Episode 1000754886979

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-4-4-5-5. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, I'm delighted to have back in the studio Everclear. Art, Craig, and Greg are all here from the band. Drew, I'm not as excited about seeing. And he's sick, and so is half the band. So it's going to be a tough night. I can say I'm going to have to toe the line one more time.

1:44 Caller You know what always amuses me is you always go, Drew is a board certified physician, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Never say what you are. What are you?

1:54 Adam I am a buck-toothed, Brillo head, a-hole from North Hollywood.

1:59 Caller I think you're a sick bastard.

2:01 Drew He used to call himself a philosopher-warrior.

2:04 Adam Yeah.

2:07 Caller You were one of those freaks out in Tahonga beating on drums and stuff with a bunch of men, right?

2:13 Adam You know what, I swear to Christ I hope my mom is not listening. I found out recently that my mom met my stepfather in primal scream therapy. That equals another six years of therapy for me, you understand?

2:29 Drew Oh yes.

2:30 Adam At least six.

2:30 Drew On many levels.

2:33 Caller You know the worst thing about that whole primal scream thing? That's where the song from Tears For Fears Shout came from.

2:40 Adam Really?

2:41 Caller They spent a summer in primal scream therapy.

2:43 Drew An entire summer.

2:45 Adam How can you do that?

2:46 Drew It did them a lot of good.

2:49 Caller They got the big hair out of it.

2:51 Adam I don't even know if that's around anymore, is it?

2:53 Drew No.

2:54 Adam No. You just... I remember, I remember, and we'll go all over the place tonight, the thought was if you have anger, you gotta get it out.

3:03 Drew Yeah, there's a whole theory about evocative therapy, is that if you could just evoke the feeling, it would vanish into thin air.

3:09 Adam Yeah, they had these things called like bataka bats. Remember those are like handed sticks that you'd beat the cramp over.

3:17 Caller We were giving those when I was in like fourth or fifth grade.

3:20 Adam Bataka bats?

3:20 Caller Yeah, man.

3:21 Drew Here's the logic to that. You give Mike Tyson, put him in the ring, let him really start going at it and then go, okay, you feel better now?

3:26 Adam Yeah.

3:27 Caller Stop, stop.

3:28 Drew Is he good? Right?

3:29 Adam No, because he, yeah, right. He rapes a chick on the way back to the locker room.

3:33 Drew Yeah, now he's got ahead of state. No, he's just up. Yeah, now he's really going. Are your brains in an entirely different state then? Things you would never otherwise even experience, you're now in that state.

3:42 Caller It's true. I take it you don't philosophy. You don't, you don't cotton to that philosophy.

3:47 Drew No, it's a good thing.

3:48 Adam No, he doesn't. Songs from an American movie, volume two. We were talking about volume one last time we were here. This just hit the record stores a few days ago. Good, a, oh wait a minute. Yeah, good time for a bad attitude. And this is Everclear's second CD in this sort of two CD set that's not being released simultaneously. Would that be the way to say it?

4:12 Caller Yeah, I guess.

4:14 Adam One's a little more melodic and the other one's more of a rock CD.

4:17 Caller This is the rock CD.

4:18 Adam Right and I've been seeing the guys on TV and hearing everything on the radio so I'm just assuming everything is going extremely well for the band.

4:27 Caller It's going good.

4:28 Adam Good.

4:28 Caller People buying records, things are good.

4:30 Adam Yeah, that's good. You guys, I'm trying to think, I always offend the band but your band, we have a lot of bands on this show that come on real strong and then they fade away. And then there's other bands that come on real strong and they just keep going like gangbusters which is sort of few and far between and they don't come back onto this show ever. But you guys came on strong and I thought, oh these guys are great, I hope they're around for a while. And then they leveled out for a while but not a dip, just kind of a level and then came back strong again which is great and you came back which is great.

5:07 Caller So basically, we're in a state of perpetual aggressive mediocrity that tends to lend us to have to stoop to your level.

5:17 Adam Cyclical aggressive mediocrity that breeds repetitiveness and complacency. Right, Drew?

5:25 Drew Yes, yes.

5:25 Adam Thank you.

5:26 Drew Thank you.

5:26 You were afraid you were going to offend us. Not at all.

5:29 Caller We're right there with you.

5:30 Adam Here's Hawkeye who's 22.

5:34 Caller Hey, I love your show.

5:35 Adam Thanks.

5:36 Caller I've got a little fetish type problem that I can't seem to get rid of. The only way I can really get aroused with my wife is she has to take a shower and I have to be in the act of like tallying her off and otherwise I'd have no arousal whatsoever. I was wondering what I could do to change that.

5:58 Drew What is it about the tallying off process?

6:00 Caller I don't know. Just the act of doing it I guess is really kind of gets me going and there's nothing else that will do it for me.

6:06 Drew How often does she have to act this out for you?

6:08 Caller Boy, every time we want to do it, so probably every other night or so.

6:14 Adam Does it have anything to do with hygiene? I mean, do you wonder, does the cleanliness part turn you on or is it the actual blotting that gives you a boner?

6:23 Caller It's the actual, the rubbing and that kind of thing.

6:26 Adam Yeah.

6:27 Caller And nothing really else is going for me but that. I just want to know what I can do to change that around.

6:31 Drew Well, why do you have to change it necessarily? Why is it important to change it?

6:34 Caller Is she getting tired of taking showers?

6:38 Caller Yeah, she's tired of being clean, I guess.

6:40 Caller How about a bath? Is that okay? Is it just the toweling off?

6:44 Caller It's just the toweling off.

6:46 Caller Does she have to be wet or can you just rub her dry?

6:49 Drew Take a squirt bottle, it was a little...

6:50 Adam Yeah.

6:51 Drew Mr. Spray, Mr. Yeah.

6:53 Adam There was a little... Seltzer bottle.

6:55 Yeah.

6:56 Adam I had a little humor in the boudoir.

6:59 Caller What's not funny about that? Pie in the face, Seltzer bottle.

7:03 Adam Yeah, Hawkeye, I don't know if this works for you and it's not hurting anybody and she doesn't seem to mind. I mean, we're all for it.

7:11 Caller Why not?

7:12 Caller Sounds good, I guess.

7:14 Adam All right. Hey, can you watch pornography?

7:18 Drew While you're towing?

7:19 Adam Towing. Can you watch a regular porn or do you have to watch shower porn?

7:26 Caller Well, no.

7:27 Caller If so, let me tell you about one. There's one called Nymph with Chasie Layne. It's all about every time this guy turns on the shower, the nymph from the underwater spring comes out.

7:38 Adam Oh, really?

7:39 Caller And has sex in his bathtub. But she can only have sex and her and her little, her vixen friends can only have sex when they're around water. And the amazing thing is they're the spirits of Native American princesses that were killed in the water and became water nymphs.

7:58 Adam I like when they get real lofty with the premises for those things.

8:01 Caller It's really cool because Native American princesses from like 400 years ago had tattoos, tribal tattoos all over their pelvic region and piercings in their nipples. It's pretty cool. I didn't know that.

8:15 Adam Right. And a bad weave. Hey Hawkeye, I'd like to recommend a porn called Mrs. Bubble. Now this is one that's not talked about.

8:26 Drew All right.

8:27 Adam All right Hawkeye, enjoy yourself.

8:29 Drew It is interesting to know that people that have fetishes usually are sort of ashamed of them. They think there's something wrong. They need to change it.

8:34 Caller Do you really think that was real?

8:36 Drew I don't know.

8:36 Adam Yeah, who cares? I'm with art though. It is funny when they try to do these historical porn movies. And you see that Washington or some guy is playing like MacArthur, but he's sporting a mullet. You know what I mean? It's just as bad. It's as bad as those Westerns from the 50s, when the guy had the hair pomade and the hair and grease back and the whole thing. Actually, it's a little better. Kane?

9:04 Yeah?

9:05 Adam You're 16. What's up? Hey, I just made my question.

9:09 Caller Just say hi to you guys. You guys rock. Adam, I'd take a bullet for you.

9:13 Adam Great. Great.

9:14 Caller Dr. Drew, I think you should run for president.

9:16 Adam All right. There you go.

9:18 Caller And you are an asshole.

9:19 Caller Oh.

9:21 Adam Does that take a bullet for me? Is that, would that work if I was going to be shot and I could somehow substitute you at a later date to be shot for me? Yeah, any time you want, you can pull me in.

9:31 Drew However it would work, he's willing to do it.

9:32 Caller I think it's connected with him being president.

9:35 Drew Yeah, right.

9:36 Caller I think Drew is smarter than Bush and Gore put together.

9:39 Caller Yeah.

9:39 Caller Bravo. He is.

9:41 Drew But it's not hard to...

9:41 Caller And he's up for the vice president.

9:43 Adam Thank you. I immediately have... And now we're gonna shout. All right.

9:46 Caller Let me say to the people of America and the nations of the world, that I hate your ass.

9:52 Adam Great, too, with that sound.

9:54 Caller You got me laughing all the time.

9:55 Adam All right, Kane.

9:56 Caller All right, see you later, guys.

9:57 Adam Thanks a lot there.

9:58 Caller Jessica. Yeah.

10:00 Adam 23, what's up?

10:02 Caller I'm calling because I've been listening to your show a lot, waiting for someone to call up my problem. No one has. I'm calling because I have no vaginal sensation when I have intercourse.

10:14 Drew Like numbness?

10:16 Caller No, it's not necessarily numbness. It's just like someone touching my arm or something like that.

10:24 Caller It's just...

10:26 Drew You aren't aroused by it.

10:27 Caller Right.

10:28 Adam That's only when... Jesus Christ, Drew, you sound like Kissinger tonight. It's just going to be a long night. Can you go blow some phlegm or something? Do something, would you please? Jessica.

10:41 Caller Yeah.

10:42 Adam What about oral stimulation? What's that feel like?

10:44 Caller You know, I've been with my boyfriend for many years. And in four years, I've had an orgasm twice through oral stimulation. I'm fine down there. It's just that, you know, he doesn't know I have this problem. Oh, boy.

11:01 Adam Yeah. But I'm going to ask again, what does it feel like during oral stimulation? Does it feel numb?

11:06 Caller No. During oral stimulation, I can't achieve orgasm. It's just oral stimulation doesn't last that long because he thinks I can have orgasm and orgasm vaginally.

11:17 Caller Do you act like you have orgasms vaginally? Well, there you go.

11:22 Caller But, I mean, I don't want our relationship to fail. I don't want him to think it's his problem.

11:28 Drew It is his problem.

11:29 Caller It's not his problem.

11:30 Caller It is his problem.

11:31 Caller Well, it's not his fault, okay? It's not his fault.

11:37 Adam If this guy gave you oral sex for 20 minutes, would you have an orgasm?

11:43 Caller Yeah, I probably would. It takes me a little while because I kind of tense up.

11:48 Drew Yeah, let's listen. When people tell us they don't feel anything below their waist, one of the first questions we ask is, were you sexually abused? Because that's sometimes what happens when people have that history.

11:57 Caller Did it shock you?

11:58 Caller Well, when I was young, about eight, there was a kid who was 12 that I hung out with and we did experimenting. But other than that, it wasn't sexually abused.

12:06 Drew Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

12:07 Adam Drew, the wind blows in your crack and Drew claims that sexual abuse from guys.

12:11 Drew No, if it was-

12:12 Caller Well, he was older than me and he obviously knew it.

12:16 Adam Yeah, an affair when you were nine. It's no big deal.

12:18 Drew Listen, you were eight?

12:19 Caller Right.

12:20 Drew Did he try to put his penis in you?

12:21 Caller Yeah, he did. But at last-

12:23 Drew Okay, guys, okay.

12:24 Adam All right, the penis was attached to him?

12:26 Caller I'd have an eight-year-old girl if I found some closer-

12:29 Drew That is sexual abuse.

12:30 Caller Yeah.

12:30 Drew That is profound sexual abuse and that will affect you.

12:33 Caller No, I agree with that.

12:35 Adam All right, how many times did that happen?

12:37 Caller Once.

12:38 Adam One time?

12:39 Caller Once and I remember it was like five minutes.

12:44 Adam Did you freak over it?

12:46 Caller No, I didn't. It was kind of an experimental thing.

12:49 Adam All right, let me talk to the panel for a moment. See, it only happened once. I understand that she has this problem, but it seems like too much for too little.

12:57 Drew I agree with you.

12:58 Adam I agree with you guys that it's sexual abuse.

13:00 Caller Did she have lovers before it and she had, hi.

13:03 Caller Yes.

13:04 Caller Hi. Did you have lovers before your current significant other?

13:09 Caller No, I didn't actually. I, no.

13:12 Drew Maybe this relationship isn't working.

13:14 Caller No.

13:16 Caller It's not the relationship. I absolutely love him. We've been together for a long time. There's nothing wrong with the relationship. That's what I'm calling it.

13:23 Drew Except you're not really into it.

13:24 Caller It's something physical. I love having sex with him. That's why I have sex with him.

13:30 Adam I'll roll my penis and coke to numb it up so I can keep an erection when I'm with the ladies. Sometimes that numbs the vagina.

13:37 Caller I see. Too much information for me. How about you guys?

13:41 Adam I didn't tell you guys that?

13:43 Drew I thought he usually snorted up his penis.

13:46 Adam I tried to train my penis to do that. It hurt when I was shoving that 20 up in there.

13:57 Caller He sounds like Henry Kissinger doing that.

14:00 Drew But listen, Jessica, so that may have had an influence on what's going on here. You certainly got yourself in a bind in terms of faking it with him. One of the things we tell people is to now make it seem like something has changed. For some reason, you don't understand why your functioning has suddenly halted. Maybe you could do this, a little bit of this, a little bit of that to try to bring you back in line again.

14:20 Adam Right. It's like with the faking of the orgasms. It's like if you've been ripping off your work for five years, the day you get busted is the first day you started ripping stuff off. I mean, that's your wrap, right? No.

14:34 Caller The problem is that he's very eager to please me.

14:38 Drew Right. So give him that opportunity.

14:40 Caller So the wedding will go on for an hour.

14:41 Adam Yeah.

14:42 Caller But-

14:42 Drew It's not the right kind, Jessica. It's not what you need. And you have to stop and say, I don't know what it is, but try this.

14:47 Adam Tell me once more of the oral sex.

14:49 Drew That's all.

14:49 Caller But what I want to know is, because I've talked to my gynecologist about it, and she said that some people have this problem. I mentioned it to her. And she said that some people have this problem. I don't know if it's hereditary. I don't ask my mom.

15:03 Caller You don't want to talk to your mom about that's no stimulation? How weird.

15:07 Drew Listen, we talked to lots of people who have problems with arousal and whatnot, and we're real pretty, all of us, I think, are pretty clear what Jessica's problem is.

15:14 Adam Yeah.

15:14 Drew Right? It has something to do with the sexual abuse past, but most importantly, it's her inability to be present and assert herself during her sexual experiences.

15:22 Adam Yeah.

15:23 Drew And she can't even, even to the point of, will not listen to our direction. No, it's not that. It's not that. When she knows she can function, if she just gives them some direction.

15:31 Adam If people do not want to accept my assertion, then I'm ready to move on to other calls.

15:35 Drew Okay.

15:36 Adam All right.

15:38 Caller I'm glad you guys feel good about it.

15:40 Adam Listen, I had a long talk with Drew the other day. I said that we don't have to help every goddamn person who calls this show.

15:45 Drew No, no, that was not a long talk. There's something you mentioned every night for the last six months.

15:50 Adam One out of five seems good to me.

15:52 Caller You know, lately, you guys have been sounding a little edgy on the air. Little edgy.

15:56 Adam Yeah.

15:56 Caller Got to tell you, sometimes I want to call in every time I plan on calling in. I call in and it's like, oh, hey, Art, this was this was a tape like three months ago. I'm like, hey, the guys will put me on the air. I'll be great. I'll be fine.

16:10 Adam Hey, wait a minute. What are you talking about? We do a show live every night.

16:15 Caller Shut up.

16:16 Drew It must be one of the times. We were out occasionally.

16:19 Adam Yeah, I've missed like-

16:20 Caller You were out at that with one of those juggies or something.

16:23 Adam Oh, yeah. I may have been-

16:25 Caller Vanessa?

16:26 Adam Oh, yeah. I may have been in Jamaica or something. You know how it is, Drew.

16:30 Drew You're a big star and literally-

16:32 Adam Literally a millionaire. Literally. Matt?

16:35 Caller Who cares?

16:36 Adam Matt, you're 19. What's up?

16:39 Caller I had a question about birth control side effects. My girlfriend is using Depo-Provera. And we read that some of the side effects might include increased or decreased sexual desire. Yep. And it seems to be decreasing.

16:55 Drew That's more often than not what happens.

16:56 Caller Oh, really? Is there anything you can do about this?

16:59 Drew Wait it out. Don't do it again.

17:01 Caller What's that?

17:02 Drew Wait the three months. It takes about three months for it to-

17:04 Caller Well, she's been on it for how long? About a year now.

17:09 Drew Yeah, right.

17:10 Adam But you get the shot every three months, right?

17:12 Drew So don't take another shot.

17:14 Caller Don't get another shot?

17:15 Drew Just get-

17:16 Caller It's so easy.

17:18 Adam But, man, it-

17:20 Drew Wait a minute, man. Change your birth control. Change the birth control, Greg. Go back on the pill.

17:25 Caller The pill?

17:26 Caller Would that be a safe?

17:27 Drew It would, Heal Houser. The pill?

17:29 Adam It really is. I've never seen a guy. This is like a parrot. Are you on some pirate shoulder right now? The pill shivered me timbers. I've asked there.

17:43 Drew Listen, the shot will wear off at three months. Don't take another shot. Use another means of contraceptive. Preferably the pill. Not so much progesterone, which is what is in the Depo Prevara.

17:55 Adam When did she get the shot last, man?

17:57 Caller Last? What was she to do for another one?

17:59 Adam Last?

18:00 Caller I guess it would be about three months.

18:01 Adam Man, I'm going to ask you a serious question. I don't take the wrong one, but I'm doing a survey. When you're driving and you see a road sign, like yield, do you physically say yield while you're driving? Or do you just take in the meaning of the sign? Sometimes if I'm a little buzzed, I will actually say stop or yield.

18:20 Drew Well, in Matt's case, he puts a question mark at the end of each state. Yield. Stop.

18:24 Adam Hey, Matt, here's how you do it. You flush it out of her system with massive quantities of white vinegar. You hear me? You get her drink about a gallon and a half of white vinegar every day, and that'll flush it out. Okay? And then she goes on to the pill.

18:42 Caller Don't forget to tell them about the leeches.

18:44 Adam Oh, yeah. You want to go even faster and more economical way, you go leeches. I'm guessing you live near a swamp.

18:52 Drew Okay.

18:53 Adam No.

18:53 Drew Matt, here's the deal. When did she have her last shot?

18:56 Caller It seems, well, she's due for another one, so it's probably about three months ago.

18:59 Drew Okay. So don't take the next shot. Go to the doctor and get another kind of contraception for her.

19:03 Caller What do you suggest?

19:04 Drew Like... Try ortho 777. Okay?

19:09 Caller Ortho 777. Okay.

19:10 Drew All right. There you go.

19:11 Adam All right. You writing that down?

19:13 Caller Yeah.

19:13 Caller I've got it in my head. All right.

19:15 Adam Well, hold on there, buddy. You got a lot of other stuff in your head, too. There's not a lot of room for you up there. You got the hee haw song up there. You got the country bear jamboree, the images of the papa bear. You got a lot of stuff floating around there. Give that to me again.

19:33 Drew What's the pill?

19:34 Caller Ortho 777.

19:35 Adam Ortho. Ortho.

19:37 Caller Ortho.

19:38 Caller Ortho.

19:39 Caller Ortho.

19:39 Caller Ortho good.

19:41 Adam That's right, buddy.

19:42 Caller Okay. Time to go.

19:43 Drew Whatever it takes, get him to remember it. That's fine.

19:44 Adam Let's see. If I'm one of Matt's buddies, I start suggesting that he wears one of those blackboard necklaces. It's a little blackboard that comes on a string that you put around your neck, a piece of chalk on a string.

19:54 Caller Kind of a flavor-flav test, right? Yeah.

19:56 Adam You get an idea, you got a notion, you got an address, you got a phone number.

20:01 Caller Pow!

20:02 Adam Right down onto that blackboard, and then you look at it periodically during the day.

20:06 Caller It's like riding in the back of a pickup truck, man. There's no way to have one of those and look cool.

20:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And if you do wear one of those in the back of a pickup truck, it'll take your head off, especially on the highway, because there's a lot of wind there. Michael?

20:20 Caller Yeah.

20:21 Adam You're 29?

20:22 Caller Yeah. How are you guys doing? Good. I got a question. I broke up with my fiancé about six, seven months ago. And about two months after that, I was put on a medication called Lamactyl, in addition to the...

20:36 Drew Lamictal. Lamictal.

20:38 Caller Yeah. In addition to the Depakote that I'm taking.

20:40 Drew You took both.

20:42 Caller Yeah. I'm taking both of them. And I know one of the side effects of Depakote is depression.

20:50 Drew Well, you're being given those medicines for depression. Unless you have a seizure disorder?

20:55 Caller Yes. I have epilepsy.

20:57 Drew All right. That's kind of a strange combo for Lamictal.

21:01 Caller Well, I was having... About a year ago, I started having seizures about every six weeks or so. And they put me under 24 hours to...

21:13 Drew Were you on Depakote at that time?

21:15 Caller I was on Delphoric acid.

21:17 Drew That's Depakote. Same thing.

21:18 Caller Well, yeah, but it kind of worked a little bit differently. So they put me back on Depakote.

21:23 Drew All right. So the pharmacology is a little different, but it's basically the same thing.

21:28 Caller Right. But according to my neurologist, it's slightly different.

21:32 Adam I'm going to need to get on antidepressant here soon.

21:34 Drew The point is, Depakote and Lamictal are both used for bipolar illness and actually used to treat depression. So it's kind of rare for them to cause depression.

21:43 Caller Okay.

21:43 Drew I mean, any medicine, you look at their package and say, depression's always on there. Okay.

21:48 Caller So from what I understand, if I take it for epilepsy, it kind of works the opposite from what I understood.

21:56 Drew Well, I'm not...

21:57 Caller Regardless, if he's feeling depressed...

21:59 Drew Yeah, if you're feeling depressed, you got to talk to your neurologist about it and get on something else. Like I said, any medicine you can name can cause depression.

22:05 Caller Or maybe he's just depressed because of the breakup of his fiance.

22:09 Drew Right, exactly.

22:10 Caller Are you in therapy?

22:12 Caller No, that was actually my other question. I had another question. If you knew of any, I guess, free services for therapy.

22:20 Drew What area are you in?

22:21 Caller San Diego.

22:23 Drew You can try UC San Diego Medical School. They usually have those sorts of things available.

22:26 Caller Okay.

22:27 Yeah?

22:28 Adam Don't try San Diego State. They're all in Tijuana trying to score.

22:32 Caller Yeah, though.

22:33 Adam You okay?

22:34 Drew I wouldn't be so terribly inclined to blame the medicines on this case. I mean, you should address it.

22:38 Caller But I wasn't blaming the medicines.

22:40 Drew No, no, I understand.

22:41 Caller I was just saying that having been through depression that maybe regardless of it, even though some people are treated for depression, maybe he's depressed anyways. And this medication, for whatever reason, isn't helping or making it worse.

22:56 Drew Yeah, right. Absolutely.

22:57 Adam All right. We are going to take ourselves a break. I just want to check in with Alex real fast here. 25?

23:04 Drew 15.

23:05 Adam Oh, is he 15?

23:05 Drew Oh, no, 25.

23:06 Adam Do you like the gang bang porn, do you?

23:09 Caller Yeah.

23:11 I also wanted to say hello to Everclear. I've been using him since the Tim Kerday.

23:17 Caller It's another subject.

23:18 Caller Oh, very cool. So you like the Everclear and the gang bang porn. Cool.

23:23 Adam Yeah, you're halfway to hell.

23:24 Caller Hey, man.

23:24 Not together, you know, but.

23:26 Caller Hey, man, there's a lot of times when I turn on the old gang bang porn, throw an Everclear record.

23:32 Adam That was it.

23:33 Caller Is that a freak flag fly?

23:34 Caller What are you talking about, dude?

23:35 Caller That's a combo.

23:37 Adam Is that like?

23:38 Caller Craig knows what I'm talking about.

23:39 Caller Not in my house.

23:39 Caller It's a combo not to be reckoned with.

23:41 Adam Is that like five guys and the one chick porn? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I like best about those movies is when they have the guys, the four guys who aren't getting the BJ during the gang bang are all kind of doing that sort of, it's not quite jacking off. It's like jack light. It's like the kind of jacking you do.

24:02 Caller It's maintenance jack.

24:04 Adam Yeah, it's a maintenance jack.

24:05 Caller They're just trying to maintain the stiffing.

24:08 Adam Yeah.

24:09 Caller It's like self fluff.

24:10 Adam It'd be like, it's kind of what the fighters do as they enter the ring. It's not actually the fight. It's just kind of staying loose, throwing a couple of jabs, moving the head around a little bit, you know, a guy on his back, putting a little sponge on the nuts, you know, just the guy's got to kind of keep it going, which is, I don't know, I would be insulted if I was the woman. And insult the four guys trying to keep it going.

24:34 Caller That's the whole reason behind it, man.

24:36 Adam They're being insulted.

24:37 Caller Pretty much. It's, can I?

24:41 Adam It is a little degrading.

24:42 Caller It's all about degradation. Can, do you have a girlfriend? Wife?

24:46 Adam Wait, hold on. I'll put them on hold. We're going to, we're going to take a little break. Everclear is here. We're going to hear something off the new CD, songs from an American movie. We'll take a little break. We'll get back with Alex Everclear and music after that.

25:03 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

25:05 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:07 Caller 1007-THE-BUZZ.

25:22 Caller This is the Loveline.

25:22 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. Here's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Art Craig and Greg are all here from Everclear. We're going to hear a song off the new CD, Songs from an American Movie. This CD just came out about four or five days ago, and this is the rock one. So we will hear something off of that, and I think we'll finish up with Alex, and then we'll hear a song. Alex? Yeah? Alright, so you're 25, and you like the gang bang porn.

25:57 Caller Well, I do, but it makes me, it's really, I think it's really degrading and disgusting at the same time.

26:03 Adam Right.

26:04 Caller And so my question is, well, I guess is that normal? I mean, I'm really, really, you know, turned on by it, but at the same time, the actual, you know, concept of it, I think, is really disgusting. And I get myself when I'm actually with my partner, feeling, you know, kind of like fantasizing about it, but at the same time feeling really guilty about it. And it's the big enough issue for me.

26:30 Adam You're thinking too much.

26:31 Drew It sounds like the way Adam relates to masturbation in general.

26:34 Adam Right.

26:34 Drew You overthink it. You feel guilty when you're by yourself. You're disgusted when you're done.

26:38 Adam You're ruined.

26:39 Drew It never happened again.

26:39 Adam It's like swinging a golf club. You can't be thinking about inhaling or exhaling or wind. You just, you got to swing away. You got to swing away. You think too much. It goes right into the sand trap. Your semen will go right into the sand trap. And then it will gather sand. You know, it'll come out like one solid piece. It's really gross. Alex? Yeah. You're doing too much thinking. The whole idea of porn is to kind of roll in your own filth for a few minutes a day. Or for me, like an hour and fifteen, hour and a half a day. But that's a whole deal. You know what I mean? Why is that going to a rock concert or something?

27:17 Caller So basically what you're saying is sex for you or when you're by yourself is better with an element of shame.

27:26 Caller Right.

27:26 Adam Yeah.

27:27 Caller Right.

27:29 Adam Or that kind of dicey, seedy element.

27:31 Caller Now, all joking aside, I've had issues like that in the past, like years ago when I was single or I was in relationships that I didn't feel fulfilled. Is there, is there a connection there? Do you think between one and one? Well, just, just a feeling of, of low self-esteem and shame. What's your self-image when you, after you watch it, are you pissed off at yourself? Alex, after watching this, even though you feel maybe sexually sated?

28:00 Caller Yeah. I feel, I feel kind of disgusted with myself. Like I, like I'm thinking below what my ethics would be.

28:07 Caller Is that a turn on at all though?

28:10 Caller Well, I'm feeling bad about myself.

28:11 Caller The shame, the element of shame.

28:14 Caller Maybe, maybe there's, I don't know, more thought.

28:17 Adam Well, do you think it translates in your relationships?

28:21 Caller Um, I don't know. That's, that's what I'm concerned about. I feel like there's this big reality.

28:27 Adam But listen, Alex, you know, you're 25. You're asking all the right questions. You're asking too many questions. You're nuts wish you would shut up and just whack off a little bit. I think you're going, you're fine. I'm not, I don't, he doesn't sound like a guy with a real problem to me.

28:43 Drew Well, not one that we can really deal with. I mean, all right.

28:46 Caller But let's get rid of him.

28:48 Drew He's got a lot of shame and he's got some issue of aggression towards women. And when he expresses it, he feels really guilty about it. And all right, but he would, he wants to degrade a woman in some way.

28:57 Adam But degradation is, I put him on hold. Degradation is kind of a part of a lot of people's arousal.

29:03 Caller Right.

29:03 Drew But for him, it has special meaning for some reason, because he feels super guilty about it. And he sort of equates that with feelings he has about his girlfriend and then hides it from them real quickly.

29:11 Caller He said his partner. He said his partner.

29:16 Adam He's talking about Alex. You're talking about a woman, right?

29:20 Caller Your partner.

29:21 Caller Alex, I think he hung up.

29:22 Drew His car phone. No, no, listen.

29:24 Caller Yeah, that's good radio.

29:26 Caller See, there's a big question.

29:27 Adam Let me ask that then. I think for most guys, a certain degree of degradation is good, or at least enjoyable in the bedroom.

29:38 Drew A certain degree of yourself or of the other.

29:41 Adam No, not of myself, you jackass. How dare you?

29:43 Drew Well, it's reciprocal.

29:45 Caller You're big into how dare you these days.

29:47 Adam Let me ask. That's my new.

29:49 Caller That's that's your new thing.

29:50 Adam It's my new thing. Well, listen, we got into two hours of radio. Now you got to say stuff over and over again. So you don't have to think so much. That's one of the things we don't have that problem. I know. But if you sat in here every night for two hours, you'd end up it's like you go out on concert, go out on tour, you sing the same songs every night, right?

30:07 Caller Well, yeah, but...

30:08 Adam How dare you? How dare you?

30:09 Caller How dare you? Well, how dare you?

30:12 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

30:13 Caller Let's open it up to the power. Let's see what the boys have to say about it.

30:17 Adam You guys, when you have sex, there's a certain amount of little ass grabbing, little teeth gritting, little hair tugging.

30:23 Drew When Craig and I have sex?

30:24 Adam Yeah, when you guys are getting on in the tour bus.

30:26 Drew Definitely.

30:27 Adam I think most guys have sex.

30:29 Caller They don't have sex anymore.

30:30 Adam There's a certain amount of, yeah baby, you love it. You know what I mean? Especially if you get a few beers and you're, Drew, will you back me up on this? Don't you think that's normal for most guys?

30:37 Drew A certain amount of aggression.

30:39 Caller Yeah, but I mean, it seems like a certain amount. Most women, I would have to say just about every woman I've ever met, to a certain degree, to varying degrees, that appeals to them.

30:52 Drew Degradation.

30:52 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

30:55 Caller To be submissive to a certain extent.

30:57 Adam Yeah.

30:57 Caller You guys are like cavemen. There's a little cave girl.

30:59 Adam Being naughty.

31:00 Drew You guys are talking around different things, though. Being submissive.

31:03 Caller I agree. I totally agree.

31:04 Drew But he's degrading. I mean, your grandmother and your mom hit you over the head with your own testicles.

31:09 Adam That was only in a dream.

31:10 Drew I understand. But we have no proof it was that. It's understandable that that would make you feel.

31:14 Adam I'm so sorry I ever told you about that, Drew.

31:16 Caller Why did you tell him that?

31:18 Adam I'm so sorry.

31:18 Caller He doesn't like you.

31:19 Drew He didn't realize what he was saying. He goes, I had this wild dream last night. I was in the swimming pool. I was in the deep end and these two haunchy women came over and beat me over the head with my own testicles just after describing his mother and his grandmother as haunchy. Five months ago.

31:33 Caller Oh, dude.

31:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I was beat with my own testicles by my family.

31:40 Drew So it's understandable that he would feel some need to degrade and feel power over somebody that made him feel that way.

31:47 Adam I see.

31:47 Caller I see.

31:48 Adam Is it important to you that I cry, Kissinger?

31:51 Caller No.

31:51 Adam Can't you go work on some kind of peace accord or some summit and have some salt treaty or something, you jackass? Why do you always do this in front of the band?

32:00 Drew I'm just inspired by R. How dare you?

32:02 Caller Can you please say the word testicles and the word haunchy? Why can't we just endure?

32:07 Drew The Soviet Republic tended to sport haunchy testicles.

32:12 Caller You did it better a minute ago.

32:14 Adam Yeah.

32:14 Caller He's not a good pressure guy, Drew.

32:15 Adam He turned his spot line on me tacos.

32:18 Drew You hit your nuts.

32:19 All right.

32:20 Adam We've got nowhere with that, but that's fine. Expect another hour and 25 minutes worth of that.

32:26 Caller Of the same.

32:27 Adam We're going to hear something from Everclear. You queued up there, Anderson. This one is called When It All Goes Wrong Again. It's a little offering from our good friends, Everclear. Songs from an American Movie, Volume 2, Good Time for a Bad Attitude is the name of the CD. It is currently out, and while you're out there picking up that CD, if you haven't already, you can get the Volume 1, Learning How to Smile, which is slightly more mellow of the two.

36:50 Drew How do you guys feel about Napster?

36:53 Caller What, about Napster in general, and the fact that they just, in general? Well, I think the technology is really cool. I think it sucks that they use anything or anyone borrows something without permission. I don't believe file borrowing or sharing is sharing or borrowing if you take something without somebody's permission.

37:18 Adam I totally agree. I mean, I know it doesn't sound cool. Like in a way you sound like you sound uptight when you say it.

37:25 Drew You're in the man's back pocket, Adam. That's the thing.

37:27 Adam Right.

37:29 Caller That's true.

37:30 Drew But aren't you by making yourself available to Napster, by being online in that way? Can't you block all that?

37:36 Caller No, you can't block it.

37:37 Drew You can't?

37:38 Caller No, the man, someone, they get their records because basically you have to send out advance records, right?

37:46 Drew Yeah.

37:46 Caller You have to send out that advance records to radio, to press, to publicity.

37:51 Drew That's how they get it.

37:52 Caller Shows like you guys get records before anyone else does. And someone along the way will sell it to Napster for 100 bucks and then...

37:59 Adam Oh, 100. Christ, I got... What did I get? 65 for the last one? 100 bucks. Are you asking me? Seriously. Sons of bitches. I've had it up to here with this Napster and their under-money, their dirty deal.

38:12 Caller Man, they just sold out to the man. They just did a deal with BMG.

38:16 Adam Well, I mean, I don't... I say, I don't subscribe to this theory that everything on the Internet should be free because it's not... I mean, it's merchandise. Anything that was being sold and is now free, that's wrong. Whatever it is, whether it's art or ideas or whatever it is, if somebody's charging for something, getting paid for it, then they should be compensated.

38:40 Caller Yes.

38:40 Adam I agree with that.

38:41 Caller Well, it costs money to make records, you know, and that's the whole thing.

38:44 Adam I mean, what if they did it with TV shows? You know what I mean?

38:47 Caller Well, they will. They're doing it with movies. They're starting to do it with movies. I mean, the technology is going to get to the point where they're going to be able to do that and someone connected with it is going to leak it. And once it's leaked, it's done. Right. A digital copy of a movie, it's like, you know, it's just going to be free. So basically it has to get to the point that people are going to start putting, you know, some sort of safeguards in it. And then the bright boys and girls on the other side of the fence are going to figure some way to get rid of that. I never worried about it as much and I never wanted to go out and be like Metallica and yell at people and make it a big deal because these things always figure themselves out. They really do. Sooner or later, I mean, I talk to people, I've got friends at work at Napster that used to work in the record industry and they're like, the only reason we came on is because we were told it was going to get legit, that there was a deal brewing. But right now, we have to appeal to all the frustrated college students and we need to get press. So the only way to get press is to be defiant and outlaw.

39:56 Adam Well, I heard, somebody showed me that there's a couple versions of me singing the Taboo 2 theme song on Napsap's song.

40:06 Caller We'll see.

40:08 Caller Yes, he does.

40:10 Adam You guys in the Taboo 2 at all? He knows how to please in every detail.

40:17 Caller Art is wondering what the hell's happened to him.

40:19 Adam The guy's banging his sister and his mom. Then you'd ever imagine. Jump into the ukulele, Greg.

40:27 Caller Yeah, I think that should be made available free. I mean, I don't think anyone should have to pay for that.

40:32 Adam Oh, please. The movie itself cost almost $1,800. Oh, yes, my big moment.

40:45 Caller That's my stage.

40:47 Adam That's the stage experience coming through.

41:01 Caller Something's wrong.

41:02 Adam The big ending here, alright?

41:03 Caller Go, go. Big hand for Adam Corolla.

41:19 Adam Thank you very much.

41:21 Caller I did that in case he was going to go into another standard.

41:23 Caller I had no idea.

41:25 Adam Yeah, that's that's the Taboo 2 theme song, which can be found on Napster, I'm told.

41:31 Caller All right.

41:31 Adam So I guess we're I mean, how much does it cost to make a CD? I don't know.

41:35 Caller Very, we got to go to a break.

41:37 Caller Hold on.

41:38 Adam So how much it cost to make this CD for you guys to make it?

41:41 Caller I mean, everything all in everything makes.

41:44 Caller Yeah, right.

41:45 Caller But it cost 400 grand, 400 grand. So that one cost more.

41:49 Adam Right. 400 grand. Why should it be free? Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what it is. You're buying a piece of that 400 grand.

41:55 Caller Well, the whole thing about the technology is if you only like one song off it, then buy that one song. Let's figure out how they can buy that one song. That's fair. But to me, it should be like anything. If you buy more songs, you get it cheaper.

42:10 Drew Well, that's the point. It should be able to drive price, but not eliminate price.

42:14 Adam All right, Kissinger. We're going to take ourselves a break. You bring that up at the next Summit meeting. When we come back, we'll talk to Julia. She's 17. She's hooked on the laxatives all after this.

42:27 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:29 Caller We'll be right back.

42:47 Caller This is the show known as Loveline.

42:50 Caller With your hosts, Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

42:53 Adam 90 Line, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Everclear is here. That would be Art, Craig, and Greg, all from the band. And Drew's nursing a cold. Art is nursing a cold.

43:08 Caller Yep.

43:08 Adam And Craig is nursing one as well. But Greg and I never felt better.

43:14 Caller That's right.

43:15 Adam All right, let's talk to Julia. Yeah, Julia's 17.

43:18 Everclear Hi, Everclear, you guys are awesome.

43:20 Caller Thank you.

43:21 Everclear Adam, Drew, before I ask my question, I just want to tell you, I think you guys are like wonderful people and you guys help out a lot of people.

43:29 Adam Thanks.

43:30 Everclear I saw you guys at the Best Buy in Westminster.

43:33 Adam Yeah.

43:34 Everclear Do you remember I asked you for free tickets to the Man Show, Adam?

43:39 Drew Yeah.

43:40 Everclear You remember that? Yeah. Well, I had a question about eating disorders.

43:45 Drew Okay.

43:46 Everclear For about a year, I probably been, I was bulimic for about five or six months at first, and then it got too hard to do. So I got, I found out about laxatives and I got hooked on those.

44:01 Drew But that's part of bulimia. It's still bulimia.

44:03 Everclear Yeah. But.

44:04 Drew I mean, you're not vomiting anymore.

44:05 Everclear Right.

44:06 Drew Well, it's the same thing.

44:08 Adam Now, how, how, I've never taken a laxative in my life. I put a jacuzzi jet in my ass several dozen times, which is the man's laxative. I don't have time for those things that kick in.

44:20 Drew You never, Art, you didn't hear this story?

44:23 Adam No.

44:23 Drew This was in preparation for weapons use of the, I guess you'd call it an ejaculate.

44:31 Adam Let me tell you, a man does what he's got to do.

44:33 Caller A 17 year old girl on the line, come on now.

44:36 Adam But the point is, I swear you shoot water 18 feet out of your ass. You've never seen, you've never seen anything like it.

44:43 Caller Why would you want to do that?

44:45 Drew Weapons.

44:45 Adam You know how...

44:46 Drew To fight back.

44:47 Adam Yeah. Who? Things, I was attacked by other guys who did that too. It was not a great time in my life.

44:56 Caller This is like two weeks ago?

44:57 Adam No, how dare you? This is almost nine weeks now. What is it? No, this is high school. But Julia?

45:05 Everclear Yeah?

45:06 Adam Get them off that one. You want to use the jacuzzi method or?

45:09 Everclear No.

45:09 Adam No. And how do the laxatives work? I know they work, but do you take it in the morning? Do you take it after the meal?

45:15 Drew They take lots of it all day long.

45:17 Adam Take it all day?

45:17 Everclear After the meal, but I never took it by like fifty or a hundred like most people do. I started out with about two, then moved to four and it kept going up. The most I ever took it once was about two days ago. I took like thirty-four of them.

45:30 Drew So it's bizarre as they think that somehow.

45:32 Everclear But they didn't work, they didn't work at all that good because my system's so used to it.

45:38 Drew Yeah, well you can get to the point where your colon won't move. I've had patients actually have to have a colon removed. They end up with a bag.

45:43 Caller Yes.

45:43 Drew Because the colon won't work anymore.

45:45 Caller Colostomy, that?

45:45 Drew Yes, absolutely.

45:46 Caller That's attractive. Yeah.

45:48 Adam And that adds weight to that big dookie bag. It does. What? Four or five pounds on average. I take mine off before I get on the scale. It's vanity. I admit it.

45:59 Drew It's interesting. It's not, you know, they somehow believe that somehow the laxatives make the food go through them. Which in fact is just causing chronic inflammation.

46:08 Adam But Julia, does it, I mean, so you eat a big, let's say Thanksgiving, you sit down and eat a big meal, right? Then you pop the laxatives immediately after you've finished a meal.

46:18 Everclear I don't eat a lot, though.

46:20 Drew No kidding.

46:20 Everclear It's just that it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like I bloat really easily.

46:25 Drew You bloat because again, your bowel swells up when you're not taking laxatives. And you've got to get off these things.

46:30 Everclear Like even-

46:31 Drew You're also going to get swelling in your legs when you stop. Your kidneys are severely stressed by all this. And the kidneys used to working hard to hang on to sodium and electrolytes. And when you stop, the kidney will still have been in a state of adjustment, will continue to hang on to the salt, and your legs will swell up like crazy for several months. And you just have to go through that.

46:50 Caller What about the mental aspect of that?

46:52 Drew Yeah, something has to be treated.

46:53 Caller I mean, you know you have a problem with this, right? That's why you're calling, which is really cool. But have you talked to anyone about it? Have you talked to... I assume you haven't talked to your parents?

47:04 Everclear No, I was actually going to call a therapist, try to get some help.

47:09 Drew Good.

47:10 Caller Good.

47:11 Everclear If I have to get it through my doctor, right? Well, they tell my... Isn't it illegal for them to tell my parents anything?

47:18 Drew That's right.

47:19 Everclear Okay.

47:20 Drew But be careful that they will be sending what's called explanation of benefit forms to your parents, which is show what they were paid for.

47:27 Everclear Right.

47:27 Drew If you've talked to your doctor about that, maybe there are ways they can sort of couch that in euphemisms.

47:32 Caller How does that work? Are you a member? Are your parents belong to an HMO?

47:37 Everclear No, PPO.

47:39 Drew Yeah, so they'll send an explanation of benefit back home.

47:41 Adam All right, we gotta take a break. But will it be a big stamp that says laxative junkie on the receipt that they get in the mail? No. All right, take care of yourself, Julia, please. We'll be back.

47:52 Caller Loveline.

47:52 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:55 Caller We'll be right back.

47:56 Caller Right now, go and join Loveline on 94.7 at RK. We'll do our alternative.

48:01 Caller Well, hell yeah.

48:02 Adam My goodness sake.

48:03 Caller Okay, terrific.

48:31 Caller It's Loveline.

48:32 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. That's Greg on the air drums in Space Ukulele. Craig is a nurse in a cold over there. So is Art. That is Everclear. And so is Drew. And I know we bring this up every time you get sick, but it is funny when a doctor gets sick.

48:50 Caller I love it.

48:50 Adam You have to admit that.

48:51 Caller There's a certain evil eye anywhere.

48:53 Caller Well, at least supposed to like heal. What is that? Physician heal thyself?

48:57 Adam Right.

48:58 Drew And also as a physician who attempts to do so as a fool for a doctor. But it's nice that I can entertain Adam in some capacity.

49:06 Adam It's funny.

49:07 Drew I'm not always that lame.

49:09 Caller Well, there's a payback because he constantly entertains you.

49:12 Adam But if you open the paper and read that the fire chief's house burned down, you chuckle just a little bit, wouldn't you? It's the same irony.

49:21 Caller Craig's got a story there.

49:23 Caller My grandfather was a Spokane fire chief up in Washington.

49:26 Caller Me and my brother set this big field on fire. We were on the paper and there was a picture of him scolding us.

49:33 Caller It was bad, bad, bad, bad.

49:36 Adam Wow. How old were you?

49:39 Caller My brother was like 10 and I was like 7.

49:42 Caller Did you ever set anything on fire big? Because I set a field on fire as well. I was showing off for some girl when I was like 4 or 5. Typical. Girls always get me in trouble. My first car, my first driving ticket, my first car, I went and got it when I was like 15 and a half, 16.

49:58 Adam Nova? What was it? Nova, Dart?

50:00 Caller Close dude. 69 Camaro.

50:02 Adam Camaro. No, 69. It jacked up in the back.

50:06 Caller Jacked up in the back. Bondo broken up all over the front.

50:09 Adam Primer all over the place.

50:10 Caller My mom begged me not to buy that car.

50:13 Adam Yeah.

50:13 Caller But it's my money.

50:14 Adam And how much that car cost you by the way?

50:17 Caller Oh, $800.

50:18 Adam $800.

50:18 Caller But that was $800, $1978.

50:21 Adam And what were you doing when you got popped? I mean, just doing a brody or something?

50:25 Caller Man, no. Check it out. I went over with, you know, I had a permit. So at the time, you could drive around with someone under 21. My friend was 18. So we went and got a six-pack beer. Got in the car. Went over and picked up my friend Dee Dee, who I had a big crush on. And she's like, make it go fast. So I'm just like, whaa! Down this residential street in Santa Monica, you know.

50:49 Adam Did you've been wrenching on the car? Did you put some headers or cams in it?

50:54 Caller I just picked up the car.

50:56 Adam Ah, perfect.

50:56 Caller And sitting at the end of the street, there's this cop sitting in his car with his dog, canine guy, eating a sandwich.

51:03 Caller Eating a donut?

51:04 Caller Yeah, no, a sandwich.

51:05 Caller Sandwich?

51:06 Caller Probably gonna wash it down with a couple of donuts.

51:08 Adam Did you go to traffic school? Did you pay it off? What did you do?

51:10 Caller Oh, well, that was interesting because I went and talked to the judge. And see, I didn't have a license, so it's a different thing.

51:18 Adam But you had your permit.

51:19 Caller I had my permit, but I was 15 and a half, so I had to go talk to the judge. And so I tried to bring my sister in, the judge is like, no, you're not getting away with this. That's not gonna work. You gotta bring your mom in. So I thought I'd get away with that, telling my mom about it. Man, I was a sneaky little guy.

51:40 Adam I never lit anything on fire. I mean, there was no fields in North Hollywood, really. There were dumpsters you could light.

51:48 Drew There was some man on fire.

51:49 Adam Yeah, but I was into making those Polish cannons, those things that fired tennis balls.

51:55 Caller Oh yeah, tennis balls. Get two tennis balls.

51:59 Drew Motive mortars.

52:00 Caller Two tennis ball cans, right?

52:02 Adam Tape them together, put a little lighter fluid. Yeah, cologne, alcohol, any kind of rubbing alcohol, anything flammable, anything that we could air out and get a little vapor going and then put that match there and then boom. And then at night, you doused the tennis ball with lighter fluid, light that, fire that, and then watch that bounce into the neighbor's yard and then everyone just scrambled. You ever did that, Drew, that is, the Irish Cannon?

52:23 Drew Yeah, I did that.

52:24 Adam Oh, that's right, you were playing croquet.

52:26 Drew Yeah, I didn't send flaming tennis balls into the neighbor's yard.

52:30 Adam Well, you see, that's the whole thing.

52:32 Caller You ever play devil on the doorstep? That was a good one, too.

52:35 Adam How'd that go?

52:35 Caller Oh, basically, you go up to a doorstep and you take someone's trash can and you put it right near their door, like trash night, you know, the night before they come pick up the trash, and you put it right on their door, like leaning on the door. So then you knock on the door and when they open the door, the trash just falls in their house.

52:55 Adam You know, you can't do as much stuff with those plastic rolling receptacles as you could with the old days.

53:01 Caller This was back in the old days, and before plastic bags. No one had plastic bags. No. Who's that can out every week?

53:08 Adam We used to use Catgut. That's all we had.

53:11 Caller We liked it.

53:12 Adam Once in a while. I remember when the man from GLAAD came around, though.

53:16 Caller The GLAAD man.

53:17 Adam He drove. He had like Dick Tracy's trash can. He flew around in a trash can. Remember the man from GLAAD? All right. Nadia?

53:27 Yeah.

53:28 Adam You're 16. What's up?

53:29 Caller Yeah. Hi, everyone. Okay. Well, I don't know what you would call it, but I used to have an obsession with Eminem, Marshall Mathers and Shady. And it's been for about like the past eight months. And like, my question is that would you guys advise me that this is just like a phase that, you know, he doesn't even know I exist?

53:48 Drew No, I think you're going to marry him. I do.

53:49 Adam Yeah. I count on it.

53:51 Drew Yeah.

53:51 Adam Now he, I would say it would be a phase.

53:54 Drew And it's a phase that many people get to go through.

53:57 Adam Drew, you had that with Bobby Sherman growing up, I believe?

54:00 Caller Yeah, I do.

54:01 Drew It was David Jones.

54:02 Adam Oh, David Jones.

54:03 Caller No, it was Bobby Goldsboro.

54:04 Caller Yeah.

54:06 Adam And if you see Laura Teller, what the hell song was that? He was singing about some chick. It was, he was dying. What the? I got a friend of that Bobby Goldsboro song.

54:16 Caller Oh, wasn't it about the puppy? About a puppy for-

54:19 Adam Yeah, but he was dying or something. People used to write songs when they were dying. You guys need to write some dying songs.

54:26 Caller Dude, I could write dying songs, make your head spin.

54:29 Adam No, but I mean ones where you're actually dying while you're singing the song.

54:32 Caller Oh, okay.

54:33 Adam You're on the train tracks, the train's coming.

54:35 Caller I'll do it.

54:35 Adam You're thinking of Laura.

54:36 Caller I'll call it Adam's song. Oh, wait a minute.

54:39 Caller Yeah.

54:40 Adam Nady, you're fine. Just don't freak out too much.

54:43 Caller Do you think he'll ever be on the show?

54:46 Adam He was on the show, I think it was about a year and a half ago.

54:50 Caller He's too big.

54:52 Adam Then he called, I think he called the show up. It was like nine months or a year ago. We had another guest on the show. I don't know who it was. Maybe it was, does this sound familiar to anybody? I know he called in the show, but I can't remember who it was. I don't know why he called in the show.

55:09 Drew Anderson remembers.

55:10 Caller He didn't?

55:11 Drew No.

55:12 Adam It wasn't Eminem who called in the show? Who was it? Yeah, it was.

55:15 Caller No, it wasn't Eminem. I don't remember who it was, but it wasn't Eminem.

55:18 Adam Yeah, it was. Well, listen, you have no way of proving it. All right, we'll get him on the show for you, Nadya.

55:25 Caller Nadya, I'm just curious. Why are you so obsessed about him? What just draws you to him?

55:31 Caller His talent, actually. I mean, about his looks.

55:33 Caller Oh, OK. So his looks and his talent.

55:36 Caller Yeah, he's very talented. I'm a very big fan.

55:39 Caller In which way do you think he's talented?

55:41 Caller He's like he can freestyle very well. He's like lyrics, you know, like he's a very good lyricist.

55:48 Adam Do you do any of that yourself?

55:49 Caller No, no, not at all.

55:51 Adam Why not, though? I mean, why doesn't it inspire you to get interested in that?

55:55 Caller No, it doesn't. I mean, I'm like in 11th grade. It's the hardest year of my high school. I'm taking three APs. I'm just like the farthest thing from that.

56:02 Caller Right.

56:02 Caller But I'm just a really big fan. I would like love to be on Fanatic, but I think he was already on once.

56:08 Caller All right.

56:08 Adam Well, we'll pull a few strings over there to MTV and see if we can get you on. I'll pick up the MTV hotline.

56:14 Caller All right.

56:15 Adam Nadya, you're fine. This is normal.

56:17 Drew You need a little more sort of emotional gratification from your real life though. I mean, you're in your books full time now, right? Yeah. I mean, you are really working hard and you need to get a little more balance.

56:27 Adam How about the guys at school? Do they like you?

56:30 Caller Yeah, but like they're more of my brothers. I've known them all my life.

56:33 Drew You go to a little private school or something?

56:34 Caller Yeah.

56:35 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, what's wrong with having sex with your brother?

56:38 Drew No, have fun.

56:40 Adam She's 17.

56:41 Caller Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where do you live? Do you live in the valley?

56:45 Drew Yeah, Northridge.

56:46 Caller Yeah. See, then it's okay to have sex with your brother.

56:48 Adam Yeah, it's fine. That's how that area of the valley got populated so quickly.

56:53 Drew Find some outside sort of peer groups that you can relate with and take the pressure off this a little bit.

56:59 Adam And get out of that corner of hell. Would you please? Where are you? Down on like Devonshire and DeSoto or something?

57:06 Caller There's plenty of guys who want to look like Eminem.

57:10 Adam If I got to fly over that area in a plane, I almost kill myself. You understand?

57:14 Drew When your model plane flies over to your place.

57:16 Adam Oh my God. All right, Nadia. Okay, thank you. I used to work out there in one of those dungeons where they... oh, Cinder Block shops making cabinets with a bunch of guys named Tom and Dave. Oh boy, the lunch truck's coming.

57:31 Caller Come back to us.

57:32 Caller The lunch truck's coming, boys.

57:34 Caller It's better now.

57:34 Caller It was a long time ago.

57:35 Caller Let it go.

57:36 Caller Let it go. Jay Leno used to work on cars.

57:39 Adam Oh, we're gonna live it up.

57:40 Drew Adam used to work on Jay Leno's house.

57:41 Adam Yeah, I did work on Jay Leno's house. That's right.

57:44 Caller Really? Is this Joe Rowley? Yeah, I know this. I've seen him in person.

57:46 Adam I tell you, this... I like Jay Leno. One of the things that got me into comedy, or at least made me decide to think I should get into comedy because it was another ten years, is I was doing a remodel on a house that was directly across the street from Jay Leno's house when he used to live up in the hills on like Woodrow Wilson or something here in the Hollywood Hills off of Mulholland. I was working on his neighbor's house and we actually, his neighbors were on friendly terms with them and they used to ask they could park the car in his driveway so we could pull our truck in and blah, blah, blah. It's the kind of thing where I'd show up at three and we'd knock off, sorry, I'd show up about 7 AM, we'd knock off like four in the afternoon. I was looking out the window and I would notice Leno, who wasn't Leno back then, he was just a stand up. This is over 10 years ago, probably about 15, 16 years ago. He'd just walk, I'd say this guy about noon, he'd come out, he'd get the newspaper about noon in his bathrobe, then he'd walk back in his house, and then he'd come back out about two in the afternoon with his portable phone, he'd sit down in his garage and start wrenching on his motorcycles. So I started walking over there after we'd knock off just to go look at his bikes and hand him a wrench and talk to him a little bit. I knew who he was because I just knew new stand ups, but he didn't believe that I knew who he was because he was just a guy who was on Letterman every once in a while and just doing the stand up circuit. But I started talking to him about comedy and I realized, hey, if this is a gig where you can stagger out of your house at noon with an erection, read the paper cover to cover and then go wrench on your bike while you yell at your manager until four in the afternoon and then head in for a nap. Meanwhile, I'm knee deep and stucco and I got pool water flying out of my ass.

59:26 Caller Making 10 bucks an hour.

59:27 Caller Ten bucks!

59:30 Adam Seven bucks an hour. This is what I got to get into. And like that, 11 years later, pow!

59:37 Caller You got that hot rod beamer out there.

59:40 Adam That's right.

59:41 Caller Juggies falling off you.

59:42 Adam Party home in Sherman Oaks and I'm literally a millionaire. Thank you, Jay.

59:48 Caller Art, pick a call.

59:50 Adam You're picking calls tonight.

59:52 Caller I'm not going to talk to Cherry.

59:53 Adam Because her name is Cherry.

59:55 Caller Where's Cherry?

59:55 Adam Well, there would be new ones if we went through some old ones.

59:58 Caller Where's Cherry? Where's Cherry?

1:00:00 Adam The one that's lit up. The one that's lit up.

1:00:02 Caller Oh, this one here.

1:00:03 Drew Cherry?

1:00:04 Everclear Hello?

1:00:05 Caller Hi, Cherry.

1:00:05 Caller Hi, I just want to say hi to Everclear.

1:00:07 Everclear I mean, I absolutely love you guys and my boyfriend does too.

1:00:11 Caller Thank you.

1:00:11 Everclear I think, Art, you're like, I've written like so many term papers about you. Like, you're one of my only like role models in life.

1:00:18 Drew Term papers?

1:00:19 Caller You've written term papers about me? Yeah.

1:00:21 Drew Art, that is freaky.

1:00:23 Adam You know you've arrived.

1:00:26 Caller How's your grades on them?

1:00:28 Everclear Actually, yeah, I've gotten A's.

1:00:30 Drew What were the topics of the term papers?

1:00:32 Everclear Well, they've been like, who's your like biggest influence? And I've been listening to you guys since like World of Noise. Long time.

1:00:39 Caller How old are you?

1:00:40 Adam Just 16.

1:00:41 Everclear Yep.

1:00:41 Caller Wow.

1:00:42 Everclear My brother, you can thank him for that.

1:00:43 Caller Okay, very cool.

1:00:45 Everclear Yeah.

1:00:45 Adam So what's your question today?

1:00:47 Everclear Well, basically, my parents smoke weed like a whole lot, like every day a couple of times. And it like it really gets to me because they've spent a lot of like money like meant for me and my brother for college and stuff on it. And it's like they're really they're secretive about it, too. Like, I don't think they know that we know.

1:01:04 Drew But you got to call them out.

1:01:06 Adam How do you know they're spending your college money on weed?

1:01:09 Everclear Well, because they used to tell us how they had some for us. And some of it's weed, some of it's just stupid stuff we don't need.

1:01:15 Adam I'm like, that must have been a pleasant conversation. Hey, we smoked your tuition. Hand me the Cheetos. Yeah, that's all right. Make it tougher.

1:01:24 Everclear Well, like, they don't know that we know.

1:01:26 Drew You got to call them out. If they don't have any consequences from what they're doing, they ain't never going to stop.

1:01:30 Adam This is both your parents' though.

1:01:32 Everclear Yeah.

1:01:32 Adam You know, the good news is, is you hate pot now, right?

1:01:36 Everclear Yeah. Well, plus, I think, is it possible to be allergic to pot? Like whenever I'm around it or I've tried to be one.

1:01:42 Adam Well, you can if you really hate your parents.

1:01:44 Caller It could be psychosomatic. Yeah.

1:01:46 Everclear Well, before I even found out that they did it, I mean, I got headaches being around it.

1:01:50 Adam Now, are they smoking in the house and doing it sort of freely?

1:01:54 Everclear Like, well, they try to mask it with candles and potpourri.

1:01:56 Drew You have got to call them out on this.

1:01:57 Everclear Our friends always come over and they're like, oh my God, your house smells like it.

1:02:01 Caller You got to call them out.

1:02:02 Caller Does your brother smoke pot?

1:02:04 Everclear Not anymore.

1:02:05 Caller How old is he?

1:02:06 Everclear He's about 18. Yeah, he's out of the house.

1:02:10 Drew I suspect people don't, not anymore, pot if they're really into it.

1:02:13 Everclear Well, he does it occasionally, but he seriously doesn't do it anymore.

1:02:16 Caller He can't afford to.

1:02:17 Everclear He's trying to go to school full time and go to college.

1:02:20 Caller All right.

1:02:22 Adam You know, so you have hippie parents, right?

1:02:24 Everclear But, well, her teachers.

1:02:26 Adam What do they do?

1:02:27 Everclear Their teachers.

1:02:27 Adam Yeah, there you go. Wonderful. Do you go to public school or private?

1:02:31 Caller Please tell me private school.

1:02:32 Everclear Public.

1:02:32 Adam Oh, but you go to private school, right?

1:02:35 Everclear Yeah, I go to public.

1:02:36 Adam And they let you get away with those art, everclear bios once a semester?

1:02:42 Everclear Yeah, I write for the local paper and stuff. I'm a pretty good writer.

1:02:44 Drew She sounds smart.

1:02:46 Caller Tell Adam to shut the hell up. That's what I got to say.

1:02:49 Everclear No, I think, I mean, you can ask all my friends. I, like, think you're just great just because you do so much good stuff more than a lot of.

1:02:56 Caller Well, that's very flattering. We're all flattered by that.

1:02:59 Everclear Yeah, I'm just glad for the reason why I got into music.

1:03:01 Caller But you know what, exactly what Drew is saying, you've got to call him on it and you've got to call him on it in front of other people like your brother. And don't you agree, Drew?

1:03:10 Drew Yeah, just don't let them out. Don't let them slip away.

1:03:14 Everclear They're like, they're like really nice when they're on it. But then when they're off, they're always yelling at me.

1:03:18 Drew Well, guess what? That's also part of the-

1:03:20 Caller Catch them when they're high.

1:03:22 Drew But they're going to start getting irritable and depressed all the time. That's part of the syndrome.

1:03:26 Caller Well, they've probably been smoking for years and years.

1:03:28 Drew Well, but it starts to slip. Eventually, it starts to slip. The bottom falls out.

1:03:32 Caller You're telling me?

1:03:32 Adam Yeah. Anne?

1:03:34 Caller What are you telling?

1:03:35 Adam Anne, you're 22. Yeah. You're talking art about drugs?

1:03:39 Caller Huh?

1:03:39 Adam Please, how dare you?

1:03:41 Caller How dare you?

1:03:42 Adam How dare you tell art about drugs?

1:03:44 Caller What's up, Anne?

1:03:46 Everclear Hey, yeah. I have a question for Art Alexakis. It's about the lyric in the song you just played that says, I get all sticky inside and I close my eyes and I open up wide. I found that interesting. It sounds kind of like a gender-bending sort of fantasy there.

1:04:04 Caller I was wondering if you could explain that.

1:04:06 Caller Man, you know, I hear all sorts of crazy things that people read into our lyrics, but you nailed it! Actually, no, well, I'm just curious. How do you come to that? Show me. Take me on the road. Well, um, I just close my eyes and I get all sticky inside.

1:04:26 Everclear I get all sticky inside and I...

1:04:28 Caller Are you talking about bodily fluids, sir?

1:04:31 Everclear Yeah, I think you can tell where I'm going with that. I was just curious.

1:04:34 Caller You know, the weird thing is, he always sings, Yummy, yummy, yummy.

1:04:37 Caller I got love in my doing on the two of us.

1:04:39 Caller It's really weird.

1:04:40 Caller It freaks me out.

1:04:41 Caller Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, but at least I'm not singing like, like, you know, there's, there's no music.

1:04:49 Caller No, no, no, that's something totally different.

1:04:51 Caller No, it's not. It's sick. When you say, it would be a drum playing.

1:04:56 Caller You're the one that's opening up wide and you're all sticky inside.

1:04:58 Caller Adam, you play drums on that.

1:05:00 Drew Look at this.

1:05:01 It's a whole conflict.

1:05:03 Caller Yeah, thanks, Ann. You just broke the band up.

1:05:06 Drew Been together too long.

1:05:07 No, no, no. I didn't know.

1:05:08 Caller Listen, let me tell you, it has nothing to do with that. I get all sticky inside. The song is very self-effacing. It's just about thinking about, the song basically is just talking about keeping an even keel, a balance when things are bad and when things are good. Growing up the way I did, I'm much more used to things being bad. I'm much more used to when people tell me I suck. When people started telling me and telling us that we were cool about four or five years ago, last thing I wanted to do was to believe them and it kind of puts you on this roller coaster ride and when it all goes wrong again is basically having a sense of humor about yourself and the world around you and being able to keep on an even keel.

1:05:57 Drew Evil keel.

1:05:58 Caller Yeah, evil keel. Evil keneel. Well, things go up and down and well you can and you can just keep, you know, keep kind of the same. And basically that line I get all sticky inside is like just that warm fuzzy sticky feeling when things feel good and sticky inside.

1:06:19 Drew But isn't that one of the interesting important things about poetry and lyrics is that you can evoke all sorts of different images and experiences.

1:06:27 Caller Hey, if it's a sexual, gender-bending thing for you, man, live it up. Let your freak vibe fly.

1:06:33 Adam All right, Ann.

1:06:34 Everclear I, okay.

1:06:35 Adam That's enough, how do you know?

1:06:37 Caller Bye, Ann.

1:06:38 Everclear Okay, bye.

1:06:38 Caller He's pushing the button.

1:06:40 Adam All right. Let's talk to Zoe. That sounds good.

1:06:44 Caller Yeah. I want to name a daughter, Zoe.

1:06:45 Adam That's a good name. Is 28?

1:06:48 Caller Yeah. What's that?

1:06:49 Adam You still have your hymen at 28?

1:06:51 I have the hymen of steel. And so I have this belt. I think that I'm still a virgin, but see, I say that I have the hymen of steel because like a few years ago, I tried to have sex and it just wouldn't break the barrier.

1:07:08 Adam You're 28?

1:07:10 Caller Yeah.

1:07:11 Drew There is such a thing that sometimes the hymen has to be surgically open.

1:07:14 Caller Yeah. Put a little MLA on that.

1:07:16 Caller Yeah.

1:07:17 Drew But more commonly than not, it's vaginismus or spasm of the vagina that causes it unable to be penetrated.

1:07:27 Adam 28 and still with the hymen in there.

1:07:29 Caller Yeah.

1:07:30 Adam We'll see. Send her out a windbreaker, Drew. So that's pretty good.

1:07:34 Caller I was wondering if Adam could break it and I was also wondering if-

1:07:36 Adam If I gotta run and start, yeah. I gotta dork like a can opener. Oh yeah? Yeah. I've used it to open beans like when I'm camping.

1:07:45 Caller I'll be your can of tuna, baby.

1:07:51 Caller I call shenanigans.

1:07:52 Adam You go with the tuna, huh?

1:07:54 Caller I call shenanigans on this one.

1:07:55 Adam Gonna go in with the corn, huh?

1:07:56 Caller You go with the tuna.

1:07:58 Caller You called me a little nutty, so.

1:08:00 Adam Yeah. I've now upgraded you to medium nutty.

1:08:04 Drew I remember this voice.

1:08:05 Adam Yeah, I do. Zoe, why is it that you're a virgin at the ripe old age of 28?

1:08:11 Caller I'm very picky, but I mean, I tried to lose it like when I was 20, I think four. I was sick of being a virgin. And so I consider myself a virgin still, but I have a friend who says since I've had it in me that I'm not.

1:08:29 Caller That would be my call.

1:08:30 Drew Me too.

1:08:31 Caller And I'm still a virgin?

1:08:32 Caller No, no, no.

1:08:33 Adam You had a penis in you.

1:08:34 Drew That's it.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah, because listen, if you had a hymen like a truck inner tube, and a guy couldn't get through it, and you were with ten guys, you wouldn't be a virgin. You'd be a trampoline. You'd be a penis trampoline.

1:08:53 Drew You know, penises on trampolines, new bit for the mansion.

1:08:55 Caller Oh, God, write it down.

1:08:57 Adam Zoe?

1:08:58 Caller Yeah.

1:08:59 Adam So why are you nutty? What's up with you?

1:09:03 Caller God, you know, I just don't know. When when I called last time, what was your question last time? I called to say that I'm a fag hag and I'm in love with gay men. And then, basically I just want to get on the radio.

1:09:19 Caller Are you a drama student? Yes, you do. You go to acting workshops, don't you?

1:09:25 Caller Yeah, well, yeah.

1:09:26 Caller You have, haven't you?

1:09:27 Caller I do theater. I'm a theater major.

1:09:30 Caller Yeah, but I could tell that one.

1:09:31 Adam That's trouble.

1:09:33 Caller You're in trouble.

1:09:34 Adam Daddy didn't pay enough attention growing up. Now we all have to suffer.

1:09:38 Caller Yeah.

1:09:38 Adam Is that it? Exactly. That's how it is.

1:09:41 Caller Hey, Zoe, can I give you my opinion? This is Art. Since you want to be on the radio so bad, actually, I don't even have to ask you. Do I have to ask her to give my opinion? No. No, I can just go. Okay, basically, have you ever-

1:09:55 Caller Ever, Claire Guy?

1:09:56 Caller Yeah, yeah, that's me. Have you ever performed oral sex on a man?

1:09:59 Caller Yes.

1:09:59 Caller You're not a virgin.

1:10:01 Caller Because I have performed on a man?

1:10:03 Caller You've had sex. If you've had sex, that's my, this is my opinion.

1:10:07 Adam I'm with you on that.

1:10:09 Caller When you put another person's sexual organ on-

1:10:12 Drew Adam, Adam actually had a very, a medium stroke of genius on this one.

1:10:15 Caller He thinks-

1:10:16 Drew He thinks there ought to be planes. Medium. That there ought to be various planes that once broken, we can even have degrees of virginity or something, but he thinks there are the planes.

1:10:25 Adam The plane, there is a plane that is, you know, between your lips that once broken by a penis.

1:10:30 Caller It's like the football and the touchdown.

1:10:33 Drew The end zone, the end zone.

1:10:35 Adam Speaking of the end zone, you ain't no virgin with that either. This is the other plane, the thumb and forefinger plane. That's its own. There's many planes. Yes, the end zone we talked about. Don't even get me going on the ears. That's a whole...

1:10:50 Drew Those planes?

1:10:51 Caller No.

1:10:51 Adam The point is once those planes are being broken, that's no longer what we call a virgin. Just because technically you own a hymen does not mean you're still a virgin.

1:11:03 Caller I met a girl once who was 16, 17 years old, had never had vaginal sex, but she had been giving blowjobs from the time she was 12. Supposedly, I didn't know from experience, but supposedly she gave a blowjob like a porn star and she had anal sex, but she considered herself a virgin.

1:11:23 Adam Right.

1:11:23 Drew We had that a lot on this show. People were preserving their virginity, but go ahead and have anal sex. People lost track of the fact that virginity was meant to mean chastity, not some technicality at all.

1:11:34 Caller It's a technical game.

1:11:35 Drew Yeah, it's not a technicality, it's chastity.

1:11:37 Adam Hey, man, hey, what do you want to recount? I'm sure their husband's going to be very excited to hear that news. It's like, I'm a virgin. Oh, that's great. I've been anally raped. More than I can count. Put your penis in there, it's going to be like trying to get that last bit of yogurt out of the peanut butter, out of the yogurt container.

1:11:57 Caller Come and get it, Bill.

1:11:59 Adam The triangle. We're basically going to be playing the triangle.

1:12:02 Caller Like waving a wand in a cave.

1:12:05 Adam That's right. You're conducting bats. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Nicky, right? Art's picking the calls tonight. Nicky's the one with the arrow.

1:12:17 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:12:19 Adam Maybe you need to get closer to that screen, Art.

1:12:21 Caller We need to talk about that.

1:12:22 Adam All right. It wants to know if it's normal for an uncircumcised penis to smell really, really bad after this.

1:12:29 Caller Hello.

1:13:00 Adam Where are we going, guys? Yeah, I'm not used to that music. It caught me off guard. Alright. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Greg and Craig are both here from Everclear. Art is, what is he, in the little boy's room?

1:13:15 Drew He's out listening to phone messages.

1:13:17 Adam I see. Art is a big star. He'll roll in here soon. He picked the next call, but now he's not around to enjoy it. Shall we, well, let's talk to Nicky.

1:13:26 Caller Yeah, let's move on.

1:13:28 Adam Nicky?

1:13:29 Everclear Yeah?

1:13:30 Adam Sixteen? You, does your boyfriend have an uncircumcised penis?

1:13:34 Caller Well, no, like I was down at my friend's house and there's this really cute guy there. And so he's like, you want to give me head?

1:13:42 Everclear I was like, okay, sure. And so-

1:13:45 Drew That's how it's done these days.

1:13:46 Caller That's how it goes, right?

1:13:46 Drew That's how it goes, right?

1:13:47 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:13:48 Drew You want to give me head?

1:13:49 Adam Well, you know, to be fair to him, most the guys who are talked about on the show just start pushing the girls' head down toward their groin. They don't even ask or present it that way. But that's nice.

1:14:00 Caller It wasn't like that when I was a kid.

1:14:02 Adam It really wasn't.

1:14:03 Caller The guys have got it easier now.

1:14:04 Adam Yeah, my line was, may I please buy some head? There was none of this. You want to give me head? I would like to purchase some head, ma'am. Would that be acceptable?

1:14:14 Drew You said that to me. Wouldn't you just expect to go right cross?

1:14:18 Adam Yeah. Hey, how about giving me some head? Yeah, even if you had been dating the chick for a year, you'd expect to get swatted for that. This is in the 50s when we were in high school. Pulled up in a Stutz bear cat, wearing my raccoon coat. All right, so anyway, you gave him a BJ?

1:14:35 Caller Okay, no. So like we went in the other room and it was like dark and like I couldn't see that. It was like unsurcrimphized, you know? And so like I went down there, you have to breathe out of your nose and you give head.

1:14:44 Adam Oh, who are you talking to? I'm about to sprout gills in the side of my neck, you know, from all the BJs I give my deviated septum.

1:14:55 Caller Sure. Okay. And so like I started breathing and it smelled so bad. And I was like, I have to stop. I'm sorry. Dick smells.

1:15:02 Drew Oh, nice. Wow.

1:15:04 Adam Touche.

1:15:06 Caller I don't know. Does that mean like he has like a disease or something?

1:15:09 Drew No, doesn't necessarily. And some guys, if they don't are meticulous with the hygiene, they can get a little bacterial growth down there. And some guys just got the funk.

1:15:19 Adam He could just have the funk, but the uncircumcised penis probably added to the funk that he just got.

1:15:26 Caller So it doesn't, it doesn't have to, though.

1:15:29 Drew It doesn't mean anything.

1:15:30 Adam He can work on it a little bit, but that's all right, Nick. You learn a very valuable lesson about blowing strangers. That should be made to an after school session.

1:15:38 Caller Is this a stranger, not a special friend?

1:15:40 Caller No, I just went down to my friend's house and he was there and I thought he was really cute.

1:15:43 Caller So you gave him a blow job?

1:15:44 Everclear I thought he was really cute too.

1:15:45 Caller And so I was like, okay, sure.

1:15:48 Caller All right.

1:15:49 Caller He just asked her out, you know, just like.

1:15:51 Caller And you were 16?

1:15:52 Everclear Uh-huh.

1:15:53 Caller Good. I got eight years for this.

1:15:56 Adam Slow down. All right.

1:15:58 Everclear All right, thanks.

1:15:59 Adam All right.

1:16:00 Caller Bye.

1:16:00 Adam All right. I want we hear a song from Everclear. Let Art and Drew commiserate about their young daughters and what life is going to be like for them in North America when they start hitting puberty. Oh, imagine on that one of yours, too, Drew.

1:16:17 Caller That's when I'm moving?

1:16:18 Adam Yeah, you got to move. Where are you going, though? It's all over now.

1:16:21 Drew South Africa.

1:16:22 Adam Oh, really? Go there. Just get some land. Put a big fence around it. Let her graze. Not let her. Set her free. You know what I mean? Homeschooling.

1:16:34 Caller I can't wait till you become a parent.

1:16:36 Adam Oh, my God.

1:16:36 Caller It's going to happen someday because you're going to get stupid and you're going to get some girl pregnant.

1:16:42 Adam Yeah.

1:16:42 Caller And get married or probably. Yeah.

1:16:44 Adam Listen, I'll tell you.

1:16:45 Caller You know what?

1:16:46 Adam I won't break out.

1:16:47 Caller You're not going to be funny anymore.

1:16:50 Drew Everything will be.

1:16:51 Caller You're not going to lose that edge. You're going to gain about 40 pounds. It's going to go all to your ass.

1:16:57 Adam That's right. That's my life.

1:16:58 Caller That's it, dude.

1:17:00 Adam Thank you. All right. I got an eye on in that bag.

1:17:02 Drew I got gold down in that damn bag.

1:17:04 Adam What is in there? We've been eating.

1:17:06 Drew I think we're around in there.

1:17:07 Adam Are you asking me now what's moving? Oh, my God. There's some.

1:17:12 Caller You just ate that whole bag of nuts.

1:17:13 Adam There's a bug in there. Oh, wait a minute. There's more than one. Oh, come on, buddy. Don't spit on the floor. Holy Christ. I mean, now on top of the fat ass, I'm going to have moss growing in my belly.

1:17:31 Caller In your belly, if you're lucky.

1:17:33 Adam Jesus Christ. That ain't right.

1:17:34 Caller You can't get popcorn.

1:17:35 Adam Oh, all right, Drew. Hold on. No, don't throw this away.

1:17:39 Caller Bag it.

1:17:40 Adam That's exhibit A. I'll get some money out of this goddamn Westwood One if it's the last thing I do. Drew's got a sack of moss he's been feeding me for the last day.

1:17:48 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:17:48 Caller Those aren't little bugs. Those are big bugs.

1:17:50 Drew I just ate them.

1:17:51 Adam Yeah.

1:17:51 Drew What are you talking about? I ate those damn things.

1:17:53 Caller Man, that looks like moth rock. Yeah.

1:17:55 Adam I'm going to have one more nut just to be... How do you know you've eaten worse, Drew?

1:18:01 Drew Look at this. Come look at this.

1:18:03 Adam Drew bought a sack of moss from the vending machine.

1:18:06 Caller We need help here.

1:18:08 Adam And don't go for that crap.

1:18:10 Drew All right.

1:18:11 Caller All right.

1:18:11 Adam Hey, Drew, you want to go vomit or...

1:18:13 Drew Yeah, I do.

1:18:14 Adam Okay, go vomit. Hey, Anderson, mic him up. This is good.

1:18:18 Caller This is good radio.

1:18:24 Adam Get it up, Drew. Get it up.

1:18:25 Caller All right.

1:18:26 Adam Listen, maybe I shouldn't... Maybe should I stop eating? You know you got a problem when you're still looking at those peanuts going, listen, I don't see any moths on those.

1:18:33 Caller You know what? All right. Because we're friends.

1:18:36 Adam Oh, thank you.

1:18:36 Caller I have a pretzel.

1:18:37 Adam Art's got Weebles in his pretzels.

1:18:39 Caller I'm going to eat those now. All right.

1:18:42 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Not a break. We're actually going to hear a song from Everclear. Drew, Anne, call the Orkin guy in. Have the vending machines. Hey, Drew, why don't you go light one of those foggers off in the vending machine?

1:19:00 Drew I'm going to vomit.

1:19:01 Adam Go vomit. Go vomit.

1:19:03 Drew On the vending machine.

1:19:04 Adam Go vomit on the vending machine. Show your defiance. Rise up against the man by vomiting on the vending machine. All right. We're going to hear something from Everclear. Anderson, where are you? In there?

1:19:15 Caller What in there? What critic? Yeah, I don't want to look at it.

1:19:18 Adam This one is called the AM radio. I want to take a look. J Los Angeles.

1:19:23 Portions of the day's programming are reproduced by means of electrical transcriptions or tape recordings.

1:23:08 Adam You are 10Q. Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. There's Dr. Drew over there, a little AM radio from Everclear. Drew, you all right there? Drew's not feeling too good.

1:23:24 Drew You're looking a little green. Who do I take this up with?

1:23:27 Adam He's going to crap moth right when he gets home. You don't have moths in your house?

1:23:33 Drew Not that kind.

1:23:35 Adam Well, you have yummy edibles.

1:23:36 Drew No, we have moth moths.

1:23:38 Adam You have moths that fly around.

1:23:39 Drew Butterfly moths.

1:23:39 Adam You don't have those food moths?

1:23:41 Caller No.

1:23:41 Adam I swear to Christ, I have those food moths in my house and I cannot get rid of them and I'm actually angry at them.

1:23:46 Caller That healthy?

1:23:47 Drew I feel your pain.

1:23:48 Adam Yeah, well, you probably ate some of the present.

1:23:50 Caller You'll feel it much later.

1:23:51 Adam Yeah, you're fine, Drew.

1:23:53 Caller Hey, in all fairness to the company though, it said eat by August 1st on it.

1:23:57 Adam Yeah.

1:23:57 Caller It's November 29th.

1:23:58 Caller That's before the larvae hatched into moths.

1:23:59 Drew Guess what? That's the point. We're pissed off at the vending people.

1:24:04 Adam Yeah. Shouldn't you expect that what comes out of the vending machine is something you can eat that day?

1:24:08 Drew Current, enough to date.

1:24:09 Adam You don't have to build a time machine and go back six months to eat it?

1:24:13 Caller No, it's not like if you're going to buy something out of the snack box, it's not like you're going to sit there and look at the dates and the ingredients.

1:24:21 Adam Right. You trust it. Yeah. All right.

1:24:23 Drew We've been asking, begging for popcorn. Just popcorn.

1:24:26 Adam They used to have popcorn in there.

1:24:27 Caller They used to have popcorn. Those were the days.

1:24:30 Drew Now, we get moth-infested nuts and raisins.

1:24:35 Caller Well, it sounds like something to call it.

1:24:37 Adam Yeah. To be fair, there's a big sticker on the side of the machine that says, Now with moth-infested nuts. It's probably something you should have heated, Drew.

1:24:46 Caller Can we do this one? Are we in a call now?

1:24:48 Drew No.

1:24:49 Caller We're out of this. Can we do this one now?

1:24:50 Drew We're going to commercial now.

1:24:52 Adam Let's just say real hi to Joseph. Real hi. I'm real fast. We'll say hi.

1:24:56 Caller Hey, Joseph.

1:24:57 Caller Hey, how's it going, guys?

1:24:58 Caller What are you talking about?

1:25:00 Caller I heard on the radio that...

1:25:01 Caller On what radio station?

1:25:04 Caller Well, here in Albuquerque.

1:25:05 Drew That what?

1:25:07 Caller The beginning of Wonderful sounds exactly like one of Savage Garden's songs, and they actually played the beginning of both, one after the other, and I must say, they sounded almost exactly the same, except...

1:25:18 Caller Can I ask you a question? I know this sounds stupid. I've seen the name, but I have no idea who they are. Who's Savage Garden?

1:25:26 Caller They're an Australian.

1:25:27 Adam They are a hot, hot couple of gay guys who sing about loving women, ironically.

1:25:33 Caller Really?

1:25:34 Adam Yeah.

1:25:35 Caller I would have no idea. No, well, to be honest with you, I never heard that song, so...

1:25:40 Caller Oh, okay. I was just curious about it.

1:25:42 Caller No.

1:25:43 Adam Do we have some Savage Garden? Anderson, go out to your car and get your Savage Garden. Bring it in here.

1:25:49 Caller Maybe Anderson has the Savage Garden retrospective out there or something.

1:25:53 Adam Pass the Savage Garden back in the garden.

1:25:56 Caller When did the Savage Garden record come out?

1:25:58 Caller Oh, I don't know. I'm not even sure.

1:26:01 Caller I don't even remember what the song is. So basically, they are alluding to the fact that we're ripping off Savage Garden?

1:26:12 Caller Well, I guess.

1:26:13 Caller Is it possible that maybe Savage, since we sell, we're really big in Australia, we sell more records per capita there than we do here? Really? Maybe it's possible that...

1:26:25 Adam Well, listen, let me... We got to go to break, but let me just say this.

1:26:28 Caller I'm just curious. I mean, I don't know.

1:26:30 Adam Artistically, these things are going to happen. I tell jokes all the time that I hear other places, and I think that I made them up, and whoever it is said it half the time thinks they made it up, and it's bound to happen. I mean, the millions and millions of songs that are cranked out, if one portion of one song sounds vaguely like another portion of another song, does that mean there's foul play at work?

1:26:54 Caller No, I'm intrigued. I'd like to hear it, and I'd like to hear when it came out, because there's been other songs that have come out by bands in this country.

1:27:03 Adam Well, Art wrote that song in high school, which is what people know. No.

1:27:06 Caller I wrote it when most of, when this guy was probably in high school last year.

1:27:10 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. If anyone has a Savage Garden CD around here, they can bring it in. Drew, you sure you don't want to go vomit? I do want to go vomit. Okay, go vomit. We'll be back. Hey, Loveline, everybody, I'm Adam Carolla, and that is the moth eating Dr. Drew. You got a problem with moths at your house, you bring Drew over. Forget about the moth balls, the poisons, the kids can get into that. He'll eat them right up. Send the moth doctor over. He'll suck that closet dry. We all know the heartache of pulling out a beautiful wool sweater that we have worn since last winter, only to see that there's holes been eaten in it for moths. Those days are gone. Dr. Drew will come to your home and rid it of moths by eating every last one of them. And the eggs and larvae.

1:28:34 Drew And the webs.

1:28:35 Adam And the weird webby things that I have at my house. Bad, bad times. Alright.

1:28:42 Drew Let's go.

1:28:43 Caller You pick it, Greg. Come on, Greg.

1:28:45 Caller Number three.

1:28:47 Adam We're going to talk to Michael. Michael is eighteen.

1:28:51 Caller What's up?

1:28:55 Caller About eight years ago, I think I was around ten. I can't really remember. I had very sexual relations with my younger sister.

1:29:10 Adam Is this your biological sister?

1:29:12 Caller Yeah.

1:29:13 Caller How old were you?

1:29:15 Caller I think I was around ten years old.

1:29:16 Caller How old was she?

1:29:19 Caller She might have been around six.

1:29:22 Drew Which one of you? Yeah, perfectly normal.

1:29:23 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:29:25 Drew Which one of you had been sexually abused prior to that?

1:29:28 Caller Neither.

1:29:29 Drew No, come on.

1:29:29 Adam Really?

1:29:30 Caller Completely neither.

1:29:31 Adam And how long did this go on?

1:29:36 Caller Not too long, but I think it happened on quite a couple of occasions.

1:29:41 Adam Yeah? I mean like over ten?

1:29:44 Caller No. Can't know. It's gotta be under.

1:29:47 Drew And you actually had intercourse?

1:29:51 Caller Yeah, I think so.

1:29:52 Drew How did you learn what intercourse was?

1:29:54 Adam You can figure it out in ten.

1:29:57 Caller I don't know. I definitely wasn't educated.

1:30:00 Adam All right. Are your parents drug abusers or alcoholics? Is the family broken up?

1:30:06 Caller Yeah, but this was before that all happened.

1:30:09 Drew All right. Well, something was going on before.

1:30:12 Adam Well, let's just take it from here. So now your sister is what, 15?

1:30:18 Caller Now she's 14 going on 15.

1:30:20 Adam Right. How's she doing with her life?

1:30:25 Caller She's good. She's... I don't know. I worry about her. She chases boys, but nothing too bad.

1:30:33 Adam How are you doing with your life?

1:30:36 Caller I'm all right.

1:30:37 Adam Have you ever spoken to her about this?

1:30:39 Caller No, not since. I mean, it happened a long time ago.

1:30:44 Drew Do you have relationships? Do you have girlfriends?

1:30:46 Caller No. No, I don't know how to deal with girls at all.

1:30:52 Drew Are you into girls?

1:30:53 Caller Oh, totally.

1:30:55 Adam Really?

1:30:55 Caller Very much so.

1:30:56 Adam But you're a little freaked out?

1:30:58 Caller Yeah. I don't know how to approach.

1:31:02 Adam He's 18. All right. Hey, Michael?

1:31:05 Caller Yeah.

1:31:05 Adam What do you guys think? Do you think he should talk to his sister? Or is that too freaky for her and freaky for him? And I mean, obviously, they both know what went on.

1:31:14 Caller Some sort of joint counseling is in there.

1:31:16 Caller Yeah. I don't even know if it needs to go there. Have you been in any counseling for this, Michael? No.

1:31:22 Drew You should.

1:31:23 Caller Man, that's your first.

1:31:24 Drew Yeah. Yeah. You should be.

1:31:25 Caller Get into it. Talk to somebody about it. See if you need to confront your sister about it. Maybe you just need to confront everything in you. Maybe there was something that happened before, which seems likely to drew into myself that there was some sort of abuse.

1:31:38 Drew There had to have been.

1:31:39 Caller Because, man, how else would you know to do it? It's not an instinctive thing that you know at 10 years old.

1:31:45 Adam Yeah.

1:31:45 Caller You know, they show that crap in the movies. It doesn't work like that.

1:31:49 Drew Yeah, you don't have the biological mechanisms in place to cause you to move in that direction.

1:31:54 Adam Yeah. You can figure that out. I knew that when I was that age.

1:31:57 Caller I was so young that my brother had to explain that.

1:31:59 Adam I was smoking. I was driving.

1:32:01 Drew Did your brother do anything weird to you?

1:32:02 Caller Oh, no. No. He knew about it. He caught me with her one time. And I was totally confused that he had to explain to me that she couldn't have a baby. But I knew that it had sex.

1:32:15 Adam Let me tell you something, Michael. If I caught my younger brother banging my sister, he would have been my slave. Well into my 40s. I'd be calling him now at 36. Bob, come over to the house. Empty the garbage. Clean out the sinks. Get the moss out of the goddamn cereal. Get the moss out of my ass, would you? Thank you.

1:32:36 Caller He's older and bigger than me. I can't work him at all.

1:32:39 Drew Yeah, but he'd be working you, dude. Someone had done something to you to cause you to move in that direction. That's it for sure.

1:32:48 Adam Hey Michael, you gotta talk to someone about this. Don't freak yourself out. You were 10. You were a kid. I know you're the male and she was younger and all that kind of stuff. You feel like a bad guy, but you know what? It's done. Now let's work on healing it. Yeah.

1:33:03 Caller I mean you're 18 years old. It seems like this huge thing to you. It's something that if you deal with now, you can just put it behind you.

1:33:12 Adam All right. Let's move on. Have a fruitful life, perhaps date your aunt or your mom, and really just move on with things.

1:33:19 Drew What song was it written about you?

1:33:20 Adam The Bobby Goldsboro song was Honey by the way. And honey, I love you.

1:33:27 Caller I had the 45, dude.

1:33:28 Adam Oh, did you? Yeah, you rock, aren't you? We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

1:33:34 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:33:37 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:33:40 Caller Presenting Loveline this evening, it's car toys.

1:33:44 Caller And mud puddles. Right here on 94.7 and RK.

1:33:48 Caller The New Rock Alternative.

1:33:49 Adam Holy moly. All right. That's it with Loveline. We're really sinking into some sort of dark, dark abyss here with the band and Drew and we're really getting a lot of morbid discussion here. I know I'm going to have more bad dreams about my family beating me with my scrotum now.

1:34:20 Caller But we're having a good time.

1:34:22 Adam We always have a good time with Everclear. All right, everyone, go out and get the new CD. I know you got the volume one. This is volume two, Songs for American Movie. Good time for bad attitude. Our good, good friends, Everclear. Thanks for coming out here, guys.

1:34:37 Caller Thanks for having us.

1:34:38 Adam We always appreciate it. Until next time, this is Adam Crawford. Dr. Drew is saying mahalo.

1:34:43 Caller I'll be your can of tuna, baby.

1:34:46 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2000