Episode 1000754886927

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew is not here. He claims to love the kids, but, well, he's just never here to say how much he loves them. But the dedicated one is, that'd be me, and filling in for Dr. Drew tonight, Dr. Ben is here now. Dr. Ben has done this show on a more than one occasion, I believe, or at least one occasion. Whatever he did last time, he was fine, so we had him back, and it was either that or Dr. Bruce, so what are you gonna do? He is a gynecologist and an OBGYN, so he can answer your questions regarding that part of the anatomy tonight, and birth control, pregnancy, yeast infections, all of that stuff, he's knee deep in it every single day of his God-forsaken life, so he knows all about it, and tonight, as we usually do when we have someone sitting in for Dr. Drew, who has a certain field of expertise, we're more than happy to guide some of the questions in that direction. You might as well take advantage of Dr. Ben and his tremendous knowledge of the vagina tonight. Let me just say this, Dr. Ben. Oh, phone number, by the way, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. You know, I'm a weird guy, but to me, like, watching, I don't want to see my kid born. Do most fathers want to see that? I mean, I know they have to say they want to see it. You know what I mean? Because the wife will freak on them. But most guys, you think, when push comes to shove, really want to be in there?

2:54 Drew You know, I think it's, you know, everybody has their own opinion. But I think most people in a good relationship do want to be with each other. And the father has actually a lot of interest. I see a lot of fathers coming in even before the baby's born, just, you know, for prenatal care. So I think, yeah, there's definitely that interest. It's that unknown factor. I think a lot of guys just want to know what that's all about. So I think I got a pretty fair idea what it's about.

3:19 Adam And you know, how do you have a fair idea? Well, let me let me let me put it this way. I don't know what, let's say, the Muslim religion is all about per se. But you know what? I know enough. Not interested. You know what I mean? I'm not going to Kabul. I know enough. There's certain foods I know enough about. I don't need to eat. There's certain rides I can just look at, just walk in the amusement park. I look at them and go, that's enough. And when it comes to birthing, that's the exact way I feel. Seen some pictures, seen some footage, heard some screaming, got a pretty fair idea how it works. And I would just like to be in another part of the hospital.

3:59 Drew Yeah, interesting. You know, but there are, especially when it's your own child, I think you may feel differently. Who knows? I don't know. I can't speak for you, Adam, but you may feel differently when it's your kid.

4:09 Adam But like what happens when he's nine and he's taking a crap? Do I got to stand next to him then? Or is he okay on his own at that point? Do I have to be there for every waking moment is what I'm saying?

4:19 Drew It's your decision.

4:21 Adam Do you deliver kids? Do you do it? How many do you do a year?

4:26 Drew Well, every obstetrician will have a different number and it would depend on whether they're in an HMO practice, how many patients they're actually seeing. But on average, about five to ten a month would be kind of in the ballpark. So you do the math. If that's in private practice, that's about what many obstetricians see.

4:43 Adam And your folks are okay with you playing God that way? No problem with that?

4:48 Drew No, you're not playing God. You're just helping people have healthy deliveries.

4:52 Adam But it does on a serious note. It's got to be kind of rewarding to be...

4:57 Drew It's wonderfully rewarding.

4:58 Adam Well, I mean, here's what I mean. You have a job where maybe it's not as... Obviously, it's not as important to you as it is to the parents of the child. Now, you don't want to see the kid, you know, the kid die there in the slab. You want everyone to do well. But what I mean is, for these people, this could be the most important day of their life. And your job is being there and aiding them in the most important day of their life, which must be kind of rewarding.

5:25 Drew It's wonderfully rewarding.

5:26 Adam I mean, as opposed to, you know, there's certain jobs like Meter Maid where anyone you come across is pissed off at you. You've ruined their day. Every time you have an encounter with the public, they're pissed.

5:37 Drew Yeah.

5:38 Adam And there's plenty of jobs that way. But your job, every time you have an encounter with somebody, it's it's it's monumentous. They're taking video tape and they're they're handing out cigars.

5:47 Drew And I don't want you to think that every every encounter is the best. I mean, bad things can happen. Right. All kinds of stuff can happen.

5:55 Adam But in general, drunk, you twist an ability cord around the neck. I know. You've told me the stories off the.

6:02 Drew I think last time you said that, you know, these doctors that stand around in the room with the with a fake rubber nose and big floppy floppy shoes, I think, is the remark that I heard you say before. We don't do that.

6:14 Adam Oh, you mean, you're not like Patch Adams?

6:16 Drew No, we don't do that.

6:17 Adam OK. All right. Well, you deliver babies and and know all about the delivery system. And it doesn't ruin it for the guys sexually.

6:27 Drew You know, I don't talk to the guys as much as I do to my female patients, so I can't speak for the guys.

6:31 Adam Do you ever have any of the guys giving you the stink eye? You know what I mean? Checking out their wife, standing on the business end of the vagina that way. No, guys, some do.

6:40 Drew No, some actually hold around there. Some guys hold a video camera from that angle. It all depends on what the parents want as an experience from their birthing experience.

6:49 Adam There are no laws in California about holding a video camera over there at that angle. There are nothing.

6:55 Drew It's whatever the parents want. Really?

6:56 Adam I spread the video cameras out.

6:58 Let's get busy.

6:59 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not old fashioned, but I just I find that in sort of poor or bizarre taste. I just find it. I'm not I'm not angry at it. I'm not offended. I'm an atheist for Christ's sake. I just find it strange. I don't need a videotape of my kids head crowning out of my wife's coochie hole.

7:20 Drew So you'd be the guy who after everything's done, we'd call downstairs and have you come up and take a look at downstairs.

7:26 Adam Call me on myself. You call me on the 17th green. I just I you know what? I here's my thing. I'm just old-fashioned. I just I like that Fred McMurray thing where he's pacing up and down in the waiting room with the cigars, that sort of thing. And then the first time I see the kid is through the window. Yeah, and then the next time I see the kid, college graduation. Because I go right from the hospital to military school. That's my plan, right? Directly into military school. Sandy, you're 18.

8:01 Drew Hi Sandy.

8:02 Adam What's up?

8:05 I have something inside, right inside my vagina, that looks like a canker sore that you get inside your mouth. And I was wondering if that is a symptom of herpes.

8:17 Drew That would be the most common symptom of herpes. So if you're asking me if I think this is herpes, you're describing a herpetic lesion. So it sounds like you do. Do you have any questions about that? Is this, obviously, is this the first time you've noticed anything like that?

8:31 This is the first time I've noticed anything. And I really don't know how I got it, if it is herpes. Because I've been in a monogamous relationship for about 10 months now.

8:42 Drew Okay, so herpes is actually transmitted. And the most common genital herpes would be herpes that would be transmitted to you genitally. However, you can also have gotten herpes by having your partner giving you oral intercourse while he had a canker sore. Herpes can be, is a virus that can be transmitted to the vagina from cankers in the mouth.

9:08 Adam Yeah, but what about, um, Drew always talking about you don't necessarily have to have an active lesion or a noticeable lesion.

9:17 Drew That's right. So people can be what are known as asymptomatic shedders. In other words, they can give you the virus without having themselves any symptoms whatsoever.

9:26 Adam We call them mules. I mean, people from both sides, we call them herpes mules. They just transmit the herpes back and forth. They don't actually do the herpes. They just move it around.

9:36 Drew Yeah, so...

9:38 Adam That's a nice mule sound. You don't have a donkey bray in there? Really? Just a horse? Just a lone ranger? That's a mule, all right.

9:47 Drew So Sandy, that's basically how you can get herpes. And it's not necessarily if your partner had an active lesion at the time, although that's when people are most infectious, is when there is an active lesion.

9:59 Okay, so I could have gotten it if he had given me oral sex while he didn't have a canker sore but hadn't had a canker sore before?

10:07 Drew That's correct.

10:08 Adam But it's less likely.

10:09 Drew It's much less likely. So even though the answer to that is yes, it is much less likely. And I think just a couple of things that you need to keep in mind as far as this particular episode. First of all, we now have very good medications that would probably decrease the total amount of time that you have this lesion active. So if you can get to a physician relatively soon and get a prescription for some of the new medications that are out there, it could cut the amount of time that you will have this out there on your body, which can be very painful, as you know, basically last about half as long as it would had you not gotten treatment. And then secondly, again, you know, you're young and you have some time to think about this. But for you, long term, as far as any unhealthy side effects, the only thing that we can think of long term with this is possibly around the time that you deliver. If you have an outbreak, Sandy, you at rounded right around the time that you are ready to deliver the baby, we try to decrease the chance that the baby will pick up the virus by going through the birth canal. So around that time, your obstetrician may talk to you about having a C-section to prevent that transmission. So that's the long term consequence of this for you.

11:18 Adam What percentage in this, Sandy? So go see your doctor, Ben, don't try to help everybody. Easy, boy. It's gonna be a long night. Some people you gotta tell, you know, just go see your doctor and take care, you know, keep your head up. You give them that kind of, you give them that sort of generic stuff like, hey, keep on keeping on.

11:37 Drew Keep on keeping on and go see your doctor.

11:39 Adam There you go. And what percentage of people are getting a C-section these days?

11:44 Drew You know, that's a very good question. We can talk about this for ages, but let me give you the short answer. In most hospitals, C-section rates in the United States hover around 23 to 25% now nationally. And it does change based on whether you're having your baby in a community hospital or in a teaching hospital. The difference is that community hospitals, maybe because of medical, we're not quite sure, but it may have to do with how quickly somebody gets an epidural, which increases the risk for C-section. It may have something to do with medical liability when you have a private physician who's worried, perhaps, of getting sued when the least problem occurs during labor.

12:19 Adam Well, which one is higher?

12:21 Drew Those would be the higher cases.

12:22 Adam The community?

12:22 Drew So the community hospitals. And if you go to a teaching institution where you have residents, where you have more of an academic setting, when they kind of go by the book a little bit and are much more, let's just call it, patient with labor, your chance of having C-section is probably less.

12:39 Adam Do you like the natural birth more than the C-section?

12:43 Drew Well, you know, there's risks and benefits to everything. C-sections, you involve somebody's losing about twice as much blood as you do in a vaginal delivery. Recovery time at home is completely different when you look at the C-section versus vaginal delivery. So, you know, in general, my philosophy is that you let everybody try to have a baby vaginally and you do your best to give them that opportunity. And then if all else fails, certainly before you get close to endangering anybody's health, you go ahead and do a C-section. But it's usually the last resort for me.

13:13 Adam How do you do that C-section? I mean, you cut the stomach open, but what do you do with the muscle? Do you cut it or you pull it aside?

13:20 Drew You pull it aside. In fact, in a lot of women who have had C-sections or even very large babies, you have a little diathesis. There's just a little, you know, the muscle can take a little bit of time before it completely comes back right in the middle.

13:32 Adam You are the only one involved with this show who's ever heard the word diathesis. I guarantee you that. I'm not even sure if I want to even know what it means. What does that mean?

13:42 Drew Well, it's just kind of a little space, a potential space that occurs when you pull the muscles apart.

13:48 Adam Oh my God. To me, I wouldn't call that a C-section. I'd call it an alien birth. Remember an alien? We popped that out. Yeah, I remember that scene. Start calling it the alien birth.

13:58 Drew Yeah, the cafeteria birth.

13:59 Adam I bet you if you stop calling it a C-section, start calling it the alien birth, it would go way down, from 24% down to almost nothing. See, it's all in the naming.

14:10 Drew You're right.

14:11 Adam Mike, C-section, way too nice. Sounds easier. Mike, you're 17. What's up?

14:17 Caller Lately, I've been arguing with my parents about getting my eyebrow pierced.

14:20 And I was just wondering what the risks are involved. Like, pretty much what's the worst that can happen if I did get that. And, you know, because I was talking to them about getting my lip pierced. And my mom was talking to me about oral cancer and I just don't know.

14:35 Adam No, she just doesn't want her son to be a freak. That's all. Well, you understand that?

14:40 Yeah.

14:41 Adam She wants you to get a job. It's not so much about cancer. It's more about you being a cancer on her and your family by never being able to leave the goddamn house because you're all carved up by the time you're 19 years old and you can't get a steady gig. It's that kind of cancer she's talking about. The proverbial cancer.

14:59 Caller My parents have always been really cool about letting me do things and you know I'm pretty sure that if they found out that there's pretty much nothing that could go bad or nothing terrible that could come from it, I would be able to do it so.

15:15 Adam Let me know about brown piercings.

15:18 Drew Just in general, piercings, it's interesting because there was just recently I read about one case, just a case report about an 18-year-old female who had her tongue pierced and then about two to three weeks later began developing very severe headaches and a fever and ended up having a brain abscess which was successfully drained and it's kind of the first basically connection that somebody made with that particular problem. But you have to understand my tongue is worse than the brain. But in general, Adam, all you know, the face is an extremely vascular organ, the skin on the face extremely vascular and any invasion into that into that vascular space can potentially cause an infection. And so probably the most common complication from something like that would be an infection. Now, true, most of the time you can get rid of the infection by taking the piercing out, giving some oral antibiotics, and things would settle out and would not lead to abscesses and things of this nature that are much more complicated.

16:26 Adam We don't care that much.

16:27 Drew But that's essentially it.

16:29 Adam Don't try to help so much. Mike?

16:31 Caller Yeah.

16:32 Adam Okay, just have fun pissing off your parents, okay?

16:34 Caller All right, thank you. Long live the fox, Adam.

16:36 Adam All right, yeah, he was a great man. This, I mean, here's the deal. It's not going to kill you.

16:44 Drew No, probably not.

16:44 Adam But you know what? You're not getting laid either. So, why not just, just don't mess with it. I just hate anyone who tries to do anything. I just, I don't like that.

16:55 Drew They should all sit at home and watch the man show.

16:58 Adam That's right. Just everyone, just go home and just wait for death. Now, Chris?

17:05 Yeah?

17:06 Adam You're 16?

17:07 Caller Yeah.

17:07 Adam What's up?

17:08 Caller I actually got through last night, but I got your alter ego, so I didn't get in five words edgewise.

17:15 Adam You were on while Ace Rockolla was on?

17:17 Caller Yeah.

17:18 Adam Interesting.

17:19 Caller Okay. Here's my thing.

17:21 Adam He's got a little yeasty on the peckeroo. What? Oh, yeah. You better hope he doesn't rear his ugly head again. Yeah, you got the two girlfriends.

17:32 Caller Yeah. And the thing is, is one of them, one of them I see every couple of weeks and it's just purely physical. It's just nothing but sex. But like, I got one that's serious, that's I see every day, but, you know.

17:46 Adam Which one lives further away?

17:48 Caller The one that's like the one that I just have sex with.

17:52 Adam How far away does she live?

17:54 Caller Chatsworth, and I live in Ventura.

17:56 Adam Oh, Chatsworth. That's a strike. That dump of a city. And the other one lives closer.

18:03 Caller The other one lives in town.

18:04 Adam All right. Well, which one's better looking?

18:08 Caller You know what? They're both pretty hot.

18:10 Adam Well, one of them's got to be hotter than the other. Um, look, you just pick one, would you? What do you want us to say?

18:18 Caller Well, the thing is, is that I'm not getting anything from the one in town.

18:23 Adam So I, I, it's why not?

18:26 Caller She's just like really religious. And, you know, I'm like, I'm good. All right.

18:31 Adam Well, she's too good for you then. So dump her and go out with the slut from Chatsworth, the slut from Chatsworth. Yeah.

18:38 Caller Okay.

18:39 Adam All right there, Chris.

18:40 Caller And the thing is, is that I don't know if I want to exploit that. Cause she seems to be like, she seems to be like one of those chicks that might have had, you know, something in her past that causes her to just, you know, be totally. Yeah.

18:53 Adam She's a little crazy. Well, you don't have to marry her. Just don't get her pregnant. You smoke a lot of weed?

18:58 Caller No, none.

18:58 Adam Okay. Don't get her pregnant. You hear me?

19:01 Caller Okay.

19:02 Adam Okay.

19:04 Caller That's your advice.

19:05 Adam Just go with the, just go with the, the one that's further away but open for business, but don't get her pregnant. Well, she does live in Chadsworth. That valley is such a dump. Where are you from, Ben?

19:17 Drew The city, I guess, at this point. I'm kind of in Glendale most of the time.

19:21 Adam Where were you born?

19:22 Drew Very far away.

19:24 Adam Where, like, Canoga Park?

19:26 Drew Like in the Middle East.

19:27 Adam Like over the hill, like Simi Valley?

19:29 Drew Like way over the hill. Like Middle East?

19:31 Adam East Valley, like in Sino?

19:32 Drew No, like in Israel, like way far away.

19:35 Adam Where is that, like Glendale area?

19:37 Drew Yeah, pretty much, just east of Glendale. You have to take the tent for a while, though.

19:41 Adam I knew some dudes from Israel. Do you guys go to, like, what high school is out there? Taft or Marshall or something? Yeah.

19:50 Drew We have a great soccer team.

19:51 Adam Oh, Israel? Yeah, they're good. They're good because they're low and they look down when they walk. They're good. They're good. No, see, you've got to be short to play soccer.

20:00 Drew Right.

20:01 Adam You're going to be down, down on the ground.

20:02 Drew Closer to the ball.

20:02 Adam Yeah, you, like, dribble with your knees. All right. Where the hell were we?

20:08 Drew Maybe over here.

20:08 Adam Melissa? Yeah. How are you doing? You ever go back to Israel?

20:12 Drew Oh, yeah.

20:12 Adam Yeah?

20:13 Drew Yeah. I see the relatives every couple of years.

20:16 Adam I say this, but I only know Israel from watching the news and watching commercials once in a while where people beg you to come to Israel. And I'm always, I never trust the city when I see the commercial where they beg you to come out. Come on, come on, it's safe. Come on. I always go, I don't know. I don't buy it when they, you know, I always feel like they're covering something up when they're telling you how safe and nice it is. You should come on out. But I wouldn't go to Israel.

20:41 Drew I would not at this time of year, not right now.

20:43 Adam What's over there though? I mean, you got your homeland, right?

20:48 Drew You got Jerusalem.

20:49 Adam All right. But so what? Pack it up and move over here.

20:52 Drew It's incredible. I mean, no matter what religion you are and if it's an incredible city, just to walk the streets of Jerusalem is an experience.

21:01 Adam What if you're an atheist? Would it be good?

21:03 Drew You know, let me let me let you in on something. I remember, you know, I'm not Christian, but I walked through the Christian holy places and you end up or you go into the mosques and you are just overtaken by what it means to so many people. I mean, it's a place of such importance to even if it isn't to you, you just you can feel something when you walk through those places that's beyond you.

21:28 Adam But like, what about all the people like when some Mexican chick sees Jesus in a tortilla and the whole neighborhood comes by? Is it do I have to be moved by the tortilla or can I just be a tortilla to me? Do you know what I'm saying?

21:41 Drew I know what you're saying.

21:42 Adam To me, it's just it's just a million years of crazy people worshipping a rock. That's all it all is to me. I know I've offended you enough. The whole thing over there just sounds just it's total insanity to me. I can't figure out why everyone doesn't love the freedom of being an atheist.

21:59 Drew Which is great.

21:59 Adam You just screw all that crazy crap and all you idiots over there living on a rock and praying to God knows what that someone's going to do something for you that never comes, that never arrives and then you die and then your relatives go on praying for you but something's going to work out better and it never does.

22:16 Caller He is a world class.

22:17 Adam Be an atheist and do what you want.

22:19 Drew Yeah, well, you know, that's, that... Yeah?

22:22 Adam You're an atheist now?

22:23 Drew No, I'm just saying that there's something about being somewhere where, where there's just more than what you are seeing. There's so much connected to it, the history connected to it, the emotional connection that is an incredible experience.

22:38 Adam Okay, all right. So for an atheist, it might be like going over to Area 51 over there, wherever the hell that is, like going to Roswell. Something could have happened over there.

22:52 Drew You know what, Adam, maybe when you go, you come back, you can tell me if it felt that way.

22:57 Adam I'm going to Israel. I'm booking a flight tomorrow and I'm going to Israel. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Dr. Ben is filling in for Dr. Drew tonight, who will be back on Sunday. Dr. Drew took a crazy trip where he took a boat to the Panama Canal, went to Cuba, and all kinds of crap like that. So we'll get the skinny on that when he comes back on Sunday. Dr. Ben is a gynecologist and OBGYN, so he knows all about that stuff. So that's the way we're going to steer it tonight. So if you have those questions tonight, tonight to call and we'll be right back after this.

23:39 Caller Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on 94.7 NRK.

23:49 Adam Hey there, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Bruce, who was filling in for Dr. Drew, who is coming home from his whirlwind trip of, Jesus, the world, really. He was going through the Panama Canal, and he was taking a cruise, and his wife's a cruise director. Now, what does she do? A travel agent. So, anyway, he had a good thing going. And I guess he'll be back this weekend, so we'll see him here on Sunday. Meanwhile, Dr. Ben is just as qualified as Dr. Drew. Maybe not with the addiction medicine, but he certainly knows about the gynecology, and about birthing, and about birth control, and all that stuff. So, if you have those questions tonight, this is the time to ask them. Melissa?

24:41 Caller Hello?

24:41 Adam You're 29? What's up?

24:44 Caller Um, yeah, I just had a question, because when I urine, it burns, and then when I have sex, and when my husband comes, and the doctor thought that I had a bladder infection, but she checked that, and it was nothing, and she did a pelvic ultrasound, and she said that I had like a little cyst on my ovary.

25:07 Drew Yeah.

25:08 Caller But, you know, but I try so many creams and everything, and it, you know, it doesn't work, and it burns, and it's sensitive.

25:17 Drew Yeah. Melissa, there's a couple of things that could be going on. First of all, what do you guys use for birth control?

25:23 Caller Well, she wants me, she wants to, like, put me on one. But she hasn't yet, because she wants to do another pelvic ultrasound.

25:31 Drew Okay, now, what, in other words, if you get pregnant right now, would that be okay?

25:36 Caller No, um.

25:36 Drew So what are you using for birth?

25:37 Caller My tubes.

25:38 Drew You've had your tubes tied already?

25:39 Caller Yeah, yeah, I have two kids.

25:41 Drew Okay, so you have birth control. You had a tube of ligation. You can't get pregnant.

25:46 Caller No.

25:46 Drew Okay.

25:47 Adam Hey, Melissa? Yeah, feel free to bring that up, you know, when you're talking about birth control.

25:52 Drew And then, and as far as the sperm burning, is that always been the case or is that something that's all of a sudden happening that didn't happen before? You've had two kids with the same man.

26:02 Caller Yeah. Yeah, it didn't happen before. And it's got worse. And then I got discharged and it's hard to have sex. And we use condoms until she sees me. And that burns also.

26:19 Drew Okay, so the condoms burn. And when you're not using condoms, the sperm burns, everything burns.

26:24 Caller Yeah, and then it feels like it hurts a lot and real sensitive.

26:29 Adam Maybe God is just telling you not to have any more sex. I mean, everything burns. It all burns.

26:35 Drew And one last question, Melissa. And then maybe we can talk about where you can go with this. But are you still having regular periods at this point?

26:41 Caller Yeah, and I noticed that when I do have my period...

26:45 Adam Let me guess. It burns. It burns, right?

26:47 Caller Yeah, and it hurts. I'm like, I can't take it. And then I take me a bath.

26:50 Adam What about when the water hits your vagina when you get in the tub? Does it burn?

26:54 Caller Yeah.

26:55 Adam Yeah, and when air hits it, it burns?

26:57 Caller Yeah.

26:58 Adam When the earth turns, it burns? When the moon circles around the earth, it burns?

27:05 Caller Yeah, and it hurts.

27:07 Adam I see. Your vagina is basically on fire constantly, right?

27:10 Caller Yeah.

27:11 Adam Okay.

27:11 Caller Especially when I urinate, it's like...

27:13 Adam You urinate, it burns.

27:14 Caller Yeah, because I drink a lot of water.

27:16 Adam Right. What about number two? It burns?

27:19 Caller No.

27:19 Adam No. Okay. Well, there's your plan. Continuous flow of excrement coming out from your rear end, and you'll be fine, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

27:31 Drew So, Melissa, it's probably more than just a bladder infection. And wherever you are right now, I don't know when the next time you're going to see your gynecologist. This is the kind of stuff that the physician needs to hear more than maybe talking to you about doing numerous ultrasounds. But again, that's obviously something that you and your gynecologist need to discuss. It does require an exam. And there's so many things, obviously, infectious and otherwise that need to be covered here. But definitely go see your gynecologist more than just for the pelvic exam. You know, pelvic exams, when pelvic ultrasounds are performed, certainly there are certain things that your gynecologist was looking for. But it's the mucosa. It's the actual visual examination and perhaps something to do with an infection in that area that needs to be looked at more closely.

28:16 Adam Ben, I know you don't speak in terms of this as a doctor, but it really just seems like some people got lemons for a vagina. They just got a lemon. You know, like, you know, there's a lemon law. Like when you get a bad car, one out of every 2000 cars, it rolls off the assembly line. It's just a lemon.

28:35 Drew Yeah.

28:36 Adam And you know what? They bring it back and they fix it and they fix it and they fix it and they fix it. And it's always something new and nobody can figure out what it is. But you know what it is? Ultimately and sort of cosmically, it's like bad, like one out of every X amount just as bad. And there's people that are this way. They're allergic to everything. They can't see anything. They're, you know, these are the people need back surgery because they got out of bed the wrong way in college and stuff like that. Just lemons. What do you do when you're a lemon? When you got a vagina that's a lemon?

29:07 Drew There's no recall. Yeah, there's no recall. So you just got to work with it and you got to find what will work for you.

29:12 Adam But would you start working another angle? Would you start getting into yoga and stop eating dairy or something? Would you find some bizarre religion? You know what I mean? Would you just try to shake it up?

29:25 Drew It may be a matter of finding the right lubricant. It may be the changing condoms. It might be getting rid of a chronic yeast infection. But you try to work with it so you see somebody who can help you and you go from there. You do your best.

29:38 Adam Robert?

29:40 Drew Robert, awake?

29:42 Adam Robert, who is thirteen and calling from New Mexico, Robert?

29:48 Drew Robert's gone.

29:48 Adam He should be awake. He's only been on hold for nine and a half minutes. Maybe he's not responding to his fake name.

29:56 Caller I'm here.

29:57 Adam Oh, there he is.

29:57 Drew That was Robert. Okay.

29:59 Adam Hey, Robert.

30:00 Caller Hi. Can you call like in five minutes?

30:03 Adam You're thirteen, what?

30:04 Caller Can you call like in five minutes?

30:06 Adam You want me to call you back?

30:07 Caller Yeah.

30:07 Adam All right, buddy. On the house phone, do you want me to call you in the car?

30:11 Caller Like in five minutes.

30:11 Adam Are you on your cell or are you on the house phone?

30:14 Caller I'm on the cell.

30:15 Adam On your cell?

30:16 Caller Yes.

30:16 Adam All right, I'll ring you up. I'm just going to do one ring and hang up and then I'll call back so you know it's me, all right?

30:21 Caller Okay.

30:22 Adam All right, buddy. I'll talk to you in five. Type five though, right? Not ten. Type five?

30:29 Caller Yeah.

30:29 Adam Talk to you in five.

30:30 Caller Yeah.

30:30 Adam All right, Bobby. Take care, buddy. One ring. One ring code.

30:35 Caller All right.

30:36 Drew Ouch.

30:37 Adam I swear I'll call back. I'm guessing his dad walked in the room and there was some code going on there, right?

30:45 Drew Yeah, I don't know. What was that?

30:47 Adam Well, we didn't call him in the first place, so calling him back wouldn't be an option.

30:52 Drew Right.

30:52 Adam All right. All right. Well, his dad will go to sleep or pass out, and then he'll ring us back. Holly?

31:00 Caller Where's my bourbon?

31:02 Adam Holly?

31:03 Drew Holly?

31:04 Yeah.

31:04 Adam Holly, you're 16. You're on with Dr. Ben, the coochie doctor.

31:09 Caller Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm 16, and I'm really, really attracted to older men.

31:14 Adam How old?

31:15 Caller Like in their, at the youngest, in their early 20s, but in the oldest, like in their 30s, late 30s, yeah.

31:26 Adam Have you really given this a lot of thought? I can see.

31:30 Caller Well, no, because I was thinking I was sorry, I was somewhere else right there.

31:35 Adam Okay. All right.

31:36 Drew Maybe she's talking to Robert.

31:38 Caller No, sorry. My friend is on the other phone and sorry. Yeah. So I'm attracted to older men.

31:46 Adam Okay. And these are guys that are quite a bit older than you.

31:50 Caller Yeah.

31:51 Adam Have you had a relationship with any of them?

31:53 Caller Well, kind of, but not really. Just all like, so what's up, baby? And then we fool around, but then I leave and then we never talk again.

32:01 Adam What do you do when you fool around?

32:05 Caller Basically anything but sex.

32:08 Adam Oral sex?

32:09 Caller Uh-huh.

32:09 Adam And these guys are in their 30s?

32:12 Caller Oh, sorry.

32:15 Drew Anderson.

32:16 Caller Probably. I don't think I've done anything bad when they're in their 30s, but. Yeah. Late 20s.

32:23 Adam Okay. Where's your dad?

32:25 Caller Right.

32:25 He's deceased. Uh-huh.

32:27 Adam There it is. When did when did your mom kill him?

32:31 Caller Um, three years ago.

32:34 Adam He died three years ago?

32:35 Caller Yeah.

32:35 Adam How did he die?

32:37 Caller Hold on. Hold on. Sorry. Colon cancer.

32:40 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Three years ago. Oh, you're 16. All right. That could have been just you could have just missed a cut there. As I was going to say that if you were 14 or 15 when your dad died, usually you can you can get by without having any weird syndromes. I mean, you can miss your dad and you might have a little trouble with intimacy, but you don't necessarily long for older guys. But at 12 or 13, it's it's right there.

33:07 Drew What was your relationship with your dad, Holly?

33:11 Caller I was a lot closer to him than I am with my mom. My mom don't really get along. Well, we do, but like not as good as her and my sister.

33:18 Adam Right. So that was pretty tough when your dad passed away. Well, this is probably connected to that, Holly. You know what I mean?

33:27 Caller Yeah, but I don't know because I've had like he wasn't he was around a lot, but not really. So I've had like a lot of father figures in my life.

33:34 Adam Yeah. But what's that mean? You mean boyfriends of your mom's?

33:38 Caller Well, like really good. My friends, like I get attached to like their parents like easily. And like I didn't see my dad a lot because he was like a druggie and a dealer.

33:49 Adam And yeah, I was and I was picturing the Ranger dad from General Ben, you know, when he passed away from colon cancer and you guys were pretty tight and then he just kind of he just kind of took a little slide for the worse. He was the druggie dealer. All right. Hey, Holly, yeah, you're going to have some issues.

34:09 Drew Yeah, yeah, I have.

34:11 Adam Right. OK, so how about a little therapy?

34:13 Caller Well, I've been in and out since I was like seven.

34:15 Adam All right. Well, now you need to stay in a little longer.

34:18 Caller It doesn't help.

34:19 Adam I know that's what you think, but it will. You don't have much choice.

34:24 Caller OK.

34:24 Adam All right. So here are two things you need to do. You need to get some therapy because you had a druggie dad who dealt and then died early. And you got all kinds of weird mixed feelings about him. And there's probably parts of you that are angry at him. And rightfully so. And there are parts of you that miss him and mourn his loss. And now you're acting out on it because you're 16 and you're becoming a woman and you got to you got to work on it. All right. All right. Hey, Holly. Yeah. Good times there, baby. Take care of yourself. All right.

34:53 Drew Wow.

34:55 Adam But listen, this is why this is why we can't help anybody on this show. They're very distracted.

35:01 Drew They're too busy talking on the phone or talking to somebody else in code.

35:05 Adam Let me let me make this. Let me make this thought. I really, you know, when when a horse has a broken leg, we shoot it, you know, but people, we got a plan for them. Yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking maybe just give them the bullet too. Do you think?

35:22 Drew Well, I heard that, yeah, when you're going to be isn't it when you're ruling this place that you're going to have some laws? Okay, right. That would be one of them.

35:29 Adam I just here's the thing about people that here's here's the thing that that disappoints me most in life. The reason you shoot the horse is because there's really not much there's nothing you can do for the horse. And the reason you rehabilitate a person or you work with a person is because they have the potential for change. The problem is is they almost never act on that potential. So you might as well just put a bullet in them too. That's what I'm saying. Do you see what I'm saying?

35:58 Drew I think that's a very pessimistic view of people.

36:01 Adam Well, I only got it through through extensive research and doing this show. I mean, I mean, Holly knows what she has to do. And it's pretty clear. And her dad was a dealer and a drug addict. Now she's chasing older guys and all sorts of stuff. But I don't see her doing it. Not for a long time.

36:19 Drew No, that's what she gets her energy for.

36:20 Adam And that's the sad part.

36:21 Drew That's she lives for that stuff, actually. So I'm sure it won't be easy to kick her back into therapy.

36:26 Adam And meanwhile, everybody, you know what you're doing. So don't do it. I mean, you know why you're calling. You're attracted to older guys. You understand this is a problem. So just feel free to govern yourself a little bit. Is that your name?

36:44 It's Una.

36:47 Adam You know, for me, this is this is why I don't gamble. My head went Una, Una, Una, Una, Una, Una, Una.

36:56 Caller People get confused all the time.

36:58 It's all right.

36:59 Adam OK. What's that mean?

37:01 Caller Um, I mean, I know it means it means something in Hebrew and then it means something in Irish.

37:08 Adam Ben, what's it mean?

37:10 Drew Nothing in Hebrew that I can think of, not off the top of my head.

37:13 Adam What do you think it means? All right. So anyway, you don't know what your name means.

37:21 Caller Um, in Irish, it, um, I can't remember what it means.

37:25 Adam OK.

37:25 Caller But in Hebrew, I think it means like.

37:28 Adam Listen, OK, isn't Irish English? It's just we can't understand them.

37:34 Caller No, Irish is like, um, healthy.

37:37 Adam OK. Listen, I'm, I've never been satisfied with an answer on the show and I don't even know why I ask. I ask them what their name means. I just assume that's a layup and, uh, no, no, not to be.

37:49 Drew You gotta work on the problem, not the name.

37:51 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

37:52 Drew Let's work on the problem.

37:53 Adam It's my problem for talking to you. Go ahead.

37:54 Caller All right. Um, well, thank you very much for taking my call.

37:58 Adam Thanks for calling.

38:00 Caller Um, kind of like I'm a little nervous, but, um, my question is, me and my boyfriend have been together now for six months, and we finally decided to have sex for my first time, because I'm a virgin, and he's, like, way more experienced than me. And we tried the other night, and it just didn't work.

38:20 Drew What didn't work? And first of all, maybe what did you use for contraception?

38:25 Caller Um, I use a condom, and I'm on birth control.

38:27 Drew Okay. Okay. So what was it that didn't work?

38:32 Caller Like, we couldn't even, like, get it in. And I don't know if maybe it was because I was too nervous, or...

38:37 Adam Yeah. What do they call that? Vaginismus? Is that what that is? Well, it tightens up. Like, when you see urchins.

38:46 Drew Did it hurt?

38:47 Caller Well, it wasn't so much that it, like, tightened up, but, like, just couldn't, like, get it in.

38:54 Adam Yeah, well, that would be because it tightened up, though, right?

38:57 No, it was more like the angle.

39:01 Adam Oh, well, look, what do you want me to do? Go over there and grab him by the balls and get it?

39:06 Caller I was just wondering if maybe you had any ideas on, like, an easier way of doing it or something?

39:12 Adam Well, I thought he was Mr. Experienced.

39:16 Caller He... He should be. He's quite a bit older than me.

39:20 Adam Well, but apparently he's not. I mean, he was stabbing you in the navel with his penis. You sure he knows his way around?

39:29 Caller No, it wasn't really like that. It's like he was trying to be, like, as easy as possible, like not being...

39:35 Adam Right...

39:36 Caller .forcing anything in any way.

39:38 Adam Well, not finding the hole is probably the least painful. That's the most gentle I've ever heard a guy do it. Maybe you're never going to know it. All right, well...

39:48 Drew So just be patient and try what works for both of you. Yeah, just take your time.

39:52 Caller Yeah. I had another question actually about the Depot Prevara set.

39:56 Drew Okay.

39:58 Caller I was just wondering what you knew about like side effects with that.

40:01 Adam All right, hold on a second because we're running late for break and Una, if you listen, Dr. Ben will talk all about the side effects of the Depot. He's made himself a little note there. So when we come back, oh, this guy was Mr. Experience. He probably nailed more chicks than Will Chamberlain. Couldn't find the angle.

40:22 Drew I'll figure it out.

40:23 Adam All right, we'll take a little break and Dr. Ben will tell us all about the pros and cons of the Depot shot after this.

40:34 Caller This is Loveline on 94.7 NRK. Welcome, Loveline, with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on 94.7 NRK.

40:49 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew, who will be back on Sunday to reunite with us here. Dr. Ben is a OBGYN, and he knows everything about what's going on beneath the waist or under the waist of a woman, and all about birthing and birth control and all that. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. When we left off, we were going to talk about the Depo-Provera shot, which Dr. Ben is not a huge fan of, and we haven't heard great things about on this show either.

41:23 Drew Well, you know, when Depo came out, everybody was really excited because who wouldn't want a once a three? You know, you get one injection, and you're good for three months without having to take a pill every day. I mean, so certainly on the face of it, that looked like a great way to go. There are some side effects. It's a progesterone-only injection, and progesterone is kind of like a not-too-distant cousin of testosterone. So for some women, we saw that it added to their weight, which as you can imagine was not too popular. Average weight gain on Depo is about five pounds for a year's use, but some people gain about ten pounds after the injection, and they just hate it.

42:02 Adam Will you say five pounds for...

42:04 Drew For a year. In other words, if you get four injections once every three months for a whole year, the average amount of weight gain is about five pounds.

42:10 Adam And if you stay on it for another year, will you get another five pounds?

42:14 Drew No, there's just kind of this plateauing effect, but there's usually at least about a five-pound weight gain on the drug. Now, again, that's on average, so you have some people who don't gain weight, but I've also seen some patients gain a lot more than five pounds.

42:25 Adam And they bleed a lot.

42:26 Drew Yeah, that's the other thing, is that it definitely causes bleeding abnormalities and irregularities. 50% of women after their second injection will stop having periods. And for some, it's no big deal. If you sit down and explain to them, that's most likely to happen. But other, some people just get really anxious about perhaps being pregnant and kind of missing it or not having that reassurance of having a monthly cycle, which they won't have on the DepoProvera. That's another thing. Headaches are also kind of a side effect of the drug. And then finally, for some people, just real bad acne after getting the injection. So, you know, you kind of have to tread lightly with Depo. You have to go through a very lengthy explanation. If patients are still interested in trying it, you know, it could be very convenient. If they're lucky enough not to have any of the side effects that we sometimes see, then that's something that some patients, that's a drug that some patients actually really like to stay on.

43:21 Adam What about, well, actually, I want to ask you about Norplant, too, but my other question was, after you get the Depo shot, when are you, when is it safe to have sex?

43:33 Drew Good question. So you want to, you know, if I remember correctly, Una was actually on birth control pills. So Una should come in while she's still taking the pills and get her injection. Usually you'd want Una to be on the last part of the cycle, basically the last seven days, those placebo pills when she's having a period. Then she'd come in, get her depo injection, and she's good to go. For people who aren't on birth control pills.

43:54 Adam You mean right there in the office?

43:56 Drew Yeah, you give it in the office.

43:57 Adam I mean, you have sex with her in the office?

44:00 Drew No, she gets the injection in the office and then basically comes in.

44:04 Adam You don't have sex with her, though?

44:06 Drew No.

44:06 Adam So it's not like you take it for a spin. What I'm saying is a mechanic fixes a car, sometimes he says hop in, he takes it around the block, he shows you what he's done. You know what I'm saying? You don't do that.

44:17 Drew No.

44:17 Adam Okay. All right. Well, I wouldn't operate that way, but that's fine if that's the way you choose to conduct your business. But what about someone who's not on anything? They get the injection of depo, when are they good to have sex?

44:30 Drew They're good right away. So if you come in on your period, you do not have to use a backup method for any length of time. You're basically good to go as long as you come in on your period. So coming in on your first day of your period or the first five days of your cycle, that's the perfect time to get your depo shot. If there's any doubt about irregular bleeding and you're not sure, you can at the time that you're coming into your gynecologist office, have a pregnancy test with a negative pregnancy test while you're bleeding, you're good to have the shot and you're also protected immediately.

44:59 Adam So you're supposed to do it when you're beginning your period? That's when you get... And would you not give someone a depo shot if they were in the middle between cycles?

45:09 Drew Unless they basically could swear to you that they were either abstinent or there's just no way they could be pregnant because if somebody's ovulated and then comes into the office in the middle of their cycle and had sex three nights before, they could be pregnant right there and then or could have gotten pregnant right there and then and then you wouldn't want to give them their depo.

45:27 Adam Hey Jane?

45:28 Yes.

45:29 Adam You're 18?

45:30 Caller Hey.

45:31 Adam Did you call last night?

45:32 Caller I did.

45:33 Adam All right. And you're having a dream... But we never talked to you?

45:37 Caller No.

45:37 Adam Were you having dreams about having sex with your dad? Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

45:44 Caller Yeah.

45:45 Adam Really? You have sex intercourse with your dad?

45:48 Caller Yeah.

45:49 Caller Well, I mean, just like every so often.

45:51 Adam Sure.

45:51 Caller I have a dream and it'll be, you know, like, not for sure. Like, it's not super graphic, but I know that it's him. And I don't know, like, it doesn't... Like, I don't climax ever, but I'm definitely dreaming about it.

46:05 Adam Yeah. Has he ever touched you?

46:07 Caller In real life?

46:08 Caller No.

46:08 Adam Yeah. Why do you think you would have these dreams?

46:12 Caller I don't...

46:13 Caller I mean, I don't know, because I look up to him. I don't know, Oedipus complex, like...

46:19 Adam Oh, okay. But there's nothing, nothing bizarre that we need to know about.

46:24 Caller No.

46:25 Adam And how often do you think you have these dreams?

46:28 Caller I mean, every, like, a couple months or...

46:31 Adam And how do you know it's your dad? It just looks like him, you know, it's him?

46:35 Caller Yeah, or it's supposed to be him.

46:38 Caller Like, that's what I'm dreaming about.

46:39 Caller I just know, you know, it's fantastic.

46:41 Adam All right. But you love him and he's never molested you and he's not beat on you or anything like that.

46:48 Caller Nothing like that.

46:49 Adam All right. All right.

46:51 Caller Well... No problem.

46:52 Adam Good enough. Yeah. I mean, look, here's the thing. I don't know how Dr. Ben feels about this, but I know I speak for Dr. Drew when I say that you're allowed to think weird things and maybe even do weird things once in a while, as long as there's nothing weird compelling you to do it. Do you know what I'm saying? Totally. And if there's nothing in your past that's driving you this way and there's nothing we need to know about, and this is just one of those strange, unexplained parts of the human psyche that crops up every once in a while, fine.

47:26 Caller No, no, no, yes, yes, yes.

47:29 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. Dr. Ben is in here. He's a gynecologist, filmed in for Dr. Drew. And we'll be back with him and you after this.

47:37 Drew OK, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

47:39 So I was like, you know, nice to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

47:42 Drew Why can't I meet anybody?

47:43 But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

47:45 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

47:47 Drew I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

47:49 Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

47:52 Drew 877-889-DATE.

47:55 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:57 Caller We'll be right back.

47:59 Caller Loveline on 947-NRK.

48:02 Caller We'll be right back.

48:35 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben is filling in for Dr. Drew. I'm gonna say Dr. Bruce, but in a way, he is filling in for Dr. Bruce, who did a good job last night. Dr. Drew will be in here on Sunday night, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Ben is a gynecologist, and it's all about that part of the body, also about birth control and birthing and all that. So let's get back to the phones and speak to Trevor. Trevor?

49:06 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

49:07 Adam Hey, Trevor, you're 20.

49:08 Caller Can I ask you a question real quick, Adam?

49:09 Adam Yeah.

49:09 Caller Was that your first time on Stern about four months ago?

49:12 Adam Yeah.

49:13 Caller You guys are great, you and Jimmy.

49:14 Adam Oh, thanks. Yeah, we always enjoyed Stern, but never did have a chance to do the show, but we went out there a couple months ago and got to do it for a few days.

49:22 Caller Yeah, that's cool.

49:23 Adam Oh, thanks.

49:24 Caller Okay, Dr. Ben?

49:25 Drew Yeah.

49:25 Caller Okay, my girlfriend has larger labia than, I guess, normal women, and she's been worried, she's worried about I'm not, I could care less. But she was wondering, what is the type of surgery that you do on that? Is it painful, long?

49:40 Drew Well, okay. First of all, why is she interested in having surgery? What is it about it that bothers her?

49:48 Caller It's not as normal as, it's just odd to her because they're so large, larger like in bikinis, you can actually kind of tell. There's little meat down there.

49:59 Adam Yeah, that's right.

50:00 Caller She's worried, like I'm worried about, I have a little love and I might be worried about that. She's probably just worried about that.

50:05 Drew Well, I mean, she needs to think about what exactly she doesn't like about that, but certainly there are.

50:12 Adam Well, she doesn't like being different.

50:14 Drew I guess, and if it bothers her enough and she wants to look into it, there's certainly surgeries that you can do to reduce the size of the labia.

50:22 Caller Does that cut off the sense?

50:24 Drew No, you stay away. The most sensitive part would be the parts around the clitoris. You would stay away from there and you would just thin out the parts that are accessory on the outer edges. Those are the parts that you would go for. Nothing towards the clitoris.

50:38 Caller And is the recovery time long?

50:39 Drew It can take, you know, the recovery time has to do with how long the sutures are going to dissolve. And, you know, usually you would use sutures that would take about four to six weeks to completely dissolve.

50:48 Adam You got to stay off the vagina for four to six weeks.

50:51 Drew That would mean a four to six week break. That's right.

50:53 Adam Hey, Trevor, we had a guy in here who did this, did Hyman Reconstruction and did all sorts of cosmetic stuff involving the vagina. And boy, you know you've run out of things to do as a society when you're getting into making that part look a little nicer. But he, you know, he did it for a living. But it wasn't all that expensive and it wasn't all that bizarre complicated.

51:21 Caller I mean, is it a common?

51:22 Caller Did he get a lot of, did he do a lot of?

51:24 Adam I'd say about one out of every two women has this done. No, it's not common for most women, but this guy's probably done hundreds or thousands of them over the years. How common is it in all women though?

51:35 Caller Because I've been probably with 10 or 15 women.

51:36 Caller I've never seen anything like it.

51:39 Drew You know, honestly Trevor, I've run into this very rarely where somebody goes out of their way to say, you know, I feel a little, it's just, it's kind of an unusual thing to say. I've heard it before, but it's unusual.

51:51 Adam You have seen thousands of vaginas, right, Dr. Ben?

51:56 Drew Okay, so you-

51:56 Adam Quiet down there, Trevor. Just listen up. Yes.

51:59 Drew So what's the, so where are you getting at? What's the point? Where are we going with this?

52:04 Adam Oh, I just love it when you play stupid. What I'm saying is, is professionally and socially, you've seen millions maybe of vaginas. Maybe, maybe if you count each, you know, you know, if there's four, you got the labia majora and minora, and there's four per vagina, it could be into the hundreds of millions now that you've seen. They come in all different shapes and sizes, correct?

52:29 Drew Okay.

52:30 Adam And do you see the larger labia? How common is that? I guess that's what Trevor's asking. Not how often do people want to change it, but how often do you see it out there?

52:42 Drew People come in all sizes and shapes and you do, you know, everybody's different and you see some that are bigger and some that are smaller and then, you know, overwhelmingly, if they are bigger, it doesn't bother people, which is an interesting, you know, when you start having people that are to the point where they want to work on it, you have to kind of wonder what the motivation is and where they're coming from.

53:02 Adam That's a very good point.

53:03 Drew And where that comes from.

53:04 Adam Yeah, unless it's, you know, grotesquely large, but it's probably not.

53:08 Drew I have never seen something grotesquely large. I can say that.

53:11 Adam Also, with the current pubic hairstyles that the ladies are wearing down there, which you must keep on top of in your profession, you know, there's not as much covering it up down there. So you know what I'm saying? It's kind of like, you know, when they say you got to get in shape for the summer because you're walking around in a tank top. This is like women have to do this with the current trends in keeping the hair crop short down there. You kind of get to see everything. Everyone becomes a gynecologist. So in back in the 70s, you probably wouldn't have known it on this woman because the hair would have come down to a point where you wouldn't have noticed it. See what I'm saying?

53:48 Caller Yeah.

53:48 Adam So I do a lot of thinking.

53:51 Caller Yeah, you.

53:52 Adam Thank you.

53:53 Caller You do.

53:53 Adam Okay. So, Trevor, your job is to make her feel like this is a gift, not a curse, and that she's special and does not need to do this. And it's surgery, man.

54:05 Drew It is.

54:06 Adam And I don't have a vagina, though it's been argued that I do, but technically I don't. But if I had a vagina, I would not want that. That'd be the last part I'd want touched.

54:17 Drew It's painful.

54:18 Adam Thank you.

54:19 Drew Recovery is painful.

54:20 Adam My vagina is the size of a 50-gallon drum. Andy?

54:25 Caller Oh, hey there. Hi.

54:26 Adam Hey, 24. What's up?

54:27 Caller Yeah, I've got a question probably for Dr. Ben, because hopefully I've found out more about it. A question about emergency contraception in California. That recent law that Wilson signed, I think October or something, you can get over the counter. Now.

54:43 Drew Okay, Andy, I'm listening.

54:44 Caller Okay. Would you know of where people can head for, specifically in general, like, you know, hey, head down to the local Wal-Mart, Savons, et cetera? What establishments have it, you know, rarely available, say, you know, tomorrow, tonight, if things happen?

55:00 Drew Right. Although I have to say, Andy, that at this point, I'm not aware of any law that's currently on the books that allows anybody to give it out without a prescription. But I think that would be great. You know, in other countries, birth control pills are given without prescriptions, and emergency contraception is basically, you know, one form of emergency contraception is essentially taking birth control pills in somewhat larger quantities. And I think it would be a great law to have on the books where, specifically with emergency contraception, to allow people to have access to these things.

55:36 Adam So as per usual, the pussy politicians won't touch this with a 10-foot pole because everything is about, you know, staying away from this subject. It's just total taboo. And people are completely misinformed about this. And it's sad. And it's sad that I was talking to that old bag Maxine Waters. What is she? What is she, like an assemblywoman or something? She doesn't even know where she is. I saw her last time. I did Politically Incorrect. I did Politically Incorrect today. That's why I'm on this JAG. But I ran into her last time. I did it about four months ago. And I asked her, what are you doing about this emergency contraception? And she said, oh, she didn't know what it is, what it was. And then she said she'd have to look into it and see how safe it was. And she'd want to research it a little more. The classic politician, Maxine Waters is like Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son. Oh, only dumber. She didn't know where she was. She had like eyeballs like spinning around like a slot machine. And so I said to her, hey, there's no research to be done. It's perfectly safe. Why aren't you getting into this? Well, I mean, it's just more more double speak by the by the politicians. And I said, listen, your constituency could use this. I mean, these are your people. And she had no idea what I was talking about. And I'm sure she's done nothing. She's too busy arguing about secondhand smoke and important topics like that. So, Andy?

57:11 Caller Yeah. Thing is that in California, that bill hasn't passed. And it took effect January 1st yesterday.

57:17 Adam Oh, good.

57:18 Caller So it's like SB 116.

57:20 Adam Well, I don't think Walmart is going to do it. They're not going to have it. They're fine with firearms. But when it comes to this kind of taboo stuff, they're not into that. I mean, it's.

57:32 Caller Right. Part of me, it's kind of like, you know, to help, like, you know, get get the word out.

57:37 Adam Yeah.

57:37 Caller Like what I do and you know what you've you've been doing, Adam, with Dr. Drew and Dr. Ben, Dr. Bruce, et cetera, get the word out. Yes, it is legally available without a prescription.

57:49 Drew Where? And you don't know where, Andy, right?

57:50 Caller In the state of California, also in the state of Alaska.

57:54 Adam Well, that's a drive.

57:56 Caller Yeah. It is good to go and you're legally able to get it.

58:01 Adam Well, good, Andy, you keep spreading the word and we'll do the same. And I just, to me, it's such a no brainer. And, you know, it's like all you right wing Bible thumpers, you're so against abortion. Yet as soon as somebody comes up with an idea that might cut into your precious abortions just a little bit, you're not a fan of that either. So what is it? Are you lying? Do you know what I mean? Do you really not? Do you want to get rid of abortion or you just want to complain and sort of tell people what to do? It's you know what it is. People hate the idea of people having sex for free. They want them to be held accountable and they can't stand the idea that people can have sex, possibly meaningless sex, and walk away with no repercussions. They don't like that. That's what it is. When they say they don't like abortion, it's not the abortion part they don't like. It's the fact that these people out of wedlock are having unholy sex and then just walk away. That's what they don't like because the second you say to them, hey, you don't like abortions, here's a way to cut into it. We got this emergency contraception pill. None of them are for it. How do you explain that? Part of it is, is they have a sort of retarded scientific logic that thinks the earth is 2,000 years old and there's some parting of some seas and some burning bushes and that kind of retarded voodoo biblical logic. The other part is, they're angry people that don't like the idea of folks having sex. That's why they don't want it. Can you give me an explanation why people aren't for this?

59:41 Drew I can't because I'm on the side of the issue that people should be able to have this available to them. And I've seen when this is not available, what can happen. And it's definitely easier to just make it available to everyone.

59:57 Adam Why don't the doctors band together and try to get this message across?

1:00:03 Drew I know there are doctors that are members of some of the organizations that are pushing very hard to get this across. But doctors are also members of organizations that don't want to get this across.

1:00:13 Adam Well, there's pharmacists who won't hand it out because they think it's an abortion pill.

1:00:18 Drew Everybody's got an opinion, and just because they're a pharmacist or a doctor doesn't mean that they're all falling in line. So you've got people on separate sides of the issue in the medical profession, the health care profession.

1:00:28 Adam Why in general, and I scream this at Drew all the time and he has no good answer, although he rarely has a good answer for any question I give him, which is, what's with the prescription for everything? Why do I need a prescription for crab cream? Do I need a goddamn prescription for crab cream?

1:00:47 Drew Not in every country, but in this country, you seem to need one for everything.

1:00:50 Adam Why?

1:00:52 Drew Well, some of the crab shampoos cannot be, for example, they can have theoretical side effects for things like in pregnancy, for example. So you wouldn't want to make it available without at least somebody talking to you about it. But in many countries, a pharmacist can does this and basically, you know, once a patient's counseled can buy it over the counter without a prescription, but with a pharmacist's counselor.

1:01:15 Adam Yeah, let the guy who sells it to you tell you, hey, if you're praying that don't use it.

1:01:19 Drew Yeah. So, you know, definitely, it's definitely a lot harder to get things in this country than in other places and sometimes to the detriment of, you know, free access to some very, very needed medications.

1:01:31 Adam Well, it just seems like anything that works needs a prescription. You can get crab shampoo that's good for the crabs. It's actually shampoo for the crabs. It cleans the crabs. That you can get. No problem. But the stuff that actually kills the crab, you got to go blow a doctor to get that. And people are embarrassed about this. So they don't want to talk to their physician about it. Or maybe it's the morning after pill we're talking about here. And it just seems to me like it would just be a better place if people could get the stuff they needed and not have to, especially uneducated, uninformed young people who don't have resources, who cannot get their hands on this stuff. And there's a window, especially when it comes to the morning after pill, that once that window closes, now you've got another unwanted pregnancies. And all you freaks out there who are freaked out against abortion, guess what? Now you got a real abortion. Idiots. And where are the politicians? They make me sick. They never touch this. They never talk about it. They're such pussies.

1:02:31 Drew Lina, Lina, Lina, Lina Culver City, Lina, Lina.

1:02:36 It was Venus.

1:02:38 Adam All right. Well, hold on. I'm disgusted at her. Disgusted at all of you tonight. Nina.

1:02:45 Caller Yeah.

1:02:45 Adam There you go.

1:02:46 Drew OK.

1:02:48 Caller How are you doing tonight?

1:02:49 Adam Good.

1:02:49 Drew Good.

1:02:50 Caller OK. I actually had a question about cramps. OK. I was extremely involved in skating for a long time and I quit doing that. And all of a sudden I get these horrendous cramps where I can't stand up, I can't work, I can't sleep, I can't do anything really. I need at least like two thousand milligrams of like a leaf to end it.

1:03:12 Drew So Nina, you basically, how old were you when you first started having periods?

1:03:16 Caller Fourteen.

1:03:17 Drew And you had a period of time that you weren't having these problems. Yeah.

1:03:21 Caller There was a long period of time. And as soon as I became unactive, it just picked up. I just don't know what was wrong.

1:03:30 Drew Were you ever taking birth control pills during any time?

1:03:33 Adam What does this have to do with skating?

1:03:35 Caller Well I thought maybe it had something to do with being physically active.

1:03:39 Drew Well if you were lighter and you've put on some weight, it could potentially have something to do with that. Because you're making more estrogen when you're a little heavier. And that can increase menstrual flow.

1:03:52 Adam What kind of skating?

1:03:53 Caller Figure skating.

1:03:54 Adam Oh really? Where do you go down there? To that Laurel Plaza Mall?

1:03:58 Caller I actually go to El Segundo, the HealthSelf Training Center.

1:04:01 Adam Oh, you're pretty serious, right? Are you going to go for the Olympics?

1:04:04 Caller Trying to.

1:04:05 Drew Wow.

1:04:06 Caller Yeah. So I picked it up again, but they're still here. I don't know. I thought maybe it could be like ovarian cysts or something.

1:04:14 Drew Well let me take you through some of the stuff that you would need to go through in order to figure out what's going on. So you definitely need a quick physical exam and perhaps even. Yeah. You need to go to a gynecologist, get a quick physical exam, perhaps even a gynecologic ultrasound just to be sure that there isn't anything anatomic going on. As long as the anatomy checks out okay, you definitely have some choices. One is birth control pills that have been shown to decrease menstrual cramping by at least 50 percent. And the other thing would be if you don't want to take a pill every day is to do exactly what you've been doing and take an anti-inflammatory on an as-needed basis.

1:04:46 Caller Is there anyone you can recommend other than Aleve? Because I think I'm becoming immune to that, so I have to keep taking a higher dosage every time. You can't. I think it's dangerous, isn't it, for stomach bleeding?

1:04:55 Drew Okay, so you can't really get immune to an anti-inflammatory per se, but you can definitely try other anti-inflammatories that may be more effective. And for example, you see some patients who do well with one and, you know, then not do well with another, and you just kind of tend to find your way, and you have plenty over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. The one that I really like is just Advil ibuprofen. So Motrin Advil ibuprofen. You need to take about 800 milligrams with meals to protect the stomach lining. So you go with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 800 milligrams at a time. Usually the over-the-counter tablets are 200 milligrams, so you will need to take four tablets three times a day with breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a total of 12 tablets a day.

1:05:34 Adam Really?

1:05:34 Drew That'll work.

1:05:36 Adam You know, none of that stuff's got any pop in it, you know? That's my problem with the over-the-counter stuff. I'm what you call a heavyweight. Nothing seems to work too good for me. Like, uh, Drew gives me one of his industrial strength sleeping pills that he scores, you know, because he's a doctor. He gives me one of those. I wash down with a couple of Bloody Marys. I still talk his ear off all the way to New York on the plane. Much to his dismay.

1:06:01 Drew He just tried to keep you quiet.

1:06:02 Adam Yeah, no. He wants to take his ASAT test or something on his Scantron paper, but he doesn't fool me. Here's my point. I want a store called the Adult Store that you get to go to.

1:06:15 Drew And buy the Big Boys pills.

1:06:16 Adam Here's the bottom line.

1:06:17 Drew Yeah.

1:06:18 Adam I don't know why. I'm going on a jag tonight, but these crappy attorneys and horrible, horrible human beings have really destroyed the earth for me.

1:06:26 Drew The attorneys did?

1:06:27 Adam Yeah, the attorneys.

1:06:28 Drew Okay.

1:06:28 Adam Here's what I'm saying. The horrible, horrible people that have sued hundreds of times, and then the horrible leech, crackpot attorneys that represent these people. I went into a Robix juice place today. I bought that 20 bucks worth of juice.

1:06:46 Drew Wow.

1:06:46 Adam I want to do what? Then use the bathroom, and they said, sorry, you cannot. They knew me there. I've been there. They say you cannot. Why can't I use the bathroom? Because I could slip, and they're not insured. And here's the deal. So this is why. Anybody who sued more than three people in their life should just have their head taken off, because they're screwing all of us slowly. Now, I got to take a leak out in the parking lot because some pussy is suing, you understand? We all get screwed and no one even knows it. I can't take a leak at the Jews' place because I could sue them, and their attorney says, you know what? Nobody but employees goes back here because we just can't chance it. And then we slowly get crushed. That's it. We can only take a leak at home, and even that may come to an end soon one day if somebody gets sued for taking a leak in their own bathroom. But here's what I want. I want the adult store. I want to get the lighter that doesn't have the childproof thing on it. I want the aspirin that doesn't take three hands and a pair of channel locks to get the goddamn lid off of. I want to go in there and I want to get some industrial strength sleeping pills. I want to get some crab cream and a bottle of tequila. And when you walk through the door of the adult store, you've waived all rights. You can no longer sue anybody. If I get hopped up on these painkillers or on this this Tylenol with the extra shot of codeine in it, or I OD on the crab cream, or I take too much of the morning after pill, there's no legal recourse. I bought it at the adult store. Or if I set my trailer on fire because I got hopped up on the extra codeine Tylenol and then started experimenting with the lighter and burnt my house down, you know what? No legal recourse. I bought it at the adult store. Because I spend my life trying to negotiate a lighter that's meant not to be used and trying to get the camp off mouthwash that was never meant to come off because a retarded kid OD'd on it eight years ago somewhere in Alabama. That's what I want. I want the adult store.

1:08:48 Drew I think it's called Tijuana.

1:08:49 Adam Oh, is that what it is?

1:08:50 Drew Yeah, you can just go to Tijuana.

1:08:51 Adam You're right. I'm going to Tijuana. It's very smart. Oh, please. Just give me some sleeping pills that work. That's all I want. I promise. Go to Tijuana? Okay. We're going to take a little break. I'm going to talk to Dr. Ben about wet sleeping pills. I actually have some kick to them. And we'll be back after this. Hello.

1:09:27 Caller Love Line, an arcade.

1:09:37 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben is filling in for Dr. Drew, who will be here on Sunday night, back in the throne. All right. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Ray. Well, hold on a second, Ray. What's this chick's name?

1:10:03 Drew I think it was Lena.

1:10:05 Adam Yeah, but it wasn't Lena.

1:10:06 Drew She didn't like Lena.

1:10:06 Adam It was Venus.

1:10:07 Drew Venus. That's right.

1:10:08 Adam Hey, Venus.

1:10:09 Hello.

1:10:10 Adam Hey. You're 18.

1:10:12 Caller Yes, I am.

1:10:12 Adam All right. What's up?

1:10:14 Caller Okay. I've been with my boyfriend for about three years. And it's been really good. You know, he was my high school love and everything. So of course I love him. But for the past six months, he's had different friends because they got a new job. And like when we do it, you know, it's like he wants to do it in my butt, in my ass. And that's not very comfortable.

1:10:36 Adam I see.

1:10:37 Caller But I went for it because I was like, okay, well maybe, you know, okay, maybe he wants to try new things. But now it's like for the past month, that's the only way he wants it. And before he's, when my friends would come over, he'd be like, yeah, let's have a threesome with one of your friends or something. One of my friends from my job. And we've done it like twice. And now he doesn't even ask for that.

1:10:58 Adam Wait a minute. He did the, did you do the threesome thing or he did the butt thing?

1:11:02 Caller Yeah, we've done it in the past.

1:11:03 Adam Oh, the threesome?

1:11:04 Caller Yeah, we've done it before.

1:11:06 Adam Oh, sure.

1:11:07 Caller And now he doesn't even ask for that. He wants to go out with his friend who works nights now. I mean, everything has just been changing. And I don't know whether to ask more. Are you gay?

1:11:17 Adam Well, wait a second. Wait a second. The threesome, was that with you and him and a girl?

1:11:23 Caller Yeah.

1:11:23 Adam And a girl. And he had sex with her?

1:11:26 Caller Uh, yeah.

1:11:27 Adam Yeah?

1:11:28 Caller And me and we would do, yeah.

1:11:30 Adam And who was the girl?

1:11:32 Caller Oh, just one of my friends from my old job.

1:11:35 Adam Were you working at the slut factory?

1:11:38 Caller No.

1:11:40 Adam What the hell goes on here? Yeah. Where was I? What is this? I work with felons and illegals and we did nothing. Nothing. Jesus Christ. And it didn't bother you to watch her have sex with your friend?

1:11:59 Caller No, because this is like, well, she's been my best friend forever.

1:12:02 Adam Oh, well, you guys are tight. It's okay.

1:12:04 Caller It's totally fine.

1:12:05 Drew It's different.

1:12:06 Caller I don't know. And now he doesn't even want to do that. And like, normally we'd have like wild sex. And now it's just like one person now.

1:12:14 Adam Hey, what happened to you, Venus? What's wrong with you? Something's up.

1:12:18 Caller With me?

1:12:19 Adam Where's your dad?

1:12:20 Caller My dad? Me and him don't talk.

1:12:22 Adam Why not?

1:12:24 Caller Because he doesn't want to have nothing to do with me.

1:12:26 Adam Why not?

1:12:28 Caller I guess it's because the way I am. I'm different from all his other kids. I dress like in black and I'm into like the Gothic scene. And he thinks like that's horrible.

1:12:39 Adam Why do you think? Did he do anything bad to you growing up?

1:12:43 Caller No, he never, well, he was always in that in my life because my dad and my mom were never married, so.

1:12:47 Adam Oh, you got a lot of brothers and sisters?

1:12:51 Caller Yeah, I have younger. I have two younger brothers and two younger sisters.

1:12:55 Caller By him?

1:12:57 Caller No, one was by my mom and my stepdad and the other one was just by him and his wife, which his wife hates me.

1:13:04 Adam Everyone hates everyone, huh? Yeah. What about your younger brothers and sisters? Are they being taken care of?

1:13:10 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:13:11 Adam All right. So you're into that goth crap?

1:13:14 Caller I'm not into it, but I dress in black, but I don't like to do their.

1:13:18 Adam Yeah. When did you lose your virginity?

1:13:20 Caller When I was 15.

1:13:21 Adam Right. And no, no. With who? Oh, your crazy boyfriend.

1:13:25 Caller Yeah.

1:13:26 Adam And no trauma. No one ever did anything bad to you, beat on you or anything.

1:13:30 Caller No.

1:13:31 Adam It just got into that black thing, huh?

1:13:33 Caller Yeah. I just I mean, I like the color black and my best friends into that. We just like been like that ever since we were in grade.

1:13:41 Adam OK. Well, why don't you break up with this guy?

1:13:44 Caller I mean, I don't know, because he I love him and everything. I just don't know.

1:13:49 Adam Well, what's not to love? But I think it's maybe run its course. Don't you think?

1:13:55 Caller But I don't know. Like he always tells me we're going to get married and all that stuff. But I mean, OK, if I if I have these things that he's gay, well, why do you think he's gay?

1:14:04 Adam Why do you think he's gay?

1:14:05 Caller Because that's the only way that he wants to do it now. And I mean, he is.

1:14:09 Adam Well, that doesn't make you gay. It just makes you a prick.

1:14:11 Caller Yeah. But for the past six months.

1:14:13 Adam And listen, that just makes you aggressive. It doesn't make you gay.

1:14:17 Caller I don't know. That's kind of weird for me.

1:14:21 Adam OK. Well, once you once you have a sit down with him and so your ass is covered and then you can have a discussion about why it is that's the only way he wants to do it. And just tell me you don't like that, you don't like that. It doesn't feel loving enough for you.

1:14:39 Caller I know. But what would provoke him to be gay?

1:14:40 Adam What would... I don't know. He's gay. That's for sure. Hey, here's a question. What would provoke you to stay with a gay guy? I don't know. I'd love to. All right. Why don't you think about that, screwball? Time to start listening, goddammit. Drew, please. He's definitely gay. So why are you with a homo? I don't know. All right. Why don't you think about that, all right? Who's the idiot here? He's gay. You're with him. Think about that. You do the math. You've become a fag hag now.

1:15:12 Caller Okay. I'll do that.

1:15:13 Adam All right. You think about that. Meanwhile, don't ever get pregnant.

1:15:18 Caller Oh, no.

1:15:19 Adam Don't get pregnant. You hear me?

1:15:20 Drew She can't get pregnant that way.

1:15:22 Caller No.

1:15:22 Adam Okay. That's good. Oh, yes. You should keep. Okay. Don't get pregnant. All right.

1:15:27 Caller I'm not. I have things to prevent.

1:15:28 Adam Good. Good. Good. All right.

1:15:31 Caller Thank you.

1:15:32 Adam Take care of yourself.

1:15:34 Drew Tough love.

1:15:35 Adam Well, look, I told her five times she wasn't listening, so screw her. Ray?

1:15:40 Caller Yeah.

1:15:40 Adam You're 16?

1:15:41 Caller Yeah. First off, I love the show and Adam, you're God.

1:15:45 Adam Thank you. Yeah, I know.

1:15:48 Caller Yeah. So like on Tuesday, me and my girlfriend were having sex and then like she's about to climax, I think. And then like right before she did it, she tightened up like really tight. And yeah. And then she I pulled out and then I was like, you know, what's up? And she said, I don't know. I've never done that before. And then the next day when I was trying to urinate, I hurt like a lot.

1:16:14 Adam Yeah. You think it's because she clamped down on you?

1:16:16 Caller Yeah.

1:16:18 Drew No, no, that doesn't make sense.

1:16:20 Adam Now you could slam your pecker in a door, wouldn't do anything to it.

1:16:23 Caller Well, I was just wondering, because like it hurts to urinate.

1:16:26 Adam No, no, that's a thing. Got a problem. Like a venereal disease or something.

1:16:30 Drew And then there's other things that you need to look into. But that wouldn't what what what you're describing wouldn't do that. Sure. Yeah.

1:16:37 Adam I think you may be making this up.

1:16:39 Caller No, no, no.

1:16:41 Adam OK. Well, if it hurts, where does it hurt?

1:16:43 Drew You need to get this looked at.

1:16:47 Adam You go have that looked at.

1:16:49 Drew Either way, you need to get it looked at. But I wouldn't think of that first. I would think of other things. And especially if you guys weren't using condoms, there's a lot of things that this could be. So I would definitely get it looked at.

1:16:59 Adam Yeah. It's not like she got his pecker in a sleeper hole or something and did some nerve damage to it. You know what I like about you, Ben, besides you listening to me. Yeah, which I'm sure would be...

1:17:14 Drew Drew doesn't listen to you?

1:17:15 Adam No, he does not.

1:17:16 Drew Okay.

1:17:17 Adam But that would... I'm not kidding myself. You know, if you were here for three days, that'd be over with, I'm sure. But the fact that you come in twice a year and you listen... Right. You know, you're a logical thinker. See, Drew and other people, they go, oh, no, no, no, well, wait a minute. If she clamped, no way. It's all moist down there. She clamps. First off, it's not like her vagina gets a running start at his penis. It's already wrapped around his penis. It tightens up a little. Not so tight that he can't slide it out. That does zero damage, zero. It's almost a mathematical impossibility for it to do any real damage. And that's why I think that was a bogus call because I think he was trying to create a scenario in which we think it could do some damage, but we're too smart. You know about vaginas. I know about penises. Together, we're unstoppable. You got a pair of brand new roller skates. I got a brand new key. You know what I'm saying? Gotcha. I love schlong. Audrey?

1:18:15 Yeah.

1:18:16 Adam You're 19?

1:18:17 Caller Yeah.

1:18:18 Adam We could take over the world. Our knowledge of my rudimentary knowledge of penis and the workings of the adolescent mind and Dr. Ben and his knowledge of the vagina.

1:18:29 Caller Okay.

1:18:30 Adam Rule the world. You hear me?

1:18:31 Caller Yeah, I hear you. I'm really nervous. I don't know why.

1:18:33 Adam All right. Well, don't be.

1:18:35 Caller Okay. Could I ask you my question?

1:18:38 Drew Yeah, go ahead, Andre.

1:18:40 Caller Okay. Like, I'm a virgin and I want to stay one until for a while.

1:18:45 Drew Okay.

1:18:45 Caller And then I was wondering, like, could masturbation, like, get any diseases or, like, prevent me from, like, having babies or anything in the future?

1:18:53 Drew No.

1:18:54 Caller At all?

1:18:55 Drew No.

1:18:56 Adam No.

1:18:56 Drew You're fine.

1:18:57 Adam What did you do? Were you, like, a homeschooling kid?

1:18:59 Caller No. It's just that, like, I don't know. I'm just not... I just want to save myself for marriage, but then...

1:19:05 Adam No, I mean, how come you don't know anything about how any of this stuff works?

1:19:08 Caller I don't know. It's like, I don't want to dig into it, because it's kind of personal. It's kind of weird to ask people, so...

1:19:14 Adam Right. I don't know. I understand. But you thought maybe masturbation could screw up your opportunity to have kids?

1:19:20 Caller I don't know. It's just, like, like, could it lead to any diseases or anything like that?

1:19:25 Drew No.

1:19:25 Caller At all? Like, is it totally normal?

1:19:28 Drew It's fine.

1:19:29 Adam What are you going to do? Are you going to give yourself syphilis?

1:19:32 Caller No.

1:19:33 Adam What do you think is going to happen?

1:19:36 Caller That's what I wanted to know.

1:19:37 Adam No, you could piss off God. You ever think about that?

1:19:40 Drew Oh, Adam, it's true.

1:19:41 Caller Yeah, and that's, I feel bad about that, too.

1:19:43 Adam Yeah, because you're a religious person, right?

1:19:46 Caller Yeah.

1:19:46 Adam Right, that's why you're a virgin. They hear you are attacking yourself at your own hand. Pleasuring yourself at your own hand. That's a sin, you know.

1:19:55 Caller Is it? I know it's bad, but the, it's hard, I guess.

1:19:59 Adam It's there in Deuteronomy.

1:20:01 Caller Yeah.

1:20:02 Adam It says, Thou should not seek pleasure at one's hand, at one's own hand.

1:20:06 You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

1:20:08 Caller Oh my God, that was mean.

1:20:10 Adam You shouldn't covet your neighbor's hand or accent either. Okay. All right, so I'm just saying, if you're staying a virgin because, you know, religious beliefs, then, you know, you're masturbating. That's a slap in the face to the Lord. Yeah. Slap in the face. Yeah. But not as bad. It would be worse to have sex.

1:20:27 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:20:28 Adam So this is better. This is better. Are you a big gal?

1:20:32 Caller Am I big?

1:20:33 Caller Yeah.

1:20:33 Caller Not really.

1:20:34 Adam Okay.

1:20:35 Caller Yeah.

1:20:35 Adam I was looking if there was any other, you know, motivation there. Do you have boyfriends?

1:20:42 Caller I've had some, but then it's like, I think I grew up a lot faster than my peers because, like, I had a rough childhood.

1:20:49 Adam Uh-oh.

1:20:50 Caller And then I think because of that, I don't really click with my age group right now.

1:20:53 Adam What happened to you?

1:20:55 Caller My parents just divorced, and I was just, like, forced to grow up on my own and, like, stuff like that, I guess.

1:21:00 Adam Okay. So you want to be a virgin until you're married?

1:21:03 Caller Yeah, that's my plan.

1:21:04 Adam Okay. Well, that's, look, I think that's fine. You meet, uh, meet, what about oral sex?

1:21:12 Caller Um, I haven't got to that point yet.

1:21:14 Adam Wow. Wow. Like, you have almost no mileage on you.

1:21:17 Caller Yeah, basically.

1:21:18 Caller That's absolutely amazing.

1:21:19 Caller I want to, I want to stay a virgin, so I just avoid myself from all those consequences.

1:21:25 Adam How often do you masturbate?

1:21:27 Caller Not often. It's just like, it would just go on for like, I don't know, like maybe once a week or something like that.

1:21:33 Adam Right. Okay. All right. Are you doing all right? You're going to, what do you go? Go to junior college or something?

1:21:40 Caller Yeah.

1:21:40 Caller All right.

1:21:40 Adam Shocking.

1:21:41 Caller So, I'm doing well now, but then it's just like.

1:21:44 Caller Yeah.

1:21:44 Adam All right, baby.

1:21:45 Caller Okay.

1:21:46 Caller Thank you so much.

1:21:46 Adam Will you take care of yourself?

1:21:47 Caller Okay.

1:21:48 Adam It's great. It's good that you're a virgin.

1:21:49 Caller Thank you.

1:21:50 Adam I think that that's very refreshing in this day and age.

1:21:53 Caller Thank you very much.

1:21:53 Adam All right. And you can, you know, I know it sounded like I was poking fun at her and I was, but think of how much trouble a young lady can steer clear of by just not leaving the house. I mean, I mean, there's just from doing the show, it's just that every single piece of trouble that comes to a young woman's life seems to be attached to a young man somehow. And and and vice versa to some degree, but more so for women. And I just, I don't think it's a bad plan. Maybe not until marriage, but hang on till, you know, 18, 19, couldn't wait as as your people would say.

1:22:35 Drew Nothing wrong with that.

1:22:36 Adam Nothing wrong with that. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Desiree, who's got a problem with her uterus tipping after a C-section. Is it, is it, what's the etiquette on tipping a uterus and 15%?

1:22:53 Drew Five bucks.

1:22:54 Adam Five?

1:22:55 Drew Nah, just across the board.

1:22:58 Adam So it's just a straight five, not 15 or 20%?

1:23:01 Caller No.

1:23:02 Adam Okay. We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:23:06 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:23:46 Adam Hey, everybody. It's the Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew who will be here on Sunday night. And let's see if we can power through a few more calls before we run out of time. Desiree?

1:24:04 Caller Yeah.

1:24:05 Adam Twenty-seven wants to know if it's a count for, oh, yes, the uterus to tip after a C-section.

1:24:11 Caller Yeah.

1:24:11 Adam What about it, Ben?

1:24:13 Drew Well, maybe Desiree can rephrase the question, or where does this come from? Give me a little background. What's going on?

1:24:19 Caller Well, I had my daughter six years ago.

1:24:23 Caller Two years ago, I had a miscarriage.

1:24:25 Caller When they were doing their sonogram and examining me, the doctor said, wow, you know, they had a really hard time examining me.

1:24:34 Caller Said your uterus is tipped forward.

1:24:36 Drew Yeah.

1:24:36 Caller And he says, you know, is that common after a C-section? I don't know. I mean, because I really didn't, after I had her, I didn't really rest.

1:24:44 Caller That was, I started lifting.

1:24:46 Drew No, first of all, you had nothing to do with this. Whatever, whatever happened, your body was healed regardless of what activity you did. But the only, you know, let me just describe specifically what, what's done when you have a C-section. So, so an incision is made in the lower abdomen. You go through the superficial skin layer, the fat. We talked about spreading the muscle apart and then getting to the uterus itself. And then you sew all those layers back up together. They're all obviously, the entrance is, as well as all the other incisions that are made, are made in the front. In other words, underneath the belly button and in the front. And so when the body heals, they're scarring and the scars are all in the front. And as you can imagine, when something scars up to the front, it can start pulling on things that are in front of it. And so the uterus can get tipped forward. It's not at all unusual. Some people scar more than other people. If you've ever seen somebody, for example, who keloids, if you've ever seen what a keloid scar looks like, you know, where it gets really, really thick, you know, some people can do that underneath the skin. The external skin looks fine, but then there's really thick scar tissue underneath the skin and that can really yank and pull things in different directions. And that may have happened to you.

1:26:00 Caller Is that going to affect if I choose to get pregnant?

1:26:03 Drew No, absolutely not. So there's no long-term effects.

1:26:07 Adam Good times. Valerie.

1:26:11 Caller 17.

1:26:12 Adam 17. I'm sorry. What's up?

1:26:15 Caller I was wondering if it's possible to get pregnant by small income.

1:26:20 Adam If you regurgitate it into your vagina, perhaps. That's what mother birds do to get their offspring pregnant.

1:26:29 Caller I kind of knew that, but...

1:26:31 Adam You know about the birds? Orally? Orally. Really? Is this, again, home schooling going on here?

1:26:38 Caller No, but, I mean...

1:26:39 Adam Do you have a biology teacher at school?

1:26:42 Caller No, I mean, I don't mean to sound stupid, but...

1:26:44 Adam Ooh, it's too late...

1:26:45 Caller .50% of the people...

1:26:47 Adam 50%, yes.

1:26:48 Caller Yeah, 50% of the people I talk to say, Yeah, yeah.

1:26:50 Caller I'm like, no, no.

1:26:51 Adam Right. But those are your friends. I mean, you gotta look at it that way.

1:26:54 Caller Yeah.

1:26:55 Adam They're skewing stupid, right?

1:26:57 Caller Yeah, they're also a bunch of virgins, too.

1:26:58 Adam All right, they're idiots. Please. Please.

1:27:01 Drew Yikes.

1:27:02 Adam Please. You've insulted the doctor. Thank you. It cannot be done. Yeah, it can't be done. All right. Good times. Good times. Ractally, though. Now, that's a layup. That's gonna happen. Andrea?

1:27:16 Yeah.

1:27:16 Adam You're 24. You want to... It's been two years since you've had a regular cycle.

1:27:21 Caller Right.

1:27:21 Adam Oh, Christ. Make this fast, Ben. I've had enough vagina talk.

1:27:25 Drew Basically, do you have any other medical problems, Andrea?

1:27:27 Caller No.

1:27:28 Drew Okay. You're not on any medications?

1:27:31 Caller No.

1:27:31 Drew And you're not taking birth control pills?

1:27:33 Caller No.

1:27:35 Drew A couple of things that could be. A very cursory examination can get to the bottom line, but you've had regular cycles before. They just kind of stop.

1:27:43 Caller Right. Completely regular. I've been doing it until November of 1999.

1:27:47 Drew Okay. Weight changes, thyroid disorders, prolactin disorders. There's a couple of tests and a quick exam, and you'll get to the bottom of it really quickly with a very brief visit to your doctor.

1:27:58 Caller The thing is that I've gone to the doctor before, and I've had all my hormone levels checked and everything. Those have come back normal. I am, you know, obviously, overweight for...

1:28:08 Drew Okay. So we talked about weight changes.

1:28:10 Caller But, I mean, I've been kind of this way for a while. So it's not like it's a drastic weight change or anything like that. So that's what I'm kind of confused on. I'm getting these different, you know, messages.

1:28:23 Drew So again, it all depends on how, basically, brief or complete your blood workup is. You said hormones. There's definitely a couple of hormones that need to be looked at. And those, hopefully, have been done, prolactin levels and thyroid hormone levels specifically. But if it bothers you all that much, you know, generally, once we've ruled out kind of the big bad things, we can regulate you if you want to, specifically by putting you on birth control pills or if you want just the reassurance of knowing there's nothing wrong with you and actually don't have a problem with being irregular, there's nothing wrong with that. So again, a quick visit to the doctor as long as the workup was complete. Overwhelmingly, it's going to be okay.

1:29:01 Adam Brian, you're 15. You look up to me.

1:29:06 Caller All right.

1:29:06 Caller I just need to thank you.

1:29:08 Adam Thank you.

1:29:10 Caller You don't go and you don't... Your sponsors don't tell you what to do.

1:29:17 Adam Which sponsors? Which ones? I don't think we have sponsors. All I hear is public service announcements about airplane turbulence.

1:29:25 Caller Brought to you by Westwood One and Trojan, America's number one condom, trusted for over 80 years.

1:29:31 Adam All right.

1:29:32 Caller You don't go with the people on AM Northwest and in those morning shows that are just plastic.

1:29:41 Adam I appreciate that. Let me say something about this show real fast, because I don't think people maybe understand how it works. We don't talk to anybody on this show and we never have. I have no idea what stations this show is on. I've never spoken to a sponsor. I've never spoken to a program director outside of the program director that's in Los Angeles. And we've never done any local spots or commercials and I have no idea. I have no idea and I've never had the content of this show discussed with me or anybody. It sounds bizarre and I think people maybe picture us having some meetings or talking about people adding the show or dropping the show or sponsors coming in or reading hate mail or reading mail of praise or meeting with Westwood One people. I don't know anyone at Westwood One. I've never met anybody, any sponsor and I've never had a discussion with anybody about the content of this show outside of Kevin Weatherly who is in Los Angeles and that's probably once a year. I don't like you. So, and Dr. Bruce who doesn't like me. Ann, back me up here. Is there even email that we read? I wouldn't know who the sponsors of this show are, would you?

1:31:01 Caller No, we don't talk to the last sponsor.

1:31:02 Adam We don't know anything. But thank you, Brian. And I would kiss the man's ass if I could find it. We don't talk to anybody. I don't know what's going on. But thanks, Brian. I'm guessing. It was a compliment, right?

1:31:16 Drew It sounded like a compliment.

1:31:17 Adam All right, buddy. Well, we'll keep flying the show in the face of all who try to depose us.

1:31:26 Drew I'm keeping it real, yeah.

1:31:26 Adam Except for no one tries to depose us. No one cares. The show's on late. No one's listening. Ryan?

1:31:34 Caller Yes.

1:31:34 Adam You're 21?

1:31:35 Caller Yes, I am.

1:31:37 Adam Let's see. You haven't had a date in a year.

1:31:39 Caller Yes, I have not.

1:31:41 Adam You have not. You're good looking.

1:31:43 Caller Yes.

1:31:43 Adam Yeah, but guys can do this. Good looking girls can't go a year without a date, but good looking guys can do this. Because you can be creepy.

1:31:51 Caller But it's rubbish when it happens. I have a good job.

1:31:56 Adam Yeah.

1:31:56 Caller You know, I don't have anything against me. I mean.

1:31:59 Adam Right, but maybe it's the fact that you're 21 and you're using words like rubbish. That can turn a lady off. Well, I didn't want to use the word because I'm your heir. Sounding like Alistair Cook at age 21.

1:32:11 Caller Let me tell you, I didn't want to use that word.

1:32:14 Adam But how dare you, sir? How dare you use that tone with me? Come on now. All right. So where are you going to meet girls?

1:32:23 Caller Bars?

1:32:24 Caller Bowling?

1:32:25 Caller No, not bowling, Alex.

1:32:26 Caller I don't want to hear that.

1:32:27 Caller I don't want to hear the end of that one. But yeah.

1:32:30 Adam Bowling all nerds. First off, hold on. You got to like his use of alliteration. Bars, bowling alleys, back, bath water.

1:32:46 Drew He was taking you A through Z. He got stuck on the Bs. Right.

1:32:50 Adam Okay.

1:32:51 Drew He was just getting warmed up.

1:32:52 Caller Yeah.

1:32:52 Adam He was probably moving to circuses and carnivals and then on to destruction derbies. He was going to keep rolling.

1:33:00 Caller No. You forgot church masses, you know, that sort of thing too.

1:33:05 Adam Okay. Do you live at home?

1:33:07 Caller No, I don't. You mean at home with my parents? No.

1:33:10 Caller I haven't lived at home with my parents since I was 18.

1:33:13 Adam All right. So you're out on your own.

1:33:14 Caller Yes.

1:33:15 Adam You're making a living. Yes. Everything's sort of going along okay.

1:33:20 Caller Yes.

1:33:20 Adam But you're a little bit sketchy. I can hear it in your voice. Well, you have an energy to you.

1:33:28 Caller Energy?

1:33:29 Caller I don't know what that means.

1:33:30 Caller All right.

1:33:31 Adam I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Geez. I don't know if he's screwing with us or not. And we're running late for bank.

1:33:35 Caller You are an asshole.

1:33:37 Adam Here's the deal, guys. You will talk yourself right out of the deal around women. If you got a decent car and you got a decent gig and you got a decent place, then shut up. Just shut up. Let them use that crazy, vivid imagination God blessed them with to make you think you're so much smarter, so much deeper than you actually are. The second you start blabbing and start talking about rubbish. Now, what was this? What was he saying? Poppycock? What was his word? Rubbish?

1:34:06 Drew Yeah, he said rubbish.

1:34:07 Adam You start throwing around rubbish, you freak them out. Then you start getting into politics and you just start freaking them out. Just don't talk. Just look good and make them think that you're thinking. Because women think you're thinking when you're not thinking. But if you talk, then they know you're not thinking. Yeah, okay, that's a point. No talking. That's how I didn't get laid. I talked too much. I know more talking. Starting now.

1:34:31 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:34:33 Drew You're looking to hook up sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:36 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:34:37 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:35:05 Adam All right, well, that is it for a nice short two-day week of Loveline. That felt about right. Two days felt about right. I want to thank Damien for doing a great job on the phones all week long yesterday and today. I want to thank producer Anne for putting her feminine stink on the show and booking guests, and getting in people like Dr. Ben who came in here and filled in for Dr. Drew, and did a great job tonight. I want to thank him.

1:35:35 Caller Lots of fun. Thanks.

1:35:36 Adam I want to thank engineer Anderson for sliding those potentiometers up and down and making all sound like geniuses and until next time, this is it.

1:35:49 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 3, 2002