Episode 1000754886900

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Visibly disgusting.

1:15 Drew I woke up this morning, and literally, I swear to you, Adam, the thought I had was of the Hindenburg and the guy announcing the Hindenburg disaster.

1:24 Adam Oh, the humanity!

1:25 Drew No! Yes, that is how I feel when I hear about people doing crap like that.

1:29 Adam All right. Well, that's good times there.

1:32 Drew There you go.

1:32 Adam John, Old School, Aaron, and Mike are all here from Stained. We will...

1:38 Drew Yeah.

1:39 Adam Look at that. Yeah. That cheap of blunts. I didn't even see the button.

1:42 I didn't see the button. Where was the button that you just... That was pretty good.

1:46 That was hot.

1:47 Adam All right. Drew?

1:48 Yeah.

1:48 Adam Are you ready to go here? You guys know the trail, right?

1:52 My name is Lindsay.

1:53 Adam Lindsay. Off to a flying start. And you're 20, right?

1:58 Caller Yeah.

1:59 Adam What's up there, Lindsay?

2:01 Caller Well, I'm just kind of having a problem. I've been dating this guy for like three weeks. And every time we have sex, he either can't stay hard or get soft and we can't finish.

2:12 Drew How long have you been dating him?

2:14 Caller Like three or four weeks.

2:15 Adam Where does he get soft? Where's his penis? In you?

2:19 Caller Yeah.

2:20 Adam Oh, that's a bad sign.

2:21 Caller I know.

2:22 Adam Because there's a lot of guys who can't get it going. They're nervous or whatever. But once they get in, everything, you know, it's like a whole world.

2:30 Guest It should work.

2:31 Adam Instincts kick in.

2:32 Guest Right.

2:32 Adam Adrenaline starts flowing and eyes roll in the back of your head. Right. Like a shark when it's attacking.

2:37 Caller And the next thing you know, you're quivering and done.

2:39 Adam That's right.

2:40 Caller But right. That's how it's always been when I've had sex with guys. So this is like a totally new problem to me.

2:46 Caller You're fat.

2:47 Adam Drew, please. Is it true, Emily?

2:50 Caller Lindsay.

2:51 Adam Oh, me? No, Lindsay.

2:52 I'm sorry.

2:54 Adam I'm reading the screen. I got to look down.

2:57 Caller 220, 221.

2:58 Drew So anything we know about this guy, is he on medication?

3:02 Caller No.

3:02 Caller Is he?

3:03 Caller He said he was. And I asked him if he did drugs and he said no. Well, he doesn't make cases.

3:06 Drew They all say no. Has he ever had this problem before?

3:09 Caller He said no. And so I always say, well, I feel like it's me.

3:12 Drew But it's never.

3:13 Caller No, it's not you. It's not you. It's not you.

3:15 Drew It's never the woman. It really isn't. Really. Think about it, Adam. No, no, no. Essentially, no. No. Yeah. It's something about his feelings about you. Either he's overwhelmed by this or he's anxious about it. Something about the interaction is bugging him. And the best thing for you to do is just give an opportunity to talk about it, not when you're in the bedroom.

3:33 Adam Well, wait a minute. Can his penis be resuscitated after it comes out?

3:38 Drew Mouth to mouth.

3:38 Adam Can you put the paddles on it and bring it back to life?

3:41 Caller Well, like once he lost the erection and then he got it back.

3:47 Guest Has he ever finished?

3:48 Adam He got it back?

3:49 Caller Yes.

3:50 Adam Same erection or different erection? New erection?

3:52 Caller A new erection.

3:53 Adam Where do all the old erections go? Are they gone or is that one you keep rediscovering? Drew, how does that work medically? New erection? New?

4:02 Drew Same penis, same erection.

4:03 Adam But is it like a fart in the sense that once it's gone, it's gone, you got to make a new one?

4:08 Drew No, you don't need to make a new one.

4:10 Adam I do, yeah. So did we help Lindsay at all?

4:14 Drew No, not at all.

4:16 Caller Is there enough foreplay to begin with to where he's all ready to go when you start?

4:21 Caller Yeah, like I think we're both totally turned on.

4:24 Drew Have you ever been able to? Has he ever been able to? Has he finished? Yeah, has he ever been able to finish? Exactly.

4:28 Caller Yeah, he's finished like three times. That's like five or six times.

4:32 Through intercourse?

4:34 Caller But he's losing it as he's finishing?

4:36 Caller Yeah, he goes flat before he finishes.

4:37 Is that the usual?

4:39 Drew Well, listen, this is three weeks into this relationship. It may just be the newness, the anxiety. Who knows? Well, that's when it's best.

4:47 Adam For some guys...

4:48 Maybe you're the reverse.

4:50 Adam I don't know how many guys... I don't know how it breaks up. And I don't know where the mark is. Usually the first couple of encounters, let's say, first, second, third, most guys are trying to find their groove a little bit. Then comes the sweet spot. Then you're in it. That's the sweet spot. It's like when you buy a new car, you're a little nervous. You don't want to scratch it. You're not sure where the wipers are. You can't figure out the stereo. Then comes the sweet spot. That's that spot where it's still new, but you know it and you're driving hard. Driving hard. Then comes the... I'm bored.

5:27 It's an old slipper.

5:28 Adam Yeah. I think I'm just going to give it to a charity or my kid brother. Maybe I'll just torch it and collect it.

5:35 See a new car driving by and you go, wow, that's a nice car. Yeah.

5:39 Adam Look at that guy. He's right in his sweet spot.

5:41 That's right.

5:42 Adam He just figured out the wipers. I wonder if he let me borrow it. Yeah. Were we talking about cars or were we talking about chicks?

5:51 I don't know, but that was an excellent analogy there.

5:53 Adam Right. So he should be getting into that sweet spot and it takes guys a little while to figure that out, but he should be in there by now.

6:02 Drew Or this may be a chronic problem for him. Some guys have this problem.

6:05 Adam Yeah.

6:05 Drew It could very well be.

6:06 Guest It's a little blue pill, isn't there?

6:08 Adam Yeah, what about that?

6:09 Drew Sometimes a bag will be helpful for this.

6:10 Adam James?

6:11 Yes.

6:11 Adam You're 27?

6:13 Caller Yes, I am.

6:13 Adam What's up?

6:15 Caller I've got a question about oral sex. The question is, you know, I enjoy doing it a lot. And the question is, how can I stop it from tickling so much?

6:32 Drew She doesn't like it basically.

6:33 Caller Excuse me?

6:34 Drew She doesn't like it basically, right?

6:36 Caller She likes it. It's just to the point where she says it tickles too much. Stop.

6:41 Caller You got to slow down a little bit.

6:44 Caller Well, I've tried everything. Slow, you know, doing it different ways. She just, you know, it gets to the point where she says just stop.

6:54 Drew Does she have orgasms?

6:56 Adam Oh, yeah.

6:56 Caller There's no problem with that.

6:58 Drew When?

6:58 Adam Now she's faking it. She wants him to get rid of it.

7:01 Caller Well, probably she is.

7:02 Adam Hey, you want to use my carpet bombing technique? That's where I take out the whole village with my tongue. It's not like it's not where I try to assassinate the clitoris. I take out the whole goddamn city.

7:16 Drew The countryside.

7:17 Adam Yeah, that's it.

7:18 Guest You're going to share that with everybody, huh?

7:20 Adam Yeah, I did. And I just pow. That's it. I cover everything.

7:24 Caller They must love that.

7:24 Adam No one can escape. The vagina can't breathe when I'm. They do breathe through that, right?

7:30 Caller Of course.

7:32 Yeah.

7:34 Caller So where's the hell? There you go.

7:37 Adam That's what it sounds like.

7:41 Guest Oh, I think it would be more like, what the hell are you doing?

7:44 Drew Yeah, James, does she have orgasms during intercourse?

7:48 Caller Oh, yeah, there's no problem there. Maybe she's faking those too, though.

7:52 Drew Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you're continuing to give her oral sex after she's had an orgasm?

7:59 Caller No, you know what? I think she gets to that point, and she just tells me to stop.

8:03 Drew Yeah, we'd have to talk to her, James.

8:05 Adam Well, it becomes kind of overwhelming at a certain point.

8:08 Drew Who knows? Some women are afraid they're going to pee. Some women have already had an orgasm, it's too sensitive.

8:12 Caller That's what she tells me. She's afraid she's going to pee. All right.

8:15 Drew Well, there you go. And what do you tell her when she says that?

8:20 Caller You know, I tell her, I enjoy doing this for you. You know, I want to keep doing it. But if she tells me to stop, you know, I've got to stop.

8:27 Drew You don't tell her to let it rip if she has to pee?

8:29 Caller Have her pee all over your face.

8:31 Caller I ain't down for that. All right.

8:33 Drew Well, then she's not going to let you do that.

8:34 Guest I can't say as I blame you.

8:35 Caller But if she doesn't, then you've proved her wrong. And then she might let you get you.

8:40 Adam You've called her bluff. Called her bluff.

8:42 Guest All it's going to take is a mouthful of pee one time.

8:45 Adam Right. We could handle that.

8:46 Caller Isn't that medically sterile?

8:47 Adam Yeah.

8:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

8:49 Caller So you're not going to, you know.

8:50 Adam Yeah.

8:51 Caller True.

8:51 Adam I mean, if we were on a lifeboat somewhere, we would drink our own urine, right?

8:55 Drew I would drink yours.

8:56 Adam Oh, and I would drink yours. Is that gay?

8:58 Drew Cheers.

8:59 Guest You're in a lot of trouble.

9:00 Caller That's survival.

9:01 Adam That's survival.

9:03 Caller Now, would you screw yourself up if you drank your own?

9:07 Caller What would be better?

9:10 Drew Drinking your own would be better because you want to not lose the fluid.

9:13 Adam Right.

9:15 Drew Whatever is trying to come out of you, you want to put back in.

9:17 Adam I would give him my pee when I give it to myself.

9:19 Drew Right.

9:19 Caller His pee might taste better.

9:20 Drew The problem is the urea that you're excreting in your urine, you put back in your body, and so you end up eventually becoming...

9:25 Caller Toxifying yourself.

9:26 Guest Somebody tried to tell me, you're not a real man.

9:28 Let's taste your own juice.

9:29 Guest I don't know if that's true or not.

9:31 Drew I'm not a real man.

9:32 Right here.

9:34 Drew Fake man.

9:35 Caller I took the zero on that one too, but...

9:39 Drew Yeah.

9:40 Adam You're 17?

9:41 Drew Yep.

9:41 Adam What's up? You're on with Stain.

9:44 Caller They made me give a specific question, but I just called to say hey to Stain.

9:48 Drew What's up, man? How you doing?

9:49 Dude, I'm doing fine.

9:50 Caller How you guys doing? Great.

9:51 Drew All right.

9:52 Caller Dude, you guys are like my favorite band, dude.

9:54 Drew Awesome.

9:54 Guest Thanks, man.

9:55 Caller Yeah, I went to Austin last year, but I'd so much rather see you guys.

9:58 Guest Oh, right on.

9:59 Yeah, problem.

10:01 Adam What's your sex problem?

10:02 Caller Me? I don't have a sex problem. Come on.

10:05 Drew This is a sex show.

10:06 Caller I don't have any.

10:07 Drew These guys from Springfield.

10:08 Caller You don't have any sex?

10:09 Drew You know, Springfield's famous for Adam.

10:10 Caller All right.

10:12 Caller That's cool, though. You know, that's that's not a very popular thing these days as far as the general population. Anyway, 17 and still a virgin. That's don't don't be ashamed.

10:25 Adam Hey, John, didn't you change your name to Hung and see if we can't lose that virginity? Yeah, I'll know.

10:32 Caller Maybe I'll give that a try sometime.

10:33 Adam Yeah, do that. Why not? One ladder. Your parents shouldn't mind.

10:37 Drew Springfield for the Basketball Hall of Fame.

10:39 They're building a new one. They're building a new one.

10:41 Drew It looks like a giant basketball.

10:43 Caller Because the first one brought so much revenue into the city.

10:47 Drew The other one looks like a mix between like the sports arena. Yeah, I went to Amherst College. You did? Yeah, I was right there. And I went back.

10:56 Adam But I didn't even know there was a basketball Hall of Fame.

10:59 Drew Oh, yeah.

11:00 Caller That's how much revenue it brought into Springfield.

11:02 There's a volleyball Hall of Fame in Holyoke, Massachusetts, 20 minutes away.

11:05 Adam Yeah, really. Shouldn't we get a Hall of Fame out here in LA somewhere? Don't we deserve one? Why do they got to be so far off the beaten path?

11:14 Drew Springfield is where basketball was invented.

11:15 Caller Yeah.

11:15 Caller And Holyoke is where volleyball was invented.

11:17 Guest Come on, John, by who?

11:20 Drew Dr. James Smith.

11:23 Caller Wow. Who the hell knew?

11:24 Drew He worked for the works of YMCA or something. Yeah.

11:26 Guest And he used to have like, wasn't it like an apple?

11:28 Drew He was looking for a winter sport for young men to keep them busy. No.

11:32 Caller So it was a peach basket. Well, the bottom cut out.

11:34 Drew But actually, the Hall of Fame is pretty cool. I mean, the exhibit. You know what? I've lived there, grew up, never been there. I went back for my 20th college reunion, and my kids wanted to go see the basketball Hall of Fame, which I'd been there for years, of course, never seen. Right. Right. And it was to their eyes.

11:46 Adam It was pretty cool. Oh, yeah. Five-year-olds love us. This one's smart.

11:49 Guest Amherst College is a good school.

11:51 Adam Oh, yeah. His parents got him in.

11:52 Drew Oh, yeah. He must have known somebody.

11:54 Adam Oh, they paid him. The ones that didn't know, they paid. Right. You know, I made this statement watching one of the NBA playoff games, and I stopped and I realized, holy Christ, I've become my grandmother. When I announced, they need to make the court bigger. Do you know that grandma statement when they go, they should raise the hoop. Yeah. Those tall guys stand in the middle. They hand them the ball and they promptly drop it down into the hole.

12:23 That's because you guys have Shaq.

12:24 Adam Right. Right. It's like, but I realize you got a bunch of guys now averaging, you know, the hell the guards are six, seven. You got a bunch of guys that are averaging, getting close to seven foot and not scrawny guys anymore. It used to be if a dude was over six, five, he was a bean pole. Right. Now, these guys are big dudes and there's ten of them lumbering down the court. And I was watching it from the, you know, sky cam kind of thing. And I realized they're running out of room. I mean, there's an extra thousand pounds on that court that was not there 50 years ago and another ten feet of height. And they're going to have to spread out a little bit. And I know it sounds, it really sounds like one of those grandma things. But don't they, don't they have to enlarge your basketball court soon enough?

13:12 Guest I assume they're getting more aggressive though.

13:13 Caller That's not a bad thing.

13:14 Drew All right, pops. You know, settle down.

13:16 Caller Oh, boy.

13:17 Adam I don't want them to raise the rim, but just widen it out about three feet and lengthen it like five feet. I think they need to do that. They're running out of space. Okay.

13:27 The end.

13:27 Adam No, I'm going on a one man crusade. Who's with me? Robert?

13:35 Yes, sir.

13:36 Adam Are you with me?

13:37 Is this?

13:38 Adam Yeah. Okay. I'm putting you down. You're 19. You're unrestained.

13:43 Caller Okay. Hey, I've been having a problem with my girlfriend. We'll be getting it on and everything and she'll go dry on me.

13:51 Drew How long before she dries up?

13:53 Caller Um, sometimes like five minutes.

13:56 Drew Five minutes or a little longer.

13:57 Caller Sometimes.

13:58 Well, sometimes she doesn't.

14:00 Caller Sometimes she does.

14:01 Caller Usually she does.

14:02 Drew Well, maybe, maybe she's done.

14:05 Caller Well, she doesn't like say anything. She like last night, she ended up like stopping because it hurt so bad.

14:11 Drew Yeah. Well, let me just cause she's done.

14:13 Adam Well, did she have an orgasm?

14:16 Drew Well, still, she might be done. She might be able to have one during intercourse.

14:20 Adam Are certain guys, do they mop up more moisture than other guys?

14:25 Drew No.

14:26 Adam What about a sponge penis?

14:28 Drew Yeah. Sponge Bob. Yeah.

14:30 Caller I think certain guys don't take enough time before they don't warm up to warm it up before they go trouncing.

14:37 Drew I will tell you what, most women, ten minutes is about where they said five minutes. But after ten minutes, for most women, all that means is, Ouch. It means it dry up. Ouch.

14:48 Adam What about a wouldn't a bigger penis dry up a vagina faster because pulling out more surface area, more surface area? Yeah. I mean, look at it. Pinky into a glass of water. Oops. Well, Christ, I shouldn't have done it.

15:03 Drew Thanks, dude. I got to drink that as opposed to putting your fist in.

15:06 Adam If you put your fist in, you'd get more water on your hand when you came out. Do you think the penis does that quicker? Yeah.

15:14 Maybe you're just too big.

15:15 Drew I don't think there's that big a difference. But is she this? Do you give her oral sex?

15:19 Caller Sometimes.

15:20 Drew Does she like that?

15:22 Caller She doesn't really want me to usually.

15:24 Adam Why not?

15:25 Caller I don't know.

15:26 Adam You do what I do, right? You don't really want me to go down on you, do you? Oh, they all want it better than that.

15:33 Caller Sometimes I prefer it more than the sex itself.

15:36 Adam You receiving it?

15:37 Caller No.

15:37 Adam Giving it?

15:38 Caller Yeah.

15:38 Adam Nonsense. No, you don't. Drew, get him a catheter.

15:41 I'm on that train too.

15:43 Adam Giving oral sex to women?

15:44 Caller I'll stay right on that train.

15:46 Adam To the woman?

15:47 Drew I know Adam.

15:48 Caller Hold on.

15:48 Adam Drew, stay out of this. My mom's not listening. More than getting oral sex yourself?

15:55 Caller Sometimes.

15:56 Drew Really? I'm kind of on that train too.

15:58 Guest Yeah.

15:58 Drew I've never told you this before. I'm sorry. I've got to come out of closet.

16:00 Guest Now they're coming out.

16:02 Caller There's nothing like an hour. There's nothing quite like the convulsions that are created from some good oral sex.

16:11 Caller But better?

16:12 Adam What if you were with a hooker?

16:14 Caller I couldn't say.

16:15 Adam Couldn't answer. But you'd get a BJ instead of going down on them, right?

16:20 Caller I wouldn't put myself in that situation.

16:22 Drew He doesn't. But you wouldn't do anything for him.

16:24 Adam Hypothetically, hypothetically, if you're with a woman for one night and you have your choice between you getting oral sex or you giving them oral sex, they'll start telling you you have low self-esteem if you say anything different. I think this is just radio rap.

16:39 Drew No, no, I believe.

16:40 Caller No, no, it's true.

16:41 Drew Really?

16:41 Adam You'd rather go down on the woman?

16:44 Drew Sometimes.

16:45 Adam Sometimes. Well, all right. One out of every 500 times.

16:47 Guest There's times where I mean, after after your hour down there, it's your turn, though.

16:51 Adam You know what I mean? It's like, OK, there are times when I'd like a glass of buttermilk, but it's really it's like once once every four or five years.

16:58 Caller You've got problems.

17:01 Adam I have very high self-esteem. I like someone blowing me almost all the time. It makes me feel better.

17:10 Caller I understand that.

17:11 Adam Yeah, I feel better about myself. All right. And Drew, that's what we ought to do. You know, they talk about these, you know, young, young kids and they don't feel good enough about themselves. We start telling them they're smart, but they get bad grades. We start telling them they're pretty, but they're fat and ugly. How about get someone to blow them all the time? That would be great. You want to get a young, young teenage boy to feel better about himself?

17:33 Guest Just they should have like a little closet in school. They can just set them down there.

17:36 Drew Right.

17:37 Guest And just get blown.

17:38 Right.

17:39 Drew That would be great. That's what school is missing. That's the plume closet.

17:45 Adam Joy?

17:46 Yeah.

17:47 Adam You're 19?

17:48 Caller Yeah.

17:48 Adam What's up?

17:49 Caller Yeah.

17:50 Caller I was taking a shower and I noticed I had this kind of like small little bump thing next to my vagina.

17:59 Drew Next to it?

18:00 Caller Yeah.

18:00 Drew On the outer lips?

18:01 Caller Yeah.

18:02 Drew That's usually a Bartholin cyst. It's usually a cyst. It's a gland that gets infected. And you take some hot baths in the meantime.

18:10 Adam That's on the outside, right?

18:11 Caller Yeah. I'm just all paranoid because my grandma just got diagnosed with cancer. So I just want to...

18:18 Drew Well, what did I just say it was?

18:20 Caller I know. Well, I'm just scared.

18:22 Adam Hi, Drew. The woman's dying. You're going to come down on her? No, I'm trying to make her last few days on the earth miserable. How old's your grandma?

18:31 Caller She's old, but I was just freaking out anyway.

18:34 Adam Yeah. All right. Oh, hold on. She's old? Yeah.

18:37 Yeah.

18:37 Adam Let me write that down.

18:38 Guest Grandma, old.

18:40 Adam OK. Well, that's a definitive answer for how old is your grandma? It's always nice when you can weave one of the words from the questions. Right.

18:49 Drew Grandmas go anywhere from like 37 to 87.

18:53 Adam We had a Mexican kid called the show the other day. His grandma was 19. And he was I think he was a sophomore in high school, wasn't he? 19, the grandmother. All right, Joy. Take care of yourself.

19:07 Drew Hot baths.

19:08 Adam You sit in that tub. Is that that sits bath?

19:11 Drew Yeah.

19:12 Adam It just sits. Just means you sit there. Is that what that is?

19:16 Drew You give me the dictionary. You know, it's S-I-T-Z. So I'm not sure.

19:20 Adam It's not the sits.

19:21 Drew I think I looked it up once before.

19:23 Adam Is a sits bath. Would you relax with the knowledge for one second? If Drew thinks for one hot goddamn second that there's something he could learn, he goes ballistic.

19:34 Drew Get out of his way.

19:35 Adam Yes. Give me the dictionary. He has such a thirst for knowledge.

19:39 Drew It's dis-sickening.

19:40 It is.

19:42 Adam Relax. You got to smoke weed, Drew. That'll slow down that thirst for knowledge.

19:49 Caller That'll slow down.

19:51 Adam It really does. You know why? Because you'll you'll relearn things you already learned and be thrilled with them.

19:58 Guest Forget it and learn it again later on.

20:00 Adam There's a certain thrill to doing that. It's like seeing a great movie, having a bong load, forgetting all about it, watching it again and being just as thrilled with it.

20:08 Drew Adam, this is interesting. First, there's a sits mark, a depression left in the snow by a skier falling backward.

20:15 Adam That makes sense.

20:15 Drew Then a sits creak, static or non-aggressive warfare, sitting war.

20:20 Caller Nice.

20:21 Adam So it's the opposite of the blitzkrieg.

20:23 Drew Then sits bath, a tub in which one bathes in a sitting position.

20:27 Adam All right, Drew, we've really enlightened the listener. Okay, so it's like a German word?

20:32 Drew Sitz is the act of sitting, German.

20:34 Adam Thank you. Holy Christ.

20:36 Caller I was wondering. I was wondering. Oh, what is that? Nothing.

20:40 Adam Drew, do you smell that?

20:42 Drew Is that over that end?

20:43 Adam Do you smell that? That's a smell of, that's some righteous herb there.

20:48 Do you smell that?

20:50 Adam You don't smell that?

20:50 Guest I thought it was a skunk.

20:52 Adam Holy Christ.

20:55 We got one ready to go.

20:56 Drew Unacceptable.

20:56 Adam Oh, my God. Drew, smell that. Wow.

21:01 Drew Catnip.

21:02 Adam That is some potty weed. Rayna, you're 16. What's up?

21:12 Caller I just want to say that I'm a huge Stain fan. You guys are awesome.

21:15 Caller Thank you, Rayna. Thank you.

21:16 Caller And I was wondering where the inspiration for It's Been A While came from.

21:21 Caller Just kind of looking back on life and realizing all the things that it was it had been a while since I had done.

21:28 Caller That's awesome. The video is really great, too.

21:30 Caller Thank you.

21:31 Caller Well, I have a question about my boyfriend and the situation that I'm going through right now.

21:38 Caller I've been with this guy for 14 months.

21:41 Caller And recently, like about last week, this guy that I met about a year ago also called me and showed interest in me. And I'm just not understanding what I should do because he's one of these guys is like 21, isn't he?

21:58 Drew How is the oldest guy?

21:59 Caller Oh, they're both 16.

22:01 Caller They're not. They're same age.

22:02 Drew Same age.

22:03 Caller But I just I'm not really interested in this guy. And I'm so comfortable with my boyfriend right now. But I need to I don't know how I should tell him that I'm not interested in him because he's a good guy.

22:14 Adam Wait a minute. Well, how did the guy resurface? Yeah. How did the guy resurface after a year?

22:19 Caller He just gave me a call.

22:21 Adam What do you have? You didn't have anything going with him, did you?

22:24 Drew Don't call him back.

22:27 Caller I've been talking and you just doesn't want to have sex with you.

22:31 Caller Oh, no, no, I'm a virgin. I'm not into that at all.

22:34 Adam Right. But you didn't have that windbreaker made up that said, I'm not into it. So most guys think you may be into it, which I'd like to have made up, save everyone some time. Lesbian windbreaker, not into it. So you know what, just to move right on. Jehovah's Witness.

22:51 Caller Thumbs it up right there.

22:52 Adam About ten good windbreakers. Narc, you know, whatever.

22:58 Caller You're lying to windbreakers.

22:59 That's a good idea.

22:59 Drew But Reina, maybe it's that you're really not that into your boyfriend, that you're sort of open to other people.

23:04 I like your questioning it.

23:07 Caller It's not that, because I do. But I just need to know how to tell this other guy.

23:11 Adam So tell him. You never did anything with the guy. Did you ever kiss him? Did you ever have anything?

23:16 Caller Well, I went to his homecoming last year.

23:19 Drew Last year, though.

23:20 Adam Yeah.

23:21 Drew You don't owe him anything right now.

23:23 Adam Yeah. Reina, it sounds to me like you're trying to stir things up a little bit. You know what I mean? Like you kind of like the attention.

23:31 Drew You're making something out of nothing.

23:33 Just tell him you have a boyfriend, you like him, but you're with somebody.

23:36 Drew Or just don't do anything. Just be busy.

23:39 Adam Yeah.

23:40 Drew All right.

23:40 Guest I'll shut up.

23:41 Adam Yeah. Do what women used to do to me.

23:46 Drew Just basically get them to come detail the van.

23:50 Adam Oh, yeah.

23:50 Drew Yeah.

23:51 Adam Get them to do stuff around your house. Mow the lawn, change the oil. I'm sure there's a fence that needs mending or a lawn that needs mowing. Couldn't you just ride him like a mule for a few months and then discard him like I was discarded by so many of you in high school? But if you're listening now, it's not so funny anymore, is it? No, it's not because I'm right. Oh, sorry, sorry, guys. Once in a while, I kind of lose it.

24:19 Guest Flashbacks.

24:19 Adam Hey, it's cool.

24:20 Guest It's cool.

24:21 Adam Right? Yeah. OK, so just tell me you're not interested, all right?

24:25 Drew Or don't tell me anything.

24:26 Adam Yeah.

24:27 Caller Now, be honest with me.

24:29 Drew It'd be courteous to sort of give them a close, but also not to call back, is that right?

24:33 Adam But, you know, if you tell a guy, hey, you know, she might do one of these like, listen, I got a boyfriend. I really like you. I have a boy. Drew, what would you hear if you were into her? Right.

24:43 Drew Keep calling. Don't leave it like a slot machine at that point.

24:46 Adam Yeah. Then you talk to your friends. You put that little spin on it. She said she had a boyfriend, but she was said she was into me. It was all in the inflection. And then you got your buddies going, dude, why would she say that? She wouldn't have said she was into you. Here's the deal. She feels guilty about having a boyfriend, so she don't want to make a move, but she said she was into you. She wants you to do something, man. Now, here's some duct tape and etherwag, dude. Go over to her house.

25:21 Drew But the deal is, guys also need to learn to interpret cues given up by women, right? Like, you know, the not interested cue, the I'm not calling you back cue, what that means, right? Get him break him into that stuff, too.

25:32 Caller Right.

25:32 Adam OK, we will take a break.

25:37 Caller Love Line will be right back. So get your problems ready, ready, ready.

25:43 Love Line on 94.7 NRK is brought to you by Car Toys and by the Cobalt Lounge. Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on 94.7 NRK.

26:10 Adam It is the Best of Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew. His friends know him as Dr. Jackass.

26:19 Drew How do you figure that?

26:20 Adam Oh, I've talked to them. It is the Best of Loveline.

26:24 Drew Got some friends of ours coming up next.

26:26 Adam Lincoln Park? Yeah. Isn't that a bummer when you have kids, though? You have to hang out with your kids, friends, family.

26:32 Drew No, it's a cool thing.

26:33 Adam You like anything to do with a wife and a wife, huh?

26:35 Drew No, I'm with the wife.

26:36 Adam I know, but distraction, distraction.

26:38 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Quite the contrary.

26:41 Adam Really? Good times. Chester Bennington and Brad Delson are both here from Lincoln Park, a band we like a lot. One of Drew's favorite new bands, I guess. I don't know what he's basing that on, not that there's anything wrong with the band.

26:56 Drew I believe both of us.

26:57 Adam Well, we like, yes, we do like Lincoln Park, but I like a lot of bands. You don't lay claim to too many bands. Lincoln Park is in your small stable of bands that you enjoy.

27:08 Drew You know what it is? We have a lot of bands that...

27:11 Adam You have a lot of bands you don't like.

27:13 Drew Yes.

27:13 Adam So you can safely say through process of elimination that you like Lincoln Park because you don't like Lincoln. You don't not like Lincoln Park.

27:23 Caller We feel very honored that you don't hate us.

27:25 Drew Yeah, don't hate you.

27:26 Caller Trying to turn that around by the end of the show.

27:27 Drew And we see a lot of bands come and go. And a lot with a lot of ones that come on with a lot of bravado and stuff and don't look like they're going to stay to me and don't.

27:35 Adam Yes.

27:36 Drew And these guys have been very nice, very understated, but very good. We appreciate it.

27:40 Adam Lincoln Park, that is.

27:41 Guest Yes.

27:42 Adam Yes. Hi, Brett. There is the name of the CD. You guys were on the show a few months back, right?

27:48 Guest Yeah, right.

27:48 Adam Been that long, right?

27:49 Yeah.

27:51 Drew But then again, not long after that, I think maybe. No, no, no.

27:54 Adam That's what I thought.

27:56 Guest We're all confused here because we all think it was like last weekend. Yeah, we were here, but, you know, we're all wrong on that one.

28:02 Adam Time flies when you're plotting your own death.

28:05 Guest Right.

28:05 Adam That's what my grandfather used to say. Very macabre. Yeah, he's a macabre guy. Almost double platinum. That's good. They're just another two million albums away from going double platinum.

28:20 Guest Yeah, we've officially gone plastic this week, as a matter of fact.

28:22 Adam You know, I would say, you know, it would be a good thing to do, like, if I was managing a band, no matter how many records they sold, they sold like five.

28:29 Caller You'd say almost double platinum.

28:31 Adam Yeah, I would say I'd say double. I'd skip. And that way wouldn't like wouldn't be like I lied. People would do the math, assume they at least went platinum.

28:40 Caller Yeah.

28:40 Caller You're almost double platinum.

28:45 Caller Yeah.

28:46 Adam You're 15. What's up?

28:48 Caller OK, first of all, I want to say, oh, my God, I love I love you guys so much.

28:53 Caller I'm so excited.

28:54 Caller I'm shaking. I'm like talking to Linkin Park.

28:57 Caller Oh, I thought you were talking about Adam.

28:59 Drew Yeah, we could tell it wasn't us. No, no, no.

29:02 Caller I'm kind of shaking too right now.

29:04 Drew Oh, my God.

29:04 Caller My heart is pounding so fast.

29:06 I'm going to cry.

29:07 Caller Whoa. Did someone do you know someone in the band? Someone pay you to call up and say that?

29:13 Yeah.

29:13 I swear to God.

29:15 Caller Oh, my God. I'm shaking.

29:17 Adam All right, baby, get over it.

29:18 Come on.

29:19 Adam They're no big deal.

29:20 Caller All right.

29:20 Adam It's not like they're space hogs.

29:21 Guest Yeah, really.

29:22 Caller I love you, too.

29:23 Guest Thank you.

29:24 Drew You got a gutter mouth or something.

29:25 Adam Yeah, gutter mouth or space. Hey, Mary, do you have a question? You got a question for the band?

29:29 Caller Yeah. No, not for the band. I'm with the band right now. All right.

29:33 Adam Honeymoon's over, fellas. Go ahead.

29:37 Caller Okay. I'm not sure if it was like four weeks, of course, or something like that. I had our usual counseling session and my friend brought up that she had gotten raped by her by her uncle and like but before that, she had asked like the counselor in the group to like swear not to say anything at all. And like the counselor was like, sure, you know, whatever. And after she told us, the counselor was like, OK, whatever. So the next the next meeting, she had said she had come to us and said, you know what, I have to call your mom and tell her. But this had happened when she was like six years old.

30:13 Adam Well, who's she? Your friend in the counseling group?

30:15 Drew The counselor.

30:16 Adam What counseling group?

30:18 Caller School Counseling.

30:19 Drew Yeah, your school counselor not only has to call the mom.

30:21 Caller She thinks we're crazy.

30:22 Drew She has to report the case. She has to report this. She has to.

30:25 Caller You know, that happened a long time ago and I don't see it right.

30:28 Drew There's no statute on that. He, the thinking being, among other things, that that uncle that did that is no doubt doing that to other kids to this day.

30:37 Adam Well, he could have just got it out of his system. And I doubt it.

30:40 Drew Doesn't work like that. And so, Mary, it is extremely, but it's important for your friend that her parents find out so she can get some treatment for this. And it's important that this get reported that this uncle can be taken to task.

30:51 Caller Oh, okay.

30:52 Adam Mary, Mary.

30:52 Drew It's important. It's really important.

30:54 Adam Why are you in this counseling group?

30:56 Caller Ah, they think we're crazy.

30:57 Adam I see. Yeah, they may.

30:59 Caller Who doesn't these days?

31:01 Adam Yeah, that's right.

31:02 Caller Crazy teenagers.

31:03 Adam Everyone's in a counseling group.

31:04 Caller You know, you're all smoking crack.

31:07 Adam All right, man. You've been mislabeled, right? Yeah. You don't smoke crack.

31:11 Caller No.

31:12 Adam No, you smoke heroin, right? You do speed, right? All right, baby. Don't get pregnant, all right?

31:19 Aw, damn.

31:20 Caller Too late.

31:21 Adam Did you?

31:23 Caller All right, good.

31:24 Adam Those legs crossed, all right?

31:25 Caller Okay.

31:26 Adam All right.

31:27 Drew Thank you.

31:27 Caller I love you guys.

31:28 Guest Bye.

31:29 Drew You know, these abstinence-only programs now, they send out, they give these little pamphlets about what evil, awful things will happen if you have sex, and they give you an aspirin you're supposed to hold between your knees.

31:38 Adam Really? Do they really give you an aspirin?

31:40 Guest That's evil.

31:41 Caller I thought it was Tylenol is more effective.

31:43 Drew Your government subsidizes to have an aspirin between your legs.

31:47 Guest I guess the condom isn't working. The free condom isn't working anymore. Now they're just giving out Tylenols.

31:53 Drew Good point. At least if the legs should come apart, there's a condom there.

31:57 Adam Yeah, springs are right out.

31:59 Guest Nice.

32:00 Adam All right. Well, those vaginal snakes never worked out that you were talking about, you know, the gag ones you put in the toffee cans.

32:06 Drew The gag vaginas?

32:07 Adam Yeah.

32:07 Drew They open the vaginas.

32:08 Adam Open the legs and the snakes come flying out. Scare away the would be suitors. That's a good idea.

32:12 Drew Strangely, didn't I do something like that at the Man Show?

32:15 Adam Flew out of the ants.

32:16 Drew Oh, that's right.

32:17 Adam Totally different. Sam?

32:20 Guest Yes. Yes. Good morning.

32:21 Adam Hey, you're 25. What's up?

32:22 Drew Yeah.

32:22 Guest Thanks for taking my call. Okay. Thursday night, my girlfriend and I had intercourse, as we have been for the last eight months. But Friday morning, she woke up with extreme pain in her vagina and some swelling and inflammation.

32:35 Drew That was after having had sex?

32:37 Guest It was the next morning.

32:38 Drew She just woke up with it like 8 a.m. Any cold sores or anything like that? No.

32:43 Guest No. But in the past, while we were having sex, I did one time feel a cyst or something in there, but it had gone away.

32:51 Adam What did you feel it with?

32:52 Guest With, you know.

32:53 Adam The penis?

32:54 Guest Yeah.

32:55 Drew No.

32:55 Adam Yeah. I don't know.

32:56 Drew No. You're not feeling it.

32:57 Guest Yeah.

32:57 Adam I wouldn't.

32:57 Guest I don't think my penis couldn't tell the difference between peanut butter and black She probably, she probably, you know, tightened up some weird way or something.

33:08 Guest Let me please tell you something else. She's been under a lot of stress. We've had some problems. She's been really upset lately. I don't know if that could affect the situation. And also during intercourse, like the vagina ends in it, you know, it gets a little rough. And I thought maybe I had bruised her or something.

33:22 Drew Yeah. I think it's more that if she was stressed, she probably wasn't into it. But she may have not have been lubricating normally. And you guys may have sort of irritated the area. But stress undoubtedly has something to do with it.

33:32 Guest Make sure you warm her up first.

33:34 Drew The other thing, well, but if she's stressed out.

33:36 Adam Well, a woman's vagina is like an old car, you mean. And every day is a snow day. You got to head down there and put a brick on the accelerator, choke it a little bit, get it going, then go back in the house, get dressed, eat your oatmeal. And then by the time you get back out, it's ready to drive to work.

33:52 Drew And if this continues more than a day or two, then by all means get a look at it. Because herpes can present like this sometimes too.

33:57 Adam Yeah.

33:58 Ouch.

33:59 Adam Yeah. Really?

34:00 Drew Yeah. Pain is well ensured.

34:02 Good times.

34:03 Drew You look worried. Aaron, no way this isn't both of us.

34:06 Adam What?

34:06 Drew No way this isn't both of us.

34:07 Adam This call?

34:08 Drew Let's see.

34:08 Adam What is it?

34:09 Drew Aaron, 16.

34:10 Guest Yes.

34:11 Drew What's up?

34:12 Caller Hi.

34:14 Guest Last Friday, I was over at my best friend's house. I was spending the night. And he was downstairs watching TV. And he's got this really killer stash of porn in his closet. And I was like just getting my pants down and his sister walked in on me.

34:36 Drew How old is sister?

34:38 Guest She's in seventh grade.

34:40 Drew And what's your question?

34:43 Guest I was wondering if I should say anything to my friend, because I mean, it's really stupid. And I know she told one of her friends.

34:51 Adam Yeah. You could be labeled.

34:54 Drew Labeled what?

34:55 Guest Oh, yeah, I'm labeled.

34:55 Adam Lefty. Yeah. My friend, my friend Ray walked in on another friend of mine's whacking off.

35:04 Drew Chris?

35:05 Adam No, it wasn't Chris. No, this is a guy claimed he didn't. So Ray hid in the closet until he did.

35:10 Drew He didn't walk in on him, he hid in the closet.

35:13 Adam He ambushed, he staked commandos.

35:15 Drew How many days did he wait in that closet?

35:17 Adam It was only a couple of hours.

35:19 Drew That's what I figured.

35:19 Adam It didn't take long.

35:20 Caller 20 pounds lighter.

35:21 Adam The point is Ray kicked open the door while this guy was mid stroke and started screaming. And mom, the guy, I hate to say the guy's, well, his name was Jackie. I talked about it.

35:32 Drew From then on, it was Jackie or was it actually his name?

35:34 Adam That was his actual name and it shifted to Smacky. And this was 15 years ago. It's still Smacky.

35:41 Guest Wow.

35:42 Adam So you can get a name. You can earn a name.

35:44 Guest I think that's the worst thing you can pick up from that situation.

35:47 Adam Yeah. Aaron?

35:49 Caller Yeah.

35:51 Adam You may want to tell your friend just so the sister doesn't tell mom and this spins out into something else.

35:57 Drew Right. Like you tried to molest or you exposed yourself to her.

36:01 Adam Or you were raping his pet turtle or something bizarre. Okay. Yeah. But I know what it's like though when you have a friend who's got a good porn collection. Like back.

36:10 Guest It's so tempting. Yeah.

36:12 Adam It makes you like the guy more, makes it easier to hang out, spend more time at his house.

36:17 Guest Definitely. Yeah.

36:18 Adam My buddy Zeb had a subscription to Playboy when I, when he was like in the ninth grade. Oh, huge score. I wasn't even whacking off yet. I still appreciated it. I knew something was waiting for me.

36:33 Drew How pathetic were we in the seventies? Yeah.

36:35 Adam I mean, we didn't have porn. Not like you kids.

36:38 Caller No, they're looking, they're barely alive. And they don't even.

36:41 Adam That's what I'm saying.

36:42 Drew They don't know what it's like. Look at the look on their face. Don't even understand what you're talking about. Why was Playboy.

36:46 Caller I've seen seventies on TV.

36:48 Drew Yeah. Why was the Playboy a huge score?

36:50 Adam I know because that no Internet, no videos, no nothing. No, no, no.

36:57 Drew You know, a must see TV. You know, I mean, even even network television now is more pornographic.

37:03 Adam Good example. You must see TV. Listen, I'm going to explain to my kids one day about the Pussycat Theater and about porno theaters. And I'm going to go, son, your father was alive in a time when men, hundreds of men, would show up under one roof and in front of one large screen, watch pornography together.

37:25 Guest There's something extremely wrong with that. Yeah.

37:27 Adam And they're going to go, why? Why? What was in it for you? I mean, what?

37:30 Drew No, no. Why don't you watch it at home? Men would gather in a ritual.

37:35 Guest Therapists should stand out front of those places and just hand cards out.

37:38 Drew No, that's all. There was nothing. No, no, no, you're staying.

37:41 Adam We had no choice. You want to see porn?

37:43 Guest That's true.

37:44 Adam You and three other guys get in there.

37:46 Guest Well, it's better than going with your friend to a hotel or something to.

37:49 Adam They had no, no, no choice.

37:53 Drew They don't they don't get it.

37:54 Caller No, there was only for order of peep show.

37:57 Adam The only porn that you could find was at the theater.

38:02 Guest That's disgusting.

38:03 Adam The the Pussycat Theater.

38:05 Drew Otherwise, otherwise, publication playboy.

38:07 Caller That was it.

38:08 Drew That was it.

38:08 Guest Yeah.

38:09 Adam Yeah. Screwed. Screwed. Now, now you kids are in great shape. Susie, do you remember me telling us to walk eight miles in the snow to see a charcoal drawing of a brass that you had done that I'd done earlier and then eight miles away? It was 16 miles round trip. Yeah. Susie.

38:30 Caller Yeah. Hi, Adam.

38:31 Adam What's up?

38:31 Caller First of all, I want to start off saying goodbye. I love you. Thanks. Okay.

38:36 Caller I want to know who's there from Lincoln Park because I didn't really catch on who was there.

38:39 Caller I heard Chester and Brad.

38:41 Right.

38:42 Caller We be it.

38:43 They be.

38:43 Caller First of all, I love you guys. And my little sister is totally in love with you, but she's not listening now because she has no idea you guys are on.

38:51 Caller But can you guys please give her a shout out for me?

38:54 Caller What's her name?

38:54 Caller Tina.

38:55 Caller Tina.

38:56 Caller Tina. Yeah.

38:57 Guest Hi, Tina, who isn't listening?

39:00 Caller Thank you so much.

39:00 Caller Oh, I have a question.

39:01 Adam I'm sure that'll make her hypothetical day when you explain that even though she never heard it.

39:07 Caller Tell her we were even more charming.

39:09 Caller All right.

39:10 Adam Do you want them to leave an outgoing message on the phone machine she doesn't have?

39:14 Caller Yeah, sure.

39:14 Caller Why not?

39:17 Adam Why don't you tell Tina to listen? It's your sister, Tina. Yeah. Where is she?

39:24 She's like out with her friends.

39:26 Caller I don't know. Don't ask.

39:27 Caller OK, so watching the man show someone.

39:29 Adam Yeah. So she's not listening to the radio.

39:32 Caller No.

39:33 Adam All right. So we just gave a shout out to her.

39:35 Drew You see where Susie is from.

39:36 Adam You have an you have an unborn sister you'd like us to give a shout out to.

39:40 Drew Hey, Adam, Susie is from the Main Street.

39:42 Adam You're from North Hollywood.

39:43 Caller Yeah. Yeah, we actually went where you went to my school. And really crappy North Hollywood.

39:48 Adam Oh, that dump.

39:49 Caller Yeah.

39:50 Adam Get right out of there.

39:51 Caller Yeah, it's pretty bad, Adam. You know how I feel.

39:53 Adam Where do you live?

39:53 Caller I live in North Hollywood.

39:54 Adam I know. But where?

39:55 Caller Like on Beck.

39:58 Adam Yeah. You know, I get the crotch. Just give me the two big streets.

40:02 Caller You know, where's the victory?

40:05 Adam Oh, yeah. What else? What's the cross?

40:09 Caller Lancashire.

40:09 Oh, yeah.

40:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Great area. Oh, that's bad times. Bad times. Yeah. Oh, my God. I never thought I'd say this, but you've got to you've got to step up to Van Nuys.

40:20 Oh, please.

40:21 Adam That's a bad sign.

40:22 Drew Deeper to North Hollywood.

40:23 Yeah.

40:24 Adam All right, Susie.

40:25 Caller No, no, no.

40:25 I have a question. All right.

40:26 Drew We need to be nearer the freeway.

40:28 Caller Yeah.

40:28 Caller What inspired you guys to write Carousel?

40:33 Caller And why wasn't it like on the CD? Because I thought that was like such a good song. And I was wondering how come you guys didn't decide to put it on Hyper Theory?

40:40 Guest Well, we have like about 40 songs. At that time, we had about that many songs to choose from. And so we had to painstakingly make those decisions. But unfortunately, it didn't get on there. But I think what Carousel was about was just um, well, I haven't thought about this one in a long time. I forgot we even wrote that song.

41:04 Caller I wish Mike Schnoda were here. He's the smart one in our group.

41:06 Guest Yeah, he actually wrote that song.

41:08 Adam Well, just say it was about an actual Carousel.

41:11 Caller It was actually about, I think it was about people. He actually talks about different characters in each verse, and each of them is kind of going around in circles and not really being able to break the cycle of personal problems.

41:24 Guest It could almost relate it to like a person addicted to something.

41:28 Drew Like people you knew, friends of his?

41:30 Guest Yeah, basically like Mike and I pretty much write all of our lyrics off of stories that we make up.

41:37 Drew Not real experiences?

41:38 Guest Yeah, just kind of like we kind of relate to them by things we say.

41:41 Caller Well, it's obviously based on something you've experienced, but it's not necessarily about someone in particular.

41:46 Drew It's fictional.

41:47 Guest Yeah, so it's just somebody kind of going through the cycles of trying to figure himself out and all that kind of stuff.

41:54 Adam After this.

41:56 Caller Hello, this is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, and Loveline will be right back.

42:03 Loveline on 947-NRK. Welcome, Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on 947-NRK.

42:24 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Chester and Brad are both here tonight.

42:31 Drew You at least ought to say thank you to John.

42:32 Adam From Lincoln Park, I want to say thank you to John from the BMW dealership. Where's that?

42:39 Drew Monrovia.

42:39 Adam Monrovia. Took a nice little test drive there today. Boy, do I love, boy, wait till I get older.

42:46 Drew Why?

42:46 Adam Because I already have a lot of the traits of an old guy.

42:49 Guest He's like Al Pacino in that one movie where he has that kid take him to the Ferrari around downtown.

42:55 Adam Sent of a woman, sent of a lady.

42:57 Drew More like Walter Mathow in that dirty old man or whatever it is, cranky old man.

43:01 Adam I'm just going to be sitting. I could see myself spending my early 60s through late 70s just sitting in a car dealership drinking fresh coffee, just putzing around the lounge, walking around.

43:12 Caller Thinking about Spru.

43:14 Adam Thinking about Spru. Writing songs about Spru.

43:17 Drew I don't have the power before 2000 RPM.

43:18 Adam No, no, no. Let's just take some calls. I don't want to bore the kids with my vast knowledge of automobiles.

43:25 Caller Boring. Thank you.

43:27 Drew Way in his chair.

43:29 Adam Yeah, yeah. You're 29.

43:31 Caller 29 years old.

43:32 Adam What's up?

43:33 Caller Well, I have a girlfriend who's 28. She is celiac and diabetic and she is also allergic to latex, which presents a problem for birth control, clearly.

43:42 Drew She has Spru, celiac Spru?

43:44 Yes.

43:44 Adam Spru?

43:45 Caller And she's diabetic.

43:46 Adam What the hell is that?

43:47 Drew It's a malabsorptive syndrome of the small bowel.

43:50 Adam Good times.

43:51 Caller You can't have gluten, which is in basically everything.

43:54 Drew Yeah, it's also called gluten sensor of enteropathy.

43:56 Adam Jake, you better really be hot.

43:58 Drew But the Spru, the Spru, she, I mean, she better be hot. Yeah, yeah.

44:04 Adam She better be hot.

44:05 Drew The Spru does not...

44:07 Adam Is that an acronym or is that a word?

44:09 Drew That's a word. There's Tropical Spru and Celiac Spru. There's two different kinds of Spru. Wow.

44:15 Adam What is that Spru?

44:16 Drew And whipples cause a Spru. So, but the point is...

44:19 Caller Good band name.

44:21 Caller Really?

44:22 Drew What? The Spru. Celiac Spru.

44:25 Caller You can't basically, basically, Adam, she can't digest any gluten, yeah, gluten and everything.

44:30 Drew But the Spru is not the big issue here with the pill, right? It's the diabetes. And does she have uncontrolled diabetes?

44:38 Caller She has very controlled diabetes. She tries to keep it low.

44:41 Drew And does her doctor doesn't want her to take the pill because of the diabetes?

44:44 Caller Well, apparently the hormones that she's on, she also has some sort of thyroid medicine she takes.

44:49 Drew Yeah.

44:50 Caller And she said that she was on birth control years ago.

44:53 Drew That's called Schmidt syndrome, where people have no thyroid and no, but she's always got nice epinephs, right? Schmidt and Spru.

45:00 Adam And it sounds like she's opening a brewery, Spru and Spru Life.

45:06 Drew Brought to you by Schmidt.

45:08 Caller Schmidt and Spru.

45:10 Adam When you want the fine taste of hops and barley and an easy going lager, step up to Spru.

45:18 Caller It's called Schmidt. But anyway, so.

45:22 Drew But listen, here's the deal. Those don't absolutely preclude her from taking the pill. None of that. So she could take the pill if she were supervised by her endocrinologist, number one.

45:31 Caller She has a whole team of people that she works with and she said that she was on it years ago, but it caused a lot of weird ups and downs with her attitude and her eating and stuff.

45:38 Drew Well, it sure could, but she could be on it.

45:41 Adam Jake, let me, I'm going to float one of my theories. I have a lot of theories about people that are different than me. Color, height, weight, almost anything. Sex.

45:52 Drew Intelligence.

45:52 Adam Intelligence.

45:53 Caller Adam, have you found anybody that's like you at all?

45:55 Adam No.

45:55 Drew Good, interesting point.

45:56 Adam No, there's a couple of, there's a handful of guys out there.

45:59 Drew One's a monk in New Zealand.

46:01 Adam I like Jimmy. How dare you? Here's my point. How's her attitude?

46:06 Caller Very, very good.

46:07 Adam Very good.

46:08 Caller She can go high, except when her sugars go low. She feels like she's been stricken with disease.

46:12 Adam And what can she eat? I mean, can you guys go out to dinner?

46:16 Caller She has to be very careful. We have to talk to the chef and stuff to find out what they're cooking, what it's been cooked in.

46:21 Drew You know, you can't mix up her own salad dressing.

46:24 Caller Yeah, exactly. She can't have certain vinegars.

46:26 Adam Drew's wife's the same way, but nothing's wrong with her. She's paid to be asked.

46:29 Drew No, no, no.

46:30 Adam Yes.

46:30 Drew No, no.

46:31 Adam I've been out to eat with her. She's like a polymer chemist over there with that salad dressing.

46:36 Drew She is not one of those.

46:37 Adam It's like, what do you have? We got Thousand Island Ranch, we got French, we got blue cheese, and we got Italian. Oh, no, Roquefort. How many times has the guy said, Oh, yeah, and Roquefort. Do you know what I mean? Just name what they have.

46:54 Drew For that, you're coming out to dinner with us. I'm going to see to it. Hey, listen. Hey, be that as it may, Jake, listen, there you have a couple of options. One is she could go back on the pill and that's one option. Two, you said you're allergic to latex, but certainly there's always animal skin condoms. You guys aren't worried so much about safe sex. You want birth control as animal skins as polyurethane condoms. And then you can keep the morning after pill around as a backup should the condom fail, in which case that wouldn't have such a sustained impact on her blood sugar control.

47:22 Adam All right. Chester and Brad are both here from Lincoln Park. We'll take ourselves a little break.

47:27 OK, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

47:29 Caller So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

47:32 Caller Why can't I meet anybody? But I tried everything else and thought what the hell?

47:35 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

47:37 Guest I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

47:39 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

47:42 877-889-DATE.

47:45 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:49 This is Ravine on 947NRK.

48:30 Adam Hello, it is Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

48:34 Drew We're the best of Loveline.

48:35 Adam That's right, Drew.

48:37 Drew This is a night marked by the lineup tonight of bands that we really like. They're good bands, and we happen to like the members, you know?

48:44 Adam Yeah.

48:45 Drew It's not always that way.

48:46 Adam No, it isn't always that way. And it seems like we're leading into something here when you say that, but we're not.

48:52 Drew Just making commentary.

48:54 Adam Right. Like, for instance, next up, a band we honestly like, System of a Down. I'd like to welcome back to the show System of a Down. John and Chavo are both here from the band, probably third, fourth appearance. Fourth appearance?

49:10 Guest 16th.

49:10 Adam 16th appearance here on Loveline.

49:13 Drew And yet, amazingly, it's been a year since you've been. I can't believe that.

49:17 Guest We can't usually go that long, but you know.

49:20 Adam You guys have been like two-timing us.

49:22 Guest Yeah.

49:23 Adam Going on other love-oriented radio shows.

49:25 Guest That's right.

49:26 Adam Well, the good news is, is a year only feels like about three months to us now that we're old.

49:32 Drew Yeah.

49:32 Adam Let me explain something very sad.

49:33 Drew Scary that way, too.

49:34 Adam Very sad, kiddies. You know how when you drive to San Francisco, okay, forget whatever you're saying. No, here's what I'm saying. Since we are on around the country, you know when you take that ride to grandma's house and it's about two hours or Uncle Lou's or Disneyland or wherever the hell you think you're going to some splash mountain or something and it seems like it takes forever to get there, but then the ride back seemed about half as long even though it was the same distance. That's what life is like. I mean, you spend the beginning part of your life going, Christ, is it Christmas yet? And then the second part of your life going, holy ass system of a down was in here a year ago.

50:17 Caller A year ago?

50:18 Caller No.

50:19 Adam That's my point. It doesn't feel like anything anymore.

50:22 Guest Seems like the first 21 years kind of whizzed by.

50:25 Adam No, those are dragged. Well, now everything that's gone is now whizzed. I've labeled. Toxicity is the name of the new CD.

50:37 Drew So we were at one of their free concerts, if you recall.

50:39 Adam Yes, we were standing with.

50:40 Guest Stay away from the horses.

50:41 Drew Yeah, the police, the mountain police showed up.

50:44 Do you remember that, Drew?

50:45 Guest The tanks will be there this time.

50:47 Adam Yeah, we were behind the stage. All we heard was like the bass. And Drew was like, who the hell are those guys? I'm trying to eat chili.

50:55 Drew Spaghetti with spaghetti.

50:57 Adam I'm trying to eat a chili size here. You guys played for a long time at that show, too.

51:03 Caller No, about an hour.

51:04 Adam That seemed like a long time. I mean, I don't mean that in a bad way.

51:08 Guest I don't mean that in a bad way.

51:09 Adam No, but you were. I mean, this is a few years ago. You guys were a fairly new band, right?

51:14 Guest We're still a fairly new band.

51:16 Adam Right.

51:16 Guest But we're also old at the same time.

51:18 Adam It seemed like you had a lot of material for a new band. You know what I mean?

51:21 Drew I had a lot of fans, too.

51:22 Adam Oh, that's true. Yeah, the cops had to break it up on Hornsback. Stop talking.

51:25 Drew Let's go to the cops.

51:26 Adam All right. Jeez, they wouldn't quit, Drew. You remember that?

51:30 Guest Yeah, yeah.

51:31 We're like a Duracell.

51:34 Adam Jamie?

51:35 Yeah?

51:35 Adam You're 17?

51:36 Caller Yes, I am.

51:37 Adam What's up?

51:38 Caller Yeah, I was wondering if it was natural to hate the sexual organ that you were born with your entire life.

51:45 Drew No, no, but people do get those kinds of energies going.

51:50 Caller Why?

51:50 Drew Do you have anything else going on?

51:52 Caller Not in my life currently, no. I have friends. I've never dated, though, and I've had these feelings my entire life.

52:00 Drew How about anything, feelings of aggression or?

52:04 Caller No, I like to help people. I never want to fight.

52:06 Adam Well, what do you have against your penis? Maybe you just got a bad one.

52:11 Caller I don't like the fact that it's there. Puberty, I hated the way I developed.

52:16 Drew Yeah.

52:17 Adam Wow.

52:17 Drew How old are you?

52:18 Caller I'm 17.

52:19 Drew Why did you hate that?

52:21 Caller Because of the fact that I was growing taller, I was getting facial hair. I did not like that.

52:26 Drew What, did you want to stay a child?

52:28 Caller What?

52:28 Drew You wanted to stay a child?

52:30 Caller Well, not really a child. I wanted to, I was envious of girls.

52:37 Adam Uh-huh. Like Diana Ross?

52:40 Caller No.

52:41 Adam Joan Rivers?

52:43 Caller Like other teenage girls.

52:44 Adam Oh, I see. So, I mean, you think you want to be a female?

52:48 Caller Yeah.

52:48 Adam So you'd like to get an operation, do that whole gender reassignment?

52:54 Caller That sounds like what I'd want to do. I didn't know if they existed or not.

52:57 Adam Oh, really? You didn't know about that?

52:59 Caller No.

52:59 Adam Seemed like the kind of thing that you would know about if it was something you were interested in at 17. I mean, it's not 12 or 13. You never heard about that?

53:08 Caller I've heard about it, but I've only heard people joking about it.

53:11 Adam Oh, yeah. They're serious. Would you do that? Would you undergo that operation?

53:17 Caller If I had the choice, yes.

53:19 Adam Wow. Hold on. Drew, what's the puss on for? You don't believe him?

53:25 Drew It's just not all fitting for me yet. I don't know what it is.

53:27 Adam Well, hold on. Let me talk to everybody. Drew, do you think this is bogus? Do you guys think this is bogus?

53:33 Caller I just looked at him and said bogus.

53:35 Adam But is it because he has his answers ready? Wouldn't he just be more confused and not be able to put his finger on it at this stage of life?

53:43 Guest Maybe he's got a notepad with answers ready.

53:47 Adam Would he say that he's angry at his genitalia? Would he state it that way?

53:50 Guest I don't understand what he means by angry at it.

53:53 Adam Well, listen, we've all gotten upset. I had a blowout with my balls on Saturday.

53:58 Drew Your balls are just at you all the time.

53:59 Adam Well, they were clearly out of line.

54:02 Guest Stop misusing them. Give them a break.

54:04 Adam My penis is a backstabber.

54:06 Drew I don't deal much with people that have gender reassignment. I see them occasionally. And most of them don't talk about having hated their genitalia. They talk about just feeling like a woman. And people I've dealt with that hate their genitalia usually have other kinds of psychiatric things going on. And sometimes end up mutilating their genitals.

54:24 Adam Hey, Jamie.

54:25 Caller I don't give them any ideas.

54:26 Adam All right. How about a little therapy for you?

54:31 Caller That sounds like a good idea.

54:33 Adam You got a lot of feelings, right?

54:35 Caller Yeah, I'm really emotional.

54:37 Adam Yeah. Well, look, you don't have to make any decisions just yet. Just talk to a counselor.

54:43 Caller Okay.

54:44 Adam All right. Don't do anything weird, right?

54:48 Caller Yeah. I've almost taken a knife to it a few times.

54:50 Caller Oh, it's not good.

54:52 Adam Really?

54:53 Caller Wrong.

54:54 Drew Wrong.

54:54 Guest Don't do anything that you can't take back.

54:57 Drew Do you ever have voices commanding you to do that kind of thing?

55:01 Caller No.

55:01 Drew Do you ever see things that aren't there?

55:03 Caller No.

55:03 Drew Do you ever have voices of people saying bad things to you?

55:07 Adam No.

55:08 Caller No.

55:08 Drew You have nothing like that going on?

55:09 Caller No, not at all.

55:11 Adam All right. I hate good times, all right? I don't know. Jamie, get some therapy, all right?

55:18 Drew Please.

55:18 Adam And don't make a move.

55:19 Drew You got to tell somebody about these things.

55:20 Caller No knives, no scissors.

55:22 Drew Yeah. Again, that's more in the vein of what I've seen people do.

55:26 Adam All right. Do you think he was molested or... Jamie, were you molested? No. Nobody ever... What? What happened to that voice? Straight answer. No one ever did anything to your penis without your consent?

55:36 Caller Not at all.

55:37 Drew Or your body? No one ever struck you or hit you or anything like that?

55:40 Adam What? You were never hit with a penis?

55:42 Drew No.

55:42 Adam Is that what you were asking, Drew?

55:43 Drew No, if you were beaten or anything like that.

55:45 Adam All right, Jamie. All right. Therapy.

55:48 Guest Yeah.

55:49 Adam Let's burn some calls. Here we go. Tom.

55:51 Guest Yes, sir.

55:52 Adam What can we do for you, buddy?

55:54 Guest Okay. Well, as I said, it has been six months.

55:56 Drew Why? Why?

55:58 Guest And...

55:58 Drew Why?

55:59 Adam Since he's had sex with his wife.

56:00 Drew Yeah, why?

56:01 Guest Yeah, wife.

56:01 Drew Why?

56:02 Guest Why?

56:02 Drew Yeah.

56:04 Guest Well, I'm guessing maybe too much of a routine.

56:08 Drew What does she tell you? What does she tell you?

56:11 Guest What does she tell me? Well, she's basically wondering why I'm not, you know, asking her for sex. And I guess I'm kind of thinking, well, you know, every once in a while it would help if she came to me too.

56:25 Adam Well, no, wait a minute. One of you shut down. It's you, right?

56:31 Guest Yeah.

56:31 Adam Why did you shut down?

56:32 Caller Yeah.

56:34 Guest I don't know, maybe because everything was too routine on what we did.

56:37 Caller And I mean, there's certain things that she won't do.

56:39 Guest And I completely understand why.

56:41 Drew Why are you the one seeing the therapist?

56:43 Guest Well, I've got problems with anxiety that I've been meaning to go for a long time.

56:47 Caller I used to get really violent, panic attacks.

56:50 Adam What is it that, why do you understand there's certain things she won't do? Is there some history or something?

56:55 Guest Yeah. Oh yeah. She's had some history where she was sexually assaulted.

56:59 Drew Sexually assaulted or abused? Or both?

57:02 Caller I guess it would be abused.

57:05 Guest But I mean, I understand that and I knew that going into the marriage. And I accept that.

57:09 Adam So there's some issues here. And you, who understand what her history is, it sort of sounds like you're blaming her or punishing her in a way. Like, well, you could have sex, but she won't do wheelbarrows. So forget it.

57:26 Guest No, not necessarily. It's just I really have a low libido towards her.

57:30 Adam Right. OK, but that's the issue. It's not that because she's, you know, not open to certain positions or something. You understand?

57:39 Guest Yeah.

57:39 Adam I mean, you're trying to kind of palm it off on her at the beginning a little bit.

57:43 Guest Yeah. Well, all right.

57:44 Adam So why why is it low for her? Is it low for everyone or just her?

57:49 Guest What? What?

57:50 Drew Why do your feelings for her?

57:52 Guest It feels like it's just towards her because why?

57:54 There's no problems.

57:56 Guest Why? Well, I don't know. Maybe it's just because, as I said, routine and no, that's not it.

58:04 Guest How long have you been married?

58:06 Caller Four years.

58:07 Drew It could be it. No, it feels like routine. I understand that.

58:11 Adam But look, something's up with you because you'd go. You wouldn't go six months without having an encounter with your wife.

58:18 Drew Is she not into it when you guys are together?

58:21 Guest Well, it just doesn't seem like she wants it either.

58:23 Guest All right.

58:24 Guest All right.

58:24 Caller It's got a little bit to do with it, too.

58:25 Guest Is that because she thinks you want these other positions or whatever that she's uncomfortable doing because of the abuse she's had?

58:32 Guest No, I don't think so. I mean, I can work around the things that she doesn't want to do. That's fine.

58:38 Guest Have you asked her?

58:40 Guest If she'd be willing to try new things, you mean?

58:43 Guest Have you asked her if she feels that you're resenting her for what happened to her? Have you asked her that?

58:49 No.

58:50 Guest She's never said anything.

58:51 Guest Why don't you try talking to your wife?

58:53 Yeah, I probably should.

58:54 Guest And watch Sex in the City.

58:56 Drew Why aren't you getting couples therapies?

58:58 I'm sorry.

58:59 Guest She doesn't believe in couples therapy. We tried that.

59:02 Drew What happened with that?

59:03 Guest She believes in therapy, but she doesn't believe in couples therapy.

59:06 Drew Right. What happened during that therapy session? What didn't she like about it?

59:10 Guest No. I mean, we've never had couples therapy at all. I've just had personal therapy with myself.

59:14 Drew Didn't he say we've had couples therapy?

59:16 Adam It sounded like it. Is she going to therapy?

59:20 Guest No, but she probably should.

59:21 Adam Yeah. She definitely should. I mean, if she was victimized like that. All right. Everyone go to therapy and call us back in six months. And by then, it'll be a year since you've gotten light.

59:31 Guest Why don't you try some romance or something?

59:33 Drew Well, this is a really complicated thing. His original question was, what medications can he take that won't affect his libido? There are a couple of antidepressants that won't. Remeron, Welbutrin, Serizone, this manatean anxiety drug like Boostbar may not. So those are probably in the cat amongst the medicines they'll choose amongst and treat you.

59:51 Adam But there's a lot going on. Hey, Tom, stop thinking so much and start porking. Yes, you hear me? Yes, sir. I really mean it. I think I think people look, if you haven't had sex in six months with your wife, just nail her. Now just do it. You may not feel like it. She may not feel like it. But you know what? You nail her once, you get to reset the clock. You're not insane already. Instead of six months ago, it was Tuesday.

1:00:16 Guest You ever notice that once you get started, you get into it a lot more? Sometimes when it becomes redundant, once you get started, you get into it.

1:00:24 Adam Yeah.

1:00:24 Guest How much? You don't feel like starting. But once you get started.

1:00:28 Adam Well, this is interesting. And now it means we're not going to take any more calls this hour. But let me say this about sex. So much of life is not about what you feel like doing at the moment, but what you know you should be doing, what's important for a relationship, what's important for work or family or whatever.

1:00:43 Guest Take one for the team.

1:00:44 Adam Working out. You don't want to work out. But you go, OK, I got to do this. I'll feel good when I get into it. I'll feel good when I'm done work, when the alarm clock goes off in the morning. Sex can be this way on occasion, too, in a relationship. Drew, you don't know about that because you're a passionate, passionate man. But for some of us, we need a little kick start. And sometimes you just go, let's just get started. I'll hit my groove about halfway into it.

1:01:07 Guest It's like dominoes. You just have to start it off and then it does the job by itself.

1:01:12 Adam We need to, you need to go up the shirt of that first domino and get them all falling. I agree. Jessica?

1:01:19 Caller Hi.

1:01:19 Adam You're 29?

1:01:21 Caller What's up?

1:01:22 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew, actually. I've been terribly frustrated with this for a really long time, but I won't allow myself to have an orgasm. And it either through relation, and it's created problems with relationships, and with guys or just through masturbation, I just will not allow myself to.

1:01:42 Drew Why not?

1:01:43 Caller I'm sorry?

1:01:43 Drew Why not?

1:01:44 Caller I don't know. That's the problem. I think it's maybe I'm afraid of losing control, or I'm just scared. I don't know.

1:01:53 Drew What do you imagine? Just guessing what you might be imagined that would happen to you?

1:01:58 Caller I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know what my body will do. I know I've come close, and I either push the guy off of me, or I pull my hand away.

1:02:09 Adam That's always that crazy one.

1:02:11 Drew Yeah, I'll be there.

1:02:12 Adam Where it's like, Stop!

1:02:15 Drew Stop, stop, get away.

1:02:16 Adam And you're like, huh? You're getting really weird. Start from scratch. What are you talking about? Oh, I look, that's very frustrating for me that way. Did someone do something to you?

1:02:26 Caller No, nothing.

1:02:27 Adam Nothing?

1:02:27 Caller Nothing ever.

1:02:28 Adam Nobody died on you or anything?

1:02:30 Caller No.

1:02:30 Adam Nobody.

1:02:31 Caller I'm afraid of, there's nothing.

1:02:33 Adam Really? See, usually the people, are you really religious?

1:02:37 Caller No, not at all.

1:02:38 Adam You didn't grow up in that environment? Nope. Usually the women we talk to, and Drew, tell me if I'm right or not. We talk to women who won't let themselves experience an orgasm. It's for fear that they'll become attached or vulnerable emotionally.

1:02:53 Drew Exactly. There's a fear of giving in to the relationship fully.

1:02:57 Adam So it's usually something like dad died of cancer when they were three, or dad skipped out, or somebody did something bad to him. But there's none of that with you, huh?

1:03:05 Caller No.

1:03:06 Drew And is there a fear of getting too close to someone?

1:03:10 Caller Possibly. I don't know if that's it. I mean, I get to that point where I just can't handle it anymore and I just push them off.

1:03:20 Drew No, no. This just sounds like a mechanical thing.

1:03:23 Caller Really?

1:03:23 Drew This really does. Yeah. This is a job for the shower handle.

1:03:27 Caller Oh, really?

1:03:27 Drew Seriously.

1:03:28 Adam Is that a new superhero? Are you talking about an appliance?

1:03:31 Caller Both.

1:03:32 Adam Shower handle.

1:03:33 Caller Well, I have a vibrator.

1:03:35 Adam You do?

1:03:36 Drew What happens with that?

1:03:37 Caller Same thing. I'll pull it away. I can't, I get to this point where...

1:03:42 Drew Then you got to experiment with dosing yourself to the point without getting over... What you're doing is you're going past the point of comfort into that state of sort of super sensitivity where you like can't do it anymore.

1:03:52 Adam How about the tub?

1:03:54 Drew Yeah, that's what I think. I think water is the answer here.

1:03:55 Caller Okay, I haven't tried that yet.

1:03:56 Adam Yeah, try that.

1:03:58 Drew Is Anna here? Do you want to add a scruncher?

1:03:59 Adam Oh, let's not humiliate producer Anna, but just get in the tub and do the math.

1:04:04 Caller Okay.

1:04:04 Adam You know what I mean?

1:04:05 Drew Yeah. Why have the water flow right on you, the actual spout flow? Or, you know what I'm saying?

1:04:12 Adam Yeah.

1:04:13 Guest What the hell are you guys talking about?

1:04:16 Adam Women love this tub. I don't know.

1:04:17 Drew Or use the detachable shower handle.

1:04:20 Adam Do you have one of those detachable shower things?

1:04:23 Caller I don't have one.

1:04:24 Adam No.

1:04:24 Guest Do you have a friend that has one?

1:04:26 Adam But there's one down at the church you can use?

1:04:29 Drew But the water, the flow of water out of a bathtub is big, it seems to be.

1:04:33 Adam This is why women love baths and everything has to do with it. Candles and salts and all that nonsense.

1:04:39 Drew And use that. Relax. Just find a sort of space you can be in that you can sort of feel comfortable.

1:04:46 Adam Are you high strung, Jessica?

1:04:48 Drew Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:50 Adam Yeah, you're uptight. Where's your dad?

1:04:52 Caller He lives in another state.

1:04:53 Adam Is everything good with him?

1:04:55 Caller Yeah.

1:04:55 Adam Everything's fine. Not an alcoholic, never abandon the family?

1:04:59 Caller Nope.

1:05:00 Adam Huh. And you've never have you ever been married?

1:05:02 Caller No.

1:05:04 Adam Oh, wait a minute. You're big gal?

1:05:06 Caller No.

1:05:07 Adam You've never been married?

1:05:08 Caller No.

1:05:08 Adam No kids, right? Twenty nine. Why haven't you? Have you been in a long term relationship?

1:05:14 Drew Adam, have you been married?

1:05:15 Adam Shush. I'm a big star.

1:05:20 Caller No huge long term relationships.

1:05:23 Adam OK. All right. Hey, most of our callers by 29 have been divorced three times.

1:05:29 Drew I understand that. But occasionally in this country, there are people that are waiting until the 30s to get married. Believe me.

1:05:34 Adam Not our call.

1:05:35 Drew I know. But this is a breakthrough call.

1:05:36 Adam Something's going on.

1:05:38 Drew Jessica comes from.

1:05:39 Adam How dare you weave my personal life into this show, Drew? You know, I don't like talking about myself unless it's in a very positive light. I'm saying she's 29. She's not really had serious relationships. She's never been engaged or married or anything. She's scared of being vulnerable. She doesn't want to be in.

1:05:58 Drew Yeah, there is some of that. But I think the high strung piece is part of why her biology is so charged up. But I think she's got to figure out how to master her biology.

1:06:05 Adam All right. Brandon?

1:06:06 Yeah.

1:06:07 Adam You're 16?

1:06:08 Caller Yes, sir.

1:06:09 Adam Yeah. Well, what's up?

1:06:12 Caller Well, I have sex with my girlfriend on a regular basis. And every time I can't get an erection, it's just I can't get off. Like taters.

1:06:30 Adam You kill her mom with a sling blade or anything? No. All right. So you have an erection problem.

1:06:36 Caller Yeah. I mean, I don't know what it is.

1:06:39 Drew At what point are you losing the erection? When you start, when you get into it?

1:06:43 Caller I don't know. I mean, I really do get into it. She is like beautiful.

1:06:46 Drew So you're going fine. How long do you go for before you lose the erection?

1:06:50 Caller Well, I go for a long time and I just get tired of doing it. Because I mean, I'm not going to get off. So it's like one time I went for like four hours.

1:06:56 Drew All right. So the problem is not about losing your erection. The problem is about not orgasming, right?

1:07:01 OK.

1:07:02 Adam Well, we're asking you, right? That's the problem. You had sex for four hours?

1:07:13 Caller Yeah, one time. I mean, we went for a really long time.

1:07:15 Drew But the point is that's a sort of award-winning erection. That's not an erection that has a problem. That's an erection that doesn't have a conclusion to it. There's no finish.

1:07:28 Adam So you're having difficulty with the orgasm, right?

1:07:31 Caller Yeah, man. I really would like to know what my problem is.

1:07:34 Drew How often are you guys having sex?

1:07:36 Caller Mental? Well, about a month and a half now.

1:07:39 Drew How often?

1:07:41 Caller About once every weekend. I mean, she sleeps over to my house. She lives right across the street.

1:07:47 Drew Once a week.

1:07:49 Caller Yeah.

1:07:49 Adam She lives across the street and you're not getting her more than that? She'll be more than once a week.

1:07:52 Caller No, man, because her parents are like real religious.

1:07:56 Adam Doesn't her house have a mail slot on it?

1:07:58 Caller No.

1:07:58 Adam OK. Trying to work an angle there. Can I have sex once a week?

1:08:02 Guest Do you take care of her? Is she happy?

1:08:04 Adam It's a religious Christian. That's the only bang my daughter once a week. Four times monthly. It is written. It's good.

1:08:14 Caller All right.

1:08:15 Adam What's that?

1:08:17 Caller She always gets hers.

1:08:18 Adam She gets hers, sure.

1:08:20 Caller Yeah, but I mean, it's like I get kind of mad, you know?

1:08:23 Guest Why do you get, you don't, you don't.

1:08:24 Adam He's frustrated.

1:08:25 Guest You don't come now.

1:08:27 Caller That's what it is.

1:08:27 Guest Brandon, go down on you.

1:08:29 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:08:30 Caller No.

1:08:31 Drew Okay. No medical problems for you.

1:08:33 Caller I smoked hot though.

1:08:34 Drew So I can impair a little bit, but yeah, I've heard for hours. Yeah, I can.

1:08:39 Adam What?

1:08:39 Drew That's not the big issue here. I don't think I think it's I think this is the Corolla syndrome.

1:08:43 Adam Thank you.

1:08:43 Caller Yeah.

1:08:44 Adam You're too tall, too good looking.

1:08:46 Caller Now, I mean, I'm short.

1:08:47 Drew Ask him about his history with himself.

1:08:49 Adam Do you masturbate, Brandon? Yeah, I mean, hold on, Sparky.

1:08:54 Caller Whenever I masturbate, I can get an erection, but Can you finish? Yeah.

1:09:00 Drew Oh, wait, he doesn't know what erection means.

1:09:01 Adam Oh, he doesn't.

1:09:02 Drew He thinks erection means ejaculation.

1:09:04 Adam Oh, he does, doesn't he?

1:09:05 Drew Yeah.

1:09:06 Adam Hey, Brandon.

1:09:06 Yahoo!

1:09:09 Caller Erection is like when you cum, right?

1:09:11 Adam Oh, Brandon.

1:09:12 Drew That's an ejaculation.

1:09:14 Caller An erection is when you get your penis hard.

1:09:17 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:09:18 Adam Brandon.

1:09:19 Caller So Drew thinks you can't get it up.

1:09:21 Adam I want you to do me a favor. Are you where you who's schooling you?

1:09:27 Caller I was schooling me.

1:09:28 Adam Yeah.

1:09:29 Caller So, Pulpa Junior High just moved here from Ozark, Alabama. All right.

1:09:33 Adam I would like you I would like you to find your health teacher and kick him right in the nuts. When you see him next, because he has failed you miserably. I think you should sue him. All right. Now, wait a second. Now, now I'm totally lost. So he can't have, he can't come, can't have an orgasm. Right.

1:09:57 Drew He can't have an erection.

1:09:59 Adam But he, don't make fun of him.

1:10:06 You know, as, as, I like tanners.

1:10:11 Adam People who live in California, they get a little attitude. Southern California, they make fun of the middle of the country. But you know, we're kind of right, aren't we? Aren't we right? We are right about that. It's not just a stereotype.

1:10:23 So let's get his problem.

1:10:24 Adam Brandon?

1:10:25 Caller Yeah.

1:10:26 Adam So when you masturbate, yeah, no problem. There's you're able to finish.

1:10:32 Caller Yeah.

1:10:32 Adam And you're able to finish quickly.

1:10:35 Caller Not quickly.

1:10:36 Adam How how what do you think?

1:10:37 Guest Two hours only takes about 30 minutes.

1:10:42 Adam 30 minutes.

1:10:43 Caller Yeah, it takes a really long time.

1:10:45 Drew Wow.

1:10:45 Guest That's a long time with yourself.

1:10:47 Adam Yeah.

1:10:48 Drew You couldn't do anything for 30 minutes.

1:10:49 Adam No, I couldn't. I have ADD. I'd like I'd get bored and have to get back to my Tivo.

1:10:55 Caller Two sandwiches, half a movie.

1:10:57 Adam Right. Brandon, you need to see if you can shave some time off of that masturbatorial mental, bro.

1:11:04 Caller It's mental.

1:11:04 Caller All right.

1:11:06 Adam And then what position you get in when you masturbate?

1:11:10 Caller I stand up.

1:11:11 Adam You stand up?

1:11:12 Caller Yeah.

1:11:13 Adam Do you have like a piece of straw hanging out of your mouth when you do that?

1:11:19 Caller Okay.

1:11:20 Adam Standing up. And what position are you in when you're with your girlfriend?

1:11:24 Caller Well, we do a lot of positions. We move around a lot.

1:11:28 Adam You need to get into your prime. Okay. Here's what I'm saying. You need your prime position and then you need to get into that position when you're with her and your penis will be trained like one of Pavlov's dogs, right? Come right out. All right. We'll take a little early break. Drew, where are you going?

1:11:46 Drew I got to make a call. You're going to do a song.

1:11:49 Adam All right. All right. That's right. We're going to hear one off of toxicity from System of a Down. And this one is called Psycho. That's from our friend, System of a Down. We're going to take ourselves a little bit of a break, then we'll be right back after this.

1:15:51 Caller Love Line, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:15:56 Caller Love Line on 947-NRK.

1:16:12 Caller Buying a new car? No doubt you're caught up in a frenzy of options. To sunroof or not to sunroof? A spoiler, perhaps? What about an option you might overlook, lowering your car insurance rate? One 15-minute call to Geico Direct could save you 15% or more. Do it now, because you can't imagine what tears of regret do to new leather seats. Call 1-800-947-AUTO. That's 1-800-947-AUTO. Geico Direct, The Sensible Alternative.

1:16:42 Caller I may be pregnant, but my period's days away.

1:16:48 Caller With First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test, she could have results up to four days sooner. Because based on product instructions, only First Response can be used four days sooner than any other at-home pregnancy test.

1:17:00 Caller I want to know now.

1:17:01 Caller First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test. Results, four days sooner.

1:17:07 Caller See doctor as recommended. 52% get results four days sooner.

1:17:10 Guest 86%, two days sooner.

1:17:11 Drew Use as directed.

1:17:30 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline.

1:17:32 Drew Oh, we're not here, but you can still serenade us.

1:17:36 Adam Oh, OK.

1:17:37 Drew Yeah, OK. It's the best of Loveline.

1:17:40 Adam Yes, this was a little something from System of a Down. Chigga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mogga-mog Steve are here from New Found Glory. Jordan is...

1:18:11 There's Jordan.

1:18:12 Adam There he is.

1:18:12 He was doing number two.

1:18:13 Adam Shake the dew off his lily.

1:18:16 Did you wipe from front to back or back to front?

1:18:18 Guest I usually wipe front to back.

1:18:21 He usually sits down when he pees.

1:18:22 Adam I think everyone goes front to back, right? On the wipe?

1:18:25 Drew Guys.

1:18:27 Adam Well, girls can't go back to front either. They'll get all kinds of stuff in the floor. They're supposed to.

1:18:30 Drew That's right. They're supposed to go front to back.

1:18:33 Adam Right. And you'd think it'd be easier for them to go front to back. They don't have to negotiate the balls. By the way, though, that ball, that's like a parking block for me. That's how my hand knows where to stop. My hands like wave around. I hit the ball. They're like, oh, too far. Slide back. There we go. All right. Let's talk to JD. JD, you're 18.

1:18:55 Guest Yeah.

1:18:55 Adam So you want to know what direction? Well, you know what?

1:18:58 Guest I was thinking I never thought about it before. You know, I just do it. And I go front to back and I'm wondering if that's normal or because I haven't asked other people yet.

1:19:09 Adam You know, front to back, front to back. You're fine.

1:19:12 Guest Front to back. That's normal.

1:19:13 Drew Women need to go front to back.

1:19:14 Guest Yeah.

1:19:15 Drew Well, yeah, well, who cares?

1:19:17 Adam Yeah. What do you use? Use your good hand?

1:19:20 Guest I'm not actually use my bad hand.

1:19:22 Adam You do use your your left hand because I'm used to like reading.

1:19:25 Guest I'll pick up a newspaper or magazine.

1:19:27 Adam Right. Beaten off. Right. Right. You want that good hand free and in bacteria free. Blumkin. I go I go I go I go bad hand too. You guys you go bad hand or good hand?

1:19:40 Drew What do you mean bad hand?

1:19:41 Adam What hand do you wipe with? Is it a good one?

1:19:43 Drew Dominant hand.

1:19:44 Adam Dominant hand?

1:19:45 Ian's a switchy.

1:19:47 Adam Yeah, I'm a switch shitter.

1:19:49 Caller Ian's had a Blumkin before, I think.

1:19:50 Adam What's a Blumkin? Blumkin is when you're going number two while receiving oral. Oh, really? Oh, don't. It's a Blumkin. Blumkin. Blumkin. You know you've arrived. It's like a donkey punch. That's love. Karen? Karen?

1:20:08 Caller Hello? Yeah, this is Karen.

1:20:10 Adam Yeah. What's up? Hey.

1:20:12 Caller I have a question for you guys, maybe more directed to Dr. Drew. During sex, my left calf muscle feels like I get a runner's cramp, like a muscle spasm that's extremely painful.

1:20:27 Adam Right.

1:20:28 Caller And I tend to tense up my leg muscles to orgasm. And I'm wondering, and the thing is that my boyfriend and I tried to work on my not doing that. But if I don't, well, I mean, like, so that I don't suffer, but if I don't tense them up, then I don't feel anything. It's just a kind of a sensationless.

1:20:47 Adam What position are you in when you do this?

1:20:50 Caller Doesn't matter. Missionary or women on top is usually what we do.

1:20:54 Adam Women on top.

1:20:55 Caller Women. Women. No, women.

1:20:57 Adam Yeah, she said women.

1:20:58 Caller Which is me.

1:20:59 Right.

1:21:00 Adam Oh, OK. And how do you how do you sort of, though, if you're on top, can you get that calf, you know, push? You know, you know what I'm saying?

1:21:09 Caller Like, you know, what I do is I guess I end up tightening all of my lower leg muscles. Right.

1:21:15 Adam So you're you're essentially giving birth to an orgasm. I mean, you're pushing it out.

1:21:20 Maybe you should stretch before you, you know, yeah, stretch out.

1:21:24 Caller Honestly, I've actually done that.

1:21:26 Caller You have actually done that. And we've actually had sex after being in a hot tub for a while. Right. In which case, your limber. Right.

1:21:35 So does that work?

1:21:37 Caller No. I mean, it's the same. It's just usually the same. It's just it's extremely painful.

1:21:43 Drew You get it every single time.

1:21:45 Caller Yeah, it's just it's yeah, it's brutal.

1:21:47 Adam No, I've had that. You guys have had that where you point if you're on the bottom and your legs are like locked down, you're pointing your toes in front of you.

1:21:55 Caller Exactly.

1:21:55 Adam Yeah.

1:21:56 Caller Triflexol.

1:21:57 Drew Do you take any medication?

1:21:59 Adam I see.

1:21:59 Caller No, no, no.

1:22:01 Caller Is there any way to like, is there anything I should do?

1:22:04 Drew Do you exercise?

1:22:06 Caller I work out, you know, not like seriously work out three or four weeks. I'm working out a little bit.

1:22:13 Drew What was that?

1:22:14 Adam Charlie Brown's teacher jumped in for a second. She exercises some, but she's not a fanatic about it.

1:22:21 Caller Exactly.

1:22:22 Adam Yeah, it's interesting. You know, that's the way she orgasms by essentially pushing. And I don't know how many women do that. I, as a guy, I do that. That's my move, that push move. Yeah, I honed it in high school on many a lonely night alone. And now I actually use it around women. It's fantastic.

1:22:41 Drew So you're able to keep pushing them out.

1:22:43 Adam Yeah, she pushes. And if she doesn't push, she doesn't have the orgasm, but she cramps up on the push.

1:22:49 Does it hurt when you like do it yourself?

1:22:51 Adam Let me get her. Oh, that's a good question. Where was she on line five or two? Karen, what about when you're on your own? Does it hurt?

1:23:00 Caller Yeah. Yes, I'm not always there. It's a lot easier for me to orgasm masturbating.

1:23:07 Drew Well, why don't you incorporate whatever that technique is, sort of bring that into the...

1:23:11 Adam Well, she doesn't have an intercourse then. But hey, Karen, you can feel it start to cramp, right?

1:23:18 Caller I can. And what we do is I stop because I know I can feel the... And the thing is that it takes me a while to... I have to, you know, literally walk off the spasm and it turns me off, essentially.

1:23:29 Adam Right.

1:23:29 Caller It's too much effort.

1:23:30 Adam It's bad. It's like after a batter gets hit by pitch, he's got to take that little or almost like knocked down by pitch. You got to step back, walk it around a little, rub a little dirt on it. Just become a lesbian.

1:23:42 Caller I don't know. I have one.

1:23:44 Adam I don't know. I'm kind of with the guys on stretching out, though.

1:23:47 Drew That's about all you can do.

1:23:48 Adam Well, you know, what will stretch you? You know that one that stretches your Achilles out? Well, that stretch your calf out, you know, where you get like a little riser, a little six inch riser and put your hey, Karen.

1:23:59 Caller Yeah. Can I ask you one little thing? Yeah. What happened to Diane that was on your TV show?

1:24:04 Drew What happened to our TV show?

1:24:06 Adam Yeah, I don't know. She's like writing a book and you know, she's acting.

1:24:10 Drew She's in movies.

1:24:11 Adam She's in movies.

1:24:13 Caller I just want I thought she's a lot of fun.

1:24:14 Caller I think you guys are great.

1:24:15 Caller You do a great job. I sort of missed her. I wondered where she was.

1:24:18 Drew She was also she was never on the radio show.

1:24:22 Adam Yeah.

1:24:23 Caller Eric.

1:24:24 Caller Hi.

1:24:24 Adam Hi. Hi. You're 14. What's up?

1:24:27 Caller Oh, I just want to say that I'm a big fan of the show. I listen to you guys all the time before I go to bed.

1:24:31 Adam Oh, thanks.

1:24:32 Caller No problem. Actually, my question is for you. You found glory. Here they are. I don't I'm like you guys, the biggest fan. Thanks. I get that a lot. But you guys rock.

1:24:44 Adam Never gets old. Thank you.

1:24:46 Caller Thank you, man.

1:24:46 Really appreciate it.

1:24:47 Caller Yeah. Actually, I was wondering. Actually, not a question, more of a favor. I have a band and I have like been in it since I was 12. And you're 14.

1:25:00 Adam But he's only 14.

1:25:02 Caller Yeah, 14. And we're really young.

1:25:05 Adam Maybe if you haven't broken by 13, it's time to get out and get a day gig. I mean, that's kind of the rule, right? Right. Yeah.

1:25:12 Caller Yeah. But anyway, we're really good. And, you know, we play a lot. We try to play a lot of shows and we win like we won like three battle of the band out of like 25 bands. But no one seems to want to play with us or pick us up or anything like that. We have to pretty much fund everything for ourselves.

1:25:31 Adam Tell me you don't have a record deal.

1:25:33 Caller No, that's what we did.

1:25:34 That's exactly what we did when we first started. We all started when we were in high school, like really young. And when we just started playing the same place, like every week, and it got so old and boring that we wanted to like move out and start playing in different places. But in order to do that, you need to... What we did is we booked our own shows. Might as well not wait for other people to give you shows. Do it yourself. Book a show and make demo tapes and make free shirts at Kinko's and just do whatever you need to do to get your band out, just stuff into people's faces. You can't wait around and just like wait for something to happen. You need to do it yourself.

1:26:03 Adam And we're kind of having a little fun with you, Eric. But if you if your band is pretty tight and you're winning competitions and you have a little following and you're 14 years old, you're going to be fine.

1:26:15 Caller Yeah, you're set.

1:26:16 Adam You know, maybe by the time you know outside 10th grade, draft the assignment and you're you're taking a you're taking a tour.

1:26:25 Caller Yeah, it'd be like silver chair because we are really young. I mean, you know, probably younger when, you know, New Sound started out. But like, you know, I mean, we have to, you know, ask our parents to give us rides and our parents paid for our first recording.

1:26:39 Guest Yeah, really?

1:26:40 Adam Yeah.

1:26:40 Caller We had to ask our parents for money to record our first record. And we had to borrow money from them to rent our first van to go on tour.

1:26:46 Guest Yeah, it was actually a rider truck.

1:26:48 Caller I was in another band in the back of a box truck.

1:26:50 Adam Jordan had to take money out of the cookie jar. And how old were you when you hit the road?

1:26:55 Caller Seventeen.

1:26:55 Adam Wow.

1:26:56 Caller Yeah. I mean, we toured like we were in high school, like on like winter break, spring break in the summertime. And then when we finally got to high school, we decided to do it full time.

1:27:04 Adam Did everyone in high school know about you and know the band?

1:27:06 Caller Everyone in high school didn't like our band. You know, we were the punk rock band that no one really cared about. You know, now it's like we go to our hometown.

1:27:12 Caller Everyone was listening to Wedge.

1:27:15 Caller Yeah, because there was like the cool, with the preppy kids, the preppy kid band. That's the band that everybody would go see. That's the band would be playing all the cool parties and we'd be playing like in Club Q and like.

1:27:23 Adam When I was in high school, I was in a band called Fart with a PH.

1:27:26 Caller He was.

1:27:26 Adam Oh, that's right. I think we talked about that.

1:27:28 Caller I think we did, too.

1:27:29 Adam I thought it was a genius name. Yeah, and what year are we talking about? I mean, when you guys hit the road or when you were in high school?

1:27:41 Caller I guess junior in high school.

1:27:43 Adam I mean, what year on the calendar? Oh, all right. I was trying to think what mute is not like they're all in the flock of seagulls. No, it's not about 18 months ago. We'll take a little break. Newfound Glories here and we'll be back with your questions and comments after this.

1:27:59 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:28:24 Caller 947 NRK. Call Love Line. 1-800-LOVE-191. With Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla. On 947 NRK.

1:28:46 Adam Hey, it's Love Line, everybody. Jordan and Steve have joined us from Newfound Glory.

1:28:53 Caller Hello.

1:28:54 Adam Ian is still here playing the, doing the anchoring at the end of the desk there.

1:29:02 Guest What's up, bro?

1:29:03 Caller Say hi, Ian.

1:29:06 Adam Larry?

1:29:07 Yeah, hello.

1:29:08 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:29:09 Caller Yeah, like me and my girl just started having sex like a while ago.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah. You're on the toilet?

1:29:16 Caller Doing it right now, dude?

1:29:18 Caller No, I was like in my bed. Yeah. And like, yeah, she was a virgin and like still hurts like after like, we do it like five times and the five times it's hurting every time I put it in.

1:29:33 Drew How old is she?

1:29:35 Caller She's 17.

1:29:35 Adam You in the right hole?

1:29:37 Drew It hurt. It hurt.

1:29:38 Adam That happened to me the first five times.

1:29:40 Drew Tight is good. Tight is good.

1:29:41 Adam The dude was like, I mean, the chick.

1:29:44 Drew It hurts at the moment you penetrate and then keeps hurting or does it get better after a while?

1:29:48 Caller Well, there's a problem. Yeah. It starts hurting after a while, but then it goes away. But then she doesn't feel anything. She has like no sexual pleasures. I mean, what's wrong there, you know?

1:29:59 Use some lube.

1:30:01 Caller I did.

1:30:02 Adam Yeah, what happened? Didn't work?

1:30:04 Drew No, no, you mean she doesn't orgasm?

1:30:08 Caller No, she doesn't just feel anything. She doesn't feel any type of pleasure. You know, I'm not bad or anything. I'm not small.

1:30:14 Drew Listen, most 17 year old women don't have orgasms or intercourse, but they're not numb, but they're not numb. Do you really mean numb?

1:30:21 Caller Well, I asked her if she feels anything. She's like, well, you know, I don't really feel much like I really, I really wouldn't be able to orgasm out of it.

1:30:28 Drew I'm like, well, that's right. That's normal. But to feel nothing.

1:30:32 Adam Well, do you think she was traumatized in any way?

1:30:35 Caller Yeah. She was like abused when she was a child, but like not any penetration or anything like that.

1:30:41 Drew No, that can still do it. Sexual abuse of all types can cause a sort of a disconnect and pain, pelvic pain and things. And she may have some vaginismus, some spasm of the pelvic.

1:30:51 Adam I agree with Drew. You got to get her to blow you. I know where Drew's heading with this one.

1:31:00 Drew Richard. Possibly this will sort of improve with time if she feels more comfortable with you. But then if it isn't, she may have some needs for some more treatment.

1:31:08 Adam Can you go down on her?

1:31:10 Caller Yeah.

1:31:11 Adam Does she enjoy that?

1:31:12 Caller No.

1:31:13 Adam Okay, then don't do it because that's my policy. It's like, honey, unless this is heaven, I'm out of here. Let's not waste our time.

1:31:21 Caller One thing that is effective is like a rubbing thing.

1:31:24 Adam Yeah, yeah. Use your hand.

1:31:26 Caller Yeah, that gets, you know, that gets here, but.

1:31:28 Adam The nubby? Yeah, use the ring finger there. All right, Larry. Kevin?

1:31:35 Yes, sir.

1:31:36 Adam You're 34. What's up? How you doing?

1:31:39 Caller First of all, I want to give you guys props for what you're doing. I think Drew is very competent. I've checked out some of the advice that he's given, you know, some of your callers.

1:31:49 Adam You followed it up, huh?

1:31:51 Caller Yeah.

1:31:51 Adam Good.

1:31:52 Caller Good job, Drew. And yeah, Adam, you are just a funny dude, man. I really dig your style.

1:32:01 Drew Do you remember the last time we had this? It was at the end of a show and somebody started out like this and then just started laying into us.

1:32:07 Adam Yeah. It would always go south eventually.

1:32:10 Caller No, no, I'm totally on your side. All right.

1:32:11 Adam Well, thanks, Kevin. What's your question or comment?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah, I wanted to ask you something for a couple of years now back at the, I think it was the beginning of, yeah, the beginning of last year of 2000, I was dating a girl and she had this vaginal flatulence that was kind of peculiar to me.

1:32:32 Drew I think flatulence really implies methane, stinky gas.

1:32:36 Adam Yeah.

1:32:36 Caller Okay. Well, yeah, it was coming out of the other.

1:32:39 Adam It can't be the expulsion of air.

1:32:42 Drew That's just, that's just air being expelled.

1:32:45 Adam Like if you put a compressed air up your ass and then spit it back out.

1:32:48 Drew Wouldn't count.

1:32:49 Adam That's flatulence?

1:32:50 Drew No, wouldn't count.

1:32:50 Adam Technically, no.

1:32:51 Caller We all have methane poison from Ian's butt, like a third eye, call that a fart.

1:32:56 Adam How long would you have to hold on to the air that you put up your ass for it to officially be a fart? No, I just mean to be counted.

1:33:04 Drew Yeah.

1:33:04 Adam 15, 18 minutes.

1:33:06 Drew There should be some sort of officiating in this. Somebody that actually says, you did. You made it.

1:33:10 Adam Brown flag went up. That means that he jumped the gun.

1:33:13 Caller Well, I tell you, you could officiate the length and the amount of basically pussy farting that was going on with this girl.

1:33:22 Drew That's nice.

1:33:23 Adam But that's because your penis, and it really is, it's piston shaped. It has like a rod and a piston head on it. You know, and it's bigger at the top than it is in the middle. And you're just pumping air into her, and eventually it's going to come out.

1:33:41 Caller Well, I thought that, yeah, perhaps it's the position, because that's happened over the years. There's a few times, you know, you get in a certain position.

1:33:49 Drew Some women, it depends sort of how the landscape is laid out on the inside there. They're more amenable to air coming in and going out.

1:33:56 Adam Layla?

1:33:57 Caller Hello?

1:33:57 Adam You're 20? What's up?

1:34:00 Caller How are you guys doing?

1:34:01 Adam We're doing all right. How are you doing?

1:34:03 Caller I'm fine. I heard that caller, Nadine Collin, before. She sounded kind of young and like she was sort of like freaked out about how Arabs are being treated.

1:34:13 Adam Right.

1:34:14 Caller Well, because I'm Arab myself and I work at a Persian restaurant and so far, like all of our customers have been really supportive. Most of them are like white Americans. Yeah. I mean, I don't really like see any like mistreatment in the area that I live in, but I could feel for her as well. But I seem to be a bit more pragmatic about the issue.

1:34:35 Adam Well, I think you're just being generally more realistic about it, which is if it's there, you'll call it. But if it's not there, you won't manufacture it.

1:34:45 Caller Yeah. I mean, like my mom's friends who that during World War II, after it ended, the Germans here were being treated really badly.

1:34:54 Drew Yeah. Listen, Japanese and German were treated awfully.

1:34:57 Caller Exactly.

1:35:00 Adam And listen, anybody who doesn't think that's going to happen, that's human nature, man. You know what I'm saying?

1:35:08 Drew Yeah.

1:35:08 Adam I mean, a certain amount, it's not humans at their best.

1:35:11 Drew It's human nature, but thank God it's no longer America. Because America is many different looking kinds of people, many phenotypes.

1:35:20 Adam And I was saying to Drew, I don't know what anyone's nationality is by looking at them. I mean, do you know the difference between El Salvadorian and Nicaraguan or Mexican?

1:35:32 Drew No, I don't.

1:35:32 Adam Can you tell the difference?

1:35:34 Drew And the kids, a lot of the kids are multi-ethnic, the kids themselves.

1:35:37 Adam Yeah, they're mutts.

1:35:38 Caller People, and there's a lot of, you know.

1:35:41 Drew And my kids, my kids refer to brown and light kids. That's all they talk about. They go, this kid's kind of, they're scrubs. He's kind of brown.

1:35:48 Adam Your kids are easy to figure. They're cracker. They're like albino cracker honkotitis.

1:35:53 Caller This is the brown guy.

1:35:54 Caller He's still kind of brown.

1:35:56 Caller Yeah. We're all the same green hair.

1:35:57 Caller Cyrus likes lemon rice. Ian's more Samoan, though.

1:35:59 Drew Honkotitis.

1:36:00 Adam Yeah, I mean, your kids are serious honkies.

1:36:03 Caller Serious.

1:36:04 Adam We'll be back.

1:36:04 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

1:36:07 Caller So I was lucky on ice to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:36:10 Guest Why can't I meet anybody?

1:36:11 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:36:13 Guest So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy. I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:36:17 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking, too.

1:36:20 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:36:23 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:36:25 Caller We'll be right back.

1:36:27 Caller Loveline on 947NRK is brought to you by Car Toys.

1:36:58 Adam Well, there you have it, another fabulous episode of The Best of Loveline, safely behind us. I want to give a little tip of the hat to Stained, Linkin Park, System of a Down and Newfound Glory for joining us tonight, even though they weren't aware of it.

1:37:16 Drew And I'm sure they're appreciative of it too, though.

1:37:18 Adam Yeah.

1:37:18 Drew They didn't have to be here.

1:37:19 Adam No. But yet they went the extra mile because Anderson and producer Ann signed them up when they were unwilling to do it themselves. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:37:35 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, December 30, 2001