Episode 1000754887161

3:01 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

3:10 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

3:12 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

3:14 Voiceover Loveline.

3:16 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew. Don't worry, he's a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, specializing in tattoo removal of inmates and emergency medicine.

3:31 Drew Don't laugh when you describe me.

3:33 Adam It's always funny. I spit that come out, Bruce. Have a monocle of respectability here for Christ's sake. Yes. All right. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number 310-8-5-4-44-55. William McNamara and Charlotte Ross are both here from Beggars and Choosers. Showtime, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock, and let's see. We'll talk about that in just one second. I must remind everyone that the Man Show is on right now on the fabulous Comedy Central. I just left the Man Show Rap Party, so I'm pissed and I got a little beer buzz going, but I hate having to cut out of parties to come do this God-forsaken show. Yes, but that's all right. I'll be back to close the Mother Down in about two hours and fifteen minutes.

4:22 Drew Can I go with you?

4:23 Adam No, you cannot. This is only for party people. Beggars and Choosers was, I heard from producer Anne, one of the last projects that Brandon Tartikoff worked on before he passed away. It must have been, I guess he passed away when it was about three years ago now, right? Yeah. And Brandon Tartikoff, I can't figure out what my relationship with him was, but he did Loveline, the TV show, when it was syndicated, before it was on MTV. It's a long story, but I had a chance to meet him a couple of times. One of the nicest guys I've ever met. I can't believe he was such a huge mogul in Hollywood, because he was not a prick at all. Just a great all-around guy. Right.

5:07 Guest That's what's so ironic about it. And he kind of is semi-autobiographically played by Brian Kerwin, and we are the kind of sharks that surround him. And he has some worlds in a world that doesn't have very many sometimes.

5:20 He left the business when his daughter got sick. He actually quit to go be with her.

5:25 Adam Didn't his daughter get into some kind of catastrophic accident?

5:28 Car accident?

5:29 Guest New Orleans, yeah.

5:30 Adam Right.

5:30 And then he just left. He quit and went down to be with her to help her sort of rehabilitate her.

5:35 Adam And then he started to sort of drift back into the business. And then he got, I'm guessing, cancer or something. I don't know what. And he must have been fairly young when he died. I mean, mid-late 40s or something like that. But I'll tell you, I wish everyone in this business would die but not Brandon Tartikoff. He was a great guy.

5:59 Guest He was a class act, yes.

6:01 Adam Yes. And Los Angeles Times, by the way, calls Beggars and Choosers one of the top five shows of last year. So anyone who hasn't seen it on Showtime should definitely check it out. And my old friend Tom Shales, who's over at the Washington Post, is a big fan of William here, calls him a brilliant young actor. I happen to think Tom Shales is a big fat fag. I knew it. I knew it. That fag blowhard. I really hate that guy. Oh my God. God, that guy wrote a review of me. He called me Neanderthal and a pig and a chromagnum. That's not true. If I brought the thing in, I could never do it justice unless you read it.

6:45 Drew At what point did he devolve from reality?

6:48 Adam He was right on. But listen, if anyone, I've done this before, I brought the review in, and this is the best part about having a live radio show and being on in Washington, DC., anyone knows Tom Shales, please tell him Adam Carolla said he could kiss his hairy ass.

7:03 Guest Well, we at Beggars and Choosers love him.

7:04 Thank you.

7:05 Guest We're very thankful that he happens to like our show.

7:07 And Howard Rosenberg. Don't you love having a bad review? Isn't it great having a bad review?

7:10 I love it.

7:10 It better be a good review.

7:12 Adam This is comically bad. I mean, this is exactly isn't it great? He said I have no showmanship, he said, which by the way, that's that's code for gay, by the way. When you're complaining about lack of showmanship, it means you're blowing guys. It really does. All right. So anyway, Tom Shales, you can turn it on Comedy Central and watch a man show tonight and turn it in for the next 24 Sunday nights. And you can watch more. You can watch more man show and then more love lines. You big fat blowhard. Keep writing. Keep writing. You big tub of lard. Oh, keep writing. And I'll laugh all the way to the bank, you big blowhard.

7:52 Drew How do you feel?

7:53 Adam Oh, I hate that big fat homo. I just do.

7:55 Best show on television, the man show.

7:57 Adam Oh, that's Jesse the Body Ventura calling the man show the best show on television.

8:01 Drew Do you do anything for the gay population on your man show?

8:04 Adam Oh, yeah. We make fun of them all the time. All right. So what can we look forward to this Tuesday, by the way, when Beggars and Choosers hits Showtime?

8:13 Got some good gay stuff in there.

8:14 Adam Oh, good. We make fun of gays.

8:16 Guest We do.

8:16 Adam Not fun of them.

8:17 We have some good gay stuff in there.

8:18 Guest We actually do show a casting director, Tuck Watkins plays a casting director named Malcolm, and he happens to be a very good casting director who happens to work in Hollywood, and people want to pigeonhole him just because he's gay. He just happens to be gay and a very good casting director.

8:33 Adam I mean, you guys have been in the industry for a little while.

8:35 There's a lot of gay people around.

8:36 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. That's who it's run by, and I have no problem with that except for Tom Schales, a big fat homo. But other than that, I have no problem with the gays.

8:47 Guest I'm sorry, the question was what?

8:49 Adam Well, I mean, how close? I mean, you guys are sort of in a way, you have an interesting opportunity because you're mimicking the business that you're in.

8:57 Guest Well, it's always fun to make fun of the political side of any business that you've chosen, whether it's Wall Street or anything else. I've always had a fascination with the political side of the career that's run my life for the last 15 years. For example, overnight ratings or reviews, for example. So here we get to kind of make fun of all those things that are very important and we kind of forget as artists the bottom line and the business side. It's written really well by Peter Lefcourt and it kind of is based in truth, but it's also kind of out there in a comedy sense as well.

9:27 There's some gay stuff too. Oh good.

9:29 Adam Make fun of those.

9:30 Drew You're going to be a bad influence on this guy. I predicted it earlier.

9:33 Adam Way too late for that.

9:34 We got some girls, a lot of girls, a lot of boobs.

9:36 Adam Oh good. Yeah. Well, it's showtime. You can do what you want.

9:39 Drew Here is homophobia right here.

9:41 Guest Homophobia in its truest sense means that you're-

9:43 Adam It's a fun show.

9:43 Drew No, that's right.

9:44 Adam I love the gays. I really do, except for that Tom Shales.

9:48 Drew Adam has his butt hairs trimmed on a regular basis.

9:50 Adam Thank you. Cammie?

9:52 Yes.

9:52 Adam You're 16?

9:53 Caller Yes.

9:53 Adam What's up?

9:55 I read in Glamour magazine that half of all women are born without a hymen. I was wondering if this is true.

10:02 Caller What's a hymen?

10:02 Adam Yes. Those are men.

10:03 Caller What's a hymen?

10:04 Oh my God.

10:06 Drew I missed that medical journal last week.

10:07 Adam Yeah. I'd have to say it's a much lower percentage than that.

10:11 Drew Well, one of the confusing things, it's a partial membrane and it can break in circumstances like horseback riding, the typical stories that you hear. So, it's...

10:20 Caller Oh, you mean like the virgins have the hymens. You have to break it.

10:23 Drew Or in Adam's case, a B hymen or whatever you call it.

10:26 Adam The gays have the B hymen. It's a slight variation.

10:30 Disgusting.

10:31 Drew I want to cover all bases, make sure Adam gets his teaching in.

10:35 Adam Yes. So, what percentage of women you think are born without one? It's pretty low, right?

10:41 Drew Yeah.

10:42 Adam But there may be a higher percentage that loses it somewhere along the line. Right. That's what Bruce is saying.

10:46 Right. If they lost it, like...

10:48 Adam Where's yours?

10:49 Huh?

10:50 Adam Do you have one?

10:51 No.

10:52 Adam And...

10:52 Caller Have you ever had one?

10:53 I never had one.

10:54 Caller You never had one? Are you a virgin?

10:58 I'm not going to answer that.

10:59 Caller Oh, so that's where you lost it. That's where it is.

11:02 Drew There are remnants of that tissue. I'm sure you have remnants of that tissue. You did have that tissue there. It's just not always...

11:09 It's an old question.

11:09 Drew It's not that important.

11:10 Generally.

11:11 Adam All right, Cammie. Fantastic. Listen, here's the problem. When you name your kid Cammie, she's going to lose that hymen at a much earlier age. All right, Cammie. Good times, right? Okay. All right. Angela? Yeah. Well, she's fine. She's not a virgin, but she's missing her hymen, but it was probably gone long before it was taken in the back of that El Camino. Angela? You're 15. What's up?

11:35 Caller My boyfriend's really, really prude. He barely even wants to kiss, and I want to have some tips on how to deprude him.

11:42 Caller He might be gay.

11:44 Caller No. Yeah, I've seen him with his other girlfriend.

11:46 Caller Oh, you have? Yeah. And what did you do with her?

11:49 Caller He was all over him and everything, and he knows I'm really not prude, and he just isn't getting the picture.

11:56 Adam You've seen him with his other girlfriends?

11:58 Caller Yeah, they happen to be mostly my best friends.

12:01 Drew How long have you been seeing him? Wait a second. So maybe he respects you and he didn't respect them. Uh-huh.

12:08 Adam What did you see him do?

12:10 Caller Well, he was always had his hands all over their ass. Always kissing them, always holding hands, hugging, flirting, everything. And with me, it's like barely kissing. Like maybe he'll brush up against me every once in a while and everything.

12:26 Drew Okay. What about intimacy? That's not intimacy. Hands on ass and brushing up or whatever. So how are you guys getting along? Do you talk? Do you communicate well?

12:34 Caller Yeah. Last week he told me he loved me and then he didn't call me for a couple of days.

12:41 Drew How old is he?

12:42 Adam He shook her hand and he went home.

12:44 Drew How old is the guy?

12:46 Caller 15.

12:46 Drew Okay. Listen, hey, he's normal. I like this guy.

12:48 Adam Yeah. He's 15. All bets are off.

12:51 Drew Yeah.

12:51 Adam I mean, it is interesting that she saw him with the other women being more affectionate, but he's 15.

12:59 Drew He should talk. Can we get him on with number three? His number.

13:04 Adam What's that?

13:05 Caller You want his number?

13:05 Adam Yeah. Why don't we get him on the phone and we'll get to the bottom of this.

13:07 Caller Let's see what's going on here.

13:09 Drew Okay.

13:10 Adam All right. Okay. Hold on.

13:12 Let me go grab it.

13:12 Adam This person can teach us. Can you get it? You got his phone number there, Angela?

13:16 Almost. Hold on. Almost.

13:18 Adam All right. What are you going to do, like three-way? Yeah. Do you know how to do that? I can't figure that out. All right. Hold on a second. We'll put you on hold and then we'll hop back with you. We'll just take one more call. Okay?

13:29 Okay.

13:30 Adam All right. Call him up. He's going to be humiliated. Andrea?

13:34 I have a question.

13:35 Adam Yes?

13:37 My boyfriend likes to experiment with cucumbers and bananas.

13:43 Adam I see.

13:44 Drew Well, I want to put him on with the other boy.

13:45 Adam Oh, shut up. You're 14 years old.

13:48 Caller Yeah, that's the whole point.

13:49 Caller You're having sex at 14?

13:51 Drew With cucumbers and bananas.

13:53 Adam She's like Carmen Miranda in her underpants over there.

13:55 Drew Now, he's 14 also.

13:57 Caller No, he's 16.

14:00 Adam And so you're having sex with him, right?

14:02 Caller And I don't, because he's like lately, you know, been wanting to use other stuff, and I'm just like...

14:09 Adam Like what?

14:10 Guest Like cucumbers.

14:11 Caller Well, yeah, we've already tried the cucumbers.

14:14 Guest Is that a safe thing to do, doctor?

14:16 Adam Yeah, what about... I'm putting on hold because she's just standing too close to the transformer. You know the thing in Dr. Frankenstein's lab?

14:23 Drew Aliens in the line there or something.

14:24 Adam All right, shut up, Bruce.

14:25 Drew I recommend organic cucumbers, actually.

14:27 Adam Bruce, have you drank too much coffee tonight?

14:30 Drew No, this is my first time.

14:31 Guest Would you recommend to young girls that they use cucumbers?

14:33 Drew Listen, foreign objects, first of all, at 16 and 14, there should be a lot of other things to do. It sounds like this guy has a problem. It sounds like I'd stay away from him. OK, so putting objects like cucumbers and bananas internally is not a good idea. OK?

14:50 Caller Why?

14:51 Drew Because sometimes things break off or get stuck.

14:55 Guest A little bacteria, call me crazy.

14:57 Adam Right, right.

14:58 Caller What you could do, you could put a rubber over the cucumber. That's what I do.

15:02 You could put a rubber over the cucumber.

15:03 Adam You do that?

15:04 Guest I would triple it, triple it.

15:06 Adam Why the dildo, though? I mean, why not just do that thing I do with the armpit where I put my t-shirt down and then give it a good wipesy? Isn't that enough?

15:13 Guest I don't understand what you're talking about.

15:15 Caller That's disgusting.

15:16 Adam But you don't do that armpit thing where you clamp down like that?

15:18 Caller What's that?

15:19 Adam You know, just wipe off whatever may be living on it. You don't do that with the dildo?

15:25 Guest No, I'll look into it.

15:26 Adam Yeah.

15:26 Caller But we eat cucumbers. We put cucumbers in our mouth. Why can't we put them in our vaginas?

15:30 Adam Let me explain, William. Young, naive William. The vagina is a very tricky territory. It's like some kind of Rubik's Cube.

15:38 Guest Explain it to us, then, please.

15:40 Adam Well, here's the deal. You introduce anything foreign into the vagina and it could just go south on you almost immediately. I mean, women have sex and it's next thing you know, they got some kind of yeast infection and their bladder's screwed up.

15:52 Guest It's from guys like.

15:53 Adam Peeing all the time. I mean, it's really, it wasn't even made for sex. I think it was just made to look at. It's like, you know, the vagina, it's like a show car, you know, it's like it's got no engine under the hood. It just goes around on the turntable and you look at it and clap. As soon as you get in and try to drive it, something goes wrong with it.

16:10 Drew How much coffee have you had?

16:11 Adam Mostly beer, to be fair to me.

16:14 Guest That's even nuts on his mind.

16:15 Drew Andrea.

16:17 Adam You want to get Andrea back?

16:18 Drew I'd like to give her some beer.

16:18 Adam Well, you just told her not to do it, right?

16:20 Drew But a guy like this, this is a progressive thing. It's like a disorder and it's like an addiction. He's not going to be...

16:26 Adam Everybody does it. That's unbelievable. She's 14.

16:28 Guest It's not true.

16:30 Drew You should get rid of this guy, stay away from him. He's going to want to have progressive interest in more complex objects.

16:35 Guest Like a hamburger or something.

16:37 Adam Shut up, Bruce. He's going to put an artichoke in you.

16:43 Guest Oh, yes.

16:44 Adam Here's what you got to do tonight. No talking when I'm talking. That is the rule.

16:48 Drew You're going to shut my mic?

16:49 Adam Yes. If I have to, I'll shut your mic.

16:51 Drew It's humiliating.

16:53 Adam Bruce has two modes. He's either napping over there or he's auctioning off livestock. There's no in between with him. Angela?

17:00 Drew I study Drew and that's what I'm learning.

17:02 Adam Just quiet down. Angela? Did you call your boyfriend?

17:06 Caller Yeah, he's on blank.

17:08 Adam He is? All right. What's his name?

17:09 Caller Travis.

17:10 Adam Travis? Yes. Travis, this is Adam and William and Charlotte and Dr. Bruce, who's not going to be here for long, so enjoy it. All right. You listen to Loveline?

17:22 Caller Sometimes.

17:23 Adam You're familiar with the show, though, right?

17:24 Caller Yeah.

17:25 Adam All right. So your girlfriend Angela called up and she wanted to know why is it you were so affectionate with your old girlfriends and you don't seem as affectionate with her?

17:37 Caller I really don't have an answer to that one.

17:39 Adam You're gay. Drew, please, are you attracted to her?

17:43 Caller Yes, very much so.

17:44 Adam You find her to be a beautiful woman?

17:47 Yes.

17:48 Adam And you've kissed and hugged and groped and all that kind of stuff with your old girlfriends, right?

17:54 Yes.

17:54 Adam And why is it that you don't have those same feelings for Angela?

18:00 Drew I can explain it.

18:01 Adam Oh, shut up.

18:05 Caller I feel that we haven't really started off the relationship yet.

18:12 Adam You haven't? How long have you been going out?

18:15 Caller For about three weeks now.

18:16 Adam I see. So you're just kind of, you're getting into the groove.

18:21 Caller Yeah.

18:21 Adam But you are attracted to her, right?

18:24 Caller Yeah.

18:25 Adam And you look at her as a girlfriend, not as just a friend, right?

18:28 Caller Yeah.

18:29 Drew She's different than the other girls. You feel like it's more serious or she's more of more interest. Sounds like the other girls was fooling around, flirting and this sounds a little more serious.

18:38 Caller Yeah.

18:39 Guest Well, maybe you respect her and you're taking your time.

18:41 Drew Could that be it? Exactly.

18:43 Guest Because that's a good thing if that's true.

18:44 Caller Do you love her?

18:45 Drew Yes.

18:46 Adam You do.

18:47 Caller That's what it is then.

18:48 Adam Yeah. But wait a minute, Bruce is kind of giving you an easy out here and so is Charlotte.

18:52 Drew I understand that a lesson.

18:53 Adam I mean, listen, if you're-

18:54 Guest It's called romantic.

18:55 Wait.

18:56 Adam Travis, you're 16, right? 15. 15. When you're 15 and you're into a girl and you're in love with her, your hands are on her. I want to know why Travis's hands aren't on her.

19:08 Guest He's taking his time.

19:09 Adam She wants you to put your hands on her. Do you have an explanation for that? It's not because you like her too much. You know what I mean?

19:21 Caller Okay.

19:22 Adam You just look at her as a friend?

19:24 Caller No. I look at her as a girlfriend.

19:27 Guest As a potential long-term person, so maybe he's respecting her. And unlike a lot of guys out there, not rushing into, he's taking some time because he respects her.

19:34 Adam Good for you! I understand that. I understand that. But he should be putting his arm around her. He should be kissing her.

19:42 Guest He just said, why are you groping her?

19:45 Drew Can you send him a timeline?

19:46 Adam Angela, have you kissed him?

19:48 Caller Yeah.

19:49 Is it good?

19:50 Caller Yeah.

19:51 Caller What was the hesitation? What was that all about?

19:54 Caller I don't really want to.

19:57 Guest It was probably soft. You're just ready to...

19:59 Caller We have to get into this. This is important.

20:00 Caller Well, I've kind of had better.

20:03 Caller You've had better?

20:04 Adam Oh, that's all right. Listen, Travis.

20:07 Guest We all stepped back from the microphone.

20:09 Adam What do you want, Travis? You haven't been stepping up to the plate, buddy. Why don't you play one on her next time you see her?

20:16 Caller Okay, I'll do that.

20:17 Adam Oh, boy.

20:18 Drew I think his ego has just shattered.

20:19 Caller He sounds sweet.

20:20 Drew Yeah, he's a nice guy.

20:21 Adam I know, but Travis, remember all the kissing you were doing with your other girlfriends?

20:26 Yeah.

20:27 Adam Yeah, and you like Angela even more than them, right?

20:30 Yeah.

20:31 Adam So why not just kiss her a little more? He will. All right. Poor guy.

20:37 Caller Angela, how do you like to be kissed, Angela?

20:39 Caller Um, a lot.

20:41 Adam All right.

20:42 Caller With the tongue?

20:42 Caller Yeah.

20:43 Caller That's what.

20:44 Adam Hey, Travis.

20:45 Drew Maybe there's a fruit you can practice with.

20:46 Adam Travis, do you think you could give her a good kiss next time you see her? Listen, let me explain something. It took me many years to learn this, Travis. I'm going to impart some knowledge to you. All right? Listen up. Forget about what your instincts are for women. Do what they want. Your job is to try to figure out what they want and then do it. Not do what you want instinctively. That will get you nowhere. Disagree. Do you understand?

21:11 Yeah.

21:12 Adam All right. So she wants you to kiss her. Give her a kiss. All right?

21:16 All right.

21:16 Adam What do you care? All right. Angela? Yeah. Now tell Travis you'd like a nice kiss from him next time.

21:23 Caller Travis, I would like a nice kiss from you.

21:26 Deep.

21:27 Drew Corolla family therapy.

21:30 Adam All right, Travis?

21:31 Caller Especially on my birthday.

21:32 Adam Yeah. Fab. That's coming up.

21:34 Caller Yeah.

21:35 Adam OK.

21:35 Caller Feel her, grope her a little bit.

21:37 Adam Travis, Travis, if you're not into her, tell us. I mean, if you're not, if you don't feel that way, say something. Do you feel that way about her? You do?

21:47 Caller Yeah.

21:48 Adam All right. Well, now you have to act like it, all right?

21:50 Caller All right.

21:51 Adam All right, Travis. All right. Thanks, Angela.

21:53 Guest You're welcome.

21:53 Adam All right. Good times. Charlotte, why do you disagree with me when I say you have to figure out what women want and do it?

22:00 Guest Well, because you're telling a young man that happens to really care for someone. He's actually saying he's in love with her and saying just go for it, go for it. If maybe he's looking at the long-term and maybe he has some deep respect for her, I think it's really admirable, especially for a guy his age to want to take it slow.

22:13 Adam It's so funny.

22:14 Guest You're sitting here saying, no, no. Groper, Groper.

22:19 Adam What do you think this is? Cable?

22:22 Guest I thought it was Showtime. I'm so sorry.

22:24 Adam No.

22:24 Guest I went over the edge, didn't I?

22:26 Adam I agree with you. If we were talking about intercourse here or oral sex or something like that, and a couple of 15-year-olds, I would definitely agree with you. But she's talking about being affectionate, kissing, holding.

22:39 Caller She wants other things, too, though.

22:40 Adam Hugging. Well, she may. But she's saying that he's not putting his arm around her. He's not kissing her. He's not holding her. And that's what I'm talking about.

22:49 Caller Nervous. He's not well-endowed.

22:50 Guest No, no, no.

22:51 He's just nervous.

22:53 Adam William will not rest until one teenager kills himself before the 10 o'clock hours through. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. Hey, Ann, turn it on the man show. We're over at Snoop Dogg's house. Whatever. I know that's the one you wanted to see over there. We will take ourselves a little break. I got to yell Dr. Bruce and we'll be back after this.

23:18 That's my main main man name.

23:46 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Bruce is board certified. I swear to Christ he is. I know you don't believe me. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Forget about the fax number. William McNamara and Charlotte Ross are both here from Beggars and Choosers. Showtime, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock. Do not miss that. Coming up in two nights from now. All right, let's get to line one. I know, Bruce, you didn't pick that one out, but Melissa's angry, so I want to talk to her. Melissa? Melissa?

24:20 Guest What's up?

24:21 Adam You're 27. What's going on?

24:23 Guest Adam Corolla. What's up, Adam Corolla?

24:26 Adam All right. What do you want?

24:27 Well, you're a good choice, Adam.

24:32 Drew That's why they have me pick the call.

24:34 Adam But listen, I like to talk to people who disagree with me, but they cannot use the F word in the first sentence.

24:40 Guest I wonder if that's because of what we were talking about earlier or maybe not.

24:43 Adam I don't know. So far, Charlotte has used the F word twice, but we're tied up. Probably set a bad example.

24:50 Caller She might have been Tom Shell's daughter.

24:52 Guest Oh, you know what?

24:54 Adam Anne, speak to Melissa on line one over there. See if you can get her to tone down the profanity, and we'd be more than happy to talk to her. Unlike other talk shows, we really welcome people's negative input on this show. For my money, we don't get enough of it. Unacceptable. Too many people who agree with us, and I'd like to talk to some naysayers. I really wouldn't. I always pick them out. Megan?

25:17 Caller Yeah?

25:17 Adam You're 19. What's up?

25:18 Caller Hi.

25:20 Caller I have a boyfriend who has been dropping acid on a pretty regular basis, and I got in a conversation with him a few weeks ago, and he was saying how I said it seemed like he was being a bit excessive, the amount he was doing it, kind of not very healthy for him, and he kept telling me that as far as he researched it, and he knew what he was doing, and there were no real long-term effects of it. Yeah. I went and I looked it up a little bit, and as far as I can tell, flashbacks are pretty much all that they do. As far as long-term effects go, that's pretty much all that there is, and I was wondering if-

25:52 Drew No, that's not correct.

25:53 Caller Help me.

25:54 Drew People that use large-

25:56 Caller damage that it does, or what?

25:57 Adam All right. Quiet down there, Megan. Bruce, go ahead.

25:59 Drew Okay. There's no chromosomal damage. People that use large amounts of LSD over a period of time tend to have problems with anxiety disorders, depression later on in life. The other thing is it is addictive, not in the way that a drug which causes physical withdrawal is addictive, but people that use it and use it on a regular basis, they tend to have to use increasing amounts. People talk about doubling down where if they do two hits for a few days, and it doesn't do anything, they'll say, and they have to double that dose. So it is a problematic drug. It does have long-term consequences, and it's not as easy to find those things in the literature. I don't know where you looked, but it is a very bothersome drug. When physicians are talking to patients, because most patients hear a lot of the folklore about it, how it was used to expand the mind in the 60s. There's a lot of culture attached to it, and so I'll hear people that are in recovery and will say, well, I just want to use LSD. So it sometimes sneaks out as an innocuous drug. It's not that dangerous.

27:04 Caller Well, it's not easy to find good acid.

27:07 Adam I think that was Bruce's point. Megan, listen, here's what I know from doing this show, and talking to a lot of people have done a lot of acid. It does accumulate. It does have an effect over the years, and it's not a good effect. It really isn't. So your boyfriend is kidding himself. Now, to say you can't drop acid a couple of times and not have any harm, I wouldn't say that. But if you're going to do it every weekend and you're going to do it for a few months or a few years, it will add up, and it will affect him in the future.

27:40 Drew Does he have a family history of addictions or any other?

27:43 Caller Not as far as I know. The only problem is, I've tried to talk to him and he doesn't see it as something bad. He doesn't go, oh, it's bad. I shouldn't be doing it. He's always like, he sees it, he's really, really intelligent. He finds like logical ways to live.

27:54 Adam Well, listen, it is bad in the long term. And if you disagree with his ideology, you ought to break up with him. All right.

28:05 Caller Thank you.

28:05 Adam All right. There you go. All right. You want to go back to Melissa as Ann spoke to her. She cooled down a little. Let's see if we can do this. Melissa.

28:16 Guest Hey, Adam.

28:17 Adam All right. Please, mind your P's and Q's. Now, I'm putting you on the radio, but the second you use a swear word, we're going to hang up on you, OK?

28:24 Guest Adam.

28:25 Adam OK.

28:26 Guest Yes. OK.

28:27 Adam All right.

28:28 Guest I sincerely apologize because my enthusiasm for the cause overrode my tact.

28:34 Adam I understand. All right. So what's up?

28:36 Guest Well, so what I meant to say, first of all, what I meant to say to you was that you are that smart and you have that much to give to people, but you're so cocky that sometimes people can't get your gift because it's overridden by your intent desire to prove yourself.

28:53 Adam Listen, they're not paying me enough to get my gift. I give them a little present, a little stocking stuffer, but not the entire gift. You understand? I'm saving my gift for later.

29:03 Guest Oh, I guess that's your own money problem, isn't it?

29:07 Adam What is your second point?

29:08 Guest My second question is for Dr. Bruce in the fact that I've always wondered whether it was a hormonal thing or whether it was just supposed to be resolved by, you know, gripping your knuckles to the Bible and saying it wasn't to be so. Either way, I really like chicks.

29:26 Adam I see. I think that was for you, Adam. Right. You like the ladies? You've always liked them?

29:31 Guest I do, but I'm not... I'm a very attractive woman. I've had male experiences and I love boys, but there's a stronger draw. And I was wondering, because I went to an endocrinologist. I haven't had regular, like, you know, bleeding patterns. I'm not a menstrual woman, as they say. And so I went to an endocrinologist because I was curious as to whether they had an effect and to the difference.

29:53 Adam It's an old blues song, I'm not a menstrual woman.

29:55 Have you heard that one?

29:58 Guest It was the case because I'd love a lot more women than this. But the doctor, he was like, you're unusually her suit.

30:05 Adam Oh, man, that's not a good sign. So you have a lot of hair on you, huh?

30:09 Guest But I'm a little, I'm like hot and sexy, yet I have a little beard line.

30:12 Adam What is it? You're like a little chinchilla.

30:15 Caller Where's the beard line?

30:16 Guest It's in my chin.

30:17 Adam I'm going around the, I'm guessing around the chin and jaw area.

30:21 Guest That's pronounced in other women like.

30:23 Adam I see. So, all right. So you may have a little, you may have maybe got some kind of tumor that's putting something off or something.

30:30 Guest I don't believe there's a tumor. What I'm asking is whether there is an endocrine related, it's raw towards the female species or the appreciation thereof, or whether I should just discount it to some sin I'm supposed to be unaccustomed to.

30:42 Adam All right. Bruce, what about people that are producing abnormal amounts of hair?

30:47 Drew Androgens are, you have your male and your female hormones. Basically, the balance is different in the normal range. And the amount of hair that you're describing doesn't sound like it's that abnormal. If you went to an endocrinologist, he did the examination and testing that would look for serious causes of excess.

31:08 Adam Did he do that?

31:09 Guest Honey, it's on my chest. It's on my back.

31:11 Drew Hold on.

31:12 Adam I'm going to masturbate. Did, but listen, did the guy run the battery of tests on you? Make sure you didn't have any problem with your thyroid or something?

31:23 Guest No, I don't have the money for the test. I don't have a test, Adam. I live in the Valley. What are you talking about?

31:27 Adam Oh, listen, honey, I grew up in the Valley. I got money for tests. What part of the Valley in?

31:32 Caller He's got hair on his back, too.

31:34 Adam That's right. Backside, that is. What part of the Valley in?

31:38 Guest North Hollywood on Victory, honey.

31:39 Adam North Hollywood. Oh, Jesus Christ, you got to get out of there. That's what's putting hair on you. I grew up in North Hollywood. That place is a dump. You know, you know, people sort of wax on poetically about their hometowns? North Hollywood, dump. I recommend everyone get out of it immediately, please. And especially Victory. What's your cross street?

31:59 Guest My cross street is Fulton.

32:00 Adam No, kill yourself. Forget about leaving. Just kill yourself tonight.

32:05 Guest The Valley.

32:05 Adam Fulton and Victory. Holy Christ. You're right on the border of Van Nuys.

32:10 Guest That's my hairy dilemma.

32:11 Adam Oh, my God. North Hollywood, Van Nuys border. It's really, I swear to Christ, North Hollywood and Van Nuys, the border of that, it'd be like if you could get Guadalajara up against Beirut. If there somehow was a border between those two cities, that's what that would be like.

32:29 Drew So she's in a high stress.

32:29 Adam She has to just kill herself. Forget about the endocrinologist. Just kill yourself. Don't even move. They'll find your body. They'll move it later. The hair will fall out after you stop breathing.

32:40 Drew I was trying to understand exactly what the question was.

32:42 Adam I don't know. She went to an endocrinologist, but she didn't have money for tests.

32:46 Drew She has hair suitism.

32:48 Guest In my uneducated opinion, I would say that just because you have hair or no hair does not mean you're going to be in love with one sex more than the other. I don't think they have any correlation.

32:56 Adam Okay. But go to a specialist. Go to... Listen, hold on. Melissa? Melissa, go down to County USC. Go to some county college.

33:07 Guest Assuming that I'm prescribing my own situation just due to an abnormally hairy condition, that would be negating my intelligence as a human being.

33:17 Drew Have you become more aggressive recently along with the hair or any other...

33:21 Guest Testosterone is a drug, just the same as anything else.

33:24 Adam Thank you. Hey, Melissa.

33:26 Drew Follow up with your doctor.

33:27 Adam Listen, the hair may be... there may be a symptom of something that's wrong with you. You should go get yourself checked out, okay?

33:35 Guest Okay.

33:36 Adam All right?

33:37 Guest What?

33:37 Adam All right. Get yourself checked out. Whatever it is you're doing, stop it. It's not working. That's my point. I don't know what you're doing. Stop doing it. I don't know if she's praying. I don't know if she's drinking. Whatever it is, it's not working out for her. Got to get out of North Hollywood.

33:54 Drew She's got a Loveline tri-corner, like on...

33:56 Adam She said she was on around Victory and Fulton. That's even... People living in North Hollywood even make fun of that area of North Hollywood. That is crap Hollywood over there. Sean? Sean? Oh, yes, you're 17. What's up?

34:12 Caller Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to say, man, you're freaking cool.

34:16 Adam All right, thank you.

34:18 Caller And Bruce, I like you better than Dr. Drew.

34:20 Adam Really? That's the first time I've ever heard that, and he's been throwing in for four years.

34:26 Drew Let's talk about Adam's poor judgment in certain situations. Please. Sean?

34:31 Adam What's up there, Sean?

34:32 All right.

34:32 Caller Well, I had this ex-girlfriend, right? And every time I'd go down on her, I would nearly vomit.

34:42 Adam But she didn't vomit, right?

34:44 Caller One time I did.

34:45 One time?

34:46 Adam No, you didn't! Where did she vomit?

34:49 Caller Where did I vomit?

34:50 Adam Where?

34:52 Caller Between her legs.

34:53 Adam Really?

34:54 Caller Yeah.

34:54 Adam Oh, my God. I bet she loved it. That's gonna be great for her. Ten years of therapy for her. Oh, my God. But that does. How old is she?

35:03 Caller She was fifteen.

35:05 Adam Oh, you know what that does to a fifteen-year-old girl?

35:07 Guest So, what was wrong with her or you?

35:09 Caller What made you vomit?

35:11 Caller Well, I mean, it's not like the normal smell. I mean, this stuff smells like...

35:17 Adam Alright. We understand. But listen...

35:20 Caller Diflucan.

35:21 Right, Doc?

35:23 Adam You have a new girlfriend now, right?

35:25 Caller No, I'm single.

35:27 Adam Okay. Well, listen, the next one you find won't smell that bad.

35:30 Caller Well, I was just kind of curious what would cause something that got awful.

35:34 Drew Yeah, he's got post-traumatic stress disorder on top of it.

35:36 Adam He's like a Vietnam veteran. Yeah. Listen, she could have had some kind of infection.

35:41 Drew Right.

35:41 Adam God only knows. And listen, as you get older, you develop a taste for that.

35:44 Drew Oh.

35:46 Adam No, but let me explain for a second.

35:49 Drew I hear sushi analogies now.

35:51 Adam No. Okay, but that's not a bad analogy. Here's what I'm saying. You take a guy who's 15, 16, 17 years old, you give him a little caviar, he'll spit it right out, right? You give him a nice Cuban cigar, he's going to throw up. You give him a shot of beautiful brandy, he's going to spit that back out in your face. All good things. I mean, expensive things, sought after things, right? No good at 15, 16. But you give that same guy 35, that brandy, that caviar, that Cuban cigar, he's all over it. He's spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to get some of that brandy, that cigar. That's an acquired taste. Vagina, same thing. What if you get into it as you get older?

36:30 Guest My guess is that she probably had an infection or something.

36:34 Adam That may be possible, but also you do develop a sort of taste for it.

36:38 Guest Acquired taste, you're saying?

36:39 Guest I see what you're saying.

36:40 Caller Was it the vagina?

36:41 Drew Have you acquired a taste for the rotting food in your refrigerator at your house? Is that another analogy we can use?

36:47 Adam I don't enjoy it, but I will eat it, yes.

36:50 Guest When you were younger, you thought it was bad and now you're excited about it?

36:55 Adam Here's what I'm saying. I didn't like, for instance, beer when I was 15. I had to close my eyes and chug it down. Now I'm an alcoholic. Do you know what I'm saying?

37:05 Guest But you didn't ask my question.

37:06 Adam Oh, you're talking about vagina?

37:07 Guest Yes, specifically just what you were telling him.

37:10 Adam I'll tell you, as the years have worn on, I've become more and more accustomed to it and now even, I would say I love it now.

37:18 Guest But you were saying you were freaked out as much as he was, maybe, when you first started?

37:22 Adam No, but I didn't do too much of that at too early an age, so I don't really know. I mean, I'm sure if I'd had one in my mouth at 14, 15 years old, I may have had some reaction, but I didn't consistently have vagina in my mouth until maybe I was like 19 or something. You know, sporadic.

37:41 Drew How old was he again?

37:42 Adam He was 17. It was about that age where he should start sort of growing out of that. And I'm not saying she didn't have a problem.

37:49 Guest For all we know, she could have.

37:51 Adam But you don't throw up when you get older. You work that out. You do what I do. You know the stuff the coroner uses when they pull the body out of the swamp, that little stuff they put on their upper lip like the silence of the land? Oh, that's so wrong. Stop. I put a little shot of that on the upper lip before I get down there.

38:07 Guest That's wrong.

38:07 Adam The chicks like the mentholatum.

38:09 Guest And I wonder if you smell like roses anyway.

38:13 Drew That's a good point. That's a very good point.

38:15 Adam Thankfully, I talc up before the day.

38:17 Guest We women have to hold our noses.

38:18 Adam Yeah, you're right.

38:20 Drew The important thing for everybody to understand is that, as you mentioned, it can be an infection. A pelvic exam is extremely important.

38:25 Adam Well, it's all water under the bridge now because they've long since broken up. Mike? Mike? Caller who goes by the name Mike. You're 17. Our callers are so stoned, they use a fake name and then they don't respond to it. It happens every night. Mike, what's up?

38:46 Caller Well, I masturbate and I got warts on my hands and I was wondering if you guys could tell me if that's what causes it or...

38:53 Drew Mike, you've come to the master of the masturbation universe, Adam Corolla. Go ahead, Adam.

38:58 Adam All right. I'm going to take a quick break here, Mike. I've got to masturbate because now you brought it up. My rule is if someone brings up masturbation, I have to masturbate within two minutes.

39:11 Guest I think I'll take a walk.

39:12 Adam So Mike, I'm going to go have myself in the bathroom, okay? Yeah, just hang on and we'll answer that question, all right?

39:21 Guest Okay.

39:21 Adam All right. William and Charlotte are both here from Beggars and Choosers. Showtime, Tuesday night, 10 o'clock. We'll take a little break and we'll be back after that.

39:34 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

40:05 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. I'm everywhere, everyone. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew, who'll be back in here in just a few short days. Dr. Bruce, somebody dropped a nickel in Poughkeepsie, and Bruce, pardon me, Drew, hopped on the first plane and went over there to go pick it up. He is such a whore, Dr. Drew. Oh, my God, is he a whore. Anywhere. Listen, you want Dr. Drew to come to your party, give him ten bucks. He'll be there. Forget about the show. He's going to be there.

40:39 Drew To change the subject, can I ask you one question? I was having a nightmare the other night. I was watching TV dozed off, and I woke up, and you were on Conan.

40:47 Adam Yes, that was true.

40:49 Drew You know what karma is?

40:50 Adam Horrible experience, by the way.

40:51 Drew Every time you've made fun of me for being nervous or choking out.

40:54 Guest Why was it horrible? Why were you so nervous?

40:56 Adam Oh, I wasn't nervous at all. It wasn't a great outing. But what were you saying, Bruce? What was your impression of it?

41:05 Drew Well, it didn't seem like you were excited to be there.

41:08 Adam Well, the audience was god awful. They hated me.

41:11 Drew Right. Something was going on between you and I couldn't tell.

41:14 Adam Something was going on between me and the audience. It was not a good thing.

41:18 Drew And it was like it looked like you'd flown there. You're going to fly back and you're going to get out of there as quickly as possible. Well, it didn't seem like a real happy.

41:26 Adam Conan was not that great and the audience sucked. And I was just mad at the audience. So mine was like, screw you. Because I came on there and I was just doing some jokes and some, I don't know, I don't even know what the hell I was doing.

41:40 Drew Did you have it prepared?

41:42 Adam Well, they give you, they basically do a pre-interview. And you have some sort of beats, some notions of what you're going to be talking about before you go on these shows. Let me explain to everyone, by the way, because I love just getting, I'll give everyone a little peek behind the curtain of Hollywood here. All these shows that you do, whether it's Letterman or Leno or Conan or whatever it is, any show they have producers, segment producers. Every guest you see on one of these shows is produced. You guys have done this, I'm sure. You know how it works. And they work the hell out of you. And they want to know everything that you're going to say on their show.

42:22 Guest But make it look impromptu.

42:23 Adam But make it look impromptu. So, Conan sits up there and he says, How was the flight? And you go, Oh, let me tell you about that flight. And then you do five minutes on airplane food. And then he says, And what's your family think about your recent success? Well, don't get me started on the family, Conan. But it's all been worked out in advance. And that's why some of this stuff comes up a little flat, to tell you the truth, because they're so worried. Those segment producers are so fearful for their job and so worried that segments not going to work out. That they basically run the thing dry before you even get out there. And what happens with the hosts, especially if they're not the most skilled, is all they're doing is reloading their next question. They're never in the moment. They're never listening to you. They're never having to listen to you. They're never having to have a dialogue with you. They're just reloading. They fire the question, how is the flight over? Now they're in the reloading process. You're talking and all it sounds like to them is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

43:24 Guest It was hilarious and that's the kind of stuff we make fun of on our show. All the make believe stuff that goes behind to make it all look real and impromptu and it's all mainly a lie.

43:31 Adam It drives me insane. I wish they would just let people who know how to talk get up there and just talk and I wish the host would just sort of join in and go down some road and see where it goes.

43:41 Drew It was like there was a conveyor belt and it could have been you coming out, it could have been David Drew and Bob Hope.

43:44 Adam He was just sitting there conveying the questions and the audience, who I couldn't stand, was not picking up with what I was putting down. So I turned on them and called them idiots.

43:56 Drew Something about women and misogyny.

43:58 Adam I just had an ass full of that audience. I didn't get insulted by everyone's stupid lesbians. Let me also set something straight here too, speaking of Tom Shales. I brought that review. They said, Any Bad Reviews for the Man Show. I said, I got a great one by Tom Shales from The Washington Post. I brought it and they said, because they're pussies, do not bring up Tom Shales name on our show. Tom Shales just gave Conan a good review after giving him bad reviews. And we don't want to piss him off.

44:36 Guest So you did.

44:37 Adam And I went up there and I said, okay, I'll not bring up the guy's name. I said, this is a review from The Washington Post. And then I said, the guy was a big fat blowhard. You know, they then, when I saw it that night, cut out the part about The Washington Post. And they just went right halfway into the review. It was almost a non sequitur. They're such pussies. They're so scared of what Tom Shales is going to do to them over there. And this business.

45:05 Drew They may be hanging by a thread.

45:07 Adam Ass full of all of you. Believe me. And listen, any of you, you know, and people always say to me all the time, and I know people have had an ass full of me too, aren't you worried about Conan? Aren't you worried about Tom Shales? Aren't you worried about this? Aren't you worried about that? Kiss my ass, all of you. Right now, I could give a rat's ass about all you people. You think you're going to hurt my career? Go ahead. Bring it on, brother, you pussies.

45:28 Guest Would you say that if they gave you a great review and said how handsome you were and how fabulous you were?

45:31 Adam I'd still say, bring it on. You can do nothing to me because I'm better than all you pussies.

45:35 Drew One piece of advice, that suit, where did you get it?

45:37 Adam Just let it out. Thank you.

45:37 Drew Lose that suit.

45:38 Adam Oh, shut up, Bruce. I've had enough of you. When's Drew coming back? Mike?

45:43 Caller Yeah.

45:43 Adam All right, so you're 17. You have warts on your hand. You're worried you're going to transfer those warts to your penis, right?

45:52 Caller I'm not worried about that. I'm just wondering if masturbation is what caused the warts.

45:57 Adam On your hand? Yes. That and blindness?

46:00 Well, no.

46:03 Caller Masturbation does not cause blindness or loss of hearing.

46:07 Adam No, but what about warts? It does cause warts on the hands.

46:10 Something does.

46:12 Adam Yeah, I know. And something causes planes to fall out of the sky every once in a while, too. You think that's masturbation?

46:19 A lot of planes falling.

46:20 Adam All right, listen here, you jack-off. I've had enough of you. That's a nonquestion. Bruce, pick another call. I'm very fired up tonight, as you can see. He didn't care. That wasn't his question. He was just talking.

46:32 Drew Warts, genital warts, are so common, and it is such a problem, and it has been linked to cervical cancer. So it is important to mention that.

46:39 Adam He's not talking about...

46:41 I understand that.

46:42 Drew It is theoretically possible for these warts to go back and forth from hands, from different parts of the body.

46:47 Adam It theoretically doesn't happen, though.

46:49 Drew I've never heard about it.

46:51 Caller You can get them lasered right off.

46:52 Drew You don't see... Viruses are incorporated into the genome, into the chromosome. You don't really see most of the warts. So that's another great reason to use condoms, the secretions from... Sexual secretions have these viruses.

47:06 Adam Please, do your job.

47:07 Guest Just get yourself checked out.

47:09 Adam Justin?

47:10 Caller Yeah?

47:10 Adam You're 18. What's up?

47:12 Caller I'm not much. Just chilling.

47:14 Adam All right. Forget about him. He's just chilling. Well, just chill for a little while longer. Brandy?

47:21 Caller Hi.

47:21 Adam You're 23. What's up with you?

47:23 Caller Well, actually, I have a couple of issues.

47:25 All right.

47:26 Caller I was molested as a child at probably seven or eight, I think, and it was by an immediate family member.

47:33 Adam Which one?

47:35 Caller I don't really feel comfortable saying that, but...

47:38 Adam It's important, though. It does factor in. Was it uncle, father, brother?

47:43 Caller Older brother.

47:44 Caller Half brother, who I didn't live with for most of my life.

47:47 Adam And how old was he at the time?

47:49 Caller Oh, geez, probably 20.

47:52 Adam So he's a good 13 years older than you are? I see. Okay. So he was 20 and you were seven. How long did this go on?

48:01 Caller I really honestly don't remember, but I want to think probably about a year or a year and a half, maybe two.

48:07 Adam It's terrible. It's terrible. All right. And now what's the problem?

48:12 Caller Well, my parents were good providers and everything. I always had everything. They weren't there very much on the mental, emotional side.

48:19 Adam Right.

48:19 Caller When I was about 16 or 17, I had lots of problems, obviously because of my past. And I started smoking pot and probably smoked about an eighth a week or so. And then from about 19 to 22, I smoked about an eighth every two or three days.

48:35 Adam All right. There you go. Now, Brandy, hold on a second. We got to take a quick break, all right? All right. Now, your problem is you're smoking too much weed?

48:44 Caller Well, I have sexual dysfunction now. I-

48:47 Adam Join the club. Hold on a second. All right? We have to take this break and then we'll get back.

48:52 Drew It's an important call. Yeah, stay with us.

48:54 Adam Fix this thing up for you, all right? You'll be good as new when we're done with you, all right? Okay. All right. Hang on there. We'll take a quick break. We'll be back with Brandy after this.

49:03 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

49:06 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. That's Charlotte Ross and William McNamara, both here from Beggars and Choosers. Showtime, Tuesday nights at 10 o'clock. Charlotte, what were you saying?

49:59 Drew We're negotiating a heresy board.

50:01 Caller She was saying that Showtime wasn't a great network.

50:02 Adam No, I didn't.

50:03 Guest I did not.

50:04 Caller I did not.

50:06 Adam Listen, let me-

50:08 Guest Billy said something and I'm not getting any-

50:10 Adam I have-

50:11 Caller I love Showtime.

50:12 Adam We're just talking during the break about how crappy MTV was and about how crappy Showtime was.

50:17 Caller We didn't. No, that's not true.

50:19 Adam All right. I may have brought that up. But here's what I want to say about everyone. Everyone, no matter what business you're in, whether you're running a network or running a box factory.

50:29 Caller Or if you're Canadian.

50:30 Adam If you're MTV who's come to me many times and asked me to please stop talking about how crappy they are on interviews, and television, radio, and things like that. Here's your job, MTV. Don't bother me about what I'm saying about you. All you have to do is not be crappy and I won't talk bad about you. And it'll solve itself. In Showtime, you do the same thing. Don't worry about putting a spin on everything. Just clean up your own house. Right? Less externalizing, more internalizing. That's what we need to do. Take responsibility, all you crappy at-

50:59 Drew We should ask for your sage advice, Adam.

51:01 Adam That's right. Brandy?

51:02 Shut up, damn it!

51:04 Adam Brandy, you're 23.

51:06 Guest Yeah.

51:06 Adam What's going on?

51:08 Guest Well, I was telling-

51:09 Adam Oh, that's right, that's right. This is serious. Molested at seven, 20-year-old half-brother did this to you.

51:15 Caller Right.

51:16 Adam Where is he now? Does he have children?

51:18 Caller No, he doesn't have children. He's a loser.

51:20 Adam Oh, good.

51:21 Caller And by himself in another state.

51:23 Drew Did he get reported? Did he get reported?

51:25 Caller No.

51:25 Drew Did you go to therapy? Have you talked to anybody about this, a professional? No. All right.

51:30 Adam You must, Brandy. You can't work around this.

51:34 Drew It sounds like you understand you're addicted to marijuana where you were.

51:38 Excuse me? Yeah.

51:39 Adam What do you do for a living? Are you a stripper?

51:42 Caller No, actually, I'm professional. I work in a...

51:44 Adam Professional stripper?

51:46 Caller No. The safety industry.

51:48 Adam Public safety?

51:49 Caller Yeah.

51:50 Adam What do you do? Manufacture seatbelts and helmets?

51:53 Caller No. I work with security, private security.

51:58 Adam I see. All right. So you're doing all right. But your relationships aren't very good, are they?

52:03 Caller They're pretty dysfunctional.

52:06 Yeah.

52:07 Caller And that's another thing, is that I've never through any of the boyfriends I've ever had, no matter how close to them I was mentally or emotionally or sexually attracted to them, none of them have ever made me have an orgasm, not even during oral sex.

52:23 Drew Right. But I mean, you're so far from having to worry about having an orgasm. Your very choice of a boyfriend, your experience in the relationship, the addict, all these things are very complex and they're related to what happened to you. And until you just get out of a, with not being in a relationship, go to therapy, wait six or 12 months, work with your therapist, you'll find it's a totally different experience in the relationship. And there is happiness. You can work through this type of thing, but it is related to what happened to you. And it's not an excuse. And it is something that you'll benefit greatly from going to see somebody.

52:58 Adam Hey, Brandy. Brandy, listen to me. You don't have a choice. You really don't.

53:03 Drew Are you afraid to go?

53:04 Adam You have to see a therapist.

53:05 Drew Are you afraid to see somebody?

53:06 Caller I'm afraid to go. I work a lot. And most of the time, it's been money related. I haven't had enough.

53:10 Adam I know. But listen, listen. You have enough money to do this. If you want to do it, you'll do it.

53:16 Caller I know. I've looked into lots of programs.

53:18 Adam All right.

53:18 Caller And just recently, that is kind of on a sliding fee scale.

53:22 Adam Good. Do it. That's it. All the other problems aren't worth talking about right now.

53:26 Caller There's 12-step programs that are free.

53:28 Drew And that's a good point, because addictions are a primary problem once they start. This doesn't mean that if you get therapy for demolestation and you work on relationship problems, the addiction will go away. Addiction is now another primary problem you have, and you have to address that also. That's not bad news. That's good news. It means there are more answers to your situation.

53:46 Adam Listen, I've said it a thousand times. My dad missed a couple of Pop Warner football games. I'm going to therapy. You know what I'm saying? If I was molested, I'd be doing the show from the therapist's office. We put ISDN line in there. I'd be lying on the sofa with the microphone. You have to. If this kind of thing happened to you for this period of time by 20 year old, when you were 7 years old, you have to do it. Otherwise, it will run your life. Every relationship, everything. That's it. You have no choice. Jason? You're 17. What's up?

54:17 Caller This is Adam?

54:18 Adam Yes.

54:19 Caller Hey Adam, can I say one short thing and then you can answer my question?

54:22 Adam All right. But no cussing, please.

54:25 Caller I don't cuss that much.

54:26 Adam Okay.

54:27 Caller The Man Show?

54:28 Adam Yes.

54:29 Caller But once we had like one from Maryland and our power went out, I mean our cable, and I missed the Man Show and I'm all pissed off.

54:36 Adam Oh, that went out tonight?

54:38 Caller Yes.

54:39 Adam Oh, you missed us over at Snoop Dogg's house getting stoned with him.

54:44 Caller Snoop Dogg's my idol.

54:45 Adam Oh, you would have loved The Night Show.

54:47 Caller I know.

54:48 Drew You'll need therapy later on to miss that show.

54:50 Caller Not me.

54:50 Adam All right. Thanks, Jason. Now, what's your question?

54:53 Drew Okay.

54:53 Caller Once I masturbate, I masturbate 26 times.

54:58 Adam 26 times in what period of time?

55:00 Caller Like six times a month. I mean, six times a day.

55:04 Adam Six times a day?

55:05 Caller Yeah. Wow.

55:06 Adam Yeah, that's terrific. Quite a pace you're on there.

55:09 Drew In private, of course.

55:11 Adam You're making a serious run at my indoor record.

55:15 Caller What are the awesome twins from Playboyz, the twins?

55:19 Adam Yeah.

55:20 Caller I love them. They're hot.

55:21 Adam Yeah.

55:22 Caller They are.

55:22 Adam Yeah. You haven't spoken to them. That's why I think they're hot.

55:25 Caller Like the Juggies, too.

55:26 Adam Yeah, the Juggies are fine, though. I like them. All right. So what's your question, Jason?

55:32 Caller Once I masturbate, my skin peels.

55:35 Adam Nice.

55:36 Caller Me, too. Same thing.

55:38 Adam Really? Let me get that.

55:40 Caller Yeah.

55:41 Adam Yeah. Do you use lotion, Jason? I gotta use lotion.

55:44 Caller I just use the hand.

55:45 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah.

55:46 Caller It's very, very hard.

55:47 Adam All right. Well, take it easy on yourself.

55:49 Drew Jason, what kind of a dating life do you have?

55:53 Adam He's going out with a couple of models right now, I'm sure. Seventeen. He's jacking himself into oblivion. He lives in Maryland.

55:59 Drew I'll ask the question.

56:00 Adam He has no social life.

56:01 Drew When is it a problem? When are you masturbating too much? That's the question you should be asking.

56:05 Caller Once I can't get girls. And at the fire department, because I know years you didn't get to be a firefighter.

56:12 Adam You were in the fire department.

56:13 Drew Well, it sounds a little bit excessive and it sounds like you're pretty focused on this. And it sounds like it may be affecting other things in your life.

56:24 Caller Oh, God.

56:25 Drew The fire department. That's a new one.

56:29 Caller Masturbating fireman.

56:31 Adam Stop, drop and whack off. I think that's Jason's.

56:35 Drew All right.

56:36 Adam I've had enough of Jason. You know, so I don't know who was telling me over the weekend, but you know that stop, drop and roll thing that you're supposed to do when you're on fire?

56:44 Drew Fire, fire.

56:44 Adam Do they really need to put the stop in there? You know what I mean? Wouldn't you just fear drop and roll would about cover it? Do you need to stop? No.

56:53 Guest If you keep running, the flames.

56:56 Adam But listen, when you're on fire, you go down and you roll.

57:00 You don't stop and drop and roll.

57:02 Guest Then you get scared and you actually start running.

57:04 Adam Were you on fire?

57:05 Guest My arm was on fire, yeah.

57:06 Adam And you started running?

57:07 Guest I did. My mom pushed me down to stop, drop, and roll.

57:10 Adam Yeah, but you didn't stop. She tackled you.

57:13 Guest I wish I had stopped on my own. I probably wouldn't have frat.

57:15 Adam Were you free-basing? How did your arm catch on fire?

57:18 Guest No. My mom was making cheese fondue in the kitchen across from me. I was in my little pom-pom outfit and it came over like a little torch, and the actual fluid got on my arm.

57:29 Adam The sterno fluid that was under the fondue pot?

57:31 Guest Yes.

57:32 Adam Hey, listen, I'm a big fan of fondue and I don't know what happened to fondue.

57:37 Guest Fondue was very big for a while.

57:39 Adam Yeah, it was very popular.

57:40 Drew Seventies thing with disco and stuff.

57:42 Adam Yeah, fondue. You'd take a pot of cheese, you put a little sterno can under it, you keep it to the mold and then you dip a little of that in there.

57:50 Drew We have some tomorrow night, maybe a little retro party.

57:53 Adam Yeah, dip it. Yeah, I'm into that. I'm into that fondue.

57:59 Drew So stop, drop, and roll.

58:00 Adam Stop, drop, and roll everybody. Or just drop and roll. I don't think you need to stop. Tammy?

58:06 Drew It's very important.

58:07 Adam You're 17.

58:08 Caller I am.

58:09 Adam What's up?

58:10 Okay, first, I just want to say, Adam, I love you. I've been listening to the show for years.

58:15 Caller Thank you.

58:16 My question is, I see a lot of guys here and there, whatever, and every time we go out, I always feel like at the end of the date, I always feel obligated to do whatever they want to do.

58:30 Drew What do they want to do?

58:31 Well, I mean, I've never been like, they never wanted to have sex or anything, but making out or maybe a little farther than that.

58:41 Guest You feel obligated because why? They bought you dinner?

58:45 Well, not just because of people. I don't know why I feel obligated. I just feel like, you know, okay, they took me out, so they want to sit in the car and make out, so I'm going to sit in the car and make out with them because they want to.

58:56 Drew Yeah.

58:56 Adam So it's not so much that they took you out, but it's that your self-esteem is not in good condition, right? You have trouble saying no to people.

59:05 I don't think my self-esteem is that bad. I mean, I think highly of myself.

59:09 Drew Right. But it sounds like you have pretty good boundaries. I mean, you're not feeling obligated to have sex with everybody you go out with.

59:15 Adam Well, they haven't suggested it, but if they did, she might do it. But you can't assert yourself. You can't say, no, I don't want to do this, right?

59:23 Guest Yeah.

59:24 I mean, I do have trouble like saying no, like, I don't know. Like, everyone always says, oh, you know, if you want to get respect, you know, you got to say no and hold your ground. But then I'm like, well, if I say no, then, you know.

59:35 Adam Well, how often has it happened that you made out with someone you really didn't want to make out with?

59:41 Guest Well, a lot.

59:41 Like, maybe like ten times or something.

59:44 Guest Wow.

59:44 Drew No, but, you know, it's really good. You have insight. You're recognizing that there's a problem here in your personality or the way you deal with things. And this is something to work on. And you can avoid bigger problems later on. But it doesn't sound like you have major gaps in your ability to put up boundaries and to do the right thing.

1:00:04 Guest It might be actually harder for you mostly to string them along, ultimately. It might be easier if you're not really interested to not make out and not continue seeing them. I mean, if you're doing that all the time, are you seeing lots of people at the same time?

1:00:17 I'm seeing probably, like right now, I'm probably seeing like three guys.

1:00:20 Drew Wow.

1:00:22 Adam Jesus Christ. Hey, you're 17. What are you, Heidi Fleiss? Relax. How many of them do you like? None of them?

1:00:28 Caller Well, okay. That actually was another kind of question that I had is like, I'm always seeing a lot of guys, but I never have just one. I would really like to just have one.

1:00:38 Adam Well, listen, you're insecure. You need to find one that you like the best and go with that person. All right? Don't date three guys.

1:00:47 Caller Okay.

1:00:48 Drew All right? It is something you need to work on because it's just like being a victim. People can sniff it out. They can find you in a room of 100 people. And a guy will sense that she has a certain type of guy that wants to take advantage will find the person he can take advantage of. So as you start saying no and learning to do so and feel comfortable with it, you'll have less of these kinds of guys around that want to take advantage of you.

1:01:16 Adam Charlotte, you ever make out with a guy you didn't really want to make out with?

1:01:21 Drew No, I don't think so.

1:01:24 Adam Never happened?

1:01:25 Drew She slapped you in the ass.

1:01:26 Guest Maybe spin the bottle in 8th grade.

1:01:28 Adam Yeah, but not after that.

1:01:29 Drew She's the aggressor.

1:01:30 Guest No, I'm not the aggressor. I don't know what makes you think that.

1:01:33 Drew No, you're very assertive. That's what I should have said.

1:01:35 Caller Sheepards, clunkers.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah, you know what you want in a man, right?

1:01:39 Guest I think so, yeah.

1:01:41 Adam You're not going to waste your time with some clod.

1:01:43 Guest I'd really rather not. I'd like to find the right one, yes.

1:01:45 Adam I see. Yes, me too.

1:01:46 Drew I'm sorry.

1:01:47 Adam Assertive is a better word. You're assertive.

1:01:49 Guest Okay, way to the brink.

1:01:52 Guest What are we going to do during the brink?

1:01:53 Nothing, nothing, nothing.

1:01:56 Adam I don't think I've ever made out with anyone who didn't want to make out with me. They have no difficulty asserting them to me whatsoever.

1:02:03 Drew You're 100% on that one, right?

1:02:04 Adam Listen, I get the opposite and I swear it sounds like I'm lying, but here's what I get. I'd like to make out with you. I'm not going to do it. No way. I don't know, there's a whole bevy of reasons. There's really just more than I can count, but there's like I'd like to make out with you. I'm not going to do it though.

1:02:24 Caller I'm not.

1:02:24 Guest I get the opposite.

1:02:25 Caller Yeah.

1:02:27 Adam Jesus Christ. Where were all these girls in high school? I think I would account myself amongst the deprived. Yes.

1:02:36 Drew I studied the Brillo hat in his head first.

1:02:38 Caller Yeah.

1:02:38 Adam Look at the hair.

1:02:39 Drew The government studied that and it repels me.

1:02:42 Caller Brillo hair.

1:02:45 Adam Justin, you're 18.

1:02:47 Drew Yeah.

1:02:48 Adam What's up?

1:02:49 Caller All right. I come.

1:02:53 Guest I have an orgasm, right?

1:02:55 Drew Right.

1:02:56 Caller But.

1:02:56 Guest Hold on.

1:02:57 Adam Let me write this down.

1:02:57 Caller Did he just call?

1:02:58 Caller He sounds like that other guy.

1:02:59 Guest Yeah. No.

1:03:01 Adam Yeah.

1:03:01 Guest No.

1:03:02 Caller Anyway, I come, but I don't squirt nothing out.

1:03:06 Guest Right?

1:03:06 Adam I see.

1:03:07 Guest Both.

1:03:08 Caller I can do either or.

1:03:09 Guest You know what I'm saying?

1:03:09 Caller I can hold.

1:03:10 Guest That's good.

1:03:10 Caller Right? We all try to do that. We try to learn how to do that. That's good. You're lucky.

1:03:16 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:03:17 Caller It still feels good.

1:03:19 Caller You know what I mean?

1:03:19 Adam How do you hold it back?

1:03:21 Caller You know what?

1:03:22 Caller You don't know?

1:03:23 Adam Well, I know there's like a pressure point in your. Is that a good?

1:03:28 Caller It's a really good thing. It's actually a great thing.

1:03:31 Guest What are you saying Billy? You're saying that you go on and on and on?

1:03:34 Guest Yeah, I can do it.

1:03:36 Caller I can do it.

1:03:37 Caller Really?

1:03:38 Adam Hold on.

1:03:38 Caller I have dry orgasms. You have dry orgasms.

1:03:40 Adam How do you do that though?

1:03:41 Caller You release it a little bit and you get a little bit of the feeling and you don't let the stuff come out.

1:03:45 Adam How do you not let it come out?

1:03:47 Caller I don't know. It's just a muscle.

1:03:50 Guest You let yourself do a one-tenth come, as you're saying?

1:03:54 Caller It's great. Am I right about this? This is a thing all guys try to do, isn't it?

1:03:58 Drew I'm a physician. I learn by observation.

1:04:00 Adam Bruce doesn't know anything about this. I know nothing about this.

1:04:03 Guest What do you know about it?

1:04:04 Adam Well, here's what I know. There's a couple of things. One is called a retrograde ejaculation, where you take your finger. That's right.

1:04:12 Drew Very good.

1:04:12 Adam Oh, yes.

1:04:20 Guest How dare you.

1:04:23 Adam You put your finger in your, what I say, perineum. Is that what that is down there? Tell me what a perineum is.

1:04:29 Caller You sit on a bidet.

1:04:32 Adam Perineum is between- It's true.

1:04:34 Caller You were talking about that?

1:04:35 Adam No. Brodom, Berg, and Anus roll, basically. You put a bidet and turn it up.

1:04:38 Caller The water shoots up your butt.

1:04:39 Guest No, let me finish, please.

1:04:41 Adam I have one of those bidet toilet seats at home. Do you have one of those?

1:04:44 Drew Yes.

1:04:45 Guest I don't know if there was a-

1:04:47 Caller There's something you can do with it.

1:04:48 Drew Like a case study in ADH?

1:04:49 Caller Anyway, you have one of those?

1:04:50 Caller Yes, I do.

1:04:52 Adam My God. I thought I was part of some elite fraternity that got water shot in my ass. It turns out every guy's got a cable show. It's got one of these toilet seats. Jesus Christ, it feels so cheap now. I'm so humiliated.

1:05:05 Guest So you don't know your bidet trick like Billy does?

1:05:07 Caller What is this thing you're talking about?

1:05:08 Adam What are you talking about? First, I want to, Bruce, you quiet down over there. First, I want to talk about the bidet. Is it the whole bidet you have or just the toilet seat?

1:05:18 Caller I have the whole bidet.

1:05:19 Adam Where did you get the whole bidet? You moved into a house that had one?

1:05:22 Caller My mom's an interior decorator, so.

1:05:24 Caller Oh my God. Your mom is gay?

1:05:25 Caller I think she's gay.

1:05:28 Adam And she, so she put a bidet in your house?

1:05:30 Drew Yes. And you enjoy sitting on this or what do you do with this?

1:05:33 Caller Well, yes.

1:05:34 Guest You like those bidets, huh?

1:05:36 Adam It's good times. Let me explain the bidet, Bruce. As a doctor, certainly you'll appreciate hygiene. I was staying at the Riga Royal over in New York.

1:05:47 Caller Doing a line up or something?

1:05:48 Adam A couple of weeks ago.

1:05:50 Guest Doing a television line up. That's a pretty good thing.

1:05:52 Adam Yeah, television line up. Yeah. So it's over at the Riga Royal. Certain floors at the Riga Royal, which is a nice hotel in New York, have the bidet toilet seat. Right. And you sit down on it, the thing's heated. And then there's like a control pad next to it. You're like a jet, you're like a fighter pilot sitting in that thing.

1:06:08 Guest Yeah, you can do it soft or you can do it pulsing.

1:06:10 Adam I'm like, I'm sitting there, so I'm on the pot. I'm sitting there. I didn't bring a magazine, so I'm just kind of looking around. And I look down and I see this keypad. And I'm thinking, what's this thing for? What's going on here? And I see the buttons, you know, hot and cold and pulsing and all that. So I press one. Next thing you know, there's water shooting up my ass. And first I was a little startled. Now I'm thinking, hey, this is nice.

1:06:32 Guest Yeah.

1:06:32 Adam I can go for this.

1:06:33 Guest What do you say? You got turned on by your bidet?

1:06:35 Adam Well, not turned on per se, but I enjoyed it.

1:06:38 Guest I can see from your face.

1:06:40 Adam I enjoyed it from a therapeutic standpoint.

1:06:42 Guest I understand. You felt clean. It was kind of like a phlegm.

1:06:44 Adam Yeah, I felt good. And you know, there's nothing worse than taking a nice shower, getting out of the shower and going, oh, Christ, that chili con carne from that time. Right. Jesus Christ. I'm going to get myself all messed up.

1:06:55 Caller Again, I got to go back and take another shower.

1:06:56 Adam You're going to get in the shower again. A bidet? A bidet toilet. That's right.

1:07:01 Guest I've never used it that way.

1:07:03 Adam Daniel and Jimmy, who I work with at the Man Show, they bought me the toilet seat. You don't need the whole bidet. You can just strap the seat on there. You bolt it on. You plug it in. You can water it.

1:07:13 Caller You can switch it to the...

1:07:14 Guest Yeah.

1:07:14 Adam It's like $400 or $500. It comes from Sweden or something.

1:07:18 Guest You can get it heated.

1:07:19 Adam Yeah. Mine's heated. Mine has a remote control. Yeah.

1:07:22 Guest I've seen those.

1:07:22 Adam It's got a picture of a seal on it.

1:07:24 Guest You're into this, aren't you?

1:07:25 Adam I sit there at that remote on it. We should take a break.

1:07:27 Drew It's a pick-up line for them.

1:07:29 Adam Yeah. I recommend the bidet lid if your mom's an interior decorator.

1:07:34 Caller And the chicks love it too, right? The chicks love it.

1:07:36 Adam They love it.

1:07:36 Caller They're a little scared.

1:07:37 Adam I gotta tell you because the seat, when people come into my bathroom, they look at the seat and they're like, Did your grandmother live here? No. They see this oversized seat. Yeah. It looks weird.

1:07:50 Caller But it is pretty cool.

1:07:51 Adam It looks sort of medicinal. It looks like it must have a riser on it for people that are having difficulty moving around. That's all for me.

1:07:59 Drew You ever wash your hair with this thing?

1:08:00 Adam No. But I'll tell you, if I had to, I'd put my head down.

1:08:03 Guest I really would.

1:08:04 Adam I knew it. The great part is the anticipation. He hit the button and it's like, five, four, three.

1:08:11 Guest Oh, it's like he's going to die. This is unreal.

1:08:14 Adam You got to shift around to get it right in a sweet spot. That's right. It's good times. Well, as I said to Drew, and Drew always gags when I say this, but it's really down there. I got a little hair down there and I told him, it's like trying to get the peanut butter out of shag carpet.

1:08:32 Oh, that's just wrong.

1:08:33 Adam I know. Drew hates that too. It really does. He hates it when I bring that up. Oh, no, I'm okay. No, you'll see later.

1:08:40 Drew How about the gecko in the forest analogy?

1:08:42 Adam I like that one. I don't remember that one. But listen, I want to talk to William about his retrograde ejaculation here now that we've opened up with the bidet. Now, you masturbate. No, no, not masturbate. No, sex, sex.

1:08:55 Caller I don't masturbate. I never masturbate.

1:08:56 Adam Oh, you don't? No. Okay, get out of here.

1:08:58 Guest You said you did. You just recommended that the guy use some cream.

1:09:01 Adam I used to masturbate.

1:09:02 Caller When I was a teenager, I masturbated. I had very dry skin down there.

1:09:06 Adam All right. So now you're having sex. You feel the orgasm coming on, but you're able to contract your muscles in such a way where you actually experience the sensation of the orgasm, but none of your vital seed spills out. And therefore, you can keep your erection and continue with the sex.

1:09:25 Caller Right.

1:09:26 Adam Right?

1:09:27 Caller But it's not for me. It makes the girl feel great.

1:09:29 Adam For the hooker, right?

1:09:30 Caller For the hooker. You got it.

1:09:31 Adam It's for the girl. Right.

1:09:32 Caller It's for the girl. He's being serious. No, no, no. Not that you can keep going. Not that. The girl thinks she's giving you two, three, four. You pretend like you're having an orgasm. No, no, no. Well, you are.

1:09:41 Adam I mean, essentially.

1:09:42 Caller Well, I guess so.

1:09:43 Adam Do you work these muscles out like with the tantric sex stuff or is it just something you can do?

1:09:48 Caller Just something I can do. I've always been able to do that.

1:09:50 Drew I feel a website and infomercial coming on.

1:09:53 Adam I really do, true. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Geno's 17th sexually active wants to know what the gynecologist can tell. We'll see if he can dust for semen after this. Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, and that is Dr. Bruce over to my left. That'd be to your right if you're facing the radio. Dr. Bruce is board certified. Don't worry about it, right?

1:10:54 Drew Beauty and the Beast.

1:10:55 Adam I'm trying to instill a little confidence in the kiddies. William McNamara and Charlotte Ross are our guests tonight from Beggars and Choosers Showtime on Tuesday nights, everybody. 10 o'clock. And you want to get a little glimpse of Hollywood and the inner workings of it, you will tune in Tuesday night at 10 o'clock. Of course, you can have the radio on at the same time.

1:11:20 Drew Plethora of masturbation calls tonight.

1:11:21 Adam All right. I don't know what's up with this.

1:11:23 Drew Adam got the word out. Some favorite activity.

1:11:25 Adam Something's up with this phone. All right. Gina, you're 17. What's going on?

1:11:31 Caller Can I first say that I think you are so awesome, Adam.

1:11:34 Adam Oh, thanks.

1:11:35 Caller You have you. Thank you. I'm really active and I want to know if I go to the gynecologist, will she be able to tell? Like, will she tell my parents?

1:11:45 Drew It's not like you want her to tell.

1:11:47 Caller No, no.

1:11:49 Adam Well, your hymen may be broken, right? So, she might know you're not a virgin, although as we discussed earlier in the evening, that could be gone anyway.

1:11:58 Caller Okay.

1:11:59 Drew What state are you in?

1:12:01 Caller What do you mean?

1:12:02 Drew What state do you live in? Where are you at?

1:12:04 Caller California.

1:12:05 Drew Is there some sort of pipeline of information between your gynecologist and your parents, or do you imagine that to be so?

1:12:10 Caller Well, no. I mean, like, if my mom goes with me.

1:12:13 Drew Okay, look. You're 17. If you were 14, I'd say this. You need to go in alone. You need to have confidentiality. You're doing adult things. You need to do it in an adult way. And I'm not yelling at you. This is something you really need to practice and feel comfortable with.

1:12:27 Adam Well, what'd she say to her mom when her mom wants to go with her to the gynecologist?

1:12:31 Drew Say, Mom, I'm 17 and I want to talk to the gynecologist alone. Boop. Mom will understand.

1:12:36 Adam Mom's not in the room during the examination, though, is she?

1:12:40 Drew Holding your hand.

1:12:41 Guest Oh, I don't know.

1:12:43 Drew You've never had one?

1:12:44 Caller I've never been before.

1:12:45 Adam Oh, you've never been to the gynecologist? Yeah, you will be able to discuss whatever you want to discuss in a confidential manner with your gynecologist and your mom's not going to be in the room. She'll be reading Road and Track in the waiting room.

1:12:59 Drew She's not going to assume you're having sex just because you want to?

1:13:02 Adam Young Ho, I think is one of the ones I've seen floating around the gynecologist. Asian Bride, I think was also another one I've seen over there. Jordan?

1:13:12 Yeah.

1:13:13 Adam You're 17.

1:13:14 Caller Yeah.

1:13:14 Adam What's up? That'd be great though. Wouldn't it be great to spread a bunch of your own mock magazines around the gynecologist? Not in my off. Teenage slut, young ho. One would just be called panty raid, you know.

1:13:25 Drew You choose all Drew's medical journals, I think.

1:13:28 Adam Jordan?

1:13:29 Caller Yeah.

1:13:29 Adam All right. So 17, what's up?

1:13:32 Caller Yeah. I find it odd that I masturbate with my right hand constantly and I kind of do it like three times a day. And I find my forearm getting pretty big.

1:13:47 Adam I see.

1:13:48 Guest I see.

1:13:50 Adam You look like Popeye, right? Yes. All right. That is ridiculous. Let me explain why that's ridiculous. You see guys who are professional tennis players who are holding a racket in their right or left hand for 20 years. They're on the circuit playing for two hours every day. Look at their arms. They're the same size. Do you know what I'm saying? So here's a guy who's basically swinging a racket or a baseball bat or whatever it is, but especially tennis, because they're just using one arm, same size as the other arm. Why is that? Don't tell me whacking off 15 minutes a day is going to make that arm bigger.

1:14:26 Drew But those people are running around, they're getting aerobic exercise. I don't think masturbation is an aerobic exercise.

1:14:31 Adam The point is it's not going to enlarge the muscle mass. If that were true, look at that, I got skinny forearms. I wouldn't be able to fit in this room if that were true.

1:14:39 Drew I need more information.

1:14:40 Adam You see what I'm saying? I wouldn't be able to touch the steering wheel.

1:14:42 Drew I know exactly what you're saying.

1:14:44 Adam Thank you. All right, pick another call, would you?

1:14:47 Drew This is right down your line again.

1:14:49 Adam Stephen?

1:14:50 Caller Yes?

1:14:51 Adam What's up?

1:14:52 Caller I just wanted to know if my penis size was the right size for my age.

1:14:56 Adam Yes, it's right on target. Let me check your chart. Stephen, let's see. Yep, yep, it's coming along nicely.

1:15:02 Drew In this case, I agree with Adam.

1:15:04 Adam You've made a lot of progress lately. We're proud of you.

1:15:06 Caller Well, I'm 14.

1:15:07 Adam I see, yes.

1:15:09 Caller It's only like four inches.

1:15:12 Adam Oh, Charlotte, don't laugh.

1:15:14 Guest That's not me laughing.

1:15:15 Caller That was so not me.

1:15:16 Adam How dare you laugh at him.

1:15:18 Guest Don't put that laugh track in there.

1:15:20 Drew They're picking on Charlotte tonight.

1:15:21 Guest Listen, listen now.

1:15:23 Drew I feel your pain, Charlotte.

1:15:23 Guest I'm sure it's a wonderful size, and it's only going to get larger.

1:15:27 Adam Four inches.

1:15:27 Drew Especially now.

1:15:28 Adam Four inches when it's erect, right?

1:15:31 Caller Four inches and three quarters.

1:15:32 Caller You guys didn't let me finish.

1:15:33 Adam Oh, four and three quarters.

1:15:35 Drew What?

1:15:35 Adam That'll do it. You're damn near five, right?

1:15:38 Caller That's great, right?

1:15:39 Drew Have you and your friends measured them, and you're the smallest, or what? How'd you get concerned about this?

1:15:45 Caller Certain friends that we talk about, that's the same size, but I know certain friends where I've seen them measure it, where it's like over six.

1:15:55 Drew You know what, these guys, you know, they're happy now, and they're larger now, but you'll catch up, I promise.

1:16:02 Guest So young men keep growing until, what age, really, in that age?

1:16:05 Drew Forty-five or fifty.

1:16:06 Adam I mean, one can hope. Steven? I'm due for spurt any day now. I feel one coming.

1:16:14 Drew Get rid of them tweezers and microphones.

1:16:16 Adam Oh, how dare you. No, listen, your penis as a male, the majority of it's growing when you hit puberty, right? So this guy's fourteen, he's just coming into puberty.

1:16:27 Guest His voice hasn't even changed.

1:16:28 Adam His growth is going to be going on between like fourteen and eighteen, and then after that, he may squeeze a little out, but not much.

1:16:36 Caller But once they're six inch, they're going to really fly up.

1:16:38 Adam Well, on the other hand, they may just slow down.

1:16:43 Caller Six at fourteen.

1:16:44 Adam Yeah. I was saying to Drew last week, there's a certain age that all men measure their penis, and I think it's between like fourteen and seventeen, and then you don't measure it again. I mean, I remember measuring my penis when I was like fifteen or sixteen, and I've never done it again. You get the girls.

1:17:06 Guest You're assuming it's grown miles since then, that's all.

1:17:08 Adam Well, my new measuring technique...

1:17:10 Caller Dollar bill.

1:17:11 Adam It sounds convenient.

1:17:12 Caller A dollar bill is six inches, so if you're bigger than a dollar bill, you're doing okay.

1:17:15 Adam Here it is, here it is. William, you're going to appreciate this. You can do this when you get home. Here's my new technique. Center of the anus to just beyond the tip. That's my new technique. Just past the tip, just past. Can I say something to Steve? No, you can't. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah, that's it. That's right. He's almost 5 inches and the average is not. So, would you say that he's normal? Yes, the average is not 6 inches according to experts. It's like 5.3 or something like that. So, everyone uses 6.

1:17:48 Guest So, he's ahead of the game.

1:17:50 Adam He's doing fine. He'll be a porn star by the time he's 17.

1:17:53 Drew Every 14-year-old when it gets cold or they go in the cold water and he shrivels up there, it's like, oh my God, this is abnormal. It's a normal worrying thing, 14-years-old, 15-years-old.

1:18:03 Adam It's getting too cathartic now.

1:18:04 Drew It's quiet down.

1:18:05 Adam Melissa?

1:18:06 Caller Yes.

1:18:06 Adam You're 23.

1:18:08 Caller Uh-huh.

1:18:08 Adam What's up?

1:18:09 Caller I have a question. Me and my boyfriend got into an argument earlier this evening about women and having orgasms. He was saying that he believes that all women orgasm in different ways. And I was saying that pretty much women orgasm was just like pressure on the clitoris.

1:18:28 Caller Yeah. I was just wondering which one of us is right.

1:18:31 Adam Well, you both retards. That's first off. I'd love to have been flying a wall for that hellacious argument. Well, some women orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Others do it through like some vaginal stimulation.

1:18:45 Caller Really?

1:18:46 Drew Right.

1:18:46 Caller Right.

1:18:47 Drew Yeah, the nerves.

1:18:48 Adam Charlotte, let Charlotte chime in.

1:18:50 Caller She has a vagina.

1:18:51 Adam You know what I'm saying, right?

1:18:53 Guest Because I know nothing. Yeah, I mean...

1:18:55 Drew I doubt that. We have an expert here, but she's silent on this topic.

1:19:01 Adam Melissa, the truth is... I don't even understand her question exactly, though.

1:19:06 Guest Explain about the G-spot.

1:19:08 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, that G-spot.

1:19:10 Guest So, go ahead, Doctor.

1:19:12 Drew Okay. It's just a basic disagreement. Was it your husband saying that the clitoris is the only way? Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

1:19:18 Caller No, I was. I wasn't saying it was the only way. I was saying it was the majority of women.

1:19:23 Adam Yes.

1:19:24 Caller Have orgasms through clitoris.

1:19:25 Adam Overwhelming.

1:19:26 Drew There are women that never have orgasms. I mean, they have sex. It feels good.

1:19:30 Caller I know a lot of them.

1:19:32 Drew You have lots of nerve endings down there. I mean, as far as getting technical and worrying about it, it's what feels good to you. There are people that have a, you know, some people call it the G-spot, an area inside the vagina and the vaginal wall where, when stimulated, an orgasm starts.

1:19:49 Caller That's already proven, though. That's just a myth.

1:19:51 Guest No, it has. I saw something on Discovery recently about...

1:19:53 Caller That's never been proven.

1:19:54 Adam Really?

1:19:55 Guest I was flipping channels and I saw something on Discovery about, specifically about female orgasms and they showed what the G-spot is and it's actually a physical thing that's in the body and that it's easily found in different positions.

1:20:10 Adam Where would one find that?

1:20:12 Guest Well, Adam, you know, I'm not really sure, but I know that it's...

1:20:16 Drew You know it's there.

1:20:17 Guest It's in there and, you know, some women have a lot easier time from intercourse alone than others and some can't seem to find it.

1:20:26 Adam Oh, I know. You go at it all night and nothing.

1:20:28 Guest So you're saying you don't find it very often.

1:20:31 Adam No, listen, I know. Let me tell you where... I know where the G-spot is. You go in and then you like hook and go up a little bit.

1:20:38 Guest That's pretty close.

1:20:39 Guest I love your little...

1:20:41 Guest I wish you could see Adam's finger showing us right now. I think that's correct from the Discovery Channel show that I saw.

1:20:49 Caller You use two fingers and do that when you get up there. Like you're swimming.

1:20:52 Adam Yeah, see, I use my cane normal.

1:20:55 Drew Is that your fisting...

1:20:56 Adam Oh, how dare you.

1:20:57 Guest I think the more she has intercourse, maybe the more she can experiment and find out if there's other ways.

1:21:03 Caller You have lots of intercourse.

1:21:04 Drew Is there anything underlying the argument? Melissa, was this a real argument?

1:21:08 Caller Because you have to masturbate when you guys have sex, right?

1:21:10 Adam Oh, hold on a second. Hey, Bruce, how long are you going to talk to the screen when it's not lit up there? You understand the concept of how it turns red and lights up when we're talking to them? Well, no, listen. Keep talking to Melissa. Go ahead.

1:21:23 Drew Your own insecurities are making you...

1:21:25 Adam See that? Do you see how it goes?

1:21:26 Caller All right.

1:21:26 Drew All right.

1:21:27 Caller There it is.

1:21:27 Drew Why don't you just turn? Melissa.

1:21:30 Adam All right. Melissa, you're right. He's wrong. Everyone's wrong. You're always right. Okay?

1:21:35 Caller Oh, that's all I need to know.

1:21:36 Adam That's all you need to know.

1:21:37 Drew Okay.

1:21:38 Adam Alex?

1:21:39 Caller Yes.

1:21:40 Adam I know.

1:21:40 Drew But listen, he's in control. No, no. Go ahead.

1:21:43 Adam Alex, you're 24. He's in control.

1:21:45 Caller Adam?

1:21:46 Adam Yes.

1:21:46 Caller I've been going out with this girl for about a year and a half. I'm crazy about her, except there's just one thing sexually that I think is a small barrier. When she's giving me a blow job, when it's time for me to orgasm, she finishes off with her hand. I see. She has an aversion. You know, I mean, it's not that I want to try to be selfish or complain, but it's a pleasure that I've learned to enjoy over the years. And I want to stay with this girl. Get over this hump.

1:22:20 Guest You'd like her to what?

1:22:21 Caller You make a lot of money, she'll swallow. I don't even want her to swallow.

1:22:27 Guest What do you want?

1:22:28 Adam You want her to retain it.

1:22:29 Caller I want to be able to come in her mouth.

1:22:32 Adam That's right.

1:22:33 Drew You're a selfish man.

1:22:34 Adam What you want is you don't want to be interrupted.

1:22:37 Caller Exactly.

1:22:38 Adam It's like your mom's banging on the door asking what you're doing, right?

1:22:42 Drew How do you feel about that, Adam?

1:22:45 Adam Well, let me explain. I have a... Alex, hold on a second. I have strong feelings about this particular subject. I enjoy good BJ. I really do. I'm not going to make any bones about it. I... a lot of guys... Pardon the pun. A lot of guys don't enjoy it. I mean, all guys do enjoy it to some degree, but I really enjoy it. That is my bread and my butter.

1:23:05 Caller No matter how it's fixed off, you're saying?

1:23:07 Adam No, no. I mean, yeah. Listen, anytime...

1:23:10 Caller You're not picky.

1:23:11 Adam If a woman does that, God bless her. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm never going to criticize a woman for doing that to me because good or bad, that's effort.

1:23:20 Guest There are sexually transmitted diseases nowadays, by the way.

1:23:23 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:23 Adam Yeah, I know. That's why I'm...

1:23:24 Caller It could be something to think about, oh, yes, there are.

1:23:28 Adam Let's not go down that road. Don't tell girls that. Let me just explain to you women how this works.

1:23:35 Guest Back to what you really like.

1:23:36 Adam Okay, so here's the problem. And we haven't touched on this in a little while, which is everyone says, does she swallow? And guys refer to it as swallowing and girls refer to it as swallowing. And it's a misnomer because the reality is these guys don't care if you swallow, they just don't want to be interrupted right when they're having the orgasm.

1:23:57 Caller I don't like them to spit it out.

1:23:59 Adam I don't care if they... Well, but listen, if you had your choice between...

1:24:02 Guest But you're saying you're happy as long as the mouth is still there and whether she's swallowing or not, you're saying.

1:24:06 Adam I'm saying...

1:24:07 Drew You don't care what they do with it.

1:24:09 Adam Here's the deal, shut Bruce's mic off. I've had an ass full of Bruce tonight. I don't know how we're going to make it through the next couple of nights. Here's the deal, I truly don't, Bruce. Here's the deal, you get yourself a BJ, right? Everything is going great and then you get to that moment of ecstasy and there's that sort of four or five seconds where you really... All the work of the evening is built into that one four or five seconds and it's during that one four or five seconds where there's an interruption and it's like ruined. It's like you're building to this great crescendo and right when the guy's supposed to clank the cymbals together he drops one and it goes rolling off the edge of the stage. Right at the big crescendo and so all we're asking for is guys is not to have that crescendo interrupted.

1:24:56 Guest Right and how would it not be interrupted specifically?

1:24:59 Adam The way it would not be interrupted is to keep going, receive the semen in your mouth and then just go spit it out in a potted plant, in the sink, on the comforter, on the dog, whatever it is.

1:25:11 Caller It's really good for you.

1:25:12 Adam Whatever it is.

1:25:13 Caller It's very high in protein.

1:25:15 Adam I'm not going to try to sell that rap.

1:25:17 Caller It's like colostrum, it's good for flus and colds.

1:25:19 Guest It really is.

1:25:20 Caller It's very high in protein.

1:25:23 Adam Whatever you do with it, just don't stop. Now, if you don't want to swallow it, fantastic. That's fine. I wouldn't swallow it either. I absolutely would not. I don't blame a woman for not swallowing it. But you can, listen, in the war they would siphon gas by putting a hose in their mouth and sucking on a tank, and they'd get a mouthful of gas and they'd spit it out and they'd put it in the next tank, you know. You can do it. You can take a chug off some milk that's bad in the refrigerator. You can make it to the sink and then spit it out. You don't have to swallow it. You don't have to spit it out back in the refrigerator.

1:25:56 Guest That's true. But I think there are guys out there that can handle that crucial point a little differently.

1:26:00 Guest All I'm saying is just stay with it.

1:26:02 Adam Then you get the stuff in your mouth. Then you just go spit it out in the sink and you rinse your mouth out and everything's good again.

1:26:08 Drew Do you demonstrate for your girlfriends?

1:26:10 Adam Yeah, I could do that. Get it out, Bruce. I'll show you right now. So that's all we want is the... We don't want the interruption. And once it's out of us, I don't care where it goes. Right. Thank you. That's what we want to say. Can we address this? No. We're taking a break. I told him he's got to tell her that. Because here's the problem.

1:26:29 Drew We don't know if he already told us.

1:26:30 Guest Shut up.

1:26:31 Adam Here's what guys think. Guys think... Guys tell women, you got to swallow for me, baby. And girls are like, I don't want to swallow that crap.

1:26:38 Guest I think if they did exactly what you're talking about, they'd be happy. Because they wouldn't know the difference whether she's swallowing it or not.

1:26:42 Adam Right. And they don't want... When they say swallow, they mean stay with it. Yes. They don't mean swallow it. And that's why I would never say swallow. Because if you say swallow, they go, no, I'm not going to swallow.

1:26:54 Guest And you yourself can't even imagine that.

1:26:55 Caller I hate when they spit it back out on the bed and it gets on your sheets.

1:26:58 Adam Just write it out. That's all I'm saying. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back. No, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Bruce over there, Willie McNamara, Charlotte Ross, our guest tonight. Beggars and Choosers Showtime, Tuesdays, 10 o'clock. Check it out. All right, so Brandon Tartakov, it was really his last project, and he's such a great guy. He really is, so you owe it to Brandon, who's no longer with us.

1:28:12 Guest And his widow, Lily Tartakov, is one of our project producers.

1:28:14 Adam Oh, she is. Lily Tartakov. And how's his daughter now? Has she recovered from this car accident that happened many years ago we were talking about?

1:28:22 Guest I think mostly yes, but we don't talk about it a lot, but I think she has recovered a lot.

1:28:26 Adam Don?

1:28:27 Guest Yeah.

1:28:28 Adam You're 30?

1:28:29 Guest Yeah.

1:28:29 Adam What's up?

1:28:31 Guest It's good to talk to you guys. I finally got through, and you guys have a great show.

1:28:35 Adam Thanks.

1:28:36 Guest I've been currently taking lithium, the generic lithobid, for 12 months, and I guess this goes to Dr. Drew. I'm not sure. I wanted to know, like, what are some dangers of taking it? My doctor explained to me all the side effects, and I've been on it since last June of 1999. Okay.

1:28:55 Adam Bruce will answer that.

1:28:56 Drew So you have bipolar disorder?

1:28:59 Guest Yeah.

1:28:59 Drew Okay. And lithium is still the most effective drug for a very extreme form of bipolar disorder. For less, for more mild forms, there are other medications that work. It has a very narrow, what you call, toxic therapeutic ratio. So if you get a little bit higher than the level which you measure in the blood, you get into trouble real quickly. Some drugs you can take more than you should. You don't even measure blood levels, and there's not much to worry about. Lithium, you can get into trouble real fast. And it actually replaces sodium. It's very similar to the sodium molecule in places it goes in the body. People get diarrhea. They get dizzy. They get seizures. They get into all kinds of problems very quickly. So when you're taking it, you generally have the blood levels checked on a very regular basis and your doctor will tell you if you just start not feeling right, you need to come in right away, and that's one of the first things to be checked.

1:29:49 Adam All right, Don.

1:29:50 Guest Yeah, I've been taking blood tests every three months and my lithium level is.5, which is very low, but I can't seem to take any more because then I start getting the gnarly side effects.

1:30:02 Drew Right, so that's commonly what happens, they want to, they try to keep it low, then get into the toxic range, because very, very little bit over the.

1:30:10 Adam What about switching to another drug?

1:30:13 Drew Yeah, have you talked to your doctor about, I don't know, do you get real psychotic when you get hyper in the hyper phase of your bipolar disorder, do you get really super depressed when you, do you have very violent swings or is it just a mild form of bipolar disorder? You still there? Okay.

1:30:32 Adam I put them on hold, Bruce. See, the screen. See, let me explain the screen to you, Bruce. I know you've only done this show 45 times. See how it turns red when they're on?

1:30:41 Drew You know, all the interesting people in here. And you're choosing humor and making fun of me.

1:30:45 Adam Bruce, you're looking at the screen. You see the seeds red?

1:30:48 Drew No, I was actually looking for the next call, Bonehead. I'm researching.

1:30:52 Adam Okay, you guys take a look at the screen. Now watch, you see, when I put them on, it turns red. And when I put them on hold, it goes back to blue. And it says hold, and it flashes, and the whole box turns red. Yeah, okay. Hey, Don, I don't know, whatever Bruce said to you, do you do that?

1:31:12 Drew Yeah.

1:31:13 Adam Okay, fair enough. Bruce, you're staring right at the screen while you're talking, going, I'm just waiting. That's all.

1:31:21 Caller He is a world class dick.

1:31:23 Drew Adam, you are. I agree with Drew. All right.

1:31:26 Adam All right.

1:31:27 Drew Next call.

1:31:28 Adam Really? All right. So what did you ask Don? I don't want to go to hell that fast. What did you say to him? Is he okay? I mean, he's in good hands, right? His doctors are taking care of him.

1:31:39 Caller Yes.

1:31:39 Adam All right. Listen to your doctors. There you go. Julie?

1:31:42 Caller Yeah.

1:31:43 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:31:46 Caller Actually, my ex-ex boyfriend, the farthest we've gone was dry sex.

1:31:52 Adam I see. Yes, I've done that.

1:31:53 Caller Yeah. I got turned on, but with my ex-boyfriend, we've got all the way, but we haven't felt anything.

1:32:01 Adam I see.

1:32:03 Caller Or turned on or while we were having sex, I didn't feel nothing at all.

1:32:09 Adam Nothing. Now, what about your ex-ex-ex-boyfriend? Feel anything with him?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah.

1:32:15 Adam He did? So, the ex-ex you dry-humped with, the ex you had sex with but felt nothing, but the ex-ex-ex, you had sex and felt something with?

1:32:26 Caller Uh-huh.

1:32:26 Adam I see. What about the ex-ex-ex-ex?

1:32:31 Caller What about him?

1:32:33 Adam Feel anything with him?

1:32:34 Caller My ex-ex?

1:32:35 Adam No, ex-ex-ex.

1:32:37 Caller No.

1:32:37 Adam I mean, ex-ex-ex-ex.

1:32:39 Caller Yeah.

1:32:40 Adam Four exes.

1:32:41 Caller Um, no. I just began with my ex-ex.

1:32:45 Adam I see. All right. So, you didn't have sex with the ex-ex-ex?

1:32:50 Caller No.

1:32:50 Adam Just the ex-ex?

1:32:51 Caller Just the ex-ex.

1:32:52 Adam I see. And would you just go to third base with the ex-ex-ex?

1:32:55 Caller Yeah.

1:32:56 Adam I see. But no sex-ex-ex with the ex-ex-ex?

1:32:58 Caller No.

1:32:59 Guest Whatever. Whatever.

1:33:00 Adam All right. So, Julie? You know, you're seventeen. Your woman, all bets are off. Maybe you're not that into this ex. Well, he's your ex now, right?

1:33:11 Caller Yeah.

1:33:12 Adam Okay. So, you broke up with him? All right. It wasn't there for you?

1:33:16 Caller No.

1:33:16 Adam No. There you go. I've not helped one person and I really haven't. But, listen.

1:33:22 Guest Unless you have the therapy one.

1:33:24 Adam You can't, especially with women. Charlotte, way in here. If you're not interested in a guy, it just ain't happening as a woman. I mean, guys can do it. Guys can be with a woman, especially if she's an attractive woman. Even if they're not interested in her, they don't like her personality or they don't click, he can still get it up. He can still have a good time with her. With a woman, if you're not into a guy, it's going to be a rough outing. I mean, most likely, you're just staying into it.

1:33:53 Guest I think there are some women out there that think more like men. I know a lot, including myself, that don't. If you're not into someone, no. I think that it would be terrible.

1:34:04 Adam Right. Even if the guy is your boyfriend sometimes, especially when you're younger, you don't know how to pick guys that well, and you're just not that into the guy.

1:34:13 Caller I would take it as a crew.

1:34:14 Guest Yeah. That's probably not the person you continue seeing.

1:34:16 Drew I take exception to his use of the term, good time with a woman you really don't like anyway. That's not a good time, and a man with integrity wouldn't do that.

1:34:24 Adam Oh, that is, listen, who are you, Sir Walter Rollins over there?

1:34:28 Guest We are talking 17 years old.

1:34:29 Adam Many a man has managed to have a good time with plenty of women.

1:34:33 Drew Julie also, I wouldn't measure the quality of the relationship by whether or not you can have an orgasm. Some people don't have orgasms with sex in a relationship for a period of time until they get to know the person better, they're more comfortable.

1:34:45 Adam Yes, you must figure it out. All right, let's very quickly speak to Jack, the aptly named Jack who's 20 and who felt the tear in his penis during sex today, is that right?

1:34:58 Drew Hello?

1:35:00 Adam Jack, that wasn't the Velcro from your swim trunks opening up, that was your penis?

1:35:05 Caller No, when we were having it, it felt a pull.

1:35:10 Adam Okay, do you have some bleeding in your penis now?

1:35:14 Drew Yes.

1:35:14 Adam Some discoloration? All right.

1:35:16 Caller Actual bleeding.

1:35:17 Drew Okay.

1:35:19 Adam You got to go in and have it looked at. Urologist or emergency room?

1:35:23 Drew I'd go to the ER. What? Would you?

1:35:25 Caller Quickly.

1:35:25 Drew Yes. Do you have bleeding from the urethra? Is it when you urinate or are you seeing bleeding under the skin in another part of the penis? Because you can fracture your penis.

1:35:34 Caller It's bleeding through the urethra. It's just once, like, it's just a little when I notice when I urinate.

1:35:40 Guest Or does it hurt?

1:35:42 Drew Are you having pain?

1:35:43 Caller It's sore.

1:35:44 Drew Yeah, really, it really doesn't matter. It can be an infection. You could have had some trauma. Well, you heard a tear.

1:35:48 Adam Go to a urologist. Have it checked out. You don't want to mess with that penis. That is the computer.

1:35:52 Drew Go to the ER. Go to the urologist.

1:35:53 Adam Fine.

1:35:53 Drew See your doctor. You wait for a urologist. It might be six months.

1:35:56 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

1:36:03 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:36:35 Guest You go home to the jacuzzi.

1:36:37 Adam Yeah, that's where I'm going. I'm going back to the man show ramp party.

1:36:40 Caller You're going to her house.

1:36:42 Adam No, thankfully the ramp party is up the street from my house. So, can I go too? You want to go?

1:36:47 Caller Yeah.

1:36:48 Adam Yeah, you can go. Sure. Yeah.

1:36:50 Caller Yeah.

1:36:50 Adam And I'm going to hit the jacuzzi over at my house. Kick him right out of his car. I want to thank William and Charlotte for coming in here from Beggars and Choosers.

1:36:57 Guest Thank you for having us.

1:36:58 Adam Our pleasure. It was a lovely evening. Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock, everyone, Showtime. Check that show out. We'll be back tomorrow night with Dr. Bruce, God willing. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce saying Mahalo.

1:37:11 Guest Cornhorn.

1:37:13 Adam Well now.

1:37:14 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:37:15 Caller The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, the management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Sunday, June 25, 2000