Episode 1000754887009

1:12 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:17 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. No fax number because it's out of paper and they stopped making that paper in the 70s. So we will just go without tonight. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And speaking of board certified physicians, we have a couple tonight because tonight's topic is vaginal rejuvenation.

1:48 Drew Among other things.

1:49 Adam Yeah. Well, we're going to stay below the belt tonight. And we have a couple of doctors. First, Dr. David Matlock, he's the founder and director of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center. He's been doing these procedures for 10 years. And I have several thousand questions to ask you. Also, Dr. Alan Altman is here tonight. He's the assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Reproductive Biology Harvard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's a smart guy. This is the real Harvard?

2:24 Drew Yes.

2:24 Adam OK, because, you know, there's a... Drew, do you know, I mean, when you hear the word Harvard, how many times is it the real Harvard out of 10 times? Three times? You know what I mean?

2:38 Drew Yeah, they always say so-and-so studied medicine at Harvard. Well, they took a summer school class there, so, yeah.

2:45 Adam Right, but he's the author of Making Love The Way We Used To, or Better, which is out. You can get that everywhere? Correct, Alan?

2:54 Everywhere you can get it.

2:55 Adam Well, first, I want to ask about vaginal rejuvenation because this is something that I've only heard about over the last few years, maybe even few months. It's not something that's been talked about too much. Who would be a candidate for this, doctor?

3:12 Guest Well, primarily, at the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center of Los Angeles, we do two types of procedures. We do laser vaginal rejuvenation for the enhancement of sexual gratification and we do designer laser vaginoplasty, which is primarily aesthetic procedures for the vulva. The age range will be from around 18 to 40. The patients that are in the younger age, they primarily come in for designer laser vaginoplasty. Some of the other patients, the older patients, will come in for laser vaginal rejuvenation.

3:47 Adam It's a very troubling time we're living in. I just thought about that when I heard about the designer vaginoplasty. I realized we're really running out of things to do as a society. We put the guy on the moon and it's like, well, Christ, what do we do now? Well, let's see what we can do with the vagina.

4:04 Drew But we've had women complaining about the excess inner lip tissue and that that's disturbing to them. Is that what most of you are talking about?

4:11 Guest Right. The second most common procedure that we perform is laser reduction labioplasty. What that is is actually the aesthetic reduction of the inner lips or the labia minora.

4:23 Drew Some women feel that somehow they're going to be upsetting to their partners.

4:26 Adam Well, you know what? Just to jump in here, I realized that in the 70s and even parts of the 80s when women were wearing their hair a little bit longer down there, it's like a guy with a double chin growing a beard. Who cares? But then you clean it up down there, the gardener comes by and all of a sudden you realize you got a problem. Is that what's going on now?

4:50 Drew I'm not sure they're asking why, Adam.

4:52 Adam What's his opinion? Is it the hairstyle that has something to do with it?

4:58 Guest I don't really believe that it's a hairstyle. I think that it's that women are really becoming more self-conscious or aware of these particular types of situations. Really, primarily what the women want, what they want, they don't want the labia minora, their small inner lips.

5:15 Drew Outside.

5:15 Guest Outside. That's it. I think really with the fashions and so forth and things like this, that's why they want these things.

5:22 Drew That's the second most common procedure.

5:23 Guest Right.

5:23 Drew What's the first?

5:24 Guest The first is laser vaginal rejuvenation for the enhancement of sexual gratification.

5:28 Drew Do you guys do the hymen repairs?

5:30 Guest We absolutely do. So the younger patients are coming in for the hymenoplasties or hymenoplasties.

5:36 Drew Now my understanding is that if you do that, you're actually having to convince by your work other gynecologists that this is a virgin because the cultures apparently that need to prove virginity, sort of pick a doctor to verify the virginity and it's your job to trick that doctor.

5:54 Adam Well, those cultures don't have real doctors, thank God. So they're easily fooled by a bunch of crazy guys with towels on their head.

6:02 Guest That's absolutely true. And so the young ladies who come in for those particular procedures is primarily from Middle Eastern descent.

6:08 Drew Do they come in by themselves? Are they ashamed? Is their counseling given to them?

6:11 Guest No, they will come in. They will come in. Sometimes they're coming in with their mothers. We've had some patients coming from Saudi Arabia, they're bringing their daughters in to have the procedures. But yeah, that's true that some patients will have to go to the groom's choice to determine whether or not she's a virgin.

6:30 Adam Hey guys, can we agree at a certain point that some cultures are crappy? Can we just agree on that? Do we have to play the politically correct card all the time? Aren't there just certain cultures that kind of suck? Wouldn't you say that'd be one of them?

6:43 Drew Is that a horrible, horrible culture?

6:46 Adam Put the towel on the head and kill the wife and send them in to get a new hymen attached.

6:51 Drew Very open and lightened way of looking at things. But how do you actually do that? This is what people have always asked me. Where is the tissue coming from that you're putting across there?

6:58 Guest Okay, so actually what's going on is that there is, we are, there's hymenal remnants that are there.

7:04 Drew You just pull those in?

7:05 Adam They're always, oh really?

7:06 Guest Yeah, we are denuding a very small edge of the hymenal remnant and then we are using absorbable sutures, fine, as the human hair, to bring the, reconstruct the hymen.

7:15 Drew Does that pull apart sometimes?

7:17 Guest It doesn't pull apart. And primarily what we're trying to do is just, we wanna be very, very natural. And if you actually see a patient who comes into the office and she is, she's not sexually active, you will see that the hymenal rings are very tight. And it's rare to see the hymen intact in this day and age because of sports and organized gym and sports and so forth. But if we do, we will see the lower third. So we wanna be very natural and we will bring back the lower third of the hymen.

7:43 Adam Oh my God.

7:44 Drew You're shaking your head, Dr. Loveline.

7:45 Guest I got a lot of problems with this stuff, guys.

7:50 Guest Okay.

7:50 Guest I'm sitting here listening to Making It Natural. Yeah. Couple of problems. Number one, we are taking 18 year old women and operating on their vaginas to make them more natural. We are taking women who have had children and tightening them up to make them more natural and make them more sexually gratified. And while there is no question as a gynecologist with 25 years of practice, I agree that there are some instances where you can have a gaping vagina and you have a problem there. I'm not sure the laser would do that. You may need to do, you know, real regular colparaphy on it. But to put out that women can be rejuvenated, in other words, their vaginas can be rejuvenated, means that women will look at this who may have been perfectly reasonably happy and say to themselves, hmm, I probably should have this done to have my vagina look younger and look more aesthetically pleasing. Now my problem with that is who the hell looks down there, okay? I mean, you know, you remember the old joke of the guy who woke up one morning and he said, God, I feel absolutely wonderful. And he goes and he's brushing his teeth and he looks in the mirror and goes, oh, God, look at me, I look terrible. He gets dressed, he's walking down the street, his friend sees him. He says, Mike, you look awful. He says, yeah, I know, but I feel great. So he's really perplexed by this. He goes in the doctor's office. He tells Doc, I don't know what it is, but I feel great. And the doctor says, yeah, but you look awful. Doc says, just a minute here. Okay, I'm going to look this up in a medical textbook. So he's looking through looks awful, feels awful. No, no, looks good, feels good. No, no, no. Ah, here it is. Looks awful, feels great. Says here, you're a vagina. Now, let me ask you.

9:59 Adam That's not an old show.

10:00 Guest Who is, who is looking down there?

10:03 Adam Well, I have, now, I have seen movies where there are guys who would look down there and, and.

10:08 Guest Well, everybody kind of looks, okay, and kind of feels around and kind of does things around, depending on how graphic you want to get. But nobody sits back and takes a flashlight.

10:19 Drew But don't, don't, don't challenge this guy. Be careful, you might get a little judgment.

10:23 Adam Listen, I, I, I'm not a big fan of the vagina visually myself, as you know. And I, you know, I've, there's women who have more attractive vaginas than other women. But, you know, on the list of parts, maybe the ass, the nose, the eyes, aesthetically, the vagina falls down in the teens somewhere.

10:46 Drew Unless we have women calling about the, the inner lip problem that really disturbs them.

10:50 Guest I, I, as I've said, there are certain instances, no question about it. If I see patients with really heavily flowing labia that are interrupting their ability to achieve any kind of sexual pleasure, even penetration, when there's penetration, it's painful.

11:04 Drew Or even just aesthetics. I mean, that's unpleasant for the young girl.

11:08 Guest But when you say aesthetics, that's when we, we, we get a little uncomfortable. And I say that because are we, as opposed to, you know, on your website, it says you're empowering women. I'm worried that we're kind of enslaving women with this kind of thing. Because look at the cultures that mandate this, as you were talking before. You had the Chinese culture, the ancient Chinese who used ben lo balls to tighten their concubines' vaginas. Was that what that was all about? And also to tie their ankles together, too. If a woman wants to have something like this done, I'm more concerned about why she wants to have it done. What about her body image is making this a problem for her? Unless she's got, as I said, the maybe 10 percent of folks who really have a problem.

11:58 Drew Couldn't you say this of any of the or many of the cosmetic repairs that are being done?

12:02 Guest Absolutely.

12:05 Drew I've always said that I believe that when our culture is dug up by our archaeologists, they're going to find women with these silicone sacks on their chest and go, oh, some sort of a burial ritual. They must have never heard of them that they were put in during life, ever, no way.

12:20 Adam Dr. Altman, I'm just curious, where do you come down on gender reassignment?

12:26 Guest You mean whether my city should pay for it if their public employee wants it like it's going on in San Francisco?

12:32 Drew Ethically. The people that perform gender reassignment surgery is what Adam does.

12:36 Guest I have a problem with that.

12:38 Adam Yes, good. I do too.

12:40 Drew You have a problem with them?

12:40 Guest I have a problem with them.

12:41 Drew Let's see what Dr. Matlock says.

12:43 Guest We can go to Thailand.

12:44 Guest Personally, I mean, if that person wants to have that done, I really don't have a problem with it.

12:53 Adam What if I came to you and said that I believed my right hand was possessed and that it kept picking at me and attacking me and flying police officers, the bird, would you cut it off? I mean, it's possessed. I truly believe it. Wouldn't you just say I needed some psychiatric work?

13:10 Guest Yeah, well, I mean, that's a completely different situation.

13:11 Adam Well, I said my penis needs to be cut off. That's something that doctors will do. I never understand that. I never understand the one-year evaluation before you lock the guys' Johnson off. That always seems like a very, very ridiculous time spent for me. But listen, I don't want to go there. I'm going to switch subjects. I just want to ask one more question. We'll go to some calls. I'm curious. We're talking about the aesthetic part. We're talking about putting the hymen back, essentially. But what about the rejuvenation in terms of the feeling for the man? How does that? Now, I'm curious. I'm curious what we're talking about tightening it up.

13:47 Drew Do they report considerable improvement in feeling?

13:50 Guest The women do report considerable-

13:51 Drew For the woman and the man?

13:52 Guest For the woman and the man. For the woman, because we get a lot of feedback also from the, obviously from the partner, but I mean, obviously being an obstetrician, gynecologist, our concern is with the woman.

14:03 Drew The part patient.

14:04 Guest Right.

14:05 Drew Is this mostly vaginal changes from delivery?

14:09 Guest Primarily from childbirth, that's correct.

14:11 Adam And this is a business that is up quite a bit from, let's say, five years ago, right?

14:17 Guest Absolutely. That's correct. All right.

14:18 Guest Now we'll go ahead.

14:20 Adam I will take some calls and don't worry, we got plenty of time to talk. Hey, the man shows on right now, by the way. I just forgot about that. Comedy Central. Oh, Jessica.

14:32 Yeah.

14:32 Adam You're 18.

14:33 Caller Yeah. Like everything, it only happens when I get my period, but not every month. I get like severe anal cramps, like my anus hurts like I'm getting frontal cramps.

14:47 Drew Okay. Hold on, gentlemen.

14:50 Guest Anal cramps are, you're feeling them in your anus, and what's happening here is that your uterus is cramping. When many women get menstrual cramps, some of them will feel it into their legs, their thighs, some even lower.

15:05 Drew Now, the thigh and leg thing is the round ligament irritation.

15:08 Guest Well, round ligament or some women just feel their uterus down there.

15:12 Drew Now, why would this not trigger thoughts of endometriosis or other extra uterine?

15:16 Guest That would be another concern. But there have been patients with no endometriosis whatsoever who notice this more rectally than they do abdominally. But endometriosis, which is the lining of the uterus growing elsewhere, like in the wall of the intestine and the colon, can be a problem as well.

15:37 Caller Like when I get my pepsumers done, I remember on the show, Dr. Drew was saying how it's common for the doctor to go in your vagina and in your anus, but that's never happened to me. He never goes in my anus. He only goes in my vagina.

15:52 Guest You know, what I would say, it really depends upon your gynecologist and it depends upon the situation that you're under at that particular point to determine whether or not he needs to do what we call a rectal vaginal examination.

16:03 Drew If you remember that, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm almost freaked out that our doctor believed he was doing something inappropriate. And I was telling him, no, that's part of a thorough pelvic exam.

16:11 Guest Also depends on the age of the GYN. The older the GYN, the older the gynecologist, the more rectal vaginal exams are going to be.

16:18 Drew Really?

16:18 Caller Yeah.

16:19 Guest Oh, really?

16:19 Drew Man, I was too old.

16:20 Guest They grew up on that stuff.

16:22 Drew That's what we were, I was trained on that.

16:23 Caller Yeah.

16:24 Adam Oh, I was, we had the anus myself.

16:26 Drew Yeah, that's what's scaring me.

16:27 Adam Drew, you were trained on the anus?

16:29 Drew Rectovaginal.

16:30 Adam Rectovaginal. That's, that was my plan from the word gop. Hey, Jessica.

16:35 Drew They made a big deal out of that one.

16:37 Guest They did because they wanted to avoid putting fingers in the vagina, especially with pregnant women.

16:42 Drew No, but they were always giving us this business. You get the septum between the vagina and the...

16:46 Adam Oh, Drew, did you ever do that on a cadaver?

16:48 Drew This?

16:49 Adam Yeah.

16:49 Drew No, live people.

16:50 Really?

16:51 Adam Just live people? What would be worse, dead people or live people with that?

16:55 Drew Some live people are worse.

16:56 Adam Yeah, yeah.

16:57 I'd go dead.

16:58 Adam Sure. It's, you know, I mean, it's weird, but it's not as uncomfortable, especially, you know, if you're alone. Maybe it's a weekend. Paul.

17:08 Yeah.

17:08 Adam Paul, you're 31.

17:10 Caller Yep.

17:10 Adam What's up?

17:11 Caller Oh, well, I just wanted to ask the doctor about these headaches I keep having.

17:18 Adam Well, we got a whole bunch of doctors tonight, so go ahead.

17:20 Caller Okay. Well, it only seems to happen while I'm masturbating.

17:25 Drew And when you climax or just while you're masturbating?

17:27 Caller Yeah, right about the climax time or like right before it. Yeah.

17:31 Adam Maybe the lighting is not good and you're trying to read The Hustler and you're squinting and that can happen. It happened to me when I drive and masturbate. And sometimes when I look at pornography and I'm on a bumpy road, I have to really focus and I'll get a headache.

17:47 Caller Trying to focus on too many things, I guess.

17:49 Adam So what are you looking at?

17:51 Guest We might have a different view of that. What I mean to say is that with the act of ejaculation, there's an awful lot of neural stimulation going on. There's also a lot of blood flow going to the penis. Blood flow goes where it's meant and where it's needed to go. And the brain is really very efficient when it does that. When you're eating, it goes to the intestine. When you're masturbating, it's going to go to the penis as well. Sometimes that can drain blood from elsewhere, although that's not going to be a big deal. Other times it can set off what we call a vasovagal reaction. An vasovagal reaction, which some men have when they urinate, can cause this kind of headache.

18:37 Drew It makes you feel like you want to pass out, that kind of thing, too.

18:39 Adam Is that swooning, basically?

18:41 Drew What about migraine? Maybe anything with vasospastic?

18:44 Guest Prostaglandin, possibly, a prostaglandin effect.

18:46 Drew But nothing in women that people think of when they think of headache with intercourse or with orgasm.

18:52 Guest Women with headache is estrogen withdrawal really frequently, not something that we see frequently during orgasm.

19:00 Adam Hey Paul, maybe Paul should see a doctor.

19:04 Drew Yeah, I think you should Paul, not a bad idea. I remember reading an article about this once where they did talk about it occasionally being associated with aneurysms and things and so it's something that if it's associated with any other neurologic symptoms definitely needs to be checked out.

19:16 Adam He'll have to beat off in the doctor's office, right, in order to sort of recreate it.

19:20 Drew That will encourage him to go on it.

19:22 Guest It'll be like a sleep study.

19:23 Drew Yes, it's a...

19:26 Adam That's what a sleep study would turn into if I was involved with one. I'll tell you that right now.

19:31 Guest You called it a wet sleep study.

19:33 Adam Joey you're 15.

19:37 Caller Last year at my physical, the doctor told me to give myself examinations to see if I had any changes in my testicle area.

19:51 Drew That's good. That's good.

19:53 Caller The other day I felt like a pebble thing there.

19:57 Drew Well, get back to your doctor. Now you've detected something. It may or may not be anything. Pebble, hard rock like pebble, that kind of thing is stuff definitely to pay attention to. And you know, maybe you found something. And if you did, you found something very early and will be curable, I assure you.

20:11 Guest You know, this is a good point to bring up about self-breast exam as well as self-testicle exam because the idea is to learn first what normal is. And it takes a while to learn what normal is because there's lumps and bumps in the breast, the lumps and bumps normally in the testicle. If a doc has done this and tells you it's normal, then you go and you learn over a year or so. So what does normal feel like? And then you pick up something that's different and then you go get it checked out. So it's a good point.

20:40 Drew We've never made that point. That's a good point about it.

20:42 Adam Yeah, it is. Yeah, I guess if you don't know something, how are you going to know what the average and normal is?

20:48 Drew That's basically how doctors are trained. They see a zillion normal and then they see sick.

20:54 Adam How about me just resting my sack on the camping flashlight, the lantern kind, the big high watt ones and just sort of, what do they call that? What illumination?

21:04 Drew Translumination. How about you then hold a screen above it and see what kind of patterns develop?

21:10 Adam Yeah, see if I see Orion's belt up in the bathroom ceiling.

21:13 Drew Yeah, an animal or something.

21:14 Adam Interesting. All right, more stuff to do. Should we take a break? Let's just say hi to Melinda, who's 24. Melinda?

21:23 Yes.

21:23 Adam What's up?

21:24 I have a four-year-old daughter, and she, last Thursday, was at daycare, and she witnessed a little boy die.

21:32 Guest What happened?

21:34 They just started the investigation, but he just stopped breathing.

21:38 Drew Oh, my God.

21:39 Adam All right, well, hang on a second. Do we want to finish this one up here? Yeah, let's finish it up.

21:44 Caller All right.

21:45 Drew Does it mean it was just a sudden thing? He didn't choke?

21:50 You know, really, we don't know. My daughter just tells us, she saw, she just said that he was crying and he stopped breathing.

21:57 Adam But why does your son know he's dead, though?

22:01 My four year old daughter.

22:02 Adam Yeah. I mean, why does your four year old daughter know he's dead?

22:06 She was there in the police.

22:07 Drew And why did they take the kid away from?

22:11 Adam Clear everyone out, have the paramedics and say, you know, he's sick, he's going to be away for a little while. Same stuff you tell them when the cat kicks off, you know, he went to the ranch.

22:20 Really? That's never what I never really thought of that. She just, it wasn't, she didn't even act like anything had happened.

22:28 Drew Well, she doesn't have a way to process it, really. The school should be providing counseling for this sort of thing, this sort of, because there's a risk of all sorts of little reactions.

22:36 See, it was just an in-home daycare, it wasn't at school.

22:40 Adam Well, isn't it better, though? Is this better at four than it is at ten or eleven? I think it is.

22:47 Drew Sometimes it is, sometimes it's worse. You know how those things are.

22:50 Adam See, but as a four-year-old, I just don't know if you could process that fully.

22:55 Drew You can't, but sometimes all sorts of fantasy can fill in.

22:59 Adam Like someone's coming after you?

23:01 Drew Yeah, it's a real threat to her, something's going to happen like that to her. I would urge you to have at least somebody just talk to her just to see if a therapist can evoke, even in play therapy, some opportunity for her to express herself. She can't do it in words and she won't be able to respond when you speak directly to her, but people are trained in helping kids express feelings after traumatic events should be helpful. It might not be more than just a visit or two, you know?

23:25 Adam It's still not too late to play the BS card. It isn't. Santa took her somewhere, took the kid somewhere, you know, to the North Pole or something. I'm not kidding. I mean, the kid does not have to know the other kid died.

23:39 Drew I agree with you, but it's sort of the cat's out of the bag, and why not take this opportunity to make sure there's no trouble from it?

23:44 Well, I got a call from a detective who wants to have her come in and wants to talk to her about, and that's my main concern, because I don't want, I don't know how I feel about her going in and having...

23:58 Adam Well, why do they want to be with you?

23:59 Guest I wouldn't let her go in. Why the hell does a detective need her for?

24:03 Adam Well, maybe they suspect foul play. They think that the providers of the daycare center may have done something.

24:11 Drew Even more reason to have a therapist. Maybe that person could go with her if it's something that she's required to do.

24:15 Guest Yeah, I wouldn't let her go alone.

24:17 Adam Listen, I did that play therapy when I was like eight or nine or something.

24:22 Drew Oh, for God's sake. No more play therapy. I refuse to allow anyone have that.

24:26 Adam Let me tell you kids who are listening. You want a gig even better than a government gig? Play therapist. Here's your job. You sit on an undersized chair while some kid plays with clay. And then you just watch him. You just watch him. He makes an ashtray and you go, how did that make you feel? And he says, I don't know. And you go, all right, this session's over. That's it. That's what you do as a play therapist. You just, you never question. There's a six or seven year old kid who's wetting his bed, who's sitting there playing with clay. And your job is just, you're basically getting 70 bucks an hour just to sit there, make sure the kid doesn't swallow his wallet or something. That's it. You really, I don't know what, what the hell can they tell the parents? I mean, unless you got an extraordinary cage where the kids have nightmares and really freaking out and yelling about killing and stuff, basically the kid sits there and draws and you watch it. You could really get anybody. I go to the side of the freeway, get a Mexican, sell an orange, sit them right in there, get the same goddamn results. Same results. Yes, Mr. Dodd. You work with clay. It is a non-job, everybody. Therapist before you can speak is no good. Therapy like before ten, useless.

25:32 Guest We have a special number for therapists to call instead of this line.

25:37 Adam Yeah. And most of them are wacko, right?

25:40 Drew No.

25:41 Adam My dad is a therapist. He is no prize.

25:44 Drew And you certainly are a great example of the outcomes of play therapy. Yes, indeed, there are some failures out there.

25:49 Adam You know what you want to know the truth is, is I worked with clay and then I became a ceramics major in high school. That was the manifestation. I swear to God, I was a ceramics major. I learned to work with clay at eight years old and then I carried that into my teen years. Fantastic.

26:04 Drew You were making toilets there, obsessing about these things. You were in there for a wedding, you're bad. I mean, what do you expect?

26:09 Adam How dare you?

26:10 Drew They were interpreting this for you.

26:11 Adam How dare you bring this up on the air and try to humiliate me in front of my doctor? Dr. David Matlock is here and also Dr. Alan Altman. They both have been around just millions of vaginas and if you have any questions about rejuvenation or anything that's going on with yourself inside or out, give us a call.

26:30 We'll be back.

26:49 Guest You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio.

26:52 Caller 100.7 The Buzz.

27:03 Hi, this is Tori Amos, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

27:09 Adam Yes, you are. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We're talking about vaginas tonight. We have Dr. David Matlock and Dr. Alan Altman.

27:21 Caller David Matlock is the founder and director of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center, and Dr. Altman is a, I'm going to forget that assistant.

27:32 Adam He's a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology. He did the reproductive biology at Harvard Medical School. These guys, really, there's more vagina knowledge in this room than I believe anywhere else on the planet right now. Who knows what goes on in the old vagina? Oh, that's my song. The old vagina, the old vagina.

27:54 Guest You may, all right, all right, please.

27:56 Adam You may want to pipe that into the waiting room. John Drake is reporting from... Everyone at ease. Nice minor song about vaginas. All right, so we're talking all about rejuvenation and just anything that has to do with that particular area. Pam?

28:13 Yes, hi.

28:13 Adam You're 45. What's up?

28:15 Yes, hi. Dr. Drew? Hi. I'm a DES daughter and I was reading somewhere where I'm supposed to, when I have a pap, ask for a clear cell. Pap?

28:29 Drew You want to know what that's all about?

28:30 Adam All right, hold on.

28:32 Drew What's a DES daughter?

28:34 What is it?

28:35 Adam What is it?

28:36 Okay, back in the 50s, my mother was going to have a miscarriage and the doctors gave her some kind of medication and they're calling the daughters and the sons.

28:49 Drew Diethylstilastrol.

28:51 Adam This is Agent Orange for chicks basically, right? This is their version of that.

28:55 Drew No, it's actually a little more legitimate.

28:57 Adam Well, Agent Orange is legitimate. And so, did it harm you or are you aware of it?

29:06 I'm not sure of any harm or anything. Well, I was just told, I just read that you're supposed to ask for clear cell pap smear, that we're supposed to have a special pap smear.

29:19 Drew Here you go.

29:19 Guest Pam, have you had any children?

29:21 No.

29:21 Guest Okay. Did you try and have any children? No. Okay. What you actually want when you're a DES daughter, have had some, even a question of DES exposure, is not so much a clear cell pap smear, but a pap smear of not only the cervix, but four quadrants of the vagina. And that means taking, a pap smear is basically like sticking your nail in your mouth and scraping your cheek and getting cells from it. And you look under the microscope, that's really what a pap smear is. And with DES prior exposure in your mom, they're suggesting that you get more widespread pap smear basically. It's not called a clear cell pap smear. What they're looking for is clear cell adenocarcinoma or some kind of cancer of the vagina, which you don't have. But they're looking for signs of that or precursors of that. But I will say in most of the women your age, nowadays we're moving a little bit off and away from that, because that was very concerning in your 20s and 30s, and we're finding that these changes are not occurring in the 40s and beyond. So it's still a good idea to follow it up.

30:36 Drew So the ones who we had screened during their 20s, the ones who moved past that are not in the kind of danger we thought they were at that level. Not at that level.

30:44 Guest All right, Pam.

30:45 Okay.

30:46 Guest There you go. Yeah.

30:47 One more question. Okay, I don't have my vagina anymore because I had a hysterectomy.

30:54 Drew You don't have your vagina anymore?

30:55 I mean, not my vagina, my uterus.

30:57 Drew Yes. There you go.

30:58 So now they would have to look at the cervical more so.

31:03 Drew No, the cervix is gone too. But would they still need to screen the vagina?

31:06 Guest Is your cervix gone?

31:08 I'm not, you know, I don't know.

31:10 Drew Remember, she just confused vagina and uterus.

31:12 Guest Right, right. So if your entire...

31:14 I don't know what vagina is, but...

31:15 Guest That's okay. If your entire uterus is gone, meaning the uterus and the cervix.

31:20 Okay.

31:20 Guest Then you should have a pap smear from the top of the vagina every three years. Unless your uterus was removed for a cancer, which I hope it was not.

31:30 Drew This is for the recommendation for all women or DES?

31:32 Guest All women. All women.

31:34 Drew Until age?

31:35 Guest Until age.

31:36 Drew Age what? Because I know after 75, there's all kinds of babies.

31:39 Guest Well, after 75, they're talking about every three years and women with the cervix. I would say every three years.

31:45 Drew In the medical literature, they're saying, don't do it anymore. Well, Medicare is sort of getting on board with it.

31:49 Adam Let me explain something here, gentlemen. Dr. Alan Altman over there, it's sort of like, oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm sorry. I thought I confused you too. It's like what Jiffy Lube does. They say you should get your oil change every 3,000 miles. And then you look at the manual for your car and the car says six or 7,000 miles. And you think, well, why does Jiffy Lube want it every 3,000? And then you realize that's their business. That's how they make money.

32:15 Drew Let me come to your defense. In HMOs right now, the less frequent the doctor sees you, the more money they make. So you want them not to be seen.

32:24 Guest Really?

32:25 Drew I mean, that's how HMOs work.

32:27 Guest That's very true. Let me also say that you mentioned Medicare not paying for it.

32:31 Drew For PAPS.

32:31 Guest Patients get a little bit taken by this and they get a little bit confused. They are told Medicare will not pay for your PAPS mere except every three years. And then they say what that's translated to them is I don't need a PAPS mere except every three years. Medicare does not set medical practice. Medicare is in the business of money and of trying to survive. You need a PAPS mere once a year. If you've had totally negative PAPS mere, there's some talk about maybe every other year, every three years, even when you're in your 40s and 50s, never mind over 70. But let's not confuse what Medicare wants with what's good medical practice, as I know.

33:10 Adam How much is a PAPS mere these days if it's just got to come out of someone's pocket?

33:14 Guest It used to be about 30 bucks. Now they're up about 60 because there's a newer PAPS mere over the past couple of years called a thin prep.

33:22 Adam That's pretty reasonable as far as medical procedures go. I mean, our tests, our evaluations, 60 bucks?

33:29 Guest Well, remember, there are how many women in this world, in this country between the ages of 17 and 70? That's a whole lot of people getting one test.

33:40 Adam Yeah. Well, I was surprised. I thought you were going to say it was 200 or 300 bucks.

33:44 Drew Again, if you're Medicare age, it's 35 bucks.

33:48 Adam Yeah. I mean, that's that's really makes me wish out of a vagina just to cash in on that kind of discount testing.

33:55 Guest It really sounds great to figure out somewhere to do a gender change on you if you want.

33:59 Adam Yeah. Reassignment like that bus driver in San Francisco is now getting the city to pay for his penis to be taken off. And by the way, isn't going to be a worst bus driver when he becomes a woman?

34:11 Caller Really?

34:13 Adam Women are worst drivers, are they not?

34:15 Caller Thank you, Drew.

34:16 Drew When he gets the Estrogen, that will do it. It's not just having the Johnson off, it's being exposed to the Estrogen.

34:20 Adam Kelly, you're 22.

34:22 Caller Hi.

34:23 Caller What's up?

34:24 Caller I get my period every two weeks now.

34:27 And I used to be on the pill, but that was a year ago. I quit taking it last June. And I thought it was just because I stopped taking a pill, but it's been going on for obviously quite a while now.

34:41 Guest Yeah. Kelly, you have a situation most probably of having irregular ovulations or no ovulation at all. This is a kind of situation that you should see your gynecologist for.

34:55 Drew Does having been on the pill set her up for that in any way?

34:57 Guest Not at all. Not at all. In fact, being on the pill...

35:00 Drew Should stabilize it.

35:00 Guest Frequently, not only stabilizes when she's on the pill, but when she has come off the pill, there's still good ovarian function because it's been resting for so long, and then it starts to screw up again.

35:11 Drew Is there any... The fact that she... Presumably, according to her history, she did not have it, then she was on the pill, now she's got it. Does that suggest anything else?

35:20 Guest Nothing specific. She might have had a little bit of what we call hypothalamic amenorrhea or dysfunction of the cycling mechanism. The mechanism that controls the cycle is not working so well.

35:32 Adam That's it.

35:33 Guest All right.

35:33 Adam So Kelly should do what?

35:35 Guest She should seek her gynecologist's help in doing some blood tests and just making sure there's nothing wrong with the thyroid, nothing wrong with the pituitary.

35:44 Drew She gained a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight.

35:46 Guest Good point. Good internist point.

35:48 Adam Has anyone put together a PAMP Smear mobile yet? Like the book mobile, like the blood mobile.

35:56 Drew Like the HIV mobile.

35:59 Adam Do they have an HIV? It's a pink Miata though, that doesn't count. I mean, I'm talking about an actual facility.

36:05 Caller An RV.

36:06 Adam Yeah, do they have one of those?

36:08 Guest Now I know why you have security out front.

36:10 Caller Oh, yeah.

36:11 Drew Oh, yes. And the problem is everyone wants to kill me.

36:15 Adam Yeah. What are you doing sitting there and letting me say how it's for?

36:19 Drew That's the deal. How dare you allow him? Like you can stop him.

36:23 Adam Well, that's a funny joke, though. The HIV mobile is a pink Miata. That's a good comment. But is there such a thing? I mean, it seems like one of the biggest problems this country has, forget about Pabst Mears, is just contraception for young women. That whole area down there, which a lot of women don't understand. A lot of people who come from a different, certain places in this society who may not have the money or the means to take care of things. Can't we bring it to them? Can't we do something like that?

36:57 Guest I'm absolutely fascinated by your use of the term that I hear from time to time, down there.

37:03 Adam Down there.

37:04 Guest That's great. Anyway, it's more than just a Pabst Mear. The Pabst Mear is important, but it's also an entrée into dealing with all the other stuff whether it be contraception, family planning, whether it be some sort of counseling for relationship problems, whatever it is.

37:22 Adam But the argument still remains that a lot of these people, we talk to them every night, they just won't go out. They're scared. They don't have money. They don't have to initiate anything.

37:30 Guest They would have to go out for your Pabst Mear mobile. And probably within their neighborhood, the horn within their neighborhood, they've got a community health center. This probably help.

37:40 Adam Maybe a Pabst Mear shuttle mobile or something. I could just shuttle them with the horn.

37:44 Do you want to play a tune?

37:46 Adam I don't know.

37:47 Guest What is the music that the horn would play?

37:51 Adam There's that Alice Cooper song, Only Women Bleed.

37:55 Guest How about Nobody Does It Better?

37:57 Adam Nobody Does It Better. For starts, we'll just start with the Mexican Roach Coach to Cucaracha song. Because why embarrass them? Right. Why alert the whole neighborhood as to what's going on? People think they're just going out for like a chimichanga or something.

38:14 Drew Nice.

38:14 Adam All right.

38:15 Drew You're the only one offended now? Let's take a break.

38:17 Adam I think that's a good idea.

38:20 Drew We know you do.

38:20 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. The Doctors are in tonight. We'll be back with your questions after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there, the one with the kooky ideas. Oh, yes. Drew is out of his mind tonight. He has a boner because we have a couple of doctors here.

39:18 Drew Is that what I have?

39:19 Adam You're very excited to have a couple of doctors, usually a bunch of guys in here smoking weed and talking about nailing hookers on the road. Right. Which is compelling, but this is really exciting for you. Dr. David Matlock is here. He's the founder and director of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center. Still, well, I had thousands of questions for him now. I'm down to about 1800.

39:44 Drew Do you want to give out your phone number over there?

39:47 Guest Our phone number?

39:47 Drew Yeah.

39:48 Guest Phone number to the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center of LA. It's 310-859-9052.

39:55 Drew And that's Los Angeles. If people are calling from other parts of the country, can they get referrals in their various facilities?

40:00 Guest Yeah, absolutely. But I mean, we have a 888-888-80-OBGYN. They can reach us throughout the nation toll free.

40:08 Drew 888-OBGYN.

40:10 Guest 888-80-OBGYN.

40:12 Drew And then, Dr. Alan Altman.

40:14 Guest There you go.

40:15 Drew And your book is?

40:17 Guest Making Love The Way We Used To, or better?

40:21 Drew And that's really a book about midlife biological changes.

40:24 Guest 35 and over, biological changes, relationship changes, affairs, viagra use, all sorts of that. Body image, which is, you know, I mean, body image is real important.

40:34 Adam I'll give you my assessment of Dr. Altman. Good guy, probably embarrasses the hell out of his kids with the vagina stories.

40:41 Drew How did you know that?

40:43 Adam Really? I know. Oh, Christ, not the thing with the mouth and the vaginas at the different ages. I'm going to go. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Dad's had a couple of glasses of Chardonnay. He's getting in the vagina. Talk again.

40:56 Guest Yeah, we had a hell of a dinner table.

40:59 Adam I bet. And I want to ask another question about rejuvenation. How long does it take? And it may vary, but how long to do the Hymen restoration, for instance?

41:11 Guest The Hymen?

41:11 Adam Average.

41:11 Guest Average about 20 minutes.

41:14 Drew Are you asking for how long?

41:15 Adam I'm going to get one.

41:15 Drew How long for the Hymen to heal or how long to do the procedure?

41:19 Adam I thought it was the kind of thing that might take place over a few visits or something. Do it in one.

41:24 Guest No, it's a 20-minute outpatient surgical procedure.

41:28 Adam And how long does one have to stay off the vagina after that?

41:31 Guest We ask the patients to abstain, obviously, from sexual intercourse for six weeks.

41:36 Adam Or until the Arab guy marries him.

41:38 Guest That's correct.

41:39 Guest And let's look at that for a minute. Let's look at that for a minute. It's real bothersome, probably to these women, if they stopped and thought about it. Why am I doing this? Am I doing this because I need to show that I'm a virgin in order that this man's family and this man will accept me?

41:59 Drew Yes, that's what they're doing.

42:00 Guest I mean, that's just downright enslavement. That's outrageous, but it's cultural and we can't argue with a cultural thing.

42:07 Drew It's the parents.

42:08 Guest I can't.

42:08 Drew It's a horrible culture. But it's the parents of the women that are really having locked in.

42:13 Guest It's just outrageous and then they're having something done that exposes them to risk, which they certainly wouldn't need to face otherwise. Now, it's not great risk, certainly, but it's still risk and there's risk of infection, there's risk of pain afterwards, a little scarring afterwards. It's rare.

42:32 Drew Dr. Matlock?

42:33 Guest It's possible.

42:33 Drew Do you have a different opinion?

42:34 Guest Well, I have a different opinion of that. Our procedures are very, very safe. We have had no particular complications with the procedures at all. It's an outpatient surgical procedure.

42:46 Guest Do you have data on this?

42:47 Adam It's 20 minutes. Come on.

42:49 Drew Do you feel the women are being disempowered or taken advantage of by the cultural attitudes? Or do you just feel that that's their culture and that's their business?

42:59 Guest That's their culture. That's their business. We would think differently if we were actually in their culture. If you're in my office and you see some of these patients come in and they're hysterical and they're saying, are they going back to the Middle East or back to Iran? They say, Doctor, I need to have this done or I can have bodily harm done to me. There's a lot of social, cultural, and religious implications.

43:25 Guest Well, it sounds like the government should do that for free, then.

43:28 Adam But look at it this way. I mean, not that I want to argue for putting the hymen back, but I work with a good-looking blonde lady who's marrying a Jewish guy and just spent four hours talking to a rabbi over the weekend because she's got to convert for the marriage. She couldn't be less interested in spending four hours with a rabbi, but it's a cultural thing.

43:47 Drew So what you're saying is it would be easier to have a 20-minute hymenoplasty and convert it into Judaism. Is that what you're saying?

43:53 Adam I would rather spend 20 minutes in the stirrups than six months meeting, killing a goddamn Sunday with a rabbi studying the Torah. I mean, think about it. Get it all over with. There's a lot of bizarre cultural stuff that goes on. This involves surgery, but really, 20 minutes? I'd do it.

44:14 Caller All right.

44:15 Adam All right. Thank you. Marshall?

44:18 Caller Yes.

44:18 Adam You're 23? What's up?

44:22 Caller Well, I had a question. My girlfriend had been suggested to her by her gynecologist that she have a surgery to loosen up her vaginal opening.

44:35 Guest Yeah.

44:36 Caller Because she is quite tight and he uses, has to use a pediatric speculum on her and such.

44:43 Drew Do you have sex with her?

44:45 Caller Yes.

44:47 Guest That's telling.

44:48 Adam And how are you downstairs? Are you bigger and average?

44:53 Caller I'd say I'm average, but when we started, it was uncomfortable for her.

44:58 Adam And what's, is that pediatric speculum? Is that like Donald, that dude of mine, like Donald Duck? Do you know what I'm talking about? Just the device?

45:05 Drew Goofy's nose, yeah. Goofy's nose or Donald Duck's?

45:07 Guest Yeah. Of course. Well, Donald Duck would be too wide. We're talking about one of the little guys.

45:13 Adam Well, a shrunken down version of that.

45:15 Guest But was she having pain when you have sex with her now?

45:20 Caller No, no.

45:22 Drew Does she need the pediatric spectrum because she freaks out when she's having a pelvic exam?

45:28 Caller No, I was led to believe that it was because of discomfort and her size and such.

45:35 Drew And yet when you have intercourse, there's no problem.

45:39 Caller There isn't now. There was at the beginning. Um, and she is still just in, in the tone is, is very noticeable.

45:51 Guest Well, how long has she been sexually active?

45:54 Caller For about nine months.

45:56 Drew How old is she?

45:57 Caller She will be 19 this month.

45:59 Adam And, and does a woman, you know, does a woman loosen up down there when she becomes sexually active?

46:03 Drew Sure.

46:04 Adam Oh yeah?

46:05 Guest Yeah. She should, she should not contemplate any surgery. I wouldn't.

46:09 Adam Okay.

46:09 Drew Um, at what point would you guys come by surgery?

46:12 Guest I wouldn't contemplate surgery.

46:13 Guest Oh, not at all. No, no.

46:14 Drew But what if she were having difficulty of penetration? There was an anatomic problem there.

46:18 Guest Dilators.

46:19 Drew Dilators, not surgery.

46:21 Adam So is a dilator something you take home?

46:23 Drew Acrylic dilators.

46:24 Guest Yeah.

46:25 Adam Glass, glass rods.

46:27 Drew Yeah, basically.

46:28 Adam Dilator. That's a butt plug. What are you talking about? Hi, Marshall.

46:33 Drew So everybody says no surgery.

46:35 Adam Lubrication and a couple of wine coolers and some dilators. Patients. Patients.

46:42 Caller I just had one other quick question adjoining that. Would it have an increased incidence of problems at childbirth?

46:52 Guest No.

46:54 Caller If she were to go through a surgery or something like that, I'm going to have her talk with her gynecologist to re-evaluate. And she hasn't really.

47:03 Adam Well, would they give her c-section if she was a small person down there?

47:07 Drew Well, there is that what you call that cephalopelvic disproportion. Does that actually exist?

47:13 Guest It's got nothing to do with the vagina.

47:15 Drew Oh, really?

47:15 Guest It's got to do with the bones of the pelvis.

47:17 Drew The pelvic outlet. Oh, interesting.

47:19 Adam Drew learning something. Feeling good. How much, Dr. Matlock, how much for a Hymen rejuvenation?

47:27 Guest It's $3,800, all-inclusive of the Surtees Center, anesthesiologist, surgical assistant, surgeon, and follower.

47:33 Caller Yeah.

47:34 Adam 20 minutes in. Nothing. Nothing for one of them OPEC nations.

47:38 Drew Your, your Hymen can be restored.

47:40 Adam I'd like my behymen put back. How much for that? How about I offer myself up as a guinea pig and you do me a freebie? My vaginas the size of a 50-gallon drop.

47:51 Drew Of course, they're gonna need like a sheep shear specialist to get in there.

47:56 Caller Right? Yeah.

47:57 Adam Some guy from New Zealand in a bad hat.

48:00 Caller Right.

48:00 Drew A guy that does sheep shearing for a living. All right.

48:02 Adam We got the doctors in tonight talking all about the vaginas and everything. So we'll be back after this.

48:11 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:12 Adam We'll be right back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Alan Altman and Dr. David Matlock are both here. Not in that order. Tonight, we're talking about vaginal rejuvenation and all the stuff that has to go on with the gynecology. Also, Dr. Altman is the author of Making Love the Way We Used To or Better, which is find on amazon.com and all the bookstores and right. Not as many pictures as I'd like to see in a book. None at all, as a matter of fact. I'm pretty disappointed in that. But the words seem to be in order. Drew has skimmed through the book. Drew can read a book this big. What is this? 300, 400 pages?

49:39 Drew 12 minutes.

49:40 Adam He can read about 10 minutes, right?

49:42 Drew Yeah, about that.

49:43 Adam Yeah. And if I'm talking, how long does it take?

49:46 Drew Six hours. But if, why don't we continue our discussion about emergency contraception? We started having a talk about it before we...

49:52 Adam Off the air.

49:53 Drew Yeah, off the air.

49:54 Adam Yeah.

49:54 Drew And I was saying, because this is a topic near and dear to our heart, and I was saying that I believe, if I read the literature correctly, that the predominant effect of that pill is its effect on ovulation, and that the issue with implantation is really not significantly different than the same effect from Vioxx and Celebrex, and the pill taken normally. What do you guys think?

50:17 Guest The lower level pills, such as the 20 microgram pills, allow ovulation in 18% of patients who take them. And they're still extremely as effective contraceptive wise as are the 30, 35, and 50 microgram pills.

50:33 Drew Meaning that they impair implantation.

50:35 Guest They impair cervical mucus production, which can prevent not only penetration of sperm, but also nourishment of sperm, which is a very important capacitation and stuff like that.

50:46 Drew That makes sperm ready to penetrate.

50:48 Guest And the lining as well.

50:52 Drew So indeed, if people were going to attack emergency contraception for, because of its effect of implantation, they should also be talking about the birth control pills, particularly low dose pills.

51:03 Guest Low dose pills.

51:04 Drew And certain anti-inflammatories.

51:06 Guest But remember that there's more to contraception than just the lining or than just the prevention of ovulation.

51:12 Drew I understand that, but there are certain powers that be that choose to take issue with emergency contraception. And when you really nail them down on how these pills work, their real problem is that we're treating kids after they've had sex. That's the problem. Not that there's anything really different about them.

51:30 Adam Well, one of those Bible thumpers ever been interested in science. You know what I mean? These are guys who are still looking for the arc. You know what I mean? What kind of scientist is here? He rose from the ground and Noah built an arc and they turned the water into wine. They're not dealing with scientists.

51:47 Drew If we were going to logically talk about eliminating emergency contraception, we should be talking about getting rid of all contraception.

51:53 Adam These people aren't interested in making sense, Drew. They're interested in writing letters.

51:57 Drew Our government should be interested in making sense.

51:59 Adam We're worried about the idiot's voting form.

52:01 Guest There is something new that we have been dealing with as gynecologists, and that is in prescribing emergency contraception. The patient then goes to the pharmacy and she is told by the pharmacist, I will not give it to you, and that outrages me.

52:18 Drew Listen, how about Wal-Mart getting rid of it entirely? Because it's an abortion pill, but you did not.

52:23 Adam Well, wait a minute, they had to make more room for ammunition in the gun department, police had nothing to do with a moral decision.

52:30 Drew It was just part of the self-clearing.

52:33 Guest Yes, all right.

52:35 Adam And listen, if there is any, who were we talking about before? Oh, the pharmacist. Listen, you lackeys, you do what the doctors tell you to do. Please, you guys are a bunch of flunkies who couldn't make it to medical school. Who are you kidding? You're right. They're really...

52:51 Guest Adam, I got to disagree with you here. There's some awful good pharmacists out there.

52:55 Adam No, if they were good, they'd be doctors. They're really right up there with chiropractors, which is it just quacks. They couldn't cut it in medical school, so they had to take another avenue.

53:06 Drew Ladies, please don't call.

53:07 Guest Blood-proof vests are in our hands.

53:08 Drew I know, we got security guard there with a gun. But please don't call with complaints about it, please.

53:12 Caller Well, you know, the chiropractors, nothing you couldn't get at a good massage parlor.

53:17 Guest Speaking of vaginas, we should mention something about vaginal muscle tone and things.

53:25 Drew Actually, we have a Kegel question. Let's ask about that first. Let's take that one. That's good.

53:30 Adam Gina?

53:30 Yes, this is her.

53:31 Adam You're 37. What's up?

53:33 Caller That's correct. I just want to know if Kegel exercises really work.

53:37 Guest I think Dr. Matlock and I agree that they are a big waste of time by themselves.

53:43 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

53:44 Guest By themselves, because if you went to the gym and you wanted to work your bicep and you flexed your arm 100 times without a weight, without any weight at all, you're not going to build that bicep. If you put the weight in your hand, which is resistance to what you're doing, you'll build a bicep. There are vaginal weights now. You can put weights, not dumbbells. He's the dumbbell that you put in the vagina. But what I'm talking about are little tear-shaped weights that you put in the vagina that you use 15 minutes twice a day. You feel the urge to hold the weight in, and that's doing a Kegel against resistance. You get to a point where you no longer feel that urge, and then you go to the next weight, the heavier one.

54:29 Drew How heavy do they go?

54:30 Guest They go probably about 60 pounds.

54:34 Drew 60 pounds.

54:34 Adam Well, they max out at 60. They start at 25, but they max out at 60. No, they don't.

54:38 Guest They really don't. We're talking about the heaviest weight is probably 50 grams, which is pretty light. By the time you no longer feel the urge to hold in the tightest weight, then you've done some good work as far as muscle tone.

54:55 Adam So where does one get these weights, by the way?

54:57 Guest You can get them online. You can get them in medical catalogs. I will tell you, since I didn't know whether this program was on TV or radio, I spent Sunday mid-morning with my 25-year-old son going to every sex store in Los Angeles looking for these weights and nobody had them.

55:15 Drew Wow, that's interesting.

55:17 Guest They had Benoit balls, which was the origination of these weights a long time ago.

55:21 Drew Can you use those?

55:22 Guest Well, you can, but those are relatively heavy. They don't have a little tampon string attached like the weights do.

55:29 Drew I'm a Dr. Coop employee, so maybe we can get that on that website going. Seriously.

55:33 Guest You got it.

55:36 Drew These are useful for women.

55:38 Adam Would one have to stand to use these weights?

55:40 Guest Yes, you have to stand. And you want to wear undergarments, you want to wear panties so they don't fall out and break your toe, but they're not that heavy.

55:47 Guest You know, I think what you would find, and what we have heard from some women or women throughout the nation and other parts of the world, that they will say that, you know, kegels don't work. We've heard this time and time again. And sometimes the women can be so relaxed that, as far as I'm concerned, you would need surgery to correct all this relaxation.

56:08 Guest You couldn't even keep the weight in sometimes.

56:10 Drew Those are multi-multiparous women, though, right? Many babies.

56:13 Guest Correct.

56:14 Drew Now, we get calls from men who claim that they intensify their orgasm and can control orgasm when they do kegels.

56:21 Guest Well, kegels for men are the same thing that when a male ejaculates.

56:26 Drew Yeah, yeah. It's the same muscle.

56:27 Guest Really.

56:28 Drew But they're not looking for strengthening the pelvic floor. They're looking for control and intensity.

56:33 Guest Well, they're basically holding back. You hold back using your muscles or you hold back, what we used to say, thinking baseball.

56:39 Drew Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me how the spinal reflexes are held back just because you're contracting the muscle. Yeah, I don't think so.

56:44 Adam Hey, Gina.

56:45 Caller Yes.

56:45 Adam So do you want to get these weights now?

56:47 Caller Well, I'd be interested in finding out how to. So if Dr. Drew is going to find some research and post on his website.

56:53 Drew Yeah, I'm going to try to, okay?

56:54 Caller Is that drdrew.com?

56:55 Guest Go to Yahoo. I will.

56:56 Drew I will.

56:57 Guest Go to Yahoo and type in vaginal weights and you'll get a number of sites.

57:02 Drew Use a search engine.

57:03 Adam Yeah. You can also use a one gallon milk container. Don't fill it up all the way to the top at the beginning, about half full and then work, put a glass in every week. That's the way I do it.

57:14 Caller Okay.

57:15 Adam All right, Gina.

57:17 Guest Yeah.

57:17 Caller The long term. So long term they do work and based through your with resistance. Okay, cool.

57:24 Guest By the way, by the way, you need to once you've gone up to weight number five and you've got reasonable strength, you need to do that once a month for three or four days, put number five in again to maintain it. It's like weight lifting where if you stop, you lose the tone.

57:40 Caller Got it. Okay. So once a month.

57:42 Drew How many kids have you had?

57:44 Caller Three. But two were normal and with episiotomies and the other one was cesarean.

57:50 Adam All right. And you know it's time to graduate to the next way. The test is I think you have to pop the cap on a root beer. That's how you know. That's what it said, at least on the website.

58:03 Guest It's that you could.

58:04 Adam That's it.

58:04 Drew You know, it's time to stop for the regular pop top. I see.

58:08 Guest I wonder, can I lose my Harvard professorship being on the air with him?

58:12 Drew You know what? You can share my experience of walking around feeling like you should have a bag over your head.

58:17 Adam How dare you?

58:20 Drew I know you're a genius.

58:21 Adam Thank you.

58:22 Drew I was actually telling someone a story about how you before I started speaking at colleges by myself, how you told me that you were such a genius. Only when I went by myself would I realize how you carried me. That's right. Very true.

58:35 Adam And now that's come to fruition, right? You've gone out on your own.

58:39 Drew It's been a terrible failure. Thank you. No, it's been a raging success.

58:43 Guest Sure it has.

58:44 Adam Miyaka?

58:44 Caller Hi.

58:45 Adam What's up? You're 21.

58:47 Caller Yes. I was calling me because I wanted to know, I have an 8-month-old daughter and I want to know how long does it take for your body, you know, for your vagina to close back up and does it ever go back to normal where you never had a baby?

59:01 Drew First baby?

59:02 Caller Yeah.

59:03 Guest Well, you know, the, what we will say is that the genital urinary tract will return to normal six weeks after your delivery. But I mean, if you feel that, do you feel that you have vaginal relaxation?

59:17 Drew It's different than when before the baby?

59:19 Caller Yeah, because like me and my boyfriend, we did it probably about three months after I had her. And he said it was like, it didn't feel tight. It felt like open.

59:31 Guest I think it's fair to say that when we use the term gets back to normal, that doesn't happen. It doesn't go back to normal. It goes back to a new state of normal, potentially. But once things are stretched, first baby, it can, it can. But it depends on what kind of problem she had in delivery, what kind of episiotomy, or if not what kind of scarring in the whole deal, how big the baby was.

59:53 Adam Let's talk percentages for a minute. First child, a young woman, I know it varies. But basically, six weeks after the delivery, could you be at 80% or can you put it into a percentage?

1:00:08 Guest I don't think you can really put it into a percentage. What we say is that the genital urinary tract is back to normal.

1:00:15 Drew It springs back.

1:00:16 Adam Right. But never back to what it was? No. It depends on the person.

1:00:21 Caller That's what I want to know.

1:00:22 Guest No, it doesn't. And remember that you have, especially if you have an episiotomy, you've got scar tissue there. Now, a scar tissue can, the cut can heal. It's never quite as elastic and as returning back to where it was as normal tissue. So just like your abdomen is always going to have that little bit of a puff down below because you stretched it before, vaginal changes occur too that are perfectly natural and normal. The question is, you know, if you need somebody like David here, if things are so abnormal, so wide and so distorted, then...

1:01:02 Drew We have some males that make a big deal out of this.

1:01:05 Guest Well, that's what I was talking about before.

1:01:08 Drew I understand that. Miyaka, is that right? Miyaka. Miyaka. But we have men that are sort of, I don't know, unrealistically demanding about that.

1:01:16 Guest Well, let them go and get their penises fattened as opposed to getting the vagina tight.

1:01:20 Drew Believe me, they would if it really were. Yeah, we get that all the time too.

1:01:23 Adam You guys get busy on that.

1:01:24 Guest Leave the vagina alone.

1:01:27 Adam You guys just seem to know your way around a vagina, but I say let's stop wasting time on that. I mean, that's territory that's been explored over and over again. Let's work on fattening that penis. I mean, really, that's what the money is.

1:01:41 Drew I know, Adam, you would spend a fortune on that. It's been a great fancy of yours, but relax.

1:01:45 Adam Well, I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind a little extra.

1:01:48 Drew I know that. I know. It's all right.

1:01:49 Guest Do you know that if you lose 30 pounds, you will gain one inch in penile length? This is from a gynecologist yet.

1:01:59 Adam Really?

1:01:59 Guest Yeah.

1:02:00 Drew Well, that's what you've always said.

1:02:01 Guest Well, you have a fat pad in that mons, and if you slim it down, if you lose that kind of weight, it sticks out.

1:02:07 Adam Yeah, I've always said that. I've likened it to trimming the high grass around your male box, which is it's not that your male, it's not that the pole got pulled out farther.

1:02:18 Guest Good for you, Adam.

1:02:19 Adam The grass got lower, and it looked, gave the illusion that it was sticking out further. Look, you see fat guys at the gym, they have no penis.

1:02:27 Drew I've always said that the estrogen levels drop too. The adipose is creating estrogen, and maybe there actually is some change in penile size.

1:02:33 Guest Lose weight, lose weight, not too much.

1:02:35 Drew Exercise.

1:02:36 Adam Yeah. All right. Also, if you do vertical striping on your penis, it'll look longer. So I had my penis wallpapered, the pinstripe, it wasn't, it's worked. Yeah. Julie?

1:02:52 Caller Hi.

1:02:52 Adam You're 27, what's up?

1:02:54 Caller Yes, hi. I had a question actually for the doctor that has the, the center. Yeah. As far as female mutilation goes, could you repair that?

1:03:06 Caller No.

1:03:07 Guest You know, some of those problems are very, very difficult. And unfortunately, we have had some patients come to us, but it's very, very difficult. And we really don't try to approach that.

1:03:18 Caller Really?

1:03:19 Guest Should we explain what that is?

1:03:20 Caller Yeah.

1:03:20 Drew Yeah.

1:03:21 Guest What that is, what we will see for female mutilation, we can see that probably in certain particular cultures, such as some African cultures where they do very certain things to the clitoris, to the labia. I have seen patients where the labia are completely removed, maybe a portion of the clitoris is removed.

1:03:45 Drew Sewn up?

1:03:46 Guest Sewn up. So it's very, very difficult to work with.

1:03:49 Adam But isn't there, I mean, couldn't you go from, you know, horrible to bad? I mean, there are people that work on this. Are there not?

1:03:58 Guest That's correct.

1:03:59 Guest But primarily what we would like to do is just refer them to, say, a university sitting or someone who has some experience in dealing with this.

1:04:08 Guest Harvard actually has a group working with that as well.

1:04:10 Drew Well, now, I've only read about this. I've not seen it, but my understanding is that the orgasmic functioning and arousal functioning tends to be normal in almost all these cases. Is that accurate? But the big issue is the penetration and the actual comfort of the sexual act is affected by what's happened to them.

1:04:26 Guest I'm not aware that in all cases the orgasmic function is the same. In fact, I think there can be pain and quite a bit of pain, at least in some cases, maybe not in all the cases. But we're talking in many cases about slicing off the clitoris and the labia.

1:04:43 Drew Well, the Journal ran a huge review on this about four years ago and maybe three years ago and the thing that I took away from that review was that they did all the different kinds of general relation out there and that they didn't find orgasmic function was altered even in the complete clitorectomies.

1:04:59 Adam Well, wouldn't it make sense, I mean, you're talking about sort of mechanically, but emotionally we talk to people that have been scarred and certainly a young lady who goes through this may have difficulty with the orgasm just on an emotional level.

1:05:13 Guest That's correct.

1:05:14 Adam Another wonderful cultural exercise there. All right, Julie, did anything happen to you?

1:05:20 Caller No, no, it was just a question of curiosity.

1:05:24 Drew So Harvard at the Women's Hospital or where?

1:05:26 Guest At Brigham and Women's Hospital.

1:05:28 Adam All right, Julie.

1:05:29 Caller Thank you.

1:05:29 Adam Thank you. Let's talk to Bobby who's 23, Bobby?

1:05:34 Caller Hey, how are you doing, guys?

1:05:35 Adam What's up?

1:05:36 Caller Real quickly, tongue is green in certain areas, like a light colored numb and there are bumps here and there, like white bumps, haven't had oral sex in about eight months.

1:05:52 Drew I don't know why guys, if they have a medical problem, they immediately have to think in terms of-

1:05:56 Adam I was calling the loveline.

1:05:58 Drew Well, listen, Bobby, are you on medication? No, no, no. You haven't taken any antibiotics lately or anything like that?

1:06:03 Caller No, sir.

1:06:04 Drew Nothing lately, huh?

1:06:05 Caller No, sir.

1:06:05 Drew And are you otherwise healthy, any medical-

1:06:08 Caller No problems.

1:06:09 Drew No problems. And does your tongue hurt or burn?

1:06:11 Caller Well, it kind of stings like it's- No.

1:06:14 Drew Your biscuit's driving a yeast infection. Do you have no dental work or anything strange like that going on lately?

1:06:18 Caller No, sir.

1:06:19 Adam Don't doctors look at your tongue to sort of evaluate your health sometimes?

1:06:23 Drew Do you smoke cigarettes?

1:06:26 Caller No, I smoke cigars but like once a month, but rarely. No, I smoked pot about two months ago.

1:06:35 Drew Chewing tobacco?

1:06:36 Caller No, sir.

1:06:38 Drew Because usually yeast with tobacco is what gives that dark or green color to it.

1:06:42 Caller It's kind of, it's a yellowish cycle.

1:06:44 Drew Yeah, talk to a doctor, go to a doctor, figure out what's probably a yeast infection, figure out why you're having a yeast infection.

1:06:50 Caller It could be from kissing a growl or something.

1:06:52 Drew No, it is nothing, one thing I will tell you, it has nothing to do with your relationship with Adam.

1:06:56 Adam Hold on, Drew, he fingered this chick in the 8th grade. Is there any correlation? No.

1:07:01 Drew Just get some, make sure there's nothing medically going on causing this, right?

1:07:05 Caller Is there anything else?

1:07:05 Drew You're not a drug addict?

1:07:07 Caller No, no, no, I don't know that.

1:07:09 Caller Hey, hey, Adam?

1:07:10 Adam Yeah?

1:07:10 Caller Love the man show, man.

1:07:11 Adam Well, thank you.

1:07:12 Caller Keep it going, dude.

1:07:13 Adam We certainly are doing that.

1:07:14 Caller Take care.

1:07:15 Adam Take care of yourself. Let's talk to Chrissy, who's 15. Chrissy?

1:07:19 Hi. Um, I have like severe pain on either side of like where my ovaries should be. Hello?

1:07:27 Adam Yeah.

1:07:28 Drew And, um, where there, but they are not now. You don't have, you don't have ovaries there?

1:07:33 Caller No, I mean, I do. It's like, it's like, there's a lot of pain there. It started on Friday. I was at my friend's house and I woke up at like three in the morning and there was just severe pain on my right side in my lower abdomen. And my parents and I thought it might be my appendix, but then it switched to the left side.

1:07:53 Drew It still could be your appendix.

1:07:54 Caller Huh?

1:07:55 Drew It still could be your appendix.

1:07:56 Caller Really?

1:07:57 Drew Yeah, but let's see, gynecologically, um, where is it, Chrissy?

1:08:02 Guest Yeah. Chrissy, where are you in your cycle?

1:08:05 Caller Um, I just finished menstruating last Tuesday.

1:08:08 Guest And you, last, this past Tuesday, you finished menstruating. Yeah. Which was, uh, a week ago. Yeah. All right. And is the pain still bothering you?

1:08:17 Caller Um, it hurt for a little bit on my left side earlier tonight, and it stopped now.

1:08:23 Guest Well, it sounds like it's less than it was a couple of days ago.

1:08:26 Caller Well, yeah, I'm not crying on the couch, so that's that.

1:08:29 Guest Well, it sounds a little less. You probably ought to get it checked out.

1:08:31 Drew It still could be appendix.

1:08:32 Guest Yeah.

1:08:32 Drew Absolutely.

1:08:33 Caller Cause I thought you were supposed to, like, vomit when you...

1:08:36 Drew Chrissy, Chrissy, please stop being the doctor. Get this checked out. It could easily be appendix.

1:08:41 Adam Well, who's she going to? Not a gynecologist?

1:08:44 Drew Go to the emergency room.

1:08:45 Adam Really?

1:08:45 Drew Go now.

1:08:46 Adam Now?

1:08:47 Drew Now.

1:08:47 Adam Really?

1:08:48 Drew Now.

1:08:49 Adam She seems like she's had less pain.

1:08:50 Drew I understand, but there could be abscess formation. She could get sad and fast. It could be a disaster.

1:08:55 Guest Yeah, go to the emergency room. At least get an ultrasound. They'll do that and they can take a look for you.

1:08:59 Adam Yeah.

1:08:59 Drew Okay?

1:09:00 Guest All right. Thank you.

1:09:01 Adam All right. Good times. Oh, my God, that emergency room. I went to emergency room once. I sat there for, like, three hours and left.

1:09:08 Drew You know what?

1:09:09 Adam I don't remember what it was that I was going about the emergency room.

1:09:13 Drew Very different.

1:09:13 Adam Oh, it was? No, no. This was another one. This was one in Sherman Oaks where she was calling from, actually, the county when I sat there for six hours. They were x-raying my ankle. It's like after six hours, I was praying to Christ that my ankle was broken. Like if I sat here for six hours with a sprain, I'll kill myself. I hope there's a compound fracture. I really was praying for that x-ray to come up. A couple of good breaks in there. Yeah. All right. We will take ourselves a break. The doctors are here tonight and we'll be back with Claudia's 27. His information on Cagle Cones. Will I talk to her after this?

1:10:31 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to The Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10:38 Guest Yes, you is.

1:10:40 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. David Matlock is here, and also Dr. Alan Altman are here, and they're both know more about vaginas than God. They really do. I've never met anyone who knew as much about vaginas.

1:10:58 Drew The guy didn't like to look down there.

1:11:00 Adam No, he did his inventing, and then they moved on to lepers or something. I didn't get all that straight, but I know he's a busy man. Claudia?

1:11:10 Hey, Adam.

1:11:11 Adam Hey, you're 27. What's up?

1:11:13 Caller I'm calling because I found this really great book called Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. It has some information on the Kegel exercises and the cones and stuff. There's two different things that people can use or women can use. There's Kegel cones and there's Kegel weights. So I guess traditionally the weights were like these oval shaped little balls. So cones are used now. So I have a bunch of 800 numbers on the way.

1:11:38 Drew Well, in the book? Yeah.

1:11:41 Adam Are the cones, hold on, are the cones being used as weights? Yeah. Because we're talking about cones earlier is a way to stretch out.

1:11:50 Guest The cone is the shape of them, but they're all weights.

1:11:53 Caller And so they're used for Cagel's because it says that what happens is they help to strengthen something called the...

1:11:58 Drew Cagel Cone sort of rolls off the tongue, you think, too.

1:12:00 Adam I got one of those at Dodger Stadium last week at the large...

1:12:03 Drew Dodger Dog and the Cagel Cone.

1:12:04 Adam Large Cagel Cone. Why don't you give me a $30 medium-sized beer.

1:12:10 Drew Dodger Dog.

1:12:11 Adam Yeah. You know what I love? I know it has nothing to do with this show, but I love the angle at these ballparks, which is, listen, we charge $8 for 12 ounces of beer, people won't get drunk.

1:12:22 Drew Great.

1:12:22 Guest That's great.

1:12:23 Adam Yeah. Rape us so we won't get loaded. Fantastic. So you want to give some number out where people can get these?

1:12:31 Caller Yeah. Is that okay?

1:12:31 Adam Yeah.

1:12:32 Caller Okay. It's called the Samina Cagel Cone Kit, and it's available through the Phillips Products and Services at 1-800-705-5559, and it's offer NF020.

1:12:46 Adam Yeah. How much does this cost?

1:12:48 Caller It doesn't say on there, but I mean if they grab the book, then there's like a whole list of resources, and it's a really great resource for women to learn all about their vagina.

1:12:57 Guest The cost of the cones are anywhere from $40 up to $120, $130, and there's really not much difference between them, so try and stick with the $40. Yeah.

1:13:06 Adam Stick with the cheap ones. Hey, Claudia, have you used these cones?

1:13:10 Caller No, I haven't actually, but I figured I'd call and give you guys a heads up on where to get them.

1:13:15 Adam All right. All right.

1:13:16 Caller Have a good one. Bye, you guys. I love your show.

1:13:17 Caller Thank you.

1:13:18 Adam I picked myself up a case of those cones on the way out tonight. I'm a waffle cone guy. I like that.

1:13:25 Caller Sugarcone.

1:13:26 Adam Oh, you're sugarcone? I like the waffle. That's me. Tanya, you're 31.

1:13:31 Caller Yes, I am.

1:13:32 Adam What's up?

1:13:34 Caller This is kind of an odd question, maybe. But I was wondering, it seems like when I have sex with somebody who's more well endowed, that my vagina is not as tight automatically versus somebody who's smaller.

1:13:52 Caller Somebody who's smaller overall feels tighter on my end.

1:13:57 Caller And I don't really see it. It's like backwards of how it should be.

1:14:00 Drew Well, maybe there's a point at which muscle stretches, if not as able, the force of contraction is less. Is it something like that with the vagina?

1:14:08 Guest Well, I tell you that it's unusual to hear what she's saying. It's very, very unusual.

1:14:13 Adam She's saying a bigger penis, it feels less tight.

1:14:17 Caller Yeah, and I'm not just making this up. I usually don't call it a radio talk show. It's kind of fun, but I mean really, you know, that was the subject.

1:14:26 Guest So, yeah, no, it's I have not heard that frequently. I suppose what Drew is saying is very reasonable that you can get a stretch beyond a point where you have less of a feeling of tightness. But again, it's just, it's unusual.

1:14:42 Adam Yeah, I'd like to get to that point just once. All right, Tonya.

1:14:46 Well, thank you.

1:14:47 Adam That's you. That's your vagina. It's going to be the name of Alan's next book.

1:14:50 Thank you for knowing about it for me.

1:14:52 Adam Well, you thank these guys and thank the parents. Well, they brought you here and I'm sure they steered you toward medical school. Is that Sonya?

1:15:03 Caller Sonya? Sonya, huh? I want to ask the doctors what they think about the herbal supplements that are supposed to increase your breast size. Do they work?

1:15:15 Guest You know what? What I would do, I would be very, very cautious about these particular types of supplements that you can buy just at the health food stores because some people can get in trouble using these particular types of things if you don't really know exactly what's in it. So I wouldn't do that.

1:15:35 Drew There's a lot of it being advertised for breast enhancement now. Yeah.

1:15:38 Guest ISIS.

1:15:38 Adam Know what I like?

1:15:39 Guest It's ISIS.

1:15:40 Adam All doctors hate herbs.

1:15:41 Guest I like that.

1:15:42 Adam They really do. They go to med school to have some quack from the orient.

1:15:46 Caller This is a multi-billion dollar, totally unregulated industry in this country.

1:15:52 Guest We now have studies demonstrating that what is on the label is often not in the jar. What is in the jar is frequently not also on the label. It is a bit of a leap of faith. There are products like Yohimbine and Yohimbine being used. There are products like L-Arginine. There are products like Ginkgo Biloba, products like DHEA that are being touted. But we have no real good studies on these.

1:16:23 Drew Now, there's also this craziness of these creams increase clitoral blood flow. You heard about this crap, Dan?

1:16:31 Guest Oh, this is from the New York Magazine.

1:16:35 Adam So, Sonya, the answer is no.

1:16:37 Drew Yeah, well, the answer is no. If there really were something that worked safely, we would know about it. I imagine some of these must have estrogenic effects.

1:16:45 Guest Well, some of them are testosterone creams, but that usually is prescription-wise.

1:16:49 Drew So, but this stuff for the clitoral engorgement, is that anything? And by the way, if there were something that really did, let's say, Viagra use for women, that doesn't necessarily correlate with sexual arousal in women, does it?

1:17:03 Guest The use of Viagra in women and in men affects the same result, and that is an increase in blood flow to the genital organs.

1:17:11 Drew Not arousal.

1:17:12 Guest Not, well, arousal is part of increase in blood flow. Not libido, not desire, no, not at all. Unless you get more arousal and orgasm, therefore you desire it more, but it's purely towards blood flow to the, oh, you know what the female sex organ is called?

1:17:28 Drew The brain.

1:17:29 Guest No, aside from that, male sex organ is, most important sex organ in the body is the brain. The male sex organ is called the penis. What is the female sex organ called?

1:17:39 Adam Purse.

1:17:40 Drew Wallet.

1:17:41 Guest New, new, new word, the Clygeva. That's really? The Clygeva, the clitoris, G-spot, and vagina.

1:17:48 Drew Oh, my God. Oh, boy.

1:17:50 Caller That's nice.

1:17:52 Adam The Clygeva.

1:17:53 Guest Terry?

1:17:54 Guest Yes?

1:17:55 Adam You're 27?

1:17:56 Guest Yes.

1:17:56 Adam What's up?

1:17:58 Guest A week ago, I got the vagina tightening, and my stitches came out already, and I was just wondering if I should maybe call my doctor.

1:18:08 Drew You mean you had a episiotomy after delivery or something?

1:18:12 Guest No, no, no. I just went and had it done.

1:18:14 Guest What did you have done?

1:18:17 Guest Well, he went and he made it smaller. He did surgery, and I was on it for like two hours.

1:18:21 Guest But do you have children?

1:18:24 Guest I have a son.

1:18:25 Drew You have a son after one delivery?

1:18:27 Caller Yes.

1:18:30 Guest But did you have any problems with stress incontinence?

1:18:33 Drew Were you paying when you coughed?

1:18:35 Guest No.

1:18:36 Guest No. Did he just work on the bottom part of the vagina, what we call the posterior part and outside, the perineum?

1:18:42 Guest No, on the inside and the outside.

1:18:46 Guest Why did you have it done?

1:18:48 Guest I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I never really have sex or anything like that a lot, but I don't know, it's something I just wanted to have done.

1:18:58 Adam Hold on a second. Terry, what kind of nut job are you? What the hell is going on with your vagina? How long ago? Let me talk to this Terry. I'll straighten it right out. How long ago did you have your child?

1:19:11 Guest Oh, he's six. He'll be six this year. All right.

1:19:14 Adam So it's been quite some time.

1:19:15 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:19:16 Adam And no children since?

1:19:17 Guest No.

1:19:18 Adam And do you have a man in your life?

1:19:20 Guest Yes, I have a boyfriend.

1:19:21 Adam And how's he doing?

1:19:22 Guest Oh, he's well. But we don't have...

1:19:25 Adam Why not?

1:19:27 Guest Why not what?

1:19:28 Adam Why aren't you having sex?

1:19:32 Guest I don't know. I just don't... We're both really busy.

1:19:35 Drew No, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

1:19:37 Adam Terry, what happened to you? Something? Someone molest you?

1:19:40 Caller No, no way.

1:19:41 Adam What happened? Alcoholic dad?

1:19:43 Caller No, no, no.

1:19:43 Adam Who beat on you? Where's daddy?

1:19:45 Guest Fully clean.

1:19:46 Adam Where's dad?

1:19:47 Guest Who knows?

1:19:48 Adam There you go.

1:19:49 Drew Now we're talking about...

1:19:50 Guest Oh, not even.

1:19:51 Adam Yep.

1:19:52 Guest No, no, no, no.

1:19:52 Adam When's the last time you saw him?

1:19:54 Guest Who, my father?

1:19:54 Adam Yes.

1:19:57 Guest About seven, eight years ago, maybe.

1:20:00 Drew What was that like?

1:20:01 Guest Wait, my father?

1:20:02 Adam Yeah.

1:20:03 Guest Oh, he's totally cool.

1:20:04 Adam Well, what happened?

1:20:05 Drew Why is he in your life?

1:20:06 Adam Is he incarcerated?

1:20:07 Guest No, see, well, my parents are in another state. They're not here.

1:20:11 Drew Well, why is he in your life?

1:20:13 Guest Who, my parents?

1:20:13 Drew Your dad.

1:20:14 Guest My father?

1:20:15 Adam Hey, hold on, Terry.

1:20:17 Drew Yeah.

1:20:17 Adam Are you high right now? Are you just having trouble tracking in general?

1:20:20 Guest No, I'm not high. I'm normal.

1:20:22 Adam All right. Well, then stop acting stone, please. You know what we're talking about? We keep adding, you know, where's he? If we say, listen, when's the last time you talked to your dad and then we say, where's he? Assume we're talking about your dad. Screw balls. Call the show, try and give me a goddamn aneurysm with all this double talk. Now, what's up? Why'd he leave? What'd he do to you?

1:20:44 Guest He'd have done to me.

1:20:45 Adam Really? What'd he do to your mom?

1:20:48 Guest Nothing. Well, he smoked a lot of weed.

1:20:49 Drew All right.

1:20:50 Caller Kicked him out of the house.

1:20:51 Drew All right. So marijuana addict. All right.

1:20:54 Adam Now we're starting to get somewhere. Now, why aren't you having sex with your boyfriend? Don't give me that schedule answer.

1:21:02 Guest I don't know.

1:21:03 Adam How long has it been? How long has it been?

1:21:06 Guest About four months.

1:21:07 Drew Don't you think it's kind of bizarre he hasn't brought that up?

1:21:10 Guest Well, if he was here, he probably would.

1:21:13 Drew Where is he?

1:21:13 Caller He travels a lot.

1:21:15 Guest I'm so sorry. Schedules don't really meet.

1:21:18 Drew No. Not acceptable.

1:21:19 Adam Now, and then you want to have this surgery. It's like going in and getting your car detailed and putting it back in the garage and disconnecting the battery. You know what I mean? It's like, why bother? Why did you have this procedure done?

1:21:31 Guest Oh, my friends, they think I'm crazy. Yes.

1:21:34 Drew We think so, too.

1:21:36 Guest Because I never have sex anyway.

1:21:38 Drew Yeah, it's a crazy thing to do. We take issue with the doctor that would do that.

1:21:42 Adam Unless there's something we don't know about.

1:21:45 Guest Let's really ask you, why did you have it done? Did you see something that made you think that you might want to have it done? Let's really look at this. Why did you have it done?

1:21:56 Guest Well, because it's like the first thing I've probably considered besides any kind of plastic surgery. Like I don't have like boob jobs or anything like that. But there's something about that. I don't know. Just kind of the first thing I've ever really wanted to do.

1:22:08 Guest Why? Why?

1:22:12 Guest That's a good question.

1:22:13 Adam Well did you think you were too loose? Did you have a problem?

1:22:16 Guest Well, I was not. I definitely wasn't. Because I never really had sex that much.

1:22:20 Adam Okay. You see, when you're crazy, you give nonsensical answers that almost strengthen the people who are arguing with you's argument.

1:22:30 Drew Yeah.

1:22:30 Adam That's part of like being wacky. Are you on any medication?

1:22:34 Guest No, I'm totally drug free.

1:22:35 Drew Are you supposed to be on medication?

1:22:37 Guest No.

1:22:38 Drew Okay.

1:22:38 Adam All right.

1:22:39 Guest Carrie, you do understand that we were a little concerned about the fact that you woke up one morning and said, hey, I think I'll have my vagina tightened today. I mean, we're just trying to...

1:22:48 Drew And that you're in such denial about your relationship. There's something disturbed about this relationship, too. You're insane. And you're not questioning it. You're not looking at the reality. And you're engaging in behaviors that don't make sense to other people. Your friends are telling you it's kind of a peculiar behavior. We're taking issue with a doctor that performed a procedure like that and someone that really doesn't need it.

1:23:10 Adam All right. So, hey...

1:23:11 Drew Look into things.

1:23:12 Adam Carrie.

1:23:12 Guest Yeah?

1:23:13 Adam On behalf of your six-year-old, why don't you, you know, look into some therapy and get a little more into reality? You know what I'm saying?

1:23:23 Guest Well, yeah, that's probably something I should look into.

1:23:26 Adam Right.

1:23:26 Guest Yeah.

1:23:27 Adam Save the money you're going to spend on your vagina.

1:23:29 Guest Well, I've already done. It's too late. It's already done.

1:23:31 Guest All right.

1:23:32 Adam Well, now spend the money on your brain and talk to a therapist, all right?

1:23:38 Guest The kind of therapist is going to be important because somebody she might want to see would be a body image therapist, which is something relatively new now.

1:23:48 Adam Yeah, Terry.

1:23:50 Guest Oh, so should I call my doctor because I need the stitches then? That's that's the question.

1:23:53 Adam I really know.

1:23:54 Drew It's fine. Relax.

1:23:56 Guest It's fine.

1:23:56 Drew You're not bleeding. You're not hurting.

1:23:59 Guest No, it just came out and I just brought with that.

1:24:02 Guest You should see your doctor.

1:24:04 Guest I thought I thought it was like kind of too early because it's like a week ago.

1:24:08 Guest Go see your doctor.

1:24:09 Adam All right. And listen, focus on that six year old, please. Oh, this kid could be raised by a family of beaver. I really just go drop them in a river in Oregon. Be better off. Yeah, I got the records. What the hell is going on with this doctor? And I'm sure if we talk to him, he'd tell us whatever. He'd tell us a story that would make us not hate him quite as much.

1:24:34 Drew I'm sure he would put something to it.

1:24:36 Adam Yes.

1:24:37 Guest All right.

1:24:37 Adam We will take ourselves a break and we'll be back.

1:24:42 Guest Hello.

1:24:43 Caller This is Loveline.

1:24:44 Guest 1-800-LOVE-1-91. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio.

1:24:58 Caller 100.7 The Buzz.

1:25:09 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number. We don't want to give that phone number, Drew, it's gonna be more people calling. Dr. Alan Altman is here, and so is David Matlock, both doctors, both experts in the realm of the vagina, or as I like to say, down under. Though Dr. Matlock runs the, he's the founder and director of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Center. And something that sounded a little dicey really, quite frankly, at the beginning of the show, I'm starting to get down with. I now think you're doing God's work. Jordan?

1:25:51 Yes.

1:25:51 Adam You're 17?

1:25:52 Caller Yes.

1:25:53 Adam What's up?

1:25:55 Caller Okay, my vagina is always discharging.

1:25:58 Drew This is a call we get once in a while. There's always a discharge, right?

1:26:02 Caller Yes.

1:26:02 Drew And it's been that way for a long time?

1:26:04 Caller Yeah.

1:26:05 Drew Does it get heavier in around the time of your period? Before your period, that kind of thing?

1:26:09 Caller No, not really.

1:26:10 Caller Like around the time of my period, it like stops.

1:26:13 Drew Okay.

1:26:13 Guest How about does it get heavy right in the middle of your cycle?

1:26:16 Caller Huh?

1:26:17 Guest In the middle of your cycle, kind of two weeks into or two weeks after your period, do you notice that you get it even more?

1:26:24 Guest No, it's not blood.

1:26:25 Caller It's like...

1:26:26 Guest I mean, clear discharge.

1:26:27 Drew Not in the middle of your bleeding, not in the middle of your bleeding cycle, but in two weeks after you've bled. Is that when it's its heaviest?

1:26:34 Caller Yeah, around that time.

1:26:36 Guest At mid-cycle of your cycle...

1:26:39 Drew Our listeners consider cycle when they're bleeding.

1:26:42 Guest Okay, and let's look at the 28-day cycle of which maybe three, four, five days are bleeding. Two weeks after you finish bleeding or 12 days after you finish bleeding, you're about to ovulate. And when you're about to ovulate, Mother Nature wants to make the mucus in your vagina and in your cervix, which leads up into the uterus, user-friendly. And that way, it's kind of very liquidy, and it allows the sperm to get up into the uterus more easily. After ovulation, Mother Nature wants to close shops, so more sperm don't get in to cause problems, and she makes that mucus thicker, so it doesn't dribble out. So you'll get more coming out. And in fact, that's how a lot of women, young and middle-age, know that they're ovulating because their mucus that comes out of the vagina is very sticky, like egg white.

1:27:38 Drew That's the spinbarkite.

1:27:39 Guest Spinbarkite, right.

1:27:41 Adam And that's the thinner form.

1:27:43 Guest That's the thinner form, right. It stretches because it's...

1:27:46 Adam Dr. Altman, let me ask, because we always talk about this, what percentage of women ovulate in that time period, that 12-day to 14-day after the period? Do you know?

1:27:56 Guest All. All those who are ovulating, all women who ovulate, will ovulate approximately day 14 of a 28-day cycle.

1:28:05 Drew So if they're not ovulating, it's the only way it occurs at other times?

1:28:09 Guest No. If they're not ovulating, they're not ovulating.

1:28:12 Adam Yeah, how could it occur if they're not...

1:28:13 Drew Here's your head there, Drew. But, I mean, that's not as...

1:28:16 Guest Do you mean the mucus?

1:28:17 Adam No, no. We've talked to, and again, it's my fault for listening to that doctor. I should talk to some real doctors like you guys over here, instead of this, you know, TV personality, so-called doctor. But we have heard, or at least Drew was feeding me this erroneous information, that women could ovulate, could vary, and do it at different times, even as close as a few days, let's say, after the period. Is that possible?

1:28:43 Guest You can ovulate at different times. The solid marker here is that after you've ovulated, two weeks later, you'll have your period. What varies amongst women as to whether they wind up with 28-day cycles or 35-day cycles, is the time before ovulation that can vary. So somebody can have an ovulation cycle that the whole thing is 28 days, others can have it 35 days, other 32 days, but once you ovulate, two weeks later, you'll get your period.

1:29:15 Adam Okay.

1:29:16 Guest Now there can be women who don't ovulate, who still have somewhat regular bleeds, bleeds, but we don't call that a period because it's not an ovulatory cycle, it's what we call a non-ovulation bleed that happens to be somewhat regular.

1:29:34 Drew And then that person may suddenly release an egg at some point.

1:29:37 Guest Right.

1:29:38 Adam And that's how you get that. That's a problem with the rhythm method.

1:29:41 Guest So that's what Drew's talking about. All right.

1:29:43 Adam Well, he's out of the, out of the...

1:29:45 Caller So this is totally normal?

1:29:47 Guest Well, now, go back to your discharge. Have you seen, have you seen a gynecologist about this?

1:29:54 Caller No, I haven't.

1:29:55 Guest It's probably a good idea because sometimes you can have a mild infection, you can have other problems like that. It's reasonable to take a look.

1:30:02 Drew Now, we've had this call in the past, the women are asking us how can they get it to stop? Would going in the pill make it less? Or is there any other ways that women can produce it?

1:30:10 Guest You know, I think really what they should look at, that this is something physiologic.

1:30:15 Drew It's normal.

1:30:16 Guest Yeah, it's normal.

1:30:16 Drew But they complain it's pads and it's this and it's all month long.

1:30:19 Guest If there's no infection and if they have this wetness, especially mid-cycle, the pill definitely would take care of that because it thickens the cervical mucus just like after ovulation.

1:30:30 Drew Would you hate to see somebody go in the pill just for that?

1:30:32 Guest That's correct.

1:30:33 Adam Sylvie, you're 19, turn your radio down.

1:30:37 Caller I know, I just had him turn it down. Basically, I'm kind of embarrassed by this question. OK, for 18 years, I had been a virgin my whole life. I've never seen a gynecologist, never wore tampons, nothing. And just recently, I've been with my boyfriend about six months and we did not have sex until about a month ago. And we've been doing it periodically, probably like three times a week, four times a week at times. And it's gotten at first really hurt, really bad for about the first, you know, I don't know, four or five times. And now it's gotten to where I can bear it. It is uncomfortable, but I'm not in a lot of pain. But I get no pleasure from it at all.

1:31:23 Adam And you say you didn't have a tampon, is that because you used a pad?

1:31:27 Caller Yeah, I've worn pads, and I never felt comfortable with putting anything up there.

1:31:31 Guest Now, it's very hard to answer this kind of thing just with this kind of much of information and do it over the radio. But number one, I would use a lubricant like Astroglide to make it a little bit easier. Number two, with time it will stretch. If with time it doesn't stretch and you're still getting either discomfort or lack of enjoyment you can go to a dilator by seeing a gynecologist to try and widen it. But I think there's something deeper here.

1:31:59 Adam How about a slimming condom, a girdle type condom?

1:32:03 Caller Well he's definitely well endowed.

1:32:06 Drew Sylvie, you don't want to be having sex right now, do you? Honestly.

1:32:10 Caller Well, yeah, well I know I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life.

1:32:13 Drew Yeah, but you, for you.

1:32:16 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:32:16 Drew You do?

1:32:17 Adam Hey Sylvie, what's going on in the background? The radio again. It's distracting the hell out of me.

1:32:21 Caller Okay, can you turn the radio down?

1:32:22 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry. How stupid do you guys got to be? What the hell is wrong with you people? Jesus Christ. No wonder you're all making six bucks an hour. It's all a simple, simple instruction. Now, let's talk, let's talk about this. Okay. What's up with you and sex? Why so uptight?

1:32:47 Caller I guess I had a preconceived idea of how it would be like.

1:32:50 Adam And it just, you know, now, I mean, why? Why so long? No tampons? You know what I mean?

1:32:58 Caller I'm a pastor's kid.

1:33:00 Adam Now we're getting somewhere.

1:33:01 Caller And I just always felt that, you know, you lose your virginity after marriage.

1:33:07 Guest All right.

1:33:07 Adam So, Drew, what is this called? We've talked about this all the time.

1:33:12 Guest Guilt.

1:33:12 Drew Yeah.

1:33:13 Adam You don't want to give the name, Drew. I'm not asking for guilt, Drew. You don't know this.

1:33:18 Guest I don't know what you're talking about.

1:33:19 Adam She clamps up.

1:33:20 Drew Oh, vaginismus.

1:33:21 Adam Vaginismus.

1:33:22 Drew Well, it's not truly vaginismus. It's just anxiety, really, as we're talking about here. And as what I was picking up on is you really don't want to be having sex. It's not a value. It goes against your values a little bit. You wanted to wait until marriage and you're very uptight about it. You have a lot of anxiety about it. You're not prepared for it yet.

1:33:40 Adam And that's why it's uncomfortable.

1:33:42 Drew You're doing it to please him. That's why you're doing it. He wanted it and you're going along with it. But it's not something you really want to do.

1:33:47 Caller He was willing to wait for me.

1:33:50 Guest Well, another thing is that when you have your first glass of wine, it's OK. And then you start to drink wine a little bit more frequently and tastes a little better. You have to develop a taste for it. You have to learn a little bit about your body and how it responds. Have you ever I'm going to ask you something terrible now. Have you ever masturbated? Oh, yeah.

1:34:11 Caller I mean, I'm able to orgasm and he's able to make me orgasm other ways.

1:34:15 Guest Yeah. Yeah. Well, continue with that and keep trying with it just from the physiologic point of view, meaning anatomic and your body. Keep doing this and don't expect it to be lollipops and roses right away and grow into learning what's important for you and what makes you feel good. But from Drew's point of view, I think, I think it's very right. There's, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on here upstairs in the main sex organ, which is the brain.

1:34:41 Adam All right, Sylvie, you got a late start. You're making up, but just take it slow. And I agree with everything everyone's saying. Just ease into it.

1:34:49 Drew See a doctor, you're sexually active now. You got to get a proper examination.

1:34:54 Adam You know, OK, well, send me out a windbreaker and a certificate for a new Hyman. Compliments of Dr. Matlock.

1:35:01 Caller All right.

1:35:02 Adam All right. Good times, everybody. Show show that I know everything.

1:35:08 Drew Show me to Hyman.

1:35:09 Adam Yeah. Hey, isn't that how how how nature works? You know, you don't put a tampon in for, you know, ten years and then you get Mr. Huge Penis first time out of the shoe. You know what I mean?

1:35:23 Drew Yeah, that's life.

1:35:24 Guest Right.

1:35:24 Drew No tampon.

1:35:25 Guest There should be a program whereby women start with guys who are not so well endowed and work their way up.

1:35:32 Adam Right.

1:35:32 Guest And leaning on you.

1:35:34 Drew I think this work for you there.

1:35:35 Adam Yep. I could get them early. Yeah, that's right.

1:35:39 Drew Be nice.

1:35:40 Adam Just past puberty.

1:35:41 Drew I'm surprised you haven't thought of this before.

1:35:42 Adam Yeah, I'd get the first batch and I wouldn't mind being there. I wouldn't want to be the guy who came in last and mopped up.

1:35:49 Drew Mention the book in the center again, please.

1:35:51 Adam No, we'll take a break and then we'll... Good job. All right, let's give plugs to our two doctors who came out here tonight and did a wonderful job, by the way.

1:36:20 Drew Yeah, thank you. I think it was good.

1:36:22 Adam You guys are really excellent. You really hit the mark. And we do have a lot of so-called experts on this show that don't turn out to really be experts, but not you guys. First off, Dr. David Matlock, if you want to go down, you got a number you can give for the badge?

1:36:39 Guest The badge is on the website, drmatlock.com. And the toll-free number is 8888-0B-GYN.

1:36:48 Adam And that will tell you anything you want to know cosmetically about the vagina area there. And also, Dr. Altman's book is Making Love The Way We Used To or Better. And that is everywhere you get books, correct?

1:37:05 Guest Everywhere or the website is alanaltmanmd.com.

1:37:09 Adam And these guys are the real thing, not the normal quacks we have on this show.

1:37:14 Caller And Dr. Drew.

1:37:15 Guest Thank you.

1:37:16 Adam So, thanks very much, Showman. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:21 Caller Okay, I don't have my vagina anymore.

1:37:25 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkinson Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, May 6, 2001