Episode 1000754887180

0:51 100.7, the buzz. KQBC, Seattle.

0:55 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:01 Content, content.

1:03 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11 Voiceover Loveline, coast to coast.

1:14 Voiceover Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tomorrow night Everclear will be on the show. It'll be good to see those guys. Drew, I'll enjoy watching you dance when you talk to Art about missing his wedding.

1:37 Drew Completely missing him.

1:38 Adam And not even calling. Tonight we have Valarie Rae Miller and Richard Gunn, both from Dark Angel. Well, the big hit on Fox, Tuesday night, 9 o'clock. And I would say one of the, well, maybe I'd say the biggest hit of the new fall lineup. Wouldn't you guys say that?

1:57 Guest I definitely have to agree with you. I'm a kicking butt.

2:00 Adam Yeah, that's nice. And this is, what's his name, did the Titanic, did this? Cameron.

2:06 Guest James Cameron.

2:11 Adam And is he, now, what did he do, did he write the pilot, did he come up with it or how involved is he?

2:19 Guest Yeah, he co-wrote the pilot and he oversees a lot of production aspects on the show.

2:26 Adam Did he cast you guys or was he involved with that?

2:28 Yeah, he had a hand in that.

2:33 Guest He and his partner Charles H. Eglee were the main people that cast it.

2:38 Adam So he's around, he's not just put his name on it and walked away?

2:42 Guest No, no, he's there.

2:43 Guest He's definitely around.

2:44 Drew He has a huge influence.

2:45 Adam You did that with that breakfast cereal in the mid-90s, remember?

2:49 What cereal?

2:50 Adam Drew Pops or something. Yeah, just Ostroup Pops, Doc Pops, you just put your name on it, walked away and ate kids' die.

2:56 Guest Yeah, but what could he do with the breakfast cereal?

2:59 Adam Yeah, it's true. What's he supposed to do?

3:00 Guest Overseed production.

3:01 Adam Go down to Battle Creek, Michigan and stuff it in a box? You're right. Very good point, Richard. You found a friend in Richard over here.

3:09 Drew Finally, somebody to defend me.

3:10 Adam Valarie Rae Miller is also going to be found on One Saturday Morning. That's that ABC kid show. I think I have a cartoon that's on that One Saturday Morning.

3:21 Guest What's your cartoon?

3:22 Adam Is it Buzz Lightyear? Is that on One Saturday Morning?

3:26 Guest It's on ABC. Actually, you know what? It is on our lineup. It's on before the actual time slot that I'm in. But that's all the whole morning. It's called One Saturday Morning.

3:35 Adam Yeah.

3:36 Guest Yeah.

3:36 Adam Yeah, we got that going.

3:37 Guest Yeah. We got a connection going here, baby.

3:40 Adam Yeah, that's huge. That's going to carry us for the next 12 to 13 minutes. I go 12, 13. OK. So tell us about your character on the show. Drew and I have never seen the show because we leave for work when the show is on every night. At least in theory, we do. Yeah, I do. Yeah, Drew does. I'm running. I'm scrambling to leave. So we've not yet seen the show. Of course, it aired tonight. But tell us about your character, Valerie.

4:07 Guest Well, you guys are big ballers. First of all, I need to tell you you need to get a VCR.

4:11 Drew I've got T-Bow.

4:13 Guest Well, you're high class, man.

4:15 Guest You're going into the future.

4:17 Adam Mine only records porn. Oh, no, wait a minute.

4:21 Guest Yeah, I'm familiar with the VCR.

4:23 Adam I'm wrong. It only plays porn. It will record anything, but I have no way of watching that.

4:28 Guest Because you have trouble reaching the controls with all the calluses on your hands.

4:32 Guest Oh.

4:36 Guest Go back to my character.

4:37 Adam Yeah, you're a lesbian, right?

4:38 Guest Yeah. Nice. And I'm a quiet, shy person in real life, so it's really quite a stretch for me. She's kind of feisty and she's pretty much the life of the party.

4:51 Adam What did the ABC people think about you going over to Fox and playing a big Lesbo?

4:57 Guest I don't know how big she is. She's about 5'5, 5'6.

5:01 Drew It's the Disney people.

5:02 Guest There you go.

5:04 Adam Yeah, you're doing One Saturday Morning. I mean, the kids are going, Mommy, that's the lesbian from the show where they kill.

5:11 Guest Well, you know what's funny, actually? I look totally different.

5:16 Adam Yeah.

5:17 Guest It's like people don't usually even put it together.

5:19 Adam No, the kids know. The kids know.

5:21 Guest You would think that, but I can walk around and people, even when I look exactly the same as the character on One Saturday Morning, I can walk into a store and little kids will stare at me forever and they go, you look just like that girl. On One Saturday Morning, but I don't really look that much like either character.

5:39 Adam Kids do that because they think people on TV live inside the TV.

5:43 Guest Right, exactly.

5:43 Adam Drew's kids are pretty freaked when they see him, right?

5:46 Yeah.

5:47 Adam Do they watch extra? What are you on now, Drew? Do you on TV? Do you have a show?

5:52 Guest No.

5:53 Adam Okay, very well. And Richard, let's talk about your character.

5:57 Guest Well, first of all, I have to say, I used to think that people lived inside the TV when I was a kid.

6:01 Adam Right.

6:02 Guest So I can verify that.

6:04 Guest I can verify that. Yeah, I'm telling you about Valerie. That's what I thought. No, my character's name is Sketchy. He's kind of a... Sketchy dude... .screws up a lot. Yeah, he screws up a lot. Kind of looking for an angle. But he's not a malicious person. He's not out to really get anybody. He's just trying to get by in this post-apocalyptic world.

6:34 Adam His parents didn't name him Sketchy, though. His friends did via his actions, right?

6:38 Guest Yeah, his name's Calvin.

6:40 Adam Right.

6:40 Guest All of our names are like that. All of our names are kind of symbolic of a personality or a character trait. I'm Original Cindy.

6:47 Oh, I see.

6:47 Adam You're not Lesby. You're not that Lesby.

6:48 Guest Not that Lesby.

6:49 Adam Lesby Cindy?

6:50 Lesby.

6:51 Adam Rachel?

6:52 Yeah.

6:53 Adam You're 33. What's up?

6:55 Caller I have a question. I'm on Paxil, and I was wondering if Viagra would help with the sexual side effects.

7:01 Drew The side effect where you lose your sex drive entirely?

7:04 Caller Yeah.

7:07 Drew What's that?

7:07 Caller Well, and the loss of sensation, too. Like, very hard to reach orgasm.

7:11 Drew Yeah. Does sex kind of seem not even make sense to you at some point? Yeah.

7:17 Caller Totally.

7:17 Drew Yeah. Women, they shut down in these SSRIs. It's like sex is like, what are they doing? Ooh, they're touching. Why are they doing that?

7:25 Guest Can I ask something? How long have you been on it?

7:28 Caller I've been on Taxil for two years, but I was on Prozac like seven years prior to that.

7:33 Drew Prozac is even worse sometimes.

7:35 Adam How about Kickstarter or libido?

7:37 Drew Well, Rachel, sometimes adding wellbutrin will do it. Okay.

7:42 Caller I did. They did do that. I just had so many side effects on it.

7:46 Drew Headache and whatnot.

7:47 Caller Oh, gosh. And then I also kind of, I was kind of aggressive.

7:50 Drew Yeah. How about switching over to Sarazone?

7:55 Caller I haven't tried that.

7:57 Drew That or Remron, those don't have the sexual side effect.

7:59 Adam All right, but why don't you let her take the, what you want to take?

8:04 Guest Viagra.

8:04 Adam Oh, the Viagra, yeah.

8:06 Drew Some people have suggested that that's useful, but it's really no science to base that on.

8:10 Adam You know women, you give them a sugar pill and tell them it's gonna make their boobs bigger and their ass smaller and they gobble it right up.

8:17 Guest Not like men, men are so smart, men don't even read the package to know what it's supposed to do.

8:22 Adam Right, but that's why we don't believe it. We're skeptics. I'm saying if you gave her Viagra and you waited, if you gave her a diamond from a Lucky Charms box, one of the blue diamonds, and I think, is that what the Viagra is based on?

8:36 Drew This is a serious shot.

8:37 Adam I know, but if I gave her one of these, if I gave her one of these blue diamonds from a Lucky Charms box, and I said, Come on, it's the crescent moon. No, I'm going with the blue diamond, you retard, because that's what Viagra looks like.

8:49 Drew I see, I see.

8:50 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake.

8:52 Drew How did you know that's what it looked like? You never heard of me, you knew what Viagra looked like. How do you know what Viagra looks like?

8:57 Guest Those blue diamonds, by the way, they look like a little...

8:59 Guest Now it's twitching, look at the leg. Look at the leg.

9:02 Adam First off, how dare you insinuate that I'm hooked on Viagra?

9:05 Drew I don't know how the hell you know what it looks like.

9:07 Guest Now it's unhooked.

9:08 Adam No, the Viagra has been, it's been a deluge of Viagra pictures in the media. And all over the place.

9:16 Guest Exactly.

9:17 Guest That kind of works with the porno.

9:19 Adam Anderson, did you? Oh, for Christ's sake. And did you know it was a blue diamond shaped pill?

9:25 Guest Only because you were telling me about it earlier.

9:27 Adam Oh.

9:30 I see the smoke.

9:31 Adam Yeah, when you were blowing me?

9:33 Drew They know. Okay.

9:34 Guest Listen, I'm here if you want to share anything with me, tell the lesbian.

9:38 Adam How dare everyone? Listen, I'm going to throw it to the Peanut Gallery. Do you guys know what Viagra looks like?

9:44 Drew Peter, how the hell do you know what Viagra looks like?

9:45 Guest He's just nodding.

9:46 Drew He's taking it.

9:46 Adam Okay.

9:47 Drew All right.

9:47 Adam That's it. Oh, he's taking it.

9:48 Guest Taking one.

9:49 Adam We're not helping my case at all. I don't know. I've seen a picture of it a thousand times on that television. Just that one picture.

9:55 Drew I've prescribed it a thousand times. I barely know what it looks like.

9:58 Adam Everyone knows what Viagra is. That blue diamond shape.

10:01 Drew What does Hexal look like?

10:03 Adam I don't know.

10:03 Drew What does Prozac look like?

10:04 Adam Let me explain something. Prozac, I'm going as a white man. Is it like Hexagon?

10:10 Drew It's a capsule. It's yellow and gray.

10:12 Adam Okay. I've made my point.

10:14 Caller Touche.

10:15 Adam Here's what I'm saying. None of these other drugs have been labeled. First off, they're not about sex. There's not all the media hype around these things. They didn't come out a year ago. The media was a buzz about these things.

10:30 Drew No buzz about Prozac and the media?

10:32 Adam They were showing pictures. Yeah, but it's not exciting or titillating to show a picture.

10:36 Guest It's an easy sell because it's about sex. It's something that affects sex.

10:40 Adam I've seen the picture a million times. So the point is, if I handed her a blue diamond from the Lucky Charms box and told her 20 minutes later, you can feel it, can't you, baby? I mean, you're getting moist, right? She'd probably say, yeah, I feel a little tingly down there. Then we can get it on. All right. Have the leprechaun banger. The point is, is she should take the Viagra. I bet it would kickstarter. May not be a good long term thing. I bet it'd be good for one night.

11:08 Drew Oh, yes, it would probably work. That's true.

11:09 Adam All right. Alex, you're 16.

11:13 Caller Yeah.

11:13 Caller I just want to say you guys are the best. And I have a question for Dr. Drew.

11:18 Caller Every time I ejaculate, I still have an erection. I don't know. That's normal.

11:23 Drew For 16.

11:24 Exactly.

11:25 Caller Yeah.

11:25 Drew God damn it. That's normal.

11:27 Adam Right.

11:27 Guest That's something to be proud of.

11:28 Guest Yeah, that's good for you, man.

11:29 Guest In another few years, you'll be praying for that.

11:32 Drew No.

11:32 Adam How long does it stay around?

11:35 For like 10 or 15 minutes.

11:37 Adam Yeah, that's fine.

11:38 Yeah.

11:38 Guest You should brag about that.

11:39 Guest How tall are you, baby?

11:42 511.

11:43 Guest Hold on.

11:45 Adam 16. Valarie is on a hit show. She's got to go out with celebrity types now. All right, Alex. Yes.

11:52 Drew You're fine.

11:53 Caller All right. Thanks.

11:54 Adam Did you do we really need to answer that question? The erection stays around.

12:00 Guest You just wanted to brag.

12:01 Adam At 16, your penis is saying to your scrotum, hey, let's go. I'm still up.

12:08 Drew At 16, everything you want to know, is it normal? Whatever you're doing, you got to know that it's normal, whatever it is. Nothing, everything's new and different.

12:17 Adam Katie? Okay. I was peeing on my friends thinking everyone must do this.

12:24 Guest Katie, don't listen to this.

12:25 Adam It turns out they are.

12:26 Guest Don't lose your train of thought.

12:27 Adam Is this normal? What's going on? I didn't even question it. I was like, I wonder why everyone else isn't peeing on their friends at the exact same time I'm doing it. Katie, 14, what's up?

12:37 Yeah, I had a question about my mom's heroin addiction. She's 38 and she's been on heroin for the past 20 years, off and on. I have a youngest brother, he's five, and she was on heroin when she was pregnant with him. Is that like dangerous for when he gets older? Can he like have like maybe a chance of getting hooked on a drug?

12:58 Drew No, it's no more really than you. Both of you are at risk. It's about 50-50 for each of you that you'd have the gene for addiction. And then being raised in an addictive family sort of seems to add risk. to the situation.

13:11 Adam Yeah, but you see, you could, you got that alcoholic gene which can go in any direction. But even if your mom had had kicked heroin five years before you or your brother came around, you'd still have the same chance.

13:24 Drew No, you'd still have the same biological chance.

13:27 Adam Yeah, the same biological chance.

13:28 Drew Being reared by a heroin addicted mother creates the kind of emotional disturbances that people would have.

13:33 Adam She's not asking that, although we should address that. But she's saying, does he have some trace of heroin coursing through his veins somewhere?

13:41 Drew The deal with heroin during pregnancy is it puts the whole pregnancy at risk. And oftentimes they abort spontaneously. It's a mess. But once they get through the pregnancy, it's nothing special.

13:51 Adam It turns out it's good for the kid.

13:53 Drew Provide their HIV negative, hepatitis C negative, that kind of thing.

13:56 I have another question. My sister, she's 18 and she's 8 months pregnant.

14:01 Adam How many kids do junkies have these days?

14:04 I have 5 kids in my family.

14:05 Adam Oh, I'd really like to put just a little bit of air in that mother of yours syringe and put her down. Just put her right down in the ground.

14:16 Caller We're all really great kids though.

14:18 We have a nice family. Well, except for my mom, but she's gone.

14:21 Adam Yeah.

14:22 We're Jehovah's Witnesses actually.

14:24 Adam Oh, really?

14:25 Yeah.

14:25 Adam Who's Jehovah's Witness?

14:27 My family.

14:27 Caller Was she?

14:28 Guest Was your mom took off?

14:29 No, my mom's not, no. We just recently came in like about three years ago. Mom's been gone for like eight years maybe.

14:35 Caller Wow.

14:36 Drew You have a step mom?

14:38 Huh?

14:38 Drew You have a step mom?

14:39 No, no.

14:40 Guest So what happened with your sister? You were telling us about your 18 year old sister.

14:42 Yeah, she kind of accidentally in a way got pregnant and she's 18. Oops. Yeah.

14:48 Guest Slipped and fell.

14:49 Well, under the wrong circumstance. She still was with our family and stuff and she's eight months pregnant. And the guy who impregnated her, he has ADD. Is that going to affect the baby?

15:02 Drew It's about the same as with addiction. In fact, ADD, I will predict, and that young fellow probably is addiction and not just ADD. So it's really addiction, Gene. Again, we're talking about.

15:13 Adam Wait a minute. Are they married?

15:14 No.

15:15 Adam What about Jehovah?

15:16 Yeah, I know. Actually, she met the guy through my mom's drug recovery program.

15:21 Adam I see. Hey, Katie.

15:23 Yeah.

15:24 Adam Here's what I'm thinking. Where are you calling from?

15:26 Caller California, Stockton.

15:27 Adam I see. You need to move. First off, Stockton may, while technically being in California, I don't look at as part of California. That's number one.

15:36 Caller I could.

15:36 Adam One day I'll give you a list of the places that are only geographically. But emotionally, they're not part of California. When people are like, you know, in the Midwest and it's snowing, they're talking about the California lifestyle, they're not picturing junkies in Stockton. I can guarantee you.

15:52 Guest Is Orange County in California?

15:54 Adam It's right on the outskirts. Yeah, it's it's close. Yeah, it's right there. Once in a while, some of those people are thinking about white people get over the border and they make it into LA proper.

16:04 Caller But she's supposed to.

16:05 Adam Katie, here's what you need to do. OK, you're you're you know, your nephew's got a 50 50 chance of being 80 D. Your sister's got a 50. Everyone's got a 50 50 chance. That all adds up to about 250 percent. You've got to get out of there. Just turn 18. Do do well in school and go far away to college. Because even if everyone doesn't become what they could be, it's still a bad family. That's a bunch of jokers. You got a good head on your shoulders and you got to use your brain, go to school and get some scholarship and get out of there.

16:38 Caller Okay.

16:38 Adam All right?

16:39 Caller I will.

16:39 Adam All right. Is there a Kids of Junkie Scholarship? Because to me that trumps any color, any religion, any race. You know what I mean? As far as like, it's like, well you're half Cherokee. Wait a minute Tonto. Hold on. Get out of the way. My mom's a junkie. Okay. You get a free ride.

16:57 Guest You know what? You know what? I'm from a really rough background and what it does for you is it makes you a much stronger person and it sounds like people say it and you just say it and you say it and you say it but I've been through so much stuff in my lifetime and not that I would wish to have that happen but since it did, I mean, just the way I deal with life on a daily basis is, you know, really good for me and not too much ruffles my feathers. So I mean, you have that going for you.

17:21 Adam But it makes a few people stronger and they, you know, host Saturday morning shows and get land rolls on Dark Angel but the other 98% of them just turn into junkies themselves.

17:34 Guest I think, for the most part, I don't, I don't statistically, that's true.

17:38 Adam Statistically, yeah.

17:39 Guest I mean, but it's also one of those things where people don't really like, you don't really hear that other people have made it out. And so if you don't know any better, you're in the environment that you're in. Like you said, for her to leave, okay, so leave. I agree with you with that. As long as you get yourself and you know that there's a, there's something else that you can do and you truly believe it, then you've already conquered your worst enemy.

17:58 Adam I'm not, I'm not so worried about her because she's 14. She's calling the show. She's asking, she's asking the right question. She's got four or five other brothers and sisters. That'll be the other 80 or 90 percent that didn't get out.

18:10 Guest But she's definitely one of those people that could be in the 10 percent.

18:13 Adam Absolutely. I wish it was that high by the way. Yeah, Richard. But it can be.

18:18 Guest She's going to stay. She stays in the house. She'll probably follow in the rest of their footsteps like you're saying.

18:26 Guest You wind up supporting a bunch of people.

18:28 Adam Right. Oh yeah. Yeah. Get out of there. No forwarding address, John. Oh, yes. Hey, you're 15. What's up?

18:36 I was going to say, hey, both you guys, Dr. Drew and Adam, you guys rock. Listen, you guys almost every day.

18:41 Caller And I've mentioned for Dr. Drew. I recently started going down with my girlfriend.

18:45 Caller I want to know, like, what specifically can I catch?

18:49 Drew Anything.

18:50 Like a what?

18:51 Drew Anything you can name.

18:53 Guest You need to catch a school bus if you're 15.

18:55 Adam How about scurvy or malaria?

18:58 Drew Any sexually transmitted disease you can name, you can get through oral sex.

19:01 Guest Isn't it true that you can catch, man can catch HIV easier from performing cunnilingus than from having penitentiary?

19:12 Adam I don't know if that's true, but I'm behind it 110%.

19:14 Guest You can get a yeast infection in your throat.

19:17 Drew Not been proven yet, but.

19:18 Guest A guy in college, I thought it was so gross.

19:20 Guest Really?

19:20 Caller Yeah.

19:21 Adam Oh yeah, that thrush?

19:23 Caller Yeah. How would you not know?

19:26 Guest Isn't there something that should tip you off?

19:27 Drew Something that's wrong?

19:29 Guest He got that?

19:30 Drew Yeah. There's something else going on.

19:31 Adam Valarie, let me tell you something. If you're going down on a chick with a yeast infection.

19:34 Guest That's what I was saying, you should know, right?

19:36 Adam You don't have the keenest.

19:38 Caller So what could that have been, Drew?

19:39 Guest That's what they told me, I don't know.

19:41 Drew That the guy had a yeast infection?

19:43 Guest That's what all of his friends said.

19:45 Drew No. All of his friends.

19:46 Guest No, I mean, I know him, but I didn't.

19:48 Drew You can get oral thrush, but this means it's something with your immune system.

19:51 Guest No, I wouldn't be surprised. He was kind of junky.

19:53 Drew Yeah.

19:54 Adam All right. Hey, what college? Is this junior college?

19:57 Guest No.

19:58 Adam Regular college?

19:59 Guest Yeah, regular college.

19:59 Adam What college you got in?

20:00 Guest North Texas.

20:01 Adam No, I never heard of that. Sorry.

20:05 Caller Did everybody hear that one?

20:06 Adam We haven't been there?

20:07 Drew We haven't been there.

20:08 Guest I'm sorry.

20:09 Caller You have to pick another one.

20:11 Adam All right, John, you could get whatever you can get.

20:14 Drew How old is your girlfriend?

20:16 Caller She's 15 also.

20:16 Drew Is she a virgin?

20:18 Caller Yeah.

20:19 Drew Okay, how is it that you would get an STD from someone who's never had sex?

20:23 Caller Good point.

20:24 Drew The whole definition of sexually transmitted.

20:27 Adam Well, airborne herpes. You never heard of that?

20:31 Caller I am, but I'm not sure she is.

20:32 Guest You're going to swat those things out of your head.

20:35 Caller I see.

20:36 Drew Well, you know, you're not, you don't have a trained eye and even a trained eye. Most of the stuff you can't see. So it's part of the risk of getting sexually active. If you want to reduce your risk, get a dental dam.

20:46 Adam No, he's not going to do that. He's, he's, she's 15. She's fine. Her experience is limited. If she has any at all, you're fine, John. Give me a big green light to get down there and give her an opportunity to fake an orgasm while you're giving her all sex.

21:00 Guest Interrogator, John.

21:02 Adam Yeah, she'll be happy. Don't worry. All right, John. Okay, thanks a lot. Jesus, thank God I never went down on anyone at 15. It would have been a mess. I would have been eating. I would know what to do. I'd be cracking jokes. You're holding up stuff. You're a lifesaver. I would have been like, I would have been checking every two minutes. How's that? Is it all right? I'll be in the vagina if you need me.

21:29 Guest Ew, Drew. Drew is brushing through his hair.

21:32 Adam You don't mind if I eat while I'm thumbing you, do you? Oh, I always thought the hole was at the top part, but it's down around the bottom. Is everyone that way or is that? Oh, stop talking.

21:45 Caller Okay.

21:46 Adam Yeah. No, yeah, we should shut the light.

21:49 Caller You're right.

21:51 Adam Oh, God.

21:52 Drew No, no, we're on break.

21:53 Adam We're on break?

21:54 Drew I make a phone call.

21:55 Adam Drew's got to make a phone call.

21:56 Drew I do. I get paged twice, three times here.

21:58 Adam How dare they? What? Who paged you?

22:00 Drew I don't know.

22:01 Adam Well, hold on. Let me sell this call. Philip?

22:04 Drew Yeah.

22:05 Adam Drew, don't call people back so fast. It makes them think you're going to call back fast next time.

22:09 Drew I know, but it's an emergency.

22:11 Adam How many of those emergencies are actual emergencies?

22:13 Drew One out of ten.

22:14 Adam Ten?

22:14 Guest Yeah, it's statistics, don't you?

22:16 Adam One out of ten or one out of twenty with you?

22:18 Guest Drew, do you just make these up or do you really have them somewhere?

22:20 Drew This is ballpark. This is me.

22:21 Guest So who did this study?

22:23 Drew No, no, this is just me. Oh, okay.

22:25 Guest In general.

22:26 Adam I've heard you page a thousand times. Never been anything serious with anyone under 90. Philip?

22:32 Yeah.

22:32 Adam You're 25?

22:33 Caller Yes.

22:34 Adam All right. You have one testicle?

22:35 Caller No, I have one swollen testicle.

22:38 Adam I see. How'd you do that?

22:39 Caller It's a good question. I noticed it about a year ago and I went to the clinic about it and they told me that it was normal for one to be larger than the other.

22:46 Adam Oh, there you go. All right. That's no fun. I'm not so interested in that call. Just let me talk to one person. We'll go to break. I'll sell it. I'll do that pack cell thing. You know that radio thing you do, Drew? That good radio thing that we never do. Cody?

23:01 Caller Yes, sir.

23:02 Adam Oh, are you drunk?

23:04 Caller No, sir.

23:05 Drew Head injury.

23:06 Adam Head injury. Great. All right. I'll see you in hell. Fantastic.

23:10 Caller All right. Yeah.

23:10 Adam What happened?

23:12 Caller I was 19. I was riding a three wheeler all-terrain vehicle.

23:16 Caller Oh, Jesus Christ.

23:17 Caller And I wasn't wearing a helmet and somehow I flipped off and hit my head on a rock. And I spent nine months in the hospital in Oklahoma for a head injury. No.

23:32 Adam That ruined the camping trip for everyone else.

23:34 Caller Yeah.

23:35 Adam So that's horrible. Those things, those ATV vehicles, they're crazy. People just roll those all over the place. Hey, Cody.

23:43 Caller Yes, sir.

23:44 Adam Doing all right now?

23:45 Caller Yes, sir.

23:46 Adam Hey, if it's any if it's any consolation, you're still smarter than three quarters of the people that call the show. Even with that head trauma, you're really you're more lucid than the average person who calls the show, even with your horrible injuries. Now, hold on a second, Cody.

24:00 Caller Yes, sir.

24:01 Adam Because I'm going to cure you when we come back.

24:02 Caller All right.

24:04 Adam Can I promise that? All right. We have Valarie Richard from Dark Angel. Hey, Drew, come on, come on, come on. Let me just come on. Let me finish up. Valarie.

24:14 Caller We'll be back.

24:16 Hello? Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE-1-1. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

24:54 Adam The Loveline of Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-O-V-E-1-9-1, Valarie Rae Miller and Richard Dunn are both here from Dark Angel. Tuesday Nights Fox, the number one hit show of the new season. Drew, who is the page from? I know. Then don't make more of it than it was.

25:11 Caller I had an itchy, itchy rash. Yes?

25:16 Adam Emergency?

25:17 Drew Don't even know yet.

25:18 Adam Don't know? What do you do?

25:20 Drew Not answering their phone, answering machines.

25:22 Caller I think it would be that important.

25:25 Drew Don't start me. My favorite thing is when I call in the blinds busy. That's my favorite.

25:30 Guest Because they're trying to pay you again.

25:31 Drew No. No, they're talking to mom.

25:33 Adam Now let me tell you something about Drew.

25:35 Drew Okay.

25:36 Adam He is a soft touch. He is...

25:39 Guest So you're a nice guy, Drew.

25:40 Adam Yes. He's a nice guy and he's a passionate, passionate man as well. Don't let the nice guy fool you. He likes the ladies.

25:48 Guest But you need somebody to sniff. You need somebody to put some smackdown. You know me now.

25:52 Adam I got you. He cannot...

25:53 Guest Exactly. Thank you.

25:55 Adam He cannot put or do the smackdown. I don't know which context is correct. I smack down twice yesterday, by the way, before I came to the studio. Good for you. I'm saving my smackdown session for later tonight.

26:07 Drew Did smack and done smack.

26:08 Adam I did and done smack. Drew does not put the smack down. Instead, he sees and gets angry inside and then he explodes when he's with his kids. All right, Cody, you're 27, you had that head injury in 92 when you were 19 years old.

26:25 Caller Yes, sir.

26:25 Adam Riding one of those three wheel ATVs.

26:28 Caller I wasn't wearing a helmet neither.

26:30 Adam No helmet. You know the problem with those ATVs that makes them so dangerous is I've been camping, I've been desert riding a million times with all these construction guys the whole life. And the thing about when a guy gets on a dirt bike in the desert, he looks at the dirt bike as, okay, I'm going to put my helmet on, I'm going to put my gear on, I'm going to dirt bike riding. They look at the ATV as sort of a shuttle. It's like, I'm not going to do any riding, I'm just going to go over to the snack stand and grab something or I'm going to head over down here like a golf cart. And they get on it and they're wearing their barefoot, they're wearing a pair of Zorries and some shorts, and they're going down the road because they're going to the John or the snack stand or something. But before you know it, they're hot dogging it a little bit and whacking their head on a rock.

27:20 Guest It just kind of creeps you on.

27:21 Adam Yeah, it kind of draws you in. Where's like the dirt bike, you don't get on it in your shorts.

27:27 Guest Because it looks more dangerous, it's more inherently dangerous.

27:29 Adam This thing, you see kids putting around on these things that are four and a half riding these things in a pair of shorts around the campsite. Cody, what happened with you?

27:38 Caller I was in, I don't know what happened. I just slipped off of it, I guess. The police report says I hit a rock and lost control. But that's all the memory I have of it.

27:52 Adam And then you were in the hospital for nine months, as you said? And what did they have to do to you?

27:58 Caller I had three craniotomies and a tracheotomy. Wow. Wow.

28:05 Adam The craniotomies where they remove a bird from your head, Drew? Or how's that? What is that? What is a crani? Pull the cranium off?

28:11 Drew This is the cranium.

28:12 Adam Take that off?

28:13 Caller Extract it.

28:14 Adam Bad times.

28:15 Caller Yeah, I have two burl holes, too. Burl holes.

28:18 Adam To relieve the pressure?

28:20 Caller Yeah.

28:20 Drew Pull the blood out.

28:21 Adam Yeah, your head starts swelling, they got to drill holes in it. I could go with one of those.

28:26 Drew Just permanent holes, sometimes.

28:29 Adam Hey, Cody.

28:30 Caller Yes, sir.

28:31 Adam You know, as they were fixing to do the third craniopathy, I would have piped up at that point. I don't care what kind of condition I was in. Listen, this is the last time you're pulling the crane off. You understand?

28:45 Guest I just put like a stopper in.

28:46 Adam Unless you're going to put some Velcro on it, this is it. So whatever you got to do, do it. Should have done it the first time.

28:52 Caller Well, they told my mom this was the last operation. And from then there, I would live or die.

29:01 Guest Wow. So you're very lucky to be here.

29:03 Caller Yes, ma'am.

29:04 Adam Yeah. Now what do you do?

29:09 Caller I don't work. I just sit at home basically.

29:13 Adam Are you able to function? How's your body working?

29:17 Caller My body, physically, I'm fine.

29:19 Adam You are?

29:20 Caller I have a little subligation in my right arm where it was drawn up to my chin through my stay at the hospital.

29:30 Adam Interesting.

29:30 Caller And that's basically it. I got a cut on my shoulder.

29:35 Adam But, but, but Cody.

29:37 Caller Yes, sir.

29:38 Adam See, it's kind of interesting, your condition, not in a, not in a good way, but as someone who's born with retardation, for instance, doesn't know any different world. You know what I mean? It's a difference between being blind at birth and going blind at 19.

29:54 Caller Yeah.

29:54 Adam You know what it's like to have full function and capacity.

29:58 Caller Yes, sir.

29:58 Adam And you're also, you're in good enough shape, thank God, that you're aware that you're in bad shape.

30:05 Caller Yeah.

30:06 Guest Was that frustrating to you?

30:08 Caller Oh, very frustrating. Suicide is a constant thought.

30:13 Adam But you know, you really, and I don't sound like I was kidding, but if your body is functional and it sounds, you know, you don't sound... We've heard worse.

30:24 Caller Yeah.

30:24 Adam Oh, yes. Drew's wife is worse. We really have heard worse on this show.

30:28 Guest Have you been listening tonight? There have been a couple worse already.

30:31 Adam Yeah. And it seems like with, you know, rehabilitation and what have you, you know, your body's working, I mean, it seems like you can have a decent life. What are the side effects beside the mental capacity being diminished?

30:46 Caller No, I don't have any physical limitations.

30:49 Adam Good. How's the penis?

30:52 Caller Oh, it's fine. It works, I guess. Okay. Not very well, but it works.

30:57 Adam Yeah.

30:57 Drew Now, are you on medications?

30:59 Caller I'm on Tegra-Tol.

31:01 Drew That shouldn't do much of that.

31:02 Adam Is that for seizures?

31:03 Drew Yeah.

31:04 Adam So turning into a goddamn doctor.

31:06 Caller Luckily, I haven't had seizures yet.

31:09 Drew All right.

31:09 Adam All right. So why don't you think the penis is cooperating?

31:13 Caller Um, I don't know. I feel I just want more than just the sex. You know what I mean? And there has to be some kind of love.

31:25 Adam You want to blow jump? Oh, I see.

31:27 Caller Right.

31:28 Adam No, of course.

31:28 Guest You ain't looking for a relationship.

31:31 Adam Something like that. Ménage à trois. Yeah. So listen, I, you know, Cody, here's the good news. I know you think your disability is probably getting in the way of this, but women are remarkably mature. I knew a guy who was in a wheelchair had the best look. And his girlfriend was Erica Lanier. There's the most beautiful blonde woman. She was on Baywatch for Christ's sake. She was a playmate. I knew this guy, this is before, you know, he was in a wheelchair.

31:58 Guest I had crushes on two different guys. They were totally hot in wheelchairs.

32:01 Adam Really?

32:01 Guest Yeah. One of them was supposed to go out with one of them. He just kind of chickened out and he kind of stood me out. But really, I really liked him.

32:08 Adam Really?

32:09 Guest Yeah, really.

32:09 Adam Those guys, they drive vans, all of them. So you know what you're in for.

32:14 Guest If you hang out with them, if you ever have to go to Ikea, you always got to ride.

32:17 Adam Park right up front. You got a nice van. You get to park right up front. Hey, Cody. So you're looking for a more substantial relationship.

32:27 Caller Oh, yeah. Yes, sir. I am.

32:30 Adam But don't you think that part of that is just because of what your life has become, not because, not that you have your diminished capacity mentally, but that you're unable to work. And I know it goes hand in hand, but you're living at home.

32:45 Guest How do you meet people? How do you meet people? Do you take classes or are you in any organization so you can meet other people?

32:51 Caller I was in a couple, at Front Range College, I was in a couple of classes there, but I dropped them real quick because I had trouble getting to the bus, then taking the bus to Boulder, then finding my...

33:07 Adam That was at Junior College? Yeah. He didn't find the curriculum challenging enough, I think is what he's saying about Junior College.

33:15 Guest You got to get into some things where you can meet people.

33:17 Adam Yeah, Cody, there's no easy answer other than you're alive, your body works, I mean think about all those poor sons of bitches who did exactly what you did who were paralyzed. Well, don't get me wrong, you're not super lucky.

33:30 Guest But you're gonna...

33:31 Caller I'm lucky to be alive, I understand that.

33:33 Adam Right, and you're lucky to have use of your limbs.

33:36 Caller Yeah.

33:36 Adam Most people who went through what you went through are bad from the neck down, you know?

33:42 Caller Yes, sir.

33:42 Adam All right, so use the Internet and, you know, try to, I mean, you can try to find something you can do and, you know, I don't know, I mean, in a way, it's, Drew, stop me if I'm wrong here, but we talk to people that are in Cody's shape without Cody's condition all the time.

33:59 Guest Exactly.

33:59 Adam They're depressed, they're living at home, they're in between jobs, they can't get anything going. I think women respond more to that than the injury.

34:07 Guest Exactly. I totally agree with that.

34:09 Adam This guy had the injury, but yet was working, taking care of his stuff.

34:13 Guest And you had interest in something and you were really trying to do something and then maybe we could connect on some sort of, like, you know, level deeper than just, oh, hi, you're a guy.

34:22 Adam Is it, for a guy, if this was a woman, if she was hot, it'd be even better. Better than a regular chick.

34:28 Sure.

34:29 Adam It's like, hey, she can barely talk. Dude.

34:31 Guest I'm here to tell you for some women, you're okay with that too.

34:33 Yeah.

34:36 Adam I mean, I wouldn't be a bad, wouldn't be, you know, really super like a hot chick who has a little problem there.

34:41 Drew Guys, the more damage the goods, the easier the target, the more guys are on top of it.

34:47 Right.

34:48 Adam We love to find an old junker that we can fix up. Oh, yeah.

34:53 Drew I notice there's a junker. It's that if they're lagging behind the pack somehow, it's like, why go after a troupe of gazelles?

34:59 Adam Easy for it, yeah. Because what they look at it, it's like this. It's like, you ever go to the stereo store, the appliance store, whatever, and you find something with a dent in it, but it's twice as cheap, and you go, great, great. That dent's up against the counter side. I won't even see that. I'm getting that microwave, that fridge, that stereo, whatever it is. That's a score.

35:20 Guest It's on sale.

35:21 Adam Yeah, if a guy to be able to find a girl like this who was good looking and had a little trouble, that's a score, because he's doing better than he could do.

35:29 Guest Yeah, but then you got the babysitter.

35:31 Adam Fine. I just put a bowl of water out, chained her to the radiator. I'm going to Vegas for a week. You got enough kibble, honey? Hey, don't crap up the living room this time. Do it on the wood. For Christ's sake, it sinks right into the padding, under the carpet there. Mike?

35:49 Drew Nice.

35:50 Adam Hello? Yeah. I should start a home for the mentally challenged. All right, listen, I'm going to deadbolt the place. You guys got kibble and water. I turned the fan on because it's kind of hot outside.

36:01 Drew You can stay with the Lucky Charms.

36:02 Adam Going to Vegas to watch a fight.

36:03 Drew The Lucky Charms theme.

36:05 Guest That's why you know so much about Viagra. All these damage goods. Sometimes she doesn't think it's so easy to get it up.

36:10 Adam How dare you? She feels threatened by my masculinity, so she's lashing out. Mike?

36:19 Caller Hey, how you guys doing?

36:20 Adam Hey, you're 25. What's up?

36:22 Caller What's up? Who's the guest?

36:24 Adam We have Valerie and Richard both here from Dark Angel.

36:27 Guest Hi, Mike.

36:27 Adam Hi, Mike.

36:28 Caller Hey, how you guys doing?

36:29 Guest Good, man.

36:30 Adam You ever watch that Dark Angel?

36:31 Caller Well, I haven't seen the commercials, but honestly, I haven't seen the show.

36:35 Adam Everyone is seeing the commercials.

36:37 Guest Tuesday nights at 9 p.m. You just missed it.

36:40 Caller All right, I'll tune in.

36:41 Guest Cool, man.

36:41 Guest There's a guy in a wheelchair in it, too.

36:43 Adam Oh, there is?

36:43 Guest Yeah.

36:44 Guest Yeah, he's hot.

36:45 Adam That's the guy you want to date. What's up there, Mike?

36:48 Caller Hey, well, before I get to my question, I wanted to tell Drew that when I voted a couple weeks ago, I put his name down on the right-hand ballot. I know you might qualify, but you're the one that messed up the election.

37:02 So you deserve it.

37:03 Caller You could do better than them, I'm sure.

37:05 Caller Probably right.

37:06 Adam Yeah.

37:07 Caller Yeah. But anyways, my question was about when I masturbate, it seems that I get constipated.

37:15 Caller Like if I feel like I have to use the bathroom and I masturbate before that, it constipates me sometimes for like a day.

37:22 Drew Well, you know what? You get sucked back in. Well, no, it's not sucked back in so much as what can happen is.

37:28 Adam Yeah. You're not having I pulled part of the comfort. I pulled part of the comfort around me once.

37:33 Drew It came right out.

37:34 Adam No, no, the only way I could get it out was to slam it in the door and then get a running start with the slam.

37:40 Drew I would say but it came out.

37:41 Adam Oh, it came out.

37:42 Guest Yeah, it was unusable.

37:44 Adam Three foot about.

37:44 Drew You had to burn it.

37:45 Adam It took with it.

37:48 Drew Here's what can happen though is that you can inflame your prostate. Your prostate can enlarge and that can make it difficult for its stool to pass. So if he's spending a lot of time masturbating and doing funny, stimulating things without releasing, that irritates the prostate.

38:02 Adam He had the kind of voice that would say that he was doing a lot of funny things. He had a long pre-check ritual.

38:09 Guest Intense funny things.

38:11 Drew Yes, that ritual is that the prostate likes regular, frequent rapid release.

38:16 Caller That's why I have the prostate of an 11-year-old instead of many kind of...

38:22 Adam Yeah, it does happen every once in a while. I won't get into it with Drew because he won't admit to it, but Richard, I know you masturbate like a madman up there in Canada when you're filming this show. And once about, I'd say about once every 15th or 16th session, so every other day when I'm sitting down to take care of myself, you get down there, you know what I'm saying, Richard? You're like, oh, Christ, I got to take a leak. And then you go, oh, man, I already got the boner.

38:49 Guest Yeah, I'll just work it out.

38:52 Adam I could go take the leak. I got to wait for the boner to go away. But I could whack off. It's not going to be that good if I got to take a leak, though.

39:01 Guest But you got the viagra, so the boner will stay.

39:02 Adam Yeah, I know. I'm hopped up on that viagra. Yeah. Use it as a suppository. A urethra suppository and an erectile suppository, as well as take it orally and nasally and lobally through the ear.

39:16 Guest Every orifice.

39:17 Guest I think I've learned far more about Adam than I ever cared to know.

39:20 Adam What I do with viagra is I grind it up, I put it into a humidifier and I let it run in the room so that I actually absorb the viagra through the pores, through the eyes. Right, Drew?

39:31 Guest Nice. That's how he's permanently stiff, like he's been starched.

39:35 Adam That's right.

39:37 Guest That's right.

39:38 Adam Ancient Chinese secret. All right. Valerie and Richard are both here from Dark Angel, Tuesday nights, five.

39:43 Drew Just to think he used to waste all that money on rhino horn.

39:46 Adam Yeah. Now moved on. Spanish fly, rhino horn and now on to the viagra. We'll be back after this. Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, Valarie Rae Miller, and Richard Gunner both here. From Dark Angel on Fox, 9 o'clock, Tuesday Nights, the really biggest hit of the new year. I can't name a show that's got more good press, publicity. And boy, they're really behind this show. I mean, James Cameron and they put more. I heard the pilot was like $7, $8 million or something like that.

41:04 Drew She's just at the man show.

41:07 Adam How dare you make fun of the man show. That's right, but you know, we put a lot of love in our show. We don't have the big budget, but I mean, it's really, it's like making a movie once a week.

41:17 Guest Exactly.

41:18 Caller It's a lot of work.

41:20 Adam I mean, not that many years ago, I know everyone's used to the $100 million budget now, but it just go back 10 or 15 years. We go back to the mid 80s and you talk about $10 million for the budget of a film. That's pretty healthy, pretty healthy budget. And you're shooting it. I mean, it's like, right? Like making a film every, you know, a weekly film.

41:43 Guest Yep.

41:43 Adam Seems horribly ambitious to me. I want no part of it.

41:48 Guest It takes, you know, it takes them about nine days to do one.

41:52 Guest At least.

41:52 Caller Yeah.

41:54 Guest Yeah.

41:54 Adam Yeah.

41:55 Guest It's a lot of work and it's a lot of hours, even with nine days, it's far more than what the average one hour show takes to do.

42:00 Caller Oh, yeah.

42:01 Caller Yeah.

42:02 Adam I mean, Drew, how many of those one hour Loveline episodes will we do in a day? Four.

42:12 Caller Six.

42:12 Adam Wow. Four.

42:13 Drew With all the special. Four minimum.

42:15 Adam Four in one day. Four in one day in about six and a half hours.

42:19 Drew And we'd start at one in the afternoon and there'd be huge breaks.

42:22 Adam Yeah. Big, long lunches. Yeah. I mean, in four one hour episodes. Jesus Christ. Well, who knows what the budget was. Hey, Drew. Yeah. You want to reconsider your options over there?

42:33 Drew How about that?

42:34 Adam Robert?

42:35 Yes.

42:35 Adam Hey, you're 13.

42:36 Caller Yeah.

42:37 Adam What's up, Sparky?

42:38 Caller Oh, not much. I just wanted to congratulate the Dark Angel. Can you watch that tonight? That was a kick.

42:44 Guest Thank you. Thanks, Robert.

42:45 Guest You got a great voice, Robert.

42:47 Caller Thanks.

42:47 Adam Yeah. Way to its nuts drop. You're really going to like it.

42:52 Caller My other question is that my brother, I don't do drugs, but my brother does. And so he wanted me to pee in a bag for him so he could take it to-

43:04 Drew No, no, don't do it. Don't do it.

43:06 Caller And I was just wondering because it's really making me feel-

43:09 Adam Wait a minute. What kind of bag? Duffle bag, gym bag?

43:12 Drew He wants to use his urine.

43:14 Adam For urine sample. For evil?

43:16 Drew Yeah. For evil.

43:17 Adam I used urine for evil when I was younger.

43:19 Drew I know you do.

43:19 Adam I remember every day of it now. I really do.

43:22 Guest Don't do it.

43:22 Drew We used it as a weapon.

43:24 Guest Yeah.

43:24 Adam I had to defend myself against other urine.

43:27 Guest His brother doesn't want to pour it on people.

43:29 Adam Oh, he doesn't want to pour it on people?

43:30 Drew No, but you're allowing him, you're enabling him to continue his drug addiction.

43:33 Guest Exactly.

43:34 Drew That's a bad thing.

43:35 Caller It's going to hurt him.

43:37 Guest But what?

43:37 Caller He got me started smoking and stuff like that a long time ago.

43:40 Caller Smoking what?

43:42 Caller No, just cigarettes.

43:43 Guest Is he threatening to physically harm you if you don't provide him with urine?

43:46 Caller No, not at all.

43:48 Adam How old is he, did you say?

43:50 Caller He's 20.

43:51 Adam Sounds like a dynamite individual.

43:53 Guest He should know better.

43:54 Caller Yeah.

43:55 Adam Hey, I'm going to get my brother started, I'll get him smoking at 11 and then he'll graduate to, then he'll graduate. Oh, I'll get him smoking cigarettes at nine, I'll graduate into whizzing into a water balloon. Yeah, by the time he's 60.

44:06 Guest Well, he won't be making you do any drugs or trying to get you to do any drugs if he wants to use your urine.

44:13 Caller Yeah.

44:13 Adam Yeah. Hey, next thing, he's what, 20? Yes. I'd say when he's like 23, 24, he's going to come back. Hey, I'm making some gay porn. Drop your pants and see what you got down there. Fantastic. Yeah, I got a job for you.

44:30 Drew Yeah, he needs to get caught and it's going to help him get, hopefully get access to training.

44:35 Adam What is he trying to do? Is he trying to get a job?

44:38 Caller Yeah, because he is going to college right now and...

44:44 Adam Hold on, this is junior college.

44:46 Caller No.

44:47 Adam Four-year college? Yeah.

44:49 Drew Where?

44:51 Caller At, I don't know, some tech school.

44:53 Adam Tech school?

44:54 Guest There's lots of drugs in four-year college.

44:57 Adam Yeah. Listen, right?

44:58 Drew Welding school.

44:59 Adam Yeah. When he's repairing welding. Yeah.

45:02 Guest Well, he may be using instruments that could harm him or others.

45:07 Caller Yeah.

45:07 Adam No, he...

45:08 Guest You don't need to be doing drugs.

45:10 Caller He's been doing it since he was young because he didn't get along with his dad or my mom.

45:15 Adam All right. But Robert, the sheer fact that guy got you started smoking at nine.

45:19 Caller Yeah.

45:19 Adam How do you smoke at nine? Why does that work?

45:22 Caller He doesn't.

45:23 Adam What do you do now?

45:23 Drew I'm a patient.

45:24 Caller No, I quit it all.

45:25 Guest Good for you.

45:27 Drew I'm a Mexican patient. I started smoking when she was eight. Oh, sure. She's now 93.

45:31 Adam That's the average age of Mexico to begin smoking.

45:33 Drew Two packs a day. And her parents gave her cigarettes to smoke because they had no food and it suppressed their appetite so the kids weren't so uncomfortable.

45:40 Adam I don't have to deal with my kids.

45:41 Guest She's 93. She's been smoking her whole life.

45:43 Drew Two packs a day since she was eight. It's bizarre.

45:46 Adam She's fine. But she killed a family of eight with her second hand smoke.

45:50 Guest Exactly.

45:51 Adam All right. Hey, Robert, don't pee in anything. Okay. Thank you.

45:55 Guest You're the better man.

45:56 Adam One of my greater urination stories from high school, speaking of peeing and stuff. My buddy, she's... Right. Okay. It was right. I didn't want to mention it. He's tired of hearing it from other people. He took a leak. I told you this one, I think, Drew.

46:11 Guest I didn't hear it.

46:12 Adam He took a leak in a cup, like a paper cup, and he thought he was going to throw it on my head.

46:18 Drew Like you normally did. Like you usually do with pee.

46:21 Adam Because it was Tuesday noon, and it was time for me to go... .to an urine on the head. And we're running around my house, and he had somehow set this cup of urine down on the kitchen counter, and the fight then broke out outside the house, and ran in and ran out. Anyway, now I was in the house, and he was locked out of the house, basically, and he was creeping around the house, trying to find a way in to use his urine cup. And we had this... the window was broken, and our bad sign, by the way, when... Here's how you know you're white trash. When you break a window, and you start putting stuff up in place of glass, you know what it is? You throw a softball through a window, so you take the cutting board, which fits quite nicely in the same place. Anything but go down to the goddamn hardware store and drop four bucks on a piece of glass. That's all right, but get some foil, put a skateboard out there.

47:13 Guest Very creative people like trash.

47:15 Adam Why can't you just go down and get a new piece of glass? But when you're white trash, you don't do that.

47:20 Guest So you have to make use of the junk pile in your backyard.

47:22 Adam You gotta start thinning the junk out. We're getting rats back there. So we had like a metal grate, was like a piece of like steel with holes in it, and you couldn't see through it. When you're inside the house and it was light outside, you could see through perfectly, but when you're outside, it looked black.

47:38 Guest But you still get the draft.

47:39 Adam Rae put his head right up against a thing and he cupped his hands on each side of his eyes so he could cut the light to see. And I just stood there holding that thing, a cup of urine, and when his nose got pushed far enough against the grid where I could see part of it poking through my side, I whipped it at him in a baseball-type maneuver and blinded him. I'm almost attached to his retina.

48:01 Guest That was great. Sound effect, Anderson.

48:03 Adam Drew, you know me. Now picture me at 17. How happy was I at that point?

48:09 Drew Like the chimpanzees.

48:10 Guest Like, you said 17. I thought you were like 12. Oh, no, no.

48:14 Adam I could have been 18. I was like, you know what Snoopy is when Charlie Brown comes on?

48:19 Guest That's how I was.

48:20 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a break, talk about Dark Angel tonight, and we'll be back after this. Hey, Loveline, hottest 120 minutes on radio. Yeah. Yeah, that's good radio there. Snuck that right in the beat. Talking to Richard Gunn and Valarie Rae Miller, both from Dark Angel. Tuesday Nights, 9 o'clock on Fox. Drew is, God knows where, maybe another page or something. He's got business. Yeah. He really takes his show seriously.

49:30 Caller I have an itchy, itchy rash.

49:34 Adam Haven't brought this up in a while, but isn't it a travesty that we get paid the same amount? Oh, here he is. Hi, Drew. How are you? Ray Rock here. Let's go. Everclear tomorrow night. Always good to see the guys from Everclear. So they'll be here tomorrow night. And Jeff?

49:51 Yeah.

49:52 Adam You're 19. What's up?

49:53 Caller Yeah. I just quit doing drugs and drinking and everything like a week ago. Good for you.

50:00 Guest Very good.

50:01 Caller And ever since then, I've been having kind of like blackouts just for like a second. And I was wondering if that's normal or if that happens to people.

50:13 Drew You can't stop. If you've been to alcohol, what other drug were you using?

50:18 Caller What? Excuse me?

50:19 Drew Alcohol and what other drug were you using?

50:21 Caller Oh, I was just I would take weed and prescription pills.

50:26 Drew Are you still tremulous? You're still shaking a lot?

50:30 Caller Yeah, I get nervous.

50:32 Drew And what prescription pill were you taking?

50:34 Caller Oh, Vicodin, Xanax, anything you can.

50:37 Drew Yeah, you can have you could really have seizures at this stage. This is not something you do without being supervised.

50:42 Caller Yeah.

50:42 Drew OK. People die of alcohol withdrawal. People don't realize that.

50:46 Caller But in fact, I'm I'm in like a program.

50:50 Drew That's great. But, you know, call call people in the program, call a sponsor and tell them you talk to a doctor. You need to be seen because you need to be covered for seizure.

50:57 Adam Yeah. But what about one week after you quit? Are you out of what's the most dangerous time? Is it the next day?

51:04 Drew It's about there's a peak at about four or five days. But he's benzodiazepine and alcohol. And there is a second peak 10 to 14 days out. Oh, really? And actually the risk of seizure from the from the Xanax and stuff he's doing is actually increasing right now.

51:17 Adam So it doesn't just go off incrementally.

51:20 Drew Two peaks.

51:21 Adam Oh, interesting.

51:23 Drew And especially with the Xanax.

51:24 Guest How long does it take to filter out of your body, out of your system? Three hours.

51:28 Drew It's just your brain has been altered. It takes a year for the brain to go back to normal. The withdrawal part of the stabilization takes a couple weeks.

51:38 Guest Hey, Jeff.

51:39 Drew It's why this has to be medically supervised. Some people document fatality rates with DTs, true DTs, at 60%.

51:46 Caller So I should go talk to my doctor?

51:48 Drew Yes, absolutely.

51:49 Caller Just my family doctor?

51:50 Drew Either that or go by an emergency room or even right now and talk about what's happening here. They should be able to give you something to cover you.

51:56 Adam Well, is a blackout some sort of precursor to the seizure?

51:59 Drew Probably a small seizure.

52:01 Adam Is that what that is?

52:02 Caller That's kind of scary.

52:03 Adam Yeah. Well, you're pretty much into the substance, right?

52:08 Caller Yeah.

52:09 Adam How did you quit without a program?

52:11 Drew Well, he's going to a community program.

52:13 Adam Well, I know, but he was on a lot of stuff. He didn't have to detox or anything, go in the house?

52:21 Caller I got put in jail for a few things.

52:22 Adam Oh, OK.

52:23 Guest Well, there you go.

52:24 Caller See, he went in house.

52:25 Guest So you quit cold turkey.

52:27 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was him going into the jail, except for it was more of a trunk. We needed a clink. I think that's what it was.

52:34 Guest And I believed it.

52:36 Adam Yeah, it's funny. I was thinking, once he's had this guy, it didn't sound like the kind of guy who would just quit on his own at 19, but he went into the went into the can of flour.

52:44 Guest It's good for you. You can do it.

52:46 Adam Oh, yeah. And look at it this way. Short 51 weeks from now, your brain will be right back to normal.

52:52 Drew Well, you stay with the program, you get better.

52:54 Guest Exactly.

52:55 Adam There you go. Mike? Hi. Hey, you're 18. What's up?

53:01 Caller For starters, Drew, you said on the show that the brain develops through the ages of 11 and 17.

53:12 Drew Wait, what are you talking about?

53:14 Caller I've heard you say it was not long ago, a couple of days ago, that the brain develops through the ages of 11 and 17. Is that true?

53:20 Drew No. The brain develops right until 21.

53:23 Adam What about, why 11 and 17?

53:26 Drew Yeah, I understand.

53:27 Caller Through the ages of 11 and 17.

53:29 Drew Between, what's happening before 11?

53:32 Caller I have no idea.

53:33 Drew Your brain's developing, okay? It goes right on to your 21.

53:38 Adam When do you think all those Japanese kids learn to play the violin? That's not after 11, smartass.

53:44 Caller Okay.

53:45 Caller But what's your question?

53:47 Caller Basically, well, my question is, well, I was gonna ask if smoking pot, like chronically smoking pot through those ages could affect sexual development.

54:01 Drew You mean sexual identity?

54:03 Caller I guess that's what you call it, yes.

54:05 Drew No, no, no.

54:07 Adam Remember I was saying earlier, I think it was Cody called in, had himself a little head trauma, told him, don't worry, there's people with no trauma that are in a worse shape than you are. I think we might have found our match with them over here.

54:22 Caller Well, that was another question. If pot smoking can cause permanent damage or, you know, because I was under the impression that smoking pot, you know, chronically smoking pot can't cause any kind of permanent damage, huh?

54:38 Drew Yeah, but it's actually debatable.

54:40 Adam But it's like this. I mean, I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm too high on my horse here because Lord knows I smoke a little weed once in a while. But if you took a kid who was 11, you know, locked him in the closet and played him the same smashing pumpkin CD until he was 18 and then let him out of the closet, it seemed like he had brain damage. Well, I mean, even if his brain wasn't physically damaged, he was deprived of input.

55:09 Drew It blocks the usual developmental process to some extent. It also has been shown on radiographic procedures to actually cause certain areas of shrinkage of the brain. There is growing evidence some of that may be permanent. I'm not convinced. It looks to me like most that's reversible. But in the meantime, you've missed all the developmental milestones of adolescence and are left with difficulty managing feelings.

55:32 Guest And you don't want to do anything but sit around your house. You're missing life, buddy.

55:37 Caller Because I have smoked a lot of pot. And when it comes down to standardized tests, I do just as good as my sister who hasn't smoked any.

55:47 Drew She has an emotional development. It tends not to affect intellect so much. It can affect memory. It can.

55:54 Adam She's in a crack, by the way.

55:56 Drew But we're really talking about your emotional development, your personality development.

56:02 Guest You're missing life by doing that all the time.

56:04 Drew Hold on.

56:04 Adam Let me defend that. Mike, I've been outside. It's no big deal. Nothing. They always talk about how great it is. Listen, you get a parking ticket and a bad hot dog, you go home crying. That's it. It's one big line out there, brother. You stay home.

56:21 Caller Okay.

56:21 Adam You got cable?

56:23 Caller Actually, I don't have a TV now.

56:25 Adam Oh, now you got problems.

56:26 Guest You wouldn't be able to pay the bills anyway.

56:28 Guest What are you supposed to do without TV when you're smoking a lot of pot?

56:30 Caller Yeah. I know it's kind of weird. Actually, I've been reading lately. All right.

56:35 Adam You're fine. Now, what was your question? Was that your question?

56:39 Caller Well, basically, I don't know what sex I prefer. And I know that sounds really strange.

56:50 Guest No, it doesn't.

56:52 Caller I don't know how to go about...

56:54 Guest Should trial and error.

56:57 Caller And I've kind of done that. But I'm kind of a nice guy, so I don't like to do that because I feel like I'm using people.

57:04 Adam Yeah. Well, you don't have to worry about the guys.

57:05 Guest They're getting something out of it.

57:07 Adam Yeah.

57:08 Drew Well, now, look, is it that you have difficulty connecting with people and don't really feel like intimacy is important to you?

57:15 Caller I think that has some...

57:17 Drew Because I get that definite feel from you. I'm known to several patients who, it's like they just can't connect. And so it could be... This is like one step below zoophilia. You know, humans are like not that important to them. This is their perception of it.

57:33 Adam These one step below banging a sheet.

57:36 Guest They're talking about a sociopath.

57:38 Adam One step away.

57:40 Guest You're scavenger.

57:42 Drew Not necessarily a sociopath, but you can see how that tendency could be there.

57:45 Guest All right, but wait a minute.

57:46 Caller You guys are always so right, because I like I don't miss people. I don't, you know, people always say, did you miss me? And I know where you were.

57:55 Drew You like left severely abandoned when you were like young, young child.

57:58 Caller My parents divorced, but that's about it.

58:01 Guest But maybe that can have a serious effect.

58:04 Caller Yeah.

58:04 Caller How old were you?

58:05 Caller I don't know. Three.

58:07 Adam I mean, are you living at home now?

58:09 Caller No, I'm on my own.

58:10 Adam I see. And things are going great. You have no TV.

58:15 Guest Smoked pot and you just have sex with everybody.

58:16 Caller He reads.

58:17 Adam All right.

58:18 Caller Not that bad.

58:18 Adam Mike, all right. So you're off the weed, right?

58:23 Caller Well, no, not really. I mean, I've been smoking up till yesterday. I haven't smoked any today, but. Oh, okay.

58:30 Guest That'll distance you from humanity.

58:32 Caller That's true.

58:32 Adam Yeah. You're cured.

58:33 Drew You're cured. Here's the deal, Mike. There's now tremendous fields of study about how people regulate their emotional world. And one thing that's very clear is the ability to connect with other people is actually what activates emotional growth. The presence of another person available for you is what allows us to tolerate feelings that we otherwise couldn't tolerate, allows us to develop emotionally. Without that connection, we develop lots of defensive strategies. But unless you can find a way to connect, it's going to be a very empty existence for you. You've got to give people an opportunity to kind of let them in emotionally or else the only thing you're going to have to regulate your emotional world is pot or later something heavier, I predict.

59:11 Adam All right, let's talk to Michael who says 16. Michael?

59:15 Caller Yes?

59:15 Adam What's up?

59:18 Caller Yeah, I've been masturbating since I was 12. And-

59:23 Guest You're healthy.

59:24 Caller 16.

59:25 Adam Yeah.

59:26 Caller And it was really serious. I mean, serious masturbating like five times a day. And I first found out what an orgasm was because I was-

59:38 Adam Because it landed on your belly?

59:41 Caller No.

59:42 Adam Uh, you've been jacking off feverishly since 12 and you first learned of the orgasm at what?

59:48 Caller No, it happened before. The reason why I started masturbating was because I put my, I had my cat and I tried, I tried to like rub it and get it real hard and stuff and I had an orgasm. And that's what started me.

1:00:07 Adam Did you say your cat?

1:00:08 Guest Was this when you were 12?

1:00:09 Caller Yeah.

1:00:10 Adam Yeah, I used to bang the bejesus out of Norman. That was a calico we had growing up.

1:00:15 Caller Well, about two years ago, I wasn't getting like anything out of it or anything. I wasn't ejaculating, getting orgasm. So I like went into masochism.

1:00:26 Adam Right.

1:00:27 Drew And what did you do?

1:00:30 Caller Like I'll tie strings and stuff around my penis.

1:00:34 Adam You do the puppet move? Done that. Girls like that. So yeah, I needed a little top hat and a cane.

1:00:41 Drew I got no strings.

1:00:42 Adam That's right.

1:00:45 Guest Did you hurt yourself?

1:00:48 Caller Yeah. What did you do?

1:00:51 Guest What happened?

1:00:52 Caller Well, like after a while, it can tear the skin.

1:00:57 Guest Yeah. You can imagine that.

1:00:58 Drew Are you on medication, Michael?

1:01:01 Caller Uh, no.

1:01:01 Drew Are you supposed to be?

1:01:04 Caller Uh, I was.

1:01:06 Drew Why aren't you getting back into the proper care?

1:01:07 Adam I'm going to bring up a young Cody who had a head trauma again. Remember that?

1:01:11 Caller Yeah.

1:01:11 Adam Very prophetic.

1:01:12 Caller I was on Rivelin, but I was allergic to it.

1:01:15 Drew Yeah. Well, you need to get... That was not a psychiatrist to prescribe that, was it? Was that a psychiatrist to prescribe that or a pediatrician?

1:01:23 Caller Psychiatrist.

1:01:24 Drew Okay. You need to get back into their care again. You need to talk about this stuff.

1:01:27 Adam Mike, I'm more interested in you having your way with the cat.

1:01:31 Caller Well, there's another thing too.

1:01:33 Drew Yeah.

1:01:33 Caller Well, hold on.

1:01:34 Guest But the cat ceased to do it for him.

1:01:35 Caller Yeah.

1:01:36 Adam Hold on a second though. You're hard pressed to get your cat on your lap, much less hump it.

1:01:44 Caller You know what I mean?

1:01:45 Adam Cats aren't very agreeable creatures. You might as well try raping a raccoon while you're at it. How the hell did your cat hold still long enough?

1:01:54 Caller She's decod.

1:01:55 Caller He mastered it.

1:01:56 Guest He mastered the cat.

1:01:57 Caller He's decod.

1:01:58 Caller Oh, whoa.

1:02:00 Adam Yeah.

1:02:01 Caller Yeah.

1:02:01 Adam I mean, what did you do? I mean, you had to wrestle the cat, right?

1:02:04 Caller I'm just had to hold it.

1:02:06 Guest Your cat is traumatized.

1:02:07 Guest Maybe the cat liked it.

1:02:09 Guest Does the cat still come around you? Oops.

1:02:11 Caller Hardly.

1:02:13 Guest All right.

1:02:15 Adam Michael's giving me the creeps. What do you think?

1:02:19 Guest Yeah.

1:02:19 Drew Michael needs some help.

1:02:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:22 Guest Yeah. You need to stop stop hurting your body with strings.

1:02:26 Drew You want to see if you have the records of history here for sexual compulsion?

1:02:28 Adam I don't know. He sounds... Michael.

1:02:31 Caller Yeah.

1:02:31 Adam Were you ever raped or abused?

1:02:34 Caller When I was little, like kindergarten.

1:02:37 Adam What happened?

1:02:38 Caller Well, I lived in an Air Force base and all these like 12 year olds and everything, they're like huge kids to me. They had some secret club and I always wanted to be in that club. And like they make me like strip in front of them.

1:02:54 Adam Yeah.

1:02:55 Caller And like one guy, he's trying to get me to insert my penis into his ass.

1:03:01 Adam Right. All right. So this is where it came from. I mean, just growing up on an air first base is cause enough for therapy. It really is. Hey, Michael.

1:03:12 Caller Yeah.

1:03:13 Adam Listen, you got to get back with the program.

1:03:16 Drew You got to get back in the treatment.

1:03:17 Adam Psychiatrists, you got to get on the right medication.

1:03:20 Caller The thing is like girls won't even, I don't know.

1:03:23 Adam Good.

1:03:23 Guest Those problems will be solved though.

1:03:25 Adam I've seen this treatment. Listen, can you blame them? You're humping cats and tying fishing string around your door.

1:03:30 Caller Even girls won't work out with me.

1:03:31 Adam I mean, I know. Good.

1:03:33 Caller That's it.

1:03:34 Adam That's God's plan. You don't want you having any kids.

1:03:37 Guest You don't need to be doing that right now anyway. You need to worry about the treatment.

1:03:40 Guest If you get your mind healthy, then everything will follow after that.

1:03:44 Drew People will be attracted to you when you start feeling better about yourself.

1:03:48 Adam Yep. Yes, they will.

1:03:50 Guest Yeah.

1:03:50 Adam But he's got to get on his medication. He's got to go back to his psychiatrist.

1:03:54 Guest Or you get no play.

1:03:56 Adam That's right. Michelle?

1:03:59 Guest Yeah? Yeah.

1:04:00 Adam I mean, imagine you guys look back, Richard and Drew, you look back at yourself in high school and go, geez, what a piece of work. Right? I mean, you roll your eyes. You think of yourself, you realize, oh my God, no wonder I wasn't getting any tail in high school.

1:04:13 Guest Comparatively, I was okay.

1:04:14 Adam But you weren't raping any pets.

1:04:16 Guest No, I wasn't raping pets.

1:04:17 Guest I wasn't tying or fishing line around.

1:04:18 Adam So Michael's got to look back to his high school days and go, yeah, no wonder. Michelle, you're 17. What's up?

1:04:26 Caller Hi. I have a question for Dr. Drew. I've heard that you can take multiple doses of birth control pills.

1:04:36 Drew Certain ones.

1:04:37 Caller Instead of the morning after pill?

1:04:39 Drew Certain ones.

1:04:40 Caller Which ones?

1:04:42 Drew Well, basically the ones that have levonogestrel.

1:04:45 Adam Okay. Yeah.

1:04:48 Drew It's the prevent pill is ethanol, estradiol, and levonogestrel.

1:04:52 Adam Sure.

1:04:53 Drew And I think plan B is just levonogestrel. So that's what you want to look for. And so low overall, overall, a less, even a triphasic pill. Some of them you can take.

1:05:02 Caller Why?

1:05:03 Adam Which one do you have?

1:05:03 Guest Why take multiple doses?

1:05:05 Drew For morning after pill.

1:05:06 Caller Oh, oh, oh.

1:05:07 Caller I'm on Orso Novum 777, so that won't work.

1:05:12 Drew I'd have to, no, shoot, I know a PDR here, but I have to look at what's in it, but I don't think that would work. Okay. Why don't you just get the morning after pill? But wait, you're on the pill. Why are you even worried about it?

1:05:22 Caller Well, sometimes, well, I just want to make sure, you know, I'm just-

1:05:26 Drew Wait a minute. Whoa. Did you miss a day? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Michelle, if there were a more certain way to take the pill, we would recommend you to do that. You're only going to screw things up if you alter the way you take the birth control pill.

1:05:39 Caller Okay.

1:05:40 Drew You take it at the same time every day.

1:05:42 Caller Right.

1:05:43 Drew And if you use any other medications concurrently, make sure you use a condom also.

1:05:47 Caller Okay.

1:05:47 Adam All right.

1:05:48 Drew That's it.

1:05:48 Adam If you're taking the pill right, you're not pregnant.

1:05:50 Guest You're not pregnant. Are you worried that you're pregnant now?

1:05:53 Adam No, I'm not worried now.

1:05:55 Caller I just like to be very safe.

1:05:57 Drew All right.

1:05:57 Guest Good girl.

1:05:58 Drew Practice safe sex, stay on the pill.

1:05:59 Guest Yeah, have a condom and be on the pill.

1:06:01 Drew You're not getting pregnant.

1:06:02 Caller Where can I get the morning after pill from?

1:06:05 Drew Any pharmacy.

1:06:05 Guest You don't need to stockpile that stuff.

1:06:08 Drew Well, it's not a bad idea.

1:06:09 Guest You think?

1:06:09 Drew Yeah, if we ever have that. Just in case.

1:06:11 Caller I'm just curious if I ever needed to.

1:06:12 Drew Yeah, it's not a bad idea to have that. That's a reasonable thing to have around.

1:06:15 Adam All right, Michelle.

1:06:16 Caller Okay, thank you.

1:06:17 Adam Yeah. See, our callers, they break off into these two categories, which is ones like Michelle over here, who are extra safe and extra paranoid. And then they're the ones who are like, yeah.

1:06:28 Guest Are doing their cat.

1:06:30 Adam Exactly. They're doing the cat. But the women are like, he came, well, in and on me, but he was drunk and I don't think that sperm has worked when you're drunk.

1:06:41 Drew We just caught him sometimes.

1:06:42 Adam Yeah.

1:06:44 Guest I think Michelle should have condoms and be on the pill if you're that worried about it. I think that's the best thing to do.

1:06:49 Drew Yep, it is.

1:06:49 Adam Yeah. But not for the boyfriend.

1:06:51 Guest Keegan.

1:06:54 Adam Keegan.

1:06:55 Caller Yeah, it's Keegan. You got it right.

1:06:57 Guest Great.

1:06:57 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:06:58 Caller Yeah, I just want to say hi to the cast.

1:07:00 Drew Hey man, how you doing? How are you doing?

1:07:02 Caller I love your show.

1:07:02 Caller It's a great show.

1:07:04 Caller I've been watching it since the beginning.

1:07:05 Caller It's great.

1:07:06 Guest That's awesome, man. Thank you.

1:07:07 Guest Good looking out, man.

1:07:08 Caller Yeah.

1:07:10 Caller So what are your two characters?

1:07:13 Caller I'm sorry.

1:07:13 Caller I don't really know.

1:07:14 Guest Sketchy and Original Cindy.

1:07:16 Guest Okay.

1:07:17 Caller Yeah. I love your characters.

1:07:19 Guest Thank you.

1:07:20 Adam Yeah.

1:07:21 Caller So we like you.

1:07:23 Drew Take a note.

1:07:25 Adam Yeah. You got a deadline for the school newspaper or something?

1:07:31 Guest Well, hi. Thank you.

1:07:32 Adam Where are you calling from, Kagan?

1:07:34 Caller California. I'm in Pasadena.

1:07:35 Guest Oh, cool. Kagan.

1:07:37 Adam Drew's going to give you a tap on the horn as he drives by your place.

1:07:40 Drew I'm going home tonight, sure enough.

1:07:43 Adam Hi, Kagan. Yeah. Who's he? I'm trying to think of the guy I hate so much on PBS. Huel Hauser. I'm sorry.

1:07:53 Caller Yeah.

1:07:54 Adam You know Huel Hauser is?

1:07:55 Caller Yeah, I do. Yeah, you do.

1:07:57 Adam How do you know who Huel Hauser is?

1:07:59 Caller Well, my mom loves KCG.

1:08:01 Adam I see. I see.

1:08:02 Caller She's on.

1:08:03 Adam Thank you. Okay. I'm just just checking. From Pasadena.

1:08:06 Drew 15 year old.

1:08:07 Adam 15.

1:08:07 Guest And thank you for watching the show.

1:08:09 Adam 43 and from Pasadena.

1:08:10 Guest I don't think he tried to get it on with his cat.

1:08:12 Adam No. Oh, my God. That poor cat. The cat is probably sitting in a kitty therapist's office right now. Oh, you want to know why my fur's a mess? I'll tell you. You really want to know? You want to know why I'm dragging this throw pillow?

1:08:29 Guest I can't wash it. Oh, it's just a cat.

1:08:31 Drew Speaking of the heropits, I was reading-

1:08:33 Adam Worst cat to rape. The worst animal to rape is a cat. It really is. Worst. Yeah.

1:08:37 Drew Squirrel.

1:08:38 Caller Yeah, squirrel.

1:08:40 Adam Believe you me, possibly of the domesticated.

1:08:42 Drew Of the domesticated cats, I agree with you.

1:08:44 Caller But yeah.

1:08:44 Drew Listen.

1:08:45 Adam Raccoon and squirrel in the wild. In a pinch.

1:08:47 Guest The most popular one is the hamster. Guinea pig.

1:08:52 Adam Hamster, guinea pig, dog, sheep.

1:08:54 Guest You always see dogs on the internet.

1:08:56 Adam Chickens, chickens, things like that.

1:08:57 Guest Horse on the internet.

1:08:58 Adam Horse. I'm a little intimidated.

1:09:00 Drew What are you spending time doing, Valerie?

1:09:02 Guest I'm reading.

1:09:02 Adam On the internet.

1:09:03 Drew But I was, Diane Wallerstein's book about divorce, I just happened to be flipping through it tonight, and it was interesting. She was making a point that one of the things that kids get affected by most by divorce is that their mother becomes less available to them after family dissolves. And so really many children of divorced family report the loss of their mother, feeling the complete loss of her availability and detachment from her as a result of divorce. Also, when the stepfather comes into the picture and further taking her away, and so I just listening to Adam every night whine about his mother, that made me think about it.

1:09:37 Adam How many times, what, was I whining about my mother? Is that what brought this up?

1:09:41 Drew No, you were talking about therapy. You were talking about therapy, you were talking about therapy, and I thought it had nothing to do with his mother. It reminded me of your therapy and how little you talk about in your therapy.

1:09:49 Mom, I'm so mad at you!

1:09:51 Caller I'm so mad at you, Mom!

1:09:54 Caller See what I'm saying?

1:09:55 Adam That was the last week's show.

1:09:57 Caller I'm over that now, though.

1:09:58 Adam All right.

1:09:59 Guest I thought that was an interesting point.

1:10:01 Drew I thought maybe you could sort of corroborate that. Is that accurate or...?

1:10:04 Adam Well, my mom was out of it before the divorce, though. Oh, you mean, did the divorce pull mom farther away? No. I mean, my mom just smoked a lot of weed and stayed in her room.

1:10:16 Drew Yeah, but I've seen the picture of your family. She seemed kind of together, together, together. Everything's kind of OK. And then do-yo-yo-yoing.

1:10:22 Guest She loses it.

1:10:25 Adam How dare you attack my mother that way? You know, I built a shrine to her, Drew. I'll blacken your eye for that kind of talk. How dare you, sir?

1:10:34 Guest I believe I was quoting you, by the way.

1:10:35 Caller Oh, OK.

1:10:36 Adam No, I just got done wanking off to my mom. Oh, totally out of context. That is great. If you could have heard the conversation before that, you'd realize it was totally out of context. You wanking off to my mom.

1:10:50 Caller Something about the dad.

1:10:52 Adam Listen, both parents, I think, try to keep it together a little bit better when they're in front of the other parent and especially in front of the kid. You know what I'm saying? I think there's an attempt, like Drew, isn't in your marriage, I know your wife keeps a fairly tight leash around you, but it's not really a leash, more of a handle. Leash would suggest there's some room for lateral movement.

1:11:19 Guest Well, you gotta train them. You have to train them.

1:11:21 Adam She just took a drawer handle and just put some wood screws into her spine. She hangs on him like a piece of Samsonite when he's around the house. But when your wife, when Susan's there and you're around the kids, even though you love your kids, there's a certain kind of way you have to sort of act. It's almost responsible or respectful of the spouse as they pertain to the kids. It's almost how you would act. The difference between how you act when you're alone and when you're with somebody at work or whatever. You know what I'm saying?

1:11:53 Guest You gotta put up the parent front.

1:11:55 Adam You might not even realize it, but the fact that there's a couple of kids and mommy and daddy in the room makes you a unit, it makes you a family. And when you're not drunk and fighting, you do kind of act more that way. And if your wife was to take off, you might plant yourself on the sofa and tell the kids to go out in the yard and play on the compound. Yeah, so just not having the pressure of the other person, another adult.

1:12:20 Drew That's not even called by the check. It's like a check and balance.

1:12:23 Adam Yeah, it doesn't even need to be another parent. It could be an adult. Just one of your, you know how people act with their kids when their friends are sitting around, their adult friends. They're all of a sudden the world's greatest parent and then they come back and the kids, you know, kids wearing a bowl on his head and he said, just been raped, you know how it is.

1:12:40 Guest I don't know why he's doing that. He never does that at home.

1:12:42 Adam That's right, that's right. What's with the excessive masturbation and the crying? He's three, is that healthy? Yeah, he's fine. You reach up to scratch your head, the kid flinches and starts crying. All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:13:17 Guest You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Bugs.

1:13:31 Adam Dr. Drew Loveline and Adam Corolla. Is that you over there? Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Everclear is gonna be in here tomorrow night.

1:13:40 Guest Is that their music right now?

1:13:42 Adam I don't know. What's that? That's Incubus.

1:13:44 Guest I like it.

1:13:45 Adam All right.

1:13:45 Caller Yeah, they're good bands.

1:13:47 Adam Well, if you like Incubus, you'll love Everclear. Valarie Rae Miller and Richard Gunn are both here from Dark Angel, nine o'clock, Tuesday nights on Fox. And let's hop back on our phones and speak to Shailene. Shailene.

1:14:04 Caller Shailene.

1:14:05 Adam Yes. Hi, Shailene.

1:14:06 Caller Hi.

1:14:07 Caller Yeah.

1:14:09 Caller I like your guys' show. I'll do it overnight. You know, I just had to say it like everybody else.

1:14:13 Guest Thanks, Shailene.

1:14:16 Caller Well, my question is that I have a very hard time, like, when I'm, like, like...

1:14:23 Drew Turn your radio down.

1:14:25 Caller Okay, hold on.

1:14:26 Caller Be back.

1:14:28 Adam Oh, boy.

1:14:29 Caller Okay.

1:14:29 Adam Never gets old.

1:14:31 Caller Um, well, what happens is when I, like, when you're, like, saying you're making out with a guy or anything, I have, don't ever get aroused and I, I can't. It's, like, impossible for me. I've done it a few times, but...

1:14:44 Drew Done what?

1:14:46 Caller Well, just, like, getting aroused. It's really difficult for me to...

1:14:50 Adam She's made out.

1:14:51 Guest Bad kissers.

1:14:52 Adam Have you made out a few times?

1:14:53 Caller Oh, yeah. Well, I've made out, you know, and, you know, done things, but it just, anything, like, it doesn't get me, like, I'll sit here and I'll be in the mood, and then once I get started, I will, like, just, like, drop out of it.

1:15:06 Guest Maybe you're thinking about it too much, because sometimes I know, like, if you go into your head at the wrong time, like, you're feeling something, and then you start worrying about something else, or, you know, maybe this isn't right, that I'm doing it, or something like that.

1:15:18 Drew Worrying is the upper word here.

1:15:20 Guest Maybe you're trying to be aroused so much that you're not.

1:15:25 Caller Not really, because, you know, like, I like porn, okay, and that's really interesting to me, but it's just like when I get into a situation.

1:15:35 Guest It is.

1:15:35 Adam That's so fascinating. I find porn so fascinating, I don't even have a sound up.

1:15:39 Guest But maybe, maybe, maybe your experience isn't living up to your expectation. Maybe you have something going on in your head with the porno.

1:15:47 Guest Maybe the porno has tainted your, your, uh...

1:15:51 Drew Yeah, I think it's just anxiety provoking people. And you're 17, you're getting going.

1:15:56 Caller I will, it's like to the male gender. But when I like, I'm starting to, I get attracted to the same sex. That's okay. Like possibilities. Right. But I haven't experienced anything. And it's like, I'm thinking from like past experiences could have had effect on my like...

1:16:13 Drew What happened? What happened to you?

1:16:15 Caller Well, I've been, I got sexually wanted by my mother and her boyfriend at the same time.

1:16:19 Drew Oh my God.

1:16:20 Adam Hold on.

1:16:20 Caller Hold on. That's major. That's major.

1:16:22 Adam No, no. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:16:25 Drew Yeah. Everyone experienced that at least by the age of seven, I'd say, wouldn't you think?

1:16:28 Adam In America. Yeah.

1:16:29 Caller It was a while ago and I've learned to deal with it.

1:16:31 Guest No, Celine.

1:16:32 Drew No, no.

1:16:33 Guest It's not a normal thing that you just deal with.

1:16:35 Drew Yeah. That rewires your brain.

1:16:36 Guest Yeah. There is something to that for sure.

1:16:38 Adam All right. Well, hold on. Before we convince her to kill herself tonight, I'm going to say some things that are going to make you want to kill yourself tomorrow, Charlene. I'm going to hold off on that. First off, your mother, for Christ's sake, and they both participated at the same time?

1:16:56 Caller Yeah. Well, my mother's in jail now for that and drugs and all. I mean, I went through a whole lot.

1:17:04 Guest So they're not around you anymore?

1:17:06 Caller No, no, no. I was with my dad and my stepmom, which are really wonderful parents. I love my dad. Right.

1:17:10 Adam And your mother just had to be... Well, first off, something horrible was done to your mother.

1:17:16 Caller Yeah, it was. I know about her past and everything.

1:17:19 Adam By her, your grandfather?

1:17:21 Caller Yeah.

1:17:22 Adam That great old guy who someone put a bullet in his head.

1:17:24 Caller I don't talk to him or anything.

1:17:25 Drew Yeah, that's where it all started.

1:17:26 Adam Listen, Satan shouldn't talk to him. He's going to be offended.

1:17:29 Drew Satan should have it talking to him.

1:17:30 Adam Yeah, and I'm totally fine with guys like that. But I would love it if someone just took a shovel to him while they were asleep. Just a rusty goddamn shovel while they were asleep in their bed.

1:17:40 Guest Well, that's when the death penalty kicks in. That's like people with people in their fridge.

1:17:43 Adam Too long, too much. This is worse. I got to tell you, hold on. Are you seriously killing somebody on just this sort of scope of human being, 10 being Bess and one being, I don't know, Hitler or Charles Manson or something, or Richard Simmons or someone of that else. One being, one being, okay. The point is, a guy who murders somebody is like a three and a guy who bangs his daughter's a two, to me. That's lower. It's worse. I understand, murder in a way is a component of being a human.

1:18:25 Caller We don't act on it.

1:18:27 Guest Everybody has that compulsion, but you may not actually do it.

1:18:30 Adam Yes, but if someone put a gun in your hand and someone in a beer in your belly and someone did the right thing to you at the right time, you could do something to them. But there's no amount of beer that could get you to do this to your daughter.

1:18:42 Guest Nothing to provoke that behavior.

1:18:44 Adam You wouldn't look for it.

1:18:45 Guest It's not about self-defense.

1:18:47 Guest It's not about anything.

1:18:48 Drew It's about having been abused themselves.

1:18:49 Adam Yes, obviously. All right. So here's the deal. All bets are off for you, sweet pea. You got to work on. First off, I want to commend you. You sound amazing for somebody who's been through what you've been through.

1:19:02 Caller I believe those experience have made me a stronger person, and it helps me to deal with my friends if they are going through troubles.

1:19:09 Adam They have, but you're still starting life off at a little bit of a disadvantage, and it's going to take a lot to get back, and you're going to have to work hard, but that's going to make you a better, stronger person.

1:19:23 Guest You've already got that in you.

1:19:24 Adam In the meanwhile, something like your sexuality, all bets are off for a few years. I mean, you can have fun, you can experiment, don't get pregnant for Christ's sake, don't get the HIF or anything, take care of yourself, but just you need to work on you as a person, and your compass should be spinning around like a dreidel sexually. You should have no idea because of the trauma that you've suffered.

1:19:49 Caller Yeah, that's like exactly.

1:19:51 Drew And to even have arousal is, you can go into sort of two trajectories with this kind of history. One is you become hypersexual, and the other is you kind of shut down to sexuality.

1:19:59 Caller Well, yeah, because nothing like that interests me.

1:20:03 Guest Those things will work out if you fix the deeper issue.

1:20:09 Adam The opposite spectrum is that you're 17, you've made 28 porn movies already. That's where you could have went. So you didn't go there, so that's good.

1:20:20 Caller I keep active and do sports.

1:20:22 Adam Good. Take care of yourself.

1:20:25 Caller Okay, thank you.

1:20:25 Adam Tell your mom and stepdad I'll see them in hell.

1:20:29 Caller Okay, no problem.

1:20:32 Adam I want to be buried with a shovel, by the way, Drew.

1:20:34 Drew To go after the spoke when you get to hell?

1:20:36 Adam Well, to dig my way out in case something happens.

1:20:38 Drew Oh, I see.

1:20:39 Adam No, no, yes. For when I go to hell.

1:20:41 Drew Go after these guys.

1:20:42 Adam I'm bringing a shovel.

1:20:43 Drew Yeah.

1:20:43 Adam Yes. And I'll be very... You know me, I'm upset. I fly first class, as you know. I'm literally a millionaire, literally. And I fly the first class. You know how upset I get when they're out of, let's say, the salmon in first class. Imagine how pissed I'm gonna be when I'm in hell for jacking off too much.

1:21:02 Caller And I'm like...

1:21:05 Adam And I got a punk with Dahmer. Oh, man.

1:21:07 Caller You'll be pissed.

1:21:08 Adam I mean...

1:21:09 Drew You'll be having conjugal visits.

1:21:11 Adam How outraged will I be?

1:21:12 Guest Well, he'll be happy, though.

1:21:14 Adam He'll be happy, but that's why I'm bringing a shovel with me.

1:21:16 Guest Well, he won't be allowed to eat anyone, because that's got to be what hell would be for him.

1:21:19 Drew I was thinking about the afterlife.

1:21:21 Adam Oh, it's your own hell.

1:21:22 Guest Yeah.

1:21:22 Drew Yeah.

1:21:23 Guest He'd have to eat Jell-O. No humans could eat it.

1:21:25 Drew No, he'll be visiting with his family and having conjugal visits. That'll be your hell.

1:21:28 Guest But he doesn't get any hands.

1:21:30 Adam That'll be his hell.

1:21:31 Guest Yeah. No elbows.

1:21:32 Drew No, but here's the deal.

1:21:33 Adam I'll be sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner with canned cranberry sauce with the white trashmans every night. That'll be my hell.

1:21:40 Drew I was thinking about the afterlife today, and I thought to myself, you know how we finally sort of figured out and sort of figured out things that we can manage with the physical universe. I mean, all these brilliant people over thousands of years have put us into the state where technology is so advanced. Those people are over on the other side now. Can't they figure out what that universe is all about?

1:21:58 Adam Right. We can't get Copernicus and Galileo to get together or something.

1:22:03 Drew And Brian Stein.

1:22:03 Adam And put something together.

1:22:04 Drew Send us a message. They may already have any. How's that part of the universe put together?

1:22:08 Adam Well, Drew, you got to understand. They might have moved beyond us.

1:22:10 Guest They might be in another universe past that one.

1:22:12 Drew Yeah, but we should be figuring that one out. They figured this one out.

1:22:15 Adam Yeah.

1:22:15 Drew They'd make an eternity to figure that one out.

1:22:17 Adam These guys, they do talk to these people, these spiritual correspondents, I like to call them. They talk to people. They talk to the dead, but just in riddles. Nothing big. Sort of like when...

1:22:30 Guest Just to amuse the dead.

1:22:31 Adam You know when you're on your cell phone in your bad part of the canyon or something? That's what it is. I always love that end of it. I just saw a whole thing on 2020 last week on this. They get the people in the room. Who's... Somebody... Yes, somebody old died. Who? Anyone? Yes, me. Yes, my grandmother died too. Yes, and cancer, heart disease. Yes, genius. She was 85. Right. Seventy percent of people die of heart disease or cancer. Does she say? Now, let's see. Something about a brother, maybe a sister. She does. Why didn't she just tell her what it is? Either you can talk to the person or you can't. What is this whole riddle thing? You know, it's total nonsense. But I do agree with you, Drew. We have... We've had some of the greatest scientists and the greatest minds pass away over the last several thousand years. They could come back. Even Jesus ain't coming back. He's supposed to come back. He's not coming back.

1:23:36 Drew Just figure out a master of that universe. But how do you know they haven't?

1:23:40 Guest Because we're not in that universe.

1:23:41 Drew But when they talk to us, they don't talk about the technology of the other.

1:23:44 Adam Anderson was screwing around over there. He forgot the F word.

1:23:49 Guest She snuck it in on you.

1:23:52 Adam All right. All right. I agree. I agree. They're probably over there working like a combination, like VCR waffle maker or something. I'm sure it's bigger than we could understand.

1:24:05 Guest Yeah, it's bigger than all of us.

1:24:06 Drew They don't need those things because they're in heaven.

1:24:08 Adam No, no, they need waffles there. That's my heaven. I eat waffles. Nothing but waffles.

1:24:14 Guest But you've already established it and that's not where you're going.

1:24:16 Adam No, I'm going to hell. But if I go to heaven, I'm going on a waffle bin. My actually, my belief is, is if they really want to send you to hell, they let you run around heaven for a weekend and then they send you down there. Give you a little something. Yeah, a little taste.

1:24:34 Drew Back up to the big waffle house.

1:24:35 Adam Yeah, Monday morning, the alarm goes off. Yeah, I'm sitting there at the bib with a big picture of a waffle on it. You know, like a Mike Chops. And all of a sudden, a hatch door opens. I go sliding down to hell. All right, Mike.

1:24:51 Caller Yeah.

1:24:52 Adam Yeah, you're 25.

1:24:53 Caller Yeah, I just want to tell the cast what a great job they do on the show.

1:24:56 Caller Thanks, Mike. Valerie, you're fine, girl. I used to watch you when you're on that baseball show that you used to host.

1:25:02 Guest Yeah, thanks, man.

1:25:03 Adam The Fox pregame. Was it the pregame?

1:25:06 Caller Yeah. Did you ever do any movies or anything?

1:25:09 Guest I've done little stuff, nothing exciting.

1:25:11 Adam Oh, yeah?

1:25:12 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:25:13 Guest But thank you.

1:25:14 Caller She's single.

1:25:14 Guest Thank you very much.

1:25:15 Caller She is single?

1:25:16 Caller Dang.

1:25:17 Caller I wish I was you, Drew.

1:25:18 Caller Don't go with her.

1:25:21 Adam Where are you?

1:25:22 Caller I'm in Bakersfield.

1:25:23 Adam Yeah, Drew doesn't like she was you. Bakersfield, not part of California, by the way.

1:25:28 Caller Hey, be easy on it now.

1:25:29 Adam I'm going to work on that.

1:25:30 Drew We got to break California into fourths. We got to get the central, northern, far northern and southern.

1:25:36 Adam I'm going to do some serious cherry mandering when I'm in charge and start breaking it off because it's confusing. It really is confusing to people the rest of the country. They go, I got some guy coming from Bakersfield. He's got a big plug, a jaw on his lip and he's driving a pickup truck. And I'm like, where are you from? California. Where? California.

1:25:55 Drew He's from Alanchia.

1:25:57 Adam California.

1:25:58 Caller Where's that?

1:26:00 Adam California. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I thought there was like movie stars and Robert Yurok's from Cali. You're not from Cali. You and Robert Yurok are not from the same goddamn place. John Forsythe. No way, you two, he's not from California. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this. Yeah, Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew over there, Valarie Rae Miller and Richard Gunn are both here from Dark Angel. Tuesday Nights, nine o'clock on Fox. Show is number one hit of the new season. That's what I'm calling it. And it was number one last week. It beat, what's on Gunsmoke? What's it on again?

1:27:25 Drew Frazier.

1:27:26 Adam We haven't watched TV in a while. Gunsmoke, Still Andra. Rifleman. My Mother in the Car. Oh, Rifleman's right. Yeah, beat the CBS lineups. My Mother in the Car, Gunsmoke.

1:27:37 Drew Lost in Space.

1:27:38 Adam Bonanza, Lost in Space. My favorite Martian. Amos and Andy.

1:27:42 Guest Gilligan's Island.

1:27:43 Adam And that's followed, I think.

1:27:44 Guest The sad thing is they're all still on.

1:27:45 Adam Cronkite does the evening news and wraps it up. Then the Farm Report after that. Hey, you know, now everything's on TV all the time. Yeah. But I remember and I know you're old enough to remember this. Well, first of all, it was great when people signed off. Yeah. I mean, the station signed off every night, every night. Yeah. Like you knew you were staying up too late when you saw the blue angels. Yeah.

1:28:12 Drew And a flag, a picture of the flag.

1:28:14 Adam Right.

1:28:14 Guest And every time some stations need to sign and then it would go to a pattern.

1:28:19 Adam Right. And every once in a while, one of them had like a poem and they showed like an F14 fighter and it was flying up and up and he reached into the sky. It was like Chuck Heston narrates and he touched the face of God. It was like, I was like, listen, I don't even need to hear Chuck talking about God. I've jacked up nine times. I ate 14 bowls of top rum and it's 3.15 in the morning. I'm strung out. I'm still living at home. I'm disheveled. This sucks. I think about touching the face of God at three in the morning on a Tuesday night, but you knew you stayed up too late when they signed off. And when they-

1:28:59 Drew And it's depressing always too. It's like, oh jeez.

1:29:00 Adam It was depressing.

1:29:01 Drew Oh man.

1:29:02 Guest It was not too late.

1:29:03 Adam It was, yeah, it was twofold. It was A, no more programming for you to watch. And B, the party's over. I mean, hey, it's like when they flick the lights on it, at the nudie bar, turn the house lights on. It's like, oh Christ, yeah.

1:29:17 Caller What night? What?

1:29:18 Adam Monday night? Oh Jesus.

1:29:20 Caller Yeah.

1:29:20 Adam You feel bad. You start sober up. You got to go home. But there also used to be really horrible shows on it for in the morning and stuff. They'd start reprogramming. Yeah. But I mean, they had like, they had shows like farm report and stuff, like regional farm report. There used to be a show called Let's Rap. Bad 70s form shows. We have Roberto Zapata, Zasquela Alonzo, Conchita, Gascuela here. She's representing the Great Pickers Union. And on our right, we had some chips like 40 foot Afro. Very proud. They're sitting there. And then we got some white guy over here and they're all sitting around this bad white coffee table talking about issues.

1:29:57 Drew Mostly was it old B movies?

1:29:59 Caller Yeah.

1:29:59 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah.

1:30:00 Guest You know what I like that comes on right now? Infomercials. I can't watch them because they hook me in.

1:30:05 Drew No, Adam, that's Adam's thing.

1:30:07 Guest Do you like them too, Adam?

1:30:08 Adam Yeah, I bought a Wonder Mop.

1:30:09 Caller Oh, my God.

1:30:10 Adam I don't even know what to do with a mop. I bought a mop.

1:30:12 Guest No, it's like the mop vac because I wanted that. And I didn't order.

1:30:15 Adam Oh, the mop vac. No, I'm looking into one of those steamer things.

1:30:18 Guest Oh, well, you can close the vegetables in.

1:30:20 Drew Let's take some calls.

1:30:21 Caller Yeah, there we go.

1:30:22 Adam By the way, in what universe does your shower ever get as bad as they do on those commercials? You know, they open the shower door, it's like a goddamn chia pad in there.

1:30:30 What does this person do?

1:30:32 Adam Is that like a stroke or something?

1:30:34 Guest What's going on?

1:30:35 Adam I mean, I'm a bachelor. My shower's not pretty, but I don't have mushrooms growing on the side of it.

1:30:41 Drew It's also like it's like some sort of limestone runoff. Yeah, it's like a cave.

1:30:46 Guest It's an atrium.

1:30:47 Adam Yeah, it's like. Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, there's a stalactite coming up from the ground.

1:30:52 Guest That cave of lime.

1:30:54 Adam All right, Rachel.

1:30:56 Caller Hi.

1:30:57 Adam Hi, you're 20. What's up?

1:30:58 Caller I just called to let you know that my husband and I love Huel Hauser.

1:31:02 Adam Oh, boy. It's life in the fast line. You're up pretty late for a Huel Hauser fan.

1:31:08 Caller I know.

1:31:08 Caller I heard someone mention him. I'm like, I have to call him and tell him that we watch Huel Hauser.

1:31:13 Adam Yeah.

1:31:14 Caller And beautiful.

1:31:17 Adam Huel's great to watch. He's been KCT for 150 years doing the LAP out here. He's great. Well, the good thing about Huel is you can go get something to eat or take a dump in between words. Not miss anything. A lot of shows you'll miss half the show.

1:31:33 Caller Well, we even have a favorite episode.

1:31:35 Adam What is here? What were they? A food?

1:31:37 Caller He wants to go visit like some llama like animal in Sylmar.

1:31:40 Adam Oh, he wants to go to Sylmar. Yeah, he does his back. He just tours people's backyards. Great. What do you call it, Huel? That's called a hibachi.

1:31:51 Guest A hibachi.

1:31:54 Adam What do you do on that? Huel, we barbecue on it. Yeah, Bob.

1:31:59 Drew We didn't get on the show.

1:32:00 Adam Oh, yeah, so he can kick my ass. That guy's like 6'6. He's big. He's got guns the size of a pro wrestler.

1:32:07 Drew Yeah, Ann's working on it.

1:32:08 Adam Oh, boy.

1:32:10 Guest Go, Ann.

1:32:11 Caller Huel, this is wonderful.

1:32:14 Caller Yeah, I love him.

1:32:16 Adam But listen, Rachel, you've seen him tour the food factories. That's when...

1:32:20 Caller My husband just mentioned he's all... Did you see the episode when he went and ate menudo?

1:32:25 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:32:26 Adam It was a big menudo.

1:32:27 Caller The band or the food?

1:32:28 Adam No, the food. It was a big menudo cook-off.

1:32:30 Guest He's really adventurous.

1:32:32 Adam Apparently, there's some pretty big controversy in the menudo schools, which is there's the red menudo and like the white menudo.

1:32:39 Caller It's great.

1:32:40 Adam Yeah, that's fantastic programming.

1:32:43 Caller And I also live in Sonny Burbank, California.

1:32:46 Adam All right. Three months. All right, you need to kill yourself now.

1:32:49 Caller And three parking tickets.

1:32:51 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, they're right on top.

1:32:53 Guest They do parking tickets in Burbank?

1:32:55 Guest You're going to get the boot.

1:32:56 Caller I know.

1:32:57 Drew At least they got that airport where we forgive or burbank everything. Yeah. Because of the airport.

1:33:01 Adam Thanks, Rachel. You know, it's great about that boot they put on your car. I was just talking about this with my partner, Jimmy, the other day. It's like, you have left your car here for six months. We're putting the boot on it. Well, great. Now it's going to be there for the rest of its life. It's ironic that they're actually immobilizing something because it has not been mobile. No, no, no.

1:33:21 Guest They tow it when you have the boot on there.

1:33:23 Adam Eventually, they tow it.

1:33:24 Guest Not even eventually. If you leave it for a weekend, I mean, this happened to me once, and they tow your car within a couple of days.

1:33:31 Adam But it is ironic that they render something immobile because it wasn't mobile.

1:33:36 Drew Make it more immobile. Jake, we got to just second here.

1:33:39 Adam You got a broken leg, we'll break your other leg.

1:33:41 Drew Jake is 14.

1:33:42 Caller Yep.

1:33:43 Guest Real quick.

1:33:45 Caller Like sporadically, my testicles hurt. Just for no reason.

1:33:50 Drew Both of them?

1:33:51 Caller Well, yeah.

1:33:52 Drew Or they seem to be on one side more than the other?

1:33:54 Caller Both.

1:33:55 Drew Simultaneously?

1:33:56 Caller Just for no reason. I'll be walking around and it'll start hurting. Something's wrong with his testicles?

1:34:03 Drew You ought to have a doctor look at that, because sometimes you can get torsion with a twist and they can cut their own blood supply off and it can be a real serious, actually an emergency situation. And there can be inflammations and other things that can cause us hernias and things too. It can be painful sometimes. But it's not nothing. It may be nothing, but it needs to be assessed before you can assume it's nothing, okay?

1:34:24 Caller All right.

1:34:24 Adam It's just not a doctor.

1:34:25 Caller I have another quick question real quick. Just for Dr. Drew, about can tobacco be picked up by UA's?

1:34:33 Drew It could be. Yes, it routinely is, in fact.

1:34:36 Adam What?

1:34:37 Drew Nicotine. Urine. Urine toxicology.

1:34:39 Adam Oh boy. This guy's a 14 for Christ's sake. What's he doing?

1:34:43 Guest Well, it's testing.

1:34:44 Adam Hey, Jake?

1:34:45 Guest Yeah?

1:34:45 Adam 14. Your nuts are on fire. Your chain is smoking. You're getting tested for drugs.

1:34:49 Caller I'm not smoking. I'm just chewing. I live in a hick town. I just chew a little bit. And I'm just wondering if they can pick it up in UA's.

1:35:00 Adam Why are you getting your drug tested? Why are you getting your urine? At 14?

1:35:05 Guest You get cancer in your mouth.

1:35:07 Guest Your doctor checked your balls too.

1:35:08 Guest And it's really common to get cancer in your mouth. I'm from Texas and I know so many people that got it like that. Chewing.

1:35:13 Adam Yeah, and it ain't pretty either.

1:35:15 Drew Nicotine is picked up in the urine.

1:35:16 Adam Alright, easy on the dip there, Gina.

1:35:18 Guest And nobody wants to kiss.

1:35:19 Adam Are you in California?

1:35:21 Drew No.

1:35:22 Adam Good. Stay out. Alright, we'll be back.

1:35:49 Caller Listen to Loveline, R-94-7, NRK.

1:36:01 Adam All right, that is it. I want to thank Valerie and Richard for coming in here tonight. Dark Angel, everybody. Thanks for having us. Thank you very much. Our pleasure. Good to see you guys. Tuesday nights, nine on Fabulous Fox. Good luck. Thanks for coming in. And congratulations on the show. Thank you, man. Everclear, tomorrow night, everyone. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:36:23 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

1:36:25 Adam I am so mad at you, mom.

1:36:28 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2000