Episode 1000754887090

1:22 It's another buzz moment of manliness.

1:24 Adam Here, pull my finger, pull it.

1:26 Outrageous talk radio, 100.7.

1:32 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:43 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

1:48 Hey, hey, it's the Loveline.

1:51 Voiceover I'm Adam Corolla. That's my good partner, pal over there, Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, facts number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And let me tell you something. This Dr. Drew, he don't show up here night after night to grab a check and laugh all the way to the bank. He is interested. Man is he interested in the human condition. It is a passion of his. Some people like building ships and bottles, other people collect butterflies. Drew, he likes the human condition. That's right. And he studies it.

2:27 Drew I think about it.

2:28 Adam Yeah.

2:29 Drew He's just a dick. No, no. Which one was he referring to?

2:33 Adam I have no idea. I think the human condition is a dick. Drew is a truly a passionate man.

2:40 Drew We're going back to that again.

2:42 Adam I enjoy a little nipple play. That's why we make a perfect team. Yes. Drew is very passionate, very passionate man. Jennifer.

2:51 Yeah.

2:51 Adam You're 15.

2:52 Caller Yeah.

2:53 Adam What's up?

2:54 Caller I just got my tongue pierced two days ago.

2:57 And it's just like this morning when I got up, it's like swollen, like all around it.

3:04 And it's like the size of a dom. And it's hard.

3:06 Drew A dom?

3:08 Huh?

3:09 Adam A dom?

3:10 No, a dime.

3:12 Drew A dime.

3:13 Adam The area where you got pierced is the size of a dime.

3:16 Caller Yeah, like it's all around it. Yeah.

3:18 Drew The swollen area. Does it hurt?

3:21 Caller Yeah. It's like.

3:22 Drew Is there any drainage from it? Any drainage? Any drainage from it?

3:26 Adam You mean it's a leaking pus?

3:28 Caller A little, but that's, I mean.

3:30 Drew Did you do what you were supposed to do with the aftercare of the piercing?

3:34 Caller Yeah. Listerine, I mean.

3:36 Drew I would suggest you first call the place that does the piercings because they're pretty knowledgeable about the aftercare of these things. But Doc needs to take a look at this. These things can have hematomas. They can get infected. I've seen some nasty tongue problems. Really? Yeah.

3:50 Adam Yeah.

3:51 Drew What do you think? You're putting a spear through a body part. What do you think?

3:55 Adam Where do you chicks get the wevos by the way? You know what I'm saying? I mean, really, I can't go to the dentist. You know what I mean?

4:04 Drew Yeah.

4:05 Adam I can't get shot up with novocaine, get the laughing gas and just get the teeth cleaned. It's too... I cringe when I think about it.

4:12 Drew The tongue piercings that I've seen, the thing that got me the most is this sound. Yes, it's scarous, like...

4:18 Guest Yeah, I've got another one at the tip of my tongue.

4:21 Drew Oh, two piercings.

4:21 Adam Baby, what happened to you? What's up with you? Where's daddy? What did somebody do to you?

4:27 Guest What did somebody do to me?

4:28 Adam Someone did something. What'd they do?

4:30 What's your dad doing in Israel?

4:31 Adam What's your dad do to you?

4:33 Guest Just the normal.

4:35 Drew The usual.

4:36 Adam Alcohol, sexual abuse.

4:38 What's my dad doing in Israel?

4:40 Adam You got sexual abuse?

4:41 Caller Yeah.

4:42 Drew And physical abuse.

4:43 Adam By your dad?

4:44 Caller Yeah.

4:45 Drew Jennifer, let me just reassure you, that's not usual.

4:48 Adam You're going to need a third piercing, baby.

4:51 Guest Oh, I'm going this weekend to get my nipple pierced, so.

4:53 Adam Keep it going. Keep going. Keep going till you look like a sieve.

4:57 Drew Speaking of my spending time.

4:58 Adam It'll make it all better.

4:59 Drew My time obsessing about the human condition, and you obsessing about cars. Look at that. But obsessing about the human condition is the fact that people that are fans of piercing want to conceptualize it as some sort of rite of passage. It's regaining control of something.

5:18 Adam Yeah.

5:19 Drew I want to see evidence that it actually does something.

5:21 It does.

5:22 Drew What does it do?

5:22 It's good for oral sex.

5:24 No.

5:24 Drew You got the same effed up problems you had before. So you stuck up here.

5:28 Adam Keep going.

5:28 Keep going.

5:31 Adam Keep putting holes in yourself, Jennifer. It'll make it all better. What did your dad do to you? What kind of sexual abuse? Just a little.

5:37 So I'm, I've had a whole line of family members.

5:40 So I'm, I've had a whole line of family members. So I'm, I've had a whole line of family members.

5:44 Drew Where are you from? I want to know where she's from.

5:48 Adam Yeah, I know. Anderson. Well, actually I instated a policy which had no intention of backing up, which was, I'm going to hang up on people that use the S word or the F word, except for myself. And, all right, now listen, everything's a mess, but how about you get a little therapy and stop punching holes in yourself?

6:05 Drew Where are you from? I'm from Georgia. Georgia. All right. They do in Georgia.

6:08 Adam All right.

6:09 Drew Mental note.

6:09 Adam Jennifer, I hope I'll see your dad in hell. Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet?

6:15 Drew No, not yet.

6:16 Adam Where is he?

6:17 Drew He's in jail. Right on.

6:18 Adam Good. Good. Hey, listen, don't have any kids.

6:21 Drew Hey, by the way, and mention to some of his jailmates, his prison mates, just what he did to you.

6:26 Guest Yeah, I don't know.

6:28 Drew Be a nice payback.

6:29 Adam What do you think? She brings a bullhorn to visiting day?

6:31 Drew But you know what I mean? If she can pass a little, hey, this.

6:34 Adam How do you pass that along? Hey, is this on? You know, I'd love to use the reverb, reverb in this place, but it hasn't worked for three years. I always want to use this thing. There's a button here that says reverb that you can push. It makes it sound like you're speaking to an auditorium that I would use three or four times a night, except for it doesn't work because we're at Westwood, too. But what do you want to do? Deliver a message to the inmates, which I would do via the microphone if the goddamn reverb worked in this dump. Erin?

7:06 Yeah?

7:07 Adam You're 18. What's up?

7:08 Caller Well, I was dating a married man and I slept with him the night. And now I feel really stupid and really used and I don't know what to do. His wife kept calling. And it was really bad.

7:21 Adam His wife kept calling while he was on top of you?

7:24 Caller No. Like, we were sitting in the car and then all of a sudden the phone would ring and he talked to her and she'd tell him this and that and then they'd say, I love you. And like, I felt like crap. And then we did it. And then all of a sudden, two minutes later, she calls again. And it was, it was bad.

7:39 Drew Did she, did she send something was going on?

7:41 Caller Well, she sent something was going on. He cheats on her all the time and it's really bad. And she cheats on him and it's, I don't know.

7:48 Drew Nice.

7:48 Adam Did they have kids?

7:49 Caller Yeah.

7:50 Drew Oh my God. Did your dad do this?

7:52 Caller My dad? Oh, my dad cheats on like pretty much all of his wives.

7:57 Adam First of all, the jovial. I like that. First of all, when he's not right, he's cheating.

8:02 Caller But you see how she responds like, he used to come to my room when I was nine. He'd be drunk.

8:09 He'd rape me.

8:12 Drew But her thing was, this is another one of the corollaries to your batting cage. Which was, did your dad, she liked the suit? My dad? Everybody.

8:25 Adam He banged my mom's sister a couple of times.

8:29 Caller My dad, I don't know what's wrong with my dad. He never did anything to me. My stepbrother.

8:33 Drew But the point is, Aaron, you stepbrother. But Aaron, you see you're recreating this whole thing. You're recreating it.

8:40 Adam Okay, listen, I'm not here to stop anyone from anything anymore. I realize I can't do that. Just don't get pregnant. Please don't get pregnant.

8:48 Drew What do I do though?

8:48 Caller Because now like he comes into my work like every day.

8:51 Drew He wants sex. That's all he cares about.

8:53 Adam Maybe he just wants a cordita.

8:54 Drew What do you think he wants? A cordita, a supreme.

8:56 Adam I don't know.

8:57 Caller I've known him for about three years.

8:58 Drew What do you think he's interested in? He doesn't care about you.

9:02 Caller He's a horn dog. Yeah.

9:03 Drew Does that make you feel good about how he...

9:06 Guest No, it makes me feel like...

9:07 Drew Okay. Oh, man. One of them nights. But look...

9:10 Adam What is it? Debutante night?

9:12 Drew Yeah. It's finishing school only.

9:15 Adam Holy Christ. Stop cussing in the goddamn radio. People are driving me insane. Listen, I'm using reverse psychology. All you girls that were crapped on by your dad and raped by your stepbrother, go ahead. Just poke holes in yourself until you look like an American naval vessel docked outside of some foreign country. Nice. And just hump every married guy in town and just keep doing it. Anything to feel better. Just keep it going. Keep it going. Keep poking holes in yourself and letting married men poke holes in you. Anything to stop the pain. Just keep it going, everybody. You're all going to be dead one day and it's important to feel good up until that point. Kyle?

10:00 Caller Yeah, hi.

10:01 Adam You're 13?

10:02 Caller Yeah.

10:02 Adam What's up?

10:04 Caller First, I'd like to say, Adam, I heard Israel.

10:07 Adam Thank you.

10:08 Caller And Drew, I love your website.

10:11 Drew Thank you.

10:11 Caller I think it's very great. Well, I've been masturbating for about a year and a half now since I was about, I'd say, 11.

10:22 Adam And like, so did something come out of you at 11?

10:27 Caller Clear.

10:29 Drew When did it start feeling like an orgasm?

10:32 Caller I bought like this back massager. I've been using that. I used to use that by now.

10:39 Adam Yeah.

10:40 Caller My hands, my best friend.

10:41 Adam Yeah. You know all this.

10:42 Drew You gave it to your best friend.

10:44 Adam You know all those 12-year-olds with the lumbar problems, Drew?

10:46 Drew I was going to say, what do the parents think? Oh, my low back. My lumbago. Yeah.

10:51 Adam His lumbago. His sciatica is acting up. He's on his third one. We're nine months into the year.

10:59 Drew Yeah. I had my...

11:01 Adam All right.

11:01 Drew So......laminectomy last week.

11:03 Adam You all right? So... Your folks, do your folks ever see that thing, you know, just melting, sitting in the corner? They don't get suspicious?

11:14 Caller I hide it, like, behind my bed, under my bed all the time.

11:18 Adam Even worse.

11:19 Caller Yeah.

11:19 Adam Because that's, that's an admission of guilt. I mean, if they do find it, that's guilt.

11:24 Caller I've been looking at Porn Republic since I was six too.

11:26 Drew Uh-oh. How'd you get your hands on that?

11:30 Caller Um, I don't know, Cinemax. Oof.

11:33 Adam Yeah. We had on TV.

11:35 Drew Mental Nose.

11:36 Adam Nothing. All right. So Kyle, what do you want?

11:38 Caller Um, every time I masturbate, like, some blood comes out. And it's just recently happened about a month ago.

11:46 Drew You got to talk to your doctor about this. It's probably nothing. It's relatively common, but this is awfully persistent to have this problem. Do you have blood when you urinate at all?

11:55 Caller Uh, no.

11:56 Drew Any pain at any point?

11:58 Caller Oh, in my testicles there is. Well.

12:00 Drew This pain?

12:01 Caller Yeah.

12:02 Drew Yeah, you got to, you got to let somebody take a look. How many times a day are you masturbating?

12:06 Caller Twice. Once, twice.

12:07 Drew All right. You got to, your doctor must see this, okay?

12:10 Adam Yeah. Let me, let me tell you about once or twice. Put a zero behind that one or that two.

12:13 Drew I'm afraid so.

12:14 Adam Hey, Kyle, using the vibrator every time?

12:18 Drew He gave it to his best friend.

12:19 Caller I started back up on it a little while ago. Sure. Not like all the time, but if I'm lazy, I'll do it.

12:28 Adam Right. You have a hard time explaining to your parents when you're going camping, why you need to bring the generator? Yeah. They lent it to his friend. Drew, you weren't into that, were you?

12:41 Drew No. Are you kidding?

12:43 Adam Keep thrills.

12:43 Drew You didn't talk about masturbation in 1972.

12:46 Adam Really?

12:47 Drew No.

12:47 Adam Jeez, my buddy. Well, you know my buddies. I was forced to masturbate. They were.

12:52 Drew And talk about it.

12:53 Adam They're so upset that I wasn't. Dan?

12:56 Yes.

12:56 Adam You're 24.

12:58 Caller Yeah. I have like on my left testicle, it feels like there's like extra pipes and stuff in there.

13:04 Drew That can be veins, dilated veins, and it can be just the tubular system there. It's usually it's veins that you feel. It feels like a bag of worms kind of. Yeah. Yeah, it's usually veins.

13:15 Adam What are you going to do? What should he do?

13:18 Drew Probably nothing. Is it painful or swollen?

13:21 Caller No, it doesn't seem like it. And if anything, the one that has the extra veins feels a little bit smaller.

13:26 Yeah.

13:28 Drew It might be worth having somebody take a look at urologists just to make sure that things are healthy the way they should be. You don't want to risk your fertility. Sometimes the hydrocele and the hematoceles like this can affect things.

13:41 Adam All right. So who should they see?

13:42 Drew Urologist.

13:43 Adam You already said that, right? All right, Dan, go see the urologist. Okay. All right.

13:48 Drew Probably no big deal.

13:51 Adam Should you see a urologist at a certain point?

13:54 Drew No.

13:54 Adam No?

13:55 Drew Yeah. The point at which you get prostate cancer.

13:58 Adam All right. So I should wait till I get the prostate cancer? Fantastic. We're talking about cars. My love of automobiles. Yes.

14:05 Drew I want to see that. I want to see that.

14:06 Adam All right. Hold on a second. I brought a brochure in tonight, but I was looking through a car magazine tonight. One of these cars for sale magazines. Just kind of keep my eyes open, taking a look at what's out there. As I've talked about before, I always love when they list why they have to sell a car. Divorce forces sale. Yeah. New kid, wife. Always blame it on the old lady, by the way. Guys do that all the time. It is either the divorce forces the sale of the sports car or the wife is forcing him to sell it because they have a new kid and she's getting a minivan and he's got to, you know, he's got to do away with his beloved Porsche or BMW or whatever it is.

14:43 Drew Not the guys actually do this is that they heard those stories when they were 14 and thought they were glamorous.

14:48 Adam Right.

14:48 Drew And now we're telling them to other other retards.

14:51 Adam But here's my point to anyone who's selling a vehicle out there. If you would like to sell your vehicle, that's fine with me.

15:00 Drew Put a good price on it.

15:01 Adam Go ahead.

15:02 Drew That's it.

15:02 Adam Name the mileage, name the price and sell the goddamn car. I don't need to know all the reasons behind the sale, especially the emotional ones. And I would like to be extended that same courtesy, by the way, the day the day that comes when I sell my car, I don't want to have to explain why I'm selling it. I'd like to sell it and get another car. Is that all right?

15:23 Drew That's the reason I'm selling it.

15:24 Adam Yes. Yes. The great part is I don't want to sell it, but I have to sell it. And the great, I saw, I was reading tonight, I started laughing out loud. I read all these ads and, you know, like I said, moving forces sale, divorce, force of wife, teenager going to college, force of sale, prostate surgery, force of sale, everything's like force of sale. Here's a great one. It says it's like a 99 BMW M5, Cosmos black, gray two-tone interior, 7,000 miles. I hate myself for selling this car.

15:57 Drew Only 40,000 over.

15:59 Adam I swear to Christ, it said I hate myself for selling this car. I wanted to call the guy and let's find out how badly he felt about selling the car. Let's call him. I wish I had it in there. I have it at home. I'm sure it's like in Roanoke or something.

16:13 Drew You want an M5?

16:14 Adam Yeah, but it's important for me that the person really hate themselves. And by the way, that's not a great selling point to me. The fact that you may kill yourself because I've taken your car away does not make me sleep well at night. I hate myself. Jimmy?

16:32 Yes?

16:33 Adam You're 15? What's up?

16:36 Caller I have two questions.

16:37 Adam Uh-huh.

16:38 Caller Number one, is, um, see, I've like had sex like a few times before.

16:44 Adam Yes.

16:44 Caller And I haven't done it in a while.

16:45 Guest I'm just wondering if it's natural to feel, you know, like, Oh, my God.

16:56 Adam Poor Anderson over there is trying to screen calls. He's doing double duty tonight. It's a good thing that Chariors has wheels on it, Anderson, because he's sliding back and forth to the board and he's, uh, bleeping out everyone who uses the S word and F word on this show. And so far, I think we're three for four. And listen, I understand if you're in the middle of a tirade and it comes flying out, but saying you feel like Ace casually, or like last night when someone said, I was taking an Ace, that's kind of inexcusable, isn't it? Listen, all you idiots, you're calling a radio show. Close your eyes and think of the amount of times you've heard the F word on the radio. Is there a big zero popping up in that that puny stone brain of yours? That's right. And you know why? Because we're not allowed to use that word. Tracy?

17:49 Hi.

17:50 Adam You're 18. What's up?

17:52 Caller Um, I met this 16-year-old and I'm 18, yeah. And I was just wondering how wrong it would be to like think about getting involved with him.

18:02 That's fine.

18:03 Drew We don't have a problem with that.

18:04 Adam Are you fat?

18:05 Caller No.

18:06 Adam You sure?

18:07 Caller Yeah.

18:08 Adam All righty, then it's fine.

18:09 Caller Okay.

18:10 Adam All right.

18:10 Drew No, I just, he's not just 16, is he? He's like 16.

18:14 Caller I don't know if he's like almost 17 or just like...

18:17 Drew No, he's fine.

18:18 Adam Where'd you meet him?

18:20 Caller At the... Well, we both work at the mall.

18:22 Adam I see. What? Where do you...

18:24 Caller Go over there and like always get free water from him.

18:26 Adam Where do you work at the mall? Oh, free water. Wow. This guy's a high roller.

18:31 Drew Is he the water fountain attendant?

18:33 Adam He's in charge of the tap.

18:35 Caller What?

18:36 Adam He gives you free water.

18:38 Drew What do you do there?

18:38 Caller Well, actually, I don't...

18:39 Adam By the way, how hard... Hold on a second. How hard would you have laughed at the statement, he gives me free water 15 years ago?

18:46 Drew Yeah.

18:47 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

18:47 Drew You would not laugh. You would have been bewildered.

18:49 Adam What are you talking about? Free water.

18:50 Drew Free water.

18:51 Adam You got free water at home, don't you? Does everyone get free water?

18:54 Drew I never paid for water.

18:57 Caller My job is I'm like...

18:59 Drew What's your job?

19:00 Caller I sell jewelry.

19:02 Adam I see. Do you own one of those carts?

19:05 Caller No.

19:06 Adam Oh, sorry, baby. And where does he work? He works for the DWP? He works where?

19:12 Caller Seattle's Best Coffee.

19:14 Adam I see. And he gives you free water. Why don't you hit him up for some coffee?

19:19 Caller Because I don't... I don't really like coffee.

19:22 Adam Oh, OK.

19:22 Drew That's a good reason.

19:23 Adam All right, Tracy.

19:24 Drew Enjoy.

19:25 Adam Go right ahead. Have fun. Thanks. Yeah. That's no big deal. I don't mind that. You all right with that, Drew?

19:32 Drew I'm fine with that. Are you kidding?

19:33 Adam Hey, I like it better than a 18-year-old guy or the six-year-old chick.

19:36 Drew Absolutely. Absolutely.

19:38 Oh, man.

19:39 Adam She's going to kill him in the sack. John?

19:41 Yeah. You're 18? Yeah.

19:43 Adam What's up?

19:43 I have like red dots all around my penis and stuff.

19:48 Drew All around. I'm trying to picture what all around means.

19:53 Adam I picture a sort of halo going around his penis like in the cartoons when a guy gets clunked on the head with the anus holding the birds go around his head. Is that what you're talking about, John?

20:02 Caller Huh?

20:04 Okay.

20:04 Anyway, like whenever I like try and pee and stuff at heart, it stings like real bad and stuff.

20:10 Yeah.

20:10 Drew Did you, did you traumatize your penis? You know what I mean? Did you, did you hurt it in some way?

20:15 No.

20:16 Drew Cause red dots usually means like some excess pressure was applied. Those are called patechial, purple dots.

20:21 Adam Hey John. Yeah. You're 18. You should have, your battery shouldn't be this low at 18. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're like, if you were, if you were like, if you're like a toy that ran off of batteries, we're ready to throw you away. Can't you kick it up a notch? Probably.

20:41 Caller Okay.

20:45 Adam What's up with 18 year olds? They basically sound like they got one foot in a grave now. You know what I'm saying?

20:50 Caller It's bad time.

20:52 Adam I got some bad time. It's like, you're on the radio. Hey, Dick, let's get going. Is it smoking a ton of weed, or is it being depressed, or what is it?

21:02 Drew Depressed, weed, abused.

21:05 Adam Hey, John. John.

21:07 Yeah.

21:08 Adam Will you smoke a lot of weed?

21:10 Not too much.

21:11 Adam Not so much?

21:11 Drew Not too much every day?

21:13 No, maybe like once or twice a week.

21:16 Adam Are you depressed?

21:18 No.

21:18 Adam All right.

21:19 Drew Are you asleep?

21:21 Not too much.

21:23 Adam Okay, John. Hey, have a good life, buddy. Okay. All right. Have fun out.

21:27 Out there.

21:29 Adam John's a guy I get at the car rental counter, you know, in like five years.

21:34 Drew When you're in a hurry, trying to get a plane.

21:36 Caller Yeah.

21:38 Adam What's your name? Let me look. Is that K-O-R?

21:46 Drew I'm not the electronics engineer.

21:49 Adam Oh, I don't know. Listen. Oh, Jesus. I've had it with all of you. Jeff, you're 18. Yeah.

21:54 Caller I have a long time listener for Stomach-Claric, actually. Great. I was wondering, I have like long string of things.

22:04 Drew Wait, wait, excuse me. What was that word again? Ejaculatation?

22:06 Ejaculatation.

22:07 Drew Ejaculatation.

22:08 Adam Yeah.

22:09 Drew I want to congratulate you for creating a very colorful A word that really appeals to the ear.

22:17 Adam Yeah.

22:17 Drew Ejaculatation. Yeah.

22:19 Adam Yeah. It's as pleasing to the ears as it is to the palate.

22:23 Drew Yeah. There's a fine bouquet of the word, in fact.

22:25 Adam Yeah.

22:26 Drew It's a great word. Ejaculatation. I get that right?

22:29 Adam Yes, sir.

22:29 Drew Ejaculatation. Stringy stuff.

22:31 Adam Regular Will Rogers. So, that's the stringy stuff that comes out of the end of your penis? Yeah. Yeah.

22:38 Like my wonderful poppers who get a party, you know?

22:40 Adam You're a jackula launcher?

22:42 Caller Yes, sir.

22:43 Adam I never heard a penis call that, but like jizz launcher would be a good name for a penis.

22:49 Caller Little toy soldier with that.

22:50 Adam Write that down, Jeff. Yeah, it's stringy. What about that, Drew? What about consistency?

22:55 Drew It can vary. It's normal to have a lot of variability, to have chunks, to have stringy, to have mucus. It's all good.

23:01 Adam Yeah, I never thought about it too much. I don't question it. I figure it's all good.

23:05 Drew Don't question the fact that 20 after that, we take a break.

23:09 Adam Really?

23:09 Drew Let's do that.

23:10 Adam Oh, Drew. That is good radio, brother. That is a very smooth transition. All right, we will take ourselves a little break. I'm going to get a little coffee. Drew, we're going to kick it up a notch the next one. Get ready for the best damn 20 minutes of this show we've ever laid down after this. All right.

23:30 Caller Loveline will be right back.

23:48 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

24:03 Adam Yep, it is Loveline Kitties. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Next week, we got... Oh, man. What? Well, we got Rock the Vote. I don't know what that is. Carrot Top. And we got the famous Carrot Top. I know what Carrot Top is. Ow! Does Carrot Top have two T's? Oh, you mean is Carrot Top one word?

24:29 Drew No, no.

24:29 Adam I have no idea. And Insane Clown Posse will be in here as well. That's quite an eclectic week we have planned. And I'm going to argue with the Rock the Vote people because as you know, I'm against people voting. I only want a handful of smart people voting. And I don't believe we should try to talk young stoners into voting, which is basically what Rock the Vote is. It's basically saying, hey, you apathetic idiots who don't feel like voting, vote anyway and vote often. Nate, you're 25.

25:00 Caller I am.

25:01 Adam What's up?

25:01 Caller I had my nipple removed after I had it pierced a few years ago.

25:06 Drew Got infected?

25:08 Caller I had, well, it got an epidural inclusion cyst.

25:11 Caller Oh, wow.

25:12 Caller Ouch.

25:13 Caller Yeah.

25:13 Drew Big.

25:14 Caller Big. Well, I don't have a nipple anymore.

25:16 Adam That's a big deal?

25:17 Drew It's a big growth just as it started growing and growing. They got to take it out. Ouch!

25:21 Adam Well, it didn't keep growing. I had to have my nipple removed, have it pierce, and then put it back on. Put it back on. Yeah.

25:27 Drew Well, some of these days, somebody's got to compile a, so not a compendium so much, but a study of all the side effects, the effects.

25:36 Adam So you can make a coffee table book out of it and show it to your kids?

25:39 Drew No, listen, we do this in medicine all the time. I don't understand why we don't do it with this procedure. We do it every other procedure known to mankind. What are the adverse outcomes? What are the probabilities? Because this one somehow people are getting sliced up and we just sit back and let it happen without informing people or helping them make decisions about whether or not they want to take these risks.

25:57 Adam Did you really have your whole nipple removed, Nate?

25:59 Caller Well, I have the brown spot. I don't have the tip anymore.

26:02 Adam That's fine. And listen, don't, you know...

26:05 Caller Oh, I'm never going to do it again.

26:06 Adam I don't know. I mean, when people ask what happened, you tell them, NAMM. Oh, yeah. You don't tell them you had a hoop go bad.

26:13 Drew Did we see a Rottweiler or something?

26:14 Adam Yeah. Go, yeah. Go, alligator.

26:17 Drew Alligator. Yeah, I like that.

26:18 Caller I was just wondering how often that kind of thing happens.

26:20 Drew Well, that's my point. That's my point. We don't know. And I bet this complications and piercings are better. Fairly common.

26:29 Adam All right. Hey, how's it? You have sensitivity in it, Nate?

26:32 Caller Yeah, it hurts like hell.

26:33 Adam Okay. Well, that's not a great thing, is it?

26:36 Caller No, no, no.

26:37 Caller Well, I just got the stitches out.

26:38 Adam Oh, I see. All right. But do they say it'll be fine?

26:41 Caller That's what they say.

26:42 Adam Because, you know, I like a little nipple play. Oh, you know, personally. Not for me, though. Yeah. Well, I'm one of the few gents secure enough with his masculinity to talk openly about a little nipple play. I don't mind that.

26:55 Drew Yeah, you just it's not about masculinity or not. It's about being disgusting.

27:01 Adam Why not? If it's a rise in the zone on a woman, why can't it be a rise in the zone on a man? You know what I'm saying?

27:06 Drew Yeah, but it's not a woman.

27:09 Adam If I had a clitoris, would it be all right to talk about liking it stimulated?

27:13 Drew Yeah, it would be okay.

27:14 Caller Okay.

27:15 Drew We can give you one of those.

27:16 Adam Can you?

27:17 Drew We can just shave down the penis.

27:19 Adam Shave down?

27:20 Drew Yeah. Well, you have to build it up a little bit in your case. Tack it down anyway.

27:24 Adam I see. Garrett?

27:25 Caller Oh, what? Yeah.

27:27 Adam You're 15.

27:27 Caller Yeah, I am.

27:28 Adam What's up?

27:29 Caller Adam Corolla, you are my role model.

27:31 Adam Thank you.

27:32 Caller No, you have no idea. I worship you.

27:34 Adam Really?

27:35 Caller That's scary. I swear.

27:37 Adam Why do you worship me?

27:39 Caller Oh, everybody says, like when I was in sixth grade, everybody said, you are just like Adam Corolla. And so that's how I started listening to your show because I wanted to know who this Adam Corolla was. I worship you. You're just like, just like me.

27:52 Adam Thank you. But you know, the reality is, Garrett, I'm no better than any of our listeners. I'm a common man of the people who's literally a millionaire and lives up on a hill.

28:03 Drew And complains.

28:04 Adam And complains all the time. Other than that, I'm no different than anyone else.

28:09 Caller Oh, I wish I had your job. You complain for money.

28:12 Adam It's great.

28:13 Caller All right.

28:14 Adam It's great. I know.

28:17 Caller I love you. Anyways.

28:18 Wow, he really does.

28:20 Caller I was wondering if...

28:22 Drew You're gay.

28:23 Caller What?

28:24 Drew Nothing. What's up?

28:25 Caller I was wondering if smoking the weed would affect my bone infection.

28:29 Drew What kind of bone infection do you have?

28:30 Caller I have osteomyelitis.

28:33 Drew Osteomyelitis?

28:34 Caller Osteo. Where? In my trochanter, in my right leg.

28:38 Drew In your hip? How did you get it there?

28:40 Caller Skateboarding. Oh, man.

28:42 Drew You get a puncture in there or something?

28:44 Caller Yeah.

28:44 Drew Is it chronic osteo or acute osteo?

28:47 Adam Acute. Does the puncture have to get to the bone? Yeah. Oh, boy. Just because it's going to hurt my teeth.

28:55 Drew What was it?

28:55 Adam What went into you?

28:57 Caller I landed on a metal piece of rebar.

29:00 Adam Oh, what number? Yeah. Metal rebar.

29:05 Yeah.

29:05 Caller It was at the new high school over there building.

29:07 Drew Did you fracture the bone too?

29:09 No.

29:10 Adam And the rebar. And by the way, it was rebar.

29:14 Caller Yeah.

29:15 Adam Yeah, because rebar ain't a sword. Rebar, if it's the kind of rebar that was being used for, you know, some foundation work or something, it's probably, you know, number four, it's like a half inch thick. And it's essentially is wide, is, you know, a big magic marker.

29:31 Drew Yeah.

29:31 Adam So to get that to go through you, you get, it takes some force.

29:35 Wow.

29:36 Adam Nice.

29:36 Caller Yeah, I noticed it.

29:37 Drew How long you've been on antibiotics?

29:39 Caller Um, I'm going into my sixth week.

29:41 Drew Yeah. You on Cipro or something like that?

29:43 Caller Um, no, I don't remember.

29:45 Drew You take IV antibiotics or you take oral antibiotics?

29:48 Caller I have to inject it.

29:49 Drew Are you taking like vancomycin?

29:52 Caller No, it smells like pee.

29:53 Adam Ah.

29:54 Drew Injecting pee. Okay.

29:55 Adam You're right. I see. Maybe they got all mixed up at the lab. Hey, Garret.

29:58 Drew Oxacillin?

29:59 Adam Uh, you know what got you into trouble, don't you? You were hot dogging again.

30:04 Caller Yeah, probably.

30:05 Adam Yeah. So take it easy. And don't get stoned and ride your skateboard.

30:09 Caller Yeah, it's a stupid thing.

30:10 Drew No one ever does that. But, uh, listen, it pops. Well, even I'm not retarded enough to say that.

30:16 Adam I'm the guy's god. Come on.

30:18 Drew Yeah. But, Garret, the smoke is not going to... It can impact healing a little bit. Cigarette smoking has been well documented to impair healing. To my knowledge, it's never been studied in pop, but I bet you it could, but it's not known to.

30:31 Adam Oh, rebar going through. And that part of the thigh is pretty meaty.

30:36 Drew I mean, he got... This is where he got... The trochanter is right here.

30:39 Adam Right.

30:39 Drew This thing that sticks out there.

30:40 Adam Drew's pointing at his anus, by the way. Drew, do you have to actually put your finger in your pants? I see. So, are you saying... You're saying... So, the bone on the hip. Just below the hip.

30:50 Drew No, no. Where?

30:52 Adam Yeah. Is it near my nipple? Because as you know, I like a little nipple play.

30:57 Drew Little twist. It's...

30:59 Adam Oh, Jesus, Drew. This thing, that. Oh, that. Oh, okay. So, it didn't go through too much meat to get there.

31:05 Okay.

31:07 Adam Drew, it's that sort of lump... What would it be?

31:10 Drew What women complain about?

31:12 Adam The big hips on women, yes.

31:14 Caller Oh, I don't know.

31:15 Adam Andrew?

31:16 Caller Yeah?

31:17 Adam What's up?

31:18 Caller Well, I have a third ball, I think.

31:23 Drew How long have you had that?

31:25 Caller I think all my life, but I just noticed it.

31:27 Drew Well, it can be a hernia, it can be a cyst, it can be various things. It's something that you need to talk to. It can be just the epididymis.

31:35 Adam Wait a minute. Why would you just notice it if you had it your whole life?

31:38 Caller Well, I got used to it. You know, I...

31:41 Drew So, you noticed it when you were three and you forgot about it?

31:45 Caller Well, yeah, I think so.

31:47 Drew No, you don't know. It's probably something new.

31:50 Adam Or it's bogus.

31:51 Caller Yeah, but it's all squishy and everything.

31:54 Drew Yeah, it's probably a cyst.

31:55 Adam So, what should you do?

31:56 Drew Let the doctor take a look at it.

31:58 Adam Okay?

31:59 Caller Okay.

32:00 Adam You ever do that, Drew? You walk out to your car, you notice a scratch on it, and you go, hey, when did that, that must just happen? And then you go, that could have happened weeks ago. And you go, why did I just notice it?

32:10 Drew Yeah.

32:11 Adam You ever think that way?

32:12 Caller Yeah.

32:14 Adam Drew had, basically, someone took a ball peen hammer to the hood of his car about two years ago.

32:19 Drew Yeah, one big pow.

32:21 Adam One big, yeah, I mean, it's a crease.

32:23 Drew Yeah.

32:24 Adam Half hood, half fender.

32:25 Drew Yeah.

32:26 Adam Right in the front of the hood there. It's real ugly. You don't want to fix that, huh, Drew?

32:32 Drew My shirt, I'm on the ropes. I have to wait a couple of years past.

32:36 Adam Really? Yeah. Why are you on the ropes? If you're speeding tickets? Oh, that's DUIs.

32:41 Drew A couple of accidents.

32:41 Adam Oh, the vehicular manslaughter?

32:42 Drew A couple of accidents. A couple of...

32:44 Adam Oh, oh, oh, pulling the drugs off of the border? Well, which one was it?

32:48 Drew A couple of accidents and a couple of tickets.

32:49 Adam Yeah, but you got in that one accident wasn't even your fault.

32:52 Drew That doesn't matter. That year I was like in three accidents.

32:56 Adam You're driving down the road and someone clips you.

32:58 Drew Doesn't matter.

32:59 Adam Why?

32:59 Drew It's sort of actuarial. I just don't care. I don't like it. You're the kind of person that gets in accidents, period.

33:04 Adam I don't want to go off too crazy here, but let me just say one thing about insurance companies. You drive around for five years, you don't get a ticket, you pay them and then you get a ticket and then they want to raise your rates. I don't like that. That doesn't make sense to me. Do they have to raise it every time you talk to them? Every time you come in contact with them? And then it becomes like a form of blackmail. People go, why don't you get your insurance? No, no, no, no, no. Don't say nothing. Well, why don't you have your insu... No, no, no, don't let them know. I go, why do you have them? Well, you gotta have insurance. Yeah, but why do you have insurance if you can't utilize them? I mean, you pay them every month, right? Drew, go get that thing fixed out of your own pocket. I could get a guy to fix that.

33:45 Caller I get a guy to fix that thing for...

33:47 Adam I get a guy to fix it for 400 bucks.

33:49 Drew Really? I would do it, but here's the other thing. I don't trust that I would be able to know who could do it properly.

33:54 Adam I could set you up.

33:55 Drew I'll do it. Because I would take to the dealer.

33:59 Adam No. You go to the dealer to fix anything on a BMW. $15. $2500 plus sodomy.

34:07 Drew Oh my God.

34:08 Adam Yes. Would you like your sodomy out in the service port or you want it in the customer lounge? Most people prefer. It's a little cold outside. Why don't you come in the lounge? Now bend over. Are you kidding? They'll rape you over there. Okay.

34:20 Drew If your friend can do it, I'll do it.

34:21 Adam No one go to the dealer for anything. Yeah. You have one of these.

34:23 Drew Whatever your car serviced.

34:25 Adam Oh, you go there. Yeah, you go there because it's free. At least a thing. But you don't have the dents pulled out. I got my car dent and it was in the garage. Hey, you want to hear satisfaction? You pull into your garage at night, your car doesn't have a dent in it, you go down the next morning to get your car out of the garage. Your garage, not your apartment's garage, your garage with no one else sharing your garage, you go out there the next day, it's got a big gouge in the side of it. And then you got a couple of guys working on your house just going, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, okay. I guess I woke up in the middle of the night, drove it around, got it dented up and then drove it back into the garage.

35:00 Drew I mean, talk- I mean, the little boy next door ran over and scratched it.

35:03 Adam Talk about rape.

35:05 Caller You get in the garage while you're home.

35:09 Drew Did you continue to employ those guys after that story?

35:12 Adam Yes. Amber?

35:14 Caller Yeah.

35:14 Adam I got a soft spot in my heart and I want to continue abusing them. You're 18, what's up?

35:19 Caller Yeah. I've been masturbating ever since I was in kindergarten.

35:24 Drew Were you sexually abused?

35:26 Caller No, nothing, not at all. In my whole family, we're four kids and I am the only girl that's just sex-obsessed, basically.

35:37 Drew Interesting. Are you actually doing anything? Are you having sex with lots of guys?

35:41 Caller Not lots. I'm 18.

35:43 Caller I lost my virginity when I was 16.

35:46 Drew All right, listen, to be preoccupied about sex is different than having a lot of sex with a lot of different people. It means entirely different things.

35:53 Caller Like you mean fantasizing?

35:55 Drew Fantasizing and being preoccupied is normal. They were showing recently, I just read a study that showed that there is a great deal of variability in women's experiences in what you're describing.

36:08 Adam I've whacked off to the same study.

36:10 Drew But it showed that the degree to which young women are thinking about sex, preoccupied about sex, sexual, is determined by the circulating testosterone levels, androgen levels.

36:21 Adam We were talking about this last night. Male hormones, yeah.

36:23 Drew But it just means your biology is such that that's you.

36:26 Adam I think women do plenty of fantasizing about it, whereas guys, they do planning. You know what I mean?

36:32 Drew Yeah, but men like have to look. Women don't have to look.

36:36 Adam Right.

36:37 Drew They do fantasizing. Men have to like see.

36:40 Adam Okay, so would you say then that women fantasize more about sex than men because men aren't fantasizing about sex until they can get in front of VCR?

36:49 Drew Yes.

36:49 Adam In which case they're not fantasizing about sex. They're just sort of absorbing sex?

36:54 Drew Yeah, I think men have sort of cue triggered sexual. Every girl they see triggers a response. But if they're sitting in a dark room and their hands are not available to them.

37:06 Caller I'm so transparent too.

37:08 Adam I'm such a mess. I'll sit home and I swear to Christ, it'll be 1.30 in the morning, I'll go okay.

37:14 Caller I'm tired.

37:14 Adam I'm going to bed. Yeah, I didn't whack out tonight. I'm going to bed. I don't care. I'm tired. I got a couple glasses of wine in me. Or listen, I'm not dying in my sleep. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm 36 years old. I got no problem. Let me just turn the TV set off and then boom. Boys, you asked for it. You got it.

37:32 Caller Girls gone wild.

37:34 Adam Girls unknowing, drunk and out of control like Havasu. And I'm like, I start watching that commercial. That's like, all right. Well, just a quick one before I go to bed.

37:45 Caller I mean, that's it. It's like trigger.

37:50 Drew It's a cartoon.

37:51 Adam It was down in my garage tonight. I was cleaning up my garage. What the hell was that? I was cleaning out my garage. I was just straightening up some papers and moving some tools around and stuff. I also pulled a piece of mail out, tore open some cellophane. Got a little present from Larry Flynn. Little busty issue. Started thumbing through that down in the garage. I was like, OK, got to hit on up. See, it's like I wasn't sitting around fantasizing about women before that.

38:24 Drew Q triggered.

38:24 Adam It's not even my fault.

38:26 Drew It's the environment.

38:27 Adam I blame Larry Flynn and the television and Western civilization and my parents and the hamper. But it's not me. I'll tell you that right now.

38:38 Drew Break, break, break.

38:38 Adam We're going to take a break?

38:39 Drew Yeah.

38:40 Adam You're saying break, break, break or just break?

38:41 Drew Break, break, break.

38:44 Adam You act like I'm in a truck and we're on a mountain road or something with the break, break, break. Just give me the one break. All right. Josh is 16 and wants to know if herpes can be transmitted through spit. No. Let's come up with a better one than that. Oh, they're all bad. All right. Well, oh no. Anderson is the only guy here. Anderson is the show's engineer. He's sliding, like I said, back and forth on his chair from screening the calls to engineering the show to bleeping out all you F'ers who use the entire F word. So he really has his work cut out for him tonight. So we'll take a little break. All right. When we come back, we'll speak to Ryan. He's 25, has major pain during sex. It's caused him to go limp and shut down suddenly. We'll get to the bottom of that after this.

39:33 Hello.

39:34 Caller This is Loveline.

39:35 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

39:45 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7.

40:02 Yeah, Loveline, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

40:08 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, that is my friend and partner. Dr. Drew, he can be your friend, too, if you call 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, that's good radio, huh, Drew? Great radio. That's fantastic radio, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, let's keep the good radio train rolling tonight. What do you say, buddy? Hop on the phones, take some calls, help some people. Yes, indeed, indeed. Let's start it off by talking to Ryan. Ryan?

40:36 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

40:37 Adam From west of the Rockies.

40:39 Caller That's right, Commerce, California.

40:41 Adam What do you know? I had no idea where you're calling from. You're calling from Commerce?

40:46 Caller Yeah, and guess what? I'm white.

40:49 Adam That place, that Commerce is a real dump, isn't it?

40:52 Caller It's not too bad as long as you live in the right neighborhood.

40:55 Adam All right.

40:55 Drew What's up, Ryan?

40:56 Caller Well, I was having sex with my girlfriend the other day, and while I was pushing in, I got a really sharp pain in my penis.

41:03 Drew Your penis?

41:04 Caller And so I said, look, I got to stop. So I pulled out and went to the bathroom, see if I had to pee. And it whenever I touched it, even the lightest touch, it would be, it would send out like a really sharp pain up it.

41:20 Adam Up your penis.

41:21 Caller Yeah. Like the whole thing would do just, I couldn't even touch it. It would be like too, too painful to touch.

41:28 Drew And it started at the point you were pushing in.

41:30 Caller Yeah.

41:31 Drew And how long before it went away?

41:33 Caller Well, I actually went pee and then I shook it. And then it went away after I shook it.

41:41 Adam Maybe had something stuck up in there. BBP, something like that. Raisin. So does it feel good now?

41:50 Caller It's fine now. I mean, I haven't had sex since, but I mean.

41:53 Adam Have you masturbated?

41:54 Drew Yes.

41:55 Adam Good man.

41:56 Drew Everything worked okay.

41:57 Caller Yeah.

41:58 Adam All right.

41:58 Drew It's very strange. I wonder if there's a stone or something. I mean, there are various things that can happen like that.

42:02 Adam But you think you could have passed a stone? Yeah. How do you get them kidney stones? I hear those are painful.

42:07 Drew Well, it might have been a bladder stone or even a prostate stone. There are other ones. The kidney stones form around the sunny uricate crystal. Sure. The most common one is calcium oxalate. It forms crystals around the uricate.

42:20 Adam The uricate crystal, that's what powered the enterprise in Star Trek, right?

42:24 Drew Dilithium crystals.

42:25 Oh, true.

42:27 Adam You really just indicted yourself by knowing that answer. Did you watch Star Trek growing up?

42:33 Drew A little bit. Not big time.

42:34 Adam A little bit means a heap, a heap. Josh?

42:39 Caller Yeah.

42:40 Drew Hello? I watched it in the reruns. I never watched it in the original.

42:44 Adam No one did. Josh, you're 16.

42:46 Caller What's up? Hi.

42:47 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to know if herpes could be transmitted through spit to the genital area?

42:54 Drew Absolutely.

42:55 It can?

42:56 Drew If somebody were having a big old outbreak and then it's in the fluid, that's how it's transmitted.

43:01 Adam Who's spitting on your dork?

43:03 Oh, no.

43:03 Caller I was just wondering because my friend said he masturbates with his spit and I was wondering if he could do it.

43:09 Drew Oh, no. That's auto-inoculation. It has to come from somebody else.

43:12 Adam You can't do it yourself?

43:13 Drew It's hard to auto-inoculate. Nobody knows why.

43:15 Adam Oh, well, hold on a second. You mean if you have herpes of the mouth and you spit on your hand, you can't...

43:23 Drew You could, but you're not as likely to.

43:26 Adam I tell those guys you use the spit for lubrication really on it. That's like a Ted Kaczynski type move. That's a real mountain man move. Jesus Christ, where are you living that you can't get your hands on some butter or some lotion? That is so low rent. That's a real white trash move that's spit on the hand.

43:44 Drew Oh, yeah.

43:44 Adam Now, I'll do a little... I'll do a little Raleigh fingers type, you know, I'll do a little pitcher on the mound type move. You know what I mean?

43:51 Drew That's just for sort of effect.

43:54 Adam Yeah.

43:54 Drew Yeah, you're not really relying on anything.

43:57 Adam I'll lick my finger like a high roller counting his money at Vegas near the pit boss. You know what I'm saying? But you're right. That's just for effect. It's not really for lubrication. It makes me feel like I'm doing something important. Jason?

44:14 Caller Hello.

44:14 Adam You're 20. What's up?

44:16 Caller Well, for as long as I can remember, I've had some trouble urinating.

44:22 Drew What does that mean? Trouble urinating?

44:25 Caller Well, the thing is that it was even before I had sex.

44:31 Drew What do you mean by trouble urinating?

44:33 Caller Okay. Well, when I urinate, from time to time, I have like a sensation, like a burning sensation. But I'm trying to rule out like a STD because like-

44:46 Drew Stop. Stop. Stop.

44:48 Caller Okay.

44:50 Drew So far, you haven't told me about trouble urinating. You're talking about every little burning every so often?

44:55 Caller Yeah. And also-

44:56 Drew That's normal. That's normal. Everybody gets a little burning now and then. Okay.

45:00 Caller Also, from time to time also, it-

45:04 Drew Jason, do you have other obsessive thoughts and rituals and things?

45:07 Adam Like not being able to speak on the radio?

45:10 Caller Well, I'm a little nervous right now.

45:11 Drew But you have other sort of obsessions and things and preoccupy about stuff?

45:15 Caller No.

45:16 Caller All right. Well, anyways, back to the point. I'm sorry holding you guys.

45:20 Adam That's all right. Go ahead.

45:22 Caller I also have trouble with the pressure.

45:24 Caller I hear these guys go to the bathroom and it sounds like they're pouring water into the toilet or whatever. Me, it's like a slow trickle.

45:32 Drew Well, you can have your neurologist take a look at it and see if that's just your perception, if in fact that's really what's occurring. Lose lift weights or anything like that?

45:40 Caller No.

45:40 Drew Take any medications?

45:42 Caller No.

45:43 Drew Have any medical problems?

45:45 Caller Not that I know of. Okay.

45:46 Drew It's probably your own sort of preoccupation because you sound awfully, awfully preoccupied about this stuff.

45:53 Adam It is true. Sometimes you hit the bathroom at the airport and it sounds like the guy's got a 32-ounce coffee cup he's dumping into the toilet.

46:00 Drew I had a patient who's always talking about it sounding like a horse urinating on a flat rock.

46:06 Wow.

46:07 Drew Thanks for the commentary.

46:09 Adam Meanwhile, I'm coming out like wiper spray. I'm just sitting there. I mean, I can be camped at the toilet for hours trying to take a leak. But some of these guys, it's like, you know, some guys take a leak like they're one of these firefighting supertanker planes. You know, they just swoop over the toilet, drop a big load of urine and swoop on back and catch a flight. Not me. I'm standing there working. I earn my urine. I don't take the easy way out.

46:34 Drew And you get that, ugh, at the end.

46:36 Adam I get that little shiver. But I only get the little shiver if I'm in public. I don't get it when I'm alone.

46:41 Drew You keep doing it for me.

46:42 Adam I know.

46:43 Drew Scares me.

46:45 Adam Christina?

46:46 Caller Hi.

46:47 Adam You're 19. What's up?

46:49 Caller I just wanted to know what the basic things about potluck is. How bad is it for you if you do it?

46:56 Adam You're fine.

46:57 Caller Pretty regularly, but not a lot. Like, not every day.

47:00 Adam You're fine.

47:01 Drew Here's the deal. If you're, wait, wait, let me tell you. If you're still developing, there's evidence that it can impair your brand's development if you're using it even moderately, which means about what you're doing. If you're, if you're exposed to POD mildly once a week or once twice a month, something like that, probably no worse than alcohol. Okay.

47:21 Adam Let me, let me.

47:22 Drew Problem is for a subset of people with a family history of alcoholism, it can be profoundly addictive, profoundly.

47:28 Adam All right. That ain't you. POD is not good and it's, it's not evil. It's just sort of is. It's like everything else.

47:37 Caller So what, but what if I did do it like every day? What are those kinds of?

47:40 Drew Then you're gonna need treatment to stop because you don't, you don't stop smoking at that level. It works on the reward system that would exactly the same way that other addictive opiate drugs do. And it's a very, it's a common addiction. I treat it virtually every day at my drug unit. And that's a very difficult one to stop.

47:58 Caller Like what are like the physical things?

47:59 Adam Oh, shut up. Are you smoking every day?

48:02 Caller Well, I just can say, cause I know people that do smoke like every day, pretty much every day. But for me, myself, I don't do it as much. But I just am concerned. I just want to know.

48:11 Drew Chronic bronchitis for sure. Maybe emphysema, maybe heart disease, maybe cancer.

48:17 Adam It makes you stupid if you smoke every day. And it takes all the wind out of your sail. And you're basically what you are when you're depressed. You have difficulty doing things. Most people, most people smoke every day. So just smoke, do you do what I do? You smoke Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and Thursdays, but you never, ever smoke on Tuesdays. Right Drew? We'll be back. Hello, what is it?

48:43 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:54 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz. Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz. KQBC, Seattle.

49:19 Adam Yeah.

49:21 Caller Loveline.

49:22 Adam I'm Adam. That is Drew. You're you. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And let's get back to the phones. Megan, you're 26.

49:34 Caller Yeah.

49:34 Adam What's up?

49:36 Caller Is he?

49:37 Adam Oh, boy.

49:38 Caller I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.

49:39 Adam What's going on?

49:39 Caller I have a problem. I have been seeing this guy for about a month, and we've been kind of messing around. We hadn't had sex yet. And I tried to give him a blowjob.

49:51 Adam Nice.

49:52 Caller And anyway, I could not stay hard and basically had to masturbate in front of me, which kind of tripped me out.

49:59 Adam Yeah.

50:00 Caller But I thought maybe it was a one-time thing. So I tried again. Same thing. So I recently decided to try to have sex with him, and he couldn't stay hard. And basically, I feel like I'm an observer in this whole thing and I can't do anything for this guy and it's bothering.

50:14 Adam Well, you play an integral part in the whole sexual experience for him. You're the one who dances around with his bra off while he wax off, right?

50:22 Caller I basically feel like I should have popcorn and a soda and watch the whole damn thing because I'm not doing anything.

50:28 Adam What are you doing when he masturbates?

50:30 Caller Well, I'm...

50:32 Drew Staring at him? Yeah.

50:33 Caller It's like tripping out. I don't know.

50:35 Drew What the hell are you doing?

50:36 Adam Are you doing anything? Are you dressed?

50:41 Caller He told me he has a masturbation problem. He says he masturbates like twice a day.

50:45 Adam Yeah.

50:46 Caller And I basically feel like I'm competing with his own hand.

50:49 Adam I see.

50:49 Caller And so I don't know what to do. Like, it's really bothering me because I've never in my life ever had a problem.

50:55 Adam Why don't you pull his hand aside and have a heart to heart with it? What's the guy's name?

51:00 Caller I'm not going to say.

51:01 Drew Why are you hanging out with this guy if it's not working at all?

51:04 Caller Well, I definitely... I mean, it's too bad because I mean, I thought it was too good to be true. He'd come over and just cuddle me. He'd do little things like that.

51:10 Drew Yeah, you know something wrong with the guy.

51:11 Adam There you go, ladies. Either gay or married to his hand.

51:15 Caller That's what everybody's been telling me is they think he's gay.

51:18 Adam No.

51:19 Caller Don't think he's gay.

51:20 Adam I don't think he's gay. I think he's weird. And there's a lot of guys out there who do this.

51:25 Caller But I mean, I just, I like, I mean, I thought, like the first time I thought maybe it's because he was a little drunk, but I mean, like we've been together and he hasn't been drunk and he's still like, I really cannot compete with his hands.

51:35 Drew And I, what does he say? Like, it's not going to work tonight.

51:38 Caller And no, he just finishes himself off.

51:40 Drew I don't ever have, does he, does he penetrate? Do you have sex?

51:44 Caller No, I tried once.

51:44 Drew Yeah.

51:45 Adam He puts his thumb in his ass.

51:48 Caller I tried once and he was inside me for a little bit and then pulled out and like, finish himself off. Like he has done things to me and that's all good. That like in that area, but I basically don't do anything. Like I do nothing.

51:59 Adam Does he go down on you?

52:00 Caller Yes. And it's fine. That part's fine. But then when I try to, you know, like do the same thing for him, I can't do anything.

52:06 Adam Do you have an orgasm?

52:08 Caller I, yeah, I do. Until then I just sit back and I'm like, well, I can't do anything.

52:14 Adam No, but let me just get something straight. When he's masturbating, is he looking at you?

52:20 Caller Yeah.

52:22 Adam Are you touching yourself? Are you naked?

52:24 Caller Yeah, well, I'm usually naked.

52:26 Adam I see. And he's enjoying that.

52:28 Caller Yeah, but it makes me feel like, I feel not important in the situation at all. I might as well be a magazine. I mean, like, I'm not even...

52:36 Adam Okay, first off, don't start knocking magazines. Why do we have to go there, Drew? Why is everyone attacking pornography? No, listen, I know you take this personally.

52:47 Caller I'm really taking it personally.

52:49 Adam I know, I know, and I wouldn't.

52:51 Drew It has nothing to do with you.

52:52 Adam This guy's a little bit tweaked. He's a little bit effed up. On the other hand, he's kind of doing what works for him. I think he enjoys these encounters with you. There's a little different approach to it than a lot of guys would.

53:04 Drew If you just stop masturbating about three days, things would be just fine, probably.

53:08 Caller No, but I told him to. He did for three days, and it was a little harder for a little bit longer, but it was the same thing.

53:16 Adam Now, when he masturbates, does it get hard?

53:19 Caller Yeah.

53:20 Drew Check out his medicine cabinets. He doesn't have any medication.

53:23 Caller I don't think he is. Like I said, we've attempted to have sex once. And I don't consider it sex because neither, I mean, it was like not very long, and we just went left. I mean, like it couldn't stay hard.

53:35 Drew Must be uncomfortable for him too. Think about that.

53:38 Adam Yeah.

53:39 Guest It's just really creepy.

53:40 Caller And I can't figure out if it's me or if it's, I don't know. It's really insulting to me.

53:44 Adam No, it's not. It's not you. You could lose a few pounds, don't get me wrong, but it's not you. It is not you. He would do this with anyone.

53:52 Caller Well, I don't know if I, the thing is, is he's a really nice guy. And I don't know if I want to see him anymore. And I don't know how to bring it up. Saying, well, it's because you jerk off too much. Like that sounds like such a whole show.

54:01 Adam Well, it's not, it's, it's not that though. It's not that. That's part of it. But it's more the guy's mindset.

54:07 Drew Yeah.

54:08 Adam Because he went three days without doing it and still have the same problem.

54:11 Caller Right.

54:12 Drew He's good goofy.

54:14 Adam I think hang with it just a little longer. See if you can break through, see if you can work it out. I get the feeling that guys like this are one good outing away from sort of getting it.

54:24 Drew Breaking through.

54:25 Adam Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm going to go home and kiss my penis. Thank God. Thank you, baby.

54:33 Drew If you could, you'd never come back in here.

54:35 Adam Thank you for not letting me down, humiliating your master that way. Oh, yes. You know, a lot of people say they name their penis. My penis named me. That's how much control it has. Angela.

54:50 Guest Hi.

54:51 Adam You're 41.

54:52 Guest Yes.

54:52 Adam What's up?

54:53 Guest How are you doing?

54:54 Adam Good.

54:54 Guest I just want to say hi to both of you guys.

54:55 You guys are both hot.

54:57 Guest Yeah. Dr. Drew.

54:58 Drew Angela.

54:59 Guest I fantasize about you all the time. And I see you in a robe. You have this real sexy, slinky robe on, silky robe.

55:07 Drew Wow.

55:08 Guest And I fantasize about you. I seen you a long time ago on cable TV and ever since then, I listen to your show every single night.

55:14 Drew Just because of one view.

55:15 Guest And Adam, you're hot.

55:16 Drew One view on cable TV, huh?

55:18 Guest Yeah, it was a while back. And Adam, you're hot.

55:21 Adam Yeah. What am I wearing when you fantasize about me?

55:25 Guest Nothing.

55:26 Adam Nice.

55:26 Guest So big boner. Anyway, I'm 41.

55:29 Adam Big one, huh?

55:30 Guest Uh-huh. I'm 41. I'm laying here in bed and I'm always thinking about you guys. I listen to you guys every single night.

55:36 Adam Yeah. Do we ever do stuff to each other?

55:40 Caller Yeah, we do.

55:42 Adam Yeah.

55:42 Drew No, no. He means Adam and I.

55:43 Adam I mean me and Drew.

55:44 Guest All three of us.

55:46 Adam Yeah, but then do I do stuff to Drew while we're doing stuff?

55:48 Guest No, no, no, no, no, no.

55:50 Drew Oh, I see. She's much more realistic.

55:52 Guest You're just kind of spanking my butt. Anyway.

55:54 Caller Yeah.

55:55 Adam Well, you know why? Because you've been naughty.

55:58 Guest Yeah. I just want you to know something. I was wondering if it's normal to be horny 247 every day?

56:05 Adam Yeah.

56:06 Guest 41?

56:06 Adam Yeah.

56:07 Guest It is?

56:08 Adam Yeah. It's a cruel, cruel joke. God plays on the ladies. Because you weren't like-

56:14 Guest I love it though.

56:15 Adam Yeah. I know. But you weren't this-

56:16 Guest And then the fantasize. You guys talk about fantasize all the time?

56:19 Adam Yeah.

56:19 Guest I do that all the time.

56:20 Adam Yeah.

56:20 Drew But you weren't as bad when you were 16.

56:24 Guest No. I was like from 26 on.

56:26 Drew This is what Adam's talking about.

56:27 Adam Yeah. 26 seems to be about the age.

56:29 Guest Full throttle.

56:30 Drew With a steady increase after the 40s.

56:33 Adam I know. All you ladies that are riding high and mighty now, believe me, the worm will turn one day.

56:38 Guest Oh, I love it. I'm going to keep on going till I die. I love you guys. You guys are hot and I think you guys are great.

56:44 Adam Yeah. Are you employable?

56:46 Guest Yes.

56:47 Adam Where do you work?

56:48 Guest For myself. I don't want to reveal over the...

56:51 Drew What kind of work do you do? What kind of work?

56:53 Adam Strings, beads at home.

56:55 Guest No, no, no drugs. No drugs. Matter of fact, I stay straight. I like sex when I'm straight. I don't have to do any kind of drugs. No pot, nothing.

57:05 Adam Hey, Angela?

57:06 Guest Yes?

57:06 Adam I said strings, beads. I didn't say shoes, no beads.

57:10 Guest No, no, no, no, no.

57:11 Drew I should have thought of some sort of aphorism.

57:13 Guest No, I just thought about you and Dr. Drew.

57:15 Drew What kind of work do you do?

57:15 Adam Yeah, yeah. OK.

57:16 Guest I can't say over the phone.

57:17 Drew But what kind of work?

57:18 Adam Hold on a second. Service. Let me tell you a little something I've learned about people who can't talk about their work. They work at the coin up laundry. Do you understand what I'm saying?

57:29 Drew Hey, Angela's your biggest fan.

57:31 Adam Okay, but find me someone who had a good job that they didn't like talking about. Do you know what I mean?

57:36 Drew Yeah.

57:36 Adam Show me a guy who was a taster at a beer factory that didn't want to discuss that great job.

57:42 Drew Or CEO of Fortune 500 Company.

57:45 Adam Yeah, show me that person. Angela?

57:47 Guest I can't say.

57:48 Drew What kind of work? What kind?

57:50 Guest I could get in trouble.

57:51 Drew Service.

57:52 Adam You work at home.

57:53 Drew Government.

57:54 Adam Who's going to get in trouble?

57:55 Guest Okay, yeah.

57:56 Adam Where's your boss? In the closet?

57:58 Guest Yeah, right. I'll just do it, Andrew. Yeah, at the government. Uh-huh, yeah. Spank me harder. Yeah, sure. Okay. Hello?

58:04 Adam Hey, baby?

58:05 Guest Yeah.

58:06 Adam Do people tell you you're nuts every day?

58:09 Caller Uh-huh.

58:10 Adam I mean, are you on any medication?

58:12 Guest No.

58:13 Adam Really?

58:14 Guest No. I'm just like a naturally fun, crazy person. And I'm full of pep.

58:20 Adam Well, you're having fun, but what about the poor SOBs who have to be around you?

58:24 Guest I don't have them right now.

58:26 Adam I mean people. I'm talking about society. I'm not talking about your man. Come on.

58:29 Drew She's been kind to you.

58:30 Adam All right.

58:31 Guest People like me. I have no problem.

58:32 Adam Really?

58:33 Caller I was abducted in broad daylight.

58:35 Drew Remember that one?

58:36 Adam Yeah. Angela? Are you supposed to be on some medication?

58:42 Guest No.

58:43 Adam Be honest.

58:44 Guest I could be though. What kind would you suggest?

58:48 Adam One of those serotonin reuptake inhibitors, maybe an anti-psychotic medication, perhaps anti-seizure medication. Drew, what do you think?

58:57 Drew Mood stabilizer.

58:58 Adam Mood stabilizer?

59:00 Guest Valium or something, maybe.

59:02 Adam Something.

59:03 Guest But I'm this way all the time though, so.

59:05 Adam Yeah. I bet you have your dark days though.

59:08 Guest Yeah.

59:09 Adam Yeah. All right. Don't call during those days, all right?

59:11 Guest No, I won't. I only call when I'm, you know, you have to turn me on immensely.

59:15 Adam Thank you. You have any kids?

59:16 Guest No. No kids.

59:18 Adam Good girl. Why? Are you infertile?

59:20 Guest No. I just chose not to have any.

59:22 Adam Good.

59:23 Guest Boyfriend now? I love kids. Boyfriend?

59:24 Guest I was married 15 years, but I had left my husband because he was doing drugs, so I'm no longer with him, so.

59:32 Adam Good. All right. Well, you listen to us and you fantasize about us, right?

59:35 Guest Oh, every day.

59:36 Caller Yeah.

59:36 Adam Let's have a little fun. You ready?

59:37 Guest Every night.

59:38 Caller OK.

59:39 Adam Remember that big boner I had? It's out right now.

59:43 Caller Oh, boy.

59:44 Adam Yeah. I'm coming at you, baby.

59:46 Guest Oh, boy.

59:46 Adam Turn over.

59:46 Guest I love you guys.

59:47 Adam I'm going to slap your ass.

59:49 Guest I'm going to call you guys again.

59:50 Adam Please do.

59:51 Guest I love you.

59:51 Adam All right.

59:52 Guest Bye bye.

59:53 Adam All right.

59:53 Caller Yikes.

59:59 Adam Why is everyone who loves us nuts, Drew? You understand that? We got two callers, nuts and sleeping.

1:00:08 Drew It's nuts and super and stupor.

1:00:10 Adam Man, was she nutty. Kenny?

1:00:12 Guest Yeah.

1:00:13 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:00:14 Caller What's up, dude?

1:00:16 Guest I just like to say, Adam, you and Dr. Drew should be kings.

1:00:20 Adam Thank you.

1:00:21 Guest And the only reason Dr. Drew gets to be king is to keep you in line, Adam.

1:00:25 Caller That's what he's good for.

1:00:26 Adam All right. That's about all he's good for.

1:00:28 Guest Okay.

1:00:28 Drew What's going on?

1:00:29 Adam Oh, and doing things like drawing me a bath.

1:00:31 Guest Yeah, he could do stuff like that.

1:00:32 Adam And cupping my sack when I urinate and things like that. All right. What's up, Kenny?

1:00:38 Guest I just, one of my balls is kind of bigger than the other one. And I tend not to get stuff like that. I don't get sick ever.

1:00:46 Adam Yeah. Hey, I got news for you. You're 15.

1:00:49 Guest Yeah, I know.

1:00:49 Adam Give it time.

1:00:51 Guest And I just wondered if, like, because I just noticed it, and I just wondered, like, what kind of cancers and stuff it could be.

1:01:00 Drew No, I don't think it's cancer. But unless you can really feel something hard inside the sack, then you can get testicular cancers. But testing is going to be one bigger than the other. You can get cysts in there. And sometimes they just position differently. They flip around. One makes one makes one look better. Bigger.

1:01:15 Adam Really?

1:01:15 Drew Yeah.

1:01:16 Adam All right. So what should you do?

1:01:19 Drew I'm tired of saying, you know, go to see a doctor.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah, because why call this show?

1:01:23 Drew Yeah.

1:01:23 Adam Well, but what should he do?

1:01:25 Drew That's what he should do.

1:01:25 All right. You need to go to the doctor and get checked out.

1:01:31 Adam Rachel.

1:01:32 Drew Yeah.

1:01:32 Adam You're 18.

1:01:33 Drew Yeah.

1:01:33 Adam What's up?

1:01:34 Caller Well, I've been with my boyfriend for two years and a lot of times when we're having sex, I feel like I'm being violated. I feel like like I'm being raped.

1:01:45 Drew Have you ever been raped before?

1:01:46 Caller No.

1:01:47 Drew That's just the way he makes you feel?

1:01:49 Caller Yeah, sometimes.

1:01:50 Caller Not all the time, but sometimes.

1:01:52 Drew What does he precisely does he do to make you feel that way?

1:01:55 Adam Binds her feet with duct tape.

1:01:57 Drew I could see that would feel that way.

1:01:58 Caller We're just having sex. I mean.

1:02:01 Drew So nothing unusual, nothing in his behavior or his attitude.

1:02:03 Caller No.

1:02:06 Adam Yeah, I have the same problem with the government, Drew. What do you think?

1:02:08 Drew Yeah, but they are raping you.

1:02:09 Adam Oh, yeah, that's right. Hey, Rachel, Uh-huh. Why do you think you would feel like you're being raped when you weren't being raped and you've never been raped before?

1:02:19 Caller I don't know. I just get I feel really uncomfortable and I just feel like I don't I don't want him there. I want him away. And yeah.

1:02:29 Adam You're 18. You sound like a little girl.

1:02:31 Caller Yeah.

1:02:32 Adam What's up? When did you lose your virginity?

1:02:34 Caller Sixteen.

1:02:36 Drew Same guy?

1:02:37 Caller Yeah.

1:02:37 Adam Nothing before that?

1:02:38 Caller No.

1:02:39 Adam Your dad an alcoholic?

1:02:41 No.

1:02:43 Adam No. Nothing?

1:02:45 Caller Well, he's an asshole, but he's not not right.

1:02:47 Adam That's better.

1:02:48 Drew We go.

1:02:48 Adam He ever do anything ever beat on you or anything?

1:02:51 Caller Yeah.

1:02:51 Drew Yeah.

1:02:52 Adam He did. All right. Anything else?

1:02:55 Caller I don't know.

1:02:56 Adam A little sexual abuse, perhaps a little sprinkling. My dad gave me sprinkling sexual perfectly normal. Perfectly.

1:03:04 Drew So is this guy you're with now sort of an asshole?

1:03:06 Caller No, he's not. He's a really nice guy. That's why I feel really bad because he really tries and he's really patient. I just can't.

1:03:13 Drew Well, maybe that's the problem that having somebody genuinely available to you is uncomfortable.

1:03:17 Adam What kind of sexual abuse did your dad perpetrate on you?

1:03:20 Caller Um, I was small. I don't remember a lot of it. Really.

1:03:24 Adam Yeah.

1:03:25 Caller I just have snatches of things that just don't really seem right.

1:03:30 Adam Snatches of things? Like when you close your eyes, you see a snatch of things?

1:03:35 Caller Well, I mean, I just remember being small and laying with him like naked. I don't remember him actually touching me and stuff.

1:03:43 Adam Yeah. But you think you were sexually abused?

1:03:45 Caller Well, I know another person that did. It wasn't my dad, though.

1:03:49 Adam The sexually abused you.

1:03:50 Caller Yeah.

1:03:51 Adam How old was this?

1:03:52 Caller Um, I was probably in about second grade.

1:03:55 Drew Who was it?

1:03:56 Caller It was, uh, the grandfather of one of our babysitters.

1:03:59 Adam Oh, so younger, Jen. And, uh, wouldn't you call that right?

1:04:04 Caller Um, I don't know, I guess.

1:04:07 Drew All right.

1:04:07 Adam Well, there you go. I think that's it. Drew.

1:04:11 Drew Yeah.

1:04:11 Adam Please stop using my mic cord. But you can't. As taffy. Why? Because I break wind in this place and the mic goes on the fritz. You yanking on that thing means the mic's going to go down. No, that was shut up, Anderson. Hey, Rachel, you got to get a little therapy, baby.

1:04:29 Drew Okay. It's hard to know whether it's just that...

1:04:33 Adam Well, listen, the grandfather of your babysitter molests you when you're six or seven years old. You got to work that out.

1:04:40 Drew But she's struggling with what is it about this current relationship that's not working for her.

1:04:44 Adam Well, it's that she's in it.

1:04:45 Drew Yeah, maybe too available. She may not like the vulnerability.

1:04:48 Adam She's in it. That's why it's not working.

1:04:51 Caller I mean, every other aspect is okay but that.

1:04:53 Adam I know, but you understand you had your sexual antenna kind of bent at an early age with your dad and your babysitter's grandfather and that experience growing up.

1:05:03 Caller Yeah.

1:05:04 Adam You got to take care of that. You have to sort that out so that you can enjoy your relationship.

1:05:09 Caller Okay.

1:05:10 Adam Are you going to do that?

1:05:12 Caller Yeah.

1:05:12 Adam What are you going to do?

1:05:13 Caller I don't know.

1:05:14 Adam Fantastic. That's a plan. You need to look into it. Talk to a counselor.

1:05:21 Caller Okay.

1:05:21 Adam That kind of thing.

1:05:22 Caller Okay.

1:05:23 Adam You understand?

1:05:24 Okay.

1:05:26 Adam Of course, she feels like she's being raped by her boyfriend because she got raped by some old man when she was seven.

1:05:30 Yeah.

1:05:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Why is that so hard to figure out?

1:05:32 No. Right.

1:05:33 Adam I understand. And boy, I was like, you ever get raped? No. Anything like that? No.

1:05:37 Drew Never.

1:05:37 Adam Never? No. Oh, gee, we're stumped. Why does it feel like you're getting raped by your...

1:05:43 Drew Where's Debbi? Is he an asshole? Oh, total asshole. No, he's an alcoholic. No.

1:05:46 Adam Asshole.

1:05:47 Caller Asshole.

1:05:48 Caller Asshole.

1:05:49 Adam Liz?

1:05:50 Caller Yes?

1:05:50 Adam Are you 21?

1:05:51 Caller Oh, hi, Drew. Hi.

1:05:54 Caller I mean, that's Drew. I'm sorry. Okay. Well, I have like two quick questions, kind of. The one's more important than the other.

1:06:03 Adam Are you drunk?

1:06:04 Caller No.

1:06:04 Adam Okay.

1:06:05 Caller I just like wasn't knowing when I was gonna come on because I was hearing the other conversation spacing out.

1:06:10 Adam Okay, Debbi.

1:06:11 Caller But, okay, I pretty much... I've gotten my period regularly for like since I started you know, I was like probably like 12 and since 15 I've been getting it for like three days. It'll last three days and that's about the longest. But recently like the past maybe year or so, it's been like it'll be going on for two days but then all of a sudden it'll stop and I'll go, oh cool, it's over. But then it'll come back like a day and a half later. I don't understand why because I'll say to my boyfriend, it's over and then when we're having sex after we're done or whatever, it comes pouring out and I don't know, it just totally freaks me out because I'll think it's done.

1:06:58 Drew Well, sex can stimulate bleeding so it may have actually been done but the fact that you're having sex a couple of times.

1:07:04 Adam Liz sounds like she's nine.

1:07:06 Caller No, I'm 21.

1:07:07 Adam Oh, you're 21. You're not nine?

1:07:08 Caller No.

1:07:09 Adam Okay, I thought you were nine.

1:07:10 Caller No.

1:07:11 Adam Yeah, it's as it sounds like.

1:07:13 Caller Yeah. Could it be because I usually get cramps maybe like four days before, maybe five days before and I'll take excedrin Right. or some kind of like pamperin one day like stopped it for like two days and then it came back and I thought it might be that but No.

1:07:31 Adam Pamperin stops?

1:07:33 Caller No.

1:07:33 Adam Your menstrual flow? I mean, you got to shove the box up there, right?

1:07:37 Caller No.

1:07:39 Caller No, I take when you know what you take on it, what it calls for.

1:07:44 Adam Calls for it, yes.

1:07:44 Caller Two pills a day or something like that.

1:07:46 Adam Hey, Liz. Are you in junior college?

1:07:50 Caller Yeah.

1:07:50 Adam Yeah. Yeah, baby.

1:07:53 Caller Why?

1:07:53 Adam Yes, you are. I can hear junior college. I smell junior college on you.

1:07:58 Caller Why is that?

1:08:00 Adam It's just a, you know, it's a little, you know how you know, a Spider-Man had that spidey sense that would tingle when there's danger. I get that with junior college.

1:08:10 Drew That and metal.

1:08:11 Adam Yeah. I know when girls go to junior college and when guys work around metal.

1:08:16 Drew And when guys go to junior college.

1:08:17 Adam And when guys go to junior college. That's junior college, everyone. Junior college for people who want to go to college except for they shouldn't.

1:08:26 Drew They can't.

1:08:27 Adam They can't, but they do anyway. All you people can't go to college? Oh, yeah, you can. Go to junior college. Waste everyone's time. All right, hold on, I got to talk to her a little more. Liz, what are you studying over there in junior college?

1:08:40 Caller Well, I used to go to Cal State Long Beach, but I really hated it.

1:08:43 Adam No way.

1:08:44 Caller Yes, I went like two weeks right after I graduated high school.

1:08:47 Adam Right. But you just showed up.

1:08:49 Caller No, no, I actually...

1:08:50 Adam They threw you off the campus, right?

1:08:52 Caller No, I stopped going there on my own.

1:08:54 Adam I see.

1:08:54 Caller I really hated that school.

1:08:56 Adam Because of the... Because it made you use paper and stuff?

1:08:59 Caller No. No, I didn't like the campus. I didn't like the area. I didn't like anything about Long Beach.

1:09:05 Adam All right, better. All right. You take care of that self. What are you going to do? Go to the gynecologist?

1:09:10 Drew Yeah, if you're sexually active, you've got to be getting pap smear every year anyway. But it doesn't sound like anything. It doesn't sound like the kind of irregular period you see from cysts and endometriosis, that kind of thing.

1:09:19 Adam Kevin?

1:09:20 Caller Yeah.

1:09:20 Adam You're 20?

1:09:21 Caller Yeah.

1:09:22 Adam Wait a minute. I didn't want to talk to you. Drew's right. Sarah?

1:09:25 Caller Hi.

1:09:26 Adam You're 26.

1:09:26 Caller I am.

1:09:27 Adam Kevin, I'll get back to you in a second. What's up, baby?

1:09:29 Caller Well, I had a birthday on Monday. And my boyfriend, who I've been dating for a few weeks, kind of fulfilled a fantasy for me. I'm really into bondage and being dominated and that type of thing. So he tied me up and there was some inanimate objects involved. And ever since Monday, I have a problem controlling my bladder, like if I cough or sneeze or something.

1:09:52 Adam Because it's outside of your body now?

1:09:54 Caller Yeah.

1:09:55 Adam I got hooked. I got hooked on a bowling pin when he pulled it out and he pulled it out of you. Do women lose parts through the vagina?

1:10:02 Drew Just the sole.

1:10:03 Adam Just the sole. To me, the vagina is like a Bombay door that's been left open on an airplane. I picture like junk falling out when they're running. That's why women shouldn't jog. Parts fall right out of it. That's just a hole there. It's like a chute. It's like an organ chute.

1:10:19 Caller No, I'm really worried though that maybe I might have hurt something.

1:10:22 Drew You might have. You might have an infection.

1:10:24 Adam What happened to you that you're into bondage?

1:10:27 Caller I don't know.

1:10:28 Adam Who whacked you out? Nobody. Seriously, what went on with you?

1:10:33 Caller Nothing. I had a perfectly wonderful childhood.

1:10:35 Adam Did someone beat on you a little bit?

1:10:37 Caller No.

1:10:41 Adam What was that? Oh, uh-oh. That's her kid.

1:10:48 Drew Yeah.

1:10:49 Adam Her kid was like crying and she hung up. All right, mama. Mama's into bondage. Oh, that's great. That kid should be taken away and raised by Himalayan goats. Much better chance. Much better chance of turning out normal. Oh, boy. Bondage mama. You know what I love about all you screwball parents? Oh, no, no. The kid doesn't know. He doesn't know. No, no. He doesn't get bound up in duct tape and inserted into my vagina. He's just in the next room. Let me explain about the kid doesn't know. Close your eyes and picture any real deviant historically. Manson, Hitler, any of these idiots. Now, they didn't have to do whatever they were doing to other people to their kids. It was just they were their parents.

1:11:42 Drew Right, that's the dad, that's the mom.

1:11:44 Adam Yes.

1:11:45 Caller Yeah.

1:11:46 Adam It's not that...

1:11:47 Drew Kids are extraordinarily tuned in to who the parent is.

1:11:49 Adam Yeah, it's not that your kid isn't chained to the radiator watching your boyfriend of two weeks sodomize you with a table lamp.

1:11:58 Caller No.

1:11:59 Adam His mother is a bondage freak. That's his hell. Hey, it'd be better off that he witnessed whatever happened to you just once and then had a good mama. But he lives with the bondage weirdo chick. And listen, all you people that say, this is just what I'm in to, BS. Something's up with you. Something's snapped. Something's wrong. You bondage weirdos. Something's up. You understand? I know you like it. I know it feels good. But something's wrong with you. Take my word for it. We'll be back. Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's my frisky partner over there. Dr. Drew is a very passionate man. Very. Very passionate. He's very passionate. I like nipples. I like a little nipple plant. That's me. Drew's passionate. I enjoy little nipple plant. I'm not a passionate man. Although I seem to get very passionate about a lot of things that don't seem to make sense.

1:13:33 Drew Or matter.

1:13:33 Adam Or matter. More important.

1:13:36 Drew Oh, I never wanted a left turn signal so much as today trying to get through Hollywood. That town during rush hour? Forget it. You cannot turn. There's a gridlock.

1:13:46 Adam Yeah, you know they had the opening of the Lion King. Oh, you're going. Do your kids want to go?

1:13:53 Drew They don't know about it. Yeah, but I ran into all that mess.

1:13:56 Adam You give me twenty bucks right now or I'll call them, I swear to Christ. And tell them all about it. Because you know your kids are going to have to go.

1:14:03 Drew I know.

1:14:04 Adam Don't stop spoiling those kids. You understand?

1:14:07 Drew They're not going to Lion King.

1:14:09 Adam Yeah, what are your kids, seven?

1:14:10 Drew Yeah.

1:14:11 Adam Yeah, when I was seven, you know what I was doing? Sitting in the theater watching Pepeon. Watching a movie where a guy was getting raped in prison. When you were seven? Seven.

1:14:23 Drew Oh my God.

1:14:24 Adam What year did Pepeon come out?

1:14:29 Drew Yeah, seventy, I think.

1:14:30 Adam Saw it in the theater. My dad was such a horrible parent. He wanted to go see Pepeon.

1:14:36 Drew And he had to babysit you.

1:14:38 Adam And I was with him. So I had to go see Pepeon with him. Pepeon is a movie, a true movie, allegedly true, about a counterfeiter from France who went to French Guyana where they used to have a penal colony there. And it was a God awful, horrible situation where these guys were putting these, like, you know, sweat boxes and had their heads cut off and, you know, gay erotica and getting shot with spears by headhunters. You seen Pepeon?

1:15:08 Drew No.

1:15:09 Adam Great movie, but a horrible, violent, graphic. Pepeon is probably, you know, it's Midnight Express.

1:15:16 Drew Right, right, right.

1:15:17 Adam Of the early 70s. Right. Dustin Hoffman, Steve McQueen, great movie, but as hairy a movie as you'll ever want to see and a true story, so you can really freak out when you're watching it. Seventy-three. He's getting strangled by the guards. There's an infirmary scene where a guy puts a flower in another guy's mouth and slides his hand down his panties. I'm sitting there at 73. I guess I'm nine at 73. Nine years old watching that. And it's great when you're a kid, too, because you go, Hey, Adam, what do you think the chances you end up in a penal colony, French guy in our 50, 50, 60, 50, 50, 50, 50, let's say, say about 50, 50.

1:16:02 Drew When I get there, this is what's going to be like.

1:16:04 Adam Yeah. I'm already, I'm already mapping out my escape strategy for, you know, 15 years when I end up in French guy in a prison colony. Oh, it's great. That's the thing about being kids. You can't go to see those movies. You figure that's going to be you. Well, if not you, at least your best buddy will end up there. One of you, I mean 50-50, right? Drew, you got to see that movie. It's a great movie. But man, is it graphic.

1:16:26 Caller Oh, brutal.

1:16:29 Adam He's eaten bugs. He's in solitary for years with no light. He's getting strangled by guards. You know, there's a great scene where Dustin Hoffman and him break out. They hop over the prison wall. Dustin gets a compound fracture of his ankle and shin area. They get him drunk on a sailboat and straighten it. It's like he's drinking rum and they take a knife, you know, big buck knife that they're heating up over fire. They got to cut it and get the fluid out of it. It's like put this red hot buck knife on Dustin Hoffman's swollen ankle. He's like screaming bloody murder and they're holding him while he's screaming and writhing with pain. That took a few years off. You're right. Okay. 50-50 chance you'll end up in a prison colony in French Canada. What are the chances you have to have your ankle set with a red hot buck knife? 100%. On a boat? 100%. No, 50. 50%. 50. And the hillside strangler's not going to lose. What are the chances he comes by your place? 50. They're about 50%. 40, 45, 50. Okay. But when you combine those three, you're at 150.

1:17:38 Drew Yeah, you're one of those things.

1:17:39 Adam Oh, yeah. For sure. One of them is going to hit. Josh?

1:17:43 Caller Yeah.

1:17:43 Adam You're 16.

1:17:45 Caller Yeah.

1:17:48 Drew Josh?

1:17:48 Caller Come here.

1:17:50 Drew So are we.

1:17:52 Caller Joe and Adam?

1:17:52 Drew Yeah.

1:17:53 Caller All right.

1:17:55 Caller Yeah, I'm like a long time listener.

1:17:58 Adam Well, you don't know the routine, huh?

1:18:00 Caller No.

1:18:00 Adam What's up?

1:18:01 Caller First time I've called you, though.

1:18:02 Adam Okay. What's going on?

1:18:03 Caller Earlier tonight, I had an intercourse with a new friend of mine.

1:18:08 Adam What's his name?

1:18:09 Caller Huh?

1:18:10 Adam What was his name?

1:18:11 Caller Her.

1:18:12 Adam Oh, her.

1:18:12 Caller Yeah, I'm not gay.

1:18:14 Adam I see.

1:18:14 Caller Um, and during the intercourse, our condom ripped. And, um, I'm not sure if I ejaculated or not.

1:18:25 Caller You're not sure?

1:18:26 Caller Really?

1:18:27 Drew No. You're just not sure if you ejaculated in her or not?

1:18:32 Caller Yeah.

1:18:32 Drew Right.

1:18:34 Caller Um, and I wanted to know how long it would take for the sperm to reach an egg or whatever.

1:18:42 Drew It depends if there's an egg there now or not. The pregnancies occur within 24 hours of the egg being released. The sperm can last up there for up to three days.

1:18:52 Adam Who's got the egg, the guy or the chick?

1:18:53 Drew Chick got the egg.

1:18:54 Adam Chick with the egg, all right?

1:18:56 Drew And so what you want to do is take that morning after pill, the emergency contraception that prevents the egg from being released at all. So the sperm just goes away.

1:19:03 Adam The guy's got the sperm and the egg, you're saying? He's just got sperm.

1:19:07 Drew Got the sperm. Well, not anymore. He didn't release that.

1:19:11 Adam But he'll get new sperm?

1:19:12 Drew Get new sperm.

1:19:13 Adam And so she needs to get the morning after pill?

1:19:15 Drew The sooner the better. It's 90% effective at 24 hours, 70% effective over three days.

1:19:21 Adam Kevin?

1:19:22 Caller Hello?

1:19:23 Adam You're 20?

1:19:24 Caller Yeah.

1:19:24 Adam What's up?

1:19:26 Caller Yeah, I got a little problem. Every time I'm done after having sex with my girl, it's like I'm still horny. I'm still want some more. But it's like she tied up to the first one. And it's like I'm kind of stuck because, you know, I want some more and she don't want no more.

1:19:41 Drew I have some kubas. Yeah.

1:19:43 Caller So it's like I want to, you know, normal for me, you know, it's like, I don't know why I ain't show. But it's like if I've been with some girls and they like it, they like, oh, yeah, okay, you still horny. So let's go for some more. But this girl I guess she don't like it.

1:19:55 Adam So well, are you Japanese guy?

1:19:58 Caller No, I mean, no.

1:19:59 Adam Japanese, Korean.

1:20:01 Caller No, Mexican. No, you're not Mexican.

1:20:05 Adam Are you Mexican?

1:20:06 Caller Yeah.

1:20:07 Adam Wow. You got a little black in you. Come on. You know, Mexican guys don't say Moe. Say Budweiser. Come on. Say Budweiser. No, because we go, but why so? That means you're Mexican.

1:20:27 Caller No, we'll say Jose Cuervo and Squirt. All right.

1:20:31 Adam Hey, orderly. OK, you're fine. You're what is it?

1:20:38 Drew You're fine. You're lucky. I don't know why she wore her out. How long before you ejaculate the first time? Uh, I didn't say it.

1:20:47 Adam I don't know. Did you say it?

1:20:48 Caller Go ahead.

1:20:50 Drew Hey, where do you go?

1:20:52 Adam Anderson says he said the S word.

1:20:55 Drew You're there, Kevin?

1:20:56 Adam Yeah.

1:20:57 Drew How long before you come?

1:20:58 Caller About 20, 25, 25 minutes.

1:21:00 Drew She's tired. That's all.

1:21:02 Adam All right.

1:21:02 Drew She's done.

1:21:03 Adam You need two women.

1:21:04 Caller But it's like some girls that they like it, though.

1:21:06 Drew That's right. Some doing others aren't built that way.

1:21:09 Caller Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

1:21:10 Drew And this one is. And you got to be sensitive to what she likes, where she is.

1:21:13 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:21:14 Drew You're very, very, very passionate.

1:21:16 Adam You're very passionate, man.

1:21:17 Drew Very lucky.

1:21:18 Caller Well, maybe you ought to go hook me up with a girl that's out there that likes this type of guy, right?

1:21:22 Drew I like her.

1:21:23 Adam I do, too.

1:21:23 Drew Yeah. You don't, don't.

1:21:25 Adam No, I'm all right with him. Listen, get up early because he's got to mow the lawn tomorrow. All right. Where the hell, where the hell are we? Anderson, what's that look for? What's that up?

1:21:36 Caller What's mow the lawn?

1:21:38 Adam I said, mow the lawn.

1:21:42 Caller Just watching you.

1:21:44 Drew There's a wives sale out there that black males have larger penises.

1:21:50 Adam That guy was Mexican, though, right? No way. No way. David?

1:21:55 Caller Yeah.

1:21:55 Adam You're 17.

1:21:56 Caller Yeah.

1:21:57 Adam What's up?

1:21:58 Caller I'm calling you guys to ask you if I have some advice.

1:22:00 Adam All right. Let me get straight. You want advice?

1:22:03 Caller Yeah.

1:22:04 Adam Well, normally, it's not the kind of show we do, but all right.

1:22:08 Caller Saturday, I went to a rave and I met with a couple of friends, female friends, and they wanted to have some sexual fun. And so we went to a house and we started having an orgy. There's four of us all together.

1:22:27 Adam And what house?

1:22:29 Caller Her house, a girl's, if I don't know if I'm allowed to mention her name or not.

1:22:33 Adam Well, you don't, whatever.

1:22:35 Caller Okay. It was at a girl's house. And her parents were going and stuff.

1:22:38 Adam Nice.

1:22:39 Caller And so we're over there, we're doing our thing, all right, and two of our friends come over, two more female friends. And so while we're doing our thing, they come inside and they join us.

1:22:49 Adam You and this girl, and now two friends come over.

1:22:51 Caller No, it was me and this girl and three of her friends, and then two more of them came over.

1:22:56 Caller Oh, my God.

1:22:57 Adam Yeah, I remember when I was in high school and I banged these five chicks once.

1:23:00 Caller And so we're messing around, having a good time and everything.

1:23:03 Adam You and the five chicks. Yeah. What were you doing?

1:23:07 Caller Everything I could think of.

1:23:08 Adam What do you mean?

1:23:11 Caller Oral.

1:23:11 Adam You were getting oral sex?

1:23:13 Caller Everything, oral sex, I was giving oral sex.

1:23:15 Adam You were getting oral sex from five of them?

1:23:17 Caller Well, not all five of them, but one by one.

1:23:20 Adam Yeah, no, I know not all five had the end of mouth at the same time, but what I mean is, all five of them took turns doing this on you. Really?

1:23:27 Caller Because that's the only guy.

1:23:28 Adam Oh, I see. Hey, you need to kill yourself tonight. Because this is it, brother. You know what the rest is? You're going to be working at a Noggles and married to some fat chick who chews gum and smokes at the same time. This is it.

1:23:42 Caller You kill yourself.

1:23:43 Adam I don't care. You kill yourself tonight. This is it. It's one big downhill slide. You're going nowhere. Why? You're killing yourself tonight. That's it.

1:23:53 Caller Just listen, brokery, please.

1:23:55 Adam That was a Super Bowl. Do you understand?

1:23:57 Drew Super Bowl?

1:23:58 Caller Yeah, what happened was that today I went to school and my friend introduced me to his new girlfriend. I looked at her good enough. It was one of the girls.

1:24:06 Adam No, it was not.

1:24:08 Caller I swear on everything.

1:24:08 Adam No, it wasn't.

1:24:10 Caller And this is like one of my best looks.

1:24:11 Adam You looked at her good enough. You really examined her.

1:24:14 Caller Yeah.

1:24:15 Adam She was giving you a BJ 48 hours earlier.

1:24:18 Caller I can really tell from her breasts. She was like the biggest one of the bunch.

1:24:24 Adam Wait a minute. You were hanging out with the chick for a few hours, right?

1:24:31 Caller She's actually one of them that came over later at the house.

1:24:35 Adam All right. All right. I'm not so sure I believe him. First off, I wouldn't go. You know, I'd go to school in the back of a convertible Cadillac. I see the problem sitting on the top that was folded down and waving.

1:24:46 Drew The problem is if you do believe it, you have to kill yourself. That's why you don't want to believe him.

1:24:51 Adam I refuse to believe him.

1:24:52 Drew Right.

1:24:53 Adam All right. Here's the deal. It's it's let's say it is. Let's say this is a true story. Oh, for Christ's sake, with these goddamn raves and the drugs and everything, what's happening to these young guys? I can't stand it. I cannot stand it. Where were all these raves when I was growing up? Where are all these screwed up chicks? Where was all the oral? Where has all the oral gone? Long time passing. Who sung that?

1:25:22 Drew Turtles?

1:25:23 Adam Oh, Jesus. All right. I wouldn't say anything, would you?

1:25:28 Drew No.

1:25:29 Adam If your friend has a girlfriend that you basically raped with her other friends a couple of days earlier, just don't say anything.

1:25:37 Drew But maybe help him.

1:25:39 Adam Why say anything? Oh, don't say anything. Don't say anything. You know what you save it for? You save it for when you guys have a big argument. Then you pull it all out.

1:25:47 You let it fly.

1:25:49 Drew All right.

1:25:49 Adam We'll take a little break. When we come back. Oh, Chelsea fantasizes about teachers when she masturbates.

1:25:57 Drew OK.

1:25:57 Caller Yeah, you want that one?

1:26:00 Caller All right.

1:26:01 Adam Yeah.

1:26:01 Caller Right.

1:26:02 Caller After this.

1:26:31 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800- oh, forget about that. Carrot Top and Insane Clown Posse are going to be in here next week.

1:26:43 Drew I have a shame that she couldn't get them both in here on the same night.

1:26:46 Adam Yeah.

1:26:46 Drew Wouldn't that have been entertaining?

1:26:48 Adam Carrot Top's a freaky dude. I think Carrot Top's had some plastic surgery done.

1:26:53 Drew No way.

1:26:55 Adam Are you making fun of me? Why would Carrot Top have plastic surgery done? What are you saying? You're saying no way sarcastically?

1:27:05 Drew No. What would he have had?

1:27:07 Adam I don't know. I think he has. I think it's like 50.

1:27:11 Drew Oh, I see what you mean.

1:27:12 Adam You know what I think is funny? Say anything you want about Carrot Top. I guarantee you goes to Vegas and makes 75 grand a week. I swear to Christ. Every time I'm in Vegas, I see Carrot Top over there and laugh, laugh, laugh all you want. But like I said, these guys go to Vegas and clean up. Do you hear me, Drew? Yeah. All right. Chelsea?

1:27:37 Caller Yeah.

1:27:38 Adam Hey, Drew, talk. I got a fart here.

1:27:39 Drew All right, Chelsea, go ahead.

1:27:42 Caller Whenever I'm after bait, all I think about is...

1:27:45 Caller Whoa.

1:27:46 Adam Huh?

1:27:46 Drew All right.

1:27:47 Adam Drew farted.

1:27:50 Caller Oh.

1:27:51 Drew No, no.

1:27:53 Caller No.

1:27:54 Adam Anderson hates this fart. Oh, Drew, that's good. That was a good one.

1:27:59 Wow.

1:28:00 Adam Yeah.

1:28:00 Unacceptable.

1:28:01 Adam Thank you. Yeah. As a doctor, give me your professional opinion on that one. Seven? Okay. Remember that night? It was all nines and tens.

1:28:09 Caller Please.

1:28:09 Drew Please.

1:28:11 Caller Oh, boy.

1:28:13 Drew It's like a post-traumatic stress ramp.

1:28:14 Caller Now, this is wonderful.

1:28:17 Adam Yeah. That's, that's Huell on Speed and Two Cups of Coffee. Chelsea?

1:28:23 Caller Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam All right. So you fantasize about teachers when you masturbate?

1:28:26 Caller Yeah. But like, it's only teachers. Like, I can't get off when I'm thinking about, like, guys my age. I mean, they're not that much older. They're in, like, they're, I don't know, late 20s. 32 or something.

1:28:38 Drew So.

1:28:40 Caller So, I mean, they're not, I'm not talking about teachers who are like in their 40s or 50s.

1:28:44 Drew Gross.

1:28:45 Adam Grotesque. Yeah, like old man teacher Drew.

1:28:51 Caller Yeah, but see, then he looks like he's in his 20s or 30s, so that balances out.

1:28:55 Adam Drew?

1:28:56 Caller Yeah.

1:28:56 Adam Yeah, he's hot. Clean livin and low self-esteem. He's a man lookin young.

1:29:03 Caller So my question was, is this, like, is this kind of, like, showing me part of my future where I'm not gonna, like, be with guys more my age?

1:29:12 Drew Do you have some reason to sort of be driven to guys older?

1:29:16 Caller Well, I was sexually abused by two of my brothers when I was younger.

1:29:20 Adam No, it's not that. What else?

1:29:23 Drew There you go.

1:29:24 Adam Two of your brothers?

1:29:26 Yeah.

1:29:27 Adam Your blood?

1:29:29 Caller One was blood and one was, um, step.

1:29:31 Drew Wow.

1:29:32 Adam Oh, boy.

1:29:33 Drew How old were you then?

1:29:34 Caller I was five the first time and 11 the second time.

1:29:40 Adam The second time was with the stepbrother?

1:29:42 Caller No, the second time was with biological.

1:29:44 Adam How old was the real? Okay. When you were five, how old was the stepbrother?

1:29:49 Caller Like 13 or 14.

1:29:53 Adam But Dave, I wasn't so tired of crying. And what about when you were 11? How old was your brother? 16. And what did you do with your biological brother?

1:30:05 Caller I gave him head.

1:30:07 Adam And what is up with him?

1:30:11 Caller I didn't know.

1:30:12 Adam No, not you. What's up with the family? Is it a complete mess?

1:30:17 Caller It's a little disorganized.

1:30:19 Caller A little?

1:30:20 Drew What does that mean?

1:30:22 Adam It sounds like a Chinese fire drill going on in there. A little disorganized.

1:30:27 Caller My parents divorced when I was like in preschool and my dad remarried and then he and my stepmom had younger brothers, like than I am. And then my mom, she and her partner lived together. Like life partner lady.

1:30:46 Adam Oh, life partner lady. I see.

1:30:49 Caller And then her son came to live with us too. And this happened when I was like in preschool so she's like raised me also.

1:30:56 Adam It's ironic that the son of the lesbian is doing the raping.

1:30:59 Caller Yeah.

1:31:00 Adam All right. So everything's a mess for Christ sake. You should sue your parents. They're worse than mine.

1:31:06 Caller I'm the only girl out of six boys. I'm right in the middle.

1:31:09 Adam Fantastic. And what about, what's your biological brother? Was he 16?

1:31:14 Caller Yeah.

1:31:14 Adam Something now?

1:31:15 Caller And that was about the time they started using heroin so he is basically the messed up one of the family.

1:31:22 Adam Right. Where is he now? Is he in the service or in jail or?

1:31:27 Caller No, he's...

1:31:28 Adam Working for the federal government?

1:31:30 Caller No, he's working and he's... I don't know if I'd say trying to get his life back together.

1:31:35 Adam Yeah.

1:31:35 Caller But I don't know.

1:31:36 Adam Alright. So Chelsea, you listen, you've been through hell, baby. I'm sorry you had to grow up around all these idiots. I know it's a mess.

1:31:44 Caller But the thing is now, like, I've only had, like, two boyfriends. And the second one I was with, I didn't do anything with them just because I got so nervous and I'm wondering, is this going to affect, like, the rest of my life so I can't...

1:31:58 Adam Yes.

1:31:58 Drew Well, not so you can't. It's going to affect your relationships. Yes. Having come from a family like that, absolutely profoundly affect your relationships. This is what therapy is for.

1:32:08 Adam My dad took me to see Pepion. I'm still in therapy. Chelsea, listen to me, baby. Listen to me. All of you, listen to me. But especially you, Chelsea. You got two choices. You're a smart person. And you know, I don't give that compliment out too much on this show. But you got it together. You're all right. I can hear it in your voice. You're 16. You got a good head on your shoulders.

1:32:31 Caller Thank you. All right.

1:32:33 Adam Now, you've had a real bad hand dealt to you. And sometimes, and this happened to me, I think it happens to a lot of people, you get dropped off in the middle of a crappy, chaotic family. It's like you're some alien. You're like Mork from Mork. You get dropped down in the middle of a mess. You got a screwed up dad. You got a mom with a life partner and a molesting step brother. I mean, these people are effed up beyond belief, all of them. And it's like you're some visitor from another planet that got plopped down in the middle of it. And you would have gladly picked up and left if you could. I mean, if you got dropped down in the middle of that band of drunken gypsies you call a family, when you were 18, 19 years old, you would have looked around that house and got right back in your car and kept driving. But unfortunately, you were an infant and then you were three and then you were five and then you had this step brother, biological brother doing things to you. Understand it's not your fault you got dropped in the middle of it. Now, here's the problem. You got to undo what they did to you. And that's going to take a little work. It's going to take some therapy. It's going to take some reading. It's going to take some walks. It's going to take some discipline. You have to discipline yourself and this goes for all of you. You discipline yourself like anyone with a disability. If you have a problem with blood sugar, you got to get on your insulin. Is that right, Drew? Yep. If you got bad vision, you got to wear glasses. You have a problem and it's no less important than any medical problem that anyone else has. But here's the good news. Just like the person with the medical problem, if they stay with it, if they keep on their medication, if they do what the doctor says, they'll live a long, normal, healthy life. Okay?

1:34:20 Drew There you go.

1:34:21 Adam That's what you need to do, Chelsea. You let this one go and you're going to have your leg cut off just like a diabetic that doesn't take his medicine.

1:34:30 Caller Okay. I'm starting to go to therapy. Is this going to help me or am I going to think about older guys?

1:34:36 Adam No. Don't worry about it. You just go to therapy, throw yourself on the mercy. Is it a woman?

1:34:41 Caller Yes.

1:34:42 Adam Good. Lesbian? No.

1:34:44 Drew Just be open.

1:34:45 Adam Ask. Okay. Just go there. Wide open. Work it out. You'll be fine.

1:34:49 Caller Thank you guys.

1:34:50 Caller You're awesome.

1:34:51 Adam Take care of Josie.

1:34:51 Caller Okay.

1:34:52 Adam These horrible families. Eric?

1:34:55 Caller Hi.

1:34:55 Adam You're 29?

1:34:56 Caller Yes.

1:34:57 Adam You want to know if it's okay for your 18-year-old girl to date a 16-year-old guy?

1:35:01 Caller No. I was calling because I have an issue with the advice that you gave the 18-year-old guy.

1:35:06 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah.

1:35:08 Caller Telling her it was okay for her to date a 16-year-old guy.

1:35:10 Caller Right.

1:35:10 Caller Listen, night after night after night, you're talking about 18-year-old guys who date 16-year-old girls being criminals.

1:35:16 Caller Right.

1:35:17 Caller And yet, tonight, you said it's okay for her to date this guy.

1:35:19 Caller It's a total double standard.

1:35:21 Adam No, it's not.

1:35:21 Drew Well, first of all, we don't talk about 18-year-old and 16-year-old guys. With 19-year-old and 16-year-old, we'd say that.

1:35:25 Adam Okay. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on.

1:35:28 Caller How dare you?

1:35:29 Adam First off, here's the deal. First, there's differences between men and women. And to say, and I'm going to put you on hold because your line is eft up, but here's the deal. To say, oh, you said it's okay for a guy to do this, but it's okay for a girl to do that. You said it's okay for a girl to do this, but not for a guy to do that. Hey, fine. That's fine. One has a vagina and the other has a penis. You know, if you said to me, hey, would you let your 16-year-old son go camping with his buddies, whatever, I'd go, hell, yes. And if you said, would you let your 16-year-old go, I'd go, hell, no. And people would go, well, that's a double standard? Yeah, that's right. There's differences. They don't get drafted into the military service. They wear pants and skirts. They live seven, eight years longer than men. They get a break on their auto insurance. They have things called babies and ovaries. There's all kinds of differences. They bleed once a month. All sorts of differences between men and women. And I'm fine with those differences. That's the biological clock ticking. That's one thing that women have. Take a break. We'll be back.

1:36:27 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:37:04 Adam Anderson, what are you laughing at? Is he yelling at Drew? All right. I talk more during the commercials of the show that I do on the air.

1:37:10 Drew I still want a commercial only show.

1:37:13 Adam All right. Maybe next week we'll do an all commercial Loveline.

1:37:15 Drew Breaks only.

1:37:16 Adam Will you just hear me complain to Drew about life during the commercials? All right, Drew, I can see you're tired. Drew, you be asleep by 12.33 tonight?

1:37:24 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

1:37:27 Adam I'll just be hitting my masturbatory stride, my red wine. It's semen and red wine at the Corolla House.

1:37:32 Drew I'll think of you.

1:37:32 Adam You open the door. It's like a...

1:37:35 Drew Splash.

1:37:35 Adam Big... Yeah, you open the door. It's a tidal wave of semen and red wine. That's after 12.30 at night.

1:37:39 Drew Nice.

1:37:40 Adam Come on over, kids.

1:37:40 Drew Parfait.

1:37:41 Adam I want to thank... Big semen parfait. I want to thank Anderson for doing a great job tonight. This poor guy slid back and forth with that chair like he was producing a Super Bowl from the truck. Really did a wonderful job doing the screening and what not. So, until next time, Sam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Pictures of beer and shaking my ass. These are the things that I make my living from.

1:38:10 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, October 19, 2000