Episode 1000754886985

11:10 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

11:23 Save Ferris Hey, hey, hey.

11:26 Voiceover Loveline, thanks for turning the mic on. Anderson, appreciate that. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew, board certified internist, and addiction medicine specialist. Our guest tonight is Save Ferris. Monique Powell is here as well as Brian Meshburn. We're glad to have Save Ferris back. It seems like too long. A couple of years? How long has it been? Six months?

11:57 Drew No way.

11:58 Adam You know how to be crap.

11:58 Drew No way.

11:59 Save Ferris It's been at least a year.

12:00 Drew At least a year.

12:01 Save Ferris At least a year.

12:02 Drew When are we going to be in a video at one point?

12:04 What happened to that?

12:06 Save Ferris We never made that video.

12:07 Drew Oh, see Adam?

12:08 Save Ferris The curse.

12:09 Adam No, I just can't take Anderson screaming erroneous information in my ear night after night. Imagine, imagine, it's as if you're playing some kind of bad game show where someone is screaming the wrong answer into your ear while you're looking at the wheel go around. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. When people know about Anderson, he keeps that on a mini cassette so when we're outside smoking and I pop off, he fires it up. You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

12:43 Drew Actually, the last time we saw Monique, we were at the Anaheim pond.

12:48 Adam Yeah.

12:48 Drew Her parents were in the audience.

12:50 Adam That wasn't the last time we saw Monique.

12:52 Drew And you were talking about your vagina on stage. Yes, that's all I remember. And we thought, oh my god, mom, dad, enjoy.

12:57 Save Ferris My parents said that they were in the elevator and they saw you and they just started cracking up. They were like, they were more embarrassed for you than they were for me, I think.

13:07 Adam Yeah, I think you came on the show then after that.

13:09 Drew Yeah, it was right around there.

13:12 Save Ferris That discussion.

13:13 Adam But we love Save Ferris. As you know, I jammed on stage with Save Ferris.

13:18 Save Ferris With the fabulous flugel.

13:20 Save Ferris Yeah.

13:20 Adam Oh, that's right.

13:21 Save Ferris Took out, dusted off the old flugelhorn.

13:24 Adam Got up there and wowed the partisan crowd over there at the Weenie Roast a couple of years back. So this is good. When is, you got a new album maybe coming out in a few months?

13:37 Save Ferris February.

13:38 Adam Now, what are we going to hear tonight? I mean, what Save Ferris music are we hearing on this show?

13:44 Save Ferris Well, someone, someone wanted to hear Come On, Eileen. So we're going to play that. But we also have pieces of some new songs that are going to be on the new album.

13:55 Adam And we'll hear that. But we don't want to play the whole thing in its entirety because we don't want somebody ripping it off and like downloading or doing something like that.

14:04 Save Ferris Probably don't want that. Yeah, I don't want that. It's true. This is called Gina. That's all you get, mofos.

14:13 Save Ferris All right.

14:13 Adam So, well, and also...

14:15 Save Ferris You got to come to the show to see them. Because these aren't...

14:19 Drew Well, now I want to hear that song.

14:20 Save Ferris It's a good song.

14:21 Adam We'll hear. We'll hear at least half of it.

14:23 Save Ferris Will you come to the show in Anaheim, Drew? I think it'll be fun.

14:25 Drew I would love to do that.

14:25 Adam Drew was in Anaheim like two days ago dropping his kids off at the Disneyland Hotel. We're on a first name basis with every staff member of that hotel in there, right?

14:37 Drew Well, they were the old one, now the new one. They're learning every once in a while.

14:39 Adam Young Master Pinsky. Yes, step in. Charles, get his slippers. You're going to go right to the presidential suite. Please, how many days? Would you say it's fair to say that those kids have spent half of their time on this earth inside of the Disneyland Hotel? I mean, out of their nine years, would you say four and a half? Maybe I'm exaggerating. Four years, Jesus Christ. I didn't even know with that Disney. Did you go to Disneyland growing up?

15:10 Save Ferris A couple times.

15:12 Adam You grew up around here, right? I did.

15:14 Save Ferris I grew up out there.

15:16 Adam A couple times. Come on.

15:17 Drew Support me on this one. She lived there too.

15:19 Save Ferris Well, we snuck in a lot.

15:21 Adam You never went to the hotel, did you?

15:24 Save Ferris I went to the hotel actually once or twice.

15:27 Once or twice?

15:28 Adam You stayed there?

15:28 Save Ferris But I never stayed there. I never stayed there. We just went and saw the water show and the light show and played a little cars and stuff.

15:38 Adam To me it was, I went to Disneyland a handful of times growing up out here in Southern California but the hotel was like, don't even look at it, don't even dream about it.

15:49 Drew It's a bad thing for me.

15:50 Adam Well what do you need to state the Disneyland hotel for? This is what I was yelling at you for, you live out here. You know what I mean?

15:57 Drew You do that for the grown-ups, not for the kids.

15:59 Adam Alright. Did you drop your kids off and go home?

16:03 Drew No.

16:04 Adam Yes, that's what you said, you didn't stay there. Did you stay there last night? You stayed there a week ago?

16:10 Drew No, I was there all day, came here and went back there.

16:13 Save Ferris And slept at the hotel?

16:16 Adam You're going to ruin those kids. The boys are going gay, the girls are going lesbian. That's what I've decided. If you're lucky, one of them comes out straight.

16:27 Save Ferris One.

16:27 Adam One comes out bi. Best case scenario is one of the boys comes out bi. So we're going to hear something from Save Ferris. We'll hear an old one, we'll hear some bits of some new ones. I'll give you some dates where you can find them coming up. One coming up in Anaheim, by the way, at the House of Blues, which I've never been to. Is that a good one?

16:49 It's good.

16:50 Save Ferris It's smaller. It's smaller than, it's like, they call it like what, a bee type.

16:56 Drew But it's nice. Yeah. And that's on Disney is pretty amazing. It is. So you're doing all this stuff there around it.

17:01 Adam It's a House of Blues in downtown Disney.

17:03 Drew Oh, okay.

17:04 Save Ferris What's nice is it gives us an opportunity to play an all-ages show in Orange County, which is so hard to do now.

17:10 Adam Why?

17:10 Save Ferris Why is that hard?

17:11 Save Ferris They just closed down most of the all-ages venues down there.

17:14 Adam Is it like an insurance thing, or is it just they make more money selling booze?

17:22 Your guess is as good as mine.

17:23 Adam Do they sell booze at all-ages shows for people who have hand stamps or something?

17:29 Save Ferris Rarely, if ever.

17:31 Adam Oh, really? Because it seems like that's where they make a lot of their money, right? I mean, all those, you know, they get 700 cups out of a $40 keg and they sell them for $5 a piece and you do the math?

17:43 Yeah.

17:44 Adam All right. So, we'll hear something from Save Ferris, or more than something from Save Ferris, as the night goes on. Gina?

17:50 Yes.

17:50 Adam You're 22?

17:51 Caller Yes.

17:52 Adam What's up?

17:52 Save Ferris Gina.

17:54 Caller Well, I got a problem. I can't orgasm during sex, sexual intercourse, and I can't during oral sex either. I've done, I've orgasmed twice.

18:07 Drew In your life?

18:07 Caller In my life.

18:08 Drew By yourself?

18:09 Caller Oh, no. I can do it by myself, no problem. Just with a partner, I can't.

18:15 Adam Well, how did you do it the two times you did it?

18:19 Caller One time I was on top and the other time we were doing missionary with two different partners.

18:25 Caller That's ahead of the curve.

18:26 Adam Well, that's versatile.

18:28 Caller Yeah.

18:28 Drew I mean, she's able to, but what's holding you back the rest of the time?

18:32 Caller I don't know.

18:33 Drew Is he cooperating with you? Different guy?

18:38 Caller The sex is great because I'm married. I just got married a year ago.

18:41 Drew The same guy? This is the guy you had the orgasms with? No. No, that's the problem.

18:45 Caller No. Except the sex is great.

18:46 Adam That's great. It's dynamite.

18:47 Drew Fabulous. Fantastic.

18:48 Adam Because she's married.

18:49 Drew Yeah.

18:49 That's a guarantee of great sex.

18:52 Caller It's good sex, but I just can't go.

18:55 And I don't know why.

18:56 Adam Now, when you did go, did you go in front of a guy that you were in love with?

19:02 No.

19:03 Adam That's interesting. So maybe you don't, maybe there's too much at stake. Maybe you don't want to give it away. Maybe you feel too vulnerable or too attached or something. You know what I'm saying?

19:14 Caller Yeah.

19:14 Save Ferris Can I ask you a question?

19:16 Caller Yeah.

19:17 Save Ferris How, well, what's the longest that you've gone for?

19:20 Drew With him.

19:21 Save Ferris With him.

19:22 Caller With my husband? Yeah.

19:23 Save Ferris Like how long have the two of you been having sex for in one sitting?

19:31 It usually lasts about 20 minutes.

19:33 Drew 20 minutes.

19:34 Caller I mean we can do it for three times a night if you want to, you know.

19:38 Drew You can do it two or three times a night.

19:40 Caller Maybe.

19:41 Drew How do you masturbate to orgasm? And why can't you incorporate that into whatever you guys do?

19:48 Caller I get a little too embarrassed to do that.

19:50 Drew Why?

19:50 Save Ferris Clitoral stimulation?

19:53 Drew Yes.

19:53 Save Ferris Throw that in. I went in.

19:57 Caller The thing is I can't even go with a vibrator.

20:00 Drew What do you do?

20:03 Caller Put it in and turn it on.

20:05 Drew So you said you can't do it with a vibrator?

20:07 Caller No, I can't go with a vibrator either.

20:09 I have to do the whole thing.

20:10 Adam Hold on, wouldn't you turn it on and then put it in? You don't put it in and then turn it on, do you?

20:14 Save Ferris You can do that too.

20:16 Adam Oh, it makes a mess. It's like when you put the beater into the whipped cream and then flip it on and it goes flying everywhere. You got to get it moving first and slowly sink it in. It's a mess.

20:27 Save Ferris I don't know what kind of vibrator you've been playing with.

20:30 Adam Vagina all over the room. All over the room.

20:33 Save Ferris Talking about vagina monologues.

20:34 Drew You can't incorporate that into what you're doing with him. No, that's what you need to do.

20:40 Caller I don't know if it will make me comfortable.

20:42 Adam Hold on, quiet down. Women can't do that.

20:45 Caller Do what?

20:48 Adam For a woman masturbating, it's not like when a male masturbates where it's really a mechanical thing.

20:54 Caller Yeah, it can be, yeah.

20:55 Adam Oh, really?

20:56 Caller Yeah.

20:58 Adam Your mom listening?

20:59 Drew Her mom told her to do that when she gets headaches.

21:01 Yes, of course.

21:02 Save Ferris I'm an expert at that.

21:05 Adam But Gina doesn't sound as freed up as you and it sounds like she would be a little self-conscious doing that in front of a guy and so she can't get to that place.

21:16 Save Ferris She's married.

21:16 Caller What does she have to worry about?

21:18 Save Ferris She needs to figure it out. She needs to free up. Free up.

21:22 Drew She needs to work on it.

21:23 Save Ferris She needs to run around the house naked.

21:26 Adam Should she run or can she just saunter?

21:29 Save Ferris She needs to dance around the house naked. They need to have fun.

21:33 Adam What if she slipped and hurt herself and that's where they found her? That's why I don't run when I'm naked. I want to trip on my balls and be airlifted out of the place naked.

21:44 Save Ferris That's my whole thing.

21:45 Adam That's why, as you know, Drew, I don't jack off in the shower. It's the only place in the house I don't beat off because I'm scared I'm going to lose my footing, whack my head on a soap dish. How did they find him?

21:53 Save Ferris Well, Mr. Corolla.

21:55 Save Ferris You've got to get some dress for that shower, yo.

21:57 Adam Ma'am, don't go in there. I know it's your son. We'll have an open casket.

22:01 Save Ferris Don't go in there. No, Christ, no. Lake spread eagle, handful of nivea clutching on to it.

22:09 Adam Like one hand's got the shower curtain, the other has the jugs, you know.

22:13 Caller One hand has the catch of the penis. What are you talking about?

22:15 Adam Rigamortis has said we have to pry the jugs from his hand. He's been there a number of days. A neighbor noticed the smell. It's not pretty, ma'am.

22:24 Save Ferris That's it. Well, you know what I think about marriage, I think, is that marriage is a time, I think, it's time for you to have a good time because you found that partner that's going to love you regardless of whether or not your butthole is hairy or whatever.

22:39 Save Ferris Why does she look at me when she said that?

22:41 Save Ferris Because you look like a hairy butthole.

22:44 Drew No, no, he has one.

22:45 Adam He doesn't look like one.

22:47 Drew Be serious.

22:49 Adam Hailey?

22:50 Drew Yeah?

22:51 Adam You're named 16.

22:52 Save Ferris What's up?

22:53 I want to talk to Monique Powell.

22:55 Adam Here she is.

22:57 Caller Hi.

22:57 Save Ferris Hi. I love you.

23:00 Caller Thanks.

23:02 Caller I saw you at the Wild Duck in Eugene last year. Oh no, two years ago.

23:06 Oh, cool.

23:08 Save Ferris You were so beautiful.

23:09 Thank you.

23:10 Caller And presumably you still are.

23:12 Save Ferris Thank you very much.

23:13 Caller You're wearing that blue dress with the stars and you had stars painted on your arm.

23:19 Save Ferris Yeah, Terry King made that dress, actually.

23:22 Caller You were beautiful. Thank you. But I'm trying to get my mom to get me singing lessons because right after I went to your show I told my mom I want to be able to sing like Monique Powell.

23:31 Adam Okay.

23:32 Save Ferris And that's possible.

23:32 Drew It's a good time.

23:34 Adam Yeah.

23:34 Save Ferris I think that's very possible.

23:36 Adam Go right ahead.

23:37 Save Ferris What, right now?

23:38 No, no.

23:39 Adam No, okay. Well, yeah.

23:40 No, no.

23:41 Adam Do you know a Safe Faire song you want to sing?

23:43 Caller I know approximately 11 Safe Faire songs. Wow.

23:46 Adam Well, why don't you give us one?

23:48 Caller Well, I don't know.

23:49 Caller I don't know.

23:50 Adam Okay, then don't.

23:51 Caller I know. I will if you want me to.

23:53 Adam All right, go ahead.

23:54 Save Ferris Okay.

23:54 Caller You're gone, so gone up, so gone, so gone up. Now I must say more than ever.

24:01 Save Ferris Da, da, da, da.

24:04 Save Ferris That was Adam's part on the Flugelhorn.

24:05 Da, da, da, da.

24:07 Save Ferris You remember your part, dude.

24:08 Adam Yeah.

24:09 Save Ferris Yeah, that was great.

24:10 Adam I was actually doing the fingerings on the spit valve. It took me a while before I realized it. Had to move my hand up, up top. All right, Haley.

24:17 Save Ferris It's definitely sound like you have a lot of promise, Haley. And good luck.

24:20 Thank you so much.

24:21 Adam Good times, baby.

24:22 Drew Now I've got a hankering for that song.

24:24 Adam Yeah. Okay. Drew knows good radio. He knows how to do a smooth transition. You got a hankering for Come On, Alain?

24:30 What's your name? Ace.

24:32 Adam Well, I'll tell you what. What would you say if I said, let's play that right now?

24:36 You better check the time.

24:38 Adam I'd say it's 10, 13, and 30 seconds. That is 46 minutes and 36 seconds away from the top of the hour.

24:49 Save Ferris Come on, Alain. Thank you.

28:31 Thank you very much.

28:33 Adam Save Ferris, everybody. That's why we love them so much. Brian and Monique are both here from the band. We will give you a couple of dates where you can find Save Ferris coming up in the very near future. And here's some snippets from some new stuff they've been working on that should be out on a Save Ferris album very shortly. Brian?

28:53 Caller How are you guys doing?

28:54 Adam Year 20? Not you, Brian. This Brian, sorry. But jump in, Brian, fine.

28:58 Caller How are you doing?

28:59 Caller I just want to say I love you guys' show. I watch The Man Show all the time, too.

29:03 Adam Fantastic.

29:04 Whatever.

29:06 Caller Thanks, man, for that. Great. I got some questions for you guys. Oh, and Dr. Drew, what he thinks, if he thinks those terrorists are behind the Anthrax virus? Or just his opinion on that?

29:18 Drew I mean, the reason, probably down in Florida?

29:20 Caller Yeah, we're popping on Florida and just, you know, coming up right after New York.

29:23 Adam Well, listen, I hope they are, because if that's the best they can do with the Anthrax virus, I'm all for it.

29:28 Drew That's kind of what I was thinking, too. I thought, boy, if this is the way it's going to go, we'll be fine.

29:32 Adam And by the way, you know, I sense some guys from a tabloid is not going to capture the hearts of the country. People's general consensus is, hey, I had it coming. So I hope this is it, because if that's it, great. You got one fatality and someone else is contracted and there may be a third person, but that's that effective spreading of biological warfare by any stretch of the imaginations. I don't think it is, and I don't think Drew does.

30:03 Drew They're treating it as some sort of criminal behavior, that some crime occurred, not necessarily terrorism.

30:10 Caller I gotcha.

30:11 Drew But I think it is a time that we all need to stay focused and vigilant and aware and prepare.

30:17 Adam How do we do that?

30:19 Drew Well they're advocating that people primarily watch out for strange behaviors of people, that people are leaving things behind, that people are eight guys in a room with no job, living next to you, this kind of thing.

30:30 Adam Right. And then I think you're playing hacky sack with a goat's head and barbequing the whole lamb in the backyard, yeah. It's a time to get on the horn.

30:40 Drew I think people should have a water supply, I think they should have a transistors, it's like an earthquake preparedness and an antibiotic supply. I think people ought to have something.

30:47 Adam Well where do you get the antibiotic supply?

30:49 Caller With your doctor.

30:50 Adam And is he going to give it out?

30:53 Caller What's he going to do, withhold it?

30:55 Drew He's not the one issuing it, it's the pharmacist.

30:57 Adam Well where's my quail lutes, I asked for five years ago.

30:59 Drew That's the point.

31:00 Adam That's my point. Because your thing is like you don't need quail lutes. I'm like, yes I do. And you're like, wait till you need the quail lutes and I'll score you the lutes, dude. But I'm saying, how about just a big jar of quail lutes right now in case I run into trouble?

31:13 Save Ferris I've never seen anyone become a penicillin junkie though.

31:17 Save Ferris Good point.

31:18 Save Ferris Good point.

31:18 Save Ferris That's a good point. All right.

31:20 Save Ferris There'd be a lot of yeast infections running around if that were the case.

31:23 Adam All right, so hey Brian, don't freak out. All right. You're fine there, buddy.

31:27 Caller I was just wondering what he had thought about that. My other question is, I've been with my girlfriend about 13 months, and when we still have sex, she still gets pain while we're having sex and a couple of days afterwards too.

31:39 Drew Has she had a pelvic exam recently?

31:41 Caller Uh-huh. Was she self-examined?

31:43 Drew Has she had a pelvic exam recently?

31:45 Caller Yeah, she went to a guy I know like a couple months ago.

31:49 Drew And what did they say?

31:49 Caller And everything was fine. And I don't know, we used lubricants and everything like that.

31:58 Drew Did she get a pelvic ultrasound by any chance?

32:00 Caller Did she get a pelvic ultrasound? I'm not sure.

32:03 Drew Sometimes there can be cysts or endometriosis or various things that can cause discomfort, structural problems that might be missed without the ultrasound. So it's something worth continuing to go back and ask about if you're still having symptoms.

32:14 Caller Well, she's pretty tiny too. She's 4'11, 85 pounds.

32:18 Save Ferris Oh, my goodness.

32:19 Caller You know, she's 18 and I'm 21.

32:22 Save Ferris 85 pounds, wow.

32:24 Adam And what's your penis weight, about 40?

32:27 About 40, yeah.

32:29 Caller About 40?

32:30 Save Ferris 40 grams.

32:31 Adam Mine is, yeah, mine's like 40 grams wet. Nude. Totally undressed.

32:37 Drew Dripping wet.

32:38 Adam No, yeah.

32:39 Drew Straight out of the shower.

32:39 Caller Yeah.

32:41 Caller I don't know if it's because she's small and it's just...

32:44 Adam Well, maybe that's it. That could be. She's 80 pounds.

32:48 Caller About 85 pounds.

32:50 Adam Can she put a little weight on?

32:52 Save Ferris She's only 4'11, though. She's tiny.

32:54 Adam Yeah.

32:55 Caller 4'11.

32:56 Adam All right.

32:56 Save Ferris She's a little girl.

32:57 Drew I was like, do with the villagers in the snow globe.

33:01 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Once in a while when I'm feeling bad about my size, I shake up the snow globe and I put my penis on it and I pretend that my penis is crushing a village.

33:13 Drew The snow globe with the villagers in the snow.

33:15 Adam Yeah. I do the voices of the people.

33:17 Caller Oh, look out! Adam's penis! Oh my God! It's blocking the sun!

33:24 Adam It's really the lamp. They think it's the sun because I hold it under the shade.

33:28 Save Ferris They just see the orb.

33:29 Caller Sure.

33:32 Caller Run into your home!

33:33 Adam They're like little gingerbread houses. They smash it and they talk about, Oh, the force field's working! Because they think the glass is like the force field. It's crazy. I should gurgle when I talk because it's filled with water, right? No, no.

33:47 Caller They're here. They're here.

33:48 Caller Another blizzard is in! Why does that giant penis attack us whenever the blizzard hits?

33:54 Adam They're very superstitious now.

33:57 Save Ferris All right.

33:58 Save Ferris That's incredible.

33:58 Save Ferris Save Ferris is here. True story.

34:00 Save Ferris True.

34:00 Save Ferris You are so imaginative.

34:01 Save Ferris True story.

34:02 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Save Ferris and Jeff, who wants to know if there's a safe way to enlarge his penis after this.

34:16 Save Ferris Hi, this is Seth Green, and you're listening to Loveline, you sick perverts.

34:20 Adam Yeah. I love that Seth Green. I love it when he does the voice from the family guy.

34:27 Hi, this is Chris Graff, and you're listening to Loveline, which I'm not allowed to listen to, because they say words like breasts.

34:37 Save Ferris Sounds kind of like Ralph from the Simpsons.

34:39 Adam Yeah, it's got a little Ralphie Wiggum in them.

34:42 These berries taste like burning. Seth Green has worked nine shops since he began in the business.

34:50 Adam I made him read his bio as this character.

34:55 Save Ferris That's funny.

34:57 Save Ferris Yeah, I think it kind of torture.

34:58 Adam Oh, then I made him read the phone book as that character. What? Oh, outgoing, do I have to do an outgoing message? Oh, wait a minute.

35:10 Caller Hi. Adam.

35:16 Adam, not here.

35:18 Caller Don't worry. You can just go back another time. That's right.

35:26 Adam I got to get that on my phone machine. I don't know how to do it, though. So, I have that kind of technology.

35:32 Drew It sounds like all my patients with Parkinson's disease. It sort of bothers me.

35:36 Adam You got it. Well, here's the thing. You got to see the family guy and you got to see the character. You have to picture the character that he does, the fat screwy kid of the family guy, and then it's extra funny. Brian and Monique are both here from Save Ferris.

35:54 Caller Thank you.

35:55 Adam We'll hear some new stuff, some samples from some Save Ferris new material coming up shortly. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Jeff. It's 23.

36:06 Caller Jeff?

36:07 Hey, what's up?

36:07 Adam What's up?

36:08 What's up? Dr. Drew? I was just wondering if you could shed some light on this. Just whether it's Internet or email forwards that you get or junk mail or whatever, advertisements, everywhere you go it seems like there are different kinds of ads for penal enlargements. I'm wondering if there's a safe way to do it or if one...

36:33 Drew I don't think any of these are particularly dangerous. Of course, the surgeries are more dangerous than that.

36:38 Adam But either my vacuum devices and things like that or the pills.

36:43 A lot of things like herbal stuff like pills and things like that.

36:46 Drew Forget that.

36:47 Adam I always love those commercials. You know, hey fellas, you know, you ever hear these commercials where the sexy chick is talking about why be average when you can be... And they did some poll. 68% of women say they're not satisfied with their man's size. It's just, it's really, it just tugs at the insecure heartstrings of every, every, every idiot listening out there. It's pretty sad. Yeah. And I say smack that snow globe and feel good about yourself. Also I had an idea too that I bounced off Drew. He didn't seem to take much notice of it, but I'm still behind it, which is instead of lengthening the penis, how about hollowing out the area around it? You know, just digging out the area around the penis, really making it look that much bigger.

37:35 Drew Yeah, like, like you cut down the grass around your male, male.

37:38 Adam Yeah, that's the way, oh look, the grass grows high around the mailbox, makes the mailbox look shorter.

37:43 Save Ferris Right.

37:44 Adam Dig out around the mailbox, and it looks like you have the world's tallest mailbox, right?

37:48 Save Ferris Right, right.

37:49 Adam See what I'm saying, Jeff? Yeah, you need to excavate that area around the penis.

37:55 Drew I've not yet met that person for whom his life was made more meaningful, more successful, more fulfilled through doing anything that goes penis other than masturbating.

38:04 Save Ferris It's true.

38:05 Adam And actually you have an easier time shrinking your balls to make your penis look bigger than you would actually getting your penis to be bigger.

38:13 Drew Well, you could certainly get some mileage that way.

38:15 Adam I could take up, I could take up some skin. Yeah, I could cut off some extra and make a whole drum kit.

38:23 Caller Oh, God.

38:25 Adam Yeah, with like a set of congas too, you know. I got enough extra skin down there, really do.

38:30 Drew The congas are the things that come way down the side.

38:32 Adam Yeah, that was the stuff right down the side. My balls hurt. Finally, some use for my balls.

38:40 Save Ferris Can make lampshades.

38:41 Adam Right, Jeff. Lampshades, conga drums.

38:43 Save Ferris Just a word of advice, Jeff. It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion.

38:47 Drew No, wait a minute. Let's talk to them. Because those platitudes make men go, oh yeah, right. Sure, they're trying to make you feel good.

38:52 Save Ferris I swear.

38:53 Drew All right. Now, is it not the case? It's not true.

38:55 Save Ferris No, I promise.

38:56 Drew It's too big, more of a problem than too small. I know this very well.

39:00 Save Ferris Well, it's definitely a problem if you can't get an end.

39:03 Drew Or it hurts.

39:05 Caller Yeah.

39:06 Drew Because that's what we hear much more about that than too small.

39:10 Save Ferris Oh, yeah.

39:11 Caller Uh-huh.

39:12 Save Ferris Do it like that, baby.

39:13 Adam Right. And most guys, if they can do a good job orally or in sexually, right?

39:20 Save Ferris Yeah.

39:20 Caller Like here.

39:21 Adam Oh. I call it the carpet bombing. So I hit everything.

39:27 Drew I'm not sure if you can do that.

39:28 Adam I don't do the smart bomb. I take out the whole village with the children, livestock, everything.

39:36 Drew The snow globe force field gets a little of that too, once in a while. Well, she didn't jump at that globe.

39:42 Adam I know. I know. You don't like Coral 6.

39:44 Drew Not the way we can really go on.

39:45 Save Ferris No, I do. But when you reenact it for me, yeah, it makes my cheeks real rosy. It makes me wish I wasn't sitting here right now.

39:56 Caller Right.

39:56 Adam I'd like to be home with me, maybe in a jacuzzi.

39:58 Caller Probably not. Well, look.

40:02 Save Ferris I'd rather be alone with a nice jacuzzi jet.

40:05 Adam Oh, yeah.

40:08 Save Ferris No, you know what? First of all, my view on oral sex is that men should definitely not even think about penetration before they go down on a woman.

40:18 Adam That's right.

40:18 Before they do.

40:20 Save Ferris Yeah, definitely.

40:21 Adam That's right.

40:22 Save Ferris You absolutely don't even think about it. Don't even go there.

40:26 Adam Well, wait a minute. Unless you're with a hooker. In which case, you're on the clock. You paid for it.

40:32 Let's not go down on it.

40:34 Save Ferris Right. Well, you know, then again, if you're with a hooker, you never know what you're going to find under the skirt.

40:39 Adam That's true.

40:39 Save Ferris Yeah.

40:40 Adam So, okay. So, first oral, then the intercourse. But here's what I'm saying. And you agree or disagree with me. I contend that most women would rather have a guy who is a little smaller in the penis but gave great oral and a good massage after the sexy. They'd go for that kid. They're like feet rubbed and their necks worked over and everything, right?

41:03 Save Ferris Yeah. There are so many. I mean, gosh. Sex is so colorful nowadays. You have so many choices. It really doesn't matter about the size of the penis.

41:12 Adam These guys have been so much time focusing on the size of their penis and they should really focus on compensating for their small penis with other techniques.

41:19 Save Ferris Or, you know what, even if you have a huge penis, sometimes, it's just not... Everybody's different. Everybody's different. It's how you work it.

41:28 Drew The size thing, though, for these guys becomes such a symbol of their worth.

41:32 Save Ferris It's silly.

41:34 Adam Good. There you go.

41:35 Drew How big is who?

41:36 Adam Daniel.

41:37 Caller Hello.

41:38 How are you?

41:39 Caller Good.

41:39 Adam What's happening?

41:40 Hi, Monique.

41:42 Caller Hi. I'm so happy I'm talking to you. Yay.

41:46 I was wondering, how was the European tour?

41:51 Save Ferris That was really, really fun and scary and sad at the same time.

41:55 Caller Why?

41:56 Save Ferris Because we were stuck overseas when everything was happening here in New York. Oh, really? Where were you? We were in England. We were in a smaller city in England, and then we went back to London and we stayed there for an extra week because we lost our flight. But we had a great time. It was tough, but it was great because we self-financed our tour. It was wonderful. Almost every show was sold out. I mean, it was incredible. Seriously, like the most amazing crowd response I've seen in a long time for us.

42:32 Adam In Europe or in England specifically?

42:35 Caller All over.

42:37 Save Ferris We went to England, Wales, Austria, Belgium.

42:40 Drew You're supposed to mention movies.

42:42 Save Ferris Yeah, we're supposed to talk about, well, aside from the European subject.

42:49 Drew The songs we just heard.

42:50 Save Ferris Yeah, we're putting songs in movies as well now. So what are they called? There's a...

42:55 Come on, Eileen.

42:57 Save Ferris Not Another Teen Movie.

42:58 Yeah.

42:59 Save Ferris Come out March and there's a song going into Cameron Diaz movie coming out March, I think.

43:04 Adam Which we'll hear some of.

43:07 Drew This is that one I want to hear.

43:08 Save Ferris No, no, that one.

43:09 Caller So it's Sheena.

43:10 Drew That's what they said.

43:11 Adam All right. Hey, Danielle. Thanks, baby.

43:13 I have one more question.

43:15 Is there a good rock hard tattoo?

43:23 Save Ferris What do you ask about the rock hard tattoo? So what about it?

43:27 Is there a good one?

43:28 Save Ferris Is there a good rock hard tattoo?

43:30 Yeah.

43:31 Adam What's that mean?

43:32 Caller I don't know.

43:33 Caller That's what they told me to ask.

43:34 Caller Who told you to ask? The guy who answered the phone.

43:38 Caller How did you know about that?

43:42 Save Ferris Oh.

43:42 Drew He knows everything.

43:43 Save Ferris He knows everything.

43:45 Drew Now you can tell us.

43:46 Save Ferris Well, we played Reading in Leeds in Europe and we were over there with Real Big Fish and the bass player Matt Wong is actually this amazing artist and our new trumpet player fell asleep and while he was asleep, Matt drew a huge penis on his back like Harry, just very graphic and wrote rock hard in Olde English.

44:08 Adam Did he fall asleep or was he rendered unconscious from?

44:12 Save Ferris I don't know. It was hot. Maybe he was...

44:14 Drew This was not a tattoo. It was just a painting like a pen.

44:16 Save Ferris Yeah, it looked like a tattoo. It was funny.

44:18 Adam But, you know, if you... I've done this to many a guy who's passed out too because of too much booze and probably not with the artistry but still the point, the thought was there. If you get that indelible ink and you draw a good penis on a guy's belly in black ink or on his back, especially on his back, he can't really get to it. It's hard to get a loofah back there, you know what I'm saying?

44:38 Drew He made it a week without knowing it was there.

44:40 Adam That's another good point.

44:41 Save Ferris He had it. It stuck for quite a while. It was beautiful. We have pictures of it.

44:46 Adam Yeah.

44:46 Save Ferris Matt's an amazing artist. Let me just say...

44:50 Adam He sounds gifted.

44:50 Save Ferris He's very well acquainted with the male member.

44:53 Adam How fitting that you guys were in Europe, you know, the home to so many great artists over the years.

44:58 Save Ferris We almost got in trouble though because the paramedics assumed that he was drunk and thought we were just taking advantage of him.

45:04 They thought he died. They came over and he was just laying there.

45:07 Drew So why did the paramedics show up?

45:09 Save Ferris There was like... Somebody called them.

45:12 Somebody tried to drag him out across the stage to show everyone.

45:15 Adam Oh, I see.

45:16 Said, hey, how'd you like to get a girlfriend tonight? Show them your tattoo.

45:20 Adam Well, he must have been a little drunk, right? Yeah, maybe. Maybe a tad. But listen, I've done many horrible things to many a friend who has passed out because of booze. And most guys have a story or two like this, just like this story. And you brought up the paramedics, and it made me think of something which is, it must have happened hundreds of times, historically, where something horrible was done to a corpse. Where the guy died of alcohol poisoning, and you thought it was Stu who had just passed out because he had tilted too many, and you were loaded too. So you decided to shave his pubes or something. It turned out he was dead.

45:59 Save Ferris Oh, it's terrible.

46:00 Adam I mean, that had to have happened at least a hundred times in the last ten years.

46:05 Save Ferris That's right.

46:06 Drew A few manslaughter allegations were levied at people.

46:09 Adam I mean, guys die because they drink too much all the time, right? And if all the guys who are around them are drunk, and he's the first to go down, they're going to screw with the guy. Nice.

46:20 Save Ferris All right, let's all just think about that.

46:22 Adam All right.

46:23 Save Ferris Hey, Brian, if I die, please don't screw with me.

46:25 Adam I'll do it. I'll put you right in the jacuzzi. Save Ferris is here. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back with you and us and them after that. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Monique and Brian are both here from Save Ferris. New album should be out fairly soon, a couple of a few months. They're going to be at Slim's in San Francisco. If you're listening from that part of the world on October 25th. And then House of Blues out here in Anaheim on November 17.

47:09 Drew Look what Monique's got her hands on.

47:11 Adam She got...

47:11 Save Ferris I have the anatomy book open to the page with the vagina.

47:15 Adam It is very grotesque, that book, to find out what really goes on inside of people.

47:20 Save Ferris Wow!

47:21 Drew Not just people. You seem unconcerned about the man.

47:23 Adam Nah, I'm not a big fan of that either. Hey Drew, you got a call at work down here? Let's talk to this guy who drinks Epikac.

47:33 Drew Huh?

47:34 Adam Okay, that's actually a girl, I hope, Renee?

47:37 Caller Yeah.

47:38 Adam You're 32?

47:40 Caller Yeah.

47:40 Adam What's up?

47:42 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew about Epikac.

47:46 Caller I'm not sure if I pronounced it correctly.

47:48 Adam The stuff that makes you throw up?

47:50 Yeah.

47:51 Caller I just want to know if there's any danger to CP. Is it like more than once a month? Like maybe every other week or something?

47:59 Drew Well, it suggests you have an eating disorder. That's for starters.

48:04 Adam The throwing up is more dangerous than the Epikac.

48:07 Drew Actually, Epikac can cause some heart problems if you use a whole lot of it. But no, occasionally it's no big deal.

48:13 Adam But wait a minute, where do you get that stuff? That's over the counter, right?

48:17 Drew I know, it's a rare complication, but you know.

48:19 Adam But I mean, you just go in and buy that stuff, right?

48:22 Adam You just take a tablespoon, and it's so vile that you vomit, it hits the cumuloreceptor triggers on the brain, it makes you vomit.

48:30 Save Ferris But vomiting isn't good for you.

48:32 Adam But it smells like hell too. I mean, isn't it bad? It's not good smelling or tasting, is it?

48:37 Drew It's not bad.

48:38 Caller Well, not to me anyway.

48:39 Drew So you swallow it, and then it activates up in the brain that makes you vomit.

48:43 Caller You drink a lot of stuff.

48:43 Drew About ten minutes later.

48:44 Save Ferris But vomiting a lot isn't good for you.

48:48 Drew And listen, she's got a, she's bulimic. She's vomiting over the other week.

48:50 Save Ferris It's not good for you. If you vomit a lot, you're frying up your esophagus, your vocal cords.

48:56 Caller Well, I could use it once a month.

48:58 Save Ferris Why? Why?

49:00 Caller Well, I overeat at times, and I get...

49:04 Save Ferris Well, don't overeat.

49:06 Caller That's hard not to do, and you're stressed.

49:08 Caller So this is in...

49:09 Save Ferris Start exercising if you're stressed instead.

49:12 Drew This is an eating disorder. Now, whether or not it really meets the criteria for...

49:15 Save Ferris It's a hobby.

49:16 Caller I don't have a weight or anything.

49:18 Drew Whether or not it meets the specific criteria as a diagnosis for an eating disorder, whether it's a symptom of something else, it's a serious symptom. And are you on medication otherwise?

49:28 Caller No.

49:29 Drew Are you supposed to be?

49:30 Caller No.

49:30 Adam You sound depressed or confused or something, Renee.

49:34 Caller I'm sorry?

49:35 Adam You sound depressed. Are you depressed?

49:38 Caller No.

49:39 Adam Is everything going... No.

49:40 Caller It's just every once in a while I'll get stressed or I overeat and I hate that feeling that I have in my stomach of all that junk and I just got to get it out. That's only like once every other month or... Yeah.

49:53 Adam How's life going?

49:54 Drew Well, bulimia is binging and purging. The doctor did it every day, but somebody, if they binge and then purge, that is bulimia.

50:01 Adam All right. But if it's truly every other month, as she describes, it's probably not a problem, but I'm sure it's not...

50:07 Save Ferris No, because she's using food as a way to cure her stress.

50:12 Adam Hold on a second. Drew, as a doctor, you're trained not to believe people. You know what I mean? We've talked about this with smoking. You go in and tell your doctor, look, I smoke one cigarette a month. That's too much. You got to quit. Now, it's not too much. He's saying it because he doesn't believe you.

50:29 Drew Right.

50:30 Adam He thinks you're smoking more than that. He's probably right.

50:33 Drew Right.

50:33 Adam And that's why as a doctor, when a guy says, I smoke one cigarette a year, you go, that's too much. You got to quit. And this is the same thing. If she truly did this every other month...

50:43 Drew Every other month?

50:44 Adam Well, that was her second assertion that she did it. Even if she did it once a month, you'd probably... If it was no... Every 30 days she did this and no more, it probably would not be that big a deal.

50:56 Drew No, the behavior is not a big deal, but it suggests something seriously psychological going on.

51:00 Adam I agree, but I think we also...

51:04 Drew It could get worse. We're also...

51:05 Adam We're also assuming, just like when people say they smoke pot twice a week, that's five times a week.

51:09 Drew Right.

51:10 Adam So Renee, you probably do do it a little more than once a month. Wouldn't you say?

51:15 Caller No, I don't. But I was calling to find out because I would like to do it more than once a week.

51:20 Save Ferris May I ask you a question?

51:22 Caller I just wanted to know if EpiCapt is...

51:24 Caller What caused any harm?

51:26 Drew This is an eating disorder, and believe me, it has a 20% fatality rate.

51:30 Adam What's up with the rest of your life, seriously? Do you have a job?

51:34 Caller Yeah, it's very stressful.

51:36 Adam I know. Stop getting back to the eating, please. I'm trying to figure out the rest of your life, alright?

51:42 Caller Okay.

51:43 Adam Alright. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?

51:45 Caller No.

51:46 Adam What's up with that?

51:47 Drew Why is that funny?

51:48 Adam Yeah, why is it funny?

51:50 Caller Why do you just make it sound like that is the reason why?

51:53 Adam So stop...

51:54 Drew Hey Renee, you just said you manage to... Hey, hey, hey, listen. You just said you deal with stress, feelings by overeating, binging and purging. That is a very serious symptom. So we're trying to figure out why you can't manage stress like any other 32-year-old adult. What's going on in your life that these profound symptoms are developing? Thank you, Drew.

52:15 Caller How do normal adults handle stress?

52:18 Adam Well, they don't vomit. They might hit a heavy bag or jog or eat and not vomit.

52:25 Drew Or spend time with friends, connecting with people, leisure time. There's lots of things about it.

52:29 Caller I do exercise a lot.

52:31 Caller But even overeating is a problem.

52:33 Save Ferris Even overeating as a result of stress is a problem. That's a problem, Renee.

52:38 Adam What about a man?

52:41 Caller What about him?

52:41 Adam Well, you want a relationship?

52:44 Save Ferris No.

52:45 Adam Okay.

52:45 Save Ferris That's not important to her. How about the next time you start feeling stressed, why don't you encourage yourself to write five pages of how you feel?

52:54 Drew Well, that's helpful. But one of the things that people really need in order to manage feelings is interpersonal contact. Connect to this. She sounds completely isolated. In that whole discussion we had, she did not mention family, relationships, anything. She's focused on her bombing, her eating and her exercise.

53:08 Adam Well, here's the thing too, everybody. We don't focus on the information so much on this show as we focus on the vibe. She's saying she vomits once a month. That's no big deal. But her vibe is so profoundly screwed up. She sounds so withdrawn and so screwed up and depressed too. And each time I try to pursue something with her, I just get cut off. So screw you, go vomit. They have a cat's fine.

53:33 Drew Well, that denies, again, a denial.

53:35 Adam I don't care.

53:35 It's part of the Bolivia.

53:36 Adam Right. But you sound really depressed. And people, you know, I'll go ahead and say this. We don't know you, so it's easier for us to hear a problem. The people that know you are used to you. It's that Renee we work with. It's that Renee, our friend or a family member. But we never have spoken to Renee in our life. And the hair in the back of our neck stands up when she starts talking. And she sounds like someone who's really hurting. So that's our impression of you, Renee. So get some help, please. Jordan, you're 13?

54:17 Caller Yeah. My dad, whenever I'm away, he gets on the Internet and starts looking at porn. Yeah.

54:28 Drew Suddenly I flashed on a nightmare that Jordan's name, one of my sons, I'm still doing this show and these kids are 13. What are they going to call and say about me?

54:37 Adam Oh, it's going to be a disaster. They'll sue you. Yes, your dad looks at porn.

54:43 Caller Yeah, and he does it when I'm away, but not when my seven younger brothers and sisters are.

54:49 Drew Seven?

54:50 Adam Seven younger brothers and sisters?

54:52 Caller Yes.

54:53 Adam Sneezy and dopey and duck and grumpy and happy and jacky and smaggy.

54:57 Save Ferris Is there something wrong with me if I'm getting turned on by looking at the inner lymphatic system?

55:02 Drew Yes.

55:02 Adam Yes. So Jordan? Yes.

55:06 Caller And I don't know how it's going to affect him.

55:10 Adam Jordan, you really have a question.

55:12 Affect the kids?

55:14 Drew You're kind of being...

55:15 Adam Well, he doesn't beat off in front of him, does he?

55:18 Caller No, but...

55:19 Adam He just sits in his room and looks at porn?

55:22 Caller No. It's like in the living room where all the kids are. And...

55:27 Drew What do you mean it's in the living room? That's when he looks at it?

55:29 Yeah.

55:30 Caller And when I'm away and...

55:32 Why?

55:32 Drew When you're away? If you're away, how do you know he's doing that?

55:34 Caller So I don't like to tell my mom or something.

55:37 Drew If you're away, how do you know he's doing it?

55:40 Caller Well, I go away and I came back earlier than I told him I was going to be back and I saw through the window that he was looking at porn.

55:47 Save Ferris Oh, please.

55:48 Drew Jordan, come on.

55:49 Adam Hi, Jordan. You're so full of crap. Please. How dare you call this show that bogus kind of be? Yes. I saw through the window. The show had more holes in it than my high school underpants. That was a horrible story. There's guys who sound like they're lying from what they're saying and then there's guys who sound like they're lying from their cadence. Oh, I, well, came, well, that's a hooker's body, yes, but she's holding down the kilo of coke that, well, let me go to my house and get my license. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. Save Ferris here and we'll be back. Hey, y'all, I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there at his Loveline. Brian and Monique are both here from Save Ferris. They're going to be over at Slim's in San Francisco on October 25th and at the House of Blues in Anaheim November 17th. Got some music coming out and some movies that are coming up. And we'll have theoretically a new CD out sometime in February, or so they think. That sounds about right, right? Sounds about right. I think we're going to sample some new stuff from Save Ferris. Take a call.

57:44 Drew This is the one we're going to, it's from, going to be on a film?

57:48 Caller Oh.

57:49 What we're going to hear?

57:50 Drew In a little while?

57:51 Caller Yeah.

57:52 Drew Okay, good.

57:52 Caller Let's go to that call. All right.

57:55 Adam It's good radio, Drew. Rebecca?

57:57 Caller Hi.

57:57 Adam Hey, you're 14.

57:58 Caller Hi, yeah. Oh my God, I'm talking to Save Ferris. This is really cool. Like, I've never gotten through a radio station before and now I'm talking to Save Ferris.

58:06 Adam All right, let's put her on the line. Like, she had a streak going. YF with the streak. All right, go ahead. I'm sorry.

58:15 Okay, I just want to know how I could get tickets to any of those companies because I would die to go.

58:22 Save Ferris Where do you live? What city?

58:24 Adam Belfour.

58:24 Caller Belfour.

58:25 Save Ferris Belfour. Do you want to go to Anaheim?

58:27 Caller Yeah.

58:27 Adam It's all ages.

58:29 Save Ferris Is it sold out yet?

58:30 Drew November 17th.

58:32 Save Ferris It's not sold out yet.

58:32 Drew Let's call House of Blues and get tickets.

58:34 Caller Okay.

58:36 I also want to ask, your guides in music is just the best. It's like the best pick-me-up music I've ever, ever heard. I can put on your CDs and I'm just... I want to know how you guys get such awesome lyrics because I tried to write some music a while ago and I kind of suck at it.

58:55 Caller So my lyrics are all cheesy.

58:57 Caller How do you guys get such awesome lyrics?

59:02 Just keep doing it over and over.

59:04 Caller Yeah.

59:04 That's pretty much the best way. It's just like writing anything. You just have to keep... You come up with the original idea and you just sort of keep rewriting until you get something that you don't think is cheesy.

59:14 Save Ferris Yeah. Just write every day.

59:17 Yeah.

59:17 Adam And you know, Rebekah, you're 14, right?

59:19 Caller Yeah.

59:20 Adam You'll get better. You just keep going.

59:24 Drew You're about 15 and a half.

59:25 Adam I mean, you're not going to be that good, but you will improve. Yeah. Don't you worry. Okay.

59:30 Caller You're adorable.

59:32 Adam Take care of yourself. Bye. All right.

59:34 Save Ferris So cute.

59:35 Adam All right. So what we're going to do now is I think we're going to hear something new from Save Ferris. And we're not going to play the entire and complete song for reasons that is not coming out for a few months. And we don't want people copying it or downloading it or recording it or bootlegging it. But I think we're going to hear half of it or a quarter of it or what is our plan? A sample of it. We'll hear a sample.

59:58 Save Ferris Just enough to wet the palette.

1:00:00 Adam All right. We'll hear about a minute of it. And this is Look At You Now.

1:01:19 Caller Oh, that's great.

1:01:22 Adam Thanks. Yeah.

1:01:23 Save Ferris I've been practicing my song.

1:01:26 Adam No getting used to was right there. Right.

1:01:29 Save Ferris Yeah, it's good.

1:01:29 Adam Yeah, I really did.

1:01:30 Save Ferris Really?

1:01:31 Adam Yeah.

1:01:31 Save Ferris That's a song that it's going to be in that Cameron Diaz movie and we like Cameron Diaz, so that's going to be really fun.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah. She's got it. Yeah.

1:01:40 Save Ferris You know what? You should have her on a trampoline on your show.

1:01:44 Adam All right. Consider it done.

1:01:46 Save Ferris Oh.

1:01:47 Adam Get a hold of her publicist tomorrow. I'm sure they've been banging at our door trying to get her on talk show once. Big fan?

1:01:54 Drew Well, her dream was to get up on that trampoline.

1:01:56 Save Ferris For real?

1:01:56 Adam I'm sure. Absolutely.

1:01:58 Save Ferris Because nobody wants it more than me.

1:02:00 Adam Hey, you can get on that trampoline.

1:02:02 Save Ferris That'd be fun.

1:02:05 Adam It's quite an event. We do it down at Elysian Park.

1:02:09 Caller I don't know if I'd be able to come back up, though.

1:02:10 Drew You'd make me wear one of those plaid pleated skirts that they wear in the schoolgirls.

1:02:14 Adam Yeah.

1:02:16 Save Ferris Can I wear biker shorts underneath? They're black spandex.

1:02:20 Adam You could if they were beige and we stuck pubic hair on the front.

1:02:25 Save Ferris You know what, though? I've watched that show closely and I've seen none of that.

1:02:28 Adam You've not seen any pubes?

1:02:29 Save Ferris No pubes.

1:02:30 Adam Because I shave every girl personally before she gets up on the trampoline.

1:02:32 Caller Oh, do ya?

1:02:34 Adam It's part of the policy.

1:02:35 Save Ferris Yeah, right.

1:02:38 Adam They line up and I shear them like sheep.

1:02:40 Save Ferris Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. Okay, yeah, we will leave you.

1:02:43 Caller Here we go. Yeah, move right along.

1:02:44 Adam Yeah, you ever see those competitions, the sheep shearing competitions? Well, you know you're from a bad country and that's like a major event.

1:02:54 Save Ferris Gosh.

1:02:55 Adam Well, how does this sport work? Well, he shaves a sheep and we hang out. And what we'll do is time it. And then, you know, if there's some hair left around, let's say where the leg attaches to the body, we'll deduct some points. Yeah, it's pretty big. This guy's good though. He's got the record.

1:03:16 Caller Sarah?

1:03:17 Yes?

1:03:18 Adam You're 19?

1:03:19 Caller Yes.

1:03:20 Adam What's up?

1:03:21 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend broke up almost two weeks ago because he's going into the Army. And I lost my virginity to him about a month ago. And...

1:03:34 Get on your knees, scumbag!

1:03:35 Drew Did you know that he was going to go in the Army at that point?

1:03:37 Caller No.

1:03:38 Caller Okay.

1:03:39 Caller He decided to go into the Army...

1:03:42 Adam After he got a little sample in the ear.

1:03:44 Caller What?

1:03:46 Drew So what's your question?

1:03:46 Caller No, I don't... I don't know if I'm holding on to him just because I lost my virginity to him. Like...

1:03:53 Drew Well, you really like him, right?

1:03:55 Caller Yeah.

1:03:55 Drew Okay, that's one reason. Secondly, he sounds like he's left kind of suddenly. Thirdly, there always is that special bond of when you do have sex with someone and it seems extra intense when it's the first time.

1:04:05 Caller Yeah, and like when we broke up, it was kind of a mutual thing. But he said he still wants to stay friends with me and all that, but I feel like he's making no effort to me. Is that just because guys don't know how to show their emotions?

1:04:25 Adam Well, this guy doesn't really sound like he was your boyfriend.

1:04:28 Caller No, he was my boyfriend.

1:04:30 Adam How long was he your boyfriend for?

1:04:32 Caller About three months.

1:04:34 Drew Yeah, it's not very long. And then suddenly he decided to join the Army?

1:04:39 Caller Well, he was like struggling because he was unemployed for a little while. Like he...

1:04:46 Drew Let me get again. Suddenly he decided to join the Army?

1:04:50 Adam Yeah.

1:04:50 Drew And without consideration for your relationship?

1:04:53 Adam Yeah.

1:04:54 Drew Well, maybe he didn't think he was really in a relationship, or at least maybe that says something about the priority of that relationship in his life.

1:05:02 Adam When is he shipping out?

1:05:04 Caller The end of this month.

1:05:05 Adam And why aren't you together until the end of the month, and why can't you remain together?

1:05:12 Caller Because we decided it's not going to be fair on either of us because he's going to God.

1:05:18 Drew We decided?

1:05:19 Adam No, he decided it's not going to be fair because he wants to bang a lot of underage Taiwanese girls.

1:05:26 Caller He did say he's going to be gone for two years at the minimum, and seriously, I don't think I'd be faithful to him. He might not even be in the same country.

1:05:38 Drew That's realistic. Fair enough. But what we're saying is this guy may have had this plan already, and he really didn't put a lot of priority in this relationship.

1:05:45 Caller You know what? After he did say that he was going to join the Army, he did mention that he did want to join the Army earlier.

1:05:53 Drew Yeah, Sarah, just...

1:05:54 Caller Well, he didn't join because of a girl, and I don't want to be that girl who held him back from, like...

1:05:58 Caller All right.

1:06:01 Save Ferris He's a man with conviction.

1:06:02 Drew All right, here's the deal. It's going to hurt. That's it. It's not going to feel good. And let it go. Just get through it. Let it go. And the sooner you start that clock ticking of mourning the loss of this relationship, the quicker you'll be back with someone else feeling okay.

1:06:17 Adam You know what I love about this show? When people call and they try to convince us it was a mutual decision to break up how hard we lobby for, no, no, you were dumped, sweetie. You were dumped.

1:06:30 Drew It's like, oh, yeah.

1:06:33 Caller What do you think we're talking to here?

1:06:36 Adam He used you like an old Kleenex. You were one of many for him, sweet pea.

1:06:43 Caller He's shipping out. He's probably on top of someone right now.

1:06:46 Adam Oh, yeah. Maybe your best friend or your sister, possibly your mom. Oh, no, you were dumped. You won't be over this for a long time. Yeah, that's going to scar. That's the kind of thing that stays with you. Maybe 10 years of therapy. I mean, intensive psychotherapy, possibly, but you'll never be right. You're like a car that's been rolled. Yeah, put a fresh coat of paint on it, but it's always going to pull a little bit to the left. You know what I'm saying? You'll never be right, baby.

1:07:14 Save Ferris He sounds so bitter.

1:07:15 Adam Why can't we just go along with, yeah, okay, so it was a mutual decision and now you're both moving on.

1:07:21 Save Ferris I think it was a smart decision.

1:07:22 Drew I agree.

1:07:23 Save Ferris We agree. I agree.

1:07:24 Drew But she wasn't really...

1:07:25 Adam We felt like she was making it hers.

1:07:26 Drew You know what?

1:07:27 Save Ferris You're always going to like your first.

1:07:29 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:07:29 Save Ferris You're always going to be...

1:07:30 Drew Oh, yeah. We're just trying to get her connected more with reality. Yeah. The reason we, Adam, we think that way is we're never wrong.

1:07:37 Adam That's true.

1:07:37 Drew If we were wrong sometimes, we would have such conviction.

1:07:39 Save Ferris Right.

1:07:40 Adam It's hard to question yourself when you're always right.

1:07:43 Save Ferris I mean, why bother? You know what I'm saying?

1:07:45 Adam It's so futile. It's such a waste of time.

1:07:47 Drew If you're in the military now is having to protect... I was thinking about this military thing and they have to... These guys have to protect their... They have to be anonymous. They can't tell people they're in the army. And I thought about the drill sergeants we had in here.

1:08:01 Adam Or because of possible reprisals against their family.

1:08:05 Drew They could tear us targets over here. I thought how would guys like those boot camp sergeants hide the fact that they're in the military?

1:08:13 Caller You got another question, weirdo?

1:08:24 Adam That wasn't even on the show. I was constipated. I was trying to go to the toilet. We're running late for break. Drew sent the guys in to help me move it along a little bit. Motivate! Motivate!

1:08:35 Hurry up! Oh, I don't know.

1:08:40 Save Ferris You are making a killing tonight, Adam.

1:08:43 Drew Do that again.

1:08:44 Adam Superfly!

1:08:45 Caller Motivate!

1:08:49 Drew How could those guys hide their heritage?

1:08:53 Adam No. I think they are mainly talking about guys a little bit higher up on the ladder than DI, though. You know what I am saying? All right. Let's hop back to the phone and speak to Steven. It's 14, Steven.

1:09:05 Caller Hey.

1:09:06 Adam What's up?

1:09:07 Caller I am currently in a relationship and I think that I heard today from my best friend that there has been a rumor going around at the school that they go to. It's a long distance relationship that she might dump me.

1:09:23 Caller You got another question, Wendell?

1:09:26 Adam And your friend, does he go to the school that they go to?

1:09:30 Save Ferris Yeah.

1:09:31 Adam And you are the one who moved away?

1:09:33 Save Ferris Yeah.

1:09:33 Drew How far away?

1:09:34 Caller Thirty miles.

1:09:37 Drew How long have you been gone for?

1:09:39 Caller How long have I been moved away for?

1:09:41 Yeah.

1:09:43 Caller Probably like a little more than a year.

1:09:47 Drew And you have been maintaining this relationship all that time?

1:09:50 Caller Yeah.

1:09:50 Drew Has it been going okay?

1:09:52 Caller Yeah, up till now. And then I called my friend tonight and he said that he heard a rumor that she might dump me and he asked her...

1:10:00 Drew Look, at fourteen, a year in a relationship is like an eternity. Those relationships tend to kind of turn over about a year or so at your age. Whether or not you had something like distance or another stress to it, it's hard for relationships to make it through that.

1:10:14 Adam How often do you see her?

1:10:18 Caller Usually, I see her probably like almost every weekend.

1:10:24 Adam Have you noticed anything from her?

1:10:28 Caller Not in the past, but lately, yeah, I have.

1:10:33 Adam That's what we're talking about. So maybe that's the direction she's going.

1:10:38 Drew You've got to expect that in a relationship, so you're ready to just see where it goes.

1:10:41 Adam Yeah.

1:10:42 Caller Ask her about it or?

1:10:43 Save Ferris Yeah.

1:10:46 Adam She might get into denial. I'll tell you what, Steven.

1:10:49 Caller Yeah.

1:10:50 Adam Here's the deal. If she wants to break up, she will let you know through her actions. She will probably not want to confront you, but it'll be something like you'll call her tomorrow and say, so I'm coming out there this weekend and she'll go, oh, you know, this weekend's bad because we got a school trip going on or some nonsense like that. Magically, three weekends will go by and for one good excuse or another, you'll not be over there. And then you've got to listen to that. Listen to the actions, everybody, because people do it all the time. Like if you call her up and go, I heard a rumor you weren't in love with me. Oh, no, no, no. No, that's not true. I still love you. You love me? Yeah, yeah. Because I heard from Kurt, no, no. That's what you're going to get. But listen to the actions.

1:11:39 Save Ferris I've done it a million times.

1:11:40 Drew A million times?

1:11:43 Adam Maybe 1.5. Are you going to see her this weekend?

1:11:47 Caller No, actually, I'm going to visit my grandparents in Northeast Oregon this weekend.

1:11:52 Save Ferris Sure you are. Yeah.

1:11:53 Adam And do you think, see, you can't test it then because you're the one that's going out of town.

1:11:59 Save Ferris Yeah.

1:11:59 Drew Is she weird with you on the phone?

1:12:01 Caller What?

1:12:01 Drew Is she getting a little weird with you on the phone?

1:12:04 Caller Yeah, actually, I called her last night or I tried to and I couldn't get a hold of her and I'm fine. Since 5.30, I couldn't get a hold of her.

1:12:11 Drew Is that unusual?

1:12:13 Caller Yeah, kind of.

1:12:15 Adam Alright, listen, Stephen, you can feel it out over the next couple of weeks. Just promise me that if it's over, it's over. You're 14.

1:12:27 Drew A lot of good years ahead.

1:12:28 Adam You have at least three years. Three good years ahead of you. Do you guys know that feeling? And it was sort of creeping in a little when he said he called her and he couldn't find her and she couldn't call him. Call the call the call. Yeah, but do you guys know that? Can remember that feeling and we've all been through it a few dozen times where you think it's going pretty good with somebody or you're still really into somebody and you think they're pretty much into you. And there's that thing like you call them. And they used to call back because they would check their messages and whatnot. They would call back like at least not more than two hours would go by. They'd call from work or whatever. And this time you called and you didn't hear back from them that night and you talked to them the next day.

1:13:14 Drew Like a spear in the sky.

1:13:15 Adam And they were like, I'm sorry, babe. I was at work. I was working real hard. I got really distracted.

1:13:19 Drew No, they get a little lamer. Some truly lame excuse comes through right then.

1:13:23 Adam Yeah, but it's usually not a big one at that point.

1:13:26 Drew But it's lame. It's like...

1:13:28 Adam No, but they called from work every other night, but this time they didn't. And it was like, yeah, we had a meeting. We got kind of distracted. Rehearsal went late. And you're thinking, okay, don't panic, don't get weird. But you're getting that little creepin feeling, like, all right, we'll see.

1:13:46 Drew And that feeling is approaching desperation. It's like moving into desperation.

1:13:50 Adam And then the date comes and then you go out on Friday and it's like the movie's over, the dinner's over, and you go, you want to go back to my place? And they go, I got to get up early tomorrow. And now that feeling's starting to creep. So you want to sleep over and we'll just get you up early? I got to leave really early so I think I should just spend the night at my place and all of a sudden it's like, oh, you know. And then it's like, could I get a blowjob then? I had some dental work down in Irvine.

1:14:20 Caller I did some dental work.

1:14:21 Adam I had a root canal.

1:14:23 Caller I had a sore throat.

1:14:25 Adam And now you're starting to slide into Desperate a little. And then you're like, well why don't I sleep over at your place then if you've got to get up. Well I don't know. I don't want to hassle you. You've got to get in somewhere.

1:14:36 Drew Then you want to lock in next weekend. Yeah.

1:14:37 Adam Now you've got to lock in it. Alright. So.

1:14:40 Drew So on Friday I'll see you for the movie and then we'll get to you. No. No.

1:14:42 Adam Next week is too far because it's Friday now. Well how about Tuesday then? Well and then it's this. And here's where it really starts sinking. Next week's pretty hectic but I think we might be able to do it. Call me Monday. Call me Monday night and we'll see what we can see about. And you're going, Oh no, no, no, because you know when you call Monday night it ain't going down. And then you say that, here's what you say to yourself, Okay, that's cool. I'll call Monday night and I ain't going to press. I'll just call Monday night and I'll say, Remember we talked about maybe getting together Tuesday and if she wants to get together, great. But if not, fine. And then you call Monday night and it's like, you're hearing the voice and then you start to panic and now you're screwed.

1:15:26 Save Ferris That's when you ask if it's over.

1:15:29 Adam No, no, no, you don't.

1:15:29 Drew Guys don't. They got a pound for another week or two.

1:15:33 Adam No, here's the guy I move. You play cool. Yeah, Monday night. What about Tuesday? You don't even need to hear the answers. That little air that comes out before the no.

1:15:48 Caller Sometimes it's sucking in.

1:15:50 Caller Other times it's out.

1:15:53 Adam You know it's bad.

1:15:54 Caller How about Tuesday?

1:15:57 Save Ferris You're like, oh, no, no, you should just hang up.

1:15:59 Adam You hear it's ever like, huh? Yeah, it sounds like, huh?

1:16:06 Drew I'm sorry.

1:16:07 Save Ferris Yeah, I'm so sorry.

1:16:08 Adam You seem like a nice guy, nappy head.

1:16:10 Drew But you're just not getting it.

1:16:12 Save Ferris Yeah, yeah.

1:16:12 Bucktoothed, frill-o-head.

1:16:14 Save Ferris You sound like a nice guy.

1:16:17 Save Ferris It's more like big bald, bucktoothed, frill-o-head.

1:16:19 Save Ferris Big bald, bucktoothed, frill-o-head.

1:16:21 Drew Are you bald now, too?

1:16:22 Adam No, how dare you? How dare you? But listen, here, here's, so, no, no, no, big balls.

1:16:28 Caller Oh, big balls, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:16:30 Save Ferris Big balls, bucktoothed, frill-o-head, hip, b, b, and b.

1:16:35 Adam But, but then here's what you do then. As a guy, no, it's not over yet. Because as a guy, you do this, you get cool. You go, yeah, okay, uh, well, wait, whenever then, all right, I'm cool. Maybe next weekend, maybe whenever, and you hang up the phone, and you go, I'll ice her down just a little bit, and she'll crack.

1:16:52 Drew What's Ray doing? What's Chris doing?

1:16:54 Adam Yeah, I'll call my buddies. I'm not going to call her, and I won't, I won't call. And I won't call tomorrow, because she's expecting me to call her, and I'm going to call her tomorrow. She thinks I'm going to call her tomorrow and see what's going on on Friday. Now, we're not going to ever, you know what, I ain't going to call her, she's going to call me. And then you don't call, but then Wednesday, you get drunk.

1:17:11 Save Ferris And you're like, listen bitch, listen bitch, I got to know.

1:17:18 Adam You're playing me bitch, what's going on? Seriously, Friday, and then it slides into this. Look, I need to see you Friday, I just need to talk to you, I need to talk to you Friday.

1:17:29 Drew We need to get together, we need to talk.

1:17:30 Adam We'll talk over the phone. No, I need to see you in person on Friday. I can't, because I got my grandmother's Friday, we're taught, I'm coming, I'm coming over.

1:17:41 Drew I need my baseball mitt.

1:17:42 Save Ferris Oh, Drew, don't get personal.

1:17:45 Adam Don't get personal with the baseball mitt.

1:17:48 Caller Bitch wasn't even there.

1:17:49 Adam Sister had to let me in. What are you here for, Stephanie?

1:17:52 Caller I need my mitt.

1:17:56 Drew Renzi gets the mitt, found it under the bed?

1:17:58 Adam No, I found the mitt in the closet, but I thought my softball was under the bed.

1:18:03 Drew But what did you find instead?

1:18:05 Adam Spent condom. And it didn't even smell like me. And it tasted less.

1:18:18 Drew But that's the ultimate. That's when that feeling becomes.

1:18:23 Adam Cry, beat off, both.

1:18:26 Drew Right there.

1:18:28 Adam Spontaneous Jack and Cry.

1:18:32 Save Ferris River of tears and semen coming under the door. All right.

1:18:36 Caller That's some funny stuff.

1:18:38 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Save Ferris here, and we'll be back. Hey, everybody. This is my theme song, right? I've decided I needed a theme song to be playing when I, like, entered restaurants and bars and just got the mail and stuff, you know, let people know I was coming.

1:19:00 Drew It's kind of a Rockies theme song.

1:19:01 Caller Yeah.

1:19:03 Drew Oh, wait a minute.

1:19:04 Adam This is a new one, yeah. This is the one I've decided on. Actually, here's what it's like. The first song is what's playing in my head as I enter the bar.

1:19:17 Drew This is what everybody sees.

1:19:18 Adam The second song is what everybody hears and sees. This is what's going on in my head as I swing into the bar and I'm checking out the scene, doing that finger point thing, making eyes with the hot-looking bartender and ordering a beer.

1:19:30 Drew And here's what everyone hears and sees.

1:19:31 Adam Here's what everyone else hears as I enter the bar.

1:19:41 Save Ferris Don't we all go through life that way to a certain extent?

1:19:45 Drew I hear this in my head and this is what other people see.

1:19:49 Adam Right.

1:19:50 That's what's different about me.

1:19:51 Save Ferris That's right.

1:19:52 Adam But when you see the guy with the mullet and the bad wrap around Oakley Shades, you know, the blades on and the members only jacket. Oh yeah. Isn't that the song that's going on in his head when you're looking at this guy thinking about Peak Patrol?

1:20:08 Drew Yep.

1:20:08 Adam Yeah.

1:20:09 Drew I think this is Drew's right here.

1:20:15 Caller I wish.

1:20:19 Save Ferris What would mine be?

1:20:20 Drew If either people could see it or I could hear it, either would be fine with me.

1:20:24 Adam Well, your song would be one of your songs, right?

1:20:27 Save Ferris Oh, no. No.

1:20:29 Caller Like this?

1:20:33 Save Ferris This would be you.

1:20:36 Adam It could be you.

1:20:38 Save Ferris The motorhead or something?

1:20:39 Caller It starts to cuss right there.

1:20:40 Adam Who is it?

1:20:41 Caller That was Snot.

1:20:42 Caller That was Snot. Oh, Snot. Oh.

1:20:45 Adam You like Snot? What happened to Snot? Somebody died in Snot?

1:20:49 Caller Who?

1:20:50 Adam Oh, what happened?

1:20:51 Caller A couple years ago.

1:20:53 Caller Car accident.

1:20:54 Caller Oh, I remember that.

1:20:55 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I worked with the guys from Sugar Ray or something talking about that or I sort of remember something like that. All right, let's, why do you have to bring us down with the Snot and the death and everything?

1:21:08 Save Ferris Okay, come on. My thing would be a skinner, it's all.

1:21:11 Caller What's up? Oh.

1:21:14 Adam Marla?

1:21:15 Save Ferris Hi.

1:21:16 Adam Hey, you're 22.

1:21:17 Save Ferris Hi.

1:21:18 Adam What's up?

1:21:19 Caller Okay, well, I have a little bit of a problem.

1:21:21 Adam All right.

1:21:21 Caller Okay, I need all your guys' minds here to tell me what you guys think I should do. I mean, I just had like my first, I just broke up with my first boyfriend. We had sex and stuff, and he videotaped on two occasions that I know of.

1:21:37 Drew This was obviously his first girlfriend, too.

1:21:40 Caller No.

1:21:40 Drew Oh, shocked.

1:21:41 Save Ferris No, no, no.

1:21:42 Drew I'm shocked.

1:21:43 Caller Well, why? Why are you shocked?

1:21:46 Adam He videotaped the whole thing.

1:21:49 Caller Well, I know, but I'm pretty kinky, so I'm okay with that.

1:21:54 Adam Hold on. Did you say you lost your virginity to him, though?

1:21:56 Caller Yeah, I did.

1:21:57 Drew How do you know you're kinky?

1:22:00 Caller Well, I don't know, because there's a lot of things that I'm sure that I was willing to try. That sounds fun, you know?

1:22:05 Adam All right.

1:22:06 Caller Okay. So one time I was walking into the kitchen, he was cooking us breakfast after spending the night, and he was watching a tape of us. It was a tape that I had no idea that he videotaped. It was like one that we had one time where we had sex in the morning.

1:22:25 Adam Where was the vantage point of the video camera? Where do you think he hid it?

1:22:29 Caller Well, he didn't hide it. Like he said that, he just wanted to watch it on the big screen, like on the TV set, and hook it up so he can watch it, but there wasn't an actual tape in there.

1:22:39 Drew What does this guy do for a living?

1:22:42 Caller Right now, he doesn't work because he has money invested in the stock market, and I know that's true because his dad passed away and he got money from a lawsuit and he has money in the stock market.

1:22:53 Drew I get total sociopaths from this guy.

1:22:55 Caller Do you think so?

1:22:55 Drew Yeah. This guy, yeah. I just get the bad guy.

1:22:58 Caller Yeah. He really hurt me bad.

1:22:59 Drew Yeah. Why are you attracted to guys like that?

1:23:03 Caller You know what? I don't know. I don't know that. I was attracted to him. I don't know if it's anything wrong with me. I think that like, I don't know.

1:23:12 Adam What money does this guy make on a lawsuit?

1:23:16 Caller His dad, like, was injured in a home. And he showed me a bank statement that he had, like, about $31,000 in the bank. So, I mean, it's like not a lot of money. But he was telling me that, like, he told me that he wanted to marry me in crazy cred like that.

1:23:35 Drew Why are you attracted to bad guys like that?

1:23:37 Adam Where's your dad?

1:23:39 Caller My dad's a preacher.

1:23:40 Adam Oh, that's always bad.

1:23:43 Drew No wonder she's king.

1:23:44 Caller My dad's a really good guy.

1:23:45 Drew Is this sort of some sort of compensation, some acting out, some defiance, some...

1:23:50 Caller Maybe a little bit.

1:23:51 Drew Maybe you just need to learn your lesson about this.

1:23:53 Caller Not to the point where it's going to hurt me, you know?

1:23:55 Drew Well, you are hurt right now.

1:23:57 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:23:58 Drew Okay, well, you hurt yourself. Maybe you got to learn something from this.

1:24:01 Adam Well, what do you want to know? You want to try to get the videotape back?

1:24:03 Caller Okay, like, okay, I want to ask him for the taste back, but there's no way for sure that I'm going to know that he's handing over everything now.

1:24:12 Adam And look, here's the deal, Marla. I really hate to kick you while you're down, but this guy is like a world class A-hole, and I know guys like this. And by the way, and I don't know, from time to time, I think about these guys, maybe you grew up with guys whose paths have crossed your life and stuff like that. You guys who are listening, kill yourselves, please. Please kill yourselves. You're so flawed, and I know...

1:24:43 Caller You don't care for him, though.

1:24:44 Caller No, no, I like him to kill himself.

1:24:47 Drew You're careful who you thought he was.

1:24:48 Adam I'm talking to my friends right now. I'm saying kill yourselves. I know you've done no harm to anybody, really. I mean, having to run over anyone in your car or anything, but you're just, you're so flawed. There's people that are just flawed, you know? And this guy, this guy's never going to hand over the tapes. This guy's going to make a copy and hand over the copy. Right, because he has no soul and you don't exist to him. Because other humans don't exist to him.

1:25:13 Drew Except to serve his needs.

1:25:15 Adam That's right.

1:25:16 Drew In this case, service his needs.

1:25:18 Adam Right.

1:25:19 Save Ferris Well, what if she's sneaky about it? What if she just comes in unannounced one day and waits till he goes to the bathroom? That's what I would do. I would fully, I would do the full, like, But I can get trouble by the authorities.

1:25:32 Drew You know what she's saying? Listen, here's this guy's gonna call the cop. Yeah, he's gonna call the cop. Here's the trouble. He filmed you without your knowledge.

1:25:40 Caller Okay?

1:25:41 Drew Can't do that.

1:25:41 Save Ferris But if he lets her in, she'll knock on the door and he'll let her in. Come on in and have a cup of coffee.

1:25:47 Drew And just run out with the tapes.

1:25:49 Save Ferris Yeah, wait till he goes to the bathroom.

1:25:51 Adam Marla, here's-

1:25:51 Save Ferris That's what I would do. Run into the closet, take him back.

1:25:54 Adam Here's the bottom line. Listen to me, sweetie. If you call him and say, I need that tape and I'm coming over there to get it, he will make five dupes.

1:26:04 Caller He will.

1:26:05 Save Ferris No, go over unannounced.

1:26:06 Adam Hey, you absolutely have to-

1:26:07 Caller What if he's listening right now?

1:26:09 Adam Well, then you're screwed.

1:26:11 Caller Edward, I hate you.

1:26:13 Drew Marla, here, first and foremost, count your blessings. Count your blessings. Just be thankful you've learned something, you're in one piece, you're getting out of there. Just be thankful for that.

1:26:22 Caller Should I go to counseling to find out, like, why I like him?

1:26:25 Drew If you- not necessarily.

1:26:26 Caller I didn't have sex with him until five months afterward.

1:26:28 Drew And you gotta find out, if you do this again, then it's time to find out. A lot of women your age have to go through this one.

1:26:35 Adam Okay, listen, you want those tapes? Do you know what this tape looks like? How many tapes does he have?

1:26:40 Caller I don't know what those tapes look like.

1:26:41 Drew She doesn't even know. One day she walks in-

1:26:43 Caller Shut up, Drew. They're like from the video camera, the little itty bitty one.

1:26:46 Save Ferris Okay, hold on.

1:26:48 Adam Hold on. Shut up.

1:26:49 Drew Jesus.

1:26:50 Adam It's the little tapes. So you know it's on one of those micro tapes.

1:26:54 Drew She doesn't know how many there are, though.

1:26:56 Adam I know she does not, but there's no-

1:26:58 Caller I always take every single one of them.

1:26:59 Adam That's right. But you don't know. Did you physically see this tape ever? Because he was watching it in the kitchen.

1:27:07 Caller In the camera. And he put, like he would put the small tape into the large tape and then play it in the VCR.

1:27:13 Adam Right. Okay. So you're going to need to just grab those tapes. Now you'll probably see friends and family members getting effed too when you go to look at them. You'll probably get a whole collection.

1:27:26 Drew And just the pets and, oh, for god sakes.

1:27:28 Adam Pets. Now look, this guy deserves nothing. You grab all those tapes and get the hell out of there.

1:27:35 Save Ferris I'd just go right in there.

1:27:37 Adam Listen, if you know some guy who plays some junior college football or something, bring some muscle over. Exactly. I got friends who do that stuff. They do it with great pleasure. They'll just go over there. They'll walk right in. They'll get the guy in a headlock. You'll go into the room. You'll take a pillowcase. You'll fill a pillowcase with whatever tapes he has. You say to him, listen, calm down. You'll get everyone back except for the one with me on it. Just sit down, shut the F up, and in a couple weeks you'll get them all back. You're going to leave. And that's it. Listen, let me tell you something. I know I got one friend who's into this. He's got to take a picture of everyone's boobs and all that kind of stuff. What is it with these guys?

1:28:17 Caller Is he the same kind of guy as this?

1:28:19 Adam No, he's probably not that bad. But they have that gene. They all have that little sociopath gene.

1:28:25 Drew Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. That's the way he is like this.

1:28:27 Adam Right. Listen, you guys, kill yourselves, please. Please. I would rather have a guy... I really would rather hang out with a guy who got busted for murder if it was under the right circumstances. You know what I mean? I'd rather hang with a guy who said, What happened? This dude raped my kid sister. I had a few paps, tall boys, and went over there and just put a hunting knife in his liver. Man, I couldn't help it. I freaked out. I'd rather hang out with that dude than this dude who had a life where he never got no trouble with the law, just lawsuits and naked filming of people and... It's the creep... .just those creepy dudes. I'd like to say this. Look, any of you who have, let's say, more than three lawsuits in the last 10 years, kill yourself. Kill yourself. Hey, you ballless fags, just kill yourself.

1:29:18 Caller Would ya?

1:29:20 Adam Please, take a look in the mirror and then kill yourself.

1:29:23 Caller Alright, I'm gonna go call her quick.

1:29:24 Drew Come on.

1:29:24 Adam I mean it.

1:29:25 Drew Then we'll hear a song.

1:29:28 Caller I know you do.

1:29:28 Drew I know.

1:29:29 Adam I mean, no, let me just say this real fast before we go to the phones. Here's the deal. And Drew and I were talking about this yesterday, I believe. How many, as it comes to this society, we're all talking about the airport, how much time it's gonna take to get through the airport, all the hassle and all this kind of stuff. How many people are we trying to catch? Do you know what I mean, who passed through the airport? One out of every thousand guys? No. One out of every million? Probably less than that. We're all aft, we're all screwed because one guy out of every five million of us is going to do something weird on the airplane. And now we can all park our cars a mile away and take the shuttle in, we can all get frisked by some 500 pound black woman in her 50s, we can all go through the metal detector, we can all wait in line, we can, I can break, I have to break the file off of my nail clippers and throw it away so that I can get on the plane. Why? Because of one guy. One guy out of five million guys, and what about all the lawsuits, and what about all the litigation, and what about all the warning labels and the aspirin that I can't get the knob at the top off of, and the lighter that doesn't work, because one idiot put one lawsuit in, and you know what? These guys, they have multiple lawsuits, and basically what I'm saying is this, there's one guy for every five million good people on this planet, there's one eff up who's screwing it for all of us, and please kill yourself. These people, kill yourself. Kill yourself now.

1:31:05 Caller Do it now.

1:31:06 Adam Do it tonight.

1:31:07 Caller Do it.

1:31:08 Adam Please, I'll send $20 to your relatives. If you just kill yourself now. You with the 13 lawsuits, you have sued five different casinos because you took a spill in the lobby. Kill yourself now. Please, you're holding us up. Yay. Thank you. We never think about it that way, but it's not 10% of the population. It's one effort.

1:31:32 Save Ferris You know, I've never thought about it like that.

1:31:33 Adam One guy out of millions, all of us, everyone you know, we all sit in line at the airport. We all just sit there for one guy. One guy who's screwing all of us. And if that guy could just kill himself. What a great utopia we'd be living in right now.

1:31:49 Drew Before you take this call about Monique's clothing line.

1:31:51 Adam Oh yeah.

1:31:51 Caller I'm trying to get to over the last 10 minutes.

1:31:53 Drew Sure, I want to talk about that. Let's hear a song.

1:31:55 Adam Yeah, let's hear the song about the clothing line. Christy.

1:31:59 Adam Where do you care, Drew?

1:32:01 Drew We'll never get to that song. I know it.

1:32:03 Adam Why do you, hold on a second. Let me say something about Drew that cracks me up. Drew is such a crazy task master that he said to me tonight like, hey, we gotta play, there's a couple of Save Ferris songs and we gotta play a few pieces of them. Because somebody said to Drew before the show, here's what we're going to do. We're going to play, come on, we're going to play a couple of clips from a couple of Save Ferris. I said, Drew, now it's his job. Now he's on this. And I'm like, yeah, all right, we'll play the songs.

1:32:30 Caller He's got to love him.

1:32:31 Adam I know, but he's such a pain in the ass.

1:32:33 Save Ferris He's such a pain in the ass with that stuff. Is that you that told him, Drew? I told you, Adam.

1:32:39 Drew I didn't tell Drew on purpose. No, the Wrangler.

1:32:42 Adam The record guy told, the record Wrangler told Drew, we got to play a couple of songs and now Drew is going insane because there's only 20 minutes left.

1:32:49 Drew And Monique seems very excited about it too and I wanted to make her pass.

1:32:52 Adam We will play the song but this is her clothing line here too.

1:32:55 Drew We're gonna get to that too if you stop talking.

1:32:58 Adam Don't make me get into the liners when you go nuts for those things.

1:33:02 Save Ferris Okay, when I'm jumping on the trampoline on your show, Adam, that's the song you have to play. The Drunken Elephant song.

1:33:10 Adam Christy, you got a question for Monique?

1:33:13 Caller Oh my God, am I always these girls? Yes.

1:33:19 Caller Oh my God, I want to tell you guys, I'm a huge, huge fan and I really love your guys' music. I've been a fan for a very long time and I think you guys' stuff is great.

1:33:27 Save Ferris Thanks Christy.

1:33:28 Caller And I just saw you guys at the L-Ray a couple weeks ago. You guys rocked.

1:33:31 Save Ferris Thank you.

1:33:32 Caller Oh, you're awesome.

1:33:34 Caller And I love the new stuff. And I have a quick question. Yeah. How did you guys get, is it Grace from Fairview to join you guys on Gina?

1:33:47 Save Ferris Grace is a friend of ours.

1:33:49 Adam Who's Grace from Fairview?

1:33:50 Save Ferris She's a young lady who plays keyboards in Fairview.

1:33:54 Drew What about the clothing line?

1:33:55 Adam Yeah, what about the clothing line?

1:33:57 Save Ferris Oh, all right.

1:33:57 Adam Do you have a clothing line?

1:33:59 Save Ferris I do, but I didn't think we'd make such a big deal about it.

1:34:02 Adam Well, we weren't, but she was going to ask about it, but she didn't.

1:34:05 Save Ferris It's called M Squared and we sell out of one store right now.

1:34:09 Adam Where is it?

1:34:10 Save Ferris It's called Blest, B-L-E-S-T, and it's on Cahuenga just south of Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood.

1:34:16 Save Ferris All right.

1:34:17 Adam And what kind of stuff do you have?

1:34:18 Save Ferris Mainly couture, it's mainly handmade. It's similar to a lot of stuff I wear on stage.

1:34:23 Save Ferris All right.

1:34:24 Adam So you're fans and people are fans of bands and go get it.

1:34:27 Caller Good stuff. All right.

1:34:29 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Drew, I promise we'll come back with a Save Ferris song.

1:34:33 Caller Promise.

1:34:36 Caller Hey, guys, this is Brooke Burke, and you're listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline.

1:34:42 Adam Yes, he is. That's Brooke Burke from E Wild on whatever, the Fung Back Show. She's super hot, that Brooke Burke. But I think she kind of acts like she knows it.

1:34:58 Drew Kind of?

1:34:58 Adam Well, she very much acts like she knows it. Thank you. Drew didn't get a great vibe off of Brooke Burke.

1:35:04 Caller All right, let's bless you.

1:35:10 Save Ferris Please bring it on.

1:35:12 Adam I swear if I had something, I would let it fly. I don't have any.

1:35:16 Save Ferris Can I light it?

1:35:18 Adam I know this.

1:35:18 Caller You know he does that here?

1:35:20 Save Ferris Have you done that here?

1:35:22 Drew You haven't done it in a while though because you don't wear the right pants.

1:35:25 Adam I'm wearing a lot of sweat pants.

1:35:26 We're going into winter now.

1:35:27 Drew You got to start wearing jeans again so we can really get some.

1:35:30 Save Ferris Jeans are hard though because you can't push the gas out of them as well.

1:35:32 Drew One time it looked like the Afghan desert here.

1:35:35 Adam It was just lit up like a tomahawk missile.

1:35:39 Save Ferris It was like Disneyland at night.

1:35:40 Drew Oh yeah. No, one time.

1:35:41 Save Ferris Summer nights.

1:35:42 Drew A mushroom cloud. Remember that one?

1:35:46 Adam Where actually the ones that are really good break off from the anus and have their own cloud of flame. Yeah.

1:35:54 Save Ferris I think I've seen them all with these guys.

1:35:56 Caller People...

1:35:57 Save Ferris Big blue flames.

1:35:58 Adam I am surprised that we speak to adults who have thought this is... think of this as a wives tale. Like they have no idea some sort of urban legend. This lighting of the gas. I am telling you... He's probably not. My buddy, the Wees, we used to live together, lit a cigarette off of my ass. Off of my lighting, my ass.

1:36:21 Drew Having now witnessed Adam's talent, he's not talking about holding the cigarette up to his ass. He's not holding the cigarette, you know, in somebody's mouth. Six inches away from the action.

1:36:30 Adam Yeah, he was up. The flame came up and got the cigarette.

1:36:33 Drew That's right. That's incredible. It's like a bullwhip out, reaching out to snap it out of her mouth. Let's hear the song, Gina, shall we?

1:36:38 Adam Yeah. You know, it's funny, sometimes I'm driving and I think, I wonder if anyone else throughout history has lit a cigarette off of a fart.

1:36:46 Drew What do you mean, like Napoleon or?

1:36:48 Caller I haven't done that.

1:36:49 Adam I don't mean a great literary figure or just a great figure.

1:36:52 Save Ferris That's something I haven't done.

1:36:53 Adam That's what I'm thinking. And I'm thinking, so sometimes I go, no, I bet I'm the only guy. And then I think, nah, someone must have done that.

1:37:01 Save Ferris I did light a cigarette in Europe.

1:37:04 Adam Off of what? Queef.

1:37:07 Save Ferris Drew, were you there? When Ed put a lighter in his foreskin.

1:37:11 Adam Really? And he lit a cigarette off it? Well, in Europe, they're all in circumcise. Who was this guy?

1:37:18 Save Ferris A good friend of the man.

1:37:20 Drew The lighter in his foreskin.

1:37:21 Adam He took the lighter and he slid it under his foreskin, so it was like hanging off of his penis.

1:37:28 Drew So he looked like a penis lighter.

1:37:30 Save Ferris He got dared to do it, yeah. And then I got dared to...

1:37:33 Drew Light the cigarette.

1:37:35 Save Ferris No, I had to walk down the stairs of the haunted hotel naked at 4 o'clock in the morning and get beers out of the truck.

1:37:41 Adam And you did it?

1:37:42 Save Ferris In the rain. Oh yeah.

1:37:44 Adam Wow.

1:37:44 Save Ferris It was funny.

1:37:45 Adam You got balls, baby.

1:37:46 Drew You got a miniature of this.

1:37:47 Adam All right.

1:37:48 Drew This is why I was thinking...

1:37:49 Save Ferris For a moment I epitomized the perfect woman naked with beer, booze.

1:37:54 Adam Boobs.

1:37:55 Save Ferris Except for the stretch marks. I don't know. I kind of...

1:37:57 Save Ferris I like stretch marks.

1:37:59 Save Ferris Really?

1:37:59 Adam It means there's big boobs nearby.

1:38:02 Save Ferris Well, I'm definitely dressed in the spirit for Halloween.

1:38:04 Adam Big boobs are coming.

1:38:06 Caller All right.

1:38:06 Adam We're going to hear a sample of a new Save Ferris song. And is this from a movie or is this going to be on the new CD?

1:38:14 Caller But this is just a new song.

1:38:15 Save Ferris Gina's going to be a new song.

1:38:16 Caller All right.

1:38:17 Adam Here we go.

1:39:29 Save Ferris Oh, come on, Monique.

1:39:31 Adam Can we hear a little more?

1:39:33 Drew You like it, huh?

1:39:34 Adam Yeah, I like them both. They're both very catchy, very hooky, very good. Yeah, just real clean and upbeat, and they really sound good. Really sounds good, and it's like a real departure, but it's definitely a departure from the stuff we're used to hearing from you guys.

1:39:55 Caller Yeah, we sort of kind of were trying to use different instruments with the new stuff and get away from like doing the same thing over and over again.

1:40:02 Save Ferris Yeah.

1:40:03 Adam Yeah, it sounds, I mean, it just sounds great.

1:40:05 Save Ferris We wanted to recapture a little bit of the youth of the early days of Save Ferris, too.

1:40:11 Adam It. So listen, I at the risk of being called a wuss. I like stuff like that. I mean, I don't know, all that sort of like Nervosa and Smashing Dumplings and whatever the kids are listening to these days.

1:40:30 Caller You're gay.

1:40:31 Adam No, I just mean, I just mean all that sort of Limp Bizkit bang your head stuff. It's all right if you're pissed off and you're like wakeboarding at the same time or something. When I'm driving in my car and I'm not in a bad mood, I don't feel like I'm not angry anymore. That was like, I'm happy now. I like to hear stuff that's like a little.

1:40:53 Caller We have the anger songs too.

1:40:55 Save Ferris We got something for every mood. Yeah, like this is actually.

1:41:01 Adam Something I can dance to.

1:41:03 Caller Yeah.

1:41:04 Caller But is this Cousin Oliver's theme from like the Brady Boys? Yeah, Cousin Troosin out.

1:41:08 Save Ferris This is one of those songs you just want to listen to when you wake up in the morning.

1:41:11 Caller That's right.

1:41:12 Save Ferris It just gets you going like a good cup of coffee.

1:41:15 Adam I think Katrina in the Waves did this one.

1:41:17 Drew Gilligan walking with the chimpanzee.

1:41:19 Caller That's right.

1:41:20 Adam No, the guy in the gorilla suit.

1:41:23 Caller Yeah, right.

1:41:24 Adam All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with more of my theme song, which I'm here is going to be sampled by Moby, that upcoming project after this. Angelica Bridges is going to be in here tomorrow night. She's been on this show, right, Drew? We know her somehow.

1:41:54 Drew It sounds familiar.

1:41:55 Adam She's got to be hot with that name.

1:41:57 Drew And then Lit, and then Ozzy.

1:41:58 Adam Ozzy Osbourne?

1:42:02 Save Ferris Can I come in on the night you guys do Travis?

1:42:05 Adam Yeah.

1:42:08 Save Ferris Really?

1:42:08 Adam I remember Ozzy Osbourne was in Black Sabbath many years ago, but has he done anything since he got out of Sabbath? I mean, jeez, that must have been in the 70s. Well, maybe they're on some sort of reunion tour or something. We'll find out. We'll find out. I'm curious to see what he looks like.

1:42:24 Save Ferris All right.

1:42:25 Adam Save Ferris, everybody. Thank you. The new stuff sounds great. Yeah. It really does. I can't wait for that new CD to come out. Hopefully sometime in February, and when it does, then you come back, right? Yeah.

1:42:39 All right.

1:42:39 Adam So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:42:43 Caller You're gone, so grown up, so gone, so grown up now. I must say more than ever.

1:42:50 Adam Da-da-da-da.

1:42:52 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the stations. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2001