Episode 1000754887110

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

1:14 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Gas over there. Dr. Drew, everyone, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And remember your Hippocratic oath, Drew.

1:32 Drew Okay.

1:33 Adam Drew claims to have some hellacious gas tonight. As he was telling me he had hellacious gas. What'd I do, Drew?

1:40 Drew You farted my face.

1:41 Adam I ripped a fart while he was explaining his gas. You gotta appreciate that.

1:48 Drew Yeah, that's good.

1:49 Adam That's got a little bite to it. See, Drew is lucky because it's gonna get tough in here, Drew, because I'm gonna, we're gonna be like a couple of heavyweights trading punches in the center of the ring.

2:00 Drew I'm ready. Tonight I'm ready.

2:01 Adam My ass came loaded for Bear tonight, too. The thing about Drew is here's his advantage, and here's what I wish I had. I basically had the stomach of a goat. I can eat anything. I'm telling you, I ate one of those novelty-size sea Easter eggs that was out on someone's stoop in like January one year. I mean, it's been sitting out there for six months. I ate the thing fine. I eat stuff off the ground. I ate milk that's spoiled. I ate bad cheese. I ate stuff from last Christmas. Nothing ever haves me. Onions and legumes and spices and nothing. I don't get anything. I just get gas. For me, when I get gas, it's serendipity. I can't base it on anything. Now a guy like you, Drew, you know.

2:46 Drew There's no way to load the cannon for you. Right.

2:48 Adam For me, I just have to go into battle and hope I have ammunition. But there's no planning. A guy like you, you know. Drew has threatened me before. He said, I will eat scallions. And that will be the end of you. So you know your food.

3:06 Drew Yeah, I know my ammunition.

3:07 Adam I wish I was lactose intolerant. I wish I had some intolerance. And then what I would do if I was lactose intolerant is I would keep a little wedge of cheese. You know, those little mini Buddha, laughing cow pieces. I keep it in my wallet.

3:22 Drew Just to load it.

3:22 Adam In case I had to go on a long van ride with Jimmy or something, I was in a plane or there was trouble, I'd pop that in there like Popeye drops a spinach.

3:31 Drew Like carrying a handgun or something.

3:33 Adam Yeah, well, not so much. But the derringer in my boot.

3:36 Drew Nice.

3:36 Adam You know, just a single shot thing, something in case some trouble occurred. I got caught cheating at a card game. Pow! I'd eat that cheese. I'd make my escape. I don't have that. So I don't know what to do tonight.

3:48 Drew I'm sad for you.

3:49 Adam Yeah. You can all take pity on me. Pat? Pat, you're 18.

3:55 Caller That's right.

3:56 Adam What's up?

3:57 Caller Not too much.

3:59 I had a little problem tonight.

4:00 Caller I was having sex with a girlfriend.

4:02 It wasn't the first time or anything, but my mom decides to walk in and she didn't... I think she was a little surprised about that.

4:11 Drew Was this in your room?

4:12 Yeah.

4:13 Drew Why did she just... Did she normally just walk into your room?

4:15 Caller No, I had a phone call.

4:18 Adam She came in to tell you you had a phone call?

4:20 Caller She came in with the phone.

4:22 Adam I see. And you just have sex with your girlfriend while your mom's home, just wandering around the house?

4:28 Oh, it's like 11 o'clock at night and she's usually in bed by, you know, nine.

4:34 Adam All right. Well, listen, you got to cover yourself next time. We got to get a little barrel bolt for your door. All right. So you're having your mid-sex with your girlfriend?

4:43 Oh, yeah.

4:44 Adam You're on top. What position are you in?

4:48 I was on top of her at the time.

4:49 Adam I see. And so what did your mom say?

4:52 She didn't say anything. She just said, here's the phone. She turned around, walked away. I just wondered if I should say anything to her.

4:58 Drew This is bogus.

4:59 Adam Yeah.

5:00 Drew I don't really believe this. Please.

5:01 Adam You know what's funny? I never felt it the whole time he was talking. I never felt it.

5:07 Drew Yeah. Well, that's why I was thinking bogus the whole way until until mom completed handing in the phone in the middle of sex. How does that even work? How does that even happen?

5:14 Adam No, but wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me make an argument for Pat. If it was a bogus call, wouldn't he say that mom freaked out and started screaming? Do you know what I'm saying?

5:25 Drew No, he's making up. Is he going?

5:26 Caller Really?

5:27 Adam I don't know. That's it's not a good payoff to a bogus story that mom hands the phone and walks away. You know what I'm saying?

5:34 Drew No.

5:36 Adam Maybe I believe him now. Maybe he's just one of those guys who smokes a lot of weed and he has no affect.

5:40 Drew Could be.

5:44 I smoke a little bit of weed, not much.

5:45 Adam All right.

5:46 Caller But anyways, I did get off of her before the phone was handed to me.

5:52 Adam How old is your girlfriend?

5:54 She's 17.

5:55 Adam Okay. Listen, you have a dad around there? Yeah. You do? Yeah. Now, your mom's probably going to tell your dad, right? Okay. Listen, I don't care if it's bogus or not. It's not an exciting call.

6:08 Yeah.

6:10 Adam You're 18. Let's get out of the house the next six months. Don't talk about it.

6:14 Drew Don't be doing stuff in their house that obviously they don't want you to be doing.

6:17 Adam Well, maybe they don't care. Mom didn't seem to care that much. Did she?

6:22 Drew Yeah.

6:22 Adam Think about what an 18-year-old guy's like now.

6:25 Drew These days?

6:26 Adam Yeah.

6:27 Drew Arangatang.

6:28 Adam Dan?

6:29 Caller Hello?

6:30 Adam You're 13. What's up?

6:31 Caller Okay. Well, I had two friends in the Santana shooting now. One of them was not really my friend. He's one of my brother's friends. He was a good friend of the killer. Another one of my friends there, he goes to my church.

6:48 Drew You're talking about the San Diego shooting today, right?

6:51 Caller Yeah.

6:52 Drew Which we're going to be in San Diego tomorrow night.

6:54 Adam Speaking of San Diego.

6:55 Drew Let's bring that up now before we get into this call.

6:58 Adam Yeah. What was the story? I just heard bits and pieces on this in the news. This is a town right outside of San Diego, right?

7:05 Caller Yeah.

7:06 Adam Pardon me?

7:07 Caller East County.

7:08 Adam East County, which is right outside of San Diego?

7:11 Drew Okay.

7:12 Adam Thanks. What happened? How many people were shot?

7:16 Caller Well, I think 15 people were shot. Thirteen of them were just injured and two of them were killed.

7:22 Drew Yeah.

7:23 Adam And this young student came to school with, what did he have?

7:28 Drew A handgun..22 caliber. Oh, really?

7:30 Adam He had a handgun and what else?.22 caliber. Was he able to shoot all these people with a handgun, huh?

7:36 Drew Apparently, he was in the bathroom shooting people, and they went out in the hall shots, people went back in the bathroom, shot some people. And he apparently told people he was going to do it.

7:44 Adam And how?

7:44 Drew People teased him more.

7:46 Caller He was just choking her head.

7:47 Adam Right.

7:48 Drew He was being abused. But you know why he was sort of, here's the irony of the human being. There's a kid that had been abused at home. And so of course his peers continue to carry that out.

7:56 Adam Oh yeah. We can sniff out a good victim. And how old was this kid, Dan?

8:01 Caller He's 15.

8:02 Adam And so you didn't know him?

8:04 Caller Oh no.

8:05 Adam But your brother did?

8:08 Caller My brother's friend. My brother's friend was like best friend to him. Wow.

8:13 Adam Really? He had a best friend, this kid?

8:15 Caller Yeah.

8:16 Adam And so you know somebody who got shot?

8:20 Caller Yeah.

8:21 Adam It was a pretty small community, right? So everyone probably knows somebody.

8:26 Drew Is he doing okay?

8:28 Caller Yeah. He got shot in the leg. He's doing fine. But my problem is, I'm concerned about the guy's best friend. It was because the shooting guy, he was like he aimed the gun at his best friend and he tried to shoot him. But I don't know. He ran away or something. I saw it on the news. I called him but his line was busy. I couldn't really talk to him.

8:54 Adam He tried to shoot his best friend?

8:56 Caller Yeah. He's like a mental illness. I'll show him.

8:58 Caller Yeah.

8:59 Adam Well, so you're worried about the guy?

9:01 Caller Yeah. I think he's going to have a nervous breakdown. I'll show him.

9:03 Drew Well, he's going to have a post-traumatic stress reaction, which a lot of kids from Columbine had. But he'll be okay. He'll be all right.

9:10 Adam Well, I'm sure he's getting counseled right now.

9:14 Drew Sure.

9:15 Adam I'm sure they brought in psychologists and all that stuff and they get on top of it. Oh, this is good times. Yeah.

9:23 Caller Yeah.

9:23 Adam Go ahead there, Drew.

9:24 Drew So we'll be in San Diego tomorrow night.

9:25 Caller San Diego tomorrow night.

9:26 Drew I'd be delighted to hear from people if they want to show up and talk about this whole thing. Yeah. It'll be at UC San Diego starting at seven o'clock.

9:34 Caller All right.

9:34 Adam So a very rare Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew appearance in San Diego.

9:38 Drew We haven't had one in a year.

9:40 Adam I don't think we've ever been to San Diego.

9:41 Drew No.

9:42 Adam Toby.

9:43 Drew Yeah.

9:43 Adam You're 23. What's up?

9:45 Caller I have a bit of a problem. The first thing is, I've been involved in a relationship for about two and a half years with my boss, who owns the company. That's not the hard part. The hard part is that she's married to my other boss.

10:09 Drew What does that mean?

10:11 Adam They're a team, husband and wife team.

10:13 Drew What kind of business?

10:14 Caller It's an entertainment company.

10:16 Drew In Indiana?

10:17 Caller In Illinois.

10:18 Drew Movie theater? What are we talking about?

10:20 Caller Pardon me?

10:22 Adam They rent disco balls.

10:23 Caller It's like a disc jockey service.

10:25 Adam I see. Mobile DJ?

10:27 Caller Yeah. Oh my god.

10:29 Adam Are you a mobile DJ?

10:31 Caller No. It's a little different. We're an interactive entertainment company.

10:34 Adam Okay. Good. Because if I go to a wedding and hear that god damn...

10:39 Caller Celebration?

10:40 Adam Celebrate? Oh, if I hear that or just Mony Mony by Billy Idol, I will put a gun in my mouth.

10:48 Caller Yeah. I like to side YMCA.

10:50 Adam Yeah. What is that with you? God damn mobile DJs? Did you just take the crampiest songs? Do people pick that?

10:57 Caller Yeah.

10:57 Adam If I hear that Bob Seeger old time rock and roll or any of those other just god awful songs?

11:04 Caller Adam, I'm so sick of that.

11:06 Adam As I said, the last wedding I went to, I almost just jumped through the stained glass window. I really did. I just can't, I could just play something good for a change.

11:14 Caller I agree.

11:15 Adam All right, buddy.

11:16 Caller Good.

11:16 Adam We're on the same page. So you're boffing your boss's wife and your boss.

11:21 Caller Let me tell you just a shortened version of the story. We took a business trip to Arizona about two and a half years ago or so. What happened was we ended up having to share a bed because the hotel people didn't bring up an extra bed.

11:41 Adam Good times.

11:42 Caller Exactly. Well, I woke up the next morning and she was spooning with me. Of course I was hard as a rock. Sure. She's a beautiful woman. To make the story even worse, my dad is a pastor. I wasn't really ready for this.

12:01 Adam All right. Well, okay. Now listen, how many encounters have you had with her?

12:06 Caller How many in-towners? I'm not sure.

12:07 Adam How many times have you been with her sexually?

12:10 Caller The story gets worse. I mean, it's been going on for two years. We're together quite a bit.

12:16 Drew Are you married too? Pardon? Are you married also?

12:19 Caller No.

12:19 Drew Is she in love with you?

12:21 Caller She says she is.

12:22 Adam Sounds like it. I know. What about her? Does she have kids?

12:25 Caller No, no kids.

12:26 Adam Oh, that's good.

12:27 Drew Is she in her twenties also?

12:28 Caller Yeah, she's twenty-six.

12:29 Adam And what about her husband?

12:31 Caller Her husband I'm scared of. Yeah. He's an Italian guy. He's a bigger guy than me.

12:36 Drew This is why you don't get married in your twenties. This is what people in their twenties do to each other when they're not married.

12:40 Adam Right.

12:40 Drew This is how the twenty-year-olds behave.

12:42 Adam All right. So why doesn't she get a divorce?

12:45 Caller She's afraid she's going to lose the business. He's a very greedy person.

12:50 Drew Yeah, lucrative business of a noble DJ.

12:53 Adam Yeah, I see. I see.

12:56 Caller She runs it. He kind of sits on his ass and takes the money.

13:00 Adam Listen, here's the deal. Let me explain everything in life. This is, I don't know why, but I'm harkening back to my roommate days when I give this speech, which is sometimes you have a really bad roommate. The guy may even be homicidal. But you know what? You don't want to get out because you got a 228 bucks wrapped up in a cleaning deposit. You'll be goddamn if you're going anywhere unless you get it back and you were there first and all. There's some times in life, everybody, when you have to sort of cut your losses and just get out. And that's my message to Toby and it's also my message to Toby's boss, which is, yeah, you're in a bad relationship. This guy's in a hole. He's not doing it. You're worried about losing this and that. Hey, you may have to cut a check, but you get out and you move on.

13:48 Drew Not only that, he was saying how she's the one, the brains behind the operation. You just set up another one.

13:52 Adam That's right. You'll split the business or someone will sell their half to the other and you move on.

13:58 Drew The courts aren't exactly bad to the women very often.

14:00 Adam No.

14:00 Drew They tend to be.

14:01 Adam Okay. So if she's in love with you, Toby, then she'll get out. Do you want her to get out of the relationship?

14:09 Caller Right.

14:09 Adam You do?

14:10 Caller Very much.

14:11 Adam Well, then give her an ultimatum.

14:13 Caller I have. She pulls this crap on me. If you want to go on about your life, and you can't handle the stress of this right now because I'm trying to get out of it and da-da-da, I'm doing my things the way I need to do them. And it seems like every time we talk about this situation, it always gets heated and she always wants to back out, and she has a nervous breakdown, starts crying, she gets a migraine, all these things.

14:37 Adam Okay.

14:38 Drew She is crazy.

14:38 Caller I can't, to be honest with you, I can't just get up and move on in my life because...

14:43 Adam Toby, somebody's going to have to move because she ain't moving and you ain't moving and someone's got to get on with it, right? And this one going...

14:51 Caller You feel I should just...

14:52 Adam Yes, you've wasted two years of your life.

14:55 Drew Not wasted.

14:56 Adam No, you got some good humping in Arizona, but here's what I'm saying, Toby. You need to tell her it's time to ask or get off the pot and you have to be man enough to say to yourself, if she ain't making that move, then you're making a move. One of you is making a move. She's either divorcing her husband and getting on with you or you're getting on. Or this one or the other.

15:18 Drew This will never change.

15:19 Adam Yes. It'll never change. You'll just stay locked in this holding pattern. All right. We're rolling on here, Drusky. Let's talk to Fiona who's 16.

15:33 Drew Also from San Diego.

15:34 Adam Hey, San Diego. We'll be out there tomorrow night at UC San Diego. Well, come on out and we'll see you.

15:41 Caller Okay.

15:41 Drew It's open to everyone.

15:42 Caller Adam, I think you are so sexy and so funny.

15:46 Adam Yeah. Well, wait till you see me tomorrow night.

15:49 Caller I'm only 16.

15:51 Adam That's all right, baby. What are the statutory red blocks in San Diego?

15:55 Drew Three years of perpetrator. You'll be 19.

15:57 Adam Oh, I see.

15:57 Caller And Drew, you have taught me more in one year of listening than in all my 16 years of life.

16:03 Adam Yeah.

16:04 Caller I appreciate you so much.

16:06 Adam Yeah.

16:06 Caller Okay. This is a very bizarre question. Okay. I've been doing this since I was a little girl. Like at night, I kind of go to my parents' bed. And it's so bizarre and so, so weird in this society. And I don't know how to, I don't know what's going on with me.

16:26 Adam You go to and sleep in your parents' bed?

16:29 Caller Yes. Yes, I do.

16:31 Drew Every night, you get, every night?

16:33 Caller Almost every night.

16:34 Drew Does something wake you up? Do you have a fearful dream or something?

16:36 Caller No, I'm not scared or anything. I just go.

16:39 Adam And where, and they're both in the bed?

16:42 Caller Yes, they're both in the bed.

16:44 Adam I wouldn't sleep in my parents' bed if it was in the Playboy mansion, if it was in the grotto, if it was floating in the grotto and both my parents were dead for 10 years, I still wouldn't go near that bed.

16:53 Drew And everything else was on fire around you.

16:55 Adam That's right. Would still not go on, I'd just burn. And your folks are okay with this?

17:02 Caller They're used to it after 16 years.

17:04 Drew Yeah, no, no. This is about them, this is not about you. Do you have other siblings?

17:08 I have two brothers.

17:09 Adam Yeah. You have hippie parents?

17:13 Caller We're Mexican.

17:15 Drew No, not really. It's not that you should be so embarrassed about this, but your parents are failing you on some level.

17:21 Caller Okay.

17:22 Drew And the reason it's sort of shameful and embarrassing for you is it's not.

17:25 Adam Hold on, do they have Mexican hippies?

17:28 Drew No, it's illegal.

17:30 Adam Yeah.

17:30 Drew It's outlawed.

17:31 Adam I don't know why it is, but they don't have, I don't think they have Mexican hippies.

17:35 Drew If they are, they have to pretend they're American Indian. Yeah.

17:38 Adam They make good hippies, those Mexicans, they should really give it a try. All right. So wait a minute, how many? Hold on, let me get, let me figure out a couple of things. Three brothers, right?

17:48 Caller Two brothers and I'm the middle child, the middle girl.

17:53 Adam I see. There's three of you all together.

17:54 Caller Yeah.

17:55 Adam And you guys all have your own room?

17:57 Caller Yeah, we do.

17:58 Adam And you still would go sleep with your parents?

18:02 Caller Yeah.

18:03 Drew Every night?

18:05 Caller About five times a week.

18:07 Adam Any alcoholism in the family?

18:10 Caller My dad.

18:10 Adam Yeah, he's got to be loaded.

18:12 Drew In order to sleep through that?

18:13 Caller But he quit. He quit.

18:15 Adam When did he quit?

18:17 Caller Before I was born, before he married my mother.

18:20 Adam Doesn't your dad get an erection at night?

18:22 Drew Nice.

18:23 Adam Well, think about it.

18:24 Caller Oh, my God.

18:25 Adam Well, you know what I'm saying? I'd roll over and hit someone with my penis. Do you know what I mean?

18:31 Drew Fiona's freaked out enough asking this question, for Christ's sake.

18:34 Adam I know, but doesn't every man get an erection in the morning? In the morning.

18:38 Caller I got that question, Adam.

18:39 Adam What does your dad sleep in?

18:41 Caller Um, I don't know, sweatpants? I don't know.

18:44 Adam Sweatpants, yeah. He wears like a pajama.

18:46 Caller I don't go next to my dad. I go next to my mother.

18:50 Adam Okay. What size bed?

18:52 Caller It's a queen. I didn't know you were going to ask.

18:54 Adam Queen ain't that big.

18:55 Drew No, they'll fit in it. A 16-year-old is not a small person.

18:59 Caller I'm small. I'm about 5'3, and 95 pounds.

19:03 Drew But, you know, just listen to her voice for a second. It's not the same little girl voice we normally get. No, but it has that underdeveloped quality to it.

19:11 Adam Are you a virgin?

19:12 Caller No.

19:14 Adam Your dad? What happened?

19:16 Caller No, I had a boyfriend a few months ago.

19:22 Adam Your folks in mind him getting on top of you in the same bed?

19:24 Caller No, they hated him because I would run away. I ran away like six times.

19:31 Drew Was somebody hitting you at home?

19:32 Caller No, it's a lame reason. I was just bored and I just needed it.

19:38 Adam What happened at home?

19:39 Caller No, I'm just a spoiled kid.

19:44 Adam Any physical abuse?

19:48 Caller My mom, she slaps me.

19:51 Drew That's physical abuse. The only kids that run away from home are being abused. That's it. There's got to be abuse or kids don't run away from home.

19:57 Adam The Mexican moms are like the Italian moms. They're fiery. The dads are just, they're drunk. They're sitting on the sofa. They won't watch soccer.

20:05 Drew They've got time to beat the kids.

20:07 Adam Mental note, beat kids tomorrow after I sober up. Your mom whacks on you?

20:12 A little bit, yeah.

20:14 Adam Any sexual abuse?

20:15 Drew No. This whole situation you're in is because of the parenting you've been exposed to. Your parents, while they abuse you on certain levels, and that's what caused you to act out a certain amount and have difficulty dealing with your anger, they're not giving you the nourishment you need to complete the process of individuation. So at the same time as they're sort of pushing you away with the physical abuse, they're not giving you the opportunity to disconnect from them and mature and move away. They should not be allowing you to come in bed at night. They need to help you stay in bed, give you opportunities to grow and develop separately from them.

20:51 Adam Seriously, at 16, you imagine hopping in bed with your folks. I didn't like being with my folks on Thanksgiving at 16. The table wasn't big enough. I couldn't imagine getting between them in bed.

21:06 Drew It's pretty wild. But it's gratifying. The person who's being gratified the most is mom. Mom's putting her unwillingness to do the work of parenting and her need for gratification ahead of the kids' needs. And it's bad for her old feeling of...

21:21 Adam All right. We've got to take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Don, who's 30. Another similar question here. Wants to know if it's okay to masturbate with three-year-old in bed with her. So let me just check real fast. Don? Yeah? You want to masturbate while your three-year-old's in bed with you? He's asleep. You're not using him like a vibrator? No. Okay, hold on. I was thinking the three-year-old's about right size. You hold the kid's feet, push him up over there, you know what I mean? All right, we'll get back with Don. Well, we should really have a competition between Don and Fiona's moms. Who's the worst mom in America after this. Yeah, it's the love line, kiddies. This is your host, Adam Corolla, and your co-host over there, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Hey, Wednesday, Cisco's gonna be in here.

22:49 Drew Nice.

22:50 Adam I like Cisco. He was in here a year ago.

22:55 Drew I think so.

22:56 Adam And he's a real fun guy.

22:58 Drew Yeah.

22:59 Adam I think he's enjoying his life. You know, you get that vibe from Cisco?

23:03 Drew Yeah.

23:03 Adam You're not angry. He's happy. So Cisco will be in here on Wednesday. It will be good to see him again. Don?

23:09 Yeah.

23:10 Adam So you're 30.

23:11 Yeah, but... I want to ask Dr. Drew the real question I called. I just made that up. Because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe I got through.

23:19 Adam All right.

23:20 Adam, I think you're funny, but I resent the fact that...

23:22 Drew All right. What's the real question?

23:23 Adam What's the real question? Oh, hold on a second, you screwball. Listen to me all you...

23:27 Drew I try to protect you there, Don.

23:28 Adam Listen to me all you MFers. You call under false pretense. You give a fake question. Then you admit you give a fake question. But you desperately need to talk to Dr. Drew about your real question. All right. I'm sympathetic to that. Spare me the diatribe and the critique on my presentation before you then get to your very important... You know what I mean? Do you really got to take a few beats out and talk to me and then end up where we're at now? With me yelling at you and you back on hold? You didn't want to just ask Drew the question? Let me just torture this Don for another second. Hey, Don? Yeah. Yeah, smooth move. All right. Hang on for another few minutes, all right? All right. Let's talk to Joe, who's 21.

24:15 Caller Yeah. I got a little bit of a problem. Yeah. I just got married about two weeks ago and my wife and I are both virgins. And whenever we try to have sex then she's got this excruciating pain.

24:29 Drew Right at the beginning?

24:32 Caller Not right at the beginning. We start going in just a little bit, get about an inch in and she just almost is on the brink of tears.

24:41 Adam So you get halfway in and she starts crying.

24:44 Caller Yeah.

24:45 Adam I see.

24:47 Caller We've tried putting up fingers and stuff up there and those go up no problem. And according to her, she thinks that I'm hitting the pubic bone.

24:58 Drew No.

24:59 Adam Why were you both virgins?

25:02 Caller We're both religious.

25:03 Adam I see. What's your religion?

25:04 Drew Mormon.

25:05 Adam Good times. And do you use lubrication?

25:10 Caller We got KY and astroglide.

25:12 Adam Nice. Makes yourself a nice suicide concoction there. And you use an astroglide and a KY and a little vaseline. That's called suicide.

25:23 Drew I see.

25:24 Adam And is still having trouble?

25:26 Caller Yeah.

25:28 Adam Is she tense? Is she nervous?

25:32 Caller I don't think so.

25:33 Drew Is she small?

25:36 Caller One doctor has told her she's a little small. But another one has told her that she's not unusually small and that everything should be fine.

25:42 Adam Was he having sex with her or was he examining her?

25:44 Caller No, he was examining her.

25:45 Drew How about you?

25:47 Adam How are you doing in the girth department?

25:50 Caller I think I'm fairly average. When she was in the seventh grade though, the doctor that told her she was small, she was having appendicitis and the doctors didn't know what it was. So they thought maybe it was something wrong with her reproductive organs or something. So they jammed a couple of fingers up there to feel around it. That really hurt her. She thought that was really bad.

26:12 Adam Bad times.

26:13 Caller I'm wondering if that's any kind of mental connection?

26:15 Drew Well, you wonder if something happened before that. That sort of set her up to have that kind of sensitivity to that activity, that happened.

26:23 Adam Yeah, I don't know. That seems like enough for a seventh grader.

26:26 Drew That now she would have vaginismus chronically?

26:29 Adam Let me explain something about the vagina. The vagina is like a garage door and the clicker is in the woman's mind.

26:37 Drew I see.

26:37 Adam You understand?

26:38 Drew Click, click.

26:39 Adam And she can click that thing open and click it shut without even knowing it.

26:42 Drew But if you do it before it's properly sort of installed, you'll break the spring?

26:47 Adam She could have broken a spring, yeah. What I'm saying is, if that was, that could have been traumatizing for a young Mormon girl in the seventh grade to have a guy prodding around up there at a hospital.

26:58 Drew Enough to cause chronic vaginismus.

27:01 Adam No, but enough to then, with the religion and the virginity and just losing it now. I mean, this person is retarded. I don't mean retarded, no.

27:12 Drew Delayed, delayed.

27:13 Adam But I mean, I mean the opposite of advanced.

27:15 Drew Yeah, delayed.

27:16 Adam Delayed. And so possibly, she's going through some stuff that she would have been going through at 16.

27:23 Drew Yeah, yeah.

27:24 Adam Now, meanwhile, she's got a lot of religion and keeping her legs together for 21 years.

27:31 Drew And let me talk to Joe again.

27:33 Adam I think this is growing pains here, Drew.

27:34 Drew And, Joe, she's seen doctors recently?

27:38 Caller She went to Planned Parenthood about three months ago.

27:41 Drew Why didn't she have just a regular physician?

27:45 Caller Oh, because she wanted to get on the pill.

27:47 Drew Yeah. Why didn't she have a regular primary care doctor?

27:50 Caller I'm not sure.

27:51 Drew Okay. Why don't you get her a doctor that she can go to and work through these things and figure out what's going on here?

27:56 Caller Okay.

27:57 Drew That's ridiculous. You guys are a married couple now, establishing a life. She's got a medical problem that may or may not have anything to do with something going on physical. It may be due to her stress. It may be due to that previous trauma. But it needs to be checked out. And if it isn't anything, you need to be very careful and gentle and slow with her and it will work itself out.

28:14 Adam All right there, Joe. Take care. This will work out. I'm not too worried about this. All right, Don. Here we go, baby. What's the question?

28:21 Okay, Dr. Drew. My question is, I was sexually molested. My sister was sexually molested by my cousin. And I, I came out with it when I was about 19 years old. And when I found, when I told my parents, my mom blamed me.

28:38 Drew Yeah.

28:38 And he, this, this man saw my, both my brothers.

28:41 Drew Nice.

28:42 Before he even got to me and my sister.

28:44 Drew Very nice. Okay.

28:46 So I'm wondering, now he's a DEA agent. How he, he bragged about passing lie detector tests. I was wondering, I mean, for me, I, I wonder if he did it to his children.

28:58 Drew Sure.

28:59 You think?

28:59 Drew Well, people don't just do this, you know, as a hobby.

29:03 Adam And by the way, you could have made it on with this call, Don.

29:06 I could have what?

29:07 Adam You could have easily made it on the show with this call. I know you said, you said you had a different call, so you could make it on the show. This is acceptable for Loveline. Got a DEA agent, he's sodomized, his cousins, and raped.

29:20 Well, excuse me.

29:21 Adam Easy, baby.

29:22 He messed up both my brothers and my sister and myself. He forced my brother to have sex with me. I mean, my sister's listening right now and she asked me what the question was gonna be and I wanted to surprise her because she went one way and I went the other, you know?

29:36 Adam Her birthday's coming up, right?

29:38 Drew What are the trajectories you two went on? They're called trajectories. People either shut down sexually or they kind of get going.

29:44 My sister shut down sexually and I was very promiscuous.

29:47 Adam I was gonna guess that one.

29:48 Drew Yeah.

29:49 Adam Hey, Don?

29:50 Yeah.

29:51 Adam Okay. So there's a lot to sort out here, so let's start sorting. This cousin of yours, this is the son of who?

29:59 My mom's sister.

30:01 Drew No surprise, because mom is the one that blamed you.

30:03 Adam Right.

30:04 Drew And we can bet that mom's dad was a piece of work.

30:07 I don't know. My mom...

30:08 Drew Yeah, listen, because your mom's sister married an a-hole who did something undoubtedly to his son.

30:14 Well, he died when he was just a baby.

30:16 Drew He's six months old.

30:18 Adam I bet she hooked up with another guy. Exactly.

30:21 Oh, she's with a big a-hole today.

30:22 Drew That's the point.

30:23 Adam Shocking.

30:24 Drew Yeah.

30:24 Adam All right, so, Don, your mom, I'll bet you, what about, where's your grandfather? Where's your mom's dad?

30:30 My mom's dad died before we were all born.

30:32 Drew Did she tell stories about him?

30:33 My mom is so secretive. She don't tell nobody nothing.

30:36 Adam Yeah. That grandfather, that alcoholic, abusive grandfather, something was wrong with him. He did something to your mom. Screwed him up.

30:47 Drew And your aunt.

30:48 Adam And what about your dad?

30:50 My dad died of alcoholism.

30:52 Drew There you go.

30:53 My father never abused me.

30:54 Drew I know, but your mom picked an alcoholic like her father. See, people that have had alcoholic parents will then get married to alcoholics. That's sort of a typical pattern.

31:02 Adam Okay. So I'm telling you, we know more about your family than you do just from hearing your question the last three minutes. Yeah. All right. So everything's a mess. Now, what are your two brothers doing now?

31:14 Oh, they're more effed up than I am. My brothers are miserable. I'm in the fellowship of AA. Good.

31:20 Drew One a heroin addict and one's in jail sort of thing.

31:22 What do you mean?

31:23 Drew Your brothers?

31:24 No, no, me.

31:25 Drew But your brothers. We asked how they're doing.

31:26 No. My brother is a drug addict. The other one is hard of hearing and he just is miserable with life. I think he might be gay. He may not be. He doesn't want to be gay. My dad called him a faggot his whole life. I was a heroin addict.

31:40 Drew Oh, you were the heroin addict.

31:41 Which I'm not anymore. My husband's in jail and he's trying to get his life together. We've been together ten years. We have a three-year-old son named Gunner.

31:48 Adam Yeah. That's good. It's always funny when criminals give their kid's names after like firearms and the name like Jesse James and stuff like that.

31:57 No, I got that name from Homer Sison.

31:59 Adam I know it's his kid's name, but it is kind of ironic that his dad's in jail. Gunner's dad is in the Who Scouts. Sort of funny if you think about it in a sad, pathetic way.

32:11 Drew Alright, so you're in recovery, so that's good. That's the first bit of good news in this whole thing. Are you doing any SA recovery as well?

32:18 No, I went to a treatment center at Neurodentist Family for 16 months.

32:23 Drew For heroin?

32:25 Heroin, alcohol addiction, crystal meth addiction, marijuana.

32:29 Drew You gotta get your sexual addictions too. You gotta get that out there.

32:32 Adam And how's Gunner doing?

32:35 Gunner is awesome. I mean, I did a lot of messed up things to him, but I'm trying to really, I mean, every time I tried to get this recovery thing, I did it for my son, I did it for my family, I did it for my dad, but this time I'm doing it for myself.

32:47 Drew How long sober are you?

32:50 12 to 13 days. I took a hit of marijuana, so this is about honesty, so I had to start over, but I haven't done any heroin or speed since January 12th.

32:58 Adam All right, listen to me. You got that three-year-old son of yours? You have to treat him like a Ming Vaz, you understand? You cannot do anything more to him and screw his life up, because this horrible, horrible path that your family is on has to end with this kid.

33:16 Drew You see how sexual abuse, what it does? It sets off a chain reaction that destroys several generations.

33:22 Adam Yes.

33:23 Drew It's amazing.

33:23 Well, I believe that if I was never sexually abused, I would never have done drugs.

33:28 Drew You would have been an alcoholic, but you probably wouldn't have been a heroin addict. Your alcoholism may not have come on until much, much later in life.

33:34 Adam All right. Listen, you got to stay sober, and I'm not so sure about Gunner's dad who's in jail. When is he getting out?

33:43 I'm thinking sometime in April, but I figure if I can give myself a chance, I got to give him one, but I'm not going to go live with him. He's got to go to treatment. He's got to get his life together.

33:51 Drew Give him a year maybe and get it together. That's right. That's a good plan. How many times a day do you talk to your sponsor?

33:56 I see my sponsor. I talk to her. I have to call her every day. I talk to her tonight. I go to meetings every two times a day.

34:00 Adam Move in if you're a sponsor now.

34:01 Drew Two times a day meeting, daily sponsor, sounds fine. All right.

34:04 Adam And no more kids. Please for the love of, wait a minute, I bet she's fixed or something. Donna, are you fixed?

34:11 Am I what?

34:12 Adam Why don't you have more than one kid?

34:14 Am I fixed?

34:15 Adam Why don't you have more than one kid?

34:17 Because I was smarter than the other people. I don't want anymore.

34:20 Adam Good.

34:21 I don't need to, you know, maybe in five years.

34:23 Drew How are you having birth control? What are you using birth control?

34:25 I don't have sex. My husband's in jail.

34:27 Adam Good times. All right.

34:28 Drew OK.

34:28 Adam Please, no more. That's how come she doesn't have more kids or husbands in the can. Wait a minute. Didn't you say he was in there for 10 years?

34:36 Drew No, no, no. I didn't hear that.

34:37 Adam I swear I did. How long has your husband been in jail?

34:41 I went to jail January 8, 2001 on his birthday, and he went to jail January 12. He's been in there. I haven't seen him since.

34:49 Adam OK. So it's only been since January.

34:51 And I was on drugs that whole time. I never got pregnant. But we always used condoms or I was on drugs.

34:56 Adam All right, baby. That's good. You take care of that one you got. Oh, Jesus. You see everybody. Listen, the only way to put an end to this is just for people to stop having kids who are infected. I look at you as infected.

35:11 Drew But here's the nice news. There are treatments that work.

35:14 Adam Yes.

35:14 Drew And she's taking advantage of that. And so she's breaking the cycle. It's a tough disease to break.

35:20 Adam Yeah. Thank God her mom had four kids. Her molested mom went out and had four kids with a nice alcoholic guy and let the brother have a crack at all of them. Pantabulous. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Good times.

36:07 Caller Hey, yeah, my new favorite riff.

36:11 Adam Don't we normally play this riff in the 11 o'clock tower?

36:13 Caller Later, yeah, yeah.

36:14 Caller Yeah, all right.

36:16 Adam I don't care, good times. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew. We're going to be in San Diego, UC San Diego tomorrow night, so come on out.

36:28 Drew Seven o'clock.

36:29 Adam See how tall Drew is in real life. Nicole?

36:33 Yes.

36:34 Adam You're 17?

36:35 Caller Yes.

36:36 Adam What's up?

36:37 Caller I have a question. My boyfriend has oral herpes, and when he had a breakout one time, he didn't find out until the next day when it actually did break out. He had gone down on me the night before, and I was wondering, can that be transmitted to vaginal herpes?

36:55 Drew Absolutely. Do you have any symptoms?

36:59 Caller I noticed one little bump on my vagina probably about a week ago, but then it went away.

37:07 Adam Hey, Drew.

37:08 Drew That doesn't sound like herpes.

37:08 Adam You said absolutely, but we've talked about this before, and it's sort of... I thought the jury was out on this.

37:15 Caller Yeah, because I thought that they were...

37:16 Adam Oh, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm mistaken.

37:19 Drew Well, you can transmit it to yourself.

37:20 Adam No, no. I was thinking of warts.

37:22 Drew Oh, yeah. No, no. This is herpes. Herpes absolutely can go from mouth to vagina, vagina to mouth. No problem. But you sound like you may have dodged that bullet. You would have more than just a little bump.

37:32 Caller Oh, I would?

37:33 Drew Yeah.

37:34 Caller Okay.

37:35 Drew But, you know, it's something that might need to get... Do you want me to talk to your doctor about how you can check out?

37:39 Caller Oh, yeah. Definitely. But so they're not different strains at all?

37:44 Drew No. They both are in both places.

37:47 Caller Okay.

37:47 Adam And it's the same one, top side, as it is bottom side.

37:51 Drew Well, they both appear in both places. They're two different viruses, but they both go to both. All you need is just a mucosal surface. You can get in your eye. You get it in your skin. You get it in a lot of different places.

38:01 Adam Yeah, but you can't give it to yourself.

38:04 Drew No, the auto-inoculation is not that well understood. Why can't you transmit it from one place to another?

38:09 Adam It's kind of weird. Yeah, you could scratch a herpesor and then scratch your nuts and not get it on your nuts.

38:14 Drew But if you scratch your eye, you'd probably get it.

38:16 Adam Well, I'm going to try that. Put my finger in an infected herpesor and then poke it in my eye.

38:21 Drew That'd be good.

38:22 Adam Okay.

38:22 Drew Good times.

38:23 Adam Good times. Both eyes?

38:24 Drew No, just one.

38:25 Adam Just one?

38:25 Drew I want a control eye.

38:27 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah, to have one left over for another experiment someday?

38:31 Drew Just so we can, yeah.

38:32 Adam Right.

38:32 Drew Okay.

38:33 Adam Brittany?

38:34 Caller Yeah.

38:34 Adam You're 18.

38:35 Caller Yeah.

38:36 Adam What's up?

38:37 Caller I have a, like, I don't know. It's a weird question.

38:41 Adam All righty.

38:42 Caller Well, about two months ago, I got raped by like three different people. Every time I have sex with my boyfriend now, we end up stopping because I pictured and it hurts.

38:54 Adam Sure.

38:55 Caller And I guess I'm just wondering how.

38:56 Drew Were you sexually abused as a child?

38:59 Caller By my stepdad.

39:00 Drew Yeah. Magical. That would be the rape victim.

39:03 Adam I want to tell you, man, you were like Creskin.

39:06 Caller How do you know?

39:09 Drew We were just talking in the break how people are so afraid, so afraid to admit to how predictable humans are. You know, you got a certain input, you got a certain output. Right.

39:17 Adam We knew by the fact that you were raped three times in a few months back that you had been abused. I mean, it's not your fault and it's still sad.

39:26 Drew The sad part is that the victimizers pick up on that and they take advantage of that.

39:30 Caller Yeah, but right, but when it happened two months ago, it was by one of my boyfriend and his friends.

39:38 Drew That's nice.

39:38 Adam Your boyfriend and his friends?

39:40 Caller Yeah.

39:41 Adam Well, you're still with your boyfriend though, right?

39:43 Caller No, it was my ex-boyfriend.

39:45 Adam I see. And what about your stepdad? Where's he now?

39:49 Caller My mom got a divorce with him and she remarried another guy.

39:53 Drew Another abusive guy.

39:54 Adam I don't trust that other guy either. How's this guy?

40:02 Caller My stepdad?

40:03 Yeah.

40:05 Caller He does drugs and he's verbally abusive.

40:10 Drew We'd magically predict that your mom's dad was an abuser, sexual abuser and alcoholic too.

40:16 Caller I didn't know her mom.

40:16 Drew Or mom was, okay.

40:18 Adam Wow. That's good. Jeez, hold on a second. No, everyone loves these rants, especially our program director. But really, when I'm in charge, I'm going to treat people like, you know how they treat cows with mad cow disease? Yeah, sure. It's like, hey, one's infected, you got to put a bullet in it. You know why? It puts the hurt at risk. I would have done that with her mom and then her mom's mom. We just got to start cutting our losses as a civilization at a certain point, don't we? Yeah. It's like we have a big herd here and some of them are infected. I think we got to put them down. For the good of the herd, right? For their own good. Oh, I don't know about their own good. All right. Anyway. Yes, Drew, you agree with me. Thank you.

41:06 Drew People have favorably compared you with Hitler.

41:09 Adam Unfavorably. Brittany, you've got to get some help, maybe.

41:13 Caller Well, how can I like get over it? So when I do have sex with him, I don't.

41:19 Adam You've got to get some help.

41:20 Drew It's going to take a long time. You got to go to rape counseling? You've been in a rape group, women's group?

41:24 Caller I did, but it didn't last.

41:26 Drew How long did you go for?

41:28 For about two weeks.

41:29 Drew Yeah, you got to go. Well, you got to go there and you've got to participate, not just sit there quietly.

41:35 Caller Well, when I talk to my mom about it, my dad, she tells my dad and my dad says it's my fault. Is there like any way that can be my fault?

41:41 Drew It's not. What did you want to be a victim of a violent crime?

41:45 Caller Well, no.

41:46 Drew Okay. It's not your fault. You didn't ask to be a violent crime.

41:48 Adam You really think your dad says it's your fault?

41:50 Drew That's the abusive a-hole dad that that crazy mom married.

41:53 Adam No, I know he's a piece of work. But you're talking about your biological dad too, right? Right. Right. No, and I know the guy's a world-class a-hole, but I still bet he doesn't say it's her fault. He just sweeps it under the covers, and that's what Brittany hears. Do you know what I'm saying? All right, that's neither here nor there.

42:11 Drew Yeah, it doesn't matter.

42:12 Adam So, Brittany, you've got to take care of yourself. Do not get pregnant.

42:18 Drew Oh, please.

42:18 Caller Oh, do you have a kid?

42:21 Caller No, but I am pregnant.

42:22 Oh, God.

42:23 Adam Baby, baby.

42:25 Drew How do we know that with that silence when he said don't get pregnant?

42:27 Adam Oh, baby. Baby, what are you going to do? Keep going with this?

42:32 Caller But it's not by my ex, or it's not by my boyfriend that I have now.

42:36 Adam Right. It's by the abusive guy.

42:38 Drew Yells above.

42:39 Adam Right.

42:40 Caller By my ex-boyfriend.

42:41 Adam Can you get an abortion?

42:43 Caller I'm not rich.

42:45 Adam You're not rich?

42:46 Drew No.

42:46 Adam Well, what are you going to do? How are you going to raise the kid?

42:49 Drew Wait, abortion, the government will pay for that.

42:51 Adam I'll pay for it. I really will.

42:54 Drew How do you think abortion compares at all to the thousands of dollars it takes to raise a kid? Brittany, what planet are you visiting right now?

43:05 Adam Well, Brittany, how pregnant are you?

43:08 Caller Two months and three weeks.

43:10 Adam All right. You want to see the pregnant through? What are you going to do with the kid?

43:15 Drew How about adoption for the child?

43:17 Caller I thought about that.

43:19 Drew That would be great.

43:20 Adam Give it up for adoption.

43:21 Drew That would be a way to break the cycle of victimization that you're in. Get this child set up in a family that really wants to have a child, and has the resources and the health to do that.

43:31 Caller Is it too late to have an abortion?

43:32 Adam No.

43:33 Drew You have one week.

43:33 Adam Never too late, baby. How much is an abortion over there in Michigan?

43:38 Caller I'm not in Minnesota.

43:40 Adam Minnesota.

43:41 Drew Are you 46? Nothing, I would think.

43:44 Adam How much is it? 300, 400 bucks?

43:47 Caller Like four something.

43:49 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you. That's going to save you some money. I'm telling you, my abortion is like 400 bucks. My dad spent close to 600 on me.

44:00 Drew Wow. In your lifetime.

44:02 Adam Yeah, and another 300 on my sister, so that's a lot more than $400.

44:07 Drew Wow.

44:08 Adam Yeah, and do the math. That's almost the same as like 30% or something. At least that was the math my dad explained to me when I graduated high school. I spent more than- Oh, Brittany, baby, baby, don't get- you spend more on one weekend at Disneyland with you. It's a little bit of a bunch of years.

44:24 Drew More than applications on school.

44:26 Adam Listen, do not- listen all of you, stop getting pregnant, stop it. Stop it, you're ruining the world. This kid in the hands of Brittany and her screwed up boyfriend, does this kid have a chance? Do you understand? This is where every penny of our resources is going. Brittany's kid, everyone, that's why your taxes are so high. You understand? That kid is going to cost us $2 million. We got counselors, we got probation officers, we got to build more prisons and use up more resources. That's it. That's what's going to cost us. Do we understand that? Do we see that? Can we do something about that? Brittany, get an abortion, please, or give the child up for adoption, please. Let's talk to Sean. Sean, you're 24.

45:17 Caller Hey guys, I made up my question, I'm sorry.

45:19 Adam All right.

45:20 Caller I wanted to ask you guys a real quick question specifically to Drew. Drew, how do you as a doctor advocate the use of the Adderall of the Dexedrenes of the world to children as young as six when their brains are still wet like Adam likes to say?

45:33 Drew Because when you look at the science on this, it's very clear that it improves outcome in terms of decreasing the potential of character pathology. What are you talking about? ADD and ADHD using stimulants. I think it's overused in some areas, and in some areas it's underused. I think generally it should be prescribed by people that are experts, psychiatrists that can truly diagnose ADD. It shouldn't be done by pediatricians.

45:54 Adam So they're giving this stuff to kids as young as six and seven years old?

45:58 Drew Yeah, it's a little young to begin with. But I thought for sure we were creating speed addicts, so I looked at this data very carefully. And even in those kids who are addicts, they have less addiction, less severe addiction, and their outcomes are all markedly improved with those medications. And so I had to back off of that opinion because it's clearly something that works. It's got to be used very carefully though with kids with the addictive gene, as many ADD, ADHD kids have.

46:22 Adam And listen, everyone, please stop worrying about the man. Start worrying about your own crappy kids, would you? There is no man. There's just a whole bunch of guys, and just because they have degrees doesn't make them bad. Alright, we'll take a break. Yeah, it's Loveline.

47:19 Caller I'm Adam Corolla.

47:20 Adam Dr. Drew is answering his page right now.

47:22 Caller He's on the phone to the hospital.

47:24 Adam I don't know why he had to do it in the studio where I can hear him, but that's life in the big city, kiddies. All right, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Forget about that fax number. Cisco, in here Wednesday night. There you go, Drew. You want to try wiping that jacket on the mic one more time?

47:40 Drew Nice.

47:42 Adam We'll be in San Diego, UC San Diego tomorrow night. Come on out and say hi, kitties. John? Year 20? Yeah. Yeah?

47:53 Caller Yes, yes.

47:54 Adam What's up?

47:56 Caller I've been with my fiancé for about three years, and just about the last year or two, I've been cheating on her quite often.

48:06 Drew Why has she been a fiancé for three years?

48:08 Adam No, hasn't been a fiancé for three years.

48:10 Caller I've been with her for three years.

48:11 Adam Right. You guys just got engaged six months ago.

48:13 Caller Something like that. All right.

48:15 Drew Why did you engage if you were cheating on her?

48:17 Caller I really care about this girl, and when it happens, it's when I'm drunk. When I get totally slop ass drunk, and I don't know why, but girls get drunk and they want to get in the sack.

48:36 Adam Sure. Well, you're a piece of ass, I'm sure. What do you do for a living? I'm getting construction out of you.

48:43 Caller I'm an auto mechanic.

48:44 Adam Oh, I was thinking I had that metal, that little metal thing that goes up my spine too. All right. So, John. Yes. Can you stop getting so sloppy drunk, so you then stop cheating?

48:56 Caller I really like to drink.

48:58 Adam All right. Well, you're heading for what you call a white trash kind of life, working on cars and getting loaded and cheating on your wife.

49:08 Caller I mean, I work on cars because I'm opening my own restoration shop in a few years with a couple of my buddies.

49:15 Drew Right. Not if you keep drinking.

49:16 Adam Right. In Maui?

49:17 Drew Yeah.

49:18 Caller I mean, I don't drink that often. This is like a weekend thing.

49:21 Drew Yeah.

49:22 Adam But you get sloppy drunk. You're not a very good drunk. You make bad decisions.

49:28 Drew And you're, listen, alcoholism is defined not by how much you drink or how frequently you drink, but by the consequences.

49:34 Caller Yes.

49:35 Drew And you're having tons of consequences here. And you're not willing to change. That's alcoholism.

49:41 Caller Right. I mean, I know all that. I've been in rehabs a couple of times.

49:45 Drew Oh, magical. Just on the weekends. Yeah. Why don't you include that in the history there that you've been addicted for a long time.

49:51 Caller No, I mean, I used to smoke free trees all the time. That was my, well, that's weed right there. I was a big weed smoker every day all day.

49:59 Drew Well, now you switched over to alcohol.

50:01 Caller Yeah.

50:02 Adam Yeah.

50:02 Drew Okay. Well, it's the same thing.

50:05 Adam Hey, listen, John. All right, let me explain something. You can, you understand this because you understand cars. These guys, they can think, okay. You got that alcoholic gene, okay? Yeah. And that's going to predispose you to getting hooked on stuff. You were hooked on weed and now you're hooked on booze.

50:25 Drew And sex.

50:26 Adam Now, I don't care how much you drink. The point is, is it's having adverse effects on your life, okay? So, you're going to have to stop or it's going to, you're going to spiral down with it, all right?

50:40 Drew You just switch from weed, you just get cross addicted.

50:43 Adam I don't know why you're arguing with us.

50:44 Caller You're making our point.

50:46 Caller I mean, the actual question was, I mean, what do I do with her? She doesn't know.

50:53 Adam Don't tell her and don't get married.

50:55 Drew Don't do anything.

50:55 Adam Don't have any kids.

50:57 Drew Get in recovery. Don't make any decisions for the next six months and get going back in your program. You know what the hell you're supposed to be doing. You've been in treatment before.

51:03 Caller Yeah, but we...

51:05 Drew Hey, listen, John.

51:06 Adam What do you want? What do you want?

51:08 Caller I mean, I want to know what do I do with her?

51:11 Drew What did I just tell you?

51:12 Adam What do you mean what do you do with her? You stuff her and you have her mounted on the hood of your car.

51:17 Drew You get in the program. You don't make any decisions for six months. You let her get involved in codependency recovery. At the end of that six months of active involvement recovery, you think about what you want to do at that point, but don't do anything now.

51:29 Adam You have any kids?

51:30 Caller No. Thank God.

51:32 Adam Please don't get her pregnant. Please.

51:35 Caller Her wasn't the problem. One of the other girls is having an abortion with my kid.

51:39 Adam Okay, good. That's all we need is another one of you running around. Alright, listen, really, just don't be, look in the mirror, tape record yourself talking once in a while. Just don't become this pile of white drunken trash, alright?

51:54 Caller Yeah, I don't see myself as white trash.

51:56 Adam I know you don't. That's part of being white trash.

52:01 Screwball.

52:02 Adam Listen, all you, take a look at yourself. Just take your life and assess it for a minute. What are you doing?

52:09 Drew Describe it and sit back and listen to somebody describing that life.

52:13 Adam Take your life and write it down, would you?

52:15 Drew That's what you become. That's who you are.

52:17 Adam I got a fiancee I'm cheating on every other weekend. I'm getting sloppy drunk.

52:21 Drew No, I'm a 20-year-old guy. I've been in rehab multiple times. I've switched now over to alcohol and when I drink I get loaded and I do crazy ass that gets me in trouble. I don't want to do.

52:31 Adam I just knocked up some bitch I was screwing on the side who just had an abortion.

52:35 Drew But in a couple years I'm going to open up a restoration business with my buddy.

52:39 Adam No, you're not. No, you're not.

52:41 Drew That's right.

52:42 Adam Believe me, in a few years you're going to be a lot worse shape than you are now.

52:45 Drew Yeah, you're going to have progressed your disease.

52:47 Adam That's right. That's right. Tony?

52:51 Caller Yeah.

52:52 Adam You're 16.

52:53 Caller Yeah.

52:55 Adam What's up?

52:58 Caller I've got this problem. I'm addicted to pornography and it's been getting me into trouble lately.

53:05 Drew How?

53:06 Caller Well, today I just got suspended from school for looking at it on a school computer.

53:12 Caller Yeah.

53:13 Drew Okay, what's your question?

53:18 Caller Is there like any way? I mean, is there any way that I can avoid that? I mean, I've been trying and like whenever I may, I always get on with the intention of like checking my email or something. Well, then it always like deviates.

53:32 Drew Well, but some of that is sort of normal 16-year-old impulse. The problem is you do it at school, you can't contain the impulses and you sound kind of not... Bogus? No, no. Yeah, I get a little bit of a vibe in there. I'm getting not comfortable in his own skin kind of thing. And I'm not sure it's all about the sexual compulsivity. I think there might be something more going on here.

53:54 Caller Yeah?

53:55 Drew Or is bogus.

53:56 Adam Tony?

53:57 Caller Yeah?

53:58 Adam What were you looking at today?

54:00 Caller Well, just women and stuff.

54:03 Adam Now, what site were you on?

54:06 Caller I was on some sex files thing. It's like a newsletter that can be sent to my e-mail. And it came out of my e-mail and I checked from there.

54:16 Adam All right. That's specific information. I'm all right with that. And were you ever sexually abused?

54:26 Caller No. Not that I can remember.

54:29 Drew I'm not sure this is that. I think this is just more...

54:31 Adam All right.

54:32 Drew Obsessive compulsiveness, depression, those sorts of things.

54:34 Adam Well, you got to contain yourself, everybody.

54:36 Drew No. You need to talk to someone, don't you? You get an evaluation.

54:39 Adam You think it's depressed?

54:40 Drew It's something. It's something going on.

54:42 Adam How about, Drew, how about this sort of inherent therapy in containing yourself and disciplining yourself?

54:51 Drew Yeah.

54:52 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

54:52 Drew Containment is the ultimate goal, isn't it? It's not like it's been for the last 30 years where they say hang out, go for it, do whatever you want. It's your world. You go for it. No, no. It's about containment.

55:02 Caller That's health.

55:03 Adam Here's what I'm saying, everybody. And I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying, Drew. But I'm saying if you are on a diet and you think, God, I want a hot fudge sundae right now, and you start walking to the refrigerator and you stop on the way and you go in the next room and you skip rope for 10 minutes and then you eat a salad and go to bed, and you got stronger. Right there. I mean, that's where the trip to the therapist office is. Right there. You basically started ahead of direction, stopped yourself, and did discipline yourself. And that's, man, if you can reign yourself in, if you can contain yourself, if you can discipline yourself, if you can stop yourself from doing those impulses and redirect yourself, you're going to have the world by the tail. And if you can start training yourself like that early on, you're going to get far in life. And there's a real strength in that. And the more of those you do, the more victories you have and the stronger you get. And that doesn't take a therapist per se. That's just the sort of being cognizant of your situation and realistic. You got any sleeping pills, Drew?

56:20 Drew For tomorrow night.

56:21 Adam No, I mean, tonight. I'll wash them down with some booze when I get home. Annie?

56:24 Yeah.

56:25 Adam You're 16. What's up?

56:27 Caller Okay. I have a question because on Saturday night, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. We've been going out for two months and I'm just very scared that maybe I'm pregnant or something because-

56:40 Drew What did you use for contraception?

56:42 Caller I used a condom.

56:43 Adam Banana peel.

56:43 Caller And it was spermicidal, like it was a Trojan latex. So I mean it was reliable and that kind of thing.

56:50 Drew Didn't break?

56:51 Caller No, I'm not sure because I never asked him and I never really checked.

56:57 Drew I would think he would have been freaking out if it had broken.

57:00 Caller OK, I'm really, really scared because I mean like it's my first time and that kind of thing. I don't know. Are there any signs that could happen like if I am pregnant or not?

57:08 Drew No.

57:09 Caller No.

57:09 Adam Well, how long ago was this?

57:12 Caller It was Saturday night.

57:13 Caller No, all right.

57:14 Drew No.

57:14 Adam How long is it taking to have a kid? Like three weeks?

57:16 Caller A month?

57:17 Caller Something like that.

57:18 Caller Hmm.

57:19 Adam Yeah. Nothing you can do now. Well, is it morning?

57:22 Caller No.

57:22 Drew You can think morning. I feel like it's 72 hours.

57:25 Caller OK.

57:26 Drew But Sunday, Monday, where are we? Monday?

57:28 Caller Yeah.

57:29 Drew It could be tomorrow, I suppose. But I don't think it's necessary to use the condom. We presume it didn't fall off inside you.

57:34 Caller It didn't.

57:35 Drew It would be time to start seeing the doctor, though, to get proper contraception and get your regular pelvic exams.

57:40 Caller Yeah. I had a question about too. Do I have to tell my parents if I want to get the pill or?

57:45 Drew Nope.

57:45 Caller Do I have to get a Planned Parenthood?

57:46 Drew You can do whatever you want. You have a right to confidential health care.

57:50 Caller Okay.

57:51 Drew You just tell the doctor you don't want anybody hearing about what you're talking about. You have a right to that. It's illegal for them to talk about it to anybody.

57:56 Caller Okay. How much is the pill usually for a set or whatever? I'm financially insecure. I just kind of wanted to know.

58:05 Drew I would think about $20 a month, something like that.

58:07 Adam $20, $30. And then they shift it around. Sometimes they lower it. Sometimes your insurance kicks in.

58:13 Drew Why?

58:13 Adam You have money?

58:14 Caller Yeah.

58:15 Adam Why? What are you doing?

58:17 Caller Huh?

58:17 Adam What do you got money at 16 for?

58:19 Caller Just because I live in a nice area and my parents send me to a prestigious high school. And it's just like if I had to talk to my mom about something like that, I could probably just ask her, you know, and I work at Starbucks.

58:34 Adam Oh, really?

58:35 Caller Yeah. So I have, I have money.

58:36 Adam You get tips and stuff?

58:38 Caller Of course.

58:39 Adam All right.

58:40 Caller Yeah.

58:40 Adam All right, baby.

58:41 Drew Good times. Get your health care going. Take care of yourself.

58:44 Caller Okay.

58:44 Drew Thank you.

58:45 Adam All right. All right. See? Let me tell you, Annie, we don't have to worry about. She's all right. She's fine. She's all right. She's worried about getting pregnant after having a condom.

58:57 Caller She works over at Starbucks.

58:59 Adam Yeah, it's good times. That's fine. I don't like when kids have money. I always hated that. I never had a goddamn penny when I was a kid. Never. Never. Never. It was a weird feeling. I got used to it, but it's like going out to eat and always begging my buddies for bites of their burger and all that kind of stuff. And I hated that.

59:19 Caller God.

59:20 Adam Never had that. John? Yes? Drew, did you have a job when you were growing up?

59:25 Drew Yeah.

59:26 Adam You did? Yeah. Where did you work?

59:27 Drew I swept streets when I was 13. I was a security guard when I was a doorman somewhere. Really? I was a lifeguard.

59:33 Adam Did you get tips as a doorman?

59:34 Drew Yeah.

59:35 Good times.

59:36 Adam John?

59:37 Caller Yes?

59:38 Adam You're 19. What's up?

59:40 Caller About two years ago, I got drunk with a bunch of my friends. And I was too drunk to go home. So I spent the night at this guy's house. I just met that night.

59:51 Adam Yeah.

59:52 Caller And I later on found out that he had molested me.

59:59 Drew How did you find that out? How did you find out?

1:00:02 Caller Just he mentioned it to one of my friends.

1:00:04 Drew No. Please.

1:00:05 Adam He found this graduation ring up his ass. He mentioned it to one of your friends?

1:00:11 Caller Yeah.

1:00:12 Drew How did it come up?

1:00:14 Caller I don't know. He just brought it up to me and then, like, last year...

1:00:19 Drew No, wait a minute. No, no, no. You're not getting away from this. Who was the friend that he told it to?

1:00:24 Caller The friend that took me over to that friend's house to go drinking.

1:00:29 Drew And how did this come up as a topic of conversation? What exactly did he say that he did?

1:00:36 Caller I think my friend knew about it and then he was just, like, casually asking, well, what have you done lately? I didn't bother to ask.

1:00:47 Adam Your friend knew about it?

1:00:49 Caller Yeah.

1:00:50 Adam How did your friend know about it?

1:00:52 Caller Because he asked the guy. Because I kind of mentioned the possibility that something like that happened.

1:00:59 Drew Why did you think something had happened?

1:01:01 Caller Because I thought I was, like, delusional or something because that was the first time I went drinking, so I was, like...

1:01:08 Drew What made you think something had happened?

1:01:11 Caller Because I remember waking up and just panicked, and he was doing it to me and then I...

1:01:20 Drew What was he doing?

1:01:22 Caller He was just, like, doing a blowjob on that, and I just freaked me out, and...

1:01:28 Drew And so you mentioned that to a friend, your friend brought it back to this guy. Yeah.

1:01:31 Adam Alright, so now what?

1:01:34 Caller And just a year ago, I found out from that same friend that he went to jail for that, and then just recently with my fiance, I've just been really sexually just shut down, just not wanting it at all, and she's just like, what's wrong?

1:01:51 Adam Well, wait a minute. Now, first off, what's up with your friend who brings you by Joe the Milester's place, who gets you loaded and drops you off there? What kind of jackass is this?

1:02:02 Caller Well, I'm no longer friends with him anymore.

1:02:04 Adam Well, that's good. That's good. Alright, this is a one-time deal when you were loaded as hell, right? Yeah.

1:02:12 Drew Why are you engaged at 19?

1:02:15 Caller I don't know. It just happened.

1:02:18 Adam How old is she?

1:02:19 Caller She's 19 also.

1:02:21 Drew Are you doing any other drugs now?

1:02:23 Caller Alcohol?

1:02:24 Caller No.

1:02:24 Drew Nothing?

1:02:25 Caller No.

1:02:26 Adam No. You got loaded and that was the first time you got loaded. You got out of your mind and this guy took advantage of you. By the way, him blowing you, to me, ain't taking advantage. I mean, I know he's a victim.

1:02:41 Drew With small station light or something?

1:02:43 Adam Well, he's definitely a victim, but listen, if someone wants to give me a BJ while I'm passed out drunk, I have more power to them. Yeah, they may find extra 20 in their wallet when they leave that day. I mean, talk about low self-esteem. I'm going to wait till this guy passes out and I'm going to give him a BJ. What the hell is in it for you? You know what I'm saying?

1:03:06 Caller You're going to rape, rape.

1:03:08 Adam Get something for yourself. What the hell happened? A guy passed out. I sucked him off and then I went to bed. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. I can see we really enjoy that. All the perks of blowing a guy while he's drunk. I got to, you know, nuts probably smell like a pier. It's sweating all night. So I've got a pee pee hanging out of him. That's nice. But also the other thing too, fellas, is how you get the erection and go with it. It always worries me a little bit. I don't think he's John's gay, but how are you so loaded in your penis response? You know, and then you don't know where you are.

1:03:51 Caller You're 19, though.

1:03:52 Adam All right. Here's the deal. Get some counseling if this is driving you nuts.

1:03:56 Drew It could be incorporated into a dream.

1:03:58 Adam Okay. Don't get married yet.

1:03:59 Drew No.

1:04:00 Adam You're 19. You got issues. Don't get married. Stay engaged. Nice long engagement.

1:04:06 Drew Ten years.

1:04:06 Adam Talk to a therapist if you want because of this. But don't make it rule your life. You got loaded, something happened, move on. This guy's a criminal. I'm glad he's in jail. I'm sorry it happened.

1:04:19 Caller You can move on.

1:04:21 Adam Okay. Let's move on. Juliette?

1:04:24 Caller Hi.

1:04:25 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:04:26 Caller Okay. My problem is I'm very self-conscious. A lot of my friends say I'm pretty and all, but I feel like having uneven boobs is like a huge secret.

1:04:36 Adam Uneven?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah. Like a C cup and a B cup.

1:04:39 Drew Well, you're 16. They may come out. They may equalize.

1:04:42 Caller Yeah. I'm almost 17 in like a month.

1:04:45 Drew You got a couple more years to go. Relax. Relax. It's very common.

1:04:50 Caller Really? Have you heard of Blufant?

1:04:53 Those pills that you take?

1:04:55 Drew No, please. Juliette, don't. It's nothing. It's nothing.

1:04:58 Adam Blufant?

1:05:00 Drew Oh, please.

1:05:01 Adam What are these pills called?

1:05:03 Caller Blufant.

1:05:04 Drew I heard there's now an infomercial about stuff you can rub on your breast and it can enlarge them. I was talking to a woman over at Sony tonight who said her girlfriend is the one that the model in the that shows the development. She had implants.

1:05:16 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:05:16 Drew She did? Yeah.

1:05:17 Adam I tried rubbing some of that on my dork. It didn't work. It didn't work for a few minutes.

1:05:21 Drew Exactly what the guy said as well. If those actually worked, the guy would be putting them on their penis.

1:05:25 Adam Yeah. Being able to put some on my bicep and the rest of my dork.

1:05:28 Drew Yeah.

1:05:29 Caller No, I just think that I'm just such a turn-off, like.

1:05:32 Adam No, no.

1:05:32 Drew Why don't we explore more why you have such low self-esteem?

1:05:35 Caller I've got very low self-esteem.

1:05:36 Drew No kidding. What's the bigger, what's that all about?

1:05:40 Adam I'm going to venture a guess.

1:05:41 Drew Ballet.

1:05:42 Adam Ice skating. No, no.

1:05:44 Drew Eating disorder.

1:05:45 Adam No, could be. Professional dad, maybe attorney, maybe doctor, tied up in his work, gone.

1:05:52 Caller What if I get older? Do I have to get an implant?

1:05:55 Drew If you need to, you can always do that. No problem.

1:05:57 Adam What's your dad do for a living?

1:05:59 Caller My dad?

1:06:00 Caller I'm not sure. I don't talk to my dad.

1:06:02 Adam When did he skate out?

1:06:05 Caller I haven't talked to him in years.

1:06:08 Adam You don't know where he is?

1:06:09 Caller No.

1:06:10 Drew Why?

1:06:11 Caller Well, I do know where he is. My little brother has contact with him, but I just did not talk to my dad.

1:06:16 Adam What does he do?

1:06:18 Caller I think he's a truck driver, I think, but I think he switched to something.

1:06:24 Drew Like what?

1:06:25 Caller He like drove around the country kind of thing.

1:06:28 Adam He does surgery now?

1:06:29 Drew Yeah, neurosurgery.

1:06:29 Adam All right. Your dad screwed you up by leaving you alone.

1:06:33 Caller Really?

1:06:34 Adam Now your self-esteem is bad.

1:06:35 Caller Really? He bought me a horse.

1:06:37 Adam Really?

1:06:38 Caller Yeah, he did.

1:06:39 Drew Interesting to try to regain something there.

1:06:43 Adam Hey, I wish my parents would have attempted to buy me off. That would have been nice.

1:06:46 Caller Yeah, but then I moved back to my mom and he dumped it on me. Now I have to work for her.

1:06:50 Adam Okay, but listen, your dad abandoned you. He took off. I mean, when's the last time you saw the guy?

1:06:57 Caller Well, I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times.

1:07:00 Adam We're okay now. Okay, okay. Hey, Brainiac, when's the last time you saw the guy?

1:07:06 Caller Um, a couple of years ago, I've just started talking to him on the phone.

1:07:10 Caller I kind of...

1:07:10 Drew You gotta forget about it. We don't care about the phone.

1:07:12 Caller Yeah.

1:07:13 Adam The guy abandoned you.

1:07:14 Caller Yeah.

1:07:14 Adam Alright, so you don't feel like good about yourself.

1:07:17 Caller No.

1:07:17 Adam And now you're focusing on stuff that doesn't really matter.

1:07:20 Caller Yeah.

1:07:21 Drew How are your friendships?

1:07:22 Caller Um, well, I have lots of friends, but they come and go.

1:07:26 Drew Well, keep some steady friends around.

1:07:29 Adam Yeah.

1:07:29 Caller I'll try.

1:07:30 Adam Focus on your friends and don't worry about...

1:07:33 Caller Yeah, I've gotten trouble with drugs and stuff, too.

1:07:35 Adam Alright. Don't worry about pleasing men. Okay? I'm the only man you should have to please. Do you hear me? All of you.

1:07:43 Drew All women.

1:07:44 Adam That's right.

1:07:45 Drew That's a nice focus. There should be the Zen of Corolla.

1:07:48 Adam Let's focus on one man to please. Can we do that?

1:07:52 Drew I can see the Cosmos now.

1:07:54 Adam Yeah.

1:07:55 Drew Here's how to please the Corolla.

1:07:58 Adam Well, let's make it easy. You guys are chasing after these screwball, alcoholic, abusive, abusive guys. I just sit at my house, unplug my phone, and watch TV. I don't abuse anybody. That burns too many calories. Sure, I'd like to abuse, but I don't like to get up, so I'm torn. You know what I mean? It's like abuse or get off the sofa. I'll sit on the sofa and think about it a little longer, and then I eventually fall asleep. But let's all focus on me. That's a very good point, Drew. I'm glad you brought that up. Have me be the universal father figure for all you lambs that have strayed from the herd. We will take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Colleen. She wants to talk about that horrible shooting today that took place in a San Diego school. I guess it was a high school, right, Drew? Yeah. All right, after this.

1:08:48 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, back in a minute.

1:09:20 Adam Well, you'll be glad to know Drew's farted up the studio. What about the Hippocratic Oath, Drew? Doesn't that prevent doctors from farting?

1:09:29 Drew Not in self-defense.

1:09:32 Adam Couldn't you make some noise when you fart like I do so I know?

1:09:35 Drew Just to give some novelty enjoyment.

1:09:37 Adam When I fart, my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. But not you. You're like a green beret. You come in under the cover of night, slide in and then kill your victims with piano wire. You understand? Or as my guess, it's more like a British soldier, like a red coat just marching straight at the enemy. Trumpets blaring, flags waving. That's you. You slide in. You're like an assassin. And an ass in. Colleen?

1:10:12 Hello.

1:10:13 Adam Hey, you're 23. What's up?

1:10:14 Caller I am. I have a couple of quick comments. First of all, I just want to say I'm in complete agreement with you, and when I run for office, I'm all for sterilization.

1:10:23 Adam Ah, thank you.

1:10:24 Caller For the dramatic. And also, you know, the issue in Southern California today was two deaths and 13 other people by a 14-year-old in the school. And it's astonishing to me. I just heard on the news President Bush made a comment that we need to teach our children right and wrong and some moral values and that will fix the world. And I just, you know, have a comment for everyone out there that this is who our president is right now and he thinks that teaching children right and wrong, that they didn't know this prior. You know, I would really love a study on Columbine and all these other incidents with these children, how their family life was, because I will guarantee you that there is something matter that these kids are crying out.

1:11:11 Drew Oh yeah, we have no doubt that there's something going on in their homes. However, there is an interesting point though, that it turns out that emotional, cognitive and moral development do tend to run parallel courses. So to me, when I hear people call for moral development, I agree with them, but it ain't going to happen without the emotional development and the intellectual and cognitive development.

1:11:33 Adam Well, and it's like just say no to the junkie or addict, you know. It's like, okay, that's nice, but what does it mean? It doesn't get anything done. Just say no, come on, let's all be good people. No, we got to get in and dig at these problems, you know. It's like be a dentist, you know, telling you to just fix your own cavities through good positive thought. We got to get in and do some drilling. There's work to be done.

1:12:00 Caller Another comment, also there was an adult neighbor, I think it was, and because, you know, as in Columbine, there was threats made a couple days previous. And so the adult neighbor, he was just distraught, saying, you know, I wish I had listened and just trying to tell everyone out there, you know, take this seriously no matter what.

1:12:19 Adam Now, let me, what happened to the kid? Did he kill himself?

1:12:23 Caller No, he's 14.

1:12:24 Drew But it's interesting, the raid, these kids are-

1:12:26 Caller I'm in Juvenile Hall right now. He's being charged under Prop 21 as an adult, 14 year old.

1:12:32 Adam I see, and what do you have on him as far as weaponry?

1:12:34 Caller Yeah, 22 caliber, I think, and they're also, they found, they searched the house, he lived with his father, searched the house, found seven other guns.

1:12:44 Drew Yeah. Well, that's the, here is the issue, these kids are very disturbed. They're often suicidal themselves, and rather than turn that raid on themselves, they first turn it outward on other people. And it's the excess ability of guns. That's the final sort of strong.

1:12:58 Caller I love how Bush couldn't comment on gun control at all.

1:13:00 Caller Well, yeah.

1:13:02 Drew We, we, we, I don't even know where to start with people.

1:13:07 Caller He's an idiot.

1:13:07 Adam Well, yeah, he may be an idiot, but listen, those of you-

1:13:11 Caller Half the American people are idiots for voting for us.

1:13:14 Drew Well, Clinton was the same kind of idiot. We had the same problem when we were doing the deal with these issues when he was in office.

1:13:19 Adam Yes, we had count, how am I? Well, Clinton was in office. I mean, you know, to me- All right, hold on a second. To me, when you focus on the president and the problems of this, the ill of society, it's, it's, it's, it's really, you're being way too simplistic about the problems of society. These problems were here before Bush got here. The problems will be here after Bush gets here. Those of you who like to think that if, if we had a Republican or a Democrat in there or whatever, whoever side you happen to fall in, it'd be a utopia, please, please close your eyes. You won't know the difference. You don't know the difference.

1:13:59 Drew Well, I told you, Clinton, I predicted many of his behaviors when he, he scared the hell out of me, because I could see, you know, all of his pathology. It was obvious to me, and he did not disappoint. But he ran a great administration. So this is the thing, these guys can run good administrations and still be-

1:14:14 Adam Listen, it just doesn't, it doesn't, I know you're American citizen, but everyone, it doesn't affect you that much. Take care of your kids. Here's who, all you need to worry about, your boss. Not Bush. Your boss at work. Make him happy. Your life will be good. Thank you. Scott?

1:14:32 Caller Hey.

1:14:33 Adam You're 14, what's up?

1:14:35 Caller I was, I was actually at Santana this morning.

1:14:38 Adam At the Santana community.

1:14:40 Caller Um, at the school where the shooting happened.

1:14:43 Adam I see.

1:14:43 Caller And, um, I was actually about 20 feet away.

1:14:46 Drew Oh my god.

1:14:47 Caller Yeah, it scared the hell out of me. I don't know, I just called in to say, like, most people, they always say, you know, gun control, gun control, but I really think they should isolate the people and try to get, you know, help for them instead of the guns.

1:15:00 Drew What was this kid like? Did you know him at all?

1:15:02 Caller Um, I hung out with him, like, once or twice.

1:15:05 Drew Yeah.

1:15:05 Caller And he seemed completely normal, you know?

1:15:08 Adam Yeah. Yeah, well, here's my feeling with gun control is, yeah, I'd like to take care of the people myself, but just in case they snap, let's not make it easy for them.

1:15:17 Caller Yeah.

1:15:18 Adam Uh, I mean, I mean, the NRAs, I mean, they're really idiots. They really are. They fight tooth and nail against, you know, automatic weapons and banana, you know, 50 round banana clips. Oh, you in trouble there, Scott?

1:15:31 Caller I don't know. Hold on.

1:15:32 Drew What's that?

1:15:33 Adam Yeah, check.

1:15:33 Caller Shhh.

1:15:34 Adam Mom came in?

1:15:35 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah.

1:15:38 Caller Hold on. My sister is bothering me about a CD. I'll be right back.

1:15:41 Caller All right.

1:15:43 Adam We'll talk amongst ourselves.

1:15:44 Drew We'll just wait for you.

1:15:45 Adam All right. Speaking of San Diego, we're going to be out there tomorrow night. I don't know what kind of shape the community is going to be in. Yes. You're 16?

1:15:58 Caller Yes. Hi. I was sexually abused by my uncle.

1:16:03 Drew When you were about two?

1:16:04 Caller No. I was in the fourth grade. I tried to tell my mom, but my mom was like she doesn't believe me and everything. So it's like, I don't know. It's like no matter how hard I try to tell her, she doesn't believe me.

1:16:20 Drew Well, why don't you tell somebody at school?

1:16:22 Adam That's your mom's.

1:16:23 Caller I have. I told people at school and they told my mom to come in and she did. And they taught her and she still doesn't believe me.

1:16:32 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. Is your uncle your mom's brother?

1:16:38 Caller He's like a step uncle because he's a friend of my mom. But they're so close.

1:16:47 Adam He's not your uncle.

1:16:48 Caller Yeah.

1:16:49 Adam I see. Usually they make them your uncle so they won't molest you. I think that's what the carrot they dangle in front of the breast.

1:16:57 Drew In this show it seems to be some sort of anointing process where they actually become the molester.

1:17:02 Adam Right.

1:17:02 Drew You should avoid the term uncle.

1:17:03 Adam As soon as you label. Does your mom still hang out with the guy?

1:17:10 Caller No, he's dead.

1:17:11 Adam Oh, he's dead?

1:17:12 Caller Yeah.

1:17:13 Adam Oh, good.

1:17:14 Caller His brother came in the picture. So it's like.

1:17:18 Adam Wait a minute. Where's your dad?

1:17:20 Caller My father. My parents are the fourth. And I have no communication whatsoever with my father.

1:17:28 Adam Okay. And how long did this guy molest you?

1:17:32 Caller When I was in fourth grade until last year.

1:17:35 Adam Until last year?

1:17:36 Caller Yeah.

1:17:37 Adam So he got like five, six years going on in there.

1:17:41 Caller Yeah.

1:17:42 Caller Oh, baby.

1:17:44 Adam That's quite some time. And this went on. I mean, did you have sex with him?

1:17:50 Caller Yeah.

1:17:51 Adam Where would you do this?

1:17:52 Caller In my room.

1:17:54 Adam And where was your mom?

1:17:55 Caller My mom was sleeping. And it's like weird because I think she like knows that he was in my bed at like wall times. But I don't like, I don't know. It's like I think she knows, but she just doesn't want to admit it.

1:18:08 Adam And how old was he?

1:18:10 Caller He was 60.

1:18:13 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, good. I'm glad he's dead. How did he die? I hope he was attacked by ants. I really do. You know, my hope is for this guy, that he was attacked out on the Serengeti by hyenas. A pack of hyenas just took him down like eight hyenas, just tore him apart. Yeah. And that he lived as long as possible.

1:18:37 Caller Yeah.

1:18:38 Adam Now listen, here's the good news. Your mom was molested, I'm sure.

1:18:42 Drew That's why she can't get at that material. She can't acknowledge that in you.

1:18:46 Caller She said she was raped, but she never like brought up like the molest.

1:18:50 Drew Yeah.

1:18:51 Adam Where's her dad?

1:18:52 Caller Like her, like my grandparents are like dead, all of them.

1:18:56 Adam Yeah. Did you ever know them?

1:18:57 Caller No. They all died before I was born.

1:19:00 Adam Okay. Listen, Flo?

1:19:01 Caller Yeah?

1:19:02 Adam Here's part of the program. Here's why I'm here, beside the paycheck. It's to stop girls like you from giving birth to somebody who's going to be victimized. There's two things we need you to do in your life. We need you to not be victimized anymore, and we need you not to bring on to this planet another victim. So, you got to worry about the guys you're with.

1:19:28 Caller Yeah.

1:19:28 Adam Because you're going to fall prey to a lot of bad guys out there.

1:19:31 Drew You're going to be attracted to them. Not fall prey. You're going to seek them out.

1:19:35 Caller Because I have my uncle's neighbor, I brought my mom's friend's neighbor. She had a daughter, Walsum, and I think she was sexually abused. But we've never really discussed that, and I don't want to bring it up because I'm afraid she'll find out.

1:19:51 Drew Listen, you need to tell as many people as possible, though. Your mom is a ridiculous pain in the neck. She's in denial.

1:19:57 Caller She's an alcoholic.

1:19:58 Adam Yeah. Listen, I hate to have to break this news to you, but I'm sure you already know, your mom's a mess and a write-off. You got your whole life to hate her. Right now, you got to take care of yourself. All right. You need to talk to a counselor at school. You need to rely on your friends. You need to be very careful about the guys you associate with.

1:20:18 Caller Yeah, because like all of them, like I'm afraid to talk to like a lot of them.

1:20:22 Adam Listen, talk to a counselor at school and throw yourself on the mercy of that counselor and stop trying to... You're beating a dead horse with your mom. I mean, literally, your mom got molested, raped or whatever million years ago. She's knee deep in her alcohol and she's gone.

1:20:39 Drew She can't. She's not available for you.

1:20:40 Adam Yeah. She's a wonderful individual. And I'm sorry that I hate Flow's mom for what she's done to Flow because I know she's just a nut. She's just Flow 20 years from now.

1:20:52 Drew That's right. Paul?

1:20:54 Caller Yes, I have a question for Dr. Drew.

1:20:56 Caller Yeah. You're 28.

1:20:57 Adam Yes.

1:20:58 Caller Yeah. Dr. Drew, sometimes when I urinate, it seems like some white type of fluid comes out. It looks like kind of urinate mixed with sperm. Is that possible?

1:21:10 Drew It's possible. You want a medication?

1:21:11 Caller No.

1:21:13 Adam Where are you calling from? The hydroelectric plant?

1:21:16 Caller No, from my cell phone. I'm sorry.

1:21:18 Adam I see. It really sounds like there's a lot going on back there.

1:21:21 Drew Cell phone in the subway station.

1:21:23 Adam No, freeway.

1:21:25 Drew Window open.

1:21:25 Adam Okay. What could this be, Drew?

1:21:28 Drew It could be sperm. It could be pus. It could be just mucus. It's something that needs to be evaluated, Paul.

1:21:32 Caller Well, it doesn't hurt at all, though.

1:21:34 Drew Paul?

1:21:35 Adam Paul?

1:21:36 Caller Yes?

1:21:37 Drew I can't magically know what it is.

1:21:41 Caller It doesn't help at all.

1:21:42 Drew It needs to be evaluated. It could be pus. It could be sperm. It could be mucus. Whatever it is, it needs a diagnosis right now.

1:21:50 Adam How do you do that?

1:21:51 Drew It's a urologist.

1:21:52 Adam All right. I put him on hold because his line was banded and I didn't feel like arguing with him more about why he didn't need his penis looked at, even though he called the show and said he was peeing pus. Scott?

1:22:03 Drew Scott, are you still there?

1:22:05 Adam I'm here. All right. So Scott was 14. He called a few moments ago. He was at the shooting that took place in San Diego. It was a high school, right?

1:22:14 Caller High school, yeah.

1:22:15 Drew Are you okay now?

1:22:16 Caller Yeah.

1:22:16 Caller I'm fine, you know.

1:22:18 Caller Still a little scary though.

1:22:19 Drew Yeah.

1:22:20 Adam And really, were you really standing by watching this unfold?

1:22:24 Caller Yeah, pretty much the guy who was in a bathroom and started shooting out from the bathroom. And I was about 20 to 30 feet. And at first I thought it was like a prank.

1:22:35 Caller There was a lot of morons, you know?

1:22:37 Adam Right.

1:22:38 Caller And I saw some guy on the ground. And I didn't see any blood, so I still thought it was fake. But all these people just started running by and stuff. So we got kind of scared, me and my friend, and we ran. And pretty soon we were just heard into this classroom, you know, and we had to sit there for 40 minutes until some like SWAT guy came in and told us to file out single file with our hands on our heads. We had to go out parking lot across the street, and then they called our parents or whatever, and then they had to find us.

1:23:07 Adam And are you doing all right now?

1:23:09 Caller I'm kind of sad because one of my friends had died.

1:23:12 Drew Oh my God.

1:23:13 Caller Yeah.

1:23:14 Adam Was this a close friend of yours?

1:23:16 Caller Well, not really close, you know, but we hung out. I used to be on the same pole vaulting team as him.

1:23:23 Adam How old were the kids that died?

1:23:26 Caller 17 and 14. Although sometimes it is...

1:23:29 Adam I don't know what kind of answer we...

1:23:30 Caller What kind of answer would be okay?

1:23:33 Adam One guy was in his late 60s, the other, I think, was 74. A couple of high school kids died. I mean, I would assume average age 50 and 60, right? But you got to hear it again and then you got to go... I still, even as I was running, no matter how hard... I still, I'll tell you, there'd be a little small part of my brain going, we're out of school. Christ, we don't go back to that. I just want you to... I'm giving you some insight to my mind.

1:24:04 Drew I'm getting it.

1:24:05 Adam There would be, I guarantee you, no matter, even if 10 of my friends died, even the biggest tragedy, there would be a small part of my brain thinking, we ain't going back. We ain't going to third period. We're out of the deck.

1:24:17 Drew You'd be appreciative for your friend's sacrifice.

1:24:19 Adam There'd be a very small piece of my mind saying that, or medium size. Alright, Scott. Listen, I'm sorry this happened to you. Have you talked to any counselors or anything?

1:24:30 Caller No, I haven't yet.

1:24:32 Drew Do you have any insight in all this? What led to it?

1:24:36 Caller I don't know. The kid just seemed so regular and everything.

1:24:39 Caller He wasn't really picked on.

1:24:41 Drew He wasn't?

1:24:42 Caller What?

1:24:43 Drew He wasn't picked on.

1:24:44 Caller He wasn't. I mean, just like by his friends, like teasingly and stuff.

1:24:49 Caller I've even hung out with him a couple of times and he just seemed so normal.

1:24:51 Drew What were they teasing him for?

1:24:53 Caller Just being like kind of skinny and little.

1:24:56 Caller Alright.

1:24:56 Caller It wasn't, you know, like really harsh stuff. It was just like his friends teasing him and stuff.

1:25:00 Adam What got him to stop? Did they know? Did he just run out of ammunition? How did he surrender?

1:25:06 Caller I hear he had extra ammo, but the people just told him to drop the weapons, you know, the police and he did.

1:25:13 Drew And after that, How did the police get there so fast? How did the police get there so fast?

1:25:17 Caller I don't know, but it was really great. There was in like five minutes.

1:25:20 Caller We have like a substation right.

1:25:23 Caller Oh, I see.

1:25:24 Caller Yeah.

1:25:25 Adam I'll tell you, if I was a dad, I'd be thinking, you are so grounded.

1:25:30 Caller Oh, man.

1:25:31 Caller Wait till I get hold of you.

1:25:34 Drew You know what that dad is all about, though. It's like the dad in, what was the movie?

1:25:39 Adam The Great Santini.

1:25:40 Caller No, no.

1:25:40 Adam Thank God he had a lot of them.

1:25:41 Drew Rodney Dangerfield played Woody Harrelson's dad.

1:25:45 Caller Yeah.

1:25:46 Drew National Born Killers.

1:25:47 Adam Yeah. But let me float this one to you, Drew. I know your theory is there must be a rhyme and a reason, A and B equals C.

1:25:59 Drew My theory, you just had a diatribe about that about an hour ago.

1:26:03 Adam All right. Shut up for a second, would you? A and B equals C. Right. But we all know from doing this show that there's a lot of A and B that doesn't always equal C. I mean, there's a lot of physical abuse, a lot of emotional abuse, and a very small amount of guys snapping a twig and going on shooting sprees. For a guy to really go on a shooting spree like this, my theory is, yes, the home life can't be the greatest, but on another thing, these guys are almost genetically predetermined to spaz at some point in life. I mean, there's a certain amount of the population. Thank God it's a very small amount of the population, but almost a certain amount who are going to be serial killers, who are going to do these kind of things at school, that there's almost no looking out for it. There's almost no preventing it in a way. Let's not have guns everywhere. Let's not give these guys the tools. There's a certain amount of these guys that are on the planet, and I think they're always going to be here. They're white males, and it seems to work that way. And sometimes there wasn't abuse in the family. Well, we can look, and we'll be back.

1:27:24 Hello, this is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:27:56 Caller Yeah. Drew let another fart go in here. Very gamey.

1:28:02 Adam I guess turnabouts fair play, as they say. Now I heard that one Drew, so emotionally it's happened with me. I can't tell if I'm getting something or not.

1:28:15 Drew You should be able to tell.

1:28:17 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.

1:28:18 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:28:19 Adam Let's Cisco in here, everybody, on Wednesday night. We're in San Diego tomorrow night.

1:28:25 Drew Seven o'clock.

1:28:26 Adam That's right.

1:28:27 Drew You see San Diego.

1:28:29 Adam Yeah. Joan?

1:28:31 Caller Yeah.

1:28:32 Adam You're 16. What's up, Toots?

1:28:34 Caller Okay. I don't know if this is normal or not, but it's kind of irregular. I don't know. But the inner flaps of my vagina, they hang out an extra inch, and there's a clumpage at the bottom.

1:28:46 Drew Clumpage?

1:28:47 Yeah. It's like purple.

1:28:49 Adam Nice.

1:28:49 Drew Where's the bottom?

1:28:51 Adam Hold on, Drew. I think a fart's floating over this way now.

1:28:55 Caller Wow. Yeah.

1:28:57 Adam That's bad times. Very bad times in here, Joe.

1:29:01 Drew Yeah. What's the bottom mean?

1:29:04 Caller Like underneath, like right where my vagina is.

1:29:06 Adam Okay. Yeah. So you got one of those things gone.

1:29:11 Drew That's a common thing.

1:29:13 Adam Yeah. There's a certain percentage of women that have that.

1:29:15 Caller Okay.

1:29:16 Drew Guys don't care.

1:29:18 Caller Not really.

1:29:19 Adam Now, wait a minute. You got the outer lips and the inner lips?

1:29:21 Caller Yeah.

1:29:23 Adam The inner lips hang out lower than the outer lips, right?

1:29:26 Caller Yeah.

1:29:26 Adam That gives that kind of tulip effect. I mean, well, I mean, tulips.

1:29:32 Caller Yeah.

1:29:33 Adam I don't mean tulip, but like trumpets. They call it, what is that flower that does that? I don't know. All right.

1:29:42 Drew Not a tulip?

1:29:44 Adam Maybe it is a tulip. Yeah.

1:29:45 Drew Rotodendron?

1:29:46 Adam No, it is a tulip, right? It has like a funnel shape.

1:29:49 Drew Yeah.

1:29:49 Adam Yeah. And then there's a little, now what's the clump?

1:29:52 Caller The clump?

1:29:53 Adam You said there's a little clump at the bottom.

1:29:55 Caller Where like the lips like fall out, it like just like plumps up.

1:30:00 Adam Yeah. There's certain, I don't know, what percentage of women have this? Five percent?

1:30:06 Drew Probably at least.

1:30:07 Adam You ever seen this in a girl, Drew?

1:30:09 Drew Yeah.

1:30:09 Adam Yeah, Drew's been around. Hey, Joan?

1:30:12 Drew Yeah.

1:30:12 Adam Here's the thing though. All you got to do is, you know, don't shave the hair down there. You can kind of hide things. I mean, if you don't like the way it looks.

1:30:20 Drew And there are procedures, believe it or not, that can repair that.

1:30:23 Adam Yeah, but it's all cosmetic, right?

1:30:25 Drew Yeah.

1:30:25 Adam I mean, listen, I really, I thought about this. I was looking at a Playboy.

1:30:29 Drew Yes.

1:30:30 Adam Or I don't know what it was. Big brown jugs or something. And I realize that look isn't a real attractive look. Most guys don't enjoy that too much. You know, it's a little, it looks a little.

1:30:42 Drew Not for pictures.

1:30:42 Adam A little disheveled down there, a little scattered. Looks like it needs to be organized. Right. Vagina is a mess. And, all right, don't shave the hair. You grow that little beard, you don't know. That hangs down. You know what I mean?

1:30:57 Drew Good times.

1:30:58 Adam Good times.

1:30:58 Caller Yeah.

1:30:59 Adam It's like, hey, if you got a scar on your chin, you grow a goatee, right? You're farting again over there, Drew? You look like you're working. Mark?

1:31:08 Caller Yeah.

1:31:08 Adam You're 22.

1:31:09 Caller What's up?

1:31:11 Caller Yeah, I have a girlfriend that I've been with for about a year and a half.

1:31:15 Adam We have a baby.

1:31:16 Caller The baby's four months old. She's fine. My problem is, though, her whole pregnancy from day one and until now, I haven't been attracted to her. I cheat constantly. I masturbate at least three times a day. Whenever I have a chance, and I love this girl, and I just don't know what my problem is. I've had a drug problem since I was 14.

1:31:44 Drew This is all part of your addiction.

1:31:47 Caller I sniffed coke when I was 17 until present. I quit. I can't stand the drug anymore. The only thing that I do constantly now is I drink.

1:31:56 Drew On behalf of your wife and child, why don't you get into recovery?

1:32:00 Caller What's that?

1:32:03 Adam You know, recovery?

1:32:05 Drew The sexual compulsivity, the sexual addiction qualities that you're manifesting are part of your overall addictive disease. Unless you get that treated, the consequences are going to mount here and your marriage is in jeopardy. Unless you do something about this, it's going to get worse.

1:32:20 Caller I'm not married. She's my girlfriend.

1:32:22 Drew Your relationship is in jeopardy. Unless you do something about this, this is going to be a disaster.

1:32:29 Caller I have a total, I have this thrive towards any other woman but her.

1:32:33 Caller I don't understand it.

1:32:34 Adam Yeah. Hey Mark?

1:32:36 Drew Yeah.

1:32:37 Adam Listen to me. Do you listen to this show?

1:32:40 Caller All the time. It's the first time I've been able to get on for months.

1:32:44 Adam You have a little girl?

1:32:46 Caller Yes, four months.

1:32:47 Adam Okay. Do you hear about what goes on with these poor girls in their lives with their alcoholic dads that are cheating, that are screwing around? You get yourself some god damn help on behalf of this five week old or four month old little girl of yours so she doesn't call this god damn show 15 years from now complaining about having a three-way with a 65 year old guy and his alcoholic brother. Don't screw that girl up. You got to get your ass together you people. Do you hear me? Or don't be parents. One or the other. Don't want to get your ass together? Fine. Don't do it.

1:33:28 Drew Don't have kids.

1:33:29 Adam Have kids? Get your ass together. That's your choice. One or the other. It's not both. After this.

1:33:39 Love Lines with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:34:08 Adam Well, there you go. Another fabulous Loveline in the can. Cisco in here Wednesday night. We're going to be in San Diego, UC San Diego, 7 o'clock tomorrow night, and we'll be broadcasting from 91X, a faithful San Diego companion for many, many years. They're one of the first ones on board with this show.

1:34:28 Caller They're still with us, right?

1:34:30 I think so.

1:34:30 Adam Yeah. We'll be at 91X tomorrow night. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:34:38 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, March 5, 2001