Episode 1000754886969

0:58 Voiceover Sexually Oriented Contact, Contact, Listener Discretion, Disadvise. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12 Adam Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Who? Relax, Dr. Drew. He's joined us in the Loveline Studios. He's back once again. What'd you do, go off to college?

1:26 Drew I was with Michael Jackson in Carnegie Hall last night.

1:29 Adam Oh, I see.

1:29 Drew You must know.

1:30 Adam Playing his nose, what were you doing then?

1:33 Drew I was struggling a little too tight. No, we were doing a charity called Heal the Children. It's actually a noble cause. Your friend Judith Regan was there with me, as a matter of fact.

1:41 Adam She was a dynamite colossal bitch.

1:44 Drew Oh, relax. Screw her. I had a nice time with her.

1:47 Adam Screw that Judith Regan and her crappy cable show.

1:49 Drew Johnny Cochran, Johnny Cochran was there.

1:51 Adam Another fantastic individual.

1:53 Drew Rabbi Shmuley.

1:54 Adam Rabbi Shmuley's good. Johnny and Judith, I'll see you in hell. And they'll be there long before I am. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-840-4051. Dr. Drew, still a board certified physician. Addiction medicine specialist. And Gatabout Town. He likes to be seen with all the big celebrities. Allison, tonight by the way we're talking about Temptation Island, which of course airs Wednesday nights at 9 o'clock on the Fabulous Fox. We have Allison and Dano both here, both singles. Now I'm reading the little breakdown. I have been watching the show. I think I have seen every episode.

2:43 Drew Really?

2:44 Adam Well there's only been like 5, right?

2:46 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I didn't realize you were.

2:48 Adam Lean up on the mic there, Kitty says. Has there been how many have aired? Five? Five. Yes, I have seen. Well, let's see the show starts at 9.

2:59 Drew Mark Wahlberg was with me last night. Speaking of Temptation Island, Mark Wahlberg what?

3:04 Mark L.

3:05 Adam Wahlberg. And he'll be in here next week, right?

3:10 Guest The show.

3:11 Adam Is the show a half hour or an hour?

3:12 Guest One hour.

3:13 Adam OK, that's where I'm getting screwed because I can only watch from 9 to 9.30 and then I have to leave for this gig. So I've been missing the pivotal pivotal half hour. Alison is the 28 year old physician, former Playboy model. Oh, hey, Alison is one of the singles on the island. And Dano is a 25 year old professional motocross racer. Now, Alison, you were chosen to go. You're picked by Kaia to go on or Kaia to go on. It's Kaia, right?

3:48 Yeah, David. Yeah, Kaia.

3:50 Adam Yeah, to go on the final date, right?

3:52 Yeah.

3:53 Adam And Dano, your your future is still unknown at this point.

3:57 Guest We're still unknown here, man. I'm hanging on by a limb.

4:01 Adam You're both still on the island now, right?

4:03 Yeah.

4:04 Adam OK, I got that.

4:05 In our own heads.

4:06 Drew Dano, did the collarbone fracture, the clavicle fracture, occur on the island or is this?

4:12 Guest After I was just practicing on my Yamaha YZ215 and just kind of wadded it up.

4:17 Drew I guess on the Yamaha team.

4:19 Adam Yeah, good plug. Yeah, I did see Dano at the Super Cross Race, so I'd forgotten all about it, but I could have been drunk.

4:29 Guest Yeah, we were at the premiere for Showtime's movie, so Jeremy McGrath.

4:34 Adam Oh, I was definitely drunk by then, because I could have been drunk at 7.38 o'clock, but by the time the Jeremy McGrath Steel Roots 3 movie hit about midnight, 1230.

4:47 Drew Oh my God. Yeah, I was hallucinating.

4:50 Adam As probably was at that point. All right, so this is obviously the breakout hit of the season. I mean, hands down, right? You know what? No competition here. Did you? I'm going to ask if you ever thought it would be this big.

5:07 I had no idea. I had no idea what I was getting into.

5:10 Guest I didn't either. I don't know about Alison, but I know when I signed up for the show and they told me about it, I had no idea where we were going to go or anything until like two or three days before. I never even heard of Belize. I was like, oh wow. I looked it up and I did some research.

5:28 Adam Since the show obviously had never hit the air, you just assume it would be one of the many that didn't go over that well in the new lineup, right? Yeah. When you were doing the show, was there any sense that, hey, we may be on to something?

5:40 Guest I thought it was going to be huge because when I saw the crew and the amount, I think they had like two...

5:45 150 or crew people. I was in Philadelphia, so I didn't know what... This is a huge thing at all.

5:51 Guest Well, we didn't know until we were there and we saw how much work they were putting into it and we saw all the people and just the time and energy. I mean, it was crazy. I mean, all the cameras and...

6:02 Adam I heard the whole thing was shot in 11 days. Is that true?

6:07 Guest Yeah, almost.

6:08 Drew Wow, that's incredible.

6:10 Adam That is amazing. Oh, talk about Bang for Your Buck.

6:13 Guest Yeah, they filmed us.

6:17 Adam Talk about Pop for Your Buck. I don't know. I'm sorry, Dano.

6:21 Guest They filmed like probably 100 hours of footage, they said, every day and then they got to do it to six episodes. It's like basically 45 minutes, you count out the commercials and stuff or whatever and those dang bonfire scenes taken away from all of our fun stuff we were doing.

6:37 Adam I'll tell you, this show is very, very compelling, I guess, to most of the nation and I think would be considered a guilty pleasure for a lot of people. I mean, a lot of people watch, they may not be proud of themselves, but they're watching. I mean, I guess we live in a nation of voyeurs and everyone is tuning in to find out what is going on. Drew, voyeur is a French word?

7:03 Drew Yes.

7:04 Adam What's that mean?

7:05 Drew People that watch.

7:06 Adam Thank you.

7:06 Drew Thank you. All right.

7:07 Adam Let's take some calls. Now, you guys weren't on last night.

7:11 Right. The Barbara chick was on.

7:14 Guest Whoever is representing.

7:15 Adam Let me tell you, she's a flash in the pan, this Streisand.

7:18 I know.

7:18 Adam Hearing gone. Enjoy your 15 minutes, honey. It's going to be over soon, right, Drew?

7:24 Right.

7:24 Drew All right.

7:24 Adam And what the hell were you doing with Michael Jackson?

7:27 Drew It was a, I was speaking in Carnegie Hall.

7:29 Really?

7:30 Adam Did you sing?

7:31 Drew No, but Mark Walberg did. Really? He goes, you'll have to excuse me, allow me. And he sang a tap dance.

7:38 Adam Wow. He'd always dreamt of it.

7:40 Drew Always did it, yeah. He and his wife had a joke that one day he'd sing and dance in Carnegie Hall.

7:44 Adam And you met Michael Jackson.

7:47 Drew Met him.

7:48 Adam Is he a scary person as he comes across on television? Yeah. Yes. And how about, did you shake his hand?

7:54 Drew Yeah.

7:54 Adam We loved to touch him.

7:55 Drew I got hugged by him.

7:56 Adam Oh, you got hugged? Whoa. Was it like hugging a coat rack? What did it feel like?

8:00 Drew Like ice sculpture.

8:02 Adam Oh, maybe. That's a person, a coat rack.

8:06 Drew No, I actually, he's trying to do something worthwhile. I mean, yeah, he's trying to make something out of his fame. God bless him for that. But the depth of his plastic surgery, his isolation, he's just palpable.

8:20 Adam Well, wow. He could be the next Black Howard Hughes. Thank you. All right. Let's talk to, you know what that name is, Drew?

8:29 Drew Lado.

8:31 Adam Lado?

8:32 Drew Lado?

8:32 Yeah.

8:33 Adam What's your name?

8:34 Lado.

8:34 Drew Lado.

8:35 Adam Lado, you're 14.

8:37 Caller Yeah.

8:38 Drew What's up, Lado?

8:39 What's up?

8:39 Caller Hey. Hey.

8:41 Adam All right. See you, Lado.

8:43 Drew Oh, he's just swooping around.

8:44 Adam Yeah. We didn't hit the jackpot with that Lado. Nicole?

8:49 Drew Yeah.

8:49 Adam Jackass. You're 19. What's up?

8:52 Caller I have a problem with dating really mean guys.

8:58 Drew Now, wait a minute. Do you listen to the show?

8:59 Caller Yes, I do.

9:00 Drew So you know the line of questioning we're going to go down, right?

9:02 Caller Right. Yeah, I know.

9:04 Drew Why don't you fill us in?

9:05 Caller Okay. First of all, I'm 19 years old. I have a two and a half year old boy. I've already been married for three years.

9:13 Drew Yeah. But you know the kind of questions I'm talking about.

9:15 Caller Okay. Yeah. I was molested for five years. All right. The last time it happened, I was raped. I went through counseling for a year and like that part doesn't bother me at all anymore.

9:28 Drew Stop for a second. Counseling for the rape?

9:30 Caller Yes. For everything.

9:33 Drew I mean, listen, Nicole, years of counseling might help you with everything. A year might help you with the trauma of the rape, but a year of work is not going to really do much for all of it.

9:44 Adam Well, they have like a cliff notes for counseling.

9:46 Drew No, no cliff notes.

9:47 Adam No. All right. No crash course.

9:49 Drew Will you put any medication or anything?

9:51 Caller No.

9:52 Drew So this is a long-term proposition.

9:54 Adam Who molested you?

9:55 Caller See, it happened. I'm 19. The last time it happened, I was 12.

9:59 Adam Who did it?

9:59 Caller It was my stepdad.

10:01 Adam Fantastic.

10:02 Yeah.

10:03 Caller My mom's been married four times.

10:05 All right.

10:05 Adam She's a lovely, lovely lady, I'm sure.

10:08 Drew Bringing wolves into the chicken coop.

10:10 Adam Nice. All right. So what was your point about the last time you were molested, you were 12?

10:16 Caller Yeah. Well, that's when I was raped.

10:17 Drew But why do you bring that up? Why do you keep saying the last time you were molested?

10:20 Caller I can talk about it openly. It doesn't bother me anymore. That like, you know, that actually happened to me. I don't guilt myself about it. Like, oh, why me? And why this?

10:29 Drew Good. That's good. But it absolutely has a profound effect on your development and on how you put together emotionally. And you're seeing that sort of being played out in your interpersonal choices.

10:41 Adam You're doing that math, Nicole? Because your head's spinning around like, like, you know, exorcist.

10:48 Drew That the reason you're picking bad guys is you still have some leftover. Let's just call it chaos about how you perceive yourself in the context of a relationship with another person.

10:58 Caller You see, I've only been in like three really serious relationships.

11:01 Drew But you got pregnant at 16.

11:02 Caller Right.

11:03 Drew The relationship with bad guys by your own choice, and you're picking bad guys. Just think of it in terms of you trying to solve those problems of childhood. You're picking those same guys that victimized you in the first place and trying to make that okay. But victimizers don't change.

11:18 Caller Well, see, I'm seeing this guy now, and he and so far we've been dating for about three months. And so far, he's just like everything I want. And that's why I'm scared, because I don't want to move any further into the relationship. But he just like he's never once been mean to me or anything. He's just like this totally cool guy.

11:39 Drew Wouldn't you agree, Adam, if she doesn't feel like going into the relationship, she's not attracted?

11:44 Adam Yeah, he probably is a good guy.

11:47 Caller I'm sorry?

11:48 Adam Well, listen, you have a very unfortunate Catch-22 to deal with here. And I don't want to damn you, but here goes. If you're super attracted to the guy and you want to move forward with him, he's probably an a-hole who's going to molest your child. If you're not attracted to the guy, if you're not attracted to him, he's probably a nice guy who you're not ready to tolerate at this point in life.

12:12 Drew You can't tolerate that intimacy with somebody that really is truly available to you.

12:17 Adam Okay.

12:17 Drew Okay?

12:18 Adam So...

12:18 Drew So just listen to what's going on.

12:20 Adam So what's she going to do?

12:21 Drew If she's resistant to going on, go on.

12:25 Adam Okay.

12:25 Drew If she's totally into this guy, your reasons to hold back are justified. In either case, get some more therapy.

12:32 Adam Well, listen, everyone, you just treat dating like a diet. Here's the way you do it. The diet, the food that tastes good, don't eat it. The food that tastes like crap, double down on that. That's how you know it's good for you. It's good for you because it is bad. Right? In this, men are good for women like this, who they cannot tolerate. You start dating tofu, not brisket. Brisket will kick your ass.

12:57 Drew Not chocolate chip cookies.

12:58 Adam That's right. Chocolate chip cookies, good for a goose and on that kid. Right? Right that down, Drew.

13:05 Drew Chocolate chip cookies are good for a goose and on kids. Got it.

13:08 Adam Gina?

13:10 Caller Dr. Drew?

13:10 Drew Yeah, Gina.

13:11 Caller Adam, hi.

13:12 Adam Hi, say hi to Alison and Dano by the way from Temptation Island.

13:15 Caller Hi Alison and Dano, but I don't have a television, so I don't watch TV.

13:19 Guest Aw, what's up with that? Go over to a friend's house.

13:21 Adam Come on.

13:21 Caller It's good dating advice.

13:22 Caller No, I'm having a friend record Temptation Island and Survivor for me. But no, I don't have a TV just because I'm not into it. I just read. Here's my question. For New Year's Eve, I went out to this club and I think that I was drugged. I'm sure I was drugged. I only had two drinks and then I got hot. I went outside and then I fainted, convulsed on the floor outside the club. Oh boy. And a friend of mine had just met this guy. He picked me up. He kept me standing. The paramedics came. They looked at my eyes. They thought you have had either ecstasy or LSD.

14:00 Drew Wait a minute. How were you standing if you were convulsing?

14:02 Caller No, I convulsed on the floor. After I stopped doing that, they picked me up and were holding me upright.

14:11 Drew I see.

14:12 Caller And the paramedics happened to be next door to the club. And they came over and they looked in my eyes and asked what my name was. And I was like hearing them, but I couldn't see and I couldn't talk.

14:23 Drew How long did that last for?

14:25 Caller About 30 to 40 minutes.

14:26 Drew Then what? It was completely over after that?

14:29 Caller And then I snapped out of it. Then someone got me a drink of water and I took a cab home. And I told the cabby exactly where I lived.

14:36 Drew Alison, where are you training now? Where are you training?

14:38 Caller Oh, I'm in Philadelphia.

14:40 Drew So club drugs?

14:42 Caller Yeah, we don't see a lot at the hospital I'm at and not in the ER a whole lot, but that would be a weird drug. That was like a half an hour.

14:48 Drew Yeah, it doesn't make sense.

14:49 Caller I don't know what that would be.

14:50 Drew Did you have a seizure workup, Gina? Because maybe you just had a seizure. Maybe it's called post-dictal.

14:55 Adam Maybe you were dehydrated too at a couple of drinks.

14:58 Caller I wet my pants. Does that mean?

15:00 Drew It means you had a seizure, but you should have gone to the hospital. This may have nothing to do with what you're ingesting. You may have just had a seizure.

15:07 Caller But I'm completely healthy.

15:08 Drew Yeah, that's the way seizures are, Gina. You need a seizure workup. I would not blame. Even GHB, which can cause seizures, will have you out for hours.

15:16 Caller Really? I don't understand it. I've never heard anything like it.

15:20 Drew Gina, you need to see a doctor tomorrow.

15:23 Adam Gina, just keep ignoring the doctor's advice.

15:27 Caller No, I won't.

15:27 Adam Keep playing the drug card and then go on until you have a seizure when you're driving somewhere.

15:32 Drew Exactly.

15:33 Adam You'll go off an overpass.

15:34 Caller No, I love you, Dr. Drew. I will take your advice. I won't have health insurance, but I will take your advice.

15:40 Drew I will go to a county facility. I don't think this has anything to do with what you ingested. At least that's going to be after everything else has been rolled out. Then we think about what you might have ingested, okay?

15:49 Caller Okay, and also does it help that when I got home I was shivering?

15:54 Drew It's all part of having a seizure. Did your thermometer anything?

15:57 Caller And then my temperature was really low because I took it, it was like 95, 96. And the thermometer was not broken.

16:03 Adam All right.

16:03 Guest Go to the doctor.

16:05 Adam It's like, yes, the guy finally tracked it enough to drug you and try to get in your pants. You satisfied? People are like so hell-bent on being drugged. We've had a million of these calls. I had these people call the show. It's like, yes, I'm an Asian dwarf. I drank a pony keg on an empty stomach. I think someone slipped something into the beer. It's like, you drank a pony keg? Yeah. Then I did acrobatics. Yeah. And I felt lightheaded. I think I was drugged.

16:31 Caller My friend told me actually last week when we watched the Temptation Island and afterwards we went out to a party and she's newly married and she was hitting on guys. But she told me the next day she thought she was drugged. Really?

16:44 Adam To sort of explain her behavior.

16:46 Caller I think I was. I'm like, no, you just drank a lot.

16:49 Adam Yeah. And by the way, most women, especially, if you give them two, three high balls, they're going. Juice them up and go, as my buddy the Wees would say.

17:00 Drew Newly married and juiced up and going is a little disturbing.

17:02 Adam Yeah. Yeah. She's a fine example for you. Alison, by the way, is first off, we have a lot of beautiful women coming in. No, we don't have that many beautiful women. Once in a while, a beautiful woman comes into the studio. You always read on the resume some BS about she's a Stanford grad. She went to Harvard. She's pre-med, this or that. As soon as you talked to her for 10 seconds, you realize she went to junior college.

17:30 Drew She applied to Harvard.

17:31 Adam And applied to Harvard. And the guy wiped his ass with the application and sent it back in a manila envelope. But you are actually a doctor, which is...

17:41 Caller I graduated, yeah.

17:42 Adam Yeah. And you're like a porn doctor.

17:46 Guest It's a compliment. I'm getting a little checked up in this one over here.

17:48 Caller Yeah. See, men only come in once they're like really deathly ill and so they're kind of really wrapped up in that. And I don't work in a bikini, so...

17:56 Adam Oh, no.

17:57 Caller No, I wear the long white coat.

17:59 Adam But during the summer, surely.

18:01 Caller Oh, well, if it's hot.

18:02 Adam Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, Philadelphia is very muggy. That part of it I'm cough. Marcus?

18:09 Yeah?

18:09 Adam You're 19. What's up?

18:11 Caller I have a problem.

18:13 When I masturbate, I have like an orgasm, but I don't come.

18:18 Caller What does that mean?

18:19 Drew Are you on your medication?

18:21 Adam Nothing exits your penis?

18:22 Drew Nothing comes out of his penis.

18:23 Yeah.

18:24 Drew Are you on your medication?

18:25 No.

18:26 Drew You're not? Had you been?

18:28 No.

18:29 Drew Do you do drugs?

18:31 Not really.

18:31 Drew What drugs are you doing?

18:33 I masturbate probably once in a while.

18:35 Drew Every day?

18:36 Adam So maybe he's having one of those retrograde ejaculations.

18:40 Drew It sounds like he is. Do you masturbate a lot? Yeah. Like how often?

18:45 About two or three times a day.

18:46 Drew That's not a lot.

18:47 Caller Is that a lot for a guy?

18:48 Adam No. No. Hell no. What do you call it a lot? Why are we passing judgment on it?

18:56 Drew It's in the higher ranges, but not to the point that it would deplete his semen production completely.

19:03 Adam You'd be in the middle of the pack of friends I have with that two or three a day.

19:07 Drew Wouldn't you agree to get that evaluated? I mean, if he has retrograde calculation for no meds.

19:13 Adam Does that make you gay if you come in yourself?

19:15 Drew No, it doesn't matter.

19:16 Adam You're sure?

19:16 Drew No.

19:17 Adam I think it does.

19:17 Drew No, I don't think so.

19:18 Adam But in God's eyes. Maybe not in terms of the medical literature, but as far as the whole idea.

19:23 Drew In you, in the...

19:25 Adam I'm a mouthpiece for God, as you know, and I say gay. That means gay. It's no different than someone putting it in you. You see what I'm saying?

19:33 Drew It's seeming going in to me.

19:34 Adam Even worse, you're doing it to yourself. Think about it.

19:38 Guest Try holding it off. Go longer.

19:40 Adam Do the math. Yeah, what do you think would happen if he just...

19:43 Guest Waited three days?

19:44 Adam By the way...

19:44 Drew That's what I think you ought to try.

19:46 Adam If nothing's coming out, why two, three times a day?

19:49 Guest He's had a wild variance.

19:50 Drew He's having the feeling.

19:52 Adam Right.

19:53 Guest You're all doing it.

19:54 Adam I don't know if I would fix that. It's like a smokeless cigarette or something. It's nice.

20:00 Caller You can't get him pregnant that way. Well, he's not getting many...

20:04 Adam He could jack off in the car. He could jack off in all those inappropriate places where it's messy.

20:11 Caller Under his desk at work.

20:12 Adam God knows. I go through four or five hundred dollars worth of paper towels each month. Think of how much this guy's saving. That's not a bad angle.

20:20 Caller Adam?

20:22 Adam Call her Adam. Yes, you're twenty-six. What's up?

20:25 Caller Oh, um... Well, I have... I have this thing. I'm pretty good looking. And I go up to women, you know, and I'll ask them for their number. They'll be all receptive and everything. And then I just won't call them. I'll just get lazy and just, you know, won't call them. Then a couple weeks later I'll think about it and then by that time I figure it's too late so I don't even try.

20:48 Guest Are you gay?

20:50 Caller Um, no.

20:51 Drew What's your question?

20:51 Adam It's a great strategy.

20:52 Drew Yeah, what is your question?

20:54 Adam Yeah.

20:54 Caller Well, that's my question is, I mean, why, you know, what would make a person do something like that? I mean, I don't understand why I'm doing this.

21:04 Caller These are hot women?

21:05 Caller I'm sorry?

21:06 Caller These women are attractive?

21:07 Caller Well, yeah, they're pretty attractive, yeah.

21:10 Adam They're not.

21:12 Guest Good looking.

21:14 Adam A really hot chick gave Adam the number and he didn't call. In two weeks, they killed themselves. Hey, hey, hey. Now listen to me.

21:20 Caller They have good personalities.

21:22 Adam Listen, you need to call. That's what you need to do. Are you smoking a lot of weed?

21:27 Caller Yeah.

21:28 Drew That's what does this, Adam.

21:29 Adam It's taking some of the wind out of yourself.

21:31 Drew You smoke weed. Weed blocks the ability to go from a thought and intention to an action. It blocks that. We smoke a lot of it, which I suspect you do.

21:42 Caller No. Not a lot.

21:43 Drew Well, you smoke every day?

21:45 Caller No.

21:46 Drew Every other day?

21:47 Caller Probably once or maybe once or twice a month.

21:50 Drew No, that's not it. Are you drinking a lot?

21:52 Caller A couple of times a week.

21:55 Adam What are you scared of? Intimacy? You don't want to get close to someone and have it break off?

22:00 Guest Small penis syndrome.

22:02 Drew Are you depressed? Something is blocking your motor vision.

22:07 Caller I have bouts of it, I guess.

22:08 Drew But you don't feel as though you're constantly depressed?

22:11 Caller No, no, no. I'm pretty upbeat most of the time. All right.

22:14 Adam Well, then good. We've checked everything off the list. Just call next time.

22:18 Caller All right? All right.

22:19 Adam Well, thank you. Listen everybody, there's a lot of problems that we talk about here every night that need attention. They need counseling, they need therapy, they need medical attention, they need medication. And then there's others where the solution is just doing it.

22:36 Drew You know what I mean?

22:37 Adam It's like saying, I want to exercise, I never do, I'm getting overweight, I don't feel very good, I don't feel strong, I don't feel virile.

22:44 Drew I have a treadmill gym downstairs.

22:46 Adam Right. Okay, get on the goddamn thing. What do you want me to do? Go over there and strap you to it. Hey, something I wanted to ask Alison and Dano, but especially Alison, because now you guys aren't dating or anything like that, right? No? Yes?

23:02 Guest Well, since I...

23:03 Adam Oh, wow.

23:04 Caller No. I'm in Philadelphia. He's in LA. He would have to have an incredibly...

23:10 Adam Long penis?

23:12 Caller No, I'm not here.

23:13 Adam Dano's penis could probably get to Iowa, but I don't know if it could get all the way to the East Coast. Yeah, and then some would like to back over it in a pickup truck and have the story back. So, now, you were single when you were on the island, obviously. Were you really single?

23:31 Caller I was really single.

23:32 Adam You were really single.

23:33 Caller Really single.

23:33 Adam And now, are you dating? I date. You date, but you don't have a steady guy? Is there one guy who you're seeing exclusively? No. I don't want to ask you out, so now tell me the truth. I mean, I'm not getting at that, but what I'm saying is, is do you have to watch Temptation Island with the guy who's interested in you now?

23:53 Guest Yeah, you wanted to talk to me.

23:55 Caller That's the same question.

23:56 Adam Seeing you slip away to the sex hut and freak out on you.

24:00 Caller I watch with someone. I watch with a whole group of friends, but...

24:03 Adam You know what I'm saying? But isn't it weird for the guy who you're kind of dating, who likes you, to see you?

24:09 Caller You're going, Kaia's hot.

24:11 Caller Yeah.

24:12 Adam Oh, that date's great.

24:13 Guest I like his shorts and his little tank tops.

24:15 Caller Yeah, his shorts were short.

24:16 Adam That patchouli oil's great. It rubs them on the shoulders. You know what I'm saying?

24:20 Caller Yeah, that's what it is.

24:21 Caller Is that a little freak, isn't it, the guy?

24:22 Caller Yeah, yeah.

24:23 Adam Dano, you have a woman in your life?

24:26 Guest No.

24:26 Caller He's gay.

24:27 Guest I'm just hanging out, dating. You're married? Same thing.

24:31 Adam Married to your motorcycle?

24:32 Guest Yeah, pretty much. Right now, I got a lot of time, so.

24:35 Adam Nailing some pit girls every once in a while.

24:38 Guest I'm not into the pro-host, to tell you the truth.

24:40 Adam I understand.

24:41 Guest Really?

24:42 Adam I know. When I was on the circuit, we were, you know, my team warned me to stay away from those girls, too. You know, when I was riding Bull Taco.

24:49 Guest Hey, my dad rode those.

24:51 Caller Oh, yeah.

24:51 Adam I remember him from the tour. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll talk a little more about the Temptation Island. Take more calls after this.

25:00 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

25:24 Adam Dr. Drew over there. Mark Wahlberg from Temptation Island, the host of Temptation Island, who we're glad to see bounce back and land on his feet after doing a warm up for Win Ben Stein's money. It's the last place I saw him, so I'm glad he's back with a hit under his belt. It's gonna be in next week, and I'm excited to see what he's gonna do next week.

25:48 Drew I'm getting ants attention. All righty. Everything distracts you.

25:52 Adam Well, I thought you're pointing at the list of names I was reading off there. Bob Guccione Jr. is gonna be up here later. Shaggy was Drew's favorite, right?

26:01 Drew Absolutely.

26:02 Adam And Henry Rollins, who's a friend of the show. We'll be up here later on. Alison and Dan are both here from Temptation Island. Wednesday night's 9 o'clock on Fox, like I need to tell you. Alison's a 28-year-old physician, former Playboy model. Now, what does that mean?

26:22 Caller I don't know how they came up with that, like my little descriptor. But it was one picture in Playboy.

26:27 Adam What was it? Chicks with a Brain?

26:29 Caller It was Women of the Ivy League issue when I was in medical school.

26:32 Adam Oh, really?

26:33 Caller Yeah.

26:34 Adam What school did you go to?

26:35 Caller University of Pennsylvania.

26:36 Adam I don't know that one. Drew, is that Ivy League?

26:39 Drew You spoke there.

26:39 Adam Oh, yeah. Briefly.

26:41 Drew Never?

26:41 Adam I only spoke there for a couple of hours.

26:43 Caller It wasn't such a fun place. I went to Penn State for college. That was a lot more fun.

26:48 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. The what I used to call the Nifty Lions when I was a young person because Nipny doesn't make any sense at all. Or Nittany when you're when you're nine years old. So you just tweak it to be the Nifty Lions, which is not a bad name for a team. Dano is also here. He's a 25 year old professional motocross rider. He rides for Yamaha.

27:11 Guest Yeah, Yamaha helps me out with bikes, any shoes, DBA clothes, Quicksilver, bubble machine. There's a bunch of them. They all help me out. Dragon Eyewear.

27:23 Adam What's a bubble machine?

27:25 Guest It's a friend of mine that helps me out, pays for a lot of the expenses.

27:29 Adam Yeah, I'm hip to the sponsor.

27:30 Guest He owns that angle.

27:32 Adam What is a bubble machine?

27:33 Guest It's a car wash. He owns like five of them.

27:37 Adam So the coin up kind of?

27:39 Guest Yeah, just kind of go up and...

27:42 Adam You know what I always thought would be...

27:44 Guest Everybody gets a kick out of that one...

27:45 Adam .a bad crib would be the apartment above the coin up car wash. You ever see that little 200 square foot little job? It always seems to be above the car wash.

27:57 Drew I always thought it was just where they manage the gas station.

28:01 Adam I've seen some that are actually like little single apartments. Yeah, chicks got to be impressed when you bring her back to the coin up. Yeah, how about coming up to my little love nest up here, my dear? You got 50 cents for the vacuum? I can really show you a good time. All right, we will hop on the phones and speak to Anne, who's 25.

28:22 Caller Hi.

28:22 Adam What's up?

28:23 Caller Well, I got married a few months ago and my husband, we waited to have sex until we were married. And he's got a penis that curves downward considerably. And it makes intercourse very painful and sometimes it's difficult for him to reach climax.

28:41 Drew Because it's so uncomfortable for you?

28:44 Caller I don't, you know, he has difficulty sometimes reaching climax when he would masturbate and it is uncomfortable for me. He has been to a urologist, I have been to my OBGYN.

28:56 Drew What does the urologist tell him?

28:59 Caller They told him basically he needs surgery in order to make it comfortable for me. But they also said that there are many risk factors involved in the surgery.

29:08 Drew It also shortens the penis.

29:10 Caller It does?

29:11 Adam Oh, not that much.

29:12 Drew And did they tell him to take vitamin E?

29:15 Caller No, but we read that online.

29:16 Drew Yeah, take about 800 units of vitamin E a day. That can help if this is really Peyroni's type thing.

29:21 Caller Yeah, this isn't something that's recent. It's something he's...

29:24 Drew I know.

29:24 Adam Right. Now, let me ask you a question. Something I've always wanted to know. When he went to the urologist, did he have to pop a boner, as we say in the medical physician, medical world?

29:35 Caller He told him, he told the doctor, I cannot get an erection in your office.

29:40 Adam Did the doctor want to get him?

29:42 Caller No, I don't believe it. The doctor asked me to leave during the examination part. He was out the door in a few minutes, my husband was, and said, we have to make a delivery tomorrow. I thought they meant a specimen.

29:57 Caller I asked him where his cup was.

29:59 Caller He said, no, we need to get the digital camera out.

30:03 Adam Nice. Sure, that will show up on the internet in a couple weeks.

30:07 Caller That's what I was worried about.

30:08 Drew It's not Dr. Marcelli's giving it to you.

30:10 Adam Punch up oddities of nature. Let's see if we can find her husband's Johnson.

30:15 Caller Oh, no, no.

30:16 Adam That's how it worked. He gets the boner, you take the picture, and then you take it in.

30:21 Caller Yes, and we dropped it off.

30:23 Adam Does he sign it or just hand it to her?

30:25 Caller I told him to put her name on the top.

30:28 Adam Yeah, sure, with love, best regards, that kind of stuff. She loved the great work.

30:34 Caller So he would call, but he didn't do that.

30:35 Adam You're number one.

30:36 Drew So, Anne, it seems like the urologist was not so concerned with his function, and yours.

30:41 Caller Well, right, but we just don't understand. Maybe one out of every five times he's capable of reaching climax, but it, I mean, it's hard.

30:52 Adam Drew, I thought bending up would be good for the ladies, but you said the vagina goes that way anyway.

30:59 Drew Well, it kind of goes down that direction. I'm getting up.

31:02 Caller He bends down.

31:03 Drew Bending up can stimulate more because that's where all the tissue.

31:05 Caller He bends down a lot.

31:06 Adam That's my move.

31:07 Drew But I think he's bending. He's like, he's like.

31:09 Adam He bends down a lot. Is it ever poked out of your ass, Anne?

31:12 Caller No.

31:12 Adam Seriously.

31:14 Drew Seriously.

31:14 Adam No, be honest. Come on.

31:16 Caller No, it's never been that.

31:18 Guest Is it like a banana, Anne?

31:20 Adam How much like a banana is it?

31:25 Caller It doesn't start curving right at the base. It curves. Maybe after about an inch, it starts to curve downwards.

31:32 Drew Yeah.

31:33 Adam So it's not like the St. Louis Arch.

31:36 Caller No.

31:38 Caller It curves considerably.

31:42 Drew It's not comfortable for me. Is this a complication of his circumcision, do they think?

31:47 Caller He's not circumcised.

31:48 Caller Okay.

31:49 Drew Wow.

31:50 Adam That's one funky looking dork there. I'd like to see that picture. All right.

31:56 Caller It's a nice picture.

31:57 Adam Yeah.

31:59 Caller Yes.

31:59 Adam Well, he's got to take his vitamin E.

32:01 Drew It sounds like you had to follow through and take recommendations.

32:06 Caller They were talking about infertility after that and about becoming impotent.

32:12 Drew After the surgery.

32:12 Caller Yeah.

32:13 Drew So they want to recommend.

32:14 Caller Those are risk factors they're talking about. I have not heard anything about the shortening.

32:18 Drew But they aren't asking, they aren't suggesting, urging you to do the surgery. They're just like, this is a solution.

32:24 Caller He's just even just looked at a picture and my doctor suggested different positions, but we tried it and, you know, he hits my bladder or he's hitting things.

32:32 Adam And it's always been a dream of mine to hit something.

32:37 Drew It's my penis. Even the vagina.

32:38 Adam Yeah, I miss the vagina sometimes. I did hit the refrigerator door once when I, you know, I got hungry right after a session with myself, but that's different. Hey, Ann.

32:49 Drew Yeah.

32:49 Adam No, no quick fix for this one.

32:52 Drew We have no, you know, we don't want it. Yeah, but I accept encourage her to keep working on this.

32:57 Adam Take the vitamin E.

32:58 Drew Try me and try it.

32:59 Adam Find the position, free some sperm.

33:02 Drew And I'll tell you in terms.

33:03 Caller What about him reaching climax? It's like.

33:05 Drew Well, if it's truly peronies, oftentimes there is discomfort and difficulty with climax. However, it just sounds like both of you are so uptight and so anxious about this. My God. How is anybody going to function normally when you're this freaked out?

33:17 Adam Why is the climax painful as opposed to urination? Is there an answer to this question? Do you know what I'm saying? Is it the viscosity of what goes through the urethra?

33:28 Drew No, it's the function. In other words, with, I'm not sure I can answer it accurately, it's erectile function combined with a spinal reflex. Urination is a totally different thing.

33:38 Adam But what I'm saying is, why is it painful simply because the penis is bent? Or is that the genesis of the pain with the peronies? Do you know what I'm saying?

33:49 Drew Yeah, I don't know.

33:50 Adam How else?

33:52 Caller I don't understand. He actually has pain or she's in pain and he just can't have it.

33:55 Adam No, they both have pain. Even the neighbors ask her.

33:58 Drew She was a little unclear about it, but yeah.

34:00 Adam No, no. He has a painful...

34:02 Drew And it's a difficulty even by himself having an ejaculation.

34:05 Caller Right.

34:07 Adam Now, why is it painful to him? Do you know what I'm saying?

34:11 Caller And it's not like, well, the cordies when it just bends, but there's no problem, right?

34:15 Adam All right. Drew, let's get an answer on that one, would you buddy? Ask your new best friend Michael Jackson what he thinks about the peronies. Doesn't he have a bent penis or has he got a mark on it? Something about his penis has been described. Coitin has the bent penis. Michael has the mole on his penis.

34:31 Drew Nice. Thank you for making out of all that, Adam. Trisha, stay abreast of your pop culture.

34:36 Caller You're 25.

34:37 Caller Yes. My question is, okay, I have this guy that just proposed me, and just last couple of days ago, I found him masturbating with my mattresses. He had this like plastic bag full of lotion, and he was like going out, like going at it. That's a Corolla.

35:00 Adam It works.

35:01 Guest I've tried it before.

35:02 Drew Corolla maneuver, Dano maneuver.

35:04 Adam Yeah. Well, they do call that the Dano maneuver. Like a motofrost maneuver.

35:10 Caller What was he masturbating with again?

35:11 Caller You take, go ahead, Dano.

35:15 Guest I've tried it before. You take two mattresses.

35:17 Well, mattress and box spring.

35:18 Guest You have an accident and box spring, and then you get a sandwich bag, and then you just...

35:23 Caller No way. You really did that? You probably did.

35:26 Drew There is no limit to the experimentation that guys do when it comes to masturbation.

35:29 Adam You put a baloney sandwich in it.

35:31 Caller Are these firm mattresses or...?

35:33 Guest No, just like, I think this girl is more embarrassing than I am.

35:36 A waterbed? No, it's just like the box spring and then the mattress.

35:39 Drew Dano's admitting it.

35:41 Caller You can totally judge it.

35:42 Guest Yeah, tons of guys do this thing. You can totally judge it. You can push down on the mattress if you want it harder, you know?

35:48 Adam Yeah, what I'll do is I'll set a cinder block on top, add more pressure. It's like I'm with a young chick, you know what I mean? Really a nice sensation there.

35:58 Guest And you're not attracted by that or anything?

36:00 It's not a turn on, Trisha?

36:02 Caller It kind of scares me a little bit.

36:05 Drew Why wasn't he more careful with protecting you from this vision?

36:10 Adam Yeah, how did you catch him?

36:11 Caller Well, I came home from work a little bit early and it's just a little surprise. I didn't expect to see that.

36:18 Drew Well, know that guys do this a lot. It's normal.

36:21 Adam It's called the Dano.

36:22 Caller Why don't you feel the need to do that whenever I'm going to be home?

36:26 Guest Well, you're not pleasing him.

36:28 Drew No, no, no, it's not that.

36:29 Adam No, it's because she smells down there.

36:32 Drew No, it's because that's what guys do. Even if you're having sex regularly, guys still masturbate.

36:38 Caller You can't be offended by that.

36:40 Adam Hey, Trisha, if you're entering your marriage thinking that he masturbates as a substitute to being with you or because you're not satisfying him, it's going to be a long uncomfortable marriage.

36:51 Caller Okay.

36:51 You understand?

36:52 Adam And if does he have any porno around the house?

36:56 Caller No.

36:57 Adam Not that you know of, right?

36:58 Drew Of course he does.

36:59 Caller No, not that I know of.

36:59 Adam Believe me, this guy's raping the mattress. He's got a stash of porn somewhere too. It's the same guy. It's not like, well, sure, I rape a mattress now and again, but let's not go crazy with the porno. How dare you? How dare you? That's right. My delicate sensibilities. I don't agree with those pigs that read porno. Is there a mattress about I could rape? No.

37:23 Listen.

37:24 Caller What about other furniture?

37:25 Pillows.

37:27 Adam I've raped an ottoman. Bean bag chairs are good in the pinch. Camping is tough.

37:32 I had to rape an air mattress once.

37:36 Guest That was tough.

37:37 Caller What about folding furniture? That would be dangerous.

37:40 Adam That's tough.

37:40 Drew I think guys do the pillow thing early.

37:43 Guest Pillow.

37:44 Adam Yes, I've raped pillows. I've raped almost all furniture.

37:49 Drew This is how driven men are by their biology.

37:51 Caller I didn't ever know about furniture sex.

37:53 Adam No.

37:54 Drew It's not sex. It's just a release from it.

37:57 Caller It's what everyone else calls it.

38:00 Adam Yes, I actually raped the drain spout on a cooler once. That was a tight fit.

38:04 Drew Vacuum cleaner?

38:05 Adam I raped the vacuum cleaner. Then when it came up the dust buster.

38:11 Guest I'm thinking of what else?

38:13 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa.

38:15 Caller In an ER once, I did see a guy with it. It was degloved.

38:18 Drew Tell them what that means.

38:19 Caller The skin was like... It was like the same hanging on the end of his penis. And we're like, what in the heck? How is this hanging on the end here? What is this? And it was like the skin. It was like pulled off like a glove.

38:29 Oh, his penis. Yeah.

38:31 Caller What was his excuse? He said that he was mugged in a park. It was like a 55-year-old guy. Mugged in a park and the girl grabbed him there.

38:41 Oh, my God.

38:41 Caller And we're like, no.

38:43 Caller Right, right, right.

38:44 Adam Pops.

38:45 Caller Probably not.

38:46 Adam Sure, Mr. Hoover.

38:47 Caller All right.

38:48 Drew That's like that's back to Mr. Sudsy or whatever your drive-through.

38:53 Adam Yeah, he did that. The drive-through car wash vacuum. You know, that's got a very high volume. You familiar with the vacuum that they have to point up? He put his Johnson in there. Yeah.

39:06 Guest We're going to take a break.

39:07 Adam When we come back, I'm going to tell you the time I raped the futon. That was a mistake. I like a little Asian rape every once in a while, but the futon with the wood frame, too much. Too much.

39:18 Caller We'll be back. Hello, this is your radio, the Vinyl. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

39:58 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's me, Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-O-V-1-9-1. Alison and Dan are both here tonight from Temptation Island. Wednesdays, nine o'clock on Fox, Alison, former Flame Aid model, girls of, wow, I'll tell you, that's like a- Women of it. Yeah, women of the island. That's like a dream come true right there. Imagine that. Went to Penn. Dano over here, a professional motorcycle rider.

40:26 Guest I just can't-

40:27 Caller He's been a playgirl.

40:28 Guest No, I just can't imagine. I swear, if I went to a doctor's office and Alison's in there and she's gonna give me a physical, just imagine that.

40:36 Caller Couldn't believe it.

40:38 Adam Now, definitely the best looking doctor, second only to Dr. Drew. Now, let's talk to LJ, who is 23.

40:47 Caller Hi.

40:47 Adam Hey.

40:48 Caller How's it going?

40:49 Caller Good.

40:51 Adam What's up?

40:51 Caller Oh, well, okay.

40:54 Caller I'm gay, or at least I figure I'm gay. I've been attracted to men since I was 14.

40:59 Drew Can I just say something? Sure. You get it? Don't believe me. Maybe we're just missing his, there's no gay vibe there.

41:07 Adam Where's your gay vibe?

41:08 Caller I have no idea. Nobody can pick it up.

41:10 Drew Yeah, we don't get it. That's interesting.

41:12 Caller But I really enjoy sleeping with men. Okay.

41:17 Drew Go ahead.

41:17 Caller So here's my problem is that I've gotten really confused and last month I found this woman extremely attractive and she's taking up all of my thoughts.

41:28 Drew Okay.

41:29 Caller To the point where I don't even think about anyone else anymore.

41:32 Drew Is there anything unique about her? Any qualities that make her different and attractive to you?

41:38 Adam Not really.

41:39 Caller I mean, it's...

41:40 Adam There he is.

41:41 Caller She's not just... What?

41:43 Drew Nothing. Go on, listen. No, go ahead.

41:45 Caller I mean, it's not like she's different from... Well, she is different. I mean, I'm attracted to her.

41:50 Drew Yeah, that makes her different. Describe to us what that difference is.

41:56 Caller I couldn't say. It's not that she's, you know... She's better looking than any other woman I've ever known or she's...

42:03 Drew Well, anything about her personality we should know?

42:06 Caller Um...

42:08 Caller She...

42:10 Caller No, no, she... I mean, she's a fiercely independent person. Uh-huh. That might...

42:16 Adam Reminds you of mom?

42:18 Caller Well, yeah.

42:19 Adam That was my gay crossover vibe there. Mom was... Your mom was very independent?

42:25 Caller Yeah.

42:26 Adam A little domineering at times?

42:28 Caller Well, yeah.

42:29 Adam Yeah, so that's what turned you gay. And now, you've met a new woman, reminds you of mom, so it's a little confusion here.

42:36 Caller Yeah.

42:36 Adam Do you know what I'm saying? That was my immediate vibe. Did you get that vibe?

42:41 Drew I kind of figured that's the direction he was going.

42:43 Adam Am I the most insulting person in the world?

42:45 Drew I wouldn't have stated it quite the way you did.

42:47 Adam But that's what happened. Let's face it. Well, listen, moms, you bust your kid's balls, he's going gay on you. That's the way it works. Oh, great. No, that's fine. You're having a good life. Except for this.

42:59 Drew Well, no, this isn't the problem. Maybe just a little confused. I mean, he was comfortable gay, and now he's sort of attracted to a woman.

43:04 Adam Right.

43:05 Drew You wonder, you just wonder how this relationship is going to go, if it's going to be a reenactment of those early, unpleasant experiences with your mom.

43:13 Caller Does she know you're gay? Or thought you were?

43:16 Caller Who?

43:16 Adam Your mom.

43:17 Caller No, the girl.

43:18 Adam The other one.

43:19 Caller Both.

43:20 Drew Both, no.

43:21 Adam Both, no.

43:21 Drew So this girl doesn't want to have a relationship with you, or doesn't think she would have one?

43:25 Caller Not that she's made any indications. She has basically said that that's out of the question.

43:30 Adam Oh, really?

43:31 Drew Because you're gay?

43:32 Caller Yeah.

43:33 Drew Because she's not attracted to you?

43:35 I'm not exactly sure on that.

43:37 Caller She's never told me one way or the other.

43:39 Adam She's not attracted, because most women look at this as a big 10-point score, convert the gay guy.

43:44 Drew Yeah. Is the fact that she's unavailable part of what attracts you?

43:50 Caller No, not at all.

43:51 Caller Okay.

43:53 Drew Well, it's interesting. This would be truly bisexual, wouldn't you say?

43:57 Adam I guess so. Hey, LJ? Yeah. It's a moot point, because she's not interested.

44:03 Caller Well, yeah. It still leaves me extremely confused.

44:05 Drew Well, maybe you're one of these people that is truly bisexual, that has certain kinds of women you're attracted to and men you're attracted to, and you've got to form an intimate relationship with somebody. You have to make your choice with the sex of that person, but you're not limited to one gender.

44:21 Adam Well, I know this sounds bizarre, but what about mom? Is she still...

44:25 Drew Oh, God.

44:26 Adam She's not still with dad?

44:28 No.

44:29 Caller You know, she is, but since I moved out a year and a half ago, they've moved into separate rooms, and she's openly hostile to my father.

44:40 Nice.

44:41 Adam Yeah. Mom's a real ball buster. All right. Listen, LJ?

44:45 Drew Just find a person that loves you and that you can have a stable relationship with.

44:49 Adam Right.

44:49 Drew A person. Right. Just a person.

44:52 Adam Listen, you dating mom is not going to work. I mean, you metaphorically dating mom is not going to work.

44:57 Drew Yeah, I think that's going to end up in the same old cycle.

44:59 Adam Yeah, he'll be right back with the dudes.

45:02 Caller The fellas, the boys, the lads.

45:03 Adam I mean, Mike?

45:04 Caller Yeah?

45:05 Adam You're 18. What's up?

45:07 Caller Well, I've been having problems my whole life. Most like as a little kid, I was diagnosed with ADHD. And I was fine with that when I was about 12 years old, I was constantly raped by my foster brother and then raped by his girlfriend actually with a knife to my throat. That night the foster brother ran away. We never heard from him again. Well, technically he wasn't a real foster brother. My mom just wanted to help her friend out because he lived in the inner city of Salt Lake City, which is a oxymoron, I know.

45:40 Adam Well, I know, but it's under 80% white there, so it's...

45:45 Drew He was the street of the tabernacle.

45:47 Caller He was Spanish and even though he was only a year older than me, he was a lot stronger. The only reason I'm going into this is because I believe that it led to the problems that I have now.

45:57 Drew Which are?

45:58 Caller Well, lately, over the past year, starting in 2000, I've been in a mental hospital twice in 2000.

46:05 Okay.

46:07 Adam How, by the way, does the girlfriend rank you?

46:09 Caller Well, actually, my foster brother, who I don't know if I should say his name or anything.

46:15 Drew No, no, no, no.

46:16 Caller Okay. He had a knife in my throat while she was on top of me.

46:20 Adam Yeah, but don't you have to have an erection for that?

46:22 Caller I don't know what it was. I guess it was just a stimulation, but I had one.

46:27 Drew Men can...

46:28 Adam Really? They do that?

46:29 Caller I mean, I was scared out of my mind.

46:31 Adam I'm a penis. I get scared it hides in my ass. It's like a turtle.

46:34 Drew The ninja penis?

46:35 Adam The ninja penis ducks in, takes cover.

46:38 Drew If it knew it was a do-or-die situation.

46:39 Adam Does it make you gay? It could make me gay, yeah.

46:42 Drew How dare you?

46:43 Adam How dare you come into my radio studio and accuse me of being gay?

46:47 Drew So Mike, what's your question? We got this sort of picture here. What's up?

46:49 Caller Okay. Recently, my last suicide attempt that sent me into the hospital again, when I just after I turned 18, I was diagnosed bipolar.

47:01 Drew Okay, Mike, get to the question. What is the question?

47:03 Caller I'm afraid that now I'm developing a multiple personality disorder.

47:07 Drew So you have sort of fugue states where you dissociate?

47:10 Caller Yeah.

47:11 Drew People that have been profoundly traumatized often have a dissociative component. That's not necessarily multiple, but at least a dissociative. It's a way of dealing with your brain at the age at which you were traumatized, had no other way of dealing with that overwhelming trauma other than sort of detaching from the experience and that dissociation becomes a part of your personality and your coping strategies as you get older.

47:32 Adam All right. So is he in the hospital now?

47:35 Drew He's been treated. Stay with it. Let them decide what the diagnostic situation is. You just follow the route.

47:40 Adam Please don't kill yourself. Just throw yourself at the mercy of your physicians and psychiatrists and get yourself better. We'll be back.

48:04 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBC Seattle.

48:28 Adam Here we go. Another Hole Hour, the fantabulous show known as Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191, Temptation Island. This is the show we're talking about tonight, Wednesday nights, 9 o'clock on Fox. Alison and Dan are both here. Both singles from the island, and both still on the island as far as you know. And the next episode is next Wednesday.

48:55 Guest Next Wednesday.

48:55 Adam It's days from now. And is it true they did 6 episodes, but they cut up something and made a 7th? Is that how it goes?

49:03 Caller Yeah, because next week the Grammys is on opposite us.

49:06 Guest So they don't want to end the show, you know, just in case, the ratings and stuff.

49:09 Adam Right. Geez, you guys may give the Grammys a run for their money.

49:14 Guest They left the show last week really good, because the guys got to pick their dates, Alison got to go. And then the girls were going to pick their dates, and they said, the four guys that dated Shannon, please step forward. And I was one of the lucky guys, the daters, so step forward. And then the end of the show. So just like, oh!

49:34 Adam I was, again, I only see half the show, because I have to come do this scrappy show, but I was disgusted, as I said to Drew, when the guys voted off the Miss Georgia. Patty, I didn't know what kind of move that was. Hey, I don't know, are you going to vote Miss Georgia off your island? What kind of universe is that? I mean, they left a few on that I could have tossed on the boat and they got rid of Miss Georgia.

50:02 Caller It was about what they, they were into personalities and how people were treating them.

50:06 Adam Well, that's why I don't respect them. They're into the personality thing. Go for that. And I mean, did you know Patti?

50:15 Caller Yeah, we all lived together.

50:17 Adam Didn't like her, huh? Pain in the ass?

50:20 Caller Want to kill the bitch?

50:21 Caller No.

50:22 Adam You're going to kill her to sleep the next night?

50:25 Caller You know, I don't know. I think the whole pageant thing is a lot different than anything I've ever been exposed to.

50:30 Adam Yeah, those women are all screwballs. I mean, let's face it. Yeah. It warps them. That weird kind of John Benet family thing, you know?

50:40 Caller Yeah. It's a different thing.

50:41 Adam Did you guys do that move where you got the pillowcases and filled it with bar soap and beat the crap out of her while she was still...

50:47 Caller No, like that military thing? You know, we didn't really get into that stuff.

50:51 Adam That would have been my move, you know. Get that beauty queen. She wouldn't be so pretty when I was down there, you know what I'm saying, Drew? With that bar soap? Yeah.

51:00 Caller All right.

51:01 Adam Drew, you've pulled that in college, right? Sure. Donald, you're 22.

51:06 Caller Yeah, 22.

51:07 Adam What's up?

51:09 Caller Not much, man. I'm just a little nervous from being on air.

51:13 Drew All right. What's the question, Donald?

51:15 Caller All right. It's been like three months when I'm having sex, I masturbate, or anything. It's just like if you think about girls, my mom's face would just pop up in my head.

51:27 Drew Nice.

51:28 Caller Yeah.

51:28 Adam She does when I do it too, though.

51:31 Drew So, you smoke a little pot?

51:34 Caller No.

51:34 Caller Yeah. No. Yeah?

51:36 Caller Yeah.

51:37 Caller Yeah.

51:38 Drew How much? You got that stoner left.

51:40 Caller It's probably been about a month, actually.

51:41 Drew But you were really into it for a while, huh? Yeah.

51:43 Caller I was just having a...

51:44 Adam Yeah.

51:45 Drew There we go.

51:46 Adam Why are you off it?

51:46 Drew I'll tell you one thing.

51:47 Adam You get busted?

51:49 Caller No. I stopped for my girlfriend.

51:51 Drew She insisted you stop. So you're drinking more now?

51:53 Caller No. I stopped that.

51:55 Drew I'll tell you one thing that happens, and this is kind of funny, something I've observed with people that are addicted to marijuana, then stop. Not even necessarily when they stop. They tend to get obsessive-compulsive kinds of symptoms sometimes. Do you do anything else, any kind of rituals where you're sort of having to leave the television on a certain channel or turn lights off and on a certain number of times, that kind of thing?

52:14 Caller Sometimes, I always count on my fingers constantly. Right.

52:18 Drew There we go. So that's it. This is something I've seen very frequently from heavy marijuana, not very frequently, but occasionally from very heavy marijuana users. One of the things about being obsessive-compulsive is having intrusive thoughts. Mom's head, mom's face is part of that obsessive-compulsive quality.

52:33 Adam It's kind of a silent terex.

52:35 Drew Kind of, yeah, and the terex is a relative. It's another obsessive-compulsive disorder. Instead of intrusive tics and intrusive words, you have intrusive ideas and intrusive behaviors like this guy has. He needs to get his marijuana addiction treated because he will switch over to something else, some other drug.

52:51 Adam Alright, so he gets out of the woods with that, mom starts popping off, popping up in his jack sessions. Alright, listen, well you know what he should do. Hold on a second. Donald? What are you doing? Closing your eyes when you masturbate?

53:07 Caller Uh, well sometimes.

53:08 Adam Yeah, see there's your mistake.

53:10 Caller Yeah.

53:11 Adam Yeah, God knows what runs, you know what runs through my mind when I close my eyes and masturbate? A lot of those Christmas specials, those claimated Christmas specials.

53:18 Drew It'll be Sid Hardy Croft.

53:20 Adam Mid-sixties, Mr. Heat Miser, Mr. Snow Miser. Yeah, it's bad. I leave my eyes open so I can...

53:25 Drew Over and gold.

53:26 Adam Yeah, Burl Ives runs through my mind.

53:29 Drew Nice.

53:30 Adam Get some porno and leave your eyes open.

53:33 Drew And you have to deal with this marijuana issue, Donald. It's starting to affect you.

53:36 Adam Dano, you ever do that wank where you have two or three magazines spread out and you try to kind of work them, you know what I mean? Like you're the security guard looking at a bunch of monitors. It's like you're over here, you're over there and you're like, well, let's see, I'll start here but I'm going to finish over there and then you jump back over here and then you go...

53:54 Guest You flip back and forth.

53:55 Adam Yeah, I got two eyes. I can see what's going on on both of these. Put one in the middle.

54:00 Guest You picked the wrong one.

54:01 Caller Shoot.

54:02 Adam Yeah, well, there's always, I was going to say tomorrow, but there's always an hour from now. All right. Let's talk to Sergio.

54:10 Caller Hello?

54:11 Adam You're 18. What's up, Sergio?

54:13 Caller It's the Great Spudini.

54:14 Adam Oh, yeah.

54:15 Drew Oh, we forgot about Spudini.

54:16 Adam That's my poor name, the Great Spudini. Where Kate...

54:19 Caller Well, first of all, I want to say a long-time listener, first-time caller.

54:23 Drew Thanks, Sergio.

54:24 Caller Been listening since the Portman days, I guess.

54:26 Drew What? You're 18. How old were you?

54:29 Caller Yeah.

54:30 Drew You must have been five when you were listening.

54:32 Caller Yeah. My cousin, he used to listen to it.

54:35 Drew I see.

54:36 Caller So, you know, we used to listen together. Well, anyways, my question is, I had a kid about a year ago, but before, you know...

54:43 Drew See all the education I've been providing.

54:44 What an impact you made on his life.

54:47 Drew You inspire me, Sergio.

54:48 Caller Oh, yeah. I used to do a lot of drugs, right? I used to smoke a lot of pot.

54:54 Drew Keep going. It's building my confidence.

54:56 Adam Drew is throwing a rope over a piece of plumbing in the studio. He's about to hang himself. Keep going. They're talking about beating your child and he's hanging.

55:05 Caller It's over. Well, I used to do it like a lot of LSD, ecstasy, and shrooms, you know. Wonderful. My question is, is there any possibility that my kid is going to be slow or something like that?

55:21 Drew Not unless mom was doing it.

55:23 Caller No, no. His mom, like his mom is like, you know, she's like a straight A student, you know. Really?

55:29 Drew Her dad was an alcoholic?

55:31 Caller Yeah.

55:31 Drew Yeah, I know that.

55:34 Adam Yeah, that's why she's with Sergio.

55:36 Drew Exactly.

55:37 Caller Right.

55:38 Drew Well, so Sergio, so he may inherit the genetic predisposition for addiction from you.

55:44 Caller Yeah, the gene, right?

55:45 Drew The gene, but he won't be affected by your drug use per se. Are you in recovery now?

55:49 Caller Well, sort of. I was.

55:52 Drew You sound like you sort of kind of understand what you should be doing.

55:55 Caller Yeah, because on April Fools last year, I got arrested because I was in a rave and I got arrested for selling LSD.

56:04 Drew Nice.

56:05 Caller Yeah. And the judge ordered me to go to rehab.

56:08 Drew Oh, good.

56:09 Caller So I was in rehab for about four months.

56:11 Drew Well, my confidence has been so nicely shaken by you. Just don't tell me what's been happening since, but just apply the things you learned during that treatment.

56:18 Caller Yeah, but yeah, but I mean, I got kicked out of rehab, though. That's why I got sent to a mental hospital.

56:25 Adam Hey, Sergio. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Dano.

56:27 Guest I was just going to say, Sergio, man, you got a kid. Focus on that. Put 110 percent on that. That's your job and your duty right now. You need to take care of that.

56:36 Caller Yeah, I've been trying, you know, it's hard, but, you know, I'm giving it my best.

56:41 Guest Yeah.

56:41 Drew Stay with the mom.

56:42 Adam You may have to do a little better.

56:44 Caller The mom, she's actually going to college right now. Good. Her mom and dad take care of the kid, I guess.

56:51 Drew The kid needs you guys.

56:52 Adam Yeah, well, not you guys, per se, but parents.

56:56 Caller Yeah, I mean, I hope we're out, like, I pay the babysitter and stuff like that.

56:59 Adam All right, well, if you're paying the babysitter, that's as good as being a dad.

57:03 Caller Yeah.

57:03 Adam All right, hey, Screwball? You knock anyone else up, I'll cut your nuts off and hang them from my car antenna. Do you hear me?

57:11 Caller All right, hey. Whatever happened to the Dr. Drew Shuffle?

57:15 Adam I don't know. All right. We'll bring it back. But listen, hey, listen, all you whacked out parents out there, you kids who are now parents, focusing on the genetic predisposition for alcoholism or drug abuse, nothing could make a greater impact. Forget about the genetics. It's the dad that's absent, the dad that's high, that's what's going to do it. You can override that gene if you're present, if you're loving, if you're nurturing.

57:44 Drew In recovery, in his case.

57:45 Adam Yes. Listen, I don't blame any 18 year olds for not being able to pull it together at 18. God knows, my head was spinning like a dreidel when I was 18. And I was in no shape to be a father.

58:00 Drew Or a dreidel.

58:00 Adam But I wasn't an idiot and had kids. I knew it. Do you know what I'm saying?

58:05 Drew You knew you were an idiot.

58:06 Adam I don't blame them for being idiots. I blame them for being idiots and having kids. That's the mistake. And you know what? When you have a kid, I don't care if you're 10. You forfeit the right to then be a crazy teenager or a effed up young man or young adult. You now must be a father.

58:23 Guest Or you just hump mattresses and you'll be alright.

58:25 Adam That's right.

58:26 Drew That's the Dano maneuver.

58:27 Adam Sure. I mean...

58:28 Caller Can't get a mattress, probably.

58:29 Well...

58:31 Caller Dano has a few mattress children.

58:33 Adam Dano had a queen-size mattress that gave birth to some throw pillows recently. But they're in foster care now.

58:40 They're doing quite nice.

58:42 Caller I know.

58:42 Adam I'm going to get so much crap for this. Crystal?

58:46 Caller Yeah.

58:47 Adam Hey, Spunky. Oh, hey.

58:49 Caller Dano Legere.

58:51 Adam Oh, she knows you. You're 18. Uh-oh.

58:53 Guest What's up?

58:54 Caller I'm Ashley, Cycle News.

58:55 Guest Hey, what's up?

58:57 Caller Hey, I really do have a question.

59:00 Go ahead.

59:01 Caller Okay. What I told the girl is a different question. But the thing is that I've been listening to Loveline for so long, and it's got me really interested in social work and stuff like that. And I, me and my best friend, we find ourselves in this weird situation where we're like the adults of our household. And the adults of our, you know, we make the decisions like, well, that's unfortunate. Our parents don't listen to us. And we have little brothers and little sisters that are going through a lot right now.

59:32 Drew And here's the, here's the pitfall for you. Here's what you have to watch out for. Don't find boyfriends or husbands or keep friends around you whom you can continue to parent. Do you understand?

59:44 Caller Definitely. I know that. Okay. I'm totally, I know that. The question is for me that I'm losing a way to go to college and my mom doesn't really talk to me about it. And she's really like focused on my stepdad and that's fine. And that's the way it's been.

59:58 Drew She may be threatened by you going away to college.

1:00:01 Caller Yeah. Well, she is cause she didn't go to college.

1:00:03 Drew Right. So it's, it's like, it makes her feel less than.

1:00:05 Caller Yeah. So the thing is right now that I've had this kind of continuing letter for like 10 years that I've written to my mom, I guess, and it's been where I've been so nervous cause she's really defensive. And I don't want to make her feel bad. And I don't want to put her down cause I love her. And it's like this continued letter and I'm moving out in July and I'm wondering if I should let it go. Cause I'll be out of the house and I don't have to see everything every day in front of my face. That makes me so upset. Or if I should give her the letter.

1:00:37 Drew What's the letter say?

1:00:38 Caller It says a lot of stuff from the time cause I don't know my birth dad and she doesn't, she throws that around. It's not, it's nothing to her. It's about that. It's about my stepfather who, who right now I'm working full time to go to college because she's never asked him to get a job to help her and she works like long hours to help to take care of me and my brother and hold on.

1:01:03 Drew Hold on. What do you guys think? Letter? Yes or no?

1:01:06 Caller No.

1:01:07 Caller What was that?

1:01:09 Drew I agree.

1:01:09 Dano's thinking about his mattress.

1:01:12 Adam He's got a big date with his mattress this week.

1:01:15 Drew The panel's been full and we think you should not give her this letter. I think you should save it. And I think when you're an adult and caring for yourself, that might be a cathartic thing for you to do at that point, but not now.

1:01:27 Definitely.

1:01:28 Adam James, hello. You're 25.

1:01:30 Caller Yeah. Well, my problem is essentially that I'm addicted to sex, I think, but I don't really have a partner.

1:01:41 Adam I see.

1:01:41 Caller Well, that's a good way to put it.

1:01:44 Drew The Corolla Syndrome.

1:01:46 Caller No, I see. Here's the deal. In Ohio, they have these things called Oriental Massage Parlor.

1:01:52 Adam Oh, let me write that down. It's sure to spread to the rest of the country. The other world. Yes, maybe even parts of Asia. Right. Hey, James. Yes. I don't want to offend the good folks in the Buckeye State, but if it's there, it's been here for 20 years. There's nothing that's there that isn't here first. You get the stuff we're tired of.

1:02:13 Caller I hear you.

1:02:14 Adam Movies, flared jeans.

1:02:16 Caller Music.

1:02:17 Drew Rock Museum. Parafinalia.

1:02:19 Adam Yes, they're going to introduce a car soon. It's called the Gremlin.

1:02:23 Caller All right. Mullets. Don't buy one.

1:02:26 Adam The mullet should be coming soon.

1:02:27 Guest The mullet should be coming soon.

1:02:29 Adam Who's in office? Ford or Carter? Over there in Ohio.

1:02:35 Caller Nice.

1:02:35 Caller All right, buddy.

1:02:36 Adam So they have the Oriental Massage.

1:02:39 Caller Right. And well, what you do is you pay $40 to get in the place. And then a Oriental lady comes by and asks you, you know, what sort of service you want, and then you pay extra. And I've, I've gone, I must have spent like $700 in the past two weeks.

1:02:55 Adam And what do you, what do you get over there? Forty gets you in the door.

1:02:58 Caller Forty gets you in the door, and then it's like 60 for a beager, and then 100 for the full service.

1:03:06 Adam Now that's intercourse?

1:03:07 Caller Yes.

1:03:08 Adam 100 bucks, huh?

1:03:09 Caller Yeah.

1:03:10 Adam Reasonable. We're relocating to Ohio.

1:03:12 Caller We like cheap prices in Ohio.

1:03:14 Adam Yeah. See, that out and this neck of the woods. Well, like real estate. It probably won't run anymore. Cost of living.

1:03:19 Guest Yeah.

1:03:20 Adam Cost of living.

1:03:21 Guest And that prostitution, that sounds pretty shady to me, you know?

1:03:24 Caller It is. Like, I don't know. Police are supposed to do something about it, but I mean, I've been a bunch of times and like nothing.

1:03:30 Adam Now what, how much for a handy with a happy release?

1:03:33 Caller That's like 20 bucks.

1:03:34 Caller He knows the prices. He knows.

1:03:37 Caller I'm sorry, dude.

1:03:38 I know the prices.

1:03:39 Caller I know the sales. I know, like, seriously.

1:03:41 Adam Sure, we're moving on.

1:03:42 Caller They have sales at those places? Like two for one or like?

1:03:46 Caller Sure.

1:03:47 Adam Fire sale.

1:03:48 Drew Happy release?

1:03:49 Adam All semen must go.

1:03:51 Caller We're overstocked.

1:03:52 Caller Damaged goods are cheap.

1:03:54 Adam Seconds, they call them.

1:03:55 Caller Yeah.

1:03:56 Adam All right. So a handy 20, but BJ 60, and of course, 100. Are condoms, right?

1:04:04 Caller Well, not for the handier, the beager.

1:04:07 Drew Well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:04:08 Caller I know they don't do it for BJs, but I insisted on it.

1:04:11 Drew But I mean, thank you.

1:04:12 Caller Because I'm an upright, upstanding citizen.

1:04:14 Drew Yes. Oh, yeah.

1:04:15 Adam You're doing God's work over there banging on a sofa chair.

1:04:18 Caller So you're doing- I feel really bad about this too. It's like, I mean, seriously, like every time I go, I'm like, oh yeah. And then like as I leave, I'm like, oh, you're so dumb.

1:04:26 Guest Do you take your bro bras with you too or what?

1:04:28 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:04:29 Adam You fly solo, huh?

1:04:31 Caller Well, I don't, I don't want it to get, I mean, I don't know, I don't want it to get around, you know what I mean?

1:04:36 Drew That's almost the weirdest part of it, right?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah.

1:04:38 Adam All right. You ever been into, into dudes?

1:04:41 Caller No.

1:04:41 Adam Not at all?

1:04:42 Caller Not at all.

1:04:42 Adam A little slip up the chain, baby.

1:04:45 Caller Not really.

1:04:45 Adam All right.

1:04:46 Caller And when- They don't sell very well.

1:04:48 Adam When's the last time you had a girlfriend?

1:04:51 Drew No, no, a girl.

1:04:53 Caller A girl. No, a girlfriend. We just- I haven't, I haven't had sex up until this, but we, I just broke up with like a long time girlfriend, like four months ago.

1:05:04 Drew With whom you had never had sex.

1:05:06 Caller Right.

1:05:06 Drew Were you engaging all this hooker stuff during all that?

1:05:08 Caller No, no, no.

1:05:09 Drew This is something came after the relationship.

1:05:11 Caller Yes.

1:05:11 Adam Why no sex with the girl? Too expensive?

1:05:14 Caller She was Indian and she wouldn't before marriage.

1:05:18 Drew And had you had previous girlfriends?

1:05:20 Caller Yes. But I mean, she and I went out for like five years.

1:05:24 Adam Oh, I see. James, you just fell off. I was going to say the horse, but the elephant. The Indian reference. So it's time to get back up on it.

1:05:33 Drew Yeah, you're in a bad cycle. You're in a compulsive, maybe even an addictive cycle.

1:05:37 Adam You're in a plus a guy, you know, five years of pent up sexual. They just unleashed on this poor Asian colony over there in Ohio. Just taking them down one at a time. Like it's like when Rambo stormed into the camp to free the POWs. So here's the thing. We make a team here, Dano. So here's the deal. All right, you this is get you've got this out of your system, we hope. Find a find a woman and start dating her and, you know, a nice adult woman you can get some sex from and put this aside.

1:06:10 Drew Break the cycle here. Yeah, he needs to get some more productivity in his life. Yeah, real relationship.

1:06:15 Guest Start doing some stuff, going out.

1:06:17 Caller Yeah, mattresses.

1:06:20 Adam 20 bucks for a handy. Not bad. That ain't bad. Those aren't LA prices. I'll tell you that. No way. A guy drives a pizza off at your place, you got to give him 20 bucks. And that's no handy. I mean, most of the time, no handy, right? I mean, 80% of the time, no handy with that pizza, right, Drew?

1:06:41 Drew Nope.

1:06:42 Adam Even if the guy screwed up on the topping sometimes, no handy.

1:06:45 Drew I never understood what they meant when they asked about the handy.

1:06:48 Adam That's what it is. You like a handy with that? Harmony?

1:06:51 Caller Uh-huh.

1:06:52 Adam Year 21?

1:06:53 Caller Yep, I am.

1:06:54 Caller What's up?

1:06:55 Caller Me and my husband are having sexual problems. And when we first met, we used to like have sex every day. And now we're just barely doing it like once a month.

1:07:07 Drew How long has that been going on for?

1:07:08 Caller It's been going on for about three, four months now.

1:07:11 Drew Anybody on medication? Anybody have any problems, depression, medical problems, recent pregnancy?

1:07:18 Caller No.

1:07:20 Drew And anything going on in the relationship?

1:07:23 Caller Yeah, there's a lot of not trusting.

1:07:27 Adam He cheated on you.

1:07:29 Caller We both cheated on each other.

1:07:30 Adam Who started it?

1:07:33 Caller Actually, he did.

1:07:35 Adam Well, payback.

1:07:36 Caller And when I was pregnant with my son, when I was about 17, he went up to Job Corps and he came back with the picture. And he didn't tell me that he had this picture. And so I found it a year later after we got married. So I kind of felt like he married me deceitfully.

1:07:53 Drew To what?

1:07:54 Adam All right, hold on. He went to Job Corps, which essentially means he was a criminal. No, Job Corps is a nice name for a chain gang. It's a euphemism for chain gang. And they send Job Corps somewhere between junior college and the military. It's not good though. That's where we take our, we take the trouble kids and we ship them off to Job Corps.

1:08:12 Caller Yeah, right.

1:08:14 Adam Those guys are sort of a criminal, right?

1:08:18 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:08:19 Adam All right, genius. Thank God he got you pregnant. They have lots of little criminals. It's the way it works. So he goes off to Job Corps. Or before he goes to Job Corps, he gets you pregnant. Yeah. And then he.

1:08:31 Drew How did you learn about Job Corps by the way? They didn't really have that when you were in high school college, right?

1:08:35 Adam Drew, you know I know.

1:08:36 Drew I'm, I'm, but I usually draw from your experience and.

1:08:39 Adam No, you know I am. I'm like a rooster from Starsky and Hutch.

1:08:43 Drew You just got your.

1:08:44 Adam I'm like that pimp on the street. Yeah, you're out there. I know what's going on. I know about the full release handy. I know about the Job Corps.

1:08:50 Drew And the happy release.

1:08:51 Adam And the happy release. Yeah, a big broad range.

1:08:54 Drew Ranging.

1:08:56 Adam Harmony. So he gets you pregnant. He goes up to the Job Corps.

1:09:02 Drew And he brings back a picture of someone.

1:09:05 Caller Yeah, of him and the girl.

1:09:07 Drew And that upset you?

1:09:08 Caller It did.

1:09:09 Adam What were they doing in the picture?

1:09:11 Caller They were just real close.

1:09:12 Caller They, he had his arm around her.

1:09:19 Adam He had his arm around her?

1:09:20 Drew Did he definitely cheat with her?

1:09:22 Caller I'm not quite sure. I don't know.

1:09:24 Adam Wait a minute, he had his arm around her?

1:09:26 Drew So what?

1:09:26 Guest It could just be somebody he met there.

1:09:28 Drew I mean, he was on the way to the Job Corps. Yeah.

1:09:31 Adam The guys don't care.

1:09:32 Drew A good friend.

1:09:32 Adam Well, wait a second. Was the picture taken at Job Corps?

1:09:37 Caller Yeah, it was.

1:09:38 Adam With one of the other inmates?

1:09:38 Caller Were they chained together?

1:09:40 Adam No. Well, they unchain them at night when they sleep. In case there's a fire. All right. So he met this girl at Job Corps and they took a picture. And then he brought the picture back.

1:09:51 Caller Yeah, without telling me about it.

1:09:53 Adam Without telling you about what?

1:09:55 Caller About the girl that he was friends with.

1:09:58 Adam Why? Well, hold on. Hold on. I got a whole bunch of things to say to Harmony. First off, Harmony, you're going to find that men are not going to tell you a lot of things in life. You want to know why?

1:10:08 Caller Why?

1:10:08 Adam Because everything's cheating in your book. You're damaged. You're scared and you're angry and this guy is not going to tell you anything and neither is any guy because you come at them all the time with it.

1:10:20 Caller Yeah.

1:10:20 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:10:22 Drew So that's why he didn't tell you because him having a friend would be immediately a trust violation for you.

1:10:27 Caller Exactly.

1:10:27 Adam Right. So you're going to successfully shut down all communication lines with this guy because he thinks you're going to freak if you find out anything even if it's nothing.

1:10:37 Caller Yeah.

1:10:38 Adam All right. What happened to you growing up?

1:10:42 Caller Our marriage didn't.

1:10:43 Adam No, no, growing up.

1:10:44 Drew Your dad.

1:10:45 Adam Who screwed you over?

1:10:47 Drew Your dad cheat? Your dad was a cheater?

1:10:52 Caller No.

1:10:52 Caller What did he do?

1:10:55 Caller He just after he came home, I just found a picture and he.

1:10:59 Drew No, your dad.

1:10:59 Adam Your dad. Hey, turn your radio down. You hear me?

1:11:04 Caller Yeah.

1:11:05 Adam Turn the radio down, goofball. Come on, Harmony.

1:11:08 Caller Turn the radio down, honey, please.

1:11:10 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake. I tell you, it matches the stupidity of our callers against any international radio show. Harmony, your father, the guy who borned you.

1:11:21 Caller Yeah.

1:11:21 Adam Let's talk about him for just one second.

1:11:23 Caller Okay.

1:11:24 Adam What kind of guy was he?

1:11:27 Drew Did he cheat, was our question.

1:11:28 Caller Well, he cheated on my mom.

1:11:30 Drew There we go.

1:11:30 Caller When she got her pregnant.

1:11:31 Adam Shocking, shocking revelation.

1:11:33 Caller I've never met my birth dad.

1:11:35 Adam All right. So tons of issues here, right?

1:11:38 Caller Lot of issues.

1:11:38 Adam All right. How about we deal with those issues?

1:11:41 Drew And not project them into your current situation.

1:11:44 Adam Okay. Not that Mr. Job Corps is any catch.

1:11:46 Caller Yeah.

1:11:47 Adam I mean, this guy is no Prince Charming, but he is the father of your child.

1:11:50 Caller Yeah.

1:11:51 Adam Do you have one child?

1:11:52 Caller I have two.

1:11:53 Adam No. Why two, baby? You barely raise a hamster.

1:11:58 Caller I know.

1:11:58 Adam Well, can you be sterilized, please? Isn't somebody intervening on the behalf of the people of Utah? Do you know what I'm saying? What kind of birth control are you on?

1:12:11 Caller I'm not on any. Why not? I used to be.

1:12:14 Drew Why aren't you now? Oh, well, if you were, why aren't you now?

1:12:17 Caller Because I just...

1:12:19 Caller it messes up my whole body.

1:12:21 Caller Pregnancy will mess up your whole body.

1:12:23 Caller Yeah.

1:12:24 Adam Hey, Harmony, listen to me. Stop... what you're doing is you're sabotaging the United States one kid at a time, do you hear me? And I don't want to come down on you real hard, but I'm going to because now you have two kids and you're not using birth control. I swear to Christ, you have another kid. You should be...

1:12:43 Caller you should be shot.

1:12:44 Adam You really should.

1:12:45 Caller Well, see, what I want is I want to work out the issues before...

1:12:48 Adam That's right. In the meantime, you don't get pregnant. Do you hear me?

1:12:52 Drew Exactly. Then birth control.

1:12:53 Adam Birth control.

1:12:54 Drew Yeah.

1:12:55 Adam Work on the issues in birth control and you just work on making a stable environment for your now two kids so that they don't come out in Job Corps. Do you understand?

1:13:05 Drew Start looking at solutions. We know your husband may not be the most trustworthy guy. He obviously contributes to this too. But the way you're dealing with reality is projecting all the past issues onto it. Stay in this reality and look for solutions on behalf of your kids, which includes birth control. All right.

1:13:22 Adam I'm too tired for a 20-minute tirade right now. But listen, all you pussies out there listening to other radio shows and TV programs, this is the issue right here. Harmony over here, two kids, no birth control, slowly poisoning the United States, one crampy kid at a time. Let's address this issue, please. All right, we'll take a little break, Temptation Island. What were we talking about?

1:13:43 Caller Nine o'clock Wednesday night.

1:13:44 Adam On Fox, we have Alison and Dano both there. Oh, they're leaving. That's right. That's right. Yeah, they're supposed to... Well, let's keep going. No. I do want to thank you guys for coming out and I'm taking time out of...

1:13:56 Guest Thanks for having us.

1:13:57 Adam What I'm sure is a hectic schedule and it was nice seeing you and I am a big fan of the show and I hope it... I hope you springboard into all sorts of other great endeavors, but not Alison. She's gonna be a doctor.

1:14:10 Caller Yeah.

1:14:10 Guest No.

1:14:11 Caller All right.

1:14:11 Guest Thanks a lot for having us.

1:14:12 Caller Thanks.

1:14:13 Adam We'll be back.

1:14:16 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:14:17 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:14:59 Adam Yeah. Now, Drew, do you know what you're saying? You're saying you're into techno and not house or house and not techno. I can't remember your music. We both got campy in our mouths.

1:15:11 Drew What's house?

1:15:13 Adam I don't know.

1:15:14 Drew I'm just trying to remember what it was you impressed me by knowing a few minutes ago.

1:15:18 Adam Job Corps. Job Corps was basically criminals putting out forest fires. Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing. I mean, that's what we need to do. I've said for years, we need to build another railroad in this country. Take all the troublemakers and just build something to Alaska.

1:15:37 Caller Keep them busy.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah. Drew, can you talk?

1:15:41 Drew Yeah, I'm fine.

1:15:42 Adam It's like a cartoon.

1:15:43 Drew No, I'm fine.

1:15:43 Caller Go ahead.

1:15:45 Drew It's just, it's really just music, though, to hear you snorting and sniffling and stuff.

1:15:50 Adam I'm like a hound dog with a bone.

1:15:52 Drew Like a rhinoceros for eating.

1:15:54 Adam Andres?

1:15:56 Caller Yeah.

1:15:56 Adam What's up there?

1:15:58 Caller Well, I have a girlfriend and she's like, well, she's kind of weird. First, she's like, you know the movie, Grease? She dresses like the girls in Grease. And the problem is she likes to have sex in weird places. First, it was in a movie theater. Second, she wanted to do it. We did it in a public park. It was like senior citizens walking by and stuff. I don't know if she likes to have sex in weird places.

1:16:25 Adam I see. What does she wear? Like poodle skirt and bobby socks?

1:16:30 Caller No, pretty much like tight blue jeans, cuffed up, or her hair like Betty Page and stuff like that. You know, I like her.

1:16:40 Adam That's a 50s look, right?

1:16:42 Caller Yeah, she's into pretty much that stuff too. I don't mind that.

1:16:45 Adam Saddle shoes?

1:16:47 Caller Yeah.

1:16:48 Drew I don't know. I know her.

1:16:48 Caller Because she's older or something.

1:16:50 Drew She's a little into drugs and alcohol?

1:16:52 Guest Or it's the thrill of getting caught or something.

1:16:55 Drew Yeah, there's a thrill thing that she gets off on. Is she into drugs and alcohol a little bit?

1:17:00 Caller She used to be.

1:17:01 Drew Yeah, because that's an addict thing, is to need that thrill component to really get off on the thrill piece.

1:17:07 Adam How old is she?

1:17:09 Caller She's 17.

1:17:10 Adam Wow, son of a bitch, a 15-year-old with a 17-year-old?

1:17:13 Caller Yeah.

1:17:14 Adam For the dude to be 15, that's some range.

1:17:17 Guest Yeah.

1:17:18 Adam Yeah, your penis really has range.

1:17:20 Guest Yeah. Well, it's not my first time.

1:17:23 Drew 15.

1:17:24 Adam All right.

1:17:25 Drew Are you wearing a condom?

1:17:27 Caller Yeah.

1:17:28 Caller The other thing is, well, I don't know what I should do about her, but the other thing is I caught her having sex with my brother too.

1:17:35 Caller No.

1:17:35 Adam No. Don't believe her.

1:17:37 Drew Yeah. I don't believe he's calling him.

1:17:39 Adam That would have been the first question.

1:17:40 Drew Yeah.

1:17:42 Adam Yeah. All right. Here's the deal, everyone. Thank you. Just on the off chance that you are actually dating Ms. Poodle skirt over here, which I don't believe.

1:17:55 Drew I don't believe it.

1:17:56 Adam But there's a lot of people in the show are dating screwed up people.

1:17:59 Caller Yeah. Here's the key.

1:18:00 Drew Drew.

1:18:01 Adam Even the great Dr. Drew is dated a screwball or two in his day. Right. There's been some gals. Gals you didn't want to start a family with, gals you didn't want to marry, gals you didn't want to have a long-term relationship with.

1:18:14 Guest Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:14 Adam Like 750. Okay. Here's my point. You don't get them pregnant. That is the long-term part. Hey, earrings, that ain't long-term. A couple of Valentine's weekends or a retreat, get away for the weekend. All that means nothing.

1:18:32 Drew Also don't get a deadly STD.

1:18:34 Adam The deadly STD and the child. And by the way, I don't care that you get the deadly STD as much as I care about you having a kid because that doesn't affect me quite as much. But the point is, is having a kid, that is a common bond for you two for 18 years now, right?

1:18:50 Drew Yeah.

1:18:51 Adam Don't get the crazy ones pregnant. James.

1:18:53 Caller Yeah.

1:18:54 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:18:55 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

1:18:57 Drew Hey, what's up, James?

1:18:58 Adam Hey, what's up, James?

1:18:59 Caller Not much. You're my second favorite Jewish comedian, Adam.

1:19:02 Drew Thank you.

1:19:03 Adam I'm not Jewish.

1:19:04 Drew So who's your first? Who's your first favorite?

1:19:06 Caller John Stewart.

1:19:07 Adam Yeah. He's Jewish and he's funny.

1:19:09 Caller I thought you were Jewish.

1:19:10 Adam No, I may be your favorite Gentile comedian now. Who's your favorite Gentile comedian? I don't have one. Well, you're talking to him now, brother.

1:19:22 Caller The Great Spudini.

1:19:23 Adam The Great Spudini, number one, John Stewart's favorite Jew. I'm going to tell him that. I'm going to see him next week, I think.

1:19:30 Caller Okay.

1:19:31 Adam What's up?

1:19:32 Caller About three years ago, there was a shooting at my high school and that has left me kind of not quite right in the head, sort of. And I noticed that, I mean, I get depressed occasionally and I noticed that when I'm not depressed is when I'm like masturbating or looking at porn on the Internet.

1:19:50 Drew So that that sort of distracts you from your mood.

1:19:53 Caller Yeah, I was wondering if that was weird or not.

1:19:55 Drew It's not weird, but it's it's how some people manage their feelings and it suggests that your feeling states are really disturbed.

1:20:03 Adam What what happened at the high school?

1:20:06 Caller Well, there is this kid who was mentally messed up and he got caught on campus with a gun. And unfortunately, they couldn't do anything. So he was out 24 hours, like 12 hours later. And so he came back after killing his parents and injured 23 students and killed two other ones.

1:20:26 Adam Oh, Springfield, Oregon, huh?

1:20:28 Caller Yeah, there's about 11 months before Columbine.

1:20:32 Adam Yeah, yeah. And his parents were like teachers?

1:20:36 Caller Yeah, yeah, his parents were teachers.

1:20:38 Adam And they were like real normal and everything. It was kind of weird to try to figure out where the link was. What Drew and I do when we hear these stories, is try to figure out where's the abuse, where where's the Loveline in this?

1:20:50 Caller Well, he it was proven he was part of his brain. When this is he was screwed up.

1:20:57 Drew So he had some, some serious.

1:20:59 Adam And you can never rule that out. I mean, that trumps everything.

1:21:02 Drew Right. Some real neurologic problems. All right.

1:21:04 Adam And that you were where when this happened?

1:21:07 Caller I was in the band room at the time and I saw actually saw one of the students who died get shot in the head.

1:21:14 Drew Wow.

1:21:15 Caller And that kind of.

1:21:15 Drew Okay. Well, that that will give you something called a post-traumatic stress reaction and all kinds of mood disturbances and panic and anxiety. So really you need to get that treated, James.

1:21:25 Caller Okay.

1:21:26 Drew It's not about the sex. The sex is the one thing that gives you a little relief. But it's that your brain chemistry is awful a bit right now because of all that trauma. That's awful. That's all. You're doing okay in school and stuff?

1:21:39 Caller Well, I actually graduated last year.

1:21:41 Drew What are you going on?

1:21:43 Caller I'm looking to go into the local community college.

1:21:45 Adam Oh, oh, please get yourself a medical evaluation immediately, son.

1:21:49 Caller Okay, Adam.

1:21:50 Adam Please.

1:21:50 Caller You have a very wrong opinion about community college.

1:21:53 Adam Yes, I know. The wonderful institutions of higher learning.

1:21:56 Caller I actually plan on moving to the University of Oregon in two years.

1:22:00 Adam Yes, James.

1:22:01 Caller Yes.

1:22:02 Adam I don't mean to kick a man while he's down, but everyone who enters that junior college like my good buddy, John Gillingham, who I spoke to last night and wanted to use my party house to hold his engagement party. I spoke to him at 1230 last night. I said, what are you doing up so late, John? He said, I'm doing some calculus homework. Still at 35, be 37 in three months.

1:22:24 Drew Wow.

1:22:25 Adam Still at the junior college.

1:22:26 Drew Wow.

1:22:27 Adam Yes, it's heroin. It's heroin for the retarded. It keeps you locked in. You can't get out. Once you go through those doors. My buddy, John, in 1982 thought he was going to be at UCLA in 1984, 1985. It's now, what year is it now?

1:22:44 Caller 2001?

1:22:45 Drew Too much pot?

1:22:45 Caller What is it?

1:22:47 Adam Here's what it is. The reason you're going to junior college is because you're a bad student.

1:22:53 Drew Who are you kidding?

1:22:54 Adam Who are you kidding? That's why you're there. And that's exactly why you don't transfer and go off to a four-year college. I'm just saying, save yourself some time, admit it, and get a job. That's all. Do what all the other stupid people like me do. Joe?

1:23:11 Caller Hi.

1:23:11 Adam Hi, you're 22?

1:23:13 Caller Yes.

1:23:13 Adam What's up?

1:23:14 Caller Well, my girlfriend and I, this is about nine, ten months ago, she missed her period and we discovered she was pregnant. And we agreed that having an abortion would be a good idea because she and I were both in college and it was like, you know, we just didn't need it and we weren't ready.

1:23:33 Drew What's the question?

1:23:34 Caller Well, it's now like, you know, nine months later and I mean, just the other night, like, I mean, she's just going through, she's still depressed. And I mean, she's, I don't know, I don't know what to do.

1:23:46 Drew How far into the pregnancy was she?

1:23:48 Caller She was, I mean, she had just missed her period and then we went straight to mental health, or not mental health, not mental health, community health.

1:23:55 Drew Well, it's really, it sounds like she needs to go to mental health now. And then people, no, listen Joe, women can get a biological depression. And they were pregnant and there is a vast change when that pregnancy is removed.

1:24:06 Caller But I mean, I don't know, just the other night, like, I mean, I went over there and I mean, everything was just fine. Like she was with her family and everything. And then she just like looked at me and she started sobbing and she was like, oh, oh my God, my butthole is as big as a mace. That's pretty good.

1:24:24 Drew You there still? You hung up, you shouldn't hang up on it.

1:24:28 Adam Joe, don't hang up. We're going to hear praise on you. You're too busy eating chocolate to really, uh, you shouldn't laugh. Yeah, but you can't, you can't, you can't not laugh with the mason jar. Now, wait a minute, did he say her butthole was as big as a mason jar?

1:24:47 Drew Yeah, it was not that guy though.

1:24:49 Adam It wasn't? It was just the butthole the size of the mason jar society?

1:24:54 Drew Exactly, the fan club.

1:24:55 Adam One of the members? I wonder what that windbreaker looks like. Listen, I love a good bogus call. You know what it is? Here's where I look at myself. I'm like a guy who, I'm like a temp and I sit at a desk for two hours. You want to come in with some actual work for me to do? Fine. You want to come in and chew the fat, eat some of the candies out of the dish and hang out and BS? That's fine too.

1:25:23 Caller I'm leaving.

1:25:25 Adam Take a break. Oh really? Yeah, we got to get in this chocolate. All right, when we come back, we're going to speak to Craig. Craig is 23. 666 goes 385, so let's not make fun of him. He's having a little trouble with the sex after this.

1:25:38 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:26:13 Adam This is my new riff. Newfound Glory. There's a good band. Hey, Anne, we got to get Newfound Glory on the show. March 20th. Well, there you go.

1:26:27 Caller See that?

1:26:28 Adam Speaking is she'll be done. That is producer Anne. Another band I like a lot, who I haven't seen around in a while, Anne, who I saw in Letterman, I think last night, Space Hog. That's a good live band, that's Space Hog. Oh boy, those hogs rock. I'm telling you, you see bands on TV, Leno, Letterman, that kind of thing, it's not that impressive. Something about the sound, it just doesn't really translate, especially smaller band, four-man band. Yeah. Space Hog, some rock. Yeah. That's a good band. I'd like to get them on too. All right. Let's get back to the phones. Greg?

1:27:07 Caller Yeah. What's going on, bro?

1:27:08 Adam Hey, everybody. 23. What's happening there?

1:27:10 Caller Great Spudini and the great Dr. Drew.

1:27:13 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:27:14 Caller Detroit, the home of the Insane Clown Passage, brother.

1:27:17 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:27:18 Caller Oh, hi.

1:27:18 Caller Our buddies.

1:27:19 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:27:20 Drew When are you going to have them? We lost an affiliate because of that show.

1:27:24 Adam Oh, really?

1:27:25 Caller Yeah.

1:27:25 Adam Well, it was worth it.

1:27:27 Caller When are you going to have them back on?

1:27:28 Adam Well, they were just on a month and a half or two months ago or something.

1:27:33 Caller I listen to the show.

1:27:33 Caller All right, buddy.

1:27:34 Adam Don't get defensive on me. And they'll be back whenever they want to come back.

1:27:38 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:27:38 Caller But anyhow, the problem is I get fully aroused. I'm just large. I have a stomach on me, but the rest of my body is well proportioned. Mm hmm.

1:27:48 Adam Six, six, three, eighty five.

1:27:50 Caller Yes, sir.

1:27:51 Adam I like to see you trim down to a trim three fifty.

1:27:54 Caller I tried to actually at one time in my life, I was six ninety.

1:27:58 Drew And then my six hundred ninety pounds.

1:28:00 Caller Yes, sir.

1:28:00 Drew Oh, my God.

1:28:01 Caller My back was like hunched over.

1:28:03 Drew Yeah.

1:28:04 Caller And just one day I said, I'm not going to do this no more. So I started moving pool tables.

1:28:09 Drew Get a sub sandwich once a day.

1:28:10 Caller Yeah.

1:28:11 Adam Six foot sub. Yes. Hold on. Six, six, six, ninety.

1:28:16 Caller No, I was six to six, ninety. I was just a blob of crap.

1:28:21 Drew Wow.

1:28:23 Adam Wow, that is a load.

1:28:24 Drew You know, it's speaking of a large person, we had these XFL players in here earlier in the week. Yeah. It was like almost it felt dangerous being around him. You know what I mean? He had a little energy going to. But I mean, when that big a person was like being around like a bomb or something. Yeah. Hey, careful, go off any time now.

1:28:42 Adam Yeah. He was about this guy's proportion.

1:28:44 Drew Exactly.

1:28:44 Adam On six, six, he was about three sixty five. Maybe had a little more muscle on him.

1:28:48 Drew Right.

1:28:48 Adam He was such a mountain.

1:28:50 Drew He was like kind of intimidating to be around.

1:28:53 Adam Yeah. And it's funny that he made the guy with six, three and two fifty look small, look kind of slight around him. Yeah.

1:28:59 Caller All right.

1:29:02 Adam In trouble. You're too big for the women.

1:29:05 Caller Actually, no, I got a fiance.

1:29:07 Adam I see.

1:29:07 Caller And she's a really small girl. She's about six, one, six, two, about two hundred thirty pounds. So she's she's just trim and she's really nice.

1:29:16 Adam Hold on. Oh, now I'm going bogus.

1:29:20 Caller I'm dead serious about this car.

1:29:22 Adam How can you say she's a petite at six, two, two thirty five?

1:29:25 Caller Because she's built. She's built like a linebacker.

1:29:28 Adam Yeah.

1:29:29 Drew Linebackers aren't petite.

1:29:30 Adam Well, I know, but still hold on a second, Craig, either Andrew stop me if I make too much fun of him. I don't want to kill me.

1:29:37 Caller But don't worry about it.

1:29:38 Adam But listen, listen, either you're being facetious. You're being facetious or you're insane. I mean, a woman who's over six foot, over 200 pounds is a is a good sized woman.

1:29:49 Caller Yeah. But I mean, she's not fat. She don't have no rolls or anything.

1:29:52 Drew Yeah.

1:29:53 Adam I'm not saying that. I'm just saying she's large.

1:29:57 Caller She's a good sized woman.

1:29:57 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:29:58 Adam Yeah. Not petite. And you guys are going to give birth to a kiln.

1:30:04 Caller Well, she's a she's a she's got type three diabetes, I'm pretty sure, some out of control juvenile diabetes.

1:30:09 Drew Yes.

1:30:10 Caller So she don't think she can have kids.

1:30:11 Drew Well, she can, but it's more dangerous for her.

1:30:13 Caller Yeah.

1:30:14 Adam Really? Because I swear to God, I'd like to mate you two for an experiment.

1:30:19 Caller That's enough.

1:30:19 Adam Really? Really? You give birth to a van.

1:30:22 Drew Yeah, but the question here says that you were having a difficulty sort of getting it together with her physically. You guys seem to sound like you're matched physically.

1:30:29 Caller No, I mean, it's, it's kind of hard because of my stomach. And it just to my stomach gets in the way.

1:30:35 Adam Do you have a lot of excess skin? Yes.

1:30:37 Drew All right. Now that was surgically removed.

1:30:39 Adam Oh man, they do, they do a job on that. They take it over and then they give it to an eskimo and he covers his boat hole with it. So we can go see like in the winter. You know that?

1:30:50 Drew Yeah, I have no doubt they use it.

1:30:52 Adam Oh yeah. It's what they use. Oh, it's not thrown out.

1:30:54 Drew Why not?

1:30:55 Adam Absolutely not. All right. Listen, consult a plastic surgeon. Maybe your medical insurance will even cover it.

1:31:01 Drew Did Marcel show you some pictures or something? Is that why you know? No. You seem to have a vivid impression.

1:31:06 Adam I mean, it's just like the job corps.

1:31:08 Drew Yeah, no, you're very ranging.

1:31:10 Adam Megan?

1:31:11 Caller Yeah.

1:31:12 Adam You're 23.

1:31:13 Caller Yes.

1:31:14 Caller How are you guys?

1:31:15 Adam Well, I just realized I'm trying to redeem my intelligence tonight with Dr. Drew because I just got done doing Win Benstein's Money with Jimmy and the Juggies and I lost to the Juggies.

1:31:27 Drew Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Was this on your show?

1:31:29 Adam No, this was on Win Benstein's Money.

1:31:31 Drew Are they filming that again?

1:31:33 Adam They've been filming it.

1:31:34 Drew But without Jimmy?

1:31:35 Adam Yeah, we just happened to be guests on the show and I was beat by three Juggies. Yeah, so I'm- That's pretty bad. Yeah, it is pretty bad. So I'm trying to sort of reclaim my intelligence by talking Drew into it. Yeah, it was rough.

1:31:49 Drew It was just- Was it the kinds of categories?

1:31:51 Adam Well, one question was given to them. It was a Juggie question that we didn't chime in on. And then another is they gave me- They had the question of who sung Alone Again Naturally. And I said, Gilbert L. Sullivan. And then, and there was like a pause. And then I went, Gilbert O. Sullivan. And they went, I'm sorry. It's- You said Gilbert L. Sullivan. It's Gilbert O. Sullivan. Come on.

1:32:22 Drew I would have said the Carpenters. I would have completely messed it up.

1:32:25 Caller You're doing a game show.

1:32:26 Adam You go with the Gilbert L. Sullivan.

1:32:28 Caller So the Gilbert O.

1:32:28 Adam Sullivan, you don't get it. Well, what can you do? That's the rules. So anyway, I was beat out by the Juggies. In a tiebreaker at the end.

1:32:37 Caller I never underestimate the power of a woman.

1:32:39 Adam No, no.

1:32:40 Drew How do they do against Ben Stave?

1:32:42 Caller I don't know.

1:32:43 Adam I left.

1:32:45 Drew All right, Megan, what's up?

1:32:46 Adam All right.

1:32:47 Caller Here's the problem. Well, there's not a problem. Actually, there's not a problem at all. I enjoy having anal sex. My boyfriend loves it. I love it. But I'm just wondering, are there going to be long term effects?

1:32:59 Drew Possibly. No, you may be pooing on yourself when you're older.

1:33:04 Caller What's that? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah.

1:33:07 Drew That's your problem now or that's what you're wondering?

1:33:09 Caller No, that's what I'm wondering.

1:33:10 Drew Yeah. You can get tears. You can get hemorrhoids. You can get problems holding your poo back in as you get older.

1:33:17 Caller So should you just never have anal sex?

1:33:19 Drew I didn't say that. I just said those are the problems you can have.

1:33:23 Adam My policy is, so as not to wear out the chute there, is anal sex just on very strong religious holidays, such as Easter and Christmas. Jesus' birthday, Jesus' resurrection, those are the days I do the serious sodomizing. See what I'm saying? A little tip of the hat to the baby Jesus.

1:33:45 Caller That's all.

1:33:46 Adam Twice a year. No problem. All right?

1:33:49 Caller But seriously, how about...

1:33:51 Adam Listen, listen, listen. There's no real data to support.

1:33:54 Drew There's no magic number.

1:33:55 Adam Any of this stuff. Here's the deal. If it's uncomfortable.

1:33:59 Caller Don't do it.

1:33:59 Adam And it's hurting you, there may, there's going to be trouble. If it doesn't hurt and it feels fine, all right then.

1:34:06 Caller Well, I mean, of course it feels fine now, but what am I going to be like in 50 years?

1:34:10 Drew That's a good question. Yeah.

1:34:12 Adam You'll be the old lady who is sodomized repeatedly when you're in your 20s. You can amuse your grandkids with those stories. Whereas our grandparents told us stories about the invention of the phone and how they didn't have automobiles. You can put your kids on your knee and tell them how you're raped and only repeatedly in your 20s.

1:34:34 Drew Those days we had to call radio shows to find out about it.

1:34:37 Caller That's right.

1:34:38 Adam And we didn't have any of this synthetic loop. No. Now we use the old KY in Astroglide. We used to drive down to a place called a liquor store to buy it. It's not what they had. They didn't have it delivered to the house like they do now. Oh yeah. And your grandfather, he was rough on my ass. Oh yeah. He put a good smack down on my anus. You guys want some?

1:35:04 Drew God rest his soul.

1:35:05 Adam Oh, cookie's about ready. Let's go in the kitchen. Alright, we'll take a break.

1:35:09 Caller We'll be back. God rest his soul.

1:35:11 Caller We'll be back.

1:35:35 Caller This is Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew, and you're listening to Loveline on the Zone 105.

1:35:44 Adam Yeah, now there you go. Another fabulous episode of Loveline in the camp.

1:35:50 Caller I'm going to go home and wash my makeup off with tears.

1:35:54 Drew You got a haircut too.

1:35:55 Adam Yeah, I'm looking good.

1:35:56 Drew I thought maybe just, you're getting ready to film a match on her.

1:35:59 Caller Yeah, looking good. Yeah, I was going to tell you that. Looking good.

1:36:03 Adam I got a free haircut. I mean, I went to like a barber. You want to hear about keeping it real real quick for a second? I was at a coin up laundry man in North Hollywood doing a bunch of loads of laundry from the party house.

1:36:18 Caller Oh yeah, keeping it real.

1:36:19 Adam Decided I needed a haircut so I walked across the street to a place with a barber pole, walked in and said, you giving haircut? I said, yeah.

1:36:26 Caller You take credit cards?

1:36:27 Adam I said, no. I don't have any cash. I said, yeah, sit down anyway.

1:36:30 Caller Whoa.

1:36:31 Caller Can I give me a haircut?

1:36:32 Adam I went to my car, I pulled an emergency roadside kit out of my car and I dropped it off.

1:36:36 Caller I said, listen, this thing is worth 30 bucks.

1:36:38 Adam Hang on to it.

1:36:39 Caller I'll come back.

1:36:40 Adam I give it a 30 or the 15 bucks for the haircut.

1:36:44 Caller Yeah.

1:36:44 Adam But then I thought, that's keeping it real. Coin up laundry, a stranger cutting your hair.

1:36:49 Caller Nice. You know what I'm saying?

1:36:50 Adam Oh yeah. I'm grounded. It gave me a decent cut, right? I couldn't have done worse than what I did myself two weeks earlier on my toilet with a battery operator here. Absolutely. He was just fixing what I broke.

1:37:05 Caller All right.

1:37:05 Adam I want to thank the beautiful and talented Lauren for doing a great job on the phones all week long.

1:37:11 Caller I want to thank the feminine one, producer Ann for putting her feminine state all over the show, doing a great job booking guests and doing everything around here.

1:37:20 Adam Of course, Anderson for sliding all those potentiometers up and down like a monkey, and our beautiful guest from the Austin area, whose names escape me right now, but we thank for the Whitman's chocolate, Stephanie and Melissa from Austin.

1:37:33 Caller Two beautiful gals in here visiting.

1:37:35 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:40 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Adam Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, February 15, 2001