Episode 1000754887018

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, and tonight, we're honored to have the great Jimmy Kimmel in studio. And may I say this, that is it Thursday night? Yes, the show will run a day later on the East Coast. And that means for many of you in many parts of the country, the Man Show is on tonight.

1:42 Jimmy Kimmel On Fridays? Oh, it'll be Sunday.

1:46 Adam Because they'll repeat the Thursday show on Sunday, won't they?

1:50 Jimmy Kimmel Yes, you're right.

1:50 Adam All right. Sunday night, 10 o'clock, Comedy Central. I've got to do it, Drew.

1:56 Jimmy Kimmel I'm going to be in chat.

1:57 Adam I can't finish my goddamn plug. You have to start talking in the middle.

2:00 Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy, help me.

2:01 Adam No, but he starts.

2:02 Jimmy Kimmel I'd like to say something too. No, no, no.

2:04 God forbid I say anything.

2:06 Adam Just hold on a second.

2:07 Drew You don't have to show off in front of me.

2:09 Adam Jimmy knows radio, but I'm still saying Sunday nights on Comedy Central as you chime in with your plug.

2:18 Jimmy Kimmel Go ahead.

2:19 Adam No, now I'm done.

2:20 I'm done.

2:21 Drew Now you got it. So what do you have going on, Drew?

2:24 Jimmy Kimmel Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you for asking. I appreciate that. I've got a chat at drdrew.com.

2:28 Drew Sex chat?

2:29 Jimmy Kimmel Sex chat room, 5 o'clock Pacific time tomorrow. All right. It's on Friday, Pacific time, 5 o'clock.

2:34 Drew What does that mean?

2:35 Jimmy Kimmel People go on the computer and they...

2:36 Drew Are you naked on this thing now?

2:38 Jimmy Kimmel No, but if you'd like to join me naked...

2:39 Drew If you were naked on this thing, I think a lot more people will look at it.

2:41 Adam You'd get some hits.

2:42 Jimmy Kimmel Really? Naked and have been posed out or something?

2:44 Drew Tell people you're naked.

2:45 Jimmy Kimmel I'm naked at 5 p.m. tomorrow, live.

2:47 Perfect.

2:49 Drew What's up with the guy selling knives and all?

2:52 Adam That's Pan Pan.

2:54 Drew His name is what?

2:55 Jimmy Kimmel He called a couple of times ago. He actually got through on the show. Tell him the story.

3:00 Adam Okay, here's what happened. I didn't tell you this, Jimmy. Jimmy and I have had a very busy last couple of weeks because we've been ramping up the Man Show. And on Saturday, last Saturday, I was driving my car. It was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and the cell phone rang and it was a gentleman by the name of Pan Pan, which doesn't translate over the cell phone, by the way.

3:24 Jimmy Kimmel You thought it was Kirby or something?

3:25 Adam I thought his name was like, he had Doug. But anyway, Pan Pan, he explains that he got my cell phone, cell phone number from Drew's wife and that he'd like to sell This is diabolical, isn't it? And that he'd like to sell me some knives. And he wanted to know what I was doing this weekend. And it was, it was three or four o'clock on Saturday. Wanted to know what I was doing this weekend. And I said, well, you know, actually, and it was the only time I've ever been glad to work on Sunday, I said, you know, we have to shoot something on Sunday, which we did. So today's shot, and I got to shoot something on Sunday. He said, what time? I said, pretty much all day. I can meet you early, say, about 730 Sunday morning.

4:11 Drew Oh, no, to sell you those wonderful knives.

4:19 Adam You thought we're going to get together Sunday morning at 730. So my reply to that was, are you high? And he said, no, I think he took me seriously. But they went on to explain that he was a coach for your daughter in volleyball. Is he really?

4:36 Jimmy Kimmel Yes, he is. He went to my high school.

4:38 Drew Really?

4:38 And he goes to Georgetown.

4:39 Jimmy Kimmel This is his summer job.

4:40 Drew Really? This is the dumbest Asian person I've ever met.

4:43 This guy goes to Georgetown.

4:44 Drew What? I don't care where he goes. He's not that smart.

4:47 Selling knives.

4:47 Drew He's selling crappy knives. He's trying to convince you.

4:49 Jimmy Kimmel You're buying them, Abel.

4:50 Drew When I used to sell, I'm not buying anything from this guy.

4:53 Jimmy Kimmel He is.

4:53 Drew Oh, he's finding out his guilt. When I used to sell candy bars for little league and that kind of thing, if people like, I'd leave instantly if people didn't seem interested. Like, you want to buy some chocolate bars? Well, no, that's okay. You don't have to buy, you know.

5:09 Jimmy Kimmel You're an appropriate.

5:09 Drew But I've told him to kill himself with the knives. I mean, I've gone through a number of things that he should do.

5:14 Jimmy Kimmel Well, wait, people don't understand. He's here tonight.

5:16 Drew He's here tonight with the knives. So we probably shouldn't be making fun of him. But yet still, he keeps selling me on how much better they are than my very expensive knives that I have at home. They're only in the last three to five years.

5:28 Jimmy Kimmel Certificate of Training?

5:29 Drew Yeah, he's a good salesman, I guess.

5:32 Adam You know the salesman angle I like, and this is not only knives, this is cars, this is everything, where they ask you the question that they know the answer to. So you got the expensive German knives. Do you sharpen them every day?

5:45 Yeah, he didn't ask me that. Yeah. Of course, I sharpen them every day.

5:49 Adam Well, I don't oil and sharpen them every day, but I do run them through the sharpener, just a sharpening stone. Sometimes I use the cutting oil. Yeah.

5:58 Drew The hard sell, though, doesn't work so good when you're an Asian guy. If this is a black guy, I'd have a whole trunk full of knives right now. I had these black guys come to my house and sell in magazines, three of them. I said, give me everything you got. I'll take it. I'll take it.

6:11 Adam I do that, too, because I feel bad for what we did. They got Pearl Harbor. What do we feel bad about?

6:16 Drew Then this guy comes in, these guys ask me if I have any beer.

6:19 Adam I know they're involved somehow.

6:22 Drew They asked me, these guys that sold me the magazine, if I had any beer, and it wound up, they came into my house and we started having beers in my house, me and three young black guys.

6:31 My wife comes home, she's like, what is going on in here?

6:36 Drew She asks, that's what this guy needs.

6:39 Adam I know, I bought three magazine subscriptions from this black woman who came to my door. I've not seen one of them. That was about five years ago, and I bought like four years worth on all three of them.

6:50 Drew I did the same thing. I got one of the seven magazines that I ordered, and it comes about three weeks after it hits the newsstands.

6:56 Jimmy Kimmel What is it with the two of you that we've been on the air for four and a half minutes and you've insulted every major ethnic group?

7:03 Adam Well, we're not insulting to the blacks. We're saying we feel bad, so we'll buy anything from them.

7:09 Drew Yes, I will give a little extra consideration.

7:11 Adam Right. The Asians, however, the Chinese guy is bound for Georgetown. I don't feel bad for him, but I'll buy a knife off him because he came out here. And he makes a good sell.

7:23 I can't buy a knife to kill your wife for giving the cell phone number out.

7:26 Adam Can you believe she gave my cell phone number out?

7:31 Drew That's excellent.

7:33 Adam But she was just trying to get rid of it, right? I mean, that's a desperate move.

7:36 Drew You know who needs knives? Adam. He's got two homes.

7:38 Adam Yeah.

7:39 Drew He needs two sets.

7:40 Adam He needs a set for the car.

7:41 Jimmy Kimmel Well, when this all came up, he went on a 15 minute diet drive about the knives he gets at restaurants.

7:46 Drew Yeah. Well, Adam does a lot of cooking.

7:48 I was too.

7:50 Adam I don't like it when you go to a steak place and they give you a butter knife that's serrated on one side to cut the steak. I don't like that.

7:57 Jimmy Kimmel He wants that in his car as luggage and his knives. Yeah.

8:00 Adam Right. I like to travel with knives.

8:02 Jimmy Kimmel I can see it at the airport now.

8:02 Adam It's great.

8:03 Drew Why don't you travel with Pan Pan? He'll have whatever kind of knife you need.

8:06 Adam I would like to talk to Pan Pan about dropping this knife selling business for the summer and just being my personal valet. I would love, because the guy's name is Pan Pan, I'd love to say, I'll get Pan Pan right on it. You'll have to speak to Pan Pan. He's honest as a day. He gets up early. He gets up early. He's bold as hell. He's not scared to call a B slash C celebrity on a cell phone cold. All right. So, and Jimmy did take some interest in the cleaver that Pan Pan was showing over there.

8:40 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, no kidding.

8:40 Drew Yeah, but it weighs like nine pounds or something.

8:43 Jimmy Kimmel Well, that's, you know, you don't just drop it on whatever you're cleaving.

8:46 Yeah. All right.

8:47 Adam So Pan Pan may make a sale yet. Jimmy was cutting some rope in there.

8:52 Drew We'll see. We'll negotiate with Pan Pan.

8:54 Adam Why is it when they demonstrate knives, they cut anything but food? They got an engine block. They got an aluminum can. They got rope. Anything but a food product.

9:02 Chopped into rope.

9:03 Drew Yeah. I like if he made me something to eat, I might have bought something. He's like, and look at this. You could use a sandwich.

9:08 Watch.

9:08 Drew Let me cut through this beer can. Yeah, make me a sandwich. Maybe I'll buy the thing.

9:12 Jimmy Kimmel Give it some ideas.

9:13 Adam All right. Pan pan. Go out and get some luncheon meats. You might have a sale. All right.

9:19 Drew We'll let go.

9:19 Adam All right. So Jimmy, what do you hear plugging? What are you talking about?

9:23 Drew I don't know if you've seen a program called Drew, have you seen this? I know you're on the internet chatting a lot, but it's called The Man Show. It's on television. The Man Show.

9:31 Adam Best show. Yeah, it says Governor Jesse Ventura.

9:34 Drew It's just a governor saying that.

9:35 Jimmy Kimmel Well, if it weren't for him, that drop, I never would have heard it mentioned.

9:40 Adam Yeah.

9:41 Jimmy Kimmel Except every five minutes.

9:43 Adam It is hysterical.

9:44 Jimmy Kimmel To the point that the-

9:44 Drew Dr. Drew has made some very comical appearance on the show this season.

9:48 Jimmy Kimmel Oh yeah, thank you for that.

9:48 Drew They have not been aired yet, but they're very good. You did very good work.

9:51 Jimmy Kimmel Well, thank you.

9:52 Drew Yeah, you could dump this whole thing. You and Pan Pan hit the road. Song and dance team.

9:57 Adam Throw knives at you. You could throw scalpels at him.

9:59 Jimmy Kimmel I'm thinking about a new 12 step organization. Adam's gonna be my, sort of be fashioned after him.

10:05 Adam Thank you. Thank you. So again, you're talking about what show, Jimmy?

10:09 Drew The Man Show.

10:09 Adam The Man Show.

10:10 Drew Which is, it's a program for men, hence the title The Man Show. And the host of the show, I'm one of the hosts of the show, and then Adam Corolla, a very funny gentleman. I don't know if you're familiar with him.

10:20 Adam Super talented.

10:21 Drew He's also on the show.

10:22 Jimmy Kimmel Did you guys see, by the way, I'm gonna take you off topic here. Talking about you guys and your improbabilities, my favorite part of the show is where you guys answer questions from the audience and stuff. Did you see You Don't Know Jack?

10:34 Adam Haven't seen it yet.

10:35 Drew They asked me to host that show, actually.

10:36 Jimmy Kimmel Both of you.

10:37 Drew I wisely said no.

10:38 Jimmy Kimmel No, I think both of you were doing great on that.

10:41 Drew Yeah. That's why I said, I wisely said no. I think it's doing really well. For now, who's gonna watch that? Yeah, I guess.

10:47 Jimmy Kimmel No, I saw it. It was great. I thought it was great. Oh, no, no, no. It's courageous.

10:52 Drew I haven't seen it, but I'm gonna go with It Sucks, too, because I don't want to feel like I made a mistake.

10:57 Adam Pan Pan gave it one cleaver down. I love that Pan Pan. I question him on that. Why can't they just call you Pan? Are there other guys in your family named Pan? Is there a Pan Senior, Pan Junior? Be like Pan Pan the Third?

11:12 Drew It seems like maybe he should sell pans.

11:15 Jimmy Kimmel No, and he said it's a term of endearment. It's like Ling Ling. The real name is Ling.

11:20 Adam Right.

11:20 Jimmy Kimmel You say it twice.

11:22 Adam I really do think this. I'd like someone to get on the Internet and figure this out. I swear to Christ, Pan Pan was the name of the panda bear that was on the Brady Bunch cartoon series. Remember, they had those crazy panda bears?

11:35 Drew No, I don't even remember the cartoon series.

11:36 Adam Brady Bunch had a cartoon series, and there was like a couple of panda bears and a magpie that could fly around using like a sorcerer magpie. Was everyone high back then?

11:48 Drew Did your wife buy knives from him?

11:50 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, yeah.

11:50 Drew She did. How many?

11:51 Jimmy Kimmel I asked him.

11:53 Drew Pan Pan, how many? Hold up whatever fingers you have left.

11:58 Jimmy Kimmel What should I, two knives? Three knives? Oh, oh my god.

12:01 Adam Ten knives. Ten knives.

12:02 Oh my god.

12:04 Drew You better get another show, Drew.

12:06 Adam All right. Anyway, ten o'clock Comedy Central Sunday nights. And I'll tell you, I was watching the Emmy nominations today. And if there was a category for comedy, the man show would be in it. That's what I said to myself.

12:23 Jimmy Kimmel No Emmy nominations?

12:24 Adam If there was one for comedy, it would be in it.

12:27 Drew Comedy slash variety.

12:30 Adam It would be in it. Yeah. Rachel?

12:34 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

12:34 Adam You're 22?

12:35 Jimmy Kimmel Yes.

12:36 Adam What's up?

12:37 Jimmy Kimmel My situation is I was having intercourse with my boyfriend, doggie style, and he stick his finger up my bottom. And ever, well, it's just been making me feel kind of weird.

12:52 Jimmy Kimmel What do you mean by that?

12:55 Drew Is it still in there?

12:57 Jimmy Kimmel You mean you have a persistent, weird physical feeling or a weird emotional feeling?

13:01 Jimmy Kimmel Emotional.

13:02 Jimmy Kimmel You didn't like that he did that?

13:04 Jimmy Kimmel I didn't know. I think I just didn't know how to feel. So it kind of worried me and I just needed to know like...

13:13 Drew You liked it but you don't think you should like it?

13:17 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I think it made me feel awkward more than the fact that whether I liked it or not.

13:24 Jimmy Kimmel How long has this guy been your boyfriend?

13:26 Jimmy Kimmel Um, about, almost about a year.

13:29 Jimmy Kimmel Have you had other sexual partners?

13:31 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

13:31 Jimmy Kimmel And anything, any problem with any of those?

13:35 Jimmy Kimmel No.

13:35 Jimmy Kimmel And this relationship has been going real well?

13:37 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

13:38 Jimmy Kimmel Has he asked you to do anything else that you haven't liked?

13:41 Adam He didn't ask.

13:42 Jimmy Kimmel I understand, but what does any sort of pro, you know, other circle.

13:45 Adam You don't ask, by the way.

13:46 Jimmy Kimmel For that one.

13:47 Adam No.

13:47 Drew That's not such a big deal, is it?

13:49 Adam No.

13:49 Jimmy Kimmel No, but I'm trying to figure out what's bothering her so much. She feels violated. She feels like, oh my God.

13:54 Drew Do you feel violated? Or does it leave you wanting more?

13:59 Jimmy Kimmel No, I guess I, I guess.

14:00 Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy, you've been on that man show set way too long.

14:02 Drew Well, maybe she's worried he's going to take the next step. And I was like, oh, that's how guys are. Let me try this out, see how she responds.

14:08 Jimmy Kimmel And then, uh, yeah, if you don't tell him that you don't like it, he may try the next step.

14:14 Jimmy Kimmel Right.

14:15 Adam Big toe.

14:16 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I think he kind of, I think he kind of wanted to, but I just kind of said that felt weird.

14:22 Adam And he stopped.

14:24 Jimmy Kimmel Why can't you be more honest? That, hey, I really didn't like that.

14:27 Adam But she's not saying that.

14:29 Jimmy Kimmel She's just saying. I just didn't have time to process it, you know? And then later on, I just felt embarrassed bringing it back up, so I didn't bring it back up. But I left with him knowing, like, I thought it felt weird. And he was like, well, but did it feel good? And I'm like, I guess. I don't know.

14:49 Jimmy Kimmel This is the same thing Adam and Jimmy are doing. They keep going to, well, then it must feel good. You just didn't, you're just ashamed of the fact that it felt good. I'm saying you didn't like it. You're embarrassed. You're violated. You surprised and you don't know how to how to express all these feelings to him. I suspect you're even angry, maybe delighted.

15:05 Adam How long? I agree with both of you. How long does it take to process a thumb in your ass, by the way? Was it the thumb that a three day period? How long does that take?

15:15 Drew Which finger was it? Do you know?

15:17 Jimmy Kimmel I think it was the middle finger.

15:18 Drew You're going to have to have a talk with the finger.

15:20 That's all.

15:21 Jimmy Kimmel Why can't you begin telling him how you're feeling and see where it goes? It doesn't sound like you felt great about it.

15:28 Jimmy Kimmel No, I didn't.

15:29 Jimmy Kimmel That's why I'm calling you. It sounds like you felt awful about it. It's caused all sorts of ambivalent feelings about him. You better just see what those are. I suspect until you start telling them what they are, you're not going to figure it out for yourself.

15:40 Adam Here's the answer. If you tell them it's no big deal, but if you stew about it and start screaming at them about other stuff and cutting them off sexually and everything, then it turns into a big deal. Just go tell them. All right.

15:54 Jimmy Kimmel Okay. So I guess my question was, I mean, is that atypical or is that-

15:58 Jimmy Kimmel It's adventuresome, but it doesn't mean anything.

16:01 Jimmy Kimmel Okay.

16:01 Jimmy Kimmel All right.

16:02 Jimmy Kimmel Okay. Thanks.

16:03 Drew It's not that adventuresome, though.

16:05 Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy, what would be adventuresome?

16:06 Drew Oh, I guess like a safari up your ass would be adventuresome, but yeah, yeah.

16:10 Jimmy Kimmel Camel.

16:11 Drew That's not that big of a deal. The little finger in the ass?

16:14 Jimmy Kimmel In yours?

16:15 And then. Two in there every second.

16:20 Adam You ever put any rope up there, Pan Pan? Oh, wow.

16:25 Drew He just did give us a finger, not in the ass.

16:29 Adam Eric, he really knows how to make a sale. Eric, you're 29. What's up?

16:33 Caller Hey.

16:34 Adam Hey.

16:34 Caller Hey, guys.

16:35 Adam Hey.

16:35 Caller Good to go on radio. Thank you. The first thing, Dr. Drew, I'm a nurse, so I just want to say I hope you write nice and legibly.

16:43 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I wish I did.

16:44 Adam Eric, you know how male meter maids like to be called traffic enforcement personnel?

16:52 Caller Okay.

16:52 Adam Don't you male nurses have some sort of euphemism for your job, too?

16:57 Caller Homosexuals. I've been saying that since I've been a nurse because nurse is an outdated term. When I tell people that I'm a nurse, they think of what a nurse was 100 years ago.

17:05 Jimmy Kimmel No, now they call them patient advocates.

17:07 Adam Really?

17:08 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

17:08 Caller Well, I haven't heard that.

17:09 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, or patient or patient.

17:10 Drew They got the word advocate in there. That's a step in the right direction.

17:14 Jimmy Kimmel Patient care specialist.

17:15 Adam The biggest magazine.

17:18 Caller I like that, patient care specialist.

17:19 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

17:19 Caller I've been trying to think of a new term for the set of nurse.

17:22 Drew You just go with the traditional gay.

17:25 Caller I fight that stereotype constantly.

17:27 Adam Really? Turn it into some sort of initials that people can't decipher, and it always makes you seem smarter than they are.

17:35 Jimmy Kimmel Patient care specialist, you probably get more empowerment out of that too, because it suggests that you sort of, you have specially services within a hospital system. Which is true.

17:43 Caller That sounds good, yeah.

17:44 Drew What about assistant doctor or vice doctor or something like that?

17:47 Jimmy Kimmel They've got that, the physician assistants.

17:48 Caller Yeah, there are physician assistants already out there.

17:50 Adam Alright, well what's your question, Eric?

17:52 Caller Okay, well first of all, Adam, I know that you hate computers, but are you aware of the endless vault of internet porn that you're missing?

17:58 Adam Yeah, I'm told, they try to lure me over to the dark side of computers on an almost weekly basis by promising me more porn, but I won't go for it.

18:08 Jimmy Kimmel It's also, you gotta remember, for Adam, everything is a question of what's the path of least resistance, and so much porn lands on his, what, in your desk, in your house.

18:17 Drew In his pants.

18:17 Jimmy Kimmel Oh my god, I go to the man show.

18:19 Drew Oh yeah, it's like you could really, you could build a shed out of the empty porn boxes.

18:23 Adam Yeah.

18:24 Jimmy Kimmel It's bizarre.

18:24 Drew Yeah, yeah.

18:25 Caller What is that? Well, okay, so speaking of the man show, here's the thing, now this is gonna sound like a joke, but it is not. Now Adam, I think you'll like this, because I remember you saying you used to work at McDonald's. If you remember a couple of years ago, that old woman that spilled coffee on herself, got burned and got $3 million for that.

18:40 Jimmy Kimmel It was like five, six years ago, right?

18:42 Caller It was about six years ago.

18:43 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

18:43 Caller That's correct. Well, I'm the guy that made that cup of coffee. Wow. No joke.

18:47 Jimmy Kimmel Who was the woman?

18:49 Caller Estelle Getty. I don't recall her name.

18:51 Jimmy Kimmel But I mean, what was she like? What kind of person was she?

18:53 Caller She was, well, she was old. She was like 90, she was the passenger. She put this coffee between her legs and spilled it on herself and didn't, just sat in it, did not get out of the car. That's why she got burned so bad.

19:04 Adam What do you need a vagina for at 90 anyway?

19:06 Drew To hold the coffee?

19:08 Jimmy Kimmel Did you have to get?

19:08 Adam Is it just become a cup holder? Is that what happens to the vagina after let's say 75?

19:15 Drew You really should close it down.

19:16 Jimmy Kimmel Did you have to get the paramedics there and all kind of stuff?

19:19 Caller No. Here's the story. Now, see, what it is, I know that on the man show, you guys have said that you can send in a tape and you might air it. So, this is something you'll be interested in.

19:28 Drew Oh, you have a tape of this happening?

19:30 Caller Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't.

19:32 Drew You're going to do it to some old lady?

19:34 Caller No, I don't. No, I could make a tape.

19:37 Adam A tape that you can reenact, man, if you're narrating?

19:40 Caller Yeah, sort of like that because here's the story. This woman, she comes through like nine o'clock at night and she ordered coffee. Now, you know, Adam, we have to keep fresh products, but nine o'clock at night, we don't keep fresh coffee.

19:51 Adam But Eric, hold on a second. I'm more interested in the tape you're going to make.

19:55 Caller Yeah, really.

19:57 Adam How are you going to make this tape of an event that happened six years ago?

20:01 Caller Well, kind of what happened with the... He's going to tell you.

20:04 Drew No, I'd rather see some pictures of you in the white shoes. Yeah, that would be more entertaining. With the little hat. Right.

20:10 Caller Do you have to wear white shoes?

20:14 Drew Yeah.

20:14 Caller Yeah.

20:14 Jimmy Kimmel All right. So what happened? So you made new coffee.

20:18 Caller So I had the headphones on and I hear her order coffee, so I run over and start brewing it fresh right away. That's why it was so hot because it was freshly brewed.

20:25 Jimmy Kimmel Oh.

20:25 Caller So she gets up to the window. I hand it to her. She puts it in her lap, subsequently spills it on herself, gets upset, wants to talk to the manager. So the manager, who is kind of a sarcastic woman, goes in, talks to her for a few minutes, and then they take off and the manager comes out of the drive-through window and says, that old bag's just upset because she can't get anything else hot between her legs.

20:44 Jimmy Kimmel Oh my God.

20:45 Drew All right. Now you should make a tape of this.

20:47 Caller Yeah. Yeah. So that is the true story. That was actually what happened.

20:51 Adam All right. Well, let's start with an audio cassette. We'll run that on the show.

20:57 Drew And see how the viewers like it.

20:58 Caller We'll use a great poster for you, too.

21:02 Adam Wait a minute. Now I got to hear his poster. What poster? Very fast.

21:06 Caller OK. Well, he took a picture of me standing outside of this McDonald's holding a steaming cup of coffee, the big smirk on my face, and said, if you want cold coffee, go to Danny's.

21:14 Adam All right.

21:15 Caller That's great. He's been waiting for years.

21:17 Adam All right. That's why I got in a fast pace of the world of nursing.

21:25 Drew This is why we get paid a lot, because we hear ideas like this all the time. It's not for our skill. It's because of the abuse that we have to constantly endure. Right.

21:37 Adam And I just had this thought about, if I was a male nurse, I would be wearing some sweat bands and maybe some blackout under my eyes or something. I would really butch it up. I'd try to take, they wear those white polyester slacks with the flared bottoms and those horrible white sort of unisex shoes and stuff. Earth shoes. They always have too much soul. What's up with the nurse? Where are they going? You know what I mean? Okay, they walk around a hospital, but construction guys walk around all day in boots. Why do they have to be so goddamn comfortable all the time?

22:11 Drew You can't go too much though, because then it looks bad. You know, you look like one of the village people. What you're going to do is like shave your favorite team's name into your head or walk around.

22:20 Jimmy Kimmel Big G with the Green Bay thing.

22:21 Drew Yeah, that would be good. Or with a big foam finger, you know, for some team.

22:25 Adam Something, one of those beer hats.

22:27 Drew Yeah.

22:29 Adam Something. And I have to butch up my uniform just a little bit. Hey, Jason?

22:35 Yeah.

22:36 Adam You're 18?

22:37 Caller Yeah.

22:37 Adam What's up?

22:38 Caller Well, first of all, I like to say that I love your show, Adam and Drew. You guys are great.

22:44 Adam And the Man Show.

22:46 Caller Yes, and the Man Show. Jimmy, you're great too. Thank you.

22:49 Adam Do you know the names of those cartoon pandas from the Brady Bunch cartoon?

22:53 Caller Yeah, I heard you say that someone should get on the Internet. And I did as you told me.

22:58 Adam Yeah.

22:59 Caller And I found that their names were Ping and Pong.

23:02 Adam Ping and Pong.

23:03 Caller That's right.

23:04 Adam Pretty close to Pan Pan. Yeah, pretty close.

23:06 Caller Let's change his name to Ping Pong.

23:07 Adam All right, Ping Pong.

23:08 All right, James, thanks.

23:09 Adam Yeah, no problem. And what about that magpie that flew around by its feather, tail feather spinning around like a helicopter blade?

23:18 Caller Its name was Foosball.

23:19 We'll put you on hold. We'll put you on hold.

23:21 Adam Look that up, all right?

23:22 Caller Marlin.

23:23 Adam Oh, Marlin. That's right. There you go. Or it was like Merlin, the magician.

23:27 Caller Marlin, yeah.

23:27 Adam Right.

23:28 Caller M-A-R-L-O-N.

23:29 Adam Thank you.

23:30 Caller And it looks like the guy had named Larry Storch.

23:34 Drew Sure, yeah.

23:35 Jimmy Kimmel Larry Storch was the true witch.

23:37 Adam F-Troop.

23:38 Drew F-Troop, yeah.

23:40 Caller He got the main billings for that cartoon because he had the...

23:43 Adam Sure, he was...

23:44 Caller He did those three voices.

23:45 Adam He did Marcia. All right. All right, Jason, thanks. Have fun not dating this weekend, okay?

23:53 Jimmy Kimmel Hey, Jimmy, now with you as a guest, we have burned through two calls that segment, so I want to thank you. The two of you are just really great radio channels.

23:59 Adam Oh, please.

23:59 Drew You're not helping people. Who are we kidding here?

24:02 Adam All right, I'm going to...

24:03 Drew I put a finger in my ass.

24:05 Adam I'm going to...

24:06 Drew Call the police.

24:07 Adam Ping-Pong, I want you to make me up like what I would call like the vegan set, you know, a very light knife set, all right? We'll take a break and we'll be back.

24:21 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

24:31 Adam Hey, everybody. Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Our guest is Jimmy Kimmel. He, of course, is the co-star of The Man Show, funniest show on television, according to Governor Jesse Ventura. Sunday Nights on Comedy Central, 10 o'clock. And one of the one of the repeats, Jimmy, Wednesday.

24:54 Drew They've been running them, right?

24:56 Adam Thursday, Saturday.

24:57 Drew Yeah, we should just promote this Sunday, though.

25:00 Adam All right, screw that. Sunday Nights, 10 o'clock. And also you can find Jimmy doing the Foxpre game coming up in a few months, right?

25:10 Drew We're also in Jane magazine, it looks like. And here's how you know that we're doing well. We're on the same page as Moon Unit Zappa.

25:16 Adam That's right. We've got to get a new publicist. We're in this month's Jane magazine, and I think Jimmy was telling them about the time he made me believe that the lead singer from The Dixie Chicks was in love with me.

25:34 Drew Stalking him.

25:35 Adam Yeah, more than love.

25:36 Jimmy Kimmel That was one of the best practical jokes of all time.

25:39 Drew He even enjoyed being there.

25:40 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I want to see the video footage of that.

25:42 Drew If I had lost it, it would have been brilliant. Yeah.

25:44 Caller Oh.

25:46 Drew I have a knack for losing things. I lost it immediately, though, in fairness to me, so it's almost like I didn't tape it.

25:51 Adam Yeah, it was great. One day we'll tell that story again. It was a great story. The thing that was great is the big submarine sandwich.

26:01 Jimmy Kimmel It's on the best of coming up next week. You're going to review that whole story. All right.

26:05 Adam Well, listen next week. Anderson, is it with the Dixie Chicks? Are they in the studio or am I just telling the story?

26:16 Jimmy Kimmel You're telling the story to some girl you're trying to impress and it backfires.

26:19 Adam I see. Interesting. All right. I have no idea. Didn't we hear him over the air?

26:24 Jimmy Kimmel He said that there's a guest, a female.

26:26 Adam Yes, I heard that. I don't know if everyone can hear Anderson or just me. He likes to mix it up. Sometimes it seems like I'm just answering nobody and then other times I'm explaining what he said after everyone heard it. Fiona?

26:42 Jimmy Kimmel Hello?

26:42 Adam You're 16?

26:43 Jimmy Kimmel Hi, Adam and Drew. I love you guys. Adam, I have your name on my shoes.

26:48 Caller Oh, that's right.

26:52 Adam That's how you know you've arrived. You're what?

26:55 Jimmy Kimmel On my underwear too.

26:56 Adam Oh, that's great. So if you lose them in camp, they'll return them to me.

27:02 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I've called before.

27:04 You might remember me.

27:05 Jimmy Kimmel Like I used to sleep with my parents.

27:08 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. Keep going. Yeah.

27:11 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. Well, I'm really messed up. My question today is-

27:15 Jimmy Kimmel What do you mean you're really messed up?

27:21 Jimmy Kimmel I'm whacked out. Yeah.

27:22 Drew Well, you got Adam's name on your shoes.

27:24 Jimmy Kimmel But what else are you doing besides that?

27:26 Adam A lot of folks have that, Jimmy.

27:27 Caller I can't believe I'm talking to you, Adam.

27:29 I love you.

27:30 Caller Yeah.

27:31 Jimmy Kimmel That's a strike against you.

27:33 Caller This is what happens when you sleep with your parents.

27:36 Jimmy Kimmel I love you so much.

27:37 You're so sexy, Adam.

27:38 Jimmy Kimmel But what else are you doing?

27:40 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, and unlike the other girl last night, I know your hobbies.

27:45 Adam Oh, you know my hobbies, right?

27:46 Yeah.

27:46 Jimmy Kimmel Have you been in psychiatric hospitals or something? What do you mean you're whacked out?

27:49 Jimmy Kimmel No, but I'm on Paxil.

27:54 Adam How long did you sleep with your parents?

27:57 Jimmy Kimmel Since I was a little girl.

27:59 Drew Until when?

28:02 Jimmy Kimmel Until I don't know, until I was 15.

28:04 Jimmy Kimmel Why?

28:05 I don't know.

28:07 Drew Did you have a small house or something?

28:10 Jimmy Kimmel No, big house, but I don't know.

28:13 Adam Okay.

28:14 Jimmy Kimmel I felt comfortable there.

28:16 Jimmy Kimmel Well, this is not about her. It's about her parents. I think I remember telling you this before. It's your parents' job to help you individuate to the point that you can feel safe doing things by yourself. Yeah.

28:26 Adam My parents were so hell bent on not coddling us kids that my dad actually moved out when I was seven.

28:33 Drew You got to live in the garage.

28:34 Yeah, I got to live in the garage.

28:35 Jimmy Kimmel Do you know all the details of the garage?

28:37 Adam I have a popcorn bucket.

28:39 Caller Popcorn bucket. Souvenir popcorn bucket.

28:42 Adam I know them all too well. Let me say this because I say it once in a while, but I can never say it enough. Parents, if you're listening, you rolled the dice and it came up snake eyes. Because now I got the radio show. Smart move. Smart. You played the odds, but you got burned.

28:58 Adam.

28:59 Adam Yeah?

29:00 Jimmy Kimmel I really don't know what you see in Jimmy. He's like hairy and fat.

29:04 Drew How dare you? First off, we don't really have a physical relationship.

29:09 Jimmy Kimmel You don't?

29:10 Adam Not yet. We'll see what happens.

29:12 Jimmy Kimmel You don't understand, Jimmy. He's been talking about that for quite some time. I guess this is all fantasy at this point.

29:16 Drew Yes, it's still all fantasy. Wait till we get older.

29:20 OK.

29:21 Jimmy Kimmel My question is, like when I was seven and my little brother was three.

29:28 Drew One time at bad camp.

29:31 No.

29:31 Jimmy Kimmel I used to masturbate in front of him.

29:34 Adam When he was three.

29:35 Jimmy Kimmel Regularly?

29:36 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

29:37 Adam And how is he doing now?

29:40 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know. That's why I'm scared because he's going into puberty and he might remember and I'm scared.

29:47 Jimmy Kimmel Did you masturbate till orgasm or were you just sort of being provocative? Just being provocative in front of him? What was going through your mind at the time? Do you remember?

29:57 Jimmy Kimmel This is fun.

30:00 Jimmy Kimmel And what were your sort of intention with it? Did you have one?

30:03 Just to get excited because it felt good.

30:06 Adam How much?

30:07 Jimmy Kimmel But why him? Why did you need him involved in it?

30:09 I didn't need him.

30:12 Jimmy Kimmel I just thought to myself, oh, he's a baby.

30:14 He's not going to remember.

30:16 Adam Well, maybe he won't.

30:18 Jimmy Kimmel Well, kids will do these sexually provocative things when there's sort of trauma in the house, when they're hyper aroused because of parents fighting or breaking up or somebody on drugs or something excessive going on.

30:30 Jimmy Kimmel My dad was an alcoholic.

30:31 Jimmy Kimmel Okay. Well, that's the kind of thing. In my patients, sometimes their kids will act out for a short while, they'll masturbate at school and stuff. It is just sort of these bizarre sort of aggressive acts. Not after nine, but before that, you know. But no, they will do these strange acts as sexually provocative.

30:48 Drew Very chipper, though, Goldie Hawn type attitude towards her insanity.

30:53 Adam Yeah, she's very jovial about her disease. I like that. I wish more crazy people. You know, I've said many times, I miss the crazy people who thought they were Napoleon instead of the guys who want to put a broken bottle in your spine at the park, you know. I'd like to get back to that day, where, you know, where you chase around with big nets.

31:11 Drew Yeah, making pronouncements in the park.

31:13 Adam I'm Napoleon and a guy in a white suit would chase him with a net. I like that kind of crazy. Yeah. That fun, innocent crazy. All right, so, look, tell Fiona what to do real fast so we'll get another call.

31:23 Jimmy Kimmel I didn't hear a question.

31:24 Drew Oh, she doesn't have one.

31:26 Adam She doesn't have one. Your brother's fine. He doesn't remember.

31:29 Jimmy Kimmel This is not nearly as bad. It's not about you so much as what else was going on with your parents. That's the big issue here and, you know, you know, you've got some issues. You might want to get some therapy because the stuff can be traded.

31:40 Adam All right. I want to talk to this vasectomy guy. Scott?

31:44 Yes.

31:45 Adam You're 29?

31:46 Caller Yes, I am.

31:47 Adam What's up?

31:48 Caller Hey, about two months ago, I ended up getting a vasectomy and my nuts ache every day. It's really bothering me.

31:57 Jimmy Kimmel Wow.

31:58 Caller Yes.

31:58 Jimmy Kimmel That doesn't sound good.

32:00 Caller No, it doesn't.

32:00 Jimmy Kimmel Are you taking any anti-inflammatories or anything like that?

32:03 Caller They put me on that about, actually it was probably two and a half months ago that I had it done, but about three and a half weeks ago they put me on it. I went and had everything checked out because I felt it was a problem and still no results.

32:15 Jimmy Kimmel What was the anti-inflammatory?

32:15 Caller I was constantly being kicked in the nuts.

32:17 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, beautiful. What was the anti-inflammatory they put you on?

32:20 Caller To be honest with you, I do not know.

32:21 Jimmy Kimmel Was it once a day, three times a day?

32:23 Caller Once a day.

32:24 Jimmy Kimmel Vioxx?

32:26 Caller I could not quote it to you.

32:27 Jimmy Kimmel They may want to put you on something stronger that way. They may want to treat you with some antibiotics.

32:31 Adam What is going on with them?

32:33 Jimmy Kimmel I do not know. They may want to do an ultrasound to see what is going on. It just sounds like inflammation, whether it is inflammation and infection or just some sort of leftover inflammation from the surgery. People that have vasectomies should not expect them to walk around with painful nuts. That is not okay. Okay, so you should... You want to get that on a loop?

32:52 Adam You should be a spokesman for the National Council of Vasectomies.

32:56 Jimmy Kimmel No, you should go back to the doctor until you get something...

33:00 Drew I would not leave. I would be standing in the doorway until the pain subsides. That is the worst ever.

33:05 Adam Doctors are very tricky that way because they go, it is going to hurt for a couple of days, get the F out of here, and then it should go away. So they clear everybody out. It would be great if every business worked that way. If you fix cars, you go, it is going to drive like cramp and leak oil for a few days. Let's go ahead, get out of here, give me some money. Okay, see ya. And then it will probably clear up. It is great because you feel worse when you leave the doctors after they have done a procedure on you, and it gets them the money and it gets you out of there, Drew, right?

33:33 Jimmy Kimmel Whatever.

33:34 Adam I mean, is there any other business that works that way where it is actually worse when you leave and it is going to be bad and you should pay me anyway? You know what I am saying?

33:43 Drew No.

33:44 Adam It works great. So Scott, yeah, he told you it was going to be sore for a few days and now it has been a few months.

33:49 Jimmy Kimmel It has been too long. Right.

33:51 Adam So you go back.

33:52 Jimmy Kimmel Okay. Keep going back. It is not okay that it hurts.

33:55 Drew In the meantime, ice them.

33:56 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, you can ice them. It might help.

33:58 Caller Really?

34:00 Jimmy Kimmel You tried that?

34:00 Drew I was kidding, but ice them.

34:02 Jimmy Kimmel No, ice them.

34:02 Caller It works. You never think that ice on your nuts would feel so good.

34:06 Drew Really? Yeah.

34:07 Adam Can you masturbate?

34:09 Caller Oh, very well.

34:10 Adam Oh, you can? I love about that.

34:13 Drew Of course.

34:14 Adam No problem.

34:15 Jimmy Kimmel Would I be wasting my time calling you if that was a problem?

34:18 Drew All right, Drew, did Adam tell you about my terrible medical problem that I had?

34:21 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, no. There's more blood out the ass.

34:24 Drew Just headache during orgasm, HDO. Have you heard of this?

34:27 Jimmy Kimmel Why did you tell me about this?

34:29 Adam I thought he talked to you about it.

34:31 Drew No, no, I didn't. I looked it up on the Internet. Well, it needs to be worked out. I guess it's fairly common.

34:39 Jimmy Kimmel If that's what it is.

34:40 Drew Well, no, it's gone now.

34:42 Adam You get a headache during masturbation.

34:44 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, just not in sexual act, but just when you're by yourself.

34:48 Drew No, no, the first time I got it was in the sexual act. Don't tell my wife. She hit me over the head with a pan.

34:58 Jimmy Kimmel With a cut-cone knife?

35:01 Drew No, and I got this excruciatingly horrible headache. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was really the worst headache I've ever had.

35:08 Jimmy Kimmel Did you have any visual changes with it?

35:11 Drew I was a mess for like two hours.

35:12 Jimmy Kimmel Seriously?

35:13 Drew Yeah, and then I tried masturbating the next night, and I had it again.

35:17 Jimmy Kimmel That's again the genius of the male.

35:18 Drew I called the doctor. Well, you know, I didn't know it was real. I thought I just had a headache that night.

35:22 Jimmy Kimmel Was your neck stiff with this?

35:24 Drew Not really, no. The neck wasn't stiff, but I eventually got over it. I read on the internet, it usually lasts about two weeks, and it goes away, and sure enough, it did.

35:32 Jimmy Kimmel I mean, there is such a thing, but it's always good to look through other causes.

35:37 Adam But he went and had a CAT scan.

35:38 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, yeah, he had a CAT scan. Good, good, good. Excellent.

35:40 Drew Yeah, everything looked fine.

35:43 Jimmy Kimmel I bet.

35:43 Drew Relatively, anyway.

35:45 Adam All right, we were going to take ourselves a break. Jimmy Kimmel is here from The Man Show. On when, Jimmy?

35:51 Drew Sunday nights at 10 o'clock, Comedy Central.

35:53 Adam Fantastic. Of course, Dr. Drew and you, and we'll be back after this. Hey, everybody.

36:05 This is it.

36:07 Adam It's The Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Pan pan. Hit the road, Rob.

36:14 Caller The knife shells.

36:15 Jimmy Kimmel Don't leave this here.

36:16 Drew The kid who's shelling knives.

36:19 Jimmy Kimmel And me in a room with Jimmy and Adam and swords.

36:23 Caller Swords.

36:25 Drew There you go, Pan.

36:25 Adam Phone number for Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Jimmy Kimmel is our guest tonight from the Fox Sports Pre Game Show. And of course, The Man Show, Sunday nights on Comedy Central. 10 o'clock.

36:39 Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy, are you going to play in the Dodger Game this year?

36:41 Drew I was invited to play in the Dodger Game.

36:42 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, me too. What do you think?

36:44 Drew We were both invited and Adam was specifically not invited. I'd love to have to go to a wedding on the 4th of July.

36:51 Jimmy Kimmel I sent a team in to try to get him in. I did. I knew he'd like it.

36:55 Caller Really?

36:55 Drew I sent a team in to keep him out. It's a lot funnier.

36:58 Jimmy Kimmel You didn't have to.

37:00 Caller Really?

37:01 Adam Yeah.

37:01 Drew Adam is not welcome at Dodger Stadium, not just for the celebrity game, but even as a spectator.

37:07 Jimmy Kimmel He's not allowed to wear blue.

37:11 Adam Well, I'll now become a Crip. Yeah, so I had a little problem there a few years back and I've not been asked to play in it again. And it's too bad to, because to get out in Dodger Stadium.

37:23 Caller Oh, yeah, it's great.

37:24 Drew Drew and I love it. We love it every year.

37:27 Caller We really enjoy it.

37:29 Adam Drew, you don't even play, though. You go there and tell them you don't want to play.

37:32 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I go because I want to get my kids out in the field, let them meet the Dodgers. I love the batting warm-up part.

37:37 Drew He likes to shower with the guys afterwards.

37:39 Jimmy Kimmel It's fun just to hit a ball in Dodger Stadium.

37:42 Drew It's great when you're standing in line and that jack-hole Tony Danza shoves his way to the front and then he puts on a little show of his batting and he demands a wooden bat because a real player wouldn't use an aluminum bat. He takes two cuts with a wooden bat and goes, Where's the aluminum?

37:57 Adam And Corbin Berntzen throwing his curve balls. Who are the other a-holes of that group? And they don't have any real celebrities anymore. They used to be like Billy Crystal and Tom Selleck and guys like that. I mean in years past they used to play at night and they'd play a good long game and there'd be like you know John Wayne out there and stuff and it's falling apart. It really has. It's not even worth going to.

38:23 That's why I think they are different.

38:24 Jimmy Kimmel It would sound if he were actually going. The greatest celebrities on earth go.

38:30 Adam Steve, what's the name of the guy who didn't let me play again? Jack Jilardi.

38:35 Jimmy Kimmel Jack Jilardi.

38:37 Drew Jack Jilardi.

38:38 Adam Jack, you know you always have an open invitation to kiss my hairy ass.

38:43 Drew He's been in bed for four hours.

38:46 Adam Yes, cramping into a bag. Steve, you're 25.

38:50 Caller I'm 25.

38:51 Adam What's up?

38:52 Caller I love your show. I listen all the time and you guys rock.

38:55 Adam Thanks.

38:56 Caller You're the man.

38:57 Adam Oh, you got a good question. You want to know what.

38:59 Caller I do have a good question.

39:00 Adam You want to know what Jimmy.

39:01 Caller I got through.

39:02 Adam What Jimmy did on Kilbourne a few weeks ago.

39:04 Caller He was on Kilbourne a few weeks ago and he was dressed up as.

39:09 It was the Jimmy Richard Simmons. Yeah.

39:11 Caller And you like stood up and I don't know. Did you you know what? I don't know what words I can say, but you expose yourself.

39:16 Drew A testicle came out. It was a testicle.

39:19 Caller It was your testicle.

39:22 Caller It was somebody's testicle.

39:24 Adam Jimmy, Drew, you didn't you didn't know about this.

39:26 Caller Because it was great. They blurred it. Kilbourne made a big scene.

39:30 Drew He almost had a heart attack.

39:32 Adam Jimmy, Jimmy did Kilbourne about three or three weeks ago. And he, for some reason, decided to dress as Richard Simmons, which seemed like a good idea. It turned out to be really funny. And then also the joke was he was going to wear those short, you know, dolphin shorts. And when he stood up at a certain point, he had our prompt department make a big set of novelty nuts that looked pretty realistic, though. Yeah, I mean, I saw them.

39:57 Drew They looked all too realistic. Yeah.

39:59 Adam And the idea is when he stood up, these would fall out of his shorts when he was demonstrating something. And I watched it that night. They just blurred it out. And in Kilburn was kind of going nuts because I don't think he knew what to expect.

40:13 Drew I didn't tell anybody. And it's funny if they don't know.

40:16 Adam I think it read real to him, didn't it?

40:18 Drew He didn't know what was going on, but he knew that he needed to step in and do something.

40:23 Adam It was groundbreaking television.

40:26 Drew Thank you.

40:26 Caller They ruined it for me.

40:28 Drew Thank you.

40:29 Caller And all the people at home.

40:30 Caller Thanks, Steve.

40:30 Caller It must have been nice to be the one to say that I made those testicles for Jimmy Kimmel.

40:36 Drew Yeah.

40:36 Caller In the prop department.

40:37 Drew Oh, yes. Yes. They did fine work. I think they actually took quite great pride in making those testicles.

40:42 Caller It's on their mold of yours.

40:44 Adam No, they just they just used a set of, you know, for basically about a 200 pound guy set of nuts. But it's on their reel. They were telling me. All right, Steve. OK. Now, you know, what up the pan pan? Yeah. First shout out for pan pan tonight.

41:01 Jimmy Kimmel The knife salesman, Jamie and Jimmy got a little work in during the break here, too.

41:06 Drew Yeah, he came back in. He cut through some leather. What his mom is cooking him.

41:11 Adam Again, I mean, knives that cut leather, leather. I've seen him do it. He cut a penny with some shears. He's done leather in a row. Still not seen food cut. Yeah. Jamie.

41:21 Jimmy Kimmel Hello.

41:22 Adam You're 17. What's up?

41:24 Caller I didn't have a really interesting question, but I feel too weird asking my psychiatrist if Prozac doesn't make it harder for you to have an orgasm or just doesn't make you less horny.

41:33 Jimmy Kimmel It can do both or either, and you really do need to talk to your psychiatrist about this. These are some of the more common and uncomfortable side effects. Prozac does it very powerfully, suppresses your libido and can impair orgasm, and it does it for women rather severely.

41:51 Caller Is there anything else that doesn't do it? Yeah.

41:53 Jimmy Kimmel A lot of things. Serizone, Wellbutrin, Remeron.

41:55 Adam Well, don't you take the Wellbutrin with the Prozac?

41:58 Jimmy Kimmel That's one of the ways to do it. If it's important for her to be taking Prozac, or you can switch to Wellbutrin or switch to Serizone, and I suggest you talk to your doctor about it.

42:06 Adam So you were having orgasms before you got on the Prozac?

42:10 Caller Well, yeah. So psychiatrists won't be like, oh, this is for…

42:13 Jimmy Kimmel Jamie, they're psychiatrists. Sexual functioning is sort of their foundation of what they do and talk about. Even though Adam won't talk about his masturbation. It's not a…

42:23 Adam when it becomes a problem…

42:25 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, how many times a day is a problem?

42:27 Adam When I get in my second accident because… driving, because of masturbating, then I'll bring it up. Drew wants me to sit in the therapist's office and I told him…

42:37 Drew He talks about it on TV and the radio all night. How much more can he talk about it?

42:40 Jimmy Kimmel Do you find it slightly bizarre that he talks about it everywhere else but will not and is afraid to mention it to a therapist?

42:45 Drew No, I don't think he thinks of it as a problem.

42:47 Adam Once a day.

42:48 Drew Come on. Yeah, once a day is good for once a day.

42:51 Jimmy Kimmel Oh yeah. Once a day, but even when he has a partner, it's like, it's not the real thing. The real thing is more important than working with a partner.

43:00 Drew Oh, that's just a line, right?

43:02 Adam Yeah. Sex is good. It's just not the real thing. Look, and I've also told you this, Drew. If I am comfortable and I'm sitting on a sofa and I begin talking about masturbation, I will masturbate and I'm scared that's going to happen.

43:16 Drew Once it enters his brain, it's done. I do the same thing. If I'm laying there in bed and I think, masturbate, there's no use fighting it. I better get up and get it over with.

43:26 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, but his concern is sitting on a couch, talking to a therapist on the couch, sitting, talking about masturbation.

43:31 Caller How?

43:32 Adam How it's going to happen.

43:33 Caller Yeah.

43:34 Adam I mean, maybe if I timed it for just the last three minutes of the session, I could run out and do it in the car or on the way to the car or something.

43:40 Jimmy Kimmel Maybe if you take a bullet out of the chamber before you go into the session.

43:44 Adam In the dressing room, in the waiting room, you squeeze one off? Yeah.

43:48 Drew Instead of signing in.

43:50 Adam I'll do that next time, Drew. How dare you. Sarah? And by the way, normal guys that we know are good for once a day. Yeah. Everybody I know. You think that's absurd.

44:01 Jimmy Kimmel Pot smokers hang around pot smokers.

44:05 Adam That's the attraction?

44:06 Yeah.

44:07 Jimmy Kimmel Alcoholics hang around alcoholics. Aeronautics hang around alcoholics.

44:10 Drew You would guess so. I mean, you know this stuff that more guys masturbate once a day. The majority of guys masturbate once a day. Pan pan? How many? Pan pan?

44:22 Caller Five times a day.

44:23 Adam Five times a day.

44:24 Jimmy Kimmel No, listen. It's... It was actually what you used to do that was more of a concern to me. It was like three to five times a day kind of thing. And the fact... With the fist? Yeah. And that it would be a preference. And I really...

44:37 Adam Preference.

44:37 Jimmy Kimmel Well, you were... I forget what we were talking about, but you had a partner and you...

44:41 Adam Three to five times a day. I never told you three to five times. That was high school.

44:47 Drew Every time you say had a partner, it makes them sound gay.

44:49 Adam Yeah.

44:50 Drew Just say girlfriend.

44:51 Jimmy Kimmel A girlfriend.

44:52 Adam Say lover.

44:52 Caller Lover.

44:54 Adam Or life partner.

44:55 Jimmy Kimmel A husband.

44:56 Caller All right.

44:57 Adam I'm done with this, Drew. Sarah? Me? Yes. Hi. Hey, you're 14. What's up?

45:03 Caller Well, first, I just want to say I love all of you, all three of you, and I have you on my shoes and my socks.

45:10 Whatever. Whatever.

45:11 Adam Thank you.

45:12 Caller What?

45:13 Adam Thank you.

45:13 Caller Oh, okay.

45:14 Adam And your socks.

45:15 Caller Drew, you're a passionate man.

45:17 Adam Passionate. He's a very passionate man.

45:19 Caller Yeah. I love you, Drew. But, okay, I'm sorry. I made up my question.

45:24 Adam Oh, okay. That's all right.

45:25 Jimmy Kimmel Well, that's better finish the hour.

45:27 Drew Drew is a passionate man.

45:28 Adam He really is. He really is.

45:34 Caller I mean, he loves women.

45:37 Adam I mean, he really does. I don't know what's so funny about that.

45:42 Caller He's rolling around on the ground right now.

45:45 Jimmy Kimmel What was the serious thing?

45:46 I don't know.

45:48 Adam Oh, he's his sexual metronome is not that passionate. Well, he doesn't stray. Yeah. But he really likes to give a woman a good bang on a frequent basis. When he was in high school for Christ's sake, he was buying condoms in Chinatown. I mean, that's a passionate man. Don't you love that story? Your dad knows every pharmacist in Pasadena, so you schlep out to Chinatown once a month and buy a case of condoms.

46:19 What are you doing with all those condoms?

46:21 Adam You sell to friends? He nailed- I'm a whore.

46:25 Don't I know you?

46:26 Drew He nailed his wife so vigorously, triplets came out.

46:30 Adam That's right. All right. We're going to take a little break. Jimmy Kimmel here, Man Show, Sunday Night, 10 o'clock and we'll be back if we have a passionate one after this.

46:40 Love Line, Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

46:45 Adam Yep, it is Love Line, everybody. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Jimmy Kimmel's our guest tonight from The Man Show. Sunday Nights, 10 o'clock, Comedy Central. Best show on television according to Governor Jesse Ventura. And, of course, coming up soon with the...

47:05 Drew And other wrestlers.

47:06 Adam Fox Pre Game.

47:07 Drew Yeah, other wrestlers like it too. Rowdy Roddy Piper. Oh, really?

47:12 Jimmy Kimmel We met him, didn't we?

47:13 Adam No.

47:14 Jimmy Kimmel I met him. Randy Savage's appearance, right?

47:17 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe.

47:20 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, there he is.

47:22 Adam It's him all right. Even he sounds like he's doing an impression of him.

47:26 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, it's Randy Savage as Randy Savage.

47:29 Adam Yeah, in the Randy Savage story. All right. I told the Pan Pan I was going to buy two cleavers from him.

47:37 Drew You did?

47:37 Adam Two cleavers? One for me, one for you. And that wasn't good enough for him.

47:41 Drew Really?

47:42 Jimmy Kimmel He's not done with you.

47:43 Adam He went right for the catalog. I said, look, two cleavers.

47:45 Drew There's nothing that's going to be good enough for him. He's one of these persistent guys.

47:50 Adam He's relentless.

47:50 Drew What is he studying there at Georgetown?

47:52 Jimmy Kimmel International Relationships.

47:53 Drew Really?

47:54 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, my God.

47:54 Adam Pan Pan.

47:55 Drew Which country is he representing? I hope not ours. Pan Pan.

48:00 Adam He just did the shape of the country.

48:01 Jimmy Kimmel He's been working for the National Terrorist Group.

48:03 Drew US something.

48:05 Adam No. Spell it out again.

48:07 Jimmy Kimmel United Arab Emirates.

48:10 Adam Pan Pan is spelling things out like he's on the sideline of a USC game. China. He did C&C. Oh, is it?

48:18 Jimmy Kimmel CCCP.

48:19 Adam All right. Yeah. You can't go over there and represent them from China. You have to do it from the United States. He's angry. All right. He's going to sell me these cleavers. Here's my, here's my, I don't know. Here's my prediction for Pan Pan. He'll graduate Georgetown in like two and a half years. He'll work his way up through the system. He'll be, he'll use his brain and his assertiveness. He'll, he'll climb the top of the corporate ladder and his wife will kill him. When he's trying to sell her some knives on their honeymoon.

48:55 Drew With one of those cutthroat knives.

48:56 Adam With a knife. Rose, Rose.

49:01 I am not only obsessed with the three of you, but just, you know, the show in general. But since I'm older, I don't have you guys on my shoes, sorry. But I do pay attention to everything that you say. So with your permission, before I ask the question, I'm just going to run through the list of the stuff that I know about you and Jimmy.

49:19 Jimmy Kimmel It sounds like you're like next door or something.

49:22 I practically am because I'm in Culver City.

49:25 Adam Come on out and buy a knife.

49:29 Drew What do you mean stuff you know about us?

49:31 OK, so I listen to the Kevin and Bean show every single day. So I totally miss both of you from the show.

49:39 Adam Oh, and for those of you who are not from LA, that is the sister, the flagship station that carries the show. It's the morning show where Jimmy and I first met and fell in love six, seven years ago.

49:51 Exactly. And you met each other at Bodies of Motion because Jimmy was needing to box and you were boxing there.

49:58 Adam That's right.

49:59 I know that you landed to Boyle yourself.

50:02 Jimmy Kimmel Where was it?

50:02 I did it too.

50:03 Oh, that was the car. It was Carbuncle or whatever.

50:06 Jimmy Kimmel Where was it? Where was it?

50:09 Like on his ass, right?

50:10 Adam No, you're wrong. North Hollywood. It was almost in my asshole.

50:17 Okay.

50:18 Adam Almost.

50:18 Almost in your asshole.

50:20 Drew I was going to say like you were saying it gently. Almost in my asshole.

50:25 Adam Do you realize that I had to bounce a beam from a flashlight off of a mirror onto the ass? Because it's the only way I could see it.

50:35 Exactly.

50:35 Adam It's the way the Egyptians used to get light to the center of the pyramid. They theorize.

50:43 I know that you played football. I know that your dad's a therapist. I know that your mom was pretty much emotionally absent and provided little structure.

50:51 Adam That's right.

50:52 Drew Wow. That's right.

50:53 Of course, you like the porn and the big boobs and you have the whole boobville going on.

50:57 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, we have the boobville.

50:58 Adam I forgot about that.

50:59 The masturbation and the napping is all, you know, that's talk about that too much.

51:04 Adam Well, took care of both today.

51:05 You are obsessed with people that are able to fart on command.

51:10 Adam I think that is being touched by the hand of God. They talk about people who are, you know, clairvoyant, those people, the healers, but to me, it's the people who can fart on command.

51:21 Exactly. I believe you were atheist. You did the Big Brother with Team, right?

51:29 Adam Oh, I was a Catholic Big Brother.

51:30 Catholic Big Brother.

51:31 Adam No, Team was not my Big Brother.

51:33 Drew Here it comes, right after atheist.

51:35 Team was the friend, right?

51:37 Adam Nate was my young ward, and Team was his fat Russian friend who started hanging out.

51:43 Beaches ain't shh, but holes and freaks suck on these balls and leak on these dee...

51:54 Adam Doesn't quite work.

51:55 Drew That's one of your worst renditions of it.

51:56 Adam Yeah. Thank God he captured that. Well, anyway, Rose, I'm boring myself.

52:01 Caller You're boring yourself.

52:03 Adam Do you have a question?

52:04 Well, I know that since Jimmy and you are both geniuses, I'm curious to know what other projects you have coming up after The Man Choke.

52:15 Drew We're building a gazebo.

52:17 Aside from that, like movies or anything like that.

52:21 Jimmy Kimmel We aren't at liberty to discuss this.

52:23 Adam No, we can. We're trying to work on a movie. And hopefully, we're going to do it with Ivan Reitman. But, you know, nothing's carved in stone yet. But it looks pretty good. And then we did this development deal with Comedy Central. We're going to try to do some more shows for him. That we're not necessarily in.

52:44 You're not necessarily in.

52:45 Adam Right.

52:45 But you're just attached to them.

52:47 Adam Well, we'll produce them.

52:48 Okay.

52:49 Drew Right.

52:50 And Jimmy, how's your cousin Sal?

52:51 Drew Cousin Sal's doing well.

52:53 Adam He's a dynamite.

52:54 Drew He's a dynamite lady.

52:56 Jimmy Kimmel Rose, I know these guys love to talk about themselves, but it's been about six minutes now, so we gotta go.

53:00 Adam Thank you, babe. Let me tell you something about cousin Sal. We had his birthday over at the party house, which by the way is paying for itself, a couple days back in Jimmy. Because Jimmy's really, I gotta take this time to talk about Jimmy for a second, because a lot of people think he's in a hole.

53:17 Drew No.

53:17 Adam But Jimmy is the most fiercely loyal, generous guy you'll ever want to meet. I mean, he will do more for a stranger than your own family will do for you. And his cousin Sal, I mean, he's a moderately talented guy who's extremely funny and has a lot of good mascot qualities. He's just a great guy to hang around with. And he was in New York doing nothing with his life. He was going to be an attorney, but Jimmy decided it was dead end. And he brought him out here and he got him a good gig and he's taken him under his wing. And Sal has really blossomed. And for his birthday, he got him a Rowdy Roddy Piper. He flew him in to come to the birthday party. And Sal's a fanatic about Rowdy Roddy.

54:03 Drew Boyhead idol.

54:04 Adam Sal almost started crying when Rowdy.

54:07 Drew Yeah, it was a great moment.

54:08 Adam It was a great, great moment. Sal's usually not at a loss for words, but he was like a deer in the headlights when Rowdy came out. And Rowdy wore the kilt and the wrestling shoes, got him in a headlock. It was really a great moment. Crystal?

54:26 Caller Oh, hi.

54:27 Adam It's like Jimmy's to make a wish foundation for guys who aren't dying. We just want to know.

54:33 Caller I held out all week to be on the day Jimmy Kimmel was on too.

54:38 Adam Oh, you did? What's up Crystal?

54:40 Jimmy Kimmel What's up?

54:40 Caller I almost called yesterday too.

54:41 Jimmy Kimmel What's your question?

54:44 Caller I was masturbating with my baton, toilet baton.

54:49 Adam Those halftime shows are getting really liberal. It's been a while since I've intended a high school football game, but a lot has changed.

54:56 Drew I've seen the ass tuba, but never this.

55:02 Caller I was wondering if I could injure myself if I put it in too far.

55:06 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

55:07 Caller Yeah.

55:08 Adam Well, isn't that why they put those rubber balls on the end of it, so you don't cut?

55:11 Drew No.

55:12 Jimmy Kimmel What are you doing, Crystal?

55:15 Caller Well, I don't see my boyfriend for weeks at a time.

55:18 Adam Oh, okay.

55:20 Caller And I don't have a real...

55:22 Jimmy Kimmel This is why I want to make Adam talk to his therapist, is for behavior like this.

55:25 Drew What, are you in high school or something? No.

55:28 Caller I graduated.

55:30 Adam What do you do with the baton? Why do you have a baton?

55:33 Caller Well, I used to be in baton when I was like eight and stuff. I was in parades.

55:37 Drew Well, I think it's great. I mean, most people just throw things in the closet. At least you're using it.

55:41 Caller Yeah. Mine is like in my Alhambra bottle next to my bed.

55:44 Adam So I don't know what Alhambra bottle is.

55:47 Caller I put money in it.

55:49 Drew Oh, of course.

55:50 Jimmy Kimmel Can you invest some of that money and maybe a more practical device?

55:56 Caller I don't know.

55:58 Adam What's you're not using one of those novelty wooden guns that the drill team uses.

56:03 Drew Good thing she wasn't a flag twirler.

56:07 Adam Crystal, what's wrong with you? Are you nuts? Do you have problems?

56:10 Caller Probably. I always talk to my friend about how I have problems and that I should call the show, but I've really never had a question.

56:17 Jimmy Kimmel Well, here you are.

56:18 Caller Yeah.

56:19 Jimmy Kimmel What are the kind of problems you have?

56:21 Caller Yeah, I don't know. I've been manic depressive for a while, but I'm just self-diagnosed. I mean, I tried to see a psychologist, but she just pissed me off the way she was like judging me and the way she looked at me. I just didn't like it.

56:33 Drew Right, right. You can't have that. You can't have them looking at you.

56:36 Adam No, they should tell you you're completely self-actualized and send you on your way with your baton. Hey, but Crystal, what are you doing now? You graduated high school.

56:46 Caller Yeah.

56:46 Adam And are you working? You go to college?

56:49 Caller No, I've been filling out applications for a job.

56:54 Jimmy Kimmel Crystal, why don't you get somebody to take a look at you, see if you really feel you're bipolar.

56:58 Drew She doesn't like them looking at her. That's why, Drew.

57:02 Caller Yeah, and I don't think I like women psychologists either. She was like a counselor. I wanted a psychiatrist.

57:08 Jimmy Kimmel All right, get yourself a male psychiatrist and see if there's something to help you with this. To me, this sort of has a self-destructive sound to it.

57:17 Caller Well, it's not like I was really shoving it. I had like one end in my feet and I was laying down.

57:26 Adam Oh, interesting.

57:27 Caller And so it's not like I was.

57:29 Adam And what were you with your hands? You were leading the band. Listen, Crystal, I forget about baton in the vagina aside, which I end up saying almost every week on this show. I can hear in your voice that you're depressed and that you have some issues to work out.

57:47 Caller I'm just nervous, really. I get like weird.

57:49 Adam OK, but listen, you're living at home. You got a baton in you.

57:53 Drew You got a good voice for creativity, though, right? That's true.

57:56 Caller Right?

57:57 Caller It was pretty good.

57:59 Adam Get a little therapy. And what about your boyfriend? Where is he? In prison?

58:03 Caller No, he's not in prison. I just don't see him much because he like work and he doesn't have his own car and he lives far away. He's working on his car, though.

58:11 Adam All right. All right. Where does he live? How far away?

58:15 Caller I don't know.

58:16 Drew Well, maybe try putting a pogo step up. And you hop over there.

58:20 Adam Right.

58:20 Jimmy Kimmel You don't know?

58:21 Caller I don't know. I've ridden the bus over there, and I don't really pay attention in car rides. I just stare out the window.

58:26 Adam Right.

58:27 Jimmy Kimmel How old is he?

58:27 Adam Even when you're driving?

58:28 Caller He's 22.

58:30 Adam All right. I don't trust him. I don't know why.

58:33 Caller Most of my friends say that, though.

58:34 Adam I worry a little about you. Is your dad around?

58:38 Caller Well, no.

58:38 Adam No?

58:39 Caller I used to visit him every Friday when I was a littler, but then around 6, I just didn't care anymore, and I didn't really want to go.

58:46 Adam And you don't like your mom?

58:48 Caller She's okay. She's drunk most of the time.

58:51 Adam All right.

58:51 Jimmy Kimmel Well, there you go.

58:52 Caller Yeah, I told you I had problems.

58:53 Adam Yes.

58:55 Drew Why is it that, and this could just be my perception, but it seems like so many more people are on these drugs and they're able to be medicated and hopefully be regulated and all that stuff, but it seems like there are so many more crazy people. Are we building a tolerance to these drugs?

59:12 Jimmy Kimmel No, and I don't know that it's true they're more crazy people, but they're true that there's more effed up families, and that's creating more effed up people.

59:19 Drew Interest.

59:20 Jimmy Kimmel And they may not be crazy, but there's a lot of effed up qualities about people.

59:24 Drew And by effed, you mean what?

59:28 Jimmy Kimmel I just, just a generic term.

59:29 Caller Oh, I see.

59:30 Jimmy Kimmel But that the behavior, the lack of self worth, the lack of ability to regulate.

59:36 Drew Because when I was a kid, there was one kid in the class that was crazy, the crazy kid in the class. And like around two in the afternoon, he had to go to the nurse and take a pill. And then he'd come back and we'd all make fun of him because he had to go take his pill. But there was only one. And now it seems like maybe there's like 26 kids that have to go take the pill while the one normal kid sits behind.

59:54 Adam Well, listen, you ever see those Roach commercials for Raid? They talk about how they lay eggs and how they expand and how you start off with one crazy family and they pop out a couple of kids and then they have a few kids. And before you know it, it's like if you see those maps of World War II when they had the Nazi Germany taking over Europe, it's that kind of thing. It's just that big sea of crazy people that are producing kids. She'll have a couple of kids with her crazy boyfriend who's whereabouts she does not know. And then there'll be more crazy people.

1:00:29 Jimmy Kimmel We used to live in a time when people were helped to contain their behaviors. The last 20 years, it's like, hey, let it all hang out. It's whatever you want. Well, part of that is, you know, have a bunch of kids, do whatever you want. Let the kids live in the garage with a popcorn tin.

1:00:41 Drew And I blame those Have It Your Way commercials.

1:00:44 Jimmy Kimmel No, it's the Nike, your world.

1:00:45 Adam The Reebok, your world. I blame. Jason, Have It Your Way. You're 19. What's up?

1:00:55 Caller Yeah, I noticed a bump the other day, like just at the top of my pubic hair region.

1:01:01 Jimmy Kimmel Is it got a little white, like hard thing on top of it?

1:01:05 Caller Well, it looked kind of similar to like ingrown hair. Right, right. And it, like I pinched it and it kind of got that yellow stuff like a zit would.

1:01:14 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, so that's probably what it is. It ain't ingrown hair then.

1:01:17 Caller Right. It's really, really, really sore.

1:01:21 Jimmy Kimmel Well, you might be getting an infection, a serious infection, so you need to have somebody look at that.

1:01:24 Adam It's got a lancet.

1:01:26 Drew Yeah. You got to pour some gasoline on that thing and keep pinching it.

1:01:29 Adam Right.

1:01:31 Jimmy Kimmel I mean, it could be, you can get really serious infections from that.

1:01:33 Adam Just put some zit cream on it.

1:01:35 Jimmy Kimmel Right now, hot towels would be the best thing, hot compresses, okay? But if it starts, you get fevers, if you feel sick, you've got to be seen immediately.

1:01:44 Adam All right.

1:01:45 Jimmy Kimmel You can get pretty serious infections.

1:01:46 Adam Jimmy, do you remember when the second carbuncle one on my ass, you were in my life at that point, and we went out to eat Mexican food to celebrate? I had a gift certificate. It's destruction. I had like a half-off over at the Rusty Burrito or some one of those crazy... What place did I have? It was in like Glendale. I was celebrating the fact that this... I'd been limping for a week. Yeah. Let me tell you, it was like giving birth. It really was.

1:02:19 Caller It blew?

1:02:20 Jimmy Kimmel Did it get all over the room and stuff?

1:02:21 Adam It went.

1:02:22 Jimmy Kimmel Oh yeah.

1:02:22 Drew I mean, I'm telling you... It's something you never forget.

1:02:25 Caller There was a lot...

1:02:27 Adam I don't want to be too graphic.

1:02:28 Jimmy Kimmel There's a nice bouquet.

1:02:30 Adam But a lot of this white substance came out and sort of dripped down, and it really looked like gay porn. It really looked like the end of a gay porn on my ass. It was really horrible.

1:02:41 Jimmy Kimmel How do you know what that looked like?

1:02:42 Adam I can close my eyes and imagine what that looks like. I did some gay porn in the late 70s. Ryan, you're 14?

1:02:51 Caller Oh, yeah. I have some girl problems right now.

1:02:54 Adam All right.

1:02:56 Caller I've been dating this girl, Erica, for about two months already. And she's been like, I don't know if I should give her another chance because she's been telling me all this kind of stuff. She's been going out with this lady. Well, actually, no, no. She's been telling me, like every other day, she'll be telling me that a couple of...

1:03:22 Drew I mean, mom popped in.

1:03:25 Adam You know what I love about this show? I love the fact that it just starts at 10 and it's over at midnight. And it doesn't matter if we don't help anybody or if they hang up or they just tell these rambling stories with no end to them. Or I talk about my carbuncles. It doesn't matter. I go home at midnight. I love that aspect of this job. I really do. Because other jobs, if this was a regular job, like when I worked carpentry, I couldn't leave because nothing would have gotten done. You'd say, I'd be like, the door you were supposed to hang is still not hung and it's been six hours. You're not leaving until it's hung. But this is great. That's what I love about it. I mean, you get fired, I guess. Right?

1:04:06 Jimmy Kimmel GIO Yeah, you could. Anderson, did you saw the tape of that woman that was talking about that opening call with that one night when the girl was talking about something really explicit and her mom, oh, it's gone.

1:04:16 Adam Her mom came in.

1:04:18 Jimmy Kimmel So, hi mom, good night, I love you.

1:04:19 Adam And then back to crazy, crazy finger banging hand job stories. Sylvia?

1:04:27 Caller Yeah.

1:04:27 Adam You're 18?

1:04:28 Caller Yep.

1:04:29 Adam What's up?

1:04:32 Caller After my last couple periods, well, maybe three or four, I've had a reoccurring yeast infection. And I like, I went to my doctor, and he didn't seem concerned about it at all. He prescribed like a pill to take, you know, like once. And then it should go away. And he gave me a couple of refills on it. So I could like, you know, get rid of it.

1:04:52 Jimmy Kimmel When was this?

1:04:55 Caller Couple months ago.

1:04:56 Caller All right.

1:04:57 Caller And so I like got the prescription when my yeast infection came back. And then the last couple of times, it hasn't like totally gone away. So I don't know what to do. Because I've tried the over-the-counter.

1:05:08 Jimmy Kimmel Have you gone? No, the Di-Flu can that they gave you is the most powerful stuff. So that's fine. Have you gone back to talk to the doctor about it?

1:05:15 Caller Not yet.

1:05:15 Jimmy Kimmel Well, why don't you do that?

1:05:16 Adam Why can't you buy that under the counter?

1:05:19 Jimmy Kimmel Di-Flu can?

1:05:19 Adam Or over the counter?

1:05:21 Jimmy Kimmel You know, I was reading, I didn't read the article, but there was a headline in the LA Times today that they're going to allow for Internet purchases of drugs. So there may be some in open.

1:05:31 Drew If that gets in the wrong hands, though, I mean, we could wind up never have any more bread.

1:05:35 Adam Yeah, kids with a tube of anti-fungal cream, they could really run amok.

1:05:40 Drew They start making pizza dough.

1:05:41 Adam Eleven-year-old gets hold of that Diflucan, starts sniffing it with his buddies out in the alley.

1:05:47 Jimmy Kimmel So, Sylvia, just, you know, they're certainly well known that it can cause blood sugar problems, can cause the recurrent yeast infections. Inadequate sort of eradication of the yeast from the Diflucan can do it, but that's usually a very good medication. Other alterations of the immune system, if you have something else going on in your system, your body that hasn't been detected yet, and maybe it's not a yeast infection. There are other sorts of things that seem like yeast infections that are not. So you need to get back there. And if this is a gynecologist you were saying? No, it may be time to see a gynecologist.

1:06:16 Adam It's really like it's like a whole ecosystem, the vagina. And if you introduce something new into it, it can destroy it. Which is bizarre to me.

1:06:26 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, it sets up a whole new wildfire. So it's like bio.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, it's like you hear those stories about some frog jumping on some freighter and going to some continent that doesn't have any natural enemies against it and eating like what happened in Louisiana. Right.

1:06:45 Jimmy Kimmel What happened in Louisiana?

1:06:45 Adam With the nutria, those giant rats.

1:06:48 Drew Yeah, the guy who invented Tabasco and Michael Haney brought in the nutria, these rats, these horrible rat creatures to hunt them. But you know, he brought in like a couple of dozen, but they multiplied.

1:06:59 Adam No, he brought them in to do a fur business.

1:07:02 Drew Oh, he did. That's right. These are rats? I thought they were for sport hunting.

1:07:05 Adam No, no. It's like hunting rats.

1:07:08 Drew Oh.

1:07:08 Adam Now, here's, now they're hunting them. Oh. Okay. So, here's what it is. There's these giant rats. I mean, they're sort of like possum.

1:07:16 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

1:07:16 Adam But they're more like just a giant rat.

1:07:18 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

1:07:18 Adam And they're called nutria and they have fur that's kind of decent. And so, the guy brought them in, I don't know, turn of the century or something or maybe early in the last century. And he was raising them to use their fur. And then like a typhoon blew all the cages over and they all got out. And then they multiplied like rats do. And now they eat roots and, you know, the bridges fall down and stuff. And they're all over the place.

1:07:43 Drew And they're vicious.

1:07:44 Adam Horrible, vicious rat creatures that are running all over Louisiana. And they just keep multiplying and they put like a bounty out on them, like a dollar a nutrient.

1:07:53 Drew These geniuses have also tried to convince people they taste good. But they got pictures of them cooking them and the big tails hanging out of the pot and stuff. It's terrifying.

1:08:03 Adam Yeah, it's like, here's the thing. I like eating stuff with furry tails, not bare striped tails. That's a rat tail or a possum tail. The prehensile tail, you know, the tail that actually does something.

1:08:16 Jimmy Kimmel That fleshy tail.

1:08:17 Adam Yeah, the fleshy tail is no good. I'm trying to think.

1:08:20 Drew It's like to eat a nice monkey or something like that.

1:08:22 Adam Right, a nice furry tail. Yeah. Or a cute tail like pigs. Pigs got a nice tail. What do pigs even have tails for? Do they really need those? They're 400 pounds. They got an ounce and a half worth of curly tail hanging over their anus. What does that do?

1:08:36 Drew It's so the curly penis doesn't feel bad.

1:08:39 Adam Oh, yeah, they got a curly penis.

1:08:40 Drew Yeah, they got a corkscrew penis and a curly tail.

1:08:43 Adam Maybe everything is corkscrewy on those pigs. All right, let's look into this.

1:08:49 Drew Can't somebody get on the Internet?

1:08:51 Adam All right. When we come back, we're going to find a good call on there, would you, Drew? The masturbation, the epitaph minus, you want to do that one?

1:09:01 Jimmy Kimmel These are the only two knowns we have up here.

1:09:02 Adam All right. Well, we're going to get the world's best call when we come back with Jimmy Kimmel Man Show Sunday Night Comedy Center.

1:09:13 Caller Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

1:09:20 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew, Jimmy Kimmel and Fen Fen, the knife salesman is here tonight.

1:09:28 Drew What are we going to do with this guy? You know what we're going to do is just make a run for it.

1:09:38 Adam Listen, I told that joker I'd buy two cleavers off of him. It's not enough.

1:09:42 Drew He told you. It's not enough.

1:09:43 Adam To the tune of $115 a cleaver.

1:09:47 Drew Really?

1:09:48 Adam Yes. That's a lot of cleaver.

1:09:50 Drew You know what? You got to put your foot down. You can't give in to this. The guy calls you on your cell phone in the middle of the day.

1:09:56 Jimmy Kimmel It scares me what my wife did.

1:09:57 Drew To come to your home at 730 in the morning?

1:10:00 Jimmy Kimmel Anti-venom. An anti-toxin to venom.

1:10:04 Adam Right.

1:10:04 Jimmy Kimmel Anti-venom.

1:10:05 Adam Here's what we were talking about during the break. Why is it that what comes out of a snake or spider is called venom and the thing that they inject into you to cure that is called anti-venom?

1:10:21 Drew See, you guys thought it was boring what goes on in between the breaks.

1:10:24 Adam Oh, boy. Where did the M go? And I'm saying someone just did that to confuse us people who don't like to think that much. Mike?

1:10:32 Caller Yes.

1:10:33 Adam You're 18?

1:10:34 Caller Yes, I am.

1:10:34 Adam What's up?

1:10:35 Caller Well, first of all, Adam and Jimmy, they're both brilliant, brilliant men.

1:10:39 Adam Thank you.

1:10:40 Caller I have to say that I watch the Man Show religiously.

1:10:44 Jimmy Kimmel All right, Mike.

1:10:45 Drew As a doctor, how does that make you feel, Drew?

1:10:48 Jimmy Kimmel Makes me feel?

1:10:48 Caller And he declares us brilliant.

1:10:50 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, that's why I want to get right to the question. I don't want to waste any more time with this individual.

1:10:55 Caller Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, but I'm afraid Dr. Drew's a genius, so I have to ask him. My question is, can you get Epididymitis from masturbation?

1:11:07 Drew Yes, yes, you can.

1:11:08 Jimmy Kimmel And Jimmy, Jimmy seems to have experienced this.

1:11:11 Drew You know what that is. What is that Epididymitis?

1:11:14 Adam It's an inflammation of your urethra.

1:11:17 Jimmy Kimmel It's for Epididymis.

1:11:18 Adam Well, it's right up under your nuts there.

1:11:21 Drew Did you just fart?

1:11:22 Adam No, I didn't.

1:11:22 Drew I thought I heard something.

1:11:24 Jimmy Kimmel Sorry to disappoint you.

1:11:25 Drew Yeah, but holding up a big book, Drew, on the radio...

1:11:29 Jimmy Kimmel See that packaging center up on top of the test tube here? This little cap gets inflamed.

1:11:34 Drew How come the guys in the drawings always have a bigger penis than I do?

1:11:37 Jimmy Kimmel Well, just think of the probabilities.

1:11:40 Adam Jimmy just farted into the microphone.

1:11:42 Drew It's a small one.

1:11:43 Jimmy Kimmel Here's the evidence here of this big thing.

1:11:44 Drew Yeah, Drew, you're on the radio. You're disproving this guy's theory that you're a genius here.

1:11:49 Adam I have explained to Drew many times how visual aids do not work on the radio, but he refuses to listen to me.

1:11:56 Drew Drew is now being taken away by the male penis. He's gone into a real trance.

1:12:02 Adam Hey, Mike?

1:12:03 Caller Yes.

1:12:03 Adam Yeah, so it can.

1:12:05 Caller Okay, great.

1:12:05 Adam Why, how many times are you doing it a day?

1:12:08 Caller Well, it's not really excessive. Maybe like once in a while. But really, I have it, I have epidermomyosis as a recurring problem. I've had it a couple of times in my life. And I understand that once you have it once, you're probably going to get it.

1:12:20 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, you're prone to it.

1:12:21 Caller So when, you know, when the doctor asks, usually, I'm not sexually active, but I do masturbate. So I guess when the doctor asks, I should probably say that I do do that.

1:12:33 Drew Yeah, and then high five them. That's what you do.

1:12:35 Jimmy Kimmel If you say no.

1:12:35 Drew Yeah.

1:12:38 Jimmy Kimmel What do you say? No, I don't masturbate. I'm 18. A urologist is going to.

1:12:43 Drew And you know what? When I was a kid, I used to masturbate without, I hadn't figured out the used lubrication thing.

1:12:49 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

1:12:50 Drew And I used to really rub myself to the point where things are mushroom out.

1:12:55 Jimmy Kimmel I know that because Adam has told your story many times. I'm here.

1:12:58 Drew Yeah. It was scary. Like a full size, like a portobello mushroom. I remember I went to the gym with my dad one time. I really had to hide in the corner when I changed. Because I know he would have rushed me right to the doctor. And then that would have been it.

1:13:15 Adam I'm not a lube man, as I've explained it to you.

1:13:18 Jimmy Kimmel I understand. But Jimmy, remember when you were justifying Adam's masturbatory habit? Consider your own.

1:13:23 Drew Yeah, but I was a kid when I was a little, you know.

1:13:25 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, that's what he says too. Yeah, that's when I was in high school.

1:13:28 Drew Right. But I'm saying this, Drew, is I venture that we hang out with a lot more guys than you do. Yeah, but you're amongst the male nurses, the...

1:13:36 Jimmy Kimmel But it's not necessarily normal for all men to rub their penis until it nearly rubs off.

1:13:40 Drew Well, I didn't know until I discovered, I mean, this is what people should be learning. This is what, you know...

1:13:49 Jimmy Kimmel That it is a flesh that can be removed from the soft tissue.

1:13:52 Drew Yeah, use something on that. Even if you have to go get a handful of margarine from the...

1:13:58 Adam Yeah, but don't use shampoo.

1:14:00 Drew Not shampoo, that you'll learn quickly, though.

1:14:02 Adam Right.

1:14:03 Caller Or soap.

1:14:04 Drew Soap's bad, too.

1:14:06 Adam Janna?

1:14:06 Drew Drew acts like he doesn't masturbate.

1:14:08 Adam No, he does. What do you want, Anderson? You want a lightning round? No, I don't do lightning round. I only do lightning round when there's no gas. You can't do lightning round with a gas. Unacceptable. Thank you.

1:14:19 Jimmy Kimmel Janna, what's up?

1:14:20 Adam You know that.

1:14:22 Caller Hi.

1:14:23 Adam What's up?

1:14:24 Caller Well, my question is, I was told that women reach their sexual peak around 30 years old.

1:14:30 Jimmy Kimmel Thirty, thirty-five, yeah.

1:14:32 Caller Okay. Well, I was just wondering because my recent current partner, I have orgasms and they're multiple and they're not the clitoral orgasms. It's the first time I've had orgasms like that. I'm wondering if that has something to do with it or?

1:14:54 Jimmy Kimmel Is this a new partner?

1:14:56 Caller Yes.

1:14:56 Adam Well, how do you know the difference between the vaginal and the clitoral?

1:14:59 Jimmy Kimmel You would just mean during intercourse you have orgasm and you didn't have it during intercourse before?

1:15:05 Caller Right.

1:15:05 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, that's good. It's all clitoral. I mean, it doesn't matter what, really.

1:15:10 Drew It's all clitoral.

1:15:11 Adam Yeah. That's what my grandfather used to say that. But you can now have the orgasm via intercourse.

1:15:19 Caller Yes. I've been able to have clitoral orgasms before, but this is...

1:15:24 Jimmy Kimmel So that is the answer to Adam's question.

1:15:26 Adam I'll tell our listeners, I've said this many times, I would match their stupidity up against any other talk show, any regional or national. Because they will give you any answer but the easy answer. They'll just go ahead and phrase it a different way. Starts with no, and then they usually repeat back what you just said.

1:15:44 Drew Maybe it's the guy, maybe he pumps harder, his penis is bigger, you're more excited by him.

1:15:48 Jimmy Kimmel No, no, you're just into this guy, right?

1:15:50 Caller Well, yeah.

1:15:51 Jimmy Kimmel You're really into this guy.

1:15:53 Caller I guess.

1:15:54 Adam Okay. Hey, hey, miss excitement. What do you do for a living? You're an auctioneer or you're a... What do you do?

1:16:03 I'm a retailer.

1:16:04 Caller I sell things.

1:16:06 Adam Really?

1:16:07 Drew We're selling knives.

1:16:09 Adam Are you high right now?

1:16:11 Caller No, not at all.

1:16:12 Drew Tired?

1:16:13 Caller No.

1:16:14 Adam Do you think that we called you and asked you about your orgasms? All right. We're going to let you go. Enjoy the orgasms. Thank you.

1:16:24 Jimmy Kimmel It's not about aging. Although that helps, it's about the person you're with.

1:16:28 Adam Now, I've said this many times, that the vagina breaks in like a good catcher's mitt does.

1:16:34 Jimmy Kimmel But you've also said that there's a lot of the stuff that goes into the vagina that makes it work.

1:16:40 Adam But I also think... What are you saying? I don't know what that is.

1:16:44 Jimmy Kimmel The emotional connection.

1:16:46 Adam Oh, yeah. But I also think it's like this. If I could use an example, that the vagina is tight early on in life and it's very stingy. It's like a slot machine that doesn't pay off. Right. And it starts to loosen up.

1:17:00 Jimmy Kimmel It accumulates quarters of dollars.

1:17:03 Adam As it gets older. And the orgasms start coming out more frequently and more easily. The payoffs. And you talk to all the 17, 18, 19-year-old women who call this show, they're not having orgasms, and all of a sudden, magically at 29 or 30, they're having them, the same woman. And ladies, you can look forward to this. Your vagina at 19 will not be the vagina you'll have at 29 or 35. Whereas we'll have half the penis we had at 19 at 35. Which is what we have to look forward to. But that's all right, because we'll make up for it in the form of shoes and cars. We'll get boots and sports cars and make up for that. Edith?

1:17:47 Yeah.

1:17:48 Adam You're 21?

1:17:49 Caller Uh-huh.

1:17:49 Drew Wow, that was my grandmother's name.

1:17:51 Adam I was going to say, were you named after your grandmother?

1:17:53 Yes.

1:17:54 Drew You were named after my grandmother?

1:17:55 Caller That's my great-grandma, actually.

1:17:57 Adam Really? Yeah, because nobody would name their kid Edith otherwise.

1:18:00 Drew My daughter's middle name.

1:18:01 Adam Really? I had no idea. All right, well somebody would name their... Really? I've got to make fun of her.

1:18:07 Drew I would never go with it for the first name.

1:18:09 Adam No. Yeah, it's like Gertrude. So what's up there, Edith?

1:18:14 Caller Well, I just had my second child five months ago, and for the pap smear came back abnormal, and the second one came back abnormal, and then they took a biopsy. And from in between those times, I hadn't been able to have an orgasm. And it was really, really hard.

1:18:41 Jimmy Kimmel Have you been nervous about this?

1:18:44 Caller Well, yeah, because I try, but I mean...

1:18:47 Jimmy Kimmel Have you been nervous about the dysplasia?

1:18:52 Caller Yeah, kind of.

1:18:54 Caller I really haven't, because I mean, I started having sex when I was 18.

1:18:58 Jimmy Kimmel Are you nervous about the dysplasia?

1:18:59 Adam Hold on, Drew, I'm going to go take a leak, all right?

1:19:01 Jimmy Kimmel I'll ask one more time.

1:19:02 Adam You just keep banging away on the same question over and over again.

1:19:05 Jimmy Kimmel Are you nervous about the dysplasia?

1:19:08 Adam Hold on, let me answer for her. I got my learner's permit when I was 15 and a half, and my daddy had a tractor, and I used to sit on his lap. We'd keep going.

1:19:20 Drew We'd puff into our jugs, and we'd just have a good old time riding up and down, stacking hay, unstacking hay, stacking it up again.

1:19:29 Adam Edith, just say you're nervous. Would you say we could move on? Okay, good. Well, listen. And by the way, any of you think that you're breaking my heart when you hang up? No way. That's more me time on the air. Michelle.

1:19:47 Caller Hi.

1:19:48 Adam You're 20.

1:19:49 Caller Yeah.

1:19:49 Adam What's up?

1:19:50 Caller I have a question about General Wart. I'm fortunate enough to have him on my anus.

1:19:58 Caller Oh, wow.

1:19:59 Adam Bad times.

1:20:01 Caller Hold on.

1:20:01 Adam Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.

1:20:04 Jimmy Kimmel I'm going to ask now, are they are they're just on the anus? They don't go anywhere else?

1:20:10 Caller I'm not really sure. I think that they're pretty much contained in that area.

1:20:13 Jimmy Kimmel And is that where you've been having some activity?

1:20:16 Caller No, I was raped when I was 17. And I guess that's where I got them. None of my other partners have had them.

1:20:24 Drew You think that's where you got them?

1:20:26 Jimmy Kimmel You think that's the only one?

1:20:28 Caller Yeah, I think that's where I got them. Because none of my other partners have had them.

1:20:33 Adam Were you sodomized?

1:20:35 Caller Were you raped?

1:20:36 Adam Yes. How does that work?

1:20:41 Jimmy Kimmel It's like taking a cat.

1:20:43 Adam Well, I know this is...

1:20:45 Drew Ask every guy in prison.

1:20:47 Adam I guess. Really, I can barely just have consensual straight sex sober. I couldn't imagine like holding someone down. First off, I know this gives them the erection, but how do you sustain and keep an erection when someone is like screaming and scratching you? I guess that's what gives them the erection. But then how do you do that again?

1:21:09 You know what I mean?

1:21:11 Adam I couldn't get a dog to take a pill. I couldn't figure that one out. I couldn't get my dog into one of those carrying cases to go to the vet before it died.

1:21:21 Michelle?

1:21:22 Caller Yes?

1:21:22 Adam What happened with this? Did you have a gun or a knife or were you screaming?

1:21:28 Caller Yeah, well I was screaming, but he turned the music on really loud and I was actually at a party and I was already kind of drunk and I had been smoking and I just was overtaken by him.

1:21:40 Adam And there were a lot of people at the party?

1:21:43 Caller There were people at the party, but it was his friend's house and he knew the house pretty well and he just locked the door and it was after somebody went to high school with him.

1:21:54 Adam Did you bring charges against him?

1:21:57 Caller I actually didn't. I reported it to the police, but I didn't bring any charges against him.

1:22:02 Caller How come?

1:22:04 Caller I was really just too freaked out, I guess. I didn't have the energy to deal with it. And actually, I ended up also getting pregnant from it.

1:22:12 Caller Oh, wow.

1:22:14 Jimmy Kimmel Did you have the child?

1:22:16 Caller No, I actually had a miscarriage.

1:22:18 Jimmy Kimmel Well, another present from him. And you should know that, I mean, it is important to have these treated. There is an increased risk of anal cancer with these warts.

1:22:30 Caller Right. I'm worried that I might have them internally, I think, because obviously, he was...

1:22:35 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, also. Have you had abnormal pap smears?

1:22:38 Caller Yeah, I've had normal pap smears. Everything has been fine. But I don't know how... Like, how contagious are they? And what am I supposed to be doing? What am I not supposed to be doing?

1:22:47 Jimmy Kimmel Condoms, condoms, condoms.

1:22:48 Caller Condoms the whole time?

1:22:50 Well, condoms...

1:22:51 Adam Hold on, condoms with the vaginal sacs?

1:22:53 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I was. Because this guy also put his penis in her vagina.

1:22:57 Adam But she doesn't have warts there.

1:22:58 Jimmy Kimmel Not that she can see.

1:23:00 Caller Not that I can see. But if I carry it, what happens if we're just having sex and his penis happens to brush against one? Is that contagious? Does that count?

1:23:10 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, it counts.

1:23:11 Caller That sucks.

1:23:12 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, but you get them controlled. They tend to sort of burn out. I brought out some data the other day where it showed that between 19 and 42 percent of people have these, so it's extremely common.

1:23:23 Adam Yeah, I don't, but...

1:23:25 Jimmy Kimmel Not less than one in five.

1:23:27 Adam When I have sex, that's why I try not to hit the sides. I thread it. I thread it right in.

1:23:33 Jimmy Kimmel You have no problem, dude.

1:23:34 Adam You know that game where you take the ring and you pull it along that metal thing and the buzzer go off? It's the same theory. I can do that with my penis.

1:23:42 Drew It's like when I tore down that clutch, you know?

1:23:44 Adam That's right, through a rebuilt kit on a slave cell. Hey, Michelle? That's a horrible, horrible story and I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm hoping... I'm a little worried. Did anything like this ever happen to you before?

1:24:00 Caller Yeah, I had a lot of abuse as a child.

1:24:02 Adam That's what we figured.

1:24:03 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, because a non-abused individual would have reported the hell out of that.

1:24:06 Adam Well, here's the thing too, and I don't want to dump any salt in the wound, but here goes. If you had not been abused as a child...

1:24:16 Jimmy Kimmel He would have picked it.

1:24:16 Adam He would have bit this guy's penis off. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. Your dad or your family sort of gave you the victim posture and this guy seized it and kept it going, and it's sad that the people who get abused end up getting more abused. But you're 20, and you can do some therapy and take charge of your life. And listen, I don't want you to be ashamed of this, but you get the new boyfriend, don't go into the whole rape with the anal warts story. They'll freak the guy out.

1:24:49 Caller Yeah.

1:24:49 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:24:50 Drew Just tell him where the frog is, a kid.

1:24:52 Adam Tell him you put a baton up there.

1:24:54 Jimmy Kimmel Baton.

1:24:56 Caller All right.

1:24:57 Caller You need to be wearing condoms all the time.

1:24:59 Caller Yeah.

1:24:59 Jimmy Kimmel And they're not necessarily forever because there is evidence these warts kind of die off by themselves.

1:25:05 Caller Right. Because last time I checked or they checked, they said that there weren't any because they burned them off or whatever.

1:25:10 Jimmy Kimmel Well, but the virus may still be present, and certainly the virus is present in the anus area, so it would just kind of be safe.

1:25:16 Adam I'll tell you, if I had warts burned off my anus, I would want more than a local anesthetic. I would want to be a...

1:25:25 Drew A national anesthetic.

1:25:26 Adam I would just like my family to be out, too. All my loved ones and friends, everyone would go under. I want it to be like just a black day. It would not be recorded. The next day, the paper would just have the following day. It would not, that day would be...

1:25:43 Drew A day of numbness and sorrow.

1:25:45 Caller Right.

1:25:46 Caller Yes.

1:25:48 Adam Oh my God.

1:25:50 Jimmy Kimmel All right, gonna break.

1:25:50 Adam And a little poof of smoke that comes up.

1:25:53 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, it's beautiful.

1:25:54 Adam Although that would be kind of interesting.

1:25:55 Drew Yeah. There's got to be some good to it. There's got to be some good about it.

1:25:59 Jimmy Kimmel What?

1:26:00 Drew I don't know. It's like the Carolla gum. There's got to be a certain amount of satisfaction that goes into destroying them. I like the idea of destroying things that are bad in any situation.

1:26:09 Adam Right. Maybe we could work out some sort of plan where we let nutria eat the warts that were in the anuses and sort of find a good cause for them.

1:26:18 Drew Good times.

1:26:18 Caller Good times.

1:26:20 Adam All right. We'll take a break. Jimmy Kimmel here from The Man Show Sunday Night, Comedy Central 10 o'clock, and we'll be right back. Yep. We are back with more Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Jimmy Kimmel is our guest tonight. Of course, you know his stellar work from The Man Show, Comedy Central 10 o'clock Sunday nights. Find out what all the buzz is about. Not buzz created by Comedy Central. I've not seen one goddamn billboard for our show.

1:26:51 Jimmy Kimmel Another show for you that's not advertised. Adam, every show you're involved with does not get any promotion.

1:26:55 Adam What do you mean? MTV? Oh, you're right. They did nothing for us. No, nothing for this show.

1:27:00 Jimmy Kimmel The Man Show?

1:27:02 Adam In the past, we have had a billboard or a bus stopper too, but if you notice, Comedy Central will get behind a show or two.

1:27:11 Drew Briefly.

1:27:12 Adam Briefly. They'll have a run, you'll see That's My Bush, and you'll see full-size billboards and Glick and all that kind of stuff, but you don't see a whole lot of the Man Show. But that's all right, because it's a show that sells itself.

1:27:26 Caller That's right, that's right.

1:27:28 Adam And me mentioning it 140 times a night on the way. Annette? Oh, wait a minute, I got to push a button. Annette, you're 31.

1:27:37 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew, Adam Corolla, how are you doing?

1:27:39 Adam Good.

1:27:40 Caller Um, Mr. Cremwell, I love this show, it's beautiful, so.

1:27:45 Drew Thank you. Mrs. Cremwell, thanks for watching.

1:27:47 Caller I hope you're having a nice evening.

1:27:49 Drew We are.

1:27:49 Adam Are you drunk or are you Asian or what are you?

1:27:53 Caller No, I'm a clean, pure human being. But my question is for Dr. Drew. Yeah. Dr. Drew, I want to be a substance abuse counselor. Okay, I want to know where you recommend the best place to get training and education.

1:28:06 Drew Let me take this Drew Disneyland actually.

1:28:09 Jimmy Kimmel Well, Annet, are you a recovering person?

1:28:11 Caller Am I? No, I'm not. I just want to help.

1:28:14 Jimmy Kimmel You want to be a KDAC or what kind of degree do you want?

1:28:18 Caller Just a certificate program or some aid degree, something like that.

1:28:23 Jimmy Kimmel Well, you're calling from Glendale, California?

1:28:25 Caller Yes.

1:28:25 Jimmy Kimmel All right, you can check out Glendale College. They've got a good program. Okay?

1:28:28 Adam Annet.

1:28:28 Jimmy Kimmel Glendale Community College.

1:28:29 Adam I'm still not done with your nationality.

1:28:32 Caller I'm Persian-Armenian.

1:28:33 Adam Okay, because you had something going on. I thought it could have been gender reassignment for a second, but it just turns out Armenian.

1:28:41 Caller Okay. Also, Dr. Drew, real quick. Yeah. What's the most addictive drug that adults are using right now?

1:28:47 Adam Skittles.

1:28:48 Jimmy Kimmel Well, the drug that causes the worst addictive disease is heroin. But the one that becomes most rapidly addictive is actually cocaine.

1:28:56 Caller What about alcohol?

1:28:58 Jimmy Kimmel What about it?

1:28:58 Adam Hey, Annette?

1:29:00 Caller Yeah.

1:29:00 Adam You think he's going to give you a degree tonight? Go to the goddamn college and find out all this stuff, would you?

1:29:07 Caller What about alcohol?

1:29:09 Drew Yeah, have some.

1:29:10 Adam She's going to be a delight.

1:29:13 Drew People are going to go on drugs, Annette.

1:29:16 Adam She's going to have the, it's going to be like the only alcoholic meeting where people are actually nipping from flasks halfway into her speech.

1:29:24 Jimmy Kimmel Pass them around.

1:29:25 Adam Pass around a bottle of gutter standing over a trash can in Chicago.

1:29:30 Caller Yeah.

1:29:30 Adam You're 25?

1:29:31 Caller Yeah. I had a question. I noticed the other day that my husband has a yellow tint to his sperm. I'm wondering if that's normal.

1:29:41 Jimmy Kimmel Can be. It can be infectious.

1:29:42 Drew Is it Charney's?

1:29:43 Jimmy Kimmel It can be blood. It can be blood, but it doesn't have to be anything if it's not having any other symptoms.

1:29:48 Drew I had blood in my sperm recently.

1:29:50 Jimmy Kimmel Recently?

1:29:51 Drew You know what I've found?

1:29:51 Jimmy Kimmel These damn masturbating habits you guys have.

1:29:53 Drew With the yellow sperm, if I'll wait, like, you know.

1:29:57 Jimmy Kimmel It's powered like it goes back in.

1:29:58 Drew What?

1:29:59 Jimmy Kimmel Nothing.

1:30:00 Drew If I wait, I mean, it doesn't happen much, but if I were having a masturbator for a week or something like that, it tends to have a little bit more yellow.

1:30:09 Jimmy Kimmel Yes, that's true. That's true.

1:30:10 Drew Maybe he's not masturbating that much.

1:30:12 Jimmy Kimmel And more lumpy too sometimes.

1:30:13 Adam I, true story, took a spill on a moped when I was 19. I whacked my head. I was in a coma for a week and I only jacked off twice. I remember Ray telling me it came out yellow.

1:30:28 Drew Like country croc margarine.

1:30:30 Caller Right.

1:30:31 Adam All right. You'll be fine there, Carrie.

1:30:34 Jimmy Kimmel If he has no other symptoms, he's otherwise okay. I wouldn't worry about it.

1:30:37 Adam Okay.

1:30:38 Jimmy Kimmel But you could mention to his doctor.

1:30:40 Adam Yeah, it's strange. Jimmy had some blood in his semen.

1:30:44 Drew A good deal of it.

1:30:45 Caller A good deal of it.

1:30:46 Jimmy Kimmel Wow.

1:30:46 Drew I even laid off masturbating for a couple of days.

1:30:48 Jimmy Kimmel That's what I'm saying, guys.

1:30:50 Drew But I looked it up on the Internet. You doctors have become obsolete. I looked it up on the Internet and it said, it could be something, but you should look at it the same way you look at there's blood in your snot or something like that.

1:31:02 Jimmy Kimmel That's right.

1:31:03 Drew See, the Internet. There you go. I called Adam, too, and he diagnosed me as fine.

1:31:08 Jimmy Kimmel He brought it up in here on the Internet. He did?

1:31:09 Drew Oh, great.

1:31:10 Jimmy Kimmel What do you think he's not going to bring it up?

1:31:13 Drew I didn't even tell my wife.

1:31:15 Adam I could just see me eulogizing Jimmy going, well, first he got the incredible migraines with the masturbation. We laughed that off. Then blood came out of his semen. Who knew he was going to be struck by lightning? What a way to go. I guess we, you know, hindsight being 2020, I guess we should have paid attention to some of the earlier signs. But what can you do now?

1:31:38 Drew I can't tell my wife any of these things because she will seize any perceived problem as a reason not to have sex with me. That's not her fault. Oh, no, we can't. You've got to, you know, become a whole deal.

1:31:49 Adam Right. Yeah. You'll you'll give her some blood borne disease. All right. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be right back.

1:31:56 Caller Hello, this is your radio radio.

1:31:58 Drew Loveline will be right back.

1:32:05 Adam All right. Well, fellas, that is it. I want to remind everyone to support our and I think of Jimmy's a friend of the show. And as you know, we want to support our friends. So I'll tell you one more time. Comedy Central, The Man Show. Sunday Nights at 10 o'clock.

1:32:20 Drew Well, you know, you guys are terrific and you're a terrific team. And I mean, I really think this is going places. I'd like to see the two of you put this show on television.

1:32:29 Adam Well, we have talked about it. We're looking for the right.

1:32:32 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know if that'll work.

1:32:33 Drew The right venue.

1:32:34 Adam Yeah. Well, we'll discuss it.

1:32:36 Jimmy Kimmel But I'll be chatting tomorrow at 5 o'clock at dr.drew.com 5 p.m. Pacific time. Naked, the sex chat room.

1:32:42 Adam I'll be chatting to a stewardess to freshen up my Bloody Mary tomorrow at 5 o'clock, we're going to Cincinnati to play golf.

1:32:50 Drew Yeah, Chris Collinsworth has a charity golf tournament.

1:32:53 Adam And as I told the guy at the Pro Shop yesterday, we've conquered all the courses that are in California and we're looking for a challenge. I want to thank Tara, don't call me, no, Tara, don't call me Tara, god damn it, for doing a great job on the phones all week and Damian for doing allegedly a good job on the phones. At least that's what he claims. I want to thank producer Anne even though I'm not sure where she is and of course Anderson whose magic is done on a nightly basis behind the boards and of course Lauren for bringing her dog in here and bugging the guests. So until next time, Anne Pan Pan, the biggest pain pain I've ever met.

1:33:35 Drew In the ass ass.

1:33:36 Adam In the ass ass. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:33:41 Jimmy Kimmel I really don't know what you see in Jimmy. He's like hairy and fat.

1:33:46 Drew How dare you?

1:33:48 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, July 12, 2001