1:48
Voiceover
Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.
2:00
Adam
Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight we'd like to welcome back to the show Jaguares.
2:21
Yeah.
2:23
Adam
I think I nailed that Jaguares to you and me.
2:27
You have good pronunciation.
2:29
Adam
I get that one right. Alfonso, Andre and Saul. Saul Hernandez is our guest tonight. You guys, what is this, the third time in here? Second, I guess. Second? The first one must have just felt long.
2:43
Drew
The third time.
2:44
Adam
It is the third time. Yes, I knew you guys had been around here for a while. The Latin Rock, as we talked about the first time, and probably the second time, and now the third time, is really, well, it's going past making inroads, I think, into the American culture. It's here. You guys are selling tickets, selling out the pond, selling millions of albums up for three Latin Grammy nominations, but who's at the show? Is it exclusively Latino folks or is it a mixture? And is it becoming more white as the years wear on?
3:31
It's becoming more, huh?
3:32
Jaguares
More mixed each time. There's a lot of also Latinos, but they don't speak Spanish. They've been born here and they don't speak the language, but they like the band.
3:45
Adam
I went to school with a bunch of those guys. Yeah. Jorge Espinosa don't speak a lick of Spanish. But we can still make fun of him, you know.
3:54
Drew
Adam Corolla doesn't speak a lick of Italian.
3:56
Adam
Oh, Paisan. Yeah. All right. All right. I can pronounce most of food and cheeses though. And you guys are from, where was it?
4:07
Jaguares
Mexico City.
4:07
Adam
Mexico City. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah. And you make your homes still there, right?
4:14
Jaguares
Well, Saúl has moved wisely out of Mexico City because it's really a nasty place to live.
4:19
There's a lot of crime out there.
4:21
Adam
I heard it's the smoggiest place on earth, which as a LA resident made me feel good. Because I always figured we were living in the smoggiest place.
4:29
Drew
I have patients that live down there. Really the main thing that gets you is the crime.
4:33
Jaguares
Yes.
4:33
Drew
It's very scary.
4:34
Jaguares
Very, very scary.
4:34
It's the crime and we are like 22 million people in the city and the surroundings.
4:41
Jaguares
Surroundings.
4:42
And we are a lot of people. Too much traffic. But it's really nice in the sense of madness and a lot of things happen in the city. It's really active.
4:53
Jaguares
Surrealistic.
4:54
Surrealistic. It's nice.
4:57
Adam
You guys got a new president now, right?
5:00
Jaguares
Yes. A new party ruling. For 70 years, we had the same one. It was like a dictatorship.
5:07
Drew
Is it a good thing, everyone?
5:09
Jaguares
We don't like it very much, but the change is good. It's a good thing.
5:12
Adam
The guy's really, his ego must be brimming because every interview from every Latin guy here, here's how it goes. So you like the new guy. Well, no, we just didn't like the old guy. That seems to be the popular opinion. They hated the old guy. They're not so sure about the new guy, but the new guy, the best thing he has gone for him is he's not the old guy.
5:36
Jaguares
Yes, absolutely.
5:38
He's a new guy from the old guy.
5:41
Adam
Oh really, he's from the old party. He was from the old party?
5:44
This is a new party. But the people vote for against the old party. So this is the one who became more confrontation with the old party and the people start to believe what happened. And we hope something really is gonna change.
6:04
Adam
Well, what do you care? You're living. Where are you living now?
6:06
Now I escaped from the city.
6:08
Jaguares
He still lives in Mexico.
6:09
Adam
Oh, you're still in Mexico, just not in Mexico City.
6:12
Jaguares
He moved to the beach.
6:13
Adam
Well, now how does it... I thought the whole place was a beach. How does it work? How do the elections work? I mean, here we do the president once every four years. They do...
6:23
Jaguares
No, it's six years.
6:24
Adam
Six years?
6:25
Jaguares
Yes.
6:26
Adam
Yeah, let's see. If you factor Naps in, I think you're on about the same timetable. You know what I'm saying? This is a little more laid back. All right. We will hear something from Jaguares off the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, which is... How did you make it on to that? How did that come about?
6:45
We really don't know. Something, some accident happened, and some people from Paramount Pictures called to the office and asked me if I can write a song for the soundtrack. And that's it. I came and I work with Stuart Copeland.
7:03
Adam
Yeah, Stuart Copeland was on the show, I think, about a year and a half ago. Smart guy, nice guy.
7:08
Yeah, he's a great musician, and we worked together with a couple of friends from Puerto Rico. They played percussions.
7:17
Adam
Had you worked with Stuart before? Did you know his work from the police?
7:21
Yeah, of course.
7:21
Adam
Did you want to work with him?
7:23
Actually, we made...
7:25
Jaguares
There was this tribute album to the police made by Latin artists, and Saul was in that one also.
7:32
Drew
They were talking about that last time.
7:33
Adam
Oh, right. Yeah, which song did you do for the tribute album?
7:38
I choose one, Does Everyone Stare? It's from Regatta de Blanc?
7:47
Adam
Yeah. Well, the thing about the police is all their names are some kind of Spanish. What does that mean? What are the two... They had the regatta de something and the blanco de... Yeah. What's that mean?
8:01
Jaguares
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Spanish, at least nothing.
8:04
They said that means queremos tacos. That was Stewart said in Mexico in the conference.
8:10
What means is queremos tacos.
8:12
Okay. So this is the only signification.
8:17
Adam
All right. We will... You guys know how the show goes. People call in. They bear their souls and we make fun of them. Kiki? Kiki. Oh, boy.
8:29
Drew
Caller goes by Kiki.
8:30
Hello?
8:31
Adam
Yes. You're 34 years old. What's up?
8:33
Caller
Well, I can't have an orgasm when my husband and I are having intercourse. And I'm 34 years old. Is it too late to even try? Am I over the heel? What should I do?
8:46
Adam
When can you have an orgasm?
8:48
Caller
When I'm having oral sex. Okay.
8:52
Adam
And you've never been able to have an orgasm through intercourse, right?
8:57
Caller
Never.
8:57
Drew
With anybody?
8:58
Caller
With anybody.
9:00
Adam
Okay.
9:00
Drew
Well, you can always work on it with your husband. You can talk about it. No, I mean, just bring it up and work on it and not say in your usual ride.
9:10
Adam
It's not going to work. How about?
9:12
Caller
I've been faking it for so long.
9:13
Adam
Oh, have you been faking it?
9:15
Caller
Yeah, I have. Good girl. That's great.
9:18
Adam
Yeah. Listen, a lot of people get offended when they hear that. I think it's the greatest gift a woman can give to a man to fake the orgasm.
9:27
Caller
Right.
9:28
Adam
You guys comprender with the fake orgasm?
9:30
Jaguares
Yes, we comprender.
9:33
Adam
That's right.
9:34
Very good.
9:35
Adam
Wow, I almost had one. Hey, Kiki.
9:38
Caller
Yes.
9:39
Adam
Here's how you could possibly have yourself an orgasm while you're having intercourse with your husband.
9:44
Caller
Okay.
9:46
Adam
You got a pen and pencil there? Okay. Write this down. Dildo? Okay. I'm done. Now, get a vibrator, right?
9:55
Caller
Okay.
9:56
Adam
Then you get the vibrator going and you get the clitoral stimulation going while your husband is having intercourse with you.
10:04
Caller
Right.
10:04
Adam
Then you have your orgasm while he's in you.
10:08
Caller
Okay.
10:09
Drew
Never work.
10:09
Adam
It'll work.
10:10
Drew
Sometimes it does.
10:11
Adam
It can work. It's your only option.
10:14
Caller
Yeah, it's your only option.
10:15
Adam
Right.
10:16
Caller
So he won't catch on to doing something different.
10:19
Drew
Listen, guys.
10:19
Caller
I've been faking it for so long.
10:21
Drew
No, not about the faking.
10:22
Adam
No. Just tell them you want to introduce it.
10:25
Drew
Guys believe exactly what you want them to believe.
10:27
Adam
Okay.
10:27
Caller
Oh, okay. Okay.
10:28
Adam
All right, Kiki. So you get that vibrator. Not one of those big novelty ones either. Just a small one. You can direct the pressure on the clitoris. All right? Okay. I'll do that. Okay. Bye. In Spanish, clitoris?
10:42
Jaguares
Clitoris. The accent.
10:44
Adam
I see. Yeah. That's how my grandmother pronounces it. I swear to God, my grandmother pulled me aside and said something was bothering her. She listens to the show. She said, it's not clitoris, it is clitoris. I said, how do you know? I have many friends who are doctors. They all say clitoris. I said, well, Drew's a doctor. She believes now that we're friends, you're no longer a doctor. You're just one of my F-up buddies. So we looked it up and it says you can go either way.
11:13
Drew
Wichram, I knew there was something we need to talk about tonight. Remember last night we left off with the...
11:19
Adam
Me cramping in a popcorn bucket?
11:21
Drew
We didn't tell the story. You and I left off with that.
11:24
Adam
Well, write that down, Drew, and we'll get into it in the next hour. Make yourself a mental note there. Also, I saw the roof of my house on TV today when a medium speed pursuit went right by my house.
11:38
Drew
Went up that hill?
11:39
Adam
Yeah. Did you see any of that?
11:41
Drew
I heard about it. I didn't realize it went up in the hills.
11:42
Adam
Do you guys see that car pursuit? No. I don't think they would handle it the same way in Mexico.
11:47
Drew
It's a red pickup truck, right?
11:48
Adam
Yeah.
11:49
Jaguares
Here, Here you are a star if you're in one of those. Yeah.
11:52
Adam
You're a big celebrity for, this guy was on the road for about an hour and 45 minutes.
11:57
Drew
Three hours.
11:57
Adam
No, not three hours. That's what you heard, but you heard wrong. He was about an hour and 45 minutes, and because of all the lawsuits against the LAPD, these guys are scared to do anything. So not only will they not stop you, they'll just follow you, and they won't even follow you closely because they don't want you to feel pressured. It's a really bizarre thing for a police, you know, it's an interesting ploy for the police or strategy for the cops to adapt, which is this guy's making a run for it. Let's give him room, fellas. And they sit way back, they're 150 feet behind the guy, and they followed him. And he came up my street, he came around the back, he came right around my house, I was just watching it on the news, I saw the guy drive right past my house, right down the hill, and he drove through Travel Town and through the zoo and through Burbank, he came back around to Hollywood again, he went through Silver Lake, then he got on the freeway and he drove all the way out to Woodland Hills, he got off.
13:02
He stopped in the 7-Eleven, he took some groceries, and he continued.
13:06
Adam
That's right, he held up a guy at an ATM, they gave him room. They just give you room, and the thing I can't figure out about it is especially, you know where I live, Drew, up in the hills there, all you'd have to do is when this guy went one direction up the hill, there's only one outlet and that's the other direction, they could just sent a car up the other direction, just parked it.
13:27
Jaguares
Yeah.
13:27
Adam
There's just no possible way to escape if you did that, they're not interested in stopping them anymore. There's no spikes, there's no ramming, there's no nothing and like I said, they don't even follow closely, they're way behind the guy. And it goes on for hours. Now in Mexico, that wouldn't happen, would it?
13:46
Jaguares
No. They would shoot them or something.
13:48
Adam
They'd shoot them, they'd throw a tequila bottle at the guy, they'd do something, right? I mean, how long, here's what I'd like to know.
13:56
Caller
There is much easy.
13:58
Adam
How long is the?
13:58
Caller
We have more, more, we're more civilized because the police stop and you take your wallet, you say, hey man, give me a break and you give money and that's it.
14:09
Adam
Nobody ever flees.
14:11
Caller
Nobody dies, nobody shoots.
14:13
Adam
I wouldn't do it either. I bet you we would cut these pursuits by tenfold if you knew you could just hand the guy 50 bucks and be on your way. I mean, that's how it is in Mexico, right?
14:26
Caller
Just grease the guy's palm and a little not all the time, but most of the time sometimes happened.
14:31
Adam
Yeah, I saw a cop on a police motorcycle in Tijuana. He rode a wheelie down the street. I thought you don't see a lot of that in LA. Yeah. All right. Elizabeth.
14:42
Yes.
14:43
Adam
You're 19.
14:44
Caller
Yes, I am.
14:45
Adam
What's up?
14:46
Caller
Okay. My boyfriend's dad's going out of town and I'm on the pill and I'm supposed to have my period this week and I wanted to know if I can just start another packet of pills and not have it and if it'll be okay.
14:59
Adam
Your boyfriend's dad is going out of town so you get to have sex?
15:02
Caller
Exactly.
15:03
Adam
I see. And he's living at home, I guess?
15:06
Well, yeah.
15:09
Caller
We're all going to school.
15:11
Adam
How old is he?
15:11
Caller
We'll live at home and mooch off our parents and go to school.
15:14
Adam
I see. All right. And now it's time for sex. And what was the pill question again?
15:19
Drew
Can she, in other words, start a packet up without waiting that one week in between and not have her period until?
15:25
Adam
Oh, I see. Yeah.
15:27
Drew
You can do that. I've done that for people when they're like weddings approaching and that sort of thing.
15:32
Adam
I hope they tip you for that.
15:33
Drew
Yeah.
15:34
Adam
That's interesting.
15:35
Drew
Yeah. It can screw things up that you can get heavier bleeding and your cycles can be all screwed up and you can be uncomfortable.
15:40
Adam
But you can jog the period.
15:43
Drew
Yeah.
15:43
Adam
I mean, if you had, I don't know, some long distance romance and the guy was coming in from New York for a weekend, nice.
15:51
Drew
It's not a healthy thing particularly. Are you on a monophasic pill? What pill are you on?
15:55
Caller
The, oh gosh, orthotricyclin.
15:59
Drew
Yeah. See, it's a little trickier with those tricyclic pills.
16:02
Adam
Who's got a bigger problem with it, you or your boyfriend?
16:05
Caller
It's his thing.
16:06
Adam
He's not into that?
16:08
Caller
No.
16:08
Adam
Yeah.
16:09
Drew
Tell him to not be such a pussy.
16:11
Adam
Thank you, Drew. Yeah. You tell him to lighten up.
16:15
Caller
It's a little bit so, like if I started another-
16:18
Drew
It's part of the wonder that is the female form.
16:20
Adam
Yeah.
16:20
Caller
Is it okay or would I not get pregnant kind of thing?
16:25
Drew
Yeah. You'll be protected that way.
16:27
Caller
Okay. So then it just wouldn't start and then it would-
16:29
Drew
Well, you'll get a screwed up period. You'll have some spotting and stuff. It's not a great thing to do. If I were you, I wouldn't recommend it.
16:37
Caller
Okay.
16:38
Adam
All right. It's time for him to prove he loves you.
16:42
Drew
Yeah.
16:43
Adam
You do what I do. You put a little compressed air up there, you dry it out, you clean it out a little bit, it's fine. No, compressed air. I don't blow up there. I need about 90 PSI. All right, Elizabeth. Okay, thank you. Hey, listen. But here is a safety tip. Take dad's good down comforter and go ahead and just roll that off the bed. The last thing you want to do is leave that trail of evidence. Do you know what I'm saying?
17:10
Caller
Don't worry. We're smart.
17:11
Adam
Yeah. All right. Good luck to you there.
17:15
Drew
The section went on in the bedroom.
17:17
Adam
Brittany, you're 14.
17:19
Caller
Yeah.
17:20
Adam
You're on with Jaguares.
17:22
Caller
Okay.
17:22
Adam
That's good.
17:26
Caller
Okay. Yeah. Me and my boyfriend, we were having sex and I don't know if it was the physician. We were on doggie or whatever and I don't know. So I started cleaving and all and all of my juices just went all over his stomach and I don't know.
17:46
Drew
You were squirting.
17:47
Caller
Right.
17:48
Adam
Yeah. You guys, they were in the doggie, what the hell? What the hell is a dog?
17:54
Drew
Doggy style.
17:54
Adam
The perro.
17:56
Jaguares
Perro.
17:57
Adam
Perro.
17:57
Jaguares
Perrito se dice en Spanish.
17:59
Drew
Perrito.
17:59
Jaguares
Perrito.
18:00
Adam
Perrito position.
18:01
Jaguares
Perrito position.
18:02
Adam
Perito position?
18:03
Drew
Little doggy.
18:05
Adam
Oh, the pequiro perito position?
18:07
Caller
The perrito.
18:08
Adam
Right. Okay. So that's the doggy position. And how do you translate queef? Oh, I know. You guys, right? You have a word for that? Not farting.
18:19
Jaguares
It's what we say is farting.
18:22
Adam
Oh, you call farting?
18:24
Jaguares
It's a vagina farting.
18:26
Adam
Oh, okay. Good. I like that. All right. So that's what happens when you're in the...
18:33
Drew
Anderson has a weak stomach, doesn't he? As soon as you go down that road...
18:35
Adam
Yeah, he doesn't like any farting.
18:37
Drew
He doesn't like human anything.
18:39
Adam
He wants to marry a fembot. Brittany?
18:43
Drew
Yeah.
18:43
Adam
All right. So that's pretty natural, except for the part about the fluid flying out.
18:47
Drew
No, the fluid thing is some women do that, and it's a normal thing. Most men sort of appreciate that. What do you say, Adam?
18:55
Adam
They do maybe the first time out, but after a few years, it probably gets old. All right.
19:00
Drew
Men are always wanting to see the results of their work.
19:03
Adam
All right. That happened when you had an orgasm?
19:06
Caller
Huh?
19:07
Adam
When you had an orgasm, the fluid came out of you?
19:11
Caller
I don't think I've ever had an orgasm.
19:13
Adam
Oh, okay. So just a fluid. See that, Drew?
19:16
Jaguares
I thought it was like coming.
19:20
Adam
Yeah, but not in Brittany's case. Hey, Brittany, how old is this guy?
19:24
Caller
16.
19:25
Adam
All right. Slow down, baby. You're 14.
19:27
Caller
I know.
19:28
Adam
All right. What are you using for protection?
19:31
Caller
Nothing.
19:32
Drew
Oh, my God.
19:33
Adam
You'll be pregnant this time tomorrow.
19:35
Drew
When will you last with him?
19:37
Caller
Um, Saturday.
19:39
Drew
You still have time to get the morning after pill, right?
19:43
Adam
Oh, she's not going to do that.
19:45
Drew
1-888-not-number-too-late. 1-888-not-too-late. Call the number. They'll refer you to some place locally.
19:50
Adam
Hey, Brittany. Yeah. I know you're stupid and young and horny and you make a lot of noise when you have sex and everything, but we're now warning you, OK? You're an adult. You're doing it in the perro position. And it's time for you to get some protection, all right? All right.
20:08
Caller
Well, my friend, we're going. We're supposed to be going up there to the GYN sometime.
20:14
Adam
You're going to the gyno?
20:16
Caller
Right.
20:16
Adam
All right. Get going.
20:17
Drew
Get that morning after pill. Keep it in your medicine cabinet.
20:20
Adam
He's got to use protection until then. You're going to get pregnant, you idiot.
20:23
Drew
Or else just get on the pill.
20:24
Caller
Se pongo un bosal.
20:25
Adam
All right? Yeah. All right.
20:27
Drew
Perito protection.
20:30
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what's going on in Mexico City, right? Not enough birth control. Too many people. Then you get crime, then you get smog, then you got to move. You got to move to the country.
20:43
Caller
Too many perito positions.
20:45
Adam
That's right. All right. We should hear something from Jaguares. What do you say? All right. This is off the Mission Impossible soundtrack, right, Ant? Is that the first one we're playing? Yeah. This one is called Gliding. We'll be gliding from Jaugares off of the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack. Jaugares is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Michelle, whose 18-boyfriend made out with a stripper at a bachelor party. She wants to know if she should be mad. We'll explain why she shouldn't after this.
25:11
You know what I'm saying, I'm there.
25:13
Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.
25:48
Adam
It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LVE-191. Alfonso and Saul are both here from Jaguares, and Drew apparently is out of cough, and he's about to throw hissy fit. You all right, Drew?
26:03
Drew
I was trying to catch Daniel's attention there.
26:05
Adam
All right. All right, you need some sort of, you need one of those buzzers that the teller presses with a foot when the holdup man comes in.
26:14
Drew
Oh, yes.
26:15
Adam
The red light goes off over Daniel's phone.
26:17
Drew
Actually, while I was sort of going through those machinations, I was thinking about the fact that there were demonstrations today, the Adam Carolla demonstrations.
26:26
Adam
There were a handful of unemployed actors who showed up at the KROQ studios this morning to demonstrate against me and some comments that I made against my own union, SAG and AFTRA, when I did the-
26:40
Drew
I actually support them. I actually support this issue.
26:43
Adam
Craig Kilbourne Show. Oh, who cares? That's my point.
26:46
Drew
Hey, well, you haven't even thought it through. You just don't like people whining. That's all.
26:48
Adam
I'm just- listen. Actors- here's the problem with actors. And anyone who knows any can identify with this. You have a very, very bad combination between incredibly inflated ego and a very wounded child, all in the same person. So you have total grandiosity meets a sort of hurt, crushed, insecure little being. And that combo is a horrible combination. I don't mind grandiose, inflated people-
27:26
Drew
Oh, wait a minute. Grands of people always have-
27:27
Adam
If they mean it. If they mean it.
27:29
Drew
They always have that in them.
27:29
Adam
There's a handful of guys out there who really can back it up, like myself, thank you, who I'm fine with. I enjoy those kind of people. Those are what you call colorful.
27:39
Drew
I call that sociopath.
27:41
Adam
But the actors, here's the combo. Grandiose meets wounded child meets tons of free time equals picketing and letter writing. They're on strike. I told them to get back to work, essentially, and quit their whining. And now they're all upset, writing me letters and picketing and so on and so forth.
28:00
Drew
Well, I'm going to cram if I'm wrong.
28:01
Adam
What?
28:01
Drew
For you. We have not discussed this, by the way.
28:03
Adam
Yes.
28:04
Drew
We're just excited for the first time right now. It was a joke.
28:06
Adam
What?
28:07
Drew
What you were saying.
28:08
Adam
Not really, no.
28:08
Drew
It was a joke.
28:09
Adam
What are you talking about?
28:11
Drew
You really don't care. You don't care either way.
28:13
Adam
I don't really care.
28:14
Drew
But it was a joke. No, not really. If it weren't a joke, you wouldn't have mentioned it.
28:20
Adam
Well, I said it because I was trying to get a laugh, but I do feel that way for the most part.
28:25
Drew
Yeah, but really you don't care.
28:26
Adam
No, I don't care.
28:27
Drew
Okay.
28:27
Adam
Listen, if somebody can get paid for a job that they do years after they've done it, more power to them. But I wouldn't cry about it. As I'd mentioned on Kilbourne, if I'm with a hooker, I don't have to give her 50 cents every time I whack off to her in years to come. I just pay her the 150 for the one time. And when I was a carpenter, when I built a deck on someone's house, I didn't get 10 bucks every time they threw a barbecue. They paid me for my day's work. I got my money and I went home. I didn't keep ringing them like a bar rag. Fine, get back to work. That's all I'm saying. Drew, I appreciate you trying to get me out of trouble by giving me the opportunity to say I was just kidding. And I am in the sense that I'm trying to get a laugh. And it's true, I don't care either way.
29:13
Drew
I know you don't care.
29:14
Adam
I know I don't care, but that's the funny thing about it.
29:16
Drew
And I actually would support them.
29:17
Adam
They want me to apologize for not caring.
29:19
Drew
You haven't thought it through. You don't even know if you care or not, but at this point you don't care.
29:23
Adam
I just don't care. All right, they should all get back to work. That's all I'm saying. Michelle?
29:27
Yeah.
29:28
Adam
You're 18?
29:29
Caller
That's right.
29:30
Adam
What's up?
29:31
Caller
Okay. Well, I-
29:32
Adam
Hold on a second. You realize we're in a union, Drew, where the president of our union played the teacher from Boy Meets World. Do you understand what kind of insanity that is?
29:44
Drew
It's impressive.
29:45
Adam
All right. That's all I want you to know. How can you take that union seriously?
29:49
Drew
Ronald Reagan was the president of that union.
29:50
Adam
Michelle?
29:51
Drew
Oh, wait, Adam.
29:52
Adam
Uh-oh. Looks like some of Culver City's finest have slid into the building. Hope I didn't do anything wrong. Michelle?
29:59
Drew
Wait, maybe you can tell us something about the chase.
30:01
Adam
Oh, just leave me alone. Michelle, what's up?
30:04
Caller
Okay. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over two years now. He's a really good guy. He loves me a lot. I know that. He's a really good person.
30:15
Drew
All right. Stop convincing us. Just tell us what went on.
30:17
Adam
What did he do?
30:17
Caller
Okay.
30:17
Adam
Oh, he made out with the stripper?
30:19
Drew
No, no, no.
30:19
Caller
That's incorrect. He went to his friend's bachelor party, and the stripper was jumping around, putting whipped cream on her boobs, and sticking her chest into people's faces.
30:28
Adam
That whore.
30:29
Caller
And people were licking the whipped cream off of it.
30:31
Adam
Yeah.
30:32
Caller
Well, my guy did the same thing, and, you know, it really hurt me when he told me, and...
30:37
Drew
He told you?
30:38
Caller
Well, yeah, I asked him what happened, and he told me, well, she came, she did her little lap dance, and sh-t on my face also. And I said, well, did you also lick him, like everyone else did? And he's like, well, yeah. You know, it was just fun. It's not a big deal. I didn't...
30:52
Adam
Right. All right. So what do you care? Not a big deal. I know that... And he's the world's greatest guy.
30:57
Caller
Just the thought of it, it hurts. And it was really... I usually don't get upset with a lot of things. I don't let things bother me.
31:03
Adam
Oh, yes, you do. You let everything bother you. Where's daddy?
31:07
Caller
Daddy?
31:08
Adam
Yeah.
31:08
Caller
He's downstairs.
31:09
Adam
Yeah. You like him?
31:11
Caller
Uh, no.
31:12
Adam
Why not?
31:13
Caller
He's not the best father or husband.
31:15
Adam
Did he cheat on mommy?
31:17
Caller
No.
31:18
Adam
What'd he do? Why isn't he a good husband?
31:20
Caller
Uh, well, he forced my mom to have sex with him a lot, and so I kind of witnessed this as I was growing up.
31:32
Adam
Uh, well, now we're getting somewhere. So he raped your mom and you witnessed it?
31:36
Caller
Well, you know, I wasn't watching, but I heard and I knew what was going on.
31:40
Adam
All right. Well, that's kind of a pretty traumatic thing for a young girl, right?
31:44
Caller
Well, yeah, but... All right.
31:45
Drew
So those sorts of objectifying, demeaning, powerless, or disempowering situations can be really important to you.
31:54
Adam
All right. That's where it's coming from.
31:56
Drew
And for any woman, although Adam has no sense of this, this is a...
32:01
Adam
Well, I don't care. Same with the actors here.
32:02
Drew
You don't care, but it's a violation of trust, and it's sort of... It's gross.
32:06
Adam
No, your wife's listening.
32:07
Drew
No, no, no. I think... Listen, women are... Remember, they are a higher form of the species.
32:14
Adam
Yeah. They're so smart. Why do we run them around?
32:17
Drew
No, but because men, when they behave as they will, it's a real disappointment. It was a deflation. They're like, Oh, that's gross.
32:23
Adam
Okay. Let me say two things. Michelle has an energy in this department.
32:28
Drew
Oh, yes.
32:28
Adam
I felt it immediately. I tapped right into her daddy, and it turns out her daddy did horrible things to her mommy.
32:34
Drew
I'll give you that.
32:35
Adam
Any time a male interacts with somebody in her life, it's going to remind her of something. Yes, your boyfriend, who's the world's greatest guy, fine, leave it at that. He just did what everyone else does at a bachelor party. Big deal. This is what young guys do. You go in and get some therapy for what happened. I don't want to defend the guy, but this is something that guys do all the time. It's no big deal. Let it go. Get some therapy.
33:00
Drew
Have you been watching The Big Brother at all?
33:01
Adam
And number two. Hold on a second. It's interesting. I had a conversation about licking whipped cream off of boobs just before I left my house today on the way into the station.
33:13
Drew
Imagine that.
33:13
Adam
I talked to a friend of mine who's in Montreal, and he's up there for the comedy festival. He was an old roommate of mine. The first thing I said was, are you having a good time? How are the strip clubs? He said the strip clubs are great. Anything goes in Montreal. It's cheap. It's 10 Canadian, which is like six American dollars. But anything goes is great, except for you don't want to be licking some boob that some fat Canadian guy who'd had 16 molsons under his belt was suckling on five minutes earlier. I said, you're right. He said, yeah, you know me. When I go to the bathroom, I use a towel to open the door. I'm not going to be sucking on some hooker's boob.
33:51
Drew
Who is this?
33:52
Adam
This is Cordy. Oh my God. I said, that's right. I said, they should carry moist towelettes, wipe themselves down in between guys. Then I said, if I were a stripper, that'd be my name, moist towelette. I'd pass myself off as a Frenchman. I would say, my name is a moist towelette. To give everyone the feeling of cleanliness. You know how a name can sort of invoke certain feelings? Again, I'll pronounce it. Hello, ladies. My name is moist tollette. And I would pull one of those things right out of my fly. I'd have the dispenser in underneath my shorts, and they could keep pulling them out. Be like a clown. Like when all the clowns get in the car. Yeah. Moist tollette. That's a good name for a French stripper.
34:44
Drew
I want you to do me a favor. And this is not just for promotion purposes. The stripper on Big Brother is challenging our routine assessment of stripper and what puts them in that position.
34:55
Adam
I never heard of Big Brother.
34:58
Drew
It's a TV show. I was pretty much every night on CBS.
35:00
Adam
Cable?
35:00
Drew
Yes.
35:01
Adam
CBS? Oh, that's old people's channel. I don't watch it.
35:04
Drew
I have to analyze some of the stuff that's going on in that house.
35:06
Adam
You're on that show now?
35:07
Drew
Yeah, I'm on that show.
35:08
Adam
Boy, they're scraping the barrel.
35:09
Drew
Yes, they are indeed. Thank you for the interview.
35:11
Adam
What happened to Dr. Arlene or Dina Dell or one of the real TV doctors?
35:14
Drew
Not cool enough, I guess. But she is really interesting. I would just be interested in your thoughts if you tune in. It's like one night.
35:22
Adam
When's it on?
35:24
Drew
It's on pretty much every night at 8.
35:25
Adam
All right. Well, I usually don't watch a lot of TV.
35:28
Drew
Because this one is, because I think there's more going on.
35:30
Adam
Drew, you know I only watch six and a half hours of TV a day. So I don't always have time to squeeze new shows into my slots. Liz?
35:37
Hi.
35:38
Adam
You're 20?
35:39
Caller
Yes.
35:40
Adam
What's up?
35:40
Oh my God.
35:41
Caller
Saul?
35:44
Caller
Can you talk to Saul?
35:44
Adam
Yeah, here he is.
35:45
Caller
Hi. How are you? Oh my God. I'm such a big fan. I'm one of your biggest fans and I wish I could have been there in your concert on Saturday, but I couldn't get tickets.
35:54
Adam
At the pond?
35:56
Caller
I'm not sure exactly where it is.
35:57
Drew
Well, I wish you could get tickets.
35:59
I couldn't get tickets.
36:01
Caller
Right.
36:01
Adam
Well, you're calling from LA though, right?
36:03
Caller
Right.
36:03
Adam
All right.
36:04
Caller
Right.
36:04
Adam
You got a question for Saul?
36:05
Caller
Yes. I wanted to know if you guys are going to make an English CT. I was turning on Loveline right now and I heard them and I'm like, what the hell is going on?
36:16
Adam
Oh, yes.
36:18
Caller
So I was just wondering if you're going to release an English.
36:22
Caller
Well, not now. First, I have to go to some Harmon Hall. Some classes. Yeah.
36:35
Drew
For lits for English.
36:36
Caller
The fact is that I don't think in English. I can't write in English. Yeah.
36:41
Adam
But hold on a second. I think in Spanish, thankfully. So here's the deal. Can't you just write the songs in Spanish and then translate them into English and then learn? I mean, you speak these in English? Yeah. Moisturlet. You can sing just phonetically. I mean, the Beatles had like Love Me Do in German or something. All bands do that all the time.
37:07
Jaguares
Horrible.
37:07
Adam
Okay. It sounds like crap. That's true. But you could do it.
37:11
Jaguares
Yeah. Why do it?
37:13
Adam
Oh, I see.
37:13
Jaguares
All right.
37:13
Adam
Well, maybe I have a point. Hey, Liz, I'm going to do a all French radio show coming up in a few months.
37:20
Caller
I will listen to it, Adam. You are so sexy. I go to sleep with it every night.
37:28
Drew
Every second night?
37:29
Adam
Every second night. You know what my French name is? It is Patrice Moist-Talette. Patrice first name, Moist middle name, and of course, Talette being my parents name. All right, Liz. Okay.
37:47
Caller
Best of luck to you guys.
37:49
Caller
Gracias. Hasta luego.
37:52
Adam
Dr. Drew, you speak French, do you not? Speak a little French. Send us to a commercial break in French.
38:03
Drew
I don't know how they do that.
38:04
Adam
No. Come on, you idiot. Say something in French.
38:07
Drew
Il faudra que nous partissons.
38:08
Adam
Say it again.
38:09
Drew
Il faudra que nous partissons.
38:12
Adam
What's that say?
38:12
Drew
We have to leave.
38:15
Adam
Say we'll be back with more Jaguares and Loveline after this.
38:20
Drew
Nous retourrons avec plus de Jaguares après cela.
38:25
Caller
Merci.
39:04
Adam
And that bra that is Dr. Drew over there.
39:06
Drew
What do you think about that strategy, though, of telling the Culver City PD, you do 65 down Culver?
39:11
Adam
Quite down. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Alfonso and Saul are here. They're from Jaguares. We'll hear something else from them before the night is through.
39:24
Drew
But first, we gotta finish this popcorn bucket scenario. People have waited till last night to hear this.
39:28
Adam
Okay, all right, here's the story. And I hope we're not boring the guys. This kind of humor crosses all international boundaries. It's what we call poop humor. There was a time in my life when I was sort of banished to the garage.
39:49
Drew
By an evil stepmother.
39:50
Adam
Yeah, my dad had a part of it, too.
39:52
Drew
Yeah, but we have not bashed your stepmother at all, ever.
39:55
Adam
Okay, we should bash her, too.
39:56
Drew
Your mother's got nailed, your mom's got nailed, you've never seen them.
39:58
Adam
As I've said to my family a thousand times, you guys rolled the dice and came up snake eyes when it came to me getting a radio show. My poor son of a bitch parents never thought I'd get myself a radio show, and now it's payback time. The whole nation can know what crappy parents they were. It's time for revenge. Yes. Those sons of bitches thought I'd be crawling under a house for the rest of my life and not telling anybody about what horrible parents they were. Well, now it's payback time. So I was forced, not forced, I lived out in the garage, which was sort of half converted into a room. No bathroom, no air conditioning, no heater, no nothing like that. But it was kind of a room. I lived out there when I was about 18, 19 years old. My stepmom was wanting me out of the house, which was ironic because I was already out of the goddamn house. I was in the garage. I was driving a beat up motorcycle and work in construction. I didn't go into the house. As a matter of fact, I couldn't get into the house. I get locked out of the house after a certain time in the evening, 9 or 10 o'clock. No. No, but my stepmom didn't like me too much. I wasn't crazy about her and I wouldn't go in the house and she'd lock me out of the house.
41:12
Drew
If you saw her in the window, you'd avoid, you'd wait till she walked into the other part of the house.
41:15
Adam
Of course. My dad is such a spineless wuss that he never, my dad is 100 percent pussy. 100 percent puss. He really is.
41:24
Drew
Point one.
41:25
Adam
Oh, he's just, he's one, if it went up to 101, that's what he would be. And he's so spineless, he never stood up to her, so she just bashed me around. So I was out in the garage and what I did was, and I've told Drew this story before, I had a bar of soap that I would keep by the hose in the back and I would shower, you know, it was during the summer. I was working construction. I'd come home, I'd be filthy dirty from digging all day and I would shower with the hose. And so Drew was saying, well, where did you pee? And I'd say out in the bushes. But last night, and I don't know why you wanted to go down this road, Drew, but last night you asked about number two. Where did you go number two?
42:07
Drew
Yeah, what did you do for that? Because you said there was no bathroom and you couldn't get in the house. I thought, what the hell is going on here?
42:12
Adam
All right, well, let me first qualify this statement before I explain where I went number two. A, it wasn't as if I ran home to cramp in a popcorn bucket. You understand?
42:23
Drew
I understand.
42:24
Adam
If I was at someone's house, I would use their toilet. You understand? If I was at the job site, I'd use the porta potty or what have you. And technically, I could use the bathroom indoor with the plumbing before, let's say, nine, ten o'clock at night.
42:38
Drew
Which you never did. You never went in the house.
42:39
Adam
Well, I was scared to go in there.
42:41
Drew
Yeah.
42:41
Adam
But at a certain point, if I was home and I had to go, my cousin, Vince and Pat Bruno, for Christmas earlier that year, they got me one of those big five-gallon tubs of popcorn, you know, the metal tins. They have a snap lid on them. You guys have seen those. They're decorative. They're all sectioned off. They got the caramel, the cheese, and the butter one. Well, after I was done with that, I was looking at it and I thought, hey, it's got a nice air-tight snap lid on it. It's sturdy construction and it's easy on the eyes. I mean, it has nice pictures of Santa Claus and Rudolph on the sides. Very festive. Very festive. So I told Drew much too. I think his and Anne's horror.
43:28
Drew
Well, Anne I think slept last night.
43:30
Adam
She was tossing and turning and thinking about the popcorn bucket I crapped in when I was 18. I told him I used to crap in the popcorn bucket. Yeah.
43:38
Drew
Yeah. Not just I did it.
43:40
Adam
Yeah.
43:41
Drew
But I did it and I emptied every three visits.
43:45
Adam
I think I may have said two, but yeah, could have been three. Hey, it had a snap lid. Hey, Drew, what the hell the pioneers do? Yeah.
43:54
Drew
They went somewhere a fair distance from where they slept, I suspect.
43:58
No. No.
43:59
Adam
This was me against the elements, Drew.
44:01
Drew
It's amazing when a porta potty is like major, major luxury.
44:06
Adam
A porta potty to me was like Liberace's bathroom. It really was.
44:12
Drew
Oh, Ann, are you all right?
44:13
Adam
Yeah, snap a lid.
44:14
Drew
Ann, you okay recovering from the- okay.
44:16
Adam
All right.
44:16
Drew
She's okay.
44:16
Adam
All right. Are you done?
44:17
Drew
How would you dump it? We dump it in the pool or in what pool?
44:20
Caller
In the pool?
44:21
Adam
Yeah, that's what I did. I don't know. I'd go out and hose it out or something.
44:26
Drew
You'd hose it out in the backyard.
44:28
Adam
It was my bathroom. What d'you want me to do? You'd just cramp on the floor. My buddy Ray did cramp on the floor once just as a joke, and my dad did walk in and find it, by the way. That was a good one. But by then, we were so far gone, it didn't matter anymore.
44:44
Drew
I swear to God, the chimpanzees have better hygiene.
44:47
Adam
Drew, what would you have done? What would you have done? I ask you. I'll ask Jaguares. What would you have done? You'd have to do it. What are your choices? You have no choices.
44:59
Jaguares
I don't know. Dig a hole, my god of choices.
45:02
Adam
Dig a hole? I couldn't dig a hole. My stepmom would have thrown me in it and buried me. It's seen as a golden grave opportunity.
45:12
Caller
You can buy big pumpers.
45:14
Drew
I don't blame you.
45:15
Caller
Big pumpers.
45:17
Drew
I blame her.
45:18
Adam
You blame my stepmom? Yeah. Well, she was bad. Yeah, no doubt about it. Michael?
45:24
Yeah.
45:25
Adam
You're 30?
45:26
Caller
Yes.
45:27
Adam
What's up?
45:28
Caller
How's it going?
45:29
Adam
Good.
45:30
Caller
I had a question regarding heroin. I started the use of it about nine years ago and I was smoking it. And what the effects of aluminum foil have on your body, because I've heard of Alzheimer's and different things that...
45:50
Drew
Are you off to heroin now?
45:51
Caller
Yes, I am. You're in recovery.
45:55
Adam
How many people smoke heroin these days?
45:58
Drew
It's probably a little less common right now, but it was going through a big, big resurgence for the last couple of years.
46:03
Adam
Really?
46:04
Caller
It's actually not that common at all. Most people either snorted or injected.
46:08
Adam
Thank you very much.
46:09
Drew
I was dealing with a lot of people who smoked it for a while.
46:11
Adam
You saw two guys in eight years who did it.
46:13
Drew
No, no, no. For a while, particularly college people, college age, I'm just smoking.
46:18
Adam
What's the best way to smoke it?
46:21
Caller
Well, you put it on aluminum foil and you let it drip down, and the smoke comes up and you suck it in.
46:27
Adam
What do you mean you let it drip down?
46:28
Caller
Well, it melts down the foil. It's called chasing the dragon.
46:32
Adam
Oh, it melts the foil. I mean, it has a kind of a drip.
46:34
Caller
Well, the foil doesn't melt, but the heroin on the foil melts down. It makes like a trail.
46:40
Adam
After you put a flame under it, right?
46:42
Caller
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
46:44
Adam
You put it on the foil and it drips down. Isn't that a great explanation? You got to get the fire worked in there. Yeah?
46:50
Caller
In California, it's black tar on the west coast. It's black tar heroin on the east coast. You got China White.
46:57
Drew
There's no evidence that I know of that anything significant happens with that kind of aluminum exposure, if any aluminum exposure is significant.
47:03
Adam
All right, Michael? If it makes you feel any better, I've smoked a pot out of a Coke can many a time.
47:09
Drew
The Alzheimer connection is very weak, very weak. There are plenty of people walking on extraordinarily high aluminum levels, even to the point of having their bones chelated with aluminum that weakens their bones, all kinds of things can go on. Those people do not get dementia.
47:22
Adam
Yeah. This was something that was talked about some years ago, and then it was sort of disproved a little bit. Is it back?
47:31
Drew
It's back and forth. It's the fact that there's aluminum depositions in these scars that basically form in the process of Alzheimer's. It doesn't have anything to do with causation.
47:40
Adam
Dr. Drew, you were more exciting to the listeners when you were speaking in French. You understand? All right. Jaguares is our guest tonight. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak. Drew, start doing your job here.
47:54
Drew
I would wait.
47:55
Adam
No, please.
47:56
Drew
Talk to you about the band.
47:57
Adam
No, come on. You got to give me a good but question. That's a horrible question. All right. We'll be back with a good one after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're here with Jaguares. Jaguares has sold themselves over a million of the albums that are currently out. Their latest album, which is something we'll hear something from sometime in this hour, 5 million over their career, doing all right. We have Alfonso and Saul here from the band. I think this is their third time here. That's what I'm going with. Drew, you with me on that one?
49:22
Drew
Third time.
49:23
Adam
All right. Saul thinks two, but I say three. Or we say Trace.
49:29
Caller
La Tercera Vez.
49:30
Adam
That's right. Priscilla. Priscilla.
49:34
Drew
Sleep.
49:35
Adam
Really? Oh, she's been on hold for 84 minutes. Almost an hour and a half. Priscilla.
49:41
Yeah.
49:42
Adam
Hey, there you go, baby. You're 17. What's up?
49:44
Caller
Hi. Well, I lost my virginity like four months ago. And like a month and a half or two months after that, I like started getting these fainting spells. Like I was like out in the middle of the parking lot and I just like fainted right there. And I've done it four times. What's up with that?
50:00
Drew
Have you been evaluated for it?
50:02
Caller
Well, they took me to the hospital the first time. They did a bunch of tests and they didn't find nothing.
50:07
Drew
I suspect that the fact that you lost your virginity two months prior is sort of a spurious association. There is nothing causative about that.
50:19
Adam
What do you think the chances of young Priscilla knowing what spurious or causative means?
50:26
Caller
None.
50:28
Adam
Spurious is like, it's, I'm trying to think of how to describe what that word means. It means neither here nor there. It's like as if you'd said, I was late for work. If you told your boss you were late to work because your toaster broke.
50:45
Drew
Not significant.
50:46
Adam
Right. Probably not a factor. Probably. So I know you're putting those two things together, but they're probably not connected.
50:55
Caller
Okay.
50:55
Adam
So.
50:56
Drew
Are you on medication or anything?
50:58
Caller
No. Not lately.
50:59
Drew
Are you on any medication?
51:01
Caller
No. I know.
51:02
Adam
And what did they say when you got the test?
51:05
Caller
They didn't say anything really. They like, actually I only saw the doctor once and he said it was going to run some tests and some x-rays and I didn't see him again after that and they just released me from my hospital.
51:16
Drew
Were you on medication at the time you passed out?
51:19
Caller
No.
51:19
Adam
Okay. Well why don't you follow it back up again?
51:22
Drew
Had you been recently stopped on some medication at that point?
51:26
Caller
No. I was like, no. It was like three months prior to that when I stopped.
51:33
Adam
What medication?
51:35
Caller
Just like naproxen.
51:37
Adam
Just like naproxen?
51:39
Caller
Yeah.
51:39
Adam
Okay. Thanks for having us have to ring you to get that piece of information out of you and devote half the show to it, Priscilla. We appreciate it.
51:48
Caller
Oh, okay.
51:49
Adam
I hate Priscilla. I don't know why. Do you guys hate her too? I don't like her at all. Why do I dislike her so much?
51:56
Drew
There's a hostility running underneath.
51:57
Adam
There is? Is that what that is? I hate asking the same idiot the same question 10 times, which is what we do on this show. All right. Drew, what should she do?
52:07
Drew
Follow through with her usual doctors. See if you had appropriate work up, she can finish. There's literally dozens and maybe even hundreds of different causes of this, most of which are not significant.
52:15
Adam
Not losing the virginity. Now, you lose your virginity, your dad faints, right? But not you.
52:20
Drew
Is that how it works? Sometimes your mom, sometimes your grandma.
52:23
Adam
That's right. That's right. And often another side effect of a virginity is a deceased grandparent could roll over in his or her grave.
52:30
Drew
You've heard of that.
52:31
Adam
Yes, I have actually seen that. I remember-
52:33
Drew
Sometimes the forefathers.
52:34
Adam
When my sister lost her virginity, my grandmother from Philadelphia who died five, six years prior to my sister losing virginity- Spun over in her grave. I remember hearing the creaking. She was a large woman and we had her buried in the basement of the house. Brian?
52:51
Hi.
52:51
Adam
You're 16. What's up?
52:53
Caller
First of all, I just want to say that I saw you on the Perry Kilburn show. Hilarious.
52:58
Adam
Thank you, Brian. Thanks for causing more trouble.
53:01
Drew
The Screen Actors Guild thinks it was hilarious too. They're still laughing.
53:04
Adam
All right. Go ahead there, Brian.
53:07
Caller
Well, my problem is that every once in a while, I just have these bouts of depression. The only last usually a day or two, and I was just wondering what was causing them.
53:17
Drew
Puberty.
53:17
Adam
Yeah. You're 16. What happens? You have a little trouble motivating during those days?
53:22
Caller
Yeah. My dad just said, what's going on? You seem like down in the dumps. It's just like it only lasts a day or two, and then I feel better.
53:32
Drew
Certain amount of that is normal. You keep an eye on it, take care of yourself. Don't ignore these feelings and certainly don't keep them to yourself if they start getting really severe. But consider what things might be contributing to you following these depressive episodes.
53:47
Adam
Go on a walk.
53:48
Drew
Yeah. Get act shy and stay focused on doing things that are good for you and you want to do. But know that at 16, the biology is, tends to set people in this spiraling depression.
53:58
Adam
I think more people get depressed in this country.
54:01
Drew
Then where?
54:02
Adam
Mexico. The rest of the world.
54:07
Drew
Too much free time?
54:08
Adam
Yeah. You know what I think happens to Americans is, we have it pretty good. We're used to things being pretty good. When we don't feel good, it's a big deal. Yeah. If something goes wrong, it's a big deal. If you take a look at other countries and most of the rest of the world, survival, day-to-day struggle.
54:30
Drew
Big deal.
54:31
Adam
You don't really have time for depression. Or maybe your whole life is depressed and you don't notice it.
54:36
Drew
I think the other thing.
54:37
Adam
Do they get depressed in Mexico?
54:38
Caller
No. Also, it's like, everything is settled.
54:42
Caller
Everything has to be fine.
54:44
Caller
Everything has to be good.
54:46
Jaguares
Everything has to be all right.
54:47
Drew
I think also in this country, our family systems are so screwed.
54:51
Caller
So systematic situation here.
54:54
Drew
The whole system?
54:54
Caller
Yeah, the whole system. They have to be online. If it's a little broke, you are in trouble. It's a disaster. We've grown up with no line. I mean, it's a different idiosyncrasy.
55:09
Adam
You're saying in Mexico, they do or don't have all this health care and all this stuff?
55:15
Jaguares
No, he's talking about the way people here are more like, how a direction, everything has to be a certain way.
55:23
Adam
Right.
55:24
Jaguares
In Mexico, it's more chaotic. I think that's what he was trying to say.
55:29
Caller
You mean? Sort of.
55:31
Adam
We mean like, here it's like, get an education, get your degree, graduate from college, become a lawyer. I mean, there's a lot of pressure. A lot of kids are forced in a direction. Whereas other parts of the world, it's maybe a little, well, except for like Japan and maybe China.
55:51
Caller
Big problem.
55:52
Adam
Yeah. But I bet they're pretty depressed over there. You know what I mean? Listen, I just came back from Jamaica. No one's depressed over there. They're just high and their motto is just-
56:05
Drew
Hang loose.
56:06
Adam
Yeah. No, it's not hang loose. Those are the Hawaiians, or by the way, also high and happy. Yeah. The more pot that seems to be in the culture, in the closer the beach, the less the depression. Now, here's Jamaica's. No problem, man. I mean, we're just a bunch of white guys from Hollywood. It's like, when's the flight? Where's it? No problem. It's just everything. It's just no problem. Just have a drag off a joint. No problem. Take your shoes off.
56:34
Drew
But I think here, our connections, the family systems are so weak and so poor that we don't have the usual internal resources and family resources to make ourselves feel better.
56:44
Caller
Isolation.
56:45
Drew
Isolation, disconnect, lack of development emotionally. I've traveled a little bit in Mexico and I remember seeing, although I'll see lots of poverty, lots of happiness. The family is together, doing things. I mean, they don't have anything but happy.
57:01
Jaguares
That's true. I mean, the unity of the family there is so important.
57:04
Drew
Very tight.
57:04
Adam
And here it's like, Well, you got 40 people in one room. You better be tight. I can't go to my parents' house and be happy.
57:13
Drew
I saw circumstance after circumstance in that country where people would have been, oh my God, lamenting that anybody could live like that. They're fine.
57:21
Adam
They're just fine. Put it this way. The overwhelming majority of Americans between the age of 15 and 40, look at their parents as a pain in the ass. And Drew, I know I not only speak from personal experience, but I know you have certain feelings about your parents. You don't want to go camping with them, do you?
57:43
Drew
No, no camping.
57:44
Adam
I mean, you go over there twice a year, Easter and Thanksgiving, you've had an ass full, right? Could you imagine moving back home or something like that?
57:53
Drew
Right.
57:53
Adam
All right, so here's the point. In what other country does the average adult look at their sort of aging parents as a pain in the ass? I think only the United States, and that's why this is the greatest country in the world. Don't ever forget it. We not only neglect the elderly, we abuse them. Oh, boy, what is that?
58:16
Caller
Rojelio.
58:16
Adam
Rojelio.
58:18
Caller
Yeah, what's up?
58:18
Adam
Hey, you're 26. What's up?
58:21
Caller
I have a question for her. What is actually for Seúl and Alfonso?
58:24
Adam
Great.
58:25
Caller
Is that all right?
58:26
Adam
Yeah, go ahead.
58:27
Caller
All right. Cómo están, compas?
58:28
Adam
Bien, muy bien. Y tú?
58:29
Caller
Muy bien. Gracias, gracias.
58:31
Adam
Okay, they said, how are you? And he said, fine. Okay, Drew?
58:33
Caller
I got it.
58:34
Caller
Okay.
58:36
Caller
My question. One of my favorite songs, Las Ratas No Tienen Alas, what is the meaning? What's the significado behind that? What is that about?
58:47
Caller
Es una crítica al gobierno, al sistema político.
58:50
Jaguares
Criticism to the system, the political system in Mexico.
58:54
Caller
De traición.
58:55
Caller
Yeah.
58:56
Jaguares
Talks about betrayal.
58:59
Caller
Y bueno, like rats, como ratas, pues no, no pueden volar.
59:04
Drew
Is that why you guys don't trust the new system that's in? You just figure it's more of the same?
59:07
Caller
Well, that song was wrote in the old system.
59:12
Caller
But I don't know what is going to happen in the new system.
59:16
Caller
Maybe we have to write like the new rats also doesn't have wings. I don't know.
59:22
Adam
You have any other questions for Jaguares?
59:26
Caller
Not so much questions. Just wanted to say muchas gracias for your inspiration. Because of you guys, I play the drums now, and I also write poetry, thanks to Alfonso and Saúl and Lomás.
59:38
Long live Jaguares and Rock.
59:40
Caller
Muchas gracias Rogelio.
59:41
Adam
Thank you Rogelio.
59:42
Caller
Thank you.
59:43
Adam
Take care of yourself there. All right. Is that a common name? I never heard that name.
59:48
Jaguares
Rogelio. In Mexico it is common.
59:51
Adam
Really? Name one famous Rogelio in the big leagues.
59:56
Drew
Rogelio Gonzalez.
59:57
Caller
In baseball.
1:00:00
Adam
Nice try. Alfonso. Now, there's a name. Stacey?
1:00:05
Caller
Yeah.
1:00:06
Adam
You're 15?
1:00:07
Caller
Yeah.
1:00:07
Adam
What's up?
1:00:09
Caller
I was wondering how I should tell my parents that I'm choosing to become sexually active.
1:00:15
Drew
The way you asked that made us suspicious already.
1:00:18
Adam
Yeah. Why do you want to have that talk with them?
1:00:22
Caller
Because I want to be honest with them.
1:00:25
Caller
Why?
1:00:27
Drew
Why is that important if that's something you're choosing to do? Not that I object to. I think it's a great idea, but just sort of the energy behind it doesn't sound right to me.
1:00:39
Caller
Because my parents have always told me that if I decide to do anything, I can tell them and that they can get me birth control and condoms and protection.
1:00:50
Caller
All right.
1:00:51
Drew
That doesn't sound too bad. Have they otherwise been sort of energetic in their attempts to educate you about the harms and the ill of sexual activity?
1:01:04
Caller
I don't know. I just want to know how I should bring the topic up.
1:01:08
Drew
Ask the question again.
1:01:09
Adam
All right. Hold on. Stacey, we're just trying to figure out what the motivation is. You love your parents?
1:01:15
Caller
Yeah.
1:01:16
Adam
That didn't sound like a ringing endorsement. Do you love your parents?
1:01:21
Caller
For the most part.
1:01:22
Adam
All right. So you're mad at them for some reason?
1:01:25
Drew
Where have they been a pain in the ass?
1:01:30
Caller
I don't really know.
1:01:31
Caller
It's just-
1:01:33
Caller
What?
1:01:34
Caller
My stepmom is kind of-
1:01:39
Adam
Makes you crap in a popcorn tin? Is that what happened? Honey, I feel your pain.
1:01:44
Caller
My stepmom is just kind of-
1:01:46
Adam
Who knows what the long-term medical repercussions of me sitting on that sharp metal rim were for so many months.
1:01:52
Drew
You sit around letting your farts now is probably the only way to amuse yourself.
1:01:55
Adam
That's right. It's my way of coping. Stacey, who are you mad at? Your dad or your stepmom? Who are you angry at? Is that dad?
1:02:11
Caller
Okay.
1:02:12
Adam
Stacey, you want me to tell him? We'll tell him right now.
1:02:15
Caller
Okay.
1:02:17
Drew
Yeah.
1:02:18
Caller
Oops.
1:02:19
Adam
Stacey? Yeah. You just missed the golden opportunity. Drew could have really had a sit down with dad.
1:02:24
Caller
No.
1:02:25
Adam
Oh, I thought you wanted to tell him. Listen, if Drew says it's okay, it's okay. He'll go out and get your male prostitute if Drew says okay. So Stacey, who are you mad at? Your stepmom or your dad?
1:02:39
Drew
Or your real mom?
1:02:40
Adam
Or your real mom?
1:02:43
Caller
My real mom.
1:02:44
Drew
Why are you mad at her?
1:02:45
Adam
What did she do? Abandon you and leave you with the evil stepmom?
1:02:50
Caller
It's a long story.
1:02:51
Adam
Okay. Well, see you. Let's just move on. Cecilia? Yes? Listen, I don't want to sit there and play 20 questions with some prepudescent teen. Screw you. I don't want to sit there and drag her. Well, I mean, screw you. Go ahead. Half sacks. Tell your dad. Here's what we do. Write it in shaving cream on the mirror. I'm getting late.
1:03:15
Drew
All right. The point is, though... We'll see you in the morning. Your choice in doing this is driven by your desire to get back at your mom.
1:03:21
Adam
Of course. I mean, okay, listen, let's just talk about this for a second. Here's what I've learned on my five years here at Loveline. People think the truth is very noble, and you can never go wrong if you tell the truth. And we put a lot of emphasis on this as a society. And whenever you talk about founding fathers or noblemen or gentlemen, it's always talking about integrity and truth. But when people tell people the truth, I found on this show, they have less than philanthropic reasons for doing it.
1:03:57
Drew
Let's put it this way. When adolescents tell their parents and partners, male, female, or male, male partners tell each other something, there's motivation. It's not the truth. It's motivating.
1:04:06
Adam
Right. So she wanted to tell her parents she was going to become sexually active, which sounds great. And we questioned her and she said, well, they always said, come to us first, and we'll get you on birth control and we'll get you condoms. But it still sounded a little suspicious. And as we scratch beneath the surface, it turns out she's angry and it's ready to sort of screw you time for mom. And listen, especially women. Women are very vengeful, spiteful creatures, they really are. Men would be, but they're fixated with their penis and they have sports, and they're basically busy running the country. Women have plenty of time to sort of plot and scheme. They're like mad scientists, all women. All women have a little mad scientist in them, you know? And that's where the problem comes in relationships. Men don't know what's going on. They're too busy going to work and rooting for the Dodgers. And women are down, they're hard at work in the lab. They really are. So here's what I'm saying. All you people that have young daughters especially, don't screw with them. They will screw with you one day. You're a dad, you don't pay attention to your young daughter. You drink a little too much. You physically abuse her. Don't worry. It'll be payback time soon. She'll become a prostitute. She'll do a couple of porn movies. You're going to have a good time going back to work at the plant with all the guys on the assembly line who have a couple of porn tapes starring your daughter. There will be payback time.
1:05:38
Caller
They can make a business together.
1:05:40
Adam
They certainly can. And she's 15 and it's time to pay them back. So if I was, what the hell was her name? Miss Bitterman? She should just sit on that. Don't get pregnant. Get your birth control. But when you tell your parents, tell them because you want to tell them.
1:05:56
Drew
Because you want to share it.
1:05:57
Adam
Because you want to share it, not because it's payback time. Cecilia? You're 20. What's up?
1:06:03
Caller
Okay.
1:06:04
I have a question for Los Jaguares.
1:06:06
Adam
All right.
1:06:07
Caller
Okay.
1:06:07
I just want to know, qué significa el symbol que tienes en el primero CD?
1:06:12
Caller
Perdón?
1:06:13
El symbol.
1:06:14
Drew
The symbol in your first CD.
1:06:15
Caller
Ah, the symbol. Es un cazador. It's a hunter.
1:06:20
Adam
What?
1:06:21
Jaguares
A hunter.
1:06:23
Adam
Oh, I see.
1:06:24
Jaguares
The symbol.
1:06:25
Caller
De la época.
1:06:26
Adam
Right. The one I don't have in front of me. That's right.
1:06:28
Caller
Pero hispanica.
1:06:29
Adam
Right. I think we got into that one time.
1:06:32
Jaguares
Yeah. This thing.
1:06:34
Adam
The logo, the Jaguares. If Jaguares was a baseball team, this is what would be on their hat.
1:06:40
Jaguares
Yes.
1:06:40
Adam
Right.
1:06:41
I have another question.
1:06:42
Adam
I'll tell you what it means in Spanish. Pot plant. That's what this thing looks like.
1:06:47
Caller
It's a hunter. Come on.
1:06:48
Adam
It's a hunter. Right. The guy's hunting for pot plants. You see the character?
1:06:53
Caller
For a joint.
1:06:54
Adam
What else?
1:06:55
Drew
It looks like a Dr. Seuss character.
1:06:56
When are they going to be touring in Tijuana?
1:06:59
Caller
Ah, well, next year. Probably.
1:07:02
Caller
Because now we're on vacation.
1:07:06
Adam
Oh, yes. Are you going to play Tijuana? Yeah.
1:07:11
Caller
Next year.
1:07:12
Adam
Where do you play in Tijuana? Can I play that highlight?
1:07:15
Caller
No, we play in the theater.
1:07:18
Jaguares
No, there's a bullfight ring that we play there.
1:07:21
Caller
And a big...
1:07:24
Adam
You guys know Tijuana well?
1:07:26
Caller
No, it's great.
1:07:27
Adam
Yeah, it's great.
1:07:28
Caller
Tijuana's great.
1:07:29
Adam
Avenue and Tijuana Tilly's, and what's my... The Unicorn Bar. That's a good nudie bar. Underneath Revolution Avenue, guys perform oral sex on women on stage.
1:07:44
Drew
Guys, like for the audience?
1:07:45
Adam
Yes, these are our professionals. These are drunken Marines.
1:07:49
Drew
Oh my God.
1:07:50
Adam
Well, at least that's how it went when I was younger.
1:07:53
Jaguares
It's a heavy place.
1:07:54
Adam
It's a good time, though. Yeah, you know, the thing about...
1:07:57
Drew
Enjoy.
1:07:57
Adam
No, you hang out in Tijuana for a little while, and then you go to Ensenada. It's boring. Tijuana or Rosarito or something.
1:08:03
Caller
Some of the parents I was talking about can go to Tijuana to give themselves a role so they can see what can happen.
1:08:09
Adam
Yeah.
1:08:11
Jaguares
Those parents can go and check out what could happen. Yeah.
1:08:14
Adam
Yes, that's right. All you bad fathers, go to Tijuana. See where your daughter's first place of employment will be. Lorena?
1:08:24
Yes.
1:08:24
Adam
You're 22?
1:08:25
Drew
Good times.
1:08:26
Yes, I am.
1:08:27
Adam
What's up?
1:08:29
I have a question for Saúl, or actually I want to tell Saúl something.
1:08:32
Caller
Uh-huh.
1:08:34
Saúl, hi, my name is Lorena. I just wanted to let you know that I am from here. I was born here. I really got into your music a couple years ago. I do not speak the language at all. I love everything about Hahuatis. I've been to every single one of your concerts. In the past two years, every single one of them, all the way to Vegas, going to Chicago, I just want to let you know that you don't know what you do to the local scene that's out here, the local rock scene. I'm involved with a lot of local rock bands.
1:09:02
Adam
Where are you?
1:09:03
I live in Covina.
1:09:05
Adam
Where?
1:09:05
Caller
I live in Covina.
1:09:06
Adam
Oh, Covina.
1:09:07
Caller
Yeah, in Covina. It's like 20 minutes from LA.
1:09:10
Caller
But everywhere I go is in LA.
1:09:12
Adam
Covina is a Spanish word meaning crap hole. Oh, God.
1:09:16
Caller
Don't leave my field alone.
1:09:17
Adam
It's very true. It's true. So we'll dump that Covina.
1:09:20
Drew
Only to be exceeded by West Covina.
1:09:22
Caller
Your major fans are right outside the building.
1:09:26
Caller
Thank you.
1:09:26
Adam
Wow.
1:09:27
Caller
And we love you.
1:09:29
Caller
Thank you.
1:09:30
Adam
Where are you? Hold on. What do you got going on?
1:09:32
Caller
You have a party there?
1:09:33
Caller
I have pizza here. You guys want some?
1:09:34
Caller
I ordered some.
1:09:35
Drew
What kind of place you in?
1:09:36
Caller
What was that?
1:09:37
Drew
Where are you? What kind of place are you in?
1:09:39
Caller
What kind of place?
1:09:40
Adam
The parking lot. Hold on.
1:09:41
Drew
Wait a minute. Is it a restaurant?
1:09:44
Adam
I like the band, but their fans aren't real smart.
1:09:46
Drew
Wait, let's try again. Is there you in a phone booth?
1:09:48
Adam
Where are you?
1:09:49
Caller
No, I'm on my cell phone.
1:09:50
Caller
I'm wasting like...
1:09:52
Caller
Wait.
1:09:53
Drew
Where are you?
1:09:54
Caller
We're right out front. Look out your door.
1:09:59
Adam
They're here. They're not in Covina.
1:10:00
Drew
Okay.
1:10:01
Adam
All right.
1:10:02
Caller
Please. I'm in Culver City right now.
1:10:04
Adam
All right. Listen.
1:10:05
Drew
Okay.
1:10:06
Adam
Let's get the Culver City PD back here.
1:10:08
Drew
Please.
1:10:09
Adam
Fire a couple of concussion grenades into the crowd. They'll scatter. Drew, you cover me. I'll make a break for my car, right?
1:10:15
Drew
I'm ready. And go.
1:10:18
Adam
No, I saw them all. They're all out here on the parking lot by the van. All right.
1:10:23
Drew
Listen, those are all people picketing your Let's go say hi to them. All right.
1:10:27
Adam
I'm going to do that. Hold on a second.
1:10:29
Drew
Lorena.
1:10:29
Adam
Hey, Lorena.
1:10:31
Caller
Yeah, I'm here.
1:10:31
Adam
Do you have any food?
1:10:32
Caller
Yes. We have pizza.
1:10:33
Adam
Oh, do you? What kind?
1:10:35
Caller
We have pepperoni and pineapple.
1:10:37
Adam
Pineapple. Hey, settle down. Settle down.
1:10:40
Caller
We have pepperoni and ham and ham sausage and ham.
1:10:44
Adam
Do you have thin crust?
1:10:46
Caller
What?
1:10:46
Adam
Is it thin crust?
1:10:48
Caller
Yes, it's thin crust.
1:10:48
Adam
Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Okay, he's going to be here with you. The band isn't coming. I'm coming.
1:10:56
Caller
He's going for the pizza.
1:10:57
Adam
Are you talking to those guys? Huh? Who do you want to say hi to?
1:11:01
Caller
I want to say hi to the Cure and the Adels.
1:11:03
Caller
I want to say hi to Neva Lim.
1:11:05
Caller
I want to say hi to you.
1:11:06
Adam
All right, all right. It's not American bandstand. All right, now don't anyone do anything weird to that pizza. I'm coming out there right now.
1:11:12
Caller
Okay, come get pizza.
1:11:13
Adam
All right, we'll see you in a second. All right, I'm going to be back with some tainted pizza. And Jaguares after this.
1:11:19
Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.
1:11:57
Adam
Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Alfonso and Saul are both here from Jaguares. They have rambunctious fans that they've camped out in the parking lot, and I just went out there and ate myself a nice slice of pizza, and so did Engineer Anderson. We're keeping it real here. I've said it many a time, somebody sent some homemade popcorn balls over here. I ate three of them the other night.
1:12:24
Drew
They were awful.
1:12:25
Adam
I still ate three of them. My point is is-
1:12:28
Jaguares
Do you like popcorn, huh?
1:12:30
Adam
My point is is if someone sent me anything, even if it looks like they made it in their driveway, I would eat it. I'm a man of the people, right, Drew?
1:12:40
Drew
Did you?
1:12:40
Adam
That is.
1:12:40
Drew
When you're hungry.
1:12:41
Adam
You understand? There's other B slash C celebrities that would never do that. They would have someone taste it for them. They would think it was poison. Not me. I trust the people. Anyway, you guys gotta go out there and say hi to those people at some point.
1:12:57
Caller
We already did.
1:12:58
Adam
They already did?
1:12:59
Caller
Yeah, we'd take pictures.
1:13:00
Adam
Yeah, they want to see you again.
1:13:01
Caller
A lot of things we do before we eat.
1:13:04
Drew
They own Adam now. They've given him pizzas.
1:13:05
Adam
They're all wearing the Jaguars shirts. One girl has the tattoo of the Jaguars, the pot plant symbol on the back of her neck. Yeah, that's love. Drew has a cheap trick tattoo on his back, but that was many years ago.
1:13:21
Drew
Yeah, this is Dr. Sue's character.
1:13:23
Adam
I see. Yeah, that's very, very clever, Drew. Fernando?
1:13:27
Hey, what's up? How's it going?
1:13:28
Adam
You're 18?
1:13:29
Caller
Yeah.
1:13:30
Adam
What's up?
1:13:31
Caller
I have a question for Jaugares first.
1:13:32
Adam
All right.
1:13:33
Caller
How are you?
1:13:35
Drew
Bien, bien.
1:13:36
Caller
I was wondering...
1:13:37
Adam
Said good, good.
1:13:39
Caller
I was wondering if you guys are going to come up north to Oakland or San Francisco maybe next year?
1:13:45
Jaguares
We will.
1:13:46
Caller
Cool, cool.
1:13:48
Adam
Where is the biggest for you guys in the States? Los Angeles?
1:13:51
Jaguares
Here in the States, I guess, around the area of Los Angeles.
1:13:56
Adam
What is second? Chicago? New York?
1:13:58
Jaguares
Chicago is very big.
1:13:59
Adam
Oh, Texas, yeah. Yeah, I can see that being a good place.
1:14:02
Jaguares
Chicago, I think, is the second one.
1:14:04
Adam
Oh, really? Over Texas?
1:14:06
Drew
That's interesting.
1:14:07
Caller
And I also have another question.
1:14:08
Adam
What the hell are they getting over there, Dr. Ryan?
1:14:09
Drew
Fernando, go ahead.
1:14:11
Caller
Yeah. I just want to thank you guys, Adam and Dr. Drew, for you guys having a great show. I know it must be hard for you sometimes for, like, getting all the weird people, but it's really good that we have people like you.
1:14:22
Adam
Oh, thanks.
1:14:22
Caller
And give advice.
1:14:23
Adam
Thank you.
1:14:24
Caller
And I love the man show. You're great. I think you should adopt that little kid, the little Cub Scout kid.
1:14:28
Adam
Oh, yes. Aaron, the man show boy.
1:14:31
Caller
Oh, yeah. You gotta adopt that kid. I mean, you should be your kid right there, man.
1:14:36
Drew
His mom would appreciate that.
1:14:37
Adam
Thanks, Fernando. He's homeschooled, by the way. So it's nice for him to get out of the house and do a little man show bit. This is in reference to Aaron, the man show boy who we have go out into our bidding for us.
1:14:51
Drew
So I'm yesterday trying to get somebody to buy a beer for him outside of a lift.
1:14:54
Adam
Yeah, that was my idea.
1:14:55
Drew
Come on, don't be such a pussy.
1:14:57
Adam
It was great. We took this 11-year-old kid who's about 200 pounds. He's a big boy, but he's short and he's lily white. He wears a Cub Scout uniform and we sent him out to try to buy beer, try to get someone to buy a beer. Lo and behold, a guy eventually did buy him beer, was not set up. It was great. He was like, what do you want? He was like, six pack or 12 pack? The thing was funny is the guy was in a rush. It was funny. Let's go. Okay, what do you want? You want to know if you want it domestic or imported? What is the legal drinking age in Mexico? 18? Do they have one?
1:15:37
Jaguares
Yes, 18.
1:15:38
Adam
How is it enforced? I mean, when you were 15, could you go to the liquor store?
1:15:44
Jaguares
You cannot buy cigarettes or booze, but I guess you can.
1:15:49
Adam
Right.
1:15:49
Jaguares
It's the same as with the cops. You can...
1:15:51
Adam
Right. Grease someone's palm. I like that. I mean, now that I have money, I wish we lived in a society where you could do a little palm greasing. You know what I'm saying, Drew?
1:16:02
Drew
They can just send the police in to buy the beer for them.
1:16:04
Adam
Well, what I mean is you get pulled over, right? Do you feel like a criminal? Do you know what I mean? Do you feel like you need a lesson taught to you? You know it's a big hassle. You know it's going on your driving record. Wouldn't you love just to be able to pull 100 bucks out of your wallet and hand it to the guy? And furthermore, Drew, how fast would you do that if you got pulled over? How fast?
1:16:27
Drew
Fast. It doesn't sound like a great idea for the society at large, though.
1:16:30
Adam
Look at Mexico. It's a utopia. What are you talking about?
1:16:34
Jaguares
Yeah, sure.
1:16:35
Adam
You're going to the airport. You don't want the guy to check a certain bag. You give him 20 bucks, you keep walking, right? Please. How dare you make fun of Mexico, Drew. Is this Armstrong, Sergeant Armstrong?
1:16:50
Caller
Yes, sir.
1:16:50
Adam
What's up there, Sarge?
1:16:52
Caller
Oh, hey.
1:16:54
Caller
Yes, sir.
1:16:54
Adam
Yes, you're 28.
1:16:56
Caller
Yes, sir.
1:16:58
Adam
Yes, sir.
1:16:58
Get on your knees, scumbag.
1:17:01
Adam
A little full metal jacket for you there. What's up, Sarge?
1:17:06
Well, I was in a, I can't disclose the location, but I was in an area where a lot of sand was. About three weeks later, after coming back stateside, I developed a rash in my growing area.
1:17:19
Adam
I see.
1:17:20
I went to the VA and they told me it was nothing but mere heat rash and go away in a week.
1:17:25
Drew
Fungus. Fungus.
1:17:26
Yeah, consequently, it did not.
1:17:28
Drew
Did you take a fungus cream?
1:17:30
Do I do what?
1:17:31
Drew
Did you use a fungus cream?
1:17:34
No, sir. I didn't know it was a fungus at the time. It's now gotten to the size about, oh, you split a baseball in half and put it on both sides of the growing on both sides.
1:17:42
Drew
Yeah. Go get yourself some.
1:17:44
Adam
Antifungal, right?
1:17:46
Drew
Yeah.
1:17:46
Adam
What kind of stuff?
1:17:47
Drew
Oh, some good ones out there. Low tremendous work, microtenal work.
1:17:51
Adam
Just spray the junk down there?
1:17:52
Drew
I'll tell you what, the Lamacil is the one you want. Go ahead and get the Lamacil over the counter.
1:17:57
Does the fungus usually react fairly violent against sweat and other?
1:18:03
Drew
Yeah. It's called Jockitch.
1:18:05
Yeah.
1:18:05
Drew
That's what Jockitch is.
1:18:07
Adam
Let me explain something, Sergeant Fungus, which would be a good wrestling name, by the way. Here's the deal. You're groin, you're nutsack. It's like a dinner roll. Okay. It's like a piece of bread. You take that piece of bread and you sprinkle water on it, and then you put a glass over it and you put it out in the sun, and you get heat and you get moisture and you get a greenhouse effect. Well, in a couple of days, what do you got on that bread?
1:18:34
Drew
Mold.
1:18:35
Adam
You got mold.
1:18:35
Drew
Penicillin.
1:18:36
Adam
You got stuff growing all over that bread. But you take that same roll, you put it out in the sun with the wind blowing, and what do you got?
1:18:43
Drew
Dry bread.
1:18:43
Adam
What do you got? Mold. It's a horrible point. Old bread. The point is that a rat eats it. Okay? So, what's worse, mold on your nuts or a rat devouring your scrotum sack? I think I've made my point. No, here's the deal. You want to dry something out, you gotta free ball it a little bit, you gotta dump some powder down there, you gotta spray that Mycidin or that Desinax, whatever that Lamisil, you gotta keep it dry. If it's a moist, wet, if it's a moist, warm environment, the mold is gonna propagate. Is that a good word there, Drew?
1:19:17
Drew
Beautiful.
1:19:18
Adam
Thank you. Yeah, you gotta dry everything out. I'll tell ya, like for instance, you get a cut, you get a cut, you put a band-aid on it, you leave that band-aid on for two weeks, you pull the band-aid off, it looks like you got to cut 10 minutes ago. You gotta air it out. That's what heals everything, blow wind on it. I'll put a fan down my pants a couple times a day, just to air it out, just to ventilate.
1:19:41
Drew
Is that what you're doing?
1:19:43
Adam
Yeah, I'm putting a fan down my pants, thank you. Jaime, you're either Jewish or Mexican, which one?
1:19:50
Caller
I'm Mexican.
1:19:51
Adam
Okay, good, because that'd be a horrible name for a Jew. Kind of cruel parents for those to be. That'd be funny if you named your kid Jaime, your Jewish family.
1:20:01
Caller
Isn't there some joke with like Jaime Town or something like that?
1:20:04
Adam
Oh yeah, yeah.
1:20:05
Caller
I haven't heard of him too much, that's right, I'm Mexican though, so that's all right. I had a question for Jaguares.
1:20:12
Jaguares
Que paso?
1:20:13
Caller
Alfonso, Saúl, Buenas noches.
1:20:14
Jaguares
Hola, Buenas noches.
1:20:15
Caller
I have a question about the new song they have on the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, only came out on the Latin American edition.
1:20:25
Jaguares
Yes.
1:20:25
Caller
So I was wondering if that was going to be available in the United States.
1:20:29
Jaguares
It's going to be in a new CD that's coming out with some songs from the history of the band, from Jaugares. And this song and another song that's all did with, how do you call it? Chep Calen.
1:20:46
Adam
So it'll be on a Jaguares compilation.
1:20:49
Jaguares
Compilation, yes. It's going to be released here in August.
1:20:53
Adam
All right, Jaime.
1:20:54
Caller
Okay, I'd like to ask one more question. Sure. I know Alfonso plays with the band called La Barranca.
1:21:01
Jaguares
Yes.
1:21:01
Caller
And I was wondering what does Jaguares do when he goes off and plays with them? Do you agarra un otro que toca bateria or do you kind of just take a vacation and start writing or how does that work?
1:21:14
Jaguares
No, La Barranca has another drummer that plays when I cannot make it.
1:21:19
Adam
But what does Jaguares do when you can't make it?
1:21:23
Jaguares
I can always make it.
1:21:24
Adam
Oh, okay. Well, there you go, Jaime.
1:21:26
Caller
Okay. Thanks a lot, guys. You guys are a great band. Thank you.
1:21:29
Adam
Yeah, that's called, in Spanish, it's called Prioritiasia. Prioritiasia. Priorities. Priorities. There you go. True. You know, the Mexicans, they rip off all our big words, and they try to make it their own like a dictionary. Like how do you say dictionary?
1:21:45
Jaguares
Dictionary.
1:21:45
Adam
There you go. Another one of our good words.
1:21:48
Jaguares
That's the other way around.
1:21:49
Drew
They steal the big one.
1:21:51
Adam
Parking lot?
1:21:52
Jaguares
Estacionamiento. That's a different one. It's better to say like parking.
1:21:56
Adam
What the hell kind of point are you trying to make over there?
1:21:58
Drew
In France they say parking.
1:22:00
Adam
Hypochondriac. How do you say that?
1:22:02
Jaguares
Hypochondriaco.
1:22:03
Adam
There you go. You put the O at the end, like it's all of a sudden like you made it up. Please, who are you fooling? That's our word. You guys start making up your own words.
1:22:13
Jaguares
That's the other way around actually. Those are Latin words and our language comes from Latin directly.
1:22:17
Adam
Let's not confuse this with the truth. I was on a roll. Drew, any more parking lot references you'd like to make or can we go to commercial?
1:22:25
Drew
Let's go.
1:22:26
Adam
All right.
1:22:27
Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.
1:23:06
Adam
Hey, yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. We have a Jaguares here tonight. Their CD is called Bajo el Azul de Todora Barabadas. Maestro?
1:23:20
Jaguares
Bajo el Azul de Tu Misterio.
1:23:22
Adam
Wait, say that again.
1:23:23
Jaguares
Bajo el Azul de Tu Misterio. Under the mystery of your blue or something like that. It will be the translation.
1:23:30
Adam
I see. All right. I was on a roll there. I just kind of petered out at the end. Maybe I got a little excited. You were doing great. I sounded like I was calling a soccer match instead of giving the name of the CD.
1:23:38
Caller
Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal.
1:23:39
Adam
Oh, man, he must be. How much commercial? Where's that guy from? Is he from Mexico? The goal.
1:23:46
Drew
Where's he from? Pasadena.
1:23:48
Adam
Pasadena?
1:23:48
Drew
His dad works with me.
1:23:49
Adam
He's a gringo?
1:23:51
Drew
I don't know. No, he's Argentinian. He's Argentinian.
1:23:54
Adam
The guy at the soccer match.
1:23:56
Caller
I think he's from Argentina.
1:23:57
Adam
At the World Cup. Half an hour.
1:24:02
Caller
He has a hole in the voice.
1:24:06
Adam
Imagine how many commercial endorsements he's getting back in his homeland of Argentina. All right, we will hear something from Jaguars off of the Bajo eso de la Carola. And, oh boy, Drew, what's this one called?
1:24:23
Drew
Tu reino?
1:24:23
Adam
Tu reino?
1:24:24
Jaguares
Así es. Yeah? Tu reino.
1:24:26
Adam
Tu reino. That is little Jaguares off here, something called the Torreno. And that of course is off of the Baja el Zula, Calat, Calanonar, Calarera, which means how blue are your eyes? Which means Bajorahabalabala.
1:29:27
Jaguares
Clear, clear.
1:29:28
Adam
Yeah, that means blue eyes, right?
1:29:30
Caller
Blue something with the blue?
1:29:31
Caller
Blue mystery in the something happening.
1:29:35
Adam
Oh, okay. There you go. Another good one from Jaguares. Ryan?
1:29:40
Yes.
1:29:41
Adam
You're 16?
1:29:42
Caller
Yeah.
1:29:42
Adam
What's up?
1:29:44
Caller
I think my girlfriend cheated with my stepbrother, and I don't know. I don't know how to confront her with that.
1:29:49
Drew
Why do you believe that?
1:29:50
Caller
Why do I believe that? Well, her birthday was last Monday. She had a party, and she lives down in North Carolina. It's where I really live. I'm just up here visiting my mom, and I wanted to attend it and all, and I found out from another friend that my stepbrother went over there and stayed the night that night, and she's starting to act all weird about this stuff now, and I don't know, you know.
1:30:11
Drew
Why don't you talk to your stepbrother?
1:30:13
Caller
Huh?
1:30:13
Drew
Can you talk to your stepbrother?
1:30:16
Caller
Yeah.
1:30:17
Adam
Well, he's just going to deny it. How old is he?
1:30:19
Caller
How old is he? He's 14.
1:30:21
Drew
How old is she?
1:30:22
Caller
She's 15.
1:30:23
Adam
She's 11. She's, and where are you now?
1:30:26
Caller
Where am I now? I'm in Cincinnati.
1:30:29
Adam
You're now in Cincinnati? Is that where you are now, right now?
1:30:31
Caller
Yeah.
1:30:32
Adam
Where are you now? Cincinnati. Okay. So when are you going home?
1:30:36
Caller
I'll be home the first week of August.
1:30:38
Adam
I see.
1:30:39
Drew
I suggest you end this relationship.
1:30:41
Caller
Why? I mean, it's a lose-lose situation.
1:30:44
Adam
Well, hold on a second. So somebody told you your stepbrother spent the night. Yeah. Would there be any reason to spend the night?
1:30:53
Caller
I see none.
1:30:55
Adam
Yeah. But if you talk to him, I mean-
1:30:57
Drew
What's he going to say?
1:30:57
Adam
He's going to say, I drank too much, I passed out in the spare room, right?
1:31:02
Caller
More like you smoked too much, but basically, yeah.
1:31:04
Adam
Right. Do you think those two have had a thing? Do you think they like each other?
1:31:09
Caller
I don't know.
1:31:10
Adam
Well, then why-
1:31:11
Caller
That's what scares me.
1:31:12
Adam
But here's my point. It shouldn't scare you because- Here's what should scare you. If you noticed a little chemistry between the two of them in the past. Do you know what I mean?
1:31:23
Caller
Yeah.
1:31:23
Adam
You can't get a read off of her. I mean, most 15-year-old girls who have a 16-year-old boyfriend, even if it's you, Ryan, don't want to go back to some 14-year-old kid.
1:31:33
Drew
Right.
1:31:34
Adam
Do you ever get any vibe off of her that she had any interest in him?
1:31:41
Caller
Sometimes. It's kind of rare, but yeah, a little bit.
1:31:43
Adam
A little bit? Sometimes, but not much?
1:31:46
Caller
Yeah.
1:31:46
Adam
Okay. Well, write that down, Drew.
1:31:48
Drew
Yeah. Ryan, either he... I don't know. I didn't know where to begin. All right. My thing is, hey, you're 15, you freaked out by your girlfriend.
1:31:54
Adam
Can you talk to your... All right.
1:31:56
Drew
If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be in the relationship.
1:31:59
Adam
Ryan, this sounds like more you.
1:32:00
Drew
Yes.
1:32:01
Adam
You sound pretty easily freaked out.
1:32:04
Caller
I'm more of the quiet type, but yeah, you could say that.
1:32:06
Adam
Yeah, you're quiet, but you're just the kind of guy who snaps, and gets a hunting rifle and goes up to a water tower, right? All right, Ryan. Wait a minute. He's making a note now, too. Let's see. Get a rifle, go to hunting tower. Yeah. Oh, God. Isn't it horrible being a 16-year-old man?
1:32:26
Drew
That's true.
1:32:27
Adam
You know what I mean?
1:32:27
Drew
Oh, absolutely.
1:32:28
Adam
You guys remember that? Jealous.
1:32:29
Jaguares
Yeah, yes, it's terrible.
1:32:31
Adam
Yeah. Now, you get to be our age, and it's like, listen, is she cheating? Oh, who cares? I got to watch TV. I mean, you care, but this poor Ryan, he's up all night. He's creating elaborate scenarios.
1:32:48
Drew
I swear to God, I go to animal models. When I think about the young orangutans jumping around, and then the old guys sitting in the back, you can barely get up.
1:32:56
Adam
Yeah, the older orangutans, they're sitting in the tree, they're picking stuff off themselves. That's it. You stop picking on other people, you start picking yourself. That's what happens. When you're young, you go pick on everyone else, then you get home. Now you want to be left alone so you can pick it yourself. You got stuff, psoriasis, scaling.
1:33:13
Drew
I watch you in your nose every night.
1:33:14
Adam
Oh, I go out, yeah, and drive home. I got one fan. It's amazing. I can drive a stick and pick my nose the way I do. Thank you, Drew. So what have we learned tonight? I cramp in a popcorn bucket and I pick my nose. Anything else, Drew? Can I talk about the time I cried when my hamster died when I was nine? Drew, you'll not rest until I can't get light.
1:33:33
Drew
Evelyn, what's going on?
1:33:34
Caller
Quick. I have a question for Howard.
1:33:37
Adam
Yeah, Tate?
1:33:38
Caller
First of all, hi, Adam. Hi, Drew. I really love your show.
1:33:40
Adam
All right, now hold on a second. Drew, what do you say? How high are you? How high are you? Here's the question. Drew wants to settle in 47 seconds. He wants to know.
1:33:52
Drew
He'll ask if he can't bring it. He's not going to get through it.
1:33:54
Adam
Well, I just want to know how stupid Drew is. She want to know how Saul got over his drug addiction, and he says, do it in 30 seconds.
1:34:03
Drew
Well, ask her question in 30 seconds. All right.
1:34:06
Adam
You're over your drug addiction?
1:34:08
Caller
Sort of, yeah.
1:34:08
Adam
Yeah, all right. Sort of. But you're not high now, right?
1:34:13
Caller
No, I'm not.
1:34:14
Adam
All right. That's over with. How did you sort of get over it, I guess is the question.
1:34:19
Caller
No, it's just that suddenly you get conscious about that, and you have to confrontate it and clean yourself. It's not so big deal.
1:34:29
Adam
What was your drug of choice?
1:34:31
Caller
Well, it's cocaine and... acids.
1:34:37
Adam
Acids. But listen, Mexico is different. Everyone does.
1:34:40
Drew
I'm also not sure.
1:34:41
Caller
We don't have heroin in Mexico.
1:34:42
Drew
I'm not so sure. That's not addiction. Let's just use... using a lot of drug is not addiction.
1:34:47
Adam
Okay.
1:34:47
Drew
Two different things.
1:34:48
Adam
We're going to take a break. Drew's going to do a quick urine sample of Samuel.
1:34:52
Drew
And we'll be looking for some bento that can eat.
1:34:54
Adam
We'll be back after this.
1:34:58
Drew
Hello. What is this? This is Loveline.
1:35:00
1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline. We'll be right back.
1:35:28
Adam
And Drew just made a very valid point that Eskimos were worse than Mexicans, right, Drew? Thank you. You're sure you're not just kissing the ass because Jaguares is here tonight? All right. I want to thank you guys very much for coming in. The night flew by, which is a compliment to you, because it always means there was some entertainment to be had. Everyone go out there and support Jaguares. They've been here three times, so they're officially family, and guys, we do appreciate it.
1:35:58
Caller
Oh, thank you.
1:35:59
Adam
So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:36:03
Drew
Grandes exitos en español.
1:36:06
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.