Episode 1000754887248

4:53 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

4:56 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

5:00 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

5:02 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

5:04 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

5:06 Voiceover Loveline.

5:09 Adam Hey, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest is Nick Hexum from 311. 311, who I saw Saturday night at the Anaheim Pond and who I very much enjoyed.

5:31 Drew Well, thank you.

5:32 Adam Now, try to talk a lot because I just played full court basketball for the first time in three years.

5:38 Drew With whom?

5:40 Adam Bunch of deviants from the Valley. Guys I went to high school with.

5:43 Drew Oh my God.

5:44 Adam And I haven't played basketball since the morning show played the Midgets three years ago.

5:51 Drew These guys have been playing basketball and softball for the last 20 years.

5:54 Adam Jesus Christ.

5:55 311 Full court no less.

5:56 Adam Full court just running up and down there with a bunch of half breeds. Like an idiot. And I swear to God the last time I played basketball was against Midgets. And they won. At the buzzer.

6:11 311 That's like Kaufman-esque right there. Like wrestling women.

6:15 Adam I swear to God that we played Midgets. It was a Midget basketball team. It wasn't just random Midgets. Because we probably could have beaten just random Midgets. But the morning team, the K-Rock, Kevin and Bean morning team played the LA. Breakers, I think they were. First off, Midgets cheat. I don't know if you guys are aware of that. They have to.

6:36 Drew You're, you're, you're, that's a, it's a stereotype, stereotyping.

6:41 Adam They cheat, but they have to, and who's going to call them on it? But here's the deal. The, we were winning by one point with about 30 seconds left. They came down, missed a shot, and at the buzzer, and I'm not using any hyperbole here, no exaggeration whatsoever. A Midget let the ball fly from top of the key with no time. I mean, the clock expired while the ball was in the air. We were, they were down by one, and he drained it.

7:10 Drew Top of the key of their own basket, not the back court.

7:13 Adam No, a Midget couldn't roll a ball that far, you idiot. Drew, don't crap on my story. It's good enough the way it is. Jesus, do you see how he undermines me? All right. Let's... Now, 311 hasn't been in here in some time. Is that true? It's been...

7:31 Drew Six years?

7:32 Adam No, I've been here. I was here when 311 was here.

7:36 311 We first did it six years ago, and then it was with Doug the Slug.

7:40 Adam Right.

7:40 311 And then with Poor Man. Poor Man?

7:43 Adam Yeah. Right.

7:44 311 And then they did it without me, and I think with you here.

7:47 Adam Yeah, that was like two and a half, three years ago. But that was... Nick was not here. The band was flying solo. All right, so let me get the plugs in for the band, and then we'll get to the calls. I'm telling you, I'm lightheaded, Drew. I need you to jump in here.

8:04 311 Full court.

8:06 Drew I'm going to read those dates. I can manage that for you, Eddie.

8:08 Adam Look at me, I'm still sweating.

8:10 Drew I'll read the dates for you, I will.

8:11 Adam Jesus Christ, my crotch is drenched. I just took a leak in there. It's a mess.

8:16 Drew You sure is.

8:17 Adam It's a mess. Thank God, I took a big scoop of talc. I don't sprinkle talc anymore. I use one of those big spoons they use at the country store for grain.

8:27 Drew Ladle.

8:27 Adam And just poof.

8:29 Drew You've made any paper mache statues down there yet?

8:31 Adam I made a giant matzo ball.

8:32 Drew Oh, nice. Gold bond medicated out of it. Now the 26th, they'll be at Cox Arena in San Diego. The 28th, Cow Pal in San Francisco. 31st, the Salt December dates. The Forum in Los Angeles. And those three dates will be with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

8:43 Adam All right.

8:44 Drew They will then, relax. They will then tour Hawaii and Japan in January.

8:49 Adam All right, don't read it verbatim. We don't have anyone listening in Japan.

8:52 Drew They will headline a US tour February 20th, April 2nd.

8:54 Adam Okay, and we're going to hear something off of the CD sound system before the night is over. Actually, we'll hear a couple of things off the CD. All right, we go in here, Drew? Diana?

9:04 Yeah.

9:04 Adam What's up?

9:06 Well, I was wondering, I was raising a real Catholic family, and I'm wondering how to talk to my mom about getting birth control, because I'm a 16-year-old, and I'm a virgin, and it's really hard to talk to my mom about this stuff. And it's not that I don't trust myself, it's that I don't trust the guy.

9:28 Drew Do you have to talk to her about it?

9:30 Um, well, I'd rather talk to my mom and go to a clinic or something.

9:35 Drew Okay, all right. Does she have any problem with the use of contraception? You know, some Catholic, people of Catholic faith have issues with that.

9:42 Um, well, yeah, I think she does. She wants me to wait until I'm married, and I don't know if I can.

9:49 Drew To have sex?

9:50 Yeah.

9:51 Drew Why not? Just out of curiosity?

9:53 I don't know.

9:54 Drew You don't want to wait till you're married, you mean?

9:55 311 You got urges.

9:57 Drew You don't want to wait till you're married, huh?

9:58 Well, I don't know if I can. I mean, I don't trust guys that well.

10:05 Drew All right, well, then you shouldn't be alone with guys.

10:06 Adam Hold on a second. She sounds a little wack this Diana. I'm betting something happened to her.

10:13 Drew What?

10:14 Adam She keeps saying, I don't trust guys. I don't trust guys. Like she's like.

10:18 Drew Yeah, but she's been she's been raised with the guys of the devil, guys of the devil stuff.

10:21 Adam Really?

10:22 Drew Which they are.

10:23 Adam But you get raised with the guys of the devil thing. You usually end up blowing the devil by the 7th or 8th grade.

10:29 Drew This is her plan. You understand?

10:30 Adam Yeah, but she hasn't done it yet. Imagine how much that would burn, blowing the devil. You know what I mean? It'd be like.

10:37 Drew Better than blowing by the devil, I guess.

10:39 Adam Yeah, but it'd be like putting your mouth on just a hot exhaust pipe. I mean, imagine blowing the devil. It'd be like a backfire from a van. It'd be horrible. Yeah, I'd never do that, Drew.

10:51 Drew No, let's talk to her.

10:52 Adam All right.

10:53 Drew I'm glad to hear you wouldn't, by the way.

10:55 Adam Diana? Yeah? Why do you have such distrust of men?

11:00 Well, one time, the only time I was actually really close to having sex was with this guy when I was 13. And he wanted to do it down in the basement.

11:17 Adam How old was he?

11:18 He was 17. And he was, my mom and my brothers, and my dad were upstairs, and I didn't want to do it.

11:29 Adam All right. How are you doing with your dad? You like him?

11:33 Yeah.

11:34 Adam Yeah.

11:35 He's a little girl. Of course they like him.

11:38 Adam I'll tell you again. I mean, can you just hear the sort of violins in the back?

11:42 Drew Is it a violin or a... No, no, no. Not that violin.

11:48 Adam No, the other violin. Psycho. Thank you. Screech, screech. Don't worry. When the show's edited, down to its half hour form, this is all going to flow together nicely. Do you have the ee-ee-ee? That's a violin, isn't it?

12:05 Drew I don't think of it as a violin.

12:06 Adam I know. But how else would I describe it?

12:08 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

12:09 Adam Psycho thing.

12:09 Drew Diana?

12:10 Yeah?

12:11 Drew If you don't want to have sex, why are you afraid that that's going to happen to you?

12:19 Well, a lot of my friends have been raped a lot, and one of them by her stepfather and...

12:25 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

12:27 Drew Being raped by a family member is an awful thing, but those people...

12:32 Adam A lot of my friends have been raped a lot?

12:34 Drew When that happens to somebody, they then become good victims to other victimizers too.

12:38 Adam You guys know what I'm talking about? There's something going on here with Diana.

12:41 Drew She's schizoid. It was like a detached quality.

12:44 Adam You can't whisper on the radio. She's like, she's schizoid. She's telling me what...

12:51 311 Technically speaking.

12:52 Adam Hey, Diana.

12:54 Yeah.

12:54 Adam You want any medication?

12:56 No.

12:56 Adam No. And nobody ever raped you?

12:59 No, but they tried.

13:01 Adam All right. And you fought them off?

13:04 Yeah.

13:04 Adam Good girl. And you like your dad?

13:08 A lot.

13:08 Adam A lot. And...

13:09 I wouldn't trade him in.

13:11 Adam And your brothers are good and everything?

13:15 Yeah, but they beat the crap out of me if they found out I ever did anything.

13:19 Adam All right. But they never beat the crap out of you just because?

13:23 Well, sometimes, but that's a whole different subject.

13:26 Adam All right.

13:27 Drew Not really.

13:27 Adam Well, anyway, Diana, don't tell your mom you're planning on having sex. If you think you're going to have sex, go get on the pill and be careful. All right?

13:38 311 What about condoms? You know, it's like...

13:41 Adam Yeah, how about...

13:41 311 You might as well just get used to that because if you, you know, sensitize yourself to not using a condom, then once you want to use condoms, it'll be too rough. And, you know, there's other things to worry about besides pregnancy.

13:52 Adam So why don't you get a few condoms, too? And don't leave them anywhere your mom can find them, okay?

13:59 Well, okay.

14:00 Adam There you go. That's it. Good luck. Okay. Bye.

14:04 All right. Oh boy.

14:05 Adam She, she had a energy to her that I picked up on pretty early. That was a sketchy one. Terry?

14:13 Yeah.

14:13 Adam You're 19.

14:14 Caller Uh-huh.

14:15 Adam What's up?

14:16 Caller Well, I'm a model and my husband is a truck driver and he's...

14:20 Adam Hold on.

14:21 Caller Older than I am.

14:22 Adam Well, what kind of, what kind of modeling are you doing that you married a truck driver?

14:26 Caller I'm a promotional model.

14:27 Caller I do TV commercials and promotional modeling. Nothing naked.

14:34 Adam TV commercials. You're talking about local stuff like Jack Tiano, bartending school and stuff like that.

14:43 Caller Yeah. You know.

14:44 Adam Yeah. That's not doing TV commercials.

14:46 Caller Well, you know, anyway.

14:48 Adam Just because it's on a TV, don't make it a TV commercial.

14:51 311 Oh, it does, too.

14:52 Adam No, it doesn't. All right.

14:54 Caller All right.

14:55 Adam All right. So you're modeling.

14:56 Drew You're a model to me.

14:57 Adam And you married a truck driver and he's driving a truck. Hey, Drew, you remember that local commercial, Wally Thorpe School of Trucking?

15:06 Drew Yes. Learn how to do a three-point turn. They show the truck.

15:10 Adam Wally Thorpe would show up and he'd go, In 1964, $10 bought this many groceries and he'd hold a bag out. Then he'd go, Now, in 1977, it buys this many. And he'd just hold like a carton of milk or something. Do you remember that? So get to trucking. You don't remember Debbie Duteson either?

15:29 Drew Yeah, Duteson, sure.

15:29 Adam You sure?

15:30 Drew I had to go to Duteson.

15:31 Adam I was this close to being a trucker.

15:32 Drew I had to go to Duteson Drive School.

15:33 Adam Trucking school?

15:34 Drew Driving school. They had a driving school.

15:35 Adam Oh, that's pathetic. Terry, so what's your question?

15:39 Caller OK, here's the deal. We've been together four years now, right? And before, we used to have like wild kinky effects like four or five times a day. I mean, like in the sleep.

15:49 Drew Excuse me. Wait, hold on. Stop. When you were 15?

15:52 Caller Yeah.

15:54 Drew And he was 33?

15:56 He was 35.

15:57 Drew He was 35 then?

15:58 Caller Yeah.

15:59 Drew All right. Doesn't anybody else like react to that?

16:03 Caller His mother did at first, but now she's over it.

16:06 Drew Well, I'm not over it. I'm not over it.

16:08 Caller Oh, well, you know, it took a while to adjust. But now...

16:11 Drew It's not an adjustment. There's no adjusting to what he is. Okay? He is the guy. He's the 35-year-old guy having sex with a 15-year-old. That's who he is. And whatever you describe next is going to be we're looking at him through those glasses.

16:27 Okay.

16:29 Caller And now that it's been a while, okay? It's like in bed, at night, with the lights off, totally boring.

16:39 Drew Yeah, you're not 15 anymore.

16:41 Adam Yeah, it's all that pubic hair getting in the way. Plus, he's probably punishing you for losing your retainer again. Where did you meet this guy when you were 15?

16:53 Caller I met him in Greeley, Colorado.

16:55 Adam Oh, okay. That answers my question.

16:57 311 Can I say one thing? Greeley, Colorado, they have the blood boiling there and it smells.

17:02 Caller But see, he was from Montana.

17:04 311 Does Greeley smell, my dear?

17:05 Caller I thought it did.

17:06 311 Greeley smells. Of what?

17:08 Adam There's a rendering plant there or something?

17:10 311 It's a whole big slaughtery house.

17:15 Adam Hey, Terry, when I say where do you meet somebody, like, Drew, if I said to you, where did you meet your wife?

17:25 Drew The United States.

17:26 Adam California, more specifically?

17:28 Drew California, yeah.

17:28 Adam Do you think I would be satisfied?

17:30 Drew Southern California, actually.

17:32 Adam Now, it's all become more clearly, you idiot. Jesus Christ, Colorado.

17:41 311 You're losing a sponsorship right there.

17:43 Adam So where did you meet him?

17:46 Caller Okay, we met at a slaughter factory for cattle.

17:54 Adam I'm going to kill myself, man.

17:56 311 And the smell was an aphrodisiac, one thing led to another.

17:59 Adam Oh, my God. What were you doing there? You were 15.

18:04 Yeah.

18:06 Caller I was like with this other guy and he tried to like beat the crap out of me at the bar one night. And I'm like...

18:12 Drew What were you doing at the bar at 15?

18:15 Caller We were shooting pool.

18:16 Adam Where's your parents?

18:16 I was shooting pool.

18:18 I was 16 and I was away.

18:20 Adam What do you think she was doing, praying?

18:22 Drew Come on.

18:23 Adam She was tilting a few and playing video poker. Jesus, Drew. What are you doing at the bar? What are you, some kind of idiot?

18:30 Drew 15, Terry. What was happening at home that you needed to get out like that at 15?

18:36 Caller One of my friends were found dead in a snowbank and stuff. It was like there's this really weird shit going on. So I decided that it'd be better for me if I just left.

18:48 Drew Left home?

18:48 Adam All right. Hold on. Let me just do a little recap here.

18:51 Drew Yeah.

18:52 Adam Greeley, Colorado is where she met the trucker. She's doing a little modeling.

18:58 Drew For the local Ford dealership.

19:01 Adam Maybe Ford. I'd say it's a local, probably John Deere. She met the guy at a rendering plant or slaughterhouse in Colorado. The night before she was at a bar.

19:14 Drew Shooting pool. Shooting pool.

19:16 Adam Her boyfriend took a swing at her and she knew it was time to fly the coop when she found one of her friends dead in a snowbank.

19:25 Drew Another 15-year-old.

19:28 Adam I don't know. Where the hell was she when she said her line 8?

19:32 Drew 8, yeah.

19:33 Adam Terry? Yeah. But something, where's your dad? What did he do to you?

19:38 Caller Nothing.

19:38 Adam Nothing? Come on.

19:40 Caller Absolutely nothing.

19:41 Adam Well, yeah, because-

19:41 Caller I got divorced when I was like in fifth grade.

19:43 Adam Because you don't know him.

19:44 Drew And why did they separate?

19:46 Caller My mom said that my dad was a jerk and constantly lied to her and-

19:50 Drew About what?

19:51 Caller Everything.

19:53 Drew Okay.

19:53 Adam And why did you run away though? Seriously. Your friend died in a snow bank, so you ran away?

19:59 Caller Well, and it was just the whole town was totally messed up. It was just there were total rumors and stuff going around about me and I was done. I couldn't take-

20:08 Drew What was the rumor about you?

20:10 Caller Everything that-

20:11 Drew That you dated 35-year-olds or?

20:13 Caller Yeah.

20:13 Drew Oh, that's quite a rumor.

20:15 Caller That I was taken to truck drivers.

20:17 Adam Okay. Hey, Terry. Yeah. Somebody must have done something to you though, right? No.

20:23 Caller I've never had any traumatizing things happen.

20:26 Adam Really?

20:26 Drew Nobody ever smacked you around your kid?

20:28 No.

20:28 Adam How did you get the way you are?

20:31 I don't know.

20:32 Adam All right. Well, once in a while, somebody breaks through and does it on their own. You've managed to do that. All right. Hey, Terry. Listen, we spent way too much time on you, and I know we haven't even answered your question.

20:44 Drew She hasn't even asked a question.

20:45 Adam Well, she wants to know why the lovemaking isn't what it was, because this guy is-

20:51 Drew Into young teenagers.

20:53 Adam You're getting too long in the tooth for him. You're ripe old 19.

20:57 Oh.

20:58 Adam You see what I mean?

20:59 Oh.

21:00 Drew He's a jerk. He's a criminal.

21:02 Adam He's a criminal.

21:03 Drew Asshole.

21:04 Adam Thank you. Terry, don't you know this guy's a criminal in an a-hole?

21:08 Caller Well, technically, sorry that he was.

21:10 Adam Yeah, but he's not a good guy, is he?

21:12 Caller Well, you know, I also told him I was older than 15, so.

21:16 Adam Okay, Terry, please don't have any kids.

21:20 Well, that already happened.

21:22 Adam Do you have kids?

21:23 Caller We have a son together.

21:24 Adam All right. That son should be taken away from you. Do you understand?

21:27 Caller From me?

21:28 Adam Yes.

21:29 Caller I'm a perfectly good mother.

21:30 Adam No, you're not. That son should be taken away. I wouldn't trust you to raise a squirrel. I'd be scared the squirrel would rob someone at a mini-mart.

21:38 Caller But see, you know.

21:39 Adam I really would.

21:40 Caller No.

21:40 Adam All right. Listen, don't you screw that kid up. Do you hear me?

21:44 Caller I'm not going to screw my kid up.

21:45 Adam All right. And don't have any more kids, please. I'm trying to get along here.

21:51 Caller Okay. I have turned my entire life around. It is totally different than four years ago.

21:55 Adam Thank you. Good. As far as the lovemaking, I don't know. Try talking to the guy. But I don't trust him because he's a criminal.

22:01 Drew Yeah. We don't put anything past him.

22:05 Adam How do you try to bring this guy around? He was 35 and dating a 15-year-old. What is there to say to him? Yeah. You know what I mean?

22:12 Drew What do you appeal to?

22:13 Adam Yeah. There's nothing. There's nothing there. The guy, it's like, you know, telling Manson, Yeah. Come on, buddy. You know, use some logic, you know. Come on. Use your head, Charlie. Mike? Yeah. What's going on? You're 17.

22:29 Caller Yeah. Well, first of all, I'll just say 311. You guys rock. Well, thank you. They do.

22:34 Adam Yeah.

22:35 Caller Adam, the last time that I called you, you had a big influence on me. You called me a terrorist a-hole. So that's my online handle now.

22:42 Adam A terrorist?

22:43 Caller Yeah.

22:44 311 What did you call him? He didn't mean it as a compliment, I bet.

22:47 Caller I know. It was pretty cool.

22:49 Adam Why did I call you that?

22:50 Caller Huh?

22:51 Adam Why did I call you a terrorist?

22:52 311 You make bombs or what?

22:53 Caller No, I got expelled from high school for threatening a teacher.

22:56 Adam Oh, that's right.

22:57 Caller All right.

22:59 Drew That's just a factual name at that point.

23:02 Adam Well, what's up?

23:06 Caller I'm afraid that I might end up like the guy that was talked about in the last caller. I'm attracted to really young girls.

23:14 Drew How young?

23:18 Caller Anywhere between 11 and 14.

23:21 Adam Wow. See, that's weird when you're 17 because when you're 17, you should be in the 18 year olds.

23:29 Caller That's the thing.

23:30 Adam I mean, actually, when you're 17, you're supposed to have a hard on for the chicks who are on like Beverly Hills 90210. You know, the chicks are like 23. I mean, it's supposed to be into the chicks you see on TV.

23:43 311 With the curves and everything.

23:44 Adam Right.

23:44 Caller Those chicks are the ones that turned me off.

23:46 Drew Why?

23:47 Caller Anything with like big boobs or, you know.

23:49 Adam Oh, hey. Jesus, Mike. Come on, buddy.

23:54 311 He's never heard that before.

23:55 Adam Just think a little before you talk, would you?

23:58 Caller I can't help it. I'm a sick boy.

24:00 Adam You don't like big boobs. What else don't you like?

24:04 Caller I don't know. Just a mature attitude. They don't even have to be actually that age, but if they act like it, it's a turn on for me.

24:12 Drew Sounds like people that are arrested in their development somewhere.

24:15 Caller What was that?

24:15 Adam Listen, there's plenty of 18, 19-year-olds who are idiots. You know what I mean?

24:21 Caller Yeah.

24:22 Adam You've got to come out to LA. Where are you calling from?

24:25 Caller Riverside. I was born in LA.

24:28 Adam Come back.

24:28 Drew He likes... This is how he sesses out his victims.

24:31 Adam Right.

24:32 Drew A 19-year-old who seems like a 12-year-old. Ah, victim.

24:34 Adam Well...

24:35 Drew Stuck in development.

24:36 Adam But where does he get this from? Mike, where do you get this from?

24:41 Caller That's what I wasn't sure about, because my dad married my mom when she was 17. He was in his 20s.

24:48 Adam Yeah.

24:49 Caller And my grandfather married my grandmother when she was...

24:52 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not thinking the right way at all.

24:54 Caller Oh.

24:54 Adam No, something in your upbringing. It's not a lineage thing. It's like an upbringing thing.

25:00 Caller Well, my first sexual experiences were at the age of like 6 and 7.

25:05 Drew Okay. There you go.

25:06 Adam Yeah, that's better.

25:07 Drew There you go. What happened? By the way, those are not qualified as sexual experiences. That's overt abuse, molestation.

25:15 Caller Yeah. Well, I used to... My parents would work all day. So when I got out of school, I'd go to the neighbor's house. It was only me and her and she was also my age. We were both in the same class and everything. We were really good friends. Her brother had left some pornos around some videos. We watched them and we experimented.

25:38 311 Imitated.

25:39 Caller Things led from there.

25:40 Adam All right.

25:41 Drew There you go.

25:42 Adam So there's where to focus.

25:43 Drew But that's why you're stuck there. That was traumatizing for you. That precocious sexual activity stuck you there. So your whole sexual identity become focused on the girl that you were with when you were six. So you're focused on six-year-olds. Right. If you want to really screw up, damage people for the rest of their life, do something to a six-year-old. You sooner kill them than the, you know what I'm saying?

26:06 Would you agree?

26:07 Adam Yes. Absolutely.

26:09 All right.

26:09 Drew Let's contain this and get some help with it if you need.

26:11 Adam I just want to take a big brass call and then we'll go to Brian. Sandra?

26:14 Hello?

26:15 Adam You're 16?

26:16 Caller Yeah.

26:16 Adam You're 5'2, 120 pounds?

26:18 Caller Yeah.

26:18 Adam You want to reduce your breast?

26:20 Caller Yeah, without going through surgery.

26:22 Adam All right.

26:23 Caller First, I want to say, hi Nick, I love you so much. I love you so much.

26:28 311 Well, thank you.

26:29 Caller I think you're the hottest thing on earth. Okay, anyway, yeah, I wanted to...

26:34 Adam I'm glad you said it before I did, because I was going to burst. So, how large are your breasts?

26:43 38C.

26:44 Adam 38C? Hold on a second. That's a bad sign, boys. You don't want the big number and the smaller letter. You want the smaller number and the bigger letter. Know what I'm saying?

26:54 311 Okay.

26:54 Adam You want like the 34DD, you don't want the 42C.

27:00 311 Right.

27:00 Adam See what I'm saying?

27:01 311 Yeah.

27:01 Adam That means a lot of back but not so much cup. All right. But she's yours, right, Nick? Let's get back to 16. Sandra?

27:10 Yeah?

27:12 Adam 38C?

27:13 Yeah.

27:13 Adam All right. So doesn't that just mean sort of a lot of back and shoulder?

27:18 Drew Well, if she wants to know how to lose breast size without surgery, she's got a strategy right there.

27:24 Adam I mean, how big are the breasts themselves?

27:27 Really big.

27:29 Adam Oh, really?

27:29 Caller Yeah.

27:30 Adam But are you a stocky girl?

27:34 Caller No.

27:35 Adam A little bit?

27:37 Caller Probably. I don't know.

27:38 Adam Well, 5'2, 120, but I'm going to do the radio math here and make that 5'1, 135, right?

27:47 Caller I figure. I guess. I don't know.

27:49 Adam Yeah. So she just pushed it up to 145 with that answer. The point is, before you get the breast reduction, lose some weight. You lose a little bit of weight and you may lose some of the breast. But at least you have to see before you do the surgery.

28:07 Caller I've tried actually losing weight and stuff and I've gotten to the point where I've been really skinny and the breasts are still big.

28:15 Adam Still too big?

28:16 Caller Yeah, like they're there.

28:17 311 But that's how you naturally are and that's usually what most girls want.

28:23 Adam It is. How's the shape? How's the form?

28:27 Caller Big, round, I don't know.

28:30 Drew Big, big, really big.

28:32 Adam Alright. Okay, so here's what we would recommend. And by the way, I've had the same trials and tribulations with my scrotum. I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've done all the fat exercises. Still big, still round, and the right's still hanging lower than the left. Hi, Sandra. You're 16. If you really think it's hurting your back and it's a big problem, you could probably consult a plastic surgeon.

29:00 Caller Well, I don't want to go through all that scarring.

29:02 Adam Alright, well, Nick will suck the fat out of him then.

29:05 Caller Alright.

29:06 311 No, no, hold on now.

29:07 Adam Listen, seriously, Sandra, you're a little bit overweight, right?

29:12 Caller I don't know.

29:14 Adam I'm going with yeah.

29:14 Caller A lot of people say I'm not, like all in my head, but I don't know.

29:19 Adam It's all in your head?

29:20 Caller Yeah, that I'm big.

29:22 Adam Well, how much do you weigh, seriously? Do you know?

29:24 Caller Well, last time I weighed myself, it was like a month ago, it was 120.

29:29 Adam Alright, okay. Well, consult a plastic surgeon and see what they have to say then.

29:34 Caller Okay.

29:35 Adam Okay. But there's no way they can make them smaller without surgery.

29:38 Drew Right.

29:38 Adam You understand?

29:39 311 I think you can just be happy with how you are and eat a lot of vegetables and everything will catch up.

29:45 Caller I don't like the attention they get.

29:47 Drew That's different. Different issue.

29:49 Adam Alright.

29:49 Caller Okay.

29:50 Drew But you wasted your time talking to us about something else.

29:52 Adam You should start dating our last caller. He doesn't like them.

29:55 Drew This is something that young women have to do all the time is how guys treat them as objects when they develop like this and you will learn to manage this. This is something you have to do.

30:06 Adam Alright. Let's get it together. Drew, you're dragging too. What's up with you?

30:12 Drew I'm fine.

30:12 Adam You're alright?

30:13 Drew You're bringing me down.

30:14 Adam Alright. I'm coming back. I was playing a little basketball. I got wrung out like a bar rag and I need to rejuvenate myself here. Nick Hexum is here from 311. He's going to be here and will be here too and will be back after this. Neat. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. 311. Actually, Nick Hexum is here from 311. Sound system's the name of the latest CD. We will hear something off of that. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Hey, The Man Show is starting right now.

31:21 Drew Oh, you forgot to talk about it last night.

31:24 Adam That's all right, Drew. The word's out, brother. Ain't no stop in The Man Show.

31:28 Caller Whatever.

31:29 Adam You better plug that Drew website. That's what needs help. Not The Man Show.

31:32 Drew Hey, it doesn't need help. It's really-

31:33 Adam The Man Show is a juggernaut.

31:34 Drew So I got a juggernaut. We got some amazing stuff. We got some amazing polls, amazing forums. drdrew.com. And I did a webcast tonight with, oh, for crying out loud, a girl, a woman from JAG, African American woman. She's been on this show before.

31:50 Adam Leticia?

31:51 Drew No.

31:51 Adam Holy shit.

31:52 Drew Blanket on her name. Henry Johnson.

31:55 Adam She was on this show?

31:56 Drew Yeah. You don't remember.

31:57 Adam Drew, you really know how to sell a website. Yeah. This black chick from JAG was on, I think. Yeah. She talked about some stuff. Yeah. We don't want to miss that. Well, maybe we ought to just close up shop early and go listen to that black chick talk about stuff. Oh, please.

32:27 Drew Just because I don't have promotional bone in my body doesn't mean these things aren't good and interesting.

32:31 Adam I'm going to put my promotional bone right in your body, Drew.

32:34 Drew There's a jack-off page, right? You're right.

32:36 Adam All right. There you go. Listen, here's how I would sell this drdrew.com.

32:41 Drew All right.

32:43 Adam Everybody who calls the show has got a zillion questions and I don't know what percentage of them actually get through to us, but it's a very small percentage. You have a question about something that's crawling around on your groin or whether you can get knocked up in a hot tub or when the morning after pill should be taken or whatever it is. Go find it there and leave us alone.

33:04 Drew There you go.

33:05 Adam That's what I want to say. All right. Now, that's how you should promote it, not the black chick from some show we never heard of was on. Amy?

33:14 Yeah.

33:14 Adam You're 19.

33:15 Caller Yeah.

33:16 Drew You can still see Blink 182 on one of my webcasts anytime you want.

33:19 Adam There you go. All right.

33:21 First of all, I'm calling from Chicago and my first comment is to Adam because I was at Illinois Wesleyan and I think it was totally not cool that you weren't there.

33:33 Adam I know.

33:34 Drew But it was good without him, wasn't it?

33:36 It was totally awesome without you.

33:38 Drew See?

33:38 I mean, we had a great time and you totally missed out.

33:42 Adam Dr. Drew.

33:42 I didn't even go to school there either.

33:44 Drew See Adam?

33:44 So I just would like to say that first of all.

33:47 Drew Thank you.

33:48 Adam We were supposed to do a lecture at Wellesleyan, which is a college in Peoria.

33:54 No. I'm from Peoria.

33:55 Adam Bloomington. Bloomington. Whatever. It's all the same.

33:58 Drew We land in Peoria.

33:59 Adam It's the same place to me. I backed out at the last moment.

34:04 Drew That audience was pissed, huh?

34:06 Oh, my God. They were totally pissed.

34:08 Adam Well, you know.

34:09 311 You're right.

34:10 There's a lot of rumors going around about you right now.

34:13 Adam Rumors. I stayed home and watched TV. That's what I did.

34:16 Drew Amy, Amy, you know what? I see your question up here. You I asked answered a question there about giving a guy his space. You know, I said they asked me, they asked me how I ended up getting married and how my wife was able to do that. And I said, she believed me when I said I'm not ready. She listened to me and believed me if I said whatever I said, she took as real.

34:38 Adam Right.

34:38 Drew And because it was what I was feeling at the time. If I said I'm not ready to get married, I was not ready to get married.

34:43 Adam Right.

34:44 Drew And she had to make decisions accordingly and decide whether or not to hang back or to stay in with the relationship or break off. And so what did you do?

34:51 Well, okay, well when I heard you say that, I was kind of like in an iffy spot with my boyfriend because he, we had just broken up and he said he wanted me back, but he wanted space and he wanted to date other people. And I didn't really take date other people very well because I didn't feel very confident enough in myself as it was that I could put up with him dating somebody else. So I like threw a little temper tantrum and then he kind of threw it on the line with me. And after you said that, I kind of was like, it kind of like hit home. I was like, you know, this is really retarded. So I kind of laid back and I'm just like, you know what? I'm giving you your space. I'm going to give you everything you need.

35:27 Drew And you know what?

35:28 You come to me when you want me.

35:29 Drew He's the boyfriend.

35:30 Right.

35:31 Adam And he banged your best friend.

35:34 What?

35:35 Adam Yeah, it worked.

35:36 Yeah. And then like, let's say like.

35:39 Adam All right. Well, it worked. Did it work?

35:41 Well, three days ago, he said he didn't want space anymore and then he loved me.

35:46 Adam So it worked.

35:47 Drew It worked.

35:48 311 That's a happy ending.

35:49 Adam Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. All right. Good. Jesus Christ. I'm glad I didn't go to that Wellesley. Was she there?

35:56 311 But the rumors have really brought your career down.

35:59 Drew That's right. He was out shooting smack. That's why it wasn't the thing.

36:05 Adam Cat.

36:07 Cat?

36:07 Drew Yep.

36:08 Adam There you go.

36:08 Hi.

36:09 Adam Cat, you're 35. What's going on there?

36:12 Caller I have an issue about yesterday night when you mentioned liberal men and how they have vaginas in their place.

36:18 Caller Right.

36:20 Caller I guess I'm just upset that it's almost the next millennium and we're still referring to women's genitalia is somehow being weak. I guess I'm just tired of that scenario.

36:33 Drew Hang on a second. Is that where that term came from?

36:35 Adam No.

36:36 Drew I didn't think so.

36:37 Adam No.

36:38 Drew That's not what that's referring to.

36:40 Adam I wasn't referring to a woman's genitalia when I called the guy a, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it anymore. We got a talking to yesterday about profanity. We'll just call the guy a wussy with a P.

36:53 Drew A wussy used to be the thing that people called.

36:55 Adam All right, well, there you go. Wussy with a P is what I called a lot of liberal guys.

37:03 Caller I could have sworn you said they were guys with vaginas.

37:05 Adam Well, I said they're probably growing them or something.

37:07 Caller But see, it still refers to that.

37:09 Caller I mean, I think Pussy really does have some.

37:11 311 That's a little sexist. You got to give it up for that.

37:14 Drew I don't think you said that, did you?

37:15 Adam No, I don't.

37:16 Drew That's bizarre.

37:17 Adam Oh, I don't know what I said. You know I'm loaded when I do this show. The point is, you're making a connection here that's really, it's a dead-end street, Kat. It's not going to get you anywhere or me anywhere, feminism anywhere, and what's up with you anyway?

37:35 Drew Is it sexist to call a guy a male when we say you're a male, Janitay, you're a D?

37:40 Adam Right.

37:41 Drew It means aggressive and obnoxious. Is that demeaning now to males when we say that?

37:46 Adam Yeah.

37:46 Caller Well, when somebody's gutsy, they have balls.

37:48 Caller I mean, I've heard women referred to as having balls.

37:50 Adam Right, when someone's an idiot, they're a dick. So, so what?

37:53 Caller Yeah, but I would call a woman a dick.

37:55 Adam We're allowed to say that.

37:56 Caller We call it other things.

37:57 Adam Yeah.

37:59 Caller I mean, I'm not really...

37:59 Adam All right. Listen, Kat, here's the, here, what's up with you? You married?

38:04 Caller No.

38:05 Adam No. And you have 25 cats and you're still living at home?

38:09 Caller No.

38:10 Adam Come on.

38:10 Caller I have no cats. I have a dog.

38:12 Adam The dog ate all the cats?

38:14 Caller No.

38:15 Adam All right. Why aren't you married?

38:17 Caller I'm just not.

38:19 Caller When I met the right guy, I wasn't ready. Now I'm on my own, so.

38:24 311 Which we just learned is valid, to not be ready.

38:26 Adam That's right. 1972? Come on. What's up with you?

38:31 What do you mean?

38:32 Adam Why are you so angry?

38:34 I'm not that angry.

38:35 Caller I'm just put off with the terminology.

38:38 Adam Stop freaking guys out.

38:40 I'm not.

38:41 Adam Can't answer me truthfully.

38:43 Caller Okay.

38:44 Adam Do you trim down there?

38:46 Yeah.

38:47 Adam You do? Okay.

38:48 311 Why did she answer you?

38:50 Adam I can't believe she even answered you. I just want to know where she was coming from. That's all.

38:55 311 What did that tell you?

38:57 Caller What did you say? I'm not sure I heard you correctly.

38:59 Adam You do a little trimming downstairs? You know what I mean?

39:04 Caller What?

39:04 Caller Are you asking am I a lesbian?

39:05 Adam No, I'm asking do you prune the sex hedge?

39:09 Caller No.

39:10 Adam No. Just wild for the winter? Winter coat?

39:17 Caller I'm sorry. I'm not gathering.

39:19 Adam Don't.

39:19 Drew Don't.

39:19 Adam I'm talking about the grooming downstairs, the bikini area.

39:22 Drew You're not missing anything, Cat. Continue to close your mind to this.

39:25 Adam Just shut up. The bikini area. Yeah. Is that well taken care of?

39:33 Caller This is a really bizarre question. I'm not in a relationship, so now I'm not grooming that area. It's winter. I'm wearing heavy clothes.

39:40 Adam I understand.

39:41 Caller I don't get where you're going.

39:42 Adam All right. I'm just playing a hunch. Just playing a hunch. Wild and moly. That's all right. Some guys are into that. All right.

39:50 Caller I guess it's, you know, I'm not trying to be a full-blown feminist here.

39:53 Caller I understand.

39:55 Caller It's sort of like, am I not, why am I not married by 35? Would a guy get the same question?

40:00 Adam Yes. Now he wouldn't because we'd be happy. That's right. It's, hey, listen, Kat, let me explain something.

40:06 Caller All right?

40:08 Adam This is going to make, I'm going to change your life with this statement. Oh, God. I swear to you.

40:12 311 I'm going to write this down.

40:14 Adam Put those lesbian ears on and listen to me for a second. There are differences between men and women, and there's some pros and some cons to each. You understand? Men die earlier, for instance. Okay. We can't wear pants and skirts. We only get to wear pants in the event of a war. We do battle. Do you see what I'm saying? And then there are certain advantages to being guys. And it's the same with women. Just accept them and be happy. All right? All right. Thank you.

40:48 Drew Are you convinced to her?

40:50 Adam Yeah. Why did I get the feeling that there's a lot of weeds growing around the landing strip there? Hey, have we gone to commercial yet with the man show? Yeah, we're on a commercial. All right, I gotta keep talking then because I don't want to come back until the man show is back on. Because I like to go watch like two minutes of it in the next room. Mark? Yeah? You love 311? Oh, yeah.

41:12 Caller Good.

41:14 Drew Yeah, I got a question for Nick.

41:16 311 All right.

41:17 Drew Yeah, first off, I'd like to say you guys are freaking the dopest band ever.

41:20 311 Well, thank you.

41:21 Drew And you guys have totally inspired me to be just a better person.

41:25 Caller And that's pretty cool.

41:27 And I got a question about the song Brodell.

41:30 Caller I can't seem to figure out what's behind that song.

41:34 Or what's it about?

41:35 311 Brodell's is just a slang of saying brother. And it's just about like just about, you know, our group of friends and, you know, being a good person. And it's don't don't look that deep. You know, it's just it's just sort of like a bro him to quote Pennywise if you would.

41:57 Drew Don't quote Pennywise around here.

41:59 Adam All right. So, Mark?

42:01 Caller Yeah.

42:01 Adam Yeah. It's like brother.

42:03 Caller All right.

42:03 Adam You good?

42:04 Caller Yeah.

42:05 Adam I know. Did you have any theories on it?

42:08 Drew Adam, commercial's over.

42:09 Adam Oh, OK. Who cares about your theories, Mark? Keep it to yourself. We got to go to break. All right. All right. I go watch the man show. Nick Hexum is here from 311. Drew's here also from Pasadena. We'll be back after this.

42:24 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

42:56 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Cypress Hill will be in here tomorrow night. Nick Hexum is here tonight from 311. Soundsystem's the name of the CD. We'll hear something off it. Oh, there we go.

43:11 Caller Yeah.

43:13 Adam What's going on?

43:14 Let's play it now.

43:16 Adam Well, okay. But I don't know what song we're playing. First song is what it is.

43:21 Drew Come original.

43:23 Adam Is that what it is?

43:24 Drew Right?

43:25 311 Well, that's the first single.

43:26 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, let's hear that from 311. Here you go. Come original. Come original. Come original. Yeah, 311, everybody. A very, very.

47:14 311 An ovation.

47:14 Adam Very, very unique sound of 311. Nick Hexum is here from again 311. And we'll get back on the phones and speak to Raquel.

47:27 Hi.

47:27 Adam You're 20. What's up?

47:29 Caller Hi. I'd just like to say, first of all, Nick, I think it's really amazing that you guys are going through and doing these small clubs, the small club store, because so many of your fans are getting a chance to meet you.

47:41 311 Well, we're done now, but thank you. We had a blast.

47:44 Caller Yeah, yeah.

47:45 311 Two and a half months of just fun, pure fun.

47:49 Adam Where did you see them, Raquel?

47:50 Caller Oh, I saw them at the Aggie and at the Fox Theater.

47:53 311 Colorado.

47:54 Caller In Colorado.

47:55 Adam Right, where all the rendering is going on.

47:58 311 Does Greeley smell? Have you been to Greeley?

48:00 Caller Oh, gosh. The way to Fort Collins, you have to kind of go through Greeley and it reeks. Sometimes with the wind blowing the right way, it comes to Fort Collins and anyway, those are some bad days.

48:13 Adam All right. So what's up?

48:15 Caller So I'm attracted to one of my professors and I want to make the first move on him.

48:25 Drew He's somebody you are currently in a class with?

48:27 Caller Correct.

48:28 Drew Don't do it.

48:29 Adam Where do you go to school?

48:31 Caller Colorado State.

48:34 Drew We're going up there, aren't we?

48:35 Adam We were there, weren't we?

48:36 Drew No, we were at University of Colorado.

48:37 I think we're going up Colorado.

48:39 Adam How old is this guy?

48:41 Caller He's 29.

48:42 Adam Colorado State's the Rams, right?

48:44 Caller Right.

48:44 Adam Yeah. He's 29? Yeah. What class is it?

48:50 Caller Psychology.

48:54 Adam You're currently in his class?

48:56 Caller Yeah. Well, I have his final tomorrow and then we're done.

48:59 Adam Why do you think he likes you?

49:02 Caller He's ever blatantly flirted with me, but, I mean, he's just...

49:08 Adam Are you good looking?

49:10 Caller Um, yeah.

49:11 Adam Yeah. So you kind of get the feeling that if you make a move on most any guy, they're going to be receptive to it?

49:16 Caller Yeah. And I told... Yeah. I'm all up for...

49:18 Adam Must be nice to be that. I got two TV shows. I'm shaking in my boots. I can't talk to a woman. You know what I mean? Must be nice to be 20 and a good-looking female in college. And you just figure, you know guys, you know what they're about. I mean, he could be married, his wife could be standing next to him. But you're cute. You go up and talk to him, you know he wants to go out with you, right? Right. Wow.

49:41 Drew Oh, God. Well, I imagine the school has guidelines about things like that.

49:48 Adam What about after she graduates his class?

49:51 311 Which is like tomorrow.

49:52 Adam Right. What's that?

49:53 Caller I'm not going to be in his class anymore.

49:55 Drew I'm not going to be in his class again. I'm sure the school has some...

49:58 Adam Alright. Who cares? How do you propose to do this? You just go up and talk to him? Yeah. And just ask him out?

50:03 Caller Yeah.

50:04 Adam How would you do it?

50:04 Caller He's not married or has a...

50:06 Adam Let's just pretend I'm him. Alright? How would you do it?

50:12 Caller Well...

50:12 Adam Is it like after... It's after class and I'm erasing the chalkboard or something? Do they have chalkboards?

50:21 Caller Um, no. I'm actually in a lot of classrooms.

50:25 Adam I'm doing something with my briefcase and you'll come over and talk to me?

50:31 Caller Um, yeah. Is that what I... Well, see, that's what I was thinking but...

50:34 Drew And what would you say?

50:35 Adam What would you say? I'll be him. Yes, you young Raquel. What's up?

50:42 Caller Actually, I think I'd want to call him at home.

50:44 Adam How do you get his home phone number?

50:46 Caller Oh, he gifts it out in case we have questions.

50:49 Adam Oh, okay. Alright. Go call him. Ask him out.

50:53 Caller Alright? Alright.

50:55 Adam Good. You know, the thing about guys who are into psychology, psychologists and people like that, they're nuttier than any of their patients. Now there's like 5% of them that are almost sort of extra healthy. Gandhi-like. But then the other 95 are more effed up than you'll ever be, except for you're paying them 90 bucks to listen to you. But that doesn't really matter because their problems aren't your problems. What the point is is they do it. I think he'd do it, right?

51:24 311 And I come from a family where my grandfather, my mom, my stepfather, and my sister are all psychologists.

51:30 Adam Oh really? Yeah. I got my dad, my grandma, and I swear if my mom would get off welfare she'd be doing that. All right. We're going to take a little break. Nick Hexum's here from 311. I'm going to talk to him about his family and what went wrong. And then we'll be back after this.

51:46 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

51:49 Caller Back in a minute.

51:50 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. Hey, y'all, it's Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

52:34 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

52:49 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Cypress Hill will be in here tomorrow night. Nick Hexum is here tonight from 311 Sound Systems. The name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that CD sometime in this hour. But before then, we'll go back to the phones. Mia?

53:09 Caller Yeah.

53:10 Adam You're 17?

53:11 Caller Yeah.

53:12 Caller What's up?

53:13 Caller Well, my boyfriend has started choking me when we were having sex.

53:17 Drew Why do you allow him to do that?

53:19 Caller Well, I've tried to get him to stop and I can't. The last time he did it, I passed out. All right.

53:25 Adam You hear that voice of hers by the way?

53:27 Drew Yeah, by the way.

53:30 Adam All right. Why don't you break up with him then?

53:34 Caller Because I love him.

53:35 Adam All right. Well, what can you do? You love him, he chokes you, there's nothing you can do about it.

53:40 Drew You'll have to, I guess, die on his behalf.

53:42 Adam Well, you can get some sort of neck brace or something that stops him from actually crushing the neck, couldn't you?

53:49 Drew The passing out is because the artery, was it because you couldn't breathe or because you just lost consciousness?

53:54 Caller I can't breathe when he doesn't.

53:55 Drew Because the artery can be cut off to the brain too if he chokes hard enough and then that's it. You stroke out.

54:02 Adam You have a stroke?

54:03 Drew You can stroke out.

54:04 Adam All right. I was stroking off earlier, is that the same?

54:07 Drew This is stroke out.

54:08 Adam Stroke out. I'll try that when I get home. Hey Mia?

54:14 Caller Yeah?

54:15 Adam We ever- Abused? Abused, hit or anything by your dad or uncle or something?

54:22 Caller No.

54:23 Adam No? No physical abuse?

54:24 Caller No.

54:25 Adam No one ever hit you? Sexual abuse?

54:28 Caller No.

54:29 Adam No? Everything's good at home?

54:31 Caller Yeah.

54:32 Drew Were your parents together?

54:34 Caller My father died.

54:35 Drew When you were how old?

54:37 Caller Last year.

54:39 Adam What did he die of?

54:40 Caller Cancer.

54:41 Adam All right. And did he drink?

54:43 Caller No.

54:44 Adam Did your mom drink?

54:45 Caller No.

54:46 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

54:48 Caller Fourteen.

54:49 Adam Fourteen? And how old was the guy? Twenty. Well, it's starting to come together a little bit. Fourteen and twenty, huh? Why so old and you so young?

55:05 I don't know.

55:06 Adam All right.

55:06 Drew Did you love him, too?

55:08 Yeah.

55:09 Drew Look what happened to that.

55:10 Adam Was he a...

55:10 Drew Was he a worthwhile guy?

55:12 Caller My father found out.

55:14 Adam Father found out. And you have any brothers or anything?

55:17 Drew What did your father do when he found out?

55:20 Caller He told the police.

55:21 Adam Oh, that's good.

55:23 Drew Yeah. Okay. That's appropriate.

55:24 Adam Well, what happened? Mia, are you sure nobody monkeyed with you or anything?

55:29 Caller No, they didn't.

55:30 Drew These were your biological parents, both of them?

55:32 Caller Yeah.

55:33 Adam No uncles?

55:35 Caller No.

55:36 Adam Older brothers?

55:37 Caller No.

55:37 Adam No. Nobody ever touched you, huh?

55:40 Drew You're awfully depressed now, no?

55:43 Caller Yeah.

55:43 Adam Is that because your dad passed away?

55:47 Caller Kind of.

55:48 Adam Okay.

55:48 Drew Kind of.

55:49 Adam Well, why is it, Mia, why do you think you would sort of let this guy bring you to a death's door when you have sex and not be outraged at him and break up with him? How could you love a guy who would strangle you while you're making love?

56:07 Caller He didn't used to do that.

56:08 Adam Oh, okay. All right. What are we going to do? He didn't used to do it. I've got a strong vibe off of her. Oh, yeah. I got that little girl voice and not only the little girl voice, but the cadence in the answer.

56:22 Drew The hostility, yeah.

56:23 Adam Yeah.

56:23 Drew Hostility.

56:24 Adam Yeah. No. Maybe. Kind of. Well, I want to get to it with her. I can't get to it. She's 14. She loses it to a 20-year-old. That's a little weird. But dad calls cops. So that means dad's sort of okay. No alcoholism, no physical abuse, no sexual abuse. She's with a guy who's strangling her though and she loves him. Let me just find out. I got to ask one more. How old is your boyfriend now?

56:54 Caller 26.

56:56 Adam Oh, yeah. You're 17?

56:59 Caller I will be in January.

57:01 Adam What's that?

57:01 Caller I will be in January.

57:03 Drew She will be 17.

57:03 Adam You're 16 and he's 26?

57:06 Drew Yeah. Your dad never struck you?

57:08 Caller No.

57:09 Adam Hey, Mia?

57:10 Drew I get strong physical abuse.

57:11 Adam Mia, would you be completely honest with us?

57:15 Drew Yeah. Are you just lying to us about some stuff? No.

57:19 Adam Okay. Your parents were together until your dad died of cancer.

57:23 Caller Yes.

57:24 Adam What did your dad do for a living?

57:26 Caller He had anesthesia.

57:28 Drew He's an anesthesiologist?

57:29 Caller No. He was an anesthetist.

57:32 Drew He was a nurse anesthetist. Yeah.

57:34 Adam And your mom?

57:36 Caller He does the same.

57:37 Adam Wow. A lot of nitrous blown around that house and they got along fine?

57:43 Caller Kind of.

57:44 Adam All right. You didn't have any- What do you mean kind of? Well, what do you mean kind of? All right.

57:51 Caller They just didn't spend a lot of time together.

57:52 Adam All right. Any older brothers?

57:55 Caller No, I'm an only child.

57:56 Adam All right. So nothing ever happened to you. The first time you had a sexual experience, you were 14 with a 20-year-old.

58:02 Caller Yes.

58:03 Adam Now you're dating, now you're 16, you're with a 26-year-old who strangles you. Where did you meet this 26-year-old?

58:12 Caller At school.

58:13 Adam At school.

58:14 311 What school is this? I guess it has both 26-year-olds and 16-year-olds.

58:19 Caller Student teacher.

58:20 Adam Student teacher.

58:21 311 That's messed up right there.

58:23 Adam Yeah. And your dad died a couple of years ago?

58:27 Caller A year ago in December.

58:28 Adam A year ago. But that's, see, she was already 16 or 15. That's too old to get into the daddy syndrome thing, you know?

58:38 Drew Unless she was really depressed to just act on the sound.

58:41 Adam Are you depressed, Mia?

58:44 Caller Yeah, I guess I am.

58:45 Adam All right. Mia?

58:48 Caller Yeah?

58:48 Adam This guy that you're with is a bad, bad guy. Can you not love him quite so much? Do you think you could figure out a way not to love this criminal so much?

58:58 Drew He violates every boundary that you need to have maintained, frankly.

59:03 Adam Right. Okay. There's something going on with her and I don't know. I just nothing exists in a vacuum. I know something's going on. Where did she go? She got the 20 year old when she was 14. Now she's got a 26 year old, a 16, student teacher, strangles her, loves him. Something's, something.

59:23 Drew All right.

59:24 Adam The dots are not being connected, Brian. I blame you, by the way, Drew.

59:27 Drew We're not getting him connected for you?

59:28 Adam That's right. Brian, you're 22. Hello? What's up?

59:32 Caller Man, I can't believe I'm on.

59:35 Adam All right. Go ahead.

59:37 Caller This is just an unbelievable coincidence. I'm in Greeley, Colorado right now. I'm from Denver doing work in Greeley, and I'm from Montana.

59:49 311 How's it smell?

59:50 Caller It smells like crap, to tell you the truth.

59:54 311 No offense against the people of Greeley. Isn't that weird?

59:56 Adam Yeah.

59:56 Caller It's very strange. It's a really weird coincidence.

59:59 Adam Where are you listening to us in Greeley?

1:00:01 Caller Um, Denver Station.

1:00:04 Adam I see.

1:00:04 Caller I don't want to venture to say exactly which station because I don't want to give the wrong one, you know?

1:00:09 Adam Right.

1:00:10 Caller But, uh...

1:00:11 Drew God knows we would be right on top of that if you did.

1:00:13 Adam Yeah.

1:00:15 311 We got to memorize here.

1:00:16 Adam We're on, what are we on?

1:00:18 311 So-and-so.

1:00:19 Adam KB...

1:00:20 311 K-something.

1:00:21 Adam KBCO.

1:00:22 Drew You've been at KBCO.

1:00:23 Adam That's right.

1:00:24 Drew That's the Boulder Station, though. He's getting out of a Denver Station.

1:00:27 Adam Yeah. That's the big... Yeah.

1:00:30 Drew I don't want to... Even that's where the popcorn guy brought us, the chocolate-covered popcorn, remember?

1:00:33 Adam That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I was out there. Those are my peeps over there at KBCO. Oh, yeah.

1:00:40 Caller You know.

1:00:41 Adam That's it. That's it.

1:00:42 Caller That's it.

1:00:42 Adam That's the station.

1:00:43 Caller That's the one.

1:00:44 Adam I know. We know all our affiliates. Yep. All... How many are there?

1:00:49 Caller I've been listening. I'm like, I cannot believe how much is actually going through Colorado right now.

1:00:54 Adam All right. So, so Brian, what's up? What do you need to know?

1:00:58 Caller No, the thing is that I'm a virgin. I'm 22 years old and I cannot I can't break this virgin thing. You know, I mean, I date all these girls. I've dated have always been virgins and I can't.

1:01:13 Drew So this is this is that like begets like theory that he's a virgin, so he attracts virgins and they got a weird thing going. He's got a weird thing going.

1:01:20 Adam Yeah.

1:01:20 Drew It never never moves on.

1:01:22 Adam It's a big chip on your shoulder, isn't it?

1:01:24 Drew I don't know what it is.

1:01:24 Caller But they do too.

1:01:26 Drew Because he's dating only virgins and they're virgins because they want to stay virgins.

1:01:31 Caller No, no, no, that's not it. They want to go through it with me, but I can't take that away from them and I can't take it away from. If we don't work out, I can't take it away from a guy after me. You know what I mean?

1:01:44 Drew You want to leave it?

1:01:45 Adam Interesting.

1:01:47 Caller I can't.

1:01:47 311 That's a rare quality to be so concerned about another guy.

1:01:51 Adam I wish some of the hundreds of guys who got there before I did had the same consideration you did, Brian. Brian, you're one of those guys that, remember when you go trick or treating when you were a kid and there'd be the plastic pumpkin out on the doorstep and there'd be a note that says we're out of town, please just take one Mars bar, one M&M packet, and most guys take the thing, capsize it into their pillowcase, shake it, and then light it on fire and drop kick it into the backyard or something. But Brian, you're one of the guys who takes one and then replaces it with one of your candies, right?

1:02:26 Caller It has to be that way.

1:02:28 Adam Man, I wish there were more of you out there.

1:02:30 Caller Rule the world!

1:02:31 Adam Do you understand that?

1:02:32 Caller I want to know what's going on with my head.

1:02:34 Drew You're gay.

1:02:35 Caller I can't take that away if we don't work out.

1:02:39 Drew Well, why do you always date virgins then?

1:02:41 Caller What's that?

1:02:41 Drew My point is, why date virgins?

1:02:43 Caller No, I don't mean to.

1:02:44 Adam Oh, okay. Listen to me, screwball. I've been on this earth for 35 years. I never got hold of a virgin. So why are you running across all these virgins?

1:02:53 Caller I have absolutely no idea.

1:02:55 Drew But that's the issue. That's really what's at issue here.

1:02:58 Adam And here's the other issue. All right, Brian, listen to me. Because this is the truth. You do what you want to do in life. If you want to lose your virginity, you'll lose your virginity. If you say you want to lose your virginity, but you come up with all sorts of hairbrained ideas why you don't, you don't really want to lose your virginity.

1:03:16 Caller No, I do.

1:03:17 Adam Shut up. Listen to me. If you're truly concerned that you're going to somehow soil these women needlessly with a brief liaison and then have them screwed up for their next partner, that is your rationale for not losing your virginity. That's not a true concern of yours. It may feel like you're concerned about it, but that ain't the truth. Because that ain't logical.

1:03:41 Drew Or you don't want to lose your virginity.

1:03:43 Adam No, no, no.

1:03:43 Drew I have oral sex with idiot ever. You were saying that the rationalization wasn't real. I'm saying maybe the rationalization is real and the desires, this notion that he wants to lose his virginity.

1:03:53 Adam I just said that, you jackass. Jesus, would you listen to me?

1:03:57 311 Have oral sex with these people.

1:03:58 Caller I've had several opportunities to do so.

1:04:00 311 You get all hot and bothered, but you don't want to put it in.

1:04:03 Caller No, I do. I'm just saying that I have this huge problem with taking that away from them. I don't know how they'll feel about me.

1:04:10 Adam All right, listen there. You start dating sluts like the rest of America, you idiot. Yes, stop dating virgins, okay?

1:04:19 Caller I can't help it, man.

1:04:21 Adam No, yes, you can. You're 22. You find other 20, 19, 23, 24-year-old girls, I don't know what percentage of them are virgins, but it's very small. You run into more Eskimos than virgins, you hear me?

1:04:37 Caller I don't understand how I track them.

1:04:39 Adam Listen to me. Listen to me. I'm done wasting my time with your virgin ass.

1:04:43 Caller I'm sorry.

1:04:44 Adam Now, listen to me, Brian. You take full responsibility for where you're at, would you please?

1:04:51 Caller I'll see what I can do.

1:04:52 Adam There are plenty of non-virgins out there. As a matter of fact, it's overwhelming the amount of non-virgins there are compared to virgins. So, if you find the 3% of 22-year-olds who are virgins, that's your problem. You're doing it.

1:05:07 Caller But what does it do to their psyche, so to speak?

1:05:10 Adam Oh, boy.

1:05:11 Drew You're freaking.

1:05:12 Adam Hey, Brian.

1:05:13 311 As long as they're of age, it's nice to be considerate, but you're being too considerate.

1:05:17 Adam Brian, you don't want to lose your virginity, and you can't admit it. No, no. You're scared.

1:05:22 Drew You're freaked out. The only way it's going to happen is if you don't date virgins.

1:05:25 Adam Listen to me. You're freaked out and scared.

1:05:28 311 Just keep shopping around. You'll find one that's not a virgin and it won't be any big deal. Have fun.

1:05:32 Adam Brian, admit you don't want to lose your virginity.

1:05:34 Caller No, I totally do.

1:05:36 Adam Admit it, you bastard. Like I said, I've had so much oral sex with them. You're scared. No, no, no.

1:05:44 Caller I prefer giving them oral sex than receiving it.

1:05:47 Adam Oh, now I really don't trust. Now.

1:05:50 Caller I don't understand what's going on with my brain.

1:05:52 Adam All right. It's not functioning correctly. That's what's going on with it.

1:05:55 Drew By the way, he's on a tear with oral sex. I mean, in the eyes of God, where's the virginity issue? Where is that virgin line?

1:06:05 Adam Listen, when it comes to sex, and it may not be this way with driving a Ferrari, because every guy who wants to drive a Ferrari doesn't get to drive a Ferrari. But if a guy's hell bent on getting laid, he will get laid. Toothless guys named Russ who drive rancheros where the passenger side doors caved in and have to crawl in through the window who are covered with cement. These are guys I've worked with. These guys manage to break themselves off a piece once twice a month. I don't know who they're doing it with. God only knows what those women are looking like. But there's prostitutes, there's roofies, there's many avenues one can take. But if a guy wants to get laid, he will figure out a way to get laid. And saying, I don't want to soil him for the next guy who comes down the pike is saying, I don't want to get laid. And not admitting it to himself.

1:07:00 Drew But how about always choosing virgins?

1:07:02 Adam Oh, he's an idiot. He's so out of touch with his own penis, he doesn't even know where to find it. Mike?

1:07:08 Drew Unfortunately, that was a problem we could never ascribe to you.

1:07:10 Adam No, I'm holding it now. Mike, you're 18.

1:07:14 Caller Yes, I am.

1:07:14 Adam What's up?

1:07:14 Caller Hey, Nick, man, I go to school in Denver and Greeley smells really bad because there's like a manure plant right outside the city.

1:07:21 311 I don't know if it's a manure plant because like what would they be selling?

1:07:24 Caller I don't know, like they process crap.

1:07:27 Adam Well, no, it makes sense if they have a-

1:07:30 311 They boil blood.

1:07:30 Adam If they have cattle.

1:07:31 311 Boil blood.

1:07:32 Adam Yeah, but if they have like a rendering plant or a slaughterhouse, they should have a manure plant there too because-

1:07:37 311 Or fertilizer, okay.

1:07:38 Adam It's all, well, it's the same circle. I mean, the cows are eating, the cows are crapping, then the cows are getting slaughtered, right?

1:07:46 Caller Yeah.

1:07:47 Adam Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah.

1:07:51 Caller All right, here's my problem. Yeah. I was at my girlfriend's house last week and I stayed at her house and we got kind of drunk and then I went to sleep and I had to sleep in a different room because her parents are all treatment. But she's 17 and I was sleeping and I was basically passed out and I woke up and someone was giving oral sex to me. So I was like, all right, you know, it's my girlfriend and then kind of shook my head a little bit and looked down and it was my girlfriend's little sister.

1:08:18 Adam Was it a dog?

1:08:18 311 Oh, hell does the sister say it was a guy.

1:08:21 Caller Thirteen years old.

1:08:22 Drew Thirteen?

1:08:23 Caller Yeah.

1:08:23 311 Oh my God.

1:08:25 Drew Wow. Oh boy.

1:08:26 Caller I have no idea what to do because I don't know if I should tell my girlfriend or what because I mean, whether she gets pissed at me or something. I don't know what.

1:08:34 Drew Wow.

1:08:35 Caller Did you finish?

1:08:36 Caller No.

1:08:37 Adam You didn't?

1:08:37 Drew What did you do?

1:08:38 Caller I kicked her ass out of the room.

1:08:41 Adam Really?

1:08:42 Caller Yeah.

1:08:43 Adam I don't think God or any court in the land would convict you if you just didn't do anything. You know what I mean?

1:08:51 Drew Kicked her ass out of the room.

1:08:53 Adam What'd you do?

1:08:54 Caller What do you mean by that?

1:08:55 Drew What did you say and do?

1:08:56 Adam I mean, did you go like, hold?

1:08:57 Caller I was all, you know, I kind of woke up really quickly.

1:09:01 Drew And what'd you say to her?

1:09:02 Caller I said, well, what are you doing? She was all, she was all, don't you like it? And I'm all, no, get out of here.

1:09:08 311 And, you know, you're freaked out.

1:09:10 Caller I have a sleep. I kind of got freaked out. I don't really. Yeah. Yeah.

1:09:14 311 So whether you tell your girl or not, I mean, it's not really going to change that much. It's like, doesn't really matter. I mean, I don't know. What do you guys think?

1:09:23 Adam I think he should not tell his girlfriend. And I think this will just, pardon the pun, blow over. I mean, she's not going to do anything. She's not going to corny you. She's 13.

1:09:35 Drew Let's think about the.

1:09:36 Adam She's got some energy.

1:09:37 Drew Yeah, I think what's going on with her.

1:09:39 Adam And there's a serious relationship riff with her older sister. But on the other hand, if you bring this up, you could get caught in the crossfire.

1:09:48 Caller Yeah, I know. But if she brings it up, then I look like I'm totally guilty.

1:09:52 Adam She's not going to bring it up. She's scared to death. You're going to bring it up.

1:09:54 Caller Yeah, but you know, some little 13-year-old babbling to her friends who's going to tell her sister or something, you know, she could do that.

1:10:01 Adam Listen, it's possible, but you have the truth on your side. You just say exactly what it was. And she's 13. Come on. If you can't crack a 13-year-old, you ain't worth your weight in salt. You know what I'm saying? You got some 13-year-old and she's talking about this and that. You just say it exactly how it went down, if that's exactly how it went down.

1:10:22 Caller That is, yeah.

1:10:23 Adam And did she, she was performing on you when you woke up?

1:10:26 Caller Yep.

1:10:27 Adam And where, what do you sleep in? Sleep naked?

1:10:31 Caller I was sleeping in my boxers.

1:10:32 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:10:35 311 She was probably just curious, you know, I mean, she'd heard about it and saw a chance, you know, it's like.

1:10:41 Adam And you sleep on your back.

1:10:42 311 Things like that happen, you know.

1:10:43 Caller I don't remember exactly how I was sleeping.

1:10:46 Adam All right. I got to sleep on my back, you know, because.

1:10:50 311 So that'll happen to you more often.

1:10:51 Adam It's never happened to me. I've had women wake up with my penis in their mouth, but I've never ever woken up with my penis in a woman's mouth. There's a slight.

1:11:00 311 Wait, now let's go back into your childhood.

1:11:01 Adam Slight difference.

1:11:02 311 If the girls wake up with your penis in their mouth, let's dissect him for once.

1:11:06 Adam All right, but here's.

1:11:08 Drew Dissect him. He's splayed all over the counter all the time.

1:11:11 Adam Here's why I'm not a criminal. I wasn't attached to my penis. They just woke up with it. You understand? It wasn't attached to my grunt.

1:11:19 Drew It was reattached later.

1:11:20 Adam That's right.

1:11:21 311 Attachable penis.

1:11:22 Adam I think a piece of it was taken out. I'm sure it was. The point is, if you sleep on your stomach, you'll never ever wake up this way. You'll wake up with something in your ass, but you'll never wake up with your penis in someone's mouth. And I always wonder, how do these guys sleep soundly enough? And by the way, they're at someone else's house. It's not like they're at their own house, where the covers get pulled back, the penis comes out, it goes in the mouth, and then they wake up.

1:11:54 311 Well, he said he was drunk. It all sounds pretty just like basic to me.

1:11:57 Drew Some people sleep more heavily than you, Adam. I know it's hard for you to understand, even comprehend.

1:12:03 Adam I'll tell you, my neighbor gets a BJ, I wake up. Forget about me. Robert?

1:12:09 Yeah?

1:12:09 Adam You're 13.

1:12:10 Caller Yeah.

1:12:11 Adam What's up?

1:12:13 Caller Yesterday night, I was suspended from school for carrying a knife. And my mom says I have a social problem and I don't know what to do. I've been getting in trouble all the time. Three weeks ago, I got in trouble for drinking a pint of vodka on school campus and sharing with my friends.

1:12:40 Adam You just brought the vodka to school with you?

1:12:43 Caller Yeah.

1:12:43 Adam Like in the morning?

1:12:45 Caller Yeah. And all through the day, I drank it.

1:12:48 Adam Wow. And where's your dad? Not around?

1:12:52 Caller He's still around.

1:12:54 Adam He's living in the house with you?

1:12:56 Caller Yeah.

1:12:57 Adam What's he have to say about it?

1:13:01 Caller He got in trouble for a while.

1:13:03 Adam Want to know why he took his vodka?

1:13:06 Caller What?

1:13:07 Adam Was he... Is your dad do a little drinking?

1:13:10 Caller He did a long time ago.

1:13:12 Drew Is he in recovery now?

1:13:13 Caller Yeah.

1:13:14 Drew So he's in AA?

1:13:16 Caller Yeah.

1:13:17 Adam Does he work around metal?

1:13:19 Caller No.

1:13:20 Adam What's he do?

1:13:21 Caller He's a lawyer.

1:13:24 Caller Really?

1:13:25 Caller Yeah.

1:13:26 Adam Yeah? All right. So why are you doing all the acting out?

1:13:30 Caller I don't know.

1:13:31 Adam Are you mad?

1:13:32 Caller Social problems.

1:13:33 Adam Are you mad at your folks?

1:13:37 Caller No.

1:13:37 Adam Don't you think you're trying to get back at him a little by kind of screwing up?

1:13:45 Caller I don't know.

1:13:46 Adam Well, I mean, here's what I think, Robert. You bring a pint of vodka with you to school and you start drinking at school. You're 13 years old. You're sort of asking.

1:13:56 Drew Bring a knife.

1:13:57 Adam You bring a knife to school. I mean, in a way, you're sort of crying out for attention or you're asking to be noticed. And you know what's going to happen. It's going to get back to your parents and they're going to be freaked out or pissed off.

1:14:10 Drew But nobody ever smacked you around.

1:14:13 Caller Yeah, a little bit when I was younger.

1:14:15 311 Yeah.

1:14:16 Adam Are your your parents besides smacking around a little, do they not pay much attention to you?

1:14:24 Drew They're busy all the time?

1:14:25 Caller No, my brother usually got all the attention because he was getting in trouble with the law, doing violent things and doing illegal drugs.

1:14:38 Adam Uh-huh. What's he doing now, your brother?

1:14:41 Caller He is doing construction.

1:14:45 Adam He's doing construction?

1:14:46 Caller Yeah.

1:14:47 Adam All right. He'll be back. Hey, Robert?

1:14:53 Caller Yeah.

1:14:53 Adam Here's what I think. I think your parents spent a little too much time with your brother. Maybe they didn't focus on you enough. Maybe they smacked you around a little. And now you're kind of putting them on notice that they should have spent a little more time with you. They're kind of acting out a little bit. So here's the problem. All right. Here's what I want to say, Robert. If you got a problem, you have to kind of talk to them about it. You just getting the principal calling up and saying you brought a knife to school doesn't help anybody. And it gets you in deeper. Yeah.

1:15:28 Drew You're on a path here, Robert, where you're going to destroy yourself.

1:15:31 Caller Yeah. Plus, I'm getting in trouble with juvenile.

1:15:34 Drew Yeah. But what does this do for you to be in this kind of trouble all the time? Why don't you try to do your best you can to try to sort of fall in line and gain a sense of yourself as somebody who can do something productive, rather than your whole sense of yourself being somebody who just has trouble with authority.

1:15:52 Adam All right. There's a weird thing. I don't know if you ever went through this phase, but I grew up, my parents didn't pay any attention to me, and I always thought of things to do to myself to get them to pay attention to me.

1:16:06 Drew Were you thinking that way? Is that actually what you were thinking? It sort of came out that way.

1:16:10 Adam It comes out that way, and it's sort of conscious and unconscious at the same time, but you end up getting in trouble or getting hurt or getting whatever is a way to try to draw some attention on yourself that you never really got. Like when you're a kid, you know, focus is focus, whether it's because you broke your arm or because you pulled a knife on somebody or whatever it is.

1:16:30 311 Or if you got an A, it's all.

1:16:32 Adam Or yeah, well, I wasn't going to go that route. But the point is, is they have... When the principal calls them up at work and tells them they got to come down and get you, they will focus on you for that 20 minutes.

1:16:46 Drew It becomes about I exist.

1:16:47 Adam Right.

1:16:48 Drew That's how I exist. That's how I know I exist. That's how you know I exist.

1:16:52 Adam There you go. Yeah, and you don't want to get the A because you're mad at them.

1:16:56 Drew And you can't do that anyway. You don't have the skill for that so you don't get to declare that you exist.

1:17:00 Adam I didn't mean me, but yeah, one doesn't.

1:17:02 Drew Most people don't.

1:17:03 Adam No. All right. Nick Hexum is here from 311. We'll take a little break and we'll be back after this.

1:17:13 Caller We'll be right back with more.

1:17:47 Adam I know it at the time. Yeah. It's getting an interesting conversation with Drew. Nick Hexum is here from 311. I was, oh, I don't know if I want to talk about it or not.

1:18:01 Drew We should play a song of theirs, yes?

1:18:03 Adam Yeah. All right. So we got to finish this conversation.

1:18:05 311 Okay.

1:18:05 Adam All right. This is from 311, this is off of a sound system, and it's called Flowing. Flowing from 311. Sound Systems, the name of the CD, and we'll get back to the phone.

1:21:29 311 And it rocks.

1:21:31 Adam Brian?

1:21:32 Yeah.

1:21:33 Adam You're 18?

1:21:34 Caller Yes.

1:21:34 Adam What's up?

1:21:37 Caller I wanted to tell Nick Hexum that I've been a fan since music. I love your music. I think it's great. I think you have the best drummer in the world. You're the best everybody in the world, pretty much. And I wanted to know, were you guys working on SoundSystem since the tour after Transistor? Or what took so long for the next album to come out?

1:22:00 311 Yeah, we took 98 to chill and just work on SoundSystem at a leisurely pace. And everyone was buying houses for the first time and just working on setting that up. And we just kind of slowed down and said, life's not a race, man. We've already got four records out. We've only been going for like six years.

1:22:19 Caller So I was at Riverbend and I guess it was 97 in Cincinnati.

1:22:24 311 Yeah, that was a cool place.

1:22:25 Caller You guys had a band called Spearhead open up for you.

1:22:28 311 Yeah.

1:22:29 Caller And then it seemed like so long since I heard about you guys coming back and then you guys came to Bogarts just recently.

1:22:34 311 Yeah.

1:22:35 Caller I was at that show.

1:22:36 311 Cool.

1:22:38 Caller It was wonderful.

1:22:39 311 Thank you.

1:22:40 Adam Thanks, Brian.

1:22:41 Caller You guys kick ass.

1:22:42 311 Now, are you going to have some weird... Did you make up this next topic or what is it?

1:22:47 Drew No, he's done.

1:22:48 Adam He just wanted to compliment you.

1:22:49 Drew That's it.

1:22:50 Caller What next topic?

1:22:51 Drew You have any other questions. That was it.

1:22:53 Adam Thanks, Brian.

1:22:53 311 Thanks, Brian.

1:22:54 Caller Thank you.

1:22:55 Adam Take care.

1:22:56 311 See, I thought he was going to say incest or something coming up right up from the happy topic to...

1:23:01 Adam No, just a 311 fan. Joe?

1:23:04 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:23:05 Adam You're 22.

1:23:06 Caller What's going on, man?

1:23:07 Adam What's going on with you?

1:23:09 Caller Yeah. First of all, I want to say Nick Hexum.

1:23:12 Caller It's an honor and a privilege to get to have you hear my voice. I'm a total huge fan.

1:23:19 311 Right on, man.

1:23:20 Caller That's cool.

1:23:21 Caller I mean, I've got all the albums, got the video and everything, and I'm nervous as hell.

1:23:27 311 Don't be.

1:23:28 Caller Well, man, you guys are like the best new band out there. I mean, I don't even really like to listen to the radio unless you guys are on. You know, you guys are so creative. But anyway, I could ramble all day. I have a problem with my testicles.

1:23:47 Adam Hello? Yeah, what's going on?

1:23:51 Caller Whenever I masturbate and I reach orgasm, my scrotum tightens up and my right testicle kind of pulls upwards to my upper region.

1:24:03 Drew It disappears up inside.

1:24:05 Caller Well, not completely, just up to where it's noticeable.

1:24:08 Drew Alright, well it's normal and oftentimes it can pull all the way up inside, up into the sort of inguinal canal there.

1:24:14 Caller Isn't that hernia or something?

1:24:15 Drew No, it's called a cremasteric response.

1:24:17 Adam And that's good because it's just one less thing.

1:24:19 Caller Who knows about the testicle thing? Is that Dr. Drew or is that Nick?

1:24:22 Drew That's me. No, it's me.

1:24:24 Caller Have you been through this too, bro?

1:24:27 311 No, no. I have regular testicular function.

1:24:31 Caller Is it normal?

1:24:32 Drew Yes.

1:24:34 Adam Right on. Hey, Joe, I had this problem, too. And here's the way I cured myself. When I masturbate, I actually tuck them into my rectum and sit on them.

1:24:43 Caller Are you serious?

1:24:44 Adam Yeah, that way they can't pull up. I mean, try as they might. They can't pull up.

1:24:48 Caller Well, I think that would work, but I don't know if my sack is long enough.

1:24:52 311 Try it now. We'll wait.

1:24:53 Adam Well, you got to start training it, brother.

1:24:54 311 Okay, hold on, hold on.

1:24:55 Adam All right, go ahead. Now, what I.

1:24:57 Caller Oh, already there.

1:24:58 Adam Okay.

1:24:59 Caller I think I'm safe.

1:25:00 Adam Joe, what you can do for starters is if your scrotum won't make it into your rectum, it just makes it between your legs and then creeps up. You can lie on your back, let your scrotum hang between your legs, and then take like a Bible or a dictionary or something and wedge it up in there between the legs.

1:25:21 311 Please, not a Bible.

1:25:22 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah. You're right. The Torah. Take the Torah and wedge it up in between there to keep it from going back up there.

1:25:31 Caller Unacceptable.

1:25:33 Adam I think it's a blessing because it's really just one less thing to wipe down if you think about it with the masturbation. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:25:42 Drew Yeah. You're going to hell. Let's go to commercial.

1:25:47 Adam I want to talk to Nick for a second about masturbating.

1:25:50 Drew You've been really working on angrying people for the last couple of nights.

1:25:53 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

1:25:54 Caller You go to hell and you die.

1:25:56 311 He's going for the Howard Stern market with do you trim your bush comment to the girl.

1:26:00 Adam That's right. I know what the kids want to hear. Titillation, everybody.

1:26:05 311 Titillation.

1:26:06 Adam Here's the thing. When you masturbate, the seed that comes out of you, it gets everywhere, and it's a mess.

1:26:15 311 Put a sock over it.

1:26:17 Adam Over it? I'm going to try that. I am because the problem is certain things are easier to get the seed out of than other things. The testicles, I swear to God, I got stuff on there from high school that I haven't been able to get out. It's irregular shaped. It's got a lot of crevasses in it. There's hair.

1:26:36 311 Down in the belly button.

1:26:38 Adam Yeah. You can't get at all parts of it. It's not like that smooth part of your belly. You take a squeegee, it's right. I use like a cake frosting spatula. Then I do a wrist action. I go whoop, just flies right into the trash can. The lid shuts behind it. It's great. I'm like Zorro, Whacko. But it gets on the testicles. I mean, you have to soak them in vinegar. Right, Drew?

1:27:06 Drew Right, Adam.

1:27:08 Adam All right.

1:27:09 311 Suck.

1:27:10 Adam We're going to take a little break and we'll be back after this. Loveline. Be right back. Fix yourself up.

1:27:49 Drew Anyway, just for those of you who are just tuning in, Adam threw open a door and practically took my head off. And then went, hey, is that you? Is that your head? You just go fix yourself up.

1:27:59 311 There's no apology, no nothing.

1:28:00 Adam That's my way of apologizing. Can't you read me?

1:28:03 Drew He literally acknowledged me, see? Normally, it wouldn't be acknowledged.

1:28:07 Adam Well, you really shouldn't have had your head there by the door. Nick Hexum is our guest tonight. His band is 311, of course, and Soundsystem is the name of the CD. We'll get back to the phones. Kim?

1:28:20 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:28:21 Adam You're 17, and Cypress Hill will be in here tomorrow night. What's up?

1:28:24 Caller First of all, I just wanted to say, Nick, you are great, and 311 is the best band, really.

1:28:30 Drew Awesome.

1:28:31 Caller My problem is, most of the guys or a lot of them that I have been or am attracted to turn out to be bisexual.

1:28:39 Adam That's bad.

1:28:40 Caller Is that just like a coincidence or is it?

1:28:43 Adam No.

1:28:44 311 These are young guys? There are no coincidences.

1:28:46 Caller Yeah.

1:28:47 311 There's not really that many actual true bisexual guys. I mean, usually they're just saying that because they want to soften the blow of being gay.

1:28:54 Adam Right. Yeah, absolutely.

1:28:57 Drew Who are they suffering the blow to?

1:28:58 Adam I always say, listen, bisexual is-

1:29:00 311 Society.

1:29:01 Adam Yeah, it's bisexual.

1:29:02 311 It's easier to accept anyway.

1:29:03 Adam Well, yeah, I'm with Nick 1000 percent. I think there's bisexual women. Bisexual men are not bisexual. As you've heard me say before, the by part is them saying bye to chicks and hello to homo. It's not bye, it's bye bye. Bye bye girls, bye vagina. I'll miss you. Hello penis. They said bye to bye and hello to homo. That's what bye is.

1:29:32 Drew But there are guys that have pretty chaotic sense of their own sexuality.

1:29:36 Adam And they are sort of all over the place.

1:29:38 Drew Yeah.

1:29:39 Adam Yeah. I don't think that's bye sexuality as much as it's just sort of chaos.

1:29:43 Drew You acting out chaos.

1:29:44 Adam Yeah.

1:29:45 Caller Yeah, like even most of my guy friends, they are gay. I mean, there's something.

1:29:49 Adam Let me, bye is gay with a publicist. That's basically what bye is. You know, Elton John is bye. You know, give me a break. That is gay with a publicist there. First, it's, I'm not gay. You know, first it's, I don't like guys. And then it goes into, well, I like some guys some of the time. And then, you know, lo and behold, magically X amount of years later, it's just pure gay now. How many guys come in dancing in a duck suit? You got to figure. Kim?

1:30:22 Caller Yeah.

1:30:23 Adam All right. So why with you and all the troubled people? And not that you're troubled because you're bye, but these guys are chaotic and we want to know why you're attracted to chaotic guys, not bye guys.

1:30:37 Caller Wait, I'm not bye.

1:30:39 Adam I know.

1:30:40 Caller With the guys that I like, they turn, I turn, like it turns out that I find out they are or that they're gay even.

1:30:48 Adam Okay. Are you trying to save people that are sort of chaotic?

1:30:53 Caller Sometimes.

1:30:54 Adam All right. Where's your dad? Was he out of control? Was he a drinker? Was he, were you trying to save him?

1:31:00 Caller Well, I didn't really grow up knowing my dad.

1:31:04 Drew Did you know him at an early age though?

1:31:06 Caller No.

1:31:07 Drew Not at all?

1:31:08 Caller No.

1:31:08 Adam So you never knew him?

1:31:09 Caller No.

1:31:10 Adam No step dads?

1:31:11 Caller No.

1:31:11 Adam And so you just raised by mama?

1:31:13 Caller Yeah.

1:31:14 Adam And?

1:31:15 Drew What happened to your dad?

1:31:17 Caller Well, they got separated and I just never had contact with him and I still don't.

1:31:21 Drew They were separated while she was still pregnant?

1:31:23 Caller Well, when I was like not even one year old.

1:31:27 Adam Uh-huh. That's got to hurt. Imagine just sort of growing up with the reality of, yeah, there's a guy out there who's my dad. He's just not interested in coming by and saying hi once in a while. Did you ever get any cards from him at Christmas or anything like that?

1:31:45 Caller Every couple of years, yeah.

1:31:48 Adam God, in a way.

1:31:50 Drew It's even worse.

1:31:51 Adam Yeah, isn't it worse?

1:31:52 Drew You'd rather just create a fantasy that he was dead.

1:31:56 Adam Yeah, I really would. I mean, if I was the mother, I would say, listen, the guy died, he was a fighter pilot, he was over Hanoi in 1971, and MIG shot him down, and you know, they found him clutching your picture kind of thing, and just leave it at that. You know what I'm saying? Better than once every, you know, Olympic season, you get the card filled with the dimes one for every year you've been born. You know what I mean? I mean, that's just got to F with you even more. He's around, he's certainly aware you're around, but he's only mildly interested in you.

1:32:37 Drew He's not even mildly.

1:32:38 Adam No, it's once in a while.

1:32:39 Drew He just wants you to know he's around.

1:32:40 Adam That's why he gets a hair up his ass and sends you a little something, but don't look for anything next year. All right, why is she with Bi? I don't know. I think it's more like she's with Chaotic Guys than she's with Bi Guys.

1:32:53 Drew Chaotic Guys area, yeah.

1:32:54 Adam Isaac, you're 18.

1:32:56 Caller Yeah.

1:32:56 Adam After sex, you aren't interested in doing anything else.

1:33:00 Caller No.

1:33:01 Adam Sexually?

1:33:02 Caller Yeah.

1:33:03 Adam Okay. That's why it's after sex. You see, if you're interested in doing more after sex, you'd just be in sex.

1:33:11 Caller Yeah.

1:33:11 Adam It would be a continuation of the sex. You wouldn't know where it stopped. You understand?

1:33:16 Caller Yeah.

1:33:17 Adam So you're done with the sex, and now you want to watch TV, right?

1:33:22 Caller No. I don't even think that I really like them.

1:33:29 Drew You want to get away?

1:33:31 Caller Yeah, kind of.

1:33:32 Adam Right.

1:33:32 Caller But then afterwards, I can't even stand the girl.

1:33:35 Adam You can't even stand them?

1:33:37 Caller Yeah.

1:33:37 Adam Is this your girlfriend or is this anybody?

1:33:40 Caller My girlfriend.

1:33:41 Adam Okay.

1:33:41 Caller There's more than one, you know.

1:33:43 Adam Okay. You're quite a player, are you, Isaac?

1:33:46 Caller Kind of.

1:33:47 Adam Okay.

1:33:48 Drew A lot of shucks.

1:33:49 Adam You got a lot of women and you're not particularly attached to any of them and I guess you don't want to be because you're with a lot of them.

1:33:56 Caller Yeah.

1:33:56 Drew Well, not only that, you demean them for sleeping with you.

1:33:59 Adam Right.

1:33:59 Drew Which is a ridiculous thing.

1:34:01 Adam Right. They must be slut so they wouldn't have slept with Isaac.

1:34:04 311 The likes of me.

1:34:05 Adam That's a real Groucho Marx approach to intercourse.

1:34:09 Drew Right.

1:34:09 Adam Okay. Hey, Isaac.

1:34:11 Drew You probably don't understand what you mean.

1:34:12 Adam I know. Groucho said he wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have him as a member. So, Isaac, you're 18. That's fine. Don't get anyone pregnant, okay?

1:34:23 Caller Yeah. It came close, kind of.

1:34:25 Adam All right.

1:34:25 Drew We'll get the money out. Put the condoms on.

1:34:28 Adam Read a book. Here we go.

1:34:30 Drew Tune in to drdrew.com. We've got all sorts of contraception information and free condoms.

1:34:34 Adam Really?

1:34:34 Drew We will be. Not yet. We will be.

1:34:36 Adam Kelly.

1:34:37 Caller Hello.

1:34:38 Adam You're 24. You constantly have to pee.

1:34:42 Caller Yeah.

1:34:43 Adam All the time, not just when you're having sex?

1:34:46 Caller Okay. Imagine how this would be. All right. You drink a 32-ounce soda. Okay. Just like a medium or a large size soda. Then after that, to top it off, you're on crutches because you just sprained your ankle. Okay? All right. So you drink this 32-ounce soda, and then you have to freaking render that to five times after drinking it. It's not like, okay, you have friends, they can drink a 32-ounce soda, they can sit on the toilet twice, maybe get it out in two long, nice whizzes. But you've got to go like five times, and you go in the bathroom, you sit down like this.

1:35:25 Drew Right. Has it been this way your whole life?

1:35:28 Caller No. For the past three years.

1:35:30 Caller Three years.

1:35:31 Caller Two of my really good friends, they had it happen to them around the same time in all three of us.

1:35:37 Adam Twenty-four, right? Yeah.

1:35:39 Caller Is this an age thing?

1:35:40 Adam What did you do? You sprained your ankle running to the bathroom or?

1:35:44 Caller I was celebrating.

1:35:45 Caller I just graduated from college.

1:35:46 Drew Are you on medication?

1:35:49 Caller No, I'm not.

1:35:50 Drew Birth control pills?

1:35:52 Caller No.

1:35:53 Drew Nothing?

1:35:53 Caller No.

1:35:55 Adam You busted your ankle celebrating after college?

1:35:58 Caller Yeah. My housemates and I were just hanging out and they kept putting bottles of vodka in my face and beer.

1:36:06 Drew Kelly?

1:36:06 Caller I went on the trampoline like a big idiot and that's my ankle, but this has nothing to do with the celebrity.

1:36:11 Adam You went on the trampoline? Where's the trampoline?

1:36:14 Caller It's here.

1:36:16 Adam Oh, it's here?

1:36:17 Drew Okay.

1:36:18 Caller We live in Bonnydew and it's like-

1:36:19 Adam Kelly, give that diploma back, would you?

1:36:23 311 I've lost.

1:36:25 Caller What's going on here?

1:36:26 Adam What did you graduate? What was your major?

1:36:30 Caller No. I'm not going to tell you.

1:36:31 Adam Come on. It was something useless, right?

1:36:34 311 Communication.

1:36:35 Caller No, because you're going to ask the same freaking question that everybody asks if I tell you my major.

1:36:40 Adam All right. Now you have to tell us.

1:36:42 Caller You're going to say, really, I majored in the same thing.

1:36:44 311 Out with it.

1:36:45 Drew Okay.

1:36:45 Caller Philosophy.

1:36:47 Adam Okay. That's where we get the-

1:36:48 311 I majored in the same thing for real.

1:36:50 Drew Yeah.

1:36:50 Adam Really? I figured.

1:36:52 Drew What kind of philosophy? Wait, I'm not done with her. What kind of philosophy?

1:36:55 Caller Wait, wait.

1:36:56 Caller Who said that?

1:36:56 Caller Who did that?

1:36:57 Drew Drew.

1:36:58 Caller Drew.

1:36:58 Caller Yeah.

1:36:58 Drew What kind of philosophy?

1:37:01 Caller I don't know. Continental kind of stuff.

1:37:03 Drew Hey, listen. Do you- What? Western philosophy. Do you do a lot of bicycling or spinning?

1:37:11 Adam Mountain biking.

1:37:12 Drew How long have you been doing that?

1:37:13 Caller Mountain biking?

1:37:14 Caller Yes. Like a couple of years.

1:37:17 Drew Kelly? Three years.

1:37:19 Caller Dude, are you serious?

1:37:21 Drew Dead serious. I hear this all the time.

1:37:24 Caller Besides mountain biking?

1:37:25 Drew Spinning. Spinning and bikers get this all the time. Oh, spinning. Spinning, that exercise we sit on a bicycle seat.

1:37:31 Adam Listen, how do you graduate college? You can't even have a conversation. Where's the trampoline here? Talk about philosophy, Major. Man, that's philosophy.

1:37:39 Drew Get yourself one of those super special bice- those foam spike seats. And also don't ride on tough terrain. It's bicycling.

1:37:47 Adam Where is the trampoline?

1:37:50 311 Here.

1:37:50 Adam Here. Come on.

1:37:53 311 This is-

1:37:53 Adam This is what we're cranking out of our- If the Chancellor of this college is listening to this call, he or she should kill themselves for what they're putting out. The products-

1:38:03 Drew During the break, we will. They will.

1:38:04 Adam Oh.

1:38:05 Drew Here we go.

1:38:05 Adam For Christ's sake. I could barely talk to her. All right. We'll be back.

1:38:10 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:38:11 Caller Okay.

1:38:12 Caller Let's do it.

1:38:14 Caller Call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:38:18 311 Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:38:55 Adam All right. That is the show. I want to thank Nick Hexum for coming in, I should say, from 311. Always a good time. And don't take such a long, long break. Like I said, it's been a few years since 311 was in here.

1:39:10 311 We're back in full effect, though. I just want to say real quick thanks to all those people that said all those cool things. And I'm really inspired to hear all those people are listening and waiting to see us next time and stuff.

1:39:20 Adam And I want to say too, as long as you're saying, we have a lot of bands on this show and a lot of times they don't get calls for them. Or if they do, they go, eh, when you come into Portland. But they don't say like, really dig your stuff. Don't want to listen to the radio unless your stuff is on it and all that. So it's quite a high praise.

1:39:41 311 Our fans are the best, man.

1:39:43 Adam All right, couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys. 311, everybody, Sound Systems, the name of the CD, go out and get it. Cypress Hill tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Well now.

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Wednesday, December 15, 1999