Episode 1000754886942

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, oh, that sounded loud.

1:16 Drew A little hot here, yeah.

1:16 Adam Is that me? All right.

1:18 Drew They're off, you're hot.

1:19 Adam All right.

1:19 There they are.

1:21 Drew Okay, there we go.

1:21 Adam Great, hey, it's Loveline, everybody.

1:23 Drew What other radio show starts like that? Is this thing on?

1:26 Adam Is this? Test, Anderson, god damn it, is this thing working? Drew, give me your mic. Yeah, we start three quarters of our shows that way. Look at Anderson over there, seething.

1:37 Drew No fault of his. Seething at the adjustment. No fault of his.

1:39 Adam All fault of Anderson. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:48 Drew I noticed our security guard changed.

1:50 Adam I always change every night. How dare you, Drew. Don't try to pin that on me. Our security guard was napping last night. I wanted to put a mic under him because he was snoring and Drew got all wiped out. Where the hell were we? Yes, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Derek and Steve, or I should say Steve and Derek, are both here tonight from Sum 41. We're going to rotate in the rest of the band. We'll do the usual that we do here on Loveline, which is when we have a full band in here. We just rotate the guests right on through. All Killer No Fillers, the name of the CD. We've been enjoying your riff. And, Drew, just so the band doesn't think I'm kissing their ass, have I not been off? Too late. I've been going off on that for a few months now.

2:44 Drew You have the riff memorized.

2:46 Sum 41 Yeah.

2:46 Adam Yeah. I'm always enjoying this.

2:50 Sum 41 Crank it up.

2:51 Adam We use these as bumpers.

2:52 Sum 41 More of us.

2:52 Adam You know. This is Sum 41. Yeah. And you guys are going to be playing Warped this year?

3:04 Half of it, anyway.

3:05 Half of it.

3:06 Adam Have you done Warped before?

3:08 Sum 41 We did a week of it last year.

3:10 Three days of it the year before.

3:12 Sum 41 Yep.

3:12 We played the Canadian.

3:15 Adam Do they go into Canada?

3:17 The biggest ones in Montreal, Montreal is what we call it.

3:20 Really?

3:21 French people live there.

3:22 Adam I didn't know that the Warped tour got into Canada.

3:25 Oh, yeah.

3:26 Adam Has it always been that way?

3:28 We used to go to it before we were in the band.

3:30 Adam I don't know. Drew, look, we've had every-

3:34 Drew I don't ever heard this before. Thank you.

3:36 Adam Please. Okay. I'm sorry for being defensible. We have had every Warped tour band that has probably ever been on the bill in this studio.

3:44 Drew Pennywise.

3:45 Adam One time or another.

3:46 Drew Good time. All of them.

3:48 Adam They've all been through here over the last five, six years or so. Whenever we've asked them what legs they've been playing, they never brought up Canada, have they?

3:56 Drew No, it's always been like the Southwest. We got them.

3:58 Adam Yeah. You guys are Toronto?

4:01 Yep. We're from Canada. Canada. So when they don't bring it up, it hurts.

4:06 Sum 41 Yeah.

4:06 Adam Well, we're bringing it up.

4:08 It still hurts.

4:09 Adam And you guys met in high school, right?

4:11 Sum 41 Yep.

4:12 Adam Competing bands?

4:13 Well, me and him were in the same band. The other guys were in competing bands and they lost. So then they joined our band.

4:19 Adam But do you really have competing bands in high school? Did you guys not like each other?

4:24 Sum 41 No, we were all good friends, but we were like, we're better than you guys.

4:27 And they're like, we're better than you guys. I didn't like them. I still don't like them. But he lives with him. Yeah, I deal with them.

4:35 Adam And you guys broke off and formed a super Canadian band.

4:39 Yeah, one better than Rush.

4:40 Adam High school band. Right, or even the Guess Who.

4:43 Yeah, the Who?

4:46 Adam Oh boy, I probably know more Canadian bands than you guys do.

4:49 We saw the Guess Who. I'm at Burton Cummings.

4:51 Adam Did you?

4:51 I said, hey Burton, I'm a big fan. He looked at me and said, I'm gonna go get me a beer. And he left. I was heartbroken. What a gentleman.

4:59 Adam I'm gonna sing Undone and These Eyes a little bit later on.

5:04 We're standing tall. That's a great one.

5:07 Adam All right. Anderson always a day late and a dollar short mentioned Rush to me. We will take ourselves some calls. We'll hear some Sum 41 and give you guys some Warped Tour dates and all that good stuff as the night wears on. So why don't we do that now? Brandi? You're 15? What's up?

5:27 Caller Fifteen.

5:29 Adam Young. Yeah.

5:30 Caller Illegal.

5:31 Caller Very.

5:32 Drew What's up, Brandi?

5:33 Caller Well, there's this guy that lives on the street from me and he's 28 and he's married and he has four kids. Well, my sister likes to go play with his little kids and stuff. So I go over there and I talk to him and stuff. He's always hitting on me and telling me, oh, one day me and you were going to go have sex and blah, blah, blah.

5:52 Drew Oh, God.

5:54 Adam He's how old?

5:55 Caller He's 28.

5:56 Drew How old is your sister?

5:57 Caller My sister's four.

5:59 Caller Is he hitting on your sister or is he hitting on you?

6:01 Caller No, he's hitting on me.

6:02 Caller Oh, yeah.

6:04 Adam He's going to give her another couple months this season.

6:07 Caller Yeah.

6:08 Drew What do you figure here? What's your plan, Brandy?

6:11 Caller Well, see, I really kind of like him.

6:13 Drew Yeah, he's 28 and he's married. He's got four kids.

6:15 Caller Things are looking good.

6:17 Drew What's that going to do for you?

6:19 Caller Well, I don't like being in relationships. I just like having sex.

6:25 Drew Why do you figure this guy comes up to a 15-year-old and he figures he can get away with staying something like that? What is it about you that he's picking up? You'd be up for that.

6:35 Adam I'm saying the nose ring and the eye shadows probably.

6:39 Caller Girls are developing earlier these days, too.

6:41 Drew What I'm getting at is who victimized you? What are the victims that you had in your life?

6:46 Caller I was never really victimized, but my dad was never really there for me. He's in jail now.

6:51 Adam What's he in there for?

6:52 Drew Drugs. Were you around a lot of drug addicts when you were growing up?

6:56 Caller Yeah.

6:57 Drew Did any of them ever touch you or do anything to you?

6:59 Caller No. He used to beat my mom.

7:01 Drew There we go.

7:04 Adam You know what's going on, so why do you want to get into this?

7:07 Caller He gives me attention.

7:10 Adam Get a dog.

7:11 I hate dogs.

7:13 Drew Get a turtle, a rabbit.

7:16 Adam Yeah. I mean, Brandy, I know he gives you attention. Adam, by the way, I appreciate your honesty.

7:22 Drew Yeah.

7:23 Adam You're clear on that. He gives me attention. He's 28. I just want to say.

7:26 Drew It's inside. It's good that she knows that.

7:28 Adam But this is not going to be a great future for you.

7:32 Drew It's not going to really get you what you're really looking for.

7:34 Adam Yeah.

7:34 Drew Which is a little more than attention. And it may feel good in the moment. And these arousing, dangerous situations. Are you a drug addict too? Are you a drug addict or alcohol addict?

7:42 Caller What?

7:43 Drew I do. Do you do drugs?

7:44 Caller I smoke pot once in a while and I drink and smoke.

7:48 Adam But she's 15.

7:50 Drew You got a little bit of the addict in you, it sounds like. Yeah. Finding that kind of gratification from those sorts of experiences is what addicts do. That's not really going to send you down a great path.

8:02 Caller Okay.

8:03 Drew It's all part of getting aroused and being gratified and not really getting what you're really looking for, which is more than attention but sort of a real connection with someone.

8:10 Caller Okay.

8:10 Caller All right.

8:12 Adam All right. There's your answer.

8:13 Caller Okay. Thanks.

8:14 Adam All right. Don't do anything goofball. Seriously. Don't get pregnant. Don't get strung out.

8:18 Caller No. No pregnancy. Thank you.

8:20 Adam Don't get anything. Okay. Don't even get crabs.

8:24 Caller Okay.

8:25 Adam Just a handful of crabs. Five crabs. That's the maximum.

8:28 Drew Sand crabs only.

8:29 Adam No.

8:29 Caller Okay. You guys. I think you guys are great. Thank you.

8:32 Adam Thank you.

8:32 Caller Bye.

8:33 Adam All right. Let's talk to Andrew over here. Andrew? Hey.

8:38 Caller What's going on?

8:38 Adam Hey. You're 24. What's up?

8:40 Caller Yeah. The other day, Dr. Drew mentioned something about male birth control pill that's supposed to be coming out.

8:47 Drew Yeah. There's a various thing being studied, and there's a couple of hormones that look like they're going to hit the market.

8:52 Adam Yeah. How many thousands of years before that catches on?

8:56 Drew Looks like a couple of years.

8:57 Adam I know. Before it catches on.

8:58 Drew Oh, before it catches on.

8:59 Adam Yeah. How many guys are going to get into that? Put it this way. The guys who do take that pill are not the guys we need to worry about. These aren't the deadbeat dads. In fact, these aren't the blues singers with 95 kids. They will never make it to that population. And then I predict more pregnancies because guys will be lying, telling women that they're actually on this pill, that they're not.

9:23 Caller Guys are smart.

9:24 Adam They're crafty.

9:25 Caller They're crafty ones.

9:27 Adam Yeah. Interesting. More pregnancies.

9:30 Caller I've been waiting for it to come out for about four years now, so.

9:33 Adam Really? You know, it'll make your breasts bigger, but your skin may break out.

9:38 Caller What about the domers? You don't like the domers?

9:41 Caller Ah, nah.

9:42 Caller You don't care for the... Do you use the domers? Or are you just like, the hell with it. I'm waiting for the pill.

9:48 Caller Uh, well, I have no life anyway, so... What do you care?

9:53 Caller You're just a drug addict. You just want the pills. You need them.

9:57 Adam The guys who want to birth control are the guys who aren't getting laid.

10:00 Caller I got some good stuff, man. Maybe birth control.

10:03 Drew Maybe then I'll be okay.

10:03 Adam That'll give me an edge over the other guys. Alright, Andrew. You need to find a woman.

10:09 Caller And a life, Andrew.

10:11 Adam And how's the male of birth control pill gonna work? Hormone. Same thing. But what's it gonna do?

10:16 Drew It just basically suppress...

10:17 Adam Opulate our egg?

10:18 Drew No, suppress the sperm production sufficiently that none really gets into the semen.

10:23 Adam So something comes out but just won't have any sperm in it.

10:25 Drew Exactly.

10:26 Adam And you won't be able to tell by looking at the sperm?

10:28 Drew No.

10:29 Adam What about if you do what I do, which is to hold up the gym sock after you're done with it?

10:33 Drew No.

10:33 Adam And really put it under the kitchen light.

10:35 Drew But you may be disappointed when you put it under that electron micrograph you got there.

10:38 Adam Yeah. Oh, the...

10:40 Drew The electron scanning electron microscope you use, yeah.

10:42 Adam Right.

10:42 Drew It's really to talk to your sperm.

10:43 Adam How about the black light I use to find clean laundry?

10:47 Drew Well, that still will work.

10:49 Adam That's my hamper system. I shut all the lights off in my room and I wave a black light around.

10:55 Caller See, I...

10:56 Adam If it doesn't wink, I pick it up, I put it on.

10:58 Drew Then the maid does it.

10:59 Caller I always run into the problem that I'll always put on my shirt and I'll have... Well, you guys know what I'm talking about.

11:06 Drew Yeah, well, Adam, Adam...

11:07 Adam The Rorschach test on the front.

11:09 Drew The housekeeper will go around, look on the wall and see where Adam's peed.

11:13 Caller Right.

11:13 Adam I got Helter Skelter written on there in semen. She runs out of the house screaming in Spanish.

11:19 Caller All right.

11:20 Adam Dan?

11:21 Caller Yeah, what's going on?

11:22 Adam You're 14. What's up?

11:24 Caller I'm 14. All right. First of all, Adam, Drew, you guys are great.

11:27 Adam Great, thanks.

11:27 Caller Second of all, Sum 41, you guys are awesome. The only reason I'm going to the Warped Tour is you.

11:32 Caller Oh, thanks, buddy.

11:35 Caller I've always been curious, how did you guys come up with the Sum 41 title to your wonderful band?

11:40 Caller The title to the album or the title to the band? You usually call it the name of your band.

11:45 Caller Sum 41, how did you get that?

11:47 Caller It stands for...

11:51 Adam I know what it is. I know why they got that name.

11:53 Caller It's Satan's Unsung Minions. 41 is the new number of the beast.

11:57 Adam That's right.

11:58 Caller Yeah.

11:59 Adam That's right. Originally, he was going 666. That was around for a while.

12:04 Caller Yeah, that got old. It got old.

12:06 Caller I was talking to Satan.

12:07 Caller I said, Satan, you got to change it. He said, Steve, I've been thinking about it. I said 41. He said, OK. And we played again in Canasta.

12:14 Adam He told me that it was being too closely linked to the 555 Bogus phone number you hear in movies and TV shows and that people weren't believing it. What's that, Dan?

12:25 Caller I think I can get a Sum 41 autograph or something.

12:28 Adam Where are you going? Are you going to go to the Warped Tour?

12:32 Caller Maybe we can get one there.

12:33 Caller All right.

12:34 Adam All right.

12:35 Caller What was that? Is that somebody on the other line? Did he screw with his den?

12:40 Adam That's Anderson playing a half a drop. I don't know which one it was. There it is. Hey, Drew, do you have to respond to them in a bizarre Pavlovian way? Me? Yeah.

12:53 Drew What did I do?

12:53 Adam Well, you went like, huh?

12:55 Drew I didn't know it was a drop.

12:56 Adam I know, but what else could it be?

12:58 Drew I thought it was someone else on the other line.

12:59 Adam Oh, really?

13:00 Caller I thought it was a girl in his house. He's got some hussy up there and they're playing a prank on him.

13:06 Adam You guys should think that because you're not in here every night.

13:08 Drew I've never heard that drop before.

13:09 Adam I never have either, but I can tell by the tone it came from Anderson.

13:14 Caller It's always Anderson.

13:15 Adam Yeah. He's really off to a flying start tonight. The band is shaking their fist at Anderson. Debbie. Hi. What's up? Not much.

13:27 Caller Derek and Steve, how are you guys?

13:29 Caller Oh, you know, good. There's no one on the other line now, is there? On the other phone. You're not going to screw with us like old Dan did.

13:35 No, I saw you guys today on Ontario Meals. You guys were really cool.

13:38 Caller Oh, thanks.

13:39 Yeah, thanks for waiting a long time because I was like almost at the end of the line.

13:42 Caller We're very patient.

13:43 I can't believe how many people went.

13:44 I was really surprised. I know.

13:46 Caller So was I. I didn't think anyone like you mean. You're surprised nobody came.

13:50 No, not like that.

13:51 No, I'm like sort of worried about Craig Kilburn tomorrow.

13:54 I'm going to that.

13:55 Caller People will come for Craig Kilburn.

13:56 Caller Yeah. Don't worry.

13:59 Caller I have a question.

14:00 Caller Is it about what is it about?

14:01 Caller About your song, about that bit.

14:03 On it, you say like standing on the corner talking all your kerfuffin.

14:07 Where's kerfuffin?

14:07 Caller Is that like Canadian slang that we just all don't know about?

14:11 Caller Kerfuffin means nonsense. Nothing.

14:13 Caller Okay.

14:13 Because like we're listening to it and we're like, what is this nonsense that they're talking about?

14:16 Caller Well, that's exactly it. Nonsense. The nonsense we're talking about is kerfuffin. Kerfuffin means nonsense.

14:21 Drew Is that a word you guys made up?

14:22 Yeah.

14:24 Caller If we're in a jam and with our rhymes, we'll figure out a way out usually.

14:29 Adam Oh, that's not even Canadian slang. That's Sum 41 slang.

14:33 Drew It's a word. They need a word. They made one up.

14:35 Adam I think that's cheating. Are you allowed to do that?

14:38 Caller I can do whatever I want.

14:40 Adam That's a good artistic license.

14:42 Drew It's a good time to play the song.

14:45 Adam Oh, yeah? Hey, Drew.

14:47 Caller That's good radio.

14:48 Adam All right, Debbie.

14:49 Drew Thank you.

14:50 Adam All right. Kuff up and off.

14:53 Drew Quit kuff up and off.

14:54 Adam Yes. All right. We will now hear something from Anderson. Anderson is really off to the races tonight. We got off to a shaky start. Now, he's having trouble cuing up the Sum 41 song. You got it there, Anderson? All right. This one is-

15:10 I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances.

15:14 Adam You see, Drew, that was called a drop. That's something that Anderson played.

15:17 Drew I thought of someone on the other line.

15:19 Adam No, no.

15:20 Caller Doesn't he have like a whole rack of buttons like a bing, or like a poof.

15:24 Adam I don't know.

15:24 Caller What is he got? What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve, Anderson?

15:28 Adam Yeah, he's got both of them. He's got that one too. All right. This one is called Fat Lip. Yeah, that's my song. Sum 41, All Killer No Filler is the name of the album. They'll be on the Warped Tour, and enough of it. I don't know where they're going to be in the States, but they'll certainly be on the part that's in Canada. Steve and Derek are both here. We'll rotate in the rest of the band as the night wears on. And Drew, back the phone to everybody. Tara. Tara. Tara.

19:02 Caller Oh, we stepped on our toes there. She's mad.

19:05 Drew We have to deal with that here.

19:07 Adam All you retards that have a name that's spelled one way and can be pronounced three different ways can kiss my ass because I'm always wrong.

19:14 Caller Well, that'd be me because my last name is J-O-C-Z. But you probably would not pronounce it properly.

19:22 Adam Yeah, but you would mispronounce that name.

19:25 Caller I'd mispronounce my own name.

19:26 Adam I would too, but it's not a name that is a turd.

19:30 Caller It's Y-O-C-Z.

19:33 Adam Wow, that's great. But what I mean is, if my name was Dan, but I could pronounce it Don or Dan or whatever, Dane, then I'd just go around correcting people my whole life. You know what kind of person I'd like you to be? Tara?

19:51 Caller Tara? Or was it Tara?

19:52 Adam I'd like you to be the kind of person where somebody called you Tara and you didn't say anything.

19:56 Caller You just don't care. But then what if you were going to have a long conversation, you'd be saying Tara would eat away at you, Tara.

20:02 Drew Then you go, you know what? That's not really my name.

20:04 Adam Yeah.

20:04 Caller You lean in, you don't just bark it out like you did Tara.

20:07 Sum 41 We're all hurt here.

20:09 Adam You call me Alan, I won't say anything for Christ's sake.

20:12 Drew My first name is David.

20:13 Adam Yeah.

20:13 Drew David Drew. Whenever I'd go to a new school or anyway, there was always David. I just go, whatever.

20:18 Adam Fine.

20:18 Drew There we go. Excuse me.

20:20 Adam All right. So we don't know what for. Some of this energy is meant for our own Tara, who is off over here. But go ahead.

20:29 Yeah. I wanted to say that Tara was really nice.

20:31 Yeah.

20:33 My problem is I'm 18 years old, and I've never met my biological dad before. I was wondering if now that I'm 18, that I should work things out with him or whatever.

20:44 Drew You should what? Work things out?

20:46 Yeah.

20:47 Drew No. That will never work out. No. No. It doesn't work like that.

20:52 Caller Not necessarily. My cousin, when he was like 20 something, he met his biological mother, and they've got a great relationship now.

21:00 Drew It's fine to reconnect.

21:02 Adam That's in Canada, though. That never worked.

21:04 Caller Because everyone's just really nice over there.

21:06 Drew If they're in Florida, this would work in Florida. If you're curious and you want to know about your family system and your biological background, that makes sense, but to work it all out, you're going to be grossly disappointed because she has a huge fantasy she's clinging to that doesn't exist.

21:18 Adam Well what are you going to work out?

21:19 Drew That's right.

21:20 Adam Did he give you up for adoption?

21:24 Well, I have a new dad now, I have a stepdad, and he adopted me, so I have the same last name, and my dad didn't want to sign the papers. My real dad didn't want to sign the papers, just to be mean. And then my mom got a lawyer and said that he had to pay X amount of money and he didn't want to pay it, and he never wanted Jesus Visitation rights.

21:45 Drew What would you want with an asshole like that in your life?

21:48 I just want to know why.

21:49 Drew He's an asshole. Nothing to do with you. Clearly. Nothing to do with you. He is an asshole.

21:56 Adam He cares about himself, number one, and number two, he cares about himself. You're like a forty-third. He's selfish.

22:03 Drew Not because you're bad, not because of anything wrong with you, other than you had the misfortune of having an asshole.

22:08 Adam As a dad.

22:09 Drew As a dad. I think God, it sounds like your stepdad is a good guy.

22:11 Well, not really.

22:13 Adam Well, what's he doing?

22:14 He has a really bad temper.

22:16 Adam Uh-oh.

22:17 Sometimes.

22:19 Drew Sometimes what?

22:21 Sometimes he like pushes me around and he throws stuff and he gets mad.

22:25 Adam Now, don't you feel bad for the whole Tara-Tara thing at the beginning now?

22:29 Drew That you did? That was you. But now you know where that comes from.

22:32 Caller It came from me, actually.

22:33 Drew No, but that's where all that energy is from.

22:37 Adam What energy? It was our energy.

22:39 Drew No, she kind of...

22:40 Adam Oh, please, that was all us. Tara? Yeah. I mean, I call her Tara. I just said that.

22:48 Sum 41 I thought I heard Tara.

22:49 Drew I heard Tara.

22:50 Adam Oh, really?

22:50 Sum 41 Yes.

22:52 Adam I swear to Christ, it's a Tara this time. To see what this is doing to us, it's tearing us apart. It's tearing us apart. Does he hit you or does he push you?

23:04 He pushes me.

23:06 Drew Has that happened once or has that happened all the time?

23:08 Well, it's happened several times, whenever he gets really, really mad and he gets mad at stupid things, like if I forget to take out the garbage or something.

23:16 Drew So he's aggressive and maybe he'll do something.

23:18 Adam He pushes you like toward the back door with the garbage or?

23:22 He like pushes me toward the wall.

23:25 Adam But he's never hit you?

23:27 No.

23:27 Drew Okay. He's aggressive and he's inappropriate and I understand.

23:31 Adam What's up with mom?

23:33 Well, my biological dad, he kind of like abused her and his dad wasn't drunk and that's why my mom left out.

23:41 Adam Right. Okay. So it's pretty typical that your mom got hooked up with an abusive guy and then got hooked up with another abusive guy. Although it sounds like the second guy is slightly less abusive.

23:53 Drew Yeah.

23:53 Adam Does he abuse her?

23:55 Drew No. Well, he's a lot less. The second guy living up to his responsibilities, cares about the kid. He just can't.

24:00 Adam He's got a little anger management problem.

24:01 Drew He has some problems, but nothing, not an asshole like the first one.

24:05 Adam Okay. So you're 18. Can you move out?

24:10 Caller No. I have to stay with my parents for a little while until I get the money saved up.

24:14 Drew What about going to school?

24:16 Caller I'm not really sure. I don't know what I want to do.

24:20 Adam How about pirate or astronaut? That's what I want to be when I'm-

24:24 Drew How about just stuff, whatever. Just general education.

24:27 Adam Well, you can't move out of the house, though. You got to- Here's what you got to do. You got to get a job. I'm going to map out your life for the next 40 years. Okay? Okay. But the first couple are going to be the most critical. You need to get a job. You need to get some friends. You need to get an apartment. You need to move out.

24:46 Drew No boyfriend. You're going to pick guys like-

24:48 Adam And watch these guys.

24:49 Drew Yeah. You're going to pick bad guys.

24:51 Adam As far as the fantasy of recapturing the love that was never there with the old biological dad, forget it. He's an a-hole. I'm sorry you got hooked up with him, but you should do nothing. Just hate the guy, write him off and move on. I know it's hard to do, but-

25:07 Drew But don't hate yourself because he's an asshole.

25:09 Adam Right, right.

25:09 Drew And you get a group of supportive friends that care about you. Don't go into romantic relationships. You get a much firmer foundation of connection with people that do really care about you.

25:19 Adam Hey, I know we're running late for break, but what is- I know this sounds like the world's worst advice when I tell people to just kiss off their parents, but when your parents are bad and they're bringing you down-

25:28 Drew Get rid of them.

25:29 Adam And you keep going back to the well and you got some drunken guy who abused your mom and he's not interested in your life and he's never taken any interest in your life. Why keep banging your head against the wall? Write them off. And as a matter of fact, if it helps to get a little angry at them to get some distance from them, go ahead. Look at me, my family wasn't even abusive. I don't like them that much.

25:48 Drew And you abuse them.

25:49 Adam I abuse them now. And it saves me money. This is psycho. Because otherwise I'd feel compelled to give money.

25:54 Drew No Christmas.

25:55 Adam No, I'm like a birthday. Jehovah's Witness when it comes to that stuff. All right. Sum 41 is our guest tonight. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Jenny. She's a massage therapist, LA Express Style. Oh, that's the sex magazine, sex newspaper. She wants to know how you can get a disease from a handjob. We'll tell her after this. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Steve and Derek are both here from Sum 41. All killer, no filler is the name of the CD. We will rotate in the rest of the band in the 11 o'clock hour. Derek is the shaky drinker, isn't sitting well with him, Drew.

27:22 Drew What's going on?

27:22 Adam I don't know.

27:23 Sum 41 It's...

27:23 Drew Somehow it was more appealing when Tara Banks had gone. Tara Banks.

27:28 Adam Now we're on the Tara.

27:29 Sum 41 Tara.

27:30 Caller What was it? Tyra? She was here?

27:32 Drew She was here.

27:33 Caller Was she slurping on a shake?

27:35 Drew No, she was just a little diarrhea and vomit.

27:36 Caller A little diarrhea and vomit.

27:38 Adam Drew had to feel her abdomen.

27:39 Caller We actually sat next to her at a Knicks game. And it was me that was peeing my pants.

27:45 Drew You have the diarrhea.

27:45 Caller It was very hot. I had the diarrhea. I got very excited. Tyra is hot.

27:50 Adam What was your diarrhea? Derek Mayheave is what I'm saying. I got a bucket though right here.

27:54 Caller What's more like a garbage can?

27:56 Drew What did you offer?

27:57 Sum 41 I don't know. It's this in and out shake.

27:59 Caller It's about to come out.

28:01 Adam But he keeps drinking it, which I gotta give him credit for. Why?

28:04 Caller Because it's tasty. You're not even supposed to be drinking dairy. I know.

28:07 Drew What's too bad?

28:08 Caller He's had the diarrhea again.

28:10 Drew He makes some poopy. Not close and tolerant?

28:13 Caller No, he's just a wimp.

28:14 Sum 41 No, because my voice is phlegm-y. Oh, really? You're not supposed to, anyway.

28:20 Caller But he's a rebel. Other guys are like, stop drinking.

28:24 Drew He's drinking the milk.

28:25 Adam That's right.

28:26 Caller Stop drinking milk. It's really tough.

28:28 Adam Well, that's what makes a band so edgy, the way they thumb their nose at society that way. A lot of guys would be drinking dairy. Yeah. Dairy, eating cottage cheese, sour cream on the potato.

28:39 Caller That's punk rock.

28:40 Adam Jenny?

28:41 Caller Yeah.

28:42 Adam So you're 32?

28:43 Caller Jenny, you got a great voice.

28:44 Caller Hey, thanks.

28:46 Caller I hear you're in masseuse.

28:47 Caller I'm so nervous. You guys, I've been listening to you since high school. Dr. Drew, I have the biggest crush on you. When I saw you, you're so cute.

28:53 Adam He's hot.

28:55 Caller I can barely contain myself.

28:57 Drew I saw you somewhere.

28:58 Adam We answered an ad in the LX press, right?

29:03 Caller All right, you guys, settle down.

29:04 Adam Where did you see Drew?

29:06 Caller Well, he's on TV.

29:08 Adam Yeah, that's right. I forgot.

29:10 Caller He's a celebrity, right?

29:11 Adam That's right. I forgot. So I didn't know people would see him on TV. I thought more people saw him in person than on that crampy Mars Venus show he did.

29:20 Caller I wish it was in person.

29:21 Adam Okay. So you do what for a living?

29:26 Caller Well, right now, I have a side job. For a living, I teach.

29:31 Caller What do you teach?

29:32 Adam Hand jobs.

29:33 Caller Dance and drama and music.

29:35 Adam I see. That's it.

29:36 Caller Casting couch. Nice. Okay.

29:37 Caller No, no. For children.

29:39 Adam I see.

29:40 Caller I'm a mom.

29:41 Caller Joke's off limits.

29:42 Caller I know. I'm a mom. Believe that.

29:43 Drew How many kids do you have?

29:44 Caller Two.

29:45 Caller How old are you?

29:45 Caller I'm 32.

29:46 Caller When did you have kids?

29:48 Caller First one was when I was 21. Second one, I was 25.

29:51 Drew Same dad?

29:52 Caller Huh?

29:52 Drew Same dad?

29:53 Caller Yes.

29:54 Is he around?

29:55 Caller He is. But we're not together.

29:57 Drew But he's in their life.

29:58 Adam But he's alive.

30:02 Caller He's more in their life now. That's why I'm able to do this right now.

30:05 Drew Oh, interesting.

30:05 Caller Because I need the money. It just kind of fell into my life. I've only been doing it for a few weeks. What is it? In Call Massage.

30:15 Drew In Call?

30:16 Caller Massage.

30:16 Caller What does that mean?

30:17 Adam What's In Call?

30:18 Caller Does that mean like at the back of a music magazine, you can get a massage from?

30:22 Caller Right, right.

30:23 Adam They call you up?

30:24 Caller The scantily-clad woman in the picture.

30:25 Drew What does In Call mean?

30:27 Caller Well, it's a private place that they can come. It's real discreet and quiet.

30:32 Drew So you don't go to them?

30:33 Caller No, they come to me.

30:35 Adam And when you say you, you and a bunch of other people?

30:38 Caller No, I'm here usually by myself or with one other girl.

30:42 Drew Aren't you afraid?

30:43 Caller Yeah, sometimes I am, but it's like in a little Melrosey community.

30:47 Drew That doesn't make it more secure.

30:48 Caller All the time.

30:49 Adam Sure, it does. It's better being in Watts or...

30:54 Caller Yeah, there's a lady with a little dog.

30:56 Drew You're a profiler now.

30:57 Sum 41 Cut it out.

30:58 Adam Okay. All right.

31:00 Caller So we have somebody who is supposedly, I don't know where he is, but there's supposedly somebody who's always watching the house.

31:07 Adam Is this a private residence?

31:09 Caller Yes.

31:10 Adam Wow. And it's expensive, so it's a high end.

31:13 Caller It's like a good clientele. Any guy who can afford 40 bucks.

31:19 Adam The ad is in the LA Express?

31:22 Caller It's in one of those, yeah.

31:23 Caller So it's just like a massage, you're just going to get a back rub?

31:26 Adam No.

31:27 Caller Like it's like a chiropractic, you crack your bones, like is it like, what is it going on here?

31:32 Caller There are bones cracks.

31:34 Caller It's a sensual rub down from head to toe.

31:37 Sum 41 Head to toe.

31:38 Caller So are there hot zones that you're not allowed to touch? No.

31:43 Adam How much is it?

31:44 Caller $200.

31:45 Adam What? Do they tip usually?

31:47 Caller What?

31:48 Adam Do they give a tip after that?

31:49 Caller Sometimes.

31:50 Adam Uh-huh. You have a regular clientele?

31:52 Caller No. Like I said, I've only been doing it for a little bit.

31:55 Caller Any girl clients?

31:57 Caller I had an almost, almost did, but they didn't show up. That happens a lot.

32:02 Adam All right. So the guy shows up. Do all these guys kind of know the game?

32:07 Caller You guys have no interest in my question.

32:09 All you want to do is talk about my job.

32:11 Drew No, we'll get to it.

32:12 Adam We'll get to it, but I answer my questions first. Do the guys who show up all have the same thing in mind?

32:18 Caller Like does anybody just show up and they're like, wait, what are you doing? I thought I was just getting like a massage.

32:23 Caller I've had men show up who wanted full service and leave when they found out it wasn't.

32:27 Adam I see.

32:28 Drew What does full service mean?

32:29 Adam Like a BJ or sex.

32:30 Caller Going all the way.

32:31 Drew Right.

32:31 Adam But you're just giving them the happy release, right? That kind of girl.

32:34 Caller Exactly.

32:35 Adam All right. And so how's it work? Do you give them a massage for a while?

32:37 Caller I do. And your screener, he was so funny, he doesn't believe me, but I do.

32:42 Adam Right. You give them a massage for an excellent one.

32:45 Caller Yeah.

32:45 Adam Fifteen, twenty minutes and then it's the reach around.

32:48 Caller Yeah.

32:49 Adam And you just.

32:50 Drew Some of the clients call.

32:51 Adam Just keep it going until they're finished, right?

32:53 Drew That's the hotline.

32:54 Caller Hold on.

32:54 Caller The phones are lighting up.

32:55 Drew Is it Mr. Mayor?

32:58 Caller Yes.

33:00 Adam It's Bernard Parks.

33:01 Caller You know, can you call me back? Great. Like 15 minutes.

33:07 Caller Thanks.

33:09 Caller Yes. I am in.

33:13 Adam That's Charlie Sheen.

33:15 Caller All right.

33:18 Adam Hey. Hey. Yeah, that's great. Hey, can you call me back in a second? I'm on National Radio Show. All right, Bob. Bob, hold on. What number can I find? Great. Your wife's name? Fantastic. So she answers, I should say what? Great. Okay.

33:33 Caller Think of this. Why do men get into this?

33:36 Caller Men are horny.

33:39 Drew Yeah. Sex for men is a purely physical experience many times, for the most part, a visual, physical thing and there need not be any emotional connection with it. Although there is and there can be, it's a release for them.

33:54 Adam Let me give you a couple of tips. Number one.

33:57 Caller He gives a great one, by the way. He knows what he's talking about.

34:00 Adam Forget about the massage. Go right for the junk.

34:04 Caller The girl that I work with, she's always like, you've been in there for so long.

34:07 Adam Get them in and out of there.

34:08 Caller You're in there for so long, while I'm giving them a massage. She's like, oh, she's done in 20 minutes.

34:12 Caller Okay, well, massage, you, but that's just a gateway for conversation. What do they talk about when you give them a massage?

34:18 Adam Yeah, don't bother. They go right for the junk. Like the guy's going to go, whoa, slow down. Let's get to know each other.

34:24 Caller Yeah.

34:25 Adam What's your sign? And the other thing, I've had trouble with this. Don't bring the kids up. That's always a disaster.

34:32 Caller No, I'm 25.

34:33 Adam Right. Good. Because guys, you make a little small talk. Hey, how's it going? What else do you do? What do you do during the day? I'm a full-time mom. Here, you want to see some pictures?

34:42 Sum 41 It's like, mew, mew, mew.

34:44 Caller Oh, there we go.

34:45 Sum 41 There you go.

34:46 Caller Sometimes I talk with a Tennessee accent. I have, you know.

34:49 Caller You talk with a what?

34:50 Caller I'm a college student on vacation.

34:52 Caller Did she say accent?

34:53 Adam Yeah, Tennessee.

34:55 Caller Nice. Can you give me a taste?

34:56 Adam Give us a taste of that.

34:57 Caller Yeah, absolutely, honey. What are you calling for tonight?

35:01 Caller Okay, that's good. I'm.

35:04 Adam All right.

35:04 Caller So, we will end as you can take down the number.

35:08 Adam How much do you see out of that 200 bucks?

35:10 Caller I'm sorry?

35:11 Adam What do you see out of the 200?

35:12 Caller 50 percent.

35:13 Adam All right. So, you can get 100 bucks. It's all cash. You don't have to report anything. If you go right for the junk, you get the quick turnaround and the next guy comes in.

35:21 Caller How many massages do you give a day?

35:24 Caller One or two.

35:25 Adam Oh, really?

35:26 Caller It's not that busy. There's never like a lineup of guys just sort of like waiting, looking around.

35:31 Adam You could step that up though by a few if you needed to.

35:34 Caller Oh, totally.

35:35 Adam What do you wear?

35:38 Caller Good question.

35:39 Caller Thank you.

35:41 Caller My mind's racing. School girl uniform.

35:44 Adam Hold on to say, you know what's funny about me? We'll have some huge band in here and I'll be going, what's your dude's names? But then some chick calls up about whacking a guy off and I got about 140. All of a sudden, I'm Larry God damn King. It's the hardest hitting interview ever.

36:02 Drew Yeah, Dan Rather. Here you go.

36:06 Adam That is so horrible. Okay. Yeah. What are you wearing?

36:10 Caller Not right now, but we can get to that later.

36:13 Caller Usually, I just wear a G-string and a bra.

36:18 Adam So, they look at you and, uh, now you give the guy the handi. Does they ever try to get the BJ?

36:25 Caller Yes, they try to get everything.

36:27 Adam And do they start to...

36:27 Caller Dr. Drew, are you there?

36:28 Adam I'm here.

36:29 Drew I'm here. I'm going to be over there.

36:30 Adam Hold on. Do they start throwing money?

36:32 Caller Um, yeah.

36:33 Adam At you? Because I'd be... Halfway into the handi, I'd be like, 100 bucks. Come on. Okay, 200. Okay, 500. Okay, here's the keys to the G.

36:40 Caller Well, you see, because that's just a key, because nobody can give a hand job like you can give yourself a hand job. So it's like you want something else. Like you can't really give yourself a beat. What can I say? A beat job. A blow job. You know? So you're like, yeah, you know, that's something for you to master. But me, it's like, you want... Maybe. Let's go for it, babe.

37:00 Adam All right. So you don't do that?

37:02 Caller Um, the blow job?

37:03 Adam Once in a while?

37:04 Caller No.

37:05 Adam If the guy's cute?

37:06 Caller I'm afraid of it. Oh, good.

37:08 Adam All right. So...

37:09 Caller Always or just with these guys? Like, you just don't like them in general?

37:11 Caller Oh, no. I love it. Like, I mean...

37:13 Caller Oh, God.

37:14 Caller Easy, baby.

37:15 Caller I love it...

37:15 Caller .the person, you know, but no, I can't. I'm afraid.

37:19 Drew Do you get something out of this experience with men?

37:21 Caller A hundred bucks.

37:22 Drew Other than the money.

37:23 Caller Yeah. I have had a couple clients who were pretty cute. Yeah, I guess I did get kind of excited, but...

37:28 Adam Yeah, I mean, everyone always talks about this, like this is some kind of horrible sweatshop or something, but some 27-year-old med student comes in there with a washboard abs from... And you're like, what the hell?

37:41 Caller It's a trip.

37:42 Adam I should pay him.

37:43 Caller Exactly. I've had a couple.

37:45 Drew I'm like, wow.

37:46 Adam Why can't people admit this?

37:47 Caller I kind of like this job now.

37:49 Drew No, because she's still maintaining some boundaries so she can do that.

37:52 Adam All right.

37:53 Drew If you're giving the blow job and having sex, men collude in this thing that she's doing that she doesn't really like doing. Not our caller, our prostitute.

38:02 Adam I have no idea what you're saying. Jenny, you don't wear a glove, do you?

38:07 Caller No.

38:08 Caller That's the question, right?

38:09 Adam Right. What disease can she get on her hand?

38:12 Drew After the break.

38:13 Sum 41 Really?

38:14 Drew Yes.

38:14 Sum 41 Really?

38:14 Drew Yes.

38:15 Sum 41 Okay.

38:16 Drew Jenny, hang on a second.

38:17 Adam Hey, but Jenny? Yes. I got, this is going to be risky because if I can beat one out in the bathroom, we're not coming back to you. We're going to hear the rest of the CD. All right. Hang on. Sum 41 is here. Hey, look, I love a glimpse into this world. This is very fascinating to me. And sort of enticing. Yeah.

38:42 Caller It's hot.

38:43 Adam I would not consider this cheating for a married guy.

38:45 Caller Oh, are you married?

38:48 Adam No, I'm not.

38:49 Drew Yeah, we'll talk to your wife about it.

38:51 Adam I would not consider this cheating.

38:52 Drew Maybe you and your wife would.

38:53 Adam Okay, but let me say this.

38:54 Drew Yeah, please.

38:56 Adam I know we're running late for break, but every woman I know is crazy for a legitimate massage. They go to that Burke Williams, you spend three, four, 500 bucks, they get a half day in there. They got some dude, they're totally naked. They got some dude who does nothing but work out and tan all day, working over every inch of their body. For them, it is maybe not an erotic experience, but a very pleasurable experience that involves them being handled physically.

39:27 Caller Not always by man.

39:28 Adam Not always by man, but oftentimes. This is a very pleasurable experience that is being handled by someone else. Psychologically, when they walk away, it's about the same. They're just as attached to that masseuse as you are to this 32-year-old chair. Think about that.

39:46 Drew There is something to your life.

39:47 Adam They would understand that, but you know what I'm talking about.

39:49 Drew They will never be able to. You agree. Thank you.

39:52 Adam I agree.

39:53 Drew Because women can't process it that way, they would diminish the intimacy.

39:57 Adam Thank you. I don't know what you're saying. Thank you.

40:02 Drew Hello, what is it?

40:03 Caller This is Loveline.

40:04 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

40:27 Caller Hey, this is Tyra Banks, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

40:32 Adam Yeah, yeah, well, there she is.

40:35 Caller See, who would you tell you? Like, the next time they do this, like, who's it gonna be, like, the intro to that? Like, no one can, who's gonna top Tyra Banks? That's a hot go-in. Name someone. Maybe we got it.

40:45 Adam We might be able to do it. Anderson is...

40:49 Caller Anderson?

40:49 Adam Anderson's thinking over there.

40:51 Caller He's all right.

40:51 Sum 41 Obviously, it's John Favreau. Anderson, yeah, he's a cool guy.

40:53 Caller With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

40:55 Adam Well, there's John Favreau. Come on, he's hotter than Tyra Banks. Steve and Derek are both here from Sum 41. All Killer No Filler is the name of the CD. Derek, I think the window is open and closed on the vomiting. I don't think he's going to vomit anymore.

41:10 Sum 41 I feel it a bit.

41:10 Caller I finished it.

41:12 Sum 41 And now I'm on the water.

41:13 Adam Right.

41:13 Sum 41 It's kind of evening out a bit.

41:15 Drew Not in diarrhea within two hours.

41:17 Sum 41 Well, yeah, now I'm starting to feel the diarrhea pains.

41:19 Caller I'm getting a lot of diarrhea because I've been eating so much damn Mexican food. It jumps right out of you, but I can't resist.

41:25 Sum 41 Yeah, it's good.

41:26 Drew Welcome to California.

41:27 Caller Yeah.

41:32 Drew All right, Jenny, let's see if we can actually answer your question.

41:34 Caller Oh, yeah, Jenny, actually, we were talking.

41:37 Adam Jenny's a 32, does massages with the full release and wants to know, but never uses the mouth of the vagina and wants to know if she can get any diseases from coming in contact with the semen, right?

41:49 Caller Right.

41:49 Caller If you have an open wound or something, you can get a king nail or something like that.

41:52 Drew Yeah, sure, if you had a cut, that's a possibility, but there's something called herpetic Whitlow. So if a guy had herpes, you can get basically herpes along the, it's classically along the cuticle.

42:03 Adam How about, hey, Drew, let's talk about some precautions and preventative measures.

42:08 Caller What about dish washing gloves? Those are hot.

42:10 Caller Sexy.

42:11 Adam Yeah, like that was. Oven mittens, something like that. Latex.

42:14 Caller The pink one.

42:15 Adam No, she's not going to use that. But I'm saying, is there anything she could put on her hand, a protective barrier of any kind? Latex gloves. No, no, no, no.

42:26 Drew Oh, you mean like tiger balm?

42:27 Adam Yeah. I'm talking about some.

42:29 Drew Vaseline.

42:29 Adam Well, I'll give you a for instance.

42:32 Caller I use lube.

42:33 Adam I see. All right. Well, that might help. But then what about afterwards? What about washing the hands immediately?

42:38 Drew Do you wash your hands right away?

42:40 Adam Yeah. And what about little rubbing alcohol or something dumped on the hands?

42:44 Caller Wouldn't that be too late? I mean, if it goes in, it's gone in. Yeah.

42:47 Drew I mean, like she had a cut.

42:49 Caller I don't know. You cut yourself shaving. I don't know.

42:54 Drew It's real unlikely to get something.

42:55 Adam Steve makes a very valid point.

42:57 Caller The only reason why I even took the job was like I said, you know, it's expensive. So like only high class executives come in here.

43:05 Adam Right.

43:05 Caller All very clean. A lot of them take a shower before they.

43:08 Adam Right. But they're also guys.

43:10 Caller I'm a high class executive.

43:11 Adam They're also guys who think this is a good idea and frequent these kind of places. It might have something.

43:16 Drew From somewhere else.

43:17 Adam But listen, you'll be fine. If you don't have anything on your hand, you'll be fine.

43:20 Drew Even when they first developed the whole notion of safe sex, the mutual masturbation was always considered safe sex.

43:25 Adam But if you, let's say, gave the guy a hand job, he had an orgasm and he immediately walked into the bathroom and dumped the rubbing alcohol in your hand, would that help at all?

43:34 Drew You should be fine. Yeah, you really should be.

43:36 Adam Drew, what's going on here?

43:38 Caller Do you want to talk to Jenny? Jenny, we just wanted to say that maybe you should switch to thongs because the G-String is on its way out.

43:44 Yeah.

43:46 Adam That's yesterday.

43:47 Caller The thong, the thong.

43:49 Adam Hey.

43:50 Sum 41 Eek.

43:51 Eek?

43:53 Adam All right. I'm going to put-

43:54 Caller Hey, what's up, dude?

43:55 Adam Hey, what's happening?

43:56 Caller Hey, dude, you guys kick ass.

43:58 Drew Dude, put that bong down.

44:00 Caller Yeah.

44:02 Sum 41 House party.

44:03 Caller House party.

44:04 Sum 41 What are your influences, dude?

44:07 Thank you.

44:09 Adam What are your influences?

44:11 Caller We have a million influences. Anything from-

44:13 Sum 41 We have music in general. We have music.

44:15 Caller We wouldn't say one particular style is-

44:18 Sum 41 Very American style.

44:20 Adam But, you know, BTO, Gordon Lightfoot, Rush.

44:23 Caller Well, those are all big. Yeah.

44:27 Sum 41 We're talking about Burton earlier.

44:28 Caller Burton, he was a big one.

44:30 Sum 41 Yeah.

44:30 Caller But not the guest who, though.

44:32 Sum 41 All right.

44:33 Caller Maiden.

44:34 Adam You OK there, Ike?

44:35 Sum 41 Yeah. The lead singer, dude, he like hella reminds me of the dude from Green Day.

44:39 Caller You can't stop saying dude. It's California.

44:43 Sum 41 Dude.

44:44 Caller Dude. Did he influence you?

44:46 Sum 41 Pardon?

44:47 Caller Did he influence you?

44:48 Sum 41 Yeah. I like Green Day a lot. They're good.

44:50 Yeah.

44:50 Sum 41 Your mannerisms, you know, like in your video, dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Like, it like hella reminds me.

44:56 Hella? I just saw you guys at BFB.

45:00 Adam All right. Jesus Christ. I like Green Day too, by the way.

45:04 Caller I just noticed Billy from Green Day.

45:07 Adam Oh, there you go.

45:08 Caller He's here?

45:09 Adam Lauren?

45:09 Caller Where? Where? I didn't wear pants today.

45:12 Adam Lauren, you're 16. What's up?

45:14 Caller Yeah. I have this problem where like, whenever my friends like make jokes, whatever like if they joke about me or like something I said.

45:22 Caller Like a diss?

45:23 Caller I take it really, really personally. And like as a result, like relationships with guys like usually don't last more than like a couple of weeks because they think I'm all like serious.

45:35 Caller You're fat.

45:36 Caller Maybe you just don't have what we call in rock and in the medical, the medical terms, a sense of humor. Maybe you need to acquire one. I don't know.

45:45 Caller Like, and I'm, I was just wondering if it would be because like, I was just thinking if I, you know, because I mean I'll cry over something someone says to me and like I'm bipolar. And I also like I'm kind of have a bad past.

45:57 Drew Like my dad was always like, Hey, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, you, you know your diagnosis bipolar, right?

46:05 Caller Yeah.

46:05 Drew Do you also know? Do you have a personality disorder?

46:08 Caller Not that I'm aware of. I'm on depakote and effector.

46:11 Drew For the bipolar.

46:12 Caller Yeah.

46:12 Drew But they've never used a term to describe a personality problem.

46:15 Caller No.

46:16 Drew Okay. Never heard the term borderline.

46:18 Caller No.

46:18 Drew Okay.

46:20 Adam You, you like any funny movies?

46:22 Caller Yeah.

46:23 Caller Dumb and Dumber. It killed.

46:24 Adam What's your favorite movie?

46:26 Caller Um, well, my favorite movie is Run Lola Run.

46:28 Caller Shinnin is this. Yeah, but it's not funny.

46:31 Adam Yeah. Give me a funny movie.

46:33 Caller Um, I don't know, but I like this movie.

46:35 Adam That's it.

46:36 Caller Pink Panther.

46:36 Caller For Adam.

46:37 Adam Oh, well, thanks, baby. You can't be all bad. Watch some funny movies. That's what you need to do.

46:41 Drew Oh, geez. Oh, my God.

46:43 Adam Go see, like, uh, uh, the Holy Grail in Life of Brian. Some funny Python movie. All right. Sum 41 is here. We're going to do a little changing of the guard and rotate in the rest of the band. Steve and Derek are going to go to the other side of the glass, and we'll be back after this.

47:02 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:40 Adam Yep, more Loveline. Another big fat hour worth of Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Sum 41 is here. We did the little rotation. Steve and Derek are out, and Dave and Cone are in from the band. The Warped Tour is where they can be found, and All Killer No Filler is the name of the CD, and we'll hear something else off of that, right? You guys are young. How old are you guys?

48:07 Caller I'm 20. I'm 20.

48:09 Sum 41 We're all like between 19 and 21. Yeah.

48:12 Adam Yeah, that's nice. That's got to be nice.

48:14 Sum 41 One of those days.

48:16 Adam Yeah. You know, actually, I was just listening to some talk radio today, and they were talking about going back to 20, 22, 21, and those great glory days when your body was in good shape, and you could have eight orgasms in 10 minutes, and all that good stuff. Except for I was so miserable when I was that age, that I never looked back at it in that period of any affection at all. I was living in a crappy apartment, had a crappy job, and it was just miserable. So, but see, you guys, you can have 15 orgasms in 10 minutes, and you're happy, right?

48:50 Sum 41 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

48:51 Drew A rock band, Adam.

48:52 Adam Yeah. That's great.

48:55 Sum 41 All right.

48:55 Drew That's just a training session.

48:58 Adam Oh, you kids, I'll tell you what. You got the world by the tail, you really do. I just hope you appreciate what you have.

49:06 Sum 41 Of course.

49:07 Adam Good. Carlos?

49:09 Yeah, I'm here.

49:10 Adam You're 24?

49:11 Caller 24.

49:12 Adam What's up?

49:12 Caller No, I don't know why the people would cry. It's like if I like a guy when a guy took my dick, but I'm not.

49:23 Adam Can you say that, Anderson?

49:26 Sum 41 What's the word on that, Anderson?

49:28 Adam I think Anderson dropped him out there, so I don't know if he can say that.

49:31 Drew All right, Carlos, watch your language.

49:33 Caller That was quick. Okay.

49:35 Adam Hey, Carlos, don't be an idiot.

49:37 Caller Come on.

49:39 Caller This is my first time calling this, so I don't know.

49:41 Drew You ever heard a radio show before?

49:42 Caller Yeah, I heard it.

49:43 Caller All right.

49:44 Drew Well, think about how people talk on the radio. That's how you got to talk.

49:46 Caller All right.

49:47 Drew All right.

49:47 Adam Go ahead.

49:48 Caller I don't know why people think that's a crime.

49:50 Drew A crime?

49:51 Adam If a guy gives you a BJ?

49:53 Caller Yeah.

49:55 Drew What crime is that?

49:56 Caller I don't know. People tell me that I'm gay, but I know I'm not.

50:01 Adam Just because you like to get a BJ and be cornholed every once in a while doesn't make you gay. Does it? You like to send to Pope Rean, you drive a Miata. Doesn't make you gay, right, Drew?

50:12 Drew He may be truly bisexual. Yeah.

50:15 Caller But I'm not. I'm married and my girl knows that. I mean, there's time she'll be there watching me. She'll watch it.

50:22 Sum 41 Does she like it? Huh? Does she like watching you?

50:26 Caller If I tell her to.

50:27 Sum 41 That's hot. You tell her to like it?

50:30 Caller She likes it.

50:31 Adam I see. And where do you find the guys?

50:35 Caller Where do I find the guys? Clubs.

50:37 Adam Right. But you don't do anything to them, right? Right. And you're a Mexican guy?

50:42 Caller Yeah. Mexican. Yeah.

50:44 Adam You know, tell me if this is true or not? Because I think there's a cultural thing going on here. I don't think white guys could get away with this. I don't even think black guys could get away with this. But is there such a cultural thing in Mexico that, hey, if you're getting a BJ, you're not the bitch? You know what I'm saying?

51:03 Caller Yeah. I understand you more or less.

51:06 Adam Like, hey, I may be getting a BJ from a guy, but I ain't no homo. He's the homo for giving me the BJ. I'm on top of the game because I'm getting a BJ from everyone. Is there a feeling of that? Do you know what I'm talking about, Drew?

51:22 Drew Yeah. Well, I'm listening. I understand what you're saying. I don't know if that's true or not. I was asking. Carlos?

51:27 Caller Yeah. I hear you.

51:28 Drew Is that accurate?

51:30 Caller Somewhat.

51:30 Drew Interesting. And did you have some weird sexual experiences when you were like 10 years old, 12 years old?

51:38 Caller It's just something that I experienced when I was 21.

51:41 Drew 21.

51:43 Adam You were never raped by pinata?

51:45 Caller No, because my best friend, my best friend, he's straight. He's straight.

51:49 Caller I'm gay.

51:51 Adam Wait a minute. You're gay?

51:52 Caller No, my best friend.

51:53 Drew He's straight gay.

51:53 Caller Yeah.

51:55 Drew Full-blooded gay.

51:56 Caller But I never gave him a chance to experience my life, you know what I mean? I'm not sure if I explained myself right, but you know what I mean?

52:08 Drew We're trying.

52:09 Caller You know what I mean? But no, I'm not, I'm like, you know what I mean? I feel it's wrong, but I wouldn't know.

52:16 Drew Well, let me ask this question. Could it be that you're gay, but you have such negative feelings about being gay that you have to suppress that? Well, you start out by saying it was a crime. I mean, if you really believe it was a crime, it would be hard for you to really come to terms.

52:28 Caller People tell me that that's a crime, because you either straight, bi, or bi, or you're just straight gay.

52:36 Adam Well, listen, I believe, Carlos, you're the straightest guy who's ever been blown by another guy I've ever heard of out of prison. But let me ask you this, Carlos, do you have kids?

52:48 Caller Yeah.

52:48 Adam Do you have a son?

52:49 Caller No.

52:50 Adam Oh, well, there goes my next question. But if you had a son, would you be all right with this?

52:56 Caller Hey, that's his life. You know what I mean? If you want to be that way, ask on him. I'll accept it.

53:02 Caller Okay.

53:02 Caller You know what I mean?

53:03 Adam That's all fair.

53:04 Caller All right.

53:04 Caller But I can't call for his life, because once he's 18, he's already a man.

53:09 Adam Well, all right, but you can still have opinions.

53:11 Caller Yeah, I have opinions.

53:12 Adam Would you be happy about this lifestyle for him?

53:15 Caller Like I said, I can't call for his life. Once he's 18, he's already a man.

53:21 Drew So you wouldn't have an opinion.

53:23 Adam You can still have an opinion. I have opinions about people I've never met.

53:27 Caller I couldn't call it.

53:28 Adam I'm not saying you need to call it. I'm just saying as a parent, you would have feelings. You want your son to go to college, maybe he doesn't go to college, or maybe you want him to do this, or not want him to do that. Doesn't mean he has to do it, but it still means you could want him to do certain things.

53:42 Caller I don't know, if he goes to college, I'll appreciate that because I think he can't abstract.

53:47 Adam All right, Carlos, listen, I believe you, this is fine, but I'm just saying be careful about bringing someone else into the marriage. It may destabilize things.

53:56 Drew Right, your wife's going to have feelings if you can't call it. I'm telling you, male, female, whatever, she's not going to like it.

54:04 Adam I think that's a Mexican thing. No way a white guy or a Chinese guy could get away with that.

54:10 Drew Do you think he's gay?

54:12 Adam No, I don't really think he's gay. I think he's so hetero, he loves a mouth on his penis. And if it has a mustache, so be it. Right?

54:22 Drew Yeah, that suggests something going on.

54:25 Adam Alright, he's got to be a little bi. He's bisexual. For a guy to be blown consistently by men who doesn't even want to call himself bi, that's tough.

54:33 Drew Yeah, that's a hard one to say, yeah.

54:35 Adam That's a tough sell. I'll give you not gay, but bi, that's going to take a little more arguing. Yeah, not bi, that is. Renee?

54:44 Caller Yeah.

54:44 Adam You're 16?

54:46 Caller Yeah.

54:46 Sum 41 What's up?

54:48 Caller I was like going out with this guy, and then we broke up, but like we would like still have sex all the time, and like he would tell me that he like wanted to get back together and to call him, but then when I would call, he would like act like he didn't want to talk or something.

55:05 Drew Unless he wanted sex, and then he'd be very nice.

55:08 Caller Yeah.

55:08 Drew Oh, gee, magic.

55:10 Caller Wow, that's pretty good.

55:10 Adam How does that work?

55:11 Caller Pretty sure he didn't want to talk.

55:13 Caller Yeah.

55:14 Drew Not unless he wanted to have sex.

55:16 Caller Yeah.

55:17 Drew Right. He doesn't like you, he doesn't want a girlfriend, but he wants to have sex with you, so when he needs that, he's nice, so you'll cooperate.

55:24 Caller Yeah.

55:25 Caller Yeah.

55:25 Adam How old is he?

55:27 Caller He's 19.

55:28 Adam You're 16?

55:29 Caller Yeah.

55:30 Caller Yeah.

55:31 Adam That's a little old. Why did he break up with you?

55:34 Caller Well, he didn't break up with me, like, I stopped talking to him because, I don't know.

55:40 Drew Well, you're still talking to him.

55:42 Caller Well, sometimes.

55:44 Adam This guy's doing pretty good for someone who got dumped. I wish I could do that. Hey.

55:50 Drew Renee, what planet are you on right now? Seriously, you're not making even sense. I can't even track. Either you're in massive denial about what went down with this guy or something different happened.

56:04 Caller Well, I don't know. Like, I thought he cheated on me, but...

56:08 Drew He probably did. He's that kind of guy, clearly.

56:11 Adam Drew, how much you hate men, by the way? You ever go home and just smack your penis with a ruler?

56:15 Drew Bad penis.

56:16 Adam Bad! I wish you would just run away. Go!

56:20 Caller Don't look back!

56:21 Drew Penis. Once in a while, I run away. Ay, ay, ay, ay. But it's a very dysfunctional unit, the penis.

56:27 Adam It absolutely is.

56:30 Drew Renee is hooked up with an asshole here, and why she wants to protect him, I don't know.

56:34 Sum 41 But she's still sleeping with him.

56:35 Drew Just a service agreement, that's all going on here. When he wants to get laid, he's nice to you. When he doesn't, you go give it to him. Why do you put up with that?

56:43 Caller Because we have like really good sex.

56:45 Caller Well, because you're horny too.

56:47 Adam Right. Maybe they have good sex.

56:48 Drew Except she believes they're going to be a boyfriend there.

56:51 Adam I don't know. Do you, Renee?

56:53 Caller I don't know. Sometimes.

56:54 Drew There you go. That does not cross his mind.

56:59 Adam Well, she dumped on him. Listen, if you if you were the one who dumped him, why don't you just take him back? Maybe he wants to get back.

57:05 Caller Unless you're feeling guilty about dumping him.

57:07 Drew He does not want to get back. And it didn't have she didn't dump him.

57:10 Adam She said she did.

57:11 Drew No way.

57:12 Adam She said she thought he cheated. Maybe he did. How do you know he cheated, Renee?

57:17 Caller Because I was in the other room and then he was in the other room.

57:20 Drew OK.

57:21 Caller Yeah. All right.

57:21 Adam He was screwing someone in the next room.

57:24 Caller Well, I don't know because the lights were on, but he always has the lights off, like with everybody.

57:29 Drew Can you please get everybody?

57:31 Caller Yeah.

57:32 Adam All right.

57:33 Drew Can you please get with me on this? Can I get an amen?

57:35 Adam Listen, I was playing devil's advocate, but forget about it now. Can't you find yourself a nice geeky 11th grader to kick around with? Please. I wish someone would have told that to the girls when I was in high school. Find a nice, brillo-headed, big-toothed guy to hang out with in your own goddamn grade. It drives me nuts. You guys remember high school? You had a bunch of chicks in the 10th grade, dating guys who graduated two years before.

58:00 Sum 41 That's how it was.

58:01 Adam What the hell? What are we supposed to do? Start dating 6th graders? There's no alternative. All the girls our age are dating guys that are in college or graduated two years ago. So what do we do? Do we start picking the grade schools apart, trying to get laid? Renee?

58:20 Caller Yeah?

58:20 Adam Stop being so cool and so grown up. Just find a nice, young, geeky guy, would you? Or at least don't get pregnant. Where is your dad?

58:28 Caller He died.

58:29 Adam What happened?

58:32 Caller I don't know. He like, my parents got a divorce and then he died when I was like young.

58:38 Drew How old were you?

58:39 Caller I was like seven.

58:41 Drew And what did he die from?

58:43 Adam Motorcycle, drug OD.

58:44 Drew Or overdose, which?

58:46 Caller He was into drugs a lot.

58:47 Drew Yeah, motorcycle or drug OD. I think that's a good bet.

58:49 Sum 41 Okay.

58:50 Adam All right, Renee, that's tough, but this guy's not your daddy. You got to work your problems out, all right? And it's not going to be through humping this guy. All right. And please don't get pregnant. Are you using any protection?

59:03 Caller Yeah, all the time.

59:04 Adam What are you using?

59:05 Caller We always use a condom.

59:07 Drew Remember that morning after the condom slips off.

59:12 Adam I'll tell you, I really think it's going to be easy pickings for like, I'd like to hurry up and have a son myself so we can get laid. Because I'm convinced it's a different world.

59:21 Drew Why? What do you mean?

59:22 Adam Well, when we were growing up, there were some semblance of family, right? And all the girls I went to high school with had their dad was around.

59:31 Drew They were accountable to someone.

59:32 Adam They didn't hate men. Not everyone was their daddy. They weren't freaked out. They weren't going on these bizarre sexual binges and things like that. And if you went out on a first date and you put your hand on the chick's thighs, you'd slap it half the time. Now, everyone's growing up. Their dads are dead. They're in prison. They're junkies. They're drug addicts. And they're just hopping on. You know, they turned 14. They just hop on a guy. I'm saying, my son...

59:56 Sum 41 Look for an attachment.

59:57 Adam My son, by the 15 year... If I had him, well, let's say, when can I have him? Five, six months? That's as soon as I could have a kid.

1:00:04 Drew From now?

1:00:04 Adam Yeah, from tonight.

1:00:05 Drew We could bring him out about seven and a half months, sure.

1:00:07 Adam We could pull him early.

1:00:08 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:00:09 Adam Yeah, he doesn't have to go full term. Put him in an incubator. Pull him out of four months.

1:00:12 Drew All right, we'll do it.

1:00:13 Adam Put him in an incubator. That's, what are we in, June?

1:00:17 Drew Yeah.

1:00:18 Adam Have the kid before Christmas sometime? Sure. Fifteen years from now, 15 years? Yeah, he's going on a sexual rampage and living the sexual life that I never had in high school. Okay, that's my plan. Seriously, how early can we pull him? Four is a little early.

1:00:36 Drew Seven and a half months would be good.

1:00:37 Adam Seven and a half? He's almost ready to come out at seven and a half.

1:00:40 Drew Let's go thirty five weeks.

1:00:42 Adam Thirty five weeks? Good. Probably what? Weigh what? Pound and a half?

1:00:45 Drew Yeah.

1:00:46 Adam Two pounds?

1:00:46 Drew Yeah, four pounds.

1:00:47 Adam And he'll be a big kid too because you always hear about those huge kids. They go, you had an incubator. Yeah, he was a preemie. And then everyone goes, wow, he's 350 pounds. That's crazy. Crazy.

1:00:58 Drew Yeah, he weighed a pound and a half when he was born.

1:01:00 Adam Yep, that's going to be one of those stories. Having sex with everyone, breaking their backs because he's so big. Oh boy, okay, this is it. I got a plan. We may have to wrap the show early tonight, Drew. I got to work on it. Sam?

1:01:13 Caller Yeah.

1:01:13 Adam You're 21?

1:01:14 Caller Yep.

1:01:15 What's up?

1:01:16 Caller First of all, I have a question for the band. Is that cool? Okay, hi. I actually was the girl who made your website with that stupid cartoon a long time ago. I don't even know if you remember it, but. Yeah, we do. Yeah, cool. Actually, my agent just cast me in your video for this Sunday, too. Oh, nice.

1:01:36 Adam Why? Is that because you're good looking or are you sort of tired?

1:01:41 Caller We'll be the judge of that.

1:01:41 Sum 41 Are you coming in a bikini?

1:01:43 Caller Um, they didn't tell me what I'm wearing.

1:01:46 Caller Well, bring a bikini.

1:01:48 Sum 41 We'll tell you.

1:01:49 Caller What video are you doing?

1:01:50 Sum 41 In Too Deep.

1:01:51 Caller Okay, I had no idea what song it was, but I've been a fan from way back.

1:01:55 Caller That doesn't matter. Bring a bikini.

1:01:57 Adam How did your agent cast you for this?

1:01:59 Caller Um, just picks my picture and calls me.

1:02:02 Sum 41 Do you have big boobs?

1:02:04 Caller No.

1:02:04 Caller Oh, please.

1:02:06 Sum 41 What's our agent doing?

1:02:07 Caller Let's stick to the subject.

1:02:08 Adam Are you a model?

1:02:09 Caller Yeah.

1:02:09 Adam Yeah. See, I got this theory. Her name is Sam. Girls with guys' names, always hot. Always hot. Very true.

1:02:16 Caller That's an abbreviation.

1:02:17 Adam Yeah, Tonys and Stevie's and those. Very good. All right, go ahead.

1:02:21 Caller Okay. But my real question is, I have like, someone told me it was called sunspotting on my, like just under my nose, like above my lip. It looks like freckles.

1:02:31 Drew Right.

1:02:32 Caller But I don't know if that's from birth control or?

1:02:35 Drew It can be. It's called melasma. And there's also something called the mask of pregnancy, which is it goes across the cheeks and around the eyes. And birth control pill is sort of trying to trick your body into believing it is pregnant so you don't release another egg. And yes, absolutely it can.

1:02:49 Caller And is there a way to lighten it or?

1:02:51 Drew Yeah. Plastic surgeons can help you out with that. There's laser and the lightening agents and things.

1:02:55 Caller Okay.

1:02:56 Drew Great.

1:02:57 Caller Thank you.

1:02:57 Adam Yeah. You know, hey, are you single?

1:02:59 Caller Uh-huh.

1:03:00 Adam But you're on the pill? Yeah.

1:03:02 Caller Well, you know, I had a boyfriend.

1:03:04 Caller Sweet.

1:03:05 Adam Stayed on the pill. Yeah. Well, look, you know, 21 year old model ain't going to be, ain't going to have too much vaginal downtime.

1:03:13 Caller Very true.

1:03:14 Adam Right?

1:03:14 Caller Very true.

1:03:16 Adam All right, Sam.

1:03:16 Caller See you on Sunday.

1:03:17 Caller See ya.

1:03:18 Caller Actually, I'm coming to Weenie Roast, so I'll see you.

1:03:20 Sum 41 See you Saturday and Sunday. You can bring a bikini to Weenie Roast, too.

1:03:24 Caller OK. I'll do that.

1:03:26 Adam Hey, Sam, I'll be down at the Weenie Roast, too. Yeah.

1:03:30 Caller OK.

1:03:31 Caller All right.

1:03:32 Drew Very excited.

1:03:33 Caller That's all right.

1:03:34 Adam That's all right. You can't win over all the fans. Yeah, no, don't try.

1:03:38 Drew Uh-huh.

1:03:38 Caller OK.

1:03:42 Adam That was great. You want me to do a little reenactment?

1:03:44 Drew Yeah.

1:03:44 Adam Sam, I'll be down at the Weenie Roast Saturday, too.

1:03:47 Caller Yeah. OK. See you there if you want to.

1:03:53 Sum 41 Laura?

1:03:54 Caller Hi.

1:03:55 Adam You're 21?

1:03:57 Caller No.

1:03:57 Sum 41 Oh, I'm sorry.

1:03:58 Drew You're 14. You're something about Sam.

1:04:00 Caller That's OK. Yeah. Well, I have to say that you guys are cooler than sliced bread.

1:04:06 Adam Who's you guys?

1:04:08 Caller Everybody there, I guess.

1:04:09 Adam All right.

1:04:10 Caller Very diplomatic.

1:04:11 Caller It's cool. You guys play your instruments and do your thing.

1:04:14 Sum 41 Um, yeah, we do.

1:04:16 Caller We're about to poop a pony.

1:04:17 Caller OK, then.

1:04:18 Drew Um, go ahead.

1:04:20 Caller Poop a pony.

1:04:20 Caller It's pretty cool.

1:04:21 Caller Um, I think that my my my mom is just like really kind of verbally abusive and I don't know what to tell her to make her stop.

1:04:30 Drew What does she do?

1:04:31 Caller Really weird. Basically, she only she just cares about what I'm eating all the time.

1:04:36 Caller And she's always saying I'm fat.

1:04:38 Caller And lately I've just noticed that I've just kind of stopped eating.

1:04:42 Sum 41 How much do you weigh?

1:04:45 Caller I weigh like 128 and I'm like 5'2, 5'3.

1:04:48 Caller You're overweight.

1:04:49 Adam Drew, please, please. That's fine. Is your mom overweight?

1:04:53 Caller No, she was just she spent like four hours in the gym every day.

1:04:56 Caller Oh boy.

1:04:57 Adam Oh, you got a little body imaging problem. And by the way, the fastest way to get someone to put on weight, especially young girls, is start complaining about her weight.

1:05:06 Caller Yeah, for a while I was eating a lot because I was trying to piss her off. But then I realized it just wasn't worth it.

1:05:11 Drew You're trying to what?

1:05:12 Adam Piss her off?

1:05:12 Caller Yeah.

1:05:13 Caller But it just wasn't worth it.

1:05:15 Caller Right. OK.

1:05:16 Adam Is your dad around?

1:05:17 Caller Yeah.

1:05:19 Adam Can you talk to him?

1:05:21 Caller He, you know, he yells at my mom a lot.

1:05:24 Adam Right.

1:05:24 Caller And it's just like when we do something right, we're his kids and we do something wrong, we're not.

1:05:29 Adam Well, can you confide in him? Can you tell mom's driving you nuts?

1:05:33 Caller Um, I guess.

1:05:36 Drew Is there anyone at the counter at school or anyone you can talk to about this?

1:05:41 Caller Um, yeah, I mean, they're just not really, um.

1:05:44 Drew Not very helpful.

1:05:44 Adam Yeah, well, how about you just ignore your mom? You know she's a little baddie.

1:05:48 Sum 41 Like, what do you eat? What kind of stuff do you eat?

1:05:51 Drew Maybe that bad.

1:05:52 Caller Like, I have like a bowl of cereal in the morning.

1:05:54 Sum 41 That's not bad at all.

1:05:56 Adam Yeah, Count Chocula's on.

1:05:58 Drew The problem is that she's intruding and she's abusing. It's not about what you eat.

1:06:02 Adam It's about how she's treating you. What if you told your mom to back off? What would she spin out?

1:06:08 Caller Well, I have and she says, um, that's fine. And then I'll be wearing something and she says, ooh, are you sure you want to wear that out of the house?

1:06:17 Drew Oh my God.

1:06:20 Adam What a pain in the ass.

1:06:21 Drew How do you do it? How do you teach someone to deal with that?

1:06:24 Adam I don't know. Tell her you're thinking about going lesbian if she keeps this up. You're just going to freak. It's really, I really would like to tell that. Guys tell your dad you're going gay. Girls tell him you're going lesbian or eating disorder or both if they keep it up.

1:06:39 Drew Is there any friend of hers that you have any kind of communication with?

1:06:44 Adam Friend of hers?

1:06:44 Drew Yeah, another adult. Anyone you could talk to and sort of confide in and get her to sort of try to confront your mom.

1:06:50 Adam Now listen, put dad on this. Dad knows better than anybody what a pain in the ass mom is. Yeah, you could try. Pull dad aside and say, look, what's his name, your dad's name?

1:07:02 Drew Andrew.

1:07:02 Adam Andrew.

1:07:03 Sum 41 Okay.

1:07:04 Adam Don't call him dad. Call him aside and go, Andrew.

1:07:07 Sum 41 Oh yeah. That always works.

1:07:08 Adam It does work. That bitch we've been living with for 15 years. And listen, don't play stupid. I know you hate her as much as I do. She is riding me like a mule. And I know she rides you too. But really, you're old and your brain is dry. You ain't getting screwed up. I'm going to be a mess. Tell her to back off just a little bit. Tell her just to take it a little bit easier, because it's really screwing me up. And it's going to make me not like her and not respect her and give me all kinds of problems with guys. And I'm going to have an eating disorder.

1:07:38 Caller And I'm going to make my grandma like that.

1:07:40 Adam Pull your dad aside and tell him what he's doing, what she's doing to her, and what grandma did to her, and how she's now doing that to you. I bet it would work. And like I said, use that name. I think that's a good end, right?

1:07:52 Sum 41 Oh yeah.

1:07:54 Adam I bet his ear, her dad his entire life, Andrew.

1:07:58 Drew Come on, Andrew.

1:07:58 Adam His ears perk right up.

1:07:59 Drew I want to talk with him.

1:08:01 Sum 41 He knows it's serious.

1:08:02 Adam Yeah. You know what was weird? I was thinking about, I called my dad on the right end, and my stepmom always answers the phone because, you know, my dad, I don't think he's quite familiar with the phone yet, or he's not sure. What is that box that rings all the time? He doesn't know what to do with it. So my stepmom always answers the phone. And it's weird when you have a stepparent because you feel weird calling your dad. My dad's name is Jim. It's weird going, Hi, is Jim in? As a son. And you always say, Can I talk to my dad? And it's weird to my part in front of dad. And I always feel like it's a weird way to say it. But how else do you do it? You chat and it gets weirder the longer you chat. Where I'm in the car. Oh yeah, how's it going? Good, good. What's going on? And you go back and forth with the stepmom. And then there's a little pause and you go, Is my dad there? Maybe if you hit like another.

1:08:57 Drew My dad?

1:08:58 Adam Is my dad? Is my dadim there? Is my dad? My dad? Is Adams, can I talk to Adams' dad? Maybe that'd be the way to go. All right, I'm going to use that one. But what would you use? Would you use, would you call him by his name?

1:09:13 Caller No, I'd drop the my. The my is the thing that's making it weird.

1:09:16 Adam Is dad there?

1:09:17 Caller Yeah.

1:09:17 Sum 41 The stepdad?

1:09:19 Adam That's my real dad with my stepmom.

1:09:21 Drew But that's too endearing to a stepmom who he hates.

1:09:24 Adam Oh, please. Now she's listening. It's going to be so uncomfortable, Drew. Just hit the fan. How dare you? Just because she tortured me in high school does not mean I bear any resentment.

1:09:33 Drew It's like riding crap in a bucket, right? To live with the bucket crap that you crapped in because you had no bathroom.

1:09:40 Adam Oh, no, no. First off, it was a decorative popcorn tin. It was not a bucket. It had a snap lid. You understand, Drew? And it wasn't like I didn't eat the caramel part of the popcorn. There was nothing in there but that bad cheese stuff, which I got to last.

1:09:56 Drew I see. And then you emptied the tin at least once a week.

1:10:00 Adam I was living out in the garage with no plumbing. I had to go number two. I wasn't allowed to go into the house.

1:10:06 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:10:07 Adam What was I supposed to do? Go crap in the neighbor's pool?

1:10:10 Drew And thus, it's not, is my dad there?

1:10:13 Adam What a life. I tell you, I had a bar of soap I used to keep by the hose because I'd come home from working construction, and it would be too late and the house would be locked up. I didn't have a shower or a bathroom. I would shower with the hose at a bar out there, and at night in the summer when I was burning up in that godforsaken garage, it was 105 degrees, I would lower myself into the neighbor's pool. It was a crazy thing. I would hop over. We didn't have a pool, but I would hop over. I'd wake up at 3 in the morning sweating, and I'd be so hot I couldn't sleep. So I would go out naked into the backyard. I would climb over the fence into the neighbor's yard, and it would be nice and quiet in there, and I would not do a cannonball off the diving board. I would lower myself via the diving board, under water, hold myself down for about 30 seconds and come up, slink back over the fence, hop in bed, wake up with mildew on my head. It was a simpler time, but a great time for me back then.

1:11:11 Drew But again, that's why you're not quite close enough to step mom to say his dad there.

1:11:15 Sum 41 Okay. Yeah. Okay.

1:11:17 Caller Thank you.

1:11:18 Adam Are you going to try to make me cry for the show? You already did. Sum 41 is here. We're going to take a break, and then we'll hear something else after All Killer and No Filler CD. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. David and Cone are both in studio here from some 41. They are doing themselves a video on Sunday, and the first 400 people that show up are guaranteed to get a place in this video. And here's what you do. Free popcorn, by the way. Yeah. This is a no small time operation, and hot dogs. So all you got to do if you're interested in coming out and being in a Sum 41 video, is do the www.sum41.com and you'll get the information, right? Very true. And it's in the beautiful city of industry, which is, it's just, it's like Maui, really. It's beautiful. It's Maui on the West Coast. Wouldn't you say, Drew? Yeah.

1:12:55 Sum 41 Yeah.

1:12:55 Drew Oh, yeah. Why lay out?

1:12:56 Caller Yeah.

1:12:59 Sum 41 Yeah.

1:13:00 Adam And your last video was basically a lot of people coming down and hanging out.

1:13:06 Sum 41 Yeah, just put them on the kids.

1:13:08 Caller They'll recruit the fans.

1:13:10 Adam Yeah, why not? It just fills it out. It just adds another energy level to the whole thing. Why the hell not? And you get them cheap and they're having a good time.

1:13:20 Drew Be careful, they might sort of filter over into commerce. That's true. And they may be lured away by the lovely city of commerce.

1:13:25 Adam I wonder if the city of industry and the city of commerce get that, you know, if there's some kind of grudge match between those two cities. We have the dumbest name city. No, we do. I move that we change our name from the city of industry to the city of people at work. Well, yeah, we'll call ourselves the city of stuff.

1:13:46 Drew The city of factories.

1:13:48 Adam There you go. All right, that's very attractive. Especially, imagine living in a, you know, living there in the city of industry. Oh, yeah. Did they let people live there? It seemed to go against the name.

1:13:59 Drew Unless they're lured over to commerce. They're losing a steady stream over to the city of commerce.

1:14:04 Adam I guess we could let you live here if you open some kind of sweat shop or something in your house.

1:14:09 Drew What they did was right next to that, they opened a city with a name that would really undo the whole thing, Hawaiian Gardens.

1:14:15 Adam Oh, is that there?

1:14:16 Drew They figured that would cause everyone to move over there.

1:14:19 Adam I have a...

1:14:20 Drew The true irony though is Hawaiian Garden is a bigger arm pit.

1:14:23 Adam Yeah, I have said many times, here's... Do we ever talk about anything in the show that has to do with this show? I've lived in this area my whole life, regrettably, and I realize the names tell nothing of the cities. For instance, you know, the nicer cities, Studio City and CINO, and CINO doesn't sound any better than Hawaiian Gardens. And because I'm in the entertainment field, I'm constantly dealing with people that are moving out here from Chicago, New York, and Pittsburgh, and Cleveland, and they're looking for places to live, and they're like, yeah, I've seen this nice place. It's out in a place called Sunland. And I'm like, no, no, no, don't go to Sunland. Sunland sounds great, doesn't it? Hawaiian Gardens, great. Gardena, great. It sounds great. No, they don't know. So I'm thinking there should be a little truth in this. You know, name the place, Crapville. I mean, change the name of Hawaiian Gardens to Crap Gardens or something like that. So people would immediately be deterred because these poor people are moving into town, and they're talking to guys, oh, 400 bucks for a three-bedroom? Oh, man.

1:15:34 Drew And Sunland.

1:15:35 Adam Sunland sounds great. I don't even need to see it. I'll send you the deposit first in land. Yeah, they don't know what they're doing. I should really start a first-order business when I become mayor. King. King, yes, that's right. All right, let's hear something else from Sum 41. How about that? This one is called In Too Deep.

1:15:56 Caller Nice.

1:19:21 Adam Yeah, that is Sum 41, off of All Killer and No Filler. And that one's going out to Daniel and Joe, who just called me drunk.

1:19:33 Caller Whatever.

1:19:35 Adam I told him to give him a shout out. I never give shout outs. All right. Dave and Cone are both here from Sum 41. We'll get back to the phones and speak to Kevin, who's 21. What's happening?

1:19:50 Caller Hey, what's up, man?

1:19:51 Sum 41 What's up?

1:19:53 Caller Well, it's kind of, well, actually, my friend, but he won't actually come to the phone. So I want to talk in this place because I had the same problem before. So what happened, I woke up one morning and then I come to the phone. I see some kind of, I don't know, some kind of not firm, but kind of pus or something down from the area.

1:20:20 Adam Coming out of the penis?

1:20:21 Caller Not foam.

1:20:23 Drew Not foam?

1:20:23 Adam No, I mean from.

1:20:25 Caller Oh, yeah, from.

1:20:26 Adam From the penis. Pus from the penis.

1:20:28 Drew Pus from the Pepe. Right. That would be a sexually transmitted disease.

1:20:33 Adam What was the name of a Cat Stevens record, wasn't it?

1:20:35 Drew Pus from the Pepe, yeah.

1:20:36 Adam Right. 1973, I believe.

1:20:38 Drew Yeah, it was titled, album cover.

1:20:39 Adam Oh, right. That's right. Yeah, the graphics were great on that. What is that, Drew?

1:20:44 Drew It's STD, sexually transmitted disease. They're a Kevin that's either gonorrhea or chlamydia or non-gonococcal urethritis. That's one of the classic STDs. Burns like fire when you pee and there's pus coming out. That's what that is. Gotta get that treated.

1:21:00 Adam And guys talk about peeing and fire, but that...

1:21:03 Drew You don't actually... It's a description of how it feels. You don't actually have a flame come out of your penis.

1:21:09 Adam Yeah, that's fine. I'm so glad you cleared that up because I thought, wow.

1:21:13 Drew That would be something. How did these guys miss that?

1:21:16 Adam Well, my thought was, why do you want to clear that up? P-Fire, imagine you're at a barbecue.

1:21:23 Drew Life of the party.

1:21:24 Adam Some guy's gone to his third book of matches. You pull that flame throw of a penis out and it's right all over the coals.

1:21:31 Drew No lighter fluid, no nothing.

1:21:32 Adam That would be great. That would be great too if your plane went down and you're out in the wilderness somewhere.

1:21:37 Caller Making out chicks.

1:21:38 Adam Yeah, but you don't actually... And how about Ace in a Brick?

1:21:45 Drew Well, sometimes it can get pretty damn near a brick.

1:21:49 Adam But it's not actual building material.

1:21:51 Drew Not baked clay, not kilfired clay. No kilf.

1:21:55 Adam Again, I was way off on that one. That's my imagination. I'm a literalist when I hear about those things.

1:22:00 Drew Well, but spitting nails though.

1:22:01 Adam You can do that? Yeah. We will take ourselves a little break. Sum 41 is our guest tonight and we'll be back after this. Hey everybody, it's the Loveline Show. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Dave and Cone are both here from Sum 41. And if you want to be in a Sum 41 video, just go ahead and log on to www.sum41.com. Right, Drew?

1:22:58 Sum 41 Yep. Yeah.

1:22:59 Adam Okay, buddy. Phone number? I'll forget about that. We don't want any more calls, do we?

1:23:05 Drew No.

1:23:05 Adam Okay. Let's hop back to the phones then. Serenity? You're 17?

1:23:12 Caller Yeah.

1:23:13 Adam Is that your real name?

1:23:15 Caller It's Serenity Ann.

1:23:18 Adam That's a brilliant move by your parents, by the way. Get her one foot in the porn business before she, for her first birthday. Smart. So, what's the question?

1:23:30 Caller Well, I just started having an intercourse with my boyfriend two months ago, and every time I'm about to orgasm, or I do, I scream out the wrong name.

1:23:42 Adam Oh.

1:23:43 Caller Oh.

1:23:44 Adam Really?

1:23:45 Drew What's his name?

1:23:47 Caller His name's Mark.

1:23:48 Drew And what names do you call out?

1:23:49 Caller Cone.

1:23:50 Caller Like, always a different name. It's never the same name.

1:23:55 Caller Really?

1:23:56 Adam I'm getting that little girl voice. I'm getting close to some gambling here. No?

1:24:01 Drew No. I don't get the feeling.

1:24:03 Adam You don't?

1:24:03 Sum 41 No. What does he say?

1:24:06 Caller He gets really mad.

1:24:07 Sum 41 He must get mad. Oh, yeah.

1:24:09 Drew Do you ever call out any other sort of nonsensical words?

1:24:12 Caller No.

1:24:13 Drew What are you doing then?

1:24:16 Caller I don't know. I've never... I always have one boyfriend at a time. I never...

1:24:20 Drew Are these other guys you have known that you're calling out?

1:24:23 Caller Yeah. They're like really close friends or...

1:24:26 Drew What are you thinking at the time?

1:24:28 Adam She has a kind of vaginal Tourette's. It's very rare. But it does occur once in a while.

1:24:33 Drew Her vagina calls out bizarre? Yeah.

1:24:36 Adam That's right.

1:24:37 Sum 41 Do you ever call out girls' names? No. No.

1:24:41 Drew Why don't you go ahead and stop, Serenity?

1:24:43 Caller Okay. But I don't know. I really enjoy having an intercourse with him.

1:24:49 Sum 41 No.

1:24:49 Drew Why don't you go ahead and... Oh, but what?

1:24:51 Caller But I don't know. I feel bad when I did it.

1:24:54 Drew Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and stop?

1:24:55 Adam Oh, wait a second.

1:24:56 Drew No.

1:24:56 Adam Not stop having intercourse. Stop calling the name out. Stop yelling the guy's name out. Einstein. Or yell out Einstein.

1:25:04 Caller Kind of bite your lip.

1:25:05 Adam Okay. Oh, wait a minute. I know there's more here.

1:25:08 Drew I know. Now I do too.

1:25:10 Adam Why must you do this? I mean, if you are truly doing this, this is a way of sort of sabotaging yourself in the relationship. Are you angry at the guy?

1:25:21 Caller No, but he's cheated on you a couple of times.

1:25:24 Adam Okay. Well, there you go. This is a way to pay him back without cheating yourself. That is a very cruel and diabolical way to pay back a guy who's cheated on you. You yell out other guy's names.

1:25:38 Drew Basically, she's withholding her orgasm from him and giving it to the other guy.

1:25:41 Adam You don't get it because you cheated, you son of a bitch.

1:25:43 Drew There you go.

1:25:46 Adam I'm telling you, I'm this close to gambling on Serenity but I don't have time. What's going on? Where's your dad?

1:25:52 Caller My parents are divorced.

1:25:54 Adam What kind of guy is your dad?

1:25:56 Caller Aggressive. I guess he gives me whatever I want but he's never there when I need him.

1:26:04 Drew Is he kind of aggressive too? Loud and yells a lot?

1:26:06 Caller Where's my bourbon?

1:26:08 Caller I don't know but when I was like about 9 or 8 I was sexually assaulted by one of my uncles.

1:26:15 Drew There we go.

1:26:16 Adam Hey, I'm telling you, I got the gambling. By the way, we keep saying gambling and you guys might not know what we're talking about. When I hear that little girl voice in a 17-year-old female, she sounds like she's 9 and that means it always means that there was some sexual something or something happened in a younger age that kind of locked her in to that age. You say you were molested at what age? Serenity. What age were you molested?

1:26:48 Caller Nine.

1:26:49 Drew Magic.

1:26:49 Adam Yeah, because she does sound, that's what she sounds like. Okay. Have you gotten any therapy for that?

1:26:56 Caller Yeah.

1:26:56 Caller I went to therapy for two years and I guess it helped a little bit.

1:27:01 Adam Right. But maybe there's a little more to do?

1:27:04 Caller Yeah. I still feel awkward around older men. Yeah.

1:27:07 Drew I think you're still very, very angry at men.

1:27:10 Adam Is that your uncle that did this, you say?

1:27:14 Caller It's like my step mom's brother.

1:27:16 Adam I see. And did you ever prosecute him?

1:27:19 Caller Yeah.

1:27:20 Adam That's good. Great. All right. So Serenity, and the guy you're with, how old is he?

1:27:25 Caller He's 18.

1:27:26 Adam And he doesn't sound like a great guy if he's cheating on you.

1:27:31 Caller Yeah. But I don't know why I let it go by.

1:27:34 Drew You're not letting it go by. You're just dealing with it.

1:27:37 Adam Painting him back in your own way.

1:27:38 Drew Dealing with it in a very inappropriate way.

1:27:40 Adam Your own brand of justice. Okay. So Serenity, you've been through some stuff in your life, and now it's kind of coming out sexually.

1:27:48 Drew Don't expect that from guys. Expect something different. If they give you what you've always had from them, move on.

1:27:55 Adam Right. And if this guy cheats, confront that. Yeah.

1:27:59 Drew Don't continue to have sex and screw up the relationship.

1:28:01 Adam Maybe do a little more therapy, because maybe you're not past this thing. And listen, I don't blame you. If I was molested by some freaky step-uncle at nine, I'd be talking like I was nine too.

1:28:14 Drew Instead of fourteen.

1:28:15 Adam Right. With a deviated septum. Javier?

1:28:18 Drew Yeah.

1:28:19 Adam You're twenty-six?

1:28:20 Drew Yeah.

1:28:20 I'm twenty-six. How are you all doing?

1:28:22 Sum 41 Good.

1:28:22 Adam What's happening?

1:28:23 Sum 41 Yeah.

1:28:24 I had a question. I mean, when you do coke, does it affect your semen when you're about to have another one or when you're thinking of having another one?

1:28:33 Drew Another one what?

1:28:34 Another child or another baby. I mean, does it affect your semen? Let's say I'm doing it right now and two months from now...

1:28:45 Sum 41 How many are you doing?

1:28:46 Excuse me?

1:28:47 Sum 41 How many are you doing?

1:28:48 How much am I doing?

1:28:49 Sum 41 Yeah.

1:28:50 Well, I'm doing it every day, right, but I do my share, right? Right.

1:29:00 Drew Listen, it can affect your sexual functioning, it can probably affect the effectiveness of your sperm, but it doesn't make for child deformities or anything like that.

1:29:11 Okay, that's what I want to know.

1:29:12 Drew But it certainly does give you about a 50% chance of passing that gene along to that child, that addiction gene.

1:29:19 Oh, okay.

1:29:19 Adam And Javier, here's the reality of it. Better the kid be born with one arm to good parents than perfectly healthy to a coke addict.

1:29:28 Caller Yeah.

1:29:29 Adam You see what I'm saying? Because it's interesting, you'll manage to screw the kid up anyway, even though he's born perfectly healthy. Now, why are you thinking about having another kid?

1:29:39 Caller No, no. I ain't thinking. That's why I wanted to ask you guys, I mean, will it screw up my semen in case I have another child?

1:29:48 Drew Well, listen, Javier, the question was, why are you thinking about having another kid?

1:29:54 Caller No, I ain't thinking about it. I'm just taking it as a caution.

1:29:57 Drew All right. Well, stop thinking about it. Don't even worry about it.

1:29:59 Adam Stop not thinking about it.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah.

1:30:01 Caller Does it affect my semen or not?

1:30:03 Adam Yes.

1:30:03 Caller It doesn't affect my semen.

1:30:04 Drew No, it doesn't.

1:30:06 Adam It will give birth to one of our callers.

1:30:08 Caller I don't know.

1:30:11 Adam It's worse than stillborn.

1:30:13 Caller It's worse than what?

1:30:14 Adam Okay. Are you married? Yeah, I'm married. And you already have a child?

1:30:18 Caller I have two kids, twins.

1:30:20 Adam And you're already... Come on, Papa. You can't get this coke thing under control?

1:30:25 Caller No, I can't.

1:30:26 Caller It ain't addictive. To me, it ain't addictive. I don't do it every day. I just do it probably every other... I mean, every two weeks or something.

1:30:35 Drew You'll start stringing that together more.

1:30:36 Adam Yeah. And then one day, your kids will be like, Where's our college fund? Dad sucked it up his nose.

1:30:42 Drew And if you're smoking pot in between, that'll affect...

1:30:44 Caller And I don't like that.

1:30:45 Drew You don't smoke pot?

1:30:46 Caller No, I don't.

1:30:47 Adam Okay. Javier, I know you're not planning on having any more kids, but you still make me nervous with this line of questioning. So are you using some birth control? No.

1:30:59 Caller Just condoms.

1:31:01 Adam Yeah, but condoms once in a while.

1:31:04 Caller No, every time I do it, I use condoms.

1:31:06 Adam Okay, be careful. No more kids.

1:31:09 Caller Okay.

1:31:09 Adam And watch this Coke thing. It may spin out of control.

1:31:13 Caller Okay.

1:31:13 Adam And remember, you're daddy now. The kids need you.

1:31:16 Caller Yeah, I know that now. But so it doesn't affect my scene. In case I leave this Coke thing, in case I have another child, it doesn't affect it.

1:31:25 Drew I'm going to tell you for the, probably, what, fifth time?

1:31:28 Caller Okay.

1:31:28 Drew No.

1:31:29 Caller Okay.

1:31:29 Adam Okay, but I'm going to say for the 57th time, really, a 26-year-old guy is doing blow, already has two kids, and probably ain't CEO of IBM. Should not be toying with this stuff, and stop worrying about your goddamn sperm.

1:31:45 Caller Okay.

1:31:45 Adam You worry about not having any more kids and getting off the blow.

1:31:49 Caller Thank you. Tough love.

1:31:53 Adam Roxy?

1:31:54 Caller Hi.

1:31:54 Adam Hey, you're 18.

1:31:55 Caller Oh, my gosh. Oh, I love you guys so much.

1:31:58 Adam Yeah? Who do you love?

1:31:59 Caller Sum 41?

1:32:00 Adam Oh, interesting.

1:32:02 Caller I want to see you at the work tour.

1:32:03 Sum 41 I love you.

1:32:04 Caller You're so cute.

1:32:06 Adam They're cute. I will give them that.

1:32:09 Caller I want to know how long did it take you to make this album?

1:32:14 Sum 41 Cool. We did the album in two stages. We did like half of it, eight songs in about how long?

1:32:24 Caller Six weeks. Why don't we explain why we had to do the album in two stages? Yeah. Well, we got a little excited on the big budget recording, and we went out and had a little bit too much fun after the sessions each day.

1:32:39 Sum 41 The strip clubs.

1:32:40 Adam Really? You spent all the money? That's great.

1:32:44 Sum 41 Yeah.

1:32:45 Adam I love those stories where the record company gives you a big advance to make the record, and then they just go spend it all on strippers and they have no record. That's great.

1:32:54 Sum 41 Let me tell you about those strip clubs in Canada.

1:32:56 Adam Oh, the best.

1:32:57 Sum 41 Oh, yeah.

1:32:58 Adam The best. That high octane booze and then the great looking strippers and they're like taking showers. A lot of showering going on over there on stage. Great. Okay. We're going to take a break. Sum 41 is here and we'll be back to wrap up and wrap down after this. All right, Anderson, waiting on me. Hey, everybody, if you want to be in a Sum 41 video, and who wouldn't? I've seen their last video, and it looked like a good time. Just go www.sum41.com. That is going down at 10 o'clock this Sunday. So if you're interested and you're in town, log on and go out, and the first 400 people are guaranteed in the video. I want to thank Steve and Derek and Dave and Cone for coming in here from Sum 41. All killer, no filler, name of the CD, and it will not disappoint you. So go out and get it if you haven't already. I want to thank Tara, don't call me Tara, God damn it. I want to thank Damian. I want to thank Lauren. I want to thank producer Anne, and I want to thank engineer Anderson. We got off to a rocky start tonight with Anderson, but he really pulled it together in the last 45 seconds of the show.

1:34:49 Caller Thanks, guys.

1:34:50 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:54 Drew You know, the very dysfunctional unit, the penis.

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Thursday, June 21, 2001