Episode 1000754886880

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. It's the Loveline.

1:18 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Your phone number is 1-800-LLV-E-191, Dr. Drew, Ford Certified Internist, Addiction Medicine Specialist. I was watching 60 Minutes 2 tonight. 60 Minutes is a great, great television program. I know a lot of our audience probably thinks it's some, their dad's news program or something like that, but really compelling show. It's not, it's not the news the way you think it is.

1:52 Drew What did you learn?

1:54 Adam I didn't learn that much really because I didn't have the sound up.

2:00 Drew You were masturbating to 60 Minutes 2?

2:02 Adam No, they were, they were going around Afghanistan and talking to all the folks and you know, the scary part is they talked to all these school girls and stuff and they're talking about Bin Laden and what a great hero he is and all that kind of stuff. But I really realized when I looked at that country and the people and the way they looked at us, I realized the way they look at us and we think they look at us as a sort of an evil empire and all that kind of stuff, white Satan and all that. But I think they look at us like we look at Liz Taylor or many other celebrities, which is, you know, when you hear about some tragedy in like Liz Taylor's life or Sharon Stone's life, yeah, it's a secret, is it kind of, she's rich, she'll get over it. You know what I'm talking about? I hear Sharon Stone has an aneurysm and it's like, all right, she lives in that big house, she'll be fine. Yeah, so she sells a Jag and goes to the best surgeon in the world and you know what I'm talking about? There's a certain element of, we know they're people, but we're so far above them in a monetary sense, in a lifestyle sense, that I think it's like, all right, so how bad is it going to be?

3:26 Drew Yeah.

3:27 Adam It really is. Think about it, when you think about, and everybody think about this, when you think about these big, big time celebrities who are going through a divorce, whose father died, who have some medical difficulty, who got in a car accident, Janet Jackson, you know, Michael Jackson catches on fire at a Pepsi commercial. You're like, yeah, he'll get past that.

3:47 Drew Unfortunately, though, you're really describing a version of the most pernicious feelings that humans have called envy. There really is envy.

3:56 Adam Yeah.

3:57 Drew It's envy. Envy is a destructive, awful, horrible feeling people have.

4:02 Adam Right. These guys are so far up, so they slide down a little bit.

4:08 Drew Yeah, you're envious of them, so you knock them down.

4:10 Adam They'll be fine. Yeah. It's like when you hear about a rich guy getting his car totaled. Or you hear about some big time NBA athlete whose house burns down. What do you think? Insurance will cover it. He'll be fine. You never go, oh my God, what a tragedy.

4:25 Drew Yeah, poor guy.

4:26 Adam I hope he gets by. No, you don't. It's like when Liz Taylor has another ailment. It's like, she'll do fine. She'll do fine.

4:32 Drew Yeah, you're right.

4:34 Adam Don't you think that's what they look at? Don't you think this entire country is Liz Taylor to them?

4:38 Drew I think a lot of people envy is a great way of describing what they're experiencing.

4:42 All right.

4:44 Adam So we have to kill Liz Taylor. That's what I figured out tonight. Angie?

4:48 Yeah.

4:49 Adam You're 25?

4:50 Caller Yes.

4:50 Adam What's up?

4:52 Caller Okay, about two months ago, like June-ish, I got ill. I don't know what kind of infection it was. It was maybe an upper respiratory infection.

5:04 Drew Right.

5:05 Caller But I lost my voice and at the time I'm seeing someone, but I like to use my dildo just because it's a long-distance relationship and I don't want to see other people, so I use my dildo.

5:23 Adam And when you say dildo, do you mean vibrator?

5:26 Caller No, no, no, just a rubber.

5:28 Adam Right.

5:28 Drew Wow.

5:29 Adam Okay. You mean dildo.

5:30 Drew Old-fashioned.

5:31 Caller I mean old-fashioned. That's right. But it's more pliable and it just feels more realistic.

5:36 Drew I didn't know women actually did that.

5:38 Adam I didn't either. I thought they were novelty games for like Bachelorette parties.

5:43 Drew Yeah, right.

5:44 Caller No.

5:45 Adam No. Okay. So you actually use the dildo. That's old school. Smart. Very smart.

5:49 Caller Well, I mean, I'd rather that than, you know, just have sex with someone else. I mean, I'm in a good relationship. It's just long distance.

5:56 Drew And she misses the...

5:59 Caller I miss the physical aspect.

6:00 Drew She also misses what we were saying about the dildo. She doesn't understand why. She went right past that.

6:04 Adam I'm sorry.

6:04 Caller I didn't hear it. What?

6:05 Adam No, that's all right.

6:06 Drew Keep going.

6:07 Caller Come on. OK. So at the time when I was sick, I had a fever and everything and I used the dildo, right?

6:15 Drew In June.

6:16 Caller Yeah, June-ish. And then I was sick for a while. I'd lost my voice. I just felt like crap all the time. And then I got better. And then last month, actually three weeks ago, I used it again and I got sick again.

6:33 Adam Yeah.

6:33 Caller I mean, I washed it before and after.

6:35 Drew Well, that's a message from God. Isn't that what you say, Adam?

6:37 Adam I think you're being punished.

6:39 Caller No.

6:40 Adam You're saying I don't think any germs could live on the thing for three and a half months.

6:43 Drew No way.

6:45 Caller I guess, yeah, that would be my basic.

6:47 Adam You say every time you use the dildo, you lose your voice. You're not going down on it, are you?

6:52 No, no.

6:54 Adam What about the dildo? Doesn't the dildo deserve a little foreplay?

6:58 Caller You know, I thought about it, but.

6:59 Adam Really?

7:00 Caller Sweet.

7:01 Adam All right. All right, Angie. You know, it's not, this is just coincidence. I mean, maybe because she couldn't be plunging some disease up into her that was harbored on the dildo, right?

7:14 Drew No, nothing would survive. It's two or three months on a rubber surface after having washed. But listen, Angie, you smoke a lot of cigarettes, right?

7:21 Caller No, I don't do anything.

7:23 Drew You don't smoke anything?

7:24 Caller No, my voice is just gone because this happened again. I lost my voice again, so I went to my ENT. It just happened to be a throat specialist. He said I had a severe upper respiratory infection. My ears were clogged, my nose, my...

7:37 Drew That's what you keep getting.

7:38 Adam Did you float him the dildo story?

7:41 Caller No.

7:41 Good, smart.

7:43 Adam All right. Well, it's not connected to the dildo.

7:46 Drew That's right.

7:48 Adam Man. I don't know if we answered your question other than we checked it off the list.

7:54 Drew That's right.

7:55 Adam Anson? Yes. You're 19?

7:58 Caller 18.

7:58 Adam 18. What's up?

8:01 Caller I have a lot of spare time at my work and I was reading that you had a name Ace Rockolla or something.

8:09 Drew He's never heard of Lightning Round.

8:10 Caller No.

8:11 Drew Uh-uh.

8:12 Adam Yeah.

8:13 Yeah.

8:13 Drew What were you reading?

8:15 I was reading it off the Loveline message board.

8:18 Drew I see.

8:19 Yeah.

8:19 Adam You know what? I probably shouldn't be talking about this on the air, but when we travel, when Drew and I do these colleges, I travel, I check into the hotel as Ace Rockolla.

8:30 Drew I got to tell you, it is terribly uncomfortable. They're like, Ace? Yeah, that's me. Mr. Rockolla? Yes, sir.

8:38 Adam I know it sounds ridiculous, but we're in Wichita for Christ's sake. We're staying at the campus Hilton, and if I go in under my name, I'm going to have a bunch of frat guys phoning me for AM. You want to go out for a keger. But we hadn't done one in so long, and we did one a couple of weeks ago, and I was standing there going, hey, Adam Corolla, and she's like, nothing under that name. And I was like, they screwed up again. I'm going to kill those son of a bitches.

9:07 Drew It wasn't I actually that chimed in the H1 colon.

9:10 Adam It was Drew who actually chimed in, and Drew used to travel under the name Jimmy Kimmel. Ironically, Jimmy Kimmel got more popular than Drew, and now he's traveling under Chris Hardwick. All right. All right, there you go, Anson. All right. All right.

9:30 Drew Where did the name come from? I think was the question.

9:32 Adam Oh, I don't know. I can't remember. My friends always called me Ace. I grew up, people called me Ace, like you call a fat guy stretch.

9:41 Drew Where's the Ace Rockolla drop, Anderson?

9:44 Adam Oh, yeah, we do have an Ace Rockolla drop in there.

9:46 Ace Rockolla.

9:49 Adam It would be a good DJ name. Joe?

9:52 Yeah.

9:53 Adam You're 21.

9:54 Caller Yep.

9:55 Adam What's up?

9:56 Caller I got a question for Drew. I just quit smoking weed about 10 days ago. I'm getting ready to go into diversion. I just got a Dewey in possession of a lesson announced last week. And I keep getting headaches every night. I've been taking Tylenol and Aleve and...

10:15 Drew Aren't you having other problems, like feeling kind of jumpy and anxious and...

10:19 Caller Oh, yeah, but I expected that. It's just the headaches that...

10:22 Drew Yeah, that's all part of the withdrawal.

10:24 Adam What do you do? How does diversion work? What's that entail?

10:29 I'm not sure yet.

10:30 Caller I know some kind of class once a week. I haven't actually started yet. I just wanted to clean out my system, try and get out of diversion as quick as possible so I can get back to token.

10:43 Adam Right. Smart. You know what I... Let me tell you what I love about this god-awful society we live in. The guy who... Ken Cazoil, the guy who had destroyed my car many years ago, drunk and then fled in his vehicle. If I was in my car, I'd be dead, right? Completely totaled my car, nailed it drunk and then dragged his pickup truck. It was missing a front end and front tires several miles with sparks flying out and then fled on foot. Him, they can do nothing about. Him, they caught him and it's like, well, we can't really do anything. But my buddy who got busted for the pot plant in his apartment, oh yeah, he's getting...

11:24 Drew He's going to jail.

11:25 Adam Full extent of the law, baby. He's in classes, he's paying for rehab, he's on probation. How does that work, by the way?

11:33 Drew I don't know. I hope that one of the things that the new war creates is a realignment of priorities. Listen. It's nice to help people create motivation to seek treatment. But look at old Joe here. He's going to go through withdrawal, get depressed, go to some meetings for a couple of weeks, and then can't wait to get back to smoking pots. Ridiculous. What a waste of time.

11:56 Adam All right. All right, Joe.

11:57 Caller Exactly.

11:59 Adam Yeah. Well, good times, though. You know. Have you been busted a few times?

12:04 Caller No, this is my first time. And actually, check this out. I had stems. I didn't even have any weed. It was just marijuana stems.

12:12 Adam Yeah.

12:13 Caller Thousand dollar fine.

12:14 Adam You know, the problem is the court does not see the difference between dirt weed and good bud. That's the problem. It's just weed. It's ironic for the guy who gets caught with it. Because we all know a bunch of stems and seeds ain't worth anything.

12:29 Drew Joe really is a spicolor, though.

12:33 Hey, Joe.

12:34 Caller Yeah.

12:34 Drew Make him laugh.

12:36 Adam Oh, I can't do it with that kind of pressure. Joe.

12:39 Caller Yeah.

12:39 Adam You've been smoking weed pretty good for a few years.

12:43 Caller Yeah.

12:43 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, you know, the court, even though I don't agree with the court mandating you quit, they may be on to the, you know, move in the right direction with that. Maybe something you may want to think about.

12:55 Well, yeah.

12:56 Adam Okay. You do got your future to think about, right?

12:59 Drew No. No, no, no. That's the problem. I mean, are you able to get work and do you finish school?

13:03 Adam Oh, yeah.

13:04 Caller I'm doing great. I've got, I mean, I think I got my life together.

13:08 Drew Really? What are you doing for a living now?

13:10 Caller On the glassblower.

13:12 Adam I knew it.

13:13 Drew I take everything back.

13:15 Adam Who is this guy Glass? Is this his last name?

13:18 Drew Mr. Glass, you.

13:19 Bob Glass.

13:20 Caller I make glass pipes.

13:22 Adam Really? Like bongs and pipes?

13:24 Caller Oh, yeah.

13:25 Adam You make drug paraphernalia?

13:27 Caller Exactly.

13:29 Adam How does that work? You work at a little shop? Is it your shop?

13:33 Caller Yeah. We've got a warehouse. Me and my buddy, we just make pipes. We sell the distributors all over the US.

13:41 Adam You actually have a glass blowing facility?

13:46 Drew Well, it's a room. Yeah, a big, long metal pipe.

13:49 Adam How does that work? You just super heat that silica sand?

13:53 Drew You've seen that done, haven't you?

13:54 Adam Yeah, I've seen it done, but I've not seen it done in the sort of, from step one.

14:00 Caller It comes in four-foot tubes, and you break them down, and you just heat up, and it melts, put colors on, and...

14:10 Adam How high do you have to heat it to?

14:14 Caller About 2,000 degrees. It starts getting molten about 1700, 1800, and...

14:21 Adam What are you doing, in a kiln or something?

14:23 Caller No, you kiln it after you're done, but it's basically like a little station with a fan and a torch, and the fan sucks away all the heat and byproducts and stuff.

14:38 Wow.

14:39 Adam I know he does it for a living. Why is it people can take even topics that are sort of interesting and make them the most boring on this show? Because he smokes a lot of weed? Is that what that is?

14:52 Drew You know, be a glassblower. His type of glassblower doesn't need the most erudite command of the language.

14:59 Adam I'll tell you. I think it's cool. I've seen those specials.

15:03 Drew Oh, really? Oh, the glassblowing?

15:04 Adam Yeah.

15:05 Drew Yeah. But how about glassblowing just a specific bong, a specific hash pipe over and over again? I mean, you got to be obsessed. You got to be obsessed with the drug to be just sitting there being turned on by smoking.

15:18 Adam Hey, Joe.

15:19 Drew Yeah.

15:19 Adam You ever put that tube in your ass and fart into it?

15:24 All the time, man.

15:25 Adam I'd give you any...

15:25 Drew All the time.

15:26 Adam No, he doesn't. I'd give him an extra 10 bucks if I thought that bong or pipe had been blown from ass, ass wind.

15:36 Drew Good times.

15:37 Adam Thank you. Elizabeth?

15:38 Caller Yeah.

15:39 Adam What's the matter, baby?

15:42 Caller Thank you guys for taking my call, first of all.

15:44 Adam Sure.

15:46 Caller I just found out today that my boyfriend died of a heroin overdose yesterday.

15:53 Drew Did you know he was a heroin addict?

15:55 Caller I knew. He told me that he hadn't been doing it. I mean, I thought that he had stopped. He met some girl last year. He started. He's always smoked weed. And then last summer, he just started getting into like more drugs. Like he was doing ecstasy. And I mean, like, he would just shoot his tolerance level up really quick, you know? And I mean, like he was taking like 10 pills in one night. And he just kept doing it and doing it. And then finally he met this girl and she introduced him to heroin. And he was doing it for a while. And then he stopped. He stopped seeing her. He stopped hanging out with her. And I thought that it was done.

16:34 Drew No, there's no such thing. They have to engage in a very, very long-term treatment program where they're like, I mean, I had no idea. No, the reality is...

16:46 Adam But he's done now, so why aren't we getting into it?

16:48 Drew Because the reality is he had a deadly disease.

16:51 Adam All right.

16:51 Drew And he's had that for quite some time. And heroin addicts die. They don't stop.

16:57 Caller I mean, he was a third-year college student. He was on the dean's list. He graduated third in his high school class. We spent together for like four years.

17:05 Drew It's an awful disease. If you know somebody who is using heroin, consider their life in grave danger. And a significant proportion of them will die of this. Unless there is some substantial focus on treatment. Death is a probable outcome.

17:21 Adam Thanks.

17:22 Drew No, but it's a matter of dealing with reality. It's not wanting to do... You know, that's part of how you manage dealing with somebody like this dying, which is addressing the reality of it. And that's...

17:32 Adam It is?

17:33 Drew Yes, that is, because otherwise...

17:35 Adam I think that's sunk in for her.

17:36 Drew No, otherwise it becomes, how could this happen? How could this happen? Well, it happened because...

17:39 Caller Exactly. I mean, it's just... I just found out today and I guess he... Someone found him in his dorm room yesterday. Just...

17:47 Adam Well, let me... Let me... Drew, shut up for a second. How old was he?

17:51 Caller Twenty.

17:51 Adam And you guys are currently together?

17:55 Caller Yeah, he... He goes to a school back east. I just moved out here and we've been together for four years.

18:03 Adam We... We... Yeah, that's too sad. I was... I feel bad now. Were you planning on, you know, getting married and having a life and everything?

18:13 Caller I mean, like, he was the one, you know? He was the one for me. I mean, we were just perfect together and everyone knew that we were gonna be together and I just...

18:22 Drew Yeah, but he had a bad disease.

18:24 Caller But I didn't...

18:25 Drew A really bad disease.

18:26 Adam Well, what can we do for you, Elizabeth?

18:28 Caller I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. I mean, I've been involved in my life for just so long and I just don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him.

18:38 Adam You got friends?

18:40 Caller Yeah, but they're all back home.

18:42 Adam And do you have, you don't have anybody where you are?

18:45 Caller I do, but I mean...

18:47 Adam I think you should spend time with... Absolutely. Even if it's just a couple of people. I think you need to not be alone right now. You know what I mean?

18:58 Caller I just, I can't eat and I know I'm not gonna be able to sleep and I don't know what I'm gonna do.

19:03 Drew But that's normal. There's a certain amount of that is normal. It's a horrible shock and it's a major loss. But what you have to begin dealing with is that he is not who you thought he was. He was a heroin addict, a bad one.

19:18 Adam Who told you about the news?

19:20 Caller This is really bad. I was online today and one of his friends, none of his friends had my new phone number out here. And he told me on the computer and I was like, you know, I didn't believe him. I'm like, shut up. You know, that's not true. And I called his dad and his dad just started crying. And that's how I found out.

19:44 Adam And so is he from where you are now?

19:47 Caller No, he's from the East Coast.

19:51 Adam And you were from the East Coast?

19:53 Drew He just moved out here.

19:54 Adam You just moved out to go to college?

19:56 Caller Yeah.

19:56 Adam Alright, so are you going back for the services and everything?

19:59 Caller Yeah, I have to find out tomorrow, like when all the services are and I'm going to go back there and stuff. But, I mean, I just had, I mean, really, like before when he was, I'm sorry, I'm taking up your guys' time.

20:12 Adam That's alright.

20:14 Caller Before last summer when he was when he was using a lot, like you could tell because he didn't he didn't want to, you know, talk to me. He didn't want anything to do with me. He just was he was always mean to me, you know, telling me to get away and stuff. And I was like trying to stay involved in his life. And and then when he told me that he had stopped, then there was just a complete change in him. And he was back to the way that he was, you know, before and he was just loving and he wanted to talk to me all the time. And it just came out of nowhere, nowhere.

20:42 Adam All right. Well, but here, okay, here's the bottom line.

20:45 Drew Not nowhere, Elizabeth. The people that are heroin addicts don't stay stopped. They don't.

20:49 All right.

20:49 Drew Not without a lot, a lot, a lot of treatment.

20:52 All right.

20:53 Adam But look, here's the deal. This is, you know, in no way your fault. That he had a disease. It has nothing to do with you. And there's no, I mean, you know, there's nothing you can do at this, at this point. Just grieve, you know, be around people, be around the people that you love and that love you and that loved him when you go back for, for the services.

21:17 Drew Where is your family?

21:18 Caller My family's here. I live here with my family.

21:21 Drew Your parents?

21:22 Caller Yeah.

21:23 Drew Do they know what you're dealing with right now?

21:25 Caller Yeah, they know.

21:27 Adam How long ago did you move where you are?

21:30 Caller Like three days before school started.

21:32 Drew So a couple of weeks ago?

21:34 Caller Yeah. Like a month or so ago.

21:37 All right.

21:38 Adam Be with, be with a support group.

21:40 All right.

21:41 Caller Yeah.

21:42 Drew Take care of yourself.

21:43 Adam Call us back.

21:43 Drew We're going to get your number and call you back a couple of days. All right.

21:45 Caller Okay. Thank you so much.

21:46 Adam All right. Take care of yourself.

21:48 Drew Can you imagine the stress of moving the way the world's changed and now this and you're 18. You know, September 11th move and then somebody really care about goes.

21:57 Adam Yeah. You know, I almost wonder if maybe you should, maybe you're getting it over with.

22:05 I mean, maybe you just smile on.

22:06 Drew I mean, she'll be happy the rest of her life. I don't know how the measure will be now.

22:10 Adam What I mean is there's, I believe there's probably almost so much pain you can experience and then you just sort of red line on pain. I mean, it's about it.

22:20 Drew You could deal with anything after that.

22:22 Adam I don't know. No, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is, it's like getting into a car accident where you puncture a lung, break some ribs, have a concussion, break a hip. I'd rather just do it one accident. That's what she's got. I don't want to spread it out over five years. She's getting all her pain into a six-month period, and then hopefully, God willing, she'll be good after that. We'll take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to David. Been masturbating since he was 10. Now, his ejaculation isn't right. He's the ripe old age of 13, by the way, after this. Drew went to the dentist today, everybody.

23:13 Drew It hurt.

23:15 Adam Afterwards, it looks like Jack Manning.

23:17 Drew Wow, yeah, it really hurt.

23:20 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-E-191.

23:23 Drew Broke a tooth and went in there and thought, oh, they'll look at it and send me home.

23:28 Adam Drew, Drew hates dentists, and he hates attorneys. Those are the two guys he hates. And I think as a doctor, professionally, you look at them as your sort of arch nemesis. That's your competition.

23:41 Drew I like the dentist. It was great. I walked in and did the work.

23:43 Adam I like the dentist.

23:45 Drew It just hurt.

23:46 Adam Listen, dentist. Don't get me going on the dentist. I know I love the dentists. It's always like this. Look, you guys, every time I go to my dentist, it's the same thing. Would you guys do something? Would you have some kind of technological breakthrough? What's with the filing and the packing and the filling and the Novocaine shot in the gum? How much has this changed since the turn of the century? Oh, no, no, no, he says. They have laser beams now. It's a pulse light laser. It needs no anesthetic. It cleans out the cavity. Then it's packed with a polymer that has no... Yeah, like, okay, well, give me that. Oh, we don't have that. We got to drill. It's like, okay, okay, listen, there are jets that are capable of going three times the speed of sound. But until I get to take one to New York, it is not a breakthrough that I benefit from. You cannot start bragging about it. I know you guys...

24:44 Drew Until it's used on your mouth.

24:46 Adam That's what I'm saying.

24:47 Drew Corolla is a threshold.

24:47 Adam Until it becomes part of the mainstream of your industry, you cannot talk about what it is. Right. I don't care what the president and Liza Minnelli get. I want the common man, me, the literal millionaire. David?

25:06 Yeah.

25:07 Adam You're 13?

25:08 Caller Yeah.

25:08 Adam What's up?

25:09 Caller All right. I've been mass reading since I was like 10. And I had a question if...

25:14 Adam Hold on. Was something coming out at age 10?

25:18 Caller Well, it did start coming out for about a month or two.

25:22 Drew Oh, but it was still at 10? It was stuff coming out?

25:24 Caller Yeah.

25:25 Wow.

25:26 Drew Did you have like the hair and that kind of thing? Were you matured at 10?

25:29 Caller Yeah, I was already matured because like my cousin, he was 25 and he had some point of videos in his room. He just got me started on it.

25:38 Adam Sure.

25:38 Drew Did he hand you electric toothbrush?

25:40 Adam What a... Oh, shut up, Drew. How dare you bring that up? What a dynamite individual your 25 year old cousin was. You're 10. It's time you started beating off.

25:52 Drew My kids are 9.

25:53 Adam Hold on a second. You can't have semen come out of your penis at 10. You can't. Unless you have some sort of semen producing tumor. You can't have...

26:05 Drew You can at 11. You certainly can at 12.

26:09 Adam What... How old are you at 10? Are you in the third grade? I mean, how... Oh, shut up. What grade are you in at 10? You're third grade? Oh, Drew, let's not get going on this. Are you really in the fifth grade?

26:20 Drew Sixth, eleventh, twelfth is...

26:22 Adam Don't get going on this again. I think you're... I think you could be in the fourth grade at 10. I bet there's more fourth graders at 10.

26:28 Drew You could be, yeah, you could be in fourth grade.

26:29 Adam I think there's more that are in the fourth grade.

26:32 Drew All right, all right, whatever.

26:33 Adam Thank you. So let's say fourth grade. Can you produce semen in the fourth grade? Is that possible? Hold on. Where is he? Line three.

26:45 Dude, you beat off David.

26:47 Caller Yeah.

26:47 Adam He really something you had to clean yourself up at age 10 after you were done.

26:52 Caller Yeah, because like I was in fifth grade, by the way, because I started school. But I would like do it. And after the first couple of times, I thought I would just after I like had a good feeling, I decided I'd keep on doing it. And then like after that, it just like started coming out.

27:12 Adam And you were looking at hardcore porn?

27:14 Caller Yeah, like the hardcore stuff that shows everything.

27:17 Adam Oh, man. And now you're 13 and it's like you're a Vietnam vet. So now what's going on?

27:24 Caller Now it's just like takes longer and it's just really weird.

27:29 Drew It's really weird? Why?

27:30 Caller Yeah, because like whenever I start beating off, I'm like, it's all just some reason that it'll just like, it'll get soft. It won't feel hard.

27:41 Drew How often are you doing this?

27:43 Caller I do it like every night.

27:44 Drew Why don't you give yourself a couple of days off?

27:47 Adam Well, there's something coming out of it.

27:48 Caller Oh, yeah. Every time, basically.

27:50 Drew Well, if something comes out, then it gets soft?

27:53 Caller Well, no, I'll wait. I'll do it like every day, like every night or maybe in the morning sometimes. But like the past couple of days I haven't been doing in the morning, but I'll do it every night about once or twice. And the first time I'll try to do it, I'll do it, like start doing it and then it will just go soft on me.

28:11 Drew And then you'll be able to pick back up again.

28:13 Caller Yeah, and then it's hard to like get it back up.

28:15 Drew But then you do it and something comes out of you.

28:17 Caller Yeah.

28:18 Drew And then you do it again and something comes out of you.

28:20 Caller Yeah, but I have to wait about like 30 minutes.

28:22 Drew All right, relax. All sounds fine.

28:25 Caller Whoa!

28:25 Adam Hey, David.

28:26 Oh, my God!

28:27 Somebody hold the phones!

28:29 Caller I can't believe that!

28:31 Adam David's upset that there's not just a steady flow of semen coming out of his penis.

28:36 Drew Yes, and that the erections should ever go down.

28:38 Adam David, I wake up at 8 and semen starts coming out of my penis. And, you know, I take a shower and I get dressed. I go to school in semen. I leave a trail of semen from my house to where the school bus picks me up. And then out of the school bus through the exhaust pipe, I leave a trail of semen. And like bread crumbs to grandma's house. But then around noon, it stops during lunch.

29:01 Drew And I'm very upset.

29:02 Adam And I'm very upset. But then the trail of semen begins coming out of my penis again. He was like, I do it in the morning and then, you know, during the day and then at night.

29:16 Drew Yeah, I like that. I do it once a day and sometimes in the morning and sometimes twice at night. And then I do it in the day.

29:23 Adam All right, that's good. You're 13, Dave. Just give that penis a rest for just a second. Thank you. Okay. You give yourself something to look forward to. Nina?

29:32 Drew Go for a record, like two days or three days without doing it.

29:36 Adam Right. Nina? You're not talking to me, are you? Nina?

29:39 Caller Hello?

29:40 Adam Are you Nina?

29:41 Caller Dina?

29:42 Adam Oh, Dina?

29:43 Caller Dina with a G.

29:46 Adam Oh, Gina.

29:47 Drew Dina.

29:48 Adam Dina. Say that again. Say that again.

29:52 Caller Dina.

29:53 Adam Okay. How come your Gina sounds like you're starting it with a D?

29:57 Caller I have no idea.

29:59 Drew Do you have another language you speak as a first language?

30:01 Caller Yes.

30:02 Drew Yeah, there you go.

30:02 Adam Oh, there you go. All right.

30:04 Caller What's up? I'm losing hair everywhere. And I think, I mean, it seems to have been going on. Like, I think it's been going on for a couple of years. But I think it's just recently become really, really noticeable.

30:21 Drew Where? Where has it become noticeable?

30:24 Caller The pubic area, my eyebrows.

30:28 Drew The lateral part of the eyebrow, just the outside of the eyebrows?

30:31 Caller No.

30:31 Drew The whole eyebrow. Well, classically, thyroid disease causes the eyebrow loss.

30:36 Adam What about you?

30:37 Caller I've been tested for that.

30:38 Drew You've been tested for thyroid? And there can be adrenal disease that can cause pubic hair loss, hair, leg loss.

30:43 Adam Well, how big a deal is it on your pubes?

30:47 Caller Well, it's a big deal, surprisingly.

30:50 Adam Why?

30:51 Caller I don't know. It just, it really, I think it's like an issue of the fact that I feel like everything's sort of always snapped back and it's not snapping back. I thought it was like maybe I was bleaching my hair or something like that, but...

31:09 Adam Well, no, I know it's upsetting, but what I'm saying is, it's not bad to have a small amount of hair in the pubic region. That you could deal with, right?

31:18 Caller Yeah, of course I could deal with it if I wasn't losing it everywhere else. Right. On my head, on my eyebrows.

31:23 Adam Right.

31:23 Drew And you're losing it on your head too. Now, that's noticeable as well?

31:26 Caller Yeah.

31:27 Drew Are you taking any medication?

31:28 Caller No.

31:29 Drew Nothing.

31:29 No.

31:30 Drew Doing any drugs?

31:31 No.

31:32 Drew Hmm. Well?

31:33 Caller I was on the pill for like four months. That was like, that was a couple years ago.

31:38 Drew Have you talked, you said you saw a doctor about being tested for thyroid.

31:41 Caller I saw a doctor, they checked me for thyroid and they checked me for... for testosterone.

31:48 Drew Well, you want to keep looking. This is an unusual symptom and it is something that sometimes is caused by an immune attack on hair follicles. You might want to talk to a dermatologist about this. See if they can get the other control in.

32:00 Adam Well, are they have hair specialists?

32:03 Caller Well, here's my other concern is that my period's been really weird the last few months. But it's really a lot less than I used to have a really, really heavy period. And it's just kind of like, it starts but it seems like something's holding it back.

32:21 Adam Maybe it's all that hair. Maybe it's like a big dam of hair in your vagina and the blood can't get past it. Everyone close their eyes and picture a big blood dam.

32:30 Caller Okay.

32:31 Drew Blood and hair bezoar.

32:32 Adam Okay, so what should you do? Go to an endocrinologist?

32:35 Drew Well, the endocrinologist, dermatologist, these are the two types of doctors you want to talk to. I've been tested for thyroid, otherwise it looked okay. Adrenal gland is something she should be tested for. Autoimmune diseases she needs to be tested for.

32:47 Adam Aren't there folks that specialize in hair falling out of people?

32:51 Drew Dermatologists should be able to handle that.

32:52 Adam Okay. I don't know. These dermatologists are not such geniuses. I went to one once because I had the neck rash. He told me grow a beard. I swear to God, that was his advice.

33:05 Drew Very imaginative.

33:06 Adam And it's always great when they give you a whole bunch of nothing, like stuff you know is not going to work while he's telling you. At least you should think it's going to work. You know, they go, well, make sure the water is real hot. You shave with, and you're like, okay, there's nothing. That's nothing number one. What's nothing number two? It's good to take your razor and keep it rubbing alcohol. Okay, thank you. That's number, what's that, number two, nothing. And if it's, you know, if it's irritated, you should go ahead and put some eye, you know, then put the cold water. Okay, thank you. Is that nothing number three? There's a trifecta. Thank you. How much do I owe you? Thank you. I'll go home and do nothing. So you're telling me nothing. I wish people would just go nothing. And actually this guy did.

33:52 Drew He said grow a beard. Weren't you taking that, using that depilatory stuff for a while that the black guys use?

33:56 Adam No.

33:56 Drew Weren't you going to do that?

33:58 Adam I always claim to, yes, but I never do get around that. Because I'm always weird buying the black guy beard stuff at the save-ons. I don't want them to think I'm in the Panthers or something. What's this dude buying the weird black guy stuff? Plus, that stuff's always spooky.

34:13 Drew Stinky.

34:14 Adam The weird black guy products in the shave department are always weird. First off, they're black guy color. And now I know how the black people feel about us and our white band-aids. I feel weird as the white dude with the black guy stuff. It's that weird kind of mocha milky color. And it's always got a weird funkin smell. That wasn't a swear word. And there's always a guy who looks like Franco Harrison, the thing with the big beard or something. It's just weird. It always seems a little dicey to me. But thank you. Claire?

34:47 Yeah.

34:47 Adam You're 16? What's up?

34:51 Caller Okay. Basically, there's this girl at my school. And I don't find her attractive or anything. But I find myself talking about her all the time, talking about how I want to look like her, want to be like her, want to be her friend. And my friends are sick of me listening to me talk about her. And that sort of thing. I mean, I don't want to like, you know, anything lesbian with her, anything. It's just I want to be her. And it's sort of creeping my friends out.

35:20 Adam Why do you want to be her?

35:22 Caller Well, I mean, we look the same pretty much, you know, same hair color, same, you know.

35:25 Drew You want to be her from a style standpoint? You actually believe you'd like to be her?

35:30 Caller Be her. Like, have her friends.

35:33 Drew What's up with you that there's not enough clear around to sort of...

35:38 Caller I mean, I don't know. Like, I don't think I have really great self-esteem.

35:42 Drew Yeah, it's like emptiness. They have to fill it with someone else's identity.

35:47 Adam Why do you say bad things about her, though, if you want to be her?

35:49 Caller Oh, no, I don't say bad things about her. I just talk about her all the time. I'll say, oh, I saw her...

35:53 Drew She's obsessed with her. You got anything else going on, Claire?

35:55 Adam Sounds just as bad things.

35:56 Drew Do you pull hair out or anything? Are you obsessed with compulsive?

35:59 Caller I used to cut myself.

36:00 Drew Yeah. So what happened to you?

36:03 Caller I don't know. I mean, I never had any, like, you know, nothing bad in my background. No molestation, nothing like that.

36:10 Drew No over-intrusive mom or alcoholic mom?

36:13 Caller No. I mean, alcohol runs in my family, but my parents are totally against alcohol, everything. I don't drink drugs or anything.

36:21 Adam Why do you think you singled her out as somebody to obsess on?

36:25 Caller I don't know. I think it's maybe because I look like her already and just... Well, I don't know.

36:30 Adam I did that with Greg Brady for a while, so I have a point. Hey, do you...

36:36 Drew It's an idealized life that she can sort of identify with. It's like it's a fantasy. She could step into her life and get away from Clare's.

36:42 Adam Do you know her? Do you spend any time with her?

36:45 Caller No, she like ignores me, but you know...

36:48 Adam I understand... Well, she ignores you, but you don't know her, right?

36:51 Caller Right. I mean, like, she's in my class, a bunch of my classes, that sort of thing, so I see her every day.

36:55 Adam Right.

36:56 Caller But I don't talk to her. I don't know her.

36:57 What do you think...

36:59 Adam I mean, what would it be like for you to strike up a conversation or a relationship with her?

37:04 Caller She'd probably laugh at me. I mean, like...

37:06 Adam Well, I don't mean from an obsessed fan's standpoint, but just from a friend's standpoint.

37:12 Caller From a friend's standpoint, I... She might... You mean, like, would she find me interesting? Would she like to talk to me?

37:19 Adam No, I mean, I think maybe you could get over this, and maybe I'm wrong, but my hunch is, is if you got to know her as a person, you would obsess less about her because it wouldn't be like she was a celebrity or something, like you would know her.

37:36 Caller Yeah.

37:37 Drew Nope.

37:38 Adam Yeah. It would do it. Yeah. It would work. It would work.

37:42 Drew Didn't you say I was a single white female? Some things really get weird.

37:45 Adam No, they get weird at the beginning, and then they mellow out because they're kind of... They become human beings. She's not a human being. She's like this weird symbol, the symbol that's floating around.

37:55 Caller So if I just, you know...

37:56 Adam Well, this is a lame... Drew's right. That's lame. Look, you need to get over this.

38:01 Drew Well, you need to develop some self-esteem and some real relationships. And I'm very, very concerned. I mean, you're how old? You're 16. It's a little old to be doing that kind of stuff.

38:11 Adam Don't you... Is there anything you like besides obsessing over chicks that look like you in high school?

38:18 Caller Let's see. I love music, that sort of thing.

38:21 Drew Do you play an instrument?

38:22 Caller No, I just, I like listening to it. I like, I like exercising. I don't really have many hobbies.

38:30 Drew Right. I've got to develop some, some more, you need some stuff.

38:33 Caller I mean, and plus, like, I don't really have, like, any close friends. I have one close friend.

38:35 Drew Yeah, but that's what you need, Claire. You need to spend time with people who are available for you, and spend time talking about how you feel, not about obsessional thinking, but your feelings about yourself.

38:44 Adam Yeah. We're going to take ourselves a little break when we come back. We'll speak to Kyle, who's 14, plays in a band, and the vibration hurts his right testicle. Do you think he's hitting his nuts with a tuning fork, or it's the vibration that's coming off the speakers?

39:02 Drew You know, the guys let the guitar hang down, they smack the guitar.

39:04 Adam Yeah, they do sling that thing pretty low. All right, we'll talk to Kyle, who's nut hurts from the music after this.

39:12 Hello. Hi, this is Jonathan from Korn, and you're listening to Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew on...

39:25 Drew This guy's coming back.

39:27 Adam I heard from Korn's manager, who I ran into somewhere, Peter, that the band's in the studio, coming out with a big album soon, and we'll be in here fairly soon.

39:43 So...

39:43 Drew December, January, or something like that. I'm translating.

39:47 Adam He sounds good. Yeah. Don't know, but that was the last I heard. So the guys will be in here. Okay, let's get back to phones. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Speak to Kyle, who's 14. Kyle plays in a band. Kyle?

40:04 Caller Yeah, yeah, I play in a band, all right.

40:06 Adam What's the name of your band?

40:07 Caller It's KOB, Kings of Blazing.

40:11 Adam Of Blazing?

40:12 Caller Yeah.

40:13 Adam That's nice. You mean like acid?

40:15 Caller Blazing, no. Bud, pot.

40:18 Adam Oh, that bud, yeah.

40:20 Drew Oh, my God. Oh, you're high now. You're loaded now, though.

40:24 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I do it like every day.

40:28 Drew No kidding. How many parents don't notice that?

40:33 Adam No way, no way.

40:34 Caller I do it at school, too.

40:36 Adam Good, okay. Well, we're impressed.

40:40 Caller So, yeah.

40:41 Adam How do your parents not know you're baked?

40:44 Caller I don't know. They just don't know.

40:46 Adam Maybe they don't care, right?

40:49 Caller I don't know. They probably do it.

40:51 Adam They smoke weed, too, you think?

40:52 Drew I don't know.

40:54 Caller That'd be bad if they did.

40:55 Really? Why?

40:56 Caller I don't know.

40:58 Caller Smoke them out.

40:59 Adam You don't have to smoke out with them, though. But, okay. So anyway, you smoke a ton of weed. You're in a band.

41:06 Caller Yeah.

41:06 Drew Kind of just for the sake of information. There is good evidence that under the age of 15, pot does do something to your brain.

41:13 Caller Oh, yeah?

41:13 Drew It doesn't. The part of your brain, your right frontal part of the brain, the part you use to develop with, doesn't grow. Maybe even shrinks.

41:22 Caller I know it hurts me and all, but I still like doing it.

41:25 Drew I understand that. I get that. I get that part.

41:29 Adam Well, Kyle, if you like doing it, then that's cool.

41:32 Caller All right. All right. So I play in a band and like, you know, I play guitar and like, we're like pretty popular band around school and stuff. And we're playing, when we play a concert, it's like the answer is so high. Like the vibrations just like get to me and like just hit, like, I don't know, for some reason, my ball, my testicles just like starts hurting. And I play football for like PE. And like, you know, I'll like turn left and then like, sometimes it'll just start hurting and I'll have to like sit down and like, everybody will be like, what happened? I'm like, oh, I hurt my back.

42:08 Drew You need to have a doctor look at that. There could be a lot of different things.

42:11 Caller Like, could it be the weed?

42:13 Drew No, that's the one thing it probably isn't. Could be a hernia, could be a torsion, could be a tumor, could be a lot of things.

42:19 Adam This is out there theory, but do you use a bong?

42:22 Caller I use everything.

42:24 Adam Yeah, see, sometimes guys have those long bongs. This happened to a friend of mine.

42:28 Drew Sucked his testy right into it?

42:30 Adam Well, yeah, he got his nut cut in a carb. He was, you know, you put the bong kind of between your legs and you lean back, and the carb was a little low, and he was doing a load in his underpants, and he was sucking it pretty good because there was a lot of resins in the stem, and his finger slipped off the carb because it was greasy from some nachos he ate, and one of his nuts actually sucked inside of the carb, and then he actually inhaled his sack. Oh, that's good. And it was tough getting it out of there.

42:58 Drew Out of his throat.

42:59 Adam Well, I remember doing the second load with his nuts in there because it was golden. You know what I mean?

43:04 Drew Yeah, you don't want to waste it.

43:05 I don't want to waste it.

43:08 Caller I just want to say, like, also, like, Adam, I heard Israel, like, I've been listening forever.

43:13 Yeah.

43:14 Caller And Drew, like, that one, like, kid that called you like asshole and stuff, like, oh, man, that guy's a jerk. Like, if you weren't here...

43:23 Drew Asshole. Well, thanks, Kyle, but you know what? His memory is better than ours. I don't know what he's talking about.

43:29 Caller I know.

43:29 Adam It's amazing. He smokes a ton of weed. And he's twice as lucid as we are. That's age. Kyle, easy on the weed. Go to the doctor for the nut sack. And here's the deal, by the way. When you're on stage, your nuts will take a pounding. And if you're on stage in front of a large group, especially as a young lad, you should be stuffing multiple tube socks down under pants anyway.

43:52 Drew Not just to depress people, but to protect your testes from the vibrations.

43:55 Adam Acoustic sound waves. Right. So I'm sure if you take your nuts and you go ahead and you wrap them in bubble paper, that's what I do whenever I go on stage. Because I don't want to get hit with a bottle from 20 rows back right in the groin, you know. That'll help protect it. David?

44:13 Yeah.

44:13 Adam You're 28?

44:14 Caller Yeah.

44:14 Adam What's up?

44:15 Caller I wanted to ask a question. A friend of mine, he cooked up some coke and put it in a sterile water vial. I didn't use the same needle. I used my own needles, but I used the same vial. What are the chances or is it a high risk of catching anything from using the same vial?

44:31 Drew Is he using the same needle over and over?

44:33 Caller No, no, no. Using the same vial that he had put the coke in.

44:36 Drew Is he using the same? Who else is using that vial?

44:38 Caller I don't know. He said he didn't use the vial, but just out of curiosity, if he were to use the same vial.

44:43 Drew I mean, if somebody used a sterile needle every time they drew out of that vial, obviously the needles are all sterile. Obviously, you can't introduce any bacteria or viruses into that vial.

44:54 Caller But if he had used the same needle over.

44:55 Drew If he used the same needle over, it's the same as you're sharing a needle with him.

44:58 Caller Oh, really? What about collapsed veins? Do they come back or are they gone after they're clotted?

45:04 Drew They're not collapsed, they're clotted. And that's it. They're scarred up and that's the end of it.

45:08 Adam Oh, you hear collapsed, but that's a misnomer. I mean, they're not collapsed.

45:12 Drew They're clotted.

45:13 Adam Scar tissue.

45:14 Drew Scarred up and clotted. I guess you can re-catalyze sometimes, but for the most part, that's it.

45:18 Adam Now, you say he cooks up the coke and then he puts it into a sterile vial.

45:23 Caller Yeah, sterile vial. Like it was an empty sterile water vial and he put it in there.

45:29 Drew How about dealing with your disease, your addiction disease?

45:32 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm trying to deal with right now.

45:34 Drew Where are you going for that?

45:36 Caller I just checked out a couple of places right now.

45:39 Drew Well, you know, the important thing, most, you live in San Francisco, the Haydash Free Clinic has got really good services up there. Check out what they've got and don't waste any time. Just go before you accidentally do get exposed to something that might be irreversibly life-threatening.

45:54 Adam All right.

45:54 Drew You know, the hard part with addiction is getting going. So if you're thinking about it, just take your butt up there and do it.

46:00 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. All right. Shooting coke. Just shooting anything. I mean, it's just so brutal. It's such an easy way to die.

46:15 Drew Listen, smoking heroin, easy way to die. Smoking cocaine, easy way to die. Yeah. All easy ways to die.

46:23 Adam Easier to do it shooting, right? Because you have a whole dangerous application part that you're missing with the other part, right?

46:30 Caller Yeah.

46:31 Adam Smoking heroin, easy way to die? Really?

46:35 Drew I kind of have a suspicion that's what that one was that we talked earlier.

46:38 Adam Easier to die smoking than shooting heroin?

46:40 Drew No.

46:41 Adam Easier to die smoking coke than shooting coke? Maybe.

46:45 Drew Maybe.

46:46 Adam Hard problems?

46:46 Drew Maybe.

46:47 Adam All right.

46:47 Caller We'll be back.

46:51 Hey, Loveline, everybody.

46:53 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. The band DEMA will be in here tomorrow night. All right. Let's hop back to the phone. Sometimes I like to not talk for a few seconds and see if Drew talks.

47:10 Drew Because here's the DEMA.

47:11 Adam They never does. Here's the DEMA, everybody.

47:13 Drew Another one of our intros.

47:15 Pumper. Yeah.

47:16 Adam They'll be in here tomorrow night. Tell them all about this song. We like this song. Phil is on line 3. Phil is 18.

47:25 Phil, how are you doing, guys?

47:27 Adam What's up?

47:29 Caller Adam, I have a question you might appreciate. It's kind of interesting, kind of scary at the same time. It seems like every once in a while I get dehydrated and I feel kind of woozy or whatever. And I sit down and try and take a crap. But instead of solid coming out, it comes out to be a liquid. It's not diarrhea, it's like almost like I'm f***ed.

47:55 Drew Well, that is diarrhea, it's bad diarrhea.

47:58 Caller I'm curious to know what would cause this because it's like a stream.

48:03 Drew Usually an infection causes that. What do you mean it happens every so often?

48:08 Caller Well, I'm at college right now so the food is not that great. Every once in a while I'll get a little bit of that coming out. But I'm trying to figure out what causes it.

48:19 Drew Well, again, it's diarrhea. If you really want to know, you'd have to see a gastroenterologist and get an endoscopy and get stool cultures done. You may all just be irritable bowel. Do you have periods of constipation too?

48:30 Caller Not really.

48:31 Drew I don't know what it is. How long have you been having it for?

48:35 Caller It's not that frequent. I mean, it happens every so often.

48:38 Drew How long has this been going on?

48:40 Caller It started probably about a year ago.

48:42 Drew So, again, exactly whether maybe it's related to something higher up in your gastrointestinal tract, I don't know.

48:47 Adam What's the connection with the dehydration?

48:50 Drew Do you really, have you over-exerted yourself when this happens?

48:54 Caller Honestly, it happened a while ago, the last time, so I don't recall.

48:59 Adam All right.

49:00 Drew It's called diarrhea.

49:01 Adam The guy had diarrhea twice last year.

49:03 Caller Oh, God.

49:06 Adam I sit on the toilet and it's like, P comes out of my asshole. You play you, Drew.

49:13 Drew That would be diarrhea.

49:15 Adam But I'm sitting.

49:17 Drew Yeah, and that's, you know, liquid could be irritable bowel.

49:20 Adam But it's like water coming out of my ass.

49:23 Drew It really is like talking to primitive man, pro-magnon man.

49:28 Adam The volcano god cursed my anus and forced liquid to come out instead of solid matter. And it was bad.

49:35 Drew I mean, literally, primitive man going, holy, oh, hey. Calling his friends to come look at it.

49:42 Adam I tried to pursue the dehydration part of it.

49:45 Drew I know, I know.

49:46 Adam But he didn't seem to have an answer for that one. It just happened a long time ago, so we can't remember. But that's diarrhea. And if you want to go get yourself checked out, that probably couldn't hurt. Alrighty, let's talk to Jessica. Is that you, Jessica?

50:02 Caller Hi, what's up?

50:03 Adam What's happening?

50:04 Actually, I have a question about my sexuality.

50:07 Adam Alright, lesbian. Next.

50:10 Drew No, no, come on. Alright, what's the deal?

50:13 Okay, basically, let's say I'm with a guy, right? I'll be dating a guy. I'll be sexually active with them. I don't like it. I actually don't like sex, and I don't know why.

50:25 Drew You're a lesbian, okay?

50:26 No. We know that. Wait, I can't just put words like that out now. But I like, I'll be with a guy, you know, I'll judge guys, and I think they're cute. I like him a lot. I like strong arms or anything. But like, I can't always do anything with a girl. I've never done anything with a girl except kissing. I meet out with a girl. I'm actually, I make noises with a girl when I'm with a girl, but when I'm with guys, I'm quiet. I don't like sex.

50:50 Drew You make noises when I'm with a girl.

50:52 Sex is a guy, this is why I'm asking myself now, because I was confused before and I knew I was bisexual.

50:58 Hold on, hold on.

50:59 Drew You were confused before, you knew you were bisexual?

51:01 I knew I was bisexual, but now I'm confused more because a guy keeps on telling me, is this even doing anything for you?

51:07 Drew What is set your compass spinning?

51:10 What was that?

51:11 Adam Alright, hey Jessica, you make noises when you're with a girl.

51:16 Yeah.

51:17 Drew You're going to make her imitate?

51:19 Adam No, but you've all, quiet down, you've only kissed a girl.

51:23 Uh-huh, like kissed a girl and like, I've never done anything.

51:26 Drew She's trying to tell us that she's into it when she's with a girl.

51:29 Yeah, exactly.

51:30 Adam I know, but you're only kissing and you're making noises?

51:34 Like yeah, like I'm actually like, you know, I'm into it, you know, but.

51:37 Drew So that's what she's saying, even with sex with a guy, it's nothing, even just kissing with a girl. But what set you off? What made you so confused about your sexual identity? What happened to you?

51:48 The guy that I was with.

51:49 Drew No, no, no, no. No, before you ever dated anybody, what happened?

51:54 That I was confused?

51:55 Drew That made you confused, yeah.

51:57 Just making out with a girl when I was drunk and I actually.

52:01 Drew How old were you then?

52:02 I was 17.

52:03 Drew No.

52:05 No what?

52:07 Drew Help me, Anna, please. I don't like to be the one to ask these questions.

52:10 Adam Do you ever get molested or raped or hit with a golf club or anything?

52:15 Drew Nobody physically abused you or?

52:17 No, totally fine.

52:18 Drew Okay. Maybe then you're just lesbian and you're having trouble dealing with that.

52:23 I don't call myself a lesbian. I'm not a dyke. I don't have short hair.

52:27 Drew That has nothing to do with being a lesbian. I mean that's lipstick lesbians. You're a lesbian.

52:33 Adam What about your dad? Do you love him?

52:35 He's not in my family yet. He's up north actually.

52:38 Drew Didn't you say you had a perfect family?

52:41 Separated family. Who cares? I have separated parents.

52:44 Drew What happened when he left?

52:45 I was like one. So I don't know.

52:46 Drew Why did he leave?

52:48 Because my mom and dad just didn't get along.

52:51 Drew What was making them not get along? Was he alcoholic or something? Did he smack her around or something?

52:58 No. He was just physically abused.

53:01 All right. All right.

53:02 Adam Jessica, enjoy your life. I can't talk to you anymore. No. No. Everything was great. Everything was great. While my dad was gone. While he left when I was one. Why did he leave? Oh, they didn't get along. Was he an alcoholic? Yes. He smacked her around. No. But he was physically abused. No. No. No. No. Everyone with the no. No. No.

53:25 Caller No.

53:25 Drew You know what this is? This is rebound no. For about two weeks after the World Trade Center disaster, we had a lot of yes, a lot of openness. Now it's rebound no time. Okay. Any question we ask, it's no.

53:38 Adam Here's the bottom line, Jessica. No. There's issues with your dad. I'm sure who was an physically abusive, alcoholic, who abandoned the family. So there's some male issues there. But you still may be, and by the way, and I don't even want to talk to Jessica because we're not going to get an answer out of her, but the mom, no, the mom who saw fit to start a family with the abusive alcoholic probably found a couple other abusive alcoholic guys to bring around.

54:07 Drew In the meantime, sure.

54:08 Adam In the meantime.

54:09 Drew Absolutely. I don't even care about that, frankly. I was just trying to establish whether or not she had some confusion about her sexual identity, some major trauma that really sort of set her spinning. She didn't really have that. No. So she probably is lesbian. She just needs to deal with that.

54:25 Adam Right. No.

54:26 Drew No, no, no.

54:27 Adam David? You're 13?

54:29 Caller Yeah.

54:30 Adam No. What's up?

54:32 Caller All right. I've been masturbating constantly. Day, morning, showers. And the past two weeks I've been masturbating, but this time is different because each time I do it this time, when I'm about to have my...

54:46 Adam I don't believe him. Do you believe him?

54:48 Drew No. But I want to hear... I'm ready to hear the question. But the question is...

54:51 Caller The question is that I've been getting headaches, migraines, every time I, like, I'm about to come.

54:59 Drew Yeah.

55:00 Caller And I was wondering what's wrong with me because I get, like, big headaches and I just drop to the floor going crazy because it hurts, like migraines.

55:09 Drew Well, there is that. Do you have migraines? Yeah.

55:12 Adam Are you naked with an erection when you drop to the floor?

55:15 Caller No.

55:16 Adam What happened? Aren't you masturbating?

55:19 Yeah.

55:20 Adam How do you drop to the floor? How? Yeah. I mean, aren't you naked?

55:25 No.

55:25 Adam I thought you were beating off.

55:27 Caller Yeah. I'll beat my meat.

55:30 Drew I see. Yeah, you're triggering migraines. Let's just leave it at that.

55:34 All right. All right. All right. You're calling from Riverside?

55:38 Caller Yeah.

55:39 Adam You got to get out of Riverside.

55:40 Caller All right.

55:41 Adam All right. Good times, David. You got it on the air.

55:43 Caller All right.

55:43 Adam All right. Enjoy.

55:44 Caller Yeah.

55:45 Adam All right. I knew Dave was full of crap when the word got out. I beat my meat, like, all the time, like, in the shower, and then all the time, and I beat off, and I'm masturbating, and I get a headache.

56:06 Caller Here's my meat.

56:08 Adam Aaron?

56:08 Caller Hello?

56:09 Adam You're 27?

56:10 Caller Hello?

56:11 Drew Aaron?

56:11 Caller Yes?

56:12 Drew What's going on?

56:13 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew.

56:15 Caller Your radio, down.

56:16 Caller He's turning it down. Turn it down, down, down.

56:19 Adam All right, right, right.

56:21 Caller When I have oral sex with my boyfriend, I can't finish. I can't swallow. I get a stomach ache. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I was wondering what could be causing that.

56:32 Drew We're still hearing your radio.

56:33 Caller Turn your radio down.

56:35 Adam All right, hold on. I'll tell you, I don't really even mind the turn your radio down part. It's always the second lap of turn it down again that we get into on this show that seems to come up quite a bit.

56:49 Drew Be fair, you do mind the turn your radio down thing. The second lap is just completely incomprehensible.

56:53 Adam I have to say that I'm mildly annoyed at the first turn your radio down request. It's the second turn your radio down request that makes me want to kill. So hang on there, Aaron. You can float in purgatory for just a few minutes until we're ready to talk to you again. We must punish you. John? Yeah. You're 25?

57:15 Caller Yeah.

57:15 Adam What's up?

57:19 Caller I don't know. The big question that I have is, me and my wife have been married for about five years, and when we both first got married, we were both in shape. We kind of let it go. I guess there's still a lot of people that get used to things. But within the last year, I've lost, because I was overweight about 70 pounds, I've lost 60 pounds of that. Wow. And I'm trying to get my wife to belong, for me to get back into shape, and she doesn't want to.

57:49 Drew Now, that's her business.

57:50 Adam Did she say she doesn't want to?

57:53 Caller Well, she says she indicates that she does want to, and whenever I try to bring her along, she makes excuses. She says, you know, that she doesn't like the exercises I'm doing, that it's boring, but yet she'll, I guess, attempt to work out when she's at home, but she just doesn't do it that often.

58:16 Caller Right.

58:17 Adam Are you not physically attracted to her?

58:21 Caller Well, not as much as I used to be.

58:24 Drew Are you concerned about her health?

58:27 Caller Well, yeah.

58:28 Adam No. No, he's not. He's not, but it's a good angle to pursue. She's how old?

58:34 Caller She's 25.

58:35 Drew Any children?

58:36 Caller No, we don't have any children.

58:37 Adam And how old? She's 5'2, and 1'6, it says. And so she got a little heft on her, and she freaks out. I mean, this is tough. It's tough to broach this. Drew, you ever try this? What? It's a no-win situation. You ever have a woman, you're trying to get to lose a few pounds, and they'll beat the crap out of you before they do it? They start eating more when you suggest that.

59:05 Drew Oh, yeah. You know, I've actually never been in that situation. I really have not.

59:09 Adam Because you only date those cocores, right?

59:11 Drew You know, you used to tell me that Christina Ferraro used to say that was when her husband would say anything, like try to help her when she'd complain she wanted to die, and he'd like say, honey, you really think? And she'd just go, uh, poof, put it in her mouth, and just to spite him.

59:22 Adam I know. Did your wife get angry at you, John?

59:25 Caller Um, sometimes not. She really doesn't say anything at the time, but, like, if we ever get into an argument, she brings that up.

59:35 Adam Yeah.

59:36 Caller And...

59:37 Drew Listen, you got to stay focused on her health and support that.

59:40 Adam Her health.

59:41 Drew Because there's nothing else you can do. There's nothing else you can do.

59:44 Adam She can translate that into, hey, Lardo, put that doughnut down.

59:48 Drew She knows she's overweight. Be that as it may, there's nothing you can do about it except support her, taking care of herself. That's all he can do.

59:55 Adam Is she depressed?

59:56 Drew Yeah, that's the other thing.

59:59 Caller She's depressed enough to where she's online a lot and chatting with friends. As a matter of fact, she met a friend online and she goes out with her, like, all the time.

1:00:09 Drew Maybe she should get her depression treated.

1:00:10 Adam Where do they go? The Sizzler? No.

1:00:13 Caller No, they go to Lesbian bars.

1:00:15 Adam Okay.

1:00:16 Caller Really?

1:00:17 Adam Uh-oh.

1:00:18 Drew Seriously?

1:00:20 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:00:21 Caller Hold on a second.

1:00:22 Adam We got to talk about John behind his back.

1:00:24 Drew That seems a little too convenient. A little too...

1:00:28 Adam Do you think there's a bogus element?

1:00:30 Drew Yeah, a little sort of out of left field, convenient, something. You could not have left that one out.

1:00:35 Adam I don't know. I believe John. John? Yeah. You're not worried at all that your wife met a young lady on the Internet and now goes to lesbian bars with her?

1:00:49 Caller Yeah, I'm... It's kind of hard for me to believe that she would do anything with another woman, but it's not like I wouldn't put it past her.

1:01:03 Adam Well, that settles it.

1:01:04 Drew Yeah, well, that's clear enough. Thank you.

1:01:07 Adam You make a great witness, John.

1:01:08 Drew Yeah.

1:01:10 Adam John, what are you saying?

1:01:12 Caller Well, it's almost like... Because the friend... Because I've seen her friend once.

1:01:19 Drew How often does she go out with her?

1:01:21 Caller Probably three to four times a week.

1:01:23 Drew And you've only met her once?

1:01:25 Caller Yeah, I've only met her once because Jennifer says she's afraid of me. And she looks like a little gargoyle. I mean, she's really freaky looking. But she's shorter than Jennifer is. And she's just as big. And I'm wondering if her friend...

1:01:41 Adam I don't know now.

1:01:43 Caller I wonder if her friend's like almost consoling her. And saying, oh, that's okay. You look fine, blah, blah, blah. I like my women. I don't know what she's saying. But it's almost as if her friend's talking to her. It's okay the way she looks. And I'm like, well, you know, you're kind of overweight. And you might, you know...

1:02:00 Adam Okay, I'm putting them on hold because this line's bad and he's been on too long. But here's the deal. John's got his work cut out for him in this relationship.

1:02:11 Drew If this is real.

1:02:12 Adam I believe him.

1:02:13 Drew All right.

1:02:14 Adam And...

1:02:15 Drew If this is real, it's a total mess. Total mess. She's spending her time hiding out from him, basically, online, with a lesbian friend, going to a lesbian bar, living an alternate life away from him.

1:02:25 Adam Here's the thing about the big ladies. They like to hang out with the bigger ladies because it's all relative. You understand? Know what I mean, Dr. Drew?

1:02:33 Drew She's 25, she's not 46.

1:02:37 Adam And she hates, I think she's mad at John.

1:02:39 Drew That's the point. If she hates John, that would make this all fit together.

1:02:43 Adam She's hiding out from him. I have no advice for him. Get out. Don't have any kids, please.

1:02:48 Drew Oh my God.

1:02:48 Adam Please. Here's the deal, everybody. And listen, you deserve, you owe it to your partner to stay in shape, I believe.

1:02:56 Drew I agree.

1:02:57 Adam For the relationship.

1:02:58 Drew And for yourself.

1:02:59 Adam Unless you both want to get out of shape together, and then that's a deal. You can strike between you and your partner. But if one partner is working hard to look good, the other one certainly owes them that respect.

1:03:11 Drew Most partners, most couples do that.

1:03:12 Adam And listen, ladies, you don't have to freak out when guys work on this. You really don't.

1:03:19 Drew When they work on themselves, you mean?

1:03:20 Adam No, when they work on you a little with the weight. You really, women go nuts with this stuff. It's like, you're trying to attack them, their corneas with ice picks or something. It's like, listen, honey, you got a big ass. My friends are making fun of you behind my back. Come on. I'm doing, you know, do it for you. Do it for your health.

1:03:41 Drew And it really sounds like you're doing God's work.

1:03:44 Adam I'm just saying, ladies, don't freak when a guy says, look, you need that second bowl ice cream, you're on the diet. What about the diet? Don't spaz. Yeah. Drew, you wouldn't spaz.

1:03:56 Drew No, I wouldn't spaz.

1:03:57 Adam And then start eating more.

1:03:58 Drew No, that's a bizarre impulse. Take it out on yourself when somebody else is trying to help you.

1:04:03 Adam Yeah. What a guy would do is a guy would start working out harder and bang one of your friends. You do the logical thing, not start eating more.

1:04:11 Caller Okay.

1:04:12 Adam Tommy?

1:04:13 Yeah.

1:04:14 Adam You're 34?

1:04:16 Caller I'm what? Yes, I am 34.

1:04:19 Drew What's up, Tommy?

1:04:20 Caller Today, as a matter of fact, because we're in California, October the 3rd, time change, I know all that.

1:04:27 Drew All right, Tommy, what's your question?

1:04:30 Caller Dude, I got hit by a car in 1998. I've been able to get with the woman sexually, date-wise. And my ex-girlfriend wasn't ugly. She was a good-looking girl. I'm not a...

1:04:47 Adam Hold on a second there, Tommy.

1:04:48 Caller Yeah, I will.

1:04:49 Adam Hold on, hold on. Anderson, shut up, shut up for a second, Tommy. Anderson, I will see you in hell if Tommy has some kind of brain damage from being run over by that car.

1:04:59 Caller Oh, dude, if I do, can I go with you?

1:05:02 Adam Well, when you got hit by the car, did it do anything to your noggin?

1:05:07 Caller No, sir.

1:05:08 Adam Okay, put the music back on.

1:05:09 Caller Yeah. Thank you.

1:05:12 Adam So you're just a drunken hillbilly who's got a bad hip?

1:05:16 Caller Do what?

1:05:18 Adam Are you drunk, Tommy?

1:05:20 Caller No, I'm smoking something that dude talks about.

1:05:25 Adam I see.

1:05:26 Drew Weed or heroin?

1:05:27 Caller Hillbillies. Don't breathe hillbillies, number one. But it's been hard to meet a woman on the date.

1:05:36 Drew What's the name of the character in the bill? The old fat Albert?

1:05:40 Caller Anything like that. I can't talk very well. You're making fun of me right now.

1:05:46 Caller Yeah.

1:05:47 Adam Hold on. Why can't you talk very well, Tommy?

1:05:50 Drew We're making fun because we thought it was because you're intoxicated.

1:05:53 Caller No, no. I can walk very well. I can do things very well, but I can't talk very well.

1:06:00 Drew Because of this car accident?

1:06:01 Caller Yes, yes. I got hit by a car.

1:06:04 Drew So you had a head injury?

1:06:05 Caller Yeah. I flew 250 feet.

1:06:08 Drew And what was the nature of your head injury? Do you know?

1:06:11 Caller I had brain surgery.

1:06:13 Drew Okay.

1:06:13 Adam See you in hell, Anderson.

1:06:14 Drew To remove a clot? Please? You had like a depressed skull fracture or something like that?

1:06:20 Caller I was in a coma for four and a half months.

1:06:23 Drew Okay.

1:06:23 Caller All right.

1:06:24 Adam How many months were you in a coma?

1:06:26 Drew Four and a half months.

1:06:27 Caller Four and a half months.

1:06:28 Adam Okay. Drew, you speak fluent brain damage. Because your wife or because patients? How do you speak patients?

1:06:36 Caller I don't know what to do. You know what I mean?

1:06:39 Adam Okay.

1:06:40 Caller I mean, I guess I'm at the bottom line, really.

1:06:44 Drew Well, doing a bunch of drugs is not going to make this better.

1:06:47 Caller Well, I don't do a bunch of drugs. I do what my doctors got me on and smoke a little bit of what y'all talk about.

1:06:57 Drew So they've got you on some Vicodin also?

1:07:01 Caller Vicodin, no.

1:07:03 Adam Hey, hey, Tommy, what's what do you got on in the background?

1:07:06 Drew Police scanner or something?

1:07:08 Caller You are.

1:07:09 Adam Oh, can you turn that down, please?

1:07:11 Caller Oh, speaking to you, yes, I will.

1:07:15 Adam Thank you.

1:07:16 Caller Yes, I will.

1:07:17 Adam We were just talking about...

1:07:18 Caller You're a doctor of my right.

1:07:19 Adam That's right.

1:07:21 Drew Tommy, you don't... you see you're smoking weed and what medications are you taking?

1:07:25 Caller Depthicose and Valium.

1:07:27 Drew Valium, there we go.

1:07:30 Caller Depthicose and Valium and what's this called?

1:07:35 Drew Elamyl, anything else? Anything else?

1:07:38 Caller No.

1:07:38 Drew Nothing else, no pain medicine?

1:07:39 Caller Dude, I'm not a drug addict. I ain't no snorter, shooter. I smoke a little weed, yes.

1:07:47 Adam Are you able to work?

1:07:49 Caller I'm unable to work because I shake and tremble.

1:07:53 Adam Okay, so you want to know where you can meet some ladies?

1:07:57 Caller Well, your dude talks about playing with the Giants, and I got Giants and all of you. I got the grades, I'm amazing. But-

1:08:08 Adam What did he say?

1:08:09 Drew Even I can translate that.

1:08:10 Adam True.

1:08:11 Caller It's hard to, I don't know.

1:08:14 Adam You want to meet some ladies?

1:08:16 Caller I don't care if I meet them, I would like to get to know them.

1:08:21 Adam I understand.

1:08:22 Caller Because I'm 35 and I ain't got a kid. My kid died of SIDS and I'm a junior. My dad was a Marine and I'm a junior and I want it to go on.

1:08:37 Adam Your kid died of SIDS?

1:08:39 Drew Yes. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

1:08:41 Caller I mean, I went to hell.

1:08:43 Drew Yeah, it sounds like you have it, Donnie.

1:08:45 Adam Drew, I know this may be inappropriate, but do you think there's ever a kid named SID who died of SIDS?

1:08:51 Drew I think so.

1:08:51 Adam And then there was some confusion when they were explaining it to like relatives. What happened?

1:08:56 Caller SIDS.

1:08:58 Adam Yes, but what happened? It's tragic.

1:09:01 Drew It's a new one. Who's on first?

1:09:02 Adam All of you who by the way are feeling sorry for themselves right now, or just in general, close your eyes and climb inside of Tommy's world for just one minute. Got the dead infant, got the brain damage, 15 types of medication. Tommy? Yeah. Well, look, you got your sense of humor. Okay, you're going to have to, I don't know where you meet women. I know Larry Flint is in worse shape than you are, and he gets laid all the time.

1:09:34 Drew That's right.

1:09:35 Caller Larry Flint's now speed.

1:09:37 Drew He's a what?

1:09:38 Caller He's now speed.

1:09:40 Adam What's that saying for Drew?

1:09:41 Caller Sorry to ask, man. Truthfully.

1:09:43 Adam I see.

1:09:44 Drew Sorry, Ace.

1:09:45 Caller Okay.

1:09:45 Adam But here's the deal, Tommy. Okay. Women are much better than men are in this department.

1:09:52 Drew Yes.

1:09:53 Adam Meaning, if there was a woman who was in your condition, a lot of guys would not have anything to do with her.

1:10:01 Drew Except to swoop in and take advantage of her.

1:10:03 Adam Right. Maybe when she was hopped up on her medication, she'd give her a quick rape and go home. This is how guys work. But women will take a guy who has some difficulties.

1:10:15 Drew And want to take care of him.

1:10:16 Adam And take care of him. And that's the good news. So you need to get out there and find yourself one of these women.

1:10:22 Drew It's just fine. Maybe some activity, some community service, something where you're going to meet people. Get out of here. Get a job. Some something. You know, a denominal job that you can just barely function at. Do it. Meet people.

1:10:32 Adam All right. We got to take a break. I got to say bye to Anderson, who's on a Greyhound to Hell because he played that banjo music with Poor Brain Dick. We'll see you in Hell, all right?

1:10:42 Drew All right.

1:10:43 Adam We'll be back after this.

1:10:46 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:10:49 Adam Yes, he does. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Adima in here tomorrow night. We'll talk to those guys. And now we'll get back with Aaron. Aaron started to tell us, she's 27, started to tell us about having oral sex with her boyfriend.

1:11:06 Drew Did we even get that far with her?

1:11:07 Adam That's what she said, yes. But her radio was up, so we punished her a little bit. Aaron?

1:11:12 Caller Hello?

1:11:13 Adam Hello?

1:11:15 Drew Go right ahead.

1:11:15 Caller Oh, okay. I was just wondering what could cause that when, you know, I can do the act if I just can't finish it.

1:11:22 Drew Maybe just because, maybe because it's gross.

1:11:26 Caller Yeah.

1:11:26 Drew And when you finally realize that, it sort of conditioned you to thinking of it that way. And now you can sort of get nauseated whenever you think about it.

1:11:33 Adam Well, what do you mean finished? You mean swallow it?

1:11:35 Caller Yes. Yes. I can't do that anymore.

1:11:38 Drew Because it makes you sort of nauseated. Well, it's kind of gross. So if you start thinking about it being gross, you're kind of sick.

1:11:44 Adam Listen, I don't like oysters. Do you know what I mean? I mean, I find them difficult to keep down.

1:11:52 Caller But why would, you know, you can do it, and then just one day, it just makes you sick.

1:11:57 Adam I don't know. But life is that way.

1:12:00 Drew Well, actually nausea is especially that way. And maybe you were nauseated from something else that day and this sort of really...

1:12:06 Caller It's been going on for two years.

1:12:07 Drew I know. But once nausea gets associated with like a food, you can never look at that food again. That's why nausea is a very profound conditioner. And maybe you were sick from something else and this made it worse and then pow, that's the end of that.

1:12:21 Adam That's how it was with me and Caroline in the City. I saw the first episode, I got nauseated and I could never watch it again.

1:12:27 Drew But now Adam has sort of technical ways to get around this.

1:12:31 Adam Can't you just receive his seed into your mouth and then spit it out somewhere?

1:12:37 Caller No, because it's like as soon as I taste it, it's just my stomach starts turning.

1:12:43 Adam So if it just went into your mouth, you're scared you would vomit?

1:12:48 Caller Well, we tried that and I start gagging.

1:12:52 Adam Right. So now it just cannot make contact with the inside of your mouth. All right.

1:12:59 Caller Well, nothing's wrong with me or?

1:13:02 Drew Nothing's wrong with you.

1:13:03 Caller Okay. You're fine.

1:13:05 Adam You're fine. It nauseates you.

1:13:07 Drew It's kind of a gross thing and you can't tolerate it.

1:13:09 Adam It nauseates me too. Yeah.

1:13:11 Drew But God bless you for trying.

1:13:12 Adam It is nice. And you know, why don't you give it a couple months off and try it again?

1:13:20 Caller Yeah, because I stopped for a while and it's like, we've been trying to get in, it's just, it's not working.

1:13:24 Drew See, this Sacramento, I was up in Sacramento last week. This is the kind of women I kept encountering up there.

1:13:29 Adam Women who couldn't swallow?

1:13:30 Drew No, who were sort of-

1:13:31 Caller Hey, I just recently moved here. I'm not from here.

1:13:33 Drew But who were like super assertive and like, you know, very interesting.

1:13:40 Adam Erin, I'd say give it a little time off. You just finish them off with your hand.

1:13:45 Drew She's like bewildered. What do you mean I can't do it?

1:13:47 Adam What do you mean? That's life. You know, I used to be able to run a 484940, and now it's up to 15-20 minutes. You understand? I can't do it anymore. I used to be able to do it. Okay. There's other things we used to be able to do that we can't do anymore. This is one of those things.

1:14:08 Drew I should appreciate her concern with nice.

1:14:11 Adam There's two things I find endearing about Erin. One is that she can't do the math on the big load of semen in her mouth and the grotesque nature of that.

1:14:19 Drew Yeah.

1:14:20 Adam And number two, cannot accept the fact that it nauseated her at one point and now it nauseates her continuously.

1:14:27 Drew Right. That's a foreign concept to her.

1:14:29 Adam It's like I did it when I was in high school. I can't do it now and I can't accept it. This is a very easy math to work out, Aaron. But God bless you for trying and keep pecking away, pardon the pun, and give it a try once a month. See if it works for you. Janelle?

1:14:48 Hello.

1:14:49 Adam You're 20?

1:14:50 Caller Yeah.

1:14:50 Caller What's up?

1:14:51 Caller I've been with my boyfriend for about three years. And he was with a 16-year-old female.

1:14:59 Drew How old is he?

1:15:00 Caller He's 21.

1:15:01 Drew When was he with this 16-year-old?

1:15:03 Caller About nine, ten months ago. He recently just got out of jail, and he did time for it. Wow. Yeah.

1:15:11 Adam Good for society.

1:15:13 Caller He cheated on me with her, and he's cheated before, but I recently... He told me before that he didn't have feelings for her, it was just for sex. Now I find out that he had feelings for her. I find out now that she was pregnant, and...

1:15:32 Drew What's your question? We get the picture on this jack-off.

1:15:35 Caller If what? I mean, should I stay with him?

1:15:39 Drew Oh, of course. Yeah. I mean, who would leave something like this?

1:15:42 Adam Who could leave that? Of course.

1:15:44 Caller I feel like if I leave him, then I'm giving up on a situation that I've been working so hard on.

1:15:49 Drew Yeah, you've wasted three years, why not just waste a few more?

1:15:53 Adam Right. You're trying to sculpt a piece of ass into the Maltese Falcon. Yeah, the youngest of Milo. Why give up on that dream?

1:16:03 Caller I mean, we're supposed to get married.

1:16:05 Drew Yeah, good. Dedicate your whole life to this jackal.

1:16:08 Adam Yeah, have kids. He's a wonderful, wonderful dynamite individual that I'd like to get to know better.

1:16:18 Drew Your dad couldn't be changed and neither can he. Okay.

1:16:22 Adam All right.

1:16:23 Drew Because you're trying to fix your dad. That is the only thing that could fixate someone on somebody like this.

1:16:27 Adam How did he end up doing time? Did her parents get involved there? How much time did he do?

1:16:34 Caller Eight months.

1:16:35 Adam And you stuck by him, though, right?

1:16:37 Caller I didn't want to in the beginning, but then I was just like, well, I love him so much. I can't walk away.

1:16:42 Adam No, you can't. He's such a wonderful guy. Okay, listen, Janelle, you got to take a good look in the mirror and figure out. Well, actually, don't look in the mirror. Turn your head sideways. Use the second mirror so you can see your brain through your ear and try to figure out what's going on with that brain of yours. This has nothing to do with this guy. This is everything to do with your dad and your past. And what's up with that? No.

1:17:07 Caller Okay.

1:17:09 Adam Please look at that.

1:17:10 Drew What happened to your dad?

1:17:12 Caller He is an alcoholic. He's kind of abusive, not verbally.

1:17:19 Drew Yeah, we get it. We get it. I mean, he's an abusive alcoholic.

1:17:23 Adam Your dad's an a-hole.

1:17:24 Drew Now you gotta find another a-hole and fix him.

1:17:26 Adam Don't do it. And look, don't have kids with this idiot. Did she have the kid?

1:17:33 Caller No, she had an abortion.

1:17:35 Adam Okay, good. Don't, do you have a kid with this idiot?

1:17:38 Caller No.

1:17:39 Adam Do not let him get you pregnant. Do you hear me?

1:17:42 Caller Okay.

1:17:43 Adam What are you using for birth control?

1:17:45 Caller Nothing right at the moment, but I'm getting, I'm gonna be put on the pill.

1:17:48 Drew All right, or get the depot shot.

1:17:50 Adam Listen, genius.

1:17:50 Drew I didn't trust you to take the pill.

1:17:52 Adam You get on something. And no sex until you get on something. You hear me?

1:17:56 Drew Well, no sex with this guy anyway. And no other abusive a-holes. You can do better.

1:18:01 Adam She's gonna get married.

1:18:03 Drew She's gonna marry this guy.

1:18:04 Adam No, really. I mean, look at this guy. You wanna admit that you're gonna marry this guy?

1:18:09 Drew I love him. A rapist? Let's add it all up. In the con column, he's an ex-con, rapist, child abuser, who is awful to you. Is he an alcoholic or addict also? I imagine, yeah.

1:18:22 Caller Not really.

1:18:23 Drew Does he smoke pot every day?

1:18:24 Caller Not no more.

1:18:25 Drew Oh, not no more. Okay.

1:18:27 Adam Well, he couldn't get any prison. That's what that means. What does he do for a living? Works around metal?

1:18:33 Caller He's not doing anything right now.

1:18:35 Adam Better.

1:18:35 Caller Trying to do something.

1:18:36 Adam Right.

1:18:37 Drew Unemployed. Anything else we can put on the list here?

1:18:43 Caller He's been physically abusive.

1:18:45 Drew Physically abusive. Good. Good. Yeah.

1:18:48 Adam Couldn't you, Janelle, couldn't you head down to some homeless shelter, some bus stop and pick up some bum who was sleeping on a bench?

1:18:55 Drew And get more out of him?

1:18:56 Adam Get a real man?

1:18:57 Drew Yeah.

1:18:58 Adam Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, you love him. You don't love him.

1:19:02 Drew There's a book called But I Love Him out there. I suggest you read. It shows you that I love him. It has nothing to do with love. Another book would be called Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters. It helps you understand why you go from fixing dad to fixing this guy and how, again, it has nothing to do with love.

1:19:19 Adam But I Love Him?

1:19:20 Drew Yeah.

1:19:20 Adam I got a book I like to recommend called I Love But Love.

1:19:27 Drew But I Love Butts?

1:19:28 Adam But I Love Butts. It's almost the same as But I Love Him, but there's a slight twist that makes it into a totally different read. Totally different read.

1:19:38 Drew Well.

1:19:39 Adam Thank you. Don.

1:19:40 Drew How is it different?

1:19:41 Adam I love Butts. Don, you're 25. Look, if anybody wants a little insight into the human psyche and sometimes the female human psyche, you just listen to Janelle over there. There was. The guy's carrying on with his 16 year old. He knocked her up. He did some prison time. He does a few drugs. He's unemployed. He's a little bit physically abusive. But I love the guy. I got to get married to him.

1:20:08 Drew And I've wasted three years. I wouldn't wait. I'm dedicated.

1:20:11 Adam I'm no quitter. I'm no quitter. Don.

1:20:13 Caller Yeah.

1:20:14 Adam Go ahead, buddy.

1:20:15 Caller My girlfriend's on the pill. And she finished her pill, her cycle of the pill on Monday. Then she said she started her period on Thursday. And then a week later, she told me that she was, she thought she was pregnant because she was feeling sick and that her period only lasted about five hours. Could she be pregnant?

1:20:40 Drew Are you on a treadmill or something right now, Don?

1:20:42 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:20:44 Adam Maybe you just sound a little out of breath.

1:20:46 Drew Yeah.

1:20:46 Adam Maybe a little nervous, right?

1:20:47 Drew Yeah.

1:20:48 Adam Okay. So what about it, Drew?

1:20:51 Drew Get a pregnancy test.

1:20:52 Adam How about it, Don? Pregnancy test.

1:20:55 Caller Yeah. Okay. But is it still possible that she could be pregnant?

1:20:59 Drew It's always possible.

1:21:00 Caller What can that rule it out like? Can she be bed for like five hours?

1:21:05 Drew Can the bleeding rule it out? No, it can't. No. No. All right. It's still possible.

1:21:10 Caller So it's still possible.

1:21:11 Drew Yeah.

1:21:12 Adam All right, buddy.

1:21:12 Caller Okay. Thanks, Drew.

1:21:13 Drew Good luck.

1:21:14 Adam Take care of yourself. I think he was just a little nervous. Sometimes when you get nervous, your breathing gets a little weird.

1:21:19 Drew Did he not have like a hint of an Australian accent that kept coming and going?

1:21:23 My questions are going to my pick.

1:21:26 Adam That's like the crocodile hunter. Hey, Don?

1:21:29 Drew Gorgeous.

1:21:30 Adam Oh, he hung up.

1:21:31 All right.

1:21:31 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, let's see. We got Jenetta Warts, hates people at her own age, explain to kids that they can't see their crazy mom. But that's Lisa. That must be their grandmother, right?

1:21:48 Drew I think so.

1:21:48 Adam All right. We'll talk to her about their crazy grandma after this.

1:21:59 Caller Hey, y'all, it's Loveline.

1:22:01 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Adem is coming in here tomorrow night. Uh-oh.

1:22:12 Drew No, no, too late. Ace did not enter the room.

1:22:18 Adam Ace Rockolla's got to start at the top. You should have reminded me, Anderson. We'll do some lightning rounds next week. All right. So where are we here, Drew?

1:22:28 Drew Lisa. No, no, come on. You don't really want to encourage that, do you?

1:22:33 Adam There is, you know, we do have to get the traffic and the weather and the surf report.

1:22:37 Drew We need all that. It's true.

1:22:38 Adam Right. Yeah. Slow and go, slow and go on the 405. But look out for brake lights in the 110. Look out for brake lights. If you didn't hear the radio warning about the brake lights, what do you figure you'd do? Just plow into the guy who stopped in front of you? Just instead of hitting your own brake, you just clamp down on the accelerator and just drive right up his ass. Sure. Right, right. I always like it. I always like to. There seems to be a very high in the traffic reports that we go and watch out for slowing in the third lane. Motorcycle got tangled up the big rig. I always say to myself, oh my god.

1:23:25 Caller Really?

1:23:26 Adam I mean, you hear about that. It's like a guy in a moped got tangled up the combine. It sounds like I'm picturing, oh, what carnage.

1:23:34 Drew The other one is, yeah, they've got the wreck over to the right, a vehicle over the side.

1:23:40 Adam Vehicle over the side. Man down. Lisa?

1:23:44 Caller Yes.

1:23:44 Adam You're 28?

1:23:45 Caller Yes, I am.

1:23:46 Adam All right. So you got kids?

1:23:48 Caller I do, a seven-year-old and a four-year-old.

1:23:52 Drew And?

1:23:52 Caller And just a couple months ago, I had a falling out, I guess, with my mom. And she's not seeing the kids as much as she used to. She used to see them like three times a week. And now she sees them maybe once a month.

1:24:05 Drew Your mom?

1:24:06 Caller Yeah, my mom.

1:24:07 Drew What's up with your mom?

1:24:08 Caller She's nuts.

1:24:09 Drew What does that mean?

1:24:09 Caller She is a so-called recovering addict. She's an alcoholic. She's manipulative, controlling.

1:24:16 Drew Why isn't she, why isn't her recovery going a little better than that?

1:24:18 Caller Because she goes on speed binges and drinks every single night.

1:24:22 Drew Okay. Well, that's not anywhere near recovery.

1:24:24 Caller Yeah, that's why I said so-called, because that's her.

1:24:27 Drew Not even so-called, right.

1:24:29 Adam And you're probably pretty angry with her over the way she was with you growing up.

1:24:34 Caller Yeah, yeah, because she was just unavailable.

1:24:38 Adam Good. Screw her.

1:24:39 Caller Yeah. Well, that I finally have been able to just say, you know what? Fine. If this is how you're going to live your life, then I can't be around you.

1:24:46 Drew And in fact, in the fact it's important for your kids.

1:24:49 Caller Yeah, then that's more.

1:24:50 Drew That she not be around.

1:24:51 Caller That's what the falling out was about.

1:24:53 Drew And it may be important for her. That may be the only thing that really gets her attention and gets her to do something more substantial with her disease.

1:25:00 Caller And that's what the whole falling out was about. Was that I found out that she was screaming at my kids while she was watching them overnight.

1:25:07 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

1:25:08 Caller And she just did that to us our whole childhood. And I can't bear to have that happen to them. So I told her I waited. After I heard about it, I waited and cooled off a couple of days. So I didn't just go off on her. And I tried to approach it really calmly and explain to her, you know, I know it's hard to get them out of bed sometimes, but I just think there's different ways we can do it besides yelling at them. And if you can't not yell at them or you feel that you just can't handle that, then maybe they shouldn't come over as much. And she flew off the handle and went crazy. So.

1:25:38 Drew Well, that's it. That's it. Listen, hey, she's doing drugs. That's it.

1:25:41 Caller I don't know how to explain that to my kids because.

1:25:43 Drew You don't have to.

1:25:44 Adam No, they don't care.

1:25:44 Caller What do I say?

1:25:45 Caller Why don't we get to see grandma anymore?

1:25:46 Adam They don't ask. Have they asked that? They don't want to see that old bitch.

1:25:50 Caller No, they ask.

1:25:51 Adam Why? Really? That old bitch who yells at them? They miss her?

1:25:56 Caller I missed my dad and mom when I was little. They weren't good to us. I still missed them.

1:26:01 Adam Yeah, but you were screwed over by them and that was your biological parents and this is one removed. Listen, here's what you do. BS your kids a little bit.

1:26:12 Caller I just don't want them to feel bad because they love their grandma. You know, like I don't want to.

1:26:17 Drew I would be honest, I just don't like the way she treated you. That's it.

1:26:21 Adam Yeah, I, you know, as a kid, and I don't know if you got this growing up, I know your dad's ultra super ultra cheap, but and they played their own head trips on on you. But my mom was this hippie and her whole thing. And this was a bad times growing up in the 70s. You know, the old deal was kids were small adults and you're supposed to be truthful with them and lay everything out for them. And I really didn't appreciate it. Right. I got an ass full of, you know, this guy hurt mommy sexually.

1:26:57 Drew Oh no.

1:26:57 Adam No, I didn't get that. But I mean, I did have my mom told me about some neighbor who was like older, like, you know, if he touches you down there, you should, the guy was like a friend of mine, you know. It was a little weird. But there was a lot of sharing open feelings and open dialogue and open discussions with 7 year olds.

1:27:17 Drew Yeah, it was parentalizing the kids or adultifying them.

1:27:20 Adam Kids can't handle that kind of weight, that kind of stress. They don't need to know that mommy doesn't like grandma and that grandma is doing drugs and this kind of thing. Just float a little BS. Don't worry, they'll find out eventually.

1:27:36 Drew Yeah, don't lie. They'll resent the lies. They will.

1:27:40 Adam No, they won't.

1:27:41 Drew Yes, they will.

1:27:42 Adam I'm telling you, it'll be better than the truth. They'll resent the truth more. They're going to resent you one way or the other. Just float them a little BS. Grandma's away for a little while. We'll see her next week and then next week rolls around. Grandma's away. We'll see her and the kids will run out of momentum and they'll get involved with their own crap and they'll forget about it. Sherry?

1:28:04 Yes.

1:28:04 Adam You're 45?

1:28:06 Caller Yes.

1:28:06 Adam What's up?

1:28:07 I was listening to you the other night and a girl had called in and wanted to know if she had oral sex with her boyfriend and swallowed if it would hurt her. And it was Drew, I think, that said that it was 2000 calories.

1:28:22 Drew It was a joke, Sherry.

1:28:23 Oh, I was going, jeez, if you have a vasectomy.

1:28:27 Drew The idea was to discourage her from doing that.

1:28:30 Pardon me?

1:28:31 Drew That what I said was I'm gonna tell my daughter that as a way of discouraging her from doing that.

1:28:35 Oh, uh-huh. Why? Is it harmful? No, I mean, he didn't, he didn't, no father likes the thought of his daughter and just, you know, just as an adult, I was wondering, I thought, wow, if they had a vasectomy, was that half the calories or what?

1:28:52 Drew No, it already has, it has zero calories, zero calories, zero protein, zero nutritional value.

1:28:59 Adam But yet, all the bad taste of, But all the nauseating flavor that, It is if you'd taken a horse carcass that had been rotting out in the sun and condensed it into a teaspoon. That's really the way I would look at semen. And what the hell? Yeah, you get the vasectomy, it's like substituting sugar for NutraSweet. It's the same body, it's just missing the calories.

1:29:22 Drew No.

1:29:23 Adam No?

1:29:23 Drew No calories anyway.

1:29:24 Adam I see, okay. Tony?

1:29:27 Caller Yeah.

1:29:27 Adam But that was her angle, what if you get the, what if the guy gets the vasectomy?

1:29:30 Drew Yeah, she's hell bent on continuing to take the semen in, but oh boy, that's calorie count.

1:29:34 Adam Tony?

1:29:35 Caller Yeah.

1:29:36 Adam Yeah, 21, go ahead, buddy.

1:29:37 Yeah, well, I see I got this problem with my girlfriend and that is she's like not comfortable touching me down there. You know, she doesn't want, and I don't have to do about it, because like I, you know, try to make her feel comfortable and I try to like, you know, help her out in that area, but it just doesn't happen, like the reciprocation doesn't happen.

1:29:54 Caller There could be some funky smell coming from your job.

1:29:56 Caller I'm not kidding you.

1:29:57 Drew You're 21?

1:29:58 Caller Yeah.

1:29:59 Drew And how old is she?

1:30:00 Caller She's 20.

1:30:02 Caller Hmm.

1:30:03 Drew And what do you mean you mentioned reciprocating? What does it you do to her?

1:30:08 Just about everything that I can think of.

1:30:10 Adam How long have you been with her?

1:30:11 Drew Seven months. You have sex with her?

1:30:14 Caller No.

1:30:14 Drew No.

1:30:15 Caller No.

1:30:15 Drew So what is just about everything?

1:30:17 Well, you know, oral sex, touching her down there.

1:30:21 Drew She's okay with that?

1:30:22 Yeah, she's okay with that.

1:30:23 Adam Does she have an orgasm?

1:30:26 She says it feels really, really good, but I don't think she's had an orgasm.

1:30:29 Adam Okay. Tony's like, she didn't have an orgasm, but I'm still a great lover. So here's how I'm going to spin this. Well, I try.

1:30:36 Caller I really try.

1:30:37 Drew Is she a virgin?

1:30:39 Caller Yes, she is a virgin.

1:30:40 Adam How old is she? Does she have any issues?

1:30:44 Caller I've been asking her, you know, like, you know, she has had any. She says no. She just doesn't. She's scared is what she said.

1:30:50 Adam Is she a religious person?

1:30:52 Caller No, not really.

1:30:53 Adam All right. Why don't you do as my buddy, the wheeze would say, juice her up and go. Get a few of those wine coolers in her and see if that loosens her underpants up a little bit. Just hop in there. I mean, look, if she doesn't have any big issues, she's not particularly religious, then have her drink a couple of wine coolers, relax, chill out a little and see what you can get going.

1:31:16 Drew Bartles and James solution? Right.

1:31:18 Adam We're going to take a break.

1:31:19 Caller We'll be back.

1:31:20 Adam Okay.

1:31:27 Caller There we go. Yeah, there you go.

1:31:29 Adam They usually points at me a little bit later in this riff. All right, there you go. Another fabulous episode of Loveline, finished and done. Adima in here tomorrow night. We'll look forward to talking to those guys, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. You can't have...

1:31:48 Drew You can at 11. You certainly can at 12.

1:31:51 Adam What? How old are you at 10? Are you in the third grade?

1:31:55 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is hand-welcome, Sting Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, October 3, 2001