Episode 1000754887010

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We don't get any faxes.

1:23 Drew 310-854-4455.

1:26 Adam There's no paper in the fax machine. Am I right, Anderson? And it's been that way for several months now. They don't make that paper. Thank you. Are you serious?

1:35 No.

1:37 Adam Yes, he's very serious.

1:38 Drew No wonder. At least they have an excuse.

1:40 Adam They don't make that tractor paper anymore that the Westwood II fax machine uses? Interesting. Boy, I'll tell you, you know, it never gets old making fun of the dump known as Westwood II and the antiquated technology here.

1:55 Drew Just because the technological instruments are so old, they don't make paper.

1:58 Adam They stop making the goddamn paper for the fax machine that they have here. Oh, that's what I love about this dump. But one thing that does bring me joy is Ron Lester, who is our guest tonight. Ron, you know, from Popular WB Friday Nights. Ron, probably a lot of you know from Varsity Blues, played Bubba.

2:22 Ron Lester Billy Bob.

2:22 Adam Well, I called him Bubba because I don't know what the F I'm talking about. But Ron is a guy that we met a few years ago, and he's really one of the most likeable guys you're ever going to want to meet. He was struggling with his weight on and off his whole career, and finally is sliding down the skinny side of the mountain.

2:46 Ron Lester Hell yeah. 165 pounds, man.

2:49 Adam That's what he lost.

2:50 Drew That's what I've lost. Ron Jr. Just lost the person.

2:54 Ron Lester I lost it. I did.

2:55 Adam What were you at your peak?

2:58 Ron Lester My birthday party in August. I was 500.

3:01 Adam Really? Even five?

3:03 Ron Lester Well, probably. That was nice. That was being nice about it.

3:08 Adam Could have been 515, 520.

3:10 Ron Lester I'd say 557 max.

3:12 Adam And how tall are you?

3:15 Ron Lester 511.

3:16 Adam So that's a big dude.

3:19 Ron Lester That was huge.

3:20 Adam I mean, you're a big bone guy anyway.

3:22 Ron Lester Dude, I had to buy the Expedition because in fact it was the only car I could fit in. You know, and I just I thought Drew while ago we pulled up the bar. I said, dude, you understand, I just got in driving an SLK Mercedes compressor. You know, it's like the smallest convertible car you can get in. You know, I'm like one I can fit in this without butter.

3:39 Adam Right. You know, the thing as I was thinking about, because Ron is really excited. I mean, Ron had some surgery. Ron has been doing his diet. I guess Ron has been eating and exercising, right? And all that kind of stuff. And he's lost a ton of weight and he's been reborn.

3:54 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

3:55 Adam You know what I mean? I mean, look at Ron's enthusiasm for life. Yeah. He gets to go clothes shopping. It's a big deal.

4:02 Drew He gets to breathe. It's a big deal.

4:03 Adam He gets to breathe. It's a big deal.

4:04 Ron Lester Hey, you want to find out clothes cost less when they're smaller.

4:06 Adam Yeah. Less material and less Indonesian workers. Yeah. Go to work on those things. Also, but, you know, women gets to have sex with women now.

4:21 Ron Lester No, actually, actually.

4:23 Adam One, one women.

4:24 Ron Lester No. Two chicks in the same bed. Dude, that's like from the old.

4:30 Adam That's the old Ron.

4:31 Ron Lester That's the old Ron.

4:33 Drew That was the party lost on the.

4:36 Ron Lester The old me died.

4:37 Adam That's right.

4:38 Ron Lester You know.

4:39 Adam So you got a girlfriend now?

4:40 Ron Lester I got a girlfriend and it's at the level that I love her so much that we don't talk about our personal life.

4:48 Adam Nice.

4:49 Drew With each other.

4:50 Adam Right.

4:51 They have no conversation.

4:52 Drew It's nice.

4:54 It's like being married.

4:55 Drew That's the relationship you should have, Adam. We don't talk about anything.

4:58 Adam Nope. All right. So anything other than popular you want to plug tonight?

5:03 Ron Lester Yeah. I just finished doing a couple movies, actually. I played John Voight's son in a new movie called Unleashed. Just wrapped that up. And another movie for Columbia called Not A Teen Movie, which is like a spoof, like, you know, scary movie-wise.

5:20 Drew Same brand, same people?

5:21 Ron Lester Not same people, but same style movie. And the best part is, is that it was so weird because it was me being me, and having the job like Varsity Blues that basically put me on the totem pole and launched my career and stuff. It was so ironic because I actually weighed less than I did when I did Varsity Blues.

5:42 Drew Yeah.

5:43 Ron Lester Okay. Varsity Blues, I was actually like four, I say I was about 420, 430.

5:47 Adam Right.

5:50 Ron Lester And this role came around named Reggie Ray, who is Billy Bob. It was this spoof character, number 69, pet pig, the whole deal. Right. And I saw it as a chance for me to say goodbye to the character that I had that got me there. Because now I'm on, I'm hoping this is like my last fad guy role, you know? I mean, I estimate the way I'm dropping weight and the way I'm going right now, I'll probably be about 210 to 220 within the year. Wow. A year, I should say. Wow. The thing is, is that, like, Drew Carey, Drew Carey's like what, like 210, 200? OK, he's still considered the fat guy. So it's not like I'm going to lose the roles. I'll just live long enough to enjoy them.

6:36 Adam Spend your fat guy role money.

6:37 Ron Lester You know what I'm saying, baby? It's a fat role for the fat guy.

6:40 Adam Yeah. At 5'11, you could be 245 and still clean up in the fat guy role department.

6:47 Ron Lester Dude, I'll be 210 and clean up in the fat guy department.

6:50 Adam You know, I was thinking, I was thinking the other night about Ron, and I was thinking, you know, for a guy, 400, 500 pounds, not bad looking guy. I thought about what I look like. I weigh 185.

7:01 Drew 10 pounds heavier? You're disgusting.

7:02 Adam I'm at 200. I look, you might put a bull at me.

7:05 Ron Lester I don't know if I can tell. You're a pretty sexy guy. I don't mean that.

7:08 Ron, easy, easy.

7:10 Drew This new Ron is a scary man.

7:12 Adam I would not make a good fat man. No. You know what I would be?

7:15 Drew Oh my God. Oh, the humanity. Imagine that. No, we'd all be sort of...

7:18 Ron Lester This would be Adam coming out of the bathroom.

7:20 I can't wipe my ass.

7:22 Ron Lester Come help me.

7:24 Drew The ass factor would be, think about that, think about that.

7:27 Adam I would be all ass and chin, and I already have difficulty with sweating. I had 185 pounds, I sweat like a 300 pound Black Baptist minister.

7:38 You know what I mean?

7:40 Adam Imagine me 300, 400 pounds of sweat to be coming off of me.

7:43 You and the shag carpet there, imagine 300, 400 pounds of that.

7:46 Adam You talking about the ass hair? Yeah, but that wouldn't increase. That would thin out as it got whiter.

7:51 Drew Not necessarily.

7:51 That's not really the way it works.

7:52 Adam That's not the way it works?

7:54 Drew I'd still be trying to find Santa Claus' mouth. Would it?

7:56 Adam Would it really? Would it really? You think more hair would grow?

8:00 Drew There's more folds and stuff? I think about it.

8:02 Adam All right, shut up, Drew. I can't dare you as a doctor attack my physical being. Tammy?

8:09 Yeah?

8:10 Adam You're 28?

8:11 Caller Yeah, I just want to say I love you guys.

8:13 You're great.

8:14 But Adam, you sound a little stressed out.

8:16 Drew Yeah, listen to him tonight.

8:18 Just the past couple nights.

8:19 Caller Do you need to talk?

8:21 Something bothering you?

8:22 Adam No.

8:22 Drew Have you been going to, you have not been going to your therapist, have you?

8:25 Adam My God. When did this turn into an, is this an intervention or a roast? Which is it? Come get the money, Adam.

8:32 Drew Ms. Corolla, please come on in here.

8:33 Adam Please. How dare you?

8:35 Drew Hello, this is your pops Corolla.

8:36 Adam Jesus Christ.

8:38 Drew Look, you have not been seeing your therapist.

8:40 Adam First off, it's how much hair would be on my ass if I was 400 pounds? That's just straight to the therapist.

8:45 Ron Lester I got to tell you something. Did I tell y'all this last time? I had a new theory for farts.

8:50 Adam Good. This is what I want to hear.

8:51 Ron Lester No, I'm serious. A new theory. Because think about this. Okay, I realized when I was huge.

8:57 Adam Right.

8:58 Ron Lester Okay, and I could barely fit in those plane seats. By the way, God, I love airlines now. I can buckle the belt and all that stuff and actually use that little closet they call the bathroom. But you sit there, man, and you could fart on a plane, and it doesn't go anywhere. It just stays right there. If you're that big. Well, I mean, just because the air is compressed. But the thing is, because you're bigger, that air has to escape, right? So it's got to build momentum, get through those cheeks, and that's why it sounds so damn loud. When some big person, the bigger the person, the louder the fart.

9:30 Adam Well, everything that comes out of a big guy is loud. Snoring is loud on a big guy.

9:35 Caller No, I know, but the trans-abdominal pressure, the pressure puts it...

9:39 Ron Lester But my theory is, and this is my proof, this is my proof, if you think about a cat, a cat has no ass, you never hear a cat fart. It's always... Because there's nothing to go against.

9:49 Adam Right, oh, it's got no cheek.

9:51 Ron Lester See?

9:51 Adam No cheek.

9:53 Drew Okay, listen, Tammy, if I didn't get that out, it's gonna hurt. What are we gonna do with Adam here?

9:56 Caller I don't know, I don't know.

9:58 He need to take a big, huge, chill pill, I think.

10:00 Drew He needs to see a therapist.

10:01 Yeah.

10:01 Drew He does need to see a therapist. He's been like three months. Two months, two months.

10:04 Ron Lester Are you crying?

10:05 Am I crying?

10:05 Ron Lester No. Adam's...

10:07 Oh, Adam, are you crying?

10:08 Adam Yeah, that hurt.

10:09 Oh, no.

10:11 Adam I got a pill for you, honey. It's five and a half inches and it smells funny.

10:15 Caller Only five?

10:16 Adam Okay. Maybe six.

10:18 Ron Lester How many like a tuna can?

10:18 Adam Six.

10:20 Caller All right. Well, you guys have a nice night. Okay, bye.

10:22 Adam God bless you. Jesus, Drew, do we have to start with that call?

10:26 Drew Chill pill.

10:26 Adam Andy? Yeah. You're 28? Yeah. What's up?

10:30 Caller Hey, thanks for taking my call. Hey, guys, I'm married. I'm 28 years old, and I have an erection all the time. I mean, not all the time, but, like, in the middle of the day, I'll get an erection for no reason at all.

10:48 Drew Have you always had this problem?

10:50 Caller You know, I think I have. I mean, when I look back, I think, you know, I remember it in high school.

10:55 Drew I remember... Why are you suddenly noticing it now?

10:57 Caller Well, I'm not suddenly noticing it. I just think it's kind of weird, you know?

11:01 Adam Well, he figured he'd grow out of it, and he hasn't grown out of it.

11:04 Drew Is that it?

11:05 Caller Well, I mean, yeah, and I mean, I'm married, and sometimes it's just... It's embarrassing.

11:10 Drew How often are you with your wife?

11:12 Caller You mean sexually?

11:13 Drew Yeah.

11:14 Caller Oh, I mean, you know, three times a week, probably. Maybe three times a week.

11:17 Adam Well, why is it embarrassing? Do people notice?

11:19 Caller Oh, I mean, it'll be... Yeah, people have noticed before. It'll be in a restaurant or something, or I'll be, you know...

11:25 Drew Wait a minute. You're sitting down in a restaurant?

11:29 Adam What are you wearing? What are you, John Holmes?

11:33 Drew A dress?

11:33 Adam A graduation robe or something?

11:35 Caller No, no. I mean, I'm not sitting down at a restaurant, but like, you know, when we get up to leave a restaurant or something, people actually have noticed it before.

11:47 Drew What did they say to you?

11:48 Caller Well, actually, this was just about a week ago. I was out to eat with my wife and another couple friend of ours, and we were pretty close. I stood up from the table, and it was obvious that I had an erection. They just sort of laughed at it. And this buddy of mine thought it was pretty funny, you know, and pointed out to his wife. And it just made me feel stupid.

12:10 Drew Are you on a medication?

12:12 Caller No. I mean, these are like allergy medicine or that.

12:16 Caller Like what?

12:17 Allegra.

12:19 Adam You got to wear jeans, right? Do you wear jeans?

12:22 Caller I do wear jeans from time to time.

12:23 Adam You have to wear jeans all the time. And let me tell you how to kill a boner.

12:26 Caller All right? I've got every... I know. I know how to kill a boner.

12:31 Adam How do you do it?

12:32 Caller Pinch the top of it.

12:34 Caller Really?

12:35 Drew How do you do that if you're out in a restaurant, though?

12:37 Adam How do you pinch the top of it?

12:38 Caller I mean, if I'm under the table, yeah.

12:40 Adam Really? That does it?

12:41 Drew This is back to that.

12:43 Adam Now, take it out and slide it up against your belly. That slows it down.

12:47 Caller I'm pretty big. And, you know, ever since I was a kid, I've always dressed down, you know?

12:55 Adam What do you mean, dressed down?

12:57 Ron Lester Sweats and T-shirts, things like that.

13:00 Adam What does that have to do with being big? I mean, big in your size, your stature, your penis?

13:04 Caller My penis.

13:05 I'm a big boy.

13:07 Drew This is back to our Sunday night show. Genital, genital, what was it? Mutilation, genital.

13:12 Adam Hold on a second. Wait a minute. I'm getting the show back on track. You're a large fella.

13:17 Drew No.

13:17 Adam No, you're a medium-sized fella with a large penis. Right. But what does dressing down have to do with dressing down? I'm a big boy. Dressing down have to do with this. Dressing down meaning your penis face down?

13:28 Hold on.

13:30 Adam Because Drew...

13:31 Drew Thanks for getting control of the show, Adam.

13:32 Adam Thanks. Taylor will ask you how you dress.

13:34 Drew Which way do you dress?

13:36 Adam Which means what side of your pants does your penis go on?

13:39 Drew You don't dress... It's all... I don't know any of the dresses up. How exactly would you do that?

13:43 Adam I don't think he meant that dress.

13:45 Drew He means dressing less formally.

13:48 Adam Right. Andy?

13:51 Caller No, I don't mean dressing less formal, as opposed to formal. No, I mean my penis is generally to the right.

14:00 Drew Okay.

14:00 Adam Yeah, but you said down.

14:02 Caller Yeah. In college, everyone said that I was the only guy in college with camel toe.

14:07 Adam Hold on. Andy, I still got to get to the bottom of this. When you said you dress down, what did you mean by that?

14:14 Caller I mean like my penis sometimes, I wear it actually between my legs.

14:19 Adam Between your legs.

14:21 Ron Lester Oh, God.

14:22 Adam Tucked between your legs.

14:24 Caller Yeah.

14:25 Adam So you have a large penis, you get erections all the time, and when you stand up, you knock things off the Denny's table. That's basically what happens. All right. Well, listen, wear jeans, think about Vietnam, and I'm telling you, take that penis and slide it up against your belly, get it going the other direction.

14:42 Drew You might lose the erection. It might come out the top of the pants.

14:45 Adam Well, it's a risk we'll have to take.

14:47 Ron Lester It should be. You like a tie.

14:48 Adam I really don't know what his question was exactly.

14:51 Drew That was the I've got a big penis call.

14:53 Adam It was. Yeah, that's what that was.

14:54 Ron Lester That was the ego builder.

14:55 Adam Yeah. And by the way, I dress down. I want to strangle these callers. Jake?

15:03 Yo.

15:03 Adam You're 24. What's up?

15:05 Caller Ron, Adam, Drew. Okay, my question. My sister, she works as a physical therapist assistant in a hospital in Toronto. I found out the other night that she contracted hepatitis C. Okay. What is, I just want to know, what's that going to mean?

15:27 Drew Well, it means she needs to be treated for it if it becomes chronic, which it does more than half the time.

15:32 Adam Shouldn't she have been vaccinated for that?

15:34 Drew No, there's no vaccine for hepatitis C.

15:35 Adam Oh, there isn't for that one?

15:36 Drew Not for C, no.

15:36 Adam What is there, A and B?

15:37 Drew B.

15:38 Adam What's the difference between those?

15:40 Drew They're just different viruses and they cause different illnesses. C is one of the ones that's most common to cause chronic hepatitis.

15:47 Caller Does she need a special diet?

15:48 Drew No, she'll need to take something called interferon and probably some ribavirin with that. Need to take that for about six months or so and it has about a 50% chance of curing it. The damage caused to the liver is actually caused by the persistent infection of the virus. Unlike hepatitis B, where it's sort of an immune reaction caused by the virus, the hepatitis C virus continues to do its damage in the liver and it's got to be eradicated. It can be eradicated these days, so it's something that should be, has a good chance of being curable.

16:13 Adam Wait, is there an A?

16:15 Caller There's an A, a B, a C and a D and an E, actually.

16:17 Drew Well, there's all kinds. There's sort of non-A, non-B and that's a grab bag of other stuff.

16:22 Adam Vaccination for B and not for A?

16:25 Drew Yes, A and B.

16:26 Adam All right.

16:27 Caller Okay, and if she has, I heard she has it for her whole life, possibly.

16:32 Drew Better than, most likely. Yeah, better than 50% chance of that.

16:36 Caller And if she has children, will she pass it on through the dam?

16:40 Drew I don't know, but that's called the vertical transmission. I don't think it's transmitted that well. Hold on a second.

16:45 Adam Ron's driving me nuts. Ron, what are you doing with my?

16:47 Ron Lester Dude, it's on your sleeve. It's driving me nuts.

16:49 Adam What's on my sleeve?

16:50 Ron Lester You got a price tag, man.

16:52 Adam Jesus Christ.

16:53 Drew He's only been wearing that coat for three months, Ron.

16:58 Ron Lester Emotion, too.

16:59 Adam I'm trying to be quiet over here, and he keeps pointing at my wrist. I didn't know what he wanted.

17:02 Drew I'm talking to my caller again, please.

17:03 Adam You told him what you needed to tell him. It's about his sister.

17:07 Drew All right. The point is she needs to get...

17:08 Adam She's a health care person.

17:09 Drew She needs to figure it out. She needs to get treatment as a good chance of cure.

17:16 Adam Taya?

17:17 Hi.

17:18 Adam Hey, you're 14. What's up?

17:20 Caller I just wanted to tell Ron that I'm in love with you, and you're so cute.

17:24 Adam Thanks.

17:25 Caller I cannot believe I'm on the radio.

17:27 Adam You watch Popular?

17:28 Caller Yeah, I watch it every Friday.

17:30 Adam Good times.

17:31 Caller Yeah, I love you, Ron, and I want to meet you so bad, and oh my gosh.

17:36 Caller Well, I love you.

17:38 Caller I love you so much.

17:39 Ron Lester I'm glad you got to talk to me.

17:40 Caller I know. I'm so happy.

17:42 Drew Hi, I make the trek down here every night from where you are. Why don't you come down and meet Ron?

17:46 Adam You're out in Pasadena?

17:47 Caller Oh my gosh, yes.

17:48 Adam Yeah, but how are you going to get down here, 14?

17:51 Ron Lester Are you still doing your show?

17:53 Caller What?

17:53 Drew What show? This one?

17:54 Ron Lester The website thing.

17:55 Drew Oh, no, not doing those now.

17:56 Ron Lester Oh, I knew that. I never got my Drew condoms, by the way. I'm very upset about that.

18:00 Drew Really? Yeah.

18:01 Adam All right, hold on. We're all over the map tonight. Taya?

18:04 Caller Yeah?

18:06 Adam Ron loves you. If you can get here from Pasadena before 12 o'clock, Ron will meet you. Give you a kiss on the hand.

18:15 Caller Oh my gosh.

18:17 Ron Lester I'll give her a kiss on the cheek.

18:18 Adam Okay.

18:19 Caller Oh my gosh, I love you, Ron.

18:20 Ron Lester I love you.

18:21 Drew Where in Pasadena do you live?

18:23 Caller I don't know.

18:24 Ron Lester You don't?

18:25 Drew Approximately where do you live?

18:27 Caller What?

18:27 Drew Approximately where in Pasadena do you live? You.

18:31 Caller I don't know.

18:32 Drew You don't know where you live?

18:33 Adam Okay. She's either full of cramp or she doesn't want to say. It's not that she doesn't know where she lives.

18:40 Drew I'm just intrigued by that answer. I got to know what she meant.

18:43 Adam All right.

18:46 Drew Where? Hill and what?

18:47 Caller Hill and Mountain.

18:48 Drew All right. Come on down. Get on the 134 there and cruise out.

18:51 Caller Okay.

18:52 Ron Lester We'll wait here if you want to.

18:53 Caller All right.

18:54 Cool.

18:54 Caller Oh my gosh.

18:55 I love you.

18:56 Ron Lester I'll be here.

18:56 Adam All right, Taya.

18:57 Bye.

18:57 Adam Good times, baby. She'll never get here. Liz? She's 14. How is she going to get here?

19:03 Caller Mom!

19:05 Adam Liz, you're 17. What's up?

19:07 Caller Hi. I wanted to ask because I was on the pole before, but it didn't, I don't know, I just didn't like it because I think I was gaining weight.

19:15 Drew Which pill?

19:16 Caller Orthotrysaccharine.

19:17 Drew Okay.

19:18 Caller So I wanted to see, I wanted to like know if the deprivation, if it actually works as well.

19:25 Drew Yes, it does. Just as effective.

19:28 Caller So there's like no difference between them?

19:29 Drew Yeah, there's a lot of difference. There are different terms of side effect profile and difference in that you only have to take a shot every three months and it's very effective.

19:36 Adam What about efficacy?

19:37 Drew Efficacy, there's no difference with efficacy.

19:39 Adam Exactly the same.

19:39 Drew Exactly the same. And the?

19:41 Caller Different side effect.

19:43 Drew Well, it's different in different people. And the deporivara, the main thing people complain about is uterine bleeding. You get a lot of menstrual bleeding goes on for like three months. And then the next time you take the shot, you get like no bleeding from then on.

19:55 Adam Well, that's good.

19:55 Drew People complain about irritability, depression, decreased sex drive, headaches.

19:59 Adam That's being a woman.

20:01 Drew It is hard to distinguish it from a placebo, but it is.

20:03 Adam Yeah, you really don't know with women. All bets are off. Liz, how about you? You have a boyfriend?

20:09 Caller Yeah.

20:10 Adam I just belched up some garlic.

20:11 Caller Oh my God. Jesus, dude.

20:14 Adam Oh, please.

20:15 Caller Oh, I mean, that's a foul.

20:19 Ron Lester I stopped it. I didn't get the K out.

20:22 Adam Stopped the theatrics, you two. I just made some fresh garlic tonight.

20:27 Caller Yeah, you did.

20:28 Ron Lester It's still growing.

20:30 Adam Hey, Liz. You're lucky not in here.

20:32 Drew Indeed.

20:33 Adam I just hacked up some garlic. All right. So you got a boyfriend?

20:37 Yes.

20:38 Adam And you're having regular sex. You want to be protected.

20:41 Right.

20:42 Adam Very good. So get that depot shot.

20:45 Caller OK. And actually, since I got through to you guys, I actually had another question that I tried to call.

20:50 Drew Very quick. What's up? What's up?

20:53 Caller One time he actually started bleeding from the tip of his penis.

20:58 Adam Yeah.

20:58 Caller And he said that it just like the spin got pulled back and that I guess it just made a scratch. But I didn't think that was like...

21:06 Adam Yeah. What do you think?

21:07 Caller I told him to get checked out. But he goes, Oh, it was nothing. He just made it into like nothing.

21:12 Drew Well, it may have been nothing. Was he uncircumcised?

21:15 Caller Yeah, he's not.

21:15 Drew Yeah, uncircumcised guys tear him up a little bit sometimes. I don't think she knew where the blood was coming from. So maybe the...

21:21 Caller He was a little bit uncomfortable talking with me.

21:23 Drew So maybe the skin over the head of the penis tear a little bit.

21:27 Adam Yeah.

21:27 Drew That happens.

21:28 Adam It's not a venereal disease or anything.

21:30 Caller Okay, so it's fine?

21:31 Adam Yeah. I mean, you may have A's, but ehh.

21:34 Ron Lester That would be pain.

21:35 Caller In fact, he was a virgin. I don't think so.

21:37 Adam All right. Well, some guys are born with it, but ehh. No, you're fine, baby.

21:42 Caller You're making me feel so...

21:43 Adam No, baby. I'm just kidding. I just want you to join my painful world.

21:47 Drew Thank God you're taking contraception. That's all.

21:49 Caller All right.

21:51 Adam He's fine. Good luck to you and his penis and your vagina. May you live happily ever after as one.

21:59 Caller Thanks.

21:59 Adam All right, baby.

22:00 Caller Bye-bye.

22:01 Adam Take care of yourself. All right, we will take ourselves a little break. Ron Lester is our guest tonight from Popular. I also got a few movies coming out. We'll talk to him about that and talk to you about your ass after this.

22:16 Hi, this is Nav Campbell and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

22:21 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, here we are back with a little more Love Line. Ron Lester is our guest tonight from popular WB Friday Nights, 9 o'clock. And Ron's got himself a picture of him and his beautiful girlfriend. Oh, that's nice.

22:40 Ron Lester Bethany.

22:40 Adam Where did you meet her?

22:43 Ron Lester I met her at the Palace.

22:45 Adam Oh, really?

22:45 Ron Lester The 18 Up Club.

22:46 Adam Yeah. Did she recognize you? She knew who you were? No, she knew nothing.

22:51 Drew Was she over 18?

22:52 Ron Lester Yeah, she's 20.

22:52 Drew Oh, okay.

22:53 Ron Lester She's 20.

22:54 Adam Oh, she had to know who you are.

22:55 Ron Lester No, she didn't. Her roommate, Rachel, was going nuts, and they were at the club, and they saw me.

23:01 Adam Or her roommate knew who you were?

23:02 Ron Lester Yeah, her roommate knew who I was.

23:03 Adam Even better.

23:04 Ron Lester But she didn't know, and she was at Chattanooga University, and she was taking broadcast journalism down there. I met her, and I looked right in her eyes, and that was it, dude.

23:16 Adam It was love, huh?

23:17 Ron Lester Totally.

23:17 Adam That's nice. How long have you been together?

23:20 Ron Lester I met her on the first weekend of February.

23:22 Adam Now, you got a lot of love to give. I guess, and you had some love saved up?

23:26 Ron Lester Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I've had like the nasty girlfriends and the bad relationships and stuff like that, but I've never had anybody I want to cater to before, and this girl definitely is... I definitely see some kind of future.

23:39 Adam What's the most romantic thing you've done so far?

23:43 Ron Lester Get two chicks in the same room. Oh, yeah.

23:47 Adam Two chicks. Nice.

23:48 Ron Lester Dude, quit playing that. No, with her, actually, our first official date was Valentine's, and she lives down in Orange at Chattanooga University. I've never been down to Orange before, so I had no idea how far. Where are you from? I live in Tarzana.

24:05 Drew But where are you from originally?

24:06 Caller From Georgia.

24:07 Ron Lester So I had no idea where Orange was, right?

24:10 Drew So I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, I'll pick you up at 7.

24:14 Ron Lester Dude, I left my house at like 5.30. Dude, three hours later, I'm picking her up. I'm like, stress. I was like, if I had a gun, I would have shot somebody. I got in the carpool lane by myself, dude. To get halfway down there.

24:26 Adam Well, hold on though.

24:26 Drew You drove during rush hour, yeah.

24:28 Adam At 450 pounds, I think they'll let you in the diamond lane.

24:31 What?

24:32 Adam It's a mass thing. It's not bodies. They don't count fingers. They go by combined weight.

24:39 Ron Lester So, we were down here and I picked her up. As soon as I saw her, everything was just made right. And I took her to, because I know the staff and the management up at Yamashiro's.

24:49 Adam TGI Fridays?

24:49 Ron Lester No, Yamashiro's. So, she studies Japanese. So, I figured it would be a good place to take her there.

24:55 Adam Hold on. So, Yamashiro's up here in Hollywood? Yeah.

25:00 Ron Lester From Orange, back to Yamashiro's, baby.

25:03 Adam And then back to Orange?

25:04 Ron Lester Nope. Then we went back to my house and...

25:07 Adam Nice.

25:07 Ron Lester No, no.

25:08 Adam Smart.

25:08 Ron Lester No.

25:09 Adam Smart.

25:09 Ron Lester I was...

25:10 Drew Just marooned up here.

25:11 Adam Yeah. Had a little too much shock. Can't make it back to Orange.

25:15 Ron Lester No, it was the... We were having those zombies.

25:18 Adam Right.

25:18 Caller Woo!

25:19 Ron Lester No, but...

25:20 Adam Then back to your pad.

25:21 Ron Lester Went back to my place and on the way back, I called my roommate and I said, hey, Denzel, man, you got to get all the candles lit and stuff. And I actually just said, make it happen. And he knew exactly what I meant. I had a mink bedspread on the bed. And...

25:35 Drew This was date one.

25:37 Ron Lester Well, no. Yeah, this is the official date.

25:39 Adam Mink? Mink bedspread?

25:40 Ron Lester I had a... I bought a mink bedspread, man. Leave it alone. Let it go.

25:43 Caller All right.

25:44 Ron Lester So anyway...

25:45 Adam That's a blast, Drew.

25:47 Yeah.

25:49 Drew Again, I'm thinking what you would do with that.

25:50 Ron Lester Left over from the bad days, OK?

25:51 Adam Right.

25:52 Ron Lester But anyway, so it was really... I had all this sexy and I had a... Because I only gave her like one white flower, one white rose, and had a ball of Dom next to the bed and the candles lit and the tiki torches on my private porch done. And it was really cool. And we did... And it was just absolutely nothing. All we did was just sit there and talk. And it was just like... For me, it was the... It was the most real moment I've ever had with someone that I cared about.

26:14 Adam That is nice.

26:15 Ron Lester So... And it's been the way ever since, dude. I mean, I constantly...

26:19 Adam Bang the bejesus out of her neck.

26:20 Ron Lester No way, dude.

26:22 Adam No sex on the first night.

26:23 Ron Lester No, her dad's a minister, dude, so it doesn't happen.

26:25 Adam Well...

26:26 Ron Lester Ronnie's being good.

26:27 Adam That can go either way.

26:28 Ron Lester No, no, no. Ronnie's being good, dude.

26:30 Adam You know the part I'm most fascinated by is the call to the roommate who you let the code word fly to and who immediately snaps into action. Any roommate I ever had... I don't know, like...

26:43 Drew Denzel Washington.

26:43 Adam Yeah, if I would have called any roommate I've ever had over the years and been like, hey Ralph, got a date, he'd be like, yay, why don't you ever blow me when she's done with you? There's no way any roommate of mine would have flown off the sofa and put the pan together, lit the tiki torches, spread out the mink comforters.

27:05 Ron Lester My roommates were super cool. I mean, I'm very fortunate to have friends that way I have, you know, and have the experience in life the way it is, you know.

27:15 Adam Wow. Ron, really, new lease on life.

27:18 Ron Lester Oh, yeah.

27:19 Adam It was nice for the first 10 minutes. I'm going to kill a guy now. Kathy?

27:23 Caller Yes.

27:24 Adam You're 39.

27:25 Caller 39.

27:26 Adam What's up?

27:28 Caller Well, I'm married and I'm in love with another guy. We're both addicted to drugs.

27:35 Adam You and the other guy or you and the husband?

27:38 Drew Or all three of you?

27:39 Caller The other guy. No, my husband. He's drug free.

27:42 Adam He is.

27:42 Drew What drug are you addicted to?

27:45 Caller I'm addicted to hydrocodone.

27:47 Drew Opiates. So really we don't know what's going on here. I mean, this could all be your addiction. You got to get treatment. Do you have kids?

27:55 Caller No.

27:55 Drew With your husband? Do you want that relationship to go on, your relationship with your husband?

27:59 Caller Well, no, we don't get along. He's very controlling. We lived together for ten years and then we split up.

28:09 Caller He was really mentally abusive to me.

28:12 Drew Just like dad used to be for you?

28:14 Caller Well, dad was an alcoholic. I took care of him.

28:19 Drew He wasn't very abusive when he drank?

28:21 Caller Well, yeah, sort of.

28:23 Adam All right. So you don't have any kids, huh?

28:26 Caller No, I was pregnant last August by the guy that I'm in love with. And he just totally turned his back on me. They're both Mexicans. And the guy that I was in love with, he said that his mom was sick and he had to go to Mexico and he got into a bunch of trouble.

28:48 Adam And he does drugs.

28:49 Drew All right, Kathy, this is all total BS.

28:52 Adam Hold on, this guy sounds like a dynamite individual.

28:54 Drew No, not that you're lying. All this is all about your addiction. You need to get that taken care of. When you wake up from this addictive disease, you're going to look at these guys and want nothing to do with them.

29:05 Adam Even the Mexican guy who dumped her?

29:07 Drew Both of them.

29:07 Caller I don't want, I don't, I don't love my husband.

29:10 Drew I understand, but you have a serious...

29:12 Caller The reason that I married him...

29:14 Drew No, Kathy.

29:14 Caller It was like a, like a last...

29:16 Caller Kathy?

29:17 Drew Kathy?

29:18 Adam Oh boy. Hey, Kathy.

29:20 Caller Yes?

29:20 Adam We don't care about your husband.

29:21 Drew Yeah, it doesn't. These relationships are distractions. They're not what's really going on with you. You've got to, you've got to get your addiction treated. It is the key issue here.

29:30 Caller That's the main, the main reason that I've called.

29:33 Drew All right. There's good, there's lots of good program. You know, where in Georgia are you?

29:37 Caller Cedar Town. It's about 60 miles northwest of...

29:41 Drew Atlanta.

29:41 Caller Atlanta. As a matter of fact, your guest is named Ron. Yeah? I'd like to ask him if he ever went to Cobb High.

29:53 Ron Lester I actually went to North Cobb High School.

29:54 Caller Yeah. My brother-in-law was a school teacher over there. He told me that he taught you...

30:00 Ron Lester Who is your brother-in-law?

30:02 Caller Cliff Biggers. Mr. Biggers.

30:04 Caller Oh my God! Are you kidding me?

30:08 Caller No.

30:08 Ron Lester No. You guys, y'all don't understand. Just not to take away from your situation here, because I think this is a very important thing that you need to talk to Drew about. But I gotta tell you, oh my God. Dude, I was the kid in school that when they said I need to take a foreign language to get into college, I was like, oh, I can't pass English. And you want me to take a new language, you know.

30:28 Adam In Georgia, foreign language is English.

30:30 Drew English, yeah.

30:31 Adam Can I just give you English? Should I give you credit for that?

30:33 Ron Lester This guy, he did mass media. And it was the only thing, other than art and photography and stuff like that, I was interested in.

30:42 Drew Adam must be like one of your ceramics teachers coming through.

30:44 Caller Yeah.

30:44 Ron Lester I mean, I used to make bongs, right?

30:48 Adam I called him Vazes, how dare you.

30:50 Caller Yeah, he's a real jerk.

30:51 Caller I hate him.

30:52 Ron Lester Oh, Cliff is? Oh yeah, he's an ass.

30:55 Caller He really is, dude.

30:56 Drew But you were saying.

30:57 Ron Lester No, it was so funny.

30:58 Drew You were about to say you liked him.

30:59 Ron Lester No, no, no, no, no. I mean, yeah, well, I was going to be polite, but now I know she doesn't like him. I don't care. But no, it was like, it was one of those things of this teacher was the only teacher who was really on my side at the time. And most kids have like teacher-parent conference meetings, you know, like once a year. I was so bad, I had him like two to three times a year because I was always in trouble for something and I never knew why. But Cliff was like, you know, Ron's really good with this. I mean, I was the student for once in this guy's class, in a classroom where if another student didn't get it, I was the kid that the teacher was like, Ron, explain it to him. You know, like, you know how you had the smart girls and the math or whatever. That's the only thing I really got. Anyway, I fell in the guy's class like three times on purpose, you know, because you're gonna take it once. Anyway, when I graduated-

31:43 Adam Well, did you not like this guy or did you like him?

31:45 Ron Lester Well, that's what I'm gonna tell you. When I graduated, there was a big hoopah, dude. I mean, like the Cobb County School Board went nuts because I finally got out. And the reason it went stupid on us is because of the fact when I graduated, there's like 700-something kids in my graduating class. We're in this big auditorium, and, you know, this person watched- Okay, yeah, they're getting a diploma, right? As soon as they hand me that diploma, they go, Ronald Leonard Pierce Lester. BAM! The entire place stood up and gave me a standing ovation. It pissed them off so bad because it interrupted the ceremony, right? Like, my mom went up and saw Ms. MacLeod nearby, and she went to Ms. MacLeod, and she was one of our present principals, and she just wanted to go up and say, you know, my mom went up to her, you know, because my mom, everybody loves my mom. There's not one person who would sit here and have anything to say about my mom. It's bad.

32:37 Adam I'm sort of Luke on your mom. I got to be honest. She's a nice lady, but I'm Luke on your mom.

32:41 Ron Lester I would love to call you. I should hook you up with my mom. That's it. No, but-

32:45 Adam Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

32:48 Ron Lester Wait, wait, wait.

32:48 Adam I'm getting to the story.

32:50 Ron Lester I'm getting to the story. I'm getting to the end of this. I promise. It's a catch-up thing, dude. I ain't talked about this in years. Anyway, so we're sitting there, and Ms. McClough, when my mom took out her hand and said thank you very much for helping Ron get through these years, just turned up her nose and walked off. That pissed me off. You don't stuff my mom, dude. Next thing you know, I found out that he was talking bad about me. And this is like the one teacher who was on my side. So I went back to talk to him, and dude, the guy like totally just like walked right by me. Walked right by me. The guy is a dick.

33:24 Caller Anyway, anyway.

33:25 Adam All right, so.

33:27 Drew I feel like it's the Insane Clown Posse is in here tonight.

33:29 Adam Yeah, like Ron Lester ate the Insane Clown Posse and they're all channeling.

33:34 Caller Yeah, dude, I let him go.

33:35 Adam You are an asshole. All right, so Kathy.

33:39 I can't make you feel better.

33:40 Caller He had a he had a heart attack.

33:42 Ron Lester That's not made me feel that. No, wait, no, let me just say this. I am the kid. Now that bothers me. You should never say something like that. I'm a very I'm very I love I'm very he's pro life. I am. I love people. And when someone he's one thing to talk bad about someone, it's another one to say, wish them you know, wish them that's wrong. That you just lost my my respect.

34:06 Adam Kathy, heart attack. Yes.

34:08 Drew You got to find a treatment program. There are lots of them in the Atlanta area.

34:12 Ron Lester You need to get off damn drugs because it's making your brain think that that's a cool thing to do.

34:15 Drew That's right. You got to go inpatient. You got to spend at least a couple weeks there and you got to get focused on you and your addiction. These guys, when you wake up from this, when you start improving and get your addiction under control and treated, all this is going to look ridiculous.

34:30 Ron Lester Wait, can I just say one more thing? Because I dated a psycho over last summer. That's what she says. Dude, I swear to God, she had papers. She was certifiable for real. I didn't know this, obviously. Held out, announced to me. Some guys, I think when women start complaining about the guy started turning on me or wasn't on. Yeah, hi, you're doing drugs. There's a reason why he went nutty is because you made him. Well, and unless he was like, you know, already that way then you just pushed him over the edge. I mean, that happens a lot.

35:03 Drew I'm having trouble tracking Ron right now.

35:05 Adam You don't know what reality is anyway when your highs are high. Let me just give a quick talk to phone screener Damien Damien. No more calls from Georgia for Christ's sake, buddy.

35:14 Ron Lester Dude, y'all should know better. It's Georgia.

35:17 Adam Anyone from the Cobb community, the Cobb county, the Cobb foreigners, anything with the Cobb.

35:23 Ron Lester Dude, you got to understand when you watch Cobb.

35:24 Drew Leave the insane clown posse Anderson, just so we can hear the association or the joke.

35:29 Adam When you play.

35:30 Drew Hang on, here it comes. The joke.

35:32 Adam Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Drew.

35:34 Drew It's coming, it's coming.

35:35 Adam All right, thank you, Drew.

35:36 Drew Eve, wow. It's time for a break anyway. I was hoping you'd use that as a way to break it up.

35:41 Adam All right, but Drew, you got to understand, how many of your cues work on this show?

35:45 Drew I mean, it's about one out of six, but if I didn't do any, it'd be zero out of six.

35:49 Adam Well, about one out of 10, I'd say. Ron Lester's here, the pride of Cobb County Junior College.

35:57 Drew North Cobb. North Cobb.

35:57 Ron Lester North Cobb High School.

35:58 Adam Dude, I went to UT.

35:59 Ron Lester North Cobb High School.

36:00 Adam And also unpopular, WB.

36:04 Drew Unpopular?

36:05 Adam Also unpopular, WB.

36:08 Ron Lester Sugar Daddy, baby.

36:08 Adam Friday night.

36:09 Ron Lester Sugar Daddy, that's me.

36:10 Adam We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

36:15 Love Live with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

36:23 Adam Hey, hey, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is rock here. Yeah, I like this too. This is good. Some 41, everybody. That's a good riffing band. Ron Lester is our guest tonight from Popular WB Friday Nights.

36:43 Ron Lester Howdy.

36:44 Adam Nine o'clock. Ron has really got himself a new lease on life. I'll tell you what, he is pumped up. I mean, Ron was in a good mood at 500 pounds, but at a svelte, 340, he's really going. Yeah, 340 now from five. How much weight since you had your surgery have you lost?

37:09 Ron Lester Not surgery.

37:10 Adam Not surgery.

37:11 Drew Just losing weight.

37:12 Ron Lester No, just like trainer and things like that.

37:14 Adam No, I thought you had a surgery.

37:16 Ron Lester No, I had my tonsils taken out.

37:19 Adam That was it. All right. Okay. Drew, you got to give me that look with the...

37:25 Ron Lester I was trying to figure out what surgery he's talking about. Oh, no, the rectal thing. No.

37:30 Adam Eve? Eve? Is she sleeping?

37:36 Caller Oh, God.

37:36 Adam What's up with Eve?

37:39 Caller All right.

37:41 Adam Tracy?

37:42 Caller Yes?

37:43 Adam You're 25. What's up?

37:45 Caller Yeah.

37:46 Last weekend, my husband decided to stop drinking. And he's going to AA now.

37:50 Adam Right.

37:51 And I'm just curious if I should not drink around. I don't have a problem with drinking, but I do like to go out every once in a while and have a drink.

37:58 Drew Well, if you want to support him, you should certainly keep the house free of alcohol.

38:01 Right. I don't have a problem with that.

38:03 Drew You want to drink. If you're not an alcoholic and you want to drink when you go out, it shouldn't be a problem.

38:08 Adam Hold on.

38:08 Drew He shouldn't be going into environments where he's exposed to alcohol for at least another six months.

38:12 Adam The house doesn't include the garage if it's detached, does it?

38:15 Drew It includes the garage, but not the woodshed.

38:17 Adam Okay. All right. We'll put the booze out in the garage somewhere.

38:20 Drew No, no. Woodshed.

38:21 Adam Oh, woodshed. Or just put yourself like a fifth of Meyers in your tampon box or some place you won't be rummaging around.

38:31 Caller Right.

38:31 Adam Yeah.

38:32 Caller Okay.

38:33 Adam Yeah, support him.

38:34 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

38:35 I'm going to go to an Al-Anon meeting.

38:37 Drew There you go. Right on. It's supposed to go well, Tracy.

38:39 Caller Okay.

38:40 Drew Don't drink. Go to Al-Anon. And he shouldn't be in environments where he's exposed to alcohol for several more months. Not at all. So you really shouldn't be in areas where you're likely to be drinking with him either.

38:50 Ron Lester Be supportive when he has like the really hard days and you know, he's a little stressed.

38:54 Drew Tell him to call a sponsor. You call your sponsor. You guys go to meetings.

38:58 Okay.

38:58 Drew All right.

38:58 All right.

38:59 Adam Good times, baby. Let's talk to Danny who's 13. Danny?

39:03 Caller Yeah.

39:04 Adam What's up?

39:05 Caller Yeah. I have ADD and OCD. I was wondering if that's going to affect my sex drive.

39:10 Drew Having those two problems?

39:12 Caller Because I have three medications.

39:15 Drew What medications?

39:16 Caller I have Ritalin, Luvox, and Tenex.

39:20 Drew Have you noticed it affecting your sex drive?

39:23 Caller Well, I noticed that I haven't hit puberty yet.

39:28 Drew So you really don't have a big sex drive yet. Luvox is the one that might do it. But again, it remains to be seen.

39:34 Adam Luvox was the name I wanted when I used to work for that FM station out in Tampa.

39:39 Drew I thought it was your boxing name.

39:41 Adam Luvox? No, Fox was German for voice or something like that. That's why it was funny.

39:48 Caller I just want to say, Adam, I watch Man Show a lot. I'm a real big fan.

39:52 Caller You guys take care.

39:53 Adam Thanks, Danny. And good luck with the penis later on in life.

39:56 Drew You're going to be shocked to know, Adam. I think Ron, judging by the way he was fidgeting around there, that he had ADD. Can you imagine that?

40:02 Caller Shocking.

40:04 Ron Lester I used to do Ritalin, too. You did? Yeah.

40:06 Adam Growing up?

40:07 Drew Why'd you stop?

40:08 Ron Lester Because my mom didn't like what it did to me. I mean, I went from climbing the walls to sitting on the floor. I went from one extreme to the other. My mom took me off of it. Now, I'm the wonderful person I am today.

40:21 Adam Yeah. You got any Ritalin in your car?

40:25 Ron Lester You make fun of me, dude, but I'm going to tell you, we were talking about this while ago. I thought you were fixing to go there, but I tell you, as far as energy level goes, it's all new. I mean, I average about five hours a night in sleep. Really? My mind, I can't stop.

40:39 Drew Well, you used to have sleep apnea.

40:41 Ron Lester Yeah. I used to sleep all day. Like when we were doing the show, if I wasn't neat on the set, I'd be in my trailer asleep. If I wasn't working, I'd sleep during the day. I mean, I would go out and I would eat, like, you know, like if I didn't have to work on the set, I'd go out and grab something to eat, like a McDonald's, I'd get like a Two Big Macs, Flava Fish, Super Size Fries, Super Size Coke.

41:00 Adam Really?

41:00 Ron Lester That was like one mil.

41:02 Adam Two Big Macs, Flava Fish, Super Size Fries, and Coke. Yeah.

41:06 Ron Lester And then I eat and I get so full because all your blood goes to your stomach when you're trying to digest it. So you get tired again, so I end up sleeping it off. But now it's like I eat like a bird, dude. Really? I mean like seriously, I only eat like three fourths cup of food at a time. And that's like four or five times a day.

41:27 Adam You miss all that junk?

41:28 Ron Lester There's no way, dude. No way. No way.

41:31 Adam He's trying to talk himself out of it.

41:32 Drew No, no, no.

41:32 Ron Lester I'm just saying it's like it's amazing. Like if I sit here and I try to explain to you how food called me and how I was such a slave to it. Now it's not.

41:42 Drew I'm getting hungry. I'm talking about this.

41:43 Adam Yeah, me too. Drew has sent out four pizzas.

41:45 Drew There's a little talker over here. We run down there?

41:48 Ron Lester But it's just like now I get very little sleep and I'm still full of energy here today and that is where you're going to go.

41:56 Adam That's it. I'm going to lose 165 pounds. That's it. I got to get some energy. Jason?

42:01 Yeah.

42:02 Adam You're 14? Yeah. What's up?

42:05 Caller Um, I'm dating someone. I've been dating them for about a month. And one of her friends called me up today and we just started a conversation and that went into a fight like it usually does.

42:16 And, um...

42:17 Ron Lester So her friend's not your friend?

42:19 Caller Huh?

42:19 Ron Lester Her friend is not your friend?

42:21 Caller Not really. But, um... So anyway...

42:25 Adam I guess we're supposed to react to that somewhat.

42:28 Oh, really? Oh.

42:29 Caller So anyway, um... Last thing she said to me was that the only reason my girlfriend was going out with me was because her friend and this friend's friend had made a $50 bet with her that she would be able to take my virginity and then just leave me and if she won she would not only make the $50 but they'd have to lose their virginity too.

42:48 Ron Lester Did she make the $50?

42:50 Caller I haven't lost my virginity yet.

42:51 Adam I see.

42:52 Caller Oh, what a bizarre dude.

42:55 Adam Yeah, I remember what it was like being in the ninth grade having all those chicks making bets trying to pop your cherry. Yeah.

43:02 Drew What a bizarre situation.

43:03 Adam Thank God I didn't let any of them get at my penis and go well out of high school. Oh, thank God. So Jason, do you believe any of this?

43:13 Caller I'm not really sure because she's really close to both of these people. But in general, she seems like a really shy, timid person.

43:21 Ron Lester Is her friends very vindictive?

43:24 Caller Pardon?

43:24 Ron Lester Are her friends vindictive kind of girls?

43:26 Caller What does that mean?

43:27 Ron Lester Like they're out, like-

43:28 Adam Spideful?

43:29 Ron Lester Very spiteful, very, you know, they'll hurt you no matter what.

43:34 Caller They are one of my friends, but not to me.

43:36 Adam Okay, but Jason, let's look at a worst-case scenario here. Somebody gets paid 50 bucks for jumping on top of you.

43:47 Ron Lester I brag about that, bro.

43:48 Adam How bad a gig is that for you? Get a t-shirt.

43:52 Ron Lester Someone paid for me, that's what I should say.

43:54 Adam Yeah, why? Listen, women don't do this, especially ninth graders. They don't have it in them. They just don't. So Jason, you're fine. Don't get her pregnant. Relax. Don't freak out on her. Just relax. I don't know what else to say.

44:11 Drew Talk to your girlfriend, be honest. Get her to be honest. Just talk to her. Don't give these friends of hers.

44:15 Ron Lester No, I'm serious. Make her earn it. Say, you know, if she's really serious and she wants to take you to Virginia, man, make her earn it. Make her take you to dinner. Make her do all the, you know, the little bubble baths and all that kind of stuff.

44:25 Adam Speaking of the bubble bath, Bethany?

44:28 Caller Hi.

44:28 Ron Lester Oh, God!

44:30 Adam This is Ron's girlfriend.

44:32 Caller How you doing?

44:33 Adam Good. I got to go. Mink Comforter, huh?

44:36 Drew We just want, yeah, Mink Comforter. We just want to know Bethany's...

44:39 Caller I actually just wanted to call and get the Mink Comforter on.

44:41 Caller Whoa, whoa, Bethany, hold on here.

44:43 Adam Minister's daughter with the S word flying out of her mouth.

44:46 Drew Wow, on the radio.

44:49 Adam Go ahead there, baby.

44:51 Caller What?

44:52 Adam Now, please, no more swearing on the air.

44:54 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

44:55 Adam That's all right. Go ahead.

44:56 Ron Lester I love you.

44:59 Caller I just want to come say hi. I make sure that you give your friend in Pasadena a big kiss on the cheek.

45:06 Adam Oh, and now listen, Bethany.

45:08 Caller I'm just kidding.

45:10 Ron Lester Guys, y'all got to tell her, seriously. Tell her what I've told you guys.

45:15 Adam Bethany?

45:16 Drew You've been listening to them, right?

45:17 Caller Pardon?

45:18 Drew You've been listening tonight, right?

45:19 Caller Uh-huh.

45:20 Drew All right, so you heard out...

45:21 Caller We were stuck in traffic driving back from this church thing in Long Beach and so we had nothing better to do. I'm just kidding. Ron, what do you want?

45:28 Ron Lester I have photos of you and me on the red carpet at the movie line on Hollywood Square.

45:33 Caller Oh, gosh.

45:34 Ron Lester And I was showing... I'm telling you, I was showing these guys. I mean, I... Y'all guys, I love her so much.

45:41 Adam He's been bragging about you non-stop. He masturbated twice to you. And it's really a show of affection.

45:47 Drew A little embarrassing, I think.

45:48 Caller We're not actually on air right now, are we?

45:49 Caller Yes, we are.

45:51 Caller Okay, I gotta go.

45:54 Adam All right, thanks for calling in, Bethany.

45:55 Ron Lester Love you.

45:56 Caller No problem.

45:56 Adam All right, bye. Say, hey.

45:59 Ron Lester I know, she doesn't even say it back.

46:00 Adam Dude, tell Ron you love him, for Christ's sake.

46:03 Caller I love you.

46:04 Ron Lester I love you, baby.

46:05 Caller Bye.

46:06 Ron Lester Bye.

46:07 Adam Bye, Bethany. Of course we're on the air. Why would I yell at her for using the S word? All right.

46:13 Ron Lester Oh, my God, dude. I cannot believe she even got through. Dude, y'all see me?

46:20 Caller I almost dumped my shorts.

46:23 Adam Drew, seriously, do you have anything in the car for Ron? Any samples of anything?

46:26 Drew I'm going to go look. I'm going to look hard.

46:28 Adam I don't want to kill the guys. I don't want to drop them down in the night.

46:30 Drew He's coming back to his planet here.

46:32 Adam All right.

46:32 Ron Lester I can't help it. I'm like, I love her so much. You understand?

46:36 Adam Don't break her though.

46:37 Ron Lester I'm not.

46:39 Adam Ron Lester. Let's let Ron cool off, all right? Ron Lester is here. We're taking you outside. We're taking a little walk, right?

46:45 Ron Lester I'm breathing.

46:46 Adam We're going to talk to some very, very nice people in pretty uniforms, with shiny guns. Go get them, Drew. We'll be back after this. Hello? What is this?

46:57 This is the Loveline. Loveline will be right back.

47:04 Adam Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Ron Lester is our guest tonight. You know Ron from Varsity Blues and Popular and what are the two movies coming out again?

47:17 Ron Lester Not Another Teen Movie and Unleashed, where I played John Voight's son.

47:21 Adam John Voight was a coach on Varsity Blues, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. Was it fun working with him again?

47:26 Ron Lester It was awesome. It was a whole new level.

47:29 Adam Hey, I know this sounds like so much Hollywood ass kiss, but isn't John Voight a really nice guy?

47:36 Ron Lester Dude, John is such the... It's like scary because he's so Zen. He's so spiritual. He's so nice. I mean, honest to God, this guy was working off of like three or four hours sleep between doing the movie and all this other stuff. He's also doing the Muhammad Ali movie where he left... When we were in Vancouver filming, he left immediately to go to Africa to work with that. But he, I mean, he's still...

48:03 Adam He's playing the part of Ernie Shavers in that movie, I think.

48:06 Ron Lester No, he's playing Howard Cosell.

48:08 Adam I see.

48:09 Ron Lester Nice try, though. Thanks for playing.

48:10 Adam Well, Ernie Shavers is black anyway from the 70s or...

48:13 Ron Lester I know.

48:13 Adam It was a joke.

48:14 Ron Lester It just wasn't funny. Anyway, whoo, I love you.

48:19 Adam Go ahead. Yes, South Africa. He's playing Howard Cosell?

48:23 Ron Lester He's playing Howard Cosell brilliantly, too, honestly.

48:26 Adam He does the whole Howard thing?

48:28 Ron Lester But he also finds time to work with charities, and he's just a great mentor.

48:34 Adam Isn't his daughter Angelina Jolie?

48:35 Ron Lester Yeah.

48:36 Adam How is she so nuts? You know what I mean?

48:39 Ron Lester I don't think she's that nuts.

48:40 Adam Well, I think she's pretty crazy.

48:41 Ron Lester I think she's just herself.

48:42 Adam Yeah, but herself is nuts. I mean, he seems like a really down to earth, nice guy. I mean, he's one of these guys. You know those people you hear bad stuff about all the time? Yeah. I always hear good stuff about him.

48:54 Ron Lester You can't find anything bad about John. John, I mean, you walk into his house, he has like paintings of like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, John and Bobby Kennedy. You know what I mean? I mean, this is in the living room. I mean, the guy is just a very, he's a book of knowledge. He does nothing but read and just...

49:13 Adam Well, happen to that Angelina Jolie then. He must not have been around. She must have been raised by someone else. Like one of those Sheen things or something. Okay, let's talk to, speaking of Sheen, let's talk to Charlie over here. Here's 21.

49:26 Caller Hi. Hey.

49:29 Okay, it's kind of a messed up situation cause I, I've been on the pill for like a couple of years, but you know, sometimes I miss my pills.

49:40 Adam Right.

49:41 And so like, the week before last, like, I missed a pill, on like Wednesday and sometimes like, I'll bleed, you know, like a little bit when I miss it. Like I'll just spot that like, you know, I just quick take the pill like again.

49:55 Drew Do you take two pills the next day?

49:58 Yeah.

49:59 Drew All right.

49:59 So then, but on Thursday, I still like kind of spotted or whatever. And, you know, but I was back on track, like I had all my pills or whatever, but I woke up Friday and I was like feeling like I had cramps and everything. And then like, sure enough, like I was still bleeding and then I kept bleeding, even though I was taking a pill. So I was just like, okay, well, maybe, you know, I'm just getting my period.

50:18 Caller I don't know. So I just stopped taking the pills.

50:22 So I had my period last week and normally like if I keep head kept taking on my wood, I had it this week.

50:28 Adam So now I was your question.

50:31 Well, I made a mistake and I had sex like an hour ago. And I guess technically it's what happened an hour ago. Sex. I had sex, but I guess since like last week, must have been really exciting.

50:41 Drew It could have run home a call love line.

50:46 I realized after the fact that, well, cause now I was thinking it's like if last week was at my actual period, then I would be like abulating sometime right around now. Yeah. So I guess I was just wondering morning after pill morning.

51:00 Drew Get it. Go get it. Where I work is call your doctor, call them, you know, we call Planned Parenthood. Who was prescribing your pill?

51:10 Who was prescribing my gynecologist?

51:12 Drew All right. We'll call them and tell them you need what's called emergency contraception.

51:16 Caller Okay.

51:16 Drew What pill were you taking?

51:19 Caller Estrastep.

51:20 Drew Estrastep. Yeah. Give them a call and see if they can get something specific for your emergency contraception.

51:25 Adam How come you didn't use any protection?

51:28 Because I normally don't.

51:30 Adam Right. But you're normally on the pill, right?

51:32 Caller Yeah. I just didn't think about it.

51:35 All right.

51:35 Adam Who's the guy?

51:36 My boyfriend.

51:37 Caller All right.

51:38 Adam He didn't know about this, huh?

51:41 Caller No.

51:41 Adam Okay. All right. So you go get that morning after pill tomorrow, right?

51:45 Caller Okay.

51:45 Adam All right, baby. You know what?

51:46 Drew You have three days to get it. The sooner you use it, the more effective it is.

51:48 Ron Lester That pill is so important nowadays.

51:50 Drew Morning after.

51:51 Ron Lester It's so important. I keep meeting people who like down it or will be saying, oh, it's wrong. It's wrong. You know what, though?

51:58 Drew We're not talking about the abortion pill.

51:59 Ron Lester No, I know. I'm just saying.

52:01 Drew I'm talking about some of the suppresses ovulation. Why would it be wrong?

52:04 Ron Lester No, I just...

52:05 Drew Mike, ask them.

52:06 Caller I don't know.

52:07 Drew They don't know what they're talking about.

52:09 Ron Lester I just think it's a good idea. And I walked off. I'm just saying. I just think it's a good thing to have.

52:13 Drew They don't know what they're talking about.

52:15 Ron Lester I don't know what I'm talking about. I just think it's a good idea.

52:17 Adam Well, people are ignorant for the most part. And as I've said many times on this show, the people who write letters, the people who protest, the people who want to complain, they don't want any facts to get in the way of that process. People who write letters write letters. They're not so interested in data or facts or truth.

52:36 Ron Lester They just want to bitch about something.

52:37 Adam They want to bitch about something. And Drew said to me many times off the air and on the air, jeez, these people that are so pro-life and so against abortion. I mean, abortion is such a horrible thing to these people that they can justify killing abortion doctors sometimes, that they look at it as murder. And if it's such a horrible thing and somebody offers an alternative that will drastically, potentially, cut down on abortions, why wouldn't you embrace this?

53:05 Ron Lester Exactly.

53:06 Adam Well, the side of the people, the right wingers, the right to lifers, do not embrace the morning after pill. And the reason they don't embrace the morning after pill is for not any logical reasons, but they cannot go on with their cry, they cannot go on with their letter writing, they cannot go on with their protesting, they're not so interested in doing away with abortion as they are interested in bitching and casting judgment and complaining. That's their number one priority, not abortions.

53:36 Drew Remember the one we had up here from, what was the organization?

53:40 Adam Oh, it was-

53:41 Ron Lester You had the two women in here, one was four, one was eight.

53:43 Drew Her thing was, finally she admitted that she wanted to get rid of all contraception.

53:47 Adam Sure.

53:47 Drew And to me that makes sense. If that's what they want to do, fine. That's their stated mission, great. I can't argue philosophically with that. I think it's a bad idea, but at least it's real philosophically consistent. You attacked the morning after pill, there's no difference in the morning after pill and any other pill. They work the same.

54:03 Adam Well, they don't want to admit it, but they're just generally freaked out, want to write letters and want to complain. So when something comes around that makes sense, they don't embrace it, and that's why. Jonathan? And that's why I don't listen to anyone who writes a letter. Jonathan, you're 23. Hi there. Good, me neither. What's up?

54:21 Caller Actually, I had a question for you, Adam.

54:23 Caller It's a construction question.

54:25 Adam All right, finally.

54:27 Caller The door hinges on my door, when it's not closed, it just opens the door automatically.

54:32 Adam Pops open, huh?

54:34 Caller I was just wondering, should I just buy new hinges or?

54:36 Adam No, it's not the hinges.

54:37 Drew Can you tighten them down or?

54:38 Adam Interior door?

54:39 Caller Interior door. I've tried to tighten them down.

54:42 Adam Yeah, so the screws are tight.

54:44 Caller Yeah.

54:44 Adam And it still pops open.

54:46 Caller Yeah, really slowly.

54:47 Adam Yeah, it's binding. I mean, whoever hung the door, when you hang a door, you're supposed to put a bevel on the strike side and the butt side.

54:55 Ron Lester I love this.

54:56 Adam Butt side are where the hinges go. Strike side is where the handle goes. A lot of guys cut corners and they don't bevel the hinge side. They just hinge, they bevel the side that swings with the lock mechanism in it, because that side you can tell when it's not beveled. They don't do the hinges.

55:12 Ron Lester Now, me being a guy, I understand what you're telling them, but for those who don't, what the hell is a bevel?

55:15 Adam A bevel, they angle it.

55:18 Drew Dig it into the wood.

55:19 Adam Put an angle on it.

55:20 Ron Lester Why don't you just say that?

55:22 Adam Bevel, I don't know. To me, bevel is a normal word. You know what bevel is.

55:27 Ron Lester Of course. That's why I admitted it.

55:28 Adam Jonathan, do you know what bevel is?

55:30 Caller I know what bevel is. See?

55:32 Adam That's all I care about.

55:33 You're just educated more than me.

55:34 Drew They weren't beveling in the hinge to the door jam or the wall? No, they weren't.

55:40 Adam They weren't beveling the side of the door that took the hinges.

55:44 Ron Lester Could you use that in a sexual expression? Like, I got beveled?

55:47 Adam Yes, I was beveled in prison.

55:51 Caller And I'm not comfortable talking about it.

55:52 Drew You're beveled at Barney's.

55:53 Adam That's right. So, Jonathan, there's a couple of things you can do, because you don't want to pop the hinges out, bevel the thing, and then remorse the hinges. That's going to be a nightmare, and you're not up to it, quite frankly. Let me tell you something you can do. After the hinges are tightened down, and you make sure the screws are in there good, like you already did, take yourself like a nail or a punch or an awl.

56:16 Drew This is what you had me do in my house.

56:17 Adam Or something like that.

56:18 Drew It worked.

56:18 Adam Yeah. As you close the door, put it in the hinge right by the knuckle, right by the hinge pin, and then lean on the door and bend the hinges a little bit. That might help you out.

56:29 Caller So put the nail inside the hinge.

56:31 Adam Inside the hinge like you're going to pinch it shut.

56:34 Caller And just crunch it?

56:35 Adam And crunch it. Yeah.

56:36 Drew Gently. Gently.

56:37 Adam Lean on it. See if that will do it.

56:40 Ron Lester I'm not joking.

56:40 Drew That actually makes so much sense. We had a problem where the door was catching in the bottom plate.

56:47 Adam Yeah.

56:47 Drew And you had me do that in the top hinge, right?

56:49 Adam No, I had you do it on the bottom. I had you do it on the bottom.

56:51 Drew Bottom hinge, yeah.

56:52 Adam Should I do both? Yeah, do both hinges. Okay. Do them both the same. Thanks, dude. All right. Good times.

56:58 Drew Do them both the same time?

56:59 Adam Yeah. I don't know. This is a weird little problem and it may not help, but it may. Also, you can fix the latch on the thing so that it grabs when you shut it, right? How? Really? Can you do that?

57:12 Drew Or can you put a screw? Because there's a screw mechanism you can put in there?

57:14 Adam No.

57:15 Drew No. I'm in a spring mechanism.

57:17 Adam Doesn't the door latch when you shut it?

57:19 Caller Yeah.

57:20 Adam All right. So just shut it and it won't come open, right?

57:23 Caller Well, yeah, but my cats like to come in, so I just like to, I don't know.

57:27 Adam And it swings open. Well, part of the... I mean, listen, the house could be old.

57:31 Drew Could be old.

57:32 Adam It could be...

57:32 Ron Lester It could be haunted.

57:33 Adam It could be out of plum, the inside.

57:35 Ron Lester It could be haunted.

57:36 Adam And the house could be haunted or possessed. Charlene?

57:42 Yeah?

57:42 Adam But I would appreciate a few door related calls to wrinkle that throughout this evening's show. Charlene, what's up? You're 30.

57:51 Caller I am 30. I've been waiting for five years to talk to you guys. Wow. And I wonder if you guys ever go back and listen to any of your old shows.

58:02 Drew No, we don't listen to any of our shows.

58:03 Adam We don't listen to the one we're doing now. While we're doing it, we don't hear this.

58:06 Caller When I first started listening to you guys...

58:08 Drew We were much better.

58:09 Caller No. Oh, no. Not that at all. I mean, I absolutely love you guys. But it's just so funny because you guys have rubbed off on each other. I remember when I first started listening to you guys, Drew, you were a lot more conservative.

58:19 Adam Right.

58:20 Caller And you would just sit there and roll your eyes at Adam and just be like, oh my God. And now you're almost as bad as he is.

58:26 Adam He's worse. He's worse. Thank you.

58:30 Caller I'm a rapist.

58:31 Caller I absolutely love you.

58:32 Adam There you go. He would have never raped five years ago.

58:36 Caller And see what you've done to him.

58:38 Adam That's right. Total corruption.

58:39 Caller I absolutely love you.

58:40 Ron Lester God bless you, Adam.

58:41 Adam Thank you.

58:42 Caller I absolutely love you, Adam. You are the man of my dreams.

58:44 Adam Thank you.

58:45 Drew Oh, Charlene.

58:46 Caller Charlene.

58:47 Drew Charlene, I beg your pardon.

58:48 Caller Adam is the man of my dreams. Thank you.

58:50 Ron Lester Drugs are bad, honey.

58:52 Caller Absolutely.

58:54 Adam And when I dream about women dreaming about me, I dream about you, Charlene.

58:57 Caller Thank you.

58:58 Ron Lester Do you ever dream about me, Adam?

58:59 Adam I dream about you dreaming about women who dream about me.

59:03 Ron Lester Nice.

59:04 Adam What's up, Charlene?

59:05 Caller My question was regarding GHB and what your view on GHB is, Dr. Drew, whether it is really dangerous and really there's a lot of conflicting.

59:27 Drew Yeah. The jury is really still out on it. I can only tell you that I've treated a number of people severely addicted to it.

59:33 Caller You have?

59:33 Drew Oh, yeah. When it becomes addictive, it is nasty as. I mean, it is bad news. Then the biggest problem I have with it is that it's like, it tends to behave like a sort of mix between alcohol and a valium-like drug in terms of how it affects people and their addiction. But it seems to cause a change in their personality and they get kind of manic depressive. They get sort of hypomanic. I have yet to see somebody stay successfully off GHB. They only treated it through four of these people, but they all keep going back before they ever clear. I've seen some go two or three months without the drug and they're still on medicine for bipolar.

1:00:09 Adam When you say clear, do you mean sort of detox?

1:00:11 Drew Get back to normal.

1:00:14 Caller These people that you've treated, I mean, are they taking like a pharmaceutical grade of GHB or are they taking like?

1:00:20 Drew They take a lot.

1:00:21 Adam Where do you get a pharmaceutical grade of GHB?

1:00:24 Caller Mike, the reason I'm asking is because I have narcolepsy, and GHB is, from what I've read and what I know about it, a very effective treatment for narcolepsy.

1:00:36 Drew It's an interesting treatment. I'm not sure they know it's effective yet.

1:00:39 Caller And there aren't any good treatments for narcolepsy. I mean, like you guys were talking about sleep earlier and talking about Ritalin and everything, which was kind of ironic because I've been through the whole gamut of everything that they treat. Ritalin is a horrible, horrible drug. It's, ugh.

1:01:00 Drew And what happens with your narcolepsy? How does it manifest?

1:01:04 Caller It's inappropriate daytime sleepiness, hypersonulence. I'm just tired all the time.

1:01:09 Drew Did you drop into REM sleep? You'll be sitting there all of a sudden, tired of sleep?

1:01:11 Caller No, I don't have cataplexy.

1:01:14 Caller But I just, I'm just tired all of the time. When I went into the sleep disorder clinic and I had my sleep, yeah, my sleep study, even with the EEG attached and all that, I fell asleep in seven minutes and I was in REM sleep in eight minutes. Holy Christ.

1:01:36 Drew But that's me.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah.

1:01:37 Drew And I do that all the time.

1:01:38 Adam Drew does that on the, well, he does it, what? During the show.

1:01:41 Drew Yeah. I'm just, I'm just, I'm asleep about two and a half minutes.

1:01:44 Adam I hate you so much for that.

1:01:47 Ron Lester Let me ask you something. When do I hate you for that? Have you ever heard of blue nitro?

1:01:51 Adam What?

1:01:52 Ron Lester Have you ever heard of blue nitro? Yeah, I have. It's like, it's like GHB, except it's-

1:01:56 Drew Yeah, it's the new one.

1:01:57 Ron Lester It's the new GHB. It's like organic. Supposedly organic, you know.

1:02:02 Adam I thought you were asking Drew if he ever went down on a wrestler. I assumed it would be blue nitro.

1:02:07 Drew No, he was in American Gladiators.

1:02:10 Ron Lester I just wonder if you heard anything about that because my roommate was doing that for a while.

1:02:15 Drew I've not, I've heard of it and not dealt with it. Denzel?

1:02:17 Ron Lester Denzel, yeah.

1:02:20 Adam I never got in to any of that stuff. I pride myself as a guy who's experimented with a few drugs.

1:02:24 Drew Well, I wasn't around.

1:02:26 Adam Well, I'm going to come around again for my second lamp of drugs.

1:02:29 Drew It's like a six-pack of beer, basically, if you can dose it right. But being able to dose it is almost impossible. People go into coma.

1:02:35 Adam That's why I got you, buddy. You can help me dose. Candyman over here. Kimberly?

1:02:40 Hi.

1:02:41 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's up, Perky?

1:02:43 Caller Hey, thanks for taking my call.

1:02:44 Adam Thank you for calling.

1:02:45 Caller Yes. I have two suggestions and a question. My first suggestion is for women who have smell from their vagina.

1:02:53 Drew Of what?

1:02:54 Caller Smell from their vagina.

1:02:55 Drew Smell from the vagina.

1:02:56 Adam Right.

1:02:57 Caller That it's a lot less noticeable when you shave the hair around the vagina.

1:03:03 Ron Lester Or just wash.

1:03:05 Caller Or just wash, but like...

1:03:06 Adam Yeah, the hair. Right. No, I'm with you.

1:03:09 Caller But also, because when I don't shave my armpits, when you notice you don't shave your armpits, it's a much easier smell. It gets in the air more easily.

1:03:19 Adam No, it's true. I mean, listen, if you're smelly, like if you've been out... Let's say you've been out in an environment where people have been smoking cigars, and you've been drinking, and you've been out... Your hair smells like the environment. Your nose doesn't... I don't mean the inside. I mean, your forehead doesn't smell like it. Your hair does. So it does kind of collect stuff. I know that with my sack. If the hair's off, it doesn't smell so bad.

1:03:43 Drew Of course, that's true. However, when people complain about vaginal odor, that's not the kind of odor they're talking about.

1:03:48 Adam They're not talking about the outside, they're talking about the inside.

1:03:50 Drew Yeah, they're talking about a very different smell.

1:03:52 Caller Well, yeah.

1:03:52 Adam But it couldn't hurt. Couldn't hurt.

1:03:54 Caller But also like when, during the day, before I did that, I would notice, well, I can smell myself.

1:04:00 Drew All right.

1:04:01 Caller So I do that. And my other suggestions, well, also, I would never wax it, or you guys said before, like, get a...

1:04:08 Drew Laser.

1:04:09 Caller Laser?

1:04:10 Adam Yeah, I never said that.

1:04:11 Caller Before you said, like, the Playboy wax, I would never wax it, so...

1:04:13 Drew Laser.

1:04:14 Caller Laser. Okay. And when women have female incontinence, I had an invention to cut a circle out of a sponge and then cut a little circle inside and then put it around the penis. So like when it, when it pees, it doesn't get everywhere.

1:04:29 Adam Right. But wouldn't you have to kind of be on the down stroke?

1:04:32 Caller Well, like, you know, when, when she's gonna have, when she's having an orgasm, have them like stay, you know, pretty close.

1:04:37 Adam Right. That, it's not a bad call. Seems like a fair amount of work. Yeah.

1:04:42 Drew It's not gonna, it's not gonna mop up too much.

1:04:45 Adam I mean...

1:04:45 Drew Maybe just a cork with around the penis.

1:04:48 Caller Oh, maybe a cork. Well, basically, like, cause two days ago, a guy called and he would, he...

1:04:54 Adam Well, listen, hold on. What if you made a bracelet out of sponge and then you stood in front of my windshield when I hit the sprayer? How much of that do you think you'd grab while it was airborne?

1:05:04 Caller Well, if you, if you, if he was really close to her. I see.

1:05:08 Adam All right.

1:05:08 Caller Also, when, like...

1:05:09 Adam Most of these women do it, though, during oral sex. So you say make a necklace out of a sponge or...?

1:05:16 Caller Put a sponge around his chin, like have his chin, hold it, hold the sponge up there with his chin, because the pee comes out further down than the clitoris.

1:05:26 Ron Lester Hold on a second. Have you made one of these for yourself yet?

1:05:29 Caller No, she hasn't.

1:05:30 Adam I got to explain something about inventors.

1:05:33 Drew And our collars, please.

1:05:34 Adam Close your eyes and think of the three or four top inventors historically. Okay, any chicks' names pop up? No. You want to know why? That's why. They're trying to perfect the penis sponge. Well, these guys are smashing Adam. Nobody broads work on the Manhattan Project. Close your eyes and think about all the big inventions. Just close them. Think about light bulbs, telephones. Think about, you know what a chicken invented? Liquid paper. You understand? That's the biggest invention, the biggest chicken invention, liquid paper.

1:06:11 Drew Now there's the OB tampon.

1:06:13 Adam Tampons and liquid paper. Those are the two biggest contributions by female inventors. And now the tongue sponge by Kimberly. Hi, Kimberly. You have a very bright future.

1:06:24 Caller Yes, very bright.

1:06:26 Adam Is that it? Shouldn't you be in the lab saving humanity? I mean, do you really have time for this kind of show?

1:06:30 Caller Well, no, I'm a math physician. I don't have to invent Maths, but I'm a mathematician. My question is, like, what do you think about, like, undergrads dating, like, somebody they have for a TA or a TA or something like that? Do you think it's, like, inappropriate?

1:06:48 Adam How old is the TA?

1:06:51 Drew It's fine, but not when you're still in that class.

1:06:54 Caller Okay.

1:06:54 Drew All right?

1:06:55 Caller Okay.

1:06:55 Drew All right.

1:06:56 Caller Okay, thanks.

1:06:56 Drew You can talk about the Schrödinger equation together.

1:06:59 Adam All right.

1:06:59 Caller Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

1:07:00 Ron Lester Well, this is a chin sponge.

1:07:02 Adam All right. Oh, yes. She's quite a mind. I bet she's on a full scholarship over there at Santa Barbara. Patty?

1:07:11 Caller Hi.

1:07:12 Adam You're forty-three?

1:07:13 Caller Yes.

1:07:13 Adam What's up?

1:07:14 Caller Well, I'm married to a man who's thirty-one, and we've been together about eight years since he was twenty-two. And we got married in 99, and about a month after we got married, I found out that he's been lying to me for at least three years, that he has all these fetishes.

1:07:33 Drew What do you mean he was lying to you?

1:07:35 Caller Like, he told me when we first got together, he never wanted me to masturbate. We didn't have to do that. So we could have like a mutual masturbation or sex or whatever. But I would never, we weren't going to do that. So in eight years, I masturbated like twice. So then he would do things like, I found some stuff in a drawer and some bras and some things, and oh, there's somebody else's this and that. So we get married and about a month after we get married, we have a big argument and he packs some things to leave. And then he comes back and he puts the things on the bed. And I look through the bag and I find like a fake vagina thing.

1:08:19 Adam Well, when you're hitting the road for a few days, staying at a motel, that's the first thing you pack.

1:08:23 Caller Underwear, women's underwear.

1:08:24 Adam Chin sponge, fake vagina, check, check, tube socks. Let's go.

1:08:29 Caller That, cup, rubber, cut out.

1:08:33 Adam Okay. This guy's a piece of work.

1:08:36 Caller He steals underwear from the laundry room downstairs, from the neighbors.

1:08:40 Adam Hey, Patty.

1:08:41 Caller Yes.

1:08:42 Adam Here's the main question. You couldn't suss out that this guy was a piece of work. He doesn't give off. I guarantee you that if we stood next to this guy, the hair in the back of our neck would stand up. Why didn't you pick up on him?

1:08:58 Caller I don't know.

1:09:00 Adam You know, I've been through a lot.

1:09:02 Caller I've been through a lot and I've been a real good, you know, queen of the co-dependence.

1:09:07 Drew Yeah, he's 12 years younger than you are. Didn't that already have an issue for you?

1:09:12 Caller What was that?

1:09:13 Drew He's 12 years younger than you are. Wasn't that already kind of an issue?

1:09:19 Caller I guess.

1:09:19 Adam I don't know. Did you have a bad marriage before? Another marriage?

1:09:23 Caller Yeah.

1:09:24 Adam Yeah.

1:09:25 Drew So the guy was an alcoholic addict?

1:09:27 Caller Yeah.

1:09:27 Adam Yeah. Okay. So you shouldn't be picking your guys.

1:09:31 Caller No, I shouldn't.

1:09:32 Drew This is a case for arranged marriages.

1:09:34 Adam Arranged marriages. A pigeon could pick better guys.

1:09:37 Ron Lester As long as she's not from Georgia.

1:09:38 Caller Oh, come on, guys.

1:09:39 Adam No, really. You'd have a better chance. You probably wouldn't get a cross-dresser, an alcoholic or a drug addict.

1:09:45 Drew What you're finding... Oh, I wonder if he is a cross-dresser. What you're finding attractive...

1:09:48 Adam He's pecking bras.

1:09:50 Caller He wears... He'll put the clothes on.

1:09:52 Drew I just thought he masturbated to all this stuff.

1:09:53 Caller And he masturbates and pictures and he cuts them all out because he's manic depressive. And he just... So I find a bunch of stashes of stuff because he told me he was going to quit and go to counseling.

1:10:03 Drew What pictures?

1:10:03 Ron Lester Does he wear your stuff? Huh? Does he wear your stuff?

1:10:07 Caller He's stolen a few of my things, but he says he doesn't take my things because I'll notice. Okay, what?

1:10:12 Drew He's got some stuff going on.

1:10:13 Adam What pictures does he cut out?

1:10:15 Caller He cuts out pornos, but then he's stolen pictures from... I have a 20 year old daughter and he's stolen a picture of her friend and then cut out pictures of vaginas and stuck them on the back.

1:10:27 Adam Oh, that's perfectly normal healthy behavior.

1:10:30 Caller Yeah, and hiding it and then when I find it red-handed, like he made this thing...

1:10:36 Adam Okay, hold... Oh yeah, tell us...

1:10:37 Caller .like a toy, okay, like a kid's stuffed toy. Cut a hole in it and put rubber on the inside of it to masturbate with. And yet with me, oh, you know, he's going to do me a favor if we have sex.

1:10:49 Adam All right, Patty?

1:10:51 Caller Yes.

1:10:51 Adam What more do you need to know?

1:10:53 Caller I guess I don't need to know.

1:10:54 Adam What's it going to take to get you out of this relationship? Well, she's married.

1:10:58 Drew I live here with the family.

1:10:59 Adam Well, she has a kid from a previous relationship who's safely in prison. How many kids?

1:11:05 Caller I have two kids.

1:11:06 Adam Two kids?

1:11:07 Drew With him?

1:11:08 Caller A 20-year-old and a 15-year-old.

1:11:11 Adam What's going on with that 15-year-old?

1:11:13 Caller My 15-year-old is a boy and he has his own... He's mentally ill.

1:11:19 Adam What's he got?

1:11:20 Caller Oh, boy. He's got alphabet soup. He's got attention deficit, oppositional defiant disorder, obsessive compulsive...

1:11:29 Adam Shocking, shocking.

1:11:32 Caller Hyperactivity...

1:11:34 Adam Listen, don't you let this kid hurt anybody? Has he already done that?

1:11:39 Caller My son?

1:11:40 Adam Yes.

1:11:42 Caller My son? Yes.

1:11:43 Drew He's already hurt people?

1:11:46 Caller He's on a lot of medication and that helps.

1:11:48 Drew Good.

1:11:50 Caller I've had to have him put in a mental institution for three days, you know, psychiatric.

1:11:56 Ron Lester And I feel for her because not only does she have to deal with her husband, but her son.

1:12:00 Adam Yeah.

1:12:01 Ron Lester And the safety of her family.

1:12:02 Caller I didn't want to find any man who would even put up with him.

1:12:05 Adam Listen, your dad should be beaten with a pool cue.

1:12:09 Caller My father?

1:12:10 Adam Yes.

1:12:11 Caller My father's dead.

1:12:12 Adam Good.

1:12:13 Caller Oh, you don't want to hear about my father.

1:12:14 Caller No, I know what a horrible, horrible...

1:12:16 Caller His father committed suicide when he was 13 and came to him first.

1:12:20 Adam His father did?

1:12:22 Caller My father, my grandfather.

1:12:24 Caller The grandfather...

1:12:24 Adam The whole thing is a mess. I really like to take out the whole family with lethal injection. Can I? Listen, here's what you need to focus on, Patty. This guy, this shell of a man you call your husband, this guy is a total wreck. Now, you got two choices. Either he gets into serious therapy or it's game off.

1:12:45 Caller Well, when I found these things, I put them out.

1:12:48 Adam Good, good.

1:12:50 Caller I can't live like this.

1:12:51 Adam All right, that's fine. You worry about your 15-year-old son and that 20-year-old daughter, does she have any kids?

1:12:57 Caller No.

1:12:58 Adam Good. Is she a lesbian?

1:12:59 Caller Nope.

1:13:00 Adam Well, she didn't say anything.

1:13:01 Caller No, she's not a lesbian.

1:13:02 Adam Okay.

1:13:03 Caller She will talk and tell men to go to hell.

1:13:06 Adam Good.

1:13:06 Caller She didn't have sex until she was after she was like 18.

1:13:09 Adam Good, good.

1:13:10 Caller She finished high school, she had college, she holds a job.

1:13:13 Adam First one in the family. Look, you don't-

1:13:15 Caller No, I have a college to go to.

1:13:16 Adam Don't let her get pregnant. I'm not talking about junior college, I'm talking about real college.

1:13:19 Caller She's not going to get pregnant, no.

1:13:20 Drew All right, good.

1:13:21 Caller She hates men.

1:13:22 Adam Good.

1:13:22 Caller She talks about how she thinks none of them will, you know, maybe some of them will.

1:13:27 Adam Okay, okay. All right, do you hear how families work, everybody? Do you hear about great-grandfather killed himself in front of grandfather? Grandfather gives birth to Patty over here. She hooks up with a long line of alcoholic, substance-abusive, abusive guys, gives now her, what's her kid? Defiance.

1:13:51 Drew Oppositional Defiance.

1:13:51 Adam Oppositional Defiant. He's 15, he's crazy, he's out of control.

1:13:55 Caller He'll be right back.

1:13:56 Adam All right, we'll take a break.

1:14:03 Hi, this is Jenna Jameson, Starlet of the Air, and nothing makes me hotter than listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:14:12 Adam Yeah, he does love that Drew. I'll tell you, she loves Drew. She sent Drew a bouquet of flowers. Drew was too scared to bring it home, and he didn't want his wife to take his hands. Well, really, he was on the verge of getting his balls back from his wife, and he didn't want to blow the deal, so he didn't want to bring in his flowers. Ron Lester is our guest tonight. He is from Popular on the wwwwb Friday night, nine o'clock. Drew and I just went to the bathroom together.

1:14:39 Drew Oh my god. I was standing, we were standing talking. Was it garlic? Did you not hold me there for intentionally, or I just was walking by?

1:14:48 Adam I want you to get a little shot of that asparagus urine.

1:14:51 Drew I mean, almost knocked me over.

1:14:53 Ron Lester Really?

1:14:53 Drew I thought it was an animal coming in, like peed over the wall.

1:14:55 Adam Let me ask you, had a whole thing of asparagus and garlic for a life.

1:14:59 Ron Lester I've had a couple of girls that told me, when I was in Atlanta, they said, if you're getting like a BJ or something, what you should do is do things like eat a lot of pineapple. Or is that true?

1:15:14 Adam We hear about it all the time. I'll tell you something about, I don't know about the seed, but I'll tell you something about the urine. You can foul it.

1:15:25 Drew Oh yeah. You just fouled it, man. You fouled it. You shanked it.

1:15:31 Adam I don't know if you can make it good, but you can sure make it bad.

1:15:34 Drew I will attest to that.

1:15:36 Caller You especially.

1:15:38 Drew This is where all the wish you had to be able to create good fart has gone into your pee.

1:15:44 Adam This is not just some radio nonsense here either. I didn't say a word. I just took a leak and started heading back and Drew was taking a leak. We pee simultaneously and he's turned the corner and he went, holy crap. What happened? What happened? Yeah. How often do people comment about pee on your urine? Yeah.

1:16:03 Drew And I was not just like, it was not a passing comment. No. No, he just carried.

1:16:08 Adam Foul. Gary, you're 18. What's up?

1:16:12 Caller Well, I've been dating this girl for about six months now.

1:16:17 Adam I see.

1:16:18 Caller And for the past month and a half, we've been having sex and I've been urinating in her.

1:16:25 Drew Hmm.

1:16:27 Adam Intentionally?

1:16:28 Caller No. I tried to stop it, but I can't.

1:16:32 Drew You mean after you ejaculate?

1:16:34 Caller Yeah.

1:16:35 Adam After you ejaculate?

1:16:36 Caller Yeah.

1:16:38 Adam Just moments?

1:16:38 Caller While I'm still going.

1:16:40 Adam Moments? Oh, wait a minute. Moments after you ejaculate, urine comes out?

1:16:46 Caller Yeah.

1:16:46 Drew Or before you ejaculate, urine comes out?

1:16:49 Caller It's after, a little after.

1:16:51 Caller I mean while I'm...

1:16:52 Drew Why do you seem confused by those questions?

1:16:54 Caller Huh?

1:16:55 Drew I was confused by all questions, I guess.

1:16:57 Adam Yeah. This may be bogus.

1:16:59 Caller No, it isn't.

1:17:01 Adam No, it isn't? No. All right.

1:17:04 Drew Let's keep going. Let's keep going.

1:17:05 Adam So, why, yeah, why don't you pull out when you ejaculate, and that way you won't have to urinate in her?

1:17:12 Caller Well, I tried that, and it just, when I pull out, it just keeps on. It keeps going.

1:17:21 Drew What keeps going?

1:17:22 Ron Lester Wait a minute, how you pee inside her if you're pulling out?

1:17:28 Caller It, it kind of like comes out when, if I'm pulling out, it kind of like starts coming out.

1:17:34 Adam So what? So you pee on her then, right?

1:17:37 Caller I pee on her or pee inside of her.

1:17:39 Adam Right.

1:17:40 Ron Lester That means if you pee inside her, it means you ejaculate into her. You're not wearing a condom?

1:17:45 Caller No.

1:17:46 Adam Why don't you wear a condom and that'll catch the urine or use the penis sponge, one of our brilliant female callers came up with just moments ago.

1:17:54 Caller What is it?

1:17:55 Drew No, the condom. Why not wear a condom?

1:17:56 Adam Put a condom on, Gary.

1:17:58 Ron Lester You'll never be able to buy it. Don't worry about it.

1:18:00 Adam How about that?

1:18:01 Caller All right.

1:18:03 Adam Gary, were you in a motorcycle accident or something? Is there something wrong with you?

1:18:08 Caller No.

1:18:08 Adam Do you track normally? Are you able to understand questions and answer them?

1:18:13 Caller Yeah.

1:18:14 Adam Everything fine?

1:18:15 Caller Yeah.

1:18:15 Adam What are you doing? Are you working or are you going to junior college?

1:18:18 Caller I'm working.

1:18:19 Adam Where do you work? Around metal?

1:18:21 Caller No.

1:18:22 Adam What do you do?

1:18:22 Caller I work at White Castle.

1:18:24 Adam You work at White Castle?

1:18:25 Ron Lester What's that? It's a burger place. It's like a burger place. Yeah. East Coast, North.

1:18:28 Caller It's a fast food restaurant.

1:18:30 Adam Yeah. All right, buddy. How's the big picture in life going? You got plans for the future?

1:18:36 Caller Yeah.

1:18:37 Adam What are you going to do?

1:18:38 Ron Lester Besides be a daddy because you're not wearing a condom.

1:18:41 Adam You're going to go to college?

1:18:42 Caller Yeah.

1:18:43 Adam Yeah, but really, what if you get this girl pregnant?

1:18:46 Caller Then I'm going to have to marry her.

1:18:48 Adam Well, how about...

1:18:49 Drew We're planning a little bit.

1:18:50 Adam How about looking down the road just a little bit, just a couple hundred yards, you know? Like, you're going to get this girl pregnant. And then you're going to be screwed because you're not making any money.

1:19:01 Ron Lester It sounds to me like he actually wants to get her pregnant.

1:19:04 Adam I don't know if Gary is like bogus or retard or... What his deal is.

1:19:10 Drew When you're going down the head injury path, that was the way to go. Really? Yeah.

1:19:13 Adam Gary?

1:19:14 Caller Yeah.

1:19:15 Adam Are you of average intelligence?

1:19:17 Caller Yeah. I'm above average.

1:19:19 Adam Are you?

1:19:20 Caller Yeah.

1:19:21 Adam Well, that's at White Castle, but I mean outside of White Castle. Sure, you're Rhodes Scholar at White Castle, but I mean once you leave the the hollowed grounds. Yes.

1:19:31 Caller I'm practically a genius.

1:19:34 Adam Really?

1:19:34 Caller Yeah.

1:19:36 Caller I taught myself how to write in chrysalis before I start kindergarten. I knew how to do sign language. I spoke a different language before I started school.

1:19:44 Adam Right. Right. But maybe you're kind of Rain Man-esque. You got a little Rain Man in you?

1:19:51 Drew Definitely. Definitely.

1:19:52 Caller No.

1:19:52 Adam Okay. Gary, why aren't you going to college if you're a genius?

1:19:56 Caller Well, I don't have enough money.

1:19:59 Adam Yeah, but a genius should figure out a way to make money. I mean, get a scholarship.

1:20:02 Caller That's what I'm doing.

1:20:03 Adam Okay, buddy.

1:20:04 Caller I got stuff on the side that I'm doing.

1:20:06 Drew What are you planning to study when you go to college? What are you planning to study when you go to college?

1:20:11 Caller Get my Ph.D.

1:20:12 Drew In what?

1:20:13 Adam Cheeseburgers.

1:20:14 Caller Psychology.

1:20:15 Adam Alright.

1:20:16 Drew What are you going to study when you go to college, though? Wait, wait. What are you going to study when you go to college?

1:20:20 Caller Psychology.

1:20:22 Drew You want to study a course primarily majoring in psychology? Yeah. How about in high school?

1:20:27 Adam I'll leave the guy alone. I'm done. Gary, a genius would not have sex with his girlfriend without using protection. Alright?

1:20:35 Caller Yeah.

1:20:36 Adam So you may just downgrade yourself to extremely intelligent. Okay?

1:20:41 Caller Alright.

1:20:42 Adam Alright, buddy. You know what I love about today's society? Everyone's a genius.

1:20:48 Drew They just declare it.

1:20:48 Adam Even the retards are geniuses. I really think it's the average. I blame Madison Avenue. How could you?

1:20:53 Drew It's your world.

1:20:54 Adam Everyone's great. Everyone's special. What's that?

1:20:56 Drew Can't communicate with them. How could that be?

1:20:59 Adam Well, have you ever tried to sit down and talk to Einstein about condoms? You know what I mean? All geniuses historically, not good socially. They do not sit down and be able to carry conversation.

1:21:12 Drew But this was not that.

1:21:13 Adam No, that was that kind of genius. Super, super genius. You're talking about 135, 140 IQ. I'm talking about 170, 180 range. White Castle range. You understand me? With cheese. That's right. That's right. Oh my God. Steve?

1:21:30 Caller Yes.

1:21:30 Adam You're 19.

1:21:32 Caller Yes.

1:21:33 Adam What's up?

1:21:34 Caller Well, I want to come out to like my friends and my family, but like I'm in the military and the Boy Scouts and I just like, it's kind of a hairy situation.

1:21:46 Drew So what's the hurry?

1:21:48 Caller What's the hurry?

1:21:48 Drew Yeah.

1:21:49 Adam Well, he's 19.

1:21:50 Drew Yeah, what's the hurry?

1:21:51 Adam He's been gay for a while. He wants to come out.

1:21:53 Drew Well, but he's got some things, a lot of circumstances that will be create great chaos for him.

1:21:58 Adam How's the Scout? What are you doing with the scouting at 19?

1:22:01 Caller Well, I got my Assistant Scout Master with my troop.

1:22:05 Adam I see.

1:22:06 Caller And I mean, that's just kind of, I guess I could give that up, but Yeah. Like the military, what they want, they kind of eat.

1:22:16 Drew Is it an issue for the military?

1:22:19 Caller Well, I don't know what they're going to do.

1:22:20 Adam Well, the military doesn't want you to tell them either way, right?

1:22:23 Caller Right.

1:22:24 Drew Don't ask, don't tell. So the military doesn't want to know. The Boy Scouts will make an issue out of it. How do your family feel about it?

1:22:32 Caller Well, they'd probably flip out, but they'd get over it.

1:22:35 Adam Right.

1:22:35 Ron Lester Are they very religious?

1:22:38 Caller My family isn't, but like some of my friends are, and they might take offense to it, but.

1:22:43 Ron Lester You can get new friends, it's your family that you don't want to lose.

1:22:47 Caller Right.

1:22:47 Adam Yeah. What, you like your parents?

1:22:51 Caller Yes, a bit.

1:22:52 Drew Are you out of the house?

1:22:53 Caller Not yet. I just got a basic training and stuff.

1:22:57 Adam Okay. Here's the rule with coming out of the closet. You have to have a closet. It can't be your dad's closet. You can't come out of your dad's closet. You can freak him out.

1:23:07 Drew You can come out of your own closet.

1:23:08 Adam Right.

1:23:08 Ron Lester I think, personally, I think you should probably take some time to think about what you're thinking about doing, because one, you just got over a very traumatic thing, an uplifting thing in your life, and that was boot camp, okay? Unless you're just dying to make a change and make your life more stressful, I would just let it ride, and then later on in life, just, you know.

1:23:29 Drew What's the hurry? I understand you want people to know you for who you are, in fact, but if you believe these people are going to react negatively, you need to have a separate support system of your own. You need to be independent and self-sufficient. Establish all that, and then go ahead and tell them.

1:23:43 Adam By the way, when did your sexuality become who you are? Yeah. That's the part that drives me nuts about all forms of sexuality and nationalities. I don't like everyone clinging to this. I don't like all the pride parades. I don't like all the pride days. I don't like them nationalistically, and I don't like them through sexual proclivity.

1:24:04 Drew Well, didn't you announce to your parents what you're doing at 15?

1:24:06 Adam Yes, I told them I was going to be the first pirate astronaut.

1:24:09 Caller No, no, sexually.

1:24:10 Adam Oh, yes, I told them I was a Jacketarian. That's a new religion. Right cry in my room and masturbate. I clung to that through high school. Now, my folks who are Catholics are very disappointed when they found out about the Jacketarian. And then some of the things that went along with that. The Holy Jack Bib, the Shroud of Spuent. There's many things that went along with that. I didn't expect them to understand.

1:24:44 Caller Steve?

1:24:47 Adam Steve, don't say anything until you move out and then you make all the announcements you want, right?

1:24:52 Caller Okay.

1:24:53 Adam All right. And one other quick thing. What about being in the army and being attracted to men and seeing a lot of young, albeit stupid, but young good looking guys next to you in the bunks that do anything for you?

1:25:08 Caller Well, actually, most of my platoon are kind of ugly. Right.

1:25:12 Adam But you got to see them naked and stuff, right?

1:25:16 Caller Yeah.

1:25:16 Adam Do anything for you?

1:25:18 Caller Well, that's kind of a hairy situation.

1:25:20 Adam Yeah. You like the little bit, right?

1:25:23 Caller Of course.

1:25:24 Caller Okay.

1:25:25 Adam All right. I'm telling you.

1:25:26 Drew You just wanted to know that.

1:25:28 Adam Okay. I know we're running late for break, but let me just say something about the gays. You gays, you say it all the time. I say, listen, if I were gay, I'd be hanging out at the gym. Now, look at most gay guys with their shirt off. Where do they live? The gym. Go to the gym. Go at 2 o'clock. Go at 2 in the morning. Go at 2 in the afternoon. Go to the gym. See who's hanging out there. Gay guys. Why? Because they get to look at great looking guys naked. And I don't blame them. If I could go into the woman's locker room, I would move into the goddamn gym. I'd be there three hours every day. You wouldn't, there wouldn't be a day that I wasn't at the gym and I would be chilling in that female locker room. Now.

1:26:08 Drew You'd be, you'd be espousing the Jack and Terry.

1:26:10 Adam Well, I'll be honest.

1:26:11 Ron Lester I've never had a guy come after me.

1:26:14 Adam Really?

1:26:14 Ron Lester Well. Look at me.

1:26:16 Adam How's he gonna find your asshole?

1:26:17 Ron Lester I can't reach the pops. It was in the back of the fridge.

1:26:19 Adam So, well now, but now that you've lost the weight.

1:26:21 Ron Lester I didn't think about that.

1:26:22 Drew You've been handing out the book.

1:26:23 Ron Lester But you know, I do have a cute ass. So, you know, whatever.

1:26:25 Adam You're gonna get passed around. You're gonna have the hiv before the night of sound. We'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this.

1:26:36 Hello. This is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:26:44 Adam Dave.

1:26:46 Caller Dave.

1:26:46 Adam Dave. Loveline. Ron Lester is our guest tonight. You know him from Varsity Blues and Popular. Friday nights. WB. Nine o'clock. Couple of movies. When are the movies coming out?

1:26:57 Ron Lester I'm thinking October.

1:26:59 Adam Not a teen movie.

1:27:00 Ron Lester Not a teen movie and Unleashed.

1:27:02 Adam It will come out in October. She can look forward to that.

1:27:04 Ron Lester With Simon Rex and Jamie Presley. Jamie, actually, Jamie Presley is in both of them. So.

1:27:08 Adam Jamie.

1:27:09 Ron Lester Jamie Presley.

1:27:09 Adam Yeah.

1:27:10 Ron Lester I love her. She's like the greatest girl to work with.

1:27:11 Drew Jamie, the one you called crazy on her.

1:27:13 Adam She was. Yeah, I did call her crazy, but she came on this show just a few weeks back and was a complete delight.

1:27:18 Drew Yeah. Love her, dude.

1:27:20 Adam Yeah. She's nice.

1:27:20 Ron Lester She's great to work with, too.

1:27:22 Adam Cynthia. You're 25.

1:27:24 Hi. Yes. I have a question for Dr. Drew. My boyfriend and I have been fooling around with like a penis pump, and it's been all good. But now he's gone into ball pumping. He went on the website and he got this larger cylinder, and he gets some huge, I mean.

1:27:44 Ron Lester Huh?

1:27:45 What? Huge.

1:27:46 Adam Never heard of the ball pump.

1:27:48 Ron Lester I've never heard of that.

1:27:49 Drew But I imagine you'd have more success with that than the penis.

1:27:55 Adam Why?

1:27:55 Drew Because you can pull lymphatic and lymph and blood and everything in there, and it's not good.

1:28:00 And see, he does wet and then dry. I mean, there's like two different things. If you do it dry, it's harder to get out and you can bruise. But if you do it wet, it's more slippery. I mean, you put like hot water into it, and then you pump.

1:28:17 Adam Can't this guy just put his whole body in some kind of like decompression chamber or something so he can just pump his entire, you know, every, every, every appendage? I mean, doesn't that bother you just a little bit that the guy is into the penis and ball pump?

1:28:33 I'm telling you right now, it's bothering me. That's why I'm calling because they're so huge. I mean, it's not even fun to play with.

1:28:40 Drew They're just swollen up though.

1:28:41 Oh, it's like, he'll have to do it Friday and it will go down maybe Monday morning.

1:28:48 Ron Lester Can you get blue balls from that?

1:28:50 Drew I don't think so, but you can get yourself into some trouble. You can get torsion and all kinds of good stuff.

1:28:54 That's what I was asking about. Also, now they're hanging. He's been doing it for maybe like a month. They've been hanging lower now.

1:29:01 Drew Oh, he's stretching his scrotum out.

1:29:02 Adam Doing the math, yeah.

1:29:03 Ron Lester Okay, I'm, uh, just go on.

1:29:07 Caller Why, why is the question?

1:29:08 Why? You know what, that's why I ask him. I mean, like I said, it's all fun experimenting, but I don't know why he's doing it.

1:29:15 Drew Yeah, he's got some energy.

1:29:17 Adam He's got some serious issues.

1:29:19 Drew Yeah.

1:29:20 Caller So what do you think I should do?

1:29:21 Adam I think you ought to run. I really do. You're not married to this guy.

1:29:25 No, no. And he's, he's 10 years older.

1:29:29 Adam He's a 35 year old guy. He's toying around with the ball pump.

1:29:33 Drew That's, uh, hmm.

1:29:35 And see, the thing is, he brought out the penis pump and I'm like, oh, okay, you know, blah, blah, blah.

1:29:40 Drew Does that work?

1:29:41 Ron Lester I mean, seriously.

1:29:42 You know what? Honestly, that's what the guy asked. It doesn't make it longer. It makes it thicker.

1:29:47 Adam Right.

1:29:47 And then the guy is temporarily.

1:29:49 Drew Yeah.

1:29:50 Oh, yeah.

1:29:50 Drew Just like the nuts are swollen up.

1:29:52 I'm like all toys. It's fun to play with occasionally. But you know what I mean?

1:29:56 Drew Yeah. What is it? What's fun in it for you? Really?

1:30:00 More of just like a new, exciting thing.

1:30:02 Drew Yeah. But he's deadly serious about this.

1:30:06 That's what I'm saying. He did the penis pump and I said, okay, fine. Blah, blah, blah.

1:30:12 Drew This is the way women think about men. Hang on a second. Remember, they go through a delusion about men. They think, oh, isn't that fun? He's so cute. This is just the way guys are. No, this guy is deadly serious about this. He is game on. He is thinking this is what he's into.

1:30:28 Adam He's not selling it.

1:30:28 Ron Lester I know, but I've had a friend of mine who, there's like some magazine called like Taboo or something like that. They actually show pictures of like women who like enlarge like their clit for real. Yeah.

1:30:42 Drew Do they have medication?

1:30:43 Ron Lester No, no, like solution. Like they take a needle and they like, Oh, nice. You know, I mean, I'm just saying, does that do anything? I mean, I don't understand me like the whole, the pump thing and stuff.

1:30:55 Adam I mean, like, they're all a mess. Cynthia. Yeah. This guy's a piece of work. You know it. Don't have kids with this guy. Don't get engaged to this guy. Run the other way with you. He's a piece of work and it's not just a ball pump. He's a screwed up individual. All right. All right, baby.

1:31:14 Drew It's never just in one area.

1:31:16 Adam Take it from two guys who don't use, three guys who don't use pumps. Two guys who confirm don't use the ball pump and possibly a third who does not use. Yes, Ron.

1:31:24 Ron Lester I don't use.

1:31:25 Adam Ron does not now. We've now learned that Ron Farr has used the ball pump.

1:31:29 Ron Lester Damn it.

1:31:30 Adam This guy's screwed up. Okay, let's take ourselves a little break. Ron Lester's our guest. We'll be back after this. All righty, everybody. Well, we got off the little bumpy start, but as usual, people went to sleep, tuned out, took the pressure off, and we smoothed right on out for a nice, easy landing here. Well, we're going to take a little extended break, maybe 22 hours or so, but don't worry, kiddies, we'll be departing tomorrow night. Ten o'clock. I want to thank Ron Lester for coming in here tonight.

1:32:10 Ron Lester Appreciate y'all having me back, guys.

1:32:11 Adam Look for new movies coming out soon.

1:32:14 Drew I'm going to come back here when Blink's up here, yeah?

1:32:16 Ron Lester Oh, I'd love to come back up when they're here. You don't mind?

1:32:19 Adam No, not at all.

1:32:21 Ron Lester When are they going to be here?

1:32:22 Drew We don't know.

1:32:23 Adam That's more good radio.

1:32:25 Ron Lester Dude, God.

1:32:26 Drew June, sometime.

1:32:27 Ron Lester I'm here.

1:32:27 Caller I'm here.

1:32:28 Adam Okay, Ray. Are you done, Drew? Just about out of the show. Had to take a few more seconds.

1:32:36 Ron Lester Guys, can I just say this real quick before you all cancel me out. I love you guys, man. I'm serious. I mean, I can't count how many times we've done this show together, but I gotta tell you, each time I do this, I have a new found respect for each and one of you, you know, and I appreciate y'all letting me come back. I'm serious. Well, thanks. I mean, this is like, this is really one of my favorite gigs to do.

1:32:55 Adam Oh, wow. Well, thanks. And we feel the same way about you.

1:32:57 Ron Lester Especially if you're driving me home drunk that night.

1:32:59 Caller Yeah.

1:33:02 Adam The Baton Death March is me loaded after the Academy Awards party.

1:33:05 Drew Nice.

1:33:06 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Crawford, Dr. Drew is saying mahalo.

1:33:09 Ron Lester Get two chicks in the same bed. Do'em.

1:33:13 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, May 2, 2001