Episode 1000754887051

1:40 Voiceover For an adult audience, Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:53 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:57 Voiceover Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, Dr. Penny Pinscher over there, Dr. Drew, everybody. 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Yes, indeed, he did. Drew, you went to little league practice today with the boys?

2:16 Drew I did, yeah, sure. That's good.

2:18 Adam That's a simple pleasure right there.

2:20 Drew Oh, yeah. I got to catch for the coach. He's pitching to the kids.

2:23 Adam Hardball?

2:24 Drew Yeah, the kids are hip.

2:26 Adam Yeah.

2:26 Drew Seriously.

2:27 Adam Yeah, they got Viking stock, those kids.

2:30 Drew Yeah, yeah.

2:31 Adam Yeah, you're.

2:31 Drew Would you would you complain about my wife is being converted into?

2:35 Adam Yeah. Hostile energy.

2:36 Drew Hostile sports energy.

2:38 Yeah.

2:39 Adam Yeah, there's a couple of roughnecks. And the girl, Paulina, she's a terror on the ice. You got some kids there.

2:47 Drew It's hot, Adam. It's hot.

2:49 Adam They're Aryan kids. Yeah. You're hot over. Yeah.

2:52 Drew Yeah. Ninety-five, something like that.

2:54 Adam Yeah.

2:54 Drew You get a load of that?

2:55 Adam Yeah. Very hot. Very dry.

2:57 Drew You're too busy in Hollywood.

3:00 Adam Yeah. I'm in Hollywood. I was shooting something in a limousine indoors on a soundstage. Yeah. TV's a weird thing. They put the limo inside a soundstage. They shut all the lights, and then they make pretend it's at night, and then you sit in a limo that's not moving and film for ten hours. It's a bizarre world that I've somehow stumbled into. Sarah?

3:23 Hello?

3:24 Adam You're 26?

3:26 Caller What's up?

3:27 Well, my boyfriend likes to look at porn, like of women that don't look like me.

3:33 Drew Well, the women in porn don't look like anybody.

3:35 Right, I mean ethnically.

3:38 Adam Oh, interesting.

3:40 What does that mean, that I'm not in his fantasies?

3:42 Drew Well, what are we talking about? Just give us a hint.

3:45 Adam Are you Asian?

3:46 Caller I am not.

3:47 That's the hint, though.

3:49 Adam They're Asian?

3:50 Drew The point is?

3:50 Yeah.

3:51 Adam Interesting. What's your ethnicity?

3:54 I am just a plain old man, white.

3:57 Drew And he only watches that kind of porn?

3:59 Yes.

4:00 Drew Has he ever been with an Asian woman?

4:01 Caller Yeah, yes.

4:03 Drew Does he have a preference that way?

4:04 Yes.

4:05 Drew Well, you should feel good. He's so into you that he's willing to put up with you until he can fall in love with an Asian. No, no. It overcomes that sense of, you know, that detraction he has for that particular ethnicity. He likes her. Don't worry about it.

4:18 But even though he's still looking at it, that's...

4:20 Drew And you know what? It'd be like somebody who's into the, you know, some circus jugs. Yeah.

4:27 Caller Wait a minute.

4:29 Drew Somebody. Somebody.

4:30 Adam How dare you?

4:32 Drew And then is involved with someone who is more normal.

4:35 Adam Yeah. Well, look at it this way. For porn is a lot like what video games are to kids. And that there's a fantasy element of it, but it doesn't mean that's their everyday life.

4:50 Drew Right.

4:50 Adam It's an escape. Often times a lot of guys like black chick porn, circus jug porn, Asian porn.

4:58 Drew All these years, you've never mentioned the word circus. You just invent that tonight.

5:02 Adam Maybe it just flew out. Most guys like to turn it up a notch or two on their porn and then they're a little more subdued in their real life.

5:12 Drew Which makes kind of sense, doesn't it?

5:15 Adam Yeah, better than to watch boring white folk, flat-chested white folk with bangs, have porn, you know, on porn and then date the novelty stripper. That's a bigger pain in the ass. So don't worry about it.

5:30 Drew They're fine.

5:33 Adam What are some of the names of these movies?

5:36 Oh, it's just like internet stuff.

5:41 Adam For a fleeting second, I might get some kind of answer, but no way. No way. Not 120.

5:46 Drew The answer is no. I just love the fact that you've become the man.

5:49 Yeah.

5:51 Adam I told you once, I like a little Asian porn myself. Oh really? Big fan of Mink.

5:56 Drew Oh, of course.

5:57 Adam She's Asian. Number one Asian big boob queen.

6:00 Number one Asian big boob queen.

6:04 Adam Oh yeah. I wonder if they make fun of the way she talks even in her hometown. You know, in her native land, in Korea. Yeah. There's an Asian guy standing next to the Asian porn section. I waited for him to clear out before I went in there.

6:20 Drew Why?

6:20 Adam I felt weird. I didn't want him to think I was exploiting his people.

6:23 Drew I see.

6:24 Adam You know what I mean? Think about it.

6:26 Drew How about if he were standing at the.

6:29 Adam White isn't an ethnicity anymore. That's open. That's fair game. I'm just saying, pick the ethnicity and the porn you like. Put the male of that ethnicity in that porn section. You'd wait for him to clear out before you grab possibly his sister or aunt to whack off to. That's all I'm saying. Chrissy?

6:47 Yes.

6:48 Adam You're 24?

6:49 Caller Yes, hi.

6:50 Hey.

6:51 Caller What's basically going on is I'm married and I've had two kids in approximately, I don't know, they're 13 months apart. My youngest is a little over a year old right now. After I had them, I pretty much lost my sex drive completely.

7:07 Drew That's pretty much normal.

7:10 Caller I just didn't know when it should come back. My OB was giving me testosterone injections. Wow. But you never checked my hormone levels.

7:18 Drew Well, hormone levels aren't things that you can, it's very complicated. Let me just say in general principles, they're not things you can easily measure. You can't interpret the measurements very well. Some doctors do specific tests for specific concerns. But for the most part, it's not a particularly useful test.

7:38 Adam What did the testosterone shots do for you?

7:41 Caller Well, they increased desire, but they didn't increase like my responses to the entire situations, like I'm not lubricating and things of that sort.

7:49 Adam What else did they do for you? Anything else?

7:52 Grow hair. Yeah.

7:55 Adam What else?

7:56 Caller Well, like I grew hair on my chin, which I didn't necessarily care for.

8:00 Drew Was it an obstetrics? A gynecologist did this?

8:02 Caller Yeah.

8:03 Adam And did you get more aggressive? Or did you start riding the horn more when you were driving?

8:09 Caller No. I mean, I'm a real laid-back person, so I didn't really see anything in that respect. It did increase my sex drive a bit, but I didn't feel that the benefits were significant enough for me to go through it.

8:25 Adam Well, it's kind of interesting in that it got you into bed, but then you were a woman after that. So it's like the testosterone drove you into the sexual encounter, but after...

8:37 Caller You can't by no means say it made me like a sex demon or anything like that. It just got me a little more interested.

8:42 Drew But it's interesting. Some women do respond to testosterone very powerfully. I'm going to confirm what you're saying here, but I want to have her help us interpret this, because listen, men had testosterone-driven sexual orientation, and women can get that way. Some women get that way. But most women need or at least experience themselves sexually in relation to their sort of estrogenic effects, the estrogen influences on their body, which is what makes them receptive. It's an issue of receptivity. And so, let me talk to her again. Does the notion of receptivity sound familiar to you, or do you understand what I'm saying?

9:16 Caller Yes, I understand what you're saying. I guess that's probably where I feel my problem is.

9:19 Drew All right, I would agree. And I'll tell you the very simple solution to this, is just go on the birth control pill.

9:24 Caller Okay, because I have an IUD right now, so you think that would pretty much take care of it?

9:28 Drew That's what I usually recommend people do when they have the sex drive, particularly the triphasic pills.

9:32 Adam I wonder why your OBGYN didn't bring that up? It went right to his dastrod.

9:35 Drew I think that's kind of weird, but good. You may need a little testosterone mixed in with the pill sometimes, too. And make sure your mood is okay and make sure you don't have any psychological sort of issues either about being a mom or between you and your husband and his issues about you being a mom.

9:49 Adam I still can't figure out why we have to spell OBGYN.

9:53 Drew Just call it OBGYN?

9:55 Adam Well, it's an abbreviated term, right? I mean, how many abbreviated terms do you mark all the letters out that way?

10:02 Drew Because OBGYN is just offensive.

10:03 Adam All right. I understand.

10:06 Drew But that illustrates how differently we re-experience ourselves. She gets the testosterone. It's like, yeah, I want to have sex, but not as a woman. You know what I mean?

10:15 Adam Yeah.

10:15 Drew And the point you're making, I think, is very interesting.

10:17 Adam Thank you. I'm brilliant. Matt?

10:21 Yeah?

10:22 Adam You're 21.

10:23 Caller 21, yeah.

10:23 Adam What's up?

10:24 Caller Hey, my girlfriend, she just got a boob job.

10:28 Nice. Good time.

10:29 Caller Great for me. And she wants to become like a stripper now.

10:35 Adam No better news.

10:37 Caller What's that?

10:38 Adam The good news just keeps coming.

10:39 Caller Well, yeah, no kidding. So, I don't know, what am I, just not doing the job for her anymore, or what?

10:46 Drew Oh, which is why she wants to be a stripper?

10:48 What's that?

10:49 Adam Maybe she wants money.

10:51 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, you know, the money, she talked about the money, but, I mean, you know, we always have to go out and have a good time dancing and stuff. She enjoys dancing, but I just didn't think she would ever take it to that point.

11:02 Drew She needs to be looked at by Matt. She needs to be in control of Matt.

11:06 Caller Maybe she wants the money, though.

11:07 Adam Well, yeah, I know, but I just bring that up because Matt did a great job answering the question. Well, she wants the money, but we always go out and have a good time dancing. Well, that checks money off the list.

11:17 Caller Well, I'm one of those guys that, you know, can be kind of jealous.

11:20 Drew Yeah. Well, she had a good because that means you're sort of a you'll work with her for a while. Well, no, she needs.

11:27 Caller I don't know how long I can put up with that kind of stuff.

11:29 Drew I mean, I'm saying we have to talk behind your back here for a second.

11:32 Adam I said, you said good. And I said, yeah, that means you'll work with her for a while. I mean, if she needs she needs a little conflict.

11:39 Drew Yeah. Oh, I see. I thought you made.

11:41 Adam Well, I mean, what do you mean?

11:42 Drew Work it out with her for a while. Like he put up with it for a while.

11:45 Yeah. Yeah.

11:47 Adam He's a kind of idiot that flips her cookie.

11:48 Drew Right. He'll make. Yeah. He'll make the grade for a while. Yeah.

11:53 Adam What does she do now for work?

11:55 Caller Well, she works at a school right now. She's kind of like a substitute teacher.

11:59 Drew Kindergarten teacher.

12:01 Well, yeah.

12:02 Adam Same job.

12:02 Drew Good times.

12:04 Adam Oh, yeah. She got energy this one. She want to do topless or bottomless?

12:08 Caller Full nude. Bachelor parties.

12:10 So I can't.

12:11 Adam Hold on a second. How do you make that transition from substitute school teacher to full teacher to licking whipped cream and jimmies off some other chick's ass and they simulated lesbian act in front of 14 drunken guys at the Ramada Inn. I mean, that seems like a big leap.

12:32 Caller Yeah, that's kind of a big jump.

12:33 Yeah.

12:34 Adam Matt, that didn't strike you as strange at all?

12:38 Caller Well, no. I mean, it was totally unexpected. I mean, I knew she was going to go in, you know, to get the job done.

12:43 Adam Yeah, I don't believe Matt. I don't believe Matt. Oh, I do. Why?

12:46 Caller Adam, why don't you believe me?

12:47 Adam I know you're full of crap now.

12:49 Caller Why?

12:49 Adam I just know you are.

12:50 Caller Why?

12:52 Adam I feel it in my bones, Matt.

12:53 Drew I feel it too now.

12:54 Adam Sorry, buddy.

12:55 Caller Oh, well, at least Drew's on my side.

12:56 Adam All right, but tell me seriously. I feel it.

13:00 Drew I feel it too now.

13:00 Caller Yeah.

13:01 Adam Sorry, Matt.

13:02 Caller Okay.

13:03 Caller I gotta go, buddy.

13:04 Adam But if not, if not, Matt, Matt, Matt, do me a favor though. Just to tell us, tell us, we won't talk about the question anymore, but just tell us made up or not.

13:15 Caller No, this is true.

13:16 Adam Let's do it.

13:17 Caller I swear to God. All right. I had a Bible. I'd be swearing on it, man.

13:19 Adam All right.

13:20 Drew But man, he's got to have that quality about him. You know what I mean?

13:23 Caller All right. You got to watch out for that Adam.

13:26 Drew No, no, but you took on a little bit of bravado, Matt, that triggered me to think maybe this is BS too.

13:30 But why?

13:32 Drew It's just a quality. Yeah, the way you did it. Yeah, the way you just did it is what we look for in people who will be asking us. But it's fine. Well, it's an instinct. Let's just forget. I'll go with you.

13:41 Caller OK.

13:41 Drew But did she have an abusive dad? Is that her whole story?

13:45 Caller Well, no, I mean, I don't know. She didn't.

13:46 Drew How long you been with her?

13:47 Caller I think a family is all intact and no abuse, no alcoholism.

13:52 Drew Something.

13:52 Caller I mean, it's crazy.

13:53 Drew No, something there. How long you been with her?

13:56 Caller I've been with her for probably like six months now.

13:59 Drew Is she ever manic depressive or anything like that?

14:02 Caller No, I mean, she's happy. Go lucky.

14:04 Drew Yeah, but it's not there's something here. It's something either manic depression or abuse that wasn't right.

14:11 Caller I didn't understand. I mean, what? Where did this all come from? And she really didn't do any. I mean, we go out to dance clubs and, you know, she'd have a good time.

14:19 Adam And how does she tell you she wants to do bachelor parties and stuff? She have any friends that do this?

14:24 Caller No, I mean, no, she doesn't. I mean, all of her friends are, you know, real nice gals. I mean, they're not, you know, good little Mormon girls, but all right.

14:34 Adam So why don't you tell her just to start slow with topless places?

14:38 Caller I don't want her to do it at all.

14:39 Drew Have you told her that?

14:40 Caller Well, yeah, I've told her that. All of our friends have told her that.

14:44 Drew Maybe just how about getting her a therapist? Explore it before she crosses over a boundary that she might regret.

14:50 Adam Well, here's the thing. If you're going with someone who decides they want to get into doing bachelor parties, male or female, that's ground for dismissal. If you tell them I don't want you to do this and they do it, you can break up with them.

15:05 Drew Yeah, but he's into her.

15:07 Adam I know he's into her, but she's got something going on.

15:09 Drew No doubt. And Matt's her boyfriend.

15:13 Adam And I'm still missing the part of the story where she said she wants to do bachelor parties in full note. But she's a school teacher. She only hangs out with school teacher friends. She wants to get up on stage and shake her ass and get a little male attention. Fine. Go hit the amateur night at the booby bar down the street in your bikini or your thong or whatever and drop your top for the last song. But I'm doing bachelor parties. I'm doing full new dancing. That's like she had a, you know, she's got a tumor or something.

15:40 Drew That's why I was thinking about Buller. Manic. I don't really know what she's doing.

15:43 Adam I'm not so sure about Matt either.

15:45 Caller I'm with her.

15:46 Adam Lynn, you're 17.

15:47 Drew I'm a Bivalent also, but I was with him.

15:49 Adam Yeah.

15:49 Caller Lynn.

15:51 Adam Call her Lynn. All right. Put Lynn back on hold.

15:55 Drew No.

15:56 Adam No? Lynn's gone?

15:59 Drew I don't like that one.

16:00 I haven't.

16:00 Adam Really? Yeah. Duncan?

16:02 Yeah.

16:03 Adam Why'd you pick it if you don't like that call?

16:04 Drew I didn't know she, no, I like the call. I didn't know that she was not going to be there. People can't wait till we get to the phone.

16:10 Adam Put her back on hold.

16:13 Drew Hey, you're the one that advocates the tough love.

16:15 Adam Tough love for you, not for anybody else.

16:16 Drew We should not walk away from the phone when we're.

16:19 Adam No, I know there may have been some problem with the phone line or something. It happens. Wow.

16:24 Drew But no, when people are not there, they know what's happening. They're out to get a sandwich or something.

16:28 Adam Drew, it's happened a number of times on the show when we punch up somebody, we have to call their name a handful of times before they don't recognize their name. They use a fake name. Jesus, I understand.

16:41 Yeah, I swear to Christ.

16:42 Drew Yes, that's true. And then they usually go, OK. And then sometimes we send it back over there. And 10 minutes later, they come back to the phone.

16:50 Adam OK, I put them on hold. That wasn't enough. We had to drop them. Thank you, Duncan. Go ahead.

16:56 I'm 16 and I'm like I'm uncircumcised. And I like went to the doctor about it and they said that it's like a really expensive surgery.

17:06 Drew And then, it's not really expensive. It's just really painful.

17:10 And I masturbate a lot. And I always think like if I was to like have sex with a girl, like she wouldn't like me because I'm uncircumcised.

17:17 Drew That's not true. She wouldn't like you because you're so worried about being uncircumcised.

17:23 Adam And then, I don't believe Duncan that much either, by the way. Maybe it's just me tonight.

17:27 And then, I heard the surgery was just, they just cut the top of the skin.

17:31 Drew Right. But it's a surgery.

17:32 Adam How much is it?

17:33 Drew Make no mistake about it.

17:34 I think it was like one, like almost $1,200.

17:37 Adam That's cheap as surgery goes.

17:39 Well, I was thinking about doing it myself.

17:41 Adam Let me tell you something. Hold on a second there, Duncan. Let me explain the penis and the human body. It's like an expensive European car. It's no Ford Taurus. You know what I'm saying? Drew, you've driven some clunkers in your day. You bang up the fender, the guy wants 300 bucks to fix it. 800 bucks to fix it, you got more in the whole car. How dare you? But now you drive a nice car. You don't expect to get out of anything for under 1500 bucks. Birdcrafts on the windshields, 1000 bucks, right? That's what the body is, isn't it? Surgery, 1200 bucks, not bad.

18:14 Drew I don't know where you're going to get the electric artery units, the sutures, how you can control the bleeding and prevent infection.

18:21 Adam You're not serious about doing it, are you?

18:23 Well, I don't know. All I heard was they just cut it and that was it.

18:27 Drew No, Duncan, it's surgery. Make no mistake about it, it's surgery. Listen, what the girls are not going to like is your lack of self-worth, self-assuredness, preoccupation with things like this. That's what they're not going to like. They're not going to care whether you're circumcised or not.

18:45 Caller Well, how is the surgery done? What do they do?

18:47 Drew I don't know what I'm saying.

18:49 Adam Hey, Duncan.

18:50 Caller What's up?

18:50 Adam You're a pretty weird dude, aren't you?

18:52 Caller Well, I'm with like ten o'clock at night and my mom's asleep and she might hear me on the phone, so I'm trying to be quiet.

18:56 Adam Are you a virgin?

18:58 Yeah.

18:59 Adam What's up with you?

19:00 I don't know.

19:01 Caller I guess like no girls want to have sex with me or something. I like Mack on girls a lot at school and they don't really like me, I guess.

19:10 Adam Yeah, but it's not because you're penis. It's you.

19:12 Drew Right.

19:13 Adam You might as well cut your head off.

19:14 Drew No, no, no. You need to.

19:16 Adam I mean, that's the main part. It's causing the trouble, right?

19:19 Drew Yeah, but the fact that you preoccupy about stuff like this is what they don't like, Duncan.

19:25 Adam You got weird, desperate energy going, Duncan. Right. Chicks freak out with that. Don't make me give my cat speech again.

19:32 Caller Okay.

19:33 Adam For Christ's sake, I'll do it. Duncan, let me help you out, brother.

19:36 Caller Okay, what's up?

19:37 Adam Here's your problem. You got a lot of energy. You got testosterone coursing through your veins, but you don't got a good guidance system. You don't got a good plan.

19:48 Drew No center.

19:49 Adam And if you get a little sketchy around women and they smell a little desperateness, little energy, little rush, a little aggression, they'll freak right out and hide under the refrigerator. They'll hide like a cat hides under the sofa. You're coming off with a lot. You're like a spinning top. You got to mellow out and lay back a little.

20:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I guess.

20:15 Adam OK, yeah, OK, yeah, OK, yeah, OK, yeah, OK, yeah.

20:18 Drew Nope.

20:20 Adam Duncan was either his head was just filled with sawdust or he was full of crap.

20:27 Drew No, he's got it. He's disturbed. Not as it is not a big disturbed like anxiety disorder and the usual affect problems of adolescence and lack of men. This is that this is that man in adolescence right.

20:40 Adam Think about it.

20:41 Drew If we talk to you at sixteen, you would have been close to that.

20:43 Adam No way.

20:44 Drew Yes.

20:44 Adam No way.

20:45 Drew Yes.

20:46 Adam Listen, I may have been a mess, but no way was even close to the idea to call this show.

20:51 Drew I was that.

20:52 Adam No way. Yes. You could have listened.

20:55 Drew Oh, I would have been processing on a different level, but emotionally just about the same.

20:59 Adam You were getting laid at sixteen. Bryan all the way to Chinatown to buy a crate of condoms.

21:05 Drew I remember feeling like he did.

21:09 Adam I need some condoms. Is around I want more condoms. You bring home, you buy case last week. What are you doing with all those condoms? You sell to friends? No, I'm a whore. Don't I know you? Aren't you Pinsky boy? You're Papa Doctor.

21:26 Caller He'll find out about this.

21:29 Adam I call Pasadena. I let all the other doctors know. Drew used to go to Chinatown to buy condoms. That is my favorite Dr. Drew story. Dad was a doctor in Pasadena and didn't want the other pharmacists ratting him out so he made the trek down to Chinatown where he blended in with the round eyes to score himself some skin so he could make love to his lady because he's a very passionate, passionate man everybody. We're going to take ourselves a break. When we come back.

22:02 Drew I could see by the bottle of cuvassier. It's time for us to take a break.

22:06 Adam We'll talk to Michelle who's 16.

22:09 Drew She had a little follow up call.

22:11 Adam Her uncle abused her and he's doing it again. And we'll talk to her about that after that.

22:51 Hey, what the f*** is up? This is Mark from F***ing Blink 182, and you're listening to F***ing Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. F***ing Drew.

22:58 Caller Yes, you is.

23:00 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I thought I was going to Belgium. Okay, now, we are going to talk to Michelle. Michelle called the show, I'm going to say, two months ago, three months ago.

23:15 Drew Six weeks ago, I think it was, yeah.

23:17 Adam Yeah, six weeks, that's it. And told us, told us, told us, her uncle.

23:24 Drew Yeah, her hippie hippie.

23:25 Adam Can't articulate, like, can't articulate yourself any better than that.

23:29 Her cool uncle, yeah.

23:30 Adam Very cool guy, liked to hang out with her and smoke pot, smoke weed with her and get her in a jacuzzi. He was like thirty-five or.

23:38 Drew Yeah, instructed her on what bathing suits to wear.

23:41 Adam Well, gave her a bathing suit that was a little too small for her. It was from her, his girlfriend. It was like out of town or something.

23:51 Caller Oh, my God. Did they hang up on me?

23:52 Drew No, no, we're right here. We're just listening to the music you're playing.

23:55 Caller Oh, you like it?

23:56 Drew No, not really.

23:57 Caller It's the Beatles.

23:59 The Beatles are awesome.

24:02 Drew I don't know how to respond.

24:04 Adam Hey, goofball, turn it down, would you?

24:06 Okay.

24:10 Adam Yeah.

24:10 Drew There we go.

24:11 Adam Maybe the uncle had a point with the molestation.

24:13 Caller Oh, that's really...

24:15 Drew What's happening?

24:16 Caller Not much.

24:19 Caller Things are a lot better now.

24:21 Drew How? Why?

24:22 Caller Well, I went to therapy for it. And she wanted to report it as child abuse, and it wasn't child abuse, you know?

24:30 Drew I understand you see it not as that, but believe me, it was that. And if it wasn't that specifically or overtly with you, he's doing this to other people too.

24:38 Adam How old is your uncle? How old is your uncle? Well, I said thirty five. And it was your, it was his girlfriend's bikini you put on, right?

24:50 Caller Yeah.

24:51 Adam And you guys had had an encounter before, but like you're like he kissed you or tried to kiss you or something?

24:58 Caller No, it wasn't quite kissing. When I was twelve, he grabbed my boobs, basically.

25:06 Drew Yeah, you know that child abuse right there.

25:09 Caller But that was I'm pretty sure it was an accident. I'm not positive.

25:12 Drew It was like given the other behavior you've described, I'd guess not. Not an accident. Yeah. You seem in a much different place with this right now, much more defensive about it. Are you still seeing the therapist?

25:25 Caller No.

25:26 Drew How come?

25:27 Caller Because she wanted to report him. So I was like, I'm not going to see you anymore.

25:31 Drew You see? So you're going to deny the whole thing. Deny it to us, deny it to yourself.

25:35 Adam Let me talk to Drew for one second. She called up a couple of months ago. She was in a kind of a victim role.

25:41 Drew Yeah.

25:41 Adam Now I want to go smack her. You know what I'm saying? What happened to her?

25:46 Drew Well, now she's not going to let us deal with her as the therapist. We're going to be the man also. We're going to be a parent just like the therapist and confront her with reality, and she doesn't want anything to do with that.

25:56 Caller Well, because I really don't think it was.

26:00 Adam Okay, well, look, who cares? Stay away from the guy. Can you do that?

26:05 Yeah, I guess.

26:07 Drew Why did you call us if there was nothing wrong with what you did? And why did we react to it as though it were child abuse, and every adult you've told this story to believes it's child abuse? Why do you think that would be?

26:18 Caller Well, I guess I...

26:21 Drew Maybe it's because it's child abuse. Now, you can choose not to do something about it, but please don't deny reality. Because if you deny reality, you're going to remain the victim, and this guy is going to get after you, or somebody else, somebody worse, is going to get their hands on you. And unless you have your eyes open to reality, you're going to not be able to assess...

26:35 Caller But, I mean, do you think she should have, like, reported it?

26:39 Drew Absolutely. I think, in fact, I think she, by not reporting it, I think she is on sort of thin ice, ethically.

26:45 Adam It's kind of her job.

26:47 Drew Yeah, she has to report stuff like that.

26:48 Caller But then, why tell a therapist things if you don't want them to, you know, like...

26:53 That was the issue.

26:55 Drew You can start out by not telling them who did it and if you really don't want to... If you want to protect that person for some reason, but you need to be able to talk about what happened with the person, with the therapist.

27:05 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

27:06 Caller Um, yeah.

27:07 Adam How's that going?

27:09 Caller Um, whatever.

27:11 I don't know.

27:11 Adam How old is he?

27:14 Caller He'll be 18 in a week.

27:15 Adam Using birth control?

27:17 Yeah. Well, actually, I stopped, though, but...

27:20 Drew Did you stop having sex, too?

27:22 Caller Um, kind of, yeah.

27:24 Drew Kind of?

27:24 Yeah, I did. I stopped.

27:27 Drew Why?

27:28 Caller Um, because I don't like it at all. I just think it's a waste of my time.

27:35 Drew Sex is?

27:36 Yeah.

27:37 Drew Yeah, Michelle, you gotta get back to that therapist.

27:39 Adam How about you just do that?

27:40 Drew Yeah, just get back in and...

27:43 Caller No, but everything I told her, she wanted to report. It wasn't just like that one thing. Oh, it was like a lot of other things.

27:50 Drew Like what else?

27:52 Caller Um, just like about my ex-boss and because me and him were having a relationship.

28:02 Drew So you've been victimized over and over and over again, which again wouldn't surprise us.

28:07 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

28:08 Drew Yeah, we were first sexually abused as a child.

28:10 Caller Um, well, no, I was, um, I think I was, yeah, I was raped at 14.

28:16 Drew Yeah, we'd say something happened before that.

28:18 Caller No, no.

28:19 Adam It just got awful parenting. Okay, so Michelle, here's the deal. You're at a, you're at a crossroads. Okay, do you want to, you want to take charge of your life? Do you want to do something or do you want to just get victimized continuously?

28:31 Caller I'm not going to get victimized anymore. Yeah, that's why I'm not having sex anymore.

28:35 Adam Alright, okay, then just shut yourself off to the world even, so that you can't be intimate with anybody, even people you should be intimate with.

28:43 Drew Which is the flip side of the same coin. You're either, you're going to be victim, victimizer, or just out, as opposed to human being engaged with other human beings.

28:51 Caller Yeah.

28:52 Drew With your eyes open. And that's not going to happen without some treatment of what you've been through.

28:56 Adam Alright, so go back to the therapist, would you please?

28:59 Caller Yeah, I guess I'll try.

29:00 Caller Alright, that's it.

29:01 Adam That's all you can do right now. Yeah.

29:03 Drew Make sure you check out with her again, or just leave it be.

29:05 Adam Listen to some Beatles and go to the Shrink. I will.

29:08 Drew Alright, I'm going to go.

29:10 Adam Alright. She had like good energy, but she got scrambled early. And that's just horrible parenting. Screwball brother. I mean, her uncle.

29:23 Drew That's somebody's brother, the uncle, right?

29:25 Caller Right. Yeah. Yeah.

29:28 Drew The whole system problem here.

29:29 Adam I'd like to take a banter that guy's had. I really would. All right. Let's talk to Gary.

29:37 Yeah.

29:37 Adam Gary, you're 18.

29:39 Caller Yes. My question is, me and my girlfriend's been seeing each other for about three weeks now.

29:48 Adam And lately.

29:50 Caller Go ahead. Lately, we've been having sex. And she had me ejaculate in her. And well, she says she washed it out. She went to the bathroom and washed and everything. I just want to know if there's any chance that some of it might have stayed in and if she can get pregnant.

30:14 Drew Gary, have you ever heard anyone, anywhere describe washing the vagina as a way of achieving contraception?

30:22 Caller I don't know.

30:23 Adam Let me tell you something about sperm. It has amazing adhesive quality. You ever jack off in the sink, Gary? Yeah. You know what a hard time it is getting off the wall of the sink? Hot water, sprain it on there. Yeah.

30:38 Drew These are cells. They mix immediately with your cells.

30:43 Caller She told me she only has two good eggs.

30:45 Drew How the hell does she know that?

30:46 Caller That's bizarre.

30:48 Drew Gary, this is the same woman is washing her vagina, try to wash the sperm out. That will have absolutely no effect at all on contraception.

30:57 Caller So there's I mean there's a good chance she might be able to get.

31:01 Drew The same as if she hadn't washed.

31:03 Adam How old is she?

31:04 Caller She's seventeen.

31:05 Adam Oh boy.

31:06 Drew Does she go to school?

31:08 Caller Yeah she quit school.

31:09 Drew Yeah. No kidding.

31:10 Adam Gary you got a handful here buddy.

31:13 Drew Well it's like it's like it was that Jodie Foster film with the feral child. Yeah it's like now.

31:22 Adam Hey Gary. Yeah. I'm going to explain something to you. You got to listen with three ears okay.

31:28 Caller All right.

31:29 Adam Now you're not a guy who's draws a lot of ass right. You don't meet a lot of chicks.

31:36 Caller Yeah I do actually.

31:38 Adam Now you don't. Not quality tang. Not like what Drew's used to. Now you got yourself a hot little 17 year old honey here. And she's willing to have sex with you. But she's screwed up. And she got some issues. And you are going to get her pregnant. You're going to get locked in early. You're going to get married. You're going to find out after you're married that she's a nut job. But you'll have another kid or two. And then you're 19, 21, and your life is basically screwed from that. You might as well just strap an anchor to your ass and drag it around for the rest of your goddamn life. Don't do it. Don't get... Now, you can have kicks. You can have as much fun as you want with her. But you can't get her pregnant. All of you guys, listen to me. And you women, that's the thing that makes it forever. That is the anchor. You will drag through your life. That will make it hard to get through school. That will make it hard to get through work. That will make it hard to achieve whatever your goals are. Is that kid. You want to get in a funky relationship? Fine. You want to get in a crazy relationship? You want to get in a chaotic relationship? We've all done it. It's part of the growing process. But it's the kid. That's the part that makes it permanent. That's the part that screws you up. No different than AIDS. I was waiting for you to come in and say something.

33:08 Caller You're going to agree with that?

33:10 Drew I'm just trying to figure out the context of that.

33:12 Adam The context is this. We've all been in our share of whacked out relationships. And we've made it out of them without any permanent harm.

33:19 Drew It's AIDS in the sense that the single encounter you walk away with a permanent.

33:24 Adam Short encounter, a couple of months. Imagine if you had something permanent for every screwball you hooked up with from the time you were sixteen to the time you got married to your wife. Yeah you'd be driving a barge full of scrap metal. You'd be dragging that around with you. Look at it that way. Okay. I thought we'd break on time for a change.

33:51 Drew Thirty-eight is the break time.

33:52 Adam Thirty-eight is the break time? She said I don't even know when it is anymore. Look at Anderson with his puss on over there.

33:58 Drew What's going on? Jason.

34:01 Caller Yeah. Yeah. All right. My girl is whatever. I went to the ER with her. She's definitely pregnant, this and that. And I was wondering, as far as ultrasounds go, how exact the prediction of when the baby was conceived is.

34:19 Drew I don't know if I can give you that number precisely. They're not all right, not 100 percent.

34:24 Caller They said five and five weeks and four days. And the last time I had sex with her unprotected was right about six weeks, six and a half weeks.

34:34 Drew All right. This could be that time. Listen, it takes three days to get for the sperm to get there sometimes.

34:39 Caller Yeah.

34:40 Drew So that would be exactly six weeks. Five weeks, four days, four days plus three is six weeks. You're right on in terms of numbers there.

34:48 Adam Oh, Jason thinks he was screwing around.

34:50 Drew Right. Right. That's what he's saying. They sound like they were...

34:52 Adam Oh, you're a genius.

34:53 Drew Jason, it sounds like it is precisely six weeks ago that you had sex with her that resulted in this pregnancy.

34:57 Adam I don't know. I think she was cheating.

35:00 Drew What?

35:00 Caller It's between six weeks and six and a half weeks.

35:03 Drew Yeah. Jason, let me repeat myself.

35:05 Yes.

35:06 Drew They said five weeks and four days?

35:07 Yes.

35:08 Drew It often takes three days for the sperm to get to the egg to cause the conception?

35:12 Caller Got you.

35:12 Drew So that would be exactly six weeks. And that's when you say you had sex with her.

35:19 Caller Between six and six and a half, yeah.

35:21 Adam Jason?

35:22 Drew Yeah. Six and six and a half. That's right.

35:24 Caller It could be mine or not.

35:26 Adam Maybe you'll get lucky and a giant vulture will pick this kid up on the way home from the hospital and raise it as its own. So it can have some kind of education. Hey now, Jesus Christ.

35:38 Caller I've already got one son with three years old.

35:41 Adam Yeah.

35:42 Drew Has she cheated before?

35:44 Caller No, she never cheated. All right.

35:45 Drew Well, people that cheat, cheat.

35:48 Adam You want to work the math one more time for today? You understand the math works out?

35:53 Caller It's real close is my problem. No, and I never cheated. We broke up and she's with this other guy now. And he's asking her whether or not the condom broke which I guess he's urging because he's an idiot. All right.

36:08 Adam Hold on a second. I got to put them on hold because you see the F word there.

36:13 Drew That's the timer reset here.

36:15 Adam Yeah.

36:16 Drew Let's go at this a little bit, see if we can clarify what his issue is. Because there's something.

36:21 Adam Well, listen, if there was another guy boinking her during that same time period, that's another issue.

36:28 Drew Who knows? Yeah.

36:29 Adam It started off as she's never cheated before and the doctors say she got pregnant about the time, within a few days of the time I had sex with her last.

36:38 Drew Yeah. But now he just made another bizarre comment where he said the guy's a virgin.

36:43 Adam Who was having sex with her?

36:45 Yeah.

36:46 Adam Like that means something?

36:47 Drew Yeah. I don't understand what that means, even.

36:49 Caller All right.

36:50 Drew He wouldn't know if the condom broke then?

36:51 Adam Close your eyes and picture Jason's young son a few years from now, maybe eight, nine years old on the schoolyard.

36:57 Drew Mollett.

36:58 Adam Mollett pierced the ear and beaten the crap out of your kid. All right. Let's talk to Jason again. Jason?

37:04 Yes.

37:05 Adam We got to take ourselves a quick break. All right, man. No more profanity on the air, right?

37:09 Not a problem.

37:09 Adam All right. Now just hang on because the plot has thickened. She's with somebody else and now there may be a legitimate reason to worry about this. But just cool your jets for a second. We'll take a break. We'll get to the bottom of this. All right?

37:23 Caller All right, man. All right.

37:24 Adam Hang on. Loveline, we'll be back with Jason in his kid saga after this.

37:30 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

38:10 Adam Yeah, Loveline. Well, Adam, that's Drew over there, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. When we left off, we were speaking to Jason, the delightful Jason, he's got himself a three-year-old. I'm curious if the kid's got the mullet yet or not. His old lady, not his wife, I think his girlfriend, is pregnant. The ultrasound says between six and six and a half weeks. He boinked there a little more than five and a half weeks ago.

38:39 Drew No, no, no. Five and a half weeks is the ultrasound date. Six weeks is when he boinked her.

38:45 Adam No.

38:46 Drew Five weeks, four days is when the ultrasound date was.

38:48 Adam When he boinked her. That's when he boinked her. An ultrasound is between six and six and a half.

38:53 Drew This is one of the rare times you're wrong. I guarantee it.

38:56 Adam Put some money down.

38:57 Drew Oh, yeah.

38:58 Adam I'm ready.

38:59 Drew It's in my car. I'll put five bucks on this.

39:00 Adam I'll put 20.

39:01 Drew I'll put 20 bucks on this.

39:02 Adam 20 bucks?

39:03 Drew I'm pretty confident about it.

39:03 Caller All right.

39:04 Adam 20 bucks. Jason?

39:07 Drew What was the ultrasound date?

39:10 Caller Five weeks, four days.

39:11 Drew Thank you. And when did you blinker?

39:14 Caller All right. I've got exact dates now.

39:16 Drew Between six and six and a half weeks ago?

39:18 Caller I've got exact dates now.

39:20 Adam What did you tell us?

39:21 Drew What did you tell us originally?

39:23 Caller It's been what?

39:25 Drew Six to six and a half.

39:26 Adam Don't let him. Drew, you can't do that.

39:28 Drew All right.

39:29 Caller Yeah, I did. I said like six, six and a half weeks, something like that, because it's been five weeks and four. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I said. Six, six and a half weeks because it was.

39:37 Adam Oh, since you're going there. And yes, I spun it around.

39:40 Drew Twisted around.

39:41 Adam You said, yeah. And you said it took three days for the sperm and that got you to six. And that was that got me twenty bucks. Right, right. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what I kept thinking? Yeah, I know. Thank God I kicked it up from five to twenty. Each time you said it took three days to get you. I kept thinking that got you to the ultra. I went up instead of down. That got you to the ultrasound day. But I should have been deducting for the ultrasound. Alright.

40:12 Drew Alright, so what's the dates?

40:13 Alright, I've got the exact date.

40:15 Drew I need a pair.

40:16 Caller February 27th was the exact last date when I had sex with her unprotected.

40:20 Drew Alright, I need a calendar of dates. That's how many weeks ago?

40:25 Caller I was hoping you could tell me.

40:27 Drew We have a calendar?

40:28 Caller I'm not a mathematician here.

40:30 Drew We just need a calendar. February 27th, for Christ's sake.

40:33 Adam Alright.

40:34 Caller April 15th.

40:36 Adam Was she sleeping with a guy in that time period?

40:40 Caller Yes.

40:40 Adam So we don't know whose kid this is.

40:42 Caller But she said protected every time, but apparently one of the first three times when she had sex with him, he was like, how do you know if a condom broke? And I was like, what?

40:54 Drew He just doesn't know if it broke or not, or he's wondering how he would have known?

40:58 Caller Yeah, that's why I was wondering.

40:59 Drew Does he have some suspicion that he believe it might have broken?

41:03 Caller That's what I'm guessing because...

41:04 Drew Or is he just asking a stupid question?

41:07 Caller She told me that. She told me that he asked her if, you know, how do you know if a condom broke? Well, that's pretty stupid if you ask me.

41:16 Drew Yeah, but it doesn't mean the condom broke.

41:17 Adam Alright, Anderson says 53 days, by the way.

41:20 Drew 53 days with February 27th?

41:22 Adam That's what Anderson just said.

41:24 Caller Okay, I got April 15th as when, you know, actually April 16th because the day after the 15th is when we went for, you know, the whole emergency room thing.

41:36 Drew So you were more like 7 weeks ago with her.

41:40 Caller On April 15th, they told me 5 weeks and 4 days as conception date.

41:45 Drew April, are you Anderson figuring from April 14th? No, it's April 14th.

41:50 Adam All right, I'm spinning and I'm reeling from my 20 bucks out.

41:54 Drew 16th. So we're 9, so this would be 44.

41:58 Caller She took the home pregnancy test on April 15th.

42:00 Drew So it's like 6 weeks a day.

42:03 Adam Who cares? For once, I agree with Anderson. One time in 5 years.

42:08 Caller Hey, if it's my kid though, she wants to keep it and if it's his, she wants to have an abortion and she's going to make the abortion plans tomorrow. I need to know.

42:19 Drew Only she knows whether she had the sex the next day or not.

42:24 Adam Hey Jason, let's just get the abortion.

42:29 Drew If she had sex any time between the day you had it and 3 or 4 days later with him, then it could just as likely be one of his if the condom had broken. But yours was an unprotected encounter, right?

42:41 Caller Yes.

42:42 Adam Hey Jason, let's talk about the bigger picture here.

42:45 Caller All right.

42:46 Adam Let's create a little stability for your 3 year old.

42:49 Caller I got you.

42:49 Adam You know what I mean? Let's not have him grow up amidst this chaos. Be a good dad, lay off her a little bit, whatever. I know you guys have a pretty chaotic relationship. Do you think you could comment down on behalf of your child?

43:07 Caller No, the relationship with me and her kind of, you know, it revolves around the relationship with me and my child.

43:14 Drew We understand, but the child needs you guys to have a relationship also that's stable and non-crazy.

43:20 Caller And now she's telling me she's about to leave this guy as soon as she gets the abortion and you know, want to come back to me. So I mean, it's got my head all messed up. All right.

43:30 Adam Now I'm going to rethink this one.

43:32 Drew So my 20 year old should not have kids just by itself.

43:36 Adam Is she raising this child? Is she doing a good job with this kid?

43:40 Caller Yeah, she's doing real good. I watch him every day while she works. And I mean, when I work, she's got him.

43:46 Adam So OK. Well, maybe you two would be better off on your own then.

43:50 Caller Really?

43:51 Adam She's still with the other guy.

43:52 Drew Yeah, but she's leaving him.

43:54 Caller She's leaving him.

43:55 Drew And these two have a history together. They have a child. They're going to they're going to find screwballs like one another. Well, next relationship.

44:01 Adam Good point. Then we got four screwballs.

44:03 Drew That's right. So what the hell?

44:04 Adam Jason, no more kids with this one.

44:07 Caller Hey, we got six years here. Six and a half years.

44:10 Drew Yeah, six have great years. You wouldn't want to.

44:12 Adam Yeah, we're going to jeopardize that.

44:14 Caller They were pretty troubled.

44:15 Drew Yeah, no kidding.

44:16 Caller Drinking and smoking pot.

44:18 Adam Oh, what the S word. I really mean you picked everyone. Close your eyes. Picture Jason is dad. The guy can't even stop swearing on the air. Get the abortion, please get the abortion and then creates them some stability for your child.

44:39 Drew There's some addiction here to be dealt with.

44:42 Adam Jessica. Yeah, you're 20.

44:44 Caller Yeah.

44:44 Caller What's up?

44:46 Caller I was just wondering about chlamydia and how exactly if you can get chlamydia from getting a blowjob.

44:53 Drew Yeah, you can.

44:54 Caller Can you?

44:54 Drew Yeah, but it's not real likely. Why would it happen?

44:58 Caller Because me and my boyfriend, he was my fiance. In about February, we separated. And when I went in for my pap smear in March, and by the time this came around, we were back together, they said I had chlamydia. And the only thing that he admitted to doing was getting a blowjob. And when I had looked it up on the internet, it had said something about only through vaginal or anal sex.

45:23 Adam Well, you figure whatever he did, he'll downgrade one base.

45:27 Caller When I told him that, his excuse was that maybe the girl, because I guess he met her at a party, that maybe she was giving a guy a blowjob before, and that she had come in her mouth and gave it to him. That's pretty nasty.

45:39 Adam It's a nice angle to work.

45:41 Drew That makes you feel much better.

45:43 Adam Let me explain, guys. Here's how guys work. Oh my God. They work this way. First, they say they did nothing. Then if you keep twisting their arm, you find out some information, you really pound the pavement like producer Anne would do if she thought her husband was cheating. Then you find out something and you come back with a piece of information. Now they admit something but they downgrade. If they felt the girl's boob, they would say they kissed her. If they fingered a chick, they would say they felt the boob. If they banged the chick, they would say, I got a BJ.

46:18 Drew They would soften it.

46:19 Adam They would soften it. If this guy is admitting to BJ, that's sex.

46:24 Caller You think so?

46:25 Adam I'm going with yeah. Plus, he's got chlamydia. And this phantom sperm theory...

46:30 Drew That's bizarre. That's reaching.

46:32 Adam That's spurious.

46:35 Caller I just don't know if this is ground for me to break up with him or not.

46:38 Drew Well, you guys were apart when this happened, right?

46:40 Caller Yeah, exactly.

46:40 Adam Well, he broke up and he was lucky enough to get a little tail.

46:43 Drew Yeah.

46:44 Caller Is he lying to me or not?

46:46 Adam Well, yeah, this ain't lying.

46:49 Drew This is protecting you from yourself.

46:51 Adam And him from yourself. Drew.

46:54 Caller We've been together for four years and we haven't been together.

46:57 Drew We're not taking back.

46:58 Adam What is it? Wacked out long term young couple with kid night.

47:02 Drew Yes, that's the night.

47:03 Caller I'm not like that. I'm a really good mom.

47:05 Drew Yeah. We'll get back with your dad.

47:08 Caller I tried when I found this out about the whole chlamydia thing, I was really stressed out because I've been, you know, there's him for four years, you know, and that's it. I was really stressed out about that. But I just I try to call it off. It's just really hard because when I do that, then I mean to have to go and file for custody.

47:24 Drew We're not suggesting you call it off. We're suggesting you realize that you were broken up at the time. He did what guys do when they're dating. And that's that.

47:31 Adam And Drew, even even you, the righteous Drew, would admit that if you break up with somebody, you have a little liaison with somebody else and you come back. That ain't lying.

47:40 Caller No.

47:42 Adam No, it ain't lying. Even when they say, did you do anything?

47:44 Drew Oh, that's sort of that's more mystery, less history time. That's like, hey, doesn't matter what I do. We're apart.

47:50 Adam We're apart and she's kind of she could get a pretty good head of steam going too. All right. We'll be back.

47:59 Caller Loveline will be right back.

48:42 Adam Loveline Fast-Growing Outlaw Radio, North America.

48:48 Caller All right, I'm going to split.

48:50 Drew You're cool? That's it.

48:51 Adam Well, that was your 6 Seconds of Radio, everybody. Now it's back to the show. The sloppy shell of a show. I'm Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. And we will get back to the phones and speak to Lisa, who's 27. Lisa?

49:11 Caller Hello, hi.

49:16 Caller I'm actually not sure how important this may seem to everybody considering they all have issues with pregnancy. I lately have noticed that I'm eating less and less each day. And I've never had a real issue with food. Actually, I've always eaten quite a bit. And lately, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months. And for the last 3 weeks, I've noticed that I'm afraid to eat.

49:43 Drew Do you have a history of excessive exercise?

49:46 Caller Well, you know, I used to be an avid runner and I ran competitively. So I've always been, you know, like a petite build, about 110 pounds. And I'm 5'5, almost 5'6.

49:57 Drew Have you ever purged otherwise?

49:58 Caller No, never. And in fact, people I think used to think that at one time because I've always been so thin, but I have very high metabolism. So I've never had to diet or even worry about that. And I actually, I think I ate more than I wanted to so people wouldn't believe that I had an issue with food.

50:17 Drew Yeah, but then you'd purge it by exercising a hell of a lot.

50:20 Caller Well, you know, I thought about that, but I was running because I enjoyed it, not because I ever thought that I needed to lose weight. I always wanted to gain weight.

50:29 Drew Okay.

50:30 Caller And now...

50:31 Adam Well, how much were you running?

50:34 Caller Probably about 8 miles a day. But I was running competitively on a team, so it wasn't for me to lose any weight. I mean, like I've said, I've been very fortunate. I've never even had to diet.

50:45 Adam Well, what's your weight now?

50:47 Caller Right now I'm currently 110.

50:50 Adam Well, the only thing that makes me nervous about her is that she said 5'7.

50:54 Caller Well, no, no.

50:55 Adam I'm sorry, 5'5, almost 5'6, I thought that was a little weird. I'll do the half inch math, although Lord knows my math is just like that.

51:03 Caller Well, everyone thinks I'm taller maybe because I'm thinner, so I don't know. But I'm just really starting to get worried.

51:08 Adam She's focusing a lot on that.

51:09 Drew A lot of references on that stuff. Yeah. Interesting. But so what else? Are you anxious all the time?

51:16 Caller I am. And I was confided in my best friend who is also, we kind of laugh at how much we can eat. We're always thinner and it's nice. But I told her just recently that I was starting to get worried because I've never had to worry about food. And I told her recently that I will go to McDonald's and I won't order French fries and I'll decide that maybe I shouldn't eat there at all and I'll leave.

51:41 Adam First off at 27 it's okay to miss a happy meal there too. You really shouldn't eat at McDonald's past the age of 12.

51:49 Caller I was just going to say 9 but...

51:51 Caller But like today for example I had a yogurt and I went to go eat lunch and I was going to order this large pastrami sandwich and I decided that probably wouldn't be good.

52:02 Drew Do you have any idea what you ate for lunch today? No, no, I know how many grams of fat was in the pastrami sandwich.

52:08 Caller No, that's the funny thing. I don't know anything about how many calories you should eat or how much fat.

52:12 Adam Okay, Alisa, here's my observation and Drew, stop me if you disagree. For somebody who could care less about food and about weight, you really talk about it a lot. So there's some energy here.

52:25 Drew Man, and I'll tell you the other hallmark of people with these kinds of eating disorder, particularly the ones that exercise excessively, massive denial. People all the time saying, we're worried about you and the person's always going, what are you worried about? I'm just on a team. I like running.

52:40 Caller What's the big deal?

52:41 Caller Well I think it might have something to do with, I'm pretty sure it does, with my boyfriend. And he's really health conscious and he works out quite a bit. He's in great physical shape. And I've never had an inferiority complex before, but it's not that he makes derogatory statements, but he did mention something about a month ago, you know, Melanie, or sorry, you're 27 and you're, you know, I worry that when you're going to turn 30, which is in a few years, and if we're going to end up together and be married, that you're going to gain weight.

53:12 Drew Oh, what an a-hole.

53:15 Caller And then, and I said something like, come on, I said, look at my family, we have high metabolism. I've never weighed more than 110. And, and then he just makes comments. And I'm not directed toward me so much, but I noticed he points out people who, who have weight issues. And, and like I said before, I said-

53:34 Caller Okay, hold on.

53:35 Adam Lisa, my, my ass is getting wide talking about this. Okay. First off-

53:40 Caller I'm trying to worry because I'm eating less than that.

53:42 Caller Shut up.

53:43 Adam First off, I believe you would hook up with a guy who would be this way. That's number one. Number two, if he says anything, if he said, wait a minute, I'll be back, if you'd hear the weight part and think he was trying to cut you down. I mean, you've got big ears for that stuff. There's energy here. We've been on too long and I don't know what it is, but there's definitely energy here. I don't like this guy, but there's a reason you're with him and it probably has to do with that same energy. How about a little therapy? You're 27. You've had this energy for quite some time.

54:14 Drew People have been worried about this. It's starting to get worse.

54:18 Adam Why don't you just do a little therapy? Just general life therapy. See what's going on.

54:22 Drew There's something going on. You're not, your sense of yourself is not complete. You're utilizing very primitive mechanisms to regulate things that you're not even aware of. A little therapy would do a great deal for you. You're choosing a hole to be with. Because the a hole.

54:38 Adam But who knows what she hears?

54:40 Drew What he's actually saying, you mean? Yeah.

54:43 Adam She hears, she hears, wait, wait, wait, no matter what.

54:45 Drew Hey, when you're 30, I'm worried how you gain a little weight. Maybe, maybe he just said, Yeah, but talk to him and see what he said. You're right.

54:51 Adam Renee?

54:52 Yeah.

54:52 Adam You're 18.

54:53 Caller I am.

54:54 Caller What's up?

54:55 Caller I haven't had my period for probably a good six months. It's not longer. And I was told that after three months, it's very bad for your body.

55:03 Drew Well.

55:04 Caller I'm not sure if that's true or not.

55:05 Drew No, it's not true.

55:06 Caller Okay.

55:07 Caller And I was wondering if you can get pregnant if you don't have your period.

55:10 Drew Yes. Yes. Yes, you can.

55:12 Caller Okay.

55:15 Caller That's not a good thing, then.

55:17 Adam Did you have unprotected sex?

55:19 Caller Oh, yeah. For a while.

55:21 Drew Why aren't you having the lack of period worked up?

55:25 Caller I'm not sure. I went to the doctor for about a year, maybe longer it's been like that, but it's been like every three months I've had it.

55:32 Drew Are you on a medication?

55:33 Caller No.

55:34 Drew Do you have an eating disorder?

55:35 Caller No.

55:36 Drew Are you overweight? Do you exercise excessively?

55:41 Caller I exercise three times a week.

55:43 Drew Did they check you out for other endocrine problems, thyroid problems, that sort of thing?

55:47 Caller Yeah.

55:47 Caller I had thyroid tests done. I had pregnancy tests done after pregnancy tests. I'm not sure what else they did. I know they did several tests.

55:56 Drew You're a child gynecologist?

55:58 Caller Do I?

55:59 Drew Yeah. How about just going on the pill?

56:01 Caller I tried that and it doesn't do anything.

56:04 Drew What do you mean it doesn't do anything?

56:05 Caller I don't have my period on that. I have the symptoms of it, but I don't have my period on it.

56:09 Drew Well, you will if they find the right dosing. Did you adjust the dosing with your doctor?

56:13 Caller Yeah. This has been six months now.

56:16 Drew That you've been trying different pills?

56:17 Caller Yeah.

56:18 Caller All right.

56:19 Drew You'll find one. They can make you bleed. That's not a problem. Believe me, they can.

56:23 Caller Yeah.

56:23 Adam Good shot in the ribs.

56:25 Caller I was just curious because I don't remember who said it or where I heard it, but that it was bad for your body.

56:30 Drew Well, it depends what's causing it, right? Lots of different things can cause it.

56:34 Adam Renee, what are you doing over there? Tending to your meth lab while you're talking to us? What are you working on?

56:39 Caller I'm standing here. I'm standing in my kitchen.

56:42 Adam Where are you putting things away in the cupboard?

56:45 No.

56:45 Caller I was going to cook something, but I'm not going to.

56:48 Adam You're just standing still in the kitchen?

56:50 Pretty much, yeah.

56:51 Adam I'm just hearing a lot of rattling and stuff.

56:53 Caller No.

56:53 I'm on a cell phone.

56:55 Caller Okay.

56:56 Adam All right, honey.

56:58 Drew Well, Renee, listen. Do whatever Drew said to do. Yeah. If you lose, let's say you have an eating disorder and you lose your period, it can be associated with ovarian failure at low estrin levels, and that can be very bad for you. So if there's some sort of ovarian failure going on that's unattended to, yeah, there are other things that can be an issue. There are prolactin tumors. There are other things that can be causes of no period that can be quite serious. But for the most part, just the lack of period, if it's something due to the normal internal cycling mechanisms aren't working quite right, that's not particularly bad for you.

57:23 Adam I want to talk to Tamara. Tamara?

57:26 Caller Yeah.

57:26 Adam You're 20?

57:27 Caller Uh-huh.

57:28 Caller What's up?

57:29 Caller I'm wondering, how should I get my boyfriend to go son on me?

57:35 Adam Why won't he?

57:37 Caller I don't know.

57:38 Caller I haven't like brought it up to him and stuff.

57:41 Caller But I don't know if it has something to do with our religion. Because we're not even supposed to be doing the stuff that we're doing anyways. But, um, because we're both Mormons. And so we're not supposed to like, you know, have sex and do all that kind of stuff till you're married. But like, I'll give him hand jobs and I'll like give him BDAs and stuff. And you know, he fingers me and stuff and everything. But I just don't know why he won't go down on me.

58:08 Drew Have you asked him to?

58:09 Caller No, because...

58:10 Drew I have a feeling if this guy were a pagan, he wouldn't go down on her.

58:14 Adam What do you guys pass out? The watchtower?

58:17 Caller What do you mean?

58:19 Adam What's the pamphlet?

58:22 Drew When you go on your mission.

58:24 Caller I'm not going on a mission because I'm going to get married to him.

58:27 Adam Who does the watchtower?

58:29 Caller It's the Book of Mormon.

58:31 Adam Oh, that's Jehovah.

58:32 Caller No, that's the watchtower, but we have the Book of Mormon.

58:37 Adam Oh, you knew about the Jehovah and the watchtower, right?

58:40 Caller Yeah.

58:41 Caller Okay, you can say that.

58:45 Adam You go, yeah, Ann, I want to know if you go down on him and she said she does, yeah.

58:50 Caller Yeah.

58:51 Drew She's looking for a little reciprocity.

58:53 Adam Well, she should, listen, you got to, you got to bring it up. You got to lick the fiddlers, my dad used to say. If someone's going to go down on you, you got to go down on them.

59:01 Drew Lick the fiddler.

59:03 Adam Well, I tweaked it just a little bit so it would apply to this situation.

59:06 Drew Very poetic.

59:07 Adam Well, I understand you have your moral convictions or your religious convictions and I respect those.

59:14 Drew Lick the fiddler.

59:15 Adam But if someone's going to do something to you, you know, listen, you're not going halfway to hell. You're either going or you're not and as it stands, you two are bound for hell so you might as well get your kicks before you move to that house of fire for eternity.

59:29 Caller Okay.

59:30 Drew Enjoy.

59:30 Adam Hey, Tamara?

59:32 Caller Yeah?

59:32 Adam Let me ask you a serious question.

59:34 Caller Okay.

59:35 Adam I know you're a religious person but you don't really believe it, do you?

59:39 Caller Yeah.

59:40 Adam And if so, why are you carrying on this way? Why risk it? Aren't you going to anger somebody in the sky?

59:47 Caller No, it's just we have been together for so long and usually couples who have been together the length of time that we are, they're already married and it's just.

59:56 Drew But you're doing your own interpretation on what you should and shouldn't be doing.

1:00:00 Adam You know you're doing stuff that goes against the teachings of your religion, right?

1:00:04 Caller Yeah.

1:00:04 Adam Therefore, you're willingly doing it.

1:00:06 Drew And you've interpreted it your own way.

1:00:08 Adam Aren't you scared of some sort of reparations?

1:00:12 Drew Or aren't you saying that you really don't fully embrace what you've been taught?

1:00:16 Caller Well, I really, you know, I fully believe what I've been taught.

1:00:21 Drew You choose to reject it.

1:00:23 Caller No, it's just kind of like we're at the point of our relationship.

1:00:26 Drew No, wait a minute. What would the church say?

1:00:29 Caller They would look down upon it.

1:00:31 Drew Okay, and so you're rejecting that. You've decided you don't look down on it. You've decided to do it your own way.

1:00:38 Caller No, I don't know.

1:00:40 Drew Yes, you've decided to interpret it your own way.

1:00:43 Adam Church said you shouldn't do this and you're doing it.

1:00:46 Drew You're doing it because of how you perceive it, even though the perceptions are different than how the church would interpret it.

1:00:51 Caller Yeah.

1:00:51 Drew So it suggests you don't fully embrace.

1:00:54 Adam Or believe it. Maybe you don't believe what the church is telling you.

1:00:59 Caller Or you just kind of tend to ignore it to satisfy our own needs.

1:01:03 Adam Okay.

1:01:03 Drew All right. Let's be honest enough.

1:01:06 Adam We'll see you in hell.

1:01:07 Drew All right.

1:01:08 Adam All right. Thanks.

1:01:11 Drew Put that on a card.

1:01:14 Adam I truly believe when it comes to most religion that most folks don't believe it as much as they say they do or they wouldn't carry on the way they do.

1:01:25 Drew It really is why the church had to bring out such incredible consequences because people leave left to their own devices. We'll sort of twist it around as they please.

1:01:34 Caller You know what I mean?

1:01:36 Drew They would have the church have to threaten people with holy hell if they have one inch outside of their teaching.

1:01:42 Adam On the other hand, I'll now sort of defend our caller and say that people do stuff all the time from smoking to drinking to things that they know is bad for you.

1:01:54 Drew It's all denial.

1:01:55 Adam We do it anyway.

1:01:56 Drew We're just pointing that out. That's all. Listen, I think one of our jobs is to get people to look at reality in reality's terms. They can choose to do something whatever they please. But our job is to make them be real for a second. Just be honest. And then go do what you're ever going to do. That's fine.

1:02:12 Adam Speaking of reality, Dan?

1:02:14 Yeah?

1:02:15 Adam You're 21?

1:02:16 Caller Yeah. I'm sorry. I think you guys deserve a pat on the back for I think, you know, the first show of its type that actually does some good. And I wanted to ask about I wanted to ask, there's a treatment I'm on the East Coast.

1:02:35 Adam Yeah.

1:02:35 Caller It's a treatment I only know of one doctor specifically who does it. It's for heroin addiction. I guess, first it's a seven day program where they put you on some kind of medication to get you through the withdrawal. And then at the end of that, they give you a naltrexin implant. Oh yeah.

1:03:00 Drew Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1:03:01 Caller I've heard of this. And I was wondering first if you knew what the seven day treatment was and also what you thought about the implant.

1:03:08 Drew Listen, detoxing, it's a very interesting and novel approach. Follow me here. Getting off heroin is relatively easy. Any addictionologist can get you through the detox relatively comfortably. Not great, but relatively comfortable. You needn't be fearful of that. The hard part of the heroin disease is staying off. What naltrexone is, it's a blocking agent that prevents the heroin from getting into your brain. I mean, think of it that way anyway. And it's normally a pill you take every day. And I'm not a huge fan of that pill because my heroin addicts, when they want to get high, they don't take the pill.

1:03:45 Caller Right.

1:03:45 Drew That's all you just get the pill. The implant goes in and stays in for three months.

1:03:50 Caller You can supposedly get another one?

1:03:52 Drew Yeah. And understand that's not going to help you recover. But it's going to let your brain recover. It's going to keep your brain from being exposed to opiates long enough that hopefully your judgment will start to come back, your emotional systems will equalize, and you'll have an opportunity to do some work in recovery. But you've got to also still do the recovery. Or as soon as that implant wears off, you'll go right back to the hair. Or you'll cut it out. I mean, you'll go to whatever extremes you have to do to get high, if you intend to get high.

1:04:20 Caller Well, that's, I mean, I'm finally, you know, I'm starting to realize that, you know, my plan was to, if I got the implant, to also get, you know, go to...

1:04:30 Drew Do a program. Yeah, yeah, great. Then that's a perfect plan. I think that's going to be a very important intervention for some heroin addicts.

1:04:38 Adam Dan?

1:04:38 Drew Yeah?

1:04:39 Adam This gets a Drew's Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. And there aren't many times in the five years I've done this show where people called up with their addiction treatment plans that Drew wholesale or endorsed. That's true.

1:04:51 Drew Well, particularly novel ones, because novel ones are usually sort of goofy.

1:04:54 Caller And you're skeptical about it.

1:04:56 Drew Well, no, not skeptical. I think there's some that are frankly deleterious.

1:04:59 Adam Well, the data is not in on some of them.

1:05:02 Drew Some of it, a lot of it is harm avoidance stuff and, you know, novel detoxes. And my thing is, hey, detox is not a big deal. We can detox. You don't worry about that. And harm avoidance means basically sticking you on opiates the rest of your life so you don't do things to try to get opiates anymore. But you're still an addict. But this, this is interesting.

1:05:18 Adam But, you know, Drew, when you speak to a heroin addict, they, beating the week, or the two weeks, or whatever the time period is, that they detox, that is the mountain that they have in front of them immediately. Immediately. And that's all they're interested in.

1:05:35 Drew It's four to seven days. And interestingly, particularly methadone addicts have what's called a pathological fear of withdrawal. Their fear of withdrawal is much greater than the actual intensity of the experience.

1:05:44 Adam Yeah, I'm agreeing with that. And I'm bringing it up. And I'm saying, you know, you always say, don't worry about the withdrawal. It's the part afterward, which is sensible. But it's the withdrawal that scares the ass out of these people.

1:05:56 Drew And what I'm trying to get them to do is look at the reality, which is.

1:05:59 Adam Here's what I would do if I were you. Just leave it at, don't worry about the withdrawal and try to get them to the next point.

1:06:04 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:06:04 Caller OK.

1:06:05 Drew You know who got picked up in the street here in the alley right behind us? Culver, your friends at Culver PD last night. Robert Downey Jr. got picked up.

1:06:12 Caller Really?

1:06:13 Drew Again, loaded.

1:06:14 Adam Turning tracks?

1:06:16 Drew Really? I wish we could get our friends from Culver City PD to come in here and talk about it.

1:06:21 Adam You think you're going to get the arresting officers to come in here?

1:06:23 Drew I heard it was a female. So our friends, maybe they could tell us what happened.

1:06:28 Adam That's interesting. When was this?

1:06:30 Drew Last night, just as we left, like 1210.

1:06:33 Caller Well, maybe he's a fan.

1:06:35 Drew He was out with the autograph.

1:06:36 Adam A lot of celebrities can't find the studio. Was he booked last night, Ann? Ann had him booked for $1,155. He got lost. All right, Drew, don't laugh. It's not funny. We'll take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Eric. Eric is 24. No, no, no.

1:06:53 Drew That's not a good break.

1:06:54 Caller All right.

1:06:56 Adam We'll talk to Barbara. Barbara is 21, feels her uterus push against her stomach. She has an orgasm.

1:07:04 Drew Fascinating.

1:07:04 Adam Sort her innards out after this.

1:07:07 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:07:10 Caller I'm back in a minute.

1:07:39 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to The Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:07:45 Adam Yep, be careful what you say about Dave Arquette. He'll show up on your doorstep.

1:07:49 Caller He sure will.

1:07:52 Caller Yeah, especially in your microphone.

1:07:54 Adam I was saying how crazy he was once, I was saying how nuts he was, just out of the blue.

1:07:58 Drew And how much we loved him, but that he was certified one.

1:08:00 Adam That he was nuts. And he walked right through this studio door.

1:08:03 Drew Three minutes later.

1:08:04 Adam Three minutes later, absolutely. Wasn't booked on the show, had no idea where he was, had no plans to see him.

1:08:11 Drew Didn't just walk in and burst into the studio.

1:08:14 Adam Said he was too nuts to find the studio.

1:08:16 Drew That's right. He said that.

1:08:18 Adam Piled right into the studio. And that was, it shaved six years off my life, six to eight years. That's what the doctor said. Barbara?

1:08:28 Caller Yeah?

1:08:29 Adam You're twenty one. What's up?

1:08:31 Caller I'm like six months pregnant.

1:08:33 Caller And whenever I have an orgasm, my uterus goes to the front of my stomach and it stays really hard for like a half hour afterwards.

1:08:41 Drew So you are having contractions.

1:08:44 Caller Is that what that is?

1:08:45 Caller Yeah.

1:08:45 Drew You got to talk to your doctor about that.

1:08:47 Caller Is that wrong?

1:08:48 Drew Well, it could be a problem. It may be these sort of pseudo contractions, but it may be an issue.

1:08:55 Adam The orgasm creates a contraction?

1:08:57 Drew Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

1:09:00 Adam What defines a contraction?

1:09:02 Drew The muscle, the uterus, in an organized, systematic way, the whole uterine wall contracting down. And this may be just some localized contractions.

1:09:11 Adam Is that what pushes the baby out?

1:09:13 Drew Yeah.

1:09:14 Adam I thought the baby was in the stomach.

1:09:16 Drew Yeah, and you barf it up? Yeah, most people think that.

1:09:19 Caller So does that mean I have to stop?

1:09:22 Drew Again, you really do need to talk to your doctor about it.

1:09:24 Adam I thought the barfing, that was a C-section, right?

1:09:27 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:09:28 Drew Well, it's a V-section. Vomit.

1:09:30 Adam Vomit?

1:09:31 Drew Oh, oh. But Barbara...

1:09:33 Adam Well, wait, I thought the C was for Chuck.

1:09:36 Drew You're right, you're right. Barbara, listen, just somebody who is examining you needs to check this out and see if they think there's something really going on or not. And if there's nothing going on, enjoy.

1:09:47 Adam What are you getting? Are you getting oral sex? Are you doing it yourself? What are you getting?

1:09:51 Caller All of the above?

1:09:53 Drew All of the above?

1:09:55 Caller Yeah.

1:09:55 Drew So how, so are you contracted all the time because you're too messed all the time?

1:10:02 Caller Just every time I have an orgasm, it does it.

1:10:05 Drew And how often is that?

1:10:07 Caller At least once a day.

1:10:09 Drew So it's probably okay just by virtue of the fact that you haven't delivered yet. But you can talk to your doctor about it.

1:10:14 Caller You got a husband?

1:10:16 Caller No.

1:10:17 Adam Well, who's giving you the orgasm?

1:10:21 Caller Um, a lot of the times it might be myself.

1:10:23 Adam And who's the guy?

1:10:26 Caller A good friend.

1:10:27 Drew Is your sexual desire starting going up now?

1:10:31 Caller No, it's always been going up.

1:10:32 Drew But the third trimester of pregnancy sometimes gets a lot more. It's one of God's great jokes.

1:10:37 Caller No, but the orgasms are a lot better.

1:10:39 Drew A lot better.

1:10:40 Adam That'll probably get you more a little bit.

1:10:42 Drew Good times.

1:10:42 Adam Who's the guy? Just a friend of yours?

1:10:46 Drew Yeah. Just a concern? Yeah. Who favors six month pregnant women?

1:10:52 Adam That's the first friend that helps me out.

1:10:55 Drew What about the third trimester? Hold on.

1:10:57 Adam I'm curious about this. What about biological father?

1:11:02 Caller He's out of the picture.

1:11:04 Caller I'm taking the baby up for adoption.

1:11:05 Adam Oh, very good.

1:11:07 Drew Very good.

1:11:08 Adam And the guy, the friend, have you known him for a little while?

1:11:13 Caller Three years.

1:11:14 Adam How many?

1:11:15 Caller Three.

1:11:15 Adam Three years. And how did you meet him? Oh, at a party. And he's always liked you?

1:11:26 Caller Yeah, we've always been really good friends.

1:11:27 Adam No, no, no, no, no. He's liked you.

1:11:29 Drew He's been like a lion waiting in the grass. Now, he's vulnerable.

1:11:36 Adam Not a lion, but more of a weasel. We're waiting to pass. Waiting for the carcass to slow down.

1:11:43 Caller He's waiting for when I don't have a boyfriend.

1:11:45 Drew No kidding. And when you're vulnerable. Right.

1:11:48 Adam And your stock's no good now, so he's going to buy low.

1:11:52 Caller Yeah.

1:11:53 Adam Yeah. And you know it. And you ain't that interested in him.

1:11:56 Caller I don't mind, though.

1:11:58 Adam No, you'll take any attention. You're in a bad place. Sure.

1:12:04 Caller I don't mind doing it myself, though, either.

1:12:06 Drew Well, him, yourself, same thing.

1:12:08 Adam Right. But this guy's fallen in love with you.

1:12:13 Caller No, he's not.

1:12:13 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1:12:15 Adam He's always liked you.

1:12:16 Drew The guy that will wait three years for this moment.

1:12:18 Adam And then go down on a six-month-old, six-month pregnant.

1:12:21 Drew Yeah. That is a commitment.

1:12:24 Adam Baby, you're using this guy. Don't kid yourself.

1:12:27 Drew Well, you should not.

1:12:28 But he's using me, too, so.

1:12:29 Adam No, no. He likes you.

1:12:31 Drew He's in. He's in.

1:12:33 Adam He wants to be with you.

1:12:35 Drew Well, just be realistic about it. Just be aware of that fact and then act accordingly.

1:12:40 Adam Be honest. He wants to sleep over. He wants to come over, right?

1:12:43 Caller Yeah.

1:12:44 Adam He wants to hang a little more than you want to hang, right?

1:12:47 Caller No, I don't mind.

1:12:48 Caller We have fun together.

1:12:49 Drew Yeah, but.

1:12:49 Caller Just hanging out.

1:12:50 Drew Yeah. He's pushing it.

1:12:52 Adam He's more serious than you are.

1:12:53 Drew He's moving it along.

1:12:55 Caller Yeah.

1:12:56 Adam Yeah. And you're using him. You're not interested. Yeah, OK. No, it's not. No, I don't think it is.

1:13:03 Drew It's not.

1:13:04 Caller Guys use women all the time.

1:13:06 Adam Let me explain something. Going down on a chick who's got a beach ball in her belly is not using a woman. He sees you as vulnerable, and now he thinks love is going to finally bloom for him.

1:13:20 No, guys like a lot of guys like pregnant chicks.

1:13:23 Drew Yeah, but don't kid yourself about this guy. He is here because he wants to be.

1:13:27 Adam He doesn't have a girlfriend, right?

1:13:29 Caller He didn't want a relationship when I wanted one.

1:13:33 Adam Well, when did you want one with him?

1:13:37 Caller About when we first met.

1:13:41 Drew You had a boyfriend then?

1:13:43 Caller Uh-uh.

1:13:43 Adam He had a girlfriend then?

1:13:45 Caller Yeah.

1:13:47 Caller When he broke up, he still didn't want a relationship.

1:13:50 Adam He didn't?

1:13:51 Caller No, he just wanted sex.

1:13:53 Adam Oh, that screws us up a little bit. Yeah. Now we're all screwed up.

1:13:55 Drew Then you can go ahead and use him.

1:13:57 Adam Yeah. Have him lick away. Have that baby right into his mouth. He'll eat it and crap it out.

1:14:02 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1:14:08 Adam That's called the circle of life.

1:14:10 Caller Oh, my God.

1:14:11 Adam Doc, move your hand.

1:14:12 Caller I'm going down.

1:14:13 Adam I can squeeze another 10 minutes oral sex out of this before the kid crowns.

1:14:21 Drew Oh, my God.

1:14:22 Adam You don't think that could happen?

1:14:24 Drew That you could be crowning while a man is down there and have a man. Oh, could eat the baby as it emerges.

1:14:30 Adam I heard stories.

1:14:31 Drew One of my friends, one of his good friends, Cousins, boyfriend, yeah.

1:14:36 Adam One of his friends was going down on a woman who was nine months pregnant.

1:14:40 Drew Was she in the Spanish Fly?

1:14:41 Adam She had, that's how she got pregnant. She had eaten some Spanish Fly. The woman gave birth while he was going down on her. He was shocked. He opened his mouth and he was in shock. He was gasping. The baby went into his mouth and he actually passed the baby.

1:15:00 Caller The baby was fine.

1:15:02 Drew Did they cut the cord as it was emerging from his mouth?

1:15:05 Adam He bit down on the cord. That's what cut the cord. It went into him. He immediately passed the child and voila, that's the baby. Well, these are wonderful stories. True story. Absolutely true. Absolutely. I heard it. Amber?

1:15:22 Caller Yes.

1:15:22 Adam You're 25?

1:15:23 Caller Yes, I am.

1:15:24 Caller What's up?

1:15:28 Caller I got with my boyfriend or my husband rather about eight or nine years ago, almost nine years ago now. Before I was with him during foreplay and all that kind of stuff, I would be extremely wet. And then once I started having sex, it would kind of all go away. Once I was with him, I would be very wet in the beginning, and then we would start having sex and I would get more and more and more wet to the point where we have to stop in the middle of the act and wipe it off to increase friction and things like that. And it's not just when we're having sex, but sometimes I'll be at work or in a meeting and not at all sexually stimulated and all of a sudden I can feel it just gush and come out.

1:16:18 Drew Is that maybe just a discharge?

1:16:20 Caller No, and it's not discharge and I've been to the doctor and it's like not yeast infections or anything like that. It's actual, it's the same fluids that come out when I'm sexually excited.

1:16:29 Adam Drew, isn't anything that comes out of your discharge?

1:16:32 Drew But I understand what distinction she's making.

1:16:34 Adam Right, I do too.

1:16:36 Caller I've had yeast infections and I've had them, you know, I don't get them all the time.

1:16:40 Drew The point she's making is it's a thin fluid, not an emission, not a thick emission.

1:16:45 Caller Exactly.

1:16:47 Drew It's not a chunk coming down.

1:16:49 Caller No. But when I do experience orgasm at those times, not only more comes out, but it's thicker.

1:17:00 Adam Yeah, you're a passionate, passionate, passionate woman. Why don't you throw a handful of kitty litter down your shorts before you hit the road in the morning?

1:17:08 Caller I mean, I'm wondering what causes that and what can you do to decrease that?

1:17:15 Drew I'm not sure you can do much of anything. I suppose things like cotex or tampon might help sometimes if you're really having a steady flow. But this is you. And this is like guys have to manage the fact they get erections spontaneously sometimes. It's just part of who you are.

1:17:30 Caller So there's nothing you can do.

1:17:32 Drew And I don't think you should be so disturbed about it. It's a far lesser problem.

1:17:36 Caller It's not really disturbing. It's more of an extreme inconvenience.

1:17:39 Caller Yeah, I understand.

1:17:40 Adam Well, put the tampon, put the pad down there. Can you do that?

1:17:46 Caller Yeah, I mean, yeah.

1:17:48 Caller What causes that? I'm just curious. What makes that happen?

1:17:51 Adam Retardism.

1:17:52 Drew Well, there are multiple glands in that vicinity. What I find interesting is that you sort of have conditioned the activities. The fact that your arousal was very high with your husband. And now it's something that sort of spontaneously flows as though these glands have been somehow activated by all the activity.

1:18:07 Adam You've primed something down there.

1:18:09 Drew And that's probably what's happened. Probably the schemes of the Bartholomew glands are one of these active elements down there.

1:18:16 Adam You know what I think would dry her up? Some good old fashioned trauma. Watching her parents be murdered in front of her or something. Something like that. No, no. You need that. Maybe a guy buying it on a motorcycle or something.

1:18:29 Drew Maybe get one of those snuff films, those weird bitin films.

1:18:33 Adam Yeah.

1:18:34 Drew Getting by an alligator.

1:18:35 Adam One of those Seven Phases of Death movies. See some animal trainer get them all by grizzly bear. And I think that will slow you up. Let me dry you up a little bit. Thank you. Okay. Drew, what do you think of this? Seriously.

1:18:52 Drew Look.

1:18:53 Adam Okay. Just go with me.

1:18:55 Drew Here you are.

1:18:56 Adam Go with me. You're a woman that produces too much moisture in times of passion and in inopportune times. You watch one of these horrible, horrible videos. You focus on it. And somebody says, look, each time you feel a little moisture, you just start thinking about that alligator eating that guy landed in this parachute into the swamp.

1:19:18 Drew Yeah, I'm not sure it's worth it.

1:19:21 Adam Worth a try. Worth a try.

1:19:22 Drew Depends how bothersome the wetness is.

1:19:25 Adam And by the way, I don't trust anybody who likes those videos.

1:19:30 Drew How could you?

1:19:31 Adam Well, there's a fair amount of guys who watch it who are you know, decent guys.

1:19:36 Drew Really? Yeah, I've not met that guy. At least I'm not aware they're the ones watching that crap.

1:19:40 Adam I would say that the of the majority and when I say majority, I mean over just a little over fifty percent of young men would gladly sit down and watch something like that. One of those death videos.

1:19:53 Drew Just further evidence of the male's flaw.

1:19:55 Adam Yeah. To me, there's something there's something deeply wrong with you. But I'm a guy urinates in the sink ninety percent of the time.

1:20:02 Drew In the Fallen tonight, Jack's off in the sink too.

1:20:04 Adam Only when I think I'm going to urinate and then shift gears at the last second.

1:20:10 Drew Accidental, Jack.

1:20:12 Adam Let me tell you something about the sink maneuver with something that came later in life. Schedule got busy.

1:20:18 Caller Didn't have time to mop up. I want to move.

1:20:20 Drew So it's sort of a...

1:20:21 Adam Yeah. I'm shaving while I'm whacking off.

1:20:24 Drew Drive-by Jack? Drive-wack-by?

1:20:27 Adam I'm a busy man. Scott? What was that noise?

1:20:31 Caller What's up?

1:20:33 None. What's up, man?

1:20:34 Caller Hey.

1:20:34 Hey, I got a little problem. I just started going out with this girl about four months ago. And I mean, we hit it off really, really good. And I mean, I spend most of my time at her place when I'm not at work. But the thing is, we used to have sex like three times a day when we first met. And this was like four months ago.

1:20:57 Drew Then she got to know you.

1:20:59 Adam Then she met the real Scott.

1:21:02 And that could be. But she says, I asked her why we have only been having sex like once a day or maybe not even once a day.

1:21:12 Drew That's still a lot.

1:21:14 Adam Not even once a day.

1:21:15 Drew That's a lot.

1:21:15 Adam She should be arrested.

1:21:18 Drew Remember, normal is about one and a half times a week for a couple that's established.

1:21:24 Caller Really?

1:21:24 Drew Yeah.

1:21:24 Caller That's how I've only been with her four months then.

1:21:27 Adam Well, four months, it could be more than one and a half times a week for a 28 year old.

1:21:33 Drew But also less than once a day. Oh yeah. Yeah. Twice a week, three times a week. Give her a little break.

1:21:41 Caller She says that I should initiate it all the time.

1:21:45 Drew Well, that's the nature of the female. Their system is such that they need to be approached. They need to be given the opportunity to become receptive. Yes.

1:22:02 Adam The reason they have the vagina is it gives you something to blow smoke up. You have to blow some smokes. Write that down, Drew. So blow a little smoke and you'll get a little more smoking done on your own pipe.

1:22:19 Caller All right, man.

1:22:22 Adam And 0.8 times a day is still pretty damn good. I mean, 5.3 times a week or whatever the math is, slightly less than once a day is fine.

1:22:35 Drew I have a question.

1:22:36 Adam Yes.

1:22:36 Drew Do you eat mushrooms tonight or something?

1:22:38 Adam Yeah, a little weird tonight.

1:22:40 Drew Yeah.

1:22:41 Adam A little trippy.

1:22:43 Drew Yeah, you're high on something.

1:22:44 Adam No.

1:22:45 Caller Oh, come on.

1:22:46 Drew High on life, man.

1:22:48 Adam I'm sleep deprived.

1:22:49 Drew Oh, okay.

1:22:50 Adam I spent way too much time in a false environment today. You know.

1:22:56 Drew TV people.

1:22:57 Adam With TV people. No, no, these are my TV people. These are good people. I spent 15 hours in a limousine that was indoors today, with lights simulating nighttime driving. Strange. I think it does scramble you a little bit. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we will speak to Anna, NS28. She's been having one night stands a lot lately. Doesn't know how to commit. Or doesn't want to commit. We'll talk about that after this. Loveline, Adam, that's Drew. Drew and I do a lot of thinking. Not a lot of doing, lots of thinking. Lots of figuring, lots of plotting, lots of planning, lots of discussions.

1:24:13 Drew Lots of explaining to other people what and how it works. Yeah, how it works, how important what we've been thinking and talking about is.

1:24:19 Caller Bah bah bah bah bah.

1:24:21 Drew That's what it sounds like to them.

1:24:22 Caller That's what it sounds like.

1:24:25 Adam That's what it sounds like. Here's what it sounds like. I pull someone's side and they could be PAs, they could be producers, it doesn't matter. Anyone neighbors and I go let me give you my take on blah blah blah. And furthermore.

1:24:41 Caller Bah bah bah bah bah bah.

1:24:44 Adam And you know what really chaps my hide? I'll tell you what gets me.

1:24:48 Caller Bah bah bah bah. That's.

1:24:50 Drew And then you get into it.

1:24:52 Adam Then I get passionate.

1:24:53 Drew And you get and I'll tell you some.

1:24:55 Adam Yeah. And furthermore.

1:24:59 Caller Yeah.

1:25:00 Adam The answer when I go on furthermore.

1:25:01 Caller That's when you hit the another blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

1:25:07 Adam Close my eyes.

1:25:08 Caller Anna.

1:25:09 Caller Yeah.

1:25:09 Adam You're 28.

1:25:10 Caller Yeah. Hi. How are you guys?

1:25:12 Adam I'd like to do an on air retraction. Jamie Gillis was the name of the porn star. That I was trying to figure out his name a few days ago and I was using John Leslie's name. I was hurting the good name of John Leslie the porn star and not Jamie Gillis.

1:25:33 Drew I'm sure Anna's terrible.

1:25:36 Adam And furthermore. I had to get it off my chest. That was his calling card.

1:25:41 Caller Go ahead Anna.

1:25:42 Caller Yes. Well. First I want to say that Adam. I think that you're one of the only human beings in the world that I think that I'm kind of, you know. I think you and me are very much alike.

1:25:53 Adam Sympathetic sister. I agree.

1:25:56 Drew Yeah.

1:25:56 Adam Let's not ever meet though.

1:25:58 Drew Can it ever be okay for a woman to be like you?

1:26:01 Caller You put people in their place and that's what I like about you. Anyway, lately I've been feeling like I don't give a s*** anything.

1:26:11 Drew Like such as being on the radio and having certain FCC rules.

1:26:15 Adam Drew, everybody. Turning to Don Rickles all of a sudden over here. Anna, you cannot use profanity on the air. Thank you.

1:26:24 Caller I'm really sorry. And you know, I just want to know. I feel like life has no meaning.

1:26:31 Drew That's called depression.

1:26:33 Caller Yes, I feel very sad. I have a daughter with autism.

1:26:36 Adam You're depressed.

1:26:38 Caller I don't know what I should do.

1:26:41 Drew How about getting your depression treated? How about getting your depression treated? One out of five people with depression die.

1:26:48 Caller Yes.

1:26:49 Adam Well, they kill themselves.

1:26:50 Drew You've got to take this very seriously.

1:26:51 Caller Believe me, I've been thinking about that for a long time.

1:26:53 Drew All right, Anna, you've got to take this very seriously.

1:26:56 Adam How's your daughter's autism?

1:26:59 Caller Well, she speaks very fluent English and Spanish, but she has a lot of trouble when it comes to safety.

1:27:09 Adam She can hurt herself.

1:27:10 Caller She doesn't understand a lot of concepts in life.

1:27:12 Adam Yeah. That's most of our listeners. And how old is she?

1:27:16 Caller She's eight.

1:27:17 Adam And do you put a helmet on her?

1:27:21 Caller No.

1:27:21 Adam But do you worry about her running into trouble?

1:27:25 Caller Yes, because she's growing up really fast. Her body is like a 13-year-old and her mind is like five. So that's a big problem right now.

1:27:33 Caller Okay.

1:27:34 Adam But she speaks English and Spanish, though.

1:27:36 Caller Yes. Interesting.

1:27:37 Caller That's nice.

1:27:38 Adam And is she going to a special school?

1:27:40 Caller She's going to a regular school in a special education class.

1:27:44 Caller Oh, okay.

1:27:45 Adam Well, it sounds like you've gotten that under control.

1:27:49 Caller Yes.

1:27:50 Adam And that's taken a lot of energy.

1:27:52 Caller Yes, it does.

1:27:52 Adam Are you sure?

1:27:53 Caller Yes.

1:27:53 Adam That's the kind of thing that's got to work on you just a little bit every day. But you're 28, you're in one piece, and you're depressed. You're bilingual. That's pretty good.

1:28:04 Caller I sing. I do karaoke. I love it.

1:28:07 Adam All right. There's something you like. Now, let's figure out how to make that into a career. I think you should hit the circuit with the karaoke. What's your big song?

1:28:15 Caller My big song? My biggest song? Well, probably Borderline by Madonna or like anything like The Motels.

1:28:24 Adam You know what I would suggest for you? I would suggest a bilingual song like, Una Palola Blanca. I'm just a bird in the sky. Where you can really show off your language skills.

1:28:37 Caller Yes, that's true. I can sing better in English than Spanish, I think.

1:28:42 Drew Anna, do you have a doctor? Do you have a doctor?

1:28:46 Caller Like, I go to this guy that specializes in ADD, but he listens to everything I say.

1:28:52 Drew Is he a psychiatrist?

1:28:53 Caller Yes.

1:28:54 Drew And has he put you on medication?

1:28:56 Caller No.

1:28:57 Drew Why don't you get somewhere where they can actually treat you? You're suffering with this depression now. You're contemplating suicide. This could actually take your life. You had any other illness that had that kind of life-threatening potential, you'd be down at the emergency room now. You need to take depression as seriously as you would any other medical condition.

1:29:14 Adam Drew, did you break wind speaking of depression?

1:29:16 Caller No, no.

1:29:18 Adam Strange sweet smell coming from you.

1:29:20 Drew It's a sweaty.

1:29:23 Adam Whatever it is. Let's stop that. Monique?

1:29:26 Yeah.

1:29:27 Adam You're 19?

1:29:28 Caller Yeah.

1:29:28 Adam What's going on?

1:29:30 Caller Well, my boyfriend for a while now, he's been making hints to me when we're out places and stuff, that he wanted to bring a girl into bed. But he never really asked me anything. He never really said, can we? He just made hints to me and I just kind of blew it off. But then the other day when I got home, he had a girl here already waiting for me.

1:29:50 Drew Who was she?

1:29:52 Caller I don't know. I had never seen her.

1:29:54 Adam Where'd he get her?

1:29:56 Caller I don't know. I had no idea. I asked afterwards but he didn't tell me.

1:30:01 Drew You had sex with her?

1:30:02 Caller Yeah, I did. When I came in it was beautiful. It was set up. He had roses, he had candles.

1:30:08 Drew I really wanted to do it for him.

1:30:13 Caller I really wanted to do it for him.

1:30:15 Drew This is what I imagine the guys that do that kind of stuff. Do it for him.

1:30:19 Adam I think I've missed somewhere. The guys with the trail of rose petals and the candles to the bubble bath they've drawn for the lady. Somewhere between Serial Killer and Pedophile. That's where I rank these guys. What was that in the background?

1:30:34 Caller My friend.

1:30:35 Adam What did he do? Was he screaming? Why did he scream?

1:30:39 Caller I'm at his house right now.

1:30:40 Drew He's listening to her right now.

1:30:42 Adam Uh oh, you're calling from North Hollywood? Satan's armpit. Satan's ass crack.

1:30:50 Caller Hi, I've been here for eight years.

1:30:53 Caller Where are you calling from in North Hollywood?

1:30:55 Caller I'm right on Magnolia and Vineland.

1:30:57 Adam Oh, yeah, bad times. Bad times. I was over on Magnolia and Colfax.

1:31:03 Caller Oh my god.

1:31:03 Adam Bad times. Bad times.

1:31:04 Caller It's not that bad anymore. It used to be worse.

1:31:06 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:31:07 Caller Okay, but you guys, wait, wait, wait. You have to help me still.

1:31:09 Drew Okay, what's the question?

1:31:13 Caller I'm sorry, they're being really retarded here.

1:31:15 Drew What's the question?

1:31:17 Caller I don't know what to do because he brought her in and I really tried to do it. Like I tried but I ran out in the middle of it. He just had to leave and then I went back in the room and me and him had sex again and we never really talked about it.

1:31:31 Adam You ran out in the middle of sex? What were you doing when you ran out?

1:31:33 Caller I just said I had to go to the bathroom. It wasn't like we were all three going together. He would just have sex with her and then he would have sex with me. I looked over at one point and it just really hit me that I was looking at my boyfriend.

1:31:48 Drew That's awful. That's awful.

1:31:51 Adam This is North Hollywood.

1:31:52 Caller So I left and I told him I had to go to the bathroom.

1:31:55 Adam This guy is a jack-off. You can't do any better than this guy. Couldn't you go down to the Mission, get in the soup line and find yourself a nice hobo?

1:32:03 Drew We were like a year and a half.

1:32:05 Adam I had a bad tooth for a year and a half.

1:32:09 Caller We haven't even talked about it. After I left and then I came back in the room when she left and then we had sex.

1:32:14 Drew Whatever you talk about, I imagine what he's going to say is going to be total BS.

1:32:18 Adam Do you have any kids with this guy?

1:32:20 Drew No.

1:32:20 Adam Oh, thank God. Are you sterile?

1:32:24 Caller Am I sterile? No.

1:32:25 Adam Why have you not had kids yet?

1:32:27 Caller I just haven't had kids. We use protection. I'm on the pill.

1:32:31 Adam Good. Good. What's this guy do? Some form of construction?

1:32:36 Caller No. He works for a computer company.

1:32:39 Adam Aha!

1:32:40 Caller He makes stuff where he sells it.

1:32:42 Adam No, no, no. This is the difference between an enforcer and a diabolical madman. You see? He's one of those Superman-type foe geniuses when they take over the world. I thought he was the enforcer type. Monique?

1:32:58 Caller Yes?

1:32:59 Adam I don't trust this guy as far as I could kick his nuts. I really don't.

1:33:03 Caller You don't even think I should be with him?

1:33:05 Adam Yeah, I don't think you do either.

1:33:06 Drew We're just worried about this whole situation. The threesomes normally do destroy these relationships. They just do. It's hard to overcome what you've been put through. This guy certainly does not seem to be very empathic about what's up with you.

1:33:17 Adam Talk to him about it. Give him a chance to hear what he has to say, but keep your ears open. If your spidey sense starts tingling, get out. It doesn't matter that you... By the way...

1:33:28 Drew Just because you've wasted a year and a half, you want to invest ten more years?

1:33:32 Adam What is that strategy? What is it?

1:33:36 Drew Shouldn't it be, I've already invested a year and a half, I don't want to waste another minute with him?

1:33:40 Adam That's the strategy people use with me.

1:33:42 Drew Of course.

1:33:43 Adam We'll be back. Well, there you have it, another successful episode of Loveline, safely buried in the ground. Jonathan Sheck will be in here tomorrow night. He's that good-looking guy from That Thing You Do. Nice guy, been on the show. He's been in a ton of movies, good guy. He's going to be in here and Isabella, is it Miko?

1:34:37 Drew Yeah, there's a bunch of car-train, a bunch of autograph hounds for her from The Forsaken.

1:34:41 Adam Yeah, she's real hot. She was from Coyote Ugly, which is a movie I haven't seen, but I really want to see because I like bad, good movies. Like Showgirls, one of my favorite movies. So until next time, and this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying Mahalo. Alright, we'll see you in hell, alright?

1:34:59 Caller Alright.

1:35:01 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:03 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2001