Episode 1000754887150

5:57 It's another Buzz moment of madness.

6:00 Voiceover Ah, s***. Outrageous talk radio. 100.7 The Buzz. KQBC Seattle. Sexually-oriented content, content, content.

6:18 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

6:27 Voiceover Loveline, Coast to Coast.

6:30 Adam Hey, it is Loveline, Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, we have a couple of the actors from the Blair Witch 2 project, which is coming out this Friday. But I will not introduce them just yet because they're not here just yet. So when they do arrive, we'll introduce them and talk to them. Drew, you're feverishly working away at what?

6:59 Drew Nothing.

7:00 Adam That's right. Oh, that's going to be the title of your next book.

7:03 Drew I've got something for you today. I actually want to talk about it off the end.

7:05 Adam Here's the middle line, the title of your next book, Deadline for Nothing.

7:09 Drew Yeah, in a hurry for nothing.

7:10 Adam You've been lying on your desk bed looking at your whole life, through one big sprint through a parking lot, one big traffic jam where you're pounding on the wheel, something where you're feverishly riding away on some word processor before the clock strikes 10 o'clock and all be for nothing.

7:26 Drew In a hurry to go nowhere. But I thought of you today. I was running. There's a riverbed in the past thing called the Arroyo, right?

7:33 Adam Yeah.

7:34 Drew And that's kind of a hangout for homeless people. I came upon a few homeless homes. They sort of hang out in these sort of bushes and trees and things.

7:40 Adam Yeah, make like cardboard shanks and stuff.

7:42 Drew Yeah. And I believe I came upon the-

7:46 Adam Family member?

7:47 Drew No, the genesis, the source from whence comes the coil pot.

7:53 Adam Oh, really? Really?

7:55 Drew Yeah.

7:56 Adam What do you mean the coil? You mean the coil pot?

7:59 Drew I don't think it was made out of clay originally.

8:01 Adam Oh, really? You found a crapple pot? You found a coil pot that was made- Oh, you found some soft swirl.

8:09 Drew No, no, no.

8:11 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

8:12 Drew No.

8:12 Adam Drew, you're jogging in a riverbed.

8:14 Drew Yeah. I actually had to climb down some walls in these walls, sort of areas, these protected areas where people lived.

8:20 Adam Right.

8:20 Drew And clearly, I came upon a place where they-

8:23 Adam And so there's some homeless people and they don't have a bathroom or a sink like I have at home, so they have nowhere to do their business.

8:29 Drew This is what I can-

8:30 Adam Drew is drawing-

8:31 Drew With the border starting to come up over here.

8:34 Adam Really?

8:34 Drew Oh, yes.

8:35 Adam Drew just drew like a crapp-filled Cinnabon.

8:39 Drew That's right. I mean, carefully, I mean-

8:41 Adam I wonder what Mr. Wizard would fall into when he went into the way back machine.

8:46 Drew Tutor Turtle.

8:47 Adam Tutor Turtle, sorry. So you found a crap pinch pot.

8:53 Drew And carefully formed.

8:55 Adam Next time I bring it in, I'll fire it with my kiln. I keep a kiln in my glove box in my car.

9:00 Drew It had been sun-fired.

9:01 Wow.

9:02 Adam Well, that's what the early settlers had to eat out of. Crap pots.

9:06 Drew Yeah.

9:06 Adam And how did you know what it was made out of, Drew? Did you examine it?

9:11 Drew At first, I thought, I thought, that's a strange looking coil pot.

9:14 Adam And then you get upon further inspection, you saw some niblets in there.

9:19 Drew It was very clear to me what it was.

9:20 Adam Recognized that.

9:21 Drew Yeah.

9:22 Adam What you don't know is, is I'd been jogging in the very same ravine not hours earlier. True.

9:27 Drew It's a stranger I thought of you immediately. I thought, first of all, I thought of your propensity for ceramics. And then I thought of all the things you do with stool and have done in your life.

9:35 Adam Thank you.

9:36 Drew I thought, well, this is for you. I got to tell you this story. Remember, you and I were sitting here going, what did I want to tell you? What I want to tell you?

9:41 Caller I'll tell you what.

9:43 Adam I would die a happy man if every time someone saw some stool, they would think of me, whether some dog stool in the park or where they just finished their business and turned around to admire their handiwork. If they saw me a ghostly like figure of me floating in their toilet, like a slick above their stool, I would die a happy man.

10:02 Drew Does everyone have to experience that? Because I do experience that. I want you to know.

10:05 Adam Thank you. One down and 275 million to go. So now, what do we learn? Whenever someone sees either number one or number two, I want them to think of me. Thank you. Beth?

10:19 Hello?

10:19 Adam You're 20. What's up?

10:20 Caller Hey. What's up? How's it going?

10:23 Adam Good.

10:24 Caller Good.

10:26 Adam I'm the patron saint of stool.

10:29 Caller Patron saint of stool?

10:31 Drew Stool effigy.

10:33 Adam Thank you. Yeah. Hey, if it had been shaped like the Virgin Mary, you could have got half of Mexico down there to look at it. What's going on there, Beth?

10:42 Caller Well, actually, before I get into my question, I have something, a question for you, Adam. Have you heard of the show IVTV? Famous show IVTV?

10:50 Adam I don't think so.

10:51 Drew What is it?

10:53 Caller Well, the show in Isla Vista, my friends have seen it.

10:57 Adam Well, I do monitor most of the local college cable stations.

11:02 Drew Yeah, every.

11:03 Adam I'm surprised I haven't come across the Isla Vista public access station.

11:08 Caller I'm surprised too. I've seen you talk about Isla Vista a couple of times on your show.

11:12 Drew He talked about being mobbed in a van in Isla Vista.

11:16 Adam I got mobbed in a van in Isla Vista. Then when I was younger, I'd say about 21, I rode a motorcycle from LA in a rainstorm to Isla Vista. It never stopped raining. Isla Vista is about 15 miles further than Santa Barbara. I wet myself while going 75 on my motorcycle, on the 101 freeway, let's say about Oxnard. Why not? Why not? Absolutely. I was dying, I was drenched, the marrow of my bone was wet. I mean, hold on to say, you ride a motorcycle, first off, you ride a motorcycle 65, 70 miles an hour on the freeway and it's raining hard, it hurts. The rain hurts you. Sure. And so when you're faster, so you're soaked through, well you want to get to your destination, but you're soaked through to the bone and it's at night and the leather jacket you're wearing, the shoes and socks, I mean, 20 miles ago you were soaked through the bone. You got to take a leak, you're freezing your ass off. What are you going to do? Just close to number two.

12:18 Caller Well I hope you didn't lose any game because of it. You might have smelled a little bit like urine, no?

12:22 Adam Yeah, I always smell a little bit like urine, so it didn't...

12:25 Yikes!

12:27 Adam No, I showed up at my friend Carl DeLutri's place over there in Isla Vista. I immediately jumped in his tub and just ran hot water on myself for an hour. I thought I was going to crack. It was horrible. All right, Beth.

12:38 Caller Well, I think you should check your mailbox, perhaps.

12:41 Adam All right, what do you want?

12:41 Drew Your mailbox?

12:43 Caller Yeah.

12:44 Adam What do you want, goofball?

12:46 Caller Take my advice.

12:47 Adam Hey, what do you want?

12:49 Caller My question. I've been going out with my boyfriend now for a few months, and just something that's just mind-boggled me. I don't understand. I'm growing him, right? You know, and I'm enjoying it probably just as much as he is. And every single time, he refuses to come in my mouth. I don't understand it. He doesn't even understand it. We've talked about it, speculated a little bit as to why.

13:13 Drew What was the speculation about?

13:14 Caller And I thought maybe he'd have some insight.

13:16 Drew What was the speculation?

13:17 Adam What did he say?

13:18 Drew Yeah.

13:19 Caller There's a couple of answers.

13:21 Which one was it?

13:22 Adam Oh. Hey, Beth. Hold on. Hold on a second. When you enter the city of Isla Vista, do they hold you down, shove a bong in your mouth, and force you to smoke like that scene where they force Roddy McDowell to watch those horrible noise in Clockwork Orange? Is everyone in Isla Vista baked? Is that Malcolm McDowell?

13:42 Caller I'd have to say everyone in Isla Vista.

13:44 Adam Let me tell you something about Anderson. I said, Roddy McDowell, I see Anderson starting to slide over to the microphone and I yell, Roddy McDowell, Roddy. Sorry about it.

13:52 Drew Malcolm, Malcolm. I mean Malcolm, Malcolm.

13:54 Adam Sorry about it.

13:56 Drew It's filmed, man. The other thing, you're aware there is Santa Barbara Community College.

14:03 Oh, yeah.

14:04 Adam Do you go to Santa Barbara Community College? No, yes, you do.

14:10 Caller No, I don't.

14:11 Adam Where do you go? You don't even go. What do you do?

14:14 Caller I'm an anthropology major. Right.

14:17 Adam Right. You work at a hydroponics farm at the junior college. I don't know why he doesn't like this. What does he say?

14:26 Caller He says that perhaps I will gain power or control over him by swallowing his chi.

14:32 Drew Oh, please. Oh, my God.

14:34 Adam Where does the chi go?

14:36 Caller The chi on his gut.

14:38 Adam I see. I see. All right. So he's just as baked as you are.

14:42 Drew So you guys are not having sex?

14:43 Caller No, no, no, no. I don't smoke pot.

14:45 Drew Really? She has no excuse. You're not having sex with him then, right?

14:50 Caller Oh, no. We have sex.

14:51 Drew Maybe he just prefers that?

14:53 Adam Yeah, but he doesn't want it to go in her mouth. I don't know. Maybe he respects you or something. Maybe he doesn't want to make out with you when he's...

15:01 Drew No.

15:01 Adam Wait, hold on a second. Hey, Beth?

15:03 Caller That was the other thing. He thought maybe it's disrespectful.

15:06 Adam There you go. Does he get going with his hand to sort of milk himself when he's done with you?

15:12 Caller Oh, no. I do the work for him.

15:14 Adam You do the work for him?

15:15 Caller He's like in a coma, you know, after that point.

15:18 Adam He doesn't want to take over?

15:21 Caller Well, he will go, you know, grab my ears or something to pull yank me off of him when it's time for him to come, you know, because he just won't have it.

15:29 Drew Then he wants to have sex immediately?

15:31 Adam No. He's done.

15:32 Drew He's done.

15:34 Caller He's not gay or anything?

15:36 Adam No.

15:37 Drew My God.

15:38 Adam You're fine, Beth. Listen, you're dodging a bullet, babe. I don't know what you're complaining about. You understand? I know. You see it. Listen, men are about the bottom line, whereas women have to read something into everything. You women, it'll kill you. You read something into everything. The guy wants the orgasm in your mouth. We got to sit down and talk about that. The guy doesn't want to do it, even worse. Which is it, ladies? Do you know what I mean? And here's a guys are pragmatic, which is if the girl doesn't want to do something, that we don't really want to do either. Fantastic. That's when you got life by the nuts. Emily, you're 15. What's up?

16:24 Guest I have two questions. First of all, I've been listening to the show since I was like 10. My first question is kind of for Dr. Drew.

16:35 Right.

16:37 Guest That is that I was wondering, I'm on the pill, and I haven't been having very good orgasms as of lately, and I was wondering if that could be because of the pill.

16:44 Drew Is that the only medication you're taking?

16:46 No.

16:47 Drew What are the medicines you're taking?

16:48 Guest No. Oh, that's the only medication I'm taking.

16:50 Drew And how long have you been on it?

16:51 Guest About a month.

16:52 Drew And what pill is it?

16:53 Guest It's orthotricycline, but I'm getting it changed anyway.

16:56 Drew Good. That's a good, that's the next, the first thing you would do is try a different pill. But tricyclic pills usually don't do this, but they can.

17:03 Adam You see, you see what happens when you listen to the show from age 10 on, you're on your third pill, you know, orgasming as consistently as you were when you were 12 and 13.

17:14 Guest No.

17:15 Adam Well, what's going on? You have a boyfriend?

17:17 Guest Yeah.

17:18 Adam How old is he?

17:19 Guest He's my age.

17:20 Adam Oh, good. Really?

17:21 Guest Yeah, he is.

17:23 Adam Okay.

17:23 Guest The only one I've had that's my age.

17:25 Adam Oh, you have like hippie parents or weird parents? What's up?

17:29 Guest No, they're kind of tree-hugging hippies. They smoke weed, but like...

17:32 Adam They're hippies?

17:33 Guest Yeah.

17:33 Adam Yeah. I got the hippie parent thing because...

17:36 Guest They're too strict to be hippie parents. Yeah.

17:39 Adam Well, but they're... You just said they were hippies.

17:42 Guest Well, they kind of are. I mean, they smoke weed, plenty.

17:45 Adam Right.

17:46 Guest But, yeah.

17:47 Adam Who's... You think your dad likes his pipe better or you?

17:51 Guest Definitely his pipe.

17:52 Adam Yeah.

17:52 Drew That's nice. That's right.

17:54 Adam You'll find daddy somewhere else.

17:56 Guest But, um, I have another question. I'm having it with my family. Um, I think my little brother, he's four. I think he might have been sexually abused. Um, I have a little sister who's, like, a year old, and I really don't want it to happen to her, so I don't know what I should do.

18:11 Adam Did you get sexually abused?

18:12 Guest I don't know.

18:14 Adam Who do you think may have sexually abused your brother?

18:16 Guest I have no idea.

18:18 Drew Why do you think he might have been abused?

18:19 Guest Um, because he, like, sits in his room, like, for half the day and, like, hunts his stuffed animals.

18:25 Adam Well, that's perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

18:28 Drew Is it?

18:28 Guest Really?

18:29 Adam No. He doesn't sit there hampered.

18:31 Guest Yes, he does. I swear to God. We have to, like, pull him off his animals.

18:35 Adam Why don't you just turn the hose on him? Is he four years old?

18:38 Guest Yeah, he is.

18:39 Drew What's your household like? What goes on in your house?

18:41 Adam Close your eyes, Drew. I picture a VW bus up on blocks in the living room.

18:46 Guest No.

18:47 Drew Is it a lot of aggression in the house?

18:49 Guest Um, well, my mom is an alcoholic.

18:53 Adam Oh, baby. Hey, uh, what, just, just for fun, what, what characters is your brother humping? What's his stuffed animal?

19:00 He, a giant monkey.

19:03 Adam See, funny.

19:03 Caller Funny.

19:05 Adam Thomas the Tank Engine, is he in there?

19:07 Caller Um, no.

19:07 Drew James, not Thomas.

19:09 Adam Oh, James the Tank Engine? What happened to Thomas the Tank Engine?

19:12 Drew Well, James is one of his friends.

19:13 Adam Oh, I see. What about, like, Buzz Lightyear or something like that?

19:17 Guest No, he likes Buzz Lightyear, but he doesn't hump him.

19:19 Adam Oh, he has too much respect for him.

19:21 Yes.

19:22 Adam But he gives him a handi.

19:23 Yeah.

19:24 Adam All right, baby. This whole thing's a mess.

19:26 Guest Yeah.

19:27 Adam Well, your parents are still together, though, right?

19:29 Guest Um, well, this isn't my, like, real dad. But he's been with me since I was, like, two, so I kind of...

19:34 Adam Oh, baby.

19:35 Drew Oh, boy. Well, listen, the four-year-old, if he had been sexually abused, would... the younger child would be a potential sort of victim for him.

19:44 Guest I know, and I don't, like, want anything to happen to her because I really like her.

19:48 Drew Why don't you bring it up to your parents? What?

19:50 Adam What parents?

19:51 Yeah, exactly.

19:53 Adam Can your mom... is your mom sober? Your mom can't get sober, right?

19:57 Guest Um, she's trying.

19:59 Adam All right. Why don't you go to Al-Anon?

20:01 Drew Yeah.

20:01 Adam Or Alateen and see what happens.

20:04 Guest I'm in therapy right now, too.

20:06 Adam We'll go to Alateen.

20:07 Drew I'll talk to your therapist about this. She may have a way to...

20:10 Adam Yeah, I... Uh-oh...

20:11 Drew .bring social services in.

20:13 Adam Yeah, right, Emily? Yeah. Talk to your therapist.

20:15 Guest Okay.

20:16 Drew All right, baby.

20:16 Guest Thank you.

20:17 Adam Take care of the show. Bye. Hey, if you're listening to the show when you're 20, I want you to come out here and shoot me, all right?

20:23 Guest Okay.

20:23 Adam Thank you.

20:24 Guest Bye.

20:25 Adam Bye-bye. Oh, boy. A lot of great parenting going on in this country. Rodney?

20:30 Hey.

20:31 Adam Hey.

20:32 How you like doing?

20:33 Adam You're 18.

20:34 Yeah, first I'd just like to say to Adam and Dr. Drew, what's up?

20:39 Adam Let me try. Let me try. What's up? Oh, yeah, let me try. Howdy. How's that go? All right, Rodney, what do you want?

20:49 What up, sucker?

20:51 I'm not Rodney, dude. I'm Bob. You hung up on me like several days ago.

20:55 Adam Oh, we did?

20:56 All right.

20:57 Adam Well, now you're two for two. Didn't you say Rodney on the thing?

21:00 Drew So Rodney, can you check out what that is?

21:03 Adam Jennifer?

21:04 Yeah.

21:05 Adam You're 21.

21:06 Caller Yeah, I am.

21:06 What's up?

21:08 Caller Well, since I was 17 years old, I haven't been having a regular period. Um, and I mean, it became more regular about the time I graduated from high school. However, like last summer, I gained a whole bunch of weight. Then I stopped getting it again. Then I lost all the weight that I had gained.

21:28 Drew How much weight were we talking about?

21:30 Caller 40 pounds. So and now I'm just wondering if this would have anything to do with that.

21:36 Adam Your period? How thin were you when you lost all your weight?

21:41 Caller I'm medium build. I thought 145. I'm 5'7.

21:45 Drew So you went up to 180 and now you're 140?

21:47 Caller Yep.

21:48 Drew Basically. The weight loss could cause your periods to change. How often have you had your periods?

21:55 Caller Well, I had it twice this year.

21:58 Drew Yeah, see that's something else. That's something else. Are you on any medication?

22:02 Caller I was on some medication to help me lose the weight. I was taking Adipax for about a month or two.

22:06 Drew That's not good.

22:08 Adam Why? What is that? Speed?

22:09 Drew Speed, yeah.

22:10 Adam No, no, I'm in the Downers, right?

22:12 Drew Right.

22:13 Adam That's speed?

22:13 Drew Right.

22:14 Adam That's not my thing.

22:14 Drew No.

22:15 Adam I'm in the Benny's. I thought it was Downers.

22:18 Drew Yeah, but it's the crosstops you're not into.

22:20 Adam Yeah, I'm not in the crosstops. I'm in the Benny's. All right. So what should she do? Tell her what to do.

22:25 Drew Black beauties.

22:26 Adam Yeah. No, wait, that's speed, the black beauties.

22:28 Drew Oh, that's right. That's right.

22:29 Adam I'm in the Benny's.

22:31 Drew Jennifer, have you had an evaluation to see what this is all about?

22:34 Caller Yeah, and they did a whole bunch of tests on me. They found out it wasn't my thyroid. They found out it wasn't like ovarian cancer, ovarian cyst. They found out it wasn't anything like that. They said that if I wanted to go through an invasive procedure, that they could test me for endometriosis.

22:50 Drew Right, right.

22:51 Caller But like I said, I haven't had it really normally since I was 17 years old.

22:56 Drew It may just be you.

22:56 Caller At most, I've had it maybe eight times a year.

22:59 Drew Okay, so there's something called hypothalamic pituitary axis dysfunction, which means that your cycling mechanisms just aren't regular, that's all. And all kinds of things can set them off even further. Anxiety, diet changes, activity changes, so medication certainly. So it may just be part of what's gone on with you this year. And God knows what it was that caused the weight to go up so fast and then crashing down.

23:19 Adam Hey, speaking of crashing down, when I was on the plane today, coming back, I was in Vegas for a day this weekend. I ran into a doctor friend of yours from SC. A guy, he looked sort of mulatto. I didn't even think it was black. Older. So I guess he went to school with you, but he seemed a couple of years older. Hand specialist. Oh, man. He gave me his card.

23:46 Drew Good guy.

23:47 Adam Well, it's at home. He said to say hi.

23:50 Drew Oh, thanks.

23:51 Adam You know, I told him, hey, take a look at my hand. My hand's been hurting me a little bit. And listen, anybody, and I thought to myself, if I was to impersonate, here's how you impersonate a doctor. You go ahead and flick pain on strangers.

24:05 Drew Right away.

24:06 Adam You know, like I held my hand open, and really what's going on with my hand is I had this surgery a year ago, and it's got a dead spot in the middle of it where the surgery was. It's numb. I can feel it. It feels like it's asleep, right in the little spot, right in the middle, which doesn't hurt, but it's eerie feeling, doesn't feel right.

24:24 Drew Right.

24:26 Adam And also there is some pain. There's a little bit of pain in my fingers and that kind of stuff. I've had years of inflicting trauma upon my hand. So he thumped my hand. I held my hand, held his finger up like he was going to tune a piano or something or doink.

24:42 Drew Right here, I'll show you where.

24:43 Adam No, no.

24:43 Drew Right here.

24:44 Adam No, don't show me where.

24:45 Drew Right here.

24:45 Adam Well, he doinked me a couple of places. I was like, okay, hey, Pops, you hit these, Slappy, this bag of mixed nuts. So anyway, he said to say, yeah, bring us a card. And the other thing that was funny is I was just, I was just goofing around, but I was on the plane and I called the stewardess over and I said, you know, I, I, I was in first class.

25:07 Drew On Southwest?

25:08 Adam No, on America West, which is always an hour late, at least. And I said, I said, hey, I got these, they give you this like Fiesta variety mix, which is, which is basically airline for, we can't afford nuts.

25:22 Drew No, no, we're, we're too much pussies to put nuts out. Well, no, so you don't be allergic.

25:27 Adam No, no, but they could have given you the best part, which was the almonds, the smoked almonds. So they have like that and the cheddar chips and the rice, whatever, and the popcorn and all this junk's in a big mix. You got to, you got to sift out and pull the, pull the almonds out of there. So I said to the store, I called the store store, I said, pardon me, I'm used to eating nuts on the airline. Could you get somebody to pick all the nuts out of this and bring it back to me, please? And she said, well, like who? And I said, well, what's the navigator do when we're on the ground? I mean, obviously, he's not working when we're on the ground and certainly can find his way back to LA. I mean, it's just Vegas for crying out loud. So she said, well, what if the first officer did it? And I said, whoever, I would just, I'm hungry. I don't want to pick the nuts out of the mix myself. So the captain of the plane comes on by and he walks by and he said, yes, sir, problem. And I said, yes, we just kind of goofing around. I said, yes, there's, there's no, I just kept going as far as I could go. It appears to be that there's some almonds mixed in with the rest of this mix. I'm not accustomed to picking them out myself. And I don't ask that you do it, but that somebody take care of this for me. And he said, well, I'll be more than glad to do it. And he opened the thing up. He spread the thing out. The plane wasn't in the air. We were just sitting on the ground. He was, he was like, and he was playing along. I'm sorry, sir. And he picked them out. There was three of them in there. And here you go. And he gave me a napkin. And I said, oh, okay, this is not going to hold me very long. So could you keep a few going? Not during takeoff, obviously. Let's get off the ground. But then when you put it on autopilot, see if you can give him a few packs up there and let him sit through and sort them out and bring them back to me later. Well, he didn't go that far with it. No, no. But he did actually do the sorting at the beginning. So I have to give him credit for that.

27:10 I know you want these nuts, John. Oh, hi.

27:14 Adam What's up?

27:17 Guest I went to bed every night and I masturbate. Like a couple of times a week. Every time I masturbate, I don't want to wet the bed.

27:25 Yeah.

27:26 Drew Are you sure?

27:26 Adam I may wet the bed every time I don't masturbate.

27:29 Caller I don't know.

27:30 Drew I was going to say, are you sure it's not a wet dream? Or maybe you're not peeing.

27:34 Oh, yeah, I know.

27:35 Drew That's interesting. You don't pee on the night you masturbate.

27:39 Adam I have no idea. I think that's a psychological thing.

27:41 And I also, like, I kind of pee when I come to it. I'm like that every now and then.

27:46 Adam OK, hold on, John. Yeah, I'm told you can't just say pee. Can you say pee?

27:52 Guest OK, I say pee.

27:53 Adam Yeah, OK.

27:55 Drew Have you had the pee nighttime pee thing treated?

27:58 Guest Well, I've had, like, DDAVP. Right.

28:02 Adam What is that?

28:03 Drew That's a medicine to prevent you from producing urine.

28:05 Adam OK, listen to me, everybody.

28:07 Drew There's nard in your nose, the liquid.

28:08 Guest Really?

28:10 Adam Get some of that for car trips, right? Hey, but if you drink it, you'd just be two ounces more, right? Hey, John, listen to me. I know you'll not do this, but please do it. It worked for me. I used to wet the bed. My grandpa, he got me out of this. He used to wake me up in the middle of the night and I'd whizz in a bucket that was right next to the bed. And I never wet the bed when I slept over at his house. And it makes sense. I mean, listen, just everyone, do the math. You wet the bed every night, right? You go to bed at 10, 30, or 11. You don't wet the bed a half hour after you go to bed. You don't wet it probably before midnight. You wet the bed at a certain time, probably about the same time each night. I'm guessing if you go to bed at 11 or midnight, you probably wet the bed at 3, 4 in the morning and your alarm is set for 7, 30 or 8. Okay, so you set your alarm. You don't have to set your alarm. We get one of them little egg timers. That's what I nap with. They're not shaped like an egg. They're one of those little kitchen timers. 10 bucks. You get them at any store like a Savon or Thrifty's or something like that. You just press in a couple hours. Figure out the rhythm of your bladder. If you wet the bed 3 hours after you go to bed, set this little alarm for 3 hours. Tick, tick, tick. 3 hours. Punch it. Go to bed. Then it goes off in 3 hours. All you do is get up, take a leak, and get back in bed. You make it through the night. Why do we have to take drugs? Why do we need therapy? Why do we have to electrify the sheets? Just wake the guy up in the middle of the night. You take a leak. He doesn't wet the bed during the day, does he?

29:45 Drew It's because I'm taking a pee.

29:47 Adam Okay. I gotta go.

29:48 Drew All right. Why?

29:50 Adam Why am I the one who brings this up? I wet the bed fairly consistently, but my grandpa would wake me up at 1.30, 2 in the morning, go to bed at 10 o'clock. He'd tell me to whiz in a bucket, and I'd go back to bed. I never wet the bed.

30:02 Drew He got you out of bed, too. I think you would actually need somebody to make sure. The timer may not be enough for some people.

30:08 Adam Well, you obviously have to train yourself so that when that noise means it's time to get up and take one. But I bet you got one to give. That's why you wet your bed. All right. We'll be back.

30:38 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

30:53 Adam Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Eric Learison and Stephen Barker Turner both here tonight from the Blair Witch Project 2. I'll just leave it at that, because I, is it, what's it called? The Book of...

31:14 Guest The Book of Shadows, is it? Right.

31:16 Adam But I think everyone would just call it Blair Witch 2.

31:20 Guest Don't you think? Yeah, or BW2.

31:22 Adam BW2.

31:23 Guest I'll get on to that, too.

31:24 Adam Right. And that's coming out this Friday. And obviously, it's not shot like the first one. We're just talking about this. It's not done in documentary style. This is, and you can pick it up from here, guys. You explain it without giving too much away, obviously.

31:39 Guest It's really, really different than the first one. Shot like a film, not like a documentary, but it's made by a documentarian. And we all play fans of the first movie. The core fan group that made the first movie with the success that it was.

31:54 Adam Now do we, so, but we recognize the first movie is being real.

32:01 Guest No.

32:01 Adam No.

32:02 Drew It's a movie.

32:02 Guest It's a movie.

32:03 Adam It's a movie.

32:04 Guest It's a movie and depending on the character, the movie has different meanings. It either confirms a legend or witchcraft for any particular character or like in the case of my character, it's just a bunch of bullpucky.

32:21 Adam Oh, skeptic.

32:22 Guest Yeah.

32:22 Adam So we know you get it. You get it good and you get it hard. Oh yeah. And gory.

32:27 Guest Totally.

32:27 Adam It's not lethal injection that does you in. It's something rusty.

32:32 Drew It doesn't vaporize.

32:33 Adam No. No. No, it's always great. Yeah.

32:37 Guest No comment on the vaporization.

32:39 Adam They have to fall hundreds of stories and then land on something sharp. Not enough that you just land on something hard. It's got to be sharp.

32:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

32:48 Adam You'll pay for that skepticism, my friend. Yeah. That's why I like to announce in the world, I believe in witches, sorcery, the devil and all that good stuff.

32:57 Drew Just not God.

32:58 Adam Just not God. I believe in the bad guys. Bogeymen, trolls, the whole nine yard, Drew's wife, everybody.

33:09 Guest You'd rather spend time in hell against struck by lightning.

33:12 Adam Right.

33:13 Guest Right.

33:13 Adam Although lightning is a kind of a merciful, quick way to go.

33:17 Guest Yeah.

33:17 Adam And the good news is, is it's fun. If you do live, you have a superhuman powers. I mean, only.

33:24 Drew They grow to be eight stories tall.

33:26 Adam You know, it's funny in movies and cartoons, someone gets hit by lightning. And then when they come to, they find out they can read people's minds or something like that. Or some nuclear waste gets spilled on them and they have superhuman strength. Real life, one side becomes paralyzed and their speech becomes slurred and they have a burn mark from the cross they're wearing around their neck. And they become incontinent. There you go. Other than that, it's exactly the same. That's a good superhero character, Drew. You're bitten by a lizard or you're struck by lightning or exposed to nuclear radiation and you become incontinent man. You just sit around and crap on yourself every day. Yeah. Okay. Horrifying. Alright, let's get back to the Blair Witch. So, Erica, what is your character?

34:13 Guest My character is a witch. Basically, a Wiccan, which is a white witch. I worship nature and people's bodies and sensuality and religion are sort of united for me.

34:27 Drew Alright.

34:27 Adam So, yeah.

34:30 Drew So I just know Adam feels about Wiccans and his perception of Wiccans.

34:33 Adam You are not fat. You cannot be a Wiccan unless you're fat. They're all fat. That's not true. Wiccan is a white witch and a Mo Wiccan is a black witch. I don't know if you know how that went. But no, they're all fat. Why don't you like Wiccans? They're all big, they're big, heavy set women who can't date and they got abused when they're younger and they spin off in their own sort of bizarre fantasy. Because listen, skinny chicks don't have to cook up love potions. If you really think about it, they got to wear garlic around their necks and hit on by a bunch of guidos driving an I-Rex. They don't need enticement. Now it's always husky chicks. Always. I've checked it out. I've done some research. Are you Wiccan?

35:14 Guest Maybe voluptuous.

35:15 Adam Let's not say. No, no, no, no, no. No, big bowling balls, big round women. Did you hang out with those women? I did.

35:22 Guest I met a couple of real live Wiccans and I have to say they were quite voluptuous. But not bad.

35:30 Guest Yeah.

35:31 Yeah.

35:32 Adam Well, first off, they're always eating. They're stirring that huge kettle. There's a big goulash in there and they're always wearing those. I mean, who else do they wear those black mumus? I mean, come on. Yes. You hung out with Wiccan women.

35:44 Guest They're huge, right?

35:46 Adam You were the skinniest one there, right?

35:47 Guest Well, they didn't like me. The Wiccans I met at first.

35:49 Adam Skinny bitch they called you.

35:51 Guest Yeah, they didn't know how I was going to represent them because, you know, they were worried about that I was going to Hollywoodize Wiccans a little bit.

35:57 Adam And you were Bogart in that six foot sub they brought for the Wiccan meeting.

36:01 Guest No, Erica looks great in a mumu though. I have to admit.

36:05 Guest They're all big though, right? I didn't meet any small ones.

36:09 Guest There you go.

36:10 Adam Oh, another one of Adam's bizarre stereotypes magically comes true, everybody.

36:16 Guest I'm sure there are small Wiccans.

36:18 Adam No, they're not.

36:19 Guest Petite Wiccans.

36:20 Guest Yeah.

36:20 Adam All right. Betty?

36:23 Caller Hello.

36:23 Adam You're 19?

36:24 Caller Yes.

36:25 Adam What's up?

36:25 Caller Hi.

36:26 Guest Hey.

36:28 Caller Okay.

36:28 Drew Turn your radio down.

36:29 Adam Oh, you goofball. I'm going to put you on hold. Okay. She can't even hear that part. We'll get back to her. She'll turn the radio down. Tanya?

36:38 Guest Yeah.

36:38 Adam You're 31?

36:39 Guest Yes.

36:40 Adam What's up?

36:41 Guest Well, I just want to say hi to Dr. Drew and Adam.

36:45 Drew Hi, Tanya.

36:45 Guest Hello.

36:47 Drew What's going on?

36:48 Adam What's up, screw it.

36:48 Guest Okay. My question is, okay, I have this problem where when I have an overactive bladder, like if I have a coughing attack or if I sneeze.

37:03 Drew You pee? Yeah. Have you had children?

37:07 Guest No.

37:08 Drew You've never been pregnant?

37:10 Guest No.

37:10 Drew Are you on a medication?

37:12 Guest Antidepressants.

37:13 Drew Which one?

37:14 Guest Selexa.

37:15 Adam Whizz-a-lap.

37:16 Guest What's that?

37:17 Adam No, nothing. Selexan, yes.

37:19 Drew Selexa shouldn't do that, but this is called stress urinary incontinence, and it's very common as you get older. You're a little young to be getting this, and it can be a complication of pregnancy.

37:27 Adam Probably makes the person who told the joke feel pretty good about themselves, though, wouldn't you say? Yeah, it would be nice.

37:33 Drew I know you're looking for that all the time.

37:34 Guest Okay, but I have another question.

37:35 Adam If someone cracks a smile around here, I consider it a small victory.

37:39 Drew But Tanya, again, it's stress urinary incontinence. There are medications to help with this. It's not so much an overactive bladder, though sometimes that can be part of this, too.

37:46 Guest I mean, but this is like really... I mean, sometimes if I have a coughing attack, it's really a lot that I...

37:52 Drew I understand.

37:53 Adam All right, but as a woman, I know this may sound a little grotesque, but couldn't you sort of wedge something, you know, a sponge or something up in there?

38:01 Drew People have to wear pads all the time sometimes.

38:03 Adam But as a guy, you're screwed, right?

38:05 Guest I don't wear pads.

38:06 Drew Yeah, it's hard to catch.

38:08 Adam Wait a minute, as a guy...

38:09 Drew You wear a diaper.

38:10 Adam No, but what about a balloon?

38:12 Drew You can wear a...

38:13 Guest How about just like a gutter?

38:15 Drew Well, you can wear a condom, a catheter condom.

38:17 Adam It just goes down your leg?

38:18 Drew A condom catheter.

38:19 Adam Well, where does that end up?

38:21 Drew You strap it to your leg.

38:22 Adam Oh, really?

38:23 Drew Yeah.

38:24 Adam Geez, imagine if you're a detective and you kept your gun on one side and your condom catheter on the other. You got confused somehow and reach for your bag. Yeah. All right. So wait a minute, Drew. What about... Okay. I see. Fine. All right. But she can put a pad up there, right?

38:40 Drew Yeah.

38:40 Adam What kind of pad?

38:41 Drew I don't know. It's a cotex pad.

38:43 Adam Oh, really? Just one of those awards?

38:44 Drew It's not that. It's that she has a condition. It needs to be evaluated. I don't think it's what's called a neurogenic bladder. But look, there are other things that can be associated with this, like problems with the spine, you know, sort of compression, the spinal cord, these kinds of things. So it does need to be evaluated, because she's younger than she should be to have this problem. If she were 70, I would say, hey, you know, this is a medicine we can try, but this is something we're going to have to live with. And there's all kinds of procedures now being done to help manage the problem. All right, so we'll have to go college into the urethra. They have local nerve blocks into the sacral area.

39:15 Guest Does it have anything to do with when I was younger, I was hospitalized for bladder infections?

39:23 Drew Why were you getting bladder infections when you were younger?

39:25 Guest Well, I mean, I don't know.

39:27 Drew Are you diabetic? No.

39:29 Adam Sexual abuse?

39:31 Guest Yes.

39:31 Guest Oh, well.

39:33 Drew Yeah. This could have something to do with that.

39:35 Guest Okay.

39:36 Adam Who did this to you?

39:38 Guest My grandfather.

39:39 Drew Nice. Nice.

39:40 Adam All right. Is he dead?

39:42 Guest No.

39:42 Adam Oh, that's too bad. Do you think he'll die soon? That would be nice. Hey, can you dance on his grave when he dies?

39:50 Drew No.

39:50 Adam Maybe take a leak on it? Those are the final, how do you do it?

40:21 Drew Yeah, did you bring my book in?

40:23 Adam I didn't bring it in to show him. I told him, Drew gave me a book. I told my therapist I was going to read, you know, because I don't read.

40:30 Guest That's a good idea. Yeah, it's a good idea, right? Unable to read?

40:33 Adam Both. No, no, well, I don't read very well, but I don't like it. You know, but I realize it's something important. One should read. That's the way I think. And one should learn to write and things like that, too.

40:46 Drew The therapist agreed. It's a good thing you should learn to write when you're writing a TV show or a movie. You have to start thinking about learning to write. It's nice, Adam.

40:54 Adam Well, had I known, I thought I was going to do construction my whole life. I didn't know what Ivan Reitman was going to come calling. But I got a partner who does all that.

41:03 Drew He must be delighted.

41:04 Adam Yeah. See, we have a deal. He thinks all the ideas and then he writes them down. That's our agreement. It's a great partnership. But I'm not a good reader or writer, so I told my shrink I'd read.

41:18 Guest So what are you going to start out with?

41:19 Adam Well, Drew, well, now listen, before you drop that kind of attitude, I already read The Phantom Tollbooth. So I dare you.

41:27 Guest Wow.

41:27 Adam Okay. Yeah. So I got that under my belt. And I think I read like a autobiography on Rod Carew or something when I was somewhere like in the seventh or eighth grade too, I think. Or maybe it was like Isaiah Robinson or the linebacker for The Rants or something.

41:43 Guest I thought you were going to like start with the little engine that could or something like that.

41:46 Adam I may have started. I may have. I think I had like Yertle the Turtle read to me when I was in the eighth grade. Jennifer?

41:53 Drew Hey, man. So what about the?

41:55 Adam I got to read Drew's biography on. Who is it on?

41:59 Drew Oh, boy.

41:59 Adam Well, I haven't gotten into it yet.

42:01 Drew Evidently not.

42:02 Adam I'm scared I won't be able to put it down.

42:03 Drew Theodore Roosevelt.

42:04 Adam Theodore Roosevelt. I told Drew to bring me a biography because, you know, I figure if I'm going to read, I might as well learn something.

42:09 Guest You wrote a biography on Theodore Roosevelt?

42:10 Drew Yeah, I love biography.

42:11 Adam No, he read it.

42:13 Guest Oh, he read it.

42:13 Adam I thought he wrote it.

42:14 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

42:15 Adam He has a few biographies and I wanted that one.

42:18 Drew Or I wanted, no, I wanted a biography.

42:20 Adam I wanted one of the most pictures. This one has no pictures and 800 pages.

42:23 Guest That's pretty intense.

42:25 Adam Yeah. Jennifer?

42:26 Guest Yes.

42:27 Adam You're 19.

42:28 Guest Yeah.

42:28 Guest What's up?

42:29 Guest I wanted to ask Dr. Drew a question. Okay. I am going through radiation therapy for brain cancer and I haven't had my period yet. And I wanted to know if it's normal for radiation therapy to mess with your hormone.

42:46 Drew Absolutely. So you never had your period?

42:49 Guest No. I've had my period. I just haven't had my period within a month.

42:53 Drew And you started the radiation a month ago?

42:55 Guest Yeah.

42:55 Drew Yes. Absolutely. That can cause that. You need to talk to your doctor about that to make sure they know that's happening. Sometimes they have to supplement. Yeah.

43:02 Adam Why?

43:02 Drew Well, your pituitary is in your brain.

43:04 Adam Well, no.

43:04 Drew There's a lot of fire here.

43:05 Adam Hey, Jennifer?

43:06 Guest Yeah?

43:07 Adam Is it working out? You gonna be all right?

43:09 Guest Yeah. I'm gonna be fine.

43:10 Adam Really?

43:10 Guest Yeah.

43:11 Adam Geez. That's good.

43:13 Drew What kind of tumor is it you have?

43:14 Guest I have a grade two astrocytoma.

43:17 Drew Okay. All right. We're just hanging in there. And you still go to school and all?

43:22 Guest Oh, yeah. For massage therapy.

43:24 Drew Massage therapy. Interesting.

43:26 Guest Yeah.

43:26 Drew You're 19?

43:27 Guest Uh-huh.

43:28 Adam You're going to junior college? You don't need your brain over there. You'd probably graduate without your brain.

43:33 Drew How did your astrocytoma present?

43:35 Guest Oh, I had a seizure about a year ago.

43:38 Drew Okay. And they didn't recognize it until recently? Or they just weren't watching?

43:42 Guest I had brain surgery in April, and that's when they came up with the cancer diagnosis. I see.

43:48 Drew I see.

43:49 All right. All right.

43:50 Drew Great.

43:51 Adam All right.

43:52 Drew Good luck, Jennifer.

43:52 Adam Stay with it, Jennifer.

43:53 Guest Okay. Thanks.

43:54 Adam Take care of yourself.

43:54 Guest All right.

43:55 Adam Oh, boy. All right. You guys want to kill yourselves with me? I'm going to go hang myself in the bathroom. You guys want to go? Wait till the next break? Yeah. All right. We'll do it the next break. We have some of the kids from Blair Witch 2 here tonight. We will get back, take some more calls, talk a little more about the movie and do all that after this.

44:14 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Um, back in a minute.

44:48 Adam Yeah, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla, as Dr. Drew over there for, number 1-800-LOVE-191. Carrot Top and the Insane Clown Posse are coming in this week, but not on the same night. Erica Leerson and Stephen Barker Turner are both here tonight from the Blair Witch Project 2, which is called the Book of...

45:13 Guest Book of Shadows.

45:14 Adam Book of Shadows, yeah, yeah. But you'll know what Blair Witch 2.

45:17 Guest The Book of Shadows, by the way, it says Witches Diary. Oh, yeah.

45:22 Adam And that's probably like a recipe on there for like fudge nut brownies and it's actually a recipe book, isn't it?

45:30 Guest I think you're just generalizing now about wiccans. There are a lot.

45:33 Adam There are a lot.

45:34 Guest There are different kinds of wiccans.

45:35 Adam Well, there certainly are. There's fat and fatter. They run the range from fat to obese in the wiccan family. And listen, listen, all you screwball wiccans, just go eat some dirt. Don't call this show. I don't want to hear from you. And listen, first off, God does not recognize wicca as a religion. He'll throw you in the same pen as he throws in the Santorians and all the other trouble making religions. Believe you me. Just whatever your dad did to you, just get over it and get on with life. Lose a little weight and join the rest of society. That's what I want to say to all wiccans.

46:09 Guest Erica, I think you have to.

46:11 There are a lot of teenage wiccans.

46:13 Adam I know, I know.

46:14 Poor girls.

46:15 Guest Let's talk to them.

46:15 Guest I've met a lot of them who are not at all fat in any way.

46:19 Adam Well, sure, but they're bulking up.

46:23 Guest I think we should hear from some wiccans.

46:25 Drew Let's talk to them so you can prove your point.

46:28 Guest Any wiccans out there should call in.

46:30 Adam How long have I said the wiccans were fat?

46:31 Drew We've talked to a lot of wiccans.

46:34 Guest Do you ask them if they're fat?

46:35 Adam I always do. I always do. And then Erica hung out with a, what do you call it, a brood? A gaggle. A gaggle?

46:43 Drew A flamboyance.

46:44 Adam Of wiccan, of wicca, of wocks. They should really change their name to Waka, cause that's something you can fry food in. All right, you hung out with them and magically they're big gals.

46:59 Guest No, the ones that I hung out with were a little bit on the luscious side, but I have met ones that are not, that are younger, you know, more teenage.

47:07 Adam Right, still like I said, bulking up. Okay, listen, good looking chicks don't have time for that stuff. They're too busy dating, going to the prom and enjoying life. They don't get together and...

47:20 Guest You might be surprised.

47:21 Adam No, no, only in TV. TV and movies are witches are good looking. Real life, no, no. Craig?

47:31 Hey, Adam, Drew.

47:32 Adam You're 19, what's up?

47:34 Caller It's an honor to talk to you guys. I appreciate you taking my call.

47:37 Adam Good to talk to you.

47:40 Caller I have this little problem. My sister, she's 13 and sometimes I find myself attracted to her school friends.

47:48 Adam It's perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

47:52 Drew Why don't I believe him?

47:53 Adam I don't know. Because why would he be talking about it in such a cavalier manner? Craig, we don't really believe you.

48:01 Caller You don't believe me.

48:02 Adam Oh, now we really don't believe you. Guys who lie, it's always the same thing. Outrage. You don't believe me.

48:10 Guest How dare you?

48:14 Adam Well, listen, let's just say Craig is telling the truth or to anybody and here's the deal. Here's why I don't mind talking about anything on this show depending. I don't care if the call is bogus or not because somewhere within the sound of my voice, somebody is listening who's 19 and turned on to his sister's 13 year old friends.

48:32 Guest I was.

48:34 Adam When you were 19?

48:35 Guest Yeah.

48:36 Drew But you weren't contemplating doing anything about it, were you?

48:39 Guest Well, to find contemplation.

48:41 Adam Not unless you call excessive masturbation. Exactly. So you have a younger sister and she has some cute little friends.

48:51 Drew Yeah.

48:51 Guest When I was in high school, towards the end of high school, it fed some fantasies.

48:57 Adam Sure.

48:58 Drew Yeah. But having fantasies, that's normal. But to be thinking about, I want to do this.

49:02 Guest Oh, like jumping on somebody.

49:03 Drew Yeah. To actually get on the land.

49:05 Guest To be planning sort of, you know, to be building a tree house from which you can jump on top of them. That's a problem.

49:12 Adam Well, I'll write that down.

49:14 Drew Don't give Adam any ideas.

49:15 Adam I'll just put P for pounds. Right. Or prance. And here's the deal. Yes. Everyone think about whatever you want. Just don't do it. That goes for everything. Yes. That's ambitious. That's families.

49:27 Guest That's the definition of adulthood.

49:29 Adam That's right. Melissa.

49:32 Yeah.

49:32 Adam You're 20.

49:33 Caller Yes, I am.

49:34 Adam Yes. My motto is figure out what you want to do in life and then nap.

49:43 Drew You missed a step.

49:44 Adam Oh, what did I say? Oh, well, masturbate and then nap. Right, Drew. Right. I forgot.

49:50 Drew Sorry.

49:51 Adam Write that down.

49:51 Drew Keys to life. You almost almost screwed up.

49:54 Adam Oh, man. I imagine if I have kids, how misdirected they're going to be without masturbating before their nap. Got to bring that up. That's right. Melissa.

50:01 Caller Yeah.

50:02 Adam You're 20. What's up?

50:04 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah, I have never had an orgasm and I realize that that's completely normal, but I'm wondering like what I can do to make it happen. Because I've tried many different things with my boyfriend, but it still just doesn't happen.

50:18 Drew How about by yourself?

50:20 Caller Yeah, at once, but it didn't do anything for me.

50:23 Drew Isn't that interesting?

50:24 Adam What do you mean? You had one, but it didn't do anything for you?

50:26 Drew No, she tried to do something. She tried to masturbate one time, and it was so sort of flat, so nothing. She never went back.

50:33 Caller Right.

50:34 Guest How old are you?

50:35 Drew 20.

50:35 Guest 20.

50:36 Adam Do you have any tips, Erica?

50:37 Guest That's... I don't know. I just sort of find out... Maybe think more about what turns you on. Have you ever been turned on in this situation?

50:49 Caller Well, yeah.

50:50 Adam So what is it? What does it for you?

50:54 Caller Well, a lot of different things, but it's just like me and my boyfriend have tried different stuff, but nothing does it. Like there's points where I'll just either get bored or just be like, you know, this is not working and it starts to hurt. So I'm like, stop.

51:07 Guest Maybe like more of a fantasy that might turn you on as opposed to reality.

51:11 Caller Well, we tried that and we've tried everything. It's not a fantasy. It's just like he wants it to happen because he feels bad that, you know, he's like getting his and I'm not getting mine.

51:19 Drew Are you in love with your boyfriend?

51:21 Caller Yes, I am.

51:22 Adam Is he going down on you?

51:24 Caller Yeah.

51:24 Adam He is? That's not doing it either, huh?

51:27 Uh-uh.

51:28 Caller I know it's normal. You know, a lot of people don't have them.

51:30 Adam Yeah. Well, sometimes at 20. Why don't you figure yourself out while you're alone a little bit?

51:36 Caller I just don't want to.

51:38 Adam All right. Well, screw you then. You get an orgasm.

51:42 Drew Who cares?

51:42 Guest Someone should be.

51:43 Adam Listen, she doesn't want to do anything. Forget it.

51:46 Drew This goes right to the core of the difference between male and female biology. I mean, male, you have to roll up a newspaper, get them to start smacking them to get them to stop. And there are females for which it just doesn't make sense. It just doesn't work. And there's no sort of language to help women understand. You're starting to use that language, which is think about a place, think about a feeling, think about some thing, some experiential material that helps turn you, become sexual. And for women, if they can sort of get into that place in their limbic system and their emotional centers of the brain, the sexual piece will function.

52:20 Guest I think they're too worried about what turns the guy on and they need to think more about what turns them on.

52:25 Adam That's right, unless he has a radio show. Now listen, I agree, we gotta take a break. She needs to work things out for herself and then get back with her girlfriend. Boyfriend, sorry, more fantasy. We'll take a little break, we'll be back.

52:42 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.

53:27 Adam Let's go. It's Loveline on the station. You're listening.

53:30 Oh, man.

53:31 Adam That sucked. I was unprepared. I wasn't focusing. You were faked out. Yeah. Sometimes, I don't know what there is. What do you think there is? Three seconds in there? Two and a half? Three?

53:42 Drew Two.

53:42 Adam One, two, two and a half. Maybe two and a half beats in there? What do you think, Anderson?

53:47 Drew Two? But you want to see, you try to take it right to the end to the music.

53:50 Adam I try to do a good radio where I squeeze in a little something in that beat, and I'd say it works out about one every 25, 30 times.

53:58 Drew I want to do it one time.

54:01 Adam You think you could do it?

54:02 Drew Sure.

54:03 Adam All right, here we go, Drew.

54:08 Drew You got to talk during it, too, of course. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Drew. He's Adam.

54:29 Adam No, no.

54:30 Drew You want a break.

54:31 Adam No, too long a beat. Too long a beat, too long a beat. That's why I'm saying it's dumb.

54:36 Guest You want the beat there.

54:37 Adam No, that was a beat and a quarter, beat and an eighth. How dare you? That was way too long. That was very rocky, very rocky, very Bush League, Drew. How long have you been on the radio now? 17, 18 years? Maybe by year 20.

54:51 Drew Yeah.

54:52 Adam Please.

54:52 Drew Yeah, I'll keep practicing.

54:53 Adam I swear, that's longer than two seconds. Now let's devote an entire show to that maybe next week. Erica Leerhsen and Stephen Barker Turner are both here tonight. They are in Blair Witch 2. The movie comes out this Friday. Erica plays a young Wiccan, yes? Yes. Who's in this movie. A young thin Wiccan. That's how you know it's a movie. If you ever get scared, you just close your eyes and you think thin Wiccan. I'm skinny, I'm not fat. And by the way, I like my suggestion of changing Wiccan to Waccan. Or Wicca to Wacca. That's what I want. There you go. Something you can fry. A group of Wocs. Something you can fry something in. Sage?

55:39 Caller Yeah.

55:39 Adam You're 15?

55:40 Caller Hi.

55:41 Adam You claim to be a thin Wiccan?

55:44 Guest Well, I'm 5'5 and I weigh 110 pounds.

55:47 Adam Uh-oh. They're gonna toss you right out of that. They're gonna ask for the broom and the pointy hat back if you want.

55:53 Guest No, it's a stereotype.

55:54 Adam Let the word get out. What? So, are you Wiccan?

55:57 Guest Yeah.

55:58 Adam All right. What happened to you?

55:59 Guest Nothing.

56:00 Adam Come on, seriously.

56:02 Guest So, if I'm Wiccan, there must be something that happened to me.

56:05 Adam Where's daddy?

56:06 Guest My dad is in his house.

56:07 Adam He's what?

56:08 Guest He's in his house.

56:09 Drew In his house.

56:09 Adam In his house. All right. What kind of guy was he when you're growing up?

56:14 Guest Normal guy.

56:15 Drew Why did your parents break up?

56:18 Guest I'm not really sure. My mom never really talked about it.

56:21 Drew How old were you when they broke up?

56:23 Guest Like 11.

56:24 Drew And you never noticed anything going on?

56:26 Guest No.

56:27 Adam Do you love your dad?

56:28 Guest Yeah.

56:28 Drew He didn't smoke pot or drink?

56:30 Guest No.

56:30 Guest He was a warlock.

56:31 Drew Did she eat your mom's alcohol?

56:32 Guest No, no, no. Okay, like male witches will get really pissed off. I'm sorry if I said that.

56:36 Adam That's all right.

56:38 Guest If you call them a warlock, because the word warlock means like truth twister, and you'll just have to call them a male witch, you know?

56:44 Adam It means what, twister?

56:45 Guest Truth. Truth twister.

56:48 Adam I'd rather be called a... Hold on a second. Wouldn't you rather be called a warlock than a male witch?

56:54 Guest Yeah, it's like male nerd.

56:55 Adam Yeah, a picture of a guy in a candy striper outfit. That's horrible. All right, so, say, seriously, what's up with you? You don't have any friends?

57:04 Guest Yeah, I have friends. I'm a very, like, rather shy. I don't believe I'm actually talking on this. I'm really scared. Okay. No, I'm not weird at all.

57:14 Drew You're afraid that what?

57:15 Guest Hmm?

57:15 Drew What are you afraid of?

57:17 Guest No, it's just so weird. I mean, like, I feel so sorry for those people who stay on for, like, hours and they never get through. I got on for, like, about five minutes.

57:24 Adam Yeah, that's good. Well, that's because you're a thin wiccan.

57:29 Guest And I don't really appreciate you, like, making this whole stereotype about, like, an entire religion of people you don't even know.

57:34 Adam Well, it's a ridiculous religion.

57:36 Guest It's not a ridiculous religion. See, now you're getting in the elsewhere.

57:39 Adam All right. Well, yeah, sure it is. But listen, no more ridiculous in Judaism or any, or Christianity or the other nonsense religions that make no sense at all.

57:48 Guest You know, someone went back BC., right?

57:50 Adam What's that?

57:50 Guest The beginning of the time.

57:52 Adam What did?

57:53 Guest It was not, like, ridiculous.

57:54 Adam Well, I know, but all religion goes back. It's where people's brains weren't developed. They saw a volcano erupt, and they had to make it, that stuff of God in it, so they could figure it out. They didn't know about molten centers and magma and all that kind of stuff. It's really like a primitive thing, religion, if you think about it. I mean, it's sort of... Yeah.

58:14 Guest It's like theater.

58:15 Adam It's like theater. Yeah. To me, it's a ridiculous premise, but if it works for you, I'm fine with that. It's just, I'm just saying that Sage needs to put a little weight on. If she wants... Listen, all I'm saying is of certain religions have certain things that go along with that religion, like the hard Christians, they got the haircut and the gown, right? Right. The Jews, they got the beard, right? The rabbis wear the beard, the wiccans, they got the spare tie around their belly. It's almost a costume of the religion. You have to stay with that. Joe?

58:48 Hey.

58:49 Adam You're 25. What's up?

58:51 Caller Hey, every time I get a BJ from my wife, the pre-cum makes her gag and throw up. Heard of anything?

59:02 Adam Oh, man. I wish I could be there for that. That's great.

59:06 Guest That turns me on.

59:07 Adam And then what she do? She keep going?

59:10 Caller She just quits and it kind of ruins it.

59:12 Guest She really throws up. She throws up like totally.

59:14 Caller She runs to the bathroom and just throw it out.

59:17 Adam That's love, by the way.

59:20 Caller You heard anything like maybe her taking a swig, maybe a jolt cola or something like that?

59:23 Drew How about wearing a condom?

59:25 Adam No.

59:26 Caller I can't get off of that, wearing a condom.

59:28 Adam Yeah, but you can't get off of her vomiting on your dork either, can you? I love calling a penis a dork. That sounds funny. Well, Joe, you're not getting off anyway. She's vomiting, right?

59:40 Caller Well, she does it the other way most of the time, but I'm right now lucky to get a BJ once or twice a year, so I was wondering if you heard anything.

59:47 Drew What's the other way?

59:48 Adam She'll use a nostril.

59:50 Drew Oh, okay.

59:52 Adam Is that what you're talking about, Joe?

59:55 Drew I don't know of anything, maybe ejaculating before, you know, a little while before.

1:00:00 Adam There's nothing. You want to know how to stop the leakage or stop the throwage of upage?

1:00:05 Guest Either.

1:00:06 Drew Whichever works.

1:00:07 Caller You can make it taste better somehow or?

1:00:09 Drew No.

1:00:10 Adam Well, we do hear stories.

1:00:12 Guest Lots of cookies.

1:00:15 Adam I hear a jar of Miracle Whip. Or was it Dijonais? I can't remember.

1:00:21 Drew There's the pineapple myth and the pineapple juice under this juice.

1:00:25 Guest Couldn't hurt.

1:00:25 Adam Try it. Why not?

1:00:27 Drew And the pineapple yogurt myths. These are all myths, but you can try them, certainly.

1:00:31 Adam Joe? Yeah, you can try that.

1:00:33 Guest Don't they have, like, flavored things you can use to... I don't... Not that I know about.

1:00:37 Adam You mean like a condom or gel or something like that?

1:00:39 Guest Something like that.

1:00:41 Guest And actually, if you started using a condom, couldn't you eventually get sensitized to?

1:00:48 Adam Yeah.

1:00:49 Guest I mean, if you catch them.

1:00:52 Adam Possibly. Maybe she's not into it either.

1:00:55 Guest Yeah.

1:00:56 Adam Hey Joe, how much leakin do you do?

1:00:59 Caller I'm pretty good leakin there.

1:01:00 Adam Yeah, you're all class, buddy. I don't know. Is there any way? Yeah, it's just bad news. I don't know. You got to get a divorce, Joe. Yeah, I think so. I don't know what to do. I don't leak. Oh, thank God I don't leak. I know I'm not a religious man, but I really, if I was, I would thank my maker about not leaking. Some guys leak and I don't think there's a thing they can do about it. Can they?

1:01:26 Drew That's right.

1:01:27 Adam What about some kind of Kegel exercise or something?

1:01:30 Drew That's an interesting idea. I haven't thought about that, but I don't think it would do much, but you can try.

1:01:36 Adam It's a brilliant idea that won't work.

1:01:37 Drew Then make a try. Again, there's not much that will work, but that's worth a try.

1:01:41 Adam Well, what muscle do you need to strengthen? What is it?

1:01:45 Drew It's not so much a muscle as a system, a tube system.

1:01:50 Guest Actually, I read in a sex book once that to practice that, to exercise that muscle is when you when you urinate.

1:02:01 Drew Right, to interrupt it.

1:02:02 Guest Yeah, right.

1:02:03 Drew You do ten, that we have discussed, is you do ten contractions to each to a count of ten, and then ten rapid contractions and do like five sets of that.

1:02:10 Adam Using a number two pencil or through a muscle?

1:02:12 Drew No, just through concentration, do like five sets a day. And it takes a lot of effort.

1:02:17 Guest Oh, I never knew about this.

1:02:18 Caller Tag exercises?

1:02:20 Guest While thinking about your Wiccan girlfriends.

1:02:24 Adam Well, so, Drew, guys who do leak, are it...

1:02:30 Drew Give me the magazine.

1:02:31 Adam No, no, no.

1:02:31 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:02:32 Adam Okay. All right. This is the plumbing. Here's my question. Guys who leak, is it that they're too excited or is it they're plumbing isn't good?

1:02:41 Drew It's a plumbing thing.

1:02:42 Adam Okay. Drew has opened up the Anatomy Book. He's going to turn to the Penis page, right, Drew? Oh, please, with the Vagina page. You know how that upsets me. Okay.

1:02:54 Drew This is where the leak is just coming through here. This is where everything's all stored up in here.

1:02:59 Adam That is a squid that got pulled up on a tuna boat, Drew. I have no idea what that is. What is that?

1:03:05 Drew Seminal vesicles.

1:03:06 Adam Where are they? Where's the nut sack? Down here? Right down here.

1:03:10 Drew Yeah.

1:03:11 Adam And the semen then what?

1:03:13 Drew The semen gets produced by all this up here.

1:03:14 Adam Oh, really?

1:03:15 Drew It gets stored and waiting for a release in there.

1:03:17 Adam What's this for?

1:03:18 Drew This is the sperm.

1:03:20 Adam I see.

1:03:20 Drew Sperm getting mixed in to all this.

1:03:21 Adam Mixed in, comes in. So what muscle do you have to strengthen?

1:03:24 Drew Again, it's time to muscle so much. You can see the muscles are working here.

1:03:27 Adam All right. So it's loss, the loss cost.

1:03:30 Drew Well, Mike.

1:03:31 Adam Boris, okay, do the Kegel thing.

1:03:33 Guest What are you exercising when you do the Kegel exercise?

1:03:35 Drew You're exercising the floor of the pelvis, which is across here.

1:03:40 Adam Boris, hello. You're 14. What's up?

1:03:42 Caller Yeah, I have this. All right.

1:03:44 Caller First of all, I want to say Drew and Adam, you guys are really cool.

1:03:47 Adam Thanks.

1:03:47 Caller I love your show.

1:03:48 Adam Thank you.

1:03:49 Guest Adam, I agree with you.

1:03:50 Caller I like everything. And I watch Family Guy all the time. Oh, good.

1:03:54 Adam I really enjoy that show. Yeah, I just did another voiceover for that show. I really love that show. Were you deaf? Well, I was. I was. Yes, I am deaf in that in an upcoming episode.

1:04:08 Guest Oh, okay.

1:04:09 Adam So the last death was...

1:04:10 Caller Was that Norm MacDonald?...

1:04:11 Adam was Norm MacDonald.

1:04:12 Caller Right.

1:04:13 Adam And Norm MacDonald was too high in his gambling problem. It was too big, so he couldn't come. At least that's what his publicist told me. He could not come in and do... One reason or another, Norm decided not to be deaf again. So I then took over as the Grim Reaper and did a couple of episodes as the Grim Reaper on the Family Guy. Actually, they gave it to me last time I was there last week to take home and watch. I really enjoyed it. I think you will too. Anyway.

1:04:40 Caller That will be fun.

1:04:41 Adam Yes, it is a funny show.

1:04:42 Caller All right.

1:04:42 Caller To my problem now.

1:04:44 Caller I have this kind of... I don't know if it's like... It's not as much as a rash as it. It's kind of like... It's on the underside of my penis. Right where it's kind of connected to the testicles. It just looks... It's like red. If you run your finger over it, the texture is kind of smooth. It's almost like it's kind of oiled or something. It's all red.

1:05:11 Drew Do you have anything anywhere else like in your scalp or face?

1:05:13 Caller No. I want to have like acne, but it's not like that.

1:05:17 Adam What's oiled?

1:05:17 Guest Do you have seborrheic?

1:05:20 Caller It's like... There's almost like a thin layer of like some kind of liquid or something. It's not like really noticeable, but...

1:05:25 Drew How long has it been there?

1:05:26 Caller What?

1:05:27 Drew How long has this been there?

1:05:28 Caller Well, it goes away. I don't know if it's like... If I masturbate too much or if I cause that or what.

1:05:34 Drew Do you have dandruff? This sounds silly, but you sure?

1:05:38 Caller Yeah.

1:05:38 Drew Nothing like that. Because it sounds like seborrhea a little bit, with sort of oily scales.

1:05:42 Adam Oh, the heartbreak of seborrhea and psoriasis. I remember that from the Selsom Blue commercial in 1974 or something. The heartbreak of psoriasis. I remember that. Yeah.

1:05:54 Guest Actually, I have eczema, bad, on my hands. But when I was a kid, Erica, you're going to know something personal about it. But it started on my penis.

1:06:04 Drew Sure, it can be.

1:06:06 Adam That's what Drew says.

1:06:07 Guest Seven or eight.

1:06:08 Drew But eczema, show us your eczema. Eczema looks a little dry.

1:06:11 Adam From humping stuffed animals, right? Is that where it starts from?

1:06:16 Guest They weren't good.

1:06:16 Adam Humping Winnie the Pooh in Tiger II?

1:06:19 Drew Show her Adam. You got...

1:06:20 Adam Let's see there. Drew, don't touch him. He's like a leper.

1:06:24 Drew See, this is the... That's how dry and scaly that is. But, Sebrea is oilier.

1:06:31 Adam Turn your hand.

1:06:31 Drew It's charming, though.

1:06:32 Adam Get your hand turned a little more. What are you... Is your arm going to break off? There we go.

1:06:36 Drew Here's a good spot right here.

1:06:37 Adam That's disgusting.

1:06:37 Drew That's a good one right there.

1:06:38 Adam Yes, you're right.

1:06:39 Drew And that's not oilier.

1:06:39 Adam You belong behind the camera, young man. Your career is over. You'll never work without blood. You could play the invisible man, but that's it. That's the extent of your ride.

1:06:48 Guest I'm going to do the remake of the Singing Detective.

1:06:53 Adam You can not play the hand from the Adams family. All right, Drew? Yes. So, what were you saying?

1:06:59 Drew Sebrea is a little more of the oily stuff. And or infection. There's recurrent strep and staphs that can cause a little bit of a weepy.

1:07:06 Adam What should he do?

1:07:08 Drew Try some cordate over the counter. And if that didn't clear up, you got to see a dermatologist.

1:07:12 Adam Rub that on your huevos?

1:07:14 Drew Then the connection frenulum there. Yeah. That's where he has the problem.

1:07:17 Adam Yeah. You got to get that cordate over the counter. Because that now has a tenth of one percent of cortisone in it. It's the maximum strength cortisone. Now with one tenth of one percent. Fantastic. Boy, nothing instills confidence like seeing that big one tenth of one percent cortisone on the cortisone cream that you're buying. Drew, why can't we get some over-the-counter stuff that works? Please, will you do something about that?

1:07:44 Guest The only thing that's ever worked for me is prescription stuff. Diaperate, cordate and all that.

1:07:49 Drew No, your hands are tougher to penetrate. Right.

1:07:52 Adam You get the prescription.

1:07:53 Drew Diaperate, light-up.

1:07:54 Adam How much does that stuff cost? You got to get in line and you run out of it.

1:07:57 Guest Well, if I have insurance, I don't know how much it really costs.

1:07:59 Adam Have you ever tried to eat any of that stuff? I'm doing a survey because I kind of wish they'd just put that stuff over-the-counter. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:08:08 Guest Yeah, yeah, sure.

1:08:09 Adam What's the danger? You go into a pharmacy, you go into the thrifties to get the thing, right? On the shelves, you can buy tequila and sleeping pills, right there.

1:08:22 Guest Right.

1:08:22 Adam As well as you probably buy like frozen corn dogs, which got to be worse for you than anything you rub on yourself. I mean, you can buy lighter fluid and Sterno, you make a bomb, charcoal briquettes. You can make a bomb from stuff that you find on the counter, on the way to the prescription counter, and you could drink yourself to death and kill yourself. You take a big handful of Tylenol, wash that down with a fifth of Jack, die in your sleep. Right, Drew? Right. Your liver shut down, kill you, right? Why the prescription for the crap you rub on your hands? I just don't understand that. It doesn't make sense to me. It really sounds, yeah, that's what it sounds like to me. And why aren't Gore and Bush talking about this? Why all they talk about is prescription drugs? Why not? Let's talk about the stuff that is prescription. It doesn't need to be prescription, like crab shampoo. Crab shampoo, for Christ's sake. Why don't those pussies talk about that? In the toothpaste my dentist gave me, this has extra fluoride in it. This is prescription. Don't tell anyone I gave it to you. That's right, because I'll kill myself with this. I get whole, you know what I'm like with fluoride, Drew. I'm a mad man. I'm out of control with that fluoride. I get that in something that's actually 1% hydrocortisone. I go on a rampage.

1:09:40 Guest Make a bomb.

1:09:41 Adam I head for the border, man. What the hell? Give us this stuff that works. It's the only stuff that worked, right?

1:09:48 Guest Yeah.

1:09:49 Adam Yeah, get in line and wait a week and pay through the nose for it. I don't understand it. Why can't someone address this? Why doesn't Gordon Bush, why don't they discuss this? Why not say, hey, here's stuff that's effective. We believe it's safe or no more dangerous than anything else that's out on the shelf. Let's start making, let's start taking some of these things and making them, making them over the camera.

1:10:11 Guest Let's make a movie about that.

1:10:12 Drew Why don't we get a campaign, a young guy who campaigned for it.

1:10:15 Adam There we could use your hands finally.

1:10:17 Drew Right.

1:10:17 Guest A young guy just trying to get some eggs in the cream.

1:10:20 Guest Right. Maybe it just doesn't keep, like it sort of goes bad and so.

1:10:26 Adam Well, milk goes bad and if you drink it after long enough, I'm sure it would hurt you. Hot dogs go bad in your refrigerator. We don't eat those. There's plenty of examples of things that go bad.

1:10:36 Guest They make a prescription.

1:10:37 Drew I think if we got some campaign finance reforms, we'd be able to ask questions like, why is this not the case? But let's talk about the high dose, the high potency corticosteroid creams. If you put them on your face, they will discolor the skin. They will hypopigment it and bring blood vessels to the surface. It can be very disfiguring.

1:10:54 Adam Right.

1:10:55 Drew And if you take sufficient amount, you actually absorb so much, you can cause Cushing syndrome. You can actually shut your adrenal glands down with that if you take a lot of it. So somebody needs to monitor it.

1:11:05 Adam But no, we monitor it anyway, really. If you think about it, think about all those drugs you give me, Drew, right out of the trunk of your car. You don't know what's going on over there. And listen, if I hear another goddamn commercial for some prescription thing, where they then start listing the side effects, still with the chick kickboxing in the background, really living her life, causes projectile vomiting, projectile vomiting, it's not, not, not made for, greasy stool syndrome. Oh, oh, it just, it just keeps going and going and going and going. And I think as I'm sitting there eating my meal, hearing, hearing about senior euphoria and and the irritable bowel syndrome and all this kind of stuff. And I think to myself, why can't they, why can't the doctor be responsible for telling the person this? Why do I have to hear it? Me, who does not even need this medication? You know what I mean, Drew? Why don't you talk to some of your attorney buddies about that? Melissa?

1:12:05 Guest Yeah.

1:12:05 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:12:07 Guest Um, I left my virginity about six months ago and I've had 13 sexual partners since and I wanted to know if this was normal.

1:12:18 Adam It's a little light for one of our callers. We'd like to see up around 20, 21.

1:12:23 Drew Usually someone takes...

1:12:23 Adam On the other hand, you're just getting started, so it might have been a slow summer for you.

1:12:27 Drew Oftentimes, a young person who's had an unpleasant experience first time out, like a rape or something, will go out to try to master and regain some sense of power over these experiences.

1:12:38 Adam Did that happen to you?

1:12:40 Guest I was molested by my sister's boyfriend when I was 13.

1:12:43 Adam No, that ain't it. It's got to be... No. There you go, Melissa. There you go. Surprise, surprise. Drew, we're all individuals, aren't we? Everyone's their own. There's no way to predict any kind of human behavior, is there? No, there's not. And all those wiccans are thin, and we all know what's going on. So, Melissa. Yeah. All right, so now you're just doing a lot of acting out, right?

1:13:06 Drew You need to get some help with this. It means different things to different people, and it can be more serious if you have a history of addiction or if you're biologically prone to addiction because it can set up an addictive process, too. A way of trying to master feelings, a way of trying to regulate pain that you really will do anything to avoid. And sexualizing your feelings tends to regain some mastery over that initial trauma.

1:13:30 Adam Melissa, you lost your virginity at 15 or 16?

1:13:33 Drew 16.

1:13:34 Adam At 16, and you've had sex with then 13 more guys, and you're still 16 years old? Yeah. See, I had that plan, too. I lost my virginity at 16 and found to have sex with 13 more women. I met that mark at age 33. It's just exactly the same as you, except for what you were able to accomplish in six months. It took 16, 17 years for me. I wasn't working as hard as I could have. I think I could have gotten in under 15. The over-under was 19.

1:14:08 Drew A depression came in there and held you back a little bit.

1:14:10 Adam That's right.

1:14:11 Drew Your libido dropped.

1:14:12 Adam That's right. And this hairstyle wasn't always in fashion, which is another thing that's slowed me down just a little bit, I believe, in the late 70s, early 80s.

1:14:20 Drew So listen, this is something that needs a little help, okay? All right.

1:14:23 Adam And this was your sister's boyfriend?

1:14:25 Guest Yes.

1:14:26 Adam How old were you?

1:14:27 Guest I was 13.

1:14:28 Adam And he was how old?

1:14:29 Guest He was 32, I believe.

1:14:32 Adam Fantastic. He's a wonderful individual. What does he do? Work around metal?

1:14:36 Guest Construction.

1:14:37 Adam Construction, yeah. Yeah. That's all the dirtbags he used to work with. Well, hopefully, an eye beam or something will come loose and crush him.

1:14:45 Guest Yeah.

1:14:45 Adam That'd be nice. And your sister, how old is she?

1:14:48 Guest She's 22.

1:14:50 Adam I see.

1:14:51 Drew So she was 18 when he was 32.

1:14:53 Guest Yeah.

1:14:53 Adam It's fantastic. And where's daddy?

1:14:56 Guest My dad's at home.

1:14:57 Caller No, no. Really?

1:14:59 Adam Is he a good guy?

1:15:00 Guest Not really.

1:15:01 Adam No. All right, baby. You take care of yourself. Stop trying to solve your problems with the penis. Drew tried that all through college. No relief, was there, Drew? That penis didn't stop the pain. It was a temporary fix.

1:15:14 Drew I didn't use other people's, though.

1:15:16 Adam You used your own. On yourself? I see. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to who we got to talk to.

1:15:26 Drew I want to see what's.

1:15:27 Adam OK, we'll talk to you. Oh, mystery caller after this.

1:15:51 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:16:10 Caller Let's bring that up.

1:16:13 Guest Hey, it's Loveline.

1:16:14 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Eric Learson and Stephen Barker Turner, both here tonight. They're from Blair Witch 2. And Stephen says, is anyone gonna ask about the movie? I thought that was a good question. See, this show doesn't run like, it's not Larry King. People call in and talk about their nuts. And they don't call in and talk about it.

1:16:38 Guest Well, our movie and nuts are curiously related. I won't tell you how.

1:16:42 Adam If someone has any question about Blair Witch 2, which is coming out this Friday, please call in and ask it. And if you guys want to bring something up about it, something that we may not know, some interesting twist or wrinkle, like where did you guys film it? Canada?

1:16:59 Drew No.

1:17:00 Adam No.

1:17:00 Guest Outside of Baltimore.

1:17:01 Drew Maryland, yeah, where the original was filmed, right?

1:17:03 Guest Right near the town, yeah.

1:17:05 Guest Yeah, not in the town. We couldn't get into the town because the town of Burkittsville, the original one is set in, was really pissed off because people were, millions of people were swarming the hills, trying to collect dirt and stones and yeah.

1:17:19 Guest It's just like camping out. And that's what our movie is about. These kids are just going like camp out there.

1:17:24 Adam And did you have to film it there because it would look the same as the first one? I mean, because it had to take place? I mean, why did you have to go back there?

1:17:35 Guest Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, there's a certain feel to being there. The landscape is, you know, especially people who who are from Maryland and know that area. And you have to sort of honor.

1:17:47 Guest And we did some kind of like town scenes and we used real people from the area and stuff. So it had that authentic, weird kind of feel.

1:17:56 Guest Yeah.

1:17:57 Guest Small town, but in Maryland, very distinct.

1:18:00 Guest Yeah, the Maryland woods are scary woods.

1:18:03 Adam The Maryland people are scary people.

1:18:05 Guest They're funny. They're really funny. The people in our movie are hysterically funny.

1:18:10 Adam Drew, we've been in Maryland, right?

1:18:11 Drew Or we just drive through the University of Maryland.

1:18:13 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. Wonderful. The Terrapins.

1:18:16 Drew Terrapins.

1:18:17 Adam The Terrapins. The Turtles. Yeah. Right.

1:18:19 Drew I was sick mom. I remember.

1:18:21 Adam Yeah. You owe me for that show, buddy.

1:18:24 Drew That's right.

1:18:25 Adam Drew was, Drew got, what d'you have when we were over there? We did a little lecture in, we were coming out of Philadelphia. That's right. Yeah.

1:18:32 Drew I was, oh, you and, me and the driver.

1:18:36 Adam We had this great driver. We had to drive. We drove from Philadelphia. Where were we? We did a lecture at the University of Pennsylvania and then we drove to University of Maryland, right? Right. What was it, about a three and a half hour car ride?

1:18:49 Drew I was, he turned.

1:18:50 Adam Drew was nauseated in the back of the, back of the town car.

1:18:54 Drew Moaning.

1:18:55 Adam Moaning, like, like he really, like he had-

1:18:58 Drew No, I just got some virus. It was just awful.

1:19:00 Adam Like he got stuck with something in his side. And I had the-

1:19:04 Drew A spear.

1:19:05 Adam We had this driver, it was great. This guy was about, it was about four, no, it was about five, two.

1:19:10 Drew About two, yeah.

1:19:11 Adam About five, two. What'd he go?

1:19:14 Drew Big 320.

1:19:14 Adam 280 a second.

1:19:15 Drew That's in the morning. 300 pounds.

1:19:17 Adam Right out of the sauna.

1:19:18 Drew Right, remember?

1:19:18 Adam Yeah, he lost, he lost a bunch of weight, but he's still about 300, about five, two, and he liked talking food. And Drew was in the back and it was great. You know, Drew rarely loses his composure. But this guy was like, well, you know, the reason they call it the Philly cheesesteak is because it was originated in, well, it wasn't in Philadelphia, it was in Pennsylvania. And what you, now there's a lot of imposters out there. First off, you need the Velveeta, lots of Velveeta and hot, hot and creamy, molten Velveeta, you dump it all over that greasy steak. And you got the onion. And then some guys go with the provolone, not for me. You know, and he's got, me and him are waxing on about food.

1:19:59 Drew I just remember losing it when you got into bacon. Somehow bacon came out.

1:20:03 Adam We were talking about food for about 150 miles or something. Drew's in back, he's holding the sides like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, what is the difference between Canadian bacon and, well, I don't know, European bacon and what you call North American bacon? And that'd be Canadian bacon. And what do they call regular strip bacon? Is that strip bacon? Is all bacon smoked? I don't like the bacon. Not when you put it in the microwave. When I fry it up in the pan, that's great. It's all about the grease. And Drew, at a certain point, he leans forward and he goes, Shut up! It's like he'd been, he'd been bite. I guess he thought that we're going to stop talking about food, probably for like the last 100 miles or so. But we never stopped talking about food.

1:20:48 Drew And I was like delirious. I barely had the energy to shut up.

1:20:51 Adam All he could do was lean forward and yell at us both to shut up. And then he fell back in the seat. And then there was like 20 minutes of silence from me because we had nothing else to talk about. It was like, the Eagles look tough this year. Yeah. And we start drifting back. Yeah. Stadiums good.

1:21:10 Caller Yeah.

1:21:12 Adam You got pretzels there. Now, forget it. You know, you're consciously trying not to talk about something. Don't think about it. Yeah. So now here's your choice. Either talk about food or nothing. Now, like we couldn't think of anything else to talk about.

1:21:25 Drew Do you remember what we did next?

1:21:26 Adam What did I do? We pulled over somewhere.

1:21:28 Drew For food.

1:21:29 Adam Oh yeah. We got hungry.

1:21:30 Drew You stopped for food.

1:21:31 Adam Yeah. We got to pull over. We got to get something to eat. Well, we pulled over some rest stop too.

1:21:37 Caller Oh yeah.

1:21:38 Adam Oh, you know what we did? All right. Then we're moving on. We pulled over to a place near Seacane. Oh yeah. Which is a place I almost grew up in or was when I was a little kid. Well, these are wonderful stories. You know, when you're born, Huel Hauser, it's bad. Chris.

1:21:59 Drew Chris Callahoo. Yeah.

1:22:01 Caller Yeah. How's it going?

1:22:02 Adam You're 28. He was asleep. What's up?

1:22:04 Caller Boy, I'll tell you what, man.

1:22:05 Caller I can't believe I'm talking to you guys.

1:22:07 Caller I'm a long time listener.

1:22:08 Adam Fantastic.

1:22:09 Drew Nice.

1:22:10 Caller First time I got through.

1:22:11 Drew All right, Chris, what's going on?

1:22:13 Caller Man, where do I start? Actually, I got a bunch of questions and a bunch of theories and a bunch of things to talk about, but we don't have time for that.

1:22:20 Drew Come on, I want to hear them.

1:22:21 Adam You know what I like most about this driver? The game is 5'3 and 300 pounds.

1:22:24 Drew Tony, was that his name?

1:22:25 Adam Tony. He kept saying he doesn't pry. I don't pry. It's none of my business. What you do is your business. I don't ask questions. I say live and let live. You ever finger bang your wife?

1:22:35 Guest You ever do that?

1:22:37 Adam No? Hey, whatever. That's fine, because I don't know and I don't care.

1:22:40 Drew Remember the John Gotti story?

1:22:41 Adam He'd just keep going. Yeah, he'd start talking about John Gotti and, hey, what he does is what he does and what I do is what I do. I'm good friends with John Gotti. I had him kill somebody, but I don't talk about it. He just kept talking about it. He doesn't talk about stuff, but he kept talking about stuff. Chris?

1:22:57 Caller Yeah.

1:22:58 Adam All right. So go ahead.

1:22:59 Caller Okay. The question is, before anal sex, is it fine to douche? Is there anything that can happen down there? Is there any problems, any repercussions that could come out of douching before you have anal sex?

1:23:14 Drew You're talking about douching in her vagina?

1:23:17 Caller No, douching in her rectum.

1:23:20 Drew At that point, I believe you'd call that an anima.

1:23:23 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:23:24 Guest Yeah.

1:23:25 Adam Well, but what if you anima with douche?

1:23:27 Drew Anima with douche, it seems a little-

1:23:30 Adam Might get you on a technicality.

1:23:31 Drew A little irritating, I suspect.

1:23:33 Guest Let's call the whole thing off.

1:23:35 Drew I think that-

1:23:36 Caller You know what I'm saying is, I mean, you're not going to disrupt the ecosystem down there, are you?

1:23:39 Drew No, go ahead and anima. Anima sounds like a good thing before introducing anything else into that vicinity.

1:23:45 Guest If there's an ecosystem down there, that might be a problem.

1:23:50 Adam It's the indigenous people that live down there that you really-

1:23:53 Drew The aboriginal.

1:23:54 Adam The aboriginal tribes. You don't want to bring your- You can wipe them out with the common cold. Boy, you guys are old tonight. All right, so Chris, no, feel free to douche.

1:24:05 Drew Anima.

1:24:06 Adam Anima, whatever she wants to call it.

1:24:08 Caller No, I only say-

1:24:09 Adam No, that's all right.

1:24:11 Caller No, Chris, that's right.

1:24:13 Drew No, we're with you, Chris.

1:24:13 Adam There's a lot of flora and fauna. That's right. All right, there, there, Chris. Fantastic.

1:24:19 Drew I thought you'd want to stay with Chris. He's a pretty colorful guy.

1:24:22 Adam Well, he kept scaring me because he was like Floyd the Barber with that. You know, he'd go signing for it and then he'd go, BAM! He kind of like coats his time. BAM! It scared me. I'm going to turn my headphones down.

1:24:37 Guest It's like you're a compressor.

1:24:39 Adam Yeah, it just fires up while you're standing around. Let's see if you have one more thing, Chris.

1:24:44 Drew Yeah. What's up, Chris? What else?

1:24:46 Caller I'm sorry. I'm just...

1:24:47 Guest That's all right, buddy.

1:24:48 Drew I'm excited.

1:24:49 Caller I was drinking with a buddy and I introduced him to you guys' radio show.

1:24:53 Guest Okay.

1:24:54 Caller Like I said, I've been a long-time listener.

1:24:56 Drew Where are you calling from?

1:24:57 Caller I'm calling from Sacramento, California. All right.

1:24:59 Adam Beautiful country, isn't it?

1:25:00 Caller And I got to tell you too, I work for the United States Postal Service. I work swing shift. I work from 2.30 to 11. And I'll tell you what, man, at 10 o'clock every night, we listen to 98 Rock down here, 98.5. And you guys are...

1:25:17 Caller We're mechanics.

1:25:18 Adam Oh, really? You work on the cars with the wheel on the wrong side?

1:25:23 Caller We work on the old jeeps.

1:25:25 Adam Yeah.

1:25:26 Caller Yeah.

1:25:26 Adam Yeah, I like the guys who buy those at auction.

1:25:29 Caller Actually, you don't sell them no more.

1:25:31 Adam They don't?

1:25:31 Caller No, I guess a couple people had problems with them rolling over. So the government, they restricted the sale of those anymore.

1:25:38 Adam They're too bad.

1:25:39 Caller Yeah, and now we just have them crushed.

1:25:41 Adam Oh, that's good. That's our tax dollar hard at work. We can get a thousand bucks for these. Instead, we'll pay a thousand and have them crushed. Fantastic.

1:25:48 Caller Yeah.

1:25:48 Adam All right, Chris.

1:25:50 Caller Hey, you guys have...

1:25:51 Adam It's got a straight six in them?

1:25:53 Caller Some of them, yes.

1:25:54 Adam Yeah, it's a lot of engine for that vehicle.

1:25:57 Caller Yeah, it is.

1:25:57 Adam Yeah, could get by with a four.

1:25:59 Caller Oh, boy.

1:26:02 Caller The new ones are actually made by Ford. And I have a V6 in them. They're called CRVs, Carrier Route Vehicles.

1:26:08 Adam Great.

1:26:08 Caller Yeah, they got big, big.

1:26:10 Adam All right. So now, listen, I like the guys who walk the beat. I don't need them driving around over there.

1:26:16 Drew And by the way, does anybody have a question for the cast of Blair Witch?

1:26:19 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. We got to work those kids in too. You guys hanging in?

1:26:23 Drew Yeah.

1:26:24 Guest Oh, yeah, this is. This is fun.

1:26:26 Adam Jay?

1:26:27 Caller Yes.

1:26:28 Adam You're 19?

1:26:29 Caller Yeah.

1:26:29 Guest What's up?

1:26:30 Caller Well, first, I just wanted to say that I really respect what you guys do. And, you know, I'm glad to see that somebody cares enough to touch people's lives.

1:26:38 Adam What you guys do? Not many people take the time to call Wiccans fat. And I do because I care.

1:26:45 Guest You have to make the time to do that.

1:26:47 Adam That's right.

1:26:47 Drew What's up, Jay?

1:26:48 Caller Well, my girlfriend was raped actually twice, once when she was like 15 and once. And just recently, I believe.

1:26:57 Drew We would suspect that you're even missing a third time when she was like four.

1:27:01 Adam Same clown?

1:27:02 Caller Yeah. Well, actually, one was a long time friend when she was 14. And then the one just recently was the father of her son. And it just upsets me because, like, the reason why I have a problem dealing with one just recently.

1:27:18 Adam Oh, put the tabby on. Let's get to the bottom of this. What is that?

1:27:22 Caller That's the cat.

1:27:23 Adam The cat?

1:27:23 Caller Yeah, he's very vocal.

1:27:25 Adam No kidding.

1:27:26 Guest Wow.

1:27:27 Adam He thinks he's making a commercial or something.

1:27:30 Caller But, um...

1:27:32 Guest He's on the other line.

1:27:34 Caller The reason why I have, I think I have a problem dealing with it is because, I mean, she didn't do anything about it. You'd think after the first time, the second time...

1:27:42 Drew Jay, she was sexually abused much earlier, I guarantee it. This is that profile.

1:27:47 Adam Wait, wait. No, what happened most recently with the father of her child?

1:27:53 Caller He raped her. What she had told me is that, you know, somehow she ended up naked and she was scared and he started to have sex with her and then he stopped.

1:28:02 Adam Somehow. No, I know. You go to pick up your kid and you're just wearing your underpants and wind kicks up and fly off. Yeah.

1:28:13 Caller I mean, it was... She said that they were trying to work things out at the time and then...

1:28:19 Adam What about you?

1:28:20 Caller Where were you? Well, we hadn't started dating until four months after that.

1:28:24 Adam I see. And why is she telling you all this stuff?

1:28:28 Caller Well, because I'm one of the only guys that she quote says she trusts.

1:28:33 Drew You're the perfect one.

1:28:34 Adam Nice guy. I know you're in trouble, Joe.

1:28:35 Drew Well, no. This is a little bit different. This is perfect.

1:28:37 Adam Really?

1:28:37 Drew This is idealizing that for fall.

1:28:39 Adam J's perfect?

1:28:40 Drew For fall.

1:28:41 Adam J?

1:28:41 Caller Yes.

1:28:42 Adam How old is she?

1:28:44 Caller She's 20. She's going to be 21 in May.

1:28:46 Adam All right. Here's the deal. And I don't want to discourage anybody from being with somebody who needs help. But be prepared.

1:28:56 Drew This is a tough road to hoe here, J.

1:28:59 Adam She's going to be a lot of trouble for you. I mean, you may not be experienced enough or worldly enough to be able to handle this. This things are going to keep cropping up with her.

1:29:10 Drew Has she been in psychiatric care before?

1:29:12 Caller No. I mean, I've tried to convince her to do some sort of something, you know, but she hasn't and she's never been. I've no she hasn't. I've tried to just be a listening ear for her just to try to I don't know much about it, but just at least she's talking about it.

1:29:29 Adam All right. J, I want you to make me a promise. I didn't think of the rest of the question. I just thought something would jump into my head if I got started down the road. Apparently nothing. Anything?

1:29:40 Caller No.

1:29:41 Adam Here's my promise that you need to make. You hang in and be as good as you can be. You, A, don't get her pregnant and B, if she really starts getting weird in provoking you or really getting on you or whatever, you got to get out. Okay?

1:29:58 Caller Okay.

1:29:58 Caller What do you classify as weird?

1:30:01 Caller Like?

1:30:02 Adam She may try to sort of get you to abuse her at some point.

1:30:08 Drew Or provoke you in some way.

1:30:10 Caller Right.

1:30:11 Drew Or accuse you of things you didn't do or perceive things that were completely different and distorted.

1:30:15 Adam All relationships have their problems. You're going to hang in for a while. Don't get her pregnant and don't try to cure her. If she can play along and do her therapy and take care of herself, great. But you don't want to be her nanny.

1:30:27 Caller Would playing into that strangeness be like weird sexual fetishes? Like talking dirty? No, no, no.

1:30:36 Adam No, no. But there's going to be a certain amount of she's going to want to be hit a little bit sexually and that kind of stuff. Which is fine. A little rough trade is nice. But she's going to do some stuff. Keep your eyes open, Jay.

1:30:49 Drew And expect that there's a history of childhood sexual abuse here. That history is there somewhere.

1:30:54 Caller She's told me she has dreams almost of something happening.

1:30:59 Drew Right. Well, something happened.

1:31:01 Caller All right, Jay. She doesn't know.

1:31:02 Drew I'm telling you, something happened.

1:31:04 Caller Okay.

1:31:05 Adam Jay. Yeah. And get used to being with the cat because it's maybe what happens. All right? All right.

1:31:11 Caller Thanks.

1:31:12 Adam All right.

1:31:12 Caller Bye.

1:31:12 Adam What's a cat's name, Jay? Felix. Felix.

1:31:15 Drew Felix, of course.

1:31:16 Adam Amazing. Hi. Hold on a second. I mean, hold on forever. It's going to be in the name of my book. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Who's got some questions about the Blair Witch project, too? We'll field some of those after this.

1:31:35 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVES-191.

1:32:06 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Perola. She is Dr. Drew over there. She, I, you know, like I said, I call you she like an Italian sports car boat or something like that.

1:32:17 Drew You gotta be more effective by changed sexes.

1:32:20 Adam It couldn't hurt. It's the old Jewish enema joke goes. Insane clown posse will be in here later this week.

1:32:30 Drew I was just thinking, with Carrot Top, that would have been sort of a genius parry, wouldn't it?

1:32:34 Adam Both those folks scare me for different reasons, but either way, I'll be frightened at least twice this week. And speaking of frightened, you know what's coming out? The Blair Witch 2 is coming out coming up this Friday. Erica and Stephen are both here from the new movie. And Erica, by the way, was Summa Cum Laude. Do you know that, Drew? Is that right? At Boston University. That's a real school.

1:33:02 Guest How do you know that?

1:33:04 Adam You know, I got a vibe off of you. I got, I knew you were smart when you walked in this room.

1:33:10 Drew So, Summa, you did a thesis.

1:33:12 Guest Well, I was an acting major.

1:33:14 Caller You did a thesis?

1:33:15 Guest Yeah, I did, yeah, a thesis production. But it's more like, I didn't direct it. I was just in it.

1:33:22 Drew Of?

1:33:23 Guest A Tale of Two Cities.

1:33:24 Adam No.

1:33:24 Guest Yeah.

1:33:25 Adam Dickens?

1:33:26 Drew Good, Adam.

1:33:27 Adam Wow, huge. I'm a genius, I tell you.

1:33:31 Guest You're not in the control.

1:33:32 Adam Ah, yeah, how'd that, so how'd that work? That worked, that Tale of Two Cities?

1:33:37 Guest Yeah, it worked, you know.

1:33:38 Drew You guys should go to Summa, Adam. Come on.

1:33:40 Adam That's a real funny movie book there. Funny, right?

1:33:45 Drew That's comedy.

1:33:47 Adam Alright, you ready to roll here? Jeff?

1:33:50 Caller Yeah?

1:33:50 Adam You're fourteen? Fifteen. Been on hold for a while. What's up?

1:33:56 Caller Yeah.

1:33:57 Adam It's ironic because Jeff, we've never had this before, but it actually says fourteen twice.

1:34:03 Drew Yeah. Three times.

1:34:05 Adam Almost three times. It says it twice when it never does on any of the other calls except for the one that's wrong. Maybe you did, yeah.

1:34:12 Caller I've only been fifteen for like a month, so.

1:34:15 Adam Alright, buddy. What's up?

1:34:16 Caller Yeah, it's for the Blair Witch people. Did anything weird or spooky happen on the set when you were filming?

1:34:22 Adam Three crew members died.

1:34:25 Caller No, that's not true.

1:34:26 Adam They ate too many donuts and exploded. The chair broke. They were sitting on it. They were eating way too many donuts at the Grand Service and died. I know those union guys work. Alright, what? Anything good?

1:34:38 Guest Well, there were a lot of weird people hanging out in the woods who actually lived in the woods in shacks.

1:34:43 Guest Really? Oh, really?

1:34:44 Guest Yeah, I was like going around exploring, like, in these crazy shacks. Wondered by yourself? Yeah. So I was bored sometimes on set, so I'd just like go out. And I heard all these-

1:34:54 Guest These would have to wander off and find her.

1:34:55 Guest Yeah. All these legends about, you know, people who were, like, living out there. It's a really weird place. I don't know.

1:35:02 Drew Did you come across people?

1:35:03 Guest Um, I didn't come across an actual person. I just kind of looked around his house.

1:35:09 Adam Drew was jogging in a riverbed in Pasadena yesterday and found a fecal matter that was shaped into a pinch pot. Talk about frightening.

1:35:18 Drew As good as my witness.

1:35:20 Adam Yeah, you want to talk about a horror. That's a Los Angeles horror story there. We don't eat goblins. We have deranged homeless people cramping in riverbeds. That's a true horror. So now they...

1:35:33 Guest People would come out of the woods, actually, when we were filming certain scenes. They would start coming out at night.

1:35:39 Drew Just like where Ted Kaczynski lived, right?

1:35:41 Guest And start walking up to us and just...

1:35:43 Drew That's the idea.

1:35:44 Guest Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

1:35:45 Drew Kind of a living situation.

1:35:46 Guest It was freaky, but I didn't actually meet anyone.

1:35:49 Adam Right, so now that Steve, anything...

1:35:53 Guest Well, while we were filming a hospital scene, we had a sign crash on one of our cast members' hospitals. Merge Zero sign, sort of, but that was basically just a sort of set dresser's accident more than...

1:36:05 Guest It fell right on her face.

1:36:06 Guest More than a witch.

1:36:07 Adam Ooh.

1:36:08 Guest But yeah.

1:36:08 Adam Is she all right?

1:36:09 Guest Yeah.

1:36:10 Adam Okay. She couldn't die a thousand deaths.

1:36:12 Guest No.

1:36:12 Adam Too bad.

1:36:13 Caller Eric? Eric?

1:36:15 Adam Yes, that's you. Hey. Hey, you're 16. Are you stoned?

1:36:20 Caller No.

1:36:20 Guest All right.

1:36:21 Adam What do you want?

1:36:22 Guest I like to masturbate in class.

1:36:24 Adam I see. Which class? Driver's ed?

1:36:27 Caller No, science.

1:36:28 Adam Science? Yeah. Okay.

1:36:31 Caller Hey, could I make a shout out real quick? Uh-huh.

1:36:34 Adam No. Oh, no.

1:36:35 Caller All right.

1:36:36 Adam Let's talk to Amber.

1:36:39 Caller Hi.

1:36:40 Adam Amber, you're 20. What's going on?

1:36:42 Caller I'm not 20.

1:36:43 Caller I'm 15.

1:36:44 Adam All righty.

1:36:45 Caller Yeah. Um, I have no gag reflexes.

1:36:48 Adam That's good. What's wrong? Hey, Amber?

1:36:54 Caller Yeah.

1:36:55 Adam So how do you know you have no gag reflexes?

1:36:57 Caller Because I was like...

1:36:59 Adam Drew, what are you doing? Sorry. Stop monkeying. Amber? Jesus Christ.

1:37:03 Caller Whenever, like, I deep-throat guys, I don't gag anymore.

1:37:06 Adam I see. Yeah. And I was that way in high school, too. I could take so much Johnson. It was unbelievable. They called me the penis king of all penises. They called me in high school. I'd take the holes, football, soccer, line them up, line them up. I'll take you all. I said, that was back then. Now it's like, oh boy. You know how it is, Drew.

1:37:25 Guest After just the football team, you got problems.

1:37:28 Adam Yeah. You know, you just, you can no longer, you can't take that schlong anymore. But that's, that's more old, old agent. You lose everything when you're older. Amber?

1:37:39 Caller Yeah.

1:37:39 Adam I'm just saying enjoy it while you can.

1:37:41 Caller Yeah.

1:37:42 Guest But are there any like health risks that can go with it?

1:37:45 Drew Of what?

1:37:46 Adam We get AIDS.

1:37:47 Drew Wait, the risk of what?

1:37:48 Guest Like, I don't know, just choking.

1:37:52 Drew I understand. Well, Adam, you went in such a weird direction with this.

1:37:56 Adam The penis is attached to something, right?

1:37:58 Drew Are you saying that you just don't gag? Is that the deal? I don't gag at all. That's the question. Can having an absent or suppressed gag reflex hurt you? Yes, you can choke. The gag reflex is there to prevent you from choking.

1:38:11 Adam But all you got to do is sit up.

1:38:15 Guest Yeah.

1:38:16 Adam You know what I mean?

1:38:17 Guest Yeah.

1:38:17 Drew To avoid choking, you mean?

1:38:19 Adam Yeah. Just lean up and swivel one of the captain's chairs from the vans back toward the highway and you'll be fine. Listen, Amber, what do you want? What happened to you? What's going on with you? You didn't call because of that. Why are you blowing everybody? Who abused you?

1:38:37 Caller No reason.

1:38:38 Adam What's up?

1:38:39 Caller Nothing.

1:38:39 Adam Who did what to you? Where's your daddy?

1:38:41 Caller Asleep. Where?

1:38:43 Adam In prison?

1:38:44 Caller No.

1:38:44 Caller In his bedroom.

1:38:45 Adam You get sexually abused?

1:38:46 Caller No.

1:38:47 Adam Someone's an alcoholic?

1:38:49 Caller No.

1:38:50 Adam Huh?

1:38:50 Caller Not really.

1:38:51 Adam What do you mean, not really?

1:38:52 Caller They occasionally drink.

1:38:54 Adam Physical abuse? No. You ever raped?

1:38:57 Caller No.

1:38:57 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

1:38:59 Guest Fourteen.

1:39:00 Adam How old was the guy?

1:39:02 Guest No, he was sixteen.

1:39:04 Adam All right. No stepbrothers?

1:39:06 Guest I have a step sister, but that's it.

1:39:07 Adam Does she do anything weird to you?

1:39:09 Caller No.

1:39:09 Drew Wait, is this dad you're talking about, your biological dad?

1:39:12 Caller Yeah.

1:39:13 Adam Yeah. What about stepdad?

1:39:15 Caller I don't have any stepdads.

1:39:17 Adam All right. Okay, why you...

1:39:18 Drew Stepmom?

1:39:19 Adam Yes. Why are you going down on everybody? Whoa, whoa.

1:39:22 Drew You have a stepmom?

1:39:23 Caller Yeah.

1:39:23 Drew Where's your mom?

1:39:24 Caller My mom lives, I haven't seen her for like 13 years.

1:39:27 Adam Ah, now we're getting warm. What's up with her?

1:39:31 Caller She's on drugs.

1:39:32 Adam There we go. Aha. Well, okay. I was working the dad side. What's your mom's drug of choice?

1:39:38 Caller Heroin. I'm not sure.

1:39:40 Adam But it's a bad one, right?

1:39:41 Caller Yeah.

1:39:41 Adam All right, so now you're screwed up, right? Okay. Well, you're not going to solve it by blowing guys. God knows. I tried to drown my sorrows in semen for many years. And although rewarding, you know, to some degree, yeah, I got a quick fix to semen, sure.

1:39:56 Drew But over the moment, gratifying in the moment.

1:39:58 Adam That's right. That's it.

1:39:59 Drew The point is, Amber, that the individual you needed to help you develop the systems in your brain to be able to regulate your own feelings was not there. She was either on drugs or actually physically absent. And that now leaves you trying to find other ways of feeling better, feeling good about yourself, and you're going down the wrong road. No pun intended. You really are. And find friends, activities that are gratifying for you, give you a higher sense of worth and esteem, spend time with people that care about you, do not go down the road you're going down.

1:40:28 Adam And maybe you're getting a sword swallowing or something, somewhere you make a living in a circus or something. I'm saying parlay that. You take the lemons, you make lemonade.

1:40:37 Caller Yeah.

1:40:38 Adam All right. We'll take a break. Easy now, baby. All right?

1:40:40 Caller Yeah.

1:40:41 Adam All right. Oh boy, I'll tell you what our best work when these mics are called, Drew.

1:41:20 Drew Every night.

1:41:22 Adam We have talked for some time about doing the Loveline during the commercial show, right? We're really good at the truth. All right, everybody, go out and see the Blair Witch 2. When, Blair Witch Project 2, when it does come out, which is coming out this Friday, right?

1:41:41 Guest Yep, October 27th.

1:41:42 Adam Big fat wide release, right? Wait, when's Halloween? That's right before Halloween, right?

1:41:48 Guest Right before Halloween.

1:41:48 Adam Perfect, couldn't be better. All right, I'm gonna thank Erica and Stephen for both coming in here and being in support tonight. And again, Blair Witch 2 coming out this Friday. Thanks a lot, guys. Thank you. So, until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew is saying, mahalo. Well, he doinked me a couple of places.

1:42:06 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, October 22, 2000