Episode 1000754887116

2:58 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Loveline, coast to coast.

3:09 Adam Hey, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. This is Loveline, the Billboard Syndicated Show of the Year for the second year running, right, Drew?

3:18 Drew There's been a great celebration of that fact.

3:24 Adam Yeah. You know, you know how it affects our life, winning it two years in a row, Drew?

3:30 Drew It points out to us that nobody gives a good crap about us.

3:33 Adam That's right. Because we never hear anything or read anything. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-FACTS, number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight we have Padra Brewster, Larry Joe Campbell and Jon Cryer, all from the Trouble with Normal. New sitcom on ABC. Friday Nights, 8.30 and debuted last Friday. I saw it and I for one enjoyed it. Thank you.

4:05 Guest Don't say that defensively. Let's go to the phone. I enjoyed it. You gotta work on your intonation there.

4:13 Adam I enjoyed it.

4:13 Guest What? What? So shoot me.

4:16 Adam So sue me. I liked it.

4:17 Okay?

4:18 Adam Okay. I was drunk, but I thought it was good. Drew, you know, I sit home Friday nights and watch TV, right?

4:27 Drew Well, have you continued to even since they took Sabrina off?

4:30 Adam Yes. Yes. I because I light a candle and have a silent vigil. Not only that, but step by step is really the show.

4:39 Oh, no.

4:40 Drew Your weekend is shot.

4:42 Guest I can't believe we're basically dancing on the grave or step by step.

4:46 Adam You really are.

4:46 Guest It was step by step.

4:48 Adam How dare you?

4:49 Guest I know. Excuse me.

4:50 Guest I apologize.

4:53 Guest That was the Suzanne Summers vehicle. Yeah. With, what's his name?

4:58 Adam Patrick Duffy.

4:59 Guest Patrick, a man from Atlantis.

5:00 Adam Oh, my goodness. There's a winner.

5:02 Guest Oh, yeah. And Sasha Heifetz. No, Sasha Rachel.

5:08 Adam Oh, boy. Now you're digging deep now onto the roster of step by step.

5:12 Guest Hey, I'm going on who wants to be a millionaire one of these days, and I'm going to win.

5:16 Adam I have said this many a time with Step by Step, which was, you know, that show ran for like eight or nine seasons. And people on season number seven must have gone to Suzanne Summers and said, Do you ever want to get back into television and you're doing a primetime series or are you just pretty much content with the infomercials and ride it out that way? I mean, how many people, you figure, went to Suzanne Summers and says, You want to go back into a sitcom when she's in year seven of a primetime series? How uncomfortable must that have been?

5:47 Guest Nobody saw that show.

5:48 Guest Who watched?

5:49 Adam I watched. Friday night.

5:51 Guest You were the one. Giving me a bunch of guff for not knowing what it was.

5:53 Adam TGIFNF.

5:55 Guest While America Slept, that show ran for seven years. Seven years.

5:58 Adam The Trouble with Normal is, well, basically, why don't you guys explain it? I could explain it. I could explain it. I could explain it.

6:08 Guest I'd love to hear your explanation.

6:10 Adam Well, okay, okay.

6:11 Guest The laymen.

6:13 Adam There's four guys and they're all pretty whacked out, but in a TV way. Not in a real slit your throat. I'm a junkie and I have very bad skin way. But that, I think I'm Napoleon way.

6:26 Guest Uh-huh. Yes.

6:27 Adam I've said to Drew many a time, think what a utopia this would be if we could get, you know, crazy people could go back to thinking they were Napoleon. You know what I mean? Instead of attacking you at the ATM and putting like a rusty shiv in your side, they would just walk around with that big hat with the tassels hanging off it. Planning on invading Russia. You know, I mean, those were the days where crazy people just thought they were Napoleon. But these are four crazy guys and Paget is this social worker, therapist, way too good looking for a therapist.

7:01 Guest Oh, he did see the show.

7:02 Adam Way, way.

7:04 Guest Hey, excuse me, I have a hot therapist. I just want to say that. I've not seen her in a couple of months and she's concerned. She called me with this concerned thing saying...

7:13 Adam Move in tighter on the mic.

7:14 Guest Oh, I'm sorry, I'm... Is this tight enough for you?

7:17 Guest Jon's talking about his hot therapist.

7:21 Adam Your personal therapist is hot.

7:23 Guest My personal therapist. Distracting? No, oddly. It makes it titillating.

7:30 Oh, but do you really tell her the truth?

7:33 Guest Yes, I do. And that's actually kind of arousing as well. I'm actually telling this attractive woman the truth. Are we talking about in real life?

7:43 Adam Yeah, in real life. Yeah. My therapist is attractive too. If he could just shave his beard, I think we could really start something. Hey, Drew, I was at the therapist on Tuesday. You'd be glad to know I promised him I'd read a book or at least go get a book sometime during the week.

8:04 Drew I know you'd get the book. You won't read it.

8:06 Adam I know, but I just got to get it, get it, please.

8:08 Drew I understand. I told you to discuss your compulsive masturbation.

8:12 Adam Oh, how dare you speak that way in front of our guests. You realize how long the ride is going to be home with Jon Cryer. I picked up Jon and drove him here tonight, by the way.

8:24 Guest Not out of love, but out of the fact that I'm across the street.

8:28 Adam Yes, more out of gravity than out of love because Jon lives directly across the street from me.

8:34 Drew I'm so sorry, Jon. I'm so sorry.

8:36 Adam Jon, have you had any trouble with me?

8:37 Guest I've had no problem other than you walking around shirtless behind the hedge so that it leaves to the imagination whether you're wearing pants or not.

8:46 Adam It's like a Benny Hill sketch.

8:48 Guest Exactly.

8:48 Adam I stand behind the hedge in water and Jon's lovely wife looks at me and lets her vivid imagination run wild.

8:58 Guest This is like one of those movies on Showtime at 2 a.m., you know.

9:01 Guest Anyway, so at home you pretend Sarah is your therapist and she pretends you're Adam Carolla. Yeah.

9:10 That is loud.

9:12 Adam No, I'm a quiet man. I keep to myself. You don't hear any loud music playing. I don't.

9:17 Guest I haven't heard the screaming of the woman that you're stowing in the basement.

9:23 Adam That's because I drug the hookers before I bring them up to the house. I'm bludgeoning them. I run a very tight ship.

9:29 Guest The chainsaws only happen between nine and ten at night.

9:36 Adam You know, I'm down in my garage a lot when you drive around. I'm a very, very homey guy.

9:42 Guest Exactly.

9:42 Adam Thank you.

9:43 Drew?

9:45 Yeah.

9:47 Adam You got a call figured out?

9:48 Drew You know, I'm working like crazy trying to get this stuff up on the computer screen.

9:52 Guest I can't get it. Can I ask him a question while he's working on the computer?

9:55 Adam You want to ask Drew a question?

9:56 Guest Yeah, seriously? Isn't it bad if you're attracted to your therapist?

10:00 Drew No, it's completely normal. That's a part of the process. It's coming up against all that. Yeah, that's part of the transference. Therapists must hold that boundary. That's why when therapists act out sexually with their patients, it's such an awful violation. It's such a terrible, destructive part. It's what you'd call iatrogenesis. I mean, it really causes more harm than they could ever do good.

10:22 Guest Yeah, that's what I'd call it. I'd call it atrogenesis. What the hell that you just said.

10:28 Adam Yeah, I know. Because if you ever got a BJ from her, you'd be ruined. Emotional cripple for the rest of your life, right?

10:35 Guest Yes, yes. It would be a nice few minutes, but then an emotional handicapped parking for me for the rest of my life.

10:43 Drew All right. Yeah?

10:44 Adam I'm just going to take these lines. Drew's in San Francisco, by the way.

10:47 Drew They're fabulous. Live 105.

10:50 Adam Right.

10:51 Drew They're great up here. They have good coffee, nice people, beautiful equipment. It's like a real radio station.

10:56 Adam Okay. Fantastic. So we're going to go right down. I'm just going to start at line one. We'll just go in chronological order. Devin? Devin?

11:07 I am the great Gorgonio.

11:08 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ.

11:10 You will give me TV from my phone.

11:13 Adam All right. Can I hang up on you? All right. I'm hanging up on you.

11:18 Drew That's a good start.

11:19 Adam Drew, I'm going from line one down. That's all. Justin?

11:25 Caller Yeah.

11:26 Adam You're 19?

11:27 Caller Yeah.

11:27 Adam What's up?

11:28 Well, let's see. For like maybe a year and a half now, I don't know why, but it's like whenever I get around, like a girl that I like at all, I have like a big problem about talking to her because like it seems like everything I say is just like the stupidest thing in the world.

11:51 Adam Yeah. Well, maybe it is. I mean, maybe it's not just your imagination. Maybe you really are an idiot.

11:57 I wouldn't doubt that, but yeah.

11:59 Adam That's what I'd go with. Stop doubting yourself. You're an idiot.

12:03 Yeah.

12:03 Adam I mean, you're a full-blown jackass. Give yourself some credit.

12:06 Guest This is horrendous.

12:09 Adam Paget, what do you do?

12:11 Guest You're a fine, normal young man.

12:13 Adam But don't do... I mean, women really... They don't like an insecure guy, do they? Be honest.

12:20 Guest No. I mean, no, in the sense that who likes... I mean, everyone is insecure, and yet if you...

12:25 Adam I like an insecure woman.

12:27 Drew It's a man-praying insecure woman.

12:29 Adam I look at that as a weakness, and I look at a woman as not a potential lover, but an opponent. I see that weakness. I see an opening. I try to exploit it.

12:40 Drew So they've progressed from prey to opponent. Yeah.

12:44 Adam Yes. I'm making work in my therapy.

12:47 Guest That's more respectful in some way.

12:49 Adam Right.

12:49 Guest Yes, it is.

12:50 Adam Sir, we shake hands when we're done.

12:53 Guest What kind... Justin, are you still there? Yeah. What kind of things do you say?

12:58 I don't know. It's like sometimes I'll just like my mind will go blank, and I'll just say whatever comes to mind.

13:04 Guest But that's fine.

13:04 Guest That can actually be very charming.

13:06 Yeah.

13:08 You're 19.

13:08 Guest Unless it's stupid.

13:10 Yeah, that happens a lot.

13:12 Guest Okay. Sorry.

13:13 Adam Justin, where are you talking to these women?

13:16 Um, like, I don't know. Everywhere.

13:20 Drew You go to school? You work?

13:22 Um, school.

13:24 Yeah, work. You know.

13:25 Adam Are you a virgin?

13:26 No.

13:27 Oh, you're not?

13:28 How dare you?

13:30 How dare you?

13:33 Adam What happened? I mean, was some chick passed out at a party and you just helped yourself? Or how did it go?

13:40 I don't know.

13:41 Drew I don't know.

13:43 Adam Listen, the ironic thing about a guy calling who says he has difficulty talking to women, he also has some difficulty talking to us, which makes for a bad call.

13:53 Drew Why don't you let the ladies in the studio give him some advice, at least?

13:56 Adam Well, we only have one lady.

13:57 Drew Put Anne's there. Is Anne still there?

13:59 Adam No, Anne's not here tonight. Alright, but good call anyway.

14:02 Guest Larry could do a female voice.

14:03 Adam Larry, do a female voice.

14:05 Guest At least you're talking, Justin.

14:08 Guest That works.

14:09 Adam There you go.

14:10 Guest There you go.

14:11 Adam Listen, don't work on a ramp with women. Paget, you correct me if I'm wrong. Women want to see a guy who's doing his own thing, who's successful, who's busy being successful and living his life and then they will magically find you. But don't go up to a woman with a ramp.

14:29 Guest Right. That's why I would say that a woman, I think, I mean, it's a huge generalization, but I would say I prefer insecure men over overly confident, I've got a ramp.

14:39 Adam But the overly confident guy is more insecure than the insecure guy is.

14:44 Guest Yes, but as far as outwardly insecure, somebody who's kind of stumbling on their words and a little, that can sometimes be humble and charming and self-effacing and cute.

14:55 Adam As long as he shaves his chest and he's built.

14:58 Guest But no, but what if the rap is an insecure rap? I see.

15:06 Guest Oh, you can spot that. Guys do that all the time.

15:09 Guest The fidgety sort of.

15:10 Guest Oh, God, yeah. That they don't think you're so beautiful. They don't know how to talk to you. You can see that. You know they've worked on that.

15:17 Adam Yeah.

15:17 Guest What do you mean they? OK, you're saying me. You people.

15:21 Guest I bet you have. Have you done that?

15:23 Guest Oh, sure. Yeah.

15:24 Guest See?

15:24 Guest Well, you get the spontaneous outburst of, I'm sorry. I've never. I don't know how to. I'm talking to you now, but I'm just beautiful. And I just had to say something.

15:34 Adam But what?

15:34 Guest And what other angles?

15:35 Adam I'm going to play. I mean, if you think about it.

15:38 Guest Well, I could say, you're pretty in pink. You know, that's always a good one. They whip that one out.

15:44 Guest I'm an independent film. That would I'm working on something right now that you might find very interesting.

15:51 Adam I'm casting something my underpants right now.

15:55 Jay. Yeah.

15:57 Adam What's up?

15:57 Hi, Dr. Drew.

15:58 Adam Hi, Adam. Hey, you're 14. What's going on?

16:01 Caller I called last time about, can you get age from pre-cum? And you told me to slow down because I was 14.

16:07 Adam Well, from pre-cum, me and my, I mean, for those of you who don't know what pre-cum is, it's the burst of air that comes out before the scene.

16:17 It's like a Hawaiian blowhole.

16:19 Adam Like, you know, when a whale surfaces, and then the semen comes flying out.

16:26 Guest No, I was, I just was laughing because, because, of course, I get the look from Paget going, and I leap into the breach.

16:34 Guest I think it's the lubricant, right?

16:35 Drew No, it's semen.

16:36 Guest It's semen, but it looks thinner.

16:39 Guest Thinner, oh.

16:40 Drew But it's got lots of, low to a sperm.

16:43 Guest I didn't know that.

16:44 Guest Well, then the answer would be yes.

16:46 Adam And nougaty goodness, I hear as well. Drew was telling me that when he's drunk on the plane. I don't know what he meant by that. Jay?

16:56 Caller Yeah, I meant to say I'm swallowing semen.

16:59 Drew And you told me, yeah, but now there have been a couple of cases where it's now finally been proven that it can be transmitted that way through oral sex.

17:06 Caller Yeah, you told me. And now you, Adam told me to slow down, which I did. Me and my boyfriend have slept together and he's 20 and I want him to get AIDS from pre-COVID.

17:19 Adam Yes, yes, you get AIDS, you get everything. You get cancer from a penis before your 16th birthday if it goes to your mouth. It's true.

17:28 Drew It's considered carcinogen.

17:29 Guest What? That's right. Oh my God.

17:35 Adam I lost my sister that way.

17:37 Guest It's true.

17:38 Guest Yeah. I still don't get the question.

17:42 Well, J is from pre-COVID.

17:45 Guest Yes.

17:45 Guest Oh, yeah.

17:46 Adam Yeah, you get it from everything. Why are you going with this 20-year-old guy?

17:51 Guest Because I love him.

17:52 Adam Oh, really? No, I don't believe you. You're gay. Where's your dad? Drew, please.

17:58 Caller Next door. Yeah.

18:00 Adam Is he a good guy?

18:01 Caller To me?

18:03 Adam No.

18:04 Drew Are you sexually abused as a child?

18:06 Caller No.

18:06 Adam Really? This 20-year-old is a criminal. Do you understand that?

18:12 Drew How old were you when you started having sex with this guy?

18:16 Right before you told me not to, I did.

18:21 Guest I blame Dr. Drew, actually.

18:23 Adam Drew, you want to try another reverse psychology strategy? Listen, it's time to move up to cornhole in young man. You're no longer a child anymore. All right, Jay. I'd like to see some of that. All right. Listen, Jay, listen, this is the kind of thing that you think is good right now, and it feels good, and you're an adult. You feel like an adult and all that. But when you get older and you look back on it, you're going to feel like you're taking advantage of, you're going to regret it, and you're going to...

18:53 Caller I think I was taking advantage, but not really.

18:55 Adam Oh, give yourself a few years. Wait till you get a little bit older and look back on it, and then you're going to feel angry, and you're going to feel ashamed, and you're going to wish you'd listened to us.

19:05 Caller Is verbal abuse like part of my childhood, because my dad is very well abused?

19:10 Drew Yeah. What happens is that if kids are either emotionally, physically, or sexually abused, they become sort of ripe candidates for rape, for childhood sexual abuse. I suspect somebody got their hands on you.

19:23 Caller No.

19:24 Drew I'm not the only child. And I'm not saying that's what rendered you gay, but that's what's got you at 14 going off like this incredible trajectory.

19:33 Caller Alright.

19:33 Adam Hey Jay? Alright. So the last time you called, we told you to slow down. You didn't slow down too much, so would you please listen to us this time and do that?

19:42 Caller I'll try.

19:43 Caller Alright, Jay.

19:44 Caller Bye.

19:44 Caller Alright.

19:45 Drew Good luck, Jay.

19:46 Adam Alright. I don't know why he's calling, by the way.

19:49 Drew Condoms, condoms, I don't know either.

19:51 Adam Yeah, but how big an idiot, how big an a-hole is this 20-year-old?

19:54 Drew Oh, please.

19:54 Adam You know what I mean? It is illegal, right?

19:56 Drew Oh, yeah.

19:57 Adam Oh, yeah.

19:58 Drew Yeah. It's like, whoops.

20:00 Caller Yeah.

20:01 Guest Yes, I'm sure that's what they said. They said, oh, whoops. I just gave him a blowjob. Whoops.

20:07 Whoops.

20:08 Adam Put that on a cart, please. Gino?

20:11 Yeah, what's up?

20:12 Adam You're 29.

20:13 Caller Yes, I am.

20:14 Adam You are. You're perfectly named. What's up?

20:18 Caller I just wanted a couple more opinions on something here. I've been dating a girl for about two months now. It's going on two months. First month. Well, first thing I did wrong, I think, is I showed too many cars too early about some of my, you know, stuff, stuff in my personal life. Nothing bad, but just some, you know, things about my life.

20:36 Adam I know how it is. You mentioned you killed the drifter on the first date and all of a sudden they get all judgmental on you.

20:43 Caller I've made that mistake, but during that first month, things probably got a little bit too hot, too heavy quickly because, you know, we're trying to build a relationship and things aren't solely based on sex. But in the second month, the sex has dropped off quite a bit. And while things aren't totally based on sex, you know, this is not just a platonic relationship. And I'm just wondering, well, how often are you having sex?

21:10 Adam I mean, guys named Gino, I've read the dad on, need twice as much sex as guys named Phil.

21:17 Caller So is that what it is, is my name, man?

21:19 Adam Yeah. Guys named Gino need a lot of loving.

21:24 Caller I mean, we see each other, or at least we at least talk to one another every day. We probably see each other every other day. So maybe like three, four times a week. And it's not, I don't expect sex.

21:32 Guest You're not in the Gino area, my friend. You're actually letting the other Ginos down. You're blowing the Gino curve.

21:40 Guest Well, how many times a week do you have sex with your girlfriend?

21:44 Caller Well, lately, not at all.

21:46 Drew What's the question?

21:47 Adam I have no idea.

21:48 Caller I'm wondering, I don't want to be a jerk about this. I don't want to blow and shoot myself in the foot by trying to press her to, you know, to increase the amount of sexual activity. While at the same time, you know, I do, you know, I am physically attracted to her. And I'm just wondering, you know, maybe a couple more opinions on how to maybe avoid some of that. Is there a way to voice that without being a jerk?

22:11 Adam All right.

22:12 Drew I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

22:13 Adam I do. I do. He, he, he, she doesn't seem all that interested in him, but he wants more love. And we'll talk to Paget about this, which is because she's a very beautiful woman, and I'm sure she gets hounded for sex all the time. Tonight's going to be no different by the way.

22:30 Drew So far it hasn't.

22:33 Adam But women hate being hounded for sex. What they want, if a woman cuts you off sexually, she's looking for you to change your behavior, not bug her for more sex.

22:44 Guest Am I right? Or she wants out.

22:46 Adam Or she wants out.

22:46 Guest It sounds like it's just not a relationship that's working out, and they rushed into it too fast, or he did, or they were trying to, quick, let's make this be an ever-lasting and...

22:55 Adam Yeah, he got a little needy, a little, a little grabby, but either way, he has one card to play, and that's the start being a good guy card, not try to convince her to give him a BJ card.

23:07 Guest Yeah, but he's got a...

23:09 Adam Listen, it's important to pretend like you're listening.

23:11 Guest Yes.

23:14 Adam Jon was telling me that on the ride in.

23:18 Guest His strategy for radio? It's important to pretend you're listening.

23:22 Adam Faint attentiveness, he said.

23:23 Guest Yes, exactly.

23:25 Drew This is what women complain about all the time, is that men aren't romantic, whatever that means to that particular woman.

23:30 Adam Yes.

23:31 Drew And he's got to figure out what that is.

23:33 Adam Right.

23:33 Drew Mostly being available emotionally, and just being attentive, and making people feel special.

23:37 Guest You have to ask, too. You have to say, look, it's not that I need it every minute, but I'm curious, is there something going on that you want to talk about, or?

23:46 Adam No, horrible.

23:48 Guest It works. No, most men would not do that, and that would work.

23:51 Adam That would work.

23:52 Guest Because if she wants out, it gives her the opportunity to say to him, really? This is what's going on, and I don't know if...

23:58 Guest You see?

23:58 Guest Because women are raised to be nice all the time, and don't...

24:01 Guest You see, Adam?

24:02 Adam Yeah, but wait a minute.

24:03 Guest Between that and the sensitive rap, I get over like nothing you've ever seen.

24:08 Adam Do you think GIO is going to be able to pull that off, that conversation, without getting into, come on, whatever money I got my wallet, I'll give you right now, for just a quick reach around. Come on.

24:21 Guest I thought you were going to say BJ again.

24:24 Adam I almost said BJ., but I switched it up on you. Like the great pitcher. You think fastball, I come with curve, and then reach around, and then I throw in a handy, everyone. Just to keep the batters outbound. All right, but I just think guys have to start figuring out what women want, and that's not, that's sex, but not the same way you want it. And what I mean is, you have to start being attentive, you have to start listening, and you have to start being sort of present, and then you'll get something. Maybe. Maybe.

25:03 Guest But then there are some men that would say, if he backs off now and doesn't call her, she'll flip out and think he's moving away, and then she'll come after him.

25:12 Adam So he can do that too.

25:13 Guest Yeah, that's a good one.

25:14 Adam A or B, Gina?

25:15 Guest Don't you think?

25:15 Guest Yeah.

25:16 Guest I hate to say it, but women, they fall for that.

25:18 Adam We'll take a little break. The Trouble with Normal is the name of the show, ABC, Friday nights, 8.30. We have a little more than half the cast here, and we'll be back after this.

25:47 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

26:05 Guest I want his job.

26:07 Adam I just want to know if I wake up at 3 in the afternoon. And then what I do is I get down, I get nude and I hit the yard.

26:15 Guest Exactly, that's what I figured.

26:17 You have the life.

26:18 Adam Jon's wife, Sarah, is usually going out to collect the mail about that time.

26:23 Drew That's what that big shriek is about 3 in the afternoon.

26:27 Guest She secretly digs it, I'm sure.

26:29 Adam Oh, yeah.

26:29 Drew No, I'm sure she doesn't.

26:31 Guest She is the coolest chick on earth.

26:33 Adam Yeah, she really is.

26:34 Drew She really is great.

26:35 Adam We talk through the fence and we always make some plans about getting together, but it never happens.

26:42 Guest That's the great thing because she keeps the link alive and makes sure that it's impossible to actually follow through on.

26:49 Adam One of these days, I'm going to get drunk and get my pellet gun out and do some serious damage. Some serious damage to the Cryer household.

26:57 Guest Just steer clear of the woodwork, okay? The mahogany is tough to replace.

27:01 Adam That is beautiful. Jon lives in a beautiful home up there, Drew. Beautiful mahogany woodwork. Neat. Yeah. Not like that 80s trash you live in. This is real. This ain't the Pergo family hut that you're in over there. This is real old-time craftsmanship. You understand that, Drew?

27:19 Drew I understand.

27:20 Caller Okay.

27:22 Guest Dick.

27:24 Adam Jon Cryer, Larry Joe Campbell, and Pageant Brewster are all here from The Trouble with Normal. Well, that is Friday night. It's 8.30 on ABC, part of the new lineup with the Finnegan Men and the Broom and the Brennigan Trio. What the hell? Two guys and a girl. Two guys and a girl, which is... I like to call it the little show that could because nobody put a lot of stock in that show 14 years ago when it hit the air. I was on that damn show. I guest-starred on that show. Really? Yeah. Hey.

28:02 Guest So did I, actually, once.

28:04 Adam Yeah, I was... I played myself. I wasn't convincing, but I was all over the show. Remember that, Drew?

28:10 Drew Ridiculous.

28:11 Thank you.

28:13 All right.

28:14 Adam And Norm, which is a show I like, not because it's a great show, I just love Norm MacDonald. I really do. And not as a human being. He's a horrible alcoholic gambler. But... Well, he'd admit that. But he's funny. I like the guy.

28:29 Guest I like that Laurie Metcalf, I must say.

28:31 Adam Yes, she's talented. All right, Drew, we ready to keep on rolling here?

28:35 Drew Just keep going one number after the next.

28:37 Adam All right.

28:38 Drew Special order, as you say.

28:39 Adam All right. You don't have your screen up there.

28:41 Drew No, it's driving me insane.

28:42 Adam Same? You're 18. What's up?

28:45 Caller I masturbate once every two to three weeks.

28:49 Guest Oh, congratulations.

28:50 Adam How old are you?

28:51 Guest You could do it more.

28:53 Adam Yeah.

28:53 Caller Yeah. I don't even think about it more. And the worst thing is I'm not having sex or hand jobs, blow jobs, anything.

29:02 Drew How old are you?

29:03 Caller 18.

29:04 Drew 18.

29:05 Guest You just may not have the most pronounced sex drive. That's, you know, I mean, I don't know, Dr. Drew, is there an area that you have to hit, you know, in terms of... No, your belly, I think. I was just going to say, statistically, is there an area you have to hit in order to be a normal human?

29:26 Drew I'm not sure that, I mean, I'm not... That number must be out there, but it's not something that's sort of usually discussed. Oh, wait a minute.

29:33 Guest Well, this is the place to discuss it, if ever there was a place.

29:37 Adam For an 18-year-old once a day, come on. Yeah, I'm scared you have a tumor.

29:43 Drew No, I think twice, two, three times a week.

29:45 Adam Two or three times a week at 18?

29:47 Drew Median average, yeah.

29:48 Adam No way. No way.

29:52 Drew I understand you and your friends were on some sort of holy tear.

29:54 Adam Yes, you'd be thrown... Year after year. You would have been thrown right out of our club and we would have demanded our jacket back. You're no longer one of the Jackers.

30:05 Drew The Jacker Jacket?

30:06 That's right.

30:07 Adam That's right. Rip the stripes right off the lapel, slap you across the face with the gym sock and it's back to your house.

30:16 Drew But is our caller still there?

30:17 Adam Yes.

30:18 Drew Are you on any medication?

30:20 Adam No, I'm not.

30:21 Drew Do you have any medical problems? No. Normal puberty, puberty cannot have normal time, that kind of thing? Your normal height and weight?

30:31 Adam Why don't you get with it a little more? See if you can get a little more momentum with it.

30:35 Drew It depends on the context whether or not it's something medically relevant.

30:38 Guest It might actually keep you from doing a lot of stupid crap because, let me tell you, needing to do it often at that age made me do some stupid stuff.

30:48 Drew And that Jacker group that Anne hung around with became insane. They started, they literally started doing crap.

30:53 Adam That's right. We were crazy. We robbed a sperm bank once. We turned to crime. We needed an insatiable appetite for sperm. You know, it's no different than any drug. That's why they got to legalize it. That's how the mob took over.

31:13 Drew Whatever excrement you could get out of your guy's body and throw at each other.

31:17 Adam That's all.

31:18 I mean, speak easy.

31:22 Guest The Jacker Menace.

31:23 Adam All right, Dr. Drew, how dare you? Jon, you can't see into my house, can you?

31:27 Guest No, because your house is perched high on a hill.

31:30 Adam Yeah, once in a while.

31:30 Guest It's a mine that you can see into.

31:32 Adam I try to make it from the den up the stairs in the nude. And I wonder if Jon is anywhere to be found. All right, where the hell? Chris?

31:45 Yes, sir.

31:46 Adam You're 23.

31:47 Caller Thanks.

31:47 Adam What's up?

31:48 Caller I have a friend who is being physically abused by her ex-boyfriend and she won't press charges or do anything about it. So I want to know if there's anything I can do or anybody I can contact or anything that I can do to help her.

31:59 Adam How is she still having contact with him if it's her ex?

32:02 Caller Well, he's trying to get her back and she's not doing a very good job of ignoring him. So she lets her in his house. She takes rides home from school from him, stuff like that. So when he gets her alone, he knocks her down. He grabs her, puts bruises on her arms, stuff like that. So she's got bruises on her arms and neck and like rib cage and stuff.

32:21 Adam And you're just her friend? Do you like her?

32:23 Caller I dated her for a couple of weeks, but it was too psychotic.

32:26 Adam So I got out and she's all she's chaotic. Yeah, she's got her dad was dad was abusive.

32:32 Caller I don't know.

32:32 Caller But you know, this guy has pushed her down in front of the dad and the dad doesn't do anything.

32:39 Guest Also, the girl must be dealing with something like that because she wouldn't put up with it if it hadn't been reinforced somehow.

32:47 Drew Where do you live?

32:49 Caller What's that?

32:50 Drew Where do you live?

32:50 Caller Sacramento.

32:52 Drew I would suggest you call the police and ask for their help because domestic violence in California is a huge issue. And actually, if you theoretically if you know something like this going on, you have an obligation to report it. Well, I know and that's what I want to do, but I call social services, but I would call police. All right.

33:07 Adam But hold on a second. Can you? Here's my feeling about everyone calling the police for everything. That means less police for me who needs to police every once in a while and who pays more taxes than all you slackers. So stop calling the cops for everyone all the time. Drives me nuts. Cats in the tree, call the cops. The refrigerator, there's that it looks like it's leaking. There's some kind of fluid coming out. OK, get 9-1-1. Get the cops up here. All this domestic stuff. Get out of harm's way. You tell her, Chris, to get away from this guy.

33:41 Caller She doesn't buy it. She won't.

33:42 Adam Well, well, she then to then see if she can go find it. Can you get her steered toward therapy? Because, you know, this is going to continue.

33:51 Caller Yeah, I know. It's going to be a woman's group, survivor group.

33:53 Caller It's going to be somebody else eventually.

33:55 Adam Of course. So as a friend, why don't you try to steer toward some therapy or something like that?

34:00 Caller OK, Drew, I have another quick question for you.

34:02 Drew Yeah.

34:02 Caller Is there any hotline or anything I can call to get a referral for a, like, relationship addiction support group sort of thing?

34:10 Adam Where do you get going? For her?

34:12 Drew What is he looking for?

34:14 Caller I'm looking for, like, a support group for people who, like, can't deal with themselves when they're not in a relationship.

34:22 Caller Oh, oh.

34:23 Adam Is that her still?

34:24 Caller No, that's me.

34:25 Drew Oh, wow. Did you have an addict parent?

34:29 Caller Well, Paula was an alcoholic, but sober when I was probably one and has been perfect ever since.

34:35 Drew I would just say you start with Alan on, because that really helps heal that part that causes that sort of intense need for a relationship to fix you.

34:43 Adam Hey, Chris? We're opening a Sacramento chapter of the Jackers. I don't know if you're... Cut out the right...

34:51 Caller Do I get a jacket? He said.

34:53 Guest You got to earn the jacket.

34:54 Adam You earn the jacket.

34:57 Caller If I can get a jacket, I'm in.

34:58 Adam It's sort of like those gang initiations when all the guys sort of pounce on the other guy, but it's got a little twist at the end. I can't mention a bylaws, so don't permit me for mentioning it over the air, but it's...

35:10 Drew What is the caller's name?

35:11 Adam Call the Twist, you know?

35:14 Drew What's your name, caller?

35:15 Adam Chris.

35:16 Drew Chris. There's also Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous. That is another way of going... Again, it's very cost effective. It's free, and if you get a sponsor and work at the staff, it tends to heal some of this stuff very nicely.

35:27 Caller How do I contact somebody for that?

35:29 Drew I would just check with the local AA.

35:32 Adam Hey Chris, listen, grab yourself, get yourself some help and do what you can for your friend, but if she ain't going for it, she ain't going for it, and part of your work is steering yourself away from helping her.

35:45 Caller Okay, so I mean...

35:46 Adam That's good enough.

35:47 Drew Yeah.

35:48 Adam Please. I mean, Jesus Christ, we're going to go over there. Todd?

35:53 Caller Yeah.

35:53 Adam You're 19. Yeah. What's up?

35:56 Caller Here's what's going on before I even get started. Hello, Adam, Drew, and to your guest.

36:01 Drew Todd.

36:01 Caller Hi.

36:02 Adam Hello.

36:02 Caller Hey.

36:04 Drew All right. Adam, do you figure Todd's going to last till 40?

36:08 Adam Oh, you know, my theory of... Yeah, no man named Todd over the age of 40. So you're all... There's no grandpa, old man Todd. There's no old miner. Would you shut up? Shut up. Idiot. Jesus, people act like I don't have a button that can just cut them off. The best part of this job. Chelsea? Chelsea? Caller goes by the name of Chelsea or 14?

36:34 Yeah, I have a question about herpes. All right. But before I lost my virginity, I've like, I've seen like this blister looking bump on me, like down by my vagina and everything.

36:45 Drew It wasn't herpes though.

36:46 Well, I know, but now like they're worse or something like that. They're like more.

36:51 Drew How old are you now?

36:52 14.

36:53 Drew Hey, Drew, Drew, yeah.

36:55 Adam And do me a favor, grab a scratch pad there and write everyone's name and age down.

36:59 Drew You know what? You go, you say it so quickly, the other people talking sometimes want me to hear.

37:03 Adam Grab the scratch pad anyway.

37:04 Drew I've got it. I've actually got it in front of me. So you are sexually active now? And listen, if you're sexually active, you need to go have a pelvic exam, right? Right? What's that?

37:18 Adam That's where your pelvis gets examined.

37:23 Drew You're at risk for cervical cancers and different diseases because you're sexually active. So it really becomes important now that you begin to have regular gynecologic examinations. No, I think the probability of this being herpes is very remote because it's the same thing you had before you started having sex.

37:40 Adam Well, what do you think it is, Drew?

37:42 Drew Just like a Bartholin cyst or a sebaceous cyst, something like that. She doesn't know what herpes looks like. Yeah, but it should hopefully motivate you to go in and get your regular pap smears because you need to get contraception and you need to get checked, ideally, if you're sexually active.

37:54 Adam How old is the guy you're having sex with?

37:56 I'm not having sex with anybody right now.

37:58 Adam Oh, you just had a little slip-up?

38:02 I guess.

38:05 Adam That's all right.

38:05 Drew How old was he?

38:08 Adam How old was he?

38:09 What, the last person?

38:11 Adam Oh, okay. No, the combined age of the last three guys. Hundred-six. Okay. Listen. Hey, Chelsea? And I'm going to give this message not only out to you, but everyone who calls this goddamn show. I know you think of yourself as some sort of riddle that we want to get to the bottom of. Here's the point. We don't care. I'll hang up on your ass. Start answering questions or we hang up. That's it. I'm not interested. How old is the guy?

38:38 Caller The guy that lost my virginity.

38:40 Adam That's it. I don't care anymore.

38:42 I don't care. Ouch.

38:44 Adam I've been, I've tried and tried.

38:46 Caller All right. All right.

38:46 Adam All right. Yes. The guy who lost your virginity too.

38:49 Caller Okay. He was 14.

38:51 Adam All right.

38:51 Caller And I was 12.

38:52 Adam Oh.

38:53 Caller Ouch. It was two weeks before my 13th birthday.

38:56 Guest Oh, that's better. Okay.

38:58 Adam But it was a week before his 31st birthday, which is different because he was hopping. And what about the last guy?

39:05 Caller The last guy? He was 15.

39:07 Adam All right.

39:08 Guest Well, at least you're in your ballpark. Yeah.

39:11 Guest I mean, but you do want to go and have a gynecological exam.

39:15 Guest Oh, yeah.

39:16 Guest It's it's a little rose bush, honey, and you want to take care of it. That's right.

39:21 Adam You got a weed and seed or something. You got to prune. I don't know what you do. You know, I pruning is once in a while, someone comes over and explains what I'm supposed to do with my rosebushes.

39:34 Guest I'm trying to be tactful.

39:36 Adam No, I know. You're using that as a euphemism for the vagina.

39:41 Guest Yes.

39:41 Adam I appreciate. But I'm actually talking about my hedges and I go, well, what you got to do is, you know, next time it rains, you got to go out at four in the morning and bring. Now, don't use don't use the use tweezers. It's called cross-pollination. I'm going to say, OK, listen, I'm going to go inside and smoke pot. Whatever goes on, goes on out here. Let God do the work. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. The Trouble with Normal is the name of the show. We have most of the cast here tonight. Dr. Drew is in San Francisco doing a mediocre job. And we'll be back after this.

40:19 Ha ha ha ha! You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

40:53 Adam Yeah. Loveline, Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew in San Francisco, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. John, Larry and Paget are all here from The Trouble with Normal, ABC, 830, Friday nights, right after...

41:11 Guest Two Guys and a Girl.

41:11 Adam Two Guys and a Girl, right. And then Trouble with Normal, then...

41:15 Guest Norm.

41:16 Adam Norm, then...

41:18 Guest Madigan.

41:18 Adam Madigan, man.

41:20 Caller That's right.

41:21 Guest No, I love the Irish.

41:23 Adam Right. Sorry, swallowed some. And then... 2020, right?

41:30 Guest Yes.

41:30 Adam Yes. Friday nights, my big TV night.

41:33 Guest Yeah, it was cool. I was on The View and Barbara, actually Barbara Walters, grabbed my hand and said, You're going to make people watch my show, right? Because we were sort of a lead in. And I just felt it was great feeling the cold, clammy hand of Barbara Walters. It was actually very nice, very, very nice.

41:52 Adam Drew, you've done The View more than once, right?

41:54 Drew Yeah.

41:55 Adam I think I've done it once or twice. Did we do it twice?

41:59 Drew I've done it about half a dozen times. Barbara Walters is an amazing person.

42:02 Caller Oh, sure.

42:03 Adam What an individual.

42:04 Caller She is.

42:04 Guest She is very cool. I felt thrilled to be sitting right next to her.

42:07 Adam She wasn't there the two times I did it.

42:10 Drew Conveniently.

42:11 Caller Yeah.

42:12 Drew Great.

42:13 Adam But one of them liked me, right? Who liked me?

42:16 Drew Oh, Debbi.

42:17 Guest Star Jones.

42:18 Drew No, Debbi.

42:19 Adam Oh, the one who is gone now.

42:21 Drew As soon as she professed her love for Adam, she was fired immediately.

42:26 Guest I think just you can't hold it against somebody that they're not very bright.

42:30 Adam No. You talking about Drew or you talking about Adam?

42:33 Drew No.

42:33 Guest Everybody said, oh, she's really dumb. She's really dumb. And I didn't think so, first of all.

42:39 Adam Well, she had the good sense to be attracted to me, number one. So, how dumb. Listen, aren't they looking for a balance? I mean, they want some sort of, they wanted a sort of representation of the general populace. And let me tell you, there's plenty of stupid women out there. So, shouldn't you have at least one represented on your show? And don't you need one to make fun of?

43:00 Guest It's like the Woody Harrelson of The View. She should have been. Absolutely.

43:04 Adam And here's the thing about guys. If there's a doofus guy, he's known as doofus, you know, and made fun of. Where's women? Just quietly fire them.

43:15 Drew Hey, where's doofus? Where's doofus? Like a badge of valor.

43:17 Adam It is true. Hey, doofus, come here. Let me use you like, open this beer bottle with your mouth, doofus. Good. And quit Bogart and the Cheez-Its. You think I work at the Cheez-It factory? Still? Because I did work there, but I got fired for stealing too many Cheez-Its and yelling about working, being the king of the Cheez-Its.

43:43 Drew Line six, Adam.

43:44 Caller All right.

43:45 Adam How dare you interrupt my Cheez-It ref. Jackie?

43:51 Caller Yes.

43:51 Adam Near 18.

43:52 Caller Yes, I am.

43:53 Adam What's up?

43:54 Guest Um, my boyfriend and I have been together for six months. And after about three months, we started having sex. And we lost our virginity to each other. And in the beginning, we had sex a lot of time, all time and stuff. But now it's like he doesn't want to do it anymore, even though he likes it.

44:08 Drew How often?

44:09 Guest Um, well, we about once a week.

44:13 Drew It's just a little below average.

44:14 Adam How old is, well, for an 18, 19. Yeah, 19. That's well below average.

44:19 Drew And again, is he on medications? No, he's not.

44:21 Adam And how long did you say you were together?

44:23 Guest Just six months.

44:25 Adam Yeah, it shouldn't be dropping this fast.

44:26 Guest Yeah, usually that stuff's emotional.

44:28 Drew Usually that's, I, a woman, for a man, not quite so much.

44:33 Guest Uh-huh.

44:33 Guest Well, you see, because I used to initiate it and he didn't like that because he thought I was a bit too forward in that, so I said, okay, fine, you have to initiate it. And so he's like, okay, whatever. That's when it just like stopped. Yeah.

44:45 Adam I tried that to initiate it. And now I did the hand count down in five. Action.

44:55 Caller Action.

44:57 Adam All right. Now that was good for first try, but let's try the initiation again and this time have fun with it. All right. So it didn't work when you cued him to initiate.

45:08 Guest No, I mean, I mean, but the sex was better when he initiated it.

45:13 Adam Sometimes we hit the person with a wicker stick and yell at them initiate. I tend to help. That tends to help. All right. Jack, maybe he's checking out. Maybe he's not so interested in the relationship. I don't know.

45:26 Guest I don't know. Like about two weeks or so before, like our six month anniversary, we got in a real big fight and we almost broke up, but we ended up getting closer at the time and then it was just kind of like we got closer. And then he left for school and it was just bad.

45:40 Drew Okay.

45:40 Adam Hey, Drew, chime in here. Here's the deal. When you get a relationship at 18 or 17 and a half, you have this feeling like it's supposed to go on forever.

45:49 Drew Right.

45:49 Adam But when it starts hitting bumps about six months, and they end up stretching out another year, but really they should just sort of see the signs in the road. He's going off. He's not initiating.

46:02 Drew Yeah. You don't know how to end a relationship at 18. You don't know what the signs are. The relationship is over. You share a fantasy that's going to last forever. Right. And if five years from now, you wouldn't let this relationship last eight weeks. Yeah.

46:13 Guest That big fight you had the other night should have ended with one of you saying, you know, I don't think this is working anymore, but it didn't. And consequently, it's still sort of up in the air.

46:25 Adam But it is true, and it's weird. I mean, remember when you graduated high school, you made all these announcements that you'd be back every month to visit all the teachers. You know, when homecoming rolls around again, you're going to be up there in the stands waving your banner and everything, you know? And it's like that was 16 years ago or something, or 20 years ago, forget it. You know, but you think in a nostalgic way, like a preemptive nostalgia, when you're 17, 18 years old, you're going to keep in touch with everyone.

47:01 Drew Well, it's grandiose. It's omnipotent. Yeah, it's like, this is the best friend.

47:05 Adam Well, I'll never forget you. Yeah, everything's St. Elmo's fire.

47:10 Drew Right.

47:10 Adam It's basically, you're 19. The hands simmer banging away in the background. Who the hell did that thing? The point is...

47:20 Guest It was Parr. It was Michael Parr.

47:22 Adam Oh, Michael Parr.

47:23 Guest Thank you very much. Who wants to be a millionaire? I'm winning.

47:26 Adam Honest Casio in the background. And you think it's all going on?

47:33 Drew Line three.

47:35 Guest I could be a man in motion.

47:36 I need a pair of wheels.

47:38 Adam Yeah, that was hot.

47:41 Guest A guy in a wheelchair, whatever.

47:43 Drew Julia, Julia, Julia.

47:45 Adam You're 19. What's going on?

47:47 My question is for Dr. Drew. I didn't have my period for like a year. And so I went to the doctor and we got some blood tests and my hormones were all weird. My estrogen level was really low, but my pituitary was like normal.

48:01 Drew And so I think you have a prolactin secreting tumor.

48:05 See, he said that I have something because I got an MRI done on my head.

48:09 Drew Right.

48:09 And I have something on my pituitary.

48:12 Drew Right.

48:13 And he couldn't really see it because it's really small right now.

48:16 Drew Those are called micro adenomas and they're usually prolactin secreting. But you haven't been lactating or anything like that.

48:23 Adam Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

48:28 No, I haven't been lactating.

48:29 Caller Okay.

48:31 Adam Well, wait a minute. Is there something that's going on inside of her skull that's creating this?

48:36 Drew Yeah, she's got a little growth in the pituitary and sometimes these can be controlled with medication.

48:41 Well, he said it was really common, but I wasn't because I don't know anybody who has this problem.

48:46 Drew It's a common medical problem. It's uncommon in the sort of out in the real world. But I would suggest you see an endocrinologist and there are those that specialize particularly in pituitary disorders. There's a medicine called Bromocryptine. If this is a prolactin secreting tumor that sometimes when you take, they shrink right down very nicely.

49:01 Guest Okay, honey, get a pencil, endocrinologist, E-N-D-O-C-R-I-N. Because sometimes they also say that there's another one to be a millionaire. Well, no, I'm just saying because he was talking so fast.

49:17 Drew Thanks, Sean.

49:18 Guest No, seriously. No, dude, you were talking really fast. You were talking about it and then the gland will sort of create this prolactin and the blah, blah, blah. And give the girl a chance. She's got to find an endocrinologist for crying out loud. Write it down, woman. Write it down. Okay, I got it.

49:30 Adam A cantaloupe-sized tumor in her brain. How is she supposed to focus?

49:34 Drew They used to actually go after these and surgically remove them. They're less likely to do that. All right.

49:39 Adam Well, they can control medication. Julia, talk to a specialist.

49:44 Okay.

49:45 Drew Endocrine gland specialist.

49:46 Adam All right.

49:47 Well, can it cause problems with having kids later on because they put me on a pill and so I have my period.

49:52 Drew But yeah, they should be able to. No, no, you should be able to have restored fertility.

49:57 Okay.

49:58 Drew Okay. Thank you.

49:59 Adam All right. It drew where those glands all over the place.

50:02 Drew Which ones?

50:02 Adam I don't know. They're always checking your neck. You know what I mean?

50:06 Drew Those are lymph glands. Those are different.

50:07 Adam And then you got the ones under your armpits, right?

50:09 Drew Those are lymph glands. The endocrine system is not lymphatic system. That's very different.

50:13 Guest Well, wait, is the pituitary gland above your ear?

50:17 Drew No, it's right in the middle of your head, right in the middle, like behind your nose kind of.

50:22 Adam Nice. All right. So I could get to it with a chopstick and a 40-ounce.

50:28 Drew And a drill.

50:29 Adam And a drill. I don't want to give way to Wentworth part of the initiation of the Jackers. It has to do with the endocrine gland. It really does. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

50:45 Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191. It's another Buzz moment of madness.

51:00 Adam Here, pull my finger, pull it.

51:02 Caller Ha ha ha ha.

51:03 Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBC Seattle.

51:31 Adam It is Loveline, Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. That Drew is in San Francisco, but he's got the calls lined up on the computer over there. Is that true, Drew?

51:41 Drew That's true.

51:41 Adam Fantastic. Phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. The cast of The Trouble with Normal is here tonight. John Crimer, Larry Joe Campbell, and Paget Brewster are all here, representing the show. Friday nights, 830 ABC. All right, Drew, you got a call? David, you're 16. What's going on?

52:04 Caller Yeah, my girlfriend is turned on by gay porn. And I want to know if that's normal.

52:10 Adam No. No?

52:11 Caller Well, I know it's kind of normal for guys to be attracted to lesbians, although I'm not myself. But I wonder if that was like analogous with girls.

52:18 Adam Hold on. Have you been sucking ether or something tonight?

52:22 Caller I'm just kind of nervous, you know, nation-wide radio. I see.

52:25 Drew It's interesting that she's attracted to gay porn, isn't it, Adam?

52:29 Adam Because David has a little touch of that in his vocal cords. You're gay.

52:34 Caller Hey!

52:35 Adam Hey! Hey, David, are you gay?

52:38 Caller No, I'm not. A little bit? Nervous and gay are easily mistaken for each other. But you know where it goes.

52:45 Adam Right.

52:46 Guest Well, no, it's not normal, I don't think, for women to be into that. But I don't think it's nuts. I mean, some women dig what they dig, you know?

52:54 Guest Right. Sometimes that which is taboo is what turns women on.

52:58 Caller Very true.

52:59 Guest And if she was raised in a place that said gay sex is wrong, then it can be kind of dirty and titillating to watch it.

53:07 Adam Right. Were her parents religious?

53:10 Caller Um, not really. They're just kind of. I mean, they've gone to church, but they're not real religious.

53:14 Guest Are they gay men?

53:16 Caller Pardon?

53:16 Guest Are they gay men? I was being facetious.

53:18 Adam I'm sorry.

53:19 Caller I apologize.

53:19 Adam So they're not.

53:20 Drew David, David sounds 29.

53:22 Adam Yeah, David, are you really 16?

53:24 Caller Yeah, I am.

53:25 Adam What size is your shoe?

53:26 Caller I'm a 15.

53:28 Adam Size what?

53:28 Caller A 15.

53:30 Adam Oh, 15. Oh, you're 16. It'll be a size of 48 by the time I get 21.

53:35 Caller Yeah, I'm 6'4.

53:37 Adam Really?

53:37 Guest Oh, so that's it. I'm playing some basketball at school.

53:41 Caller No, I don't really.

53:42 Adam I got a little lurch in you. Speaking of gay, hell would you like to have a little lurch in you? I mean, that sounds like a gay man's nightmare.

53:53 Caller You're right. Yes.

53:56 Adam It's not a gay porn title. You're wang. You know, I got a porn movie called Madam's Family. I can lend it to you if you have a trouble with the old lady. I know what it's like with the kid and everything.

54:13 Guest It kind of puts a damper on the porn watching.

54:16 Adam I'll tell you what we could do, Jen. We could easily work this out. Jon Cryer is my neighbor. I could work out very easily from my upstairs office, just a pulley and a nylon string. And a basket. Well, I'm thinking like an alligator clip off the end of the pulley, sort of like what you have on the end of a jumper cable. Whether it's a jacket for the Jackers or a porn film, or maybe just some laundry that needs to be done.

54:45 Guest Cup of sugar.

54:46 Adam Whatever it is, just slide it right on into your office over there.

54:52 Guest I think that's a great, helpful, neighborly idea. Used condoms. You just got to get rid of them.

54:59 Drew Right.

55:00 Guest No, you know, you can already see too much of my life. I'm scared. I'm deeply frightened.

55:09 Drew Aaron, Aaron's 21.

55:10 Caller Yeah, hi.

55:12 Caller Hello to everybody.

55:13 Caller Hello.

55:15 Caller Yeah, my now for about three weeks ex-fiancée left me about three weeks ago, as I just said. There was a possibility that she had been cheating on me. I had caught her in a way just really, really physically hugging some guy.

55:34 Drew If she wasn't cheating, why did she leave?

55:37 Caller She said that she needed her time and space, and a lot of which I think was consumed with the fact that she had just started a new job with a lot of pressure in it.

55:46 Drew Had a new relationship.

55:49 Caller Yeah, and her best friend had just moved in. And we were together for about two years.

55:59 Adam Well, what's the question, though?

56:04 Caller How would I go about truly finding out if something had happened? Because I think that if something did happen, she wouldn't tell me because she doesn't want to be on my back.

56:15 Like, you know, on our back.

56:16 Drew Let it go.

56:18 Adam Why do you need to know? Why do you need to know?

56:21 Caller Just out of personal curiosity, I guess. I'm just that type of person. And but also, I mean, I rang her through, I mean, you know, with so many, like, fights within, like, the last of it. I mean, I really put her to the test to, like, see if she would break.

56:36 Drew Congratulations.

56:37 Adam Fantastic.

56:38 Caller And you did it.

56:42 Caller And she never actually confessed to it.

56:44 Adam She held up.

56:44 Drew She's smart.

56:45 Adam She make a good prisoner of war.

56:48 Guest I'd be thankful you're not married at 21.

56:51 Adam Yes.

56:51 Guest Yeah.

56:52 Adam Hey Aaron.

56:52 Drew He doesn't want to be married to you.

56:53 Adam Aaron, all right, okay. Let me say a couple of things. Just be quiet. You got that 21 year old guy energy. You want answers to questions you really don't need the answer to. Believe me, if you did find out she was cheating that would not satisfy you, you'd need to know all the details and who the guy was and the whole bit and then it would haunt you. Okay, number two, her work schedule and her new roommate and all that kind of stuff. Or BS. We talked about this a million times. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you regardless of the work situation or the roommate situation. Women will make it abundantly clear when they want to be with a man and that is, that will be paramount above and beyond everything else. And if they don't, they won't. And that's the bottom line.

57:40 Drew You can imagine though, Adam, Erin with that energy, the only way she could get out of that relationship probably was cheating.

57:45 Adam Right.

57:45 Drew He probably had her locked in. Boy.

57:48 Adam Right. And women, because they want to spare guys like Erin, because they realize guys like Erin will go off the deep end if they tell them, listen, I'm not in love with you anymore. I'm in love with somebody else. I'm sorry you're hurt, but you have to move on with your life. They start backpedaling when guys like Erin come on and they go, no, no, no, I still love you. No, I need time to think. I'm confused. I got a new roommate and to compound things, the roommate has a cat and I don't, I think his name is Mittens. I don't know Mittens.

58:17 Guest I don't know, I don't know Mittens for Whiskers.

58:22 Adam Allegedly an honorary member of the Jackers, which is not a group I'm familiar with. All right. So she wants out, listen to the actions, everybody in every facet of life. Your boss can fire you and then tell you, do the work of 10 employees and the greatest person ever met. But if you're fired, he don't want you around. And it's same with a relationship. Jay, of course, I take none of my own advice in my personal life.

58:49 Drew Jay is 26.

58:50 Adam What's up, Jay?

58:51 Guest Hey. You know, I've been on and off with this girl for about two years. And the reason that I can't stay in the relationship is because we keep having sex. It sounds crazy. But I really want to save that because I think it's sacred. I want to save it for marriage.

59:10 Drew But you did.

59:11 Guest Yeah. But see, I didn't. That's the thing. If I'm all talk and no action, because I talk straight ideals and she respects them because before her mother died, she told her, she said, you're not going to be a virgin when you're married.

59:22 Adam Tell the mother before she died?

59:24 Guest Yeah.

59:25 Drew Nice touch.

59:29 Adam By the way, I owe VISA 4800 bucks.

59:34 Guest But the point I wanted to make is he's the dance gay.

59:37 Adam He killed himself. He didn't die in there.

59:42 Guest He's, she was.

59:43 Caller Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, poor guy.

59:47 Guest You know, but it sounds like the two of them are reveling in how full of it they both are.

59:50 Adam Oh, my God. Yeah. Jay, how many times would you reckon you've had sex with her?

59:54 Guest Oh, 20, 30 times.

59:56 Adam Okay.

59:56 Guest And she's got an issue with her. I mean, she believes it.

59:59 Adam Okay.

59:59 Caller All right.

1:00:00 Adam Well, what's wrong with you?

1:00:01 Guest What's wrong with me is that I do have a conviction in my heart that it should be something that is saved for the moment.

1:00:09 Adam Why don't you see if you can get a little out of your heart and shove it down your pants and get a little conviction down there?

1:00:13 Guest Well, that's the thing is I have been and the thing about it is I've been all talk and no action.

1:00:20 Caller Yeah.

1:00:21 Adam Hey, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, are you one of those guys who picks at your hair?

1:00:25 Guest What's that? No, not really.

1:00:26 Adam What's wrong with you?

1:00:29 Guest I just have a very strong set of beliefs.

1:00:31 Adam No. You have nothing. A very strong set of beliefs. Jay, you're whacked out. What's up with you? Are you supposed to be on medication?

1:00:39 Guest No, I went without sex from 17 to 24.

1:00:43 Adam Yeah, me too, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

1:00:45 Guest You know, since it was here, I model, I act.

1:00:49 Caller Oh, great.

1:00:51 Adam All right, so you're gay. Listen, Jay, what is wrong with you? What do people say is wrong with you? There's something up with you. You got some energy. You got some weird energy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Well, you know what I mean? All right. Well, what is it?

1:01:06 Guest People say I'm eccentric.

1:01:07 Adam Right. Yeah. That's nice for crazy.

1:01:09 Drew Gay. Have you had to be hospitalized?

1:01:11 Guest I never.

1:01:13 Adam You ever try to commit suicide?

1:01:15 Guest No.

1:01:16 Adam What about your parents?

1:01:18 Guest Um, let's see. My dad is a professional athlete. My mom, great lady, raised me with good values.

1:01:25 Adam All right. And did you ever know your dad?

1:01:28 Guest Yeah, really well. I mean, they were divorced when I was about five, but I spent every summer with him.

1:01:34 Adam Did you have any substance abuse problems or anything like that?

1:01:38 Guest I experimented a little bit when I lived in Aspen.

1:01:40 Adam But that was it, huh?

1:01:41 Guest Yes, that is.

1:01:41 Adam Because you definitely have some energy and some ideals, and the whole deal is what you actually do and what you think you should do are two totally different things.

1:01:52 Guest But now she's behind me and she wants to support me in it, and we want to go six months without her.

1:01:56 Adam All right.

1:01:57 Guest Well, then do it.

1:01:58 Adam Have at it.

1:01:59 Guest I understand. I think I'm afraid I can't because every time I'm with her, it's like we should be doing it. All right.

1:02:04 Adam Well, you need to whack off before you see her. You understand?

1:02:10 Guest Isn't that from a movie? I saw that in a movie.

1:02:12 Adam Oh my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big day. There you go. See? Well, it's from real. It went all the way back to the caveman days. Men have been doing that. They used to use a rock to masturbate.

1:02:27 Drew Adam, be fair. They use clouds. But I noticed Adam has a real tough time with people that have firm convictions. What's wrong with you?

1:02:38 Guest Well, this particular, this is kind of twisted. He was like, I'm conflicted because I have this conviction but I just don't live up to it at all.

1:02:46 Adam Yeah.

1:02:46 Guest You know? And that's kind of silly. Don't call us about that.

1:02:50 Adam Let me tell you something about actors. Sorry, guys. But, actors are known for having a lot of bizarre convictions that they don't actually live up to. Like guys who are like practicing yoga while they're doing blow and stuff like that.

1:03:04 Guest Yeah. The Hollywood Buddhism.

1:03:07 Adam Yes.

1:03:07 Guest Where you pray for cars.

1:03:09 Adam For Jaguars, yes.

1:03:09 Guest That's a big one.

1:03:10 Adam I had a, I once had this actor, the guy was on Sting Ray was the name of the show. And by the way, I, we have some people from ABC here. You want to know what the smart money is? Start doing movies, start doing TV shows where guys and cars solve crime, not just guys.

1:03:29 Guest Yeah.

1:03:29 Adam We've totally eliminated the automobile from the crime solving equation here. And we all know from watching enough television that if a car has enough gadgets on it, it can be quite an aid in solving these crimes. Also a few things I want to see. Hold on a second. Now, I was watching Charlie's Angels tonight. They, back in the 70s, when he wanted to kill somebody, you had two options. One is slit the brake lines on the car. And the second option was turn up the heat in the sauna. If they took a steam bath, turn it all the way up. And I don't know who manufactured these steam baths, but it was great because it was like, well, 110 is comfortable, but 150 will kill a man. We'll make ours go up to 185. And we'll put a big knob on it.

1:04:19 Guest And the lower right hand corner, I'll say it'll be red.

1:04:22 Adam It'll say danger. And then it'll lock from the outside with a meat freezer. No lawsuit there.

1:04:29 Caller That's great.

1:04:31 Adam A man's heart will cook over 140. Yours goes up to 185. Fantastic. What manufacturers? We gotta kill them. We gotta get them into the sauna. So we can melt them. There's a lot of melting people going on and a lot of tampering with the cars. Remember these brake lines? These were cut. And now, when someone cuts your brake lines the night before, your pedal bottoms out when you're backing out of the goddamn driveway that morning. No, no. You make it all the way to Pacific Coast Highway. You may have noticed on Dead Man's Curve that all of a sudden, there's no pressure left in the brake line. But I'd like to see more of that. More cars, more car-solving crimes, more brake lines cut, more people being suffocated.

1:05:16 Guest You want to tell us about the actor from Stingray?

1:05:17 Adam The actor from Stingray. I was a carpenter and this guy was riding high. You know, Stingray is very popular from 1984 to 1984 and six months, I think.

1:05:30 Guest Was it Nick Mancuso?

1:05:31 Adam Yes, I think it was.

1:05:32 Guest Oh my god, I'm good. Who wants to be a millionaire?

1:05:35 Adam Me. Me.

1:05:37 Guest I want to be a friggin millionaire.

1:05:39 Adam And I went over to this guy's house and it was that real sort of macho actor guy who had a lot of sort of half-baked notions about spirituality and things like that. And somebody said, you want to build this guy some cabinets. And I said, fine. And he was like renting a house out in Malibu. And I went over there and I said to the guy, all right, well, he said, I want some oak cabinetry. And I said, OK, fine. We'll make our rips at, you know, 16 or 24 because I got to go into 48 evenly because the oak plywood is 48 wide. Whatever. And you rip your stuff at 48 and then you put your oak solid oak face frame on it. And he's like, he's like, no, no, man, I want solid oak all the way around. And I said, well, you know, if you're doing a cabinet, it's going to be like 24 inches deep. You can't really do that out of solid oak. And he goes, no, no, I need solid oak. And I said, you know, all those nice cabinets you see at other people's house and in furniture and stuff, that's not solid oak. It's oak veneer with a solid oak bullnose on the front of it. He goes, no, you don't understand. I don't like the vibrations that come off a plywood, man. I want solid wood because because ply has a negative vibration. And I'm like, Nick, you're smoking. You understand you're holding a cigarette in your hand while you're telling me about the vibrations of the plywood. It's like, yeah, so that's and God knows doing like I said, probably going through an eight ball the second I leave the house. I it was a big waste of time and I ran up doing a job for the guy. But that's it. That's my my story of actors retarded spirituality. Thank you, Jamie.

1:07:11 Guest You.

1:07:12 Guest Hey, what's up?

1:07:13 Adam You're 17.

1:07:14 Guest What's up, Perky?

1:07:16 Guest Oh, OK. Well, I want to say hi to everybody from that show. I don't remember.

1:07:21 Guest Thank you.

1:07:22 Adam The Trouble with Normal.

1:07:23 Guest Friday's at 830, Jamie.

1:07:25 Adam That's right.

1:07:25 Guest I've been wanting to see it.

1:07:27 Guest It's good.

1:07:27 Guest I put my tongue in. I couldn't remember it.

1:07:29 Adam This Friday, 830, baby.

1:07:31 Guest OK. My question is, I masturbate about four to five times a day and I can read an orgasm when I'm with a guy, but I can't when I'm alone.

1:07:45 Drew What are you doing those four or five times? How do you know when to stop?

1:07:48 Guest I just get, my hand gets tired and I just stop.

1:07:52 Guest Or somebody walks in the room, or...

1:07:55 Guest Or somebody knocks on my door, yes, and I'm like, OK.

1:07:57 Adam Why are you going four or five times a day if you're not having an orgasm?

1:08:01 Guest Because I'll get really wet and I enjoy that, but I mean, I can't get anything past that.

1:08:06 Guest Well, does it count really as four or five times a day or is just one long one that's interrupted by little moments of non?

1:08:13 Caller Yes, exactly.

1:08:15 Adam Television and food.

1:08:16 Guest Because I usually do it in the morning.

1:08:18 Adam Yeah.

1:08:18 Guest And then I'm in that.

1:08:21 Adam Oh, Jamie, use the S word.

1:08:24 Guest You slipped it in.

1:08:25 Adam Yeah. And my policies, I have to cut people off. I announced it as a policy some weeks back and then I didn't adhere to it. But now I'm here. Anderson is forcing me to. All right. We have never heard this question, by the way. Have we, Drew?

1:08:39 Drew Not really.

1:08:40 Adam That a woman is not able to achieve an orgasm by mastering, but has one with men. It's usually the other way around. Right.

1:08:49 Guest At least until you know what you're doing.

1:08:50 Adam Right. Yeah. I would let me start you. Jamie, try the tub.

1:08:56 Guest I tried that. I can't do anything in the tub.

1:08:58 Adam But you got to run the water.

1:08:59 Guest Yeah, you don't do anything.

1:09:01 Adam You can't just get in the tub. I tried that too.

1:09:04 Caller No, no, no.

1:09:06 Guest What do you mean? I don't understand what you're saying.

1:09:08 Adam I smack my head on the soap dish.

1:09:11 Guest Do you want to tell her how to do it?

1:09:13 Adam With the tub? No. Paget, you tell her.

1:09:17 Guest Come on, Paget.

1:09:18 Guest Find a good temperature, not too hot, not too cold. And run the bathwater, not too forcefully. And place yourself directly beneath the running water.

1:09:29 Adam It should feel like God's peeing on you.

1:09:31 Guest Try it. That's how lots of friends of mine started.

1:09:36 Caller Oh!

1:09:38 Guest That's interesting, dude.

1:09:40 Guest I never even thought of that.

1:09:41 Caller Yeah.

1:09:42 Guest Try it. Because then it's... I don't mean to make a joke, but it's out of your hands, and you can kind of give over to...

1:09:49 Adam Right.

1:09:49 Guest Let's see. Why can't I get to that point?

1:09:51 Adam Well, listen, get in the tub and see what you can do. And didn't you say you were in the tub when I told you to get in the tub before?

1:09:57 Guest No.

1:09:58 Adam Didn't you say you tried that?

1:10:00 Guest I tried just bathing and, you know, whatever, and I shrivel up. I don't know.

1:10:05 Guest But is there something about having an actual guy, like the actual male equipment inside there that changes things?

1:10:14 Guest I think what it is is I like the pain part when the guy is inside of me.

1:10:18 Adam Ah-ha!

1:10:19 Guest The pain or the pressure?

1:10:21 Caller The pressure, whatever.

1:10:23 Adam I don't know. Hey, Jamie? Yeah? You got one boyfriend or more than one?

1:10:30 Guest I don't have a boyfriend right now, but I'm just going around with a couple people.

1:10:33 Caller Okay.

1:10:34 Adam Slow down there. Now, we've gone on too long. We ever molested or raped or anything like that?

1:10:40 Guest Oh, never.

1:10:41 Adam What's gotten you? You're a little batty. What happened?

1:10:44 Guest I've actually grown up with a Catholic mother and I don't have a father because I'm adopted. I was adopted when I was six months old and I don't know if anything's happened before I was six months old, though.

1:10:55 Adam Okay.

1:10:55 Guest I know my birth mother fed me alcohol on a bottle to shut me up, though. Nice.

1:11:00 Adam Oh, that's a hillbilly.

1:11:02 Caller That's great. All right.

1:11:03 Adam Hey, listen, baby, slow down. You're heading for an accident. You understand? You're going to get pregnant. You've been pregnant before?

1:11:11 Guest Oh, God, no, but I thought I was once.

1:11:13 Adam Okay, slow down.

1:11:14 Guest Remember how that felt?

1:11:15 Remember?

1:11:17 Guest You're pretty scary.

1:11:18 Adam Yeah.

1:11:19 Guest Yeah.

1:11:19 Adam You know, here's the thing about all things that involve intercourse. They're forever. Kids forever.

1:11:27 Guest Yes.

1:11:27 Adam Herpes forever. AIDS forever. It's all forever. You know what I'm saying? Except for crabs. I mean, that's cool. No, no, I mean, that's no big deal, right? They're around. So, the point is, is don't screw up because it will be forever. All right. Drew?

1:11:46 Drew Yeah.

1:11:46 Adam What do you say, buddy?

1:11:48 Drew Let me take a break.

1:11:48 Adam You do? You want to do that? Do you have to pee?

1:11:52 Drew Yeah.

1:11:52 Adam You do? Hey, Drew?

1:11:54 Drew Yeah.

1:11:56 Adam I'm not kidding. When you pee and you pee in a urinal and they have those holes, do you try to see if you can go, like let's say, two counts in each hole? You know what I'm talking about?

1:12:06 Drew I'm not sure that I'm counting, but I'm definitely going in the holes.

1:12:08 Adam You're going for the holes.

1:12:09 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:12:10 Adam And you don't focus on one, you try to see if you can get all of them, right?

1:12:13 Drew Yeah, at least a few of them, yeah.

1:12:15 Adam I mean, do you see if you can get all of them? Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

1:12:17 Drew I know what you're talking about, but I don't go... This is great. Usually there's a plastic web over part of it.

1:12:22 Adam I know. Well, that's where the skill part comes in.

1:12:24 Drew I'm not going to reach in and move the plastic.

1:12:26 Adam No, no, you don't reach in, but usually there'll be something like toilet brush or something you could use to move it aside so you could hit each hole.

1:12:33 Guest Do you do that? Do you look for the tool in the public restroom to move the plastic dish?

1:12:38 Adam I know.

1:12:39 Guest No, you just pick a particular urinal that doesn't have the plastic dish in the right place.

1:12:43 Guest And you pee in the holes.

1:12:44 Adam Right. Yeah, I'll keep going if I stop.

1:12:46 Drew If you had real skill, the force of the stream could actually move the plastic.

1:12:50 Caller Oh, very nice point.

1:12:51 Guest If you squeeze really hard.

1:12:53 Adam Thanks, Luke. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

1:12:57 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:13:00 We'll be right back. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:13:38 Adam Hey, the show's started. It's Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That is Drew. John, Larry, and Padgett are all here from The Trouble with Normal, ABC, Friday nights, 8.30, everybody.

1:13:49 Guest God, you're so good at that. Really, we appreciate it.

1:13:52 Adam Well, you know, I understand that people are here to plug their work and their projects, and if you're good and nice and play nice and they're good guests like you guys are, I have no difficulty giving them plugs. Drew is over in San Francisco.

1:14:06 Drew What do you want from them, Adam?

1:14:09 Guest He's so manipulative.

1:14:10 Adam I'd like to play a surgeon in an upcoming episode.

1:14:14 Guest Done, easy.

1:14:16 Drew I'm at Live 105.

1:14:17 Adam Yes, and you got control of the board there?

1:14:20 Drew Yeah.

1:14:20 Adam All right, let's talk to our next victim.

1:14:23 Drew Hold on a second. There we go. Eric?

1:14:26 Adam Yeah, that was weird. Eric, you're 18. What's up?

1:14:29 Caller Yeah, hi. Okay, this is what goes. I found a diary under my girlfriend's bed that said she had kissed the girl and that she had loved it. But this had happened, like, three or four months ago. And, like, all her friends are, like, bisexual or whatever. And, like, it struck me very hard. I took it very, like, personally, you know, not personally, but, like, it was very saddening.

1:15:04 Adam Saddening?

1:15:05 Caller Well, you know.

1:15:06 Adam How did you stumble across that diary?

1:15:08 Caller Oh, well, I was hiding under her bed because, like, she thought...

1:15:11 Adam One of her, one of her Bulldike friends was over. The guys are like cats. The big lesbians come over, you go right, right under the bed.

1:15:23 Guest Yeah.

1:15:24 Adam Or on top of the fridge.

1:15:25 Caller Yeah, because her uncle had gone there or something like that. And, like, I just happened to, like, look through her stuff, so I found that.

1:15:33 Drew How long has she been your girlfriend?

1:15:35 Caller Well, we've been on and off for, like, about a year.

1:15:38 Adam How does that work? So you hide under the bed, you're there, and then it's like, hey, what's this? A diary. What's going on? And... Hmm.

1:15:48 Guest Yeah. Yeah, the thing, there's, first of all, you'll never get around that you read her diary. That's just, it's never, there's never gonna be a situation where that's okay. In the argument, trust me, you won't be able to say, but you kissed a girl and liked it, and that will not make up for the fact that you read her diary.

1:16:07 Guest You haven't told her that you read it.

1:16:08 Guest She will lose her mind.

1:16:11 Adam Did you tell her you read it?

1:16:12 Caller Yeah, I confronted her with it.

1:16:15 Guest Oh, see?

1:16:16 Guest And did it sound as wormy as the way I made it sound?

1:16:19 Caller No.

1:16:19 Guest No?

1:16:20 Guest Really?

1:16:20 Guest You sounded better than that?

1:16:22 Caller Excuse me?

1:16:22 Guest What did she say when you told her?

1:16:24 Caller She was surprised and shocked. She was like, why did you read it? This and that. Well, that doesn't matter. You did this and that.

1:16:32 Guest But she's thinking it doesn't matter what she did. The fact was you read her diary, which was print.

1:16:36 Caller Well, not really. Well, kind of. Yeah.

1:16:39 Adam Not really.

1:16:40 Drew This is two people that should not be in a relationship right now.

1:16:42 Adam She had drawings of her with a lesbian that you interpreted, like you were looking inside of a cave somewhere in Africa. I mean, for Christ's sake. Hey, Eric, listen, you're too young for a relationship. You're a goofy guy. Just relax. How old is she?

1:17:00 Drew She's confused.

1:17:00 Caller She's 17.

1:17:02 Adam All right.

1:17:02 Drew She's confused. She's trying to figure herself out.

1:17:05 Caller But hold on, though.

1:17:05 Adam All right.

1:17:06 Caller Because like, OK, I know like we're really in touch with each other. I mean, like, we love each other a lot. You can call it love.

1:17:13 Adam And well, no, I'm calling it love.

1:17:17 Caller Well, because some older people don't consider teenage love, real love, whatever, you know.

1:17:21 Adam Right. It's turned to a Ricky Nelson song. Yeah, who wants to be a millionaire now?

1:17:28 Guest There's a reason. There's a reason, though, that would that us older folks, us old fogies, us people who look down on the rock and roll, the sinful music. The reason why is because we were there and we later find out that it was was barely the tip of the iceberg. Right. Right. And and trust me, it feels great while you're in it, but it's delusional.

1:17:51 Adam All right. Well, listen, it's just mellow out. I know that doesn't sound like advice, but you know, it's a little bit buddy. All right. My screen just went black here.

1:18:01 Drew Greg, 27. The the the there's a plug in the back. It is real loose.

1:18:05 Adam I see. All right. Just Greg, you're at 27. Are you?

1:18:09 Drew Yeah.

1:18:09 Adam Write that down. All right. What's up, buddy?

1:18:11 Drew Well, the screen will return right back on again. Just push that plug in tighter.

1:18:14 Adam Jon did it.

1:18:15 Caller My phone keeps getting kind of disconnected a little bit.

1:18:17 Drew I did that to you. I'm sorry.

1:18:18 Caller I thought I was going to get canned there.

1:18:20 Adam What's your question?

1:18:21 Caller Well, I initially had a question on Tantric Sex, but I wanted to first ask about if there's any way that guys can use this little tub technique.

1:18:34 Ah.

1:18:35 Guest Well, guys can use any technique. They can use any appliance. They can use a blender.

1:18:40 Caller No, they can't.

1:18:41 Caller I was so intrigued by this, you know, the big giant faucet thing.

1:18:46 Adam Yeah. Here's how guys use the tub technique. They get a chick to do it, and then they whack off while they're watching. That's how the tub works for the guys. Oh, hell yes, that would work. I'd be done. I'd be like, sorry, baby. Hey, you're close to the towel rack. Can I have one of those towels?

1:19:04 Caller Hang on.

1:19:05 Adam I'm going to be watching TV. You, uh, you saw. Well, I know when the water turns off, you're done.

1:19:10 Caller Just come on in.

1:19:15 Caller Well, I was wondering, some buddies of mine have told me kind of some things they do for tantric sex, like with putting their penis in a little bit and taking it out.

1:19:25 Caller And then what's the whole deal?

1:19:28 Drew That's just delaying ejaculation. That's all. They're just trying to make things last longer.

1:19:32 Guest And a lot of the time, those tantric, you know, sex things are thrust hard one time and then soft three times and the most of what that does is just distracts you from the fact that you're you're you're boning some hot chick and what it what that does is it delays it and often you'll you know you'll you'll have a more powerful one because you delayed it.

1:19:53 Adam Yeah.

1:19:54 Caller What's like the like a given technique?

1:19:59 Adam No. Well, Drew, what is it? What is it? I mean, I've I've tried that technique. Put in a little you pull out. Then it's a hard one. Then it's a soft one. But eventually the guys ask it. So if you lose count. No, Drew, what is this tantric sex? I mean, how do you how do you actually do it in a sting sort of way?

1:20:20 Drew You know, I don't know what they do, but I know that, you know, I mean, there are books on it that people can follow. But I'm sure it's not anything. I mean, look, the focus in the other partner on the intimacy that's much more important and fulfilling than the mechanical aspects.

1:20:35 Adam And, you know, we make our pizza analogies every once in a while. Pizza is very good. And sure, you could eat one slice and then stare at it for 15 minutes before you ate your second slice. And the second slice may be a little more gratifying because you waited the 15 minutes. Whatever, whatever weird ritual you wanted to do. But the reality is, is it's not going to get much better. It's good the way it is. Just, just to eat up, enjoy, enjoy. Thank you, Scott.

1:21:06 Drew A new position. It's called intimacy.

1:21:08 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:21:10 Caller I forgot about that one.

1:21:13 Adam True. It's true. Getting very sanctimonious. A new position. It's called intimacy. You know, but what he really was talking about is where it's kind of like 69. Drew calls it intimacy.

1:21:26 Guest You gotta put the feet up on the mantle.

1:21:29 Adam Yeah, it's sort of a wheelbarrow, 69, and he's dubbed it intimacy. It's like a perfume.

1:21:38 Caller Maybe the missionary position.

1:21:40 Adam Well, who knows more about sex than the macho man, Randy Savage.

1:21:46 Caller Yeah.

1:21:53 Guest I used to.

1:21:54 Adam Oh, listen, Jon.

1:21:56 Caller And I had a total sex drive and everything, and then I stopped using, and all I do is smoke weed now, and since that time, like every time a situation like, you know, I think about like girls, but every time like it's about to happen, like I'm about to give the girl or something, I just instantly like, it seems like disgusting to me.

1:22:15 Caller Like, is that...

1:22:17 Drew What drugs were you doing?

1:22:18 Adam What drugs were you doing? What drugs?

1:22:22 Caller I used to do heroin and speed and, you know, drink and acid, you know, stuff.

1:22:31 Drew Alright, well, you're smoking a lot of pot now then. A lot, come on, a lot of pot.

1:22:36 Caller Yeah, between, yeah, gram, gram and a half a day.

1:22:39 Drew Look, you're just maintaining your addiction with marijuana and if you've been a heroin addict, switch over to pot, you gotta smoke a lot of pot to maintain it. And absolutely, that will shut your sex drive down to nothing. But also you can have damage with the speed and possibly with the LSD, they can cause some sexual dysfunction also.

1:22:56 Adam But I would say it's being baked constantly.

1:22:59 Drew Yeah, the main thing is the pot right now.

1:23:01 Caller So do you think if I stop smoking weed, it'll just all come back?

1:23:07 Drew I can't promise you, as I said, there's some issues with LSD and speed, but it should come back, but it'll take at least six months and I guarantee you, you won't stop without treatment, mathematical guarantee.

1:23:19 Adam Alright, so Scott, you gotta get yourself some help, alright? Code AMA or something?

1:23:24 Drew Yeah, he needs more than that, I suspect.

1:23:26 Adam Really?

1:23:27 Drew But he can certainly start there.

1:23:28 Adam Alright, Jon, do you smoke any pot? I'm just curious.

1:23:31 Guest I have not in years. I had a not great pot experience and so I stopped.

1:23:36 Adam Do you keep a stash around the house? I'm just saying in case...

1:23:39 Guest I know, in the middle of the night.

1:23:41 Adam Jon, I need to pinch somebody. Oh, sorry, did I wake the kid?

1:23:45 Caller I'm sorry, brother.

1:23:47 Guest Fire up the bung, honey. You know, no, it's never been my thing. Despite the fact that fans... Twice, this has happened to me, fans have walked up to me and placed buds in my hand and said, dude, if you ever need anything. But I don't. I just... I don't smoke. It's not my thing.

1:24:03 Adam Noted.

1:24:03 Drew Adam, have we ever had two tods in one night?

1:24:06 Adam No, we have not. And this is the second one. Todd, you're 24.

1:24:11 Caller Yeah, I had this question for Adam. And I was just curious. I've been watching a few adult movies lately. And I was just curious, like, it seems like the more updated pornos seem like to be more with a lot of anal sex. I was just curious.

1:24:30 Adam There's a trend toward anal.

1:24:31 Caller Sure.

1:24:33 Adam I have a pie chart at home I could show you. Now, you see clearly here in the 60s, this brown slice represented anal. You clearly, at 9%, a very small portion of the adult industry was done anal. Now, as you move forward to the 70s and early 80s, you see the brown slice growing to 32%, which you see is almost a third of the adult business being ate. Now, if I could turn your attention to overhead projector. Over here by 98 it had grown to 79%.

1:25:11 Caller Now, you see that quite a bit of knowledge about it, so I was just curious about it. No, I was just curious, like...

1:25:16 Adam Well, my thesis in junior college is written on anal and it's a relation to the adult film industry.

1:25:23 Caller All right. No, but anyways, I was just curious because it seems pretty painful for the female, you know. So I was just curious if it was more pleasurable for the female or for the male, or what was your take on it?

1:25:37 Adam In the porn industry or just in the general life?

1:25:40 Caller Just in general life. I never experienced it and I was just kind of curious because it seems kind of painful on the movies for the women. I was just curious if it was or not, or what was your take on it? Or the female guest that you have there, what was her take on it as well?

1:25:56 Adam Well, Patsy and I were discussing this during the last commercial play.

1:25:59 Guest We took five minutes and actually talked about just this.

1:26:01 Caller Yeah.

1:26:03 Guest That's funny you called, Tom.

1:26:03 Adam She called it porn-holing, but I knew what she meant.

1:26:07 Guest What was that?

1:26:08 Adam All right. Well, I like those talk shows where they go, I'll hang up and listen to the answer now. How come none of our guys hang up on themselves? They're always doing all those other talk shows. I'm going to hang up and listen. All right. So I don't know. Some women enjoy this, right, Paget? Your friends that masturbate in the tub, perhaps? I do.

1:26:32 Guest No, no, no, I don't, personally.

1:26:34 Caller You got burnt down on it.

1:26:37 Guest I used to do a lot of corn-holing.

1:26:41 Caller Put that on a card.

1:26:43 Adam Check the chart.

1:26:43 Guest I've taken it down to it. No, I was surprised. I have a female friend who enjoys it more than what I would consider normal sex. And that is surprising to me. But A, I don't think the women in porno films necessarily are in pain. I think these are people that have physically...

1:27:03 Guest They're trained professionally.

1:27:05 Guest They're almost like professional athletes in that they have graduated from a larger and larger device in order to be able to handle sometimes even more than one.

1:27:15 Drew I'm kind of frightened by how much Paget knows about this.

1:27:17 Adam Yeah.

1:27:18 Guest Well, I'm not frightened.

1:27:19 Adam She did her homework.

1:27:21 Drew Yeah.

1:27:21 Guest My parents were teachers. They specialized in...

1:27:24 Guest Internally.

1:27:25 Guest No. But I do think it is painful. Yeah. You know, it is painful. And it's something you want to ask very nicely about. And I think you want to spend some time working towards that as a girl.

1:27:38 Drew You know, actually, Adam, you weren't here that night. We had... Was it Stacey Valentine in there? And she was talking about this. And she talks about how she had to use graduated, like, devices. Right.

1:27:48 Adam She started with my penis and worked up to run Jeremy.

1:27:54 Guest But again, that falls into the kind of naughty category where some women like that it's not the normal thing.

1:28:02 Adam Here would be my assessment of it. I would say that a small percentage of women, probably in the 5 to 8 percent range, really dig it. And then the other 95 to 92 percent hate it as much as the 8 or 5 percent really dig it. So unless you luck in to that 5 percent, you're probably barking up the wrong tree. Okay. Thank you. Drew, you want to take a break? Yep. All right. We will do that. We have the cast from the Trouble with Normal. 8.30, everyone. Friday nights, ABC. Find out what all the talk is about. And we'll be back after this. Ahoy, you babies.

1:29:12 Caller Oh, no.

1:29:15 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. We have Larry, John and Paget all here from The Trouble with Normal. ABC, everyone. Friday nights. That will be the night after tomorrow, 8.30. Right in smack-dam in the middle of... Are they calling it something? I mean, it used to be TGIF. Is it something?

1:29:34 Guest Yep, it's Friday, swear to God.

1:29:37 Adam Really?

1:29:37 Guest Wish? I was kidding.

1:29:38 Adam Genius. Get on it, Mike.

1:29:40 Guest Sorry. I keep forgetting.

1:29:42 Adam Are they calling it? Yep, it's Friday.

1:29:43 Drew It's the first time John's done this show, by the way.

1:29:48 Guest I was born and raised on this show. I'm a troll in the studio. I never leave. I never leave the building.

1:29:53 Adam Well, John, you've been in the business for quite some time, right? I mean, how old were you when you first started going in this business?

1:30:02 Guest I first started going... I was four.

1:30:04 Adam Uh-huh. And then you stopped when?

1:30:06 Guest I was that kid on the Brady Bunch. They brought in when the ratings were sagging. The blue boy. Oliver! Kid, I was Oliver. No, I'm kidding. That was Robbie Wriste. I am going on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? And I'm going to open... Okay, now, who can tell me the name of...

1:30:20 Adam Nick Mancuso.

1:30:22 Guest Wait, we talked about this. The kid who was on the Partridge family, the other kid that they brought in when the show was dying and...

1:30:28 Adam All right.

1:30:29 Guest And he's saying those songs. It was Ricky something.

1:30:32 Adam Ricky...

1:30:33 Guest I don't know. Oh, yes. I've opened up a can of worms now. But my point being, I was four and I did a commercial. That was when I started and so there you go.

1:30:42 Adam All right. And Drew?

1:30:45 Drew Yep.

1:30:45 Adam How old were you when you got in this business?

1:30:49 Drew I was a fetus.

1:30:50 Adam Have you got in yet? I'm not sure if you're in. Are you in now? No.

1:30:53 Guest I'm not in. I'm still not in.

1:30:55 Adam Kim?

1:30:55 Guest Yeah.

1:30:56 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:30:57 Guest Hi. I had a question about HPV.

1:31:00 Adam Right.

1:31:01 Guest I had a friend that contracted it about a year ago. And I just want to know how it spread.

1:31:07 Caller Like, is it dyssexually?

1:31:09 Drew Yes. Almost exclusively, yes. Oh, okay.

1:31:12 Guest That's just about it.

1:31:13 Drew And again, there's a lot more information coming about the warts these days that there are certain subtypes that may go away, may have for three to five years or so, and then spontaneously they resolve. And the people that have that particular subtype that are not necessarily at such high risk of say cervical cancer as those for whom the warts persist. And there's good evidence that anal warts also, genital warts that get to the anal region can put people at risk for anal cancer.

1:31:38 Guest It's just hard to find like information on it. Like we were trying to find it because he can't get much on it. So it's really...

1:31:43 Drew It's... Check out... We had tons of it at drdrew.com about it.

1:31:46 Caller Yeah, that's where we looked.

1:31:48 Drew And we didn't have any information about it?

1:31:49 Guest Well, they did, but not like how it was spread and like a lot of detail and stuff.

1:31:54 Guest Well, plus there's going to be that big Fox anal warts Christmas special.

1:31:58 Adam Right. I was up for that.

1:32:00 Guest You can wait for that.

1:32:00 Adam I was up for the part of one of the warts, actually. I said I was too tall. We need guys, but we need guys 5'8, and they said to play the warts. But the testicles were still open. We were looking pretty seriously at the Carolla. But he may be in Vancouver working on a project, and if he is, you can play one of the sacks.

1:32:25 Drew Gabriel.

1:32:26 Adam Can you dance?

1:32:28 Drew Gabriel?

1:32:30 Adam Gabriel, you're 18. What's going on?

1:32:33 Caller About four months ago, I had a really good friend that was helping me out because I was going through a lot of trouble. And me and her got really close. And when my, I guess when my trouble was climaxed, I had quite a bit of problems. I actually lost it and I had to leave work and I had to leave the area for a while and get taken care of by the doctor.

1:32:57 Adam Is he talking about sex or is he talking about Lost at Climax? Something else.

1:33:02 Guest Yeah. So did you have a nervous breakdown?

1:33:05 Caller It was a combination of that and a really close friend of mine was arrested for being a, was acquitted for being a child molester. Really? And so it was, it was just emotional stress really.

1:33:18 Adam Okay. So this girl saw you through the tough times.

1:33:21 Drew Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's using a lot of euphemisms here. Were you hospitalized?

1:33:26 Caller I was wrongfully diagnosed as mentally ill actually. I got it cleared to a doctor at home.

1:33:32 Drew All right, Gabriel, were you hospitalized?

1:33:34 Caller No.

1:33:34 Drew You did not go to a psychiatric hospital?

1:33:37 Caller No.

1:33:37 Drew You did not go to an emergency room?

1:33:39 Caller No.

1:33:40 Adam Okay. Why didn't you just say no then?

1:33:42 Drew Yeah. Then who gave you that diagnosis and how did that happen?

1:33:46 Caller Um, I didn't know I was being evaluated by a psychiatrist and uh...

1:33:52 Guest Was he a TV repairman or something?

1:33:55 Adam It happens.

1:33:56 Drew What was that?

1:33:57 Adam You've seen Mission Impossible come in posing as the cable guy.

1:34:02 Drew What was that, Gabriel?

1:34:04 Caller I didn't know I was being evaluated. I didn't give her all the information I was supposed to give her and so she assumed a lot.

1:34:10 Drew Where were you being evaluated?

1:34:12 Caller I worked at a Boy Scout camp and so they weren't being very easy and they didn't want to take any chances. Alright.

1:34:18 Drew So the camp had you evaluated?

1:34:20 Caller Yes.

1:34:20 Drew Not at a hospital?

1:34:21 Caller No. Okay.

1:34:23 Adam Well, don't they have those field vans? You have seen them around town. The psychiatric evaluation mobile.

1:34:30 Drew And what was the diagnosis they gave you?

1:34:32 Adam Have you seen those? Or maybe that's pink dot. I can't remember. It's one or the other.

1:34:36 Drew Humbrozer.

1:34:36 Guest Oh, that's what it is.

1:34:38 Adam I'm going to rape one of those trucks if I get stoned and get behind one once. I'll jump out of my car while still moving it onto the roof, cut into it like a can opener and drop down inside.

1:34:47 Caller That would be great.

1:34:49 Adam All right, so, listen, Gabriel, what do you want? What's up?

1:34:52 Caller Well, my darkness has cleared, but this friend of mine, she got really scared and basically shut herself off from me.

1:34:59 Guest Yes.

1:35:00 Caller It's been at least three months and I haven't been able to talk to her still, and she just won't talk to me at all, and I was curious, you know, what could I do to...

1:35:08 Drew How did she find out about it?

1:35:10 Caller Well, she was with me through a lot of...

1:35:12 Adam Okay, listen, the only way that you're going to cure this is is to draw a very long rambling Unabomber type letter to her.

1:35:21 Guest A manifesto.

1:35:22 Adam A manifesto, if you will. Preferably written on, you know those little Debbi snacks? Write it on the cardboard.

1:35:31 Guest The cardboard from the bottom of the... Yeah.

1:35:33 Adam Right. Okay, listen.

1:35:36 Drew But listen, what happened?

1:35:37 Adam Listen, he is a little nutty.

1:35:39 Drew There's something going on with him. I mean, when people have intense emotional disturbances, they often lose their insight. They aren't aware what they've done or aren't how they're perceived.

1:35:48 Adam Well, isn't that part of being nuts?

1:35:50 Drew Yeah.

1:35:51 Adam Isn't it a big part? You know what I mean? It's not being able to step out of yourself and take a look at what your actions are.

1:35:58 Guest But by the way...

1:35:58 Drew Psychiatrists are used to elusive historians and they know how to make those evaluations. And by the time he got home, the crisis may have passed.

1:36:07 Guest So we're all pretty much assuming that the guy is, in fact, a little crazy. Which might by the way be driving him a little crazy. I mean, everybody assuming...

1:36:17 Drew He lacks insight.

1:36:18 Adam Our advice is if she ain't talking to you, she ain't talking to you. Move on. Ron? Yes. You're 25. What's up?

1:36:26 Caller I've been engaged with my fiance now for almost a little bit over two years. And I think I have a small penis. But she tells me that I don't. I don't know. I always think she's lying to me.

1:36:38 Adam Right. Well, she is.

1:36:39 Drew Two years?

1:36:39 Caller Yeah.

1:36:40 Guest But this sounds like a great girl.

1:36:42 Caller Yeah.

1:36:43 Adam Yeah. How big is it?

1:36:46 Caller I don't know.

1:36:48 Caller We made it at one time and it was like six and a half.

1:36:53 Adam Oh, I am so sick and tired of these guys calling in with their alleged small penises that measure bigger than mine.

1:37:01 Drew Yeah.

1:37:02 Adam I want to take a knife to these guys. And I was like, Oh, my friends made fun of me. I was a laughing stock of Jewish camp, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you got a good quarter inch on me.

1:37:15 Drew All right. But yeah, three and a half inches. But the real thing is the guys that are preoccupied this way, especially where it's a distortion, it's not reality. It's a symbol of their esteem, of their stature quite literally. And they really need to get to work on themselves and their lives. And the penis is just a symbol of something else.

1:37:34 Adam So he wanted to hear it from us that he was just fine too. No.

1:37:37 Drew Huge.

1:37:38 Adam Yes. Yes. You could kill a woman. But here's the point. Women don't care so much about this. I think it's a factor, but if you harp on it, it's more the sort of insecurity that they're bothered by. Yeah. All right. We're gonna take a little break. We'll be back. Hello.

1:37:57 Caller This is your radio.

1:38:19 Adam All right, that is it, everybody. I want to thank Paget, Larry and John for all coming in here. The Trouble with Normal, right? This is, what do they call that in TV? This is...

1:38:31 Drew Must see.

1:38:32 Adam No, no. This is something viewing, they call that thing appointment, appointment, appointment viewing. Yes, you make an appointment, you call ABC.

1:38:43 Guest TVO.

1:38:45 Adam They issue you a number, there's a lottery type thing that goes on Friday afternoon. You stay by your AM or ham radio, they'll alert you as to whether you're qualified to watch the show or not.

1:38:56 Drew I have to thank the guys up here, Live 105 too in San Francisco.

1:38:59 Adam No.

1:39:00 Drew Yes, please.

1:39:00 Adam Ask them.

1:39:01 Drew They were horrible. One of our affiliates has been with us from the beginning.

1:39:04 Adam Yes. God bless Live 105. Drew, where are you going to be tomorrow night? You're going to be back?

1:39:09 Drew Right here.

1:39:09 Adam Are you back at Live 105?

1:39:11 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:39:11 Adam Fantastic. All right. So kudos to them and thanks to you guys. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:39:19 Guest I just gave him a blowjob.

1:39:20 Caller Whoops.

1:39:21 Adam Well, now.

1:39:22 Caller This has been Loveline. The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2000