Episode 1000754886863

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline.

1:13 Adam Hey, everybody!

1:15 Hey!

1:17 It's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla.

1:19 Adam That is Dr. Drew over there. Your phone number is 1-800-LLV-E-191, Dr. Drew, board certified clinician. That's good. I like that. I like to mix it up for everyone. An addiction medicine specialist. Amber Benson is our guest tonight. Amber placed Tara Willow's girlfriend.

1:39 Drew Tara, don't call me Tara.

1:40 Adam Yes.

1:41 Amber Benson Yeah, Tara, don't call me Tara.

1:42 Adam Is it Tara? Tara.

1:43 Amber Benson What do you think? No, it's Tara.

1:45 Tara.

1:45 Amber Benson The holy Tara.

1:46 Tara.

1:48 You can call me anything you want.

1:50 Drew How about that?

1:50 Adam Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it's fifth season now. Six.

1:55 Six season.

1:56 Drew Wow.

1:57 Adam Six seasons.

1:58 Amber Benson I haven't been there that long now.

2:00 Adam And it was, it was, you know, it was, you know, spin off of a movie too, which never. Well, I guess MASH did that, but not too many movies do, not too many.

2:11 Amber Benson Does Smallville count? Not really.

2:13 Adam Well, the point is that they don't hang around for six seasons.

2:16 Drew Things that keep going.

2:17 Amber Benson Keep going, going, going, yeah.

2:18 Drew That don't translate well to television, let's put it that way.

2:20 Adam Yeah, yeah. Tuesday, 8 o'clock, UPN. And when's the big premiere?

2:26 Amber Benson The big premiere?

2:27 Adam I don't know. I just, I felt I should say that.

2:31 Amber Benson The big premiere, that's Tuesday at 8.

2:33 Adam This Tuesday, right?

2:34 Amber Benson Yeah, but it's the premiere for the like fifth episode.

2:37 Adam Yeah, big, big fifth episode premiere. What happens this week?

2:41 Amber Benson It's November.

2:41 Adam Can we talk about it? I don't know. Do you give anything away for this week?

2:46 Amber Benson To tell you the God's honest truth?

2:47 Adam You don't know?

2:47 Amber Benson They've been like, we've been doing like episodes, like pieces.

2:51 Drew Let's put it this way. What's happening on the man show tonight?

2:55 Adam Let's see. Oh, man show's on tonight.

2:57 Amber Benson There's some naked women and-

2:58 Adam Naked chicks on trampolines. Oh, Jimmy, I think Jimmy pays women to kiss each other. Yeah, that's good.

3:05 Amber Benson They pay me well to do that, actually.

3:07 Adam High concept. Yeah, to kiss on the ladies?

3:10 Amber Benson Oh, yeah, I've been getting the smooches on television.

3:14 Adam People are crazy about this show, and I would be too, but I can't- That sort of-

3:22 Drew You can't find an enthusiast for anything.

3:23 Adam Supernatural teen thing is something like I can't get myself into.

3:28 Drew So, things like Martians and aliens.

3:31 Adam Well, like the Roswells, these shows, and even the X-Files, shows that I know are good shows, and I'm going to include Buffy the Vampire Slayer in this.

3:40 Amber Benson He's never seen it, but he knows.

3:42 Adam They're good shows. Well, I hear they're good shows, and they keep going on, and the ratings are great, and all that kind of stuff, but- No, it's good, it's good.

3:47 Amber Benson It's a really good show, actually.

3:50 Adam I can't get into the supernatural stuff. What is that, Drew? Can you get into that?

3:55 No.

3:56 Adam Is it our personality that doesn't work right for that?

3:59 Drew Yeah, probably.

4:00 Amber Benson A little too analytical, maybe.

4:02 Drew The suspending the disbelief part, just for the story and the drama, is just like, if it doesn't make sense, we're like, hey, wait, that doesn't happen. Turn the channel.

4:09 Amber Benson You should go to England. It's like-

4:11 Drew But they're really into it. Huge.

4:12 Amber Benson I can't walk down the street, people are like, oh my God, it's Tara from Buffy.

4:15 Drew Oh my God.

4:16 Adam Really?

4:16 Oh my God.

4:17 Adam That's nice. You ought to move there, get a little respect.

4:21 Amber Benson No, I did very well with the men. I should get the ladies because I am a lesbian, but on the show-

4:26 Drew Do you have that? The lesbians flock to you because of that?

4:30 Amber Benson I get wonderful letters from young women that have come out to their families because of what we're doing on Buffy, which is amazing. That's really the reason that I'm really proud to be on the show because we're doing something that's totally different. This is like the first long-term lesbian relationship on network television. To get those letters and to say, you changed my life really makes you not want to do anything bad ever again because you don't want anyone to know that you're like a human being. You want to be like perfect forever so that people feel comfortable and don't feel like they have to live up to something.

5:02 Adam What's up?

5:03 Amber Benson Does that make sense?

5:04 Adam Yeah. I stopped listening because I started reading this bio here.

5:07 Amber Benson I lost it there for a second.

5:09 Adam But you know, my whole thing, my thing is there's two of us. So I can be like, hey, Drew, take over with the listening while I move on to reading the bio here. It's like when you take a long drive. You drive for a while and go to bed. That's why you bring two people. Big screen. Let's talk about that. What do you got coming up?

5:27 Amber Benson I just did a film in Romania, actually.

5:29 Adam Well, me too. No, actually I didn't. I didn't know where Romania is.

5:35 Amber Benson I think because in the end it was cheaper to shoot there. It didn't really take place in Romania. But I played a straight girl and I got to wear a dog collar and get killed. Who killed you? I can't say.

5:49 Adam Well, what was that? What film was it?

5:51 Amber Benson It's called Taboo.

5:53 Adam Oh, Adam. Oh, boy. Finally, something we can talk about. Taboo is my favorite porn series. Taboo 2 being my favorite, actually.

6:02 Amber Benson Is it really important to you?

6:04 Adam This is a theme to Taboo 2.

6:05 Drew Well, not the theme, it's sort of the feature song, right?

6:15 Adam Do you have this music? Is it scored yet, the film?

6:19 Amber Benson I think I should be giving them the music for this. This would work well in the movie.

6:23 Drew Well, not to be, the lyrics, the lyrics really would ring true.

6:27 Oh, yes, he does.

6:28 Adam You don't hear, oh, yes, he does in songs enough anymore.

6:31 Amber Benson Is that really from like a porno show?

6:33 Adam No, it's from a Broadway musical.

6:35 Amber Benson Oh, I'm not even listening to it.

6:35 No, of course, listen.

6:37 Maybe you did, but you don't.

6:41 Adam I mean, I sass that one up a little.

6:43 There's no reference to anything sexual.

6:44 Adam Well, listen, here it is. Oh, no, you're right. There's a lot of metaphor in this song.

6:49 Amber Benson It's all metaphor.

6:49 Adam Well, Junior was a complicated man, you know, banging his mom and his sister. He satisfies me, you know, speaking of pornography.

6:59 Amber Benson I actually like did a photo shoot for Stuff magazine a little while ago. And we went to this like porno castle. And I'm like, I'm like the irony of it.

7:07 Adam What do you mean porno castle?

7:10 Amber Benson It was this castle up in the Hollywood Hills where they shoot a lot of pornography.

7:14 Adam Oh, Count Jackula lives there. Count Jackula's castle.

7:18 Amber Benson Well, I have a friend who grips.

7:20 Adam Hold on, Drew's laughing at something I said. Hold on.

7:23 Drew Is that a series or something that is actually out there?

7:26 Adam Count Jackula?

7:26 Amber Benson I guess Adam would know.

7:27 Adam No, there isn't, but there should be.

7:30 Amber Benson No, but a friend of mine, he went up there and gripped on a shoot there. He's like, oh yeah, there was all kinds of porno stuff happening. I'm like, well, what about the stairs? And he's like, oh, we had a train there. I was like, no, I sat on those stairs.

7:41 Adam Was this up in the valley kind of?

7:44 Amber Benson No, it's like more near Franklin-y, Beachwood-y sort of.

7:48 Drew Oh, Adam, maybe.

7:49 Amber Benson That's my dig.

7:50 Adam Oh, I mean, is it a cheesy like 70s castle? Like it looks like a Medieval Times, it's a bad theme restaurant. Yeah, we had the Man Show Rap Party there last year. What? Yeah. Good times.

8:03 Oh my God.

8:04 Adam Yeah, it's up in the hills there. That's right by my house. It's a classy joint.

8:10 Amber Benson Oh yeah.

8:11 Adam It's great.

8:11 Amber Benson They were very nice there.

8:13 Adam It was great back in this place. It was obviously built about 1974, and you couldn't do anything without declaring a theme in advance in 1974.

8:24 Drew When you built the house, it had a brown, rust, orange, shingled or theme.

8:28 Adam Yeah, you go with a theme like we're building a house. Well, we'll go with the medieval theme. But it was like a castle with burnt orange shag carpet. I said it. I said it.

8:41 Amber Benson God knows what's in there. But the ultimate irony is this nice virginal girl like a men's magazine photo shoot in the porno castle. I'm like, that's great.

8:51 Adam Yeah.

8:52 Amber Benson That's lovely.

8:53 Adam Did you go up to the bedroom at the top?

8:55 Amber Benson Yeah, I laid on the bed. They're like shooting these pictures and I'm on the bed and the photographer wouldn't touch the bed. He got one of those gels that he put on the lights and he put it down and put his arm on that so he could chew.

9:05 Oh, what a puss.

9:06 Amber Benson And I'm laying on it.

9:07 Adam I'm just like, oh, did you see the moat? Yeah, it's a real steep driveway.

9:14 Yes.

9:15 Adam It's right above Beachwood there, right?

9:16 Uh-huh.

9:17 Adam Oh my God. I've been to that castle many times.

9:20 Drew Good times.

9:23 Adam You should have stopped by right down the street.

9:26 Amber Benson I would have invited you. They had free lunch and everything.

9:29 Drew He'd been there.

9:31 Adam Yeah, it was pretty. Yeah, Drew, didn't we invite you? Yeah, it was a man show. We had a man show ramp party there two years ago.

9:38 Drew I remember being invited by a man party.

9:39 Adam All right. The cops shut it down.

9:40 Amber Benson Ten minutes and I've already sunk to this lowness.

9:44 Adam I like that castle. It's got one of the only castles with the burnt orange, shag carpet. Andrea? Yes. It's really, everything in the 70s was just bad.

9:55 It's awful.

9:56 Adam It'll cancel. Andrea? What's up?

9:59 Well, actually, I guess this is a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah. I've been on Zoloft for about a year and a half now. And I'm wanting to get off of it. And my doctor told me to half my dosage for about four weeks, and then I would be able to get off of it. And the reason why I'm wanting to be off of it is because I'm having some side effects that I'm not really liking. One being that I'm not interested in being with my fiance. And we're getting married in December. And being that intimacy is kind of an integral part of a honeymoon. I'm wondering how long...

10:34 Drew Listen, you don't have to apologize for that. No justification. One of the problems with antidepressant therapy these days is that people don't expect, A, they don't realize they should expect complete resolution of their symptoms, A, and B, that they shouldn't have intolerable side effects. There are enough different medicines to choose from and ways to apply these things, that things like impairment of your intimacy can really profoundly affect your life and affect your mood in other ways. So it's something you shouldn't be apologizing about. In fact, you should have been going back and saying, Hey, this Olaf stuff isn't working. This isn't good. I don't like this stuff.

11:08 No, no, no. It's thoroughly great. I believe they should put it in the water.

11:11 Drew No, I understand it made you feel better. Were we having panic attacks or something?

11:14 No, no, no, no. Actually, I started it because at the time, actually, my fiance and I were going through some rough times and we did break up for a while, and I was studying law school and-

11:23 Drew So you were depressed?

11:24 Well, yeah, I was depressed and my doctor recommended it for me to heal.

11:27 Drew But you're not seeing a psychiatrist? What do you goddamn mean?

11:30 Adam I got mad at her with her, no, no, no, no, no.

11:32 Drew I know.

11:33 Adam When's the last time he strung together like nine nos, when it didn't have to do with somebody who fell asleep while they were driving? You know what I mean? No, no, no, no, no, no. What is that? Just no, that's fine.

11:44 Drew No, no, no.

11:45 Amber Benson Oh, you cut her off.

11:46 Adam No, I just put her on hold for a second.

11:48 Drew They haven't heard her question yet.

11:49 Adam Oh, really?

11:51 Drew All right. So what's the question?

11:52 Adam Hurry up.

11:53 The question is that once I do stop taking it, how long does it usually take for these side effects to subside?

12:00 Drew Usually, it's very quick. I don't know why he told you to wait a month. You might want to talk to him about that again.

12:03 I don't know. He just said four weeks.

12:05 Drew He's not a psychiatrist, right? No.

12:07 No, no, no, no.

12:09 Adam No. Jesus Christ. You must drive everyone insane with that rapid fire no.

12:14 Drew Because he's probably not very comfortable with this medication, but I've never seen a psychiatrist do it for four weeks.

12:18 Adam Hold on.

12:19 He's not my psychiatrist. He's my primary.

12:21 Adam Didn't you say a month?

12:22 Drew Four weeks and a half.

12:23 He said to have it for four weeks, and then I'd be able to get off of it completely.

12:27 Adam But didn't you just say, I don't know why he told you a month and she said no, he said four weeks?

12:33 Amber Benson Well, same difference.

13:04 Drew And in here, really liked this guy. Who was that?

13:07 Adam Who was in here?

13:08 Who was on there?

13:09 Adam Hold on, Drew, shut up. Who?

13:11 Adima.

13:12 Adam Adima, right.

13:13 Caller Lovely.

13:13 Adam All right. Let another good one go for us. Would you please?

13:16 Would you like that? All right. I got to sit down.

13:19 Amber Benson Oh, dude.

13:21 Adam Anderson hates this.

13:24 Drew This is the one that really impressed you too.

13:25 Adam Yeah. This is tremendous.

13:27 Amber Benson I'm not really going to.

13:28 Adam All right. Here we go. All right.

13:39 Amber Benson Is that for real?

13:41 Adam It is because it would be.

13:45 Amber Benson He's blowing into the phone. Come on.

13:49 Adam No.

13:49 Amber Benson That was too quick. How did he get it from him?

13:51 Oh, my God. Hold the phones. I can't believe that.

13:55 Adam Yeah, he could do that. Yeah, that was impressive.

13:58 I was just curious if you guys could, I want you guys to put some money on this and figure out why I can do this.

14:05 Adam Well, who's going to determine the winner?

14:09 I'll tell you. I'll tell you who's closest to why I can do this.

14:13 Adam Well, touch by the hand of God. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious. You suck air in through your ass and then you expel it.

14:21 Yeah, but yeah, but I'm not saying the-

14:23 Adam But why?

14:24 Yeah, like, what was the cause?

14:27 Amber Benson Oh, I'm sorry.

14:29 Who cares?

14:30 Adam Hold on a second. But here's what I'm- I don't know what he's getting at. Is he going to say that he was injured in junior high, that he was impaled on some rebar or something? Is that what he's getting at?

14:43 Drew That's what I think.

14:44 Adam Will?

14:44 Yeah?

14:46 Adam We're not sure what to bet on. Explain the parameters.

14:51 Okay. Obviously, the cause of it is because I get sucking air through my ass.

14:55 Adam Right.

14:56 But I want you to-

14:57 Adam Oh, oh, oh, I know. Because you were brutally, anally raped for many years by a well-endowed uncle.

15:04 How did you know? It wasn't that.

15:07 Adam I ain't all right. Who? Then how? You tell us that.

15:09 I'll go ahead and tell you guys.

15:10 Adam Yes, thank you.

15:11 When I was born, I was born with no asshole. None at all. Doctors had to go in there and create one.

15:18 Drew There is such a thing.

15:20 Adam Really?

15:20 Yeah.

15:22 Isn't that weird?

15:24 Adam Yeah. Is that what gave you this ability?

15:26 Amber Benson Is this his real name?

15:27 That's the one thing I can think of.

15:28 Drew Well, this is what Adam was talking about. You were touched by God.

15:31 Yeah, pretty much.

15:32 Adam You were actually born with no ass.

15:34 No ass at all.

15:36 Drew They create one.

15:36 I had about six operations when I was born and two years old. It was horrible, but you know.

15:45 Adam That is just bad times.

15:46 Drew Well, no. I'm thankful he lives in a time when that can be repaired nicely. Plus, give him the extra talent things.

15:53 Amber Benson Colostomy bag would not be pretty.

15:54 Adam Don't you feel in a way that you're sort of defying the doctors, the health care system and God himself by then using your ass like a kazoo? I mean, this precious ass that was given to you.

16:06 Drew Using it for ill?

16:07 Adam Well, you know the guys who get the liver transplant and they keep drinking? And you kind of feel like saying to them, hey, buddy, come on now.

16:13 Drew At least Will shares this with the world. Sharing his glory. And he brought it right to you, Adam.

16:17 Adam That's true.

16:18 Amber Benson It's a sign of affection, you know.

16:20 Adam Imagine these poor parents like, what? Will's in the hospital again? He was born with no asshole. He said, what? No, he has no... I wonder how they said that. How would you couch that if you were a parent and you're just trying to be delicate?

16:35 Amber Benson How would the doctor tell you?

16:36 Drew I'm trying to think of the name for it. Yeah, it's like lowacol, you know.

16:42 Adam Minus anus syndrome. Shannon?

16:46 Yeah, hey, how you guys doing?

16:47 Adam Hey, good, you're 27.

16:49 Caller Yes, sir. First of all, like I say, I love your show. Listen to it all the time. And Anderson, I don't know how. I do not know how you get in there so quick with all those drops, but, dude, you're the bomb.

17:00 Adam Yeah, it's amazing, except for the ones we want him to do, which he never does those.

17:06 Caller All right, so I, excuse me, I've been dating this girl just a couple of times, and she told me last Friday, a couple of days ago, that she had checked me out through the university computer.

17:24 Drew The Terrapins went yesterday?

17:26 Adam I don't know.

17:27 Caller Yeah. No, no, sorry, they left to Florida State.

17:29 Adam Okay. So she checked you out through the computer.

17:33 Caller Yeah, not just the computer. I mean, but her, like a friend of hers has like access to student records.

17:39 Adam So you're a student there?

17:41 Caller Yeah, I'm a graduate student, yeah.

17:43 Adam Okay, so she checked you out, and what did she find?

17:45 Caller Yeah, well, well, like she was checking out my age to make sure that I was, you know, as old as I said I was, and she was, I was actually a student.

17:55 Drew And this was a guy, this was a woman you dated once?

17:58 Caller Um, let's see, a day or once, and well, twice on a second date.

18:02 Adam How do you know she did this?

18:04 Amber Benson She told him.

18:05 Caller Well, you know, I don't know that she did, but I'm not sure why she would fabricate it, you know what I mean?

18:10 Drew She told you.

18:10 Adam She told you this is what I did.

18:12 Caller Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right.

18:13 Amber Benson You know, I take the fifth on this. I'm not even, I've done that, where I've looked. Well, no, no, I just like, I went out with, I've gone out with guys, and I've like, looked them up online, you know.

18:22 Adam Wait a minute, I thought you were a lesbian.

18:24 Amber Benson No, on TV.

18:25 Adam Just plays on TV. You said you were a lesbo.

18:27 Amber Benson I said on TV.

18:28 Adam Well, on TV, whatever.

18:29 Amber Benson Well, your mind goes where it wants to go.

18:30 Adam Listen, I'm straight on TV. I'm straight off TV.

18:32 Drew What do you look up in the web?

18:33 Amber Benson Well, you just type their name into Yahoo! and you see what comes up.

18:36 Caller No, no, no, no, no, look.

18:37 Amber Benson I know this is records and stuff.

18:39 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

18:41 Amber Benson I know this is like records and stuff and like personal stuff that she should not be getting into.

18:47 Drew Exactly.

18:47 Amber Benson But I understand the inclination to want to know as much about somebody as possibly can.

18:51 Drew I had the first time a patient...

18:53 Caller I mean, there's a thing called the Buckley Amendment, right? It says that student records cannot be devoted.

18:58 Amber Benson Totally.

18:59 Drew Except however...

19:00 Caller However... How is this not a university official doing it?

19:03 Adam Oh, who cares? What have you got in there?

19:05 Drew But listen, I had an identity thing happen last week. A patient comes up and goes, well, I checked out online in the National Physicians Registry. Your grades are there, your comments by your professors. I'm like, whoa. You feel violated when somebody does that. Yet, I had the right to not care.

19:20 Amber Benson It's all there.

19:21 Drew But even when you have nothing to hide, you still feel like, hey, what's up here? What are you up to?

19:26 Amber Benson I had my phone number online for a long time. Someone called and they were hanging up and we had to change it. Someone's like, oh yeah, your number's online. I'm like, what? My number's online? How can it be online? Have you ever get listed in the phone book or if anybody finds anything, they just put it online?

19:40 Adam Yeah. God bless them. I'm not sure what Shannon's. Shannon, just real fast, are you outraged? Are you disappointed? Do you feel raped?

19:50 Caller I'm a little bit freaked out.

19:52 Drew All right.

19:52 Adam Freaked out.

19:54 Drew Why don't you stop dating her?

19:55 Adam Okay. Then don't date her.

19:57 Drew Right.

19:58 Adam Okay.

19:59 Caller Well, that's what I was looking for.

20:00 Adam Actually, it's fine. Listen, I wouldn't care, personally. She told you, that's got to be worth something, right?

20:08 Caller You're right. It does. Yeah.

20:09 Drew Is she like a computer nerd where she lives in that world, so it's matter of fact to her?

20:13 Amber Benson Hacker-esque.

20:14 Drew Yeah. Some people are sort of live in this side of the world.

20:16 Adam Listen, here's the deal, especially in this turbulent climate we're in. There's a lot of people, and I really do think this added to it, this whole hijacker, these guys living amongst us, you know, neighbors, attending meetings and going to barbecues and stuff like that. People are unsure who they're getting hooked up with these days. And I think women have the right to be a little more concerned about it than men do. You get hooked up with one of these guys and you wouldn't know it until he rapes you on the fifth date. That's my lucky rape date. Yeah.

20:50 Amber Benson Five.

20:51 Adam Four is all right. Six is not so good, but five. You get to the fifth date, Adam?

20:55 Amber Benson That happens?

20:55 Adam No. Sometimes I have to set the rape date early because I know we're not going to get to the fifth. Yeah. Two, two and a half.

21:00 Amber Benson Oh, that's terrible.

21:01 Adam But here's the thing. All right. So she looked it up. Drew, wouldn't you almost encourage your daughter to take a look at a guy these days?

21:12 Amber Benson I go to Yahoo. You know, I want to I seriously you want to know like.

21:15 Adam Fine. She's a young lady.

21:16 Amber Benson You know, you can find out what's going on at school or you know.

21:19 Adam She told him. She told him she did it.

21:21 Amber Benson Yeah. But going into personal like that, that's a little intrusive.

21:24 Adam It's a little intrusive. And she said she did it. He didn't have anything in there. And so she told him.

21:30 Amber Benson So it's illegal what she did, really.

21:32 Adam I mean, listen, listen, who cares if she hot.

21:34 Amber Benson Come on.

21:35 Adam Urinating on the sidewalk is. But it doesn't slow me down. Here's my point. If he wants to get freaked out by it and never see her again, fine, be a puss, who cares? You know, but if he really likes her and he's dumping her because of that, I think that's kind of a mistake, especially when she came clean. It's not like he found out about it. She told him about it. Right. So if he's really into her, fine. If he didn't like her in the first place and this is just a good excuse, then go ahead and do it. I don't really care about that stuff. I don't think all that stuff's that big a deal.

22:07 Drew You have no history. What are they going to find on you?

22:10 Adam Well, just in general, all that crap that women pull all the time and they go, it's not that you cheated, it's that you lied. No, no, it's always the action. If someone wants to look up your past and there's nothing in your past, then let them look all they want. I did some gay porn in the late 70s. It was in that castle, by the way. I still got the rug burns. All right, Lord Rugburn, they called me, call Merlin, the doctor to get rid of my syphilis. All right, Amber Benson is our guest tonight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She plays a lesbian, apparently not a lesbian in real life.

22:44 Amber Benson Women are nice, but I like boys better. Well, that's news. You never know, maybe there's a great girl out there for me. I don't know.

22:51 Drew You're lesbian.

22:52 Adam Drew, please, she said she wasn't. We'll take a little break. When we come back, we're going to talk to Brandy, who's lost the ability to have vaginal orgasms. Wants to know why after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Alien Ant Farm's gonna be in here tomorrow night. They've heated up since they were on here last. They were here last, weren't they?

23:51 Drew Yeah, you must have cursed them.

23:54 Adam You get the Corolla curse, everything turns to gold.

23:58 Amber Benson Wanna curse me, please?

23:59 Adam No, who's the last, who'd I curse? No doubt, cursed them six years ago. Who else?

24:09 Caller Do you want a blowjob or do you want a girlfriend?

24:12 Adam Oh, that's Capri, yeah.

24:13 Drew You didn't kiss her.

24:14 Adam I didn't give her the kiss of success, which is my curse. Amber Benson is our guest tonight. She's from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She plays Tara, Tara? Tara, Tara the Lesbian?

24:29 Amber Benson Just doing it on purpose.

24:29 Drew Tara don't come like Tara.

24:30 Adam Tara the Lesbian?

24:31 Amber Benson Actually, I don't care.

24:32 Drew You're a lesbian.

24:33 Amber Benson It's three years now. I'm to the point where I don't care.

24:36 Drew You're a lesbian.

24:37 Adam Tara and Tara spelled the same way, right? Yeah. All right. Something's got to change about that.

24:42 Amber Benson A rat backwards.

24:44 Adam Oh, yeah. It is. Yeah, it is. I thought about that. Yeah. All right. Where are we? Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1 and to the phones and we'll speak to Brandy, who's 18. Brandy?

24:58 Hello. Hello.

25:01 Caller As of right now, I can't have vaginal orgasm.

25:04 Drew As of right now?

25:06 Well, sorry, wrong term. As of a couple of months ago.

25:10 Drew You're a lesbian. What has changed? Please.

25:12 Caller Partially. Not a lot.

25:13 Drew Has anything changed since then?

25:14 Adam Bisexual?

25:16 Caller A little bit.

25:17 Drew A little bit.

25:18 Caller Not bi-curious, but just a little bisexual.

25:23 Amber Benson Maybe we all are.

25:25 Caller Anyway, nothing has changed as far as my boyfriend.

25:28 Adam And you were having vaginal orgasms in the past?

25:31 Caller I've had great vaginal orgasms. I've been having about 14 in a row.

25:35 Caller Jesus.

25:36 Adam Uh-oh. I'm almost ready to do some gambling here.

25:41 Drew Any medication you're taking now?

25:43 Caller Same one I've been on for years.

25:45 Estr-Step.

25:48 Adam What the hell is that?

25:48 Drew Estrogen.

25:49 Adam It's like a workout video for old people.

25:53 Drew And that's no other medication?

25:55 Caller No other medications.

25:56 Adam Yeah. Were you ever molested?

25:59 Actually, when I was three, I had some neighborhood...

26:02 Caller Oh, I can go off on my hat.

26:03 Adam I could have made so much money. I was about... That's why I said, let's bet. You see that, Drew? I wanted to gamble.

26:10 Amber Benson Do you feel the same way about your boyfriend? I mean, like, is the relationship in the same, like, emotional place?

26:15 Adam Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

26:16 Drew No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

26:18 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

26:19 Drew Is it in a better emotional place?

26:21 Um, yeah, actually.

26:23 Drew Okay. More intimate.

26:24 Yes.

26:25 Drew That's what I would have predicted.

26:26 Adam Oh, listen here, Weisenheimer. I was about to beat you for the fifth bet in a row. I've been kicking Drew's ass all over the studio.

26:33 Drew Because when she gets intimate, then it becomes overwhelming and intense, and that's when she can't function.

26:37 Adam She was in... She was having 14 in a row, and now she's having none. You know, that cycle about people have been molested.

26:44 Drew Yeah, but one thing that will shut them down is being vulnerable.

26:48 Adam Well, but also, it's just a cyclical thing. I mean, you have a whole bunch, and then it dries up.

26:55 Caller You know what I mean?

26:57 Adam What's that? Clitoral? Listen, you wrap that clitoral, that clitoris you got there in sulfane at night, so it doesn't go bad, because that's next. That's this close to drying up.

27:08 Amber Benson Oh, don't do that.

27:08 Adam You need some sort of clitoris tupperware to keep that fresh, because that's going too. Clitoris tupperware?

27:14 Clitoris tupperware.

27:16 Adam I'll come over and burp it for you before you go to bed.

27:19 Amber Benson I can just see the old ladies going around with this stuff.

27:21 Adam We're having a clitoris tupperware party. Hey, that would be a party. Imagine putting the word tupperware and party in the same sentence. Settle, settle, you crazy lesbian.

27:36 Amber Benson It's just funny. I just see these old ladies with tupperware, but really tiny.

27:41 Adam You'd queef them. You wouldn't burp them. Hey, Brandy, have you ever got any therapy for your molestation thing?

27:50 Caller My parents are the type that just don't believe in it, and I don't have the money to.

27:54 Adam All right.

27:55 Drew That'd be a great thing to do.

27:56 Adam What about a book for her to read?

27:58 Caller Actually, it'll probably scare Dr. Drew, but I'm really interested in going into psychology.

28:04 Adam That's good. Oh, I'll screw it up. Listen, my dad's a shrink, and he's the world's worst parent.

28:10 Caller Are you kidding me?

28:11 Adam My whole family is into that, and they're horrible. Go ahead, Drew.

28:15 Drew I'm just trying to think of this as a book that can help deal with trauma. Because have you had other things happen in your life?

28:21 Caller Huh?

28:21 Drew Have you had other stuff happen in your life besides that?

28:24 Like I said, you can just go off.

28:25 Caller I was a young age. My dad was gone a lot, so I'd always walk in on my mom and whatever boyfriend. As I took care of my handicapped brother, nonetheless.

28:36 So it was definitely interesting growing up.

28:38 Adam All right.

28:38 Drew Well, check out.

28:40 Adam Drew, what's wrong with your spidey sense? It's completely gone.

28:43 Drew It's off, yeah.

28:44 Adam I was reaching for my wallet 30 seconds into this call.

28:47 Drew I had nothing. That's what I said. My instincts are off.

28:49 Adam That's what I tell people all the time. They're like, Drew's the smart one. I'm like, no way. I'm twice as smart as that guy.

28:54 Drew I've been overthinking stuff lately. You know what I mean? You don't react to your instincts. You're thinking.

28:58 Adam That's an interesting angle on being stupid. It's a nice sweetening of it. It's like, here's my problem. I'm too smart.

29:07 Drew I think too much.

29:07 Adam Yeah. It's like your taste buds being so developed that everything tastes like crap. It's instead of just being numb in the mouth. It's a good twist. It's a good angle.

29:17 Drew It's like the way a dog smell is. That's why a dog starts smelling poop. It comes all the way around and starts smelling like roses.

29:22 Adam Did your publicist come up with that? Too great a thinker to be smart?

29:26 Drew But listen, for Brandy, I just sort of a basic book. There's a book called The Search for the Real Self by a guy named Masterson. It's pretty good to start with.

29:34 Adam Okay. So she can't afford therapy. She got molested. She had a retarded brother. She's walking in on mom.

29:40 Drew Another good one for her would be the drama of The Gifted Child, because I'm sure she was the caretaker of the family too.

29:46 Adam All right. Lee? Hi. Hey, you're 27. Hey, Amber, would you go out with me? Yes.

29:53 Amber Benson Thanks, Adam. Man, you're making my love life just sing.

29:55 Adam What do you do for? You're single, right? Your boyfriend?

29:59 Drew Lee, are you a lesbian?

30:00 Amber Benson Am I a lesbian?

30:01 Drew No, Lee.

30:02 Adam Lee's a good lesbian name. I think the best. No.

30:05 Amber Benson Lee's a guy.

30:08 Adam She only dates lesbians.

30:09 No.

30:10 Amber Benson Stop it. I'm not seriously dating anybody at the moment.

30:15 Adam So what are your qualifications, Lee?

30:18 Well, I'm a nice guy, I'm an intelligent, and like you, Adam, I have a pristine penis.

30:23 Adam Nice. We're great together.

30:24 Drew No, Adam's had a stunt penis.

30:26 Adam What do you do for a living?

30:27 I'm a software engineer.

30:29 Adam That could be worth something. What do you do? Do you make good money?

30:34 Caller Yeah.

30:35 I make it to the tune of 60k a year.

30:37 Adam To the tune of 60k a year?

30:39 Caller Yeah.

30:40 Adam Which is nothing to a big actress.

30:42 Amber Benson Well, he's got a nice voice though.

30:45 Adam Yeah, and he's confident. I like that in a man. You live in the Pasadena area?

30:50 Caller Yeah.

30:52 Adam Not too far. 27 years old?

30:54 Caller Yeah.

30:54 Drew In a wheelhouse.

30:56 Adam What do you look like? Describe yourself physically.

30:59 About 6'2.

31:00 Adam I have long hair. Uh-oh.

31:03 Amber Benson What's up with the long hair? Wait a minute. You got long hair.

31:06 Drew Yeah.

31:06 Adam Do you like long hair?

31:08 Amber Benson Have I ever gotten a letter from you?

31:10 Drew Yes, you did in fact.

31:11 I offered to be your chauffeur.

31:12 Amber Benson Oh my God. I knew it. I knew it. Oh my God. You're the talk of like the Buffy production office.

31:17 Drew Oh really?

31:18 Amber Benson Oh yes. I showed everybody those pictures.

31:21 Adam What pictures?

31:22 Drew Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

31:25 Amber Benson You should see the look on Dr. Drew's face.

31:27 Adam What pictures?

31:28 Drew I sent Amber pictures of me in my car and offered to be her chauffeur. I heard on this show that she doesn't drive.

31:33 Amber Benson He's very cute. He's very sweet.

31:35 Adam What kind of car do you drive?

31:36 Drew An old Mercedes.

31:37 Amber Benson He said he'd paint it blue for me.

31:39 Adam Nice.

31:40 Amber Benson He sent me pictures of stuffed animals.

31:42 Drew Pass it is not too far. He'd come down here tonight.

31:44 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on a second, retard. Now, you're really not thinking. The guy's taking pictures of stuffed animals. He's a little twisted for a 27-year-old man.

31:56 Drew He's in love with Amber.

31:57 Adam Do you like stuffed animals?

32:00 Amber Benson I've gone beyond the stuffed animal phase of my life. You've outgrown the stuffed animal. I am kind of dating somebody, so I don't think he would look too. I mean, it's not serious, but it's heading in that direction.

32:11 Adam Serious direction?

32:13 Amber Benson Yeah.

32:13 Adam Why? Are you pregnant?

32:15 Amber Benson How did you know? God, do I?

32:17 Adam No, I can smell it on a woman.

32:19 Amber Benson No, I'm not. It would be the immaculate conception at this point.

32:22 Adam Oh, really? Jesus Christ. Well, you live with your mom. What are you going to do?

32:27 Caller Lee?

32:28 Adam Sorry, buddy. You just find yourself a nice nerdy chick that lives around JPL.

32:33 Amber Benson No, he's very cute.

32:34 Adam He's very cute. No, I'm not saying he's not. I'm saying he needs a nice nerdy chick.

32:38 Caller All right. Sorry, Lee.

32:38 Amber Benson He needs one of his night psychotic.

32:39 Adam Lee, don't do anything stupid. Okay. Don't kill a bird and take a picture of it.

32:45 Amber Benson No, it was very cute, very sweet.

32:47 Adam Where do people get that energy? Do you know what I mean?

32:50 Drew Send pictures and stuff.

32:51 Adam Just to do anything.

32:52 Drew Yeah. Adam, please. I'm a soulmate of yours as far as it goes to that stuff. We're just waiting to die, you and I.

33:00 Adam Yeah. We'd like to be left alone until we die. Then send all the pictures you like.

33:05 Amber Benson I knew it was him. I just had this feeling. He was in Pasadena. I was like, wait a minute.

33:09 Adam Well, how long ago did he send these pictures?

33:10 Amber Benson This was pretty recently. Well, he probably sent them a while ago. I just got them.

33:14 Drew Was he cute? Why are they the talk of the production office?

33:16 Amber Benson Because as I was upstairs and I got my mail and I opened, I was like, oh my God, this guy's offered to be mine. I read the letter and everybody was all like, oh, that's so cute. They actually have some of the stuffed animal pictures up in the production office.

33:30 Adam Taking pictures of stuff. Did you announce that you're into stuffed animals?

33:34 Amber Benson No, but everybody was talking. I guess there's something called a plushie that likes to have sex with stuffed animals. Oh, yeah.

33:40 Drew Is he one of those?

33:41 Amber Benson No, I don't think so. But the office obviously, they go right to that, oh, is he a plushie? I'm like, I don't think so. I think it was more just to show that he was.

33:49 Adam He's a guy who has sex with stuffed animals.

33:50 Amber Benson Although I was very offended because he had a picture of himself next to a poster of Allison Hannigan who plays my girlfriend.

33:56 Adam Oh, that is such BS.

33:57 Amber Benson But he said there was no poster of me, so. I would die if there was a poster of me.

34:01 Drew That is, he wants to be in Allison's place.

34:03 Amber Benson Probably, probably.

34:05 Adam Hey, Sid?

34:06 Caller Yeah.

34:06 Adam What's up?

34:07 Caller Not much. Bad times, man.

34:09 Adam Yeah, bad times.

34:10 Caller What's the matter? Well, I don't know.

34:12 Drew Same as Sid.

34:13 Caller Yeah, just a question for Dr. Drew, really. Yeah. I don't know, kind of, nobody really came to me and told me, but just small hints and drops from people and his stuff, I come to realize that I got halitosis, which is, you know, horrible, horrible, bad, you know, breath, you know, you can smell it from here for a mile.

34:34 Drew All right. So there's a lot of things you can do to try to help that, right?

34:38 Caller All right. So far, I've gone to the local drugstore and bought the expensive, you know, the good mouthwash. They do absolutely nothing.

34:47 Drew Have you gone to the dentist to make sure you don't have any bacteria or problems in your mouth?

34:50 Caller Well, I do. I know I do. I wake up in the morning and I have a layer of white, I don't know, gross stuff all over my tongue. It takes me about 45 minutes of scraping with the tongue scraper to get it off my tongue, and then that only lasts for about an hour.

35:07 Amber Benson For the stomach or something?

35:08 Drew It could be a lot of things. Did you see the dentist?

35:10 Caller Well, last time I went to the dentist was when I was just first finding out about it, and I was kind of nervous about it, and I just said to her as I was going out, it didn't make a big deal, I said, well, how do you take care of bad breath? And she said, well, just brush your teeth real good.

35:26 Drew No, you need to go back. You need to go back. They're actually, the majority of the really bad calcium breath problems are actually from bacterial overgrowth in the back of the tongue, and there's special brushes that can give you, and they can actually measure the gas production by the bacteria. There's that, there's reflux from your stomach, there's whatever you might be eating, you might keep your diet sort of bland. There's- I want you to just eat chalk and shredded wheat.

35:49 Adam Charcoal and plain yogurt.

35:50 Drew And then there's your mouth hygiene, make sure there's not any bacterial growth in there that could be causing bad smell.

35:57 Adam Yeah.

35:58 Drew There's a lot of things you can do, and then it sounds like you might have a yeast infection in the mouth. That can make a funky smell.

36:04 Adam There's dentists that just pretty much specialize in this these days. I was at a movie today, I walked out because someone had funky breath.

36:13 Oh, really?

36:15 Adam Yeah, really. I think it's because I'm a big star now and a literal millionaire.

36:21 Amber Benson You can't take the bad breath and the yawning and snoring and-

36:27 Adam I got nestled in between five of the worst people I'd ever met in my life, and about 20 minutes in a film, I just said, I've had an asshole.

36:36 Drew Instead of living with people in the theater, why don't you just move seats?

36:39 Amber Benson Yeah.

36:40 Adam Didn't even want to be in the same theater. You know why?

36:42 Drew You let it go so long, you got angry. No.

36:45 Adam Here's what happened. I saw, I went to see the movie Bandits, and the movie is one of these movies that begins at the ending, and lays it all out, and then proceeds.

36:59 Drew So you missed that because you're too distracted by the smells.

37:02 Adam No. I missed that because I had these A-holes, you know these A-holes that pile in right at the beginning of the movie? You know what I'm talking about? You're sitting there for 25 minutes watching the Popcorn, Mr. Popcorn, not to use your cell phone.

37:18 Drew Good and plenty dancing around.

37:20 Adam Right. The whole concession stand band, Dixieland band, and the whole thing, sitting there the whole time, and then right when the movie begins, here comes the guy and this chick and her friend, and then there was a retarded guy behind me, kept repeating what they were saying. He was actually a little bit retarded.

37:40 Drew So the rain man was sitting behind you?

37:42 Adam Yeah. And there was a woman and her son who were behind me, too, and they were just having conversations like animals. You know, people are like animals, the dumb ones, dumb ones. You know how a dog will just lick his balls in front of the queen? Just right in front of the queen. Queen of England could be standing there, dog would lick his balls.

38:02 Amber Benson I don't know if that's stupidity or just, you know.

38:04 Adam No, that's evolution. They're just down on the chain. And you know how stupid people get in arguments in front of other people? Like, you know, like when cops, you turn on cops and the guy's got his gun drawn, he's like, sir, lay down on your face. And the guy's walking to him, waving a sprinkler key saying, what do you want? And the guy keeps yelling down, down on your face, and he keeps yelling, what are you doing? And he's waving the sprinkler key with his shirt off. That's stupidity. And people who talk and don't think other people can hear them or don't care or just not really in their, it's not really in their mind. Yeah, they're just sitting there just having a conversation in the theater. That's stupid. Now, we like to call it a bunch of other things, but it's really stupid. Isn't it just stupid?

38:49 Drew One piece of it. Yeah, one piece of it's stupid.

38:51 Adam How smart do you think that person is? Do you think they're stupid in the theater and a genius in the financial world outside of that? Maybe. No way. No way. No. It's like the dog licking his balls. They're closer to the dog than they are to Tony Randall, who I would put at the top of the human evolutionary scale. Yeah, from The Odd Couple. Remember him.

39:12 Amber Benson Yeah, yeah, yeah, Felix. Yeah, I know.

39:15 Adam He was a clean one.

39:15 Amber Benson Yeah, I know.

39:16 Adam You put him at the top. They're just having a conversation and then this other one's having a conversation, a retarded guy, and then this bad breath starts coming in.

39:24 Amber Benson I thought you said bad breast. I'm sorry.

39:26 Adam Bad breath.

39:26 Drew That would offend him too.

39:27 Adam Bad breath. I'm going insane. After about 20 minutes, I asked.

39:30 Amber Benson I feel bad for this guy, Sid, though. He should just not worry about it. He needs to go in and talk to his gentle person and deal with it. He shouldn't be freaked out about it. He just needs to go get it taken care of. And speak up for himself.

39:44 Adam Okay. Amber Benson here from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's a big lesbian. We'll be back.

39:54 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:27 Caller Hey, what's up? This is Marco. This is Sonny. And we're POD and you're listening to Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on Loveline.

40:36 Adam Yeah, you are. Hey, it's Loveline. Alien Ant Farm in here tomorrow night. Amber Benson in here tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's Tara, the Lesbo. Eight o'clock, Tuesday night, WB.

40:52 Drew You're Lesbo.

40:52 Amber Benson Ah, you're backwards.

40:54 Drew Oh, jeez.

40:55 Amber Benson UPN.

40:56 Adam Oh, UPN.

40:57 Caller Oh, Jesus.

40:59 Amber Benson Oh, UPN.

40:59 Drew Unacceptable.

41:00 Amber Benson You're right.

41:00 Adam That was sorry.

41:01 Amber Benson But I do other things too. I'm sorry.

41:02 Adam That was horrible.

41:03 Amber Benson I do lots of other things.

41:04 Adam I'm going to write that down.

41:06 Amber Benson I'm not just.

41:08 Adam Yeah, she does movies.

41:09 Amber Benson I just directed a movie. Oh, my God. I did. I wrote a little feature and we shot it in 10 days on digital video and I got James Marsters, who's on the show with me, and Buffy to be in it and this woman named Christine Estherbrook from The Nicky Show and we're submitting to festivals.

41:23 Adam How long is it?

41:24 Amber Benson I directed it and I started it. 80 minutes. We just finished it.

41:27 Drew In 10 days?

41:28 Amber Benson Yeah. It's really good too. I'm really happy with it. We just finished editing.

41:32 Drew What's it about?

41:33 Amber Benson It's about.

41:34 Adam Lesbian.

41:35 Amber Benson Well, I didn't write it for me to do it, but they kind of made me the people with the money, who was my mom actually.

41:43 Adam Well, yeah, I know how moms are.

41:45 Drew Making your daughters get into lesbian interests and things.

41:49 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

41:51 Adam I am so mad at you, mom. I can't believe you taped that phone call.

41:57 Amber Benson No, but it's about this girl who has a male sensibility about relationships and how she bungles her way through. It's a bit like Bridget Jones, that kind of ditzy girl.

42:08 Drew Ten days.

42:09 Amber Benson Ten days, five weekends, while we were shooting Buffy last season.

42:14 Adam You shot on a digital camera?

42:15 Amber Benson Digital, yeah, Canon XL1.

42:16 Adam How's it look?

42:17 Amber Benson It looks phenomenal. It looks so good.

42:19 Adam How did you edit it?

42:21 Amber Benson On an avid. Buffy was really cool. They let me come in over the summer and edit. I got sick of just being the lesbian on Buffy. I wanted to branch out and be a lesbian on film too.

42:31 Adam Wow. When does it hit the festivals?

42:34 Amber Benson We'll see if we got in anything. So hopefully, hopefully we'll know.

42:38 Adam You send it and they have a review board?

42:41 Amber Benson Yeah. It's like being in high school again, where they make you write little like, I like the movie because, I mean, it's really like you have a little bio and a little thing about yourself and I was born in Birmingham, Alabama. It was really cheese ball.

42:57 Adam What's the toughest, like Sundance or Cannes or something like that?

43:01 Amber Benson I wouldn't go to Cannes. I mean, it's a little, no money.

43:04 Drew Do you ever try to put them on the independent film channel or anything before they, or is that only pick stuff up from the festival?

43:09 Amber Benson They usually pick it up from the festivals, unless they know your work and then, they come to you with something. I mean, I footed the bill pretty much and then we raised some money on the internet. We waged, we raised $25,000 on the internet. My mom and some friends of ours had a website and we sold pictures of me in director mode. Basically, it was a way for people to donate without investing. They were buying a product.

43:35 Drew Would they also get a share of the movie?

43:37 Amber Benson No, they just get a thank you at the end of the movie and they get a picture. But I just got sick of playing the-

43:43 Adam Man, that is ambitious.

43:46 Amber Benson I did a Buffy comic. I wrote a comic book. That was really cool. What's up with you? It's just up on me right now.

43:51 Adam You got to relax.

43:52 Amber Benson I just know that there are people in the room over there that will yell at me if I don't talk about this stuff.

43:56 Adam What do you do with the Buffy comic book?

43:58 Amber Benson I co-wrote it with this guy named Chris Golden. It's the Willow Tara. It's the lesbian comic.

44:06 Adam When does that come out?

44:07 Amber Benson It came out, actually. We're doing two more, but the first one came out and sold its run. It's really big in England. People would just follow me around with it. Can you sign my little comic, please?

44:18 Adam Comic books have a huge following, one that I never quite understood personally. I don't like reading, I believe.

44:25 Amber Benson There are very few women, too, so you get your pick of the guys when you go to the comic festivals. Let me tell you, it's nice.

44:31 Adam Oh, yeah. There's plenty.

44:32 Amber Benson It's me and Darth Vader all the way.

44:34 Adam Plenty of winners over there.

44:35 Amber Benson Me and the Klingons.

44:36 Adam Drew, have you ever read any comic books?

44:38 Drew Never.

44:38 Adam Never? I've never read one. You know why? You're good, though. I would look at the cover, and the cover looked great because it was all shiny and there was Spider-Man. He was rappelling down the side of a building or something.

44:48 Drew Black and white inside.

44:48 Adam When you open up, it looks like a newspaper. I said, screw this.

44:53 Drew There were words, Adam.

44:55 Amber Benson Reading is hard, huh?

44:56 Adam Yeah. For me, reading comic books was in a way like once in a while, I open a Sunday paper and I see like Rex Morgan MD, the serious comic about the serious doctor and I think, who the hell is reading this? Who's reading this?

45:13 Amber Benson Hey.

45:14 Adam You don't read that. No. Not Rex. You know, Drew, you're a doctor, you don't read that.

45:19 Drew No.

45:20 Adam What is that?

45:21 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have no idea. I thought the same thing myself.

45:24 Adam Thank you. David?

45:26 Yes.

45:26 Adam You're 25?

45:27 Caller Yes.

45:28 Adam What's up?

45:29 Caller Hey, I got really drunk last night at a party with a female friend of mine and we ended up having sex, not rejected sex. The thing is, I didn't come. I didn't come the whole time. It's not just like- It doesn't matter. I didn't pull out. I know that there's a potential there for her still getting pregnant. I'm wondering, I went around today and try to find a planned parenthood places and they're all closed. Tomorrow at 7, I'm going to get some morning after fill.

46:00 Drew Great.

46:01 Caller But I'm just freaking out right now and I'm just wondering what are my odds?

46:06 Amber Benson Shouldn't she be the one to like, I mean, this is her body, she needs to be seen, doesn't she, and have it monitored?

46:13 Drew Not really, the American Medical Women's Association thinks that all women should have access to that. It should be over the counter, it should be...

46:21 Amber Benson I don't know much about it.

46:22 Drew Worldwide, it's been used millions of time.

46:24 Adam It's like the morning after pill.

46:25 Amber Benson It's the RX whatever from England?

46:27 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

46:29 Amber Benson No, different?

46:30 Adam That's a car made by Mazda, by the way.

46:33 Drew That's RU46, that's an abortion pill and that requires a lot of monitoring. This is birth control pill taken after sex that prevents ovulation just like the birth control is taken before sex. You have three days to do it.

46:45 Amber Benson Well, you take like six pills.

46:46 Drew You take two to four, two, usually. And it is about a day two that will be right. It happened last night. Correct. So day two has about 80% chance of preventing pregnancy. Okay. But they need to make it to other things too. That's the number I can give you and.

47:01 Amber Benson Test for other things.

47:02 Adam Yeah, he doesn't have anything.

47:04 Amber Benson That he knows.

47:05 Adam No, he doesn't. He doesn't get it that much. Hey, David.

47:08 Caller Yeah.

47:09 Adam Okay. And these places are all closed on Sunday, huh?

47:12 Caller Yeah. And I was going around to emergency rooms and stuff like that. And they weren't.

47:17 Drew Well, your girlfriend could go and get it.

47:21 Adam I could do 20 minutes on why crab shampoo has to be prescribed and why this morning after pill has to be prescribed. And we can buy crossbows and tequila everywhere. And gasoline. And cigarettes. And cigarettes. Why is that? I don't know. Doesn't make sense. Let's put it out there, you pious retards, and stop these idiots from having kids. Thank you. We'll be back in just a moment.

47:48 Caller All right, guys.

47:48 Bottom line, here's the deal.

47:50 Caller Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:53 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

47:55 Drew The Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

48:01 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

48:03 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:07 Caller We'll be right back.

48:44 Drew Hey, it's Loveline.

48:45 Adam Hey, thank you there, Drew.

48:46 Drew System of a Down.

48:56 Caller Chicken. Chicken.

48:59 Adam Chicken.

49:01 Drew Chicken.

49:02 Adam Chicken. Chicken.

49:06 Drew Chicken.

49:07 Adam Chicken.

49:08 Drew People could have heard what we heard that one lovely afternoon in Pasadena behind the stage of System of a Down.

49:13 Adam Well, it's to be fair, the band we were behind the stage.

49:16 Drew Yeah, I understand.

49:16 Adam Mom and a chicken, a bop a da bop.

49:17 Drew This is what we heard.

49:18 Caller Chicken, a mom and a bop a da bop.

49:20 Adam Mom and a chicken, a bop a da bop.

49:22 Caller Chicken, a mom and a bop, hey.

49:25 Amber Benson I'm so out of the loop, I don't even know.

49:26 Adam You're not hip to the System of a Down?

49:28 Huh?

49:29 Adam Very hot with the kids.

49:31 Amber Benson I'm getting old.

49:32 Adam Amber Benson is our guest tonight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. UPN, Tuesdays, 8 o'clock.

49:39 Amber Benson You know there's like a porno that's Muffy the Vampire Lair.

49:42 Adam Well, you know you've arrived.

49:45 Amber Benson Not me, other people.

49:46 Adam Well, you know the show has arrived.

49:48 Caller Yeah.

49:48 Adam When the porn is.

49:49 Amber Benson The show has come and his hit hits climax.

49:54 Adam Yeah, very good. Sixth season, everybody.

49:58 Amber Benson God, I hope it's the sixth. It is the sixth season.

50:01 Adam I was going to say fifth.

50:02 Caller It is, it is.

50:03 Adam All right, six. Let's talk to Sagan.

50:09 Drew Sagan.

50:10 Hello. Who?

50:14 Drew There he is. It's like playing.

50:16 Adam Is it a guy?

50:16 Amber Benson Ozzy Osbourne backwards.

50:19 Caller All right.

50:20 Adam Should we put him on hold?

50:21 Caller But I'm not, see, I used to do a lot of screwing around in my medication.

50:27 Amber Benson Who's that? That's Ozzy.

50:30 Caller Who else talks like that?

50:31 Amber Benson I don't know.

50:32 Adam See, you call it, we play.

50:33 Amber Benson Wow.

50:34 Adam Debra?

50:34 Hi.

50:35 Adam You're 24?

50:36 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to say something. You were talking about the morning after pill, and a few months ago my friend told me that her condom broke during sex with her boyfriend and she's freaking out because she's not on the pill. Because I've been listening to your show for eight years, I need to ask her if it happened in the last 72 hours and got her to plan parenthood and got her the morning after pill and she didn't get pregnant.

50:55 Drew God bless you, Debra.

50:57 Caller Well, God bless you guys because I've been listening to you. That's how I know.

51:00 Adam Thanks.

51:01 Drew Thank you. I feel purposeful. I'm coming back tomorrow night.

51:06 Adam I just never have heard anyone else talk about this and it seems to be something that would make quite a positive impact in our society. I just wonder where all the politicians are when it comes to things that actually could impact society in a positive way.

51:22 Amber Benson They're still saying you can't get pregnant the first time.

51:25 Caller Huh?

51:26 Adam Yeah, anyway.

51:27 Amber Benson Abstinence.

51:29 Adam Yeah, I told that old hag Maxine Waters about it. She didn't know what I was talking about.

51:35 Drew But it's in fact, the abstinence message and this should go hand in hand.

51:40 Amber Benson Totally, totally. You can't preach one without the other because kids aren't gonna-

51:45 Drew They've gone these diverse, these disparate paths. And that's to the detriment of the health of young people.

51:50 Adam Oh, and by the way, I don't know why, but I was just thinking about this the other day. Hold on one second, Debra. Remember we had that crazy chick on from the abstinence council?

51:59 Drew Yeah, yeah.

52:00 Adam And she said that, here's the thing about these people. They're religious, not jobs. They don't get laid, so they don't want anyone else to get laid. That's the through-current here.

52:12 Amber Benson God forbid, anybody enjoys their lives.

52:13 Adam All the abstinent people, the people that preach this, can't get laid. And so now they have a legitimate cause behind the reason they can't get laid. They made it legitimate. And this woman, who is sort of reminded you, reminiscent of a Jane Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies, had about that much sexuality toward...

52:31 Drew That's her boss's name.

52:33 Adam Mr. Drysdale.

52:34 Amber Benson Mr. Drysdale.

52:35 Adam Yeah, I would have rather blown Mr. Drysdale than had sex with this woman. But she came on the show.

52:40 Amber Benson Yeah, did she now? And she came on the show.

52:43 Adam I was arguing with her about some of this stuff. And one of the things that she said was that the birth control pill, that there was data to support the fact that the birth control pill, that taking the birth control pill made you more susceptible to getting HIV.

52:59 Drew Oh yeah, and cancer too, as you went on.

53:01 Adam And I said, well, the reason you're more, the reason more people get HIV who are on the birth control pill is because they don't use condoms on the birth control pill. And that's why the data would suggest that they seem to be a higher risk group. And she said...

53:15 Amber Benson They're not thinking about the other things you can get, yeah.

53:17 Adam She said, nope, it's not the condom thing, or not only that, but the actual, she has data to support that the birth control pill somehow weakens your immune system so that you can contract HIV. And I said, no, you don't have any of that data. And she said, oh, yes, we do. And I said, well...

53:36 Amber Benson You got to fight with her, didn't you?

53:37 Adam I said, what is that data? And she said, I do not have that data here, but it is substantial. I'll fax it to you. And what did I say, Drew?

53:46 Drew Kiss my ass.

53:47 Adam No, I said, there's no data, and if you had data, you'd bring it in.

53:50 Drew She quoted this one guy.

53:52 Adam All right, but here's my point, here's my point. Here's what I wanted to say about her. I told her, go back to your office, get that data, and send it on in. I'll gladly read it over the air, but I know you'll never do it because it doesn't exist, and she never did it, of course.

54:08 Drew Whenever it's the opinion of one person, you really should look at it from the very jaundiced point of view, because it's one thing one person reporting on a discipline or points of view of lots of people.

54:19 Amber Benson Well, it's going to be subjective on top of that.

54:22 Drew But if you can't, if it's not an entire sort of community supporting a point of view, it's one person against the world, that person is up to something. He's acting out, that's it.

54:32 Adam Well, anyway, whatever her name was, I can't remember what it is, we're still waiting on that data that doesn't exist. And here's my thing. You're lying. She's a lying bitch. That's what I want to say. Do you know what I'm saying, Drew? She was lying. She was sitting there and lying. She had no data.

54:49 Drew I don't know that.

54:49 Adam You think that she had substantial data that she couldn't recall?

54:53 Drew No, I think she had this one guy's BS nonsense.

54:55 Adam Do you think that number meant anything? Do you think it was a substantial number?

54:59 Drew I don't think she knows that. I think these people, they delude themselves.

55:02 Adam No, they know it. If they have numbers that sound good, they will say, they memorize those numbers. She did not know the number. She knew every other number. She didn't know that number because it wasn't a number.

55:13 Amber Benson She's trying to get her point across anyway she can.

55:16 Adam Of course, even if it just means lying. It is lying. Come on, liar. Call up. Call up and give me that data, you lying bitch. You got nothing. That's why you're not calling you puss. Go hump your Bible, you screwball. Oh my God.

55:32 Amber Benson Well, listen.

55:34 Adam How come we don't beat on these people? They sit here and they lie. She was lying to our face. I'll have to check that data. Yes, honey, you've got nothing. We never heard from her again. If she's listening or someone knows her, send it on in. Come on. Give me that big data, you lying bitch. Deborah?

55:53 Caller Hi.

55:53 Adam Thank you.

55:54 Caller Sure.

55:55 Adam Trying to screw us all over. What's she doing? We've got to live with these kids that aren't wanted. Go ahead, Deborah.

56:03 Caller Okay. I started taking a diet pill. I've taken it just a few times. I don't know whether it's my imagination or not. I have sort of a pain in my lower back.

56:14 Drew Which pill?

56:15 Caller It's called Xanadrine.

56:17 Drew Xanadrine. Do not take that crap, please. Isn't there Ma Wang in that? There's like ephedra. All right? And the stimulants can give you back pain, absolutely.

56:27 Caller Is that what it is?

56:27 Drew Yeah.

56:28 Caller Okay. Why?

56:28 Is that also why Allegra would give me back pain?

56:31 Drew Allegra?

56:31 Caller Yeah.

56:32 Drew Allegra should not give you back pain.

56:33 Caller Well, one of the symptoms on the website is back pain.

56:35 Drew Well, here's what. Almost any medication can give you back pain, it turns out. And the reason, as I understand, listen, this is actually kind of complicated, and I have no good way of describing it in science except to say, clinically we see this all the time. In my experience, it's been pills that sort of make you feel worn out, may give you back pain. It's almost like somehow your central, you know, stabilizing muscles aren't working so well, you just feel tired. Like, I took Accutane for a while and it gave me horrible back pain. Right. There's like no reason for that. It's just I was tired all the time from it, and it gave me bad back pain. We also see, Deborah, back pain with stimulants and from opiates. Okay.

57:13 Caller And is that because it makes you tired as well?

57:16 Drew No, probably not. It's probably more... I've always thought it was associated... I only thought I was seeing it in addicts. Do you have alcohols in your family somewhere?

57:25 Caller No. There's an addiction... There's addiction, but it's not alcohol, but yeah.

57:30 Drew All right. So you may have the gene. What I think I'm seeing in that from stimulants and opiates is something we call a pain reward cycle, which is when your body sort of learns that you're going to give it a reward, it'll cause the pain that motivates you to go give yourself that reward. And so that's sort of what I think is going on there.

57:49 Adam All right. Hey baby, lay low on the carbs and get some exercise.

57:53 Caller Thank you.

57:54 Amber Benson Yeah, don't take that crap.

57:55 Adam And remember, you're not going to change your shape that much. You're fat. Find a guy who likes a big ass and settle in.

58:02 Caller I know.

58:02 Adam You know what I'm saying?

58:04 Caller Thank you, Adam.

58:04 Adam Well, it's true. I'm taking the pressure off. You got a big butt, right?

58:09 Amber Benson Join the club. I think that's just being a woman, my dear.

58:12 Adam There are guys who are into that. You just find one of those guys.

58:16 Amber Benson It doesn't. I can't tell you how many guys would rather go to bed with something that's got little meat on its bones than, you know, these little stick skeleton.

58:22 Adam Oh, yeah, absolutely. Especially black guys. I love that. Listen.

58:27 Amber Benson You have experience with this?

58:29 Adam I've slept with black guys. They always call me scrawny. Hey, Drew, seriously. Hey, Adam. Hey, hey. Speaking of big ass is true. I'm not sure about the blacks. Have you ever met anyone who's really changed their shape, male or female, too much?

58:44 Drew Not without surgery.

58:46 Adam Thank you. That's the sad reality. I mean, think about the people that have that shape, whatever shape, good or bad, whatever your shape is, male or female, whatever age they are. And then you see them 10 years later, same shape. Once in a while, someone loses a few pounds, looks a little better. But basically, everyone you know looks the same as, I mean...

59:09 Amber Benson The problem is I work with actors. And I'm not going to talk about this show I'm on now, but just doing this for 10 years, I've seen people go from looking completely normal and beautiful and healthy to little skeletons. I mean, it's really, I mean, they do change the shape.

59:24 Drew Their shape is the same. They're like skeleton versions of the same thing.

59:27 Amber Benson Exactly. It's scary.

59:30 Adam If you're put into a...

59:31 Amber Benson It's not worth it either. Let me tell you.

59:33 Adam If you get put in a concentration camp, your shape will change.

59:37 Drew I think guys can change their shape more than we can.

59:40 Adam Yeah, because guys go to the gym and they pump their arms up and they take a bunch of creatine.

59:44 Amber Benson You're building muscle there, not changing shape.

59:46 Drew It just changes them.

59:47 Adam Even they end up looking like the same dude with big arms.

59:50 Drew Yes.

59:50 Amber Benson Yeah, and no legs. It cracks me up because of the big arms and no legs.

59:55 Adam Yeah, I got the no arms, no penis left that women seem to enjoy. Peter? Yes. You're 28?

1:00:04 Caller Yes, sir.

1:00:04 Adam What's up?

1:00:06 Caller Well, I don't seem to be as sexually active as I used to be.

1:00:13 Adam Alrighty.

1:00:14 Drew What's changed?

1:00:16 Caller Well, I got a couple of things going on. As far as my work, I'm concentrating on work.

1:00:23 Drew What do you do for a living?

1:00:25 Caller I do cable TV upgrade.

1:00:28 Drew We've got to concentrate on that. That's very taxing.

1:00:33 Adam It takes you on the road.

1:00:34 Amber Benson So he's kind of stressed out.

1:00:36 Drew So you have a girlfriend or whatever?

1:00:38 No, I'm married.

1:00:39 Caller I've got three kids. I've been married for seven years. When my wife and I first met, I mean, we were having sex 15 times a day.

1:00:49 Drew Are you depressed?

1:00:51 Caller Not depressed. I mean, I like where I'm headed in life.

1:00:58 Drew How's the relationship with your wife?

1:01:00 Caller Pretty good. You know, I mean, we argue just, I guess, as much as any normal couple.

1:01:05 Drew You're still attracted to her?

1:01:07 Caller Yes, very much.

1:01:09 Drew And maybe just stressed.

1:01:10 Adam Well, by the way, he's 28. He sounds like he's 68, doesn't he?

1:01:13 Drew He sounds a little, yeah.

1:01:15 Amber Benson He's got three kids too. It's hard to find time to, you know.

1:01:17 Adam He's got three kids. He's still very feral. Don't believe him? I'll give you a run during the commercial break.

1:01:23 Drew A run?

1:01:23 Caller I've got this other thing going on where I've lost the ability to smell. Oh, that's- I know that has a lot to do with attraction.

1:01:31 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. Actually quite interesting.

1:01:33 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:01:35 Drew There's actually something called Kalman syndrome where you can lose sense of smell and your testes kind of shut down. How you get hypogonadism and lack of sense of smell.

1:01:45 Adam My nuts are just hearing that term.

1:01:47 Drew Yeah. Peter, that's actually something that does need to be looked into right away. That's an interesting-

1:01:53 Amber Benson Go to the doctor now.

1:01:54 Drew This is again living, that pheromone thing just-

1:01:56 Caller Now who do I go to? Do I go to an ear, nose, and throat?

1:01:59 Drew No, you go to an endocrinologist.

1:02:01 Caller Okay.

1:02:01 Drew Endocrinologist.

1:02:02 Amber Benson Or go to your general doctor and they'll refer you.

1:02:04 Drew You can start with an internist, but it's a pretty specialized thing to sort out. I would start with your family doctor, but then go to an endocrinologist. That's where that's going to be sort of sorted out.

1:02:16 Adam Did he just lose the ability to smell on his own and never check into it? Was that what he was saying? Peter? Peter?

1:02:24 Amber Benson What was that?

1:02:25 Caller Peter?

1:02:26 Adam Maybe he's running to the endocrinologist.

1:02:30 Drew He just let it happen. It could be nothing. It could be a bad scientist's disease.

1:02:34 Adam You could have used that last week when I was in here farting up a storm.

1:02:37 Drew I would have loved to have had a common center.

1:02:39 Adam But what about the shrinking nads?

1:02:41 Drew That's kind of sad.

1:02:42 Adam Let me say this real quick. I'm not going on a tire ride here, but I just want to say I love the fact that these cable TV companies, these rapists, are now all scrambling, trying to get their ass together and put out some kind of product when for the last 20 years, they've just been putting out this sort of subpar product and charging everybody an arm and a leg for it. I love the fact that you guys are now scrambling, scared, losing money, and having to actually do something. I hope you all go under, by the way, you idiots.

1:03:10 Drew I'm going to get the first broadband access from DirecTV in Southern California.

1:03:15 Adam Oh, boy.

1:03:16 Drew Put in this week. That's a big deal.

1:03:18 Adam What do you mean it's a big deal?

1:03:19 Amber Benson That's nice.

1:03:21 Drew You can use a computer.

1:03:22 Amber Benson Yeah, you can do everything.

1:03:23 Drew And it just all happens magic. What do you mean? It would take an hour. It takes like three minutes.

1:03:28 Adam Well, what are you downloading?

1:03:30 Drew I just yesterday I had to download a zip operating system.

1:03:33 Adam PDF files.

1:03:34 Drew Yeah, so I had to go.

1:03:35 Adam Porn, right?

1:03:36 Drew No, you would love it for that, I have no doubt. What's zip? I'm doing a PowerPoint presentation next week. And so you understand this stuff.

1:03:43 Adam You too, with your movie making and your PowerPoint presentation. Just relax. Relax both of you.

1:03:50 Amber Benson I just lost my DSL connection.

1:03:52 Drew See, you may be next for the broadband. I mean the satellite broadband, because it's all going to be in the air.

1:03:56 Amber Benson Hey, you know, they want to send it to me.

1:03:59 Drew I will send them over to you. The tech TV people will send it to you.

1:04:02 Adam All I got to say is, I will.

1:04:04 Drew I'll do it through Lauren.

1:04:05 Adam This is never going to happen. Listen, you cable idiots, Moc Schnell, get busy. Get busy, you retard.

1:04:11 Drew Satellite is the future.

1:04:13 Adam You're done with. Good riddance, you rip-off artist. Go ahead, Aaron. I've had these idiots ripping me off for years.

1:04:22 Drew Aaron?

1:04:24 Adam Yes?

1:04:24 Drew What's up? Oh, spooky.

1:04:27 Well, right now, I am trying to break, find a good way to break the news to my girlfriend that I am a former juvenile sex offender.

1:04:41 Drew Former?

1:04:42 Adam Hold on. Is this Stephen Hawking? Is he speaking through one of those electronic translator things?

1:04:49 Drew He's actually like James, the zoophiliac we had.

1:04:51 Adam No, he runs through these guys who talk through the boxes.

1:04:54 Caller This conversation comes to have no purpose anymore.

1:04:59 Drew Okay. So, what do you mean former juvenile sex offender?

1:05:03 Well, I'm 19 right now, you know. I'm not a present juvenile sex offender. I'm 19. I'm past juvenile.

1:05:10 Adam Right.

1:05:11 Drew So, you're still...

1:05:12 Adam Well, he's no longer a juvenile sex offender because he's over 18.

1:05:18 Drew But I imagine at under 18, he wasn't having sex with people over 18. It meant he was having sex with younger people, right?

1:05:25 Adam Yeah, I would assume that.

1:05:26 Drew How old, Aaron, were you having sex with?

1:05:30 Could you repeat that?

1:05:31 Drew How old were the people you were offending on?

1:05:34 It ranged from 6 to 15.

1:05:40 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy behavior.

1:05:43 Drew And how did you not do that now?

1:05:48 Excuse me?

1:05:49 Drew How is it you're not doing that kind of thing or don't have that impulse now?

1:05:53 Well, when I was 14 and got caught in the act, I went to a sex offender treatment program. And they beat you down. Every time you check out a girl, you get your monkey stomping, your brain synced back to your mother. But, you know, I mean, they put you through a program. And then, you know, I mean, after all, I'm one of the ones who actually changed my ways. And, you know, I don't have any impulses anymore. And the only problem, only real problem I have is, you know, my problem with pornography.

1:06:35 Drew And that's of juvenile pornography?

1:06:39 Right now, I'm withdrawing.

1:06:41 Drew Withdrawing from that?

1:06:43 Yeah.

1:06:44 Drew Did you ever get into animals or anything of that sort?

1:06:46 No.

1:06:47 Drew What do you think?

1:06:47 Adam He's no sicko.

1:06:48 Drew I just think of that feeling.

1:06:49 Adam Yeah. And he'd only jack off to veal, though. The cows were too old. Thank you.

1:06:57 Amber Benson Usually, that's somebody who's had that, you know.

1:06:59 Drew Of course. Happened to them. Yeah.

1:07:01 Adam We would assume that. So, Aaron. Yes? You have a girlfriend now?

1:07:05 Yeah.

1:07:06 Adam And how old is she?

1:07:07 Nineteen.

1:07:08 Adam All right. And you want to tell her about this? You do?

1:07:16 Well, you know, she's my girlfriend. She has a right to know.

1:07:19 Amber Benson Yeah, she does. You have to be honest with her.

1:07:20 Adam Really?

1:07:21 Amber Benson Yeah, you do. I mean, this is somebody that he could potentially spend a long time with, and she needs to be aware, you know, of what is in his past. Yeah, exactly. Someone she could possibly have children with, you know.

1:07:34 Drew Are you still in treatment, Aaron?

1:07:36 Actually, no.

1:07:37 Drew Are you supposed to be?

1:07:40 Well, you know, I'm not, I'm well, yes. Actually, well, I'm in foster care right now, but you know, on the 15th of November, I'm being released.

1:07:52 Drew But aren't you supposed to still be in treatment for your impulses?

1:07:57 No. I graduated a few months ago.

1:08:02 Drew Did you go to some kind of 12-step program?

1:08:05 Actually, you know, it's not really a 12-step program. It's something where you have to work your way up, you know. You know, it's not really an easy process. And you know, sometimes you go back, you know.

1:08:18 Amber Benson Is there somebody following your case right now that you go see?

1:08:25 Well, there was for quite a while when I was still having therapy. And you know, once I graduated, they figured they didn't really need to worry about that. And you know.

1:08:40 Adam I know. Once you got your diploma, you're out of there. It's like that's why they're kicking me out. Yeah. Well, how do you feel? I mean, do you feel like you're going to reoffend?

1:08:51 I don't know.

1:08:53 Adam No?

1:08:54 No.

1:08:54 Drew I said, I don't know.

1:08:55 Adam No, I think you said no.

1:08:57 I said no.

1:08:58 Adam Yeah. It's not something you want to do again?

1:09:03 Well, it's too many people get hurt in the process and I won't even, I don't even dare go take something from the store anymore, let alone.

1:09:15 Adam What happened to you growing up? Did somebody do this to you?

1:09:19 Actually, I'm one of the few that never had it happen to them.

1:09:23 Caller Really? Wow.

1:09:24 Drew That doesn't make sense.

1:09:25 Adam You got to admire that in a way.

1:09:27 Drew Were you physically abused?

1:09:31 Yes.

1:09:32 Caller Okay.

1:09:33 Adam So your dad beat on you?

1:09:35 Yes, but it kind of reversed because when I was 12, I got tired of it and started beating the crap out of him.

1:09:43 Adam Out of him?

1:09:44 Yes.

1:09:44 Adam Oh, good.

1:09:45 Drew Yeah, thank you.

1:09:46 Adam Yeah, I hope you killed him. Yeah, fine. Listen, here's the deal.

1:09:53 Amber Benson He presses the button. He's going to give me a lecture now.

1:09:55 Adam Yeah. You know in Frankenstein, they went up to Dr. Frankenstein's castle and they're basically burning down? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because he created this monster and then he let it loose on the village.

1:10:09 Amber Benson And then these parents... Yeah, but by doing something like going after and killing somebody that abused you, you just make what you're dealing with even worse. You know what I mean?

1:10:17 Adam No, I'm fine with that. Because this guy could have other kids he was abusing. You create these monsters and then you let them loose on the world.

1:10:25 Amber Benson No, it's not right. No, it's totally not right.

1:10:27 Adam And they created these guys by physical or sexual abuse.

1:10:32 Amber Benson We're not living in a movie where you kill the bad guy and you miraculously don't ever think about it again.

1:10:38 Adam No, no, he'll never be the same again. I just feel better.

1:10:44 Amber Benson It's not like it's not as long as you feel better, then everything's okay.

1:10:47 Adam It doesn't solve the problem. It's just why not? You know, we're going to kill Ben Laden, hopefully, God willing, very soon. It's probably not going to solve too much, but we'll all feel a little bit better. We'll be fine. We deserve that. No problem. Anyone who, you know, sexually molester a kid, I hope someone kills them. I've got no problem with that.

1:11:08 Drew What about Aaron? You want someone to kill him? Are the parents of these kids he abused?

1:11:12 Adam If someone could have put a bullet in his head before he got to this six-year-old, well, look, if you had a six-year-old that this guy raped...

1:11:20 Amber Benson Oh, I would probably be the one to go after him, totally. Like, put a bullet in his head.

1:11:24 Adam Yeah, yeah. Now that he's got his stuff under control...

1:11:28 Drew These are very, very complex things, but I will, let's just say that people that have been sexually abused that are going down a sexually compulsive path...

1:11:34 Amber Benson Are going to continue without...

1:11:36 Drew Well, there are treatments. There are treatments. And God willing, you get to treatment before somebody gets hurt. That's the idea. And most of these treatments are around 12-step programs and sexual addictions and sexual compulsions. There are highly trained professionals out there. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of time. Aaron should still be in some kind of treatment.

1:11:54 Amber Benson 100%, yeah.

1:11:55 Drew But somebody is going to get hurt if he doesn't stay in some kind of treatment.

1:11:59 Amber Benson Totally.

1:12:00 Drew Thank God he's very much improved and that's good, but he's still involved in pornography. It's like addiction.

1:12:05 Adam So should he tell the girlfriend?

1:12:07 Amber Benson Yes. Oh really?

1:12:10 Caller Yeah.

1:12:11 Adam Really?

1:12:12 Drew Here we go.

1:12:12 Amber Benson Adam's like, no, I don't think so.

1:12:13 Adam Well, I don't know. Look, I'm sure she's assuming there's something going on with Aaron just from hanging with the guy for a little bit, wouldn't you say?

1:12:22 Drew I'd say I was with him for five minutes and I got the feeling.

1:12:26 Adam Drew, what do you want to bet that Aaron's girlfriend has a history, may have been the victim of?

1:12:31 Drew Oh, I'd be shocked.

1:12:34 Amber Benson You put your wallet now?

1:12:35 Adam No, we don't even need to on this one.

1:12:37 Drew We'll place in the same bed on this one.

1:12:39 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a break there, Drew. We'll talk to LaKesha. Hello?

1:12:45 What's up? Oh my God, I cannot believe I got on. I could not even tell you. I was telling that girl in there, you know, that you guys have far too little black people calling.

1:12:56 Drew All right, hold on, hold on.

1:12:58 Adam Hey, a bitch.

1:12:59 Drew White people pretending to be black.

1:13:00 Excuse me?

1:13:01 Drew Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1:13:03 Caller That's black.

1:13:05 Adam Yeah, we got in a chill on line number seven. It's going to talk to LaKesha after this.

1:13:12 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Radio, Loveline will be right back.

1:13:17 Adam I'm not sure about the blacks. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew. Amber Benson is here tonight. Hello. Who's this rock band?

1:14:01 Drew I've never heard this one.

1:14:03 Adam Penny Pugh? Penny Wise. Oh, Penny Pugh is a good name. Penny Pugh. Pugue Wise.

1:14:10 Amber Benson Lawrence All-Sickish.

1:14:11 Adam Yeah, that's a good song from Penny Wise. Alien Empire has been here tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, UPN, Tuesday Nights, everybody. Yeah?

1:14:23 Amber Benson Yeah, no, you nailed it.

1:14:24 Adam Yeah, I got it. Hey, your cloth.

1:14:26 Drew UPN.

1:14:26 Amber Benson You staked it.

1:14:30 Adam Aleya?

1:14:31 Yeah?

1:14:32 Adam You're 17?

1:14:33 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:14:34 Adam What's up?

1:14:35 Caller Hi.

1:14:36 Caller Not much. I've just been wondering, recently my boobs have been sore all the time. Yeah, and I don't know if there's something I can do about it or a pill I could take or something.

1:14:49 Drew Have you ever noticed the kind of accent the Southern California women have when they refer to their own breasts?

1:14:53 Caller Yeah.

1:14:54 Drew Say that again. Your water sore? No, seriously. I find this very curious. Your what? Water sore? My boobs.

1:15:01 Adam Boobs.

1:15:01 Drew Boobs, yeah.

1:15:02 Adam Your boobs are sore? Yeah. And are they big?

1:15:07 Caller Um, uh, I, sort of. Yeah.

1:15:10 Adam It wasn't a great endorsement of your boobs.

1:15:12 Caller Sort of, kind of. I don't know.

1:15:15 Drew B-E-W.

1:15:16 Adam C-Cup's nice.

1:15:17 Drew Okay. Are you on the birth control pill?

1:15:20 Caller No, I'm not. I'm on the other thing called deeper provera, like the shot.

1:15:26 Drew How many bits on that?

1:15:28 Caller Since July.

1:15:30 Drew Have you noticed it getting worse from the shots?

1:15:34 Caller Yeah. It's been like the past two months.

1:15:37 Drew So it's possibly from the shot. Have you lost your period?

1:15:41 Caller No. It's been getting worse. It's been like for three weeks and stuff.

1:15:44 Drew So you're bleeding all the time.

1:15:45 Caller Well, not all the time, but it's just like a little bit each day for like three weeks. And then it's like over.

1:15:51 Drew Usually by the... you've had your second shot of depth of provera, right?

1:15:53 Caller No. It's my first time using it, so...

1:15:56 Drew But you've had the second shot.

1:15:57 Caller No, not yet.

1:15:58 Drew You had it first in July and you have had your second... July, August, September, October. How come you haven't had your second shot yet?

1:16:04 Caller They haven't called me back to the doctor's office yet. And they said they'd call me back when it was time.

1:16:10 Drew Okay. Aleah, this is your responsibility, right?

1:16:13 Caller My boobs?

1:16:13 Drew No, not your boobs. Your boobs? Your birth control. You had it in July, right?

1:16:18 Caller Yeah.

1:16:19 Drew July?

1:16:20 Caller Yeah.

1:16:20 Drew August, September, October.

1:16:22 Caller This time, yeah.

1:16:23 Drew It has to be three months right now.

1:16:24 Caller Yeah.

1:16:25 Drew So you're due. You need to get that done. And usually by the time you get your...

1:16:28 Caller My boob?

1:16:29 Adam Anderson keeps putting that in, that idiot.

1:16:32 Drew By the time you get the second shot, usually the heavy bleeding settles down. In fact, you lose your period. Really? And some of the tenderness might settle down, too, with that. You're not going to let me talk to her.

1:16:44 Adam No. I know she's due and her boobs hurt.

1:16:49 Caller My boob?

1:16:50 Adam That's right. Your boobs. So, Drew, that's enough. You go back and get that shot.

1:16:55 Drew Well, there can be other things going on.

1:16:56 Adam I will talk to the doctor when you get there.

1:17:00 Drew Talk to me tonight.

1:17:01 Amber Benson So she called.

1:17:03 Drew She can have cysts. She could have... Sometimes the underwire bras irritate them and cause...

1:17:07 Adam She's listening. All right.

1:17:09 Drew And...

1:17:09 Adam Anything else?

1:17:10 Drew Is she lactating, anything going on?

1:17:12 Adam No. She would have said that.

1:17:13 Drew No breast... No liquid coming out of the nipples, right?

1:17:15 Adam Is your meal coming out of your boobs?

1:17:18 Caller There's nothing coming out of them.

1:17:19 Caller All right.

1:17:19 Adam Thank you. You go back there and get that shot and tell the doctor your boobs hurt, okay?

1:17:24 Caller All right.

1:17:24 Caller Thank you.

1:17:25 Drew Don't worry. It's not getting serious. I guarantee it.

1:17:27 Caller All right.

1:17:27 Caller Thank you.

1:17:28 Adam Take care.

1:17:28 Caller All right.

1:17:28 Caller Bye.

1:17:29 Drew Bye-bye.

1:17:30 Adam Drew guaranteed her health.

1:17:31 Drew No, I guaranteed her boobs won't be anything serious.

1:17:36 Adam Jerry?

1:17:37 Caller Yeah.

1:17:38 Adam You're 16?

1:17:39 Caller That's right. What's up? I've been having this problem. Like every time I see a girl I like, I end up getting thoughts like someone killing me.

1:17:49 Adam Someone killing you?

1:17:50 Caller Yeah. Hmm.

1:17:51 Drew Say that again.

1:17:52 Amber Benson What?

1:17:53 Caller Yeah.

1:17:53 Drew We're having trouble tracking here.

1:17:54 Adam Jerry, you're a virgin, are you?

1:17:56 Caller Yeah.

1:17:57 Drew You're 16?

1:17:58 Caller Yeah.

1:17:59 Adam Drew, tell me if I've ever been wrong on the voice.

1:18:02 Drew Never. Virgin or virgin versus non-virgin, 100 percent.

1:18:06 Adam Always know the virgin guys.

1:18:08 Caller No one can recognize me. Not even my sister recognizes me on the phone. No.

1:18:12 Drew He's not saying he recognizes you, Jerry. Adam never met you. But he recognized that you were a virgin.

1:18:17 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:18 Drew Okay. Are you on a medication?

1:18:20 Adam Hold on a second. I wonder if chicks pick that up in some weird way, too. I mean, they have pretty good instincts that way.

1:18:27 Drew That what? That he's a virgin or?

1:18:29 Adam Subtly.

1:18:30 Amber Benson The pocket protector sometimes gives it away, but.

1:18:33 Adam Yeah. And wearing the headset to school?

1:18:36 Drew Women's keenest sense is for any type of desperation. That is their most keenest sense.

1:18:41 Adam I'm just saying, if I'm 100% on my can tell when a guy's a virgin from listening to a few words he says over the phone, when he talks to the ladies at school.

1:18:50 Drew Oh, sure.

1:18:52 Adam I'm just saying, I wonder if women have that instinct. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:18:56 Amber Benson Sometimes. It depends on the situation.

1:18:58 Drew But being a virgin is not what women clue into for closing guys out.

1:19:02 Adam No, no. But they clue into sort of, he's an inexperienced kind of a nerdy guy. Jerry?

1:19:08 Caller Yeah?

1:19:08 Adam I'm sorry, buddy. So you think about somebody killing you.

1:19:11 Caller Yeah. It's like maybe one of our guy friends or something. I don't know. I usually get through stuff like last night, I couldn't sleep because it's been bugging me.

1:19:20 Drew Are you doing any drugs or anything?

1:19:22 Caller No, no drugs.

1:19:23 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:19:24 Caller No medication.

1:19:25 Drew Do you have any other sorts of hearing voices or anything like that?

1:19:28 Caller Sometimes.

1:19:29 Drew What do the voices tell you?

1:19:30 Caller You're insane.

1:19:33 Caller I just get these weird voices. I don't know what they're saying.

1:19:36 Drew What do the voices say?

1:19:37 Adam I think it's bogus. I don't believe it.

1:19:39 Caller Bogus?

1:19:40 Adam Yeah.

1:19:41 Caller Because I usually hear this, I don't know, whispering or something. I don't know.

1:19:43 Drew And what do they whisper?

1:19:44 Caller I can't tell. They just whisper different things.

1:19:47 Adam You're not getting laid is what they whisper.

1:19:49 Drew Do they say, do they call your name? Voices?

1:19:52 Caller They call me Nick. They call me a bunch of different names. Some things I can't really describe, but they just tell me they're all going to end up dying.

1:20:00 Drew This is actually describing something pretty accurate.

1:20:02 Adam Yeah.

1:20:03 Caller Yeah.

1:20:03 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah. Mr. 20 percent over here.

1:20:07 Drew You're right. Mine's thinking about it. But he is accurate in terms of what he's describing.

1:20:11 Adam I'm starting with him. So is there real, you see a beautiful girl, let's just say, hypothetically, just shut up here, Drew. You see a beautiful woman.

1:20:19 Drew Not about that.

1:20:20 Adam And you look at her.

1:20:20 Amber Benson This is about, yeah.

1:20:21 Adam Do you immediately think that someone's going to kill you?

1:20:24 Caller Yeah. I have one of her friends, one of her guy friends.

1:20:26 Drew Do you have any other thoughts of people coming to get you?

1:20:32 Caller Not really.

1:20:33 Adam How would one of her guy friends know that you looked at her?

1:20:37 Caller What happened?

1:20:38 Adam How would one of her guy friends know that you were looking at her?

1:20:42 Caller Well, I don't, that's not actually true, but I just get these thoughts that they're going to kill me.

1:20:47 Drew Right. So he's just having obsessive thoughts.

1:20:48 Amber Benson He's worried. He's paranoid.

1:20:50 Drew A couple of things could be going on here, Jerry. Sometimes obsessive-compulsive disorders can come in like this, and people get these intrusive thoughts about being harmed unless they engage in certain kinds of rituals. Sometimes other kinds of thought disorders, psychotic illnesses come on, and you're a little young for it to be starting. So it's still something that needs evaluation, and there is very good medication for this right now. It's miserable to live like this.

1:21:12 Adam Yeah. Jerry sounds like he'd be a pretty good candidate for some of the medication. The newer medication. So Jerry needs to go get evaluated.

1:21:22 Drew Yep.

1:21:22 Caller For sure.

1:21:22 Adam As a psychiatrist or start with a doctor?

1:21:24 Caller Psychiatrist.

1:21:25 Drew So we can get... It's always good to get a medical evaluation first to make sure there's not some organic cause for this.

1:21:30 Adam Okay. Take care of yourself, Jerry, please.

1:21:32 Drew It's a medical cause.

1:21:33 Adam Jack?

1:21:34 Caller Yep.

1:21:34 Adam Year 24?

1:21:35 Caller Yeah.

1:21:36 Adam You ironically have a masturbation question, Jack?

1:21:39 Caller Ironically.

1:21:40 One of many, I'm sure.

1:21:41 Adam Interesting.

1:21:42 I wanted to know what the effects of masturbation are on the levels of testosterone in guys. I also wanted to know like if guys can take a sex hormone binding globulin like estrogen in order to reduce the thickness of your facial hair and acne.

1:21:55 Drew Now wait a minute. You're confusing several things. Sex hormone binding globulin is a circulating protein. It's not estrogen. Estrogen is a steroid. Okay?

1:22:04 Adam Okay.

1:22:05 Drew And there is an anti-estrogen agent called Vanica that helps reduce the light facial hair on the face of women.

1:22:15 Adam Why don't we have Vanica on line 6 or? Well, that's LaKisha.

1:22:18 Drew And are you talking about... What are you talking about?

1:22:22 My first question was like, if you, you know...

1:22:24 Drew No, no. Forget the first question. What is it you're asking about the hair?

1:22:28 I have really, really coarse facial hair and I usually get ingrown hairs and acne even at 24. And so I was reading that like estrogen binds or whatever they were, those binding globulin sort of attach to the testosterone so that it can't... It doesn't have the same effect on your facial hair. And I was wondering if there was something similar in males.

1:22:45 Drew There are things like that out there, but most of it is actually directed at increasing hair growth and trying to deal with baldness.

1:22:54 Adam Hey, Jack.

1:22:54 Drew So in terms of decreasing hair growth, I do not wear anything like that for men. There is that for women.

1:22:58 Adam Let me help you. I got a thick beard myself. I get the...

1:23:01 I watch you all the time on the Man Show, Adam. It's awesome.

1:23:03 Adam Thank you. Thank you, Jack. And I get those ingrown hairs myself. Where do you get them? On your neck? Yeah.

1:23:10 I usually have to dig them out with a pin.

1:23:11 Adam Yeah.

1:23:12 Drew That's what Adam does.

1:23:13 Adam It's lovely. You got to dig them out. You got to get some tweezers and a pin. You got to dig them out because what they do is they just grow in and eventually they'll wrap around your brain.

1:23:21 Drew Jack, what you do with that, what's done for that usually is laser. But that's what's usually done for that.

1:23:26 No.

1:23:29 Adam I've done it three times.

1:23:30 Drew I know, but that's what's done for that usually.

1:23:32 Adam Hold on a second. Would you shut up? I saw that quack Dr. Marcel had charged me full price for his crappy laser treatment out there, by the way. What a guy. Full price. He charges me. That son of a bitch comes on the show. Dr. Marcel. What's up with these plastic surgeons with the pinky rings and the gold rope chain bracelets and the Porsches? Were these guys real doctors?

1:23:56 Amber Benson Well, they got you to pay full price, though, didn't they?

1:23:59 Adam Full price. And by the way, that was nothing but just a painful and humiliating experience. The hair grew back like three weeks later. It's a complete waste of time. Yes, you can go and get procedure after procedure after procedure and maybe it will work. Not worth it.

1:24:14 Amber Benson It takes like four, right? I know people that are doing it.

1:24:18 Adam It could take a thousand. It's a big one. Let me tell you something. This laser is no magic pill. Everyone made it out, oh, you get the laser. Just take the laser. The laser will cure everything. The laser doesn't do squat.

1:24:32 Drew Let me finish with Jack, too.

1:24:34 Adam I'll tell him what to do. I'm the one with the ingrown hair.

1:24:37 Drew He wants to know about his testosterone.

1:24:39 Adam Tell him about that when I'm done with the hair. Forget about the laser.

1:24:42 Drew Unless you just have a laser on your faggoty self.

1:24:45 Adam Thank you. Here's what you get the laser. You get to lie there and smell your own hair burning, and then later you smell money burning when you throw it at the quack who performed the laser on you. So forget about that. You get yourself one of those triple blade razors. I don't know why, it just works.

1:25:02 Caller All right?

1:25:03 Adam And start shaving the direction of the... Don't shave against the hair. You got to go the direction it grows, right?

1:25:11 Caller I always go against it, though.

1:25:12 Adam And use that...

1:25:13 Drew Don't go against.

1:25:15 Adam What did he just say?

1:25:16 Drew He always goes against.

1:25:17 Adam All right. Don't go against. Go the direction it grows, all right?

1:25:21 Okay.

1:25:22 Adam All right. And use gel, that edge gel stuff.

1:25:25 Yeah, I do.

1:25:26 Adam Works good. All right. And then as soon as you're done, just take a bunch of OxyTan and just slap it on there.

1:25:32 Drew Also, what about the stuff the black guys used to remove them?

1:25:35 Adam I don't know. Use the OxyTan.

1:25:37 Drew All right.

1:25:37 Adam Okay. Do you understand?

1:25:39 Drew Jack, in terms of masturbation, if you masturbate too little, your testosterone levels will actually drop. There's sort of an optimum range. Then you get the Corolla syndrome, which is-

1:25:49 Adam It means four times a day.

1:25:49 Drew When you hit the Corolla plateau, then you fall off the other side and start actually decreasing your testosterone levels with excessive masturbation.

1:25:58 Adam Okay.

1:25:58 Amber Benson You've just overdone it.

1:25:59 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break here. You don't want to talk to LaKesha? LaKesha? LaKesha's falling asleep. LaKesha McEvil?

1:26:14 Hello? Excuse me. I'm here. I'm sorry about that. Y'all been keeping me on hold for a long time. I just thought maybe you want to go come back or whatever, but I just wanted to say a couple quick things. I go eat up your time. You know what I'm saying?

1:26:26 Amber Benson All right.

1:26:27 Adam Go right ahead.

1:26:28 Well, first of all, Amber, you are, you know, you just are amazing and I just have a quick question for you about maybe the crew of, you know, Buffy. I was wondering if there was any particular cast member you know that you click with?

1:26:42 Amber Benson Gosh, I work with really cool people.

1:26:44 Adam She said she had them all in the commercial. Yeah.

1:26:46 Amber Benson Oh, I had them all. No, I really love Michelle Trachtenberg. She is just like my little sister.

1:26:51 Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. How will you do? You know, I love Buffy and, you know, I was reading an article the other day, how they were saying that, you know, that Buffy is, you know, like six years old or whatever, and that he's still producing really good product. And that's just really rare, you know, for like a teen show, you know what I'm saying? Y'all still be having good scripts or whatever. You know what I'm saying?

1:27:12 Amber Benson We're really lucky. We have great writers. That's awesome.

1:27:14 That's really awesome. And then I had a quick question for Adam. Yeah. Some sexual techniques that I would know. Excuse me? Yeah, go ahead. Some sexual techniques I was familiar with. I was wondering if you could help me out with them. Because there were two of them and my friends and I was discussing this. And we could not, you know what I'm saying? We couldn't figure out.

1:27:33 Caller Right.

1:27:33 So one of them is a filthy Sanchez.

1:27:36 Caller Right.

1:27:37 Caller What?

1:27:37 What is that?

1:27:38 Drew Well, we'll talk about it when we get back from the break. What was the other?

1:27:40 Caller What was the other?

1:27:41 You know, I'm sorry, but it's always you ruining all the fun. You know what I'm saying?

1:27:45 Drew That's my job. That is my job.

1:27:47 You're always killing the fun.

1:27:48 Drew That is my job. You got different jobs here. That's mine.

1:27:52 Right. A hot carl, you know.

1:27:54 Adam A hot carl.

1:27:54 A hot carl, yeah.

1:27:55 Drew Hold on. We'll talk about it.

1:27:57 Adam All right. When we come back.

1:28:30 This is Opie, and this is Bud, and we're at the Long Beach of All Stars, who are listening to Loveline.

1:28:35 This is Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

1:28:39 Adam All righty, a little more Loveline to go. Amber Benson is our guest tonight.

1:28:44 Amber Benson Yip-sirry-bob.

1:28:46 Adam Buffy the Vampire Slayer, UPN Tuesday Night, 8 o'clock.

1:28:49 Amber Benson Does that annoy you, having to say that over and over and over again?

1:28:51 Adam No. It's my pleasure. Thank you. Sure. All right, let's burn through some calls.

1:28:58 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:28:58 Adam Yeah, Dirty Sanchez. How did Dirty Sanchez go through?

1:29:01 Drew I don't remember.

1:29:02 Adam Something about...

1:29:04 Drew Stool and mustaches.

1:29:05 Adam Stool and the mustache and maybe that's where the... And it was called the Dirty Sanchez and then we're called the Filthy Sanchez.

1:29:12 Drew Hot Carl, we don't know.

1:29:13 Adam Hot Carl, not aware of that one. So we're really of little help. Let's burn through some calls here. Kate, 25.

1:29:23 Drew Hi.

1:29:23 Adam You want to know if you should see your psychologist even though you freaked out last time?

1:29:28 Caller No, she freaked out.

1:29:30 Caller What did she do?

1:29:31 Caller Well, I was trying to...

1:29:33 Caller I've only seen her like four times. I was trying to reschedule an appointment and she said, I guess the receptionist said that there was no way that they would have to bill me anyway and it was kind of an emergency, so it was something I really needed to cancel for. I went in anyway and she just said, I said, well, I completely understand. Your time is your money and I went ahead and went in and she started going down her list of people that tried to cancel that day and just freaking out and she was into the, you guys complain about your kids. I don't have kids.

1:30:04 Caller You complain about your husband.

1:30:05 Caller I don't even have a husband.

1:30:06 Amber Benson She needs a therapist.

1:30:08 Adam Go somewhere else.

1:30:09 Caller Yeah.

1:30:09 Adam Go find a new one. That's all right and don't go to a chick psychologist either.

1:30:13 Caller He was a lover though. I had a great boob job.

1:30:16 Adam A great boob job, oh boy. Let me tell you something. Chick psychologists are a little nutty. Male psychologists are nutty too but chick ones are even nutty.

1:30:24 Drew I think the women when they're doing it right, do that job better than anybody because they never do it right. No, they do. It requires that attunement that women have a capacity for that is sensitivity. It's attunement that they can really see where you are emotionally. Men, we don't do that so well. We can, but we don't do it as well as women.

1:30:42 Caller Find somebody else?

1:30:44 Adam Yes.

1:30:45 Not here where I live.

1:30:46 Caller It's really hard.

1:30:46 Caller Where do you live?

1:30:48 Hawaii.

1:30:49 Adam Speak to the volcano god.

1:30:51 Drew Wait, no. You live in Hawaii. There's got to be tons of therapists out there.

1:30:54 Adam Really?

1:30:54 Drew Are you kidding? People love to live out there. No, no. I can't live in Hawaii if I'm a therapist. Oh, no.

1:31:00 Adam Those islanders don't go to see shrinks. They just pray to false idols and things like that. Well, they need them, but they're so busy eating spam and doing that flame dance that they don't know. They love spam over there.

1:31:14 Drew Fried spam.

1:31:14 Adam It's kind of how you know where the culture is, by the way.

1:31:17 Amber Benson Fried Snickers bars in Scotland.

1:31:19 Drew What?

1:31:20 Amber Benson They bread and like deep fry Snickers bars.

1:31:23 Drew What?

1:31:24 Adam That I could kind of get into.

1:31:26 Drew Very interesting.

1:31:27 Adam They deep fry everything. Find a new one. You don't need a shrink that's not here in New York. Travis, you're 17. You orgasm in massive amounts.

1:31:38 Caller Yeah. I just like had sex like four days ago. I had some massive amounts and it hurts really bad.

1:31:45 Caller I just want to know what's wrong.

1:31:47 Drew Where does it hurt?

1:31:49 Caller Just like when it comes out, just the whole penis.

1:31:51 Drew It burns?

1:31:51 Caller Yeah. Oh, yeah.

1:31:53 Adam That's bad.

1:31:53 Drew Does it hurt when you pee?

1:31:55 Caller No.

1:31:56 Drew Just semen burns. What does massive amounts mean?

1:32:00 Caller It's like a lot. It's like more than normal.

1:32:03 Drew For you, more than normal?

1:32:04 Caller Yeah.

1:32:04 Drew So all of a sudden, there's a lot more?

1:32:06 Caller Yeah.

1:32:07 Adam No, he doesn't mean that. He doesn't mean all of a sudden, there's a lot more. He just means a lot more than the average guy, right?

1:32:12 Drew How does he know what the average guy puts out?

1:32:15 Adam I know.

1:32:16 Drew Yeah, but does he know? I know you know.

1:32:18 Adam Travis?

1:32:19 Drew You measured several times.

1:32:20 Adam Did more started coming out of you recently or was it always that way? Oh, so you upped your production?

1:32:29 Drew Yeah.

1:32:30 Amber Benson Sounds like he's got like a piece come across something.

1:32:34 Drew I don't know what this is. I don't know. But if it hurts, it needs to be looked into.

1:32:39 Adam Focus on the pain part and maybe it's a sexually transmitted disease, although it would hurt when he urinated probably.

1:32:45 Drew Then I also wonder if he's talking about discharge instead of, you never know with these guys, our callers.

1:32:52 Adam My first shot is always pus.

1:32:53 Drew Yeah, me too.

1:32:54 Adam And then the second one is.

1:32:55 Drew No, I mean my first guess with these guys. Not that I actually put out.

1:32:59 Adam Let's see, when I'm with the ladies, the first is pus, second semen, then urine.

1:33:04 Drew And then your soul.

1:33:05 Adam And then sawdust comes out and then kitty litter.

1:33:08 Drew How about the-

1:33:09 Adam And then my soul.

1:33:09 Drew How about the pow flag?

1:33:11 Adam Oh, then that flag, yeah, from laughing. It just says bang on it. Actually it says semen. All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:33:20 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:22 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:25 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:26 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:34:08 Adam Well, there it is. Where did the time go, everybody? I want to thank Amber Benson for coming in here tonight and pimping the Buffy the Vampire Slay.

1:34:19 Amber Benson Thank you guys for having me.

1:34:20 Adam Always good to see you.

1:34:22 Amber Benson You guys are fun.

1:34:23 Adam Yeah, you're a fun guest and we're glad to have you. Come back anytime.

1:34:27 Amber Benson Thank you.

1:34:27 Adam Bring your mom.

1:34:30 Caller Thanks.

1:34:32 Adam Alien and farm tomorrow night, everybody. And until next time, Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:38 Caller Well, nobody.

1:34:38 Adam I'm not.

1:34:40 Caller But it's in fact the abstinence message.

1:34:41 Drew But it's in fact the abstinence message. But it's in fact the abstinence message. But it's in fact the abstinence message. But it's in fact the abstinence message. But it's in fact the abstinence message.

1:34:53 Caller But it's in fact the abstinence message. Either those of the staff, management sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, October 28, 2001