Episode 1000754886949

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

2:04 Drew Beer bottles and hockey pucks.

2:06 Adam Yep. And I, yeah, the throwing like...

2:07 Drew Moose head beer.

2:08 Adam Maybe LaBats, Blue and hockey pucks. And I was watching the news and it probably wasn't a good time for me, but I thought, yes, I'm right in every stereotype. This is exactly why I stand fervently by my stereotypes because they were throwing hockey pucks and that wouldn't have happened in any other region of the world.

2:29 Drew Yeah.

2:29 Adam But Quebec. Am I right? There you go, everybody. That's what stereotypes are. They're there to help.

2:36 Drew Let's put it this way. They're meeting in Tucson. Will it be one hockey puck in Tucson, let alone thrown by two sodiums?

2:42 Adam That's the thing. And you see, people don't like stereotypes.

2:46 First off, they say negative stereotypes.

2:48 Adam Not all stereotypes are negative.

2:51 Drew Most have some comedy in them.

2:52 Adam I would like to see a hockey puck thrown at our next outbreak here in Los Angeles. I would smile from ear to ear. And you know what else is good about stereotypes? It helps you put things in a context. Like if you just hear them throwing hockey pucks, you're like, holy Christ, what is this?

3:11 Drew Yeah, you'd think there was some sort of......virtualistic behavior, it meant something. What the hell is going on?

3:16 Adam You wouldn't know, but you hear it's in Quebec and you go, oh yes, yes, yes, the Canucks are throwing pucks. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. Dr. Bob is the nation's foremost sex therapist and educator. He's the author of the 1 Hour Orgasm. And I think Drew and I land on about the same spot on this one, which is we do know there's better sex out there. We're just not willing to look or put any time in. Is that where most guys are?

3:44 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah. About 50% of guys are interested in improving their sexual skills. And about 50% could care less. It's not because they don't want to satisfy a woman. It's because they're lazy. They're lazy and they think they already know everything there is to know. But when I named the book that, most guys thought I was including dinner in the title. I mean, how do you go from 10 seconds, which is like a typical orgasm, up to an hour?

4:17 Adam And this is the woman's one hour orgasm?

4:20 Dr. Bob Schwartz Actually it's for both.

4:21 Adam Really?

4:22 Dr. Bob Schwartz But it's a good question.

4:23 Adam We get to watch them for an hour?

4:25 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, no, no. A man can have one too. Although most men think that if that were to happen to them, they'd become dehydrated and have a heart attack. But it's only because we think of orgasm in male terms. And the male's orgasm is thought of as the ejaculation of sperm. But if that were true, women would never have them.

4:47 Adam Just let me chime in for a second here, just because I know we're on radio and our audience at home is curious what Dr. Bob Schwartz looks like. Drew, stop me if I'm wrong. He's sort of a version of the crazy juice guy who's on late night television, the crazy guy with the wild eyebrows who talks very passionately about juicing, constantly juicing. He's a sort of even more viral, more robust version of that guy, if that's possible.

5:17 Dr. Bob Schwartz Thank you.

5:18 Adam You look like you take some anti-aging hormones and work out all the time, is it?

5:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz I used to own a chain of health clubs.

5:28 Adam That's what I was getting from you.

5:30 Dr. Bob Schwartz That's the only difference, yeah.

5:32 Adam So let me ask you, I got a million questions for you, but this one just popped in my head. Where do you come down, and by the way, is this just my earphones that sound bad or is it? Oh, it's just me?

5:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, yeah.

5:43 Adam Everything else sounds good. All right. Sexual surrogates, did you ever use them? No. Did you ever recommend them to patients or that sort of thing? No. Do you believe in them? It always seems a little dicey to me.

5:56 Dr. Bob Schwartz I can see that it could be a shortcut for some people. But for most people out there, it's not something they're ever going to do.

6:05 Adam All right.

6:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz And you have to really trust the person that you're putting your sexual nervous system into their hands, so to speak.

6:12 Right.

6:13 Adam And what, what, uh, uh, changing gears here, what is, uh, I mean, how does one achieve the 1-hour orgasm? I mean, how is this physically possible?

6:24 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, you keep the orgasmic contractions going, which last for about 8 tenths of a second each, for as long as an hour. The longest they ever did it was 11 hours at the university where this came from, more university up in Northern California.

6:39 Adam Oh, Northern California. Shocking.

6:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz But, uh, another California thing.

6:45 Adam And how, how do you monitor that? I mean, how do you, how do you tally that?

6:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz They have, uh, skin galvanometers and, uh, things to measure your pulse and your breathing and your heart rate. And they can see the contractions. You can actually see and feel the orgasmic contractions happening in the person. Now, you know, you could fake a certain number of contractions, but you can't fake them for an hour or 11 hours.

7:12 Adam And what is, is, you know, I'm, I'm just sort of thinking realistically, what are we going to achieve tonight? Because our, our idiot listeners aren't going to do the one and they're not going to do a bunch of exercises with their pelvic muscles and stuff. Maybe, maybe we can get to some basic answers. Like a lot of guys call this show every week talking about premature ejaculation. And they want to know how to slow it down. Yes. And we have a couple of answers we give them, which is, you know, take care of yourself an hour before your girlfriend comes over or, you know, put the Hey Vern guy poster up and stare at that. I mean, but we never really come up with an answer that satisfies them or us, do we, Drew?

7:52 Drew Good. Other than just trying to give them a general direction to master their own sexuality, they're afraid to sort of masturbate. They're afraid to do things that might help them sort of be prepared for the actual encounter.

8:05 Adam Dr. Bob, what do you think?

8:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, a lot of guys out there have this problem. And it's a complaint for a lot of women. They, to use a sports analogy, the women complain that the guy winds up in the showers and she hadn't even gone to the stadium yet. And 70% of women after the honeymoon period, during the honeymoon period, women seem to do fairly well. But after that initial newness of the relationship wears off, about 70% of women say that they're not having orgasms every time. But the men continue to. So that creates an imbalance in the relationship.

8:40 Adam But what's some easy tricks, if there is any, for a guy to slow it down?

8:45 Dr. Bob Schwartz Two things you can do. You can do what we call sexercises. You go to the gym and work out your body. This is a lot more fun. And it strengthens your sensual nervous system. And it also helps you become aware of the levels of intensity. As guys, we know that if you get to that certain level, it's like a freight train. There's no stopping. But prior to that, you can actually either slow down or stop and let the sensations drop down a little bit until you get back in control.

9:21 Adam Well, I think that's a good point. Because I think what a lot of people do is they get right up to that point. And then they try to stop it at that point. And at that point, it is a freight train when the brakes went out. But you're saying, don't get to that point so fast.

9:37 Dr. Bob Schwartz You can learn to actually become aware of the distinctions of where your own body is. Now, that's okay to do. But the most fun way to do it is to have a personal trainer, which is usually your wife or your lady friend do it for you. And we call the technique the Venus Butterfly, which we've heard of before.

9:58 Adam How does that work? Yeah, yeah. But I don't know what it is.

10:02 Dr. Bob Schwartz Basically, it's three things. It's when, where, and how. The when is first getting your partner in the mood. Right. And with a guy that's very important. You have to get him in the mood, erect, before you start. Two is the where, where on his body are the most nerve endings located. And on a man, it's usually the end of his sexual organ, where the most nerve endings are. And the how is what kind of pressure and speed to use to create the most intense sensations in him for the longest period of time. So what the woman does is she actually learns manually how to do this first. And then she can do it.

10:44 Adam Manually with her hands? Yes.

10:47 Dr. Bob Schwartz With her hands. Yeah. And then she can do it, you know, orally or even through intercourse, once she learns the exact kind of pressure and speed that feels the best to him.

10:57 Adam Yeah, but he's having no difficulties with his orgasm.

11:00 Drew Yeah, our problem is at the moment of penetration, their orgasm.

11:04 Dr. Bob Schwartz Okay, so he's getting too excited. Now, that's...

11:09 Drew Without any touching at all. These guys are having... They're having... Some of these guys say they take their pants down and pout.

11:14 Adam Now, here's what it's like. We'll do a little reenactment. Hey, lift your skirt up, would you?

11:21 Drew Oh, here goes. Here.

11:23 Adam Thanks, baby. Hand me the remote.

11:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz In my experience, that's rare. But that's sort of an acknowledgement to the woman's attractiveness. He gets so... I can't...

11:36 Adam It's a great compliment, but it's right up there with, I love you too much to ever be away from you. I have to kill you, too. It's like fantastic.

11:44 Drew Well, there's a, there's the whole, the whole attachment theory now is, is evolving sort of the theoretical framework for how the autonomic nervous system is structured around attachment and connection with other people. And people that have these sympathetic dominated systems who were over aroused and over intruded upon early infancy tend to be the ones that have that. There's all sorts of psychological profiles that go along with that, but they're actually wired differently. And so because of their parasympathetic system isn't, the tone isn't high enough to prevent the orgasm, they're just there all the time and pow, a little stimulation, ejaculation. Now here's where the serotonin-reptile inhibitors prevent that.

12:21 Adam All right, hold on a second, you two. Drew, it was good until you started talking.

12:26 Drew All right, I'll stay out.

12:27 Adam Really, we gotta get, we gotta work you out of this show.

12:29 Drew All right, don't worry.

12:29 Adam All right, hold on a second. We gotta take some phone calls, but we're here with Dr. Bob Schwartz, by the way, who we'll just call the sex expert for lack of a longer title. Marcy?

12:41 Yes?

12:41 Adam You're 25?

12:42 Caller Yes.

12:43 Adam What's up?

12:44 Adam, Drew, I have a question. Is there any long-term side effects of using a vibrator?

12:51 Drew This, Dr. Schwartz can answer this.

12:53 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, one, it's better than what most men can accomplish, but a sexually trained man can outperform a vibrator. Now, if you use a vibrator for a long period of time and you use the real heavy-duty ones, you can numb those nerve endings, but it's not permanent. It's like a cut. Your body can heal the numbed nerve endings if you stop using it.

13:19 Adam So, they will sort of desensitize.

13:22 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yes, and then you'll have even most of the time more problems with actual human contact because...

13:30 Drew It's not good enough.

13:31 Dr. Bob Schwartz It's not intense enough for you because you're used to all this heavy, heavy intensity and yet the intensity can only take you so far where if you have someone that knows what they're doing, they can actually give you more intense orgasmic contractions and they can keep them going for a longer period of time rather than having what we call a genital sneeze. It's not that those sneezes are bad. They're actually a lot of fun, but there's so much more available that you're missing out on.

13:58 Adam Hey, Marcy?

13:59 Yes?

14:00 Adam How often do you use your vibrator?

14:04 Oh, at least three times a day.

14:07 Drew Oh, boy.

14:08 Adam Yeah, you use your Duracell in there?

14:12 Oh, no, energizers, they keep going and going.

14:15 Drew Are you doing something else here, too?

14:18 No.

14:19 Drew No drugs or alcohol involved here?

14:20 No.

14:21 Drew Do you have a history of that kind of thing?

14:22 No.

14:23 Drew You have a family history of that?

14:24 Caller No. All right.

14:25 Adam She dislikes her vibrate.

14:27 I was wondering, you know, because I would like to have children one day and, you know, at times I do feel guilty for using one. I didn't know if using one would, you know, decrease my chances of...

14:38 Drew No, no, no, no, you're fine.

14:39 Adam No.

14:40 Dr. Bob Schwartz You don't have a partner, do you?

14:42 Pardon me?

14:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz You do not have a partner, do you?

14:44 Yes, sir.

14:45 Caller I do have a partner.

14:46 He's...

14:47 How can I put this?

14:48 Adam In jail?

14:50 Drew Hanging out at the Rock and Roll Museum?

14:51 No, no, he just doesn't go the distance.

14:57 Adam Does he orgasm too quickly?

15:01 It's...

15:03 I just can't describe it.

15:04 I...

15:06 When we first met...

15:07 Adam Hold on. Is this me or does Marcy sound like Captain Kirk? Hey, It's like, are you on the toilet?

15:17 No, I'm just...

15:18 Adam All right, well spit it out, baby. Jesus Christ.

15:21 I'm just nervous. I'm sorry. When we first met, it was great, but now...

15:25 Drew This is what Dr. Schwartz was just saying.

15:28 Adam Right. Honeymoon's over.

15:29 Yeah.

15:29 Caller Honeymoon's over. Now...

15:31 Adam Well, okay, let me explain something about guys and you girls better hear this. They are like... They're like children. Now, here's...

15:40 School children.

15:40 Adam Well, here's the way children are. They will spin out until you reel them in. I mean, they'll take as much line as you give them.

15:47 Caller Well...

15:48 Adam Your average kid...

15:49 Drew Wouldn't you say... Well, let's put it more specifically. Like an 11-year-old with a new job. Wouldn't you say? Like, at first, they'll do the job well, right? They'll do the job exceedingly well. New broom sweeps clean.

15:58 Adam Yeah.

15:59 Drew And then they start pressing limits.

16:01 Adam I don't want to... I don't want to use denial in the show at all, but no. That's not what I'm saying. No. That's about half of what I'm saying. What I mean is, is kids need boundaries and they need limits. And forget about the job. Just a four-year-old. They'll spin out as far as you let them spin out. And that's what happens to... Man, they hold down jobs. They're responsible guys. They play by the rules. But in the relationship, they'll start checking out. They'll just start like a boat just drifting away from the dock. They'll just keep going. You got to be that rope that moors it to the dock. And women, you got to pull them back in. Tell them what you need. Tell them what you want. And tell them what they have to do.

16:40 Caller And most guys will respond to it.

16:43 Dr. Bob Schwartz I think one of the things that most guys don't realize is the same skills that you had during that honeymoon period don't usually hold up later on in the relationship. When I'm talking to guys that have been in a relationship for a long period of time, they all pretty much say the same thing. The longer I'm with her, the longer it takes me to get her in the mood and the longer it takes me to gratify her. And after a while, sometimes doing the best they know how with their old skills, they give up.

17:16 Adam They're not even doing that, though. Not our listeners. They get no groove and it gets easy. Christy? Yes. You're 19. It's like this radio show. Drew, remember I used to get here about 9 o'clock?

17:28 Drew Oh yeah, and you used to be awake.

17:29 Adam Reading bios.

17:30 Drew And sober.

17:31 Adam Looking at email. Now I roll in drunk at 30 seconds to 10. And I'm surly when I sit out. Christy?

17:40 Drew No.

17:41 Yes.

17:42 Caller That's all you need to know about guys. You're 19.

17:45 Adam What's up?

17:46 Dr. Bob Schwartz I needed to ask, is it normal, when me and my boyfriend have sex, it takes hours and hours for me to have an orgasm.

17:53 Drew Hours and hours?

17:54 Yes.

17:55 Drew God bless him for hanging in there.

17:57 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, but sometimes at night, I'll wake up in the middle of having an orgasm. I mean, it doesn't have to be a night that we've done anything. You know, I have him in the middle of the night.

18:08 Adam While you're asleep?

18:10 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yes.

18:10 Drew So you're asking us why would it happen so easily in sleep, but have such difficulty when you're...

18:15 Dr. Bob Schwartz Right.

18:15 Adam Yeah. Well, for women, it's such an emotional thing that they can be brought to that place in their sleep. It's not about being manipulated physically. I mean, don't stop me if I'm wrong.

18:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz Guys have wet dreams also. Guys have orgasms while they're asleep also.

18:30 Adam Right. But they're raping the poodle in their sleep.

18:34 Drew At grandpa's funeral in their sleep.

18:37 Dr. Bob Schwartz I know.

18:38 Drew Well, when you're in the dream, Adam, in the dream, OK?

18:42 Adam OK.

18:43 Dr. Bob Schwartz But when you're asleep, see, there's no, I think you just hit it on the head. There's no pressure on you in the dream to perform. Orgasms are like fame and fortune. When chased directly, they become very elusive. One of the things that I recommend you concentrate on is the pleasure in the moment. Enjoy every stroke, every amount of pleasure you can, and don't worry about where it's taking you. And if you enjoy what you're feeling enough and focus on that, orgasms come by themselves. But if you try to force them, then it's going to get harder. And a lot of times, you'll notice a guy, when he starts out, he's really feeling what's going on. You're really connected. And then you feel him shift gears, and he starts driving for your orgasm. And that, women usually do one or two things at that point. They either try to help him or they just go the heck with it and give up.

19:42 Drew What's, who's on the tonight show tonight? Yes.

19:44 Adam And it's, for women, it, like I said, it's such an emotional experience, their orgasm, that the minute they start losing their focus and trying to be concerned about the guy and help him along and worry about him, it's probably over for them.

20:00 Drew Did I tell you about this experience with Christina Faria and this white truffles she had that talked about this?

20:04 Adam No.

20:06 Drew I'm convinced that oxytocin...

20:07 Adam Did she put them in her?

20:08 Drew No, no, it didn't go in her. And by the way, these white truffles are like a Dr. Seuss food. They have truffle-finding pigs. Yes. That find, you know, I thought, oh my god, that's something Dr. Seuss would dream up.

20:16 Adam Truffles are the weird mushroom type things, right? They get them in like Scotland or England or something.

20:21 Drew We were doing a show on foods that cause arousal. I believe oxytocin is a big, big thing for women. And she smelled this stuff that basically smells like placenta to me. That's really what it smells like. And she goes, oh my god, my uterus is contracting, my breast contracting, it makes me have this arousal. And I thought, I mean, that's all oxytocin, all this stuff. And so I wondered the extent to which men need to pay attention to those experiences that allow women to have those kinds of connected bonding experience that allow that hormone to flow.

20:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz She is a very highly, what we call, Timess woman. I mean, you walk in the room with her and it's just, it's not that she's directing it. Justina Ferrari? Yeah, she's not.

21:00 Adam She's horny.

21:01 Dr. Bob Schwartz She's not that she's directing it at you. She is just a very highly sexed lady. And I was really surprised to hear when she was having some problems. Did you do her, Bob? No, no, no, no, no. I think she's very faithful to her husband. That's not a problem. You're a doctor. That's never an issue.

21:20 Adam Cheating your sex doctor.

21:22 I didn't know that was in the real book.

21:24 Dr. Bob Schwartz Nobody told me that.

21:25 Drew Your husband is a great guy, too.

21:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, he is. And, and, and, and, but, but there are, there are what we call tumescence. What we, now, we never had a word for it before. And it's bored from the medical community. It means be swollen with energy, in this case, sexual energy. But there are these waves of energy for all women that come in twice a month. One right before their, their period. And the other one, the slightly smaller but still powerful right before their ovulation cycle. And then there's this giant wave that comes in every year around this time, spring.

22:00 Drew Oh, how interesting.

22:01 Dr. Bob Schwartz And if you're aware of these tumescent rises and fall of energy, you'll notice that usually, during the time of month that it's the highest, you have your biggest fights. Or, your greatest lovemaking. You really have a choice with how you use that energy, either for pleasure or for mischief. So, learning how to control that tumescent energy or build it up if it's too low, or in her case, bring it down if it's too high, is a great gift for a guy to have.

22:32 Adam You say that they have this during spring.

22:36 Drew They're going to rut, basically.

22:38 Adam Was there a mating season for human beings millions and millions of years ago?

22:43 Dr. Bob Schwartz All mammals.

22:44 Drew Females, female humans in rut.

22:46 Dr. Bob Schwartz And you'll notice spring cleaning, moving the furniture around.

22:50 Adam I got energy.

22:50 Drew Nesting.

22:52 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, you heard it, fellas. The dinner bells are ringing. If you can't get laid in April, you can't get laid, right? That's April, May, that's through, that's until when? Now, I want to let you know.

23:05 Drew Interesting point, did the birth control pill take that away?

23:09 Dr. Bob Schwartz That's interesting. That might interfere with the natural cycles.

23:13 Drew Yeah, because there's a biological anthropologist that's theorizing about this.

23:17 Dr. Bob Schwartz Wow, and lately, with the 30 million women losing their sex drive out there, that's something they used to not talk about much until the 60s.

23:28 Adam All right, we got a lot of questions to ponder tonight. Dr. Bob Schwartz is here, he's the nation's foremost sex therapist and educator, the 1 Hour Orgasm. Thank you, Drew. Is the name of the book? Where are you going, Drew? Can't wait till commercial, huh? All right, you got to actually pick the phone up while I'm talking into the mic. Just about to go out here there, Drew. Just wrapping it right up here. All right, we'll be back after this.

24:00 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

24:30 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. He is the nation's foremost sex therapist and educator. He's the author of The One Hour Orgasm, which has made the Times best selling list. And basically, you'll recognize the book when you see the picture of the chick who's having the orgasm on the cover.

24:58 Dr. Bob Schwartz I don't know if you saw on HBO in February. They actually featured my wife and I in the book. And they let us do our course on their Best of Real Sex series.

25:10 Adam Yeah, I have seen... I don't think I saw that episode, but I am familiar with the series. I have masturbated to that series many times.

25:17 Dr. Bob Schwartz It was cool.

25:17 Drew Many times.

25:18 Dr. Bob Schwartz We didn't get to use the book because for most guys, they don't like to read as much as they like to look at pictures. But they let us use our videos. So, we would show the men the video that we made for the men on how to do this Venus Butterfly technique to the woman. And then my wife would show the women how to do the Venus Butterfly technique to the men. And then we sent them home that night to do their homework. And then they came back the next morning and talked about the results.

25:44 Adam How humiliated are your kids, by the way? They're running around with this jack-off theory. My God. Have they changed your names?

25:54 Dr. Bob Schwartz You know, if you don't talk to your children, what, between the ages of 8 and 12, you lose them forever to your peers? I've heard you say that. And that just hit the nail on the head, because I lost mine a long time ago.

26:05 Caller I knew it.

26:06 Adam I knew somehow they were somewhere going, Oh, Christ, Dad. Oh, no.

26:10 Caller And then I see your dad on the real sex thing. Yeah, it was boing in this.

26:16 Adam Well, he used a cucumber. You guys look alike. I'll tell you that. All right, let's talk to Sarah, who's 19 years old. Sarah?

26:28 Hi, Adam and Drew.

26:30 Adam Say hi to Dr. Bob Schwartz, too.

26:32 Hi, Dr. Rob.

26:34 Drew What's going on there?

26:36 Well, I have a friend who I've known for about six years, and we ended up going to college in the same state. And she is now having a relationship with her coach.

26:45 Drew Are you guys at Yale? Where are you? Pardon?

26:47 I prefer not to say.

26:49 Drew There aren't too many schools in New Haven, are there? Okay.

26:52 That's true. But anyways, yes, so she's in a relationship with her coach.

26:57 At college?

26:58 Correct. And it's violating, I mean, a lot of school regulations.

27:03 Drew Right.

27:04 Adam Is her coach a guy or a girl?

27:08 I don't know.

27:09 Drew Oh, interesting. You don't know? How is it you don't know?

27:13 Adam Oh, she knows. Of course she knows.

27:15 I'm too scared to say.

27:16 Adam It's a girl, of course. It's a female coach, and you're into her, and you don't like this. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

27:26 No. Sorry, Adam. No.

27:28 Drew No, I don't get that from her.

27:30 Adam Excuse me. But yes. You don't get that?

27:32 Drew No, I don't get that from her at all. She'd be much more angry and jealous and envious.

27:38 Caller I don't know.

27:40 Drew Much more self-righteous.

27:40 Adam She'd be like, how dare they? Female coach, basketball, volleyball.

27:45 Drew No, I think they're at the same school. She's worried about her friend. They've known each other since they were kids. This isn't...

27:51 I'm the only person that she's told.

27:54 Drew For me, this is one of my pet peeves. I think that's an egregious violation of the relationship and the trust and the boundaries that physicians or teachers or therapists or government officials or presidents of companies, people in power over people beneath them, take extraordinary advantage of people beneath them.

28:13 Adam That's why you work so hard to get in that position.

28:16 Drew I understand there are people that do that.

28:17 Adam How old is this friend of yours?

28:20 Excuse me, she's 20.

28:22 Drew How old is the coach?

28:23 Over 40.

28:24 Adam All right, but her coach is some... She's a tired lesbian who's hitting in field with a fungo bat all day, and she needs some love too. And she's a softball coach. She's not a professor or anything.

28:40 Drew No, no, no.

28:40 Adam For Christ's sake.

28:41 Drew No, come on. It's still...

28:42 On top of which, her coach is in another relationship with another female who she's been in the relationship with for about eight years.

28:49 Drew Beautiful.

28:51 Caller So everybody's cheating on everybody.

28:54 Drew Was your friend lesbian before all this?

28:56 Caller No.

28:56 Drew This is a new thing, lesbianism.

28:58 Caller Yes. And if you ask her what her sexuality is, she says that she's straight.

29:06 Drew Has she always been confused? Did she have a pretty traumatic past?

29:10 Caller No, actually, she's lived a very normal lifestyle. I mean, she's very well off, comes from a good Catholic family. And I mean, nothing has happened to her.

29:18 Adam OK, well, can you talk to her?

29:21 Caller I tell her she's stupid.

29:23 Adam Yeah, well, that's probably why she doesn't like talking to you.

29:25 Drew Well, she's just been taken advantage of. And it's not healthy for her.

29:29 Adam It doesn't sound like you two are that tight anyway. I mean, why don't you just let it go? She's a 20 year old woman. She's making some decisions. They may not be the best, but they're probably not going to kill her. And what the hell do you care? You guys have drifted apart.

29:43 Drew And I'm more concerned about this woman who's taking advantage of her students. That's a serious issue to me. All right. Well, you may feel an obligation to report it, too.

29:53 Adam You know, here's my one question about softball at the collegiate level and professional level for ladies. What's up with the visor? They don't wear a baseball hat. They wear that visor thing. And I think to myself, here's your chance to really wear a baseball hat. You're playing baseball, essentially. A woman's softball uniform consists of shorts, which seems like a mistake because every time they slide, they skin their knees off, and a visor.

30:23 Drew But they got more hair up there, right? You're going to now put a cap on top of that?

30:27 Adam Pull it through that little space in the back.

30:29 Drew There's already more thickness. It's going to be hotter than hell with a hat on.

30:33 Adam Hotter than hell? Baseball players have been wearing baseball hats for a million years. Why would you screw with that? They look like they work at a wiener schnitzel with that funky visor they wear. I don't understand the visor in women's softball. That's the first thing I would address. Noted. Then, I might talk to the, I don't know.

30:54 Drew So first address the uniform code, then talk to the Dean of Students.

30:58 Adam Right. That's priority. All right.

31:00 Drew Noted.

31:01 Adam All right. Veronica?

31:02 Hey.

31:03 Adam You're 22.

31:04 Caller I'm 22.

31:05 Adam What's up?

31:06 Caller Well, I just wanted to say to Dr. Bob, I have his book and it's really good. And I bought it more because I was interested in prolonging my orgasms when I'm masturbating. And so you can use it like in that sense, not only to please your partner.

31:19 Drew What made that occur to you? That you needed to pro- what made it occur?

31:22 Caller Well, I bought it because the title was so great.

31:24 Drew But were you already looking for prolonging orgasm?

31:27 Caller Yeah.

31:28 Drew What made that occur to you? What was going on that made you think, gee, this should go longer?

31:32 Caller Well, I was just getting there really quickly and I wanted to slow it down and make it last longer and have like multiple orgasms.

31:38 Adam And now have you applied this with a partner?

31:41 Caller No, I've kind of tried but it doesn't always work out. It's hard to tell a partner, you're doing this really wrong.

31:47 Drew No, no, no, guys appreciate that. I swear to God, wouldn't you say Adam? I mean, it's how you do it, but guys want to be guided to the right place.

31:58 Adam Right. It's a kind of pin the tail on the donkey. It's a cold, warm, burning, burning, you're on the surface of the sun. But it's not like, no, that's wrong.

32:08 Drew Yeah, you suck. Yeah.

32:10 Adam It's just like...

32:11 Dr. Bob Schwartz That's a good way to put it, Adam. That chapter we call the training cycle. It's kind of like pin the tail on the donkey. It's the way women give men information that's really more critical than so much what they're saying. You don't want to say, you know, that's wrong, stupid. You want to acknowledge what he's doing, he is doing it, is good. And then say, honey, would you move a quarter inch to the left? And the guy says, hey, I can do that. And then he does, and you go, oh, that's so much better. We thrive on reward, on acknowledgement. We love it. And if you learn to talk to the man, you can actually teach him how to actually do it better than you, because it's like tickling yourself. You can't really do that. And you can't really make yourself super high.

32:59 Adam And then you can't do it. You ever do that trick?

33:02 Dr. Bob Schwartz Tickle myself?

33:03 Adam Yeah, it's fun. You get really high and you tickle yourself.

33:05 Dr. Bob Schwartz I never knew that.

33:05 Drew Mushrooms, you're talking about.

33:06 Adam The only way I can tickle myself is if I take my tongue and rub it along the roof of my mouth. Or sometimes when Drew rubs his tongue on the roof of my mouth, I get that same sensation. But we, I just made myself laugh.

33:18 Drew The problem we have is that...

33:19 Adam I'm doing it now, Drew.

33:20 Drew These women wait, they're so frustrated, so angry by the time they start talking about it, that that all pours out of the guy.

33:26 Adam Right. They have been sitting around for a year and a half in a relationship, getting frustrated, faking an orgasm, not giving the guy any input. The guy has been floating further and further from the doc. They get more and more angry, and then it just comes flying out after a half bottle of Chardonnay, and the guy freaks out. This is what guys do all the time. Where'd this come from? Where's this? I always love it. I love it when a chick breaks up with a guy. I've had this happen where you just come home, and they packed up and moved out, and the guy's talking to his buddies like, what happened to shit? Bitch freaked out. I don't know.

34:07 Caller It was great. Everything was great.

34:08 Adam It was great.

34:09 Caller I swear to Christ. I said bye.

34:11 Adam I gave her a kiss. I went to work. I came home. She was gone. I have no idea. You talk to the chick, and the chick's like, this has been coming for a year now, more than a year. And I've been, and six months ago, I gave him six months. And the guy's totally blindsided because we're a little thick that way. We don't sweat those details in life, ladies. A little thick. Yeah.

34:33 Drew Completely clueless would be more accurate.

34:36 Adam It is sort of your job to...

34:38 Drew That it's unfair, but it's true.

34:41 Adam It's reality, so let's just get used to it and move on.

34:45 Caller All right.

34:46 Adam Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight.

34:48 Caller He is a...

34:49 Adam Don't go anywhere, Drew.

34:50 Caller He is the author of the nation's...

34:52 Drew All right, but, Drew, let's just wait till we go to break. I will wait for you. Don't worry.

34:56 Adam Thank you. Foremost sex therapist and educator, The 1 Hour Orgasm is the name of his book. And we'll be back with more of your questions after this.

35:04 Caller You know what I'm saying out there?

35:06 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

35:24 Caller 100.7 The Buzz.

35:31 Hi, this is Rodney Dangerfield. I'll tell you, the guys here at Loveline are the greatest and the best, the best in the whole world. Now, will you please untie me?

35:40 Adam Yeah. Life's interesting. I'll tell you a few things before. 1-800-LOVE-191. Couple of things. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. He is the author of The 1 Hour Orgasm, which can be found at the bookstores as we speak. Two things I was gonna say. One, I was listening to some very boring AM Talk radios. I drove in tonight about 9.45. I think it was Ira Fistell I was listening to. And I hope no one in our audience knows that name. And somebody called in and was just talking about names and was talking about how Arnold Schwarzenegger and Schwarzenegger, Schwartz meant black in German. And I was just listening and it really caught my interest. I was really fascinated. I don't know why. I was just listening. I was going, huh, I remember thinking about it. It was Schwarzenegger, black, black, what the? And I was talking about the guys I knew named Schwartz and I knew a sex doctor was coming in tonight. But as usual, I had not done my research at all. And it turned out to be Bob Schwartz. And so there's a Schwartz payoff 10 minutes later. And earlier tonight, I was at the American Comedy Awards and Paul VerKamen from CNN, our friend, our entertainment reporter friend from CNN was talking to me. And he said, So, still the worst guest, Rodney? And I said, What do you mean, Rodney? And he said, I said, Who are you talking about? I said, Rodney Dangerfield. He said, That was your worst guest. And I said, Yes, you are so right. And an hour and a half later, there's the Rodney Dangerfield drop, which we haven't heard in two years. It's not crazy, incredible, write a book about it kind of stuff. It's just those weird little little connections in life. Two things sort of prominent in the last two hours of the evening come right to me as I sit here at Loveline. All right, let's talk to Pablo, who's 15. Pablo?

37:45 Caller Hey, first of all, just a message to all the Children of America. Whether you're motorcycling, shooting some hoops, or masturbating, use Man Show Deodorant.

37:54 Oh, hey, thank you.

37:56 Adam Thank you, 110%. Hey, he's just quoting a little Man Show bit.

38:00 Caller All right. Yeah, Man Show Deodorant.

38:03 Adam Specifically designed for the chronic masturbator.

38:06 Drew Nice.

38:06 Adam Thank you.

38:07 Drew Pablo, you had something a little more to the point?

38:12 Caller All right, here's the deal. Four days ago, the area between my testicles and my anus started to leak this kind of pus that smells like blood.

38:23 Drew You mean you have a wound there, or something was coming out of your anus?

38:27 Caller No, it's a wound, like the area is red and inflamed, but I'm not quite sure what it is.

38:34 Drew You can have lymphatic drainage from that area, and you can have pus, so you can get an infection. Maybe you can't see what's there. Maybe there's an infection, a boil or something.

38:43 Caller It's like kind of red and raw, like almost like a...

38:47 Drew Yeah, but there's probably something more in there, and it's probably draining out of whatever abscess cavity...

38:51 Adam That's where your body's stuffing seam is. I'm no doctor.

38:57 Drew Be careful if the seam starts opening, then the whole thing will unravel and you'll just go right out.

39:02 Adam I'm not saying your bowels will fall out from underneath you, but there's a seam in men that goes from the bottom base of the penis, right? Basically the front top of the testicles down around the bottom of the testicles and follows along the contour to the anus. And that's like... To me, if you wore a pillow, that's where you would have been stuck.

39:25 Caller I don't know what that is.

39:26 Adam Why do we need that there? Why do we need that seam joint there? It's nowhere else on your body, that seam.

39:33 Drew Yeah.

39:33 Adam It runs right in its...

39:35 Drew You know why?

39:35 Adam Down the middle of it.

39:37 Drew Because that's... We start out with labia, and that's where they fold together and seal.

39:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz Grow together. Yeah. Nice.

39:44 Adam Yeah, that little seam once in a while can get a little irritated down there. Yeah?

39:48 Drew Too much information, Adam.

39:50 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, not on me, but I've read studies.

39:53 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, a little seam. So that's where your labia was, huh?

39:59 Drew That's where your labia was. You may still, you coax that apart. You may have a vagina there. Good times.

40:06 Adam Go digging for that tonight when I get home. Get out that big wooden spoon and see if I can't find the inner vagina.

40:13 Dr. Bob Schwartz Ron?

40:14 Hi.

40:14 Adam You're 26. What's up?

40:16 Caller Yeah, I'm just concerned that I'm not satisfying my life because I've been with there for almost four years now and I don't last very long.

40:27 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah.

40:29 Adam How long do you last?

40:30 Caller Oh, there's times where I'll last maybe two minutes, but most of the time I last just like seconds.

40:37 Adam No, that's not nice. And it's always been this way in the relationship?

40:44 Caller Pretty much.

40:45 Dr. Bob Schwartz All right.

40:46 Adam Dr. Bob, what do you think?

40:47 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, two ways to handle it. One is to learn how to gratify her first. And then it doesn't really matter how long it takes you.

40:56 Drew This is the basic technique we adhere to here at Loveline.

40:59 Adam Yeah. I even distill it down more, which is just go down on her because the clock starts when you get down there. Takes you 30 seconds orgasm. You stay down there for 15 minutes. You made it almost 16 minutes.

41:13 Dr. Bob Schwartz But still, I find in my research that most guys don't know what they're really doing when they get down there.

41:19 Adam Aha.

41:20 Dr. Bob Schwartz So.

41:21 Adam Well, let's talk about some techniques when you're down there performing oral sex.

41:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, first of all, there are three steps basically. One, you want to know where those nerve endings are. You want to know where the clitoris is.

41:36 Drew Which I think most guys don't know. They really don't know.

41:39 Dr. Bob Schwartz And even if they do know where it is, they don't know exactly where on the clitoris the most nerve endings are located.

41:46 Adam You see, I'm like most guys in that I don't know where the clitoris is, but I do a sort of carpet bombing technique. You know, it's not the smart bob. I just take out the whole goddamn city with my tongue.

41:58 Drew That's nice.

41:59 Adam Yeah. I look at it. I fear we'll get them all. Yeah.

42:02 Caller I always think that I know I've always satisfied her first, but I just wonder, I don't know if she wants to have that for longer or what.

42:11 Drew This is for Adam's sake.

42:12 Adam Well, I don't want to look at that. No. Where it drew just got out the anatomy book. Dr. Bob, even on the clitoris or the clitoris, as we like to call it here, where are most of the nerve endings?

42:27 Dr. Bob Schwartz Most women will argue with you and tell you it's on their right side. The reason is most women are right handed. That's the side that's gotten the most exercise and it's the most developed.

42:39 Drew They also dress to one side or the other just like a man.

42:42 Adam With their...

42:43 Dr. Bob Schwartz No.

42:43 Drew Of course not.

42:44 Dr. Bob Schwartz But if you're a guy...

42:45 Drew Adam, class.

42:46 Adam Since when do you have a sense of humor?

42:48 Dr. Bob Schwartz But if you're a guy and you're looking right at her genital area, looking at the clitoris and imagine it's a clock. At one o'clock there's a little hood and if you push it back very, very gently, there's a little ridge underneath it. Wait a minute.

43:04 Adam One o'clock is to her left. Yeah.

43:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz It'll be her left.

43:07 Adam You just told us the right side.

43:08 Dr. Bob Schwartz That's her right side. She feels it's the most sensitive. I know.

43:13 Adam But why are we working toward one? We should be working toward 11.

43:16 Dr. Bob Schwartz I'm telling the guy from his point of view, from his point of view, she'll think it's, she'll think it's on... One o'clock. Yeah. At 11 o'clock, from his point of view. But it's actually at one o'clock, from his point of view.

43:33 Adam All right. Wait a minute.

43:35 Dr. Bob Schwartz She's looking at the clock upside down.

43:37 Adam Well, she doesn't get to look at a clock. Her vagina has just become a clock.

43:43 Dr. Bob Schwartz No. Her clitoris.

43:44 Adam No. Okay. But let's make the vagina clock. Okay.

43:47 Dr. Bob Schwartz All right.

43:49 Adam Okay. I'll be the little hand, not the big one. Now, you're looking at the vagina clock.

43:54 Dr. Bob Schwartz Right.

43:54 Adam You want to go to one o'clock or you want to go to 11 o'clock?

43:58 Dr. Bob Schwartz You're going to be way off because, see, the clitoris is up higher and a lot smaller and one-

44:03 Adam Well, let's call the clitoris 12 midnight.

44:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah.

44:06 Adam Okay.

44:07 Drew It's called the hook you're hanging the clock from.

44:09 Adam Okay.

44:09 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah. You've got to get real, real tiny here, because if you got to go up and move your clock to her clitoris, because it's so small and there's so many very tiny distinctions there that if you're using the vagina clock, it's like you can't even see it. You can't even see it move before you get to the right place.

44:30 Adam Are you questioning the vagina clock?

44:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz No.

44:32 Drew I think this way he's driving is very important because we should be looking at this tiny, tiny little area that's basically the size of my pinky finger.

44:41 Adam Is it's own clock like a chronometer? Yes.

44:44 Drew The landscape of the moon. You understand what I'm saying? It's a sea of tranquility in there.

44:48 Caller It's big.

44:49 Adam I mean, look at it.

44:50 Drew Lots of different things we got to figure out here.

44:52 Adam All right. But still, I want to stick with the clock here so we can find our way around the vagina. Let's put the vagina on the face of a clock and let's make midnight the clitoris.

45:03 Dr. Bob Schwartz That's the clitoris.

45:04 Adam Now, is the idea to work toward one o'clock if you're that side of the clitoris or the 11 o'clock side?

45:13 Dr. Bob Schwartz The best way with the vagina clock is to find the clitoris at 12 o'clock. Then once you find it, make it a tiny clock inside the clock and look for one o'clock on the clitoris.

45:26 Adam Okay, but we're saying the same thing. Yeah, you're saying just go one click to the right 12 midnight.

45:35 Dr. Bob Schwartz From your point of view as a guy. Sure. Okay. Then find there's a little hood there and you push it back and there's a little ridge right underneath it. If you aim for that place, that's where you can actually give her the most intense sensations for the longest period of time.

45:53 Adam You understand, my tongue is a big bulbous fleshy thing. It's not the end of a number two pencil.

46:00 Drew Most women talk about using the flat part of the tongue there.

46:03 Adam Right.

46:06 Drew And you can pull back with further upstream.

46:12 Adam I'm still confused as far as Dr. Bob goes, which is the left side. To me, that's still the left side of a woman as she's lying down. I thought you said the right side.

46:23 Dr. Bob Schwartz From your point of view, it's on the right side. Right.

46:25 Adam OK. But you said most women are right-handed. And the right side of a fatorist is more sensitive.

46:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz So 11 o'clock gets the most stimulation, or 9 to 11 gets the most stimulation with most women. Because they exercise that part the most often by themselves.

46:42 Adam So we should not then focus on that part.

46:45 Dr. Bob Schwartz They'll just, at first, they may think that's the most sensitive place. But if you train this one o'clock place, it will become her favorite spot.

46:54 Adam I see. OK.

46:55 Dr. Bob Schwartz But to answer his question, and I'm glad you're already satisfying her first, you want to last longer. You want to be able to have her have orgasms through intercourse, which is every man's goal. Like that's really important to guys.

47:11 Adam Right.

47:12 Dr. Bob Schwartz That means something.

47:13 Drew Not to women, interestingly.

47:14 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, no. Not to women, but to guys. That's so important. And in order to do that, you need to not only last longer, you've got to make sure you're giving her enough direct stimulation. I've heard several sex experts say this before, that 70% of women can't have orgasms through intercourse without direct stimulation. No woman can have orgasms without direct stimulation. Just like no guy can have orgasms without direct stimulation. But most guys think that the woman's most sensitive spot is deep inside her vaginal canal. I think this is from watching pornography. And they think that it's somewhere a little bit out of range. So if they go a little faster and harder, they'll eventually hit it.

48:02 Adam That's the proverbial vagina on a stick.

48:05 Drew But when we get back, we're going to talk about what you do do.

48:08 Adam I'm not sure whether to get horny or not. My balls are confused.

48:14 Caller I've got to be honest with you.

48:15 Drew For my sake, settle down.

48:17 Adam No?

48:17 Drew Take a deep breath.

48:19 Adam I'm thinking about it.

48:21 Drew All right. Stay on the contemplative phase.

48:23 Adam Dr. Bob Schwartz is here, the sex expert. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

48:30 Caller Uh, back in a minute.

48:56 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. He is the author of The One Hour Orgasm. Dr. Bob is the nation's foremost sex therapist and educator, and they've really gotten to the bottom of a couple of vaginas tonight.

49:16 Drew Yeah, he has a website too.

49:18 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, it's helpmedoctorbob.com.

49:22 Drew One word.

49:23 Dr. Bob Schwartz All one word.

49:24 Drew Dr. DR?

49:25 Dr. Bob Schwartz DR, B-O-B, no periods. And we've got something free for all your listeners. I find out guys mostly aren't real romantic when it comes to after the honeymoon period. So we came out with a Venus Butterfly newsletter that we send out every Friday with one or two tips that we want you to just try out next weekend.

49:47 Drew Here's what they had to do, send out email on your behalf to your lover, very romantic, amusing. Yes. There you go.

49:54 Adam Cut out the middleman.

49:55 Drew Yeah, we'll give you our signature.

49:58 Adam We'll give you her work address or something. Send it right over there. Maybe some flowers.

50:03 Dr. Bob Schwartz And then she can do it to you. We set it up where either partner can actually initiate. And it's free to all your listeners for the next year. If they just go to the website, help me, Dr. Bob, and sign up for the newsletter.

50:19 Adam All right, Drew, you don't want to help that, do you? As far as what? Well, I mean, you and I, sexually, we're like some of the heroin addicts you see who aren't interested in quitting. You know what I mean? Like we know it's bad. We know it's killing us, but sorry, we got a little more to go here. We're just not ready to quit.

50:39 Drew What are you talking about?

50:41 Adam With our just sort of lax, lazy, sexual lifestyle. You want to get better sexually?

50:47 Drew No, I already work at it. The problem, my problem.

50:49 Adam You do?

50:49 Drew Oh yeah.

50:50 Adam Well, you know what? Drew is a very passionate, passionate man.

50:55 Drew My problem is I can't seem to get the romantic thing right. Whatever the needs for connection, communication.

51:02 Adam Right. You're going to hump the bejesus out of somebody, but you just can't get the flowers, the rose petals, the trail leading to the top.

51:10 Drew And I really have good intentions about it.

51:12 Adam You know why? Because you're like me. You would start laughing in the middle of even thinking about it.

51:19 Caller Right.

51:20 Drew Cringing. It feels like the roof of the mouth. Yeah.

51:23 Adam It feels so corny and insincere.

51:26 Caller Yes. Like a just bad hallmark card.

51:28 Drew Yes. I feel like phony.

51:32 Adam Yeah.

51:32 Drew Like insincere is a great word for it.

51:34 Adam But it's like when you see these celebrities like Kathie Lee Gifford hawking something on late night TV and you just cringe like you just go, oh man, how can they, how can they do that? I don't know why this just popped in my head.

51:48 Drew And guys that really get into the giving the flowers and stuff, don't trust them. They're up to something.

51:52 Caller I don't trust them either. Very good point.

51:55 Dr. Bob Schwartz My wife has a suggestion for you. She taught me. She told me after a while, she said, Bob, don't try to surprise me anymore. I always have to pretend I like it. And then that's a big strain. Here's what we're going to do from now on. I'm going to tell you exactly what I want you to do. And then I'm going to forget I told you. And I'm going to be so happy when you do it because it's going to be exactly what I want.

52:22 Drew Okay, I'm going home. I want directions. That's it. Seriously.

52:26 Adam Drew, your wife's motto is she's not going to tell you anything and be pissed when you do nothing. Isn't that more her angle?

52:35 Drew No, she tells me. I just don't seem to get it right.

52:38 Adam Yeah.

52:39 Drew I can't keep it up sufficiently.

52:41 Adam I got no energy. Like I said, I don't know. There's a few things in life that just make me cringe in that rose petals to the tub with the candles around. It just does it to me. It just feels like flat out BS. Because I'm so uninterested in doing it. I really am. It has nothing to do. I'm only doing it for them. Maybe that's what they want, but it just doesn't feel right. It's like going to a funeral of some guy you don't know and didn't like and making yourself cry.

53:13 Drew And eulogizing.

53:13 Adam And rubbing an onion on your face. You can bring some tears up.

53:19 Dr. Bob Schwartz Oh boy, Drew.

53:20 Adam We can't wait for Valentine's Day.

53:22 Drew Well, no, that's why I stress about Valentine's Day because I can't get it right. I want to do it right. Your wife should get the clamp down. I'm stressing about Mother's Day now.

53:33 Adam Oh, really? Oh, you got to do something with your wife, yeah. What is that? Shouldn't everyone just take care of their own mom for Mother's Day?

53:40 Drew I've got little kids that have to take care of that.

53:41 Adam So you got to go buy your wife presents and then sign the kids names on it.

53:46 Drew They'll do it. But they have to go out and figure out what that something should be. And I'm so lame.

53:52 Adam But couldn't you just really give the kids 40 bucks to go get their own crap? I mean, think how sincere that would be.

53:58 Drew Yeah, I did that last year.

53:58 Adam They bought, like, Come back with some Nintendo.

54:00 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, thank you.

54:04 Drew Here you go, Ma.

54:05 Adam Enjoy. Hey, Ma, you done with that?

54:07 Thank you.

54:08 Adam We'll be in the den. All right. Kara?

54:12 Yeah?

54:13 Adam You're 15. What's up?

54:15 Caller My breast size is, like, really left-sided. I have, like, a B cup and one's, like, a C cup.

54:23 Drew That's very common. And you're still 15. There may be some equalizing. Uh, and so to have different symmetry, to have the nipples pointing in different directions, to have different sizes, very, very common. And if after the age of 18 or so, you're still troubled by this, there are plenty of plastic surgeons out there that are ready to help you.

54:42 Caller Can, um, like, can I get, like, uh, one, like, a reduce?

54:47 Drew It depends on... Usually, I think they build up one more than reduce one.

54:50 Caller Really?

54:51 Adam Well, I guess it depends where you're at. I mean, if one's an A and the other's a B, they probably build it.

54:56 Drew But again, that would be a question for plastic surgeon.

54:58 Adam All right.

54:59 Caller Kara?

54:59 Adam You're 15.

55:00 Drew Don't worry about it right now.

55:01 Adam I know, I know, at 15, it's hard not to worry about anything that has to do with your physicality, but don't worry about it. We get this call all the time. People seem to even out. Okay?

55:11 Caller Okay. And Adam?

55:12 Adam Yeah?

55:13 Caller You have, like, surpassed Fred Durst on my notebook.

55:16 Drew Wow.

55:17 Caller Like, number one.

55:18 Drew Are you... Wait, wait, wait.

55:19 Adam Writing my name on your notebook, huh?

55:20 Drew Kara, are you... Is he on your shoes?

55:23 Caller Yes.

55:23 Drew Oh!

55:24 Caller That's great.

55:25 Adam That is huge. That is huge. Dr. Bob, it has always been my dream to have kids write my name on their shoes. You know, on the side of the vans there, that white stripe.

55:36 Drew It's really quite gratifying to be working with a man that has achieved his lifelong dream.

55:40 Adam Yeah, that and a peachy folder.

55:41 Drew Yeah, he's been so much happier and fulfilled ever since the first call such as that came through.

55:47 Adam I can rest finally. Angie.

55:50 Dr. Bob Schwartz Hi.

55:51 Adam Hey, you're 42. What's up?

55:53 Dr. Bob Schwartz Adam, Dr. Drew. I love you guys. I listen to you guys every night. Hey, I have a question. I have a huge clitoris and I'm very horny every day of my life. I just want to know, is this normal? I'm very stimulated every day.

56:08 Adam Hey, Angie.

56:09 Dr. Bob Schwartz Which part? The huge clitoris or being horny every day? Both. Yeah, I think you're just a highly to mess woman, which is every man's dream.

56:18 Dr. Bob Schwartz I know I'm Greek, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

56:21 Dr. Bob Schwartz No. The large clitoris, women have different sizes just like men have different sizes.

56:27 Dr. Bob Schwartz Right.

56:28 Dr. Bob Schwartz But it doesn't make any differences for us feeling. You have the same number of nerve endings that every other woman has. You make it easier on guys to find your clitoris. Yeah. Some women, they're so tiny, that guys really have to squint to see them.

56:43 Adam Again, the carpet bombing. I have what I look at as a large clitoris too down there. Oh yeah.

56:49 Drew At least that's how you make yourself feel better by describing it that way.

56:52 Adam Well, that way I can be big.

56:53 Dr. Bob Schwartz Adam, you're too funny.

56:54 Adam Yeah. How big is your clitoris? I don't know.

56:57 Dr. Bob Schwartz I had never measured it. It's just a really good size.

56:59 Drew Put that on a card please.

57:00 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, I know a lot of the men always make comments about it and they really like it.

57:05 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, what would, you know, average would be?

57:08 Adam Settle down. Settle down. Average would be, let's say, size of a pea. Would that be about right?

57:15 Drew Fingernail.

57:16 Adam Fingernail? Dr. Bob?

57:19 Dr. Bob Schwartz Probably the first notch in a finger.

57:20 Dr. Bob Schwartz We've actually measured them to see the difference, but we were mostly interested in the difference between them when they were unarroused and when they were excited because a woman's clitoris is like a man's penis. In fact, when she gets turned on, it extends, and it goes, instead of up, it goes down toward her vaginal opening.

57:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz Right, because when I get stimulated, mine gets huge.

57:44 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, and then, and that's, you probably orgasm pretty easily through intercourse, don't you?

57:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, I don't. You don't? This is another thing I was, I wanted to...

57:52 Adam Well, hold on, hold on, Angie, calm down over there. Would you just relax for a second?

57:56 Dr. Bob Schwartz Okay.

57:56 Adam I want to know about what size an average clitoris is. You measured them, didn't you?

58:02 Dr. Bob Schwartz I have? No.

58:03 Adam Hold on a second. Angie's like too insane. I got to put her on hold for a second. I said the size of a pea. Now, to me, that's the sort of maybe bulb at the end, like what would be the head of the male penis, I guess. But the clitoris is what shape? Is it finger shaped or is it sort of bulbous shape? Like a penis.

58:23 Dr. Bob Schwartz It has a shaft with a little shiny head on it.

58:26 Adam Right.

58:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz No hole in it.

58:27 Adam And the shaft is how long? Approximately. Jesus, you're the vagina doctor.

58:33 Dr. Bob Schwartz Like you say, about a half an inch. A finger nail. Yeah, long.

58:38 Adam Three-eighths of an inch?

58:39 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah.

58:39 Adam And around just like your pinky finger?

58:41 Dr. Bob Schwartz I know, smaller.

58:42 Adam Yeah, that's what I would assume. Okay, I'm just trying to get a bearing here.

58:46 Dr. Bob Schwartz Probably smaller than most pens.

58:48 Drew Number two pencil?

58:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah.

58:49 Adam Okay, the eraser part of a number two pencil. Right. Okay, that's a good reference. Now, this is going to take about a day and a half. So, everyone hang tight, but buckle in. Angie?

59:02 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yes?

59:03 Adam How big is your clitoris, let's say, and just give us a rough estimate when you're aroused?

59:10 Dr. Bob Schwartz Probably the first notch on my first finger.

59:14 Drew On your index finger?

59:15 Dr. Bob Schwartz Right.

59:16 Adam So, it's like a long grape, let's say.

59:20 Dr. Bob Schwartz So, about twice the size of a fingernail.

59:22 Drew Right. Did this suddenly enlarge or has it been this way ever since puberty?

59:26 Dr. Bob Schwartz It's been this way ever since, for years, yeah.

59:29 Drew Since puberty? And do you ever take any medications?

59:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz No.

59:33 Drew Nothing?

59:33 Dr. Bob Schwartz No.

59:34 Drew You ever had any medical problems?

59:35 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, no dope, nothing.

59:37 Drew Okay.

59:37 Dr. Bob Schwartz No drinking, no drugs, nothing.

59:39 Drew No, I'm not going down that path. I won't even go to steroids or anything like that.

59:41 Adam And, but yet you can't have an orgasm readily through?

59:45 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, I can't. No, just orally I can.

59:49 Adam Right.

59:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz I seem to only go for men that are really well-endowed.

59:54 Adam I see.

59:54 Drew And that works for you?

59:56 Caller Yeah, that's the only thing.

59:59 Adam Is it the sensation or the visual part of it?

1:00:03 Dr. Bob Schwartz Sensation.

1:00:06 Drew Sorry, Adam.

1:00:07 Adam Yeah, I'm angry now. I'm very hostile. How do you know when a guy has a big penis?

1:00:12 Dr. Bob Schwartz How do I know?

1:00:14 Adam No, I mean before you see his penis.

1:00:17 Drew How do you know that's somebody you want to date?

1:00:19 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, I don't know. I've been with a few before that were really small and they never heard from me again. I'm just, I really lose interest. I go over well-endowed men.

1:00:28 Adam Hey, Angie, what's going on in the background there, goofball?

1:00:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz I'm playing my poker video machine.

1:00:34 Adam Okay. All right. So is this all normal then?

1:00:37 Dr. Bob Schwartz I'm not a freak?

1:00:37 Drew You're not a freak.

1:00:38 Adam Yeah, you are kind of a freak. I'm going to hang up on you.

1:00:40 Drew Not for the reasons you're concerned about.

1:00:42 Adam I'm playing a goddamn video poker while you're talking on national radio show.

1:00:46 Caller You can't set the thing down.

1:00:48 Adam And listen, Angie was a nut job. And I don't know why this is. And hope Dr. Bob doesn't take any offense with this. But women especially, not all men, but most women who are really sort of obsessed sexually, you scratch beneath the surface a little, and there's nut job right there. And I don't know why that is. And it's a little bit of a curse. And as a society, we wish there were women who were just horny like guys and who enjoyed a big penis. And what's wrong with that? But you know, Angie's a handful and a nut job, right?

1:01:22 Caller Yeah, all right.

1:01:25 Adam Isabella, yeah, you're 16.

1:01:28 Caller Yeah.

1:01:29 Adam What's up?

1:01:30 Caller Well, lately I've been having trouble like orgasming. And if I like I do, it's like really bad. And I don't know what's wrong.

1:01:41 Adam What do you mean bad?

1:01:42 Caller Like unsatisfying.

1:01:44 Caller It's like a really, you know, crappy one. It just doesn't make me happy.

1:01:49 Adam How do you know you're having it if it's really crappy one?

1:01:52 Drew You'll come to experience this kind of as you get older.

1:01:54 Caller I will.

1:01:55 Adam Well, personally, personally.

1:01:57 Drew Well, I know men get that.

1:01:59 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:02:00 Adam I've had that like, you know, I got a 12 pack in me. I'm going to beat one out before I hit the hay penis flopping all over the place. I don't even remember the next day.

1:02:10 Drew It's not so much that it's unsatisfactory. You feel guilt and disgust when you do it, Adam. That's the problem.

1:02:15 Caller Huh?

1:02:17 Adam Isabella?

1:02:18 Caller Yeah.

1:02:19 Adam You got a boyfriend?

1:02:21 Caller Yeah, but he lives far away. So.

1:02:24 Drew Well, are you on any medication?

1:02:26 Caller No.

1:02:27 Drew You sure?

1:02:27 Caller Yeah. Why?

1:02:28 Drew Birth control pill?

1:02:29 Caller No.

1:02:30 Drew Nothing.

1:02:31 Caller I don't see him that much.

1:02:32 Drew So we're wondering why suddenly this became a problem.

1:02:35 Caller Well, what do you mean?

1:02:37 Drew Well, it's a recent problem, right? That the orgasm has become less.

1:02:41 Caller It's been like a month or two now.

1:02:43 Drew Have you been depressed?

1:02:44 Caller Kind of, yeah.

1:02:45 Drew Are you sleeping okay?

1:02:47 Caller Yeah.

1:02:49 Adam If you're a woman and you're depressed, you're either going to have horrible orgasms or just crazy insane orgasms. But neither one will be organic. Yeah. Isabella, how often do you see your guy?

1:03:03 Caller Once or twice a month.

1:03:05 Adam How far away does he live?

1:03:07 Caller Four hours.

1:03:08 Adam I see. How old is he?

1:03:10 Caller He's 19.

1:03:12 Adam 16. Calling from Bakersfield. I haven't spoken to anyone from Bakersfield that wasn't depressed, by the way. Not one. They're all miserable over there. Yeah, everyone hates it. The mayor of Bakersfield, I interviewed him last week. He told me the town sucked. The guy from the Rotary Club in Bakersfield said the town was a piece of ass. Everyone hates that town. Listen, get out of there.

1:03:40 Drew Are you sure you're not on any supplements or anything that might be affecting you biologically?

1:03:45 Caller No.

1:03:45 Drew Nothing?

1:03:46 Caller I used to have really good ones, and it's like I can't now. It's really hard.

1:03:51 Adam Well, why don't you focus on your depression and forget about your orgasm?

1:03:56 Drew What has changed in this last month for you?

1:03:59 Caller Nothing.

1:03:59 Drew Any chance you're pregnant?

1:04:01 Caller No.

1:04:01 Adam Okay.

1:04:02 Caller I've got my period like a week ago.

1:04:04 Adam Isabella?

1:04:05 Caller Yeah?

1:04:05 Adam Let me give you a couple good words of advice. A, you will get pregnant eventually without using birth control.

1:04:13 Caller I use a condom.

1:04:15 Adam All right. But I still, I smell it on you. I smell pregnancy trouble.

1:04:19 Drew Keep the emergency contraception around if you're just using condom.

1:04:22 Adam All right. And then get your grades up, do well in school, and go to some college far away from Bakersfield, all right?

1:04:30 Caller Okay.

1:04:31 Adam Meanwhile, just replace orgasm with depression and focus on that. Because I guarantee you when you're in a better way, emotionally, the orgasms will be better.

1:04:43 Caller All right.

1:04:43 Adam All right. Good times there, baby.

1:04:45 Caller Bye.

1:04:46 Adam Drew, you disagree with that?

1:04:47 Drew No, I'm with you. I'm with you.

1:04:49 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:04:50 Adam Someone's going to come from Bakersfield and try to kill me, right?

1:04:54 Drew I mean, eventually. No, they're too depressed.

1:05:00 Adam I really just don't think there's enough gas in the pickup truck to make it out to LA. Why are people living in Bakersfield? What the hell's going on over there? Listen, I want to say this. I was talking to Dr. Bob. I think I may have been yelling at for living in where some part of Houston or something before the show. All you people who live in horrible, horrible places, move.

1:05:22 Dr. Bob Schwartz Go ahead and move.

1:05:23 Caller Don't move to LA.

1:05:25 Adam But move.

1:05:26 Caller You don't know it.

1:05:27 Adam You're right in the middle of that horrible, infested swamp and you don't know it. Listen, you know, you're talking to a guy who spent his whole life in North Hollywood. Took me quite a while to realize what a dump that place was. Pick up and move. It's better for you. It really is.

1:05:43 Drew Why you bought property in North Hollywood again?

1:05:44 Adam And here's how dare you. I give back to the community.

1:05:48 Caller That's why.

1:05:50 Adam I'm interested in an outreach program I called Build a Huge Goddamn Fence and Have Everyone Leave Me Alone.

1:05:57 Drew And then have loud crazy parties.

1:05:58 Adam I'm trying to work on a catchy acronym for it, but I haven't worked it out. But the irony is, is you people who live in these crappy towns have crappy jobs. You can get a crappy job anywhere. Go to San Francisco, get a crappy job and it pays the same. Ariel? Ariel?

1:06:15 Caller Yeah.

1:06:16 Adam You're 26?

1:06:18 Caller Yeah.

1:06:18 Adam What's up?

1:06:19 Caller Okay.

1:06:21 Caller I've been having anal sex with my fiance. It's just sort of been recent. And he has been ejaculating in. And I haven't had any problems with that, but I just have been wondering if problems can occur.

1:06:38 Adam He's been ejaculating in you?

1:06:40 Caller Did you say?

1:06:42 Caller Yeah. During anal sex.

1:06:43 Adam Well, one of the problems that we've heard about on this show is that you can actually impregnate a stool.

1:06:51 Caller That you actually can grow into a giant stool sometimes. Yeah.

1:06:55 Caller Baby stooling.

1:06:57 Adam And boy, it's a mess. Because when they go number two, look out. That is bad times. Yeah. Hey, so you want to know if there's a problem with that?

1:07:10 Drew A number of these running around Bakersfield.

1:07:11 Caller I'm just wondering if there's any problems with it.

1:07:15 Drew Well, first of all, is this your little tricky way to sustain virginity?

1:07:22 Caller No. No. No, it's just I like both. I like both places.

1:07:27 Drew All right. Well, it's aside from potentially causing anal pathology, like hemorrhoids and tears and fissures and harming yourself, which can happen, it's the most efficient way to contract a sexually transmitted disease if there's any risk of that kind of thing going on here.

1:07:43 Caller Okay. There's no risk. I know that. But I was just curious if there's like any side effects or if it's just bad for that to happen or?

1:07:55 Drew I'm not sure. I just mentioned a list of things that can go wrong. What more are you looking for?

1:08:01 Adam Is she talking specifically about the ejaculating in that area?

1:08:05 Caller Yeah, that's, yeah.

1:08:06 Drew No, there's nothing special about that other than infective problems, problems with infection.

1:08:10 Adam All right.

1:08:11 Caller Okay.

1:08:11 Adam Dr. Bob, you go down this road much? The anal sex road?

1:08:15 Drew Road less traveled.

1:08:18 Adam No, not a part of your practice. Some of you are studying the Institute or anything like that.

1:08:23 Drew It's not a part of his practice.

1:08:25 Adam Yeah, well, there are a lot of women who claim that that's something that really stimulates them.

1:08:31 Drew Do you study that at all? Who is it that goes after that? Because we have a certain subset of women who in a certain group does that because the guys these days are pressuring a lot more for that. There's some sort of an aggression that they're acting out that they really are into that. Maybe pornography has made it more of a romantic idea.

1:08:51 Adam Well, I think generally the stakes have been upped. The entity has been upped.

1:08:58 Drew Young people, this is the direction they're going. And some young women claim that it's especially rousing for them. Is there anything about those people?

1:09:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz I think it's just because it's forbidden. Erotic means that you're doing something sort of outside the rules. And the more rules there are to break, the more erotic you can be.

1:09:20 Drew And yet most of them are doing that as a way of sustaining rules. Like, I'm a virgin, because I'm having an upset. And so it's like, it's not forbidden. It's like a no big deal.

1:09:31 Adam Hold on, Drew, that's an outlandish statement. Not most of them.

1:09:35 Drew No, no, no, no. If I said that I misspoke, but we talked to a lot of those.

1:09:39 Adam Yeah, we like the kid about that, but it's really a pretty small percentage of people who engage in anal sex or are doing it to keep their virginity. I would say out of all, if you took a poll of all the corn-holers, and this is why I would make a great scientist over at your institute.

1:09:59 Drew And politician, yes.

1:10:01 Adam I would say that it would be less than 10 percent that was doing it to keep their virginity.

1:10:06 Drew I would agree with that. But that's becoming a big number now though. Well, anal sex.

1:10:12 Adam Drew, please. We didn't get to break yet.

1:10:14 Caller I'm sorry.

1:10:16 Adam Dr. Bob Schwartz is here, the sex expert. He's the author of the 1 Hour Orgasm. And I may come out with a pamphlet called The 45 Second Jack Off. Maybe I could put that sort of a supplement in your book.

1:10:30 Caller We'll work that out.

1:10:32 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

1:10:37 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:10:38 Caller So get your problems ready.

1:10:40 Caller Ready, ready.

1:10:55 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:11:18 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191, Nicole Sullivan, the beautiful blonde from MAD-TV, is gonna be in here tomorrow night. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. He's the author of the One Hour Orgasm website. Go ahead, Dr. Bob.

1:11:37 Dr. Bob Schwartz helpmedoctorbob.com. The things that we found lately, though, with our new videos is that, of course, that most men don't like to read, and they like shortcuts. They like things that are easy and fun.

1:11:51 Adam Yeah, we're trying to get this show down to an hour and 40 minutes.

1:11:54 Caller Figure that out, yeah.

1:11:55 Adam Still working, though.

1:11:56 Dr. Bob Schwartz But what we did is we got some very attractive couples to volunteer to let us film them while we were...

1:12:01 Drew Bob's in.

1:12:02 Adam Yeah, it's called pornography, Dr. Bob.

1:12:04 I don't know if you've heard about that.

1:12:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, we were teaching them the Venus Butterfly technique, the One Hour Orgasm technique for the first time. And it's useful because you see the mistakes that most people make when they're learning something new, and then what happens when you correct them and they're doing it right. And women have told me that they tried this technique. A lot of times their guys aren't, like you say, lazy, and they can't seem to motivate them to do anything new or different. But one woman came up with something, and we've been using it lately, that she ordered the video. It's called, for his eyes only, How to Make Sex More Fun for Her. And she told him at work to come home and be hungry. And she met him at the door, she shoved his favorite drink in his hand, she let him into the living room, she sat him down in the chair, put his favorite meal in front of him, pushed the button on the VCR, which I think was the most important thing that she did. She walked out of the room and said, I'll be back in an hour. And at the end of an hour, she came back in, and she took him by the hand, and she led him into the bedroom, and she says, I want you to show me what you just learned. And guys love to show off when they learn something new.

1:13:19 Adam Right. If you make it into a competition or a test, they'll perk up.

1:13:24 Dr. Bob Schwartz Exactly. And when they see other guys do it, and they say, wow, I didn't know that could be done, and they want to try it out on her for the first time. So the videos actually work so much better than the book. The book's good, but it's just for guys. We just don't like to spend that much time reading and figuring stuff out like that. But you show us how to do something. It's kind of like that tool man kind of thing, you know?

1:13:50 Adam Well, I'll tell you a couple of things. I know because Drew and I are both horribly unmotivated. Many fans, it's a lie. First thing I was thinking about during the commercial is, Drew, is here's how you know we're bad. Dr. Bob bring in two tins of chocolate to give to our ladies during their Tormessin period. We polished off the first one, all right? We're going to get to Drew's tin in a couple of minutes. Drew, you'll probably eat that tin on the way home, right? Yeah. So you know you got a serious problem when the doctor presents two decorative tins of chocolates and says, give this to your ladies. And we go, yeah, sure, Bob. We immediately dig into it and we've damn near finished off the first tin. That, okay, that's all you need to know.

1:14:38 Caller Is that enough said?

1:14:40 Drew That's us.

1:14:41 Caller That's us.

1:14:42 Adam And I'll tell you how I like to look at myself sexually, Dr. Bob, and here's my problem. I look at myself as a fat, lazy, heavy weight with a good right cross, which is, this is what happens to guys. They don't train too hard, they don't put in the road work, they don't put, you know why? Because they know they got a big cross on them. And they know they still got some knockout power. And I just bring that into the bedroom. I'm like, I don't need any of that crap. I don't need it. No, no, no, no jumping rope. No sit ups. I'll take this guy out.

1:15:14 Drew And instead of using your right upper extremity, you're using your tongue.

1:15:18 Adam That's right. Knockout tongue.

1:15:20 Caller Thank you.

1:15:22 Dr. Bob Schwartz Wilson.

1:15:23 Adam Forrest?

1:15:25 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yes.

1:15:25 Adam You're 23. What's up?

1:15:28 Caller Well, I'm calling from Orange County, California. And what's up mayonnaise? Dr. Drew?

1:15:32 Adam Thank you.

1:15:32 Caller What's up?

1:15:33 Adam Where's my Maymay mayonnaise?

1:15:35 Caller Yeah.

1:15:36 Caller My question is regarding G-spot orgasms and multiple orgasms. Is there scientific evidence that would show it's totally reliant upon the woman's anatomy or is there certain techniques that can actually be done to attain these types of orgasms?

1:15:56 Dr. Bob Schwartz Most guys are confused about the woman's G-spot because they think it works like a garage door opener. You don't just push on it and it suddenly she goes into tremendous orgasm. She has to be turned on first. It's like the man's G-spot. Unless he's already turned on, when you press on it, it's not going to feel good at all. It's going to feel, to her it feels like you're pressing on her bladder trying to make her urinate when she doesn't want to.

1:16:22 Adam Where is that G-spot?

1:16:24 Dr. Bob Schwartz On the woman, it's at 12 o'clock up inside the vaginal. We use the vaginal clock.

1:16:29 Adam It's in the next room behind the clock.

1:16:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz About an inch and a half or three inches inside. You can actually feel this tiny little wrinkled nickel imprint on the roof of her vagina. She's lying on her belly.

1:16:44 Adam If you put your finger into the woman and you make a sort of hook shape with your finger, you'll find the G-spot up there.

1:16:54 Dr. Bob Schwartz If you get her into the state of orgasm and then you begin to stimulate it, it works kind of like a turbocharger on a car, like a passing gear. It kicks her into a higher speed. Now you're talking to Adam Lakers.

1:17:05 Adam Nice. Yeah. Running off.

1:17:08 Drew Put some vents on there. Keep it cool.

1:17:11 Adam Using the woman's own exhaust to propel the impeller to then force the...

1:17:17 Dr. Bob Schwartz What's more fun is the man's G-spot because if the woman learns how to actually do this one hour orgasm technique to the man and she stimulates his G-spot at the same time, she can accomplish something that is unbelievable. She can add one to three inches to his normal size. Because that...

1:17:37 Adam One to three inches?

1:17:39 Dr. Bob Schwartz You see, when we guys look down at him, and we're fully erect, we only see about half of our equipment. The other half is the root.

1:17:47 Adam Yeah.

1:17:47 Dr. Bob Schwartz And...

1:17:48 Adam Yeah.

1:17:49 Dr. Bob Schwartz And down there, the perineum, which some guys call the taint, is the access to the man's G-spot. And if she actually stimulates this at the same time she's doing the Venus Butterfly technique to him, that root, that hidden treasure, gets excited. It swells up and it pushes everything out further.

1:18:11 Adam Underneath the scrotum.

1:18:12 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yes. No, between the scrotum and the anus.

1:18:15 Caller Right.

1:18:16 Adam That's underneath the scrotum.

1:18:18 Caller All right.

1:18:18 Adam And we call that the border between scrotum, burg, and anus-ville.

1:18:24 Drew Yes, that border.

1:18:25 Adam Right on that border.

1:18:26 Drew Where your vagina was.

1:18:27 Adam And you're supposed to... Stop that crazy talk, would you? You idiot. Please, you're poisoning the young listeners. And you should massage that area in a little circular way?

1:18:39 Dr. Bob Schwartz You know, it's important that she go in the same direction that she's stroking his penis.

1:18:47 Adam Stop saying her, because I'm going to do this to myself later on, so it's confusing. I should do what?

1:18:54 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, you should go in the same direction, the same speed, the same pressure as your top hand is using.

1:18:59 Adam I see. Okay, so if my left hand is going up and down, then my right hand should go up and down in that area, too.

1:19:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, and then you're stimulating the whole penis, not only the part that's sticking out, but the root also, and then when that really gets excited and swells up, it pushes everything out. And you can take a ruler, or maybe in your case, Adam, a yardstick into the bedroom, and it marks a lot, and mark it where you normally are, and then do, you know, I don't know if you can do this to yourself. It's better if your partner does this to you.

1:19:35 Adam Well, here's the way I've done it, and there's a couple of things I gotta say. First off, because I used to be a contractor, what I do is I take a transit and I shoot an elevation of my penis, the top part of my penis. As I lie on the ground, I have a marker stick against the footboard of the bed, so I can tell definitively the length my penis grows. Number two, here's my problem with that stroke down there. I got hair down there. That's gonna be like ice skating on the Everglades, basically. I'm gonna have a tough time moving my head down there.

1:20:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz You need a lubricant.

1:20:08 Adam Ah, I see.

1:20:09 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, in both areas would be better.

1:20:12 Adam Uh-huh.

1:20:12 Drew You're a dry guy, though.

1:20:13 Adam Yeah, I'm dry up top. That's me.

1:20:15 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, I definitely recommend the lubricant in the lower area.

1:20:20 Drew What does your life become?

1:20:22 Adam Lube. OK, so lube downstairs.

1:20:24 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:20:26 Adam Could you put together like a laminated cheat sheet for me?

1:20:31 Caller I emphasize laminated.

1:20:33 Adam Something about wallet size, something I can peek at.

1:20:36 Drew I want somebody to hang on the wall there.

1:20:38 Adam Yeah, that's why I can just tape it to the top of my foot.

1:20:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, I never recommended this before, but you might watch the woman's video for the one we call For Her Eyes Only, How To Make Sex More Fun For Him, because we actually demonstrated it. I really told most guys, do not watch this video.

1:20:55 Adam Yeah, but you know, all that does is make them want to watch it.

1:20:58 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, yeah, but they'll ruin the surprise. For most guys, penises are kind of ugly. They don't really think that's... And also it can intimidate them if the other guy, the one on the screen, seems to be bigger than they are.

1:21:14 Adam Well, I know the camera adds 10 pounds, so I do the math. I deduct 10 pounds from any penis I see on screen.

1:21:21 Drew You have a couturus anyway.

1:21:23 Caller I don't care you.

1:21:24 Caller Chet?

1:21:26 Caller Yeah.

1:21:26 Adam You're 27.

1:21:28 Caller Yeah, just wondering, I like oral sex better than like normal sex, but yet it takes forever, like up to a half hour or more.

1:21:39 Adam Hold on, Drew, you want some more chocolate?

1:21:41 Drew All right.

1:21:42 Caller All right.

1:21:43 Drew Half hour more for what?

1:21:46 Dr. Bob Schwartz For him to reach orgasm, right?

1:21:47 Caller Yeah, it's like a half hour or more. And it's like, I just can't relax or I can't concentrate.

1:21:53 Adam But you like it more, right?

1:21:55 Caller Yeah, I totally like it more. I take that over sex any day.

1:21:58 Drew But it takes you longer to orgasm that way.

1:22:01 Caller Yeah, but I enjoy it more. So I just can't like, I don't know, I just can't relax or I don't know, I don't know why.

1:22:08 Adam Maybe you enjoy it more because it's prolonged and that's the reason you have a better orgasm.

1:22:16 Drew But no, he doesn't like it.

1:22:18 Caller Well, yeah, but I think I'm kind of afraid because she gets, you know, like neck cramps and you know, or I don't know, it just like takes longer and they get kind of, I'm quit maybe sometimes because, you know, taking too long.

1:22:30 Drew But you just like the idea of the whole thing.

1:22:33 Adam Well, yeah, definitely.

1:22:34 Dr. Bob Schwartz And the sensation, yeah. I'm going to tell you how you can get more oral sex. There are three ways. Number one is drink pineapple juice.

1:22:47 Adam Oh yeah?

1:22:47 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah. Changes the body fluid. Some women really complain.

1:22:51 Adam We never got a good answer on it.

1:22:53 Dr. Bob Schwartz And especially if a guy eats asparagus or beer, women tell me that that really makes the semen taste awful. But pineapple juice can sweeten it up.

1:23:03 Adam Well, I'll tell you, we've now, I hate to jump in, but I just have to. I can't help it. We've now hit number three in the trilogy, which is I was all night, I was eating asparagus. And I'm saying, I swear to Christ, at the American Comedy Awards, there's a big platter of asparagus in the back. I was eating it and I was saying to my partner, Jimmy Kimmel, I love the smell of my urine when I drink, when I eat asparagus. And he was saying, I don't like it. I don't like that. And I was just saying, I just took a leak 20 minutes ago and I was thinking, I love this asparagus urine smell. So I was, I was, I was on the asparagus thing at least five times tonight, by the way.

1:23:45 Drew And it's hard to understand the physiology of how sugar can end up in the semen unless you're spilling sugar, unless you're diabetic and spilling sugar. And that's because we actually did a test on Loveline. We actually did a controlled study years ago.

1:23:58 Adam I listened to that show and it was not on the show.

1:24:01 Drew Yeah, it was years ago. And we couldn't find any difference. They couldn't, they couldn't tell. They really couldn't tell who was who.

1:24:06 Adam But Drew, haven't we heard enough, I don't know what you would call it, anecdotal evidence from people who call in, who claim there's something to it.

1:24:15 Drew What we've heard is that they could make it go from awful to bad.

1:24:20 Adam I sure as hell believe that asparagus ain't going to be a good kind of food.

1:24:23 Drew People on medication, people using alcohol, people complain.

1:24:25 Adam Bad. Well, if you can make it bad, theoretically, wouldn't you make it better? Not good, but better?

1:24:32 Drew Yes. It's the sweet part that I'm having trouble with.

1:24:34 Dr. Bob Schwartz I see. Maybe it's the taste. Maybe it's the pineapple flavor.

1:24:38 Drew Yeah.

1:24:38 Dr. Bob Schwartz I don't know. I'm not an expert in that area.

1:24:41 Adam So we got pineapple.

1:24:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz The second one is really the most important one. Most women complain about doing oral sex to men because they say once they start they know that they've got to keep going until they finish, even after it stops being fun for them. So what I would recommend to you is insist, I know this is going to sound hard, but it's not as hard as it sounds, insist that she stop the moment it stops being fun for her, because it's going to roll over into something else, like, you know, like an intercourse.

1:25:13 Adam Oh yeah, intercourse, right.

1:25:15 Drew But a lot of guys, I'm not in the school, the guys prefer, prefer oral sex.

1:25:20 Adam Well, because you're a very, very passionate, passionate man, Drew, but I like a BJ. I do, I like my hands free, I like to relax, it feels like a procedure is being performed on me.

1:25:32 Dr. Bob Schwartz You're going to love the Venus Butterfly, because that's the third way when she learned simulated oral sex, where she can perform the Venus Butterfly technique. And with your eyes closed, you won't know what she's doing to you. All you'll know is you're feeling the most intense sensations you've ever felt in your life. And she can make you orgasm pretty much anytime she wants. When she's using this technique, she can speed it up or slow it down. I think with oral sex, there's two factors. She's not really in control of the sensations as well as she would be if she did this manually to you. And two, you probably have this mental block because you wouldn't do that to somebody else. It's almost kind of like...

1:26:16 Adam That's why I like it.

1:26:18 Dr. Bob Schwartz Well, yeah.

1:26:19 Adam I know what you're saying.

1:26:20 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, it might be like you kind of feel bad for her and that guilt is getting in the way of...

1:26:26 Adam Well, Chet, I would say the quick fix is to maybe get yourself halfway down the road by taking care of yourself and let her come in and, you know, mop up.

1:26:39 Caller That's what I like to call it.

1:26:40 Adam The fourth way to get a woman to perform oral on you is to actually put a tennis bracelet around your wrecked penis. They'll try to get at it with their teeth.

1:26:50 Caller It'll be great.

1:26:51 Caller All right.

1:26:52 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Dr. Bob Schwartz is here. He is the author of 1 Hour Orgasm, and we'll be back.

1:27:02 Caller We'll be right back.

1:27:03 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:27:22 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:27:34 Adam Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Bob Schwartz is our guest tonight. He's the author of The One Hour Orgasm. He's the nation's foremost sex therapist and educator. Drew and I were just talking during the break about what we hate about humanity.

1:27:50 Caller Systems. Systems.

1:27:51 Adam Systems. And I had a great experience Friday night. And I'll tell you, when I get screwed by somebody, it is so precious to me, because these are things I remember and stories I relate. It's worth more than whatever the item was. I was, and you know my love of the good folks that man the falafel stands and those breeds of cats. They're genuine, genuine, loving, great people. The folks that don't mix up the chicken and the rotisserie beef. They're just great folks. And I pulled into a place called the Edwazir Falafel on the way home Friday night. And like I said delightful, delightful individuals, those folks. And I said, hey, give me a falafel sandwich. And you know they're great, they're great, they're delightful. Very ingratiating, warm people. Next, next, what do you want? And I said, give me a falafel. And then I looked in my wallet, I saw I had $2 in there. I thought, oh, Christ, $2 cash. And I said, oh, wait a minute, you take credit cards. And he said, $6 minimum. And I said, okay, all right. I look up the falafel sandwich is $4.25. And just give me the falafel sandwich, charge me $6. I can't do that. Oh, I said, no, no, you misunderstand. Give me the falafel sandwich. Just charge me this minimum six. Charge me the six. That's fine. I'm in a hurry. No. And I thought, wow, wow. The folks love of saying no so much. It trumps everything else in their life, you know, even even the extra buck seventy five. And so it's great. I had a woman next to me, a young lady who was sort of the Henry Kissinger of the place. And she said she was she was waiting in line, too. She said, order a couple of baklava and pad it up. She had this sort of baklava for peace solution.

1:29:55 Caller And I said, I looked at her, I said, I know that makes sense. But no, I don't want to do that.

1:30:01 Adam Just just give me the goddamn falafel and just charge me the minimum.

1:30:06 Dr. Bob Schwartz No.

1:30:08 Adam I said, all right, well, I'll just leave. So I just left. But I thought, wow, that's a delightful, delightful businessmen there. Whoo, you're going to get rich with that attitude.

1:30:19 Caller That's great.

1:30:21 Adam Mike?

1:30:22 Yeah.

1:30:22 Adam You're 20.

1:30:23 Caller Hi. I would just like to know, why do women or why can't men have an orgasm or multiple orgasms or as long as women can?

1:30:36 Drew How many partners you have?

1:30:38 Adam One.

1:30:38 Drew Yeah. This woman has multiple orgasms. Not all women do.

1:30:43 Caller Okay.

1:30:44 Adam Are you asking in general or are you asking about your partner?

1:30:47 Caller No, my partner is fine. I'm just asking in general.

1:30:49 Drew Well, he's noticed how different she is than him.

1:30:52 Adam Is your partner multi-orgasmic?

1:30:57 Caller She does when we have sex. She has more than one.

1:30:59 Drew Oh, write that down, Adam.

1:31:01 Adam Scratch rat, scratch rat.

1:31:02 Drew When she has sex, that's when she has the multiple orgasms.

1:31:06 Caller Right.

1:31:07 Adam So, when you guys are playing Connect 4, or Marzipan, or Marjan, or something like that, no.

1:31:15 Caller No.

1:31:15 Caller I see.

1:31:16 Caller Scratch rat, scratch rat.

1:31:17 Drew Canasta may cause one, one or two.

1:31:20 Adam Hmm.

1:31:20 Caller Yeah, I just want to know, they can have more than one in the matter of...

1:31:26 Drew Some can. Some can. Not all of them can.

1:31:29 Caller I mean, not all. I mean, well, the majority.

1:31:32 Drew No. No. You're with a uniquely talented woman.

1:31:35 Caller Wow. Okay. Okay.

1:31:37 Drew That's not the majority.

1:31:38 Adam She's a keeper there, Mike.

1:31:40 Dr. Bob Schwartz Any woman can be actually trained to have multiple orgasms.

1:31:44 Adam Okay, send them to orgasm camp.

1:31:46 Dr. Bob Schwartz Orgasm school, yeah. Or even orgasms that last for up to an hour. And men can too, but you got to get rid of one notion, and that is that it's the ejaculation that's the orgasm. Here's what I want you to do, a little experiment. Next time you have an orgasm, pay attention. I know it's hard because you kind of pass out a little bit during that time, but try to stay conscious and notice that you have these contractions. You know, they start in the distance and they're kind of small and they get closer and closer until they're right in your face and they're real intense. But then, then after that comes the ejaculation and the ejaculation, what it actually feels like is like you're, I guess the best thing I could say is like you're urinating. It doesn't feel bad, it's just nothing to write home for about.

1:32:37 Caller I completely understand what you're saying.

1:32:39 Dr. Bob Schwartz Okay, so if you want to have orgasms as a man that last up to an hour, what you do is you postpone that ejaculation phase. You just enjoy the orgasmic contractions and you learn how to do two things. You learn how to intensify them so they're stronger than you've ever felt before and you learn how to actually have more than one or more than the six to nine that most guys have.

1:33:04 Caller Okay.

1:33:04 Dr. Bob Schwartz The contraction. Yeah, and if you want her to do this to you, the easiest way we teach this is in the video because nobody's going to go to a class and do this, but we show her how to do this to you and in the videos and I got to say this before we leave because all my people are standing by at the office. If you want to know about the videos or the book, they can call our toll-free number because they'll talk to them right now. Really? Can I give it out?

1:33:34 Caller Yeah, go ahead.

1:33:35 Dr. Bob Schwartz It's 1-888-696-0471.

1:33:41 Adam One more time.

1:33:42 Dr. Bob Schwartz It's 888-696-0471. And there are two videos. There's one for him to watch, one for her to watch, and then of course the book, The One Hour Orgasm.

1:33:55 Adam Let's take one more call and speak to Jesse. He's 20. Jesse? Hey. Hey. Hey.

1:34:02 Caller My question is, I guess when I ejaculate, I don't have the 6-9 contractions. I basically just ejaculate so I don't feel anything.

1:34:09 Dr. Bob Schwartz Just the big like, boom, and that's it.

1:34:12 Caller Yeah. So should I shoot myself or what?

1:34:14 Dr. Bob Schwartz No, no. You're just, you are having them. You're just not really paying a lot of attention to them. And they may be small kind of contractions. And it's something Dr. Drew was talking about. When guys have this kind of real small contractions, like their orgasms aren't that powerful. And women do this sometimes too. And sometimes as a guy, you'll have ones that are incredibly strong. They blow the top of your head off. And other times they're this little kind of squeak, you know, just small. You're probably having the lore end kind. And they're so small, you're not even acknowledging them.

1:35:00 Adam Hey, Jesse and Bob, we gotta go to break, but get that book.

1:35:05 Drew Are you on medication, Jesse?

1:35:06 Caller I know, but the thing is, I do have a form of cerebral palsy.

1:35:09 Drew I don't know if I was gonna- Yes, that definitely can, absolutely.

1:35:11 Adam Hey, the contraction is there to push the ejaculate out of you?

1:35:15 Drew Yes.

1:35:16 Adam I got a plan. I'm gonna try this when I get home. If you could force just a little compressed air down your urethra and make it more difficult for that ejaculate to get up the urethra, I'm guessing that your muscles would compensate and make the contractions more powerful.

1:35:33 Drew This is a way of doing sets with your penis.

1:35:36 Adam Right. It's like adding weight to it.

1:35:38 Drew You'd explode.

1:35:39 Adam With compressed air. I'm not talking about 120 pounds. I'm talking about 85 pounds.

1:35:44 Drew 30 psi.

1:35:45 Caller Yeah.

1:35:47 Adam All right. I'm gonna try that when we get back. We'll be back. Alright, I want to thank Dr. Bob Schwartz for coming in here and saying his piece. It was enlightening 2 hours.

1:36:22 Dr. Bob Schwartz Thank you guys, that was a lot of fun. Thank you.

1:36:24 Adam Yeah, you go on a lot of boring radio shows.

1:36:27 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, I do, I do. And you got great listeners. That's a super question.

1:36:30 Drew I particularly appreciated the Falafel story. That was the highlight of the night, Adam. That and your preoccupation with what you were going to do with yourself tonight.

1:36:38 Adam Yeah, and what about my urine? My urine has asparagus in it.

1:36:42 Drew The trilogy tonight, yes, of course.

1:36:44 Adam One Hour Orgasm, everybody. Go out, get this book. It's got nudey pictures in it and it's really going to solve all your sexual problems.

1:36:52 Drew Why don't you give the website and the phone number out one more time?

1:36:53 Dr. Bob Schwartz Yeah, the phone number 888-696-0471 and the website is www.helpmedoctorbob.com.

1:37:05 Adam Thank you, Dr. Bob. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:14 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, April 22, 2001