Episode 1000754886857

1:58 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Our guest tonight is the love that we find between the hosts. Heading in tomorrow morning for a little oral surgery. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

2:22 Drew Well, at least it's nice to know they'll be using the latest techniques.

2:25 Adam That's right, right. There's something called a drill. It's a dental drill.

2:30 Drew Who is it? Do they push on a pedal to get the wheel?

2:33 Adam Yeah. RPM goes up. It's pneumatically powered.

2:37 Drew Oh, pneumatic. I thought it was one that looked like a singer of sewing machines from the turn of the century where they pedal it to get this wheel spinning.

2:44 Adam Well, there was a big stone they would use to spin with the foot, like a potter's wheel from the Aztec culture.

2:51 Drew Sort of a flintstone-esque, yes.

2:53 Adam Right. Now, he'll be drilling into that root canal that he screwed up about three and a half years ago. So I got that to look forward to. He said, and I know we've discussed this before, I don't know why dentists feel the need to do this, and maybe I'm the only one who's experienced this with a dentist, but it still does not seem to be an exact science, this dentistry, because there's always a little room for some interpretation. They hold the x-rays up and they go, well, we got to do something. We could, well, jeez, you got a problem here. It doesn't need to be taken, we should probably take care of it. And I'm always thinking, let it go, let it go, you know. No, we should, we should just go ahead and clean that whole thing up, yeah. We can go in through the gum. And by the way, you know you're in for a bad, bad day at the dentist when the good option, when the option you got your fingers crossed for is going in through the gum.

3:54 Drew Yeah, yeah, that's not good.

3:55 Adam Yeah, like I'm sitting there rubbing my rosary going, Oh, please, please let him go in through the gum. That's going to be good. But then after they lay, after they float that biscuit out there, it's like, no, no, we should probably just go in through the tooth and, well, we're going through the tooth. And it's like, I don't know why, but for some reason I'm now pulling very hard for him to go in through the gum. So that, well, that to look forward to tomorrow. Not only the root canal, but the redoing of the root canal that was re-done three years ago.

4:32 Drew I was in Dennis' chair a couple weeks ago with sensitivity in my tooth. I figured, oh, something's really wrong here. And they go, yeah, oh yeah, it's broken. Lay back, here we go. Like, whoa, I just couldn't even find out what's going on. It's like, oh, no, no, just sit down, relax. Got an hour set aside here, let's go.

4:46 Adam You weren't emotionally prepared, I know.

4:49 Drew I was delighted when it was over, but at first I was horrified.

4:52 Adam And going to the dentist in the morning during the winter months is always a bad idea because the water they spray on your teeth to flush things out is freezing cold groundwater. And as I stated to my dentist, you know, it would be a lot more comfortable if they had something that warmed that water up to like a nice lukewarm temperature before you blast it all over the teeth. And he said, oh, they got those. And I thought, yeah, they got a lot of stuff. Apparently, there's some dentistry catalog that's going around with tons and tons of things that I really think would be a great, considered a breakthrough in comfort and safety. But I don't see anyone buying anything from that catalog.

5:35 Drew I have two conflicting feelings, one of which is predominates here, and that is that your dentist must just love having you as a patient. The other feeling is I feel so goddamn sorry for him.

5:46 Adam Yes, because as you know from us trying to buy a telephone yesterday, Drew, I make everyone feel extra bad about their job.

5:55 Drew Yes, that was good. The guy's giving you a discount, he's walking you through the store, and you yelling at him about his product selection at his own store. Well, Drew, we were at Best Buy, they're taking good care of you, right?

6:06 Adam Well, no, you got the discount. I didn't get the discount. They're taking care of you. Jesus, you should have seen Drew, everybody. We were down at the calendar signing, the K-Rock calendar signing at the Best Buy in Torrance or Hawthorne, or whatever pit they chose for us to go to this year. It was a nice place. Yeah, it's beautiful country out there.

6:26 Drew Hawthorne's pit, Best Buy was nice.

6:28 Adam Yeah, that one block is not a pit. Drew and I both decided we should go, Best Buy is a big consumer electronics store, and Drew decided he was going to go in there, and I was going to go in there, and we got hooked up with the manager somehow.

6:42 Drew Shame.

6:42 Adam And when that manager told Drew that he was in for a little discount, Drew went ballistic. Drew's eyes were spinning around like pinwheels. So me and Drew walked all through the store loading up on stuff, thinking about the discount, and Drew bought his stuff and got rung up and got his discount. But when I was getting my stuff rung up, the manager was showing Drew where the bathroom was. That's what happened, Drew. Right in the middle of this guy ringing me up, and this was a salesman who didn't really know what was going on.

7:12 Drew He was also the guy demanding I buy the service agreement or something. That's more than the discount.

7:17 Adam I'm not interested. I knew I wasn't in for a discount when I handed my guy my credit card. He wanted to see some ID, even though the manager took us over to him and said, hey, these guys, set them up, buff them out.

7:31 Drew He'd asked for my ID right in front of the manager. I figured he was just showing the manager that he was doing his job.

7:35 Adam Point is, is right when this guy's ringing us up, Drew says to the manager who's standing around and about to chime in, theoretically, with the hey, don't forget the discount line, Drew says to the guy, where's the bathroom? Like it was all part of some scam you guys had been working. And the guy's like, oh, here, let me show you. And him and Drew walk to the other side of the store and the guy hits the total button and asks for the credit card. And the stuff's all rung up and totaled out by the time Drew and the manager get back. And then it's too little, too late at that point. So, yeah, so anyway, remind me before the night is over to tell everybody what they need to look for in a portable phone.

8:17 Drew There's three things for tonight's show. Cranberry sauce.

8:20 Adam Oh, we'll get to that later in the week.

8:22 Drew Cranberries later this week. Portable phone.

8:26 Adam Yeah, there's a lot of stuff you should look for.

8:28 Drew We got to talk about this tech TV thing that I'm going to try to get you set up on.

8:30 Adam All right. That's all. Good time. So it's a very tech-oriented show tonight.

8:35 Drew Yeah.

8:36 Adam Man show is on tonight. I'd be remiss if I didn't bring that up. Also-

8:41 Best show on television, The Man Show.

8:43 Adam I'd love that, Jesse.

8:44 Drew Also.

8:45 Adam Well, I was watching something about airport security tonight on 60 Minutes again. Here's something I can't figure out, and maybe someone can give us this answer, and maybe Drew knows the answer, although I doubt it. Go ahead.

8:58 Drew Yeah.

9:00 Adam There's all this, it's been two months since the tragedy. And apparently, the airport security's not a whole lot tougher than it was before. And I flew on Saturday, and it's the same third-world guy standing around with their head spinning around in the fifth-grade education from countries you've never heard of, making seven bucks an hour checking you out. And the same, it's always the same answer. Well, we can fix anything we want with money. These guys are getting seven dollars an hour. What do you expect? And they tell you all the time, the security companies, their main industry that competes with them is fast food. I mean, that is the pool that they're drawing from. If these people did not work airport security, a lot of them would work at Burger King. Fine. So what's the solution? Well, the solution is instead of $7.50 an hour, we got to give these people $14 an hour and make it into a little bit of a career. Give them a little dental plan and a little health plan and give them a couple weeks paid vacation every year and turn it into a career. But everything is like, well, we don't have the money for that. But here's what I can't understand. I just flew to Vegas on Friday. There was 120 people on the plane each way. Those 120 people went through that airport security section. 15 or 20 minutes, everyone. You know, over the course of 45 minutes, 2, 3, 400 people filed through there. If my ticket to Vegas round trip on Southwest, if it was 179 bucks, why not make it 185 bucks and cover the security?

10:41 Drew Like tax it?

10:44 Adam Is there a human being alive who, if you said, your round trip flight from LA to New York, instead of being $413, is now $417, who would be outraged and say, I'm taking a bus?

10:58 Drew Yeah.

11:00 Adam And if you're talking about 2, 3, 400 people on that airplane going to New York times $3 a person, isn't that an extra, you know, 800 bucks for just that one plane?

11:14 Drew Tax, yeah. It's a tax. That'd be reasonable, a user's tax.

11:17 Adam It didn't have to be a user's tax. Just kick it up. Do you know what I mean?

11:22 Drew If the federal government gets involved, believe me, that's what's gonna happen. It's gonna be something like that. Why not have a private industry in getting it?

11:28 Adam But this is the cost of doing business.

11:30 Drew Yeah, that's right.

11:30 Adam I mean, you stop 1,000 travelers and ask 1,000 people, hey, you mind paying an extra $3 a flight for some professional security?

11:38 Drew Yep.

11:39 Adam What are the 1,000 people gonna say? So anyway, so my point is, where's the problem then?

11:45 Drew Yeah. Why aren't they doing that?

11:47 Adam Yeah. Instead of the Southwest flight being 118, make it 122 and let's move on.

11:51 Drew The other thing you probably don't have to deal with is that they have random checks now. The airlines have random security checks. My wife and I had the privilege of being one of the random selectees.

11:58 Adam Yeah. Well, yeah, sorry.

12:00 Drew Well, first of all, it's like a cavity search. I mean, they really go ahead. They put gloves on immediately. That's right. They're strapped, slapping gloves on as you walk up. Then, holy Christ, what's going on here?

12:10 Adam Go after the rich blonde chicks who are traveling with the doctors. That's what we need to do.

12:15 Drew Then, watch the terrorist get on the plane, which is what I did.

12:19 Adam Well, I stood there, and I got singled out of line, too, and had to stand on the little pad with the little footprints in it. I know this is different, but while they ran the wand over me, and okay, I'm a 190-pound guy, but next to me was a Sandy Duncan, essentially. I was a 57-year-old woman with short red hair who went about 103 pounds and had 60 of those pounds with those big mom glasses. She's got her purse with the embroidery stuff in it, and I'm thinking, you really, we really got to put the wand over this post-menopausal chick with the red hair who I could take out, you know, with a good fart. You know what I mean? I know we're supposed to check everybody, but is this really good security to single Sandy Duncan? Yeah, I'll put it this way.

13:12 Drew Peter Pan is being checked.

13:14 Adam Let's put it this way. When white, red haired women in their mid 50s, and here's the deal I'll cut with all security, the second they do one crime, we can start saying, but let's let them at least make their move. Let them do something first. One thing, one car bomb, something, some sarin gas, something. Yeah. Do we really need to pull that chick out? I know it's supposed to be random, but what message does that send to the bad guys? Don't worry, you'll slide in because my mom is going to have this wand put up her ass and you'll just slide right on past. That doesn't sound like a great plan. I know we don't want to profile, but shouldn't we profile? Isn't that what we're doing here?

13:59 Drew Don't the passengers flying the plane want that?

14:02 Adam No, we're worried about the 108-pound chick with the big glasses.

14:06 Drew No, but the point is you interview everyone on the plane. Even people that fit profiles. Because I was happy to be of search, no problem. But I didn't want my search to go unnecessarily at the expense of the guy they should be searching.

14:19 Adam You don't want any guys from Basic Cable being searched when there's legitimate threats that could possibly be around. Let's help the kiddies.

14:28 Drew All right, here we go.

14:29 Adam Bill?

14:30 Drew We haven't talked together in three or four days. Bill, you're 30.

14:33 Adam What's Bill?

14:34 Drew You're gay. Bill's 33.

14:35 Adam Lower that screen, which I can't see it. Thank you.

14:37 How are you guys doing this evening?

14:39 Adam Good, Bill.

14:39 I have a great deal of respect for you.

14:41 My question is, I've got near the crack of my butt, near the top, there's a hole about the size of a pimple, and it's got white or clear liquid coming out of it. And I was just wondering if you could help me with that, with what it is.

14:55 Drew And it's called a pilonidal cyst.

14:57 Pilonidal.

14:58 Drew They're very common.

14:59 Adam Can they be removed?

15:00 Drew They need to be removed because they can be a big mess. The sinus tract can really erode way back into your sacrum there.

15:06 Adam What do you mean, the sinus tract?

15:08 Drew It's a little hole, sinus meaning hole or cave, just going, sinus means hole, holes in your head.

15:13 Adam Okay.

15:13 It's been for several years. Is there a possibility of it getting into my nervous system and actually doing damage?

15:19 Drew I mean, they can get a bad infection. They can get a staph or a strep, and even anaerobes can get going. But what they do is they either stick something down the sinus and open the whole thing up, or they actually cut the whole area out, and they really let it, they actually don't even sew it up. They let it close from the bottom up.

15:34 Like a wick or something?

15:36 Drew It's a little more involved than that. Basically that's it. But you gotta get that done, Bill. It can be really hard to answer. Why does that happen there? Probably, nobody knows for sure. Some people believe it's a genetic thing. But pilonidal means nest of hair.

15:48 Adam Oh.

15:49 Drew Yeah, isn't that nice? And it's where your cheeks kind of fold together, and hair they think, their bacteria can kind of erode in there in people who are predisposed.

15:56 Adam Oh, yeah.

15:57 Drew I had one of those.

15:58 Adam You did?

15:59 Drew Yeah, when I was like 19.

16:00 Adam Good touch. You don't have a nest of hair back there.

16:04 Drew No, I'm, yeah, but maybe something was accumulating, see.

16:09 Adam What was accumulating there?

16:10 Drew Like hair, like debris.

16:13 Adam Debris.

16:13 Drew Is that what I'm saying?

16:14 Adam Right. Nice. Nice thought, huh? It's a nice thought for the guys giving you the cavity check at the airport. Ben?

16:23 Yeah.

16:23 Adam You're 15?

16:24 Caller Yeah. I've been going out with this girl for two years. And I talk to her and see her mostly every day. And we just broke up. And I want to know if, rather, I love her or is it just that I miss her?

16:38 Drew You're gay. Well, you know, you love her as much as a 15-year-old can. But this breakup is something that is inevitable. It must happen. And the feelings you have are awful. But they're important. You need to kind of go through them. And don't keep going back and trying to re-hook up this relationship. Reestablish this relationship. Let it go.

16:59 Adam Did she dump you?

17:01 Caller No, that's because the problem is that I, like, do a lot of bad stuff. Not like cheating, but, like, she told me not to do stuff. And I go ahead and do them.

17:09 Drew Like what?

17:10 Caller And I don't know, because there's something about it. Like what? Like about something about my hair. She says, if you do that, I'm going to be mad at you. And I go ahead and do them. Or, you know, I go ahead and break the rules. And she gets mad because she has to follow my rules.

17:24 Drew Well, maybe you'll learn something about relationships, Ben. And that is there's something called mutuality, is that you have to respect the other person's feelings. You have to pay attention to them. And you have to sort of have a little give and take. You can't just go on about your business as though the other person's feelings don't count, because they will leave.

17:37 Adam Well, I tell you, that hair story really sort of chills down my spine. I've never, as anything more, been more graphically illustrated, is why they've broken up.

17:49 Caller Well, it was not that. It's just that I don't follow her things that she does, and she doesn't have to follow my things, but I get really mad.

17:56 Adam Yeah. All right. Hey Ben, as much as you miss her, and as much as you feel like you want to be with her, it's probably best that you just use this experience and move on. Look at it as a little opportunity to reflect on yourself, and think about those things that you did, that you could have done, not to get her back, but just improve for your next relationship.

18:21 Caller But how about if I do want to get her back? Because I'm really into her, and the whole thing is-

18:25 Drew No, Ben.

18:26 Adam If you're really into her, you wouldn't have kept doing things that pissed her off.

18:29 Drew That's right. This is a learning lesson. This is the way relationships are supposed to go at your age anyway. So let it go, especially if you're not ready to change a lot.

18:37 Adam I hear trouble.

18:38 Drew Yeah. In band.

18:40 Adam Are you doing all right? I see you costing me money down the road somehow, whether it be through incarceration, or rehab, or parole officers. What are you up to at 15?

18:51 Caller Well, I might just have a band, but that's all I do.

18:55 Adam You got a band. But are you getting into drugs?

18:58 Caller No, I just drink a couple of times.

19:01 Adam Okay. Listen, take it easy. Do good in school, go off to college somewhere, work on your music, all that good stuff. Don't hurt anybody. I don't know what that syndrome is. I did it for my first 10 girlfriends, which is you basically antagonize them to the point where they break up with you, and then you need them back. You know what I mean? It doesn't make sense. You don't do it in any other facet of life. It's like having a job, saying you hate it, bugging your boss and antagonizing your boss until he finally fires you.

19:37 Drew Intentionally effing up at the job.

19:40 Adam Yeah.

19:41 Drew Not just antagonizing your boss, but truly effing up the job until they fire you.

19:45 Adam All right. Screwing up and then begging for your job back. Right. Then screwing it up again and then begging for your job back again. I don't know what other facet of life you do that in.

20:00 Drew None.

20:01 Adam Because when you hate your job, you hate your job and you get fired, it's the best day of your life.

20:05 Drew Yeah. You leave before you get fired.

20:07 Adam Right. This is something that young men do in relationships. Kelly?

20:11 Guest Yeah.

20:12 Adam You're 18?

20:13 Guest Yes.

20:13 Adam What's up?

20:14 Guest Okay. Well, when I was a freshman, I was probably like 15.

20:18 I did a lot of drugs, mainly just weed and speed and that lasted for the whole three-year span until six months ago. It was an everyday thing and now I have really bad mood swings. I was just wondering if there's anything that I could do to control that.

20:35 Drew How much speed were you doing?

20:39 Guest At least a little, well, I don't know.

20:42 We do like an eight ball in the bathroom like almost every day.

20:45 Drew You'd snort it?

20:46 No, sometimes.

20:48 Drew You smoke it? Yeah.

20:49 Adam You do an eight ball in the bathroom every day?

20:52 Well, it was me and like four other people.

20:54 Drew Are you having any memory problems?

20:55 Adam Do all you have to go in the bathroom, by the way, if you're the only ones there?

20:59 Do what?

21:00 Adam I mean, couldn't you have?

21:00 Go to that school.

21:01 Adam No, it's funny, when you do coke, even when you live alone, you go into the bathroom and do coke.

21:06 Drew By yourself.

21:07 Adam Right, right. You can't sit in your living room and do coke. What's that?

21:12 I think a lot of people think it's a safety thing.

21:15 Drew Whatever.

21:15 Thanks, yeah.

21:16 Drew Well, the profile, the behavior from cocaine, for whatever reason, makes people isolate by themselves. They close the window, shut the drapes. Speed is not that way.

21:24 Adam Well, I'll tell you what the profile is, or at least was back in the early 80s, mid-80s, 110 bucks a gram. You don't want your fat buddy Lou coming by and going, give me your line, you know? I don't know.

21:39 Drew So, Kelly, are you having any memory problems?

21:43 Guest Yeah.

21:44 Drew Do you have trouble learning and remembering things, that sort of thing?

21:47 Actually, no.

21:47 Guest I do fine in learning.

21:48 It's just remembering things from my daily life.

21:51 Drew And how long have you been off the pod for?

21:53 What now?

21:54 Drew How long have you been off the pod for?

21:55 Six months.

21:56 Drew And what was the thing you have trouble remembering?

21:58 No, it's not that I have trouble remembering things. Well, I do, like in my daily life. Like, I couldn't tell you what I ate for supper last night.

22:04 Drew How about before you can't find your car keys?

22:07 Yeah. Just little stuff like that. But my question was that, I mean, I have really bad mood swings. And I had them before, of course.

22:14 Drew All right. But just let me finish assessing what's going on here. Are you in recovery?

22:20 No, I just kind of quit it all cold turkey and I never touched it again.

22:23 Drew If you don't get involved in some kind of program of recovery, you are bound to have various mood disturbances. You've got to replace that with something. Whatever it was that was motivating your use in the field in the first place to feel better, is now much worse because of what's happened to your brain from the drug use. What maybe has gone on in the meantime, what you've left undeveloped, all that accumulates and you really need to replace the drugs with something or else you're going to get depressed and anxious and be really have difficulty. On top of that, speed typically causes memory problems and depression. So does pot. So you're really set up to be depressed and to have mood swings and if you don't do something to manage that, nine times out of ten, you go back to drugs.

23:03 Yeah. Well, what do you suggest?

23:04 Drew I suggest you talk to a doctor who has experience with treating addiction, a psychiatrist or an internist who has that training. Call a recovery program, call AA, call NA, call some, there's lots of resources in your community you can get in touch with. There are tons of people with your history at NA, MA, give them a call.

23:23 Adam Call a local. She's in Texas, they got a ton of that over there. Right? Yeah. For most all these numbers we give you, you can just open the phone book, right?

23:34 Drew You can open the phone book, call Info Line, every community has an Info Line, ask for AA locally or NA locally. The phone book has AA. And again, any hospital would have an addiction recovery program, call them, talk to the doctors that run that.

23:46 Adam Good times.

23:49 Drew You're inspired tonight, Adam, inspired.

23:51 Adam You know, they didn't, they weren't serving peanuts on my plane on the flight home from Vegas.

23:55 Drew Yesterday?

23:56 Adam Yeah, because somebody called up and said they were allergic to peanuts.

23:59 Drew Right, they don't do that anymore.

24:01 Adam No, Southwest does peanuts.

24:03 Drew Oh.

24:03 Adam I got myself two packs on the way out. But on the way back, somebody was flying and said they're allergic. I wanted to kill that AMFer. I was like.

24:11 Drew Did you find him?

24:12 Adam No, how the hell do I know he's allergic to peanuts? But I'll tell you, when I'm in charge, there will be random checks for that kind of thing.

24:19 Drew Grab the phone and say, excuse me, I'd like to speak to whomever it was.

24:22 Adam Can't they wear a mask for that?

24:25 Drew Yeah.

24:25 Adam Why do I hate all people that are allergic to stuff?

24:27 Drew Wait a minute. They can not eat the peanuts.

24:30 Adam Yeah, but it gets in the air.

24:31 Drew No.

24:32 Adam I know. That's okay. This is good. Now I'm fired up. We're going to take a break and then I'm going to come back. I'm going to yell about peanuts.

24:40 All right.

24:42 Adam Okay.

24:42 I know you want these nuts.

24:44 Adam And we'll be back.

24:48 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

25:22 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Cast of Undeclared in here tomorrow night.

25:32 Chicken and a bugger and a bobbing and a jack-o-m-bobbing and a jack-o-m-bobbing and a bobbing and a bobbing.

25:36 Adam Oh, wait, it didn't go yet. Yeah, that's right. Cast of Undeclared in here tomorrow night. The podcast is declared in here tomorrow night, and oh my god, Tori Amos is coming in here.

26:02 Caller Yeah, we haven't seen her in a while.

26:04 Adam Someone got raped, and now... Why is she in here again?

26:08 She's gonna bug her, bug her, she's gonna bug her, bug her, bug her, she's gonna bug, bug her, bug, ahhhh!

26:14 Drew What was the word that... We were listening to them playing while we were signing those calendars. There was some word they were saying. Remember?

26:19 Adam I don't know.

26:20 What was the word?

26:21 Adam I don't know.

26:22 Drew Oh, damn.

26:23 Adam Okay. All right. Let's hop back on these phones here and help the kiddies. Remember to talk to everyone about peanuts and portable phones.

26:33 Drew Let's listen.

26:34 Mugga, Mugga, Mugga.

26:34 Drew That's what it was.

26:35 Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga, Mugga. Yeah.

26:43 Drew Yeah, Mugga. Mugga.

26:45 Adam What are they saying?

26:46 Drew Anderson keeps saying Pogo.

26:47 Adam It's called Pogo. Pogo.

26:49 Drew Yeah, it's Mugga.

26:50 Adam Mugga is what, you know, Mugga coincidentally is what we would always do when we were like doing like extras in a movie.

26:57 Drew Yeah.

26:57 Adam You know, when the, not, not Harrison Ford and his wife, but the couple sitting behind them or chatting. We would always put them.

27:06 Drew When you were an extra.

27:07 Adam No, not when I was an extra. When I would watch a movie with one of my friends. The line was always Mugga to Mugga. Mugga, Mugga, Mugga.

27:13 Drew They actually, they call that Wah Wah.

27:14 Adam Oh, is that Wah Wah?

27:15 Drew They actually call it that, yeah.

27:16 Adam Wah Wah, Wah Wah. Yeah. We call it Mugga Mugga. But, you know, East Coast probably. All right, where are we here, Drew?

27:23 Drew Going to.

27:24 Adam Dawn?

27:24 Yes.

27:25 Adam You're 24.

27:27 Caller Yes, I am.

27:27 Adam What's up?

27:28 Caller Well, I was talking to my boyfriend today, and it turns out that he has a fever blister on his lip, and it's herpes.

27:37 Drew As most fever blisters are.

27:38 Caller Right. And I'm wondering, you know, how contagious is that? How concerned should I be?

27:42 Drew It's very contagious.

27:43 Caller Okay.

27:44 Drew So, what's like, like any other cold sore?

27:48 Caller Okay.

27:49 Drew You know, it's strange, I saw a huge outbreak of shingles last week. Very strange. I wonder, anyway, and so can it be what, transmitted?

27:56 Caller I mean, can it be transmitted? Can it convert to like, genital herpes?

27:59 Drew If he were to kiss you in that region, yes, absolutely.

28:02 Caller Okay, how concerned should I be? I mean, just like, stay clear of him, or?

28:05 Drew Stay clear of his mouth until the thing is healed.

28:09 Caller Okay.

28:10 Drew Okay, now whether or not he can get you down there, transmit something down there, or later, yeah, he could, even when there's not a sore present, he could occasionally be secreting virus that could transmit something, but...

28:20 Caller When there's like no symptom at all?

28:21 Drew It's a possibility, but that's such a common virus on the mouth that you'd have to basically cut yourself off completely from anybody getting down there, right? Because it's a common thing, and it happens. It happens that that transmits herpes.

28:34 Caller Okay. I mean, I guess one of my concerns is apparently chicken pox and Epstein Barr are also part of the herpes virus.

28:41 Drew Right, but that's like saying strap and staff are gram-positive bacteria. Therefore, they're in the same family, but they're completely different pathogens, completely different illnesses.

28:52 Adam Listen, nobody gets it. Only crazy people on disability get the Epstein Barr anyway.

28:58 Caller Well, I guess I've had some problems with chicken pox in the past where I can't develop an immunity to it, and I'm wondering if I would be more susceptible.

29:06 Drew What do you mean you can't?

29:08 Caller I started working in the hospital, and one of the things is that they go through and do a test to see what you have a natural immunity to, and chicken pox is one of them. When they tested it, I didn't have any kind of resistance to the chicken pox.

29:18 Drew No, that means you had it?

29:20 Caller Yeah, I've had it.

29:21 Drew Well, that antibody can die out in time. People can get chicken pox again later. That has nothing to do with herpes.

29:30 Caller Okay, so it's not like I'd have some really gross outbreak then?

29:33 Drew No.

29:33 Caller Okay.

29:35 Drew Good luck.

29:35 Caller All right, thanks a lot.

29:36 Adam Good times.

29:37 Caller All right. Bye-bye.

29:39 Adam All right. I want to talk to John. He said that shy bladder has been on hold for almost an hour. Get rid of him.

29:47 John? Thanks for taking my call.

29:49 Adam Sure there, buddy. Drew didn't want to take it.

29:52 Drew No, I was working on both of them.

29:53 Adam No, no. Look at this. Hey, hey.

29:55 Drew Both 50 minutes.

29:56 Adam John, 52 and a half. Sorry. Go ahead, Johnny.

29:59 Okay. Well, I have an extremely shy bladder. And I was just wondering if...

30:05 Drew You want the little Cosby kids? Shy bladder?

30:09 Adam I'll be you by shy-bub-bub-bub-bub. All right. You can't...

30:13 I was just wondering if Dr. Drew knew of any medications that could help alleviate this type of problem.

30:19 Adam Wait, you can't pee?

30:20 Drew You can't pee in public, right?

30:22 Yeah, yeah. Whenever there's people around, I can't.

30:25 Drew Yeah, I don't... There are things that can sort of reduce the smooth muscle tension in that area, but I don't know that anyone would give you that just because of an emotional thing, a behavioral thing.

30:36 Adam You got to get over yourself. That's all.

30:38 Drew Well...

30:39 Adam You start off with public parks and work your way up to, like, you know, football stadiums.

30:44 Drew Strangely, there probably are behavioral interventions like that, that indeed, rather see you do than take a little bit too much mediation.

30:51 Adam Well, John, first off, you're speaking to the king.

30:54 I know, I know. I've heard about you. You're like a, you're like legendary.

30:58 Adam Yeah, I'm a guy...

31:00 I'm the polar opposite.

31:01 Adam I'm a guy who urinated on a guy's wallet during a taping of The Man Show with about 400 people looking at me while I turned my back to them and on cue whizzed all over a guy's wallet.

31:12 Drew And yet, when I pee next to you, you kind of shake. You kind of get that, ooh.

31:15 Adam I'm trying to spray you with urine.

31:17 Drew No, no. You get that, that.

31:18 Adam I get that.

31:19 Drew Yeah.

31:20 Adam Yeah. I only do that at night. I just shut up.

31:24 Drew I'm just saying you're not as bold as you say.

31:26 Adam How dare you not say my bladder is bold. Anyway, listen to me.

31:31 Drew It is grann.

31:33 Adam Thank you.

31:34 And beautiful.

31:35 Adam Thank you. He was talking about churros. So, John, here's what you need to do. You need to start using public bathrooms when there's nobody else in them. Do you understand me?

31:50 Caller Yeah, well, I'm in a support group and everything.

31:53 Look, you're in a support group?

31:54 Adam No, he's not in a support group.

31:55 Caller No, no, no, I am. I mean, we meet at airports.

31:58 Adam No, he doesn't. It's bogus.

32:01 Caller Yeah. I'm serious.

32:02 Adam You do not meet at a support group to urinate in public, and the group meets at airports.

32:08 Caller Yeah, yeah. I mean, we don't meet at airports now because...

32:12 Adam There's no way.

32:13 Drew Who knows? I'm interested in listening.

32:15 Adam What support group?

32:15 Drew I've never heard of such a group.

32:16 Adam You can't meet at airports. All right. Now, you're so lucky.

32:21 Drew Aren't you fascinated?

32:21 Adam Yes.

32:21 Caller There's not a lot of knowledge in the medical community about it because there's not very many men that have this problem.

32:26 Adam Well, first off, who cares for the most part?

32:29 Caller I do. I mean, it's the worst thing.

32:33 Adam Listen to me. Do you have a park near your house?

32:36 Caller Yeah.

32:37 Adam All right. Can you go in and use that public bathroom?

32:40 Caller Yeah.

32:40 Adam Well, how can you do that with a shy bladder?

32:43 Caller I mean, I can go in there, but if there's other people, I can't. I mean, it's impossible.

32:49 Drew Even if you're shut in a stall?

32:51 Caller Well, yeah. I mean, I can do that occasionally.

32:54 Drew You're in a stall and you're okay?

32:56 Caller Yeah, occasionally. All right.

32:57 Adam Let me float this theory, Drew.

32:59 Drew But every bathroom has a stall. Who cares?

33:00 Adam If what John's saying is true, and I'm by the way the guy who uses the sink, so but if what John says is true and you're saying, I don't want you on medication just for this problem, but what do you mean just for this problem? This guy's nuts. John, you got serious problems.

33:16 Drew Well, are you on medication?

33:17 Adam It's not limited just to the bathroom.

33:18 Caller No, no. It is.

33:20 Adam No, no way.

33:21 Drew Are you on medication, John?

33:24 Caller No, I'm not.

33:24 Drew No medicines? Nothing?

33:26 Caller No.

33:27 Adam Okay, hold on a second. If this guy, and he's full of crap, but if anyone listening is doing this, including John, attending meetings for support group about not being able to urinate.

33:41 Drew That's what's great.

33:42 Adam Public bathrooms.

33:43 Drew Yeah.

33:43 Adam You need to be on some medication.

33:48 Drew Or just a hobby. Some other way to be black and white.

33:50 Adam You need an outlet. Yeah. John?

33:53 Caller I can't believe you guys.

33:55 Adam Now you're full of crap, but I can't believe.

33:57 Caller No, no. I mean, I got some information off Dr. Drew's website.

34:02 Adam All right. Go ahead. Go, baby. Just give us the punchline and let's go. Let him give the punchline.

34:08 Drew Well, I'm just going to say that I deal with this all the time in people that need to give urine tests at the drug unit. And this happens pretty frequently. And it's something you learn to deal with. There's only one patient we've actually had a problem with.

34:20 Adam John, give the punchline and let's go.

34:22 Caller I can't believe you're not giving me any type of respect.

34:27 Adam Go ahead.

34:27 Caller This is a serious problem. There's just not that many people that have it.

34:31 Adam Okay, but why is it so serious?

34:33 Caller I just, you know, I can't go out socially very much.

34:38 Drew But that's a different issue. That's part of a more global social phobia problem.

34:40 Adam Yeah, that has nothing to do with urine. That has to do with your emotional state.

34:44 Caller No, no, because, I mean, I could be at some place and then drink a lot of, like, just beer or whatever.

34:50 Drew Okay, well, don't drink when you go out. That would help with that.

34:53 Caller I know, but what am I gonna do then?

34:54 Drew And then go to and be at a place that has stalls.

34:57 Adam Hold on, you got a nice beer buzz going and you can't take a leak in a stall with a closed door?

35:02 Caller That's the worst part about it.

35:03 Adam You said you could do it in a stall with a closed door sometimes.

35:07 Caller Yeah, sometimes, but you can't count on it.

35:09 Adam All right, you gotta get some therapy then, buddy. Okay, but listen, here's what I want you to do, John, please. I want everyone to do this, including myself, although I'm not going to do it. Whatever problem you have that you think is a local problem, make it a global problem.

35:26 Drew Consider it a symptom of something larger.

35:28 Adam That's right. If John, if you think your only problem is you cannot urinate in public spaces, you're way, way off.

35:36 Drew And it's not that we're not taking your problem seriously or that we're not considering it, it's that-

35:43 Adam No, we're doing one better. I'm taking it very seriously. I'm taking it, I'm turning it into a bigger problem.

35:49 Drew Right. That's how serious I am. There's more than you perceive it to be.

35:51 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. I mean, if what you're saying is true, there's an emotional problem here that needs to be dealt with.

35:58 Drew Even the people that I deal with frequently, they have the shy bladder, they're not restrained socially. You know what I'm saying? That's not, you know what I'm saying? I'm dealing with that fairly frequently in patients. Now, eight times out of ten, they're saying they have a shy bladder, so they don't get the drug test because they've been using drugs. But that 20% that really does have it, still doesn't restrict their social life very much.

36:17 Adam James?

36:19 Yes?

36:19 Adam Oh, we should go into self-help groups at airports. James, what's up? You're 19.

36:26 Caller I have a girlfriend, and she wants me to move up to Illinois with her and have her grandparents buy an apartment or rent an apartment for us. And totally, I'm believing that her grandparents are going to be in total control. She keeps saying, no, no, no, they're not. They're nice people. But every time I hear about her grandparents, they're always trying to govern her. And I just have a problem with going up to Illinois being governed by my grandparents. But I really love this girl. I have a son with her.

36:58 Drew Oh, boy. Now, where is she now?

37:03 Illinois, man.

37:04 Drew Is she in Illinois now? Or is she in Orlando with you?

37:06 Caller Orlando with me.

37:08 Drew And how are you guys supporting each other?

37:11 Caller I work security and she's a medical assistant.

37:13 Drew So why would you even want to move up to Illinois?

37:16 Caller I don't.

37:17 Drew Why does she?

37:19 Caller To be in contact with her grandparents, her grandmother.

37:23 Drew Did her grandparents raise her?

37:27 Caller Kind of when she was younger, yeah. And they also paid for her. I mean, they bought her a car.

37:32 Drew So she just wants to be back with her family, is that right? I mean, on the surface, that's what it is. And what you're seeing underneath that is they use money and things as a way of controlling her.

37:41 Adam Well, listen, a winter in Orlando, winter in Chicago are the same, you know, it's a coin toss.

37:49 Guest Orlando, Florida.

37:50 Drew Plus you have to leave your job, get a new work. And I understand, I don't understand why she would be so hell bent on that. You're gonna have to talk with her much more about her reasons, because it just doesn't seem like there's enough here to warrant a big move.

38:05 Adam Well, what do you think about where in Illinois?

38:11 Caller I'm not quite sure really. I don't know where her grandparents are located, near Chicago somewhere.

38:16 Adam All right. Well, these are questions to ask.

38:19 Drew Yeah.

38:19 Adam Because there's differences, you know. I mean, maybe you want to go to Chicago. Do you have any desire to go to Chicago?

38:27 Caller No, I have none. I just want to stay in Orlando.

38:28 Adam All right. Well, then don't go.

38:30 Drew Right.

38:31 Caller Another question was, she's also like a big hypochondriac. How do I fix that? Since she's a medical assistant, she knows all the stuff.

38:41 Drew Yeah. That's the kind of person gets attracted to those kinds of jobs, and it's not good.

38:45 Adam How old is she?

38:47 Caller 19.

38:49 Drew Well, here's what she-

38:50 Adam It's just let her take the kid and move to Chicago. Right it off.

38:54 Drew There's different ways of approaching that. One is to get her a mental health professional to make sure that's being managed and looked at to see if those physical preoccupations aren't part of a more, as Adam would say, global problem. If it is just a physical preoccupation, some people advocate regular visits with a doctor like once a month, go in their letter and load on him or her and then just-

39:15 Caller Well, what about when she- Can she also tell everybody our son's sick, like constantly?

39:20 Drew That's bad. That is-

39:23 Adam Well, they call that Munchausen's by proxy.

39:25 Drew That's what they call it, Adam.

39:26 Adam Very good.

39:28 Drew That is a dangerous precedent for your child. That is a serious mental health problem.

39:32 Caller She decides when she works at a pediatric office, she can take them whenever she wants.

39:38 Drew No. You need to get a therapist for her.

39:40 Adam Hey, James?

39:42 Caller Yeah.

39:42 Adam I know you're 19. By the way, this is a great testimonial for not having kids at 19 because you don't know what the F is going on with anything. You don't know where Chicago is, you don't know anything about your girlfriend and her hypochondria, it's all a mess. This is why you can't have kids at 19. But you have a kid, and here's what you got to do now, James, you got to grow up real fast. You got to start calling the shots and being a man. You got to go, look, you're going to screw this kid up worse than you're screwed up. People hate that, by the way. But that's the truth. I don't think going to Chicago would be a great thing for the kid or her, for that matter, because Lord knows her grandparents are probably a piece of work, and that's the reason why she's a piece of work with the hypochondria. Plus, she's considering this move in November.

40:25 Drew Yeah, good times.

40:26 Adam You need to tell her, look, it is one big frozen block of, it's like somebody pumped liquid nitrogen into that state of Illinois for the next five months. Let's do this, baby. Let's just, let's sleep on it, let's hibernate on it through the winter, and then in, you know, February, March, we'll start having, we'll start talking, when the frost melts, then we'll just, we'll start talking about it.

40:51 Drew Maybe.

40:52 Adam Maybe. Right. Okay. We'll take ourselves a little break. Hey, Drew, when you were at the Best Buy yesterday, did some 16-year-old chick come up to you and start talking to you about what an asshole I was?

41:04 Drew Yes, she did. Yes, she did. She scared me.

41:07 Adam Oh, she did?

41:08 Drew Yeah.

41:08 Adam What did she say?

41:09 Drew First of all, she was very upset, and I don't know what she'd said to her. She walked away yelling.

41:13 Adam Oh, she did?

41:13 You're an asshole.

41:15 Adam Some 16-year-old chick came up to me and said, and I got this great policy for anyone who screws with me, by the way. But she said, I was looking at phones that I wasn't satisfied with, and she said, are you an asshole in real life too? She was like a 16-year-old girl, and I just looked at her and I said, beat it. Beat it is one of the greatest things you can say to somebody, but you can't say anything else. You can't say like beat it now or know I'm not and beat it. You just got to look at him and go, beat it. And it scares him every time. So I scared her and I guess she went and talked to you and then I lost track of her.

41:58 Drew She looked like she was getting ready to get like, start throwing stuff.

42:00 Adam Oh, okay. She got angry. Fine. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be right back.

42:06 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:43 Adam Well, what time is it, Drew?

42:46 Drew It's 10 minutes and 20 seconds before the top of the hour.

42:48 Adam All right. So that means it's going to be 11 hours and 10 minutes until my oral surgery begins tomorrow. So we'll start that countdown.

42:57 Drew Oh, you should be delightful tomorrow night.

43:00 Guest Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

43:02 Drew Class of undeclared in here tomorrow night. Rebecca.

43:05 Adam Listen, I just hope I don't freak out with that ether, with the nitrous. I start going a little crazy with that stuff. That's good.

43:11 Drew Rebecca's 23.

43:13 Hi. I'm having problems. I guess I'm on medication for depression and now I'm having problems with my lover. I'm having problems.

43:26 Adam Your lover. Are you gay?

43:28 Guest No.

43:29 Adam What heterosexual person calls their partner their lover?

43:33 Drew The one that's not in a relationship but has just a little-

43:36 Adam Oh, you're just having sex?

43:37 Drew Friend would benefit thing.

43:38 Guest Wow.

43:39 Drew Is it okay to be in love to a guy twice my age? My lover likes me a lot but sometimes I'm scared because he is very active. He gives me oral sex. I just give him the hand.

43:49 Adam Well, apparently someone else uses the lover too. Rebecca?

43:53 Yeah.

43:55 Drew So what medication you want?

43:58 I'm on Trazodone and Paxil.

44:01 Drew Well, Paxil is the one that will shut off your sex drive.

44:05 And that Trazodone stuff, I just started taking it and it's been making me sick.

44:09 Drew Nauseated?

44:11 What's that?

44:11 Drew Nauseated?

44:13 Yeah. I got sick. It came out. Whatever I had for dinner.

44:19 Drew That's a pretty unusual side effect from Trazodone. Paxil is a weak antidepressant. It's mostly used for sleep. Yeah. Lightweight. Paxil is your serotonin reuptake inhibitor and that will decrease your ability to have an orgasm, decrease your sex drive. It can be quite a mess. So, Rebecca, you might talk to your doctor about switching to Serizone which works for sleep. It's also a serotonin drug, a little slightly different mechanism of action, and it doesn't cause the sexual dysfunction. Other choices will be Remron, also good for sleep, doesn't cause the sexual side effects, and then thirdly, Bulbutrin.

44:50 Adam All right. So go back to the psychiatrist and see if you can tweak it until it works for you. Troy?

44:58 Yeah.

44:58 Adam Seventeen?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

45:00 Adam Bisexual?

45:01 Caller Yeah.

45:01 Adam Raised to be the ultimate gentleman?

45:03 Yeah.

45:04 Adam Obsessed with sex?

45:05 Yes.

45:06 Adam That's what it says on the screen.

45:08 Drew Explain.

45:09 Adam What?

45:10 Drew Explain.

45:12 Well, my parents always wanted me to see I have two older brothers and my parents really didn't do well because they're younger when they had them. And then I came along like five years after my next oldest brother, and they wanted to fix things with me so I wouldn't end up like this. They raised me to be the ultimate gentleman. I guess it took better than I thought because to the point...

45:32 Adam Where you started to like gentlemen?

45:35 Well that and the fact that I can't walk up to a girl and touch her. If she offers her hand, I'm actually the guy who will take the hand and kiss the back of it.

45:46 Adam I see.

45:47 And with guys, I don't even stand around them, but if one offers me his hand, I'll shake it, whatever, but I won't initiate any kind of physical contact because it's just not becoming.

45:58 Drew Yeah. It's not that your parents raised to be a gentleman, is that they were just all over you. Yeah. And they were intruding in every aspect of your life.

46:08 Adam Let me tell you part of being bi's, you got to blow guys. We talk about having a tough time shaking hands. Where do you get the penis in the mouth?

46:17 Well, that's part of the problem.

46:20 Adam I'm not even used to that.

46:22 Adam I'm 37. Yeah. Well, it's coming around. Yeah. It's coming around.

46:25 That's part of the problem. I have the want to do that, but then there's the, pardon me, that's not...

46:32 Drew The will to blow.

46:33 Adam Sure. The spirit is willing, but the mouth is weak.

46:39 Basically.

46:41 Drew I want to talk more to Troy. Let's go to Bragg.

46:43 Adam Hold on. The spirit is willing, but the rectum is weak?

46:46 Drew No, he's more a mouth guy, it sounds like.

46:48 Adam Mouth guy?

46:48 Drew Yeah.

46:49 Adam Okay, Troy. Hey, buddy.

46:51 Yes?

46:52 Adam We're going to put you on hold for a minute.

46:53 Okay.

46:54 Adam And then we're going to sort through the wreckage of your life.

46:57 He's bisexual.

46:58 Adam But you'll be a new man when we're done with you.

47:01 Okay.

47:02 Adam All right, buddy?

47:03 Okay.

47:03 Adam All right, so hang on, okay?

47:04 Okay. All right.

47:06 Adam Take a little break, and we'll be right back with Troy after this.

47:10 Caller All right, guys.

47:11 Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:15 Drew One call is all you need to make.

47:17 Call the Dateline.

47:18 Caller 877-889-DATE.

48:04 Adam Hey, I like that rip.

48:05 Drew We've stumbled in a way to cure all the ill of mankind, have we not?

48:09 Adam Yeah, Drew and I just had a serious discussion about peanuts. So here's the deal. Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla's Dr. Drew Foner, or 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Countdown to oral surgery. What is it, Drew, now? Is it 11 hours exactly?

48:24 Drew And yeah.

48:25 Adam Yeah. Oh, I'll be crying like a baby in that chair.

48:34 Drew Yeah, but you're going to come in here all beat up on Vicodin, for God's sake.

48:37 Adam The cast of Undeclared. That's Fox's big new hit coming in here tomorrow night. So it'll be good times. As I was saying earlier, I flew in from Vegas on Saturday night. And on the way out to Vegas, I flew southwest, both ways. And on the way out from Burbank to Las Vegas, I got myself some nice peanuts on the plane. And anyone who listens to the show with any regularity knows I really enjoy the nuts. Yeah. Especially the peanuts on the airplane when I'm drinking my nice beer, Bloody Mary. On the way back, just about the time I was getting ready for that double peanut sack that the Southwest airline was about to toss at me. Here comes the stewardess with that Fiesta Macs pack. Flight attendant. With that Fiesta pack, which is basically that ranch stuff and that mustard stuff. And it's all sprayed on those those rye crisps.

49:29 Drew And pretzels.

49:30 Adam Pretzel things that are way too salty. It's kind of like hamster food, but it's too salty. And it's just.

49:35 Drew Hamster wouldn't eat it.

49:37 Adam The word Fiesta and or party, no matter what language you say the word party in, it does not belong in the title of that, that grub. That is some of the worst tasting crap I've ever had in my life. And I said to the stewardess, Oh, where's the peanuts? Because that's really the only reason to fly Southwest is the actually having peanuts on the plane. And she said, well, somebody on the plane is allergic to peanuts, and they phoned in and therefore will not be doing peanuts. And I thought to myself, this is the problem with this country in a nutshell. Hey, that's good, right? We got 120 people on a plane. We got one person who's allergic to peanuts, and I'll say allergic and give them the benefit of the doubt, because I know if I talk to this person, I would realize they were just a mess, and this was all psychosomatic. But you got one person who's allergic to peanuts, and therefore the other 119 people will not do with the peanuts. And here is what I have to say. Maybe this is easy for me as a guy who's not allergic to peanuts. Here are my choices if I'm running this airline to this person who does not want me to have peanuts on their plane. A. Take the goddamn bus. B. Take your chances. Or C. Since it is your problem, you get a respirator or a dust mask. If you're worried about peanut pollen being circulated in the planes ventilation system, and you put a mask on and protect yourself from the very dangerous peanut pollen that could be in there.

51:08 Drew But it goes at the core of something we deal with all the time here, and certainly I see all the time in the clinical world, which is we live in a time when people have a problem, when it's their problem, whatever it is, whatever it's emotional condition, physical condition, it becomes projected onto everyone else. That's right. Even though it's my problem, I don't want to look at it that way, it's yours. Right. You're causing it, you're going to take care of it, it's the man, it's whoever, but as opposed to taking responsibility for it and just dealing.

51:40 Adam Well, the reason they have a problem is so they can have a forum, an excuse to cry out about people helping them or not helping them. That's the whole reason the problem was created. People have legitimate problems, don't talk about them that much.

51:55 Drew They just deal with them.

51:55 Adam They deal with them. They actually, if you think about people that have substantial, legitimate, physical, emotional, or whatever kind of problems, legitimate problems, they quietly go about their business and don't want people, for the most part, to make a scene about it. So, I'd like to kill this person, didn't want the peanuts on the plane. And by the way, you think you're going to go into anaphylactic shock if somebody two seats from you is eating peanuts, if you're allergic to peanuts? And by the way, if that's going to kill you, just put a shotgun in your mouth. If you're telling me that peanut dust is going to put you down, it's time for you to go. That's just Darwinism to me. You know what I mean? How you go through life on the off chance that you're going to get a little shot of a peanut pixie dust and go into seizure. You know what I'm saying, Drew? Do you know anyone who's that allergic to peanuts? And I know they talk about it. It exists. But does that mean you'd have to be like John Travolta in that bubble?

53:00 Drew It seems like you couldn't go anywhere, could you? You should be able to manage that, it seems to me. You know what I mean? It's real to manage that because that kind of thing would be around all the time.

53:11 Adam Let me just, let me float this real quick. If you were a person who could die because of someone eating peanuts in your proximity, you would need to address that. Because I could bring a sack of peanuts on the plane, be sitting next to you and break into them on my own and kill you.

53:30 Drew Hell, you could be walking in a mall.

53:32 Adam You couldn't go to a, you could not go to a Dodger game. That's right. I would like this person killed from something other than a peanut, perhaps a peanut. Ironically, I would like a shotgun to be loaded with peanuts and just take this person's head off with it.

53:46 Drew Nice.

53:47 Adam Troy?

53:47 Yeah?

53:48 Adam So, you're 17, you're bisexual. Have you ever been with a man or a woman?

53:56 Caller Yes.

53:56 Adam You have?

53:57 Caller Yes.

53:58 Adam Both?

53:58 Both.

53:59 Caller Not at the same time.

54:01 Adam Oh, really? What have you done with a woman?

54:07 Caller Well, I haven't given one a rim job.

54:12 Adam Hold on, let me write that down. He's full of crap.

54:15 Drew Yeah. Sorry.

54:16 Adam All right. Hey, Troy, we're going to let you go. Okay. All right.

54:19 Drew Nice try.

54:22 Adam You know what I like? I like the, okay, which is, I like the, it's your lost home.

54:28 Drew Yeah.

54:28 Adam We don't get to talk to Jack off Troy anymore about his bogus goal. All right. See if you get any more calls. Don?

54:36 Yeah. Hi guys. You have to help.

54:38 Adam What's happening, baby?

54:39 I feel totally incompetent.

54:41 Adam Go ahead. You're 23.

54:43 Caller Yeah. I met a guy at a club on Saturday and he was really, really cute. Whatever. We hooked up that night at his house. And Sparks are really flying. Whatever. We started having sex and poof, like he lost his erection. And that never happened to me before. And then, you know, I took it as a challenge. Okay, I'm going to talk quick.

55:05 Adam Hold on crazy. He lost his erection?

55:07 Caller Yeah, it just died.

55:09 Adam Right. Then what? Where were you at sexually with his penis?

55:12 Caller He was penetrating me.

55:15 Adam He was Indian lost it.

55:16 Caller Yeah.

55:17 Adam Hold on a second.

55:18 Drew Hold on.

55:18 Adam Oh, that's bad.

55:20 Drew Well, it's here.

55:22 Adam He could have been booze and maybe.

55:23 Drew Yeah.

55:24 Adam Maybe whatever, whatever he should get. Not even maybe something kicked in on him or something. Or maybe she starts screaming about dad. She started crying about Dan. Yeah, Don.

55:37 Caller Yeah. No, none of the above. It happened five times and he's a recovering alcoholic. Like that night he didn't drink anything. He was totally sober.

55:46 Adam All right. And you know, for a fact that he didn't ingest anything.

55:49 Caller Yeah, pretty much with him pretty much the whole night.

55:52 Adam No drugs.

55:53 Drew He's probably on medication, right?

55:56 Caller I didn't go through his medicine cabinet. I don't think so.

55:58 Drew He's probably on medication.

56:00 Adam He was very sober.

56:01 Caller He thought he was nervous. I mean, he's really hot. Like, he's definitely been around a lot of girls.

56:07 Adam Let me say a couple of things. First off, let that be a lesson to you ladies. All hot guys have penises that are wrong.

56:13 Drew Penis problems, yeah.

56:14 Adam Right. And number two, guys who can dance have penises that don't work. Can he dance, this guy?

56:20 Caller We weren't dancing. I don't know.

56:22 Adam Okay. Well, he probably can.

56:24 Caller But, I mean, I just... What did I do wrong?

56:28 Adam Nothing. Nothing. You got a lot of energy.

56:31 Drew It's not about you.

56:32 Adam It was late. What time was this? 3 in the morning, and this guy was on the downhill side of the evening, and he just... He stumbled a little. He lost his step.

56:44 Drew Also, if he was an addict, God knows what he did that might have affected his brain permanently. Number two, he's...

56:50 Caller So he's ruined permanently?

56:52 Adam No, he's fine.

56:53 Drew Well, no, no. And secondly, he may well be on medication and not talk to you about that, and that's a common side effect of some of these medications. And then, how did this work that it happened five times? What does that mean, it happened five times? You mean it got going?

57:06 Caller Well, as soon as it went down, like it just sort of rolled over, and we, you know, doing other things, I tried to get him excited again, and he would pop up, and we would start again, and boom, you're like, the Erexian God, like, took it away or something, I don't know.

57:21 Drew Maybe he has this, and he may have this problem chronically. He may have a problem. So who knows? You don't know this guy. Who knows?

57:27 Adam Well, listen, all these pretty boys have this problem, I'm telling you. But, Don, you're, you know, you're a passionate, passionate, like a charlie girl, you know, you're, you got a lot of energy. And I think sometimes guys get a little intimidated sometimes, you know, you just, you guys just met and all that stuff, right?

57:47 Guest Yeah. Okay.

57:48 Adam Okay.

57:49 Caller Are you sure?

57:49 Adam Now, what's up? Are you going to see him again?

57:52 Caller Well, I mean, I guess, I mean, I don't know.

57:55 Adam Well, how'd you leave it with him?

57:58 Caller I tried to finish him, but it wouldn't happen and everything was sweet and he wanted to like hug and cuddle and I was just like, maybe I should go.

58:07 I don't know.

58:09 Caller I called him today. I left a message.

58:11 Guest I don't know.

58:12 Caller I was like, hi.

58:13 Guest I hope you're doing well.

58:15 Caller I'll talk to you soon.

58:16 Drew Oh, Dawn.

58:17 Adam I don't know. Here's the other thing.

58:19 Caller Nothing's going to come of this, but I just-

58:21 Adam No. Can't get anything out of this guy's penis. Oh, I see what you're saying. See, here could be a problem too. He could be embarrassed to see you again.

58:31 Caller I mean, I'm the one who kind of feels-

58:33 Adam I had this happen to me.

58:34 Caller Something wrong, I don't know. My confidence is gone now.

58:38 Adam No, listen, I'm sure- Where are you? LA. Come on over to the studio. Let's build you up. Where do you live?

58:46 Caller In LA.

58:46 Adam I know, but where?

58:48 Caller Like, the street.

58:48 Caller Yeah, big streets.

58:51 Caller Santa Monica and, like, Beverly Boulevard, like, between there, and, like, the flats of Beverly Hills.

58:56 Adam Right here. No, you're not too far away. Okay. Why don't you come on down? Let's have a look at you. I'll build you right back up, okay?

59:03 Caller Thanks, Adam.

59:04 Adam No, I'm serious. You come on down.

59:06 Caller Okay.

59:06 Adam All right, you got a car?

59:08 Caller Yeah.

59:08 Adam Yeah, you're fun, right?

59:09 Guest Yeah.

59:10 Adam You've always wanted to meet Drew, right?

59:12 Guest Absolutely.

59:13 Adam All right, well, we'll put you on hold. You come over here and I'll build you up.

59:17 Guest Thanks.

59:17 Adam You'll be a new woman when you leave, all right?

59:20 Guest Okay, Adam.

59:21 Adam All right, Damien, tell her how to get here.

59:24 Caller I thought you had a girlfriend.

59:25 Adam I know. No, I'm not talking about sex. I mean, just a blowjob. I have a girlfriend. We're very much in love. I just want to have a look at you.

59:36 Drew Because what? To be able to then build her up?

59:39 Adam I want to build her up.

59:40 Drew Okay.

59:40 Adam All right?

59:41 Drew So if she's something, in other words, what you're expecting is she's going to be something exceptional and there's no way that, you know what I'm saying?

59:47 Adam I'm thinking she's going to be cute. That's what I'm thinking.

59:51 Drew And therefore, you're going to be able to.

59:53 Adam I don't know. I just, she lives so close. You might as well tell her to come on by.

59:57 Drew She's Anderson got on the phone.

1:00:03 Adam Well, you know she puts out Anderson and she's looking, she's looking for a confidence builder right now. And I'll tell you Anderson, his back isn't much good anymore, but his front works fine. I mean, he's got a bad back, but he's got a good front. Yeah, let me get her over here. Anna?

1:00:22 Guest Yeah?

1:00:22 Adam You're 15?

1:00:23 Drew Oh, no.

1:00:25 Guest What?

1:00:25 Adam What happened? Oh, wait, is that her?

1:00:30 Drew Is that Karen?

1:00:31 Adam Oh, hold on a second. Hold on, hold on. We know who, we know who that is.

1:00:36 Drew Right?

1:00:37 Adam Wait a second.

1:00:37 Drew But she was a virgin last time we talked to her though.

1:00:39 Adam Are we talking about the girl who I've seen over here, who's come over here before as a friend of, I don't know.

1:00:46 Drew We thought it was her, but it's not her.

1:00:48 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Thank you. Sorry. Anna? Go ahead.

1:00:53 Guest Oh, well, I have this guy, I can't remember his name.

1:00:58 Adam Whoa. Hold on. Are you on tranquilizers?

1:01:01 Guest No.

1:01:02 Adam Is your phone screwed up?

1:01:04 Guest Oh, I have a cell phone.

1:01:05 Drew It's hard to understand you.

1:01:07 Guest Oh, I'm here. Okay. Is that better?

1:01:11 Adam Marginally.

1:01:12 Guest Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Can you hear me now?

1:01:16 Adam Yeah, a little better. All right. I'm going to read your question. You met an Aussie on the net, an Australian guy. What should you do? No guys like you.

1:01:26 Guest Well, okay. Well, yeah. Well, I didn't really mean that. He asked me a question and I just said that, so.

1:01:33 Adam Okay.

1:01:34 Guest Yeah.

1:01:35 Adam All right. So you're 15 years old and guys at your school don't like you?

1:01:39 Guest Well, they're really bad people.

1:01:44 Adam All the people at your school are bad people?

1:01:46 Guest They're all preppies and they're all rich and they got their old daddies paid money and they want to get Barbie and.

1:01:53 Adam And you're weird and gothy and angry at everybody?

1:01:56 Guest I'm not gothy and.

1:01:58 Adam But you're angry. You're angry.

1:02:00 Drew Different.

1:02:01 Guest Well, yeah, I'm different. They think I'm a freak.

1:02:04 Drew Why do they think you're a freak?

1:02:05 Adam Because you want them to think you're a freak.

1:02:06 Guest I understand. No, I don't want them to think I'm a freak.

1:02:08 Drew What would cause them to think that way?

1:02:11 Guest Well, I don't know. There's like a lot of rumors going on about me and stuff.

1:02:15 Drew There's nothing unusual about the way you look? How you present yourself?

1:02:20 Guest Not really.

1:02:21 Drew You just prep. You just prep like your peers.

1:02:23 Guest I don't dress preppy.

1:02:24 Drew How do you dress?

1:02:26 Guest Sort of punkish.

1:02:27 Adam Oh, there you go.

1:02:27 Guest But there's punks at my school.

1:02:29 Drew I understand.

1:02:30 Adam Listen, who even? People at that school don't even know who you are. What do you mean there's rumors going around?

1:02:34 Drew Well, if you present yourself a certain way, there's going to be consequence. That's the way life is.

1:02:41 Guest There's no newspapers and news and stuff about me, so.

1:02:46 Drew What?

1:02:47 Guest No newspapers and news and stuff about me, so.

1:02:49 Drew In the newspaper?

1:02:50 Adam Yeah. She got a haircut, AP picked up on it, made the wire.

1:02:54 Guest No.

1:02:54 Adam I was reading about it on USA Today when I was on the plane.

1:02:57 Drew What happened?

1:02:58 Guest My dad pushed me out of a car.

1:03:00 Drew Pushed you out of a car?

1:03:01 Guest Yeah, I'm over in Korea.

1:03:03 This is front page material.

1:03:04 Drew Well, but there you go. So you have an abusive family system. That's natural enough then. Yeah, that's horrible. Listen, Anna, that's horribly abusive. And when kids are abused, they react. They do different things. They feel angry. They feel out of place. They feel distrusting of other people. And they act out. You act out in angry ways. And when you act out, the world's going to sort of react to that. And it's to your own detriment, unfortunately. It's fine to be different. It's fine to be an individual. But to not expect the world to be. I understand you don't want to be anything. I know for Adam, you don't want to be anything.

1:03:36 Adam I like everyone to wear beige pajamas. When I'm in charge, everyone will wear gray pajamas with a belt built into it. You know, that little piece of pleated elastic, you know, like a jumpsuit.

1:03:51 Drew Yes, right.

1:03:52 Adam Yeah, like Logan's run. Hey, Anna, look, here's the situation. I was going to ask you about your dad. I know it's a bunch of psychological stuff and it's kind of hard to understand, but your dad did a number on you and now the only way you sort of relate to people is when they're doing a number on you.

1:04:12 Drew Right. So you are that person.

1:04:14 Adam So you create this situation where people don't like you or people have it against you or people are talking about you, and you're the one who's creating that by the messages that you give them. Do you see what I'm saying? By the way you dress or the way you act. If you don't want people to judge you that way or talk about you that way, then don't give them the information. I mean let's forget about preppies and punks. Let's talk about terrorists. It's not a great time to grow a full beard, wear a turban, carry the Koran, and then walk around carrying like flight manuals. Now you could do that and it's your business if you want to do that, but certainly do not complain that people are suspicious, that people are talking about you, that people are looking at you. If you don't want people to talk about you and you don't want people to judge you and you don't want people to look at you, then let your hair go back to its normal color and put on a pair of sweatpants. And I guarantee you they will stop talking. But you don't want that because you don't know you are alive until people are talking about you and plotting against you because that is who you are because you have a dad who pushes you out of a moving car. So that is what you need to focus on. Forget about this guy in Australia you met on the net because Australia is at least further than Oregon. Right?

1:05:50 Drew Even.

1:05:51 Adam I mean it is almost out of country. It is way out there that Australia.

1:05:55 Caller My questions are going to my pekka.

1:05:58 Adam And just meet a nice punk guy at school.

1:06:02 All right.

1:06:02 Adam Where are we here, Drew? Mark?

1:06:05 Yeah.

1:06:06 Adam But everyone stop acting out, please. Like that chick who walked up to me and wanted to know if I was always a prick. She gets to walk away from that and say that I tacked her.

1:06:18 Yeah.

1:06:18 Adam And that's she got what she wanted.

1:06:20 Mark?

1:06:21 Adam I'm sorry. Go ahead there, buddy.

1:06:23 I was wondering because they said that if you masturbate a young teen, you lose your sex drive when you get older.

1:06:28 Drew Who told you that?

1:06:30 Some people.

1:06:31 Drew They're wrong.

1:06:34 OK.

1:06:34 Adam All right. Go ahead. You're free to masturbate. OK?

1:06:39 OK.

1:06:40 Adam Beat it. How many times are you good for a day?

1:06:45 Two or three times.

1:06:46 Adam Two or three times. At 14, huh?

1:06:49 Drew Yeah. Hit the ground running.

1:06:50 Adam Yeah. You'll be fine. The last laugh will be on all those people who are saving themselves for nothing.

1:06:57 OK.

1:06:58 Adam All right, Mark. You get one out tonight for me, all right?

1:07:01 OK.

1:07:02 Drew Get one out?

1:07:03 Adam And I don't mean for me. I mean, I want you really to think about me.

1:07:07 Drew Get one out? Oh, my God.

1:07:10 Adam You completely focus, all right?

1:07:12 Drew OK. All right. This is goofball, Fred.

1:07:16 Adam I went on this porn website last night.

1:07:19 Drew Yeah. Oh, you're doing it.

1:07:20 Adam You're going for first time.

1:07:22 Oh, man.

1:07:23 Drew I'm surprised you showed up for work today.

1:07:25 Adam First time. I was actually on the I was on the I stayed in last night and just got drunk, you know, sat around the house.

1:07:32 Drew Yeah.

1:07:32 Adam Had a couple of cocktails and relax.

1:07:34 Drew Do you have DSL? No, I have DirecTV DSL. I'm going to get that for you. It's the greatest thing ever.

1:07:40 Adam Okay.

1:07:40 Drew Do you have DirecTV?

1:07:41 Adam Yeah.

1:07:42 Drew Okay. We're getting that for you.

1:07:43 Adam All right. Thank you. So I had a few cocktails. I was just putzing around watching TV and I decided to go get on the Home Depot website.

1:07:51 Guest Home Depot?

1:07:52 Adam Yeah. So I got on the Home Depot website and I didn't find it. I was just sitting around watching TV and putzing around on a computer, which I never do. And I don't know really how to do it very well. So I thought, it's time to learn. And then I thought, let me check out one of these porn websites. I was looking at this porn magazine. So I was checking out this porn website and I thought, oh, I got one of these movies here. I got to order me one of these DVD movies. I like this one.

1:08:18 Drew Which one was it?

1:08:19 Adam It was some big boob one. I don't know the name of it. Shocking. Shocking. And then I thought to myself, God damn it, I wish I had that thing now. Then I thought, you know, you bought this magazine two weeks ago, you were looking at this movie thing and you could have ordered it back then, Don't they stream it down to you? You can see some pictures and some stuff, but it ain't the DVD. It ain't the real thing. Oh, not even close. No different than seeing, you know, maybe the trailer of a movie or something or the poster for a movie. So I thought, all right, you know what you should do? You should order this movie now. And I thought, well, what good does that do me? And I thought, well, listen, lame brain, if you'd use this logic a week ago, you'd have it by now. Then I thought, yeah, but I need it now.

1:09:07 Drew So you went out and got it?

1:09:08 Adam No.

1:09:09 Drew No.

1:09:09 Adam I didn't know where I could get it. I probably would have.

1:09:11 Drew Did you order it?

1:09:12 Adam Well, then I thought, okay, we'll order it now, would you? Then I thought, no, I'd like to beat off. Then I thought, well, wait a minute. You'll beat off, then you'll order it. Then I said, no, no, you beat off. You ain't ordering it. You're back on the Home Depot website. And I said, no, no, yes, you will. And I said, no, no, no, no. Then I said, order now. And I said, no, no, listen, I'll go beat off, then I'll order it. Then I was like, you're not going to order it if you beat off. You'll be sorry next weekend.

1:09:44 Drew Oh, jeez.

1:09:45 Adam So I went and beat off.

1:09:46 Drew No order.

1:09:47 Adam No way. I was disgusted of myself. $49. My God.

1:09:53 That's a lot of money.

1:09:54 Adam Well, it's a DVD. You don't got to kind of catch it all around.

1:09:58 Drew It must be really difficult to be you.

1:10:01 Adam It's horrible.

1:10:02 Drew It's horrible. It's got to be.

1:10:04 Adam So the point is.

1:10:05 Drew Humanity.

1:10:06 Adam We can just go ahead and fast forward to next weekend when I repeat this scenario in my head again.

1:10:12 Drew You know what? We're going to the web right now and we're getting this for you. Right now.

1:10:16 Adam I don't know the website.

1:10:17 Drew Well, you don't know the name of the movie? Come on.

1:10:21 Adam Let's go get it. We can try. I don't know. We're not going to do it.

1:10:26 Drew Why?

1:10:27 Adam I don't know the name of it. I can figure it out. All right. Let's go get it. Thank you. All right, buddy. Let's take a leak. All right. We'll be back.

1:10:34 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm back in a minute.

1:11:06 Adam Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there. Ten hours and 32 minutes until my oral surgery begins. I don't know if anyone's had the pleasure of experiencing root canal, but it is... So far, I've not come across anything in life that is quite as disturbing as that.

1:11:35 Drew Just get that nitrous going, you'll be fine, right?

1:11:39 Adam I'm too weird for nitrous.

1:11:41 Drew Yeah.

1:11:42 Adam I freak out.

1:11:43 Drew You gave us a great example of that before the break.

1:11:46 Adam I did?

1:11:46 Drew Yeah.

1:11:47 Adam What was I saying?

1:11:50 Drew The internal dialogue, the civil war that goes on in your soul.

1:11:54 Adam Yeah. I got to figure out something with that. The other problem is, is I get the nitrous through the nose, and my nose doesn't work very well. And I breathe through my mouth, but they give you the nitrous through the nose thing, so I don't get it like I should get it because 85% of my air comes through my mouth. That's why it's fun to eat lunch with me because I breathe, talk, and eat at the same time.

1:12:21 Drew Yeah, it's good. It's a good thing you've got a career on radio going.

1:12:24 Adam Yeah.

1:12:24 Drew When you try to eat on radio, it sounds delightful. Nick, 19.

1:12:28 Caller Nick, 19?

1:12:30 Adam That's me.

1:12:30 Caller That's right. Adam, Drew, I've got a question for you guys. Before I make love to my girlfriend, I feel like I love her and it feels sincere to me.

1:12:40 Drew You're gay.

1:12:43 Caller But afterwards, I feel like I don't love her anymore, honestly. Like I could do without her, you know?

1:12:47 Drew How long does that last for?

1:12:49 Caller How long does that feeling last for?

1:12:51 Drew Yeah.

1:12:51 Caller Until I get horny again, I guess.

1:12:53 Drew Right.

1:12:54 Caller I mean, I'm not, you know, I mean, I feel like I really love her, but then when I'm done, I honestly feel like I don't need her anymore.

1:13:02 Drew It's very similar to Adam's internal struggle.

1:13:04 Adam This is what happened to me last night on the computer. That's why I didn't order that porn.

1:13:08 Drew He was in love with her while he was thinking about masturbating, but when he was done, he was disgusted.

1:13:14 Caller Right?

1:13:14 Drew Isn't that what happened?

1:13:16 Caller Does this warning mean that I really love her? Or is it just not...

1:13:19 Drew No, it means that you have a lot of... No, it means that you have a certain personality... I'm going to theorize here. Personality constructs where envy is sort of a prominent feature. And when you have a lot of envy, the things you want most in the other person are soiled by you getting them, quite literally. The fact that she would have you sort of spoils the whole thing.

1:13:44 Adam Oh, really? Is that what he's saying? I'm not getting that.

1:13:47 Drew He said he wants her and then he doesn't want her afterwards.

1:13:50 Caller Well, it's not like I'm disgusted with her, but it's just, you know, it's like I feel like I don't really love her as much as I did before.

1:13:56 Adam Yeah. Well, Nick, this happens to most 19-year-old males.

1:14:01 Drew Some version, some version.

1:14:02 Adam This is why women don't trust males. And it's sort of, I know, here's what's hard to do as a guy, Nick. And I got to do this myself. A lot of guys don't look at women as people or human beings. They look at them as sort of things they need. You know what I mean? Not much, not much different than anything in life you need. And that doesn't mean they're not real important. But they're not, they might as well be a, something on a shelf at a store that you want to purchase, you know. And it takes a while to start looking at them as a human being so that even when you don't need them or even when you don't have a boner, they still exist and they're still human beings. And I don't know, that's hard to do when you're 19 and that's not what you're feeling. You just chip away. I mean Drew, think about what a mess you were at 19 relationship wise. I mean you were a disaster.

1:15:02 Drew Disaster.

1:15:04 Adam Disaster.

1:15:05 Drew Disaster.

1:15:06 Adam Disaster. And I was a mess and so was everybody I know. I don't trust a guy at 19 who knows how to treat a woman. You know what I mean?

1:15:16 Drew Yeah.

1:15:17 Adam But here's the point. All the 19 year olds that are listening to this show. Don't call this show at 29 and then again at 39 and be in the exact same place.

1:15:26 Drew Right.

1:15:27 Adam You be like Drew over here. You do some work on yourself and you end up having a good relationship.

1:15:32 Guest Right.

1:15:34 Adam Eric? You're 25?

1:15:37 Caller Hey. Hold on a second.

1:15:38 Adam Hold on, lover. This is another guy. He's another guy with the same kind of problem.

1:15:45 Drew As who? Really interesting. Yeah, I agree.

1:15:49 Adam So Eric, just hang on one second. Let's just take a different kind of call and then we'll get right back with you. It's not the same call, but it's the same time. Amber?

1:15:58 Yeah.

1:15:59 Adam You're 15?

1:16:00 Caller Uh-huh.

1:16:00 Adam What's up, baby?

1:16:03 Guest Earlier, I cut on myself.

1:16:06 Adam Where'd you cut on yourself?

1:16:08 Guest On my legs.

1:16:09 Adam Yeah.

1:16:09 Drew You ever cut before?

1:16:10 Guest No, first time.

1:16:12 Drew Well, are you in treatment of any type?

1:16:15 Guest No.

1:16:15 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:16:17 Guest No.

1:16:17 Drew Do you do drugs?

1:16:19 Guest Some.

1:16:19 Drew Which ones?

1:16:21 Guest Just pot and acid.

1:16:23 Drew You're doing a lot of acid?

1:16:25 Guest Not really.

1:16:26 Drew Well, the sort of impulse to cut, at very least, is a sign that something real serious is going on, right? You didn't tend to harm yourself, is that correct?

1:16:36 Guest Yeah.

1:16:36 Drew You did or did not?

1:16:38 Guest No, I didn't do it deep enough, just enough to get blood.

1:16:41 Drew But you didn't intend to harm yourself?

1:16:43 Guest Yeah.

1:16:44 Drew All right. And the fact is that when you have very heavy feelings, that your brain literally has no other way to manage, cutting is one of the ways that people get a release. And it's a sign that really something is remiss and something needs to be dealt with. You need to get some help for this.

1:16:59 Adam I'm going to pay a guy to cut on my gums tomorrow. I was just thinking about that. Hey Amber, how about a little help for yourself? I mean obviously you're depressed, you're angry.

1:17:12 Drew You're doing acid, you may be harming yourself with those chemicals.

1:17:16 Adam What's up? Who's not paying attention to you at that home?

1:17:19 Caller Not really anybody.

1:17:21 Adam I see. You don't exist over there?

1:17:23 Guest Yeah. Since I was seven.

1:17:24 Adam Yeah.

1:17:25 Drew Why? What happened then?

1:17:26 Guest My mom took off.

1:17:29 Drew Is she still gone?

1:17:30 Guest Yeah.

1:17:30 Adam Oh boy. You know, the thing, I had this when I was a kid too. When you have a family that doesn't really pay attention to you, your impulse is to try to hurt yourself to draw attention to yourself.

1:17:42 Drew Right.

1:17:42 Adam And this, although when you have a family doesn't care, you got the wrong people. You know what I mean? It's a bad situation.

1:17:50 Drew They're not going to care anyway.

1:17:52 Caller Yeah.

1:17:53 Adam It's marginally, I mean it's more than they would when you were healthy, but it's still never, it's not real, not much. Amber, you need friends. Where are your friends?

1:18:03 Guest Well, I just moved here and I'm not really close to anybody.

1:18:06 Adam Well, you need to start making friends. Here's the deal with your family. I'm going to be straight with you. There's a magic unicorn that comes down from the castle in the sky.

1:18:17 Drew Listen, I was at the Jimmy Carter Center last week and we were examining youth at risk and whatnot. And when you go into some of the more disturbed family situations, it turns out that half of the kids turn out OK, much to the surprise. And if you look at those kids and try to figure out what it was that protected them from psychological damage of those dysfunctional families.

1:18:39 Adam Magic unicorn.

1:18:40 Drew The magic unicorn. No, it turns out a significant relationship in or outside the home. One good relationship is protective.

1:18:49 Adam One pedophile priest can make the difference.

1:18:53 Drew But what were the bros you hung out with and played football?

1:18:59 Adam Every one of my team was my brother.

1:19:01 Drew Yeah, but you had that one family who hung out with and played football.

1:19:04 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, the Boyd brothers.

1:19:07 Drew Boyd brothers.

1:19:07 Adam The black guys. Yeah. Yeah. I hung out everywhere but my house. But Amber, this is what you need. You need friends. And I know you're new. But you got it. It's your 15. You're going to school. Make some friends. Find some girls who you have something in common with.

1:19:24 Drew And not to let the cut on themselves. Wear black and have black fingernail polish.

1:19:28 Adam Right.

1:19:28 Drew Somebody that's positive and upbeat and can make you feel better about yourself and give you some distraction and some fun.

1:19:34 Adam Right. Here's what I want to say, Amber. Your family is not a good family and they're probably never going to be good. And that's sad, but it's true. And you're 15 and you're getting some independence and in a few short years you'll be completely independent and you've got to start taking care of yourself and making friends and making yourself feel better and not worrying about your screwed up family. OK. You've got to study in school and stay after school and go to band practice or cheerleading practice or volleyball or some crap like that.

1:20:09 Drew Do that for us. Come on. Please.

1:20:12 Adam OK.

1:20:13 Drew What?

1:20:13 Adam What are you saying, Anderson? Is someone pushing a button there?

1:20:16 Guest OK.

1:20:18 Adam Well, that's two jackoffs. What are they doing?

1:20:23 Caller We got a couple.

1:20:24 Guest OK.

1:20:26 Adam We only like professionals in the studio. We got a couple of visitors watching the show tonight. One of them set his you-hoo down on a button. Jenny? Jenny?

1:20:40 Yeah.

1:20:40 Adam Oh, sorry. I said Jenny.

1:20:43 Yeah. I just have a really quick question for you. Yeah? My door seems like it's too big for my hinge. The door separates the hall from the living room, and I tried to shut it to keep my son out of the back room, and I slammed it really hard because it doesn't close all the way. And it actually got stuck out of the two back rooms.

1:21:10 Adam Oh, the door got stuck shut?

1:21:12 Yeah. It got stuck shut because it doesn't, like, overlap the hinge.

1:21:18 Drew She keeps talking about the hinge. I don't think that's what she means.

1:21:21 I mean, like, the door looks like it's too big. Like, it doesn't close all the way. You have to, like, keep slamming it to get it to go in. And so I slammed it, and then I got it stuck, and I actually couldn't get in there for about 15 minutes. I had to kick it in.

1:21:39 Drew Does it stick all the way along the door jamb, or just at the top?

1:21:42 It seems like it's just, like, at the end where you shut it, and at the top.

1:21:48 Oh, hmm.

1:21:50 Drew This is like me talking to Dermatologic, probably.

1:21:53 Yeah, well, but I got stuck out of there, and I can't... Do you think it's, like, a hinge? Should I take it off and try to put it back on, or...?

1:22:03 Adam You in the same house with the door in it right now?

1:22:06 No, I don't know where.

1:22:08 Adam Oh, okay. Okay, here's what you can... How old is the house?

1:22:13 Caller Um, pretty old. It was built in 1965, I think it's called.

1:22:19 Drew Very old, ancient. You know, people across the country are thinking, what? Old house.

1:22:25 Adam Yeah, that's not that old house. All right. Well, 1965, so it's a pile of ass.

1:22:29 Drew Yeah, that it is.

1:22:30 Adam Everything that was built in 1965 sucks.

1:22:32 Drew Well, not quite as bad as 74, but...

1:22:34 Adam That's true, but they were practicing in 65.

1:22:36 Drew They were. Perhaps they were going to build in 74. Well, they got that metal window down in 64, didn't they?

1:22:40 Adam Yeah, flat roofs with the rocks on them.

1:22:42 Drew Yeah, that's what they got for it.

1:22:43 Adam Genius, genius. Okay, so look, here's what you need to do. Take yourself a screwdriver and tighten up the hinges at the top, just the top hinge.

1:22:53 Caller Okay.

1:22:54 Adam Tighten the screws up, but if the screw turns and it's not biting anything, it just keeps turning, pull it out, take like a toothpick or popsicle stick or something, like make it pointy and shove it in a hole and break it off and then put the screw back in there again. Do you understand what I'm saying?

1:23:11 Caller Okay, so I take the screw off and then...

1:23:14 Drew If it's stripped, if it's stripped, I won't forget it, it's not going to work.

1:23:18 Adam It's not going to work. Look, hey, Jenny.

1:23:20 Caller Yeah.

1:23:20 Drew Call Hannibal.

1:23:21 Adam Jeannie, Jeannie, just let me say this one more time, Jeannie. Okay. I'm going to recap, I'm going to say it exactly how I said it the first time.

1:23:28 Caller Please.

1:23:29 Adam Turn that screw that's on the top hinge.

1:23:32 Drew The one screw in the door and in the jam?

1:23:34 Adam The screw that's in the door and in the door jam. Just turn them and tighten them. And if when you try to tighten them, if they just keep spinning and it feels like they're not biting anything, then unscrew it, take it out, take a toothpick or something, some kind of piece of wood, and break it off in the screw hole and then put the screw back in there.

1:23:56 Drew Okay.

1:23:57 Adam That's the best you can do tonight. Ever. That's it. All right, so now here's Eric.

1:24:04 Drew Now we're going to break now. All right.

1:24:06 Adam But let me just say hi to Eric. Eric. Hi. Sorry for keeping you on hold there buddy. But now we got to take a break.

1:24:12 Caller Okay.

1:24:12 Adam But you're first.

1:24:14 Caller Okay.

1:24:14 Adam When we come back, okay? Thanks. All right. We'll be back with Eric's problem after this.

1:24:20 Drew All right guys, here's the deal.

1:24:21 Caller Looking to hook up, call the Dateline.

1:24:23 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

1:24:25 Caller Call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:24:29 Caller 1-877-889.

1:24:31 Caller Date.

1:25:07 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Forget about the phone numbers. It's too late. We'll just take what we got.

1:25:19 Oh.

1:25:20 Drew Eric's been on hold.

1:25:21 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Undeclared, the cast of the hit Fox show Undeclared in here tomorrow night. By the way, Family Guy back on Fox.

1:25:31 Drew Oh, good. Does that mean your show is going to get...

1:25:33 Caller Unacceptable.

1:25:34 Adam I don't know, but I watched the Family Guy last week. Funny as hell. That show is really funny. Eric?

1:25:42 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:25:43 Adam So sorry there, buddy.

1:25:44 Caller Hey, thanks for taking my call.

1:25:46 Adam 25 years old, you get aroused when your girlfriend told you about sex with another guy.

1:25:51 Caller Right. We had split up and we got back together again.

1:25:55 Adam Right.

1:25:56 Caller We had actually had had sex and we were laying there and I kind of jokingly asked if she had been with anybody else and she replied that she had.

1:26:05 Drew And that just that response aroused you?

1:26:07 Caller That response, it was, well I mean, I was kind of angry, definitely angry, but at the same time I became very aroused and had an orgasm. Within seconds probably.

1:26:17 Drew Spontaneously?

1:26:20 Caller I touched myself, but I mean, yeah, within seconds. This is probably minutes after we had actually had sex.

1:26:26 Adam Wow.

1:26:27 Caller Yeah, and then I had told her that that's what had happened and she became aroused and we had sex again.

1:26:36 Adam You had a third orgasm then?

1:26:38 Caller I had a third orgasm, right.

1:26:39 Adam Wow, that's great.

1:26:41 Caller Yeah.

1:26:42 Adam Wait a minute, she's lying in bed with you, right?

1:26:46 Caller Right.

1:26:47 Adam You have to explain to her that you had the second orgasm? She's lying right there.

1:26:52 Caller Well, I had kind of rolled over and did it, and she didn't know. I thought she did, and we talked about what had happened with her and the other guy.

1:27:01 Adam I say, did you have to throw away that mattress after that evening?

1:27:07 Caller Yeah. Big laundry bill.

1:27:09 Adam Jesus Christ. The thing would have to be dipped. Okay. So this is a common thing. Drew always scoffs at me when I say it is, but it is.

1:27:21 Drew What? What? What?

1:27:22 Adam For guys.

1:27:23 Drew Okay.

1:27:23 Adam They hear about this. I've done this before.

1:27:26 Drew What?

1:27:26 Adam You have some girlfriend. She starts telling you about some old boyfriend or some guy she was with when you guys broke up or whatever. And you're kind of angry but yet aroused and it kind of can't stop messing with that tooth that hurts with your tongue kind of way. This is a guy trait. I used to be this way myself. It's something when you stop producing testosterone, when you start producing estrogen. Actually, I now produce kitty litter. That's what I have in my veins so I feel nothing now. But you got that to look forward to, Eric. But I understand this. It's not a great sign. But on the other hand...

1:28:06 Drew In terms of how he feels about women.

1:28:08 Adam Yes. But on the other hand, you're an honest guy and you're calling the show and you're coming clean.

1:28:13 Drew He's 25. He's not 35.

1:28:15 Adam Right. So here's your work, Eric. You have feelings about women kind of a love-hate kind of thing, right?

1:28:24 Caller No. I really get along with women. I love women. I would choose a woman as a friend over a man.

1:28:33 Drew How about this particular one?

1:28:35 Caller I love her. I mean, she's perfect.

1:28:38 Adam But yet, you found yourself sort of angry and aroused at the thought of her being intimate.

1:28:46 Caller In our sex life, we had kind of worked in like, I guess like a story time kind of thing, where we would kind of make scenarios where we would be with other people or whatever.

1:28:57 Adam Well, these are wonderful stories. Yeah. I do that too. I go, here's the scenario. You're a deaf mute and I'm me. Ready?

1:29:11 Caller Suck! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah, it's great. It's a wild fantasy. You're a deaf mute who loves to fix sandwiches and all play the nappy-headed boy makes good from North Hollywood guy. And action. Listen, I'm not sure exactly what Eric, I don't know why Eric's calling then if it's all good.

1:29:37 Drew Well, he just weirded out by it and wondered if it was abnormal. It's not abnormal in any sort of clinical sense. It's, as you said, suggests that he has a little more aggression towards women than he might think. But whatever. He's funny.

1:29:49 Adam He says he loves them.

1:29:51 Drew I get that.

1:29:51 Adam The guys who love women don't, well, there is that, I mean, look, a guy could do this. I think it's a common fantasy. I don't think it's one that you identify with, Drew, but I identify with it.

1:30:04 Drew What's that?

1:30:05 Adam That chick who's been with the other guy fantasies. A lot of guys have that fantasy of...

1:30:11 Drew I got zero of that.

1:30:12 Adam You have zero. You have none of that. But I take my word for it, it's common. They're guys who like to see their woman with another guy. They found that very arousing. They're guys who like to fantasize about other guys or have them weave these tales about that. You're probably healthy. It's really probably the only one healthy thing about you, Drew. You should really just cling to it. Tom?

1:30:41 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:30:42 Adam You're 20. What's going on?

1:30:43 Caller Hey, now I know why you guys truly do have the dumbest listeners. Anyone that would call for two hours just to talk about their penis is insane.

1:30:51 Adam Yeah, well, that's true.

1:30:52 Caller I mean, it takes literally two hours to get through sometimes.

1:30:55 Caller My questions are going to my pecker.

1:30:57 Adam Sorry, buddy.

1:30:58 Caller I want to know, Adam, can you give me some advice on how to get into radio?

1:31:03 Adam I think you should just...

1:31:03 Drew Boxing. That's how Adam does it.

1:31:06 Adam You just got to... Here's the thing about radio, as far as I can tell.

1:31:12 Drew You got to go into a radio station.

1:31:13 Adam There's a lot of weak talent in radio, you know? All you got to do is get your foot in the door, and hang out, and then you get on the air. Once you get on the air, they can't get you off the air. Some kind of weird pack with the devil you make. You need to go down. Forget about taking classes at school. Just be in college, so you can intern.

1:31:37 Drew Or go to a college radio station.

1:31:40 Adam Yeah, you got to intern at a local radio station.

1:31:43 Drew Wait a minute, though. You've sort of advised to get that, because then you become the guy that answers the phone.

1:31:47 Adam No, I have not.

1:31:49 Drew You're not the guy that answers the phone.

1:31:50 Adam Just get to that radio station and get in there.

1:31:54 Caller What about, like, I live in a big market. Is it more difficult?

1:31:57 Drew Yes, obviously.

1:31:58 Caller Rather than, like, Iowa or whatever?

1:32:00 Drew Obviously.

1:32:02 Adam Bigger is always harder for everything. But, I mean, I got into radio in LA, and that's a big market. It can be done.

1:32:09 Caller So did Drew. Did you go off on a morning show there?

1:32:11 Adam Yeah.

1:32:13 Drew Tell your story. Tell your story.

1:32:14 Adam No, I don't want to tell it. I told it last week. But, hey, Tom? Yeah. If it's something you're really interested in, call Drew at home.

1:32:24 Drew If you're interested, hone your skills of communication. Don't worry about studying radio.

1:32:29 Adam Okay. Here's what I would do. Very good. Tom, if you're really interested in it, then get involved in theater, get involved in acting, get involved in improv, get involved in comedy, get involved in writing, get involved in all aspects of communication. Then go intern at whatever local radio station you can find. And, yeah, you're in a big market, but you're not asking to do morning drive time. You're just asking to get coffee and answer phones. And get in there, see how things run, and see if you can impress somebody.

1:32:58 Drew There you go.

1:32:59 Adam Thank you. We'll take a little break, and we'll be right back with more radio after this. All right. Ten hours until oral surgery. We'll go home and have a real, real nice, nice, nice sleep tonight.

1:33:52 Drew I'm sure you will.

1:33:53 Adam All right.

1:33:55 Caller The, yeah.

1:33:56 Adam What is that show there, Drew? I was just talking about Undeclared, coming in tomorrow night to cast. It's a new Fox show. It's been out a couple of months, I think, and it's getting real good ratings and good reviews. And the, I hear nothing but good about it. So those kids will be in tomorrow night. We'll be glad to see them then. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo. Are you an asshole in real life, too? You're like a 16-year-old girl. And I just looked at it and I said, beat it.

1:34:29 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 11, 2001