Episode 1000754886923

1:00 Voiceover Content listener discretion is advised. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:11 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Yeah. I've been waiting for tonight, buddy.

1:23 Drew Yeah, kick back.

1:24 Adam Yeah, relax. No guest, everybody. Just the love that the two hosts find between each other. Drew is already in a fully reclined position.

1:33 Drew I'm ready.

1:34 Adam He's got his tootsies up on the console.

1:37 Drew Now, what was it we learned last night? Did you push out after evacuating?

1:41 Adam Before you accept some anal?

1:44 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:45 Adam That's one thing we learned last night. Learned a lot of stuff last night. And tonight, it's going to be sort of a... There's not going to be quite as much learning going on. Nicole?

1:58 Yeah.

1:58 Adam You're 19?

1:59 Caller Oh, I love you guys so much. You guys are both geniuses.

2:02 Adam Thank you.

2:03 Caller Okay. Here's my problem.

2:05 Adam Not so smart that one of us couldn't get thrown off at the daytime program, though, I'll tell you that.

2:11 Caller Okay. My problem is that I know for sure that my boyfriend has herpes. We've been dating for almost a year now. We haven't had sex yet. But I just recently became really good friends with his ex-girlfriend, and she told me all this... What is it?

2:26 Adam That's a disaster for any guy. Yeah.

2:29 Caller Well, she told me all this stuff about him and everything, and I mean, I know for sure, because I've, like, jacked him off before, and, you know, I can't... I don't know. I can tell there's, like, little bumps sometimes every once in a while.

2:39 Drew Well, you know the good news, Nicole? Herpes doesn't cause bumps.

2:42 Caller Well, then what's on...

2:43 Caller What is it?

2:44 Drew I don't know, but it's not herpes.

2:46 Adam Could be worms.

2:46 Drew Yeah, scabs?

2:47 Caller Yeah.

2:48 Drew It can cause scabs. It can cause scabs.

2:50 Caller That's what I meant, like, scabs. You know what I mean?

2:52 Drew Yeah, it can cause scabs. All right.

2:53 Caller So I can't get him to tell me. I mean...

2:56 Drew Well, how do you know this woman's telling you the truth?

2:58 Caller Well, because I've felt it before. Like, I don't know...

3:00 Drew Yeah, but the other thing's caused funny. If you listen, you're not a trained clinician. You don't know what... And now that you're not looking at anything, you're just feeling somebody's hand.

3:07 Adam She jacked the guy off. She knows her own hand.

3:11 Drew So Nicole, you don't know what you're feeling there?

3:13 Caller I'm not exactly positive, but I know...

3:15 Drew Nicole, you don't... Listen.

3:16 Adam Well, how come you didn't know anything before his ex told you something?

3:20 Drew How do you know he doesn't have...

3:21 Caller Well, because I never did anything with him before that, but then it made me curious when she told me. So that's when I started getting more sexual to, you know, to get to...

3:29 Adam Okay, well, hold on.

3:29 Drew How do you know he didn't have psoriasis of his penis or something? There's all kinds of skin things you can get in your penis.

3:33 Adam Drew, you'd be a good penis attorney.

3:35 Caller I have no idea. The first thing I thought of was herpes. I tried to get him to get a checkup with me when I went last month. And...

3:40 Drew Well, what did the other girlfriend tell you?

3:43 Caller She told me that he has herpes because she has herpes now.

3:47 Adam Mm-hmm.

3:48 Drew Well, maybe he has them on his mouth.

3:49 Caller Oh, God.

3:51 Adam Well, and not on his penis. Right.

3:53 Caller Does that mean I should have it? Because I've kissed him in the past year, but I've never seen anything.

3:57 Adam No. Okay, let me try to figure something out. You guys have been going out for a year. You've never had sex.

4:04 Caller Well, he's like Christian. He's kind of against it. And so I've kind of...

4:08 Adam I see. Well, why would God give him herpes?

4:10 Caller I don't know.

4:12 Adam Do the math, honey.

4:13 Caller Huh?

4:14 Adam And he has not had sex with his ex, or he did?

4:18 Caller He's going through AA right now, and he's supposed to... He's trying not to do any of the things that he did when he was drunk and everything. So, he's turned all Christian and all this crap with his mom and...

4:29 Adam Oh, that's great. You get the diseased, born again, who's repentant and trying to make up for his past ways. Meanwhile, you're 19, trying to have a good time. And what's up with you? Are you a Christian?

4:41 Caller No, not at all.

4:42 Drew Are you parents or alcoholics or recovering people?

4:45 Caller No, not at all.

4:46 Adam Are you a virgin?

4:47 Caller No.

4:48 Adam But in one year, do you want to have sex with him?

4:50 Caller Yeah, I do, but I'm nervous. I don't know what that is, and I don't want to get anything.

4:54 Adam Well, listen, you're going to have to have just a flat-out conversation with him.

4:59 Caller Well, that's kind of embarrassing for him, though, don't you think?

5:02 Adam Wait a minute, she's had many of them with him?

5:04 Drew I thought you said you've been really pressuring him to admit what you had heard from his girlfriend.

5:10 Caller Yeah, but if I flat-out tell him, that will be kind of embarrassing for him. Is there any way I can get around it?

5:16 Adam No, it's going to be worse for him if you don't have sex with him.

5:20 Drew You've got to tell him you talked to his ex-girlfriend. Maybe she's a liar. Maybe she's pissed at him. Maybe she's trying to get back at him for something. You don't know. Give him an opportunity to come clean. Be honest with him about what you know, what your concerns are, and let's see where he goes.

5:33 Caller Okay.

5:33 All right.

5:35 Caller Yeah. Okay. I'm really, really sorry for what I'm about to say. But I called in a few months ago and I did the story. I was the girl that did the story about the butthole size of a mason jar. Good time. I just want you to know there was not a guy backing me up, Adam.

5:49 Drew Wait a minute. We have to dissect this woman.

5:52 Adam Interesting.

5:52 Drew So she's maybe possessed or something, could be an alien.

5:55 Adam So you did a bogus call on your own.

5:57 Caller No, no, my best friend Jessie thought of it. She's been watching the show for like four years.

6:01 Drew I put her up to it. Where did she get the idea from?

6:03 Caller She just thought, you know, it would be funny to bring it back.

6:05 Drew Does she have a jackoff boyfriend?

6:07 Caller Huh?

6:07 Drew Does she have a boyfriend who's kind of a jackoff?

6:09 Caller No.

6:10 Adam Is Jessie a lesbian?

6:12 Caller No, Jessie's not a lesbian.

6:13 Adam A name like Jessie.

6:14 Caller Huh?

6:14 Adam That could be a lesbian.

6:16 Caller She's not a lesbian.

6:17 Drew Hey, listen, hey, Nicole.

6:19 Adam Oh, listen, leave her alone.

6:20 Drew Listen, she's got asthma. I want to ask you about that.

6:21 Adam Really? Nicole.

6:23 Drew Yeah? What's with the asthma?

6:25 Caller Oh, I have a cold right now.

6:27 Drew You have more than a cold. I mean, are you using inhalers?

6:30 Caller Oh, wait, hold on. My friend Jessie's here. She wants to say hi.

6:32 Drew Oh, Jessie's the culprit.

6:33 Adam I know, but I don't want to spend 10 minutes talking. Okay.

6:37 Okay, it's backed up by me.

6:39 Adam Okay.

6:41 Drew But who put your money?

6:42 Adam Nobody.

6:43 No, I've been listening to the show for like so many years.

6:46 Drew I see. So you were taking the challenge.

6:49 Yeah.

6:49 Caller Okay.

6:51 Adam Who cares? I don't know if I'm tired or what, but I can't talk for five minutes to someone about nothing.

6:57 Drew You know, you can't talk to anybody about anything, goddamn it. I had some touching and painful feelings to talk about tonight.

7:03 Adam No, you didn't.

7:04 Drew Completely dismissed them.

7:05 Adam Drew, you did a show. There was 14 people on it. You did it for a week. You're past that already, aren't you?

7:12 Drew It was intense.

7:14 Adam Why was it intense? Drew was talking about getting fired this morning.

7:19 Drew We just finished up.

7:19 Adam Whatever you call it.

7:21 Drew We're not going back.

7:22 Adam Yes, from Men Are From Mars, chicks are from Venus, and people were crying. It was an emotional time. But for a lot of those people, they were on the set when it was hosted by What's-Her-Nose, right?

7:37 Drew Yeah, and they were much happier when you guys came in.

7:41 Adam Yeah, because What's-Her-Name, who was that other one?

7:43 Drew Cybill Shepherd.

7:43 Adam Cybill Shepherd, big pain in the ass.

7:45 Drew And they started having fun, and we had a good time. People came in very clear, but it was more the five of us. Really? It was intense.

7:52 Adam You never saw anybody off that set once?

7:55 Drew I wasn't off that set much for the last six weeks.

7:57 Adam Tell me how many times, tell me how many times, how many times you saw any of the other cast members off the set?

8:03 Drew Zero.

8:04 Adam Lunch? Dinner?

8:06 Drew I was there five days a week.

8:07 Adam Weekends?

8:10 Drew Adam.

8:10 Adam Vacations?

8:11 Drew There weren't any.

8:12 Adam No. I know. That's what I'm saying. Do you worry about me, brother?

8:16 Drew You're the only other person I have seen in three months. Don't you want me to cry and get upset if you and I break up?

8:23 You pansy?

8:25 Caller No.

8:27 Adam Phil?

8:28 Yeah.

8:28 Adam No, because I'll be guilt ridden. Phil, you're 19. What's up?

8:33 Caller I noticed the last couple of times when I'm masturbated, there have been clumps when I came. Normal.

8:41 Drew Tapioca pudding.

8:43 Caller Yeah.

8:43 Drew Normal.

8:44 Adam That's fine.

8:45 Caller Okay. Because I've just been thinking, I've been taking Vicodin. My doctor prescribed it to me.

8:50 Drew For what?

8:51 Caller I pulled, I tore some muscles in my ribs.

8:54 Drew How much did you take him?

8:55 Caller Um, I, let me see here.

8:59 I've got it right here.

9:01 Adam What were you doing? Snowboarding?

9:03 Caller No, I was at work.

9:05 Let's see.

9:07 Adam Oh, I see. Oh yeah. Yeah. Now I know exactly what happened.

9:10 Drew How often are you taking it?

9:12 Caller I'm taking it just once before I go to bed.

9:15 Drew That's it.

9:16 Caller All right.

9:16 Adam You're fine.

9:17 Drew That's probably not doing this.

9:18 Adam Yeah. I broke some ribs at work too. We all do it.

9:23 Drew Yeah. Well, you fell on a window.

9:25 Adam What kind of work do you do, Phil?

9:26 Caller I'm a mechanic.

9:27 Adam I see. And does something land on you or something?

9:30 Caller No, I was lifting something up over my head at a weird angle.

9:33 Adam All right there, buddy. What do you work on?

9:37 Caller I work on big trucks.

9:39 Adam Nice. All right. Good times there, buddy.

9:42 Caller Good times.

9:43 Adam Take care of yourself.

9:43 Drew That's a man's job. He gets there like a pansy cry with a bunch of girls.

9:47 Adam Yeah, true.

9:48 Drew Because a TV show goes off the air.

9:50 Adam Drew, you're really upset. I mean, I can be nice, but you know, I'll tell you one of the things I like about you, Drew.

9:56 Drew Yeah. You think hard. Wait, wait.

10:00 Adam Okay. No, I'll tell you what I cherish most about our relationship. I have difficulty acting like a human being in front of other human beings.

10:07 Drew Yes, I've noticed that.

10:09 Adam Somebody tells me, I'm going through a tough time. I lost my grandfather. The first thing that pops in my head, Oh, Christ. Do I got to hear this? Now, I don't even, now, I'm not going to say it out loud, but I always feel that way.

10:23 Drew Sometimes. Let's be honest. Sometimes I do.

10:25 Adam Once in a while it slips out. And it's not because I don't like people.

10:28 Drew Well.

10:29 Adam I didn't say I like them.

10:30 Drew Okay.

10:31 Adam It's just, I never know what to do, how to react.

10:34 Drew And you're not interested in this phase.

10:35 Adam I'm not interested and I feel stupid.

10:37 Drew Yeah.

10:38 Adam And the worst situation for me ever is when somebody comes to me sort of in a grieving mode.

10:43 Drew Oh, there I am.

10:44 Adam Right. Now, here's what I like about you, Drew. I never have to coddle you at all. I can just go, oh, quiet down or who cares? And I know you're uncomfortable with that too.

10:56 Drew With what? With coddling people.

10:57 Adam Just any form of attention.

10:59 Drew Yeah.

11:00 Adam Drew, like, you know, Drew's great because Christmas, Easter, birthdays roll around, we don't get each other anything. No gift, right?

11:09 Drew And that's what we cherish most about each other.

11:10 Adam And we don't think about it.

11:11 Drew We thank each other for it.

11:12 Adam Oh, I don't have to think about Drew in it. God bless him. I got to get him.

11:16 Drew I got it too. And on the other hand.

11:18 Adam And we got to get stuff. She passes out, but that's fine. It's done out of love. The point is, is, you know, when you start telling me a story and wanting some sympathy, that's when it makes me realize.

11:31 Drew You're right. We should be talking about you and not me.

11:33 Adam How much I miss you. No, we don't have to talk about me. Let's just not talk about you.

11:37 Drew That's the point, because it's important to you.

11:39 Caller Right. All right.

11:41 Adam Randolph, hey, hey, you're 30. What's up?

11:44 Caller I'm a chronic gambler and I work at a racetrack.

11:48 Drew Good planning.

11:49 Caller Yeah. Hey, I punch out tickets for other people. I literally handle the money that the track takes in and the temptation is there. Oh, I get numbers all day long. Everybody, Dollar Trifecta Box, 145, Dollar Trifecta Box, 145 and I keep punching these tickets out and I think, yeah, yeah, 145 and then something tells me that the 145 and then I just watch the seven, a 50 to one long shot come ahead of everybody. I'm like, okay, I just made a $20 contribution to the state of Kentucky.

12:24 Adam All right. Cut. Hold on a second. Randolph, I want to try that scene again. This time, now remember, Randolph is a guy who works at the track and he's got a gambling problem, but he's a likable guy. Let's try it again this time. Take a breath and pace it down just a little bit. And let's have fun with it.

12:43 Drew A little angered, a little angered too. He lost that money.

12:45 Adam Take it from him. A gambler works at the track. And action.

12:51 Caller I'm frustrated. I hate losing.

12:55 Adam Then it really did seem like he was kind of reading something from a play, didn't it, at the beginning?

13:01 Drew Oh, yeah.

13:01 Adam So, uh...

13:02 Drew 145, 145. Definitely 145.

13:05 Adam You're losing money. You're addicted to gambling. You're addicted to anything else?

13:10 Caller Well, I enjoy the occasional joint every now and then.

13:14 Drew Had you been addicted to anything else?

13:16 Caller Uh, Benadryls.

13:19 Drew Anything else?

13:21 Caller That's about it.

13:22 Drew You sound like somebody who has some real obsessive compulsive qualities.

13:25 Caller Oh, yeah.

13:26 Drew Do you do any other?

13:27 Caller I'm definitely obsessive compulsive.

13:28 Drew Do you do other rituals? Do you think of things over and over again?

13:31 Caller Yep. The idea is that I get into a certain pattern. I just know what people are going to bet and I know how they're going to bet it. And I just punch their tickets automatically.

13:41 Drew Do you ever hear voices, anything like that?

13:43 Caller Sometimes. Well, sometimes they tell me, you know, just settle down.

13:48 Drew Yeah, I see. This is a bigger problem here than the usual.

13:52 Adam Randolph, you ever talk to a psychiatrist?

13:56 Caller I've been trying to see one.

13:57 Drew That would be a good plan because I think some of that compulsion could be settled down with adjusting your biology a little bit.

14:04 Adam What are they paying you over at the track?

14:06 Caller Well, I got about $368 for one week's work.

14:09 Adam I'll double it.

14:12 Caller I got a great idea for a show skit for you. You and Jimmy drive through bookies. Cars pull up to your window.

14:21 Drew You are obsessed.

14:21 Adam Right? Yeah. I'm not sure how to present it, though. Randolph, talk to your se- Oh, you put him on hold. I closed my eyes. I didn't see that.

14:32 Drew He needs a psychiatrist. This is something much, much more serious than the usual.

14:36 Adam Let me tell you-

14:37 Drew Not that the other gambling addictions are not, but this is a more global psychiatric problem. Here he's hearing voices. He's severely obsessive-compulsive. That is sort of schizo-effective. You're insane. Something like that going on.

14:47 Adam Let me tell everybody about gamblers, chronic gamblers. I had a chance to head on down to the Hollywood Park Casino last week, middle of the week, about four in the afternoon on a Wednesday.

15:00 Drew Good times.

15:02 Adam It is a pretty surly crowd that runs around in that place. Lots of dudes, lots of dicey, dicey, dicey dudes. Guys with their own walk and their own smell. Everyone has a half a cigar in their mouth and a racing form hanging out of their back pocket. And it's that dude. I mean, I swear to Christ, I looked around that place. I thought, this is a good place for a sting operation. I could round these guys up. I know at least three quarters of them are delinquent dads.

15:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

15:32 Adam They all owe back pay on child support and they're out gambling. And meanwhile, this sun is up. I mean, it's three, four in the afternoon.

15:40 Drew It's time to work.

15:41 Adam It's the middle of the week. Yeah. These guys are hanging around.

15:44 Drew Are they drunk? Are they drinking beer?

15:45 Adam I mean, you guys, there's a little bit of that going on, but it's not a vacation. They're trying to make money and they're not screwing around that much. That's the scary part about it. I mean, you guys who go to Vegas and you go to the Hard Rock and you go on a Saturday night, that's something else. That's different. Go see real gambling. Go down to the track. Go down to the dog track. Go down in the middle of the week. Go down about 2 in the afternoon. See who's hanging out. You won't find a woman in the entire place, by the way. Women apparently don't gamble.

16:19 Drew Aren't they usually one per like 800?

16:22 Adam Maybe. One lesbian per 800 guys.

16:24 Drew They're usually some freaked out, talking to herself, without wigged hair.

16:28 Adam There's no gay men either. They're super straight guys. They all look like Jack Klugman.

16:33 Drew Gay men are way too smart for that, don't you think?

16:36 Adam Yeah. They're not going to throw their money away. They're busy investing it in real estate and laughing all the way to the bank. Brandi? Hi. But it's that real fake kind of laugh, you know, something ho ho ho, that high pitch one.

16:51 Drew What is?

16:51 Adam Yeah. When they laugh to the bank. Brandi?

16:55 Caller Yeah.

16:55 Adam You're 15. What's up?

16:57 Caller Okay. This is going to sound kind of weird, but I need to ask it. My best friend just recently, like, went to the doctor, and she had this thing that she thought she got from having dry sex with her boyfriend, but it turned out that it's herpes. And I was wondering, we, like, sleep together a lot, and we take baths together and stuff, and we have, like, E-parties where we all get naked and rub each other.

17:19 Caller And I was wondering if I could catch it that way.

17:20 Drew Slow down here. E-parties?

17:22 Caller Ecstasy.

17:23 Adam You didn't know what E is, buddy?

17:25 Drew It's on that thing.

17:27 Adam And you all get naked and rub each other? Are there guys in this?

17:31 Caller There's a couple, yes.

17:32 Adam Oh, I want to kill those guys. How many girls?

17:36 Caller There's, like, about four or five girls and, like, two guys.

17:39 Caller No!

17:40 Drew And everyone's 15?

17:42 Caller No. Everyone else is older. It's just me and her that's 15.

17:46 Drew And she's your, she's a, how old?

17:48 Adam How old is everyone else?

17:51 They're anywhere from 19 to 25.

17:54 Adam And everyone's totally naked?

17:55 Totally naked.

17:56 Adam Is there any sex going on?

17:58 Caller Um, not usually, because it's kind of hard to do it while you're on E, but sometimes.

18:05 Adam And everyone just in the same room getting naked?

18:07 Caller Well, it's like an apartment, and we all just kind of run around.

18:11 Adam Naked?

18:12 Caller Yeah.

18:13 Drew You're not concerned about the ecstasy, hurting your brain?

18:16 Caller Um, no, not really.

18:17 Drew How come?

18:18 Caller Um, I don't do it that often. It's just, like, a once-in-a-while thing.

18:22 Drew You know, it takes about, you know, how much time do you do it?

18:24 Adam How about one of these 25-year-olds with a boner hurting your brain by trying to penetrate your ear?

18:30 Drew Right. Are you getting an STD? Everybody wearing condoms?

18:33 Um, well, not everyone's...

18:35 Caller We're not really having sex, you know, so...

18:37 Adam You know what? There's something even better about that, Drew. Do you know what I mean? It's like some kind of herbal essence commercial gone bad, you know? It's a bunch of naked people. You know, like a R-rated movie that would come on late night on showtime.

18:53 Drew Yeah.

18:54 Adam Yeah. But fifteen, Brandy.

18:56 Caller Yeah.

18:56 Adam Christ, where are your parents?

18:58 Caller Um, at home.

18:59 Adam I see. And what do they do to you?

19:01 Caller My parents?

19:02 Adam Yeah.

19:03 Caller Um, I live with my dad and my stepmom, and they're good parents.

19:06 Adam Where's mama?

19:07 Drew It sounds pretty checked out.

19:08 Caller Um, my mom is... lives in Santa Rosa.

19:12 Drew Why are you not with her?

19:14 Caller Um, we don't get along that well. I took off when I was about ten, so...

19:18 Adam Yeah. You know, you're gonna get in trouble hanging around with these older guys who are on drugs.

19:25 Caller Yeah, I guess.

19:26 Drew Why is that funny?

19:28 Caller I mean, they're nice guys.

19:29 Caller They just...

19:31 Adam I believe they're... No, I don't, actually. No, I believe they're not arsonists or murderers.

19:36 Drew They're just down the ladder a little bit from that.

19:38 Adam Show me a guy who's 23 and he's got a 15-year-old running around naked in the apartment. I'm gonna show you a bad guy.

19:46 Drew Yeah. Yeah, it's a bad guy. When you're 23, you're gonna freak out when you realize your peer is at 23, we're behaving like this.

19:53 Caller Yeah, I can see that.

19:55 Adam Yeah. Whose apartment is it?

19:57 Caller It's this guy's apartment.

20:00 Adam Yeah. Is he orchestrating the whole thing?

20:03 Caller Not really.

20:04 Caller It's just...

20:05 Caller Like, I guess they used to do it and we met them at a rave, an after party at a rave, and then, you know, got involved.

20:14 Adam All right. Do you like anybody? Any of the guys? Any of the girls?

20:18 Caller We're me and the guy and his fiancee. Sometimes mess around, but...

20:24 Caller Oh.

20:25 Drew Fiancee?

20:26 Caller Yeah.

20:27 Adam How old is the guy?

20:28 Caller 25.

20:29 Adam Oh. Yeah.

20:30 Drew What an idiot.

20:31 Adam This guy's a world class jackass. You know, I mean, I'm sure the guy holds a job down and I'm sure he's not a dangerous guy, but he's just a jackass. And you don't understand that because you're 15 and you think you're all grown up. But believe me, especially as a woman, when you're 25, you picture a 15 year old, you'll go nuts.

20:51 Drew You want to kill all 25 year old guys.

20:54 Adam Right.

20:54 Caller Kind of gross. I know I thought about it, but OK.

20:57 Drew How old is his fiance?

20:58 Caller 19.

20:59 Adam And you guys have like a little threesome?

21:02 Caller Yeah.

21:02 Drew And this is the one you're afraid you got an STD from?

21:04 Caller No, my best friend. No, I'm not afraid I got it. I was just wondering if I could get it.

21:09 Drew If you're in your these rubbing parties, of course you can.

21:12 Caller Okay. Okay.

21:15 Drew All kinds of ways to get it.

21:16 Adam I'm thinking of...

21:17 Drew If it's active.

21:18 Adam I might throw one of these rubbing parties myself.

21:20 They're really fun.

21:22 Drew Is there a jargon for them? What are they called?

21:25 Caller A what?

21:25 Drew Is there sort of a name for them?

21:27 Caller E-Parties.

21:29 Adam All right. Hey, Brandy?

21:30 Caller Yeah.

21:31 Adam Okay. Can you find Jesus Christ?

21:33 I don't know about that, but...

21:35 Adam We'll find somebody, would you?

21:36 Caller Yeah, I will.

21:37 Adam Muhammad, stop rubbing around with 25-year-olds.

21:40 Caller Okay.

21:40 Adam You gotta screw yourself up.

21:42 Caller All right.

21:42 Adam All right, baby.

21:43 Caller All right.

21:43 Adam Thank you.

21:44 Drew All right. Adam, good times.

21:46 Adam Yeah, good times. Hey, listen, I hate to admit it, and sometimes, I don't know, I don't even know if this microphone's on or not, the way I talk, but there's something a little tantalizing about the rubbing party. I sit here and I hear about sex all night. We just talk about yanking off and horn-hauling and pearl necklaces, and it's really a filthy, filthy, disgusting show. I swear to Christ, I'm this close to taking a shower sometimes. This close. I'm not exaggerating, Drew. I almost took one last week. I felt so filthy from this show. I really did.

22:20 Drew Yeah, it's wild.

22:22 Adam But when I hear about the young girls get naked and rolling around.

22:25 Drew Frolicking.

22:26 Adam Frolicking? I think, hey, sign me up for that. Oh, that I could go for. It doesn't sound like it takes a lot of energy either.

22:35 Drew Or you lie and have somebody rub you.

22:37 Adam Yeah, just lie there and rub. I'll rub the TV remote. You guys rub on me. That's my plan.

22:44 Drew That's bizarre.

22:45 Adam All right, I'm going to see if I can put together one of these rubbing parties.

22:48 Drew Enjoy.

22:48 Adam You want in?

22:49 Drew No, thank you.

22:49 Adam Anderson, you're in though, right? Yeah, Anderson says it. All right. If I break some wind for Anderson while we're rubbing on each other.

22:59 All right, we'll be back. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio.

23:23 Drew 100.7 The Buzz.

23:35 Adam That's my riff. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. And let's get back on the phones. Oh, yeah.

23:48 Drew Let's maybe chance to talk about your bed invention.

23:51 Adam The, uh, mattress, the orifice inside the mattress.

23:54 Drew The whole aplenty, yeah.

23:56 Adam I really, hey, if anyone designs mattresses and they're listening, a nice hole in the mattress.

24:02 Drew The mattress.

24:03 Adam All the way through, mm, this is if you put a coffee can, about the size of a coffee can in there, sleep with your, if you're like me and you sleep on your stomach, you get an erection in the middle of the night, that goes in the hole. If you have a couple of hookers over and one drop too much acid and it's got to vomit right into the hole, use your imagination.

24:23 Drew It's like a mattress hole.

24:24 Adam Yeah. If you're like me and you got to take a whiz in the middle of the night and you're too tired to get up, right in the hole, you're already in the hole. And I think it would be just as comfortable, Drew. I really do. Elizabeth?

24:38 Caller Yeah.

24:38 Adam Oh, what's up, Perky?

24:40 Caller Hi. Hey. Let me just start out by saying I've always had a 4.0 or higher. And me and my boyfriend were watching this porno one night about a dominatrix and her boyfriend or whatever. I don't know. And he was whipping her. I mean, she was whipping him and we got really kinky. And like, I decided that I wanted to try it. And so we started doing it and I got really into it. And I've never had an orgasm before, but I finally had one this time. And now whenever I go to school, all I can think about is like whipping, like the boys at school and like hitting them. And I can't concentrate at all. My GPA is falling big time.

25:15 Adam Well, how long ago did this happen?

25:19 Caller Well, when it started.

25:21 Adam That's right.

25:21 Caller Yeah.

25:22 Caller Like two months.

25:24 Adam Two months.

25:24 Caller Yeah.

25:25 Adam And you're with a different guy now?

25:27 Caller No, I'm with the same guy.

25:28 Adam Well, you just think about whipping anyone you see.

25:31 Caller Right.

25:31 Adam Now, you whipped your boyfriend.

25:33 Caller Yes.

25:34 Adam What did you whip him with?

25:35 Caller Just my hand.

25:37 Drew Why don't you guys do that anymore?

25:39 Caller No, we still do.

25:40 Adam Hold on. Can you whip someone with your hand or can you just slap them?

25:43 Caller Well, I guess you would call it slapping.

25:44 Adam I see.

25:45 Caller Sorry.

25:46 Adam And you had an orgasm while you were beating on him?

25:49 Caller Right.

25:50 Drew And you still are able to do that?

25:51 Caller Yes.

25:52 Adam What was he doing to you while you were beating on him?

25:54 Caller Nothing. We were just having sex.

25:56 Adam Well, that's sex. Yeah. Sex counts, right?

25:59 Caller Right.

26:00 Adam So, he was on top of you?

26:02 Caller No, I was on top of him.

26:04 Adam And you were smacking him?

26:05 Caller Yeah.

26:06 Adam Across the face?

26:07 Caller Yes.

26:08 Adam And that gave you the orgasm?

26:09 Caller Yeah.

26:10 Adam Interesting. Say you're a straight A student?

26:13 Caller Yes.

26:15 Adam Over 4.0? To me, that's 110%. But anyway, where do you go? 4-year college?

26:23 Caller I go to Cal Poly, yeah.

26:25 Adam Cal Poly which?

26:27 Caller Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.

26:29 Adam Good times. Cal Poly, slow. All right. And beautiful country over there. And now your grades are falling because you can't focus in the class.

26:38 Caller Right.

26:39 Adam And do you have this kind of sex with your boyfriend every time now?

26:43 Caller Yeah.

26:44 Drew Do you have other kinds?

26:44 Adam Have you bought things to, you know, have you accessorized your love life? You bought yourself a leather mask or cat-o-nine tails or anything like that?

26:53 Drew The only thing we have is handcuffs.

26:55 Caller Sorry, the only thing we have is handcuffs.

26:58 Drew Is, are you having any other intrusive thoughts or compulsive rituals, anything like that?

27:03 Caller Nope.

27:04 Drew Nothing like that. You've never had problems like that?

27:06 Caller Nope.

27:07 Drew Is your mood okay otherwise?

27:08 Caller Yeah.

27:10 Drew And are you doing drugs or alcohol or anything of that nature?

27:13 Caller I drink occasionally, but...

27:15 Drew Not a lot. And did somebody smack you around when you were a kid?

27:18 Caller No.

27:19 Drew You were never struck as a child?

27:20 Caller Nope.

27:21 Adam Or watch a lot of Zorro movies?

27:24 Caller No.

27:25 Adam No. All right.

27:26 Drew You were never struck.

27:27 Adam It's interesting to have something triggered that you don't feel like was created.

27:33 Drew And there's nothing else going on. No more global process.

27:36 Adam Your parents good?

27:38 Drew Yeah.

27:38 Adam Yeah. No violence, no fantasies of violence when you were younger. You didn't strangle your cat or put an MAD on a potato bug or anything?

27:48 Drew Are you into your boyfriend? Are you into your boyfriend?

27:51 Caller Am I into him?

27:52 Drew Yeah. Yeah. But you're thinking about having sex with other guys?

27:56 Adam No.

27:56 Caller I'm just thinking about hitting him.

27:58 Drew Hitting other guys? Yes.

28:00 Adam How do you think, is this only in a sexual way?

28:03 Drew Yeah.

28:03 Adam I mean, what do you think, how do you think you'd respond to a little kickboxing or Taekwondo or something?

28:10 Caller I don't know.

28:11 Drew Would that help you release some of this?

28:13 Caller I doubt it.

28:17 Adam What if you woke up every morning before you went to school, beat the crap out of a heavy bag for a couple of rounds and then went to school? Do you think that might blow off some steam?

28:27 Caller There's no orgasm in hitting a thing.

28:31 Adam No kidding. So it's all sexual. You don't feel any anger when you're hitting him?

28:36 Caller Nope.

28:37 Drew Is this all about the orgasm? Is this the only way you've been able to get an orgasm?

28:40 Caller Yeah, that seems to be the only way possible.

28:44 Drew Have you tried a vibrator or something else? Maybe we can uncouple the association here.

28:48 Caller I have tried a vibrator, yeah, and it just does not work.

28:51 Adam She beat the crap out of it. She stabbed her boyfriend with it.

28:54 Drew And why don't we get a certain vibe here? You know what I'm saying?

28:58 Adam Yeah, just her voice, you mean?

29:00 Caller What's wrong with my voice?

29:02 Caller I don't know.

29:04 Adam I don't know, there's something. I'm trying to think. Good student, loving parents. What do they do? Lawyers?

29:11 Caller No, my dad's an electrician.

29:12 Adam Aha!

29:13 Works for my dad.

29:15 Drew Who works for your dad?

29:16 Caller Yep.

29:16 Drew Who does?

29:17 Adam Your mom?

29:17 Caller Well, they both own the same company.

29:19 Adam I see. Brothers, sisters?

29:22 Caller Nope.

29:23 Drew And no traumatic history?

29:24 Caller Nope.

29:26 Adam Never saw anyone die?

29:27 Drew Nope.

29:28 Adam Never killed a man just to watch him die?

29:30 Caller No.

29:30 Adam Oh, you should try that. That's good.

29:32 Caller Really?

29:33 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, I don't know what the answer is here.

29:36 Drew Maybe nothing.

29:38 Adam Maybe this is just something you enjoy.

29:40 Caller There's nothing I can do to like break my...

29:43 Adam Well, how badly do you want to stop?

29:45 Caller Well, I just want to stop thinking about it at school.

29:48 Drew Well, see, I think I'm suspicious this may be some other sort of either mood disturbance or obsessive-compulsive problem. And have yourself evaluated. If you really cannot concentrate, it's bothersome. It makes me wonder if there's some hidden medical problem going on here that's affecting your concentration.

30:09 Adam It's just kind of like some thyroid problem or tumor or something.

30:12 Drew Yeah, exactly. And that she sort of associates it with these events, but maybe something else going on. Or is there something psychiatrically going on here that could be treated?

30:20 Adam Aaron? Aaron?

30:23 Drew Yeah?

30:23 Adam You're 17? What's up?

30:26 Caller Hey, I got a question for you.

30:27 Uh-huh.

30:28 Caller Actually about two. I noticed like when I first started masturbating, I got like these white bumps. But they're not like sores. They're just like these bumps.

30:39 Drew I don't know what they are. They're the pearly penile papules.

30:42 Caller Pardon me?

30:43 Drew Pearly penile papules.

30:45 Caller Yeah.

30:45 Drew That's what they are.

30:46 Caller Okay.

30:46 Adam Where did you get them?

30:47 Drew And they're normal.

30:48 Caller I have no idea.

30:49 Drew Kmart.

30:50 Adam No, I mean on your penis?

30:51 Caller Yeah.

30:52 Adam I see. On the shaft or on the base or where?

30:55 Caller On the shaft.

30:56 Adam Nice. Yeah.

30:58 Caller Is that like anything wrong?

31:00 Drew No, they are normal. And around what time do you start? How were you when you started masturbating?

31:05 I started when I was 16.

31:07 Drew It's around the time you hit puberty usually the papules come around so...

31:10 Caller Well, I just noticed them.

31:12 Adam Yeah. You're a virgin?

31:14 Caller Yeah.

31:15 Adam Yeah. I got that. I could hear it in his voice. All right. You're all right.

31:20 Caller All right.

31:20 Adam All right there, buddy.

31:21 Caller All right. And I got another question.

31:23 Adam Yeah. How often do you masturbate?

31:26 Caller Twice daily.

31:27 Adam Nice.

31:29 Drew Your other question?

31:30 Caller Yeah. Like ever since I've been little I get canker sores in my mouth. Is it possible that I can like pass it on to a girl?

31:37 Drew Possible. Yes. Possible.

31:40 Adam How often do you get them?

31:43 Caller Oh, I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell. They come and go. My like my doctor and dentist told me that from too much like citric acid. Like I drink a lot of orange juice.

31:53 Drew Well, it irritates it and the triggers the virus. But it may or may not be transmissible.

31:56 Adam You can drink less orange juice.

31:58 Yeah.

32:01 Drew And then if you're not having an outbreak, you probably would not be transmissible, not be infectious.

32:05 Adam Josh?

32:06 Drew Yeah?

32:06 Adam You're 16?

32:07 Drew Yep.

32:08 Adam What's up?

32:09 Well, a while ago I called and I said that my semen tasted funny for my girlfriend when she gave me oral sex.

32:18 Adam She complained about that, right?

32:19 Yeah.

32:20 Adam Right.

32:20 But now, like, because I had a cold back then and I was taking antibiotics, I got off that. And apparently she said it tastes more decent now.

32:30 Drew Off the antibiotics.

32:31 Yeah. And I've been drinking a lot more like liquid and not like sodas, but like juices and crap like that. And she said it's been getting more decent.

32:39 Adam Well, you know, this is something we've been debating and oftentimes arguing against. But the consensus seems to be that lack of drugs, antibiotics.

32:50 Drew We've said medication could cause a change.

32:52 Adam Yes, we have talked about that. Apparently, a cleaner living, a cleaner penis is a better penis. So maybe there's something to it. But it seems so marginal to me.

33:05 Drew Listen, it's more that we're talking about people that have something abnormal going on, get an abnormal taste. The range of normal is bad and bad.

33:17 Adam So, for semen, yeah, I mean, it goes, it's bad and then projectile vomiting.

33:24 Drew Well, the projectile vomiting is usually, they're on medication, there's something, an infection, something going on from a disease standpoint or disease process or abnormal process.

33:34 Adam Yeah.

33:34 Drew And just bad is normal.

33:36 Adam Yeah.

33:36 Drew And eating marshmallows makes it stay bad.

33:40 Adam I never got any semen related complaints personally, but I never ask either. That's, I don't want to go there. I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to go, you know, I'm glad you brought that up because as a matter of fact, yeah, something going on. You're funky. You're spunky. He's funky. All right, Josh. Hey, good times, buddy. Okay. Yeah.

34:00 Drew Good. Sounds like a Beastie Boys song.

34:06 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to David. David is a ripe old 19 years old. Once again, a circumcision, David.

34:14 Caller Yeah.

34:15 Adam Yeah. That's what you want.

34:16 Caller Yeah.

34:17 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

34:19 Caller All right.

34:19 Adam I don't try anything on your own until we talk to you. All right.

34:22 Caller All right.

34:23 Adam All right. This is Loveline. We'll be right back. Oh, yeah. Loveline, Adam, that's Drew over there. Tell you what we got going on tonight. We got me, we got Drew, and we got me.

35:19 Drew We got you.

35:19 Adam We got me.

35:20 Drew Because I'm not really here as far as you're concerned.

35:22 Adam We got me, and we have part of Drew here.

35:24 Drew I'm all here. No, no, no. You just don't realize it. Because actually, the show would have gone a lot better if you actually connected with my pain.

35:30 Adam I heard Drew's feelings at the top of the show when he told me he had a sort of emotional and moving day today when him and his castmates from Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus show broke up. They did their very last show. He said it was very touching. There were tears shed on that stage, right? Lots of tears. And I didn't empathize with him. I was going to say enough, but that wouldn't be fair at all.

35:56 Drew Thank you.

35:57 Adam I'm too tired for sympathy. I really am.

36:00 Drew Dick Weed. You jerk. You really, really hurt me. You can't come and go like that and expect it just to be. Who the hell was I talking about?

36:09 Adam That was Anderson wired me. And we got into an argument in the limo after you'd had a few drinks after doing a college gig. I think that's when we were going to we're talking about getting our own place together. Oh, yeah. We're going to get that condo bite off that gay friend of yours.

36:28 Drew You said something like this.

36:29 Adam The world is your oyster. That's all the world is. That was my response to you call me a dick weed. Hi, Dr. Drew, everybody. And I feel your pain, Drew. I really do. I really sympathize.

36:43 Drew That's cool.

36:43 Adam Come on, buddy. David, you're 19. What's up?

36:49 Caller Well, I was wondering. I want to get a circumcision. Oh, yeah.

36:52 Adam That's right.

36:56 Caller If it's possible or...

36:57 Drew Yes, you can see urologists and they will do it. But what's your reason for wanting to do it?

37:01 Caller Because I've been reading the Bible and I read in the Bible.

37:06 Drew That what?

37:07 Caller That God made a covenant with Noah. And you're supposed to do it.

37:12 Drew With Noah?

37:13 Yeah.

37:15 Adam Really?

37:16 Yeah.

37:16 Drew Noah is where circumcision got going?

37:19 Adam He put two pre-peuses on the ark.

37:23 Drew What happened to Abraham?

37:25 Caller One of the two. I don't know.

37:26 Drew Oh, yeah.

37:28 Adam Yeah. You're really studying that Bible, David.

37:30 Drew It's a good thing you wanted to lead your life by the very letter of the word of the Bible. It's good since you have it so well at hand.

37:39 Adam What else did you figure? Was there a section in there where they told you to cut your foot off too?

37:45 Caller No. All right.

37:46 Drew How about the part where you give animal sacrifices and burn it?

37:50 Caller Huh?

37:51 Adam Yeah. Hey David?

37:53 Caller Yeah.

37:53 Adam I was going to be all right with you getting the circumcision until I heard about you getting it from the Bible and screwing that up. Okay. Now I'm labeling you a retard and I'm saying you should not do this.

38:05 No.

38:05 Adam There's something wrong with you.

38:07 There's something wrong with me.

38:08 Drew Most men in this world are not circumcised. While there are certain advantages to it, but if you're not circumcised at 19, the only compelling reason to do it is if you have some medical problems, like a narrowing of the foreskin, you can't get the head of the penis out or irritation or recurrent infections, that kind of thing. There are some people who believe that it might reduce a small risk of penile cancer. Yeah. And there are some people who just have a cosmetic issue with it. But for the most part, it's a non-issue.

38:36 Adam Why are you going so wacky with the Bible at 19?

38:39 Caller Well, I just started reading and...

38:42 Adam What are you doing, time?

38:44 Caller No.

38:45 Adam What makes you start reading the Bible at 19? Something.

38:48 Just because I wanted to.

38:50 Drew But you're reading it as literature?

38:53 Caller Just like one or two pages a night.

38:55 Drew As literature?

38:56 Adam Yeah. No girlfriend?

38:59 Caller Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

39:00 Adam How's she doing?

39:01 Caller Good.

39:02 Adam Alright. You working?

39:04 Caller Yeah, I got two jobs.

39:06 Adam Where are you working?

39:07 Caller I work for, I'm a mechanic on big trucks during the weekend, on the weekend.

39:14 Adam A lot of big truck mechanics I call them in. Do you work on a lot of diesel engines?

39:19 Caller Yeah.

39:20 Adam Yeah. What's the displacement on most of those engines?

39:23 Caller About 12.7 liters.

39:25 Adam Well, they're all mostly straight configuration?

39:29 Caller Yeah, straight sixes.

39:31 Adam Turbo charge, a lot of them?

39:33 Caller Yeah, turbo charge, that's cold.

39:35 Adam Whatever. Nice.

39:36 All that good stuff.

39:37 Adam What did you say, 12 liter?

39:39 Caller Yeah, 12.7, 11, around there.

39:41 Adam Big engines. All right there, buddy.

39:44 Drew Don't cut.

39:44 Caller I was also wondering. Well, me and my girlfriend mess around afterwards. Like, we don't, I'm a virgin still. And some seaman comes out and was wondering if that's normal.

39:56 Drew Yes, normal.

39:57 Adam Fine. Yeah, it's page 487 of the Bible. Tells you all about that.

40:01 Drew Psalms 3.

40:02 Adam That's right. And 488 used to dab the seaman off. All right, everybody.

40:07 Caller Good times.

40:10 Adam Well, listen, these guys are reading the Bible and cutting their foreskins off. I mean, that's a certain brand of Tartism right there. Listen, here's our Bible. Bible is to stop bullets, protect you from vampires and to use as coasters and motels when you're banging the bejesus out of your secretary.

40:27 Drew Hmm, I see.

40:28 Adam People have really got to learn what that book is used for. Lindsay?

40:33 Yeah?

40:34 Adam You're 19. What's up?

40:36 Caller I heard Drew make a comment about marshmallows affecting the way semen tastes in a bad way.

40:43 Drew No, I didn't. I just said it's already bad and it's always bad.

40:48 Caller Not necessarily.

40:51 Adam Well, you have acquired a taste for it, obviously. True. Easy over there.

40:57 Caller All guys are different.

40:58 Adam They are.

40:59 Drew That's true. But none of it is...

41:02 Adam How do you know that?

41:03 Drew Davencher Crane.

41:04 Caller Huh?

41:05 Adam How do you know that all guys are different, Lindsay?

41:08 Caller All the guys that I've had.

41:11 Drew How many guys?

41:12 Caller Yeah.

41:13 Adam You ever go semen tasting, go up to semen country?

41:17 Caller No.

41:17 Adam No. How many penises have you tasted?

41:22 Caller I don't even know.

41:23 Adam You stinking whore. Can't count.

41:26 Caller No. No. It's not that many. But I just don't care to remember.

41:31 Drew Well, give us an idea how many we're talking about here.

41:33 Caller Less than 20.

41:34 Drew Less than 20. Why would you care to remember? That's sort of a guy move.

41:37 Adam Always helps, though, when people give you the less number. You know what I mean? It's like a ridiculous... Less than 20, it's also less than 2 million, right?

41:47 Caller Yes.

41:47 Adam Okay.

41:48 Drew What is the issue here that you find it sort of disturbing to recall your past with your past relationships?

41:53 Caller No. It's just because I was kind of wild in the past. And now I've settled down.

41:58 Drew Why are we so wild? Why are we so wild?

42:01 Caller I don't know. I was the same kid.

42:03 Drew No. What was going on?

42:07 Adam Let me tell you something, Drew. Not all girls. And I know this freaks you out. Girls can have some fun for a while.

42:14 Drew They'll go on a tear. Yeah.

42:16 Adam They can get a little momentum.

42:17 Drew She was making a little career going here.

42:19 Adam Yeah.

42:19 Drew And then you hear the-

42:20 Adam 120 penises. What's up? Ask her.

42:24 Caller I wasn't making a career out of it. It was just various boyfriends and some mistakes. Like it wasn't just like being slutty or whatever. Yeah.

42:33 Drew But why is it so disturbing for you to think? Why is it so disturbing for you to think about it then?

42:37 Caller No, it's just I don't- I've settled down now and that's part of my past. You know what I mean?

42:42 Adam She's a good girl now.

42:44 Caller Yeah, I'm totally-

42:46 Adam Why don't you believe her?

42:47 Drew I do believe her, but it's- she is so ashamed of it. It means something.

42:52 Caller No, it's not that I'm ashamed.

42:54 Drew Then why can't you even think about it? I care not to think about it, you said.

42:58 Caller No, I just don't care to- I don't care-

42:59 Drew I don't care to remember.

43:01 Adam Well, Drew, you don't care to remember all your relationships, do you?

43:04 Drew I'm very ashamed.

43:04 Adam And there you go.

43:06 Drew Well, we can get into my specifics if you want.

43:08 Adam No, we don't. We don't want to do that. No, no, we can't either. Lindsay? Yeah, good times, baby.

43:16 Drew What was your point?

43:18 Caller Oh, well, my point, I was calling in and I told the girl that I actually discovered on accident that when my boyfriend ate a lot of peeps, it made his semen taste really nice and sweet.

43:31 Drew Peeps?

43:31 Caller Really good.

43:32 Drew Was he diabetic?

43:34 Caller No.

43:34 Adam What's Peeps?

43:35 Caller He likes them.

43:36 Adam Easter candy?

43:37 Caller Peeps.

43:37 Drew Because if you take enough sugar in, simple sugars like that, you start spilling sugar in the urine, you will get it in the semen.

43:44 Caller Oh, OK.

43:44 Drew So that may be what's happening.

43:45 Adam Well, he's not diabetic.

43:47 Drew But he might be spilling some sugar.

43:49 Adam I'd like to spill some sugar.

43:51 Caller I mean, it's covered with sugar. Come on.

43:54 Adam OK, thank you. There you go, baby.

43:56 Caller All right.

43:57 Adam Hey, how's the grant going for the for this research? How's that research grant going? You get that funding yet? Keep up the good work, baby. She's really doing God's work over there. Blowing guys on Easter. Now, listen, I'm not a religious man, but even I won't blow a guy on Easter. That's a that's a day of rest. That's a day of atonement.

44:20 Drew Which is worse, that or eating the peeps?

44:21 Adam Easter was the day that that Jesus was hung on the cross, or is that when he was resurrected? What the hell happens at his birthday? And then what's Christmas? Drew, what's Easter? Was he killed that day or was he reborn that day? You don't know?

44:41 Drew I think it's when he came back.

44:42 Adam Came back? Easter, he came back. All right. When was he hung on the cross? A week earlier? No, it's not that long. I'd expect to come back in about five days next time. Randy?

44:56 Yeah?

44:56 Adam You're 17? What's up?

44:59 Caller Oh, well, just this weekend, my girlfriend and I were playing around with some Karmasutra love oils. Well, after four hours, no, wait, sorry, four, round four, we stopped, long story short, my penis is raw, which is normal, but my scrotum looks like a bald man's head with too much sun.

45:30 Drew Okay.

45:31 Adam Yeah. Scrotum is very porous.

45:33 Drew So you think you're having a reaction to that ointment? Are they loyal? Possible. You grow, any chance you grow a friend with herpes?

45:40 Caller Oh, no. Hmm.

45:42 Drew Nobody had anything in their mouth or anything like that? No herpes in the mouth?

45:46 Caller No.

45:49 Adam How about you take one of them nice sits baths?

45:51 Drew Yeah, hot baths are good.

45:52 Adam Sit in a nice tub of warm water, try not to whack off and soak your nuts. Yeah, you'll be fine.

45:58 Drew Yeah, it's probably just some sort of allergic reaction.

46:00 Adam Randy's so excited that he's getting light. Do you hear this voice?

46:04 Drew He has to announce it to us everyone.

46:06 Adam Well, when we are on the fourth hour, pardon me, round four. Yes, we...

46:15 Drew Shaggy, shaggy, baby.

46:16 Adam We climbed the heights of... We scaled the heights of passion three times and then I went for a fourth. Remember that? Remember how excited you were to get light at a certain point in your life?

46:26 Drew Yeah, and dying to tell people about it.

46:27 Adam Yeah. Now, you know what I brag about now? Naps. I took a 90-minute nap just last week, I swear to Christ. All the way through. I didn't wake up. It was great. Drew, you all right?

46:42 Caller Did your back hurt?

46:43 Drew I'm just... Yeah.

46:44 Adam You're in a bad way today, brother.

46:46 Drew Yeah, I told you.

46:47 Adam Why don't you go grab a beer or something? Take the edge off. Is there any beer in here?

46:52 Drew Let's see what we can do.

46:53 Adam Let's get Drew fixed up. I don't like to see him this way. It really bothers me. All right. We'll be back.

47:19 Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, the bug.

47:43 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Drew, everybody. Drew's a little tired, little down and out. Yeah, even Drew has his bad nights.

47:52 Drew What is the word for it?

47:53 Adam Marose.

47:54 Drew I'm not that bad. Sort of a-

47:57 Adam Melancholy?

47:58 Drew Melancholy. That's a good way of putting it.

47:59 Adam Drew's a little melancholy tonight, everybody. It's all right. Let's make him feel better.

48:05 Drew So far, Adam did a great job just empathizing, being there with me.

48:08 Adam When I said let's, I didn't mean me. I meant to call it.

48:11 Drew Yeah, no doubt.

48:12 Adam Give him a little, let's give him a little boost, a little something. Blow a little smoke in his ass tonight. This guy busts his ass every night. How long? Eighteen years on this show?

48:21 Yeah.

48:22 Adam Ten of them for free?

48:23 Yeah.

48:24 Adam Busting ass trying to help the kids of the world. Thank God for Dr. Drew. That's right. Let's help him out tonight. John?

48:33 Yeah.

48:33 Adam Got anything nice to say about Drew?

48:36 I do.

48:36 Caller He actually, he's great. I've been listening for over ten years.

48:41 Drew Wow. See?

48:42 Adam He's a dedicated man who cares about the community he lives in.

48:45 Caller I do.

48:45 I do.

48:47 Caller I know he does.

48:47 He's great.

48:49 Caller He's actually given a lot of advice over the last ten years that I've really followed.

48:52 Drew Oh, John, thank you. What's up tonight?

48:54 Caller Throughout his life, a man beloved by the children.

48:57 Caller That's right.

48:57 Drew What's up tonight, John?

49:00 Caller Well, I've been, I've got a friend that, well, she's now my fiance and I've been dating her intimately now for about the last nine months. And, um, she, uh, when I go down on her, she is, uh, quite, quite, uh, pungent. Uh, and I know that you talked about last night as far as a man's unit, uh, and the smell of that changing the diet and everything. I wanted to know if you had any advice for, uh, for my fiance or how, how would I even approach it?

49:34 Adam Well, let's, let me ask a few questions. Does she have any idea of her pungity? Her pungity?

49:42 Caller No, she does not.

49:43 Adam She does not know. And does she, you know, when you get to her, when you're intimate, is this after, uh, it's hanging. Long, uh, long day of work? Or do you guys shower first?

49:55 No, she, she takes a bath.

49:56 Caller I mean, it's like, uh, I mean, uh, it's not like she just came from a huge workout or anything.

50:02 I mean. Right.

50:02 Adam She didn't just get to climb off the rodeo circuit. Is she a big gal?

50:08 Caller Uh, no, she's not.

50:10 She's actually quite fit.

50:11 Caller Uh, she's, uh, you know, she's kind of petite.

50:14 Adam So even when she's squeaky clean, that smell is still there.

50:19 Drew And the one thing you can get checked out is whether or not there's an infection. Sometimes certain bacteria can cause this. So you could maybe, you know.

50:26 Caller She doesn't have a yeast infection.

50:27 Drew It's not yeast. It's just sort of a vaginal growth of bacteria that can cause funny smells. And you can harbor it in the tip of the penis and give it back to her and they can go back and forth. So there's a reason to get it checked out.

50:41 Caller Okay.

50:41 Drew And beyond that, I don't know, sometimes I think people sort of chemistries don't mix that way. You know what I mean?

50:47 Caller Right, right.

50:47 Drew Certain smells bother some people, don't bother others. And you don't bother, you're not bothered by your own smell.

50:54 Adam Well, it is funny that certain people have certain sensibilities, for instance. No one would argue about that. I mean, certain things that some people can't watch, other people have no difficulty watching, and then those same people couldn't watch something the other people could watch.

51:10 Drew Right, right.

51:10 Adam I wonder if it works that way with the olfactory senses.

51:15 Drew I know that there's a lot of difference there. There's a nasal spray, I use a lot of it, a steroid nasal spray. And to me, it smells like roses, it smells fantastic. And about 30% of the time, I give it to people and they go, Oh my God, it was disgusting. How dare you give me something. It smells so awful.

51:31 Adam Yeah.

51:32 Drew And, you know, so it's a different chemistry.

51:34 Adam Let me go down on her and give you my unbiased opinion, John.

51:39 Drew We have to put ten guys down.

51:42 Adam Let me and some of my buddies go down on her.

51:46 This is my future wife you're talking about.

51:47 Drew Well, she's not your wife now.

51:49 Adam Yeah. Let us get to her before you marry her.

51:53 Drew I think one of the things we advise people to do is to say that you heard us talking about it on Loveline and we decided that we were saying that a funny smell or peculiar smell could mean infection. Just say, hey, I just noticed something.

52:07 Caller Okay. So bring it up that way. It's like a third party.

52:10 I heard it.

52:10 Drew Yeah.

52:10 Caller I didn't actually call him.

52:12 Drew Yeah.

52:12 Right.

52:13 Adam Yes.

52:13 Drew No. Good thinking.

52:15 Adam That probably wouldn't work. John, kind of do it as if you just noticed it.

52:20 Drew Right. Something new.

52:21 Adam Yeah.

52:21 Drew Not even tolerating it for a long time.

52:23 Adam You love her so much. You're going to marry her. You just, you want to make sure she's in good health and see if she can have that checked out.

52:29 Drew And every woman does have their own unique.

52:34 Adam Yeah.

52:35 Drew As do men.

52:37 Adam Yeah.

52:37 Drew And I would imagine that given how different the olfactory functions are, some people that might not mix right. But what I find fascinating is whether or not John fast forward three years, suddenly doesn't smell it anymore. The way you get used to your own smells.

52:53 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I bet he doesn't. I mean, people get used to their kids, right?

52:59 Drew Yeah.

52:59 Adam Change your kid's diaper and that kind of stuff doesn't bother them.

53:02 Drew Right.

53:03 Adam Kids spit gets on them and stuff.

53:05 Drew Listen, I've got to put them right. When they get ready to vomit, I just cut my hands here. Just here you go.

53:10 Adam Drew now just opens his mouth. I mean, this kid's have to vomit like a bird. Yeah. Yeah. Mercer. Yeah. Hey, you're 18. What's up?

53:22 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I have a problem. Sometimes I find myself like attracted to younger girls, like between the ages of 10 and 12.

53:33 Drew That is a problem.

53:33 Caller Yeah.

53:34 Drew Were you abused at that age?

53:37 Caller Honestly, I'm not sure. No, I know I wasn't abused at that age, but between like two and three, there's a missing gap. I don't remember what happened.

53:49 Drew Two and three is an age that many people don't remember.

53:52 Caller Yeah. That's true. But like, for example, me, when I was one, I remembered a lot.

53:58 Drew One?

53:59 Caller Yeah.

53:59 Adam No.

54:01 Caller Yeah.

54:02 Adam I never believed that.

54:03 Drew I really don't. I remember some when I was one.

54:05 Adam Do you?

54:06 Drew I can remember the room I was raised in.

54:08 Adam No.

54:08 Drew I can tell why I remember a lot is because we moved when I was two and I have a lot of memories of that house. Yeah.

54:13 Adam I'm sure you didn't just see it in the Scrant book later on.

54:16 Drew No, because I've never.

54:19 Adam You got to smoke more weed, Drew.

54:20 Caller No.

54:20 Adam Get rid of that one.

54:21 Drew Yeah.

54:22 Caller All right. See, that's the same situation with me because I wasn't really born in this country. But when I was one, I was brought over here to this country and it was like a drastic change for me.

54:33 Drew So you remember.

54:33 Caller Okay.

54:34 Drew Interesting.

54:35 Caller Yeah. And like, I mean, it's like it's not bad that I get the urge to act upon it. But like, when I like masturbate, I think about it.

54:46 Drew Well, you're 18 now.

54:48 Caller Yeah.

54:49 Drew Did anything happen to you when you were 10 or 12?

54:51 Caller No.

54:52 Drew And you're trying to sort of recoup anything, you're trying to get back there.

54:56 Caller No, nothing.

54:57 Adam What's going on in these masturbatorial scenarios?

55:04 Caller Like, just basic, like, my little sister has a sleepover and I'm sitting here, you know, watching a porno or something. Yeah. And one of them comes down and, you know, your first reaction when somebody interrupts you and something like that and you switch your channel. But for some reason, I don't.

55:22 Drew And in your fantasy.

55:25 Caller Right.

55:25 Adam Yeah.

55:26 Caller And instead of her, like, shying away from it and, like, be like, oh, that's disgusting. She, like, sits down right next to me.

55:32 Adam Yeah. Nice 10 year old.

55:34 Caller Yeah. 10, 12 year old.

55:36 Adam How old is your sister?

55:39 Caller My sister's nine.

55:40 Drew Well, here's the deal. You hang on. There are fantasies at this point. You keep watching, see if this doesn't just kind of mature into something different. And if it doesn't, you go talk to someone. Yeah.

55:51 Adam But don't you ever, ever act on it.

55:53 Drew Oh my God.

55:55 Adam No, no. You know, and I'll tell you why. I mean, A, it's wrong. But B, Mercer's not wildly screwed up.

56:05 Drew Right.

56:06 Adam He just got a touch of screwball in him.

56:07 Drew Yeah.

56:08 Adam And if you're really screwed up, you can kill people and eat them. And then, you know, just save, save the vagina and have sex with it. Wear it like a batting donut for a couple of months and sleep like a baby.

56:19 Drew The fact that you thought of the hat disturbs me.

56:22 Adam That's part of being really f-ed up. Yeah, you just not being too bothered or at least bothered, bothered enough by your actions to do them again. But sometimes people are on the cusp. Yeah, Mercer's there and they can slip and have a bad episode. It can haunt them the rest of their life. It can be guilt ridden and the police are worried about the cops and all that good stuff.

56:43 Drew You know, you've been mentioning that a lot last couple of nights. The cops? Well, about being guilt ridden and the police are going to come get you. Is that something you want to tell us?

56:51 Adam Yeah. What do you mean I've been talking about that a lot?

56:55 Drew You mentioned that you've talked vividly about trying to live with the guilt and the fear of somebody walking in or finding you or one of these young girls going home and talking about it.

57:07 Adam How dare you? First off, how dare you? How dare you? Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, you're right. I didn't do it. I didn't do the double clutch. Let me try it again.

57:19 Caller How dare you?

57:22 Adam How dare you?

57:24 Drew How dare you? How dare me?

57:26 Adam Now, I'm just saying, and I've said it a few times, yes, when we're talking about pedophiles and these guys that are in their thirties who screw around with their nieces.

57:37 Drew Don't defend yourself.

57:38 Adam I know. All right.

57:40 Drew I'm just screwing around with you.

57:41 Adam All right, buddy. Easy now. You scare me.

57:47 Drew Stop talking about it.

57:49 Adam Did I protest too much? Yeah. Julie?

57:51 Caller Hi.

57:52 Adam You're 20. What's up?

57:53 Caller Yeah. I am a full-time college student and I also have a part-time job and I smoke pot every day, really consistently. And I'm just wondering, should I be worried about that? Since it's not really changing my lifestyle.

58:08 Adam It's not hurting like when you smoke the weed.

58:12 Caller I'm normally at night time.

58:13 Drew Bedtime.

58:15 Adam Normally. Huh? Always at night or sometimes in the morning?

58:19 Caller Sometimes not in the morning. It's not like when I wake up, but sometimes late afternoon and almost always at night.

58:26 Drew So it's a couple of times a day.

58:28 Caller Not, well, probably once or twice a week, a couple of times a day, but...

58:31 Adam Listen, for me, whatever drugs you do or booze you do, whatever it is you do, hey, if you can do it at night when you're done with a good productive day of school and work, I'm all right with that. I mean, as long as it's not heroin.

58:44 Drew Well, I got to tell you that a significant number of alcoholics that I've treated, and I would dare say some of the marijuana addicts start using these drugs to go to sleep. That's where they start.

58:58 Caller I started in high school pretty much like for recreation.

59:01 Drew Well, Julie, if you're a marijuana addict, you start pow because it's so powerfully euphoric. The second or third time, you get high, and man, that's it. That's all you can think about from then on, and you will use it either a lot or moderately or just daily for years and years and years, and it will take many years before the consequences will start to come to bear. You'll start getting depressed, becoming irritable, having problems with memory, and then it will come. That will come.

59:28 Adam Do you want to quit?

59:29 Caller Um, I, in the future, I really would like to be a family.

59:33 Drew Julie, Julie, yeah, you don't want to quit right now.

59:36 Caller Um, no, no, no.

59:36 Drew No, and that's fine, and it's good, but know that there will come a time when you will really have to take this very seriously.

59:43 Caller Okay.

59:44 Drew Because it doesn't stop. It does not stop. This is something that has to be treated.

59:48 Adam Hey, Julie.

59:49 Caller Yeah.

59:49 Adam In the meantime, can you treat it like the reward that you give yourself at the end of a long day and not in the middle of it?

59:57 Caller Yeah. Well, normally that's kind of how I feel. I feel like as long as I'm doing well in school and I keep a good job, I'm not too stressed about the effects of it at the moment. So that's I kind of just do it before I go to bed after I know that I.

1:00:10 Caller All right.

1:00:11 Adam What do you do? How long before you go to bed do you get stoned?

1:00:14 Caller Um, well, normally while I'm listening to you guys, and then I'll go to bed probably an hour after the show is over.

1:00:20 Adam Makes the show better, right?

1:00:22 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:00:23 Drew The significant effects, it's real, what's extraordinary about this drug is how variable the time interval is between the onset of the daily use and the real significant effects.

1:00:33 Adam Yeah.

1:00:33 Drew Some people's one year, some people's 30 years.

1:00:36 Adam Well.

1:00:36 Drew It's very interesting.

1:00:37 Adam Right. And you take a drug like Speed.

1:00:39 Drew It's faster. Always.

1:00:41 Adam Yeah. That's like, you know, five weeks of doing Speed.

1:00:44 Drew You're, you're, you're gonna, you're gonna, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

1:00:46 Adam Some people smoke weed for 20 years.

1:00:48 Drew Same thing with alcohol. People can control it and kind of moderate it for years and years and years. Then all of a sudden the consequences come to bear if they have the gene and Julie's got the gene.

1:00:56 Adam But if you got the gene, how can you moderate for 20 years?

1:01:02 Drew Every alcoholic goes through a period.

1:01:03 Adam Because part, I know there's a period, but 20 years, pretty long period.

1:01:06 Drew Here's the, there's two elements of the gene. One is these drugs have very powerful, positive. Oh, that's good radio.

1:01:17 Adam That was pretty Freudian there. Drew just held his hand up. He took all his fingers down except for his middle two, and then he lowered the index.

1:01:27 Drew Leaving.

1:01:27 Adam Just give me the bird. One is, and he was just shaking his FU finger at me.

1:01:36 Drew We'll give it the old referee sign. Right. One is that when you have the gene, these chemicals have a very powerful euphoric effect. They're very positive. They really work. That's why people use them.

1:01:48 Adam Right.

1:01:48 Drew And so that will remain constant. So somebody that can control their use for periods of time will use it because it works for them. The problem with this drug, part of the gene also is that eventually you hit a threshold where a switch is thrown, and now it goes on in spite of it no longer working, in spite of anything, it progresses.

1:02:07 Adam Right. And that switch could be thrown at any time.

1:02:09 Drew At any time.

1:02:11 Adam So you're really saying that the alcoholic genes, it was like a two-part thing. It's probably multiple parts, but the first is I love it, and the second is eventually it's not going to work for you.

1:02:21 Drew It's not working for me, but I can't stop. Right.

1:02:26 Adam Good times. Melissa?

1:02:28 Caller Hello.

1:02:29 Adam Hello.

1:02:30 Caller Hi.

1:02:30 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

1:02:32 Caller Right.

1:02:33 Caller Well, I like, I have a dog, and I let her lick my genital area, and I'm wondering how I can stop doing that, because I know it's not normal.

1:02:48 Adam Yeah. You let her do it or you get her to do it?

1:02:52 Caller Well, I get her to do it.

1:02:54 Adam How do you get her to do it?

1:02:57 Caller Well, I just, like, like, lay down and, like, I can put something there or...

1:03:04 Adam Yeah, what do you put there? A little pate?

1:03:08 Caller Well, I just, like...

1:03:11 Drew We're just curious.

1:03:14 Caller Well, like, like peanut butter.

1:03:16 Adam Oh, really?

1:03:17 Caller Right.

1:03:18 Caller Hmm.

1:03:18 Drew I'm just thinking that commercial.

1:03:20 Adam Yeah, with that. Oh, I see. Now that I really I can watch. I mean, I've got snuff films. I watch Mexican snuff films, but I see that milk commercial where that dog eats a mouthful of peanut butter is chomping away. Walk away. I got I got to run from the TV. OK, so you put you really put some peanut butter down there?

1:03:42 Caller Yeah.

1:03:43 Adam Really?

1:03:44 Caller Right.

1:03:45 Adam Smooth or chunky?

1:03:47 Caller Well, smooth.

1:03:48 Adam Yeah, smart.

1:03:49 Drew Be serious.

1:03:49 Adam And then you lie down.

1:03:50 Drew How dare you?

1:03:52 Adam It makes a difference. Smooth is a better call.

1:03:54 Drew Chunky is kind of a mess.

1:03:55 Adam I like chunky better. I don't trust people. For me, people get smooth peanut butter like people who order thick crust pizza. Don't trust them. These are the same people who order a hot dog with nothing but ketchup. Don't trust those people at all. But you put it on there and you just lie down on the floor.

1:04:11 Caller OK, yes. And I really am serious.

1:04:14 Adam I know. The dog comes up and licks you. And do you have an orgasm?

1:04:17 Caller Yes.

1:04:18 Adam How long does it take?

1:04:20 Caller Well, it doesn't take like very long.

1:04:23 Adam I see.

1:04:24 Drew Are there other things you could maybe start to do on your own? You know what I mean? That doesn't include another being?

1:04:30 Adam Yeah, like put some peanut butter on a vibrator or something. Oh, wait, you don't even need the peanut butter at that point, right?

1:04:35 Drew Whatever.

1:04:35 Caller I have done other things.

1:04:39 Drew Let's sort of look at the big picture here. Do you have normal relationships?

1:04:43 Caller Well, I don't really have many relationships.

1:04:45 Drew How come?

1:04:47 Caller Just because, well.

1:04:51 Drew How come?

1:04:55 Caller Well, I kind of like, like I like men, but I've been like hurt by men a lot, so I don't.

1:05:06 Adam What do they do to you?

1:05:09 Caller Well, I have a path of like, like molestation and stuff, but.

1:05:13 Drew Molestation, yeah. And were you abandoned when you were a kid? Were you left alone for a long period of time?

1:05:20 Caller No, but my parents are like, like drug addicts and stuff.

1:05:27 Drew Okay.

1:05:27 Adam There we go.

1:05:28 Drew And when she was abused, when she was a kid, she was sexually abused.

1:05:30 Adam Who sexually abused you?

1:05:35 Caller Different people and my dad and stuff.

1:05:37 Adam Oh, boy.

1:05:38 Drew And are you in treatment? Have you been in treatment?

1:05:43 Caller Like support groups and stuff?

1:05:44 Drew No, I mean like a psychiatrist.

1:05:46 Caller What? I'm sorry, what?

1:05:47 Drew A psychiatrist.

1:05:48 Caller No.

1:05:49 Drew Never?

1:05:50 Caller Well, I went to counseling for like four months and that's it.

1:05:53 Adam You ever see that movie Air Bud?

1:05:55 Caller No.

1:05:58 Adam You need to talk to a therapist, Melissa.

1:06:00 Drew Well, I think she needs to see a psychiatrist because this is-

1:06:02 Adam Could be all chemical imbalance?

1:06:04 Drew Well, it's a more, she needs a more thorough assessment. She may need a therapist.

1:06:09 Caller I do like other things like-

1:06:12 Drew No, I'm sure of it.

1:06:12 Caller Like I cut on myself.

1:06:13 Drew Yeah, okay, here we go.

1:06:15 Adam Yeah. Now, are you functional? Are you working? Are you out of the house?

1:06:18 Caller I work and I go to school and stuff.

1:06:19 Drew Yeah, but you can't have relationships yet, right? That's too vulnerable, too painful. And if you really want to get on in your life and-

1:06:27 Caller Right, and I'm like really standoffish.

1:06:29 Caller I'm like-

1:06:29 Drew I'm sure. People have been awful to you.

1:06:32 Adam Hey, Melissa-

1:06:33 Drew People that are responsible to take care of you.

1:06:35 Adam Listen to me for a second. I'm a genius. First off, clean up good if you ever go to a gynecologist. They find peanut butter down there. They're going to call the Humane Society. Betty White's going to be over with a shotgun full of Roxal. You have been horribly traumatized and it is affecting your adult life. You're good and functional. That's the good news.

1:06:58 Drew That's nice.

1:06:59 Caller But I don't think I will ever-

1:07:03 Adam Oh, yes, you will be.

1:07:05 Drew Yeah, you will if you get some help.

1:07:07 Adam You got to treat it like a second job.

1:07:09 Caller Like how Adam says, you know, that these people just need to be- Never have kids and-

1:07:14 Drew Yeah, yeah, that's right. But they did have kids.

1:07:19 Adam No, she's talking about her.

1:07:20 Caller I'm one of those people and I don't-

1:07:21 Adam Oh, she never had kids. Listen, Melissa, listen. You are one of those people right now. No, you shouldn't have kids. No, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Yes, not now. But if you get some help and you get some therapy and you do the work that's required, you can have a good life and a family and a loving family and a wonderful, productive life. You really can't. And you can't stay home and feel sorry for yourself. You have to treat it like it's an illness in a way and you have to go to work on it.

1:07:58 Drew Yeah.

1:07:59 Caller So how do I find a psychiatrist?

1:08:02 Drew I mean, you live in Seattle. Yeah, University of Washington has one of the world renowned department of psychiatry. You just head over there and then get a relationship with someone and see where we can take you because this needs treatment. You need some help. And the fact that you've gone this far without any kind of intervention is remarkable and shows just the kind of fortitude you have. And she sounds like she has a great constitution, doesn't she? I mean, she should really be far less well off than she is.

1:08:27 Adam Listen, I've said it many times. My dad missed a couple of Pop Warner football games and I'm still not right. Therapy, how many years off and on?

1:08:39 Drew Fourteen years.

1:08:43 Adam How dare you? But of course, you're not feeling right. You were victimized by your horrible, horrible dad and his friends and your parents. And everything's a mess. You can get yourself right and just work on it. It's all right. It's not a death sentence. Let's take a little break here, Drew, and we'll be back with you after this.

1:09:07 Caller LoveLine with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:09:09 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:09:23 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio.

1:09:26 Caller 100.7 The Buzz.

1:09:38 Drew Hey, maybe get the whole hood.

1:09:39 Adam All right. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Damn show, interrupting our spirited conversation about cars. We, you know, Drew and I both are car enthusiasts because...

1:09:53 Drew We are. This is the only time of the night, these three-minute interludes we have, the only time testosterone actually surges in my veins.

1:10:02 Adam When I force you to talk about my car?

1:10:04 Drew Yeah, that's it, my life.

1:10:07 Adam You know, we have, Drew, I've really turned you into a man, haven't I? Slowly. Thank you. John?

1:10:13 Yeah.

1:10:13 Adam You're 29?

1:10:14 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:10:15 Adam Hey.

1:10:16 Caller Drew, I got to give you a big shout out and I thank you. I'm graduated from medical school in a couple weeks. Congratulations.

1:10:22 Drew A couple months.

1:10:23 Caller Thank you.

1:10:23 Drew Great.

1:10:24 Caller And I just got to tell you, I basically started listening to you guys probably four years ago or something like that. I have learned so much from you over the past few years.

1:10:31 Drew Oh, awesome.

1:10:32 Caller I mean, I remember particularly different instances when I was taking step one of the boards, a couple of questions they were asking and I just remember hearing you say it like two to three weeks before so I got them right.

1:10:43 Drew Wow. That's awesome.

1:10:45 Caller Just a little stuff. I really wanted to say a big thank you on this your melancholic night.

1:10:49 Drew Thank you, John. Are you at the University of Arizona?

1:10:52 Caller No, I'm actually, I'm just doing my clinical rotations out here. I go to school out in Pomona, actually.

1:10:57 Drew Pomona? At Cal Poly?

1:11:00 Caller Western.

1:11:01 Drew Oh, I see a Western. So you're at the University of Arizona doing their rotations?

1:11:06 Caller Yeah, I'm rotating at the county hospitals out here.

1:11:08 Drew I know. Good times.

1:11:09 Adam That's a residency?

1:11:11 Drew No, he's just still doing his clinical rotations.

1:11:12 Adam What is a clinical rotation?

1:11:14 Caller It's going into internal medicine.

1:11:16 Drew Good luck. It's very similar to what you do as a resident. You just further down the totem pole. Your responsibilities are not as- You're doing more grunt work. People are telling you to jump into piles of crap.

1:11:27 Caller Yeah, I get to go get the lunch for the residents.

1:11:30 Drew Quite literally.

1:11:31 Caller Wow.

1:11:33 Drew And the buck doesn't stop with you so much, but you run around doing it.

1:11:36 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:11:38 Caller All right.

1:11:38 Adam Well, thanks for saying that because Drew's having a tough night tonight.

1:11:41 Caller Yeah, we'll perk him up a bit.

1:11:43 Adam Hey, I'm doing the best I can over here.

1:11:45 Caller I know you're working on it, but keep going.

1:11:46 Adam I can only stroke the guy so much.

1:11:48 Caller We're going to hear about that, though.

1:11:50 Adam All right, John, thanks. Thanks for the words of comfort.

1:11:52 Drew Take care.

1:11:53 Adam All right. Good times there. Let's talk to Brittany. Brittany?

1:11:58 Caller Yeah.

1:11:58 Adam Fifteen, what's up?

1:12:01 Caller Okay.

1:12:03 Caller I'm sure you've heard of Jay Gordon from the band Orgy.

1:12:07 Drew Didn't we have him over here? Yeah.

1:12:09 Caller Yeah, you did.

1:12:10 Drew No, we're looking at cable that he brought for us.

1:12:13 Adam Orgy gave us our mic cords.

1:12:14 Caller Yeah.

1:12:15 Caller See, I'm pretty much in love with lead singer. It's like gone past obsession.

1:12:21 Drew In what sense? What do you mean past obsession?

1:12:24 Caller Well, I mean, like first it was just, you know, like, I don't know, like I like the glam rock and everything. And it was a regular just liking the music. But now I found out like so much information about him. I know more than anybody does about him. And it's gotten to the point where it's like, all I can think about all I can talk about. And I honestly think that I'm going to meet him and that he'll find some interest in me or something.

1:12:51 Drew No, that's normal for your age. It really is.

1:12:53 Adam He's too tall for you.

1:12:55 Caller Oh, I know.

1:12:55 Drew And he wears too much makeup.

1:12:57 Caller No, no, that's fine. See, and I'm not...

1:13:01 Drew He's bisexual.

1:13:04 Caller No, he's not.

1:13:04 Adam Well, Drew said he was bisexual.

1:13:06 Drew No, that was Andy.

1:13:07 Caller Is he?

1:13:08 Drew No, Brittany, listen. He's, we actually like those guys a lot.

1:13:12 Adam I like the lads from Orgy quite a bit because they're really nice guys. It's so nice that when they when I guess it was Jay heard that we were having some difficulty when he was here looking at it, he goes, look at that cables crap you guys have equipment over here. He how do you get these cables over here, Anderson?

1:13:32 Drew I actually used to kind of hang out with them before he was in Orgy. So he had me go over to his house and pick them up.

1:13:37 Adam Really? Just gave you some cords, got you high quick handy and I went over like five, you just waking up and there was cords and just equipment everywhere.

1:13:46 Drew His apartment was just it looked like this place.

1:13:49 Adam Well, so Anderson knows where he lives. Brandy, what do you think of that?

1:13:52 Caller Oh, my God.

1:13:53 Adam Yeah, big rock star. Well, OK, so how's the rest of your life going?

1:14:00 Caller It's fine.

1:14:01 Caller But it's like whenever like he was just on Charmed tonight and I was watching it and it's like I it's like something was missing. Like I'm not going to have satisfaction until I meet him.

1:14:12 Drew Are you a little depressed, too?

1:14:15 Caller Yeah, no, I get depressed like I see him.

1:14:17 Drew Yeah, but you're depressed in general.

1:14:19 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've had a lot of problems.

1:14:22 Drew Yeah. And this is just a manifestation of that. And it's a it's age appropriate. It's sort of normal. The bigger problem here is you just dealing with your mood and making sure you find other ways to nurture yourself, finds a way to engage with your friends, to get a clearer sense of yourself and be productive. And you solve those things, you do those things. Magically, these obsessions tend to settle down.

1:14:45 Adam Do you ever get that way, Drew? Growing up, anything?

1:14:48 Drew Yeah, I remember me a little.

1:14:48 Adam Bobby Sherman?

1:14:49 Drew Linda Blair, remember that?

1:14:50 Adam Oh, you were into Linda Blair? Oh, you're crazy about Linda Blair. How old were you?

1:14:54 Drew Oh, like 14 or something.

1:14:57 Adam Oh, you were a little bit older. And you'd seen The Exorcist?

1:15:01 Drew Yeah.

1:15:01 Adam What did you see her on?

1:15:02 Drew The Exorcist. I'm trying to remember this now. Yeah, The Exorcist.

1:15:06 Adam And you got really... Now, when you saw Exorcist, you were what? How old?

1:15:10 Drew 14, 15.

1:15:11 Adam And Linda Blair was?

1:15:12 Drew Same, same age, something like that.

1:15:14 Adam 13?

1:15:14 Drew Yeah.

1:15:15 Adam Maybe she's a year or two younger than you?

1:15:16 Drew I think the same age.

1:15:18 Adam All right. And you became obsessed with her?

1:15:21 Drew Kind of.

1:15:21 Adam You ever do anything? Wrote any letters?

1:15:24 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:15:25 Adam Ask her any...

1:15:27 Drew But I remember that feeling. I was depressed. I was depressed.

1:15:30 Adam Anderson wants to know if you ever tried to dress yourself up like a crucifix. So maybe she'd use you in some unholy way. You'd probably get screwed and go foot first. You're depressed, right? And you're obsessed with Linda Blair. No letters, no headshots, no books, no posters, no nothing.

1:15:48 Drew No nothing. But that was a manifestation of my depression.

1:15:50 Adam Yeah. It always happens. I mean, whenever you see these stockers or these guys, they're not Aldocelli. They're not out getting laid and at the talk of the town. They're home and depressed and they got plenty of time to plot and think about things.

1:16:07 Caller Yeah.

1:16:09 Drew You know, I remember I used to get little kind of crushes too on television, things like that. But they, I just remember that feeling, that feeling of thinking about somebody out in the media all the time. And how desperate that felt and awful. And it really was just a deflection from feeling just jostling.

1:16:24 Adam Yeah. And you knew you're never going to meet them. And you knew they could care less about you. And they didn't know you from Adam or Drew. Kelly?

1:16:34 Caller Yeah.

1:16:35 Adam You're 19?

1:16:36 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:16:37 Caller What's up?

1:16:39 Caller I feel really bad because I listen to your guys' show every single night for like five years. And I feel like I should be able to answer my own question. But it's really bad. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I'm actually due next month. And I'm not with the father anymore because of a whole dramatic situation with a 17 year old girl and everything.

1:16:58 Drew But how old is the dad?

1:17:01 Caller He's 23.

1:17:02 Drew Are you shocked that he's with a 17 year old?

1:17:05 Caller He actually has broken up with her since.

1:17:07 Drew Yeah. But are you shocked that he was 17 when after all, you were 18 when he got you pregnant?

1:17:12 Caller No. OK.

1:17:14 Drew All right. So you just a big a hole. We got that.

1:17:17 Caller Yeah. It makes me kind of worry about what kind of person I am to choose someone like that.

1:17:22 Caller But that's not the point.

1:17:24 Drew Listen, just keep those thoughts, because that's an excellent way to to think about things. So sort of really evaluate yourself.

1:17:29 Adam It's important to beat yourself up.

1:17:31 Drew Not beat yourself up. No, no, no, no. But to be keep your eyes open to see if there are things about us, emotions we can't control.

1:17:38 Caller Yeah.

1:17:38 Drew It's a good, you know, is there something going on? It's a good question.

1:17:41 Caller Yeah. But my biggest problem now is probably for the last four months, I read into a guy who seems absolutely really extremely great, except for the fact that he's been with his girlfriend for four and a half years. And that, I mean, he says flat out that there that he doesn't see himself marrying her, but he doesn't want to leave the situation because he's comfortable enough to be used to.

1:18:04 Drew And you want to have a relationship with this guy?

1:18:06 Adam He's a real sweet talker, this chap.

1:18:08 Drew Yeah, what do you even consider? What are you doing?

1:18:11 Adam Well, hold on. She's pregnant. She's desperate. How old is this guy?

1:18:16 Caller He's 25. And he works in construction. When I first met him, I was like, I can't talk to you. Adam would be so disappointed in me.

1:18:25 Adam Yeah, construction. Horrible, horrible men.

1:18:28 Drew With an old lady and probably some kids.

1:18:32 Caller No, actually, they don't. She's almost 30, actually. And they don't have any kids.

1:18:37 Adam All right.

1:18:38 Caller Yeah, it's a good situation, actually.

1:18:40 Drew A good situation.

1:18:41 Caller They're like roommates, kind of.

1:18:42 Adam Well, now, how?

1:18:43 Drew Oh, please, Kelly.

1:18:45 Adam Yeah, roommates who are boff every night. Yeah. How often do you see this guy? And where do you see him?

1:18:52 Caller I see him every day. He calls me as soon as he gets home from work. He comes over every day. He hangs out with me every single night. I mean, we do stuff tomorrow. We have plans in the afternoon. We're going to go on to the river. It's just nice.

1:19:03 Adam Oh, the river. Let me explain the white trash pecking order. OK, it goes like this. It goes ocean.

1:19:15 Drew The ocean is not white trash, though, is it? No, but here you're camping at the ocean.

1:19:19 Adam Here's the aquatic. Here's the aquatic pecking order. Ocean, lake, river. River is at the bottom. Folks that head down, that is albino, translucent white trash shows people go down to the river. They get that 12-pack of hams and they put it out in the stream, fire up the ski-doo, smoke some weed, and maybe they get on an ATV, pull a brody on that and get trapped under it. You have to be airlifted out. Yeah, go into the river, baby. What the hell is up with that?

1:19:57 Caller I know, I know.

1:19:59 Adam What's at that river? A bunch of other, a bunch of other hashers, right? Listening to Ario Speedwagon from their four-wheel drive.

1:20:06 Drew Let me clarify this. When are you going to the river?

1:20:08 Caller Tomorrow afternoon.

1:20:10 Drew Nine months pregnant and you're going to the river?

1:20:12 Caller Well, it's not, it's not as if, I mean, I live really close to the river actually. It's not as if it's like a, you know, a three-hour trip. We're just going to take dogs, his dogs actually, and just go hang out.

1:20:23 Adam Okay, now what does his old lady say about this? I mean, how does she let him get away with this?

1:20:30 Caller She's so wonderful. It's really terrible. But I see her almost as often as I see him because I go over to his house and hang out with him there too.

1:20:39 Drew You know what?

1:20:39 Caller No idea.

1:20:40 Caller There's no idea.

1:20:42 Drew There's something very bizarre here.

1:20:43 Adam I'm starting to come back with Kelly a little bit. I mean, there's something going on with his old lady and him.

1:20:49 Drew But you know what?

1:20:50 Adam Kind of weird arrangement or something.

1:20:52 Drew Not good. Whatever it is, it's diabolical. You know what I'm saying? Whatever this is, this is not a good situation. It's too weird. Yeah. Hey, I'm going to have my new girlfriend come over and visit us.

1:21:04 Adam She's nine months pregnant.

1:21:05 Drew Nine months pregnant. And we're going to take my dogs down to the river.

1:21:07 Adam All right. Do you guys do anything? Do you have a physical relationship with him?

1:21:12 Caller Yeah.

1:21:13 Adam You just give you get moral sex.

1:21:15 Caller No, actually, it's it's been kind of like a friendship exchange of physical contact being that I'm this pregnant. I mean, I'm hormonal and and I have sexual needs, too. But we actually we met through my cousin. We went to a monster truck rally.

1:21:36 Adam Oh, you know, you know what I love about this monster truck rally. I love it when guys out in the crowd get drunk and get in a fist fight. Say, you, you're a Dodge man or you're a Mopar man. I'm a Chevy man. You got something to say.

1:21:52 Caller Ford kicked Chevy's ass.

1:21:54 Adam Oh, yeah. Bring it on. Let me tell you, the Grave Digger, that's got a Mopar, that's got a blown Hemi Big Block Mopar, it's a Chrysler Powerplant and a Grave Digger would kick Bigfoot's ass. All right. Bigfoot's got the 454 Ford. No Hemi.

1:22:14 Drew No Hemi.

1:22:15 Caller Oh my God.

1:22:16 Adam Isn't that what goes on there?

1:22:18 Caller Yeah.

1:22:19 Caller Yeah.

1:22:19 Caller A lot of that.

1:22:21 Adam You know, this is like the movie Mask. You got to raise your kid with a bunch of crazed white trash bikers arguing over engines and going down to the river.

1:22:32 Caller But it's guys that are like that.

1:22:35 Caller I mean, you have a lot of those same qualities yourself. They're manly, working on their car and their garage.

1:22:40 Adam Yeah, that's true. That's true. All right. Thank you, baby. You may be right. Yeah, I did know some of them.

1:22:47 Drew I'm not disturbed about the cultural context of this relationship. I know that I should be Adam being very insightful and a product of that culture. I'm concerned about this relationship he's maintaining. There's something, something is rotten there. I don't know what they're up to, but they're up to something, whether they're trying to reel you into a threesome or I don't know what it is, but there is something up there.

1:23:10 Adam I think it's a big time, big time. I think they're going to sacrificially destroy the baby. That's what they're looking for. Listen, yeah, this is like Rosemary's baby.

1:23:23 Drew Adam, who the hell knows? But she's like, there's something going on here. It's too bizarre, right?

1:23:28 Adam On behalf of the child, don't hang around this idiot anymore. Take a couple months off, have the kid, get yourself back in shape, find yourself a nice guy. There you go, went down to the monster truck round. We'll take ourselves a break, and we'll be back after this. Yep, Loveline. It's me and that's him over there. Let's get back into the phones here, Melancholy Drew, and see what we can do. Megan?

1:24:21 Caller Yeah.

1:24:21 Adam You're 21, toots.

1:24:23 Caller I sure am. I actually, I had a story for Dr. Drew cause he's all melancholy.

1:24:27 Caller Thank you.

1:24:28 Caller About a month ago, I have an 18 month old daughter, and I started listening to Loveline while I was getting her to go to sleep cause it's really boring.

1:24:35 Drew Cause Loveline's really boring?

1:24:37 Caller Cause getting her to go to sleep is really boring.

1:24:39 Caller Cause she won't go to sleep by the way.

1:24:41 Caller I have to walk around with her. Anyway, like a week ago, she started banging on the gate to get downstairs, and that's where her bedroom is. And so I come downstairs with her, she goes into her bedroom, she starts pointing to the radio and saying, Dadoo, Dadoo. What is Dadoo? So I turn on the radio, it's key to Loveline, and she hears Dr. Drew's voice, and she says, Dadoo, Dadoo.

1:25:06 Adam You sure she wasn't saying Rick Dees?

1:25:09 Caller I'm pretty sure. But I just wanted to call and let you know that.

1:25:14 Drew Well, that is a sweet story. I'm feeling better already.

1:25:17 Adam Some of her first words were, Thank you, Megan. Dadoo. That's nice, Megan.

1:25:22 Caller Well, thanks, you guys.

1:25:24 Adam Thanks, Megan.

1:25:25 Drew Take care.

1:25:25 Caller Have a good night.

1:25:26 Drew I will now, thanks.

1:25:27 Adam All right. See, there you go.

1:25:28 Drew I feel better.

1:25:29 Adam Dadoo. Jessie.

1:25:30 Caller Hey.

1:25:31 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:25:32 Caller Okay. I actually have two questions. But my first one is a concern for my older sister. She's 33 and she had met this guy out there internet and he's into domination. He thinks he's a vampire.

1:25:49 Drew Oh boy.

1:25:50 Caller Oh.

1:25:51 Caller So they, and he's younger than her and he works. Well, anyways, that's irrelevant.

1:25:56 Drew She's 33 and he is?

1:25:59 Caller I think he's in his 20s.

1:26:00 Drew Like 21, 22?

1:26:02 Caller Older than me. He's like 25.

1:26:04 Drew Vampires live past 24.

1:26:06 Adam Well, they die, but they come back.

1:26:08 Drew That's the point.

1:26:08 Adam As the undead.

1:26:10 Drew At 3,000 years. Oh yeah.

1:26:12 Caller Well, they started getting together. He started going down from where he lived to where she lived.

1:26:17 Adam What does he do for a living?

1:26:18 Caller He works for US. He works for USA today.

1:26:22 Adam Nice.

1:26:23 Drew Doing what?

1:26:24 Adam Well, he's got a column, a choculus column.

1:26:28 Caller He's really, they're into a whole dominant thing. And it's getting to where he's making her abuse herself. And he's getting really abusive towards her.

1:26:41 Adam How do you know about this, Jessie?

1:26:42 Caller Because she calls me and she tells me. And I don't know if she wants out.

1:26:46 Adam She tells you the intimate details of their sexual life?

1:26:49 Caller Yes.

1:26:49 Drew Does she want out?

1:26:51 Caller You know, she calls me and she tells me about it. But she says she loves him.

1:26:56 Drew Does she want out?

1:26:57 Caller He's just like, I don't know if she wants out.

1:27:00 Drew Okay. Well, you know what?

1:27:02 Adam What does he have her do?

1:27:05 Caller Well, okay. When I went down there, he would make her go into the bedroom and like abuse herself.

1:27:11 Drew What does that mean?

1:27:12 Caller Like hit herself and cut herself.

1:27:14 Adam Oh, I thought you meant like watch UPN or something. You mean she has to cut and smack herself?

1:27:21 Caller Yeah. And just like do and say horrible things to herself. He's actually like made her write fantasies about me and her together with him and like her and my mother.

1:27:31 Drew I like, oh, come on. This is an awful, sick, disturbing, violent, vile situation.

1:27:38 Caller Yeah.

1:27:39 Drew So get yourself out of it. Set some limits with her.

1:27:44 Caller I don't know how to do that.

1:27:45 Drew Well, don't participate in this. Listen, she can do, she's a grown up. She can do what she wants, but you should not participate.

1:27:51 Caller But I'm afraid she's going to feel bad because she was adopted and we like.

1:27:54 Drew Well, you know what?

1:27:55 Adam How old was she when she was adopted?

1:27:58 Caller She was four.

1:27:59 Caller Four, about four.

1:28:00 Adam No, Drew, everybody. Four, yeah. That is a mess. Because God knows what she got pulled out of.

1:28:09 Caller Yeah.

1:28:10 Adam I'm guessing.

1:28:11 Caller Well, she came from a good family.

1:28:12 Adam No way.

1:28:14 Drew A good family leaves a four year old.

1:28:15 Adam What good family throws out a four year old?

1:28:17 Caller Well, my mother didn't throw her out. My mother was 16. Well, my mother had her when she was 13.

1:28:25 Drew Mother had her when she was 13?

1:28:27 Caller 13.

1:28:28 Adam Hold on. Didn't we adopt her?

1:28:30 Caller No, we didn't adopt her. We just found her.

1:28:32 Caller She was adopted out.

1:28:34 Drew Amy just recently came around to finding her again.

1:28:36 Caller Yeah.

1:28:37 Drew She was adopted out to another family when your mom was 13.

1:28:40 Caller No, when my mother was 16. But my mother.

1:28:42 Adam Your mom kept her for a few years.

1:28:44 Drew And then let her go. Oh, that is bad news when that happens to kids.

1:28:48 Adam And and and something's what's up with your mom? My mom is I know she was young, but still, that's that's screwing.

1:28:56 Caller She was her birth kid when she was 12 and her second was.

1:28:57 Drew No. Oh, my God, Jessie.

1:29:00 Caller She ran. She was just, you know, she was on heroin for 20 something years.

1:29:04 Adam All right. But a good family.

1:29:05 Drew Yeah, great family.

1:29:07 Adam Oh, baby. Why aren't you in worse shape?

1:29:11 Caller Well, there's a second question.

1:29:12 Drew Well, no, no, she's a she's a so codependent. Yeah, so codependent. You can't even tell your sister, hey, cut that crap out. Get out of here. I won't have anything to do with this.

1:29:21 Caller Well, I'm afraid that she'll fill up in.

1:29:23 Drew Listen, Jessie, that's what codependency is. I'm afraid if I don't rescue her, she'll die.

1:29:29 Caller Well, because I know how it is.

1:29:30 Drew And you know what? You keep them sick. You keep them sick and then they do die. What you got to do is wake them up and create a loss that perhaps makes them acknowledge the reality of what they're doing.

1:29:42 Adam Hey, your mom had a kid at 12 and 13? Yeah. All right, she's a disaster. God, what's she doing now?

1:29:50 Caller Now, she has 11-year-old daughter and she's actually getting married tomorrow for the seventh time.

1:29:57 Adam How many kids does that bitch have?

1:30:00 Caller My mom has eight kids.

1:30:02 Drew Oh my God.

1:30:02 Adam Somebody should have sterilized her years ago. Oh my God, she's polluting the planet.

1:30:10 Drew What happened to the baby that she had when she was 12?

1:30:13 Caller That went to the same family my sister went to.

1:30:16 Drew What happened to that baby?

1:30:18 Caller We don't know. She doesn't want anything to do with my mother or any of the other children.

1:30:23 Adam Your mom's not her mom. She's just this biological factory that spits out kids and then she hands them out.

1:30:29 Caller Yeah, well her mother did the same thing.

1:30:31 Adam Of course. Don't take this the wrong way, but someone should have killed your family off a long time ago. And I mean that with utmost respect. I really do.

1:30:43 Drew And caring.

1:30:44 Adam I hope you're taking that in the context in which it's meant. But somebody should have snuffed them out when they got off the Mayflower. Jesus Christ. All right, baby. Do you have kids?

1:30:55 Caller No.

1:30:55 Adam Oh, thank God you're lesbian.

1:30:58 Caller I actually...

1:30:59 Adam Something wrong with your tubes?

1:31:00 Caller No.

1:31:01 Adam What's wrong with you?

1:31:02 Caller No, I just... I'm not ready for...

1:31:04 Adam Yes.

1:31:05 Caller I'm starting college soon.

1:31:06 Adam Good, baby. Yes.

1:31:08 Drew Set some limits with your sister. Come on.

1:31:10 Adam Oh, my God. I'd love to see some sort of chart to see what...

1:31:15 Drew Where it's been.

1:31:16 Adam What mama's done and what mama's cost me, by the way. Crank. Listen, let's all live in a society, by the way, that when a kid has a kid at 12, that somebody gets on her, makes it their job to make sure that this kid ain't pregnant at 13, 14, 15, 8 god damn kids. Oh, my God.

1:31:40 Caller All right.

1:31:40 Adam Stay away from this girl. Tell her what you think and then stay away.

1:31:45 Drew Steve?

1:31:46 Caller Hello? Yes.

1:31:47 Drew Steve is 17.

1:31:48 Caller How's it going?

1:31:49 Adam Turn the radio down, please, Steve.

1:31:51 Caller Okay.

1:31:52 Drew What's going on?

1:31:53 Caller I have a question. My girlfriend has hemorrhoids.

1:31:56 Drew Yeah.

1:31:56 Caller And we've had plenty of sex before, but like now I don't know where they came from.

1:32:01 Adam She just I guess in her ass, but she's grew up.

1:32:05 Caller Yeah, I know. Well, we have sex, but like we're really concerned about her getting pregnant. And like my parents don't they're really against me having sex. And I really like we're trying to keep it secret from them.

1:32:16 Caller Mm hmm.

1:32:17 Caller And we.

1:32:18 Adam I see. Yeah, I can't get over the commotion in the background. What is going on back there?

1:32:24 Caller There's nothing in the background.

1:32:25 Drew Who is yelling, Louis?

1:32:26 Adam Nothing going on.

1:32:26 Drew No, no, no. Steve, I want to ask. I mean, ask a question. Interesting.

1:32:31 Adam I'm hanging up.

1:32:32 Drew Ask the question quick.

1:32:33 Caller Yes.

1:32:33 Drew What's your question?

1:32:35 Caller My question is, my girlfriend had hemorrhoids and one of if we have sex, is there somehow a way I can get them from her if we have unprotected sex?

1:32:44 Drew So if you have anal intercourse with her, are you going to catch hemorrhoids?

1:32:48 Caller She told me she had yeast infection before and her boyfriend got it.

1:32:52 Adam Hold on. Hold on. I'm going insane. What is going on in the background?

1:32:56 Caller Nothing's in the background.

1:32:57 Adam Is something...

1:32:58 Drew TV?

1:32:58 Caller The TV?

1:33:00 Caller Well, the TV's on the other room.

1:33:04 Adam Listen, when I can clearly hear other voices shouting in the back and Starsky and Hutch playing in the background and I keep asking you what it is and you continue to ignore it, I will hang up on your squirrely ass.

1:33:19 Drew Let's answer his squirrely ass about his girlfriend's ass with his true comedy in the question there, which is are you going to catch hemorrhoids by having anal sex?

1:33:28 Adam It is an unequivocal yes.

1:33:30 Drew That is the can you get pregnant from anal sex question. I mean that is bizarre.

1:33:35 Adam Well listen, Steve ain't what you call a big thinker.

1:33:38 Drew Or a bright bulb. No, he's not the best bulb in the pack. But Steve, no, hemorrhoids are not something you catch. Those are things that develop.

1:33:45 Adam I didn't even know if he was talking about anal sex, by the way. Listen, if he was talking about anal sex, I'll go along with him on that one.

1:33:53 Drew You put your penis in an anus, you get hemorrhoids in your rear?

1:33:56 Adam You have something that apparently is growing out of your partner's anus and you dip your wick into that witch's brew and maybe something sticks on the way out. That's all I'm saying.

1:34:08 Drew You know what?

1:34:09 Adam You pick up a hitchhiker.

1:34:10 Drew You need to resurrect health classes and basic, basic, basic biology.

1:34:15 Adam All right, but Drew, you talk to these people all night. Yeah, they don't hear a goddamn word. You say, do you think you think it's the teacher's fault or are they just sitting there talking to cinder blocks? Okay, we're done insulting our audience. Can we take a break?

1:34:30 Drew Yeah, have a good time.

1:34:31 Adam We'll be back. Well, there you go, another fabulous...

1:34:54 Drew Mercy Me.

1:34:55 Adam Mercy Me. Drew is done for the night, everybody.

1:34:58 Drew Done and done.

1:34:59 Adam Thanks for making them feel better, everybody.

1:35:01 Drew Going to LSU tomorrow.

1:35:02 Adam Good times.

1:35:03 Drew Tigers.

1:35:04 Adam I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job all week on the phones, the coffee, and everything else. I want to thank Sarah for stepping in, doing a nice job, phone screen of Sarah. Producer Anne for putting her feminine stink on the show, and the man who slides those potentiometers, and almost never, I'd say less than 65% of the time, does he ever screw up the mic cords, everybody? Producer, engineer Anderson, everybody. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:35 Caller My scrotum looks like a bald man's head with too much sun.

1:35:42 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, April 19, 2001