Episode 1000754887158

2:23 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline Coast to Coast.

2:36 Hey!

2:37 Drew There's never enough time for off-the-air conversations.

2:40 Adam Nothing worse than the show interrupting a good stimulating conversation with Drew and myself. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1 Facts, number 310-8-5-4-4-4-4-5-5. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. All right. Let me tell you guys something very quickly without sounding like I'm blowing my own horn or our own horn. But the reason we like this job, especially the radio version of this job, is it really is our hobby. I mean, when we're not talking to you on the air, we're talking to each other about stuff that's of the same nature.

3:20 Drew Yeah, that's pertinent.

3:21 Adam More psychological crap.

3:22 Drew Just the human experience.

3:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's like some guy who has been tinkering on motorcycles his whole life opening a Harley shop.

3:31 Drew Right.

3:31 Adam That's what this is for us.

3:33 Drew Yeah.

3:33 Adam And that's why all the other crap I do, and I think I can speak for Drew here, it's nice. Nice to diversify a little, spread yourself out. But this always feels like home.

3:45 Drew Which is why for the six months prior to the end of The Man Show, you called this an albatross, a pain in the ass, can't wait till it's over, wait till I'm gone.

3:53 Adam I was lashing out, brother.

3:54 Drew You're just kidding.

3:55 Adam Ona? Ana? You're 15. What's up? Is that how you spell Ana?

4:02 Drew Well, Donna.

4:03 Adam Otherwise, it would be Ana. Right. All right, Ona.

4:06 Yeah?

4:06 Adam Yeah. What's happening?

4:09 Drew Oh, come on now. You have a question?

4:13 Yeah.

4:13 Drew All right. Spit it out.

4:14 I'm 15.

4:16 Adam Yeah.

4:17 And I'm pregnant and my boyfriend's 19 and I don't want my mom to know. All right.

4:21 Adam Well, let's not tell her.

4:23 Drew But you better tell Planned Parenthood or somebody else.

4:26 Well, I know already. I went to a doctor.

4:28 Drew All right. What'd they say?

4:29 Huh?

4:30 Drew What do you want to do?

4:31 I have to keep it.

4:32 Drew You have to keep it.

4:34 Adam Okay. So eventually you have to tell your mom, right?

4:37 Well, yeah, but I don't live with her, so.

4:40 Adam You don't live with your mom?

4:41 No.

4:42 Adam Where do you live?

4:43 With my two brothers.

4:44 Drew How old are they?

4:46 Adam 14 and 11.

4:46 19.

4:49 Adam 19 and how old?

4:50 21.

4:51 Adam All right. Why are you living with them?

4:53 Huh?

4:54 Adam Hey, hey, Anna?

4:56 Yeah.

4:57 Adam I need you to listen.

4:58 I am.

4:59 Adam All right. Listen more closely.

5:01 Okay.

5:02 Adam Why are you living with your brothers?

5:05 Because, I don't know.

5:06 Adam What? All right. Listen. Anna, you're going on hold because I can't. I'm sorry for your condition, but I can't start the night with huh and I don't know. Why are you living with your brothers? I don't know.

5:22 Drew Try one of the twister.

5:23 Adam No.

5:24 Drew Why aren't you living with your mom?

5:26 Adam You're right. It's my fault. Anna, just hang on there and we'll get back to you.

5:31 Huh?

5:31 Adam Beth?

5:32 Hi.

5:33 Adam Hey, you're 15. What's up?

5:34 Caller Yeah.

5:35 Caller I recently made friends with this girl and she doesn't really have any other friends. I was just being nice to her because no one else would, and she's become obsessed with me. She's very sensitive to anything I say to her. She said she'd kill herself if anything happened to our friendship.

5:50 Adam Oh, boy. Is she dressing like you?

5:52 Caller No.

5:53 Drew Is she also 15?

5:54 Caller She's 15.

5:55 Oh, boy.

5:56 Caller But I need to know. I don't exactly want to get rid of her, but I need to let her know that she's going overboard, and I don't want to hurt her feelings by saying it.

6:05 Adam All right. Listen, you don't have to have a sit down with her.

6:08 Yeah, I don't want to.

6:09 Adam Just start peeling back a little bit. That's all. What I mean is if she was a stereo and she was turned up to an eight, just start turning it down to six and then four and then eventually turn it off. Okay. You know what I mean?

6:25 Drew But be considerate. Don't be cruel.

6:28 Adam Yeah. I just mean, you know, you do stuff like she calls and you don't call her back. All right. And then she calls you two days from then and says, why didn't you call me back? And you say, you know, I was pretty busy. I was meaning to get back to you. Anyway, what's up? And then she says, what's going on this weekend? And you go, I got grandparents coming in town. I got to hang with them.

6:50 Drew You can't feel guilty and you have to be firm with your limits.

6:53 Adam There you go. All right. Let's see if we can try 15-year-old Anna who's pregnant with her 19-year-old boyfriend and living with her 19 and 25-year-old brother. Anna?

7:04 Caller Okay.

7:05 Drew Why aren't you living with your mom?

7:07 Caller Oh, because she has other kids living there with her boyfriend and we don't get along.

7:14 Adam Are they her boyfriend's kids? They are.

7:18 Drew So you moved in with your brothers because of that?

7:20 Caller Yeah.

7:21 Adam I see. How are your brothers?

7:23 Caller How are they?

7:24 Drew Are they drug addicts? Are they nice to you?

7:26 They're nice. They're okay.

7:29 Drew This doesn't sound like a very legal situation to me.

7:33 Adam Your 19-year-old boyfriend, how is he?

7:36 Caller He's fine.

7:38 Adam I see.

7:38 Drew Aside from being a criminal.

7:39 Right.

7:40 Adam What does he do? Work some kind of construction?

7:43 Caller No.

7:44 Drew He didn't have a job?

7:45 Caller No, he has a job now.

7:47 Adam I see.

7:48 Caller Because I'm like three or four months right now. Hold on a second.

7:53 Adam You know what I love most about our listeners? Like someone says, it becomes like to tell the truth. It's like someone comes up to you and says, oh, what do you do? Some sort of white collar, what are you, a lawyer? And you go, no. Nipsey Russell has a question. Does your work involve tools? No, that's two down, 18 to go. We don't have listeners who go, no, he's a... And then it was like, does he have a job? Yes. Okay, three down.

8:28 Drew Right now.

8:28 Adam Three down, we have to go to commercial. When we come back, Arlene Francis is going to ask a question. Does his work involve animals? No, sorry, four down. Anna? What? Does he work, does he interact with the public in his job? That would be my question.

8:50 Caller He's a mechanic.

8:52 Adam Oh, sorry. He's working it. He's turning wrenches. All right. So you're three, four months pregnant now?

9:00 Caller Like three and a half.

9:01 Adam I see. And so you're going to keep the kid, right?

9:05 Caller Yeah.

9:06 Adam Well, you have lots of kids just like your mama.

9:08 Caller I already have one. Oh my God.

9:10 Adam No, you don't.

9:11 Caller Yeah.

9:12 Adam Impossible.

9:13 Caller I do.

9:14 Adam And that kid is 14?

9:17 Drew Being raised by Rocko.

9:18 Adam How old is that kid?

9:20 Caller Ten months.

9:21 Adam Ten months.

9:21 Caller Yeah.

9:22 Adam And where is that kid?

9:23 Caller In my house right now.

9:25 Drew Please breastfeed this next one so you don't get pregnant again in eight months, five months.

9:29 Adam Does that keep you sterile for a little while?

9:30 Drew Yeah, it tends to.

9:32 Caller Huh?

9:33 Adam OK. So, Anna?

9:34 Caller Sorry.

9:35 Caller No, I was on the pill.

9:37 Adam Yeah.

9:38 Caller But it didn't work, I guess.

9:39 Drew You didn't take it every day.

9:41 Caller No, I did. I took it every day.

9:43 Adam Yeah. Hey, Anna?

9:47 Caller Yeah?

9:47 Adam Your life is getting pretty messy pretty fast, wouldn't you say?

9:51 Caller Yeah.

9:51 Adam And I know you come from a lot of chaos and God knows where daddy is and what the hell your mom's boyfriend's sons did to you and all that kind of nonsense, but why do you really have to ruin your life? You know what I mean? Why are you so intent on that at 15? What's in it for you, I guess, is what I'm asking. I know it sounds like a rhetorical question. You have no answer, but can you think about that? Why don't you give this one up for adoption? Can you do that?

10:24 Caller No.

10:25 Adam No?

10:25 Drew Why not?

10:27 Caller I don't know because.

10:28 Adam All right. Are you asking us a question though?

10:31 Caller Yeah.

10:31 Adam What is the question?

10:32 Caller How can I not get him into jail?

10:37 Adam Who cares? We don't care. I hope he goes to jail. Is he the father of the first one?

10:42 Caller No.

10:43 Adam Where's the father of the first one? Finishing the ninth grade?

10:46 Drew Let's get him in jail too.

10:48 Caller No. He's in a different country. He's in Mexico.

10:51 Adam I see.

10:53 Drew I think when you're operating in a really primitive level, reproduction just becomes your basic way of life.

10:57 Adam Yeah. That's it. Well, all right. Hey, Ana. Will they let you bring home another child at 15?

11:07 Caller Yeah.

11:09 Adam They will?

11:10 Caller Yeah.

11:11 Adam Okay. Listen, I feel bad for Ana. I feel a mixture of things. I'm angry at her and I feel sympathy for her. But listen, everybody, I know I keep going down this road, but the Ana's of the world and Ana's mommy with the boyfriend and the four kids and all the brothers and the mess and the 10-month-old, you want to know what's eroding the fabric of this country? This is it. You want to know we're all, you want to know why your taxes are so high? You want to know why it takes so much money for so many things? This is why. And why we can't step up and say to someone like Ana, hey, honey, you're getting the Knorr plant. The minute after she delivered the first kid, pow, put the Knorr plant right in her. That's it. Because she is a troublemaker. I mean, from a societal standpoint, she's the one that's going to bring it down. And put it this way, everyone, okay, everyone, you go, oh, leave poor Ana alone. What does she do? Leave her alone. This poor kid has a couple of kids, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone, do me a favor. Close your eyes and just, just picture this in your mind's eye. Everyone does what Ana does.

12:31 Drew Hey, just picture a million people that Ana does, which they do.

12:34 Adam Okay, would you shut up and stop taking the wind out of my sail?

12:38 Drew I'm trying to support you.

12:39 Adam Everyone does what Ana does. Where do you figure we'd be in about 10 years? Think about it. Okay, there's your answer. That's why we have to stop it. And I don't know why politicians aren't interested in discussing it, and I don't know why we're the only people that seem to bring this up, but Ana's gotta stop. And I gotta tell you, if I'm in charge, I put her down.

12:58 Drew The only reason I'm bringing some data about pregnancy in this country, and the only way that teen pregnancy has actually dropped in the last few years has been the result of more effective means of using birth control, meaning the Depo-Provera shot and the Norepov. That's actually what's reduced the pregnancy rate of this country.

13:12 Adam Listen, I'd drive around with a Humvee and a hunting rifle and shoot them right in the arm like Animal Kingdom. I really would. And Drew, you're right. The dumber you are, the more you just focus on procreation. That's it. Well, what animals do, everybody?

13:26 Drew That's right.

13:26 Adam They crap, they eat, and they hump. That's it. Think about what a lizard does. Think about a reptile. What's a reptile does? Walks around looking for food and then looking for something to hump and then takes a dump and then goes to bed and then does the same thing. Think what stupid people do, everybody. All you got to do is work a little TV and a little speed in a bi-yearly trip to the lake into that equation and you have that life.

13:53 Drew And be careful. If you had a little VCR and a little masturbation, it's your life.

13:56 Adam The point is, is if I can do it, anyone can do it. You have a very valid point there, Drew. Touche. Devon?

14:03 Hi.

14:03 Adam You're 14. What's up?

14:05 Caller I am. I just want to say that you guys rock and stuff. Anyway, I have this problem where I masturbate and I fantasize about whatever is the object of my affection at the time.

14:19 Drew What does that mean?

14:21 Caller Just whoever I have a crush on. I like to fantasize that it's them doing whatever I'm doing.

14:26 Drew Like somebody at school?

14:27 Adam Smart.

14:28 Caller Yeah.

14:30 Adam Like Drew, right?

14:32 No.

14:33 Caller No offense, but no.

14:36 Adam You don't want his dentures coming out in your vagina, do you?

14:39 Caller His gray hair doesn't do it.

14:40 Adam He's very old, yeah.

14:41 Caller No.

14:42 Adam Come up, waddle up to you with his four-point cane and get down. All right, Devon.

14:50 Caller Anyway, there's this guy I think about now, and it's Jonathan Davis, the singer of Korn. Yeah. I fantasize about him, and I don't masturbate as much anymore because every time I fantasize about him, it makes me cry, really hard, not like pain, but it makes me cry emotionally, and I can't figure out why, what's wrong.

15:13 Adam You're 14, you're a chick, all bets are off.

15:20 Drew Adam still does that when he thinks about.

15:21 Adam Jim Morrison.

15:22 Drew Yeah.

15:23 Adam Yeah. Drew does it with Bobby Sherman. I know we're going way back.

15:27 Caller No, you're saying it's completely normal that-

15:29 Drew Are you depressed?

15:30 Caller I am. I'm on the left.

15:31 Drew Okay. Well, I think that has something to do with it, huh? You've got a lot of emotions stirred up and crying easily is one of the features of depression.

15:39 Caller It just freaks me out, though, because it doesn't happen with any of the other guys I fantasize.

15:43 Adam Don't worry. You'll move on to a new band soon and you'll cry when he does something. All right, baby.

15:48 Caller All right. Also, I just wanted to ask real quick, like, how much is-

15:51 Adam Have you met Jonathan?

15:53 Caller I haven't. Oh, I want to so bad.

15:56 Adam Yeah. He's all right. He's no heartthrob. I give him a six. Yes, he is.

16:00 He totally is.

16:02 Adam Listen, I've spent a good amount of time with the guy.

16:05 Caller I know.

16:06 Drew Think about that for a second.

16:06 Caller You're my god just because you spent time with him. I'm so jealous.

16:11 Adam Thank you.

16:12 You're welcome.

16:13 Adam Yeah.

16:13 Caller It's all right. There's nothing wrong.

16:15 Adam All right. You're fine. You stay on that soul off.

16:18 Caller Okay. I just wanted to ask real quick, how much is birth control usually?

16:22 Drew How much it cost?

16:23 Adam Yeah.

16:24 Drew You should be able to get it for essentially nothing if somebody has samples if you ask your doctor for samples.

16:28 Caller Just for nothing?

16:29 Drew If you ask your doctor for samples. Yeah. You've been a nominal at Planned Parenthood.

16:33 Adam Yeah. They have the samples down. They're down at the Hickory Farms. There's a chick standing out front with a little tray. Yeah. Go by there and get some of that.

16:41 Drew Yeah. It's OCP on a toothpick.

16:45 Adam Listen. Took you a while to figure that one out. I know we may be veering from the course a little here, but what happened to samples? There used to be a lot more samples in this world.

16:57 Drew Well, you just don't go to grocery stores anymore. You're such a big star.

17:00 Adam That's true. They're still there. Costco, they got, yeah, Costco, they forget about, and the thing that's funny about Costco with their samples is the package is like a 35-pound chub pack of Canadian bacon. So the sample's like, would you like four pounds of Canadian bacon? They have like huge chunks of samples floating around. That's right, Costco, you can really chow down on it.

17:23 Drew Even in Starbucks, they give you samples now in the summer.

17:25 Adam Oh, really?

17:26 Drew They try to get you to take those frappuccinos every time I walk in.

17:28 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, maybe you're right. I just don't see them floating around the market as much.

17:33 Drew You don't go to them. I have to go shopping every weekend.

17:37 Adam All right. Heather?

17:38 Caller Yes?

17:39 Adam You're 19. What's up?

17:41 Caller My boyfriend has this weird thing. When we have sex, he wants me to act like I'm a dog. I just am not cool with it. I'm not comfortable.

17:54 Adam What kind of dog?

17:56 Caller He wants me to act like his dog, Shirley.

17:58 Adam Shirley?

17:59 Caller Yeah.

17:59 Adam I see.

18:00 Drew What is Shirley doing? I'm afraid to ask.

18:02 Adam What kind of dog is Shirley?

18:04 Caller She's a great dame. Wow.

18:07 Adam Well, at least the word great's in there. Now, all right, do you do the doggy position?

18:14 Caller Yes.

18:14 Adam Then you do another position?

18:16 Caller No. That's all he likes.

18:18 Adam Only doggy?

18:19 Caller Right.

18:20 Adam And you got a bark?

18:21 Caller Yeah. Sometimes he asks me to perform with him in his dog house that he has.

18:27 Adam No, he does not. No, he doesn't.

18:31 Caller He likes me to wear a little collar.

18:32 Drew No.

18:35 Adam No. Yeah, they're ridiculous. How old is he?

18:38 Caller He's 18.

18:39 Adam Yeah. What's his birthday?

18:42 Caller His birthday is October 17th.

18:44 Adam Okay.

18:45 Drew That means she doesn't have a boyfriend, just the boyfriend isn't causing her to do this stuff.

18:49 Adam Yeah.

18:51 Caller All right.

18:51 Drew Yeah. This is-

18:52 Adam Give us the truth, Heather.

18:53 Drew This is another case of people calling up, asking questions about what they think people would do. People don't do this.

18:59 Adam That's true.

19:00 Drew This is not in the lexicon of behaviors unless somebody has- That's very true. It doesn't fit.

19:04 Adam That's true. And it's not even a question.

19:05 Drew Yeah.

19:06 Caller All right.

19:06 Adam It's more of a statement.

19:07 Caller So it's not normal?

19:08 Adam No.

19:09 Drew Yeah, it's not even real.

19:09 Adam We don't believe you.

19:11 Drew It's not possible.

19:12 Adam All right, baby.

19:13 Caller All right.

19:13 Adam All right. Good times, though, right?

19:15 Caller Yeah.

19:17 Adam All right.

19:18 Caller Disqualified!

19:20 Adam You know, as outlandish as it was, I wanted to believe her because we just had this conversation the other night about how girls don't goof.

19:27 Drew Oh, yeah. She's probably listening to that show tonight and called in to goof.

19:32 Adam You may be right again. Drew, you're really on a roll. It's rare that you're right.

19:37 Drew More than ever.

19:37 Adam More than twice in, let's say, a half hour period.

19:40 Guest Hello.

19:40 Adam Andrea.

19:42 Guest Hello. I'm talking to a live person. Yeah.

19:48 Caller My question is.

19:49 Drew I don't think she is anymore.

19:50 Caller Hello.

19:52 Adam Is Andrea nuts? What? Andrea, you're 17.

19:56 Caller Yes.

19:57 Guest I'm only attracted to guys that treat me like crap. I don't know why. My friend said I have a masochism disorder or something.

20:04 Caller I don't know.

20:06 Guest I don't know. Every time somebody is nice to me, I push them away and I'm mean to them and stuff and I don't know why.

20:12 Adam We know why.

20:13 Guest Why?

20:14 Adam Because your daddy is mean.

20:15 Guest I don't have a daddy.

20:16 Adam There you go.

20:17 Drew But he was mean.

20:18 Guest My dad, I never met my dad in my life and I don't know.

20:23 Adam What? You have any step dads?

20:25 Guest No.

20:26 Adam No.

20:27 Drew Mom had boyfriends?

20:30 Guest No. She had boyfriends but no, I never had a father figure.

20:34 Adam Any of those boyfriends ever do anything mean to you?

20:38 Guest My mom's kind of mean to me sometimes. Tells me I'm like ugly and.

20:43 Drew Does she beat you up?

20:44 Guest No. She just says I'm not going to mount anything and stuff like that.

20:49 Drew That's nice. Never give you any whoopings?

20:52 Guest No, not really.

20:53 Drew Not really?

20:54 Guest I lived with my grandma my whole life practically.

20:56 Drew Did grandma do anything like that to you?

20:58 Guest No.

20:59 Adam All right. She was a good woman?

21:01 Drew Yeah.

21:02 Adam Never beat on you?

21:03 Guest No.

21:04 Adam All right. I'm bipolar.

21:06 Drew All right, Angie, look. You've been abandoned profoundly by your parents. They've completely ill served you. They didn't raise you. They abandon you. It's hard to develop a good sense of oneself when the people that are supposed to care the most about you just leave you. And you need to find something in you that you can call upon to start to build a sense of worth.

21:30 Guest I know. I have a really low self-esteem. Yeah.

21:32 Drew And so when you have a low self-esteem, you're the person that people treat like crap. That's how you think of yourself. So you find the people to treat you like crap. And if they don't treat you like crap, you make sure they treat you like crap.

21:41 Guest I know. I do that.

21:42 Adam All right.

21:42 Drew Well, don't do it. If you don't want people to treat you like crap, you are the only thing you can change is you. That's it.

21:51 Adam And vacuum bags. You can change those too. Andrea? Yes. All right. Listen, sweetheart, you're 17. You've had a horrible life until up until this point, right? Right. So a lot of our callers. And you know, but here's the good news. And you're talking to someone who came from not as bad as what you came from. But my life sucked too. And you turn 18 and you move out of the house and you get new friends and you get a job and you get on your own and it still sucks.

22:20 Drew For a few years.

22:21 Adam For about 15 years. That's right. Then you get in a radio. Now you get on your own and you start taking care of yourself and you become another person. You have another life. You're not the person that your parents abandoned. You know what I mean? But you got to do some work. You really do.

22:38 Guest How long have we done this show for?

22:40 Adam Did you hear anything he said? No. All right, Andrea.

22:43 Guest I heard what you said but I just wondered how long you did this show for.

22:46 Adam I've done this show for coming on five years.

22:49 Guest I heard what you said and it's really good advice. I really understood it.

22:53 Adam All right. Good. Stay out of a relationship for a little while.

22:56 Drew Apply it.

22:57 Adam Yeah. Because anyone who Andrea picks is going to be an a-hole. Oh, yeah. And then she's going to get pregnant and then he's going to leave and then the cycle will continue. Be another mama with no dad around. All right. When we come back, we are going to speak to Joe. Stories of incest turn him on. Wants to know if that's normal. Joe's 25. Get to the bottom of that after this.

23:25 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

24:05 Adam Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's pop back on the phones. Speak to Joe. Joe's 25. Joe?

24:19 Hey, guys. They need you back in New York at a decent hour, first of all.

24:23 Drew We agree.

24:24 Adam Yeah, we do agree. Why are we on at that horrible hour on that station?

24:28 Tell me about it.

24:28 Drew Write WNEW.

24:30 Yeah.

24:30 Adam Well, why don't we just get on another station? Can't we do that?

24:33 Two guys that they have on now suck.

24:35 Adam Oh, I'm sure. Who are they?

24:39 I don't know and I don't know.

24:40 Adam Just be nice. All right, Joe. Well, God bless you for staying up till 3 in the morning or whenever the hell the show's on.

24:46 I'll try to.

24:47 Adam All right.

24:48 I got two questions, really. All right. Number one, I'm a very hair suit person. Yeah. I have it even on my penis, unfortunately, and I tried to remove it.

25:00 Adam That ain't hair suit. That's hair sock.

25:02 Yeah, hell yeah. But I tried to remove it today and I used a hair remover product like Nair or something.

25:07 Drew Oh, my God.

25:09 Bad.

25:09 Adam Bad times.

25:10 Drew It will irritate the hell out of your skin. Yeah.

25:11 Tell me about it. I'm paying for it now.

25:13 Adam Joe's Harry, for those of you who are listening.

25:16 Drew You need to get maybe some laser treatments.

25:20 They do that?

25:21 Adam On the penis?

25:22 Drew I'm sure they do.

25:23 Adam Hold on. Let me tell you something. I saw that Goldfinger movie. Goldfinger was putting a laser right into James Bond's penis. It didn't seem like a good thing. You know what I'm saying?

25:33 Caller Yeah.

25:34 Adam Remember when it was coming at him right down his crotch?

25:36 Caller Yeah.

25:37 Adam Yeah. Oh, finally, the movie drew a scene, everybody.

25:40 I don't even want laser eye surgery.

25:41 Drew All right.

25:42 Adam Anyway. Forget about the penis.

25:43 Drew So what is your question?

25:44 Well, my other question is kind of difficult to talk about.

25:46 Adam Hey, Joe.

25:47 Maybe you guys can lead me there?

25:49 Adam You ever thought about modeling for that Bear magazine?

25:53 I've been told I could.

25:54 Adam You know, those big hairy biker guys?

25:56 I've been told I could.

25:58 Adam Yeah. How much you weigh?

25:59 Uh, not that much.

26:01 Drew Wouldn't you have to pose with another guy, though?

26:03 Adam No. They do singles. Hey, Joe?

26:06 Yeah.

26:06 Adam Here's the thing about being hairy. It's going to be fat if you're going to be hairy. Why? I don't know why. It spreads the hair out more.

26:13 Caller I'm in between.

26:14 Adam I see. All right. So, Joe, your other one is Stories of Incest, Turn You On.

26:19 Drew Yes.

26:21 Adam You ever see Taboo 2?

26:23 Caller I have, actually.

26:24 Adam Yeah. Good movie, huh? I got that loaded up in the VCR right now.

26:28 Caller I don't want to answer that. That bothers me, though.

26:31 Adam That you like that?

26:32 Caller Yes. It does bother me.

26:33 Adam Well, but how does it manifest itself?

26:36 Drew Is it something you're thinking about doing or something you're preoccupied with?

26:42 Caller I don't want to answer that.

26:44 Drew Truthfully.

26:45 Adam Do you have a sister?

26:46 Caller Yeah.

26:47 Adam How's that going?

26:48 Caller Well, I live very far away from her.

26:50 Adam Okay.

26:51 Drew Because?

26:52 Adam But if she was your downstairs neighbor, you think something might happen?

26:56 Adam Something has happened?

26:57 Drew No.

26:58 Caller Well, when we were younger, she used to do stuff to me.

27:03 Drew Well, that's why these things still affect you.

27:05 Adam How young were you?

27:06 Caller Like 10.

27:07 Drew How old was she?

27:08 Adam 35.

27:09 Caller Older than I was.

27:10 Drew How old was she?

27:12 Caller Like three years older.

27:14 Drew Well, somebody did something to her.

27:16 Adam What did she do to you when you were 10?

27:17 Caller That's what I was thinking.

27:18 Adam Oh, yeah.

27:18 Drew No doubt.

27:19 Adam Definitely.

27:19 Drew No doubt. Did she have sort of a wild history that follows?

27:23 Caller A little bit, yeah.

27:24 Adam Yeah.

27:25 Drew That's why.

27:26 Adam What did she do to you when you were 10 and she was 17?

27:28 Caller She made me like touch her and stuff and kiss her and stuff.

27:31 Adam Yeah. Any more than that? No.

27:35 Caller I mean, she would walk around and stuff and tease me and whatnot.

27:39 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I could see that warping a fragile mind a little bit.

27:43 Drew It hardwires you in a certain way. You should excuse the expression.

27:46 Adam Well, plus, you're growing up in an environment where something was probably done to her.

27:51 Drew Yeah.

27:52 Caller And that just horrifies me to think about.

27:54 Adam Well, now, who could have done something to her? What kind of guy was your dad?

27:59 Caller You know, I don't know.

28:01 Adam Not a great guy?

28:03 Caller I really, you know, didn't have a relationship with him, you know.

28:06 Drew Why?

28:07 Caller Why? I don't know. I just, you know.

28:10 Drew Well, listen, we don't know your dad.

28:12 Caller Yeah, I know. I apologize. You know, he drank and, you know.

28:17 Drew All right.

28:17 Caller And, you know, emotionally constipated, really.

28:20 Drew All right. So he might have done something to her.

28:22 Adam So here's the likely scenario.

28:24 Caller I don't even want to think about that.

28:25 Adam Well, all right. Well, don't think about it. But here's what happened.

28:27 Drew He touched her all his life.

28:28 Adam Your dad was. Your dad. Your dad or maybe when your dad's friends or something, something, something, most likely, 95 percent, something happened to your sister. She got her wires crossed a little bit. Then she came in and crossed your wires. All right? Now, it doesn't sound like irreparable damage. You just got an idea of sexuality that wasn't a good idea. Now, you're having trouble un-crossing your wires, right? All right. So, a little therapy.

29:00 Drew Or just get a relationship problem.

29:02 Adam Read a few books and understand. Listen, everybody. Everybody has their own little fantasies. Some good, some not, some embarrassing, some humiliating, whatever. Everyone has that. You guys have that, right? No. Oh. Most people have their own fantasies is what I want to say. Not me or Drew, but all you out there. Hold on. I'm going to start masturbating.

29:28 Drew It's okay, Adam, to say that and not actually do it, okay?

29:31 Adam I see. The point is, is don't act them out. Don't bang your sister. Get a girlfriend, fight to keep her. You know what I mean? Just keep yourself in check, everyone. Everyone feels like killing someone. Everyone feels like effing their sister. Don't do it.

29:49 Drew Good advice.

29:49 Adam Thank you.

29:50 Drew Hey, you got facts from somebody who heard us last night talking about Agent Orange. We had a question. Somebody asked us whether the son of a guy exposed to Agent Orange could have fertility problems.

29:59 Adam Yes.

29:59 Drew Apparently, there's a book out there that suggests that that is in fact a possibility.

30:04 Adam Well, makes a certain degree of sense. Any of that sort of military stuff, I'd always look at a little askance. I mean, I know Agent Orange is carcinogen and killed. Agent Orange was a defoliant that they used in Vietnam to try to knock down some of that jungles so we could get there and put the gooks away. Let me think if that worked. Let's see. We lost the war and pushed the helicopters off the carrier deck and then everyone came home with cancer. Maybe not the outcome they were looking for when they were developing the product, do you think?

30:44 Caller No. Anyway.

30:44 Get on your knees, scumbag.

30:46 Adam One of the greatest movies ever, Full Metal Jacket. All right. Samantha?

30:50 Caller Yeah?

30:51 Adam You're 17. What's up?

30:53 Caller Okay. When my girlfriend goes down on me, she looks up at me and I can't help but laugh. And I don't understand why and it makes me feel really like she doesn't want to give me pleasure anymore.

31:09 Adam Are you wearing those big groucho eyebrows?

31:13 Caller No.

31:14 Adam No. Anyone ever do that to you, Drew? Really freaks you out. Drew, don't move the equipment. You know how it goes.

31:21 Drew Are you gay purely?

31:23 Caller I'm bisexual.

31:24 Drew When you've been with guys, does this happen? No.

31:27 Caller It doesn't happen with guys.

31:29 Drew Is it because the guys don't look up at you? No.

31:31 Caller They look up at me. It's just when I'm with her, they don't look up at me.

31:35 Adam What's going on in the background there, screwball?

31:38 Caller Huh?

31:39 Adam Hey, what? Will you shut the goddamn radio down?

31:43 Caller Hello?

31:44 Adam Oh, man. Hold on a second. I gotta go to a minor tirade here. Listen, you idiots. This is a national radio show. I know it doesn't sound like one, but it is. And I know we're unprofessional, but we're trying to be professional. And you jackasses have to turn down your radios, you have to turn down your VCRs and your televisions and your camcorders and all that crap you got going on in the background on three quarters of our goddamn calls. Please give us that dignity and turn it down.

32:13 Caller Why?

32:14 Adam Idiots. Samantha?

32:17 Caller Yeah?

32:17 Adam All right. So.

32:19 Drew So I only quite understand this. She looks up at you and the guys don't?

32:25 Caller No. No, the guys look up at me, but I don't laugh.

32:28 Drew Right.

32:29 Caller I only laugh when my girlfriend does it.

32:31 Drew And what if she doesn't look up at you?

32:33 Caller I still laugh.

32:34 Adam Does it tickle you?

32:36 Caller Yeah.

32:37 Adam Then why do you bring up her looking up at you if you laugh anyway?

32:41 Caller Well, she, she like bats her eyes and I don't know, it looks weird. All right.

32:46 Adam Hey, what happened to you, screwball?

32:48 Caller Excuse me?

32:49 Adam What's up with you?

32:51 Caller What do you mean?

32:51 Adam 17, bisexual.

32:53 Caller Well.

32:54 Adam What's up?

32:56 Caller I was molested by my mother when I was younger.

32:58 Drew By your mother.

32:59 Adam Wow.

33:00 Drew What?

33:00 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Oh, baby.

33:04 Caller If that has anything to do with it.

33:06 Adam Your mom molested you?

33:08 Caller Yeah.

33:09 Drew What did she do to you?

33:10 Caller She, I don't really like to get into it, but she just would touch me. She was my stepmom.

33:19 Adam Yeah.

33:19 Drew From when to when?

33:21 Caller From the time when I was about six years old to 12.

33:26 Adam Oh, wow. And where's your mom now?

33:29 Caller She lives in Florida.

33:30 Adam Oh, good. All the nut jobs go to Florida, don't they? What is that? And who are you living with?

33:38 Caller I'm living with my girlfriend right now.

33:40 Adam Okay. How old is she?

33:42 Caller She's 19.

33:43 Adam Okay. Hey, baby? What happened to you? I don't wish on my worst enemy. I mean, their mom, not your mom, you know, touching them. You know what I'm saying? You got your work cut out for you. I mean, the smallest problem you have right now is laughing during oral sex. That's nothing. You got much bigger problems than that. You're going to need some therapy, you got to read some books, and you got to go on some long walks in the woods.

34:15 Drew Yeah.

34:15 Caller I go to therapy.

34:17 Adam Good.

34:17 Drew Excellent.

34:18 Caller Yeah. It's helped a lot, but I don't know. I just want to know if it was normal that I laugh when she does it to me, and it's only when she does it.

34:26 Drew But interestingly, there probably are a lot of very uncomfortable feelings evoked by being with a woman. Laughter sometimes is a response to those things that we are most uncomfortable with.

34:36 Adam All right. Samantha?

34:38 Caller Yes.

34:38 Adam All right. Take care. Listen, don't be with any boys. I don't want you getting pregnant.

34:43 Caller Oh, no. I'm a virgin.

34:45 Drew A virgin. Think about that.

34:47 Adam Okay.

34:48 Drew That's a good one. Well, that one beats the anal sex one.

34:50 Adam I know this. Just hear me out. You want your daughter to be a virgin, don't you? It's a 17. It's just going to take one trip from your wife into the room. Just one. Do you know what I'm saying?

35:03 Drew You have to do it for six years. Well, unacceptable. Unacceptable.

35:07 Adam Six years. Hey, as a mom, to behave that way, you got to be insane, right?

35:14 Drew Yeah.

35:15 Adam I mean, you got to be whacked out of your effing mind, don't you?

35:18 Drew Yeah.

35:19 Adam And seriously, three quarters of the sort of guys who molested people and left town, guys who were paroled and fled the state, moms who went down on their daughters and stuff, I swear to Christ, they're living in Florida. They really are, working at a waffle house. Waffle house.

35:41 Drew We never went to one of those, did we? We saw 4,000 of them, but never went in.

35:46 Adam Why even put the word house after waffle? Just write waffle. You know what I'm saying? People figure that out. There's a waffle in Florida.

35:57 Drew Why call it a pancake house?

35:59 Adam I don't think you should call it a pancake house either. I think you should just say pancake.

36:03 Drew International House of Pancake.

36:09 Adam It's still not as lame as a waffle house.

36:12 Drew Waffle hut would work.

36:13 Adam Waffle hut might work. Let me tell you, that's the thing that amazes me most about the South, especially Florida is the waffle house. There are so many waffle houses in Florida that I actually walked into a waffle house and entered a smaller waffle house that was actually inside of that waffle house. Then I opened a door and I got into an even smaller one. It was like one of those wooden Russian dolls. What do they call those things? You keep opening them up and a smaller one comes out.

36:39 Drew I saw one that was your personal waffle house. There's one for each person there.

36:44 Adam Oh, really? Bob's waffle house, John's waffle house?

36:47 Drew Adam Corolla's waffle house.

36:48 Adam Oh, last name too.

36:49 Drew It's for yours.

36:50 Adam Jesus, I got to get over there. I can see them over at Adam Corolla's waffle house right now going, it's been 11 years just smoking, sitting there. All the tables made, changing, taking out the old flower in the vase that's at my table, putting a new one in every morning. God, they love their waffles. I swear to Christ, I ate a waffle and a half every six years. They throw me right out of Florida. I think that's one of the questions they ask you if you want to take up residency in that state.

37:25 Drew Well, you know, when you drive in the border patrol.

37:27 Adam How many metric tons of waffle do you eat each year, sir? Yeah, you try to leave Florida, they want to know if you're transporting waffles.

37:35 Caller Well, back to the point.

37:37 Adam All right, Anderson.

37:39 Drew Oh, boy.

37:39 Adam I'll tell you, I'll tell you, there's no smaller fans of this show than the people actually in this building. That's what keeps us real. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we're back, a half-hour dedicated to waffles, and then I'm going to sing a song about waffles.

37:54 I don't even want to hear from Adam.

37:55 Adam All right, we'll be back. Yeah, yeah, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew and I just got back from the bathroom, we pee together. Drew hits the urinal, I hit the bowl. Usually the urinal's mine, and Drew, you stepped in early tonight, you took the urinal.

38:48 Drew Yeah, thank goodness.

38:50 Adam I was hitting the bowl and noticed something on the back top outside of the bowl that looked like it came out of someone's ass in a hurry. And I gotta admit, I have reached that part of the bowl myself on occasion and have been dumbfounded by it because I cannot figure out how your ass defies gravity that way. I mean, it actually...

39:17 Drew It's in a liquid form.

39:18 Adam All right, you're sitting on the toilet, right? Where's your ass when you're... I mean, where's your anus when you're on the toilet? It ain't straight down.

39:25 Drew Right.

39:26 Adam If straight down, let's make it o'clock. If straight down is 6 o'clock and the bowl is 9 o'clock, where's your anus? About 6.45, 7 o'clock?

39:38 Drew Yeah, 7 o'clock.

39:39 Adam About 7 o'clock?

39:40 Drew Yeah.

39:40 Adam So it's almost down, right?

39:42 Drew Yeah.

39:42 Adam Especially if you're like me. I like to put my hands on my knees and lean way back, like I'm a fighter pilot taken off of a carrier. All right. So I lean. Okay. But anyway, your anus is about 7 o'clock, right?

39:54 Drew Yeah.

39:55 Adam Okay. So how does it get up to past 9 o'clock, like 9.15, 9.20 on that toilet bowl? Do you know what I mean?

40:04 Drew Splash.

40:06 Adam Splash off of something?

40:07 Drew Yeah.

40:08 Adam No, it doesn't.

40:08 Drew Where?

40:09 Adam It hits the bowl, comes up? Yeah. It comes up, but then how's it like get around and on top? Oh, it is bad news in there. Anderson, have you seen that?

40:18 Drew It's worth visiting.

40:20 Adam I'll tell you, listen, you leave that on a toilet, and you know what you should do? You should leave five bucks, too, right on the top, because that poor son of a bitch cleaning crew is going to come in here tonight and really earn their money.

40:32 I think that's what happened. I think it was on the top, and then it dripped down and around underneath, and then he cleaned the top, and then it's still underneath.

40:38 Drew Oh, you saw this?

40:40 Adam You saw what happened?

40:41 It's been there for a while. I use the girls now.

40:43 Drew Oh, Anderson can't hang.

40:44 Caller He can't hang with that.

40:49 Adam Well, let me tell you, unlike Engineer Anderson, I'm a doer. I don't just go into the girls' room. I get in there and try to do something. I peed on that thing.

40:59 Drew You called the people to go look at it.

41:02 Adam I peed my best on that thing, and it wouldn't budge. I peed all over that thing. It's always funny. I love using my urine as an instrument. You know what I mean?

41:11 Drew What else I like is that you didn't say a thing about it until I was walking out, and I went, whoa, nice effect.

41:16 Adam Yeah. It really was like a Rorschach test going on on the back of that toilet bowl.

41:24 Drew How's your handy dandy cleaner doing?

41:26 Adam My ass cleaner?

41:27 Drew Yeah.

41:28 Adam Nice. I just hopped on that baby last night. I got to tell you, I got a toilet that sprays water on my ass. And I don't use it every day. You know why? I don't want to get soft. I don't want to lose my edge. I got to stay hungry. You know what I mean? That's what happened to Tyson. Got all those millions of dollars, bought a couple of bangled tigers, raped a few chicks, he got soft. You know what I'm saying?

41:48 Drew Yeah, you don't want to get like that.

41:49 Adam Went back to prison, got a little hungry.

41:50 Drew Yeah, I see.

41:51 Adam That's what I do. I keep it real. I don't sit on that thing. Sit on that thing a couple of times a week.

41:55 Drew I bet when you do, you don't heat it either.

41:57 Adam Well, it heats automatically when you sit on it. Tim?

42:03 Yeah.

42:03 Adam You're 20. What's up?

42:06 Caller Yeah. I work at a security company. I'm guarding a building that they used to manufacture Agent Orange in. And it closed down about 20 years ago. I was just wondering if there's any chance of it still lingering around anywhere.

42:19 Adam What's in it now?

42:21 Caller Nothing. It's abandoned right now.

42:23 Drew Just because we brought up somebody's email is about Agent Orange, we're suddenly experts on Agent Orange.

42:28 Adam Yeah. Now, you're fine. Listen, I mean, that thing, from what I understand, that stuff was loaded up in C-130s and just sprayed all over the jungle. I mean, there are guys like bivvacking down there and they just sprayed it on them. So, I mean, you pretty much have to get doused in this stuff, I think, or have some pretty serious contact with it. You standing out in the parking lot of a place that used to have it.

42:53 Drew 20 years ago. In a barrel. 30 years ago.

42:55 Adam Yeah, is not going to do it. Christy?

42:58 Caller Yep.

42:59 Adam You're 17. What's up?

43:00 Caller Actually, I heard that as soon as semen touches air, the sperm dies.

43:05 Drew No.

43:06 Caller Okay.

43:07 Drew Who told you that?

43:08 Caller My boyfriend.

43:09 Adam Good.

43:10 Drew Guys will tell you anything to get what they want.

43:12 I guess.

43:14 Adam When it touches the air, it dies.

43:17 Drew Yeah. When it dries up completely, it's pretty much done.

43:21 Adam Yeah, why would that be true? It's not true with anything else, is it?

43:25 Drew Yeah, the oxygen.

43:26 Adam I mean, if you have blood that's tainted with HIV and it squirts out in your mouth, it doesn't die on the way to your mouth, right?

43:33 Caller I guess.

43:34 Adam All right.

43:35 Caller Okay.

43:35 Adam Well, how airborne is his semen, by the way? What's he jacking off into a fan or something?

43:43 Caller I don't know, just as soon as it touches air.

43:45 Adam I see. All right, baby.

43:47 Okay.

43:49 Adam All right. Now, if he's talking about compressed air, he may have a point. Okay. You're just saying just the air. I see.

43:58 Caller It touches the air.

43:59 Adam Okay.

44:00 Caller All right.

44:00 Adam All right. Well, he's just an idiot, but that wouldn't affect the anyway because it wouldn't affect you, right?

44:09 Guest Yeah.

44:10 Adam Mandy?

44:11 Guest Oh, hi.

44:11 Adam You're 18. What's up?

44:13 Guest I fantasize about something. It's kind of weird.

44:21 Drew Okay.

44:23 Guest It's a character. I've been thinking about it since I was 14.

44:30 Adam This character?

44:32 Yeah.

44:32 Drew The Grinch?

44:32 Adam Don Nott?

44:33 Guest Huh?

44:36 Drew Wendy Who.

44:37 Hey, how you doing?

44:38 Adam Who?

44:40 Caller No, no.

44:41 Caller Who, who?

44:43 Caller No.

44:48 Drew Let's try to help her.

44:49 Adam What's become of our lives? You know what I mean?

44:52 Drew Come on, hang in there.

44:55 Adam What character, you idiot?

44:56 Guest Sonic.

44:57 Adam Who?

44:58 Guest Sonic.

44:59 Adam Sonic?

45:00 Drew Hedgehog?

45:01 Guest Yeah.

45:02 Adam True. How do you know who's Sonic? Oh, you got kids.

45:04 Drew Kids, yeah.

45:05 Adam Yeah. You know, it's funny. Drew's never seen The Shining, but he comes in here every night all pumped up about Thomas the Tank Engine.

45:11 Drew You bet. Think of a movie about that.

45:12 Adam Idiot. What's happened to you? Think what's happened to you, Drew.

45:17 Drew I'm reconnecting with the culture.

45:19 Adam Every piece of dialogue from Thomas the Tank Engine, you've never seen The Shining.

45:23 Drew I just saw Rocky and Bullwinkle.

45:24 Adam You got to re-enter adulthood, brother, and start masturbating with me all day. All right. So, Mandy?

45:32 Drew What kind of fantasies do you have?

45:33 Adam What's that hedgehog doing to you?

45:36 Caller Kind of like giving me oral.

45:38 Caller Sure.

45:39 Drew Is there anything about the experience you had with the hedgehog that connects with something traumatic, growing up or anything?

45:50 Guest Well, I kind of had a tough childhood. I was kind of obsessed with him when he came out and all that. Okay.

45:57 Adam So but here's what Drew is saying. This is interesting. You had that Sonic the Hedgehog game. You're playing that. Then someone comes in and gives you a goose in or a little molesting or something. Then it's back to the game again. Now, all of a sudden, you're sort of associating that with your sexuality.

46:15 Caller Well, I have a doll and it started with that.

46:22 Adam Anything happened to you growing up?

46:24 Guest Well, I was molested when I was four.

46:27 Adam Okay. But it's good that we talked about the doll. And so you're molested when you're four. But you didn't have that hedgehog game then, did you?

46:38 Caller Wasn't out.

46:39 Drew Wasn't out yet.

46:40 Adam When did it come out?

46:42 Guest I think it was 1991 when I was 10.

46:45 Adam All right. So were you molested again at that time?

46:52 Guest My dad had like a drug thing, and me and my siblings were put in foster care and all that stuff.

47:00 Adam Oh boy. Who molested you? Your dad?

47:03 Guest No. It was my friend's brother.

47:07 Adam All right. Well, so Mandy?

47:10 Guest Yeah.

47:12 Adam I kind of like the idea that you're sort of caught up in this hedgehog. I mean, as opposed to, do you have a boyfriend?

47:21 Guest No.

47:22 Caller I tried to have one before, but I was too scared.

47:25 Adam Good.

47:25 Drew Good. Okay.

47:26 Adam That's a good instinct. I don't know why, but we like that. All right. So are you getting some therapy? Are you taking care of some of your problems?

47:35 Drew Yeah.

47:36 Adam You are?

47:37 Drew Yeah.

47:38 Adam Good. Don't worry about this hedgehog thing.

47:40 Drew Just consider it a symptom. Talk to your therapist about it and it's a symptom. It will settle down.

47:43 Adam Yeah. You actually masturbate to this hedgehog?

47:47 Caller I just think about it.

47:51 Adam Yeah. Okay. All right. You just stick with the therapy. All right. Stay away from boys. I got to be honest with you. Remember Shira, Lord of the Jungle?

48:01 Drew Sure.

48:02 Adam The cartoon ran about 1975, 1976. Yeah. I still think about her once in a while.

48:11 Drew Sweet poly pure bread? Oh.

48:13 Adam That was a piece of s. That was underdog's girlfriend? Yeah. She was tight, that bitch. Yeah.

48:20 Nice.

48:21 Adam All right. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

48:23 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

49:07 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Yeah.

49:10 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

49:12 Caller Woo!

49:13 Adam That's good radio. Timing them beats. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1-er. Yeah. All right. Joanne?

49:26 Caller Yeah.

49:26 Adam You're 20?

49:28 Caller Hi.

49:28 Caller What's happening?

49:30 Caller Well, long time listener, first time caller.

49:32 Caller Great.

49:33 Caller And Adam, you cracked me up. I saw the two of you at Stanford when you came to do your live show and you were even better in person.

49:40 Adam Oh, thank you. That's right. A big outdoor arena.

49:44 Caller Yeah. It's really nice. You know, you sit on the grass.

49:47 Adam Yeah.

49:48 Caller Okay. Well, my question is about impotence.

49:51 Caller All right.

49:52 Caller And I'm just curious if there are any little tricks to kind of...

49:55 Drew What's actually happening here?

49:58 Caller Well, I just started dating someone. And everything's fine until we put the condom on and then suddenly...

50:04 Caller Yeah.

50:05 Drew Some guys have that problem. And that's not really impotence.

50:08 Adam Yeah. You want to know how to get rid of that?

50:10 Caller Yes, please.

50:11 Adam Lose 15 pounds.

50:12 Drew No.

50:13 Caller No, Adam, I don't need to lose 15 pounds.

50:15 Adam I just wanted to freak her out.

50:17 Drew You can get on the pill. You're fat.

50:19 Adam Oh, Drew, please have dairy.

50:20 Drew And everybody can get tested.

50:22 Adam I'm sorry? Yeah. Drew had to sneeze. Hold on a second.

50:25 Drew Sorry. But you can get on the pill and you can both get tested and evaluated to make sure the risks are limited and the potential not use a condom.

50:34 Adam Is it really only?

50:34 Caller What causes that?

50:35 Adam Is it really only the condom?

50:37 Caller Yeah. It's fine until then. So I'm always like, oh, here we go. You know?

50:41 Drew Yeah. Some guys have that experience.

50:42 Caller But I just started dating him so I don't want to embarrass him.

50:46 Adam Right. Okay. So hold on a second. Let me backtrack here. The penis is working fine. You got the foreplay going. Maybe a little oral something?

50:55 Caller Yeah.

50:56 Adam Nice. Stanford student, are you?

50:59 Caller No, my little sister is.

51:00 Adam Yeah. Townie. Yeah. I didn't figure the Stanford chick's butt out. All right. So a little oral sex.

51:06 Caller Yeah.

51:07 Adam Penis is going fine. Plenty hard, right? Now it's time to enter.

51:13 Caller Yeah.

51:13 Adam You put the condom on and you lose it.

51:16 Caller Yeah.

51:16 Adam Right. Let me tell you what causes that. It's the break in the action and the sort of-

51:22 Caller No way. It's not. It's not. I've tried that. I've tried holding it. It's open and there's no time between.

51:29 Adam But no, I know it's a nanosecond, but emotionally, it's a break in the action.

51:36 Drew Rhythm break.

51:37 Adam It's a rhythm break.

51:38 Caller It seems more physical, though. It doesn't seem mental. Although, I don't know, obviously.

51:43 Adam Well, obviously, it's not physical because the penis works fine.

51:48 Drew It's not a medication or anything like that.

51:50 Caller Is he?

51:51 Drew No. Yeah.

51:52 Caller I don't think so.

51:53 Drew He's not diabetic. Nothing.

51:54 Caller No.

51:55 Adam Let me tell you, it's a break in the action, and not only is it a break in the action, even a small break in the action, but more importantly, it's a time to think, oh my God, now here's what we're doing. This is it. I'm going in.

52:08 Caller Really?

52:09 Adam Then the mind starts racing. If you lost it the first time, you'll for sure lose it the second time.

52:15 Caller Right, right.

52:16 Drew Any way you can put the column as sort of part of the whole experience?

52:19 Caller I mean, yes.

52:20 Drew You know what I'm saying?

52:21 Adam Like a dinner.

52:22 Caller I'm sorry?

52:23 Adam Well, I mean-

52:23 Drew How about your drill, Adam? Drilling.

52:25 Adam Okay, here's seriously-

52:27 Caller You're telling me I can't do anything about it.

52:29 Drew No, no. There's some advice going on right now.

52:30 Adam Here's what I want to say, and I want to say this to all guys, because a lot of guys have this problem, and here's the problem, quite honestly. It's like it's the reason football players practice in pads because you know what I mean?

52:50 Drew So their penis gets hard?

52:52 Adam Yes. Okay. No, if you're practicing in a pair of cutoffs in a T-shirt, then the game comes around. You put the helmet, the shoulder pads, the cup, and all that junk on, and you run around out there, you can't catch a ball anymore. It feels weird.

53:03 Caller So you think he should wear a condom all day long?

53:05 Adam No, only practice. Close. I think, and I know this sounds weird, but he should get himself a handful of condoms. He should go home.

53:14 Drew Go ahead and get them at drdrew.com. Just register there.

53:17 Adam And in a short 18 months, you'll be getting those condoms in the mail at a nominal charge.

53:22 Drew No, we have somebody taking care of that now.

53:23 Adam I'm sure you do. Here's the point.

53:25 Drew Free.

53:26 Adam Sure you do. Here's the point. He masturbates, and halfway into the masturbatory session, puts the condom on, and then finishes this masturbatory session into the condom. That way, his penis gets used to a break in the action with putting the condom on.

53:42 Caller How do I suggest that?

53:44 Adam Well, listen, I think you guys can talk about this. I mean, you were there, right?

53:49 Caller Yeah, but it's very early on in the relationship. I feel like if I talk to him about it, without... I mean, I thought maybe I could just do a little something that would help him out without having to talk about it.

53:58 Adam All right. Okay. Plan two, put your thumb in his ass. I don't know what you want me to say. What happened? I mean, what do you guys talk about when it doesn't work then after that?

54:11 Caller We just do other stuff, but it kind of ruins it. Back to the oral?

54:16 Adam Yeah. And he doesn't say anything?

54:18 Caller No. But I mean, we've only had sex maybe five times.

54:21 Adam But there's no sorry or hey, or this is weird or nothing?

54:24 Caller No. I mean.

54:25 Adam Let me tell you what I do when that happens. It goes like this. Ma'am, excuse me for just one minute. I just need a second. Hold on a second. Then I get up, I walk out of the bedroom, you see me go into the bathroom and close the door.

54:40 Drew You hear a scream.

54:41 Adam Then here's what you hear. What was that? What the hell was that? I don't know what that was because, listen, no, you listen to me. When you act that way, penis, it's like I don't even know you, man. Now just tell me what the hell that was. What was that? I don't know what that was. All right, cool down. Let's not argue. Hey, hand, hand. Yeah, yeah. Flush the toilet. I don't want to think you're in here whacking off. Okay. All right. Now we're going to go back in there. We're going to get hard. We're going to stuff ourselves into that rubber. Okay. Up, up, up, up. No, no, no. It's not open for negotiation.

55:29 Drew On three. Ready?

55:31 Adam Break. And we go back in and finish the job. All right? All right. Listen, you better talk to them about it. All right. All right. Well, what do you want? Come on. Just I'll tell you what. I'll tell you.

55:45 Caller I thought Drew might know.

55:47 Adam Well, what do you want to say? What do you want him to do? What possible piece of advice could we give you?

55:52 Drew He's actually giving you reasonable advice. And then it needs to be talked about. It needs to be done in a non-threatening way and certainly approach from the standpoint of how much you're turned on by him, how much you appreciate, how much you like this relationship. And you want to work on something. What can I do to help? That's all to be helpful. Listen, he wants to solve the problem too, I'm sure of it.

56:09 Adam And believe me, you could probably cut the tension in there with a knife.

56:13 Drew Absolutely.

56:14 Adam He's probably dying for you to just bring it up.

56:16 Drew Talking about it takes away a lot of the anxiety. So come on, Joanne, you're ridiculous.

56:20 Adam You're 28, come on. Matt?

56:23 Caller Yeah.

56:23 Adam You're 19, what's happening?

56:25 Caller Okay, my sister is in an abusive marriage and she is refusing to press charges against him.

56:31 Drew What state are you in?

56:32 Caller California.

56:33 Drew In this state, you really have an obligation to report it.

56:36 Caller I'm allowed to.

56:37 Drew You have an obligation to him. There are domestic violence laws here that are quite stringent.

56:42 Adam Is he hitting, is he hitting her?

56:43 Caller Yeah.

56:44 Adam How do you know?

56:44 Caller Because she told me.

56:45 Adam Okay.

56:46 Caller And right now I had thought that I cannot do anything unless she would press charges.

56:51 Drew Do you know her doctor by any chance?

56:53 Caller No.

56:54 Adam People don't have that.

56:55 Drew I'm just curious. Does she have a doctor?

56:57 Caller Yeah.

56:58 Drew Why don't you call him or her?

57:00 Adam Thanks, Matt.

57:00 Drew Because that doctor will have an obligation to report it and it can come sort of anonymously through you or he or she can at least look for the signs and report it and be the person that's sort of the fall person.

57:13 Adam Now, Drew, what do you typically charge for something like that? Seventy-five bucks, eighty bucks? No charge? You ever done that?

57:21 Drew Yeah.

57:21 Adam People have called you? You reported people?

57:24 Drew No, not that route.

57:25 Adam People came in with like a black eye or something?

57:27 Drew Yeah.

57:27 Adam Yeah. So they fell down some stairs?

57:28 Drew Exactly.

57:29 Adam You said they lived in a mobile home?

57:30 Drew Exactly.

57:32 Adam Interesting.

57:33 Drew Really?

57:34 Adam Women?

57:34 Drew The state of California are really, really tough on physicians now for not even reporting suspicious situations.

57:39 Adam Matt? How old is your sister? Uh-huh. Does this guy drink?

57:46 Caller I believe so.

57:47 Adam What's up with your sister? Was your dad abusive?

57:50 Drew Yes.

57:51 Adam Shocking. All right, Matt. I'm sorry you're burdened with this, but now you got to pick up daddy's pieces too.

57:58 Drew But the way to get around it is to call somebody in the medical system and let them report it.

58:03 Adam He was about to say something. What's up, Matt? Do you have something to say?

58:07 Caller I'm having very irrational thoughts right now. I really want to hurt this guy.

58:11 Adam Right.

58:11 Drew That's not going to solve anything. He's going to end up with you in trouble.

58:14 Caller On a level, I know that.

58:16 Drew I understand. So let's go ahead and report it and let the system do what it needs to do, okay?

58:19 Caller Okay. Thank you.

58:20 Adam Do they have kids?

58:21 Caller Yes.

58:22 Adam How many?

58:22 Caller One.

58:23 Adam Okay. Good. I mean good that it's not two. All right, Matt. Thanks for being a concerned brother.

58:28 Caller All right. Thank you.

58:29 Adam All right. Bye. I'll tell you, I wish my brother-in-law would give my sister just a mild ass whooping every once in a while to straighten her out. You know what I mean? I'm one of the few people that calls up and ask him to abuse.

58:41 Drew What's fascinating is that the intensity of Matt's thing is all about that too.

58:47 Adam Right.

58:47 Drew For Matt.

58:49 Adam Yeah, well, she's in this abusive relationship because daddy was abusive and Matt's involving himself in here.

58:56 Drew Because daddy's abusive.

58:58 Adam Yeah.

58:59 Drew He's going to end up doing something.

59:00 Adam He's going to kill this guy.

59:01 Drew The pattern would be, yeah.

59:03 Adam Yeah, the first swing of the axe handle is going to be for this guy and the next 180 while the corpse is lying there lifelessly. That's going to be for dad. Yeah.

59:15 Caller Hi.

59:16 Adam You're 15.

59:17 Caller Yeah.

59:17 Adam What's up?

59:18 Guest First, I want to state about one chick that I went through a phase where I cried and fantasized about Jonathan Davis.

59:24 Adam Oh, really?

59:25 Caller Yeah.

59:26 Drew Same guy?

59:27 Adam He's two time an honor.

59:28 Drew Makes everybody cry.

59:30 Adam Yeah.

59:30 Guest He's like sensitive.

59:32 Drew I kind of teared up a little bit when I met him.

59:34 Adam Yeah. He's. Yeah.

59:36 Guest What?

59:37 Adam Well, it's the way when he wears a kilt. It's exciting.

59:41 Guest Yeah.

59:41 Drew What's going on?

59:43 Guest My girlfriend told me that when you use a vibrator for a while, you get dependent on it. And then when she eats me out, I can't come.

59:52 Drew Your girlfriend?

59:53 Caller Yeah.

59:53 Drew So that's what's been happening to you?

59:55 Caller Yeah.

59:56 Adam That's happening to you?

59:57 Caller Yeah.

59:57 Caller And do you think it's because of the vibrator?

59:59 Drew 15.

1:00:01 Caller Well, I'll be 16 next month.

1:00:02 Drew Okay. That makes it different.

1:00:03 Adam Listen, when I was. The chicks in my high school, like at 15, they were like, here's what the topic of conversation was.

1:00:10 Drew Barbie?

1:00:10 Adam I got a new Hello Kitty eraser. And it came with decals. You want to try it? Now it's like, yeah, I got the Man O'War 2005 series, and it takes a nickel cadmium battery. And I burnt that thing out. I don't know if I can hook it up to my dad's camper. He drives a truck with a camper shell on, I want to hook that up to that battery.

1:00:35 Drew How about what follows, someone my girlfriend is eating me out?

1:00:37 Adam Oh my god. Is that what she said?

1:00:39 Drew Yes.

1:00:40 Adam Hey, Rhea?

1:00:41 Caller Yeah?

1:00:41 Adam What happened to you, honey?

1:00:44 Caller Nothing.

1:00:44 Adam Something. Come on.

1:00:47 Guest Well, I messed around with a little girl when I was six.

1:00:52 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:53 Guest But that doesn't like-

1:00:55 Drew No, that'll do it.

1:00:56 Caller That wasn't a bad memory.

1:00:58 Drew No, but it does. It creates a-

1:01:01 Adam No.

1:01:02 Drew No, it doesn't.

1:01:03 Adam It helps, but that ain't all of it.

1:01:05 Drew No, child on child sexual abuse is a way to get-

1:01:08 Adam She messed around with a girl.

1:01:10 Drew Girl messed around with her.

1:01:11 Adam Did the girl mess around with you?

1:01:12 Guest Yeah.

1:01:13 Adam How old was she?

1:01:14 Caller Like same age.

1:01:16 Drew Yeah, child on child sexual abuse is-

1:01:17 Adam Same age?

1:01:18 Guest Yeah.

1:01:19 Adam You're both six?

1:01:20 Guest Yeah.

1:01:20 Adam How many times?

1:01:21 Guest My mom was like a slut.

1:01:22 Adam Whose mom?

1:01:23 Guest Her mom was a slut.

1:01:25 Drew Yeah, her mom had some guys around that sexually abused this kid.

1:01:28 Caller Yeah.

1:01:30 Adam How many times had happened with this girl?

1:01:31 Caller Like every day when I lived there.

1:01:34 Adam There you go. You lived there? Oh, every day. Okay, listen. I thought you're talking about one incident with you and the six-year-old.

1:01:42 Caller No.

1:01:42 Adam No, this every day?

1:01:44 Caller Yeah.

1:01:44 Adam All right. Well, now here we are. Fantastic. Why were you living with this other girl?

1:01:50 Guest I wasn't living with her. I was living next door. She was my neighbor.

1:01:52 Adam I see.

1:01:53 Guest I said when I lived there on accident because I live in Albuquerque now and that was in Phoenix.

1:01:57 Adam I see. Any difference between Albuquerque and Phoenix?

1:02:00 Drew Same thing.

1:02:01 Adam Yeah. Same hell pit. It was more boring. What is it? About 145 degrees there now? Yeah. Listen, I know we have listeners over there, but how stupid you got to be to live on the surface of the sun that way. You know what I mean? I swear to Christ, it's 90 degrees where I live and I'm miserable.

1:02:19 Guest I spent my whole life in a pool.

1:02:22 Drew We went to Vegas just to enjoy that lovely heat last week.

1:02:25 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. I went there for a funeral. I almost threw myself in the grave. I had been drinking the entire night. I had slept for 45 minutes and I was standing there in a suit in a 120 degree sun. I almost threw myself in. All right. So, Raya? Yeah? Why don't you slow it down just a little bit, honey? You're 15.

1:02:44 Caller Uh-huh.

1:02:45 Adam You know what I'm saying? You just want to keep acting out fine. Hey, but don't get pregnant, right?

1:02:50 Drew Well, she's a sexual compulsive, right?

1:02:52 Caller I'm scared of men.

1:02:53 Adam Oh, you're scared of men? What happened?

1:02:56 Caller Nothing, really. Seriously. Nothing happened.

1:02:58 Adam Oh, good. No man ever did anything to you? Where's daddy?

1:03:02 Guest He's with me. He's a truck driver. He's DM every weekend.

1:03:05 Adam Fantastic. All right. So, he's your knight in shining armor. Good, right? You're all lesbian then, through and through, right? Yeah. Okay, good.

1:03:14 Drew But she's also sexual compulsive. She's using vibrance so much that she's desensitized.

1:03:17 Adam Hope Dan's truck doesn't have a radio in it, but what were you saying, Drew?

1:03:21 Drew She's used the vibrator so much she desensitized herself. She's a sexual compulsive.

1:03:24 Adam Right.

1:03:25 Drew And she's hardwired because of this incident with the other kid.

1:03:29 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you something about vibrators, ladies. They should really be treated with the same respect that a handgun is treated with.

1:03:38 Drew Safety.

1:03:39 Adam Never keep the batteries in it. Always keep it on a shelf out of reach of children. Only use it in self-defense. You know what I'm saying? You pull that thing out every night and there's going to be an accident. I mean, someone's going to get hurt. Your clitoris is going to be on a respirator. All right. Listen, you know what? When it comes to people like Raya, I'm so glad that she hates men. I'm so glad she's scared of men and all I can say is enjoy. I don't know what else to say. All right. Kim?

1:04:14 Caller Yeah.

1:04:14 Adam You're 16?

1:04:15 Caller Yeah.

1:04:16 Adam What's up?

1:04:17 Caller Okay.

1:04:19 Caller Last weekend, I was at my dad's house and I caught him with another woman.

1:04:29 Drew You're at his house?

1:04:30 Caller Yeah.

1:04:31 Caller My parents were split up for a while, but then they got back together and then I just caught his house because my mom has her own house but she still lives with him.

1:04:43 Drew Totally confused.

1:04:45 Adam Yeah. They split up. They each got their own place and then they got back together, but they kept their own place.

1:04:50 Caller Yeah.

1:04:50 Guest My mom still has her own place, but she just lives with us.

1:04:56 Adam All right. So you're calling it at his house, but you're really saying at your house, his house, and your mom's house.

1:05:03 Drew I think this is just a living arrangement for the family, for the sake of the kids.

1:05:07 Adam Interesting.

1:05:08 Drew Why else would they keep both houses? They both have separate lives. And Kim just happened to walk in on that.

1:05:14 Adam Kim? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe your dad and your mom have a little agreement that they're going to stay together and kind of keep things pieced together like Drew does for the sake of the family.

1:05:27 Guest I don't think so.

1:05:29 Adam Yeah. I don't want to burst your bubble, but do you have any younger brothers or sisters?

1:05:33 Guest No.

1:05:34 Adam You're the youngest? Yeah. Okay.

1:05:37 Caller I'm the only child.

1:05:38 Adam Here's my bet. The day you move out to go to junior college, is magically mommy and daddy move back to their own pads.

1:05:47 Drew Right. I think that's true.

1:05:49 Guest I don't think it's like that.

1:05:51 Adam You don't think so?

1:05:52 Drew No.

1:05:52 Adam Well, why is your mom keeping that other house then?

1:05:55 Guest She just like has it. Like nobody's bought it yet.

1:05:58 Adam She's selling it.

1:05:59 Drew Is there a for sale sign on it?

1:06:00 Caller Yeah.

1:06:02 Adam Okay.

1:06:02 Drew Well.

1:06:03 Adam I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Our callers don't sweat the details. They'll let you wax on for 20 minutes about something. Without jumping in and saying she's selling it. So your mom's furniture isn't in there. She doesn't keep her clothes in there.

1:06:17 Drew No.

1:06:17 Adam She's all in here.

1:06:18 Guest Yeah.

1:06:19 Adam This is essentially just a piece of property.

1:06:21 Guest Yeah.

1:06:21 Drew Have you talked to your dad about what you saw? No.

1:06:24 Adam And what happened? You walked in and where was he?

1:06:28 Guest In the housekeeper's room.

1:06:30 Adam The housekeeper's room.

1:06:33 Drew Doing what?

1:06:36 Caller What do you mean?

1:06:42 Adam Oh, Drew, don't talk. Let's just see how long this is.

1:06:44 Caller Okay. All right.

1:06:46 Guest Hello?

1:06:48 Adam Hello?

1:06:49 Guest Uh-huh.

1:06:50 Adam What do you mean?

1:06:51 Guest He was, like, in the housekeeper's room with, like, that other woman.

1:06:56 Adam Uh-huh.

1:06:58 Caller Hello?

1:06:59 Drew Doing what?

1:07:01 Caller Stuff.

1:07:02 Adam Oh, stuff?

1:07:04 Caller Yeah.

1:07:05 Adam I see. Now it's all coming into focus. Stuff.

1:07:09 Guest You want me to tell you specifically?

1:07:11 Adam Well, I mean, were they actually engaged in sex?

1:07:14 Caller Yeah.

1:07:15 Adam And was the door open?

1:07:17 Caller No.

1:07:18 Adam You just heard it?

1:07:20 Caller I didn't know it was.

1:07:22 Adam Oh, okay. Now. Now I know. See, because the door was closed.

1:07:28 Drew And she didn't know what it was.

1:07:29 Adam And she didn't know what it was. I see.

1:07:31 Drew Now I see crystal clear.

1:07:33 Adam Yeah.

1:07:33 Drew Because now, yeah. Magically, I know what it was.

1:07:36 Adam Right. So how do you know what they were doing if you didn't know what it was?

1:07:39 I went in.

1:07:40 Adam You opened the door.

1:07:41 Yeah.

1:07:42 Adam Oh. That's a boner. That's a boner killer.

1:07:46 Drew So your dad knows you saw them.

1:07:48 Caller I don't know.

1:07:49 Caller I opened it halfway.

1:07:52 Adam Yeah.

1:07:53 Guest And I saw it.

1:07:55 Adam And there's a small plane that's going to crash in your house. You aware of that? And all right. So you think he didn't see it. Has he said anything to you?

1:08:04 Caller Nope.

1:08:05 Adam Are you distracted? Are you OK, Kim? You here?

1:08:08 Drew Yeah. Just watching the plane crash.

1:08:09 Adam I see. And who was the woman? Did you know her?

1:08:13 Caller Uh-uh.

1:08:14 Adam And did you just leave the house at that point?

1:08:17 Caller Yeah.

1:08:18 Adam OK. Drew, any more questions or we're going to turn over all the cards?

1:08:22 Drew Let's turn them all over.

1:08:23 Adam All right. Kim? I don't know if I'd get involved with this if I were you.

1:08:29 Drew Yeah. She's the only child, tight family.

1:08:32 Adam Yeah. How about, well, hold on. Should she talk to her dad? I got to turn that. She knows a truck driving through the house.

1:08:39 Drew I think so. It's going to bug her.

1:08:42 Adam OK.

1:08:42 Drew She needs to, she deserves to know.

1:08:43 Adam She needs to say to dad, dad.

1:08:45 Drew I saw something that bugs me.

1:08:46 Adam No, no. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Well, dad could have seen her.

1:08:51 Drew Yeah.

1:08:52 Adam Now, dad would have said something. Dad would have been scared to death. She would have had a big stuffed animal in her bed and a new in-sync album or something. Listen, she needs to say to her dad, I came home, I heard noises coming out of the maid's room. I know you're in there with somebody and what's up? I'm not going to tell mom, but you just make me feel right about this because I don't feel too good about it right now.

1:09:18 Drew Something along those lines needs to be said.

1:09:19 Adam Tell me this ain't going to happen again. Tell me you and mommy have an agreement.

1:09:24 Drew Or to stay out of it. Yeah.

1:09:26 Adam Tell me something that's going to make me sleep better tonight. Yeah. Okay. That's what you do. Brandon?

1:09:33 Caller Yeah?

1:09:33 Adam You're 17.

1:09:35 Caller Yeah. I'm going off to college next year and two years ago my parents got divorced. Right now they're, they have some like working relationship. They're not together but they're talking just so that like I can have a father figure and so my other brother can have a father figure. But they're, they still fight and my dad's always about bad mouthing, not always, but he does my mother and it's kind of worsening my relationship with my mother.

1:10:07 Drew Are you an only child?

1:10:08 Caller No. I have two younger brothers.

1:10:10 Adam And when are you going to college?

1:10:11 Caller In August.

1:10:12 Adam How about you talking to your dad telling him, listen, not for me, I'm going off, but what about the younger brothers? You're going to screw them up with this trash talking about mom.

1:10:21 Caller Last year, last summer, we tried to confront him about everything but he said that it's adult business and that we shouldn't be getting into it and.

1:10:33 Drew Yeah, I agree with that and he should keep you out of it.

1:10:35 Caller Yeah.

1:10:36 Adam I mean, yeah, you should say, good, I don't want to get into it.

1:10:39 Drew Yeah, it's my mom, shut up.

1:10:40 Adam Shut your pie hole. But. You think you could kick your dad's ass?

1:10:44 Drew Nice effect.

1:10:45 Caller No.

1:10:45 Adam No?

1:10:46 Caller No.

1:10:46 Adam I bet you could.

1:10:47 Caller Possibly, but I doubt it.

1:10:49 Adam You got two younger brothers?

1:10:50 Caller Yes.

1:10:50 Adam You three go, all three of you, right for the nuts. It's like you get in a little huddle and you go, meet at dad's nuts, ready, break. You take him down.

1:11:00 Drew How old are your brothers?

1:11:01 Caller Fifteen and nine.

1:11:03 Adam All right. What about talking to your mom and saying, listen, when you guys argue in front of people, it's really, it hurts.

1:11:11 Caller The problem is not with my mom, it's with my dad.

1:11:13 Adam I know, but your mom is with your dad.

1:11:16 Caller She's not with him.

1:11:17 Adam I know, but she's staying with him. It takes two to tango. Your mom is an adult. Your mom's going to have to talk to him. Talk to your mom.

1:11:27 Caller We've tried that, but he won't listen to her. He won't talk to her.

1:11:31 Adam Okay, then hire a drifter to kill him.

1:11:33 Drew A great consequence for your dad. If he starts that crap, just leave. Walk out of whatever room he's in. Just don't be around it.

1:11:40 Adam Thankfully, I could kick my dad by my eighth or ninth. Ninth. Eighth birthday. Well, yeah, eighth birthday.

1:11:48 Drew I've never met your dad. I just realized I met your mom a million times.

1:11:50 Adam Pure pussy, my dad. World's biggest wuss. Nice guy. Smart guy. Interesting guy. Sort of. Not too... No, not really that fascinating. But an intelligent guy. But just a 100% wussy. 110%. I called him tonight. He did... I swear I could've kicked his ass. I could've kicked his ass when I was eight, eight and a half.

1:12:17 Drew That's what happened tonight.

1:12:18 Adam I called my dad tonight on my way to work. He was asleep from about 9.30, he was asleep.

1:12:21 Caller Ooh.

1:12:24 Adam Had some conference or something. He had to get up at five. And my dad has no hobbies, no interests, no sports, no teams, doesn't... You hand my dad... If you took a Crescent wrench, a Phillips head screwdriver and a toaster and put it in front of him and then gave him a label with a card on it with each one of those names, told him to arrange it in front of the corresponding item, he'd screw that up. He'd probably get toaster, but he'd get... He'd probably confuse Crescent wrench with Phillips head screwdriver. Doesn't own a tool, doesn't know nothing, doesn't know anything about cars, nothing. Pure wuss. Pure wuss. I swear to God, a cat could kick his ass if it jumped on him. It really could.

1:13:11 Drew What did you talk to him about tonight?

1:13:13 Adam He was asleep.

1:13:14 Drew Oh, you didn't talk to him at all?

1:13:16 Adam He was down. My dad goes to bed at 9.15, he gets up at 5 in the morning, takes a walk. Actually, he jogs, but people that are walking pass him. It's really humiliating. The funniest thing in the world is my uncle Vince would go on walks and my dad would go on jogs and once in a while they'd go together and my dad couldn't keep up with my walking uncle Vince when he was jogging. The thing that scared me is, remember I was talking smack about my stepmom last week?

1:13:53 Drew Oh yeah.

1:13:54 Adam I called the house, she picked up the phone. Oh, Christ. This could get uncomfortable. Thank God no one listens to the show.

1:14:02 Drew And?

1:14:02 Adam No, just said dad was sleeping. Yeah, dodge a bullet. All right, we're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Anthony who's six being pressured into sex by a girl at school. Oh, the humanity after this.

1:14:19 Caller Hello, this is Loveline.

1:14:21 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:14:49 Adam Yeah! Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Very passionate. Drew is a very, very passionate man, ladies. Don't let the glasses and the Oxford shirt fool you.

1:15:07 Drew Just because I've been coming on to you.

1:15:09 Adam He is all man behind that stethoscope.

1:15:11 Drew I'm a rapist.

1:15:14 Caller Oh, my God.

1:15:15 Adam Anderson, don't you ever leave those mics on during the commercial. How dare you. All right. Let's hop back on the phones and speak to Anthony who's 15. Anthony?

1:15:26 Caller Yeah.

1:15:26 Adam Yeah. You're being pressured into sex by girls.

1:15:30 Caller Well, it's...

1:15:32 Adam Yeah, it's rough.

1:15:33 Drew How old is she?

1:15:34 She is 15. And...

1:15:37 Adam Yeah. I remember when I was 15 and... Oh, wait a minute. I was just whacking off and crying. That's right. So, go ahead.

1:15:44 Yeah. She's 15 and, well, we've been... She's been trying to get me, like, into bed for, like, two weeks or so. And my friends are telling me that I should do it, you know, but there's this other girl that, you know, I really like.

1:15:56 Drew Yeah. Stay with that, Anthony. You could screw that up.

1:15:59 Adam All right. Anthony was, by the way... One of those calls we get every once in a while, like the call, my penis is so big, I'm having trouble riding a bicycle, calls. Right. It's bragging. More of a...

1:16:14 Drew Declaration.

1:16:14 Adam More of a declaration than it is a question. Then we just told them, stick with the one you like. Charlie?

1:16:20 Hey, how's it going?

1:16:21 Adam Good, you're 15, what's up?

1:16:23 Caller I'd just like to start off by saying you're the guru of wisdom, Adam. You're a great guy, you help us out a lot. What?

1:16:28 Adam I think you said guru, but it sounded like guru.

1:16:31 Caller Yeah.

1:16:32 Adam Where are you from? Chicago, Wisconsin?

1:16:34 Caller Michigan.

1:16:35 Adam Michigan. Better. All right. What's up there, Charlie? Thank you.

1:16:38 Caller I've had a friend since childhood and she started smoking pot around seventh or eighth grade. Wow. I started around ninth and we're going to be seniors this year, or not seniors, juniors. Well, she's always coming over and now it's like she's just coming over to smoke pot.

1:17:01 Drew Well, she's a marijuana addict, that's what's most important to her.

1:17:04 Caller Yeah, but she's been a long-time friend and it's hard to just like...

1:17:08 Drew Yeah, well, now she's an addict and she's preoccupied with pot. That's what she's thinking about all day.

1:17:15 Caller Yeah, well, I just want to know, like, well, she's never coming over to like just be hanging out anymore.

1:17:24 Drew Charlie, she's not doing anything except thinking about smoking pot. That's what she does all day. That's what she's thinking about all the time.

1:17:29 Adam Maybe she's not your friend anymore, Charlie.

1:17:31 Caller Yeah, that's probably true.

1:17:32 Drew Well, it's not that she's not her friend, she's an addict now. That's addicts orient their whole life towards the procurement and use of a drug. That's it. That's what they're thinking about all the time.

1:17:41 Adam Do you like her?

1:17:42 Caller No, she's just like a friend.

1:17:44 Adam All right. Well, then who cares?

1:17:47 Drew If you've managed to keep smoking pot without getting addicted and she's an addict, maybe you can get us some help. Send her over to MA.

1:17:52 Adam Well, here's one. Nick.

1:17:54 Guest Hello.

1:17:55 Adam Fourteen.

1:17:56 Guest Yeah. First off, I just want to thank you guys for being here for people.

1:17:59 Adam Thanks.

1:18:01 Guest My problem is about a year ago, my girlfriend was attacked and killed, and I walked away from the counseling that was offered to me after that.

1:18:13 Drew Why?

1:18:15 Guest I just didn't feel comfortable discussing it with people.

1:18:18 Drew Too painful?

1:18:20 Guest Yeah.

1:18:20 Adam What happened to her?

1:18:24 Guest She lived in Florida and I live in California now. She was just attacked and killed while I was out doing some other stuff.

1:18:36 Drew In her house?

1:18:38 Guest No, she was just kind of out and she was grabbed and found dead, and investigation, and I found the guy that did it.

1:18:46 Drew They got him?

1:18:47 Guest Yeah.

1:18:48 Adam What was his motive?

1:18:51 Guest He was just f'ed up, I guess.

1:18:53 Adam Oh boy. Now you were living in California at the time?

1:18:57 Guest Yeah.

1:18:58 Adam And she was living in Florida. You used to live in Florida?

1:19:01 Guest No, I was just there because we met at a camp, and then we stayed in touch and then it went from there.

1:19:10 Adam It was a long distance relationship.

1:19:12 Drew I know this is really tough for you to talk about, but it's also you're speaking in really vague terms.

1:19:19 Adam Well, what's different about this and any other call we've had?

1:19:22 Drew Because Nick's smart.

1:19:23 Adam He is?

1:19:23 Drew You can tell. But the vagueness is because it's so painful to talk about.

1:19:27 Adam No, he's not any vaguer than any caller.

1:19:29 Drew That's the point. He's smarter.

1:19:31 Adam Oh, I see. Okay, so he should be less vaguer.

1:19:33 Caller I can be clearer.

1:19:34 Adam All right, so Nick, you guys met at a camp.

1:19:36 Guest Right.

1:19:36 Adam Well, what kind of camp where she was coming from Florida?

1:19:40 Guest It was actually a space camp.

1:19:42 Drew See what I'm saying?

1:19:43 Adam Son of a bitch. I saw that movie.

1:19:46 Guest Yeah, it was out in Alabama.

1:19:49 Adam Space camp?

1:19:50 Guest Yeah, we exchanged e-mail addresses and we stayed in touch, and then she took a vacation down here and we hung out, and she was here for a couple of weeks or something like that.

1:20:02 Adam Hey, Nick.

1:20:03 Guest Yeah.

1:20:04 Adam What do you do in space camp? I know there's a tragedy and everything, but we'll get to it, but I'm really interested in space camp.

1:20:11 Guest Well, they have like the old space shuttle simulators from I guess like the 80s or whatever.

1:20:19 Adam Jesus Christ. You get to fly around in those?

1:20:22 Guest Yeah. You choose different positions to be, like they have a whole mission control set up.

1:20:26 Adam I'd be Cook. Do they have a Cook on that thing?

1:20:29 Guest They have actually pretty good food there.

1:20:31 Adam No, I mean on the shuttle.

1:20:33 Caller No.

1:20:33 Adam So like when you were flying it, I'd come in with an apron on. Food's almost up, boys. All right, so you're flying around. How long were you in space camp?

1:20:43 Caller Two weeks.

1:20:44 Adam How much did that set your parents back? It must be like 85 grand, right?

1:20:50 Drew All right, wait, let's stay with the girlfriend.

1:20:51 Adam I'm really curious about space camp.

1:20:52 Drew You can talk to me at the commercial break, okay?

1:20:54 Adam All right.

1:20:55 Drew All right, next segment. I just want to get at the girlfriend thing.

1:20:57 Guest Okay.

1:20:58 Drew So you probably still have a lot of heavy feelings left over, right?

1:21:01 Guest Yeah, and my parents aren't really around to talk with.

1:21:04 Drew Why?

1:21:05 Adam They're at adult space camp?

1:21:06 Guest No.

1:21:07 Drew They work at Caltech.

1:21:08 Guest No, my parents just had some trouble and they're both dead. So I'm living with my aunt and my uncle.

1:21:14 Drew What happened to your parents?

1:21:16 Guest My mom threw herself in front of a train.

1:21:18 Caller Oh my God.

1:21:19 Guest My dad just kind of died.

1:21:22 Caller Of what?

1:21:25 Guest Shot himself in the head.

1:21:27 Adam Hold on a second.

1:21:31 Drew This is real, I think.

1:21:33 Adam I know. But really, we could have just talked about space camp for another 30 seconds and called it a night. Now, mom is throwing herself in front of the train, dad shot himself in the head.

1:21:46 Drew We got to talk to Nick.

1:21:48 Adam Really? Do you believe it? I believe it.

1:21:50 Drew I believe it.

1:21:51 Adam I know what it is. It's getting him.

1:21:53 Drew It's too much. Yeah, it's too much.

1:21:56 Adam You sure you don't want to talk a little more about space camp? Aren't you interested in space camp at all?

1:22:00 Drew I am. And I'd like to talk to Nick some more. But let me just close a little bit of the stuff here. Nick?

1:22:06 Guest Yeah?

1:22:06 Drew Yeah.

1:22:07 Guest Hello?

1:22:07 Drew So you're with your grandparents now, right?

1:22:09 Guest I'm with my aunt and my uncle, actually.

1:22:11 Drew You and your uncle. And you are getting therapy now?

1:22:14 Guest No. It was offered after all this stuff. And I declined it.

1:22:19 Drew It's time.

1:22:20 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:22:21 Drew It is time.

1:22:22 Adam Nick? Yeah? I was in therapy today. Next time I go, I'm going to talk about this call for 50 minutes. So if you could send out 90 bucks to the station.

1:22:32 Drew The point is that just hearing your problem sends Adam to therapy. His dad missed three football games. He has to talk for seven years.

1:22:39 Adam Well, he missed a few more than that. We'll get to that, son of a bitch, later.

1:22:43 Drew But the point is that this is something that can haunt you for a long time. And you have an opportunity to deal with it, to sort of integrate it and deal with it in a more healthy way. Why not take it away?

1:22:52 Adam You gotta do that, Nick.

1:22:53 Drew But let me tell you something. This is not to be promoting something, but I really do believe that the web is a great way to connect and get support for this kind of thing.

1:23:02 Adam But not drdrew.com.

1:23:04 Drew Go to the Depression Message Boards or the Depression Shack. Where?

1:23:08 Adam drlaura.com?

1:23:09 Drew Well, if there are other chats you connect with, Nick, that's something you could do. But I know we have a tight community where people can support people who have been through tragedies and a chance to talk about it. To connect with peers and develop some connected relationships where you can begin really kind of regularly talking about this.

1:23:24 Adam What kind of family figure Nick was from? Like, affluent and like disturbed, like the DuPonts or something?

1:23:31 Drew Let's talk to him.

1:23:32 Adam All right.

1:23:32 Drew What's your screen name, Nick?

1:23:34 Guest My screen name? Yeah. It's LTJGjolw.

1:23:40 Drew All right. I'm going to look for you in the Depression Chat, okay?

1:23:42 Adam No, everyone's going to check him out, you idiot.

1:23:45 Drew It's fine. I want people to talk to him. I don't want somebody to be impostering him.

1:23:48 Guest Okay.

1:23:50 Adam Okay.

1:23:50 Drew I'm going to go to the Depression Chat.

1:23:51 Adam All right. Nick, what did your family do for a living?

1:23:55 Guest My dad was just an insurance, like he ran an insurance company.

1:24:02 Adam Both your parents killed themselves?

1:24:04 Guest Well, my mom, her family was really messed up, and she was sort of on the verge a lot, I guess, and just kind of decided to go over it, and my dad, that threw him off, and he just couldn't handle it.

1:24:21 Adam All right. Nick, take care of yourself, all right? Get some counseling.

1:24:24 Drew I'll look for you in the chats.

1:24:25 Guest Okay. Thanks.

1:24:26 Adam All right. Space camp.

1:24:32 Drew Why don't you have somebody else? Nick had a few other things to think about. Why don't we have somebody else who's been to space camp, call and talk to you?

1:24:41 Adam Listen, Drew, I was just...

1:24:42 Drew We haven't lost any major figures in their lives.

1:24:44 Adam I was just trying to divert some of the attention. That's my way.

1:24:48 Drew I know.

1:24:48 Adam That's the way I show love.

1:24:50 Drew I know. You bring humor into it.

1:24:52 Adam That's right. All right. We gotta take a break. When we come back, Levi, he's 35. When wife gives him oral sex, she always stops before he orgasms. Let's know how to get her to finish. I picture like an old black blues singer. Levi, Levi, what's happening?

1:25:12 Caller Not much. Just trying to figure out the age-old question, how you get someone not to stop before you orgasm.

1:25:19 Adam I got that. Hold on a second. We'll take a little break.

1:25:22 Drew Age-old questions.

1:25:23 Adam And we'll be back after this.

1:25:26 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:26:03 Adam Yeah, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Drew. All right, let's get back to Levi, who's 35 years old. His girlfriend, pardon me, his wife gives him oral sex, but she stops before he finishes, right? Levi? Right. Right. Does she stop right as you're finishing?

1:26:25 Caller I mean, right before a climax, she kind of pulls off.

1:26:29 Adam How does she know right before?

1:26:31 Caller Actually, I don't know.

1:26:34 Adam You know what you got to do?

1:26:35 Caller You know.

1:26:35 Adam Let me tell you something. You got to start doing what I do. What's that? As I fool my bitches, Drew. See, most of you guys, you lie there, and I used to do this too, before I've developed this technique. I would lie there and it'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. That's good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's good, baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no. Don't stop. Yeah, baby. Come on now. Come on. Daddy's coming. Daddy's coming. Daddy's coming home. Then they'd move because the bomb is going to go off in my sack. So you know what I do now? Yeah. It's hard to do. You got to really use your focus. Here's what I do now. While I'm getting the oral sex, I go, oh, FYI, a funny story. I was driving in to work today and this son of a bitch, he's driving one of these, I think it's like a Miata or something. He pulls in front of me on the tip. You see? You don't let her know it's coming. You see what I'm saying, Drew?

1:27:39 Drew That makes perfect sense.

1:27:40 Adam Yeah, you just pick up some sort of mundane story.

1:27:43 Caller Mundane.

1:27:48 Adam Some story about getting a layover in Cincinnati when you were in the airport or something.

1:27:53 Drew Yeah, something else about.

1:27:54 Adam Pow! Right in the middle, right mid-sentence. You see what I'm saying, Levi?

1:27:59 Caller Yeah.

1:28:01 Adam Levi?

1:28:03 Caller Don't telegraph your climax.

1:28:05 Adam Oh, no. Hey, Drew, put that screen down. Put you in something else. No, Levi, here's what you need to do with your wife. You need to say to her, listen, you don't need to swallow it. Just let me finish. It'll get in your mouth, and you just spit it right into this trash can, honey. And every time you do that, you get a new tennis bracelet.

1:28:27 Caller I hear you.

1:28:28 Adam No. You have to tell her she doesn't have to swallow it. Just finish and then spit it right into a trash can. Right.

1:28:35 Caller Well, she has, you know, done it before, you know, but she's got to be like in the mood, you know.

1:28:40 Drew Does she understand this bothers you?

1:28:42 Caller Yeah.

1:28:43 Adam Yeah. Just tell her, and look, say to her, and by the way, hey ladies, hold on ladies. Danielle, listen to this. What if, Anderson, leave her alone, please. What if a guy is going down on you, going down, he's going to town, a lot of you women can only orgasm this way. And right at that moment when you're about to orgasm, he just pulled his head out of there and just stood there and looked at you cross-eyed. Now imagine how pleasurable that would be for you. Well it's basically the same thing. Why is that so? This would be unthinkable if a guy did this to a girl. You know what I mean? Right. And rightfully so. But women do this all the time and it's no big problem. Now I know there's a physical representation of the man's love that ends up in the hooker's mouth. But she could easily just spit that right into a garbage can. She don't have to swallow none of that. All right. Danielle, how would you like if I was doing that to you? And at the last second just pulled out and just look at you. Told you a high school football story. You put your foot down, wouldn't you? Absolutely. You grabbed me by the tuft of the hair behind my neck and ran my forehead right back into your private parts, wouldn't you? Absolutely. That's right. Oh, Danielle is so cute. She's little and it would make my penis look big. That's my fantasy. I fantasize me pulling my penis out and Danielle holding her wrist out next to it and being like, this is wide. See, it's as big as your arm. I'm not that little, Adam. Oh, you're not? Okay. Quinn?

1:30:17 Caller Yeah.

1:30:18 Adam You're 14?

1:30:19 Caller Yeah.

1:30:19 Adam You've been to space camp many times?

1:30:21 Caller Yeah.

1:30:22 Adam Oh, you bastard.

1:30:24 Caller Well, it's probably not as good as the one that other guy went to.

1:30:28 Adam Where'd you go? Where's your space camp?

1:30:30 Caller It's right here in Oregon, actually.

1:30:32 Adam They have space camp in Oregon?

1:30:33 Caller Yeah.

1:30:34 Adam Jesus Christ. These space camps are all over the place.

1:30:37 Caller I know. They're everywhere.

1:30:38 Adam And what do you do in space camp?

1:30:39 Caller Well, they have like some simulators and they take you up in airplanes.

1:30:44 Adam Do they take you up in that one that does the arc so you experience the weightlessness for 45 seconds?

1:30:51 Caller It's not 25 seconds. They just take you up in like littler airplanes and you feel the weightlessness for a few seconds every time they do it.

1:31:01 Adam So they do that big arcing motion?

1:31:03 Caller Yeah, right. Exactly.

1:31:04 Adam Wow.

1:31:05 Caller And they make the plane kind of like fall to the ground.

1:31:08 Adam Nice. And you guys all drink Tang and eat those space bars?

1:31:12 Caller No.

1:31:13 Adam No? I think that would be a very integral part of the experience over there. Did you fly the space shuttle simulator?

1:31:21 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:31:22 Adam Wow. How much do you think that cost your poor parents?

1:31:25 Caller A lot of money.

1:31:26 Adam Yeah. Is it two weeks?

1:31:29 Caller Well, yeah, I think so.

1:31:30 Drew Do you actually stay there?

1:31:32 Caller No, you don't. This was just like a day camp. But I think if you're going from Florida out to wherever they had that thing, it's probably a big event.

1:31:41 Adam Right.

1:31:41 Drew Cape Canaveral.

1:31:42 Adam Now in the movie space camp, the kids actually had to go on a mission. That's what I love about movies. It's like the kids are at space camp. Wait a minute. We've got a call from NASA. Apparently, some of the astronauts are down with gout, and we got a mission coming up, and we can't scrub it. The kids from space camp are the most qualified to fly the shuttle. I've never seen the movie, but just to me, I couldn't make that leap. You know what I mean? One minute, it's a bunch of 16-year-olds at space camp, the next minute, they're on a shuttle mission to try to repair some Soviet satellite that's going to crash into the Earth. You know what I'm saying?

1:32:30 Drew What is it that makes somebody write that story, is what I wonder. Do you know what I mean?

1:32:35 Adam I don't know.

1:32:35 Drew Do you got that in you?

1:32:37 Adam No. I don't have that in me. Fantasia was more believable. Had a more truer plot line with the dancing mops. Alex? Yes. You're 15. Anderson, who was in Space Camp going? What is her name? Leah Thompson. Yes. You call yourself a movie buff. You didn't even know Leah Thompson was in Space Camp. I don't know.

1:33:01 Caller I'm a movie film student, not a buff.

1:33:04 Adam All right, Sir Anderson of DVD. Go ahead, Alex.

1:33:10 Caller Hi, I want to know if masturbating can cause cysticular cancer?

1:33:13 Adam No.

1:33:13 Drew No. Where did you come up with that one?

1:33:15 Caller I just heard it.

1:33:16 Caller From whom?

1:33:18 Caller My friends.

1:33:18 Adam Yeah, but your friends are all tards, right?

1:33:21 Drew Medical experts.

1:33:21 Adam All right. So you know not to listen to them, right?

1:33:23 Caller Yeah.

1:33:24 Adam All right. It's funny about people. I know I have a few friends that are this way. Not only are they wrong, but they got a lot of energy behind it. And that's a weird thing for me. Like my partner Jimmy Kimmel pulls this one every once in a while. He's got a lot of energy.

1:33:45 Drew About stuff that he doesn't know anything about?

1:33:46 Adam Right, right. And it's great. It's weird. And I'm always like, where do you get that energy when you don't even know what it is? I remember one time there was a song playing, and I said, this song sounds like Peaches and Herb. No way. And he was like, I said, I think this is Peaches and Herb. And he said, no, it's not. And I said, I know, I don't know if it is or not, but it sure sounds like. I mean, he says, not only is it not Peaches and Herb, it doesn't sound like them, he said. It doesn't sound like them.

1:34:13 Drew And it was then.

1:34:13 Adam It was Peaches and Herb. Now, I don't know how you say Peaches and Herb doesn't sound like Peaches and Herb, and I don't know why you have to add that on, but he has that.

1:34:23 Drew Maybe you bring that out.

1:34:24 Adam He's got that energy. And it's good. And he's right 20%. No, he's right 90% of the time, 75% of the time. But I always just wonder about the 25%. You know, it's like, where do you get energy when you don't know? I was like, if someone asked me a question I don't know the answer to, I'd be like, well, here's what I think. It's this way. But I couldn't have a lot of energy behind it if I didn't know. Although I have my own faults. I'm just not willing to admit them. We want to talk to Lindsay who had oral sex with a female best friend and now feels weird around her. Real quick.

1:34:59 Drew That's a no duh, no duh.

1:35:00 Adam Lindsay?

1:35:01 Caller Yeah.

1:35:01 Adam Were you guys drunk?

1:35:03 Caller Yeah.

1:35:04 Adam Did it happen at space camp?

1:35:06 Caller No.

1:35:07 Adam No.

1:35:07 Caller I did.

1:35:08 Adam Okay. You feel weird around her now?

1:35:11 Caller Yeah.

1:35:11 Adam Okay. Listen to me. We don't have any time. She feels weird around you too. Okay? She does.

1:35:17 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:35:18 Adam I'm sure. It was her.

1:35:20 Drew It's a weird situation.

1:35:21 Adam Her thing in your mouth, right? Yeah. Okay. So just say to her, hey, what happened the other day or whatever night? Let's just forget about it and go on being friends. Okay? Thank you. All right. I'll bet our other friend likes her though. Yeah. All right. We'll be back.

1:35:37 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

1:36:14 Drew My wife called to complain about your spitting suggestion.

1:36:18 Adam What'd I say?

1:36:19 Drew The semen in the mouth spitting it out the side.

1:36:21 Adam Oh, she called during the commercial? What's her problem with that?

1:36:25 Drew She's moving the wastebasket over the side of the bed.

1:36:26 Adam That's right. She had a problem with that? Ooh, that's good advice, though, isn't it?

1:36:32 Drew It's pretty disgusting.

1:36:33 Adam It's disgusting, but so is sex. You know what I mean? Think about what we're doing to you, ladies, and talk about foul. That's a mess down there. You're kidding? You guys, that's the difference between eating a hot dog and a pie eating contest. You're getting crap in your nose.

1:36:59 Drew Stop wearing a helical scope. Come on, we're out here.

1:37:02 Adam Yes. I love schlong. A little cherry pie. All right. All right. I want to thank producer Anne for putting her feminine stink on the show all week long. And of course, Danielle, the petite one. Oh, yes. She's been giving me the eye all week long.

1:37:21 Drew Oh, yes. That's what it is.

1:37:22 Adam Yeah. She's hot. She is. I'm wearing a deck. Doing a great job on the phones and everything else around here. And of course, Anderson, the one who's too good to watch Space Camp. He has to watch all those spalding gray monologues instead of the real entertainment. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. You sure you don't want to talk a little more about Space Camp?

1:37:45 Drew I want to throw up.

1:37:46 Adam Aren't you interested in Space Camp at all?

1:37:47 Drew I am.

1:37:49 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, July 27, 2000