Episode 1000754887093

1:12 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:19 I like that opening, huh?

1:20 Adam Yeah, very professional sounding. The show is going to be a letdown after that opening. I got news for everybody.

1:28 It's Loveline.

1:29 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Fact number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And what do you know? The Man Show is on right now in the fabulous Comedy Central.

1:47 Drew It's the first episode or second?

1:49 Adam How dare you? How dare you? This is the fourth episode.

1:53 Drew Oh my God. It's been that long. I'm sorry.

1:55 Adam Maybe the fifth. No, the fourth. Yeah.

1:57 Drew Is this the Rosie O'Donnell one? That's the one I want to see.

2:00 Adam I don't know if Rosie gets tramped in the well this episode. Yeah, I think she does. Oh, yes. Oh, listen. I actually I don't want to give it away because it's a hot breaking news story.

2:11 Drew It is a breaking news story.

2:12 Adam Yeah.

2:13 Drew Speaking of breaking news, I'm doing that Big Brother show starting on Thursday.

2:16 Adam Yeah. How's that go? What do you do?

2:20 You don't know?

2:21 Adam You still don't know? Why don't they tell you what you do?

2:24 Drew They told me. No, they told me.

2:26 Adam Oh, then they told you you can't talk about it?

2:28 Drew Kind of.

2:29 Adam Yeah. I always get really insulted when people tell me I can't talk about something.

2:33 Drew No, it's not that I can't talk about it.

2:34 Adam Oh, it's humiliating.

2:36 Yeah.

2:39 Adam You don't wish to talk about it.

2:40 Drew It's that I think it will take form with time.

2:43 Adam I see.

2:44 Drew You know what I'm saying?

2:45 Adam Well, see, here's the deal.

2:46 Drew You know Network TV, right? You remember your little thing with, what was his name from Three's Company?

2:51 Adam Yeah, John Ritter.

2:52 Drew Hey, stand up and say this.

2:53 Adam Say it. Yeah, I did this horrible, ordinary, extraordinary, it was called this very bad pilot from some guy's Alimano Productions, I think it was. It was some pilot they're trying to sell to CBS or something a couple of years ago.

3:09 Drew I just want to get out there and get my hands dirty, see what it feels like before I start commenting on what it is I'm doing or not doing.

3:15 Adam All right, but listen.

3:16 Drew I have grave concerns with people in the house and I feel a responsibility actually to go in and start to do something.

3:22 Adam Oh, shut up.

3:23 Drew No, I do.

3:24 Adam Well, why don't you head in to South Central and help some of those people? You're worried about a couple of actors cooped up in a Winnebago for a month?

3:31 Drew No, it's an interesting point, but it's something I'm...

3:34 Adam Better and interesting.

3:35 Drew No, no, it's something I'm responsible, sort of a part of, you know what I mean?

3:38 Yeah.

3:39 Adam Listen, you know this whole voyeuristic television thing?

3:43 Drew No.

3:44 Adam I got porn.

3:45 Drew I know.

3:45 Adam You know what I mean? I got the ultimate voyeuristic television.

3:49 Drew Takes a lot to get you off the couch.

3:51 Adam Yeah. I don't need to see people in the bathroom with a sort of a foggy shower curtain in a dim silhouette of a female form. I got chicks with eight guys on top of them. That's voyeurism.

4:08 Drew Yeah.

4:09 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

4:10 Drew Yeah.

4:11 Adam I don't need to see it. I don't need to see. You know this whole thing is like, people argue. It's like, we get to watch people have arguments. I get arguments all the time.

4:22 I don't like them that much.

4:23 Drew Now you're making a case against any kind of drama.

4:27 Adam Well, there's, I mean, Pepe On was a drama. Guy was trapped on Devil's Island.

4:32 So he had to get off.

4:33 Drew Like I said, it takes a lot to get you off the couch.

4:35 Adam That was fine.

4:35 Drew Right. It's not, you know.

4:37 Adam All right. Listen, I don't understand. Why are you doing this show? Because you said they're not paying you anything or not enough. And you're making an ass of yourself. So what's in it for you?

4:48 Drew I'm going to try to make it something worthwhile.

4:50 Okay.

4:52 Adam Now, what's the rules? How long are they in that house for?

4:54 Drew Three months.

4:55 Adam And they no newspapers?

4:57 Drew No, nothing.

4:59 Adam I bet. I bet the skipper comes up with a hairbrained scheme to get them out of the Winnebago. Oh, I mean the professor. Yeah.

5:09 Drew They have a clock made out of potatoes.

5:11 Adam Really?

5:12 Drew They used potatoes. Somehow they got polarity going in the potatoes to create a battery.

5:16 Adam Really?

5:17 Yeah.

5:18 Adam Oh, man. It's good to have that one German guy in there, Joe?

5:24 Drew He's the guy. He's the big brother.

5:27 Adam Joe, you're 17. What's up?

5:31 Caller Well, my girlfriend broke up with me because she said my penis was too small.

5:36 Adam All right.

5:38 Caller So, you know, what should I do to get back with her or back at her?

5:42 Drew I don't think you should do either. Nor should I think you should believe that that's in fact why she broke up. That's just something low down and dirty. She thought she could tell you to make you feel bad.

5:52 Adam Yeah, I don't even believe them.

5:53 Drew I don't either.

5:54 Adam Okay, Joe.

5:55 Drew Enjoy.

5:56 Caller Okay.

5:58 Adam I really don't. Listen, there's women who've yelled, your penis is small after they broke up with you and you threw something at them.

6:06 Caller Right.

6:07 Drew And your penis is small. You're just stating the fact.

6:11 Adam Oh, you're talking about me?

6:12 Drew Yeah, when they've done that to you.

6:15 Adam How dare you? How dare you? You like that when I gave a little breath at the big guy? Jack?

6:28 Best Of Adam?

6:29 Adam Yes.

6:29 Best Of What's up, man? How you guys doing?

6:31 Adam I'm doing well. Actually, I'm having another one of those, I took a nap and I can't wake up episodes.

6:37 Drew You're just back from Vegas.

6:38 Adam I'm back from...

6:39 Best Of Where did you stay?

6:39 Adam I got back from Vegas. I stayed at the Hilton.

6:41 Drew The International.

6:42 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Let me just... Let me bitch a little as long as a representative from our management is here. Hotels are very, very big in Vegas now. MGM.

6:56 Drew Massive.

6:56 Adam Hilton. Huge. I mean, I don't know, Hilton, 9,000 rooms or something. I was on the 23rd floor, room 135. I was the furthest and highest away from the central lobby elevator. I had a walk farther. You know what? When the Jews cross the desert, it took me 41 days. I mean, 41 years. How long the Jews cross it? 40 years. That's right. It took me a year longer to get from my goddamn room to the main elevator. And the thing is, it's not that big a deal normally. But if you have business in the hotel, if you're going back and forth from the venue and stuff like that, add 15 minutes to the commute. And like Jimmy, you know, the show started live at 5 in the afternoon. Jimmy walked in at about 4 minutes to 5 for a live show and we were first up. It took him a half hour to get, you know, you're on, he was on number 18 or whatever the hell it is. Anderson, I'll throw this mic through that window so help me Christ. Here's my point. If you're arranging something like this, don't put the talent as far as you can possibly put them from the venue. You know what I'm saying? Why? What is that? Is there a strategy or is there no strategy? I couldn't have been further away. I had to keep going back and forth and it was, I needed a pack mule and a Sherpa guide to get there. It was like a half hour each and every time. It was just the biggest pain in the ass ever. And I don't know what our management is doing about these kind of things, but we decided they were very inept, very inept. Ben Stein's driving around a free Cadillac.

8:42 Drew Was he there?

8:43 Adam I can't get a pair of Levi's.

8:44 Drew Was he there?

8:45 Adam No.

8:46 Drew I see, in real life.

8:47 Adam Yeah, in real life. This is real life. Yeah. Where's all the freebies? Where's all the, where's the sweets? Where's all the good stuff? All right. No sweet stuff. The furthest corner of the place.

9:00 Best Of All right.

9:01 Adam I'm done bitching. Jack?

9:03 Best Of Sorry, man. It's hard living the good life, all right?

9:05 Adam Oh, my God. Do you know how many cows? First off, I wear fine Italian loafers. Oh, my God. And they don't, it's hard to walk in them. They're very fashionable. They look great, but it's hard to walk in those fine Italian loafers I wear.

9:22 Drew And they don't wear evenly walking down those long halls.

9:24 Adam They don't wear evenly walking down those, and there's not much padding in that carpeting.

9:28 Best Of And now you got people ripping your stuff off.

9:30 Adam Oh.

9:31 Best Of The X show.

9:32 Adam Oh, oh, that show.

9:33 Best Of No talent whatsoever, Adam.

9:35 Drew Oh, they're starting to model themselves after you now?

9:37 Adam I have no idea.

9:39 Best Of I will heckle for you, man.

9:40 Drew All right, Jack, what's going on, pal?

9:42 Best Of All right, my real question was not about the heroin. It was two years ago, I dropped three tabs the only time I did it. And I heard it messes with your brain, right?

9:59 Adam You dropped three tabs of acid.

10:00 Drew All at once?

10:01 Best Of Yeah. Well, the first one, it didn't kick in, so I just took two more.

10:06 Drew Oh, boy.

10:08 Best Of All right. Well, I haven't done anything since.

10:10 Adam Yeah, you're fine.

10:11 Best Of What about the shrooms though?

10:12 Drew No, you could be fine. It doesn't have to cause any long-term consequences, just having had that experience. You OK, generally?

10:19 Best Of Yeah, I'm all right.

10:20 Drew All right.

10:20 Best Of Hey, Adam.

10:22 Adam Yeah, hold on. I'm making out what the dog's saying. What's that, boy? Tommy's trapped in the well?

10:27 Drew No, no. Kill your neighbor.

10:28 Adam Oh, kill your neighbor? Yeah. Son of Sam. Is that the guy I talked to? All right. Hey, Jack, we're done.

10:35 Best Of How can I intern for you, dude?

10:37 Adam How can you what?

10:38 Best Of Be an intern at the Man Show.

10:40 Adam I'll tell you what I need. I don't need any help at the Man Show, but I need you to go with me on appearances and carry me from my room to the venue upon your back. That's what I need, because I really blew out a knee trying to make it from my room over to the venue. And then here's the real trouble. You get drunk later on in the evening and you're doomed. I had to stop and take a leak halfway down. I took a leak, I vomited, I had to rehydrate.

11:12 Drew Was it in your urethroceptical, the ice machine?

11:17 Adam When I crap in an ice machine, and one day I will, as God is my witness, I will have completed the trilogy. I've thrown up in an ice machine in Tijuana. I've urinated in an ice machine in Orange County. And when I make number two in an ice machine, and God knows where, could be in your town, I will have completed the trilogy. And the only reason I haven't done it yet is I will think I'll have nothing left to live for. You know what I mean? Like, you know when people retire and they say they die six months later?

11:47 Drew Yeah.

11:48 Adam Or when their spouse dies and they go?

11:51 Drew That's true.

11:52 Adam The day I take that duke in the ice machine, I may go just hours later. Maybe from the beating that the security is giving me.

12:01 Best Of Somewhat a few other people.

12:04 Adam Now, to be fair to me, I didn't urinate into the ice.

12:09 Drew Oh, you didn't?

12:10 Adam Oh, no. I urinated into the drain below the ice receptacle.

12:15 Drew Oh, the story is now somehow quite as glamorous.

12:19 Adam But in Tijuana, I chucked right into the ice because the technology, surprisingly enough, isn't what it is here in the States. They have a different kind of ice machine, old school ice. That's right. Danielle?

12:34 Yeah?

12:35 Adam You're 18.

12:36 Caller Yes, I am.

12:37 Caller What's up?

12:39 Caller I just started dating this guy about a month ago, and we used to work together, and he recently just left. But I have a feeling I can't trust him because every time I want to go over to his house, he never lets me.

12:52 Drew Because his girlfriend's there, or his wife or something.

12:54 Caller Yeah, he has an ex-wife.

12:57 Adam He could have a crappy place, and, you know, he could be embarrassed.

13:01 Drew Then why didn't he say so?

13:03 Caller I was only in there once.

13:04 Drew Hold on.

13:04 Caller I get to 12.30 at night.

13:05 Adam Part of having a crappy place and being embarrassed is not when I say anything about it.

13:09 Drew Was it a crappy place?

13:10 Caller No, it was actually very nice.

13:13 Adam Yeah.

13:13 Caller And he drives a really nice car. But I don't know, because I really, really like this guy. And everybody at work tells me not to date him because he's a total freak and he's a loser. And he's into pot and everything.

13:24 Adam How old is he?

13:25 Caller He's 20.

13:27 Adam And he has an ex-wife already?

13:29 Caller Yeah.

13:30 Adam What's a nice car? Iroxi?

13:32 Caller No, um, Mitsubishi Galant. I think it's like a 99 or something.

13:38 Adam Ooh, still smells new. All right. Yeah. Well, the guy has an ex-wife at 20. Probably not a great sign. Yeah. And he doesn't want you to come over. But you did come over there once. Yeah.

13:53 Caller But he made me wait outside for 20 minutes before you let me in.

13:58 Adam Maybe he's got some sort of hydroponic pot farm or something in there. And what, when he said wait outside for 20 minutes, I got to go in there and heard the sheep. What did he tell you when he came back out?

14:11 Caller He's like, he just told me they had to go inside and take care of something.

14:16 Adam Yeah, that doesn't sound good.

14:17 Caller That sounds a little spooky.

14:19 Drew Why are you into-

14:20 Adam Put the hooker back in the fridge.

14:22 Drew Yeah. Why are you into losers?

14:23 Caller I don't honestly, I don't know why. If something attracts me to them and-

14:28 Drew So you're always into losers?

14:30 Caller No, I'm not always into losers, just most of the time.

14:33 Drew Okay.

14:35 Adam All right.

14:35 Drew Let's do something different this time.

14:37 Adam Are you chunky?

14:38 Caller No.

14:38 Adam All right. Then there's no excuse.

14:40 I-

14:43 Adam Speaking of losers. Oh.

14:45 Drew Losers, our clock's out.

14:47 Adam Yeah, I know. I noticed that. It's been out the whole show. I talked to a guy who was a Klingon.

14:55 Drew Yeah.

14:55 Adam In the lobby of the hotel for about an hour last night.

14:59 Drew Why?

15:00 Adam I'm entertained by people that are in worse shape than I am emotionally.

15:04 Drew So, anybody standing there in a Klingon outfit in front of the Star Trek Experience?

15:09 Adam Not a Klingon outfit. Not in front of the Star Trek Experience.

15:12 Drew Oh, he was a Trekkie.

15:14 Adam He was a Trekkie.

15:15 Drew Oh, boy.

15:15 Adam He attended all the conventions. He was wearing a Klingon shirt. I spoke to him. I asked him if he had any... He said he brought his uniform when he was parading around yesterday. No convention, no special occasion. Just packs the Klingon uniform. So, I told him to ask him if he had any pictures. He said in his room, and he headed up and got them.

15:36 Drew Of him.

15:37 Adam Apparently, his room was somewhere near the planet Earth. So, he was back in a mere 10 minutes with a full scrapbook of conventions and him and Klingon outfits that we stood right in the middle of the casino and went through it. It was great. Then another one of his Klingon compadres came over and... Guy was probably late 30s. Jimmy asked him if he was still living at home. He said, yeah, with his mom. Jimmy asked him if he was a virgin. He said, just once. With a big gown. Yeah.

16:11 Drew Maybe that's what causes them to go that way. Not the big gown, just the fact that they've not had adequate release.

16:17 Adam Let me... Certainly not a happy one. Let me explain how this stuff works for all the guys. It's not coincidence. Guys, think about the guys you went to high school or college with that got a lot of tail. Magically, not into anything. Not into any kind of clubs, not into the Spanish club, not into speech and debate.

16:39 Drew You gotta take that energy and put it somewhere.

16:41 Adam Yeah. It's like, hey, I got 15 hours free each day. I ain't getting nothing. I ain't hanging out with any women. I'm not chasing any. I got a big, big open window.

16:52 Drew Gotta find a way to feel okay.

16:53 Adam Gonna fill it with Klingons. That's the way it works. Yeah. So the less tail you get, the more chance you have of becoming a Klingon. And these guys go around the country. And then he pulled out stuff from his scrapbook. He has stuff in his garage that he built, you know, transporter units.

17:14 Drew Oh my God.

17:15 Adam Oh yeah. Yeah.

17:18 Drew What if we could harness that energy? We need a political cause for these people.

17:22 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I I'm fascinated by stuff other people are fascinated by. And even if I'm not fascinated by what they're fascinated by, I'm fascinated that they're fascinated. Who has this kind of energy? I saw Star Trek once when I was nine, labeled it a turd and moved on to Sheriff John.

17:42 Drew Or engineer Bill. Real TV show.

17:45 Adam Real TV show. A Star Trek look bad to me when I was 10 years old. It really did. I can't understand it. Oh, the guy made a life out of it. He was more into being a Klingon than I am into being a comedian. Lisa?

17:58 Drew That's not hard to do.

17:59 Adam And funnier, I might add.

18:01 Lisa?

18:02 Adam Yeah, you're 35.

18:03 Caller Yes. And my boyfriend is married. And I was just wondering if he's having an affair with me in order for his wife to find out about it.

18:12 Drew He's having an affair because he can.

18:15 Caller Because he can?

18:16 Drew Guys are not that...

18:18 Adam Why do you, yeah, guys don't work that way.

18:19 Drew They don't plot.

18:20 Adam You women have affairs.

18:22 Drew To make somebody mad.

18:23 Adam To get someone mad or jealous. Guys have affairs because they're drunk, they have erections, or they can't.

18:30 Drew You let them. Not to say that they're not responsible, but you shouldn't assume that because he's married and having an affair with you, he feels a damn thing. He doesn't.

18:40 Caller So you don't think he... So it's just because he can, not that I mean anything to him.

18:45 Adam You may mean something, but that doesn't mean anything.

18:50 Drew He's not gonna be able to step up the way you need him to.

18:53 Adam Well, how long have you been carrying on with him?

18:56 Caller Probably like nine months.

18:58 Adam Has he been saying that he's gonna leave his wife?

19:00 Caller No, he said that he wouldn't because he has children and so...

19:04 Drew Well, there you go. At least he's been honest about that.

19:07 Adam Wow, and you're still hanging, huh?

19:10 Caller Well, I mean, I'm not really ready for like a serious relationship of my own, so...

19:15 Adam No kidding.

19:15 Caller I guess it kind of works out both ways.

19:17 Drew At 35, did you just have a relationship that ended badly?

19:20 Caller Um, yeah, I was married, but my husband passed away.

19:24 Drew What happened?

19:30 Caller It's just really difficult, you know, just...

19:34 Drew Was it drugs and alcohol?

19:35 Caller Um, no.

19:37 Drew How old was he?

19:38 Caller He was 35.

19:39 Drew And it was some sort of medical condition?

19:41 Caller Um, yeah, you know, he just got, um, he got sick. Um, he took his own life.

19:47 Drew He had suicide and he was not using alcohol or drugs?

19:49 Caller No.

19:50 Drew At all.

19:51 Adam Well, did he have a terminal condition?

19:53 Caller No.

19:55 Adam Oh, he just, he just...

19:55 Drew Depressed.

19:56 Adam You know, he didn't, he didn't get sick. He didn't have terminal cancer and then kill himself. He just killed himself.

20:02 Caller Yes.

20:02 Adam Oh, boy.

20:03 Drew Just to highlight, I mean, 20% of people with depression kill themselves. 20%?

20:08 Caller He was sick, but I don't know if it was, you know, classified as a depression, but he was mentally sick.

20:14 Adam Oh, boy. Yeah. All right. Well, listen, I can see you not wanting to get involved in anything for a little while.

20:19 Right.

20:20 Adam You don't feel responsible for him, do you?

20:23 Caller Not anymore, no.

20:24 Adam Okay.

20:25 Drew You did, though, huh?

20:26 Yeah, of course.

20:27 Adam How could you not?

20:28 Caller Yeah.

20:29 Drew Yeah.

20:30 Adam Well, what do you mean? What was that big question mark over your head?

20:33 Drew I mean, he had a mental illness. She didn't cause it and she knew he was being cared for and it went out of control. What's she gonna do?

20:40 Adam Well, I don't know if he was being cared for and who knows what she could have done. And your mate kills themselves. That's a little bit of a commentary on you, too.

20:52 Drew I'm surprised you'd say that because it, not really. I mean, somebody has a severe depression.

20:56 Adam Oh, not in reality, but you gotta feel it.

20:59 Drew You'd feel it. It feels awful. You feel like you should be able to do something.

21:03 Adam You gotta feel somewhat copable.

21:05 Drew You should be able to have done something, but the reality is people can't. That's the point.

21:09 Adam I know, but since when is reality an issue?

21:13 Caller We're supposed to...

21:15 Adam No, here's what I'm saying. Here's the two things. If your wife or husband kills themselves, or your son or daughter kills themselves, or your patient as a therapist kills themselves, you're gonna feel somewhat connected to that, or somewhat responsible. It's your kid, especially if you're kid. You don't imagine if one of your kids killed himself.

21:36 Drew You'd be just...

21:37 Adam Well, you'd feel responsible in some way.

21:40 Drew Then you sort of, until the kid's independent, you are responsible.

21:43 Adam Well, I'm not saying he eats Legos when he's eight and a half. I'm talking about as an adult. You'd understand. He had a depression, he had an illness. He still killed himself.

21:52 Drew You'd wish you would have done something.

21:54 Adam Right, right. So I took this huge nap today, right? Yeah. And I was on my back and I got one of the best erections of my life.

22:03 Drew What does that mean?

22:04 Adam I mean, it was just like reaching for the ceiling fan. It was great. And I woke up and I was looking at it and I thought, wow, this is a great erection, I thought. And I thought, you know, I wasn't thinking about sex. I wasn't dreaming about sex. I was just taking a nap and I got this great erection. And then I thought to myself, you know, everyone gets an erection when they're asleep or for me, especially when I'm taking a nap. And then I thought, it's not sex. I really like napping. I'm getting an erection over napping. You know, I'm being actually sexually charged, stimulated by napping, the act of napping. Yeah. Well, wait a minute, Anderson, your blood is running down in between. Easy. Easy, tiger. I swear to God. And then people can do that and get excited, you know, over, uh, feet.

22:54 Drew Here's the deal, though. Erections like that, you had about every 48 minutes when you were 17.

22:59 Adam Yeah. Oh, yes.

23:00 Drew Now it's once in a decade.

23:01 Adam I know. Wasted. Completely wasted. Thank God I'm accustomed to urinating in a sink because there's no way that thing would have made it into the toilet. No way. I would have leaked all over the curtain. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Mike. His doctor said that smoking pot caused him to be bipolar. He wants to know if that's possible.

23:24 Drew You want that one or do you want to have this one?

23:26 Adam Derek, who's 15. Could the chlorine in the pool turn his penis red? All right, that's better. After this.

23:35 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

24:12 Adam Hey, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. You know, just back from Vegas today, I want to give a quick tip to any of the strippers, or exotic dancers, listening to the program. And I know we have a fair amount of those people tuning in on a nightly basis. Let me just give you a quick etiquette tip.

24:35 Drew This is something you experienced yesterday?

24:37 Adam I was at, I was actually at the Olympic Gardens over there. Nice, very, very nice strip club over there on Friday night. And here's a little etiquette problem that a lot of the ladies have. One sat down next, I was talking to her for a while, maybe half an hour. And I said, how many nights a week you work here? She said, about two nights a week. Two nights a week, that leaves you plenty of time. What else do you do? I'm a mom. I thought, come on, don't weave the kids in. Leave the kids at home. And let me tell you something, this is not the first time this has happened to me. It has happened a lot.

25:24 Drew Adam, reality is creeping into your world.

25:27 Adam They like talking about their kids.

25:29 Drew What woman doesn't?

25:30 Adam That's the problem. Yes, that's my point.

25:32 Drew The problem is, they're a woman. They're a human being, that's the problem.

25:36 Adam You know, I like talking about model airplanes, but if I was a male stripper, I wouldn't be in front of some chick talking about heading down to the Van Nuys airport and flying my P-51 Mustang. You know what I'm saying? It's horrible etiquette. They go right for the kids. Now...

25:55 Drew How about if they talk about their sexual abuse in their own childhood? Would that be better?

25:59 Adam Marginally, it really would. I don't want to, you know, get a lap dance from mommy. And I don't want that money going to formula. I want it going to heroin and foil for the windows of their apartment. Do you know what I'm saying?

26:14 Drew Maybe there's a trend here. Maybe they're being... Maybe it is becoming a job.

26:18 Adam No kidding. I've had this happen a bunch of times.

26:21 What do you care?

26:25 Adam I didn't care that much, but I just thought to myself, why are you going right for the kids? You know what I'm saying? The temerity. Yes. When you what?

26:39 Drew Somebody took me to one of these things at my bachelor party. Wait, no, listen. Listen, and immediately, they want to start talking about cervical cancer.

26:46 Adam Oh, what the hell has this world come to? The strippers are talking about their kids and cervical cancer. Last time we were at, or like a year ago I was there, we actually got a ride home back to the apart, back to the hotel from one of the strippers. Open, she's driving an SUV, open the door. There's the child seat right there in the passenger. She got to, you know, hump it to the back. I mean, that's not her fault. She couldn't have seen it coming. There's rattles and bottles rolling around the car with the kid's seat. It's, I just don't like the idea of mommy in that role. That's all I'm saying. Still got to lap dance. Plus she looked like the oldest sister from 8 Is Enough.

27:25 Drew Oh, really?

27:27 Adam You guys remember the oldest sister from 8 Is Enough?

27:29 Drew Yeah, all business.

27:30 Adam Yeah, all business. Not bad looking, but not a sexual thing about her. Oh my God. Derek? Yeah. Oh, but hold on.

27:40 Drew Wait a second, Derek.

27:40 Adam But I ran into Minka, you know, my Asian queen?

27:44 Drew Oh my God.

27:45 Adam With the huge bra. The one you like. Yeah, Minka showed up. Sat right down next to me, gave me a lap dance. What? Talked to her for like an hour. You put me on Man Show. Totally broken English. And mean. She was a, she's Korean. And you know how those Koreans are? They're all mean. Mean. Mean people, those Koreans. Not bad people. Mean. Remember when the LA riot was going on?

28:12 Drew Oh yeah.

28:12 Adam And all the Koreans owned the liquor stores? Where were they?

28:15 Drew Shooting.

28:15 Adam Not home with the Jews. On the roof with the hunting rifle. That's right. Koreans, Koreans just shoot at people. They're mean people. I don't know what goes on over there. Cut it out.

28:27 Drew Tough.

28:28 Adam They're tough.

28:28 Drew Okay, tough.

28:29 Adam No, they're like a breed of dog.

28:31 Caller Like a chihuahua, you know?

28:32 Drew But mean implies they're indiscriminate mean. Tough means tough. When they need to be.

28:37 Adam They got a little of that going too. She was like, they like me because I have big breasts and I'm thin, I'm not fat. And she told me that about 800 times. You know, I am number one oriental breast queen. That's great mean. You put me on TV show now. Or on hiatus. You put me on TV show. I don't need money. I don't do this for money. You don't need money? No, I make plenty money. I make plenty money. At the end of the night, she's like, you give me money. I said, what happened? What happened? Are you not doing anything for money? No, I need money.

29:15 Drew Oh, my God. That's very funny.

29:17 Adam I got her and my friend a lap dance from, I mean, I got me and my friend a lap dance from Minka. Her breasts weighed like 27 pounds.

29:26 Drew How do you know?

29:27 Adam Bouncy, bouncy. She told me, and I lifted them up. Oh, there's, I mean, and you'd go nuts if you saw these things. Crazy. And she is super petite.

29:38 Drew With, is it all plastic?

29:39 Adam You know, I'm number one breast queen. I have huge breasts and I'm skinny. I'm not fat. It's like, yeah, that's right. Oh, hold on. That's the 82nd time you've told me you're skinny. Plus, I'm looking at your bony ass right now. You're not wearing anything.

29:52 Drew Is it, it's all plastic bags?

29:54 Adam Oh, my God.

29:55 Drew No, is it?

29:56 Adam Oh, yeah, but it weighs a tremendous amount. And I said, Minka, how do you, how do you do that? I mean, doesn't that hurt you bad? I do 100 pushups a day. Maybe it was sit-ups. Whatever she does, she does 100.

30:10 Drew Pushups, there's nowhere to, how could she go down?

30:12 Adam She, yeah, she couldn't go down. You know, and here's how she could do it. She could take, she'd have to get two risers for her hands. She'd have to get up off the ground. She'd have to do it on chairs, like Jacqueline or something. I'm number one, oriental big boob queen, because I'm skinny. I'm skinny, I'm not fat. I'm very skinny and I have big breasts.

30:31 Drew Was Jimmy there for this?

30:32 Adam Yeah, Jimmy's going nuts. And she was, oh, and you put me on Man Show. I said, I tried to put you on a Man Show. I actually did call her for some. I know, I know you called, but I have, I have language barrier.

30:44 Drew No kidding.

30:45 Adam Yeah, I know. And she kept telling me, she didn't need money though.

30:48 Drew Yeah, till you tried to leave.

30:50 Adam You know, it's funny too when people tell you stories and they don't seem to make sense. I come here from Korea, I'm a professional tennis player. Swear to God, swear to God. You know, she didn't have the circus-sized brass at that time. I'm a professional tennis player. And my tennis coach, he tell me, he tell me, Minka, you're very beautiful, you're very skinny, you get breast implants, you do, you do adult business. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, your tennis coach had a, you know, started pimping you. No way, do you know what I mean? You were just some, like you're like a college student from Korea, you came out the United States on the professional tennis circuit, and one day in the locker room, some coach pulled you aside, told you to get huge circus size implants and go into the adult film industry. Did, is that really how it went? Something must have happened, cause there she was. I'm very skinny with big breasts. Men like that. But I don't need money. Now you pay me. That's great. She sat there for an hour and a half, said she didn't need money 400 times, and then wanted money.

32:09 Drew Derrick? Yeah?

32:10 What's going on?

32:12 In my pool, there's like these little, like the filter things, or the jets, you know?

32:17 Drew You mean your jacuzzi?

32:18 No, no, my pool. Like, it's my needed pool.

32:21 Drew Okay.

32:22 Adam The inlet, yeah.

32:23 Yeah, whatever.

32:24 Drew Oh, no.

32:25 Adam You put your penis on there?

32:26 Yeah, and like, when I woke up the next day, I had to take a bath, you know? And I went in there, and like, my penis was like red.

32:34 Drew Like purple-y red?

32:35 No, like red-red.

32:37 Drew Well, hell, I mean, why not?

32:40 I don't know.

32:40 Drew That sounds like pretty irritating.

32:42 Adam Yeah.

32:42 And then-

32:43 Adam I mean, listen, if you stuck your nose in there, it'd be red too, right?

32:47 I don't know, maybe. But then I was walking with my friends.

32:51 Drew Why are men so surprised that when they do extraordinary feats with their penis, it should respond like a-

32:58 Adam Yeah, like a Kevlar vest.

32:59 Yeah.

33:00 Adam I don't know, everybody. Your penis is just as delicate as any other part on your body, maybe more so, and unable to take abuse.

33:11 Drew I think young males think it's like some sort of, you know, some sort of-

33:15 Adam And they think it's a-

33:16 Drew Sword, weapon.

33:17 Adam Thor's hammer.

33:18 Drew Yeah. Excalibur.

33:23 Adam Yeah. Listen, yeah, you abuse your, you know, penis and your penis will abuse you. Mike? Yeah. I should do a series of PSAs with Minka.

33:32 Drew I think so.

33:32 Adam Oh my God. And Minka gave me a lap dance, put her knee into my groin and ground my nuts like she was making coffee. I mean, it was brutal. It was brutal. I'm telling you, those Koreans are mean.

33:51 Hey guys.

33:51 Drew Hey Mike, what's going on?

33:53 Actually, the lady that took my information got it wrong. My problem is-

33:59 Whatever.

34:00 Excuse me?

34:01 Drew Go ahead.

34:01 Okay. Anyway, about six months ago, I was diagnosed being bipolar, but up to that point, I was actually-

34:13 Drew Just depressed.

34:14 Yeah. I was really depressed, suicidal and stuff most of my childhood. When I was 13 years old, I started smoking pot and stuff. My dad's an alcoholic, my mom's an alcoholic. Pretty much everyone in my family is drunk, that kind of thing. Well, I'm coming to this point in my life now where I'm tired of feeling stupid.

34:37 Drew From the pot.

34:38 Yeah. I'm tired of all of that. I'm at that point where most people would progress into harder drugs because it really doesn't do anything for them.

34:46 Drew It's not working anymore. Yeah.

34:48 Yeah. So I'm at the point where I just, I want to quit and everything, but it's so hard because it feels like it's all I know.

34:55 Drew Mike, why don't you seek treatment? You seem like you're ready for that. You seem like you want to do something about the situation. In fact, these diagnoses you've been receiving may be somewhat inaccurate. For instance, it's considered standard or axiomatic that you don't try to make a diagnosis until somebody's been completely off drugs for a month or two.

35:14 See, that's what I was calling for. My counselor now told me that with me smoking pot, it may inhibit my medication.

35:27 Drew It might do anything. There's absolutely, truly no telling how much it's affecting you. So if I were you, you're health 21, get into a treatment program. So if you can, a day or an evening program or an inpatient program, if you feel you need that, and let's get this thing going. You sound like you're really ready to do some work. You understand the connection between what you're doing and the effects it's having in your life. You want to feel better, you can. Go ahead.

35:49 Adam My nuts need rehab after Minka's knee. Yeah. I'm telling you, brutal.

35:56 Caller Brutal.

35:56 Adam I forgot about that.

35:57 Drew TA is out there.

35:58 Caller Oh.

36:02 Adam TA?

36:03 Drew Testicles Anonymous?

36:04 Adam Oh, I see. Yes. When you think about a slang, hold on a second. Hey, Zeus?

36:11 This is Jesus.

36:12 Adam Oh, Jesus. Sorry. Jesus, didn't you call a few weeks back?

36:16 Yeah. You were making fun of my grammar.

36:18 Adam That's right.

36:19 Yeah.

36:20 Adam Well, a lot's changed since you passed on 2,000 years ago.

36:23 Yeah. All the translations between all the languages.

36:28 Adam Right.

36:28 Yeah.

36:29 Adam Yeah. You have to speak 2,000 languages, right?

36:32 Of course. I understand all the languages. I understand.

36:36 Drew Now he's got surfer, skateboarder, not only speaking now.

36:40 Adam What's up, Jesus?

36:43 You wanted to know if...

36:45 Adam Who's that? Who's that? St. Peter, one of your apostles?

36:47 Drew Whispering in your ear there?

36:49 Oh, my dad.

36:50 Drew Oh.

36:51 Adam Is that God?

36:52 Joseph.

36:55 Adam Wait a minute. Your dad is God, right? Or is it, oh, Joseph?

36:58 God.

36:58 Adam God, yeah.

36:59 He told me that he's the one...

37:00 Adam Wait a minute. The Jews don't think that's your dad, right?

37:03 Eh, they're stupid, anyway.

37:04 Adam Oh, okay. All right, Jesus.

37:08 Yeah. Anyways, he told me to tell you that he's the one who gave me the erection in the morning. That's the... It reminds you that you're a man, you know?

37:16 Adam Yeah.

37:17 They give praise that you're a man, not a woman.

37:19 Adam It seemed divine. It really did.

37:21 Yeah, it really is.

37:22 Adam All right.

37:23 And...

37:23 Adam Yeah, Jesus?

37:25 You told me to tell you whether I leaked or not, because you say you don't leak. You're, like, you know, sealed up.

37:30 Adam Right.

37:31 And, you know, I just called up to tell you, you know, I leak. I'm one of the leakers.

37:35 Adam Jesus is a leaker?

37:37 Yep. I'm a leaker.

37:38 Adam Hey, you know what? Is that what it was on? You know, sometimes you get that stuff on your windshield and you don't know what it is. It's not bird crap. It's not sap. It's something else. Yeah. Maybe that's Jesus leaking. Unacceptable. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He means a little semen on there, right?

37:53 Drew Yeah.

37:54 Adam Drew, most guys are leakers, right? You get them going, right?

37:57 Drew Yep.

37:58 Adam Not me.

37:59 Drew I know.

37:59 Adam Bone dry. Get it? Bone dry?

38:02 Drew Yeah, got it.

38:03 Caller Good.

38:04 Adam Take a little break.

38:05 Drew It's not got that far to leak either.

38:10 Caller How dare you?

38:12 Caller How dare you?

38:13 Adam Take a little break. We'll be back.

38:16 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

38:53 Adam Because you hate when the show interrupts our conversation, Drew. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, where are we here, Drew?

39:09 Drew Right there.

39:10 Adam Hop back on the phone. Speak to Chris. And Chris is 17 years old.

39:14 Caller What's up?

39:15 Best Of Hi.

39:17 Caller Adam, I'd just like to say that I love The Man Show.

39:21 Adam Yes.

39:21 Caller And I want to be a Juggie on there. I think they're beautiful women.

39:25 Adam The Juggie Dance Squad?

39:26 Drew Yeah. Is tonight's show over? No.

39:29 Adam Not only are they beautiful on the outside, but they're good looking too.

39:34 Drew Yeah.

39:35 Adam That's what I like to say about this.

39:36 Drew Is the show over now or is it still on?

39:39 Adam Thank you. The show ended 15 minutes ago.

39:43 Drew I'm anxious to hear of any. It's a half hour show. If there's any reaction to the Rosie O'Donnell piece.

39:48 Adam She fell in a well, everybody. I think that's what came on tonight. So what's up there, Chris?

39:54 Caller Well, just over the weekend, well, I've been addicted to Coke for three years now.

40:02 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. I remember when I went through my Coke phase at 14. Most adolescents do. Is that true, Drew? Three years into Coke, huh?

40:14 Caller Yeah.

40:14 Drew How do you support that habit at 17?

40:16 Caller Well, I've had the same drug guy for the three years, and so he's been a friend and he's been getting it for me.

40:26 Drew For free?

40:27 Caller Well, no, not for free. I've been having to pay him, but sometimes he gets a little lower.

40:33 Adam How much is a gram these days?

40:36 Caller A gram? Well, I get it from him for about $100.

40:40 Drew Let me repeat my question.

40:41 Adam That ain't a big discount, is it?

40:42 Drew How do you support this habit?

40:45 Caller What do you mean?

40:46 Drew Oh, man. What do you mean?

40:49 Best Of Yes.

40:50 Drew Where does the money come from for this?

40:52 Best Of Well, I have a job.

40:54 Drew What do you do?

40:55 Caller Oh, I can't say.

40:56 Adam Coke whore.

40:57 Drew Since you were 14, you've had a job to support $100?

41:01 Caller No, I've been getting it from my boyfriend, too.

41:04 Drew For your boyfriend?

41:05 Adam From.

41:05 Drew From your boyfriend.

41:06 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

41:08 Caller My boyfriend, he's 17, too.

41:09 Adam Hey, Kristen, I heard Coke was cheaper than $100 a gram now. You're getting it as a deal. Are you in prison?

41:17 Caller No.

41:18 Adam Why? This guy's cutting you a deal and charging you $100 a gram? I mean, this is my main concern. The economics. I thought you'd get an eight ball, which is like three and a half grams for a couple hundred bucks or $175 or something these days. Hold on. Anderson, how much is Coke now?

41:37 Caller I was going to say 60, but dude, I don't know.

41:39 Adam That was as of Friday? Thursday. Thursday. That's right. We don't work Friday. That's right. Or just a few hours.

41:48 Caller Can I ask a question?

41:49 Adam I'm sorry.

41:49 Drew Go ahead.

41:50 Caller It's okay.

41:51 Drew Well, we're more anxious to know what state your life is in, which doesn't sound too good.

41:56 Adam Well, how much were you doing? How much Coke were you doing a week?

42:00 Caller Not that much.

42:01 Drew How much?

42:01 Caller It's just-

42:02 Adam How much?

42:03 Caller I don't know.

42:04 Adam Yes, you do. How much?

42:05 Drew How much do you spend every week?

42:07 Caller I maybe spend six to like three.

42:15 Drew Six hundred dollars to three thousand dollars?

42:16 Caller Three hundred dollars.

42:18 Adam It's funny how she starts with the high-

42:20 Caller I have like two grams a week.

42:21 Drew Three hundred to six hundred dollars a week. How do you maintain that habit?

42:24 Adam How do you- What do you mean?

42:24 Caller I have help from my boyfriend because he understands. And my dad, he gives me some money sometimes.

42:29 Drew Oh, I'm sure he does.

42:30 Adam Okay. Wow. All right, so-

42:32 Caller I'm trying to get off now.

42:34 Adam I understand. Listen, if you're doing-

42:35 Drew You need to be treated, Chris, and this is not a minor league addiction. It's not even-

42:39 Caller I know, and like, my question is, my drug dealer, he said he had some different stuff from me at his house and he gave it to me and it was just, it was, I passed out and when he brought me to my house, because he's been a friend of mine for three years, and he raped me and I woke up halfway during it and I was kind of still like out of it because I didn't know to push him off or anything like that because I don't know what he could have done to me.

43:08 Drew Why didn't you go to the police?

43:10 Adam Wait a minute, he was a friend of yours.

43:12 Drew Well, he's a drug dealer.

43:14 Caller Yeah.

43:14 Adam Well, he's a friend of yours. You couldn't push him off? You didn't know what he'd do to you?

43:19 Caller And I wasn't even, I couldn't.

43:22 Drew She didn't know what was going on.

43:22 Caller I was weak.

43:23 Adam Oh, you tried to.

43:25 Caller Yeah, I tried to like kind of just move my arms because I could barely even do that. The drug, he gave me some weird drugs and that's why I'm asking since he raped me, I'm going to try and get the morning after pill.

43:36 Drew Go get it quick. Quick.

43:38 Caller But the thing is, I don't know what it's going to do to me. Is it going to do anything to my system?

43:42 Drew Not nearly what pregnancy will do.

43:45 Adam Can you snort that pill?

43:46 Drew And by the way, Chris, you're doing dangerous drugs all day every day. This is a safe prescription medication that should be in everybody's medicine cabinet.

43:55 Caller Okay, so it won't do anything or something.

43:57 Drew Chris, Chris, Chris, let's be rational.

43:58 Adam Well, wait a minute, Chris, do you mean in combination with all the drugs you take or just on its own? Is it going to do anything to you?

44:05 Caller No, no, no, with the drug that he gave me. I don't know what he gave me. It made me black out.

44:09 Drew It doesn't matter. Go ahead, take the emergency contraception.

44:11 Caller Okay.

44:12 Drew Take it, take it, take it. But your life is, though, in danger from the drug addiction right now.

44:17 Caller Yes, I'm trying to stop. That's why I'm...

44:18 Drew It's not something you can stop unless you're treated. I guarantee you can't stop without treatment.

44:23 Adam Well, not with that negative attitude.

44:24 Caller I have a boyfriend and my parents are in it.

44:26 Drew Where are you going to treat for treatment?

44:29 Caller Well, we're searching right now. We're still trying to get the drug out of my system, trying to make it lower.

44:34 Best Of Why?

44:36 Drew You need to go to a hospital, go inpatient, and be treated. That's where you need to go. You do not need to worry about anything, except getting into a hospital as quick as possible.

44:46 Thank you.

44:47 Adam What are your parents, white collar types?

44:51 Caller No, they're just normal parents who are just really understanding that I love them for everything that they're worth.

44:58 Adam Okay. They must have radios. Hey, how's your boyfriend with the rape?

45:04 Caller He's been calling me and I haven't been able to tell him what happened.

45:07 Adam Oh, all right.

45:07 Caller I haven't been in contact with my drug dealer or anything like that.

45:10 Drew You need to go to the emergency room and get a forensic examination. You need to report this guy. You need to be treated for STDs. You need to get the emergency contraception. Then you need to get a referral from the emergency department for treatment for the addiction and go immediately. Do not stop. Do not hesitate. Just go right in. The first part of treatment is detoxification. They'll take care of that for you.

45:30 Adam And listen, you want to talk about rape, 100 bucks a gram. That's what I call rape. That is an outrage. That is a complete outrage. How dare you? He was raping her twice. Yeah, that's what I'm upset about. 100 bucks. He calls himself a friend. 100 bucks a gram, Drew, in this day and age? I go down a corner, I go down to Beverly Hills, get a better deal than that. You hear me?

45:54 Drew That's nice.

45:56 Adam Anderson said he got his last eight ball for 60 bucks in a BJ.

46:03 Caller Uh-uh.

46:05 Adam Ginger, era 16.

46:08 Caller Uh-uh.

46:08 What's up?

46:10 Caller Well, I've been dating this guy for a year now. Well, he's now pressuring me into sex. He hasn't brought it up till now.

46:18 Adam For one year, he hasn't brought it up?

46:20 Caller Uh-huh. Until now. I'm still a virgin, but he's done it a couple of times before.

46:25 Drew How old is he?

46:27 He's 18.

46:28 Caller Great.

46:28 Adam 19?

46:29 Caller 18.

46:30 Caller Okay.

46:31 Adam Just checking.

46:31 Drew When does he turn 19?

46:33 Adam Tomorrow.

46:34 Caller He won't be turning 19 until next year.

46:37 Adam Okay. Well, it's good that he hasn't, he gave it a year, right?

46:43 Caller Yeah.

46:44 Adam And I don't know what to think of that.

46:49 Drew Why? What could be wrong with that? Wait, wait, wait. Adam. Wait, wait, wait. Adam, what do you mean you don't know what to think of that?

46:59 Adam I don't know.

47:00 Drew It bothers you?

47:01 Adam No, it's just we know that chivalry is dead.

47:05 Drew Okay.

47:06 Adam And that people do things for reasons, right? Sad as it is.

47:09 Drew Yeah.

47:10 Adam You know what I'm saying?

47:11 Drew Yeah, yeah.

47:13 Adam And I just wonder, you know, he sat on this for a year. Do you think he's a great guy or do you think he's like a little confused or?

47:20 Drew Or doing something else.

47:21 Adam Whatever. I don't know. Okay, let's just assume he's a decent guy. But Ginger's still not ready for sex. How far have you gotten? What base have you gotten to with him?

47:31 Best Of Um, well, like.

47:34 Adam Keep in mind, second base is now sodomy.

47:37 Best Of Probably about, yeah, probably about second.

47:40 Adam Okay, so cornholeing?

47:42 Best Of Yeah.

47:43 Caller Okay.

47:44 Caller And then also like when I talk to him about it and I ask him like if he's ever been tested.

47:49 Adam Third base is now snuff film. You actually kill your partner and have sex with them. But seriously, Ginger, how far have you gotten with him? I think he grabbed your boob.

47:57 Caller No, farther than that.

47:59 Adam Farther? Oral sex?

48:01 Caller Uh-huh.

48:02 Adam Wow. Is that second base now?

48:05 Caller Third, I guess, isn't it? I don't know.

48:06 Adam Is third oral sex? Hold on. I don't think we had oral sex in my ballpark.

48:11 Drew No, that was something you did after the home run.

48:14 Adam Yeah, on the way back to the dugout. You know like when you come out of the dugout and tip your hat after hitting the home run, that's where you participate in the oral sex.

48:23 Drew Now it's second base.

48:24 Adam All right, I think we got to take a break. Listen, Ginger?

48:28 Drew Not ready. Don't worry about it.

48:29 Adam You're not ready? So don't do it. And he sounds like a decent guy. Plus, he's 18. So it's a felony. Or at least a misdemeanor. After this.

48:39 Caller Hello?

48:41 Best Of This is Loveline.

48:42 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:48 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

48:53 Adam We don't care when it shows.

48:55 Caller You're listening to Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

49:00 Caller You're kind of the Cartier of caca, aren't you?

49:02 Caller KQBZ Seattle.

49:17 Adam They can still admit that.

49:18 Drew They can't, they admitted it?

49:19 Adam Yeah. Thanks, Drew. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. All righty there. I got some popcorn balls dropped off at the studio here. And let me tell you.

49:38 Drew You asked what happened to them.

49:39 Adam Yeah, I wanna know what happened to popcorn balls, and I think I found out the answer. They're delivered by crazy women over to Loveline Studio. I couldn't eat stuff, especially stuff that looked like it was made in a prison cafeteria and dropped off in a plain paper bag and wrapped crudely with cellophane. I will eat these.

49:59 Drew Right now?

50:00 Adam Oh, I absolutely will. Yeah.

50:03 Drew She just made them, so eat them now.

50:04 Adam She could have made them with fecal matter and love, and it doesn't matter. That could be one big ball of rat poison for all we know. But here's the beauty of me. I'll chomp right away. I have no idea who this woman is. She just dropped them off.

50:26 Drew So, they actually admitted that your stuff was better than theirs.

50:28 Adam That's good radio. All right, Drew, I don't want to talk about the work show.

50:32 Drew Amazing.

50:32 Caller All right. Ready to go?

50:36 Drew Let's go.

50:36 Holy crap.

50:37 Caller I'm not going to be able to talk to you.

50:39 Caller Hold on.

50:40 Drew Okay. They turned your mic off anyways. That's fine. Brandon, what's going on? Brandon's 19.

50:44 Hey, guys.

50:46 Drew Brandon, what's up?

50:47 Let's see. I was wondering how long it takes to know if you have herpes.

50:51 Drew What do you mean how long it takes to know?

50:52 Like say I got with some girl, Adam, she gave me a BJ, bada bing, bada bang. How many days later do I know like they start surfacing and things like that?

51:00 Drew Usually within two weeks.

51:02 Two weeks?

51:03 Drew Yeah. Though oftentimes men miss the initial outbreak. They don't really realize what they're seeing, that it's herpes. And it just goes unnoticed for a while. They don't really get the message until they give it to somebody else. But for the most part, if you're going to see something, you see it within two weeks.

51:17 Adam On the genital herpes?

51:18 Drew Yeah.

51:19 Adam I thought you got like fever and stuff.

51:21 Drew You can. You get a flu-like syndrome before that.

51:23 Adam How do you miss the initial outbreak of herpes?

51:25 Drew People think they just had the flu.

51:27 Adam No, I mean with the stuff on the jump.

51:30 Drew They just think I have an irritation, I have a rash or I cut myself. People's heads, they just miss that.

51:36 Adam If they're going to miss that one, they're going to miss the next one, right?

51:38 Drew Yeah.

51:39 Adam Okay. All right, thanks. All right, Brandon. Good luck to you over there.

51:43 Drew The upcoming ones usually aren't as intense. Women miss them commonly.

51:46 Adam Well, the women, they got...

51:49 Drew Stuff going on.

51:49 Adam Yeah, they're so busy shopping, they can't examine their vaginas. That's what my grandfather used to tell me. Sherry? Hello? You're 28.

51:58 Drew By the way, did your grandmother kick your ass for talking about it the other night?

52:00 Adam No. I haven't talked. And don't say that, because there's a chance that she wasn't listening the other night when I was talking about her. And then she could be listening tonight and want to know what I was saying the other night. You understand? Thank God, she spared me. Sherry, what's up?

52:17 Best Of Well, first I want to say I love your show.

52:19 Caller I listen all the time. I'm pregnant, and I had sex with my boyfriend today. And afterwards, there was a little bit of blood on there, and I was just wondering if I should be worried about having a miscarriage.

52:31 Adam You could probably just scratch a kid's forehead or something.

52:34 Drew How far along are you?

52:35 Caller About eight weeks.

52:37 Drew And you didn't talk to your obstetrician about this?

52:39 Well, it was the weekend, so I didn't want to bother them.

52:42 Drew Yeah, you should call them.

52:43 Really?

52:44 Drew They'll probably do an ultrasound and see what things are doing. Have you had an ultrasound yet?

52:48 Yeah, I didn't. See, I'm having one at the end of the month, so I didn't...

52:52 Caller I don't want to be calling every week with every little problem.

52:55 Drew Have you called with other problems?

52:57 Caller Well, I had a little bit of spotting before, like when I first found out I had spondyloxine, I know you guys have said that before, that sometimes early bleeding is a sign of pregnancy, so then I did like a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant, so they did an ultrasound and they scheduled another one for like four weeks later.

53:12 Drew They definitely saw a pregnancy, though.

53:13 Caller Yes. Yeah, there's a heartbeat and everything.

53:16 Drew Could they see where the placenta was?

53:18 Best Of They didn't say.

53:20 Drew Sometimes the placenta sort of comes down over the cervix and that can bleed pretty easily.

53:24 Adam How's your boyfriend?

53:26 How old?

53:27 Drew Traumatized.

53:28 Adam Is he all right with the kid?

53:30 Oh, yeah. He's very happy.

53:32 Adam All right. So he doesn't mind being daddy?

53:34 No. No, we wanted to do this.

53:38 Adam Oh, okay. Quite a shock. All right, Sherry.

53:41 Drew Call the obstetrician, okay? Okay, thanks. They need to look into this. Probably okay, as long as it's just occasional bleeding.

53:46 Caller Yeah.

53:48 Drew But it can't be a threatened abortion.

53:50 Adam Yeah. Still thinking about the OB-GYN thing.

53:54 Drew What do you mean?

53:55 Adam The op-gyne thing?

53:56 Drew Yeah.

53:57 Adam It's always confusing to me because for years, I thought the letter meant something.

54:02 Drew All right.

54:02 Adam It's an OB-GYN.

54:05 Drew Oh, like each one stood for something, like an eponym or something? Yeah.

54:08 Adam Well, usually when people say the letters individually, like YMCA, you don't think YMCA. You know what I mean? You think young men's, what the hell? Christians Association. So OB-GYN, I was always trying to figure out what the letters for each one. I didn't know it was a two abbreviation. Write that down, Drew.

54:32 Drew Let's see what it should stand for.

54:35 Adam Deborah?

54:35 Hi.

54:36 Adam You're 22.

54:37 Caller Yes. What's up? I recently went off in antidepressant, and I've been feeling a little slightly dizzy. That's sort of gone away, but still, it's been about two and a half weeks, and I'm still...

54:48 Drew Was it Effexor or Paxil that you came off of?

54:50 Caller It was Paxil.

54:51 Drew Yeah, that's the typical withdrawal syndrome from those.

54:52 Caller But I'm also feeling, and I had known that, but I'm also feeling disoriented and a bit confused and forgetful.

54:59 Drew Yeah, that's a very weird withdrawal syndrome. It can go on for quite some little time here.

55:02 Caller Really? How long could it go on?

55:04 Drew Weeks. And I would think, you came down from 20 milligrams?

55:07 Caller Yeah.

55:07 Drew You should go to 10 first.

55:09 Caller I know. I really didn't do it responsibly. I'm not under very close watch medical care.

55:14 Drew Well, it can make you sick. And not only is that the dizziness, but there's this also sort of weird, I don't feel good thing that goes on for that sweating and sleep problems. They go on for a long time. Oh, it's not good to stop Paxil suddenly.

55:27 Caller Okay, I'll...

55:30 Adam Hold on, Drew, keep going. I could have another bite of this.

55:33 Drew And going on and off isn't a good idea necessarily either. You just need to be watched by somebody. How long have you been off it now?

55:40 Caller Well, I've been off it for two and a half weeks now.

55:42 Drew I mean, if I were watching, I'd probably try another week, see how you did.

55:46 Caller Without it?

55:47 Drew Since you've already gone this far, yeah.

55:49 Caller Yeah, I just don't want to have to go through this again if I go on it again. It's just been really... I'm not usually confused like this, and I've really been disoriented.

55:58 Drew Yeah, it's not fun.

56:01 Caller All right, so it should go on for another couple weeks?

56:03 Caller It could.

56:04 Best Of Okay.

56:05 Caller All right.

56:07 Best Of Thanks.

56:08 Adam Hey, remember when you were a kid, you'd get popcorn balls for Halloween?

56:13 Drew Yeah, that's the only time I ever saw them.

56:15 Adam That was a simpler time, wasn't it? Imagine eating some homemade trick-or-treating these days. Yeah, there's a claymore mine inside of the popcorn ball. We just think about it. Think about how nuts it would be to have when your kids hit some house down the street and grab something that was whipped up in the kitchen.

56:39 Drew Yeah, it didn't have a sealed wrapper on it.

56:41 Adam No, it was like a saran wrap and a little thing. My mom, because she was like a health nut...

56:47 Caller No.

56:48 Toothbrushes.

56:49 Adam No, she gave out like walnuts. What do you think came flying back at the house as soon as the kids hit the driveway? Walnuts and raisins I'm handing out like a goddamn Yule Givens out there.

57:01 Caller Nut shelled?

57:03 Adam A whole shell.

57:04 Drew Think of the symbolism of that.

57:06 Adam Nuts. That's right. My mom is crazy handing those things out. Nuts you can't penetrate. Well I mean yeah sure you could go out to the curb and beat it with a rock or something and get a fragment of walnut out of there. And raisins too. That was the other thing. Yeah Halloween is a turn and you know I was sitting on the plane on the ride home for a sit next to a woman who ran Marathons? No she ran ARCO gas stations or whatever so I immediately unloaded on her about what a hole everybody in LA who works at a gas station is and how they go out of their way to be rude and evil. And then I started talking about you know guys with bow ties running out and giving you blue chip stamps and begging to check your oil about 20 years ago. And then I thought about it make it 30 years ago. Now I remember as a kid going to the gas station they give you trading stamps they check your oil they check your tire pressure and there's a guy cleaning your windshields like pulling into a pit stop at an Indy race.

58:12 Drew By the time you were three that was over.

58:14 Adam Here's my point. I thought to myself what business has had a greater transition? A greater swing. You know what I mean? From sort of over-the-top, serpy sweet guys in bow ties and caps, can I help you ma'am? To steel-eyed foreigners throwing change at you and they're yelling at you through a speaker. You know what I mean? What business has gone from that nice to that big a hole?

58:42 Drew The airline's getting close.

58:44 Adam Oh really? Well I guess it's true. Yeah but they're passing along the savings.

58:49 Drew Yeah that's right.

58:50 Adam Gas station, gas is a buck eighty-five a gallon. They ain't passing it along. A pack of cigarettes is five bucks. It's not passing along the savings.

58:59 Drew Is there anything else that comes close?

59:01 Adam With that kind of swing? Yeah. No. I don't think anything that wasn't required would be tolerated. You need that. You live in LA. You need it. Yeah. And listen, anytime you need something, you're screwed. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Monopolies and needing stuff, you're screwed. That's why the cable guy says he'll be out between 8 a.m. and 9 p.m. Because where are you going? Yeah. You need him. There's nothing else and you need gas. That's why they're all a-holes. But again, all you attendants working in the Los Angeles area, please kill yourself. Put yourselves out of your own misery. Put me out of your own misery. You're the meanest, craziest mother effers in the world. I wish something would happen to all of you. Please drop the attitude. I beg you a-holes to drop the attitude. Art? Yeah? You're 15. I told this chick sitting next to me, I would go in there and clean house. Get rid of all these a-holes that own these gas stations. All these pricks that scream at you when you go in there. Somebody in LA, tell me the last time they heard thank you come again in a Los Angeles gas station. When is the last time you heard thank you? Forget to come again. I'm lowering it down to thank you. When is the last time you pulled into a gas station and a guy said thank you? Everyone, close their eyes, not while they're driving. Close their eyes and think back. This gotta be in the LA area. When's the last thank you you got from the gas station? Hasn't happened. Art, what's going on?

1:00:34 Caller Yeah, lately, I've been having dreams about guys like touching me. It's just been crazy, I don't know.

1:00:40 Drew How do you feel about those dreams?

1:00:43 Caller It's bothering me a lot.

1:00:46 Drew It's bothering you a lot?

1:00:47 Caller Yeah.

1:00:47 Drew When you're in the dreams, how do you feel about it?

1:00:49 Caller Uh, not good. I mean like surrounded, not confined.

1:00:53 Drew Is this something that has happened to you at one time, do you think?

1:00:56 No, not at all.

1:00:57 Drew All right. Are you okay otherwise? You having relationships and?

1:01:01 Caller Yeah, I'm fine.

1:01:02 Drew Everything going okay?

1:01:02 Adam What are they doing? What kind of touch you?

1:01:04 Caller Like the last one I had was last night and like they pulled me back into an alley and like raped me. There's like maybe three of them.

1:01:12 Drew Three males?

1:01:13 Adam Yeah. What do these guys look like when we can find them?

1:01:17 Caller They were like one was pretty buff.

1:01:21 Adam Latino, medium build? Yeah.

1:01:24 Drew Do you have any suspicion that you're?

1:01:26 Adam What age range? 18 to 24?

1:01:28 Caller Yeah. Around that probably.

1:01:30 Adam Any distinctive scars?

1:01:32 No.

1:01:32 Adam Tattoos?

1:01:33 Caller Nope.

1:01:33 Adam Nothing like that.

1:01:34 Drew Have you been curious at all? Anything like that? Bicurious, I guess they call it.

1:01:38 Caller Excuse me.

1:01:38 Drew Have you been curious about men in your real life? Not really. All right. Well.

1:01:44 Caller Just dreams you think?

1:01:45 Drew I think you're 15 and everybody has all sorts of-

1:01:50 Adam Not me.

1:01:51 Drew Okay. Everyone except Adam has all sorts of interesting feelings about their sexual orientation until it finally crystallizes into what it's going to be as an adult.

1:01:59 Adam All bets are off. And don't examine your dreams. They mean nothing.

1:02:05 Drew Except for you and your mom and your grandmother smacking over the head with your own testicles. That was a dream. While you drowned in a pool.

1:02:11 Adam The jury's still out on the mom and grandma selection, Freud. We're not sure it was them. Yes, many could argue that it was them because I described women that looked exactly like them.

1:02:22 Drew Except for that.

1:02:24 Adam But I don't think it was them. How dare you?

1:02:26 Caller How dare you?

1:02:28 Adam I brought that up to you as a doctor in confidence.

1:02:30 Drew Yeah, on the radio.

1:02:32 Adam Morgan?

1:02:33 Drew Actually, I did sort of ambush you on that one because you were bringing it up very matter of factly on the air. I was blown away by this embolism.

1:02:41 Adam Thank you.

1:02:42 Drew Morgan?

1:02:42 Best Of Yeah?

1:02:43 Drew What's up?

1:02:43 Caller Hi.

1:02:44 Adam What's up with you, honey?

1:02:47 Best Of Me and my boyfriend have been together for eight months. We had sex two days ago for the first time and the condom broke, and it got inside me, and we tried to get it out and stuff.

1:02:59 Drew Tried to get the condom out?

1:03:01 Best Of No, like the sperm and stuff.

1:03:03 Drew There's no way to get it out once it's in.

1:03:05 Best Of Huh?

1:03:06 Drew There's no way to get it out once it's in.

1:03:08 Best Of I know.

1:03:10 Adam What do you mean there's no way to get it? You mean get the sperm out?

1:03:13 Drew Yeah.

1:03:13 Adam Oh, I see.

1:03:14 Caller That's it.

1:03:15 Best Of And then, so we went to a clinic and I asked them for a morning after pill and they gave them to me and I took the first four and then later on, at like one o'clock at night, I started throwing up and I was supposed to take the next four at four o'clock in the morning. So I did at four and then I threw up like half an hour later.

1:03:43 Caller Did you see the pills?

1:03:44 Best Of Like, I don't know because it was dark, but I could like feel, I could like taste them.

1:03:49 Drew You're probably okay. I bet you're okay. Normally, not normally, but very often, doctors will give you a medicine to prevent vomiting.

1:03:58 Best Of Yeah, they give you a roach.

1:04:00 Drew A half hour, you're in pretty good shape.

1:04:02 Adam Hey, Morgan?

1:04:03 Caller Yeah?

1:04:04 Adam What's up with you besides this? You got that little voice going.

1:04:08 Drew Is that or she just been quiet so her parents don't hear?

1:04:10 Caller Could be that.

1:04:11 Adam You okay? Your boyfriend okay?

1:04:13 Best Of Yeah.

1:04:13 Drew He's not 23?

1:04:15 Best Of No.

1:04:15 Adam How old is he, 24? Okay, man. Slow it down now, all right?

1:04:20 Drew Good job being responsible with all this, okay?

1:04:23 Adam Let me tell you a good story and you're gonna like this. I can't mention who the girl is, but I heard this recent story, good story. She had herself a boyfriend. This girl?

1:04:38 Drew Yeah.

1:04:39 Adam It's no one you know, by the way, Drew, I'm not hinting around. Had herself a boyfriend, was cheating with another guy behind the boyfriend's back. Had the decency to use a condom.

1:04:54 Drew With the cheater?

1:04:55 Adam With the cheater guy. Except for condom broke one time.

1:05:00 Caller Fine.

1:05:02 Adam Now, later on that day, back with the steady boyfriend. Boyfriend's fishing around down there doing his business.

1:05:09 Drew Finds a condom.

1:05:10 Adam Pulls out fragments of a condom.

1:05:13 Caller Oh my god.

1:05:14 Adam Condom pieces. He don't use the condom.

1:05:18 Drew What did he do?

1:05:20 Caller What's up?

1:05:21 Caller And, well, you know, it's like, you can't lie.

1:05:25 Adam I mean, that's the kind of lie where you'd have to convene with your council for like, you're going to need at least half a day on that one. And one of those things is probably speakerphone on a conference call.

1:05:39 Caller You know what I mean?

1:05:40 Adam It's not the kind of, and here's the deal. You get popped like that, you can't stutter. You better come up. You got one choice.

1:05:48 Drew It's like, oh my God, it was, a condom exploded. Isn't that amazing that it got inside of me?

1:05:54 Adam Yeah. Where did the condom explode? I mean, what do you do?

1:05:58 Drew Come on.

1:05:59 Adam Where's the lie on that one?

1:06:01 Drew How did the interaction go?

1:06:02 Adam I want to know.

1:06:03 Drew What happened? He stormed right out of the room?

1:06:07 Adam He knew who the guy was, and just went straight over the guy's place and walloped him, really. He just picked it.

1:06:14 Drew He picked it right away. I said, I know this.

1:06:16 Adam How would he know? No. She just said, she didn't lie. You know what I'm saying?

1:06:22 Drew Because again, none of these people that beats the hell out of the, blames the other person instead of the partner.

1:06:29 Adam Yeah.

1:06:29 Drew This is like the women you're looking for.

1:06:32 Adam Yeah.

1:06:32 Drew When you cheat, beats the hell out of the women.

1:06:35 Adam That's right. That's what I'm looking for.

1:06:36 Drew That's what this guy is.

1:06:37 Adam Like what you see on TV, where the guy sits there in the middle and the two women call each other fat bitches and duke it out, and the guy just sits there with his arms crossed, and they go, he loves me more, know he loves me more, and they just fight, and the guy just sits there. That's what I want. Anne, producer Anne, I don't get the feeling with that. Oh, now picture those two women as Anne and your wife. You know what I mean? They both, it's like you go high, I'll go low. They both just broad, they just both go, they team you, they kill you.

1:07:07 Drew It would be like one of those Japanese tip-on things with the penis.

1:07:14 Adam Yeah, your wife pull a Benihana on your chin.

1:07:16 Drew Yeah, Benihana, right, exactly.

1:07:17 Adam All right. What the hell, what the hell were we, I ate at Benihana Friday night by the way, in Vegas, thank you. First Benihana reference and first time I've eaten at Benihana in seven years. I ate at Benihana on Friday night. Had a lovely experience. I said, there's six of us. How many at the table?

1:07:38 Caller Eight.

1:07:39 Adam All right, well, how about six of us sit at one? I said, no.

1:07:41 Drew Oh, no way.

1:07:42 Adam I said, it doesn't look very crowded in there. And we're all, you know, we're the 200 pound club. By the way, Benihana, you should go by weight. Combined weight. You got six guys all coming in about 200 pounds who are gonna do plenty eating over there. Appetizers and booze and we'll spend more than the average eight chicks who went in there and sat down. I guarantee you that. And we're big guys. So just let us spread out a little and take over one of the tables. Nope. No. That's what I love. John.

1:08:13 Caller Yes, sir.

1:08:14 Adam You're 21.

1:08:15 Caller How's it going, bro?

1:08:16 Adam Good.

1:08:17 Caller First of all, I'd like to say you guys have a killer show going on here.

1:08:19 Adam Thank you.

1:08:20 Caller I listen to you guys quite often. I just flew over here from Hawaii about a year ago. I work in construction now. But we had a threesome. And actually on the way out to the beach, my buddy, we were driving, my buddy asked me if he could get a hammer from the chick. I told him no at first. He kept asking. So I said, go ahead. He got a little hammer going on while I'm driving.

1:08:40 Caller Who's the chick?

1:08:42 Caller Her name was actually...

1:08:43 Adam I don't need her name, goofball. But how do you know her?

1:08:48 Caller She was a really good friend of mine. My other buddy actually has a kid with her now. It's been about a year or so. And I just went cruising with her. It happened a few times with the threesome. It happened a few times.

1:09:02 Adam All right. I understand you're getting laid, John. Fantastic. Hold on a second. John's one of these, hey, I bang this skanky chick with my buddy and the world must know. He's worked it into the conversation like four times now. What kind of construction are you into?

1:09:25 Caller Actually, I'm a good construction dude, Ben. I do all kinds. I'm an all around handy guy.

1:09:31 Adam I see. All right, thanks for that answer. But now the last piece of the puzzle.

1:09:37 Caller I got another question for Dr. Drew.

1:09:39 Adam What is your question? You have no question.

1:09:41 Caller I have a few questions. I'm really uncomfortable around girls now, unless I have a buddy around.

1:09:47 Adam Right. Well, who's going to get blown while you're driving?

1:09:50 Caller Exactly. But I was just wondering what, and I also smoke a lot of pot, see? I've been smoking pot forever. I came from Hawaii. There's a lot of them out there.

1:09:59 Adam Hold on, a Hawaiian guy smoking a lot of pot?

1:10:01 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:10:02 Drew Unbelievable.

1:10:04 Adam There must have been the one guy on the island who smoked, and that's why they kicked you off. You're a bad influence on the rest of them.

1:10:09 Caller Yeah.

1:10:10 Adam Don Ho came in here, was baked out of his mind. He owns half of Hawaii, and I asked that.

1:10:17 Drew Here he comes.

1:10:17 Adam Oh, wait, do I have him?

1:10:20 Drew No, I guess not. It doesn't look like it's up to something. Sorry.

1:10:24 Adam Drew, you're the biggest tar in the world. Don Ho came on this show. I asked him if he grew any pot on his property in Hawaiian.

1:10:32 Caller He was like, oh, no.

1:10:37 Drew Then he went, we have good pot.

1:10:39 Caller No, I have good pot.

1:10:41 Adam It's like, OK, well, I'll take that as a yes. But he sent me some academia nuts.

1:10:46 Caller All right.

1:10:47 Adam I don't know what the hell this kid's problem is. Don't smoke so much weed.

1:10:50 Drew Yeah, that's his main problem.

1:10:51 Caller There you go.

1:10:52 Adam You get a little paranoid around the chicks.

1:10:54 Drew Yeah.

1:10:54 Adam All right. Fantastic. Right. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Tara's 18, pregnant. Doctor said it's better to smoke pot than cigarettes. They're in the pregnancy. She wants confirmation on this after this.

1:11:19 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Top Radio 100.7 The Buzz. The Love Between The Two Hosts It's talk radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:11:45 Caller Don Ho, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:51 Caller Mahalo.

1:11:54 Adam Smoke came out of his mouth when he said, uh. He hadn't even smoked weed in a week, it was just, uh. Just he was storing it in the marrow of his bone.

1:12:06 Caller Mahalo.

1:12:09 Adam There's a life. You remember the Don Ho show when you were a kid? You remember that show?

1:12:14 Drew Tiny Bubbles.

1:12:16 Caller Dabble in the bone makes me happy.

1:12:22 Adam And you remember the Don Ho show?

1:12:23 Drew She's too young.

1:12:24 Adam It was down on the beach.

1:12:25 Drew It was over by the time she was born.

1:12:27 Adam No, not true, because I used to watch that thing when I was like, I was like 11. And so I'm like five years older than Ann or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, because I'll be 30 in two years.

1:12:41 Best Of Two years old.

1:12:43 Adam And I'll tell you, low mileage at Ann. Clean living. Looks like she likes brand new. Like a car. It's never been taken out. Never taken out of the garage due to you. That's it.

1:12:55 Caller I'd be over.

1:12:55 Drew You'd die.

1:12:57 Adam Yeah. I'd die during birth.

1:12:58 Caller Yeah.

1:12:59 Caller Tara.

1:13:01 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:01 Adam You're 18.

1:13:02 Drew You're 18 and pregnant?

1:13:03 Best Of Yep. I'm 18. I'm pregnant.

1:13:06 Caller And, well, my doctor said that they'd rather me smoke weed than cigarettes.

1:13:11 Adam I understand. Can you turn down the radio or the television?

1:13:15 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:16 Drew Was he just...

1:13:17 Caller One second.

1:13:20 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:21 Caller And...

1:13:22 Drew Was he just sort of trying to make a point with you to get you to stop smoking cigarettes? That was you're not prone to smoking pop, but he's just trying to make a point with you?

1:13:29 Caller No. I mean, well, I used to smoke a lot of weed. I mean, but he said, well, because when you like, right before, because I'm gonna have the baby any day now. And he said, he read me so pop because cigarettes, I mean, it caused the baby to cry more because they're addicted to cigarettes, the nicotine or whatever. And he said that he read me smoke weed because...

1:13:48 Drew I don't know if the studies have been done on the pot yet. We know that nicotine is no good, but I don't think it's been studied with pot yet.

1:13:54 Caller What would you rather recommend for a pregnant woman if they smoke cigarettes?

1:13:57 Drew Like, you know, die by cyanide or beheading?

1:14:01 Adam He goes with heroin.

1:14:04 Drew I would rather you take heroin. I would rather you take heroin than either of those, frankly. I would rather you take opiates because even if you end up with an addicted baby, it doesn't hurt the development of the brain, and the addiction is very easy to treat in newborns. But the cigarettes cause low birth weight, the pot may cause some neurobehavioral problems, so those are two drugs that you really don't want to see.

1:14:26 Adam Well, you're going to give birth soon, right?

1:14:29 Caller Well, the due date is July 21st.

1:14:31 Drew Next week.

1:14:31 Caller Okay.

1:14:32 Adam Hey Tara?

1:14:33 Caller Yeah?

1:14:34 Adam Remember talking to you about turning down whatever was in the background?

1:14:37 Best Of Mm-hmm. It's down.

1:14:39 Adam Yeah, it's down, but I can still hear the talking. Watch, be quiet.

1:14:43 Caller Okay.

1:14:46 Adam Hey.

1:14:46 Drew We hear that.

1:14:47 Adam Do you hear it?

1:14:48 Drew Loud and clear.

1:14:49 Adam Hey, hey, Tardo. You're going to be a mom, you retard.

1:14:54 Caller Be nice.

1:14:54 Adam Jesus Christ. Oh, please, that kid should be should be raised by raccoons, so it has a fighting chance.

1:15:01 Caller Hey, my...

1:15:01 Adam You're going to be a horrible mother.

1:15:03 Caller I'm not going to...

1:15:04 Adam Oh, you're going to start drinking and smoking the second the kid comes out.

1:15:08 Caller Oh, you're right.

1:15:09 Adam Oh, yes, you are.

1:15:10 Caller I quit all...

1:15:11 Caller I mean, I didn't quit smoking, but I quit everything else.

1:15:14 Adam And you, please. Where's the father?

1:15:17 Caller He's right here, right next to me.

1:15:20 Adam How old is he?

1:15:21 Best Of He's 20, actually.

1:15:22 Caller He just turned 20.

1:15:23 Adam Has he got a good job?

1:15:24 Best Of Well, yeah, he's...

1:15:25 Caller Well, he's a card detailer.

1:15:27 Adam Oh, okay.

1:15:28 Best Of He's...

1:15:28 Best Of That's a...

1:15:29 Adam He's in demand. And is he going to hang around and raise this kid?

1:15:34 Caller Oh, totally. Yeah.

1:15:35 Adam All right. No more kids.

1:15:37 Caller No more kids?

1:15:38 Adam Give it a few years.

1:15:39 Caller Oh, well, yeah.

1:15:40 Caller I just want to get that anyways.

1:15:41 Adam All right. Fine.

1:15:42 Caller Okay.

1:15:43 Adam All right. So, you're just asking a hypothetical question.

1:15:46 Caller Yeah. But... So, you'd rather me do heroin than smoke weed and cigarettes?

1:15:49 Drew Not do heroin. Well, not... Not shoot anything. But in terms of how bad those two drugs are for you, opiates are probably less... less bad.

1:15:59 Adam Yeah.

1:16:00 Caller Okay.

1:16:01 Adam Jeff?

1:16:02 Yeah.

1:16:03 Adam You're 27.

1:16:04 Best Of Right.

1:16:05 So, did you guys hear what I was calling about?

1:16:09 Adam Well, there was some talk on the street. I initially heard it in Vegas. A couple of high rollers in the Baccarat room.

1:16:16 Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:18 Adam What is it? Baccarat? What is it?

1:16:20 Baccarat? It's Baccarat.

1:16:22 Adam With the T, right?

1:16:23 Yeah.

1:16:24 Adam Yeah, okay. I was right the first time.

1:16:26 So, basically about six months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. Oh, yes. And we sort of mutually broke up. Probably more her than me, I guess.

1:16:35 Adam I heard it was more you than her.

1:16:36 Yeah, well...

1:16:38 Adam Okay. Well, that's how I heard it.

1:16:43 So, we broke up and a little while before that, found out that she gave me herpes.

1:16:51 Drew Before you broke up?

1:16:52 Yeah, before we broke up.

1:16:53 Drew Did that have something to do with the breakup?

1:16:54 No. No, it didn't have anything to do with it. Yeah. But now, six months later, I'm still having a hard time getting over her, getting over the idea that someone's going to, you know, want to date me because I have herpes.

1:17:09 Drew To me, we'll not want to date you.

1:17:10 Right. Exactly.

1:17:12 Caller Yeah.

1:17:13 Adam Well, have you had some breakouts?

1:17:16 No. No. I mean, I've had one, and that was, I think, the first one that I really noticed and nothing else since then.

1:17:26 Adam All right. We're talking about genital? Yeah. Do you miss your girlfriend, your ex-girlfriend?

1:17:31 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.

1:17:33 Adam Yeah. What about getting back together with her?

1:17:37 Yeah. See, I don't. I really don't think she wants to do that. I think she's just kind of in a place in her life where she doesn't want to. It's not as convenient.

1:17:48 Adam Let me explain what that place is. Underneath a sweaty Italian guy. That's the place in her life.

1:17:57 Drew I love that. I don't think she's in a place in her life where she's really up for that kind of commitment. Oh, come on.

1:18:05 Adam Listen. He ain't into it. It's sad.

1:18:10 Drew He needs to, look, he needs to, he'll find somebody. Lots of people.

1:18:14 Adam Don't worry about it, Jeff.

1:18:15 Yeah, okay. Well, what, do you have any advice on how I can start to get over this or?

1:18:21 Drew Well, start dating.

1:18:23 Yeah.

1:18:23 Drew Okay.

1:18:24 Adam Can you do that?

1:18:25 Well, yeah, but I'm still, I'm having a problem feeling that, and I know this is myself, and I know she's not, she's not into dating me anymore, but I'm having a problem feeling like I'm worth.

1:18:37 Adam I know, I know. And women, he's 27. Women are so cruel. You got that stink on you. Yeah. That loser stink. Women, women smell that.

1:18:49 Drew It's the desperation stink. It's not the loser's stink, it's the desperation stink.

1:18:52 Adam Right, right. That's a different stink, yeah. In the same, in the same family, same phylum. But not, it is marginally different. Here's how it works. We've had this discussion before. Women see a guy who's been dumped on, who's a little bit desperate, who's a little bit needy, and forget it. They want nothing to do with them.

1:19:18 Drew Not men.

1:19:19 Adam Why? Why, you ask? Because of their cruel, cruel nature. That's the only explanation I can offer.

1:19:27 Drew See a woman that's been beaten up and down her life.

1:19:29 Adam Men are mature. We judge women on looks. We don't care what their disposition is. We don't care what their attitude is.

1:19:36 Drew Even absent any sort of special appeal, physically. A woman who's really been beaten up and is sort of down and downtrodden. Men behave like...

1:19:47 Adam Men behave...

1:19:48 Drew Hyenas.

1:19:49 Adam Yes.

1:19:50 Drew Yeah.

1:19:51 Adam Men are very pragmatic.

1:19:53 Drew Vultures.

1:19:54 Adam I mean it. Look at the animal world. Here's how the animal world works. There's a big, there's a big herd of wildebeest and they're crossing the Serengeti on the way to some watering hole. Do you think the lions go after the ones in the lead, the strong ones, the alpha males? No. Why? They're liable to get a gourd with a horn or ran over. No. There's a sick lame one who can't keep up with the pack. That's the one we pounce on.

1:20:26 Drew Women need to remember that for men, eating, sex, all that's about the same. Same drive, right?

1:20:31 Adam Yes. We want to make things as easy as possible on ourselves. Why wear ourselves out? You women, you see a guy, he may be attractive, he may have a good job, but if he's got that desperation stink on him, you want nothing to do with him. Something about him being rejected by somebody else.

1:20:51 Drew And you know, most guys, guys that have really solid self-esteem, either truly or sort of inflated, you know what I mean, false self-esteem, don't get that way. So, it's a way of sort of marking them for that.

1:21:04 Adam Well, they don't get that way because they don't get dumped that often either because...

1:21:08 Drew What they do, they kind of get on with it. They don't get so desperate.

1:21:10 Adam Right. All right.

1:21:12 Drew So, there's something adaptive to it.

1:21:14 Adam God knows I used to shower in that desperation, scent owed to desperation.

1:21:20 Drew Oh, man, do we have a bunch of questions.

1:21:22 Adam I got the...

1:21:23 Drew Shower. You were bathing in it.

1:21:24 Adam My parents didn't just get me the toilet water. They got me the whole gift basket. Soap, deodorant, spray on talcum. I had the whole thing going. Mouthwash. Oh, yes. Not anymore, sisters. I'll tell you that.

1:21:38 Drew We have some wild questions coming up here.

1:21:40 Adam All right, where are we? I'm going to talk to three here. Matt?

1:21:44 Yeah.

1:21:45 Adam You're 17?

1:21:46 Caller Yeah.

1:21:48 Caller What's going on?

1:21:48 Drew What's up?

1:21:50 Caller All right, you got my question?

1:21:51 Drew No.

1:21:51 Caller All right. Like, how big does, like, your penis have to be to give a girl an orgasm?

1:21:58 Drew No relationship. Well, most women, no relationship.

1:22:01 Adam Yeah. Unfortunately.

1:22:03 Drew Especially women your age tend not to have orgasm during intercourse, no matter what.

1:22:08 Caller Really?

1:22:08 Adam Yeah.

1:22:09 Caller Why is that?

1:22:11 Drew Well, no one knows for sure. It probably has something to do with the way the brain develops. It has a lot to do with how women experience themselves in their intimate relationships, in terms of the vulnerability and comfort they have, and the sort of understanding of how to get to that place with another person, and when they're there, their sexual responsiveness sort of happens automatically.

1:22:32 Adam And they withhold.

1:22:34 Caller Well, because I've given her one just not like with sex.

1:22:37 Adam That's right.

1:22:38 Drew Well, you're ahead of the curve.

1:22:39 Adam Way ahead.

1:22:40 Drew And many women, many women never have orgasm with sex.

1:22:45 Adam You're preaching to the choir.

1:22:46 Caller That blows, man, but...

1:22:48 Adam Yeah. That's all right, man. Don't worry about it.

1:22:53 Caller Well, and what about just smoking, make like the growing process stop or hurt it or anything?

1:23:00 Drew Smoking cigarettes or smoking pot? Pot. Growing of the penis?

1:23:04 Caller Yeah. Cannot like, cannot like standing up.

1:23:07 Drew No, there is some evidence recently about moderate pot smoking and stature and possibly lowering testosterone levels.

1:23:13 Adam Black men have the biggest penises and smoke the most weed.

1:23:16 Drew Yeah, but they don't, they're not in adolescence so much.

1:23:20 Adam Oh, please, please. It's not their mom, it's their aunt, by the way. How dare you imply that a black man is raised by his mother. No, it's the aunt who beats them. And yes, they start to weed early and they still have huge penises. That's, I've done some scientific work.

1:23:36 Drew Because of the wives still out there, that black males have larger penises.

1:23:39 Adam See, even the esteemed Dr. Drew agrees with me. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Patricia. Patricia is 18. If she has anal sex, will she still be a virgin? We'll tackle that very difficult issue after this.

1:24:00 Caller This is Love Line on outrageous talk radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:24:29 Adam We're Loveline, and I'm Corolla's backroom. Let me tell you something real quick. I was just telling Drew a story about a woman freaking out at the breakfast counter this morning in Vegas when I asked her if she could move over one chair so that me and my friend could sit together. She was just eating alone, and she got really weird and said, long silence, and then said, give me my space, back off, and give me my space.

1:24:52 Drew Did she move?

1:24:53 Adam Yeah, she moved.

1:24:54 Drew And then you had breakfast next to her? Was that weird?

1:24:56 Adam I told my buddy to sit next to her. I said, it went over.

1:24:58 Drew Was that weird?

1:25:00 Adam Yeah. Well, it was weird because after the back off, giving my space speech she gave us, I just went, hey, weirdo, stay where you are. You said that to her? Yeah. I don't care.

1:25:10 Drew You said that to her?

1:25:11 Adam Yes.

1:25:12 Drew Hey, weirdo, stay where you are?

1:25:13 Adam Yes. Well, listen, I mean, she spazzed hard. That's a damn lie. She went weird on us.

1:25:21 Drew Yeah.

1:25:21 Adam And then she slid over and had to sit next to her and eat breakfast. A weird thing. Total silence. Asked this woman to move over one chair. Total silence for a long time. And then told, said to back off and give her her space and that she would do it. But get out of her face, in other words. And getting out of her face, basically, I leaned over and just asked her if she could move over. The chair was really, really weird. But I was saying to my buddy, listen, people, they have such a strong internal monologue going in their life. They have no idea where they are. They don't know the difference between you and daddy, you and the boss, you and the husband, you and the whatever. And that's what the world is becoming. I was eating lunch with my grandma last week. I was telling her, she was telling me how she kicked my mom out of the house, and all these other exciting things. And my grandma is right in the middle of the speech where she was telling me about, I don't know, kicking mom out of the house or whatever it was. She was kind of in this impassioned speech. And the poor waiter came by with a big tumbler of iced tea or big pitcher of iced tea, and he said, Refills for you? Like right when she was leaning in and giving me this serious speech about, I don't know, getting raped or giving out.

1:26:39 Drew You blocked it.

1:26:40 Adam Abusive husbands or whatever. And the guy leaned over this pitcher of iced tea and he said, Anyone need a fill up? And she did this. She raised her finger and went, and kept going with the thing. And I said, Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1:26:54 Caller Sorry. Uh-oh. What is, oof, that's good.

1:27:00 Drew Is that intentional?

1:27:00 Adam That was in 2001. I said to, I said to my grandma, Hold on a second. No, thank you. We don't want any more iced tea. Sorry about that. And then I said to my grandma, Hey grandma, you're not at home. You gotta know where you are. Know where you are. I know you're in the middle of a speech, but you don't, the guys just come over to top off the iced tea. You can't yell at them to shut up and keep going with the speech. Yeah. People have a little difficulty, like the woman at the lunch counter today. And they're not quite know where they are or who they're dealing with, which is nobody, by the way. And they think it's some, they think it's their dad.

1:27:34 Drew Right.

1:27:35 Adam My grandma was most humiliated. I saw the guy come in and it was like, she was right in the middle of this thing and he leaned over like, how dare you? It's like, hey, hey, sorry, buddy. Yeah. Give us some more honesty.

1:27:49 Drew Patricia, 18.

1:27:50 Yeah.

1:27:51 Drew What's going on? Patricia.

1:27:54 Yeah.

1:27:54 Drew You have a question?

1:27:56 Best Of Yeah.

1:27:56 Caller I want to know that if I have, you know, sex in my soul virgin.

1:28:00 Adam Yes.

1:28:01 Best Of Yeah.

1:28:02 Adam Not technically, not technically, but in the eyes of God. Yeah.

1:28:05 Drew Let's think when they thought about the Virgin Mary. What do you think?

1:28:09 Adam Cornhole. All the way to the pasture where she gave birth.

1:28:15 Drew Okay. I bring that up only to make the point that, what did I say? No one would consider her.

1:28:21 Best Of A pastor?

1:28:22 Drew Manger.

1:28:23 Adam Oh, manger. Yeah.

1:28:24 Drew No one would consider her a virgin if she were engaging in that kind of activity.

1:28:28 Adam Yeah. What is a manger? A smaller pastor?

1:28:31 Drew No. Manger is a horse stable, like a place where animals stay.

1:28:35 Adam Yeah.

1:28:36 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:28:37 Adam The other is like a grass field.

1:28:39 Drew Yeah.

1:28:39 Adam Yeah. She wouldn't do that. All the way to the manger, she was cornhole.

1:28:42 Drew But Patricia, somewhere we've lost track of, people want to keep the virginity on technicality just sort of because. Virginia was meant, I think, to mean chastity. And it's sort of encouraged in people your age and younger because it's sort of healthy for you.

1:28:59 Caller Oh, who cares?

1:29:00 Adam And listen, you tards, just go get cornhole, who cares? Make up whatever fantasy you want. Call it life. All right?

1:29:09 Best Of Yeah.

1:29:10 Adam On the other hand, are you a religious gal?

1:29:12 Best Of Well, I'm Baptist.

1:29:15 Adam Oh, man. People can not answer questions. Right.

1:29:17 Caller So, yes?

1:29:19 Best Of It's just Christianity, so.

1:29:22 Drew Are you very religious?

1:29:23 Best Of No, not really.

1:29:24 Caller I don't go to church like every day.

1:29:26 Drew So why is this an important thing?

1:29:27 Adam You go to church every day?

1:29:29 Drew Don't go every day.

1:29:29 Best Of I don't.

1:29:30 Adam Oh, you don't go every day.

1:29:31 Best Of My parents are.

1:29:32 Drew They are. Okay. So that's where this creeps in.

1:29:34 Adam You got a boyfriend who you're serious about?

1:29:39 Drew Why don't you find a boyfriend you are serious about and then.

1:29:42 Adam Did you say no?

1:29:43 Drew Yeah. And a normal part of that relationship would be sexuality at your age, provided he's not too much older than you. And just let that develop. Don't be in a big hurry. I don't know. Something's going on with you, Patricia, in terms of why you're contemplating this. All right.

1:29:59 Adam But what, you know, Drew, I know you hate when I say this, but whatever happened to just chalking stuff up to good old-fashioned stupidity? You know what I mean? Like Patricia is stupid.

1:30:11 Caller She's an idiot.

1:30:12 Adam You know what I mean? Whether you're religious, whether your parents are leaning on you, whatever it is, there's no substitute for being stupid.

1:30:20 Drew I give people way too much that way.

1:30:22 Adam Listen.

1:30:23 Drew It's hard for me.

1:30:24 Adam I've told you this a thousand times.

1:30:26 Drew You seem much more in tune with the stupid.

1:30:28 Adam Smart people figure things out. That's kind of what makes them smart. Stupid people are ruled by weird rituals.

1:30:36 Caller Yeah.

1:30:37 Adam Stupid people look to sort of...

1:30:40 Drew Yeah. You know, there's a sort of a non-dissonant relationship between your cognition, what you're thinking, what you're figuring out, and your feelings.

1:30:50 Adam Right.

1:30:50 Drew There should be. And stupid people just to go on the feeling part.

1:30:55 Adam Right. Yeah. And if they want to do something, they'll work it out so that they can do it.

1:31:02 Drew Yeah.

1:31:03 Adam You know what I mean?

1:31:03 Drew Yeah. They'll just distort it.

1:31:06 Adam Josh?

1:31:07 Caller Yeah.

1:31:08 Adam What's up?

1:31:10 Caller How's it going, guys?

1:31:11 Adam Good.

1:31:11 Caller Listen, I have a weird question. Actually, my girlfriend asked me to call. I'm 20 years old and so is my girlfriend. She's still a virgin. And recently we started having oral sex. And when actually when it starts to feel really good for her or she's close to orgasm, she urinates.

1:31:30 Drew That's not an unheard of thing at all.

1:31:33 Caller And I've never I told her I've never met any other girls like that.

1:31:36 Drew No, it happens.

1:31:36 Caller I'm trying to be mean to her.

1:31:37 Drew No, it happens and it will probably be more.

1:31:39 Adam Josh, you're a virgin.

1:31:41 Caller No, I'm not. She is.

1:31:42 Adam Oh, I thought you were too. How many how many gals you've been with?

1:31:46 Best Of Probably five, six.

1:31:47 Caller I have a child on the way actually. And see, she's I'm in love with her. I'm totally in love with her. I'm really behind. She's really behind me with my baby and everything. But I was afraid to tell her and I called last week and I didn't get through. And I wanted to ask you how to tell her why. But finally it came out when we were camping on the 4th of July.

1:32:01 Drew I mean, she doesn't know she urinated?

1:32:02 Caller No, she didn't know until I told her. And now we're trying to figure out how she can not do it. She's tried to go to the bathroom before we did it and it didn't work.

1:32:10 Drew That she will tend to urinate. You sure it's not just, you sure it's urine?

1:32:14 Caller Oh, I'm 100% positive.

1:32:16 Adam Because it tastes like it?

1:32:17 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:32:17 Adam To go right in your mouth or where's it go?

1:32:19 Caller It has and then I've kind of changed the position to where it doesn't anymore.

1:32:22 Drew How do you know it's not just female ejaculation?

1:32:25 Adam Because it tastes like urine, smells like urine.

1:32:28 Caller No, because one time she was having an orgasm and she actually urinated everywhere.

1:32:32 Drew Yeah, but that's still maybe female ejaculation.

1:32:35 Caller No, it's not. It's 100% positive it's urine.

1:32:38 Adam Well, you know, it's urine because it comes from the clitoris, right?

1:32:41 Caller And it's really, really, really salty and it's just it's yellow. It's urine.

1:32:45 Drew All right. Yellow is good.

1:32:46 Adam Hey, Josh, but is there a way?

1:32:48 Caller Is there a way that you can not do this?

1:32:50 Drew Josh, Josh, Josh.

1:32:51 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:32:54 Adam Now, forget the question. I just want to say how many times I'd say your name.

1:32:56 Drew No, it's not something that she can control. It's a common thing. It's not. It'll probably be more pronounced when you're actually having intercourse. And some women do that important.

1:33:05 Adam The important thing is that she supports you and the mother of your child.

1:33:09 Caller No, she does. She's a really great person. But I'm wondering, is it going to happen like for the rest of our relationship?

1:33:14 Drew Yes.

1:33:15 Caller It'll never change?

1:33:16 Drew Most men, by the way, kind of...

1:33:18 Adam No.

1:33:18 Drew Most men like this.

1:33:19 Adam No, they don't.

1:33:21 Caller It really bothers me.

1:33:22 Drew No, they do because they've done something. They produce something.

1:33:24 Adam They like it once, maybe twice. Maybe when they're drunk. They don't like it day in and day out.

1:33:31 Drew There are medications that can help with spastic bladders.

1:33:33 Caller There is?

1:33:34 Drew Yeah. You can talk to a doctor. Try some things like Detrol or Dittrepan, that kind of thing. Okay.

1:33:38 Caller Okay. I was just wondering if there's like an exercise or something to do.

1:33:42 Drew Possibly the Kegel exercises. Amitriptyline sometimes helps women hold stuff in. But have her talk to her gynecologist about it, okay?

1:33:48 Caller Okay.

1:33:48 Adam Hey, when's your kid due?

1:33:50 Caller December 7th.

1:33:51 Adam All righty.

1:33:53 Caller Yeah.

1:33:53 Adam Was this an old girlfriend?

1:33:55 Caller It's my ex-girlfriend, yes. We broke up and then she told me she was pregnant.

1:33:59 Adam Oh boy.

1:34:00 Caller Yeah.

1:34:00 Adam All right, brother.

1:34:01 Caller Okay. Thanks, guys.

1:34:02 Adam Good luck to you there.

1:34:03 Caller Thank you.

1:34:04 Adam Listen, Drew. You with the all things women do should be accepted thing is borderline retard. This guy's getting a blast of urine in the face and mouth area each time he goes down on this woman. It's also... Something needs to be done and done in a hurry. And no, he shouldn't learn to live with it. No, he shouldn't enjoy. Oh, come on. You can't move out of the way. You don't know what's going on. You can't time it.

1:34:34 Drew The stuff that women ingest on behalf of your preferences.

1:34:38 Adam It ain't urine, and it's not ingested if you spit it into a potted plant. Now, she should take this medication.

1:34:46 Caller I don't think it's going to work.

1:34:47 Adam Oh, you don't think it's going to work?

1:34:49 Drew I think it's worth a try.

1:34:50 Adam I mean, you evacuate your system like that beforehand and you still can't hang it? I mean, don't you think a pill and some kegels maybe might work?

1:35:04 Drew I think that maybe it's because I'm a bit up to my eyeballs and people's secretions and things are working, you know, my pr-

1:35:12 Adam Not in the mouth, though.

1:35:13 Drew I know, but it's just-

1:35:15 Adam Listen, that's going to get old real fast, the blast of urine in the face and mouth area each and every time you're with your woman. Real fast. Real super fast. Reid?

1:35:29 Best Of Yeah.

1:35:29 Adam You're 19?

1:35:30 Best Of Yes, I am.

1:35:31 Adam You have a sore in the tip of your penis?

1:35:32 Best Of Yeah.

1:35:33 Drew Are you sexually active?

1:35:34 Caller No, I'm not.

1:35:36 Drew I don't know what it is. Somebody's got to look at it. Maybe just from rubbing against your pant or something.

1:35:40 Caller Well, it may be from masturbation.

1:35:43 Caller That's what I suspect.

1:35:44 Drew Okay. Well, it may be.

1:35:46 Adam Reid has one of those, I'm not sexually active voices.

1:35:50 Caller Well, I haven't been for a long time.

1:35:52 Drew How old were you when you were?

1:35:55 Caller Too young.

1:35:56 Drew Yeah. That's the voice I get.

1:35:58 Adam Oh, who did what to you when?

1:36:01 Caller It was a long time ago. I was about 13.

1:36:04 Adam 13? Who was it? Camp? Something at camp?

1:36:07 Best Of No, it was at school.

1:36:08 Drew More like 12?

1:36:10 Best Of Yeah, around there.

1:36:10 Drew Yeah, I'm thinking 11, actually.

1:36:13 Caller Wow.

1:36:14 Adam Well, hot Swedish chick.

1:36:15 Drew Was it sixth grade?

1:36:18 Best Of No, seventh grade.

1:36:19 Drew All right.

1:36:19 Adam Seventh grade.

1:36:20 Drew All right.

1:36:20 Adam What happened? Some guy?

1:36:22 Caller No, it was a girl.

1:36:23 Adam Oh, older girl?

1:36:26 Caller I think she was an eighth grader.

1:36:27 Best Of I don't know.

1:36:29 Caller I haven't seen her since then.

1:36:31 Adam She didn't take it. She took advantage of you?

1:36:34 Best Of No, it was more like a clumsy exploration.

1:36:36 Adam I see. All right. Well, listen, it's time to get back on the horse. You understand?

1:36:41 Best Of Yeah, but I don't want to get anyone pregnant right now.

1:36:44 Drew Don't worry you won't. Be careful.

1:36:46 Best Of All right. I'm not ready to be a father.

1:36:47 Drew Okay. Don't get so pregnant then.

1:36:52 Adam But he's sure is ready to be a nerd.

1:36:54 Caller I'll tell you that.

1:36:55 Adam All right, we'll take a break.

1:37:05 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

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Sunday, September 3, 2000