Episode 1000754887159

1:50 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:59 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:01 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:04 Voiceover Loveline.

2:05 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number, 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Quite a pus on tonight.

2:19 Adam We've been here for many hours, you and I.

2:21 Drew That's right. We got here about 730.

2:24 Adam Hard to leave at 10 o'clock.

2:25 Drew Did a little hair, a little makeup, a little wardrobe, and did a little promo for the fabulous Frasier show, which is on the television, they tell me. I just, a smart show. Well written, that Frasier. I have no interest in it.

2:41 Adam I like it though. I like it.

2:43 Drew Yeah, it's well written. I just have no interest in it.

2:45 Adam Yeah, I can see that.

2:46 Drew I don't know why. Doesn't feel real.

2:48 Adam Yeah.

2:49 Drew But he has an amazing door on his condominium.

2:53 Adam There we go.

2:54 Drew I love that door.

2:54 Adam And a condominium that even you, a literal, what do you?

2:58 Drew Literally.

2:58 Adam Literally.

2:59 Drew A millionaire.

2:59 Adam He could not afford that condominium. No.

3:01 Drew Not even close. No. That's what I love about TV. All right. We will hop on the phones. No guests tonight, just the love that the two hosts flying between each other. Amanda?

3:12 Yes?

3:12 Drew You're 16?

3:13 Caller Yep.

3:14 Drew What's up?

3:16 Caller Well, I have this, like, obsession with phone sex. Like, I call lines, and I have it a lot. And I was just wondering, like, is that going to mess me up in the head or anything?

3:28 Drew You call phone sex lines? How much are those things a minute?

3:33 Caller For one minute, it's free.

3:34 Adam They come as a sort of party line.

3:35 Drew One minute's a, oh, for women.

3:37 Caller Yeah, it's free.

3:38 Drew Yeah, it was so funny. I was actually sitting around at the Man Show today having a discussion with my partner, the Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, about phone sex as we were writing something on it. And I was perusing one of these magazines. And it is obviously big business because if you look at, pick up a hustler and look at, there's literally hundreds of ads for phone sex in these things. And I was thinking to myself, I wonder if a chick has ever called these. I mean, I know it's happened, but women do not use these things. And then when we do find one that does use one, she goes for free. It's always a ladies' night on the phone sex lines. So you call these party ones in, and will there be more than one guy on the line with you?

4:25 Caller No, what you do is you go through people's bios, which is a little message about themselves. And you pick who you want to talk to and you send messages back and forth, and then you can connect.

4:34 Drew Uh-huh.

4:35 Adam Is it an e-mail thing? Is it a computer hookup?

4:40 Caller I don't, I think so.

4:41 Drew Yeah, but you don't use a computer. How does it work? How many bios might you listen to before you decide on one?

4:47 Adam You listen to the bios, I see, I see.

4:50 Caller Like, you go through all of them, and then you go back and you pick and choose.

4:53 Drew How many bios might you listen to, you idiot, when you phone in?

4:59 Caller Like, 50.

5:00 Drew 50 bios? And they're all 30 seconds long or 20 seconds long?

5:04 Caller 30 seconds long.

5:05 Drew 30 seconds. And what will they say, the kind of guy they are, what they look like?

5:10 Caller Yep.

5:10 Drew And it's all guys you're interested in?

5:13 Caller Usually.

5:14 Drew And then you'll talk to the guy you're most interested in?

5:18 Caller Uh-huh.

5:19 Drew And how do you connect with him?

5:22 Caller You sent a message saying, like, Hello, Sexy, this is Shiloh, and I was just wondering what you want to talk about tonight.

5:28 Adam Shiloh.

5:29 Caller Shiloh.

5:29 Drew Nobody named Gertrude on that line.

5:32 Adam Not even Amanda.

5:34 Drew So, you'll, and then that personal, you'll talk to that person, that person will call you back, or how do you guys hook up?

5:40 Caller The line connects you and you can talk to them.

5:43 Drew I see.

5:44 Adam What are you getting out of this? What does it do for you?

5:46 Caller I don't know. I think I like it when guys talk dirty to me. It excites me.

5:51 Drew You know why?

5:52 Caller Why?

5:53 Drew Because you've been naughty.

5:55 Caller Oh, Adam.

5:56 Drew Yeah. I know how to talk to the ladies, especially the teens. And so do you masturbate?

6:03 Caller No.

6:03 Drew No.

6:04 Caller I mean, I orgasm, but I don't have to touch myself.

6:06 Drew Oh, my God. And I'm supposing the guys are masturbating, right?

6:12 Caller I assume so.

6:13 Drew And do they, it's pretty much just sex talk? And do they get a little dominant with their talk?

6:20 Caller No.

6:21 Drew That's just sex talk?

6:22 Caller Yeah.

6:23 Drew All right. So what happened to you?

6:26 Caller I was molested by my father when I was 12.

6:28 Drew Oh, well, there you go.

6:29 Adam There it is. So this behavior is not going to mess you up. It just sustains what's already been messed up.

6:36 Caller Yeah.

6:36 Drew Right.

6:37 Caller Well, I mean, I've been in counseling.

6:39 Adam This is the thing that becomes stripper next. Right.

6:42 Caller I would never be a stripper.

6:43 Adam I know, but it's that impulse to control man.

6:45 Drew There's a little weight. Who knows? Hey, Amanda, you have to get a little help for what your dad did to you.

6:52 Adam Yeah, she's been in therapy.

6:53 Caller I've been in therapy since it happened.

6:55 Drew I see.

6:55 Adam All right. Just get with it. Talk to the therapist about this behavior.

6:58 Drew What's your therapist say about the phone sex?

7:00 Caller I haven't talked to him about it.

7:02 Adam You don't have to be ashamed of it. Go ahead and talk about it.

7:04 Okay.

7:05 Adam It would be routine kinds of a response to what your history has been.

7:10 Drew Michelle?

7:11 Yeah?

7:11 Drew I wonder if that ever works in. Yeah, baby. I got eight inches of throbbing man meat for you. Were you ever molested by your dad?

7:20 Good, good.

7:21 Drew That means you're extra receptive to my sexual advances. I think that was me.

7:32 Adam Yeah. Who was that?

7:33 Drew Who do I have orgasm with Anderson? Oh, Juliet from Penthouse. That's right. She was a pet of the year, I think. Michelle?

7:42 Yeah.

7:43 Drew You're 16. What's up?

7:44 Caller Yeah.

7:45 I wanted to know. My boyfriend has three piercings on the head of his penis.

7:49 Drew Three?

7:49 Caller Yeah.

7:50 Adam It wasn't okay with just one. He had to get three in there.

7:53 Right.

7:55 Well, him and I want to know what's the best protection for sex.

7:58 Drew You have to use a truck inner tube now with three.

8:01 Adam Are you talking about for protection against pregnancy?

8:04 Well, I tried the pill, but I want something more for diseases and stuff.

8:09 Adam Then condom, obviously. There are specially tipped condoms for the pierced males.

8:16 Drew Well, this guy doesn't harbor any diseases. He only has three penis piercings. I'm sure he's not sexually active.

8:22 Adam She might get tetanus from this guy.

8:24 Well, he has them all himself.

8:26 Adam Oh, that makes it much better.

8:27 Drew Oh, my God.

8:29 Adam That speaks volumes about your boyfriend.

8:32 Drew Michelle, this guy should be institutionalized.

8:35 Adam I mean, this guy's got some...

8:37 Drew What happened to him?

8:38 Adam He's been institutionalized.

8:39 Drew Who held him down and did what to him?

8:42 I don't really know his life story. We don't really go into that.

8:44 Drew Yeah, good. How old is he?

8:46 He's 25.

8:47 Drew 25 and you're 16?

8:50 Caller Yeah.

8:50 Drew Fantabulous. Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.

8:53 Well, at least it's not 40.

8:54 Drew Hey, how much do you hate your dad?

8:57 Caller No, I love my dad.

8:58 Drew You love him? Why do you disgrace him by this, then?

9:01 Caller Why do you want to kill him?

9:02 Caller My dad doesn't know.

9:03 Drew No. Please, he knows. Believe me, he can feel it. Each time that guy takes that earring-laden member and puts it inside of you, he dies just a little bit.

9:14 Caller He doesn't know anything. He hasn't seen me since I was 12.

9:18 Adam I love my dad.

9:18 Drew There we go. You theoretically love him very much. Had you known him, you'd probably love him, right?

9:24 Caller Well, I remember him from when I was a kid.

9:26 Drew All right. Good. Now, everyone's daddy. Fantastic.

9:30 Caller No, it's not really like that.

9:31 Drew Please. You're going out with a 25-year-old with an anchor hanging from the end of his Johnson. Come on, goofball. I guarantee you this guy's a world-class A-hole.

9:41 Adam Oh, yeah.

9:42 Drew He's 25. He's banging on a 16-year-old. He said he has self-induced penis piercings. Come on, Michelle. You know better than that.

9:50 But he's nice to me.

9:52 Drew All right. Listen, you get a dog. For Christ's sake, a dog will be nice to you.

9:57 Caller He's like the first guy that's been nice to me, and we get along really good.

10:01 Drew All right. Yeah, you got plenty not to talk about. Idiot. The guy's an idiot. He's 25. What's he do for a living? Video store?

10:10 Adam No.

10:10 Drew Is he a roadie?

10:11 Caller He doesn't work.

10:12 Drew Okay. If he did work, would he work at a video store?

10:15 Caller No, he says he's an artist.

10:17 Drew Oh, boy. Great. Hey, what does he do for money?

10:21 Caller Well, he has like his grandpa or something left him a bunch of money.

10:25 Drew Fantastic. All right, Michelle, I think you could do better. This guy's a criminal. He is.

10:31 Adam He is a criminal, that's right.

10:32 Drew He's having sex with a minor.

10:33 Caller But isn't statutory rape like only if you're under 14 or something?

10:37 Drew No.

10:37 Adam It depends on the state you're in. What state are you in?

10:39 Caller California.

10:40 Adam This is rape.

10:41 Drew This is rape. This is good old fashioned rape. The kind of rape that your grandpa would talk about back in the day. All right, Michelle, we wish you'd dump him. We hope you don't get pregnant.

10:55 Adam And there are specially equipped condoms you can get from piercing institutions.

10:58 Drew And as far as disease goes, I don't know, this guy is such a jewel. I don't know what he could harbor. All right, Michelle, enjoy your life. There you go. Brandy.

11:10 Yes.

11:10 Drew What's up? You're 25.

11:12 Caller Yes. I wanted to ask you, why, if gum is made up of fructose, which is sugar, why is it salty?

11:20 Drew Who said it was made up of fructose?

11:22 Adam Who told you that?

11:26 Drew Jesus. How much weed do you smoke?

11:30 Adam How much tobacco?

11:32 What's it made up of, then?

11:33 Adam Well, the sperm are protein, right?

11:36 Caller He said it's not made up of fructose.

11:37 Adam Brandy? Yes. The sperm itself is protein. Wait, leave her on here.

11:42 Right?

11:43 Adam The slippery stuff is muco-polysaccharide.

11:46 Caller What the hell?

11:48 Drew Jesus Christ. Hey, Brandy.

11:52 Adam All right.

11:53 Drew Hold on. Let me forget about what's in the sperm.

11:55 Adam Have you ever tasted blood, Brandy?

11:57 Caller Could I ever taste what?

11:58 Adam Have you ever tasted blood? Have you ever licked a little scraper? All right. Doesn't that taste salty?

12:03 Caller No.

12:03 Drew No?

12:04 Caller No.

12:05 Drew All right. Listen, your chain smoking has deadened your taste buds. You don't have any kids, do you?

12:11 Caller Yes, I do.

12:13 Drew How many?

12:14 Caller One.

12:15 Drew Thank God. All right. Where's daddy?

12:18 Caller He's right here.

12:19 Drew Really? Which daddy? Not biological daddy.

12:23 Caller No, it's my daughter's dad.

12:26 Drew Yeah. Your daughter's dad.

12:27 Caller Are you asking where my dad is or where my daughter's dad is?

12:29 Drew Where's your daughter's dad?

12:31 Caller Right here.

12:31 Drew Really?

12:32 Adam Want to talk to him?

12:34 Drew What branch of construction is he in?

12:36 Caller What?

12:38 Drew What's he do for a living?

12:40 Caller He's a street sweeper.

12:41 Drew There you go. Do they have street sweepers anymore? I thought this was a sort of made up job. He drives one of the street cleaners?

12:51 Caller Well, hey, I have a medical book here that says that semen is made of fructose.

12:56 Drew No.

12:56 Adam What is the name of this medical book?

12:58 Caller What's the name of the medical book?

13:00 Drew That's a penthouse forum.

13:01 Adam Yeah, right.

13:02 Caller It's a medical encyclopedia.

13:05 Drew No. It's not fructose.

13:06 Caller He says it's made up of protein.

13:08 Adam Well, it's protein and it's saline. It's like plasma, basically.

13:14 Drew What in your body? You don't have fructose in your body, do you? You don't produce fructose.

13:18 Adam Well, the mucopolysaccharides may have some fructose, but that's it. It's nothing.

13:23 Drew All right. Well, there's some of that in semen.

13:25 Adam Yeah.

13:25 Drew But it's not the body.

13:27 Adam No. No.

13:28 Drew All right. Rob?

13:30 Adam Yeah.

13:31 Drew You're 21.

13:32 Adam Yep.

13:32 Drew What's up?

13:33 My girlfriend has an obsession with biting.

13:36 Drew All right.

13:36 And I was just wondering if that was a problem.

13:39 Drew Where does she bite you?

13:40 Adam She hurts you.

13:41 Everywhere. Anywhere and everywhere.

13:43 Drew Do you not like it?

13:45 Well, at first it's OK, but then she tends to bite real hard and it hurts and it leaves bruises and...

13:52 Drew All right. Can you whack her on the back of the head when she does it?

13:55 Well, yeah.

13:56 Drew All right.

13:57 Adam She'll stop then.

13:58 Drew There you go.

13:58 It doesn't really stop it though.

14:00 Drew Yes, it will. You whack someone hard enough on the back of the head they stop biting you. All right. Tell her you don't like it. Screwball. All right.

14:13 Yes.

14:15 Drew What's up? You're 25.

14:16 Caller Yes. I guess since I was 18, I've had really, well, actually I've had no sex drive, but I do have sex and afterwards I generally don't feel good. I feel like really nauseous and I'll get like, I don't know, just feel gross.

14:31 Adam What can you tell us? It feels gross. Yeah. Help us understand why.

14:34 Drew Where does that come from?

14:36 Where does it go?

14:37 Caller I don't know because it's been since I was 18 and anything, all the traumatic things that have happened to me have happened to me since I was 18, not-

14:46 Drew Not before you're 18?

14:48 Caller I can't know. I mean, just one of the male guys masturbating at me and you know, I mean, that happens to everybody but-

14:53 Adam Sure.

14:54 Drew I had to dodge six guys whacking off on my way into work that night.

14:57 Adam What are you talking about?

14:58 Drew Guys masturbating at you.

15:00 Adam What is that?

15:01 Caller I mean, just random guys exposing them. I mean, I don't know. I've talked to a bunch of my friends and we all have had these similar experiences but nothing that actually was-

15:10 Adam Where do you live?

15:12 Caller This was all over. This was in this country. This was in other countries. In fact, on my 16th birthday, there was a guy masturbating in the woods at the picnic.

15:20 Adam Oh my God.

15:21 Drew Well, that was your grandfather.

15:22 Caller Just two weeks ago, I got a guy arrested for masturbating at me in public.

15:26 Drew Hey, Corey.

15:28 Caller Yes.

15:28 Drew I'd like to meet you. You must be some kind of good-looking.

15:31 Caller No, I don't. I have nothing to do.

15:33 Drew Really?

15:34 Caller I don't think so because one time it was like we were on a bus and we went to a soccer game. We look out in the moon and the guy in the sunroof looked grinning up at us. No, it's just like this recurring event in my life, but I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that I get nauseous after I have sex.

15:51 Drew Well, okay. Let's explore your past a little bit then. Okay. So, what happened? Anything bad happened to you besides everyone jacking off around you?

16:01 Caller No, I can't. That's the thing.

16:03 Drew Hold on, Drew. I'm going to squeeze one off. I'm going to go wild there. Corrie brought it out. Corrie, just keep talking, baby. Let me open the sunroof. Yeah, nothing happened. You love your dad. No one ever raped you?

16:16 Caller No. Nothing. Well, no. I mean, I was sexually assaulted like three years ago, but that was after. I mean, that was after. I mean, this is after.

16:25 Drew What happened with the sexual assault? And why are you such a semen magnet?

16:28 Adam Such a victim, yeah.

16:29 Caller I don't know. I just.

16:31 Drew What happened with the sexual assault?

16:35 Caller That was out of this country. I was in the Peace Corps and it just, my neighbor assaulted me and it took me a long time to kind of get over that.

16:43 Adam Have you go through long periods of time where you were super, super up and weren't sleeping a lot and really upbeat, and then all of a sudden came on a downswing?

16:50 Caller Well, after I left Peace Corps, they diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder.

16:56 Adam From what? From what?

16:57 Drew From the rape?

16:59 Caller Yeah, from that and just the whole experience of Peace Corps. But that-

17:03 Drew Jesus. What's so disturbing about Peace Corps?

17:07 Caller Oh, I don't mind. Just my particular experience ended up being kind of rough.

17:12 Drew Because of the rape?

17:13 Caller No, partially because of that and I was continually robbed. And it was just- I just had extreme culture shock, I think, is what it was.

17:25 Drew Where'd you go?

17:26 Caller I was in the Dominican Republic.

17:27 Drew Well, there you go.

17:28 Please.

17:29 Caller But now I'm looking, you know, in retrospect, I had a really good time. But- But the real-

17:34 Drew Well, I'd want to go to like Cannes or somewhere in- somewhere in-

17:39 Adam Portofino.

17:39 Drew Western Europe, perhaps, yeah. Somewhere with a lovely Milan or something like that. Do they have any Peace Corps there? Here's the Catch-22 of Peace Corps. You got to go to places where they need you.

17:52 Caller Yeah, exactly.

17:53 Drew And sometimes when people need you, they really need you. They need you to hold still so they can rape you, they need to rob you, they need you.

18:01 Caller No, no.

18:01 Caller No, I think that-

18:03 Caller I mean, all of these issues were before that. I mean, I went into- Okay.

18:08 Drew Why did you go into the Peace Corps?

18:12 Caller Because I wanted to travel.

18:14 Drew Okay. Where's your dad? Do you love him?

18:15 Adam I don't believe you. Why did you join the Peace Corps?

18:17 Yeah.

18:20 Caller Well, I have a degree in biology and there just wasn't a job market for biology.

18:24 Drew Okay.

18:24 Caller So, I mean, it was down the street.

18:25 Drew Fine. Do you love your dad?

18:27 Caller I do love my dad, yeah.

18:29 Drew He was good to you?

18:31 Caller He wasn't really around. He was around every other weekend.

18:35 Drew I see.

18:35 Caller But he's a minimally functional alcoholic.

18:39 Drew Okay.

18:41 Caller I mean, he was a good dad other than that.

18:43 Adam Is it possible he did something to you? You just don't remember it?

18:46 Caller I don't think so. I mean, I've been racking my brain. No, I mean, he's always been a really... I mean, despite the alcohol, he's been a really affectionate and he's always been really supportive. My mom as well.

19:01 Adam But there's no telling what he might have done one time when he was really intoxicated.

19:05 Drew Here's how he's supporting. I'm going to the Dominican Republic to get raped. All right.

19:10 Adam Enjoy.

19:10 Drew Enjoy. I don't know, Corey. I don't know. You got to talk to a psychiatrist or a psychologist to try to get to the bottom of this. You're getting physically ill by sex. That usually means...

19:22 Adam Something.

19:23 Drew I mean, here's what I would guess.

19:25 Adam She needs to be looked at gynecologically first. I'm sure that's something triggering that.

19:29 Drew Anybody who has a physical reaction to sex that way, especially a woman getting ill, I would assume that somebody did something to her when she was three years old and she doesn't remember it.

19:39 Adam And then she has no libido at all, she says.

19:41 Drew Right. Brian?

19:43 Caller Yeah?

19:44 Drew You're 29 years old.

19:46 Caller Uh-huh.

19:46 Drew What's up?

19:48 Caller I just want to know, how do you tell if you're sexual compulsive or not?

19:52 Adam If you can't stop doing things you want to stop doing.

19:54 Caller Like masturbating?

19:56 Adam That's one of them things.

19:57 Caller Yeah.

19:58 Drew What are you good for a day?

20:00 Caller Two to three times.

20:01 Caller Yeah.

20:02 Drew Not bad.

20:02 Caller Yeah.

20:03 Drew I don't want to call that too much of a problem.

20:06 Caller Yeah.

20:06 Drew That's a little light. You like to be doing it more, is that what you're saying?

20:10 Caller Not really.

20:12 Drew What are you masturbating to?

20:15 Caller I don't know. Just girls having sex, pornography again.

20:18 Drew Let me write this. What's the last word? Sex? Sex. Yeah.

20:27 Caller I guess I got kind of a fetish.

20:28 Drew Got to try that.

20:29 Adam Fetish about what?

20:31 Caller Well, I guess what I fancied about it is mostly oral sex.

20:34 Drew Yeah. Oral sex. Right? Keep going. Yeah. Nothing wrong with oral sex.

20:45 Caller Yeah.

20:45 Drew Unless you're fanciing about performing it on someone else and you got a real problem.

20:50 Adam Are you a virgin? No. Are you a virgin?

20:51 Caller No.

20:52 Adam He's 29.

20:54 Drew How many gals have you been with?

20:56 Caller Four.

20:57 Drew Four?

20:59 Caller I've never had a girlfriend though before.

21:01 Drew Yeah. Are you a little, what girls call creepy?

21:07 That's the impression I get.

21:09 Drew Yeah. You kind of weird them out a little?

21:12 Caller Yeah. That's about right.

21:13 Drew You scare them off?

21:14 Caller Yeah.

21:14 Caller I'm a good looking guy.

21:16 Drew Are you?

21:16 Caller Yeah. But then when I talk to them, they get scared off by me. Yeah.

21:21 Drew I got to be honest with you, Brian. There's a lot of guys who are good looking, I mean, physically, everything's in place. They're not fat. They're tall. They have pretty solid features. Don't get an ounce of tail. Because women aren't, they're not mature that way, whereas men are. We see a good looking, I mean, you know what I mean? Drew, hold on for a second. That is the catch of a lifetime for us. Some chick, no, yeah, right.

21:51 Adam An easy pickin.

21:52 Drew Tall female with a nice body who has good bone structure. She's attractive and everything. And just a little nutty, ego damage, low self-esteem. How many guys would be on top of that? Girls, they see a guy like Brian, they see he's like, you know, attractive. Maybe they come across the bar and it's like, uh-uh, that's it, I'm getting out of here. Yeah, he's giving me the creeps. I'm just looking at his eyes. I'm not going home with him. He's gonna kill me. I mean, think about it. Women gotta worry about that. That's why women are attracted. That's actually why, this is my whole theory about women, why celebrities get so much tail, except for me and you. Jesus Christ. Here's why. Because they think they know you and you're safe.

22:38 Adam Right.

22:39 Drew If they know you, he's a good guy. Seen him on TV. I've seen him interact, he's funny, he's whatever. He's got some money. Fine. He's good. He's safe. Brian, I go home, he's going to cut me. He's going to take a beer bottle and bust it over the refrigerator and cut my throat with it. And bury me in the underpinning of the house. Brian? Yeah? You ever buried someone in the underpinning of a house? No. I bet you liked it. All right. So, Brian, listen. What's up with you? We got to get you to act normal, so chicks dig you.

23:12 I guess I just get kind of panicky.

23:14 Drew Right.

23:14 I'm anxious.

23:15 Adam What do you do for a living?

23:17 Caller Well, I work night time security guard and I go to college in the daytime.

23:20 I don't sleep much.

23:22 Drew I see. Hey, Brian, you know what you got to do? Here's your key to chicks. Okay. A, don't talk too much. You'll give yourself away immediately. B, find a bunch of stuff that turns you on and do it and they'll find you. I know it sounds cliche. I mean, you're going to have to pursue them a little bit.

23:41 Adam Sexual compulsive, you better clarify what you mean by things that turn you on.

23:44 Drew Yeah, I know whacking is a hobby. You can't turn it into a career. But what I'm saying is, is you got to participate in life. Like, what are your hobbies? You like music?

23:53 Caller Music, reading, sports.

23:56 Adam All right.

23:56 Drew Go to the college, sign up for everything you can sign up for that has nothing to do with that college, and just get your life going. You know what's weird, though, about women? Women, a lot of them, are attracted to weird guys, artsy weird guys.

24:12 Adam Oh, yeah.

24:13 Drew But not weird weird guys.

24:14 Adam Right, right. Mystery guys.

24:16 Drew Artsy weird guys are really either one of two guys. Nerds or homos, who have cultivated the artsy thing. You know what I mean? And women are so stupid, they buy right into it.

24:28 Adam It's mystery.

24:29 Drew Yeah, but listen, all you dumb broads out there that are into the artsy guys, you know what these guys are? They're the guys whose ass I used to kick in high school, who almost went gay, but now they've went artsy. They shave their head, they grow a goatee, they sulk a little bit. They don't drive a new car, they drive like a 66 Falcon or something. They cultivate some look. Wear some boots with a buckle on it or something, and a leather jacket. Sometimes they go for that like rockabilly look or something. They cultivate a look, and you idiots buy right into it. But these guys are just, they're just the wusses from the past cultivating a new look. And they're just as weird as guys like Brian, but they're not weird weird, they're wussy weird. So, what have we learned, Drew?

25:14 Adam I'm not sure we learned anything.

25:15 Drew I don't know.

25:15 Adam That women are different.

25:16 Drew That's right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Willie. Willie's 21. He passes out when girlfriend gives him oral sex. Wants to know if that's normal. All right.

26:05 Adam Want to share that story?

26:06 Drew Yeah, I think I will. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. As I said at the top of the show, Drew and myself did a promo for Frasier, the new, I don't know, and we're glad to do it. They treated us right. Everything was fine. We're sitting around between takes, and we're saying, talking about the different cast members on Frasier, and somebody said, I think it was me, what's the name of the actor who plays Frasier's dad, the retired cop, walks with a limp, got shot in the hip. He's Frasier, Niles' dad. He's in every episode, sits on that old chair. What is the name of that actor? He's been in a hundred movies. I've seen him a thousand times. Can't remember the guy's name. I'm thinking to myself, this is like an Irish name or something.

26:49 Adam We went around about it, around, around, around.

26:50 Drew We went around about it, and the guys who were in, from Frasier, who were a little bit embarrassed, they couldn't remember the guy's name because that's where they work.

26:59 Adam They're from NBC.

27:00 Drew They're from NBC. And they sort of knew it, but it sort of escaped them. Everyone said, what is this guy's name? I can't remember. They were embarrassed about it. So everyone forgot about it. We kept filming. Half hour later, I got a big package sent to me, and told my assistant to go open it out in the parking lot because- Might blow up. You see this face, Drew? That's the cash register, buddy. I don't need a rusty finish nail in it. You know what I'm saying? The point is, in that was a note, a bottle of wine, an issue of Bear Magazine for the big, fat, hairy gay men who like to love each other too much, which I find repugnant. But that and a lovely note along with the bottle of wine, which is from, and I'll give the guy the plug because why not? He sent me a bottle of booze. Anyway, he works for a place, www.winabatchelorparty.com. I have no idea what it is, but apparently you can win a bachelor party on winabatchelorparty.com.

28:05 Adam Make sure you log on to drdrew.com.

28:07 Drew No, don't worry about that.

28:07 Adam Should you log on to that one?

28:09 Drew Win a bachelor party. The point is, I was reading down the letter, it was a very nice letter, said they love the show and all that kind of stuff, and then said, respectfully yours, John Mahoney. And I thought to myself, John Mahoney, wait a minute, remember that name of the actor we're trying to figure out an hour earlier and everyone was racking their brains? His name was John Mahoney. That's the actor's name. And I checked it with Anderson, who knows about these things, and I don't know, Ann knew it, or somebody in there knew it. The point is, is the name of the actor's name, we couldn't figure out, John Mahoney, on the card that was sent to me earlier.

28:49 Adam Crap like that happens to you all the time.

28:51 Drew How often is it that you're straining for a name? Pow, there's the name. Isn't that weird? That is bizarre. One other quick weird one with a name, and then we'll get right back to it. I said, I saw a picture, I was at my friend Mark Drotman's house, he showed me a picture. Showed me a picture of a woman and a guy, woman with the arm around the guy. And I said, this woman, she looks just like Janis Joplin. And he said, well, believe me, she's no Janis Joplin. And I pointed to the guy who's next door with the arm around her and I said, and he's no Bobby McGee. Because that was Janis Joplin's biggest song was Mean Bobby McGee. Name of the guy who I pointed at? Bobby McGee. How often do you point at a picture of a stranger who you've never seen before and give his first and last name?

29:44 Adam What did your friend say? He was like, no, no, actually.

29:46 Drew Actually, his name is Bobby McGee. I said he was no Bobby McGee, but as it turns out, Bobby McGee was the guy's name. All right. So here we go. Any other names we can't think of? Maybe we'll get another bottle of wine. We'll get a letter with his name on it. Willie?

30:01 Caller Yeah.

30:01 Drew Year 21. What's up? Yeah.

30:03 Caller When my girlfriend gives me head, I'm going to pass out.

30:08 Drew Right.

30:08 Adam You actually pass out?

30:09 Caller Yes.

30:10 Adam Are you standing up?

30:12 Caller No. She don't like it that way.

30:14 Drew She don't like it that way?

30:15 Caller Yeah. She feels uncomfortable.

30:17 Adam If you're standing up?

30:18 Caller Yeah.

30:19 Adam You're lying down?

30:20 Caller Yeah.

30:20 Drew Are you jumping up and down or are you just holding still when you stand up?

30:23 Caller No. We tried it once. She didn't like it.

30:27 Adam You're lying down and you suddenly lose consciousness?

30:30 Caller Yeah.

30:31 Drew She's sucking the life right out of you.

30:34 Adam Do you have any medical problems?

30:35 No.

30:36 Adam Do you take any medications?

30:37 No.

30:37 Adam Anything like this ever happened to you before in any other context?

30:42 Caller No. Not really.

30:42 Caller I mean, I drink too.

30:45 Caller When I even drink, I pass out.

30:49 Adam That would be yes, then. This happens in other...

30:51 Caller Yeah.

30:52 Adam Do you want to recreate that?

30:53 Drew The Loveline recreation? Go ahead.

30:56 Adam Does this ever happen to you in any other context?

30:59 Drew No. No. No. I do drink. No. And I pass out.

31:04 Adam While I drink, I pass out.

31:07 Drew All right. So, Willie?

31:08 Caller Yeah.

31:08 Drew Maybe it does happen to you in other times, like when you're drinking, right?

31:11 Caller Well, it also happens to me when I'm not drinking.

31:16 Adam So, when else does it happen to you?

31:19 Caller That's about it.

31:20 Adam It happens to you just when you're having oral sex.

31:22 Drew Oh, wait. You say it also happens when you're not drinking.

31:25 Caller Yeah.

31:25 Drew That's when you're getting oral sex.

31:27 Caller Yeah.

31:28 Drew And no other time?

31:29 Caller No.

31:30 Drew Okay. Hold on. Okay, Willie?

31:32 Yeah.

31:33 Drew I got to put you on hold for like 40 minutes.

31:35 Okay?

31:36 Drew It's important to punish the fools. Please. This guy's like the goddamn Riddler. Oh, no. It happens other times. When? When I'm getting oral sex. I know. That's what we're... Idiot. And I hope he passes out.

31:51 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew and Adam.

31:52 Drew Hey, you're 19. What's up, Chipper?

31:54 Caller I love you guys.

31:56 Drew Well, we love you too.

31:57 Caller I love you, Adam. You're great.

31:59 Adam Really?

31:59 Caller I saw you at Centennial Hall in Tucson when you came to the U of A.

32:03 Adam Oh, yeah. That was fun. Yeah.

32:05 Caller I got the tickets kind of late, so I was way the hell out in the back.

32:08 Adam It wasn't that big. It wasn't such a big room that you couldn't, you know. It was a pretty big part of it.

32:12 Drew A couple thousand people.

32:13 Adam Yeah.

32:14 Drew It's a nice place. I had a good time over there.

32:16 Caller Yeah, you should come back. This time I'll get better tickets.

32:19 Drew Not that good a time.

32:21 Adam They could invite us back. We'd come.

32:22 Drew Yeah. Drew would.

32:23 Adam You'd come too, would you? That was fun.

32:26 Drew Listen, Drew, if a parking meter opened up and some nickels fell out, you'd get on the next plane, you idiot. Please. What do you want, Ann?

32:34 Caller Well, I was just calling for some advice about my boyfriend.

32:39 Adam We're listening.

32:40 Caller Okay. Well, he doesn't really live with me, but when he's in town, he stays with me, but he travels a lot, and he travels for his work. So I was just wondering if it'd be worth it to stay with him since he's never in town.

32:53 Adam How old is he?

32:54 Caller He's 24.

32:56 Adam How often is he actually in town?

32:58 Caller Well, he's in town on average probably like two weeks out of the month.

33:02 Adam Half the time, he's in town.

33:03 Drew That's fine. You don't like him that much though.

33:06 Adam Well, no, no.

33:06 Caller I really do love him.

33:07 Drew All right. Well, you really love him?

33:10 Adam He doesn't like her that much.

33:11 Caller Well, no, he does. It's just that he's keeping the job so he can save up money, so he can move here and get his own place and get a real job.

33:18 Adam All right.

33:18 Drew So why would you even dream of breaking up with him?

33:22 Caller It's just that it's taking so long and he's trying to save the money. It's just that it's not in his face.

33:26 Drew Well, how often do you need to see a guy?

33:27 Caller Well, I really care for him and I miss him a lot.

33:30 Drew All right. You'd miss him more if you broke up, wouldn't you?

33:33 Caller Yeah.

33:34 Adam He's there half the time.

33:35 Drew Yeah.

33:35 Caller He's only here like maybe like one or two weeks tops out of the month.

33:39 Drew All right. That's still enough.

33:40 Caller And the phone bills are killing us.

33:41 Adam You know what? In 19, you can imagine that would be pretty frustrating.

33:44 Drew I'm going to light a fire.

33:45 Adam Hold on.

33:46 Caller Oh, Adam?

33:47 Drew Yeah. Wait a minute.

33:49 Adam I've got to light the light.

33:49 Drew Drew, get the light.

33:51 Adam Hold on.

33:51 Drew Hold on there, man. I've got to light a fire. I've got something coming on. Jesus, I'm going to hurt myself. I almost burned my ass off. Jesus. I got nothing. I'm sorry. I'm going to get something going later on. I was trying to light a fire, Dan. Well. Yeah.

34:13 Adam He almost lit himself on fire.

34:14 Drew Yeah.

34:15 Caller Are you trying to light it with a lighter?

34:16 Adam With a match.

34:17 Drew No, I got a match. I'm old school.

34:19 Adam He literally almost caught himself.

34:21 Drew No, please.

34:22 I think that works. I think my brother lit his ass on fire.

34:24 Drew No. Wives tales. Hey, listen, Ann, you're very much in love with him. He loves you. He's in town a couple of weeks out of the month. He's saving up money so he can move in and live there full time.

34:36 Caller Well, he's saving money.

34:38 Drew All right. Break up with him. Break up tomorrow. There you go. What am I supposed to do? Do I argue with her?

34:49 Adam No.

34:50 Drew She says how much she loves the guy.

34:52 Adam At 19, you got to put it in that perspective. She's immature. She's not really...

34:55 Drew I understand, but the guy's in town a couple of weeks out of the month.

34:59 Adam But in 19-year-old years, three weeks away, what do they do?

35:03 Drew Nobody is planning on moving back.

35:06 Adam She can't abstract that way. She can't plan like 19-year-olds. It's now. That's all that exists for them, right?

35:11 Drew How insecure do you got to be? Claudia? Claudia?

35:15 Caller Yeah.

35:16 Drew You're 15.

35:17 Caller Yeah.

35:18 Drew What's up? You didn't mean to interrupt.

35:21 Caller Oh. Well, the thing is, I was sexually molested when I was young, about six years old.

35:29 Adam We got it. We picked up on it.

35:31 Drew Yeah.

35:32 Caller Okay. And the thing is, I've had sexual contact with all three of my male cousins. And not exactly sex, but like oral and everything. And now my one Pacific cousin, we've done things, you know, and now I sort of have feelings toward him. And I feel that I love him now. Because, I mean, we've been for a long time. He's my age, though.

35:58 I mean.

35:59 Caller Yeah.

36:01 Caller I was wondering, is that because of what happened to me before, or what?

36:05 Adam The whole situation developed because of what happened to you before.

36:10 Drew What happened to you originally?

36:14 Caller Well, what do you mean when I was growing up?

36:16 Adam Who was that?

36:17 Caller He was the first cousin.

36:19 Drew Wow, what the?

36:20 Caller And so were the rest of them.

36:21 Drew Okay, hold on, though. But you were with all three cousins, right?

36:26 Caller Yeah.

36:26 Adam And then another cousin was the one that abused you?

36:28 Drew Or was it one of those three?

36:30 Caller The first one, he was like seven years older than me. So, and then the other one was like two years younger than me.

36:38 Drew And how old were you with him?

36:41 Caller The other one, my oldest cousin, I was six.

36:46 Drew You were six, and he was like 13.

36:51 Caller Yeah.

36:51 Drew And he...

36:52 Caller It still went on. It's still been going on now.

36:56 Adam With him?

36:56 Caller Yeah, whenever he comes back, because he goes away for the summer and comes back. He's like got this power over me, like I... You know, I tell him, like, no, but it's like I can't resist.

37:07 Adam That is the strangest part of humans right there.

37:09 Drew And wait a minute, the oldest one is 22 now?

37:13 Caller He's 21.

37:14 Adam The one has been getting her since she was six.

37:18 Drew These are... Whose side of the family is this?

37:21 Caller It's all on my dad's side.

37:23 Drew All on your dad's?

37:24 Yeah.

37:25 Adam Lock in coordinates.

37:26 Drew How's dad doing?

37:28 Caller Oh, my dad's fine. He doesn't know anything about this.

37:31 Adam Yeah, but hold on a second.

37:32 Drew Hold on a second. You're right, Drew. I haven't done this in a while, but I hate to have to do this, but it really... Sometimes a few innocent must die.

37:41 Adam Let's get Claudia out.

37:42 Drew I've got a fix on her coordinates. I've just called in a strike. We're taking out the whole block. That's the only way I can see to get rid of this problem. My too many cousins, too much counseling, too many resources at this point. God knows how many victims have spun off of this. I'm just going to call in a strike. You see the footage of Vietnam where they dropped those napalm bombs. Just once they hit the ground, boom, it's like they threw a tanker at about 500 miles an hour, just hits and just a mile long row of fire going right down the middle of the street. That's what I'm looking for here. Let's see if I can... So in fact, there are these coordinates just a little bit more. Claudia?

38:21 Caller Yeah.

38:22 Drew I'm going to need you to wrap yourself in wet towels and climb under the bed, honey. This ain't going to be pretty.

38:29 Caller Okay.

38:29 Drew All right. So this is on your dad's side. And these are all the cousins. What about their dad?

38:40 Caller Well...

38:40 Drew Your dad's brother or sister?

38:43 Caller Well, mostly it's his sister's. And well, one of them is his sister's because there's a young one and all the ones have their brothers.

38:51 Adam Where are we going with this? Hold on.

38:53 Caller Good.

38:54 Drew See what happens when you have boys?

38:55 Adam Yeah.

38:56 Drew Women just become porn stars and strippers. Guys do the raping.

38:59 Caller The other two are brothers.

39:01 Adam All right.

39:01 Drew Where are we going with this? Hey, Claudia?

39:03 Caller Yeah.

39:03 Drew You got to get some counseling. You got to get some help. Slow down on this. You have to stop with these guys.

39:09 Adam Can you tell your parents what's happening here?

39:11 Caller No. They don't know.

39:12 Adam Could you tell them?

39:13 Caller Could I?

39:14 Caller Yeah.

39:15 Caller No, I can't, but I was walked in on one of the younger ones. He's like two years younger than me.

39:22 Drew He's 13 and he's getting with you?

39:25 Caller Yeah. His mom walked in on us, but nobody, his mom and his dad knows. But that's it.

39:30 Adam Well, why don't you talk to his mom and dad about it.

39:32 Drew What are the ages of all the cousins? You got 21, 13 and?

39:37 Caller 21, 13, and 16.

39:39 Drew Oh, boy. Oh, baby. I'm sorry, Claudia. Listen, honey, you got to stop though. You got to stop. You're digging yourself in deeper. Each time they take just a little piece out of you. They take a little chunk out of you every time you're with one of these guys. Yeah.

39:57 Caller Well, me and the older one aren't talking anymore.

40:00 Drew Which one are you in love with? The 16-year-old?

40:02 Caller Yeah.

40:03 Adam But you're not.

40:04 Drew Oh, boy.

40:05 Caller I have really strong feelings.

40:07 Drew I know, but you don't know what your feelings are because somebody did something to your feelings. You know what I mean?

40:13 Caller Yeah.

40:14 Drew Claudia, listen to me. I swear this is a horrible situation you're in and if you had more distance from it, and God willing, one day you will, you'll look back and realize just how effed up it was and you'll have anger toward your parents and the cousins and everybody but me and Drew. Even Drew, you should be pissed off. But listen, Claudia, you can't have sex with any of these guys anymore. Do you understand?

40:38 Caller I haven't had sex with them but I've done like oral.

40:40 Adam Good.

40:40 Drew Don't do oral. Don't do anything with them.

40:43 Adam And I still consider that sex, believe it or not.

40:46 Drew Yeah.

40:46 Adam Well, call us old fast.

40:47 Drew Yeah. Believe me, when I was growing up, they considered that sex. Oh, yes, they consider oral sex sex. They had sex right in it. What do you mean, everyone? Aha.

40:55 Adam There you go.

40:56 Drew They tried to sidestep by calling it oral. Listen, it's called oral sex. Second word, sex. All right. Oh, Claudia, I swear to God. Oh, these parents. What the hell is going on here?

41:10 Adam They didn't do anything about it. They just let it go.

41:12 Drew Oh, you got your. Well, what kind of three sons are you raising when they're basically raping their younger cousin? Oh, my God. I mean, I blew my cousin Greg. There's a handful of times, but it stopped.

41:24 Adam Well, nobody walked in.

41:25 Drew No, that's right. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. I'm going to go get disgusted at my own image in the mirror. Drew, I suggest you do the same.

41:36 Adam Okay.

41:36 Drew We'll be back after this.

41:42 We'll be right back with more Love Line.

42:13 Drew Yep, yep, it's the Love of the Line. I'm Adam Corolla, this is David Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Let's talk to Tina, who sees a ghost of her dead grandma. Great. Let's see. All right, here's what I'm guessing. Let's try to guess where Tina's from.

42:34 Adam New Orleans.

42:37 Drew Are we in New Orleans?

42:38 Adam I don't think so.

42:39 Drew Okay. Can't be from New Orleans, Drew. Tina?

42:43 Adam Yeah.

42:43 Drew Where are you from? You're not from Southern California, are you?

42:46 Best Of No, I'm from Oregon.

42:47 Drew Oregon.

42:48 Best Of Yeah. Okay. This sounds a little weird, but I lived with my grandma for like six years. Then in 1996, she died. For some, I don't know why, but for some reason, even today there's some songs I can't listen to because it reminds me ever. Then I get flashbacks of things that I've done with her, like if they just happened.

43:15 Drew I see. All right. Well, let's see. How old were you when you moved in with her?

43:20 Best Of I was like almost about 16.

43:23 Adam Well, this is somebody who felt very intensely about it, and you're having difficulty dealing with the loss. That's something that some people's brain do.

43:31 Drew What year did she die?

43:33 Best Of 96.

43:35 Adam Some people, when they lose an important person, will actually believe they've seen them and had conversations with them, and it can be a specific experience that doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you other than you're really struggling with this loss.

43:51 Drew Why? The math isn't working out for me. You lived there for six years.

43:56 Adam To 22.

43:58 Drew To age 22, to die four years ago. Yeah?

44:03 Best Of Well, maybe my math messed up, but she met the most to me.

44:07 Drew Well, hold on. You lived with her for six years. Is that true?

44:11 Best Of Around that. I don't know the exact yearling.

44:14 Adam Whatever. Don't try to forget it.

44:17 Drew Sorry about that. I don't know what upset you. Hey, Tina? You on any medication? Should you be on some?

44:25 Best Of Not that I know of.

44:26 Drew Are you pretty depressed? Something's up. Why did you move in with your grandma at 16? That's a bad sign.

44:33 Best Of Well, I've had quite a rough life.

44:35 Drew Ah, yes.

44:36 Adam We picked up on that.

44:37 Drew What is that on? What happened to you?

44:39 Best Of I was beat when I was younger by my parents. I was molested by my stepfather.

44:47 I went to foster home after foster home.

44:49 Adam Well, Tina, it's natural enough that...

44:51 Drew Tina, that's where more of the pain is, I think, than grandma.

44:54 Adam But it's also where the biology of the brain can't adjust to overwhelming loss. It can so traumatize it, it just sort of fills in. You know, where it can't deal with the reality of the loss. It just gives you an experience as though you just had it with grandma. It lets you see her. Right. It just weighs... The brain is an interesting thing. It does. When it feels threatened and overwhelmed, it just fills in. It just puts something in there to help you feel less overwhelmed. A defense or something.

45:20 Drew All right. Here's the point, you know. Whatever feelings, flashbacks you have with grandma are neither here nor there right now. You have bigger fish to fry emotionally. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, abandonment, all that good stuff. Read a book, talk to a therapist, get in a support group, do whatever you got to do. And I bet some of the feelings of grandma will clear up too. Nancy?

45:44 Caller Hi.

45:44 Drew Hey, you're 19. What's up?

45:46 Caller Hi. I'm married and my husband masturbates and I just wanted to know.

45:51 Adam Oh my God, what a deviant.

45:53 Drew Well, you leave that at the altar. How many times a week does he masturbate, you think?

46:00 Caller I don't know.

46:01 Caller I think probably once a week.

46:03 Adam You were going to say a day.

46:05 Drew I was about to. Yeah. I realize you may not know the answer to that.

46:07 Adam You also didn't want to freak her out too much.

46:10 Drew You're going with once a week?

46:11 Caller Yeah, I think so.

46:12 Drew How old is he?

46:14 Caller He's 20.

46:16 Drew He may have a brain tumor. Once a week is pretty light for a 20 year old.

46:20 Caller Well, I mean, I realize that masturbating is a natural thing.

46:24 Drew Right, but you still can't help being freaked out about it?

46:26 Caller Well, I don't like it and I told him that I don't like it and that I didn't want him to do it.

46:31 Drew All right, hold on a second. What's up with Nancy? Weird, some control stuff going on.

46:37 Adam Men freak her out.

46:38 Drew Somebody did, you know? I mean, there hasn't been a woman who's called the show tonight that hasn't had something done, but something got weird. I'm not saying like just molestation, but something, something. Nancy? Yeah? What's up with you?

46:53 Caller What's up with me?

46:53 Drew Yeah, what's up with you?

46:55 Caller I don't know.

46:56 Drew Why are you so against this? Why is it so threatening to you?

46:59 Caller Well, it makes me feel like less of a person.

47:02 Why?

47:04 Caller Because I do what I can, you know, I...

47:07 Drew All right. But what happened? Who made you feel not good about yourself?

47:12 Caller I don't know. I mean, I've always been a pretty strong person.

47:15 Drew I know. But I'm not talking about strength. I'm talking about, or even character. I'm talking about who made you feel like you should be threatened by this sort of stuff.

47:25 Adam The men were difficult.

47:26 Drew All right. Where's your dad?

47:28 Caller I don't know my dad.

47:29 Drew Now we're getting warm. Step dads?

47:32 Caller Yeah.

47:33 Drew Yeah. What kind of guys were they?

47:35 Caller One step father. He was an alcoholic.

47:38 Adam How many did you have?

47:40 Drew Just one.

47:40 Adam Oh.

47:42 Drew Drew's a robot. He can't tell voice inflection. He only reads it. Like when you're at the bank and they have that electronic news going by. That's how Drew hears people. One bank. One step father. See, he doesn't know if that's one step father was an alcoholic. He doesn't know the difference between that and one step father. See, he's a robot. One step father. So he was an alcoholic. He never knew you were real, then.

48:09 Caller Yeah.

48:09 Drew There you go.

48:09 Caller He was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

48:12 Drew There you have it.

48:12 Adam Something happened there.

48:13 Drew Okay. Stop taking it out on your husband, Nancy. These are your issues. The poor guy scared to death. This is you, baby.

48:21 Caller Is that normal?

48:22 Drew This is you. Normal. It's all you.

48:26 Adam She picked him, though. Well, something about him, though, right?

48:29 Drew He was a virgin when he met her, it says up here. Nancy, these are your unresolved issues. Now, let's see. If you wake up and the guy's whacking off on you, then that's his problem and call us back. If he's squeezing one a week off and he's shivering, he's cowering in the corner running the tub while he's doing it because he's scared what you're going to find out, this is your issue, baby. I knew it was this. All right? This has to do with dad and stepdad. So what should I do? It's not your fault. It's just your issue. You got to get some help. It has nothing to do with him masturbating. Zero.

49:05 Adam Yep. Okay. That's true. You're just getting hostile again.

49:09 Drew All right. Whatever. It's your life. I'm telling you what the truth is. You want to lead your life. You want to lead a lie. You want to chase your husband around for whacking off and spend the lion's share of your energy doing that? Be my guest.

49:21 No.

49:22 Drew All right. You want to get to the bottom of it? You want to get to the truth? You got to get a little therapy.

49:26 Okay.

49:27 Drew All right. All right. We'll take a break.

49:29 Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191, back in a minute.

49:33 Drew Well, it's worth hearing. Yep, we're back. All right. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And let's hop back on the phones and speak to Andrew. Andrew's 15. Andrew?

50:30 Caller Yeah.

50:31 Drew What's up?

50:32 Caller My girlfriend, she asked me if she wanted to give me a BJ. I said, yeah, but I don't know if that's taking a risk. She got the braces.

50:40 Caller Yeah.

50:40 Drew Well, it's a risk me and my penis would be willing to take at 15.

50:45 Adam At 15 only?

50:46 Drew Yeah. 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. Up until, how old am I, 35? Still 35. Yeah. Yeah. How old is she?

50:56 Caller 15.

50:57 Drew I see. And so what did you tell her? You'd have to sleep on it?

51:01 Caller No. I told her to kick back. I was worried about her. Wow. I asked her. I ate her out and so. That's nice.

51:09 Adam Andrew, the gentleman.

51:12 Caller I don't know. I changed the subject really, really fast.

51:15 Drew I see. Andrew, when you kiss her, do the braces get in the way?

51:22 Caller Sometimes, they will cut my lip.

51:24 Drew Wow. I'll tell you what. Well, it doesn't sound like you're ready for this. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like more than the braces.

51:36 Caller What?

51:37 Drew Yeah.

51:37 Adam Have you had this done to you before?

51:39 Caller Yeah.

51:40 Drew Outside of the family?

51:41 Caller No.

51:42 Drew Yeah. I see. You have?

51:45 Caller Yeah. I don't know because I've asked people that she was with. If it's just me that was macking her wrong or something, because that hasn't happened before.

51:58 Adam Are you following him?

51:59 Drew No. Andrew, are you stoned?

52:02 Caller A little bit.

52:03 Drew A little bit stoned? Yeah. You're having a little bit of trouble tracking, buddy.

52:06 Caller Well, it's because I talked to the people she was with.

52:09 Drew What do you mean the people she was with?

52:11 Caller Like her ex-boyfriends, because I hang out with some of them. She said that she doesn't really know the Mac that good.

52:18 Drew I see. Well, that's important. You know what you do, Drew, is you check references.

52:24 Caller Yeah.

52:24 Adam That's a good businessman.

52:26 Drew Hey, Earl. Yeah. You're with my girlfriend, right? Sure. She blew you on many occasions? Absolutely. What's the question?

52:35 Adam How was it?

52:36 Drew As far as the oral sex goes with the braces? I don't want you to be honest. How was it? Well, Andrew, sit down. I got some bad news for you. She got a retainer hooked on a penis piercing hand. I had to call the fire department for the host on us. I see. Okay. Cornholing, how was that? Is it enjoyable? Right at one to ten. Ten being best.

52:59 Adam Hi, Father. Father McConaughey, how are you?

53:02 Drew Father McConaughey? Yes. You are Mac now with my girlfriend for a while? That's right. I see. Summer camp two years ago? That's right. Cornholing. Again. How was that? One to ten, give it a five?

53:15 Okay.

53:17 Drew Thanks a lot. Thanks for your time. Father, come here. Here's a 20. Put that in the basket, would you? Thank you. God bless. All right. All right. I don't know what to do again with him. Diane?

53:29 Yeah?

53:30 Drew Listen, not you, honey, but guys, if you call the show, please try not to get baked just before you call in and turn down the news radio in the background. Go ahead, Diane.

53:41 Hi. I've been depressed for a couple of years, and in the last two weeks, I've been sort of happy and stuff, and it's sort of weird.

53:49 Adam Did something happen to make you happy?

53:52 Well, not really. In actuality, I should be more depressed.

53:57 Adam Why?

53:57 Because I had just gone up to college and gotten away from my parents and stuff, and I realized that I didn't like where I was, the school I was at and what I was there for, and so I came back.

54:11 Adam Came back home?

54:12 Yeah.

54:13 Drew What were you there for?

54:14 I was doing engineering.

54:17 Drew I see.

54:17 Adam Eating disorder.

54:18 Drew Eating disorder. God, I was about to yell eating disorder.

54:21 Adam Yeah. You got one.

54:22 Drew Diane?

54:23 Uh-huh.

54:23 Drew Eating disorder?

54:24 Um, yeah.

54:25 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My God, Drew? Me too. Yeah. It was like I wanted to hear the rest of her story, but a minute before she started in on it, I was like eating disorder.

54:34 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Me too.

54:35 Drew And why is that? Why do we know eating disorder after you?

54:38 Adam Because she is so enmeshed with her family that she couldn't make the transition away, and then was euphoric when she returned home, even though it was a return to a fused primitive state that's not going to be good for her at all. Plus, she's got the little girl voice, and I wasn't getting the sort of chaotic abuse thing going.

54:58 Drew So it's going to be easier.

54:59 Adam So much as the intrusion, the intrusion thing.

55:00 Well, and I have also injured before.

55:03 Adam Self-cut. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, your family will not let you go. They are just totally focused on you, aren't they?

55:11 Yeah.

55:11 Adam I mean, that is bad news, Diane, for you. Yep. You've got to separate, and it's something that you probably don't have the internal resources to do on your own. Is your eating disorder active right now?

55:24 No. It's been doing pretty good.

55:26 Adam You've been in treatment for that?

55:28 No.

55:29 Caller Just for that.

55:30 Adam Listen, just think about it this way. If your brain had the mechanisms available to it to sort of fill in and cope with the process of leaving and separating from your family, you would do it, but there isn't anything in there to help that happen. You need some therapeutic intervention to develop that piece of self that needs to come in to tease yourself away from this incredibly tightly enmeshed system.

55:57 Drew What kind of engineering were you going to study?

55:59 Mechanical.

56:00 Drew Wow.

56:01 Adam Diana, seriously, this is a crossroads for you.

56:04 Drew What are you, Asian or Jewish?

56:07 Well, my dad was Jewish, but my parents are Jehovah's Witnesses.

56:11 Drew Jehovah's Witness. Oh, yeah.

56:14 I'm not doing that anymore.

56:15 Drew Good. Oh, boy. There you go. Your parents are professional types?

56:21 Yeah. My dad was a graphic artist and my mom's a teacher.

56:25 Drew I see. Boy, they're all over your ass, aren't they?

56:28 Adam Are you the only child?

56:30 I'm the only one still at home.

56:31 Drew Hey, you ought to go move in with my family for a couple of weeks. Editing disorder will go away. Don't worry.

56:38 Adam Man, can we not hear that?

56:39 Drew Oh, man. Yeah. All right. So, you know what's going on. Do you even want to be an engineer or do you know?

56:45 No, I hate it.

56:46 Adam You hate it?

56:47 Yeah.

56:47 Adam What do you want to be?

56:48 I want to be a musician, actually.

56:50 Caller Oh, boy.

56:52 Adam Your family listen to that when you say that?

56:53 Caller No.

56:54 They hate it.

56:55 Drew Listen, Diane, don't tell your parents what you want to do. Just do it. But you can't, you can't, they're not going to subsidize it. I mean, you're going to have to pay for it.

57:04 Oh, yeah. I know, but.

57:06 Drew All right. Be free.

57:07 Thank you.

57:07 Adam Well, yeah, yeah, get free.

57:09 Drew And enjoy. And get treatment.

57:11 Adam There's nothing. There's such a nothingness there. When she tries to establish self, separate from family, there's nothing to call upon. They've never let anything develop. It takes a little bit. The brain has to do that. It takes a little bit of biological energy for that to happen.

57:26 Drew It takes a while. I know. Listen, I feel her pain. I was in the exact same situation. Well, let me think. Yeah, I was 18 and I remember, I don't know, wait a minute. My stepmom told me to get the hell out of the house and my dad said, yeah, that's a good plan. Other than that, it was the exact same thing.

57:47 Adam And you pulled the dishwasher over and finished the dishes.

57:50 Jesus Christ.

57:52 Drew My God. Talk about, I have the opposite of an eating disorder, whatever that is. What is under-emeshed parents?

58:02 Adam Well, that's a different kind of term.

58:03 Drew Thank God. I didn't even know when the hell my parents, I don't know when their birthdays are, I don't know how old they are, I don't know what the hell they do. I don't know a goddamn thing about them. I really don't. God, my parents were trying to get me out of the house at 15. That is so bizarre. It's bizarre. You know the most bizarre thing is, is when you hear about people that are 180 degrees away from you and what you grew up in, it doesn't even make sense. I couldn't even imagine having a conversation with my family about what I was going to do or what college I was going to go to.

58:38 Adam Not letting you do certain things.

58:39 Drew Or not letting me do something.

58:40 Adam That's not what you're going to be. You're going to be an engineer.

58:42 Drew Encouraging. I was, oh my God, I used to bring home report cards with D's and fails on it. I never even had a conversation. You realize that? I mean, I'd bring home the world's worst report card at like 13. It wasn't a conversation. Some parts of it were good. You got to dodge all that bad stuff you guys get into. You get like a D and you get grounded or something. You didn't have that discussion. Homework, all that stuff you hate to do. Never did it. Never did it. Never did homework, never did anything. Look at me. I'm a millionaire.

59:15 Adam Literally.

59:16 Drew Literally a millionaire. You see this, Drew?

59:18 Adam Hey, by the way.

59:19 Drew What am I pointing at?

59:20 Adam Your schnoz.

59:21 Drew No. What am I pointing at here?

59:22 Adam Your head.

59:23 Drew What is this?

59:24 Adam Your nose. What are you doing? Your face.

59:27 Drew That's right. That's right. You know what that is?

59:29 Adam Face of a millionaire.

59:31 Drew Jesus Christ, you retard. Cash register.

59:34 Adam Oh, that's right.

59:35 Drew Thank you. Eric?

59:37 Yeah.

59:38 Drew You're 15?

59:39 Caller Yeah.

59:40 Drew What's up?

59:41 Caller I just like to say I love The Man Show.

59:42 Caller That's right. Thank you.

59:45 Caller Anyway, I was roughhousing with my dog on Saturday and he bit me in the nose, but it didn't puncture anything, but it was enough to make it a nosebleed. Then on Sunday, I had another nosebleed and a mild headache. Now today, I had another nosebleed and the headache was a little worse, but it wasn't like migraine or anything. I was just wondering, should I go see a doctor about this?

1:00:07 Adam Yeah. Dog bites. Yeah. Any skin punctures?

1:00:10 Caller Didn't puncture the skin. Just put enough pressure on to make the nose bleed.

1:00:13 Adam I see. So he sort of whacked you?

1:00:15 Caller Yeah. Sort of. She put her teeth on my nose, but not enough to puncture the skin or anything, just enough to put enough pressure to make the nose bleed.

1:00:27 Drew Sounds bizarre, because if you think they put enough pressure on it, it would puncture the skin.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah.

1:00:33 Drew All right. Well, anyway, what kind of dog is it?

1:00:35 Caller A Greyhound.

1:00:36 Drew Oh, those messes.

1:00:38 Caller Yeah.

1:00:38 Drew Those dogs are messes. Too much inbreeding with those things. All right.

1:00:46 Adam Yeah. It all makes sense, the headache and whatnot with the bleeding and the kind of injury you've had, but I can't say you shouldn't be seen at this distance.

1:00:54 Drew Well, what could it be?

1:00:57 Adam It could be an infection. It could be something, a more serious source of bleeding. It could be filling up sinuses. It could be a fracture.

1:01:04 Drew What is it with the nose bleeds when you're younger that you don't get anymore? Oh. You know what I'm talking about?

1:01:10 Adam Yeah. You don't pick your nose as much, I guess.

1:01:11 Drew Oh, not me.

1:01:12 Adam You have a problem.

1:01:13 Drew I pick my nose much more than I ever did. I double down on the nose.

1:01:17 Adam That's just driving home at night.

1:01:18 Drew I drive home. I got my right fist up my right nostril.

1:01:22 Adam You told me once it was so much, you were getting worried that you had a problem.

1:01:26 Drew I was. I am. I do. I really pick my nose in a serious way. Hey, but if boogers didn't come out, I wouldn't do it. I would stop. I go at it, man. I go at it in a big way. Let me see. I got my thumb up there on occasion, and I have big nostrils. You don't think about a nostril? It's very accommodating. Look at my nostril. Not a big nostril.

1:01:49 Adam You're putting two fingers up there. I see it.

1:01:51 Drew Let me see.

1:01:53 Adam And, Daniel, you catching this?

1:01:55 Drew I got two fingers in my nostril. I could do it.

1:01:59 Adam Unacceptable. I don't know if it's unacceptable or not. It's happening right here.

1:02:03 Drew That's right. All right. Where are we going?

1:02:05 Adam Just let it fart and just get it over with.

1:02:06 Drew I'm trying. Vanessa?

1:02:08 Caller Yeah.

1:02:08 Drew You're 17?

1:02:09 Caller Yeah.

1:02:09 Drew You're attracted to other girls?

1:02:11 Caller Yeah. But it's kind of weird because I've never done another girl anything. Yeah. I haven't. But I'm really attracted to them.

1:02:23 Adam Like sexually?

1:02:24 Caller Yeah. I would do them, but I'm not gay. So it's like, I don't know.

1:02:30 Adam What do you mean you're not gay?

1:02:31 Caller Well, I mean, I've never done a girl anything, but I've liked girls for a while, but I don't know. I say that I would do them, but then I find myself saying like, no, I don't want to.

1:02:42 Adam Well, you're 17. You're going to figure this out. Right now, all I know is that you're confused and having some pretty strong impulses in that direction.

1:02:51 Drew Anybody monkey with you when you're younger?

1:02:53 Caller No.

1:02:54 Drew No?

1:02:54 Caller No.

1:02:55 Drew You ever been with a guy?

1:02:56 Caller Yeah.

1:02:57 Drew How do you like that?

1:02:59 Caller Yeah. I like that a lot better.

1:03:00 Drew How many guys you've been with?

1:03:02 Caller Three.

1:03:03 Drew Three?

1:03:03 Caller Yeah.

1:03:04 Drew How old were you when you started?

1:03:07 Caller Well, the first time I did it, it was kind of a mistake. I was 12.

1:03:11 Adam That's what we're talking about.

1:03:12 Drew How old is he?

1:03:13 Caller He was 14.

1:03:14 Drew Yeah.

1:03:15 Adam That's the monkey we're talking about.

1:03:16 Drew 12 is a little young, isn't it?

1:03:18 Adam Yeah. That could screw you up a little bit. What were you doing having sex at 12? Why that?

1:03:25 Caller I don't know. I was with him for a few months before, and he lived right next door to me, so I went to his house one day, and it just kind of happened. But I always said if I could take it back, I would though.

1:03:37 Adam Yeah. Everyone we talk to thinks that they had sex too early, but certainly at 12 makes sense.

1:03:44 Drew Funny. I never think about taking back sexual experiences, but I do dream of getting other people. Am I collecting them? You women sit around and think, finally didn't do that, finally could take that one back, finally didn't go out that night. Guys sit around thinking, she's finally banged another chick. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah, I lament that. Brandy?

1:04:06 Best Of Yeah.

1:04:07 Drew You're 21?

1:04:08 Best Of Yes.

1:04:09 Drew All right. Hold on a second.

1:04:12 Adam What?

1:04:12 Drew I don't like her attitude already.

1:04:14 Adam Just like, yes.

1:04:14 Drew Yeah. Yes. All right. We'll see what's up with Brandy. Brandy?

1:04:21 Best Of Yeah. You don't like my attitude?

1:04:24 Drew No.

1:04:25 Best Of No. He caught me off guard.

1:04:27 Drew All right, baby. What's going on in the background? Can you turn that down?

1:04:32 Best Of Yes. Actually, yeah. I'll step outside. I'm a single mom and I have two kids.

1:04:41 Drew You're doing a wonderful job with them, I might say.

1:04:44 Best Of Oh, and I am actually. I've had a problem with nobody wants to... I'm not asking anyone to take on the responsibility of my two kids, but I haven't even had a date since. My daughter is three years old.

1:05:07 Drew Where's the biological, Danny?

1:05:10 Best Of After I graduated high school, I moved out to Washington because I had a lot of problems I needed to get away from. Because I was into drugs and stuff a lot when I was in high school.

1:05:21 Drew Well, you're a mom, sure.

1:05:23 Best Of And well, no, this was before I got pregnant. I needed to get away because I knew for myself that I needed to get away.

1:05:31 Drew So you got away before you were pregnant?

1:05:33 Best Of Yeah. And I moved in with my cousin and it was my cousin's best friend that I was with when I was out there when I got pregnant. And when I moved back to California, it's when I found out I was pregnant.

1:05:49 Drew So he never was around?

1:05:52 Best Of No.

1:05:53 Drew Does he know?

1:05:54 Best Of Oh yeah, he knows. I called him just to let him know because he has the right to know.

1:05:58 Drew Sure.

1:05:59 Best Of And what's the thing is?

1:06:01 Drew Is he all right with that?

1:06:03 Best Of Oh yeah, he was fine with it. But now, like after a while, he would, you know, because he was a couple years younger than I was.

1:06:13 Drew Wait a minute, how old were you when you got pregnant?

1:06:16 Best Of I was 18.

1:06:18 Adam He was 16.

1:06:19 Best Of Yeah, he was turning 17 like a month or two after.

1:06:24 Uh-huh.

1:06:27 Drew Has he ever seen the kid?

1:06:28 Best Of No. He lives in Washington.

1:06:30 Adam You have had another one since then?

1:06:32 Best Of There was a guy.

1:06:34 Drew Well, it's important to have another one.

1:06:36 Best Of No, no, this was a guy that I dated off and on since I was like 14.

1:06:40 Drew Okay, well, if you dated him.

1:06:41 Best Of Well, not say dated, but because I have a son that's going to be nine months old and he would call off and on because he was a lot older. He would call-

1:06:51 Drew How old was he?

1:06:52 Best Of Right now, he's five years older than I am, so he's like 27.

1:06:56 Drew All righty.

1:06:57 Best Of So he would call off and on like every one or two years. He would call because he lived, well, he said he lived up in Monterey. All right. When he came down-

1:07:09 Adam What is the question?

1:07:10 Drew Well, does he see his kid?

1:07:12 Best Of No, because he doesn't even know.

1:07:15 Drew When does the government get to sterilize people? That's my question.

1:07:19 Best Of Well, no, because I've even wanted to get my tubes tied after I had my son and they told me they want to do it because I was too young.

1:07:26 Drew Who's they? Come on.

1:07:28 Best Of The doctor. He told me to go to different doctors and they won't do it because I'm too young. And they said that they, you know.

1:07:37 Adam That's a liability thing.

1:07:39 Drew Hold on a second. Let me yell at the system for a second. Too young. That's right. Too young to be a mother. You have two kids that you're screwing up. You know what I mean? What do you mean too young? Forget about how old you are. You got two kids. Let's put it this way. I don't, does it make a difference whether you're 14 with two kids or 34 with two kids? You got two kids. And you're saying, I don't want another kid. Can't they just sign a piece of paper? Do you know what I'm saying? What's the liability? Somebody comes to you and says, I want this done. They're of age.

1:08:17 Adam Yeah, they said, I didn't know. I couldn't have consented. She was 20 at the time.

1:08:20 Drew She came to a doctor. The doctor didn't come to her.

1:08:23 Adam She was a 20.

1:08:24 Drew As an adult.

1:08:25 Adam She was 20.

1:08:27 Drew As an adult. Over 18.

1:08:29 Adam I know. But let's see if they would do it now. What was the age cutoff that they wanted?

1:08:33 Drew Oh, I don't know. Brandy?

1:08:35 Best Of Okay. I was 21 when I had my son. I was of legal age to get my tubes tied. I was 21.

1:08:41 Drew All right. Go find someone else.

1:08:42 Best Of But they won't do it.

1:08:43 Drew I'll do it myself.

1:08:46 Best Of But the thing is, is that...

1:08:48 Drew Stinking lawyers screwing everything up. Yeah. All right. So you want to know why you can't meet any guys?

1:08:54 Best Of Yeah. I mean, I live by myself with my two kids. I pay my rent. I have my own car. I pay my own bills.

1:09:01 Drew What do you do? How do you make money?

1:09:03 Best Of I'm a teacher.

1:09:05 Drew You're a teacher?

1:09:05 Best Of I went to college right after I graduated high school. I'm a teacher. I'm going to be 22 years old in a month.

1:09:11 Adam What do you teach?

1:09:12 Best Of School-aged children.

1:09:13 Drew Oh, hold on a second. Hold on. You're a teacher in Jersey. What do you teach? And you said school-aged children.

1:09:21 Best Of Yeah, exactly. I work. Okay. I don't have my credentials. I work for the YMCA.

1:09:27 Adam Lay off the tobacco, too, Brandy. My gosh. You can't get the word out without puffing on that thing.

1:09:34 Drew Hey, baby.

1:09:35 Best Of What?

1:09:35 Drew Okay, listen. Who takes care of your kids during the day?

1:09:39 Best Of I pay a babysitter to watch them.

1:09:41 Drew All right.

1:09:41 Best Of I have an in-home daycare.

1:09:43 Drew Okay, listen. Here's the deal, Brandy. You having two children is going to make it a little bit harder for you to find dates.

1:09:52 Best Of Well, that's exactly it.

1:09:53 Drew I know that. But that ain't the sole reason.

1:09:57 Adam No.

1:09:58 Drew There's bigger reasons than that.

1:10:00 Best Of Then why?

1:10:00 Drew That's you. It's not the kids. All right.

1:10:05 Best Of Okay. Then what I want to know is what's wrong with me?

1:10:08 Drew Well, I don't know what's wrong with you, but there are a few things about you that guys ain't that into.

1:10:13 Best Of Let's see. Well, see what I don't understand is because they told me I'm a lot like the guys. I love to watch football. I watch every football game.

1:10:23 Drew Yeah. But listen, Brandy, listen, you can't break it down into hobbies. It doesn't matter. You have some issues, you have some energy.

1:10:31 Adam It's the aggression.

1:10:32 Drew You're a little bit aggressive.

1:10:34 Adam It's the chaos.

1:10:35 Drew The two kids ain't helping. Don't get me wrong, but that ain't it. If you were a lovely, beautiful, kind, warm woman, guys, there'd be many guys who'd love to come in there, be your next husband and the father of your children. They're out there. Don't blame the kids. Just relax. Don't push so hard. Don't smoke so much.

1:11:00 Adam Do you hear that?

1:11:00 Drew Just relax a little bit. Slow down a little bit. And look into some of those issues that had you move from one town to the next because you were too much into drugs in high school and some of those things. I know you got your life back together and all that.

1:11:17 Adam But there's not been a lot of real change.

1:11:20 Drew No, it's been physical change.

1:11:21 Adam It's been a lot of surface change.

1:11:23 Drew Right.

1:11:23 Adam What's keeping the guys away is that deeper stuff that they sense.

1:11:27 Drew Right. Focus on the kids anyway. You're 21. You're 21. You got two kids. Just take a couple years. Focus on the kids. That's fine. All right. Andy is 17. Female thinks she has too much pubic hair. Uh-huh. The guys think that. All right. We'll talk to Andy, Andy the Chick, after this.

1:11:50 Yo, Loveline, I'll be right back, homie.

1:12:30 Drew I never knew that.

1:12:33 Drew Hi, it's Dr. Drew over there, Adam Carolla, Loveline. All right, we'll take ourselves a- I was going to say-

1:12:40 Adam What?

1:12:41 Drew I don't know why.

1:12:42 Adam No.

1:12:42 Drew I just belched up that burrito.

1:12:44 Adam Yes, you did.

1:12:45 Drew Take a shot of that.

1:12:46 Caller Wow.

1:12:49 Adam Oh, Anderson.

1:12:51 Drew Anderson's screwing around with me. Thank you, Anderson. We're getting back on the phones.

1:12:56 Adam I thought we were getting rid of that break anyway.

1:12:58 Drew It is? Which one?

1:12:59 Adam Oh, my God. That's stench.

1:13:00 Drew It was a burrito. What could be bad about a burrito? Andy?

1:13:04 Caller Yeah, Ace?

1:13:06 Drew Hey. I love you.

1:13:07 Caller You're awesome. You make me laugh so much.

1:13:09 Drew I love you, baby.

1:13:10 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:13:11 Drew Anyone who loves me is a friend of mine.

1:13:14 Caller Okay.

1:13:15 Caller I have a problem.

1:13:16 Caller I have a lot of pubic hair.

1:13:19 Caller I have a hairy butt.

1:13:20 Drew Oh, I don't like you. Oh, I do like you. Hairy butt.

1:13:22 Best Of Yeah, just like you.

1:13:23 Caller Oh, my.

1:13:24 Caller I hope not quite that hairy butt anyway.

1:13:26 Best Of I'm just wondering, your opinion as men, if you think it's a total turnoff, whether it's worth it for me to go get it electrolyzed or anything like that.

1:13:37 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:13:38 Drew What's your nationality?

1:13:39 Caller White.

1:13:41 Drew Let me write that down. White.

1:13:44 Caller Uh-huh.

1:13:45 Drew Where are your parents from? So it's a good time. Yeah.

1:13:49 Best Of Um, well, I guess we go all the way back to Poland.

1:13:53 Drew Poland, huh? Not a lot of Harry Poles.

1:13:56 Caller I really wouldn't know.

1:13:57 Drew What else are you?

1:13:59 Caller Just Polish?

1:14:00 Best Of Polish. I think I've got Russian in me somewhere.

1:14:02 Drew Yeah, I got a little hair on them.

1:14:04 Adam Any history of polycystic ovarian syndrome?

1:14:07 Best Of No.

1:14:08 Drew Hmm. Strange, though, somebody with your ethnic breakup being that Harry.

1:14:14 Best Of Well, this is not that incredibly Harry. It's just kind of, I mean, like it's not like my whole butt is covered in hair or anything like that. But I don't know. I think it's kind of.

1:14:25 Drew How's the top side looking? You know, the front part of the butt there?

1:14:30 Best Of Well, you can't tell from just looking at the front part, no.

1:14:33 Drew You can't? Why not?

1:14:35 Caller Well, it's like inside, like inside my butt cheeks.

1:14:39 Drew Oh, slow down, baby. That's what I want. Yeah. Penis goes in, doesn't come out. You can't find it. It's like you're playing baseball, goes in the ivy. That's lost, game over.

1:14:53 Caller Oh, you're mean.

1:14:54 Drew Yeah. You got a nice furry racing stripe going down here. But what about hair, you know, on your belly or your chest or?

1:15:03 Caller No, none of that.

1:15:05 Drew Sideburns, nothing there?

1:15:06 Caller No, nothing like that.

1:15:07 Drew Just in one area, huh? Interesting. And that only get worse with time, by the way. Oh. But that's all right. They got all kinds of things to do with that nowadays.

1:15:18 Best Of So do you think, like, okay, although I don't know who's getting in there.

1:15:21 Caller If you were with a girl who had this problem, would you want her to go to-

1:15:23 Drew I want my money back, I'll tell you that right now. But I want her to what?

1:15:28 Best Of Electrolysis, waxing, stuff like that.

1:15:30 Drew Yeah, I would. I don't represent most men. After all, I am a millionaire. I'm literally a millionaire. I would. I hate to say it. I think most guys would. There's a certain percentage of guys who don't care, and then a smaller percentage are actually turned on by it. But yeah, things being the way they are in society, being the way it is, I would say that most men would like that hair to be gone.

1:15:58 Adam What would you do if you were a woman?

1:16:00 Drew I'd probably try to take care of it. I hate to admit it, but let's face it, part of living in this Western culture of ours is doing things to sort of attract people of the opposite sex and this would be one of them. Now, I don't know how you laser in someone's bunghole or if that's possible.

1:16:20 Adam They wax.

1:16:21 Drew They wax in there, they get up in there. I'll tell you, those Asian broads will go anywhere. They'll do anything, those crazy Asian women. They get right up in there. Women will handle each other, man. They will get up in each other's cracks and crevices and pits and divots and potholes. They'll get right up there. They won't think, they won't give it a second thought. Chicks go to those waxing places. They got their legs akimbo, their heads between their legs. There's some little Asian woman in there with a stick painting on her crack in there. Can you imagine doing that?

1:16:51 Best Of No.

1:16:52 Drew I know. But these women do do it. They don't think twice about it. Okay.

1:16:56 Best Of Well, then thank you very much.

1:16:58 Drew All right. So why don't you check it out? Talk to some of your other female friends. See what they think.

1:17:03 Best Of Okay.

1:17:03 Drew All right, babe. You're fine. You're beautiful to me. Do you know that? All right. You understand?

1:17:08 Caller Yep.

1:17:09 Drew All of you. Just the way you are. You're beautiful.

1:17:12 Caller You're a liar.

1:17:13 Drew You're all beautiful inside. All right. All right.

1:17:15 Caller Bye-bye.

1:17:16 Drew All right. There you go.

1:17:19 Beast.

1:17:20 Drew George.

1:17:20 Caller Hey, what's up, you guys?

1:17:21 Drew You're 19.

1:17:22 Caller Asshole.

1:17:22 Caller Yeah.

1:17:23 Drew Thank you.

1:17:23 Caller What?

1:17:24 Caller Hey, you guys are great I think.

1:17:26 Drew Thank you.

1:17:27 Caller You know, Adam, I love your Tommy Central Man show. I think it's great.

1:17:30 Drew Thank you.

1:17:31 Caller But sometimes it suffers from overt attempts at raunchy humor, which it then unfortunately delves into sophomore can pathetic bathroom pedantics, the void of any intellectual redemption.

1:17:40 Adam Is this somebody's-

1:17:41 Drew Sounds like he's reading a review. Yeah.

1:17:42 Adam Is this somebody's review he's reading?

1:17:44 Caller You need to have more inclusive humor, mainly with your co-host Jimmy. There's not enough skit material that is adequate for him by the end of the show.

1:17:51 Drew Adequate for him?

1:17:52 Caller Yeah.

1:17:53 Drew The guy does more on the show than I do.

1:17:55 Caller Well, you gotta have more inclusive stuff with him. I mean, like, you know, we ever watch that show, the show?

1:18:01 Drew Uh, it's not on anymore, is it?

1:18:04 Caller No, it's not. It used to be on HBO. Remember that?

1:18:07 Drew Yeah.

1:18:07 Caller It was a great show. You guys gotta have skit material that sort of like bobs and weaves and does all this storyline stuff that's crazy.

1:18:13 Drew Yeah. You know what, though? Yeah. We don't.

1:18:17 Best show on television, The Man Show.

1:18:19 Drew Oh, wait a minute. That was Jesse Ventura talking about his favorite show. Wait a minute. I didn't hear that. What did Jesse Ventura, Governor of Minnesota, have to say about The Man Show?

1:18:29 Best show on television, The Man Show.

1:18:31 Drew That's right.

1:18:32 Caller Yeah, but he sucks.

1:18:33 Drew Oh, no. He's a genius.

1:18:35 Caller He's a genius? Oh, then why did he not work for like 10 years in the film industry? I mean, seriously.

1:18:48 Drew That's right. Hey, George.

1:18:50 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:18:51 Drew You never been with a woman, have you buddy?

1:18:53 Caller No, you're absolutely right.

1:18:57 Drew I can tell a guy who hasn't been laid.

1:19:02 Caller My hand's been accommodating.

1:19:03 Drew I understand. Listen, it's good. Let me explain, Drew and George, why you do not want your son to have too much sexual activity before the age of 20. All right? Tell me if you understand this connection because you've done this show for many years, Drew. Many years. Close your eyes. Your eyes closed? Okay. No.

1:19:27 Adam Wake up.

1:19:29 Drew Close your eyes. Okay. Now, you've done this show for, I don't know, 17 years or something. Think about the vocabulary of the men who got laid at 14, the callers that have been laid at 14, and the ones who are 19 or 20 and have never had sex.

1:19:49 Adam All right.

1:19:50 Drew Think about the difference in the verbal skills. Do you hear this guy, George?

1:19:55 Adam Yeah.

1:19:56 Drew Sound like a thesaurus called in, right?

1:19:58 Adam Yeah.

1:19:59 Drew Now think about the guys who call in at 14 who are getting oral sex.

1:20:02 Adam Very wide.

1:20:05 Drew My girlfriend go down on me.

1:20:08 Best Of Good.

1:20:10 Drew Now think about George. George is like Tony F and Randall over here. That's how I knew he'd never been laid. Way too extensive vocabulary.

1:20:19 Caller Yeah.

1:20:20 Caller Hello.

1:20:20 Drew There you go, buddy.

1:20:21 Caller Like actually.

1:20:22 Caller Thank you.

1:20:23 Caller But I do read the c-saurus every night before I go to bed.

1:20:26 Drew Do you?

1:20:26 Caller Yes, I do.

1:20:27 Drew I absolutely know. No, absolutely not. Listen, screwball, a little less reading.

1:20:33 Caller Okay.

1:20:35 Drew A little more seeding.

1:20:36 Caller I got one question for Dr. Drew, though.

1:20:38 Drew You need to get a man. You're gay.

1:20:41 Caller Or watch the man show constantly end to end, right?

1:20:43 Drew All right. Go ahead. What is your question for Drew?

1:20:45 Caller Okay. See, I'm like a devout masturbator.

1:20:49 Adam Devout.

1:20:50 Caller Yeah.

1:20:52 Caller And I'm really faithful to that profession.

1:20:55 Adam Yes. You're amongst the...

1:20:56 Caller Yeah.

1:20:56 Caller And if I do it too many times, will I become sterile?

1:21:00 Adam No.

1:21:00 Caller No.

1:21:01 Adam You can reduce your sperm count, you know, for a single day.

1:21:05 Caller Like a couple sperm?

1:21:06 Drew What are you good for a day?

1:21:08 Caller Good for a day?

1:21:10 Drew Oh my God.

1:21:12 Caller It creates a little puddle.

1:21:14 Drew Where?

1:21:14 Caller Actually, like, it could be like a little marshland.

1:21:18 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:21:19 Caller I could put a little fertilizer seed in there and grow my own marshland.

1:21:22 Drew Yeah.

1:21:23 Adam George has got more problems than just his identity.

1:21:25 Caller Well, yeah, I do actually.

1:21:27 Adam Yeah.

1:21:27 Drew George, what's up, buddy?

1:21:28 Caller I'm a psychopath.

1:21:29 Drew Are you on any meds?

1:21:31 Caller Not at the moment. I've been on Ritalin though before.

1:21:33 Drew Okay. Listen, people have told you you're an intelligent guy, right?

1:21:38 Caller Some of the time, yeah, but they were just being, you know, sarcastic like you are most of the time, you know what I mean? Just like, I don't know.

1:21:42 Drew No, no, no, no, no. Listen, George, Georgie, Georgie Porgie, listen to me, brother. You're a very smart guy. You have a very high IQ.

1:21:50 Caller Perhaps. I don't know.

1:21:51 Drew Oh, you do. Believe me, you do. And I know.

1:21:53 Caller Okay, I do.

1:21:55 Drew All right, I'm being annoyed now.

1:21:56 Caller No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Go ahead.

1:21:57 Drew I'll quiet down.

1:21:58 Caller Okay.

1:21:58 Drew All right. You need to, you need to take a breath.

1:22:02 Caller Okay.

1:22:02 Drew And don't talk so much.

1:22:04 Caller Cuba Libre.

1:22:05 Drew And you need to, don't quote anything from Star Trek or anything. And you need to just like start going on some long walks. No talking.

1:22:14 Caller That's not logical advice, Jim.

1:22:20 Drew Everyone do some betting on when George is getting laid? Let's see.

1:22:28 Adam Start Aid 45.3.

1:22:33 Drew We'll never be able to collect on a bet because we both have died of natural causes. Let me see. I'm going to take a wager on when a woman is going to let George inside her. Let's see. What day is it? Monday?

1:22:46 Adam Monday, April 2, 2000.

1:22:48 Drew Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. 14 years. I love that joke. Oh my God. Guys just have no idea. Guys, guys, don't talk. You'll never get laid. Don't talk.

1:23:09 Adam Now we know just to kind of understand why women go for the brooding downtrodden type. This is their alternative.

1:23:17 Drew Right. We got George asking to beam me up every five seconds.

1:23:22 Caller All right.

1:23:22 Drew Let me just talk to Henry. Henry, you're 17?

1:23:25 Caller Yeah.

1:23:26 Drew You had a sexy girlfriend two days ago. And now she's itchy down there?

1:23:31 Caller Yeah. Today she told me that she was itching down there.

1:23:35 Drew Down there?

1:23:36 Caller Yeah.

1:23:36 Drew Okay. Hold on. See what I'm talking about? Guys are getting laid. Yeah.

1:23:42 Adam I'm talking about Australia or something.

1:23:43 Drew It takes their vocal chi right out of them. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back.

1:23:53 Caller The band of Corolla and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:24:30 Drew It's the Loveline, the man of corollas, Dr. Drew. Let's get back on the phones here and speak to Henry. All right. So, Henry?

1:24:38 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38 Drew You had sex with your girlfriend, now it's itchy down there.

1:24:40 Caller Yeah.

1:24:40 Drew She's itchy down there.

1:24:42 Caller She's itchy.

1:24:43 Caller Yeah. She told me today that she was itching down in her vagina, and I was wondering what...

1:24:50 Adam Well, it could be a yeast infection, could be a vaginal infection, could even be herpes if you have herpes, or if you had your mouth and you had contact out there.

1:24:56 Drew Do you have herpes?

1:24:57 Caller No.

1:24:58 Adam You have cold sores in your mouth, anything like that?

1:25:00 Caller No.

1:25:01 Adam And this was probably just a yeast infection, or possibly even a vaginitis, but something that should be treated. You can try the over-the-counter yeast medication first.

1:25:07 Drew All right. So she should try that.

1:25:08 Adam Yeah.

1:25:09 Drew All right. A lot of women get the yeast infection down there. Matt?

1:25:13 Adam Yeah.

1:25:13 Drew You're 21.

1:25:15 Caller Yeah.

1:25:16 Caller My stepfather was mentally and a little physically abusive, and I want to know the possibility of me being that way toward my children.

1:25:25 Drew 37, 38 percent.

1:25:26 Adam Well, there's actually some dad that puts it around 60 percent. And I think if you're aware of it, you're not going to do it.

1:25:32 Drew This is your stepfather? Yes. When did he come on to the scene?

1:25:37 Caller From 12 to 19.

1:25:40 Drew What about before 12?

1:25:42 Caller No father from the age 6 to 12.

1:25:46 Drew And how is age 6 father? Is he any good?

1:25:50 Caller Yes.

1:25:50 Drew He was?

1:25:51 Caller Yeah, I see him.

1:25:53 Caller I live right next to him now, but I see him like twice a year for that.

1:25:57 Adam Just wait till you're a lot older before you have kids and make sure you have good impulses.

1:26:01 Drew Do you have kids now?

1:26:02 Caller No.

1:26:02 Drew All right, just give it a little time. But listen, he came around at 12. It's kind of on the border, but if you had 0 to 12, things were good, you'd probably be OK.

1:26:12 Adam You'd be OK, yeah.

1:26:13 Drew Yeah, and he wasn't sprinkling of physical abuse. Not too bad of a guy. All right. Don, you're 22.

1:26:24 Caller My question basically is for Dr. Drew, I guess. He might be able to answer it better. I consider myself bisexual, but it's got me confused as hell. And I've been seeing a girl for about 9 or 10 months. And I feel like it's just kind of I'm desperate.

1:26:44 Adam For what?

1:26:46 Caller Well, for a relationship, for one. And I need to be with someone. And it's.

1:26:54 Drew What about the person you've been with for 9 or 10 months?

1:26:58 Caller Well, she's been great, you know, she's she's always there for me. And things have gone well.

1:27:03 Adam What's your question?

1:27:05 Caller Well, if I keep seeing her, are my feelings for men gonna go away?

1:27:09 Adam No, not likely.

1:27:11 Caller Not likely. What do you suggest I do?

1:27:15 Adam Well, either.

1:27:16 Drew Man, man, I got a fart.

1:27:17 Adam Oh, God.

1:27:18 Drew Keep talking.

1:27:19 Adam Either you are gay and really not coming to terms with that.

1:27:23 Drew Hold on, get the light.

1:27:24 Adam Hold on a second.

1:27:25 Drew Hold on a minute.

1:27:26 Adam And.

1:27:26 Caller Oh, boy.

1:27:29 Caller Boring, huh?

1:27:38 Drew Wow. Man, you missed a bear. That was a sizeable flame, wouldn't you say, Drew?

1:27:46 Adam I would say it scared me.

1:27:48 Drew Knocked Drew back into his seat.

1:27:50 Adam Wow, sulfur.

1:27:52 Drew Yeah. Yeah. All right. Now we're talking.

1:27:56 Adam We've been told, Don, that maybe you're gay and having trouble dealing with that and trying to force yourself into being a woman. Or if you're bisexual and you're ready to have a monogamous relationship, commit yourself and that's that. But I don't think...

1:28:09 Drew All right, listen, he's not going anywhere with this relationship. She's there for me. I mean, you're using her as a crutch.

1:28:15 Adam Well, to try to divert yourself from your homosexual instinct.

1:28:18 Drew And listen, any guy who's bi is gay, please. Who are you kidding with is bi? I've said it a hundred times. Bi is gay with a publicist. That's what that is. You show me a guy who likes to oh, blow a guy on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. But I'm all man with the ladies on the rest of the day's way. Give me a break. Who are you guys kidding? This is the most ridiculous premise I've ever heard in my life.

1:28:46 Adam What people have messed with, you know, they get kind of screwed up.

1:28:48 Drew All right, then just say you're effed up and confused. Bye is gay. Believe me, believe me. There's not a straight man in the world who understands Bye. And by the way, all these guys that are so-called Bye, where are they now? Where's the Elton Johns of the world now? You know what I mean? They're gay. They always were. Here's what-

1:29:13 Adam People forget that whole history. You know, they were around 15, 20 years ago.

1:29:16 Drew Well, here's what happened. Guys- Here's what- Let me explain bisexuality in men. Not in women, but in men. Here's the definition. They start off and they have feelings toward men when they're young. Nine, ten, eleven. They like guys. They're confused and society won't have anything of it. And they start picking up dolls and someone hands them a gun and a GI. Joe. You know what I mean? And so they go, oh, this is wrong. This is bad. I should ignore this. And their parents pressure them. And so they start trying to go down that heterosexual road. And they go on a few dates and they have sex. Some of them even have kids and stuff. But before, you know what? The gay, the little pink head starts rearing its ugly head again. The gay elephant's out of the bag, right? So it comes back out. The gay elephant. And...

1:30:06 Adam I want to talk to Chris.

1:30:07 Drew Shut up. And, Drew, don't screw with my train of thought. I want to say, go hetero, because I think they're supposed to. All right, now what happens? Well, they admit, all right, I like guys. Yeah. But I like women, too. So I'm bi. I'm not gay. I'm bi. Now, you're gay now, and you always were gay. You tried to stuff it into a pair of dungarees, but it didn't work. You got the dress. That's the thing.

1:30:31 Adam On the road to being gay.

1:30:32 Drew And eventually, you'll be gay. Don't worry. I don't know any bi guys that didn't turn gay eventually. Here we go.

1:30:39 Adam Chris?

1:30:41 Drew You're 31.

1:30:42 Caller Yeah. The problem is, my wife has got this girlfriend of hers coming into town, and she's been so screwed up with other men that my wife wants me to go and sleep with her, and maybe cure her of her ill, but I don't see how that's going to happen.

1:31:00 Drew Well, wait a minute. Your wife may be on to something here.

1:31:03 Adam Your wife's been screwed up with men too, evidently.

1:31:05 Caller Well, see, the thing is, then that leaves me open to let my wife sleep with some other guy her friend brings over.

1:31:11 Drew Obviously. Sure, by law.

1:31:12 Caller And I don't want that.

1:31:13 Drew Law of God and nature.

1:31:15 Adam Your wife is-

1:31:15 Drew Hold on.

1:31:16 Adam She's sabotaging us.

1:31:17 Caller Yeah, that's what I think it is.

1:31:19 Drew Listen, Chris, you are either drunk, putting us on, or just a flat out retard.

1:31:24 Caller You know what? I knew you guys weren't going to believe me because it's too good to be true.

1:31:28 Drew We don't believe you.

1:31:29 Caller Well, it's good, but the thing is-

1:31:31 Caller I believe him.

1:31:32 Caller The thing is that-

1:31:33 Drew This is Jeff Fox with you.

1:31:35 Caller My wife is telling me that if I so much as look at another woman, that she's going to cut my thing off.

1:31:42 Caller Yeah.

1:31:43 Caller But then she turned around and says, oh, but you can sleep with my best friend.

1:31:46 Drew All right. But your wife has some serious issues.

1:31:48 Caller Oh, yeah. She has issues.

1:31:49 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:31:50 Drew Ish-ews.

1:31:51 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:31:52 Drew Huge.

1:31:52 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:31:53 Drew Yeah. You know they call those issues ish-mees. It's not about you, brother. It's about me. Yeah. Write that down, ish-mees. That's how you know, by the way, I'm not a horrible radio show host, because I was one of those dried-up prunes who was on the air at some point before as a Dr. Loris type. If they struck on the ish-me, they would write that down. Oh, my God. It posted up on the wall. They'd write a book with the ish-me as the cover. Okay. So here's the point. This chick's a piece of work. Yes. What Chris needs to do is not fall into any of her bizarre sexual crap.

1:32:29 Adam Mind fields. Mind fields.

1:32:30 Drew That she's springing. Chris?

1:32:31 Caller Yeah.

1:32:32 Drew Just because it's the end of the night, I'm going to go home with a strong pain in my side. How many kids do you have?

1:32:38 Caller Well, she had one before we met, and we have three since then.

1:32:42 Drew Oh, great. That's great. I can drive home. Now I can hold my side all the way home. No more kids, you mother.

1:32:50 Caller Oh, well, you know.

1:32:50 Drew Do you hear me? You two shouldn't raise goldfish. Please.

1:32:56 Caller Oh, wow.

1:32:56 Drew What do you do? Drive a truck or hang drywall?

1:32:59 Caller I'm a security guard.

1:33:00 Drew No, my God. Please, Chris, no more kids. No more kids. I'm holding you personally accountable for every bank they rob, every liquor store they turn over, and every elderly person they beat at the ATM. Can you imagine that's daddy? Daddy and mommy. Daddy and mommy, everybody. That's all right. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back after this.

1:33:21 Caller We about to get funky, yo.

1:33:24 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

1:34:01 Adam Well, there you go. Another show just flew by. Adam flew the coop tonight, but I'm here, I'm Dr. Drew, and I'm telling you tonight, on Adam Corolla's behalf, goodnight and mahalo. Ow! It's called intimacy. Can I say that? You're fat. You're gay. Confused.

1:35:02 Caller You're sick.

1:35:03 Adam You're overweight. You're still aversion. You're dysfunctional. Not acceptable.

1:35:07 Caller That's enough to do.

1:35:08 Caller Right. Right.

1:35:09 Caller Right. Right.

1:35:10 Caller Haha. Well now.

1:35:11 Caller This has been Loveline. The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else. Including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

Episode Feedback

Monday, July 3, 2000