Episode 1000754887088

5:50 Voiceover Listener discretion. His advice. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline Coast to Coast.

6:05 Adam Hey, sorry about that, Anderson. Josh was talking about his dad who had a tuba tree. My dad has an oboe bush in front of his house, so touché. Josh Fries and Joe Escalante from The Vandals are here tonight. I've in all the years that The Vandals have been around, and I've not met them. I do not believe. Is that true, Drew?

6:29 Drew That's true.

6:29 Adam Thank you.

6:30 The Vandals You've met 50% of them now.

6:32 Adam Although The Vandals have been on this show just not while I was here. What year are we in with The Vandals?

6:39 The Vandals This version is about almost 11 years, so since Josh joined the band. Before that, there was a dark period of Globetrotter-like rotation.

6:49 Adam Right. But originally, when did The Vandals...

6:52 The Vandals 1961.

6:53 Adam 1908.

6:55 The Vandals That was like 82 or 83. They put out our first record on Epitaph.

7:00 Adam Oh my God.

7:01 The Vandals It went through many dark incarnations, and now it's crazy.

7:08 Adam And what number CD is this? Look what I almost stepped in. The new Vandals CD.

7:13 The Vandals 10, I think.

7:14 The Vandals I think it's 8 if you don't count the live albums and the EP.

7:17 Adam Oh, I count those.

7:19 The Vandals Then it's not 10.

7:20 Adam 64. The Vandals are going to be at the fabulous Hollywood Palladium coming up this Friday, although it is sold out, right?

7:27 The Vandals Yes.

7:28 Adam So on one hand, I like to mention it because it sounds cool. On the other hand, it's sort of pointless that it's sold out. Sold out. But when a show is sold out, can you still go down there? I mean, can you still go try to get tickets? Is it still worth a shot?

7:42 Drew No.

7:43 Adam It isn't?

7:44 The Vandals If you're somebody, you know, but if you're if or if you want to pay a scalper.

7:48 Adam Yeah, that's what I mean. I know guys who have been to World Series games, just four or five guys who just drove down to San Diego and just, you know, you just buy tickets. You just go, you pay whatever tickets. Yeah.

7:59 The Vandals Yeah, that'll work.

7:59 Adam So if you're a diehard Vandals fan, you don't have tickets, you can still go down to Palladium Friday as long as you bring your ATM card.

8:06 The Vandals Or you find Josh in the parking lot before the show. Give me 50 bucks and I'll open up the back door.

8:10 Adam That's right. So he's going to need a little reach around for the for the effort. Yeah, Drew, you got the same policy with that one.

8:16 Drew For the trouble, yeah.

8:17 Adam A little something for the effort. All right, we will hear something off the Vandals new CD and talk more about Josh and his... What we were talking about before the show started is Josh's father plays... He's a tuba soloist, which I found funny because I didn't... I don't hear too many...

8:33 He used to be on Hi-Ha.

8:35 Adam He played the tuba on Hi-Ha?

8:36 The Vandals He played the tuba on Hi-Ha. He did... Yeah, there you go. Thank you very much, Joe. He went on there as not in the band, you know?

8:47 Adam Yeah, because they didn't have a tuba in the regular band.

8:49 The Vandals He had this gimmicky thing where he came out, played like a country song and sang lead, and when it came time for a solo, where there would normally be like pedal steel or... Yeah, or chicken picking on the guitar. It would be a tuba solo. And the people that watched that show and the whole, like, you know, premise of the show was so hokey in the first place that people loved it. And my dad is such a freaky ham, you know, I was like, that they just dug it.

9:14 Drew That's when TV was TV. You could put a couple of pads and lead to it.

9:17 The Vandals But they worked him into it. Like, he went on there as just like a one-time artist.

9:20 Drew Put guys in overalls and a banjo and you have a 15-year run.

9:23 Adam That's right.

9:24 The Vandals They invited him back for like eight more episodes. He was on like a whole season.

9:27 Adam The only tuba solo I'm aware of is he.

9:29 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

9:34 Adam Is there more than just that riff? I mean, could he do songs that you could he do like Anaconda DeVita on a tuba?

9:40 The Vandals Totally.

9:40 The Vandals Every time I go to Disneyland and he's like, he could do Eruption on the tuba. Yeah, he'll be playing the tuba or whatever and then he'll like, he'll bust into a Vandal song or whatever.

9:48 The Vandals Oh my God.

9:49 The Vandals That's his big joke is, oh, I'm going to play Anarchy Burger next.

9:53 The Vandals There's a bunch of old people in the audience at Carnation Plaza going, what did he just say? Then we're laughing in the back and he kind of gives us a wink.

9:59 Adam Is he a fat guy?

10:01 Adam How did he get into the tuba? I thought only fat guys got into the tuba.

10:04 The Vandals He was on the Lawrence Wolk Show when he was about 13 years old. That is super zor. He did a tuba solo for ex-president Nixon.

10:14 Adam The funny thing is tuba solo just sounds funny. Just tuba and solo.

10:19 Drew Remember Dr. Mento used to have dueling tubas? Yeah.

10:24 The Vandals He'll let you know how funny it is too. He thinks it's funny too.

10:26 Adam And so we have a newspaper article with pictures of Josh's dad and the tubas that are hanging from the tree outside Josh's house. Oh my God. It must be great to have a character for a dad.

10:39 The Vandals It is.

10:39 Adam Yeah. Drew, your dad's very boring, isn't he?

10:41 Drew Isn't yours? Everybody's dad is.

10:43 Adam Yeah. My dad's comatose, but your dad's...

10:45 Drew Think about what my kids have.

10:47 The Vandals My dad's house blows that thing away. My dad's house is purple with three stripes of purple and seagulls paint on it in Signal Hill, and the neighbors have been trying to get rid of him.

10:57 Adam Really? Wow. You guys both have whacked out parents, but not bad whacked out parents. I think they're Napoleon Nutty parents.

11:05 The Vandals My dad's got this $25,000 Harley-Davidson, and he had this artist do, seeing that he's worked at Disney for 30 years, conducting the band out there and hiring all the entertainment. On the gas tank, had all the Disneyland characters painted playing band instruments, like Pluto playing the clarinet, Mickey Mouse playing the xylophone. And then he was wondering why no one would buy it. He was trying to sell it. He was thinking like motorcycle shows. I go, dad, it's not very biker like to have Minnie Mouse playing the saxophone and Goofy playing the trombone on the saxophone.

11:35 Adam Yeah, it's not as butch as a lot of the guys would like. Yeah, they're more, you know what they like? They like the grim reaper on a chariot rather than Pluto playing the xylophone, right. All right, Drew, you ready to rock here?

11:48 Drew Yeah, let's go.

11:49 Adam All right, no reading the paper.

11:51 Drew Well, I'm just reading that he's been an international tourer.

11:54 The Vandals Yes.

11:54 Drew He's toured internationally.

11:55 The Vandals That is no lie.

11:56 Drew The tuba player.

11:56 Adam Well, they love the tuba in other countries.

11:58 The Vandals Oh, truth hurts.

11:58 Drew Yeah, in Lichtenstein.

11:59 Adam Germany?

12:00 Drew Yeah, of course.

12:01 Adam They love the tuba.

12:02 The Vandals Red China.

12:03 The Vandals Selena had a lot of tuba on her record, too.

12:05 Adam He probably gets a lot of tail in All Kinds. Parts Unknown because of that tuba of his.

12:10 The Vandals All Kinds.

12:11 Adam And how do you travel with the tuba, by the way? Do you have to send it on its own plane?

12:15 The Vandals He has a tuba tech that travels with it. Oh my God.

12:19 Adam Or do you just wear it on your head when you walk through the airport? Okay, like a big seashell. Oh my God.

12:26 The Vandals He plays the tuba.

12:27 Adam Lisa?

12:28 Hi.

12:29 Adam You're 18. What's up?

12:31 Caller Not much.

12:32 Adam What do you want then?

12:33 Caller Well, I was just wondering. I've always heard the term popping your cherry.

12:36 Drew Right.

12:37 Caller And we've always known that it has something to do with you bleeding.

12:40 Drew No, no, no, no, no. It's rupturing the hymen.

12:43 Caller A what?

12:43 Adam Well, there's blood there, Drew.

12:44 Drew Yeah, but I mean, it's not where the popping cherry has anything referenced that. And there isn't necessarily bleeding.

12:49 Adam It means taking one's virginity, rupturing the hymen.

12:53 Caller Does that always happen?

12:55 Drew No, sometimes the hymen's already gone. Yeah.

12:57 Caller Oh, and if it doesn't, when does it usually happen? If it does at the time of first intercourse, if it hasn't happened within the first couple of times, it won't happen.

13:07 Drew It's already happened.

13:10 Caller Do you notice when it happens or do I just miss it or what?

13:13 Drew You are so confused.

13:14 Adam Sometimes, if you have the stereo up loud, you don't hear the sound that it makes when it pops. Could that have been it? Thank you. I didn't want to put my finger in my mouth because it was in my ass like 10 minutes ago. Lisa?

13:26 Caller Yeah.

13:27 Adam So you're not a virgin?

13:29 Caller No.

13:29 Drew Yeah, but you seem so confused about your anatomy that's disturbing to me when people are sexually active but don't even know what the parts are.

13:36 The Vandals What's up with that?

13:37 Drew Yeah. Before you have intercourse, and usually before the age of 18, there's a membrane across the vagina, okay? If you look in there, it looks red and shiny. It's a shine that has a reflection back, looks like a cherry potentially.

13:49 Adam Oh, really? I've never seen one. I almost have enough money to buy a virgin.

13:57 Drew And it's going.

13:58 Adam I'm going to do that soon.

13:59 The Vandals Let's all pitch in.

14:00 Drew I've never had a virgin. It ruptures as you grow old or it ruptures like when you fall off a whole bike and or intercourse. And there's sometimes bleeding and sometimes discomfort with it.

14:10 The Vandals I married a virgin and I can tell you.

14:11 The Vandals Did you?

14:12 The Vandals There was no popping sound on my wedding night.

14:13 The Vandals True story.

14:14 The Vandals Wow. But it was.

14:16 The Vandals Because you didn't have sex on your wedding night. But there was pain.

14:17 The Vandals It was a couple of weeks later when she finally let me do it.

14:20 Adam That's great. How old were you?

14:22 The Vandals I was 33 and she was 22.

14:24 The Vandals How cool is that?

14:25 Adam She was a virgin.

14:26 The Vandals Yeah, we're still married.

14:27 Adam That's awesome.

14:27 The Vandals That's what she said.

14:28 The Vandals You hang on to those ones because you know you're not going to find another one.

14:30 Drew That was three weeks ago. Unacceptable.

14:33 Adam Wow.

14:34 Drew Now it's not unacceptable.

14:35 Adam I like that. There's something sort of romantic about that.

14:39 Drew There are people now. Rabbi Shmuley was making this case too and I've around the country in the college scene talked to young people who claim that by waiting till, saving their virginity till marriage, they create some sort of special bond. There's a specialness to the bond that you don't create either way.

14:55 Adam Well, there is for the chick.

14:57 The Vandals Well, for the guy too because you go through some rough times and you're like you know you don't want to throw that down the drain for her. It gives you one more.

15:04 Adam Well, yeah, but I mean it depends. You mean if both of you are virgins? I mean we know a lot of women, for instance, have a little bit of a fantasy about staying with the guy they lose their virginity to. We talk to them, a lot of them every night. They're 16 or 17. They lost their virginity to the guy a year and a half ago. The thing's been over for a year and four months. They always say, yeah, but I lost my virginity to him. They want to hang with him.

15:28 Drew I love him, right. He was my first, I love him.

15:31 The Vandals He's going, get me out of here.

15:33 The Vandals That's why I got my wife on the string. She's not going anywhere.

15:36 Adam Genius. Yeah. And it's the biggest penis she's ever seen.

15:41 The Vandals How true that is.

15:43 The Vandals How true we hope that is.

15:44 Adam Ed, you're 14.

15:46 Caller Yeah. I actually made up my question, but I just wanted to know if I could come in to the studio and watch the show.

15:53 Adam Yeah.

15:54 Caller Would I have to wait out?

15:57 Drew Unacceptable. Well, you're 14.

15:59 Adam Would you have to wait where?

16:00 Caller Well, I have to wait like outside or?

16:02 Adam No. You come on in. Bring a weapon of some sort.

16:06 The Vandals Bring a virgin.

16:07 Drew How we know it's Ed?

16:08 Caller Yeah.

16:09 Adam How do we know it's you? Let's have a little password.

16:12 The Vandals Because he'll be a liar.

16:13 Caller Actually, I saw you before at the museum. You gave me the autograph.

16:17 Drew This is your friend. You called us with something else too, right?

16:20 Caller Yeah. About the time.

16:21 Adam Ed, did I talk to your brother?

16:23 Drew Yeah.

16:23 Caller You did on the cell phone.

16:24 Adam In college?

16:25 Caller Yeah. He actually wanted to know if you were going to be talking at Santa Cruz. He still sort of wants to know.

16:31 Adam Okay.

16:32 Drew Not unless they invite us.

16:33 Adam Well, Ed, you can come out here. You're okay. Although I don't like 14 year olds with cell phones. It makes me jealous. I had a Campbell's can with a piece of yarn on the other end of it. I had to use at 14.

16:43 Caller Can you give me the address?

16:45 Drew You're gay.

16:46 Adam We'll put you on hold and you can come over here.

16:48 The Vandals Sorry.

16:49 Adam How's he getting over here?

16:50 The Vandals Yes, you are, brother.

16:52 Adam Hey, Drew, speaking of good celebrities, I called the woman who sent the basket today.

16:57 Drew Good for you.

16:58 Adam Yeah. I told her you wouldn't be hearing from Drew.

17:02 Drew Look at this.

17:03 Adam I got a long-

17:04 Drew I brought her-

17:05 Adam You brought her what? How dare you? You didn't call her though, did you?

17:09 Drew I was thinking about it.

17:09 The Vandals What's that all about?

17:11 Adam We got a big- We got two 70-pound baskets from this woman who lives in-

17:17 Drew And I know why you called.

17:18 Adam Or Kentucky.

17:19 Drew Because the same reason this is in my pocket. When you dismantled the thing, hell, the goddamn grocery store in there.

17:24 Adam Let me tell you something. The Mexicans went nuts at the house I'm building when I ripped that thing apart. It was like blowing up a pinata. All of a sudden, it was like I was in prison. Yeah, I was like, hey, cookies and beer. I was throwing the popcorn balls at all of them. It was great.

17:40 Drew It was a magnificent-

17:42 Adam I'll tell you, I know this may sound racist or something, but you work with six or seven Mexican guys, it's like every extra bit of anything I get, I bring it right to the job. I'm building a house, and it's like Christmas every day. I got some T-shirts, some bands, some CD, something. I cleaned out my entire closet, pulled out every extra T-shirt, about 25 T-shirts and 25 hats over there, and threw them out to these guys, and they were like diving for them.

18:09 Drew Did she tell you how to pronounce her last name, by the way?

18:11 Adam No, I had no idea, but I called her at home.

18:14 The Vandals Do you have anything I can have? I'm Mexican.

18:16 Adam You're Mexican? I'll bring you a T-shirt.

18:18 The Vandals Thank you.

18:19 Adam These guys went crazy. But it was funny, once in a while, I saw one I liked, and I was like, I need this one back.

18:26 Drew There was a beautiful...

18:28 Adam Let me tell you something. I called her at home.

18:31 Drew After you took it apart, you really saw what you had there.

18:33 Adam I brought her number home, and I was going to call her anyway. Even if it was filled with the elephant crap, I would have called her.

18:38 The Vandals Why is this lady sitting...

18:39 Adam I have no idea.

18:40 Drew But it was like she spent about a month of work on this basket.

18:43 Adam She doesn't have a great life, I don't think. But it was one of these things where I was talking to her. You start going down that road like you don't necessarily want to go down when you get into that conversation with somebody.

18:53 The Vandals You mean the phone sex road?

18:54 Adam Well, no. Kind of the sad road. Like where you go, you go, hey, what's... She's going, yeah, I'm working the third shift. Where you working? She's working at the market. It's a supermarket. That's cool. Yeah, that's fine. You do it. It's a transition thing. How old are you? 32. And it's like, you go, oh yeah, yeah, that's all right. Then you go, what's the deal? Are you married or where are you living? I'm living at home. You know, and you're going...

19:19 The Vandals Sounds like our singer.

19:21 Adam It's like, it starts getting a little dicey.

19:23 Drew Isn't it interesting how that's the really sweet, incredibly nice person.

19:27 Adam Yes, yes. Nice people live at home and aren't married. The point is, is she sent us a lovely basket. I told her she'd not be hearing from you.

19:34 Drew I'll call her.

19:35 Adam But maybe you would have one of your seconds call her.

19:38 Drew Hey, I'm carrying her number now with me.

19:40 Adam Yes, but I have done the dialing already. Thank you very much. All right. Where are we here? Thank you, Matt. You're 16.

19:47 Caller What's up? Before I ask my question, I just want to say a few things. First off, I love the Vandals. Totally a huge fan.

19:55 The Vandals Thank you.

19:56 Caller And is Adam, you named me the Israeli Commando a long time ago. I don't know if you remember.

20:02 Adam Yeah, I do remember you. I said that there were two Jews, Super Wimpy or Super Crazy Commando. No in between.

20:10 Drew Oh, I remember him. Do you have one of these by the way?

20:12 Adam Super Wussy Jew, Super Commando, Kill You With Piano Wire Jew. No in between.

20:18 Drew But you had a girlfriend problem and you were going away or wasn't it?

20:22 Adam I did.

20:23 Drew Yeah, Matt was going to join the Israeli Special Forces or something.

20:29 Caller Well, I haven't graduated high school yet, so I don't have to wait. Right. Also, before I ask my question, Adam, I wanted to know, in my boxing league here, we have to use 10-ounce gloves.

20:39 Adam Yeah.

20:40 Caller And they're kind of cumbersome. What kind did you use when you were boxing?

20:43 Adam Boring. How many ounce?

20:45 Caller Yeah.

20:46 Adam Well, you shouldn't be sparring with 10-ounce gloves.

20:48 Caller No, it's not for sparring. It's for league matches.

20:51 Adam Oh. 10 ounces is a light glove.

20:55 Caller Yeah.

20:56 Adam Yeah. Cumbersome means big and heavy.

20:58 Caller I understand that, sir.

21:00 Adam 10. OK. I know you understand it.

21:03 Caller No, but I know. But before we used to the like the 8-ounce for sparring.

21:07 Adam Yeah, you shouldn't use 8-ounce for sparring. You should use 16-ounce for sparring. All right.

21:11 Drew I'm going to kill somebody.

21:12 Adam You kill somebody. Yeah. You don't use 10-ounce.

21:14 Drew This is the commando. I see.

21:16 Caller I've got hands already. So I like the...

21:18 Adam Listen, Ringside makes very good stuff. I enjoy their products. Thank you.

21:23 Drew Those Mexican maids?

21:25 Adam No.

21:25 Drew What?

21:25 Adam Reyes is Mexican. And I don't like those Mexican gloves because you can feel the knuckles. You know what? Mexican boxing gloves have all the padding in the wrist and not in the knuckle. They're like flat. They don't have much padding around the knuckles.

21:38 Drew I thought you said that's the one thing they really made great product.

21:41 Adam Mexicans?

21:41 Drew Yeah. Gloves.

21:43 Adam They make good boxing equipment.

21:44 Drew Yeah.

21:44 Adam But I wouldn't want to use... Their Mexican-style boxing gloves are painful. OK. Matt?

21:49 Caller Yes, sir.

21:50 Adam OK. Are we done with you or are we going to talk more about boxing gloves?

21:53 Caller My real question was I had a, like a sexual encounter with one of my coworkers about two weeks ago.

22:01 Drew Where do you work? What kind of place?

22:03 Caller I work at a homeless advocacy group.

22:07 Adam Great. So what'd she do? Just passed out on some cheap wine and you just had your way with her?

22:12 Caller No, no, sir. I invited her over to my house to work on a fundraising thing.

22:17 Adam Right.

22:17 Caller We're working on a...

22:18 Adam Wouldn't it be fun to raise my penis? Is that how it works?

22:22 Caller That wasn't the plan.

22:23 The Vandals I like dating homeless women because you can drop them off anywhere.

22:26 Adam Right. It's like, yeah, you open the front door, they're home. All you got to do is kick them out. All you can do is get them on the lawn, they're home.

22:33 Caller Round trip.

22:35 Drew What's the question?

22:36 Adam Let's see. Which dumpster you want me to pick you up at?

22:38 Drew The question is...

22:39 Caller The question is, after this, after we had our little thing, she's not talking to me and I called her up.

22:47 Drew How old is she? She's 18. Is she embarrassed, do you think?

22:52 Caller I don't know.

22:53 Drew I don't think so. She didn't intend to have this happen? Does she have a boyfriend?

22:56 Caller No. Not that I know of, at least.

22:58 Drew Do you like her?

22:59 Caller I like her a lot.

23:00 Drew Why don't you send her some note letting her know that? I think she thinks this is some sort of a...

23:05 Caller Well, I mean, I sent her emails and I left a message. I left several messages on her.

23:09 Drew If she's really humiliated for whatever reason, she may not be reading these things. You've got to get her a message.

23:14 Adam Send her a gift shopping cart filled with sternum.

23:17 Drew Do you have a mutual friend? Yeah.

23:20 Caller I mean, I don't want to let anyone at work know.

23:22 Drew Yeah, but you can tell the mutual friend how much you really think of her and you really want to communicate with her.

23:26 Adam Let me make my second Jewish observation. The bar mitzvah is always funny to me because no one is less a man than a 13-year-old Jewish kid. They got the braces and the hair. They put the yarmulke on. They almost fall over. It's too heavy for their head. Like I've seen... You want to know the funniest thing in the world? Every one of my friends is proudly between the age of let's say 33 and 37. Any one of them who is Jewish had the bar mitzvah. You take a look at their bar mitzvah pictures. You're talking about 1976, 1975, 1977. I'm talking about ruffles. I'm talking about huge kinky Jewish hair combed over to the side with some braces. I mean, you want to take a look at my buddy Nate Wittenberg's bar mitzvah shots. It's ruffles and brown crushed velvet. And then you see the pictures of the aunts and the moms and everybody. Oh, it is priceless. But no less a man than a Jew at 13 years old, except for one out of every hundred.

24:25 Drew The commando.

24:26 Adam Super commando Jew.

24:28 Drew Matt is 16. He sounds 48.

24:29 Adam Matt is 16. He's working with the homeless. He's going back to Israel to fight the holy war. He's coming back there in the summer. He's studying. He's bangling homeless chicks on his nights off.

24:39 The Vandals You know, the opening band on Fridays from Israel.

24:43 Adam Now, are they the super Jew or the super commando Jew or the wimpy Jew?

24:48 The Vandals What do you think, Josh?

24:48 Adam I'm saying they can be part half and half.

24:51 The Vandals I'm saying half and half.

24:52 The Vandals I'm saying wimpy love songs.

24:53 Adam Wimpy love songs. There's no super commando Jew within the Green Beret in there.

24:57 The Vandals No, but they're good. The songs, you know, they're hits. All of them.

25:00 The Vandals They're called Abraham Bar Mitzvah Woods. It's the name of the band.

25:03 The Vandals It's called Useless ID.

25:05 The Vandals Sorry, Useless ID.

25:06 Adam Toby?

25:08 Caller Yes.

25:08 Adam You're 22.

25:10 Caller Not meds. I got a question.

25:12 Adam Yeah, okay, babe. What's up?

25:14 Caller I started drinking when I turned 18. Now I'm drinking all the hard stuff and I quit before I turned 19. I'm 22 now. Occasionally I'll have a drink, but I don't drink it at home. My face starts to turn purple.

25:27 Adam When you drink?

25:28 Drew Are you on a medication? Well, there is a chemical called a set aldehyde that accumulates that gives a flush. Also some nausea sometimes with that, but usually that is something that you're sort of born with, is a deficiency of the enzyme that allows that chemical to accumulate.

25:45 Adam What's your nationality? Caucasians.

25:48 Drew Because Asians have that.

25:50 Adam Yeah.

25:50 Drew And I wonder if you hurt yourself. It doesn't make sense to even hurt if you hurt your liver.

25:55 Adam Asians don't have a boozing gene in them?

25:58 Drew They have that.

25:59 Adam Like an anti-booze gene?

26:00 Drew They have an anti-booze gene.

26:02 Adam But they have a pro-opium gene, right?

26:04 Drew Well, they have addiction genes.

26:05 Adam They have addiction genes. But it's usually like rhino horns and stuff, right? It's not like booze, right?

26:10 Drew It's not booze because they have to learn to drink past the booze.

26:14 Adam I think I would have made a good Asian except for the math and the chain-smoking. Yeah, I think I could have worked past.

26:20 The Vandals Sushi chain-smoking and boozing.

26:21 Adam They didn't get a good hand belt to them, but they worked past it, right? They drink through it.

26:26 Drew I just don't see where the humility and the discipline and all those things would have worked with you.

26:30 Adam Yeah, I'd make a good Asian. I'd make the Asian the guy, the barker out front of the sex show Asian, not the good Asian.

26:38 Drew The dirtball.

26:39 Adam Not the guy rides the bike to work for 65 hours. More the guy in the leather jacket, the chain smoking and yelling at the round-eye military guys out front of the sex show.

26:50 The Vandals Exactly.

26:51 Adam I think that would have been my calling as an Asian.

26:53 The Vandals Good morning, Vietnam Asian.

26:54 Adam Yeah. Don't be fun. We should all sit back, go through all the nationalities and try to figure out what sort of stereotypical, Let's think about the Polos next. one of them would be. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if I was a Mexican guy, I'd be the one leaning against the cactus with the sombrero leaning in front of my head.

27:11 Drew Eternally.

27:12 Adam The napping.

27:13 Drew That's you.

27:13 Adam That I could see myself doing. Yeah.

27:15 Drew You'd have a big poncho of you though.

27:17 Adam A big poncho.

27:17 Drew So you could reach your junk periodically.

27:19 Adam Bottles of tequila.

27:20 Drew You're napping and you have to be able to masturbate.

27:23 Adam Hand down the poncho.

27:24 Drew Yeah, right.

27:24 The Vandals How about the cowboy Mexican, when you dress up like a cowboy on Sundays?

27:27 The Vandals Cowboy Mexican's bold, yeah.

27:28 Adam Cowboy me? Yeah, but it's a little active. That involves work.

27:30 Drew It's a work, it's a work.

27:32 The Vandals When I found out I was a Mexican, I learned to fight bulls. And that's a true story. True story, yeah, I fought.

27:37 The Vandals Hence this whole practice.

27:39 Adam Yeah, I want to get into that.

27:40 The Vandals I've killed two bulls so far.

27:41 Wow.

27:43 The Vandals He's not lying.

27:43 The Vandals Not lying.

27:44 Adam How do you kill them? Do you stick that thing in the back of their neck?

27:47 The Vandals Yeah, between the shoulders.

27:49 Adam All right, hold on a second, Toby. I have something more interesting in this.

27:52 You've killed bulls.

27:54 Caller Does that kill them, sticking that thing in there?

27:56 The Vandals One out of 60 die just from that, but usually they wobble around for a little while, they fall over, and then this other guy comes out with a knife and shoots him in the head, something I call the fun stick, and he gets him like in the spine.

28:10 Adam One out of 60.

28:12 The Vandals Yeah.

28:12 Drew Why is it just one out of 60?

28:14 The Vandals It's like almost a perfect game if he just keels over from the initial sword.

28:20 Drew Isn't the idea to try to get to his heart that way?

28:23 The Vandals Yeah. Well, they go through the aorta between the shoulder blades, and then he'll die eventually, but he doesn't go right away. So while the matador is getting his props from the crowd, one of his posse comes up and gives a little gouge in the spinal cord just to make it go real fast.

28:39 Adam I thought the sword between the shoulder blades was to help keep the head down.

28:44 Caller Is that true?

28:46 The Vandals You want the head down. It is true. You want it down.

28:48 Adam Does the sword benefit or aid in that?

28:51 The Vandals No. You got that red thing, the muletta. You're making them put the head down with that, and then on your right hand over here is the sword.

29:00 Adam What's the muletta do? What's that do?

29:02 The Vandals It's the red target.

29:03 Adam That's what he's following.

29:05 Drew That's the towel.

29:08 The Vandals That's what these guys call it. He's like a cat. Follow this. It's fun. Follow this. It's fun. Then when he realizes it's more fun to get you, that's when you got to kill him.

29:18 Adam I thought, don't you got to go to Spain to do that?

29:21 The Vandals That's what I thought until a couple years ago. I went to this bullfight school in San Diego.

29:25 Drew Really?

29:26 Adam When you found out you couldn't just train cox to fight or something? You couldn't get in touch with your...

29:32 Drew Bullfight school in San Diego?

29:33 The Vandals Yeah, bullfightschool.com.

29:34 Drew I can't believe the animal rights people haven't gotten in there.

29:36 The Vandals Oh, they do. They do. They're all over this guy. bullfightschool.com.

29:40 Adam What do they do with the bulls when they're done?

29:43 The Vandals The myth is that they would throw it away. Do you know one third world country in the world where they'd throw away a...

29:48 The Vandals They give it to the Mexicans?

29:50 The Vandals Yeah, there's people there that haven't even ever tried beef. Everyone eats it.

29:53 Adam It's great. Right. Well, in India, when they have those bullfights, they...

29:56 The Vandals Yeah, the flies come out.

29:57 Adam But wait a minute, so...

29:58 The Vandals Dogfights.

29:59 Adam You've killed two bulls. Have you ever been injured?

30:01 The Vandals Yeah, I get injured every time.

30:03 Adam How? They catch you?

30:04 The Vandals I get mostly just getting tossed. The ones I fight, the biggest one I fought was 500 pounds. And they'll toss you up in the air and then you land, you know, and you get sore or they get you right on your knees on the side.

30:16 Adam Right.

30:16 The Vandals But I haven't been gored.

30:18 Adam You haven't? No. Do you wear the outfit with the hat and the cape? I mean the vest and everything.

30:23 The Vandals It's an amateur outfit that you don't wear the shiny gold.

30:26 Drew You do it in this state, this country?

30:29 The Vandals No, I do it mostly in, I've killed one in Tecate and one in San Felipe.

30:33 Drew You did it in front of an audience?

30:35 The Vandals The last one I did was in front of an audience. People paid like $7 each for the next three people.

30:41 Adam To see me.

30:42 The Vandals That's how sad the whole roster of bullfighters are in the amateur level.

30:46 Adam The one in Tecate was in his car, I mean, let's be fair.

30:49 The Vandals You didn't get to play a set out for Richard.

30:51 The Vandals I had to sit down and watch a flamenco dance afterwards.

30:54 Adam You can't wear the gold outfit if you're an amateur. You wear the...

30:59 The Vandals I have a green corduroy thing.

31:00 Drew The rodeo clown.

31:02 The Vandals Duke cut off Levi shorts.

31:04 Adam How about wearing a pair of shorts, some cleats and some elbow pads?

31:08 The Vandals Parachute pants.

31:10 Adam In a hockey helmet.

31:11 The Vandals Even if you're discovered wearing a cup, you're a woman. I see.

31:17 Adam I see.

31:18 The Vandals Boy.

31:18 Adam Well, I'd...

31:19 The Vandals And you can still fight if you're a woman.

31:21 Adam I'd like any sport where they test for NARD protection.

31:24 Caller You're a coward!

31:25 The Vandals No, the pants are so tight, it's really easy to tell.

31:27 Caller All right.

31:29 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. The Vandals are here. We'll hear something from them when we come back after this.

31:44 Caller Love Line Tonight is brought to you with a little love by Car Toys and the Cobalt Lounge.

31:53 Caller Who are these two people?

31:54 What makes, what makes them tick?

31:59 Caller This is the New Rock Alternative 370 NRK.

32:08 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Perola. That is Dr. Perou over there. I don't know what that was.

32:15 The Vandals I'm shutting my cell phone off.

32:16 Adam The legendary Vandals are here tonight. They're going to be at the Palladium coming up this Friday. It's sold out. But if you're really desperate, you can probably go down there and bring some money and get some tickets anyway.

32:25 The Vandals I'll hook you up.

32:26 Adam Josh and Joe are both here. And the phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

32:33 Drew The new CD is called Look What I Almost Stepped In. And in honor of that, we have an interesting question coming up here.

32:38 Adam All right. Are we going there now?

32:39 Drew Yeah.

32:40 Adam Beth?

32:41 Caller Oh, yeah?

32:41 Drew What's up?

32:42 Caller I want to tell the band that I love them. Me and my sister love them. And if they're going to be in Maryland or DC soon?

32:50 The Vandals Yeah.

32:51 Caller No.

32:52 The Vandals That's a big negative.

32:53 The Vandals Sorry. Yes. No.

32:54 Drew No.

32:55 Caller Okay. Well...

32:57 The Vandals Maybe in the Warp Tour next summer.

32:59 Caller Oh, okay. Yeah. I love you guys.

33:02 The Vandals Thank you.

33:02 Caller And I know why... Well, I read somewhere why dogs like to sniff poop and stuff.

33:08 The Vandals What is that?

33:09 Adam Yeah. I was saying a few nights ago that if a dog's sense of smells a thousand times more cute than man's, why do you put your nose inside the poo? And how it's very traumatizing for me just to smell it from ten feet walking in the park. I couldn't imagine getting my nose up in it.

33:27 Drew And times a thousand.

33:28 Adam Times a thousand. Then I decided anything times a thousand smells like pizza. I decided that. But maybe Beth has a better answer.

33:37 Caller Well, I read somewhere in this book, so if I'm wrong, you know, it's not my fault, the guy who wrote it. Anyway, I read that supposedly dogs have a chemical in their brain that when they smell something that smells gross, it switches it around and makes it smell good.

33:52 Adam Like pizza.

33:52 Drew Right, that's the point.

33:53 Caller Yeah.

33:54 The Vandals So you're pretty much on the money there.

33:55 Adam Yeah, with my, well.

33:56 Drew I said lilacs.

33:57 Adam The dog's version of pizza.

33:59 The Vandals Yoo-hoo.

34:00 Adam Right, which is, it's funny when we, you know, I just saw dog biscuits today that were like peanut butter and chocolate flavored or something, and it's funny when we design food, our food for them. Kind of weird, like the dog knows, oh, he's eating, oh, hey, this biscuit tastes just like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

34:17 The Vandals Lobster biscuit.

34:17 Drew It's a Reese's Peanut Butter Biscuit. I've been asking for this for years. So you're begging for those things?

34:24 Adam Yeah, meanwhile, this thing just ate, you know, at 20 feet of garden hose, and you're pulling it out of its ass, right? Yeah, right, this thing knows the difference between a Reese's and a S'more. Yeah, finally a biscuit that tastes like a S'more. All right, where the hell are we? John?

34:44 Hey.

34:45 Adam You're 17, what's up?

34:46 Caller I just want to say first off that I've been listening to you guys since I was 12. I've learned a ton from you guys, probably not enough, because I'm about to ask a stupid question. I was trying some inhalants with my friends tonight. First off, we did nitrous, just the kind that you buy, you're supposed to make whipped cream and sodas with it.

35:04 Adam In the little cartridges?

35:06 Caller Yeah.

35:07 The Vandals Take the edge off.

35:09 Caller Okay. Yeah, we got the little thing you squeeze it into and you put it in the balloon, and you put it in your mouth and stuff. And I was just wondering, what are the long-term effects of that? If that could really mess you up?

35:18 Adam I did that when I was 17, look at me.

35:20 The Vandals Well, I did it too.

35:21 Drew It depends if there are any propellants in there, though sometimes there are hydrocarbons in there.

35:24 Adam So you could be a DJ, you could be in a band.

35:25 Drew But nitrous usually, one or the other, a single exposure of nitrous is not going to do much of anything. The problem is that there is reports of people dying suddenly. It's an anesthetic and you can have rhythm disturbances in your heart. You can fall down or hurt yourself. But now that you've done it and you're on the other side of it, you're fine.

35:41 Caller Well, I've got another question about a different one too. Yeah. They call it duster.

35:45 Drew Is that the dust thing? Yeah, for computer cleaner. Yeah, that stuff is nasty.

35:52 Adam What is that? I thought it was just compressed air.

35:54 Drew But it has a hydrocarbon propellant.

35:56 Caller Yeah, it makes your voice all deep like a cartoon character.

35:59 Drew Well, it's bad. Those sorts of inhaled substances can actually dissolve the frontal parts of the brain. And again, not a single exposure typically, but don't do that. That is bad stuff.

36:10 Adam Isn't it true, though, your brain, really, the real business in your brain takes place in the core and the outside. It's just so much padding.

36:17 Drew Nope.

36:17 Adam Oh, no, really? Nope. Oh, Christ. I'm screwed. I thought that part was just, you know, just basically to protect the core, the real, you know, the real gold mine in the center of the brain.

36:29 Drew See how Lee had his padding sort of disrupted and now look.

36:32 Adam Yes, he got his core exposed.

36:34 Drew No, no, just the padding was disrupted.

36:36 Adam No, he, boxing had nothing to do with his, he has Parkinson's, Drew, please, how dare you. It was not from the repeated head trauma, not from the rope-a-dope. Now, in hindsight, I guess the rope-a-dope didn't seem like the world's greatest strategy, and it's having difficulty speaking, right? Back then, it seemed pretty good. It was a great strategy as a boxer. I'll hang on to the ropes with both hands, I'll let you beat the crap out of my head. It's strange. I'll let you tire yourself out, pounding on me. Kind of a weird strategy, if you really think about it.

37:08 The Vandals I'm excited.

37:08 The Vandals I've got a pretty good Muhammad Ali story.

37:10 Adam Let's hear it.

37:11 The Vandals He was going to be in a parade at Disneyland about 10 years ago, just for one day. They were celebrating some sort of anniversary thing, whatever. My little brother, who was about 15 at the time or 16, was hired to do stuff for the parade, whether it was cleaning up a horse, doodoo, or driving one of the floats. This particular day in the middle of the summer, he and one of his co-worker buddies were on top of one of the buildings on Main Street, kind of hidden from the audience, but they were going to be blowing confetti during certain times of the show, the parade down of the thing.

37:44 Adam Who's confetti?

37:45 The Vandals Excuse me?

37:46 Adam Oh, I see.

37:46 Caller He said blowing confetti.

37:48 Adam That was a nickname of one of the co-workers. You know, maybe the guy's name is Cafferty or something.

37:53 The Vandals So they're up there with this huge confetti hose thing that blows like tons of confetti at a time pretty powerfully down into the street and no one can see him. And he had strict orders to when Muhammad Ali comes down on his float, lay off on the confetti. Like don't go easy on it, you know? And he's up on the floor kind of propped up and kind of barely knowing what's going on and kind of waving and staring off in the distance. It's about 105 degrees out and they see him come and they see that he's drenched, just drenched and pouring sweat.

38:21 Caller Right.

38:22 The Vandals So my brother goes, let's do this and does it like full blast and basically covers him.

38:27 Caller Oh, and he's hard feathered him and rode him out of town.

38:31 Caller Totally.

38:32 Drew Poor guy.

38:33 Adam You know what's always funny with Ali? And you know, I'll see all you in hell, by the way. He's making fun of Ali.

38:39 He's probably still looking for those guys.

38:42 The Vandals Yeah. Where's the damn confetti?

38:44 Adam You know what's always funny with Ali is like, whenever you hear people talk about it, they go, oh, well, you know, yeah, sure, he slowed down a little bit. I mean, you can tell he's still sharp. I mean, his mind is still, it's still the old Ali mind. I mean, maybe he don't have the movement, he don't have the motor skills, but you can, you look in his eyes.

38:59 He's still got the rhymes.

39:00 Adam And then they cut to him in the audience and it's like, oh, like Christ, no way, no way. It's always weird. It's like, it's funny when a guy, Ali's a funny story because we have so much reverence for the man, yet he's stricken with this condition and everyone feels like they have to sort of prop him up. So when he's like in the audience and his daughter's finding, they'll cut away to him and he's like not even facing the right direction and stuff. And they're going, look at him, that's a proud father. Look at him, he knows what's going on. He wishes he was still back in there. It's like, what do you mean he just crapped his pants? What are you talking about? He doesn't know where he is. You know what I'm saying?

39:42 Drew Poor guys.

39:43 Adam Yeah, I feel sorry, more sorry for the commentators.

39:46 Drew People have grave difficulty understanding neurologic illnesses in this country.

39:51 Adam Yes.

39:51 Drew We really just don't, we don't have a language, we don't have a way of describing it, we don't understand it. And when people have impairment of cognition, the personality changes from brain destruction, they even debate whether or not the brain has anything to do with who they are. Right. That's how ridiculous people are in this country.

40:05 Adam Well, you take away a man's brain, but you don't take his soul. And they're still the soul of a champion there, my friend. Look at him. Look at him. Well, he's not facing the right way, but when he is, rest assured, he's rooting for his daughter.

40:18 The Vandals When you clean the confetti off of him.

40:20 The Vandals They don't do that with Ronald Reagan. He's hidden away. They never show you him.

40:23 Adam Oh, well, he must be in pretty bad shape.

40:25 Drew I ran into him once. His office in Century City still.

40:28 Adam You ran into Reagan?

40:29 Drew Yeah, while he was coming up escalators.

40:31 The Vandals I walked right into the guy. He ran into you.

40:32 Drew And I walked right into the guy and he's out. Right.

40:35 Adam He used your penis for a door knob and tried to swing you open. All right. The Vandals are here. Let's hear something from the Vandal CD. Huh?

40:44 The Vandals Why not?

40:45 Adam Yeah, right before we go to break there. I mean, yeah.

40:47 The Vandals This one is called First on K-Rock.

40:49 Adam Behind the music. Hey, that sounded great. Where's the applause thing, Anderson? Come on, man. We play that, there we go.

43:34 The Vandals That was a badass jam.

43:36 Caller It was such a quick end, it wouldn't have worked.

43:37 Adam That was the, it wouldn't have worked. That was the Vandals. We have the guys here, we'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Debbie, who takes some woman to be umbrage to something I said about the Mormons last night.

43:51 Drew Imagine that.

43:52 Adam We'll get to her after this.

43:53 Drew That's what you said?

43:54 Adam You think it might have been the whack off on the Bible line?

43:57 Drew I might have had something to do with that.

43:58 Adam Okay, we'll get to that. Oh, no worry, we'll be back. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Josh and Joe are both here from The Vandals. Look what almost stepped in his name of the new CD. Also going to be at the Palladium, Hollywood Palladium coming up this Friday. Josh is headed to Disneyland, I guess. I don't know where Josh, Josh.

45:05 Caller Oh, I see he's in the bathroom.

45:07 Adam All right, he'll be back here in a second. Let's talk to Debbie. Debbie?

45:10 Caller Yeah.

45:11 Adam You're 41. What's going on?

45:13 Caller Hi. First of all, let me get this out of the way. Chris says, the Vandals rock.

45:19 Drew Rock!

45:20 Caller Okay.

45:21 Caller This is way past our bedtime.

45:23 Adam Was that Chris in the background? I see.

45:26 Caller Chris in the background. He listens to the show and he was listening to it last night.

45:31 Adam Hey, let's try one more time. You say, Debbie?

45:34 Caller Yeah.

45:34 Adam Say one more time, Chris thinks the Vandals rock and let's see if he yells rock again, all right?

45:39 Caller Okay, one more time.

45:40 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, there you go.

45:44 Adam Okay, that's good radio, Debbie.

45:45 Caller Thank you.

45:45 Adam That's exactly how I planned it.

45:47 Caller That's just what they wanted. Okay. Now, I was listening. He said, I'm going to listen to Loveline. I said, okay, fine. So I checked in last night for the first time to... Because he's been listening to you guys for a while.

46:01 Drew Uh-oh.

46:02 Three years, yeah.

46:03 Drew And you heard Adam have a very special moment last night.

46:06 Oh, didn't I?

46:08 Drew And by the way, Debbie, this is not the first person that's brought this moment up to me, my attention.

46:13 Caller It's not. Well, I'm just the one that happened to be lucky enough, I guess, to get on here and just...

46:18 Adam What were you talking about? The Mormons?

46:20 Caller Yeah, we were talking about the Mormons and the girl that had called and said that her husband was masturbating at night.

46:26 Drew Right, right, right.

46:27 Caller Okay, first of all, I just want to say, if any Mormon girls are listening, please don't marry out of the church. But to get to the point, he's a weight.

46:36 Adam I'll second that, by the way.

46:38 Drew We're okay with that, by the way.

46:39 Adam Stay with your own, your Mormons.

46:40 The Vandals If you're a Mormon, marry a Mormon.

46:41 Adam That's right.

46:43 Drew But Debbie, she, remember, was sexually abused and would be the kind of person that would pick an abuser.

46:49 Caller Exactly.

46:50 Drew And that's one of the reasons she married outside of the church. She needed to get a good, you know, drama going. Yeah, a good drama going. Now, the fact that he was masturbating was just sort of weird and two weeks into a marriage and all of a sudden, it was just sort of bizarre.

47:01 Caller Is there a pattern that's always followed?

47:03 Drew No. What, what, what? That the women who have been abused will pick abusers?

47:07 Caller Yeah.

47:07 Drew That is a very common pattern, yes.

47:09 Caller Okay, well, just, let's hope this girl gets in her way.

47:14 Adam I hope so, too. But what, what did you, what, what, what is it that I said that you took issue with?

47:19 Caller Uh, oh, it's Adam.

47:22 He's just, Dr. Drew, you're just terrific.

47:24 Caller I think my son could listen to you all the time.

47:26 Adam That's right. No one else would. Not even your son after a week.

47:30 Caller Adam.

47:30 Adam Yes.

47:31 Caller You, on the other hand.

47:33 Adam What did I say?

47:34 Caller I love you dearly, really. I do. We are waiting up to see, you know, make sure that Gores president and then we're going to bed. I just want to say, Adam, you have abstained long enough. Master Bay, you already...

47:50 Adam I got too off last night.

47:51 Caller Oh, well, you were starting to sound like Linda Blair.

47:54 Drew Debbie, you are a genius. You've got this man wired.

47:57 Adam Yeah.

47:58 Drew You are a genius.

47:59 Adam I had one, two and a half days.

48:00 Drew I haven't heard him only one night and she already hasn't figured out what the problem is.

48:04 Adam Yeah, I was cranky.

48:06 Caller He doesn't want to look like Linda Blair.

48:09 Adam Are you talking about with the crucifix or with the green stuff coming out of it?

48:13 Caller Green stuff.

48:14 The green stuff.

48:16 Adam She did put a cross in her in that movie, didn't she?

48:18 Caller Yes, she sure did.

48:19 Yeah.

48:20 Adam It's good seeing she wasn't Jewish. She would have had to shove the Torah up there.

48:23 Caller Can you imagine the Jews that are going to call?

48:25 All right.

48:25 Caller One more time, Chris. Thanks, Dr. Drew.

48:27 Adam.

48:29 Caller Bye, guys.

48:30 Adam Bye. Bye. Well, that wasn't so bad. So I guess Chris enjoys the Vandals.

48:35 Drew Josh isn't here.

48:36 Adam So all right, we'll talk to questions for Josh. Ryan, I'm guessing number two based on.

48:42 Drew I hope so. I'm getting worried about him.

48:45 Adam Ryan, you're 18.

48:47 Caller Hey, guys. Hey, I've got a friend and he's like got a major problem like me and my friend. We've gone to his house to hang out and we we've walked in on him four or five times. I having sex with his dog four or five times. Yeah. And he gets real defensive and we threaten to tell people and we don't know what kind of dog is it? It's a schnauzer.

49:16 Adam No.

49:16 Caller It's like a litter thing.

49:17 Adam No.

49:17 Drew Ryan's trying not to laugh.

49:19 Adam Yeah.

49:19 Caller Sorry, Ryan.

49:21 Adam No one has sex with a schnauzer. Even schnauzers don't have sex with each other as it turns out.

49:25 Caller We've done something with his dog.

49:27 Adam No, you did not.

49:28 Caller Yeah, we did.

49:29 Drew What did it look like? What was the sound?

49:31 Caller He was like just behind it. I don't know. It was pretty gross.

49:35 Adam No.

49:35 Caller We don't know if we should call like the humane system.

49:38 Drew If you don't know what it was, why was it gross?

49:40 Adam Call Betty White.

49:41 The Vandals That's not how schnauzers do it anyway.

49:43 Adam No. They call it doggy style, but that's a misnomer.

49:46 The Vandals That's to fool people like you.

49:47 Caller Right.

49:48 Adam They really do more of a 69 type maneuver.

49:50 Caller Should we call someone to take his dog away or what should we do?

49:56 Adam Well, call the dog's parents. Where are the dog's parents? Did the dog come from an abusive home? Alcoholic schnauzer dad?

50:04 Caller No. I have no idea about that.

50:06 Adam Schnauzers have a gene that predisposes them to alcoholism like American Indians. Is that true? All mammals do.

50:14 Drew But listen, if this is true...

50:16 Adam What is schnauzer? Is that a German dog?

50:18 Drew Yeah.

50:19 Adam Is there a Jewish dog that they could pick on? What are they? What are the different dogs?

50:27 Drew It's a boxer.

50:28 Adam Yeah, I mean there's... You know, the Mexicans got the chihuahua, right? The Germans, do they have the schnauzer or is that the German shepherd?

50:37 Drew Weimaraner.

50:37 Adam Weimaraner? That's German? Well, Germans seem to have too many dogs. So they got to start trading out some of those dogs. The Weimaraner, the schnauzer and the shepherd?

50:48 Drew Ryan, definitely, as important as protecting the animal would be to see to it that your friend gets some appropriate help and care. And I would, you know, confront him and do whatever you can to leverage him.

51:01 Adam I'd be more concerned that he walked in on his friend with his dog four times. You got to start changing. I mean, listen, I've masturbated 85,000 times and that's in the last year.

51:16 Dude, you beat off?

51:17 Adam Dude, you beat off. I've been busted twice.

51:21 The Vandals I can't believe you're admitting it, man.

51:22 The Vandals I can't believe you beat off.

51:24 Adam Well, I prefer to think of it as fag off with myself.

51:27 The Vandals That's what you're doing.

51:29 The Vandals Whatever, man. They didn't tell us we were going to be in the room with the.

51:34 Adam Come on, you guys do that too, right? No way.

51:36 The Vandals I'm a fag.

51:37 Adam I'm not a fag.

51:38 The Vandals What are we talking about?

51:38 Adam Well, I did it once when I was at camp and then 84,999 other times. But no, man, I mean, I was kidding, man. I don't fag off myself.

51:49 Caller I think so.

51:51 Adam Is that cool?

51:51 Caller High five.

51:51 Adam High five.

51:52 Caller High five.

51:52 Adam Yeah, you guys cool? Yeah. I mean, I saw us one dude fagging off of himself. I was like, I was like, I beat on his ass.

51:58 The Vandals You kick his ass and you see that, man.

52:00 Adam He's like, hey, man, you fag off of yourself, man, you know?

52:04 Drew Anyway, Ryan.

52:05 Adam Dude, you know why I don't fag off of myself is because I get chicks. I don't have to beat up. I don't have to. I get laid, man.

52:13 Drew So, Ryan, you got to do something with this guy, whether it's figure out a way to create some leverage to get him evaluated, whether there is some sort of animal rights organization you can call, just do something.

52:26 Adam I could get myself a Betty if I want to get it. I got to release. I got to bust another son. I got to fag off to myself.

52:32 Drew Go ahead and bust out there. Yeah.

52:34 Adam Okay, man. We'll take a little break, man.

52:39 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

53:35 The Vandals I like your style.

53:36 Adam I have bands on it, aren't I?

53:38 The Vandals Native Americans music.

53:40 Adam Yeah, where are those guys from?

53:42 Caller Disturbed?

53:43 The Vandals Some Indian reservation.

53:47 Adam What did you say, Anderson? They're from hell?

53:50 Drew That's nice.

53:51 Adam Thank you. From up in here. The Vandals are here tonight. Josh and Joe, they hand themselves a new CD out. Drew has it open. Look what I'm going to step in as the name of it. And it's very lively cover art. As a matter of fact-

54:07 Drew A matter of holding cow down.

54:08 Adam That's right. But the bull looks reminiscent of cartoons that I've seen in the past. And I can't think of if there's certain artists or is it- you know what I'm saying?

54:19 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:20 Adam What is that? What does that remind you of?

54:24 Drew I can't quite place it. It's a-

54:25 Adam Is it the artists that would do- oh, man.

54:29 The Vandals A runaway.

54:29 Adam Chuck Jones is what Anderson says that I was thinking of.

54:32 Drew Now I'm thinking like Angry Beaver is that kind of cartoon.

54:35 The Vandals Chuck D.

54:35 Adam It's got an ounce of Angry Beaver in it. But it also has- you guys remember that cartoon where the kid would doze off in the back of the class and fantasize about all those? Yes.

54:47 The Vandals He'd be like that for radio.

54:47 Adam Exactly like him. They use that sort of- the art looked like the bowl in this. Who did this art?

54:55 The Vandals Shag. He's from Orange County and he's a long, long waiting list that he ignored to do that for us.

55:01 The Vandals He's bomb ass.

55:02 Adam Yeah, it's really cool stuff.

55:03 The Vandals He's the happening guy right now. shag.com. I think he's got to go on or something like that.

55:06 Adam We will hear something again from the Vandals before the night is through. Greg?

55:11 Caller Yo, what's up?

55:11 Adam You're 20.

55:12 Caller Yes, sir. Josh Freeze?

55:14 Caller Yes.

55:15 Caller Best solo album ever, dude.

55:17 The Vandals Thank you, sir.

55:19 Caller That's what's happening.

55:20 The Vandals Thank you very much.

55:20 The Vandals Out on Kung Fu Records.

55:22 Caller What's that?

55:22 The Vandals Out on Kung Fu Records. We have to get one plug.

55:24 Caller Hey, man, two things. I saw you guys play last Sunday in Tucson, here in Tucson, I guess.

55:29 The Vandals Oh, nice. That was awesome.

55:30 Caller I want to know why you guys didn't play Susanville for me, man.

55:32 Caller That sucks.

55:34 The Vandals In music, there's something what is known as a deep cut. We got like, you know, nine albums.

55:39 Caller Yeah, totally.

55:40 The Vandals That's a deep cut, not making it to the playlist.

55:42 Adam I guess that's what you run into when you've been around for 20 years, which is you're going to be a certain amount of songs that people aren't going to hear when they show up.

55:51 The Vandals So I can't play all 300 of them tonight.

55:53 Adam Yeah, like when you go see Big Country, you know what you're getting.

55:56 Caller Yeah.

55:57 The Vandals Right said Fred. They're going to do the I'm Too Sexy song no matter what.

56:01 Adam The second encore, I guess. First encore, I'm Too Sexy. Sweet.

56:06 Caller And also, what's the deal with that Christina bit at the end of your album, Josh?

56:10 The Vandals Oh, wow. That's a girl I went on like two dates with. Barely knew her. Forgot to call her back one afternoon and just got this scathing message from her one day. Well, you know.

56:21 The Vandals He made a dance hit out of it.

56:22 The Vandals I guess I had it coming to me.

56:23 Caller And it was awesome. I totally dig your album. You're right on.

56:26 The Vandals Thank you.

56:26 Adam Thanks, Greg. Take care of yourself.

56:28 The Vandals Now get the hell out of here. Yeah.

56:31 Adam Let's make room for the freaks. Brian?

56:33 Caller Yeah?

56:33 Adam You're not here at 13. What's up?

56:36 Caller What's up? Well, first of all, I just want to say you guys, I think your show is really great because a lot of times, like, there's certain questions that I just like can't ask my parents, you know?

56:46 Adam Right.

56:46 Caller And so I just think the show is really cool. Well, like, I'm non-circumcised and like on the inside, like, there's these white, like, dots, like, underneath the skin.

57:01 Drew Yeah, that's probably just the pearly papules. They're basically some clogged sweat glands.

57:06 Adam Are they coming? Are they?

57:07 The Vandals I was going to say that.

57:08 Adam Are they stuck or can you move them around?

57:11 The Vandals Can manipulate them.

57:12 Drew Pearly penile papules, pearly penile papules, yes, indeed.

57:15 Adam Thank you.

57:16 Drew All right.

57:16 Adam So what should you do about that?

57:18 Drew Nothing, Josh. Keep it clean. That's all.

57:20 Caller OK.

57:20 Drew Dry, dry and clean.

57:21 Caller Yeah.

57:22 Adam Hey, Drew. Yeah. I'll tell you something. Listen, if you have delicate sensibilities, turn your radio off right now because I got to talk to Drew about my nutsack for a second.

57:33 The Vandals You're dreaming nutsack? No, what is it? Silky dreamsack.

57:36 Adam My silky dreamsack.

57:37 The Vandals Scary beanbag?

57:40 Adam I've had what looks like a small white head on my nutsack, which I've had before.

57:47 Drew Is it raised?

57:48 Adam It's raised a little bit.

57:50 Drew Is the whole thing kind of spongy and white?

57:52 Adam No.

57:54 Drew Is it dark in the center at all?

57:56 Adam No. It looks like a little white head.

57:59 The Vandals I've got about six dozen in there.

58:01 Adam I will comb through the nutsack every once in a while, sometimes using a flashlight. What's that called?

58:06 Drew Transillumination.

58:06 Adam Transillumination. Just to see what's going on.

58:09 Drew See how I scrape the top of that off and you get to toothpaste.

58:12 Adam Hold on a second. Once in a while, I will go through there, and guys will get little white heads, little bumps, little black heads, and you can just kind of push them out, right?

58:19 The Vandals Oh, there's huge red sores.

58:20 Adam Do you get those?

58:21 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

58:21 Adam Big festering ones.

58:23 The Vandals I've got like three of those in there.

58:24 Adam So, Drew, this thing is the size of a small white head.

58:28 Drew Okay.

58:28 Adam Okay? Like something you'd wake up with after a night of drinking. Little white head. Nothing around it. No red lump around it.

58:35 Drew I told you about this already. I told you about this.

58:37 Adam This thing is hard as a god damn...

58:38 The Vandals He likes the story.

58:40 Adam This is hard as a diamond.

58:41 Drew What did I tell you?

58:42 Adam Hold on a second.

58:42 Drew What did I tell you?

58:43 Adam I could cut glass with this thing. It's hard as a diamond. And once every two weeks, I get drunk, I sit on my sofa nude, I stare at my nutsack, and I think, this is the last night. I will get rid of this thing. I got tools in the basement. You understand? I will get rid of this thing. I'm serious, man. And this thing is hard as a rock. Yes. It is like a rock, but it's right on the edge of the skin. The other night, I went down to the basement. I got myself an X-Acto. And I got a little hobby room down there. And I started trying to make an incision on it. Couldn't get the thing out of there. It's just a hard rock. It's like a pebble.

59:15 Drew It's molluscum contagiosa.

59:16 How do I get...

59:17 Adam It won't come out, though. How do I get it out?

59:20 The Vandals What does that mean? Is that dangerous?

59:21 Drew No, it's a virus.

59:22 Adam No. How dare you?

59:24 The Vandals I'm going to check myself.

59:25 Drew You know what?

59:25 Adam Look, I'll give you... I'll give an example.

59:26 Drew I'm going to have to go to work with you again.

59:28 Adam Right? Listen, if you work on my junk again, you're taking it home with you because it's not going to be attaching me this time. Suspicious. Let me ask you something, Drew. Do you see my eyelid?

59:38 The Vandals Yeah.

59:38 Adam All right. Do you see there's like a little white bump on my...

59:41 The Vandals I've got one, too.

59:42 Adam Eyelid. You got one of those?

59:44 Caller Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

59:46 Adam All right.

59:46 Caller Right.

59:46 Adam You got... Do you see it? I don't know which side it's on. Can you see that thing?

59:50 Drew No, but go ahead.

59:51 Adam That's good radio.

59:51 Drew I know what you're talking about, though.

59:53 Adam Well, come on. No, seriously. Find it.

59:54 The Vandals What is that? Because I was thinking...

59:55 Drew I know what they are. I don't see yours.

59:57 Adam Can you see anything? Would you...

59:59 Drew There's something up here.

1:00:00 Adam Yeah, up there. Up there. It's a little white bump. Hard as a rock. Once every month, I decide it's going.

1:00:07 Drew Well, those are tough.

1:00:08 Adam I get a pin.

1:00:09 Drew No, no, no.

1:00:10 I poke it into it.

1:00:11 Adam I try to scrape it off.

1:00:11 The Vandals It ain't going nowhere.

1:00:12 Drew No, no, no.

1:00:13 Adam I've got to get the exact... And this time, I've got to do it while I'm running.

1:00:16 The Vandals We'll get drunk. I'll cut it off for you. Oh, no.

1:00:18 Adam I'm drunk.

1:00:19 The Vandals Oh, you're drunk right now?

1:00:20 Adam No. I mean, I'm drunk when I work on it because it's only when I'm sitting home on Friday night after watching the TGI lineup. But here's my point, Drew. How do I get that thing out of there? What is that thing? There's a little calcium deposit.

1:00:33 Drew This is a little growth, actually.

1:00:35 Adam But what is that thing? It's the same thing that's on my sack.

1:00:37 Drew No, it's different.

1:00:38 Adam Absolutely.

1:00:39 Drew No, it's different.

1:00:39 Adam How dare you question my sack?

1:00:42 Drew I need to see the sack.

1:00:43 Adam I'll show you the sack. So help me.

1:00:45 The Vandals Bust it out, dude.

1:00:46 Adam I'll bust it out.

1:00:47 Drew The commercial.

1:00:48 The Vandals You're all talking to what?

1:00:49 Drew Have the vandals run things?

1:00:50 Adam No, I'll bust it out there in the commercial. And it's seen enough of my junk the last our lifetime. For Christ's sake, we'll get Marcel down here with this camera so you can put it up on the Internet. Lily?

1:00:59 Hello, yes.

1:01:00 Adam You're 21.

1:01:01 Caller Yes.

1:01:02 Adam What's up?

1:01:04 Caller I just want to say hi to all the vandals, first of all.

1:01:06 The Vandals I love Josh Rees.

1:01:07 Caller Do you know who I am? No.

1:01:10 The Vandals We have so many millions of fans, no one that we know would ever call, we could ever get through.

1:01:14 Caller Okay, be quiet. Okay, anyways, I have a problem with dealing with a relationship after being raped. This happened like two years ago.

1:01:24 Adam Was that George? Which one raped you?

1:01:29 Caller Oh, was it?

1:01:29 Stupid.

1:01:30 Caller His name was John and he was a dick.

1:01:33 Drew Is it a date rape thing?

1:01:34 Caller Sorry. Yeah.

1:01:35 That's all right.

1:01:35 Caller He was actually the best friend of my boyfriend at the time.

1:01:39 Adam Nice.

1:01:39 Caller And my boyfriend didn't even believe me. That's the saddest part of it.

1:01:42 Drew That's nice. Hold on.

1:01:43 Adam I've heard this story. Hold on one second. I got to talk to this.

1:01:46 Drew This is about people not believing.

1:01:47 Adam I've heard this every night I've done this show. It's like I got raped. I told my mom that my stepdad raped me. She didn't believe me. I told my boyfriend. His best friend raped me. How does this go that no one believes anyone was raped? I mean, if my girlfriend said, hey, I got raped, I'd be like, well, let's go get the pitchfork and the torch and let's go. Let's go. What do you like?

1:02:07 The Vandals Let's get the blowtorch and the pliers.

1:02:08 Adam Yeah, let's go. I mean, why? You know, if you're if you're a girl and you're like crying and you go, hey, your friend raped me, what guy is going? No, he didn't.

1:02:17 The Vandals I don't believe you.

1:02:19 Adam Yeah. And do they not believe it? Or is this the victim's version version of it? Like, is the guy going? Is it too much for the guy to process? And he goes, yeah, OK. And he doesn't do anything about it. And that's interpreted as I don't believe you. Or are they really just going, you're lying. I don't believe you're right. You know, the blood coming out of your vagina, that's please. That's something else. Fleshwood, Lily, what do you mean you didn't believe you?

1:02:47 Caller OK, this is the thing. I think he didn't believe that he raped me. I think he thought that I cheated on him, which I would never do. I mean, that was like the only guy I've ever been with my whole life.

1:02:56 Adam Right.

1:02:57 Caller I just don't get why he just told me like, oh, yeah, are you sure he raped you? And I was just like, well, how do I prove to you that he raped me? And I was like drinking alcohol. And it was like a bad state of mind, I guess, that I was in. And that's probably why he just thought that I got drunk and horny and had sex with his friend.

1:03:15 Adam Where were you? Where was he? Why were you just getting drunk?

1:03:18 Caller He was at a party. We were supposed to all go to the party, but I got in a fight with my boyfriend. And then John was like, oh, well, we'll still go, you know, because it was like my friend's party.

1:03:26 Drew What was John's perception of what happened?

1:03:28 Caller He claimed that we both got drunk and we had sex. And that's all that happened. When I kept saying no, no, I think I even blacked out because all I remember is like three seconds of the whole thing taking place. Right. I don't even remember how it happened. I didn't know it happened.

1:03:43 Drew OK. Well, I don't. Indeed, in the eyes of the law in California, having sex with somebody who's intoxicated is a form of rape.

1:03:51 Adam Everything's rape in California.

1:03:52 Drew Yeah.

1:03:52 Caller I kept saying no. That's the thing, you know.

1:03:54 Drew Yeah. You don't know that you're intoxicated.

1:03:56 Caller Yeah.

1:03:57 Adam Well, do you remember saying no?

1:03:59 Caller I remember saying no because I kept telling him this is like not happening. This is a dream or I kept saying that.

1:04:04 Drew Yeah, that's not no.

1:04:05 Adam I've heard girls say this is a dream and took that to be a good thing.

1:04:08 Caller Okay. Well, that's exactly why I didn't do anything because I didn't have anything to prove. I was 18 at the time. I wasn't even supposed to be drinking. No.

1:04:15 Drew Yes. This is this is a consequence of alcohol. Really?

1:04:18 Adam Okay.

1:04:18 Caller Well, I know.

1:04:19 Adam Now, can you can you put this behind you or I could?

1:04:22 Caller But the thing is, I just like I'll have someone and I'll really like them. But I just can't like get to that level like of having sex.

1:04:29 Adam Like it's just you haven't had sex.

1:04:31 Caller I can't trust them.

1:04:32 Adam You haven't had sex since then?

1:04:33 Caller No, I haven't had sex in like two years.

1:04:36 Adam Two years?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah, because I had sex. Like me and my boyfriend got together after that for like a little bit.

1:04:41 Adam All right.

1:04:41 Caller You know, but like now.

1:04:43 Adam Why? I mean, you had one bad episode.

1:04:46 Drew What else?

1:04:48 Adam Something before this.

1:04:49 Caller Yeah. I don't know.

1:04:50 Adam What are you missing? What's missing from this story?

1:04:52 Caller I grew up in a Catholic strict home. Like I went to private school my whole life.

1:04:55 Caller Right.

1:04:56 Caller And where you're told like you don't have sex with anyone unless you're like deeply in love or you get married.

1:05:00 Caller Right.

1:05:01 Caller So I just normally have a problem even having sex with someone. But then that happened and it kind of screwed up.

1:05:07 Caller Well, okay.

1:05:07 Adam Where's your dad? Is he a good guy?

1:05:09 Caller He's gone. He's been.

1:05:10 Caller Alcoholic.

1:05:12 Adam Alcoholic?

1:05:12 Caller I was four years old.

1:05:14 Adam Yes. Bullfighter?

1:05:16 Caller I haven't seen him like in. Never. Three years.

1:05:20 Adam You haven't seen him in.

1:05:21 Caller Since I graduated from high school.

1:05:23 Adam Where is he?

1:05:24 Caller In Arizona.

1:05:25 Adam I see. Is he an alcoholic?

1:05:27 Caller No, he's not, but he cheated on my mom and left my whole family and started his own family and stuff.

1:05:33 Adam I see. And did he?

1:05:34 Drew He doesn't use pot or alcohol.

1:05:36 Caller And did he what?

1:05:37 Adam Does he use any drugs?

1:05:38 Caller No, he doesn't. Well, not that I know of.

1:05:40 Adam Was he a good guy to you growing up?

1:05:42 Caller Not really. I only saw him once a year.

1:05:45 Adam I see.

1:05:45 Caller And that was just Christmas time.

1:05:46 Adam All right. So there's, you got a fair amount of issues with men in intimacy, right?

1:05:52 Caller Yeah.

1:05:52 Adam Yeah. At least you're giddy about it. But it's all stuff you need to look into. Here's what I'm saying, Lily. Here's the way. OK. You want to know what happens in life? Ah, here's what happens. It's like your life is some little kind of a pond that's gone bad, you know? A lot of stuff growing in it. The water starts going bad, turns into a little cesspool. And then you get a hole punched in it. And that hole is, in your case, would be getting raped. And all of that crap flows through that one hole. So it seems like that's the problem. But this goes way back. This is your dad, this is an abandonment, this is your crappy family, this is this sort of Catholicism and all this stuff that was forced up when you were a kid. It's all of this and it's all landing in the lap of this rape. Which is a part of it, but it's not all of it.

1:06:45 Drew It just popped the balloon.

1:06:46 Adam So you gotta dress the whole picture.

1:06:48 Drew Yeah.

1:06:48 Adam You gotta clean out the whole pond, not just patch the hole. That's right.

1:06:51 The Vandals And raping someone else is not the answer.

1:06:55 Adam It's a good start, but it's not the answer. It's too bad girls who have been raped just don't go out and rape.

1:07:03 Drew That's what a guy would do.

1:07:04 Adam A guy would do it. That'd be great because I swear to Christ, I think 40% of the women now have been raped in their life. And if they just went out and said an eye for an eye, it'd be great.

1:07:15 The Vandals Even Steven.

1:07:16 Adam I'd be sleeping in the park.

1:07:19 The Vandals I'd be wearing tight clothes, revealing a lot of skin.

1:07:22 Adam And I'll tell you what I'd never do again. I'd never jack off on myself. I'd never fag off on myself. Beat off. Sorry, beat off. I'd never fag off with myself again. I'd beat off. Yeah. No, dude. No. No way. No way, dude. Karina? I wouldn't have to because I'd have a hundred.

1:07:39 The Vandals Yeah, you'd have all kinds of chicks.

1:07:40 Adam Yeah, man. I mean, I need a release. I go, you know, I get some Betty to give me a release, man.

1:07:45 Drew Just grab one. Hi, Karina.

1:07:47 Adam I don't fag off myself.

1:07:48 Drew What's going on, Karina? You're 14.

1:07:50 Caller Yeah. I wanted to know what the side effects of ecstasy were because, like, I took it yesterday and my head really hurts and I have, like, a real high temperature right now.

1:08:00 Drew Well, what's your temperature?

1:08:03 Caller Like a hundred and something. That's what my mom says, I guess.

1:08:06 Drew All right. There is a hyperthermic reaction.

1:08:09 Adam Nice to have a mom is so vague that she gives you the hundred and something. Could be 120, could be 101.

1:08:14 Drew Do you still feel like you're under the effects of the drug?

1:08:17 Caller Kind of, because I kind of did it at school.

1:08:20 Drew Did you take a big dose?

1:08:22 Caller No, I took half of a pill.

1:08:24 Adam You did acts at school?

1:08:25 Caller Yeah.

1:08:26 Adam Wow.

1:08:28 Drew There is a fever, a hyperthermic reaction to this. It can be very dangerous. So I would suggest.

1:08:33 Adam It does kind of make you.

1:08:34 Drew There's a whole thing with seizure. But I suggest you be seen right away by a dog like an emergency room.

1:08:39 Adam Yeah, I did an act a couple of times. Hang on a second. Oh, my.

1:08:43 Caller Hello.

1:08:44 Drew Yeah.

1:08:45 Caller Yeah. It's because they took my vitals at school and you know, I don't feel so good.

1:08:50 Drew Right. Do you hear what I said, Carina, about ecstasy causing high fevers and a dangerous reaction?

1:08:55 Caller Yeah.

1:08:56 Drew Okay. It's usually in a large dose. And I doubt that's actually what you have. You probably just have a virus. But because of that possibility that this is an ecstasy reaction, you should be seen right away, right away.

1:09:09 Adam All right, Carina. All right. All right. Yeah. You guys ever done ecstasy? Maybe once. Yeah. I've done it a couple times.

1:09:15 The Vandals I'll take half of one one time and it's just nothing. Oh yeah, it's cool.

1:09:19 Adam You fagged off with yourself after a while, didn't you? I had that same like sweating hyper heat thing, but I think part of it is because I've been doing the robot for five hours straight.

1:09:33 The Vandals The running man for nine hours at a loft in LA.

1:09:38 Adam It's true.

1:09:40 The Vandals Dr. Seuss got the hat hat and the whistle around your neck.

1:09:42 Caller Right, right.

1:09:43 The Vandals You were raving it up.

1:09:44 Caller Right.

1:09:45 Drew Wearing a pyramid.

1:09:46 Caller Right.

1:09:48 Adam Just getting down like a mad man for eight straight hours. Thank God there's a pool nearby. I could jump in.

1:09:53 The Vandals Busting a move.

1:09:54 Adam John? John, you're 31. What's up?

1:09:58 Caller What's up, Adam? Hey, Drew, what's happening, man?

1:10:01 Drew John, what's going on?

1:10:02 Caller Yeah, I listen to you guys all the time. I drive a truck and I just.

1:10:06 Drew I'm sorry.

1:10:07 The Vandals Oops, there goes John with the F word. He had to drop the F bomb.

1:10:12 Drew He was so enthusiastic.

1:10:13 Adam I know. Listen, Anderson, we got to get back to him. He was one of the good, one of the good cussers. There's bad cussers in this good cusser.

1:10:20 The Vandals The first time I was ever on Loveline, I was telling you, Drew, 10 years ago with, you know, with the weasel, the first sentence that I said, that he was kind of talking most of the time, he introduced me and I came up the microphone and I said the F word. Out of nervousness, yeah.

1:10:33 Adam Right out of the bag.

1:10:34 The Vandals I felt like a big jerk.

1:10:35 Caller Yeah, I'm kind of nervous, man. Hey, I got a question for you.

1:10:39 Drew Dr. Drew? John.

1:10:41 Caller Yeah, I got this problem. I don't know what it is, man. Maybe I'm just weird or something, but like my sack, it's like always tight, you know? I don't know what it is. It's like, like if you make a fist, that's what it feels like. And it's like, you know, there's an hang. I don't want to stop getting it. But like, I've been like in the locker room and stuff. You know, I've seen guys and stuff.

1:11:00 Caller What, dude? You're checking out other guys?

1:11:02 The Vandals Don't ever, man.

1:11:09 Adam I never see another guy's door.

1:11:12 The Vandals You're gay. I don't even look at my phone, dude.

1:11:14 The Vandals What's your name? Peter Gaser.

1:11:16 Caller Peter Gaser. We don't do that.

1:11:21 Caller Let me tell you something.

1:11:22 Adam I check out chicks. Yeah, I check out.

1:11:25 Caller I've seen some booties.

1:11:26 Adam But yeah, yeah, I mean, I'll see a chair.

1:11:29 The Vandals I don't even look there.

1:11:30 Adam No way. I don't go there, dude. So I don't even look at my own man. Sometimes I go to the bathroom and even look down, man.

1:11:37 The Vandals I don't check myself out.

1:11:38 Adam No way.

1:11:39 Drew So John's got no hang is the problem, right? And then they got no hang. That can be normal.

1:11:43 Adam Although I don't even know what my sack looks like, dude.

1:11:47 Drew Can I talk to John?

1:11:49 Adam All right. I mean, I don't know if I want to talk to this dude, cause he's like scoping on other dudes John.

1:11:56 The Vandals Peter Gaser.

1:11:57 Adam Yeah, whatever. Go ahead.

1:12:00 Drew John?

1:12:00 Caller Hey, hey, at least I don't go pooping someone else is like beanie and you know, stuff like that.

1:12:06 Drew Yeah, or somebody's pumpkin.

1:12:08 Caller Touche, my friend.

1:12:09 Caller I guess they do pee on each other.

1:12:12 Adam Oh, hey.

1:12:14 The Vandals You've never had a Mississippi brownout, is that what you're saying?

1:12:18 Caller Mississippi what?

1:12:19 The Vandals A Boise Brownout. It's a prison term.

1:12:21 Caller Is that a drink?

1:12:22 The Vandals No, it's a prison term.

1:12:23 The Vandals Oh, you would drink it.

1:12:24 Caller You would, dude.

1:12:27 How gay are you?

1:12:28 Adam All right, go ahead. Tell, talk about a sec, Drew.

1:12:31 Drew John, do you otherwise normally have normal hair distribution, normal sexual functioning, normal height? Do you have normal hair distribution, normal sexual functioning, normal height?

1:12:43 Caller Yeah, I'm about 5'9, maybe about 2'20.

1:12:46 Drew Everything's normal for you, right? Otherwise, just no hang.

1:12:49 Caller Yeah, just like...

1:12:50 Drew And there's testes...

1:12:51 Caller It hangs like in the morning. When I wake up, I'm more relaxed or I take a hot shower. Everything's cool. But like, the rest of the day, man, it gets tight, you know? And I got to like... Yeah, I got to mess with my junk, you know? And it's like kind of weird because it's like...

1:13:03 Adam Dude, you touch your own junk? He touches it.

1:13:07 Caller Man...

1:13:07 Drew It sounds normal, John.

1:13:08 Adam If my junk itches, man, I use a stick to scratch it, man. I don't even touch it, dude.

1:13:13 The Vandals I get a chick to scratch it.

1:13:14 Adam Yeah, I got one of my bitches.

1:13:17 Caller I'm like, hey, bitch, come here, man.

1:13:19 Adam It's like my junk's hurting, man. Come here and scratch it for me. And while you're down there, give me a little something, something, so I don't have to fag off with myself.

1:13:29 The Vandals I should get a massage probably for that.

1:13:31 Adam Try a little happy release. Yeah.

1:13:35 Caller Yeah. You love it.

1:13:36 The Vandals Happy ending.

1:13:37 Caller Yeah.

1:13:37 Adam I give myself some baddies. Anything not to touch my own junk, you know?

1:13:45 Caller We'll be right back.

1:13:46 Adam One time I brushed my own junk when I was scratching my leg.

1:13:49 Caller I was like, whoa, dude, I had to wash my hands.

1:13:51 The Vandals Totally by accident.

1:13:52 Adam Totally, totally. Back of my hand, but I still washed it, man. You know? Yeah. Hey, Drew, speaking of my sack, can you go look at it?

1:14:03 Drew Let's go. I got to see this thing. You were talking about this goddamn thing for three weeks.

1:14:07 Adam I know, but can you be a little more uncomfortable with it?

1:14:10 Drew I got to pee. That's why I want to go.

1:14:11 Adam But just pretend to be a little more uncomfortable with it so I can feel better.

1:14:14 Drew Let's get this over with.

1:14:15 Adam Feels weird when you're really like cavalier about checking my sack. I mean, could you just go like.

1:14:21 The Vandals Hey, let's all go check it out.

1:14:22 Adam Yeah, let's go.

1:14:23 All right, dudes.

1:14:24 Adam All right, we'll be back with the Vandals after this.

1:14:27 Caller Love Line, Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:14:30 Caller We'll be right back.

1:14:33 You're listening to Love Line on 947 in RK with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla. Oh my, it's Loveline.

1:14:53 Caller 94.7.

1:14:55 Caller NRK.

1:15:01 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew.

1:15:07 Drew Yeah, I did my exam.

1:15:09 Adam Josh and Joe are both here from the Vandals, by the way. I showed Drew my sack.

1:15:13 Drew Now, I have to say, did I not ask you, please let me urinate first?

1:15:17 Adam I couldn't wait.

1:15:18 Drew So he brings his sack over to me while I'm at the latrine and did sort of thrust it.

1:15:22 The Vandals I didn't know. I thought you guys were kidding. I went, I had to use the ladies bathroom because you were in there.

1:15:25 Drew No, I saw the thing.

1:15:27 The Vandals That doesn't mean I'm gay either.

1:15:28 Adam Let me tell you my policy.

1:15:30 Drew We are though.

1:15:30 Adam If my junk's out, your junk's out too. I want you to feel vulnerable.

1:15:34 Drew Yeah.

1:15:34 Adam I only showed it to you while you had your junk.

1:15:36 Drew That's true.

1:15:37 Adam What was that on my nutsack?

1:15:38 Drew That is a probably a cyst. It might actually be a growth of like a gland, a growth. All right. But now it needs to be cut out quite a bit.

1:15:47 Adam Oh, it's not big.

1:15:49 Drew It's not going to squeeze out.

1:15:50 Adam Now please describe to everyone what it really looked like.

1:15:53 Drew A very smooth.

1:15:54 Adam Growth and cyst involved with this.

1:15:56 Drew Like about a two millimeter, very hard, smooth nodule.

1:16:02 The Vandals I heard it was so big, it doesn't even like the same kind of music.

1:16:04 Drew Does it say a millimeter or two centimeters?

1:16:05 Adam It likes country western.

1:16:07 Drew And it would have to be cut out, though, to take come out. Is it somebody have to?

1:16:10 Adam So I'm going to have to cut it out? I'll cut it out.

1:16:14 Drew It will shell out.

1:16:15 Adam I'll shell it out. I'll do that this week.

1:16:18 The Vandals Satisfying.

1:16:19 Adam No, Drew paints a much more dismal picture of it. It's the size of a...

1:16:25 Drew Two millimeters.

1:16:27 Adam We're not in Europe.

1:16:28 Drew It's four millimeters.

1:16:29 Adam No, it's two millimeters.

1:16:31 The Vandals Perhaps a hundred meters.

1:16:32 Adam It's about the thickness of a toothpick, and it's not even red. It's just a white little...

1:16:37 Drew It's not in the skin.

1:16:38 Adam It's a white little ball. I'm going to get that thing out. What would I get that thing out with? An X-ACTO?

1:16:43 Drew Skin scalpel, skin blade.

1:16:44 Adam X-ACTO will work for that, right?

1:16:46 The Vandals 11-inch knitting needle.

1:16:47 Drew You're going to get like... You're going to do that, and you're going to get like...

1:16:50 Adam Tetanus?

1:16:51 Drew Tetanus, so the damn flesh-eating...

1:16:53 Adam I'll dip it in rubbing alcohol.

1:16:56 The Vandals You're going to get a head rush.

1:16:57 Adam You're talking to a guy who put a needle in his ass and lanced a carbuncle successfully.

1:17:02 Drew I understand you're a man.

1:17:03 Adam Using a mirror. Yes.

1:17:05 The Vandals Carbuncle.

1:17:06 Adam Thank you.

1:17:06 Drew Back to the point.

1:17:07 Adam All right.

1:17:08 Drew What happens to Josh during the breaks, by the way?

1:17:10 The Vandals He's in a perfect circle and so he's, you know. I'm glued to this chair. I'll never get back in Josh.

1:17:15 Adam I don't know where Josh went.

1:17:16 Drew He just disappeared, then all of a sudden he's here again. In the middle of a conversation. Oh, there he is.

1:17:19 Adam Let's talk about the election now. Talk a bit of politics while Josh is out of here because apparently Bush has won, right?

1:17:27 Drew Yes.

1:17:28 Caller Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:17:29 Adam I don't really care who won, but the more I hear, you know, whenever I hear like Sharon Stone and Cher and stuff start bitching about what they would do if Bush wins, then I start pulling for the guy. It's kind of funny. I base it on how miserable Sharon is.

1:17:44 The Vandals If Gore would have won, I would have left the country and moved to Catalina.

1:17:49 Drew I am very happy with Proposition 36. So this is a proposition that's going to allocate resources away from prison towards treatment for people who have drug offenses. That's a California thing. California thing is a major move in the right direction.

1:18:03 Adam You know what drives me nuts about all that stuff is somewhat on the point which is I was listening to some talk radio when I was driving home last night and you hear these rednecks call in and they're like well I'm voting for Bush because Gore wants to take our guns away and Bush is for smaller government and less government and then the issue of a woman's right to have an abortion comes up and they're dead set against that. You know what I'm saying? Right. So they want less government except it's their whole thing but if you have a pot plant in your backyard they want the full extent of the law to come down on you.

1:18:39 Drew I don't think some of them I don't most of them I don't believe that's the way things are going right now.

1:18:43 Adam I think most the guys who are Republican and who are the gun toting guys the Charlton Heston types let's just use Charlton Heston as an example. Charlton Heston would want them coming down on you if you were growing pot in your backyard.

1:18:59 Drew I would hope.

1:19:00 Adam And would want a woman not to have the right to choose, but less government.

1:19:05 The Vandals He's kind of an old school.

1:19:05 Adam Except for the chicks in the pot.

1:19:07 The Vandals He's more of an old style Republican though than I think. There's a lot of new ones that are there's some surprisingly conservative Republicans that are just that are against the whole drug thing and want legalized drugs.

1:19:16 Adam I'm with them, which is listen, you want government out, get government out.

1:19:20 Drew Yes. And that really should be the next whatever the third next third party is, that should be there. Yeah.

1:19:26 Adam If the man cannot show up at your house and confiscate your gun, why can he show up at your house and take away your pot plant? Why can he show up at your house and tell your old lady what to do with her vagina?

1:19:37 Drew Very much with you.

1:19:38 Adam Thank you. Is that the vagina or what they call it, the uterus? Is that behind the vagina or in front of the vagina?

1:19:45 Drew I'm just trying to think of a good slogan for how to protect the vagina from the man.

1:19:49 Adam Well, you work on that, Drew. I'm worried about my say. All right. And you know the other thing that was funny is what state did the Senate, the guy was running for Senate, he died in a plane crash very tragically. Missouri, just a few weeks before the election. And now his wife is running. Yeah. And Jimmy called me today from The Man Show. He was like, how bizarre is that, by the way? He said, if something happened to me, his wife Gina could step in and do The Man Show. And I said, yeah, sure. I mean, if something happened to Brett Favre.

1:20:21 Drew Susan could see my patience.

1:20:22 Adam His wife would come in in quarterback, let's say the fourth quarter, if he went down in the third quarter. Like, since when does your wife come in and just take your job? And by the way, if you got a job where you go down and your wife is able to come in and do the job just as well, that's a pussy job. That's no job. That's a horrible job. That means that's not a job.

1:20:45 Drew Those are jobs of power.

1:20:47 Adam Yeah.

1:20:47 Drew Think about it, because there are certain businesses, a guy runs a business, goes down, and the wife steps in, because the power stays with that family.

1:20:53 Adam We need a guy to sit in this chair, which is basically what that is.

1:20:57 Drew We don't want the power to change hands, is it that? Right.

1:20:59 Adam But the notion that because it's the guy's wife, she should be able to do it, it's like saying, if something happened to Vince Lombardi, his wife should be able to coach the Packers.

1:21:11 Drew Those aren't jobs of pure power, though. Those are just pure power positions.

1:21:14 Adam Well, that's a power position.

1:21:16 Drew No, those are just skills.

1:21:17 Adam Would you argue that Senator, and I know, and by the way, like I said, this is by the way how you know politicians, a lame job that anyone can do when your wife is stepping in and doing it because I said, Well, it's supposed to be a job like that. Apply that to any other profession, whether it's carpenter or a musician or doctor or attorney or bullfighter.

1:21:38 The Vandals Bullfighter.

1:21:38 Adam There's no way your wife is going to step in and do it or vice versa. If the wife is the attorney, the wife is the doctor, there's no way the husband who's sitting home is going to start seeing patients.

1:21:49 Drew Yep, that's right.

1:21:50 Adam As a matter of fact, what other job is there besides maybe receptionist?

1:21:54 The Vandals Beekeeper.

1:21:55 Drew That what? That's what I can step in for?

1:21:57 Caller Yes.

1:21:58 Adam That means it's not a job.

1:21:59 Drew No, strangely, like CEOs and owners of businesses and stuff, that's where that happens. Board of directors.

1:22:04 Adam If I had a job.

1:22:05 Drew Power position.

1:22:06 Adam If I had a job where something happened to me and my wife was able to step in and do the same job, I would kill myself.

1:22:13 The Vandals What about the Los Angeles Rams?

1:22:15 Drew George Frontera. There you go.

1:22:18 The Vandals If I died, my label, my wife would just step right in because it would be who are you going to be scared of and keep doing your job.

1:22:25 Drew And who do you want?

1:22:27 The Vandals I would want my wife to be.

1:22:28 Drew You want to retain the power of the family.

1:22:29 Adam But the point is they're not doing anything.

1:22:32 Drew Some of them do quite.

1:22:33 The Vandals I don't do anything. That's the thing.

1:22:34 Caller Oh, yes.

1:22:35 Adam That's my point. You have to not do anything.

1:22:37 The Vandals I just have to be around and have them.

1:22:39 Drew Why don't we play a Vandals song, and we can continue our political discussion off the air?

1:22:42 Adam Really? Off the air?

1:22:43 Drew Yeah.

1:22:43 Adam It's that exciting? Wait a minute, everyone. Hey, Josh is here. Hey, what's happening? Come on, buddy.

1:22:48 Caller How are you doing? Yeah.

1:22:51 Drew Adam was just talking about his...

1:22:52 Adam We're doing a radio, you know?

1:22:54 The Vandals Radio show.

1:22:54 Caller There he comes.

1:22:56 Adam All right, let's go to a song.

1:22:58 The Vandals Yeah, why not?

1:22:58 Adam This one's called Jackass.

1:25:18 Caller I'm just a jackass.

1:26:18 Adam Yeah, that was the Vandals off of Look What I Almost Stepped In, new CD. Josh is here with Joe.

1:26:27 The Vandals Yeah.

1:26:27 Adam Yeah.

1:26:28 Caller Here we is.

1:26:29 Adam He's putting his headphones on. All right. A very rare appearance from Josh and Vandals.

1:26:34 The Vandals I got my ears on.

1:26:35 Adam We've got questions lined up for you. Let's enjoy them while we can.

1:26:38 The Vandals Let's do this.

1:26:39 Adam Let's talk to, you weren't fagging off of yourself, were you? Hey, easy.

1:26:43 Caller Easy.

1:26:45 The Vandals Maybe. Angel.

1:26:46 Drew Faggot better run. Angel, 25.

1:26:49 Caller Hello.

1:26:49 Drew Hi.

1:26:50 Caller Hi.

1:26:51 Drew Stop.

1:26:53 Caller Okay.

1:26:53 Adam You want to gamble on her already?

1:26:54 Drew Yeah.

1:26:55 Adam Really? I didn't get her voice.

1:26:56 Drew Go ahead.

1:26:57 Adam Keep going.

1:27:00 Caller I was calling because I have this problem. Like I masturbate a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, and I heard Drew talking one time that it was maybe related to some disorder.

1:27:14 Adam Well, you dyke off with yourself. Killer.

1:27:18 The Vandals Are you a lezzy?

1:27:20 Caller No.

1:27:20 Adam Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dudes, it's cool when a chick does it.

1:27:24 Caller Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, it's cool.

1:27:25 Caller Oh yeah.

1:27:26 Adam That's cool.

1:27:27 Caller Yeah, I like that.

1:27:28 Adam Yeah.

1:27:28 The Vandals It's kind of turn on. You know what I mean? I wouldn't do it.

1:27:32 Adam Angel? Yeah. Yeah, it's cool.

1:27:34 Caller Go ahead.

1:27:36 Caller Anyway, I heard Dudes talking one time like it might be related to some sort of disorder because it's not necessarily something that I want to do.

1:27:44 Drew What are you talking about all the time? We're not gonna, we're not gonna gamble on this?

1:27:47 The Vandals What are you gambling on?

1:27:48 Adam Yeah, we're gambling on our past. All right, hold on, Angel, hold on.

1:27:52 Drew Let me just add a couple quick-

1:27:53 Adam No, no, too late, we're gambling. Here we go. Joe, Josh, you got a dollar? You got some money?

1:28:01 The Vandals That's all I got.

1:28:01 Adam What is that?

1:28:02 The Vandals No one can break it for me. It's a thousand dollar bill. No, I'm just kidding. It's a ten thousand dollar bill.

1:28:06 Adam What is that? I'll give you a dollar. I might be able to break it. I got some cash. What do you want? What do you got? Was it twenty? We got twenty? A hundred. Was that a hundred? I might be able to break that.

1:28:18 Drew What do you do with all the cash, Adam?

1:28:19 Adam I don't because I pay the guys who work at my house cash.

1:28:22 Drew Oh, that's nice. Is there anybody from the IRS is listening?

1:28:25 Adam Yeah.

1:28:25 Drew Mr. Corolla, thanks.

1:28:26 Adam I pay a dollar each a dollar a week.

1:28:28 The Vandals My buddy Joe's lending me a dollar, so.

1:28:30 Adam OK, right. So is this right? Did I put in OK? We're cool. Are we going to gamble on Angel's Pass?

1:28:35 Drew Yeah.

1:28:36 Adam All right. She excessively masturbates. She sounds like a little girl. I'm going sexual abuse.

1:28:41 Drew OK, let's get real specific.

1:28:43 Adam In the vagina. You mean perpetrated by who?

1:28:48 Drew Yeah. What age? And what was her family like?

1:28:53 Adam Oh, drunken dad.

1:28:55 The Vandals You guys get to look at this and really absorb.

1:28:57 Adam Drunken dad did it.

1:28:59 Drew That's all it says.

1:29:00 Adam I'm going drunken dad, Joe.

1:29:02 Drew OK, drunken dad is sexual abuse. What age?

1:29:04 Adam How old was dad? Forty-one.

1:29:06 Drew No, how old was Angel when she was abused?

1:29:08 Adam I was kidding. Between the ages of four and seven. OK, go ahead, Joe.

1:29:15 The Vandals I'm seeing an older mixed-race boyfriend.

1:29:19 Drew That's it?

1:29:19 The Vandals Yeah, like late twenties.

1:29:21 Adam Did what? No, see, we're going for the past, though.

1:29:23 Drew Like childhood.

1:29:25 Adam Yeah, childhood.

1:29:25 The Vandals On the childhood.

1:29:27 Drew What makes a sexual compulsive person? Rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, abandonment. It could be nothing. Bipolar disorder.

1:29:37 Adam Smart money's on nothing sometimes.

1:29:40 The Vandals Is divorce too easy?

1:29:42 Drew No.

1:29:42 The Vandals It's too easy?

1:29:43 Adam No.

1:29:43 The Vandals Early divorce.

1:29:44 The Vandals That makes you masturbate?

1:29:45 Adam 50-50, though. Early divorce and what?

1:29:48 The Vandals Dad was a tuba soloist. Tuba soloist.

1:29:51 Adam At Disneyland?

1:29:52 The Vandals Yeah.

1:29:52 Drew What if dad beat on mom or something?

1:29:54 The Vandals Early divorce, some violence against the...

1:29:56 Drew She saw dad beating off?

1:29:58 The Vandals Saw dad beating off.

1:29:59 Adam Ouch.

1:30:01 The Vandals Hey, it's all good.

1:30:02 Adam Josh, what do you think?

1:30:03 The Vandals I'm saying lack of a dude.

1:30:06 Adam Not, no.

1:30:06 Caller We're going to take it opposite of that.

1:30:08 Drew What in childhood creates a sexual compulsive?

1:30:11 Adam Yeah.

1:30:12 Caller Wow.

1:30:13 The Vandals Oh, I'm saying divorce and then stepdad came in and did it. Divorce and stepdad.

1:30:17 Drew Good one.

1:30:19 Adam Just go alcoholic dad, ZZ.

1:30:21 The Vandals Okay, alcoholic dad. Alcoholic gay dad.

1:30:24 Drew I'm going to go no addiction.

1:30:27 Adam No addiction.

1:30:28 Drew A really nicely put together family, but a bad choice in a babysitter, which is around eight to nine. And it wasn't like overt sexual abuse, but like a lot of inappropriate-

1:30:38 Adam Diddling. Diddling.

1:30:39 Drew Diddling.

1:30:40 Adam Nice.

1:30:40 Caller Diddling.

1:30:41 Adam Nice. Angel?

1:30:42 The Vandals The answer is.

1:30:43 Caller Okay, Drew won.

1:30:45 Adam Son of a bitch.

1:30:46 The Vandals Is that your final answer?

1:30:47 Caller Yes, it is.

1:30:48 Adam Good family.

1:30:50 The Vandals A diddler.

1:30:51 Caller I had a good family. Like my mom was gone, but my dad was good.

1:30:55 Adam Oh, Drew, don't touch that money. Your mom was gone?

1:30:58 Caller Yeah.

1:30:59 Adam Where was she?

1:31:01 Caller She just left.

1:31:02 Adam Ooh. At what age?

1:31:05 Caller Five.

1:31:06 Adam Five.

1:31:06 Drew That's not a good family.

1:31:07 Adam Left for good?

1:31:08 The Vandals She's only gone for five minutes.

1:31:09 Caller Well, no. I mean, as I got older, I developed a relationship with her on my own.

1:31:14 Drew Okay. So, a man with a babysitter?

1:31:17 Caller And not with the babysitter, but with the stepmother's brother was like inappropriate with me. Not necessarily.

1:31:24 The Vandals That was my answer.

1:31:25 Caller But inappropriate.

1:31:27 Adam Stepmother's brother?

1:31:28 Drew Step uncle.

1:31:28 The Vandals That's pretty close to stepdad.

1:31:30 Drew Step uncle. And he was not, he just sort of fondled you that kind of thing. Yeah.

1:31:35 Adam Yeah. So, and he just, how old were you?

1:31:39 Caller I was probably nine, ten years old.

1:31:42 Adam All right. Drew got to nine and the ten part. He did drop the ball in the perfect family though. What happened to your mom? Is she doing drugs or something?

1:31:50 Caller No. She was really young when she had me and she just kind of left and met this other guy. And when she met him, he didn't like want me to be there or anything. And so she pretty much.

1:32:02 Drew How was the step mom? How was the step mom?

1:32:05 Caller Evil.

1:32:06 Drew Evil step mom?

1:32:07 Caller Yes.

1:32:08 The Vandals I have one of those.

1:32:09 Adam My sister, my step mom sister probably. I had an evil step mom.

1:32:14 Caller Oh, okay.

1:32:15 Adam Hey, Angel.

1:32:16 Caller Yeah.

1:32:17 Adam So how many times did this happen with the step uncle?

1:32:21 Caller Um, God, a lot.

1:32:24 Adam A lot.

1:32:25 Caller Yeah. Like whenever he was left alone with me.

1:32:27 Adam And how old was he?

1:32:28 Drew Was he babysitting you? That kind of thing?

1:32:30 Caller Yeah.

1:32:31 Adam How old was he?

1:32:32 Caller He was, um, I'm not even sure yet to be in his thirties.

1:32:36 Adam Oh, what a lovely, lovely man. An old guy. And he didn't have sex with you?

1:32:41 Caller No, not sex or anything. He just pretty much touched me inappropriately.

1:32:46 Adam Oh, so he was a decent enough guy. And now have you ever got any therapy?

1:32:51 Caller No.

1:32:51 Adam No.

1:32:52 Drew But Angel, that-

1:32:52 Adam What do you do? Do you dance for a living?

1:32:55 Caller No.

1:32:56 Drew No, Angel's just got this one thing.

1:32:58 Adam All right.

1:32:58 Caller No, I work at a school.

1:33:00 Drew How often do you masturbate?

1:33:01 Adam Hold on, you dance at a school?

1:33:03 Caller No, I work at a school.

1:33:04 Adam You work dancing at a school?

1:33:06 Drew How often do you masturbate?

1:33:08 Caller Like three or four times a day.

1:33:10 Drew Okay, so really, this is what I described was sort of a recipe for sexual compulsion and somebody who's otherwise sort of well put together.

1:33:17 Adam Take one part uncle and the other part semen.

1:33:19 Drew And it would be a good idea for you to get some therapy to help you sort of break out of this pattern where you sexualize your feelings and where you consistently sort of reenact the victimization that you've suffered at that age. And plus there's some heavy stuff there left over from having an abandoning mom.

1:33:39 Adam Let's give Drew three dollars.

1:33:40 Drew Give Joe his money back. Give Joe one dollar back.

1:33:42 The Vandals Because I got the step uncle.

1:33:44 Adam I got the step uncle.

1:33:45 The Vandals Step uncle sex.

1:33:46 Adam Oh, Drew didn't have his page on vibrate. I'm sorry. Lost the money everybody. So close. So close, Drew. It's too bad.

1:33:54 Drew He's watching me twitch.

1:33:57 Adam And the thing that's funny about Drew is this two bucks is a big deal to him. Is it Drew, Drew? It's a big deal, right?

1:34:04 The Vandals Why doesn't he get the money?

1:34:05 Adam He doesn't get the money because he didn't have his page on vibrate. He should have done that. He's being docked now.

1:34:11 The Vandals Okay.

1:34:11 Adam You know what I mean? This is like in the NFL. It's like if you punch a referee or something. That's what this is the equivalent of. I see. He's being fined by the league. All right. We'll be back with the Vandals after this.

1:34:24 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:34:26 Caller So get your problems ready.

1:34:33 Caller You're listening to Loveline right here in 94.7 in RK.

1:34:45 Caller Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

1:34:49 Caller 94. NRK.

1:35:09 The Vandals I like this record.

1:35:11 Adam That's the Queens of the Stone Age. They were in here a few weeks back.

1:35:15 The Vandals Nice guys. Were they drunk?

1:35:17 Adam Most people are drunk and I don't know it.

1:35:20 The Vandals You let Queens in here?

1:35:21 The Vandals Dude, whatever.

1:35:22 Caller No, no, dude.

1:35:24 Adam No, dude. That's the name of the band.

1:35:26 Caller Whoa.

1:35:27 Adam Whatever.

1:35:27 The Vandals I'd beat them back into the Stone Age.

1:35:29 Adam Yeah.

1:35:30 The Vandals Yeah. Word, word, word.

1:35:32 Adam Josh, you're both here from the Vandals. We're going to hear a little snippet from Josh's solo project, which I hear is the greatest CD in the world.

1:35:40 The Vandals It kicks much ass. Trust me.

1:35:42 Adam It kicks mega or minor ass?

1:35:44 Caller Mega.

1:35:45 Adam Mega? Yeah.

1:35:45 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:35:46 Adam We're going to hear just a little snippet of it because it does use some profanity. We haven't been able to do one.

1:35:51 The Vandals This song is called Playboy Mansion.

1:35:52 Adam Let's hear it. That's a true that was just a part before the swearing starts. We're just gonna a little bit. Put your cans back on. Remember that's thank you for the appraisal. That is called the one minute orgy.

1:36:41 The Vandals The notorious one man orgy.

1:36:43 Adam A one man orgy.

1:36:46 The Vandals It was going to be called Clown Penis dot fart. And I totally pushed out the last second.

1:36:50 Drew Really?

1:36:51 The Vandals Yeah, Clown Penis dot fart.

1:36:52 Drew That was a bit on Saturday Night Live was very funny.

1:36:54 Adam The notorious. Well, how do you not been up that late in a long time, Drew? I was having to take that for you.

1:37:00 The Vandals It was a while ago.

1:37:02 Adam Give the web address out for joshfreeze.com.

1:37:08 The Vandals And vandals.com.

1:37:09 The Vandals Anyone want to talk to Josh?

1:37:10 Adam He's standing at the tube in the tree.

1:37:12 The Vandals His tube is ours. tubazar.com. His license plate says TubaZar. T-U-B-A-Z-A-R.

1:37:19 Adam What must it like to be, what must it be like to be just sort of come together with some funky novelty instrument in age 11 and just have that dominate the entire rest of your life? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:37:31 The Vandals That's the Freeze family. The tuba, the drum guy, his brother's saxophone.

1:37:35 Adam It's not a licensed plate. It's hanging from your tree.

1:37:38 The Vandals My dad has Mickey Mouse playing the tuba tattooed on his butt cheek.

1:37:42 Drew Listen, if you're going to excel at something, you want to pick the violin, check it out. I picked the tuba.

1:37:47 The Vandals When I was growing up, my dad's going, you can dye your hair whatever color you want. You can stay out as late as you want. You can have girls spend the night. God damn it. Don't do drugs and don't get a tattoo, whatever you do. So then his sons grow up and move out of the house and he's going through his midlife crisis. And my ex-girlfriend, girlfriend of the time, came down with me to Orange County to have Thanksgiving. And he pulls us in the side room during this big Thanksgiving dinner. And he goes, come here, check this out. And we go in the side room and he starts dropping his pants in front of me and my fiance. Whoa, wait a minute. How are you doing?

1:38:19 Caller Showing you his junk, dude?

1:38:20 The Vandals No, no, you know.

1:38:21 The Vandals Your dad's gay too?

1:38:22 The Vandals His back door. He shows us his back door.

1:38:25 Caller Whatever.

1:38:26 The Vandals And there's Mickey Mouse playing the tuba right there on his ass. He got a tattoo of the hypocrite.

1:38:30 Adam Was he drunk?

1:38:31 The Vandals No, he's a reformed recovering alcoholic.

1:38:34 Adam Wow. What is the drink of choice for a guy who plays the tuba? I'm going beer out of a big stein.

1:38:41 The Vandals I think he likes old fashions.

1:38:43 The Vandals He likes vodka, I think. A lot of it.

1:38:46 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. How old was he when he got that tat?

1:38:51 The Vandals 52.

1:38:52 Adam Holy Christ, there's still time for you to rest. We will take a little break. We'll be back in the vandals after this. All right, everybody, the Vandals go out and give the website one more time.

1:39:15 Caller vandals.com.

1:39:16 The Vandals Right. joshfreeze.com. And Kung Fu records.com.

1:39:19 Adam Tubas for me.

1:39:21 The Vandals tubas.com.

1:39:23 Adam Tubalugation.

1:39:24 The Vandals upinu.com.

1:39:27 Caller drdrew.com. drdrew.com.

1:39:29 The Vandals There you go.

1:39:30 Adam That's right, in the temple of Dr. Drew.

1:39:32 The Vandals Oh, amazon.com.

1:39:33 Caller So, until next time.

1:39:35 Adam amazon.com.

1:39:36 The Vandals cnn.com.

1:39:36 Adam Thanks, guys, we do appreciate it. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:39:42 Dude, you beat off.

1:39:44 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2000