Episode 1000754887326

1:39 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline Coast to Coast.

2:45 Guest Yeah, I mean, I think the first song that we've actually had really legitimately on the radio is Never Gonna Come Back Down, which is the first single off my new album and stuff. So it's really exciting. I mean, for the kind of music that we make, it's not the kind of thing that's usually supported by, you know, radio, because it's, you know, electronic and orientation and stuff. So it's cool.

3:06 Drew That's right. Excited. But people would be familiar with your work. You worked with Tory Amos.

3:11 Guest That's true. Yeah, I did. I've done a bunch of stuff with Tory and with loads of different people. You know, I've done remixes for people like Madonna and Seal and, you know, been scoring films. I scored Doug Liman.

3:22 Drew Oh my God.

3:23 Guest Doug Liman's second movie, Go, and I just did a new one called Under Suspicion.

3:26 Drew I was reading your bio and you said you started Suzuki piano when you were four or something. And you were scoring music at like eight.

3:32 Guest Yeah, yeah, it's true. I studied it. We were just talking about it. I'm from Maryland. I studied at the Washington Conservatory of Music and I studied, you know, string writing, symphonic orchestration and all that kind of stuff starting when I was eight.

3:44 Drew Oh my God.

3:45 Guest And then I grew out of that though. I like I hit 11 and started hearing, you know, Africa Bambaataa and Man Parish and Kraftwerk records and was like, I'm over classical music now.

3:58 Drew You were studying at the conservatory at age eight?

4:01 Guest Yeah, yeah.

4:02 Drew Were you the only eight year old in the conservatory?

4:04 Guest I actually was not, no.

4:05 Drew Oh my God.

4:06 Guest Yeah, yeah.

4:08 Drew Did you go back there like in college and study or?

4:10 Guest I actually, I went on to, throughout high school, I went on to play in punk bands. I played drums in a ska band and I was listening to Floyd and Hendrix records and the Cure and the Smiths and New Order and Depeche Mode and stuff. And then I actually went to Berkeley School of Music in Boston and studied jazz because I didn't study any jazz.

4:27 Drew Jazz what? Just jazz.

4:30 Guest Yeah.

4:31 Drew Did you have command of multiple instruments at that point?

4:33 Guest Yeah. I mean, my primary instrument is keys. And then at Berkeley, you know, I play guitar too. But my primary thing is keys and guitar. And at Berkeley, you know, I studied all kinds of stuff. Voice and...

4:47 Drew Just for laughs. How many instruments do you play?

4:49 Guest Too many.

4:51 Drew Seriously. Like you can actually play.

4:53 Guest Well, I mean, if you give... The only thing that I can't make some kind of useful musical noise with are things from the string family. Like...

5:03 Drew The cello.

5:04 Guest Yeah. And there you go. That's like one of my favorite instruments. I so wish I could play the cello. Someday when I have time, I'm gonna kick back.

5:12 Drew I'm sorry. I hope I'm not boring the audience with my interest in your training. But would you pick up an instrument for like months at a time? Or would you be training on five different instruments over a couple of years?

5:22 Guest Well, when I was in high school, it was, you know...

5:24 Drew I don't know if you picked a French horn or trumpet.

5:26 Guest I mean, what would you do? Of the brass family, kind of like alto and tenor sax, I can get around on...

5:33 Drew With reed, though, right?

5:35 Guest Yeah, yeah, it is, yeah. I don't play something like, you know, a trumpet or flugelhorn or a French horn or one of those. But, you know, I can get around on saxes, bass, guitar, drums, keys, you know, most of the stuff.

5:49 Drew I mean, who can't? So, anyway, wow. Just to sort of recap, I'm here with BT.

5:56 Guest I can't spell.

5:57 Drew It's okay, you don't need to. You play 15 goddamn instruments and you're scoring music when you were eight. BT is visiting here tonight. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla is away. He's not actually away. He's stuck on the freeway, legitimately. There actually was a major accident in the Hollywood freeway, and that's what he takes out of here tonight. But let's take a couple of calls, see what we got going on.

6:17 Guest Cool.

6:17 Drew This is Tom. He's 20. Tom.

6:20 Yeah. Hi.

6:21 Drew Hi, Tom.

6:23 Well, I've been taking cough and cold pills to get messed up lately.

6:32 Drew Like a dextromethorphan, that kind of thing? Cough syrups?

6:35 Yeah. Yeah, but they're pills. They're called caricidin.

6:39 Drew Right. Not good for you. They make you hallucinate?

6:42 Somewhat.

6:43 Drew Yeah. Not a good thing.

6:45 Guest Why are you doing that, man?

6:47 I don't know. It just feels cool. It feels like you're flying and stuff. Yeah.

6:52 Drew But what are you flying sort of away from? What's going on in your life that you need to fly? Were you addicted to something else before this?

7:03 Just like Vicodin.

7:05 Drew Okay. So this is just like Vicodin by the way is just like heroin.

7:10 Guest Yeah, exactly.

7:12 Drew Heroin and Vicodin are very, very close relatives. You understand that?

7:15 Guest No.

7:16 Drew Okay. So you've been severely addicted. To have been addicted to Vicodin is to be profoundly addictive. So Tom, you've got to get some treatment. If you want to start with your doctor, you want to start with Narcotics Anonymous, AA, local psychiatric intake, whatever you want to do, go ahead. We'll be happy to give you some phone numbers. Maybe we'll get, Daniel gets back in her seat there. So hang on. We'll get something for you. Let's see if we can find some.

7:38 Guest That's a really serious one, man. I mean, that whole family of drugs is kind of the diving board for straight into heroin.

7:47 Drew Well, to me, as somebody that deals with this all the time, there's not a big difference. Right. There really isn't. There's just very little difference. Sasha, 17.

7:55 Hi.

7:56 I wanted to ask Adam, but since he's not there, I'll ask him because he's more like porn influence.

8:03 Drew He is sort of a porn, yeah, porn influence. Yeah.

8:07 Funny.

8:08 I found porn on my father's cabinet under his TV because I was searching for CDs.

8:14 Guest Oh yeah.

8:15 And I was shocked because before he moved there, he had some porn under his couch while I was vacuuming. I found it. And I basically want to know what should I tell him or should I tell him?

8:26 Drew You know, I think Adam would probably want to know what kind of porn it was.

8:29 Guest Yeah, he definitely would.

8:30 It had like black girls and they were, you know, swallowing.

8:36 Drew You're 17. What kind of relationship do you have with your dad?

8:39 Caller Well, we're very close and I'm more attached to my father.

8:44 Drew Than your mom?

8:44 Caller Yeah.

8:45 Drew Is this something you could feel comfortable talking to him about?

8:48 Caller Yeah.

8:49 Drew You could do it. Okay? What would your goal be?

8:53 Caller Huh?

8:53 Drew What would the purpose be of that for you? What would your goal be in talking to him?

8:57 Caller Well, I don't know.

8:58 I just...

9:00 Caller I don't know. I don't know. Because he doesn't have any girlfriends. So I wonder if it's okay if he should be watching porn or anything.

9:06 Drew It's okay.

9:06 Caller Yeah.

9:07 Drew That's the time that guys, men tend to do more of that kind of thing. When you don't have a girlfriend.

9:11 Caller So should I tell him anything?

9:12 Drew Well, what would your goal be? Just think. What is it that's giving you that impulse to tell him? What is it?

9:18 Caller Well, I asked my mom about it and she said, I should ask him about it and tell him you don't have to.

9:23 Drew Your mom is probably going to touchdown dance. She doesn't like your dad very much. Exactly.

9:29 Guest That's totally true.

9:32 Drew Oh my God.

9:33 Guest I just leave that one alone.

9:34 Drew I don't know. The only thing I don't like about it is that it's certain. Do you live with him? No. Okay. It's his living space. He shouldn't be digging around there. He's apt to have a single man. How old is he?

9:46 Adam Daddy's home.

9:48 Drew Oh, you're in luck, Sasha. You're in luck. The porn expert is arrived. You heard me talk to Sasha.

9:52 Adam Your dad likes the dark meat porn with the face splooge stuff. Thank you.

10:00 Guest It's just what I expected too, by the way. Oh, really?

10:03 Adam Hi BT. How are you?

10:04 Guest I'm good, man. How are you?

10:05 Adam Nice to meet you.

10:06 Guest Nice to meet you too. What's happening?

10:08 Drew The face splooge part. Oh, yeah, yeah.

10:10 Adam Okay, listen, first off, God bless you for vacuuming underneath the sofa. You gotta give a 17-year-old girl props for that. Dad brings her over once every other week. She does a quick mop, dust, and a vacuum of the place and discovers a little porn and she's out the door. Okay, hey Sasha, you're 17, that's old enough. Your roots are fully in the ground.

10:38 Drew It's not her house.

10:38 Adam Your dad's single. Let him have his fun. Don't make it an uncomfortable moment.

10:42 Caller He's also almost like 50.

10:45 Drew It's all right. His heart's still beating. Central nervous system is functioning. It's a good thing. You hear the mom found, she went to her mom about it. Mom was like, you talk to dad about it.

10:54 Adam Oh yeah.

10:54 Guest She thought, mom was stoked.

10:57 Adam Oh, you see what happens when you try to raise your kids with values? It comes back and haunts you when they find your porn stash. Hey Sasha, you can just get over it. Most dads have a movie or two, except for Drew because he's paranoid.

11:11 Drew Okay.

11:12 Adam Drew, you keep yours buried out in the yard.

11:13 Guest He's got a stash.

11:15 Drew I don't want to stuff my house.

11:17 Adam He's so freaked out about his kids. You're going to turn him gay. You understand that, don't you? It's healthy for a young kid to find a playboy.

11:25 Drew Yeah, at 15, 16, a playboy.

11:27 Adam Yeah. All right. Where are we going now? You want to switch seats?

11:31 Drew No, no, I don't. Come on.

11:32 Adam You don't? No. This is very uncomfortable. I feel unfunny in your chair. Can we at least switch chairs?

11:37 Drew Ariana, 24.

11:38 Guest You have a funny chair, huh?

11:40 Drew All right, if I can control the board, I'll switch chairs.

11:42 Adam Okay, ready?

11:43 Drew Yeah.

11:43 Adam All right, BT, cover us. Ready? Go.

11:46 Guest This is exactly what I expected, too, by the way, you guys. Just so you know. It really is. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

11:53 Adam All right, I'm back. No, no, no, no. Oh, get out of there, you idiot. Shmeal, we didn't shake on anything.

11:58 Guest Adam has swiped the controller.

12:00 Adam Thank you.

12:01 Guest So everybody knows.

12:01 Drew You can read and pick the calls back.

12:02 Adam I was very impressed by BT's credentials, too.

12:05 Drew Oh my God.

12:06 Adam Eight years old at some conservatory. And there was other eight-year-olds wandering the hole?

12:11 Guest Yeah, absolutely, man. Absolutely. And it was a really cool environment, actually, where I studied when I was a kid because a lot of times with people that study classical music when they're young, it's a very trained monkey thing. They're very forced into it by their parents, sort of thing. And there were a lot of people, the people that were there wanted to be there. They really did. And a lot of people I still know people that I studied with from when I was a kid.

12:38 Adam All crazy Asian kids, though, right?

12:41 Guest A lot of Asian people, yeah, definitely. Because I think with classical music, It takes a lot of discipline. Yeah, and have an incredible aptitude for it.

12:51 Adam Well, let me explain why. Little hands. Little hands, and they're very dexterous. Here it goes. Ariana?

12:58 Yeah?

12:58 Adam You're 24.

12:59 Caller Yeah.

13:00 Adam What's up?

13:02 Caller Okay, it's kind of a long story before I ask my question. My best friend is pregnant, and she's married. And we're all physically attracted to each other.

13:12 Drew The three of you?

13:13 Adam Including the fetus in this?

13:15 Caller Not the fetus.

13:16 Adam Okay.

13:17 Caller She and her husband and I were all physically attracted to each other.

13:21 Adam And you're single?

13:22 Caller I'm single. And the thing is, since she's pregnant, she feels unattractive. And her husband has been asking her for anal sex, and she doesn't feel comfortable doing that.

13:37 Adam I understand his ploy. He wants to build her up a little bit by cornholing her.

13:42 Drew How pregnant is she?

13:43 Adam What a humanitarian.

13:44 Drew How pregnant is she?

13:46 Caller She's in her ninth month.

13:48 Drew And they've told them not to have intercourse?

13:50 Caller Um, no, but the thing is that she feels unattractive.

13:55 Adam Okay, so he wants anal sex, and now how do you factor in?

13:58 Caller Um, well, he wants anal sex with me, and she wants to watch.

14:03 Adam That's interesting. All right.

14:04 Caller But she wants to be a part of the threesome.

14:07 Drew That is, that almost defines insanity.

14:09 Guest So many issues going on.

14:11 Drew This goes, that goes just right underneath having your Johnson cut off.

14:14 Adam And then when, for real, when do you sacrifice the child?

14:17 Yeah.

14:18 Adam At what point do you sacrifice the child?

14:20 Guest Exactly.

14:21 Adam Like, listen, what's up? What's up with her? What's up with you?

14:25 Guest What's up with all you guys? I mean, you should, you know, have, I mean, I don't know. I don't want to get overly moral here.

14:32 Adam Go ahead.

14:32 Guest It's usually Drew's job.

14:33 Drew BT was stuck in a conservatory till he was 11, and he didn't even see the outside world, and he knows this is screwed up.

14:38 Guest Yeah. I mean, you know, well, also, too, you should know I have a psychotherapist for a mother.

14:43 Adam So that's trouble.

14:45 Yeah.

14:46 Guest Hey, you mean crazier.

14:48 Adam Ariana.

14:48 Caller Yeah.

14:49 Adam How long have these two been married?

14:52 Caller About two years.

14:53 Adam Is this their first child?

14:55 Caller Yes.

14:56 Adam And why are they so chaotic? Are they ex junkies or are they into substance abuse?

15:02 Caller No. They've never had any problems with drugs or alcohol. They're conservative people. They're just a mess. She's not into sex right now, and he's wanting it, and they want to please each other, but they want me to be involved.

15:16 Adam Yeah.

15:16 Guest Well, that's just, I mean, you know, that's messed up. Am I the only person that feels it?

15:21 Adam Yeah. Why do you have to get it in the can, by the way? I mean, you're not pregnant.

15:26 Caller I know. That's why I'm asking.

15:28 Adam I mean, can't you guys build up to that with a...

15:30 Caller I don't have a problem with anal sex.

15:32 Drew There's a little bit of diabolical quality to this, too, which is the pregnant woman now gets that off his list. You know he's been pounding on her about that, not just because of the pregnancy.

15:41 Adam Right. So why don't you just bang my dumb friend, Arianna. But I mean, talk about, hold on a second. You have to admire this guy's wayvose. You know what I'm saying? Because he is going on the difficulty scale. He's going for a 10 with his wife.

15:56 So this is a full...

15:57 Adam You're pregnant. I'm not going to nail you. Can I nail your friend? Oh, and by the way, in the ass.

16:05 You know what I mean?

16:06 Guest Am I the only person that feels like, here, there's like, you guys get these kind of, this is my first experience with this, like, there's a child involved in this. There's a pregnant woman.

16:16 Drew That's what's most disturbing to us.

16:17 Guest That's disturbing. I mean, it's like, you know, do people not have respect for, you know?

16:23 Drew Anything.

16:24 Adam I don't know. Hey, Ariana, these people really worry me as potential parents. They have serious difficulty in the decision-making process. You should not get yourself tangled up in this rancid web.

16:37 Guest Yeah, definitely not.

16:39 Caller Right. Well, I...

16:41 Adam And it brings your character into some suspicion. Is the fact that you'd even entertain this notion. What's up with you? Yeah.

16:50 Guest What's up with boundaries?

16:52 Caller Boundaries.

16:54 Adam Hold on. You got to look that one up.

16:56 Drew No boundaries.

16:57 Guest No, not morals. Boundaries. Like, that's like really crossing so many lines. Am I... This is Drew's job.

17:03 Drew No, no. This is wonderful. Adam gets comedians in here once in a while. This is good.

17:08 Adam Ariana.

17:08 Drew I get BT. No.

17:09 Adam Where's your... Why don't you have a boyfriend?

17:12 Caller I did have one, but we live in different states.

17:15 Adam I see. He's in Kentucky in a correctional institute.

17:19 Drew He's in a coma. She's awake.

17:21 Adam I see. Hey, Ariana?

17:23 Drew Yeah.

17:23 Adam Listen, you got to find yourself a man and sort of settle down, would you? This is not going to work out, and really it's going to screw this marriage up.

17:32 Guest Or go have freaky sex with people that aren't about to have kids. You know what I mean? If that's what you're into, have some respect for the fact that...

17:39 Drew And not people that are friends. Again, people don't understand the boundary issue. It's hard to explain, but once you violate boundaries in a relationship, it can make a big mess. And if you like this relationship, keep your boundaries intact.

17:49 Adam I'll tell you, even the Corollas, which were a pretty chaotic mess of a family, had boundaries. My father and grandfather's steadfast rule was cornholing only up into the second trimester. And after 5 p.m. And after 5 p.m. Yes, after the streetlights came on, I think it was, unless it was a daylight saving, and then we pushed it up to 8.

18:11 Drew Not streetlights, the gas lighters.

18:14 Adam That's right. Oh, my God.

18:16 Guest This is interesting already.

18:17 Adam You know, Ariana was describing this whole thing as if the one woman had wanted her to knit her a shawl and she didn't know if it was appropriate.

18:26 Guest Totally. Yeah, like, just like it was total matter of fact kind of normal thing around there.

18:31 Adam Nathan?

18:32 Hey.

18:32 Adam You're 14.

18:33 Caller Yeah.

18:33 Adam What's up?

18:34 Caller Adam, you're, uh, and Dr. Drew are the best.

18:36 Adam Well, thanks.

18:37 Caller Yeah. Um, I kind of made up my question. I'm going to tell you guys a story. Um, me and my mom and my brother, who's around six, we were, uh, Christmas shopping.

18:49 And, uh, my, uh, we were going to, like, Spencer's.

18:54 Adam Yeah.

18:55 Yeah.

18:55 Anyway, so we're in Spencer's.

18:57 My mom's looking for a gag gift.

18:58 And my brother, uh, uh, said, he goes, Hey, Nathan, check this out.

19:03 Caller And, uh, he turns around and he shows me this big old purple dildo.

19:09 Adam Yeah.

19:09 Caller And I'm like, what do I say?

19:11 So I go to him, yeah, it's a Wickless Candle. So I go, yeah.

19:15 Adam All right.

19:16 Drew It was a joke.

19:17 Adam I felt like a heartwarming Christmas tale coming on.

19:22 Drew That's nice. All right. It was a joke.

19:24 Adam You know, I'd like to, uh, hear something from BT personally.

19:27 Drew I was hoping to say that.

19:27 Adam Sound like a good time for that. Anderson, how you doing there, buddy? You, uh, queued up. Where's the CD? I don't have it here, do I?

19:35 Drew Anderson has it.

19:37 Guest I think they got it in there.

19:38 Adam Usually get the jacket itself, not so much a CD. But anyway, this is from BT, and this one is called Never Gonna Come Back Down.

19:50 I'm just gonna sock this one. I'm just gonna say this to the people, not so much the people in the audience, the people sitting in my mind.

24:43 Adam All right. That was never going to come back down from BT. It was in our studio tonight. We are, oh, we can't go to the Coles, that's right. I feel like we just started because I just started. All right. We're going to, you know, it was funny. I was driving along the Hollywood freeway, just bumper to bumper traffic. I finally tuned into the radio, a little AM, and they said, fatality accident on the Hollywood southbound. And so I thought, oh. And then my first thought was, that son of a bitch. And then my second thought was, listen, the guy's dead. So you're going to be five minutes late to your radio show, you big pussy. Now relax. And then I went, okay, I'm pissed now. I tried like getting in touch with something. It didn't work. All I could tell is I was in traffic, someone was dead. It was his fault. And I was angry. Yeah. And that makes me a bad person, doesn't it? No.

25:38 Drew We don't feel any different about you.

25:39 Adam Okay.

25:40 Guest But putting that out into the universe, I think, attracts some of these phone calls actually.

25:43 Adam Okay. I felt bad for whoever it was that died. But hey, I got a new plan, by the way, for the corpse on the side of the freeway. This whole thing where you take a blanket and pull it over the corpse, especially a hot yellow blanket, slows people down a little bit and it's kind of morbid because you get a pretty good outline of who's there on the pavement. How about a little cardboard sort of elongated box, something you could sort of stack on top.

26:09 Drew Drop on.

26:10 Adam Yeah, something you could, you wouldn't know what the sex was, you wouldn't know if it was beheaded, you wouldn't know what the ethnicity was, just a nice sort of port-a-casket. You know what I'm saying?

26:23 Guest Do you see these coming, Drew, when he starts on these?

26:26 Drew I want to go to break.

26:27 Adam We'll do that. We'll be back with BT after this.

26:32 Caller Love Live, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

27:10 Adam There we go. Hey, this is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tune in tomorrow night and watch Drew Check My Genitalia for-

27:19 Guest Watch.

27:20 Adam Listen.

27:21 Guest So glad I came tonight and not tomorrow night.

27:23 Adam Yeah.

27:24 Caller Tomorrow night.

27:25 Adam Listen to Dr. Drew Check My Genitalia for warts.

27:29 Guest What is that all about?

27:30 Drew I knew I needed to go to the ATM for something.

27:32 Adam Yeah, you got to get some money out, buddy. Bring that 100 bucks with you. BT is, well, what's it about?

27:38 Guest Yeah, dude, no, you have to share. Forget who I am. What the hell is that all about?

27:42 Adam I'll explain it to our guest tonight, BT. Drew, who I've been dutifully sitting next to for almost five years now, explains on an almost nightly basis that a very high percentage of people have warts, have venereal warts.

27:57 Guest Is that true?

27:59 Adam General warts. Very common. Really? So Drew says, which makes me think he has it, but be that as it may. He throws out these statistics that seem incredibly high.

28:13 Guest Well, what's the number?

28:14 Drew It's like 30% in some situations.

28:16 Adam Well, you say higher than that normally.

28:18 Drew It might be.

28:20 Adam Okay. Well, no, not might be. No, it's probably lower. You usually say higher than 30%.

28:25 Drew 50% in some cases.

28:26 Adam Oh, you say it's like 110% in urban areas, whatever that means.

28:30 Drew Thousand percent.

28:30 Guest Well, dude, like three out of ten people is a lot to have warts.

28:34 Adam It struck me as a very high number myself. So I said to Drew, that sounds way too high. Right. He then got defensive and said, many people have it and don't know it. As a matter of fact, I'm sure you have it. I said I have two things to say to that. One is, how dare you? The second is, how dare you? So for months now, we've sort of argued back and forth about this. Finally, I put my foot where my underpants and wallet are and said, I'll bet you 100 bucks I don't have it. We'll do it on the air. We'll do the test on the air.

29:07 Guest Well, wait, this might be the obvious question. Forgive my ignorance. But how do you, wouldn't you know? I mean, how do you?

29:13 Adam I would hope. I would really, really hope that I knew.

29:16 Guest Is it not a visible thing?

29:17 Drew Sometimes, man, they have these pre-wort lesions that you have to shine the special light on and stuff to see. And we're going to do that tomorrow night.

29:23 Adam Now, how long can one harbor a pre-wort lesion?

29:28 Drew I don't know that, I bet you, I bet you years. I bet a certain percentage will never even get the ward. I don't know what that percentage is, though.

29:37 Adam Yeah, you ought to find that out. Because, see, for me, for me, that's an issue. You see what I'm saying?

29:42 Drew Yeah, it's how I'm going to get the 100 bucks.

29:44 Adam I've never had a wart on my penis, but I swear to Christ, I'm going to go home and dump vinegar on it tonight.

29:49 Drew I say, suddenly, you get a little nervous. Listen.

29:52 Adam He's sweating it.

29:52 Drew Yeah, we've missed our confidence until just now.

29:55 Adam I am supremely confident. Hold on, my penis is done.

29:58 What's that, baby?

29:59 Adam No, no.

30:01 Guest Dead man walking tomorrow.

30:03 Adam You have to be here tomorrow. Yes.

30:06 Drew You'll be afraid.

30:08 Adam It's okay. So Dr. Marcel, who is a friend of Dr. Bruce, who is, sorry, I look at him as the number one doctor now. The guy fills in for you three times a week when you're off making money and other endeavors. Dr. Marcel will come in here, who is a plastic surgeon. He'll also would like to rebut my statement calling plastic surgeons the pimps of the doctor world. Although I hope he leaves his gold nugget watch in his car and his pinky ring, because it's hard to make a point about not being a pimp when you've bought 1,500 bucks of jewelry off the QVC just that night.

30:48 Guest And how do you really feel?

30:50 Drew He will be inspecting.

30:51 Adam He's a pimp, this guy.

30:52 Drew He will be inspecting the penis.

30:54 Adam He will be inspecting the junk with you.

30:56 Drew Yes. And it will be a sort of a corroboration.

30:58 Adam We'll do it.

30:59 Drew I doubtily will see them.

31:02 Adam Molly Sims from the new host of MTV's House of Style will be in here. And I'm not sure what we'll do with her. I think we'll just have her turn her back or something.

31:15 Drew No, let's give her the magnifying glass so she'll be impressed.

31:19 Guest But wait a second. You're out of your mind. What if you, you know, I mean, say this.

31:25 Drew She's going to hear about it.

31:26 Adam I'm supremely confident in my penis.

31:28 Guest All right. OK, it's all good.

31:30 Adam Plus, the fact that I've never been with a woman really gives me that extra edge. It's not something I wanted to admit, but that's my trump card.

31:37 Drew It actually is what started worrying me. I started thinking, now wait a minute, from 16 or 14 to 28, when most guys are making awful mistakes.

31:45 Adam Right, not me.

31:46 Drew Corolla's under a house digging.

31:47 Adam Home whacking off.

31:48 Drew And whacking off.

31:49 Adam There you go.

31:50 Drew That's where my bet weakens.

31:51 Adam All right. We bring that 100 bucks in though. All right. We'll do it like the 11 o'clock hour tomorrow.

31:56 Drew Like 11.15.

31:57 Adam All right. That sounds like a good time. John? Yeah. You're 15. What's up? Hey, hold on a second. I was talking to a friend of mine about his penis at lunch today.

32:07 Drew Imagine that.

32:08 Adam And he said he got a wart in his urethra.

32:13 Drew Oh, yeah. Those are awful.

32:14 Adam Oh my God. In the urethra.

32:15 Drew Yeah, that happened.

32:16 Adam And I said, yeah. And what happened? And oh, I knew about it. I knew they burnt it off.

32:21 Guest Oh, that is so wrong.

32:22 Adam Yeah, that's bad times in the urethra. And God. And he said, I said, how many have you had since then? He said, I've never had one since then.

32:30 Drew Right.

32:31 Adam I said, how long has it been? It's been like 12 years.

32:33 Drew Yeah.

32:33 Adam How does that work?

32:35 Drew That A, he may have had some things they didn't notice as warrants. We could have put shine of the light on him and detected something. But more importantly, there is growing evidence that certain of the war viruses do go away. It's not a permanent thing.

32:47 Adam And how do you know?

32:48 Drew How do you know it's gone away?

32:50 Adam Yeah.

32:50 Drew You can't know for sure.

32:51 Adam But what is the likelihood of you having it and never having another outbreak or not for 10 years? You know what I mean?

32:58 Drew I'm sure you would have had some.

32:58 Adam Wouldn't you have assumed it is gone away in him?

33:01 Drew Yes.

33:02 Adam Good, because I gave him a blow job in the parking lot. Thank God.

33:05 Guest I always wonder where it's going.

33:06 Drew Who was it?

33:07 Adam No, I had no idea.

33:07 Drew Who was it?

33:08 Adam I don't want to mention Recycl. I can't do it. He'll kill me.

33:13 Drew You just said it.

33:15 Adam Shut up, you idiot. Just listen.

33:20 Drew How did you know him so well? How did that story escape ridicule?

33:26 Adam Oh, it didn't.

33:27 Drew What I want to know about it.

33:28 Guest What was the train of thought that you were on that got you to that point in the story?

33:32 Adam I was telling him about tomorrow night's festivity.

33:38 Drew You already knew about it.

33:39 Adam Oh, please. Everyone knew.

33:40 Drew Of course.

33:41 Adam Do you think my friends hide anything from me? Of course not. Jeff?

33:46 Hello?

33:46 Adam You're 17.

33:48 Caller What's up?

33:48 Adam What's up?

33:49 Caller I was wondering, one of my buds flipped out and on LSD is in the mental hospital. I was wondering, what are the effects of LSD long term? What the hell do they do to you?

33:58 Adam I'm going to turn down the al-demeola he has cranked up in the background. And Drew, you can answer the question.

34:04 Drew It will cause psychiatric illness. It causes depressions. It can cause temporary psychotic states. It can cause locked in syndromes, where you really feel like you're in a dream and don't come out. Panic attacks, anxiety, changes in your personality, all from brain damage.

34:22 Caller Elizabeth?

34:23 Yeah?

34:23 Adam You're 14?

34:24 Caller Yeah.

34:25 Caller What's up?

34:26 Caller Not much. I listen to your show every night.

34:30 Adam Thanks.

34:31 Caller Yeah.

34:32 Caller Yeah.

34:34 Caller Every day, even on menstrual periods, I have this sharp pain in the area of my ovary. I'm not really sure what it is.

34:44 Drew Which side?

34:46 Caller The left side.

34:47 Drew Any chance you're constipated?

34:49 Adam Really?

34:50 Caller Yeah.

34:53 Caller My mom said it's probably normal.

34:55 Drew Well, there's lots of things it could be.

34:57 Adam Well, are you constipated? No.

35:00 Drew On the left side, it can be constipation.

35:01 Adam Is she saying no?

35:02 Drew She said no.

35:02 Guest She said no, yeah.

35:03 Adam All right. Well, she said yeah, the first time.

35:04 Drew It can be, are you sexually active?

35:07 Caller Oh, no. Not at all.

35:08 Drew Okay. It can be ovarian cyst. It can be endometriosis. It can be just normal dysmenorrhea.

35:13 Adam Left side of the ovaries, that'd be to my left if I had ovaries, or my left if I was on her ovaries.

35:20 Drew Your left if you had ovaries.

35:23 Adam Uh-huh. And the bowel goes by there?

35:26 Drew The rectum goes right by there.

35:28 Adam Oh, really? Fascinating.

35:30 Drew Boy, you guys are really into this.

35:31 Adam So if you have, you're saying women have rectums as well?

35:36 Drew They do.

35:37 Guest Adam doesn't want to know that. He's like, dude, please.

35:39 Adam They come with everything now, those bras. They're loaded right out of the factory. And what do you do? How does constipation cause that kind of pain?

35:50 Drew It's pain uncomfortable.

35:53 Adam Never been constipated a day in my life.

35:55 Guest Yeah.

35:55 Adam Never.

35:56 Drew Proud to know.

35:57 Adam Never once.

35:58 Drew That's nice.

35:58 Guest Adam's a brand serial kind of guy.

36:00 Adam I'm very, very regular. And I tell Drew I have three or four good movements a day, and I deem myself healthy because of that. And he says it makes no difference. He says if I want once every three days, it wouldn't make a difference.

36:13 Drew Doesn't make a difference.

36:14 Adam And that just leads me to believe that not only do you have warts, but you only crap once a month. Those are now the two things I believe about you, Drew. Danny? Danny?

36:25 Drew No, John.

36:26 Adam Oh, what am I looking at? Oh, I'm sorry. I looked at the arrow. John?

36:29 Yeah.

36:29 Adam Sorry there, brother. You're 15?

36:31 Caller Yeah.

36:31 Hi, guys.

36:32 Caller I listen to you every night. You guys are great.

36:34 Adam Thanks. You have a three-year-old kid?

36:35 Yeah.

36:36 Adam You do?

36:36 Caller Yeah.

36:37 Drew I had a child when you were 12.

36:39 Caller Yeah.

36:40 Really?

36:41 Adam How old is the mom?

36:43 Caller She's 20.

36:44 Adam OK. Hold on a second, John. I'm going to evacuate my system, all right?

36:49 Drew Yeah, I'm going to join you.

36:50 Adam All right. We'll do that and then we'll BT is our guest and I will hear something else off of his movement and still life CD before the night is up and we'll get back and speak to John, who is a three year old at age 15 after this.

37:04 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:42 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LVE-191. Tune in tomorrow night. Watch me get the vinegar dumped on my groin, and then a black light shined on it. Oh boy, if I can work a fart up, if I could work a fart up when Marcel and you were down amongst my junk.

38:01 Guest That is wrong.

38:02 Drew Whether you win or lose, it will be a sort of triumphant moment for you all.

38:06 Guest Thank God I'm here tonight.

38:08 Adam That's right.

38:08 Guest Thank you, God.

38:09 Adam Wait a minute, I gotta make a mental note. I'm trying to think of what gives me the good gas.

38:14 Drew Cherries and beer.

38:15 Adam Cherries and beer works nicely.

38:17 Guest Cherries and beer.

38:18 Drew That was, were those dried cherries?

38:20 Adam No, fresh bing cherries.

38:22 Drew Disgusting.

38:24 Adam I went over to Kari Wurr's house. She had a little soiree for her VH1 TV show one night. And because I have this job, it's great. I'm the guy who shows up at parties for 36 minutes and then leaves. But I can still catch a nice buzz and eat a lot of cherries. In that time, I sat down at Kari's house, I had a couple of beers, I ate about seven, eight pounds of cherries. And then I came in here and destroyed the room.

38:52 Guest Evacuated the whole building, huh?

38:54 Drew Evacuated his foul.

38:56 Adam That's right.

38:57 Guest Real nice.

38:58 Adam I made number two right on the console.

39:00 Guest Real nice.

39:00 Adam All right, so Movement Still Life is the name of BT's CD. And when we left off, we were speaking to John. John is 15, has a three year old.

39:12 Drew With a 20 year old.

39:13 Adam She was 20 at the time she gave birth, or she's 20 now?

39:17 Caller She's 20 now.

39:18 Adam 20 now, so.

39:18 Drew 17 and 12.

39:19 Adam You were 12 and she was 17.

39:21 Caller Yeah.

39:22 Adam Was she a babysitter?

39:24 Caller No, she was a friend.

39:25 Drew A friend.

39:27 Caller Yeah, but about a year ago, she decided that she didn't want to be a mom anymore. So she left the baby with, she left the kid with me. My parents now are her legal guardians.

39:37 Drew How old was she when the mom left?

39:40 Caller She was two, yeah.

39:42 Drew That is so potentially damaging.

39:46 Adam Where did she go to?

39:48 Caller I have no idea.

39:50 Adam So you really, you don't even know how to contact her?

39:53 Caller No.

39:54 Adam I see. Were you guys boyfriend and girlfriend or just have a one night thing?

39:58 Caller Yeah, it was like a one night thing.

40:01 Adam You were producing sperm at 12?

40:04 Caller Yeah.

40:05 Caller Really?

40:07 Adam I didn't masturbate until I was 16 years old. I couldn't believe it. At 12, you know, a good and plenty came out of my penis at 12. I swear to Christ, it did. I could only produce the pink, good and plenty.

40:21 Guest Oh my God.

40:22 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ.

40:23 Guest So what's his question?

40:26 Caller Well, she's the main thing in my life right now. So I was just wondering if there's any places I could go, like for support and help.

40:34 Adam Well, how's your parents?

40:38 Guest Yeah, that's an important one.

40:39 Drew How are they as parents?

40:40 Guest How's your relationship?

40:41 Caller They're good. They're great.

40:43 Adam Yeah. Well, there's an organization, unfortunately, entitled STD, Single Teenage Dads, which is out of, I think they're in Virginia somewhere. You could probably try writing them. No, I'm just kidding. Your parents are doing the work, right?

41:01 Caller Yeah.

41:01 Adam All right. That's fine. And for them, it's like having a kid, because what, they're in their 30s?

41:05 Caller Yeah, 40.

41:07 Drew What is it you want support on? On being a dad or being a single teen parent?

41:11 Caller Yeah, being a dad. Yeah, it's just hard for me right now.

41:16 Drew How about just going to some teen group? It's a support group of some type.

41:19 Guest What about therapy or something? Just somebody to talk to, you know?

41:23 Drew Can you afford that?

41:25 Caller Yeah, I could probably go to therapy.

41:26 Drew Go to therapy. That'd be great.

41:28 Guest That'd be great for you just to have somebody to talk to.

41:30 Adam Dear folks, I mean, I picture them as just full-blown hillbillies. No. Did your dad, what's he do? He works at a still or what's he do?

41:40 Caller No, he's a manager at a car dealership.

41:44 Adam Big wide tie and full of piss and vinegar?

41:48 Caller Yeah.

41:48 Adam Yeah, that's great guys. Those guys are flawed, those car dealership guys. All right, but he makes okay money?

41:53 Caller Yeah.

41:54 Adam Okay.

41:54 Drew Taking care of it through.

41:55 Adam All right. Good.

41:57 Guest He's got a list of therapies.

41:58 Adam Oh, jeez. I mean, can you imagine like you got a list? It's like get a kid vaccinated and go for learner's permit.

42:07 Guest Exactly.

42:09 Adam I mean, how bizarre is that? And as a 12, can you knock? I thought only, hold on a second. John?

42:16 Yeah.

42:16 Adam You're not black, are you?

42:17 No.

42:18 Drew Okay.

42:18 Adam I thought only black kids could produce sperm at 12 years old, Drew. That's what you told me off the air.

42:23 Drew I didn't tell you that. And it's not only that.

42:25 Guest Why the hell does he come up with his stuff, man?

42:27 Adam I had no idea that a white kid could do that at 12. Really? I thought it was only black and Latino that could do that.

42:34 Drew No, 12 year olds, actually, most, between 12 and 14, 12 and 14 is when it starts to...

42:40 Adam No way. No way was sperm coming out of me at 12.

42:43 Drew By 14, most males are in full swing.

42:46 Adam No, Drew, you were not in full swing at 12. BT?

42:49 Drew Not at 12.

42:50 Guest Well, around there.

42:51 Adam Really?

42:52 Guest Yeah.

42:52 Drew Adam, you were, you were...

42:54 Adam Was it sixth grade? What are you, in the sixth grade?

42:57 Guest No, it's like seventh grade or something, man.

42:59 Adam Well, yeah, but when you were in the seventh grade, you were nine, right? You were like one of those prodigy kids. You didn't go to regular school. You were like sitting next to...

43:09 Guest No, that's not true...

43:09 Adam .a kid named Yo-Yo Junior.

43:12 Guest Shut it.

43:13 Adam In the seventh grade. But, Drew, when did something come out of you? 13? 14, maybe? Oh, 10?

43:20 Drew No.

43:22 Adam Drew, you're very feral. Drew doesn't like it when I talk this way.

43:27 Guest Yeah, he didn't let you know that he's...

43:28 Adam Let me tell you something about Drew, ladies. He is a very passionate, passionate man. Very passionate. Am I right, Drew?

43:37 Drew Very.

43:37 Adam Yeah, I know you're a man of medicine, but first, you're a man. And you're very passionate. A lot of people don't know that about you.

43:45 Drew I love that show that you turned me on to about interior design.

43:48 Adam Oh.

43:48 Drew Passionately.

43:51 Guest I can't wait till one time during this show, Dr. Drew just like gets on you the whole show.

43:56 Adam He can't.

43:57 Guest When's that going to happen?

43:58 Adam He doesn't have the verbal skills.

43:59 Guest That needs to happen.

44:00 Adam He doesn't have the verbal firepower to do it.

44:03 Drew It's not skill, it's firepower.

44:05 Adam Yeah.

44:05 Drew There's a little bit difference there.

44:06 Adam He's weak.

44:08 Drew We actually were asked to yell at each other on that movie set that one time. Remember that?

44:11 Adam What did you guys do? We did a Brooke Shields movie. Right.

44:15 Drew Is that ever coming out?

44:17 Adam I have the tape of it.

44:18 Drew Can I borrow it?

44:19 Adam You want it?

44:19 Guest What's it called? Are you not allowed to say it?

44:22 Adam No, I have no idea.

44:23 Drew What it's called?

44:23 Adam Yeah. Do you know?

44:25 Drew What it's called?

44:26 Adam I've been told a couple of times, but I have no idea what it's called. It's a decent enough movie. I'll bring it to you.

44:32 Guest Anyway.

44:33 Drew Is that part in the film where we're screaming at each other? Yeah.

44:36 Adam I think so.

44:36 Drew So tell them the story.

44:38 Guest So did you chill them out, Drew? You get them good?

44:40 Drew No, I got blown away. Really? He told me he majored in cussing in high school.

44:46 Adam I did? I don't remember that. That's how good I am.

44:50 Drew That I couldn't possibly come here. I think he was right.

44:53 Adam Drew has a low self-esteem. I know exactly where his Achilles heel is. It's actually his entire body. His Achilles heel goes from his instep up to the crown of his head. I look at him as one big Achilles heel. Jessica?

45:07 Caller Yes.

45:08 Adam You're 14.

45:09 Caller I'm 13. I'm going to be 14.

45:10 Adam Okay. How old's your kid?

45:12 Caller She's not my daughter. She's my god sister.

45:14 Adam There is a kid in there?

45:16 Caller Yeah.

45:16 Adam I didn't know that. I was just kidding.

45:18 Caller She's seven.

45:19 Drew What's going on? What's going on? Me?

45:23 Caller Yeah.

45:24 Adam All right. I'm just going to put her on hold for 10 seconds.

45:27 Caller All right.

45:27 Adam Now we're going to get back to it. What's your question, Jessica?

45:30 Caller Okay. She was raped by her grandfather and her grandmother and her mother. Nobody's pressing charges on him. Nobody's doing anything. And I'm really scared for her because I don't want her to be like one of your idiot callers. And I want to help her-

45:42 Drew How old is she? How old is she?

45:44 Adam Seven.

45:44 Guest What's going on?

45:46 Adam You're talking about your- Who is this person?

45:49 Drew My god sister.

45:50 Adam Your god sister. So this is the daughter of a close family friend.

45:56 Caller Right.

45:57 Drew Can I give you a couple of 800 numbers that you can call?

46:00 Adam And how do you know the grandfather raped her?

46:02 Caller Because her-

46:04 Caller What is she?

46:06 Caller I don't know. Her aunt, I guess, who's my friend. She's my age. She told me about it. And because she had gone over to some foster home or something because her mom was doing crack and they weren't going to let her stay with her grandmother. And the woman there raped her too. And I just don't want her to end up like messed up.

46:24 Adam Where's your mom?

46:25 Caller My mom downstairs.

46:26 Adam Oh, really?

46:27 Drew Israel.

46:28 Adam She's doing all right?

46:30 Caller My mom's fine. I'm okay.

46:31 Drew Here's two 800 numbers for you. Ready?

46:33 Adam Don't get defensive. I'm just asking.

46:35 Drew 5404000.

46:38 Adam What is that number?

46:39 Drew That's Child Abuse Hotline.

46:41 Caller Okay.

46:41 Drew And also 800-422-4453.

46:48 Caller Okay.

46:49 Drew And I'll tell you what, at drdrew.com, we're about to set up a service that we can go case by case and actually try to help out in situations like this. You might look on the chats for Scott, who runs the chats there, and see if he can help you.

47:01 Caller Right. So I should report this to the police or anything.

47:03 Drew Yeah, you should.

47:04 Guest Definitely should.

47:05 Adam You don't think it's been reported yet?

47:07 Caller No, because nobody's done anything. She said that her grandmother was scared to tell him because she thought that he was going to hit her or something.

47:16 Guest Is this like an ongoing thing? It's an ongoing thing.

47:18 Adam All right. Oh, boy. Poor Jessica. Hey, honey? After you take care of this, just go to school and lock yourself in the library and don't come out until you're 18.

47:27 Caller Yeah, I get straight A's in school. I'm a good...

47:29 Adam Oh, you do?

47:29 Caller I'm straight.

47:30 Adam Straight A's?

47:31 Caller Yeah.

47:32 Guest Good. Way to go.

47:33 Adam All right. Go far away to college. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And hey, go kick your mom in the crotch and ask her why these people are her best friends. You know what I'm saying?

47:45 Caller I don't know.

47:46 Adam What's up with her? I mean, she knows how to pick them.

47:49 Caller My mom's a nice person. But she's like a real charity woman. She tries to help everybody.

47:55 Guest I understand. That's what my mom's like.

47:57 Caller Pick people who she can help.

47:58 Adam Yeah. My mom's the same way except for her charities herself. All right. We will...

48:05 Guest I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear that.

48:07 Adam Oh, my parents are so done with me. We'll take ourselves a little break. BT is here tonight and we'll be back. Hear something from him after this. Cool. Loveline. Loveline.

48:17 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:20 Adam We'll be right back. Yep, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. BT is our guest tonight. He's got himself out a CD. It's called Movement in Still Life, and we're going to hear something else off of it coming up in this hour. I like BT by the way. He's got a nice combination between smart and boyish charm. Wouldn't you say, Drew? Something delightful about him? Oh, yeah. A nice contrast to most of our hardened criminal rock guys.

49:38 Guest The whole pimp kind of.

49:40 Adam Yeah, the guys who come in here with the attitudes.

49:44 Guest I'm upset I missed that one.

49:45 Adam Gabby, yeah. We were talking about the pimp, Huggy Bear. What was his name?

49:49 Guest Rosebud.

49:50 Adam Rosebud.

49:51 Guest Rosebud. Is that a Citizen Kane reference, or is that something much harder that we wouldn't be able to play to?

49:57 Adam That he was a big fan of Orson Welles. Right on.

50:02 Drew Phil Noir.

50:02 Adam He did have an Orson Welles tattoo on his thigh, didn't he?

50:07 Oh, my God.

50:08 Adam Or was that Ho Chi Man? I couldn't figure out who that was.

50:11 Drew It was the Reaper dude.

50:12 Adam Oh, that's right. It was the Zigzag Man. That's right. That's right. It was either Ho Chi Man, Orson Welles or the Zigzag Guy. What is that Zigzag Guy? I think he's got a French name. He wears a bandana around his head.

50:29 Guest I have no idea who that is.

50:31 Drew You don't know who we're talking about, even?

50:34 Adam The Zigzag Guy?

50:35 Guest Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

50:37 Adam Gabby?

50:38 Caller Yes?

50:38 Adam Hey, if anyone knows the name of the Zigzag mascot man.

50:43 Drew Logo, yeah.

50:44 Guest Something tells me the listeners will definitely know the name of the Zigzag Guy.

50:48 Caller I have no idea.

50:49 Adam Gabby, what's up? 25.

50:51 Caller Yeah, I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and he's been bugging me about anal sex, and I just want to know what's the deal with that. I don't know. I asked some of my guy friends, and they're all into that, but I don't know. Why do they make such a big deal? I don't understand.

51:05 Drew What did your guy friends say? Because we're curious, too.

51:08 Caller Absolutely. I know. Well, they want to feel like they're the first, or it's like a sense of conquerness. I don't know.

51:14 Adam It's a power, yeah.

51:15 Guest It's a control issue.

51:16 Caller Yeah.

51:17 Adam I don't know.

51:18 Caller What's the deal? What's the deal with guys in anal sex?

51:20 Adam Well, for women, you know, there's a sort of, you know, prove you love me by packing a picnic basket and picking some daisies and taking me out to the country. And for guys, it's like, spread your ass and prove you love me. Yeah, it's a power play. It's a control thing. It's not a sensation thing. And it's, as Drew said, it's a sort of conquering thing. Or maybe BT said that.

51:46 Caller I'm sorry. I wanted to ask Dr. Drew, if I do, I mean, for women who do have anal sex, if he's ever seen, like, their feces just kind of, like, flop out, I mean, is there any side effects?

51:56 Drew Have I ever seen that? I've not actually witnessed. Seen what?

51:58 Adam Flop out?

51:59 Drew Feces.

52:00 Adam Feces. Yes, back when he was a resident at County USC, and they were conducting horn-holing trials, I believe.

52:09 Guest Anal sex experiments.

52:10 Adam How many lineal feet of fecal matter did you see come out of the-

52:14 Drew We have the control group.

52:17 Adam Control group A, I think, which used a placebo penis in the rectum. Now, how did that go, Drew, and what did the bell curve look like?

52:29 Caller Oh my God.

52:32 Adam So Drew, you have not in fact seen any fecal matter come flying out of one's rectum during anal sex?

52:38 Drew Why do you so eloquently put it, flop out?

52:41 Guest I have a question about this whole one, because what we're talking about, it's like a control thing and stuff. Is it true, and I've heard this from people, that women are capable of having an orgasm like that?

52:52 Drew That is true.

52:53 Guest And is it the same kind of orgasm that a woman has from regular sex?

52:59 Drew Why don't we get some phone calls and ask them?

53:00 Adam All right.

53:01 Guest I'm just curious about that, because I knew you'd be able to.

53:05 Adam So far, we've not really been able to tell the difference between different orgasms. Some women bring it up, but then when you question them, it always sort of gets back to the same one.

53:15 Drew Yeah. It's just a little, the quality is slightly different, but men can have kind of different experiences, too. More intense, less intense, you know?

53:22 Adam Right. Right. Yeah.

53:23 Guest Just curious. Threw that out there.

53:25 Adam Amber? What's up?

53:28 Caller Well, I'm 16, and I'm pregnant, but I'm kind of scared to tell my mom. And my boyfriend, my ex now, he got me pregnant, and now he wants to, doesn't want anything to do with me.

53:40 Drew What's your plan?

53:42 Caller Well, I'm planning, I want to take care of it, but I'm scared because my mom, she was 16 when she first had me, too.

53:51 Drew Shocked.

53:52 Adam Well, I am flabbergasted.

53:54 Guest How many months pregnant are you?

53:55 Adam What a surprise. And hold on one second. That's why, by the way, when I'm in charge, BT, you may not appreciate this, but this is going to be the way it's going to work when I'm in charge. When I find 16-year-old moms who are pregnant, I'm going to get on them and sterilize their kids immediately because I know the likelihood of their daughter becoming pregnant at 16 goes up 3,000 times.

54:18 Guest I bet.

54:18 Adam Absolutely.

54:19 Guest I bet. I bet.

54:20 Adam Amber? All right. So your mom, well, why should your mom be mad? She's the one that made you do it.

54:26 Drew That's right.

54:27 Adam Well, not made you do it, but it's not a coincidence.

54:30 Guest It's predisposition to that kind of thing.

54:32 Drew So I'll tell your mom, you need support with this. You can call Planned Parenthood. There's lots of places you can plan. You can call for counseling. But it's, let's see, what's Planned Parenthood number?

54:41 Adam How about a nice abortion? What do you think?

54:44 Drew 800-230-PLAN, 230-PLAN.

54:46 Guest How many months pregnant is she?

54:48 Adam How far along are you, Amber?

54:50 Caller Three months.

54:51 Adam Three months. Yeah. You gotta start talking to somebody, all right?

54:54 Drew You're gonna see it through now, so.

54:56 Caller Okay.

54:56 Adam Where's your brothers and sisters?

54:59 Caller I have one sister, but we're like six kids apart.

55:02 Drew Is she older?

55:03 Caller Yeah.

55:04 Adam All right.

55:04 Guest Definitely talk to your mom about it.

55:05 Drew That was a 16-year-old pregnant.

55:07 Adam Wait a minute.

55:08 Drew That was the, she had Amber when she was 22.

55:11 Adam Your older sisters, you're-

55:12 Caller No, I have a younger sister.

55:15 Adam Okay. All right. Okay. Hey, Amber? You should not raise an avocado seed in the window of your kitchen. Do you understand?

55:24 Guest Brussels sprouts, yeah.

55:26 Adam Do you understand?

55:26 Guest No Chia Pets, nothing.

55:28 Adam Nothing wrong with you. It's just you're 16 and your mom is too close to you. So please give the child up for adoption.

55:36 Drew How much more strongly can we say that none of us at the table here would have been prepared to even come close to managing a pregnancy, a child, any of that at 16?

55:46 Guest Oh my God, no way. Yeah.

55:47 Drew Oh my God.

55:48 Adam I would have traded the kid for some comic books.

55:51 Drew Pokemon cards if you had been on it.

55:53 Adam If there had been Pokemon, wacky packs I think is what we had back then. Yeah. I would have traded my child for a model of a hot rod.

56:02 Guest Imagine what that would have been like if you were 16.

56:03 Drew Let's just restate the morning after pill is available. It's about 20 bucks. You can probably get a free through Planned Parenthood. Keep it in your medicine cabinet. If you have an accident, take that goddamn morning after pill within three days and you will hopefully avoid a pregnancy.

56:16 Guest I didn't know that that was legal in America. I knew that was legal outside of America.

56:19 Drew It's not an abortion pill. It's just a plain old birth control pill taking a little higher doses after the fact, suppresses ovulation just the way the normal birth control pill works.

56:27 Guest Really?

56:28 Drew It's exactly the same way.

56:29 Guest How does that work? It's like taking a couple...

56:32 Drew The pregnancies occur because when ovulation, if there's either an egg sitting there at the time of or within three days of that intercourse. If you take a hormone that prevents or delays the ovulation beyond that three-day window, you'll prevent the pregnancy. So all you gotta do is take a little hormone that prevents the LH surge and the egg from popping out of the ovary, no more pregnancy. So if you take that pill while there's an egg sitting there, you're getting pregnant. But if you hit it right, take the pill, no pregnancy.

57:02 Adam Let me go on a very minor 20 minute tie right here because I have not done this in a long time. My ass is so chapped from all this. Actually, my ass is chapped from wearing chaps.

57:15 Drew Here's a genius level guy that the press is so screwed up at that even you weren't aware that this thing is there. Everyone confuses it with RU486.

57:23 Guest Yeah. I absolutely did not know that that was.

57:28 Drew Kills me.

57:28 Adam All right. Here's what I want to say. This morning after pill should be considered a tremendous breakthrough.

57:37 Drew The cure for abortion.

57:38 Adam The cure for abortion.

57:40 Guest Absolutely.

57:40 Adam The cure for unwanted children, teen pregnancy, one of the biggest problems this country has, and I'm going to spell it out. I'll do it very quickly. Every problem in this country and or every other country on this planet. Every problem on this planet can be traced back to unwanted children, bad parenting, and people having kids too soon.

58:06 Guest Absolutely.

58:06 Adam Not ready, broken families.

58:08 Guest I totally agree.

58:09 Adam Every problem.

58:10 Guest I totally agree.

58:12 Adam Go to some crappy third world country. You want to know what the big problem is there? Way too many kids.

58:17 Guest Overpopulation.

58:18 Adam Not enough resources, not enough parenting.

58:21 Guest Totally.

58:21 Adam That's what the problem is. There's only so many jobs to go around.

58:26 Guest Absolutely, man.

58:27 Adam Now, look, go find out what's going on in prison. Find out, do a quick survey of everyone in prison. You think they come from families where people are employed and mommy and daddy love each other and they're still together?

58:40 Guest Yeah, no. No, it's totally true, man.

58:43 Adam Unemployment, crime, everything in this country and this planet is due to bad parenting, unwanted children, teen pregnancies. I've said it a thousand times, Drew has triplets. Fine, do we ever have to worry about Drew's triplets?

59:01 Guest Well, of course not. He sure is a fantastic dad.

59:03 Adam They'll be gay, that is their life. We will not judge them for it. But the point is, is they will be raised in an environment with providers and loving parents.

59:12 Guest Totally, man.

59:12 Adam And the day we have everyone raised in that environment is the day we can all throw away our car alarms, the day we can take the club off the steering wheel, the day we can leave our briefcases on the hood of the car.

59:26 Drew Laptop computers in the airport.

59:28 Adam Laptop computers can be left at the terminal and all you got to do when this day finally comes is put your name and phone number on everything you own, your wallet, your laptop, and your car fender, and it will be returned to you promptly.

59:45 Guest You know what, though? I got something to say about this, though. I think it says something about society actually in America that it's not like that anyway, because you go to a place like Japan where the population per square foot is so much greater than we have in America.

59:58 Drew But they all have families. They're all together.

59:59 Guest Okay, fair enough. Maybe that's what it is, because it really, it was amazing to me going to a place like Japan and seeing that the people were like, oh, you could leave a bag on a bench here and leave for hours. And there's literally like thousands, millions of people, like, forget downtown Manhattan, you know? And you can walk on the street in the middle of the night and there's not crime, you know?

1:00:21 Adam Right. And we could have that, too. And other countries could have that, too, if we did away with unwanted pregnancies. Now, everyone is horrified by abortion? Great. All of you hypocrite, Bible-thumping Republicans should be on board with the morning after pill. This should be, you know that God, all you a-holes believe in that doesn't really exist, but who you quote all the time because you're basically lemmings. This should be-

1:00:55 Guest You let them go on like this.

1:00:56 Adam This should be what they call a godsend. This should be the answer for you people. You're so busy out protesting and blowing up abortion clinics, you don't realize there is an answer. It is this morning after pill. It is not an aborted fetus. It is a way to avoid it. Why aren't you people getting involved with this? Where are the right wing Republicans? Why isn't Walmart carrying this? Walmart is now banned this. Really? Yes. Yes. They do not distribute this in their pharmacy or reason and help.

1:01:32 Drew That is the reason being-

1:01:33 Adam They have.

1:01:33 Guest Now why the hell could they say that?

1:01:34 Drew Early on in the use of this product-

1:01:36 Adam I'll tell you why.

1:01:37 Drew Hold on, Drew. Let me just tell you what the history is.

1:01:39 Guest I'm really curious about this.

1:01:40 Drew Early on in the use of this product, there was concern that it may have worked by preventing implantation, that it may alter the lining of the uterus. The science now shows clearly that the effectiveness of this pill correlates with its ability to suppress ovulation.

1:01:53 Guest Okay, so it just prevents-

1:01:55 Drew The egg from being released.

1:01:56 Guest Yeah, okay.

1:01:56 Drew That it does cause some uterine changes, the same as the normal birth control pill, the same as Celebrex and Vioxx anti-inflammatories. Those are all things that cause the lining of the uterus to change.

1:02:05 Guest Right.

1:02:05 Drew Really? Nobody's pulled those from the shelf. Now if you want to pull all that, fine. Then you're consistent. That makes sense to me. But you let those things stay, but this one we're going to pull from the shelf, and this is the one that can prevent abortion, doesn't make any sense at all.

1:02:19 Adam Right.

1:02:19 Guest It's a conspiracy.

1:02:20 Adam This is a huge breakthrough. Well, let me explain.

1:02:23 Guest I'm glad you're ranting about this, actually.

1:02:25 Adam I was totally. I got more, and I haven't gotten pissed off yet.

1:02:27 Drew It's the one chance that we can really make it to a impactful difference in the media.

1:02:29 Guest I mean, like I said, I had absolutely no awareness whatsoever this whole time.

1:02:34 Adam Let me explain why the people who are so vehemently against abortion are not out there parading around with this pill, trying to start an awareness campaign. They're not against abortion. They're pro-complainers. They like to pass judgment. They like to complain. They like to write letters. They like to get righteous. And they like to talk about Jesus Christ. They're not interested in helping people. They don't give a rat's ass about those poor fetuses. Give me a break, you Bible thumping rednecks. You guys want to save some fetuses, you'll get behind this, but you won't do that. Why? Because that's a solution, and you're not interested in solutions. You're interested in getting up on a soapbox and spouting your BS rhetoric. That's what you're interested in. Just admit it. Just admit it, and I'd have more respect for you. You're more interested in passing judgment than you are in actually looking for a solution. And why is it that the pussy Democrats haven't gotten behind this? And how come you never hear anybody talk about it, never hear a politician discuss it? It drives me insane.

1:03:43 Guest Well, that's why I personally like not to go on the whole political thing, but loved someone like John McCain so much. It's because the first time you saw somebody that was a politician that was actually talking about stuff, you know?

1:03:54 Adam Yeah, I like the guy because he blew up his own ship in Vietnam.

1:03:59 Guest Yeah, he was badass, but I don't think this country is prepared for people that actually speak their mind, you know?

1:04:05 Adam Oh, now politicians are such pussies and they're scared to death and they don't want to make a move, but listen, unwanted pregnancies, unwanted children, the number one concern of this, forget about building more prisons, forget it, forget about the education system, forget about unemployment, work on this, that'll all magically go away.

1:04:23 Guest So why don't you guys, you know, you guys should start some kind of like lobbying thing or there must be some sort of way to put into action.

1:04:30 Drew I have tried.

1:04:31 Adam Oh, you don't try anything.

1:04:32 Drew I met with a whole group in New York.

1:04:34 Adam You're just too busy going around the country looking for quarters.

1:04:36 Drew I met with Planned Parenthood, the campaign to end teen pregnancy.

1:04:40 Adam Oh, listen, hold on you Planned Parenthood idiots. Meanwhile, these Planned Parenthood guys, who I generally respect for what they're trying to do, don't go about their job correctly either. They get supermodels to go up the Capitol Hill and read off three by five cards in front of Congress.

1:04:56 Guest Wait, I'm really curious what you were saying, Drew.

1:04:58 Drew People I met with are extremely competent professionals who are-

1:05:02 Adam Oh, I don't know about competent.

1:05:03 Drew No, they aren't. They made a mistake with that particular project. But they are trying to form coalitions. The problem there is, and interestingly, there's a lot of turf. Because people get funded by government, and they each need to protect their turf in order to protect their funding, until they can't form coalitions.

1:05:19 Guest I mean, the whole thing I don't get, though, is how can, like what you were talking about, how can something like Vioxx or, you know, that's an anti-inflammatory, isn't it? Something like that, do the exact same thing, and be totally, you know, paradoxical.

1:05:32 Drew It gets under the radar. Makes no sense.

1:05:34 Guest That makes no sense.

1:05:34 Drew The whole thing, when you sit down and look at what is known about these things, it makes you nuts.

1:05:39 Adam Alright. So the point is, is there something called a morning after pill? You can take it when the condom breaks. It should be in vending machines at grammar school, as far as I'm concerned.

1:05:48 Guest Absolutely, man.

1:05:49 Adam And it drives me insane that we're having poor girls put in this position with their decisions. And yes, you Bible thumpers, she could have chose not to have sex, and she didn't choose not to have sex, and now she should pay. I agree. Danny?

1:06:02 Drew Unfortunately, I think that's what's behind some of this.

1:06:04 Adam That's behind all of it.

1:06:05 Guest Yeah.

1:06:06 Adam All of it.

1:06:06 Guest Absolutely.

1:06:07 Adam All of it. It's not the unborn fetus. It's the sinner who didn't abstain.

1:06:12 Guest I can't believe I'm agreeing with Adam about this.

1:06:14 Adam Go ahead, Danny. Listen, I have all your pussy's numbers. I have all your numbers. I know exactly how all you idiots think. Believe me. So don't give me any of your crap. I'll see you in hell, you idiots. Please, idiots. Oh boy. Danny, you're 30. Bails a bub.

1:06:31 Drew This is coming in as Danny.

1:06:32 Adam Yeah.

1:06:33 How are you guys doing tonight?

1:06:34 Drew Good.

1:06:35 Guest Good, man.

1:06:35 Good, good. Shortly after my second set of twins were born, I had a vasectomy.

1:06:41 Drew Second set of twins. God bless you. I don't know if many other people can appreciate what that means.

1:06:47 You have triplets?

1:06:49 Drew Yes.

1:06:49 Guest You have triplets? I didn't realize that.

1:06:52 Drew Yes.

1:06:53 Adam You didn't see that issue of Playboy?

1:06:55 Guest I see it settled down.

1:06:58 Wow. So it was shortly after that I had a vasectomy.

1:07:03 Drew Good.

1:07:04 Caller And...

1:07:05 Guest Good, man.

1:07:06 Caller Is what?

1:07:07 Adam Good.

1:07:07 Guest Good.

1:07:08 Caller Yeah.

1:07:08 Adam Good.

1:07:08 Caller Okay. My wife keeps wanting... My wife and I keep wanting to know that as we've got... As I've gotten older, I know we've noticed like less ejaculate, like coming out, like when we have sex, you know, just recently we were away from each other for a week and I behaved myself, didn't spank it, nothing like that. And when she got back home, we had some awesome sex. And she gave me that look like, well, while I was gone, did you like spank the monkey, you know?

1:07:50 Drew How does she know?

1:07:53 Adam Graduated cylinder she keeps talking about. Same way they measure rainfall.

1:07:58 Guest Read the meniscus.

1:08:00 Adam This elaborate gutter system on the side of the bed that eventually drains into one graduated cylinder. Oh my God.

1:08:08 Drew In her mouth.

1:08:10 Adam Yeah.

1:08:11 Drew Yeah, I'm curious too, so how does she know?

1:08:13 Adam Oh, wait a minute, I'm sorry.

1:08:15 Drew I'm sorry, Danny.

1:08:16 Adam Danny, how did she know?

1:08:18 Caller I don't know.

1:08:21 Drew Has the...

1:08:22 Adam Where did it go? In her or on her?

1:08:25 Caller Oh yeah, oh in her.

1:08:26 Drew Did the intensity of the orgasm change for you?

1:08:29 Caller Oh yeah, I mean it was like eyeballs in the back of the head.

1:08:33 Drew Yes, but generally it hasn't really changed for you.

1:08:35 Caller No.

1:08:35 Drew I forget it. So what's there to worry about?

1:08:37 Guest Yeah man, it's cool.

1:08:38 Caller She was, well it's, oh that's the best thing about a vasectomy is you get to stay in and not have to worry about that.

1:08:45 Guest That's right, sure man.

1:08:47 Adam All right, well who cares? Tell your mom, your mom was a Freudian slip there. Tell your wife to relax.

1:08:53 Drew Yeah, that's ridiculous. There will be no change in the volume of semen, no change in intensity of orgasm, no change in your functioning overall period.

1:09:00 Adam By the way, and I've not done extensive experimentation with not masturbating for a period of time. Why do I believe that? But I really, I've never gone more than like six hours. I think six and a half hours.

1:09:13 Drew Personal best.

1:09:15 Adam How long is the flight to New York? I think that's my personal best. Oh my God. The LA to Toronto or something. The point is, I noticed that if I go a little while without it, the first one isn't necessarily the big one. Sometimes it's the second one, the one that's on death.

1:09:34 Drew The way the vasectomy works, it just ties off the tiny tube that propagates the actual sperm cells into the semen. The semen still gets produced in the same volume.

1:09:43 Guest Does that affect the quality of an orgasm for men?

1:09:46 Drew They're more intense for a little while after the procedure. That's it.

1:09:49 Guest Really? Interesting.

1:09:51 Adam We'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Brad. Brad is 19. Brad?

1:09:54 Caller Yeah.

1:09:54 Adam Your girlfriend's twin sister came on to you?

1:09:57 Caller Yeah, a few times.

1:09:58 Caller I don't know whether to mention it or leave it alone or what to do.

1:10:02 Adam I bet it was your girlfriend who was doing it to see what you do.

1:10:06 Drew Pretending to be the twin sister.

1:10:08 Caller I don't know. I don't know if I should say something.

1:10:12 Guest That was a good twist right over here.

1:10:14 Adam Our listeners, I have said this once, I'll say it a thousand times, are the dumbest listeners and callers in any radio program nationally. I'll put them against any show, AM, FM, daytime, nighttime, local or national, or on the internet. I challenge all other hosts from all other shows to put the stupidity of your callers against mine. I guarantee we would crush them.

1:10:40 Guest Average intelligence quota.

1:10:42 Adam All right.

1:10:44 Guest Per listener.

1:10:45 Adam That's right. Our IQs, what do you think IQ? Six five, six six? Yeah. Yeah, and that's moving up. Yeah. BT is here. Is that true? Our listeners, yes.

1:10:55 Guest Freaking me out.

1:10:56 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:10:59 Guest What is average IQ? Hello.

1:11:02 Drew This is Loveline.

1:11:03 Caller One eight hundred, love one nine one. Loveline will be right back.

1:11:30 Adam Loveline, Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Tune in tomorrow night and listen to me get my penis checked on the air. Oh my God. That's a good show. BTs are guests tonight. Movement and still life.

1:11:46 Drew Freaking me out a little bit.

1:11:47 Adam Hey, Drew.

1:11:48 Drew I'm trying to do a relationship with you. Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew.

1:11:50 Adam How many millions of times if I had the, don't step on me when I'm setting the show or doing the plug.

1:11:57 Drew All right, all right, all right.

1:11:58 Adam Jesus Christ. A little quick reenactment. BT is our guest tonight. Movement and still Adam. Hey, he does it during phone numbers and stuff.

1:12:09 Guest Really?

1:12:09 Adam Yeah. You can find BT at bt.com at Adam. Well, buddy.

1:12:17 Guest You guys are like a surrogate family to one another.

1:12:21 Drew He is a world class dick. Well, that's what's freaking me out a little bit is that tomorrow night, we're going to have a dual relationship.

1:12:28 Adam That's right.

1:12:28 Drew I'm going to play doctor and not.

1:12:31 Adam Wet nurse. Yeah. And a significant life partner.

1:12:34 Drew That's actually travel your ass.

1:12:35 Guest Yeah, that goes to the whole boundary thing.

1:12:37 Adam Yeah.

1:12:38 Drew Doesn't it?

1:12:40 Adam I'll tell you one thing, I'm going to chub up just a little bit before those mats go down.

1:12:44 Drew You bet he'd be humiliated otherwise.

1:12:45 Adam Yeah. I'm going to have to get something worked up.

1:12:48 Drew Don't worry, we won't notice.

1:12:49 Guest Thank you, God, for having me today and not tomorrow.

1:12:52 Adam All I want is a little something, a little blood in the penis. You know what I mean? The penis can really run the gamut. You get nervous or cold or scared or something.

1:13:01 Drew You're going to have the turtle in the tur-

1:13:02 Guest Cold water or the-

1:13:03 Adam Yeah.

1:13:04 Caller I mean-

1:13:06 Drew Tomorrow night, it is the snapping turtle.

1:13:11 Adam Yeah. I mean, you're going to-

1:13:13 Guest Oh, my God.

1:13:14 Adam Yeah. I mean, my penis, you may have to try to sort of have to go into it, like you're getting something out of a garbage disposal, see if you can get it out of there. I'm going to reach into his balls and see if I can't find his penis.

1:13:30 Adam Drew, step on his foot. I think it'll come out like one of those party favors.

1:13:33 Drew Can you put your thumb in your mouth and blow real hard?

1:13:37 Adam Oh my God, man. No, don't worry. No, I got a good natural hang, so I'm just hoping I get it just a little. I'm just going to need a few minutes to get a little blood circulating.

1:13:53 Drew I must have the welder shield. I won't be able to do this without a mask.

1:13:56 Guest I can't believe you're really going to do this. I can't either.

1:13:59 Adam And Drew, let me ask you something about this procedure. Does the penis need to be handled?

1:14:06 Drew How else can we do it? Well, wait a second. I got a question. Not only handle, big boy, but it has to be sort of sorted through every little fold.

1:14:15 Adam No, how dare you? How dare you? I'm the only one who handles my penis, and I mean me and only me.

1:14:23 Drew That's why I need those mittens.

1:14:26 Adam Drew, now listen, hold on, hold on now.

1:14:28 Guest Now cough kind of thing going on?

1:14:30 Adam I will, no, I will handle my own penis, Drew. You will not be handling, I will not have that. Marcel, he has that pomade on his hands from his greasy hair. Please, he smells of aquavelva. He'll burn my penis with what's on his hands.

1:14:45 Guest Oh my God, man.

1:14:47 Adam No, I will handle the penis. You don't need to knead through my penis like so much pop and fresh dough.

1:14:53 Guest Yeah, the penis.

1:14:54 Adam All right. Well, you want to know how you...

1:14:56 Guest If you want your 100 bucks.

1:14:58 Adam Let me tell you how you expect it. Inspect, sorry, the penis. You say to me, All right, now, Adam, let's see the underside. I lift the penis up.

1:15:06 Drew All right, we'll see.

1:15:08 Guest Oh my God.

1:15:10 Adam And listen, if I feel any thumb in my ass, I'm giving you a good right hook.

1:15:15 Drew Are you afraid you're going to get turned on, Adam?

1:15:18 Caller Yeah.

1:15:21 Caller Oh my God.

1:15:22 Adam Drew's been known to stimulate a rectum of a patient or two. That's all I'm saying. Brad?

1:15:27 Caller Yeah.

1:15:28 Adam You're 19.

1:15:29 Caller Yeah, my girlfriend's twin sister.

1:15:31 Adam I'm so dreading them on it.

1:15:32 Guest You are?

1:15:33 Adam Yeah.

1:15:33 Guest My God.

1:15:34 Adam And I may just start urinating if I get nervous.

1:15:36 Guest Oh my God.

1:15:38 Adam I really might.

1:15:39 Drew I'm the one that's going to traumatize.

1:15:40 Adam You better put a pan down.

1:15:41 Drew All right.

1:15:42 Guest Yeah, I feel sorry for Drew, man. Brad?

1:15:44 Caller Yeah, anyways, my girlfriend's twin sister keeps, like, trying to get with me and, like, touching me.

1:15:50 Drew All right, Adam's going to ask you a question. I want you to listen carefully.

1:15:53 Caller Okay.

1:15:54 Adam How do you know it's not actually your girlfriend testing you?

1:15:57 Drew Pretending to be her sister.

1:15:59 Caller I know, like, I could tell the difference. There's, like, minor differences between the both of them, but...

1:16:04 Adam I see. So you know it's not the... It's not your girlfriend. It's her evil twin.

1:16:10 Guest How old are you?

1:16:10 Caller 19.

1:16:11 Guest All right.

1:16:12 Adam So what do you want to know?

1:16:14 Caller I just want to know, like, if I should say anything.

1:16:16 Adam Oh, who cares? What is she doing?

1:16:19 Caller What do you mean, like...

1:16:20 Drew How does she come on to you?

1:16:21 Caller She just, like, says, like...

1:16:23 Adam Try to give the TARD speaking.

1:16:23 Drew What does she say exactly?

1:16:25 Caller She just, like, says, like, oh, you're cute and, like, touches my legs, like, the other day in the theater.

1:16:31 Adam I see. Listen, I don't care. You know why I don't care? Because this is a guy bragging.

1:16:36 Guest Yeah, dude, that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, yo, that would, you know, you're 19.

1:16:40 Caller That's like away from it.

1:16:42 Adam Has it ever been a prom for you or anybody you know, a girl coming on to you? Has there ever been a woman that you couldn't successfully sidestep? Do you know what I mean?

1:16:51 Drew Well, if you're calling Loveline, yeah, you can always sidestep, but if it's your friend's mom, you're calling Loveline.

1:16:56 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:16:57 Adam Even then, even then, just don't go in a jacuzzi with her. How much time do you actually spend, everyone think back. How much time do you actually spend or did you actually spend around your girlfriend's sister? Do you know what I'm saying? Is that a big problem in your life?

1:17:15 Guest And also too, in that kind of situation, I mean, you know, women hold the power.

1:17:19 Adam You're a guy, just don't do anything and it doesn't matter. He was bragging. Yes, he was bragging.

1:17:24 Guest He was totally bragging.

1:17:25 Adam Kevin?

1:17:26 Caller Yeah, what's going on?

1:17:26 Adam You're 17.

1:17:27 Guest What's up, man?

1:17:28 Caller Hey, what's going on? All right, first off, BT, what's going on, man? I love, like, your music. It's just like, oh my god, amazing.

1:17:35 Guest Right on. Cool, man. Thanks for calling.

1:17:37 Caller Okay, second off, I was up in the North Cascades, Washington, right? And I get around and stuff. I'm afraid I might have giardia.

1:17:45 Drew That's where you get it. That's where you get it.

1:17:47 Caller Yeah.

1:17:48 Adam What is that, giardia?

1:17:49 Drew Giardia is a parasite that's in water, particularly mountain water.

1:17:52 Caller Yeah.

1:17:53 Drew And you get bad diarrhea and weakness and nausea.

1:17:56 Caller Wow. And like, I don't have like any stomach problems or anything. And one of the things that happened up there is I started feeling pretty sick after a few days of it.

1:18:06 Drew And of what?

1:18:07 Caller Of being out there. I was up for like 22 days.

1:18:11 Adam Outward bound?

1:18:12 Caller Yeah.

1:18:12 Adam What do you want to do, trouble making inner city kids?

1:18:15 Caller Yeah, my mom wanted to send me off to the military.

1:18:17 Adam That's great. He caused trouble? We'll send you right out with Jeremiah Johnson. He'll live off of raccoon crap for 22 days.

1:18:22 Guest No military school.

1:18:23 Drew How was it?

1:18:24 Caller Yeah, it was pretty cool.

1:18:25 Guest Excellent.

1:18:26 Caller Anyhow, I was born without a rectum when I was little. And they said that that could have been part of it because of like the dehydrated food and stuff. And I'm wondering like it still hasn't gone away yet. And it's been about a week.

1:18:42 Drew You just had didn't. You just didn't have an opening, right? Yeah. Anus really didn't have.

1:18:47 Caller Well, I actually didn't have a rectum.

1:18:48 Drew They rebuilt that for you? Yeah.

1:18:50 Guest Wow.

1:18:51 Adam What's a good used rectum run these days? Rebuild. They put a guarantee on that like an alternator. All right. Hold on a second. I got to talk to Drew and BT about the rear end. Right. Okay. The anus is just the opening?

1:19:05 Drew The muscle and hole.

1:19:06 Adam The muscle and hole. That'd be the anus.

1:19:09 Drew Then the rectum is the terminal portion of your colon.

1:19:12 Adam Yeah. The what portion?

1:19:14 Drew Terminal.

1:19:14 Guest The last.

1:19:18 Adam Yeah.

1:19:18 Drew After the sigmoid. Between the sigmoid and the anus.

1:19:20 Adam BT, how do you know so much about the anus? I told you. Yeah.

1:19:23 Guest Mom's a doctor.

1:19:25 Caller All right.

1:19:27 Adam You got to talk about the anus all day?

1:19:29 Guest I just something and you know. You're gay. I don't.

1:19:33 Adam Here we go. All right. So. I wasn't thinking that. But the point is, so the rectum is the last what? 10 feet of the colon or?

1:19:46 Drew It's about a foot. No.

1:19:48 Adam Last. I'm kidding. OK. The last portion of that. And he was born not only without an opening, but without that whole portion.

1:19:56 Guest I've never even heard of that.

1:19:57 Adam And how do they rebuild that?

1:19:59 Drew Probably just bring down the sigmoid.

1:20:01 Adam So just pull more slack down and connect it down there. And they got to make a hole.

1:20:07 Guest And that's amazing.

1:20:11 Adam The real tragedy is they didn't find out until he was 16.

1:20:14 Guest Well, so wait, how does this relate to his thing with that? That's what I don't get.

1:20:18 Drew I don't get you have an anyway.

1:20:20 Caller It was made, it's scar tissue. But second off, like my instructors, they said that that could have been part of the problem. Because my, they put me on some medication. And they said that that could have been it. My rectum wasn't able to handle it or something.

1:20:36 Adam How's everything working out for you now though? I mean, aside from this giardia?

1:20:41 Caller Perfectly normal.

1:20:42 Adam Everything's good?

1:20:43 Guest How long does something, does giardia last?

1:20:45 Drew It would go on and on if you don't get it treated.

1:20:47 Guest Really?

1:20:47 Adam Can you get like a special parking and stuff if you don't have a rectum?

1:20:50 Caller I wish.

1:20:51 Adam You really should.

1:20:52 Drew What is the medicine they put you on?

1:20:57 Caller Like Mochin IB or something like that.

1:21:00 Drew Kevin, they're screwing you up here big time. They do not know what they're doing with it as far as this problem goes. You've got to see a doctor about this.

1:21:07 Caller All right, I'm leaving in like a week to go up in the Sierras and start hiking again.

1:21:11 Drew That's fine. You don't go up there carrying Giardia. Giardia has a high potential for relapse too.

1:21:16 Adam You must be some kind of criminal if they send in you back.

1:21:20 Caller Could I have it though because I don't have any stomach problems. It's just diarrhea.

1:21:26 Drew Yes.

1:21:27 Caller Okay.

1:21:28 Guest Yeah.

1:21:28 Adam All right. Go to a doctor, get it treated.

1:21:31 Caller Please.

1:21:32 Adam It's outward bound as they take all the troublemakers from the city and they send them out to the hills for a couple of weeks so they can learn how to kill with their hands.

1:21:41 Guest Outward bound is the bomb. Have you ever, you've never done that?

1:21:44 Caller No.

1:21:45 Guest Yeah, it's amazing. It's really, really good.

1:21:47 Adam You were a troublemaker too?

1:21:48 Guest No, I just went. A thing similar to that called, it was called Echo Hill. Oh, right.

1:21:54 Adam But that's a country club for rich musicians.

1:21:56 Guest No, totally. Dude, I'm a public school guy. I might get the wrong guy.

1:22:01 Adam But how long were you there? You weren't there for...

1:22:03 Guest Like a week. You go for a week.

1:22:04 Adam I know these guys. I had a...

1:22:06 Drew They were for like three months.

1:22:07 Adam I had a friend.

1:22:08 Guest I didn't realize, okay, this was like a week.

1:22:10 Adam A friend of mine got thrown into this thing.

1:22:12 Drew Two weeks of it, they leave them alone out in the woods, right? No way.

1:22:16 Guest Okay, I didn't realize that.

1:22:17 Adam My friend was raped by a bear.

1:22:20 Guest Shut up.

1:22:21 Adam I mean it. I swear to God, my friend Donnick had to do this, and they just like, you're out there for a month, just living off the land and everything. Didn't teach him a goddamn thing though. The funny thing is, he got back, got drunk with one of the instructors, passed out on an airplane, and they had to evacuate the plane for some medical whatever. You know how plane, FAA regulation stuff is really weird?

1:22:49 Guest Good independent film right there.

1:22:51 Adam Yeah.

1:22:52 Guest Script in the man cave.

1:22:52 Adam It's the greatest story I ever heard. All right, BT is our guest. I swear we're gonna hear something off the new CD right after this.

1:23:00 Guest Cool.

1:23:36 Adam Loveline, tune in tomorrow night. Listen to me get my penis checked on the air, and win $100 from my partner, Dr. Drew.

1:23:42 Drew Let's play a song.

1:23:43 Guest You hope to win $100.

1:23:44 Adam Oh, yes, yes.

1:23:46 Guest Because you could be that three out of 10.

1:23:48 Adam Believe me, if I got to give away that $100 bucks, that's going to be the least of my worries.

1:23:51 Guest Exactly, dude.

1:23:52 Adam I'll tell you that right now.

1:23:54 Drew Dignity is going with it.

1:23:55 Guest Yeah, exactly.

1:23:56 Adam That's right. All right. We will hear something from BT. This is off of Movement in the-

1:24:02 Guest Movement and Still Life.

1:24:03 Adam Yeah, Still Life. I'm sorry. I doodle on my notes is my problem. If I could get the goddamn CD in here, it'd be nice. I guess I'll go get it myself. That's what I should do. All right. This song is called Smart Bomb. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That is BT. He is in studio, and I don't know why this just popped in my head, but Drew, were we talking about that Dodger All-Star baseball game?

1:29:38 Drew The Hollywood All-Star game?

1:29:39 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's coming up.

1:29:40 Drew Yeah.

1:29:41 Adam Weren't you telling me that I was-

1:29:43 Drew That's what I was told, and we both didn't believe it.

1:29:45 Adam Right. Right. That was a grave-

1:29:48 Guest I missed this whole thing.

1:29:49 Adam Miscommunication.

1:29:50 Drew Is that right?

1:29:50 Adam I was told I couldn't play in it.

1:29:53 Drew You could go, but you couldn't play.

1:29:54 Adam Right. No, no. I was told I could not go and couldn't play.

1:29:57 Guest You were hoping to play in it?

1:30:00 Adam I played last year. Oh, cool.

1:30:02 Guest Right on.

1:30:03 Adam Well, except for I didn't play.

1:30:05 Guest Okay.

1:30:05 Adam It's a good enough story.

1:30:07 Guest I'm totally curious now.

1:30:08 Adam It bears repeating. I love baseball.

1:30:12 Guest Right on.

1:30:12 Adam I'll preface the story by saying that. I was a good player in high school, and I grew up in Los Angeles. So, of course, the opportunity to play at Dodger Stadium.

1:30:22 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:30:22 Adam That's like a bit of a dream come true for me. And I, you know, I'm not as good as I used to be, but I still got a lot of jock in me. And Drew, you saw me during batting practice.

1:30:33 Guest I so don't picture him like that. I did not picture you to be the sort of like jock type at all.

1:30:39 Drew He was all state football and all that stuff.

1:30:40 Adam Well, not all state.

1:30:41 Guest Really?

1:30:42 Adam It was all Valley.

1:30:43 Guest My whole sort of thing is thrown.

1:30:46 Adam Oh, yes.

1:30:47 Guest I was totally confused.

1:30:49 Adam I was a jock. The point is I love the baseball and I love the notion of playing at Dodger Stadium. So last year, about this time, they have the Celebrity Dodger game. They've been having this thing for like 50 years, right, Drew? They asked Drew and myself to play in it. Of course, we were honored. I was at batting cages all week trying to get my swing back. I was at the ballpark at 8 AM taking batting practice. Really?

1:31:12 Guest You were not joking around.

1:31:13 Adam I was not kidding around. Before the game started, they broke the team, two teams up. There's about 17, 18 guys on each squad, some new guys and some guys who played for a few years. Right. Our coach, what the hell was that?

1:31:29 Drew Just don't repeat it.

1:31:32 Adam Jack, Jack Velardi? No, that's someone else. It is?

1:31:36 Drew I have plenty of Velardi.

1:31:37 Adam Anyway, big pussy, works over at ICM, I think. It's always like, how does he really feel?

1:31:46 Drew My kids are dying to go to this game. So I plan to go, so don't f this up for me.

1:31:50 Guest Yeah, you're going to kill Drew's whole five.

1:31:53 Adam I don't know who your coach was, but the point is-

1:31:56 Drew Gary Marshall.

1:31:57 Adam Was your coach? The point is, my coach was a world-class prick. He was an uptight old guy who seemed to know some of the older players who played in years gone by, like Jonathan Silverman and Issei Morales, Steve Gutenberg or something, or Elaine Boozler. But he's certain- Steven Baldwin. He loved those Baldwins. But obviously, he had no idea who I was. Right. So I had, at least in his mind, the temerity to speak to him before the game, which was basically, I looked at our team, I did the math, I saw there were 17, 18 guys on the team. I knew we were only going to play like three innings. And I said, hey coach, basically, I know you're interested in winning. And there's basically, here's what I told him, there's some people here who don't care if they play or not. I'm good and I care. So I'm really looking forward to playing.

1:32:57 Guest And he didn't take well to this.

1:32:59 Adam He got peeved. He said, sit down and shut up was basically it. And I thought, well, all right, well, I'll just sit down. And I actually tried to sort of reconcile the situation a little. I said, I said, and this is a quote. I said, Coach, I'm not telling you what to do. You do what you got to do. And he said, that's right. No, he said, no, I'll do what I have to do.

1:33:20 Guest So this became a very unpleasant thing.

1:33:22 Adam World class brick, world class brick. So, so the game wore on and he put everyone else in the game, but me and he was joking, not joking.

1:33:32 Guest That sucks, man, and you were practicing it.

1:33:33 Adam He was going to punish me, essentially. That really sucks. And then it came time for Stephen Baldwin to bat again. Right. And I had not batted yet and they couldn't find Stephen Baldwin. And he was yelling, where's Baldwin? Where's Baldwin? And Baldwin wasn't around.

1:33:46 Guest Which, which one's Stephen?

1:33:47 Adam Whoever. I said, coach, Baldwin ain't around. I've not played yet. The game's almost over. How about I hit? And he said, sit down.

1:33:56 Guest Oh, that sucks.

1:33:57 Adam And I said, coach, he ain't around. He's already played in the game. I've not got an opportunity to play yet. I've been out here for four hours. How about I just step up to the plate? And he said, sit down. And I said, kiss my ass, you little Guinea prick. And this guy looked at me like no one's ever said that to him in his life. And he got pissed. And I said, bring it on. And by the way, the invitation is still out there. You little wuss. I know you're 15. I know you're five one. And that's part of the reason I want to crush you because it will, I will do it with my right hand tied behind my back, you little prick. I don't care whose agency you run. I'll kick your ass. I'll kick your ass all the way to Shea Stadium, you little prick.

1:34:37 Drew And for now, we'll go to a break.

1:34:38 Adam All right.

1:34:39 Guest He's like this off the air, too, just so everybody knows.

1:34:42 Adam You know I'm talking. You know where to find me. Bring it on. Bring it on.

1:34:46 Guest Oh, my God.

1:34:47 Adam All right. We'll be back. Back in a minute. Yeah. All right, Movement In Still Life, is the name of the CD, BT?

1:35:34 Guest You're just playing a very good friend of mine just then too, Moby.

1:35:36 Drew Oh yeah, he toured with Moby.

1:35:38 Adam Yeah, Moby's great.

1:35:39 Guest Moby and I actually, we had a contest going as to who could break more synths on the road, and I'm proud to say I beat him.

1:35:46 Adam Oh really? Yes. Well, you probably got 20 pounds on it. All right, that is it for the show. Tune in tomorrow night and listen to me get my penis checked on the air, BT, thank you.

1:35:55 Guest Cool, thanks for having me, guys. It was nice meeting you, guys.

1:35:57 Adam Delightful. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:36:01 Drew Come on, don't be such a pussy.

1:36:04 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2000