep tallies anymore, not in the form of stickers and notches. I'd like to see some of that coming back. Drew?

1:27:43 Drew I would like that too.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah.

1:27:44 Drew Not only that.

1:27:45 Adam But, Jenna?

1:27:47 Drew Yeah.

1:27:48 Adam 528 in what period of time?

1:27:50 Caller 19 months.

1:27:52 Drew So what's 19 times 30?

1:27:53 Adam So it's about 600.

1:27:54 Caller About a year and a half.

1:27:55 Drew It's about once a day, right?

1:27:57 Caller Roughly.

1:27:58 Caller That's pretty good. That's great.

1:27:59 Drew God bless you. So what is the question? I'm not sure I understand the question.

1:28:03 Adam How do you tally it?

1:28:05 Caller Like penetrative sex, like just you write it down. I also write down like if it's anywhere interesting.

1:28:10 Adam Right. I understand.

1:28:12 Drew Do you have a diary or something?

1:28:14 Caller Yeah.

1:28:15 Adam Well, it used to be. Now it looks like a phone book. But you know what's lovely about women? Guys, hold on one second because I just need an amen here. Jenna's 20. Jenna gets up to 1,300 times in as many days with the guy, chronicles each one of them in painstaking detail. They get engaged but he ends up banging her best friend six months later, they break up. Somewhere down the line you enter Jenna's life. Now you're dating Jenna. You're getting pretty serious. It is that time you're live, you're starting to think about settling down and Jenna goes away to Vegas for a weekend with four of her friends who were from Michigan where they grew up and they're having girls night. And you're alone in the place and one night you're looking for scissors and out slides this lovely book. It's bound in leather and you open it up and the first page, number one, he banged me against the crapper in the downstairs bathroom. Turn the page. By the time you get to 1427, we screwed on the space shuttle. I mean, women love to chronicle this stuff. What they don't realize is they then take all of this documentation into their next relationship, gather some more documents, move into a next one. I mean, she's 20. By the time she settles in at 27 with some guy, this guy has a dossier for sexual encounters. It's like the Watergate hearings.

1:29:59 Drew It does point out the difference between how men and women perceive that. For women, those are episodes of romance, of connectedness. For men, it's like, hey, it's sex jackets.

1:30:07 Adam The next son of a bitch who has to get hold of that diary, though. All right, Jenna.

1:30:12 Caller You want something even more entertaining? Writing it down with his idea.

1:30:16 Adam Oh, no.

1:30:19 Caller You're not marrying him.

1:30:20 Caller Oh, yes, I am.

1:30:21 Adam All right, you better. That's it. And the day you guys divorce is the day you burn that pile.

1:30:26 Caller Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:30:27 Drew There's something diabolical in this.

1:30:30 Adam He writes it down.

1:30:31 Drew No, she has this dossier. And make sure guys come across it. They're going to be like, oh, no, no, I can't.

1:30:38 Adam Yeah, that's good. Got to make you wear it around your neck. All right, Jenna. So you never stop having sex.

1:30:45 Caller No.

1:30:45 Adam Day number forty five. He pulls out to get drink of water and is back in five minutes. All right. So what's up?

1:30:52 Caller Just wondering what the medical classification for a nymphomaniac was and how close I am to that.

1:31:00 Drew Well, it's usually, it has nothing really to do with the frequency so much as the consequences of the behavior. In other words, if you're doing it in situations that are dangerous or potentially harmful, yeah, and then, or if there's progressivity, worsening of the intensity of the risk and the kinds of things that are happening as a result of the behavior, losing money, losing jobs.

1:31:22 Adam What's up with this guy wanting it documented, though? That's strange.

1:31:27 Caller Probably a tiny little bit of obsessive-compulsive. He's pretty much a perfectionist.

1:31:33 Drew Is he an accountant or something?

1:31:35 Caller Creative writing major. Poet, writer, yeah.

1:31:40 Adam All right. So now, does he ever criticize you for not writing with enough flair?

1:31:45 Caller Actually, no. I was in debate in high school and I can write just as well as he does.

1:31:50 Adam Fantastic.

1:31:51 Caller So what you guys are doing is performance art.

1:31:54 Caller Yeah, you could call it that.

1:31:56 Adam All right, Jenna.

1:31:57 Caller All right.

1:31:57 Adam Don't have any kids for a little while. You're both going to screw them up. Okay.

1:32:00 Drew Please.

1:32:01 Caller Talk to you later.

1:32:02 Adam These two are sane, but it's sort of, yeah.

1:32:05 Caller He's grading her paper, I think, is what is happening there.

1:32:08 Adam Yeah. That is not the plan. The objective is to try to stick the paper together, not grade it.

1:32:14 Drew Matthew.

1:32:14 Adam Matthew, what's up? Yeah.

1:32:18 Caller Well, my question is, I smoke on a weed every day.

1:32:22 Drew No kidding. Hold on.

1:32:24 Adam Let me scrape Drew up off the carpet. He is flabbergasted.

1:32:28 Caller I bet.

1:32:29 Adam In all his years of training, he never has been fooled this way. All right, Matthew.

1:32:34 Caller Yeah. But I was wondering, what is the effect of, because I have chronic bronchitis?

1:32:40 Drew Chronic bronchitis is a routine complication of marijuana use. That's pretty much everybody gets that.

1:32:44 Adam Baffled, aren't you?

1:32:45 Drew Yeah. That's shocking.

1:32:46 Caller Everybody gets it?

1:32:47 Drew If you smoke a lot of pot, everybody gets it. It just sort of absolutely does that. It's a routine deal. But whether or not it causes emphysema is debate, whether or not it causes lung cancer or heart disease, probably not. There's some concern about lung cancer. And then the overwhelming concern obviously is what it does to your brain.

1:33:05 Caller Makes you pretty damn mellow, too, doesn't it?

1:33:08 Adam Yeah. Hey, man.

1:33:11 Caller One positive thing is I hear that you can tend to get really good at video games.

1:33:16 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because you get locked in. You are the video game. That's why.

1:33:20 Caller You're in it.

1:33:21 Adam You don't have distractions like peripheral vision and things like that.

1:33:23 Caller Really good at remembering the Domino's Pizza delivery number and stuff like that.

1:33:27 Adam All right. Hey, Matthew.

1:33:29 Caller Yeah.

1:33:30 Adam I know pot seems pretty harmless and pretty benign at this stage in your life, but it can ruin you and it can screw you up.

1:33:36 Caller Yeah, that's one thing.

1:33:37 Adam You may be a good candidate for that.

1:33:38 Caller Shrinks your brain too.

1:33:39 Drew Shrinks it? Yes, it does, in fact. There's good evidence, particularly the parts of the brain in your age group, the right frontal lobe seems to be affected most, which is the one you're supposed to be using as you go through school.

1:33:51 Adam But here's the good news. Your brain shrinks, but your breasts grow. So it does even out. That's true. That's what happened. That's a bad hand.

1:34:04 Drew So how old is he now? It's like one of those little squeezy devices with the guys that you squeeze in their eyeballs, their ears. Yeah, squeeze his head, boobs can fly out.

1:34:12 Adam Yeah, and the nuts suck up too.

1:34:13 Caller So in 10 years, they'll be wearing a man's ear. I see they do.

1:34:15 Adam Drew, you ought to come up with a little squeezy stoner doll.

1:34:19 Caller Yes, Adam.

1:34:21 Adam Try to message home to the kids.

1:34:22 Drew This is the best idea you've ever had. This is it.

1:34:24 Adam It was yours, buddy. All right, we're going to take a little break. Stone Temple Pilots are here and we'll be back after this.

1:34:29 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:34:32 Caller Well, it's worth hearing.

1:35:04 Adam Well, there you have it, another fantastic episode of the Best of Loveline. So, tune in again Sunday night when you can find me dutifully doing my job and Dr. Drew dutifully making a duty. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Ha ha, well now.

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Thursday, June 22, 2000