Episode 1000754886905

3:29 Voiceover Content, content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

3:39 Voiceover Loveline, Coast to Coast.

3:42 Voiceover Hey, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. All right. Oh, I was at the dentist today. I'll get into that.

3:58 Drew Oh, yeah. I had that going.

3:59 Adam Yeah.

3:59 Drew You seem to have a fairly good spirit.

4:00 Adam Not well.

4:01 Drew You're on Vicodin.

4:02 Adam Not well. No, not yet. You got anything? No. What do you got in the car?

4:06 Drew No, I can't score for you.

4:08 Adam You can't score? Drew hates it when I use the word score. He likes to replace the word drugs with medication. Undeclared is the cast we have in tonight. Jay Bereshell is here. Carla Gallo and Seth Rogen are all here from Undeclared. Fox, Tuesday nights, 8.30. Big hit.

4:28 Guest Oh, good. I hope so.

4:30 Adam What's tomorrow? Like the 6th, 7th?

4:34 Drew 4th?

4:36 Adam 5th. Seems like it's been on longer because they worked the hell out of it like two months before it came out.

4:43 Guest They did.

4:43 Guest They beat us in the submission.

4:45 Adam But it looked, I don't know why, but maybe just because I'm in entertainment, but I always hope when I see trailers and previews that they're lame. Because you want to show is lame or that the trailers lame, therefore the show is going to suck.

5:01 Guest Right.

5:02 Adam You do it, you're sitting on your sofa and they go, coming up on NBC this fall. And then you see the trailer and you want to turn desperately the person next to you and go, that sucks. Yeah, that's going to suck. That's going to suck.

5:13 Drew That could smell that from here.

5:15 Adam They should cancel that now.

5:16 Drew Is that just envy for the fact that you've never been on a show that's had one second of promotion?

5:21 Adam Yeah, maybe that's it. I mean, it's just, no, it's just how whenever you do something, you have to say whatever it is sucked. Like when I was a carpenter, whenever there was a movie scene where the guy picked up a hammer, I'm like, he's using a finish hammer for framing. He should be using a waffle and hammer. He's got like a 12-ounce Vaughn. He should be using like a 24-ounce with a hatchet handle.

5:43 Guest That's so fake.

5:46 Adam You know if there's anything you know about, if it's cars, if it's sports.

5:49 Drew I can't watch. You cannot watch the medical shows.

5:51 Adam Okay. You watch any show, right? Totally fake. Oh, fake, fake. Never happened. Never happened.

5:55 Guest I can't watch shows about awkward people.

6:01 Adam What is it? A real funny cat. Yeah. So you just want to say, and I guess if you're on TV or if you do comedy, you have to just hate all other forms of comedy. You're like watching a preview and you go, hey, I don't see me in that. That sucks. But this, the Undeclared, I was watching for, like I said, six or eight weeks before the launch and it was like, that's good.

6:28 Guest Thanks, man.

6:29 Adam Thank you very much. They set the bar too high. They'll never keep that up.

6:33 Guest It's true. The show's actually just commercials. Yeah.

6:38 Adam So, and I was just reading here that it's from the same writer from in the producer Freaks and Geeks and Ben Stiller's show and a Larry Sanders show, which are all not only just all amazing shows, but sort of diverse, like sort of three different kinds of shows.

6:55 Guest Yeah, definitely. Judd Apatow is the man of which you speak.

6:59 Guest He's a very smart man.

7:00 Guest He's funny as hell. He makes good shows, it seems. He's the one who sucks.

7:05 Adam Well, this is one of them. And Seth, you write on the show as well?

7:08 Guest Yeah, I do a little of the writing there. They send me in, I got an office and everything. It's crazy.

7:13 Adam Do you get two paychecks?

7:17 Adam They just take the one and cut it in half?

7:19 Guest Yeah, exactly. I get four cents for writing and then eight for acting.

7:25 Adam Did you sign on as a writer first, and they were looking to fill the role?

7:30 Drew He gets to pay his writer's guild dues and his...

7:31 Guest Exactly, yeah. I'll be up in like four years. That's when I have a profit.

7:38 Adam You were there, you were on the project as a writer.

7:42 Guest Yeah, originally. And then they were casting, and I read with all the actors who were casting, and I don't know, I was right in there, it seemed like. So they cast me also. So they got me into testing.

7:53 Drew Wrote himself in.

7:54 Guest Exactly, yeah. I was writing me making out with ladies and stuff like that.

7:59 Adam And what's, and here's what I always say to Drew when it comes to these shows that take place on a college campus. What's wrong with using a college? I mean, that we know of, that exists.

8:11 Drew Why making up a name?

8:12 Guest University of Northeastern California? You probably have to pay for it. It's all, everything, every question you have, the answer is it costs less that way.

8:19 Drew You know what, you would think there'd be schools out there that would want you to use their name.

8:23 Guest Exactly.

8:24 Guest Like DeVry?

8:25 Guest Right.

8:26 Adam Yeah, I mean, you probably wouldn't want to be at every school that would want you, and it's probably a catch-22 if they want you, you don't want them.

8:34 Guest It's true, yeah.

8:35 Adam The ones you want don't want you associated with them.

8:38 Guest Yeah.

8:38 Adam But there's got to be a handful that are sort of on the fence where you could say to them, listen, why should we pay you? This is an advertisement. You know those things you run during the halftime of the football games and stuff where, you know, tradition of excellence for 27 years and two people nominated for Nobel Prizes and all that crap. This is it. We're wearing the sweatshirts. We're moving merchandise. We'll up enrollment next semester. I don't understand that and my guess is is that you may be doing things on the show that the university probably would not want to represent it.

9:12 Guest No one wants to think that I go to the school that they go to.

9:15 Adam Right. And that you're doing beer bongs in the freshman dorms.

9:20 Guest Yeah, because that doesn't happen at real school.

9:22 Adam No, not at real college. No. No, most of them are dry campuses, which just means Coke, right? I heard that. Is that true?

9:33 No, I drink alcohol.

9:34 Adam I'm sorry. All right. So Undeclared, what about tomorrow night's episode? Any analyzing tidbits? Oh, Adam Sandler.

9:42 Guest That's the Adam Sandler episode.

9:43 Adam No, why? How? When?

9:45 Guest He's careful.

9:47 Drew Go ahead, Adam. Get out of the way now.

9:48 Guest What?

9:49 Adam Why did he do this?

9:50 Drew No, why didn't you? Aren't you going to beg for a role in the show?

9:53 Adam No. How dare you, Drew? That comes in the 11 o'clock hour.

9:58 Guest You got to sweeten us up first. Yeah.

10:00 Adam Then later on after the show, we'll go out and have some beers and I'll tell you why I'm funnier now. That's like eight beers away. I look forward to it. He doesn't do too many TV shows.

10:11 Guest No. He's good friends with Judd. Judd's worked on a lot of his movies and stuff like that. They were roommates.

10:17 They did stand up together.

10:18 Adam Oh, really?

10:18 Guest Yeah.

10:20 Adam He just called him in. Yeah. What part does Adam Sandler play?

10:23 Guest He plays Adam Sandler, which is one of his better acting roles. Yeah, he's great.

10:30 Guest He performs at our school and hangs out with us one night in our dorm after the show. And it all goes to hell.

10:36 Adam Oh, so he is like doing a college tour and he does a whole performing scene and then hangs out.

10:43 Guest You don't see him perform. You just see him hanging out with us afterwards.

10:46 Adam Beautiful. Well, that'd be cool. Tomorrow night, 830 on Fox. That's right. Yeah, what was I? Oh, yeah, I was at the Orthodontist today.

10:54 Later.

10:55 Adam I'll get into that later. Very painful, very painful. The tooth is leaving, by the way.

10:59 Oh.

10:59 Adam Does not stay.

11:00 Drew Bridge?

11:01 Adam Yes, a bridge.

11:02 Drew Oh my God.

11:03 Adam Which tooth?

11:04 Drew Aren't you too young for that?

11:05 Adam I've successfully now, yes. I'm well under 40 and I'm receiving a bridge in the next few weeks. So you know you've arrived.

11:12 Guest Is it one of the money making teeth?

11:13 Drew Yeah, it works.

11:13 Adam No, it's in the back. It's when I bring up the cut for the third time kind of thing. That's the only time I use those. So I told him, let's get rid of it. He was like the orthodontist was, he hung his head because- Orthodontist. Well, I mean the-

11:28 Drew The surgeon.

11:29 Adam The surgeon, orthodontist is like braces and stuff, right?

11:32 Drew Yeah.

11:33 Adam What's a guy does root canals?

11:36 Drew Peridontist.

11:37 Adam Peridontist, right. The peridontist, he hung his head in shame and he said, I failed, essentially, we're gonna have to take this tooth out. And I said, listen doc, to you, it's a failure. But to me, this tooth, picture a really, really horrible kid that's been living in your house, well into his 30s and I'm the stepdad. I want this puke out. I wish this son of a bitch got out five years ago. Do you hear me? No love loss here. There's been nothing but a pain in my ass for the last five years. Let's get him out of here.

12:10 Guest One less tooth to brush. You're saving money on toothpaste, if nothing.

12:15 Adam Right.

12:17 Drew You can't shower and shave. Just imagine your care of a bridge.

12:21 Adam The bridge does not pop in and pop out.

12:24 Drew They're going to put a cap on it.

12:25 Adam It's a permanent thing. That's what I told him. I told him the bridge has a real negative connotation. I pictured myself before performing Oral on a hooker. I say, hold on. Hey, you're cute. Are you Asian? Putting it like floating it in a beer on the nightstand. All right. So now it's permanent. It stays in there.

12:48 All right.

12:49 Adam Good. All right. Good times.

12:50 Good times.

12:53 Adam Jamie?

12:53 Hi.

12:54 Adam You're 25?

12:55 Caller Yeah.

12:55 Adam What's up?

12:56 Guest Well, okay.

12:58 We used KY the other night.

13:01 Guest You know, and I had some discomfort with it.

13:04 Drew Was this a new partner?

13:05 Guest No.

13:06 Drew Same, and you were?

13:08 Guest Like for a few months.

13:10 Drew And you guys were condoms also?

13:12 Guest No. No, we've both been tested.

13:15 Drew And you've never been exposed to KY before?

13:18 Guest Yeah, I have before with him.

13:20 Adam I see. Did you take it out of the tube?

13:24 Drew You have before?

13:24 Adam Because I made that mistake once.

13:26 Drew I gotta follow this history here.

13:27 Yeah, it wasn't the tube, it was the bottle.

13:29 Drew You have before with him, but with no other partner.

13:32 Okay, I mean like I've used KY before with him, but with other partners that I've had, I've never used it before.

13:39 Drew I understand, but we're talking about using KY with him, suddenly now burning.

13:44 Guest Yeah.

13:44 Drew Even though you've used it before with no problem.

13:47 Guest Yeah.

13:48 Drew Why did you bring up the other partner?

13:49 Guest We may, I don't know, we may.

13:51 Adam Their callers are retarded, Drew. You know what they do? They like to really drive home the obvious to confuse you to think, oh, she's making some point here. She's not saying anything.

14:02 Guest I'm slightly retarded.

14:04 Adam Okay. You're good looking though, right?

14:08 Guest Yeah. Okay, good.

14:09 Adam Otherwise, God really hates you. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair doing it.

14:13 Drew So Jamie, it could be an infection. It probably has nothing to do with the KY.

14:17 Guest Okay, but I just had a PAP and I was fine.

14:21 Drew That's right. Well, now you've got a vaginal infection.

14:24 Guest Like two days before that.

14:26 Drew I know, but now you've had something different happen. It's like going to the doctor two weeks before you get a cold. And they go, I was just the doctor. No, you just try something over the counter like gonolotrimin, that kind of thing, see if that works.

14:37 Yes, see, I tried that and I don't know if I'm really sensitive or what, but it seems like that hurts.

14:44 Adam Well, let me-

14:44 Drew Right, that's because you have a vaginitis.

14:45 Adam Let me float a point here. He, you use the KY, that then frees him up a little, he really bangs the bejesus out of you, and you get a yeast infection because of the vigorous sex.

15:00 Drew Or at least she gets irritated and that's what's burning.

15:03 Adam Right. Then you equate it to the KY, when indirectly it's because the KY freed him up to do his best work.

15:10 Guest No, I don't think that was it. It was very uncomfortable.

15:14 I'm like, what did you do?

15:16 Did you use the wrong bottle or something?

15:20 And I made him turn the light on and show me what he put on.

15:22 Guest He's like, no, it's the bottle of alcohol.

15:23 Adam Why don't you get a little dab of that KY and put some on you and see what it does?

15:28 Guest It could have been like a gag, like someone was playing a gag on him.

15:30 Adam Right.

15:31 Guest The old replacing the...

15:32 Adam Yeah, with the pen gay.

15:34 Guest Exactly.

15:35 Guest That would be great.

15:36 Drew Did you say that you tried some Guy in a Lotre Man?

15:39 Guest Yeah, I did.

15:40 I have.

15:40 Drew How many times did you apply it?

15:41 Well, you see, this was just on Sunday that it happened, and so I did it today.

15:47 Drew All right. We'll do it for a couple of days, okay?

15:49 Okay.

15:49 Adam All right. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like pen gay humor has fizzled out almost.

15:57 Guest We're bringing it back though.

15:58 Adam Yeah. It's gone the way of souffle humor. Yeah.

16:02 Drew Trailing behind quicksand.

16:03 Adam Yeah. All I'm saying is, I don't know what's up with pen gay, but they're going to have to remark it or do something because there's a lot of pen gay humor going around when I was like in junior high and high school, and I don't hear that much of it anymore.

16:16 Drew We have those little ponds in our backyard, and there's a bunch of dead leaves and stuff like that. If I lived in the 70s, I'd get some acid. Dump it. Dump it and burn it all out because acid destroys everything, right?

16:25 Adam Right. Yeah. You dump acid, it goes all the way through to the Earth.

16:28 Drew Center of the Earth, yeah. In the 70s, that's the way it went.

16:30 Guest Yeah.

16:31 Adam Drew and I sit around and try to think of things we don't see on TV anymore, and one of them is spilling the acid and having it burn through every back of the ship.

16:38 Guest Yeah, like those old cowboy drinks that make smoke when you spill it.

16:42 Drew Yeah. This was always a spy's-

16:44 Adam Oh, the guy stirring the drink with the spoon and then just pulling the nub of the spoon.

16:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

16:49 Guest That's the same joke.

16:49 Adam I'd like to see that again too. You guys work that into an upcoming episode.

16:53 Guest I'm on it right now.

16:54 Adam Yeah, you're writing. Troy?

16:56 Adam.

16:57 Adam Troy, you're 21. What's up?

16:59 Hey, champ. Hey, good times. Hey, it's Dr. Drew.

17:03 Adam You're passionate.

17:04 Drew I try.

17:04 Thanks for taking my call. I have two quick questions, but first, Undeclared, that's a great show.

17:10 Guest Thanks, man. That was awesome.

17:11 Guest Thank you so much.

17:12 The show with Will Ferrell on there as a guest actor, that was a great show.

17:18 Guest Thank you very much.

17:21 Whenever I have to use the restroom, number one, I get an erection most of the time.

17:29 Adam In the morning or just in general?

17:31 Just in general.

17:33 Drew There's a spinal reflex that when the bladder is stretched it can cause that. Usually you have to get pretty full bladder before it starts up, so why don't you start peeing more frequently?

17:42 I do. I tend to drink a lot of water, but so I guess that's just an effect of drinking extra water.

17:49 Guest I don't see that as a bad thing.

17:51 Adam Yeah. What could be bad, especially with the prying eyes in the men's room, where they don't have those divisions between the urinals. What's wrong with impressing the boys? They love stuff like that.

18:01 Guest It'll teach them something for looking at you.

18:03 I have to wear jeans all the time because I can't wear slacks.

18:07 Adam Okay. Hold on. I can't write fast enough. If you drink a lot of water, it makes you pee more or less, would you say? More slacks.

18:15 Can I ask a second question, please?

18:17 Adam Okay.

18:18 Sorry. I go to a four-year university. I don't go to a two-year junior college or anything. I'd really like to see Dr. Drew speak at my university one time, but whenever I listen to your show, it appears that Dr. Drew likes to go to the snub-nosed school such as Carleton College and Lord Fauntleroy School for Hemophiliacs.

18:42 Drew What city are you in?

18:44 Virginia.

18:45 Drew Yeah.

18:45 Where? George Mason University.

18:47 Drew I'm going to University of Richmond. I've been to UVA. I'm coming out there.

18:51 Adam We've been to West Virginia.

18:53 Drew You've been to the University of West Virginia. You just got to set it up.

18:56 Adam Listen, Drew would speak at the College for Hitler Youth if they paid him eight grand. He'll go wherever the money is. Pony up. He'll be there.

19:05 That's where I think the problem is that, like, I listen to the show and I hear the Dr. Drew boogie and the Dr. Drew shuffle. And so I know Dr. Drew has some soul with him. And I'm just wondering, Dr. Drew, do you like to rap?

19:20 Adam Yeah, he does.

19:21 Wrap your lips around these nuts.

19:25 That was the most interesting segue I've ever heard. I really love your show and when I pee, I get an erection.

19:30 Drew Wrap your lips around what?

19:31 Adam These nuts.

19:33 Drew Do you like to rap?

19:35 Adam It's actually a good time coming, now we're getting into the holidays, you can also use that for wrapping gifts, you know? Like, you probably work that in that way, too. Troy, I say this about once every tenth guy caller, Troy's one of those guys, he's the reason why women hate guys.

19:51 Drew Yeah.

19:52 Adam Do you know what I mean?

19:53 Drew And rightfully so.

19:55 Adam Right. Yeah, he's the reason why I can't argue with them when they say guys are dicks. Amy?

20:00 Yeah.

20:00 Adam You're 35? What's up?

20:03 Caller Well, my husband and I have been seeing a counselor and I really think that, I mean, like the whole reason for seeing a counselor is to, like, spend time together, talk out your problems and that kind of stuff. I'm thinking that 180 bucks a week might be better spent if we just, like, went to dinner. Or how about, like, I'd be in a much better mood if I, like, bought a pair of pants with the money instead of going to see a doctor.

20:30 Adam Is that 100? Buying pants. By the way, man, it means you're very shallow when buying pants would do more for your psyche than seeing a therapist.

20:40 Caller I get two kids and the money's kind of tight. And so, like, I think, I'm thinking, like, he's just another reason to argue.

20:47 Adam Okay.

20:47 Caller When the money's going to him instead of going to-

20:49 Adam Well, hold on a second.

20:50 Drew This is what this is, Amy. This is you not wanting to do the work. This is you resisting whatever's going on in the sessions. And I don't know what it is that's causing you to deflect everything on to everyone else, but you've got to get in there and start looking at what role you play in whatever the conflict is you're having with your husband. And the role of the therapist is to create a safe instruction environment, keep that dialogue focused. You are not willing to work. If you're not willing to work, don't go. You are wasting your money then, but you're looking for every reason to get out of there.

21:19 Adam You're saying eating and buying pants is not work, Drew? Hey, Amy, you say 180 bucks.

21:26 Drew That's a lot for therapists.

21:28 Adam Is that two sessions or one?

21:30 Caller That's for two people for an hour.

21:32 Drew Really?

21:33 Adam Well, they charge by the head. That's expensive. Yeah, you find a cheaper one.

21:39 Caller Oh, I guess so. I just thought that if we went to dinner and-

21:45 Drew Amy, Amy, no, Amy, what you're interested in doing is maintaining the status quo. You don't want this equilibrium disturbed. You must have had a dad that fought with your mom all the time and that's the state you want your marriage to be in. It's just going outside of the boundaries of what your comfort zone is because there's dysfunction here.

22:01 Adam Drew, maybe your parents fought a lot and that's why you're projecting that on Amy's parents.

22:06 Caller Well, let me say that certainly that was the case and I'm the one that brought up going to therapy.

22:12 Drew I understand, but Amy-

22:14 Adam Hold on, let me yell at Amy for a second.

22:15 Drew Wait, just a second. Just let me finish. But Amy, you never assumed that you'd have to look at yourself. That wasn't part of the bargain. The fact is, you do, and it's going to be painful, and you're part of the problem here. And you can't just restore a homeostasis that's sick. You have to try to get well.

22:30 Adam Wait a minute, this guy's bi?

22:33 Drew Now you can yell at her.

22:33 Adam Okay. Hey, Amy. It's interesting because we never hear women complaining that they don't want to go into the couples there. I see it all the time. Shut Drew's mic off. He's crapping on one of my toys.

22:49 Drew On this show, you don't see it so much, but I see it all the time in the clinical room.

22:51 Adam It's usually women dragging their men to the therapist and the guy not wanting to go.

22:55 Caller Well, initially, initially...

22:56 Adam Well, just quiet down. So you got him going. Now how long have you been going to the therapist with him?

23:01 Caller Two times.

23:02 Adam Two times? When she said, well, initially, I thought she was going to say it was the 80s, everyone was doing it. This was last Tuesday.

23:10 Guest You're not fixing it?

23:12 Adam Okay. Two times. So he was acting. What was he doing that you wanted to take him to the therapist for?

23:18 Caller Okay. Well, I didn't want to waste your time, but certainly, like we do argue a lot. Sure, I give you that. And certainly I try to like bite my tongue and certainly not everybody can be right all the time.

23:30 Adam So just because you argued a lot?

23:33 Caller No, but because he, well, this is the, I don't know how to say the blunt, I guess I should say, he went to a class reunion and kind of like made out with someone at a class reunion.

23:47 Adam I see. All right. I got the unfinished business. We all got that.

23:51 Caller And so I was like really pissed and he said, it's nothing, no big deal. Wasn't anything really regretful, blah, blah, blah.

23:57 Adam How'd you find out about it?

23:59 Caller Well, the stupid woman e-mailed him on my e-mail address.

24:04 Adam She's no genius.

24:06 Caller I'm saying.

24:07 Adam Okay. So, but listen, so you're very angry about that episode.

24:11 Caller Yeah, well.

24:11 Adam All right. So here's the deal. So you drag him to the shrink now because you want to make your relationship better just because you want to punish him in front of a guy who has suede patches on his blazer.

24:21 Drew And he's not going to give her that benefit.

24:24 Adam Right. So now this sucks. Let's punish him at dinner. Right. So Amy, you got a lot of anger in you. That's never a good thing for a relationship. I think you ought to continue with this. Just give it a couple of months and don't keep dragging your feet.

24:37 Drew His cheating is assigned to something very long in the relationship and that needs to be dealt with. Forget about it.

24:41 Adam Well, not necessarily.

24:43 Yeah.

24:43 Adam You could go to a reunion and make out, but then she emails you.

24:47 Drew They're 35. They're married with two kids. That is bad news, bad times.

24:52 What the?

24:52 Adam I would have that chick killed if she emailed me after I made out with her in a reunion. It was great making out with her.

24:59 Guest You don't have to write an email about making out.

25:01 Adam I gotta ask, what the hell is that saying? Thanks for the hickey with about 18 years overdue. Wait a minute, Amy, what did that email say?

25:10 Caller Well, it was basically like, it was so nice to see you again, and I hope you don't think less of me for what happened. And so I emailed her back and I was like, how dumb are you?

25:23 Drew Well, by the way, that's not making out.

25:26 Adam Yeah.

25:26 Drew When somebody says something like that.

25:28 Caller Well, that's why at first I was like, whatever, but-

25:31 Adam Oh, you confronted your husband?

25:33 Caller Well, no, because I thought, well, what could it be? And then I'm thinking, wait, what woman rights a man to say this? Like she's obviously fishing.

25:41 Adam Okay.

25:42 Guest Did he ever admit it?

25:44 Caller Pardon me?

25:44 Guest Did he ever admit it?

25:45 Caller Oh, yeah.

25:46 Adam What did he say? What did he admit?

25:48 Caller Well, he said, you know, it's nothing. It was no big deal. It was something I regret. He didn't want to fess up. And I was like, just spill.

25:58 Adam Yeah.

25:59 Drew And then we made out. Did you go insane?

26:02 Caller Oh, yeah.

26:03 Drew So he stopped right there.

26:05 Adam That's right.

26:05 Drew That's where he stopped.

26:06 Caller I was like, so what he said.

26:09 Adam They just they just. Wait a minute. They just kissed or what?

26:12 Caller Yeah, that's what that's what he said. They were really drunk in a bar in front of everyone. And they were just kissing.

26:17 Adam Oh, interesting angle. The made a ass of ourselves in front of a group so that I could not get a BJ. Interesting. I'm going to try to use that one. A bunch of people there humiliated.

26:28 Caller You know, the thing was though, like if a girl did that to a guy, they would not have it. You know, it would show me my way, the highway. I'd be out of there.

26:36 Adam Okay, listen.

26:37 Drew A girl will never be telling a guy about this.

26:38 Adam That's an angry. You guys live eight years longer. So that's this. I mean, come on. You got to take some bad. Look, Amy, you're the world's angriest mother. And you're going to. Yes. Yes. And you're going to freak your kids out. They're going to grow up around this really angry mom. So stay with the shrink and forget about the pants.

26:59 Drew And making out. Adam, translate.

27:01 Adam Yeah. Making out is what they did after he.

27:06 Guest What'd she make out with?

27:07 Adam Right.

27:08 Guest Is the question.

27:09 Adam He partied on his crank is what grew. Drew just slipped me a note that said that. The cast of Undeclared is here tonight. Oh, yeah. We made out. All right. Well, let's not give her any more. It could have happened if it was in the bar. Whatever. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be right back.

27:32 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

28:02 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tori Amos, our good and spacey friend. Tori Amos will be coming up. Haven't seen her in a little while.

28:16 Drew Couple of years, right?

28:17 Adam Yeah. But always an interesting show. So she'll be in here on Tuesday or Wednesday or whenever the hell that is. Jay Baruchel is here, Seth Rogen, and Carla Gallo. All the cast from or at least a good good portion of the cast from Undeclared, which is Fox's new runaway hit, smash success hit.

28:38 Guest Catch it while you can.

28:39 Adam Tomorrow night, 830 on Fox Tuesday night and Adam Sandler. Sandler. A little brain freeze there. Almost spit out my last name. And Adam Sandler is going to guest star tomorrow night. You know, that's what we need to get this country out of its funk is some good novelty song, you know?

29:03 Drew Oh, yeah. I think novelty song.

29:05 Adam Like a good Ben Lahn. Yeah. Like I remember Weird Al. Weird Al had Ayatollah instead of my Sharona.

29:12 Guest Yeah.

29:13 Adam But Ayatollah, you know, I met Weird Al. Oh, yeah.

29:18 Guest It was a crowning moment in my life. Yeah. He introduced himself as just Al, which I thought was interesting.

29:26 Guest Yeah.

29:26 Guest In his normal persona.

29:28 Adam Right.

29:29 Guest Just regular Al.

29:30 Guest Yeah.

29:31 Adam It's weird. I played basketball with Ice Cube on Sunday. Oh, yeah. It's weird when-

29:39 Guest Did you win?

29:40 Adam No, we got the cramp kicked out of us by a bunch of white guys, by the way. It's always humiliating. We got the brothers on the team and I sucked it up pretty good. But it's weird when you got a guy with the name like Ice Cube because he's got the ball and you're like, Hey, Ice, Mr. Cube. So you just lay back and wait to see what other people call him, and then you just call him that too. Except for these guys have known him for 10 years and they're in his posse and stuff, so you feel stupid calling him Ice when you just met him, but you don't know what to call him.

30:13 Guest I'm interested how you got in with Ice Cube's posse.

30:16 Adam Well, I got involved with some basketball league and we're on the same team.

30:21 Guest Oh, yeah? That's cool.

30:23 Adam Yeah.

30:23 Guest That's a surprising thing.

30:24 Adam Yeah, it's cool. I don't know what to call him.

30:26 So what did you call him?

30:28 Adam I just, it was just, Yo. Yo. Yeah, there's a response to that. Yes, that's black for dude. So if it's a white dude, it's dude.

30:37 Guest Then what's dude in black?

30:39 Adam Dude in black is yo.

30:40 Guest Oh, and yo. Oh, and they just don't say dude.

30:41 Guest Call him trespass.

30:43 Adam Yeah, like if you got a white guy, it's like 20 feet away and he's got a ball and you want it, it's dude. But if it's a black guy, it's yo.

30:51 Guest He appreciates that.

30:52 It's a distinction.

30:54 Adam Yeah. And if it's a mulatto guy, it's yo dude.

30:58 Guest Or dude yo depending on which parent is there.

31:00 Adam Right. The mother, the mother's black.

31:03 Guest It's dude yo.

31:03 Adam Dude yo, right.

31:08 Guest Dude.

31:09 Adam You entertain again, huh?

31:11 Drew Yeah, I really am.

31:12 Adam Anthony.

31:13 Drew Hugely.

31:14 Adam Anthony.

31:15 Yeah.

31:16 Adam You're 15.

31:17 Caller Yeah. I was just wondering if I masturbate a lot and I was just kind of wondering if that's normal.

31:25 Guest I hope so.

31:26 Adam How many times a day?

31:28 Caller Usually probably average like seven to ten.

31:32 Drew Do you go to school?

31:33 Adam It's a little late.

31:34 Guest That's good.

31:35 Caller Yeah.

31:36 Drew Are you able to function at school?

31:37 Yeah.

31:40 Adam Well, why wouldn't he? I mean, he was just speeding off. He's trying to get to class with his pants around his ankles and he gets tripped up and falls down.

31:48 Drew How does he ever go to public?

31:49 Adam Well, you can. Let's work your schedule out.

31:52 Guest Before school?

31:53 Adam Two before, right?

31:55 Caller Usually once.

31:56 Adam Oh, once before.

31:58 Guest You sleep in more than one.

31:58 Drew He's behind you, Adam, I see.

32:00 Adam In the shower or?

32:02 Caller No, I'm not a shower guy.

32:03 Adam Not a shower guy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So one before and then the rest is after school or do you have lunch or?

32:12 Caller Usually after school.

32:14 Guest Do you go at school ever? I was always afraid to do that.

32:17 Guest I did that.

32:18 Adam Did you?

32:18 Guest More than once.

32:19 Guest Really?

32:21 Drew I wonder if this guy's got to a school all the time.

32:23 Adam Hold on a second. Jay, what kind of school did you go to?

32:25 Guest It was a fine art school.

32:27 Guest Oh, I see.

32:27 Adam I encouraged it.

32:28 Guest He did it on a piece of paper and it was art.

32:32 Adam Bunch of hippies sitting around on bean bag chairs calling the teachers by their first name. Walking in, Jay's beating off. Don't stop him. You'll discourage him. You can't discourage. You can't discourage creativity.

32:43 Caller I thought you went to Catholic school.

32:45 Guest Elementary school.

32:47 Guest Yeah, you had a lot to make up for.

32:48 Guest Sorry, I shouldn't have.

32:50 Adam Did you have a bathroom with a lock on it?

32:52 Guest I was just going to the stall and I was really cautious.

32:54 And I just looked over my shoulder a lot.

32:57 Guest I locked it. If I ever heard anyone come in, I would just pretend like I was wiping.

33:05 Adam Wow.

33:07 Drew Did you beat off?

33:07 Adam That's great. See, that's why. Drew, how many times have I said you have to learn to beat off standing up so that you can get them in on airplanes, at schools, synagogues, churches?

33:20 Drew How many times have you said that?

33:24 Adam Thank you. Anthony? Yeah. All right. So I'm sorry. So one before school. Yeah. And then the other six to eight after school? OK.

33:34 Guest You get a couple in right before bed, right?

33:36 Adam Yeah. Usually two or three. He knows a lot about this.

33:38 Guest That's the prime real estate right there.

33:40 Drew And here's the question. Aside from are you able to function, were you sexually abused in some way?

33:47 Caller Uh-uh. OK.

33:48 Drew Were you physically abused?

33:49 Caller No. All right.

33:50 Adam So now he's sexually physically abusing himself.

33:52 Drew Is there addiction in your family anywhere? Alcoholism?

33:56 Caller Not really. Some people in my family drink a little, but they're not alcoholics.

34:01 Adam All right. That's fine.

34:03 Where's my bourbon?

34:04 Adam You're fine.

34:05 Drew It's suspicious.

34:06 Adam You're just, it's only 240 times a month. Let's not label it.

34:13 Drew Suspicious.

34:13 Adam You see what I'm saying? All right, Anthony. You sound depressed. Are you depressed? Not really. OK.

34:19 Guest You have brothers.

34:21 Adam Good times.

34:21 I'm a little nervous about calling the show.

34:25 Adam What?

34:26 Caller I said I was a little nervous about calling the show.

34:27 Adam OK. But here's what I worry about when you do it that many times is you lose your edge. You have no reason to go out and compete in the world.

34:36 Drew No chi.

34:37 Adam No chi. It takes a little. You have to burn a few calories to get a woman. And just like I was explaining last night when I was on the Internet, I said I was going to order that DVD porn and then I beat off and then I didn't order it. Wow. That's a good strategy. No, no. It's a bad strategy because now I want it. Oh, now you want it again. But I wouldn't do it. I lost my motivation. I lost my edge. That's my edge over the competition.

35:01 Guest A penny shaved is a penny earned. You earned a penny.

35:05 Drew For $49 bucks.

35:08 Adam I was thinking about this the other day. How many billions of dollars could be saved a year if guys would just beat off immediately? And here's what I'm saying. Well, think about what it does. It gets you to the strip club. It sits you in the strip club for five hours. You drop a bunch of money. Then you go buy a bunch of drinks. Or like you go out and you rent this or you get on the computer. You sit on the computer, you get on the phone sex chat line at 10 bucks every five minutes. If the second, like if everyone just said, instead of going to the club, instead of going to the massage parlor, instead of getting on the internet, I'm just going to beat off right now. There'll be billions of dollars saved nationally every year.

35:51 Drew Maybe you could have like a telethon.

35:54 Adam To raise money.

35:55 Guest Take the money you would spend on porn.

35:56 Drew Just to get people, you'd encourage them to testimonials. I did it now and I feel great.

36:01 Adam I'm freed up. Infomercials about beat for life or what would it be? Hi, I'm Ed McMahon. Where's the money coming in though?

36:18 Drew The money is people going back to work and being productive as opposed to spending all that time on the computer and porn shots.

36:23 Adam Let's check the chode board. Hi, I'm Adam Corolla. You know, I kid a lot on the radio and on television, but cornholing. No laughing man. That's how I could start the show. Shara?

36:40 Guest Sarah.

36:41 Adam Shara?

36:42 Guest Sarah, yeah.

36:43 Adam Wait, say it one more time.

36:44 Guest Sarah. Sarah.

36:45 Adam Oh, Sarah. Straight up Sarah. Oh, they misspelled it. You're 16. What's up?

36:50 Caller Um, on Friday afternoon, I found out that I had vaginal E coli, and I don't know how I got it.

36:59 Adam Hold on, I'm going to vomit. Vaginal E coli?

37:06 Caller Yeah, I don't think there's any possible way.

37:09 Guest E coli?

37:10 Drew E coli comes from?

37:11 Adam Wiped with a turkey leg?

37:12 Drew No, it comes from your rectum, and that's right next door there. And so, people, women get that bacteria in there sometimes.

37:19 Guest They're neighbors.

37:20 Drew Yeah, and so, just an antibiotic or an antibiotic cream takes care of it, usually.

37:23 Adam You can't wipe toward Mecca.

37:25 Drew Right, that's the point. You gotta go the other way. That's right.

37:30 Caller They gave me this MetroGel stuff.

37:32 Drew That's good. MetroGel sometimes will work. Sometimes you have to take some antibiotics by mouth, too, for this.

37:37 Caller Okay.

37:37 Drew But that's fine. They're doing the right stuff.

37:39 Adam So what can one do to avoid this tragedy?

37:42 Drew Wipe away from Mecca.

37:43 Adam Wipe away. You know what I'm saying, Sarah?

37:46 Caller Yeah, I do. I don't know how I got it.

37:48 Guest Sometimes.

37:50 Drew Are you sexually active?

37:51 Caller No.

37:52 Drew No. Okay. It just happens sometimes. Not a big deal. It's really not a big deal.

37:55 Adam Really? It sounds horrible. Faginal E coli.

37:59 Guest Yeah, it does not sound.

38:01 Drew Why are you guys associating E coli with foul?

38:04 Adam I don't know, Anderson.

38:05 Guest I think E coli, I think food.

38:07 Adam I think chicken has been sitting out.

38:08 Drew E coli in beef. Yeah, that's a strain. But E coli lives in your colon. Lots of E coli.

38:14 Guest So can you get testicular E coli?

38:16 Drew You can get E coli in lots of places.

38:19 Adam Well, you got to.

38:21 Drew I'm looking forward to it.

38:22 Adam You guys want to smoke some pie?

38:24 Drew Yeah.

38:25 Adam We talked to Drew about where our E coli is and how it's living in us right now.

38:32 Adam But you need an opening, don't you, to get it in there?

38:35 Drew No, it can cause awful infections in all kinds of places, but it's a typical bacteria for urinary tract infections, nasal infections.

38:43 Adam All right.

38:44 That's a good time.

38:45 Adam Undeclared is the cast we have in tonight, Tuesday nights, 8.30 on Fox. Adam Sandler starring or guest starring tomorrow night. We will take ourselves a little break and we'll be right back.

38:59 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

39:32 Guest Yeah, everybody on the floor, this is Ice-T.

39:34 Adam You're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

39:37 Caller Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

39:39 Caller Ice-Tube, though, right?

39:41 Adam Yeah, but Ice-T would present that problem, too. Oh, hey, Ice, hey, T, you're sister T.

39:46 Drew Ice-T always said, call him Ice. What if you're playing with both of them?

39:50 Adam Yeah, he's playing with Ice-T and Cube. Hey, Ice, no, not that Ice. You, Cube, Cube, keep driving.

39:59 Caller Vanilla Ice.

40:00 Adam Oh, yeah, but he wouldn't be able to play in this league. Who's playing with him?

40:04 Guest He's playing with himself.

40:06 Adam You have to be at least on basic cable to make it into this league. Jay Bershell, Seth Rogen and Carla Gallo are all here tonight from Undeclared. Big smash hit on Fox, Tuesday Nights, 8.30. Adam Sandler on tomorrow night. So, went to the dentist today to get the oral surgery and immediately requested the nitrous.

40:31 Drew Oh, did you get it?

40:33 Adam Well, no.

40:34 Guest Oh, I wish your ads on the radio for some place, it will dope you up for nothing. It's like they advertise it, it will dope you up for nothing.

40:41 Adam Well, I said, they get these arguments with you there. You go, hey, could I have some nitrous? And they go, you don't need nitrous. And I go, yeah, but I like nitrous. And they go, yep, you know, we and then they try to do this to you, which I think is really dirty pool. We have kids, we have mothers in here, they don't take nitrous. I'm like, look, what is this? Some kind of god damn past that? Look, I want nitrous. I said to the guy, I said, look, I've crawled under houses and dug footings with a coffee can, and I've had the crap beat out of me in a boxing ring many times. The question is not what I can take.

41:15 Guest It's what you want.

41:16 Adam If we were in a prison camp and we had no Novacaine and no anesthetic, and you had to do it with some pliers, I could take it.

41:21 Guest But they got it.

41:22 Adam But you know what? I got a wallet.

41:24 Guest Yeah.

41:24 Adam We're in America.

41:25 Guest You got a can of nitrous?

41:26 Adam You got nitrous? Why test me?

41:29 Guest Make it happen.

41:31 Adam Even if I like it 1% better with the nitrous, isn't it worth it? Why do I got to get the pussy dance? Because I want the nitrous. Drew, what is this? You can do it. You can do it. Of course I can do it. Give me the nitrous, brother.

41:47 Drew Anesthesia is dangerous.

41:49 Adam Oh, yeah.

41:50 Drew It is. First off, you freaked out last time, by the way. You already had one negative experience.

41:54 Adam I had a bad trip.

41:55 Guest You freaked out on nitrous?

41:57 Adam I started hearing that going, here's what the problem. Quite frankly, here was the problem.

42:02 Drew Here's what it sounds like.

42:03 Adam No.

42:03 Drew Adam, Adam, Adam, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

42:06 Adam Yeah. Here's what happened. I had a bad trip. I had a surreal trip. I went in and the guy had a thing of CDs because he said, here's some headphones and a CD. This will relax you. I said, fine. I started looking around. I had all this crap. I said, I need something to relax me. I need some classical or some jazz or something. There was Manhattan Transfer. I said, okay, this is a nice jazz group. I'll put this in. I'm not a big Manhattan Transfer fan, but I know what they do and I'll put in some jazz and I'll relax. I'm lying there and it's like the middle of July and the air conditioning is on the fritz, and it's really hot and I'm sweating my ass off and I'm listening to Manhattan Transfer except for it's the Manhattan Transfer Christmas album.

42:51 Caller Oh.

42:52 Adam And now I got the nitrous pumping through me and I'm hearing like chestnuts roasting on an open fire and it's hotter than hell in the place since the middle of July and this guy's digging away at my root canal and I had a bad trip. That's all.

43:08 Caller I freaked out.

43:09 Adam I was echoing and stuff. I didn't jump up and rip stuff out of the jersey pants or anything. You tried to. How dare you?

43:16 You pansy.

43:17 Adam It was just weird. So this time, he didn't have the nitrous and he didn't have any either. By the way, how do you not have nitrous when you do that for a living? Can't just keep a tank in the closet?

43:26 Guest I'd have it.

43:27 Absolutely.

43:30 Adam I told him I wanted it pumped right into the waiting room. I can loosen me up before I head in. Wouldn't it be nice just to work just a little of that in there just to lighten the mood?

43:41 Guest I've never had it. Is laughing gas?

43:43 Adam Yeah.

43:44 Guest Never had it.

43:45 Adam Never had it either. What it does is if they give you too much, you'll go out. But if they give you the right amount-

43:51 Guest Just below that.

43:52 Adam You'll hover just around that sort of twilight of not in but not out. Have you ever been put under?

43:59 Guest I live there. I live in that country.

44:01 Adam Never had any surgery?

44:02 Guest Yeah. I got my wisdom to do that once.

44:04 Adam When they put you out, nitrous is like when you're coming back and you hear people talking, but you go, I'm not going to respond yet. I'm not ready.

44:13 Guest That was weird.

44:13 Adam Jessica, it's good times.

44:16 Guest Hi.

44:16 Adam You're 24.

44:16 Guest Let me turn off my radio really fast.

44:18 Adam All right. Hurry. Yeah.

44:20 Caller Okay. Hello?

44:21 Adam What's up? I'm not ready. Go.

44:23 Guest Okay.

44:24 Caller I'm on my period and my boyfriend won't have sex with me. He says that I can get pregnant now more so than I can afterwards.

44:33 Drew No.

44:33 Caller But I say no.

44:34 Drew That's not true.

44:35 Caller It's seven to 14 days.

44:36 Drew That's correct.

44:37 Adam Yeah. He just doesn't want to deal with you.

44:40 It's more like a good mess.

44:41 Caller Okay. So like right now, I could not get pregnant just because I'm on my period.

44:47 Drew No. You can't, but you're less likely to.

44:49 Caller Less likely to than seven to 14 days after, correct?

44:53 Drew Right.

44:53 Caller Okay.

44:54 Drew Roughly. It's more like around 16, 18 days.

44:56 Caller Isn't the body flushing everything out?

44:58 Drew Yeah. But you can still be ovulating.

45:00 Caller Really?

45:00 Drew Yeah. It could be sitting in the tube.

45:02 Caller But could it attach?

45:04 Drew It sits up there for three days. It can come down over the course of three days, and then the sloughing could have stopped, and it can attach.

45:12 Adam All right. But listen, you're probably not going to get pregnant. He knows this. He's just working an angle.

45:19 Caller Yeah.

45:20 Adam Do you want him to have sex with you while you're on your period?

45:23 Caller Yes. I want to get laid tonight.

45:26 Drew Someone are more into it during their period.

45:28 Adam Oh, yeah.

45:30 Caller Yeah, exactly. He's like, I just don't want it, and I'm like, okay. Well, and then he pulled out that crap about that, and I know that's not true.

45:37 Adam Okay, but you're really busting the guy's chops. I mean, you can understand this, right?

45:42 Caller I've been busting shots for like three days now.

45:45 Adam Right. Can't you get yourself a vibrator or something?

45:49 Caller Well, yeah, that was last night, but I want to get laid tonight.

45:51 Drew Adam, you're always telling the women to hold still.

45:53 Adam Stinking whore.

45:53 Drew Hold still and just take it.

45:57 Adam No, but this, thank you, Drew. But wait a minute. This crosses the line for the guy. This goes against his sensibilities.

46:06 Drew It's how it crosses the line for women too though. That's something that they don't feel comfortable with, but you just tell them this.

46:12 Adam Hold on. That's different.

46:13 Drew It's very different for you. Your perception is for women, it may not be different.

46:16 Adam This involves a third party, namely blood. Do you understand?

46:22 Guest Morris T.

46:23 Drew Blood.

46:23 Adam Idiot. Morris T. Blood. Jessica? Yeah. Is your- Listen, here's what I want to ask you. Do you feel like you need to make a point with this guy? No. I mean, does he need to prove it just a little bit?

46:43 Caller No, I just want to have sex.

46:45 Adam That's it. His morals. You're just horny and you want to have sex.

46:47 Caller Exactly.

46:48 Adam And you would really truly be angry or upset with him, or you wouldn't understand it if he didn't want to do this during this time of the month?

46:55 Caller Yes, I would.

46:57 Adam You really would?

46:58 Caller Yeah.

46:58 Adam What about Anel? Does he get that?

47:00 Caller Oh, of course. That's, you know, that's not the point.

47:06 Adam You're like a store that never closes.

47:08 Caller Exactly.

47:09 Adam Wide open for business.

47:10 Guest With a front and back door.

47:12 Adam Christmas, holidays, whatever. The door is always open.

47:15 Drew He's out there yelling.

47:16 Adam Let me talk to him.

47:17 Caller You want to talk to him?

47:19 Adam Can I talk to him?

47:20 Caller That's cool because he wants to talk to you anyway.

47:22 Adam Okay.

47:23 Caller Hold on one second.

47:23 Adam What's his name?

47:24 Caller His name is Eric.

47:25 Guest He doesn't want to sleep with her, period.

47:27 Caller Yeah, but he doesn't mind having anal sex, but he minds there being some blood.

47:31 Drew Yeah, this is kind of interesting.

47:32 Caller Yeah. Hold on one second.

47:33 Caller That pisses me off.

47:35 Adam See?

47:35 Drew See?

47:36 Adam But we know he's a horny guy. This just bothers him.

47:39 Caller If you had something funny coming out of your penis and you still want to have sex.

47:42 Drew That's right.

47:43 Caller And you'd be a friend.

47:43 Guest I would never come out of my penis.

47:45 Caller That's the whole point. I never shoot blood out of my penis.

47:47 Caller But if you did, wouldn't you want still her to have sex with you?

47:51 Guest I can understand why she wouldn't.

47:52 Adam But you would understand if she didn't give you a BJ that night with a stream of blood coming out of your penis.

47:58 Drew She's not asking for that though.

47:59 Caller What if you're bleeding, like you have a cut, and you're like, oh my God, help me. And she's like, ew, your blood.

48:03 Adam That's how I see it.

48:03 Caller I get offended.

48:04 Caller Actually, I can pull this out for you.

48:05 Drew Wow, Carl's into this.

48:06 Caller Because I do have something that's kind of related to that. What? Okay, I have a piercing and ampling, which is at the head of the penis, as I'm sure Drew knows. Oh dear God.

48:13 Drew You're gay.

48:13 Caller And every once in a while, when we're really going at it, and you know how sometimes you kind of pop out and then get going back in before you see where it goes.

48:19 Adam Hold on, let me get the trashcan. Let me get it again, go ahead.

48:24 Drew So you rip it out?

48:25 Caller Well, every once in a while, no, no, I'll just notice like a trace of blood in my semen. Now is that from the piercing kind of moving around in the inside or?

48:30 Drew No.

48:31 Adam So it looks like Thousand Island?

48:32 Caller Just somewhat.

48:33 Adam Yeah, all right, here I go.

48:36 Caller It's like a piece of yogurt kind of.

48:37 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake. Listen, you got some kind of, I pictured just an apartment filled with hepatitis and fecal matter. That's what I, there's no kids around there, are there?

48:51 Caller No, we're anti-breeding.

48:52 Adam Okay. Well, listen, good.

48:55 Caller Long time, Jack, or first time getting through.

48:56 Adam Okay. All right. Here's what I want to say.

49:01 Drew It's not the amp-lang. It's probably, it's somehow to be checked out. It's probably not.

49:06 Adam Here's the deal. You've got a chick who's built for speed, and that means once in a while, you get burned. You know what I mean? You got to put out during these periods. You get the butt love, you get the piercings, you get the crazy sex, you might get a little threesome coming up and a little bi thing, you might get to film something. But now it's time to pay the fiddler.

49:25 Guest I feel like if I was willing to stick a metal rod through it, I'd be willing to stick it anywhere.

49:29 Adam Yeah, that's a good, very good point. So I'm coming around, and I'm saying that he should now have sex with her in her period. All right, but she'd probably be offended by that. We'll take a break. Here it is, Bottom Line, it sucks being single today.

49:43 Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

49:45 Adam Call the Dateline.

49:46 Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.

49:48 1-877-889-DATE. Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready, ready, ready, ready.

50:34 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. I like that song. What band is that? Oh, that's Pennywise, huh? I like that song. Uh, it's Loveline. Fletcher puked on Drew. That's why he's playing that. Undeclared is the show we're talking about. Tuesday nights, 8.30 on Fox. Adam Sandler on tomorrow night's episode. J.Seth and Carla are all here from the show. Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tori Amos coming in here on Wednesday, Tuesday. Uh, Aisha Tyler. Who is that?

51:15 Drew E.

51:16 Adam Oh, from E?

51:17 Drew Talksuit.

51:18 Adam Oh, Talksuit.

51:18 Guest Oh.

51:19 Adam Yeah, I know her.

51:20 Guest Lovely woman.

51:21 Adam Yeah, she's kind of boxy.

51:22 Guest Yeah, I mean.

51:23 Adam Nice rack, good looking.

51:24 Caller Goofy.

51:25 Adam Goofy? Yeah, it's always weird when a chick.

51:27 Caller Oh, I like that moment. Well, I like pretty goofy girls. I think that's great.

51:31 Adam Yeah, it's nice when you're going to be pretty and goofy.

51:33 Guest Yeah, or just pretty goofy.

51:35 Adam You know, though, here's the sad reality. For guys, doesn't help them at all. I mean, doesn't help their stock at all.

51:41 Guest Goofy?

51:41 Adam Could hurt them a little bit.

51:42 Guest I know, ask Jay. Cheers to that.

51:45 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, for a guy can work it. Now, here's what I'm saying. If we're talking about our attraction to a woman, if she's really hot, that's enough. If she's hot and has a great sense of humor, she's still just hot.

52:00 Guest Yeah, that's true.

52:01 Adam And now we got to deal with the sense of humor.

52:02 Guest Yeah, it means she's smart is the problem.

52:04 Oh crap.

52:05 Adam Funnier than I am. That's the only thing I had on. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't. You could take like a guy who wasn't very attractive, but he had a great sense of humor, and all of a sudden he was an 8 or a 9. A chick who looked like an 8 or a 9 and a great sense of humor, still an 8 or a 9.

52:23 Guest Maybe even down.

52:24 Adam It could go down to a 7.

52:25 Guest It could go down.

52:26 Adam Right. I know you're cracking any penis jokes when I'm trying to get a BJ. Yeah, that's right.

52:33 Caller Yeah, top of the man.

52:34 Guest What's up?

52:37 David?

52:38 Hey guys, love the show.

52:40 Adam What's happening? You're 32.

52:41 Caller Got a question for you.

52:42 Caller I've got a fetish. I'd like to try to hook up with a woman who's lactating. I was wondering if there's any risk of HIV transmission or any other type of STD from that.

52:55 Drew My understanding is that HIV is not in breast milk, but that certainly is not completely risk-free, I don't believe. I don't believe hepatitis C can be transmitted that way. B could be. That's about it. What else?

53:09 Adam Now, do they, do you have to, can you get like a wet nurse? Or where do you find these lactating women? I mean, do they have to be pregnant or a year or so after preying this? How does this work? There's a window, I mean, is what I'm saying.

53:24 Caller Is it also possible to induce lactation in someone who does not have a baby? How?

53:28 Drew Yeah, some women, actually just irritating the nipples can do that sometimes.

53:31 Adam You work them enough. You got like some vice grip.

53:34 Guest You gotta milk them.

53:37 Adam But it's tough. It's not like milking a cow. It's like milking a dog or something.

53:43 Guest Milking a lady.

53:44 Adam You gotta work on it. Hey, David. Yes. Did your mom breastfeed you?

53:51 Caller No, I wasn't.

53:52 Adam Interesting. Now, you think maybe this is it? You feel like you're making up?

53:56 Caller Possibly, probably going back to my roots.

53:58 Drew Bad childhood. What is this?

54:00 Adam And what about women with larger breasts? Do they seem to do this more readily?

54:05 Drew Lactate more readily?

54:06 Adam Yeah. No?

54:07 Drew I don't know that.

54:08 Adam Hey, David. Yes. You know, they got those magazines and movies and stuff, right? Oh, yeah.

54:14 Caller Do you look at those?

54:16 Adam Do you get those?

54:17 Caller I have seen them. They're pretty hot.

54:18 Adam Yeah. So, I mean, that's your thing, right?

54:20 Caller Yeah.

54:20 Adam Okay. And so, Drew, tell me about it. So, the chances of him finding just a regular chick who's not pregnant or who didn't just give birth recently.

54:30 Drew Finish breastfeeding.

54:32 Adam To try to get to lactate for him is going to be slim to none, right?

54:36 Drew I mean, there are women on medication that will lactate. Certain medication, particularly antipsychotic medication will cause lactation. Perfect.

54:42 Guest So, they're not psychotic, which is perfect.

54:44 Drew That's well in the middle. Thyroid can make people lactate, thyroid problems.

54:48 Adam But David, this is going to be a tough road to hoe for you, you know?

54:54 Drew So to speak.

54:55 Adam Yeah. It would be easier. Can't just get into feet or something. A hoe to row. You know, it's going to be a long life for you. I mean, a long and uncomfortable life.

55:05 Drew He can keep his wife pregnant all the time.

55:06 Guest Do you ever just put milk on them?

55:08 Caller Well, it's more something I just want to try. It's not like the only thing I'm into.

55:12 Drew What are the other things you're into?

55:13 Caller Well, just the normal, straight type of activities, but just something I've always wanted to try.

55:17 Caller So you've never done it?

55:18 Drew No.

55:19 Adam Oh.

55:20 Drew Always wanted to try.

55:22 Adam Are you in a relationship?

55:23 Guest Yes.

55:24 Adam Get her pregnant.

55:26 Caller Well, that's probably further down the road.

55:29 Adam I see.

55:29 Drew Do you want to cheat on your girlfriend? No.

55:32 Guest Does she know you like it?

55:33 Drew So why are you calling about this?

55:35 Adam He's into it. Who knows?

55:37 Drew Always wanted to try. How would that work?

55:39 Caller It's just something I've never heard about as far as the risk of transmission. You always talk about safe sex and condoms.

55:45 Drew So you're making this call up to try to discuss the risks of...

55:48 Caller I'm just more curious. Is that possible as a source of transmission?

55:51 Adam No. Let's just go with no. But if you got your girlfriend pregnant, Drew, or your wife pregnant, how long would it take before she would lactate? At what stage? At what point?

56:05 Drew I think by three months is starting to...

56:07 Adam All right. And when do they cut the abortion thing off?

56:11 Guest I got a plan here.

56:13 Adam He may have like a hell of a weekend. You know, if he could time it just right.

56:18 Guest By the hour. Three hours of milk for the deadline.

56:23 Adam Right. No, anyway, it goes to one of these states that has the second trimester abortions. He gets a good three months of milk.

56:31 Drew Three months of milk.

56:34 Adam See, the two hens are laying. Jesus Christ. Wait a minute. I got the partridge in the paratrine. That song is it just sounds like a bad mushroom trip or something. Partridge is in the paratrine. The milk maids are milking and the hens are laying. And the ducks swinging.

56:54 Guest They're swinging ducks.

56:55 Caller I don't think there's any swinging.

56:56 Guest Is there anything about doves? I'm Jewish.

56:58 Caller I don't know.

56:59 Adam Drew, what is that? The geese are laying. The geese are laying. The milk and maids. Five golden rings. Five golden rings.

57:08 Guest Five golden rings.

57:09 Adam Four hummingbirds.

57:11 Guest Birds are humming.

57:12 Adam No, no.

57:13 Drew Four hummingbirds.

57:13 Adam No, not hummingbirds. Hold on. It's not hummingbirds.

57:16 Guest Turtle doves, baby. Turtle doves.

57:19 Drew Calling birds?

57:21 Guest Turtle doves.

57:21 Adam There's something to do with turtle doves. We're going to work this up. It's a turtle dove.

57:25 Guest It's a dove turtle.

57:27 Adam Calling birds. Three friendship.

57:28 Drew Brian, 15.

57:29 Caller Two turtle doves.

57:30 Drew Brian?

57:31 Caller Brian?

57:31 Yeah?

57:33 Adam What's up there, Brian? 15.

57:35 Caller Yeah, my ex-girlfriend is like stalking me.

57:38 Guest And like, I don't know what to do about it.

57:40 Adam Okay.

57:41 Drew How long has she been your ex?

57:43 Caller For probably about four months now.

57:44 Drew How long did you date her for?

57:46 Six months.

57:47 Drew And have you told anyone that she's doing this?

57:50 Caller To some of my friends.

57:50 Drew Why don't you tell some adults?

57:52 Adam Oh, wait a minute. What's she doing?

57:55 Caller Like, she's been following me around the school analyzing my stuff, coming over to my house, like every other hour sometimes.

58:03 Guest She's broken my bedroom window like twice.

58:06 Adam Wow, that's serious.

58:07 Drew I think that's real stalking. I think you don't know what she's capable of. There's something called psychotic stalking where people will really lose it and do scary and dangerous things. And it's time that you at least give her the opportunity to get some help if not protect yourself. You've got to tell someone this is not right, Brian.

58:26 Adam I got this song in my hand. I'm trying to figure out about the coming birds and I know it doesn't work. Calling Birds. Well, that's what I said. I did say Calling Birds. At some point. Don't make us play the tape. Anderson, back me up with the Calling Birds. Okay. Hey, Brian?

58:42 Guest Yeah?

58:45 Guest What?

58:45 Adam Do you talk to her at all?

58:47 Caller Yeah, I've done it a couple of times.

58:50 Adam Do you like yell at her until she stops following you?

58:52 Guest Yeah.

58:53 Guest What did she say?

58:54 Guest She says, okay, but she keeps doing it.

58:58 Adam Do you have any of... How are her parents? What's her home life like?

59:02 Caller I wouldn't know, really.

59:05 Guest You dated her for six months?

59:06 Adam Six months.

59:06 Guest Yeah.

59:07 Drew You didn't wonder about that?

59:10 Guest Not really.

59:10 Drew Oh, right.

59:11 Adam You never went to her house?

59:12 Caller I wonder if she stalked once or twice, but her parents weren't there.

59:14 Drew I wonder if she's stalking him now. It's quite a catch.

59:16 Adam Six months. That's a lot of time for a 15-year-old. Okay, so what should he do?

59:22 Drew He's a 30-year-old boy. You've got to take care of this. She's got to get some help.

59:25 Caller Like who?

59:26 Drew Her parents, your parents, someone at school you trust, someone you trust, an adult to take care of this.

59:31 Guest When do you call the cops?

59:34 Drew A long time ago. She comes to Trespassing, call the police.

59:37 Adam All right. I just don't like calling the cops for everything. I hate that plan. I just think people use the cops like police.

59:48 Guest Like they're policing us? Yeah.

59:50 Adam They're using the cops to police us. I think that's a very slippery slope.

59:54 Guest Me too.

59:55 Guest Because then what?

59:57 Yeah.

59:58 Adam Because eventually they'll turn into law enforcement personnel and then it's over. Jeremy?

1:00:04 Caller Yeah.

1:00:04 Adam You're 22?

1:00:06 Caller Yeah.

1:00:06 Adam What's up?

1:00:08 Drew What's up?

1:00:09 Adam Turn your radio down.

1:00:11 Caller Okay.

1:00:12 Adam All right. I'm going to put him back on hold.

1:00:14 Caller Now here we go.

1:00:15 Adam All right.

1:00:15 Go ahead.

1:00:17 Caller Okay.

1:00:17 Is this Adam?

1:00:18 Adam Yes. Go.

1:00:19 Caller Okay.

1:00:20 Guest Adam.

1:00:20 Caller Hey.

1:00:22 I got a couple of buddies here.

1:00:23 Caller I mean, we're brainstorming. We know what to call the rack heads from Afghanistan.

1:00:29 Guest Oh, God.

1:00:31 Adam This is going to be clever.

1:00:32 Caller Hold on.

1:00:34 Adam Grab your pen now.

1:00:36 Guest This is the type.

1:00:36 Adam Yeah. This is going to be a keeper. Go ahead. Okay.

1:00:39 Caller Well, what you want to call him is Haji.

1:00:42 Guest You call him Haji.

1:00:45 Caller Haji.

1:00:46 Adam Haji.

1:00:47 Guest This was a brainstorm? Yeah.

1:00:51 Adam Yeah.

1:00:51 Caller This was a brainstorm.

1:00:52 Guest There were several minds towards this culmination.

1:00:56 Adam Right. Okay.

1:00:58 Caller You spell that H-A-D-J-I.

1:01:01 Guest All right?

1:01:03 Adam Right.

1:01:04 Caller Now, that's for the people in Afghanistan.

1:01:08 Guest Right.

1:01:10 Guest The large percent of the listeners.

1:01:11 Adam You have a pretty good listenership over there. Be careful.

1:01:15 Guest With the twin towers and everything.

1:01:17 Caller That's what you're supposed to call those guys. All right.

1:01:18 Adam And anything else, Jeremy?

1:01:20 Caller That's a flanker.

1:01:23 Guest Thanks.

1:01:23 Caller No, that's it.

1:01:24 Guest Thanks, Jeremy.

1:01:24 Drew Are you a peddleton or?

1:01:26 Guest Jesus.

1:01:26 Guest That's a good...

1:01:28 Guest Quite the thinking tank.

1:01:30 Drew Maybe the guy's going over there.

1:01:32 Adam So we call him Haji, but we put the emphasis on the G.

1:01:35 Drew I don't know.

1:01:36 Guest It's funny that way.

1:01:38 Drew I was thinking about our buddies, the drill sergeants the other day.

1:01:41 Adam The guys from... What show was that?

1:01:43 Guest Maury Povich? There we go, drill sergeants.

1:01:45 Adam Bootcamp?

1:01:45 Drew Bootcamp.

1:01:46 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:01:48 Got another question, Wendell?

1:01:50 Adam Bring it on.

1:01:50 Hurry up. Hurry up.

1:01:52 Guest Get out of my face right now.

1:01:53 Push, push, push, you nasty thing.

1:01:57 Adam That was during the commercial when producer A&S, they wanted more coffee. You should have heard them cranked up when they were on the air. Wow.

1:02:06 Guest They yell those guys.

1:02:08 Adam Jenny.

1:02:10 Drew Jenny 21. Jenny. Oh, I was on their phones. Jenny. There she is. Jenny.

1:02:17 Adam When you say there she is. You heard nothing.

1:02:21 Yeah.

1:02:21 Adam You're 15?

1:02:22 Caller Yeah.

1:02:22 Adam Okay. What's going on?

1:02:25 Guest My girlfriend keeps asking me to have sex and I try but I can't get in the erection and I have no problem in getting an erection when she gives me oral sex or when she touches me and I've been told it's because I get high or whatever.

1:02:44 Drew You get high?

1:02:45 Guest Yeah.

1:02:45 Drew You mean you smoke a lot of pot?

1:02:47 Guest Just not a lot. Every now and then. Not like every day.

1:02:52 Drew Every other day?

1:02:53 Guest No, just like on special occasions.

1:02:55 Guest Like your birthday?

1:02:57 Guest No, not like Wednesdays. Like on Christmas maybe. And like on my birthday.

1:03:02 Guest Christmas.

1:03:03 Drew That's not going to do that.

1:03:04 Guest It's not. I've been told it was because of that and because I've never had sex before.

1:03:11 Drew Well that will do that. You get a little freaked out and you can have performance anxiety. Yeah, sure that can happen.

1:03:18 Adam But your penis works fine with the oral sex?

1:03:20 Guest Yeah.

1:03:21 Adam Do you have an orgasm?

1:03:22 Guest Yeah.

1:03:23 Adam Well, that's pretty good. I mean, you're, you know, you're head of the curve for most 15-year-olds. You're doing all right. And the hand gets you going too, right?

1:03:33 Guest Yeah.

1:03:34 Adam But just not the intercourse?

1:03:36 Guest No.

1:03:37 Adam But how do you know? I mean, have you gotten it in there?

1:03:40 Guest Well, we've tried many times.

1:03:43 Adam And it doesn't, it stops work? I mean, what if she gave you some oral sex, got you going, and then you did it?

1:03:50 Guest We've tried.

1:03:52 Adam And nothing?

1:03:53 Guest It just quits in between.

1:03:55 Drew And you're on no medication?

1:03:57 Guest No.

1:03:58 Adam How long is that period in between? Because I've gotten it shaved down to just a couple heartbeats from like a pigeon, you know, from the oral to the part where I'm in?

1:04:07 Guest That's the dash.

1:04:09 Adam Yeah. What's going on? It's not a lot of downtime there. It can literally be just a couple of seconds.

1:04:15 Guest Well, we have to change positions. And she has to take off her clothes and all of this.

1:04:22 Adam Uh-huh. Maybe you want to start planning with her, you know, getting out of the jumpsuit and long johns.

1:04:30 Guest Aim to cut down that time.

1:04:31 Adam Right.

1:04:32 Guest That should be the goal.

1:04:33 Adam Ever take the knee-high boots off and the stockings and leggings and all that before the BJ? And then, well, see, because once you get it in and it's erect, it comes right back to life. It's like Superman getting into like a lead vault, you know, when a kryptonite's draining, it's amping its strength. Once you get in, you immediately get your powers out.

1:04:57 Guest Solitude, yeah.

1:04:58 Adam That's right. It is.

1:05:01 Guest I have another question.

1:05:02 Drew Yeah?

1:05:03 Guest There is a girl on the set, right?

1:05:05 Drew On the set?

1:05:06 Guest Yeah, where y'all are at.

1:05:07 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:05:08 Guest All right. She told me that she was on birth control, but she also told other people that she was lying. And she got very upset when she asked me if we were to have sex, if we were going to use a condom. And I said yes.

1:05:23 Caller Wait, say that one more time? She said she...

1:05:24 Drew She told him she was using birth control pills. She told other people she wasn't. She became angry when he said he wanted to use a condom. And she... What does that mean?

1:05:32 Guest She has been lately talking about kids.

1:05:35 Guest Oh, use one.

1:05:36 Caller I would, yeah, use the condom.

1:05:38 Adam And how old is she?

1:05:40 Guest She's 17.

1:05:42 Guest Oh, that's no good.

1:05:43 Adam And what do you mean talking about kids?

1:05:45 Guest Like, like, maybe I want a kid.

1:05:48 Caller Definitely the condom.

1:05:50 Adam All right. Well, this could be one of the reasons your penis isn't working either.

1:05:53 Guest It can sense. It has spider senses.

1:05:55 Adam Smarter than you. Yes, it knows. It knows like a dog knows. My penis knows when there's going to be an earthquake. It hides up my ass. I did. I woke up with my penis up my ass. I didn't know what it was doing there. I found out we had a tremor that night.

1:06:12 Guest Yeah, it was also full moon.

1:06:13 Adam It knew it. Do you know your penis and balls act weird before an earthquake?

1:06:18 Drew I thought it was just when it came around water.

1:06:21 Guest Yeah, it finds water.

1:06:22 Adam Yeah, you're right. The penis finds water and the balls act strange during the earthquake.

1:06:27 Guest I get that around the finish.

1:06:30 Guest People from Finland, I mean.

1:06:33 Adam All right. So do we help him other than to say, do not get her pregnant. And maybe it's good that your penis is not functioning, but.

1:06:41 Caller It's going to slow him down. That condom is going to.

1:06:43 Adam Oh, yeah, that's valuable to say.

1:06:45 Guest Have it on while he's getting to the job.

1:06:48 Caller Oh, that's nice. I want to do that.

1:06:50 Guest They do in the various.

1:06:52 Drew What?

1:06:54 Guest And then, you know, but that's and then so like when he's when he's ready, then they stick it in. It's already right.

1:06:59 Adam Now, here's what I was thinking, though. I thought that suggestion is good, but he's not using it for protection. He's using it for speed. So what if she could get her head up under the condom? Oral like some some kind of bad Howie Mandel's bit. There's no bad. Yeah, exactly. I know. No, you're right. Howie is a genius.

1:07:21 Caller True.

1:07:22 Adam But touche. But this one would be a bad one if he actually slid the condom over his head and stuffed the penis up in there too.

1:07:31 Guest If they're with it.

1:07:33 Adam I would go to see that concert. That giant bag.

1:07:37 Guest That could be just what he needs.

1:07:38 Adam Shaped like a hand.

1:07:40 Guest That could be the comeback.

1:07:42 Adam Howie, we're going to breathe some life in it. Yes, this is not the 80s anymore. You need a dick shoved up into that condom that's on your head.

1:07:51 Guest Start to even blow jobs, Howie.

1:07:54 Adam Joe?

1:07:56 Caller Yes.

1:07:56 Adam You're 34. What's up?

1:07:58 Caller Well, I hear you guys talk a lot about how it's totally abnormal for women to lactate if they've never been pregnant.

1:08:06 Drew Wait a minute, we didn't say anything like that.

1:08:07 Adam We didn't say totally abnormal.

1:08:09 Drew We just said that it's unusual and they can be caused by just irritating the nipple.

1:08:14 Caller But I hear you, Dr. Drew, say frequently that it's something that you haven't heard of typically, that typically you would have to be caused by some other factor.

1:08:24 Drew No, I didn't say that. I said you want to have it evaluated if you have that. You want to get your thyroid checked. You want to get your prolactin levels checked. The medication causes. There's a lot. It is a medical problem when you have that. And once that's all been ruled out, then it's whatever it is. It's just maybe just irritation in the nipple.

1:08:40 Caller Well, but I've had it for like 12 years right now. And it's not like...

1:08:44 Drew Have you had it evaluated?

1:08:46 Caller I've had it evaluated like three different times.

1:08:48 Guest Okay, so it's...

1:08:49 Caller And I'm like, oh my god, the doctors keep misdiagnosing me.

1:08:52 Drew So it's nothing.

1:08:53 Guest Do you drink a ton of milk?

1:08:55 Caller I do not.

1:08:56 Guest It could be that.

1:08:57 Adam Just run off or it actually gets processed through the body.

1:09:00 Caller I was going to say you should set her up with the guy.

1:09:02 Adam Yeah. You single, Joe?

1:09:05 Caller Not exactly looking for that, man.

1:09:08 Adam Oh, you're not?

1:09:09 Guest He's looking for you.

1:09:11 Caller Also, I wanted to ask you guys...

1:09:13 Adam Well, wait a second, Joe, just to finish, because we get this a lot. First, you know, you're a freak, right? So we can't account for that, is what I'm saying.

1:09:22 Caller Freak because?

1:09:23 Adam Well, not one out of every... I don't know how many, but it's probably 750 to 1,000.

1:09:30 Caller The dog is at one in ten.

1:09:31 Adam No, he was doing that to make you feel good, so you'd pay and just get the hell out of there. It's not one in ten. No, I mean, how much lactation do you do?

1:09:40 Caller It has to be stimulated in order to do so, and it's only a couple drops.

1:09:46 Adam All right, still, one in ten women who are not pregnant, who have no tumors or thyroid problems or are on some kind of medication, I don't think it's one in ten of those women.

1:09:56 Drew How many of your friends talk about having this?

1:09:59 Caller Well, it's not exactly something you bring up with all of them.

1:10:01 Drew They would if they...

1:10:02 Adam Hold on, you're on a radio show right now talking about it.

1:10:05 Guest She only has nine friends.

1:10:08 Adam So she did the math. All right. All right, Joe, but anyway, we don't... What Drew is saying, what we do on the show frequently is we don't cover every base. We say most women do not do this, and that is still true. But as I was saying, there are magazines dedicated to this, and Drew was saying if there's enough stimulation, and that just happens to be you. So what is your next question?

1:10:33 Caller My next question is just when people call up and they have been sexually molested or whatever, how come you guys don't push that they go after their attacker more?

1:10:46 Drew You mean to go back and confront them?

1:10:48 Caller No, to actually prosecute them or try and take it to some limit where they get to feel some kind of, I don't know, success about it. I mean, I haven't been sexually molested, but I was a teacher that had a lot of children there that were, and it's like, it just seems that it would empower them so much to be able to do something about it.

1:11:08 Drew You know why, Jo? Yeah, you know why? It doesn't. If it did, we would. If it doesn't, it doesn't really do anything to them in terms of their recovery.

1:11:17 Adam Are you on disability?

1:11:18 Caller No, I'm not on disability.

1:11:20 Adam You're working with kids now?

1:11:23 Caller I'm working with kids now, no.

1:11:25 Guest What happened?

1:11:27 Caller With teaching. I didn't get paid enough. I live in Silicon Valley.

1:11:31 Adam I see. You got a better job.

1:11:32 Caller Sounds ironic.

1:11:34 Adam Well, most of the people we talk to who were molested, these are situations that happen like 15 or 20 years ago sometimes.

1:11:42 Drew That somebody doesn't know who it was.

1:11:43 Adam Really crazy long times ago. You can't prove it. They say, it was my grandfather and he's dead, or he did get prosecuted, or my uncle shot him or something.

1:11:54 Drew Or when they go back and confront them, it really doesn't do much for them.

1:11:59 Caller If they go back and they say, hey you jerk, you did this to me, well not that kind of confronting, and I think they get confused with that, but if there were some steps anywhere where they could say these are the choices that you do have, if you want to take legal process against them, then I feel like that could empower them.

1:12:16 Guest I'm surprised that you say that it doesn't.

1:12:18 Drew Because it doesn't. It doesn't do anything for them in terms of their recovery. And people who run recovery, you know, survivor recovery programs, that's not the focus of the treatment at all. Because it doesn't do much for them. Their brain has been configured as a result of this, and that needs to be reprocessed. And it's not about prosecuting, and it's not about vengeance. It's not about any of that.

1:12:39 Adam Well, don't get us wrong. I'd like these people dead.

1:12:41 Drew And we've said that all the time.

1:12:42 Adam Essentially. And I always make that point. But it's just usually so distant, so far away. The person's dead half the time. It's just that if anything happens where someone is sexually abused or raped, there's something and there's some possibility that they can go back and prosecute or bring these people to justice somehow. We do suggest that unless, of course, it's me. I've got cable TV shows, and you just turn the other cheek in that case. Chalk that up to experience.

1:13:10 Guest Think of all the good he's doing now.

1:13:12 Adam That's right. You're not paying for this radio show, yet there's some entertainment and information being put forward. Drew, you want to take a break? Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:13:21 Caller That's a curtain.

1:13:22 Adam George puts the sticker by the thing and then lets me do it. You don't want to sell it, Drew?

1:13:27 Drew No, he wants to thank you for turning his life around.

1:13:29 Adam Who, me?

1:13:29 Drew Yeah.

1:13:30 Adam Wow. I want to just say hi. Hey, buddy.

1:13:34 Guest Hi, how's it going?

1:13:34 Adam What's happening, champ? You want to thank me for turning your life around?

1:13:38 Guest Yeah, I was listening to the show last year, and I just broke my ankle, and I was on a track scholarship. And because of that, I couldn't go to the university, and I just didn't feel like going, and I was depressed. And the show with the drill instructors from boot camp was on.

1:13:55 Adam Well, turn your life around. Hold on a second. We'll see if we can't turn it back again and get you heading down the wrong path. Undeclared is the show we're talking about tonight. We got half the cast in, and we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll get back with Kurt after this.

1:14:11 Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right...

1:14:52 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I like this riff too. This is Ooba Stink. Ooba Stink.

1:15:04 Drew Stank.

1:15:05 Adam Stank. All right. Well, they'll be in here in a couple of weeks or days or something like that, right? Didn't we run into them on Saturday?

1:15:13 Drew We did. They came up and introduced themselves.

1:15:16 Adam It's a good song. Jacef and Carla are all here from Undeclared. Fox is a new hit. Tuesday Nights. That was an interesting cadence to that applause there. It was sort of a... It wasn't really a partisan crowd there. There were some folks who weren't excited about the show and the crowd. Let me hear that again. Oh, I see. There's milk in it. 8.30 Tuesday Nights on Fox. Top three, by the way. I mean, Fox is number three network now. Oh, nice. Crazy. Yeah. Congratulations. Absolutely. You're with ABC. You want to kill yourself about now. Oh, yeah. Got Fox in there. They're found by Fox. Wow. You got... Although, speaking of Fox, you guys watch The Family Guy?

1:16:03 Guest Yes.

1:16:03 Guest I see Family Guy.

1:16:04 Guest I love that show.

1:16:05 Adam Very funny.

1:16:05 Guest Unacceptable.

1:16:06 Adam Very funny.

1:16:07 Guest I love that show.

1:16:07 Guest That baby, that thing's genius. Oh, my God.

1:16:09 Adam Very funny show.

1:16:10 Guest One of the best anime shows.

1:16:12 Adam Absolutely.

1:16:13 Caller Then I think to myself, my God, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be homosexual?

1:16:20 Guest That's the funny baby.

1:16:23 Adam Kurt?

1:16:23 Guest Yeah.

1:16:24 Adam You're 18?

1:16:24 Guest Yeah.

1:16:25 Adam What's up?

1:16:26 Guest Not much. Just last year, like I said, I broke my ankle.

1:16:30 Adam Oh, right, right.

1:16:31 Guest And because of that, I tore some ligaments and tendons in my knee and I couldn't go to college on my scholarship. And it was when you were really ranting and raving about 18-year-olds going into the military. If they were just going to go to junior college anyways.

1:16:46 Adam Right.

1:16:47 Guest And the drill instructors from bootcamp were on there. And they were just talking and I was really out of it. I was just kind of moping around, not doing anything. And just the next morning, I went to my local recruiters and signed up. And I just want to thank you a lot for that because I probably would just end up being in junior college if it weren't for that.

1:17:08 Motivate.

1:17:11 Adam And so you signed up for which branch?

1:17:14 Guest Air Force.

1:17:15 Adam And then what? What happened after that?

1:17:18 Guest I had to wait until the middle of the summer because my tech school doesn't start until the middle of January.

1:17:24 Adam So now we're into last summer, right?

1:17:27 Guest Yeah, this was in June that I decided to go in.

1:17:31 Adam Right.

1:17:32 Guest And I've just been waiting the summer and I leave for boot camp in two weeks.

1:17:36 Adam And what are you going to learn? What are you going to study?

1:17:39 Guest Military intelligence.

1:17:40 Adam Besides killing towelheads. Hodgeys. I mean, that's your major. Hodgeys, you have an emphasis.

1:17:48 Drew Intelligence.

1:17:49 Adam Oh, intelligence. All right. All right, Kurt.

1:17:52 Guest And then I had another question. Actually, it was my girlfriend. She wanted to know why in the shower, if you fart, why is it more amplified? And I figured you'd be the person to ask.

1:18:02 Caller That's acoustics, I'd say.

1:18:03 Adam Yeah, that's acoustics.

1:18:04 Drew That's the tile.

1:18:05 Caller That's the acoustics.

1:18:06 Drew More hajis.

1:18:07 Guest Well, I might like the smell.

1:18:09 Adam More hajis! Oh, why is the smell amplified?

1:18:14 Guest Bathrooms smell already anyway.

1:18:16 Drew Well, like, contained?

1:18:16 Adam Is it because of the heat?

1:18:17 Guest The humidity?

1:18:18 Drew On the shower, do you want to close space? Yeah.

1:18:20 Adam Listen, you climb into a vacuum bag and blow wind, it's going to smell twice as bad than being in a blimp hanger. You got to do the math there, you know, in terms of cubic inches and volume and things like that. There's not much circulation going on, but the air is heavy and thick too, you know.

1:18:39 Guest Surprised you even thought of that.

1:18:41 Adam It's good.

1:18:41 Guest Okay. Yeah, it was her question. She would have killed me if I hadn't asked.

1:18:44 Drew Yeah.

1:18:46 Adam I would like to, you know, my maid was at my house and I had a little, I had some bad gas while my maid was at the house and upstairs, I had to go into the bathroom and clean myself out a little bit. And I was sitting there just praying she wasn't going to come back and, you know, here, here, no, I did like a courtesy flush and stuff, but I didn't want her to hear what was going on in there. And you know, you got the tile floor, the tile walls, the, you know, the porcelain toilet acoustically. I mean, there's the only thing I got a terry cloth bathrobe that's supposed to absorb, you know, all the sound. And it's not, it's not working. I tried to do the cheek spread, but it didn't work. It got made a flapping noise. All I'm saying is, is I would like to do up a bathroom like a recording studio.

1:19:34 Guest Yeah. Foam on the walls. Put that, that'd be great actually. You could let loose.

1:19:38 Adam Get that egg carton stuff on the ceiling and on the walls. Do that thing where they do in recordings, but actually cut the slab so it's independent of the slab that the house is on so the sound waves don't reverberate.

1:19:50 Drew You can use a double door like this.

1:19:52 Adam Double door with the pneumatic clothes that are in there and it's all insulated.

1:19:56 Guest Your ass can scream all it wants and no one's going to hear.

1:20:00 Adam It's space.

1:20:02 Caller You don't hear your ass.

1:20:06 Drew Debbie 41.

1:20:07 Adam Be good. What is that from? Aliens? Yeah. That would be great. We do like an alien porn movie called like Feltchian and the slug line is in space. No one can hear your ass scream.

1:20:27 Adam That would be great.

1:20:28 Guest It's farting into a vacuum.

1:20:31 Drew Debbie.

1:20:32 Hi.

1:20:32 Adam You're 41. What's up?

1:20:34 Caller Yeah. Huge fan of your show. I listen every day. And my three teenage kids and I often discuss your program over breakfast.

1:20:41 Drew Oh, that's good.

1:20:44 Caller I'm a social worker and I just want, I do a lot of AIDS education and I just wanted to put it out there that breast milk is one of the ways that HIV is transferred.

1:20:53 Drew Well, it was thought to have been, but there was an article published a couple weeks ago that showed that risk was essentially nil.

1:20:59 Caller Is that right?

1:21:00 Drew And obviously if your viral load is way up, everything is contagious, but and if I remember that study was on pregnant women who were under treatment and so I may be misspeaking a little bit that suppression of the viral titers is necessary to take away the infectivity of breast milk. So somebody who didn't know they had HIV and was at a high level of viral replication might be contagious.

1:21:21 Adam I saw that in an issue of Poppin and Milking. I think they ran that article.

1:21:27 Drew That's good.

1:21:28 Adam That's nice.

1:21:29 Drew But I guess it's a controversial thing. But it's certainly worth people being aware of it, that's for sure, and worrying about any body fluid.

1:21:38 Adam I mean for mothers who might breast feed.

1:21:41 Drew And for any guys like that weird, excuse me, that gentleman who called them.

1:21:45 Adam Very normal guy. How bad would it be if Darwin just shot him a little shot of lactate in his mouth and got rid of him though? You know what I'm saying, is that such a bad thing?

1:22:00 Guest I don't know.

1:22:01 Adam Don't we need to thin the herd just a little bit that way?

1:22:05 Drew You've never heard Adam speak about genetic engineering of giant populations before?

1:22:09 Adam Yeah, I got plans.

1:22:11 Guest One day.

1:22:12 Adam You know, hey, you okay there Debbie?

1:22:15 Caller I'm good.

1:22:15 Drew Thanks Debbie.

1:22:16 Adam Hey, how old are your kids?

1:22:18 Caller Twenty, eighteen and sixteen.

1:22:20 Drew Wow.

1:22:21 Adam You guys, you sit down for breakfast and you like have to break off in discussion groups about what went on on Loveline the night before?

1:22:28 Caller Yeah, we do.

1:22:29 Adam That's nice.

1:22:30 Caller It's pretty cool.

1:22:31 Adam All right.

1:22:31 Guest Make sure you talk about the farting into space thing.

1:22:33 Adam Yeah.

1:22:35 Caller I'll have to bring that up.

1:22:36 Caller Are they all boys?

1:22:38 Drew Three boys?

1:22:38 Caller Two older are boys and the youngest is a girl.

1:22:41 Drew Wow.

1:22:42 Adam All right there, Debbie.

1:22:43 Drew Good luck. Thanks.

1:22:44 Adam Take care of yourself. You know, I don't know why I thought of this, but maybe it had to do with, you know, population control. But and then Hitler, you know, popped into my mind. I was, you know, I went to the dentist today and I got all screwed up. And so I just went home and, you know, popped some pills inside to watch the History Channel. And they had like a special on Hitler. It's always funny when they do these things like where you can really get to know the real hitler behind the musket. Yeah. Yeah. Here's what you didn't know about Hitler. It's great. And there's this so there's this one part. I just turn it on and they were talking about that. What is that? The crystal knock when they when they broke the glass, broke all the glass. And Drew, you're half Jew. What are you giving that? What are you looking for? Well, I don't know. Nineteen thirty eight and maybe nineteen thirty seven. I don't know. Maybe nineteen thirty nine. Just sort of right before World War Two. The Germans took to the streets and they went to the Jewish area and they broke all the glass and the crystal knock means like night of broken glass, you know, and the ninety one Jews were killed and that should have been. Wow. Anderson, what the hell was that?

1:23:56 Caller I didn't do that. Alright.

1:23:58 Adam Ninety one Jews just died listening to that. And that should have been people should have known there was trouble afoot when this went on, but nobody paid attention to it. You don't know about that, Drew?

1:24:08 Drew I'm just drawing my memory now.

1:24:10 Adam Okay. So the point is, they said that a lot of people figured that Hitler was behind this and that he had called this and sort of gotten the whole anti-Semitic thing rolling and then that bled into World War II. But then they had some old guy who was like one of Hitler's wingman and Hitler's posse. Yeah. And his name was like. Entourage. Ice Helmet, I think the guy's name was. So they talked to him, he was like a guy in his 80s, you know, and he was like, no, no, no, no, Hitler had nothing to do with this. Hitler didn't even know about it. As a matter of fact, Hitler was upset when he found out. So he was basically defending Hitler and he thought, well that's a good angle, except for the part where he then exterminated six million Jews a few months later. You know, I mean, other than that, great angle on the defense, you know.

1:25:00 Guest But he didn't break the windows.

1:25:03 Adam It was just funny to hear the guy, he was indignant and he was a little upset. Not my Hitler. No, no, he had nothing to do with it. How dare you accuse him of this? He had nothing to do with it. Teddy Vandalism. As a matter of fact, I can tell you where he was. He was designing an oven to burn Jews at the time. He was nowhere near this. It was just funny to hear the guy really defending him.

1:25:25 Guest Don't you besmirch the good name of Hitler.

1:25:27 Adam Six million, not six million and ninety-one, buddy.

1:25:30 Caller Get it right.

1:25:34 Adam Jenny?

1:25:35 Caller Hi.

1:25:35 Adam You're twenty-one?

1:25:36 Caller Yeah. I have a question for you guys. My boyfriend is thirty-two. We both talk about having a threesome. I wanted to know what the probability of the relationship surviving if we actually did do that.

1:25:49 Drew Surviving to what? To marriage and longevity? Yeah.

1:25:53 Caller Like the future.

1:25:54 Drew Got to approach zero.

1:25:56 Adam Point something.

1:25:57 Drew It has to get near zero. I see ships that will have a sort of a balance for a while that they can maintain with those kinds of behaviors, but I don't see them going long.

1:26:08 Caller Well, it would be better leaving it as a fantasy than actually...

1:26:11 Drew It would be better, but then already we're kind of worried about what's up here, that this guy is so into this and you're so even considering it.

1:26:18 Adam What's up? Whose idea is this, Jenny?

1:26:22 Caller Well, he's really into doing it and I'm open to it. I'm more nervous about it, which is why I'm calling.

1:26:27 Adam Right.

1:26:28 Caller But he's more into it than I am.

1:26:31 Adam Well, I got a couple of thoughts. One is, we always hear about this screwing up the relationship because what happens is they have the threesome. The guy pays a little too much attention to the chick. The chick freaks out.

1:26:41 Guest They just have feelings.

1:26:41 Adam They start arguing about it. Feelings come up and they break up two months later. But if they just kept having threesomes, I think they could push through.

1:26:49 Guest There's no time to prove it. Right.

1:26:51 Adam They're on to their next threesome.

1:26:53 Drew We have seen those.

1:26:54 Adam Now we haven't.

1:26:55 Drew They develop some homeostasis where they're in bounds for a while but eventually the house of cards falls.

1:27:00 Adam If you've got a new threesome going every weekend, I think you could ride that horse for a long time.

1:27:05 Guest Every once in a while I see on the text.

1:27:07 Caller My fear would be getting jealous afterwards. It's very interesting to me at the time.

1:27:14 Drew He's working it. He won't even let her talk on the phone.

1:27:18 Caller He's saying that he wants to get it out of his system before he gets married.

1:27:22 Adam See that, hold on. This is an interesting carrot to dangle in front of a woman. Which is, look, I'd love to marry you, I'd love to buy jewelry, I'd love to keep you at home, make babies and all that. I got a little laundry list here.

1:27:36 Drew Stipulation.

1:27:37 Adam Yeah, let's check it off. You got a threesome, your kid sister.

1:27:44 Drew Mom.

1:27:44 Adam I got to talk to her.

1:27:45 Drew Mom.

1:27:46 Adam Mom. That's right. And just a few more. It's a couple of chicks from high school. I got to check out the list.

1:27:52 Drew Anal is on the list here.

1:27:55 Adam Anal, Golden Shower, the lactating chicks. I got that. I'd like to give you the gingivitis of your crotch. What the hell?

1:28:05 Guest E coli.

1:28:06 Adam E coli, vaginal E coli. I got a couple, just a few things to check off the list here, and then we can go ahead and get married.

1:28:13 Guest Because I love you that much.

1:28:14 Caller To get it out of its system.

1:28:16 Drew It's interesting. Gingivitis and vaginitis. Just switch that D and that G around, boy.

1:28:22 Adam That's why they don't do live TV anymore.

1:28:27 Drew Jenny, if he needs to get things out of his system, you need to break up for a little while, and he needs to get it out of his system, and then you guys get back together. That's how you do it.

1:28:35 Adam Thank you. It probably is not going to work.

1:28:39 Drew It's not good to hang with him while he's getting stuff out of his system.

1:28:43 Adam What does he get to do with the chick, though, while you're there? Pretty much everything.

1:28:51 Drew If he doesn't get to do everything, then he'll have to go back again and get it out of his system.

1:28:53 Guest There will still be some in his system.

1:28:55 Adam That's right. There's still some that needs to be bled out of the system. I know how that goes.

1:29:00 Guest I didn't get to crap on him.

1:29:02 Adam That's right. Oh, well, technically, but just once. He's a little one. All right.

1:29:12 Caller Well, you guys taught me a lot.

1:29:14 Adam All right. Sorry. All right. He's going to kill himself. We're going to take a little break. Captain Undeclared is here tonight. We'll be right back.

1:29:26 Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:29:57 Caller Hi, this is Jeremy McGrath, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:30:05 Adam Jeremy McGrath, everybody, the world's greatest supercross rider. J-Seth and Carla are all here from Undeclared, 8.30 Tuesday nights, Fox, tomorrow's big episode starring or co-starring Adam Sandler, guest starring Adam Sandler.

1:30:22 Guest All three.

1:30:22 Adam Drew?

1:30:23 Guest Yep.

1:30:23 Adam Rita Humpback here. Aisha Tyler in here from Talk Soup tomorrow night and Tori Amos in here from wherever she's from, from Mars on Wednesday night because she's like the world's weirdest chick. She could really give, oh, who the hell am I trying to think, Bjork. She could give Bjork a run for her money in the crazy, crazy department.

1:30:48 Drew You know what? No, Bjork got it hands down. Hands down.

1:30:51 Caller Bjork seems nuts with that dress.

1:30:54 Guest Bjork's name is Bjork.

1:30:56 Adam Yeah, that's true. Yeah, Bjork is crazier. But she could give her a run.

1:31:01 Drew I'm just kidding. She had a battery pack on to give her like some magnetic energies that she needed.

1:31:06 Guest A battery pack?

1:31:07 Adam Right.

1:31:08 Caller That's crazy.

1:31:09 Adam Oh, well, there you go.

1:31:10 Guest A battery pack?

1:31:12 Adam Steven? Yeah. What's up?

1:31:15 Caller Well, sometimes when I have sex, I'm uncircumcised and the skin on my penis gets pulled and it hurts.

1:31:24 Drew That's one of the drawbacks of having foreskin is it can tear and can narrow and become pain in the neck in terms of getting the head of the penis out of the skin, out of the foreskin. And sometimes it's even an indication of circumcision if that really starts tearing a lot and narrowing and hurting.

1:31:37 Caller You still get a circumcision after, I mean?

1:31:39 Drew Oh yeah, anytime you want.

1:31:40 Guest Wow.

1:31:41 Guest I know a guy who was circumcised when he was 13.

1:31:43 Guest Really? Yeah.

1:31:44 Guest And he said it wasn't that bad. I never believed him, but he claimed it wasn't that bad.

1:31:48 Adam Was this a gardening accident or did he choose to do this?

1:31:51 Guest Yeah, he started it, they finished it.

1:31:53 Drew He actually did it at his bar mitzvah.

1:31:55 Guest Yeah.

1:31:58 Guest What should I do?

1:31:59 Drew Just don't worry about it. Keep it stretched out. Keep it a lot of lubricated moist.

1:32:03 Adam Work some mink oil into it. You got to loosen it up.

1:32:07 Caller Ouch.

1:32:08 Drew But if it really starts tearing and narrowing, that's something you ought to see a urologist about.

1:32:11 Caller Okay. Quick comment. Because of you guys, I quit my delinquency days. Hey.

1:32:18 Drew What were you doing?

1:32:19 Caller Lots of stuff. You guys just really helped.

1:32:25 Drew Thanks, Stephen.

1:32:25 Caller So thanks a lot.

1:32:26 Adam Thanks, Stephen. All right.

1:32:27 Caller You have a good day.

1:32:28 Drew Take care.

1:32:28 Adam We rarely get that, believe it or not, on this show. We've had two tonight.

1:32:32 Guest And all of his victims, thank you.

1:32:34 Caller That's right.

1:32:35 Adam Potential victims. Matt?

1:32:38 Guest Yeah.

1:32:38 Adam You're 18? Yes, I am. So you got a crush on a female friend?

1:32:43 Guest Yeah.

1:32:44 Adam And how long have you known her?

1:32:47 Guest We've been friends for about two years.

1:32:49 Adam And you've always liked her?

1:32:51 Guest Yeah.

1:32:51 Adam And she hasn't known about it?

1:32:54 Guest Well, she knows about it. And we've talked about it a lot. And she feels the same way.

1:33:02 Adam Right. But you're just talking about it, huh?

1:33:05 Guest That's when you kiss her.

1:33:06 Guest And we're like really good friends.

1:33:08 Drew Yeah. She doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I bet she's giving me that.

1:33:11 Guest It's not just that. I mean, I don't really know if I really want to get into another relationship.

1:33:16 Adam Right. You're 18. Two's enough. Ride it out to the grave without having any kind of meaningful bond with another woman. You're right.

1:33:23 Guest I mean, I went to basic training over the summer for the Army.

1:33:27 Drew Yeah.

1:33:28 Guest And while I was there, I was engaged.

1:33:31 Drew To somebody else.

1:33:32 Guest I was engaged when I left. That pretty much got broke off while I was gone.

1:33:39 Adam And so now you're...

1:33:41 Guest Now I'm kind of scared to get into another relationship.

1:33:43 Adam Well, are you going off somewhere again?

1:33:46 Guest No. I mean, I was just going to basic training.

1:33:49 Adam Right. But they got to ship you out to kill the towel heads, right?

1:33:54 Guest Well, I'm an airborne ranger. That could happen.

1:33:56 Adam That's good.

1:33:58 Caller All right.

1:33:59 Adam Well, now, so...

1:34:00 Caller All right.

1:34:00 Adam So you got your heart broken, but you get right back on that horse.

1:34:03 Guest Yeah.

1:34:04 Adam If she's into you, which I'm... which I worry that she's not, because the fact that she's been in the planning stage for two years, like it's some kind of experimental rocket or something.

1:34:14 Guest I mean, this has only come up, like, within the last month.

1:34:17 Drew That you told her how you were feeling.

1:34:19 Guest Yeah. I mean, we've come... and she said that she's felt the same way for a long time.

1:34:23 Adam But not about you. Just about, in general, she said that she was in love.

1:34:28 Drew I had that happen.

1:34:29 Adam Not specifically you, but yes, I know you're talking about dark chocolate.

1:34:34 Drew You, Matt, prevented it from going to the next step. Is that right?

1:34:38 Guest Well, I mean, I kind of want to, but I kind of don't.

1:34:41 Drew You answer my question. Matt, Matt, answer my question. You prevented it from going to the next step.

1:34:47 Guest I don't see how.

1:34:50 Drew She prevented it from going to the next level.

1:34:51 Adam Matt, go ahead and give it a shot, buddy.

1:34:53 Drew Yeah.

1:34:54 Guest Okay.

1:34:54 Adam Give it a shot.

1:34:55 Guest Go big or go home, right?

1:34:57 Adam That's right.

1:34:59 Drew If she stopped going to the next level, it's because she's not into you quite that way.

1:35:02 Adam All right.

1:35:03 Drew You stopped it, then you got some control.

1:35:06 Adam Just go give it a shot. Go give it a try. Life's too short. You don't know. A shoot could malfunction. I'm kind of worried about it. You know what I mean? I mean, you don't know. The world is your oyster. That's right. I mean, because that's all the world is. I know I was kidding when I said that. I know I was not serious. I just couldn't have been.

1:35:26 Drew We're done.

1:35:27 Adam Michelle, what? We're done with the show? Michelle?

1:35:29 Caller Yeah.

1:35:30 Adam You do Ecstasy?

1:35:32 Caller Yeah.

1:35:33 Adam Your boyfriend doesn't and he can't keep hard?

1:35:35 Caller Right. He can't get an erection. I mean, I've asked my friends. Nobody else has had a problem with that. I mean-

1:35:40 Adam Well, he's a lightweight. You got to get him off that and stop doing that Ecstasy. It screws up your brain. And then she's calling from Hawaii and saying she doesn't really need her brain over there. It's pretty much just about like carving canoes and eating coins and stuff. There's nothing going on over there. You just have to know where stuff is, like the volcano is over there and the ocean is that way.

1:36:03 Guest The beach is every way.

1:36:04 Adam Really? If there was a state where you didn't need your brain, would it be Hawaii? All right. But, you know, take it easy. You may come back to the mainland one day. We'll be back.

1:36:13 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me, so what's up?

1:36:16 Caller So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:36:19 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:36:20 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:36:22 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:36:24 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:36:26 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:36:28 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:36:31 Caller Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:36:34 Adam We'll be right back. All right, Undeclared, everybody, that is the show. We should all go out and watch it tomorrow night. Adam Sandler will guest star in it.

1:37:20 Drew Adam Corolla someday. Yeah, yeah, you got to get out of here right now quick.

1:37:26 Adam Yeah, please. It's been a while since we've done something like that.

1:37:29 Drew On TV, yeah, it's true.

1:37:30 Caller We should.

1:37:31 Drew We should.

1:37:32 Guest We're in a fake college, yeah.

1:37:34 Caller Come speak or something.

1:37:35 Adam We do speak at a fair amount of colleges, but you burnt that one up with the Sandler storyline.

1:37:40 Guest We do with the same ones over and over. Oh, okay.

1:37:42 Adam We'll have us back. All right, we will be back tomorrow night, and until next time, is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo? There's still some that needs to be bled out of the system. I know how that goes.

1:37:55 Guest I didn't get to crap on him.

1:37:58 Adam That's right. Oh, well, technically, but just one.

1:38:01 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, November 12, 2001