Episode 1000754886904

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:18 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. Doug and Dan are both here from, now let me pronounce this right, Hoobastank.

1:37 Hoobastank Hooba.

1:38 Adam Hooba.

1:38 Hoobastank It's an H.

1:39 Adam Oh, but shouldn't that H be silent somehow? You can't articulate yourself any better than that. Hoobastank is in the house tonight. We saw Hoobastank when we were assigning calendars over an lovely, lovely, beautiful Hawthorne, home of the no-discount stereo store. Drew, you son of a bitch.

2:01 Drew I got the discount.

2:03 Voiceover Drew, listen to this move, Drew Pohl's. Drew is, what, you half-Jew, Drew? I think you're one and a half-Jew. Drew goes insane. Drew's like, we can get a discount from the store manager. I'm like, what are you buying? He's buying his daughter $159 boombox. You get 10 percent off, you save $15. Huge. Huge. Drew's going nuts. Let's get in there. Let's get in the Best Buy. There's the manager, we can get something. So I'm buying three, 400 bucks worth of stuff. I got my stuff all laid out, ready to pay for it. Drew pays for his stuff, gets the discount, then says to the manager, hey, where's the bathroom? The guy goes, I'll show you. He walks Drew to the back of the store. Meanwhile, his buddy rings me up at full price, and I get no discount. Drew, it was like something, it was really something out of a movie. It was like you distracted.

2:58 Drew Yeah, you thought it was sort of coincidental.

3:00 Adam You actually took the guy who was going to give me the discount away from the register right at the time.

3:06 Hoobastank You took him so you could schmooze with him, huh?

3:07 Adam, you fell for the banana in the tailpipe.

3:09 Adam Yeah, it was brutal.

3:11 Drew Maybe the guy just said, hey, you have the smaller purchase, I'll give you the discount, but distract, you know, make it look like when Adam's buying all that stuff.

3:18 Adam Speaking of the banana in the tailpipe is another one. That Drew does that when we're on the road, but that's a little bizarre. I don't even know how he knew about that one. But I think what we should do with Hoobastank is hear the song that I love so much because they're a new band.

3:38 Drew What's your theme? No.

3:40 Adam No, Hoobastank is not my theme song, but this is my theme song.

3:46 Hoobastank It's a great record.

3:47 Yeah.

3:48 Adam But Hoobastank is the one I've been going, this is a great riff and it may soon become my new theme song.

3:56 All right. What do we got to do to make it your new theme song?

4:00 Adam Nothing.

4:02 Drew Take them to the back of that Best Buy.

4:04 Adam We'll just-

4:04 I can get you some discounts there.

4:06 Adam We'll just make it my new theme song. Sorry I'm all sweaty. I was actually exercising and I ran out of time and I'm all sweating, covered with stuff. So let's hear something from Hoobastank. You got it queued up there, Anderson? This is called Crawling in the Dark. Yeah, my new theme song, Hoobastank, everybody.

7:18 Hoobastank You're still saying it without a silent H.

7:19 Adam I said Hooba. I gave half an H, I gave like a small H on that, Hooba.

7:25 We should put an H in front of his name, Hadam.

7:27 Adam Stank. Yeah, that'll remind me. House of Blues, everybody, is at tomorrow night.

7:32 Yeah.

7:33 Adam Who are you going to be there with? Just you?

7:35 Hoobastank No, we're playing with, well, it's our CD release party. But there's a band called Lost Profits from Wales.

7:42 Adam Really?

7:42 Hoobastank Some really cool guys, yeah, and another band called Handsome Devil from Orange County. Both really cool bands. We've been touring with them for about a month.

7:50 Adam Oh, good. Well, tomorrow night. Are there tickets available? No.

7:54 Hoobastank No.

7:54 But they should go down there anyways and try to break in.

7:56 Adam Yeah. I think that would make you guys feel good if someone got hurt outside.

8:00 Hoobastank There might be some scalpers down there.

8:02 Adam Really?

8:02 Hoobastank Yeah, maybe, hopefully.

8:04 Adam Most bands say, and Drew, stop me if I'm wrong, but where there's a will, there's a way to get in. As far as sold out shows and things go. I agree.

8:12 I agree. If you want to get in bad enough tomorrow, I'm sure you'll find a way.

8:16 Adam Right.

8:16 Hoobastank You just get there and you just walk in.

8:18 Drew They almost always release a couple dozen seats somewhere sometime, right? Somebody is holding some seats and they, hopefully.

8:25 Adam I don't know. I think the important thing is to, when you go and try to get into a place that you're not supposed to get into, pretend like you own the place. That's so true.

8:34 Hoobastank I used to sneak into concerts all the time.

8:35 We used to do that all the time.

8:38 Hoobastank I would go to concerts and find the excess part of a wristband and just collect them and I would tape them together and put them around my wrist and I would walk through the backstage entrance all the time. We would do that stuff all the time.

8:49 Adam Well, I know the best way to steal something is when you forget you're holding it and you walk out of the store because you're totally relaxed. You stop and look around and talk to people while you're holding it in your hand. And if you knew you were stealing it, you'd be sweating bullets and you'd get busted. But if you have bravado and attitude, you'll get by. I like the pieces of wristband idea though.

9:14 Hoobastank It works.

9:15 You know what also works? If you go to amusement parks and you scribble a little bit of the fluorescent marker on your hand, it's scraping around like that.

9:22 Hoobastank You can re-enter that way.

9:23 You can just go whoop and pass it in a thing.

9:25 Hoobastank Yeah. I used to stand outside of Universal Studios. This is a true story. I used to stand outside of Universal Studios with a fluorescent highlighter pen. And I'd find people that were looking at the ticket prices and I would tell them that I can get them in for $10 instead of $30. And I would give them a little, right there on their hand. I would do that to them and I'd walk them in. And I would tell them that they didn't have to pay me until I walked them in. And I made like $150 in a day.

9:46 Adam Jesus Christ.

9:47 Hoobastank And then Doug and I got caught one time.

9:49 I got caught because I was walking through with it.

9:51 Adam What happened?

9:52 They pulled me aside and like, oh, that's not the right... It was like completely wrong color. It was like we had a yellow marker.

9:57 Hoobastank I'm already in the park and this guy gets caught.

9:59 He was already in the park and they pulled me aside and I'm trying to talk my way out of this. Oh, this is what they gave me.

10:05 Adam This brings up an interesting point, which is especially with current events going on. We worry so much about security, but what about exploiting it for our advantage? You know what I mean? Why shouldn't we take some of these $6 an hour retards and really make them work for us? We're so worried about terrorists. Why don't we hop in on this gravy train? You know what I mean? Amusement parks, concerts, things like that. Bring the machetes on to planes. What's, I mean, I'm saying let's make lemonade out of lemons.

10:34 Drew Drew, you with me?

10:35 Adam Drew, you never broke. I've broken in Universal Studios.

10:38 Drew No, can't say that.

10:38 Adam Never done that?

10:39 Drew No.

10:40 Adam You know, I used to go through Victoria Station, that restaurant.

10:44 Hoobastank Long ago. We broke in there one time in my car. This was another time. I was driving in my car, and I got in the back lots. And I hid Doug and two of my other friends under some blankets in the back of my car.

10:54 We drove around every place we could.

10:57 Hoobastank I went inside the disciple house.

10:58 We got on videotape.

10:59 Drew Is there anything in there?

11:00 Hoobastank No, it's just wood.

11:02 Adam Yeah, facade.

11:02 We got this videotape of us following a tram around in a circle. And everybody was videotaping us, and we were videotaping them. We ran around the back of the future set.

11:11 Drew Sounds like a new video.

11:13 Adam All right. Let's take some calls and speak to Amanda, who's 20. Amanda?

11:18 Yes?

11:18 Adam What's up?

11:19 Well, me and my boyfriend have been having sex.

11:23 Adam Oh, sorry. All right.

11:25 Anyway, every time that we do, we use a condom. And no matter what brand of condom we use, I always get an infection with it. And I don't know, I don't know.

11:36 Drew Have you had sex without condoms?

11:38 Yeah, I have.

11:39 Drew And you get infections then?

11:41 No.

11:42 Drew So it's really just condom?

11:43 Yeah.

11:44 Drew Have you tried the polyurethane condom?

11:45 The what?

11:46 Drew Polyurethane?

11:47 Caller No, I haven't.

11:48 Drew How about animal skin?

11:50 Caller No.

11:51 Drew All right. So you really haven't tried the different kind of condom?

11:52 Adam I've tried every different kind of condom except for the other 66% of the kinds of condoms.

11:58 Drew Right, except the other two kinds. Right.

12:00 Caller I really never had those, so I didn't.

12:01 Adam Not even half.

12:02 Drew You may have some sort of latex allergy or sensitivity, and you do need to check these other types out. Are you worried about infection, STDs with this guy?

12:10 Caller No.

12:10 Drew It's just for birth control?

12:11 Caller Yeah.

12:12 Drew Then go check out polyurethane and animal skin.

12:15 Adam Why don't you get on the pill?

12:18 Caller I, you know, I don't really know.

12:21 Drew And that would be the next thing. Why not get on some more reliable means of contraception?

12:24 I'd look into it too.

12:26 Drew And he was such as it is. You're on the pill now?

12:29 Hoobastank Yeah, it's amazing. My boobs are bigger than his.

12:31 Adam I can see that. He was a small B, small B when I saw that.

12:35 Drew No.

12:36 Adam Small, swear to Christ, small B. He's a healthy C, healthy C now.

12:40 Hoobastank When I jog, my boobies.

12:43 Drew And sports bras take care of them.

12:45 Adam And he doesn't know if people like him because of his music now.

12:48 Hoobastank Boobies just sound so funny coming out of a guy's mouth. When you're burning your breasts, his boobies are hurting.

12:54 Drew Amanda, here you go. The morning after pill is something you need to keep around nonetheless, because those condoms fail once in a while. And if they do, you can take this contraceptive after the fact. That'll prevent that from becoming a pregnancy, okay? All right.

13:04 Adam All right.

13:05 Drew Animal skin, polyurethane. And, Adam, why do we bother? Why animal skin? Why must we call them that?

13:12 Adam I don't. I mean, it's gut, right?

13:14 Drew I know.

13:14 Animal innards?

13:17 Adam I don't know. I make it's like haggis on your junk. You dip your junk in haggis. Well, what it's, it's stomach, it's lining, it's intestine.

13:25 Drew It's penis haggis.

13:26 Adam Is it, ironically, is it the stuff that's sausage casing, essentially? I mean, sausage casing is.

13:32 Drew Honestly, I don't know.

13:33 I don't know.

13:34 Adam Well, I mean, they used to make string tennis rackets with, did they use cat gut?

13:39 Drew Yeah.

13:39 It was cat.

13:40 Adam Why cats?

13:42 Why not?

13:42 Adam Yeah, why not? What are they doing? Sitting around, hocking up fur balls and scratching up furniture. Why not? Yeah. Tennis rackets out of cat, and they used to do bladders like in soccer balls out of animal stuff.

13:57 Drew Pig bladders, yeah.

13:58 Adam All right. Good times.

13:59 Drew I guess they called those pig skins even when they were bladders.

14:02 Adam All right. So find out, Drew, find out, or somebody tell us what part of the sheep this condom is made out of. My God, wouldn't you want like $400 a condom if you were manufacturing condoms out of sheep gut?

14:18 Drew Why? What do you mean?

14:18 Adam I mean, you couldn't charge it. How are you going to make a profit at $1.50 a condom when you're having to manufacture them out of this material?

14:26 Drew It must be something that they cast away otherwise.

14:28 Adam Some by-product?

14:29 Drew Yeah, something they wouldn't deal with.

14:31 It's like condom hot dogs, just like all the leftovers.

14:33 Adam Right. Oh, I see. It's like sheep hooves. They raise sheep, they just take this one six inch part of their intestine and throw away the rest of the body.

14:42 They make rackets out of the rest of the body now.

14:45 Adam Jamie, is that Jamie?

14:47 Yeah.

14:48 Adam What's up there, Jamie?

14:51 What's up with you?

14:51 Adam You're 18. You spell your name with two E's that way?

14:55 Caller Oh, she didn't ask me how to spell it.

14:57 Adam Oh, okay.

14:57 Drew I think that's a typo.

14:59 Adam Okay.

15:00 Caller Okay. I've been with my boyfriend for like two months now and I've met his family and everything and gone over there all the time and he's against meeting my family and he's also really distant towards me. He won't be affectionate towards me at all. It's all on me.

15:19 Hoobastank Do not kiss me.

15:20 Adam How long have you been with him?

15:22 Caller About almost two months.

15:24 Drew Maybe he's not ready to move it along that way. Maybe he's afraid that you're going to get the wrong idea in terms of how committed he is.

15:30 Caller Well, I know like in his last relationship he really got hurt and I know he might want to get well.

15:36 Drew Well, whatever. Let's forget about take it out of that and just look at his action in the present.

15:40 Caller Okay.

15:41 Drew He doesn't want to be overly committed. He doesn't want to get this moving too quickly. He doesn't want you to feel like you're taking him home to meet everybody and that he has to feel the pressure of a commitment.

15:51 Caller He's like, I don't like to meet the parents. But I mean, if you're dating me, it's eventually going to have to happen. He's older too. That's what I think.

15:59 Caller How much older?

16:00 Caller He's 22.

16:02 Drew That's interesting that he brought her home, which is usually even a later stage thing. Yeah.

16:07 Caller Well, he lived with his mom.

16:09 Adam But then again, his folks probably think he's gay. I was going to say. Look, vagina. Look, I'm banging at you.

16:16 Drew He doesn't want to deal with the shame of meeting her parents and then disappointing them if he breaks up with her, you see.

16:23 Adam Well, no guy wants to meet anyone's parents.

16:26 Caller I don't know. I think it just adds more pressure, like you said.

16:29 Adam And plus, it's a weird thing. Yeah, hi. I'm banging your daughter. Thank you.

16:35 Caller That's what I say all the time.

16:36 Adam Beautiful blow job. Swallow. Thank you, Mrs. That's something. What a nature nurture. Thank you.

16:41 Hoobastank I was with a girl for five years and I hated going to her house.

16:46 Adam It's always weird.

16:47 Drew You feel guilty?

16:48 Hoobastank I just always felt weird around.

16:50 Drew You're afraid dad's going to just take out a clock here.

16:52 Hoobastank Well, I mean, her dad wasn't the coolest guy, but it was kind of uncomfortable.

16:57 Well, why did you feel weird about it?

16:59 Hoobastank Because her dad was kind of a dick.

17:02 Drew And he was-

17:02 Caller I assumed that.

17:03 Hoobastank Wasn't he? Wasn't he, Doug? He was just- I didn't like her mom.

17:06 Caller No, no, seriously. It can be intimidating, especially.

17:09 Drew You can believe that dad isn't a dick. There's a certain amount of guilt, I think, guys have.

17:14 Caller Well, how long do you think I should give him? Because I mean, I just feel weird. Because I'm all cuddly and affectionate towards him, and I feel stupid if he just sits there.

17:21 Drew Well, you've got to have a conversation with him about where you think this relationship is going. He may just be sort of- What does that book call this? Good For Now. This is just Good For Now for him. And if that's not what you want, you better move on.

17:34 Adam So, a few different levels. A, guys are a little weirded out because they've spent the last six months trying to talk you into anal, and now they're breaking bread with dad. So, that's always a weird one. But B, number two-

17:47 We don't understand that's weird.

17:48 Adam Well, here's the other thing. I think, and I think most guys will agree with this, you look at a situation like hanging with their parents as lose-lose. There's no win in it. Meaning, there's just nothing good that could come of it. The best thing you'll do is break even.

18:07 Drew Right.

18:08 Adam Like you'll walk away going, yeah, he's all right, I'll see him next year. But you could really screw up or they could screw up.

18:15 Drew Why wouldn't a woman understand that that's weird for a guy? Isn't that funny?

18:18 Caller Doesn't that happen to girls too? If they don't want to be that committed in a relationship, they don't want to bring every guy they meet, or dating for a little bit home to meet the whole family. It makes it that much deeper.

18:31 Adam I think it's more the statement of he doesn't want to do it. I think it would be all right if he didn't do it as long as she thought he would do it.

18:38 Drew Or is it that if a woman's dating a guy more than a few weeks, they're all the way in? While guys can still not be limbo, good enough for you?

18:45 Adam Well, it's a good point. There's that weird window from August to February. No, not August to February. If you start dating someone in August, September, then it gets weird around the holidays because you're too close. It's a weird window. Now, if you started dating them in May, you're definitely in for Thanksgiving. If you started dating them in November, you're out for Thanksgiving because it's only been three weeks. But you start working that August, September window and it's all weird around Christmas and Thanksgiving, especially if you're just in it to get laid and it's been five and a half weeks.

19:27 Drew I don't think one would stay in a relationship just to get laid. Not like that. They don't understand what the guy is doing. They can't imagine it. Hey, speaking of holidays, you have not. I'm sorely disappointed in you this year, Adam. No, right.

19:41 Adam Cranberries, yes.

19:44 Drew You want to save that for David Allen Grier tomorrow night or you want to do a little bit of that tonight?

19:47 Adam Well, tomorrow I will give my recipe for cranberry sauce and I will just say this. People think it's okay to open a can of cranberries on Thanksgiving and it's gotten to the point where a lot of folks even enjoy the can stuff just because they have low self-esteem or they're stupid or it's something they were reared on. But I would like to reverse this ugly trend of people opening cans around the holidays and especially they cook everything by hand, they spend all day in the kitchen and at the end of the day, there goes that can of cranberries. And I now bring cranberry sauce with me to Thanksgiving events. I pulled some out.

20:28 Caller How do you make it?

20:29 Adam Well, see, this is the... I'm glad you asked that, Doug. This is the part that really steams my bean. Here's how you make cranberry sauce. You take a sack of cranberries.

20:41 Drew 99 cents.

20:42 Adam Yes. You know, the loose whole cranberries you see around this time of year? You put that sack of cranberries into a small pot with about a cup or two of water in it. And then you take like half a cup of sugar and you dump it in there. You put the lid on it. You bring it to a boil in about six minutes. And then when it cools off, it's cranberry sauce.

21:01 Drew Pow.

21:01 Hoobastank Oh, boom.

21:03 Adam It is easier than... It is as easy as making like top ramen or Kraft macaroni and cheese.

21:10 Drew Mix in some walnuts and...

21:11 Adam Yeah, you could put a little lemon zest.

21:13 Caller Walnuts in cranberry sauce?

21:15 Adam You could. You could do some lemon peel or whatever. But the point is...

21:19 Drew Not if it's out of the can, that's the point.

21:20 Caller Right, right, right. We're anti-can here. I get this.

21:22 Adam For the amount of time it takes you to make a Kraft macaroni and cheese, you could easily make fresh cranberry sauce that is delectable. Or you could get the canned stuff that's serrated. You know, it actually has the shape of the can in it, like dog food.

21:35 Caller In jelly form.

21:36 Adam Oh, what is up with people in that? It drives me insane. The point is, is if I can do it, anyone can do it.

21:43 Caller There you go.

21:43 Adam That's my point. Tomorrow, I'm really gonna get a good recipe going though, so you'll wanna be listening. Ian?

21:49 Caller That was great.

21:51 Adam Thank you.

21:53 Drew You're enlightening the world, that's good.

21:55 Adam Ian, you're 15. Tomorrow night, I'm gonna do 20 minutes on why pie should replace cake at birthday.

22:00 Drew No, no.

22:01 Adam Yes. Oh, yes.

22:02 Drew Let's just talk about the type of pie for this.

22:03 Caller Okay.

22:04 Adam All right.

22:04 Caller All right.

22:04 Adam Go ahead, Ian.

22:05 Caller Adam, you're a genius. I love you, man.

22:08 Adam Thank you.

22:08 Caller All right. And Drew, leave the show. It's gotta be just the Adam show that would boost ratings so high. Thank God for Dr. Drew, not Dr. Adam.

22:20 I don't see a doctor in front of your name, Mr. Big Mouth.

22:24 Adam Save it, Alan Greer. Tomorrow night, everybody. All right, Ian.

22:27 Go ahead. Okay.

22:28 Caller Anyhow, here's what happened. I was I went over to my friend's house expecting that he would be there and he wasn't his mom. His mom told me that I could wait upstairs for him to come back. And she came in the room with me and she just pretty much started to give me oral sex. Oh, and he put me on the bed.

22:54 Drew What room were you in?

22:55 Caller Pardon?

22:56 Drew What room are you guys in?

22:57 Caller I was in his room.

22:58 His room.

23:01 Caller And then she put me on the bed and she pretty much just...

23:05 Adam Oral, huh?

23:06 Caller She went the whole way. I was trying to get up. This was weird. And I want to go tell the authorities or something.

23:15 Adam Sure, sure. But the problem is you're gay. It's rape, that's what it is. We were violated.

23:24 Caller My best friend's father is in jail for...

23:27 Adam Murder one?

23:28 Caller No, armed robbery. And so if I got her in trouble, he's already pretty messed up, but I don't want to do that to him.

23:39 Adam What was she wearing?

23:43 Caller She had a bathrobe on.

23:44 Drew When did this happen?

23:46 Caller It was about a couple weeks ago.

23:48 Drew A couple weeks ago, about.

23:50 Adam What color was the bathrobe?

23:52 Caller What color was the bathrobe?

23:53 Drew And what was she wearing underneath?

23:56 Caller She was wearing... Qualified? No, shut up, Gary. No, she was wearing a black lace bra and matching panties.

24:09 Drew And what color was the bathrobe?

24:11 Caller The bathrobe was white.

24:12 Drew And what time of day was this?

24:14 Caller It was about four o'clock.

24:16 Drew She was hanging out in her black lace panties before the end of the day.

24:20 Adam Well, you know, when you're...

24:22 Hoobastank What was the address?

24:22 Caller I do it all the time.

24:23 Hoobastank The address, wasn't I?

24:24 Adam Old man's in the joint, you know.

24:25 Caller I went over before, and she had just been, like, in the bathroom to enter the door or something. And that was, like, totally, you know, I didn't think she was going to try and pull crap on me.

24:33 Caller How old are you again?

24:35 Adam What? So why did you go up there if you didn't want to do it?

24:39 Caller Because, no, I went up to his room to wait. Wait for him. I didn't know she was going to come up there and do that.

24:45 Adam All right. And you're you're angry?

24:47 Caller I'm angry at her, but I don't want to get.

24:50 Drew You're gay.

24:52 Adam Drew, please.

24:53 Screw you, Drew.

24:54 Adam Yeah, Drew. You shouldn't even be on the show. So we get some ratings. Get rid of Drew. Get some real ratings. Stand straight. For change. Hi, Ian. Hold on a second. I want to talk to the the boys from Hoobastank and Dr. Who. You should be moving on. Dr. Who.

25:14 Caller Dr. Who?

25:15 Adam Yeah.

25:17 Drew I'm already left.

25:17 Adam Listen, this guy, I hate this kid, by the way, even though he does have a very valid point with getting rid of Drew. He's such a prick, this little guy. On the other hand-

25:27 Drew That's the kind of prick that would get themselves involved in something like this. Yeah.

25:30 Adam There's nothing worse than like fresh-mouthed punks. I just want to clobber them. I don't know what that is. But I believe him. He's pretty brazen for a guy making a story up.

25:44 Caller I'm walking that line whether I go, wow or no way.

25:48 Adam Let me tell you, the number one bogus call on this show is I got it on with my friend's mom. That's number one in the bogus apartment. Although, if she's really chaotic and screwed up and his old man is in jail, she could be just whacked out enough. I mean, she could just be home on disability drinking Robitussin all day, just all effed up out of her mind.

26:10 Drew Right. And this will be the kind of prick that would.

26:14 Adam Yeah. But on the other hand, since I know he's 15, but he sounds like a Vietnam vet. And what's so bad about a BJ? And it's been two weeks.

26:24 Hoobastank Every kid dreams about this.

26:25 Adam I know.

26:27 Caller I mean, this is for real.

26:28 Adam I'm a little perplexed. Let's just treat it as if it is. Ian?

26:33 Caller Yeah.

26:34 Adam All right. So you want to call the cops on her? Is that what you want to do?

26:37 Caller Well, OK. First of all, be telling my parents.

26:40 Drew What?

26:40 Adam Telling your parents?

26:41 Caller Yes, telling my parents.

26:42 Drew All right. That's fine.

26:43 Adam All right. I'll go for it.

26:44 Caller And then seeing what they want to go.

26:45 Adam All right.

26:46 Caller And Adam, after all the praise I gave you for you turning around and just stabbed the knife in my back, that was so not cool.

26:52 Adam You're right. You're right. That was that was putting a knife in your back. All right, Ian. Prick. Listen, now listen, I still I still appreciate what you said about getting rid of Drew. I'm going to make some phone calls after the show and see what we can do. All right. Tell you. OK, do it. Tell your parents and and they are the adults and let them be your guide. It sounds like you have good enough, a good enough family.

27:16 Drew Someone. How could he have a good enough family? Hey, why? What's wrong with that?

27:21 Adam Oh, true.

27:24 Caller He loves you even more.

27:25 Adam This boy was traumatized.

27:26 Drew But you know what I'm saying? How could he have a good enough family? And number two, what 15 year old on earth has the ability to talk about something like that?

27:35 Adam With their parents?

27:35 Caller Yeah, I don't know how I would have done it.

27:38 Drew It's totally bogus. It doesn't fit. It doesn't fit. It doesn't fit. But so let's say go to a teacher or somebody at school you trust.

27:44 Adam Okay. Bogus, but talk to someone about it anyway.

27:47 Drew Well, if you're the kind of person that's like Ian, don't go to your parents.

27:51 Adam Okay. Thank you very much.

27:55 Caller That's all we need from you, Jill.

27:56 Adam Dan and Doug here. The McKenzie brothers. No way. What were those McKenzie brothers' names? Bob and Doug. Sorry. Drew, you know nothing. You're not even on the show as of tomorrow anyway. Hoobastank, everybody. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

28:11 Caller This is your radio radio. Loveline will be right back.

28:43 Caller Hello, this is Billy Duffy and Ian Asprey from The Cult, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

28:50 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. Oh, yeah, you already heard that part. Hoobastank is our guest tonight. Who?

28:57 Caller Who?

28:59 Hoobastank Hoobastank.

29:00 Adam They, that's the name of the CD as well. I got some tour dates for them.

29:05 Hoobastank Did you know that the CD came out today? Did anybody tell you?

29:07 Adam Today? Yeah.

29:08 Hoobastank It's a release date.

29:08 Adam Well, I figured it was out.

29:09 Hoobastank Hip, hip, hooray. It is out. It came out today.

29:11 Drew San Francisco on the 2nd of December, Vegas on the 7th, Tampa, Arizona on the 8th, Colorado Springs 10th, Denver on the 11th. My God. Chicago on the 12th. This is all December dates. Cincinnati 13th, Cleveland 14th, Detroit 17th, Houston 21st, Dallas 22nd.

29:27 Hoobastank Jesus Christ.

29:28 Drew That's too much. Is this all on a bus?

29:30 Hoobastank Yes.

29:31 Caller A Volkswagen bus.

29:32 Hoobastank The bus is crazy.

29:33 Drew Portland on November 30th, Seattle 29th. That's all next week.

29:36 Hoobastank Or you could just go to the website and check all that out.

29:39 Adam Give that.

29:40 Hoobastank It's hoobastank.com.

29:41 Caller H-O-O-B-A-S-T-A-N-K.

29:43 Adam All right. So you can find out all the tour dates and when they're coming to a town near you.

29:46 Drew So I don't say on the 5th.

29:47 Caller True that.

29:48 Adam All right.

29:49 Drew Yeah. Since I'm leaving the show tonight, I just feel obliged to bring this up.

29:54 Adam Yeah. You'll be leaving, I think, after the next break.

29:56 Drew Yeah. Before I go, we just had this huge laugh on your expense, actually.

30:02 Caller Oh, all right.

30:03 Drew The ladies were mentioning that the other night when you bent over to pick up something on the floor, you picked up something on the floor a couple of nights ago, that your-

30:12 Caller What?

30:12 Drew Your ass hair impressed the hell out of them.

30:15 Adam Thank you.

30:16 Caller Dan, your ass hair impresses the hell out of me.

30:17 Drew They were very moved. Thank you.

30:20 Adam Thank you.

30:20 Drew I just thought I would bring that up before I go.

30:22 Adam All right. Drew, you're just getting... It's departing shots of a dying man, everybody. Get it all out, buddy. And this mug ain't going. That's Westwood One property, so you have to leave the mug-

30:34 Drew I just want my shots before I go.

30:35 Adam In the chair.

30:37 All right.

30:38 Adam Amy?

30:39 Yeah.

30:39 Adam You're 21?

30:40 Caller Yeah.

30:41 Adam What's up?

30:42 Caller I was calling to ask Dr. Drew a question. Me and my husband are trying to conceive with our second child, and I was just wondering, I have that little wheel that I stole from the doctor's office, you know, when to conceive and stuff. So I was wondering, is there a certain time of the day the best to conceive?

31:00 Drew Not that I'm aware of. There's certainly a day that's the best, but I don't know if there's a certain time during that day.

31:05 Adam Well, shouldn't you take your basal temperature?

31:07 Drew Yeah, it's within 24 hours of ovulation.

31:10 Caller Yeah.

31:11 Adam Well, what, does your temperature go up? Where's that thermometer go? In the vagina?

31:16 Caller Why do you take no temperature?

31:18 Adam Shush up.

31:19 Drew Why aren't you doing the temperature monitoring?

31:22 Caller Because I didn't need that with my first child. Why would I need it with my second?

31:25 Drew Well, didn't you just say you took a timing wheel?

31:28 Caller No, it's just, yeah, it's a little wheel.

31:30 Drew All right, well, if you're into the timing, one of the ways to sort of refine that timing is a basal body temperature monitor. There are kits you can get in the pharmacy that help you do that. There is a definite 24-hour window that is optimal for conception.

31:42 Caller Now, how many days do you ovulate? Because on that wheel, it just says that the conception has only one day. I thought it was four days when you ovulate.

31:49 Drew No, there's three days that the sperm can hang out waiting for that egg. Sperm will stay in the tube for three days. But there is 24 hours during which ovulation occurs.

31:58 Caller Okay, and how soon can I find out? You'll see, because I knew I was pregnant with a baby.

32:02 Adam What do you want Drew to do? Come over there and bang you too?

32:05 Caller Heck no.

32:06 Adam All right, well listen, go get that kit. You go get the kit, you'll figure it all out. Why do you want to get pregnant? You're 21, you already got a kid.

32:14 Caller Because I'm only having two kids and I want to get them done and ovulet while I'm young so I can still have fun when I get older.

32:20 Adam That's a good way to do it. Just, yeah, well you can still just chain them to the radiator and go out and drink.

32:24 Drew I mean, you're 40, sure.

32:26 Adam No, you can do it now. They're going anywhere.

32:28 Caller No, my mom did that to me. I don't think it's going to work.

32:30 Drew Shocked.

32:31 Adam Hey, Amy.

32:33 Caller Yeah.

32:33 Adam I bet you would make a better mom at 28 than you would at 21.

32:38 Caller I'm a perfect mom now.

32:40 Drew No.

32:40 Adam You sound pissed off to be a perfect mom.

32:43 Drew Yeah, Amy, no one is not better at 28 than 21.

32:47 Adam What's your mom do to you?

32:49 Caller You know, my mom had four kids by 21, had her fifth at 25.

32:53 Drew So you're going to try to outdo that?

32:55 Caller No, heck no. I'm only having two.

32:57 Adam So then what? So what'd she do? What was wrong with that?

33:00 Caller Well, I left my mom's house when I was 13, so.

33:02 Adam Why?

33:03 Caller Well, I ended up in the system.

33:05 Drew Why?

33:06 Caller Because I decided to steal my grandma's car.

33:09 Drew What was she doing to you to make you so disturbed?

33:11 Caller My stepdad was.

33:12 Adam Stepdad, that's what I was thinking. What was he doing?

33:15 Caller He just beat me a lot when he got bored.

33:18 Adam Okay.

33:19 Caller I would run away a lot and, you know, she'd call the cops and I'd be back and run away.

33:23 Drew You've got to be careful. You're going to have a tendency to want to physicalize your feelings towards your children, too.

33:29 Caller Yeah. I don't hit my son enough for the reason.

33:33 Drew Yeah. I understand. But as he gets older and whoever the next child is, when you get overwhelmed, that's the direction you're going to go.

33:40 Adam What about your boyfriend?

33:43 Caller My husband?

33:43 Adam Husband. Yeah, husband.

33:44 Caller What about him?

33:45 Drew Is he an addict or is he physical?

33:47 Caller No. He actually is very good. He's a stockbroker.

33:49 Adam All right.

33:50 Caller He's a very good guy.

33:51 Adam All right there, baby.

33:52 Caller Good times. But I have another question for Dr. Drew. I've seen you on Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars. And I've seen them when they gave you those G-strings. Do you remember that?

34:03 Drew I don't remember that.

34:05 Adam You don't remember getting a G-string?

34:07 Drew Sounds good. I must have.

34:09 Adam I've seen that G-string up your ass.

34:11 Drew I must have put that out of my mind.

34:12 Caller It was a Tiger Stripe G-string they gave you.

34:15 Drew Did I wear it?

34:16 Caller I was wondering if you were. You didn't put it on there.

34:18 Drew No. I didn't wear that.

34:20 Adam That's not why. Listen, that whole thong bag thing for guys would be a disaster, potential disaster. Would not work right.

34:29 Caller I would not like to see that.

34:31 Adam No. Not only that, but the thing would be ruined. Ruined.

34:35 Caller Why would it be ruined?

34:37 Adam I can't get into real detail about it, but stuff goes in my ass once and that's it. There's no second pass.

34:46 Drew It doesn't emerge.

34:47 Adam It doesn't come back out again. That's it. It's like the Devil's Triangle. Boats, planes, they go in, they don't come out.

34:54 Caller In your ass?

34:55 Adam Yeah, in my ass.

34:56 Caller That's amazing.

34:56 Adam Thank you. All right. Well, Amy's going to be a great mother.

35:00 Oh, boy.

35:04 Adam Yeah, my stepdad had beat me pretty good, but don't worry. I'm going to make it all right with my kiddies. Knock a few of them out real quick. Then I can go out and have myself a good time and only be in my late 30s. That's the plan. All right. She worked that all out. Michael?

35:22 Oh, hi.

35:23 Adam Hey, you're 12. What's up? You're so young.

35:26 Caller Yeah, just a middle school kid.

35:27 Adam All right. What grade are you in?

35:30 Caller Seventh.

35:30 Adam Seventh grade. Wow.

35:32 Caller Yeah. I'm just sort of scared. But I told this one girl I liked her after I sat next to her for a while, and we used to talk all the time. It's like how I'm talking with my best friend because I'm in the house right now. It was so easy. But after I told her I liked her, it's like.

35:54 Drew It's kind of weird, huh?

35:55 Caller Yeah. It's just like.

35:56 Drew Is it weird because you're thinking it's weird or did she get kind of weird on you?

36:00 Caller Sort of both ways. I got scared around her and she got scared around me.

36:06 Caller Does she like you?

36:08 Caller I don't know. I have really no clue because one of my friends, Kristen, is also her friend, like talked to her for me and she said that she said she just liked me as a friend.

36:18 Adam There you go. This is the beginning of a long, long life, Michael.

36:23 Caller Yeah.

36:23 Caller Very long.

36:25 Adam Yeah. We're going to have to give you a makeover on your 13th birthday because this friend thing. Now, here's the deal. That's fine that she likes you as just a friend, but you move on now. Yeah.

36:38 Caller It's better than not liking you at all. That's what I think.

36:41 Adam No, not actually. No, it's actually quite a bit worse.

36:43 Caller I don't know, man. You can plant that seed for later on, you know, maybe a few years down the road.

36:47 Adam Now, hold on. Hold on. You are sending a very dangerous message right now. You're giving this boy hope when he deserves none.

36:55 Caller Forget about it, man.

36:56 Adam There you go.

36:57 Caller Yeah, like, I know that you are like extremely slim.

37:01 Adam Yeah, they are. That's all right. But you can find another girl.

37:05 Caller I liked her more than I've ever liked anyone, though. Like, I like this one girl.

37:09 Drew Yeah, listen, you're 12. The great joy in all this. This won't be the last time you'll go through this.

37:14 Hoobastank Right.

37:14 Drew This is just the beginning.

37:15 Hoobastank I think he should find the ugliest girl in his class and go for her because she's going to be hot in about four years.

37:22 Adam Yeah, that's an interesting... She's going to be the hottest girl in high school.

37:25 Drew No, the problems will be like six years.

37:29 Caller Two years out of high school.

37:29 Hoobastank So in a couple of years, find the ugliest girl.

37:33 Adam But let me tell you, I had that happen. I had a really ugly girlfriend in the seventh grade who turned out to be really hot, like in the 10th and 11th grade, but she just dumped me. I should have had her sign something. You see, that's what happens. They get hot and they dump you. It's not like, jeez, I got to stay with this guy until college.

37:54 Hoobastank But at least you can say, hey, I went out with that girl.

37:57 Adam Yeah, I got a lot of mileage out of that. I'm still actually throwing that around. All right. Hoobastank is our guest tonight. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Josh. He's totally in love with his ex-girlfriend. He wants to know how we can get her back. This ain't going to be pretty after this. Hey everybody, it's Love Line. And I'm Adam, that's Drew. Hoobastank is our guest tonight. Still here. Dan and Doug both here from the band.

39:00 Hoobastank Shalom.

39:01 Adam Hoobastank is also the name of the CD. Out today, and we'll hear something else off it in the 11 o'clock hour. When we left off, we were talking about talking to Josh, who's 16. Josh?

39:13 Hoobastank Yeah.

39:14 Caller Hey, what's up?

39:14 Adam So you're totally in love with your ex.

39:16 Caller Yeah.

39:17 Adam All right. A few questions. How long were you with her?

39:20 Caller We were going out for like a month, month and a half. Oh, boy.

39:23 Adam That's bad.

39:24 Drew How long are you away from her? I don't know how you can call that an ex.

39:27 Adam Well, it's 16. Did you have sex with her? No.

39:31 Drew How long are you away from her?

39:33 Caller We've been separated for like a week.

39:36 Adam Two weeks. Trial separation? A therapist suggested it?

39:41 Caller I wish.

39:42 Adam All right. What base did you get to with her?

39:46 Caller Come on, guys. This is public radio.

39:49 Adam What base, seriously?

39:53 Caller Seriously, I haven't really gotten to any of the bases.

39:57 Adam I haven't even- All right. So nothing.

40:01 Drew No first base.

40:02 Adam Little kissing maybe?

40:04 Caller Yeah.

40:05 Adam Just a kissing. Passionate kissing?

40:08 Caller Pretty good, I guess.

40:09 Adam But no tongue?

40:11 Caller A little.

40:12 Adam A little. Hold on a second. What's wrong with him? Fool believes. What's going on? No girlfriend. That's not a girlfriend.

40:19 Drew Maybe we ought to talk to her and get her view of this.

40:21 Adam He doesn't. She wouldn't know who we're talking about.

40:24 Drew That's the point. Ooh.

40:26 Caller How do you break this to him, Adam?

40:27 Drew Well, he needs to hear it.

40:28 Adam Guys, do this. There's nothing we love more than crushing some youngster's dreams.

40:34 Caller Here we go.

40:35 Adam That's why we're in business. Hey, Josh?

40:38 Caller Okay. Bring it to me.

40:39 Adam All right. I don't think she was your girlfriend. Do you know what I mean?

40:45 Drew She was your infatuation.

40:47 Adam You were into her, and she may have been into you to some degree. But I wouldn't say, you guys, there was nothing to really break up, exactly.

40:56 Drew Why are you apart from her, Week?

40:59 Caller Uh, she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

41:03 Drew Okay. Tell us how that went down.

41:04 Caller Yeah, how did that happen?

41:06 Caller Uh, some guys in my school, you know, they were trying to get a peek up her skirt, so, you know, I dealt with them, and, you know, it kind of went downhill from there.

41:17 Drew You mean you beat up some guys?

41:19 Adam Cramped himself, and then flung it at them. I did that once. Impress this woman.

41:25 Caller Well, I didn't really kick their ass, you know, I just told them to back the hell away from her. And, you know, she was kind of uncomfortable with that, so.

41:33 Drew How many dates did you go on with her?

41:35 Caller Uh, two.

41:36 Drew Two dates.

41:37 Caller Two, three.

41:38 Drew Two dates.

41:39 Caller And you're in love?

41:40 Caller Man, that is serious.

41:41 Adam Two, two dates.

41:42 Drew Let's leave it at two. Were these guys just kind of talking to her?

41:45 Adam Uh.

41:46 Drew Were these friends of hers, maybe, that she was kind of hanging out with?

41:49 Caller No, I know these dudes, uh.

41:51 Drew Yeah, but how does she, how does she feel about them? Who are they to her?

41:56 Caller Uh.

41:57 Adam Boyfriend and brother.

41:59 Caller No, no, none of that. She just moved here, so, you know.

42:02 Adam Well, here's what I guess we're trying to decipher. If in fact these guys sort of posed a threat to her and you stepped in and laid down the law in a sort of chivalrous way, why would that would make her closer to you or more impressed?

42:17 Drew Why did she say, get away from me, I'm freaked out?

42:19 Adam Why did that freak her out?

42:20 Caller I have no clue.

42:22 Drew All right. Maybe these are guys she wanted to talk to.

42:24 Caller And then when she broke up with me, she didn't give me a reason.

42:27 Adam She didn't have to. You guys weren't going out.

42:30 Drew You weren't going out.

42:31 Adam I remember when Claudia Schiffer dumped me, not a word that did. Just took off.

42:36 Drew You weren't going out.

42:37 Caller I know what you mean.

42:38 Drew And she disrupted some conversation. She was having one of the couple of guys.

42:43 Caller Right? No, actually these dudes are trying to look up her skirt.

42:47 Adam Okay.

42:48 Drew What does that mean?

42:49 Adam I don't know. Hey, was she wearing the skirt?

42:53 Hoobastank Yeah.

42:53 Adam Okay. I understand it's important to get the details. Hey, Josh.

42:57 Hoobastank Yeah.

42:57 Adam Well, it's going to be hard for you to sort of, you know what it's like? It's like you wanting to get a car out of the impound yard, except for it's not your car. You see, you want something back that you don't have the pink slip to. And that's what's going to make it difficult. If you told us you dated her for nine months and you guys were hot and heavy, and then something happened that blew up the relationship, we'd give you advice. But there doesn't seem to be enough here to build advice on.

43:29 Drew Two dates.

43:30 Adam Two dates. And actually he's counting to the movie and back as two.

43:34 Caller Did she at any point ever say that you guys were going out together?

43:38 Caller Yeah, she did.

43:39 Caller How did she say that?

43:44 Drew What did she say?

43:46 Caller How did she tell that to you, that you guys were going out?

43:49 Caller Well, you know.

43:52 Adam Oh, hold on. Hold on.

43:54 Caller Hold on.

43:55 Drew And then she said, okay, therefore we're going out.

43:57 Caller Like, you want to go out to the movies or that kind of thing?

44:01 Adam I put them on hold because you see for. You know what? It's Night of the Angry Teen. And actually here's what it is, to be quite honest. I think we're calling people out on stuff that they're not really wanting to talk about. We're exploring things that maybe they don't exactly want to explore and it's creating a little. First there's a little confusion and then comes resentment.

44:26 Drew Then the hostility.

44:27 Adam A little hostility. Josh, I think you need to move on and I think you need to keep your eyes open.

44:34 Drew I'm concerned about his relationship with reality, frankly.

44:38 Adam Is that that bitch's name? Who is this reality bitch?

44:42 Drew He needs to really start taking a look at his role in all of this.

44:47 Adam Yeah.

44:48 Drew What's going on here?

44:49 Adam Here's what I'm saying, Josh. We're screwing around with you a little bit. I'm going to put you on hold because you used the F word. But focus on reality.

44:57 Drew We weren't screwing around. We were just trying to figure out what the reality was.

44:59 Adam I know. I know. But we were having a little fun at his expense. But here's the deal, Josh. I don't want to see you slip into some dark, lonely, weird place, you know what I mean? I kind of get the vibe that he could go there.

45:13 Drew I want to talk to him a little bit.

45:14 Adam Go talk to him off the air. This is your last night. Maybe go over to his house. Yeah. All right. All right. You talk to Josh off the air. Go talk to him now. All right. We got a question for Hoobastank. Hey, Eugene. Hey. You're 15?

45:28 Caller Yeah, I am.

45:29 Adam What's up?

45:29 Caller Adam, I love you, Drew.

45:31 Adam Well, Drew is gone.

45:32 Caller Drew is out of here.

45:33 Adam I mean, for good. Lock the door.

45:36 Caller Yeah, I don't miss him. All right. Doug, Dan, I'm a huge Hoobastank fan, you know.

45:43 Caller Thanks, man.

45:44 Adam Thank you.

45:44 Caller Ever since before the U became an A. Ooh.

45:48 Adam Wow.

45:49 Hoobastank This guy's hardcore.

45:50 Caller Yeah. I actually have, they don't make basketball shorts like they used to.

45:55 Caller How did you find that?

45:57 Caller Well, I don't have like a, you know, I have a copy.

46:00 Caller Oh, okay.

46:00 Caller Goodie, goodie. And yeah, I know a couple guys who got counselored and I met you guys a couple of times, but that was back when you weren't so big.

46:09 Caller But do we grow in size physically?

46:12 Caller Oh, well, you know, on the radio and such. But I was wondering if, you know, after this album comes out and the label, you know, gets a little more confidence in you, if you guys are going to get Jeremy back.

46:23 Hoobastank Jeremy who?

46:24 Caller You know, the saxophone player.

46:26 Hoobastank Right. No.

46:27 Caller Yeah. I don't think that's going to happen.

46:29 Adam Screw Jeremy. I never liked that kid. Hey, Eugene.

46:34 Caller Yeah.

46:34 Adam No, Jeremy.

46:36 Caller No.

46:36 Hoobastank Hey, Eugene. Are you coming to the show tomorrow?

46:38 Caller Yes, I am.

46:38 Hoobastank All right.

46:39 Caller Good. We'll see you there.

46:40 Hoobastank Hey, you know what? We go on at nine o'clock, so you get there early, okay? Oh, I will.

46:43 Adam All right, Eugene. He's a fellow agorian.

46:47 Hoobastank That's where he's from? Yeah.

46:48 Adam Agorah Hill.

46:50 Hoobastank Never heard of it.

46:51 Adam Right on the screen.

46:52 Caller Never heard of what?

46:53 Adam All right, Hoobastank is our guest tonight. We're going to take a little break. Drew is on the line with Josh over there, and we'll take a break. We'll be right back. Okay. Loveline, fastest growing outlaw radio in Southern California. I changed it up a little.

48:09 Caller I didn't say North America there, right? Good.

48:11 Adam It should have went with North America though. Chris has replaced Dan from Hoobastank. Boo. We're a lot-

48:19 Caller Boo.

48:21 Boo to you.

48:23 Adam Well, is that a Simpsons thing?

48:26 Caller Yeah. Something from the Simpsons.

48:28 Caller You got to boo everything.

48:29 Adam Yeah. That's an old Tom Slater.

48:31 Caller It didn't start with the Simpsons.

48:32 Caller No?

48:32 Caller Where did it start? It started with Homegrown. Oh, that's right. We should go to our friends' band shows and heckle them. Oh, really?

48:39 Caller Yeah. From the back. So they couldn't see what it was.

48:40 Caller Boo. As soon as it got quiet, boo. We carry it on.

48:45 Caller Every band I go see gets the boo.

48:47 Caller It's not even for bands anymore. It's for every little thing you dislike at all. If the waitress doesn't bring your coffee. You just boo?

48:52 Adam Boo.

48:52 Caller You know what? The better the band, the bigger the boo.

48:55 Adam Oh, that's good alliteration too.

48:57 Caller Geez.

48:58 Adam Hoobastank CD. Oh, no. We're not going to boo that. That is currently out today. We will hear something else off of that and just a couple of few. But now it's time to get back to the phones and speak to Jessica who's 17. Jessica?

49:20 Caller Hi.

49:21 Adam Hey.

49:22 Caller How's it going?

49:27 Adam Boo.

49:28 Caller That's my line, guys.

49:29 Adam It's good. It's all good. What's up?

49:31 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew.

49:33 Caller Yeah.

49:36 Caller Okay. Hello.

49:39 Caller All right.

49:40 Caller My right boob is significantly larger than my left.

49:44 Adam Yay. I mean, what size is your right?

49:49 Caller My right?

49:50 Caller Well, both of them are roughly double Ds. The other one, probably bigger than a double D because it's practically bursting out of the cup.

49:57 Caller Bouncy, bouncy.

49:59 Adam Now you're really speaking my language. What size is the rest of you?

50:04 Caller Well, the left one is double D.

50:06 Adam No, I'm talking about the ass.

50:08 Caller My ass?

50:09 Adam Yeah. I mean, because it's important medically.

50:12 Caller Oh, well, I'm a size eight.

50:15 Adam All right. You're fat.

50:17 Caller I'm a size six or eight.

50:19 Adam Six or eight. That's medium, right? Yeah. No, that's not small. Eight is not small.

50:23 Drew Eight is sample size.

50:25 Adam Eight is not.

50:26 Drew Right? Jessica?

50:28 Caller Well, I think that my size is normal.

50:31 Adam Yeah, it's average. It's not petite.

50:33 Drew It's sample size.

50:35 Adam No, four and six are small. Eight is medium.

50:38 Caller And also just my sample size is another issue.

50:43 Adam Well, hold on. How tall are you?

50:45 Caller I'm about 5'4.

50:46 Adam All right. How much do you weigh?

50:47 Caller 1'40.

50:48 Adam All right. Yeah, that's sample size, Drew. That's chub pack. Are you kidding me? Sample size. Pardon? All right, go ahead. I'm sorry.

50:56 Caller It's all right.

50:57 Adam Go ahead, Jessica. So one is bigger.

50:59 Caller Yeah. And also my nipples are fairly light. I mean, like my mom, my sister, theirs are fairly dark. And I thought that mine would be dark as well. But they're not. They're kind of like light pink, almost fleshed color.

51:12 Adam Big areola?

51:14 Caller Not huge, but not small.

51:17 Adam All right. Medium.

51:19 Caller Yeah.

51:19 Adam Okay.

51:20 Caller I thought like maybe when I started puberty, probably about nine or ten. And you know, I started growing, I'm thinking, oh, you know, they'll probably look like my moms or my sisters, but you know, they don't look anything like it.

51:33 Adam How old is your sister?

51:34 Caller She's 21.

51:35 Adam She big too?

51:37 Caller Um, no, not as big as me.

51:38 Adam I'm fairly large. And is she darker skinned? Because sometimes women who are like just sort of darker skinned have the darker nipples, you know.

51:47 Caller She pretty much has the same skin tone as me, maybe a little bit yellower, but otherwise the same color.

51:52 Adam I see. What's your nationality?

51:54 Caller What's the question here?

51:55 I don't know.

51:57 Caller I got a great picture of what she looks like, but I have no idea where this is going.

52:00 Caller I'm Caucasian.

52:02 Drew Adam is just collecting data for tonight. He really is.

52:06 Adam I've got a date with myself later on.

52:08 Drew Jessica, your question.

52:12 Caller Will the other one catch up to the right one?

52:14 Drew Not necessarily.

52:15 Caller Unless you take the pill on one side.

52:17 Drew No, it's very common for there to be some asymmetry, directionality, size, something, not uncommon at all.

52:23 Caller Is there anything wrong or is it normal?

52:26 Drew No, it's normal.

52:26 Caller Really?

52:27 Drew Yeah.

52:28 Adam Can you be all right? Let me use one double D bra and you're fine.

52:32 Caller Well, I probably have to go to some, I know a special bra place that can get different sizes done, but it's just, it's kind of, it looks weird. I mean, to me it looks weird. My friends say that it's not noticeable, but like it feels noticeable. I can feel the difference.

52:46 Adam We get this all the time. And you know, as a guy, have you ever noticed it on a woman, guys?

52:53 Caller Yes.

52:53 Drew Oh, really? Sorry, you got a big problem. Has it ever troubled you?

52:57 Caller It has never, never.

52:58 Drew Has it been an issue?

52:59 Caller Come on.

52:59 Adam No way.

53:00 Caller Yeah, boobs, you can't complain about it.

53:02 Drew Yeah.

53:02 Adam Yeah, you know, it's strange because they don't need to be the same. I mean, if you think about it, it's just like it's like dating two women. That's fine.

53:12 Hoobastank A variety. I never thought about it that way.

53:14 Drew In terms of how people perceive beauty, symmetry does figure in, but there is an area where it's not a big deal.

53:21 Adam Better it be your boob than your eyes or a nostril.

53:25 Caller But how about my nipples though? Will they get any darker?

53:27 Adam What do you need darker nipples for?

53:29 Caller That doesn't matter. It looks kind of weird. Shouldn't they be a little bit darker?

53:33 Adam Listen, you women get so caught up in the nipples, in the nipples especially, to the guys, that's just...

53:40 Caller Yeah, I mean, who's going to see these boobs anyways? Who's it for? You or for the guy that you want to show it to? What are you worried about?

53:46 Caller Well, you know, I mean, like if I went ever with a guy, I don't want him to just run away or something.

53:50 Caller If a guy, if, trust me, the guy will be so stuck by that time, it's not going to matter.

53:55 Adam And his balls will be ugly as hell.

53:58 Caller I know.

53:58 Adam You always make fun of them if he goes after your nipples.

54:01 Caller Definitely.

54:01 Adam All right, Jessica, you're fine. Guys, guys really don't, we just don't care that much. Here's the deal with nipples and boobs. They come in a million different shapes, colors and sizes. And that's what we like about them. They're all good. It's all good. All right?

54:14 Drew All right. Thank you.

54:15 Adam All right. They're all our children.

54:19 Drew Oh my God.

54:20 Adam Except for the right one, which is a little bit smaller. I look at that as kind of a bad stepchild.

54:24 Caller The redheaded stepchild.

54:26 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, Drew. Eight. That's sample size.

54:30 Drew Well, it is.

54:33 Adam How often can you be wrong?

54:34 Drew Is eight sample size?

54:36 Adam How often can you be wrong? What is sample size?

54:38 Caller Can we clarify the sample sizes?

54:39 Drew The stuff you see out there when they sell samples, they'd be size eight.

54:43 Caller That's what they put out on display.

54:44 Caller Like on mannequins?

54:45 Caller No. Yeah.

54:46 Adam These mannequins aren't eight.

54:47 Drew Anne, help me.

54:48 Adam No.

54:49 Drew Anne, God bless.

54:51 Caller They want to sell clothes, you know.

54:53 Drew Eight is average. Eight is sample size.

54:54 Adam Listen. Listen to me. I, Drew, why do you always argue with me when I'm always, always right?

55:01 Drew I'm not saying she is.

55:01 Adam I know nothing about nothing. I can tell you if we go to the mall and I start pulling those sundresses off of the wave mannequins that are in the window, they will not be eights. That's what I can tell you. But don't ask Anne because Anne's an eight and she wants the world to be an eight. That's what you're doing.

55:18 Drew Is that true?

55:19 Adam Of course.

55:21 Drew It's the most average size.

55:23 Adam It is the most average size. It is not petite. It is the average size.

55:27 Drew But when they say there's a sample sale, they're going to be eights.

55:30 Hoobastank She's going to find your coffee for that one.

55:33 Adam No. Listen, that is the average size. I'll not argue with that. Petite is not average.

55:41 Drew All I know is when they have some sales samples.

55:44 Adam Okay, let's say, Jack Hall, here's what I'm saying. If you're talking to a chick on the Internet, this is for our listeners.

55:51 Caller Hypothetically, right?

55:52 Adam And she says, I'm a size eight. Do not expect a petite woman. Agreed. Expect an average size woman, but not a petite woman.

56:01 Caller Can I make a point?

56:02 Adam Thank you, Jack.

56:02 Caller If you're talking to a girl on the Internet...

56:04 Drew Don't expect anything.

56:05 Caller She says she's a size eight.

56:06 Caller You know what that means?

56:07 Adam Just put a two in front of that age.

56:10 Caller You want to see pictures before you make any judgments on that.

56:13 Adam Very valid, very valid.

56:14 Caller I don't know how I know that.

56:15 Caller Chris, you sound so experienced at this. This is amazing.

56:17 Adam Jonathan? Yeah, no, I'm sorry for cutting you off, Chris. That was a genius point. Jonathan, you're 19.

56:24 Caller Yeah, I had two questions. Actually, a little more than two for Dr. Drew. A friend of mine started doing ecstasy and coke for a while. And she's been doing coke for about four, four and a half months. And it's not like, it's not every day. It's probably like once a week, maybe once or twice every two weeks, something like that. And I want to know about long-term and short-term effects of coke and both ecstasy.

56:50 Drew Well, they don't have some special additive problem associated with them. They each individually have their own problem. And cocaine, people usually, when they're addicted to cocaine, will do it in these two to four day binges. Does she smoke cocaine or snort it?

57:03 Caller Snort it.

57:04 Drew Yeah. She may still sort of be in the early stages of cocaine addiction. Does she have an alcoholic history or family member?

57:10 Caller No, she has an addictive personality. She becomes addictive really easily.

57:15 Drew So she has been addicted to other things?

57:17 Caller Well, two years ago, she was drinking. She was able to drink a lot, but she stopped that.

57:24 Drew Alright, so how old is she?

57:25 Caller Right now, I believe, 18.

57:26 Drew Alright, so she's sort of getting going in her addicted disease.

57:29 Adam Do you like her?

57:30 Caller No, we dated for about two years and we're not going out anymore, but I still care about her and I don't want to see her.

57:36 Drew Do you have an alcoholic parent?

57:38 Caller No, I actually have one alcoholic parent, yes.

57:40 Drew Shocking.

57:42 Adam Don't get sassy, Drew.

57:44 Drew I'm just saying that's why you need a project like her, that's why you're so attracted and so intent on fixing her, is that's who you are, is you're someone who's in relations with alcoholics.

57:54 Caller No, I drink a lot.

57:55 Drew That's how you define yourself.

57:57 Caller To be honest with you, she was not an alcoholic, she just didn't know what to do and it was a weekend thing.

58:01 Drew She was born an alcoholic. She may just be getting on in her disease here, but she doesn't make no mistake about it. She's an alcoholic addict. If you want to change-

58:10 Adam Well, hold on, Drew says alcoholic, he means that includes coke and whatever else.

58:15 Drew Yeah, alcoholic addict, it's all the same. It's all a genetic disorder and it gets going based on-

58:20 Adam All right, so what should he do?

58:22 Drew The ecstasy is the bigger problem. In terms of long-term brain issues, there's ample evidence that it causes destruction of-

58:30 Caller Brain chemistry?

58:31 Drew Brain cells that do not come back and the part of-

58:33 Caller Destruction of brain cells?

58:34 Drew Destruction of brain cells in the serotonin centers of limbic system so people get depressed and have panic and anxiety. Memory problems, it's been well documented. The cocaine, it's more part of addictive disease, a very addictive drug, it caused a lot of mood lability and irritability, this sort of thing, but that is more part of the evolution of another deadly process which is addiction.

58:52 Adam Okay, so what's he going to do?

58:55 Drew Go to Al-Anon.

58:56 Adam He goes to Al-Anon?

58:57 Drew He goes to Al-Anon.

58:58 Adam Where does he go?

58:59 Drew I was going before you interrupted me.

59:00 Adam Well get there you idiot. He's been on hold for five, he's been talking for five minutes Mr. Aiders Average.

59:05 Drew Let's talk about Aiders Average here.

59:07 Adam Okay. Kate knows mannequins. Kate?

59:11 Caller Yes.

59:12 Adam You know mannequins?

59:13 Caller I know mannequins and eight is not average, I'm sorry.

59:17 Caller What is average?

59:19 Caller The mannequins in the stores, we usually got them in a two or maybe a four if the butt is big. Then if you go to a sample sale like in downtown LA or at Fashion Institute, they'll be selling anywhere between a two and a zero.

59:33 Adam Two and a zero?

59:34 Caller Yeah.

59:35 Adam Why would they sell such small sizes on the sample sale?

59:38 Caller Because their models are very small. I don't know, they just do.

59:40 Drew All right.

59:41 Adam So what you're saying is I'm right again.

59:43 Caller What size are you?

59:43 Drew Why do you know all this?

59:44 Caller I know I work for Abercrombie and Fitch for the Visuals Department.

59:47 Adam All right. So you're saying Drew is wrong.

59:49 Caller Yes, I am.

59:50 Caller Wrong. Wrong is wrong.

59:52 Adam Thanks, baby.

59:54 Drew Now wait, let's go back to the...

59:55 Caller It's really not looking good, Drew.

59:57 Drew Is eight... That's right.

59:58 Caller Your comeback isn't looking good.

59:59 Adam You know what I love? Drew's the smart one.

1:00:02 Drew Is eight average?

1:00:04 Screw you, Drew.

1:00:05 Caller I don't know. I'm not college. I wouldn't think so.

1:00:07 Adam Now, look, here's the deal. Eight is average, but most... Okay, here's the reality. Most women would like to lose ten pounds. Okay? Do you know what I'm saying? And those women wear an eight for the most part. So eight is average, but wanting to lose ten pounds is not petite. Do you see what I'm saying?

1:00:28 Drew Oh, right.

1:00:28 Adam I'm not saying it's wrong if anyone wears an eight, and I don't think it's wrong when someone is considered average. But it's not what you would consider petite.

1:00:38 Drew Why do Anne and I think the eight is sample size? Where do you get that impression?

1:00:42 Adam No, she said eight is average. That's what she said.

1:00:45 Drew And sample size, we also said.

1:00:46 Adam You said that. She was agreeing with you. That's all. She just likes you better. Kate?

1:00:52 Drew Yes.

1:00:52 Adam Thanks, baby.

1:00:53 Drew Bye.

1:00:54 Adam Hey.

1:00:54 Drew He wants a deal.

1:00:55 Hoobastank Is that like a guy saying six inches is average?

1:00:58 Drew Yeah.

1:00:59 Adam No, that's like a guy saying four. It's like if Drew said four is the average size penis, and I went, that is right.

1:01:06 Drew Because six is average.

1:01:09 Adam Right.

1:01:10 Drew Six is average.

1:01:11 Adam Right.

1:01:11 Drew Yeah.

1:01:12 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:13 Drew Yeah.

1:01:13 Caller Yeah.

1:01:14 Drew Yeah.

1:01:14 Caller Yeah. Six.

1:01:14 Adam Yeah.

1:01:14 Hoobastank That's what I said.

1:01:16 Caller Anyways, next.

1:01:17 Drew Six is actually a little on the high side.

1:01:18 Adam Yeah.

1:01:18 Caller Yeah.

1:01:18 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:19 Yeah.

1:01:20 Caller That's what I thought.

1:01:21 Caller I thought six was huge.

1:01:22 Adam Six is grotesque. Yeah. Hey, join the circus.

1:01:25 Caller That's it.

1:01:27 Caller Anyways.

1:01:29 Adam Kelly?

1:01:30 Yeah.

1:01:30 Adam You're 17?

1:01:31 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:32 Adam What's up?

1:01:35 Caller Okay. I was in a relationship with a guy, and he's quite a bit older than me. And it was when I was 14, and I didn't realize it at the time, but he was molesting me.

1:01:47 Adam When you were 14, he was how old?

1:01:49 Caller He was, he told me that he was 29. Like everybody, everybody thought he was 29.

1:01:55 Adam All right. So that would have been fine. But as it turns out...

1:01:59 Caller No, no, no. I'm not saying it would have been fine. But my point is that he also lied about his age.

1:02:04 Drew What if he were 19? Wouldn't that still be molesting?

1:02:07 Adam Yeah, but that's not her point. How old was he in reality?

1:02:12 Caller Let's see. Right now, he was born... Let's see. Right now, he's 32 and he...

1:02:20 Drew That would have made him 29.

1:02:21 Caller No, actually, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Right now, he's 39.

1:02:25 Caller Okay.

1:02:26 Adam So he was 36. Yeah. He was 36 and you were 14.

1:02:31 Caller Yeah.

1:02:32 Adam What a delightful gent.

1:02:34 Caller A great guy.

1:02:34 Adam You're like the hung with this cat. Sounds like a dynamite individual and where did you meet him?

1:02:42 Caller Actually, he taught me swing dancing lessons.

1:02:46 Drew What kind of dancing?

1:02:47 Caller Swing dancing.

1:02:48 Adam Swing dancing. Oh, so he was an instructor.

1:02:51 Caller Those dance instructors will get you every time.

1:02:53 Adam Yeah. So you dated him for how long?

1:02:59 Caller I didn't really date him. We had a relationship where he played mind games with me and like manipulated me. I don't know. I just thought I was in love with him.

1:03:07 Adam And he knew you were 14?

1:03:09 Caller Yeah.

1:03:09 Adam And just for kicks, what grade were you in when you were doing this with this?

1:03:15 Caller A sophomore.

1:03:16 Drew Sophomore? No, you were. Hold on.

1:03:18 Adam Just tell us what grade you were in.

1:03:19 Drew You were either 8 or 9.

1:03:20 Adam What grade were you in?

1:03:22 Caller When I was 14, I was in 11th.

1:03:28 Adam What is wrong with everybody? First off, it's not like you're 67 and I woke you up. You're 17, baby. This was a scant three years ago. You know what I mean? It's like when...

1:03:40 Drew She's got to be a junior now.

1:03:41 Adam I'm saying she like guessed the year she was in. I mean, like, what goes on with this show? That's my poo.

1:03:50 Caller Hold on, hold on.

1:03:52 Adam Listen, baby, what grade are you in now?

1:03:55 Caller Sorry, I said... I'm really nervous.

1:03:57 Adam Okay, what grade are you in now?

1:03:59 Caller I'm a senior.

1:04:01 Adam Grade, just 12th grade, right?

1:04:03 Caller 12th grade, okay, and I was 10th grade when I was 14.

1:04:07 Drew How could that be?

1:04:07 Caller Must be a smart girl.

1:04:08 Drew Well, how could it be?

1:04:09 Caller I don't know.

1:04:10 Caller How do you mean, how can I be?

1:04:11 Drew How could you be a senior now and two years ago...

1:04:14 Caller I'm 17 and I'm in 12th grade.

1:04:16 Drew Right, so 10th grade would have been 15.

1:04:19 Caller I don't know. Maybe I was a freshman.

1:04:22 Drew Maybe.

1:04:23 Caller I know my freshman year.

1:04:24 Adam But hold on, here's what I want to know.

1:04:26 Caller That's not the point.

1:04:27 Adam I know, but now I'm freaked out. Didn't you know where you were at in your life when this was going down? When you were taking swing dancing, what classes were you taking? What classes were you hanging with? Didn't you know what grade you were in?

1:04:41 Caller Yeah, I did.

1:04:42 Drew What grade was that?

1:04:48 Adam Are you making this up?

1:04:49 Caller No, I'm not. I'm just thinking about other stuff right now. It's not really that important. It's not my question.

1:04:57 Adam Well, I understand. I was just trying to get a sort of picture of where, if you're in junior high when this happened.

1:05:04 Caller I was in high school. It was either my first or second year in high school.

1:05:10 Adam Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm shocked that you don't know where you were when you were dating this guy.

1:05:16 Drew Yeah, that a major event in your life went down and you can't locate it. You can't put it in your life history. It means something. Either means you're making this up, which I don't think so.

1:05:27 Caller I'm not. I'm doing counseling for this.

1:05:29 Drew Right. There's something about this that you don't want to address.

1:05:31 Adam You think you've blocked it out?

1:05:33 Caller I have anxiety about it.

1:05:35 Adam Right. Well, I mean, maybe you're shutting down. Maybe you're kind of blocking it out and pushing it out. You think so?

1:05:41 Caller Well, my question is, though, that, like, right now, hold on.

1:05:52 Adam Are you upset?

1:05:53 Caller Yeah.

1:05:53 Adam All right. Sorry. So, well, I'll give you a chance to compose yourself for a second. When is the last? What broke you up with this guy? What got you away from this relationship?

1:06:07 Caller Another guy came into my life, and I started seeing him.

1:06:09 Drew How old was he?

1:06:11 Caller He was 18.

1:06:14 Caller And you were how old?

1:06:15 Caller And I was 16. This had been going on for two years. And what happened was, I took lessons from him, and then I started dancing a lot, and I got to the point where I was good enough to teach lessons, and so I started teaching with him at different workshops.

1:06:32 Drew Did they get this guy?

1:06:35 Caller Yeah, he was arrested. He's in jail right now.

1:06:37 Adam Oh, good, good.

1:06:39 Caller Yeah, I came right back.

1:06:41 Adam Hooray! He's teaching, hopefully, he's teaching the sodomy trot to the 700 pound black man.

1:06:53 Caller Actually, his personality is really likable. I don't know. I heard, last what I heard was he's teaching his cellmate how to do swing dancing or something.

1:07:02 Caller Swing dancing. It's interesting to me. He's swinging something.

1:07:06 Drew Dancing and have a...

1:07:07 Caller But my question is that right now, I'm trying to decide if I should have him take a guilty plea, because he's still on trial.

1:07:20 Drew Should have him take a guilty plea.

1:07:22 Caller The thing that is really upsetting me is that he can only get between two and four years. And he's actually already a two-time sex offender. And he lied to us like nobody knew. I mean he's pretty well known.

1:07:37 Adam Okay. Well, hold on. You should prosecute this guy to the full extent of the law. I mean as much as you can possibly give him is what he should get. Right?

1:07:52 Drew Yes.

1:07:53 Caller But the thing is it might be it's going to be like really hard on me. Like I don't know how I can handle it.

1:07:58 Drew I don't think it will be that hard.

1:07:59 Adam I think by the way I know but you've you've you've already went through the hardest part which is the relationship with this dork.

1:08:06 Caller Yeah.

1:08:07 Drew You seem pretty able to talk about it even though you're sort of defensive. I don't think it'll be harmful to you. In fact it might be this is one of the situations where it might be a good thing to sort of step out of the victim role a little bit and actually definitely reclaim reclaim your power.

1:08:21 Caller The thing is that I don't even feel like a victim.

1:08:24 Adam Well that's part of the problem. It's not, I mean this guy is a manipulator. He doesn't rape by knife point. He's more of a psychological rapist. And I think you need to speak to the prosecuting attorney or the DA or whoever you need to speak to. Tell them all the feelings you have, sort of good and bad about all this stuff and decide what you're capable of doing and do the most that you're capable of doing. And this, these guys drive me.

1:08:55 Caller Why would you want to not do like the most that you can do?

1:08:58 Caller Well, because she's afraid she's going to freak down and she doesn't want to sit up there and recount everything.

1:09:03 Drew They also work by shaming these poor victims. They're victims. And so some of these people that represent these victimizers are themselves victimizers.

1:09:12 Caller Don't you think though that if she went like, you know, for the full extent of punishment that once she got the ball rolling it would be easier, you know, like?

1:09:18 Drew Wait, but listen. These guys are going to get up there and try to make it seem like she manipulated him into a sexual act. You understand? These guys are assholes.

1:09:27 Adam And right. And she, even though we all know she was a kid, not quite sure what grade she was in, somewhere between the seventh and her third year of grad school, I think is what we got it narrowed down to. But she, in her mind, willingly went along with this guy and possibly phoned him a time or two. Do you know what I'm saying? So she feels somewhat responsible, even though we know she's not in her heart. She feels like, hey, I chase this guy down a time or two, probably, and is kind of freaked out about it. But guys like this just need to have a slug put in their head, especially the three time losers. And you know, all these fags from the ACLU that are always so worried about everyone's rights, you know, it's just Jesus Christ. Can't we just put a, can't we just burn something into these guys' foreheads so we know who they are? You really think people, you got a hankering for underage, I'm trying to think of a good term for it, you like twelve-year-old boys, for instance. You really think eighteen months in the clink gets rid of that?

1:10:35 Caller Don't they have therapy for these kind of people?

1:10:37 Adam Like isn't there some kind of problem? There are. Some kind of problem. They do, but it'd be like me going to therapy because I like big jugs and trying to get it erased by talking to some guy with patches on his sleeves for an hour once a week. I wouldn't get rid of it. I would want it more. And thank God, it means I'm all man, but guys like this, they need to be put down, especially when it's the third time. And I mean, imagine how outraged the parents are when you realize this guy was caught.

1:11:02 Caller I mean, yeah, what happens after the second time?

1:11:04 Adam Well, that's the thing, that's the thing. And here's the other thing that, and we're going on break, but the thing that seems right being is, is, oh, we don't have enough room in the prisons. Well, we don't got enough room in the prisons because we've got a bunch of guys who are trying to sell hits of acid at a Grateful Dead concert sitting in there. Meanwhile, this guy's banging his way through the seventh grade, and we got to get him out early to make room for the next guy who was caught with the dime bag. That drives me insane. It really drives me insane. I'm not saying guys who sell the tabs at the Grateful Dead are the pillars of society, but let's not kick out the pedophiles to make room for these guys. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, thank you. Couldn't agree with you more. Hoobastank is here. We'll take a little break. We'll be back. We'll hear something else from them. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Hoobastank is our guest tonight. Woohoo. Yay. This is not my theme song anymore.

1:12:38 Caller I thought we streamed that out.

1:12:39 Adam I've replaced this. I now have a Hoobastank song as my theme song. That's good. Marku has-

1:12:48 Caller Right there.

1:12:50 Caller That's a good theme song.

1:12:51 Adam Yeah. I like that. Let's see. What I'm saying is picture me walking in slow motion with the jacket slung over the shoulder. I see it. I enter the bar. No, I'm walking into a bar. You see me do that peek down over my glasses thing at some hot chicks. They're sitting at a table to recognize me.

1:13:08 Drew This is what the hot chicks hear.

1:13:09 Adam But this is what they're hearing. It's always funny and it's true.

1:13:16 Drew Never gets old.

1:13:17 Adam Story of my life too.

1:13:18 Caller It's all good.

1:13:20 Adam Marku has replaced Chris. We're doing a little round robin here. And where the hell? Doug is still here though. He's the anchor.

1:13:28 Caller Boo, boo, yeah, boo.

1:13:29 Adam He's the anchor.

1:13:31 Caller Marku's our closer, man.

1:13:33 Caller I'm closing it down.

1:13:34 Adam All right. They went to the bullpen. Marku has come out in the giant fiberglass golf cart.

1:13:39 Caller That's right.

1:13:40 Adam It is time to close.

1:13:41 Drew Who's call interests me?

1:13:42 Adam Josh?

1:13:43 Yeah, what's happening, guy?

1:13:44 Adam Hey, Josh, you're 24. What's up?

1:13:47 Caller How are you guys doing?

1:13:47 Caller Is Dr. Drew there?

1:13:49 Drew I'm here.

1:13:50 Caller He's there. All right. Sweet. Listen, I was from Big Brother, Josh from Big Brother. Dr. Drew may remember me.

1:13:56 Drew No, I remember Josh.

1:13:58 Adam Well, which one is Josh from Big Brother?

1:14:01 Drew This is Big Brother 1. Josh was-

1:14:03 Caller I'm exactly from Big Brother 1.

1:14:05 Drew He was like the last. You were the last two, right?

1:14:07 Caller You were with Eddie and you.

1:14:09 Drew Eddie and Josh were the last two. He got second place.

1:14:11 Adam Which is, is one of you, is there three legs between the four of you?

1:14:14 Drew No, Eddie had the legs. Yes, there are. Eddie had the legs. Josh was the blonde guy.

1:14:18 Adam Okay. All right. Hey, Josh.

1:14:19 Caller I'm not black.

1:14:20 Drew No, I said blonde.

1:14:21 Adam Blonde.

1:14:22 Drew Light.

1:14:23 Caller Sorry, guys. I'm kind of deaf right now. I'm just leaving the Britney Spears concert with my girlfriend.

1:14:28 Drew Good times.

1:14:32 Caller I have to tell you, she's not that innocent. Yeah. We had pretty close to front row seats and this woman is half naked half the time.

1:14:39 Caller She didn't sing any at all the whole night, did she?

1:14:42 Caller No. You know what? I don't know if she was lip singing or she was actually singing the thing, but I don't think anybody was actually listening. I know all the guys in the crowd weren't listening. We're just watching.

1:14:50 Adam I really think she has a personality disorder at this point. That's how I would classify her.

1:14:55 Drew In terms of what?

1:14:56 Adam She just seems that something's wrong with her.

1:14:58 Caller She's a stripper of the things.

1:14:59 Drew Pretty much.

1:15:00 Adam Right.

1:15:01 Caller What's wrong with that though?

1:15:02 Drew Well, the problem is little kids like my daughter are into her.

1:15:08 Caller I'm laughing because I'm looking around and there's nothing but like 5 to 15 year olds and they're just looking at this girl like an idol.

1:15:14 Drew That's the problem.

1:15:15 Adam Yeah.

1:15:16 Caller That's a good problem.

1:15:17 Drew How have you been since Big Brother?

1:15:20 Caller I've been pretty decent actually. It was a great opportunity for me. I actually ended up winning 100 grand before Uncle Sam came and snagged quite a big portion away from me and you can't complain because I had just got out of college and I had some student loans to pay off and I had to do all that stuff. My question-

1:15:38 Drew Hold on.

1:15:39 Adam What did Uncle Sam take out of that 100 grand?

1:15:42 Caller Take a big guess.

1:15:43 Adam 50. I'm going to say, yeah, at least, I'd say he left you with like 52 grand.

1:15:50 Caller Yeah, the 48 percent.

1:15:52 Adam Later.

1:15:53 Caller He wasn't that bad on me actually.

1:15:55 Caller What was it?

1:15:56 Caller He ended up taking 32. That's not bad at all. So, you know, you can't complain. You're 23 years old when I left the house and you end up with 68 grand in your pocket. How can you complain about that? You know, everybody said, hey, you ended up getting second. Eddie got first and walked away with 500 grand, but I think he ended up only with 280 grand.

1:16:13 Drew You stay in touch with Eddie?

1:16:14 Caller Only. Oh yeah, definitely. Eddie actually just got done filming an independent movie up in Canada called Drop Dead Roses playing the jerk boyfriend of some girl. Out there. But he's doing well. He's, we always laugh, we, Eddie gets bored about his leg. We always say, he's, you know, he's hopping along fine these days.

1:16:33 Drew Is his cancer in remission? I mean, it's gone?

1:16:35 Caller He's completely, completely. You know, he actually lost his leg when he was 11. And out of anybody I've ever met in my entire life with a disability, he's one of those things that never uses it till I can advantage. You know, it doesn't, that guy gets around better than most people I know with two legs. But my question for you, Dr. Drew, I finally got a chance to actually sit back and watch all the tapes after I got out of the house. And you gave a complete analysis of everybody pretty much, and all I ever heard about myself was anything like a nice guy. Because you always said, Josh is laying low, staying under the radar.

1:17:05 Drew And I just basically, You want me to criticize, to give a, You know, well, let me be honest with you. The way that show worked was they would film it on Thursday live, and they would call me Wednesday morning and go, Here's the question we're going to ask you.

1:17:19 Caller Okay.

1:17:20 Drew And then I'd have 24 hours to come up with an answer. This was not sort of my crafted idea what I wanted to talk about. This is the producer calling me going, Here's what you're going to talk about today. Ready? Go.

1:17:29 Caller You were very limited then.

1:17:30 Drew Oh, very limited.

1:17:32 Adam Well, give Josh, Drew, I can't spend ten minutes on Josh, but give him a quick evaluation.

1:17:38 Drew You're gay.

1:17:39 Adam Besides the gay thing.

1:17:40 Drew No, he's not gay, Josh.

1:17:41 Adam Well, bye.

1:17:43 Drew Maybe he'll buy. All I remember about Josh is I was really troubled by this one night that he became emotional and he was loaded also. That I thought he was being terribly manipulative of some of the women in there. I didn't know what he was really up to. So I'd be curious to know what he was thinking.

1:17:59 Adam Oh, wait a minute. I got a better question. How do you beat off in a house with all those cameras and that ain't worth 68 grand?

1:18:07 Caller The true honest answer is you can't.

1:18:09 Adam Oh, how many days in that house?

1:18:12 Caller I was in there 88 days.

1:18:14 Adam 88 days, no beating off? 88 days. 68 grand don't even scratch that. That's got to be a record.

1:18:20 Drew How do you deal with a nocturnal emission?

1:18:22 Caller Me and Eddie always said we earn that money because we never touched ourselves for 88 days.

1:18:26 Adam 88 days, I would have raped a not hole in the fence at the 88 days.

1:18:32 Caller I got out, but.

1:18:33 Adam Holy crap. Oh, you could beat off in the shower, couldn't you?

1:18:38 Caller No, there was a camera right in the shower.

1:18:40 Adam Are you serious?

1:18:40 Caller This is what we heard, there was a camera in the shower and it didn't go out actually to like, you know, the internet and it didn't go out to actual national television audience. But they put a camera in there.

1:18:49 Drew You know what?

1:18:49 Caller That's all right, it's probably in Japan somewhere.

1:18:51 Drew No, yeah, I was in that control room many times and I did not see anybody take a shower, but I saw that shower camera.

1:18:57 Adam How can you do that?

1:18:59 Caller It didn't matter then, you could have done it in the shower.

1:19:00 Drew There was a John camera, a shower camera.

1:19:03 Adam I would have put a nice big dab of edge gel on that thing and just beat myself to death in there. Just hit it with the shave cream and go nuts in there.

1:19:14 Caller A little Krylon Red.

1:19:16 Caller You're wondering that after about two months, how can you get away with this?

1:19:19 Drew That's why I thought the weakness of that show was they should have dealt with stuff like that. That should have been what the show was about.

1:19:25 Adam A 24, well he's 24 now.

1:19:27 Drew 23.

1:19:28 Adam 23 year old guy not beating off for 88 days is staggering to me. I know it sounds like I'm kidding, but that's...

1:19:36 Caller Try 8 days.

1:19:38 Caller No.

1:19:39 Caller Exactly.

1:19:39 Caller What if someone would explode?

1:19:41 Adam I would.

1:19:42 Caller It would be a mess on the wall somewhere.

1:19:46 Drew There would be some nocturnal splurge. So they must have had... That's a technical term.

1:19:51 Adam There would be nocturnal emission going on.

1:19:54 Drew So they must have been dealing with that a little bit. Yeah.

1:19:57 Caller That release sticky sheets in the morning.

1:19:59 Adam Oh my God.

1:20:00 Caller That's what I'm talking about.

1:20:01 Adam I would be very agitated. You know what happens when you don't beat off for like three months? You love every woman and it becomes really weird. Like you're talking to your mom and you're going, hey girl.

1:20:13 Caller Hey, maybe that was the thing.

1:20:14 Adam What are you wearing?

1:20:15 Caller Sticky? Maybe that was what was happening with the previous caller who went out twice with that one girl.

1:20:21 Adam He didn't beat off.

1:20:21 Caller And he was in love.

1:20:23 Adam Yeah. All guys have to do it so they can have perspective.

1:20:27 Caller So they can think normally.

1:20:28 Adam Otherwise, it clogs your thinking. Clogs, clouds, clouds your thinking. Let's hear a song from Hoobastank. You queued up there, Anderson? Fabulous. This song is called Running Away. Hoobastank. We are going to take ourselves a little break. Doug and Marku are in the studio from Hoobastank. And when we come back, we'll talk to Kim. We called two weeks ago at a broken wrist, has questions about medications.

1:23:57 Drew The kid that wouldn't wake up.

1:23:59 Adam Is she the one who pulled a brody in her kitchen and busted a wrist like mopping or something? It was a comical way to injure yourself. And then we were saying to her, well, why didn't she go to the hospital that night, the emergency room? And she said, I couldn't drive. And we said, well, is there anyone in your house that could have driven? And she said, well, I have like an older son who could have driven me. And we said, well, why didn't he drive you? And she said, I can't wake him up. And I said, wait a minute. You walk into the guy's room, you know, two in the morning, say, I busted my wrist and, you know, throw some water on him, say, it's time to drive mom into the hospital. He won't get up? Nope.

1:24:36 Drew No way. Impossible.

1:24:37 Adam Impossible to wake up. And I thought, that's weird. But I do remember growing up, there was always someone who had like an older brother or something that you could literally like just are punching the guy in the head and he would just roll over.

1:24:49 Caller I've got one of those. Yeah.

1:24:51 Adam It's weird. It's like you don't go to sleep. You die for eight hours a night. How does that work?

1:24:56 Caller I wish I was one of those.

1:24:57 Adam Me too. I got a Blue Jay farts a mile away.

1:25:05 Caller I'm popped up like what the F? What happened?

1:25:07 Adam Earthquake?

1:25:07 Caller The worst is you're sleeping, you're cozy. All of a sudden you hear this little mosquito flying by your ear.

1:25:13 Adam That's it.

1:25:14 Caller The dive bombing gnat.

1:25:16 Caller It ruins your evening. You got your lights on. You have your shotgun ready. Where is that bastard?

1:25:23 Adam He's dead. I could watch 70 hours of footage of just people in their underpants hunting in their bedroom. You turn the light on.

1:25:33 Caller They should have that on Big Brother.

1:25:35 Adam You're lying in bed. The light is off. You're just starting to slip into that salmon. It's usually just a quick strike.

1:25:45 Caller What was that?

1:25:46 Adam But that's it. No way. No, now you're up and you're on the hunt.

1:25:52 Caller And then the next morning you wake up like a shotgun hits you, itching all over you, you got bumps everywhere.

1:25:57 Adam No, no, no, no, no. I won't go to bed. No, I will find it or that will be that. Let that be a lesson to all you mosquitoes listening. I will hunt you down and kill you. Bastards, we will take a little break and we will be right back.

1:26:12 Caller Loveline, we will be right back.

1:26:14 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:26:46 Caller Hello, this is the Mango, from the Saturday Night with the Live, and you will be listening to the Loveline with the Adam Carolla sauce and the Drew man with the ass. No, you can't have a man.

1:27:03 Adam Marku and Doug are both here.

1:27:05 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:27:06 Caller Yo, what up?

1:27:07 Adam Kuba's stank and Drew's just dying.

1:27:10 Drew Yeah, Doug, take your coat off.

1:27:11 Caller Oh, man.

1:27:12 Caller Doug's getting a shot.

1:27:12 Caller I just want to let everybody know, I'm deathly afraid of needles when I was a kid.

1:27:17 Adam Don't worry about it.

1:27:17 Caller I'm going for the on-air flu shot here.

1:27:20 Adam There's some raping going on here. Yeah. Drew is going to give Doug a nice flu shot.

1:27:26 Caller Oh, great.

1:27:27 Adam Drew is so hell-bent on this. He's not wearing sleeves. That's very convenient.

1:27:31 Caller I came prepared.

1:27:32 Adam Yeah. Now, listen, don't even think about it. It's a zero. You're never going to feel it. The needle just went in.

1:27:39 Caller Isn't that kind of like anal sex?

1:27:40 Adam He's done. Give him a lollipop. Give him that flesh lollipop.

1:27:45 Caller Aren't you supposed to take the needle out?

1:27:48 Adam Yeah, he's all good.

1:27:49 Caller No, of course not. That was great. Actually, can I have another?

1:27:52 Adam Now he's hooked. He's hooked on the rig.

1:27:55 Caller I'm addicted to flu shots.

1:27:57 Adam All right. So where was we? We were going to talk to Kim, who's 40, who busted her wrist in the kitchen. I remember the call two, three weeks ago. Kim?

1:28:07 Caller Hi.

1:28:07 Adam Hey. How old was his son of yours, this Rip Van Winkle?

1:28:13 Caller He's 20 years old.

1:28:15 Adam 20 years old. This slacker, still living at home.

1:28:19 Caller He's not a slacker. He gets up, he goes to work every morning. He never misses a day of work.

1:28:24 Adam What's he doing living at home?

1:28:27 Caller Well, because it's really expensive to live out on your own, and he pays rent.

1:28:31 Adam Oh, okay.

1:28:33 Caller He pays for his own insurance. We approve. Buys his own clothes.

1:28:37 Adam All right. All right.

1:28:38 Caller He's a good kid, but he's just, he's one of those sleepers, and when you become a non-sleeper is when you become a parent, right, Drew? I mean, that's when you hear everything. And that night, I had my other youngest one here, and I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want to drag him out either, even if I could have got my older one up.

1:29:00 Drew Did you get your arm set?

1:29:02 Caller Yeah, I did, but not for a week.

1:29:05 Drew Not for a week?

1:29:07 Caller Yeah, my husband and my son and everybody just kept telling me, oh, it's just a sprain.

1:29:13 Drew Well, now you're getting weird on us.

1:29:15 Adam No, why?

1:29:15 Drew Because before it was...

1:29:17 Caller A little duct tape, you know, you wrap it up.

1:29:19 Drew No, before it was, I can't go to the emergency room because my son won't wake up. Now I neglected myself for a week because everyone else was more important and convinced me that I was sort of being needlessly concerned.

1:29:28 Adam Well, what ended up happening with you, Ray?

1:29:30 Caller Well, I finally went, I don't know, about five days ago and had it x-rayed and they said it was broke and they said it and they put me on some pain medication called Ultraset and they said, it said on there, if it doesn't help with the pain, contact your doctor and I guess they changed the prescription. So that's what I did. They changed it to Vicodin and they put 500 milligrams on it. But 500, I have to take two of them.

1:30:07 Drew Well, the 500 milligrams is just the Tylenol.

1:30:09 Caller Okay, so, do you think, see, I'm a heavyweight, as Adam would say.

1:30:17 Adam No, that's all right.

1:30:17 Caller I can tolerate a lot of, you know, things, drugs and stuff.

1:30:23 Adam Right, right.

1:30:25 Caller Not that I'm big and fat or anything like that.

1:30:28 Adam No, but you're a sturdy woman, and it's going to take more than a six-pack and a couple of 500-milligram Vicodins to get your panties off.

1:30:36 Caller It is, but it's not because I'm big.

1:30:39 Adam Right.

1:30:39 Caller Of course, yeah.

1:30:41 Caller I'm only 5'8, 130 pounds.

1:30:44 Adam Oh, okay. Oh, you're just not a lightweight.

1:30:48 Caller Yeah, I'm just a heavyweight when it comes to being able to party and stuff like that.

1:30:52 Adam Right. So you want to know...

1:30:54 Drew She's a drug addict.

1:30:54 Adam You want to know how to activate this. You want to know what to do with this Vicodin?

1:31:00 Caller I want to know if it's safe. Am I going to OD on taking two pills instead of one?

1:31:07 Drew It's not a good idea.

1:31:09 Caller I'm able to handle it.

1:31:11 Drew Well, but you are... you probably do have the addictive biology, and by doing that, you're really putting yourself in harm's way. And that is a big dose, taking two.

1:31:19 Caller Since you just take what the doctor tells you to take.

1:31:22 Adam It's not alleviating her pain. Drew, what are you such a wuss with this stuff? I do this all the time.

1:31:27 Caller It's fine. I agree with you totally on the child molesters and with the drug dealer. Why they don't? They've got people in for, like you say, a dime bag and got these child molesters running around.

1:31:41 Adam Of course.

1:31:43 Caller I agree with you 100%.

1:31:44 Drew What drugs have you done, Kim, just out of curiosity?

1:31:46 Caller Please?

1:31:47 Drew What drugs have you done just out of curiosity?

1:31:50 Caller What do you mean, drugs? For just pleasure?

1:31:53 Drew Yeah.

1:31:54 Caller Oh, I've done just about everything.

1:31:56 Drew Heroin?

1:31:57 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no.

1:31:59 Caller Do you coke or? No, coke. No, no, no.

1:32:01 Caller All right, all right.

1:32:03 Caller My husband is out there listening tonight. He drives a truck every night. Hello, Mike, I love you.

1:32:11 Adam He's probably just do that eight ball of crank himself with some he, she, hooker in a truck stop.

1:32:17 Caller No, he would lose his job.

1:32:20 Adam All right, all right, baby. That's good. Look, what about this then? The one five hundred milligrams not doing anything. What if she breaks in half another 500 milligram and takes that? She's not getting any pain relief. She can't. She can't take two.

1:32:38 Drew The Tylenol will shut her liver down.

1:32:40 Adam All right. Look, this poor guy has been on hold for an hour. He wants to know where Hoobstank got their name and so do I.

1:32:45 Caller Mark?

1:32:46 Drew Yeah, how are you guys doing?

1:32:47 Adam You want to know where the band got their name?

1:32:49 Caller Yeah, I'll put it up.

1:32:50 Adam All right, that's enough. Where did you get your name? Because we got 10 seconds.

1:32:54 Caller Hoobastank is that unfortunate feeling when you go to the doctor for a physical and... Would that be Dr. Drew? Maybe. And he or she goes down to grab your stuff and tell you to turn your head and cough. It's that unsettling, half excited, half scared feeling you get. We call that Hoobastank.

1:33:15 Caller All right. Well, it depends. Maybe if it's a female and you're getting this eye contact.

1:33:19 Caller Well, see, that's where the half excited comes in.

1:33:22 Caller I see. OK. That makes sense.

1:33:23 Adam We will take a break and we'll be right back.

1:33:26 Caller All right, guys. Bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:33:31 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:33 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:34 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:40 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:34:15 Adam Huba Stank, I want to thank them for coming in here tonight.

1:34:18 Caller Thank you. Thank you.

1:34:19 Adam Thank you. It was our pleasure. And the album Huba Stank is out. It is out. As we speak, it came out today. So go out and get our new friends CD, please. That would be great. Go on hoobastank.com to find out where all the tour dates are. True.

1:34:40 Caller For people who can't make the CD release show tomorrow, I think it's going to be broadcast on hoob.com, houseofblues.com.

1:34:47 Adam Oh, really? Cool. All right. So check into that and find out where they're going to be next and go see them. And until, David Alan Greer tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Crow for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:59 Caller I'm angry at her, but I don't want to...

1:35:03 Drew You're gay.

1:35:04 Adam Drew, please.

1:35:05 Screw you, Drew.

1:35:06 Adam Yeah, Drew. You shouldn't even be on the show.

1:35:09 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management. Sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2001