Episode 1000754886854

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew. This is the best of Loveline. We're gone somewhere for the holiday season. Drew is farting his ass off in the studio.

1:27 Drew Just for you, Adam.

1:28 Adam Oh, buddy.

1:29 Drew It could be worse because we could be spending three hours here or something.

1:31 Adam It could be worse. We could be here.

1:33 Drew That's right.

1:33 Adam I could be in the studio smelling your fart.

1:35 Drew That's right.

1:36 Adam No, wait a minute. I am. All right. Who's first up tonight in this?

1:40 Drew Deftones.

1:41 Adam And who's with the Deftones?

1:44 Drew Very nice. Then Third Eye Blind coming up.

1:46 Adam And actually Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye Blind.

1:50 Drew Oh, I found out my wife has an insane crush on them. I had to tolerate that.

1:54 Adam And you could, you're all right with that?

1:56 Drew Yeah, I can put up with that.

1:57 Adam But she wouldn't put up with it if you said you had a crush on...

2:01 Drew She wouldn't put up with it when Tyra Banks sits across the counter from me.

2:05 Adam You should point that out.

2:06 Drew I have pointed that out.

2:07 Adam Point out the hypocrisy in your relationship to her, please.

2:11 Drew And, you know... Okay, enough.

2:15 Adam Steph is here from the Deftones as well as Be Real from Cypress Hill. Joe.

2:23 How you doing, man?

2:24 Adam Good, you're 29. What's up?

2:25 Caller 29. I listen to your show a lot. I like both of you guys quite a bit. I have true respect for your fortitude. You talk to a lot of idiots. Thank you. The thing I want to talk about is I am totally marijuana dedicated, but I'm 29. I own my own business. I got really nice insurance and I want to stop, but I want to talk to my doctor about it. How do I talk to my doctor about, because I'm pretty sure I'm on the marijuana maintenance plan.

2:55 Drew Yeah. You know what you need to do? You need to ask your doctor for a referral. You're on HMO though. That's what somebody told me. Is that right?

3:03 Caller I bought really nice insurance.

3:05 Drew HMO doesn't imply necessarily really nice. But be that as it may, you need to talk to someone who has an addiction medicine certification. Your doctor probably will not understand exactly what's needed to take care of this problem if you really are serious.

3:19 Caller I do an osteopath. Do you think that might be?

3:21 Drew No. You need to talk to an addictionologist because it's a tricky problem. It's not something that, if people really haven't dealt with it, been through it with people, no way they can advise you on how to deal with this. You need to talk to a psychiatrist who has addiction medicine certification. I missed the problem.

3:38 Adam He's smoking and wants to quit.

3:39 Drew He smokes too much body and wants to stop.

3:41 Caller Okay, I listen to you guys and I listen to you a lot.

3:44 He wants to stop.

3:45 Caller I just want to have you guys talk to these people who are complete fools.

3:49 Hey, I'm 31.

3:50 I'm 31. I get high every day. I'm not a fool. And what's that, Joe? It's all right.

3:54 Caller I listen to these people and I go, at least I'm not them. And as I light my fifth joint for the day.

3:59 Hey, I do more than that. You'll be all right.

4:01 Adam Yeah, but he's not in a band.

4:02 Drew He's trying to run a business. He makes the day.

4:05 Caller Like, I got to remember to do things.

4:07 Drew Here's the two.

4:07 Caller Write them down.

4:08 Drew The two most, most.

4:10 Caller Writing them down is a great way to get things done.

4:12 Adam Hey, I just thought of a good idea. Scratch pad on the bong. Like one of those Mark Solant Magic Erase boards on the bong.

4:17 Caller Or you could do like that Memento guy just tattooing himself.

4:20 Caller Yeah. Well, you know, hey, look, it's, it's...

4:23 Caller Go to work in the morning.

4:24 Caller It's no doubt that it's for some and sometimes it ain't, it ain't for everybody. If it's not for him, then, you know, well, so be it.

4:34 Adam Sometimes it's for some for a while too, and then it's not for them anymore.

4:39 Drew That's usually what happens, it stops working. And that's when people start to smoke more pot in the acceleration in terms of the feelings of depression, anxiety and sleep problems and not being able to find your car keys. I'm sure that's a big one, Joe.

4:50 Caller Oh yeah, or forgetting your appointments. Or, dude, I have grandiose dreams for my business. If I could...

4:56 Drew You can't do them. Yeah, you can't do them.

4:57 Caller Like, I have these great ideas, I write them down, I look at them and the next day I'm like, oh my god, I must have been high. Or I make business deals when I am high.

5:04 Caller Baby steps, you gotta do everything bit by bit. You can't have it all tomorrow.

5:07 Drew And what happens in those deals?

5:09 Caller Like, you know...

5:10 Caller Oh, like, sometimes I just kind of underbid myself.

5:13 Drew Yeah, stay focused.

5:14 Caller And then I go through the deal and I get to the end, I'm like, oh my god, this is how much money I made, I must have been high.

5:19 Caller Yeah, you gotta stay more focused.

5:21 Caller Most likely I was high.

5:23 Caller Yeah, don't blame the weed, don't blame the weed.

5:24 Adam No, the weed's good, don't go to bed.

5:26 Caller Everybody functions different off of it, you know.

5:29 Adam No, so I know guys who smoke weed all day, and they go to work and they're fine.

5:33 Drew And everyone's fine for a while. And then how long that while is is one year for some, thirty years for others.

5:40 Caller But you have to mean, if you weren't high all the time, there'd be times of real quality production and then there'd be times of laziness. It would be there anyway.

5:50 Drew So Joe, the problem is that the first six months of abstinence after you've been on a maintenance program, there is a period of very high risk for actually suicide, believe it or not. The biology of recovery of the brain during that time makes people very, very depressed.

6:04 Adam Alright, so talk to the specialist.

6:06 Drew And the staying stop part, the staying stop part, man, I've been in it for a very long time. Is extremely difficult.

6:11 Caller He needs to join the Cush school and we'll, you know, fix that problem right quick. We'll go rehabilitate him.

6:18 Adam You'll have him on brownies. Hey, you're not smoking weed anymore.

6:21 Caller Shut up. Smoking.

6:22 Adam Joe?

6:23 Yeah.

6:24 Adam You're 21?

6:25 Caller That is correct.

6:26 Adam What is up?

6:28 Caller Alright, probably about a month ago, I ordered a Dr. Bross' Miracle Penis Pump, one of those type of deals.

6:35 Adam Sure.

6:36 Drew It was a good time.

6:37 Caller Yeah, it was about my, probably my second one that I bought, but this one I kind of took, like, oh my god.

6:42 Drew This is something I never, wait, hold on a second, Joe, this is something I never contemplated.

6:46 Adam The penis pump?

6:47 Drew No, the second penis pump. What happened to the first one?

6:52 Caller I just kind of lost interest with it, you know, how it was.

6:55 Drew And what, this one was a little more colorful or something, you liked the design on it?

6:59 Caller It was a lot cheaper, the feel was better, it had like a hydraulic pump.

7:03 Drew But didn't you sort of convince yourself on the first one that it wasn't going to do anything to you? Or is this for pleasure? Is this for?

7:08 Adam Maybe I outgrew the first one.

7:10 Caller It actually does work, despite whatever you guys think.

7:14 Adam It does?

7:15 Drew What does it do?

7:16 Caller Well, what it does is, you know, it's not like it's causing an erection. What it's doing is it's taking blood there and it's kind of stretching it out. And it's almost like, you know, how it works out when you lift weights, how the muscle repairs itself. It's not a muscle, but still.

7:30 Drew Yeah, it's not a muscle, so it has nothing to do with this.

7:32 Adam But still.

7:33 Caller The skin has to adapt to the new pressure that's been put on it.

7:38 Adam That's right.

7:38 Drew So you get skin hanging off, the skin hanging off the tip of the penis.

7:42 Adam This is like giving your colon a workout by eating a lot of meatloaf. I mean, isn't it? I mean, using the same logic. I'm really packing a lot of tough food down there, hard to digest. I'm really giving that muscle good workout, so I'm going to have a super colon.

7:55 Drew And that is more logic because there is muscle on the colon.

7:59 Caller There's no muscle in the penis.

8:00 Adam Are you saying I got a plan? Dr. Corolla's meatloaf.

8:04 Caller I don't know what kind of plan, but...

8:08 Adam Hey, Joe?

8:09 Caller Yeah.

8:10 Adam So, let me ask you. You used a penis pump, and you say it's not like an erection, but when you remove it, do you have an erection?

8:17 Caller It's not an erection, but, you know, like, you know, this thing will hang down past your kneecaps. It's totally stretched out. It's engulfed with blood, but it's not hard. So, I mean, theoretically, if you could walk around with this thing all day, you wouldn't have any, you know, self-doubt with yourself. I mean, you'd be flying pretty high as far as the pride factor is concerned.

8:38 Adam Well, wait a second, wait a second. If your penis is engulfed with blood, don't you, by definition, have an erection?

8:44 Drew By definition.

8:45 Caller No, but it's not...

8:46 Adam Or engorged, as he wanted to say.

8:48 Caller Go ahead, Joe.

8:49 Caller It's like, it's like if you were swollen, like if you, you know, you sprained your ankle and the swelling, you know, consisted from, you know, the damage that you've done to the tendons and stuff.

8:58 Caller Yeah. You got, you got...

9:00 Drew Again, except there's no tendons on the penis.

9:02 Adam You have wonderful, yet lame angles on all these answers, Joe. If your penis is filled with blood, then you have an erection.

9:11 Caller All right.

9:12 Drew Don't.

9:13 Caller The problem is...

9:13 Drew How many times have I told you that I'm not to talk to the college?

9:16 Adam Joe, how, how has this helped you in your personal life?

9:19 Caller Well, that's...

9:20 Drew No, let's go beyond the... How about the spiritual life?

9:22 Adam Okay.

9:23 Caller The question that I have is what, you know... Now, granted, it's made it better, but it's a problem because it's not supposed to do it. What it's doing is it's causing... It's almost having the effect of like a tourniquet, I think, because I get these like mushroom things and it'll be like the thickness of a Coke can. We're talking about seven inches around.

9:42 Drew Where?

9:42 Caller What it'll swell to about around the head of my penis.

9:45 Caller It's a damn lie and you know it!

9:48 Drew You mean the... You don't mean the head of the penis swells that big but there's some tissue just beneath it.

9:53 Caller Yeah, the tissue that's underneath the head is actually...

9:56 Drew Yeah, so that's the bruise you're talking about, the swelling. Right.

10:01 Caller But what's happened now is it's like I have my penis is almost constantly purple but I still have the same level of sensitivity. I can still get erections, I can still ejaculate, everything is normal but...

10:13 Drew You know, counter blessings.

10:14 Adam Hey Joe, who are you having sex with?

10:18 Caller My wife.

10:19 Adam Really?

10:20 Caller Yes.

10:20 Adam Somebody married you? I can't believe that. You guys aren't going to have kids, are you?

10:25 Caller Oh, we already have one. Yeah, she's the prettiest girl in the world.

10:31 Caller Why are you acting stupid like that?

10:32 Adam Is she going to be a dynamite lady?

10:35 Caller He's having too much sex with the penis pump.

10:37 Adam Oh my god.

10:38 Drew Well, Joe, does your wife complain that she needs you to have a larger penis?

10:43 Caller No, that's not the problem.

10:44 Drew All right. So what are you worrying about? What are you doing? Wasting your time with that pump?

10:47 Caller It's, you know, I'm in the weight lifting and the bigger I get, the smaller my penis gets. Do you understand that proportion-wise?

10:54 Adam Right, right. But hey, Joe, seriously, do you have any psychiatric problems?

11:00 Caller No.

11:01 Adam Okay. All right. You listen. Here's what you need to do. Spend less time on your penis and more time on your daughter.

11:07 Drew Yes, thank you. By the way, let's get together. Give me the diagram. I want to show you how the penis works anatomically.

11:15 Adam Don't... aren't retarded people sort of obsessed with their genitalia? Yeah. When you talk to adult guys like Joe over here, don't you get the feeling that there's a little retardism in his voice?

11:28 Drew There's something.

11:29 Adam I mean, that he has a complete preoccupation with his penis?

11:33 Drew I normally think of that as psychiatric pathology, but...

11:35 Adam All right.

11:35 Drew Or character pathology.

11:37 Adam All right.

11:37 Drew No, no, wait, no. I'll give you a penis.

11:38 Adam Steph, you ever try one of those penis pumps?

11:40 Drew Not yet.

11:41 Adam It sounds tempting, though. Here we go. The real way to get size out of those is to leave them on.

11:46 Drew Here's what...

11:47 Adam That's my angle. I just paint it beige and leave it there.

11:49 Drew Here's what it's saying, basically.

11:50 Caller Hard rock, baby.

11:51 Drew You see this part here? This is the part that gives you the erection. This thing swells up.

11:55 Adam Drew is... we're looking at an anatomical drawing of the penis. Right? Those are the caverns on each side.

12:02 Drew Those, he's saying, don't swell up after he's had... he's saying right here.

12:06 Adam The skin?

12:07 Drew The soft tissue between the caverns of his body and the skin swells up.

12:11 Caller It's not good.

12:12 Drew What the hell does that do for you?

12:13 Adam I have no idea.

12:14 Drew It's a giant bruise. Your penis is a giant bruise.

12:16 Caller Forget about it.

12:18 Caller I don't want to break it.

12:19 Adam Listen, you know what we do? Retards call this show and we argue with them all night. You're a doctor, Drew. This guy's got fifth grade education and he's really almost retarded and we have these arguments with them all night.

12:32 Drew Do you understand what that is?

12:34 Adam What has your life become? That's right.

12:35 Drew No, what has my life become? What the hell is the matter with me?

12:37 Adam That's just a follow up question. Sam? What's up?

12:42 Caller Okay, I'm 17 and about one was sexually abused. My older cousin actually sexually abused me.

12:52 Drew Well, we missed all that.

12:53 Adam Somebody sexually abused you?

12:54 Caller My older cousin.

12:55 Adam Older cousin?

12:57 Caller Wow.

12:57 Adam Where are you from? What's your nationality?

12:59 Caller I'm Chinese.

13:00 Adam Okay. So your older cousin sexually abused you. How old was he when you were seven?

13:06 Caller Two years old.

13:07 Drew Nine or 10.

13:08 Okay.

13:09 Drew All right.

13:10 What's the question?

13:11 Caller I haven't spoke to him since, but the last time I spoke to one of my relatives, and something about his being gay or something.

13:18 Drew All right. What's your question, Sam?

13:21 Caller Okay. After that, nothing happened to me. About three years later, I started to masturbate to orgasm, and I had the problem ever since, but I tried to stop.

13:33 Drew Your problem is that you masturbate until orgasm?

13:35 Caller Yeah.

13:35 Drew That's a problem.

13:36 Caller Yeah.

13:37 Adam That's a goal.

13:37 Caller No, I mean, it's like three or four times a week. That's a problem.

13:43 Drew Why is that?

13:44 Adam That's a little light.

13:45 Caller That's what he's saying.

13:46 Drew That's nowhere near Adam's usual pace.

13:48 Adam When I was 17, I had that by noon on Monday.

13:52 Understand?

13:54 Caller That's his brunch.

13:55 Caller Yeah. Does that do any real damage to you, like, physical-wise?

13:59 Adam Jesus, I hope not.

14:01 Drew Masturbating a little bit?

14:04 Adam Yeah, you're fine. Three days a week, you're all right.

14:07 Drew That's nothing, Sam.

14:08 Caller Okay, does that do any permanent damage to you?

14:11 Drew What?

14:12 Caller Will it do any permanent damage to you? Like, I mean, not speaking out.

14:15 Adam I pulled a calf muscle once, and I don't think it's been right since the 11th grade. I really mean, I walk with a little limp.

14:22 Drew Sam, I want you to be very clear. This cannot hurt you. Not only cannot not hurt you, you're actually doing it less than many of your peers. Okay. Do you understand that?

14:31 Adam Not your Chinese peers, but your other peers at school, like, you know.

14:38 Drew So hang on a second, Sam, listen to this. Adam, seriously, when you were 17, how many times a week, seriously, conservative?

14:43 Adam I can't really even calculate the week because, see, here's how I could figure the week out. If there were 10 days in a week, it'd be easy. It'd be like, okay, eight times 10, 80 times a week, but the seven screws me up, you know?

14:56 Drew Just give me a number.

14:57 Adam Because I'm at like, and plus I don't go in whole numbers because I average like 6.7 times a day, times seven, and I don't even, what's that, 190? I don't even know what that was.

15:06 Drew For Sam, for Sam. Oh, for Sam?

15:08 Adam 45, 50?

15:09 Drew 45 times a week, Sam, was Adam's pace.

15:12 Adam That was Deftones during the school year. During the summer, I'd step it up about 25%. You know, days were longer.

15:18 Drew You think he's kidding, he isn't.

15:21 Adam Sam, you're fine.

15:22 Caller The mind is a terrible thing.

15:24 Caller I know, yeah. Okay, my general question is, if I... I don't know if I should keep this up, but like, for example, 10 years from now, will I have any problem with kids and anything like that?

15:37 Adam No.

15:37 Drew Sam, how many different ways do we have to tell you this is normal?

15:41 Caller Alright.

15:42 Adam You're going good, buddy.

15:43 Caller Alright, thanks.

15:44 Drew Relax.

15:44 Adam You're doing good. Alright, so take care of yourself. What a problem with kids.

15:50 Drew Well, his chi will have been sort of depleted, see?

15:53 Adam Yeah, what happened to all the semen?

15:55 Drew All the chi is gone.

15:56 Adam Well, wait a minute. Sam is Chinese, so he's got some of that chi.

15:59 Drew That's the point.

16:00 Adam Right? Yeah. Yeah.

16:01 Drew That chi thinking.

16:02 Adam Yeah, that can't be true. If that is true, that your semen is sort of your energizing chi that drives you. I've been walking around at about 40% for my entire life.

16:14 Drew You're like inside out.

16:15 Adam Yeah.

16:16 Drew You're sucking things from the world.

16:18 Adam I should be like 300 pounds, 7'8, and be able to dunk one of those mini fridges with just one hand. Now I can barely drive an automatic.

16:30 Jack?

16:32 Adam That's right. I got to find my chi. Jack, you're 18.

16:36 Caller Jack?

16:37 Jack.

16:38 Adam Alright. Let's put Jack on hold. Steph is here from the Deftones and Be Real from Cypress Hill, of course. Ronnie?

16:47 Caller Hey, what's up?

16:48 Adam, Drew, you guys rock.

16:50 Adam What's happening?

16:50 Caller What's up?

16:51 Be Real.

16:51 Caller What's happening?

16:53 Caller Hey, Steph and the dude.

16:54 You guys are my favorite band ever. Thank you, man. I kind of had two questions. I heard like you guys were going to come out with like a home video or something.

17:03 Caller One day. We've got many plans for many things, but we're pretty slow.

17:08 Oh, really? And are you guys coming to Portland anytime soon?

17:13 Caller I'm not sure. Maybe at the end of the month, but nothing's in stone right now.

17:18 Adam You got a website or something that people can look you up on and find out where you're going to be touring?

17:24 Caller Yeah, we can go to deftones.com and it's updated semi-regular. It's not like always up to date, but it's pretty good.

17:33 Adam Hey Ronnie.

17:34 Yeah.

17:34 Adam The band has a fairly laid-back approach to their career, but I appreciate that. I doubt they're pimping bumper stickers and whatnot. Ronnie, you okay?

17:44 Yeah.

17:45 Adam You good?

17:45 Yeah.

17:46 Adam Alright, buddy.

17:46 Alright.

17:47 Adam Take care of yourself. Let's talk to Lauren who's on line six. Lauren, you're 18. What's up?

17:53 Caller Yeah, my boyfriend has a rash on his testicles and it's kind of moving up towards like the top of his penis and it's kind of like a...

18:01 Caller Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

18:05 Caller Well, it's kind of like a dry scanner, like a blister, but it's just spreading pretty fast.

18:11 Caller Be concerned.

18:12 Caller I was wondering if I need to be worried about... I've been with him for a long time, so...

18:17 Drew Can you e-mail us a picture?

18:18 Adam No, Drew. Drew had this great plan where folks were going to e-mail their skin conditions to us, and I saw these infected penises.

18:28 Drew Because people cannot describe skin conditions. I can't get the info I need.

18:32 Adam Well, he says...

18:33 Caller It's like dry, flaky skin.

18:35 Drew It could be eczema, it could be fungus, it could be...

18:38 Adam Well, she said there were some blisters on it too, right? Drew, do you want to see a picture of an infected sack?

18:44 Caller It's not like... It's just dry, like dry skin and it's just spreading and...

18:48 Drew I don't know what it is.

18:48 Adam Oh, well, maybe it's got just some heat rash.

18:51 Drew What the hell does that mean?

18:52 Adam Well, he...

18:53 Drew Listen... It's like ridiculous.

18:54 Adam Okay, but let me explain something. During the summer, guys work up a little heat down there.

19:00 Drew Fungus.

19:01 Adam It flares up. It's like athlete's balls, right?

19:04 Drew Fungus, yeah.

19:05 Adam Why don't they call Jockich athlete's balls?

19:09 Drew Athlete's nuts.

19:10 Adam Because they got athlete's feet, right?

19:12 Drew Athlete's nuts.

19:13 Adam Yeah, why not? No, because that implies that they're crazy.

19:16 Drew Oh, athlete's testes? Athlete's scrotum.

19:18 Caller Athlete's sac.

19:20 Drew Athlete's sac.

19:20 Caller When you hear Jockich, you know what Jockich means. I mean, athletes are scratching balls all day.

19:25 Yeah.

19:26 Adam So maybe that's what he's got.

19:29 Drew A little Lamisil or Lootramint over the counter. And if that doesn't clear it up, peel it up, he's got to see someone.

19:36 Okay.

19:36 Adam All right.

19:37 Thanks a lot.

19:37 Caller Don't touch it.

19:38 Adam Good times. Good times. Listen, you've got to let your balls breathe. You've got to let everything down there breathe.

19:44 Caller You've got to air it out, man. Come on.

19:46 Adam Yeah. And wear baggy shorts and no underpants. And what I do once in a while, I have a shop vac at my house, you know, one of the big wet dry shop vac. And I know suction is no good for the sack. But if you take the hose and flop it around to the outlet side, you can blow like 700 CFM worth of air in there.

20:07 Drew Handheld dryer. And now you've got a theme song when you enter a restaurant. This would be quite a sight if you...

20:13 Adam You guys want to hear my new theme song?

20:15 Caller Sure.

20:17 Adam Here it is. This is a song I play when I'm blow drying my balls every night. It's catchy, huh? People would hear it and know I was coming, you know? And it makes it seem like you're drunk.

20:36 Caller It is kind of drunk.

20:37 Adam Yeah, it's not really... Why is there a difference between high music and drunk music? This is drunk music. What's it? High music has got to have like a reggae riff to it?

20:47 Caller No.

20:50 Adam Every music... All music you hear is high music, be real.

20:53 Caller Pretty much.

20:56 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves...

20:58 Caller There you go. Hey, hey!

21:02 Adam Steph is here, so let's be real. Alright, we'll take a break. We'll be back. Hey, y'all, Love Line, best of Love Line. Thanks, Drew. I'm Adam. That's my partner, and sometimes lover, Dr. Drew. Sometimes. Now, I would like to welcome to the fabulous program from Third Eye Blind, Stephen Jenkins. Stephen Jenkins is here tonight from Third Eye Blind. Wow.

21:36 Caller Thank you.

21:38 Adam Working on the new CD. When is the new CD? When do you think it'll come out?

21:42 Caller I think we'll put it out in June.

21:43 Adam All right.

21:44 Caller Yeah.

21:44 Caller I've been building a studio in San Francisco. I finally built my own place.

21:47 Caller Oh, that's nice.

21:48 Caller Yeah, it's cool.

21:50 Adam Is it at your house?

21:51 Caller No, it's downtown.

21:54 Adam You actually bought a space and built it?

21:57 Caller Yeah. We actually got the board that the Rolling Stones recorded part of Beggar's Banquet on.

22:03 Adam Wow.

22:03 Caller It's going to be really cool.

22:04 Adam Now, do these boards, would that board go for more than another board?

22:08 Caller It's worth a lot more because Mick Jagger touched it.

22:11 Adam Is it? Really?

22:12 Caller Yeah.

22:13 Caller He's in town. Hey, you Mick.

22:17 Adam Yeah, because I wonder, I mean, it would kind of make sense that if, well, you recorded Sergeant Peppers on this board or something, that it would be worth more than another board from 1960.

22:28 Caller Yeah, but we built a studio and it's going to be great because I just means the clock's not ticking and you get to do totally your own thing. And so we're going to make the record that we really know we can make.

22:38 Adam But I don't want to play devil's advocate here. But personally, I would need a clock ticking, otherwise I don't get anything done. Do you know what I mean? Like if I had my own space and someone said come and go as you please, I'd never come in. Do you know what I mean? You don't work that way.

22:55 Caller No. Recording studios tend to just reek of despair in there and it's horrible. And this is like my own clubhouse.

23:02 Drew You like your work. Yeah, exactly. It's equivalent to him building a place to build his model airplane.

23:06 Caller Whoa.

23:07 Caller Or like where I could box with other guys.

23:10 Adam Sweat on each other.

23:11 Caller Time to stop, doesn't it, Adam?

23:13 Adam Yeah, you're right. You're right. That I would do.

23:15 Drew You hate your work. Stephen loves his work.

23:17 Adam That's true. Yeah. Okay. I know I see it. And are you going to take this place and rent it out and make some money, too, like when you're on the road and stuff?

23:25 Caller It's really just kind of our place, you know?

23:28 Drew The answer is no.

23:28 Caller No.

23:29 Adam Okay. Because I'm just kind of cutting it out. No, Adam.

23:31 Caller No.

23:32 Adam Eric?

23:33 Caller Oh, hey. Hey.

23:34 Caller Hey, Eric.

23:35 Caller Hey, a long-time listener. I think like second-time caller. Great. I just first wanted to thank you and Dr. Drew, because I don't think if it was for you guys, I would have gotten to therapy when I really needed it. Oh, good for you. I was really into strongly, almost proud, independent person.

23:53 Drew Denial. Denial.

23:54 Caller I, you guys convinced me. I was all down with it. Anyway, a question for Stephen. How about your new album? I love Third Eye Blind. I like Sacrifice Goats to you guys every night.

24:04 Caller Thanks. I love going to therapy. We've got something in common.

24:07 Adam Twice.

24:11 Caller Anyway, I noticed that your first album was almost like the journey of a character or like a symphony, that there was a definite order and rhythm to it. And I was wondering if your new album is going to be similar.

24:26 Caller Hopefully. I mean, I like to make albums that you can listen to all the way through. And if not, then they're just, you know, collections of songs and that gets really boring. So, you know, I like I sort of like old records that are like that. And I think that's the tradition that we try and follow in, which is, you know, it's like the big rock tradition of whole albums, you know.

24:50 Adam Well, is it is a rhythm or is it a theme? Do you know what I mean? I mean, is it that some songs would just rhythmically go in front of other songs?

25:00 Caller Well, I think what he's talking about now, really, first of all, thank you so much for your praise because I try to make things that have some mood that travels and goes someplace over the course of a whole album. I mean, that's what I think rock music can do.

25:13 Guest Like a story.

25:16 Caller Like a dream or something, you know.

25:18 Caller Yeah, it's music that I can really stick with and I've stuck with for years.

25:22 Caller It's my life's work, man.

25:24 Caller I just have such faith in the work that you guys put out. Thank you. I just particularly appreciated the format of the first album and I'm really excited for the new one now.

25:33 Caller I need people with faith in me because they've been few and far between sometimes.

25:38 Adam Thanks, Eric.

25:38 Caller You catch my drift.

25:40 Adam I think you have quite a few fans, wouldn't you say?

25:44 Caller Yeah, Third Eye Blind fans are pretty amazing. They seem to really get it. Yeah. I'm always in awe of them.

25:50 Adam Well, that's a compliment.

25:52 Caller Indeed.

25:52 Adam All right. Let's talk to Carney, who's 22. Carney?

25:57 Guest Yes.

25:58 Adam What's up?

26:00 Guest It's a difficult one.

26:01 Adam All right.

26:02 Guest Well, kind of. Oh yeah. From last night, you're talking about who hit 61 home runs. That was a Yankee.

26:09 Adam That was Roger Maris.

26:10 Guest Yeah.

26:11 Adam I know.

26:11 Caller That wasn't so difficult.

26:12 Adam I know. I had a brain freeze and Drew had Drew's brain. So we were left without one for that night.

26:21 Guest Well, my question was, I'll be dating this girl for six months. She told me about a week ago that she still has feelings for her first love. He lives in the same town. He visited him once already and he hasn't seen me for over a week.

26:38 Adam All right.

26:39 Drew That one's over.

26:41 Adam That's right.

26:41 Drew That's done.

26:42 Adam You have to get back to your first love, which is masturbation.

26:47 Drew No, you have to get on. You got to get on with your life.

26:49 Adam Well, that's what I mean. Yeah.

26:52 Caller You know who doesn't have feelings for their first love?

26:54 Adam That's right.

26:55 Drew No, but she's using that as an excuse to end this relationship.

26:59 Adam Yeah. By the way, if she is so bold as to talk about another person, it is really over with.

27:05 Drew Yeah.

27:06 Adam I mean, usually you get that sort of, I need time to breathe. I need a little time alone. I got to find myself. It's not my favorite line. It's not you. It's me. I hate you. It is.

27:16 Guest Exactly. Exactly.

27:18 Adam But if she's going to bring up another guy and say she's still in love with him, it's over times 10, Carney. Sorry about that.

27:26 Guest That's okay.

27:27 Adam Well, are you all right?

27:28 Guest Yeah, I'm fine.

27:29 Adam Can you find somebody new?

27:32 Guest I got a couple of people in mind.

27:33 Adam Okay.

27:34 Caller Hey, Carney, it's going to feel a lot better when you say, you know what, I think we should call it quits. For you to say that, then, to hang around and be sure.

27:42 Adam Yeah. Well, he may not even get that opportunity. You haven't spoken to her in a week, right?

27:47 Guest No, I haven't spoken to her. I've spoken to her every day.

27:49 Adam Every day?

27:50 Guest She calls here. She says, um, I need my space and everything.

27:53 Drew Oh, excuse me. That's the stuff you usually get.

27:56 Guest Right. And she calls me, though. Right.

27:59 Adam She's returning your call.

28:00 Caller Yeah, tell her not to call you.

28:01 Drew Is she returning your call?

28:03 Guest She returns my call.

28:06 Caller You got yourself a playa, playa, playa on your hands.

28:10 Adam She's calling me.

28:12 Caller She's a pimp.

28:13 Drew You gotta stop calling, Carney.

28:15 Adam It's really like being viciously attacked after you hit someone with a bat. That's what her calling you after you call her is. Hey, Carney?

28:24 Caller Yeah.

28:25 Adam Let me tell you, she needs her space, right?

28:30 Caller Right.

28:31 Adam Don't believe it.

28:33 Drew She needs to be not with you.

28:35 Adam Right.

28:35 Drew That's what she's telling you.

28:37 Adam Don't live on this dream anymore, Carney. You don't call her. All right? You move on.

28:44 Caller Because in 50 years, you're going to be in a box for the rest of eternity, so get on with it.

28:48 Adam That's right. Ten years later, you'll die and then they'll bury you.

28:52 Drew But it is actually your only move. It is actually the only move.

28:54 Adam I think I misinterpreted the whole box thing.

28:56 Drew No, I think that's what he's talking about.

28:58 Caller No, what I'm saying is go live your life now.

29:00 Adam I thought they're going to put him in a box and then that would kill him.

29:02 Drew Oh, I see.

29:03 Adam Then they transfer him into another box.

29:05 Caller Nothing could kill Carney.

29:06 Adam All right, Carney.

29:06 Drew That's his only move because if he continues to pursue, she's going to push a way harder. Right. If there's any chance she's coming back, it's only going to be when you turn around and go the other way.

29:16 Adam But the toughest thing for guys is this strategy, which is you've got one plan and one plan only. It's one in ten, but here's your one shot. Your plan? Nothing.

29:28 Drew You go on with your life.

29:29 Adam It's so hard as a guy, especially when you're so used to scheming and plotting, totally. And mapping things out and coming up with ideas and plans. And fixing things. And fixing, right. Something's broken, we got to fix it. I don't care if it's the garage door or the relationship or concrete. To tell a 22-year-old guy with a ton of testosterone coursing through his veins, that here's your plan, you do nothing. You don't pick up the phone, you don't answer the phone, you just hang back and do nothing. I could never do that. And I always remember that's what I had to do. But I had to go do something like proactive or actually pro retarded, where I actually went forward.

30:07 Caller Sweaty mitts.

30:08 Adam Sweaty mitted guys.

30:09 Drew You have to show up at a doorstep looking for your old baseball glove.

30:12 Adam That is true. That was one of my plans. Well, I'd do that thing.

30:16 Drew It's good because you found a used condom instead.

30:17 Adam But me saying, how dare you air my laundry in front of Stephen? Do you realize he looks up to me?

30:23 Caller There's life in that condom yet.

30:28 Adam Here's what I would do. For me saying, I'm not going to call somebody is the same thing like when I announce, I'm not going to eat.

30:34 Drew Right. It's the exact same thing.

30:36 Adam I swear to Christ, every time I announce, no more eating, I can net finish the sentence because my mouth is full. I've stuffed something into my mouth before I've actually got to the eating part of it. No more calling, no more jacking off. Whatever I announce, I will do no more of.

30:53 Drew You're doing it.

30:54 Adam Yeah. You know the stuff I don't do is the stuff I announce I need to do. Here's what I'm going to start doing.

30:59 Caller Well, you shouldn't say that.

31:00 Adam Reading and learning the type. When I make those announcements, five years goes by, I do nothing. But the stuff I announce I'll never do happens while I'm announcing it. Drew, seriously, if you've ever, Stephen, you've done this before. I'm not beating off. I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed.

31:19 Caller I would never say that.

31:20 Adam I have.

31:20 Caller It's not healthy.

31:21 Adam It's 4.30 in the morning. You bed off or what's the past tense of beat?

31:26 Drew Done beat it.

31:27 Adam You've done beat it at 8.30 in the evening. Jesus Christ, go to bed for Christ's sake. You're drunk. Now it's on. Now it's game on.

31:35 Drew It's like a suggestion.

31:36 Adam I can't lie.

31:36 Drew I shouldn't have thought of it.

31:37 Adam Every night before I go to bed, I go no more eating, no more beating off, and no more calling old girlfriends. Then I do them all and not in that order. Drew, do you want to do it? Do you want to go five? Marianne?

31:51 Yeah.

31:52 Adam You're 19?

31:53 Caller Uh-huh.

31:54 Adam What's up?

31:55 Caller Wow, it's weird. I'm calling because I have a skin disorder, and it's called lichen plantis, and I want to know what it's caused from and how I can treat it.

32:05 Drew I'm sure you've seen a dermatologist, right?

32:07 Caller I've seen two.

32:08 Drew Okay. It has no known cause, which I'm sure they told you.

32:11 Adam What is that, Drew?

32:12 Drew It's itchy patches and a lace-like pattern in the cheek and your mouth, a little white lace-like.

32:17 Adam What do you mean lace?

32:18 Drew It looks lacy. It's a white film. A little like a spiderweb almost.

32:23 Adam Oh, that kind of lace. I was thinking a taffeta.

32:28 Caller You were thinking like a French cut?

32:29 Adam Yeah.

32:30 Drew It's usually pretty self-limited.

32:31 Adam Chiffon, a handful of chiffon.

32:33 Drew Not too big a deal. There's some mouth washes and some creams you can use to control it. It has no known cause. It's your immune system basically attacking your body for reasons that are not known.

32:42 Caller The first dermatologist I saw said it was caused by anxiety and he kind of just told me to calm down and that it affects mostly type A personality people. I went to another one to get a second opinion and I asked how I could treat this stuff in my mouth. He said he didn't know and gave me another hydrocortisone.

33:03 Drew There are some newer washes, but there were sort of hydrocortisone washes. It's better if you do nothing, frankly. The anxiety thing, that must be something new. I treat a lot of people with anxiety, like in colonists, and that's something I see regularly.

33:15 Caller What about a nice bath in Clorox?

33:17 Adam Yeah.

33:18 Caller Dr. Drew, your thoughts?

33:20 Drew You got to burn then we can treat that.

33:22 Adam So you're saying if you have a condition that can't be treated, cause one that can be treated on top of it.

33:27 Drew That's very interesting. Yeah, then good.

33:30 Adam There's a certain logic to that. Stephen Jenkins is here from Third Eye Blind, of course.

33:35 Caller Glad to be here.

33:36 Adam Also, we are glad to have him. It really makes things easier. It's like taking the show and just breaking it off into threes, like some kind of Kit Kat bar.

33:43 Caller I just want to do my part.

33:45 Adam Now you're doing your part. You're doing... You see, usually, here's how the show works. I do the guest part and Drew's part. And Drew does... No part. No part. That's right. We're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Stephen Jenkins is here from Third Eye Blind. Wow. Thank you. Working on the new CD. When is the new CD? When do you think it'll come out?

34:44 Caller I think we'll put it out in June.

34:46 Adam All right.

34:46 Caller Yeah.

34:46 Caller I've been building a studio in San Francisco. I finally built my own place.

34:50 Caller Oh, that's nice.

34:51 Caller Yeah, it's cool.

34:52 Adam Is it at your house?

34:54 Caller No, it's downtown.

34:56 Adam You actually bought a space and built it?

34:59 Caller Yeah. We actually got the board that the Rolling Stones recorded part of Beggar's Banquet on.

35:05 Adam Wow.

35:05 Caller It's going to be really cool.

35:06 Adam Now, would that board go for more than another board?

35:10 Caller It's worth a lot more because Mick Jagger touched it.

35:14 Adam Is it really?

35:14 Caller Yeah.

35:15 Caller He's in town. Hey, Mick. Yeah.

35:20 Adam Because I wonder, I mean, it would kind of make sense that if, well, you recorded Sergeant Peppers on this board or something, that it'd be worth more than another board from 1960.

35:30 Caller Yeah. But we built a studio and it's going to be great because it means the clock's not ticking and you get to do totally your own thing. And so we're going to make the record that we really know we can make.

35:40 Adam But I don't want to play devil's advocate here. But personally, I need a clock ticking. Otherwise, I don't get anything done. Do you know what I mean? Like if I had my own space and someone said, come and go as you please, I'd never come in. Do you know what I mean? You don't work that way.

35:57 Caller No. Recording studios tend to just reek of despair in there and it's horrible. And this is like my own clubhouse.

36:04 Drew You like your work, see? Yeah, exactly. It's equivalent to him building a place to build his model airplane. Whoa.

36:10 Caller Or like where I could box with other guys.

36:12 Adam Oh yeah, get sweat on each other.

36:14 Caller Time just stops, doesn't it, Adam?

36:15 Caller Yeah, you're right. You're right.

36:17 Adam That I would do.

36:17 Drew You hate your work. Stephen loves his work.

36:19 Adam That's true.

36:21 Caller Okay.

36:21 Drew You're different.

36:21 Adam I know. I see it. And are you going to take this place and rent it out and make some money too, like when you're on the road and stuff?

36:27 Caller It's really just kind of our place, you know?

36:30 Drew The answer is no.

36:31 Caller No.

36:31 Adam Okay. All right. Because I'm just kind of cutting it out. No, Adam.

36:34 Caller No.

36:34 Adam Eric?

36:35 Caller Oh, hey. Hey.

36:37 Caller Hey, Eric.

36:37 Caller Hey, long time listener. I think like second time caller. Great. I just first wanted to thank you and Dr. Drew, because I don't think if it was for you guys, I would have gotten to therapy when I really needed it. Oh, good for you. I was really into strongly, almost proud independent person.

36:55 Drew Denial. Denial.

36:57 Caller You guys convinced me. I was all down with it. Anyway, a question to Stephen.

37:01 Caller Yeah.

37:01 Caller How's your new album? I love Third Eye Blind. I like Sacrifice Goats to you guys every night.

37:06 Caller Thanks. I love going to therapy. We've got something in common.

37:13 Caller Anyway, I noticed that your first album was almost like the journey of a character or like a symphony, that there was a definite order and rhythm to it. And I was wondering if your new album is going to be similar.

37:28 Caller Hopefully. I mean, I like to make albums that you can listen to all the way through. And if not, then they're just, you know, collections of songs and that gets really boring. So, you know, I like I sort of like old records that are like that. And I think that's the tradition that we try and follow in, which is, you know, it's like the big rock tradition of whole albums, you know?

37:52 Adam Well, is it is a rhythm or is it a theme? Do you know what I mean? I mean, is it that some songs would just rhythmically go in front of other songs?

38:02 Caller Well, I think what he's talking about now really, first of all, thank you so much for your praise, because I try to make things that have some mood that travels and goes someplace over the course of a whole album. I mean, that's what I think rock music can do.

38:15 Guest Like a story.

38:18 Caller Like a dream or something, you know?

38:20 Caller Yeah, it's music that I can really stick with and I've stuck with for years.

38:24 Caller It's my life's work, man.

38:26 Caller I just have such faith in the work that you guys put out. Thank you. I particularly appreciated the format of the first album and I'm really excited for the new one now.

38:36 Caller I need people with faith in me because they've been few and far between sometimes.

38:40 Adam Thanks, Eric.

38:41 Caller You catch my drift.

38:43 Adam I think you have quite a few fans, wouldn't you say?

38:46 Caller Yeah, Third Eye Blind fans are pretty amazing. They seem to really get it. I'm always in awe of them.

38:52 Adam Well, that's a compliment.

38:54 Caller Indeed.

38:55 Adam All right. Let's talk to Carney, who's 22. Carney?

38:59 Guest Yes.

39:00 Adam What's up?

39:02 Guest It's a difficult one.

39:04 Adam All right.

39:04 Guest Well, kind of. Oh yeah. From last night, you're talking about who hit 61 homeruns. That was a Yankee.

39:11 Adam That was Roger Maris.

39:12 Guest Yeah.

39:13 Adam I know.

39:13 Caller That wasn't so difficult.

39:14 Adam I know. I had a brain freeze and Drew had Drew's brain. So we were left without one for that night.

39:23 Guest Well, my question was I'll be dating this girl for six months. And she told me about a week ago that she still has feelings for her first love and he lives in the same town. He visited him like once already. And he hasn't seen me for over a week.

39:40 Adam All right.

39:41 Drew That one's over.

39:43 Adam That's right.

39:44 Drew That's done.

39:44 Adam You have to get back to your first love, which is masturbation.

39:49 Drew No, you have to get on. You got to get on with your life.

39:52 Adam Well, that's what I mean. Yeah.

39:54 Caller You know, who doesn't have feelings for their first love?

39:56 Adam That's right.

39:57 Drew No, but she's using that as an excuse to end this relationship.

40:01 Caller Yeah.

40:02 Adam And by the way, if she is so bold as to talk about another person, it is really over with.

40:07 Caller Yeah.

40:08 Adam I mean, usually you get that sort of, I need time to breathe.

40:11 Drew It's not you, it's me.

40:11 Adam I need a little time alone. I got to find myself. It's not, you know, my favorite line, it's not you, it's me. I hate you.

40:18 Guest It is, exactly, exactly.

40:20 Adam But if she's gonna bring up another guy and say she's still in love with him, it's over times 10, Carney. Sorry about that.

40:28 Guest Yeah, it's okay.

40:29 Adam Well, are you all right?

40:30 Guest Yeah, I'm fine.

40:31 Adam Can you find somebody new?

40:34 Guest I got a couple people in mind.

40:35 Adam Okay.

40:36 Caller Hey, Carney, it's gonna feel a lot better when you say, you know what, I think we should call it quits, for you to say that than to hang around and be sure.

40:44 Adam Yeah. Well, he may not even get that opportunity. You haven't spoken to her in a week, right?

40:49 Guest No, I haven't spoken to her every day.

40:52 Adam Every day?

40:52 Guest She calls here. She says, I need my space and everything.

40:56 Drew Excuse me. That's the stuff you usually get.

40:59 Adam Right.

40:59 Guest And she calls me, though. Right.

41:01 Adam She's returning your call.

41:03 Caller Yeah, tell her not to call you.

41:04 Drew Is she returning your call?

41:05 Guest She returns my call.

41:08 Caller You got yourself a playa, playa, playa on your hands.

41:12 Adam She's calling me.

41:15 Caller She's a pimp.

41:16 Drew You got to stop calling, Carney.

41:17 Adam It's really like being viciously attacked after you hit someone with a bat. That's what her calling you after you call her is. Hey, Carney.

41:27 Caller Yeah.

41:27 Adam Let me tell you, she needs her space, right?

41:32 Caller Right.

41:33 Adam Don't believe it.

41:35 Drew She needs to be not with you.

41:37 Adam Right.

41:37 Drew That's what she's telling you.

41:39 Adam Don't live on this dream anymore, Carney. You don't call her. All right? You move on.

41:46 Caller Because in 50 years, you're going to be in a box for the rest of eternity, so get on with it.

41:50 Adam That's right. Ten years later, you'll die and then they'll bury you.

41:54 Drew But it is actually your only move.

41:56 Adam I think I misinterpreted the whole box thing.

41:59 Drew No, I think that's what he's talking about.

42:00 Caller No, what I'm saying is go live your life now.

42:02 Adam I thought they're going to put him in a box and then that would kill him.

42:05 Drew Oh, I see.

42:05 Adam And then they put him and they transfer him into another box.

42:07 Caller Nothing could kill Carney.

42:08 Adam All right, Carney.

42:09 Drew That's his only move because if he continues to pursue, she's going to push away harder.

42:13 Caller Right.

42:13 Drew And if there's any chance she's coming back, it's only going to be when you turn around and go the other way.

42:18 Adam But the toughest thing for guys is this strategy, which is you've got one plan and one plan only. It's one in 10, but here's your one shot.

42:28 Drew Yeah.

42:28 Adam Your plan? Nothing.

42:30 Drew You go on with your life.

42:31 Adam It's so hard as a guy, especially when you're so used to scheming and plotting.

42:36 Caller Totally.

42:36 Adam And mapping things out and coming up with ideas and plans.

42:40 Caller Fixing things.

42:40 Adam Fixing. Right. Something's broken, we got to fix it. I don't care if it's the garage door or the relationship or concrete. And to tell a 22-year-old guy with a ton of testosterone coursing through his veins that here's your plan, you do nothing. You don't pick up the phone, you don't answer the phone, you just hang back and do nothing. I could never do that. And I always remember that's what I had to do, but I had to go do something like proactive or actually pro-retarded.

43:08 Caller Where I actually went forward, sweaty mitts.

43:10 Adam Sweaty mitted guys.

43:11 Drew You had to show up at a doorstep looking for your old baseball glove.

43:14 Adam That is true. That was one of my plans to do. Well, I do that thing.

43:18 Drew It's good because you found a used condom instead.

43:19 Adam But me saying, how dare you air my laundry in front of Stephen? Do you realize he looks up to me?

43:25 Caller There's life in that condom yet.

43:30 Adam Here's what I would do. For me saying I'm not going to call somebody is the same thing like when I announce I'm not going to eat.

43:36 Drew Right. It's the exact same thing.

43:38 Adam I swear to Christ, every time I announce no more eating, Game on. I can't finish the sentence because my mouth is full. I've stuffed something into my mouth before I've actually gotten to the eating part of it.

43:49 Caller I'm totally with you there, man.

43:50 Adam No more calling, no more jacking off. Whatever I announce, I will do no more of. You're doing it. Yeah. You know the stuff I don't do is the stuff I announce I need to do. Here's what I'm going to start doing.

44:01 Caller Well, you shouldn't say that.

44:02 Adam Reading and learning to type. When I make those announcements, five years goes by, I do nothing. But the stuff I announce I'll never do, happens while I'm announcing it. Drew, seriously, Stephen, you've done this where you go, I'm not beating off, I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed. I'm not beating off.

44:21 Caller I would never say that.

44:22 Adam I have. It's not healthy. It's 4.30 in the morning, you bed off or what's the past tense of beat?

44:28 Drew Done beat it.

44:29 Adam You've done beat it at 8.30 in the evening. Jesus Christ, go to bed for Christ's sake. You're drunk. Now it's on. Now it's game on.

44:37 Drew It's like a suggestion.

44:38 Caller I can't lie.

44:39 Drew Shouldn't have thought of it.

44:39 Adam Every night before I go to bed, I go no more eating, no more beating off and no more calling old girlfriends. And then I do them all. And not in that order.

44:49 Caller Drew, you want to do it?

44:50 Adam Dude, you beat off? You want to go five? Marianne?

44:53 Caller Yeah?

44:54 Adam You're 19?

44:55 Caller Uh-huh.

44:56 Adam What's up?

44:57 Caller Wow, it's weird. I'm calling because I have a skin disorder. And it's called lichen plantis. And I want to know what it's caused from and how I can treat it.

45:08 Drew I'm sure you've seen a dermatologist, right?

45:10 Caller I've seen two.

45:10 Drew Okay, it has no known cause, which I'm sure they told you.

45:13 Adam What is that, Drew?

45:14 Drew It's a itchy patches and a lace-like pattern in the cheek in your mouth, a little white lace-like.

45:20 Adam What do you mean lace?

45:20 Drew It looks lacy. It's a white film. A little like a spiderweb almost.

45:25 Adam Oh, that kind of lace. I was thinking a taffeta.

45:30 Caller You were thinking like a French cut?

45:31 Adam Yeah.

45:32 Drew It's usually pretty self-limited.

45:33 Adam Chiffon, a handful of chiffons.

45:35 Drew Not too big a deal. There's some mouth washes and some creams you can use to control it. Has no known cause. It's your immune system basically attacking your body for reasons that are not known.

45:44 Caller They told me, the first dermatologist I saw said it was caused by anxiety and he kind of just told me to calm down and that it affects mostly type A personality people. So I don't and then I went to another one to get a second opinion and he asked how I could treat this stuff in my mouth. He said he didn't know and gave me another hydrocortisone.

46:05 Drew There are some newer washes but there were sort of hydrocortisone washes and it's better if you do nothing frankly. The anxiety thing that must be something new. I see you'll treat a lot of people with anxiety like in colonis and that's something I see regularly.

46:17 Caller What about like a nice bath in Clorox?

46:20 Adam Yeah.

46:20 Caller Dr. Drew, your thoughts?

46:23 Drew You got to burn then we can treat that.

46:25 Adam So you're saying if you have a condition that can't be treated, cause one that can be treated on top of it.

46:29 Drew On top of it. Yeah, then good.

46:32 Adam There's a certain logic to that. Stephen Jenkins is here from Third Eye Blind, of course.

46:37 Caller Glad to be here.

46:38 Adam Also, we are glad to have him. It really makes things easier. It's like taking the show and just breaking it off into threes, like some kind of Kit Kat bar.

46:45 Caller I just want to do my part.

46:47 Adam Now, you're doing your part. You're doing, you see, usually, here's how the show works. I do the guest part and Drew's part, and Drew does no part. No part, that's right. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back. Hey, Loveline, everybody. Welcome back to the Best Of Show. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew. No use giving the phone number out because we will not be fielding calls tonight.

47:35 Drew No, that's right.

47:36 Adam This is the Best Of Show. First up in the second hour is Travis, and then comes our old friends, 311. Dougie's here, and so is Fran. And again, from Travis, The Invisible Band is the name of the CD. We're going to hear something off of that CD. Two million sold, thank you, worldwide. We'll hear something off of that in just a couple of calls. Right now, we'll speak to... Where are we going to speak, Sarah? Yeah. Oh, is that how? Sarah? Hello? Hey, you're 28. What's up?

48:05 Caller Oh, hi. I had a question for Travis.

48:07 Adam Hello.

48:07 Caller Hello.

48:09 Caller Hey, I wondered if you had any Scottish influences, bands or Scottish who have influenced you?

48:15 Caller Well, when we were doing our final demos before going to London to get a deal, we went to the studio where Teenage Fan Club were recording.

48:25 Drew Remember them?

48:26 Adam Yeah.

48:26 Caller Then they were great to us. They were absolutely great because we didn't really have much gear.

48:31 Drew The only Scottish band I ever met was Catherine Wheel.

48:34 Caller Oh, yeah. I remember them. But they gave us their equipment. They gave us all these really lovely acoustic guitars and I played through Norman's Vox amp and it was great.

48:45 Caller All this stuff which we proceeded to sell and booze with.

48:50 Caller We met. They were doing something with Alex Chilton at the time. They were rehearsing with Alex Chilton from Big Star. It was kind of cool.

48:57 Caller I think as far as Scottish influences go, it's kind of more than anything. It's our folks, our parents and families and friends.

49:03 Adam Were they musical?

49:05 Caller Yeah, and just kind of personality-wise, I think more than anything. It's Scottish people, especially kind of the West Coast, Scotland, Glasgow and stuff. People are generally pretty open and kind of, I suppose modest. It's just a nice place to come from.

49:18 Caller Well, I have kind of a cheeky request.

49:20 Caller What is that?

49:21 Caller This is sort of cheeky. My great friend is Frank Reader from the Trash Cam Sinatra.

49:26 Caller Oh, yeah, Frank.

49:27 Caller And this crazy thing happened, like when you guys were, I think you played together a long time ago. Yeah, yeah. And like he took his demos to the record, your demos to the record company and was like, oh, Travis, they're so great and everything. And then like a month later, like you were signed and they were dropped. I just wondered if you could ever put in a good word for those poor, luckless boys.

49:51 Caller Oh, I believe they've made an album. Some Japanese fans financed, self-financed their new record.

49:58 Caller Yeah, I don't think that came out. I think they're making an album like next year.

50:02 Adam Well, it's not like they cut the trash cans and otters to make room for Travis.

50:07 Caller No, I'm not saying that at all. Oh, okay.

50:10 Adam They came to their senses.

50:11 Caller That's all.

50:14 Caller I'm just begging. I just had this fantasy one day. I talked to Travis and asked him to put in a good word if they ever had a chance.

50:20 Caller Well, the Frank Reader is a brilliant singer. The guy is very, very talented. His sister is Eddie Reader from Fairground Attraction, and their whole family is full of brilliant singers.

50:31 Adam Save it for the record company, though. I mean, don't shoot your wad here when you talk to the label.

50:37 Caller Hold the button.

50:38 Save some for the label.

50:40 Adam All right, Sarah.

50:40 Caller I have a health question. A real problem, too.

50:43 Drew Sorry. Real quick.

50:44 Caller Well, I've had bladder infection symptoms for eight weeks, but I've never had any bacteria cultured. And I wonder if you had any idea what that could be. They're going to do an exam, but the urologist doesn't think he's even going to see anything.

50:56 Drew They're going to have a cystoscopy?

50:58 Caller Yeah, but he said, you know, oh, that usually just shows irritation.

51:01 Drew Right. You're going to get a grab bag diagnosis called interstitial cystitis.

51:05 Caller They won't tell me it's that. Do you think it could be that?

51:08 Drew Yeah, which is sort of horrible. No, when they can't figure anything else out, that's what they call it. Do you do a lot of bike riding or spinning?

51:15 Caller No.

51:16 Drew No? Sometimes that causes no vaginal problems.

51:19 Caller Well, the whole area hurts a lot.

51:21 Drew Have you seen a gynecologist?

51:22 Caller Yeah, they don't see anything wrong.

51:25 Adam Who is it, the bass player from the trash cans? Who's been doing this damage to you? And by the way, listen, let me talk to Damien, the phone screener. Please, no more trash can sinatra slash vaginosis questions. I'm up to here with these things. It's a common combination. We get them every night. What about the trash can sinatra's? And I have a bladder infection.

51:50 Drew That kind of vaginal irritation that can't be sort of determined is a real pretty common thing.

51:57 Adam So what do they do?

51:59 Caller Drink lots of cranberry juice?

52:00 Drew No, it's not a urinary thing. Often it's a vaginal problem. There are all kinds of things they try and often it ends up being sort of...

52:07 Adam Psychological? Yeah, sometimes. Okay. I know where Drew is going. Natalie?

52:12 Caller Yes?

52:13 Adam You're 20?

52:14 Caller Yes, I am.

52:15 Adam What's up?

52:16 Caller Well, I was wondering about the spermicide on condoms because there's been a few occasions where I'd be having sex with my boyfriend and in certain positions they would come off inside me and we wouldn't know it until we were both done.

52:32 Drew The condom would come off?

52:33 Caller Yeah.

52:33 Drew That's no good. The spermicide have no use.

52:37 Caller Really?

52:37 Drew No use. That's when you got to get the emergency contraceptive.

52:40 Adam Why do they put it on there if it has no use?

52:43 Drew As much as anything it was a selling point. Because they use the non-oxynol 9 stuff and so it was supposed to be maybe to kill some of the HIV. So it really does not have a significant effect. Certainly if a load is dumped in her vagina.

52:59 Adam Oh no.

53:01 Drew You've got to kill.

53:03 Adam Spilled.

53:03 Drew Seed is spilled.

53:04 Adam What is your bedside manner, Drew?

53:06 Drew Load is dumped or seed is spilled. It's all the same to me. The fact is you need to get that emergency contraception. Okay, Natalie?

53:12 Caller Yes.

53:12 Drew You do.

53:14 Adam How did you get the count amount?

53:16 Caller Well, it was not a pleasant procedure but.

53:20 Adam Did you do it?

53:21 Caller Yeah, I did it.

53:22 Adam Did you take my advice and use compressed air or did you just try to do it digitally? Compressed air will get it out faster than almost anything.

53:30 Caller I just went in and got it.

53:31 Drew I see. Where are you going to get the emergency contraceptive from?

53:35 Caller Probably from a local clinic.

53:37 Drew Okay. Keep that in your medicine cabinet.

53:39 Caller Okay. I have one more question that Sarah actually brought to my attention. I heard that the symptoms for a urinary tract infection was also the same symptoms that you could find for chlamydia. Is that true?

53:53 Drew True. Or any other STD.

53:55 Caller Really? Okay.

53:57 Drew All right. You got a problem? No.

53:59 Caller I was just curious because a friend had brought it up and she had been worried about it. So I stopped inquiring for her.

54:04 Adam No.

54:04 Drew It's not to you to decide what you have. You've got to get checked out.

54:06 Adam I know. I know I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again. Having that vagina is a full-time job. I mean, it's like you driving a vintage Jaguar for your daily driver. Just a hassle. I mean, it's great. It's great when everything's working great, but it's not an everyday car. It's a Sunday car. You wouldn't want to be stuck with it.

54:29 Caller It requires a lot of care and attention.

54:30 Adam Yeah, when it's raining, and when you're running late for work, and the carbs aren't synchronized, and the electrical's on the fritz. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like that vagina is just a full-time job. No wonder women don't get paid as much as men. They can't work as many hours with that vagina. They're constantly attending to it.

54:50 Drew Teams of people standing by to help them.

54:52 Adam You need a staff of people, like I see, you need like an entourage for your vagina.

54:57 Caller A vagina mechanic.

54:59 Adam Yeah, like I said, if you...

55:00 Caller Open up the hood and just poke about.

55:03 Adam It's like driving an exotic car every day.

55:07 Caller And you just can't do that.

55:09 Adam No, you just can't. And what we have in our pants is a nice Camry.

55:14 Caller If you're lucky.

55:15 Adam Maybe. Actually, I got a...

55:18 Caller Mini Cooper.

55:18 Adam I got a Tercel.

55:19 Drew Yeah, I was going to say you have a...

55:20 Adam I got a beige Tercel with no air. No power, four-speed, no power windows, no power door locks, AM radio.

55:31 Drew And you lost brakes.

55:32 Caller Has it got an 8-track?

55:33 Adam Yeah, it stops fine.

55:34 Caller Does it have an alarm system?

55:36 Adam No, no one will try to steal it. I came out one morning, some kids were poking around. I told them to beat it, and that was it. No one wants it. Why put an alarm on it? I leave the underpants open at night. I don't want anyone breaking into it.

55:50 Caller All right.

55:54 Adam Oh, spare balls in the trunk. Space saver balls, though, the little ones. You know what I mean? Yeah. It doesn't look good at the beach. All right, let's take one more call, and then we'll hear something else from Travis. Chuck, you're 30? What's up?

56:11 Caller I'd like to say you're great, and hi to the band. Hello, Chuck.

56:15 Caller How are you doing?

56:16 Caller You got a new fan. Oh, cool.

56:18 Caller Thank you.

56:19 Caller It's amazing how when people with really thick accents sing, their accent goes away.

56:24 Caller Yeah, I know.

56:26 Caller Okay. My question is for Dr. Drew. Yeah. I kind of have two different problems. They kind of, and I'm wondering if there's a correlation between the two of them. I'm on antidepressants. Right now, I'm on wild buterin and boost bar. And I've been on probably a dozen different types of antidepressants within the last year because what happens is they work for a short amount of time, sometimes only a week or two, sometimes two or three months, and then they stop working. A couple of times, like when I was on Effexor, they tried to keep bumping it up to make it work. And it actually had like an adverse effect. Have you heard of that?

57:16 Drew Oh yeah. I mean, you're describing a situation that I see commonly.

57:20 Caller Okay, and one time I get...

57:22 Drew And it's usually, I'm surprised they've not been recommending ECT to you, shock therapies.

57:27 Caller What?

57:28 Drew Shock therapies, has that come up at all? Shock therapy?

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:32 Drew Shock therapies, have that been brought up to you at all?

57:34 Caller No, no. They just keep on putting me on different medications.

57:38 Adam Why shock therapy, Drew?

57:39 Drew Because he's describing a situation that, there are certain people that don't respond to antidepressant medicine very well, they respond for a very short period of times. These people do respond to shock therapies, which has been shown now to be quite effective and efficacious. I have to deal with this a lot with people who did a bunch of acid.

57:56 Caller That was my next question.

57:57 Drew People who have been on LSD have such severe depletion of their brain chemicals that the antidepressants can't support it, but the shock therapies do.

58:05 Adam It's kind of stigmatized, the shock therapy, right?

58:08 Drew It is, but you're asleep.

58:10 Caller We've all seen one flu over the course of the year.

58:11 Drew Yeah, it's nothing like that. It's just running like current.

58:14 Adam It's much worse. Nothing like that.

58:16 Caller When I was 19 to about 21, I did massive amounts of LSD at this point. I mean, like almost every single day.

58:25 Caller There you go.

58:26 Caller That is a lot. That was my question, if there was a correlation between the two of them.

58:30 Drew I see it all the time. My experience has been that you really got to go down towards the shock therapies to get some response, because these are disabling depressions from LSD.

58:41 Adam All right. There is a lesson to you, kiddies. You got to pay the fiddler at some point. You cannot just get high, incredibly crazy, out of your brain high, constantly for long periods of time, and expect not to change your brain chemistry.

58:59 Drew That's right.

59:00 Adam You're altering your brain so many times, it just stands to reason, and even lay people can understand why it would then be altered permanently at a certain point.

59:10 Caller Because it forgets what it's got to go back to.

59:13 Caller What made you stop taking acid, or have you stopped taking acid?

59:17 Caller Chuck? Yeah, I haven't done any drugs probably in the last seven years. I was like one of those...

59:25 Caller Did you just drift off them, or did you...

59:28 Caller Did you make a decision?

59:29 Caller Well, I kind of just ran its course. Everything's fun and games when you're back, when it's happening. And then finally you wake up one day and you realize that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. So I kind of just pretty much stopped.

59:49 Adam So Chuck, look into the electroshock stuff, all right?

59:52 Caller Good times.

59:54 Guest Yeah.

59:55 Adam All right. It'll help you.

59:56 Drew It does work.

59:57 Guest Yeah.

59:57 Adam Okay. Thanks a lot.

59:59 Drew All right.

59:59 Adam Take care of yourself. All right. Yeah. That acid. Listen, you can do whatever you want a couple of times, but you just can't do that stuff all the time.

1:00:11 Caller Not for two years.

1:00:12 Drew There are many people that get that after a few exposures.

1:00:15 Adam Right. But we call those lightweights.

1:00:17 Drew Call it what you will.

1:00:18 Adam All right. But they're bound. They're just weak people. Weak-minded people. I have no sympathy for those people. But the people who abuse it, they got to stop. All right. We're going to hear something from Travis. How about that? Yes. You cue it up there, Anderson? This one is called Side. That is our new friends, Travis. The Invisible Man is the name of the CD. Two million sold worldwide. Drew thought it was just in the greater Los Angeles area.

1:04:30 Drew I was impressed though.

1:04:31 Caller Yeah, can we just say it's not.

1:04:36 Adam We were just talking about world events during the commercial and I'm sorry, during the song and the tragedy and all that. And you know, I don't know why I was just thinking about this, but you know, there's all these accusations coming from Afghanistan that we're bombing and targeting civilians. And I thought, you know, another one of the gables.

1:04:58 Drew What would be in it for us?

1:04:59 Adam Well, A, what's in it for us. But B, let's just say for the sake of argument, you're right. We are solely targeting civilian population. Don't you think we'd be doing a little better job? You know what I mean? That's like, let's just use your logic. All right, we're going after civilians. Hey, if we're going after civilians, we take out the whole goddamn country would have been gone by now. The reason it's taking us a long time is because we're sort of picking our targets and trying to surgically do our thing. And yes, civilians get caught in that. But if we were in fact going after them, we just start some carpet bombing with the B-52s and the whole place would be burning right now. So so use your logic and think about the arsenal we have in its proximity to where you are. And if we were going after every hospital, every church, and every village would be burning right now.

1:05:52 Caller Obviously, the whole thing is so political as well.

1:05:55 Adam Yeah, it's just it's it's the things that's the accusations that people make that that have zero merit or that they don't think through, you know, it's like when we turn we turn guilty like, oh yeah, no, we're defensive.

1:06:08 Drew We don't mean to.

1:06:09 Adam No, that's the problem. Yeah, I think somebody should look somebody in the eye and say, you really think if this country was intending to get civilian targets, we wouldn't have more than this by now, we'd have the whole country.

1:06:22 Caller The thing is, you don't even know, knowing you're not, we're not told anything.

1:06:27 Adam No, no, not really. But I'm fine with that.

1:06:30 Caller Have you seen the press conferences that the Pentagon have been having and they just can't really answer anything because if they were to answer anything and say exactly what they've been doing, and then they would be telling the enemy or whatever. So it's been, it's futile. I'm massively opposed to it, I think we both are, because we've been going from hotel to hotel across America, CNN, and there's, it's just, it's the fear thing, you know, it's like the volume of, you know, making everyone really, really, I don't know, is it overly afraid, or is it, you know?

1:06:59 Caller There's nothing more harmful for anybody, wherever they're from, than to live in a climate of fear. I think that is something that is harmful, at a very, completely fundamental level.

1:07:11 Caller They stretch it out, you know?

1:07:12 Drew It's never really happened in this country before, but it's happening now.

1:07:14 Caller I know, but it's, I don't know, it's kind of stretched out, there's, you know, there came a point when they're just seeming to be fell in space until, it's weird.

1:07:24 Caller It's kind of what the news does wherever you're on it, you know, it makes you feel, generally you're given bad news all the time, and you're made to feel afraid so that you run to government or to anybody in a position of authority for security.

1:07:37 Adam Well, you know, maybe I'm being naïve, but I wonder, and maybe this is just my personal feeling, because I'm not really scared, but I'm definitely interested in talking about everything, and I know everyone's concerned, and I know it's a topic that's on everyone's mind, but I wonder, and everyone says we're in fear, we're a nation in fear, but I wonder if you just stop people, if they're actually really fearful. I think it's more that they're interested in it, it's provocative, and I think there's, no, I'm not saying they don't have some sense of fear, but I don't think this country's paralyzed, and I don't think most people you come across are walking around in fear.

1:08:19 Caller No, and I don't think they should, I don't think that fear is a constructive thing, ever.

1:08:24 Adam No, and I think it's talked about more than it's feared. Do you know what I'm saying? Drew, you're such a puss, please, you're driving me nuts. Here's what I'm saying, Drew, I know we have reason to be concerned, and I know there are people that are fearful, and you're fearful yourself, but you're not really, you're not fearful, you're not walking around in agony.

1:08:46 Drew I think if you have kids, it feels totally different. If we're just me, bring it on.

1:08:51 Adam Right.

1:08:51 Drew But when you have kids, you are walking around anxious 24-7.

1:08:56 Adam No, but that's because you're half-Jewish.

1:08:59 Drew No, that's all the parents we talk to, other people come to my office and complain about it.

1:09:04 Adam Don't you think there's more talk about it than there is, it's going to happen to me? Do you know what I mean? How many people actually think something's going to happen that's going to involve them? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:09:15 Drew I have found there are sort of two camps. One is like, I'm not taking this stuff seriously, it doesn't apply to me, and a lot of people are thinking, anytime now.

1:09:24 Adam I think almost everyone has that anytime, but I'm not going to be the one who's at the mall.

1:09:29 Drew I think that's a normal defense, though.

1:09:31 Adam Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. So people are talking about it, and they're fearful of it, but I don't think people have this realization like, I'm going to be on the next plane, or I'm going to be at this stadium.

1:09:41 Caller I don't think that anybody ever feels that. I think that it's part of human nature to even deny.

1:09:46 Drew I mean, the guys walking out of Omaha Beach, we looked around them and said, oh, those poor guys around me are not going to make it off.

1:09:50 Caller Yeah.

1:09:52 Adam Right. Omaha Beach is not in Omaha, by the way. I just want to tell our young listeners, he's talking about World War II and D-Day, I'm guessing. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Travis is here. What percentage of our stone listeners do you figure Omaha Beach was in Omaha, Nebraska?

1:10:07 Drew Saving Private Ryan was a pretty popular film. I thought maybe they picked it up there.

1:10:10 Adam No, I think they're saying Nebraska's landlocked, but I don't know. All right, we'll take a break.

1:10:16 Caller We'll be back.

1:10:17 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:10:37 Adam Loveline, everybody. Best of Loveline, that is.

1:10:40 Caller I'm Adam.

1:10:40 Adam That's Drew. We're warming our cockles by some fire somewhere, and I don't know what your excuse for listening to this show is.

1:10:48 Drew I don't know, but you don't have cockles.

1:10:50 Adam Oh, you don't?

1:10:50 Drew No.

1:10:51 Adam Did your old lady get the cockles?

1:10:52 Drew She got those too.

1:10:53 Adam In the divorce?

1:10:54 Caller Tough break.

1:10:56 Adam All right, everybody. Enjoy from 311, our friend Nick Hexham. 311 here tonight. We'll take some calls and then do the usual. Kevin?

1:11:07 How's it going, man?

1:11:08 Adam Good. What's up?

1:11:09 Not too much. First of all, I'd like to say Adam and Drew, you guys rock.

1:11:14 Adam Thanks.

1:11:15 311, you guys are the greatest band ever.

1:11:18 Guest I got all of these.

1:11:20 The Blue Album is definitely by far the best, but all of them are awesome. Yeah, question.

1:11:25 Guest Thanks a lot.

1:11:26 Just wondering how many times a day is too many for masturbation there, Adam?

1:11:34 Drew Oh, careful now. You might offend the Adam here.

1:11:38 Adam Well, what do you mean?

1:11:39 Drew Well, if we start to argue about how many times a day is too much.

1:11:41 Adam Well, are you asking me or are you asking?

1:11:43 Yeah, I'm asking you. I'm going a good four or five.

1:11:47 Adam Yeah, that's a little light, but I'd like to see more.

1:11:51 Guest That's before noon, right?

1:11:53 Adam Yeah, I mean, once you guys break for summer, have you broken for summer yet at school?

1:11:57 No, I just graduated, man.

1:11:59 Adam Alright, so I'd like to see that step up, just a couple. That's fine, you're 17. Do you have a job? Yeah. What do you do for a theme? You work the same theme over and over again? How does that work?

1:12:13 Caller Same theme?

1:12:14 Adam Yeah, masturbatory theme.

1:12:15 Drew Is it a different fantasy or a different lubricant?

1:12:18 Caller It's just to get it all. It doesn't really matter.

1:12:22 Drew Yeah, it's like anime. What's your theme when you pee?

1:12:26 Adam Asparagus.

1:12:27 Guest Usually it's my theme.

1:12:29 Drew Kevin, is there a reason you'd be a sexual compulsive?

1:12:32 Adam Seem from mahogany sometimes.

1:12:33 Caller No, not really.

1:12:34 Drew Were you sexually abused or anything growing up?

1:12:36 Caller No, no. Just a 17, 18 year old guy.

1:12:39 Drew Yeah, all right.

1:12:40 Caller That's about normal.

1:12:41 Adam Hey Kevin, do you have a girlfriend?

1:12:44 Caller No, not right now.

1:12:45 Adam Shocking. Listen, you got to understand-

1:12:48 Drew He's not a virgin though.

1:12:50 What's that?

1:12:51 Drew Listen to the voice.

1:12:52 Adam No, you're not a virgin, are you, Kevin?

1:12:54 Caller No.

1:12:55 Guest But you can really tell?

1:12:55 Yeah.

1:12:56 Adam Yeah, he's got that voice.

1:12:57 Caller Yeah, no. Hey boy, before you guys get rid of me, I'm 311. Why don't you guys heading over to the DC area?

1:13:05 Guest We're dropping off the Warped Tour right before we get to DC, so we're definitely going to make that up. The beginning of our next tour. Virginia. You can drive down to Virginia. Yeah, that's close, right?

1:13:14 Caller Oh yeah, that's no problem. Yeah, I heard the Warped Tour you guys were doing. Yeah, you guys are doing the Warped Tour in Virginia?

1:13:20 Guest I believe so. It's a drive away for sure. That wouldn't be too far for you to go.

1:13:27 Adam Alright. You can beat off on the way over to Virginia, right?

1:13:30 Drew Yeah, every time.

1:13:32 Adam You ever do the car one, Kevin? All the time. All the way to work. Right.

1:13:36 Drew Good times.

1:13:36 Adam Great. I'm just worried that he'll sort of lose his motivation. It does take a certain amount of semen to get you out of the house, get you to the job, get you to meet women. If you're totally depleted, it's hard to motivate. Right.

1:13:50 Guest If you stop masturbating, you'll probably just find the motivation to go out and get a girlfriend, maybe.

1:13:55 Adam Right. There's an element.

1:13:56 Drew If he stopped masturbating, we'd have to hospitalize him.

1:13:59 Caller He'd blow up.

1:14:00 Adam Right. Then he'd begin raping. Ryan?

1:14:03 Yeah.

1:14:04 Adam You're 21?

1:14:04 Caller Yep. What's up, Adam?

1:14:06 Adam What's up?

1:14:06 Caller What's up, Joe? Hey, Ryan. 311, I just want to say that you guys pretty much got me into music back when I was first listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ravana in 311. And we live in Boise, Idaho, and we don't get to see you guys too much just because it's a small town.

1:14:21 Guest But we're coming your way.

1:14:23 Caller I know you are, and I'll be there. Cool. We pretty much cruise out every time you guys come anywhere close. And Peanut Man, are you there?

1:14:31 Caller Yes, that's me.

1:14:31 Caller We always roll a J for you.

1:14:33 Caller That's right.

1:14:33 Caller We always try to know you in the forehead every time we're in that crowd, and I always miss you, man. I've wasted probably four big ass joints on you.

1:14:40 Caller There you go. You'll hit me that way.

1:14:42 Guest I'll try and nail you.

1:14:43 Caller Thanks.

1:14:44 Caller I'll wear headgear.

1:14:46 Caller But Gio, I got a question actually for Gio and Adam. Alright, go. About a week ago, we were partying, and it got to be really late, about 4 o'clock in the morning, and this girl did a strip show for me and my friends. And then she went into the back room with one of my buddies, and they called me in there. And so I went back there, and loaded and not thinking right. And he was on one end, and I got on the other end, and I started noticing a really bad stench, and I just went with it. And then probably a couple of days later, I started developing a rash down in my genital area.

1:15:20 Adam Which end were you on though?

1:15:21 Caller I was in the back end.

1:15:24 Adam Right.

1:15:25 Drew Wait a minute.

1:15:26 Adam Well, wait a minute. You don't mean back, you don't mean...

1:15:28 Drew Back end, back end.

1:15:29 Caller I didn't give a shit about the butt. I mean, I was...

1:15:31 Adam Right. He was getting a BJ.

1:15:33 Caller Yeah.

1:15:33 Adam And so, you just came in the back way.

1:15:36 Caller Yeah.

1:15:36 Adam But not the back side.

1:15:37 Caller Right.

1:15:38 Adam Got it.

1:15:40 Caller Right.

1:15:40 Adam Now, what was... So, and you notice the smell.

1:15:42 Caller Yeah. I noticed the sten.

1:15:43 Drew Well, the smell is usually trichomonas, and that's not a big deal, but that's something you may need to be treated for. But the rash, is it painful rash, burn?

1:15:52 Caller I mean, it itches.

1:15:53 Drew That's usually herpes, still proven otherwise.

1:15:55 Caller I don't know, shit.

1:15:57 Adam Watch the S-word there, Ryan, please.

1:15:59 Drew So you need somebody to look at that rash while you have the rash. It's important because that kind of, you know, you can't make any diagnosis unless you can actually look at the rash.

1:16:07 Caller Okay.

1:16:08 Adam And Drew, what about taking a picture of whatever rash you have and have?

1:16:11 Drew Yeah, that's the next best thing.

1:16:13 Adam Isn't it?

1:16:13 Drew Yeah.

1:16:14 Adam I mean, what's wrong with that?

1:16:14 Drew The age of digital cameras, you can put it out on the web, and email it to Adam, and send it out to your friends.

1:16:19 Adam Yeah, no.

1:16:19 Drew You know, that's an interesting idea. That's how we should overcome my problem with these people asking questions. They should take a digital picture, email it to us. And...

1:16:28 Adam Drew, let me explain something. We can't get paper for the goddamn fax machine. Do you really think you're going to pull this off?

1:16:36 Drew Right, but this is a plan, isn't it?

1:16:38 Adam It's a fine hypothetical plan.

1:16:40 Caller It's good you're trying to work out your own problems.

1:16:43 Drew No, no. To help the needy.

1:16:45 Caller That's what I...

1:16:46 Drew With the digital camera.

1:16:47 Guest He's got a fixation on bloated penises.

1:16:51 Caller You just want to help.

1:16:52 Guest No, no. Yeah.

1:16:53 Drew We just get loads of questions about rashes. And I can't... They're like, well, it's a rash. I'm like, oh, okay.

1:16:59 Caller I've had it for two weeks. Haven't you seen it yet?

1:17:00 Guest A rash by any other name.

1:17:02 Drew It still smells sweet.

1:17:04 Guest Is there another more common name for this first thing that you mentioned, the smell or the fancy name?

1:17:09 Drew Trichomonas. Trich. People call it Trich. That's a real common STD. It doesn't have any consequence, just a bad smell.

1:17:15 Adam Can it be passed to a guy?

1:17:16 Drew Yes. Guys get no feeling of that, though. They'll just pass it on to a girl.

1:17:19 Adam So just a jerk. So it just hangs around and they just pass it on.

1:17:22 Caller How do we live with ourselves?

1:17:23 Drew The protozoan. Emily?

1:17:27 Yes.

1:17:27 Adam You're 22.

1:17:28 Drew You're feeding the kitty? You cat okay?

1:17:31 Yeah.

1:17:32 Adam What's up?

1:17:34 Can I just say a couple things before my question?

1:17:36 Drew Hurry.

1:17:37 Okay, I just want to say 311, your album is sheer bliss. Thank you. It's awesome. Blows my mind, all yours do. They're all great. Anyways, I'll get to my question. I have tons of guys stare at me and they get hurt because of it. A while ago, a guy...

1:17:57 Caller Wait, what?

1:17:58 Adam They get hurt?

1:17:59 Drew It's like some out of a Jerry Lewis movie.

1:18:01 Adam Are they walking into...

1:18:02 Guest You're so good looking, they get hurt.

1:18:04 Adam They walk into lamp poles?

1:18:05 Yeah, I was driving and this one guy got in a really bad accident and I called the cops and ambulance and stuff, but he's really hurt, you know.

1:18:14 Adam Okay, but listen, that could have happened to anybody.

1:18:17 Well, no, like everywhere I go, there's like guys trying to buy me stuff, like...

1:18:22 Drew Alright, we're on the radio, so help us understand what's going on here.

1:18:25 Well, this guy like...

1:18:27 Drew No, no, no, you tell us what's going on here. What's going on?

1:18:31 I just don't want people to get hurt because there's been like five different times that people have gotten hurt and I'm trying to... I don't know what to avoid it, I know...

1:18:39 Adam Alright, the only thing you can do is, because I've injured a lot of people with my beauty and I know what a burden it is. It's a cross, a beautiful people have to wear. Yeah, it's tough, not to mention the gays. I've killed many gays, meottas, wrapped around telephone poles. You're going to have to injure yourself in an industrial type accident.

1:19:00 Drew Of course, she could come to Los Angeles, no one would notice her.

1:19:03 Adam You're calling from Kentucky?

1:19:05 Yes.

1:19:05 Adam Well, how are you injuring people? Is it your beauty?

1:19:09 Well, people look at me and they get hurt, like get an accident.

1:19:12 Drew Hey Emily, we can't see you, so you've got to help us out here and be honest.

1:19:15 Well, I just...

1:19:16 Drew Are you freakishly unusual looking?

1:19:18 No, I mean, I'm a regular brown haired, blue eyed, regular proportional body. I don't know what the deal is. Like people come and they look over at me while they're driving or...

1:19:31 Guest This would be the time to send a picture like you're sending an email.

1:19:36 Adam Yeah.

1:19:37 Drew Do we have an email address?

1:19:38 Adam No.

1:19:39 Drew We don't have an email address.

1:19:40 Adam No.

1:19:40 Drew How bizarre is that?

1:19:41 Adam All right. Drew, what do you want?

1:19:44 I mean, I've done a little bit of modeling and stuff, but still the agents didn't notice me, but all the guys around here sit here and like...

1:19:54 Adam Emily, we understand. What's the real problem? What's up with you? Are you retarded? What's up with you? You're scared? Oh, please. You know what this is? It's the female version of the male call. Yes, I can't ride a bicycle. My Johnson is so big, I cannot ride a bicycle. What should I do?

1:20:15 Caller I'm so good at basketball.

1:20:16 Guest My wallet is too fat. Right.

1:20:19 Adam My eyes are so blue. I hypnotize people.

1:20:23 Drew Men stare. Men can't help themselves. They do. That's part of the male biology.

1:20:29 Adam I'm going to stare at this chick's boobs.

1:20:31 Drew That's part of what they look at. That disturbs women even more. They'll fetishize parts of women's body. They look. They stare. It's their own problem. If they stare while they're driving, it's not your fault. They're just going about your business.

1:20:43 Adam Emily, here's the way to cool these guys down. Start talking to them. I guarantee that will slow them down. Whatever erection they had will immediately go up their own ass.

1:20:53 Caller I'm nervous because I'm sitting here with 311 and you guys.

1:20:57 Adam It's a burden. I understand.

1:20:58 Drew This is Adam's burden.

1:21:00 Adam Don't go out during daytime hours. I think that's only logical.

1:21:05 Drew Do you dress provocatively?

1:21:06 Caller No. I wear jeans and t-shirts.

1:21:09 Caller You own a veil.

1:21:10 Drew By the way, do you have a t-shirt?

1:21:11 Adam That could be provocative. How about a ski mask?

1:21:15 Drew Put a flannel shirt on.

1:21:16 Caller What city is it in Kentucky?

1:21:18 Drew Lexington.

1:21:19 Caller Lexington. That's where you were born there? That's where Chad was born.

1:21:22 Drew Really? That's where Adam's favorite airport is.

1:21:24 Adam Yeah. The one that's really in Cincinnati.

1:21:26 Drew That's where we drove to Cincinnati. That's when you started yelling at me that everything was my fault.

1:21:32 Adam Yeah. Well, it was your fault. We had no business going to Kentucky. Jesus Christ.

1:21:38 Caller I say just wave as you're walking and mind your own business.

1:21:42 Adam If she was serious, she seriously has a problem. I mean, come on. Call it a radio show asking why you caused an accident.

1:21:48 Drew Maybe she was one. Some people blossom late in life. Maybe she really doesn't think of herself that way. All of a sudden, she...

1:21:54 Adam Listen, I hate her. I don't want to talk about her anymore. Layla.

1:22:01 Guest We don't hate you.

1:22:02 Adam We do. Yes, 311 hates us.

1:22:03 Guest No, we don't.

1:22:04 Adam Layla, you're 15.

1:22:06 Caller Yeah. Hey, Adam.

1:22:07 Caller Hey.

1:22:08 Caller What's up, Nick and Peanut? You guys rule.

1:22:12 Guest Thanks.

1:22:12 Caller I got you a new CD today and it kicked ass.

1:22:14 Guest Thanks.

1:22:15 Caller 311 is the best band in the world. I love you guys. I hope you're making music forever. And good luck on the Warped Tour. Okay.

1:22:22 Caller Thanks.

1:22:23 Caller Is that it?

1:22:23 Caller You're sweet.

1:22:24 Caller Thanks.

1:22:24 Guest Thanks.

1:22:24 Caller I have a question too. Okay. My question is, you know the enlarged show Detail 2?

1:22:30 Guest Yep.

1:22:30 Caller Well, I want to know how it's going to be different from the first one and like what kind of stuff is going to be on it.

1:22:36 Guest Well, if you have the new CD, you can put it in a computer and see the trailer that there's some highlights from that. You know, there's backstage things and, you know, we're going to go back further from before the last home video and also obviously newer stuff. And, you know, new live stuff, there's going to be, it's going to be on DVD, so there's going to be remixes and b-sides, and it's just going to be like all kinds of stuff for the 311 enthusiast.

1:23:03 Caller Cool.

1:23:03 Adam All right. So if you put this CD in your computer, it'll do something?

1:23:07 Guest Yes, like a miniature website basically that's only available on the CD, where there's interviews with the band and previews of the home video that's going to come out.

1:23:17 Adam Are other people doing that?

1:23:19 Guest Some, but we're really into that kind of stuff.

1:23:22 Adam Drew, we've had a lot of bands in here have been pushing CD's lately. Have you heard anything about this?

1:23:27 Drew No.

1:23:28 Adam Did you know about this?

1:23:29 Drew No.

1:23:29 Caller We're cutting edge, baby.

1:23:31 Adam Yeah, that's pretty impressive. All right. I'm never going to do it because I really don't know what to do with the computers, Drew will attest to, but I will listen to the CD in the traditional way.

1:23:41 Caller It'll just make a little icon on your screen and you just double click it and it'll just open up.

1:23:46 Adam I don't know what this screen is.

1:23:47 Caller Just like you said, it'll blossom later in the night.

1:23:48 Drew What's clicking?

1:23:49 Caller Marissa?

1:23:51 Drew What's going on? She's 18.

1:23:53 Caller Well, when I masturbate, I masturbate strictly through clitoral stimulation and I was wondering if I'd be able to have an orgasm ever through vaginal stimulation like having sex.

1:24:06 Drew It's hard to say. It's a good question. If a woman can masturbate just with manual stimulation of the clitoris, does that predict anything about her ability to have orgasm during vaginal intercourse?

1:24:17 Adam Well, you mean does it affect it?

1:24:19 Drew No, no. Does it predict anything? In other words, does that mean she just will be needing direct...

1:24:23 Adam Well, but she hasn't tried vaginal stimulation, perhaps.

1:24:27 Well, I did once.

1:24:28 Adam You did?

1:24:28 Caller I did once, but I didn't orgasm.

1:24:30 Adam How did you provide that stimulation?

1:24:33 Well, I mean, I had sex once.

1:24:34 Adam Oh, one time? Yeah.

1:24:37 Drew Did he give oral sex to you?

1:24:39 Caller Yeah.

1:24:39 Drew And did that work?

1:24:40 Caller Yes.

1:24:41 Drew Okay, so she's going to be one of those.

1:24:42 Adam Well, she's 18. How many women?

1:24:44 Drew That's good at 18, right?

1:24:46 Adam You're ahead of the game.

1:24:48 Drew You're ahead of the game.

1:24:49 Adam Whatever game? What game is that again?

1:24:50 Drew The orgasm game.

1:24:51 Adam I see. I got to get that. Who does that? Hasbro? Parker Brothers?

1:24:55 Drew Parker Brothers. Parker Brothers, right. It's a little Monopoly board like thing. Imagine the little figures.

1:25:02 Adam All right.

1:25:03 Drew So the fact that you're able to do this is good. You're ahead of your peers. The fact that you can even have orgasm at all in a physical interaction is ahead of your peers actually. Whether or not you will or will ever have orgasm during intercourse remains to be seen. Many women don't.

1:25:17 Adam But the fact that she only has had sex one time.

1:25:21 Drew Doesn't predict anything.

1:25:22 Adam Does not. Because I'm sure the guy was just some kind of drunken load, right?

1:25:26 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:25:27 Adam He didn't do anything right, did he?

1:25:29 Caller Not really.

1:25:30 Adam No. So you got to get with a guy who knows what he's doing.

1:25:33 Drew A guy like Adam.

1:25:34 Adam A guy like me, you know, when I was in my late teens, early 20s. Like one day the ghost of Adam will give you a good working over. The ghost of Adam passed. And you'll be brought right to orgasm. You know my problem really, I got to be honest, sexually is motivation.

1:25:52 Drew You don't care.

1:25:53 Adam I can do a good job. It's just like work. It's just like everything with me now. I could do a good job on this radio show. I could do a good job sexually. Why bother? You know, that's the way I look at it. I'm tired.

1:26:04 Caller Revolution of lowered expectations.

1:26:05 Adam Right. Right.

1:26:07 Caller Watch out for that.

1:26:08 Adam Right. I'm going to ramp everything down just a little bit. And it works. It really does because like I wear to work. I go to the man show every day. I wear sweatpants, no socks, some flip-flops and like a band t-shirt. Right.

1:26:22 Drew That's dressed up.

1:26:23 Adam No, that's my everyday attire. But the one day I put on a pair of jeans, people are like, hey, there's a buzz.

1:26:29 Caller Ooh la la.

1:26:30 Adam Where's he going?

1:26:31 Caller Mr. French man. Yeah.

1:26:33 Adam I'm like Aldo Shelley rolling through there. Yeah. They're like, hey, you got a date? You got a business thing? Where are you going to the Oscars?

1:26:40 Guest I want to go to Levi's.

1:26:41 Adam Yeah.

1:26:42 Caller It's a big deal.

1:26:43 Adam Now, every other guy there is wearing jeans, but I have lowered the expectation sufficiently. Good man. Just so that nothing seems like something. And I suggest you all do the same.

1:26:55 Drew Nice.

1:26:55 Adam Start getting Ds and Fs, okay? You come home with a C, your parents will be elated. You understand? Right, Drew?

1:27:02 Drew Good times.

1:27:03 Adam All right. 311 is here. From Chaos is the name of the new CD. We'll hear something off of that when we come back.

1:27:46 Hi, this is Billy from Green Day, and you're listening to Loveline.

1:27:52 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. Peanut and Nick Hexham are both here from 311.

1:27:58 Guest And we just learned that all the money goes to charity. We just want to give K-Rock props for that.

1:28:02 Adam That's right.

1:28:02 Drew Go to Aids Walk Orange County, Al Wooten Jr. Heritage Foundation, Heal the Bay and Surf Rider Foundation.

1:28:08 Adam Right. What is the Al Wooten Jr. Heritage Foundation? Don't know.

1:28:13 Guest I wouldn't know.

1:28:15 Adam You think it's an offshore count that Kevin Wetheling, Tripp Reeb whipped up or? Yeah. He thinks it's actual.

1:28:21 Drew Al Wooten Jr. Heritage Bahamas.

1:28:23 Guest There you are.

1:28:26 Adam All right. Anyway, you can find 311 at the famous Weenie Roast over here at the Mother Station K-Rock coming up this Saturday, and then Warped Tour, and then their own tour. So in a city near you. From Chaos is the name of the new CD. We'll take one call, and then we'll go to the song. What do you say? Yeah. Amanda?

1:28:46 Yeah.

1:28:47 Adam You're 15? What's up?

1:28:48 Caller Well, I have this weird way of orgasming. I like wrap my legs around. Like, you know how girls, like...

1:29:00 Drew Around a penis?

1:29:01 Caller Huh?

1:29:02 Guest Around what? Around each other?

1:29:03 Caller Yeah. You know how girls cross their legs?

1:29:06 Drew Yeah. Right.

1:29:07 Caller I do it again. And so I put my foot that's on top under my thigh. Or my, um...

1:29:13 Guest Your foot that's on top under your thigh.

1:29:16 Drew Okay.

1:29:17 Adam Got it. Right.

1:29:17 Caller Right.

1:29:19 Caller Do you get on the same?

1:29:19 Drew Yeah.

1:29:20 Adam You sit on it.

1:29:21 Drew Yeah. And what's the question?

1:29:22 Caller I don't... Well, I'm on my side, though.

1:29:25 Drew Yeah. We got you.

1:29:27 Caller And I just keep my brothers around so I don't have to be quiet, okay? Well, I, um... I'm on my side on my bed and I just squeeze my thighs together.

1:29:37 Adam And you have an orgasm?

1:29:39 Caller Yeah.

1:29:39 Adam How long does it take you? How long does it take you to do that?

1:29:42 Caller Probably... probably ten minutes.

1:29:46 Adam Really? Yeah.

1:29:48 Guest You're a lucky girl.

1:29:49 Adam Yeah. It's pretty good, especially if you're on the road or something. But ten minutes, is it really ten minutes? Because that's kind of a long time to be in a sort of locked position.

1:30:00 Caller Maybe it's... I don't know. I'm not sure. Maybe probably between probably five and eight minutes.

1:30:08 Adam All right. So like Stairway to Heaven, that length?

1:30:13 Caller Yeah.

1:30:13 Adam You know what that is. Led Zeppelin. Rockman.

1:30:18 Caller Stairway to something.

1:30:19 Adam Okay. So hey, that's good, right?

1:30:21 Drew That's a good thing, Adam.

1:30:23 Caller Yeah. Is it okay? I've done it probably since I was in fourth grade.

1:30:25 Drew It's great. You're doing fine.

1:30:27 Adam Fourth grade? Orgasms in fourth grade?

1:30:30 Caller No. But I did that position, everything.

1:30:32 Drew That's good. That's fine.

1:30:33 Caller I'd say just don't cut off the circulation to your legs and you're set.

1:30:37 Adam What got you in that position though without the orgasm is sort of the payday.

1:30:41 Drew It's still stimulating.

1:30:42 Caller I'm not sure.

1:30:43 Drew Still, we felt good to her.

1:30:44 Guest I'm sorry. I can't picture it. I don't understand what she's doing.

1:30:47 Drew She's just bringing her legs over one another and just squeezing their thighs together.

1:30:52 Adam Are you a virgin? Yeah. Right. Sure. Who's going to get in there? Couldn't get in there with a slim gym. All right. All right, Amanda. Good times.

1:31:02 Caller Hey, and 311, you guys rock.

1:31:04 Caller Thank you.

1:31:05 Caller Could you tell my friend Kyle hi?

1:31:07 Caller Kyle.

1:31:08 Guest Hi, Kyle.

1:31:09 Caller From our deepest innards, hello.

1:31:12 Adam All right, Amanda.

1:31:13 Caller Thanks a lot.

1:31:14 Adam Good times there, baby.

1:31:16 Caller Bye.

1:31:16 Adam All right. We will hear a little something from 311. You got it queued up there, Anderson? This one is called You Wouldn't Believe. God goes wild. From Chaos is the name of that CD. Another good song from 311. It is out today, right? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm freaking out. But the last few bands we've had in here, I think Pennywise and Dave Navarro had their CD coming out.

1:35:21 Drew Like the next day or something.

1:35:22 Adam Today. Yeah. But I got used to saying it's coming out tomorrow, the next day or whatever it is. 311 here this time, CD out today.

1:35:29 Drew Also, we just completed an intense lecture about the male anatomy.

1:35:33 Adam Yeah. Kind of nice. Very informative.

1:35:35 Caller You're shocked. I can see it.

1:35:37 Adam Now, you know what's great about me? I retain no information. So each time Drew shows me something, even if it's for the 30th time, it's brand new. Everything's brand new for me.

1:35:47 Caller I got that same thing going on.

1:35:50 Adam It's great. I walk into my house every night and go, hey, nice spread. What's going on? I wonder what's in the fridge. Hey, this guy's got porn and beer. All right. We'll take a break. We'll be back. Hey y'all, another fabulous episode of Love Line Deep, Deep, Deep in the Earth. I want to thank Travis, 311, Deftones, Cypress Hill, Third Eye Blind. Boy, it's always better when we're not here.

1:36:40 Guest God.

1:36:42 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying, mahalo.

1:36:47 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, December 23, 2001