Episode 1000754887164

0:54 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:57 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:03 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:08 Voiceover Loveline.

1:09 Voiceover Yes, indeed, it is Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla will be here momentarily. Engineer Anderson, you look like Bono there. He's sitting here under a hood. He's sick. He's got a fever. I know, I heard, I heard. He's gonna get on the mic here. And I'll be in the college chat room at drdrew.com, if people have any trouble getting here on the phone line. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. Again, if you have trouble getting through on that line, you can always come through at drdrew.com, the college chat room. I'll be watching the screen. I won't be chatting because I'll be doing the show. But if you have questions, you can certainly put them up there and I'll keep an eye out for them. Eve Six is our guest tomorrow night. No guest tonight. Eve Six apparently will be debuting their new CD tomorrow on the show. Later on, Stroke Nine. There's a Best of Loveline coming up. That's good. That means we get a night off. Not bad. But without Adam here, I'll say no more and get right to the phone lines. This is Candy. Candy's 20. What's going on, Candy?

2:02 Me and my fiancee, we'll see. When I was conceived, my mom was on the pill. And we want to know if I'll be affected the same way.

2:13 Drew You mean if the pill won't work with you?

2:15 Right.

2:16 Drew Well, I bet your mom just didn't use the pill properly. You know what I mean? She either took a medication with it, or she wasn't exactly 100% on her taking it at the same time every day, that sort of thing.

2:29 Well, because we asked her about it, and she said that she was consistently with it for three years before, but then it just popped up.

2:37 Drew Yeah, it happens. There's such a thing. But again, if you really examine these things, it usually is a function of something else coming to bear, like an antibiotic or something you don't really think about. Those are very, very effective, and I don't know of any reason that there would be a familial predilection for it not working. I think you can expect it to work if you take it properly. Okay? All right. You scare me like that. I just think, jeez. This now is Josh, 16. Josh.

3:02 Yeah.

3:03 Drew Hey, what's going on?

3:04 Yeah, about three months ago, I was in a car crash with my friends, and I was in the middle seat in the back, and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. And I hit my crotch on a hard seat, and I got whiplash and stuff, and ever since then, I can't get a boner.

3:25 Drew You hit your nuts? That's why they're just showing us the anatomic term, guys. You hit your testicles?

3:31 Yeah. You did? They swelled up, and now I can't even get a boner.

3:35 Drew How long ago did this happen?

3:37 Three and a half months ago.

3:38 Drew Did you have a doctor look at this?

3:40 Yeah.

3:40 Drew And what did they say?

3:41 They said it'll go away, not to worry about it.

3:45 Drew Did you see a urologist?

3:48 No, I just seen a regular doctor.

3:50 Drew I would worry about it. I'll tell you what, they were having a functional problem. They swelled up. You can get injuries that are not always that apparent. I tell you what, when I have people get those injuries with a direct hit on the testy where they swell, I usually have them get an ultrasound to make sure there's not been some problem with the blood supply, make sure they haven't fractured or really been significantly injured in some way. You really can't tell just by looking at them, I'm afraid to say. Paige, 22, Paige.

4:16 Hey, what's up, Dr. Drew?

4:18 Drew Not much. I don't know where my partner is.

4:21 Yeah, I do too. I had some suggestions for him.

4:24 Drew Like what?

4:25 Well, you know how he always does that thing where he's like, you know, wouldn't it be great if they brought back this and that on TV? I have some suggestions.

4:33 Drew Yeah, I'm ready. I'll write them down for you.

4:36 I wanted to run it by him because...

4:37 Drew Come on. I come up with these with him, believe it or not, those particular things.

4:40 I don't believe it.

4:41 Drew No, it's just the quicksand, all that kind of stuff. I watch a lot of TV in the 60s.

4:46 The quicksand was yours?

4:49 Drew I don't remember if that one was mine, but stuff like that. I came up with a few of them. So go ahead. What's yours?

4:53 All right. I got three of them.

4:55 Drew All right.

4:55 I'll give you my worst two first, and I'll finish up with the grand finale. First one is the bad haircut, you know? Like one of the kids, like Greg Brady.

5:04 Drew Brady Bunch. Bad haircut. All right. Got it. Bad haircut.

5:07 Bad haircut.

5:08 Drew Yeah. Hair is always a big theme in the 70s.

5:11 Oh, definitely. Yeah.

5:11 Drew All right.

5:11 A lot to go wrong with.

5:13 Drew Yeah. Exactly.

5:14 The second one is the skiing accident.

5:16 Drew Skiing accident?

5:17 Yeah.

5:18 Drew Right, right. No, no, no. The person with the huge cast, the leg up in the lodge. Right, right, right.

5:23 All right. Like the lodge bunnies.

5:25 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

5:26 All right.

5:26 Good one.

5:28 My grand finale is the two dates during one night.

5:31 Drew Where they're running back to the Flintstones.

5:33 Right.

5:33 Drew Where he's got a bowl and could take his wife out to a fancy restaurant.

5:37 Well, I was thinking like one guy having two different dates with two different girls. But yeah, the Flintstone reference works too.

5:44 All right. All right.

5:45 Drew See? I come up with these things too. All right. Is that what you called about?

5:48 No.

5:48 Drew I didn't think so.

5:49 No.

5:50 I had a kind of a trivial question. I had heard that if you put cocaine on your penis...

5:57 Drew All right. Sit down. Hang on a second. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

6:00 Adam I can't sit here.

6:01 Drew Yeah, you can. You look like you came off of a mafia hit or something. Where have you been?

6:05 Adam I was doing a little PI.

6:08 Drew How was that?

6:08 Adam Over at the Playboy Mansion, you know, they ran a little long. I got apologized.

6:12 Drew Did it rain or anything? They were concerned about that last time.

6:14 Adam No. It was beautiful. Everything was great. Fantabulous.

6:18 Drew All right.

6:18 Adam All right.

6:18 Drew So here you are.

6:20 I can't stand that show.

6:21 Drew We like that show.

6:23 Really?

6:23 Drew Yeah. The Playboy thing for me was like not good.

6:27 Adam They were working some of the kinks out, but it was good tonight.

6:30 Drew For me, it was show one episode.

6:32 Does that guy ever really seriously make anybody laugh or are there like a little electronic stimuli under their seats?

6:37 Drew No, they do.

6:38 Adam Well, it is true. There is electronic stimuli under the seat.

6:41 Drew There's that at the Man Show too, though. Be fair.

6:43 Adam Every Hollywood taping, there's electronic stimuli under the seat. But Bill's a funny guy. All right.

6:51 Drew We like TV where people just sit down and talk. And then the PI is that. You know my favorite TV show to do anyway is The View.

6:59 Adam God bless you, Drew.

7:00 Drew Oh, I too.

7:00 Adam You're growing a vagina as we speak.

7:02 Drew I am. Well, as we talked about last night, if I get old enough, it'll finally happen.

7:05 Adam That's right. What's Page one?

7:08 Drew Page had a couple of 60s, 70s TV references for you. Things that should be brought back into the modern television lexicon. The bad haircut. It ruins you, you know what I mean? The Greg Brady gets a... Hair was such a thing. There was such energy about hair that...

7:24 Adam Oh, you mean an episode based on getting a bad haircut. All right.

7:31 Drew The giant full leg cast up in a skiing lodge. Right. Okay? That's a good one.

7:37 Adam Yeah.

7:38 Drew Sitting, drinking coffee. And it's a positive thing. It's a good thing. Because you're going to meet somebody that way.

7:43 Adam The giant cast.

7:44 Drew Yeah, the big cast.

7:44 Adam Yeah, only half in skiing. And it's before the big dance or the big game.

7:49 Exactly.

7:50 Drew And then two dates in one night. With the paradigm being Fred Flintstone having to go bowling and take Wilma out to a fancy restaurant.

8:01 Adam Right, right. It's trying to get two things done simultaneously.

8:04 Drew And running back and forth. And neither could, important that neither know about the other.

8:08 Adam Yeah, but not only same date, same night, same restaurant. You've got to run back and forth from the tables. Like, excuse me, I got to make a phone call. Then you run over and sit down. And the maitre d comes by and gives you a weird look because you're just at the other table. And you order and then you say you have to use the bathroom. And then you run back. Yes, yes, it has to be the same restaurant.

8:29 Drew Well, the important thing is that two independent things going on that mustn't know about each other.

8:35 Adam Right, eventually they find out.

8:37 We just couldn't be open with one another.

8:38 Adam Very good, Page.

8:40 All right, my question. I had heard that if you put cocaine on the tip of your penis, you can have some great sex and, you know, if you do it just right, you're...

8:52 Drew Do you think Page is having much sex?

8:53 Adam Put it on. I'll snort it with my penis. I'll just draw a big long line. I'll put my penis down and...

9:00 Drew Then later pick up a few peanuts, toss them up in your mouth.

9:03 Adam That's right. Thank you. If you're sorting with your penis... I'll give myself a bath with my penis. I'll wash the car later with my penis. Just put it in the bucket. All right. Page, I have heard it numbs it, and if it numbs it, then maybe you don't have an orgasm as quickly, but it seems like a kind of expensive way to go.

9:21 Drew I have heard of this. I've never actually spoken to somebody who's done it.

9:25 Adam But Coke originally was produced as a numbing agent, a topical numbing agent.

9:31 Drew But numbing your penis doesn't necessarily prevent it from unloading.

9:34 Adam You'd be better off just doing the blow, and that way you probably wouldn't be able to have an orgasm in a couple of hours.

9:40 Drew I wouldn't say you'd be better off, but that would probably be a more effective way of suppressing an orgasm, I agree with you.

9:45 Adam Yes, cheaper.

9:46 Drew All right. Thanks, Paige. Hey, no problem.

9:48 Adam Take care, guys. Drew, you ready to go for the switch here?

9:52 Drew No, I like this.

9:52 Adam I don't feel funny in your chair.

9:55 Drew Too bad.

9:55 Adam It's fine.

9:56 Drew Come on. Let me sit here. This is very comfortable for me.

9:59 Adam All right.

10:00 Drew John, 19.

10:01 Yes.

10:01 Drew Yeah. John, what's going on?

10:03 When I have intercourse, my girlfriend screamed and I don't know why.

10:12 Adam Is she dry?

10:15 A little bit.

10:15 Adam Is she screaming in pain? Do you have an exceptionally wide penis?

10:23 Yeah.

10:23 Adam You do?

10:24 Yeah.

10:24 Adam All right. Well, there you go. Use some lubrication. Take it nice and slow.

10:29 Drew What is it you're asking?

10:31 Adam He's just blowing his horn. Hang up on him, Drew.

10:34 Drew Okay.

10:35 Adam He's just blowing his horn. He has extremely wide penis and he does damage to his girlfriend's parts when he has intercourse.

10:41 Drew Also, he'd understand why a woman would make noise during sex.

10:44 Adam Well, listen, here's the thing about the ladies. You got to juice them up a little bit before you get to business. I don't mean with the booze. I mean, you got to get the juices flowing with the foreplay. You know, you do that, get them going, put a little lube on, and then you go to town.

10:59 Drew Janie, 16. Yeah.

11:01 Hey.

11:02 Adam What's up?

11:03 Not much. I lost my virginity earlier today, and the condom fell off.

11:10 Drew Oh boy.

11:11 And the guy like, but see, I was wondering because it was two days after my menstrual cycle.

11:16 Drew Doesn't matter. Here's what you must do. You must get the morning after pill. Unless you are hell bent on getting pregnant, get that morning after pill. Okay, Janie?

11:25 Caller Okay.

11:26 Drew Do you understand what that is?

11:27 Caller Yeah. Don't you need like a parent's signature or something?

11:30 Drew Not to my knowledge. Depends on what state you're in. But go to Planned Parenthood. They should be able to give you that without any difficulty. You can also call 1-888-NOT-2-LATE, L-A-T-E, 1-888-NOT-2-LATE. And they can usually refer you to somebody who can get the pill for you.

11:47 Adam Did it just slide off?

11:49 Caller Yeah. It just like slid off. And the thing is, he didn't like the ejaculator. He put it in like once and then he realized it was off. And so like we freaked out and did something like really stupid. We bought spermicide and put it in after.

12:03 Adam Fantastic. It must have been a lovely deflowering you had there.

12:07 Caller I know.

12:08 Adam Something your grandchildren will cherish.

12:10 Caller I know.

12:11 Adam So he never had an orgasm?

12:13 Caller No.

12:15 Adam Drew, I know technically we're supposed to tell people to do this stuff.

12:18 Drew The morning after pill.

12:19 Adam Yeah. But two days after the period, he never has an orgasm. He puts it in, the thing slides off.

12:26 Caller I was using the rhythm method too. And they said that it was safe after your period for three days.

12:33 Adam I thought you were a virgin though. Yeah. So the first time out.

12:38 Drew She had it all mapped out.

12:40 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, it should be because most women ovulate, I don't know, 15 days or something.

12:45 Drew 18 in there. But it's not 100%. I still think, but he didn't ejaculate in you, right? No. All right. So it's probably not that big a deal. If I were you, I would still do this. I would suggest you take the morning after pill.

12:57 Adam Well, I would look into getting it just to have it anyway for the next time.

13:02 Caller Yeah.

13:03 Adam All right, Janie?

13:04 Caller Okay.

13:04 Adam All right.

13:05 Caller Okay. Thank you.

13:06 Adam God bless you. Enjoy. That was a great time out. Losing your virginity. You know what I mean? It's so bizarre, so awkward, so painful, so humiliating. The condom comes sliding off. I bet the condom slid off because he was having a little trouble with his erectile function.

13:24 Drew Yeah. Which is a very common thing first time.

13:26 Adam Then it's, let's grab some spermicide and ram it up you and see if we can't kill whatever I may have dripped in you. I mean, talk about uncomfortable. All right. Tony?

13:39 Yeah.

13:39 Adam You're 20. What's up?

13:41 Caller The other night, I had a girl around the house. Everything was on. We were getting it on my couch. We came upstairs to my room. I wasn't able to, I didn't get a wreck.

13:55 Drew We couldn't spit it out there. Yeah.

13:59 Adam It was like that episode where Fonzie had to say he was wrong. He was like, I was, I was, just couldn't say it. I can't remember if it was sorry or wrong or maybe both. But the point is, Tony's like, yeah, I was with that lady, we went upstairs and I couldn't. I mean, what it is is my penis went.

14:21 Drew We get a beep, beep, beep, beep.

14:24 Adam All right. So you had a little difficult. Is this the first time this has happened?

14:29 Caller No, this is actually my second time. Well, the first time, I was at my, I was at some girl's grandma's house, but the situation was really bad. It was like really late at night. My grandma was in the front room and her, All right.

14:42 Drew So you were anxious that time.

14:43 Caller But it was a bad situation.

14:45 I wasn't able to perform on that one.

14:47 Adam You've had sex a number of times?

14:50 Caller About twice.

14:52 Adam Oh, okay.

14:52 Drew So both times it didn't work?

14:54 Caller No, once it worked after that one.

14:57 Drew I see.

14:57 Caller Twice after that, you know, like this one. I don't know if it was like the situation, like I came upstairs and they ruined the moment or something.

15:04 Drew Look, you need to sort of, what do you call that, your break-in person?

15:08 Adam Yeah, is this the same girl every time? No. Okay, here's what you need to do, Tony. You need to find one girl that you like, that you can kind of work things out with.

15:20 Drew You understand? You like, there's a key to that. Someone you actually care about.

15:23 Adam Yeah, and-

15:24 Drew That's a stretch for you, Tony.

15:25 Adam And you need to just sort of work it out, get comfortable. You know that first person, put him on hold, Drew. I don't want him chiming in. But there's that first person, you know, there's the first person you have sex with, and then there's the first person you walk around naked with. You know what I'm talking about? And it's not usually the same person. We all have our little encounters, our little drunken this and that at the party or in the car, but then there's that one person. I don't know when that, what do you think the average-

15:55 Drew Age for that?

15:56 Adam Yeah, I mean, a lot of people-

15:57 Drew 20 probably?

15:58 Adam Yeah, a lot of people have that first girlfriend at 15, 16, but that's not usually the break-in person, unless they stay together for a number of years. But usually somewhere around 19 or 20, you meet somebody, you're a little bit older, you're a little bit more confident. You've had a couple of sexual encounters before this, nothing too meaningful, and you stay with this person for a little while, you're working out. But you do all the positions, you walk around nude.

16:22 Drew But the fact that you're able to do all those things is because your anxiety levels are down. And when the anxiety goes down, male function is much, much better.

16:28 Adam Yeah. It's no different than a friend you know. It's no different. It's like, how's your anxiety level on the first date as opposed to someone you've been with for a couple of years and you go out to dinner and a movie?

16:41 Drew Right.

16:42 Adam Thank you.

16:42 Drew How was PI, by the way? What did you talk about?

16:45 Adam It was just nothing but sex. It was just pure debauchery.

16:49 Drew Yeah. I left there feeling like, I got to get back on that show and sort of do it meaningfully again.

16:56 Adam Steer it back away from Sodom and Gomorrah?

16:59 Drew Yes.

17:00 Adam Yeah. I think Bill got caught up with Heff over there in the mansion. Here's what went on. Drew did it last night. I did it tonight. They're doing, because it sweeps, I believe.

17:13 Drew I'm sure.

17:13 Adam They're doing Politically Incorrect from the Playboy Mansion.

17:16 Drew By the way, they had it beautifully set up. Did you see the picture coming in and out?

17:20 Adam No, I didn't see the monitor.

17:22 Drew It's beautiful the way they photographed it.

17:23 Adam The Playboy Mansion is going to be the home of PI for the entire week. They had beautifully lit all outside. It's all by the pool. If anyone who's listening hasn't been to the Playboy Mansion, it is everything you've dreamt it would be.

17:41 Drew By the way, I imagine what that was going to be was like us around a table in the library or something. I had no idea they were going to have a big elaborate thing.

17:48 Adam It's outside by the pool and a bunch of celebrities wandering in and out and then just a whole bunch of good looking extras, maybe 300 and it basically looked like a swinging cocktail party. There's Bill Maher wearing a smoking jacket sitting on a velvet sofa right in front of the pool and everyone gathered around a la Playboy After Dark, which is a show that hefted in the 60s, probably out of Chicago though, I can't remember. It was a good time. I saw a few celebrities, had a nice time. Jeff Bridges, the actor, who was a pretty big name guy, like ran me down. He was like, Adam, Adam, Adam. He came running up, wanted to do the show, and I'm sure he'll never do it.

18:31 Drew He wants to do the Man Show?

18:32 Adam No, he wants to do Loveline.

18:33 Drew Oh, no kidding. That's a big deal.

18:35 Adam Yeah, he'll never be here. But the point is he ran me down. That's nice. So talk to Howie Mandel, who's now bald. No. Oh, yes. Shaved head. Why? Because when you're a Jew and you live in the hills, you've got to keep your edge. You've got to shave your head.

18:55 Drew We met his wife and some of his kids. They were really nice people.

18:57 Adam Yeah. Howie Mandel is like the world's nicest guy. I was telling him about the time he told me that during his boy's circumcision, they took the, that's Drew's pager, they took the foreskin, they buried it out in the backyard as some tradition would have it, and the dog dug it up and ate it. Remember that story?

19:19 Drew That's right, that's right.

19:21 Adam So it was good and we just finished the, I guess he taped like two or three shows a day. I did the last show. I finished the show and literally ran for my car and thought to myself, what the F am I doing? This is a, this is first off, Bill Maher and a half are shutting the place down tonight, probably four in the morning. There's nothing but booze flowing. There's a jazz quartet. There's beautiful busty extras wandering all over the place. And I thought, would you shut up? I thought I could easily spend another couple hours here, putting a few back and then hide in the dumb waiter. That's my plan. Jump in the dumb waiter, get caught in between floors and just spend the rest of my life there like Bad Ronald, sneaking out at night, eating cheesecake, banging playmates who have had too much to drink and passed out, and then scurrying back to the dumb waiter.

20:16 Drew I actually felt very uncomfortable. I was not in the right environment for me at all.

20:19 Adam Well, that was...

20:19 Drew You know, I played... Well, they have you in a green room waiting. I played that centipede video game for half an hour and then went out there, did this thing, was uncomfortable and left.

20:28 Adam Yeah. Well, they're working it out. And that's not your dick.

20:32 Drew No, that's not my dick.

20:32 Adam That's not your scene.

20:33 Drew That's not my scene.

20:33 Adam I'm very much at home there.

20:35 Drew That's your thing, dude.

20:36 Adam All right. That's my bag. Should we take a break or are you just going to sit there and obsess on the computer?

20:41 Drew Yeah. I was watching the college chat room at drdrew.com. There's not too many people in there and no one's asking any real significant questions in there. So if you want stuff to be discussed on the show, you got to ask a question and I'm not going to be chatting in that room. I'm just viewing it. I'm just watching your question.

20:54 Adam Fine, you idiots. I have to pee.

20:56 Drew All right.

20:57 Adam All right. So when we come back, we'll speak to Scott.

21:00 Drew No, we'll talk to Colleen.

21:02 Adam Colleen. Yeah. Colleen is 19, picks at her arms and legs until she bleeds. Really? We want to come back to that? Yeah.

21:10 Drew What else do you want?

21:11 Adam I got a whiz. We'll call it good enough. Hey, push that button there, Drew.

21:15 Drew We about to get funky, yo.

21:17 This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

21:21 Drew We'll be right back.

21:55 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew's board certifies his existence.

22:06 Drew Hey, listen, I got to apologize to my wife who got very angry with the fact that I was at the Playboy Mansion last night. She didn't know I was going there for whatever reason. I screwed up and didn't.

22:19 Adam Please. She just called you?

22:22 Drew Well, it's not funny, it upset her.

22:26 Adam Wait a minute. What does she care? What are you doing there?

22:30 Drew It's that she would have wanted to come and felt like she was being excluded from this thing. We were trying to hide something from her.

22:36 Adam Please. But now listen, Drew, and I know Susan's listening, and this is for her good and your good too. There's certain things you got to apologize for, but if you apologize for everything, then it's almost an admission of guilt, and it's as if there was some malice involved or something like that. Now, Susan, I know you're listening. Drew was the most trustworthy guy on the planet. Drew was running from one job to the next, I'm sure. Drew was there all of an hour, and then ran out to do this show and had a miserable time. Was her plan to, you know, follow you over there, caravan?

23:15 Drew Well, she would have wanted to come and feel like...

23:17 Adam No, she wouldn't have. You're running right out of the place.

23:20 Drew Well, at least she wanted the chance to go over there. She would have stayed. You know, she would have enjoyed it. I wouldn't have.

23:24 Adam She would have stayed?

23:25 Drew Yeah.

23:26 Adam Drinking her...

23:28 Drew Red Bull.

23:28 Adam Her Red Bull and...

23:30 Drew Anyway, it made her... The point is, it made her feel bad, and that's because of a mistake I made, and I feel bad about that.

23:35 Adam Oh, you didn't make a mistake. It's working. What's that? Play it again.

23:39 Drew I'm keeping it really in.

23:42 Adam Drew, here's what I'm...

23:44 Drew It's an awful feeling when you make somebody feel bad and nothing you can do about it. You your shit.

23:48 Adam It is, but I got this theory, and stop reading your chat room thing there when I'm trying to have a heart to heart with you. I believe, and I know you're going to agree with this, that sometimes we've all done this in relationships where we go to our partner and we go, I know you liked your ex-boyfriend more than me, or who was this other guy, or who's this picture of this guy, or where were you, or whatever. And what you really are asking for is you're feeling a little insecure, you're feeling like you're getting a little out of control, and you're almost asking me to put in line, I think, like a little tug on the chain. I really do. Hey, I admit it. I wouldn't mind it if a girl pulled me aside once in a while and said, listen, don't worry about this other guy and stop being an idiot. Rather than, no, no, no, no, no, it's okay, it wasn't anything, it was just a couple of days. Then I get a little momentum, just a couple of dates, you know what I'm saying? And I think you got to do that once in a while, not over everything. Yeah. I mean, sometimes you're wrong.

24:55 Drew But once somebody feels bad, then you want to...

24:58 Adam Well, I mean, you say to them, I'm sorry you feel bad, but if this is all it takes, you got to look into that, because you didn't do anything. If you've done something, then apologize. If you apologize for something you didn't do, then it's like you did it.

25:13 Drew I didn't make it clear. She didn't know where I was going.

25:17 Adam That's my fault. Where'd you say you're going?

25:18 Drew Politically incorrect.

25:19 Adam All right. So what? You went to politically incorrect.

25:22 Drew Well, she's supposed to be in control of my schedule and stuff, and nobody told her where it was, and it makes her feel like she's being loved.

25:28 Adam All right. But listen, do you want to keep that going, or do you want to kind of stuff it out a little bit?

25:35 Drew I'm going to roll the clock back and get her in there.

25:37 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no. That just keeps it going. Here's the way you extinguish that a little bit. Sorry, I told us go on to PI. I forgot I was at The Playboy Mansion. Let's move on. That's what I'm saying.

25:48 Drew Yeah. Let's move on to the show anyway.

25:51 Adam All right. Colleen?

25:53 Caller Yeah?

25:54 Adam You're 19?

25:55 Drew What's up?

25:57 Caller I heard a show that you guys had done a while back where someone called in and they had been doing methamphetamines and they talked about having picking. Right.

26:06 Drew Picker syndrome.

26:07 Caller And I do that, but I don't take methamphetamines and I pick until I bleed and it hurts.

26:14 Drew Do you wash your hands a lot or pick your fingernails and pull your hair out, that kind of thing? That also can go along with it. It is an obsessive-compulsive kind of a behavior.

26:23 Is it?

26:24 Drew And it's very, very common with stimulant addicts, but it can happen in other conditions too.

26:28 Caller Like what?

26:29 Drew Like obsessive-compulsive disorders.

26:31 Oh.

26:31 Adam You have that?

26:32 Drew Depressions, certain kinds of depressions.

26:34 Caller Well, I've been depressed lately, but.

26:38 Adam Yeah.

26:39 Caller When I started, I was like 14. I've been doing this. I had this habit for like five years.

26:46 Adam How do you pick? I mean, do you get something going and then it scabs and then you pick the scab off?

26:51 Caller I do that. Yeah. But I feel like I go into a little zone.

26:55 Adam Yeah.

26:55 Drew It's like the hair pulling. Same kind of thing.

26:57 Adam All right. Well, maybe you got to get on something.

27:00 Caller Get on something like drugs.

27:01 Drew Their medication. No, not drugs.

27:03 Adam Look at them as happy pills. Yeah. Well, something's going on.

27:08 Caller Yeah.

27:08 Adam Yeah. You want to go to. Why don't you go to a psychiatrist and talk it over?

27:11 Caller Well, that's another thing I was going to ask. I don't have a lot of money. So, is there something that people can do when they don't have a lot of money but they need to talk to someone?

27:20 Drew University centers, county hospitals. They're often prorated places around you can get to. I would start with an academic institution. It's often free. Okay. Like a teaching hospital.

27:31 Adam All right, Colleen.

27:32 Caller All right.

27:32 Adam Take care of yourself.

27:33 Caller Thanks a lot.

27:33 Adam All right. I pick up myself. It's only my nose and my ass, though. And not in that order. But those are the only places.

27:43 Drew You pick and you pull.

27:44 Adam Yes. I prefer to think of it as yank.

27:46 Drew Oh, yeah. Pick and yank.

27:47 Adam I pick and I yank. Yeah. I go up my nose when I'm driving.

27:52 Drew Somehow the seven dwarfs just come to mind.

27:54 Adam Pick, pull, yanking, grumpy and sneezing.

27:58 Drew Then working in the mine.

27:58 Adam I pick my nose when I'm behind the wheel. And then when my ass is freed up, when I get home, I go up my ass for a while. And then later when my penis has some time off, then the yanking begins. That's my ritual. Scott?

28:12 Yeah?

28:13 Adam What's up?

28:14 My wife loves your show, watches it, and listens to it every single night.

28:20 Adam Fantabulous.

28:21 Caller All right.

28:22 I've got a question for Drew.

28:24 Caller Yeah.

28:28 My penis, every time I go to the bathroom, my penis kind of drips afterwards. I mean, you know, after you do the shake and everything, but it's shake, it still keeps going, like kind of like a runny nose after for like a couple hours.

28:42 Drew You can look forward to much more of this as you get older. It's usually a problem with the prostate that does this. Prostate is either inflamed or not functioning normally.

28:50 Really?

28:50 Drew You had any infections?

28:51 No.

28:52 Drew Never?

28:53 No.

28:53 Drew Do you lift weights or do anything where you're strapped?

28:55 Yeah, I lift weights.

28:56 Drew Yeah. Weight lifters get this a lot.

28:59 Really?

28:59 Drew Yeah.

29:00 I take creatine. Does that do anything?

29:02 Drew Not that I'm aware of.

29:02 Adam Does it go back if you stop lifting?

29:04 Drew It tends to. Yeah, it gets better. But the heavy Valsalva maneuvers, that pushing you do before you lift, is really irritating on the prostate.

29:13 Adam Yeah. So here's the moral. Lift weights, but let's say you're doing bench press. Yeah. Just use a mop handle. You know what I'm saying? Save that prostate.

29:24 Caller So I take creatine. Would that do anything?

29:28 Drew Did I not just answer that a few seconds ago?

29:29 Adam No.

29:30 Caller You said no, I wouldn't.

29:31 Drew I don't think so.

29:32 Adam There you go.

29:33 Caller Okay. Thank you.

29:34 Adam All right. Kiss your wife for us.

29:35 Caller Thank you.

29:36 Adam All right. Keisha.

29:39 Hey.

29:39 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

29:41 Caller Okay. I haven't dated a black guy in like four or five years.

29:46 Adam For me, it's been two and a half. Just thinking out loud. Yeah. Go ahead, Keisha.

29:51 Caller And a few of my friends have been making comments saying that there's something psychologically wrong with me because of that, because I haven't.

30:00 Adam You're black yourself, I'm guessing.

30:02 Caller Oh, yeah. Definitely.

30:03 Drew And you've dated all kinds of people.

30:05 Caller Oh, yeah. White, black, Mexican, you name it.

30:07 Drew And just recently you haven't dated African Americans.

30:11 Caller Well, no. I just haven't found anybody that really interested me in that way.

30:15 Drew There you go. That's it.

30:17 Adam Fine. Who cares? Date white guys.

30:20 Drew Or whatever. I think the fact that you just date the person is admirable. You're looking for a person to interest you, and that's great.

30:28 Caller Precisely. That's what I thought, but I thought it bared merit just to ask.

30:32 Drew Well, it's worth thinking about to make sure you're not motivated by something that's sort of not apparent to you at this time.

30:39 Adam He's trying to piss someone off?

30:42 Caller No, not at all. I just find it erotic. I like it. That's all.

30:46 Adam All right.

30:46 Caller Yeah.

30:47 Adam Like being with a nice pink-skinned man, huh?

30:52 Caller You know, the color thing just gets me, ooh.

30:56 Adam Yeah. All right. Have fun. We don't care. Yeah, don't worry about it. Tell your friends to relax.

31:02 Caller All right.

31:03 Adam All right. You've got plenty of white guys to date?

31:06 Caller Oh, yeah, definitely. I guided a little bit of everybody that tries to hit on me, so I have no problem.

31:12 Adam So what have you done so far? Max skin, white, black?

31:15 Caller Oh, let's see. OK.

31:17 Adam Let me write this down. Hold on a second. Drew, get one of those IHOP placemats and I'll circle the flags as she talks. Keisha?

31:28 Caller It hasn't been that many.

31:29 Adam I see. So what have you done?

31:31 Caller I've been white, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, obviously black. I've dated a Thai guy, Italian. I've dated quite a few. I'm a little girl, what can I say?

31:46 Adam Yeah.

31:47 Caller I mean, I just love men. There's nothing wrong with that.

31:50 Adam Yeah. She's got a vagina like the United Nations. My God. And she's broken down. I mean, forget about just the Japanese guy to scratch the Asian off the list. She's got the Chinese and the Thai guy.

32:02 Drew She has those little things for...

32:06 Adam All right. Well, anyway, Keisha, you do what you like. It's no problem. Nobody's business but your own.

32:10 Caller Eric?

32:11 Adam 21. What's up?

32:13 Caller I was wondering what would happen if you mixed acid or... If it would be bad if I mixed acid and shrooms.

32:20 Drew I don't know that it's any worse together than they are individually. In other words, it's a net sum rather than some multiplication of their effects.

32:28 Caller Oh, yeah. Because me and my friends were like wondering, like, because we had some the other day, and like they were wondering what would happen if they put like a couple drops on one of the caps.

32:39 Adam Yeah. But listen, Eric, why bother? Just take the acid or take the shrooms.

32:44 Drew You're asking for trouble, Eric. You really are going to get yourself in big, big trouble here.

32:48 Adam I know. And it's retarded, too, because it's like saying, well, I got a pumpkin pie and I got an apple pie. What if I just mash two slices together? Wouldn't that be the world's yummiest dessert? No, you retard. Just pick one and eat it. All right. And listen, knock it off. You're barely employable. You hear me, you goofball? Yeah. Seriously, where do you work?

33:11 Caller I don't work.

33:11 Adam There you go. And what's up? What's the plan?

33:17 Caller I like don't do nothing. I'm like sitting around the house.

33:20 Drew What's the plan?

33:22 I need to get a job.

33:23 Drew Doing what?

33:26 Caller Well, I don't know. All right.

33:29 Drew Hey, Eric. It's like I'm talking to a Martian.

33:32 Adam Listen to me, Eric. I swear to Christ. Do not screw with your brain anymore. You need what little you have left or started with to get a job.

33:43 Drew To me, that's as I talk to a Martian. Hey, I can't comprehend that.

33:47 Adam I give this speech weekly now, but I am deadly serious when I say a guy like, who was that, Eric?

33:53 Drew Eric, yeah.

33:54 Adam Guy like Eric, I think it's safe to say, and I know you don't like to say this, Drew, but I don't understand that we're living in this climate where there's no difference in anyone. Everyone's a genius and everyone's the same nationality, and there's no difference, isn't anybody? Listen, they're stupid people. By the way, if they're smart people, they're stupid people, because unless we're all as smart as the smart people, that makes some of us stupid. It just, you know, on this planet.

34:22 Drew Or less smart.

34:24 Adam However you want to couch it, they're smart people, they're dumb people, and they're sort of middle-of-the-road people. And that's most the people, and that's why it's the medium. But the deal is, when you're really stupid, and I'm guessing a guy like Eric, not the brightest bulb in the chandelier from the word go, then starts mixing the shrooms with the acid, and goes from stupid to retard. Now he can't work. Stupid guys can work. Stupid guys can make a living, they can get in a union. God knows, you're stupid, get in a union. They feed you not to work. And then, if you go ten minutes into, here's how the union works, at least as far as Hollywood unions, as I can tell. You eat the entire day, and then if you don't eat promptly at five o'clock, they give you a meal penalty. It's always the most ridiculous thing in the world. I know all these grips and gaffers want to kill me when we're standing around the stage, trying to do a run through, and the director's yelling, we got a break in six and a half minutes. And I'm thinking to myself, you mothers have pounded 80 pounds worth of god damn quesadillas in the last hour and a half. There's literally a woman walking around the set with a tray full of Swedish meatballs and quesadillas nonstop. The only time she goes back in to reload and then comes back out again, smoothies, dip, soup, everything. It's like you're going to explode before lunch, and if we don't break for lunch, there's a meal penalty? What the hell is that? Kiss my ass. Here's the point. Get into one of these unions if you're stupid. But you can't get in if you're retarded. You can only get in if you're stupid. All right. You want to go to break? We'll do that.

36:16 Loveline will be right back.

36:48 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Eve Six in here tomorrow night. Yeah. All right. Ready to get back to the phones here, Drew? Let's go. Yeah. Speaking to Jen.

37:07 Caller Hey, what's up?

37:08 Adam Hey, Jen.

37:09 Caller Hi. Okay. Well, I'm calling tonight because even when I go without smoking pot for a bit, I still feel high. And then sometimes I get like the surge of an extra high when I'm sober and make a point to be sober.

37:19 Drew How long is a bit?

37:20 Caller How long has it been since what?

37:22 Drew You said when you're sober for a bit, how long is a bit?

37:26 Caller Like half a day or a day?

37:28 Drew Well, marijuana stays in your system for weeks, stays in your fat for your life. If you go out and exercise, you'll get an extra surge and feel high from that.

37:36 Caller Really?

37:36 Adam Half a day?

37:37 Drew You have to be off it for weeks.

37:40 Caller So, like, yeah, I'll just feel like it will be like a surprise when it just comes out of that.

37:43 Drew No, you're serious.

37:45 Caller Or is that just psychological?

37:46 Drew No, your fat is saturated with cannabis. And if you skip a meal, you'll release it from the fat. If you run, you'll release it from the fat.

37:53 Adam So, if cannibals ate her, it would be like a pot brownie.

37:56 Drew Absolutely.

37:57 Adam You can look forward to that.

37:58 Drew It takes weeks, weeks to get out of your system.

38:00 Caller Okay. And, too, I was wondering, like, what the chances were of me catching something serious from sharing pipes like herpes or coltswords or something.

38:09 Drew Why would that be something serious, by the way? It's one of the good things you can get from it.

38:13 Caller Because it's unsightly and gross.

38:14 Drew Oh, something unsightly? Not that good.

38:16 Adam Listen, easy on the weed there, Jen.

38:18 Drew No, it's not possible. She can't stop.

38:21 Caller No, no. It's helped my life, actually.

38:23 Drew Oh, yes. Okay.

38:24 Caller Yes, it has.

38:25 Drew Well, mark my words. It will have a consequence.

38:28 Adam Imagine where you'd be without marijuana.

38:30 Caller Excuse me?

38:31 Adam I said imagine where you'd be without marijuana.

38:34 Caller I know where I'd be.

38:36 Adam Where? Dead or in jail?

38:38 Caller That's right.

38:39 Adam That's right, baby. All right, keep smoking.

38:41 Caller Okay.

38:41 Adam All right, we'll talk to you in about five years when you've done nothing.

38:45 Caller When I've done nothing?

38:46 Adam Yes.

38:47 Caller Okay, well, I'll see you there, then.

38:48 Adam All right. Bye-bye. There you go. Hey, listen, I don't mind the weed, but don't kid yourself. You smoke every day. That's it. It drives me nuts when people get on a high horse about the thing. I got no problem with weed. I think it should be legalized if you want to toke out when you get home from work or whatever. Fine, but those of you who wake and bake, it affects you and you don't think it does. I'll tell you why you don't think it does. You're stoned. Everyone else knows. Why is it we talk to people and in the first eight seconds of conversation, you don't even know. Not that they're stoned now, just that they've been smoking regularly.

39:32 Drew They're regular smokers, yeah.

39:33 Adam Yeah, it's like, all right, but it's not detectable. You don't think people know? We're talking to you. You're in Wisconsin on a phone. It's your parents' house. You've said three and a half syllables. We know you're a chronic weed smoker. You don't think it affects? You don't think when you're going in for a job interview and sitting across the guy, he can tell? We're on the goddamn phone. You haven't even got a complete sentence out. We know you smoke weed. So listen, if you want to smoke, it's fine. But understand, people know it holds you back and you got to moderate. And if you can't moderate, you got to quit. It's just like anything. Lisa?

40:13 Caller Hi.

40:13 What's up?

40:15 Caller Okay. A couple of weeks ago, my mom's boyfriend was over and my mom wasn't home. And he stopped by. And he started hitting on me. And I kind of like hit on him back. And then we had sex. And I don't know if I should tell my mom or not.

40:36 Drew First off, you hate your mom.

40:38 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Of course. Where's your dad?

40:44 Caller Well, he left when I was like really little. So I don't even know him.

40:48 Adam I see.

40:49 Drew Do you have any idea why he left?

40:51 Caller I don't know. My mom like doesn't really talk about it. But I just think that they didn't really get along. But I don't know.

40:57 Adam I see. And so you had sex with your mom's boyfriend.

41:01 Caller Yeah.

41:01 Adam He sounds like a wonderful individual.

41:03 Drew He is a world class dick. World class.

41:07 Adam And yeah. And you want to know whether to tell your mom.

41:11 Caller Yeah.

41:12 Adam Now, why would you want to tell your mom?

41:14 Caller Well, I don't know. He told me not to. And I know that my mom really likes him. But I don't know if she would still want to if she knows that he did that. So.

41:27 Adam Are you trying to save her or are you trying to get back at her? And why did you go along with it?

41:35 Caller Well, I don't know. It just sort of happened.

41:38 Adam Yeah. But you knew what was going on. I mean, granted you're 16 and your dad left and all that kind of stuff, but you knew what was going on. What do you think in you made you do it?

41:52 Caller Um, I don't know. I guess I just... I mean, I always thought he was, like, kind of cute, but I never thought that I would do that.

42:00 Drew Do you have any problem with your mom?

42:02 Caller Not really. We've gotten along pretty well.

42:04 Adam You don't resent her in any way?

42:06 Caller No.

42:06 Drew There have been periods where you didn't get along?

42:09 Caller Yeah. Sometimes we get in arguments.

42:11 Adam Yeah. What's your mom do?

42:15 Caller She's a sales representative.

42:17 Adam I see.

42:18 Drew Sounds like American Beauty.

42:19 Adam Is she out of the house a lot?

42:21 Caller Yeah.

42:22 Adam Uh-huh. All right. It sounds like you had a little payback heading toward mom.

42:27 Drew It does, but she was raped, basically. She can't render consent. What state are you in?

42:32 Caller I'm in California.

42:33 Drew All right. You can't have sex with this guy. This guy's going to jail.

42:36 Adam How old is he?

42:37 Caller He's 36.

42:39 Drew That's the other idiot. Your mom needs to know what kind of an a-hole this is. It's not your fault. You were abused by this guy. Okay. I think she does have to tell mom. Yeah.

42:48 Adam Well, you think your mom is going to want to marry him?

42:50 Drew In fact, you may want to go to a medical professional first, call a helpline, rape crisis line like RAINN, R-A-I-N, and get the ball rolling where you start documenting what had happened. In case she freaks out or reacts negatively, you have a support system there that's documenting things on your behalf.

43:08 Adam Well, wait a minute. It was consensual sex. I know she's a minor.

43:14 Drew She can't render consent.

43:16 Adam I know, but I don't know what a rape crisis center is going to do for that.

43:22 Drew They refer for forensic evaluations.

43:24 Adam Why do you need forensic evaluations?

43:26 Drew To prove that if he says, I didn't have sex with her, it's his word against hers.

43:29 Adam Yeah, but I get the feeling your mom would believe you if you had told her.

43:34 Drew Yeah, but this guy should be in jail.

43:35 Adam Would she believe you?

43:37 Caller Yeah, I think she would.

43:38 Adam She would? Yeah. How long ago did this happen?

43:42 Caller Like two weeks ago.

43:44 Drew Okay. There's no point really.

43:46 All right.

43:47 Adam Hey, Lisa?

43:48 Drew I seriously would call the police.

43:50 Adam You really should. This guy is an idiot. Okay. Yes, I would tell mom, and you have to get mom not to continue the relationship with him. You don't want this guy in the house, do you?

44:04 Drew No.

44:04 Adam No. All right. Tell her.

44:07 Caller Okay.

44:07 Adam All right. Take care.

44:09 Caller All right.

44:09 Adam Oh, boy. Oh, man. What the hell? What are guys thinking? You know what I mean? Guys are animals. We got a 16-year-old girl today. I mean, have you seen some of these 16-year-old girls? Oh, yes. Your wife's also saying, I know you can't say anything.

44:28 Drew Chris? Don't make her sound so bad. She has to deal with a lot.

44:32 Adam Oh, she's all right.

44:33 Drew She's good.

44:34 Adam I mean, she's good. Yeah. What'd I say?

44:36 Drew She's all right. You also made it sound like a Red Bull drink, which she's not.

44:40 Adam Oh, no. She drinks four or five nights a week. It's not every night. Chris? Stop. Yeah.

44:46 Drew She should be raising three kids. Oh my God.

44:48 Adam Oh, listen to me. Listen, I'm telling you, Drew, that woman runs roughshod right over the top of you on a nightly basis, so you're prince. Do you hear me? Bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan, working your ass up.

45:00 Drew She has to put up with this every night. She has to be-

45:02 Adam What? This? Don't call the show you won't put up with this. What are you talking about? Put up with this. She calls up to- She pages you.

45:09 Drew Stop.

45:09 Adam Wait a minute. Hold on.

45:10 Drew Stop.

45:10 Adam She pages you during the show.

45:12 Drew Yeah.

45:13 Adam Is that true?

45:14 Drew That is true.

45:15 Adam Why does she page you during the show? So that your pager can go off on the air at 10.

45:20 Drew Because I'm not home so little, there's very little time for us to talk.

45:23 Adam But she's listening to the show. She can page you when we go to break.

45:28 Drew Well, it's hard to time that by the time it goes to break, breaks over by the time I get the page.

45:32 Adam What are you talking about? She knows we ain't doing nothing at 10.10. She knows what the clock is on this show. She can page you at 10.19 or as soon as we go to commercial.

45:44 Drew But it takes sometimes one minute, sometimes eight minutes for a page to arrive.

45:48 Adam All right. You're lucky I don't know what a pager is, how it functions. All right. Then you dutifully call her back and then you apologize on the air, and then that's where the trouble starts. She just shouldn't have chewed on you during the show. That's all I'm saying. You didn't do anything wrong.

46:03 Drew She really didn't. She didn't.

46:04 Adam This is for her, the Drew. That's what you don't understand. That's where you screw up in your approach. Women don't like a spineless guy. They run right over you. It makes them feel insecure. It does. They feel like they're in danger all the time.

46:21 Drew Anything I want to be dominated.

46:22 Adam You see that? Chris, you're 16.

46:26 Drew You make her sound bad though. She's not bad.

46:28 Adam No, she's not bad. She has her good qualities.

46:32 Drew She has to put up with a lot.

46:34 Adam All right. She's got a couple issues too. That's all I'm saying. She knows that. I tell her. That's no big deal. That's what the show's about. Chris, you're 16.

46:45 Caller Yeah. I've been in a relationship with a girl for about a year and a half now, a little more, and we both, we decided to break it off.

46:54 Adam All right. Hold on. We got to go to break. Drew, you're not going to run in there and call her, are you? Oh, no. Listen, I'm going to talk to her.

47:03 Okay.

47:03 Adam All right. We'll get this whole thing straightened out after this.

47:06 Caller Let's have some more fun.

47:09 Let's do it.

47:10 Caller Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:14 Loveline will be right back.

47:58 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Just had a nice conversation with Drew's wife. Got everything all wrapped up, except for the part about Drew getting his ass kicked around the house when he gets home. She's all right. We had a nice conversation.

48:16 Drew Which is great.

48:17 Adam Let me tell you something what I appreciate about Drew's wife. I don't have this relationship with anybody else except for your wife, Drew. I've always had a completely open and honest dialogue with her. Yeah. To the point where it borders on a rude and confrontational, and way, way out of bounds. But I have the conversations with your wife that I would like to have with most of my friends' wives, but it's just way too uncomfortable.

48:49 Drew No, that's one of the things great about her. She's uncensored. It's it, man. It's there.

48:54 Adam Yeah. I don't believe she has a liver. I just think stuff goes right through her. There's no filter. It's like, if she was a car, the exhaust pipe would just go straight into the cam. It wouldn't even bother going out the back. There'd be no catalytic converter. There'd be no muffler. It'd just be sawed off right at the head. That's what it would be.

49:18 Drew I like that by people that are very...

49:21 Adam It's a double-edged sword, let's be honest, but I've always enjoyed my very candid relationship with your lovely wife.

49:30 Drew That's good.

49:30 Adam We just had another good conversation on the phone. Although, thank God, every time I talk to your wife, there should be a radio show starting. That's got to go. And I'll toss your mom onto that list while I'm at it. There should be a radio show waiting for me every time I'm in a conversation with everybody. And I could either choose to jump onto or not. But it's great. It's like, 30 seconds. Susan, gotta go. Huh? Sorry. Get over it. See ya.

49:56 Drew All right. I saw you trying to get away from my mom one time, too.

50:00 Adam I enjoyed that for the first two and a half hours. It was just the second four hours. All right. Yeah, it was like that PBS special on the Civil War. Hey, Brian?

50:13 Yeah?

50:13 Adam It's Adam.

50:14 Oh, hey.

50:15 Adam What's up?

50:16 Oh, it's horrible out there.

50:18 Adam You're 17. What's going on? Yeah, you're right.

50:20 Caller Horrible world, you know.

50:21 Adam It's all coming apart.

50:23 Caller Yeah.

50:23 Adam What do you need?

50:25 Caller All right. Well, I have a girlfriend, but she's pregnant. Oh, my God. And it's horrible. I've seen some horrible things out there.

50:35 Adam Yeah.

50:35 Drew Out where?

50:36 Adam Well, Vietnam, Cambodia.

50:39 Caller You know.

50:40 Adam Yeah, it's been tough. Hey, Brian, we're going to hang up on you in a second.

50:44 Caller Why?

50:45 Adam Well, get to your question.

50:48 Caller Okay. Well, I was having sex with her like two nights ago on Sunday, and I noticed like white, like, all sort of like chunks.

50:58 Adam Yeah.

50:58 Drew This is the pregnant girlfriend, right?

51:00 Adam Yeah.

51:01 Drew You should talk to her obstetrician. That's probably a yeast infection, but various kinds of vaginitis can actually impact on the safety of the pregnancy. So it is important you talk to the obstetrician about it, okay?

51:11 Caller Oh, okay, because, well, I mean, I haven't got nothing. I mean, it was like that.

51:15 Drew Brian, it's not about you and it's not funny. It's the child's safety of the child here, okay?

51:20 Adam You make one hell of a father.

51:22 Drew God, it's like, hey, I got to think. Not me. It's not about, okay, Brian.

51:26 Adam Yeah, your girlfriend's pregnant, buddy. Don't worry about you for just a second. I hope there's triplets in her so that Brian can have the joy of raising a child three times over. Oh, can you imagine? You think we're in trouble as a country? We got Brian as daddy over here, everybody.

51:46 Drew Lots of Brian's.

51:46 Adam And listen.

51:47 Drew Millions of Brian's.

51:48 Adam Okay. Here's the deal, y'all. I was a jackass when I was 17, too. I don't blame Brian. I couldn't have raised a kid at 17. Are you kidding me? Drew, could you imagine?

52:00 Drew No.

52:01 Adam Drew, you're Drew and you would have screwed up a kid at 17.

52:04 Drew Absolutely. At 25. Are you kidding?

52:07 Adam I would have traded my kid for a minibike when I was 17. I swear to God I would have.

52:14 Drew Hey, I got a couple of questions on the chat. Somebody was asking about rectal bleeding, which by the way is a medical emergency. You need a doctor to evaluate that immediately. Another question was on bimonthly mushroom use. So regular mushroom.

52:25 Adam Every other month?

52:26 Drew I think I'm in twice a month. I see. That's the kind of stuff I expect to see the same kind of brain damage we see from LSD.

52:34 Adam Doesn't bimonthly mean every other month? Doesn't it mean twice a month? Well what's bi-weekly? That would be twice a week or that would be every two weeks? Bi-daily? You never hear of that. What's that Anderson? Thank you.

52:50 Semi-monthly is every other month.

52:53 Adam Semi-monthly is every other month. So bimonthly is twice a month. Yeah? You're with bimonthly twice a month? Okay.

53:00 Caller 60 Minutes airs bi-weekly.

53:02 Adam 60 Minutes airs bi-weekly, which is twice a week. Okay. Fantastic. Shannon?

53:09 Yes.

53:09 Adam You're 27. What's up?

53:10 Caller I got a question. When I was 14 between the ages of 14 to 17, my brother-in-law fondled me, molested me, whatever. He just basically went at my shirt and touched me there from those ages. He made it a game. Now I'm 27. My sister is still married to him. I'm married.

53:29 Drew Does he have children?

53:31 Caller Oh yeah. I have a nephew. Nobody knows this. My parents were pretty much a close-knit family. So nobody's aware of this. I don't know if I should just, you know, my husband knows about it. Greg don't do nothing now, but he occasionally makes comments, you know, sexual comments to me.

53:50 Adam How old is he now?

53:54 Caller My sister is nine years older than me. And so, she's...

53:58 Caller All right.

54:00 Adam I didn't know. Let me just rephrase that. How old is he now? Do you see how deliberate I was when I said that?

54:09 Drew Let's see if you get that.

54:10 Adam Do you know what the answer was?

54:12 Drew My sister is nine years older.

54:14 Adam There you go. Shannon.

54:17 Yes.

54:18 Adam How old is he now?

54:22 Caller Greg is 35.

54:25 Drew He was 20.

54:26 Adam So he's seven years older than you.

54:28 Yes.

54:28 Adam Or eight years.

54:29 Caller Yes.

54:29 Adam And so when you were 14, 15, he was in his 20s.

54:34 Caller Exactly.

54:35 Adam And he did this from the time you were 14?

54:38 Caller Yes.

54:39 Adam To the time you were 17?

54:40 Caller Since I got pregnant when I was about 18 years old. So he's when I got pregnant.

54:46 Drew Pregnant with him?

54:48 Adam No.

54:49 Caller He's starting messing with me.

54:51 Adam That's quite a gentleman.

54:52 Caller So I don't know, should I just not say nothing to anybody?

54:56 Adam Well, now hold on a second there.

54:58 Caller Saint.

54:58 Adam Hold on, hold on.

55:00 Caller So.

55:00 Adam I picture Shannon churning butter right now as we talk out on a porch somewhere. Shannon, where are you from?

55:06 Caller I'm from Dallas.

55:08 Adam I see. Boy, you got some twang in you. I'll tell you that, sister. What did he do when he fondled you?

55:15 Caller He basically made it as a game if I joked around with them, called them a name, he would carry me into the other room and just put his hands at my shirt and stuff and grab breast and it never went no further than that.

55:31 Adam Just breast.

55:32 Caller Exactly.

55:33 Adam And.

55:34 Caller He was a breast man.

55:36 Drew But he didn't.

55:36 Adam Hold on. I can't blame him for that.

55:38 Drew He didn't touch genitalia, didn't try to have sex with you or anything like that. No.

55:42 Adam No. And this went on. I mean, when you're 17 years old at a certain point, weren't you like, hey.

55:48 Drew Cut it out.

55:48 Adam Hey, Greg.

55:49 Caller Really naive growing up. My parents kept me very, very sheltered.

55:53 Adam I see.

55:54 Caller So I, you know.

55:56 Adam Right. Now you have 14 kids.

55:58 Caller It went. No, I don't.

56:00 Adam I see. All right. So this guy was out of line, but in a sort of strange way and not that. I mean, he was out of line, but not out in the drainage ditch by the side of the road that most of our callers are. This guy was just sort of on the shoulder of the road.

56:18 Caller Yeah.

56:18 Adam I'm not exactly sure why he was just sort of. Do you have a large rack?

56:23 Caller No, no.

56:24 Adam Well, then there's no excuse.

56:26 Caller No, there wasn't. I just, you know, should have just be hushed. I never say nothing about it to myself.

56:33 Adam I tend to think, and you know me, I just figure move on and enjoy.

56:39 Drew But, keep the kids away from him.

56:42 Adam Well, not his kids. His kids are living with him. His kids are living with him, right?

56:47 Exactly.

56:48 Caller I have a niece.

56:49 Adam Yeah.

56:50 He would ever.

56:51 Adam Well, what's he do for a living?

56:54 Caller He works for Mercury. He makes cable, I mean, stuff like that. It's a warehouse job.

56:59 Adam I see. All right.

57:01 Caller My sister's a very high profile, works very hard, and she brings in most of the money.

57:06 Adam I see. And do they seem to be getting along okay?

57:09 Caller You know, they have a great marriage, you know.

57:11 Adam Okay.

57:12 Caller Okay. Just basically hush and don't...

57:14 Adam All right, Shannon. Yeah, I wouldn't open this can of worms. Just, you know, don't hang out with a guy too much. Focus on your own family and enjoy, as I say. Well, I don't know what to say. I mean, she wasn't nine. She was in her teens. He would sort of playfully, you know, grab a boob out of line, no doubt about it, but what do you do? And he hasn't done it in ten years. And are you going to bring it up? And isn't that going to maybe the family turns on you?

57:44 Drew Could it destroy a family that is doing okay? That's the downside.

57:48 Adam And of course, he's just going to, you know, you're going to confront him and he's going to go, listen, I loved you like a daughter. We were wrestling. We were having a good time. You did. You started it half the time. You know, whatever. Didn't she sound like a Carol Burnett character? Yeah. Vicki Lawrence playing the Vicki Lawrence is mama. Angie.

58:10 Yeah.

58:11 Adam You're 20. What's up?

58:13 Caller I was just wondering what the repercussions are of smoking cigarettes and taking birth control pills.

58:19 Drew Well, as you hit in your 30s, the risks of what's called thromboembolic disease, clots in the legs, heart attacks, those things tend to go up so much so that it would be actually recommended that you not be on the pill if you're a smoker in your 30s. In your 20s, it's not as big a deal, but there is some added risk.

58:36 Adam Well, she's got 10 years. Jake?

58:39 Caller Yeah.

58:39 Adam You're 18.

58:40 Caller Yeah.

58:40 Adam What's up?

58:41 Caller I seem to have this problem with napkins.

58:44 Adam Yeah.

58:45 Caller As far as dryness goes.

58:47 Drew Feminine napkins?

58:49 Caller Like cotton in a medicine bottle. But I'd say about 10 times worse.

58:55 Adam All right. Let me see if I can recreate that statement.

58:57 Drew Say that again.

58:58 Adam I seem to have a problem with napkins, like dryness, like cotton in a medicine bottle. It's about 10 times worse. Well, I think the answer is apparent.

59:12 Drew Poor alcohol.

59:13 Adam I don't know what the hell he's talking about. What's he talking about?

59:16 Caller I have no idea.

59:16 He gets the heebie-jeebies.

59:17 Caller It's like the texture, like the touch. It's just real dry.

59:22 Adam Napkins are?

59:23 Caller Yeah. Or any kind of paper product.

59:25 Adam I see.

59:26 Caller You know, and I is escalated to where some of my clothes just, you know.

59:31 Adam What about bathroom tissue, if you know what I'm saying?

59:34 Caller Oh, you know what, though? That's something I'll deal with, you know?

59:38 Adam Yeah, that's right. You're a pragmatist.

59:40 Drew So the texture of paper is like fingernails down the chalkboard for most people, right? It's that kind of irritation.

59:46 Adam Well, listen, I'm with you on certain things, like notebook paper and stuff sometimes, if you crinkle it up in your hand or something's a little weird. But paper towels shouldn't turn you off too much.

59:58 Caller Paper towels are the worst.

1:00:00 Adam Yeah. You're not a two-ply man, are you? No. I see.

1:00:04 Drew All right. I can't think about it.

1:00:05 Adam Well, you're definitely weird. You understand that, right?

1:00:09 Caller I suppose.

1:00:10 Adam And this has everything to do with you and nothing to do with paper products. So what are we going to do about this?

1:00:18 Caller Oh, I don't know what to do.

1:00:19 Drew There are behaviorists out there that can sort of... It's a phobia, basically, and there are people out there that can sort of decondition you out of this.

1:00:25 Caller I actually use like dish towels and cloth napkins instead.

1:00:29 Adam Well, this is... Such is life. Yeah. But you got to bring your own napkin when you go to the McDonald's, right?

1:00:37 Caller Well, either that or I just, you know, I'll tough it out and go wash my hands later.

1:00:41 Drew You start carrying a handkerchief like they used to do in the old days.

1:00:44 Adam Yeah. And then when a chick likes you, she drops hers. Imagine that. Imagine that as a ritual today. Remember the old days, cartoons and stuff? I don't know, Elizabethan days. A woman would catch the fancy of a young gentleman and she might go to him and drop her hanky. And of course, he'd bend down to pick it up. And then that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Imagine that. The guys would pick the hanky up, run, spread it on their belly, and whack off now. And then give it back.

1:01:19 Drew Oh my God.

1:01:20 Adam That's what I think would happen in today's culture. All right, Drew, you're going to pick a call there?

1:01:25 Drew That was one we just lost.

1:01:26 Adam I understand there, buddy. Joe, Jonathan. Yeah. You're 22. What's up?

1:01:33 Caller I have a real problem with violence. And it pretty much really scared me earlier today when my sister got into a really big fight with my mother and she basically put my mother in tears and I almost put my sister through the glass window that we have in our living room. I mean, this isn't the first time that I've done this either.

1:01:58 Adam Yeah. Where's your dad?

1:01:59 Caller My dad died back in 93.

1:02:02 Adam Was he violent?

1:02:03 Caller Not that I know of. He was a really big drug user and he used to take me on runs, but before he died, he turned towards the church and I saw he turned his life around.

1:02:16 Drew Well, but you certainly witnessed some aggression.

1:02:18 Adam And then God killed him or how did that work?

1:02:21 Caller He was electrocuted on his job.

1:02:22 Adam I see. God bless God. It's like guy pedals drugs for 20 years, finds Jesus Christ and gets fried at work. Yeah. I'm guessing he's an electrician. Yeah. Yeah. It's a dangerous job that electrician. People don't know it, especially doing commercial work, which I'm guessing he did, right? Yeah. What happened?

1:02:44 Caller He was working for a job for a really big computer company, and basically people on the job had been getting shocked left and right, and he basically went to the company and told them to turn the power off, and they gave him the ultimatum of go back to work on live wires or you're fired. And he had to support me at the time, and he went back to work, and about 20 minutes later he was electrocuted.

1:03:09 Adam Did you guys get a big insurance settlement?

1:03:11 Caller We sued him and it took about six years, and we wanted about a year and a half ago.

1:03:17 Adam All right. How much money did you get?

1:03:19 Caller Not a lot.

1:03:20 Adam Oh, really?

1:03:21 Drew The attorneys did, though.

1:03:22 Caller Probably roughly after the lawyer cost and stuff, about $40,000.

1:03:29 Adam Yeah. It's crazy, isn't it?

1:03:31 Caller No.

1:03:31 Adam Taxes and all that stuff. I mean, you know, listen, everybody, when people are talking about 200 grand, you're talking about taking home the $40,000, attorneys and Uncle Sam and everyone else.

1:03:43 Caller All right.

1:03:43 Adam Well, that's tragic. But you grew up around a guy who was stealing drugs, but he wasn't violent.

1:03:50 Caller Not that I ever saw. He, every now and then, when my sister would be up, and we had our little sibling rivalries, you know, we'd pick on each other. And sometimes, you know, he would, I can only remember two times that he ever hit me and knock me to the floor.

1:04:07 Drew Okay, well that's...

1:04:09 Adam Knocking to the floor is pretty good, though.

1:04:10 Drew That is, ever doing that is way, way over the top. So that's where this comes from.

1:04:17 Adam Well, and just the fact the guy was a drug dealer, maybe using drugs, and you know, a less than jovial childhood is what Jonathan had. So Jonathan, why don't you look in the little therapy or something, see if you can contain this anger.

1:04:32 Caller Well, I'm not too sure where to go because I just got off of the streets of living there for about three and a half years, and my mother just gave me, you know, let me come back home and stuff, and I don't have any insurance.

1:04:46 Drew Then go to Al-Anon. Just go to some place where there's a 12-step program and get a sponsor and start working the program.

1:04:52 Adam What, is he drinking?

1:04:53 Drew No, Al-Anon.

1:04:53 Adam Oh, Al-Anon. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I see, because his dad is a drug addict. That's nice, out on the streets. Robert.

1:05:02 Caller What?

1:05:03 Adam You're 17.

1:05:04 Drew There's plenty of reasons to be rageful.

1:05:05 Adam Yeah, no kidding.

1:05:06 Caller Yeah, I was calling because, like, I have this thing where, like, my hands are always, like, getting all sweaty and everything, and I was wondering what I could do about that.

1:05:17 Drew Well, there's a cream called Xerac, X-E-R-A-C, and there is an operation where they can actually ablate the nerves, the sympathetic nerves in the armpit that actually supply the sort of energy to cause the sweating. And there's a dozen of things that can be done.

1:05:33 Adam Oh, the procedure is not done in the hand or the wrist?

1:05:36 Drew I think it's in the, it's right here, I think it's a...

1:05:39 Adam But isn't that for the armpit?

1:05:40 Drew Actually, it may be right up here. No, it's for the...

1:05:42 Adam I always thought it, I thought it was in the hand.

1:05:44 Drew There's an armpit one that can do to ablate the apocrine glands.

1:05:49 Caller It's just the hand.

1:05:51 Adam Yeah, I understand. Why don't you try some of that Xerac stuff?

1:05:54 Drew All right.

1:05:55 Adam It's a Xerax? Xerax? Xerax? AC. All right. Go to a dermatologist. You rub it on there, you know, I don't know, before you go to bed and it stops from sweating.

1:06:11 Caller Xeraz?

1:06:13 Drew Yeah. AC.

1:06:14 Adam AC? Yeah.

1:06:16 All right.

1:06:16 Adam Thanks. All right. All right. Josh?

1:06:21 Yeah.

1:06:22 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:06:24 Caller Well, lately, we've been going on for what? A month now?

1:06:28 Adam Yeah. It seems more like five weeks to me. Yeah.

1:06:33 Drew Lately.

1:06:34 Caller Well, when I wake up in the morning and I go to use the restroom, for some odd reason, I'll just grab my penis and pull forward on it, and this discharge will come out. It's not like discharge color. It's more like, I don't know, it looks like mucus to me, like pus.

1:06:52 Drew Is it white?

1:06:54 Caller No, it's yellowy kind of.

1:06:55 Drew Is it pain when you urinate?

1:06:58 Caller Well, no, it doesn't at all. I've heard just showing everything and I've heard people say it hurts and everything like that and it swells and things like that, but nothing like that.

1:07:05 Drew Yeah. Are you sexually active?

1:07:07 Caller No, not right now.

1:07:08 Drew When was the last time you had contact?

1:07:10 Caller Two months ago, two, three months ago.

1:07:12 Drew And that's been the duration of this symptom, right?

1:07:15 Caller Yeah. And then every three hours, four hours, I don't know, I don't really keep track, but every time I go to use the bathroom and before I do it, I'll just do that to see if it's gone away or nothing, but it hasn't.

1:07:28 Drew It's there every four hours?

1:07:29 Caller Or something like that, yeah.

1:07:30 Drew Well, it may be just some sort of lubricant created by your prostate gland. That's a normal thing, but it needs to be cultured to make sure it's not some infected material. People can get low-grade infections with chlamydia and non-gonococcal causes of urethritis, or prostate infections even could do this. So I would strongly urge you to get that cultured, okay?

1:07:51 Caller Yeah, I'll just make sure because I've talked to somebody else before and they're like, well, it's normal.

1:07:56 Drew You can be normal, but you can't say it's normal till you prove it's normal.

1:08:00 Caller Okay, that's good.

1:08:00 Drew Okay.

1:08:01 Adam All right.

1:08:01 Caller So it's semi-normal and maybe, maybe not.

1:08:04 Adam Hey, listen here. Josh, you got to get it cultured. So next time you wake up, get one of those, get one of those little containers. You measure Nyquil in, do it into that, and take it with you to the doctor. What do you say, Drew? Sounds like a plan.

1:08:21 Drew The doctor will send the pipe brush up anyway.

1:08:24 Adam Oh, he will? Yeah. Why? You got it.

1:08:27 Drew No, it's all contaminated. It's not a culture medium.

1:08:30 Adam Well, it's got a little urine.

1:08:31 Drew Chlamydia's got a special thing you have to swab immediately on to.

1:08:35 Adam Oh, anything that go up the peepee.

1:08:37 Drew Yes, anything.

1:08:39 Adam You know, I'll tell you.

1:08:39 Drew We look for reasons to do that.

1:08:42 Adam I swear, I think my, I don't know if my grandfather, my grandma was telling me once, you know, had a container they were going to crap in and bring it with them next time or something. Oh, that part of medicine. Jesus Christ. What is that? You give them like a little Tupperware container and they got to bring it back with them?

1:09:00 Drew We call it a high hat, a top hat. A little thing you put in under the seat and if you turn it upside down it looks like a top hat.

1:09:07 Adam How much Duke do you need?

1:09:09 Drew Not much.

1:09:10 Adam It seems like a fingernail full would about do it.

1:09:13 Drew I was just reading...

1:09:14 Adam I mean, you need a pound and a half?

1:09:16 Drew We do a lot of it. In fact, I was reading tonight, a famous gastroenterologist was suggesting we do too much stool culture in this country.

1:09:22 Adam Well, listen, I've said it for years. I was just talking to a guy at the Man Show about...

1:09:30 Drew Stool culture?

1:09:30 Adam Too much stool culture. Why is that? Why are we wasting money on culturing the stool?

1:09:35 Drew On cultured stool, culturing it?

1:09:37 Adam Yes.

1:09:37 Drew Well, it's needed some...

1:09:41 Adam It's rough around the edges?

1:09:42 Drew It's rough around the edges, need a little bit of language and history.

1:09:45 Adam We send the duke to finishing school, learns to walk with a book on its head.

1:09:50 Drew It's just been incorrigible all these years.

1:09:53 Adam Which is the salad fork, not to put its elbows on the table when it's eating.

1:09:57 Drew Isn't that important?

1:09:58 Adam I don't think I've ever had a stool culture. I'd like to get one of those. I have. You have? That's nice. When are you going to bring in my penis test?

1:10:09 Drew What?

1:10:10 Adam Remember we were talking about?

1:10:11 Drew Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

1:10:13 Adam Drew says 75 percent of people walking around out there have the wart virus.

1:10:20 Drew I'm sure you do.

1:10:22 Adam I know you think I do and I know I don't. So, I want you to put your money where your mouth is or put my penis where your mouth is. You bring that stuff in, rub it on my penis, we'll put the flashlight on it or the black light on it, we'll get to the bottom of this. All right, smart guy?

1:10:36 Drew Yeah.

1:10:36 Adam All right, we'll be back. Yep, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, Eve Six in here tomorrow night. And let's talk to Alicia. Alicia?

1:11:24 Caller Yes.

1:11:25 Adam You're 27?

1:11:26 Caller Yes.

1:11:26 Adam What's up?

1:11:28 Caller I just found out that I have strep throat, and before I knew, I performed oral sex on my husband, and I was just wondering if he could get any kind of bacteria from that.

1:11:37 Drew How do you know you have strep throat?

1:11:38 Caller Because I went to the doctor and I had a throat culture check.

1:11:41 Drew Culture came out positive.

1:11:42 Caller It came out positive.

1:11:43 Drew And your husband has no symptoms right now?

1:11:46 Caller No.

1:11:46 Drew He's fine? Yeah, he's fine. You know, there are certain infections, the urethra, that probably could be a strep, but really be unusual. So he should be fine.

1:11:57 Caller OK.

1:11:57 Drew And as long as he doesn't have any symptoms, he is fine.

1:11:59 Adam OK. Are you able to perform with the strep throat?

1:12:04 Caller Well, I haven't done it since I found out.

1:12:06 Adam I see. But you think you might?

1:12:10 Yeah, I think so.

1:12:11 Adam God bless you.

1:12:12 Thanks a lot.

1:12:13 Adam That's a trooper.

1:12:14 OK.

1:12:15 Adam All right. All right.

1:12:16 Bye.

1:12:16 Adam Just got a little lozenge for her. A little ropey lozenge. All right. Mark? Yeah. You're 21.

1:12:26 Caller Yes, I am.

1:12:26 Adam What's up?

1:12:27 Caller Yeah, I was seeing a girl in high school. She was a sophomore and I was a senior and she got pretty close. And then we broke up and later on down the road, I met up with her again and I sort of fell in love with her. And she contracted general rewards and stuff. And I still feel strong feelings for her and possibly even thinking about marriage and stuff like that and kids. And even, you know, aside from the fact that she has general rewards, I was wondering if you guys, you know, my question is, can I still have kids with her?

1:13:05 Drew Mark?

1:13:06 Caller Yeah.

1:13:06 Drew You know all the other female friends you have?

1:13:08 Caller Yeah.

1:13:09 Drew Three quarters of them have virus, have warts.

1:13:12 Adam Not three quarters.

1:13:13 Drew Three quarters. Three quarters.

1:13:15 Adam I'll go with half.

1:13:16 Drew All right.

1:13:16 Adam Maybe.

1:13:17 Drew Half.

1:13:17 Adam Maybe.

1:13:18 Drew It is the most, it's more common than not. Do you understand that? Why are you so freaked out about this?

1:13:24 Caller I'm not freaked out, I just, you know, I want to be able to have a relationship. I just, you know, I want to have a...

1:13:29 Drew No, it's warts. If you had warts on your finger, would that be a problem?

1:13:34 Caller I don't know.

1:13:34 Adam All right. But he's not putting his finger up his ass.

1:13:37 Drew I understand, but people are freaking out about this thing.

1:13:39 Adam Hold on. Mark, you're not putting your finger up your ass, are you, brother?

1:13:42 Drew That actually would be a serious thing, because there is rectal cancer from warts has been associated.

1:13:47 Adam Oh, man, does God hate the gays.

1:13:49 Drew But...

1:13:51 Adam He can't stop thinking of ways to torture him. He really can't. He just can't. All right.

1:13:58 Drew But the point is, the warts are a nuisance, warts are transmissible. They need to be managed if it's a woman with it, because they'd increase the risk of cervical cancer in some cases.

1:14:06 Adam You're getting married? Fantastic.

1:14:09 Drew Game on.

1:14:09 Adam Game on. All right. Vladimir. I think we scared him.

1:14:18 Hello?

1:14:18 Adam Vladimir? Yeah.

1:14:21 Yeah, what's up?

1:14:22 Adam Hey, Vladimir, you're 15.

1:14:23 Caller Yeah.

1:14:24 Adam What's up?

1:14:25 Caller Hey. I was wondering, like, what's the latest time to pass puberty?

1:14:30 Drew What's that?

1:14:31 Caller What's the latest time to pass puberty?

1:14:33 Adam Um, let's say Tuesday, about 11, 11.45, 11.30, something like that.

1:14:40 Drew Vladimir, some people at your age still have not achieved that yet, and it's not a bad thing. It's actually associated with longer lives.

1:14:48 Adam That's right.

1:14:48 Drew Lifespan. And it's very, I'm sure, unsettling to you at your age when everybody else looks like King Kong.

1:14:54 Adam Especially when your name is Vladimir. You know, you're picturing, you know what I'm picturing? A guy named Vladimir, I'm picturing a guy wearing one of those wrestler unitards with just a single strap over, you know, like the Giants wear. Who decided the Giants wore boxer trunks with one strap over only one shoulder? You know what I mean? It's like, it's like you can wear regular wrestler's outfit with the, you know, the ones where they basically the tank top is sewn into the trunks. But when you get over 380 pounds, you go down to one strap.

1:15:30 Drew Do you mean Giants like, like fairy-tale Giants?

1:15:32 Adam Fairy-tale Giants, wrestler Giants.

1:15:35 Drew Why are fairy-tale Giants also dumb with buck teeth?

1:15:39 Adam Well, it is documented that bigger guys are dumber. I mean, we all know that. The deeper your voice, the dumber you are. But, but, you know, the one strap over the shoulder, that's what I picture Vladimir wearing. And that doesn't bode well with the, with the slow onset of puberty. But, that's all right. He'll be fine, right, Drew?

1:16:02 Drew He'll be fine.

1:16:02 Adam There you go. Laura?

1:16:04 Drew Yeah.

1:16:05 Adam You're 20.

1:16:06 Drew Yeah.

1:16:06 Adam What's up?

1:16:07 Well, okay, here's the thing.

1:16:08 Drew Hey, Laura, just one second. You know, I rarely talk about all the different sort of workups that need to be done to assess whether or not somebody should be concerned about a delay in puberty. And maybe one of these nights I'll go through all that. But there's a lot of different medical syndromes associated with it. And certainly, he should see his doctor to make sure that all the glands are turning on appropriately. Go ahead, Laura.

1:16:27 Caller Hi.

1:16:29 Sorry, my friend's talking to me. Okay, so here's the thing. I have been dating this guy for about a week now. And he's really good-looking and he's really nice and kind. And I am really concerned that he might be gay.

1:16:42 Drew Well, if he's really nice and really good-looking, it must be.

1:16:44 Yeah. Well, because this has happened to me twice before. And I was in a relationship for quite a long time that I just got out of like a month ago. And I have strong suspicions that he was probably gay, too.

1:16:55 Drew Why?

1:16:56 Because we were never really physically intimate very much. And like, I don't know, I just had problems with this in the past. Like, the first guy I ever kissed turned out to be gay, like, three months later, he decided that he was. And I felt like it was my fault because I made him gay.

1:17:11 Adam Well.

1:17:11 Which I know that's not true.

1:17:12 Adam Well, now wait a minute. Come on, you may have turned him gay. Yeah, sure. Happens every day.

1:17:19 Drew Well, not everybody has that power.

1:17:21 Adam Yeah, but there's no way I'm kissing Lauren going gay.

1:17:25 Well, I don't I don't know. I mean, like, I'm good looking. I'm smart. But like, I, I really have a propensity to go for these guys that are very.

1:17:34 Adam Yeah. Where did you meet this guy?

1:17:36 At a party. He came with my gay friend.

1:17:39 Adam He came with your gay friend? What kind of car does he drive?

1:17:42 A BMW.

1:17:43 Drew Uh-oh.

1:17:44 Adam Gay? Gay is the day long. Which one?

1:17:48 I don't know. It's older.

1:17:49 Adam It's older. It's not the, it's a little convertible?

1:17:53 No, no, no.

1:17:54 Adam It's not a convertible?

1:17:54 No.

1:17:55 Adam Okay. And what's he do for a living?

1:17:58 Well, he's in school right now.

1:18:00 Adam I see.

1:18:01 Film.

1:18:01 Adam What's his major?

1:18:02 Film. Cinema.

1:18:04 Adam Uh-huh. Does he wear glasses?

1:18:05 No. Well, yeah, he does sometimes, but not always.

1:18:08 Adam Yeah. What kind of frames?

1:18:10 Uh, they're round and small.

1:18:13 Adam Yeah. Could be gay. Could be German. He's not German, is he?

1:18:17 German.

1:18:17 Adam Uh-huh. And what about the shoes? What kind of shoes does he wear?

1:18:21 Uh, well, he has, I don't know, like...

1:18:23 Adam Does he seem to care about his shoes?

1:18:26 Yeah. He cares about how he dresses a lot.

1:18:28 Adam Yeah. And the shoes especially?

1:18:31 I haven't noticed the shoes in particular, but yeah.

1:18:33 Adam You know why gay guys are concerned about shoes? Because women are concerned about shoes, and gay guys are concerned about what women are concerned about. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There's a correlation there. That's not a coincidence.

1:18:47 I think that's why I get along with them so well.

1:18:49 Drew Well, let me ask just a quick question.

1:18:51 Adam How many dates have you been on with this guy?

1:18:53 Oh, it's like three.

1:18:54 Adam And what has he done? Has he made a move?

1:18:56 Yeah. I mean, we've been very physical together.

1:18:59 Adam Oh, you have?

1:18:59 He's attracted to me, yeah.

1:19:01 Adam Yeah.

1:19:01 But then he's always telling me about his gay friends and how he wants to go out with them that night.

1:19:06 Adam Well, how physical have you been?

1:19:09 Well, pretty physical.

1:19:12 Adam You slept together?

1:19:13 No, no, no. I'm a virgin.

1:19:16 Adam I see. Listen here. OK, hold on a second.

1:19:18 Drew Sum up, sum up. My space in the country.

1:19:21 Adam Yeah. And by the way, ladies, when you're saying, hey, I'm 20 and we're pretty physical, and I say, how physical? And you go, pretty physical? I'm thinking sex. I may be, if you're calling Loveline, I'm thinking more than sex. I'm thinking like bowling pin in the ass. So, pretty physical and not having sex, you're selling yourself short. I mean, you're giving people the wrong impression. Laura's 20, she's still a virgin.

1:19:50 Drew Let me ask you a couple of questions.

1:19:51 Adam Yeah, we'll get to the bottom of her.

1:19:53 Drew Hey, Laura? Laura?

1:19:55 Hello?

1:19:55 Drew Do you have any nightmares?

1:19:56 Um, wow, like once in a while.

1:20:00 Drew Do they have any predominant themes, these nightmares?

1:20:03 Um, no, not really.

1:20:06 Drew What was the last one about?

1:20:08 Adam She was raped by Rip Taylor.

1:20:10 How did you know? I'm trying to think. Um, oh, my teeth were falling out.

1:20:19 Adam I see.

1:20:19 There was a lot of blood.

1:20:22 Drew And your mom, what was your relationship like with her?

1:20:24 Oh, I have a really close relationship with my mom. We're best friends.

1:20:27 Adam Uh huh. Listen, maybe I'm the most jaded guy in the world, but whenever I hear someone say that they're best friend with one of their parents, I think something's up.

1:20:36 Why?

1:20:37 Adam Because, you know, here's the best you should do with your parents. Casual acquaintance. I mean, that's the most I'd admit. You know what I mean? That's as far as that'd go. Yeah, we're all right. He's an all right guy. Best friends with my mom. That's recalculus.

1:20:53 Drew It's often that's a compensation for something, too.

1:20:55 Adam Yeah.

1:20:55 Drew Something left undone.

1:20:57 Adam Why? Okay, why are you still a virgin at 20?

1:21:00 Well, because I've wanted to find the right person, and I haven't found him yet, but I was thinking that maybe this guy might be the one until I have these suspicions that he might be gay.

1:21:10 Adam I see. Well, you know, he hangs around with a lot of gay guys. He seems overly concerned with them. He dresses very nicely. You're attracted to him.

1:21:21 Yes, very much.

1:21:21 Adam On the other hand, he's doing physical stuff with you, right?

1:21:25 He's bisexual.

1:21:26 Oh, God.

1:21:27 Adam And does he seem to have a good erection and everything?

1:21:30 Yeah.

1:21:31 Adam What are you guys doing?

1:21:33 Oh, I don't know if I should say. I mean, well, like oral sex and things like that.

1:21:39 Adam I see.

1:21:40 Drew Things like that.

1:21:41 Adam Nice.

1:21:42 Drew Nice?

1:21:43 Adam Uh-huh. That's all a guy needs. All right, Laura, listen, just stick with it.

1:21:49 Really?

1:21:50 Adam This is a...

1:21:51 Can I confront him about it?

1:21:53 Adam His peepee doesn't smell like poo poo, does it?

1:21:55 No.

1:21:55 Drew Oh, man. You're out of control, man. You're on a roll.

1:21:59 Adam Thank you.

1:21:59 Drew I want to dissect her a little bit. All right, go ahead.

1:22:02 Adam Nah, just talk to her.

1:22:04 Drew Is your mom drink?

1:22:05 No. God, no.

1:22:07 Drew Did she ever?

1:22:08 No, I don't think so.

1:22:09 Drew Is she sort of a lay-by-all person or sort of dramatic or...?

1:22:15 Oh, no, no, no. She's a nurse. She's very healthy.

1:22:17 Adam Ooh, nurse. Red flag.

1:22:19 Drew Yeah, is her dad an alcoholic?

1:22:22 Her dad was abusive.

1:22:23 Adam Yeah.

1:22:23 Drew Okay.

1:22:24 Adam Only crackpots go into nursing.

1:22:26 But, I mean, not physically abusive to her. He was abusive to his wife.

1:22:30 Adam Yeah.

1:22:31 Drew Okay. And was he an alcoholic?

1:22:33 I don't know. I don't know much about him.

1:22:35 Adam We'll go with yeah, because you don't abuse until you're drunk. You don't abuse at noon when you're sober.

1:22:39 Drew Yeah. And a lot of nurses have alcoholic parents. It's a common thing. That's interesting. I just wondered...

1:22:47 Let's say.

1:22:47 Drew Well, I'm wondering about this thing with the tea spitting out and stuff. I wondered if there's some residual, real aggressive stuff hidden inside Laura here.

1:22:55 Well, I'm very voracious, sexually.

1:22:58 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:22:59 Yeah, it's not like I don't.

1:23:01 Drew But it has to be with guys that are not really interested in you.

1:23:05 Adam Is he sort of passive? Are you leading the charge sexually?

1:23:10 No, not necessarily. It has been like that in the past.

1:23:13 Drew And did she use the word voracious? Because I was talking about the oral thing she's got.

1:23:17 Adam Yeah. Well, we're going to turn over all the cards and have Arlene Francis weigh in with a guess. I have no idea.

1:23:24 Drew Well, she seems to be having an OK Con with the guy.

1:23:25 Adam Don't confront the guy. Just let the thing, you know, move forward with the relationship, see where it goes, and don't freak yourself out too much. But if you see the buckles on the shoes, that's a red flag. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:23:41 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:24:16 Adam Yeah. I was just talking to Drew about something I want to continue on the air, because it's kind of interesting to me, the sort of deprivation of service that is going on in this great land of ours, whether it's the guy at the gas, well, let's just take the gas station for just one second. And here's what I'm leading into, Drew. I think we're now living in a society where if you want service and you want courtesy, you buy it. That's what's going on. And I think there's people who have money and will get the thank yous and come right this way. And there are people who don't, who will be starved of it, completely deprived. Where is I believe in the past, sure, if you had money, you got treated better. I mean, if you walked into a casino and you're dropping some money, you got a little better treatment. If you bought a first class plane ticket, of course you got a little better treatment. That's goddamn right you do, three grand. But here's my point. Everyone got equal treatment at the gas station, at the corner store. Do you know what I'm saying? Just that part of life. And when your parents were growing up, and even I remember as being a kid, a gas station guy wore bow tie and he came out and he washed a windshield down, he wanted to check the oil, have a nice day, come again, let's check the tire pressure. That is, we're a million miles from that. And now you get the foreign guy who just gives you that steel-eyed look, just that look like he wants to dance on your grave from through the four inch thick bulletproof glass. And I'm thinking, I wonder if that just subtly takes its toll on the country as a whole. Oh sure. That you go through your day, there's no thank yous, there's no come again, there's no, you know, I'll go to the same gas station, and I got a couple of gas stations around my house, I'll swing in there twice a week. There's never a, how you doing, or back again, or late night. You know what I mean? It's like, it's just zero. And there's not even a thank you, or you know, come again or something, that would be, they probably shouldn't do that because I'd grab for my heart like Fred Sanford and fall over right there on the pavement. But there's not even, not as there not even a thank you, there's not even a nod or anything, it's just toss the change back at you. If that glass wasn't there, I think they'd just throw it. They put it in a shotgun and blast it in your face. And I'm just wondering if everyone's not just a little bit meaner and a little bit more freaked out and feeling a little bit more alone.

1:26:56 Drew Yeah, a little more anxious and aggressive too because of it.

1:27:00 Adam But look at it this way, I don't want to put too fine a point on this, but when your community was, your community where the guy at the gas station knew you, where the guy at the market knew you, even if he didn't know your name, you went in, hey, you're back. How's it going? Then you kind of felt like connected. Sort of connected.

1:27:18 Drew Connectedness is lost.

1:27:19 Adam Now it's like, hey, you're on your own and I'm in it for me.

1:27:23 Drew In this country right now, people are lucky if they're connected to their parents. When they're three.

1:27:28 Adam Yeah, think about that.

1:27:30 Drew Yeah. I mean, that is the core issue going on right now. You're just looking at the top layer of it.

1:27:36 Adam I know, but so we're sort of giving birth to a generation of people just going through life alone. Sort of looking out for yourself, loners, disconnected, and by the way, taking care of themselves, number one.

1:27:51 Drew Well, if you're disconnected, you can't empathize with other people. They don't really exist.

1:27:55 Caller Yeah.

1:27:56 Adam Hmm. Yeah, everyone at a gas station around here feels that way. But you know, you travel a little, you don't get that. I mean, we're driving through Wisconsin. Drew and I driving through Wisconsin, car stops at a mini mart, 7-Eleven. We walk in there and the guy's like, howdy. I'm like, huh? What, are you filming a commercial?

1:28:18 Drew Where is the commercial? Can I take you over there and show you where it is?

1:28:21 Adam Yeah. And it's like, uh, do you have a bathroom I could use? I could be in the corner. No, no, no. Here's the bathroom. It's right over there. It's like, oh, my God. I can't believe it. What's this guy want? He must want something. Ah, you know what it is? He just robbed the place. He killed the owner and he's behind the counter. The guy's bloody corpse is lying at his feet. He's trying to get us out of there. Yeah. It's, uh, it's unnerving. Brenda?

1:28:49 Drew Brenda?

1:28:50 Adam Caller who goes by the name of Brenda? Who's 19? Whose brother mysteriously died?

1:28:59 Drew I hear her breathing.

1:29:01 Adam She's been on hold for eight minutes. Where's she? All right. Screw that. Let's see. Yvonne?

1:29:08 Caller Yeah, this is me.

1:29:09 Adam You're 26. What's up?

1:29:11 Caller I take various psych drugs.

1:29:14 Drew What do you take?

1:29:15 Caller I take a serizone.

1:29:16 I take Neurontin. I take Respiradol.

1:29:20 Drew Okay.

1:29:20 I also take, oh, I can't think of it right now.

1:29:23 Drew What's the question?

1:29:24 Caller I have these very deep nightmares.

1:29:27 Very intense nightmares. I've been having them for about a year and a half.

1:29:29 Drew Serizone will frequently do that.

1:29:31 Caller Okay.

1:29:31 Caller This is a doctor new, though.

1:29:32 Caller That's about three months old.

1:29:33 Caller All right.

1:29:34 Drew Respiradol can do it, too.

1:29:35 Oh, can it?

1:29:35 Caller Yeah.

1:29:36 Caller Okay.

1:29:36 So that's totally normal.

1:29:38 Drew You want to tell your doctor about it. It's not normal. It's very unpleasant.

1:29:41 Caller He doesn't seem to make a big deal about it.

1:29:43 Drew It's not a big deal unless it's a big deal to you.

1:29:45 It is a big deal to me, though.

1:29:46 Drew You got to go back and talk to him some more.

1:29:47 Talk to him some more?

1:29:48 Drew Yeah.

1:29:48 Okay.

1:29:49 Adam All right. But talk to him about this, not just, you know, about the Lakers. Chris?

1:29:54 Drew Did they win, by the way?

1:29:54 Adam Yeah, I think they won big. Chris, you're 19. Yeah. What's up?

1:29:59 Caller Hey, I got a kind of, something kind of embarrassing. I got a curved penis. And I wondered if there's like any kind of, there's something I could get, like.

1:30:10 Drew Where's the curve, in the middle or at the tip?

1:30:12 Caller It kind of like towards the end, it curves a little to the right.

1:30:16 Drew Cause the very tip, that's a circumcision complication very often.

1:30:19 Adam That doesn't seem like a curve as much. It seems like a jog once it gets out there.

1:30:23 Drew Hockey stick.

1:30:24 Adam Yeah, you got the hockey stick on?

1:30:26 Caller Uh, it's, um, it's decent. It goes out to the right, like about 45 degree angle.

1:30:32 Drew Well, check out, try some vitamin E, about 800 units a day. Sometimes that will help with these things.

1:30:37 Adam Yeah, 45 is pretty steep. You sure it's that steep?

1:30:41 Caller Yeah.

1:30:42 Adam 45 is halfway between straight and your leg.

1:30:45 Drew It's a periscope.

1:30:47 Adam That's not a, that's 90.

1:30:48 Caller That's not steep. Well, it's like a little bit less steep than that, probably, I'd say.

1:30:52 Adam Yeah.

1:30:54 Caller Like a 30 or something like that.

1:30:55 Adam 30 degrees?

1:30:57 Caller Yeah, like something like that.

1:30:58 Adam I'd like to look at that penis.

1:31:00 Drew All right, as long as it's working, it's not painful with erection, you're able to sustain erections.

1:31:04 Caller It's not a painful erection or nothing. I'm just saying, I'm kind of getting into a relationship right now where I don't want for it to be painful for her.

1:31:12 Drew No, no, no, but try vitamin E 800 units a day.

1:31:15 Adam Women, they're really like a truck inner tube in there. You can do whatever you want. You know what I mean? You feel around inside the vagina. You go left, you go right, you go up, you go down. It's a game on. Enjoy is what I'm saying. It's fine. They'll just sort of take your shape, right? Yeah. John?

1:31:40 Caller Yeah.

1:31:40 Adam You're 18?

1:31:42 Caller Yep.

1:31:42 Adam You slept with your step sister?

1:31:45 Caller Actually, I had a question for you.

1:31:46 Drew Is there something in here?

1:31:47 Adam No. Why, you smell fart? I didn't fart. I laugh when I fart.

1:31:50 Drew That's right.

1:31:51 Adam John, you fart?

1:31:52 Caller Yeah.

1:31:53 Drew John, what's up?

1:31:55 Caller About two weeks ago, you had a show where Adam wasn't on, and you were talking about salvia divinorum. A guy called in, you weren't sure what it was.

1:32:04 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:32:06 Caller It's a drug you can order over the Internet. It's not regulated in the US because it doesn't have a very widely used, you know, not a lot of people use it.

1:32:14 Drew Right.

1:32:15 Caller And you can buy it over the Internet from Hawaii or Mexico is where they grow it.

1:32:19 Drew And what is it?

1:32:20 Caller It's a leaf.

1:32:23 Caller You smoke or chew up six to eight of them. And after half an hour, you get effects for about an hour.

1:32:29 Drew What does it do?

1:32:30 Caller Visual effects.

1:32:31 Drew So it's like a hallucinogenic. Yeah.

1:32:33 Caller Interesting.

1:32:34 Drew Do you feel out of it or just visual stuff?

1:32:36 Caller Well, I haven't done it. I've read about it. It's supposed to be all visual.

1:32:39 Drew Interesting.

1:32:40 Adam All right. What's your question, John?

1:32:42 Caller That was it.

1:32:43 Drew I appreciate it, John. Thanks.

1:32:44 Caller Wait just a sec.

1:32:45 Drew Yeah.

1:32:46 Caller You can go Salvia Divinorum on the net. And I'll tell you all about it and how to order it and how much it costs.

1:32:52 Caller The lady that answers the phone, I called in twice and both times she said she couldn't take me.

1:32:57 Caller So.

1:32:57 Drew Okay, John. Well, thanks for the feedback.

1:32:59 Caller No problem.

1:32:59 Caller Bye.

1:33:00 Adam All right. A lot of kids check out that on the Internet. They find themselves some drugs. Yeah. You ever see Pepion?

1:33:07 Drew Yeah.

1:33:08 Adam Put the coca leaf in his mouth, start chewing it.

1:33:12 Drew You got to alkalinize it. You got to get some salt in there, too.

1:33:14 Adam Oh, you do? What would that do? What's it do? You take the coca leaf, put it in your mouth.

1:33:19 Drew You put a little salt in there. That's cocaine alkaloid. That's it.

1:33:21 Adam Really? Yeah. What is coke? Is that the coca leaf dried up, crushed up?

1:33:27 Drew I mean, how they get it out of the leaf, I don't know.

1:33:29 Adam Because it doesn't seem like there's that organic material in there.

1:33:32 Drew It's not like a resin like you can smoke like marijuana.

1:33:35 Adam Right. You ready to take a break?

1:33:38 Drew Yeah.

1:33:38 Adam All right. We'll be back.

1:33:44 Caller We'll be right back with more.

1:33:45 Adam Love Line.

1:34:15 Drew Well, there we go, another Loveline complete. This is Dr. Drew. I'm not going to give you the phone number because the show is over. Tomorrow night, Eve Six, and they will be debuting their CD. Is there any... Has anybody heard this song? Is there a single out or anything? This is it. It's going to be debuted tomorrow night, here on Loveline. And Adam has gone off to go to sleep. He's had a very rough day, you know. He did politically cracked and you know, a guy who lives a tough life. Anyway, on his behalf, this is Dr. Drew saying good night and mahalo. You hit your nuts? Well, now.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, May 16, 2000