Episode 1000754887143

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast. It's Loveline.

1:13 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, and that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Ah, Sisqo allegedly is our guest tonight. Sisqo's a very nice young lad who was on the show about a year ago. Sisqo came here at 8.30, I hear, to the studio, right?

1:38 Drew Set away.

1:39 Adam Anderson told him to get out. Anderson told him to go kill an hour. Show wasn't going to start for a little while. Well, he's killing an hour, all right. So he probably went out and got something to eat. Now, I saw a stretch limo at the gas station on the corner. That wasn't him, Anderson.

1:56 Hey, how do you feel this morning?

1:57 Adam You know that Anderson. Is he not driving a stretch limo?

2:00 He's not driving a stretch limo.

2:01 Adam Yeah, but still. You see how that works?

2:03 Drew Yeah. I don't know about that, but how do you feel this morning?

2:06 Adam Like fried hell.

2:08 Drew Me too.

2:08 Adam Drew and I.

2:09 Drew What was that?

2:11 Adam Drew and I drove back from San Diego last night, about 12 a.m., and got in about two or so. Drew, you slept on the floor the entire way there.

2:22 Drew You weren't asleep?

2:23 Adam I ate three of those candy bars.

2:26 Drew I noticed there were wrappers all over the place.

2:28 Adam I got the munchies, dude.

2:30 Drew Oh, my God.

2:31 Adam Yeah.

2:32 Drew Three, the super, the family fun size snicker bars.

2:35 Adam Yeah. Drew, I took a sleeping pill. Drew took a sleeping pill. You know what Drew's favorite game is, by the way? Drew gives me a sleeping pill and then he gives it to me and as I'm swallowing it, he goes, you're f'ed up, man. And I go, no, I haven't even swallowed. It's still my mouth. It's still my mouth, Drew. I'll spit it back at you. No, I can tell. I'll go, how can you tell? I haven't even said anything yet. No, it shows. It shows. I think he gave me a sleeping pill last night at the radio station as we're walking out. By the time when we got to the parking, it's like your mess. Maintain, dude.

3:09 Drew You're embarrassing me, man.

3:10 Adam It's humiliating. Did you crap yourself? I mean, do I got to restrain you or are you okay?

3:16 Drew Did you sleep okay?

3:17 Adam And I'm always like, Drew, I'm telling you, these sleeping pills, I can feel them, but they ain't no big deal. I mean, I was up for a third of that limo ride. You were passed out for, I ate three of those candy bars. Immediately got the munchies, then I passed out, then I got up for a while. Then I drove myself home when we got back about two. And when I got home about 2.30, I watched an hour's worth of TV when I got home. Oh my God. Yeah, I don't have, I don't get knocked down. You get knocked down and you do transference. You're jacked up. You're like, dude, you're buzzing so hard. I just took the pill, Drew. I haven't even swallowed it yet.

3:55 All right.

3:56 Adam So anyway, Drew and my, I had to get up very early this morning. I know Drew did too, so our clocks are a little screwed up tonight. That's all right. Who needs to know what day it is?

4:06 Mark?

4:07 Yes.

4:08 Adam You're 21?

4:09 Caller Yes, I am.

4:10 Adam What's up?

4:11 Caller Basically, I've been engaged for two years, actually, I've been engaged about a year, I've been dating a girl for about two now, getting married next summer, and we've been sexually active now for a year. We were both virgins when we met, and my question is, I can get her to orgasm through oral sex, but not during-

4:30 Drew Good times.

4:31 Adam Yep. Well, there you go.

4:33 Drew That would make her female.

4:34 Adam That's it, brother.

4:36 Caller I was just curious. She's been on the pill, and I noticed that she is like dead in senses in her chest whenever she's on that. Can that be the cause for this?

4:48 Drew Didn't we just explain that that's the way most women are?

4:50 Caller That's just women are. I know, I understand, but I'd like for her to share the same pleasure that I have.

4:56 Drew She's not a male.

4:57 Adam Yeah, what do you want to do? Grow a penis? Then you'd be, then where would you be? Be married to a man? Yeah, that's not what we want.

5:04 Drew Although you did make a point last night that that was rather intriguing about women sort of things falling out. This was at UC San Diego. Yeah. As women get older, stuff starts falling out of them.

5:14 Adam Yeah.

5:14 Drew Including the orgasms.

5:15 Adam Yeah, when you loosen up, as you get older, you loosen up. I mean, you become like a satchel with a hole in it. A fecal matter falls out, urine falls out, and for women, orgasms start to trickle out, too. They just orgasm more easily as they get older. Now, you got about another 30 years on her, Mark, but you say you want her to experience the same thing you do, but she has an orgasm, and so do you.

5:42 Caller Yeah, but I mean, she's not very keen to oral sex.

5:46 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean?

5:48 Caller She just doesn't feel right about it. I don't mean right about like on a spiritual note or anything, just kind of, it doesn't feel comfortable to her.

5:56 Adam All right. Hold on. Let me talk to my partner for a second. Drew, what are the chances she's faking it with the oral? See, because Mark over here, he's putting the full court press on with the orgasm. You have an orgasm? You have one yet, honey? I want you to experience what I experienced. You have one? Right. Then she's like, I don't like oral that much. Oop, had an orgasm. Can we watch TV?

6:19 Drew Then he won't let go of that.

6:20 Adam Yeah.

6:21 Drew I mean, accidentally, because he wouldn't stop on it until he got the way he had to go.

6:24 Adam Chain into that oral that much, right?

6:26 Drew I don't best say, I believe, maybe she's guilty and they have a certain. Yeah.

6:31 Adam Why is she having the orgasm if she doesn't like the oral sex very much?

6:36 Caller Man, that's clueless to me. I haven't been able to figure that one out either. We've gone as far as, we've gotten like books and different things because I realized that we're both kind of-

6:45 Adam All right. Where is she? Where is she? In the lab now? Can you get her out of the vagina lab?

6:49 Caller No, actually, she's at school right now.

6:51 Adam I see. Hey, Mark.

6:53 Yeah.

6:54 Adam Don't put so much pressure on her in her vagina. Well, I mean-

6:59 Drew Hey, listen.

6:59 Adam Slow down there, buddy. You're getting books out.

7:02 Drew This is to satisfy your ego, not her.

7:04 Adam Yeah. They call it-

7:05 Caller Well, I mean, she's becoming dissatisfied. It is a moment of pressure. I'm not trying to push it.

7:13 Drew We're having trouble believing that she's actually, we don't understand what the dissatisfaction is, is if she's having an orgasm.

7:20 Caller I mean, she wants, she feels like she'll experience it better during sex. I mean, she's missing out on something.

7:26 Adam All right.

7:26 Caller And I believe me, I do agree with the fact that it's possible that she's faking it during the oral thing, kind of make me feel better. But, and that is why I'm kind of stressed about it. I mean-

7:38 Adam All right. All right. But listen, Mark. Yeah. Just let your relationship take a natural course. Don't stress. Don't stop focusing on sex so much.

7:50 Drew Certainly not so much on the oral.

7:51 Adam My God, how insecure must you be? You know what I mean? You got to go out and get books. You got to, you got to, you're obsessing about it. And you're freaking her out. Just relax. Have sex. Enjoy your intimate moments. If there's something she likes more than something else, that's what you do more of. What do you got to go get? A schematic and tape it to her ass? Like a compass and a sextant?

8:15 Drew Global positioning system?

8:17 Adam Got the GPS system up her ass. You know, when you orgasm, you yell, Incoming, Outcoming. Just relax, buddy. Hey, you know, it's always funny to me when men's sexuality gets so wrapped up in their partners, it's like, you got to have an orgasm or I'm not going to sleep. Right. Just relax. You start pressuring women, they freak out. He's freaking this chick out. She's young. She's like, F it. I'm faking it. Get this swab off me with this map. It's mapped in my clitoris. Pat? Yeah. Hi, guys. Was that a Hope and Crosby film? Road to Clitoris, I think is what it was. Yeah. Pat, you're 19. What's up?

9:04 Caller Yeah. I just want to say I love you guys and apologize. I'm a little nervous. You guys are great. Thank you. Yeah. My problem is I've been with my girlfriend now for about six months. We've been sexually active for about three of those months. And in the last month or so, she's been starting to increasingly need us to roleplay, which is fine. I'm all up for that. But she wants us to roleplay as animals.

9:30 Drew Really?

9:31 Caller Yeah, like lions. And she's not just like, and we're not just like growling. Like it's like I'm the alpha male and I'm on the prowl for her.

9:43 Drew But does she want you to dress up in a lion outfit like the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz or something?

9:48 Caller Well, that's just freaky. No, no.

9:50 Adam Carol, what are you implying?

9:51 Drew Well, we're just having a discussion, strangely enough, just before the mics got hot, right?

9:56 Caller Yeah, about something called furries. People call furries, they're actually sexually-

10:00 Adam Yeah, I pick them out of my ass.

10:02 Drew Furries?

10:03 Adam Yeah.

10:03 Caller They're actually sexually aroused by half animal, half people. Like a centaur?

10:10 Drew No, more like a Disney movie called Robin Hood, where the animals have human characteristics. Oh, yeah, that one.

10:18 Adam Yeah.

10:18 Caller Well, now my problem doesn't seem nearly as bad.

10:21 Drew Well, but the point is she's going down that road. I've never heard of it, but I've never really studied it, so I don't know what the source of all that is.

10:29 Adam Well, wait a second. Now, we've all seen a girl on Halloween dress up as a tiger or a cat or something. That's good for a boner.

10:38 Caller No, we're not dressing up.

10:39 Drew Not yet, Pat.

10:41 Caller OK.

10:41 Adam So it's just great. Hold on a second. You know what I like about Pat? Pat calls in and describes this sort of bizarre sexual problem. And then as soon as you pick it up and run, they'll say, oh, all right. He's like, like, like how weird of you to suggest like you're sitting in his attorney's office and you guys are doing a deposition or something. It's like like he didn't call the radio show and bring this up.

11:03 Caller Right.

11:05 Adam Listen, if you guys are biting and growling and on the prowl, her putting on some furry ears is not not too far out of the realm of possibility.

11:16 Caller I was just making a joke.

11:17 Adam I see that, buddy.

11:18 Caller Anyway, failed attempt at one anyway. But it wasn't at first, it wasn't bothering me too bad. But then she want we kind of both like wanted to try anal. And when I went to do that, her butthole was.

11:36 Adam Yeah, I smelt that one coming on. It said tried anal.

11:39 Drew Yeah, that's good. A little more color to it than most of our bogus calls.

11:44 Yeah.

11:44 Drew Be careful, man. If I get I swear you got three male bogus calls. Moratorium on men again tonight.

11:49 That's it.

11:50 Adam Yeah.

11:50 Drew Screw balls.

11:51 Adam Yeah, I'm all right with that.

11:52 Drew Yeah.

11:53 Adam I wouldn't mind making Wednesday night's ladies night here on Loveline.

11:57 Drew And by the way, talking to the ladies, if they put women up to a screwball call, that's okay.

12:03 Adam Yeah, I don't mind that.

12:04 Drew Yeah, that's that's courageous, creative, interesting, unusual.

12:07 Adam Let me tell you something.

12:08 Caller Puckish.

12:10 Adam I'm sorry, ladies, if this sounds like an insult, but you chicks can't pull off a prank call. You really can't.

12:15 Drew Well, they don't. They are practiced at it. They must be.

12:17 Adam Unless they have like a sort of a Cyrano de Bergerac type hiding in the bushes, feeding them line. Of course, they haven't honed the jack off skill that men have honed over the years. Every guy has that gene. I don't trust a guy doesn't have that gene. Do you know what I'm saying?

12:34 Drew I do. Speaking of jack off and how screwed up men are. Yeah. Did you, I not hear you say one time, some group of women they were talking about, we're going through dumpsters and looking for like, you know, buried treasure and stuff. I thought, doesn't every man around the age of 14 go behind liquor stores and look for playboys and things? Or was that the thing of the 70s?

12:53 Adam I don't know about 14, but I've done a ton of trash picking in my life.

12:57 Drew Looking for porn?

12:59 Adam I used to go, I mean, but this was parent-approved behavior. We used to go trash picking on, you know, Wednesday night, whenever it was, just walk around up and down the neighborhood, find toys, find junk, you know, syringes, tongue depressors, tampons, usable stuff. Oh yeah, yeah. A lot of one man's trash, another man's treasure. Now my parents were like, hey, knock yourself out. So you can find, yeah, I found a lot of pornography that way. They're, they're always sort of like weather damaged. You know, you know what happens in magazines, especially big, thick ones like a penthouse, when you leave them outside, you spend a couple of nights out in the do, yeah, they get kind of smelly, they're kind of weird. Yeah, you know, good times.

13:46 Drew I thought this in the seventies, that was sort of a rite of passage for the adolescent male.

13:50 Adam Yeah, I don't think, I think people burn their porn now. I don't think they throw it away.

13:54 Drew I think of what guys I had to look for. It's like Playboy.

13:56 Adam Yeah, Steve?

13:58 Mayonnaise, you put the master in masturbate.

14:01 Adam Thank you, buddy. You're 16 there, Steve, what's up?

14:04 Caller Yeah, I've got like a bad case of jock itch, and my girlfriend, I think, wanted to have sex on Saturday night.

14:10 Drew You're sure that's what it is?

14:12 Yeah, I'm positive.

14:13 Drew You using anything for it?

14:14 Caller I'm putting tenectin on it.

14:16 Drew Okay.

14:17 But I don't know if it's going to be gone by then.

14:19 Caller I wanted to know if I could transmit that to her somehow.

14:22 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:23 Drew But...

14:24 Adam What is that, Chuck Itch? Is it a fungus?

14:26 Drew It's a fungus.

14:27 Adam What's the best way to deal with it? Keep it dry?

14:29 Drew Dry and there's tons of good over-the-counter stuff. Lamacil, tenectin, that kind of thing. So I doubt you're going to pass it to her.

14:37 Adam Okay.

14:37 Drew Okay? That's not one of the things you have to worry about.

14:40 Adam Let me ask you something about your nads, Drew. Is it sort of like this, like more stuff grows on the underside of a rock by stream than the top of a rock in the desert?

14:53 Drew Yes.

14:53 Adam You know what I'm saying?

14:54 Drew Yes.

14:54 Adam And so if you can keep your nuts dry, you're ahead of the game. Yeah. Dump a little powder, a ball powder down there, a dump ball powder.

15:04 Drew Adam Corolla's ball powder.

15:05 Adam Dump that down there. You know, just sort of don't wear the tight slacks. Let things flow in the breeze a little. Sometimes when I drive on the freeway, I hang my leg out the, put the car and cruise control, stick the leg out the window, you know, hang the sweat pants out, let the air come rushing up the leg. It dries things out.

15:23 Drew Sounds wonderful.

15:23 Adam Yeah, it's good times. People think I'm signaling, though.

15:26 Caller Tripp?

15:28 Hey, what's up?

15:29 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's up?

15:31 Caller Yeah, okay. First, you know what? I've got a question for you, and I want to do a First Nations song for you. But the question is basically, I believe that pot can help, well, it helped cure me of my depression and semi-mental disorder, and I want to know what Drew thought about that.

15:55 Adam Oh, bad times.

15:57 Drew What's your mental disorder?

15:59 Caller Well, I have a mild case of OCD and paranoia, and just an EDPD case of depression, and that's about it. And I just went through a break up, so I'm kind of a little bit more depressed, so I'm using it a little bit more.

16:18 Adam Is this something that was clinically observed?

16:22 Drew This is your own...

16:23 Caller No, no, no, no. I've been on and off of pills for about three years. Prozac, Paxil...

16:32 Drew Well, Tripp, here's the bottom line. People use drugs because they work, because they make them feel better, okay? If it didn't make you feel good, people would not god damn use them, okay? So to say that, hey, make my psychiatric symptoms get better, no s. That's why you use them. But the problem is, there's a whole series of things that get triggered as a result of these chemicals that make those things worse and or trigger separate disease. That's it. Period.

17:01 Adam All right. So maybe it makes you feel better for a while, but in the big picture, it may not be a good way to medicate yourself.

17:08 Caller And that maybe because I did for my OCD, I don't have any of those. And my doctor says it's a product of an overactive brain, a part of your brain that's over.

17:23 Drew Yes. And OCD gets worse with time with pot.

17:26 Adam All right. Well, let's... Sorry. It makes you feel better for now and have more power to you.

17:33 Drew But if these things didn't make people feel good, they wouldn't use them.

17:36 Adam Yeah. All right. Do you have some song or something, Tripp?

17:40 Caller Oh, yeah. Oh, well, yeah. Maybe it's because I'm all stoned right now. So... But, yeah, Tripp's the name. Okay, yeah, I wanted to do a rendition of the Inspector Gadget song, okay?

17:53 Adam No.

17:54 Caller What?

17:57 Adam Well, let's talk about being baked. What do I announce at the top of every hour that I'm a big Inspector Gadget fan? I've never seen that cartoon. How's that being tied into this show? Listen, all you guys who sing songs to cartoons I've never heard or seen, or like, let's say, for instance, you spin plates or something, don't call him. Hey, if you want to do a rendition of, you know, he's got it all, the theme of the taboo, too. That's something else. Clarissa?

18:28 Caller Yes.

18:29 Adam You're 26?

18:30 Caller Yes.

18:31 Adam Oh, you're creepy, baby. Why? Something's up with you.

18:35 Drew What's going on?

18:36 Caller Well, I've been married for 10 years.

18:42 Drew Since you were 16?

18:43 Caller Yes.

18:44 Drew Hang on a second. Can you paint a picture for me?

18:47 Adam How many teeth do you have, Clarissa?

18:49 Caller How many what?

18:50 Adam Teeth?

18:51 Caller Teeth. Children's.

18:53 Adam Oh, children's. Yeah. How many children's?

18:55 Caller Two.

18:55 Adam Two children's?

18:56 Drew Children's.

18:57 Adam And two teeth?

18:59 Caller No.

19:00 Adam You got all your teeth?

19:01 Caller Yes.

19:02 Caller All right.

19:03 Adam So what's going on?

19:07 Caller Well, I fall in love with my best friend, you know, a female. And I talk to my husband about it, you know, because I feel like I don't love him no more.

19:18 Drew What's he been doing to you? Well, he's been beating the crap out of you?

19:22 Caller Well, not beating, you know, but it's like he kind of, he hurt me, you know, a lot emotionally.

19:30 Drew What'd he do?

19:31 Caller Well, it's like in our sex relationship, he wanted to do all kinds of stuff to me. And, you know, that things that I didn't like, you know, he was always, I mean, there for me, like on with material things, you know, like he'll pay bills and all that, you know, but he wasn't there for me, you know, like when I needed him.

19:51 Drew No emotional.

19:51 Caller Yes. And with the kids either, you know. So, you know, all the love that I had for him, he kind of like, he threw it, you know, to trash, you know.

20:03 Caller Hold on.

20:04 Caller 10-4, thank you.

20:05 Caller Oh, no.

20:07 Drew Oh, please God tell me she's not a policeman.

20:11 You know, well.

20:12 Adam Are you an officer?

20:14 Caller Yes.

20:16 Adam Really? You're not a meter maid?

20:19 Drew Security guard?

20:20 Caller No.

20:21 Adam You work for the Dallas Police Department?

20:24 Caller Well, I just get that, you know.

20:27 Adam You're driving around a patrol car?

20:29 Caller No.

20:30 Adam You, where are you?

20:32 Caller At work.

20:33 Adam You work like you do dispatch?

20:35 Caller Uh-huh.

20:37 Adam Good times, good times. You don't carry a piece though, right?

20:40 Caller No.

20:40 Adam Good, good, good, good. All right. What's your husband do?

20:46 Caller Well, he works for this company. He's a driver.

20:50 Adam For a company. All right. And you're in love with somebody else?

20:54 Caller Yes.

20:55 Drew How about getting some counseling with your husband, staying committed to that relationship on behalf of the kids? Because maybe he's got some in him, he just doesn't know how to communicate, it does not have a relationship.

21:05 Caller The thing is that we have a great communication, you know?

21:10 Drew You just told me you had nothing, he gives you nothing emotionally.

21:14 Caller Yeah, but you know, it's like we talk about the problems and he always tells me he's going to change, he'll change for a week or two and then he goes back to the same thing.

21:22 Drew And what is the same thing?

21:24 Caller Like, I just feel like I've been just used, you know? It's like he just want to please himself, you know?

21:29 Drew Is he drinking or?

21:31 Caller He used to drink a lot, you know? He's kind of like stopping a little bit.

21:35 Adam By the way, hold on, that bing in the background, that means officer down. That's the bing. That tone goes off when there's more than one officer down and being pinned down by gunfire. She's tying up the line. Hey, Clarissa, here's the deal, mama. Your dad, your dad, Jackass?

22:00 Drew Your father. Clarissa? Yes?

22:05 Adam Is your father Jackass?

22:06 Caller No.

22:07 Adam He's a good man?

22:10 Caller Well...

22:11 Drew Not exactly, huh?

22:12 Caller Yeah, my dad, he's great, you know, but I...

22:14 Drew Now he is, but when you're growing up?

22:16 Caller What was that?

22:17 Drew Maybe he is now.

22:18 Adam We gotta let her get back to her dispatching job.

22:21 Drew I'm gonna ask you to do one thing. Go to Al-Anon. Please, God, do not break this relationship. Do not act out in your girlfriend. Do not screw up these kids. Go to Al-Anon for a few weeks. Get a sponsor. See if your head doesn't clear up a little bit. See if he doesn't come in a line. You'd be amazed by the way these people change. Sometimes when they're a person they're connected with, when their spouse, their girlfriend, suddenly starts growing in the process of Al-Anon, magically they freak out a little bit and then want to change themselves.

22:46 Adam And couldn't she just take the kids and drop them off to a biker gang so they could get raised properly? I mean, at least so they'd have a shot.

22:52 Drew Didn't we decide raccoons, what we're going to use as our baseline?

22:55 Adam Yeah, I like to mix it up. Maybe biker gypsies. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like someone who's running heroin into Mexico, couldn't she just drop them off at that family so they could have a little more stable environment? Oh, Christ. All right, Drew, you want to take a break? Sisqo is allegedly going to do the show tonight. Now he did show up at 8.30, I'm told. And Anderson sent him packing.

23:26 Caller Maybe I offended them or something.

23:27 Adam Could very well have offended them.

23:28 Drew What did you say to them?

23:29 Adam I told them, get the F out of here.

23:32 Drew Nice.

23:32 Adam You told them to go take a walk for an hour, right?

23:35 Yeah, I said to go get something to eat.

23:36 Caller I said, you don't want to stick around here for an hour now because it's boring.

23:38 Adam I mean, you can.

23:39 Caller You're more than welcome to.

23:40 Caller But I'd go get something to eat, come back, buy a quarter till.

23:43 Adam I see. Quarter to 11, quarter to 12. Yeah. Well, anyway, Sisqo is here in spirit and I wouldn't be lying to say he was in the building today. Not at all. So, you know, Sisqo on a technicality tonight, everybody. And theoretically, he'll be wandering in here soon. If not, then you got us after this.

24:25 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio.

24:28 Drew 100.7 The Buzz.

24:40 Yeah.

24:42 Caller All right.

24:43 Adam Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Sisqo was supposed to come in here again tonight. He came in earlier. 8.30.

24:59 Drew What are you belching up there?

25:00 Adam Peanut butter. Good times. Good times. And Anderson told me better go drive around the block for a while because nothing was going to be going on here for another hour or so and maybe just went out and got loaded or he just kept going.

25:16 Drew Got offended and went home.

25:18 Adam No, whatever. Listen, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. A lot of folks get angry at guests that don't show up. Not me. More airtime for me. That's the way I look at it.

25:31 Drew You get angry when guests don't show up on time though.

25:33 Adam I don't want to... Well, no. Not on this show.

25:36 Drew Yes, you do. You make you crap about that all the time.

25:38 Adam Oh, yeah. You're right. I admit when I'm wrong.

25:41 Drew Not on this show.

25:42 Adam How dare you?

25:43 Drew Oh, yeah.

25:43 Adam Yeah, you're right.

25:44 Drew Yeah, yeah. All the time.

25:44 Adam Well, I was thinking when we used to do the TV show and we had to wait for a guest.

25:48 Drew Remember Pamela Lee?

25:50 Caller Oh, that?

25:53 Adam I'll tell you, Pamela Lee, Pamela Lee shows up late everywhere she goes and her goddamn publicist, who is that? Is that yours?

26:04 Drew Yeah.

26:04 Adam And who?

26:05 Drew Israel.

26:06 Adam And Marleah, a bloodsucker?

26:08 Drew No, come on.

26:10 Adam Come on.

26:11 Drew They are.

26:11 Adam Listen, I told her, go talk to your client, tell her start showing up on time. Remember that?

26:16 Drew Yeah.

26:17 Adam And what she said, Oh, that's not my job. Whose job is it, honey? And then we started the show and then we had to stop the show.

26:26 Drew Oh, I remember I'd like to give the entire studio, which was you're enabling this person. You're the problem. Just start broadcasting.

26:35 Adam Let me tell you the beauty of television, everybody. If a Pam Anderson makes you wait an hour to do your show and cost you thousands of dollars, literally, people standing around, you can't say anything about it because you'll offend her. In my thing, it's like, well, what do you mean offend her? It's like you met someone for dinner at eight and they showed up at nine, but you can't say anything about them being late or they'll get up and leave. What the hell is that? It's ridiculous.

27:10 Drew They'll never go out with you again.

27:11 Adam Yeah, that's what it is. No, their friends won't go out with you either because their publicists handle other people. Oh, you horrible, horrible publicists. Please, please do something with your lives. Please, you vermin. Please. Sandra? Yeah. Publicists, two grand, 1500, two grand a month. That's what these publicists want. Go ahead, Sandra. Don't get me going on these people. You're 41. What's up?

27:40 Caller Yeah, I got a question about sexual life here. My husband and I have been married for 20 years. He's been having trouble getting it up, so.

27:54 Drew Does he do drugs?

27:55 Caller No.

27:55 Drew He's on medication?

27:57 Caller No.

27:57 Adam He drinks though, doesn't he?

27:59 Caller Occasionally.

28:00 Drew How often?

28:03 Caller Twice a month.

28:05 Drew How about cigarettes?

28:06 Caller No.

28:08 Drew Well, he needs to see a doctor. Because in that age group, if he's really truly having a rectal dysfunction, more than anything, medical causes need to be ruled out quickly.

28:18 Caller Okay.

28:18 Adam How old is he?

28:20 Caller He's 40.

28:21 Caller Hmm. Yeah.

28:23 Drew Most men when they have that problem are running to the doctor. So what's up with him that he's not sort of concerned about this? Oh, yes.

28:31 Adam Oh, yes.

28:33 Drew Really?

28:33 Adam There's guys who can be freaked out about that.

28:36 Drew And not go? Yeah.

28:36 Adam Sure.

28:38 Drew Why doesn't he seem concerned? Is he concerned about it?

28:41 Caller Um, doesn't seem to be.

28:43 Drew See, that's not right.

28:45 Caller He'll be hard at first, but then he gets soft.

28:48 Drew Oh, that's a little different.

28:50 Adam That's different. What's up with that, Drew? Drew has a puss on, Sandra. That's not a good puss.

28:56 Drew What's going on in your relationship?

28:58 Caller Uh, well, I recently got a new job three months ago, and I'm working nights, and he's working days, so we see each other on the weekend.

29:09 Adam Is that too much for him?

29:11 Drew Have you noticed anything else going on?

29:13 Caller No.

29:14 Drew Anything, has he complained about anything, or let you know anything at all about how he's feeling?

29:20 Caller No, and he's always been real sexually active, you know.

29:24 Adam Yeah, he's, uh, humped the bejesus out of you in the past.

29:27 Drew Anything changing you anatomically, or?

29:30 No.

29:32 Adam You, uh, put on a few pounds?

29:38 Yeah, well, I could lose a few pounds.

29:41 Adam Did you pack some on?

29:43 No.

29:44 Adam No, about the same. What are you weighing in at?

29:47 Caller Uh, 160.

29:49 Adam Not bad. Four foot even?

29:52 Pardon me?

29:53 Adam Okay. What do you do about this? Is this a medical problem when you lose it?

29:58 Drew Well, it's a little more likely to be emotional if he's got good erectile function that suddenly goes away.

30:04 Yeah.

30:05 Drew Uh, but he still should have a medical evaluation.

30:09 Adam Get him on a medical evaluation.

30:11 Of course.

30:11 Drew That's where you start.

30:12 Adam How about you get the wood, then you just turn one of those twist ties around the base?

30:17 Drew Well, look, there's viagra now if he really has a problem. But it's a little peculiar that he's not, uh, interested in it, not, not disturbed by that.

30:25 Adam Well, you know, guys have been married for 20 years. They could care less.

30:29 Drew No, no, I disagree with you.

30:31 Adam You don't?

30:32 Drew No, I got the whole Adam. I know your concept of marriage is a little screwed up, but in 20 years you should still be enjoying yourself.

30:39 Adam Sexually?

30:40 Drew Yes.

30:41 Adam Same vagina?

30:42 Drew Different jizz.

30:47 Adam Josh?

30:48 Yeah?

30:48 Adam You're, uh, 13?

30:50 Yes, I am.

30:50 Adam There you go, buddy. What's up?

30:52 How are you guys doing?

30:53 Adam Good.

30:54 All right, first I just want to say I'm sorry about last night. I was the anonymous caller.

31:00 Drew Oh, that we accidentally hung up on or something?

31:02 Yeah.

31:02 Adam Oh, all right.

31:04 Um, Adam, you're my hero.

31:06 Caller Thank you.

31:07 Caller And Dr. Drew, if I become a doctor, it's your influence.

31:10 Drew Great, Josh. What's going on?

31:12 Caller All right.

31:14 Ever since I can remember, my uncle has been, like, raping me and stuff.

31:20 Drew Like since you were a little boy?

31:21 Yeah.

31:22 Drew Great. How would you come in contact with this uncle? And whose brother is he?

31:29 I have no idea.

31:31 Caller I lived with a foster family until I was three.

31:34 Adam Oh, boy.

31:35 Caller And then when I was three, I guess I got adopted by them.

31:38 Drew By this guy who calls himself your uncle?

31:41 Caller Yeah. I don't know if he really is.

31:42 Adam Well, wait a second. You weren't adopted by him.

31:47 Drew You're adopted by a family who has him around and calls him an uncle?

31:53 I just don't know if he's my biological uncle.

31:56 Adam Yeah.

31:56 Drew But is he the guy that adopted you?

31:58 Caller Yeah. They adopted me.

31:59 Drew Oh, my God. You've got to report this, Josh. This is just awful.

32:06 Adam Has he stopped?

32:08 No.

32:09 Adam When's the last time he did this?

32:11 Caller One to two weeks.

32:14 Adam Why do you think he hasn't done it in a few weeks?

32:18 Caller I don't know. He's drunk a lot.

32:22 Drew Can you imagine that?

32:24 Adam Sort of.

32:26 Drew Josh, I want you to write this phone number down, okay?

32:29 Caller All right.

32:29 Adam You got a pen?

32:31 Yeah.

32:31 Let me get a pen.

32:34 All right.

32:34 Drew 1-800-540-4000. Also 800-422-4453.

32:51 Yeah.

32:52 Drew You got to spend a little time talking to these folks about how you manage this situation because this is terribly destructive to you.

32:58 Adam Hey, read those two numbers back.

33:01 1-800-540-4000.

33:09 Drew That's one of them. And the other?

33:11 Caller 1-800-422.

33:17 What's the first number again?

33:20 Drew 4453.

33:22 4453?

33:24 Drew Are you in school right now?

33:25 Caller No.

33:26 Caller How come? Do you mean right now?

33:30 Drew Not right this second, but are you going to school?

33:33 Caller Uh huh.

33:33 Caller Okay.

33:34 Drew Everything going okay there?

33:36 Caller Yeah.

33:36 Adam Did you write those numbers down?

33:38 Caller Yeah.

33:40 The last one is 422.

33:47 Adam But hey, Josh? Yeah. Hold on a second there. You got yourself a pen, do you? You can write numbers, right? Yeah. Did you write those numbers down?

34:00 I can't get like the second number.

34:02 I can't remember it.

34:03 Drew 422, write that down.

34:05 422.

34:05 Adam Well, you don't have to remember it. You write it down.

34:08 All right, it's like pitch black. All right, say that again.

34:11 Drew 422. 4453.

34:15 Caller 4453.

34:17 Drew There we go.

34:18 All right.

34:19 Caller You got that down?

34:20 Drew Got it.

34:21 Adam You got to call them in the morning.

34:23 Drew Or even now. You got to spend a little time talking about this.

34:27 Adam Where's your uncle now? Is he in the next room?

34:30 No. Last time I saw him, it was this morning.

34:35 Caller So I have no idea.

34:38 Adam You got to call that in those numbers and you got to tell them what's going on. All right? And you know, Josh, you sound all right. I mean for someone who's been through what you've been through, it's not your fault and you got to get some help now. I'm sorry for what's happened to you. And the first step to getting help is calling those numbers. What are those numbers?

35:03 Drew What?

35:04 Adam Is that the track?

35:05 Drew No.

35:06 Adam What numbers?

35:07 Drew Child Abuse Hotline and Child Help USA.

35:09 Adam That's right. Those are very important numbers.

35:11 Caller You have to call.

35:13 Adam That's all you have to do right now. You just have to call those numbers.

35:16 Drew Start talking.

35:17 Adam Tell them what's going on and get the gears turning.

35:20 Drew Just like you talk to us.

35:22 Adam That's right. All right. You tell them Drew sent you, you get a 10% discount.

35:26 Drew It's up to Randy.

35:28 Adam Who?

35:28 Drew Randy.

35:29 Adam Who's Randy?

35:30 Drew I'm on six.

35:31 Adam Oh. I was saying you call them, you call them, and you said talk to Randy.

35:36 Drew I said let's talk to Randy.

35:38 Adam Okay, buddy. I was talking about calling someone, so I thought you had someone you knew over there. Ironic if their name was Randy. Randy?

35:48 Caller Yeah, hi. Yep.

35:50 Adam Yeah. Folks named you Randy, huh? It was funny. Are they some kind of comedians?

35:57 Caller Randy, R-A-N-D-Y. Yeah. I don't see it so unusual. Anyway, I have a question.

36:04 Adam You're risk-going gay.

36:06 Caller What's up? I have a question, actually. I have a girlfriend for about three years.

36:11 Drew Jesus Christ, Anderson just laughed. I was just like startling. And he's over there smiling. What do you say, Adam?

36:16 Adam I think he's sad on a feather.

36:19 Drew I'm sorry, Andy. What's that?

36:21 Caller No problem. I have a girlfriend for about three years. And for three years, I would say it's just some complete compulsive sex. I have to have sex every time we meet. And I think it's causing a problem. Because, you know, I would come over to her dorm, even for example, and she's there studying. And honestly, all my mind is just having a sex life.

36:40 Drew Well, that would be normal kind of male behavior, right?

36:43 Caller Yeah. But it's, I think it's actually causing a problem, being that I feel like sometimes she does it just because she knows I want to.

36:50 Drew That's what women, unfortunately, end up doing a lot of the time.

36:54 Caller Yeah. But I mean, I don't want to get to the point where it's not.

36:57 Drew Hey, listen, most women are willing to do that to sort of meet you on your turf, if you provide them what they need in a relationship.

37:04 Adam That's right.

37:04 Drew So you got to talk, you got to spend time listening.

37:06 Adam If you have sex with them, you got to go to their friends' party.

37:09 Drew You got to reach her on an emotional level, you got to show affection, you got to do all those things.

37:14 Caller Right.

37:14 Drew And then the sexual piece will follow.

37:15 Adam They give you sex, you pretend to listen, they give you sex, you go to the mall, they give you sex, you go to their friend's house, they give you sex.

37:23 Drew What's the matter, Ann?

37:24 Adam You pretend to like their friends.

37:26 Caller No, I understand what you guys are saying, but it's just, I mean, I feel like I'm the only, I have a lot of friends and they can actually go hang out and just, you know, have a great time without, but maybe, you know, they'll leave it. All right.

37:37 Adam Well, maybe, you think you're bisexual?

37:39 Caller No, I'm not.

37:40 Drew He's very passionate, though.

37:41 Caller Yeah.

37:42 Adam Yeah.

37:43 Caller All right.

37:43 Adam Well, listen, don't get her pregnant and start smoking some weed or something.

37:49 Drew Nice.

37:49 Adam Well, just, just don't preoccupy. Do you exercise?

37:53 Caller Yeah, I do.

37:54 Adam Yeah, I know it.

37:56 Caller I don't know.

37:57 Adam I don't know. I don't see this as a huge problem.

38:00 Drew Agreed.

38:00 Adam Wack off before you, before you head over there. You know, it's funny about women. I don't know if it's this way with you and your wife, but every girlfriend I've ever had, it's real important that I like their friends and I rarely do.

38:15 Drew Yeah, it's important to her.

38:16 Adam It's important to whoever I'm with that I like their friends, even though I never really see them. More of a point they make.

38:23 Drew Yeah.

38:23 Adam And I always screw up and go like, yeah, it's all right. Wouldn't want to spend any time with them. You know, it's like, oh, oh no.

38:31 Caller Now I'm screwed.

38:32 Adam It's never been important to me that my girlfriend like my friends.

38:36 Drew Oh, because that would be impossible.

38:38 Adam I want them to get along. I don't want them to fight or anything, but I don't really care what their opinion is of them.

38:43 Drew You hang around a bunch of hyenas.

38:45 Adam That's what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm talking about?

38:48 Drew Worry me, I forget, it's almost an acid test, in your case. I really like your friends.

38:52 Adam I'm like, whoa, whoa, what's wrong with her? I've gotten busted by girlfriends a thousand times. They're like, you barely said hi to Sheila. I'm like, I said hi. Yeah, just hi. I don't know what else to say. She's my best friend. I said hi to her. Yeah, you just said hi, and then you walked into the kitchen. I don't know, what do you want me to do? Well, you know, this is my best friend. Like, all right, I'm sorry. Next time we're going on a cruise. I've never said that to a girl. He barely said hi to Ray. Ray's hurt. It's like, what is that? Is that a chick thing? It is, isn't it? You don't have, you don't care, right? If your wife walked past Dr. Marcel and they said, hey, how's it going, Marcel? And just kept going in the kitchen. You wouldn't like pull her side and go, what was that? Marcel is one of my closest friends. You wouldn't care, would you?

39:48 Drew Girls need to have, I think, their esteem. It needs to be reflected in how their friends feel about their partners.

39:56 Adam Oh.

39:56 Drew You know what I'm saying?

39:57 Adam Yeah. See, our friends need to think our girlfriends are hot, but they don't need to like them.

40:02 Drew I think it's ultimately, no, no, no, it's more than that. No, no, Adam, because you sort of achieve success with a guy, your guy friends, when they think your partner is hot and a pain in the ass. That's the, that's the, that's the. Really?

40:15 Adam Why the pain in the ass?

40:17 Drew Have you?

40:18 Adam You're just covering yourself for your old pain in the ass.

40:20 Caller What?

40:21 Adam What are you kidding? No, not pain in the ass. Here's the measure of a guy, a guy, you want your buddies to think your wife or your girlfriend or your partner is attractive.

40:33 Drew And that's it.

40:33 Adam You don't really care if they think she's the greatest thing ever. You want to think she's nice and she's good looking.

40:38 Drew And most male friends do look at their girlfriends as a pain in the ass because it takes the guy away from his little pack. And they're jealous. They don't like that. They all get that way. They all get a little bit sort of testy about the girlfriends.

40:53 Adam Especially when you got the real McCoy there. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Sisqo, I'm sure, is listening now and on his way to the radio stage for the second time this evening. Anderson will soon live this one down. He sent Sisqo away at 8.30. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

41:39 Caller This is Pam O'Reilly, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

41:45 Adam There's our girl. Female, female impersonator, Drew calls her.

41:50 Drew That is what she is.

41:51 Adam Smartest thing Drew's ever said. I always, I always, I give you credit for that one. I really think that was a rare glimpse of wisdom, Drew, for me.

42:03 Drew There's women that do that. A lot of women do that.

42:05 Adam Female, female impersonators.

42:07 Drew They adorn themselves with the trappings of female.

42:10 Adam Yeah.

42:10 Drew As a way of fetishizing their bodies.

42:12 Caller Yeah.

42:13 Drew And as that.

42:14 Adam To me, yeah, yeah, she's got those sexy sweatpants and muckwalks she wears every night with them.

42:21 Caller Hey.

42:23 Adam I mean, you're beautiful the way you are, baby. You get all dolled up.

42:28 Caller Look like a.

42:29 Drew Not like that. Not like that.

42:31 She does.

42:32 Drew She does the hair color and the great haircuts and stuff.

42:35 Adam Yeah. But all women do that. Just about all women do that.

42:39 She does that right, though.

42:41 Drew You know what I mean? You mean some women overdo it. It's not female.

42:44 Adam Female.

42:44 Drew No, I'm saying it does not do that. I mean, I know if you see, she said that.

42:49 Caller All right, buddy.

42:50 Adam But the real are over here tonight.

42:52 Drew Relax.

42:54 Adam I saw a chick today wearing a flannel shirt in the trucker's vest with a sort of mullet haircut. And I always think, I think to myself, even if you're a dyke and I don't even think this woman was, what's in it for you as a woman to dress like a man? You know what I mean? Socially, what does that get you? What is that good for? She's wearing like the clod stomp or boots in the trucker's vest. And I was just looking at her. She was on the lot today when I was walking around. And I just thought she was young, you know, 24, 25, wasn't an unattractive woman. But I think what is in it for you? And I want to like go to her and go, honey, you don't see me wearing a smart blouse skirt combo and some pumps, you know? Don't dress like a guy. Why do you do it?

43:37 Drew You know, that's acting out.

43:39 Adam I know.

43:39 Drew Give me name that past history.

43:41 Adam All right. I'm going to get into it. David.

43:44 Caller Yeah.

43:46 Drew Yeah, David.

43:47 Adam You're 14. What's up?

43:48 Caller Yeah, I was riding in the marathon with my brother and I had to stop at 12 miles.

43:53 Adam The LA Marathon?

43:55 Caller Yeah.

43:56 Drew And you were riding a bicycle?

43:57 Caller Yeah.

43:58 Drew Why'd you stop?

43:59 Caller Because my groins are hurting. Like, my legs are hurting real bad.

44:03 Drew Okay.

44:04 Adam Yeah. Why do you ride your bike in that?

44:08 Drew What did they do?

44:09 Caller Well, they start you off, like, kind of like, sooner before the people run.

44:13 Adam I see. You know, what do they have now in that marathon? They got running. They got walking. They got bikes. They got wheelchair. What are they going to open up to land yachts and snowmobiles?

44:24 Caller They have, like, skateboarding, too. They have all kinds of stuff. I don't know.

44:28 Adam To me, it kind of ruins it. To me, a marathon was you ran 26.4 miles or whatever it was, and that was it. They got some guy going by in a wheelchair, another guy on a bike. All right. So anyway, your nads started hurting?

44:44 Caller Now I can't get in the direction.

44:45 Caller Oh. Nothing.

44:48 Drew Well, did you notice any numbness or anything like that?

44:52 Caller Yeah. When I got off my bike, my legs hurt.

44:54 Drew What was with your bike seat? Was it real firm, real hard?

44:56 Adam Just a post.

44:57 Drew Yeah. Just a post?

44:59 Caller No.

45:00 Drew Well, you can damage the pudendal nerve, which is the nerve that supplies nerve input to the penis. And bicycle injuries are a very common way for that to happen. So, usually, it recurs in a few... I mean, it repairs itself in a few weeks spontaneously. So, this should come back in a couple of weeks.

45:19 Adam Now, what if he pedaled backwards? Could he reverse the damage?

45:22 Drew No. Afraid not.

45:24 Caller Hmm.

45:25 Adam Fascinating. Michelle?

45:28 Yeah?

45:29 Adam You're 17?

45:30 Caller Uh-huh.

45:31 Adam What's up?

45:32 Caller Well, I was wondering, because me and my mom, we haven't gotten along for, like, the longest times that I can remember. And I don't understand why or anything.

45:40 Caller Yeah? Hmm.

45:41 Adam Where's your dad?

45:42 Caller He's here.

45:43 Adam How do you get along with him?

45:45 Caller Yeah, I get along with him fine.

45:46 Drew Do you tell him about feeling picked on?

45:48 Caller Oh, he knows about it. He, like, used to cover up for me and stuff. Then, like, my mom would just yell at me about it later.

45:54 Drew What does your mom say about this special relationship?

45:58 Caller Oh, no, she said, I'm a daddy's girl.

46:00 Drew So she's jealous?

46:01 Caller I don't know. She, like, she favors my brother and my sisters.

46:05 Adam Yeah, but every kid thinks that.

46:08 Caller No, I mean, she seriously does. She, like, when I was little and stuff, she'd always make me when I'd go sit in the living room to sit and watch TV or something. She'd make me go to my room. There wasn't a lot out to watch TV with any of them or anything.

46:20 Adam Yeah, but I bet if we talked to your brothers and your sisters, they'd say they were the ones that were singled out.

46:27 Drew Or that was only after you smacked one of your sisters, and that was the routine sort of punishment for that kind of thing.

46:33 Adam Well, let's not drop it all in Michelle's lap, even though that's what I started doing. Hey, Michelle, why don't you talk to your dad since you get along with the guy and sort of plead with him about your mom.

46:46 Drew But you've got to make it clear to your parents that you really, you're not just kidding about feeling picked on, you truly, deeply feel like there's something wrong here. Now, whether or not there is or not is sort of not what's important. What's important is you have this feeling, and they owe it to you to address it.

47:00 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you what goes on. I noticed it. I did it myself growing up. So did my sister. Basically, your parents fail you growing up for a while, and then the rest, it's done. You shut down. You stop talking to them, and you misinterpret everything. Yeah. My sister hated my dad's guts.

47:20 Drew No matter what he did.

47:21 Adam Oh, my sister was, you know, 31. And my dad would say, Hey, how about we get together for dinner? And then, you know, and I'd talk to him and he'd say, Yeah, yeah, she didn't want to go. And then I talked to her and she'd be like, He canceled.

47:38 Drew How dare he?

47:39 Adam Yeah. And I realized once you get it going, you get it going. I mean, it went on for 20 years. You know, I mean, you know, my parents were sort of done screwing us up by the time we were 12. We just, you know, we took over from there.

47:52 Drew You kept it going. You did a good job, by the way.

47:53 Adam Thank you.

47:54 Drew I commend you. Yes. Yeah.

47:55 Adam You kept it going.

47:56 Drew You can keep that flag alive.

47:57 Adam Thank you. Yeah. It's like the eternal flame.

47:59 Drew Carrying a torch, yeah.

48:02 Adam Well, who says I don't have follow through? Let's go to break. All right. We'll be back.

48:07 Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

48:48 Adam Yep. Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Well, Sisqo was supposed to come in tonight, and he did. He came in. We should have... Hey, Anderson, next time a guy comes in an hour and a half early, record him, put him on the air. I came in at eight o'clock, Anderson told him he was way early, and he should go out and get a bite or something, and come back later. And that was two days ago, so we haven't seen him. I hope he's all right. And I don't know, maybe some confusion, maybe not. I don't know. We'll go on with the calls, and if he does show up... He'll show up. I'm going to stay till here until 12.30 in case he comes along.

49:33 Nice.

49:33 Adam Robert?

49:35 Yes.

49:35 Adam You're 19.

49:37 Caller Yes.

49:38 Adam What's up?

49:40 Caller Uh, I've been with a relationship with a, my girlfriend for about a year, and, um, I thought we had a pretty good relationship, but she, uh, um, she kind of caught me, you know, basically masturbating.

49:56 Drew Basically.

49:56 Caller And she thinks that that was really, really weird. And, um...

50:01 Drew Depends on what you're doing.

50:03 Caller I beg your pardon?

50:03 Drew What were you doing?

50:05 Caller I was masturbating at a time when we, you know, when we weren't having sex.

50:10 Drew How did, how, just can you just...

50:11 Adam See, so you weren't actually in her at the time?

50:14 Caller No, no, I mean, you know...

50:16 Adam Write that down. That's important.

50:17 Caller She just kind of walked in.

50:18 Adam I see.

50:19 Drew In your bedroom, or...?

50:20 Caller Yeah.

50:21 Caller Yeah.

50:23 Caller And, um, you know, we have sex fairly often. Until then, that has happened. And she doesn't like having sex as often as I'd like to. So periodically, I do that.

50:34 Adam I see, but...

50:34 Caller And she really comes off making that sound like it's really weird.

50:37 Adam Hey, Robert, let me ask you a couple quick questions. You two live together?

50:42 Caller Yes.

50:43 Adam You do live together?

50:45 Caller Yes. For about a year.

50:46 Adam For about a year? All right. And, uh, what is she good for a week sexually?

50:54 Caller Oh, once a week.

50:56 Adam Once a week. And that's not enough for you?

50:58 Drew And you've told her that's not enough?

51:00 Caller Well, she gets the idea. I mean, she, you know, I, I get told no sometimes. There's not the right time.

51:07 Adam But I mean, weren't you scared? Yeah. Was there a part of you that wanted her to catch you masturbating, to sort of send a message to her?

51:17 Caller Oh, absolutely not. No.

51:18 Adam No?

51:19 Caller No.

51:19 Adam Well, how did she catch you?

51:22 Caller Just because I didn't, I was, I was in the bedroom and I didn't realize she was on her way, you know, home and just walked in, you know, just don't get on the path.

51:30 Adam OK. I always wonder with people, it's like you're at home, you're in the bedroom. Someone walks through the front door, you know, and locks the door, throws the keys in the purse down. How do you not pull it together before they come into the bedroom? You know?

51:45 Caller Well, I like I said, I didn't hear her come in and I was in the bedroom and I've done it before. I don't hold to that. All right. All right.

51:52 Adam Well, listen, she's freaked out about this. And I'm guessing she's this is kind of connected to her being freaked out about sex in general. You got to tell her to relax.

52:04 Drew Here's the reality. All men will man. You can play a tape recording of this for her. All men will masturbate even when they're having regular sex.

52:11 Caller Yeah. She doesn't believe that. And I've tried to.

52:14 Drew That's true. And if a guy is asking you to keep up with his needs and that's not consistent with what you want to do, then he has to. And if he doesn't masturbate, you got a problem.

52:26 Adam Yeah.

52:27 Drew And you got to lay off guys when they just are taking care of themselves in order to sort of match up the sexual needs of their partner.

52:35 Adam I'll tell you, she should be happy.

52:37 Drew Yeah, she should be, hey, good. You're not bugging me. You're trying to be respectful of what my rhythm is. Yeah. That's that.

52:45 Adam Please stop wiping yourself with my stuffed animals.

52:48 Drew And my pillow.

52:49 Adam Other than that, I have no real problem with it.

52:52 Caller And of course, some people would just probably ought to go do something else with somebody else, too.

52:58 Drew Absolutely. Men do that.

53:00 Caller Sure.

53:01 Drew No, they do. Men do that.

53:03 Adam She doesn't believe me.

53:04 Caller So I wonder how I could find that out if there's some documentation or some articles that-

53:11 Drew Yes, the documentation is we hear about this every night. They'll tell you to listen to the show. A call will come through eventually.

53:17 Adam No, listen.

53:18 Drew We're going to break down all this.

53:20 Adam Robert, this is not Inherit the Wind, for Christ's sake. It's a court movie, right? You don't have to show up with your legal team and win a court battle with her. No. This is not what it's about. You just have to sit down and talk to her. And listen, she's got some issues.

53:39 Drew Oh, yes. She's got some energy.

53:41 Adam When women- You show me a woman who looks at masturbating as cheating. You show me a woman who freaks out because a guy's got a playboy under the mattress and thinks he loves that magazine more than me or he's cheating with the magazine. I'm going to show you someone who's got some issues. And these are the same issues that translate into once a week instead of three times a week at 18 or 19. Look into those issues. You'll find your answer. Don't argue over the masturbation. All right, Micaiah, Micaiah, how do you pronounce your name?

54:18 Caller Natalia.

54:19 Drew Natalia.

54:20 Caller Yes.

54:21 Adam Wait, spell it.

54:24 Caller Oh, hey, I'm just so excited to talk to Adam. And it's Christine Pien is there.

54:30 Adam Thank you. How do you spell? How do you spell your name?

54:33 Caller N-A-T-A-Y-A.

54:35 Caller Natalia.

54:37 Caller It's a pretty name.

54:37 Caller That's what I want to name my daughters. But that's not my real name. But you know, you should know that anyway.

54:43 Caller Yeah.

54:44 Caller Hello, Drew.

54:45 Drew Natalia.

54:46 Adam What's up, baby?

54:48 Caller Hey, I was going to ask you a question right quick. When I have sex with my fiance, sex is going great, but it's like in a certain position down or towards my anal, then my clitoris says, your grandma says, or whatever. Let's call it.

55:06 Adam She says, clitoris.

55:08 Caller Clitoris.

55:08 Yeah.

55:10 Adam That's right. Let's call the whole thing off.

55:14 Caller Sorry, grandma. No. Like a burn, but it's very uncomfortable. You know what I mean?

55:21 Drew Like it's a chap chafing.

55:24 Caller Actually, yeah. Like it's like a little bitty cut.

55:27 Drew Yeah.

55:27 Caller Three or four little cut little bitty ones. You know, it's like a like a little sting kind of this is every time you have this. Um, yes. And I have frequent say some like about four times a week.

55:37 Drew And once you let them once you take some hot baths and lay off for about a week and see if that doesn't heal up. Maybe you'll put a little quartet on there.

55:46 Adam Is this Rosanne Rosanna Dana?

55:49 Caller Excuse me.

55:49 Caller OK.

55:50 Adam Timely.

55:51 Caller No, at all.

55:52 Caller All right.

55:53 Adam What's your nationality?

55:55 Caller I'm an Hispanic.

55:56 Caller All right.

55:57 Adam Good times.

55:58 Caller Yes, I have a black man. It's me.

56:00 Adam Yeah, takes all kinds.

56:03 Caller Can I ask you another question? I quit.

56:05 Drew Sure.

56:05 Caller Yeah. He also has what's McCullough a cut on his penis. Oh, you know, and I really need to know this because like a year ago I had a abnormal pattern.

56:17 Drew Yeah.

56:17 Caller And I was scared of my what am I? You know, I was scared of my what I was going to, you know, the answer. So I didn't go.

56:24 Drew Oh, my God. Listen, Natalia, this could now progress to cancer. You got to go. And this cut on his penis could be herpes, frankly, and you're getting kind of a little herpetic type thing going there, sounds like. Somebody needs to look at that, make sure it's not herpes, and you've got to get that cancer taken out. And I'm saying it that way to impress upon you that abnormal cells become cancer.

56:49 Adam Now she's really not going.

56:50 Drew And if you don't take them out, you die. Young women die of cervical cancer.

56:56 Caller And you think the symptoms I'm having, you think they're my bloodline?

57:00 Drew I have nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it. You had an abnormal pap, you didn't follow up properly. Hopefully it's not a big deal, but you've got to follow up. And we'll see whether or not that little area where the bottom of the vagina is called the foreshad, and we'll see whether that is herpes or not. But somebody needs to look at that.

57:19 Caller And you think I could have gave something to him?

57:22 Adam Yeah, yeah. Listen, listen.

57:24 Caller He has a cut.

57:25 Adam All right. Hey, hey, baby.

57:27 Caller I'm shaking.

57:29 Adam Listen, why don't you shake that vagina right over to the gynecologist's office and let him have a look-see? You goofball.

57:36 Drew We can't tell you anything for sure.

57:38 Adam You don't have any kids, do you?

57:40 Caller Oh, no. I don't believe that. I don't think I can have kids.

57:42 Adam Good. I bet you can.

57:45 Caller I bet I can, but I don't want to.

57:47 Adam Listen, you...

57:48 Caller I've been through a lot of stuff.

57:49 Adam Yeah, use protection. Do you hear me?

57:53 Caller Yeah.

57:53 Adam No, you're not using birth control.

57:56 Caller I'm really not.

57:56 Adam Oh. I know. Use birth control.

57:59 Drew You've got to see the doctor. Tomorrow, first thing. Promise me.

58:02 Adam You can get pregnant. Do you hear me?

58:05 Drew No, no. You will get pregnant.

58:08 Adam All right. Go to the gynecologist, all right?

58:11 Drew Just any doctor. Please see a doctor.

58:12 Adam All right.

58:13 Drew Public exam.

58:14 Adam What year are we living in here? What did she call from like the deep south, the turn of the century? What decade? What century did she call from?

58:25 Drew It's amazing how common that all is.

58:28 Adam Really?

58:28 Drew Oh, yes.

58:30 Adam Let me tell you something. You have an abnormal pap smear and then you don't come back because you don't want to hear the answer? That ain't great thinking.

58:37 Drew No.

58:37 Adam That's why, if I'm a gynecologist, I tag my patients.

58:42 Drew A caribou?

58:43 Adam Like a caribou. I put a little Hohmann beacon on their ear.

58:45 Drew A rail or something?

58:47 Adam Well, not all of them. But you get an abnormal pap smear and I look at you as someone who, like a felon that may run, I get that bounty out. I tag you up.

59:00 Drew Nice.

59:01 Adam Then I can get my guys in their jeep and track you down if I have to. Save you from yourself.

59:06 Drew You don't use the helicopters anymore?

59:07 Adam Too expensive. Government cut back.

59:11 Caller Yeah. Yeah. This is Michele.

59:16 Adam Okay.

59:16 Drew What's going on?

59:17 Adam You're 18.

59:18 Caller Yeah.

59:19 Caller My question for you guys was, my dad right now is on dialysis. And he's still drinking and smoking and doing, like, all the things that he's not supposed to do, eating all the wrong foods and stuff like that.

59:32 Drew Wow.

59:33 Caller And totally I'm not dealing with it very well at all. And like, I'm trying to like tell him, you know, no, you can't do that. And I'm trying to get him to stop. And he's not.

59:43 Drew Have you told him that you don't want to lose your father?

59:45 Caller Yeah. Like, I was like, don't you care at all? You know, don't you care about seeing your kids grow up?

59:50 Drew Cause you know, don't you care about how I feel?

59:53 Caller Well, I said that too. Okay.

59:56 Drew How about talking to his doctors?

59:58 Caller Oh, I'm so nervous. He's been on dialysis for a year.

1:00:04 Drew Why would you be nervous about talking to his doctors?

1:00:06 Caller Well, cause I don't want them to like stop his treatment or something, you know?

1:00:10 Drew No, they're not gonna stop his treatment. You need to help them.

1:00:13 Adam Be ironic if they kill them though, because you ratted them out.

1:00:16 Drew No, you need to help them do their job. They're used to patients being non-compliant. That's a common thing.

1:00:23 Caller Shouldn't they know?

1:00:24 Drew They probably do know, but they need family to help them do their job.

1:00:28 Adam They need to follow them home.

1:00:29 Drew Yeah, they need to communicate, they need to hear what's going on. You need to hear what they've got to say, ways that you can help them, help him.

1:00:38 Adam Let me ask about this dialysis. That says kidneys aren't functioning.

1:00:42 Drew Right.

1:00:43 Caller Because he was an alcoholic.

1:00:44 Drew Well, so he has end-stage liver disease.

1:00:47 Caller Right. He has tons of problems, high blood pressure and...

1:00:52 Drew What blew the kidneys? High blood pressure or liver disease?

1:00:55 Caller High blood pressure.

1:00:56 Drew Okay.

1:00:56 Adam All right. So the kidneys stop functioning or don't function...

1:01:00 Drew At all.

1:01:00 Adam What? When you're on dialysis, is it because your kidneys aren't functioning at all? Or because it's functioning at 20%?

1:01:08 Drew No, essentially. I mean, there is a tiny amount of urine produced, but it's essentially... Consider it not at all.

1:01:14 Adam Now, what do your kidneys do?

1:01:16 Drew They filter the blood.

1:01:17 Adam So the blood...

1:01:18 Drew Take out nitrogenous waste, manage acid base, fluid electrolytes.

1:01:23 Adam And then that comes out in the form of urine?

1:01:26 Drew Balanced urine, yeah.

1:01:27 Adam What about the Duke?

1:01:29 Drew Duke is a different system.

1:01:31 Adam No kidney. Kidney, just urine.

1:01:32 Drew Just urine.

1:01:33 Adam And it's a filter. When that closes down, obviously there's trouble.

1:01:37 Drew You can't get rid of fluid. You start accumulating fluid. You can get sodium. You get acidotic. Acid builds up in your system. I mean, it's tons of things.

1:01:44 Adam So you go on dialysis.

1:01:46 Drew It filters it out.

1:01:47 Adam Do you go once a week, once a day?

1:01:49 Drew Usually three times a week.

1:01:51 Caller Yeah, he goes three times a week for like eight hours.

1:01:54 Adam Now, he's on it for eight hours.

1:01:56 Drew It's like two, three hours. You sit in a chair.

1:01:58 Adam Yeah. Now, does he feel as if he has to urinate?

1:02:01 Drew No. No, blood comes in. It's a...

1:02:04 Adam No, I know. I know that. I mean...

1:02:06 Caller The marks on his arm would be like similar to like, I don't know, like tracts when a hair went out.

1:02:11 Drew Yeah.

1:02:13 Adam No, I understand that. But what I mean is, is he not urinating or he's urinating the same amount of fluid. It's just not being filtered.

1:02:21 Drew There is such a thing as that, but most people do not urinate.

1:02:24 Adam They do not urinate.

1:02:25 Drew A few cc's a day, that's it.

1:02:26 Adam Would you feel as if you had to urinate?

1:02:28 Drew No, there's no urine coming down the pike.

1:02:30 Adam Nothing being produced.

1:02:31 Drew It's all, and whatever might have been produced is being now taken out by the dialysis.

1:02:35 Adam Right. Now, aren't they coming out with like home dialysis things and stuff, stuff you can bring home with you?

1:02:41 Drew Sure.

1:02:42 Adam But you got to stop the smoking, the boozing and the bad food.

1:02:47 Drew Yeah. The booze and the food is the main thing.

1:02:50 Adam Why the food?

1:02:51 Drew Because, again, it's the fluid, fluid balance. You got to be able to balance what goes in, because things can get out of line really easily.

1:02:59 Adam Special diet?

1:03:00 Drew Sodium, potassium get out of line, yeah.

1:03:02 Caller All right. Oh boy.

1:03:04 Adam This poor chick's been a nursed or a drunken dad her whole life.

1:03:10 Drew That's the problem here.

1:03:11 Adam Mikal, please, don't hook up with some alcoholic dude you're taking care of after your dad goes.

1:03:16 Drew That's why I want her to hook up with the doctors because she cannot take care of him. She's so invested in being the one that takes care of him is going to save his life. No, no, no. She needs to go to Al-Anon. She needs to let go. She needs to work with the doctors.

1:03:27 Adam All right. Angel?

1:03:29 Caller Yes.

1:03:30 Adam What's up?

1:03:32 Caller I have a problem where I could pick up on people's thoughts. I've had it since I was a little kid. I just never understood what it was. Just till now, I'm realizing what it is.

1:03:45 Drew Do you hear voices?

1:03:47 Caller I hear voices in my head. I couldn't make 40 words of it since I was a little boy. Now, I'm realizing that it's people's thoughts that I pick up on.

1:03:55 Adam Yeah. I'm picking up on some stuff, too, like if you work at a stereo store or something. What's going on back there?

1:04:01 Caller Excuse me?

1:04:02 Adam What's going on in the background?

1:04:03 Caller Well, actually, it's a factory, so there's a lot of noise.

1:04:09 Adam Is there a phone you could get to that isn't quite as loud?

1:04:12 Caller I'm on a pay phone because we're not allowed to make calls from our work phone.

1:04:17 Adam I see. All right. And can you tell what I'm thinking right now?

1:04:22 Caller Oh, it's people around me. I always pick up on their thoughts. And I've been in trouble for people who have had problems with me and I've picked up on their thoughts and I've been right. And before people tell me what's going on, they're not really new because I for some reason, I picked up on their thoughts.

1:04:39 Adam Yeah. But a lot of people can do that. Like I've always known, like when I've gotten fired from a job and the boss called me in, I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking.

1:04:49 Drew Yeah. Understanding what people are thinking is different than actually hearing voices.

1:04:53 Caller No, I mean, it's like-

1:04:54 Drew And hearing voices-

1:04:55 Caller I hear voices in my head.

1:04:56 Drew I don't know. But hearing voices is a serious medical problem.

1:04:59 Caller Right. I mean, I've seen a psychologist before when I was younger. And I don't think I had a problem with that. I mean, I don't think I have a mental problem. It's just-

1:05:09 Drew Well, if you're hearing voices, you do. Your brain is not working right if you're hearing voices.

1:05:13 Caller Do you think I have a mental problem?

1:05:15 Drew If you're hearing voices, that is an absolute sign of problems.

1:05:19 Caller It's like the smallest, like those thoughts that I don't pick- The thoughts that I don't listen to in my head are those thoughts that I could hear people because I've caught people in the act of doing something wrong to me. And I've never caught them before.

1:05:35 Adam Yeah, okay. Like who did something wrong to you?

1:05:38 Caller No, they were going to do something to my car.

1:05:40 Drew Do you ever think the TV or the radio is speaking directly to you?

1:05:44 Caller No. No, I don't have those type of problems. I don't think I'm insane or something. I mean, it's just something that I've realized. Now I've really came to realize that I have that and I can pick up on people's thoughts. I really can't pick up on people's thoughts.

1:05:57 Drew So you're intuitive and you understand sort of, you pick up on what people are thinking just by looking at them?

1:06:02 Caller The really, really, really slightest voices in my head that I could really pick up but I can't actually pick up.

1:06:07 Adam Alright, listen, Angel, you could be schizophrenic or at least mildly schizophrenic.

1:06:14 Drew If you're hearing voices.

1:06:15 Adam You understand?

1:06:16 Caller Right.

1:06:17 Adam And it comes on to guys that are your age.

1:06:19 Caller Right.

1:06:20 Adam So you got to get back to the psychiatrist slash psychologist.

1:06:25 Drew Get treatment.

1:06:26 Adam And see what's going on.

1:06:29 Drew That's it.

1:06:29 Adam Unless you work in a factory that guys on the squawk box all day long. You're stuffed in between a bunch of people. Lots of thoughts going on.

1:06:39 Drew Good times.

1:06:40 Adam Let me ask you, let me just make this proclamation on here, Drew. Whenever, and this is my entire life, I've been presented with somebody, whether it be a phone call or in person, where somebody can read minds or thoughts. Is it, does it ever pay off? Does it ever pay off? You know what I mean? I talk to the dead. I can see the future. I can hear what people are thinking. Okay. What am I thinking? Well, I can't, it's like, does it ever, is there ever, do they ever give you a straight answer? Do they ever, you know, do the people who can see the future?

1:07:17 Drew I had one that-

1:07:18 Adam Why don't you go down to the track and win yourself some money? Well, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, I know.

1:07:23 Drew When Kennedy, I had that pilot. They had, Kennedy likes this kind of stuff. And-

1:07:27 Adam Yeah, because she's a hypochondriac.

1:07:29 Drew Yeah, and so we had this sort of Claire Warren person where she was seeing angels or something. And then, and she goes, congratulations on your show. And I go, well, it's just a pilot. And she goes, no, it's a show. No, no, it isn't. No, it's a pilot. And you know, if you went back and talked to her, she'd go, well, I saw that you'd be on a show. You're on a show, Mars Venus, see? You're on a show. I told you, the show.

1:07:50 Adam Yeah, we had a clairvoyant chick up here on Valentine's Day. Was it our Halloween? When the hell was that? Valentine's, I think, just a few weeks back. Drew was, magically had disappeared. That's his powers.

1:08:04 Drew Wasn't I with Michael Jackson?

1:08:06 Adam I don't know who, what big celebrity, what A-list celebrity you were with, but you certainly weren't with B slash C Corolla. You're truly over here. But the point is, is let me tell you how these people work. A couple of things she did, and I noticed, it's a con game. And if they believe it, then they're nuts. I'm not saying, I'm not calling them liars because some of them are crazy, but they do stuff like this. I was telling Anderson about this. I don't think I talked about it on the air. She, I said to her jokingly at the top of the show, yeah, maybe I haven't had too much tragedy in my life, but maybe we'll contact my Kent Norman who passed away. And later on in the show, just during the commercial about an hour later, she said, who's Norman? And I said, you mean Norman the Cat? No, not Norman the Cat. There's another Norman in your life, an important Norman, maybe growing up, uncle, grandfather, I'm getting a Norman. Very strong, I'm hearing the voice Norman. And I said, no, just a cat. And she said, yeah, no, not the cat. Not talking about Norman the Cat that you grew up with. But another Norman in my life. Well, she's doing the math. She's playing the odds.

1:09:17 Drew Yeah. You, you name the cat.

1:09:18 Adam Who the hell has a cat? Who, what, what seven year old has a cat named Norman who didn't name it after the grandfather or some uncle that died in the war or some family friend, who in the hell would name their cat Norman?

1:09:32 Drew Yeah.

1:09:33 Adam Well, let me tell you who. My sister for no reason. And I said to her, I never met, I don't know a Norman and I never did. And there was no one in my family. Norman fell from, he was the original Mr. Roper on, on Three's Company. That's a, that's a closest Norman in my life. And she's like, no, there's a, no, drop it. You're going the wrong, you're playing a hunch. I mean, you're playing an angle, not a hunch. Smart, 80% didn't pay off. Then later on she started with the, she said to me during another commercial, so what do you, you know what they do? They talk to you conversationally as if it's sort of nothing and then later bring it up. She said, you're very, very funny. Do some writing? I said, yeah, I, I, I do some writing. And so later on in the show, she was like, you've got, there's a project, there's some project, some project you've been peddling around, it just fell through. Some TV project just fell through. Well, again, she's playing the odds. She figures, I'm a TV, I'm a writer, I'm a struggling writer, a budding writer. I'm out pitching ideas out, trying to get meetings all day and had some sitcom or some spec script or something that fell through. What she doesn't know is, I don't write those scripts. I work on the man show all day and I, nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could fall through. She said something fell through. I said, no, no it didn't. I'm just starting on 26 man shows. You think about it. No, I'm not going to think about it. She said, she said, I said, nothing fell through. She said, that's your opinion. And then this is when, this is when you're glad you weren't here because I got a long contract. I said, no, that's not my opinion. That's the truth. You tell me the earth is flat and I tell you it's round. I mean, my opinion, don't pass that off that way. That's the truth. And I'm telling you nothing fell through. But again, they talk to you. They get little bits and pieces. This guy's a writer. He had a cat named Norman.

1:11:39 Drew But they also use the plasticity of your own thinking. Like, if you think about it, you'll figure out what I mean. Of course, you could make meaning out of almost anything anybody says.

1:11:49 Adam I see a vowel. You know someone with a vowel in their name?

1:11:53 Drew You think about it.

1:11:54 Adam You think? Yeah, I mean, she would say like, the initials J and A. Is that what you're saying? No. Think about it. I don't know anybody. What's it mean? No. Okay, you think about it. You haven't thought of it. Now it's your fault. I'm an idiot. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, speak to Tanya. She used a vibrator a month ago. It's been bleeding ever since. I think she just put it in her side.

1:12:20 Drew All right. We'll see after this.

1:12:23 Caller Hello, this is Loveline.

1:12:26 1-800-LOVE-191, Loveline will be right back.

1:12:50 Adam Hey, yeah, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that'd be Dr. Drew. Sisqo's coming in here.

1:13:01 Drew Any minute now.

1:13:02 Adam Just a couple of shakes of a lamb's tail. Sisqo should be in the studio anytime now. So until Sisqo rolls in here, let's just take a call.

1:13:14 Drew I think he's got something to say. And?

1:13:17 Caller Well, conveniently, the publicist has the phone turned off.

1:13:20 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

1:13:21 Caller I see.

1:13:22 Drew There you go. I think somehow it'll be your fault that he knew he was supposed to be here. Remember them wanting to be picked up at 530 and stuff?

1:13:32 Caller Yeah.

1:13:33 Adam All right. Sisqo's not here.

1:13:34 Drew Something in that piece of it that's going to come out.

1:13:38 Adam Well, I'll tell you, do you want to take a chance and go to the phones or you just want to wait it out? I mean, I don't want to get into a call and him walk in.

1:13:45 Drew Just wait a couple of minutes.

1:13:46 Adam Just wait a couple of beats?

1:13:50 Caller Wait a minute.

1:13:52 Adam I think I heard something. No.

1:13:56 Drew That's it.

1:13:57 Adam You want to give her a few more beats?

1:13:59 Drew What do you think?

1:14:03 Adam Well, let's just take a quick call.

1:14:04 Drew Okay.

1:14:05 Adam Okay. And if he comes in, we'll just put her on hold.

1:14:08 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Or just hang up.

1:14:10 Adam Or just hang up. Okay. Well, real fast. Tanya.

1:14:13 Caller Yes.

1:14:14 Adam Let's get that question before Sisqo comes bounding into the studio.

1:14:17 Caller All right. About a month ago, my husband purchased a vibrator. And I've never used one before.

1:14:23 Caller And so anyway, we used it.

1:14:25 Caller And ever since then, I've been bleeding. And I don't understand why.

1:14:29 Drew What did you do with this thing?

1:14:31 Adam Not bleeding from the gums or the vagina?

1:14:34 Caller The vagina.

1:14:35 Caller I see.

1:14:36 Drew Are you having any pelvic pain?

1:14:38 Caller No. Well, maybe a little bit, like I'm a little bit bloated.

1:14:42 Drew Are you on new medication, birth control pills, anything like that?

1:14:45 Caller No. I've had my tubes tied. And I do have an ovary that is enlarged. That was my last, my doctor's appointment that I went to last month. That's what he said. And we'll just keep an eye on it. But I don't understand why I would still be bleeding after a month. It's almost like I can't really tell when my period's gonna come on now.

1:15:03 Drew Has it stopped and started and stopped and started and bleeding continuously the entire time?

1:15:08 Caller It's been like the first two weeks.

1:15:10 Caller It was a gush of blood.

1:15:12 Caller But now it's kind of like a real light orange tint. But it continues.

1:15:16 Drew Well, maybe that enlarged ovary is a cyst and maybe the cyst is causing some instability on the lining of the uterus. And that's that. You do need to go back and follow with your doctor. I can virtually guarantee you this has nothing to do with the vibrator. I guess there's a potential there being some infection may be introduced by that, but really remote.

1:15:32 Caller OK.

1:15:32 Drew So go back and check out what's going on here.

1:15:34 Caller Thank you very much.

1:15:36 Adam Did he wipe the thing down before he used it on you?

1:15:38 Caller Yeah, he did. He's really good about that kind of stuff.

1:15:41 Adam Those things are touched by thousands of Asians before they get to your vagina.

1:15:45 Caller Oh, God.

1:15:46 Adam You understand that?

1:15:46 Drew You were just in a factory, right? Excuse me?

1:15:49 Adam Asian children.

1:15:50 Caller No, don't tell me that.

1:15:51 Adam Yes. Oh, yeah.

1:15:52 Drew No, wait. You were in a factory in North Hollywood or something, right?

1:15:55 Adam Yes.

1:15:55 Caller No, no.

1:15:56 Drew No, no. Tanya, listen, Adam done a little research here recently.

1:15:59 Caller We're from Kansas, so try to joke about that one.

1:16:04 Adam Yeah, well, you're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. I'm not saying, Drew is not saying that you were at a vibrator factory.

1:16:12 Caller No.

1:16:13 Adam He was saying that I was at a vibrator factory.

1:16:15 Caller Yeah.

1:16:16 Adam Yes. Yes, I was.

1:16:17 Drew How was that?

1:16:19 Adam Good times.

1:16:20 Drew Is it like when you're a kid and you go to the bakery and when you leave, they give you some baked goods to take home with you?

1:16:23 Adam They did actually give us a fun pack and they do a little tote. This is stocking stuffer for the kids and this place invented something called Virtual Skin.

1:16:37 Drew Oh my God.

1:16:38 Adam It basically feels like a person.

1:16:43 Drew Oh my God.

1:16:44 Adam And let me tell you something, folks. You think your choice is between butt plugs, vibrators and dildos? Oh no. You have not begun to scratch the surface. I mean, there are literally...

1:16:59 Drew Technology is really taking over here, huh?

1:17:01 Adam Hundreds of different devices. Hundreds.

1:17:05 Drew Why so many? It seems so pretty simple.

1:17:08 Adam But just think about, think about free market enterprise and the United States and entrepreneurism and all that. You know what I mean? It just keeps going.

1:17:18 Drew It's all under one roof. It's one factory.

1:17:20 Adam It's inflatable dolls. It's stuff that's like one probes up your ass. The other one's up your hooch, you know. I mean, it is just stuff you add water to, stuff that is like a tickler's on it. It's just stuff that will hook on your car battery. I mean, there are so many devices. And because technology is at a point where they can take this stuff and shrink it down now, it works. I mean, they have this, like, this is the sort of realistic feeling skin thing they gave me. It's basically, you just put your Johnson into it. It's like a rock tumbler for your dork. You just plug your penis right into the thing. It's just like turning and pulsating. It's like stuff's got like fluid in it. It's like pumps and I mean, it's crazy. And even those porn stars who are in there, who have the real representations of their anatomy. I mean, I talked to the guy who plugged the anus.

1:18:25 Drew Plugged it?

1:18:26 Adam Well, it's like when they pour the, you know, when they make a mold of your ass and vagina.

1:18:34 Drew Oh, no.

1:18:35 Adam They got to plug up that anus and they got to plug up the vagina, too, or you're going to kill you with.

1:18:40 Drew You mean seal over. OK, yeah. You mean like, I mean, a mold of the inside.

1:18:45 Adam Well, you got to plug it so the stuff doesn't run in there.

1:18:48 Drew I see.

1:18:51 Adam And they put a straw in your ass so you can breathe.

1:18:53 Drew And what this guy say?

1:18:56 Adam He liked his job.

1:18:59 Drew Is he like some 60 year old?

1:19:01 Adam It was funny.

1:19:02 Drew I got to be your guy.

1:19:03 Adam That was like a young man. It was like a middle aged Mexican guy. I mean, look, I came off a ranch and I remember saying to the guy, I said, listen, can't they just plug their own anus? And he's like, well, I suppose. But then I couldn't do it. I started laughing. I was like, all right. Oh, yeah, you make a pretty good point there.

1:19:26 Drew Good times.

1:19:27 Adam Yeah, good times.

1:19:27 Drew Oh my God.

1:19:30 Adam It is a surreal experience. It's all probably illegal aliens. You know, it looks like a sweatshop, right? It's just all Hispanic workers. And it's just women handling piles of buttplugs and just they might as well be working on handlebar grips at a motorcycle factory. You know what I mean? It's that kind of thing. No one's laughing. It's just big piles of vibrators and buttplugs, you know. So your job is to sew hair onto the fake vagina.

1:20:00 Drew Imagine.

1:20:01 Adam I mean, I am not exaggerating. There were 200 different separate items and crazy, crazy.

1:20:11 Drew It's like, well, imagine if you actually let in what you were handling. You'd laugh so hard you'd pee. You just wouldn't be able to stand it.

1:20:18 Adam It's like this vagina, this is Jenna Jameson's actual vagina. This hair on it is a simulated hair. The guy who ran the factory originally started in the aerospace industry. He must be a polymer chemist or something.

1:20:36 Drew His parents must be proud after sending him to MIT.

1:20:39 Adam Yeah, he was like, he was like, I go to the Far East to do research on this stuff every year. I looked at him, I said, what can't you write off? You know what I mean? In your profession, sat in Bangkok whore house for four hours. I'm writing that off. It was like, what can't you write off? All right. Anyway, it was bizarre and surreal.

1:21:09 Caller Mike?

1:21:11 Caller Hello?

1:21:11 Adam You're 25. Make it fast. Sisqo should be in any second now.

1:21:14 Caller Okay. Well, earlier today, girlfriend and I had sex, broke the condom, and I was wondering about the morning after pill, what kind of side effects they might have, things like that, and if we can get it without a prescription.

1:21:27 Drew If we can get what?

1:21:28 Caller The morning after pill.

1:21:29 Drew Yeah, what about it?

1:21:31 Caller Is there any side effects? Can we get it without a prescription? If we can, where?

1:21:35 Drew You can't get it without a prescription in California.

1:21:37 Caller Cannot?

1:21:38 Drew Cannot. There's any doctor can write you that prescription, and even some would be willing to do it over the phone, I would suspect.

1:21:44 Caller How long do we have before?

1:21:46 Drew You have 72 hours.

1:21:47 Caller 72 hours.

1:21:48 Drew And the first 24 hours, it has the highest probability of being effective. In 48 hours, it's about 70% or so. 60%, excuse me. And I beg your pardon, 80%. And then about the day three, it's about 70%.

1:22:01 Caller Okay.

1:22:01 Adam Not in California.

1:22:03 Caller What are my options?

1:22:04 Drew That you go call a doctor, go to the emergency center, whatever, get the damn pill. Get the morning after pill. It's no big deal. The preventant tends to cause a little bit of nausea. The Plan B less so. All can cause a little bit of bleeding. It's no big deal. It's very safe. It acts by suppressing ovulation. If your girlfriend has already ovulated, for whatever reason, if chance has it that she's already released an egg, she's probably going to get pregnant. But if she hasn't, this pill will prevent that egg from being released. Just like your birth control pill used normally.

1:22:37 Adam Yeah. I'm still shocked and dismayed that they don't just have that in California over the counter. And one more quick note on the dildo factory. He said they can't ship them to Alabama. You know, there's certain places in the south, I don't know, Kentucky, Alabama, places like that, some parts of Florida. It's illegal to ship them. I said, yeah, but you know the thing that's ironic about that dildo is if it had an eight-round clip in it and fired a bullet, you probably then could ship it to Alabama. And he said, that's not a bad idea. Oh, good times. All right, we will take ourselves a little break. We're going to talk to Laura when we come back.

1:23:22 Drew No, Nicole, Nicole.

1:23:23 Adam Oh, we will? OK, we'll talk to Nicole. She was raped and her family blames her for it. We'll get to that after this.

1:23:34 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready.

1:24:04 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew. Waiting on Sisqo to come in to the studio. Should be here any second now. See if we can get those questions lined up for Sisqo. Anyone want to call the show, got a question about thongs or thongs or something, you just call in and talk to Sisqo. I'm sure by the time you get online here, he'll not be in the studio. Probably just grab himself a couple of joe before he heads in. He's going to settle in. You want to risk taking another call?

1:24:34 Caller Yeah.

1:24:35 Adam Just squeeze it in real fast?

1:24:36 Drew Quick, quick, come on, come on.

1:24:37 Adam You sure you don't want to?

1:24:38 Caller Okay.

1:24:38 Drew You might want to.

1:24:39 Adam Here we go. Nicole?

1:24:41 Caller Yeah.

1:24:42 Adam You're 18?

1:24:43 Caller Yeah.

1:24:43 Adam You were raped?

1:24:45 Caller Yeah.

1:24:45 Adam Who raped you?

1:24:46 Caller My sister, it was her boyfriend at the time.

1:24:49 Drew How long ago?

1:24:50 Caller It was August 25th, three days before my birthday, my 18th birthday.

1:24:57 Drew 2000. Yeah. Okay.

1:24:58 Caller Yeah. And I had just moved from Kentucky with my other sister to live with my other sister. Thinking this situation, my living situation will be much better because she gave me like freedom and stuff like that.

1:25:10 Drew What was going on in the situation in which you left?

1:25:15 Caller It was like, she, my sister, she tried to be my mother, protect me all the time. She wouldn't let me go anywhere. I couldn't stand out at my friend's house. I had to be at home every night.

1:25:24 Drew What was your relationship like with your mother?

1:25:27 Caller I was the baby. She died when I was nine years old.

1:25:31 Drew What happened to her?

1:25:32 Caller She was a drug addict. He had got a hold of some bad stuff.

1:25:36 Drew We got the picture. Where's your dad? He'll excuse the expression of your father.

1:25:41 Caller He's a crackhead.

1:25:43 Caller Hopefully, he's dead. That's how I feel about it.

1:25:45 Drew Did he sexually abuse you?

1:25:47 Caller He has 13 kids and we don't know him. We know him but we don't know him.

1:25:52 Drew Did any other males ever do anything bad to you?

1:25:56 Caller They're all too protective. I never had a life. I was like the rebellious little girl, 14 years old, sexually active and all that stuff like that. But it's not like I went out and slept with a whole bunch of guys. I've only slept with three guys in my whole life. That's fine. That's fine, including the guy that raped me.

1:26:14 Adam That's two less than Drew, by the way.

1:26:17 Caller Yeah. And it's like when I turned 16, I developed really fast from 16 to 18. I went from a C to a double D.

1:26:25 Adam Good times, baby.

1:26:27 Caller Thanks. And so they're like, she's all sexually active. She's led and all the stuff like that. Yeah.

1:26:32 Drew So just because the way you look, you're now being judged.

1:26:34 Caller Yeah. And so I go live with my sister. And it's like me and my nephews and nieces, we're all play for. I'm like a big old kid. They call me tomboy. So we're in the front room wrestling and my sister's boyfriend, him and his cousins walks in and we all start wrestling. And it was a girl. It was my friends was there. And, you know, I didn't think anything of it. So later on that night, when the kids are in their room, sleeping and my sister's at work, he starts pushing me around. And I thought it's funny. So, you know, I started hitting with pillows and then he pushed me hard one time. And my sister had to put a table in her house and a front room with these little chairs to it. And I hit my head on the back of it. And like when I woke back up, he was like on top of me and I kept trying to scoot back or whatever.

1:27:17 Drew You were actually unconscious?

1:27:19 Caller Yeah.

1:27:19 Drew You need to go to the doctor. Do you understand that?

1:27:21 Caller Yeah. I've been getting migraines ever since. I don't have any insurance. I don't even know how to drive. They won't do, teach me anything.

1:27:28 Drew All right. All right.

1:27:29 Adam Nicole, did you call the cops?

1:27:32 Caller The reason I didn't was because my sister is suicidal. She's tried to kill herself six times in one year over this dude.

1:27:39 Drew Over this dude. Oh, great. Yeah.

1:27:41 Adam Who could lose all that?

1:27:43 Caller So I figured I can just hold this in till I graduate and go away to college and just leave it like that.

1:27:48 Drew That's actually kind of a good instinct there.

1:27:50 Adam Are you going to graduate and go away to college?

1:27:52 Caller I have a 3.9 GPA. I'm a valedictorian. And I graduate May 9th and I'm going to Rhode Island, California, anywhere but Oklahoma or Texas.

1:28:02 Adam Hold on, 3.9, that's almost a 4. That's not very good, a 4? That's out of 10, right?

1:28:08 Caller No, the highest you can get is 4.0.

1:28:11 Adam Holy Christ! Did you take the SATs?

1:28:15 Caller I don't have to. I'm going to college to be a chef. They were like, you don't have to.

1:28:18 Caller You're already accepted. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:28:20 Drew You're going what?

1:28:20 Caller I'm going to college to be a pastry chef.

1:28:23 Adam Huh. Oh, really?

1:28:24 Drew Where in California would you go?

1:28:25 Adam You gotta have a dream.

1:28:27 Caller California Culinary Academy.

1:28:28 Drew Where's that?

1:28:30 Caller I'm not for sure. I forgot. And then there's Johnson & Wales in Florida, Miami, Florida. And then Providence, Rhode Island.

1:28:38 Drew All right.

1:28:38 Adam Be careful, though. You're going to be like 900 pounds by the time you're 25.

1:28:43 Drew No, it's in Pasadena.

1:28:44 Adam Pastry chef.

1:28:45 Caller We'll see. The thing is, lately, it's like at first when it happened, I gained like a cup, like 5, 10 pounds. Yeah. But now it's like I don't think about it anymore and I'm like that and I'll drop like those pounds at night time when I do think about it and make a mess. So I just started doing exercise. It's like, oh, this is great.

1:29:04 Drew All right.

1:29:04 Adam Well, listen, Nicole, Nicole. OK, listen, your whole life has been a mess. But you know what? You got a good spirit to you, which is nice.

1:29:15 Drew Resilient.

1:29:15 Adam Because you could really be a mess right now.

1:29:19 Caller You know, that's their problem.

1:29:20 Caller They're like, why didn't you tell anybody? Why didn't you cry? I mean, like this. It's like my mom died when I was nine. My grandmother died when I was ten. Oh, those last few years, I've had like ten friends die from this and stuff like that. And I'm like, I've cried too much to cry. I'm like, this is just one more thing that didn't happen.

1:29:38 Drew All right.

1:29:39 Adam Listen, you go, you graduate, you pack your.

1:29:43 Drew Yes.

1:29:45 Adam No, I was going to say your pastry bag. That's the stuff they shoot the frosting out of.

1:29:51 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:29:52 Adam You have frosting bag and head to California and go bake yourself up a storm and don't look back and don't have any kids for a while. And please and eventually get some counseling and all that kind of stuff, but just take care of yourself and get far away from that.

1:30:09 Caller Family.

1:30:12 Adam And just ran out of the room. Is Sisqo here?

1:30:15 Caller Oh, no, you got to be kidding me.

1:30:17 Adam You got to be kidding me. Melissa.

1:30:20 Caller Yeah.

1:30:20 Adam You're 26.

1:30:21 Caller Yeah.

1:30:22 Adam We're going to make it fast because I think Sisqo. Sisqo's in the hissy. No, no.

1:30:29 Drew False alarm.

1:30:31 Adam Could could have been the ghost of Sisqo is here. Melissa.

1:30:36 Drew Move fast.

1:30:36 Caller I'm here.

1:30:37 Adam You're 20. You're you're you're 26.

1:30:41 Caller Correct.

1:30:42 Drew What's going on?

1:30:43 Adam Yeah. I haven't seen and move that fast since the plumber told me she's going to shut off the water to the house. Melissa. Yeah. Go ahead, baby. I'm sorry.

1:30:52 Caller Okay. My question to you is I will not allow myself to have an orgasm.

1:30:58 Adam Good. Very good.

1:31:00 Caller Well, no, it's not good. It's frustrating.

1:31:02 Adam I see.

1:31:02 Drew So why don't you go ahead and do it?

1:31:04 Caller Well, I don't know. And that's why I thought maybe you guys could tell me why.

1:31:09 Adam Have you ever had an orgasm?

1:31:10 Caller Yes.

1:31:11 Adam Did you start crying?

1:31:13 Caller Yes. It freaked me out.

1:31:15 Drew Mm hmm.

1:31:16 Adam Did somebody do something weird to you growing up?

1:31:18 Caller I was molested.

1:31:20 Drew There you go.

1:31:21 Adam Well, that was record time. We got right to it. Yeah.

1:31:24 Caller Well, there you go.

1:31:25 Adam Good times.

1:31:26 Drew Why don't you go to some treatment?

1:31:28 Caller Well, I've been through something. It doesn't seem to help.

1:31:30 Drew How many years were you involved in treatment?

1:31:33 Caller With what?

1:31:33 Caller With treatment for four years.

1:31:37 Adam Touché there, Drew. Well, you're going to need more.

1:31:40 Caller Oh, okay.

1:31:41 Adam Well, and listen, let me tell you something. It's treatment plus action.

1:31:48 Drew Yeah. You got to change.

1:31:49 Caller Well, and I have. I mean, I'm married and I have three children. And when I met my husband, I was approved. I would go to bed with sweats on a T-shirt. I mean, and he had to stay on the other side of the bed and I had to stay on the other side. And now I can wear song underwear and go to bed in a T-shirt or go to bed naked and it's okay.

1:32:06 Drew But you lost the ability to have an orgasm.

1:32:08 Caller Yeah, I just he's the only person I've ever been able to have an orgasm with my husband. But now that I know that I can, I stop it. Okay.

1:32:16 Drew Well, some kind of control. You're angry about something. You angry about something with your husband?

1:32:21 Caller No, I'm scared.

1:32:22 Drew Of what?

1:32:23 Caller I don't know.

1:32:24 Adam Well, she's scared. She's gonna, you know, the floodgates will open up and she'll have some kind of flashback. What? How long were you molested for?

1:32:33 Caller Um, on and off a lot. My uncle did it for me. My mother's boyfriends. It was a lot of people.

1:32:40 Adam A lot of people.

1:32:41 Drew Mom's dad have him.

1:32:43 Caller Not my dad. My father never did anything to my mother's boyfriends. Yeah.

1:32:47 Drew That's why she got rid of your dad.

1:32:49 Caller Yeah.

1:32:49 Drew And she got boyfriends. Your dad wasn't abusive enough.

1:32:51 Caller No, not at all.

1:32:52 Adam How does she know? You know your grandfather?

1:32:55 Caller Yes.

1:32:56 Adam What did he do to your mom?

1:32:58 Caller Physically and mentally very abusive.

1:33:00 Adam Yeah.

1:33:01 Drew And sexually, I promise.

1:33:02 Adam Is he dead?

1:33:03 Caller No, he's alive and I hate him.

1:33:05 Adam That's too bad.

1:33:06 Drew Well, maybe there's an opportunity here to really torture someone.

1:33:08 Adam I'd love just to put a knife in that guy's ear.

1:33:12 Caller I would too.

1:33:12 Adam I really would. All right. Melissa?

1:33:14 Caller Yes.

1:33:15 Adam On behalf of your three children?

1:33:18 Caller Yes.

1:33:18 Adam And by the way, that's enough?

1:33:20 Caller I know. My husband got fixed.

1:33:22 Adam Good. Three children, get back in the therapy and start working because they will pick up this vibe. That's what's going wrong with this country. Melissa sounded all right, but listen, three, this is a woman who's been severely traumatized who is going to have issues and needs to deal with them on behalf of the children. All right.

1:33:49 Drew Drew, break. You want to take one more? Okay, take two.

1:33:53 Caller All right.

1:33:55 Adam Kelsey.

1:33:57 Drew Kelsey. She's sleeping.

1:34:01 Adam She's been on hold for 12 minutes.

1:34:03 Drew It's late. Kelsey.

1:34:04 Caller Kelsa.

1:34:06 Adam Kelsa.

1:34:07 Caller Kelsa. Yeah.

1:34:08 Adam All right, Kelsa.

1:34:10 Drew What's going on? We have one minute.

1:34:11 Caller Well, I'm really like super duper flat tested. I mean, I'm like flat as a board and I'm almost 20 and I don't think there's anything that's going to happen.

1:34:20 Caller Like, they're not going to get any better.

1:34:22 Caller So I'm wondering if it would be safe to get implants. Like, I mean, if I'm super duper flat chested, I mean, like literally.

1:34:29 Adam OK, baby, come on. I got Jack off later.

1:34:31 Drew Well, somehow what it's doing to me. I mean, having a flat chest, add risk to the procedure in some way.

1:34:36 Caller Well, I'm just wondering if it will work. I mean, otherwise, yes, it will work. I'm a really attractive girl.

1:34:42 Drew Yes, it will work. That's why women get those implants.

1:34:45 Caller But does the skin even stretch?

1:34:47 Adam Yeah, they'll work it out. But hey, listen, Kelsa, don't go bigger than, you know, a B-cup.

1:34:55 Caller A B-cup?

1:34:56 Adam Don't step it up too much because you step up and then it really looks weird. Looks like you took a couple of rice bowls and turned them over on your chest because your skin is tight and it's sort of flat.

1:35:09 Drew It's not thick like, what was her name?

1:35:12 Adam Minka?

1:35:12 Drew Minka.

1:35:14 Adam You know why I can accommodate large, big boob? My skin is thick. My dermatologists tell me most women, their skin, nine mil thick. My skin, twenty seven mil. It's so thick it can hold up more. I push small car in chest. No problem. We take break.

1:35:37 Drew That she is.

1:35:39 Adam That's why I'm number one Asian big boob queen. 22 hours?

1:36:33 Drew Yeah, good.

1:36:34 Adam All right.

1:36:35 Drew Good call.

1:36:35 Adam And then we'll be back. So until next time, Adam Crawford, Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:41 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, March 7, 2001