Episode 1000754886901

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, this is Dr. Drew, over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. No guest tonight. Just the way I like it, Drew. You know why?

1:31 Adam Because you don't have to work so hard.

1:33 Drew More me.

1:34 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:34 Drew More me.

1:35 Adam Everyone listen to Adam.

1:36 Drew Everyone listen to me. So we will just take your calls and you will be the guest tonight. Drew, anything you'd like to get to before we get on the phones?

1:48 Adam No.

1:49 Drew That's good. Nothing to say at all. Elizabeth?

1:53 Yes.

1:54 Drew You're 23?

1:55 Caller Yes, I am.

1:56 Drew What's up?

1:57 Caller What's going on? How are you doing?

1:58 Drew Good. How are you doing?

1:59 Caller I'm fine.

2:00 Drew That's good.

2:01 Caller I just wanted to get some info. Well, my boyfriend actually wants to have another girl.

2:07 Adam Shocked.

2:08 Caller I'm sorry?

2:09 Adam I had just such a rare, rare sort of impulse on a 23-year-old male's part.

2:16 Caller Well, the only thing is that I've never thought about it. I've never thought about being with another girl. It's just never crossed my mind, and it's like I want to please him.

2:25 Right.

2:26 Caller But it's okay.

2:27 How?

2:29 Adam This is...

2:30 Drew Reserve some judgment for just one second.

2:31 Adam No, I can't. No.

2:32 Drew How long have you been together with him?

2:35 Caller Well, four years.

2:36 Drew Four years. Do you have any kids?

2:38 Caller No.

2:40 Drew Are you serious about this relationship?

2:43 Caller Um, yeah.

2:44 Drew You are? Are you thinking about marriage?

2:47 Caller Not anytime soon.

2:49 Drew Well, are you thinking about it? Maybe he's...

2:51 Caller I am.

2:52 Drew Right. He's not thinking about it.

2:53 Caller Possibly not.

2:55 Drew See, here's the thing that's interesting about this is you're thinking about marriage. It's been four years, and you're thinking, what I really need to do is please this guy.

3:06 Adam Right.

3:06 Drew Because I would like to make this guy my man.

3:08 Adam I'll show him how to get it in.

3:10 Drew Right.

3:11 Adam But you're going in the wrong direction, Elizabeth. You're going in a completely wrong direction.

3:16 Drew Yeah, the problem is, is this ends up being a strike against the relationship. It doesn't aid you in the relationship.

3:24 Adam This is him just seeing what he can get away with with you.

3:27 Drew Completely.

3:28 Caller I mean, okay, yeah, that too.

3:31 Drew You know what this is, Drew, tell me if you've done this, and then try to be honest for a second. You know, it's like there's certain jobs, there's certain relationships, there's certain situations that you treat like a rental car. Like you think to yourself, what do I care? I'm going to be around for a week, then I'm going to turn the thing back in. I'm going to get some takeout, eat it on my lap, light up a nice cigar, throw it into reverse when I'm going forward 10 miles an hour.

3:58 Adam They call this good for now.

4:00 Drew Good for now?

4:01 Adam Yeah.

4:01 Drew Yeah, this is a job where I don't particularly care if the boss gets pissed off and fires me. It's all short plate. This is a rental car.

4:08 Adam It's good enough for now.

4:09 Drew It's a rental car. And you know, if we have it, the wheels come off, who cares?

4:13 Adam Yeah. That's where he's going with this.

4:15 Drew Well, he's been around for four years and...

4:18 Adam That's kind of prick he is.

4:20 Drew Not made a move. Why do you think, do you think he's going to want to get married?

4:26 Adam No. Has he given that, don't talk to me about marriage thing?

4:31 Caller No, he's never specifically said, I want to get married.

4:36 Adam Has he said, don't talk to me about that, I'm not ready?

4:40 Caller No, never really talked about it.

4:41 Drew Well, obviously, you're scared to bring it up for a reason.

4:44 Caller No, I'm not.

4:45 Drew Well, you want to get married.

4:46 Adam Four years you've been wanting to bring it up and you haven't.

4:51 Caller It was just something, you know...

4:52 Adam Hey, Elizabeth, four years you wanted to bring it up and you haven't. You're afraid of something.

4:58 Caller No, not too much. I'm just wanting everything to go smoothly before everything happens.

5:05 Drew Well, listen here, Einstein. You've been wanting to get married for, let's say, at least a couple of years. Why have you not brought that up to him?

5:17 Caller I've asked him.

5:18 Adam And what does he say?

5:21 Caller Oh, he laughed.

5:23 Drew Okay. Well, that's kind of what we're talking about. So you do, you have got an answer.

5:28 Caller Yeah.

5:29 Drew The answer is, but...

5:32 Adam You've got to be kidding.

5:33 Caller Maybe we're both not ready for it yet.

5:35 Drew No.

5:35 Adam No, you're ready.

5:37 Drew No, neither one of you is ready in reality.

5:39 Adam In reality, but you're ripe. You're ready.

5:41 Drew You want to get married, and he doesn't. That's the reality.

5:44 Adam And so your job is to assert yourself, not to please him. Please him just puts you further into the tank.

5:51 Drew Okay, so maybe you should start. What's this guy do for a living?

6:00 Caller He's a hard worker. I'd tell you that much.

6:03 Adam Oh boy.

6:03 Caller Yeah.

6:04 Drew Nobody sells drugs to preschoolers like this guy. 50 hours a week this guy works selling drugs to preteens. What does he do for a living?

6:14 Caller He's an electrician.

6:16 Drew All right. Decent. Doing any union work, is he?

6:21 Caller Just here and there.

6:23 Adam Wait a minute.

6:25 Drew Hold on. Let me ask this. What is it with women that they have no idea?

6:29 Adam What you're asking.

6:30 Drew No, not what you're asking. Well, they don't know what you're asking, but they have no idea what their men do for a living. You understand? I said to my mom the other day, what's my stepdad? What's he make? What's he make a year? She said, oh, I don't know. I said, no, you don't have to round to the dollar. I don't need cents. Oh, I don't know. I said, well, wait a minute. Is it 40 grand a year? Is it 100 grand a year? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. I said, are you kidding? This, by the way, why we fight all the time, because I treat my mom like a listener and I get indignant. Are you high? What do you mean you don't know how much he makes?

7:08 Adam Do you say listen Tardo?

7:09 Drew Yeah, listen Tardo. Listen Tard Mom. I don't like your tone. Well, Jesus Christ, how much does the guy make? No idea. And this is like when we talk to these women whose dad, he flew 700 carrier missions in an A4 over Vietnam and is highly decorated and they go, I think he did something on a boat.

7:30 Adam With airplanes?

7:32 Drew You may not even get the airplane part out of them. OK. Elizabeth? Yes. I don't trust this guy. It sounds like you're covering up for him. Oh, yeah. Does he work? Is he working consistently?

7:43 Yes.

7:44 Drew He is?

7:44 Yes.

7:45 Drew Does he make OK money?

7:46 Yes.

7:47 Drew And how old is he?

7:48 Caller Twenty-seven.

7:49 Drew And, you know, it's time. Four years. He's twenty-seven. Not even thinking about marriage, huh?

7:56 Caller No.

7:57 Drew Right. You don't think you could do any better than him?

8:02 Caller Well, I love him, so I'm not really out there looking for...

8:05 Drew OK.

8:05 Adam All right.

8:06 Drew So and you think if you give him the threesome, maybe it'll bring you guys closer together?

8:12 Caller Possibly.

8:13 Adam No, not possible.

8:15 Drew Did you have anyone in mind?

8:17 Caller Did I have anyone in mind?

8:20 Drew Did you have anyone in mind?

8:22 Caller No, I didn't.

8:23 Drew Did he have anyone in mind?

8:25 Caller Not at the moment.

8:27 Drew But the way you answered that was as if he had somebody in mind, wasn't it?

8:31 Caller OK. Well, see, there's this girl like a friend of mine and she's just like...

8:36 Drew Hold on. Loveline recreation.

8:38 Adam Did you have someone in mind?

8:39 Drew Did I have anyone in mind?

8:41 Adam Did you have someone in mind?

8:43 Drew Did I have it or did he?

8:45 Adam Did he have someone in mind?

8:47 Drew No.

8:48 Adam Not at the moment.

8:48 Drew No.

8:49 Adam Not at the moment was the answer.

8:52 Drew Elizabeth, he does have somebody in mind or not?

8:56 Caller No.

8:56 Drew No, he doesn't.

8:57 Caller No.

8:58 Drew OK. So the last we spoke to you 10 seconds ago, he sort of had someone in mind.

9:02 Caller I mean, that's the point. You know, I had this girlfriend of mine that she's kind of off a little bit. She's not sure what she wants to do or who she wants to be with. And I told him about it, you know, not knowing that he would say, OK, well, you know, maybe her.

9:17 Adam Elizabeth considers her off.

9:20 Caller And I mean, I would never think of being with a girl.

9:24 Drew OK.

9:24 Adam Well, that you're telling us about your I would do it for him. Yeah, but that's that's all right.

9:30 Drew And listen, goofball, he will he will be further away from marrying you if you get into this guaranteed, guaranteed there.

9:39 Adam That's a guarantee.

9:39 Drew That is a fact. I don't want to tell you, you know, I'm not here to pass moral judgment and I'm not here to squelch people's plans and notions, especially around the holidays of having threesomes. But I'm just telling you as a fact and from our experience, you will be further away from matrimony with this guy if you have the threesome with him. That is our experience. Okay?

10:03 Adam There you go.

10:04 Drew All right. And we suggest you assert yourself, ask him if he's going to get married, tell him to ask or get off the pot. And if he's not, listen to that and move on. All right, goofball?

10:16 Caller Yeah.

10:16 Drew And kick your dad in the nuts if you ever see him again.

10:19 Caller I will.

10:20 Drew Whenever he gets, whenever he gets paroled, all right?

10:22 Caller Believe me, I will.

10:23 Drew Is he in the can?

10:25 Caller I'm sorry.

10:26 Drew Is he in the joint right now?

10:27 Caller No.

10:27 Drew All right. Do you see your dad?

10:29 Caller No.

10:30 Drew If you do come across him, I want you to kick him though, right?

10:33 Caller I will.

10:34 Drew Yeah, because he's a bad guy.

10:35 Caller Oh, yes, very much.

10:36 Drew Thank you. All right, baby.

10:38 Adam You understand that's what sets you up for this. So there we go.

10:40 Drew Don't have any kids. John?

10:42 Yeah.

10:43 Drew You're 16?

10:44 Caller Hey.

10:44 Drew What's up?

10:46 Whenever I ejaculate, oh, what's up, you guys, first of all?

10:48 Drew What's up?

10:49 Hey, whenever I ejaculate, like at night or whenever, the next morning, I wake up and I see like pimples starting to, you know, on your face, on my face. Yeah.

11:00 Drew Yeah. But here's the question.

11:02 Adam Yeah. What morning do you wake up?

11:03 Drew Since you've hit puberty, have you ever not beat off the night before? That's the real question.

11:09 Adam Or have you ever not woken up with pimples in your face?

11:12 Well, actually, yes. I have gone several nights without, like if I stop for a night, then the pimples start to vanish, you know?

11:21 Adam I think you're just sort of what they call a spurious association.

11:25 Drew Right.

11:25 Adam Spooey-ous. You think you're saying something, but you're not. There really is no association.

11:30 Drew No. You're like a chromanginous man where you've figured out where the volcano erupts each time something happens in the village.

11:41 Adam You have a sacrifice, you sacrifice a virgin, the volcano doesn't blow up. Well, the volcano is just not blowing up. And people have tried to associate it with actually not masturbating, causing acne. Some people have said that are not having sex causing acne. It's nonsense.

11:59 Drew When does acne kick in? Puberty?

12:01 Yeah.

12:02 Drew There's nothing worse than that early acne thing. God willing, puberty kicks in and it gives you a year or two before the zits come flying in. Becky?

12:14 Hi.

12:14 Drew Oh, jeez, that was loud. You're 19. What's up?

12:18 Caller I was wondering if it's possible to partially tear your hymen.

12:23 Drew Partially repair?

12:24 Caller No, tear.

12:25 Drew Oh, tear.

12:26 Adam If you put something inside, it will tear, yes.

12:29 Caller Okay, like partially though?

12:32 Adam Well, mostly. I mean, what do you mean partially?

12:34 Drew Well, she means part of the hymen get torn. Like, you mean like if your hymen was a snare drum, it's as if we'd cut out half of the top of the drum?

12:44 Adam Yeah, but the hymen isn't that complete a membrane. You know what I mean? It's more like, you know, remember the doctor that sat there, Dr. Altman, and gave you the mouth impressions of the vagina?

12:55 Drew Yeah, I think I do. I remember kind of closing my eyes, going to see the old Jewish guy saying, now my mouth, pretend my mouth is a vagina. I was like, hey doc, I'm this close to effing you in the face.

13:08 You're lucky I haven't had a beer.

13:09 Drew I'd hop right on you.

13:11 Adam Anyway, it's more of a narrowing, and it kind of, you know, you can expand that.

13:15 Drew All right, so what's your situation, Becky?

13:17 Caller Okay, I'll tell you the story. I was masturbating a while ago, and I mean, I had done it before, but I had never gone out that far.

13:25 Adam With what? With your fingers, huh?

13:26 Caller Yeah, with my fingers. I had used other objects before, but this time I was using my fingers.

13:30 Drew Are you a virgin?

13:32 Caller Yes, and when I was done, I noticed that there was blood where I was laying.

13:39 Adam Well, is it time to have your period?

13:41 Caller No, no.

13:43 Adam Did it hurt?

13:44 Caller No, it didn't hurt.

13:45 Adam Well, your hymen's already gone. You've been putting stuff up there.

13:49 Drew Did you feel any kind of obstruction?

13:50 Adam And you're 19, you're 19.

13:51 Caller Yeah, see, that's the thing. I had never felt like anything happened before, and after it was done, there was just blood there.

14:00 Adam Well, you probably, sexual activity can stimulate bleeding from your uterus. I think that's more likely to be the case.

14:05 Caller Okay.

14:06 Drew Why are you still a virgin?

14:08 Oh.

14:09 Caller What does that matter?

14:11 Drew Why? Because of my show, and I'm curious, that's why.

14:14 Caller Well, it's my choice. I've chosen to still remain a virgin.

14:18 Adam That's good.

14:19 Drew No, listen, I know as a woman it's your choice.

14:22 Adam No, he means what?

14:23 Drew To have a 19-year-old guy, it's not his choice.

14:25 Caller Right. Well, I'm just letting you know that I've chosen to remain a virgin.

14:29 I understand that.

14:30 Adam Let's put it this way. If we could bottle this and encourage... Oh, shut up.

14:35 Drew What's up, everyone's ass all the time? I just want to know why you're 19 and a virgin. And I get this whole story about, it is my choice. Don't get all sanctimonious on me. Just tell me what's up. Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage?

14:48 Adam Ask her again. Becky? Hey, what's the reason?

14:52 Caller Oh, well, yeah, I'm waiting for marriage.

14:54 Adam Okay.

14:55 Drew Okay, is that a religious thing?

14:57 Caller Um, no, not really.

14:58 Adam Is it a health thing? You just acknowledge that this is a healthy thing to do?

15:01 Caller Oh, I mean, it's kind of, I would like to spend it, you know, like I would like to share that part of my life with only one person. Call me a romantic, but.

15:10 Adam That's cool. That's cool.

15:11 Drew Good times.

15:12 Adam All right, Becky, you're excellent.

15:13 Caller Okay, so wait, I have one more question.

15:14 Adam Yeah.

15:15 Caller Now, can I feel my hymen?

15:18 Adam You could.

15:20 Caller Like when I masturbate and like I put my fingers up, I can feel like a sort of like a round piece of skin. I don't know like how to better describe it like.

15:32 Drew Well, that could be the finger from the twin that never fully came.

15:37 Adam I see. It was separated from it?

15:39 Drew Yeah, never separate. There was a womb there. Oh, yes, Elvis had that.

15:43 Adam You can feel your cervix. Some women can be kind of low, but they got to reach up there pretty high to get that.

15:48 Caller My cervix? Would it be my hymen?

15:51 Adam It could be. Or it could be your cervix. Again, you're not...

15:55 Drew Look, the guy will believe you're a virgin.

15:57 Adam Yeah, it's not an issue for a guy. Believe me.

16:00 Drew Good times. It's funny. For someone who's a virgin, she's really into the self-exploration.

16:07 Adam Isn't that interesting?

16:07 Drew Big time.

16:08 Adam Yeah, yeah, big time.

16:09 Drew Becky?

16:09 Caller Yes.

16:10 Drew You a big gal?

16:11 Caller No.

16:12 Drew A little bit?

16:13 Caller No.

16:14 Drew A little bit?

16:15 Caller No.

16:15 Drew I'm just playing a hunch. Come on. I got the big gal thing going.

16:19 Adam She's got the vibe.

16:20 Drew She's got the vibe. How tall are you?

16:24 Caller Five-nine.

16:25 Drew What do you weigh?

16:27 Caller My nightgown.

16:28 Drew What do you weigh?

16:30 Caller Oh, what do I weigh? Oh, 130, 125.

16:33 Drew All right, all right. All right, good times.

16:36 Caller OK.

16:37 Adam We support you. We salute you.

16:39 Drew Wondering what's wrong with her.

16:40 Adam No, no, no.

16:41 Drew Why? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because non-religious chicks that are at 19 and putting everything in the refrigerator up them but still want to remain a virgin. They're not getting their pick of the litter. They're not getting a lot of opportunities. Do you know what I mean? They're not going to the parties and having the captain of the football team come by and hit on them.

17:03 Adam But you got to.

17:03 Drew They would have done something.

17:05 Adam Thank God. It is finally a different time.

17:06 Drew I'm fine with her.

17:07 Adam It's a different time.

17:08 Drew I wish there was more people like Becky out there.

17:10 Adam Hearing what happens to them if they don't do this and they're sort of rethinking it all.

17:13 I'm kind of like chunky.

17:15 Adam Seth?

17:16 Yes?

17:17 Adam 20.

17:17 Drew You're 20. What's up?

17:19 Caller Yeah. I have a hydro seal in my sack.

17:23 Adam Congratulations.

17:25 Drew Yeah.

17:25 Caller And I want to know what it is, what's in it. I've had it ever since I was a baby, but it's gotten bigger.

17:30 Adam It's just a cyst. It's just fluid. That's it. They may want to remove it someday or sometimes blood, sometimes sperm, semen.

17:38 Drew Oh, you get semen in there?

17:39 Adam Sperm really is what it is. Spermatosil. Okay.

17:43 Drew Well, what's the difference between the sperm and the semen?

17:45 Adam Semen is the stuff that your prostate produces that hasn't been mixed in with the sperm yet.

17:48 Drew So it would just be pure sperm. Yeah. Very potent. Hey Seth, good times. Can you feel it in your sack?

17:55 Caller Yeah. I thought it was a tumor.

17:57 Adam Yeah, but tumors aren't smooth and round like that.

18:00 Caller Yeah, but I got it checked by a doctor and she's going to send me to a urologist.

18:04 Adam Good man. That's the thing to do. They'll probably put a needle in or take it out. It's a pretty simple deal.

18:09 Caller All right.

18:09 Adam Thanks.

18:10 Drew Good times.

18:11 Caller Bye.

18:11 Drew Put a needle in it and what? Drain it?

18:13 Adam Yeah. Notice how that slipped right past him. Oh, good. Oh, phew. Needle in my testing.

18:17 Drew No problem. Needle in the sack.

18:18 Adam I noticed you sort of jump when I said that.

18:21 Drew I know. I didn't catch young Sessie or that needle in the sack. It's like you have some kind of voodoo sack or something. Do voodoo dolls still work? Have we just gotten away from that?

18:32 Adam Oh, yes.

18:33 Drew With the punches to Mike, what are we? 14 Minutes, another show? Fantastic.

18:37 Adam It's vanished with the souffle humor.

18:40 Drew I'm telling you kids, there used to be voodoo dolls about every third or fourth episode of like-

18:47 Adam Any, anything that wasn't a Western.

18:49 Drew Dark shadows or Twilight Zone or something. The voodoo doll was a completely realistic, a completely viable method to punish somebody.

18:58 Adam Yes, that was part of the American culture at the time.

19:00 Drew And it was right up there with like Spanish Fly in that it sounded pretty ridiculous, but on the other hand, you heard about it so much, it must exist. It must be worth something. Drew, use the microphone. You know that thing you punch?

19:14 Adam I know.

19:14 Drew You got to talk into it sometimes.

19:15 Adam I want to make a list of the things that we have lost since the 70s, the things that were really truly-

19:20 Drew Drew, do you really think this could be worth a damn at the end of the night? And, Ann, is there going to be anything on that list that I didn't put there? David?

19:29 Hey.

19:30 Drew You're 18. What's up?

19:31 Caller Hey. I have a lot of problems remembering things and like concentration and stuff.

19:37 Drew Yeah. Me too.

19:38 Adam You had that your whole life?

19:40 Caller Say it again?

19:40 Adam You had that your whole life?

19:42 Caller As far as I can remember. But that's probably not saying much. But yeah.

19:46 Adam Because you can't remember? Is that what you mean?

19:48 Caller Yeah.

19:49 Adam So you had a sudden decline in your capacity for memory? Is that right?

19:55 Caller Can you say it again?

19:56 Drew All right. Hold on. This show is going to go on for 45 minutes. Because we got Drew over here who talks like he's speaking the Queen's English, and then we got a retard over here who can't remember anything, and we're going to chase our tails.

20:08 Adam Go ahead.

20:08 Drew So you let me talk. I'll work as a sort of intermediary.

20:11 Adam Retard to retard. That's good.

20:12 Drew Right. Dave? Yeah. You do any drugs? No. Do you ever get hit in the head?

20:18 Caller Uh, yeah.

20:19 Drew Yeah. Anything big?

20:21 Knockdown?

20:22 Adam Nose consciousness?

20:23 Caller No.

20:24 No.

20:24 Drew Okay. Were you always this way as far as you can remember?

20:29 Caller Yeah.

20:30 Drew And how do you do in school?

20:32 Caller Well, it wasn't really good. Like, I had a lot of trouble, like, um, like, say I was doing work and stuff. I get, um, I have a lot of trouble, like, remembering what the teacher says or whatever. And then, like, I get really tired and have a lot of headaches and stuff.

20:48 Drew Do you have anything that you do remember? Like, do you have a sport that you like?

20:53 Caller Um, not really.

20:54 Adam Have you seen a doctor for this?

20:56 Caller Um, I did once.

20:58 Adam How long ago?

21:01 Caller He doesn't remember.

21:02 Caller Um, I'd probably say within a year.

21:04 Adam Okay. And?

21:07 Caller Um, I think she, well, she said that, um, I, well, I was sent to get a CAT scan.

21:13 Adam Good.

21:13 Caller Because they thought it was, you know, probably since around, like that.

21:17 Adam And?

21:17 Caller And, um, well, everybody came, they said there was nothing, they didn't find anything.

21:21 Adam So the CAT scan was normal?

21:22 Caller Yeah.

21:23 Adam Have you been evaluated for a learning disability?

21:25 Caller Um, no.

21:26 Adam That's what you ought to do. I mean, it seems to me you ought to keep going down that path. I'm checking if this is a new... They're very, very simple ways to evaluate this.

21:33 Drew Well, what if you find out you have a learning disability?

21:35 Adam They can be treated now. They really can. Really? How? It depends what the disability is. If you were in high school now...

21:42 Drew If I was?

21:43 Adam Yeah, they'd take you and go, Oh, Christ, what's the matter with this kid? And they'd evaluate, they'd give you neuropsych testing, and they'd evaluate what kinds of things can be done to help sort of re-circuit your brain a little.

21:52 Drew I didn't have anything wrong with me, though.

21:54 Adam You just couldn't learn? Well, as far as you were concerned, you were fine.

21:57 Drew No, I couldn't read, because I never learned to read, and I was a horrible student, really sort of based on, listen, being a student is no different than playing a sport in that I suck at golf, and it's because I never played.

22:13 Adam But they could detect that, maybe give you ways to overcome that.

22:17 Drew Yeah, they could help my game out a little bit.

22:19 Adam They could focus on the fundamentals.

22:21 Drew But you know what, let me tell you something, never be half as good as someone who started early.

22:25 Adam That's true.

22:26 Drew So it was kind of a lost cause anyway. But listen, we don't have to make everyone a good student. I was a god-awful student, and if they got to me and worked with me enough, I could have just been a bad or poor student. Still wouldn't have went to college, still wouldn't have ever made a way to do it.

22:41 Adam You don't know that. Imagine you'd be ruling the world right now.

22:44 Drew Now, listen, this-

22:45 Adam Philosopher warrior.

22:47 Drew Let me tell you something about college. Waste of time unless you're going to go to the next level. You want to be a doctor or a lawyer, you need your advanced degree. Fine, do it. Other than that, it's just a bunch of nonsense.

22:57 Adam I could not disagree with you more strongly.

22:59 Drew I know. You think you learn how to learn. You think you learn how to gather knowledge.

23:05 Adam Some people do.

23:06 Drew Idiots do. Please, Drew. It's no help. With the Internet, kids don't need it these days. Yesi?

23:15 Caller Yeah, hi.

23:16 Drew What kind of name is Yesi?

23:18 Oh, it's short for Yosinia.

23:19 Drew That's nice. What kind of name is that?

23:22 I have no idea.

23:23 No!

23:24 Drew What's your nationality?

23:26 I'm Hispanic.

23:27 Drew Okay. Well, it's Hispanic then.

23:29 I guess so.

23:29 Drew There you go. Okay. It's always a little ringing that has to go on on this show. Just come out and say what you are. Never happen. Never gonna happen.

23:39 Adam What's up, Yesi? What's up?

23:40 Okay. Well, my brother, he sleeps with, well, like in the same room as my mom and my dad.

23:47 Adam Why?

23:47 Drew Your brother, Noe, or is it your brother, younger brother, maybe?

23:50 My younger brother and whatever. Like, well, like they just like tell him to go to sleep. He sleeps in the same bed, like, you know, with them.

23:59 Adam Wow.

24:00 And now, yeah, you know.

24:02 Adam Well, why is that? Is there an economic reason for that? Or they just?

24:05 No, because he's just a little, um, scary cat.

24:09 Adam No, that is not good for him. That is not good for him.

24:11 Drew Being 11 and sleeping in the bed with him?

24:13 Adam That is not good for him.

24:14 Drew Every night?

24:16 Yeah, he's a little chicken. He has like his own room. He doesn't want to sleep in the room.

24:19 Adam Listen, it's a much more difficult sort of process for the parent to go through to get him to sleep in his room. And that's the parent job, to do that.

24:28 Yeah.

24:29 Adam So, the parents need to do their work.

24:30 Drew What do you care, other than you have a screwy brother? I mean, does it affect you?

24:35 Me?

24:36 Drew Yeah.

24:36 Well, like, it bugs me. I don't know. Every time I see, like, my dad, well, it's like, the way for... They think he's asleep and they just have sex and my brother sees it, you know? And, like, it happens to him, too.

24:46 Adam Do your parents know that he sees it or that he's just told you?

24:49 Well, I told my mom once and she didn't care.

24:52 Adam Wow.

24:53 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Your brother goes into your parents' bedroom to sleep with them, right?

24:58 Yeah.

24:59 Drew Your parents think he's asleep and they have sex?

25:01 Yep.

25:02 Drew On the same bed?

25:04 Well, yeah. They get crazy all over the place, basically.

25:07 Drew All over the place? And then how do you know about this?

25:10 Because my little brother tells me and you can hear him.

25:13 Adam I think you should call Child Protection Services. I really do. Yeah, I do.

25:17 For real?

25:18 Adam Yeah, I do.

25:18 Drew Well, wait a minute. What's your dad do for a living?

25:21 He's a manager for SNH Health.

25:24 Drew All right. Is that that food company? No.

25:26 Caller It's like tools.

25:29 Oh, great.

25:29 Drew Tools? Does he work at a tool place?

25:33 Caller Well, like, tools.

25:33 They have, like, stereos and they have, like, a lot of stuff.

25:37 Drew Oh, I'm down with both those things. OK. Your dad's a manager. You got a decent house?

25:42 Yeah.

25:43 Drew Your mom's a housewife or?

25:45 Uh, no, she works.

25:46 Drew All right. So everyone has their own room, right?

25:49 Yeah.

25:49 Drew And what is what is your brother? You got to get your brother to stay in his room. You got to talk to your mom. She sounds sane. Talk to your mom and say that your brother.

25:59 Adam No, he already told her. She told her mom.

26:00 Drew What does your mom say when you tell her this?

26:03 Well, she basically tells her, like, it's not our business or whatever.

26:07 Adam Well, you got to listen to Job Protective Services.

26:09 Drew What does she say to them?

26:10 Adam Say, listen, they're not going to take the kids away for this kind of thing, but they're going to pull the parents aside and go, hey, cut it out, which is what they need. Some little parenting classes will help with them.

26:20 Drew What about your dad? Can you talk to him?

26:23 I can't. Sometimes I like hate, like, well, I don't hate my dad, but just grosses me out. You know, I just like, I look at him and I can just like picture him having sex and just...

26:30 Adam Did he do something to you or did he make you watch something?

26:32 Um, no. Huh? No.

26:35 Caller Come here and give me a hug!

26:39 Adam Did he have a lot of pornography around, that kind of thing when you were growing up?

26:41 Uh, yeah.

26:42 Adam See, that's not good.

26:43 Drew Did he ever touch you?

26:44 No.

26:45 Adam That's not good.

26:45 Caller No, not at all.

26:47 Adam Just all that sex stuff.

26:47 Drew Does he drink?

26:48 Uh, no, he stopped drinking.

26:51 He stopped like four years ago.

26:52 Drew Oh, after he touched you?

26:54 Adam Listen, you got to, I mean, this is a salvageable situation.

26:57 I hope he never touched me.

26:58 Adam Yeah, yes, you need some help with this. You really do. And just your exposure to all that material at a young age can really affect you. It'll affect how she feels about men.

27:07 Drew You know, one good night of gas would get your brother right out of there. You know what I mean? Just dad just blowing that big Mexican ass all night. Just, you know, don't you think that would do it?

27:18 Adam Oh, yeah, Adam, that's in fact one of the most standard treatments for this kind of situation.

27:23 The thing that bugs me the more is that like my brother makes it seem like he likes seeing my parents do it or whatever.

27:28 Drew All right. Okay. Call, I don't know, Drew, tell her what to do.

27:31 Adam Child Protective Services. Call Social Services, okay?

27:33 Drew How does she call them?

27:35 Adam Give me the book. Where's our black book?

27:37 Drew What's up with parents?

27:38 Adam I know. Welcome to America. Give me the book.

27:42 Drew This is not America anymore. What book?

27:44 Adam The Black Book Center.

27:45 Drew I'm not giving you the book. Forget about it. Just tell her to look in the front of the phone book. The front of the phone book has everything. All those numbers, right? You want to know how many people the Hollywood Bowl holds, you look in the front of the phone book. Now we're getting, we're taking a break, Drew. So look at the front of the phone book, has all those emergency numbers, every number. She doesn't even have a pen on her. Just look in the front of the phone book. All right, we're going to take a break. We'll be back. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. So Drew, why don't you, and this will go out to everybody who may want to get ready with a pad and pencil, who may think they may need to call one of these numbers. We'll take a call and then Drew will read a number off. All right?

28:34 Adam Just a random number?

28:35 Drew Any number. And in no particular order.

28:40 Adam I think I've got a national line here.

28:41 Drew All right. But let's take a call and let our last caller reset the... What was that?

28:46 Adam What the hell was the number?

28:47 Drew Yese. Yese can pick up a pencil and a piece of paper. And after this call, we'll give that number out. And anyone else can write it down who may need the services. Justin?

29:00 Best Of CLL #1622 Yo, what's up, dawg?

29:01 Drew He's 22.

29:03 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah. Drew, Adam, you guys are awesome, man. I listen to y'all all the time.

29:08 Drew Thanks.

29:08 Best Of CLL #1622 And I got a request. I heard some kind of Dr. Drew rap like the Dr. Drew shuffle.

29:14 Drew Oh, yes.

29:14 Adam Boogie was one of the rap.

29:15 Drew We had the boogie and the shuffle.

29:17 Best Of CLL #1622 Did you play the shuffle?

29:20 Drew I think we played the Dr. Drew boogie on his birthday a couple of times. I don't know if we ever played the shuffle.

29:26 Adam We played both.

29:26 Drew Oh, we did play both. All right.

29:28 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah, it cracked me up, man.

29:29 Adam And there's apparently a new piece of, no, Anderson's saying no. Well, I let Adam prescreen it before the next break, before the next segment, because there's a Pan Pan parody.

29:39 Drew All right. But no one knows who Pan Pan is and Anderson's not high on it, so forget it. Hey, Justin. Yeah.

29:45 Caller Yeah.

29:46 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah. Well, I called because I got like an anger problem, and I get mad a lot and I hurt people and stuff, you know?

29:52 Drew How do you hurt them?

29:54 Best Of CLL #1622 Beat them up and stuff, you know? I'm a skinhead and all that.

29:59 Drew You're a, wait a minute.

30:00 Adam Do you live in Cincinnati?

30:02 Drew What kind of skinhead?

30:03 Adam Wait, listen.

30:04 Drew Is a white skinhead?

30:05 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah.

30:06 Drew Wow, you sound black.

30:08 Best Of CLL #1622 No, I'm a pure white Christian man.

30:10 Adam How did I know he's from Cincinnati?

30:12 Drew It says Ohio on there.

30:13 Adam No. Yeah, but we have other cities in Ohio. Yeah. I'm telling you, I've been to Cincinnati a few times last year, and there is such like anger in that city. It's like it's palpable, everybody.

30:25 Drew Oh yeah, you were saying that.

30:26 Adam Remember that? Yeah. Justin just sounds like he feels like that city field. I don't know what the hell is going on in that.

30:33 Drew Well, skinheads don't like blacks, right?

30:36 Best Of CLL #1622 Well, I just recently became one. It's like, I'm sure you guys heard about the riots and all that.

30:42 Drew Yeah, recently became a skinhead.

30:46 Best Of CLL #1622 I've always been angry, man, and that really set it off.

30:49 Drew But you know the thing that I find ironic is I thought Justin was black for the first minute and a half I was talking to him. It's ironic that he's a skinhead.

30:59 Best Of CLL #1622 I used to be a crip.

31:01 Drew You used to be a crip?

31:02 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah.

31:03 Drew Wait a second.

31:04 Adam Isn't that white?

31:05 Drew White crip?

31:07 Best Of CLL #1622 No, no.

31:07 Drew Don't you got to be black to be a crip?

31:10 Best Of CLL #1622 I used to be with mass black people and all that, you know?

31:13 Adam Oh, no, I'm totally confused.

31:15 Drew Hold on. You used to be a crip, which I thought an exclusively black gang.

31:22 Best Of CLL #1622 No.

31:23 Drew Really? What if the bloods are looking for some, well, they're expanding. They're probably letting Jews in next thing you know.

31:31 Best Of CLL #1622 I was looking to see how I could deal with my anger, man.

31:33 Drew Okay. All right. Well, that's trouble. Well, what do you do for a living?

31:37 Best Of CLL #1622 Car wash.

31:39 Drew Well, that's seems like a good place to spend your time. I mean, if you're angry, you can throw those soapy towels at cars. You do? What do you get? You get tips?

31:48 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah, you get tips. Yeah.

31:50 Drew Okay.

31:50 Best Of CLL #1622 Six bucks an hour plus tips. I usually bring home about 80 bucks and tips a day.

31:55 Drew 80 bucks and tips.

31:56 Best Of CLL #1622 That's pretty good.

31:58 Drew That ain't too bad. And plus whatever change you can get out of the ashtray, right?

32:03 Best Of CLL #1622 No. I stole some roaches before. That's right.

32:06 Drew Yeah. What are they going to do? Come back and complain? Someone stole my drugs. Hey, Justin, let me give you a quick tip, speaking of tips and car washes, and spread it around throughout the car wash community. Hopefully, it'll start in Ohio and make its way out to California. Feel free to put the goddamn seat back where it was when you got into the car. Every guy who works at a car wash out here in LA is a midget. I'm 6'2, and I got to blow myself to get crawled back into my car.

32:31 Adam And go ahead and push the number one button. That's all you got to do.

32:34 Drew Oh, me?

32:34 Adam No, I mean, these guys resetting the seats. Now they have to get it back. They just push the reset button. Is it the reset? Yeah, what is it?

32:41 Drew My real view mirror faces down to the console, and the seats pushed up past the steering wheel. I use the sun visors, the headrest for the first couple of miles.

32:50 Adam Well, Justin, listen, I'm just curious about that town, because when I walk around, I think to myself, man, every parent in this town must use a whip to discipline their kids.

33:00 Best Of CLL #1622 I'll tell you how it is, man. Everybody's angry around here, man.

33:04 Adam I know. I've been there. I feel it. But do you think my sort of take on this is because parents probably beat the crap out of their kids in that town because they're angry too.

33:12 Best Of CLL #1622 I really didn't. That really didn't happen to me, but I know people that have happened.

33:19 Drew Well, Justin, all right, let me ask you this. Do you have any plans for the future?

33:24 Best Of CLL #1622 Well, yeah, I kind of like want to be a boxer or something.

33:28 Adam No, that's good. That's a good way to channel that anger.

33:30 Drew Start training.

33:31 Adam Yeah, that's excellent.

33:33 Best Of CLL #1622 I've been training.

33:34 Drew Okay, where do you train?

33:36 Best Of CLL #1622 I train at Golden Blur.

33:38 Drew Okay. Well, you stick with that. That helps with your anger.

33:41 Best Of CLL #1622 Yeah, I know that's why I got into it.

33:43 Adam And whatever you do, do not get into drugs, particularly not stimulants because that will accelerate all this and you'll do something insane.

33:49 Drew All right. Smoke that weed and hit that heavy bag and you'll be fine. And Drew, I don't know, what you do? Join an anger management group or something? I don't know if he's going to do that.

34:00 Adam I doubt it's going to work. But I mean, I think, you know, having framboise is constructive ways to act out his anger. But he needs to focus on containing things, not on accelerating all this, or maybe get out of some of these provocative kinds of groups he's in. Because skinhead is that sort of way to act that all out, like massage all that craziness.

34:16 Drew Buddy?

34:17 Adam Yes.

34:17 Drew Year 19?

34:19 Caller Yes.

34:19 Drew What's up?

34:21 Caller I believe my mother is a schizophrenic. I am away at college. I'm about four and a half hours away from home. And she thinks she is going to marry God. We managed to get my sister out of there.

34:36 Drew Is she dating God at this point? Does she have a ring?

34:41 Adam How old is she?

34:42 Caller It's pretty intense.

34:43 Adam How old is she?

34:44 Caller She is 43.

34:46 Adam In schizophrenia, it does not come out of 43. She is either doing drugs...

34:51 Caller Okay, she was doing drugs. And I know that cocaine can do a very similar effect. Speed.

34:56 Adam This is speed, probably. Cocaine, no. Cocaine, she will be by herself in a dark room looking out the window at policemen running around. Speed makes people very grandiose, very paranoid about their family and friends, and real wildly psychotic. Or it can induce, or this could be a manic episode, which cocaine can leave behind, a manic depressive type biology. And in whatever it is, she needs to be in a psychiatric hospital. There is treatment for it.

35:20 Drew You want to know, by the way, how you know all these serious bornagans and god nuts, or you know how they are all insane? Because the first thing a person does when they snap mentally is go right to Jesus. Think about it. So I mean, they think they are his child, or they think they are going to marry him, right? The people that are like the bornagans are about halfway there normally. That's just halfway insane. You know what I mean? Nobody goes nuts and believes there is no god and they have no relation to him. They go nuts and think they are god or going to marry god, right?

35:55 Caller As an atheist, I agree totally.

35:56 Drew Right. So the ones that think that they are going to live in god's palace the second they die and believe all that nonsense, they are about half nuts. That's about it. They are functionally nuts.

36:06 Adam I think you are using logic to describe something that is not a logical.

36:13 Drew Thank you.

36:13 Adam Thank you. What we need is proof that that part of the brain is activated in the same way.

36:19 Drew Well, put it this way. You go totally, you snap and go wacko. You think you are going to marry god or you think you are a god, right?

36:28 Adam Here is what I can do. You are alone in jail, in solitary. That's when you see god. Every time.

36:33 Drew Okay. So, hold on a second. What should he do?

36:35 Adam Now, the question then becomes, though, is that because your brain is receptive in that kind of condition or is that because of anything?

36:40 Drew The nuttier you are, the closer to god you get. What should Buddy do?

36:45 Adam You got to call the police. You got to get her to the hospital. She is what is called gravely impaired and they will take her in against her will.

36:49 Caller They will. Well, I tried. Okay. She is also addictive. She has alcohol. I visited maybe two weeks ago and she was really drunk and they said that they wouldn't take her in because of that. So, I am away from home. Can I like call them remotely and tell them that?

37:05 Adam I would think so. And again, when somebody is gravely impaired, they have a responsibility to bring her in. And this could be related to her alcohol. She could have alcoholic liver disease. This could be what's called encephalopathy. She could have brain damage from the alcohol. There's a lot of things that can cause this also.

37:18 Drew Let me tell you, my parents haven't lost it yet, but the day they do, that's when I put them down. Just like a pet that tried to bite the kids. You know what I mean?

37:28 Adam You just put them to sleep.

37:30 Drew Yeah, I think everyone agrees. It's sort of the humane thing to do.

37:33 Adam Again, we could sort of dial back the clock to the 70s when people were put in hospitals with guys in white suits, with big nets and straight jackets, where everyday occurrence.

37:41 Drew I'm going to chase my dad around with a big butterfly net for a while.

37:44 Adam And he'll, of course, consider himself Napoleon.

37:46 Drew That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for when people go nuts, they think they're Napoleon.

37:51 Adam And then we apply a straight jacket. What's a straight jacket?

37:56 Yeah.

37:56 Drew You're 13?

37:57 Caller Yeah. What's up?

37:59 I like this guy a lot.

38:01 Caller And I was wondering if I can tell if he likes me or not.

38:06 Drew How old is he?

38:08 He's the same age as I am.

38:09 Adam Thirteen.

38:11 Drew Sounds like she's going to say nineteen.

38:13 Adam I heard that too.

38:14 Drew Is he in your classes or does he go to school with you?

38:17 Caller Yeah, he goes to the same school as I do. He's in my literature class and he's in my PE class and he's in a couple of my classes.

38:26 Adam Why don't you ask him out?

38:27 Drew Wait a minute. Hold on. He's in your PE class?

38:30 Caller Huh? Yeah.

38:31 Drew What? You guys have co-ed PE.?

38:34 Caller Yeah.

38:34 Drew You go to a private school?

38:36 Caller No.

38:36 Drew They got the co-ed PE going in public schools now?

38:39 Adam Yeah.

38:39 Drew Holy Christ. What's next?

38:41 Adam By the way, you didn't let me get over that phone number. They're going to do a prevent child abuse phone number, two of them, 1-800-CHILDREN. Okay. 1-800-CHILDREN. That's 244-5373. What? Relax. Hang on. This isn't for you necessarily. Oh, okay. And the other is 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

38:58 Drew All right. 1-800-4-A-CHILD. So anyway, Brittany. Yeah? Do you talk to him? Are you friendly with him?

39:05 Caller Yeah. I try to be, but he's like really shy and he kind of like, I don't know. I was wondering if I should like ask my friends, say I can ask him?

39:15 Adam No, ask him to the move. Yeah. Well, no, just ask him to the move. Well, guys don't mind this thing.

39:20 Drew He's 13, right?

39:21 Adam Yeah.

39:21 Drew So he's kind of squirrely.

39:23 Adam Yeah. Guys don't need a woman stepping up to the plate. You know what I mean? It's not as important for a guy or a woman herself come. If he finds out that she's interested through a friend, it's just as good as any other way, if he's interested.

39:35 Drew But here's the problem with 13. You may be unable to act as a guy.

39:41 Adam Right. So she can ask him to do a movie or something. Let's go have an idea. Let's go do something. And no matter how sort of squirrely he seems, push it a little bit.

39:49 Drew Well, I mean, yeah, don't club him over the head and drag him to the theater if he doesn't want to go. I want you. Are you going to see him tomorrow? Yeah. I want you to wear like some hip huggers or something. It's important to put together a sexy package. And talk to him. Talk to him about movies. Is there a movie you want to see?

40:12 Caller No particular one.

40:14 Drew Okay. It's important to think of a particular movie.

40:17 Caller Yeah.

40:18 Drew Anything out there right now?

40:20 Adam Research it ahead.

40:22 Caller Not really.

40:23 Drew You're livin in Riverside?

40:25 Caller Yeah.

40:25 Drew All right. So probably not the new movies playing there. But I think like Tora Tora Tora is playing somewhere. Or Clockwork Orange or something like that. What movies are in Riverside right now? What year are we in Riverside? 1975? 74? Where are we? No.

40:40 Adam They're in Graffiti's playing down the street.

40:41 Caller I'm sure of it.

40:44 Drew You guys are going to get a crappy car there soon called the K-Car. It came out in 1979. Don't buy it. It's bad.

40:51 Adam That gremlin is going to go though.

40:53 Caller All right.

40:54 Caller Let's see.

40:56 Caller There's like Jeepers Creepers and stuff like that.

40:58 Drew Jeepers Creepers. There you go. There's a scary movie.

41:01 Adam And you pick it and get the time and buy the tickets.

41:04 Drew No, no, no. Don't buy the tickets.

41:05 Adam All right. We'll get a plane. Talk to the guy.

41:07 Drew Look. I'll be the guy. Okay? You be Drew. Drew, you be Brittany. You ready? Now, Brittany, you be Brittany. What's the guy's name?

41:16 Caller I don't want to say because you might be listening.

41:18 Drew All right.

41:18 Adam We'll just take a pic and name him Bill.

41:20 Drew Let's call him Bill.

41:21 Caller Yeah.

41:22 Drew Okay. Now, you come up. I'll be Bill, the guy who's playing the guy you want to go. Go ahead. Ready?

41:28 Adam No Bills anymore.

41:29 Drew Bring the movie up.

41:30 Okay.

41:31 Drew Hey, Brittany.

41:32 Hi. I don't know.

41:38 Caller He's like really hard to talk to.

41:39 I don't know why.

41:40 Drew Yeah. I am Bill. So talk to me. Hey, what's happening?

41:45 Caller Nothing much. I don't think I'm going to ask him to a movie.

41:54 Drew No, you don't. Don't ask him to a movie. Ask him. Ask him. Just bring up movies.

42:00 Adam You seen any movies lately?

42:01 Drew Much.

42:01 Adam Oh.

42:02 Drew Yeah. Go ahead. You see?

42:03 Adam Well, now, wait.

42:04 Drew You'll be Brittany. Okay. All right. Here it is. I'll be Brittany. You'll be Bill. You'll be Bill. All right. Okay. Are you ready? Here it goes. Hey, how's it going there, Bill?

42:14 Caller This is. That's exactly what he does.

42:16 Drew No, no. Stay in character.

42:17 Adam Just be Bill. Just be Bill. I'll be you.

42:19 Drew How you doing? How you doing, Bill?

42:21 Caller Fine.

42:21 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a good weekend?

42:23 Caller Yeah.

42:24 Drew Yeah. Me too. I was. I was going to see. Saturday, I was going to see that Jeepers Creepers. I want to see that movie, but I didn't get a chance to. Stupid brother Kurt is boffing his girlfriend. He wouldn't give me a ride to the movie theater. But I really want to see that movie.

42:37 Caller Oh, that sucks.

42:38 Drew Yeah. Do you see those billboards around?

42:41 Caller Um, not really.

42:43 Drew No, you didn't see that? Do you ever heard of that Jeepers Creepers?

42:47 Yeah.

42:47 Drew Yeah. Pretty scary, huh?

42:49 I guess.

42:50 Drew Yeah. I like scary movies. You like scary movies?

42:53 No.

42:54 Adam Perfect. She's being good Bill.

42:57 Drew That's good. Yeah. I like comedies too. You like comedies? What kind of movies do you like?

43:02 Caller Uh, crappy movies.

43:05 Drew I heard that Jeepers Creepers sucks.

43:07 Adam It's a crappy movie.

43:08 Drew Yeah. I'm going to see that. I think I'm going to see that this weekend. You ever think about seeing that movie?

43:14 Yeah, I guess.

43:15 Drew Yeah. I'm going to go on Saturday. You want to go with me?

43:19 Caller I have plans.

43:21 Caller That's exactly what he does.

43:22 Caller Seriously.

43:23 Adam Then he doesn't want to go out.

43:24 Drew Oh, then don't ask him out.

43:24 Adam Yeah, he doesn't want to go out.

43:26 Caller No, he's like...

43:27 Drew Plan 2. Get the pepper spray out. Yeah.

43:29 Adam If he absolutely roadblocks you in Stonewalls, you're going to forget it.

43:32 Caller No. One time. Okay.

43:33 Drew All right. Listen. Hold on. Hold on. I'm getting old here. I got to shave. Look, you ask him about that. You bring up a movie. Just bring up a movie. If he likes you, he'll tell you he wants to see that movie. Okay. If he doesn't like you, he'll tell you he doesn't want to see it and he's not interested. Okay. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

43:52 Adam Yeah. All I have plans is like, forget it. I have plans.

43:55 Drew Right. Game off. All right. We'll take a break.

43:59 Loveline.

44:00 Best Of CLL #1622 We'll be right back.

44:05 Drew Loveline. Adam here. Drew there. Producer Ann. Big Chargers fan.

44:12 Best Of CLL #1622 Oh yeah.

44:14 Drew Big Charger victory today. There's the mic.

44:16 Adam There we go.

44:17 Drew Looking good. Flutie and Company over there. All right. Let's flukie. Flukie. Let's get to some calls here. Josie.

44:27 Yes.

44:28 Drew You're 21.

44:29 Caller Yeah.

44:29 Drew What's up?

44:31 Caller Every time. Well, about 98 percent of the time when me and my fiance have sex and when he ejaculates, he says it hurts.

44:38 Adam It hurts him.

44:39 Caller Yeah, for him.

44:40 Adam Does it hurt afterwards? It hurts immediately. What hurts? Does it burn when he pees? What's the deal?

44:45 Caller No, I asked him if it hurts when he pees and he says no.

44:48 Adam Does he get pain like under his behind his test? He's kind of up in there?

44:52 Caller No, just in the shaft.

44:54 Adam He gets pain in the shaft during the ejaculation?

44:56 Yeah, that's what he says.

44:59 Adam Does he have any bending or anything like that weird in his penis?

45:02 Caller No.

45:04 Drew Is he having an intercourse with you when this happens?

45:08 Caller Yeah.

45:09 Drew What about when he whacks off? Does it hurt?

45:13 Caller He doesn't. Well, as far as I know, he doesn't.

45:16 Adam Don't you ask him, don't you say, honey, do you whack off? Is that what you're saying?

45:19 Caller Well, I do ask him and he says no.

45:22 Caller He gets plenty of sex.

45:23 Caller Why should he whack off?

45:24 Adam Because he's a male.

45:26 Drew We don't have enough time for me to really get into the nuances of that answer.

45:29 Adam Josie was very headstrong in the way she presented that.

45:32 Drew He can make time, believe me. Yeah, she's scaring me a little. Maybe he has a little prostate problem, maybe a little infection or something, Drew?

45:43 Adam The pain in the shaft is kind of a weird symptom. Are you insisting, are you demanding he have more sex than he wants to?

45:51 Drew Uh-uh?

45:52 Adam Uh-uh.

45:52 Drew Okay.

45:53 Adam Are you sure he doesn't say, oh, guy, we just did it 12 hours ago and can't quite keep up or anything?

46:00 Drew I'll tell him to beat one out and see if it hurts when he does that.

46:03 Adam Yeah.

46:04 Drew He might as well. That masturbating is sort of like hooking a car up to the dynamometer, which is it's not exactly a road test, but you can simulate it and still figure out what's wrong with it without going out on the road.

46:18 Adam He needs to see a doctor if there is still continued to be pain, because I suspect if he described his symptoms more accurately, we'd be able to figure it out better, but pain in the shaft is not a typical symptom.

46:30 Drew Sarah?

46:31 Caller Yes.

46:32 Drew The doctor said you might have polycystic ovarian disease.

46:36 Caller I guess it's a syndrome. I don't know.

46:39 Caller I tried to go on the Internet and figure out what it was.

46:41 Adam You should. I think the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston has a big polycystic ovarian sort of, if not sight, they have a huge study going on.

46:49 Drew I went on a tour, I think, when I was in junior high.

46:51 Caller I couldn't understand half of it.

46:53 Adam Well, it's a common syndrome. Hallmark is people are typically slightly overweight, and there is usually a multiple cyst formation. There is a regular periods. And the big reason for trying to identify this now is that it's associated with sort of a diabetic kind of condition. And it certainly is important to get on that very early as it can prevent complications down the line.

47:16 Drew Amanda?

47:18 Hello?

47:18 Drew 16?

47:19 Yeah.

47:20 Drew What's up?

47:21 Um, I, my boyfriend lives in Arizona and stuff. I only get to see him once a year, and I went to this party this past weekend, and I got a hickey from this guy. And, yeah, I want to know how to get rid of this hickey, because it's so huge.

47:38 Drew When are you going to see your boyfriend again?

47:41 Um, May, for prom.

47:43 Adam It'll be gone by May. Yeah.

47:45 Drew Yeah, it'll be gone by probably March.

47:47 For my parents.

47:48 Drew Oh, your parents.

47:48 Adam Is it on your neck?

47:49 Yeah. It's really, really dark, too. It's, like, massive.

47:54 Adam Oh, boy.

47:55 Drew What kind of strategy is that?

47:57 Adam Yeah, guys don't do that, do they?

47:59 Drew I thought they stopped giving hickies.

48:00 Adam Well, women still kind of have to sort of mark their territory a little bit, I think.

48:04 Drew Guys giving hickies, huh? Big on the neck. Drew, is there any way, ice, a steak? What happened to putting a steak on something? That used to cure stuff.

48:13 Adam A steak on the eye.

48:14 Drew Put a steak on that black eye?

48:15 Adam A steak on black eye.

48:17 Drew Yeah.

48:17 Adam Very funny.

48:20 Drew Man, that's before your time. Guys just put a steak on their black eye.

48:25 Adam Fred Flintstone, do it typically.

48:27 Drew I don't know. Well, you know, makeup would help, right?

48:30 I tried that.

48:31 It doesn't work.

48:32 Drew What's a hickey good for these days? Five days, a week, something like that? Maybe be around for a little bit.

48:38 Adam Maybe change your, you know, where on the neck is it? In the front? Yeah. Can you work high collars or bow tie?

48:46 Drew Drew, is there any possible excuse for a hickey or a hickey-like mark around the neck?

48:53 Adam Like a tennis ball at full throttle.

48:57 Drew Do you play any sports?

48:59 Adam An ice hockey puck? Oh, no.

49:01 Drew Yeah. Is there a, I'm trying to think. No, I know what I know. Tell them you were doing a auto-erotic asphyxiation experiment where you took your bathrobe tie and you tied it around your neck and you were hanging yourself while you were masturbating and that's what caused the mark. That should suffice, right?

49:21 Adam Yeah. And here's the thing with the parents. They don't want to hear about whatever it is. You know what I'm saying? They're not going to go, what is this? They just say, whatever. Move along, move along.

49:31 Drew Yeah, I don't know. Just wear a dickie or a bandana or something like that.

49:35 Adam Bandana, there you go. That's coming back.

49:36 Drew Yeah, cultivate a look for a week or so until it goes away.

49:40 Adam Scarf.

49:41 Drew And we'll be back. Hey, hey, Loveline and Adam, that's Drew. All right.

50:11 Adam We got to go up there with them, we do.

50:12 Drew Yes. We have them lovely Middle Eastern food with System of a Dam. Adam, that's Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's hop back to the phones. And somebody says they have a cure for hickeys, a remedy for hickeys.

50:28 Adam Look at that, look at that. If you don't think I'm lame, look at that.

50:31 Drew Punches the mic for the third time in the first hour. I know because it's one of our callers, it's going to be completely useless, but I'll indulge myself anyway. Jessica?

50:43 Caller Yeah?

50:43 Drew You're 18, how do you cure a hickey?

50:46 Caller By either putting a spoon in the freezer and use it to scrape it off basically, or using a lipstick cap and twisting on the hickey, and it'll lighten it a lot.

50:59 Drew What the-

51:00 Caller It's not useless information.

51:02 Drew Okay, hold on.

51:02 Adam What you're going to get instead is a giant wound of some type.

51:06 Drew Using a frozen spoon to scrape it off?

51:09 Caller Yeah, because the cold will basically make it go away, I guess. It works.

51:14 Adam That's a nice explanation. The cold will make it go away. That's good.

51:19 Drew All right, now wait a second. I understand putting a cold on what is essentially a bruise in a sense, right? Is it a bruise to your body?

51:27 Adam Yeah, it's a petechia. It's a broken capillary.

51:30 Drew So taking a sack, filling it with ice and putting it on a neck would probably help some, right?

51:36 Adam No. In fact, heat is what accelerates the breakdown.

51:40 Drew So better to put heat on it.

51:42 Adam Yeah, I would suspect.

51:43 Drew Now, the frozen spoon part in you scraping away, how does that work?

51:47 Adam It doesn't make any sense at all.

51:49 Caller It works. I don't know how it works, but it does.

51:51 Adam You've done it.

51:52 Caller I've done it. I've had friends do it.

51:54 Drew Well, you know what it is. You turn your whole neck beat red and the hickey doesn't show up.

51:58 Adam And by the way, I've never heard that you used the spoon to scrape. You laid the spoon across it. Was that what I was heard?

52:04 Caller Well, lay the spoon across it whenever it's like...

52:06 Drew But any...

52:06 Adam Well, no, wait a minute. Whatever. What did you do exactly?

52:09 Caller Well, I used to use a lipstick cap.

52:12 Adam So you haven't used the spoon?

52:13 Drew How do you do the lipstick cap?

52:15 Caller Like you use it and put it on the hickey and start twisting kind of thing.

52:18 Drew But what side of the lipstick cap do you use?

52:21 Caller The open side.

52:22 Drew Use the open side. So you put the open side of the lipstick cap on the hickey and you start twisting it like you're putting out a cigarette?

52:31 Caller Yeah. That definitely works. I tried that one.

52:35 Drew And you just do it on the hickey area, not around it?

52:39 Caller Yeah, on the hickey area.

52:41 Drew What if you just took your thumb or ballpoint pen or something?

52:45 Adam Right.

52:46 Drew Okay, thank you. How does that? How could that possibly work?

52:50 Adam It couldn't. Or it doesn't make sense anyway.

52:52 Drew You think an open-lipsic camp is like taking a thimble, the open end of a thimble, putting it on your neck and rubbing it into your neck. So basically, her remedy for hickey is trauma to the affected area.

53:09 Adam Right. I've never heard that you use the poon to scrape. The poon to scrape. That's good.

53:15 Drew Okay. Well, you can try that. Open lips to camp in a circle. Colin?

53:21 Yeah.

53:22 Drew You're 29?

53:23 Caller Hey, you guys are great.

53:24 Drew Thanks.

53:27 Caller And if I could give the Academy Award, you would win one for your 13-year-old Bill.

53:31 Very funny.

53:32 Drew Oh, thanks. Yes, playing the part of 13-year-old Bill?

53:35 Caller Yes, it was very convincing.

53:36 Drew Thank you.

53:37 Adam I think he was playing Britney, though.

53:38 Drew I did switch to Britney at a certain point.

53:40 Caller That wasn't as good.

53:41 Drew She played a convincing Bill, though, by the way. She stonewalled me all the way.

53:46 Caller It's as if you played Bill yourself when you were 13.

53:49 Drew Thank you. Oh, yes. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

53:54 Caller Actually, the world is my oyster.

53:55 Drew We may have a lightning round tonight, by the way. Oh, dope. But the weather has changed. I'd like to get the weather and the time out, maybe some traffic conditions.

54:05 Caller Thursday, you had questions about pulp and paper industry.

54:08 Adam Oh, yeah.

54:08 Drew Yeah.

54:09 Caller What? Anything specific you want to know about?

54:11 Drew No. It was just sort of the guy called and said he worked at a pulp factory, and I asked him about two questions and he faded immediately. He had no idea what I was talking about.

54:19 Caller I'm not going to fade for you, man.

54:20 Adam But that's the comedy, see?

54:21 Drew Yeah, it's better to make fun of people, Colin, not smart people like you. So what's your question, Colin?

54:27 Caller I don't have a question. I wanted to answer your questions.

54:30 Drew Oh, about pulp. All right. I don't know. My question to him was, here is my pulp question. Are there pulp trees? Now, pulp is made from wood.

54:40 Caller Yes.

54:41 Drew Right. And I'm asking, when you run a sawmill, a lumber mill, you have a lot of excess material, right? Does that excess, that sawdust, the chips, the stuff, the bark, the stuff they can't sell at the lumber store, does that go into manufacturing pulp?

54:57 Caller Real quickly, chips are used to make paper only. Sawdust and other materials.

55:04 Drew It gets reformed?

55:06 Caller To make press boards.

55:07 Drew Right.

55:07 Caller Sawdust and shaving.

55:08 Adam How do you separate chips from sawdust?

55:10 Drew Well, chips are chips.

55:12 Caller Chips are made from the larger sections of a log.

55:16 Adam Oh, boy.

55:18 Drew And that goes into making the paper. This?

55:20 Adam You know, I loved that Pacific Northwest. You know, you spend time there? It's so pretty.

55:24 Drew Oh, it was Razor. No, I never go there. Thank you. Robin?

55:30 Adam Yeah.

55:31 Caller You're 18?

55:32 Adam Yeah.

55:32 Drew What's up?

55:35 Caller I'm an opiate addict.

55:38 Caller I've been snorting, like, Tylox pills and such for about four years now.

55:43 Drew Hold on. What kind of pills?

55:45 Adam It's Vicodin. It's Vicodin as well.

55:47 Caller It's like Vicodin, Tylenol, codeine type things.

55:50 Drew You snort them, huh?

55:52 Caller Yeah. I've been snorting them for about four years.

55:53 Drew How long does that keep you high when you snort one of those?

55:56 Adam About four hours. But you've been just starting up since you were 14.

55:59 Caller Yeah.

56:00 Adam Oh, my God.

56:01 Caller The thing was that my mother had the prescription and I would steal it from her.

56:04 Adam Yeah, but at 14 to need that much help escaping feelings must have been just hell you were living in.

56:10 Caller Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, it gets worse. So, I tried heroin and such and I overdosed and I haven't tried it since. It's been a year and a couple months since I've done that. But I have a prescription for Oxycontin now and it's my prescription. I have way too much of it and I've been shooting it like mainlining it.

56:37 Drew How do you do that?

56:40 Caller You take the coating off, you wash the coating off, crush it, mix it with water, cook it up and then...

56:47 Adam Non-sterile water, just plain water out of the tap?

56:50 Caller Yeah.

56:51 Adam You're going to get sick and die.

56:52 Drew You will?

56:53 Adam Yeah.

56:53 Drew You're shooting that?

56:54 Adam Yeah. You're getting infection in your heart valves, you're going to get infection in your skin.

56:57 Caller I get infections in my veins all the time.

57:01 Adam But you're not going to live long.

57:03 Drew But wait a minute, Drew. Doesn't cooking up that non-sterile water sterilize it?

57:07 Adam Does she cook it? Yeah.

57:09 Drew Do you say you cooked it up?

57:10 Adam I cook it, yeah. That's if she stirred it up.

57:12 Drew Wouldn't you...

57:13 Adam That's not going to do that much to her though, even some.

57:16 Drew Okay. What should she do? You get to do some saline?

57:19 Caller If I want to go into rehab and I know that if I go into rehab, I'm going to need to go into inpatient.

57:25 Adam Have you ever been before?

57:27 Caller No. I've been through detox where I go in every day and they give me a shot of buprenorphine. That's methadone.

57:34 Adam Oh, buprenax. Okay. How'd that work for you?

57:37 Caller It got me through withdrawal, but it didn't help the issue is that I'm an addict. I keep going back.

57:42 Adam Right. I mean, that's just-

57:43 Caller I want to know if should I take a leave of absence from school? Because I don't want to leave school.

57:49 Adam I don't want to go back. Take a semester off. Take a semester off. Before you totally screw up and fail out or get sick and die, take a semester off. Do what you got to do to get that semester off and take a semester and focus on your recovery. Yeah. You got to do that, Robin. You've been an opiate addict since you were a young teenager.

58:04 Drew In the big picture, that's nothing. And plus, you're sort of hobbled by this addiction anyway. You're not doing your best work.

58:13 Adam You will either die in the meantime or get sick and end up in a hospital or really F up at school. And so it is time. You got to deal with this.

58:21 Caller Okay.

58:22 Adam Just take the semester off. Look, listen, it's a medical problem. You deserve a semester off for medical issues. You'll get that. Any doctor treating this would give you that time off and disability too.

58:32 Drew What are you talking about?

58:34 Adam In other words, she can have it medically endorsed. And if she, if she had...

58:40 Drew She doesn't need to have it medically endorsed, does she?

58:42 Adam But if she's worried that the school will somehow... You know, some schools are really nasty about this. It's like unless you can prove that you must have the semester off, they'll fail you.

58:51 Drew If it's in the middle of a semester, you mean?

58:52 Adam No matter... anytime.

58:53 Drew You mean before you begin a semester?

58:55 Adam You got to be able to show that there's a reason for this. And she has that reason. That's my point. Not all schools, but some. Listen, I had professors that said the only excuse they would accept was my death.

59:06 Drew Oh, you didn't die.

59:07 Adam I didn't die.

59:07 Drew Well yeah, but then you wouldn't be worried about the excuse. You wouldn't be coming back next semester.

59:11 Adam They just told you not to worry about it.

59:12 Drew But I mean, look, if you did your freshman and sophomore year, and before you came back from your junior year, you decided to go to Europe and work on your uncle's farm for a semester before you came back.

59:22 Adam Yeah, many schools would support that, but again...

59:24 Drew Can't you just come back when you want to come back? What are you finishing?

59:28 Adam Some schools don't go over that.

59:29 Drew All right, you could get away with that. Yeah, that's right. Let's go to a junior college for guys.

59:32 Adam Let's go to a cooking school.

59:34 Drew Oh, please, what do they care? Here's to Pam. There's a, here's a cracking egg with one hand.

59:40 Adam Oh, Adam Todd, 27.

59:43 Drew Fairly old Todd.

59:45 Caller Yes, hello?

59:46 Drew Hello, wow.

59:47 Adam Let's see how you sound like Grandpa Todd.

59:48 Drew He's got about another month. What's up there, Todd?

59:51 Caller Okay, my question is, why is it that when I fart or when someone farts, it doesn't smell especially horrible to me, but it can be extremely offensive to other people in the room and vice versa?

1:00:05 Drew Well, no.

1:00:06 Caller Even if we've all eaten the same food and stuff like that, I would think.

1:00:10 Adam So you take great offense to other people's gas, is that what you're saying?

1:00:13 Caller Yeah.

1:00:13 Adam Oh, yeah. That's not really too hip to do that, right? Adam, you don't really get offended by other people's gas, do you? You sort of take great pride in other people's accomplishments sometimes.

1:00:23 Drew Like any serious competitor who loves a sport.

1:00:28 Adam Yeah, a guy hits a ball over your head and over the back.

1:00:30 Drew I respect it, though.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah, you don't like it, but you appreciate it.

1:00:33 Drew I'm not hoping the guy hits it over my head, but I can appreciate, you know, he's a trained athlete.

1:00:38 Caller Right.

1:00:38 Drew And I respect it.

1:00:40 Caller You find it less pleasant than if it were your own gas.

1:00:43 Adam Which he enjoys immensely.

1:00:45 Drew Yes.

1:00:45 Caller Right. And why is that? The food has gone through the same process. I think it should smell the same to him, regardless of where it's coming from.

1:00:54 Drew Well, you have two questions here. One is, is why are you more offended by other people's gas? Which is like, why are you more offended by other people's saliva than your own?

1:01:02 Adam Or BO.

1:01:03 Drew Well, not offended. Or whatever. Okay, listen, that's a retarded question.

1:01:07 Adam And I tell you, too much energy on this for that.

1:01:09 Drew Doesn't deserve an answer. Then the second one is an interesting one, which is, and I'll defer to Drew on this, so that we've had many conversations on and off the air about this, which is, if two guys sit down and eat exactly the same thing, why does it manifest itself in nasty gas in one person and maybe no gas in another person?

1:01:28 Adam Because the nasty smell comes primarily from methane produced by bacteria in your colon, and the bacteria that live in balance with your body are different individual to individual. And some of us are blessed with methane producing bacteria, and some have little or none.

1:01:46 Drew And that bacteria cannot be eradicated, right? That's in India?

1:01:49 Adam No, it's sort of your relationship with the environment.

1:01:54 Drew So for instance, I can eat garlic and have no difficulties.

1:01:57 Adam Right.

1:01:58 Drew Drew can eat garlic, and North America can have a difficulty.

1:02:02 Adam That's right.

1:02:03 Drew Right?

1:02:03 Adam And I can be sick too, like ill, and bring everyone along with me.

1:02:07 Drew The answer to this question too could be, how come some people are allergic to peanuts and other people aren't?

1:02:13 Adam Or why some people have BO or some people sweat?

1:02:15 Drew Yeah, but I mean, it's like, one, they both eat the same peanut, one person dies.

1:02:19 Adam Right.

1:02:20 Drew The other guy doesn't, the other guy enjoys the rest of the flight.

1:02:22 Adam That's right.

1:02:23 Drew Okay. Same thing. We're all different. That's the way God made us. That's the answer. John?

1:02:27 Yeah.

1:02:28 Drew You're 14?

1:02:29 Caller Yeah.

1:02:29 Drew What's up?

1:02:30 Caller Well, there's this girl that I really like, you know, and like we're really good friends. And, you know, I'm thinking about, you know, maybe I want to get closer, but like all our friends, they're all skaters and stuff and they like, they don't like me. And we were at the football game.

1:02:43 Drew They're all skaters?

1:02:44 Caller Yeah, they're all skaters.

1:02:45 Drew What kind of skater?

1:02:47 Caller Um, just, I don't know.

1:02:49 Adam Skaters?

1:02:50 Caller Just on all skaters because I like some of them, but they're just, they're stupid, they're immature, and, you know, I just don't get along with them.

1:02:57 Drew Skateboard skaters?

1:02:58 Caller Yeah.

1:02:59 Drew Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, and you're a biker, right?

1:03:02 Caller No, I don't.

1:03:03 Drew Or you're a jock. Oh, maybe, are you a soche?

1:03:05 Caller Yeah.

1:03:06 Drew Are you a greaser?

1:03:07 Caller No.

1:03:09 Drew Wait a minute. What was the... I'm trying to think of that movie. That was Matt Dillon. No, not Grease. What was that Matt Dillon movie? Give me that Matt Dillon one. The Outsiders. Yeah, like soches and greasers and all that.

1:03:23 Caller All right.

1:03:23 Drew So you're a jock?

1:03:25 Caller Yeah, I guess. All right.

1:03:26 Drew She's a skateboarder.

1:03:28 Caller No, she's just like...

1:03:30 Drew All her friends are?

1:03:31 Caller Yeah, sort of, yeah, I guess.

1:03:33 Drew All right. So who cares? Yeah, well, you like her and does she like you?

1:03:38 Caller She says she just wants to be really close friends.

1:03:40 Adam No, no, no, no.

1:03:42 Drew Well, if you could get her friends to stop riding a skateboard, she would love you.

1:03:46 Adam And there's a reason she likes sort of antisocial guys, okay? And if you're not that, you ain't on her list of attractions.

1:03:54 Drew Well, she ain't into you, John.

1:03:57 Adam She's into guys that are sort of a counterculture, peripheral.

1:04:01 Drew Whatever it is, you're too straight for her.

1:04:04 Caller I'm too straight? Okay.

1:04:05 Adam Yeah. Why are you attracted? Well, what's he attracted to? He's a fixer.

1:04:08 Drew No, I don't know. I've been attracted to girls that were little, little. Okay.

1:04:14 Adam Yeah, but I know where that comes from. And you, for Christ's sake.

1:04:16 Drew How dare you? Now listen to me.

1:04:19 Adam In fact, I'm surprised that it hasn't gone on.

1:04:23 Drew Listen, how dare you? The reason it hasn't perpetuated itself is because it was never part of me.

1:04:28 Adam Because 14 years of therapy.

1:04:31 Drew No, let me tell you.

1:04:31 Adam Finally got that one out.

1:04:32 Drew Do you want to know what I'm attracted to? Yes, you think.

1:04:36 Adam Quiet, lazy, what?

1:04:37 Drew Thank you. I like same qualities in a woman as I like in a dog.

1:04:42 Adam I thought you were gonna say.

1:04:43 Drew I like them black. I like them quiet and lazy. I like them jumping in the pool every once in a while, chase down a tennis ball.

1:04:50 Adam And no bark. Silent.

1:04:53 Drew No barking. And I want them to crap out in the yard. No, listen, how dare you, Drew? Yes, my mother is a little bit of a piece of work. And you were sort of... It took a little propping up. But here's what I'm into, chick-wise, and I've always been into. And I've told my family this much to their dismay. I size them up quite nicely and want the exact opposite.

1:05:17 Adam Of the parents, your parents. Yeah, yeah.

1:05:18 Drew Yeah. I'm attracted to women that are the exact opposite of my mom, which is, you know, slender and employed. Those are the two things I'm looking for in a woman. So it is not I'm not looking for a project. I'm actually looking for the opposite. How dare you? Okay. But I have been into chicks just because they were cute. And sometimes they're a little punk or they're a little whatever and they're still hot.

1:05:44 Adam You think it's a is that nasty quality that you like?

1:05:47 Drew No, I just I just people have their own way regardless of what color their hair is or what they're.

1:05:53 Adam No, but let's let's dissect a little bit. What is the what is the what is the attraction built on? You know, it's not style. It's some something more primitive, right?

1:06:01 Drew In my life, I've been attracted to a few girls who have been, you know, a little on the outside.

1:06:07 Adam But what is this? Just think about it.

1:06:09 Drew The quality is is they were just cute. They just happened to come up in this package.

1:06:14 Adam Not something some wildness or something.

1:06:16 Drew I would have preferred them to be more normal, I think. And the deal is, is those girls ain't into 14 year old jocks. They're too straight. They're not bad boys. And they need a bad boy. So John needs to find someone who's a daddy, love them and doesn't need a bad boy.

1:06:32 Adam He'll be a lot happier in the long run. Don't look for projects.

1:06:35 Drew And if they tell you, I just want to be friends right now, then that's friends forever. Hi, May?

1:06:43 Caller Yeah.

1:06:44 Drew Year 16?

1:06:45 Caller Yeah.

1:06:45 Drew What's up?

1:06:46 Caller I want to know if pot smoking can affect your emotions.

1:06:50 Adam Yeah?

1:06:51 Drew I'm tired of you.

1:06:52 Adam What specifically are you talking about?

1:06:53 Caller Well, I'm like, I'm not an occasional pot smoker, like not all the time. I'm on maybe once every three months.

1:07:01 Adam Yeah.

1:07:02 Caller And the other day, I smoked out with this one girl, just fell completely head over heels for her, been feeling this way ever since.

1:07:11 Adam Was she a girl that you had known before and not thought of that way?

1:07:14 Caller It's the first time I met her.

1:07:16 Adam Do you think you might have felt that way even if you weren't smoking pot?

1:07:20 Caller Yeah.

1:07:21 Adam All right. So what are you asking?

1:07:22 Caller Like, but will the pot have anything to do with it? Is it like...

1:07:25 Adam Well, let me ask my question again. Do you think that you would have felt this way about her whether you were high or not?

1:07:32 Caller Actually, I don't know.

1:07:33 Adam Okay. So she's not really your type. She's not really somebody you'd be attracted to normally.

1:07:38 Caller No. She's completely different from me. Right.

1:07:40 Adam But suddenly, pow, there you are.

1:07:42 Caller Yeah.

1:07:43 Adam Yeah. I believe that can happen. I don't know. I don't know of any objective evidence that that's the case, but it makes sense to me that something like that can happen. That just sort of, I mean, that's at your age, 16, that sort of, that crush or that infatuation is so powerful when it opens up. It makes sense to me if you were in sort of a state where you were vulnerable to that kind of experience. Once you're in it, pow, you can't get out of it. You know what I'm saying?

1:08:06 Drew Yeah.

1:08:06 Adam It becomes obsessional at that age. When somebody is either in or they're out, when they're in, that's it, they're in.

1:08:10 Drew Well, isn't it sort of like, do you ever have a dream about somebody? Yes. Like maybe a sexual dream or just a dream, where the whole focus of the dream is about this person that you don't think you think about that much, and you wake up and you kind of like them, and you're thinking about them.

1:08:25 Adam The next day you relate to them differently if you see them.

1:08:27 Drew Yeah, you see them the next day and you kind of think, well, I know it was a dream, but I still think they might know.

1:08:31 Adam Is that why you behave so differently today when you walked in?

1:08:33 Drew Yeah, I had a dream I raped you by anointing. I should have said something.

1:08:38 Adam I'm so honored.

1:08:40 Drew So Jaime over there.

1:08:41 Adam So either way he's in, you know? It doesn't matter.

1:08:44 Drew He likes her, he likes her, big deal.

1:08:46 Adam I think the fact that he's questioning it is good. I think whenever you get a crush like that at 16, you ought to really look at it carefully, you know? You shouldn't necessarily just go with it.

1:08:53 Drew And don't smoke too much weed.

1:08:55 Adam He's not. Once every three months, he said.

1:08:58 Drew You know our caller said a lot.

1:09:01 Adam I didn't get the vibe. Mandy?

1:09:03 Drew I don't know. It sounded like a burner to me.

1:09:04 Adam 22, no.

1:09:05 Drew Mandy, 22.

1:09:07 Caller Yes.

1:09:07 Drew What's up?

1:09:08 Caller Well, I've been having a problem recently and I have had a child. I do have a little boy. And recently when I've been going to bathroom, I guess when I poop, there's been a lot of blood.

1:09:26 Adam How long ago was the pregnancy?

1:09:28 Caller Oh, my son is almost four.

1:09:30 Adam You were 18. Did you have hemorrhoids during the pregnancy?

1:09:33 Caller No, but I had one afterwards.

1:09:36 Adam All right. So why aren't you... First of all, you need to take some iron tablets, right? And you need to take stool softeners. Make sure the iron doesn't constipate you, make the bleeding worse. And then you need to go see a doctor and have a sigmoidoscopy so they can look in there and see where this bleeding is coming from.

1:09:52 Drew Do you engage in any ass bleeding behavior such as anal sex?

1:09:57 Caller Yes. My husband and I do occasionally.

1:10:01 Drew Oh, good times.

1:10:02 Adam That's going to make this worse. And I would suggest you not do that until you've seen someone about this.

1:10:06 Drew Is he the father of the child?

1:10:08 Caller Of course.

1:10:09 Drew All right, very nice. And have you told him that you have a little bleeding down there?

1:10:17 Caller Yeah, he got a little worried with me one time and it was a couple of days ago he was yelling at me for it. And he said, you know, that's not normal. And I said, well, you know, I'll figure out something.

1:10:29 Drew All right, honey, you dodge your bullet because I'm going to go easy this time.

1:10:33 Caller No, okay.

1:10:35 Adam What do you mean you're going to do something about it?

1:10:38 Caller Well, he's been telling me that I should go to a doctor and go see a doctor, but I wasn't sure if I should go away because it was a hemorrhoid and I had one before.

1:10:48 Adam That's a reasonable thought, however, worst case scenario, this is cancer or inflammatory bowel disease.

1:10:55 Drew What do women get at 22?

1:10:57 Adam Rare. They get hemorrhoids, but it needs to be checked out.

1:11:01 Drew You know, I got my ass checked at the doctor a few months ago. I was telling him about that. And he put that glove on and he said, well, I know you had one of these before and here comes again and I never had one before.

1:11:16 Adam Oh, is that right? But you tried to convince me to do it.

1:11:18 Drew Seemed like he was on a roll, so I didn't want to stop him and get in the nuances about, you know, popping my rectal cherry. So I just let him go at it.

1:11:27 Adam You took it.

1:11:28 Drew Yeah, took it like a man. You want to take a break? Yeah. All right. When we come back, who are we going to talk to?

1:11:33 Adam Chris.

1:11:34 Drew His penis hurts after masturbating, but not always. We'll get to that after this. But not every time.

1:11:44 No, just like, I don't know. Sometimes it happens. It's really random.

1:11:47 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:11:48 Drew Well, maybe it's your grip.

1:11:51 Adam The shaft hurts?

1:11:53 It's more of towards the top.

1:11:54 Adam The tip hurts?

1:11:56 Yeah.

1:11:56 Adam Does it hurt when you pee?

1:11:57 No, that's like the relief.

1:12:02 Adam The pee makes it better?

1:12:03 Yeah, but then it comes back as soon as I'm done.

1:12:05 Adam And is it like an aching at the tip?

1:12:07 Kind of. It's like something's trying to burst out of there.

1:12:11 Adam Does it radiate down towards your groin at all or just stay right at the tip?

1:12:14 Stay right at the tip.

1:12:15 Adam Well, is there any irritation right at the tip, like a little burning at the tip?

1:12:19 No.

1:12:20 Adam Because probably, I mean, that suggests some sort of irritation of the urethra, the tube you're putting stuff out with. And are you sexually active?

1:12:30 Yeah.

1:12:32 Adam So it could be a urethritis. You could have a little infection there.

1:12:35 Okay.

1:12:36 Adam So you might want to just talk to me.

1:12:37 Well, it's been happening as long as I can remember.

1:12:39 Adam So before you were sexually active, you had the male and that's just you. Seeming to kind of irritate the urethra a little bit sometimes.

1:12:45 Drew Well, it doesn't happen every time. How many times out of ten does it happen?

1:12:50 Like 0.5.

1:12:52 Adam So rare.

1:12:52 Yeah.

1:12:53 Adam I wouldn't worry about it.

1:12:55 Caller Yeah.

1:12:55 Adam He probably just irritates the urethra with some soap or whatever he's using.

1:12:58 Drew Small price to pay for beating off. Robert?

1:13:00 Caller Yeah.

1:13:01 Drew You're 14?

1:13:02 Caller Yeah.

1:13:02 Drew What's up?

1:13:04 Caller Well, I'm going out with this girl. She's 18 years old. And she has two kids and I just had sex with her and I don't know what to do.

1:13:13 Caller Oh boy.

1:13:15 Drew She has two kids.

1:13:17 Caller Yeah.

1:13:17 Drew At 18, huh?

1:13:18 Caller Yeah.

1:13:19 Adam Do you want to do your voice read for a second?

1:13:21 Caller Huh?

1:13:23 Caller I'm sorry I couldn't hear that.

1:13:24 Adam I get virgin.

1:13:26 Drew I get virgin too.

1:13:29 Caller 14 years old.

1:13:32 What? Yeah.

1:13:33 Drew Where did you meet her?

1:13:35 Caller I met her at a bowling alley.

1:13:37 Drew How?

1:13:38 Caller I was bowling. It was an Odyssey night bowling. And she was in a, we have it where you share like there's one eye on one side and there's one another on the other side. And you share like that little spot and she was on the other side.

1:13:51 Adam What? She struck up a conversation with you?

1:13:53 Caller Yeah.

1:13:53 Adam And then what happened?

1:13:55 Caller And then it just kind of went on from there. And we became friends and then it.

1:14:00 Adam So you've been seeing her for a little while.

1:14:01 Caller Yeah.

1:14:02 Drew Did you use a condom when you had sex?

1:14:04 Caller No. She said she was on birthing control.

1:14:06 Caller Oh.

1:14:08 Drew Well, she got them two kitties.

1:14:11 Adam At 18.

1:14:12 Drew Now, where's her old man? Out of the picture?

1:14:15 Caller Yeah. I guess they still poked his friends and that's another thing I'm kind of worried about. He's 20 and her dad, she said she had one of the kids when she was really, really young because her dad must have her.

1:14:29 Adam Was it her dad's kid?

1:14:30 Caller Yeah.

1:14:31 Adam Oh.

1:14:31 Caller That's what she said.

1:14:33 Adam Wow. Well, she fits the profile. Yeah.

1:14:37 Drew And by the way, when you have like a three-year-old, we usually don't brag that it's your dad's kid. It's something you'd like to keep under your hat.

1:14:47 Caller Well, she's kind of like really.

1:14:50 Drew A little out there?

1:14:50 Caller Depressed and like.

1:14:53 Adam Hold on.

1:14:54 Drew I'm going to get depressed in a second. Is she raising these kids?

1:14:57 Caller Yeah, she is.

1:14:59 Caller Her mom wanted me to do with her.

1:15:01 Adam Well, you don't want that mom and dad involved with this, do you?

1:15:04 Drew No. Well, shouldn't the dad raise his son with his daughter?

1:15:09 Adam For his abuse farm?

1:15:10 Caller Her dad is in prison.

1:15:12 Adam Good.

1:15:12 Drew Okay. I'll tell you, if I start a band, Abuse Farm is going to be one of my top title choices.

1:15:22 Caller I know you're not going to like this, Adam, but she's in city college.

1:15:25 Drew She's in city college? Fine. That's purgatory. That's city college. Yeah. That's where the damned go to rot. Yeah. Who think they're going to four-year, never end up there. It's purgatory. It's what purgatory is to heaven or hell. That's what city college is. It's a big waiting room. Yeah. She'll leave there when she's in her 40s with no degree. Listen, Robert, you're in way over your 14-year-old head. And I can tell you that this girl has troubles that at age 14, you couldn't even begin to understand. Right. You can hear them. You know.

1:16:02 Adam You kind of feel them.

1:16:03 Drew She's effed up. But you don't even know the... We haven't even scratched the surface of her real problems. And you're going to get caught up in this.

1:16:12 Caller Oh, see, what I'm most worried about is that, see, she's, like I said, she's really depressed. And maybe if I break up with her or...

1:16:19 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't worry.

1:16:22 Caller She might tell my parents or she might hurt herself.

1:16:25 Adam No, Robert, it's great that you're concerned about it.

1:16:27 Drew If she makes any of those threats, you call the cops.

1:16:29 Adam Yeah, absolutely. And if she tells your parents, listen, she's actually guilty of molestation. It's not just the guys that can sexually abuse young people. You understand, a 14-year-old, 8-year-old female.

1:16:42 Drew Yeah.

1:16:42 Adam That's sexual abuse.

1:16:43 Drew Yeah, gotta get out of it.

1:16:45 Adam So what would be her motivation in alerting everybody of the fact that she's committed a crime? Think about that.

1:16:50 Drew And Drew, when you have a kid via your dad, what are the chances that kid comes out normal?

1:16:58 Adam I guess they're okay.

1:16:59 Drew Do we overstate that as a society to try to keep that stuff down?

1:17:05 Adam We certainly make a big deal about it.

1:17:07 Drew Then we make a big deal like if two first cousins get together.

1:17:10 Adam It's not a good idea.

1:17:11 Drew It's going to come out like Anderson or something.

1:17:13 Adam Right. It doesn't mean it's going to happen though. Here's a phone number, 1-800-448-4663, 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-394-HOPE. Give one of these a call and talk about this.

1:17:29 Drew It's just a dumper.

1:17:31 Adam He needs a dumper, but he may need some support through this, you know.

1:17:34 Drew Support? This is a dumper. He's fourteen.

1:17:37 Adam Fourteen. He has this fish on his eye.

1:17:40 Drew You made a rubber fourteen. It's snapped right back into shape. Kevin?

1:17:45 Caller Yes.

1:17:45 Drew You're twenty?

1:17:46 Caller Yes, sir.

1:17:47 Drew What's up?

1:17:48 Best Of CLL #1622 Well, I have a question.

1:17:49 Caller My roommate, he took this substance called Columblo.

1:17:53 Drew Columblo? Yeah, yeah. Jimmy took that too.

1:17:55 Adam What is that?

1:17:57 Drew Yeah, Columblo, right? Yeah.

1:18:00 Adam And he takes it all the time?

1:18:01 Caller No, he took it just once. He just wanted to do it just to clean out his colon.

1:18:05 Best Of CLL #1622 What is it?

1:18:07 Drew It's some kind of husk or something. You take- No.

1:18:10 Adam Yeah, a little bit here.

1:18:11 Drew No, no, no. Yeah, oh yeah. No. Like I said, you're just trying to flatter me, trying to make me feel better. It's too late. You take this thing, and like in the commercial, they tell you, you have a bowel movement that's like six foot long and continuous. And Jimmy took this stuff. It doesn't work. It doesn't do anything.

1:18:29 Caller Okay. Cause I mean-

1:18:30 Adam Well, but if you have a bowel movement six, seven times a day, he needs to see some, that's diarrhea. That's that.

1:18:35 Drew It is?

1:18:36 Adam Or frequent stool.

1:18:37 Drew Well, you just tell him not to use it anymore.

1:18:39 Adam No, he used it once.

1:18:40 Drew Yeah, but has he been having bowel movements six, seven times a day for how long?

1:18:44 Adam Let's ask him.

1:18:46 Drew How long has it been? Ever since he used it.

1:18:48 Adam How long ago was that?

1:18:51 Caller About four months ago?

1:18:52 Adam Four months, Adam.

1:18:55 Drew But what about that answer ever since he used it?

1:18:58 Adam It's a Loveline answer. Classic.

1:19:00 Drew Classic. We're going to write that down, Kevin.

1:19:03 Adam But listen, this is not about the colon blow or whatever the hell that crap is. He needs to, it's diarrhea. Something's going on and he really needs to be seen. I mean, the list is a mile long. We could be causing it.

1:19:16 Drew Michael? Hello? You're 22?

1:19:19 Caller 22.

1:19:19 Drew What's up?

1:19:20 Caller What's up?

1:19:21 Drew What's up?

1:19:22 Caller How you doing?

1:19:24 Drew All righty. I'm going to go back and forth. Let me just talk. Hang on, Michael. We'll get back to you. Sarah?

1:19:30 Caller Yes.

1:19:31 Drew You're 20?

1:19:32 Caller Yes.

1:19:32 Drew What's your question?

1:19:33 Caller Well, let's see here. I'm starting a psychotherapy tomorrow. And what it's about is I got to a car accident about a year ago. And it was a really bad accident, rolled like eight times. Blase, Blase. Well, anyway, because I haven't driven since. And so I get behind the wheel, I get the panic attacks, I look for my bottle of Xanax, the whole thing.

1:19:53 Adam Ooh, how much Xanax are you taking?

1:19:54 Caller No, actually, that was a joke.

1:19:56 Adam Okay.

1:19:56 Caller Yeah, sorry. Kind of a dry sense of humor. So anyway, I start tomorrow for my panic attacks. My physical therapist recommended me because I get treatment for soft tissue damage.

1:20:06 Adam Are you okay now physically?

1:20:07 Caller Yeah, yeah. My neck hurts. I get headaches, but.

1:20:10 Adam Did you have any head trauma?

1:20:11 Caller No, I didn't, actually. The driver did. I was passenger. She just had a concussion.

1:20:15 Drew How did your car roll eight times?

1:20:17 Caller Well, we were on a road trip. I was passenger. We were coming back from New Mexico. I was living in Utah at the time. We were somewhere in Arizona. And truth is, we were smoking pot. And yeah, I know. And well, we just kind of weren't paying attention to the road.

1:20:31 Best Of CLL #1622 And she drove off and she all a check for you.

1:20:34 Drew Let a check drive. Yeah, I know.

1:20:37 Caller I know.

1:20:38 Drew You had to know this was going to happen sooner or later. You got a gal behind the wheel.

1:20:42 Caller Tell me about it.

1:20:43 Drew Of course. She drove off the road and we went to the medium.

1:20:47 Caller She freaked out. She overcorrected. We were going like 80. We spun out on the freeway, like 360, hitting the other side of the road. It caused the car to roll eight times.

1:20:56 Drew What kind of car was it?

1:20:57 Caller Acura Legend. Great car to roll in, to tell you, because we should have died. But we didn't. I mean, I just had soft tissue damage. She had a minor concussion.

1:21:05 Drew Yeah, do you have airbags and stuff?

1:21:07 Caller We did, but they didn't go off, because that has to be like a head-on collision. I actually asked the company why it didn't go off.

1:21:13 Drew Yeah, because you didn't have any bumper contact.

1:21:15 Caller I know. I know there wasn't. It just had to be a head-on collision, I guess, but since the rolling was side movement.

1:21:19 Drew You're just on the roof, on the wheels, on the roof, on the wheels.

1:21:23 Adam They have head-backs now.

1:21:24 Drew Yeah, they got these side curtains and stuff, but didn't have it in this one.

1:21:28 Caller I know.

1:21:28 Drew All right, so good times.

1:21:30 Caller So I had a good time.

1:21:31 Drew Now you're freaked out about driving.

1:21:32 Caller Well, I don't drive. I just don't, and I just moved out here to LA about eight months ago, and I take the bus and it's a pain in the ass, you know.

1:21:38 Adam You don't drive because you're freaked out?

1:21:40 Caller Yeah, I'm absolutely freaked out. But my main question is, I'm starting therapy tomorrow for my panic attacks, but I'm looking at this as an opportunity, because therapy is a wonderful thing, to be able to get some real therapy.

1:21:54 Adam Good, good, good, yeah, yeah.

1:21:55 Caller For some other stuff, you know.

1:21:57 Caller We all had a fun life, and there's a lot of things to talk about. But my dilemma is, this is going to be a lawsuit, there's going to be a settlement out of this. And the doctor's reports will go back to the insurance company.

1:22:10 Drew You guys suing the guy who sold you the dime bag?

1:22:13 Adam So you want to know, can you get?

1:22:15 Caller No, you get into an accident, the reason why we pay insurance is you get a settlement out of it.

1:22:18 Adam So your question is, can you get continued psychotherapy for a specific phobia?

1:22:23 Caller Well, not really. I know I'm going to get treated for my phobia for my driving and then this insurance thing will be over. I'll get my settlement. But the thing is, if I talk to this therapist about my past life and things that have not passed life.

1:22:34 Drew What kind of money are you looking at getting, by the way?

1:22:36 Caller It's just going to be like five, six thousand. Nothing big. It's going to buy me my car because by then I'll be ready to drive.

1:22:42 Drew Oh, that's nothing. If you rolled eight times, it's only like 750 bucks a roll. It's really not that much.

1:22:49 Adam So what?

1:22:50 Caller What it is, is if I walk into this office tomorrow and I say my life's been great and I kind of don't talk about things that have happened and that I've been fine up into this accident, then that's going to help out my case. But if I go in there and we start talking about things that have really happened in my past, then the insurance company is going to see these reports and I'm afraid that they're going to say, well, she was emotionally unstable. The accident was just kind of a trigger to these panic attacks.

1:23:13 Adam You've discussed this with your therapist going in. That doesn't have to be documented. You had that discussion.

1:23:19 Caller That's what I was thinking. I was asking if anybody had to document. That's a discussion.

1:23:23 Drew Well, what did happen?

1:23:24 Caller With your life.

1:23:25 Drew Your past, yeah.

1:23:26 Caller You know, just about everything. No. Parents divorce, you know, a little bit of molestation when I was a kid.

1:23:32 Drew Some drug use.

1:23:34 Caller Just about everything.

1:23:35 Adam Sexual abuse life.

1:23:36 Caller Yeah, your regular dysfunctional life.

1:23:38 Drew We've all had a smattering of sexual abuse. It's usually around the holidays.

1:23:43 Adam But, Sarah, yeah, you...

1:23:45 Caller All right.

1:23:45 Drew Wait a minute. Well, first off, you know, here's the reality. The reality is, they probably have a point. The insurance company does.

1:23:53 Adam Yeah, but I don't see...

1:23:54 Drew You hate to look at it that way. Actually, I don't because I'm an idiot.

1:23:57 Adam They're not going to...

1:23:58 Drew I don't think they're going to do it that way.

1:23:59 Adam No. She wasn't driving. No, she wasn't driving. I mean, what the hell?

1:24:03 Drew She was just hind in the past.

1:24:05 Adam All phobics, all post-traumatic stress reactions are somewhat dependent on your pre-morbid state. The state you're in psychologically moving in. But that doesn't really matter about the fact that you have post-traumatic stress.

1:24:18 Drew They call it pre-morbid state?

1:24:19 Adam Pre-morbid, before this disease started, before this condition started.

1:24:22 Drew Right.

1:24:23 Adam Not pre-death. Pre-morbid mean morbidity of the disease.

1:24:26 Drew Right. But you know, I had a buddy who rolled a car and got in a horrible accident about that age. And he was about 20. Maybe he was 18. He was like in his next car and burning out of the parking lot. You know, the next.

1:24:39 Adam He was a drug addict, though.

1:24:40 Drew No, no, not a drug addict at all. No, just great parents and everything was good with him.

1:24:45 Adam Oh, so he had no PTSD.

1:24:46 Drew No, he had nothing on his plate. Nothing in his dryer to tumble.

1:24:50 Adam That's the point. That if you don't get, if you don't have something going on, you might not get PTSD. So that would preclude them ever treating it.

1:24:57 Drew Yes. I think, I think that PTSD and back injury, it's all the same. You got to have something there before the injury. A little something to get hurt. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:07 Adam I know about the back.

1:25:08 Drew Go to the Shrink and tell them whatever you want to tell them. It will be between the two of you.

1:25:13 Adam Good times.

1:25:14 Drew Good times.

1:25:15 Best Of CLL #1622 Hello, this is your radio. Let's go, GIO!

1:25:47 Drew The time real fast, it's 11.46 straight up. That's 14 minutes away from the top. They are 12 minutes.

1:25:55 Best Of CLL #1622 Right back there in the middle. Let's check some 10s.

1:25:59 Drew Lankester, Palmdale's checking in. 55, Burbank's coming in at 55. Locke, Indiana, Flintridge. Jerry's coming in at a cool 49. Glendale, 65 degrees, 65 right. Joe Cooper and C-063, 50 in Pasadena, 55 El Cajon, coming in at 28 degrees, and it's freezing in Eagle Rock, let's hop in the Vos, and the people are gonna make the show go round. Are you ready? Hot, hot, hot, ready to rock and roll here. Let's hop in the Vos.

1:26:22 Adam How's the traffic?

1:26:24 Drew Traffic, we got a little slow and go in the 405 in there. There's a single-air on the 110s over there, and a motorcycle down in the left lane on 101, so that's gonna back you up all the way up to the 110. Again.

1:26:33 Adam Heard they're just out of lanes.

1:26:35 Drew Just out of lanes. San Fernando coming in 55 degrees. Chatsworth coming in at 63. San Bernardino 65 degrees. Studio City, a cool 52. New Hall, Saugus area, checking in at 55. And it's 50 even at the local leg. Check time, real fast, 1147 and 25 seconds. That's 12 minutes and 35 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up. Courtney's on line one, 15's got a problem. Courtney calling from Bel Air on line one. On line one, Courtney from Bel Air, line one. Courtney. Hi. Hey, you're 50. What's going on there, toots?

1:27:08 Adam What's up?

1:27:08 Drew Thanks for calling the show. Pretty jumping up. It's happening to the hip. OK. I'm going to check in to some of those temperatures later. We got a traffic report coming up, too. What's going on there? Check the time coming up, too. What's going on?

1:27:19 Um, hi.

1:27:21 Caller Um, yeah.

1:27:22 Drew Yeah. All right, hold on a second. Let's check the time. It's 1147, 1148 straight up. 12 minutes away from the top of the hour. Lancaster, Ponddale area. Checking in 52 degrees. Let's get back to the phone. Time to Corny. Corny? Hi. Age 15. What's on? Line one. Line one. Hi. What's going on there?

1:27:42 Caller Well, wow. Okay.

1:27:43 Drew Uh-huh.

1:27:44 Caller Um, yeah. Um, I've been in, like, lots of relationships. And as soon as I get out of a relationship, I always get in another one. And I'm, like, never seen.

1:27:54 Drew Kenoka Park. Checking in 52. Eagle Rock area. Checking in 55. Chris 55. Stay tuned for a traffic check. I'm going to go out and take a look at the time coming up there. To who? Yeah, Courtney? Uh, yeah.

1:28:04 Adam So, you always are in a relationship. You can't be alone.

1:28:07 Drew I can't be alone.

1:28:09 Adam You need to be alone.

1:28:10 Drew I just made her alone. Let's check the time real fast. 11 48 and 45 seconds. That's 11 minutes and 15 seconds away from the top of the hour. Straight up.

1:28:19 Best Of CLL #1622 Back down in the middle of the line around.

1:28:20 Drew I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:28:21 Adam It's a good ol day.

1:28:21 Best Of CLL #1622 I'm proud of Dr. Drew.

1:28:22 Drew Check some time, some weather, and some traffic coming up.

1:28:24 Adam It's real common for people to be at difficult to be along, especially at that age.

1:28:26 Drew Let's hop on the phones and talk to Matt. Matt is 18. Matt's on line five calling in from Cora Hill. Cora Hill's checking in at 49 degrees by the way.

1:28:35 Adam 18 years old. Matt, let's check the time.

1:28:39 Drew 11 49 and 10 seconds. That is 10 minutes and 50 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up in Ace Rockolla. So Matt.

1:28:46 Adam She needs to do what she can to spend a little time alone.

1:28:49 Caller Yeah, I just had a question.

1:28:50 Drew What's wrong? Encino's checking in at 55 degrees.

1:28:53 Caller Our first flight was awesome.

1:28:54 Drew Yeah, thank you, man.

1:28:56 Caller I just want to know.

1:28:57 Drew Slow and go on the 405. That's going to go all the way out to the airport. A lot of you going out the airport. Might want to get off at La Tierra. Take that.

1:29:05 Adam Go ahead. See a lot of brake lights out there?

1:29:06 Drew A lot of brake lights. Slow and go out there. Slow and go. Go ahead.

1:29:10 Caller All right, there's times when I have sex with my girlfriend.

1:29:12 Caller I have sex with her and we're going like this.

1:29:15 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:29:16 Caller And our coffee. I hear that, brother.

1:29:18 Drew Hold on. A little too much information, buddy. Let's check time real fast. 1149 and 55 seconds straight up. That is five seconds and 10 minutes away. At the top of the hour, straight up, the way down. Matt, you need to keep your girlfriend. What's going on there, buddy?

1:29:34 Caller Yeah. So there's times when I will ejaculate and I will have, you know, are calm and-

1:29:38 Drew Whoa, a little more information I need to hear. Yeah.

1:29:41 Adam All right.

1:29:41 Caller And there's times when I won't. I just don't know what that is.

1:29:43 Drew Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.

1:29:45 Adam You do medication?

1:29:47 Caller Yeah, I take medication.

1:29:48 Drew What are you on there, buddy?

1:29:49 I take Zoloft and Calipress.

1:29:51 Drew Well, that'll do it.

1:29:52 Adam You have ADD or something?

1:29:54 Caller Yeah.

1:29:55 Adam The Zoloft will definitely give you trouble like that.

1:29:57 Drew Let me tell you something.

1:29:58 Adam That's what's happened.

1:29:58 Drew I was on Zoloft for a while after me, my second wife broke up. And I'll tell you right now, I was like filling my nuts with sawdust. It dried that thing right up.

1:30:05 Adam Really?

1:30:05 Drew Gobi Desert in that.

1:30:06 Adam So you wouldn't have any time where you nutted.

1:30:08 Drew I jacked off a cactus, came out of it. Seriously, Lancaster, Palmdale, I would check it in 52 degrees, Brighton coming in at 48 degrees, and Lackignana, Flintridge area coming in at a warm 61 degrees, 55 Rancho Cooke, Among Us coming in 51 and Sino 52, Pasadena is coming in 55 degrees and 53 at El Cajon.

1:30:31 Adam Ace, I got to make a long ride home. How's it going to be?

1:30:33 Drew Where are you going? You take the 110, slow and go, motorcycle down. Watch out for brake lights. Watch out for brake lights. That's the thing behind the car.

1:30:40 Adam Caltrans might be out there.

1:30:41 Drew Caltrans out there. Give him a break. Let's go. We'll check the time in a second. Yeah, check that. It's 11 51 and 20 seconds. That's eight minutes and 40 seconds away from the top of the hour. Hop back to the phones. Line one. Speak to Jim is on line one. Calling West of the Rockies. Calling from Phoenix line one.

1:30:57 Adam Line one. West of the Rockies?

1:30:59 Drew National show. National show. Line one. Line one. Calling from Phoenix. We do a national show. He's calling from Phoenix. Go ahead, Jim.

1:31:05 Best Of CLL #1622 Hello, I have a problem.

1:31:07 Drew What are we on out there? KDAY out there? Yeah, they got themselves 55,000 watt flamethrower out there. I'll tell you what.

1:31:13 Best Of CLL #1622 Go ahead there.

1:31:15 Caller I'm 17 and last night I guess I had sex with my girlfriend.

1:31:19 Drew You broke yourself off a piece. Yeah, good times there, buddy. High five.

1:31:23 Caller Yeah, I'm a virgin.

1:31:24 Drew Slow and go on the 405, by the way.

1:31:27 Caller I have a question. I had sex with her, but I didn't actually have an orgasm.

1:31:32 Drew No orgasm. Eagle Rock, checking in 55.

1:31:35 Caller Did you guys consider like, you know, I...

1:31:39 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. A little young for the F word, wouldn't you say? That's a good enough time to check some of the temperatures going on around South End, San Fernando, checking in on 55, San Gabriel, checking in on 52, Chatsworth, checking in on 53, 55, San Bernardino, studio city in my hometown, coming in 60 degrees, 61 degrees, New Hall Sox, Tulik Lake, checking in on 52 degrees, slow and go on the 405, we got a signal alert on the 110, we got a motorcycle down in traffic lanes, look out for brake lights there on the 110.

1:32:06 Adam Ace, did you fart again?

1:32:11 Drew No, I didn't fart there. I don't know where that's coming from. I may have just moved and released in some of the upholstery because I'm in my pants or in the seat of mine. Let's hop back on the phones, Drew, let's see if we can do it. Dr. Drew, hot, hot, hot. Hot, hot, hot. Let's check the phones real fast. It's 1152, 1153, straight up seven minutes away from the top of the hour. The budget is a good pie over there, Dr. Drew. You don't want to speak to Joey over there? Who do you want to talk to? Let's, I'll tell you what, let's go to line five. We'll speak to Chloe.

1:32:42 Adam Put that on hold there, guys.

1:32:43 Drew Chloe's calling from Oregon. Oregon, 18, Oregon, line five, national show Oregon. Go ahead, Chloe, calling from Oregon?

1:32:51 Caller Yeah, I have a problem. I'm addicted to sex.

1:32:55 Drew Yeah, what are we on, KPSD out there? They got something, 55, I'm on a flame, Thar's playing all the hits all the time. I'm addicted to sex. Hey, when's the next flight going to Oregon?

1:33:10 Best Of CLL #1622 I'd like to get in on some of that.

1:33:12 Adam Twinkie Hole, baby.

1:33:15 Drew What are you looking at, baby?

1:33:16 Best Of CLL #1622 What?

1:33:17 Drew How many guys are you looking at?

1:33:18 Best Of CLL #1622 What? How many guys are you looking at? A lot.

1:33:23 Drew Put it this way, when's the last time you looked at it?

1:33:27 Adam I'm going to give you a number real quick before you're pulling.

1:33:29 Drew I'm going to give you guys a number. The 405 still slow and go, a lot of brake lights. You might want to use the LaTierre exit over there.

1:33:35 Adam You in Portland?

1:33:35 Drew Single-A-Lert on the 110, a motorcycle down left lane 101, and a truck carrying a load of used tires is capsized over on the five. So you're going to want to avoid that. Try to use the Dodger Stadium Exchange. 1154 in 20 seconds right now. That is 40 seconds, five minutes away from the top of the hour straight up. Dr. Drew, is that right?

1:33:56 Adam Yeah, I've got a 503, 257, 2558.

1:34:00 Drew What freeway is that and what temperature?

1:34:03 Adam Yeah, looks like it's probably the closest thing we're going to get for you.

1:34:05 Drew Chloe, you're addicted to sex, are you? Yeah.

1:34:07 Adam Look in the SA. SA.? SA numbers for you, yeah. You can call AA locally if you want and they would refer you over to any SA meetings locally.

1:34:16 Drew All right, Chloe. Okay.

1:34:18 Adam You do need to go to some meetings.

1:34:19 Drew Chloe, call them from Oregon National Radio, Radio National, Oregon, line five.

1:34:24 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a break. Here's a good number for 800-234-0420. 800-234-0420.

1:34:32 Drew All right, we're going to take a break. We'll come back with a quick weather update and then checking the traffic and we'll take check in the time after this. Well, there it is.

1:34:45 Adam Peony, your favorite kind of show, though, No One Here.

1:34:48 Caller Yep.

1:34:48 Adam No guess.

1:34:49 Drew We will take ourselves a little extended dance break here, and until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:34:57 Best Of CLL #1622 This has been Loveline.

1:35:06 Caller The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle.

1:35:09 Best Of CLL #1622 Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, December 24, 2001