Episode 1000754886893

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Voiceover Yep, it is Loveline. I am Adam, that is Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. We can help you. Sum 41 will be in here tomorrow night. That's the band whose riff I like so much.

1:32 Drew Which one is that?

1:34 Adam I think Anderson has it somewhere.

1:37 Drew He has it nowhere.

1:37 Adam He has it nowhere. But it will pop up sometime in the middle of one of my rants before the night is true. We will hear the Dr. Drew boogie tonight.

1:46 Drew Oh.

1:47 Adam Because we did promise it to a caller a couple nights ago and then forgot all about it.

1:51 Drew How do you remember that?

1:54 Adam I don't know. I got home that night and I thought, geez, we're supposed to play that. And then a little bit later the next day, it bothered me.

2:03 Drew That was the Pennywise night. I think we were just glad to have gotten through that.

2:05 Adam Right. We were happy to make it out in one piece. But still, I don't like when someone calls in one something and then we don't do it. Unless it's entertainment. Well, in that case, game off. Game off. All right. So you ready to go here, Drew? Let's go. Matt?

2:21 Yeah.

2:21 Adam You're 15?

2:22 Caller Yep.

2:23 Adam What's up?

2:24 Caller I was just wondering how you guys felt about premarital sex.

2:27 Adam Fine.

2:27 Drew In what way? What do you mean?

2:30 Caller Well, do you guys say have sex before you're married or just go all out?

2:36 Drew Pretty much everyone does.

2:38 Adam The guys should, the girls shouldn't.

2:40 Drew Pretty much everyone does. It's relatively unusual that somebody makes it all the way until marriage.

2:46 Adam We would rather, listen, we don't really treat married or unmarried. We just treat whether you're in a relationship.

2:52 Drew And how old you are.

2:53 Adam Things are stable.

2:54 Drew Yes, how stable you are.

2:55 Adam You're not acting out.

2:56 Drew You're casting a play or not. You know, some people, their relationships are just a sort of a play that they've cast to reenact old traumas. But if you're 18, you're in a stable relationship, most countries in the world, at least Western European countries, Western countries would consider it a normal part of an 18-year-old relationship to grow into a physical relationship.

3:15 Adam And it could be younger. But also, we'd rather you do that than get married at 17 and a half.

3:22 Drew In order to have sex.

3:23 Adam Right.

3:24 Drew And what I think is clear is that people, their brain development is such that not able to handle the experiences associated with and the decisions associated with having sex before the age of 16.

3:36 Adam Matt? You're a virgin?

3:38 Caller Yes.

3:38 Adam You're religious?

3:39 Yeah. Yeah.

3:40 Caller That's why I was kind of asking.

3:42 I'm pretty religious.

3:43 Caller I mean, I've had sexual experiences and things, but...

3:47 You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

3:49 Drew What... Those were technicalities.

3:50 Adam What have you had?

3:52 Caller Oh, I got a hand job.

3:54 Adam Huh. That's nice. What was the guy's name?

3:57 Caller No. It was a girl, actually.

3:59 Adam I see. Drew, never got a hand job in my life.

4:02 Drew In your life?

4:03 Adam In my life.

4:04 Drew Good times.

4:06 Adam Yeah. Good times. Not for my penis. It's BJ or nothing. Yeah, that's my motto now.

4:12 Drew That's usually what you tell me when you meet them?

4:14 Adam That's right. First date. Hey, Matt.

4:17 Yeah.

4:18 Adam You have a girl now?

4:19 Caller No, I don't. I was just... I mean, I don't really see it that you need a girl. I mean, you go out to pick somebody up to talk, and you go for it, whatever.

4:26 Oh, Matt. You no good.

4:29 Drew What's up with you, Matt? I mean, what's up with him?

4:31 Adam You're religious.

4:32 Drew Yeah, but you're religious.

4:33 Caller Oh, I am. But I mean, I'm not like, oh, praise the Lord.

4:36 Thank you.

4:37 Drew Why don't you stay focused on A, not hurting other people and B, doing what's healthy. And doesn't sound like you're going down either of those paths right now.

4:45 Caller So, Ricky?

4:48 Yeah.

4:48 Adam You're 17?

4:49 Caller Yeah. I was wondering if bong water showed up on a drug test.

4:52 Drew If you drank it?

4:53 Caller Yeah, I drank it.

4:54 Drew Yes, it would.

4:55 Adam And also if you spill it on the actual drug test, I think it might come out positive.

4:59 Drew Yeah, it goes into the urine.

5:00 Caller Sure.

5:00 Yeah.

5:01 Drew But you can eat pot, you can drink pot. I mean, there's many ways you can get into your system.

5:06 Adam But water doesn't have a ton of weed in it, does it?

5:09 Drew I don't know.

5:09 I didn't get high off it.

5:11 Adam Why did you drink it then?

5:12 Caller Well, I was just trying to.

5:14 Drew Trying to get high.

5:15 I had nothing else.

5:16 Adam Why don't you just whack yourself over the head with the bong and get a little buzz?

5:19 Caller I tried that afterwards.

5:20 Drew How do you figure if you're getting high, it's not going to show up in your urine?

5:23 Adam He didn't get high.

5:24 Drew Yeah, but he was trying to. What was the logic he went through?

5:28 Caller I just walk around trying to.

5:29 I don't.

5:31 Drew Do you understand my question, Ricky?

5:33 Adam All right, forget the question. Can't you scrape resins like a good 17-year-old?

5:38 Drew No, he doesn't want the drug to show up in a urine test.

5:42 Adam Yeah, I know that's what his question is, but I'm saying to him, he wants to get high, he's drinking bong water like a retard.

5:47 Drew Yeah, because it had the magical high ingredient with nothing that would show up in the urine.

5:51 Adam Okay.

5:51 Drew If you're taking something that makes you high, it's going to show up in your urine, all right?

5:55 Adam But I didn't get high. Okay, so it won't show up. So what are you testing for? For a job. I see.

6:01 Drew I'm shocked.

6:01 Adam Interesting.

6:02 Drew Write that down.

6:02 Adam Job. What kind of job?

6:05 Caller Grocery store.

6:06 Adam They really do that at grocery stores these days, huh? All right. You have a problem with pot?

6:13 No.

6:13 Adam You have a problem getting it though.

6:15 That's true.

6:17 Drew Well, you seem to have a problem with it, right?

6:19 Yeah.

6:20 Drew You have such difficulty giving it up that you can't pass a planned drug test.

6:25 Adam Well, it's not like he mainlined the bong water, Drew, he just drank it.

6:31 Drew That's desperation.

6:32 Adam Yes, you've learned a valuable lesson, okay? How old was the bong water?

6:37 Oh, I don't know, a couple of weeks.

6:39 Adam Yeah. God knows what was floating around in there.

6:41 Yeah.

6:42 Adam Okay. So here's the deal. No more drinking bong water, right? Alright.

6:48 Caller Alright.

6:48 Adam And what about resin, seriously? Don't you guys scrape for those anymore?

6:52 No.

6:54 Caller That sounds like too much work.

6:56 Caller Oh, yeah.

6:57 Drew It's too high.

6:57 Yeah.

6:57 Adam Why scrape for resins when you can drink right out of the bong? Tina?

7:02 Caller Yeah.

7:02 Adam You're 26?

7:03 Caller Yep.

7:03 Adam What's up?

7:05 Caller I need some advice on what I should do with my boyfriend.

7:08 Adam Alright.

7:09 Caller First of all, I met him when he was in rehab. He was not working. We started going out. We've been out together for now for about two years.

7:18 Drew Now that means... Wait a minute. That means you were in rehab too.

7:21 Caller No, I wasn't. He was... I used to work at a bar and where he was staying at, they used to let him out on weekend passes. And of course they came to the bar and that's how I met him.

7:32 Drew Wait a minute. Addiction rehab?

7:35 Caller Yeah, he got out of jail early and attended this rehab. They kind of shortened his sentence by going to rehab.

7:43 Drew Yeah. Didn't you think perhaps there was something wrong with him when he was...

7:47 Adam Going into the bar on a weekend pass?

7:49 Caller Well, I didn't know that he was in rehab. I knew he lived in this house. A bunch of guys lived in this house. And I didn't know there was a rehab until I asked myself, What do you guys do here? Because it was run like a business.

8:01 Drew And then didn't you say, Hey, you're drinking.

8:05 Caller Yeah, I knew about that.

8:06 Adam All right. So you've been with this guy for two years.

8:09 Drew Tina's dad has to have been an alcoholic. Has to have been.

8:11 Adam Was your dad an alcoholic?

8:13 Caller My dad? Yeah. My father's side of the family.

8:17 Drew Has to be. So what you're looking for is an addict. It's so funny, when codependents go out and look for that person, they want them in their contained addiction phase. You know, if Tina were to take now her boyfriend to treatment, just get him back to the way he was when he was lurking around outside the rehab drinking. That's the kind of alcoholic I want.

8:35 Caller One thing is he's very hard headed. The current problem we have now is he's on probation. And part of his probation is that he has to have a full time job.

8:45 Drew What's he on probation for?

8:47 Caller Drug possession.

8:48 Adam Hey Tina, are you missing a leg or some teeth or grotesquely overweight? What's up with you? You can't just find a regular guy with a regular job who loves you? Is there something physically wrong with you?

9:03 Caller I don't think so.

9:05 Drew She has to have an alcoholic, a raging alcoholic like that.

9:07 Adam How about you go to Al-Anon and drop this guy?

9:12 Caller There's one more thing. We had a baby in Arizona.

9:16 Adam I was going to say if you tell me you guys had a kid, I was going to fly out to Arizona and hit you with a guitar on the head. El Cabong. What's that?

9:26 Caller Well the baby is not the problem.

9:28 Drew Of course not. That's an incidental issue. No problem there.

9:31 Adam Listen, that kid...

9:32 Drew It's a boy or a girl?

9:33 Adam You should put him in a wicker basket and send him down the Nile like Moses. He'd have a better chance. Screw balls. Alright, so now you got someone else to screw up. How about you don't screw the kid up anymore. You get out of this relationship.

9:48 Drew Here's what you do. Go to Al-Anon. We're not going to tell you what to do, except go to Al-Anon and you figure it out with a sponsor there, okay? That's what you do.

9:56 Adam Hey, Tina, it's not your decision anymore. It's for your kid. You understand? You don't have a choice. You go to Al-Anon.

10:04 Drew Yeah, exactly. It may be as you...

10:05 Adam Thank you.

10:06 Drew If you get better in Al-Anon, if you start getting into codependency recovery, he will freak out and it may actually force him to actually do something, to actually change and that would be the best thing for your child. Not just leaving him so you can go find another alcoholic, to have as a boyfriend, which is what you'll do if you don't go to Al-Anon.

10:22 Adam All right. Al-Anon. Right, Tina?

10:25 Drew 12 steps. There you go.

10:27 Adam That's it. That's the advice.

10:28 Drew Enjoy.

10:29 Adam We'll see you there.

10:30 Caller All right.

10:32 Adam Hey, Tina. I'm sorry you got crapped on growing up, but that doesn't give you the opportunity or the right to crap on another life, which is your young kid who then becomes society's problem.

10:42 Drew You gotta do the work.

10:43 Adam You're 26. You got your wits about you. Now start doing your goddamn work, all right?

10:49 Caller Idiot. That's funny.

10:50 Adam Ah, screw all you.

10:54 Caller Roya?

10:55 Hi.

10:55 Adam You're 15.

10:57 Caller Yeah.

10:57 Adam What's up?

10:58 Caller My friend, she's anorexic, and her stepmom knows about it, but her stepmom won't do anything about it.

11:05 Drew Where's her real mom?

11:06 Caller Um, I'm not sure. I think she, like, left when she was a kid or something, and her dad died.

11:12 Caller Oh.

11:13 Drew So she only has the stepmom?

11:15 Caller Yeah.

11:16 Caller And her stepmom is just like, well, it's your life, you know? You will learn your lessons yourself or something.

11:23 Oh, boy.

11:25 Adam Is this your best friend?

11:27 Caller Oh, it's a really close friend of mine.

11:30 Adam And, uh, what is she? Is she throwing up every day?

11:33 Caller Well, she just is always on diet pills, and she, like, never eats.

11:39 Adam Why don't you talk to a school counselor about it?

11:42 Caller Well, I would, but I'm out of school.

11:44 Drew Why are you out of school?

11:45 Adam Well, the summer, right? You out for the summer? Or do you get to go back next semester?

11:53 Caller Next semester?

11:54 Adam Yeah.

11:54 Caller School doesn't start until like August or September.

11:58 Adam Right. I mean, you didn't even thrown out or anything, right?

12:01 No.

12:02 Adam You graduated the 9th grade?

12:04 Caller Yes.

12:05 Adam Okay. Going on to the 10th?

12:07 Caller Yep.

12:08 Adam Good times? Okay. Now who can she talk to? I'm asking you, Drew.

12:15 Drew Mom's going to have to be involved in this.

12:17 Adam Really?

12:17 Drew Yeah.

12:17 Adam Why?

12:18 Drew How else can I pull it off otherwise, unless you want to go to some OA and overtake an anonymous type of community meeting? But have you tried to talk to the mom?

12:28 Caller Yeah. I've confronted the mom about it, and her mom is just like, oh, it's not my kid. I don't really have to worry about it or something like that.

12:35 Caller What?

12:36 Adam How about you convince her to go to an OA meeting?

12:40 Caller All right.

12:41 Drew This suddenly sounds bogus to me.

12:42 Adam Really? All right.

12:43 Drew It's not my kid? What does that mean?

12:45 Caller Well, she's just like, well, I mean, it's not her birth child. She's just...

12:50 Drew She explicitly said that. This is not that.

12:52 Caller Well, she's an alcoholic.

12:54 Adam Okay.

12:55 Drew Well, how about get her to Al-Anon then? That's some... Al-A-Teen. That's someplace she can go get some support and maybe get on the road. Al-A-Teen, you can go with her because you've got some co-dependency issues yourself.

13:04 Adam All right. Good times.

13:05 Caller Thanks for taking my call.

13:06 Adam Thank you for calling.

13:08 Caller Okay.

13:08 Adam All right.

13:09 Caller Bye.

13:09 Adam Take care of yourself.

13:10 Caller Okay.

13:11 Adam All right. Everyone go to Al-Anon, Al-A-Teen.

13:14 Drew I think it starts with alpha, beta, Albertsons.

13:18 Adam Go to Al Capone's vault.

13:19 Drew Al Capone, Alcatraz.

13:22 Adam Nicole?

13:23 Caller Hi.

13:23 Adam You're 14?

13:24 Caller Yeah.

13:24 Adam What's up, sister?

13:26 Caller I have a crush on my really good friend. I want to get with him so bad.

13:31 I just want to be his girlfriend, but I don't know how. Get with him.

13:35 Adam Can you turn down whatever's going on in the background, please?

13:38 Yeah.

13:38 Adam Idiot.

13:39 Okay. Sorry.

13:40 Adam Okay. She wasn't supposed to hear the idiot.

13:43 Sorry.

13:43 Adam Okay.

13:44 Drew Nicole, he probably isn't into that kind of relationship.

13:48 Adam Don't burst your bubble. Maybe he is.

13:50 Well, we hit the girlfriend right now.

13:51 Drew Yeah.

13:52 Adam I mean, it's not you, right?

13:54 Right.

13:54 Drew Therefore, he's not into that kind of relationship.

13:57 Adam Well, not with her. How long have you been friends with him?

14:01 Like three months since I moved out to California.

14:03 Adam What got you two together?

14:06 We ran into each other in the hallway.

14:08 Drew You were really attracted to him?

14:09 Well, I just thought he was really cute.

14:11 Drew As opposed to being really attracted?

14:13 Adam Right. I just thought he was really cute.

14:14 Drew Okay. Then when he wouldn't respond, well, I'll be his friend anyway.

14:19 Adam What did he do? What happened?

14:23 When we met, we just started hanging out as friends.

14:25 I didn't tell him. He doesn't know that I like him.

14:27 Drew Yeah. That's the point.

14:28 Adam Did he have a girlfriend at the time? He did.

14:31 He's had a girlfriend the whole time I've known him.

14:33 Adam He's always had one.

14:34 Drew You never know. Sometimes it could be a bullpen.

14:38 Adam What does the girlfriend think about him hanging out with you?

14:42 Caller She doesn't think much of it.

14:43 Caller She thinks it's pretty cool.

14:46 Drew We wouldn't consider that a good sign.

14:47 Caller But she doesn't. We talk.

14:49 Drew Most women have a spidey sense when there's a potential competitor around.

14:53 Adam Yeah. It tingles. Nicole?

14:56 Caller Yeah?

14:57 Adam This friend, the girlfriend, is your age too?

15:01 Caller Yeah.

15:01 Adam Goes to the same school? No. Interesting. Out of the picture. How often do those two see each other?

15:09 Like twice a week.

15:10 Adam Does she live in town?

15:11 Caller Yeah.

15:13 Adam And she's got no problem with you?

15:15 Caller No.

15:17 Adam That could be good and it could be bad. I mean, she should perceive you as a little bit of a threat.

15:23 Caller Right.

15:24 Adam Maybe he's convinced her otherwise or maybe Nicole's not threatening looking or doesn't have that vibe to her.

15:29 Drew Yeah. She doesn't see him responding to her.

15:32 Adam How about you float this one? We haven't done this one a while. What if you say to him, look, I'm glad to be your friend and I'd like to continue being your friend, but you know, I also have an interest in you. And I understand you're in a relationship. But I'm just giving you some notice. And if you know, I don't want to break you two up. But if things go south, maybe we'll go out, see a movie.

15:54 Well, yeah, my friend was talking to him and he said that he he thinks I'm hot, but you know, I don't know.

16:00 Caller I don't want to break them up.

16:01 Drew No, you just put him on notice. Put him on notice. That's all. That's it. All right. And if he's interested, he'll respond. If he's not, he ain't. Okay.

16:10 Adam Okay. But listen, don't get into that thing where he gives you some finger banging in the back of a parked car and then goes back to her.

16:18 Drew Yeah. All right. You got to finish that one up first.

16:20 Adam You don't put out. Yeah.

16:21 Drew I love you.

16:22 Adam I'm loving you, baby.

16:23 All right.

16:23 Drew Did you say Adam Corolla on your shoes? Yeah.

16:26 Adam Oh, nice.

16:26 No, I got a picture off the Internet and I put it on my wall.

16:29 Adam Sweet.

16:30 Drew Oh my God. Doesn't scare your friends?

16:32 No.

16:33 Adam Fourteen, man. Just a couple of years older. I'd be all over that. There's a little Sum 41 for you, Nicole. Thanks. Yeah. I love him. Yeah, she loves him.

16:42 Caller Is this that riff you like?

16:45 Caller That's it?

16:47 Adam Yeah, this is the riff. What do you think?

16:50 Drew I imagine they have other riffs. I was asking if this is the one you like.

16:52 Adam One riff wonder. I see this video on MTV. It's a good video. You don't see it, Anderson. You don't like it. Anderson's a snob over there. We'll make sure and tell the band you put that post on when I said that.

17:07 Drew Charlotte.

17:08 Caller Hi.

17:09 Adam What's up?

17:10 Caller The other day, I left my swimsuit at my boyfriend's house.

17:13 Drew Your swimsuit?

17:14 Caller Yeah, because he has a hot tub. I was thinking just bringing it over and I have a couple of them, so I left one there and I went to his house yesterday to like surprise visit him. And I walked in his room and he was wearing it and he was masturbating.

17:28 Drew Oh boy. Sweet.

17:29 Caller He had it out like through the leg. It was erect and he was like masturbating and it was so weird.

17:36 Adam That's love.

17:37 Caller And I don't know what to say to him. And then today when I went over there, he didn't have a shirt on and I could see the elastic mark that he had been wearing it again.

17:44 Adam Did he know that you saw tan lines on him?

17:49 Drew Did he know that you saw him?

17:51 Caller I saw him the first time.

17:52 Drew The first time. Does he know that you saw him?

17:54 Caller Yeah.

17:55 Drew How did he react?

17:56 Caller He was kind of like, oh my god. He didn't really say anything.

18:00 Drew And then what? You went out to the movies afterwards? How did that go down?

18:04 Caller I left the room for him to put his clothes back on and we just hung out for the rest of the day.

18:10 Drew Didn't you have a weird feeling the rest of the day?

18:12 Caller Yeah. When I went and saw him today, it was kind of awkward. I mean, I want to say something, like ask him not to do that and stretch it out. But it's like really weird to be around him. Like it's weird when he tries to kiss me and be close.

18:26 Adam Yeah.

18:27 Caller It's kind of awkward because I keep thinking, Oh my God, he wore my bathing suit.

18:31 Adam Probably got one of your tampons up him too. Hang on a second. I don't know what's wrong with these morons, with the getting popped, masturbating.

18:41 Drew Under any circumstances.

18:42 Adam Here's the deal. I whack off. I lock the door. I whack off in a girlfriend's bikini. I put a player piano in front of the door.

18:49 Drew And paint the windows.

18:50 Adam Paint the windows. Put up some plywood. Yeah. Basically, I treat that room as if a hurricane was blowing into town.

19:00 Drew Right. There's got to be some voyeuristic need and all that. Then you think you can say there's got to get caught.

19:05 Adam Some danger.

19:06 Drew Danger. They want to be seen.

19:08 Adam See if we can get one with the door open. But do they really want to be caught?

19:12 Drew I think they want to be seen.

19:15 Adam Well, that's being caught.

19:16 Drew You know what I mean? I don't think they do the logic quite that far. It's an impulse. You know what I mean?

19:21 Adam Right. But do you think it's a subconscious thing?

19:24 Drew Yes. I do. It's an attitude. Because if anybody really didn't want to get caught, it would be barricading the house.

19:30 Adam So was the door just open or did you walk in and open the door?

19:34 Caller It was locked. But it's one of the old locks where you just push the button in and you turn it twice to the left and once to the right and it will pop. It was one of those. He was like, hold on, hold on. I was like, what do I have to wait for? I walked in and there he was. It was really strange.

19:49 Adam Wall buster.

19:50 Drew He didn't stop. He didn't dive into it.

19:54 Adam Well, he was probably scrambling a little, wasn't he?

19:57 Drew Yeah.

19:57 Adam It wasn't mid-stroke. That's going to leave scars. And her and Charlotte. You don't wear a thong back, do you?

20:05 Caller No. I didn't leave that one there.

20:07 Adam Good. Sweet, sweet. Oh, man. And then you just sort of carried on. He didn't try to explain it?

20:14 Caller He didn't explain it. I just told him, I was like, guys do weird things sometimes. It's like, it's all right.

20:19 Adam Yeah.

20:21 Caller I was only mad because he stretched it out, but it's still kind of awkward and I keep thinking about it.

20:26 Drew How's he otherwise?

20:27 Caller Other than he's really nice.

20:29 Adam Do you have sex with him?

20:30 Caller Yeah.

20:31 Drew How's that go?

20:32 Caller It's great.

20:35 Adam He puts on your cheerleading outfit and then he goes at it?

20:38 Caller No, but I was teasing him today. I was doing laundry and I grabbed my other swimsuit. I was like, come on, I'll play lifeguard.

20:44 Drew He must love that.

20:46 Caller It kind of looked like he was in pain.

20:49 Adam And then was it the next day or later on in the week you saw him with the elastic?

20:54 Caller That was today I saw him with that. I caught him yesterday and I saw the marks today and I asked him about it. And he was like, oh no, I was sitting on some wicker chair.

21:03 Adam Yeah, good comeback.

21:05 Caller No, it was like, wait, I know how the elastic looks and the stitch lines and everything, it's my swimsuit.

21:10 Drew And he wouldn't let go, he wouldn't let go.

21:12 Adam But you don't sound thoroughly freaked out by it.

21:15 Caller Oh, but it's still weird though.

21:17 Adam Yeah, it's a little weird. It's a little weird. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, when I was 7, well let me make sure of this, how old is this guy?

21:25 Caller He's 17.

21:26 Adam Yeah, when I was 17.

21:27 Drew No, don't tell me.

21:29 Adam I could have involved the bathing suit in some way, but I wouldn't have put the top on. That's for goddamn sure. I may have looked at the bottoms a little. He had the top on too. Yeah. Charlotte?

21:43 Caller Yeah.

21:43 Drew He had the top on too?

21:44 Caller Yeah, both pieces.

21:47 Adam You don't have a one-picer you could leave over there, give him his dignity?

21:50 Caller I asked him if he wanted the one piece, he said no.

21:53 Drew They're just incredible, incredible things that people do and to me I flashed to the guys pretending they're ponies that they've S&M people act out with.

22:02 Adam Yeah.

22:03 Drew To me is that. This is that. What is that? What is that? There's somewhere in there there's some immense pain.

22:09 Adam Do you think so? I mean are we making too much out of it?

22:13 Drew As you and I both know these things don't exist as a separate solo process. You know I'm saying? They're not just about the bathing suit. It's an integrated phenomenon the rest of their person. They may be great people.

22:24 Adam Top makes me nervous but they may be fine. I'm seventeen. I could have got a wild hair.

22:30 Drew And there's nothing wrong with them per se. But it still suggests that there's something very painful that they're sort of responding to.

22:37 Adam Yeah. I'm gonna give this one a five on the four and a half five. Crap-o-meter.

22:41 Drew It doesn't mean he's a bad partner. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Nothing to do with the sexual orientation.

22:47 Adam I could overlook this one. You know why?

22:50 Drew Because you did.

22:51 Adam I love a bathing suit.

22:52 Drew You love a man in a bikini?

22:54 Adam I love a man in a smart two-piece. No, I like a woman in a bikini. I know all guys do, but what I'm saying is there's some guys who'd like, you know, they're like a lingerie. Or they like a kind of stripper outfit.

23:08 Drew No, no, no.

23:08 Adam Like something a little trashier, a little naughtier.

23:10 Drew If you grew up in Southern California.

23:12 Adam Bikini. I mean, did you remember hitting the beach at 15, 16?

23:16 Drew Cool.

23:17 Adam And just watching them go by?

23:18 Drew Cool.

23:19 Adam You know, and especially when the oil comes out, you know when it starts glistening, brown skin, you want to know what the best look is too? It's the bikini with the tennis shoes. Not the bikini and those big novelty stripper wedgies, big chunks of lucite.

23:38 Drew Just the vans.

23:38 Adam I'm talking, no, better than vans. You know, it used to be hot. And this is, I'm dating myself. But remember those Reebok high tops that all those chicks used to wear? They had the two things, a velcro strap on the top. They're kind of soft leather tennis shoes. Nothing better.

23:53 Drew With leg warmers.

23:54 Adam Oh please. Please don't screw with this. Don't turn this into a mockery. Let me tell you what the best look is, Drew. You're at the beach, hot day. Chicks laying out, sunning, oiling, whole bit. Then they get up and they're making a snack bar run. They slide those little high tops on. Don't tie them, just kind of tuck the laces in and start making the way up to the pavement to get in line. That is a good look. That is a great look.

24:21 Drew The thing is that's because that's what was emblazoned in your soul. You stood there on the boardwalk just staring out at the sand and watching them come towards you. Yeah.

24:29 Adam Oh no, I was beating off from in the men's room.

24:31 Drew Yeah, but they're still looking out towards the water.

24:33 Adam Yeah, that is so good, that bathing suit thing.

24:36 Drew Oh my god, these things get stuck in our head. It's bad.

24:40 Adam It's in my craw. There's only one way to get it out. Blast it out with semen. All right, we'll take a little break. We'll come back.

24:50 Hello, what is this?

24:51 This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:54 Caller Loveline will be right back.

25:14 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. There's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Little something from the cult in here earlier this week. No, last week. Wow, this week's flying, Drew. Sum 41 is going to be in here tomorrow night.

25:36 There they is.

25:37 Adam Love that riff. Let me just enjoy that a little bit. Just thinking about those bikinis while I was urinating during the break.

25:53 Drew Really? Could you... You're okay?

25:57 Adam Putting together a theme for tonight when I get home.

25:59 Drew A bikini theme?

26:00 Adam Yeah, a little bikini. Michael?

26:04 Yeah.

26:04 Adam You're 31?

26:07 Caller What's that?

26:07 Adam You're 31. What's up?

26:09 Caller Um, yeah, I was just wondering if there was... my relationship, if there was any real love in there, because...

26:14 Adam No.

26:15 Caller For our relationship, for six months, everything seemed to be pretty much good all the time, and she'd tell me that she loved me and that she thought I was intelligent and a great guy and perfect for her, and then all of a sudden, you know, we break up, and I'm just trying to figure out if there was any real love there, or if it was just...

26:31 Adam It was a charade built on a foundation of marzipan.

26:35 Drew Michael, what do you figure that if you love someone, you can't break up with them?

26:39 Caller No, I don't figure that at all.

26:41 I'm just...

26:43 Caller I guess I'm just trying to deal with this myself and figure out, you know, if any of it was real, or if it was just because I loved her more than anyone else has, and she's only been in one other serious relationship where someone... She loved someone and they didn't reciprocate the love.

26:58 Adam How old is she?

27:00 Caller She's 21.

27:02 Drew What are you dealing with someone so young for?

27:03 Adam Yeah, that's tough.

27:05 Drew Why so young?

27:08 Caller It wasn't my intention to meet someone so young. It's just we had met and then we went out, and everything seemed to be really good. We enjoyed doing a lot of stuff together.

27:17 Drew What do you understand? You felt close to her when you were dating her. She said she loved you. You enjoyed her company. What are you trying to do now? What's the big deal?

27:25 Adam Well, he's freaked out.

27:26 Drew He's hard-frozen. No, she left, right? She fell out of love, or she changed her feelings, or something happened, and now she left. So what is there to figure out?

27:36 Caller So the simple thing is, since she decided that I'm not the right one, it doesn't matter why or anything else, it just matters that it's over now. Yeah. It doesn't matter if there was any love before.

27:46 Adam Well, no.

27:47 Drew No. What do you think breaks relationships up, Michael?

27:53 Adam Well, hold on, Michael. It's not like you're going to sue her if we find some evidence of love in the past.

27:58 Drew Yeah. People have varying capacity for love. To her sense of that experience, she was in love for a while and then not.

28:05 Adam Why did, Drew, please leave the guy alone. He's heartbroken. Why did she say she wanted to break up?

28:12 Caller One of the reasons is because at first she thought that I was very intelligent, but then she decided that education is important to her, and since I'm not educated and she is educated, then she doesn't feel like we can, she can talk to me like she can talk to her girlfriend who has taken the same classes that she has.

28:33 Adam Nah, that ain't it. What else?

28:36 Caller Also because she says that she thinks that I'm insecure.

28:41 Drew Well, you're telling us that already.

28:43 Adam She may have a point. Hold on, Michael, I got a good fart coming on now.

28:47 Caller Hold on.

28:52 Adam That's funny, right, Michael?

28:54 Caller Yeah, that's funny. I mean, I'm being a little more serious and I understand.

28:57 Adam Well, I understand, but if you were more secure, you'd be laughing.

29:00 Caller I love you.

29:02 Adam Okay. I feel for you, Michael, and Drew does too. He's just giving you a little tough life.

29:07 Caller No, no, no. I just want some good advice. I just want you guys to set me straight on this.

29:14 Adam We will. We're going to do that.

29:16 Caller I have a better understanding.

29:17 Adam Quiet down. We're going to set you straight. How long ago did you guys break up?

29:22 Caller We broke up like three weeks ago.

29:25 Adam Have you spoken to her since?

29:27 Caller Yes. We had talked like a week ago, week and a half ago.

29:32 Adam That was you initiating it, right?

29:35 Caller No, that was her calling me. To see how everything was going and see how I was doing and this and that.

29:41 Drew What did you tell her?

29:41 Adam Is that her returning your call?

29:44 Caller No. She had called me the Saturday before. I returned the call and I was not home.

29:49 Drew Did you totally freak out on her when she broke up?

29:52 Caller No, I did not.

29:53 Adam Okay. She understands you like to get back together.

29:59 Caller Yes. She knows that I care about her a lot. You know, and I feel like she cares about me too. But I almost feel like it's the fact that she's so young also.

30:11 Drew Yeah, that is part of it.

30:13 Adam So Michael, here's the ultimate truth in this. And it's a horrible, horrible, bless you, Drew. It's a horrible bottom line.

30:21 Drew She's not with Michael.

30:23 Adam Whatever reasons it is, whatever, whether she loved you, whether she never loved you.

30:27 Drew Whether she has a brain tumor.

30:29 Adam Whether it has to do with your prior education, whatever it is, she's out.

30:33 Drew She's done, yeah.

30:34 Adam And when you're out, you're out and that's it. And you can strategize and come up with all the angles you want. You can go back and sift through everything you've ever said to her and everything you've ever done. But it doesn't change the fact that it's out.

30:49 Drew Now you need, you seem to need to soil this relationship in some way in order to get over it. And I think that's a huge mistake. It had value. It was great while you were in it. There were real feelings there and they changed. And that's the way feelings are.

30:59 Adam And you'll find somebody else. And the worst thing you can do is to, you know, get drunk and make a scene.

31:05 Caller Yeah, no, I quit drinking. I mean, I haven't been drinking.

31:09 Adam There you go.

31:10 Drew He wants to keep going.

31:11 Adam I hate this too. Is that Minka I see on the computer over there?

31:14 Drew Oh, Adam. Do you have a bikini on?

31:19 Adam Hold on a second. Would you move your head, goofball? I can't see Minka. Who is number one? Minka is number one. That's who is number one.

31:26 Drew How do you tell that that's Minka from here?

31:29 Adam I got good eyes when it comes to big boobs.

31:31 Caller Oh my God.

31:32 Adam I'm looking at a computer screen that's turned at a bad angle from 25 feet away. I just looked up. I saw Minka.

31:40 Drew Yeah, you saw like a three inch figurine of her at 400 yards.

31:43 Adam That's right. I got an eagle eye when it comes to Minka.

31:47 Drew Oh my God.

31:47 Adam She's the number one Asian big boob queen.

31:49 Drew You're like a hawk looking for a field mouse.

31:51 Number one Asian big boob queen.

31:54 Drew Three hundred feet over the surface of the earth, you found it.

31:56 Adam I think I'm most curious about with Minka. She used to play professional tennis, but I'm not sure if she does anymore.

32:02 Caller Don't play tennis no more.

32:04 Adam No, I see.

32:05 Drew What was her coach told her?

32:07 Don't play tennis no more.

32:08 Drew No, no, he said to Minka, you be you should be important.

32:11 Adam He doesn't have that on a drop, does he? All right. More great radio from Dr. Drew, everybody. Whenever you have a gut feeling, ignore it. Ignore it, take another call. Okay. What is Minka doing on that computer screen, Anderson?

32:26 Caller Our new screeners hadn't seen her and I was just showing them. It's actually working tonight, so I put it on.

32:31 Adam Nice. John?

32:33 Caller Yes.

32:33 Adam You're 23?

32:34 Caller Yes.

32:34 Adam I've just shifted themes, by the way. I'm going Minka when I get home, not Bikini.

32:39 Caller I see that.

32:39 Caller Okay.

32:40 Adam What's up, John?

32:41 Caller Okay. Just a question. When I had something that happens to me, my wife goes down, gives me a BJ. I ejaculate.

32:49 Adam Hold on, hold on.

32:51 Ejaculate.

32:52 Adam Yes, keep going.

32:54 Caller I am immediately able to continue and have intercourse or whatever at that point.

32:58 Drew You don't lose your erection.

32:59 Caller Exactly.

33:00 Adam All right.

33:00 Drew That's fine. You're 23. This will end soon.

33:02 Adam Enjoy it.

33:03 Drew Enjoy it for a couple years.

33:04 Caller But any other method that I ejaculate, whether it be intercourse or any other way, I, that's not the case.

33:11 Drew Is oral sex more arousing to you in some way?

33:14 Caller Actually, it seems like it's less.

33:15 Drew That's right. You're less depleted in some way.

33:18 Adam We couldn't hang, John.

33:19 Caller What's that?

33:20 Adam We couldn't hang, me and you. We just could not hang out.

33:23 Caller Sorry.

33:24 Adam Maybe like an Arab and a Jew. Just we have fundamental differences. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but we just could not hang out. So you then have intercourse and you have another ejaculation with the same erection.

33:37 Caller Correct.

33:38 Adam Yeah, that's good. All right. Well, you're not working as hard either. I mean, you're not physically spent. Some guys in order to have an ejaculation through intercourse, they're going at it for 15 or 20 minutes, they're burning a few calories, they're tired. Good times there, Jeff. Enjoy that penis of yours. Also, I'm trying to think, but there may be something to being on your back as opposed to sort of leaning forward on your knees.

34:09 Drew Whatever.

34:10 Adam Yeah. It's not a good boner position.

34:13 Drew I'm not sure there's something worth spending a lot of time thinking about.

34:15 Adam Well, I'm just talking about me.

34:16 Drew I know.

34:17 Adam Do you know what I mean?

34:18 Drew Yeah. You go thinking your own time. That's good.

34:20 Adam But do you know what I'm saying? You're on your back.

34:24 Drew But not everyone of those lazy as you are.

34:26 Adam Oh, really?

34:27 Caller No.

34:28 Drew I'm sorry.

34:29 Adam If I wasn't so lazy, I'd look into that. Ryan?

34:34 Caller Hey.

34:34 Adam Hey, you're 19.

34:37 Caller Hey, I was just calling to Adam. First of all, you're awesome.

34:40 Adam Yeah.

34:40 Caller You're a very, very funny guy.

34:42 Adam Thanks. That feels good.

34:43 Caller I saw your partner Jimmy on Letterman tonight.

34:46 Oh, yeah.

34:46 Caller How was that? Also a very funny guy. Yeah. I was kind of calling to talk to Dr. Drew.

34:53 Hold on.

34:53 Adam How was Jimmy on Letterman tonight?

34:55 Caller He was pretty good. I saw him his first time, and it almost seemed like Letterman was scared of him.

35:01 Drew First time or this time?

35:03 Caller The very first time I saw him.

35:04 Drew He was scared?

35:05 Caller He was taking off his clothes.

35:06 Adam Right.

35:07 Caller Yeah. This time he seemed pretty good. Letterman enjoyed him. It was a good time.

35:12 Adam Yeah. I heard it was good. I talked to Jimmy earlier today, but I haven't been home yet, so I haven't seen it. Actually, I'm not going to see it until tomorrow. But I'm glad you brought it up. Partner, life partner, and business partner, Jimmy Kimmel from The Man Show, and also the Fox Morning Show, pregame football show will be on Letterman tonight. Thank you. Anyway, what's your question, Ryan?

35:36 Caller Okay, I was kind of calling to talk to Dr. Drew about what his opinion was on the correlation between attention deficit disorder and addiction.

35:46 Drew The same. Pretty much everyone with addiction has ADD of some type.

35:50 Caller You think so?

35:51 Drew Absolutely. Once we figure out what the genetic precursors are to these diseases, you'll see they'll be the same.

35:56 Adam Yeah, and we'll start killing you guys at birth.

35:58 Drew No. Well, there was a while when people were thinking that way.

36:01 Adam Yeah. Why not?

36:02 Drew But yeah, ADD, all addicts have ADD. All of them. And you cannot treat them. I mean, you don't. The treatment for the ADD in addiction is treating the addiction. Period. You do not take medication.

36:14 Adam What do you got? You got them both, right?

36:16 Caller Well, no. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was like, I don't know, like 10 or 11 or something. And over the last like two or three years, I've been getting into the drug scene.

36:28 Drew Yeah, well, there you go. So it's just don't take stimulants for the ADD. Don't do it ever.

36:35 Caller Like Ritalin and things like that.

36:36 Drew Before the age of 18, it turns out that it's actually helpful. It's bizarre. The addicts, it looks like before the age of 18, if they take Ritalin, it doesn't do anything to their addictive disease and may significantly improve their symptoms of ADD and actually improve their personality development, their coping strategies, their performance academically. So there is precedent to treating them before the age of 18. But at 18, because of the way the brain changes, we don't really know what that change is, you got to get off that stuff.

37:01 Adam Well, you said 18. Did you say 16 earlier or has it always been 18?

37:05 Drew 18.

37:06 Adam Alright, so that's the age.

37:07 Drew 18, stimulus till 18, that's it.

37:09 Adam And then what?

37:10 Drew Then get the addiction treated or wait for your addiction to really play out and then get it treated.

37:14 Adam Oh, what if you don't have anything? What if you just got ADD and you're not out hooked on anything?

37:18 Drew Oh, then you stand, then stimulus are fine.

37:20 Adam Oh really?

37:20 Oh yeah.

37:21 Adam After 18?

37:22 Caller Yep.

37:23 Adam Well, that's different.

37:24 Drew Yep, it is different. And if you have to be on treatment, Clonidine, Welbutrin, these things are the way to go.

37:30 Adam Good times. Dr. Drew is here handing out the solid advice and because of that we're going to hear the Dr. Drew Boogie when we get back.

37:44 Uh, back in a minute.

38:11 Caller Yeah, everybody on the floor, this is Ice-T.

38:13 Caller You're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

38:16 Caller Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

38:20 Adam He ain't lying. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Why don't we hear a little of that Dr. Drew boogie? You know, we'd promised to play it for a caller earlier in the week, as usual. We didn't deliver. And now it's time, and this is dedicated to What's-Her-Nose, who called up and wanted to hear it two days ago.

38:44 Drew Ow! You know, peon this makes me sick. Can I say that? You're a lesbian.

39:43 Adam Is that the, oh, nice little add on there.

39:45 Drew Dr. Drew's brothers?

39:46 Adam Is that Dr. Drew's brothers? Dr. Drew is right?

39:48 Drew I don't say that enough. You're sick.

39:51 Adam No, I'd like to hear more of that out of you.

39:53 Drew I mean, I really let that go.

39:55 Adam Speaking of sick, our security guard, I think, has narcolepsy.

40:00 Drew He has sleep apnea.

40:01 Adam Is that what he has?

40:03 Drew Maybe the listener has to listen.

40:04 Adam Well, that's what I'm getting at. Now, as you know, Anderson is shaking his head because he doesn't want to stand up a third time now. But a year, maybe two years ago, we had the same guard. And he dozes off in the entryway on the sofa. And he's so loud that it's very comical to hear him snore. And I thought the audience would get a kick out of that. So we took a 20-foot mic extension. And I snuck the mic around. It's scary because he's a big guy. But I slid the mic right up as close to him as I could get. And then we just kind of checked into it. It's the night we're on. Now I think he might have gotten fired or suspended last time we did this. But it was still funny and well worth it.

40:50 Drew Here's the thing about him though. Whenever we go outside, he lurks with us.

40:53 Adam Oh yeah.

40:54 Drew He's on top.

40:54 Adam He's a demon. He's a demon. And anyone out there is thinking about giving us a hard time. He's an animal. But he's sawing some pretty good logs now. I'd like to check in on that. Anderson?

41:04 Caller I'm shaking my head because he says he works like 12 hour days. Then he comes over here. I just feel bad for the dude.

41:09 Adam I know. But it's still funny.

41:12 Caller But it's not funny when he doesn't show up for like three months after that. Well, I mean, it's too late now. We've been talking about it.

41:19 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. That's a good point. But get that 20 foot mic cord and let's just see where this goes. Can we do that? We'll take a call and grab that cord. Let me just try sneaking out there. All right. Okay. We'll take some calls in the meantime. We'll keep you posted. Yeah. You're 40? Yeah. What's up?

41:41 Caller Going on there. How are you doing, dude?

41:43 Adam Good. Are you high?

41:46 Caller I'm tired, man.

41:47 Adam Neat.

41:48 Caller You're out of work.

41:49 Drew And high.

41:50 Adam Tired and high?

41:51 Caller A little bit.

41:52 Drew Yeah.

41:52 Adam All right. It's not noticeable if you're curious. Oh, really?

41:57 I'm a little nervous there.

41:58 Drew We had no idea.

41:59 All right.

41:59 Adam So what's the question?

42:01 Caller What's the question? Is it kind of sick if I like to masturbate outdoors? Sure. Let mosquitoes bite my dick while I do it.

42:11 Adam I see. That's perfectly fine.

42:14 Caller That's normal?

42:15 Adam That is totally normal.

42:16 Drew Enjoy.

42:17 Adam And when you keep doing that.

42:18 Drew And when you get West Nile fever or encephalitis, just let us know.

42:22 Adam Well, you could get that if a mosquito landed on your arm, couldn't you?

42:26 Drew Yeah, but you're trying not to have mosquitoes land and bite. It sounds like you're sort of suggesting he does that.

42:31 Adam Well, who are we to take away the guy's muse?

42:35 Drew Yeah.

42:35 Adam He's got a dream. Let him live it. John? Yeah. You're 38?

42:40 Caller Yeah, I am.

42:40 Adam What's up?

42:44 Caller I had back surgery, three levels of back surgery about five, six years ago. And after that, they had me prescribed taking Dilaudid. And well, my body decided that came to like the Dilaudid quite a bit and have come to become addicted to the Dilaudid.

43:10 Adam Yeah. It seems like a pretty addictive drug, isn't it, Drew?

43:13 Drew Profoundly.

43:15 Caller Yeah, real profoundly. Like nothing like I found even with taking like Oxycontin or anything like that.

43:21 Drew All the other stuff he's tried.

43:23 Adam Right.

43:23 Caller Yeah, not even like other, you know, what they would call it.

43:27 Drew So what's the question?

43:28 Caller Well, the question is, I want to get clean and I've tried just going cold turkey and have not had very good success.

43:36 Drew How many times have you been in treatment?

43:38 Caller Yes, I have. What happens? Well, I've been on 80 to 100 milligrams a day of the Dilaudid.

43:47 Drew What happened in treatment?

43:49 Caller I couldn't make it through the cold turkey, the diarrhea, the vomiting. I just got out.

43:55 Drew How were you being treated at the time?

43:56 Caller Just cold turkey.

43:58 Drew They weren't treating you with any other medication?

44:00 Caller No, they just tried.

44:01 Drew Oh, you need to go, oh yeah, that's other medicine. And what else?

44:05 Caller That's it.

44:06 Drew Well, there's a number of other medications they can use, at least six or seven that can help with the withdrawal.

44:11 Caller I wanted to ask you about the buprenax.

44:14 Drew Yeah, buprenax is fine, but people get strung out on buprenax too. And you got to understand, getting off the dilated is the easiest thing. As miserable as it is, it's actually easier than the process of staying off it. And that's where the real work needs to be done. If you want to come off on buprenax, fine. Make sure it's someone who really knows what they're doing with it and make sure you're in a program and that you stay there for at least a couple months afterwards. At least chronic pain and opiate addiction is one of the more difficult and more common combinations out there and takes many months to treat.

44:44 Adam Is this Anna?

44:45 Caller Uh-huh.

44:46 Adam Wow. Interesting spelling there. You're 19. What's up?

44:50 Caller Okay. Like a couple weeks ago, I was over visiting my aunt and uncle. And like I'm moving out of my house in a couple weeks and I was talking about how hard it was going to be for me to pay rent. And this was just me and my uncle, my aunt actually wasn't home. And he started talking about how it would be really easy for him to get me like a sugar daddy. And I'm not sure if he was talking about himself or like one of the guys from work. And I was like, no, no, you know, I don't, you know, I don't think I could get one. He was like, no, really, I know that you could get one. I was like wondering like what I should do or what that means.

45:23 Drew What is with your uncle?

45:24 Adam Yeah. What a lovely, lovely individual. Why were you over there in the first place?

45:29 Caller Um, actually I was looking for, um, I was using the computer because I'm selling my car.

45:34 Drew He's not the one who's related to you by blood, is he?

45:36 Caller No, he's, um.

45:37 Drew He's married to your mother's sister.

45:39 Caller He's married to my mom's sister, right.

45:40 Adam Yeah.

45:41 Caller Right.

45:41 Adam Yeah.

45:42 Drew What a dick. Here, he's sick. Here we go. I'm feeling good.

45:45 Adam Go sick, Drew.

45:46 Caller It's sick.

45:47 Adam He's an idiot.

45:47 Drew He's an asshole.

45:48 Adam And we, we, we wonder about your aunt too for marrying this piece of work.

45:53 Caller Actually, he was like our next door neighbor, like my grandma and grandpa lived in this house.

45:56 Drew Did he ever do anything to you when you were growing up? Oh, my God. This guy's got to be shot.

46:02 Caller No. Okay. Well, like one time we were like having a barbecue and like he stuck his hand like down the back of my pants. But like he didn't really like do anything like.

46:12 Adam How old were you?

46:13 Caller I was about nine.

46:14 Drew Oh, my God. He's a despicable asshole. Despicable asshole.

46:17 Caller Yeah.

46:18 Adam I really wish and this is how I know there's not a God. I'd like something rusty to go through this guy's liver.

46:24 Drew Wow.

46:25 Adam Yeah. This guy's a, he's a piece of work.

46:27 Caller But he's like the only father figure like I've ever had.

46:29 Drew Oh, okay. Well, we're going to go talk to some more.

46:31 Caller Hold on.

46:32 Adam Relax.

46:33 Drew Stop.

46:33 Adam Hang on, hang on.

46:34 Drew Where's my, I'm just glad I found my righteous indignation again.

46:37 Adam Yeah. It was missing for a while, but it's back.

46:40 Drew All right.

46:40 Adam We're going to return with Drew, his righteous indignation and possibly the snore mic after this.

46:49 Caller This is your radio.

47:34 Adam Alrighty, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Sum 41 in here tomorrow night. We got the mic with the 25-foot cord on it, and Engineer Anderson is a conscientious objector to this. Drew says he is too, but I think it's good radio. I'm going to sneak that mic out there and put it out under our security guard's mouth, because he makes such a novelty snoring sound, I just, I got to do it. Alright?

48:09 Drew You want to do it right now? Make some calls.

48:12 Adam She's, I don't know, you know, it's a little scary sneaking out there on a big guy with a gun putting a mic by him, plus I think he got canned for it last time, so you know, he could really just pull his piece and you know.

48:25 Drew Freak out.

48:26 Adam Yeah, that'd be great too. What happened to Adam? Security guard shot him. What the hell? What did they do? Get in a fight? Were they drunk? Now I woke him up. Let's finish with Anna, and then I'm going to go out there and test the waters.

48:41 Caller Okay?

48:45 Adam How old am I?

48:47 Caller Anna.

48:48 Adam Anna?

48:48 Drew So, you've got this asshole uncle by marriage.

48:52 Caller Well, because my aunt was like his babysitter, because he was married before. This is his second marriage.

48:57 Drew Your aunt was his what?

48:59 Caller She was his babysitter. Like, he used to babysit, she used to babysit for his children. He was 12 years older than her. And then he started messing around with her, and he broke up his marriage.

49:08 Drew Oh, what an idiot.

49:09 Caller He actually slept with one of my other aunts before he slept with her.

49:12 Drew Oh, now he's going for you.

49:13 Caller Well, yeah, I used to live with them. Like, I just moved out.

49:17 Drew Did you ever have sex with this guy?

49:18 Caller No.

49:18 Drew Oh, my God, he's just a colossal asshole.

49:21 Adam He has kids?

49:22 Caller Yeah, he has three kids. Like, one is like, well, two of them are grown and then he has a son that's six.

49:28 Adam Yeah. What's this guy do for a living? An auto body, something with cars?

49:33 Caller No, actually, he works for a bread company. He's like the district manager.

49:37 Adam For what company?

49:38 Caller He works for a bread company.

49:39 Adam Oh, real bread winner.

49:41 Caller Yeah.

49:42 Adam All right. Well, I hope he dies in some sort of oven explosion.

49:44 Caller Well, yeah, it like really like shook me because this is like somebody that I look to. It's like my father.

49:48 Adam No, you know, you can't.

49:50 Drew If you do, you've got a real problem with men. Real problem.

49:54 Caller I do have a real problem with men.

49:55 Drew Yeah. This is not a normal male. This is not somebody you should look to for role modeling. No.

50:00 Caller I remember when I was like 12, he was having the little birds and bees talk with me. He was saying how he used to have sex with girls when he was 12, and how I should have sex, but I should protect myself. And I was like 12 years old.

50:13 Adam Okay. Well, listen, we believe you. This guy is an a-hole.

50:17 Caller Yeah.

50:18 Drew Do you have boyfriends? Do you have a relationship with men?

50:20 Caller I have a really hard time. I'm a dancer. And so I have a-

50:24 Adam Tap, jazz, modern, interpretive, ballet, which?

50:29 Caller Naked.

50:29 Caller Ah.

50:31 Adam Topless and bottomless?

50:33 Caller Just topless.

50:34 Adam Just topless. Does he know you do this?

50:37 Caller Yeah, he does.

50:38 Adam Does he ever swing by the club?

50:40 Caller No, but his friends come in. Oh yeah, another thing, like I don't have my name on your shoes, Adam, but like this guy who works at the club, he likes girls that have tattoos. So sometimes my friend will like write Ace Rockolla like on my breast, like on the top. It looks really cute.

50:53 Caller Yeah.

50:54 Adam Ace on one, Rockolla on the other.

50:56 Caller No, all on one.

50:57 Adam All on one. Oh, that's a good size breast.

50:59 Caller Yeah, they're pretty big.

51:00 Adam You have what, huh?

51:01 Caller They're pretty big.

51:02 Adam Nice.

51:03 Caller So, so what, because like, I mean, it would really help out, like if I had a guy to like pay the rent and stuff, because I'm like struggling, I'm like going through.

51:11 Adam Listen, everyone would like some guy to pay the rent, maybe lease him a car and buy him a tennis bracelet. That's not the answer though.

51:19 Drew Really? Oh boy. I don't know where to start.

51:22 Caller I know. I have lots of problems.

51:24 Adam Okay. But you know that, we know that, now our listeners know that. But here's what you need to do. You realize you have problems, you can't act out.

51:34 Drew Can you just get a regular job?

51:36 Caller Well, I wait tables during the day.

51:40 Adam By the way, between stripping and waiting tables, you should have a 1400 bucks cash every week in your hand.

51:45 Caller But I still have to pay rent. Rent is so expensive here, for a decent one-bedroom.

51:51 Drew Are you in Manhattan? Where are you?

51:53 Caller No, I live in California.

51:54 Adam Okay. I moved out when I was your age. I was 19.

51:59 Caller Yeah.

52:00 Adam I worked as a construction laborer. I made $7 an hour, had taxes taken out, and walked at the end of every week with about 235, 240 bucks, made it just fine. Sure, I wanted to kill myself. I got two roommates, I got a one-bedroom apartment, and I just figured out how to make it work, and it'll work. So go get yourself a roommate, and move the hell out of there. And stop worrying about the car you're driving, and all that stuff.

52:31 Caller My car is like $500 a month.

52:34 Drew Oh my God, what are you driving?

52:35 Caller I have a Sebring.

52:37 Drew Did you call us once before?

52:39 Caller Did I call you before? Yeah, like about the 40-year-old guy?

52:43 Drew Tell us again, what was this?

52:45 Caller I was driving home from work, and this guy was 40, and he's in a BMW.

52:49 Drew Pulled her over, remember this?

52:50 Caller Yeah, and you said I was going to end up in an early grave.

52:53 Adam How's that guy doing?

52:55 Caller Well, actually, I talked to him the day after, and I told him that we shouldn't have a relationship, and we shouldn't talk to each other, and he's too old for me.

53:02 Adam Good.

53:03 Caller He was disappointed, but-

53:05 Adam All right, step in the right direction.

53:06 Drew Yeah, you seem pretty workable. Why don't you get some help?

53:10 Adam Yeah, she's hot.

53:11 Caller I'd do her.

53:12 Drew Maybe some, I don't know.

53:14 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah, I see what you're saying.

53:16 Drew You know what I mean? Somebody who she really can trust to give her some decent direction. She takes direction. She's not two guys on a ring.

53:22 Adam She's waiting tables and stripping. For Christ's sake, she's got a huge wad of cash at the end of every day. Get yourself a roommate, get an apartment, get away from this guy.

53:33 Drew A therapist.

53:34 Adam Get a little therapy and start working it. Okay. Drew, I'm going to go out with this microphone. Yeah. Okay. Now, our security guard is sawing logs.

53:43 Drew Did you fart again?

53:44 Adam No.

53:45 Drew Why?

53:46 Adam Do you want me to fart?

53:47 Drew No, no. It's just starting to smell in here.

53:48 Adam That could be my breath.

53:49 Caller Yeah.

53:49 Adam The security guard we have is sawing logs out on the sofa.

53:53 Caller Okay.

53:53 Adam I got a mic with a 25-foot cord.

53:55 Drew If he's sitting there just bolt awake when you come around the corner with that microphone, what are you going to do?

53:59 Adam Okay. It's going to be uncomfortable. I'm not sure if I should get down. Maybe I should get down on my belly.

54:05 Drew You should walk, matter of fact, like you're just going out to take a smoke. With the microphone?

54:08 Adam With a microphone?

54:10 Drew All right.

54:11 Adam You cover for me, okay?

54:12 Drew I'll take a call.

54:13 Adam Now, I'm not going to talk into the mic while I'm taking it out there because I don't want to wake him up.

54:18 Drew Let me take a call?

54:20 Adam Why don't you narrate? Just hold on a second. I'll be back.

54:23 Drew I'm the kind of subjector though. I don't want to participate in this.

54:26 Caller I know.

54:26 Adam But you're what you call the enabler now. Is this thing on?

54:30 Caller Yeah.

54:31 Caller Yeah. Okay.

54:32 Caller Okay.

54:33 Adam Stepping out of the studio.

54:38 Caller That's good radio. Okay.

54:41 Drew What he's doing is he's opened the door. He's looking both ways around the corner.

54:49 Caller He is, uh, don't hear any snoring right now. Yeah. Here he goes.

54:55 Drew He's moving out towards the front door. He's taking a hard left turn. He's sort of taking, moving in sort of one step at a time, sliding the other foot back to meet the foot that took the step. Mic's coming around.

55:09 Caller Oh, here he comes. Listen. You can hear him snoring.

55:12 Drew Moving into position.

55:13 Caller He's on the stomach. He's on the ground. I'm not sure of it. Hold on here.

55:26 Come on.

55:27 Caller Come on. Okay. Oh, God. He must be away. Son of a bitch. He's not snoring now. I know. He goes out. Oh, he got out.

55:38 Adam Shut the door, Drew. Jesus Christ. You almost knocked your coffee over. Drew, go get the extra cord that's hanging out of the door now. It's coming right back in here. No, not that cord. That stuff on the floor. Open the door and pull it in. I'm telling you, there's ten feet hanging out there. It's going to fall that cord in here and kick our ass. Oh, you made it in? Jesus Christ, how did it get in here? All right. I think Anderson tipped him off. Did Anderson tip him off? He did, didn't he? Son of a bitch. Anderson, come on, did you tip him?

56:20 Caller Like I told you, it's already too late.

56:22 Adam What do you mean, it's already too late?

56:24 Caller If I want to save him, I mean, it's too late to save him.

56:26 Adam I'm not going to tip him off.

56:28 Caller All right.

56:29 Adam Lauren was nodding her head yes when I said, did you tip him off?

56:32 Caller She's worse than Ann that way.

56:34 Adam All right. That's true. Little fire starter. All right. We'll keep the mic here. We'll try. I'm able to try tomorrow night. I scared the hell out of me. It wasn't snowing, but you know when the guys, they got that sleep apnea? What's he got? Yeah. You're lying there, total silence, total silence, you're making a move and all of a sudden, you know, you crap myself. Okay. I'm telling him that's Anderson's idea if he questions me. John?

57:02 Yes.

57:03 Adam You're 30?

57:04 Caller Yeah, I hope so. What's up? Got a question for the doc. Adam, you rule, man. Thanks. Doc, I'm ADD and I've got bipolar. Yeah. Okay. I'm taking Concerta for the ADD, taking Remarons for the bipolar and they're trying me on some anger management stuff. They've got me on clonopens and a brand spanking new one called GiaDone or GiaDone.

57:30 Drew GiaDone, yeah.

57:31 Caller Okay. Doc, I got zero sex drive.

57:35 Drew Yeah. No kidding. All those meds. Although Remaron is usually one of the ones that often doesn't cause depressed sexual functioning.

57:44 Caller I'm suspecting it was the Concerta.

57:46 Drew Concerta can and I don't know about GiaDone. It really is a new medicine. The main thing they word out with GiaDone is it changes the conductivity in your heart and can prolong a certain phase of what's called depolarization called QT interval.

57:59 Adam If you got anger management problems, maybe you shouldn't be getting laid.

58:05 Caller Maybe I should be getting laid more often.

58:07 Adam Well, that might straighten it out too. Touche.

58:10 Caller But Adam, it's like a chore. It's like changing the rear main seal in your 350 Chevy.

58:15 Adam Oh, yeah.

58:16 Caller It's something you're not looking forward to.

58:19 Adam I'll tell you, there's nothing worse than that rear main seal going. All that oil draining onto the clutch. Yeah, see when the clutch starts slipping, that's how you know that rear main seal is gone.

58:30 Caller That's right there.

58:31 Adam Yeah, that's a bitch. You gotta pull the tranny.

58:35 Caller What can I do? I've asked my doctor, they've tried me on Yohimb.

58:39 Drew Yeah.

58:40 Caller Didn't do nothing. Absolutely nothing. She said to try Ginkgo.

58:44 Drew No.

58:45 Caller I've been taking Ginkgo now, out to Yazoo for two months. Nothing there.

58:50 Drew Ask her about Wilbutrin. That's one of the things that sometimes helps.

58:53 Caller Okay, I found one substance on this planet that works, but it's illegal.

58:58 Drew What's that?

58:58 Caller Coke.

58:59 Adam Oh really, that gets you in the mood, huh? Oh, like a rabbit.

59:03 Drew That's interesting.

59:04 Adam Just a line gets you going?

59:06 Caller Yeah, all night long.

59:07 Drew That's weird.

59:08 Adam How much is Coke nowadays? I was talking about getting back into that.

59:11 Caller I'm broke. I work, so I got no money to be buying it.

59:15 Drew How are you paying for all those meds? That's like 300 bucks a week.

59:19 Adam But Veteran? Are you a veteran?

59:22 Caller No.

59:23 Drew And the other thing, what about Viagra? Have you tried that?

59:29 Caller I don't have problems with the operation.

59:31 Adam It's just the motivation.

59:32 Drew It's the desire.

59:33 Caller It's the motivation.

59:34 Drew Well, Butrin is one of those things that's been recommended, adding to these medications as helping with drive.

59:41 Adam Are you married?

59:42 Caller Yes.

59:42 Adam Oh, okay. How's the anger management going? What did you do?

59:47 Caller I just blow up real easy, don't worry about anything.

59:49 Adam You have kids?

59:50 Caller Like the fact that it's taken me three hours to get through to y'all.

59:54 Adam Alright. Well, listen.

59:55 Caller That's a great thing to key me off.

59:57 Adam Don't take it out on us.

59:58 Caller No. You guys are cool.

59:59 Adam Alright, John. Listen. Do you have kids?

1:00:02 Caller No. I am not procreating.

1:00:04 Adam Good. Good man. I tell you, I'm a huge fan of John. Look, all you. I don't blame you for having troubles. You got problems with anger management. You're on more drugs than Howard Hughes was on before he died and Elvis put together. Fine. People have problems. They have imbalances and chemical problems. Understood. I only get mad when you start having the goddamn kids. This John, he's fine by me. Knows he's got problems. He knows he's not going to make a world class dad. He doesn't have any kids. Good. Drew, you're dripping coffee all over your white shirt there. Where? Well, I just saw it dripping off your cup. You knocked the cup over when you spazzed out when I came back in here with the microphone. I don't know where it went, but I swear to Christ, it was just dripping off that thing right on your chest. Okay. All right. I don't know. I don't know. Amanda?

1:00:54 Yes.

1:00:54 Adam You're 21?

1:00:55 Caller Yes.

1:00:55 Adam What's going on?

1:00:57 Caller Well, let's see. I've been engaged right now. I've been dating the guy for five years. But I'm having trouble every time I see my best friend, the guy, and I've known him since I was five. There's just a lot of old feelings there. I used to have a really big crush on him when I was younger, and I still feel like there's some feelings that I love him, sort of, in a way.

1:01:23 Drew Now listen, you've got to figure this out. Is this a desire to have a last fling before you get married?

1:01:29 Caller I don't know what it is. I'm supposed to be getting married next month.

1:01:32 Drew Hold on, because many women have a fling before they get married. That's a pretty common thing. Or are you ambivalent about getting married, and really shouldn't be?

1:01:41 Caller Yeah, I've been engaged for a year and a half. I would think I would be sure, but it's just a kind of...

1:01:46 Drew Well, you're 21. It's easy to be not sure you're 21, though.

1:01:49 Caller Yeah. My mom keeps asking me, well, are you sure you want to get married? I'm like, well, I think so.

1:01:54 Adam She doesn't sound like she's a big fan of your husband-to-be.

1:01:58 Caller Oh, no. She likes him a lot, and she just wants me to be absolutely sure, because my sister's engaged to a real dork.

1:02:07 Adam How old is the guy you're engaged to?

1:02:09 Caller He's 22.

1:02:11 Adam And so what about this guy you've been hot for since you were five? Ever have anything with him?

1:02:18 Caller No, no, not really. I mean, nothing.

1:02:22 Adam Nothing?

1:02:22 Caller Nothing. I mean, when I was real little, I used to, like, grab him and kiss him when I was, like, eight. But except just little kids.

1:02:29 Adam Now, why is the guy so close to you still?

1:02:32 Caller I don't know. I mean, we were friends all during growing up, and then when I moved away when I was 13, but we just stayed in touch, and I go down to see him every now and then. We lived about five, six hours away.

1:02:43 Adam And how come nothing ever happened?

1:02:46 Caller I don't know. He's had girlfriends. I've had boyfriends, and it's just, I don't know. To him, I guess it doesn't seem like, you know, it would have been me.

1:02:53 Drew He's not interested.

1:02:54 Caller I guess not. He told me once that he was interested in me.

1:02:59 Drew During a long drought.

1:03:01 Caller What?

1:03:01 Drew During a long drought.

1:03:02 Caller During a long drought, yeah. No, I don't know. He said he was interested in me, I mean, a couple of times after I came back, you know, I moved away. But I was dating this other guy, and you know, same guy that I'm going to be marrying.

1:03:14 Adam All right. And he's seeing someone now too? No.

1:03:18 Drew But again, whether or not she wants to jump ship and go with him is really not the issue. The issue is, is she ambivalent about getting married? Should she not get married? Is this just a desire to have a final fling? What's going on here? I would think going to a marriage at 21 with any kind of ambivalence is not a way to go to a marriage.

1:03:33 Caller Yeah.

1:03:34 Drew I really don't think it's a good idea.

1:03:35 Adam I hate to agree with Drew, but I do.

1:03:38 Caller So maybe I should put it off a little until I figure this out.

1:03:40 Drew We need to get some clarity. Yeah, what's the hurry? You're 21. You know the data on marriages at 21? It's awful. Just waiting five years puts you up the food chain in terms of success.

1:03:49 Adam You have 115 percent chance of divorce in the first three years. Do you know that?

1:03:53 Caller No, I didn't know that.

1:03:54 Adam Yes, it's staggering.

1:03:56 Caller Wow.

1:03:56 Adam Okay. So did you set a date for the marriage yet?

1:03:59 Caller Oh, yeah. Next month.

1:04:01 Adam Oh, next month.

1:04:01 Caller We've been planning this for a long time. I'm just now starting to feel a little... I don't know if it's just cold feet or if I'm...

1:04:07 Adam Well, for a woman and I don't mean to lump all women into one clump, but I'm going to go ahead and do it. If a woman has... I don't think women have cold feet.

1:04:20 Caller Okay.

1:04:20 Adam I think they have reservations. I think they have worries. I don't really think it's cold feet. When they think this guy is the one, they're ready to get married whether it's at 17, 27, or 47.

1:04:34 Caller Yeah.

1:04:34 Adam And when they think, I got cold feet, that's a thing that a 22-year-old guy has.

1:04:40 Caller Yeah.

1:04:41 Adam Not the woman. Right. So I think you have some reservations, some serious reservations about marrying this guy.

1:04:49 Caller Yeah. There are some things that I've worried about.

1:04:52 Adam What's up with him?

1:04:53 Caller Oh, I don't know. There's just some things that we seem to differ a lot on.

1:04:58 Drew Like what?

1:04:59 Caller I'm a lot more outgoing and socially, you know, that sort of thing. He's kind of an introvert.

1:05:05 Drew What else with him?

1:05:08 Caller I don't know. I mean, there's just a lot of stuff. Like he's more strict with money than I am. Of course, I'm in debt, but he's not.

1:05:15 Drew That can all work, though.

1:05:16 Caller Yeah, that can work out.

1:05:18 Adam Does he flip your cookie?

1:05:21 Drew Seriously.

1:05:23 Caller Well, are you there?

1:05:25 Adam We're here.

1:05:25 Caller Okay, I have my cell phone. I thought it was going to die. Yeah.

1:05:30 Caller No, no, no.

1:05:31 Drew No. You're 21. It should be yes, of course.

1:05:37 Adam Yeah.

1:05:37 Drew That's it. That's what it's all about at 21. If they even got that.

1:05:41 Adam Yeah. He ain't flipping the cookie. I think she is trying to come up with a lot of intellectual reasons as to why they might not work out. He likes to stay home. I like to go out.

1:05:54 Drew Nonsense.

1:05:55 Adam I'm bad with money. He's good with money. Look, that's all good. That checks and balances. That will work its way out.

1:06:01 Drew If he had it, that all would look good to her now.

1:06:03 Adam But he ain't flipping the cookie. Yeah.

1:06:07 Drew Yeah.

1:06:07 Adam All right. What should she do?

1:06:09 Drew Wait.

1:06:10 Adam Postpone?

1:06:10 Drew Postpone.

1:06:11 Adam They got the marriage set for next month. Put it off. Say, look, I'm 21.

1:06:16 Drew I can't do it.

1:06:17 Adam Yeah.

1:06:18 Drew Guys don't think that.

1:06:19 Adam Fine.

1:06:19 Drew Yeah. Guys might be relieved to 21.

1:06:21 Adam What's that? Was he snoring? Oh, Christ's sake. Our guard's snoring again. I'm going to try it.

1:06:29 Drew It's not exactly the greatest radio. It might do a little narration of what you're doing.

1:06:32 Adam He woke up?

1:06:33 Caller No.

1:06:33 Adam Was he awake now?

1:06:34 Caller Yeah.

1:06:36 Adam Okay. Okay. All right. But don't tell me he was snoring and now he's awake. Because now I'm... Okay. I was poised to pounce. I'm like a puma who's poised to pounce. Wait a minute. I'm wearing a shirt that says puma on it.

1:06:55 Drew And you got to pee.

1:06:56 Caller Sweet.

1:06:57 Adam Yeah. I'm poised to pounce and pee like a puma.

1:07:00 Caller All right.

1:07:01 Adam Should we take a break?

1:07:02 Caller Yeah.

1:07:02 Adam I'm now scared to go out there. You didn't tip him off, did you?

1:07:08 Caller Okay.

1:07:09 Adam We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Jessie, female, 15, virgin boyfriend has pierced penis.

1:07:16 Caller What?

1:07:18 Adam She's a virgin and her boyfriend has a pierced penis. Let's know if it'll hurt her after this.

1:07:52 Caller Hey, everyone, this is Tommy and Pamela Lee. And you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. All the sexual information you could possibly need.

1:08:01 Caller Yeah.

1:08:04 Adam Those were the days.

1:08:05 Caller Yeah.

1:08:06 Drew Happier time.

1:08:07 Adam That's right. Phone number for Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191-SUM-41 in here tomorrow night. And let's get back the phone, see if we can't save North America. Jesse?

1:08:20 Caller Yes.

1:08:21 Adam You're 15?

1:08:22 Caller Yeah.

1:08:22 Adam What's up?

1:08:23 Caller Okay. Well, like, you know, like, I'm a virgin and I'm sort of thinking of having sex with my boyfriend, but he has this, like, his dick pierced.

1:08:31 Caller Uh-huh.

1:08:32 Drew How old is he?

1:08:33 Caller He's 18.

1:08:34 Drew What's the hurry? Come on.

1:08:38 Adam You're calling from Sunland?

1:08:40 Caller Yeah.

1:08:40 Adam That's trouble already.

1:08:42 Caller Well, thanks.

1:08:43 Adam Oh, that place is a pit.

1:08:45 Caller Yes, it is.

1:08:46 Adam The people in North Hollywood and Van Nuys laugh at people in Sunland. They think they're high for living there. Lot of meth around there, right?

1:08:56 Caller Yeah, generally.

1:08:57 Adam Okay.

1:08:58 Caller Well, I'm far protected, because I went to a Catholic school for nine years.

1:09:01 Adam Is this guy from Sunland?

1:09:03 Caller Nope, from Altadena.

1:09:06 Adam That could go either way.

1:09:08 Drew He's too old.

1:09:09 Adam 18.

1:09:09 Drew You're too young.

1:09:10 Adam Yeah, 18 with a Johnson piercing.

1:09:13 Drew What kind of piercing does he have?

1:09:15 Caller Right now, he has a phrenum and a Prince Albert. He wants to get another phrenum.

1:09:20 Drew Why are you attracted to a guy like that? What do you find attractive with a guy like that?

1:09:24 Caller He's sweet.

1:09:26 Drew Sweet?

1:09:28 Adam He has two piercings, and he's going for a third on the dork?

1:09:32 Caller Yeah.

1:09:33 Adam Yeah. I guarantee this guy's got problems.

1:09:35 Drew Yeah, that's not sweet.

1:09:37 Caller No, he's a sweet guy, but he does have problems.

1:09:39 Drew What's wrong with you, Jessie?

1:09:40 Adam Hold on a second. Anderson's got to drop that, because she said she's kind of debating. I mean, you know, going with her Catholic school upbringing and everything, whether she should F him or not. She said the whole word. What is up with her?

1:09:55 Caller Yeah.

1:09:56 Adam Hold on. I've got to yell at her. Honey?

1:10:00 Caller Yeah?

1:10:00 Adam Are you high?

1:10:01 Caller No.

1:10:02 Adam You think you can just use the F word on the goddamn radio?

1:10:06 Caller Sorry.

1:10:07 Adam Yes, you should be. All right. Now I'm told our guard is asleep again. This really turned into more trouble than it's worth. Okay. I don't trust this guy. Now I'm wondering about you. What's up with you?

1:10:21 Caller Nothing. I'm straight edge and a virgin.

1:10:24 Adam Okay.

1:10:25 Drew No, but what?

1:10:27 Adam Your dad around?

1:10:29 Caller Yeah.

1:10:30 Adam Is he a biker?

1:10:32 Drew No.

1:10:33 Caller He's a graphic artist.

1:10:35 Caller Uh-huh.

1:10:36 Drew Is he unavailable to you in some way? Does it make you angry?

1:10:40 Caller Not really.

1:10:41 Adam Does he do a lot of drugs?

1:10:43 Caller No.

1:10:44 Drew No.

1:10:44 Adam Don't graphic artists do drugs?

1:10:46 Caller Yeah.

1:10:49 Adam Well, I guess the question is, is he doing advertising or is he doing a Yes record albums?

1:10:55 Caller Advertising.

1:10:56 Adam All right. Do people know what Yes is? No. I see. He does advertising. All right. Are you mad at him?

1:11:03 Caller Not really.

1:11:05 Drew What is the hesitation?

1:11:07 Caller Well, like, I don't know. He sort of favors my older sister.

1:11:13 Adam Payback time for daddy. Got a guy with a couple of barbells through his door. Time to pay him back. Jesse?

1:11:20 Drew Whatever you do, make sure he wears a condom. He has to wear special condoms that you get at the piercing shops that are reinforced. You've got to have that.

1:11:27 Caller Okay. But like there's also this other problem with him because he was in a mental hospital for a while.

1:11:34 Adam Hey guys, if you're listening to this with daughters, pay attention to them. Do you understand? This is what you get. All the Catholic school in the world is not going to keep him away with a guy with a bar bell through his door.

1:11:45 Drew And committed for a few months.

1:11:47 Adam Yeah. Jesse? Yes? I'm telling you now that this is going to haunt you, this move with this guy.

1:11:55 Drew What's the plan? Going to marry him?

1:11:56 Caller Well, probably not, though.

1:11:58 Caller Yeah, probably not.

1:11:59 Drew No way.

1:12:00 Caller I don't want to get married, actually.

1:12:02 Caller Good.

1:12:03 Adam All right. You can't just find a guy who's, you know, 16 and goes to your school.

1:12:09 Drew Do your parents fight a lot or something, too?

1:12:11 Caller My parents are like somewhat divorced. They're separated but not divorced.

1:12:15 Caller Yeah.

1:12:15 Drew Do they really fight a lot at one time?

1:12:17 Caller Sort of.

1:12:18 Caller A lot.

1:12:19 Caller Well, my mom's sort of an alcoholic druggie.

1:12:23 Adam I said, there's some issues here, Jesse, and they're not going to be solved with this guy. This guy has a history of mental instability. He's got a ton of problems. He's going to take you with him. Okay?

1:12:36 Drew You're at a crossroads. You're 15.

1:12:37 Adam Just know that.

1:12:38 Drew There's no way you can handle this at your age.

1:12:41 Adam Look, this is the kind of guy that you have sex with him. You break up three weeks later and he takes a dead possum and puts it on your door with a dagger through it. Maybe not a possum, but you know what I'm saying. Brian?

1:12:55 Caller Hey there.

1:12:56 Adam Hey, you're 21.

1:12:57 Caller Yeah.

1:12:58 Adam What's up?

1:12:59 Caller I know. Well, okay, here's the deal.

1:13:01 Adam You're virgin?

1:13:03 Caller Well, yeah.

1:13:04 Adam Yeah.

1:13:05 Caller How'd you know that?

1:13:06 Adam You can tell the voice.

1:13:07 Caller You are good.

1:13:08 Adam Yeah, I don't care what the age is. I mean, Brian is 21. Now, what percentage of 21-year-olds who call this show are virgins, Drew?

1:13:15 Drew Rare.

1:13:16 Caller I think 10 to 1 percent.

1:13:18 Drew 5, 2 percent.

1:13:18 Adam Under 5 percent. Yeah.

1:13:20 Caller It's very low.

1:13:20 Adam I heard three syllables out of Brian's mouth. I knew he was a virgin.

1:13:25 Caller Very good for you.

1:13:26 Adam Thank you. What's up?

1:13:28 Caller Okay. Well, here's the deal.

1:13:29 Caller I think that I'm a homosexual. And I know you frown upon junior colleges. But I just graduated from one and I'm moving to a four-year university.

1:13:40 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:13:41 Caller Isn't that crazy?

1:13:41 Adam What are you? What's your ethnicity?

1:13:44 Caller I'm Caucasian.

1:13:45 Adam White guy graduating junior college in two years?

1:13:48 Caller Crazy.

1:13:48 Adam I don't believe it.

1:13:49 Caller No. You know, what I think it is about junior colleges is that some people just mature faster than others. No, I'm serious. Like, some people settle down and are smart and some people take a while and then they get around to it.

1:14:02 Caller All right.

1:14:02 Adam Well, one of the success stories from the junior college system.

1:14:08 Caller But, a version.

1:14:10 Adam But anyways, okay.

1:14:12 Caller So, I'm going to a four-year university and they've got a pretty active, you know, campus and like liberal thought. And I'm afraid that I'm going to be confronted with like a lot of choices, you know, soon.

1:14:25 Caller Good.

1:14:26 Caller Well, but my family is very involved in the church. It's like a pretty conservative town.

1:14:30 Caller At the school?

1:14:31 Caller What?

1:14:32 Drew At the school where you're going to be going?

1:14:33 Caller No, no, no. Well, the school is about an hour and a half north.

1:14:37 Drew So what the hell do you carry? You're developing a life of your own away from your family.

1:14:40 Caller It's fine.

1:14:41 Caller But it's pretty counter. It's counter to what they want. You know what I mean?

1:14:46 Adam Well, good. It's payback time. That's what I say.

1:14:48 Caller It's not payback time at all. I mean, I don't know what it is, but it's just like.

1:14:53 Adam You're gay.

1:14:54 Caller That's fine.

1:14:55 Adam Yeah. You weren't created in the lab or the basement. You're true gay.

1:14:59 Caller Do you think I should just go? Do you think I should talk with them about it before I go?

1:15:06 Adam No.

1:15:06 Drew You need a supportive network of friends to fall back on if they freak out and talk to other people who have been through this and get their input and get support from them. Then if you want to go back and do it in a couple of years, fine. Not now. So I should sit down. You're not even clear gay.

1:15:19 Caller Yeah, I mean, I'm sort of confused about everything.

1:15:22 Drew Oh my God. Do you imagine what that's going to do to your ass?

1:15:26 Adam Have you been with a guy before?

1:15:28 Caller Please, no.

1:15:29 Adam No?

1:15:30 Drew How dare you, Adam?

1:15:32 Adam Well, okay, you're going out. What four-year college are you going to?

1:15:37 Caller University of Michigan.

1:15:38 Adam That'll be an hour and a half away from where your folks live. Yeah. You'll live there?

1:15:43 Caller Yeah, I'm dorming.

1:15:45 Adam Okay. You live in the dorm. Here's the thing. Don't make a move yet. Go to the dorm, assimilate into the college life, find out, get in the gay groups and everything, meet a guy, take it slow, figure things out, and if you want to make the announcement to your parents a year or two from now, fine.

1:16:05 Caller Okay. So a year or two?

1:16:07 Adam Yeah.

1:16:08 Caller Should I just do that over a weekend or wait for something?

1:16:11 Drew You'll know. Just relax. Okay.

1:16:14 Adam Call us in a year.

1:16:15 Caller Sit them down and make an anniversary date.

1:16:18 Drew It's probably going to come more around the time when you want them to meet one of your friends.

1:16:23 Adam If your parents are so anti-gay though, why are you so anxious to tell them?

1:16:28 Caller No, I'm not in a hurry. I mean, it's just... See, that's the thing.

1:16:31 Adam They are anti-mute.

1:16:33 Drew I get the feeling you want them to convince you out of it. You want them to get you back and bring you back into the fold somehow.

1:16:39 Caller Well, it's been... I mean...

1:16:41 Drew That's your fantasy, isn't it?

1:16:43 Caller No, it's not.

1:16:44 Drew Well, I guess. Maybe. Yeah. Just let go of that. It's not going to happen. I mean, it's not the... It's hard to individuate. It's hard to be separate from your family when you love them. But this is you and it's fine. And if they are really the good people you claim they are, they will be fine with it. Or else perhaps they're not who you think they are, which is also then important that you individuate.

1:17:03 Adam But let's not drop the bomb on them yet. Go get established in college.

1:17:07 Drew Not to your far enough out that if they do freak out, you're fine. You're whole. You're separate.

1:17:12 Adam That's right. Brian?

1:17:14 Caller Yeah.

1:17:14 Adam Dad's going to freak. Brian, you're 14.

1:17:17 Caller Yeah.

1:17:17 Adam What's up?

1:17:17 Drew They're going to do an exorcism. Really. That's what I meant. Flash it through my head.

1:17:22 Caller Yeah. I was over at my girlfriend's house just this night, you know. The other night. And I was hard and I just stuck it inside of her, but I didn't ejaculate or anything.

1:17:33 Drew Jesus. Even just that at 14 changes the voice.

1:17:37 Adam Yeah.

1:17:37 Caller I surprised myself.

1:17:39 Drew Listen to that. He's 14.

1:17:41 Adam Yeah.

1:17:41 Caller I think she's listening right now.

1:17:43 Drew Our last caller sounds younger than Brian. Who knows what Brian sounded like before he did this?

1:17:48 Adam You put your penis in something. Yeah. He probably sound like Georgette from Mary Tyler Moore.

1:18:00 Caller I haven't heard that one. Yeah.

1:18:02 Adam Only Drew knows what that means.

1:18:03 Caller Is that Betty White?

1:18:04 Drew Which one was Georgette? I remember the weird voice this time.

1:18:07 Adam You know what I love about you? You can really just cramp on a very good reference. That was Ted Knight's girlfriend with the real squeaky voice. Yeah.

1:18:14 Drew I remember the squeaky voice.

1:18:16 Caller It was squeaky. It was really squeaky. All right.

1:18:19 Adam Anyway, you want to know if she's pregnant?

1:18:22 Caller If she could be, yeah.

1:18:23 Drew Yeah, she could be.

1:18:24 Caller Well, what should we do about that?

1:18:26 Drew Morning after pill.

1:18:27 Adam How long ago did you do this?

1:18:29 Caller Just the other night, one night ago. It's only been 24 hours.

1:18:32 Drew Plan Parenthood 800-230.

1:18:35 Caller Hold on. I'm going to write this down.

1:18:38 Adam Are you a leaker, Brian?

1:18:41 Drew Do you leak semen?

1:18:43 Caller No, I don't think so.

1:18:44 Drew Well, you can't tell. Who knows? 230-PLAN.

1:18:48 Caller It's not working.

1:18:49 Caller Sorry.

1:18:50 Caller I should have got this in earlier.

1:18:52 Adam That's all right. I like the guy who talks to himself.

1:18:55 Drew PLAN.

1:18:56 Caller PLAN.

1:18:57 Drew Area code 800.

1:18:59 Caller 1800?

1:19:00 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:19:02 Caller Yeah.

1:19:02 Adam All right, sweet pea.

1:19:03 Drew Check it out. Go with her.

1:19:05 Caller Thanks.

1:19:06 Adam Love you.

1:19:09 Caller You love me, Brian?

1:19:10 Caller Yeah, you too, Adam.

1:19:12 Adam Say love you.

1:19:13 Caller I love you too, Adam.

1:19:13 Adam Now, just go love you.

1:19:14 Caller Love you. Okay.

1:19:16 Drew I love you too, man.

1:19:17 Caller All right.

1:19:18 Adam Let's talk to Sam. Sam?

1:19:21 Hello?

1:19:21 Adam 14?

1:19:22 Okay.

1:19:23 Adam What's happening?

1:19:24 I want to say that you're freaking like, oh my God, you're my idol, I swear to you.

1:19:28 Adam Who, me?

1:19:29 Caller Yeah, both of you guys.

1:19:30 Adam Yeah, I love you, Sam.

1:19:32 Caller I swear, oh my God, I want to marry you guys, I swear.

1:19:35 Adam Yeah.

1:19:37 Drew Wow, you're mad just with Sam, what a life that would be, Adam.

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, you watch Sam, I'm going out, Drew.

1:19:44 Drew No.

1:19:45 Adam Yeah.

1:19:45 Drew We're together, we're going to stay together.

1:19:47 Adam Really?

1:19:48 Drew Three of us, man.

1:19:49 Adam Put the car seat in the jeep, let's go. All right, Sam, what's up?

1:19:53 Caller Okay, I wanted to, first off, I wanted to ask, whatever happened to that guy who farts on demand?

1:19:58 Drew We had a couple of those, he hasn't called us back recently, maybe we changed our hotline number or something?

1:20:02 Adam Yeah. What, is his name Tyler? Anderson remembers. All right, yeah, if you fart on demand or on command, call this show because I missed that. Thank you. Thanks for bringing that up, Sam. What else?

1:20:16 Caller Oh, and I wanted to also say, you remember that one guy who wanted to kick your ass like a year ago or something? Yeah, I remember him. Because he got all mad. Whatever happened with that?

1:20:25 Caller Nothing.

1:20:26 Adam I don't know.

1:20:27 Caller What was that all about?

1:20:28 Caller Nothing.

1:20:29 Adam Just a disgruntled caller. I told him to bring it on, though. He chose not to.

1:20:34 Caller Well, I was waiting for you.

1:20:35 Adam Well, thanks, Sam.

1:20:36 Caller Oh, anyway, my question is, I was with this girl like five months ago, right? And then I broke up with her. And she keeps calling me. She's obsessed over me and stuff. And she keeps trying to talk to me. And I keep telling her to leave me alone. But I don't know how to just tell her to leave me alone, you know?

1:20:54 Drew What have you told her exactly?

1:20:55 Caller Well, like, she called to it, right, when I was sleeping. And she woke me up, so that pissed me off. So then she's all, oh, you said this and that. And we were together. And I was all, uh-huh. I don't care. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. And I was just saying, like, just trying to get her to leave me alone. And then she goes, so do you want to talk to me about it? And I was all, no. And I just clicked on it, right? But she keeps calling me, like, over and over again. And I don't know, like, really what to say to her.

1:21:16 Adam All right. Do you know when she calls? Can you not pick up?

1:21:22 Caller But she even, like, writes that to me at school.

1:21:25 Adam Oh, with the S word, poor Anderson over there. He's trying to look at the Internet porn, and you idiots keep using the S and the F word. On the air, you're driving the poor guy nuts. And Anderson, what does it sound like, by the way, when you dump the call that does that thing?

1:21:42 Caller It's just blank. It's dead air.

1:21:44 Drew For how long?

1:21:45 Caller For however long I hold the button, though.

1:21:46 Drew Wait, for that one word or for the whole?

1:21:48 Caller If I'm good enough, I'll just get the one word. But sometimes I have to hold down a full sentence.

1:21:52 Adam Okay. So should I just quit talking when you do that?

1:21:55 Caller Yeah, it'd be great if we quit talking and just hung up on them immediately.

1:21:58 Adam I see. All right. Well, I did that.

1:22:00 Caller Thank you.

1:22:00 Caller Yeah.

1:22:02 Adam Really, really, I think fully one-third of this show is done under the dump button. I'm not even sure how much of it gets out over the air anymore.

1:22:10 Drew So much of what you say has to get dumped.

1:22:11 Caller Yeah.

1:22:12 Adam All right. You're lucky I'm tired, Drew. Sam, don't talk to her. And thank you for worshiping us. But we gotta take a break. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. We're going to hop back to them phones. Jesus, I'm tired. Two nights in a row, I went to the Man Show and then came here, you know?

1:22:49 Caller I like to pop home.

1:22:51 Drew Oh, I see, you didn't go home.

1:22:53 Adam I leave in the morning and sometimes I don't make it back home again. So it's a long haul. It's tough, too, you know, sitting around, throwing a Nerf ball.

1:23:02 Drew Farting.

1:23:03 Adam Not only farting, but thinking of fart-related jokes. Yeah. And then in here to make fun of teenagers. It's a strain.

1:23:09 Drew Quite a lot.

1:23:10 Adam Takes a toll. Carina?

1:23:12 Caller Yeah.

1:23:13 Adam You're 15?

1:23:13 Caller Yeah.

1:23:14 Caller What's up?

1:23:15 Caller Hi, how are you doing?

1:23:16 Caller Good. We're good.

1:23:17 Caller Okay. Yeah, my question was for Dr. Drew.

1:23:19 Caller Yeah.

1:23:20 Caller I was wondering how long is the effect of acid? How long does it last up to?

1:23:25 Drew It's very unpredictable. Some people get a locked-in syndrome where it goes on for months.

1:23:29 Caller Oh, for real?

1:23:30 Adam Yeah. Those people are called light weights.

1:23:32 Drew Well, sometimes. But most, at least, you know, four to six hours.

1:23:36 Caller Oh, it does? Because I hurt at least up to like eight hours or something.

1:23:40 Drew Sure, it can. As I said, it can go for several months.

1:23:43 Caller Oh, for months?

1:23:43 Drew It can go for months if you get one of the locked-in syndromes that sometimes occurs.

1:23:48 Adam Did you take acid?

1:23:49 Caller No, this is my first time taking it. I'm going to take it on Saturday.

1:23:52 Drew One of the things we know for sure is that under the age of 15, when your brain is still kind of developing, it can cause damage.

1:23:58 Adam What are you going to do when you take the acid?

1:24:01 Caller Well, it's because we're going to be at a party.

1:24:03 Caller Oh, okay.

1:24:05 Drew Did you hear what I said about damaging the brain?

1:24:07 Caller Yeah, I heard. Yeah, a lot of friends told me about that already.

1:24:10 Drew Yeah, is that a concern of yours?

1:24:11 Caller Huh?

1:24:13 Drew Do you understand that you are your brain?

1:24:15 Caller Yeah.

1:24:15 Caller Okay.

1:24:16 Caller No, I just wanted, I was just wondering.

1:24:19 Caller Yeah. That's all.

1:24:20 Adam Well, here's the problem, the way I see it, Carina.

1:24:24 Caller Yeah.

1:24:25 Adam You have two possible outcomes. You could throw up, freak out, and really have a bad trip.

1:24:32 Drew Which would be good. That's what I'm doing.

1:24:34 Adam Or you could really enjoy it and then just do it a lot and really just sort of fry your brain.

1:24:41 Caller Yeah.

1:24:42 Adam So those are the kind of the two scenarios. And they're both bad their own way.

1:24:48 Caller Oh, and I also was wondering if acid, if you're like really depressed, does it lead up to like you could like try to kill yourself or something?

1:24:55 Drew It can make depression worse sometimes. Sometimes. Why are you so detached? You're not listening to anything we're saying.

1:25:02 Caller No, I am listening.

1:25:04 Adam Okay. Well, maybe we're saying, Carina, you shouldn't do the acid. You're 15. Give it a little rest. Have a wine cooler or something. Have somebody blow some weed in your face or something. I'm telling you, and girls are much more likely than guys to freak. Acid mushroom freaks out women. Did you know that, Drew?

1:25:26 Drew No, I didn't know that.

1:25:27 Adam You take a group of, I did mushrooms once with a bunch of guys and one girl. Girl went AWOL, freaked out. You guys aren't as strong mentally, you know. You freakies here.

1:25:40 Caller All right.

1:25:40 Adam You do.

1:25:41 Drew Just don't do it, Carina. Listen, you're obviously not hearing anything we're saying because we've given you a half a dozen reasons that it's dangerous and not a good idea.

1:25:47 Caller And I understand.

1:25:49 Caller I'll think about it twice before I do it.

1:25:51 Adam All right. Think twice then do it.

1:25:52 Caller Okay.

1:25:53 Caller And Adam, I wanted to say you're really funny and you're just you're gorgeous.

1:25:58 Adam I am, huh? Well, thanks. And I don't want to sound too preachy here, but one of the reasons I'm funny is because my brain works pretty good. And even though I did my best to damage it, you know, with football and boxing and stuff like that, I never did any any drugs before the age of 18. I waited for my brain to dry, then I proceeded to damage it. And that's what makes me such an incredible intellect now. All right, Carina? Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Good times, baby. Good times. All right. Let's talk to Julio over here. He's calling from Tijuana, Mexico. Julio?

1:26:32 Caller Oh, hi.

1:26:33 Adam Are you calling from TJ?

1:26:35 Caller Yeah.

1:26:35 Adam Do you live in Tijuana? I didn't know they let people live there. I thought they'd just bust in whores and pimps and drug addicts. But they actually live there.

1:26:45 Caller Yeah. I was born here.

1:26:47 Caller Wow.

1:26:48 Adam Hey, you know, my favorite street there is that Revolution.

1:26:53 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:26:54 Adam It's got some good clubs there.

1:26:56 Drew It must be like living in Las Vegas. You know, they live in a little community.

1:26:58 Adam There's some Mexican Las Vegas.

1:26:59 Drew There's this thing off there somewhere that they never go to.

1:27:02 Caller Yeah.

1:27:02 Caller Viva Tijuana.

1:27:04 Drew What's your question?

1:27:06 Caller Yeah.

1:27:07 Drew What is your question, Julio?

1:27:09 Caller Okay. Well, I go to Scouts, to the Scouts.

1:27:13 Adam The Scouts, Boy Scouts?

1:27:15 Caller The Boy Scouts.

1:27:16 Adam All right.

1:27:17 Drew You're gay.

1:27:18 Adam Drew, please.

1:27:19 Caller Yeah, go ahead. So I met a girl in Mexicali.

1:27:23 Adam Mexicali, right?

1:27:25 Caller And well, we started talking to each other and then we started dating. Now, she's my girlfriend. But well, this weekend I'm going to her house. And one of her friends told me that maybe we're going to have sex.

1:27:42 Adam Right.

1:27:42 Drew Is that what you want to do?

1:27:44 Caller And I'm not really sure about it, but...

1:27:46 Drew No, just don't do it if you're not sure about it. You're 15. Relax.

1:27:50 Caller Take your time.

1:27:50 Adam She's probably not sure about it either.

1:27:52 Drew I bet. They're just saying that just to sort of...

1:27:55 Adam Stir you up a little...

1:27:55 Caller .see cool.

1:27:57 Caller Well, if she tells me, then I'm going to do it.

1:28:01 Adam If she wants to have sex, you'll have sex with her?

1:28:04 Caller Yeah, but I'm not sure what to do, man.

1:28:07 Drew You know how to do it?

1:28:08 Caller No. Maybe it will finish before it even starts.

1:28:13 Drew That'd be good.

1:28:14 Caller That'd be fine.

1:28:15 Adam Hey, well, listen, you need... I was just looking up the screen, Julio from Tijuana, Mexico. It sounded like a joke call. If you're from Tijuana, I guess your name should be Julio, right? Yeah. All right. Do you have a condom?

1:28:32 Caller No. I'm going to buy some.

1:28:34 Adam All right. You're going to buy some. And if you have sex, you want to know what to do? All right. No, don't tell him.

1:28:43 Drew No?

1:28:43 Adam Don't tell him?

1:28:44 Drew He's less likely to do it.

1:28:45 Adam He's going to rupture her eardrum if I don't tell him what to do. All right. I'm going to tell all guys this. Hang on. He's got a bad phone line. He's driving me nuts. Mexico, what a shuck. I'm going to tell you guys how to have sex. You got to, first off, the hole's not on the top. It's kind of almost on the bottom. Right. I didn't know that. I thought when a woman stood up, the hole faced straight out. Like, you know, you could put a flagpole in her and it would stick straight out.

1:29:17 Drew Oh my God.

1:29:18 Adam But the hole, it faces toward the ground.

1:29:21 Caller Yeah.

1:29:22 Adam And you got to kind of get your fingers going in there a little bit and kind of find where it is and work it around a little and get the juices flowing and all that before you just have had it with your penis. So you got to kind of get down there and explore a little.

1:29:40 Drew How about the cuddling factor and all that that women actually are looking for?

1:29:44 Adam You got to do a little cuddling and, you know, a little taking it slow and a little ruby-rubby and, you know, my carpet bombing technique for the oral sex.

1:29:54 Drew Oh, now Julio knows exactly what he's supposed to do. Let's go on.

1:29:57 Adam All right, my employee. But just take it slow. That's what it sounds like when I do the carpet bomb. But I don't think Julio should have sex.

1:30:10 Drew No.

1:30:10 Adam I think he should slow it down. Yeah, a little cuddling.

1:30:13 Drew I agree.

1:30:14 Adam Maybe a handy. Nick, you're 16. You can fart on command. Yep. All right. Now, here's what I'd like to hear out of you, Nick. I like to hear going in.

1:30:27 Caller Oh, you like to hear the in part?

1:30:28 Adam I like the in before it goes out.

1:30:30 Caller I like, my friend like the in part too.

1:30:32 Adam Yeah. That's a big crowd pleaser. I like the part where, see, because people who can fart on command suck it in, and then spit it out, right? All right, so can we hear that?

1:30:42 Caller Okay, right here it goes.

1:30:43 Caller All right.

1:30:50 Caller That was a good one.

1:30:51 Adam Yeah, it was solid.

1:30:52 Caller That was an in one too, huh?

1:30:53 Adam Yeah, you hear the in. That was fantastic.

1:30:56 Drew He's impressed himself.

1:30:58 Adam Nick, you must really be a hit over there at the high school.

1:31:01 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:31:02 Adam Ladies love this.

1:31:03 Caller Football camp, it was pretty fun.

1:31:05 Adam Oh, yeah, you went to football camp? Yep. And you did that in and out fart thing?

1:31:09 Caller Get the laugh.

1:31:11 Adam Yeah, I would have been a maniac. I still would be a maniac if I could do that.

1:31:15 Drew Do you have to get any kind of weird position or anything to do this?

1:31:17 Caller Well, I used to have to have my legs up, but then after a while, I got good easy.

1:31:20 Drew The other guy was talking about that too.

1:31:22 Adam But now you can do it standing up?

1:31:23 Caller Yep, I got more skill than I did.

1:31:26 Adam Yeah, oh yeah. And who says you don't know skill, then pick up a skill?

1:31:31 Caller Nobody.

1:31:32 Adam Let's hear it one more time, Nick. Thanks. Dr. Drew loves that.

1:31:43 Caller My phone's melted.

1:31:44 Adam Nick, what position are you playing football?

1:31:46 Caller I play DE.

1:31:48 Adam No, defensive end?

1:31:49 Drew Oh my God, you're a big guy.

1:31:50 Caller No, I can play pretty small, just got speed.

1:31:53 Adam He's got wheels coming around the corner. You hit the waves, you bulk up a little, and we'll see you on varsity next year. All right, Nick.

1:32:01 Caller Thanks.

1:32:01 Adam Thank you. And call back anytime.

1:32:04 Drew You want to give him the hotline number?

1:32:05 Adam It's a pleasure talking to your ass.

1:32:07 Caller You do.

1:32:07 Adam All right. I don't know. You want to give him the hotline?

1:32:11 Caller No.

1:32:13 Adam Damien says no.

1:32:14 Caller All right.

1:32:15 Drew There we go.

1:32:16 Adam He says, I got something coming on myself.

1:32:18 Caller All right.

1:32:19 Adam Is Nick still there? Hey, Nick?

1:32:21 Caller Yep.

1:32:22 Adam Give me one more. I'm going to see if I can do one with you. Are you ready?

1:32:31 Caller We'll be right back.

1:32:34 Adam Nick, I let a big one fly right when you were going.

1:32:37 Caller Good job.

1:32:37 Adam Yeah, we were simpatico. We're now brothers.

1:32:40 Caller Yeah, that's good.

1:32:41 Adam All right. Even Nick's like, all right, jackass, get over it.

1:32:46 Caller Sixteen.

1:32:48 Adam Hey, mine was pretty good though, right?

1:32:50 Caller I'm proud of you.

1:32:51 Adam Thank you. We'll be back.

1:33:02 Caller All righty.

1:33:03 Adam Well, there you go.

1:33:04 Drew That staff's still on with Nick.

1:33:05 Adam Trying to figure out his ass.

1:33:08 Drew Laughing hysterically, but they're on with him.

1:33:10 Adam Well, there are always some doubters. There are people, well, they didn't believe Jesus Christ when he turned the water into wine.

1:33:20 Drew World was flat.

1:33:21 Adam He parted the Red Sea and forgave some whores. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That's true. I'm going to go home and talk to him. And then...

1:33:32 Drew Before or after you masturbate?

1:33:33 Adam And when he takes a shower, that's when I whack off. He can't hear me. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:41 Drew You're religious.

1:33:42 Caller Oh, I am.

1:33:43 Caller But I mean, I'm not like, oh, praise the Lord, thank you.

1:33:47 Caller This has been Loveline.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2001