Episode 1000754887449

1:15 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:22 Voiceover Our discretion is advised.

1:23 Adam Corolla.

1:24 Best Of Dr. Drew.

1:25 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

1:30 Adam Hello there, Loveline fans, and welcome to the Best of Loveline, the Fourth of July edition. I'm Adam Corolla, that is my partner, Dr. Drew. He's board certified in addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, the first guest we have up on the Best of Loveline is Duran Duran. Tonight, we have a sign on the bonnet roads in Warren Cucarilla, all from Duran Duran.

1:54 Old favorites we are.

1:56 Adam Hot Trash is the name of the new CD. And I don't think we've had Duran Duran in here for a couple of years.

2:03 Warren and I came in a couple of years ago. Yeah, it's a couple of years ago.

2:08 Adam Warren is missing his hair. I was surprised to see because you... You have your hair, don't you?

2:16 Best Of Oh, no, no.

2:16 I still have it at home.

2:18 Adam I mean, you don't need to shave your head, do you?

2:21 Oh, yeah.

2:22 Adam You do?

2:22 Best Of I need to glue my hair on.

2:24 Drew No, no, but you're not bald.

2:26 Best Of I'm totally bald.

2:27 Drew No, but now you are.

2:29 Best Of Right.

2:29 Drew Or you have to shave yourself. I'm bold, baldy.

2:32 Adam It's just your own hands, is what I'm saying. No.

2:36 Best Of The hair that I had is under the cupboard in the kitchen.

2:39 Adam But it wasn't...

2:41 Drew I know what I'm saying. It wasn't thinning out.

2:43 I've been fading it. You should see it now. Oh, yeah.

2:48 Best Of That was the glue-on variety.

2:49 Adam I'm just saying when white guys shave their head, people think it's because they're going bald. I don't know. I never saw that in Warren, but I'm always someone hammered with the rest of his physique. I rarely look up when I talk to Warren.

3:03 Drew He's always talked about his pain.

3:05 You should see his legs.

3:06 Best Of They're really bald.

3:07 Drew Oh, yeah.

3:08 Best Of When I stop shaving my legs.

3:10 No, really?

3:11 Drew Hey, what? You guys are taking emails tonight?

3:13 Yeah.

3:13 Adam Why?

3:14 Drew You didn't give out your emails. 310-854-4455. We never get to see them.

3:18 Are you talking about emails?

3:20 Drew Yeah. I can get the email thing up.

3:23 Adam Drew, get your email.

3:24 Drew Let's get modern working over there.

3:26 Adam Oh, blimey. I saw the whole behind the music, Duran Duran thing yesterday, which I watched. I'll tell you this. Who all is in the band right now?

3:37 This is it.

3:38 We got it, boy.

3:39 This is it?

3:39 We've got the entire core line up here.

3:42 It took us 17 years to get rid of all those tables.

3:44 This is the writing team. When we go out playing live, we take Wesley Miller, who's a bass player.

3:50 Hello, Wes.

3:51 And Joe Travis. Maybe they're listening because they're in California.

3:55 Adam And you guys flew in from England today?

3:58 Drew Oh, yeah.

4:00 In fact, it's about what time?

4:01 6 a.m. in the morning? Actually, I just want to say thank you. Thank you to a couple of people, to all the girls on the airplane. In particular to Paris, who's wonderful, and to the very entertaining tag team of Bryce and Chris.

4:19 Best Of Geez, I shouldn't have went to sleep.

4:20 Yeah, that was your masseuse, right?

4:22 Adam Yeah, did you guys fly a Virgin Air over?

4:25 Yeah.

4:25 Adam Oh, they give you a rub down?

4:27 They do. You know, I got one of those shiatsu massages today, Drew, you'll be surprised to hear.

4:36 Drew I am surprised. Yeah.

4:37 Adam I know, but I got the shiatsu massage, which is something I never had before. It's like the rough massage.

4:44 Drew It's pressure.

4:46 Yeah, it's not a stroke.

4:47 Adam No, it's for the guy who has a sore back and low self-esteem, and that needs a good beating. But the thing I was excited about, and I know you guys will quietly agree with me on this, it was an Asian guy doing it. I thought, I like it first off when the guy's nationality matches up with the technique that is about to impart.

5:08 Drew You know what I mean?

5:09 Adam I want the judo instructor to be an Asian guy. I don't want a big Jewish guy as a judo instructor. He may be good, but it doesn't match up well for me.

5:18 Best Of I had a Jewish sitar teacher, that was kind of strange.

5:20 Adam Yes, he'd want an Indian guy.

5:22 Drew Exactly.

5:23 Adam But it all worked out for him.

5:25 Drew He would trust that it could be the real thing.

5:27 Adam Yes, it's authentic when a guy can barely speak English and he's just off the boat as giving you the Shiatsu massage.

5:33 What would an Indian Jewish guy be like in massage?

5:36 Adam He'd probably just beat you with a chauffeur or a sitar.

5:41 What about when you go to an Indian restaurant and the wait is Swedish?

5:45 Adam Yes, see, it doesn't work.

5:47 Drew Right, if you wanted a massage, I would have put you in the middle.

5:49 But you know, there's a lot of trouble about this, about people being employed and not employed on the basis of race. Yes. And a lot of Swedish waiters who want to work in Indian restaurants are pretty angry, I have to tell you.

6:03 Adam No, in a time someone took a stand and you guys ought to do some sort of live aid where you raise money for Swedish waitresses who want to work at Indian joints.

6:13 That's smart, yes.

6:14 Or Indian waiters who want to be Swedish masseuses, right? Anything, any kind of cause.

6:18 Adam The money will go in many different directions. All right, we will go to the phone. Sarandha Rand is here tonight. Drew is the electronic part of this booted up email.

6:30 I'm going to keep him quiet for a while.

6:31 Drew I'm going to actually set up a chat room.

6:33 Best Of Jay?

6:35 Jay? Jay?

6:38 Drew Caller who goes by Jay, 15.

6:39 Jay?

6:41 Drew He's sleeping?

6:41 No Jay.

6:42 Drew Wait a minute, we're not holding for too many minutes.

6:43 It was OJ.

6:44 It's no Jay.

6:45 Best Of OJ.

6:46 Adam Jay?

6:47 Best Of All right.

6:48 Drew That's OJ.

6:49 Best Of Jeremy holds 32 minutes. That's quite a while.

6:52 Yeah, yeah, he's just covering the time between the, you know, going.

6:56 Jay, wake up. Come to the phone.

6:58 Drew Jeremy.

6:58 Adam We'll go to Jeremy. Jeremy, you're 22.

7:00 Caller What's up?

7:01 Adam, love you.

7:03 Drew You're the best.

7:04 Caller Oh, thank you.

7:05 Best Of Dr. Drew, I have a question.

7:06 Drew Yeah?

7:07 How do you know if you've had a cystic or a cancer? I've had a cystic or a cancer.

7:10 Drew No, you don't. Ever since Tom Green's thing, everybody now is aware that cystic or cancer is an important and increasingly important and common condition. You should learn how to check your testes. You basically sort of squeeze it like a, like you squeeze a plum and run your fingers across it and if you feel anything hard or irregular or anything that's swollen or out of the ordinary, just go to your doctor and check it back.

7:35 Adam On the test itself.

7:37 Yeah, because like my right one, so my left one, like up towards the top, I don't know if there's a tube connecting to it.

7:43 Drew There is a tube there, but sometimes it's thickened in some people and it feels a little more prominent. The epididymis, which kind of sits on top, sometimes can be swollen or inflamed or feel different than the other side. Let's refer to the chart. So far, I've been given the thing.

7:56 Adam Drew, how about my technique of resting my scrotum on a flashlight in a pup tent and having it illuminated?

8:03 Drew The Corolla Method.

8:04 Adam Yes.

8:06 Drew That's not for everybody.

8:07 Adam Not for the faint of heart. Alright, Drew is looking up the scrotum. We're going to move on. Jeremy?

8:13 Best Of Yes.

8:14 Adam Go to the doctor if you think you have a problem.

8:15 Best Of Absolutely.

8:16 Drew Cancer is usually like a rock, like a pebble sitting there.

8:19 Best Of Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like.

8:21 Drew Yeah, but you've got to check that out.

8:23 Adam Is it attached to the testy, the rock?

8:26 Best Of Here we go.

8:28 Drew He may be feeling the tube coming down here, right?

8:31 Adam Right.

8:31 Drew But he also feels like a rock, so that shouldn't feel like rock, it should feel more like worm.

8:35 Adam Is that rock the cancerous rock?

8:37 Caller Yes.

8:38 Adam It's growing on your test?

8:39 Drew Yes.

8:40 Best Of All right. I'm going to check that out.

8:43 Caller What age group is that usually in our case?

8:45 Drew Young males.

8:45 Caller Really?

8:47 Adam Dan, you're 16. Turn down your radio.

8:50 Best Of Sorry. Dan, hello?

8:54 Adam Yeah.

8:55 Best Of My question?

8:56 Adam Yes.

8:58 Best Of I feel good to wait until you have sex. I mean, what age group? I don't know. Because I never had before. All my friends had it. They did it.

9:12 Best Of Do your friends make you feel bad because you didn't have it?

9:15 Drew Yeah.

9:16 Best Of They're so young too.

9:17 Drew I bet you half the ones that say they have haven't, for one thing.

9:20 Caller What do you say? Do you say you didn't have it? Do you lie to them? You do.

9:26 Best Of Just to make me feel better.

9:28 Drew Do you have a girlfriend?

9:29 Best Of No.

9:30 Drew You wonder how many of them are lying to?

9:32 Adam Really?

9:32 Drew Probably at least half.

9:33 Adam Oh, why do we have to make Dan feel that much better? Who cares?

9:37 Drew Well, the point is you shouldn't feel pressured. Come on. Absolutely.

9:41 Adam You're 16. It'll come when it comes.

9:43 Best Of Yeah, but I don't know if I like pressure me so much that I get like so angry that I like...

9:49 Drew Look, don't do anything that... It's supposed to be something that grows out of a normal relationship. It's supposed to be something you enjoy and you're ready to do.

9:56 Caller Otherwise, why do it? Are you a good looking kid?

10:00 Best Of Frank-ass. I don't know.

10:02 Best Of Get yourself a girlfriend. Find somebody you really like to spend time with and, you know, something that happens to you.

10:08 Drew What's the problem?

10:09 Like, no one really likes me down here or up here or whatever.

10:13 Best Of And that will do it.

10:14 Best Of Move.

10:15 Best Of Nah. I already did that before.

10:18 Adam Hey, Dan?

10:19 Best Of Yeah?

10:19 Adam You spend a lot of time masterbanging?

10:22 Best Of Nah.

10:23 Adam You on the Internet a lot?

10:26 Drew Nah, I don't even have a computer.

10:27 Adam Okay. You gotta go outside and meet people. You know what I'm saying? Do what Warren did. You learn to play the guitar, you shave your body, you get tanned, you start working out.

10:38 Caller Okay? There are some scary consequences to that.

10:42 Adam But overall, I'd say it's worked out, right?

10:45 Best Of Yeah.

10:46 Adam Hey, Dan.

10:47 Best Of Who's your best friend, Dan?

10:50 Best Of I have a best friend, but he's really like drugged up right now.

10:56 Best Of That's not a good friend to have.

10:58 Best Of We've been friends since kindergarten, you know, and like he changed, like totally different, you know, like he's doing drugs, you know, but he's like the only friend that I feel really close to, you know.

11:11 Best Of What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

11:14 Best Of Normal, but really close.

11:17 Best Of So you should talk to them.

11:18 Drew That's not normal, by the way.

11:20 Adam You're not supposed to like them, it says 16. Hey, Dan, listen, whatever it is you like to do, start doing it if it doesn't have to do with whacking off with a computer.

11:29 Drew All right.

11:29 Adam And just go out and I mean, if you're doing, if you're kind of chasing your muse in life, people get turned on by that and they find you.

11:38 Drew Well, you develop esteem from that too.

11:40 Adam Yeah, whether it's starting a band or whatever it is, riding a bike, whatever the hell it is.

11:46 Drew Women don't like desperation.

11:48 Adam No, no. You know, I did a 15-year experiment with that. Didn't work out, it turns out. You're right. I wish I had known you earlier, Drew. Jay? Yes. All right. You're up now? Yeah. You're 14.

12:00 Drew What's up? Were you asleep?

12:01 Best Of No. I didn't know you guys were talking to me. I'm sorry.

12:04 Caller All right, Jay.

12:06 Best Of I was with my friend and I was in my bedroom's house. My friend was downstairs at a party and I took my friend upstairs and I gave him all sex and I forgot to ask him if he had some kind of disease or something. And I swallowed his semen and now I'm kind of worried. And I asked my three of my best friends.

12:22 Caller Yeah.

12:23 Best Of I asked my best friends, hey, Zandra, I asked her, can you get it from my son? She said no. I asked my son, Emma, and they said yeah. And I don't know what to do.

12:34 Drew You definitely can get a moral sex. That now has finally been proven.

12:37 Best Of But can I, I can't do anything about it. The sex can change. I mean, you know how you have the morning after pill?

12:45 Drew No, there's nothing like that for HIV. Unfortunately, you can certainly find out from him whether or not you have something to do with it.

12:50 Adam Well, why do you think this guy is HIV?

12:52 Best Of Because he's like, he does like drugs and stuff.

12:55 Drew IV drugs? Intravenous drugs?

12:58 Best Of No, just like marijuana and stuff.

12:59 Drew Intravenous drugs are what put you at risk for HIV, okay?

13:03 Best Of Okay.

13:04 Adam Hey, Jay?

13:05 Best Of Yes?

13:05 Adam Are you gay?

13:06 Caller Yes. Okay.

13:07 Adam Slow down a little. You're 14, right?

13:09 Best Of Yeah.

13:10 Best Of That's not the first time I've done it though.

13:12 Caller Yeah.

13:12 Best Of Just make sure you use condoms, whatever you're going to do.

13:14 Best Of Well, because he asked me did I want to do it. I haven't done it yet. He asked me to do it once and I said no, I'm not ready to do it yet, so I could respect it.

13:21 Adam All right. Now, give me a BJ.

13:25 Drew Oh my God. You want to bet on him?

13:27 Adam No. I'll tell you, chivalry is not dead. Hey, can I cornhole you? No.

13:32 Drew All right.

13:32 Adam I can respect that. Sir Walter Rollick. How about a nice BJ while I watch TV? Man, 14. Just everybody, slow down. There'll be plenty of time.

13:44 Drew But you can imagine what his upbringing was like.

13:47 Adam I'm sure it wasn't great. Drew, you want to focus on the screen now, pick another call. Danny? Yeah. You're 13. You're on with the randoran.

13:55 Best Of Oh, all right. Hey, what's up?

13:57 Best Of Everything's all right.

13:58 Best Of All right. My question is, I was wondering if it was normal for teens to masturbate like four to five times a day?

14:03 Best Of Yeah.

14:04 Adam That sounds simple. It seems a little light. Did you hurt your hand? No, not yet. You should be concerned, Danny. I like to see you up in the eight and nine range. When did you get started?

14:18 Best Of I haven't been doing it for very long, maybe like half a year ago.

14:21 Adam I see. Have you honed your technique?

14:24 Best Of Pretty much. Oh, okay.

14:26 Caller Good. Sticking with it.

14:28 Best Of There is cream in the works, right?

14:30 Adam Yeah. You're four or five times.

14:33 Drew Are you hurting yourself?

14:35 Best Of No, it doesn't hurt.

14:36 Drew Are you spending money doing this?

14:37 Adam His mom dies a little each time he does it, but he's not hurting himself.

14:40 Drew Is there any addiction in your family?

14:42 Best Of No, my family is perfectly normal.

14:44 Drew Were you sexually abused at any time?

14:46 Best Of No.

14:46 Drew Good.

14:47 Best Of Yeah.

14:48 Adam Good times.

14:49 Best Of I was very fortunate.

14:50 Adam Cheers.

14:50 Best Of Yeah.

14:51 Adam To the Duran Duran, let's say. All right, Danny.

14:54 Best Of Hey, will you play the Taboo 2 theme song, Adam?

14:56 Adam Really?

14:57 Best Of Yeah, I love that song.

14:58 Adam Well, maybe we'll hear just a snippet of it. I'll play it. Well, this is a theme. You guys may want to cover this song. It's from Taboo 2, probably 1978, 79, classic porn. This is one of the lovely ballads from the movie.

15:16 Best Of Yes, he does.

15:19 Adam These are real lyric ballads.

15:26 Best Of I'm the sequel. Oh, yeah.

15:36 Adam He does it with me.

15:38 Best Of Oh, yes, he does.

15:41 Adam I don't think you guys should cover it straight. I think you ought to, you know, put your tarantula in the gym.

15:47 Best Of We could put some little doos in there.

15:50 Adam Yeah, and maybe, maybe pace it up a little bit.

15:52 Caller I can come over there and say, I'm a bitch. What's that?

15:56 Adam Oh, it's a, uh, call a card that we'll never hear.

15:59 Caller Yeah, you got some good titles over there.

16:01 Adam Thank you, Anderson.

16:02 Best Of Yeah.

16:04 Best Of There.

16:06 Drew Bob?

16:07 Best Of Yeah.

16:08 Adam What's going on? You're 16. Oh, 19, sorry.

16:11 Best Of Yeah. All right.

16:12 When it comes time to talk to your girlfriend about who you've been with, how do you break to them that you've messed around with a hooker?

16:20 Best Of Who you've been with before you met your girlfriend, so you're telling her or what?

16:24 Caller Yeah.

16:24 Best Of Just giving them the history, you know?

16:26 Caller Tell them you were hanging out with your grands a while back and-

16:29 Adam Yeah.

16:30 Best Of You came across something on Hollywood and Sunset and Vine.

16:33 Adam Listen, I would lie about that. I really would. Yeah, absolutely.

16:38 Best Of But isn't that kind of like a big, big dishonesty?

16:40 Adam No, no.

16:42 Best Of Hey, this guy-

16:43 Drew Why are you getting into details about your previous romantic life? Isn't that best let that be?

16:49 Adam Yeah, but don't you always do that at 19? Did you guys- Hold on.

16:52 Drew Of course you do. Can't you help them by avoiding that?

16:55 Adam I told them to lie.

16:57 Drew I don't know what else I could do. Don't injure me. Don't you lie about hookers?

17:01 Caller Did I?

17:02 Best Of Yeah.

17:02 Caller You know what?

17:03 Adam I've never been with a hooker.

17:05 Best Of See?

17:05 Caller See?

17:06 He's lying.

17:07 Caller He's definitely lying.

17:09 Caller See?

17:11 Adam That's how you do it though, you see? Now, here's the reality. Guys ask girls questions when they're 19 that they don't want the answer to. Girls ask guys questions that they don't want the answer to. The answer that she wants is, I've never been with a prostitute. You give her that answer, she will be happy. You do not give her that answer, it will haunt you. Because why does she want the information? In the first place, if you really think about it, it's not to push it back in your face at some point. It's the same with guys. I think women ought to do the same thing.

17:42 Caller Let's hope she doesn't have a voice recognition system. Well, that's really done it.

17:45 Drew How about just not launching into those discussions?

17:47 Best Of Yeah, but you can't.

17:49 Adam That's sort of an admittance of guilt. Have you ever been with a hooker? I don't want to talk about it.

17:54 Drew By the way, he wasn't even asked. He thinks he has to get all this out.

17:57 Adam No.

17:58 Drew Well, have you ever been with a hooker?

18:00 Caller What are you doing, man? Bob? Yeah.

18:03 Adam Obviously, he has. You've been with a hooker, right?

18:06 Best Of Yeah, a little bit. What is it?

18:08 Adam A little bit.

18:09 Best Of Maybe they share this information these days because of the whole Ace thing. So they want to know who you've been with and try to trace it back. Maybe that's why people are very concerned, right?

18:17 Drew Is that the case?

18:20 Best Of No. No.

18:23 Best Of Well, Bob, just like Adam said, just lie.

18:25 Caller Will you get rid of wondering where to boast about it or not?

18:31 Best Of Yeah.

18:33 Adam That's more like it. All right, Bob. I'm cutting to the chase. Just lie. Listen. There's a lot of questions you ask when you're 19 and when you get a little bit older, you don't ask them anymore because you don't want to know the answer. You've learned your lesson and it's more mystery, less history. That is my new motto.

18:50 Best Of I wish I had known it earlier.

18:53 Adam John, you're 27.

18:56 Best Of Yes, sir.

18:58 Best Of My question is actually regarding my job. I've been a police officer for about two years.

19:05 Prior to me being an employee of the police officer, I was engaged. My fiancee left me because she didn't want to live the lifestyle of a wife married to a cop. Ever since then, I've had a number of relationships, but I'm having a very difficult time being intimate with anybody. As far as opening up, feeling like a connection, I meet very, very nice people, but I'm really hard now. I'm not sure if that's the job or maybe just the experience.

19:36 Adam Are you on patrol now?

19:38 Yes, I am. No, not in the car. At the very moment, I'm off.

19:41 Adam I'm on the way home. I see. Where are you calling from?

19:44 Best Of San Francisco.

19:45 Caller Oh, okay. But you're basically a very honest person, right?

19:51 Adam Absolutely.

19:52 Best Of Yeah.

19:52 Caller I guess that goes with the job, yeah?

19:55 Best Of With most, yes.

19:56 Caller Okay.

19:57 Caller Do you think that your difficulty in opening up, as you put it, has anything to do with the job that you do?

20:05 Caller I'm sorry.

20:06 The very last part of the show.

20:07 Caller Did you feel that this is your difficulty in opening up? Is there anything to do with the job that you're doing?

20:13 Well, that's kind of what I'm curious about, because both of these events have happened within a two-year time frame. I'm not sure if maybe I'm just bitter in getting over someone that I was very close to, or that I've become kind of a harder personality, don't like to show my feelings because you can't let people see weakness when you're not on the street. I'm not sure. I mean, you get close to those that you work with, but anybody outside that realm, I'm having a very difficult time relating to anymore.

20:41 Adam All right. Hold on a second, John, because the connection is bad. He can still hear us. I could see that. I mean, cops have like the highest rate of suicide and alcoholism. I could definitely understand it. And then I think what happens is they bond together, and the world becomes sort of the enemy or the criminals or whatever you want to call them. But there's a certain amount of chips who like cops.

21:02 Caller Well, there's that book, Chicks That Date Cops.

21:05 Adam Really?

21:05 Caller Yeah.

21:06 Adam Yeah.

21:06 Caller Well, was it a movie? Yeah, it might have been a movie.

21:08 Adam But the point is... Oh, you've seen LA.

21:09 Caller Comedential, right?

21:11 Adam There's a certain amount who aren't going to date one, and there's a certain amount who would do it just because he was a cop.

21:16 Best Of Or just meet another woman cop. There's a lot of... that's why they've got these girls in the control custody.

21:21 Caller People that like uniforms, right?

21:23 Adam Yeah.

21:23 Best Of All right.

21:24 Adam All right.

21:24 Drew But don't don't wear that anger on your so he is so closed off to all feeling that it is very difficult for other people to get in and reach him.

21:33 Best Of But that's him.

21:34 Drew And they sense the anger and the frustration and stuff. It pushes people.

21:37 Caller Well, it's hard being completely normal all the time, isn't it?

21:40 Best Of But he was feeling that because of his relationship, wasn't he?

21:44 Drew For what?

21:44 Best Of It's hard being completely normal all the time.

21:46 Drew It's very difficult. But the problem is though he is being trained not to feel and is getting angry. Right.

21:54 Caller Yeah, but relationships are a little different than, I don't know, judgments on criminal actions, no?

22:00 Drew No, no, no. If he is involved in violent interactions with humans every day and closed off to any feeling, it's difficult.

22:07 Caller Is he still on the line?

22:09 Best Of Is he still on the line? Yeah. Let me talk to him.

22:13 Adam John?

22:14 Caller John? Yes, hello?

22:16 Best Of John, do you know who Ronnie Coleman is?

22:18 Adam Oh, absolutely.

22:19 Caller He's a great bodybuilder.

22:21 Drew I work out with weights and one of his programs.

22:23 Caller So Ronnie Coleman is a cop, right? Yes, he is.

22:26 Best Of Works from 3 to 11.

22:27 Caller Yes, he is.

22:28 Best Of He's married. He's got like 3 kids or something. A religious man as well.

22:33 Caller Right.

22:33 Caller And he's a Mr. Olympia.

22:36 Adam Absolutely.

22:36 Caller So he's doing it all.

22:38 Adam Well, that's going to do it, John.

22:39 Caller I think one of the things that I mean in any profession, you tend to like to relate to people who are doing the same thing as you. But in something as intense as this, I think it's important to have some kind of a release. You know, and not be doing it 24 hours a day, every day.

22:56 Adam Right.

22:56 Best Of So he should-

22:57 Caller Don't be thinking it as well. You need to have some kind of time off.

23:01 Best Of Yeah.

23:02 Adam So find a felon or a school teacher or somebody who doesn't do what you do. All right. And keep working out.

23:11 Drew Keep hitting the way.

23:12 Caller We need somebody to cheer him up.

23:14 Drew All right.

23:14 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break after this. You're listening to the Best Of Loveline, Fourth of July edition. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Duran Duran has left the studio and here comes Matchbox 20.

23:37 Drew I've never heard of Tusk.

23:40 Adam Are you asking me with the Tusk?

23:42 Drew Tusk sang all the Fleetwood Mac stuff. Tusk?

23:46 Adam It was the USC marching band playing with Fleetwood Mac.

23:50 Drew Drew, you went to USC, you jackass. Oh, Jesus Christ.

23:55 Best Of You are my teacher. God, what I am.

23:59 Adam God, do I need a raise working with you. It's really.

24:02 Drew Do you know what they call it when the band and Fleetwood Mac are together?

24:06 Adam Well, that was Tusk was the name of the song. Oh, I see. You know what it's like working with Drew? Remember those episodes of Bewitched when she'd bring back like Benjamin Franklin? He'd walk around the house all big eyes. What is this box with images in it? That's called a television set. The phone would ring and he'd give a startled look. Why is she talking into that box? That's what it's like working with Drew, minus the powdered wig.

24:37 Drew Adam, there was so much comedy potential that they put it on a sitcom. Come on now. And he knows medicine, which is really important to allow my job.

24:46 Adam I swear I'm not so sure about that.

24:49 Best Of I don't know who to believe anymore.

24:51 Adam I really don't.

24:51 Thank God for Dr. Drew.

24:53 Adam All right. Let's say hi to Heidi and then we'll hear the new song entitled Tusk.

25:02 Best Of All right.

25:03 Adam I don't know who to root for.

25:04 Best Of All right.

25:04 Adam Heidi.

25:05 Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I'm talking to Matchbox 20. Oh my God.

25:08 Adam Yes.

25:08 Caller Hi. Hey.

25:09 Caller You've been very patient.

25:11 Yeah.

25:11 Adam Thank you.

25:12 Best Of First of all, Drew.

25:13 Caller Yeah.

25:14 I'd like to thank you for saving one of my friends' ass on prom night. I got some of your condoms.

25:19 Drew Oh my gosh.

25:20 Adam Oh my gosh.

25:21 Best Of Thank you.

25:22 Adam Hallelujah.

25:23 Best Of Nicely done.

25:23 Adam Drew sows each and every one of those by hand.

25:27 Drew We're giving you a condom for anybody who registers at dr.drew.com. Now you get more if you go to people. Adam? Free condoms right in the middle of the room.

25:33 Adam Is this Adam or Gainer?

25:36 Drew Adam Corolla.

25:37 Adam Yeah.

25:37 Drew Why are you doing that to me? It's true.

25:39 It's like being with Rob. I'm not bringing you anymore. I'm not bringing you anymore.

25:42 Adam This is very awkward for me.

25:43 Drew Can we just talk to Rob and talk to Adam?

25:46 Adam All right. So you want to talk to star Adam?

25:51 Drew I heard it's true.

25:52 My boyfriend watches his show.

25:54 Adam The Man Show.

25:55 He says that you need to move the camera angle up on the chicks on the trampoline.

26:00 Best Of Okay. We'll do that.

26:02 Adam Tell him to have another beer and we'll take care of that.

26:04 Best Of Yeah.

26:04 Caller You're your new boyfriend, honey.

26:05 Best Of All right.

26:06 Adam You have a question for Matchbox 20?

26:08 Best Of I love you. Thank you.

26:09 Caller Is that a question?

26:10 I love you, Adam.

26:11 I don't know your last name, but I love you too.

26:14 Drew You know what, Heidi? I've always been there for you, sweetie.

26:15 Best Of Honestly.

26:16 Actually, I bought your first album right after Long Day came out. Oh, wow.

26:21 Best Of Thank you.

26:22 Caller You're the one. Thank you.

26:24 Best Of One of my local radio stations played the hell out of it. Where was Heidi coming from?

26:31 Adam Home of the basketball.

26:32 Best Of It's in the twins.

26:34 Adam That's a very honest.

26:36 I'm going down. Do you play basketball?

26:39 Adam No. Heidi, do you have a question about the video?

26:42 Drew Lakers pulled it out from 16 Point Down. I don't know if you can do it. I know.

26:46 Adam I'm going to pull something out if they score another three-pointer. I'll tell you that.

26:50 Caller What's up?

26:50 Adam You have the question?

26:52 Best Of Yes.

26:52 I was wondering on your new video for Bent, what was the inspiration for you walking around and falling down and getting beaten up?

27:01 Best Of Falling down?

27:04 Caller It was funny.

27:05 The song itself we thought had an uplifting tone to it. We wanted to have that to be the video as just the idea of you keep getting knocked down and no matter what life there is, you keep getting back up. Then there was the underline of the idea that we had been right before we had the video. There were so many people after the Santana thing talking about if our band was mad at me or if they were jealous or if they had problems with the fact that the Grammys and everything had gone on. We thought it would be really funny if in the video we had our band beating me up. Originally the original plan for it in the original script for the video had Adam or Kyle beating me with a Grammy. Actually the Grammys wouldn't let us do it. They said, I want to use that license for the Grammy and beating somebody over the head with it. They said no go. Originally that was it.

27:48 Caller We used those two things.

27:49 Adam It's always great to, you call, I know how this works from the mansion, you call the place and you go, yeah we'd like to clearance to use the Grammy for a comedy bit we're doing. And they go, yeah that's great. Just fax us over a script of what you'll be doing with the Grammy. And you go, we don't have to fax the script. We're just going to be sort of showcasing it. Oh that's great. We appreciate that. Just fax it over because the script says Grammy gets rammed up ass of monkey. So you go, listen, I could fax over a script, but why kill a tree? We just wanted you to sign off on this because it's just in good fun. And they go, fine, just fax over. And we could lose the monkey. And then you go, okay, read the script, but put it in context.

28:37 Drew We're using a Yorkshire Terrier.

28:39 Adam So they said, no, you can't use it.

28:41 Caller Yeah, I ended up meeting with the video that we did.

28:43 They just beat me with their hands.

28:45 Adam Who's the man who cleared that?

28:46 Drew That sounded really weird though for Radio DeCourtesy.

28:49 Adam Who wanted us to be in the video? That was a say fair, I think.

28:54 Best Of I want to talk to Michael, Michelle down here. Michelle?

28:57 Yeah?

28:58 Adam You're 21?

28:59 Caller Yep.

28:59 Adam You got a bisexual girlfriend?

29:01 Caller Yeah. Well, I'm bisexual and we're both bisexual.

29:05 Adam I see. Sounds perfect.

29:08 Caller Yeah. She has a strap-on and she wants to have.

29:13 Adam Dear Lord, don't mess this call up. Go ahead.

29:16 Hello?

29:17 Adam Yes, please talk quickly.

29:19 Okay.

29:19 Caller I have a bisexual girlfriend and she has a strap-on and she wants to have anal sex with me with that. I think I'm afraid it's going to hurt.

29:28 Adam Yeah. Here's what I'd do. I would strap on an anus and let her go to town.

29:34 Caller I think that you should buy a varying degrees in size of strap-ons and just start with a really tiny one and then work your way up.

29:40 Adam Yeah, like those Russian dolls, those wooden ones.

29:42 Caller You can get the Tycho Starter anal kit. It's from, like, Slumko or something. Yeah, Play School.

29:49 Caller It's plastic.

29:50 Adam Yeah, Little Slut, Junior Starter. And it's called Anal-Buddy. Anal-Buddy, right. There's a bunch of different names, but they all make one to start with that and then you want to move your way up.

30:02 Caller Are you intrigued by this or are you disgusted by it or are you thinking about it?

30:06 Best Of Yeah.

30:07 Caller I'm thinking, but I'm kind of disgusted actually.

30:10 Drew Why would you do it or why would you even consider doing it? It's not something you want to do.

30:13 Caller I'm considering it, but I mean, I was thinking about it and I was thinking about all the problems. I mean, like, would I not be able to hold it in if I had to go to the bathroom or something, if this happened?

30:21 Drew No, that's not usually what comes.

30:23 Adam You mean during the act?

30:26 Caller No, like anytime.

30:27 Adam Oh, I see.

30:28 Caller You know, in all serious, it sounds funny that it's not. I mean, it's a common practice, so that's not a problem. Or else people would just be running around holding their asses all day.

30:35 Drew Well, it's not particularly healthy. You can cause fissures and tears and hemorrhoids and things, but to lead to incontinence, maybe inability to control all that, not that likely.

30:47 Caller Hey, does she want you to do it to her, by the way?

30:49 Drew I'm just curious about that.

30:50 Caller You just get some on by it, like, this idea of her doing it to me.

30:54 Drew Yeah, but why don't you just like bend her over first, and she's digging it.

30:58 Caller I don't really want to have blood sex with anybody.

31:00 Drew By the way, for all young ladies who have manopression and to do this, their animals just come up with the perfect company.

31:05 Adam Yeah, right? Yeah, the cramp on anus.

31:07 Drew Yeah.

31:08 Caller No, no, no, no.

31:09 Drew What Adam has come back with?

31:10 Adam Oh, that Adam.

31:11 Drew Yeah, which is, you know, hey, if you guys want to, if I have to serve that myself, just, all right, then I'm going to go out and I'm going to buy the anal buddy and I'm going to give it to my anal buddy.

31:20 Adam I still would like to credit for the strap on anal.

31:22 Drew Yeah, that was good. Anal buddies catch you though.

31:25 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

31:26 Best Of It is kind of cute.

31:27 Caller It could be a set.

31:28 You have a little smiley face on the end of it.

31:30 Best Of It's your anal friend. Yeah.

31:33 Adam With like, you know, some play time lubricant.

31:37 Caller Can you see the commercials? The little guy smiling, saying, Hi, I'm your anal buddy.

31:40 Drew You have glitter lubricant and the different colors.

31:46 Adam They still sell those fake cigarettes at the store, those candy cigarettes.

31:50 Drew I got some cigarettes the other day.

31:51 Caller Do you think that that's responsible for like why I smoke? When I was eight years old, I used to shoot those candy cigarettes and how I smoke was mean.

31:58 Drew I built one of your parents' smokes. Oh, yeah.

32:00 Caller Definitely.

32:00 Drew There you go. That's why I play smoke.

32:01 Caller Couldn't beat it for the fake cigarettes.

32:03 Drew No, not the fake cigarettes. I thought you did the fake cigarettes because you wanted to be cool like your parents. But you smoke because your parents want you to.

32:07 Adam All right. We are going to hear something. We're going to hear something from Matchbox 20 right now.

32:14 Best Of This is off of, what the hell is the name?

32:18 Adam Mad Season by Matchbox 20 and this one is called Ben.

36:38 Best Of That's a recognition of the person.

36:40 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Rob Thomas is doing this trick where he takes his beer and he puts it through his nose. And Adam Gaynor.

36:51 Best Of That's Adam.

36:52 Adam Both here.

36:52 Best Of You call him Adam.

36:54 Adam Right. Matchbox 20. And we were just talking out there because Adam's on his fifth melon wine cooler.

37:00 Best Of Yeah.

37:00 Adam And we were talking off the air about the... About the... It sounds like I like the breezers. The yummy phase is something that I...

37:09 Drew I wanted to learn more about this. If I'm going through it, I need to know what the yummy phase is.

37:12 Adam Well, it's not that you go through it if you never get out of it.

37:15 Best Of Yeah. I'm stuck.

37:16 Adam And here's my theory on this. I know a couple of guys like this. Everybody starts off in the yummy phase. I mean, Drew, you have a couple of seven, three seven-year-olds, right?

37:29 Drew It is sweets and potato French fries.

37:32 Adam Then we eat pudding and French fries, right?

37:34 Best Of And kool-aid.

37:35 Drew High fat, high sugar.

37:35 Best Of Right.

37:36 Adam And everyone goes through that. And then it stays with you for a while. And then somewhere around, I don't know, 13, 14, you start getting into like a steak and maybe some stew.

37:48 Caller A vegetable. A vegetable.

37:50 Adam You pick a vegetable or two, but it's not liver and it's not mushrooms or anything. Maybe a little broccoli or asparagus or something. But then as you get older, especially for men, and men do this, they start getting into brandy and they start getting into beer. And then eventually can spin out into like monkey brains and stuff like that.

38:09 Caller Do you think they've lost the pretense that like they like to drink?

38:12 Caller I used to, you know, you could, well, I like to drink, but now it just looks good.

38:15 Caller I just want to get drunk. I'll just drink whatever it tastes, just to get quick.

38:17 Drew I love it. Some of it's a biological change.

38:19 Adam You know what I did?

38:20 Drew To get a sensory experience.

38:21 Adam And some of it is acquired. I got addicted to Manischewitz wine for two weeks. Right. I was just drinking it.

38:27 Drew You understand what that is? I'm a nice Jewish boy and it's the stuff you drink at Passover. And I was like, man, I went out and I bought a bottle for the house. I'm 30 years old. I got problems.

38:38 Adam Yeah, because Manischewitz really is the Jewish wine cool.

38:41 Best Of Yeah.

38:42 Adam But it's the reason.

38:43 Caller It's like a Jewish thunderbird.

38:45 Drew The reason Jews do not throw up alcohol.

38:46 Best Of Exactly.

38:47 Adam It's kosher too.

38:48 Drew It's such a traumatic experience to drink that as wine.

38:52 Adam It's really fortified Jewish wine. So my yummy face theory goes that you start to progress and usually by 19 or 20 or something like that you start getting into maybe tobacco, cigars, chewing tobacco, cigarettes, hookers, start getting into beer. They start getting into eating plumb tanks. You know what I'm saying? These are all things that are yummy face. They're not on the menu.

39:15 Best Of That's for the yummy face.

39:17 Adam That ain't the yummy face. That's after the yummy face.

39:21 Best Of A post.

39:22 Adam Yeah. He took one of Drew's triplets and told them to go down on a hooker. They'd be like, no way, unless you put some pudding down there. Come on.

39:32 Caller I don't even want to be here anymore.

39:33 Adam That would be a good training device for you. But a lot of guys, not a lot of guys, but some guys I've met, they just stay in the yummy face. They never get out. It's wine coolers and pixie sticks for the rest of their lives.

39:48 Caller I was 36 years old.

39:49 Drew I didn't start drinking coffee until I was 30.

39:51 Caller That's awesome.

39:53 Adam And when you do drink coffee, there's a ton of cream.

39:55 Drew I put chocolate in it.

39:56 Caller I won't drink it without chocolate.

39:58 Adam It's a ton of sugar.

40:00 Drew Caramel macchiato.

40:01 Adam It's like melted ice cream.

40:02 Caller I just chew on the beans. I'm here with you.

40:06 Adam You're nowhere near the yummy. To me, I'm trying to think, but when you start getting into some serious raw fish caviar, that kind of stuff, you're way out of the yummy. If you have some brandy, smoke a cigar, and eat some caviar, you're way out of the yummy.

40:20 Drew I'm not ready for that.

40:21 Adam No, you're in the yummy side.

40:22 Best Of I'm 36 and I'm not ready for that.

40:24 Drew You're a girl who drinks drunk.

40:25 Adam Yeah. Andrea, you're 17. What's up?

40:29 Caller Okay.

40:31 Caller Every time I have an orgasm, no matter if it's sex or oral sex, sometimes I cry afterwards.

40:39 Drew How about if you masturbate?

40:41 Caller Masturbate at all.

40:42 Best Of No, you don't.

40:43 Adam Do you think you would start crying if you did?

40:46 Caller No, probably not.

40:48 Adam My maid cries when I masturbate, by the way. I had it up to here with my hand.

40:52 Drew Oh my God. I'm going to cry all these days.

40:57 Best Of I can't believe she's 17.

40:57 Caller She has all these orgasms to compare it to.

40:59 Drew Yeah. That's unusual right there. That's true.

41:02 Best Of My boyfriend likes to spoil me with oral sex.

41:06 Drew Why do you think it wouldn't happen with masturbation?

41:08 Caller Excuse me?

41:09 Drew Why do you think that the crying wouldn't occur with masturbation?

41:12 Adam Give it a try now. We'll wait.

41:13 Best Of No, no, no.

41:14 Caller It's like I think when I'm with my boyfriend it's really emotional and by myself that wouldn't do anything for me.

41:22 Drew So why is it so intensely emotional? Is there any issues?

41:25 Caller No, I don't know.

41:26 Best Of That's why I'm crying.

41:28 Drew It could be a good thing, right?

41:29 Caller Does it bother you just that you cry or is there something else that comes with it?

41:32 Drew She's just wondering.

41:33 Caller I'm not upset. I'm not mad. I'm not angry. It's just like I'll have a really good orgasm and then I'll be like, I think it's beautiful.

41:40 Caller Are you head over heels and love to release?

41:42 Caller I'm totally in love.

41:43 Drew There you go, baby. It's a good thing, I think. Maybe one day you'll get a grasp and you'll get bored of them and you'll stop crying, but I think right now...

41:48 Best Of I always enjoy it.

41:49 Caller It always seems like if you really intensely hate someone, if you really intensely love someone, the difference between those two emotions is really scarce. Everything that comes with those emotions, the heatedness, the loss of being able to think straight, all that is the same. That one little component that makes it different. It would be the same way. This is such an intense emotion that it would cause you to do something because it's this release and this unloading.

42:12 Adam How old is your boyfriend?

42:13 Caller He's the same age, but it's like...

42:14 Adam All right. I'm all right with you. You know what?

42:16 Caller 17 and he's spoiling you with oral sex, I say he's on the right track.

42:20 Adam He's like a keeper. He's way out of the yummy phase this time. All right, Andrea.

42:24 Caller Thank you.

42:25 Adam Don't question it. You're fine. Yes. Enjoy. Enjoy. Catherine.

42:30 Caller Hi.

42:31 Adam Hey, you're 14. What's up?

42:32 Caller I have a question on Matchbox 20.

42:34 Best Of Okay.

42:35 Caller Adam, I love you from Matchbox 20.

42:38 Caller You know, this is why I stay here this long, by the way.

42:40 Best Of It was really close to leaving.

42:42 Drew I'm having another wine clear just for you.

42:44 Best Of Thank you.

42:45 Caller I also like, firstly, you have the 20 with like two zero.

42:50 Drew Yeah.

42:50 Caller On it, sell that 20.

42:52 Best Of Why did you do this to us, man?

42:53 Caller Everything was getting longer.

42:54 Drew Didn't your semester English teacher call you on that?

42:58 Caller Actually, I just want to say just because we asked in every interview and it was made like such a big thing. It wasn't at all. But we didn't change our name. We did it on our record. We spelled it out. We don't care how people write it. It was in Entertainment Weekly that we were the loser of the week because I made a joke that we were sick of being compared to bands like Blink 182 and Eiffel 65, which I thought was an obvious joke. The sarcasm in print doesn't translate ever. It just came out and people thought that we were just way too precious for our own good. The truth is we didn't change our name. We just wrote it differently on our records.

43:30 Drew You can call us the verb pipe.

43:31 Adam Yeah.

43:31 Best Of It doesn't matter.

43:32 Caller You can call us whatever you want.

43:33 Best Of It's fine.

43:34 Adam It was just something that we wanted to have it written out and we thought it was a cool, fun little idea.

43:38 Best Of We like to see it and we had to put out a press release. That's how it works in this business.

43:42 Drew It was in no way supposed to be noteworthy.

43:44 Adam Yeah.

43:44 Caller Okay, cool. You guys, thank you so much.

43:46 Caller You're welcome.

43:47 Adam Thanks, Gavr.

43:48 Caller You guys are god.

43:49 Drew You are god.

43:52 Caller Take care.

43:54 Adam Hey, now it's a god reference.

43:55 Drew Are you okay with that whole my reference?

43:57 Adam I was, yeah.

43:58 Drew Okay. Because that made me feel really good.

44:00 Caller I'm having another one.

44:03 Adam I get the feeling you'd have one no matter what. This is the 3.2 alcohol by Volley.

44:09 Drew I am so wasted.

44:10 Caller Why was that guy that would drink a non-alcoholic beer and be like, I'm so wasted?

44:15 Drew I never did that.

44:16 Caller I'll be honest.

44:17 Drew I'm confessing a lot tonight, guys.

44:18 Caller I have not drank. And then we go, but there's no alcohol in it. You go, oh, but no, I feel something.

44:23 Best Of I'm having a flashback from that non-alcoholic beer.

44:26 Adam Then you do a line of baking so it'll do a little freeze with it and go. And then you smoke some oregano.

44:30 Best Of You smoke some oregano.

44:32 Adam Now, Drew, what is beer by volume? What is the alcohol on that? 6.9?

44:36 Drew 6.9? Is it 6 something? What do you got? That's 4.

44:41 Adam All right. So, Adam, get moving with those wine coolers.

44:44 Drew I'm telling you, I had three in the car over here.

44:47 Adam You got to drink two for every one beer that Rob drinks.

44:50 Drew I'll be up all night.

44:50 Caller We don't drink anymore, which is the funny thing. I just lost like 40 pounds because I stopped being a drunkard and I was drinking a lot. I stopped drinking after every show and I stopped having it. It was a funny thing. It was a conscious decision. We were coming here and the other times we've been here we couldn't do it without a little beer so now we're so happy when you're lost.

45:15 Adam Game on. We'll see you guys when you're 600 pounds. All right. That is it. Matchbox 20 just came in for the first hour fans. We do really appreciate you guys coming by. It's so nice to see you and Drew and I know you'll back me up on this. How nice you guys are. How little success has changed.

45:33 Drew Absolutely.

45:34 Adam Thank you. There were eight holes two years ago.

45:37 Drew You have us coming.

45:38 Adam Thanks for coming in guys. We do appreciate it. We'll be right back after this. Welcome back to the Best Of Loveline, Fourth of July edition. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. We're not in studio tonight. I'm lighting my neighbor's house on fire and I'm drunk right now. But the good news is we have Eve six. Max, Tony, John are all here from Eve six. We'll hear something off of Horoscope, the new CD which will be out end of July. We'll have more premier song and just a few. But we've got a few things to take care of first. We're talking about the bathroom and gas stations. I just want to get this off my chest real quick. If any of you people are working at gas stations, I'm currently listening to the radio within the sound of my voice or know somebody who does and know one, at least in the LA area. My message is drop the goddamn attitude. All of you, all of you, mostly some bizarre foreigners, but everyone who gets behind that bulletproof glass, picks up the attitude and I wish you just drop it. Here's the deal, say thank you, toss in a come again. Do one of those, how's it going? Give me a heart attack. Say something once in a while. You are the rudest band of mother F'ers I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with. If I didn't need gas, I swear to God I'd refine my own not to have to deal with you pack a moron.

47:17 Drew Remember this is Los Angeles though that has it like this. It's probably most major cities I suspect.

47:21 Adam Los Angeles, I want to do a poll sometime, has to have the meanest gas station attendance in the world. I would quit them against any of them. They've already done that poll. It's true. The guys in Beirut have more de cora than the A-holes I have to deal with in the Hollywood area. Does everyone know what I'm talking about? Whether you're filling up, buying a pack of cigarettes or a Snickers bar, you get that evil eye and they throw the change at you and they've never, I mean it's never, hey, how you doing or hey, you're back again. I mean, you're dealing with the same guys over and over. It's not, hey, you're back. What's going on? How's that going? How's that shaking? It's just they, it is, it's not even a sort of a distracted kind of thing. It is intentionally mean. It's what happens, by the way, when someone has something that you need. That's the attitude. You know what I mean? Where are you going? I'm going to candy bars with your cigarettes. Yeah, it's 4 a.m. You need a six-pack and a pack of smokes. Where the hell are you going, a mops house? Come on. That's right. You're lucky I don't keep the change.

48:37 Best Of Let me enjoy the moment of making you piss off for just a second and I'll give you a cigarette.

48:40 Adam Right. And here's the deal. I understand you're upset because you're trapped in a box. But here's the deal. I did not put you in that box. I'm not the zookeeper. I'm not your parents. I'm not the mad scientist who's doing the experiment on you. I'm not the college student who got the grant to keep you in the box. You put yourself in the box. So say thank you, god damn it. It drives me nuts. It's like it's not okay. I wish I would boycott the gas station that had that attitude, except for that is the entire Southland and I could no longer get gas. I do that all the time. I go into one gas station, I go, this guy's a son of a bitch. Forget him. I'll take my business down the street. Then I go down the street and I go, well, this guy just got done performing a ritualistic murder in the back. I mean, he took a goat's head off back there. I'm going back to the first guy. Everyone in this town and especially in Hollywood who runs a gas station is evil.

49:39 Drew Evil.

49:40 Adam God, you guys, what is up with you?

49:42 Best Of I wish I could abuse them somehow. How can I pay them back?

49:45 Best Of I'm going to break it in the box somehow.

49:47 Adam Yeah. You get a lot of attitude when there's bulletproof glass between you and the guy who needs a pack of smokes. You're all attitude. I mean, I know you get shot once in a while, but isn't it a small price to pay for the threat that we have over them so that they would be courteous? You know what I'm saying?

50:07 Best Of No.

50:09 Adam I hate all this.

50:11 Best Of I'm so upset.

50:12 Adam I feel raped by them.

50:14 Drew Speaking of rape.

50:15 Adam Speaking of rape. Lisa.

50:17 Best Of Hi.

50:18 Adam So you're in a bathroom of a gas station.

50:22 Best Of Yes.

50:22 Drew How old were you?

50:23 Best Of What?

50:24 Drew How old were you? When did this happen?

50:26 Caller I had just turned 17.

50:28 Adam This didn't happen in Los Angeles, did it?

50:31 Best Of No.

50:31 Caller It happened in Denver, Colorado.

50:33 Adam That's right. You know why?

50:34 Best Of Why?

50:34 Adam Because you can't use the bathroom in Los Angeles. It's out of order. So what happened?

50:44 Caller It was not a gas station attendant. It was actually an ex-boyfriend. I had been out drinking with him that night and a few other people. I told him that I felt nauseous, so he pulled over and helped me to the bathroom. It happened from there.

51:02 Adam Can't you, by the way, don't you just heave out the window? You know what I mean? Just heave out of the car?

51:09 Caller Well, I was trying to be courteous and not get it all over the car.

51:12 Adam No, I mean just out into the gutter.

51:15 Caller Well, I guess.

51:18 Adam What time of night was this?

51:20 Caller Probably 11, 11.30.

51:22 Drew Was it the first time you had sex with him?

51:24 Caller Yes. He was an ex-boyfriend at that point.

51:26 Drew Were you a virgin at the time?

51:28 Caller No.

51:28 Adam Well, wait a minute. But had you had sex with him?

51:31 Best Of Not with him, no.

51:33 Adam No, you just answered it by saying he was an ex-boyfriend, but you guys never had sex while you were together.

51:40 Best Of No, we didn't.

51:41 Caller I see.

51:42 Adam And you went in, he came in, he raped you after you just got done throwing up?

51:48 Caller Yes.

51:50 Best Of Well, he bought me a toothbrush first.

51:53 Adam He brought you a toothbrush and he let you brush your teeth and then he raped you?

51:58 Caller Yes. It makes no sense.

51:59 Drew What do you remember when this happened? Was it one of the things where you just got going and said no and he kept pushing or was it a violent thing?

52:09 Caller It was a violent thing. Basically, I was held down.

52:16 Drew We got to explore why somebody like that would be your boyfriend in the first place ever.

52:21 Caller Yes. I had no clue. I had absolutely, this sounds ridiculous, but I had absolutely no clue that he was even capable of that type of thing.

52:30 Drew Right.

52:31 Caller Well, the thing that makes it worse is he was not drinking that night at all. It was his liquor that I was drinking. He was the one pushing me and pushing me to drink more.

52:40 Drew How old was he?

52:41 Caller He was the same age, 17.

52:43 Drew All right.

52:44 Adam And what did you do about this?

52:46 Caller Nothing.

52:47 Drew You didn't tell the police?

52:48 Caller No.

52:49 Drew How come?

52:49 Caller Because, I don't know, I just kind of pretended it didn't happen for about two months.

52:55 Drew So, first time you ever been raped? Yeah.

52:59 Adam Now then, how's the family?

53:02 Caller How's my family?

53:03 Best Of Yeah.

53:04 Caller Okay.

53:05 Best Of My dad's kind of an ass.

53:07 Caller He is, right.

53:08 Adam Does he drink or anything like that?

53:12 Caller He drinks every night, but I've never seen him drunk before.

53:15 Drew Does he get kind of aggressive with you?

53:17 Caller He's more of a kind of, he's more of emotional abuse than anything else.

53:22 Best Of Yeah.

53:23 Adam We're trying to figure out why he got hooked up with this a-hole.

53:25 Caller I don't know.

53:26 Adam Well, we know now, your dad's kind of an a-hole.

53:29 Caller Yeah.

53:30 Best Of Yeah.

53:31 Adam All right. So there's nothing we can do about it or nothing you can do about it right now. I mean, I guess legally, although maybe you should still report it just to get it on the guy's record so that if and when he tries it again, there's something on there. You know what I'm saying?

53:45 Best Of Yeah.

53:46 Drew It also sort of helps break that cycle you're in where you're such a good victim. It's time to realize that you're worth more than that and that people, it's not okay for people to abuse you. Just because dad has done that your whole life, made you feel like you're the kind of person that sort of should accept that kind of abuse. It's not all right.

54:03 Best Of Okay?

54:05 Caller I go to school with him.

54:06 Drew So. You should have thought about that before he did this.

54:11 Best Of Oh, sure.

54:12 Adam All right. Well, report it. Would you please?

54:15 Drew I will.

54:16 Adam Okay. And you got to get all counseling too, all right?

54:19 Drew Yeah.

54:20 Adam All right.

54:21 Caller You know what I'm saying? Really quick. Yeah. I was calling for you guys about this incident. I have not been able to have any kind of relationship with anybody without cheating on them. And I, last summer, especially, I had sex with over 10 people within two months. Right after it happened and I didn't know if that had anything to do with it because I'm not like that at all.

54:42 Best Of And yeah, obviously it does.

54:43 Drew And it's sort of releasing some problems, some aggression, some feelings you have about man and intimacy and guys were a-holes. It's difficult to trust them, I'm sure.

54:53 Caller Okay.

54:54 Drew So it is time to talk about looking at this and talk to me about it, okay? Okay. Okay.

55:00 Caller Thank you.

55:00 Adam Good luck.

55:01 Caller Bye.

55:02 Adam I'm going to, she needs to go to a support group or something, right? Yeah, Rick, I'm sure it will be great. I'm going to form a support group for people who have to deal with that. Yeah, and listen, I know we're on a national level and I know maybe, I don't know where Union 76 is based or Chevron or Mobil or any of those places, but especially 76, but Murph, the nice red-haired guy who helped to change the flat, he's dead. He is dead. Remember Murph from Union 76? He's come on out, nice big red pork chop sideburns.

55:46 Caller How you doing, ma'am?

55:47 Adam It looks like you're court-low. No, he's been replaced. He's been replaced by a guy who worships Allah and wants to see you dead.

55:57 Caller Believe me.

55:58 Adam Believe me. And if anybody in any of these corporations, whether it be Chevron or Mobile or 76 or Arco or any of you guys are listening, all of your LA guys need to be fired or killed. Let loose something. I don't know if you're franchise, they must franchise these things out. They are colossal a-holes, all of them. Please go check up on them and do something about it. Isn't it their job?

56:27 Drew It's so systematic though, it must be something in the franchise manual.

56:30 Adam All of them? Every 76 station has a rude a-hole behind the counter? Is that all they, only franchise them to horrible, heinous people? Is that how it goes?

56:41 Drew The guy behind the counter isn't necessarily the franchise owner, he's the guy that fits the profile that the franchise wants you to put in.

56:47 Adam Yeah, so you're saying it's right in the book? You have to want your patrons to die after they fill up?

56:53 Best Of There's something there.

56:54 Adam I swear to you, please.

56:55 Best Of Maybe they think you'll come to the station more if you know that this guy hates you and so you think they think, you know, you want to be a support.

57:02 Adam You want to keep going and say a magic just like you know. Right, right. Yeah, I'm not feeling too good about myself.

57:07 Drew I think I'll top off. You know, there's a lot of victims out there, Adam.

57:11 Adam Yeah, maybe you're right.

57:12 Drew Perpetuate that victim role, boy. Even at the gas station, man.

57:15 Adam Oh, thank you. I'm sorry. It's all coming to an emotional head tonight, but I swear, they're all evil. All of them.

57:27 Drew You're just not a good victim. You're not good in that role.

57:30 Adam It's got to be the fumes or something in there.

57:32 Caller Alicia?

57:34 Best Of Yeah.

57:34 Adam You're 29.

57:35 Best Of Yeah.

57:35 Caller What's up?

57:36 Caller Well, I just wanted to know. I scored during orgasm and I was wanting to know if that was normal. I talked to a few other people and they don't have that.

57:44 Best Of They don't do that.

57:45 Drew Not everyone has that talent.

57:47 Adam During oral sex too?

57:49 Caller No, I wish, but no.

57:52 Adam No? But yeah, because that's-

57:53 Caller No, not really. Usually-

57:54 Adam You put the guy's cigarette out if you do it during that. Do you have an orgasm during oral sex? Yes, I do. You do, but you don't squirt then? I don't know.

58:07 Best Of I guess sometimes I do.

58:09 Caller Usually, at that point, I really don't pay attention, but usually when having intercourse and stuff like that, I really notice.

58:16 Drew What I'm most interested in, as far as it goes to this phenomenon, is how ashamed women are who have this.

58:24 Best Of Well, I'm not really ashamed.

58:25 Caller It's just really bizarre because I've never heard of anybody-

58:28 Drew It's very common. It's very common. It's not bizarre, but bizarre implies certain amount of discomfort with it just by calling it bizarre and how delighted guys are with women who can do this. Yeah, I mean, sure, it's totally delighted.

58:39 Adam Well, because they can't be faking it. And we've worked the hell out of them so hard that something actually came out of them.

58:47 Caller Wow, what an experience.

58:48 Adam Yeah, it's a payday. And think about that. I mean, you women, you're unlucky enough in a way or lucky enough to have a sort of physical manifestation of our pleasure. Sure, it tastes like hell and, you know, burns your eye. And it's like, you know, ashes coming out of an alien. But the point is, is you get a souvenir. You get a spoo-venir, if you will.

59:17 Drew A spew-venir.

59:18 Adam A spew-venir is what you get. You really do. It's something you have to take home, something you tell mother about. And us guys, even though it's great to see a woman have an orgasm, we always in the back of our mind are hearing about faking it all the time. We never quite know if it actually went down or not.

59:35 Drew Well, most of the guys are very concrete. They like to build things and get things and create things. Things have to be, you have to see it happen to know it's there. They're all splooges, tangible. It's like splooging air.

59:46 Adam Yeah, yeah. And so, I think I'm going to punch it.

59:49 Drew So, Elisa, this bizarre thing we have has generated 10 minutes of discussion here amongst these males.

59:53 Adam Yeah. So, you should be alright with that. I should be alright with that.

59:57 Best Of Yeah.

59:57 Adam I got to, but here's the downside. I got to tell you, after like the seventh year of marriage, it might get a little old. You know what I mean?

1:00:04 Best Of Yeah.

1:00:05 Adam With these seltzer bottle gag in the face, you know, if you're going down on somebody. You know, you can only flip the mattress once.

1:00:13 Caller I mean, that's my, you know, another.

1:00:15 Drew There's a series of brands down there that some women produce enough fluids to emit, project.

1:00:22 Caller Does it always kind of like smell weird or something?

1:00:24 Drew Not necessarily, no.

1:00:26 Caller Okay.

1:00:26 Adam Is that you?

1:00:27 Caller Well, no, it just doesn't smell like me, you know, doesn't smell normal.

1:00:32 Drew Could it be urine?

1:00:33 Caller No, it's not urine. I know what urine smells like, but it doesn't smell like that at all. It just, it doesn't have like any, I mean, it has like an odor, but it doesn't punch in, you know, it just doesn't smell like that would normally smell.

1:00:45 Adam Well, listen, most everything that comes out of you smells. Eric?

1:00:49 Caller Yeah.

1:00:50 Adam You're 17.

1:00:51 Best Of Yeah. Well, my girlfriend has a thing called an ovarian cyst, and I was wondering if we would have to have sex with it, it would affect her anyway.

1:00:59 Drew Well, probably not. Ovarian cysts are very, very, very common, like most women get them sometime. It's just a simple cyst, that's indeed what it is, just something left behind by ovulation basically.

1:01:11 Adam Sure, yeah. We got to talk to Renee.

1:01:13 Drew You've been going heavy, heavy, heavy, and I've been trying to mix it up.

1:01:16 Best Of Wow, don't whack your hand.

1:01:18 Adam Renee?

1:01:19 Drew Yes?

1:01:19 Best Of All right.

1:01:20 Adam We want to get back with you because your mom molested you. Maybe. But what you described doesn't sound like serious molesting. It sounds like it's open to interpretation.

1:01:35 Caller No, it was molesting.

1:01:37 Adam How do you know? Why do you feel that way?

1:01:39 Caller Because she would violate me and-

1:01:42 Drew She put it on the inside of your vagina?

1:01:43 Caller No, she never did that. She would just use her hands near my vagina and on my breasts and whatnot.

1:01:50 Drew Maybe she would be trying to arouse you?

1:01:53 Caller I don't know. I was very, very young. I think it happened even before I could remember.

1:01:57 Adam Well, I assume the same with my parents.

1:01:59 Caller Because, I mean, at the point when I was in fourth grade, I was having intimate relationships with people in fourth grade also. I mean, I would think that in fourth grade, I should not know what that kind of stuff is.

1:02:12 Drew Well, that is true, but I wonder if somebody up here maybe sexually abused you, and then you started sexualizing the experience with your mom.

1:02:21 Adam Did your mom, did she put her hands in you?

1:02:25 Caller No, she did not.

1:02:27 Adam And you say she felt your breasts, but you don't have any hand breasts then?

1:02:31 Caller Yeah, she would.

1:02:31 Adam When I'm in charge, you will. I mean, a fourth grader will have breasts, but-

1:02:35 Drew Renee, when parents tickle their kids, they tickle them all over.

1:02:38 Caller No, not like this.

1:02:41 Drew She was too young to remember it.

1:02:42 Best Of Yeah, I can remember it.

1:02:44 Caller Yeah, I can. And even to this day, she still touches me and stuff and it buzzes me. And I tell her to stop doing it. And she says, Oh, you know, I love you. That's just the way I show my affection towards you. And I'm like, I don't like it, mom.

1:02:56 Adam You're 22?

1:02:57 Best Of I'm 22 and she still does it.

1:02:59 Drew What does she do?

1:03:01 Best Of She does.

1:03:01 Caller She just like, she'll grab my, my butt and she'll like, she'll like grab my, my chest and whatnot.

1:03:08 Drew Grab your chest.

1:03:10 Caller What do you mean?

1:03:11 Adam But what, what do you feel that she's trying to accomplish by this? Do you think she's trying to arouse herself or arouse you?

1:03:19 Caller I don't know. I, I talked to my father about it just about a month ago. It's the first time I told him about it. And he blamed himself because my father is gay. So, I mean, therefore, at the time whenever it was basically happening, he was blaming himself because they were having a very, very hard relationship. They were not having sex. They hadn't had sex for a long time. After that, they had gotten separated and then they got back together trying to work it out and then they ended up getting divorced. And so basically she was having, they were having no sex whatsoever. My father was blaming himself for it.

1:03:50 Drew You're misinterpreting a lot of stuff here.

1:03:52 Adam Yeah.

1:03:53 Drew People do not molest children because of sexual deprivation. And if that's, if her intent was a sexual discharge, she wasn't heading in that direction. It wasn't even a sexualized experience. Yeah.

1:04:06 Adam I mean, you know, whether she was trying to provide some arousal for herself or for you, it doesn't sound like she was doing either one. Now it sounds like she was a little out of line and maybe she's got some problems and I don't trust her. But to call it molested, it seems strange.

1:04:26 Drew It's just that poor boundaries. They'll listen to you. Certainly, you were sexually abused as a young child, but up here, or at least you participated in an abusive sort of relationship with somebody.

1:04:37 Caller Okay?

1:04:38 Drew But it doesn't happen, as you point out, that if a fourth grader knows about sexualization, there's been sexualization, overtly. You wouldn't think that somebody touching your butt or around your vagina was a sexual thing. It would have hurt you at age nine.

1:04:56 Best Of But under the clothes? Well, unless...

1:04:59 Caller Is that considered normal?

1:05:00 Adam Listen, I don't want to go camping with your mom. Don't get me wrong. And I don't know what she was doing. And I don't want to defend her too much. But on the other hand, you know, we sit here all night and talk to people who were molested. And they were molested. You were molested. It's a little different.

1:05:22 Drew You see what I'm saying?

1:05:23 Adam I mean, you were kind of...

1:05:25 Drew Inappropriately touched.

1:05:26 Adam You were like a goose but not molested.

1:05:29 Drew Inappropriately touching is not a good thing. I don't offend that. But it doesn't create a child then who knows how to engage in sexual activity. So something else, either the other child understood that and came on to you and abused you or something else had happened to you.

1:05:44 Adam Why else do you hate your mom?

1:05:45 Caller I don't hate my mom. I love my mom.

1:05:47 Adam You do?

1:05:49 Caller I live in the town right next to her and I see her every day. I still love her.

1:05:55 Best Of Because she's my mother.

1:05:56 Adam Who cares? I barely like my mom. She only molested me twice. Hey, should you be on some medication, Renee?

1:06:06 Caller I can't afford it.

1:06:07 Adam What are you supposed to be on?

1:06:09 Caller I'm supposed to be on a Zoloft.

1:06:13 Drew What's your diagnosis?

1:06:15 Caller Manic depression.

1:06:16 Adam Yeah.

1:06:17 Drew Is there something else too going on?

1:06:19 Caller I have a lot of problems.

1:06:22 Drew Are you a multiple?

1:06:23 Caller Excuse me?

1:06:24 Adam Multiple personality?

1:06:25 Drew Associative?

1:06:25 Caller No.

1:06:26 Drew Are you sure?

1:06:28 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:06:30 Caller Data entry.

1:06:31 Adam I see. Can you see about getting on some meds?

1:06:35 Caller I could try, but I don't have insurance. That's why I want to see if there's something else I could do other than counseling because I can't afford it.

1:06:42 Drew There are bipolar groups out there and you go to EA, Emotions Anonymous.

1:06:46 Best Of Really?

1:06:47 Caller I also have problems along with cutting out, like fibrillation. I don't know how that has anything to do with being bipolar or not.

1:06:56 Drew Not necessarily. Acute mania, sometimes that happens. Renee, do you have periods of time where you sort of don't know where you've been or what you've been doing, that kind of thing?

1:07:04 Caller No, I don't have that.

1:07:05 Adam I do. It's called the weekend. All right. Hey, Renee? Listen, you got to spend less time focusing on your mom and more time focusing on you.

1:07:16 Drew In the hair and the hair area.

1:07:17 Adam And see about getting into some of these groups and counseling and all that kind of stuff. And whatever.

1:07:21 Drew You get a poor bit of treatment, too.

1:07:23 Adam Yeah. I mean, and by the way, don't hang out with your mom so much. All right. I mean, it's bizarre that she waxes on for six minutes about how she was definitely molested by her mother. And she still does it to this day. And then with the next press says, I see her every day. She's in the next town.

1:07:43 Best Of Oh, we love each other.

1:07:44 Adam We love each other. Different voice. And turn into a, yes. Yeah. So turn into that simple voice. So some is definitely going on there. But I don't think it was the molestation.

1:07:58 Drew Seemed like she wanted to pin something on her mom, but didn't have anything to pin on her or something.

1:08:02 Adam She, I think there's more than one personality or.

1:08:06 Drew I agree with you.

1:08:07 Adam Which is the polar opposite of me, which is.

1:08:10 Drew No personality.

1:08:11 Adam To be fair, I have half a personality. Come on.

1:08:14 Caller It's a mean.

1:08:17 Adam Why don't we, hey Anderson, let's hear the new song. What do you say?

1:08:20 Best Of We've got to break a little late. That's a good time.

1:08:24 Drew We're already four minutes late.

1:08:25 Adam We're not four minutes. What do you mean, we're already four minutes late?

1:08:28 Best Of I'm supposed to.

1:08:30 Drew We're a minute early.

1:08:31 Best Of Short song. Yeah.

1:08:33 Adam Come on, Anderson.

1:08:34 Drew The big man.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah, that's right. There it is from Horoscope by Eve Six. This one's called Promise. Welcome back to the Best Of Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Do not bother calling us or faxing us. We will not be here to hear your pleas. But I'll tell you who will be here, the Goo Goo Dolls. Johnny and Michael both here from the Goo Goo Dolls tonight. We will hear something not off of Dizzy Up The Girl, but a new single, right? That's one of the songs. Oh, it is? Yeah. Jesus Christ, you're still releasing the single?

1:12:10 Caller Yeah, no, because I'm rewriting this. We're trying to buy time so we can write another record.

1:12:14 Caller What, just milking it?

1:12:16 Adam I thought, I thought, I didn't even know. I thought Broadway was just a single that you guys were going to release. Does anyone ever do that?

1:12:24 Drew Or do you just think people do that?

1:12:26 Caller I think that's happening more now because of all the boy bands, I think.

1:12:30 Adam Like, you got, let's say you got now, like Dizzy Up The Girl has been out for a little while.

1:12:34 Caller Two and a half years.

1:12:35 Adam And you're not coming out with another one for a little bit. It was like in between, you throw them a bone or something. That's what I thought.

1:12:42 Caller I was thinking about doing something like an EP or something like that. But you know, it's just kind of weird to try and write, write like that.

1:12:51 Caller Well, also if you come out 26 weeks ago, it came out.

1:12:54 Adam It wasn't that long ago.

1:12:54 Best Of I was, somebody said that that's wrong.

1:12:57 Drew Come on, September of 98, whatever.

1:12:59 Adam All right.

1:12:59 Caller Well, it hasn't even been two years.

1:13:01 Adam The point is, is triple platinum, everyone, and going for whatever the name is for forpil.

1:13:07 Drew Forpil.

1:13:09 Best Of Going for forpil.

1:13:11 Adam What do you get? What's the next one? I mean, quadruple. No, I know it goes to quadruple, but eventually doesn't it get to something? I mean, when you sell it at another level.

1:13:21 Drew It goes to 10 million. It's called diamond.

1:13:22 Adam You're going back to diamond?

1:13:23 Drew You're going back to diamond? Your bra size analogies.

1:13:26 Adam Right. And isn't that the double D platinum or something like that?

1:13:30 Caller Nice rack.

1:13:31 Drew Are we sticking this on now? No.

1:13:33 Caller All right.

1:13:34 Adam You want to talk to somebody? Yeah, sure.

1:13:37 Best Of All right.

1:13:37 Adam We'll talk to someone, then we'll hear Broadway and then we'll get back to the question.

1:13:42 Caller Michelle?

1:13:43 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:43 Caller What's up?

1:13:44 Best Of Hi.

1:13:45 Caller Actually, some friends of mine were talking and I had a quick question for you.

1:13:49 Caller Actually, it's probably more for Dr. Drew, but we had heard that the Western blot can tell you if you have the antibodies for the tropic virus.

1:13:58 Drew Yeah, but it's a very poor test.

1:14:00 Caller Okay.

1:14:01 Drew Everybody has it. Let's put it that way. Everybody has it? Yeah.

1:14:03 Best Of Yeah. So if you know that you already have oral herpes, it can't tell you if you have genital or not.

1:14:07 Drew That's correct. But there is one out now that can. Oh, really? Not a Western blot, yeah.

1:14:11 Caller Well, what is it?

1:14:12 Drew It's a HSV2, it's called a protact or something.

1:14:17 Adam Where do you get it?

1:14:19 Drew The doctor should be able to order for you.

1:14:21 Best Of Oh, really?

1:14:21 Caller Yeah.

1:14:22 Best Of Okay.

1:14:22 Adam All right. Drew, I've said this many times. Can't we train dogs to sniff out things like this? I mean, seriously, people think I'm a maniac, but a dog can sniff a joint that has been rolled in coffee grounds and welded into the fender of a truck as it's coming over the border. A dog can sniff out minute traces of gunpowder and explosives at the airport that's been, you know, packing crates. They can teach these dogs to sniff anything, and it's not the substance. I mean, they can teach them anything. It's real easy. They do it with just dogs from the pound. It's really, it's really, it's diabolically simple. You know what they do? They find really enthusiastic dogs at the pound, and they take a rolled-up towel with, like, rubber bands around it, like a, like a washcloth-type towel, and they get the dog hooked on this towel. And then they start hiding this towel in where the coke is, where the pot is, where the explosives are, and the dog thinks it's looking for its rolled-up towel. It doesn't think it's looking for weed or whatever. It just associates that smell for its towel, and then it goes to the airport, and when it does find the coke, they immediately toss it the towel, so they don't get the chances. I'm going to tell these dogs they're shields for the man. They're not actually looking for their towel, but they're busting their hippies and heroin mules that are coming in from across the border. But the point is, is these dogs can sniff anything. Right. And everything has a scent, like a vaginal disease or herpes or whatever. Everything's got its own funk to it. And you say that they cannot see these things, Drew, that they can't make a diagnosis, but the dog could sniff it out. Why can't we use this? A lot of women, I've been planning this for years. A lot of women, they don't want to go to gynecologist. They want to take the panties off and get up in the stirrups and have some crazy looking Asian guy go halfway up with his right arm. But the dog could just give them a sniff in the waiting room and tell them whether they had some plunk down there, some problem down there. They can even smell cancer. They're training these dogs down to smell skin cancer.

1:16:33 Caller They can do that?

1:16:34 Adam Yeah.

1:16:35 Caller They can train a dog to smell cancer.

1:16:37 Adam Yeah, because everything's got its own smell. But the other thing that's always funny is people say, well, dogs, their sense of smell is like 3,000 times greater than human beings. Why did they bury their nose in the ass? Right in the crap.

1:16:50 Drew And they just dig it.

1:16:52 Adam They dig it.

1:16:52 Drew And the thing that's all over the other side is like rainbows and wonderful things that they see we can't smell.

1:16:58 Adam Maybe that's it, because I'm, you know, being eight feet away from some fresh duke at the park is enough to make me want to sit down, you know.

1:17:07 Drew They've got to go all over the other side.

1:17:08 Adam 3,000 times greater or 1,500 times whatever it is, and their face is buried in the other dog's ass. Buried.

1:17:14 Caller I think there's a lot of information going on there that we don't know about.

1:17:18 Drew That's how they size each other up. I think I was experienced by them. That's russians. Wonderful.

1:17:23 Caller I think that's how they determine whether they like each other or not.

1:17:26 Adam I know, but still.

1:17:27 Caller They give the butt a sniff and then they decide if they're going to be friends.

1:17:29 Adam That much greater with the scent and you've got to bury your nose in the other dog's ass? You couldn't be four or five feet away? You know what I mean?

1:17:35 Drew That's a bit confusing. What are they going to find from that much closer that they couldn't find from ten feet away?

1:17:39 Adam Especially with that. It would be like you taking a telescoping lens and then pressing it right up against the chick's boobs so you could like actually see microorganisms on the breast and stuff like too much. Stand back and enjoy. That's what I say to the dogs. All right. The Google dolls are here. We're going to hear something else from off of Dizzy Up The Girl, Triple Plant. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. We will listen to this new signal and it is called Broadway.

1:22:00 Best Of I love that.

1:22:01 Caller When the applause comes in, these sound effects are really good.

1:22:03 Best Of When did you get such an impact?

1:22:04 Adam Oh, Engineer Anderson. Is that a recent addition to the show, the sound effects? Well, they've always been floating around, but Anderson is really breathing new life.

1:22:12 Caller You're really concentrating it.

1:22:14 Adam Yeah, I don't even have to talk anymore, really. Most of this is just, I have different words on different parts and he'll put together a sentence for me while I'm taking a leak.

1:22:22 Drew What's your best one, though?

1:22:23 Adam And then, Bang Me In The Ass. All right.

1:22:25 Best Of What's the best kind of sound effect?

1:22:27 Drew David Allen Grew Vomiting.

1:22:28 Adam Yeah, do you have that? David Allen Grew.

1:22:31 Drew Wow.

1:22:33 Caller It's just instant too. As soon as you name it, it just comes out with this.

1:22:37 Adam Yeah, that is a strong effect. All right, let's see if we can swing into one quick call before we get a break.

1:22:43 Caller Puck?

1:22:43 Best Of Yeah.

1:22:44 Adam You're 50.

1:22:44 Best Of Yes.

1:22:45 Adam You make your girlfriend masturbate over the phone?

1:22:47 Best Of No, they don't even have to be girlfriends. They can be like close friends of mine and I'm a virgin, right? Right. And I can use that to get me off, just hearing them masturbate over the phone.

1:22:58 Adam Right.

1:22:59 Best Of Like I just got back from DC and I met a friend of my cousins over the phone and already I'm like trying to get this shit to bait and I'm only known as since like Saturday or Sunday.

1:23:10 Adam Fantastic. You make a wonderful father and husband one day.

1:23:13 Drew On one hand, it makes it sound like I understand this. They all seem to gravitate in this direction and the way to hear about the new contact is like forcing her into it, working.

1:23:22 Best Of Well, I don't know. You could maybe say that. And like I've gotten like three girls to do it.

1:23:27 Adam How do you do it? Give me some technique real quick.

1:23:30 Best Of I do it, ask them to do it.

1:23:32 Adam You don't just go start masturbating.

1:23:34 Caller No, I use the voice to do it.

1:23:35 Best Of I talk them into it.

1:23:36 Caller Yeah, go ahead.

1:23:37 Adam Try to talk me into it.

1:23:40 Best Of Talk us into it.

1:23:41 Caller I'm easy.

1:23:43 Caller I usually masturbate about this time anyway, but if you want to kind of get me going, talk a guy in the margarita.

1:23:48 Best Of It only works with chicks.

1:23:49 Caller I mean, there's a girl in here.

1:23:50 Adam So that's right. I have a girl in my pants.

1:23:53 Best Of Shut up.

1:23:57 Adam Are you really? Are you 15 years old?

1:23:58 Best Of Yeah, I am.

1:23:59 Adam Oh my God. Listen, drop out of school right now. You're officially a man. You're wasting your time in school. Get a job down in the docks, get a nice picoat, put a night watch once I camp on, start smoking unfiltered cigarettes, hanging around.

1:24:14 Best Of I've done that actually. I've smoked a couple of them.

1:24:17 Adam All right. Don't grow up so fast, would you? Relax. You're 15. You're 15. Slow down.

1:24:23 Caller It's like that.

1:24:24 Adam I mean, I'm- All right. Shut up.

1:24:26 Best Of That's right.

1:24:29 Adam That was one of those, once in a while we get a call to the show, which is, here's my problem. My penis is so big, I can't ride a bicycle. What do I do? And it's like-

1:24:36 Drew Those are bad.

1:24:38 Adam That's just, I'm 15. I can get chicks at MasterBase. I don't know what the question was, but- Explain this one to me.

1:24:44 Caller I knew a guy, this was actually pretty recently, got a phone call in the middle of the night. It turned out it was a wrong number. This woman called.

1:24:50 Adam He somehow kept her on the phone for about 20 minutes, and a couple days later, a package showed up with nude pictures of her and everything.

1:24:56 Best Of Now, how did the guy accomplish that one? Wow.

1:24:58 Caller That's a fluke.

1:25:01 Caller I had a phone call that was a wrong number, and this woman started talking to me on the phone and said, I'm coming down to Los Angeles.

1:25:06 Drew Before you're looking for a contact.

1:25:08 Caller Yeah. I'm coming down to Los Angeles with a friend of mine.

1:25:11 Caller It was this guy's phone number, and then she started talking to me, and then she wanted to I could change my number.

1:25:16 Adam Anyone who calls you at 3.30 in the morning is drunk though, and so if you're game, they're loaded and you can work your magic.

1:25:23 Best Of She mailed the package to me, assume it was the next day and maybe she'd sobered up a little bit.

1:25:26 Adam Well, that's true too, but she could have been like on a two-day bender or something. Laura, we're going to take a quick break. The dolls are here. We'll come back, talk to more screwed up teenagers after this. Yeah, it's Loveline and Adam Corolla.

1:25:47 Best Of That is Dr. Drew over there.

1:25:50 Adam Mike and Johnny are both here from The Goo Goo Dolls. That's us. I do want to dizzy up the girls, the name of the CD.

1:25:58 Caller At this point. Dana.

1:26:01 Adam Dana. You're 19.

1:26:03 Caller Oh, hi.

1:26:04 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:26:05 Caller Nothing. I'm just wondering about a question. I have a tattoo and it's on my breast and I was very dumb when I got it, but I want to get it removed.

1:26:16 Best Of Right.

1:26:17 Caller Now I want to know what are the chances that actually could get cancer from actually getting the tattoo?

1:26:24 Drew Have you ever heard of that causing cancer?

1:26:27 Caller Very rare.

1:26:28 Drew You've heard of it causing cancer?

1:26:30 Best Of Yeah.

1:26:30 Caller Getting a tattoo or getting it taken off?

1:26:32 Best Of Both.

1:26:33 Adam No.

1:26:35 Drew Where have you heard that?

1:26:36 Adam Where have you heard someone got cancer from a tattoo?

1:26:38 Drew Think of all the tattoos there are and think of how common breast cancer is. There will be a headline.

1:26:42 Caller It's at a hospital.

1:26:44 Adam Your mom does? Yeah. But she just told you that because she wants to get rid of the comedy and tragedy mask you have put on your right boob.

1:26:52 Caller I was the one who mentioned I want to get it removed.

1:26:55 Adam I see. What is it of?

1:26:57 Best Of It's a butterfly.

1:26:58 Adam Nice. That's all class by the way. How much on the boob is it?

1:27:04 Caller It's just on the very top. It's kind of, it's just in that area.

1:27:09 Caller I see.

1:27:09 Adam Why do you want to get it removed now?

1:27:11 Caller Just because now I'm wearing more business type clothes and if I have to wear something a little.

1:27:17 Caller Clenching neck lines and stuff like that.

1:27:19 Caller Right.

1:27:19 Caller Something a little lower and it shows it's not very business like at all.

1:27:25 Adam Yeah, but how business is it to be parading your rack around the office? I know, but it's strange that you're worried about wearing business attire and showing off your boobs at the same time, isn't it?

1:27:37 Caller Well, I'm very sensitive about my chest area, so.

1:27:40 Adam Okay. Why? Are they big?

1:27:43 Caller No.

1:27:43 Best Of They're not that big. All right.

1:27:44 Adam We got to go. Drew, they can have it removed with a laser now, right?

1:27:49 Drew No problem. Can I tell you about that?

1:27:51 Caller I did that because I had a really bad tattoo, so I was like.

1:27:55 Caller On the boob? Yeah, right on my boob.

1:27:57 Caller No, I was on my leg. I wanted to get it taken off, so I went to the dermatologist and they had the laser thing. It felt like I was being started on fire and electrocuted at the same time.

1:28:10 Best Of Wow!

1:28:11 Adam Exactly!

1:28:11 Caller That's exactly what it was like.

1:28:13 Best Of I told them to stop about that fast.

1:28:16 Adam It was way worse getting it taken off than it was when it was put on.

1:28:18 Caller I just had it covered up.

1:28:20 Adam How did you have it covered up?

1:28:21 Drew I had it covered up with this.

1:28:23 Adam You had it turned into something?

1:28:24 Drew Now this is a tattoo. You know, they now have it. Did you try emulacrine? Uh-huh.

1:28:29 Adam Oh, it's a big question mark. Wait, there's a guy underneath it holding it up.

1:28:33 Best Of He's trying to hold it up.

1:28:35 Adam Before, the guy was holding up an exclamation point. But now, what was it?

1:28:40 Caller What was it about the family?

1:28:42 Caller No, it was just really badly done congis.

1:28:45 Adam You did it in prison?

1:28:46 Caller I did it when I was in the pokey.

1:28:48 Adam And no, you weren't. But it was too painful to have removed, huh?

1:28:55 Drew It was unbelievable. What about... I got food in my mouth. What about Ebla Crave or Latican?

1:29:01 Caller No, he gave me some stuff to numb it out and he couldn't do anything.

1:29:03 Caller But you know, Cher had all her tattoos removed. I asked her about that once.

1:29:06 Drew Yeah, it's usually pretty easy to do and make him numb it up.

1:29:09 Caller I mean, the thing that he did...

1:29:11 Caller You ever see those like stampers that with the little thing that spins around says date on it or something like that? That's what this thing looked like and man, did it hurt.

1:29:20 Adam Maybe.

1:29:20 Caller Just burning hair off and just trying to suck the ink out of his head.

1:29:24 Adam It was horrible. Was this a buffalo tattoo?

1:29:26 Drew No, it was actually done here.

1:29:27 Caller I was like...

1:29:28 Adam Was it a buffalo laser?

1:29:30 Drew No.

1:29:30 Best Of Because... What's wrong with...

1:29:32 Drew No, I'm just...

1:29:32 Caller What's wrong with the laser?

1:29:34 Adam I'm just saying, we... Dr. Bruce, who fills in for Dr. Drew, operates one of these lasers to take off gang markings in prisons for guys. And they don't complain, although these guys have been shot in the neck and stuff. They have a slightly higher threshold of pain.

1:29:50 Caller But it was my leg.

1:29:50 Caller I mean, how much pain, you know, are you feeling?

1:29:52 Caller It shouldn't have been that bad.

1:29:54 Drew Do you know what kind of laser it was?

1:29:55 Caller No. No, I don't know what it was.

1:29:57 Drew I wonder if you have the right equipment.

1:29:58 Adam Yeah, I'm I'm I bet if you went to a guy in Beverly Hills with the state of the art, where this guy was, really, stop cramping on my story.

1:30:08 Caller Maybe I just went to the wrong guy.

1:30:09 Adam Wow.

1:30:10 Best Of There's all kinds of clashing.

1:30:11 Adam Well, who did Cher have remove hers?

1:30:14 Caller I don't know.

1:30:14 Adam I didn't know. That's what you should have brought up.

1:30:17 Caller Well, I didn't have anything to say to her. And we were in a room with her and I said, so I read that you're getting all your tattoos taken off. She was like, yeah, I was just looking at your tattoo. And then I was like, that's my Sharon First Nations.

1:30:28 Best Of And yeah, it was good. Thanks, Sonny. And then she said to me, honey, I got tattoos that are older than you.

1:30:37 Drew I was like, I bet you do.

1:30:38 Caller That's very funny.

1:30:41 Adam She has an accordion on her boob and she can actually make it work. All right. We're going to take another quick break with Jared.

1:30:51 Best Of Yeah.

1:30:51 Adam Jared, 16, every time you get close to someone, do you steal something from them?

1:30:56 Best Of I do steal something from them. I steal from them. Okay. All right.

1:31:00 Adam Hold on a second there, Jared. Jared, there's a 16. It sounds like a merchant marine who's been around the world for a while.

1:31:08 Best Of All right.

1:31:09 Adam We're going to take a little break. Google Donald's our guest and we'll be back after this.

1:31:23 Caller Yep. All right.

1:31:24 Adam There you go. Another fabulous show.

1:31:25 Drew Fabulous.

1:31:26 Adam In the dirt.

1:31:27 Caller All right.

1:31:27 Adam We'll take ourselves a 22-hour break, and when we come back, we'll come back with more fabulous show and a renewed attitude, a renewed commitment to the program. That'll be at least for the first break, and then we'll wear off into our usual chated selves.

1:31:40 Drew Well, now.

1:31:41 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. My boyfriend has such a huge shalom that he scrambled my image.

1:31:49 Drew Oh, come on. Oh, no.

1:31:52 Caller Well, now.

1:31:53 Best Of This is in Love Live.

1:31:54 Drew The stuff expressed on Love Live is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, the management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Once Upon a Time by Loveline, Produced by Anne Wilkins and Gold.

1:32:03 Adam Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Tuesday, July 4, 2000