Episode 1000754887445

1:42 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:53 Adam Yeah. I got burned by these goddamn headphones. I put them on the second they made that big scratching sound at the beginning. Oh, everyone, just relax. Everyone, relax with all this Dolby crap or this surround sound crap and all. Play the opening.

2:11 Drew It's such a horrible mode.

2:12 Adam Horrible mode.

2:13 Drew Let's go, Grandpa.

2:14 Adam Oh, just put a little classical underneath it. Let's call the life, please. Anderson, come on. Give me a shot at the top of this thing. Give me all those explosions and things, please. All right. Hey, this is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It is a Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

2:38 Drew I feel positively young when I'm around you, too.

2:42 Adam Oh, that's the sound that happened when I put my headphones on. Fenix TX is the band that is in here tonight. Damon and Willie are both here from that band. Hi, guys. Sorry about my mood. I've been in a horrible mood all day.

2:58 Drew You didn't get a chance to fly your plane. What happened?

3:00 Adam I was just putzing around my house the entire day in my underpants.

3:03 Drew That's what you love to do.

3:04 Adam I know, but it's a love-hate thing I have with me in my underpants. I felt I should be singing at the beach and I was putzing around the whole day.

3:14 Drew You got nothing done?

3:15 Adam Nothing done.

3:16 Drew 50 phone calls.

3:17 Adam Horrible mood.

3:18 Drew Lots of phone calls?

3:18 Adam Yeah. All right. I'm going to make a big comeback here. Are you ready? Okay. Here we go. Drew, do the interview with the band, please.

3:31 Drew Well, give me the stuff here. So you guys are going on tour?

3:33 Adam There you go.

3:34 Fenix TX No, I just got back from tour.

3:35 Drew Now you've got something coming up in the tour events.

3:37 Fenix TX Way to go, Drew. You're already messing up.

3:38 Adam Yeah, they just got back from their tour.

3:40 Drew Portland, August 6.

3:42 Fenix TX Those are actually radio shows.

3:44 Adam Those are radio shows, Drew.

3:44 Fenix TX Those don't count.

3:45 Drew I see. These are upcoming radio. It says tour events on here.

3:49 Adam It probably is.

3:49 Fenix TX Well, it's like you're on tour because you're not home. You're playing shows at other places.

3:53 Adam All right. Blink 182. There you go. You're on their label, right?

3:58 Fenix TX Well, they're on our label.

3:59 Adam They're on your label. Doesn't someone manage you? Who is that? What is that story?

4:03 Fenix TX Mark used to manage us when he had lots and lots of time on his hands, but now he's like super pop star, rock star, and he spends more time with his dog.

4:13 Adam Than with you guys?

4:14 Fenix TX Yeah.

4:16 Fenix TX He's our co-manager.

4:17 Adam He's got to prioritize that Mark.

4:19 Fenix TX Exactly.

4:19 Adam His head's getting a little inflated, right Drew?

4:22 Drew Hey, did you check out that in their bio, it says, in summer of 1999, Fenix realized another dream when they were guests on Loveline.

4:28 Fenix TX Another dream.

4:29 Adam That's another dream for you guys?

4:30 Fenix TX This is by the way, same room.

4:32 Drew This is a great publicist.

4:35 Drew In the show they're going to.

4:36 Adam Yeah, very smart. Very smart.

4:38 Fenix TX There he is right there.

4:40 Adam I'm already perking up. Well, there is one good publicist everybody. I stand corrected. That's right. It's so funny. I am so easy. All I need is just one ounce of smoke blown up my ass and my mood will turn and I will like people.

4:57 Fenix TX Do you feel better now?

4:58 Adam I like evil people. Yes. Not that you guys are evil, but there's people out there that are considered bad people that nobody likes. I love them because they're nice to me. Really?

5:07 Fenix TX Yeah, lots of people consider us evil. Some people think I'm a racist and that I like to beat women.

5:13 Adam Really?

5:13 Fenix TX Yeah, the Internet is full of lies.

5:15 Fenix TX But he's not totally racist, he really only hates certain minorities and doesn't beat women, he beats little girls. Right.

5:22 Adam What?

5:22 Fenix TX He's just crazy.

5:24 Adam All right.

5:24 Fenix TX The lies that are spread on the Internet, you know how it goes.

5:26 Adam We're going to take some calls and then we'll hear something from Fenix TX. Oh boy. Lachelle? Lachelle. Did I pronounce that? Lachelle, you're 14, what's up?

5:37 Caller Okay, I got fingered for my first time and every time I go to the bathroom, it like burns really bad.

5:45 Fenix TX Oh. Urinary infection or something. Did the person have anything on his fingers when he was fingering you? Like some jello, hot sauce?

5:56 Caller No.

5:57 Drew Then you have to have that. Just the pressure there and then God knows these young men are sort of groping like they're trying to toss a salad or something.

6:07 Adam Toss a salad?

6:08 Drew Toss a salad.

6:09 Adam Yeah. Who knows?

6:10 What are you talking about?

6:11 Adam Yeah. It's like they're trying to fish something out of the garbage disposal. It's probably the move they're using.

6:17 Drew There you go. It causes pressure on the urethra and pushes bacteria up into the bladder and causes urine infections. You need to call the doctor. You don't even have to tell them about how you got this. Just tell them it hurts when you pee, all right?

6:28 Caller Yeah.

6:28 Adam All right. Good luck with the fingering.

6:31 Caller Okay.

6:32 Adam All right. And Eric, you're 19. What's up?

6:38 Caller Whenever my girlfriend gives me a blowjob, it seems like I can never come.

6:43 I don't know what my problem is.

6:45 Adam You're gay. It's very simple. We'll move on to the next call. Never. A lot of guys are this way.

6:53 Drew Yeah. It's just the way it is. Really?

6:55 Adam Yeah.

6:55 Caller It's been like 25 times or has she tried?

6:57 Drew Nah. You're saving yourself for the real thing.

7:00 Fenix TX We're a real man.

7:02 Adam Do you have sex with her?

7:03 Drew No, not yet.

7:04 Adam Not yet. You're in bad shape then.

7:06 Drew Go for that one. Your penis is a conscientious objector.

7:09 Fenix TX Tri-anal, Eric.

7:10 Drew I will not participate in a blowjob unless...

7:13 Adam Listen, my penis loves to participate in a blowjob.

7:16 Drew So does mine.

7:16 Adam It really does. I enjoy those. And I really question those who don't. I would not like to hang out with young Eric. I really wouldn't. I would look at him as flawed, him and his penis. And it's like an ideology that I can't subscribe to.

7:32 Drew But it exists in the world and we can live peacefully side by side.

7:36 Adam A lot of guys are this way. You'll be fine, Eric. And I bet you'll even come around, pardon the pun, in later years. Is there some sort of counseling he can go to?

7:43 Drew No.

7:44 Adam There's a 12-step program. Actually, it's a... BJA? BJA. That's right.

7:52 Fenix TX No, Blowjobber's anonymous.

7:54 Adam I'll be taking a cake this weekend if anyone wants to swing by the fan eyes. All right, Eric. You're fine. But it's got to be rough that he's getting the BJs and he's not having the intercourse, so he has no way to get a release. Oh, and by the way, guess what I got in the mail? Oh, I told you that. Didn't I tell you I got my Jenna Jamieson porn 3D DVD thing back in the mail?

8:21 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 3D. I heard that.

8:24 Adam No, it's not 3D, but I busted that thing out earlier today.

8:28 Drew You sold the penis back on?

8:29 Adam Yeah. I told Jenna if she gave me the DVD porn that I would pull my penis off, and then I would sue her.

8:39 Fenix TX Can you do that? Can you sue someone for ripping your penis off and- During masturbation, if it's to their movie?

8:44 Adam First off, I think you can sue anyone these days for almost anything, and they'll just settle out of court. Secondly, I think if someone causes you to pull your penis off, yeah, they'd be liable. I think so.

8:58 Drew At least for the ER visit today.

8:59 Adam I wouldn't have pulled my penis off had it not been for her in that movie. Certainly, I'd never pulled my penis off before. Do you know what I mean?

9:08 Drew Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

9:12 Adam So, in summation, therefore, my client, yeah, I'd be wearing a suit.

9:18 Fenix TX Do you like Janine?

9:18 Adam Yeah, like, yeah.

9:19 Fenix TX She came to our show in LA the other day.

9:21 Adam Oh, really?

9:21 Fenix TX The last show we played with Blink. That's nice. She didn't look as good as on the cover.

9:26 Adam Yeah, well, you know, they do wonders with lighting and makeup and airbrushes. Carmen?

9:32 Yeah.

9:33 Adam You're 16?

9:33 Caller Yeah.

9:34 Adam What's up?

9:35 Caller Okay, what exactly is alcohol poisoning? What are the symptoms?

9:38 Drew Unconsciousness.

9:39 Caller Oh, okay.

9:40 Drew And stopping breathing.

9:41 Fenix TX Waking up with a penis in your mouth.

9:43 Drew No, not being so sedated or really anesthetized that you stop breathing.

9:49 Caller Oh, okay.

9:50 Fenix TX Yeah, but where did this come from?

9:51 Drew Why? What's the problem?

9:52 Caller No, because I got really drunk like on Friday, but I'm not unconscious.

9:57 Drew What was the whole issue of poisoning? Why did that come into this?

10:00 Caller No, because I was feeling really sick and I feel like throwing up, but I don't know what it is.

10:05 Drew That's what alcohol does, hangover.

10:07 Adam When is it? Isn't it always poisoning?

10:10 Drew Yeah.

10:10 Adam I mean, it's just a matter of degree.

10:12 Drew Absolutely.

10:12 Adam Well, I mean, here's what I'm saying. If you took a drain cleaner and you put a capful of it in a big glass of Kool-Aid, you'd drink it and you'd feel a little sick. But then if you put a whole glass of drain cleaner and drank the whole glass, you'd be vomiting, you'd be dying. So same sort of thing. It's a matter of degree, right?

10:31 Drew It's interesting that alcohol of all the drugs that people use is the only compound that's actually a poison to all human tissue. The others are not poisonous. Wow.

10:40 Adam What do you mean the others? You mean like-

10:41 Drew Any of them. Name the drug.

10:42 Adam Heroin?

10:42 Drew Heroin. Heroin makes screws with the endorphin system in the brain and causes bad disease of addiction. Doesn't hurt anything.

10:49 Adam Right.

10:49 Drew How you give it hurts things. How you give things can hurt you. The IV use of drugs can hurt you, but that's it.

10:56 Adam Right. So alcohol is bad. Well, you figure alcohol is bad because A, it burns, which is kind of a weird thing. Like, you know, you throw a match on a bottle of gin, it's just gonna blow up on you, which is kind of weird because think about other stuff you drink that catches on fire. There's not a whole lot. I mean, paint thinner, gasoline, whatever. It's all kind of on the off limits. What else do you drink that catches on fire?

11:19 Drew Not just catches on fire, but combustible.

11:21 Adam Yeah. Okay. Now, number two, you take a thing, you take a can full of vodka and you dump it on a cockroach or an ant or something, it'll die. I mean, it'll knock it down. It'll take it out.

11:35 Fenix TX I'm gonna try that tomorrow.

11:36 Adam Yeah, try that. You use the cheap stuff. Don't use the top shelf stuff to kill bugs.

11:42 Drew Increases the risk of multiple cancers. She may have pancreatitis, liver disease. It's just tons and tons of things.

11:47 Fenix TX She just needs to move on to marijuana.

11:49 Fenix TX She didn't drink anyway. It's crazy.

11:51 Adam Katrina?

11:52 Caller Hello?

11:53 Adam Hey, you're 13. What's up?

11:54 Caller Hi. Well, like, my... I have a stepbrother and he keeps making sexual pasts at me and he's been living here for like two months now. And I don't know what to do because one morning I woke up and there was... come on my bed.

12:12 Drew Oh, my God.

12:12 Caller Wow.

12:13 Drew Kick him in the balls. Is this your mom or your dad you're with?

12:17 Caller This is my mother.

12:18 Drew Your mom.

12:19 Adam How do you know that was on your bed?

12:21 Fenix TX How do you know it was your mother that did it?

12:22 Caller When I woke up it was right on my bed right by my head.

12:25 Drew Adam, even if you've never seen that...

12:26 Adam When you woke up. That's a joke.

12:28 Fenix TX I think he meant that to be funny.

12:29 Drew Even if you've never seen that, I don't think there's a bunch of mistake yet.

12:32 Adam You don't have a bird, do you? No. No. All right. Well, I'm out of possibilities. Oh, wait a minute. Hold on a second. Something like that. Hold on. Wait a minute. Now, I've done extensive experimentations in a lab-like setting with semen and how it reacts on fabric, and I've tested all kinds of fabric. Linen, muslin, cotton, everything. Synthetics, suede, ultra suede. What's my sofa made out of? Leather.

13:03 Fenix TX Nogahide.

13:04 Adam The carpeting, even the stuff with the Anso 4.

13:07 Fenix TX What would you say is the most resistant?

13:09 Adam Well, here's, oh, it's, you achieve different things with different fabrics. I don't want to, I don't want to say one's better than the other. But I can tell you this, that stuff goes away pretty fast. I mean, there's a little, there's going to be something there, but it's...

13:23 Fenix TX Crest.

13:23 Adam I don't think she's going to recognize it. I mean, if he does it in the middle of the night kind of thing...

13:28 Fenix TX You can smell it.

13:29 Adam And what is, what is she saying? He came into the room while she was asleep and did this and...

13:34 Fenix TX He came into the room.

13:35 Adam Did it like a thief in the night? Katrina?

13:39 Fenix TX Came all over the room.

13:40 Adam You, you really think he did this?

13:42 Caller Yeah, I do. Because he was laughing. Like, I woke up and I was, I took off my sheets because I thought it was like something like, I don't know, like I drooled or something. Like a what? Like I drooled or something.

13:51 Adam Right.

13:52 Caller But it wasn't because he started laughing when I took off my sheets in the morning.

13:55 Fenix TX Well, what you should do is wipe your ass with his pillowcase.

13:57 Adam Yeah.

13:58 Fenix TX That would be funny.

13:59 Fenix TX That would get him back.

14:00 Fenix TX Definitely. On the inside though, not the outside where he can see it, just when he falls asleep so he can smell it.

14:04 Adam Oh yeah, the smell comes through.

14:05 Fenix TX Even take a doody out of the toilet and stick it in his pillowcase.

14:09 Drew Fenix TX guys, they're all laughs.

14:11 Adam Slow down. I can't write that fast. Take the doody out of the toilet and do what?

14:14 Fenix TX Put it in the pillowcase.

14:15 Adam Oh, in the pillowcase.

14:16 Fenix TX No, that would be too messy. Plus you have to touch it and it would be nasty. Just get him back. It sounds like a joke.

14:21 Fenix TX Plastic gloves.

14:22 Adam No. Listen, talk to your mom.

14:24 Drew Yeah, talk to your mom.

14:25 Adam That sounds bizarre.

14:25 Drew You've got to tell your mom.

14:27 Adam The fact that he was laughing, that you were changing the sheets, though, does not necessarily mean he masturbated on them in the middle of the night.

14:33 Drew Are you guys in the same room?

14:34 No, no.

14:35 Adam Well, how do you, you figure you just slept through him coming into your room and masturbating?

14:40 I don't like it very easy.

14:41 Adam All right, hey, do me a favor, Katrina. Now listen to me, would you? I know you're not gonna do this. I really know you're not, but just humor me and do it. Please.

14:51 Caller Okay.

14:51 Adam Just get a lock for your door.

14:53 Caller Oh, good idea.

14:55 Adam Go down to anywhere and just get one of those little four dollar barrel bolt catch locks. Not gonna keep anybody out if they really wanna come in, but they can't come in in the middle of the night without kicking in the door.

15:07 Drew It also gives you a perfect sort of entree to have a discussion with your mom. She says, why are you putting this bolt on your door?

15:14 Adam You should talk to her. Just get the little cheap barrel bolt one that screws, you know, surface mount, screws right onto the casing, no problem. All right?

15:21 Okay, thank you.

15:22 Adam Please get that.

15:23 Okay.

15:24 Adam All right. Listen, I think it's time for me to give my speech on how people can make their lives better. Everyone should have a lock on their bedroom door. Think about it.

15:34 Fenix TX Privacy?

15:35 Adam Well, you fall asleep, you hear these horror stories all the time where the chick says, I woke up and there was a figure standing at the foot of the bed with a knife, you know, or you hear the other horror stories. I was whacking off and my stepmom came barreling into the room. There's a million reasons why you should have a lock on your door, but why not? It's your bedroom. You could be whatever. You're naked, you're whacking off, you don't want to get raped. Whatever the hell it is you're doing in there. Just lock the door. Why wouldn't everyone do this? Why does not every house come with a lock on the bedroom door?

16:12 Fenix TX Good solution.

16:13 Adam Yeah. It's not going to take much. It doesn't have to be a deadbolt. Just one of those little catches like they have in the bathrooms. Joe?

16:21 Drew Yeah.

16:21 Adam You're 17.

16:23 Drew You mean a hook? Those little hook things?

16:25 Adam Well, what I'm talking about is a... You're a barrel bolt. I'm talking about a barrel bolt. You just slide it across and it catches a little eye hook on the other side.

16:32 Drew These stupid hook things.

16:33 Adam Yeah, whatever you want. They're all five bucks. The plan is you're not going to keep anybody out. They're not going to be able to surprise you is basically how it goes. And don't worry, when your stepmom tries to come in and the door is locked, she'll use her imagination, but imagination doesn't hold up in court. Joe, you're 17. What's up?

16:54 Caller Lately, the past week, I guess, I've been having sex and masturbating, and the closer and closer I get to an orgasm, I'd get this really, really bad, like migraine.

17:06 Drew Do you have a history of migraine? Do you have a history of migraine?

17:09 Caller No, I don't at all.

17:11 Drew Where's the headache?

17:11 Caller It's like in the back, very back of my head.

17:14 Drew Any other symptoms associated with that?

17:16 Caller Not really. It's just...

17:17 Drew Nothing. Numbness, tingling, visual disturbances, anything like that.

17:20 Caller No, not really.

17:21 Adam What are you doing? Are you in the shower or something?

17:23 Caller No. Well, anywhere.

17:24 Adam I mean... You can hit your head on the towel rack sometimes and not even know it.

17:29 Caller Well, it started out... When you heated the moment...

17:32 Adam What happened?

17:32 Caller It started during sex and the past few times I did.

17:37 Adam Maybe the guy's ass was too tight. He was cutting off circulation.

17:41 Fenix TX Was your partner doing anything strange to your head?

17:45 Adam No. He wasn't banging it against the headboard or anything like that? All right. Drew, what is it?

17:51 Drew Well, there are headaches, different kinds of headaches associated with orgasm. It is something you do need to send a doctor. I know he's not gay. I'm not gay! It's not necessarily anything you should be alarmed about just based on there not being any other symptoms associated with it. Usually it's not that big a deal, but it is something that requires evaluation.

18:10 Caller Yeah, I mean, once I felt I would black out or something. It was really painful.

18:18 Adam You have to, I'll tell you what, get your life partner to drive you down to see a doctor and then you and he can discuss it. I think he should be a part of it if there's a decision to be made, wouldn't you say, Drew?

18:31 Caller Yeah.

18:31 Adam Okay.

18:32 Drew And wait, wait, Joe, have there been orgasms in the past without headaches?

18:36 Caller No, not at all.

18:36 Drew Never?

18:39 Caller In the past year or two, I've been getting the pain, but not in anything like that. Usually, it's...

18:43 Adam I think you misunderstood your question.

18:44 Drew I did misunderstand. Have you ever had an orgasm without a headache?

18:47 Caller No.

18:47 Adam Ever? No, wait a minute.

18:49 Fenix TX So as long as you've been having sex, whacking off, you've been getting headaches every single time. It's like, oh, man.

18:57 Caller In the past week or two, I guess.

19:00 Drew So before that, there was no problem.

19:02 Adam Joe's not gay because he's too dumb. I don't know what it is, but really dumb guys don't go gay. What is that? You think you'd have to be dumb to go gay.

19:11 Drew What was the problem with saying, have you ever had an orgasm without a headache?

19:15 Adam No.

19:15 Drew You look at me like, oh, he'll never understand that.

19:17 Adam Listen, I know how stupid our callers are, Drew, and you don't know that.

19:22 Drew How much clearer can a statement be than that?

19:25 Adam You ever see that Bugs Bunny episode where he was with Elmer Fudd, and he said, should I shoot you now? I think Daffy Duck was there, or should I wait till I get home to shoot you? And they kept going around, and it was a shoot me now, and he kept shooting the duck. That's kind of how our listeners are. They're extra super stupid.

19:47 Fenix TX They're special.

19:47 Adam They're special stupid, yeah. They're special, you know, get in free to a Lakers game once a year, put the hockey helmet on, and sit up at the back with a wheelchair accessible ramp. Special.

20:00 Fenix TX You think Joe should go to like see somebody?

20:02 Adam Yes. I would see two people. I really would. All right. Let's hear a little something. What do you say?

20:08 All right.

20:09 Adam Fenix TX is the band and this song, you queued up there Anderson. This is called All My Fault.

23:05 Caller Hey, that's good.

23:08 Adam Fenix TX, All My Fault, another good song for the band. And I just realized the man show is on, everybody. The man show. I got to start plugging that show. I forgot all about it.

23:19 Drew We want to remind people that the inspection show is coming on Wednesday or Thursday, depending where you're listening.

23:25 Adam Where my penis is inspected by a doctor?

23:27 Drew Yes.

23:27 Adam That's right. You're looking for venereal warts?

23:30 Drew We're finding the...

23:31 Adam Bring your $100 in, Drew. I'm going to take that right out of you. And you know what I'm buying? Crack and hard candy with all... Hell yeah. Drew's about me $100. He's going to find a wart on my penis. I have bet him $100 he'll not.

23:46 Drew He's going to light up like Christmas tree.

23:47 Adam We're having a doctor come in. They're going to spread a little, what is it, muriatic acid. What kind of acid they pour in my penis? Vinegar on the penis and then they hold a black light up to it and see if anything winks at them. I'm going to take that $100 and laugh all the way to the bank.

24:02 Fenix TX Or else you're going to cry.

24:04 Adam No, no, I'm that confident in my penis.

24:06 Drew Problem is though we're going to find something.

24:08 Adam My penis is very pristine.

24:08 Drew His denial is so massive that he's going to insist there's nothing there.

24:12 Adam How can I have warts? I've never ever had a wart on my penis in my life.

24:17 Drew That's the whole deal with it sometimes.

24:19 Adam Sometimes. What percentage of the time does that happen?

24:22 Fenix TX It's going to scare you.

24:23 Drew Probably 10 percent.

24:24 Adam No. Well, that's still a smart bet, 100 bucks for 10 percent.

24:28 Drew I'm just basing them on your history. Although, I reconsidered your history, given you missed that whole 16 to 30 window that most people do coolest things.

24:37 Adam Not getting laid is finally paying dividends.

24:40 Drew Yeah, here it is.

24:41 Adam Although, 100 bucks hardly puts a dent in it, if you really think about it.

24:46 Drew In the years of suffering.

24:47 Adam Oh my God. No, you'd really have to mortgage your house. And even then, I'd think about it. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. I'm going to go watch the man show and we'll be back after this.

25:38 Drew I mean, that's how we get the goofy guys. Yeah.

25:40 Fenix TX They all got the big pincers.

25:43 Adam Fenix TX is the band. David and Willie are both here from the band. And Drew and I were, Drew was just enjoying another fine installment of The Man Show on Fabulous Comedy Central. Sunday nights, 10 o'clock, by the way, tell your friends. And I guess I was talking about my theory about goofy guys having big dorks. Dorks having big dorks. Goofier the guy, the bigger the guy's schlong. I got a friend who was always a big goofball, junior high, high school, you know, headset, windbreaker, the whole nine yards, huge dork, just a huge elephant trunk between his legs. And Drew was saying that it made Darwinian sense, or Darwinian-ness, I like to say, that big dorky guys, goofy guys should have big penises. It seems fairly fair.

26:32 Drew Not just forget the sort of fairness issue, it's the only way that part of the species is likely to survive.

26:38 Adam That's right, because what's...

26:40 Drew They weaned out.

26:41 Adam Right.

26:41 Drew Weaned out.

26:42 Adam They weaned out. What's in it for the ladies otherwise? The headset, the windbreaker, the bad hair parted down the middle, the knowledge of Star Trek episodes.

26:53 Fenix TX Now you know, ladies, go get yourself a big dork.

26:55 Adam Yep, they're all hung like black rhinos, those dorks. Chris, you're 16. What's up?

27:03 Caller It's just I'm having these dreams. I can't get them to go away. The stupid camp counselor don't even like her. And can you help me out?

27:11 Drew How long have you been having these dreams?

27:14 Caller Well, I went to the camp this summer about three weeks ago and it's been since then.

27:18 Adam Well, you're home now?

27:19 Caller Yeah.

27:19 Adam How old is the counselor?

27:21 Caller She's probably 20.

27:23 Drew What was the quality of your relationship?

27:24 Adam Hold on, you're 16. What kind of camp you go to?

27:27 Fenix TX What's up with the dreams? Elaborate on the dreams.

27:28 Adam What's up with the camp at 16?

27:31 Caller What?

27:31 Adam You shouldn't be going to camp at 16.

27:33 Caller It's like a leaders in program, LIT thing.

27:36 Fenix TX He's a leader.

27:37 Adam You're a leader? But you got some chick who goes to junior college who's running you around all day? That doesn't sound like a leader.

27:46 Caller No. Yeah. Well, I'm a leader in training and she's a little leader person who's training all day.

27:50 Drew What was the quality of your relationship while you were there? Was it romantic or was it just sort of acquaintance?

27:55 Caller No. I barely even talked to her.

27:57 Drew Do you have a phone number? Could you talk to her?

27:59 Fenix TX You infatuated?

28:00 Adam He says he doesn't like her.

28:02 Caller No, I don't. Not at all.

28:03 Fenix TX All right.

28:04 Caller I mean like these things go away. It's like every night. It's getting really annoying.

28:07 Adam So you mean this is like the Pete Ellis Dodge theme song. You don't like it but you can't stop singing it. Do you know what I'm saying?

28:16 Drew Are they dreams?

28:17 Fenix TX What are the dreams about?

28:19 Caller Exactly.

28:20 Fenix TX Talk about the dreams.

28:21 Adam What are you doing in the dream?

28:23 Caller I'm not even there.

28:25 Adam Okay. Well, who cares?

28:27 Drew Whatever.

28:28 Adam We got people that are strung out on heroin to talk to. Let's talk to some heroin addicts. He's having a dream about some counselor he doesn't like that much.

28:35 Drew What are you doing in the dream?

28:37 Adam Oh, who cares?

28:38 Drew Who cares?

28:39 Adam Who cares?

28:40 Fenix TX He wasn't even in the dream. He wasn't doing anything.

28:42 Adam He's not even there. He's just dreaming about her. Uh, what? Yeah, who cares? And listen, everybody, stop paying attention to your dreams. They mean nothing, especially the one where those two haunchy elderly women beat me with an oversized scrotum in the deep end of my grandmother's swimming pool.

28:57 Fenix TX Bears will not kill you.

28:59 Adam That means nothing.

29:00 Fenix TX Bears will not kill you.

29:01 Adam What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

29:04 Fenix TX My girlfriend has dreams about bears.

29:05 Adam Oh, really?

29:06 Fenix TX Yeah, scary dreams.

29:08 Caller Hey, you're on there with the bears.

29:10 Adam You're 14. What's up?

29:12 Caller Yeah, well. Um, yeah, hey Adam, I like the man show.

29:17 Adam Thank you.

29:18 Caller And, yeah, I smoke a lot of pot and Yeah.

29:22 Adam I want to know, like I'm flabbergasted.

29:25 Fenix TX I can't believe that either, dude.

29:27 Caller Like, if I can stop, you know, like That's what I would ask you.

29:31 Drew Can you stop?

29:32 Caller How should I stop?

29:34 Fenix TX Well, stop. If you can't stop buying it, quit buying it.

29:37 Drew If you can't stop, then you're addicted. Very simple.

29:40 Caller Yeah, I am addicted to it.

29:41 Drew Then you need to get help with it.

29:43 Caller Yeah.

29:44 Caller You need to get some help.

29:46 Drew Have you told your doctor, for instance?

29:47 Adam Oh, he doesn't have a doctor.

29:49 Drew Could you?

29:49 Fenix TX His doctor's high.

29:50 Adam You're 14. How long have you been smoking weed?

29:53 Caller I've been smoking since I was 12.

29:55 Fenix TX You got any?

29:56 Adam You've been smoking every day?

29:58 Caller Yeah.

29:58 Adam All right. So now you want to stop?

30:00 Caller Yeah.

30:01 Adam How about marijuana anonymous, MA? Drew?

30:05 Drew He's 14.

30:07 Fenix TX You in here, for some marijuana?

30:09 Drew MA is 14, may not be quite the right thing for him. I really, this is the kind of thing that we really need to have a lesson.

30:15 Adam You think he has a doctor? Do you have a doctor, David?

30:18 Caller No, I don't.

30:19 Drew Could you get to the medical system or you have somebody?

30:22 Caller I don't see my parents. I don't know if I can just go like that.

30:25 Fenix TX I think that's the easiest thing to do. Tell your mom, I'm sure you will not be allowed to smoke anymore. For real, huh? Tell your mom or dad, there you go, you don't quit.

30:33 Drew When marijuana addiction really develops, it is profoundly addictive and it is extremely difficult to stop, which is what David is struggling with here. It's really very similar to any other very seriously addictive drug.

30:47 Adam For a smaller percentage of society, right?

30:49 Drew Absolutely. It's only a certain percentage of people that get this kind of addiction. It's just a certain biological predisposition.

30:54 Adam All right. Let me ask you this. Most people, when it comes to like coke, can get into that pretty quick.

31:03 Drew Even if you take profound alcoholics and people that know they're alcoholics, only a percentage of those have the potential of marijuana addiction. Right.

31:10 Adam So whatever society is with coke, 80 percent, something like that.

31:14 Drew Let's say all alcoholics can become cocaine addicts, period.

31:17 Adam Right.

31:18 Drew But only about 20, 30 percent can become marijuana addicts.

31:21 Adam All right. So you're saying he really has a gift this, David.

31:23 Drew Yeah.

31:24 Fenix TX He's up there.

31:25 Drew It's an adolescent that requires an adolescent treatment program. The typical 12 step unless they're adolescent groups.

31:31 Adam What if he called AA? What if he opened the phone book and just wanted to talk to someone? He'd talk to someone at AA. I agree. I want to get off the weed. What direction can I go?

31:40 Drew They would help.

31:41 Adam Okay. Sarah?

31:42 Yeah.

31:43 Adam Year 16. What's up?

31:45 Hi.

31:46 I was calling because I had a question about ecstasy.

31:48 Adam All right.

31:49 Yeah. What are the bad effects of it?

31:54 Adam What's going on in the background there?

31:56 Caller I don't know what that is.

31:57 Okay.

31:58 Caller Hello?

31:59 Adam Oh, you don't... That's not your television?

32:01 No. That was something on the phone.

32:03 Adam Oh, okay. All right, Drew. What's bad about ecstasy?

32:07 Drew You're not having a panic attack or depression or anything like that yet? You will.

32:12 Really?

32:12 Drew Oh, yeah.

32:13 Fenix TX Look forward to it.

32:14 Drew And how much you have to take before that stuff starts happening is not known. How much you have to take before that stuff starts happening is unknown, but certainly, under the age of 18, it's more likely to happen sooner than later.

32:26 Well, does it like make, like, do they know anything that, like, is really bad that happens to you?

32:31 Adam Yeah, your ass gets bigger, your breasts shrink.

32:35 Fenix TX Your toes explode in your shoes.

32:37 Fenix TX Yeah, and it's retarded, and you'll probably stop doing it when you're 18.

32:39 Adam Your period lasts another week.

32:41 Fenix TX Drew, I actually read in Time magazine that ecstasy was one of the safest drugs and that they're starting to prescribe it to...

32:46 Drew Yeah, that's one, that article, that article is one of the most disturbing, distorted articles that I've ever seen, because in the same breath, they also say the National Institute of Mental Health, of course, has shown that it's profoundly damaging the brain. It's just that the two paragraphs says, well, there's one group thinks.

33:03 Fenix TX Stupid-ass Time magazine.

33:04 Drew That group could not be, I mean, I read that article, I thought, oh, this is going to damage thousands of people.

33:09 Fenix TX You should just stop anyway because it's retarded.

33:11 Adam Well, listen, here's the deal. Maybe it'll screw you up, maybe it won't. You're 16, you figure you need your brain for at least another eight years, right? I mean, why screw with it? Just don't F with it. And wait till you get older and then, I mean, this, listen, I don't want to come off like I'm preaching or prude or anything like that, especially considering my track record. But I never really did anything before I was 18. I waited till the cement dried in my skull before I started screwing with it. Thank you, thank you very much.

33:48 Drew But more importantly, I was trying to figure out today, I was talking to a friend of mine, why young people don't perceive the harm from X-ray. I mean, we see all these people in the psychiatric hospital, all these problems with mood problems and panic attacks and memory difficulties, and yet you can't get, say, a college-age audience to even begin to accept because it doesn't happen for a long time. And you have to use a fair amount, and this stuff starts happening much, much later, the real serious side effects. So they don't accept it. So we're gonna see a bunch of invalid, really, invalid ravers wearing gumbi pants. Of course, they never be 40. They never be 40 years old. They'll never happen.

34:21 Adam I'm gonna rule the world with all these idiots coming up. It's gonna be great. They'll do my bidding for me. You understand? We're gonna rule.

34:28 Drew They're gonna be too depressed. You kidding?

34:30 Adam No, don't worry. I'll give them little morsels of chocolate to motivate them.

34:35 Caller Do you like chocolate?

34:36 Adam Nicole?

34:37 Yeah. Hey, guys.

34:38 Adam Hey, Fergie, you're 17. What's up?

34:41 Caller Yes, I am. I just wanted to talk to Fenix TX if that was okay.

34:44 Adam Sure.

34:44 Fenix TX What's up, Nicole?

34:46 Caller I saw you guys in concert a few weeks ago with Blink-Winity 2.

34:49 Fenix TX Cool.

34:50 Caller And you were very good.

34:51 Fenix TX Thank you very much.

34:52 Caller Very good. And I've had a few questions. One of them was, how long have you guys been together and how old are you?

34:59 Fenix TX Since 95.

35:00 Caller Since 95?

35:01 Fenix TX Yeah.

35:02 Caller And how old are you guys?

35:03 Fenix TX I just turned 25.

35:05 Fenix TX I'm 25.

35:07 Fenix TX And the other guys are?

35:07 Fenix TX The other guys are 26 and 20.

35:10 Fenix TX No, 21.

35:11 Fenix TX 21. Yeah, he's older now. I forgot.

35:13 Caller Alcoholic now, huh?

35:14 Fenix TX Yeah, totally. That's all he does is drink.

35:16 Fenix TX We're all alcoholics.

35:17 Fenix TX Not me. I don't drink or do anything bad.

35:19 Caller Are you guys going to be like in Washington anytime in the next few months again?

35:24 Fenix TX Probably. I don't know. I don't know our schedule.

35:26 Drew Washington, DC or the state of Washington?

35:28 Caller The state of Washington. Where about?

35:30 Fenix TX Yeah, actually I think we're playing in Seattle pretty soon or at least Portland or somewhere close or something.

35:36 Adam They got Portland coming up on the 19th of August.

35:41 Fenix TX Yeah, drive to Portland on the 19th.

35:42 Adam Go to Portland as close as they get.

35:44 Fenix TX Come visit. All right.

35:46 Caller And let's see what else we're going to ask. Oh, do you guys have like email at all?

35:52 Fenix TX RiverPhoenix at hotmail.com.

35:54 Caller What was that again?

35:55 Fenix TX RiverPhoenix at hotmail.com.

35:57 Fenix TX I don't have a computer.

35:58 Fenix TX I'm sorry. Yeah, that's right, hotmail.com.

36:01 Adam All right, Nicole.

36:01 Caller Did you guys ever read those?

36:03 Fenix TX Yeah, I read it today actually. There was like 400 that I just dumped into trash because I get so much junk mail.

36:09 Adam Nicole?

36:09 Caller Yeah.

36:10 Adam All right.

36:10 Okay.

36:11 Adam See you.

36:11 Thanks.

36:12 Adam Now, this whole e-mail internet stuff, it just seems like a very slippery slope to me. You tell people what your address is. Next thing you know, they start writing you. Then you got to read. You know how I believe that reading poisons the mind, Drew?

36:26 Fenix TX It does.

36:27 Adam No different over the computer. Yes, it's probably worse than ecstasy, it really is. And then you start getting a bunch of invitations and questions and now you got to answer them. It's a very, very slippery slope. You know what I'm saying? People say to me, oh, I emailed you this and I always go, I never saw it. I don't know how to do it and they go, oh, okay, you're lucky.

36:51 Drew Do you even have an email address?

36:52 Adam I don't know. I do, yeah. I think I do, yeah.

36:55 Drew At the Man Show or something?

36:56 Adam I think I may have, I think I have a couple email addresses.

36:59 Fenix TX We only look at pictures.

37:00 Adam I have no idea what they are.

37:02 Fenix TX I just wait till I get some pictures that I can look at some, you know.

37:05 Adam Yeah, then you sit down, you spend three hours, you don't get anything done. You do what I do. You watch TV. That's productive, right? Yeah. Thank you. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Fenix TX is the band in here tonight. We'll hear something else off the CD in the next hour. And when we come back, we'll speak to, Drew likes to, Drew, you know, it's great. Drew starts, his headphones come off. He loosens his belt. He leans back, breaks wind. He really gets into these breaks.

37:33 Caller Was that you, Drew?

37:34 Adam We'll talk to Evan, whose 15 blood comes out of his butt when he goes to the bathroom. We'll get to the bottom of that.

37:42 Caller What the hell?

37:44 Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

38:23 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. Fenix TX is the band. We have Damon and Willie in here from the band of the same name. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Here's something else off the CD in the next hour, and hop back on the phones and speak to Avin. Avin, you're 15.

38:39 Caller Hello, yeah?

38:41 Adam Yeah.

38:41 Caller Yeah, I want to say something real quick to Fenix TX. What's up, Avin? I saw you guys on a Blink concert. You guys are wonderful.

38:46 Fenix TX Thank you.

38:47 Caller Are you guys going to be on the Warped Tour this year?

38:50 Fenix TX No, next year.

38:51 Adam Where did you?

38:52 Caller I saw your name on the roster, so.

38:53 Fenix TX Yeah, we were supposed to play the first show, but it's Damon's fault that we couldn't play it because he had to go play with Blink.

39:00 Caller Oh, that sucks.

39:01 Fenix TX Yeah, he sucks.

39:02 Adam Avin, where did you go to?

39:03 Caller Drumming for Blink.

39:05 Fenix TX What did you say?

39:05 Caller It was real good to drumming for Blink.

39:07 Fenix TX Oh, thank you.

39:08 Adam Oh, that's right.

39:09 Caller Yeah.

39:10 Adam Well, the drummer broke his hand or wrist or something, right?

39:13 Caller Yeah, in a fight I heard or something.

39:14 Fenix TX Yeah. Some dudes were messing with him.

39:17 Fenix TX Hey, Avin, is it you that have blood coming out of your butt?

39:19 Caller Yeah.

39:20 Fenix TX That's a bummer.

39:21 Fenix TX It sucks, dude. It's okay.

39:23 Adam That concert must have really rocked.

39:26 Caller We ripped a new asshole.

39:27 Adam You can stimulate rectal bleeding. You've done your job.

39:30 Drew Do you have any medical problems, Avin?

39:32 Caller No.

39:33 Drew Nothing. Do you have any medication?

39:34 Caller No.

39:35 Fenix TX You've been sticking anything strange up there?

39:37 Caller No.

39:37 Fenix TX It's happened a lot.

39:38 Drew Was this with diarrhea?

39:40 Caller No. It just about probably a year, year and a half ago it started and it's off and on. It's not all the time.

39:46 Drew And you haven't told anybody? It needs to be looked into.

39:50 Caller Yeah.

39:51 Drew It does.

39:51 Caller Looked into literally.

39:51 Drew Probably a hemorrhoid, but really this is something that in your age particularly needs a little more evaluation.

39:57 Fenix TX Somebody's got to look into you.

39:58 Drew Important, okay?

39:59 Caller Okay. So I should just tell Sam the doctor?

40:01 Drew Yes, exactly.

40:02 Caller Okay. Thank you. All right.

40:03 Adam All right. They have special doctors for that, right?

40:07 Fenix TX Sorry about your ass.

40:08 Adam Ear, nose, and a-hole. Is that? I can't remember.

40:11 Drew That's it.

40:12 Adam That's it? All right. Sarah.

40:15 Yeah.

40:15 Adam You're 17?

40:16 Caller Yeah. I was on a date with this guy, right? And it was the first time I'd ever really gone out with them because-

40:22 Fenix TX Sarah sounds sexy.

40:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead, Sarah.

40:27 Caller Yeah. And my friend would set me up with him, right? And like the second we go out, he takes me to his room, right? And it's no big deal because people do that to me all the time. But then he like whips out his penis without even saying anything. And I just looked at him like, is that it? And he got really offended and well, That's a good comeback.

40:46 Drew I like that.

40:47 Fenix TX That was funny.

40:49 Adam Did you say anything or you just gave me is that it looked?

40:52 Caller I got up off of the bed and I gave him like this weird look and I go, is that it? Just because I was offended because I'm like, okay, does he think I'm that easy? Right?

41:00 Fenix TX Did he say something cool like, suck me beautiful?

41:03 Caller Well, yeah, actually he's like, wait a minute, that's my line.

41:07 Drew What did he say?

41:07 Adam That's a little bitch.

41:08 Caller If it was Adam, I would have given in.

41:10 Drew What did he say?

41:11 Fenix TX There you go. Let me see.

41:12 Adam Thank you.

41:13 Caller No, he said, he said, hey, you, come on.

41:17 Caller And I'm like, no, thank you.

41:19 Caller Just trying to.

41:20 Drew You ought to think about.

41:21 Caller He has a little Italian charm going on because he's like, you and I are Italian, so we should bond.

41:26 Drew Sir, you need to think.

41:27 Fenix TX Do you like multiple?

41:29 Drew Think through whether or not it's a good idea for you to be going into a guy's rooms by yourself.

41:33 Fenix TX Yeah, that sounds kind of faulty right there.

41:35 Drew That's not a great idea.

41:36 Adam First date?

41:38 Caller Yeah, but I'm sweet that way.

41:41 Adam Yeah, that's what it is, sweet.

41:43 Drew Being nice, being sweet is not. Yeah. You don't have to be liked by everybody, you have to please everybody every single turn.

41:53 Caller That wasn't the exact problem.

41:55 Fenix TX What's the problem?

41:56 Adam How old is this guy?

41:57 Caller He's 19.

41:58 Adam I see. Okay.

41:59 Fenix TX How old are you again? How old is she?

42:01 Adam She's 17.

42:01 Fenix TX All right.

42:02 Adam But listen, we hear that little girl voice, and it makes us worry a little bit.

42:06 Drew Sort of.

42:06 Caller Oh, no.

42:07 Adam Anything up with you?

42:08 Caller No, no.

42:09 Adam No raping?

42:11 Caller No, thank you.

42:13 Adam No molesting?

42:14 Caller No.

42:14 Adam No beating?

42:15 Drew No, I don't get that.

42:15 Adam None of that? Just checking. Checking it off the list.

42:18 Drew This is just her.

42:19 Adam Okay. All right. But yet the guy went right for the room and right for the penis.

42:23 Drew She got up and said, think who this happens to.

42:27 Caller Well, I mean, I was out of the-

42:29 Adam The few, the pround?

42:30 Drew The-

42:31 Adam Okay. Yeah. All right.

42:33 Caller Go ahead, sir.

42:34 Drew And then she gets by with the same-

42:35 Adam Okay. Drew, listen.

42:37 Drew We're speaking in code here.

42:39 Caller I'm going to cry.

42:40 Caller I'm not being talked to.

42:41 Adam Go ahead, sir.

42:42 Drew I'm just explaining who you are to Adam, okay?

42:44 Caller Oh, thank you.

42:45 Adam Thank you.

42:45 Caller Adam needs that.

42:47 Adam Yeah. I need to know who everyone is.

42:49 Caller You do.

42:50 Adam Right.

42:50 Caller Yeah.

42:50 Adam All right. So what do you want now?

42:52 Caller No.

42:53 Caller So, right, I get home and then he keeps calling me up and saying, well, you know, my mom's out of town this weekend, you know, you and me. And then he's telling everyone that we did stuff. And I was like, no, we didn't.

43:04 Adam Well, what did you do? Nothing?

43:05 Caller Well, okay. I...

43:07 Fenix TX Oh, here we go.

43:08 Adam Yeah.

43:08 Caller Here we go. Yeah. Okay.

43:10 Caller No. Well, before, the first time, well, you know, he took out his penis, so I was like, no. And then he gets me in the car, right? And well, I end up without any of my clothes on. And then, like, that's about it. And then I just, well, he started coming on to me, so I said no. And then he took me home. And then he gets this whole thing, even though I completely blew him off, that, you know, we have something going.

43:30 Drew The fact that you took your clothes off might be a tip off to him that there was something going on.

43:34 Adam What happened to your clothes?

43:36 Caller They magically fell off.

43:38 Adam I see.

43:40 Fenix TX So this guy pretty much thinks...

43:42 Adam Where do you shop? I got to send all the ladies there.

43:44 Fenix TX So this friend of yours thinks you're slut, pretty much. He was busting out, like, he pulled it out because he thought you were slut and you were going to just go at it.

43:52 Adam Sarah, you're either real cute or fat. Which one is it?

43:56 Caller Really cute, I guess. I'm not fat, so I'll go for this.

43:59 Adam All right. Drew, that seems to bode well with true sensibilities.

44:03 Fenix TX It kind of also seems that she gave him that impression.

44:06 Adam Yeah.

44:07 Fenix TX No. She gave him that impression.

44:08 Caller I had seen him really before and then the second I get there, he keeps going on and how sexy I am.

44:13 Adam All right. Listen, where's your daddy?

44:15 Caller What do you mean? Oh, he's here right now.

44:17 Adam Why? Does he not give you enough attention? Is he a trucker? Is he on the road?

44:21 Caller No. What's up with you?

44:22 Drew He's in a band.

44:23 Caller Not my dad.

44:24 Adam Your mom what?

44:25 Caller My mom. My mom hates me.

44:26 Adam I see. All right. Well, good.

44:28 Drew Why does she hate you?

44:30 Caller I don't know. She's always had this jealous thing going on with me. I don't know what her problem is.

44:34 Drew So you're going to really show her up.

44:37 Adam Hey, listen.

44:37 Caller We have this running competition. I see how many guys I can sleep with. I'm kidding.

44:42 Drew But maybe not sleep with.

44:44 Adam Hey, Sarah. Maybe you're not really kidding. What's up with you that men are such an important issue? I mean, you being seductive.

44:50 Caller I mean, I don't give very many guys the time of day or anything. It's just...

44:54 Adam Yeah, I know. But that's part of the deal.

44:56 Caller What?

44:56 Adam I mean, you're just so preoccupied with men and how they feel about you and your sexuality. I mean, I understand that being a normal part of a 17-year-old's life, but it seems to be the lion's share of your life. It's a pretty big part of your life.

45:13 Drew Not a lot, but who she is.

45:14 Fenix TX Was the story over?

45:15 Adam Yeah, it's like your personnel. You go out, you tease guys, they want you, and now they start talking, and you turn that into some kind of big drama, and now you're like a victim, except for your clothes came off. You didn't take them off, they just came off.

45:30 Fenix TX Was that the end of the story? Were you done?

45:32 Caller No, what?

45:33 Adam And you got that little voice?

45:35 Fenix TX Your clothes fell off, but that was it?

45:36 Caller Yeah, no, no. See, he thought that we had something more going on. I just was tired of putting up the effort. He was like, no, no, no. And then finally I was like, all right, hold on.

45:45 Fenix TX See, this is what I understand.

45:47 Adam No, I do understand very clearly.

45:49 Drew Let me explain what's going on. Was I right about this one?

45:51 Adam No, you're always wrong.

45:52 Drew Come on.

45:53 Adam I don't even, Drew, you speak in riddles. So I have no idea what you're saying.

45:58 Fenix TX What was the?

45:59 Drew He was saying she was beautiful. I said she must be a beautiful woman who fits Adams. You have this sort of pain in the ass theory, remember?

46:06 Adam Yes. Beautiful women are oftentimes a pain in the ass, and they go unchecked because nobody ever pulls them aside and says, hey, tight ass with the big yabos and the beautiful blue eyes, shut your pie hole. They're giving everyone a headache. No one ever straightens these women out. And there's male versions of this too. There are plenty of people out there who just should be pulled aside by some sort of force. Well, some sort of eunuch asexual type that just yank them aside and go, Honey, shut up. You're giving me a headache.

46:42 Fenix TX Adam, seriously, on the road, we do that so often. Oh, good.

46:45 Adam Well, maybe. Let me see where Sarah. Sarah, where do you live?

46:48 Caller Huh?

46:49 Adam Where do you live?

46:50 Caller Los Angeles.

46:50 Adam Okay. Well, the band will swing by after the show and say to shut up, okay?

46:54 Fenix TX We're going to give you a little talking to next time you come see us.

46:57 Adam All right.

46:57 Caller Oh, is that it?

46:58 Adam All right, shut up.

46:59 Drew And she does have this weird, this sort of bizarre relationship with her mom going on that sort of fuels a lot of this in her relationship with her.

47:05 Adam She has that voice. She's a little luring. She's cute and somehow her sexuality is a major, major deal with her. She's calling up tonight to sort of advertise that here's another guy who wanted her, who couldn't have her. It's not really a question. Now he's talking. She teases him. Sarah, this is an issue and you got to look into it.

47:27 Drew It's not real.

47:28 Adam Thank you. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

47:32 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:19 Adam Yeah, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Fenix TX is in here tonight. Damon and Willie are both here representing the band.

48:30 Fenix TX Call us to talk about vagina.

48:32 Adam That's right. Let's talk about vagina, Drew. What'd he say?

48:36 Drew Maybe you could sing a little song about it.

48:37 Adam Oh, yes.

48:38 Fenix TX I like vagina. Vagina is good. I like vagina. It's better than food. I like vagina. Vagina is good.

48:46 Drew Hang on a second, Lindsey.

48:47 Adam Yeah.

48:47 Drew I know your song.

48:49 Adam Oh, yes. My song. Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. I know what goes on in the old vagina. That's why I host the show. Everyone. One of my grandfather, Tom. Lindsey.

49:09 Caller Yeah. I got two questions.

49:11 Adam Neil Puppey.

49:12 Fenix TX We got three answers for you.

49:13 Adam Yes. What's that there, Lindsey?

49:15 Caller I was saying hi, Fenix TX.

49:16 Caller You guys rock. I just saw you guys a couple of weeks ago with Blink.

49:20 Adam Where did you see them?

49:21 Caller I saw them at Long Beach Arena.

49:23 Fenix TX Cool.

49:23 Caller Yeah. You guys are really awesome. I think I only heard one of your songs and I saw you guys rock. You guys really rock.

49:29 Fenix TX Hey, I have a question. Did you get a little moist during the set? Just a little bit. Just a little. That makes us feel so much better.

49:37 Adam Somebody bumped into you and you spilled your beer.

49:40 Caller What's up, Lindsay?

49:42 Caller I have a question with you guys and for Adam and Drew. How did you guys get started with Blink? How did you guys get together and go on tour with them and all that?

49:52 Fenix TX Mark heard our CD and liked it, asked us to go on tour.

49:56 Caller Really?

49:56 Fenix TX Yeah.

49:57 Caller That's cool. That's an awesome opportunity.

49:59 Fenix TX Yeah, totally. We were real happy and those guys are real nice.

50:01 Caller That's awesome. I'm going to ask you, Adam or Drew, whoever, I've listened to you guys like every day for like a year now and I never heard Dave Matthews on your show. You guys got to have them on too.

50:11 Drew That's a good idea.

50:12 Adam I like Dave Matthews.

50:13 Drew And? Dave Matthews?

50:15 Caller They're like my favorite band.

50:16 Drew How come we haven't had them on the show?

50:17 Fenix TX They're good.

50:18 Adam They'll be in tomorrow.

50:20 Fenix TX Just for you.

50:20 Adam Did you see that for me? We have tried to get Dave Matthews on this show and he has not done it.

50:27 Caller Oh, really?

50:28 Adam Yeah. I like Dave Matthews too.

50:30 Caller It's weird. He's really popular, but he's not into the public eye kind of thing.

50:34 Caller He's not on magazines.

50:36 Adam Right.

50:36 Caller I don't know.

50:37 Caller But it would be awesome if he could go on.

50:39 Adam All right.

50:39 Caller Thank you.

50:40 Adam All right.

50:41 Caller Bye.

50:41 Fenix TX We'll work on it.

50:42 Adam Yeah. We'll work on it. Dave Matthews, actually, Dave Matthews is a weird sort of band because everyone seems to like him, but you just don't see him around that much. I mean, you see him perform once in a while, but he does not make the talk show circuit or radio shows or whatever.

50:59 Fenix TX I heard he was bisexual and he's trying to avoid that question. Oh, really? Yeah.

51:03 Adam Well, there you go.

51:04 Drew I was curious how you guys liked doing the webcast we did.

51:06 Fenix TX That was fun. That was good.

51:07 Drew That's interesting.

51:08 Fenix TX It was a different experience. It was way cooler because there was people out there that you could write, that you could actually see.

51:14 Drew This on drdrew.com, that archive is still up there, your show is still up there. People can watch whatever they want.

51:20 Caller Cool.

51:20 Adam Nice segue that drew. Allie?

51:22 Caller Yes.

51:22 Adam You're 16? What's up?

51:25 Caller Okay.

51:26 Caller I lost my virginity like two months ago.

51:30 Caller And like after that, like two weeks after that, I started my period.

51:33 Caller And like a month after that, I started my period.

51:35 Caller And like now, it's like late.

51:37 Caller And I was wondering...

51:38 Drew It's normal for your period to be irregular when it first gets going.

51:43 Adam Three months... Well, what do you mean just gets going? She's probably had her period for three years now.

51:48 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

51:49 Drew I misunderstood what she was saying. Let's say she started her period like really for the first time.

51:53 Adam No, she meant after the sex.

51:54 Drew She came back twice and now it's late. No, there's many other reasons you could have a late period. Be very bizarre to have two periods on schedule and be pregnant. There is such a thing, but it'd be bizarre. You're having no other symptoms, right? No.

52:08 Fenix TX Retrace your steps. Maybe you'll find your virginity again.

52:10 Drew You want any medication?

52:11 Adam Yeah, check under the car seat.

52:13 Drew Any medication? Any medication?

52:16 Caller No.

52:17 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

52:18 Caller Um, not anymore.

52:20 Adam No.

52:20 Caller All right.

52:21 Adam Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but use protection next time, all right?

52:23 Caller I did.

52:24 Adam Oh, you did?

52:25 Caller Yeah, but, like, it's a long story.

52:28 Drew What did you use? What did you use? What did you use?

52:30 Caller Well, we used protection, but there was, like, a little while, where there was no protection.

52:36 Drew I see.

52:36 Caller Okay.

52:37 Adam Okay. All right.

52:38 Caller All right.

52:38 Adam Thank you. All righty. I didn't want to figure that one out. I just assumed the worst.

52:43 Caller Yeah.

52:44 Adam Amber?

52:45 Caller Yeah.

52:45 Adam You're 16?

52:46 Caller Yep.

52:47 Adam Drew, get your chair out from under the console, please. It's rocking the boat. What's up there, Amber?

52:53 Caller I haven't been feeling good for the past, like, five days, and I had a feeling that something was going to be wrong.

53:00 Fenix TX You're pregnant.

53:01 Caller Yeah. And so I took, yesterday, I took a pregnancy test from the store and it was positive, like, instantly. So I told the guy and he was really calm about it and everything. So we went to the doctors today and he wanted a real one. So I went there and it came out positive and he's telling me to have an abortion.

53:21 Caller Who is? A guy.

53:23 Caller Yeah. He said he's not ready. And my, I finally talked to my mom about it and she just said that she wasn't sure and that I should probably have an abortion because she can't handle having another kid right now.

53:36 Drew What about adoption?

53:37 Caller And yeah, that's what I was thinking about. But I know my options and everything, but I know it was my mistake and I should take responsibility for it and I don't think I'd be able to go through with having an abortion. I don't think I'd be able to do that.

53:51 Adam Right.

53:51 Caller And I don't know what to do. I'm.

53:54 Adam All right. Well, there's three, three choices. Abortion, adoption, or you raise a child. Right? All right. So you don't want the abortion. Yeah. How old is the guy?

54:04 Caller He's sixteen.

54:06 Drew No way you can raise a child.

54:07 Caller Seventeen, yeah.

54:08 Adam How old is your mom? Dad's not around?

54:13 Caller Me and my dad aren't getting along right now.

54:15 Drew But he's around.

54:15 Caller Yeah, kind of.

54:16 Drew How old is your mom?

54:17 Adam What do you mean kind of?

54:18 Caller Well, he lives like half hour, four to five minutes away, but we just aren't really getting along.

54:23 Adam I see.

54:24 Drew How old is your mom?

54:25 Caller She's like thirty-nine.

54:26 Drew And how old is your oldest sibling?

54:28 Caller I am the oldest. And then my mom just had a baby.

54:34 Adam She just had a baby?

54:35 Caller Yeah.

54:36 Adam Same teenage guy knocked her up?

54:38 Caller No.

54:38 Adam No?

54:39 Caller No.

54:39 Adam It happens all the time on this show. Is she, you have a, who knocked, your dad knocked her up?

54:46 Caller No, her fiance boyfriend.

54:48 Adam I see. How do you get along with him?

54:51 Caller Oh, I like him. He's nice.

54:52 Adam Oh, okay. How old is he?

54:54 Caller I don't know.

54:54 Caller Maybe he'll raise the baby.

54:56 Adam So you live with the fiance and mom?

55:00 Caller No, I just live with my mom.

55:01 Adam Just your mom and no other brothers or sisters?

55:04 Caller No, two sisters.

55:05 Adam Two sisters. Oh boy.

55:06 Drew Younger and the baby.

55:07 Adam How old, and they're younger. They need to be?

55:09 Caller Four and one, or two months.

55:12 Caller Oh my.

55:13 Adam Two months and she's pregnant again?

55:15 Caller No, that was the baby that she just had.

55:17 Drew How old, oh those are the two.

55:19 Adam Pregnant or something, okay. Alright, they both need to be sterilized immediately, by the way. And your mom as well, by the way. And throw your grandma in while we're at it.

55:29 Fenix TX Tile them tubes.

55:30 Adam Okay, so you have a little time to think about this, but not a whole lot of time. And what about, do you think you could give the child up for adoption?

55:40 Caller Well, if I'm carrying it around for nine months, I don't know if I'm just going to all of a sudden want to give it up. I mean, that's kind of...

55:46 Adam How about you just carry it for four and a half, five months and sit in a little incubator for like three months and then you give it up. What's the difference? What do you say?

55:55 Caller I don't know.

55:56 Drew Amber, you need to decide what's best for the child, not best for you. Yeah. That's the main thing. Two 16-year-old parents are not in a position to raise a child, especially when mom checked out, not willing to help. The child needs parents.

56:07 Adam Let's forget about... Amber, hold on a second.

56:09 Drew Don't put this on your mom. It's not her responsibility.

56:11 Adam Let's forget about what's best for you or best for the child. Let's talk about what's best for me. I'd like you to have the abortion. That would be best for me. What do you say?

56:21 Caller I don't know.

56:22 Adam Really?

56:23 Caller Well, the guy said that if whatever I decided was fine with him...

56:28 Adam The guys always say that because they don't want to freak you out.

56:30 Caller My mom said she just wants me to go down with her tomorrow to talk to the doctors about it.

56:34 Drew Good. We'll go down. Excellent.

56:37 Adam All right.

56:37 Fenix TX Maybe you should take the dude.

56:39 Caller Take him with you?

56:40 Adam No, that's going to be a real long car ride. Real long.

56:44 Caller Okay. Can I say hi to Fenix TX?

56:46 Fenix TX Yeah. Hi.

56:46 Caller Hi. I saw you guys at the Rosalind Theatre in Portland.

56:49 Fenix TX Isn't that amazing?

56:49 Caller And you guys are great.

56:51 Fenix TX You didn't get knocked up that night, did you? Hey, because I remember saying most of the shows, hey, everybody go home and have sex. Yeah.

56:57 Caller And that guy got up on stage and was dancing naked. I remember that.

57:00 Fenix TX Damn.

57:01 Caller I don't know if you remember that. Do you guys know a band named No Face?

57:05 Fenix TX Wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah, we do.

57:07 Adam Hey, Amber. I don't want to cut off the small talk, but you got bigger fish to fry than plug in No Face. All right.

57:14 Fenix TX Take care of yourself with all your stuff. Good luck.

57:16 Adam You make one hell of a mom, isn't it?

57:17 Caller Oh, my God.

57:19 Adam I can see you're like doodling on a peachy folder while our kid was starving in the next room. Listen, you screw balls. People think about what a mess you all were at 16. Even people that are relatively decent shape emotionally.

57:33 Fenix TX Not the right time to have a baby.

57:35 Adam Dr. Drew over here. Drew, what would you have done? I would have used my kid for a door stop when I was 16 or somehow got it caught in the spokes of my bicycle.

57:44 Drew Yeah, I would have used it like for cards.

57:47 Adam I would have clipped my infant to the forks of my bike so it made an interesting sound when I pedaled on my paper at 16. Yeah, that's what I would have done. I can't. Listen, I couldn't have handled a dog at 16.

58:01 Drew We couldn't handle our hair.

58:02 Adam Yeah, that's right. I was trying to force a part in my hair at 16. I had much bigger fish to fry than kids. But the point is, Amber over here, she's in no shape to raise a kid. She's going to screw this kid up. And her mom sounds like a real interesting piece of work, too. Nathan?

58:20 Yeah.

58:20 Adam You're 23.

58:21 Caller That's right.

58:22 Adam Thank God Mom's pushing for the abortion, too. What's up there, Nathan?

58:26 Caller Well, a couple years ago, I traveled around in Thailand and Malaysia. Anyways, I had sex with a few people around there. And I came back and I got in a relationship with a girl. And she kept getting these sores inside her vagina. They were like STDs, it seemed like. But the doctors don't know what it was. They tested us both and neither of us have STDs.

58:54 Fenix TX Maybe she just got a dirty coochie.

58:56 Drew You want one?

58:56 Caller Well, you know, yeah, maybe. But anyways, I'm wondering if it's possible that I got an STD for another country that hasn't been introduced, because I know that can happen.

59:06 Drew Have you had any sores?

59:07 Caller I have nothing, no. The thing is, I know that you can carry things like that and not have them.

59:13 Drew Yeah, in sort of tropical type areas, the thing that is more common than over here is something called shankroid. And there's also lymphogranuloma venerium. These are not easy things to diagnose.

59:24 Caller Yeah, well, I mean, she was to the point where she couldn't even have sex.

59:28 Drew She needs to see an infectious disease specialist. And I don't think you have to worry that it's something that is not ever been seen over here, because there's no such thing right now. But shankroid, LGV, and really herpes is the number one, two, and three possibilities.

59:43 Adam I was sitting around watching the Discovery Channel Friday night, because that's the kind of life I have. And they were talking about these killer bees, and they did a whole thing on insects, killer insects, insects that were destroying the country. Basically, they have these termites over in Louisiana that are going through whole buildings in a weekend. Yeah, like this, right, right. And at the end, they're all sitting holding their bellies using a toothpick. And I just sit there, and they always give the origin of these bugs, and it's always from some place. One of the troublemaking countries. You know what I'm talking about, right? There's some third world dump at these places, and it came over on a cargo ship after World War II, blah, blah, blah.

1:00:33 Fenix TX Monkeys brought it.

1:00:34 Adam I'm sitting there, and I'm thinking, what do we send into these countries? That's what I'm thinking. I mean, they give us termites, we give them famine relief. That doesn't sound like a good deal to me. And I want to start coming up with something and sending it out there. That's all I'm saying. All these horrible bugs that are destroying this country, they all came from somewhere, not here.

1:00:54 Fenix TX We can send them all the stupid people.

1:00:56 Adam Can we send dumb people over there? Yeah. I don't think they notice them over there. I'm talking about an insect. We got to come up with something. I don't think the roach is going to work. I mean, that's been done. We could come up with a good insect. Maybe the potato bug. Send that big ugly potato bug over to Africa. And I think the other, I think the beetle came from like somewhere in, I think it was South America, Southeast Asia. That's right. So would you watch it special too? Or you just know a lot about bugs.

1:01:25 Fenix TX I'm lucky to guess.

1:01:26 Caller All right.

1:01:27 Adam We'll talk to Chris now, who's 15. Chris?

1:01:32 Caller Yeah.

1:01:33 Adam Chris, you can fart on command?

1:01:34 That's right, sir.

1:01:35 Adam Thank God. Do you do that technique where you draw the air in?

1:01:39 Caller Yes.

1:01:40 Adam And then expel it at 250 miles an hour after your anus?

1:01:43 Caller Yeah, I suck it in my anus.

1:01:45 Adam Yes. Anderson.

1:01:46 Fenix TX Can you demonstrate?

1:01:48 Caller Yeah, sure. You want a sample?

1:01:49 Adam Yeah, well, I'd like to hear the air coming in as well.

1:01:51 Drew Wow, just imagine you were one of those old Doppler guns.

1:01:53 Caller Okay.

1:01:53 Drew Second to the speed. Go for it.

1:01:56 Adam The radar gun?

1:01:56 Caller Yeah.

1:02:01 Caller Do you hear it going? No.

1:02:02 Adam No. But we'll take your word for it when it comes out.

1:02:05 Caller Okay. All right.

1:02:08 Caller You want me to fire right now?

1:02:09 Fenix TX Yeah, go ahead.

1:02:10 Adam No, let's just have another 20 minutes of dead air. I'm going to talk about herbal life, all right?

1:02:14 Caller All right, here it comes, right?

1:02:15 Adam Idiot.

1:02:18 Fenix TX That was so fake. Oh, no, wait a minute.

1:02:22 Caller That was a good one.

1:02:22 Adam The follow-up made it real to me.

1:02:24 Caller I think my anus touched the ceiling on that one.

1:02:27 Adam That was pretty solid. That was good. Now, let's have another one.

1:02:31 Caller Okay.

1:02:32 Adam This time, I'd really like to hear the air go in as well, because that really, that's how we know it's real.

1:02:39 Caller Okay.

1:02:40 Adam All right.

1:02:40 Caller Hold on.

1:02:41 Caller All right.

1:02:45 Caller That was the suck in.

1:02:46 Adam Wait a minute. That sounded like you suck it in.

1:02:48 Caller Disqualified.

1:02:51 Caller That was my ass.

1:02:52 Caller All right.

1:02:52 Adam Let's hear it. Let's hear it come out.

1:02:54 Caller All right.

1:02:59 Caller That one was kind of weak. Yeah.

1:03:00 Adam Okay. Hold on a second. This guy is telling the truth, because when you're just taking your mouth and putting it up against your forearm and doing a raspberry, you don't do a weak one. You know what I mean? They're all, they're all a nine on the Richter scale. You don't do it. You see, this is very subtle. But this guy is telling the truth because he had a bad outing and he wouldn't have a bad outing if he had a whoopee cushion or he was just putting the palms of his hands up against his lips.

1:03:28 Fenix TX Now, he's the real McCoy.

1:03:30 Adam This Chris, the first one was spectacular.

1:03:32 Caller Yeah.

1:03:33 Adam Chris.

1:03:33 Caller Yeah.

1:03:34 Adam I think I'm falling in love.

1:03:36 Caller You want another one?

1:03:37 Adam Yeah.

1:03:38 Fenix TX Go for it.

1:03:44 Caller Oh, that's a good one.

1:03:46 Adam That is good.

1:03:47 Fenix TX Always funny.

1:03:48 Adam You must be the most popular guy at your high school.

1:03:51 Caller Oh, I am.

1:03:52 Fenix TX Do you light them on fire, though?

1:03:53 Caller Uh, no, it's just there. I've tried.

1:03:55 Adam Yeah, it's just there.

1:03:56 Fenix TX Don't try that.

1:03:57 Adam You just blow the match out. God bless you for trying.

1:04:00 Fenix TX Don't try that. I knew someone who totally just blew out their butt.

1:04:05 Adam No, they didn't.

1:04:06 Fenix TX Seriously, why? Fire in the anus. Fire in the anus. Burning the inside of their anus.

1:04:12 Adam Who?

1:04:12 Fenix TX I don't know who.

1:04:13 Adam No, see, that's a wives' tale. Let me tell you something.

1:04:17 Drew If it would happen to anybody, given the frequency which Adam engages in that behavior.

1:04:21 Adam I do it all the time. Yeah, so I don't like to hear posers bragging about people they know.

1:04:26 Caller Come on, show off.

1:04:27 Adam I'm the real McCoy.

1:04:27 Caller What's going on?

1:04:28 Caller We got a lighter right here.

1:04:29 Adam Let's see if I can work something up. I can tell you this, and I'm not exaggerating when it comes to lighting the gas, my roommate at the time, the Wheeze, lit a cigarette off of the flame that came out of my ass.

1:04:43 Drew Are you kidding? I've seen some of your products where I swear you could light a fireplace.

1:04:49 Fenix TX That is gross.

1:04:52 Adam Lit a cigarette. Drew, you know it could be done. You've seen what's come out of me.

1:04:55 Drew I've seen what you produce. I honestly, you could stand next to a fireplace and just pow.

1:04:59 Adam Just put some rolled up newspapers and some kettling in there.

1:05:02 Caller The queef.

1:05:03 Drew All right.

1:05:04 Adam Hold on one second. I got to talk to Chris. Chris, you got one more for us for the road.

1:05:09 Caller Okay.

1:05:09 Adam All right.

1:05:10 Caller I'll try and make it a big one.

1:05:11 Adam Yeah, you can do. You know, part of the reason I like this is because Anderson, Engineer Anderson hates it. And it's even better when there's a bitter audience member. I really enjoy it more because Anderson just sits there with that puss on. Look at that puss he's got on over there. He hates it. He hates it.

1:05:40 Fenix TX Keep him on the line. He's jealous.

1:05:41 Fenix TX He's just jealous because he can't do it.

1:05:43 Adam I'll tell you, I was over at my partner Jimmy's house last night singing a little karaoke, a little pizza party over there. And there's one guy, his name is Don Barris, and he cannot stand farting. And everyone else, this is cousin Sal, this is me, this is Jimmy, this is everyone else over there, loves farting in a huge way. And this guy, Don, has such a comical reaction, you know, when someone farts, he's like, oh, oh, come on, seriously, come on. Oh, I can taste it. Oh, Jesus, no, I'm going outside. So this guy now becomes the target. Everyone's ass locks on to Don Barris and they're walking now across the room. Every fart that came out in a five-hour period landed on this guy. So the point is, is if you don't like them, fine, but don't advertise. You'll be like a a-hole magnet. We're going to hear a little something from Fenix TX right now. I think it's an appropriate time. And this one is called Speechless.

1:06:47 Fenix TX Kind of sounds like Chris's idea.

1:10:55 Adam Well, something from Fenix TX, Speechless. Another good song from them. We will take ourselves a little break. Yeah, very upbeat, very peppy. Something I can really tap my toe to, you know what I'm saying? Drew, too lazy to lean up. Drew's decided it's break time again. He was not going to lean forward. Drew, why don't you pop some popcorn? Why don't you put yourself to use? You want some? Yeah, I'd like some. All right. When we come back, then we'll speak to Scott. He's 14 and caught his uncle masturbating to a picture of his 13 year old girlfriend. Let's know how to confront him. Who says she will be dead after this? Hello, who is this?

1:11:39 This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:59 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. Fenix TX is our guest tonight. I'm Adam Corolla, and that is a good buddy. One over 1-800-11-11. And let's speak to Scott. Scott, you're 14?

1:12:14 Caller Yeah.

1:12:15 Adam All right. So you caught your uncle masturbating to a picture of your 13-year-old girlfriend. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:12:22 Caller How old is your uncle?

1:12:24 Adam 12. 22.

1:12:26 Fenix TX What was she wearing in the picture?

1:12:27 Fenix TX Is she naked? No.

1:12:29 Caller She was just wearing, like, this, like, local Chinese-type shirt. Ooh, ooh. Had, like, nice designs on it.

1:12:35 Adam Nice design. Maybe a dragon or two?

1:12:37 Drew You walked in on him doing this? Was it black?

1:12:39 Caller Well, I walked in, he was like, Oh, oh, oh. And so I was like, I walked in, I was like, I'm sorry. Then right after he was done, I went in there, and there's a picture of my girlfriend right there on the sink, and I didn't put it in there.

1:12:50 Caller Was it sticky?

1:12:52 Adam It's on the sink?

1:12:53 Caller Yeah, it was right on the sink.

1:12:54 Drew What was he doing when you walked in? You saw him?

1:12:57 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:12:57 Adam Oh, was he wanking off into the sink?

1:13:00 Caller Yeah.

1:13:01 Adam He was?

1:13:02 Caller Yeah.

1:13:03 Adam Standing over the sink? That's my move. I thought I pioneered that. That son of a bitch.

1:13:08 Caller I was about to suggest it.

1:13:10 Adam I was trying to steal my thunder.

1:13:12 Drew I was going to say nobody would do that.

1:13:14 Adam Listen, hold on a second. First off, the mark of a great champion like myself when it comes to masturbating at least, constant evolving. I keep moving forward. I keep pushing the envelope.

1:13:30 Drew Resiliency. Response to change.

1:13:32 Adam And response to change, right. But also an innovator. Do you see? What worked 10 years ago, 5 years ago in high school, not going to cut it today for me and my penis.

1:13:43 Drew This is where the gerbils come in.

1:13:44 Adam This is why I'm on the vanguard of masturbation.

1:13:47 Drew Vanguard.

1:13:47 Adam I just keep moving forward. I'm a pioneer. I spearhead these things.

1:13:52 Drew That's part of the evolution.

1:13:54 Adam No, I don't use any special lotion, but I have gotten into the sink in recent years. You've got to remember to move your toothbrush, but it's a very nice way to go. Very sanitary, very clean. And the good news is, big mirror right over the sink. Get to look at yourself.

1:14:13 Fenix TX You can watch it come out.

1:14:15 Adam Once in a while I do catch a look at the sweaty brown, everything. I have to immediately close my eyes, get back to business. But yeah, sink. Very viable way to masturbate, Drew. I'm surprised.

1:14:25 Drew I'm just trying to figure out if you can actually see your VCR from the bathroom. I guess you can.

1:14:29 Adam No, I use the sink. Now, see, see, here's the thing too. The VCR is a great way to go. But what about when you're camping? What about if the car breaks down? What about if a plane crash on some deserted island? My point is, is you cannot rely. See, you become weak when you just rely solely on technology. You have to keep it real. Maybe two, three times a week, use the sink, use the memory. You see what I'm saying, Drew? Staying sharp, always training, always thrilling.

1:15:00 Caller Use the imagination.

1:15:01 Drew As far as Scott's uncle goes, I would not confront him. I would be careful with him around young women.

1:15:08 Adam Where did he?

1:15:10 Drew Don't bring your girlfriend over and introduce him. I wouldn't necessarily conclude things about that.

1:15:15 Adam Why are you living with your uncle?

1:15:18 Caller My mom, she's been sick and so, he offered to take me in and he's been real cool. Me and him talked about everything.

1:15:26 Drew Sick with what?

1:15:27 Adam If you talk, you know, sick with what?

1:15:30 Caller Well, I think it's something with her throat, like her thyroid. I'm not sure though.

1:15:38 Adam Where's your dad?

1:15:40 Caller Denver.

1:15:41 Adam Okay.

1:15:41 Drew Why? What do you mean sick?

1:15:44 Caller Oh, like she really can't talk and she gets sick in real weak sometimes.

1:15:48 Caller I wish my mom could talk.

1:15:50 Caller And the doctor recommended I see her somewhere else in case, you know, something might happen to her. And he said it kind of might traumatize me a little bit or something.

1:15:58 Caller Like what might happen to her?

1:16:00 Caller Like, well, she asks to go in the hospital sometimes.

1:16:02 Caller And he thinks that that might-

1:16:04 Caller She's sick. She's sick.

1:16:05 Caller Yeah.

1:16:05 Caller She's just sick.

1:16:06 Caller Well, I already talked to my uncle about it, like a little bit. I asked him when he was doing it with my picture.

1:16:11 Adam Girlfriend's picture, yeah?

1:16:12 Caller Yeah. Well, yeah, he didn't really like tell- he's like, oh, nothing. I didn't put it in there. But he- I like- How did it get in there?

1:16:21 Adam Yeah, but listen, Scott, don't you look at that as a compliment?

1:16:24 Caller Not really when he's that old. I'm kind of worried about him.

1:16:27 Adam He's like 22, right?

1:16:27 Fenix TX I thought you said he was 22.

1:16:29 Caller He volunteers helping, like, at the park, like, picking kids out to play basketball, like a coach there. Yeah.

1:16:39 Fenix TX Everybody.

1:16:40 Caller Well, he, he, I.

1:16:41 Adam Not me. Yeah, but this guy's looking at a 13-year-old girl and he's volunteering at the park. Yeah. Per... All right, so here's the point. What do you do?

1:16:51 Caller Be careful around him, that's all.

1:16:53 Drew Nothing you can do. What's he gonna do? Report this to the police? He has to be very, very cautious around this guy. He makes me worried for him a little bit, for Scott, and he makes me worried for his girlfriend. Just, you know, be careful.

1:17:06 Fenix TX Write all the pictures.

1:17:08 Fenix TX Make sure your girlfriend always wears that shirt to your house so he feels all uncomfortable when he sees her.

1:17:13 Adam What's up with mom? No, I don't know. I'm this close to killing myself.

1:17:17 Fenix TX Thyroid fever.

1:17:18 Drew It's not that, Ryan.

1:17:19 Adam Ryan?

1:17:20 Caller Hey.

1:17:21 Adam You're 17, what's up?

1:17:22 Caller I just wanted to say I have Fenix TX's CD, and it's one of the best CDs I've ever heard.

1:17:26 Fenix TX Cool. Thanks, man.

1:17:27 Caller And I actually have two questions for the guys at Fenix TX.

1:17:30 Fenix TX We have three answers for you.

1:17:31 Caller Okay. Anyways, my first question is, I knew your name was Fenix TX before Fenix, or your name was Fenix X, so how did you come up with that name? And my second question is...

1:17:42 Drew Alright, the name was Fenix TX before...

1:17:43 Fenix TX You mean River Fenix before...

1:17:44 Adam You mean River Fenix?

1:17:46 Caller Yeah, sorry. And my second question is, do you know when your next CD is coming out?

1:17:51 Fenix TX I'll answer the second one first. Hopefully before March of next year, we were supposed to be going into the studio sometime within the next two months, so...

1:17:59 Fenix TX And were you asking how we came out with River Fenix or the other name?

1:18:02 Caller No, Fenix TX, sorry.

1:18:03 Fenix TX Fenix TX we came out with because that's the only thing we could do and we hate that name and it's horrible.

1:18:08 Fenix TX It was Donnie's fault. We came up with all kinds of other cool names, kind of like that along the same lines of River Fenix, like Feverinix.

1:18:15 Adam What happened?

1:18:16 Fenix TX River's Penis.

1:18:17 Adam What happened to the River Fenix thing?

1:18:18 Fenix TX His mother, the estate, gave us a cease and desist order, made us stop using the name. So we had to keep something either River or Fenix, we figured, because people wouldn't know who we were. So we wanted to call it just Fenix, because that's what people called us anyway, like friends and stuff. They were like, well, there's a band called that, you had to put something at the end. So we're like, dude, just put TX, whatever.

1:18:37 Adam Oh, really?

1:18:37 Fenix TX It just ended up being a whole bad scene, and we have the worst name of any band. And we used to have the best name, so I guess it's a good trade, whatever.

1:18:43 Adam Yeah, but you'd be like Schmucker's Jelly with a name like Fenix TX. You've got to be good. Yeah, true, true. Very good. Elizabeth.

1:18:55 Caller Hey, is there any, I have one question. Yeah. Is there any way to take the day after pill like too much, and are there any like side effects to it?

1:19:05 Drew Vomiting is really the only side effect, and there's been international use of this morning after pill, not, are you 46, just the prevent or the plan B?

1:19:14 Caller Well, like, I mean, I've used it twice.

1:19:17 Drew Right.

1:19:18 Caller On two different occasions, and then, like, I take, like, regular birth control, and if I forget to take the regular birth control and have to take it twice in, like, one day, I get really sick and vomit.

1:19:30 Drew Right, so that's what will happen when you take the emergency contraception, too.

1:19:32 Caller Right, I've had that happen, but why does it work off the regular contraception?

1:19:37 Drew Why does it work?

1:19:37 Caller Like, why do I start vomiting off the regular contraception, which I never did before?

1:19:41 Drew Because you double up the dose.

1:19:45 Caller No, no, no, no. Like, before I ever took the day after pill, I had taken the pill, and now that I've taken the day after pill, like months ago, if I ever forget to take my regular birth control, and you double up, yeah, and I double up, I will get sick.

1:20:07 Drew Oh, you want a different pill now?

1:20:08 Caller Nope.

1:20:08 Drew You're on the same pill that you were on years ago.

1:20:10 Caller Yep.

1:20:10 Adam And you used to double up years ago.

1:20:13 Drew Yep.

1:20:14 Adam And it never happened, it never happened before.

1:20:16 Drew Yeah. Hard to say why. You may have more high levels of circulating estrogen or something already, and that's it.

1:20:23 Adam Damn, that sounds smart.

1:20:24 Drew It has nothing to do with the emergency contraception. That I assure you. Okay.

1:20:27 Adam All right.

1:20:28 Drew All right.

1:20:29 Adam Good times, baby.

1:20:30 Drew Her main question was, can you take it too much? And really, the problem with taking it too much is pregnancy. It only works 75% of the time when you do it after the fact.

1:20:41 Adam Okay. So one out every four times, you may get knocked up.

1:20:44 Drew Right.

1:20:45 Adam All right.

1:20:45 Fenix TX I love that name for that pill, Plan B.

1:20:48 Drew You like Plan B?

1:20:49 Adam Yeah.

1:20:49 Fenix TX That's cool. It's like Plan A was, hey, I'm going to try not to get pregnant, but screw that one up. Time for Plan B.

1:20:54 Adam Plan A is, I'm going to see if I can fill your belly button like a reservoir. And then oops, forgot to pull out. Now it's time for Plan B. Now it's time for Plan B. Plan C is you get in that van and head for the border. All right. We will speak to Molly. Hello? Hey guys, that may be a good name for the band.

1:21:19 Fenix TX Plan B.

1:21:20 Adam Plan B.

1:21:21 Fenix TX I think it's actually taken. But it's a wrong name.

1:21:23 Adam Really? You think Plan B is taken? Yeah. How does it work when a name for a band is taken?

1:21:30 Fenix TX Copyright attorney.

1:21:31 Adam It just gets, it gets registered?

1:21:33 Fenix TX Yeah. I guess.

1:21:34 Fenix TX In the trade market, you have to pay some lawyer that's a copyright attorney like thousands of dollars just to go check and see.

1:21:39 Adam Oh, this is good. I'm glad you somehow triggered this memory. I was thinking about the internet. You know those a-holes that buy your names?

1:21:50 Fenix TX Damn the internet.

1:21:51 Adam And with the hopes that they'll sell it back to you sometime?

1:21:55 Fenix TX I know some of those people.

1:21:56 Adam Somebody bought my name, I think it was two years ago or something like that. And if you're listening or anyone knows the person who bought my name, enjoy it. Keep it. I'll give you my goddamn middle name, too, you freak. Keep it. You'll have it the rest of your life. It was the worst of 45 bucks you ever spent your life. I guarantee it. I'll never ever start an internet anything with my name. So enjoy. Ram it up your ass, you big pussy, and enjoy it. Because I'll never ever come to you for it. Ever. As a matter of fact, I'm glad you have it. I don't want it. Thank God.

1:22:33 Fenix TX Damn it. Don't be bitter.

1:22:34 Adam Enjoy.

1:22:36 Fenix TX Sony bought our name one time.

1:22:39 Adam Which name?

1:22:39 Fenix TX The River Phoenix. We didn't even, we just found out about it one day. We're like, what?

1:22:43 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. No, they'll do that. Yeah, you're crazy. Yeah. Well, were you on Sony at the time?

1:22:48 Fenix TX No, no. We didn't even know nothing about those people.

1:22:50 Adam Yeah. It's a great, great slimy business we're in. And it's a...

1:22:55 Fenix TX We had to beat somebody up to get it back.

1:22:56 Adam It's a wonderful individual who buys up people's names and tries to sell it back off. Good. Again, enjoy that name. Enjoy the Adam Carolla name.

1:23:06 Fenix TX Has he tried to contact you to sell it back?

1:23:07 Adam No. I just know somebody checked in to it once and I know it was bought up. And I guess they sit around until you come to them. But it will be a cold day in hell before I want my name back. I don't even want it. I'm changing my name to Alan. Molly?

1:23:22 Yep.

1:23:22 Adam You're 22.

1:23:23 Caller Yep.

1:23:24 Adam What's up?

1:23:25 Caller I have had a lot of sex.

1:23:28 Fenix TX Molly sounds so depressed.

1:23:29 Adam Drew, did anyone buy your Dr. Drew name? Molly. No?

1:23:33 Drew No.

1:23:34 Adam I guess you're not popular.

1:23:35 Fenix TX Molly, were you pissed off? So we just put you back on hold.

1:23:37 Drew No, I actually got it years before we actually set up the website. Before people started doing this stuff.

1:23:42 Adam Very smart. All right, Molly, what do you want now?

1:23:44 Caller Okay. Hi. I've had a lot of sex and I've tried masturbating and the whole nine yard and I have not had an orgasm and I'm 22 years old.

1:23:53 Fenix TX You tried the whole nine yard, huh?

1:23:56 Adam Okay, so.

1:23:57 Caller I'm just wondering what else I should do because I'm really annoyed.

1:24:01 Fenix TX Fruits and berries.

1:24:05 Adam You've never had an orgasm.

1:24:07 Caller Never.

1:24:08 Adam In your entire life?

1:24:09 Caller Nope.

1:24:10 Adam Alone or with a partner?

1:24:12 Caller Right.

1:24:12 Caller Time for Ann.

1:24:13 Adam Yeah. Ann?

1:24:14 Drew Help.

1:24:16 Adam Help, Mrs. Wizard. I'm guessing she'll tell you to hop in the tub, but I'm just playing a hunch.

1:24:20 Caller What has she tried for masturbation? What have you done?

1:24:24 Drew To paraphrase Ann.

1:24:25 Adam Wait, wait, wait.

1:24:25 Drew Molly, what have you tried?

1:24:27 Fenix TX How did we go over to Ann? Is Ann the...

1:24:29 Drew She's the expert.

1:24:29 Fenix TX The pro, the expert masturbator?

1:24:31 Drew It's a little arrogant of men to claim they can help women on this one.

1:24:35 Caller Okay. Well, let's see. Yeah. I've tried the water, the tub, staying the water pressure, the hands.

1:24:45 Caller I think the easiest way for somebody who's never had one is to try a vibrator.

1:24:48 Adam How about a vibrator, Molly?

1:24:50 Caller I tried that too.

1:24:52 Caller Yeah.

1:24:52 Adam How'd that go?

1:24:53 Caller Molly, another question.

1:24:55 Fenix TX During the sex phase, you ever try cunnilingus?

1:24:59 Adam To the oral sex, then?

1:25:01 Fenix TX Have you requested it?

1:25:02 Caller Oral sex? Yeah. I...

1:25:08 Fenix TX There you go. That's what you need, baby. That's what you need.

1:25:11 Caller I feel bad for the guy going down on me.

1:25:13 Caller What?

1:25:13 Drew She said it's nasty.

1:25:15 Adam It's nasty down there?

1:25:16 Caller No. I mean, yeah. I shower every day. I take good care of myself down there.

1:25:21 Caller She's saying she doesn't like to perform.

1:25:22 Caller I feel too badly for the guy who's going down on me because I feel that it's just kind of gross.

1:25:26 Caller If you're unable to relax, then there's no way you will.

1:25:29 Adam Yeah. You have to feel...

1:25:31 Caller It's all a relaxation thing.

1:25:32 Caller Yeah.

1:25:32 Adam You have to take producer Ann's mindset, which is an honor for a man to go down there, that there should be some meter that he feeds change into while he's down there.

1:25:46 Caller Oh, Adam. He's doing the whole lot to you.

1:25:47 Adam That's how you feel. Yes. And yes, Ann yells, Moc Schnell every five minutes and it cracks a whip.

1:25:55 Caller You need some voluntary work there.

1:25:56 Adam It is true that for women, it's such a psychological thing that if you feel that the guy doesn't want to do it or it's a chore or it's nasty or you feel sorry for him, it ain't going to happen. I mean, if you feel like this guy really wants to get down there and can't wait and turns him on, then you're going to have one. And you can tell that Molly's mindset is not conducive to an orgasm whatsoever. So, Molly, you have to lose that mindset. Find a guy, get him down there.

1:26:27 Caller No, I think she needs to try the vibrator again.

1:26:30 Drew How about a boyfriend? We didn't ask her about that. Have a close relationship.

1:26:32 Caller Have a glass of wine.

1:26:33 Drew Oh, Molly.

1:26:34 Caller Just, you know, just really try, just completely relax.

1:26:38 Caller Molly, have you had a boyfriend?

1:26:40 Caller Not a serious one, no.

1:26:41 Drew See, that's the only thing I see I think it's missing in?

1:26:44 Caller Yeah.

1:26:44 Drew Love. Somebody she can really relax with?

1:26:47 Caller Yeah, but I think she's going to have one on her own first.

1:26:50 Drew All right.

1:26:50 Caller That's what I was thinking. I was like, you know, you got to relax.

1:26:53 Drew But some people, some women don't just, it just feels silly to try to do that by themselves. They can't, they can't do it. It doesn't make sense.

1:26:59 Caller Possibly.

1:26:59 Drew You know, and not all women, but some, they need to.

1:27:03 Caller What?

1:27:04 Adam I don't know what that was. I think Anderson dropped something in there. Listen, we got to take ourselves a break. Molly, I agree with both of you. She should pursue the masturbation, but at the same time, see if she can't get herself into a nice long-term relationship and let a man weave his magic down there. I have a technique I call the Velvet Buzzsaw, which always delights the ladies. Alright, we'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back.

1:27:32 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready.

1:28:04 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, Adam Corolla, that is Dr. over there, Fenix TX is the band. What up? All right, now let's see if we can burn through just a few more calls. Laura?

1:28:15 Caller Yeah, hey, what's up, you guys?

1:28:16 Adam Hey, you're 17, what's the question?

1:28:18 Caller Yeah, I wanted to ask, well, first of all, I think Fenix TX, you guys are like the coolest or hella awesome.

1:28:23 Caller I saw you guys a while ago.

1:28:24 Fenix TX Thanks.

1:28:25 Caller And went out and got your CD.

1:28:26 Fenix TX Are you from San Francisco?

1:28:27 Caller Yep. I knew it.

1:28:29 Fenix TX That's hella cool.

1:28:30 Caller How did you know that? Hella, hella, hella, hella.

1:28:33 Adam They say hella out here, don't they?

1:28:35 Fenix TX Yeah, but only the crazy people.

1:28:36 Caller Mainly up north.

1:28:37 Adam I see.

1:28:37 Caller All right.

1:28:38 Caller Okay. Well, and dude, it's crazy. Cause like I got your CD and like even my 50 year old mom likes you guys. Okay.

1:28:44 Fenix TX Cause your mom is cool.

1:28:45 Caller Yeah.

1:28:46 Fenix TX And so are you.

1:28:47 Caller I just wanted to ask like, what kind of music do you guys listen to growing up?

1:28:51 Fenix TX Everything that was on the radio. Tell you the truth. I used to listen to like Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince. The things that you would possibly, you know.

1:28:57 Drew The early 80's stuff.

1:28:58 Fenix TX Early 80's. Everything that was on the radio.

1:29:01 Drew The early 80's was a pretty, again, a sort of fractured time.

1:29:05 Caller Yeah.

1:29:05 Drew You know, when it went Culture Club.

1:29:07 Caller Yeah.

1:29:07 Drew And then Michael Jackson.

1:29:09 Caller All right.

1:29:09 Fenix TX I didn't say I listened to Culture Club.

1:29:11 Caller Come on.

1:29:11 Drew Well, you said everything on the radio.

1:29:13 Adam Yeah. Never on the radio.

1:29:14 Caller All right.

1:29:15 Adam Big fan of Culture Club. Fenix TX was heavily influenced by Culture Club. I can see it on the radio.

1:29:23 Caller Come on.

1:29:24 Caller Come on. Come on.

1:29:24 Caller Come on.

1:29:26 Adam You come and go.

1:29:28 Fenix TX All right. OK.

1:29:29 Adam Jeff.

1:29:31 Fenix TX Yeah.

1:29:31 Adam You're 14.

1:29:32 Caller Uh-huh.

1:29:33 Adam What's up?

1:29:34 Caller Oh, nothing much.

1:29:35 Caller All right.

1:29:36 Caller Cool.

1:29:36 Fenix TX Talk to you later.

1:29:37 Adam OK.

1:29:38 Caller No way.

1:29:38 Caller What?

1:29:42 Caller I'm sorry.

1:29:43 Fenix TX You're my favorite so far.

1:29:44 Caller Thanks.

1:29:45 Caller Oh, first of all, I just want to say Adam, you're my idol.

1:29:49 Caller I love you.

1:29:50 Caller Thank you.

1:29:51 Caller You're so cool.

1:29:52 Caller Thank you.

1:29:52 Caller You crack me up, man.

1:29:53 Adam Thank you.

1:29:54 Drew You love fun here on Pot, huh, Joe?

1:29:56 Caller Huh?

1:29:58 Adam That's a perfect answer.

1:30:00 Caller All right.

1:30:00 Adam Listen, this question is, can masturbation make your penis longer? And the answer is no. God knows it's no.

1:30:07 Drew Yes.

1:30:08 Adam Believe me. Believe me. I would have a tremendous penis if that was true.

1:30:13 Drew Pot might make it a little smaller.

1:30:16 Adam Is that a... Chasey?

1:30:18 Fenix TX Did you just say really?

1:30:19 Adam Chasey, you're 16.

1:30:20 Caller What's up?

1:30:21 Caller Well, my dad, he had an affair with my half-sister.

1:30:25 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy behavior.

1:30:28 Fenix TX Your half-sister.

1:30:29 Drew Wait, wait. How does this all fit together?

1:30:31 Caller Okay.

1:30:32 Caller She's his stepdaughter.

1:30:34 Caller Right.

1:30:35 Caller And then they won't tell me exactly what happened.

1:30:38 Drew That's not an affair. That's sexual abuse.

1:30:41 Caller She was old enough and she hit on him.

1:30:43 Adam How old? Oh, she hit on him. Well, that's different. How old was she?

1:30:48 Caller I, in her 20s, 26.

1:30:51 Drew Something else happened to her growing up to make her be that.

1:30:53 Adam In her 20s. And were they all living together? Were you guys all living together at the time?

1:30:57 Caller I don't know when this happened.

1:30:59 Adam I see.

1:30:59 Caller I think it happened like three years ago, which we weren't living together.

1:31:03 Adam You weren't living together.

1:31:03 Caller How did you find out about it?

1:31:05 Caller She had written a letter to my dad recently. Well, not recently, but in the last year or so.

1:31:10 Caller She did what?

1:31:10 Caller She wrote a letter to my dad. And she was talking about something that had happened. And my mom was leaving his e-mails to clean it out. And she read it and she was like, okay. So she got pretty upset. And then she had asked him for three years straight if anything was going on.

1:31:30 Adam That's her mother, right? Yes. But not your mother, your stepmother.

1:31:34 Caller She's my mom. I live with both my parents.

1:31:37 Adam Different dads. Oh, different dads.

1:31:38 Caller Yeah, different dads.

1:31:39 Adam Okay.

1:31:40 Fenix TX So what's the problem?

1:31:41 Caller Well, he keeps getting upset with me because I don't listen to him.

1:31:45 Drew Is this your dad?

1:31:46 Caller Yes.

1:31:47 Fenix TX Because you don't listen to him as far as like he wants you to and now you don't want him.

1:31:49 Adam Wait a minute. It's her dad and her mom.

1:31:52 Caller But it's her half sister.

1:31:53 Adam Her half sister.

1:31:54 Drew I mean, there was another dad that intervened before this dad.

1:31:58 Fenix TX I had the sister.

1:31:59 Caller All right.

1:32:00 Caller It's my mom and my mom's ex-husband.

1:32:02 Drew You need to diagram these families in order to figure out.

1:32:04 Adam You know what we need? There's a big war room type thing where there's, you know, they slide the dad over. Then I would slide the half sister over. Then we'd have a, we'd check the huge house diagram that was up on the wall. Then we put the dad on top of the half sister. He put a question mark over my head. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. So what are we going to do?

1:32:28 Caller Well, because he keeps getting upset with me because he keeps telling me that this is what I should do and what I shouldn't do.

1:32:33 Drew As far as what?

1:32:34 Caller As far as anything.

1:32:35 Drew Well, that's his dad. That's his job. Right?

1:32:38 Caller Yeah, but he always gets upset with me because I screw up one way and I could...

1:32:43 Drew Look, you've lost respect for him. That's one thing.

1:32:45 Caller I told him that. I said, dad, I have no respect for you. And this is recently...

1:32:49 Drew Yeah, but it's in your best interest to have a functioning parent. Even though you've lost respect for him...

1:32:57 Fenix TX You can't be mad at dad because he's not your sister.

1:32:59 Drew You need a parent. You need a dad. And it's a good thing he's at least trying to do that.

1:33:02 Fenix TX That just sounds so wrong, though.

1:33:04 Caller I told him that if he wanted me to do something, to tell my mom and have her tell me.

1:33:08 Adam All right. Hey, hold on.

1:33:11 Drew You're playing games, Chacey.

1:33:12 Adam Listen, you little goofball. I got 15 seconds left with you. What your dad did was inexcusable. Fine. Put it aside. You got about a year and a half, two years left under the same roof with him. Don't piss the warden off. It's not a great strategy. It's a horrible strategy. You understand? I know you're angry. I know you're embarrassed. I know you got a lot of stuff going on in your head. Just play it cool for a couple of years, then go off to college, then turn lesbian. That's how you can get back at him. Okay?

1:33:43 Caller Thank you.

1:33:44 Adam We'll take a break.

1:33:45 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:34:22 Drew Oh, my God, we've learned something extraordinarily startling about Adam that we will discuss tomorrow night in, yeah, by the way, some we can't say on the radio. We'll discuss in great detail tomorrow night.

1:34:33 Adam All right, we good? Is there any dignity left to bring in a moment?

1:34:40 Drew Please, this is important info. The world needs this.

1:34:43 Adam Go out and get that Fenix TX CD, y'all. Thanks, you guys. Good seeing you again, as usual. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:53 Caller Suck me beautiful.

1:34:56 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, July 16, 2000