Episode 1000754887029

5:54 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

6:06 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number. I always chuckle a little when we give that out because I've seen two faxes in the last 14 years. I've only been on the show for five years and the two said Adam sucked. Fax number 3108. Oh, scratch it. We don't got it. All right.

6:28 Drew It's not working. That's why you haven't seen one in two years.

6:31 Adam You're breaking my heart, Anderson. All right, good. Screw the faxes. Tonight, and tell me if I mispronounce this, Rosa Blasi. Yeah, and Josh Coxx, both from Strong Medicine, which is a new show out on Lifetime. Whoopi Goldberg is a producer of this show. And this is, how involved is Whoopi in this?

6:52 Guest Whoopi is very, very hands on. She's absolutely essential in every decision. And especially when she is the times on the set, she's very hands on. Even things as little as or as major as we need more mammogram signs or whatever. She is very hands on because her name is on it.

7:07 Guest It's an invisible hand, but her hand is on it.

7:09 Guest Exactly. But Tammy Ater is there every day, day to day, like a David Kelly freak.

7:16 Adam Did Whoopi, I know when I hear about this, David Kelly's got a fifth show coming out or something. And I think, would you just stay home and bang Michelle Byser and call to life? Oh, these guys drive me nuts. Is this Whoopi's creation or someone came?

7:33 Guest Hers and Tammy's, hers and Tammy's, yeah.

7:35 Guest And she was in the, literally in the labor room with the birth of her grandchild and was there for a while, obviously, through labor. And she just started talking to people and getting hospital stories. And she's like, this is so different from when I was giving birth. This is a great idea for the show. And literally from the hospital made the phone call to the Columbia TriStar. And I guess when you're Whoopi, you can do that and sell a show.

7:57 Guest Let's get it rolling.

7:58 Adam Well, it's a good thing she wasn't hanging out at a car wash, I guess, because you guys would be screwed. All right. So the show's new. And my problem is it's on Sunday nights, nine o'clock when I'm at least supposed to be leaving for Loveline over here. So I have not seen the show. So why don't you give us a brief synopsis of it beside that. We know it takes place in a hospital.

8:22 Guest Well, it mainly focuses on two women doctors. One from a more richer hospital, one from a more urban environment. He runs a free clinic and Whoopi Goldberg's character brings the two together and they kind of, the free clinic comes under the umbrella of the richer hospital and they become one. Much to the, much to the chagrin of both women.

8:46 Guest Of Janine Turner who plays the other doctor.

8:48 Adam Right. And Josh, you play a candy striper. I read in the bio.

8:53 Guest Yes, as a matter of fact, a candy striper. I ride a motorcycle in my candy striped suit.

9:00 Adam You're like the hunky, against type male nurse.

9:03 Guest Exactly. Midwife.

9:07 Adam Are there any hunky male nurses? Or are there all those guys that sort of produce estrogen and wear slippers? Really?

9:13 Yeah.

9:14 Drew There's some dudes like that.

9:16 Adam There's some hunky black male nurses, but are there any hunky white guys?

9:19 Drew There's white guys too, especially at the psych hospitals.

9:21 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, right. There's like ex-wrestlers over there.

9:25 Guest Required size.

9:26 Adam And Rosa, what is your part?

9:29 Guest I play the other doctor. I play the street doctor. Pretty raw, pretty... Grew up in the streets of Philadelphia. Very opposite character.

9:38 Adam But graduated med school?

9:39 Guest No. Actually, that's part of the show. You didn't graduate? No, I did graduate med school.

9:44 Adam Any doctors that look like Rosa floating around the hospital?

9:47 Drew Not in the city hospitals.

9:48 Guest We could only wish, not in the city hospitals.

9:51 Adam Not in the inner city? No. Just a bunch of weird Indian guys you can't understand, right? Do you have a lot of Indian doctors?

9:58 Guest We've had some Indian guest stars on the show.

10:01 Adam Very important. Drew, isn't it true that half of all Indians are doctors, or at least everyone who comes to this country?

10:08 Drew In India, unlike this country, doctors are held in very high esteem.

10:11 Adam Really?

10:12 Drew Yes.

10:12 Adam That's right. But they let cows cramp in the street over there too.

10:18 Guest Because cows are sacred and doctors are clear.

10:20 Adam Very backwards country. All right. Strong medicine.

10:23 Guest The sacredness of the doctor over there.

10:25 Adam Lifetime at nine o'clock and then as soon as that ends, you can switch it over to Comedy Central and watch The Man Show, and get a nice broad range of entertainment.

10:38 Yeah, whatever.

10:39 Adam All right. Let's speak to David who's 24. David?

10:42 Hey.

10:44 Hey, I want to know if I went too far this Labor Day weekend.

10:47 Adam All right.

10:48 Okay.

10:50 By the way, Adam Corolla, I think your show's kicked.

10:52 Well, I can't say ass on the show, can I?

10:54 Adam No, you cannot.

10:56 Drew Asshole.

10:57 Okay. Anyway, I took two hookers from Texas to Nuevo Laredo.

11:04 We were coked up.

11:05 We're going to go to Boys Town.

11:07 Drew What's Boys Town?

11:09 Guest That's where, I don't know, you'd meet the-

11:12 Guest What does Boys Town mean by you?

11:13 Drew Spencer Tracy.

11:14 Adam Yeah, you get raped by Spencer Tracy.

11:16 Guest You took the female hookers to meet the boy hookers?

11:19 No, no.

11:20 We're going to do America and Mexico at the same time.

11:23 Adam I see.

11:24 Nice.

11:25 Anyway, I almost got thrown into a federal prison.

11:28 Adam Yeah. Hey, David?

11:30 Yes, sir?

11:30 Adam Just by your voice, it doesn't sound like you're the Lorenzo Lamas ride a motorcycle with no helmet, free-wheeling guy.

11:38 That's why I got to buy it.

11:39 Adam Yeah. What do you do for a living?

11:40 Huh? Electrician.

11:42 Adam I see. And you can afford these hookers, huh?

11:46 My parents got a lot of money.

11:47 Adam I see. They'll be glad to know that's where it's going. So you took these two hookers. Did you cross the border with them?

11:54 Yep.

11:54 Adam And then what happened?

11:56 Well, we got to a border camp and went up there drinking.

12:01 And Mexico police threw me up against the car.

12:04 I was fixing to take my car and a fight broke out.

12:07 So they went to that and so I got the hell out of there.

12:09 Adam All right. So what's your question?

12:11 I just want to know if that was a little bit too far.

12:13 Adam No, not far enough. Not far enough. Next time you get some mezcal and you drink that and you get a third hooker.

12:20 Drew All right, David? What do you think we're going to say, David?

12:22 Adam Oh, shut up. He's an idiot. Who cares? Listen, I live life on the edge. I'm a wild man. I like to see this guy in real life.

12:29 Drew There's a little...

12:30 Adam What?

12:31 Drew The voice, a little touch of something.

12:33 Guest That was Southern.

12:34 Adam No, maybe like he was trying to ring the gay out of him with the hookers.

12:40 Drew Yes.

12:40 Adam Yeah.

12:41 Drew Did you get that?

12:42 Adam Yeah. You tried that your senior year of college, right, Drew?

12:45 Drew Yeah, I keep trying.

12:45 Adam Didn't work. Even the marriage. Jerry, you're 26.

12:50 Caller Yes, I am. Hey, I got a question for you guys here.

12:53 Adam Yeah.

12:53 Caller All right. I live in Chicago, so we get to replay the show. And I heard a boy call and ask about the testicle cancer.

13:01 Drew Right.

13:02 Caller I do have a lump, but it's like on the side wall.

13:06 Drew Right. And is it like a rock like we talked about last night? Yeah.

13:09 Caller It's like a pebble.

13:10 Drew All right. Got to get an ultrasound and get it checked out.

13:13 Adam What do you mean on the side wall?

13:15 Drew You mean in the skin?

13:16 Caller Yeah. Well, it's like not under. It's like actually on the side.

13:20 Drew Like in the skin?

13:21 Caller Yeah, but it's in the skin, right?

13:22 Drew Well, it's a skin problem. Don't worry about it.

13:24 Caller But Drew, I had a question, though, because before when I first felt that I did, it was like I squeeze it. I did get some kind of pus.

13:31 Drew Right. It's a sebaceous cyst. Don't worry about it.

13:34 Caller Don't worry about it. Still get a check though.

13:35 Drew It could be. Yeah. No, it's a sebaceous cyst.

13:38 Guest Oh, God. But shouldn't you get a check?

13:39 Drew You should get a check, but it's not.

13:41 Guest Is that right?

13:42 Drew It's a skin problem. Some guys get sebaceous cyst down there.

13:45 Adam Yeah. Not me, but guys.

13:46 Drew And it's like it's not even just pus.

13:49 Adam I get them on my ass.

13:50 Drew It's like it. That tends to predispose the bacteria to grow in there, but it's like a toothpaste.

13:56 Adam Your crotch becomes like a greenhouse when you're fat.

13:58 Guest It's a little hot and sweaty.

13:59 Adam Yeah, there's a gecko lizard and moss growing under your nuts. It's a mess down there.

14:03 Drew It's like toothpaste-y kind of material coming out of it, right?

14:06 Adam Right.

14:06 Drew Okay, that is the sebaceous thing.

14:09 Adam It's the land of the lost in your underpants. Chakas.

14:13 Guest Chakas didn't be there any second.

14:15 Drew In Adam's case, when it's the toothpaste, it's some old talc. It's the paper mache you're forming down there.

14:20 Adam Hey, I talc up before I leave the house. People appreciate that. What would you rather smell, a bottom of nutsack or Johnson's baby powder?

14:31 Drew Baby powder.

14:32 Adam All right, there you go. There you go. Randy? You get two, three wearings out of a pair of underpants you use talc. That's right. What's up, Randy? You're 32.

14:41 Caller Yeah, I came into some Viagra, and I wanted to ask Drew what should I do about going about taking these things.

14:47 Drew How did you come into Viagra?

14:49 Caller I just got them in the mail, the freakiest thing.

14:52 Drew You sure it's Viagra, not one of these phony-

14:55 Caller No, it was in a bottle, a prescription bottle, and it actually had my name on it.

14:59 Drew Oh, somebody's-

15:00 Guest Did you order it off the internet?

15:01 Caller No, I'm thinking maybe a friend may have played a joke on it.

15:05 Drew Somebody's joke.

15:05 Adam I'm thinking a disgruntled ex-girlfriend trying to send a message.

15:08 That's what crossed my mind too there. I'm okay now.

15:13 Drew Well, we don't know the full impact of healthy people taking that medication. In other words, if there's a medical reason, then it's worth the risk. But for a healthy person, we really don't know the full implications. I mean, would it be a heart attack or something? Not unless you had coronary disease, and even then it's people on nitrites with coronary disease.

15:31 Adam Well, let me ask this, the way you put this, Drew, because I know you like to discourage people from taking prescription meds when they don't need them. But it's not as if it affects healthy people more and more adversely than an unhealthy person. You're just saying if you're unhealthy, meaning you cannot achieve an erection.

15:49 Drew It's worth the risk.

15:50 Adam It's worth the chance of taking it.

15:51 Drew Yeah.

15:52 Adam Yeah. But Randy could take it. First off, any guy named Randy is going to need a little help in the sack. That's not a man's name, that Randy.

16:00 Guest Well, no, but I know a friend that was on an antidepressant and then was prescribed it because the sex drive lowered. But, I mean, that's a healthy person who just happens to be having to take this.

16:11 Drew No, it's an unhealthy person. They have a disease, depression, which kills 20% of the people with that disease. So they have to take medicine in order to deal with that disease. And then it's worse. Then it's worth taking the. And really, that's a real common problem. So they add well buter and switch to Remron or Serizone and or they adding the Viagra sort of a new thing. It doesn't really work that well.

16:30 Adam Hold on. I'd like to give a quick retraction on the pussy Randy correlation. Macho man Randy Savage is coming in the studio tomorrow night. I'm just looking up at the thing and I don't want him snapping me like a slim Jim. So, Randy, if you're listening, buddy, you know, I'm just kidding. We'll see you tomorrow night. Then it's, you know, Randy Savage is Drew? The Macho Man?

16:51 Drew Way back.

16:51 Adam It seems like a lot of work being Randy. You know, he's always going like this, he's talking to little tiny friends. He's like, he's starting to take a crap and he's got that tan salon thing going and he's all shaved and pumped and oiled.

17:02 Guest Looks like he's going to bust a vein.

17:04 Adam Yeah, I saw him at the X Games and I thought, wow, it's a lot of work being Randy Savage. Much like what happened to Pee Wee Herman. You know what I mean? You paint yourself into a corner and now it's like you're Pee Wee or you're Randy Savage. And I was talking to my funny partner, the Emmy Award winning Jimmy Kimmel today about how great it is doing the Man Show because you know as a B slash C celebrity, you want to walk into some store and rent a porno, you think for a minute, oh Christ, people are going to recognize me, and then you think, wait a minute, I do the Man Show, I should be doing this. This is important. It's part of your research. Part of my research, part of my work. I'll get in trouble if I'm not seen around these places for too long. Adam? Yeah. You're 24.

17:48 Caller How's it going guys?

17:49 Adam Good.

17:51 Caller I dated this girl a ways back and when we were, you know, messing around and getting down to things, she had excessive fluids down there, like more wet than normal.

18:03 Drew Like during orgasm or?

18:06 Caller It could have been or just most like direct stimulus. Right.

18:11 Adam Stimulation.

18:12 Caller There you go.

18:13 Adam Yeah.

18:14 Caller It was more than I've ever experienced.

18:16 Guest Well, good for you.

18:17 Guest You must have been doing something right. Yeah.

18:19 Drew What's the problem?

18:20 Caller I mean, this is too much. I mean, it's not like, you know, there's wet and then there's like a flood.

18:28 All right.

18:29 Drew What is that? Are you concerned it could be urine?

18:32 Caller Is that what it could be?

18:33 Drew Sometimes that happens.

18:34 No, no, no, no, no.

18:34 Drew But usually that's with orgasm.

18:35 Adam That's during orgasm. She was just wet during any kind of stimulation. That's just a way she's cut out, Adam.

18:42 Caller It's fine.

18:43 Adam Maybe you reminded her of her uncle or father. Oh, that's probably true.

18:49 Caller Whatever it takes, right?

18:51 Adam Yeah. You guys are broken up now?

18:53 Caller We just dated for a short period.

18:55 Adam I see.

18:55 Caller Yeah. It was like it shot out.

18:58 Guest All right. We got it.

18:59 Adam Wait a minute.

19:00 Hold on.

19:02 Adam It shot out during orgasm?

19:04 Guest Yeah.

19:05 Caller She's real quiet. I mean, I don't know. We didn't have sex. All right.

19:10 Adam Okay. Listen, Earth to a TARD planet. Listen to what I'm asking you because we can't get the answer to this question. Please listen.

19:19 Caller Ready.

19:19 Adam You don't know whether she had the orgasm or not. I'm with you on that one. But was she relatively dry up into a certain point and then a ton of moisture and something came shooting out or was she just completely moist all the way through?

19:35 Caller Okay. She was completely moist all the way through and at certain points more would come.

19:41 Adam Wow. It's great.

19:44 Caller This was on a water bed and I mean it's like the sheets were soaked.

19:49 Adam All right. All right. Well, maybe there's just a leak. All right, Adam. You're quite a man.

19:54 Drew Thanks for the call, Adam.

19:55 Adam Not everyone's going to be that way.

19:56 Drew Check your back pocket.

19:57 Adam Have you been with many girls?

20:00 Caller Not a ton. No.

20:02 Adam No, but they all haven't been this way, right?

20:04 Caller Right.

20:05 Adam All right.

20:05 Guest Do you keep losing your keys?

20:08 Caller I watch.

20:09 Guest No.

20:09 Adam You'll be fine.

20:10 Caller Okay.

20:11 Adam All right.

20:11 Drew Relax.

20:13 Adam Listen, I don't understand why we get these calls about things that we can't change and happen about people they've already broken up with.

20:20 Drew What is it they're concerned with?

20:22 Guest I think some of them just want to tell you, like, oh, my life really sucks. I have this 11-inch, you know, I mean, I just, I think some people just like, I think some people-

20:32 Guest Do we hit that button on time?

20:33 Drew Where the road station went to patient school?

20:35 Guest Oh, is that a, that's not a radio word. Sorry.

20:37 Adam I don't know if we can say that. I'm confused by these FCC rules myself. Anderson's shaking his head.

20:43 Guest Well, you said the key word, so I figured it was okay.

20:46 Adam I know, because a doctor would use sort of interchange us to keep talking. A urologist may be talking to you about you.

20:52 Guest Especially in OB-GYN, right?

20:53 Guest It is a medical term, is it not? I thought it was.

20:55 Adam It is now.

20:57 Guest Okay, okay.

20:58 Guest Note to self. In case that word comes up in my vocabulary.

21:02 Adam Leah? Leah?

21:05 Oh, yes. I'm sorry.

21:06 Drew Caller goes by Leah?

21:07 Adam Caller goes by the name of Leah?

21:09 Yeah, that would be myself.

21:10 Adam All right. You're 22. What's going on?

21:12 Caller Actually, I'm 23.

21:13 Adam All righty. Been on hold for a while. What's up?

21:19 Caller Well, just recently, I've been married for like a year and a half, and just recently, my husband was picked up for stillsitting prostitution, and I'm a little confused about how I should feel about that. I mean, I guess I believe that he didn't. I mean, I don't know.

21:32 Adam Well, all right. Let's not get confused.

21:35 Drew What don't you know?

21:36 Caller I don't know if I should believe him that he didn't do it.

21:39 Drew What do you think he was? The police just grabbed him out of his car and said, hey.

21:43 Caller Well, I'll tell you his story.

21:44 Adam Well, his argument is he was pimping.

21:47 Drew Let's look at his history. Has he ever been sexually compulsive?

21:51 Caller He cheated on me when we first got together before we were married.

21:54 Drew Has he ever gone to prostitutes before?

21:56 Caller No.

21:57 Drew As far as you know.

21:57 Guest Probably has.

21:59 Caller Well, we spoke pretty freely before. Well, I don't know. But we spoke pretty freely before we got married and all that good stuff. And he pretty much was like, oh, they're disgusting. That's what he told me, you know?

22:13 Adam Right. It's like a priest talking about one of those young altar boys. Oh, they give me the heebie-jeebies with their lily white bare naked asses and their pouty cheeks. What is his story? So what happened?

22:27 Caller OK. According to him, he was leaving. He was leaving Taco Bell and the lady was coming in.

22:35 Adam She was guilty.

22:35 Caller Kind of scrubby. He's guilty?

22:38 Adam Yeah, leaving Taco Bell.

22:39 Guest Too descriptive.

22:40 Guest It's all over.

22:41 Caller Well, I asked for a lot of details, but anyhow, she asked for a ride. He thought her no. He was at work at the time. And he thought her no. He said she didn't ask for any money or there was no taco money or anything like that. He got in his car about two blocks away. There was nobody in his car when he got pulled over, but they pulled him over. He said the cops were coming up. There was a lot of cars behind him. So he pulled over and he thought he was getting out of the way, whatever, but that they were coming for him. So he gets out the car. He was like, what's the problem? Whatever. They were like, get out the car. They said he's been arrested. He's been arrested for what? They said soliciting. He said the first thing he could think of was like someone magazine. He was like, what are y'all talking about? And then they said soliciting prostitution. So he started to resist. They punched him in the mouth.

23:27 Adam So they said you're being arrested for soliciting prostitution, and he started to resist.

23:33 Drew He started swinging right then.

23:35 Adam What kind of strategy is that?

23:38 Drew You think that sounds a little strange?

23:40 Adam Well, let's put it this way.

23:42 Caller OK, put it that way.

23:43 Adam Let's suppose you were at a Taco Bell, and some guy came up and started talking to you and wanted a ride.

23:49 Drew You didn't know him?

23:49 Adam You didn't know him. OK, but was she in the car?

23:52 Caller No.

23:53 Drew But she was in the car for a while.

23:54 Caller No, she never got in the car.

23:56 Adam Never got in the car.

23:57 Guest He was just talking to her at Taco Bell, and then he got pulled over after he left the Bell.

24:00 Adam He said, I'm not giving you a ride.

24:03 Caller I should also add the fact that it was a sting, and it was the end of the month. They arrested like 90 people for soliciting that day.

24:10 Adam Right, right, right. It was called the big Cordita sting. They post people outside the Taco Bell.

24:17 Drew Cordita Supreme.

24:18 Adam Yeah, listen, that's it. Hold on, if you're looking for the sort of underbelly of this country, staking out a Taco Bell is not a bad place to start.

24:29 Caller It's on a really bad strip. I don't know.

24:32 Drew What was he doing there?

24:33 Adam He was going on a lunch run for work, right?

24:36 Caller Yeah.

24:36 Drew Is that where he routinely goes?

24:38 Caller Yeah.

24:39 Adam All right, so listen, he just talked to this woman, and then he left her at the Taco Bell, got in his car and drove away.

24:46 Caller Yes.

24:47 Adam And then got pulled over and then took a swing at the cops.

24:50 Drew Yeah, doesn't fit.

24:51 Adam Don't you think, let's just say you just did that, wouldn't you just be confused when the cops pulled you over?

24:57 Caller That's what he said he was, pretty confused.

24:59 Adam Why would he swing at him then?

25:00 Caller He didn't swing at him, he said he was trying to pull his arms away, and then that's when they popped him.

25:04 Adam Pull his arms away from what?

25:06 Guest They popped him first.

25:08 Caller There was no fighting. I'm just telling you the story. According to him, they were like, you're under arrest whatever, and he was like, for what? They were like, soliciting. He was like, what? What are you talking about?

25:20 Drew Let's look at history. Is he having a previous criminal record?

25:23 Caller Yes.

25:24 Drew Okay.

25:24 Adam Shocking.

25:25 Drew Adam.

25:25 Adam Shocking.

25:26 Drew Indeed.

25:26 Caller What for?

25:28 Caller He has some marijuana and LSD back when he was 17 or something. He's like 28 now. That was more than 10 years ago.

25:36 Drew Nothing else.

25:37 Caller No, nothing else.

25:38 Adam All right. So he's not on parole or anything like that?

25:40 Caller No.

25:41 Adam All right.

25:41 Guest Yeah, but he's a cheater.

25:43 Adam I wouldn't believe him. And he eats a Taco Bell.

25:47 Drew Indeed. The story just doesn't fit.

25:49 Adam It just doesn't make sense. There seems to be pieces missing.

25:52 Drew When things don't make sense, it's because they're not telling you the whole story.

25:56 Adam Right. Let me ask you real quick. OJ., innocent or guilty? Just trying to see where you're at here.

26:01 Caller Oh, no.

26:03 Adam Don't know?

26:04 Caller Oh, no.

26:05 Adam You got a sister? I'd like to marry her.

26:08 I'd like to get away with it.

26:10 Adam Jesus Christ. Listen, here's the deal, everybody, with everything. All you got to do is use common sense. That's all you got to do. Things will always make sense. You'll always arrive at your answer. For instance, OJ., you got a disguise in your car and a bunch of cash and a fake passport, and you're heading for the border. Okay. Now, Drew, if you came home and someone had killed your wife, what would your plan be?

26:37 Drew It would not be that.

26:37 Adam Pack up a bunch of disguise and head for the border?

26:40 Drew No. No.

26:41 Adam Oh, head for the border, though. That's a good Taco Bell.

26:44 Drew There you go.

26:44 Adam That used to be an old Taco Bell.

26:46 Guest This is a big, long Taco Bell commercial.

26:48 Adam Yeah. This guy chats up some chick who's behind him in line at Taco Bell, then gets in his car and is heading back to work, and all of a sudden he's tackled by the cops.

26:55 Guest During the day, no less.

26:56 Adam Yeah.

26:57 Guest Just the lunchtime.

27:00 Adam Now, guilty. I'm going with guilty. All right. Have you seen Taco Bell's new Cordita though? Taco Bell now do a thing where they take a hard-shell taco.

27:09 Drew Yeah.

27:09 Adam Wrap it. They wrap it with a layer of cheese and then a soft-shell taco, and then dip it in pure cholesterol. They've somehow been able to pull cholesterol and isolate that atom, and that molecule, and they just have a dipping sauce called cholesterol, and they dip it in that now, and then they give you a big pad of butter on it. I think it's just a cube of butter wrapped in bacon.

27:32 Drew Well, they actually have different sauces, butter, mayonnaise, and just pure fat.

27:35 Adam And butter and mayonnaise.

27:36 Drew And lard.

27:36 Guest So you're fat by the time you leave the drive-thru.

27:39 Adam That's right. We take a cube of butter, we wrap it in Canadian bacon and put a toothpick through it.

27:44 Drew I like Taco Bell.

27:45 Guest I got to tell you.

27:46 Drew I love Taco Bell.

27:48 Adam I like Taco Bell too, but I stay away from the meat. No, it's good. All right, Drew. What do you do? Would you get some kind of contract?

27:55 Drew No, I just like Taco Bell.

27:56 Adam All right. Take yourselves a little break over there. I'll tell you, when I got off with Taco Bell, when they dropped the Bell Beefer, those of you who are old school.

28:08 Drew In the foil trays?

28:10 Adam No, no, no. Those of you who are old school, especially probably from the LA area, remember the Bell Beefer, Drew, because somehow-

28:21 Drew It was a hamburger.

28:22 Adam Yes, it was a hamburger bun. They took a white hamburger bun. They slopped, grated up, ground up- No, ground chuck on there. I mean the taco meat on there.

28:33 Caller Whatever it is.

28:33 Adam They put a little lettuce on top of that, some cheese and it was known as the Bell Beefer.

28:38 Drew Remember the Enchiritos?

28:39 Adam Oh, yes.

28:40 Guest You remember Cinnamon Crisp, the original when they were little triangles?

28:43 Caller Oh, yes.

28:44 Adam That was way after the Bell Beefer, baby.

28:46 Drew Oh, sorry.

28:47 Adam Don't even credit them.

28:48 Guest Sorry, I'm off on the Taco Bell timeline.

28:49 Adam Yeah, put them on the same menu.

28:51 Drew Back when Taco Bell used to have little fires in the front patio area.

28:54 Adam Yeah.

28:55 Drew Oh, yes.

28:56 Adam All right, we got to go to break. Flaming the hearth of Bell. I can't talk about Taco Bell anymore, except for I can say this and here's what societies eroded to. Every goddamn Taco Bell used to have an open fire pit, a natural gas powered fire pit with those lava rocks. The thing was five feet in diameter, it was four feet high and it sat there with a flame coming out of it in front of the restaurant right out on the street, I mean three feet from the sidewalk. Every one of these places had it. Now the kind of society that we're living in today, the litigious nature of our society or just the folks, would that be, that's an impossibility today, right? How many millions of crack babies would be tossed into that fire? Do you know what I'm saying? All right, so we can't have our taco bell fire or our bell beeper. All right, we'll take a little break. Rose and Josh are both here from Strong Medicine Lifetime. Sunday night's 9 o'clock. Whoopi Goldberg can be found on this show.

29:56 Guest He's reruns Saturday night at midnight. So first you're done with your little man show.

30:00 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can watch it then. Yeah. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

30:07 Caller Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

30:50 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, the Macho Man, Randy Savage. He'll be in here tomorrow night to kick my ass. Rosa Blasi and Josh Coxx are both here tonight from Strong Medicine. This is on Lifetime Sunday Nights at 9 o'clock. It's a very new show, but it's been getting what I hear are very good reviews. So again, 9 o'clock Sunday nights.

31:13 Guest Going the full 22, ladies and gentlemen.

31:16 Adam What size network is Lifetime? I'm always surprised to hear when these cable, like you think MTV is huge, but as it turns out, they're behind, I don't know, the court channel or something like that.

31:29 Guest I can tell you.

31:31 Adam What is it?

31:31 Guest Rosa knows this.

31:32 Guest I went to enough, what's it called?

31:34 Guest She did enough press junkies to kill a horse.

31:36 Guest It's number two in cable.

31:38 Guest Really?

31:38 Drew Wow.

31:38 Guest It's in 75 million homes.

31:40 Drew 72, what's number, HBO?

31:42 Guest I don't know. I didn't ask. I was just like, okay, sweet. And we're number one and most importantly-

31:46 Adam That'd be like CNN or something. Wouldn't it?

31:49 Caller Maybe.

31:50 Guest I don't know.

31:50 Caller Yeah, maybe.

31:50 Guest Or the Home Shopping Network.

31:52 Guest No, I don't know. It's weird though.

31:55 Adam TNN. Meaning, when it comes to like, let's say, products, Coke is number one and RC Cola is number eight or whatever, and you know it. I mean, you wouldn't be confused by that. You wouldn't be startled. Like Nabisco, whatever. You wouldn't be startled by that. But in cable, what you think may be number one, I mean, like I said, you take something like MTV, they could be number 18.

32:17 Drew Right.

32:17 Adam And or whatever. But the point is, is I'd like to figure out the order of those, and I've seen it before, and I can never remember it, but I always remember being surprised by which ones are at the top.

32:29 Guest Right. Well, important also is demographics. And obviously, and I know those demographics. I mean, I know we're number one with women from 18 on in every category, obviously, for women, because it's known as the women's.

32:41 Adam Lifetime sort of the it's the chick network.

32:43 Guest Yeah, lifetime of women's.

32:44 Adam And I was thinking, well.

32:45 Drew Are they going to change the name?

32:47 Guest Yeah, to the chick network.

32:48 Drew Chick network.

32:49 Guest Yeah, CNN was taken, so that's not.

32:51 Drew The CNN.

32:51 Guest Yeah.

32:52 Drew T-C-N.

32:53 Guest They don't want to confuse people.

32:54 Guest Corolla Consultancy Firm.

32:56 Adam But, you know, I was thinking, well, Josh is getting screwed being on the chick network. Yeah, right. And then I thought, no, wait a minute, that's good.

33:02 Drew He's not a nurse, though.

33:03 Adam Yeah, that's sharp.

33:04 Guest Are you kidding?

33:04 Adam No, forget about the part. His whole audience is women.

33:08 Drew That's good news, babe.

33:09 Guest And they all asked me for his number or his picture, all of them.

33:13 Adam Yeah, I did the math. I was at this restaurant today by my house called Hugo's. It was really good. I opened a new one in the Valley. And I ordered this smoothie called Woman's Juice. And, you know, I felt kind of ridiculous doing it, but it sounded like the best one had a, like they said, you know, we take like papaya juice and cranberry, and then we throw a cordita in there and like whip it up. I mean, it really, no, it really sounded good. So I ordered the Woman's Juice and everyone was making fun of me. And then I thought to myself, you're gay. I said, hey, what if I ordered the man's juice? Wouldn't that be worse? Think about it. Yeah. So if you're going to be on a network as a guy, you should be on the chick network. That's smart.

33:55 Guest I have a smile from ear to ear.

33:58 Adam Uh-oh. Dene?

33:59 Yes.

33:59 Adam Dene, you're 16.

34:01 Caller Yes.

34:01 Adam What's up?

34:03 Caller I have a friend, right? And he said he's gay, right? And he said that he's been gay since birth. And I was wondering if that's possible because I don't see how he can be gay since birth.

34:13 Drew Well, there's debate about how much of sexual preference is biology and how much is it the environment in which one is reared. There are certainly some people that are more biologically prone than others, that's for sure.

34:25 Adam Well, here's the thing too, you're not gay, right, Danae?

34:29 Caller No, I'm not.

34:30 Adam Right, but you're heterosexual.

34:31 Caller Yeah.

34:32 Adam You've been heterosexual since birth.

34:34 Caller Yeah.

34:34 Adam But you haven't given a guy, you didn't give a guy a hand job when you were four, right?

34:38 Caller No.

34:39 Adam No. But you're still heterosexual since birth. You know what I mean? So I don't think he was thinking he was, boy, I could go for a nice penis at age two. You know what I'm saying? But I think that's what they mean since birth.

34:53 Caller Well, did something happen to him when he was younger? Because how can people begin to be gay? You know what I mean?

34:59 Adam Oh, they can do it. Yeah.

35:01 Guest Just as you may never have imagined yourself, just the friends that I have that are gay tell me, A, why would I choose this kind of, why would I choose this, the lifestyle and the rejection and all that stuff, the prejudice?

35:15 Drew Many gay males would choose otherwise.

35:16 Guest Oh, God.

35:17 Drew Or try to live a heterosexual life.

35:18 Guest Or try to have marriages or relationships for a few years. And the other flip side of that is they knew from a very early age, they may not have known, oh, I want another guy, but they knew something was off at a very early age and they all said that. That's the one thing they all have in common.

35:32 Deal with the fact that I am gay.

35:33 Adam Oh, Drew, please, the mic's hot. Danae?

35:35 Guest Yeah.

35:36 Adam But it is true, he could have been goosed by some drunken uncle when he was five and that could have helped him.

35:41 Guest God forbid.

35:42 Adam You know what I mean? But either way, it's not worth examining it.

35:45 Drew It's not something you're going to change. Yeah.

35:47 Adam Why, you attracted to him?

35:48 Oh, no.

35:50 Adam No.

35:50 Drew Just curious.

35:51 Adam All right.

35:52 Caller Yeah, I'm just wondering.

35:54 Adam You're fine. Don't try to change him.

35:56 Caller No, no.

35:57 Guest He's perfect.

35:58 Adam Listen, I wish I could be gay. I'm the exact opposite of these guys. I've thought about this lifestyle, shacking up.

36:04 Guest Well, you should. You'd be the perfect person.

36:06 Adam I'd be great gay.

36:07 Guest I'm telling you, it's the blend of the two perfect.

36:10 Adam I would be the leader of all gays, by the way. Whatever Jesse Jackson is to the blacks, I would be that to the gays. Where is the gay leadership?

36:18 Guest Head of the parade.

36:19 Adam Head of the gays.

36:20 Drew But think about the lifestyle.

36:21 Adam King of all gays.

36:22 Drew It'd be you and Jimmy.

36:23 Adam Oh, what a life.

36:26 Drew You'd be fixing everything around the house.

36:28 Adam TV in every room.

36:29 Drew He'd be in his slippers. You'd be bringing him.

36:31 Adam Oh, on vacation. Oh, what a wonderful time.

36:34 Drew You're both literally millionaires.

36:35 Adam Oh, taking a me day every other day, finding myself. Oh, it'd be great.

36:41 Guest Free to love, baby.

36:43 Adam Karen?

36:44 Yes.

36:44 Adam You're 21.

36:45 Caller Yes.

36:45 Adam What's up?

36:47 Caller Well, my husband and I are about to have our first baby. And before we got pregnant, we've been together quite a while. Before we got pregnant, we partied quite a bit. And I did LSD about three or four times.

37:00 Drew Right.

37:01 Caller And someone told me that acid deposits itself in your spinal cord. And I'm wondering if that's going to cause me to have any kind of problems with me or the baby if I choose to get an epidural or a spinal.

37:12 Drew No, no. It damages your brain. But that won't affect anything to do with the anesthesia.

37:18 Adam And you're fine.

37:20 Caller Okay.

37:20 Adam Yeah. Your kid will be fine.

37:22 Caller I also have a small question about circumcision.

37:26 I'm very against it.

37:28 Drew Why?

37:28 Caller I don't...

37:30 Caller Ouch!

37:31 Caller How come? I just feel like, you know, if the baby is born with it...

37:34 Drew They use anesthesia now. They don't feel it.

37:37 Adam Yeah. And the Jews get the kids drunk. So they never feel anything.

37:43 Caller But is it better medically to have it done?

37:46 Adam Yeah.

37:46 Drew Well, it's a coin toss. Yeah, it's a coin toss.

37:48 Adam What about your husband? Where's he coming down on it?

37:52 Caller He's debating also.

37:54 Adam Is he circumcised?

37:55 Caller Yes.

37:56 Adam Yeah. And he doesn't like his penis?

37:58 Guest I've heard the pleasure factor has decreased with circumcision. I don't know.

38:02 Guest Well, I heard it was increased. But you have to ask yourself, it's like naming your kid like, you know, Montana. They're going to probably be the only kid in school named Montana and there is the possibility of getting teased because they might be of the minority in that department when it comes to getting naked in the locker room or whatever.

38:20 Drew In this country. And some, we get calls from young ladies who freak out about it. They're not used to saying that. And it does increase the risk of a local infection. And there are no cases of penile cancer in circumcised males. So they debate that there may be some medical reason for it. And there's business about the, you know, the skin thickness, the tip of the penis, the predominant call we get here is guys getting too aroused, right? They come too quickly. So that's neither here nor there.

38:45 Adam Karen. Yes. Here's the deal. Why don't you leave it up to your husband? I know it sounds sexist, but it's his...

38:52 Drew How dare you? How?

38:54 Adam His son's penis.

38:55 Drew How dare you?

38:55 Adam You don't really care one way or the other. You know, let him make the call.

39:00 Drew She does care. She's saying no.

39:02 Caller I just, my husband's not really, I mean, he doesn't really care one way or the other.

39:07 Adam Oh, all right. Well, then you make the call.

39:08 Drew Let the kid decide. I would be pissed if they had not circumcised me.

39:13 Adam You would have.

39:13 Drew Then as an adult, you'd be like, oh, Christ. Now it hurts. Now it's a problem.

39:17 Adam All right.

39:17 Drew Now to take...

39:18 Adam Drew has two sons. He had them both circumcised. And anyone who listens to the show with any regularity knows that whatever Drew has done, he wants everyone else to do. Therefore, it validates his decision as a father. You understand?

39:31 Drew I think I'm going to call...

39:32 Adam Listen, it couldn't hurt. Here's the deal.

39:33 Drew Couldn't hurt.

39:34 Adam It couldn't hurt to circumcise Junior, all right?

39:37 Drew Think of all the calls we got the guys with the stenosis and the tears and stuff.

39:41 Adam Yeah.

39:41 Drew You want to go through that?

39:42 Adam Play it safe. Get them circumcised and...

39:46 Guest Call it a day.

39:47 Adam Drew, are you getting some kind of kickback from the Moyle Board of America or something, the NBA? Is there a union of Moyles? How does that work? And if you're a non-Jew who performs circumcision, are you like an honorary Moyle or are you not a Moyle? Do you have to be a rabbi to be a Moyle? Does anyone who cuts a penis off, I mean the foreskin off, become a Moyle? You know what I'm saying?

40:18 Drew Well, Moyle School is where you go.

40:19 Adam Sure.

40:20 Drew And then you have to be blessed by a rabbi at the Moyle School.

40:22 Adam Oh, you do.

40:23 Drew And the Moylesters organization has to sign you in.

40:26 Adam Yeah, there's a Moyle certification. Jillian?

40:29 Caller Hi.

40:29 Adam Year 19, what's up?

40:31 Caller Yes, I am. My question is, for about the past year, I've been really attracted to older guys. And I'm just wondering if that's like a phase that I'll grow out of.

40:40 Drew You're 19? How old?

40:44 Caller Mid-40s.

40:44 Drew Well, the guys are Adam's age.

40:46 Guest What's your relationship like with your father?

40:48 Caller Oh, it's great. You have no problems.

40:51 Drew This is your biological father?

40:53 Adam Yeah. And this is something that just started up. I mean, it's been a year, but it wasn't this way when you were 16 or 17?

41:00 Caller Well, I mean, I never really thought about it. I've always been attracted to older guys. It's just-

41:03 Drew Is it like guys in the media or rock stars, that sort of thing or?

41:07 Caller No, just regular guys.

41:08 Guest Guys who are president?

41:11 Guest 40-year-old mechanics in your neighborhood?

41:13 Adam Have you acted on it? You dated an older guy?

41:16 Caller Well, yeah.

41:17 My boyfriend now is 47.

41:19 Drew Oh, okay. Something's wrong.

41:21 Grandpa?

41:22 Adam Yeah.

41:23 Caller Well, yeah.

41:24 Guest Well, my parents have been married 28 years, and my parents are 17 years apart.

41:29 Adam Your dad's 17 years older?

41:30 Guest Uh-huh.

41:31 Adam And they met- your mom was 13 when she met him?

41:34 Guest No. My dad's actually pretty old. He's like 67.

41:37 Adam Right. You know, it's great. This happens all the time, and women live 10 years longer than men. So dad kicks off, and the woman goes on for another 40 years. I mean, this is the fact. This is the way it works.

41:51 Guest But generally, there's like- that's why I asked immediately about the father. There's the obvious, you know, first day of psychology.

41:56 Adam It's really- it's really- I'd say the average couple, the average couple in America, maybe the guy's three years old or maybe he's four years old. I don't know if the average is 3.7 or whatever. And then the average guy kicks off eight or nine years before the average woman. So there's like a 14, 12, 13, 14 years of women-

42:16 Drew Widowdom.

42:17 Adam Widowdom, where they just spend the guy's money and cry into the urn.

42:20 Drew Now this girl-

42:21 Guest Do they get a third win then?

42:22 Guest Excuse me, what if the woman makes more money than the guy?

42:25 Adam Well, still you figure the guy was insured. I mean, you know what was funny? Remember I was telling- my grandmother was talking to me about this and she was telling me about this lesbianism that's going on in these old-age homes because it's all women. I mean, Drew, you go into one of these convalescent homes, what percentage is it of women?

42:42 Guest They're just having sleepovers.

42:44 Caller It's just my math, dude.

42:46 Drew Yeah, 90%.

42:47 Adam So you go into one of these places, 90% women, you go into one of these convalescent homes.

42:51 Guest I've never heard that.

42:52 Adam There's just like one or two old guys whose penis don't work who are having to like take care of all these hens in his hen house, him being the rooster. And I said to my grandma, I said, Oh man, I can't wait. That's going to be great. I mean, one day when I'm planning on being that guy in the hallway, I'm 85 and I'm shacked up in a bunch of old broads. I'll be a service in all of them. And she said, you'll be one of the guys who kicks off. And I thought, hey, thanks, grandma.

43:20 Caller That's nice.

43:21 Adam I'll be in the ground. Yeah, you're right.

43:24 Drew This girl's boyfriend.

43:25 Adam I'll race you to the grave. What do you say? That's nice. What do you say? Put a little money on it? How are we going to collect? Let's take 20 bucks. We'll put it on the fridge with a magnet and whoever loses it, I'll just go get it. Whoever wins will go collect it.

43:38 Caller Stop running, grandma.

43:39 Drew This girl's boyfriend that was 27 years her senior.

43:42 Caller Yeah.

43:42 Adam So he is flawed.

43:44 Drew He is flawed and that's what bothers me about her.

43:45 Caller Indeed.

43:46 Adam Right.

43:47 Drew That she would put up with a guy that's such a mess.

43:51 Guest Well, why do you say put up? I mean, she didn't say anything about-

43:53 Drew Choose. Think about it.

43:55 Guest Who's the guy that's 47 years old, 19 year old?

43:56 Guest Yeah, but what if he's like evolved and older and like-

43:59 Adam Evolved wouldn't go out with a 19 year old.

44:01 Guest Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's 19.

44:03 Guest What do they have to talk about?

44:04 Guest You're right.

44:04 Guest Come on.

44:05 Guest Yeah. Yeah, the 19.

44:06 Adam Yeah. Hey, when are you getting your braces off?

44:09 Guest Yeah.

44:09 Adam Hey, good.

44:10 Guest Did you do your homework? Okay. Now come here.

44:14 Come here and give me a hug.

44:19 Adam Hey, Jillian.

44:20 Guest I hope it wasn't like that.

44:21 Adam What's this guy do for a living?

44:25 Caller He's just like computer stuff.

44:27 Adam Uh-huh.

44:28 Caller He fixes computers.

44:29 Adam Oh, fixes them.

44:30 Drew Internet.

44:31 Adam Does he make money?

44:32 Caller Yeah.

44:33 Drew Out of his home?

44:34 Caller No.

44:34 Adam I see.

44:35 Caller He works for a company.

44:36 Adam All right.

44:37 Guest What do you do?

44:38 Caller I work for the city.

44:40 Adam What do you do? What do you do for the city?

44:41 Caller I'm a building supervisor.

44:43 Adam Oh, really?

44:44 Guest Yeah, an inspector.

44:45 Adam This is one of those NTSB, whatever. What do they call it? No, not NTSB. What are those? They have to have a chick on-site jobs?

44:56 Caller Sort of.

44:56 Adam Like you don't know what you're doing, but we need a chick and a black guy and a man who's going to stand around and do nothing and pay everybody.

45:01 Guest Kind of like the nurse and the gynecologist.

45:05 Adam You're that chick, right?

45:06 Caller Right.

45:07 Adam So you supervise a building site, but you don't know anything about building, right?

45:10 Caller Well, not the building per se.

45:13 Caller Right.

45:14 Adam Just because it's going to twist the knife in my gut even deeper. How much they pay you an hour for standing around not knowing anything?

45:20 Caller Eight bucks.

45:21 Adam Okay, good. That's fine. I'll sleep like a baby tonight. All right. I'm going to lobby Congress to see if we can get it down to $750. All right. Jillian, I don't trust this guy.

45:35 Drew We're concerned.

45:35 Adam Keep an eye on him.

45:36 Drew Watch out for him.

45:37 Adam And we don't trust you either.

45:39 Drew You have such a great dad. Why isn't he concerned?

45:41 Adam Yeah. Where's Papa?

45:42 Caller He doesn't know.

45:44 Adam You out of the house?

45:46 Caller No.

45:47 Adam So when this guy picks you up in his lark, which is a motorized scooter, it's got a basket on it. What the old folks get around it.

45:54 He's like, get in.

45:56 Guest Hop on.

45:58 Adam Quick, quick. Your dad doesn't know anything about the guy?

46:01 Caller No.

46:01 Adam All right, Jillian. All right. Listen, keep your eyes open. I don't trust him.

46:05 Caller Why don't you trust him?

46:06 Adam Because he's 47 and you're 19 and that's flawed. And when you're 47 and you think about dating a 19-year-old, you'll understand.

46:13 Guest Wait till you get there. You'll see.

46:14 Adam All right. All right. All right. Enjoy. We'll take a little break. We'll be back. I said, in your house.

46:51 Guest Oh, yeah. I'm like, what?

46:54 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. The starves of strong, I was about to say bad medicine for some reason, strong medicine are in here tonight. Rosa Blasi and Josh Coxx, both in the show. They're both candy strippers. Whoopi Goldberg is that. Now, how often does Whoopi, Whoopi's not in every episode, is she?

47:20 Guest No.

47:20 Guest So far, it's been about one every four.

47:23 Adam Uh-huh. All right, so she makes an appearance.

47:26 Guest She looks good in candy stripes, too, man.

47:27 Guest Yeah.

47:28 Adam And Lifetime Sunday Nights at 9 o'clock. All righty. Where the hell were we? Let's talk to Jessica. Jessica?

47:38 Caller Yes.

47:39 Adam 15, what's going on?

47:40 Caller I seem to be attracted to things that harm me, like, um, I've done sex and drugs and running away, and I always seem to end up in abusive relationships. I don't know why.

47:49 Adam Oh, you're 15.

47:51 Drew Well, you're insightful about it anyway. Have you tried to stop?

47:53 Caller Yeah, but...

47:54 Drew What happens?

47:55 Caller Well, I was okay for a while, but I seem to, like, go back into it after a couple months.

47:59 Drew Why?

48:01 Caller I don't know. I guess it's the people that surround me or something. It's just, it seems like I just do it for everybody else around me, and I can't really stop, and it just ends up hurting me.

48:11 Adam Yeah. Where's your dad?

48:13 Caller He's at home.

48:14 Adam Yeah. You have a good relationship with him?

48:16 Caller It's terrible.

48:17 Drew Why?

48:18 Adam What are you running away from?

48:20 Caller My parents are really, really strict, and I don't really like girls too much, so I ran away, like, twice.

48:27 Drew Did they physically abuse you or anything?

48:30 Caller My mom, like, hit me a couple of times when I was little, but it wasn't, like, really bad. I mean, the worst thing was, like, she called me a bitch and, like, hit me, but that was it.

48:39 Adam Are they religious?

48:40 Caller Yes, extremely religious.

48:42 Adam Really?

48:43 Caller Yeah.

48:44 Guest Are they catching you doing these things? I mean, are they finding out?

48:47 Caller Yeah, sometimes. Like, recently they haven't, but I don't want them to. I'm trying to, like, fix it, and I, like, just became pregnant, and I don't know what to do about that either.

48:59 Adam Well, what are you going to do about that?

49:01 Caller Well, I'm not sure. I've got to talk to the father, and he's sort of running away. He lives in a different state.

49:08 Drew Why do you want to talk to the father?

49:09 Caller To figure out what we should do.

49:11 Drew Why don't you figure it out?

49:12 Adam He's a fugitive, right?

49:13 Drew He's gone.

49:13 Guest He's out of the picture.

49:14 Caller Yeah.

49:15 Guest Are you in a serious, serious, long-term relationship with this person?

49:19 Drew No.

49:19 Caller No.

49:20 Guest Yeah, just decide on your own. Forget the father.

49:23 Guest Figure it out for yourself.

49:25 Guest Maybe figure it out with your parents.

49:26 Adam Hey, Jessica?

49:27 Caller Yeah?

49:27 Adam I know you're doing a lot of rebelling because you've P.O.ed it to your parents, and you're going to show them that they treated you wrong and all that kind of stuff, but the reality is you're just kind of taking it out on yourself. You're getting pregnant, you're going to get a venereal disease, or maybe possibly another venereal disease, you're going to get hooked on something, you're going to screw up your future, and then the joke will be on you. Right?

49:50 Caller Okay.

49:51 Adam Let me tell you the best payback for parents. This is what I did. I got rich, and now I rub their noses in it all the time. I hold at least my dad a Infiniti Q45 top of the line, and I wave the contract in front of him every time I see him. What a booger.

50:08 Caller I pretend to light a cigarette off it sometimes, and he yells no and dives for it.

50:14 Adam It's great.

50:14 Drew If you just did that, it would be no big deal, but then you get on the radio and complain like hell about it.

50:18 Adam Yeah. You get a radio show and start bashing them over the air.

50:22 Guest Jessica, aim high.

50:23 Adam Who bashes their family more than I do, Drew? Honestly.

50:26 Guest No one.

50:26 Adam Yeah. I just got done whacking off to my mom. Oh, that was way out of context.

50:35 Guest You are so M&M of you.

50:37 Adam You had to hear the sentence before that. Hey, all right. So Jessica, you know what you're doing. Can you stop doing it?

50:43 Caller Yeah, I can try again.

50:45 Adam Yeah.

50:46 Drew If you can't, how about getting some treatment?

50:48 Caller I've done that. I've been on indoor inpatient. I went on this three-week outdoor backpacking therapy.

50:56 Guest Was that at your parents' behest, or did you decide to do that yourself?

50:59 Caller No, they made me do it both times.

51:01 Guest Well, maybe, yeah. Maybe you might try and do something for yourself instead of having them force you to.

51:05 Caller Oh, really?

51:05 Guest Yeah.

51:06 Adam There's a novel approach to life.

51:09 Guest You might actually enjoy it.

51:10 Adam Here's the thing. Just stop it. Whatever you want to do, don't do it.

51:13 Caller Okay. Thank you.

51:13 Adam All right. That's a universal advice that goes out to everyone, parents and children alike. I was listening to the radio today, driving around, and I heard them talking on the news about these little scooters, these razors that are all over the place, and how it's driving the school board insane. Someone from the school board came on, and they said, they're urging parents to just use common sense when it comes to these things. I thought to myself, if you're urging someone to use common sense, it's too late. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, common sense is one of those sort of... It's like saying, I'm urging you to have... It's like an olfactory sense. It's like having a better sense of smell. Right. Really, really... When you talk about common sense, it's no different than any other sense you have. Either you got it or you don't. And that's why they call it common sense. It's not something you learn abroad one summer at school. You know what I'm saying? So let's not urge anyone to use common sense. Whoever has it, they're already using it. Those who aren't, don't have it. There. We've done the math. We'll take... I'm taking the pressure off everyone who's currently not using common sense. That's all I'm saying.

52:24 Caller You know who you are.

52:26 Adam We'll be back.

52:30 Caller I'm back in a minute.

53:12 Adam Hey, yeah, there we go, I screwed that one up. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Drew, are you tired?

53:22 Drew Yeah.

53:22 Adam Yeah, I'm swimming. I'm really, really tired.

53:25 Drew Did that Big Brother show today.

53:27 Adam I haven't heard of that one. What did you do over there?

53:31 Drew Well, they offered them a bunch of money to leave, and they wanted to bring this other girl in. And if they took the money, I would have been able to go home. If they didn't take the money out of a five-minute segment, they didn't take the money.

53:41 Adam How much?

53:42 Drew $50,000.

53:43 Adam To get out?

53:44 Drew Yep.

53:45 Adam How many are left in the house?

53:46 Drew Six.

53:47 Adam And what's the winner get?

53:49 Drew 500.

53:50 Guest 500,000.

53:51 Drew Yeah.

53:51 Adam But what are the chances? I would have taken the 50.

53:54 Drew Oh, I would have been the second.

53:55 Guest Oh, yeah.

53:57 Drew But that was what my whole segment was about, is about how the confinement and the forces of this group affect their judgment.

54:03 Adam And no one got out of the house? They don't have anywhere to go.

54:09 Drew There's some of that, too.

54:10 Guest Also, they probably want to hang in to the end, trying to cash in on this, obviously, celebrity of survivors.

54:15 Adam Yeah, but there's that element. But if you wanted to get out of the house and someone offered you 50 and you sort of did the math, there's six of you left in the house, you'd probably take the 50. I mean, if you had some hot girlfriend that was waiting for you to get home or something like that, you'd get the hell out of there.

54:27 Guest Just a plain old decent home.

54:29 Adam Right. Somewhere to go. Something without wheels on it.

54:32 Drew I almost got Brittany up here tonight. She's going to come.

54:34 Adam You know, you throw that name around like we're supposed to know it, Drew. Is that someone who's in the house?

54:39 Drew Was in the house.

54:40 Adam Have the ratings dropped off now that survivors not in front of it?

54:44 Drew No, not the live show.

54:45 Adam Really? Still doing poorly?

54:46 Drew Nothing really.

54:47 Adam Oh, I see. All right. And are they paying you for that? Not that much, huh? Not the 50,000 that they offer the guys? Hey, Drew, see, I would have piped up and said, give me the 50. I'll go. I'll leave right now. I'll never come back. I'll give 10 to my agent and I'm gone. You'll never see me again. Strong Medicine is the name of the show we're talking about tonight. Rosa Blasi and Josh Coxx are both here. Lifetime, Sunday nights at 9 o'clock. It's new. It's getting great reviews. Whoopi Goldberg's Stink is all over it, which I have mixed feelings about. My feeling... Here's my honest Whoopi Goldberg take. Okay. Okay. Here it is.

55:26 Guest Watch it. She's got her hand in every part across town.

55:29 Adam Here's my Whoopi. Oh, listen, I've alienated myself from the Hollywood community a long time ago. So I'll say what I feel. Whoopi Goldberg is a very talented person. And there's plenty of people out there. Not plenty. There's a handful of people like Robin Williams, coincidence of the friends, and Billy Crystal. All amazingly talented people. Not that funny. Just really talented. I give them talent.

55:55 Guest How do they have longevity of career if they aren't talented?

55:59 Adam They are talented. They're very talented.

56:01 Guest But you just said, not funny.

56:03 Adam Just talented. Very talented. I would never argue that a guy like Robin Williams wasn't just chock full of talent.

56:13 Guest But also you probably never watched all three on the rise during their comic careers. And you're talking about people, especially Whoopi Goldberg.

56:21 Adam Whoopi Goldberg has overcome ridiculous odds. I was aware, well, people who were attacked by bears have overcome odds. It doesn't make them funny.

56:30 Guest She's not the role model of the Hollywood female ideal and also her being of a different ethnicity. She's overcome three huge obstacles.

56:40 Adam Okay. But let me counter that argument with something.

56:44 Guest Is she funny or is she chock full?

56:46 Adam How many millions of dollars does Whoopi Goldberg make a year? Over 10?

56:50 Guest Oh, I.

56:50 Adam Maybe 20?

56:52 Guest Probably on the worst year of her life.

56:53 Adam Okay. Listen, how do you make that I'm being held down argument when you make 20 million a year?

56:58 Guest Because you have to, for the majority of my life.

57:00 Adam If she was a white male, she made 40 million a year? Yeah, but she hasn't been as. If she was a white male, they'd be like, honey, you ain't that funny.

57:05 Caller Now go home.

57:06 Adam Go back to your job driving a truck.

57:08 Guest People wouldn't keep giving her the millions of dollars if she wasn't that funny.

57:12 Adam But it's like Kevin Eubanks came on here from the Tonight Show. This guy's a racist. He really is. He's a black racist, and he was complaining during the commercials the whole time about the man keeping him down. And I'm thinking, hey, buddy, you get a million dollars a year for playing the guitar on a white show. I mean, I don't know what you... whatever you want to call it, you're making a million dollars a year. I mean, you can't make both arguments. That's all I'm saying.

57:33 Guest Well, you have to think, don't have people been celebrity longer than they've been alive? Like, if somebody's been a celebrity longer than they've been just, you know, a regular person, that argument might fly, but otherwise, I don't know, if you've...

57:45 Adam The man is not doing a great job of holding down Whoopi Goldberg. She's doing 15 shows and she hosts the Academy Awards. You know what I'm saying? We're not... Drew, you were at the White... Josh, you were at the White Guy meeting. You were there, but he said, and we did, we brought up Whoopi Goldberg and we decided it's gotten... Somebody dropped the ball. We made an announcement.

58:06 Guest I had my personal assistant sit in for me.

58:08 Guest Right, that's right. The original question was about how can these, like you used the three people as an example of Robin Williams and Billy Crystal, how could these three people be and not be funny?

58:16 Adam No, I understand it.

58:17 Guest Well, there must be something.

58:18 Adam No, because they're amazingly talented.

58:21 Guest Okay, you just don't think they're funny.

58:22 Adam I just don't think they're funny. Everyone listen to me. That's right. I think what Whoopi Goldberg has is like what a band like U2 has, which is they're all right band, all their songs sort of sound alike.

58:34 Drew But unique.

58:35 Adam No, you're supposed to like them and everyone's scared not to say anything about it.

58:39 Drew No, I like U2 and I like Whoopi. They're all right.

58:41 Adam They're all right. You're high. They're all right. You're high.

58:44 Drew They're all right.

58:45 Caller Let me guess your next argument.

58:46 Guest Michael Jordan's like okay as a basketball player, but there's better.

58:49 Adam No, that's proven. But I mean, does U2 have a song that doesn't start with bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka singing about the plight of the Irish men again?

59:02 Guest The plight of the held down Whoopis.

59:04 Adam They're all right band. They're good band, but they're not as good as everyone thinks. There are plenty of good bands who don't get half half the airplay that U2 does.

59:11 Drew I love that he bucka bucka bucka.

59:12 Caller Bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka.

59:17 Drew I think that's brilliant. What you're saying is that there are more talented musicians, more complex music out there.

59:24 Adam No, I'm saying there are once in a while a performer comes around and it works in a good way and it works in a bad way. Whether it's a musical act or a comedian or an actor or whoever it is, who aren't as good as people say they are or as the community embraces or society embraces them, and people are scared to pipe up because they'll be labeled an idiot.

59:51 Guest But I agree, but I think with longevity, I don't know, but with longevity, I mean, when you're talking about like, you know, Debbie Gibson, you know, but if you're talking about longevity of career, I don't know, there's got to be something for those people to keep making projects of money and rewards.

1:00:06 Adam Here be my point, here be my point. Hanson is not as bad as a band as everyone makes fun of, and U2 is not as good of a band as everyone says. They're both meet somewhere in the middle.

1:00:17 Guest But how do you know? Because Hanson's like eight weeks old. And I don't mean the kids' performance.

1:00:22 Adam I'm just saying people would use, like, Hanson as a comedy punch line.

1:00:26 Guest Right, right, right.

1:00:27 Adam Right? And they're really three pretty talented kids who all play instruments. I don't have any Hanson records. I don't want to go down that path. But what I'm saying is they're not as bad as everyone jokes about. And U2 is not as untouchable. And Whoopi Goldberg, amazing talent. And so is Billy Crystal. So is Robin Williams. But not as funny as everyone says. You know what I'm saying? That's all I'm saying. Why don't we hear what you like? That's all I'm saying.

1:00:54 Caller Yeah, what do you like? Who do you think is amazing?

1:00:56 Adam Who? Okay. Who's? Oh, that's the theme. That's the theme to Taboo 2. That's a great musician. Taboo 2. What like band or what music?

1:01:09 Drew Who's Really Funny. Who's Really Funny.

1:01:11 Adam Oh, okay.

1:01:12 Guest Who's amazingly funny?

1:01:13 Adam Robert Schimmel.

1:01:14 Guest Who's amazingly funny, amazing longevity and amazingly, well, I guess, talented.

1:01:19 Adam George Carlin I've always liked. Yeah, Robert Schimmel is a real funny.

1:01:22 Do you like Chris Rock?

1:01:24 Adam Who the little overhyped there.

1:01:26 Guest Little overhyped again.

1:01:27 Adam Funny, but a little overhyped. Yeah, Bobcat Goldthwait is a guy who gets it worse than he is. He's actually a funnier guy than people give him credit for. Anderson just brought up Bobcat.

1:01:40 Guest Prior.

1:01:41 Guest But nothing is better than him marrying Nicky Cox.

1:01:45 Let's just keep going.

1:01:47 Adam Brian. Yeah. Oh my God.

1:01:49 Yeah, it's great.

1:01:50 Adam What? No, Bobcat's wife is, oh Drew, why am I even talking to you? Like you're going to know who we're talking about. She married the puppet, Drew.

1:01:59 Guest She married the puppet.

1:02:01 Caller No.

1:02:02 Adam Have you seen his show? OK, so why? Why are we talking?

1:02:06 Guest Thank you.

1:02:07 Adam Brian?

1:02:07 Yeah.

1:02:07 Adam You're 28.

1:02:08 Caller I'm 28.

1:02:09 Adam What is that?

1:02:10 Caller Well, I've got a question for you and Dr. Drew. First of all, I want to say I love The Man Show. It's a great show.

1:02:14 Adam There you go. Now, that's taste.

1:02:15 Guest That's funny. Yeah, whatever.

1:02:19 Caller Basically, I call it because my wife is addicted to the internet.

1:02:22 Drew What do you mean addicted?

1:02:24 Caller She used to spend time on it at work, probably five or six hours while she's at work.

1:02:28 Drew What is she doing on it?

1:02:29 Caller She's just chatting with some friends and she's really into the WWF and wrestling and all that garbage. I really don't know what to do about it. I've tried to ask her to cut back on it when she's at home, because we have two little girls. I have a three year old and a one year old.

1:02:47 Guest Try wrestling with her?

1:02:49 Guest Is there any cyber sex involved or is she going into any chat rooms like that or is it just the WWF, which I understand?

1:02:57 Caller They have a couple of the other girls that she's on with. They started their own little chat room I guess with some kind of role play fantasy thing.

1:03:06 Guest Female WWF role play.

1:03:08 Adam Does this have anything to do with WWF?

1:03:10 Caller No, it doesn't.

1:03:11 Drew What else is going on with your wife?

1:03:12 Adam Tell her Randy Savage is going to be on tomorrow night.

1:03:15 Caller I'm sure she'll be listening.

1:03:15 Drew What else is going on with your wife?

1:03:17 Caller Well, she had a bout of depression she's been going through also.

1:03:20 Drew No kidding.

1:03:21 Caller They had her on Paxil.

1:03:23 Adam Sure, when Andre the Giant died some years back. She took it pretty hard.

1:03:28 Drew Paxil?

1:03:28 Guest Yeah, they had her on Paxil.

1:03:30 Caller They just changed it recently. I guess she started seeing a new doctor. They did some tests on her and he changed her to Prozac. And she's been going through bouts for probably about six to seven months now. Once I asked her, when she gets home, she was on it for like eight, nine hours while she was at home.

1:03:48 Drew What else is up with her?

1:03:50 Caller Really, I can't tell. She really clams up. She doesn't really want to talk to me about it.

1:03:54 Adam How old is she?

1:03:55 Caller She's 28 also.

1:03:56 Drew How long have you known her?

1:03:57 Adam She's 28 and into pro-wrestling and a female. She's horribly flawed. It's like something's wrong with her.

1:04:06 Drew Bizarrely isolated in cyberspace and neglecting her children. There's really something going on here.

1:04:11 Adam What is-

1:04:13 Caller She doesn't have any privacy or I'm always trying to control her. It's nothing like that. I asked her if she'd cut back and spend time with me and the kids. She basically told me no. And if I cut it off, she was going to move out.

1:04:28 Guest If you cut off what? The computer, the cyber?

1:04:31 Caller Yeah. If I cut off the internet, she was going to move out.

1:04:33 Drew Move away from the children?

1:04:35 Caller Yeah. She moved out of our house about a month ago.

1:04:37 Drew Oh man.

1:04:38 Guest She's already out.

1:04:38 Caller Yeah. She's living with her mom right now.

1:04:40 Guest Oh wow.

1:04:40 Drew And doesn't see her kids?

1:04:42 Caller Actually, we change off. I have them about four days a week and she has them for like three days.

1:04:47 Adam Right. And they watch her play on the computer? Yeah.

1:04:50 Caller Actually, when the kids are with her, she doesn't have enough time to be on the computer, I guess.

1:04:55 Adam All right.

1:04:55 Caller Kind of forcing them to be, you know, with the kids instead of on the computer.

1:04:57 Drew Do you guys ever get any therapy together? A couple of times?

1:04:59 Caller I asked her if she would see counseling with me and she said yes. But then it's kind of like she just decided she didn't want to do that anymore.

1:05:07 Drew Does she just not want to be in this marriage?

1:05:08 Caller That's what I'm thinking. I really don't know.

1:05:11 Adam Has she ever hit you with a folding chair? No. I understand.

1:05:15 Drew Either something terribly wrong with this relationship or terribly wrong with her.

1:05:19 Adam Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I'm going with her.

1:05:23 Drew You think so?

1:05:23 Adam Well, the relationship's bad but that's because she's in it.

1:05:26 Drew Yeah.

1:05:27 Adam Hey, Brian, why did you marry this crazy bitch?

1:05:30 Caller I loved her, man.

1:05:31 Adam You are such an idiot. You didn't see any of this coming?

1:05:34 Guest How long were you together before you got married?

1:05:37 Caller Dated for six years.

1:05:38 Drew Wow.

1:05:39 Guest How weird. That's strange.

1:05:40 Drew And I think she may have...

1:05:41 Caller We've been married for four years now.

1:05:42 Adam So she may have a brain tumor or something.

1:05:44 Guest Or she might be having a brain tumor.

1:05:46 Drew I actually worry about that but she just checked out of this marriage.

1:05:50 Caller Yeah.

1:05:50 Adam Oh, boy. What do you do for a living?

1:05:53 Caller Right now, I work in a machine shop.

1:05:54 Adam Oh, you're around metal, huh?

1:05:56 Caller Yeah, I used to...

1:05:57 Adam That's a bad sign.

1:05:58 Caller I used to be at EMT and the hours were getting to me and her. So I don't know if that kind of...

1:06:06 Drew There's a lot missing to this story.

1:06:08 Adam Brian, here's the deal. And she doesn't have any reason to be angry at you? You didn't get caught cheating or anything like that?

1:06:14 Caller No.

1:06:15 Adam Okay, so here's the deal, Brian. You need to tell her that if she wants to save this relationship, she needs to work on it with you. And if she refuses to do that, then that's her checking out and she doesn't want to be in it. And you're going to have to just be as good a father as you can be without being in the relationship. And ultimately, it'll probably be a good thing for you. I'm sure there are a lot of hot chicks wandering around the machine shop where you work, right?

1:06:41 Caller Not really, no.

1:06:41 Adam Oh, really?

1:06:42 Caller They're just a bunch of old ladies.

1:06:43 Adam Surprise, surprise. Interesting. I had a totally different concept of the machine shop.

1:06:48 Guest That's not the machine shop I work in.

1:06:52 Adam All right. Oh, my God. I'll tell you. To me, I understand women who are not getting along with their husbands, but when they become sort of neglectful with their kids and stuff, it becomes like there's a flaw.

1:07:07 Guest She left. There's no-

1:07:10 Adam Oh, boy. I feel sorry for this guy. Sarah?

1:07:13 Hello?

1:07:14 Adam You're 16?

1:07:15 Caller Yeah. All right. Bear with me. I'm a little nervous here, right?

1:07:17 Adam Yeah.

1:07:18 Caller All right. I'm 16 and I've slept with 14 guys, and I haven't had an orgasm with one of them.

1:07:26 Guest No, you won't for many years.

1:07:28 Adam All right. We're going to do a little gamble.

1:07:29 Guest That's a dismal prognosis.

1:07:30 Drew I don't have any money with-

1:07:31 Adam You don't have any money? I got money out in the car. Rosa, Josh, you got any money?

1:07:36 Guest Cover you guys.

1:07:37 Adam You bring any money?

1:07:37 Guest I got some cash.

1:07:38 Drew Yeah, I got some cash.

1:07:40 Adam Hold on a second, Sarah.

1:07:41 Caller All right.

1:07:42 Adam All right. How long have you been 16?

1:07:45 Caller I turned 16 April, last April.

1:07:48 Drew Okay.

1:07:49 Adam Last April?

1:07:50 Caller Yeah. April had just passed.

1:07:52 Adam I see. I know, because otherwise you'd be 15, right?

1:07:56 Guest We're betting on whether somebody switched her on or not.

1:07:58 Caller Yeah.

1:07:59 Adam Yeah. Yeah, sounds like Josh knows the show. I got my money out in the car. You want to hang on or just gamble? I'll get it during the break?

1:08:06 Drew Yeah, get it during the break. Let's gamble then.

1:08:07 Adam Is that you guys got money?

1:08:09 Drew Yeah.

1:08:09 Adam Can we see it?

1:08:10 Guest Ready to go.

1:08:11 Guest You want to see it?

1:08:13 Guest I got strong medicine money.

1:08:14 Adam Informal survey here. Oh, look at that.

1:08:16 Guest My purse is in the car.

1:08:18 Adam Really?

1:08:18 Guest Yeah, really.

1:08:19 Adam I'll walk you out there during the break.

1:08:20 Guest Okay, sweet. I'll give you my code.

1:08:22 Guest I mean, I'm betting that she definitely, something's going on.

1:08:25 Guest What?

1:08:26 Adam Hold on a second. Let me write that down. Josh going on a limb making a very bold prediction that something is going on.

1:08:32 Guest Like you guys don't know already. You've been doing this a lot longer than I have.

1:08:35 Adam No, but we're not always right. Sometimes, we talk to people that are not very forthcoming.

1:08:40 Guest Indeed. Well, yes.

1:08:41 Adam So Josh, what do I put you down for?

1:08:43 Guest She may protect somebody.

1:08:45 Adam We gamble on her past, basically. Where does she come from? Physical abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholic father, abandonment, or maybe hyped libido and nothing's wrong.

1:08:57 Guest No, not at 16.

1:08:59 Guest All right.

1:08:59 Adam Just putting that out there.

1:09:01 Guest I'm going to go for the abuse neighborhood.

1:09:03 Adam All right. Which one?

1:09:04 Guest Let's say, I'm going to go the whole hog.

1:09:08 Drew Who did it?

1:09:09 Guest Physical. I'm going to say like uncle or dad.

1:09:12 Adam Sexual abuse?

1:09:13 Guest Sexual, yeah.

1:09:14 Adam Sexual abuse. Uncle or dad?

1:09:16 Guest Yeah.

1:09:17 Adam Which is it? Someone may pick sexual abuse. That's being fair.

1:09:22 Guest All right.

1:09:24 Adam I'll write down uncle slash dad.

1:09:26 Guest Okay.

1:09:26 Adam Uncle dad.

1:09:27 Guest Thanks, man. Thanks.

1:09:28 Adam That's a new sitcom that could come out on the WB.

1:09:30 Guest Uncle slash dad.

1:09:31 Adam Uncle dad. Oh, my gosh.

1:09:33 Guest All right.

1:09:35 Adam Rosa, what do you think?

1:09:36 Guest I think that you guys are very insightful. I just automatically go to just something simpler, like what's your relationship like with your father? And she's acting out. She's obviously needing attention in acting out sexually.

1:09:48 Drew What is it like with her dad? What would you predict it to have been like?

1:09:50 Guest Honestly, I don't know. But obviously, craving attention that she did not get from him.

1:09:56 Drew So paint the relationship with her dad.

1:09:58 Guest So perhaps he was never around. He worked all the time? Or just abandoned. Perhaps he was never around. Perhaps he basically ignored. Maybe he was around all the time, but he pretty much ignored her. And this is her way of acting out. But that's a pretty good point, the molestation. But it wasn't my first original thought. He gets that.

1:10:15 Drew He gets that.

1:10:16 Guest So that's acting out to get attention using your body.

1:10:21 Drew More will hopefully be revealed. Sexual abuse is taken. The dad out of the home, which is Rosa's thing, basically. I'm getting heavy duty to neglect. So I'll say lots of kids, lots of siblings, and parents were sort of physically abusive as a way of controlling them.

1:10:36 Adam Lots more than four brothers and sisters?

1:10:39 Drew Four or more.

1:10:40 Adam Okay. I'm gonna go dad out of the picture early. Stepdad did something.

1:10:47 Guest Oh, that's a good one.

1:10:49 Adam Thank you. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Hope our stepfather molested him.

1:10:54 Guest Oh, God.

1:10:54 Adam Here we go. Sarah? Yeah? All right. There's $4 riding on this.

1:11:01 Guest Four whole dollars. Four? I didn't sign anything.

1:11:05 Adam Yes, you did.

1:11:06 Guest Oh, what the?

1:11:07 Adam Sarah? Yeah? Let's talk about your past.

1:11:11 Caller My father passed away when I was eight. And I don't have any brothers or sisters.

1:11:16 Adam Oh, Drew has one.

1:11:18 Caller Yeah. My mom, she works.

1:11:21 Adam Yeah.

1:11:21 Caller And I pretty much had a pretty kind of perfect family life. I never had anything really wrong.

1:11:27 Adam Really?

1:11:27 Drew Your dad died when you were eight.

1:11:28 Caller Yeah, but I'm saying, like, my mom took care of me after that.

1:11:31 Drew What did he die of?

1:11:32 Caller He died of a brain aneurysm.

1:11:34 Drew So very, very suddenly.

1:11:36 Adam Wow.

1:11:36 Drew He didn't drink or anything before that?

1:11:37 Caller No.

1:11:38 Adam What did he do for a living?

1:11:40 Caller He was a stockbroker.

1:11:41 Adam I see.

1:11:42 Guest Is there a stepdad in there somewhere?

1:11:44 Caller My mom is a boyfriend, but he's not really a randled much. He lives in California.

1:11:49 Adam I see. California. Troublemaker.

1:11:51 Drew He's a freak. Why all the sexual acting out? What do you think you're looking for there?

1:11:57 Caller I honestly don't know. Like, all the guys I slept with, I dated.

1:12:02 Guest Yeah, still, you're pretty 16, though. 14 guys.

1:12:05 Guest What do you consider date? Like, what would you say is the average of the length of these relationships? Is it a month, two months?

1:12:10 Adam Here's what constitutes date. Hi, I'm Jim. Yeah, right. Thanks. I can take your pants off.

1:12:15 Caller Thank you. No, like, about a month, a month and a half.

1:12:20 Adam A month, a month and a half.

1:12:22 Guest That would make sense if you start dating, like, beginning of high school, you start dating when you're like 13, 14. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

1:12:28 Caller I was 14.

1:12:30 Guest So this just pretty much started in the last two years.

1:12:31 Drew How old was that guy?

1:12:32 Caller He was 16.

1:12:33 Drew 16. Yeah.

1:12:35 Guest Where are you meeting the rest of the guys?

1:12:37 Caller Huh?

1:12:38 Guest Where do you meet the rest of the guys? I mean, are they all your age?

1:12:40 Caller No. None of them are my age.

1:12:43 Guest What's the oldest?

1:12:45 Caller The oldest I've dated, what I have to say, would be 21.

1:12:49 Caller Oh, boy.

1:12:50 Adam Okay. So, listen, I think your dad, I mean, it's not abandonment when he is, or at least it's, you know, with a note from the doctor, you have an aneurysm and you die, but your dad checked out early and checked out of your life and his life for that matter, too, and you were left with your mom, and I think everyone, I think you're looking for daddy out there now. Does it feel that way?

1:13:16 Caller Not really, like, I mean, of course, I miss my father and everything, but I understand that what I'm, the father figure I would like to have, I'm not going to find in one of the people I'm dating.

1:13:26 Drew Well, let's just go back to your original issue, which is that your orgasmic functioning typically doesn't.

1:13:32 Caller Yeah.

1:13:32 Drew That's not something, A, it may never happen during intercourse, period.

1:13:36 Caller Oh, really? Yes.

1:13:37 Drew And that's common. And B, orgasm in general is something that women don't figure out until late teens.

1:13:43 Guest No pun intended. You come into it with age.

1:13:46 Drew Late teens, 20s. And part of it is the geyser is completely clueless. And secondly, you learn how your central nervous system works and how to find that sort of intimate place where that physiology occurred.

1:13:59 Guest And I'm not there, Sarah, but I'm guessing the guys at 16 don't have a lot of foreplay happening.

1:14:05 Guest It probably doesn't last that long.

1:14:07 Caller Nothing really wrong with me.

1:14:08 Adam No, except for the fact that you're banging everyone who's walking, who's up on two legs.

1:14:14 Guest That's a much bigger problem than New York, yeah.

1:14:15 Adam That is a bigger problem, yeah.

1:14:17 Guest Especially when, you know, ten years from now, a guy wants to know how many guys you've slept with.

1:14:20 Adam You're doing some acting out.

1:14:22 Caller Well, I've done a lot of thinking about it. I'm not gonna pursue my feelings anymore when I feel just quickly for somebody.

1:14:29 Adam Good. There you go.

1:14:31 Caller I just wanted to make sure that there was nothing physically wrong with me.

1:14:33 Adam No, you're fine.

1:14:34 Guest I don't know. The guys are gonna want you 10 times more once you don't sleep with them.

1:14:39 Adam That's right. Indeed. You make them wait 15, 20 minutes. Oh, God. Oh, man. They go nuts. They'll explode.

1:14:45 Guest Popcorn, sodas, candy bars.

1:14:48 Adam All right, Sarah.

1:14:49 Caller All right. I just wanted to say, Adam, I watched you on Rock and Jack and that's pretty cool.

1:14:53 Adam Yeah.

1:14:54 Caller Yeah.

1:14:54 Adam I'm pretty hot, huh? All right. Thank you.

1:14:58 Caller Bye.

1:14:59 Adam I was bowling on an MTV show with Jimmy and Kid Rock or something. Oh, boy. They rerun those things. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Kevin of 16. Can't find anything to talk. Oh, he's been on hold for 95 minutes. Sweet. This is guaranteed a dud. Kevin?

1:15:19 Yeah.

1:15:20 Adam 16?

1:15:21 Yep.

1:15:21 Adam All right. You have a good question for us?

1:15:24 Kind of.

1:15:25 Adam All right. Good. You really know radio. That's what you call a tease. Hey, we got a good call coming up? Sort of? Could be. Could be. You never know. All right. We'll be back after this.

1:15:39 Caller Hello.

1:15:40 Caller This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:16:08 Adam It's the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. The Macho Man, Randy Savage, will be in here tomorrow night. He will get me in a figure four, possibly sodomize me right here in the studio for my remarks about the name Randy on a male. Randy is gay for horny, right?

1:16:31 Guest It's English, like I'm feeling rather Randy.

1:16:34 Adam Right, but the gays have adopted the English, or the Queen's English, is their language.

1:16:38 Guest Oh, I didn't get the memo.

1:16:39 Drew The Queen's.

1:16:39 Guest Queens have taken the Queen's English.

1:16:41 Adam The King's. Yeah, the Queen's English. Thanks very much. Sorry, Drew, I'm too tired. Strong Medicine is the name of the show. The very talented Whoopi Goldberg is, and now she, she's like what Barbara, what's her name is?

1:16:57 Drew Barbara Walters, The View.

1:16:58 Adam Is it with The View, right? Stop Spy?

1:17:00 Guest That's not a bad point. That's not a bad point.

1:17:02 Adam Not when Drew's there.

1:17:04 Guest Descends from the heavens.

1:17:05 Drew Whoopi wouldn't be there when I was there.

1:17:06 Adam Right. How many times she done The View?

1:17:09 Drew Five times.

1:17:10 Guest Well, then she's on it a lot more because The View's been on for several years.

1:17:13 Adam But have you ever been there when Barbara Walters was there?

1:17:16 Drew Yes, I have.

1:17:16 Adam Really? What happened?

1:17:18 Guest Do tell.

1:17:19 Drew She made a mistake.

1:17:19 Adam Another big celebrity coming on after you. Somebody?

1:17:23 Drew I don't remember, but she made a mistake, I'm sure.

1:17:25 Guest She took one look and walked away.

1:17:27 Drew I think I did it twice with her.

1:17:28 Adam Oh, really? What the hell are you doing The View so much for?

1:17:32 Guest He's doing all the big shows.

1:17:34 Guest He loves Babs.

1:17:35 Drew Any information on that show?

1:17:36 Adam Have we done The View twice? Have I done The View twice?

1:17:40 Drew Once, I think.

1:17:44 Guest I would love to see you in an all-female environment like that.

1:17:47 Adam I had a good time on The View. I never did get a tape of that, but I had a good time on The View.

1:17:52 Drew That was back when Debbie was still in it. Remember?

1:17:55 Adam Debbie Schnapalopoulos?

1:17:59 Guest That's so rude.

1:18:00 Adam What's her name?

1:18:01 Guest It begins with an M. I think she's Greek.

1:18:05 Adam Oh, she liked Drew.

1:18:06 Drew No, she liked you.

1:18:07 Adam Oh, she liked me? Yeah. Oh, that's right. Genius, that one. Why did they fire her?

1:18:10 Drew Lisa Ling liked me.

1:18:12 Adam Oh, that's right. Oh, yes.

1:18:14 Guest We should see your shiny big gold band gleaming in the light.

1:18:19 Adam Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, she liked me. That's right. I forgot about that.

1:18:23 Drew They fired her immediately.

1:18:25 Adam They heard she liked me.

1:18:26 Guest It was all over.

1:18:27 Adam Kevin?

1:18:28 Guest Yep.

1:18:28 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:18:30 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:30 Adam I'm on hold for 102 minutes now. Yeah.

1:18:32 Caller I've been asleep most of the time, so it doesn't matter.

1:18:34 Adam That's fantastic.

1:18:34 Caller Whoa.

1:18:35 Drew Good night, Kevin. Have a nice time.

1:18:37 Adam Kevin, I'm going to put you on hold for just another 15 minutes. All right?

1:18:39 Drew Dick weed.

1:18:40 Adam All right?

1:18:41 Caller Okay. Okay.

1:18:43 Adam He's very hustling, Kevin. Larry, when did they learn, Drew?

1:18:48 I don't know. Yeah. How's it going?

1:18:49 Adam You're 23.

1:18:50 Caller Yep.

1:18:51 Adam What's up?

1:18:52 Caller Well, basically, a friend of mine introduced me to Crack a long time ago. I'm like a year and a half ago.

1:19:00 Adam Good friend.

1:19:02 Caller He's one of those party animals that wants to experience everything. Right. Recently, over the last three and a half months, I'm just not interested in doing it all of a sudden.

1:19:13 Adam In the crack?

1:19:14 Caller Yeah.

1:19:14 Adam All right.

1:19:15 Caller Just dropping it all of a sudden. Now, is that normal or?

1:19:18 Drew Usually means something else picking up. Alcohol, pot?

1:19:21 Caller No. Nothing.

1:19:24 Drew You got any medication?

1:19:25 Caller No.

1:19:26 Adam How much were you doing when you were doing it?

1:19:29 Caller Every other week maybe, or maybe every three weeks.

1:19:32 Drew How long were your binges?

1:19:34 Caller Three days.

1:19:35 Adam Three days?

1:19:36 Drew Yeah. That's a typical binge.

1:19:37 Adam It's three days?

1:19:38 Guest Average.

1:19:39 Drew Yeah. Because they just can't go on.

1:19:41 Guest You can't stop.

1:19:41 Drew They start getting psychotic at that point.

1:19:43 Caller Yeah. You get paranoid. You can't handle it anymore.

1:19:45 Adam Wow. Three days. And then you just be off for two or three weeks?

1:19:49 Drew Crack binges are absolutely characteristic. It starts out usually with somebody. You end up by yourself alone, curtains drawn, you in your pipe, looking outside, and convinced that outside and actually-

1:20:02 Caller Yeah, the helicopters are coming.

1:20:04 Drew Exactly. And who are the people out there? I'm sorry? Who would you typically see last time?

1:20:10 Caller No, nothing.

1:20:11 Drew You wouldn't actually see them?

1:20:12 Caller You lock the doors and you close the curtains.

1:20:14 Drew Who are you concerned might be out there?

1:20:17 Caller Mostly neighbors. It's usually-

1:20:20 Adam True. Have you ever made a goddamn point on this show?

1:20:23 Guest No, I want to hear. Why?

1:20:24 Adam Hold on a second. Drew, in your life, forget this show. Have you ever-

1:20:28 Drew I make them all the time in real life.

1:20:29 Guest Hey, who's been on The View twice?

1:20:30 Adam I've never heard of them.

1:20:31 Drew Five times.

1:20:32 Guest Five times. Who's a series regular on The View?

1:20:35 Guest That's right.

1:20:35 Guest What is it? Who are they looking for?

1:20:37 Drew Usually uniformed officers.

1:20:39 Guest Really?

1:20:40 Drew He said exactly.

1:20:40 Adam I wish I had a nickel for every time Drew had to go back and explain the answer that he was sure he was going to get from the guest or the caller that he didn't get and then went back and explained how 99% of the time this is the answer, although it's never the answer they provide.

1:20:54 Drew The only time-

1:20:54 Adam And I always try to stop him at night getting-

1:20:56 Drew Shut up for a second.

1:20:57 Guest You guys are such a married couple.

1:20:59 Adam Yeah, really. If he would just stop talking, everything would be fine.

1:21:02 Caller Yeah, you guys need to consummate that, though.

1:21:06 Adam We did that at the Denver Airport during a layover in, I think it was 94, 95. I love Drew. There you go.

1:21:14 Drew Larry, when people do a lot of speed, the paranoia is slower to come on and more elaborate and stay fixed. That's when people are always focused on their family, their friends, and their neighbors.

1:21:26 Adam Well, listen, if he can stop, great.

1:21:28 Drew Yeah, I wonder if he's really a cocaine addict. This is my question. Or if this is just a-

1:21:33 Adam Well, apparently not. Reyna? You're 19?

1:21:38 Caller Yes, I am.

1:21:38 Adam What's up?

1:21:40 Caller I've known this guy for over a year, and we've been dating for about a month now, and I haven't had sex with him yet, but I let him finger-bang me.

1:21:51 Guest Very nice. Clearly in college with the word bang attached.

1:21:55 Adam You order the surf and turf, and this guy be a little, you got to pay the fiddler, right?

1:22:01 Caller So, once I know the song.

1:22:05 Adam Wow. You guys ever go on a date, and the girl orders the surf and turf is on the first date, and you're just going, 48, 94, my Christ almighty. I better get some finger-banging in for this next one.

1:22:16 Guest I haven't heard that one in a long time. Oh yeah.

1:22:18 Guest You haven't thought that word in a long time.

1:22:22 Adam No, it's really-

1:22:24 Guest It's wonderful. It's very descriptive.

1:22:25 Drew It's a word that leaves you after about age 12.

1:22:28 Guest It's wonderfully descriptive.

1:22:30 Drew Reyna, what's the question?

1:22:31 Caller Okay.

1:22:32 Caller Do you orgasm from finger-banging?

1:22:36 Caller I noticed blood on his hand and I was discharging afterwards and it kind of itched inside and I don't know what I should do. Should I tell him to stop or should I not do it anymore? What can I do? I don't know.

1:22:54 Guest His blood or your blood?

1:22:56 Caller Mine.

1:22:57 Guest Was he doing it for a very extended period of time?

1:23:01 Caller I guess you could say so.

1:23:02 Guest Like how long?

1:23:05 Caller About an hour.

1:23:06 Guest Oh, yeah. That's an extended period of time to be finger-banged.

1:23:12 Drew The idea is something that you-

1:23:15 Adam If you accumulated the amount of time my hand has been in a vagina, it would add up to an hour over the 36 years I've been on the planet.

1:23:22 Drew The idea is something you would try and if it's uncomfortable to you, you stop and if you're itching and what not, it's possible it's just a yeast infection, so you might try some over-the-counter yeast.

1:23:31 Guest Don't you think it's irritation? I mean, an hour, that's-

1:23:35 Drew Ridiculous.

1:23:35 Guest Who does that?

1:23:36 Drew That's ridiculous.

1:23:36 Adam I mean, no offense. My hand logs vagina time like a pilot logs time in a cockpit. It's how they do it, 40,000 hours of- Oh, God. I do that.

1:23:47 Guest You must be one hell of a date.

1:23:49 Adam Minute and a half here, 30 seconds there, 15 seconds. Sometimes it was like just a second and a half.

1:23:54 Guest What about yourself? Are you more generous, I hope?

1:23:56 Adam Oh, yes.

1:23:57 Caller Oh, good. Oh, good.

1:23:57 Drew Oh, my God.

1:23:59 Adam I got that a long time ago.

1:24:01 Guest That's an hour at least.

1:24:02 Adam Oh, no. I have it so refined now that I just-

1:24:07 Guest Adam's the next question. My hands are bleeding.

1:24:09 Guest My hands are-

1:24:10 Adam No, I got that down.

1:24:11 Drew No, the real problem is when he had a cast on his hand. Then it was a major problem.

1:24:15 Adam I had a cast on my hand except for-

1:24:16 Guest And bruises down below.

1:24:17 Drew Except the thumb was free.

1:24:18 Adam Well, as I've told, and people think I'm kidding about this, but you full fist guys, these guys, this technique. I don't know if you make that fist like you're shaking dice kind of thing. Is that just sort of the universal sign for Jack Offer? Do guys actually do it that way?

1:24:38 Guest No.

1:24:39 Adam You know what I mean? Josh, you're-

1:24:40 Guest I think it's just a universal sign.

1:24:41 Guest Sometimes it's a full fist. Sometimes it's a gentle thing.

1:24:46 Adam Yeah, right.

1:24:46 Guest Circumference of love, if you will.

1:24:48 Adam The okay sign. Circumference of love. You're okay. The penis is okay. The hamper's been in better shape, but the penis is okay. So yeah, you get the full fist going once in a while.

1:24:59 Guest It's a variation. It's all good.

1:25:01 Adam To me, I'm like Raleigh Fingers on the mound.

1:25:05 Guest Screwballer.

1:25:06 Adam I don't grab the ball and stuff it in the palm of my hand. I do a little lick, a little moist. I go to the bill of cap once in a while. A little sandpaper on there. And I just use the important fingers. But here's the point I'm making. Most guys at some point in their teenage years or early 20s, whether it be on one of these scooters we were talking about earlier or snowboarding or skateboarding or rollerblading or whatever, it's gonna break a wrist and have a wrist cast on at some point. I would say 40 or to half of American males between the ages of 13 and 25 have had a cast on their hand at some point. And that cast may stay on for two or three months. And if your full fist technique is the one you employ on your penis, you're gonna be a world of hurt.

1:25:55 Guest It's the mother of all animals.

1:25:57 Guest Well, wouldn't you adapt like most animals?

1:25:59 Adam I would. I would grow a tail. I told Drew that I'd masturbate with it. If both hands were in a cast longer than six months, I would grow a tail. And at least I know my son would have a tail. I'm not so sure if I would grow a tail. I'm not sure if that's possible. Drew, your doctor, I don't know if I could adapt that quickly. I would grow a tail and begin masturbating with a tail. Or I would do a thing where I take my knee out of socket and use my foot.

1:26:22 Guest Oh my gosh.

1:26:23 Adam Eventually. I would work it out. That's all I'd say.

1:26:25 Caller I'm so scared.

1:26:26 Guest Yoga classes and freeing your feet.

1:26:28 Drew And you've got this hone. You're down about, what, a two minute drill?

1:26:32 Adam Stroke and a half. I go down and I don't make it all the way up before something comes out. It goes down, halfway up. Put it this way. When the hand comes up, it just keeps going for the sock or whatever's around.

1:26:47 Guest It's just going right over your head.

1:26:50 Adam It goes right up into the fist and then the victory lap.

1:26:52 Drew And you're what, two, three times a day still?

1:26:55 Adam Three or four times.

1:26:56 Guest For real?

1:26:57 Guest For real?

1:26:59 Adam Well.

1:26:59 Guest Are you kidding right now? Because I'm believing you. So you got me.

1:27:02 Adam And I know. I know. You're slowly falling in love with me before you heard about this.

1:27:06 Guest Right. Oh my God. I've always wanted a guy who can get up.

1:27:11 Adam Eight minutes. Stroke and a half. I'm down. I'm back on a one a day regiment. Oh.

1:27:16 Drew You sick?

1:27:17 Adam Well, I've been getting up very early and working on the house all day and I'm coming home tired.

1:27:22 Drew The house is really, it's sort of.

1:27:23 Adam It's my form of masturbation now.

1:27:26 Drew The VCR is okay.

1:27:28 Adam VCR is fine.

1:27:28 Drew The bunker.

1:27:30 Adam The porn bunker is fine. Everything's fine.

1:27:32 Guest You got plans for the rest of it?

1:27:35 Adam What's that?

1:27:35 Caller Nothing.

1:27:37 Adam I'm good. I'm good. I'm once a day. I'm all right with that. I've scaled it back.

1:27:42 Drew I've known you for a long time. That's wow.

1:27:45 Adam I'm taking a little sabbatical.

1:27:45 Drew It's a personal best.

1:27:47 Adam That's all.

1:27:47 Drew Personal was it best or least? Personal least.

1:27:51 Adam Thank you.

1:27:51 Drew Yeah.

1:27:52 Adam All right. Are we done with my penis? I don't know.

1:27:54 Guest We could go back to it. We could go back.

1:27:55 Adam All right. Not that much to get back to. But if we want to revisit it later on, that'd be fine.

1:28:00 Guest You shouldn't admit that.

1:28:01 Adam Oh, no. I'm fine. Listen, Drew's seen my penis. It is, in his words, pristine.

1:28:05 Guest In the Denver airport.

1:28:06 Drew I know. I know. I actually had to examine it.

1:28:09 Guest Okay.

1:28:09 Drew How do you describe this?

1:28:10 Guest It's okay. You're a doctor.

1:28:12 Drew I had to actually examine it. And it was pristine.

1:28:15 Guest Pristine.

1:28:15 Drew In fact, it was a stunt penis. It wasn't his.

1:28:17 Guest Really?

1:28:18 Drew No way it was his.

1:28:19 Adam Yeah. Very low mileage. I keep it in a velvet Crown Royal sack.

1:28:24 Guest Like a hand model, but better.

1:28:25 Adam In the night stand.

1:28:26 Drew Who's your penis?

1:28:28 Adam It's in your ass. Drew bet me $100 that I had warts on my penis.

1:28:35 Guest Really?

1:28:36 Adam Yeah. And I'm so confident in the cleanliness of my penis.

1:28:41 Guest Would you please refer to it as a pristine penis from now on?

1:28:44 Adam The pristine penis that I told Drew that I would do this on the air, that he could come.

1:28:50 Drew Really?

1:28:50 Adam This acetic acid on my penis and shine a black light on it and find a wart. If he could, I challenged him to find a wart on my penis.

1:28:58 Drew A plastic surgeon friend of mine came here, took pictures and they're on my computer now.

1:29:01 Adam Oh, are they?

1:29:02 Drew He emailed them over to me.

1:29:03 Guest And weird that that's your screen saver.

1:29:07 Adam He dumped it on there. He shined the black light. What they do is they dump essentially white vinegar on the shlong and then they put a black light on it and see if anything winks at them.

1:29:17 Guest Much like forensic science.

1:29:19 Adam Just didn't find anything but a little lint, right, Drew?

1:29:23 Caller Suspicious.

1:29:24 Adam Oh, please. He was trying to get his $100 when he made that comment. I took the $100 from him and I bought hard candy and what else was I going to buy? Crack cocaine. That's right. Laura?

1:29:37 Caller Hello?

1:29:38 Adam You're 18?

1:29:39 Caller Yeah.

1:29:39 Adam You feel dirty since becoming an intimate with your high school teacher?

1:29:44 Caller Yeah. I just feel really dirty.

1:29:49 Adam Are you still in high school?

1:29:50 Caller Yeah. I see him now on a regular basis, sort of.

1:29:55 Guest Well, your teacher is a dirty one, pal.

1:29:57 Adam You're 18?

1:29:58 Caller Yeah.

1:29:59 Adam You just started your senior year?

1:30:00 Caller Yeah. It's my last year.

1:30:03 Adam Right. Senior year?

1:30:04 Caller Yeah.

1:30:05 Adam And your last year?

1:30:07 Caller Yeah.

1:30:08 Adam There's no super senior year in your high school?

1:30:11 Guest Are you red-shirting to go out with 14?

1:30:13 Adam We had what we called an elder senior year. Yeah. You're 18. Shouldn't you have graduated?

1:30:20 Caller No. Actually, I was held back in grade school.

1:30:24 Adam I see.

1:30:25 Drew See you, Adam.

1:30:25 Adam All right.

1:30:26 Drew Relax.

1:30:26 Adam Very good. Well, listen, I've said this many times there. Laura, here's the story. You went to Europe for a year when you were six. Okay. Much more glamorous than being there. Right.

1:30:39 Guest Right.

1:30:40 Adam You see what I'm saying? Then not being able to complete a Sullivan book when you were in the first grade. All right, Laura? You spent a year in France, right?

1:30:53 Drew Is your teacher still your teacher?

1:30:56 Caller No. He's like a counselor, sort of.

1:30:59 Guest How old is the counselor?

1:31:01 Caller He's like 50.

1:31:02 Guest 50? Oh.

1:31:03 Caller He's 49.

1:31:04 Drew Is he at your current high school?

1:31:08 Caller Yeah.

1:31:08 Adam All right. Hold on, Laura. We got to take a break.

1:31:10 Caller Okay.

1:31:10 Adam This is good though. I mean, it's good radio. It's not good for you, right?

1:31:14 Caller Okay. All right.

1:31:15 Adam How long has this been going on?

1:31:17 Caller It happened over the summer.

1:31:19 Adam Okay. Hold on a second, all right? I'll get back and tell you what to do after this.

1:31:25 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:32:03 Adam Rosa Blasi and Josh Coxx are both here from Strong Medicine. The new Whoopi Goldberg production, which he's in periodically and is on Sunday nights, nine o'clock on The Fabulous Lifetime, the number two cable network. And I don't know what number one is. Maybe it's CNN.

1:32:21 Caller I don't think it is.

1:32:22 Guest Really?

1:32:24 Adam Wait, one would hope. Whatever it is, it's-

1:32:26 Guest I don't know. Every hotel I've ever been is, there's always CNN, if not any other channel.

1:32:30 Adam It's a good point, and I don't know if they do it by homes or revenue or how they judge what is the number one station. You know what I mean? There may be some that are in more places but have less viewers or make less money. I don't know how it works. I'd love to get that break down, although I'm not going to do anything to get it. Laura?

1:32:48 Caller Yeah.

1:32:49 Adam You're 18? That's right. So you're having sex with your 50-year-old?

1:32:54 Caller No, we didn't have sex.

1:32:56 Adam Oh, you didn't?

1:32:57 Caller No, I gave him a hand job.

1:33:00 Drew Oh, boy.

1:33:02 Adam So you're just getting a B?

1:33:03 Drew So this guy may...

1:33:07 Adam Well, it's just a hand job. I mean, you know, you don't throw A's out.

1:33:10 Guest That's an H, Adam. That's an H.

1:33:12 Guest That's a B for manual release.

1:33:14 Adam It sends a very dangerous message to the rest of the ladies at the school if you start handing out A's for a hand job.

1:33:18 Drew This guy may be doing this to other people at your school, too.

1:33:22 Guest Did he force himself on you?

1:33:23 Caller No. Actually, we were out for coffee.

1:33:27 Drew Why?

1:33:28 Caller Just because we were talking about school stuff and we went out for coffee and-

1:33:36 Adam I see. Hold on a second. Hold on. Anyone ever talk to any of their teachers about school stuff over a cup of coffee? Never. Never once.

1:33:42 Guest Never once outside of class.

1:33:43 Drew By the way, how does one thing lead to another? I'm sure that's what's coming next.

1:33:47 Adam Over a cup of coffee. Once in my entire school career, I was walking down an aisle in a supermarket.

1:33:54 Guest You freak out when you see him there.

1:33:56 Adam Holy Christ, it's Mr. Branson. It's just like diving in a frozen food section, covered myself with pee. Are you kidding me? Hey, Mr. Branson, you want to go out and get a cup of Joe and talk about my grades? Fantastic. Are you kidding me? It makes me sick. Isn't there some sort of Geneva Convention where you've broken some rule? So I'm trying to figure out what this guy's job is exactly.

1:34:20 Drew What kind of teacher?

1:34:21 Guest He's a counselor, some camp counselor?

1:34:23 Caller Yeah, something like that. He teaches lit.

1:34:27 Adam He teaches English literature?

1:34:28 Guest So he's like an English teacher?

1:34:29 Caller Yeah.

1:34:30 Adam Well, is he your English lit teacher?

1:34:32 Caller No.

1:34:33 Adam Have you ever had him before?

1:34:34 Caller No.

1:34:35 Adam And he's a counselor and teacher at the school.

1:34:39 Caller Yeah.

1:34:39 Guest So how does it begin if you're not seeing him every day in class? I don't know what you'd be talking to him about school in a coffee shop. How does that begin, the flirtationer?

1:34:48 Caller He's like always around, you know? And I've just been having like suicidal thoughts because I feel really dirty.

1:34:55 Adam Well, wait a minute. We'll get back to that for a second. But I'm still with Rosa. You don't have the guy. He's not your counselor, right?

1:35:04 Caller No.

1:35:04 Adam He's not your teacher, right?

1:35:09 Caller He was kind of helping me with like school stuff.

1:35:13 Drew Laura, this wasn't your fault. This guy is a problem, okay? This guy took advantage of his position, and it's not something you should feel responsible for.

1:35:21 Adam She paints such a vivid picture, doesn't she?

1:35:22 Drew I know. But look.

1:35:23 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:35:24 Drew Laura, you need to put the phone down and talk to somebody immediately. Can I give you a phone number?

1:35:30 Caller Yeah.

1:35:30 Drew Okay.

1:35:31 Adam It's the number of a Dresdl counselor at his high school.

1:35:35 Drew It's 8777CRISIS.

1:35:41 Caller Okay.

1:35:41 Drew Okay.

1:35:43 Adam Is this still going on, did you say?

1:35:45 Drew No.

1:35:46 Guest Did it just happen once?

1:35:47 Caller Over the summer.

1:35:49 Adam It happened a few times?

1:35:51 Caller Yeah, like twice. Twice.

1:35:53 Drew You got to tell someone about this in adults. Yeah.

1:35:57 Adam Well, wait a minute. Hold on one second there. I mean, this is not a good situation. But you're 18 and this only happened twice. You didn't perform oral sex on him or have intercourse with him. No. You gave him a hand. I essentially got one from Drew here in the studio under the woods line. Yeah. And he gave me 100 bucks. Drew, when's the last time you paid someone again? Yeah. You know what I mean?

1:36:21 Guest It's called Robin Tug.

1:36:22 Adam Here's my point. Do you have to be this traumatized?

1:36:27 Caller Like, I don't know.

1:36:28 Drew Did an older man ever do anything to you when you were a little kid?

1:36:31 Caller No.

1:36:32 Adam Does this remind you of something? Are there other things that are going wrong in your life?

1:36:37 Caller No, not really. I was trying to rationalize it. Like, I don't have a really good relationship with my dad.

1:36:44 Drew Well, you're certainly getting depressed, and that's what needs to be attended to. Right.

1:36:48 Guest But not from this counselor.

1:36:49 Drew Well, this is not helping.

1:36:51 Adam Here's my point, Laura. This thing has opened up something in you, and now all the depression is flowing through. This isn't helping. This isn't healthy. This isn't a good thing to do. But do not put all of your eggs into this guy's basket. Pardon the pun.

1:37:07 Drew But tell an adult, talk about your depression, and talk about what this guy's done. OK?

1:37:11 Adam All right. Oh, boy.

1:37:13 Drew Let me quickly answer that one in six.

1:37:14 Adam Well, I know this is not popular advice, but everyone doesn't have to be a victim, and everyone doesn't have to feel ashamed, and everyone doesn't have to feel like they're raped.

1:37:25 Drew No, that's reasonable advice to help people choose to not be a victim or to stay stuck in that quagmire. However, there's feelings that you can't control.

1:37:33 Adam No, I understand that, but a hand job and twice, eh, eh, you know what I mean?

1:37:39 Guest Just the whole thing, though, the guy just hanging around and not being a teacher, it just sounds like you said, Dr. Drew, like it's not the first time.

1:37:47 Adam Yeah, no.

1:37:48 Guest And I'm curious if it happened when she was 17.

1:37:51 Guest Exactly.

1:37:52 Adam Darian?

1:37:53 Drew Yeah?

1:37:53 Adam You're 22? What's up?

1:37:56 Caller Well, I just found out that I had an STD by the name of HPV.

1:38:02 Drew We were talking about it during the commercial break, which about half the people in the country have.

1:38:06 Adam Human papilloma virus. Which always makes me think you have it, by the way, Drew, when you start lobbying for... It'll be up to 85% in another month.

1:38:15 Guest I don't know if you believe me.

1:38:17 Adam Circumcision, warts. HPV. I know it all, but... Yeah.

1:38:21 Caller Suspicious.

1:38:22 Caller Well, I was just wondering if, like... Because I have to have surgery in two weeks.

1:38:27 Drew Yeah.

1:38:27 Caller And I was just wondering, because me and my boyfriend have, like, a serious relationship going. We have a child together. And I was just wondering if I should, like, not sleep with him after I get it done.

1:38:37 Drew Why?

1:38:38 Caller Well, because I got it from him, and because a while back he had genital warts.

1:38:43 Drew But you both have it, so there you go.

1:38:45 Caller Is that what it's from?

1:38:46 Guest Yes.

1:38:46 Guest You're giving it back and forth to each other.

1:38:48 Drew Well, no, but you both have it now, and that's that.

1:38:51 Caller So it's always going to be there?

1:38:52 Drew Yes.

1:38:53 Adam It may go away, but...

1:38:54 Drew It may go away, but it'll take several years for it to do so. You both have it, and that's the way it goes.

1:39:01 Caller And so what are my chances of getting cancer from that?

1:39:04 Drew Higher than if you didn't have it.

1:39:05 Adam But you're looking after it.

1:39:06 Drew You're taking care of it. You take care of it, it's very easy to prevent from progressing to cancer.

1:39:11 Adam All right, Darian? Okay. Hey, listen, while you're getting the surgery, while you're under him, pop in a little norplant. All right?

1:39:18 Caller Very good. I'm on the pill.

1:39:20 Adam Okay, good. No more kitties with the boyfriend, all right? Thank you. All right?

1:39:25 Caller All right.

1:39:25 Adam All right. We'll take a little break.

1:39:27 Guest There's a good girl.

1:39:28 Adam We'll be back after this. Who knows? It's Loveline. That's it. Randy the Macho Man Savage in here tomorrow night to kick Drew's ass when I tell him that's Adam. Strong Medicine is the name of the show. I want to thank Rose and Josh for coming in here and being delightful, by the way. I had a good time with both of them.

1:40:32 Guest As did we.

1:40:33 Adam Thanks. Thanks for coming in and come in anytime you like.

1:40:36 Guest All right, we'll be back tomorrow. Is that cool?

1:40:38 Adam Fantastic. Do the second hour with Randy.

1:40:41 Guest Maybe we can pry Randy off your back.

1:40:43 Adam Lifetime, everybody. Sunday nights at 9 o'clock and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:40:49 Drew Can we get high?

1:40:52 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2000